The Bill Simmons Podcast - AB’s Meltdown, 2021 Losers, and Week 18’s Playoff Puzzle With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: January 3, 2022

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Buccaneers’ comeback win vs. the Jets, Packers-Vikings, Texans-49ers, Cowboys-Cardinals, the Colts’ loss to the Raiders, Chiefs-Bengals, NFL awards, the playoff picture, and more (1:38). Then they guess the lines for NFL Week 18 (32:29), followed by Parent Corner (1:09:51). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, if you're enjoying the book of Boba Fett, check out the ringer verse podcast. Midnight boys had an instant reaction podcast and then Mally Rubin and Joanna Robinson did a deep dive of chapter one. You can find both of those podcasts on the ringer verse podcast. It's the bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel footballs in full action. FanDuel's highest rated sports book is the best place to bet at all. We've been doing pretty well on million dollar picks this year. I love the first month of the season because you have to go into the season thinking, I think Pittsburgh's going to be good. I think the Chargers are going to be good.

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2022, the Cuzz and I are going to break down week 17 and all the playoff scenarios. Not as fun as it usually is heading into the final week of the season. A lot of the stuff is pretty settled. But there's some gambling opportunities to be had. We'll cover all of it.

First, our friendsin Sal is here. It is our first podcast of 2022, Sunday night, almost 8.30. Sal just took his shirt off and he stormed off. We convinced him to come back. Ran around the neighborhood, much to the neighbor's chagrin. My God, what happened there? That is spectacular. It was really weird watching the games. It seemed like a fan was on the field, but it wasn't a fan.

It was Antonio Brown. He had no shirt. He was storming off. He was egging on the crowd. wasn't a fan. It was Antonio Brown. He had no shirt. He was storming off. He was egging on the crowd. The crowd was confused. It was at a Jets game. And, you know, a lot of people, a lot of memes, obviously. Everyone making the slap shot joke.

I know I did. But the real kind of storyline from it was that I feel like that kind of killed the Bucs. I don't think they can win the Super Bowl without him and Godwin. Interesting. I was thinking it inspired them to win that game. They were kind of dead. They were down two touchdowns and almost like Brady, like snuck off and said, Hey, you can do something outrageous. Go take your shirt off and throw your pads and everything into the crowd. Cause this team needs a spark. And, uh, it is very strange. It is because he's good. right? And like you said, they need him. He made Arians look like a fool. Arians like, we'll never tolerate anything like

that. And they took him back after the backs card and everything. And now again, they say he's not going to be a buck, but they could definitely use them. You're right. In one of these games, it's going to be tough to win three in a row without him. He had so much baggage and they just kept looking the other way. The vaccine thing was the latest. Kyle texted me this morning because he was in a fantasy championship. And he was like,

who should I start? Keenan Allen or Antonio Brown? And I was like, I would start Antonio Brown. It feels like their whole offense is gearing toward him and Mike Evans. And now he's out. And now you basically have Mike Evans

who God knows if he could play four straight, you know, games in the playoffs. And Gronk, who's God knows if he can last for four games. And I went from a couple weeks ago thinking the Bucs were, I thought, the safest pick in the NFC. Now, I honestly don't know. I don't really love any of the teams. I don't love Green Bay's defense.

I think Tampa's had too much drama. Definitely don't love the Rams. I don't really love any of the teams. I don't love Green Bay's defense. I think Tampa's had too much drama. Definitely don't love the Rams. I don't love your team. I don't trust Arizona. San Francisco, Garoppolo, we don't even know when his thumb is going to be. You know, you go on down the line, and it's like, I have no idea

who's going to come out of the NFC now. Well, I'll say this. You screwed Kyle out of some fantasy, Lou, and you should at least give, you got to give him something. Give him the White Shadow poster in the back or something. I'll just give him alcohol. When in doubt with Kyle,

just give him alcohol. Give him some alcohol. Seriously, the default would be I like Green Bay the most because they don't have to play in round one. You got to go through Lambeau to beat him one of the next rounds, but I still think you can do drives on their defense for four quarters. They might get a couple guys back, which would help, but Rodgers does bored and like they go through the motions and they just

end up beating out i mean this team that they played today was uh was devastated without cousins uh by the way i love collinsworth we all love collinsworth but you don't have to do the sean manion's the real deal we talked to him friday we got you don't have to do the, this is Sean Mannion's the real deal. We talked to him Friday. You don't have to do that. You don't have to do it. Everybody's watching the game. Everybody's in the fantasy finals and they need like 12 out of Adams or, you know, they have the Packers on a teaser. You already have your audience to all the broadcasters out there. You don't need to do that for football. People are locked in because of fantasy and gambling. You don't have to convince us that Sean Mannion is good. They couldn't wait to take him out and put Kevin Bond in when he was 37, 10, right? Why do they do this? Listen, football fans, we can spot the bad QBs.

You're not lying to us. You're not pulling the wool over our eyes. We know. What would be the low bar for Collinsworth if he was doing a Drew Luck Broncos game? That's Drew Luck. When he gets momentum. I think this was it. I mean, they went through two stinkers. They had like 56-14 last week with the Cowboys and Washington team. And 37-10.

So they're looking at 93-24 in the last two games. And the one before that was 9-0 Saints over the Bucs. So they've had a bad streak. Al Michaels saw this. He's like, it's freezing. Kirk Cousins isn't playing. Get me the Michelle Tafoya deal. I can't deal.

Yeah, Michelle's got to take a bye next week. Do they have to work next week? She looks really cold in Lambeau. Yeah, it's only going to get colder. But honestly, enough with this sucky quarterback is good. You have the audience. You're not going to – look, if Spider-Man looks like he's down in the dumps, we don't need anyone to come on.

It's like, you know, he's an overachiever, Spider-Man. It's like, all right, we're in our seats for two and a half hours. We're going to watch. It's fine. It was funny. At one point, he had to, like, move around and scramble. And Collinsworth was like, well like well you know this is what they told us they want man you're moving around outside the pocket he can't move that well it's like what

can't he do well because he can't throw the ball either so he can't move he can't throw the ball six six look at him moving around that pocket six six I don't know what else to say I'm looking at they were doing it with Trey Lance today too because Trey Lance was an absolute apocalypse in the first half absolutely and he's going against the Texans who were missing 100 guys and as the game wore along, finally he made a couple plays, a couple scrambles and they're like, I'll tell you, Trey Lance

he's starting to figure it out. It's like, no, he's not. He's not figuring it out. This guy cannot play in a playoff game. What did he have? 10 terrible passes? You're not going to lose viewers, I promise. They're watching for a reason, and it's not Trey Lance specifically. Well, let's do losers of the week.

I think the Bucs are the number one losers this week just because I think the thing that made them special was the Godwin, Evans, Brown, Gronk, Brate, Scott Miller, all these dudes. They just had so many weapons, and now they just don't seem as scary to me. And I don't think Brady's looked that good the last five, six weeks either. You can certainly throw in their D.

The Jets came very close to winning that game. I had the Bucs in some parlays. I watched way more of that game than I expected. And the Jets were moving up and down. And really their big mistake, which has been the recurring theme all season, was the coach eschewing the free points and trying to get cute and going for it deep.

Oh, right. Not getting it. Oh, well, if we don't get it, the Bucs will have to go all the way down the field. It's like, all right, well, Tom Brady's been doing this for 20 years now. Well, that play was bad, too. So, yeah. The back-to-back bad play, bad call. Yeah, just go up the touchdown, and you're probably good.

But, yeah, I think the Bucs, what you didn't mention, is they can't run without Fournette. They really don't. They're not going to have a tough time breaking 60 yards, which they barely did today with Keyshawn Vaughn and Ronald Jones, and then it all becomes Brady. You can't have him throwing 50 times a game. That's not going to get them to a championship,

but you also can't count them out. They're falling apart literally because their coach is falling apart too. Jay Glazer was reporting that he has a partially torn Achilles and if it completely tears, he'll have to have surgery right away, but he's going to gut through it. And it's like, I like when the coach takes on the personality of the team And it feels like they're chugging to the playoffs in the wrong kind of way. And they played 21 rounds last year, you know, or 21 weeks last year with the bye week. And now there's just a lot of football. So I'm giving them a loser.

And you didn't even mention the defense. Like, yeah, Antonio Brown being out is one thing, but it's not good. I mean, the Jets ran for 150 yards against them. Zach Wilson looked good. And by the way, I think he's going to be good. I am going to say. I'm in too. I kind of like him.

Yeah. He made some interesting throws, but I just, I have confidence in him. I don't know. It just seems like he came back after the injury, like kind of a different quarterback. Well, that brings me to my second loser. I'm glad you brought him up because I've watched Trevor Lawrence two weeks in a row now. Yeah. He played my team this week.

And last week I had to watch him because I was going against him in fantasy. And he is having an absolutely atrocious rookie season. And the question for me is like, do we throw it out or does this mean something? Because I don't, I'm willing to give him a mulligan on it. He's got no receivers. He had the weirdest coaching situation on the planet. That team sucks. But he's also really bad. There's no signs of hope. Whereas Zach Wilson, as you mentioned, has had moments and quarters and these things

where you're like, oh, I see it. I get it. Lawrence, it seems like he should be being used as this Josh Allen, kind of this tall, powerful guy who can run and throw. And when he's scrambling, he's, it's like, holy shit, this guy's really an athlete. And then he'll just throw it to the other team or it'll get tipped or drop pick or whatever. And I don't know what to make of it.

I'm willing to say Mulligan. What do you say? All right. I'll give him a Mulligan, but you mentioned the bad coach. He was up against a lot. I think the bad coach helped him i think everyone's everyone's focused on the screwball coach and not this potentially bad pick and like i said we'll give him another year and everything else and we gave everybody else a year uh he's got 17 interceptions it was me you house

and hedge we did a round robin like a two round yeah this is your idea like you're not betting on enough stuff so i'm getting this text i Like, you're not betting on enough stuff. So I'm getting this text. I'm driving. You're forcing me to pick up on the highway. There was like four quarterbacks tied with 14 interceptions going into this week. I'm like, hey, let's do a draft as to who ends up with the most. It was like Lawrence and Heineke and Stafford's in there.

Like, all right, it took a while to get. Somehow it took us longer than like an 18 round, you know, awesome draft. But it was probably because you were on the road. I took Lamar. I took Lamar in the first round and he's never playing again. He's gone. He's coming back next year.

Again, he's disappointing you by not playing. But Trevor Lawrence took the lead today, I think, right? He had three more. So he has 17. I think House has. So House has Lawrence? Somebody has. Oh, Hench maybe has.

Lawrence is going to be the winner. Lance looks like he just hasn't played a lot of quarterback in his life. He looks super raw. I was texting with Danny Kelly and Mina Kimes about it, and we were saying how he's kind of like that Taysom Hill. He can run. You're just not afraid when he's throwing. The ball's going all over the place.

It's fluttering one play. It's 180 miles an hour the next play so i say maybe he's like tracem hill is that's like his early destiny i have no idea five years from now what he's going to look like because to me he reminds me of trubisky and that it just seemed he just seems not only raw but like he just hasn't played the position that much so i don't know what to make of him but i can't believe they showed all those picks for him. What do you think exactly Shanahan knew he screwed up? Probably in early August as the balls were going all over the place. Oh, early August. So you don't even think he had to see Mac Jones play for the Patriots.

He knew before they kicked off. I mean, Mac's probably out of the five. He's had the best rookie season, but probably was the closest to being a finished product. I don't know what to make of Fields. I think both of us like him, but he just looks really discombobulated a lot of the time. And they certainly look like they play better when he's not in there. That's a bad sign.

Well, I was thinking Davis Mills might have the upper edge on Trey Lance, but then it ended up being 23-7. He managed the game better and everything. But, I mean, you're in a tough spot if you're Shanahan and you're like, Jimmy G, just please don't get hurt. Oh, this thumb. Really? We have to put him in once?

I can't even find one or two packages for this Trey Lance for the first 16 weeks of the year. Really? He's got to start the whole game? All right. It's against the Texans. And they almost, they still almost blew it.

If not for a, like a fourth quarter surge. Well, they're not necessarily in. Right. So they play the Rams this week and we'll get to it when we do guess the lines, but if they lose and the saints win,

they could actually, there's scenarios where they don't make it. So how dare the NFL doing this at 8.30 Pacific time on a Sunday? How dare they not have the Week 18 schedule out? What's the matter with them? Why don't they have the schedule out? We're assuming, alright, it's 8.39 now. By the time

we're doing Guess the Lines, we're assuming Chargers Raiders will be the Sunday night. I don't know how we could avoid it. Wait, let's do a couple more losers quickly. I think picking the Super Bowl is a loser. How are we going to pick this? The Omicron is going to get worse and worse

over the next couple weeks. They're going to be changing whatever the guidelines are, but we're going to have a round one or a round two playoff game where it's going to be like the Kirk Cousins situation tonight. It's Sean Mannion. He's going to be controlling your playoff destiny.

Oh, he's a real deal though, Bill. Come on. He plays in the Super Bowl. You don't take two weeks to prepare. All right, 6'6", strapping arm. No, you're out of your mind if you pick a futures bet. You just are at this point.

You just shouldn't. It's so much fun. I'd love to say, oh, Packers, Chiefs, or Patriots, you know, Packers or something. But there's just so much up in the air. You don't know games. You're crazy to just bet any game on Sunday

before Saturday morning or something. You might actually be better off just taking long shot futures if you're doing futures. Why not? You might get Green Bay and Devontae Adams gets Omicron, wood, like two, 24 hours before the game. Then what happens? So I would pay, put them as losers. You're not going to like this. Um, come on. You're not going to like this. Come on. You gave Trevor Lawrence a Mulligan. Give Dak a break. Do I have to give him two months of a break? It is. Look, I warned everybody. I said that was the best thing about last week. He looked okay. He didn't look injured.

But really, and the numbers weren't bad today. But if you watch them play, it was a different story. What did he end up with? 24 for 38? It was rough. He just doesn't look comfortable. Even when he's scrambling, it doesn't look like he really 100% wants to scramble, and he's doing it begrudgingly.

I was texting you. It's like he's playing at my height. He's getting passes batted down. And one thing he was doing, he was taking off with the ball, which that's what I want to see out of their offense. But then he fumbled that just a little too late. And if I have to hear about Kyla Murray winning every time in high school, college and pro and that's in Texas, I'm at all of myself. But yeah, I'm not impressed with us.

I'm not. We're done with the Kellen Moore might be the next head coach of blank, blank, blank stuff, right? Because I cannot tell the difference to him and Jason Garrett at this point. Oh, come on. I don't know. Why don't you just pound the ball? What are you guys doing? You can get sued for saying something like that. That really is like, uh, that's slanderous. I didn't love the game plan. I know the stats looked okay at the end, but yeah, they don't give, they don't give anybody

the ball. They had 17 rush attempts and five of them were for Prescott. Not great. Not great. Not great. But listen, this is what happens when you play. Who did they play against? They went against Fromm and Gannon and Heineke and all these terrible quarterbacks, Taysom Hill.

And then the same thing with the Dolphins. Six out of their seven wins were against sub-500 quarterbacks, and then they ran into Tennessee. And Tannehill's not even that great, but, they got slaughtered. Yeah. Schrager and I had Thursday.

We stayed away from Cowboys Cardinals because your two best wins were like over the Patriots by two points and over like the chargers by three. I'm like, I'm staying away. So Sunday I get killed on the Colts game. And last second, I'm like, all right,

I'll try to make it up with a little, I'll get to bet against Drew Locke. I'll tease the Chargers. And then Chargers or Packers? And I'm like, ah. Cowboys or Packers? I mean, Cowboys or Packers. I'm like, oh, they're not.

The Cardinals, they look like they're headed the wrong way. I'll take the Cowboys. Of course, that was stupid. So who have you lost the most money on this year? Because for me, it's between the Cardinals and the Raiders, I think, have cost me the most. I backed off the Cardinals for a minute. Oh, so you're counting if you bet against the Cardinals

and they beat you? I'm saying all year long, who has been your kryptonite team this year? Because I have the Cardinals and the Raiders in the finals. I had the Bucs, and every time they lost, I had them in a money line parlay. So that big Sunday night game when they went to Washington and lost, all the bewildering results.

But I might say, oh, I'm going to say the Chargers. Yeah, the Chargers. Chargers, interesting. Can't get it right. Cannot get them right. And I scream about how bad they are defensively every week, and I seem to have them, except for this week. I seem to bet them. I had the Raiders who we won the first week and that was it.

After that, it flipped. I think we hit on them against the Broncos against them last week, but the Cowboys lost on Thanksgiving or the win on Thanksgiving over the Cowboys. And then today where I watched that whole Colts game and I'm still not sure how the Colts lost. I never was that worried. Even when they're flashing the Wentz one for nine for eight yard stats. I'm like, they got this. It's fine. Carr throws the pick. Colts take the lead. I'm like, here we go. It's Taylor time. So pound the ball. They'll be up 10. We're good. They'll

show pit boss Rich in the sidelines looking sad. We got this. Mariota was in there for a little bit. I'm like, this is great. And then all of a sudden the Raiders had the lead. Right. Well, Wentz also threw a pick. He threw in the quadruple coverage and it banged off that

quartet. I know. That's what I thought I was winning after that happened. He threw after that. What a 45 yard touchdown that bounced off two Raiders. I like this Raiders team. They just won't go away. They're there. They won't give it to the,

like the weird they're nine and seven. They win. They're in Derek Carr. I don't know how he'll be looked at historically. Like, I feel like he's disrespected a lot. Um, but then again,

he can't put two, three great games together. I don't know. If you're a Seahawks fan and they offered you Derek Carr and two number ones and a two for Russell Wilson, I can't say I'm

like, I don't know how much of a difference there is. If Wilson doesn't scramble around anymore, is there really a difference? Wait a minute. I mean, Wilson doesn't have better receivers than Carr. Carr's just dying for Waller. Waller almost came back this week.

He was practicing and then he had COVID. They're like, nope, you're not going to play without practicing after being injured for a month since Thanksgiving. So if they get him back next week, that could be fun. It seems like we have some receivers this year that just can get open whenever they want. Somehow Renfro is one of them.

I don't even think went in our auctions. I don't think anyone even bid a dollar on him. Renfro, Kopp is like that. Chase, anytime the Bengals have a third and whatever, Burrow will just be like, cool, alright, I'll just chuck it downfield for Chase. Can we talk about that?

Are we still on losers? I'm almost done with losers. I had Daniel Snyder with the fans Burrow just be like, cool, all right, I'll just chuck it downfield for Chase. Can we talk about that? Are we still on losers? Oh my God. No, yeah. I'm almost done with losers. I had Daniel Snyder with the fans fell off the road. What's going to be next? Is the scoreboard going to fall on everybody's head? Like what happens? That was crazy. And then Giants fans. I think they're

the official rock bottom winners of 2021, right? You would have said, no, it's got to be the Jaguars, but at least the Jaguars have this Trevor Lawrence where you can talk yourself into. This guy's a franchise guy. We just got to get him a team and a coach and some weapons and we'll be good to go. What do you say to a Giants fan? There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Now, maybe the tunnel goes for miles and miles and miles in Jacksonville. Giants fans are just devastated. There's no way. Joe Judge today, it was a Trumpian statement today.

What did he say? He's like, you know what? There are a lot of players on teams that are no longer with us that say, hey, Joe, I would love to come back.

Like, really? Why? Why would you love to come back? It's a miracle when you guys pick up a first down. I know. Nobody wants to come back. It really was Trump.

It's like, I was talking to a lot of people who want to be back in my cap. Oh, okay. That's all I have for losers except for the AFC North, which we thought had a chance to be the sponsored division. It really went out with a whimper. And the Bengals grabbed it by the balls.

I mean, three weeks ago, I think they were in fourth place. Yeah. And they lost that Chargers game. We were monitoring it. But yeah, they lost that Chargers game. We were monitoring it. But yeah, they just kind of blossomed. I mean, they just ended up with healthy players. Nobody

else. The Ravens don't have their quarterback. Big Ben retired like 10 weeks ago. Cleveland, forget it. We can go back and forth between Keenum and whatever else they put in, like Mullins and Baker. By the way, I don't want to take anything away from Burrow. He has, what, like 970 yards in the last two weeks?

But the Chiefs screwed that up. Why are they blitzing on third and 27, leaving single coverage on this guy who they can't cover the entire game? I'm just double-teaming Chase. Be with everyone else on your team. You have a free safety back there. After he was six for 180 for three TDs, we were early in the third quarter. I'm like, teaming Chase. Like be with everyone else on your team. You have free safety back there. After he was six for 180 for three TDs, we were early in the third quarter.

I'm like, that's it. He's not doing anything else. Right. I'm triple team him if I have to. Third and 27. I know Chiefs fans want to kill the referees, but you didn't score a touchdown in the second half. What are they doing there?

It was another really weird Mahomes game. And I felt like Mahomes was getting his mojo back. Yeah. But it was kind of like Burrow felt like the alpha dog in that game. Not to get too cliche on you, but watching it, if you do nothing, you would have come out of that game going, oh, so Burrow's the best quarterback in the league, right? And Mahomes was right there.

He was on the field the whole time. He'll drop that long pass at the end of the first half that I felt like if he held on to that, even if they had just gotten a field goal, I don't know if the Bengals come back from that. I still don't know. I know it was a good play. The defender got his hand in there, but at some point, you have to secure the ball, right? It seemed like he had it out there

for a one Mississippi count just for any defender to knock it free. It's a bad loss. They can't run the ball. As soon as Edward Solaire is out, all of a sudden they're a different offense. And Zach Taylor is looking good,

like coaching. Like, what the hell was that at the, I was like, they even confused Romo with the minute left and not knowing when to go forward

or call timeout. I thought none of that was intentional. I think all of that was completed confidence. Romo's like, I don't know if he's trying to score.

I was like, no, these are just terrible plays. Oh yeah. He's 100% trying to score. They just don't know if he's trying to score. He was like, no, these are just terrible plays. He's 100% trying to score. They just don't know what to do. And then they're putting him in the shotgun where they don't really have that possession guy who can just get the two yards wide open.

I can't believe they snuck that out. Well, they went on fourth down. I didn't want to kill them for going for it on fourth down. He got lucky that the downs reset to first down. Yes. But if you do go up three with a minute left, that's probably a push. If Fendel said odds on it, it's probably even odds that Butker kicks the field goal a minute later or 48 seconds later after Mahomes brings him down.

So I didn't mind them going for it there. But God, I don't know if we'll ever see anything like that again, the way that time turned over and everything. Well, it's like what we always say. I don't mind going for it if you have a good play, but their plays were terrible. You know, it's like I lost this,

uh, 14 under slash, uh, teaser thing I did because of that Ravens two point when the Rams were, they go up 2019. I had teased it down to 40 and a half. If the Rams get the two point and I win the bet, I win everything. And it was like, I don't know, two and a half to one. And for the first time in my life, a hook and ladder on a two point. Yeah. Needless to say, I got're like, oh, hook and ladder. That was a cool play.

I'm like, there's nothing cool about that. They didn't get the two-point. What was cool? Barely got the hook part. Yeah, that's not good. Oh, my God. What an absolutely idiotic play that was. All right, we got to take a break.

We'll come back, do some awards. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you could still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now.

Just search Movember. All right, awards. Kind of mirrors week 18, and I want to save some time for us to do guest lines, but looks like Rogers has the MVP. It might be the only guy that I don't have money

on out of the five candidates. I did the same. We really botched that one. I think Vrabel locked up coach of the year by Tennessee getting a one seed when they were just missing guys all year. I guess so. That bums me out because I had Belichick all over the place at 17-1. When I

looked Friday, he was sixth or seventh on the list for coach of the year. He's got to be second or third though. Right? Yeah, I would think, but yeah, you're, you're right. Vrabel has done this without Derek Henry and everybody else. And see, that's what I mean. Like you said, the NFC, like, yeah, who are you going to pick a winner? Like maybe the Packers AFC. I think there's a lot of tough outs. You can't. Well, they lost today, but you can't say the Chiefs automatically. You can't say, you know, Titans are only going to get better. You might see Henry next week, even from what I understand. And the Bengals are good.

And I haven't even got to your Patriots or Bills. A lot of tough outs there. And then the Michael Myers Vegas Raiders. Yeah, that's right. By the way, I'm just looking. They're moving that to Sunday night. Raiders charge it. Yes, Raiders charge it

on Sunday night. Well, Tennessee, they get the one seed if they win on Sunday. They get a week off, and then they get Henry back, which seems possibly realistic. I always like, cause this happens a lot in basketball, the broken foot,

like he could be back by so-and-so it's always a month later. Right. So I'm a little dubious, but at the same time, if he only has to play in three games, yeah, I could see him just coming back. Even if he wasn't a hundred percent,

right? Great deal. No, they say in warmups, he's faster than ever. I mean, who knows? My sources. But yeah, that's going to be scary for other teams. By the way, this

Foreman isn't bad either. He has 300 yard games. I like him. Yeah. He's one of those guys, if you research him, was like one of those big high school stud guys who had some issues and now seems like for whatever reason

he's getting his life. He's the real deal. He's the real deal. But I think he's one of those tantalizing guys that get taken in the whatever round. You're like, this guy, well, if he can put it together and I'm with you, I think he looks

he's definitely got a head of steam going downhill a lot of these runs. It's hard to tackle. Chase and Parsons will be our rookies of the year. The only one I don't know is defensive player of the year. No, Chase. I think Max

still gets it. Over Chase? Oh, yeah. Chase had like a month before the last couple games. He had a month where he had like 55 yards receiving. Yeah, like 55 yards receiving. I know, but Mac sucked last week, though. I think he was scoreboard watching. He knew he had to throw for a few touchdowns.

I don't know. He was like minus 500 before Friday. Was he really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Hmm. I thought Chase after today, I thought that would have flipped it

so who's defensive player of the year defensive player or rookie it's a coin flip between Miles Garrett and Micah Parsons or Diggs and I think Donald's up there too

really they're all like plus 275. Kind of a blah of words here. We're saving a lot of time here for Guest Alliance because we have a lot of scenarios to go over. But if the playoffs ended today, which some people

say they should. We played 17 weeks. That might be enough. Tennessee's our one seed in the AFC. We would have KC against the winner of Chargers-Vegas. That would be one game, the 2-7. We would have Cincinnati against Indianapolis, which is a bummer for me because I like both of those teams.

Right. And then Buffalo-New England, the trilogy. But I think what's going to happen is, well, we'll talk about this when we get on the lines, but Burrow's not going to

play against the Browns, right? He can't play because they have nothing to gain. And he got a little dinged up today. Yeah,

so there'll be a four seed and your Patriots are the five. I think that's more likely a first round game. So New England, Cincy. I think that's more likely a first-round game. So New England, Cincy. I think that's what it would be, yeah. That's a good matchup for us.

Do you think they make that Monday night? We have to figure out guess the lines, too, for the playoff weeks. Are they going to make the best game Monday night? It's kind of a disadvantage to be the Monday night game, right? Sure. What if you have to,

so then the teams that play Monday would have to be Sunday the next week. They try to do it, but if the seedings are wacky, then how do you guarantee that? You know, if there's an upset, they really did not get four or five. It'll be that.

Yeah. They just did not consider guess the lines. I didn't give a shit about us. I mean, we might have to do a Sunday night and then like, yeah, I think we'll do a short one Monday.

Yeah. Like a 15 minute Monday night or something. That's fine. I'm around. Um, you're available. Yeah.

NFC playoffs. We have green Bay clinched by. So that one's done. We don't have to worry about that. And then if the playoffs ended today, it would be Tampa, Philly, Rams, San Francisco, and

then you would have to play Arizona again. Yeah, I don't like that because Rams play San Francisco next week too. I don't want a back-to-back game, two games that are back-to-back. Yeah, I don't want Arizona. Who would you rather play any of them?

Can we get Washington again there's no way Washington can get in like the 5-6 Heineke damn I will say this would be the craziest quarterback situation

we've had in the playoffs because if you're just looking at who we'd have in round one and normally we always have like the Heineke to go against or some crappy guy.

Right. This year, it's basically Carr would be the worst. Oh, Wentz. We'd have Wentz. So Carr and Wentz would be our two worst AFC quarterbacks, unless you want to throw in Rookie Mack. And then NFC would be Jalen Hurts and injured Garoppolo

and Irma Sal. But no Mojo's Dak, I think would be the worst three. But there's no like, oh my God, I can't wait to bet against so-and-so. We've been doing this,

what, 14 years? We always have at least one or two or three or four teams that were like, I just can't wait to put money against this team. There's nobody. The best one ever was,

wasn't it your team, Quincy Carter? Yeah. That was my favorite. Quincy Carter started a playoff game. It was just great financially. Okay. Where'd they play? All right. Do you want to do Chargers Raiders first

or last? Let's make that last. We know the Saturday games too. Oh, what are those? The 430 Eastern is Chiefs and Broncos. Chiefs at Broncos. And then 815 Eastern is Cowboys at Eagles. Okay. All right.

So we do guess the lines. Every week we guess the lines. I am leading by one for the season. We have two ties. You're up 872. Yeah. Okay. Saturday last week of the season? Yeah, we have two ties. You're up 8-7-2. Saturday, last

week of the season. Is that something we've had before? Because this season's so long, I can't even remember what we had in the past. It doesn't feel familiar to me. I don't think so either. I feel like this has been week 16 in the past, but not week 17, which is now weekend.

Okay. I broke all these down into categories, and this Chiefs-Broncos game is in the category of AFC seeding on the line. Chiefs can clinch the two seed. They could also put pressure on the Titans because if they win, then the Titans would have to win

against the Texans to clinch the one seed. So I don't know if you saw the Broncos today. I was going to tweet this, but I was too lazy. The Broncos, their offense between Drew Luck and Vic Fangio, it's like watching a 92-year-old person back out of the driveway. It's just super slow, cautious. I don't want to hit stopping. Stop, start, stop, start, stop, start. Oh, oh, oh my God. I hit the mailbox. It's just awful. Drew luck is

awful. That is awful. But eventually the 92 year old gets out of the driveway. Right. So I don't know if it's a good, yeah, maybe not. All right. I'll still work on it. I have the Chiefs. It's in Denver. Yep. I have the Chiefs favored by nine and a half. Oh, come on. You always pretend you don't know when these games are, what the line is. You got it exactly. I said nine.

It's nine and a half. I just knew they weren't going to let us tease it. Well, it's a free three-team teaser game. It's a free one. Saturday, get it out of the way. Then you don't have to worry about two on something. Especially if they, at that point, they can think that they can get the

one seed. They're not losing it. So we did the four-team 13-pointer for million-dollar picks, and then FanDuel boosted it, and it actually won. All four hit. It was like Niners, Bucks, Bills, and then my team. Patriots. Against the Jags, yeah. We covered that one convincingly.ills, and then my team.

Patriots. Against the Jags. Yeah. We covered that one convincingly. Yeah, it was pretty cool. This is looking like it should be thrown in a three-teamer because I cannot see any scenario where the Broncos score even remotely enough points to hang with the Chiefs.

Freebie. Chiefs aren't going to want to go into the playoffs, you know, two-game losing streak. They win this. Okay. And then our other one, they win this. Okay. And then our other one, Cowboys-Eagles. They're seeding on the line.

It's smart that they did this on a Saturday because if the Cowboys win, it'll put some pressure on some other people. And if the Eagles win. Tampa and the Rams, yep. Yeah, and if the Eagles win. I don't think it's really anything for that. Maybe they can get to a six, but I don't know if they know the difference between six or seven or five, right?

Yeah, if you're Philly, it's like, oh, man, if we can just get to a six, dot, dot, dot. Does it matter between Tampa and the Rams and Dallas? Probably not. Coaches typically sit everybody. I think Dallas could sit everybody, too, here. I know it does mean, potentially, they can get a two or a three, but not likely.

Well, what do you care? You win. You're still going to have to go to Green Bay at some point. And that's the thing. We're better on the road. I'm not even sure being home in Jerry World is ideal for us. We're six and two on the road. It all comes down to that horrible

loss to Vegas on Thanksgiving where you win the coin toss and you still lose in overtime. Don't forget. I can't get over it. We lost by a million to Denver, too. The AFC West is not going to come. Yeah, but that one you got your asses kicked. Yeah.

The Raiders one was like, you're home on Thanksgiving. I know. And you got it to overtime. Right. So if you win that, it would have been, you would have had a chance, I think, to lock up the two-seed. Yep. All right Alright we'll do Did you guess it?

I didn't I have the Cowboys favored By 3 In Philadelphia I went hefty here I said 4.5 It's only 2 You won the Saturday games

You want to continue or you can buy out now? Shit. It's going to be one of those weeks. Let's do the three irrelevant games and then we'll take a break. These are the three worst games. These games mean absolutely nothing.

Every year we've tried to figure out how to analyze these and bet these and the reality is you should just ignore them and pretend they're not happening. First one is the Packers at Detroit. Yeah. I don't know. I mean,

I have a line for this, but you're not, you're not going to be able to bet this line now. It's going to be Jordan love who we've seen once this year, who was really bad. Right. It's going to be a lot of, I'm on Ross St. Brown. I'm on St. Rob Brown of I'm on Ross St. Brown

I'm on St. Rob Brown I'm on Ross St. Brown he's your best player why are you pretending not to know he turned out to be one of the seven best fantasy guys of the league in the playoffs I have the Packers by five in Detroit we almost shouldn't count this even though I would have won

I said seven and they're showing eleven they're actually showing it in a few books. 11? Bet Detroit. Well, the other thing is, these teams kind of have to keep losing, right? You're going to mention the Giants in a second. Some of these teams have two picks in the top eight. I don't know.

I will count that because I won. I'll give it to you. There's a line in the game. Yeah. Vikings-Bears is another one that means absolutely nothing. Mm-hmm. And now the Bears have been played off the sports pages by the Bulls. The Rosen with the back-to-back game winners.

They have the number one seed in the East. You know, when we did House of Brazil and I did over-unders they were like division bets and stuff and the Bucs were like something crazy to win their division they were like minus 1500 something like that minus 1200 Milwaukee Bucs

basketball running and the Bulls were like 20-1 to win the division 15-1 like some crazy number the Bulls are like 20-1 to win the division, 15-1, like some crazy number. The Bulls are winning the division by multiple games. It's ridiculous. It would be one of the nuttiest division winners for betting that we've had.

Anyway, they played the Bears off the pages. Matt Nagy's getting fired. Nobody cares. Have you seen this Sean Mannion? He's going to be the quarterback. Are we going to see Sean Mannion next week? Probably not, right? COVID curse coming back? Kurt will be back. Kurt. He's going to be the quarterback. Are we going to see Sean Mannion next week? Probably not, right? COVID curse coming back?

Oh, yeah. Kurt will be back. Kurt. He'll be back. He caught a Kurt. His COVID went way over, right? For an unvaxxed. You would have thought week three, week three and a half.

Oh, yeah. Good job, Kurt. Oh, no. Yeah, we would have had like week eight and a half for him, max. But imagine, though, if he, and I get it, everybody's getting COVID now anyway, so it doesn't matter. Imagine if the Vikings really needed that game tonight i mean i guess they were eliminated anyway but yeah it was sucked what do you have mike sammer looked like he was ready to go home oh man i had the vikings by five and a half against chicago there you went too high i said

four and it's three and a half yeah this is where you're really thriving with the games that mean nothing. I'm good at the meaningless all meaningless shit. Nagy's got to go, right? Even if he ends up seven and ten? They're talking about it? He's gone. Maybe both these coaches. Maybe a loser leaves town.

It's a both losers leave town. Loser leaves the north. Speaking of losers, this one is an all-timer. I think they should ban this from the red zone. Washington Giants. Yeah, we shouldn't. There should be no record

that this game happened. Plus, it's in Giants Stadium. Yeah. And I just can't think of a worse football game. I have I have Washington favored by four.

I went five and a half. It's six and a half. Oh, my God. You won all three of those. They're the worst franchise in sports. You got to give them a half dozen. I was watching a couple episodes of Man in the Arena, the Tom Brady show.

Let it go already. The Giants just really spoiled a couple of the episodes. I didn't enjoy it. It was not fun reliving it. And I hope they're wallowing in their misery. I had blocked out of my mind the second... Like the first Super Bowl, I think the Giants deserved to win.

I actually think they played better. Their front four was dominant and they made a bunch of plays and we couldn't run the ball and they were better than us. The second one, we just gave away. And Gronk was hurt. And we still,

we had a, I think it was, we were up two scores. It was like seven. It was like 17, nine, something like that. And we could not get three more points. Was that the Asante Samuel one?

The one that went? No, that was the first one. This was the one where we just couldn't put them away. And then the Manningham 40-yard down the sideline. We let them score, which I think everybody has forgotten about. And it actually worked. Bradshaw fell in the end zone, and then we couldn't get the Hail Mary.

But I was getting mad all over again. My point is this. I hope you wallow in despair, Giants franchise. I hope that this lasts for years and years. Good luck to all of you. I'm loving it. And Washington, too. It's a shame someone has to win this game.

The Mara family, kudos. Congratulations. Don't take shit from anybody. You run the team the way you want. Doing a great job. All right, we're going to take a break and do the rest of the lines. All right, I separated these into lines. All right.

I separated these into categories. Week 18. AFC playoff spot on the line. Not counting Chargers, Raiders will do that last.

Mm-hmm. Titans, Texans. It's in Houston. Titans will clinch the one seed, amazingly. They will be the first one seed to have

five losses or more in the AFC in a long time. Right. Just it's, I think we go back to like the Raiders in 2002 since that happened. I have the Titans favored by 11 points in Houston. Uh,

you're going to get it. I said 12 and a half. It's 10 and a half. Is that our second teaser game? Yeah, it is. That's it. It is. That's it.

It is. Let me explain. I have Texans under four and a half wins. It'll just crush my soul if I lose that one. They've won two games as double-digit underdogs, the Texans. I don't know that anyone's won three games as double-digit underdogs. Well, we're going to lose that Lions' worst record bet because of that Jared Goff play on like third and 12 against... What team was that?

The Cardinals or the Rams? All these games blend together. Oh, the Vikings. The Vikings, right? The Vikings. Third and 12, and they let the guy just curl right in front of them for the game-winning touchdown. That's going to cost us that bet.

Next one. We did Chiefs-Broncos already. The other one that has some real playoff spot seeding on the line, Colts-Jags. Colts clinch a playoff spot with a win. The Colts can lose this

and still clinch if the Ravens, Chargers, and Steelers all lose. Wait, say it again? If the Raiders, Chargers, and Steelers all lose? Yeah, the Colts can If the Raiders, Chargers, and Steelers all lose? Yeah, the Colts can lose and still make it. We're not going to have to worry about that because the Jaguars are an absolute train wreck.

They stink. They're really bad. It's so funny. I was looking for that information. The Colts have to win and everyone's like, don't even think about it. They're playing the Jaguars. You actually found the number. I did. Jaguars can't win this game. It's in Jacksonville.

I'm going to say Colts by 13. It's too low. I said 16. It's 15 and a half. Is it too low? Carson Wentz is on one of the teams. Which one? He's on the team that's favored by too many points.

Well, that's a lot. I don't know. Do you make that? So now that you can't tease because that's a lot. I don't know. Do you make that? So now that you can't tease because that's too high. You could do the FanDuel 13-pointer. You could do that. Even then, you need a field goal. I think the 13-pointer

needs a name. I got to talk to FanDuel about this. Yeah? Like the number 13 was Will Chamberlain. Call it the Wilt. Yeah, the Wilt. The Marino. 13. The unlucky 13. Yeah, we should know. Or the Voorheilt. The Mamarino. 13. The unlucky 13. Yeah, we should know right away. Or the Voorhees.

The Voorhees of the week. Oh, right. 13-pointer. Put like the Jason Voorhees hockey mask. That'd be pretty good, right? I like it. The Voorhees, yeah. The Voorhees.

Well, this is the Voorhees. Here's another Voorhees. Bills home against the Jets. Bills quench the AFC East with a win. Which would get them to at least the fourth seed. And then if Cincy decides, fuck it and throws away this game,

could get them to a three seed. I'll say this about the Jets. Officially frisky. Sure. I like how they've ended the season. They lost Michael Carter today too, who was running the ball really well for them. Their offensive play calling is fun.

Who's that? LaFleur? He's a LaFleur, too, right? The offensive coordinator. They come up with some fun gadget plays, which made the fourth and one quarterback sneak suck even more. I'm like, oh, come on. Doing fun stuff all game. I'll tell you this.

The brain embarrass thing really bums me out. Yeah. Because we had him. He was like the ultimate scrappy Belichick Patriots receiver pick who was on that, basically got the Julian Edelman scholarship. We moved him in. He

basically probably got Edelman's locker. We tried to turn him into Edelman. And he just wasn't good for us. Then Gunnar took his spot. You were calling him Brandon when his name is Braxton. Braxton. That's what I name is Braxton. Braxton. That's what I meant. Braxton.

Braxton Barrios. It's all right. Utah College has a kick return. It's right up your alley, the Patriots. Oh, I was getting texts about this guy. Yeah, he looked pretty good. You're going to be all right. It's pretty sad that every white guy like that just automatically gets assigned Patriots status.

But we had this Barrios guy. And if you watch the Jets, which don't ask me why, but I've seen a bunch of them the last couple of weeks. Like they incorporate him in all these cool ways. They run bubble screens with him and reverses. And he just seems like he gets touches and he does stuff. I like him. Squick as hell.

Squick as hell. But what do you have for this, London? I have the Bills by 14. I said 14 also. 17. Too bad. Then you think, we were talking about frisky. We thought Atlanta.

I was like, come on, Simmons, do it. Atlanta's plus 460. Let's do it. They're down two points and they're plus 460. Yeah. Late in the second quarter. But if Pitts is in that game, Pitts doesn't get hurt. I think they got a shot.

Allen kept throwing it to him. That was one of those games that got me more excited for Pat's book. Ryan, right? Yeah. No, I'm saying Josh Allen. He kept throwing to the Falcons. Oh, to the Falcons. Yeah.

Yeah, I know. Because last week he was historically great last week. And this week he looked like Josh Allen again. So now I'm like, all right. 50-50 chance we get the guy from today in a playoff game. I think this line's too high, actually. I like the Jets. Plus it could be the Blizzard again.

I think they've had a couple good drafts in a row. There's actual optimism with the Jets fans in my life, which is pretty funny. None of them want to trade for Russell Wilson. All of them are out. They're just like, all right, let's take these two top 10 picks and let's go. Let's build something.

Next one is Pat's Dolphins. Pat's clinched the five seed with a win. They win the AFC East if they win this game and the Bills lose. The Dolphins have nothing to play for. No, for some reason they're out, but the Ravens aren't out.

Yeah, they're out. Dolphins, after not trusting them for seven weeks, Schrager and I, million dollar picks, couldn't find the underdog. All of a sudden got excited about the Dolphins. Somehow two small Dolphins bets. Thinking like,

ah, maybe they're... It was one of those games you knew within six minutes that it wasn't happening. Yep. Couldn't stop anybody. Two deflected passes. He had some call. Oh, is that a fumble? No, it's a forward pass. It was like the three of those. Yeah.

They're a year away at least, I think. Pretty rough. They were the good-bad team. That's how they'll finish the season. I have the Pats favored by five

at home against the Dolphins. Son of a bitch. I said four and a half. It's five and a half. You got it. It's one, two, three. All right, we're tied five-five. My team might be

the good-bad team. You think so? Well, we kill every bad team. That My team might be the good-bad team. You think so? Well, we kill every bad team. That's part of the thing. But we have hung with some good teams. We saw, I guess, 50-10. You think, God, the Bills lost to this team. The Bills lost to the Jaguars.

Is that the most screwed-up result? Lawrence was so bad. Yeah. And I think the Pats defense is finally healthy and there were a lot of signs that this could be a good game for the Pats. You could have run zero times. You could have

passed zero times. You could have chosen one. Are we not going to run today or are we not going to pass today? You would have won either way by 28 points. Yeah. They've no pass rush. Bengals-Browns. This is in Cincy. The Bengals, as you said, they've already clinched the AFC North.

Now, if Casey somehow loses on Saturday, the Bengals would have something to play for because they could get a two seed at that point. Right. That would make me think maybe you strap it on, try to play. Yeah. They could get a one seed if the Titans, Kansas City, and the Patriots all lost. They could clinch the one seed if the Bills win and Tennessee and Kansas City loses. But again, Tennessee's playing the Texans, so that's not happening.

So I think your instinct is right that Casey wins on Saturday and then the Bengals say, all right, we'll take the four seed. We don't care. Well, I don't want to give away a hint, but go ahead. Pick a number because I was off on this. It's in Cincy, right? I have that correct? No, it's in Cleveland. It's in Cleveland?

Yeah. I'm not going to change my pick. I had the Bengals by three. I had to pick them it's cleveland by three so i get oh wow okay and so you know we normally do this so if you think that they're going to sit their players you take chief's money line parlayed with uh right this is right right now the browns could suck so bad that the Bengals' backup beats them. Right?

But that's... If that happens, what the hell are you going to do? Well, the Chiefs' money line is going to be pretty high. But... Mm-hmm. Yeah, you get it back

about to even if you get those two. Yeah, or you could do it two teams, seven point tees, take the Chiefs down to two and a half, take the Browns to plus four. Plus four. That's not bad.

This could be Baker's last Brown start. Wow. I didn't even think of that. Well, they definitely respond. We'll have to see how Big Ben responds. But Russell Hustle and Bustle was gangbusters today. Knowing that it was his last start. Al.

Baker Mayfield's so tough. He's so tough, Al. He's such a tough guy. He gets us through every commercial break, doesn't he? Oh, my God. He's so tough. This guy, he's playing with a harness. He's got seven broken ribs.

His leg's on backwards. This guy is so tough. He's got a torn labrum, and his wife will not stop tweeting. By the way, speaking of NBC, I should apologize for something. Last week I said Breeze was a corpse. You did say that? On the pregame show, I said that, yeah. I should have said cadaver.

NFC seating on the line. We have Seemed insincere. I got to be honest. Go ahead. Rams 49ers. This is a good game. You could argue that

they could have made this the Sunday night game. I thought they might make this Saturday night, but I'm not sure how the politics of this work. Maybe this would be like the big Fox late game, right? Yeah, they must have. Sunday late game. Yep, that's exactly it. So this is in LA.

The Rams clinch the division in a two seed if they win. The Rams clinch the division if the Cards lose. Even if the Rams lose, the Cards lose, even if the Rams lose, the Cards lose, they clinch anyway. The 49ers get in if they win or if the Saints lose. Correct. So odds are both of these teams

will be a division champ and a team that gets in the playoffs. So the Saints have to be a late game also then, right? Yep. New Orleans at Atlanta? Yep. They can't give their competitive advantage to anybody there. All right.

I'm going to say for this game, I'm going to say the Rams by four over the 49ers. All right. I get this one. I said six. It's five and a half. So is that a Jimmy might not play line? I think that's exactly what that is.

Jimmy might not play, and then we'll's exactly what that is. Jimmy might not play. And then we'll figure out if Jimmy's better than Trey. And they have to think any 49ers fan, at least for these next couple of games needs Jimmy G in that lineup. Right. From what I saw today and what I've seen in the limited Trey land stuff before, I think it's potentially a disaster.

He goes against the Rams pass rush. Exactly. I think he could make like five turnovers that game. Yeah. And he'll scramble around, he'll make some, but he's not ready for a game like that. But they have beat him like five in a row, right? The 49ers? Isn't it something? I think they have their number. Alright,

next one that has NFC seeding on the line. Bucks. Panthers. In Tampa. Brady still has some receivers left. The Panthers became a dark horse for the most depressing franchise sweepstakes.

They had this really sad Cam Newton comeback. This new owner who came in gave Matt Rule the seven-year contract. Now that's looking bad. They have no quarterback. They passed out Mac Jones and Justin Fields. Didn't he say it was bad? Didn't he say that was a bad contract? The owner said it, right? It was reported

that he was telling somebody, but who knows? Yeah. Of course he was telling somebody. Last year, everybody was like, every other team should have hired Matt Rule. Now he's out of favor. I wonder if the college guys are going to everyone's going to pump the brakes a little with the college guys, right?

We say this, and then three years later, they all start coming back. Yeah. You just run out of coaches. It all depends on the quarterback. They made a bad bet. I have the Bucs favored by 12 over the Panthers. Alright, I get this. I said 10.5. It's 9.5. Alright, so that's the third one? Well, we don't know. The other risky thing is Tampa plays their asses

off. They're up 10 in the fourth quarter. They scoreboard watch and the Rams are winning. I don't even know if these times match up for my scenario, but then Brady sits, right? And then Sam Darnold runs for two touchdowns in the fourth quarter. You got to be careful with K-team. Saints-Falcons is barely meaning something, but it means something. It's in Atlanta.

Saints win, 49ers lose, and we finally get our shit quarterback in the playoffs. It'll be whoever the same shit quarterback is that day, but we'll get to bet against them. Falcons, this seems like their destiny to win this game and go 8-9 and become the worst 8-9 team in the history of football. Was there over under 8.5? Did we miss that?

We lost that, right? No, 7.5. It was? We could win? Yeah. Yes, sir. You're right. 7.5, yeah.

I have the Saints favored by 3.5 over the Falcons. No, you're going to get it. I said 3. It's 4.5. So the Saints are favored to make the playoffs. The Saints are favored. The Niners are underdogs. Oh, yeah.

Technically, you're right. So if you think the Saints are going to make the playoffs, you want that two seed. The two seed is where it's at. Yeah. So the Rams have real incentive because. Yeah. The Rams win.

They beat the 49ers. They probably play the Saints. Yeah. That's amazing. So the move is Saints, Moneyline, Parlay with the Rams. Mm-hmm. Provided at the same time. Yeah.

And then if you're the 49ers, you just go back to that Tennessee game that you botched on the Thursday night. The Thursday night, a couple weeks ago. Yeah. 10-0. Jimmy G just keeps throwing it to Tennessee. And all of a sudden, Tennessee's clawing back. And then all of a sudden, the Niners are losing.

And yet another game out of us. At least for me, that no game demonstrated more how fickle a football sports fan I am. Like, oh, look at this 49ers team, 17-1, 17-1 to win the conference. What is that? Are you playing me off? No.

Is this the Oscars? My phone was ringing. Well, like, oh, 17-1 to win the conference is the greatest bet. Then at halftime, you're like, I can't wait for the Cowboys to play this team in the playoffs. Yeah, there was a week there where we were so excited that we all had the 17-1

Niners. Yeah, it lasted like two and a half days. By the way, Wife Corner, every Sunday night, we're taping a podcast from like 8.30 to 10. She's calling you? She's FaceTiming me. Bring her on. Maybe she has something to say about Jimmy G.

It's like this was a different kind of Sunday night. All right. Two more games. Who's winning right now between us? I think the two, three, four, five, six, one, two, three, four, five, six, eight, six, me. Two, three. Yep. Oh, because you boned up on those stupid irrelevant games. Yeah.

I'm good. I'm going to win these. All right. These are probably irrelevant. Raven Steelers in Baltimore. The Ravens need a win. And then they need the following teams to lose. The Colts, the Browns,

the Chargers, and the Dolphins. And if all four of those teams, now, if you go through those one at a time, Colts aren't going to lose. That's it. The Colts would be the tough one.

The Browns could lose. Chargers could absolutely lose. Dolphins could lose to the Patriots, obviously. So it would be the Colts would be the tough one. Do the Steelers have a better shot? I mean, they'd be 8-7-1 if they win tomorrow. I mean, they'd obviously have a better record than the Colts. So who would they need?

I didn't figure out the Steelers one. It was too complicated. And we both know the Steelers aren't winning two games in a row. Well, they can't jump the Chargers or Las Vegas, and they can't jump. So it ends up being the same thing. Yeah. I have the Ravens favored by two

and a half over the Steelers. All right. I'm getting this one too. I said four. It's four and a half. Oh, you dick. You've always been good in the last week. Look at this. We're the last one. Two left. Two left, right? What are the two? Oh, you missed Seattle, Arizona. I have that one.

What was the other one? And we didn't do this one. Oh, and then the big one. Yeah, you're right. All right. All right. So that's Cardinals Seahawks. In Arizona, Cardinals can clinch the division with a win and a Rams loss. Yes, right. And if the Rams win, then Arizona is stuck on the five seed.

Arizona is fifth seed either way. But if they win and the Rams lose, they can flip spots. I don't like, you like seeing the, I don't want to see, I don't want to see, I like the divisions getting mixed up. Like I want to see the Bengals play the Patriots.

I don't want to see the Patriots play the Bills. I don't want to see the 49ers play the Rams in the playoffs. Not in the first round. Let it, let it mix up a little. I don't mind it.

I don't mind it. I don't mind it. You like seeing the Red Sox-Yankees in that first round? Yeah. Wouldn't you rather? Yeah? All right. I don't mind it. I'm just excited for six playoff games in round one.

I can't wait. Cardinals, seven and a half over the Seahawks I have. You get that one. I had eight. It's six and a half. All right. Last but not least. Chargers.

At Las Vegas. A Las Vegas team that lost its coach to an email scandal. That had its star deep threat banned from football, basically. They have a pit boss for a head coach. Right. Rich, what's his last name? Rich whatever? Versace, right? Yeah. They have Mark Davis in the luxury box

who just looks like he's out of succession. We forget before all this was the misappropriation by the president who mysteriously resigned, right? Right. Yeah. Like week three three or something it's just out of control that this team is alive you would have thought the combo of the gruden thing and that horrible rug story you would have thought that's it this team goes in a tailspin sure no somehow

they're they're still kicking and now they're home with a chance to go to the playoffs playing this chargers team that i think when they have their best guys, it's pretty good. And it seems like most of their guys, now Eckler's back, Derwin James was back today, Bosa will probably be back for next week. And more importantly, it's an official Loser

Leaves Town match. We always joke about these. This is it. This is a real one. I was looking on YouTube because I was going to play you a couple of Loser Leaves. Really not a lot of good Loser Leave Town stuff from the 80s. I found one with Tommy Rich.

Buzz Sawyer, Tommy Rich? Yeah, that was one of those. But like... That feud lasted like seven and a half years. I think it was like the longest feud in wrestling. What's the most famous one?

Piper? When Piper had to leave town? Was it Valentine? Who? I forgot. Was it Valentine, Piper? Somebody had to leave town if they lost? Yeah, but then they always come back in a mask.

Like Mr. X. But he has exactly the same finishing move as Tommy Rich. Well, the Raiders can still get in even if they lose this game. If the Colts and Steelers lose, and the Steelers lose at least once, and the Colts lose, the Raiders can still somehow get in. But as we covered, I don't think the Colts are losing. So I think the Chargers are going to be favored in this game, Sal. I have Chargers by one and a half.

You've said enough. I had the Raiders favored. I don't know why I did. Figured Las Vegas should like the Raiders. Chargers are favored by three. Makes sense. You lost 9-8. It was a valiant effort, I think.

I lost 9-8 because you won the Packers, Lions, Vikings, Bears, and Washington Giants games. I'm going to bet those. We should have made those worth like half. Let me tell you something. I may have to... I'll give this to you and Schrager on Million Dollar Picks, but you have

to just go against whoever I'm taking this Chargers-Raiders game. I haven't decided yet, but there's just no way I'm winning this. And I'm going to need to win it too because it's going to be a Sunday night game. I have to dig myself out. There's no way I'm winning this game. Before we do parent corner,

Fandle has conference winners up. Oh, they do. I thought we said no futures. I'm just going to read them to you. Okay. Chiefs are plus two 10 bills, plus three 50 Tennessee, who is the one seed is plus 450 hmm Pats plus 750 Colts plus 900 Bengals plus 950

hmm and then in the NFC Packers plus 170 Tampa 4-1 Rams plus 450 Cowboys plus 550 Arizona plus 850 Niners 19-1. You could make a pretty good case

that even though neither of us really like the Packers defense, I don't know if there's the team in the NFC that is the team that could give them trouble. That team like the long drive, tough running back. Who is that team? It's basically the 49ers. And we don't even know if, you know, Jimmy might not even be ready for the playoffs.

They might not even make the playoffs, but the Rams aren't that team. Tampa can't run the ball. Your team doesn't want to run the ball and your quarterback, it turned into a five foot eight guy. And then Arizona can't run the ball either. So who's the team that's going to have

15 play drives on them? I don't see it. But at this point last year, did we say Tampa could run the ball? It didn't really matter because they had Tom Brady. Yeah, we said basically they can control the ball, control these drives with their passing game, right?

The running game was irrelevant. I don't think any of these teams that we just mentioned can do that either. Right. You're probably right. And we have the Niners already. It's 17-1. It's 19-1.

We don't even have a deal on that anymore. Well, how about this? Green Bay, Tennessee is $100. $100 is basically 14-1 odds for that as a Super Bowl matchup. It's pretty good. You get Tennessee in round two probably playing who?

Well, I wanted a map up at the Chiefs road, but okay, we could do it this way. So I don't know. I mean, if there's no upset. Do we think the Chargers... Let's say the Patriots play the Bengals in the 4-5. Yeah, so... Well, think of it this way.

If Indy's the 6th seed and Chargers or Vegas is the 7th seed, do we see either of those teams advancing to round two? Because I do not. Probably not. Probably not. They'd have to beat the Bills and the Chiefs. So Tennessee against

Buffalo or New England. So that's why their odds are like that. Because Vegas is saying if Tennessee plays Buffalo in round two in Tennessee, Buffalo is going to be favored. All right. So let's do the Chiefs. Chiefs would be two. Who'd we say was seven?

So seven would be either Chargers or Vegas. Oh, we see that the third time. Either way, it's a third time. They're beating either of those teams. They'd get to one of those, right? And then the Bills go to them? Well, if we think the Bengals throw away the week 18

and just take the four seed... By the way, if I'm the Bengals, I would rather get the three seed and not play Belichick. I'm sorry, I'm not playing Belichick if I don't have to. Or would you want to? Would you want to play Belichick in round one?

It's Belichick or the Colts? Yeah. I'm getting confused now. Yeah, if I'm Cincy, I clinch the three seed. I can play Indy and Wentz in round one. I'd rather do that. Probably not, but if it means you get a burrow on a bum leg and you want to risk it.

Well, what was his injury? Did he tweak his ankle or his knee? I thought it was a knee, like twisted his knee up. He seemed fine in the post-game interview. By the way, Rodgers minus 400, Brady plus 550. Jonathan Taylor moves back. He was 7-1. He's 14.

So Casey, so we'll give them, let's give them the Chargers. We'll give them the Chargers. Let's say Cincy says, fuck it, we'll get the three seed. Right. So Casey could have Vegas or the Chargers. We'll give them the Chargers. Casey, Chargers. Casey, Chargers. Casey, Cincy.

The rematch. And then they play the winner of Tennessee and Buffalo, New England. Well, that's if Cincy gets three, you're saying. I think they flipped to four. I don't think that makes sense for them. I don't know. Now I've confused myself. I don't know.

I don't think the Chiefs are losing again to the Chargers at home. I think they'll win. It's got to mean something that over and over again, we've seen them in these games not make winning plays in winnable games. The Chiefs. Because he was like, oh, they've shed this. Here they go. They've rounded in the shape.

And then another game where they just couldn't take care of business when it really mattered. That was weird. They shouldn't have. Yeah, they blew that. That surprised me more than anything. I don't know what the money line was for Cincinnati, the live line, but I wouldn't have touched it.

Well, I'll tell you this. To get the 2-1 seeds at 14-1 to make the Super Bowl is a pretty good value. Yeah, why not? But as we said, we're not betting futures because who the fuck knows with COVID stuff. Well, 14- 1 though you could you could forgive yourself of something.

And by the way I think the Titans have all had COVID six times already. So. All right. We're going to take a break and let's do some Parent Corner. All right.

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and home delivery in select markets. Learn more at CarMax.com. CarMax, car buying reimagined. All right, Cuz, you're on the clock. I don't even really have anything specific Other than like all these kids turn into Major major assholes after Christmas They just do

And it might be a combination of I'm looking for some Gratitude after Christmas Like alright you got all these gifts I think it's a combination of a few things I'm looking for more gratitude than I should Like they should be happy they got all these crazy gifts and everything they asked for. That's a B they're on Christmas break. So we're, I see much more of them than much higher exposure,

right? Yeah. More exposure B and C I think they are actually assholes. Like I think they are actually there. They, they know it. They played us. They're like, yep, Santa, whatever. I don't care if I believe, or if I don't care if I believe or if I don't, I got it. And you can threaten all you want, but you're not taking it back. So if I ask somebody to shut the light downstairs or my wife asked for like a cup of water and then the eight year old's like, I gave you a cup of water yesterday. I don't want to hear it again. Get your own. I'm like, whoa, holy shit. I will throw that iPad in the street. What are you talking about?

But I don't know if there's a way to combat this or convince them that Christmas isn't over until like February or something, but I don't like it one bit. You get that too? Elf in the shelf the week after, not the same kind of potency. Maybe he has a brother that he sends. Listen, you hit a point with your kids where it's really hard to threaten them.

Yeah. You're basically just taking devices away. That's the only thing that seems... Our generation, we were actually scared. My dad would do the finger. My parents didn't hit, but my dad would jam his finger into my cheek. Yeah. And it kind of was paralyzing.

I'd actually rather he would have just hit me. Right. But I was always afraid of the finger. I'm sure your dad, I know I'm sure he was certainly willing to probably throw a smack every once in a while. Yeah. But there was a fear factor that I don't think kids have now.

Well, now you have the fear factor as a parent, because, um, if you make a threat that you're not willing to follow through on your kids to say, hey, I'm going to go to Deadspin with this story. And then what are you going to do? It's like a whole different ballgame. It's like nothing like when we were growing up.

Right to the sports plugs. Yeah. My parent corner. So on Thursday, I talked about COVID with Derek Thompson for like 40 minutes talking about Omicron and kind of the media blowing stuff out of proportion in a lot of different ways. Well, two hours later, I get a call from my wife. She has COVID. Oh no, really? Now she's boosted, had the whole thing. But so we had a whole COVID weekend. We get tested. We don't have it. I don't have it. My kids don't have it, but somehow my wife has it. So she disappears. She's off in hiding for

three days. This is the wife that tried to FaceTime you maybe with something serious about 15 minutes ago. You didn't answer. Well, she, if she FaceTimed the second time, I would have been worried. Stupid ass. All right. Go ahead. Keep going. She's fine. She was telling me how great she felt today. All right. No, she actually, she thought she had like a little bit of a sinus infection and all of a sudden, she says, I'm going to get tested just to make sure

because we're going to do something for Nears. And sure enough, she has it. So none of us have it. So now I'm with the kids all weekend. And it's just us. And Ben and I watch all 10 episodes of Cobra Kai on New Year's Eve. Oh, man. We did all of it.

We just, we banged it out. Give me your letter. Four and a half hours. So, Terry Silver comes back. Thomas Ian Griffith from KK3. One of the worst characters of all time. The billionaire who decided to give up his billionaire life to

destroy Daniel-san for reasons that are made unclear. Alludes to it in Cobra Kai this season. Of course. About I don't know what I was doing in the 80s. I was doing a lot of cocaine. So he played the cocaine card with that. But it's fine. I really enjoy it because my

son enjoys it. Oh, you don't like it? I was excited to settle in. it's fine. I, I really enjoy it because my son enjoys it, but, uh, Oh, you don't like it. I'm, I'm, I was excited to settle in. No,

it's, it's fine. I enjoyed it. It's just, I really hate the LaRusso family. It's funny. Cause you watch karate kid and like Daniel is the hero of the story. You're rooting for him.

He's this underdog. He's the rock at high school. By season four of Cobra Kai, he's the worst character on the show. Every scene with him is just a complete train wreck. And it's like, you know, once upon a time, I remember Mr. Miyagi told me dot, dot, dot. And it's like, shut the fuck up. This guy you knew a hundred years ago. This is all you talk about. This guy, all this wisdom he had. He's also terrible at karate. Terrible. I mean, what is he? In his late 50s? What do you tell him? He's got

that one indefensible move. There's this one scene in this where he takes on five hockey players and somehow wipes out all of them. It's like, there's no way. They're having to do these quick cuts. So then his daughter on the show, who we're supposed to believe is this budding karate like, there's no way. And they're having to do these quick cuts because to hide. So then his daughter on the show who we're supposed to believe is this, you know, budding karate champion. She's worse than he is. It's like, how are the two stars of the show are

the worst people at karate of anyone on the show? So you're saying they're not, they're not doing any training in between seasons. No, no. But it's just every plot with them. I like his wife, but every plot with, they tried to get his son more involved this year. And it's just Every plot with them I like his wife But every plot They tried to get his son More involved this year And it's just the most Unlikable family So I don't know if it's

Intentional or unintentional But I love Johnny Lawrence I like Miguel I like the new character They brought in this year Kenny Little Basically is like the

The black version of Daniel This little kid That's getting bullied And gets mad And they basically relive the Karate Kid movie plot. But everybody is fun on the show except for the family that is supposed

to be the hero family. And every time they're in it, you're like, oh my god, another LaRusso scene. He's annoying. And it occurred to me as I sat through three hours of Spider-Man that we missed by a few years of him being a Spider-Man macho. Because if you look at Andrew Garfield and Tobey

McGuire and almost exact same mannerisms and everything. Oh boy, we were so close. I don't know if the black hair would have thrown it off a little bit or what, but yeah, we just missed out on that. I also think with Cobra Kai, they've done four seasons now of 10 episodes each. And they're long. They're like 35, 40 minute episodes. And they do these heel turns and good guy turns.

And I would take a year off and then come back. Well, this is it. They're running out of, they can't mimic any more movies, right? Because after the, right? They could do the Hilary Swank movie. Oh, I got that. Yeah, but that's not his.

Yeah, I guess so. It's tough. Well, I'm glad you got through them all. Yeah, so that was fun. But then, you know, it was a lot calmer without mom. My kids mentioned that. They're like, it is a lot calmer. I'm like, what does that mean? She, cause she does everything and then complains when you guys

don't do anything. It's not calmer. It's just that nobody's, nobody's yelling at you guys. Yeah, exactly. That doesn't make it more calm. It's like you're not being held accountable. There's no accountability without mom. Poor mom. Someone check on mom. She won't even. Well, if she had FaceTimeimed the second time i would have been worried i know um it feels like all of us are going to get covid though i think so too i read that it's going to peak in the states in late january and so yeah within the next three weeks you're very very lucky if you haven't had it this round well explain to me how i didn't get it when

i'm with my wife for the last two weeks. I don't know. We're traveling everywhere together. We sat on an airplane next to each other. We sleep in the same bed and she was coughing a couple of times. I'm like, stop COVID coughing on me. She's like, I don't have COVID. I got tested. She got tested on the 23rd, didn't have it, got tested on the 30th and she had it. It's bizarre. You may still test positive. You might get it like in a day. I think I got it during this podcast with the three irrelevant sections. But yeah, it was nice to spend time with the kids. But then the other thing is, so the kids had to quarantine all weekend because we didn't know if we had it.

And then they're like, oh my God. And I'm kind of like, no, it'll be fun. We'll hang out. And my daughter's just like, no, it's not going to be fun. You know, it'd be fun like being with my friends. Right. And that's when you realize like, oh, it's not going to be fun. It would be fun being with my friends. That's when you realize, oh yeah, I'm that guy now. I'm at the ATM slash

driver to you, but in terms of us hanging out, that ship's kind of sailed most of the time. Well, what are you going to do? I don't know. What am I going to do? I should have more kids. You had the right idea. You're the third kid. You're the third one. You should have a fourth one. No, I don't have it in me.

But tell the kids if they don't shape up, you're going to be overrun with dogs. You can get six or worse like Kyle. You're going to have a dozen rabbits, and that'll be terrible. Kyle. I mean, Kyle's the least scared of Omicron of anyone out there. Is that right? Texting. He's going to the frolic room,

testing, texting from the frolic room. Wow. That works. That works. You're tweeting like shots of people at a bar. Kyle, what's going on with you?

What do you want to know, man? He's still mad. You screwed him out of fact. You fucked me over. What do you want to know? I'm going to pull an Antonio Brown. Just be out.

Kyle's had it. He's had it with quarantines and everything. He's ready to live his life again. This wasn't what he was meant to do. He was meant to go out and be a free spirit in his 20s. Kyle, you're going to have a fun 2022, Kyle. Yeah, I'm getting whatever they tell me to get, and I'm going wherever they say I can go.

What does that mean? I don't even know what that meant. You're getting whatever you get. to get and I'm going wherever they say I can go. What does that mean? I don't even know what that meant. You're getting whatever you get. Wow, we got to end on that. That's tough to top. All right, that's it for Parent Corner and Uncle Corner. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by CarMax. The CarMax Love Your Car Guarantee

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Car buying. Reimagine. All right. Sal, hopefully there's a next week. I might have home a car. I might have gotten it. You're going to be fine. There's this thing.

It's not a... I'm like, in the calls, we're like, it. You're going to be fine. There's this thing. It's not a... I'm like, in the calls, we're like, Bill, you're going to be fine. Listen, she doesn't have a sinus problem. She has a...

It was a cocaine addiction. That's what she was trying to call you about. That's fine. And Kyle's going to go where they tell him to go and he's going to do what they tell him to do. Go to extrapoints.com. Listen, against all all odds minus three extra points all your

sports gambling needs will be taken care of we're all tied into fandle let's try to take some money from them this week i i've hit it i've hit seven of the 16 weeks i've hit the boost yeah that's plus money at what point did they send the highlight of my year would be that getting a text from them be like hey can you cool it down maybe do like a harder to like you know like

almost like when they turn the camera on at the blackjack table yeah do a little too well I want them to turn the camera on right

do it FanDuel alright Sal when I see you next week it will be after Chargers Raiders on a Sunday night, and we'll have six glorious, beautiful playoff games to discuss. As always, good job by you. Good job by you, buddy.

That's it for the podcast. I will see you on Tuesday on This Feed. Thanks to Kyle Creighton for producing. Thanks to Sal. Don't forget about new rewatchables coming on Monday. Limitless, check it out. See you on This speed on Tuesday. On the wayside On the first I never said

I don't have to ever say