The Bill Simmons Podcast - Are Baltimore and Cincy Screwed? Plus, Underdog Weekend, the 0-2 Curse, a Bryce Benching, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Texans' win in what seemed like an endless 'SNF' matchup with the Bears (1:19); all the 0-2 teams; some surprising upsets, including 49ers-Vikings, Lions-Buccaneers, and Cowboys-Saints (4:34); the Jets escaping the Titans; and the Seahawks' overtime win in Foxborough (42:22). Then Bill makes some statements after the Week 2 slate and asks Sal if they're "definitely" or "maybe" true (47:49). Finally, they guess the lines for NFL Week 3 (1:03:33) before closing the show with Parent Corner (1:25:02). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up, week two NFL, pretty much in the books. Week three, guess the lines, coming. Sal's next. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too. Miller Lite keeps it simple for us. Undebatable quality, great taste.

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This episode is brought to you by Prime Video. You know me, I can't go a day without sports. I really can't. And now Monday nights are all about hockey. That's right. There's a new exclusive home for streaming Monday night NHL hockey. And it's on prime all season long. Watch prime Monday night hockey deliver unreal plays. The biggest goals can't miss moments. Matthews, McDavid, Crosby, the NHL's best. They're all on prime prime Monday night hockey. It's on Monday. It's on Prime. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. We have a new rewatch of us coming for you on Monday night.

It's a movie you know very well. It has come out in the last 15 years. Those are your hints. I'm dumping the Larry David role. You know what? He dumped the Jets. I'm dumping the Larry David role. We're going back to just dropping the movies.

We're doing bangers the rest of the year. I told you, you've seen all the movies we're going to do. So we have a good one coming on Monday. It is relatively modern. You'll be excited about it. You can watch it as well on the Ring of Movies

YouTube channel. You can watch all the clips and everything else from this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel where we're going live every Sunday night

with Cousin Sal. We're doing Guest Alliance. We're rehashing all the stuff that happened during the week. We're about to all the stuff that happened during the week. We're about to do that right now. But I think we have to bring in my friends who were just playing at Fenway Park tonight.

And I wish I had gone. Pearl Jam! We made it, Sal. We're here. The Bears-Pexans game is finally over. We're live on YouTube doing the Guess the Lions BS podcast. And that game started at 5.15. What the hell was that? What happened?

Why did they let that go so long? They can call that game, can't they? What was the game earlier today that was like two hours and 40 minutes? It was over at I don't know. It was at Cardinals Rams. One of those games was super fast. Houston, Chicago quickly.

Is Caleb going to survive until November with that offensive line? That was my big takeaway. I fear for this guy's life. Really bad. Really, really bad for them. I feel like they won time of possession somehow. I thought their drives were like 40 seconds long, like they won time of possession somehow. I thought their drives were like 40 seconds long,

but they won time of possession. And I don't even know if it's the offensive line because they just don't want to pick up that blitzer from the alley. Whoever it is, just gets them full on. They're like, oh, we have five blockers. You have six guys. I guess Caleb's going to get hit again. Yeah, here comes another Roman Reigns spear.

Here's another one and another. They Roman Reigns sphere, a spear. Here's another one and another, like they get them. It can't be cleaner. Yeah. I didn't want to start with that game, but that was one takeaway. And the other was just,

is there a good AFC team? And I know people say, Oh, Casey's two. No, they're going for a three P, but, uh,

watching that chiefs Bengals game, which we're going to get into. I did not leave that game going, man, the chiefs are humming on all cylinders. You go through the AFC, Buffalo probably looked the best out of anybody on Thursday night, right? But they're already banged up on defense.

Pittsburgh's winning the AFC North right now. AFC South, we just watched Houston. They made a million mistakes. They couldn't even get to 20 points. I don't know what their play calling was doing. And you go on down the line, and it's like, it just, the AFC feels wide open, right? I'm with you. And even the Texans at 2-0

showed, like, they should have put that game, I don't want to go back to this game now, but they should have had 30. Really, I don't know if it's the Bears' defense, but yeah, I feel like we're like 13 weeks into the season already. Like, you know, like, maybe week two is just nonsense and this is what we

get for overreacting and that's why none of us made any money. We did the YouTube show today and all we talked about was overreactions and watch out for this, watch out for that. And yet, underdogs were 10-4 heading into tonight's game. And then the Bears

was that a cover or was that not a cover? What was that? A push? No, that was six. Or was that an official cover? I see my sheet here. Let me go.

Hold on. I got it. Hold on. Let's see. I just, I just, I just saw Biden's son on that. What was going on?

That was not a cover. That's not a cover. I'm sending this to Ukraine. You're right. No, not a cover. I think only one cover. I'm sending this to Ukraine. You're right. No, not a cover. I think only one four-point favorite or higher covered today. Okay. So the underdogs were 11-4 today.

Eight of those won outright. And there were landmines left and right. I jumped on two of them. House was trying to talk me out of Malik Willis going against him on million-dollar picks. The Jacksonville one, that was another one. We'll talk about all those. We're going to start with the 0-2 teams, though. So I read this.

Since 2021, we've had 21 0-2 teams with the 17-game schedule. Do you know how many of those teams made the playoffs? 21 teams. 21 0-2 teams. So in 2021, 22, and 23. We had 21-0 in two teams. I'm going to say all of them. I'm not good at this game. No, no, no. I'll say

three. Is it three or four? Is it three? Okay. All right. Only four of them went 9-8 or better. So, granted, small sample size, but also not that small. 22, Cincy, and 23 houston won their divisions the 21 colts made the playoffs one other team went nine and eight everybody else was under

oh and two is a little bit more of a death sentence than i think uh people realize because the season's so long you just feel like there's a million twists and turns you can do whatever uh cincinnati we'll start with them. They're on to. Giveaway loss to the Pats. I still don't know. The Pats score 16 and somehow control the game and beat them. And then,

just a choke job today. Right? A game they should have won. The Burrow fumble TD. Jamar Chase gets the 15-yard penalty to basically knock them out so they have to kick field goal

because he can't stop yelling at the ref. And then the coup de grace, fourth and 16, they rush three. That's a great idea. Let's give Mahomes eight seconds and then pass interfere on the fourth and 16 pass. The rookie hit him early. The Chiefs end up winning.

It was like the moment they had the three guys, I was like, oh my God, they've never seen Mah homes play in their lives. And somehow the chiefs steal another one. The chiefs could be Owen too. I know there's a couple of those teams that could be Owen too. And, uh, well, first of all, can we just tell everyone to pump the brakes with the, Oh, the refs give the chiefs a game. They did it again. Like that was the right call, you know, it was a right call.

I'm not allowed to do that. Yeah. But they were bailed out. It's like, all right. It's like saying, oh, that cop is making tons of money for the local government. It's like, yeah, but the guy was doing 65 and a 30. You have to call that. That's stupid. The borough fumble was a little weird. I find it hard to believe we didn't have a good

angle of the borough fumble with the 45 cameras we have. I guess it's got to call us in. I have no idea if that was a fumble with the 45 cameras we have. I was like, I guess it's got to call us in. I have no idea if that was a fumble or not. Yeah. You just see where he strips them, tries to strip them violently.

You don't actually really see if the ball comes out, but so from the positives, the Bengals talk shit all week. I was terrified of this game. I, this was one of the few possible teases I completely stayed away from burrow look better. I thought they should have won the game.

They were right there. He had more time to throw, which I thought was good. They still didn't have T. Higgins in this game. They're to not make the playoffs plus 110. So basically even money. They are not even close to being a cross off to me. I thought those were two stupid losses. No, you can't cross them off.

I think because, mainly because, what's the seven seed in the AFC? They're one and one, right? What do you mean? The seven seed would be one and one. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. They're only a game out of the seven seed right now. And they're one of the three teams that did just what you said.

They came back from 0-2 and made the playoffs. So there's a little bit of pedigree, I guess, if you will. But yeah, I don't know. He's thrown to the tight end. I think he needs T. Higgins more. I think they threw to the tight end like 16 times or something crazy. He was buried on the pads last year. Yeah, yeah.

So they need more. I guess we saw Lou Anarumo's defense for most of the game until they let up in the fourth. But it was kind of a classic Chiefs game, if you ask me. Well, I mean, we could talk about them quick. It's stupid. You just feel like they're going to steal these games if it's late. It's very similar to the mid-2000s Pats.

And, you know, there's been basketball teams like that. They're like, oh, man, don't let these guys hang around. steal these games if it's late. It's very similar to the mid-2000s Pats. There's been basketball teams like that. They're like, oh man, don't let these guys hang around. They're going to make two plays. It's probably the only team in the league where it's fourth and 16. They're like, oh my God, they're going to get this. It's going to happen. But I will say on the Chiefs, I know we have more on two teams to get to, but on the Chiefs, the no Hollywood Brown looks like he's out for the year. Kelsey is, it's playing out exactly how we thought he's,

I don't want to say irrelevant, but not really that involved either. And it just seems like they have him in the garage with one of those like fancy covers over him. They're not using them that much, but from an explosive standpoint, Rice made one big play and that was really it. They don't really seem to have a backup running back.

I know they have Perrine as the third down guy, but they're bringing in Carson Steele with two minutes left, and both of these wins they had this rookie who was like, really, this is your backup running back in a big moment? So I don't know. They seem a little thin, but they're the Chiefs, and they're going to go 13-4. They rely on that guy with the crazy hair a lot,

the running back. Yeah, and I think the Czechos banged up too. They had to, right? So he was 19 for 19. So if he's hurt, that's another thing. And I think people are banking on Xavier Worthy being like, oh, he's going to be a threat. He's going to be a go-to guy. He might have like three or four touches a game, and you have to hope that one of them explodes, you know yeah so I don't know they have some other tight ends they just extended one of them but I think the thing you

could say about the Chiefs is they're the team to beat right that's the best thing you could kind of say about this thing well nobody well nobody's taken the spot yet but right but that goes back to the AFC January yeah yeah the team to beat well I'm not the spot yet, but... Right. But that goes back to the AFC conversation. But us in January. Yeah. Yeah.

The other team would be. Well, I'm not... It's stupid to cross off an 0-2 team, but I wouldn't. I'm not ready to panic about the Bengals. Last year felt worse. Mm-hmm.

Last year was like, oh, man, this... Like, I don't know. And then it just seemed like they had year-from-hell potential. This year, I think they'd probably play out of this.

All right, Baltimore's our next one. That's another team that's two plays away from being 2-0. Lamar did make the comment after the game about how they have to get their mojo back. The big concern for me, so Vegas beats them. Vegas is historically bad running the ball this year.

They're 17 for 27 today. Their offense was 4.3 yards per play. The game felt over for two plus hours. And then all of a sudden it's like, oh no, they're up 10. No, no, here we go. Vegas driving again. And then all of a sudden the game was tied.

And they're like, all right, Lamar, just can you just end this? Nope. Then Vegas had the ball again. Wait, is Vegas going to win this? And then all of a sudden the game was over. What the hell happened? I'm looking at the numbers. They should have put this game away. This is what they

did last year. Remember at home, they were beating teams by 30 and 40. They were putting them away, especially a team like the Raiders, who I know are a knuckleball squad that you just want to strangle. But they had 150 yards rushing, 84 from Henryry it all added up like that they should have um scored in the 30s so i don't know why they ended up with 23 and uh

we're relying on tucker kicks still right and he missed a long one that's their fourth double digit lead in the fourth quarter that they've blown since 2022 the thing that concerned me they had a bunch of penalties too they had 11. The thing that concerned me, they had a bunch of penalties too. They had 11 penalties. The thing that concerned me though, it just seems like you could move the ball down the field on them when you need to, right? Like Bowers, who was awesome,

and Adams had 20 catches today. Minshew was like 80%. And it just felt like every time he needed to throw for seven, eight yards, once they realized they couldn't run the ball, they could do it. And I don't know if that gets better for the Ravens. So for them, for no playoffs was plus 104. So it's pretty in the neighbor of the, uh, the Bengals. Um, I gotta say, like I put them in a couple of teases today. I was like, Baltimore's not going on to their home. They're playing Gardner Minshew. Like this is take care of business. This is the only second own to start they've had with Harbaugh in 16 years. I have more concerns for them than the Bengals.

We talked about it all week that we said they're the, no way this team's going on to team. Right. And so where, where the Bengals screwed everybody on the eliminator pick last week, this was the Ravens. Like, we could make it. You can have a perfect eliminator pick just like picking good teams to win every week, and they don't.

They just come up short. I don't know what's going on with this league. I don't even really know how to explain the Vegas comeback, but I will say Bowers was awesome. He just has it. Like, he's one of those. He's like a video game tight end. They He just has it. He's one of those.

He's like a video game tight end. They throw him in the middle. It's almost like he's looking for dudes to run into so he can bounce off this guy, this guy, carry this guy. Tap B, he'll spin. I think he actually scored. They didn't give him the touchdown, but I actually think he scored on that one.

So their next three. Here's another reason I'm a little more bullish on Cincy, although their schedule is not a walk in the park either their next three Baltimore at Dallas next week home Buffalo

at Cincinnati yeah this was one of the stretches yep to win the division they are still favored plus 185

on FanDuel Cincy's plus 190. Pittsburgh's plus 360. They're 2-0. And your Cleveland Browns, plus 450. So nobody in that division is, basically, it's 2-1 and up if you want to bet on that division. Remember when we tried to pick first through fourth in this division? I was like, no, good luck, man.

You can give me 30 guesses. I'm not going to get it. What do you think that Baltimore offense is missing? Like I said, I was looking at those numbers. What would you want out of Henry? Like, hey, if you can get us 18 for 84. I was watching it going, oh, yeah. I don't even know.

They have power running. They have good tight ends. Flowers is good. It seems like they have speed with Aguilar. Like, I don't know what I would add. We were saying their best offensive play through all of it is, though, when their offensive line breaks down and Lamar just takes off up the middle, right?

And so that's maybe why they're not so hot in the red zone because you lose that if he doesn't have timeouts or doesn't have the end zone to back him up. So I don't know, though. I really am more concerned about their defense. I think that initial point that you can move on him. I don't know, though. I really am more concerned about their defense. I think that initial point that you can move on them. I don't know if it's a Patrick Queen thing or what, but

they need to... It's one thing to say if it's Patrick Mahomes doing it, but when Gardner Minshew, it's not like good quarterbacks are going in there and embarrassing them. A team that basically said, we can't run the ball. We're just going to throw it every down.

The Ravens still let them throw. I have real concerns about them. I'm slightly more concerned about them than Cincinnati. Next one is Jacksonville. Now, their odds are a little different. What do you think their odds are not to make the playoffs? To not? Okay, so the Texans are 2-0.

Everybody else in that division is 0-2. To not is minus 180 or is it higher? Minus 355. Wow. Vegas is like, we've seen enough. This is the worst coach team in the league. We're out. This is the dumbest team in the league. It's enraged

me that I bet on them today. Especially coming back after last week against Miami. And they took the stupid up seven notches in this game. Sal, they had, first of all, Cleveland was two for 14 on third down and one. Cleveland had 13 penalties for a hundred yards and still won. Jacksonville had first and goal from the two, settled for a field goal. First and goal from the 19 inside the rent zone, field goal miss. First and goal from the 19 inside the rent zone, field goal miss. First and goal from the six, touchdown. Second and goal from the two, went backwards, kicked a

field goal. This is the stupidest team you've ever watched. And it's like, hey, Trevor Lawrence, is there a guy you can overthrow in a huge moment? Oh, there he is. Try to throw it right over his head. I just can't stand them. I really can't. I'm never betting on them again. And I probably will next week. They're brutal. I picked them to win the division.

I'm ashamed of myself. And I send you, I'm going to do this every week. I send you and Hench and House the first, those 1 p.m. games, the first half stats for the quarterbacks.

I mean, they're miserable. Everybody's at 40 yards. Everyone's at 46 yards. But. games, the first half stats for the quarterbacks. I mean, they're miserable. Everybody's at 40 yards. Everyone's at 46 yards. But this one, Trevor Lawrence had 16 yards and Jack Fox, the punter for Detroit had 17 yards. What kind of odds could you have gotten on Jack Fox over Trevor Lawrence at halftime?

Trevor Lawrence was so bad for the first two hours of this game that I almost couldn't believe it. Because I have him in two fantasy leagues. I bet him to throw for 4,000 yards. He was just sailing the ball all over the place. And then Thomas, who I think gets like three targets a game, who every time they throw to him,

it's the most exciting play on any TV, right? It's these 50 yards downfield, jumping up. And then it's like, all right, put that guy on ice for another hour. I don't understand how they're 0-2. I actually thought they should have won both of those games. I don't understand how you don't beat Deshaun Watson. And Deshaun,

to his credit, was better than last week. He definitely hung in there. He took off. Did you see how he tried to blow it at the end, though, with the clock management? He sure did. Snapping the ball with nine left on the play clock, and then does that roll out on third down where you're supposed to just take a knee, and then he has a defender in his face,

and he chucks it into his face mask, so that stopped the clock. I was like, how is Jacksonville getting the ball back with 137 left, let alone any time? And yeah, they almost blew it. Jacksonville are a classic. They get the ball back. It's that they're on like the three yard line.

They're down three. It's like less than four minutes left, five minutes left, whatever it was. And it's just like, they're so fucking stupid. Lawrence is probably going to get sacked for his safety. Like whatever play they're running here, it's probably a play where he's going to hold the ball and get sacked for a

safety. You're just watching it go. And I, you can see it coming off the highway. And then of course he did like no quick pass, no, like just quick run up the middle to buy five yards, no send Thomas down the sidelines and just chuck it and see if he can run

under it, get a PI. No, it was the Trevor Lawrence. I'm going to take three steps back. My first read isn't open. Then I'm just going to curl right into a sack. They are so stupid.

How is this always the worst coach team? You know what I sense in your voice? More than just, you lost money and I lost money. No, I know. But I think you're also disappointed in Trevor Lawrence. I am. I think we have to be. We have to be disappointed in the quarterbacks

who were once deemed good and God knows, maybe even people sending them to the Hall of Fame and now because they're so bad as a bunch, these quarterbacks, we can't lose any good ones

or mid-range ones even. So yeah, I'm with you. It's disgusting. Even he sucked and he sucked and he sucked and then he made

this awesome scramble and he ran downfield like a gazelle for like 40 yards. And it looked like he was going to run in the end zone and like put his shoulder down and just bowl his way in. And instead he did like this weird tiptoe thing, got tackled on the two, and then they went backwards. And I don't even think they scored.

They might have settled for a field goal. But that's just something's missing with that guy. They're so weird. And we thought this was going to be the year he blossomed. And instead, it's like now I have more doubts than ever with them. Anyway, no playoffs for them. Minus

355. I'm not going the other way because I already have enough on them, but that is high. So the Rams, they're our fourth 0-2 team. Their entire team is now in the hospital. I don't know if you realize Cooper cup. Couldn't make it two weeks.

They got the Arizona game was over. People didn't even realize it was on yet. It was the four or five game. We were like, Hey, I think there's a game on and you go and it was already seven, nothing. And,

uh, Arizona ran all over them. No playoffs for them., Sal. Minus 600. Next three games, San Francisco home, at Chicago, home Green Bay. I don't know if this is our year from hell

team yet, but this is the heavy favorite that this is the year from hell team. So we had like nine guys go down already. It's funny. We went back to back Jacksonville and the Rams because those are my, I'd pick both of them to win the division. Really, you should do this podcast with somebody else, anybody else.

Just grab Ben Simmons. Like, I don't know why I have the Rams in there. Which Ben Simmons? My son or the, have them alternate. The entire basketball party, either of them? Yeah. Either one will work.

But yeah, I mean, because I love this game for the Rams. I bought into the trend. What is he? 13 and two? Sean McVay against him. And by the way, we stayed away from the trend

Thursday night. Oh, the Bills, they own Josh Allen on Thursday nights. I'm like, damn it. I'm not doing this again. I'm taking, I'm going with the trend.

The Rams are better. The Cardinals have no defense. Look at this. Kylo Murray's already disarray his relationship with Marvin Harrison. What a trick that was, huh? What a trick that was. Like, hey, it's not my fault if he can't catch the ball.

I'm like, oh, he's done with him. And like you said, before anyone knew the game was on, he had two touchdowns. It was 14-0. But I think you're right about the Rams being done. Harrison, every single play he made was completely different than the previous awesome play he made. He basically played the hits. It was like a YouTube video. I think the Rams are done.

Cup going down was kind of the final straw. Now they don't have Cup or Puka heading into the year. And I ended up putting them in the playoffs, but my fear was they were so top heavy. It's like, fuck man. If they lose one receiver, if Stafford goes out three weeks like you just start going down there's like an eight-man team yeah i don't have enough confidence in tutu atwell to uh to carry them for the next 15 weeks we have a couple more oh and tt oh and two teams left but let's uh take a quick break coming off a great week two fan duel has given you another chance to start the season with a big return on America's number one sports book. You will get started with $200 in bonus bets guaranteed

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I forgot we were on YouTube. I just kind of paused for... Yeah, we can't do that. Sorry, people watching YouTube. This is what usually moon me. This is when I usually do cocaine. I forgot. I was going to do like three bumps.

All right. Next, I want to team Indianapolis, who gave up 473 yards rushing over the last two weeks. They lost to Malik Willis today, who I don't think attempted a pass that traveled in the air for more than like five yards. He was 12 for 14, 122 yards. He had six carries for 41 rushing yards.

He had to see it to believe it. Gus Bradley, who a lot of the diehard football people have been saying is terrible for a while. This was his masterpiece. He was so bad. They were third and ones with Malik Willis as the quarterback where they had like five guys on the line and two linebackers, like, like he was going to throw deep. I was just speechless. I couldn't believe how dumb that I would have put all 11 guys on the line. All they were doing was exactly what everyone said all week, including on most of our gambling shows is, Hey, LaFleur, it's going to run a bunch of gimmicks, quick passes, little mini reverses, little pitches, and, you know,

basically like act like a high school football team. And Gus Bradley is just in his base defense. That guy shouldn't last a week. It made so little sense that I bet the Packers. I was like, are you kidding me? They didn't break anyone in to compete with Malik Willis this week. What do we see with them? I can't even believe he's on a roster at this point. They're going to force me to bet on him. And then, like,

you're right, you're saying, like, all right, the only way they're going to do it is to rush for 261 yards. And they did that. 151 for Jacobs. Like, yeah, Gus Bradley. I don't know.

I forget who the D coordinator is for them. But just disgusting. And they took forever to score that last touchdown. Like, they're really, really, like, running it like there's 11 minutes left. I took the game up to TV at that point.

Listen, Green Bay only scored 16 points. Yep. The Colts were just completely throttled by this Packers defense that the Eagles, you know, basically crushed in Brazil. Anthony Richardson was not a good game for him. He's pretty raw. He makes some of the worst throws you'll see

on the TVs on a Sunday. He had a couple doozies today. Just looks really raw. There are no playoffs that's minus 400. I actually think that should be higher. They have a top four or five worst defense in the league. I'm not sure about...

You know, you might have just picked the wrong South to have a combined 31 wins or whatever it was. Right. Right? It might just be that it's going to be the NFC South. Well, Carolina's going to go in 17. So what was the fando odds? We're 30 for the NFC South?

Yeah, so we just have to make sure the other three don't get to 30. That's true. I don't see indy making the playoffs i don't see tennessee making it either oh and two with two giveaway losses they have the worst quarterback i mean that guy is just uh we've i don't you know whatever doctor you want to listen to mayonnaise in the coffee definitely causes brain damage because that guy with the willis with the or uh levis levis backward flip that you're gonna see like when the coach is saying,

what the fuck are you doing for millions of people to see? Maybe it's time to take him out. Well, it's like both of our sons have played flag football when that's like, you know, they're 10 or 11 or 12. And every once in a while there's a flag football player. We're like, Oh my God, why did Johnny do that? Why did you, why did Johnny think he could just lateral it backwards to the referee? Just like the stupidest things you'll ever see. And Levis has done like three of those. He loves it.

It's his go-to. It's his finisher. He's just kind of like gaming. He's just out there like, whoa, hey. It's like watching somebody play quarterback who's drunk. If he came out after, it's like, well, Levis has been drinking before these games. It's like, ah, that makes sense.

And with no memory either. It's like, oh, now I remember why everyone's mad at me because I did this last week in a game that was unlosable. Yeah. You're right. I shouldn't have thrown it to the other team. All right, coach. I get your side of it.

No playoffs, minus 600. Denver. Denver. no playoffs minus 600 Denver so Bo Nix the Bo Nix Bryce Young passing stats are about as brutal as it gets there's like historically bad stuff

I watched that whole game because I really needed Pittsburgh to win for a variety of reasons you watch it because the NFL screwed us and gave us only three games. There was 10 games early and three late. Denver kind of controlled the second half secretly and

just missed a couple plays, but that game was a little scarier than 13-6. Pittsburgh did nothing in the second half. They couldn't move the ball at all. I think Pickens set a record for celebrating plays that were called back for a penalty. It might have been three.

You're right. What's there? No playoffs. It's got to be 13-1. Yeah, 20-1. They had a chance. Can we just talk about that game for a second? That ended. Why did they not onside kick?

Has the league made the onside kick so impossible that Sean Payton's like, no, we have to kick deep with a minute 43 left and one timeout. It's like, really? You're going to get it back with 18 seconds? They got it back with eight seconds. I have a different complaint about that.

So it's 13 to three. It's fourth and five. They're on the 10 yard line. They need two scores. You go for it. Yeah, because you're not going to... You kick a field goal, then you have to go 70 yards

whenever you get the ball back. The much easier, more realistic snare is convert the 4th and 5. You cut it to 3. Then if you get the ball back, all you have to do is get to like the 40 yard line. Cause everybody can kick a 50 yard. I was shocked that he,

that he just settled for the field goal and I'm watching it going, you know, I have all money and I'm rooting for Pittsburgh cause I have division bets on them and all kinds of things. And I'm just like, Oh my God, he's going to go for this and they're going to get it. And they're going to fucking somehow force this game in overtime.

But I thought he screwed that up too. Especially with the Steelers. The idea that you're going to get four first downs're going to fucking somehow force this game to overtime. Especially with the Steelers. The idea that you're going to get four first downs in a row against that defense is not probable. I don't know. Not being able to onside kick. The guy who onside kicked at halftime against the Colts in the Super

Bowl passes on the onside kick because of the new rule. I got to see what this looks like. Do you think Bo Nix is a starting quarterback? He is on one of my fantasy teams. You pointed it out.

That's our double QB team. I think we should have double kickers. You're right. Everyone's booming 55 yarders. I was against having kickers at all. I think everybody should have two kickers now. Maybe we should just have a kicker league. Yeah, you're right. Maybe that's the way to do it. I still think Bo Nix

could maybe fight back somehow to be a quarterback in this league. He was portrayed by his tight end with the long hair. What's his name? Dolchich? Yeah. He dropped at least two easy passes. He was just awful. I have not seen a lot from Bo that are like... Dolchich. He dropped at least two easy pairs. He was just awful. I have not seen a lot from Bo that are like...

All year in the offseason, I interview ex-quarterbacks or whatever for the Ringer shows. I asked almost all of them about these three. Everybody's like, oh, they're going to all be special. It's like, I know you're not allowed to say one of them is going to suck,

but two or three of them are going to suck. Yeah, I'll tell you, it's 50-50. Isn't it? So you can go back on that pretty much anytime you want. It's the history of the league says 50-50 odds at best, maybe 40-60. Tomorrow in two teams, we can cross them off now. The Giants, who today against Washington became the first team ever

to score three touchdowns, give up zero touchdowns, and lose. And apparently, their kicker, who had been banged up all week, but they weren't smart enough to make sure they had another kicker

on the roster. And that leads to that. So every Giants fan I know would probably run Joe Shane over in their car if there was no video cameras. They're really bad. Not a surprise. But somehow Carolina is way worse.

Carolina is minus 60 already for the season. We have 15 games left. They're at minus 60. They've scored 13 points. Benching Bryce. Shout out again to Stephen Ruiz on my pod a month ago. This was one of his hottest takes that he thought Bryce Young would get benched this season. Right.

And I think we're in range. Because it's that bad. It is like you can't have them on a TV. He's such a mess. Yeah. I don't know if he makes it to November. This is one of those 35 yard a half guys that

just doesn't give you a chance to win. You look at his first half stats. I'm just looking and trying to see as if it matters. Oh, Andy Dalton's the backup. We'll get a good laugh out of that. Yeah, man. I don't know how much they could see. This is a very sad franchise all of a

sudden. It doesn't really even matter who they play. Like, oh, the Panthers were see. This is a very sad franchise all of a sudden. And it doesn't really even matter who they play. Like, oh, the Panthers were six. That's a steal at six against the Chargers who don't travel well. Went down to four and a half. Don't touch it. And Chargers are up before. That's the one game I didn't watch. I'll be honest. I was able to see nine games.

I had to kick one of the ten off. I had it on my cable by box that has the cable TV because House and I, for a million dollar picks, we did Chargers first half, Chargers game. Smart.

Plus 130. We're able to take it off in like 45 minutes and replace it with another game because it was just, you could just tell right away. I think Carolina might be the worst team in any sport

if the White Sox didn't exist. Wow. I think it's that bad. The White Sox be the worst team in any sport if the White Sox didn't exist. Wow. I think it's that bad. The White Sox are the worst, but at least the White Sox have like a farm system and I guess some things they could point to. If you're the Panthers, what are you pointing to? Yeah, it's like if you would,

the White Sox still have a couple, it's like you wouldn't bench every White Sox starting pitcher, but Bryce Young has to sit because he just kills their offense. No chance at all. Well, they can't block for him combined with... We've just seen this before with these young

QBs, but I think 0-17 is not crazy for them. I know it won't happen because the season's too long and they'll catch somebody in the wrong thing, but they just don't have any talent. And then Brown was their best defensive player.

He's out. Yeah. You know, they play the Giants in Germany, October something. Oh, you're right. Early November. Is it November? Maybe it's November.

That's the one. I could see them going goose egg, both those teams until then. That's going to be a treat. We fucking stuck Germany with that one, huh? Yeah, we should go to that game. Fuck you guys. I still remember 80 years ago.

Here's our responsible football game. Okay, those are all the 0-2 teams. Let's play. Oh, two more games. Just talk about quickly. Vikings Niners. Vikings 23, Niners 17. The Vikes ended up with 407

yards and had no receivers in the fourth quarter of the game. Everyone was out, including Jefferson. Their defense was great. Sacked Purdy six times. He had a fumble. No McCaffrey, obviously. San Francisco hasn't won in Minnesota since 1992. Did you know that? I had no idea

that this was like, they were talking about it during the game. But the big thing is just the Sam Darnold renaissance. And I have one of my best friends is a huge Vikings fan. He mailed me the clip of Darnold walking in the locker room after the game. You know, like those Minnesota Vikings

Twitter feed. And the team is just like, yeah! They fucking love Sam Darnold. It's like, how did this happen? This is a Darnold duping, though. He did do this a few years ago. You think it's a Darnold rope-a-dope? It's a little bit of a Darnold duping here. And I'm looking at their odds to make the playoffs.

We could jump on no for even. We could do it. We have a few dollars left. It's even right now? Yeah. What if Justin Jefferson's out for a while? I mean, who's seventh is the problem?

Is it the Cardinals? Well, it depends if we get... If you go Seattle, just admit one of the NFC East, Dallas, or Philly is going to be the wild card. We're getting two from the West, so we'd have to get two from the East, one South, and then...

Green Bay or Minnesota? You could still get San Francisco, Seattle, one South and then well Green Bay or Minnesota you could still get San Francisco Seattle and I like Arizona all the same I like Arizona too

I'm with you the other one was Bucks Lions so I stayed away from this game because I thought the line was too high yeah

went to seven and the Bucs played a really good game there last year and I just, something about it scared me.

I wish I had that feeling about some of the other games I've been on. But the Lions had one touchdown on seven red zone trips. Goff had two horrible old school Jared Goff picks.

They ran 83 plays, which is like an incredible high amount. How many times do you think Goff passed in that game? Do you know this? I don't know. How many Goff passes today? What would you guess?

At 83 offensive plays? It's high. Was it 44? He threw 55 passes today. Wow. Wow. 55 passes. And watching the game, and we didn't even have the game on

for the first half. Cause I just thought, you know, and then when it became interesting, it made a TV and, uh, it was just weird. It was like, they were airing it out. Like they were down 20 and it was, you know, one score game for two hours. But I don't know what that team's doing. They're built to just pound the ball, pound the ball, pound the ball, play action, hit like Laporte as a witness protection. St. Brown, who was going for $50 in some fantasy leagues, they really only have two receivers, like Khalif Raymond's playing a bunch for them as their third receiver, but I'm not panicking yet, but I do like it.

He's a little hurt, but Jamison Williams is good. But yeah, we're missing the... Oh, wow. Look at Mount St. Brown open over the middle for 35 yards, for 30 yards, right? It seems like we don't

ever get there with Goff anymore, even with the last game. It's tough. And they had to do that crazy fake punt. If that hadn't worked, this might have been a blowout. Maybe we just...

All the NFC South teams just screw us all the time. It's early. There's basically no preseason and these teams have to round in shape. I just don't know why they're not pounding the ball. One thing I'll say with Tampa, and we knew somebody stupid was going to come out of that NFC South,

and I want your New Orleans scouting report in one second, but the fact that Godwin looks like he's Chris Godwin from four years ago this season, they just seem a little more dangerous when they need a first down. They need to go 70 yards. I feel like they have more options this year

than they had last year. And Baker's playing really well. I wouldn't say he's a top 12 quarterback, but he's probably above average now. Maybe. I mean, a lot of these teams, that's, you know, I wouldn't say he's a top 12 quarterback, but he's probably above average now. Maybe. I mean, a lot of these teams, that's all you need. 200 yards, one touchdown, one interception. And the defense could do the rest.

But yeah, you're right with Godwin. I kind of feel the same way I do about the Saints. I don't know if you want to get to them now, but they're playing with confidence, right? Like Baker's playing with confidence. Carr's playing with confidence. They talk about this's playing with confidence. Carr's playing with confidence. They talk about this Kubiak. Oh, he's with Kubiak.

Really? He's been in the league for 100 years, Carr. He really just needed, no, it was just the right coordinator to get him going. And they look super fast, the Saints. They look sideline to sideline really fast. I was singing songs about the Cowboys linebackers all week. And then just like they have, talk about like a retread,

like they have a 2018 version of Alvin Kamara just sprinting to the sideline and getting around the corner. What happened with that? How did they rejuvenate Kamara? I don't know, man. My team goes back and forth. We just go back and forth

between like being super prepared for a game like we were for the browns and then just did we practice at all this week either that or the saints are great which i didn't want to believe just yet so confession i did not watch really any of this game because there were 10 early games and i knew for the podcast i knew you were going to watch the whole game. So I just decided to give you the car keys for the Saints. Wait a minute.

You put this on your, you put, first of all, I have a bone to pick. You said this is a barely watchable, but then you put it in your four screen for YouTube. Well, I underrated the Saints and I changed my mind. Now there were too many games

and I was really, I wanted to see how Green Bay did with Malik Willis. I wanted to watch the Jets-Titans game. The Pat Seahawks was like a permanent one. Lions, then the Ravens-Raiders guy. I just never, I just knew you were going to watch it for us. But then

the Saints had 28. How many points did they have at halftime? They had 35. 35.16. And Carr had need to watch. Yeah, 35 points at halftime. And Carr had 11 completions. So I'm going nuts about his relationship with the coordinator and everything. But they ran for 190.

Like, that was the difference. It was just one of those games I got out of hand. It's weird because the last home game this happened was the playoff game against the Packers where I sat on your couch. And I don't know. I did awful things. Really, really bad.

But yeah. So I guess this is our thing, awful things. Really, really bad. But yeah. So I guess this is our thing, Mike McCarthy. We just get trounced at home. This is fun. People aren't afraid to come into your house anymore. No. There is some Clint Kubiak as the new hot offense coordinator buzz. Great.

But unleashing whatever was there with the Saints. If it's cool with everybody, I'm not going to trust it. Because they killed the Panthers in week one, and then they kind of just took you guys by surprise in week two. But I need a little more evidence. We've been down this road a bunch of times with Derek Carr. I find it hard to believe in his early 30s, all of a sudden he became this gunslinging leader

of a team that's going to score 500 points for the season. I mean, talk about, they're minus 200 to make the playoffs right now. What? Plus 160 the other way. We're going to have to bite on one of these because we're already miserable about it. Wait a second.

I love that Fando has these up these late. I know, kudos to Fandle so New Orleans let's see they have home for Philly at Atlanta at KC

next three they could be two and three in three weeks don't you think yeah I was I was gonna look at it

the other way like alright they definitely they have Carolina again they'll split with Tampa Panics in week four after Kirk Yeah, I was going to look at it the other way. They definitely have Carolina again. They'll split with Tampa. Panics in week four after Kirk officially loses his job after tomorrow night's game. Did you watch Jets-Titans?

Because I happened to watch a bunch of that one. Yeah, most of it. The Titans side. But the Jets side was interesting because they were alternately not impressive at all. But Rodgers made five old school Roger throw. He still can work that sideline and throw these beautiful touch passes. And that Wilson is not nearly as evolved as I thought he was going to be.

Right. Brees Hall isn't like, you know, this amazing. It's not like six yards of carry every time you hit the ball. But, you know, they snuck that one out. That was a really dangerous game. There was a moment there during the one o'clock games when it looked like the Pats were going to beat Seattle and it looked like the Jets might go 0-2.

We're heading toward this Thursday game of the 2-0 Pats. I don't know where we're going to see 0-2. I love that. That would have been great. I still think you have a shot and we'll get to that. But yeah, like Braylon Allen running the ball. No one taking a chance from Brees Hall. So yeah, he's spreading it out, Rodgers.

I think you're right. I hate to give him credit. He looked good, and he looked like a capable Jets quarterback. So 24-17. With that said, his body language in a couple moments in the first half looked like he was ready to check out. There was a terrible third in one play where the guy got stuffed and Rodgers

was just doing the frozen really, really guys? There was a couple shots of him sitting on the bench. It's like, what's going on? Is he happy? Is he talking to anybody? People get on Vrabel, but I don't know that they would have been 2- If people get on Vrabel, but I don't know that they would have been

2-0 the Titans with Vrabel, but I don't think they lose both those games. I don't think so either. Stupid team. Pat Seahawks was the other one. Very winnable game for the Pats. Brissette

just seems like if he was a starting pitcher, he's got five innings in him. And then it's like, oh, the top of the lineup's coming up. And you're like, can we start warming up, dudes? Because this guy's not getting through the lineup again. It was a super winnable game. The secondary was bad.

And that was basically the reason they lost was they just had a huge breakdown on that Metcalf touchdown. Metcalf. A couple PIs. With all that said, I really felt like, Kyle, did we decide they should have gone for that fourth and one in overtime? We were kind of like, whatever they did, I was going to disagree with.

Yeah, they should have gone. Kyle was just, let's pound them, let's go. But once they punted, it just felt like they were going to lose. Yeah, I think that's, look, that's a surrender index, right? That's surrendering the overtime. We're going to tie. Why is a team like the Patriots out to tie? Are they going to go 6-9-1 or 6-10-1?

That's going to make the difference? Just go for it there. Yeah. Listen, I didn't say this in the moment. In hindsight, it's 2020. Sorry, no one was there. With some time to marinate on it, the move was to go for it.

Because if you get it, then it's like, oh man, then we fucking went for it. And we got the fourth and one, and we came down, and it was like, ah, yeah, it's a new Patriots team. And instead they punted and the Seahawks scored and now we have no momentum, but I think they

should ask the defense like, Hey, how tired are you guys? Like, I don't know. We've been out here for four hours. This sucks. We're getting pounded. Why don't you just go for the, just get the one yard. Just go for it. Please score.

Two things. Gino once again was, was kind of sneaky really good and came through. He has a bunch of these come-from-behind touchdowns in the fourth quarter, but I thought he was really good. I did say to Kyle during that game, and this was an in-the-moment thing, it's like the Patriots are confident enough

that I think they should start thinking about Drake May because Brissette's pretty limited. You know, they've scored 20 points today. They scored 16 points the other day. He basically can't throw the ball downfield at all. And I think if May had played in that game with the fact that the O-line can block better than I thought before the season, he might have been able to swing that.

I wouldn't play him this week on Thursday. When's he coming in? I was just going to say. When do you put him in? When do we see him? The over-under is home against the Dolphins, October 6th. Now, when we first sketched this out, it was at the Jets that Thursday, so no.

But then they would have 10 days to prepare for at San Francisco week four. No, don't put them in there. You don't want to do that. Home for the Dolphins. Home for the Dolphins week five seems like it would be the move. Yeah, that's fair. I think if they're somehow 2-2, who knows. I thought they were going to be awful. It's a really likable team. They're fun to watch. The crowd likes them.

The energy. They're all playing hard. Good. I like this. It's certainly better than rooting for Carolina. I think your playbook is a little limited too, though. I don't know if Drake Maywood... It's because of our quarterback. Is that why? Bursette's a great guy.

It's just there's, you know, he can't do certain things. He's not mobile. All right. We're going to take another break for the podcast. And then I have one more game to play with you. Then we'll keep going. Whether in the game or in life, the right coverage can make all the difference. Securian Canada gives you that coverage.

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I didn't tell you we're doing this. Definitely or maybe. Or definitely hype and maybe. I like that more. Definitely maybe. So tell me definitely or maybe for either of these. The chiefs. Are you going to show me definitely or maybe for either of these. The Chiefs three-peat. Are you going to show me pictures of girls you've dated?

No. No, this isn't like face smash. I see. Definitely maybe. The Chiefs three-peat might actually be in trouble. Oh, just maybe. You can't say definitely, right? Yeah.

There's a team to beat, Bill. Yeah. All right. Now it's going to get harder. Ooh. Kyler Murray is back. Definitely or maybe? I'm leaning definitely.

I don't think that. I'm giving him the definitely. Yeah. Yeah. I saw a lot of good things and maybe they just had their number and they were going to crush him no matter what. But he looked, he looked,

if you ever liked Kyla Murray, he looked every bit as good as that Kyla Murray you liked. He, Harrison, McBride, Dortch didn't have a good game today, but he was good in week one. Connor can run the ball.

There's a certain style and feel and pace that seems like it makes sense for him it seems like he's post knee surgery just seems a little more inclusive you know he was a little withdrawn i think in the earlier kyler years but did not seem like that today or last week and they almost beat buffalo last week too all the memes added up and he's like f these people show like a baby carrying a loaf of bread and saying, there's Kyler in preseason. Yeah. I think he's finally figured it out.

It's an adventure story. Good team. Definitely maybe. New Orleans has an elite offense. Oh, I have to just say maybe. Okay. I can't say definitely. They were scary today, though. I'm

hoping it was just something that just got out of hand and we'll never look back definitely maybe Justin Tucker isn't a top four kicker anymore I'm going to say definitely as far as like

if I bet on him and the confidence I don't know maybe you could show me a stat that says that he is but who would you rather have? Let's go over the four. So I made a list. Aubrey, Aubrey might be the greatest kicker of all time. Thank you.

Dicker on the chargers. Boswell's lights out now. The guy we just saw. And Fairbairn on the Texans. Those four are just clearly better than him at this point. And then I'd probably put Harrison Bucker over him too. So I don't know if he's top five anymore. I mean, he's older.

He's the greatest kicker of all time. Yeah, always best song. Opera singer. I would rather have those five guys for this season. Do you have a theory why field goals are so easy now? I don't. I don't know. Do we need to change the rules to make them harder?

Remember in the old days, you could kind of jump over the center as they snapped it and jump on your guys' back? Maybe we need to bring some of that stuff back. What's fun about watching these dudes make like 54 yarders right down the post? Oh, hit the camera. Wow.

It's like, I don't care. That camera is on the other side, so don't blame our cameras for that going in. Don't you dare do that. Caleb Williams is the best, Bill. He didn't even move his legs. Just throwing his whole arm. How do the Texans win when this guy put up 40, 40 touchdowns, 40 points.

No, 40 yards. He has 40 yards. A 40 yard. Oh, okay. This guy is so much better than he was last week. 13 points. He's like dying to not play anymore. Please get me off this field.

Get every play. Oh, my God. Maybe put the old goalposts in just to freak the kickers out the ones that look like H's maybe that's a change switch that up maybe we move the goalposts like slightly closer together moving them in like arena football yeah definitely maybe Sam Darnold is about to be redeemed

no you're like out you're neither definitely nor maybe. I might say definitely not. Really? All right, definitely not. That's a good third one for this. Definitely maybe. Now that we've seen it in action in games,

Joe Burrow's hair looks kind of cool. Definitely. I like it too. Yeah, it looks good it's really nice I'd kill for it definitely Joe he's just very cool

I'm in Joe Burrow took a lot of shit but it fucking looks cool I gotta hand it to him yeah he looks like he's like the villain in a Netflix series

set in the in South Carolina it's like terrorizing teenagers is he the villain? Is he Hollywood Hulk? Or maybe he's the star. Does he turn that black?

Yeah. Definitely maybe or definitely not. Pittsburgh's going to go 10-7 or 11-6 somehow. Well, all right. I'm meant to look at the quarterbacks they face because there's going to be some games where they're going to have to score 20 points, right? Aren't they going to have to at some point?

Well, but don't you feel like they told Fields, look, we're going to win these first two games. Don't throw the ball over the middle. Don't do anything stupid. Don't try to run for two extra yards. We don't want you to fumble. We don't want you to throw the ball to the other team.

We just need 13 points. Week three, we're going to unleash you. Just trust us. Sure. Feels like that's the plan. I think that's right. All right, but I'm looking at the quarterbacks. So these are the good-ish quarterbacks I'll face.

Herbert, Dak, Rogers, Lamar, Burrow. I mean, this could be losses, right? Hurts, again Lamar, again Burrow, and Mahomes. Ten and seven.

They could do ten and seven. The rest are bad. They started out the season with two road games and went two and oh. It's pretty good. Yeah. I feel good about that pick that I was ready to,

that you give me a mulligan on after we did the over under pod. And I was like, if I could switch one thing, I would switch Buffalo and Pittsburgh, but we'd said no. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

definitely maybe two or two or should retire. You know, I thought about this. There's no way to govern this, obviously. No. Cause we, I thought about this. There's no way to govern this, obviously. No. Because we,

I taped something at the top on Thursday where it's like, I don't know what the number is for these dudes to retire. And then I watched boxing, flew home from Boston

on Saturday night and I watched boxing and UFC on JetBlue. And I'm just thinking like, these guys are just all getting the crap kicked out of them.

And then they get up and they go to the next fight. Like, who are we to tell Tua? Oh, I, I, I'm a complete hypocrite. And for that very reason, like I see Tua with the fencing arm and I'm like, Oh no, let's not do that anymore. But then I'm like, this guy gets knocked out. I'm like, Oh man, he should fight John Jones next. Like, doesn't matter. He's like, he can't get out of the octagon. He can't figure out where the door is. If I was, if I was to his like roommate in college, I'd be like,

yo dude, like, what are you doing? How much money can you make if you just retire now? But, um, well, there's just some guys that,

you know, it's going to, you know, it's going to be problematic. And you said it, you're like, it was kind of a miracle that they kept them upright last year. Yeah.

They, they had him in bubble wrap last year. Yeah. Yeah. And even, like, that play, like, he kind of forgot the script that he wasn't supposed to do that. He ran into Hamlin's bicep, basically. You know?

Yeah. It wasn't helmet to helmet. It wasn't anything. And it left him, yeah. Would you think that was a playoff team either way? The Dolphins were? No, did you? After watching those first two weeks, I didn't think

they were one of the seven best AFC teams anyway, so I don't know if it's going to make a difference. Yeah, maybe not. What is that number now? They probably don't even have that on FanDuel, right? They do. Oh, man. You're going to love this.

Yes, it's plus 1.8. I should have had you guess. You want to guess? Did you hear it? I would have said like minus 300. No. Wow. Jump on there. No is minus 144. Oof. So they must think he's coming

back in like two weeks. That's another team. They're like the Rams. It's like two more injuries and that whole team falls weeks. Yeah, but so what? That's another team. They're like the Rams. It's like two more injuries and that whole team falls apart. Yeah. A couple other random things before we get to guest lines.

Rodgers, once again, I don't even think he threw for 200 yards today. So his 300-yard streak continues. It's been since week 13, December 19, 2021. NFC South, four wins. I'm worried about our bet. I'm not worried about my Aiden Hutchinson sack title bet. Really good.

What do you have? 11-1. That might pay for all my futures. We did our futures draft for the year. It's 11-1. He's got to be leading by like three sacks. He was excellent. And he kept everybody in the, he kept that team in the game is the problem. Yeah. I think Pickens is on pace to have an entire alternate universe fantasy season of plays that didn't count or pass interference yards where it's like, it's, he's basically like Megatron in 2009. He like 1200 yards and 10 touchdowns just called back or they didn't exist or they happened over here.

Somehow he's always in those. Do you think he goes to the locker room and yells at the guys, the offensive linemen who held? He's like, you're making me look stupid out there. I'm dancing and everyone's like, well, you don't have to dance. Yes, I do have to dance. What do you mean?

They should almost put a transmitter in his helmet just like so he doesn't start his dancing stuff. Yeah. Or a big yellow flag on the field could be an alert too. Here's my next question. Have we pivoted back to quarterbacks not mattering in fantasy football? Remember that was always the thing in the 90s, 2000s, most of the 2010s. And then all of a sudden when the touchdowns in the yards really went up, then it was like, well, I'm not going to win unless I get one of these top guys or unless I spend money and I possibly have three guys that I can mix and match. And now it's like, I don't know.

Who are you excited about? Are you fired up to have CJ Stroud? Yeah. Are you fired up to have CJ Stroud? Yeah. Are you fired up to have Josh Allen? He threw for like 120 yards that week. Like Mahomes? Like it's the lead for, and a lot of people are talking about

this became a big topic. It felt like over the last couple of days about the passing stats going way down, how there's way more running, what the reasons are. It's pretty interesting about how the defenses are getting just faster and sleeker and they're doing the two safeties way back.

So now it actually just makes more sense to run and make the defense pull people up. So then there's just more running plays. And then Goff throws for 55 times. So I don't even know. I talked to the parlay kid. You know him well from Against All Odds. He loves parlaying over one and a half touchdown passes. And he'll

put like four together. I was like, you have to stop with that bet. You have to. He won 33 touchdown passes last Sunday. That's disgusting. You're not going to get there anymore. Allen didn't get there. Obviously, Tua didn't get there from that first night.

How that game didn't go over was another thing. You pointed out, for fantasy-wise, on our kick-out league, Baker Mayfield, Daniel Jones, whatever, Kirk Cousins, Derek Carr, Geno Smith, they're all available. All available.

Baker Mayfield's still available? Four of those guys would be as good as anybody that's presented yeah you look like Josh Allen Mahomes

Lamar Hurts Jaden Daniels I guess Kyler was doing pretty well but even his stats weren't great last week yeah

it's Gino Smith it's Carr it's all the weird ones that you would never think of in the beginning of the year we're in a weird fantasy reckoning. How are you feeling about your team before we go to Guest Alliance?

I don't know. I'm fine, I guess. And then if they're, well, I mean, we're going to go one and two after the Ravens, and then it's going to be problems. Then Jerry's going to have to sell the team. Then there's going to be talk about McCarthy leaving and all that other stuff and Zimmer sucking.

What was your worst bet today? Worst bet? Okay, let me see. I'm going to look it up for the YouTubers. No, don't give me Hunter Biden's bet. Give me your bets. Did you and Hunter do a parlay together? Dallas plus three and a half

on a lot of like three team teasers, which I know you're not supposed to still do. I had your dumb team thanks to Raheem under 17 and a half. That didn't work out. I don't know. That was bad. What was your worst one? You couldn't have done great. My worst one was

on the plane yesterday. Just sitting there for 20 minutes waiting for a takeoff and remembered that, oh, I only have FanDuel for a little bit longer before we get in here. I should, four, five bets. That's it. I'm doing like, oh, Sugar Sean. Let me put him with freaking the Dallas Moneyline. I mean, I just ripped off like three or four of the dumbest bets ever. And I put no thought in them at all because I wanted to get it done before we took off. Yeah. I wanted to do that.

America's number one sports book. Fandle partnered with Southwest Airlines. Get your bets in right away. Stay on the runway for 10 more minutes and you can squeeze in three more bets you never would have normally made. Ooh, do you think they're in cahoots with the airlines? They're like, ah, sorry, we're delayed.

We have a live fish on this jet blue. Simmons is in row five. Mechanical issues. Yeah, Bill Simmons. I bet on Brian Ortega because my son told me he really liked Ortega. I'm like, all right, I'll throw him in with the Cardinals. Yeah. That didn't work.

I had, oh, another one. I did Canelo under eight and a half for that fight. He hit the guy. Somehow I was on JetBlue and I had UFC and I had two iPads. I had UFC on one iPad and I had the Canelo, that whole fucking other one. Really? Wow. And the Wi-Fi worked pretty much well enough. But the Canelo one, he's just throwing bombs at this guy for round after round.

And the guy goes down in the third. He goes down in the seventh. But somehow he just makes it. You look at what we could have made betting him to win by decision over the last eight fights. And you'll never stop vomiting. Yeah, it's disgusting. And you could have gotten three to one odds on it. Yeah, but here's the thing. When these guys add the weight and they go up,

these knockout guys who they're fighting 20 pounds heavier than they used to fight, the punching power doesn't seem like it comes with them. The only one I remember is Hearns. Like Hearns was like the only one who was able to put on weight and keep the power. I guess Holyfield did too when he got to heavyweight. I know.

I gained a lot of weight. I have no power. So I think you're right. We're rambling. So that means we're going to take a break and get to guess the lines. Yeah, baby. As the world's population grows, so does the need for resources like Potash to support sustainable food production.

This is why BHP is building one of the world's most sustainable Potash mines in Canada. Thank you. a future resources company. To discover how, visit bhp.com slash better future. Metrolinks and Crosslinks are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Crosstown LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. All right, coming back, Guest Alliance, week three.

Did you beat me last week too? We tied. We did. We tied. 10-10. I'm going to beat you. I'm up 1-0-1. By the way, I should mention, here are the 2-0 teams. 10-10. I'm going to beat you. I'm up 1-0-1. By the way, I should mention, here are the

2-0 teams. Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Chargers, KC, Houston, Minnesota, New Orleans, Tampa, Seattle. So we got 8 plus Philly tomorrow, potentially.

And which one do we say we would bet against to make the playoffs? The Saints? I'd really need to look at that this week. Because one of these teams would be like,

oh, remember when the Saints started out 2-0 and then they finished 6-11 and Dennis Allen got fired? I'm still not... I know, but we kind of have to do it now, right?

Yeah. Week three. The Jets are home. They're playing the Patriots of New England. This is, by the way, I think our only night game this year. How the mighty have fallen. That's right. Yeah.

This is it. Enjoy it. I have the Jets by five and a half. You should try to pick this exactly because I sure as hell did. Five and a half? Six and a half. You should try to pick this exactly because I sure as hell did. Five and a half? Six and a half. You picked it exactly? I did, yeah.

The rest, eh. That's fair. Yeah, that's a whiff high. You think so? Yeah. Yeah, the Jets. Last week, they got killed by the Niners, who then just lost to the Vikings.

This week, they barely beat the Titans, even though Will Levis, we were joking earlier that it seemed like if a quarterback did have drinks before a game, this is what it would look like. So I don't know why they'd suddenly be almost seven points against the Pats who beat the Bengals and then almost beat the Seahawks I guess

first home game right I guess the place will be pretty pumped for Aaron Rogers to make it to the distance have you been to a Jets game is it a place that gets really pumped I would say it goes the other way it gets more surly that's what I mean by pump.

That's how we say in New York, pump. You know, this is going to be interesting for him. He's going to have his family there. Oh, no, wait. His family doesn't talk to him. It's going to be a good game. I think you could upset him. Kyle was so happy today that I was rooting for the Pats.

Even though I have five futures against them. This has come to. Sunday's marquee game. Sunday's marquee game. It's really probably the Eagles and the Saints if it's two 2-0 teams, but we're

not going to do that. We're going to go Cowboys Ravens because if the Cowboys coming off just getting lambasted by the Saints at home. Yeah. I wish Baltimore had won. And you have the 0-2 Ravens somehow playing a must-win game in week three. Yeah. Right? This is, I think, got to think at least for the division, 0-3, pretty hard to bounce back and win. I put this line low, even though it's in Dallas. I have Dallas by one and a half.

Oh, you got it exactly. I said two. Thought we'd get the nudge there. Yeah, you don't want to say must win, right? I think it is. Three losses would be something. Because we did this earlier, but the next two games after this are hard for them.

They're home for Buffalo and at Cincy. They basically have to go two and one, right? Two and one out of those three, yeah. The problem for them is even when they have a lead, I feel like the other team can throw the ball on them and come back, which makes it an unusual Baltimore. Derek Henry used to be the greatest clock killer of all time. What

happened? He still looks good. Yeah. I don't know what happened. Watchables. It's a pretty good week next week. I got to say, I thought I had four watchables and I had three fairly watchables. They relieved us and I know I complained about and you and I had three fairly watchables. Well, they relieved us

and I know I complain about it and you and I and maybe three others only care, but when they had ten games early on and six came down to the wire, I was like, screw these guys. Scott Hansen had an aneurysm. Just give us eight and five or eight and four.

Stop it already. And then you got three games in the afternoon. Two aren't competitive within like eight minutes and four. Stop it already. And then you got three games in the afternoon. Two aren't competitive within like eight minutes. Enough. Spread it out. Yeah, there was one stretch in the early games where it felt like in five games at the same time, there were just like pivotal two-minute stretches

and they were all overlapping with each other. And you're just like, wait, what? Right. Watchables. So, I don't think this is going to be an aesthetically pleasing game, but I can't wait to watch it.

Steelers-Chargers in Pittsburgh. Two 2-0 teams. Two similar teams. Trying not to do too much on offense. On defense, trying to win games, not make mistakes. Team that obviously like built around the coach,

coach's personality. Uh, there's nobody believes in us on both sides. Two teams that I backed before the year as playoff teams. And I'm interested to see what happens in this. I think the chargers might have a slightly higher upside than the Steelers because of the quarterback. Because the Pittsburgh

quarterback, we still haven't really seen him have to make a play yet when it actually matters. They've always had the lead. I have Steelers minus three. Alright. I pussed out on this. I thought about it for

a long time and I'm like, I can't. I don't know who's going to be favored. So I gave it the 9-9 round. You can't respect me as a judge. I made it a pick'em. And you're right. It's a long way of saying you're right. It's a one.

Oh, no, we're both right. It's one and a half. Oh, we're both right? Yeah. You did a pick'em? Fuck's wrong with you. I shouldn't do that, right? We've never had pick-ems.

I know. But they just never happen. The Cardinals-Rams game today was a pick-em. Like heading into kickoff, which I was like, that never seems to happen. I'm trying to beat you. I'm not beating the Vegas. I know I can't do that.

Well, so in the old days, minus three meant it was minus three for the home field advantage. That has now dropped over the years to now minus one and a half as the home field advantage. So they're basically saying those teams are exactly even. Next watchable is Texans-Vikings in Houston.

Although the Texans were not watchable today. Hopefully this game won't take four hours. I'm sorry. This is in Minnesota, not in Houston. My bad. So I have Houston favored. I had it as a two

and a half before the game tonight, and I think I'm just going to keep it there. I have Houston by two and a half in Minnesota. No, move it lower. Move it lower. I had two and it's three and a half. You get it. Three and a half. You get it. Three and a half? Hmm.

Maybe the Sam Darnold duping hasn't hit Fandle yet. Well, if Jefferson doesn't play, you know, Texans are probably a good

I think he said he doesn't think he's going to miss time. Can we, I want to give the, throw the NFL a bone. They still don't know how to schedule games, but the fact that they came out with the A.J. Brown news before kickoff today

means that they're sort of looking out for fantasy owners because that McCaffrey thing was so bad last week and it came down like an hour before the game when nobody can make moves. But they didn't have to say if A.J. Brown was playing Monday night, Sunday at 1240, and they did. Good job by you. Do you think the NFL should run commercials congratulating themselves? The NFL, we finally care about our fans. It's the players we don't care about. The NFL, caring about our fans since one week ago.

Yeah, that is a good point. They definitely did that for fantasy. Because if you started A.J. Brown, it's just an out-and-out catastrophe. Next one, Eagles at the Saints. This is arguably the best game of the week if the Saints are good. I have the Eagles favorite in this game, so I'm going to say Eagles by two and a half. I think you're going to beat me this week. You got it exactly. I thought it would be one.

I guess I did like the Saints more than that. I usually have good week threes. You're up four to two. You know, everyone in New Orleans hated Carr. I wonder if they flipped on that now because the Saints are fun. Coming back, two big wins.

I wonder if they'll have an awesome crowd for this game. Awesome old-school Saints crowd. This feels like a gambling stay away. They were home against Carolina, right? Yeah, this is their second home game. Yeah. This could be a good one. Last one, Lions-Cardinals.

This is also in Arizona. This is a game that could have been like Lions minus six in the look-ahead line, but now heading into week three, I don't see how it's higher than three and a half. So I'm going to say Lions three and a half. Get this one too. I said two. That's how much I like Arizona. It's three. Yeah. They're going to make you bet it off the three.

I think people are still going to look at Arizona if they didn't see the games and say they're one and one and the only reason they beat the Rams is because all the guys in the Rams got hurt. But Arizona has a good offense. And I regret not taking the million dollar picks this week. Can your guy Hutch contain little Kyle Amari? Can he get him?

Yeah, I want him to. Can he clinch the sack? Let's clinch the sack record in September. Fairly watchables. Colts-Bears. Not quite bad enough to be a poop-fecta game, but I definitely don't want to watch this. It's in Indianapolis.

Colts by two and a half? Oh, come on. I hope people are seeing this on YouTube, how you're sauntering into the screen. Yeah, it's two and a half. What are you looking at? Well, I thought about changing my mind to three, but I kept it where it was.

I said two. Two and a half it is. I don't think I would put money on the Colts again anytime soon. No. So you're calling this a stay away, right? Because you can't go bears. I really like Steichen. I thought he did some weird

shit today. First of all, he's in charge of the other coaches, right? So you could take Gus Bradley and be like, yo, what if we just move all our guys up and make Malik Wallace try to throw deep?

But I thought there was some game management stuff that I just didn't agree with. Seahawks in Seattle playing the Dolphins, which I assume no Tua for that game, correct? I thought that's going to

reflect the line. I don't think so. Yeah. He's not going to clear him now one week later, right? I'm going to say Seahawks by five. All right. You edged me out again.

I said four and a half. It's six and a half. Oof. Pretty high. I'm just so... I just can't guess more. I see, oh, this should be five in the old days, but nobody wins by five anymore,

so they'll make it four, right? Well, five becomes the appetizer, and then it eventually lands at six or four. Right. Or four and a half. Do we have to change the Vegas zone? To what? Like three and a half to four and a half or something?

No, it's four and a half, five, five and a half, because those are spreads that never happened right i'm just thinking the way they now now you know we don't see a lot of nine 11 point lines everything seems to be smaller now one seahawks now that guy murphy is really good for them yeah i remember that rookie nose tackle he was wreaking havoc in the game today. That was a really nice pick. 49ers at the Rams is the last one. And it's a borderline poop fact that if Cup doesn't play, because I don't know who's going to be catching balls for the Rams,

but I have the 49ers by three and a half. Get me again. I had three. It's seven. Let me check this. So they're saying Cupupps not playing then this ain't nobody's playing yeah it's seven I mean shit at that point

don't play Stafford right right just give them the week off just punt on the game man that's gonna be a grim Rams game you're gonna have

40,000 honors fans there all the Rams who have tickets aren't gonna wanna go yikes man, that's going to be a grim Rams game. You're going to have 40,000 honors fans there. All the Rams who have tickets aren't going to want to go. Yikes. You love it. You love that teaser game. You love it. I do.

I'm probably going to tease that one. It was one of those pretty games that make you go, huh? Hmm. This is what the pretty critics have been talking about okay poop fact uh bucks home for the broncos wow the bucks could be three now yep i have the bucks by uh six and a half. Well, what do you know? You got it exactly right again. I said seven. I'm on fire.

I'm glad we're catching this on YouTube. Yeah, yeah. We should do a headline like, Guy Catches Fire Picking Games. Something like that. Yeah, you're on fire. I'm trying to think of a world-renowned cheater who would be on fire,

but it escapes me right now. This is always what happens. You always accuse me in week three of cheating. Bill Belichick's on fire. Put those cameras away. Packers at the Titans. The Malik Willis revenge game. Malik Willis back to make the Titans pay.

It's like kill Bill three. I don't see how the Titans can ever be favored against anyone. And I'm going to just say Packers by one. Oh, I'm going to get one. I'm going to get one. I said, Tennessee by one.

Tennessee is favored by two and a half. So go ahead and put Malik on a teaser, getting eight and a half. Go get it. It'd be funny if they asked the coach of the Titans during the week. What's the guy's name? Brian Callahan? Yeah.

From Callahan Auto Parts. Does it help you having had Malik here for the last couple years, to prepare for this game? And normally the coach is like, well, you know, he's a competitor. But if he was just like, yeah, I mean, he's terrible. We watch it day after day after day. I think I can't make a throw. I can't wait to stack the line. We're just going to destroy him.

What the fuck are you doings have to be close by now between Levis and Malik. Coach, can we see your what the fuck are you doing have to be close by now between Levis and Malik coach can we see your what the fuck are you doing rating system well I have 11 for Will this year and 7 for Malik even though I never played put your face in your hands more often the last two years

Browns home for the Giants Browns could be two and one. I mean, that was one of your things with them, right? You like their schedule. Yeah. I didn't mind them, especially here. I'm going to say Browns by six and a half. You're such a dirtbag, man.

You got it exactly. I don't even know why I care anymore. It's out of reach. Six and a half is the number. I said five. Yeah. Sometimes true greatness can happen, even on a YouTube live stream.

Is this going to be... Well, I don't think it would be an overreaction, but whichever quarterback comes up short here, that could be it. I thought you were going to say whoever goes up 3-0, the game is over. Oh, well, that too. Yeah. If the Giants can just go up 3-0, the game is over. Oh, well, that too. Yeah.

But if the Giants can just go up 3-0, it's done. If they're 0-3 with dimes, and Cleveland can make them look bad, but if they're 0-3, and if Watson doesn't show up here, there's going to be a suspicious investigation by midweek. Cleveland's pass rush was very good today, but that's not why Jacksonville sucked. They sucked because they suck. Raiders home for the Panthers.

So I thought about this. I don't know how the Panthers are getting less than seven points against anyone in the league that's not the Giants at this point. Because I was trying to think, like, if they play Washington, I just don't see, especially on the road. So I have Raiders by seven.

You're going to set a record for how many you got exactly. Did I hit that one? Yeah. Let me count how many you got, because you won the week. But one, two. I'm doing like the Michael Jordan

shrug at magic. Three, four, five. Marv Albert. Hey. Five exact picks. Six exact picks. It's crazy. I didn't ask for these powers.

What could happen when you're staring right at the FanDuel homepage? It's amazing, the results. Sunday night, Chiefs-Falconscons somehow we get the Falcons again yeah so I guess Chiefs by three and a half my guess is if the Falcons suck tomorrow this game's in Atlanta by the way if the Falcons suck tomorrow this goes up but three and a half seem fair would you have this iscons suck tomorrow, this goes up. But three and a half seemed fair.

What'd you have? This is Vegas, so, and I had it at four. It's four and a half. But yeah, I mean, really, we have to see if Kirk Cousins can move. I mean, Joe House made a compelling case about breaking down his various different types of passes with Kirk Cousins last week. Well, they had all these stats about how he used to run play action and just all the different ways that they basically made sure he didn't move.

Yep. Play action was a big one. Not great. Well, Monday night is a don't get divorced night. For some reason, there's two games. I don't know why they decided to do this. I think I like it for the

most part. Bills-Jaguars is the first game. That's in Buffalo. I'm going to not allow myself to bet on this game, but I have the Bills by four and a half. I had it too. It's five and a half. I have four and a half also.

Isn't the the second one the later one supposed to be the better one or no there's ones at 730

ones at 815 kickoff Jacksonville Buffalo's 730 Washington I mean I would argue they would think

they before the year they probably thought both of these games were good because the other one Cincinnati Washington with Jaden Daniels against Burrow, LSU against LSU.

Right. If you had just toughed it out at ESPN, you would be calling one of these games. Whichever the lesser. If you just had toughed it out for nine more years. Yeah. What's wrong with you? I would have loved that. I would have loved calling the NBA.

So short-sighted. Bengals minus five and a half was my last one. That's what I got too. Against Washington. Seven and a half. They kind of have to win that game. They kind of have to win it. That feels like the Houston game today

that it's just going to be in everybody's I got to make my money back tease. That's why I stayed away from Houston tonight because I was like, this seems too fishy. And as it turned out, they almost didn't get it anyway. All right, so I won week three. Oh yeah, you crushed me. Yeah, Cincinnati.

I have Washington as my best bet. Probably as lucky as I can get on that because Giants kicker doesn't go out they win by default right so but I might I'm going to take back all my Jaden Daniels praise for now maybe it could be good but I mean he looks like

he looks like Michael Jackson the Billy Jean guy I didn't realize how thin he is just running around back there really skinny crazy crazy stupid skinny I didn't realize how thin he is. Just running around back there. Really skinny. Yeah. Like crazy, crazy, stupid skinny. I don't, after watching him take some of these hits,

he's somebody that doesn't seem like he's built for a 17-game season playing the way he's playing. That one hit he took, it looked like he was going to be done for four months. Yeah. It sucks that we're forced to watch football differently now, but you have to care about these guys. You just do. Well, meanwhile, Josh Allen's like LeBron. I don't even know what scenario he would even get hurt.

We always said the joke about LeBron, his leg would come off and he would just pick it up and go get it and put it back on. I don't see a lot of Josh Allen like, oh man, what a hit. He's always doling out the hit. Yep. There you go, Bills fans. Simmons jinxed you.

Josh Allen comes up next week. I like the Bills fans. Monday night. Bills fans are cool. They did a good thing with Tua this week. Let's do Parent Corner. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by Workday. Get the whole band together with Workday and pair finance and HR in one platform for an epic performance. With Workday AI at the core, you'll make confident decisions faster than ever, and you'll drive flawless business

and finance operations with an agile platform that consistently and constantly evolves to future-proof your organization. Be a finance and HR rock star with Workday. Visit Workday.com to learn more. What do you got? Let's do it. All right. Okay, so my kids on this travel baseball team, which is, it's brutal, travel baseball,

because you do travel. You go an hour and 15 minutes, and they make sure you're never closer than that. And like I said, when you drive out, you pass a thousand diamonds, but it doesn't matter. You're playing on the one that's an hour and 15 or an hour and 45. So when you get these tournaments, they're all Saturday and Sunday. And you get the schedule on Thursday and you just don't want to get stuck with the 8 a.m. You don't want the 6 p.m. game either, but you don't want, you know, and you're waiting for the results like it's from your cardiologist or something. And of course, we get the Saturday 8 a.m. game in Irvine,

which means practice is at 7, which means we have to leave the house before 6, which means we have to wake up closer to 5 a.m. on Saturday to get to kids travel baseball. There's nothing worse. I'm getting PTSD just listening to this. Just backtrack. Okay. Hour here. Hour. Okay. Good. All right. Five o'clock. It's dark for most of the ride. Great. So we do it. The two older boys want no part of it. So it's me, my wife and Harrison, a 10 year old. Oh, you double parented it? Yeah. Yeah. I have to do the Saturday because I'm not around for the Sunday. I'm an absent

parent for Sunday because they always she didn't say you take them on Saturday and I'll take them Sunday well I guess yes you're right she's I have to give her credit I guess I should give her credit more yeah parenting by her yeah we get there we spend all day we win both we're in the

semifinals so we have to come back Sunday so now we're driving back it's about two o'clock and like, all right, we haven't had lunch. Um, and, uh, like, where do we want to go? And so she's looking at places like, oh, there's an umami burger. And we had just made a list of the restaurants. We hate that closed by us. Umami burger. And I don't get anything for this. I promise. I love umami burger and it's gone. I'm like, that's great. And then she says to Harrison, like, oh, there's also a Denny's,

the fricking Denny's a mile away also went away. So she, he's like, oh, let's go to Denny's. Yeah. Let's go to Denny's. I'm like, yeah, I don't want to go. I don't want to go to Denny's. I don't want to go. So I'm driving and, and my wife's like, well, do you want to put Denny's into ways? I'm like, no, I'm not putting, I put Umami Burger into Waze. I want to eat that. And she's like, oh, all right. I'm like, these kids, they get to make the call for where you eat all the time. I'm like, we woke up at 5.15. I want to pick lunch, you know, like a big fat baby.

I'm like, I want my lunch. You can get your lunch. So we go to Umami Burger and he has a burger and he loves it. I was like, will you say this is the best burger you ever had? It makes for a good story on Parent Corner. He's like, no, I won't say that. It's not true. So anyway, it wasn't the best burger we ever had, but it's good. But my point is parents have to take back our eating decisions. We let our kids bulldoze us for the basic reason that we have fewer meals remaining, we have to pick it.

And by the way, you look at me, I'm not, you know, I'm definitely getting whatever meal I want overall. So you can't feel too bad. But do you agree with me? We let the kids decide too much, even though it's chicken, burgers, and pizza all the time. And we just rotate.

Parents need to pick the meals. I think you make some great points. Thank you. Parents need to take back the head coaching. For meals. This is, this is like, no, I think for a lot of different things. It's a lot like you're asking like an eight-year-old, what do you want to do today? And it's like, maybe you should make the schedule. You're the adult. Tell them what to do. I always feel this way. Like, uh, you know, you go to like, uh, like some sports bar and they have like 130 things on the menu and like 40 beers on taps. And it's like, why can't you make, just have like some good stuff and you make the decision for me. What are your

three best things? Right. I don't want all this power. Like we do the same thing with eight year olds and 10 year olds. Of course-year-old is going to say, let's go to Denny's. Yeah. The ten-year-old should have no say anyway, especially when you're leaving at five in the morning to get your ten-year-old wherever they need to. I had so many different possible

parent corners, but I think all of them would get me in trouble. They're nothing about a mommy burger. All right, here's one. I had so many different possible parent corners, but I think all of them would get me in trouble. Really? They're nothing about a mommy burger. So, all right, here's one. So, I do like a mommy burger. I thought that was a good call. I mean, the most exciting thing was Fogo de Chow

reaching out to us after we mentioned them. Oh, they did, right? Yeah. Yeah. What does that mean? We don't want anything from Fogo de Chow either. We just want all to be the liability if Brad dies at Fogo to chow. We don't want to be held responsible.

So, you know, when your kids, like, as they're growing up, they're on your apps. You know, like they're on your Uber potentially. They're on your Postmates. They're on your Postmates. They're on Caviar, whatever it is. They're tied to there because they're not old enough to have their own thing. So my daughter's in college and she's still on my Starbucks and my Postmates and my Caviar. And the Starbucks, she's probably there twice a day. And for some reason, didn't get her on Starbucks. And I'll just see these things and my Starbucks,

all of a sudden I have like $8 left on my Starbucks. I'm like, what the fuck? And she's just charging stuff constantly. But when I was with her a couple of weeks ago, we got Starbucks. She's like, I'll order it. So then they get the drink. She's like, I've got two drinks for Bill. And she's like, yeah, that got Starbucks. She's like, I'll order it. So then, you know, they get the drink. She's like, I've got two drinks for bill. And she's like, yeah, that's me. And I'm like, so you're,

you're ordering the drinks and then you're saying you're bill, but it's you. And you're, and she's like, yeah, you know, they all know me as bill here. And I'm like, this is insane. So I made her get her on Starbucks, but then she also had, I think caviar and what's caviar. What is that? Caviar is like a Postmates thing. There's a couple of different ones. Um, but she, uh, it's, uh, isn't it like one of the DoorDash or caviar, whatever it's, it's called caviar. Um, but anyway, you know, she's in college so right i'll get these things i'll get these emails like your pizza formato's pizza is five minutes away it's like two in the morning east coast i'm like oh my god her boyfriend must have wanted pizza so my big i finally was like

that's it you got to get your own stuff like just but tie it to your i i'm out i don't want to know what you're ordering from caviar you're not on my starbucks anymore you don't get your own stuff. Like just tie it to your head. I'm out. I don't want to know what you're ordering from Caviar. You're not on my Starbucks anymore. You don't get to be Bill. It's time. You turn 19. It's time for you to have your own name on the apps. Please let me be Bill.

Please let me be Bill. She's going to be Bill for five more minutes. So anyway, she got her own Starbucks and now she's forging her own identity with her own names on the apps. What does your wife think of that? Because it is a good way to track them though. I get that part of it.

Yeah, it is. I did think of that part, but it's way more annoying to see that somebody ordered pizza or, you know, whatever at two in the morning. Yeah. I don't know that. Yeah, I guess so.

All right. Well, they were both food related. Both are parent corners. I wouldn't know that. Yeah, I guess so. All right. Well, they were both food related. Both are parent corners. I want to go dark web parent corner for some of this stuff with both of my kids at this point, but pretty much all of it

would get me in trouble. So I can't. You're at the best parent corner age. That 10 to 11 is the best. I have the 10 year old that doesn't listen. Yeah.

So it's fine. He doesn't listen to me and he doesn't listen to the podcast. So it's good. It's funny that your wife is still putting in this kind of time with him when, now that she knows from your oldest son, when he turns 17, he's going to have no time forever again.

You know what? I hadn't thought of that. You should mention that to her. That's a good thing. I am going to mention it. Like you're putting in all this time with Harrison. Archie was home for three months and he said 10 words to you. That's it. We didn't see him. Well, that might be why she's trying to do it. You know, making up for lost time. But I'm not doing every Rudy Tutti fresh and fruity.

What is the Denny's thing? Or is that the Grand Slam? Rudy Tutti fresh and fruity is IHOP? You don't know. You're on caviar. When did caviar become controversial? I don't know. I'm just trying to make a Denny's show

if he had said IHOP instead of Denny's would you have been more excited I think I would have a little bit I don't like IHOP we gotta take back our orders you literally took back your order with the bill and the Starbucks if you had done like a Waffle House type of place that would have been the win

yeah not a lot of those in Irvine Denny's needs a rehab. All right. That's it for Parent Corner. Thanks again to Workday for sponsoring this segment. Be a finance and HR rock star with Workday.

To learn more, visit Workday.com. Anything else before we go? No, that's it. Do you want to talk about James Babydoll Dixon robbing our cousin? Oh, yeah.

You know, I mean, I'm wearing the Jimmy Kimmel live hat. They lost again. They finally got. But why'd they lose? What was the reason this time? There's a specific reason. Let's give some background. So John Oliver won, what, 63 years in a row? And then he wasn't eligible for the award, right? So they changed it so that he was like like they moved him to the category he should have been in which was like we're sat in our live and all these weekly shows opening the door for our cousin to finally win an emmy right in comes john stewart who our cousin joked about during

his presentation today john stewart wins john stewart we love john stewart but one day a week there's not four or five days a week. And John Stewart wins. Now, John Stewart wins, which he's the EP of. Right. Exactly.

But how did this John Stewart thing happen? Is the smoking gun happy milking goats or whatever he was doing in upstate New York. He's on a farm. He's just like making, making healthy cheese. Yeah. He was, he was like churning butter, whatever he was doing.

More than enough money. Didn't need any more money. He was in the rooms. Yeah, everything. In comes Baby Doll. And what does he say? No, I can get you back on TV. Comedy Central.

Baby Doll's like, they're going to give us the Daily Show, baby. We're going to run this whole thing. You only have to be on Monday nights. We're going to make so much money, baby. It's going to be amazing. The election cycle. Yeah. John Stewartart he's wearing like an apron he's milking cows he's milking goats he's got no wi-fi he's got no internet you have to go you have to go visit him just have a conversation no caviar you asked that guy uh older caviar caviar he has no apps

yeah then he has no he's thrown away all his suits. He doesn't have any suits anymore. And Babydoll shows up, and within two months, he's back on TV, and guess who wins the Emmy? John Stewart. Babydoll and John Stewart. Babydoll is executive producer, too. Right. Greedy, greedy MF-er.

Pretends to be our friend on these text chains. How many houses are enough? How many country clubs are enough? The answer 14 is not the answer. He's got more than that. Anyway, our cousin didn't win

the Emmy because of Babydoll. Wait till next year. Babydoll, he had three of the four people in the category because Colbert, Seth Meyers was the only one he doesn't have and he's probably going to sign him. I'll get Seth. Seth was the one who got away, baby.

Don't worry. I'm not done with him. Seth knows we're going to work together at some point. All right, Sal, what do you got to plug? That's it. Through the Ringo with Tate. I have against the Lods with the fellas, the D3. Cousin Sal's winning weekend and the Ringo pregame show.

It's a lot of fun. Hit my best bet. Hit my underdog play of the day. It's a lot of fun. Hit my best bet. Uh, hit my underdog play of the day and not a dime the show for it. The ringer pregame show is fantastic. And the good thing, if you go on YouTube TV and you subscribe to it, then it just shows up in your library. It tapes it automatically.

It's really great. You go to pop separate. YouTube TV is really good. Anyway. Uh, Sal, as always, good job on you. Good job on you, buddy. All right. That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Cousin Sal. Thanks to Steve Cerutti and Kyle Creighton for producing as always. Don't forget,

you can find clips and full episodes of this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. New Rewatchables coming Monday. Stay tuned for that. And I will see you in this feed on Tuesday. I feel the air twinkling On the wayside I'm a person never lost And I don't have to Must be 21 plus and president in select states For Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino Or 18 plus and president in D.C.

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