The Bill Simmons Podcast - Are the Chiefs Dead? Plus: Unicorn Derrick Henry, the “Genius” Shanahan, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal.
Episode Date: October 25, 2021The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss a day full of lopsided victories, including the Chiefs’ blowout loss to the Titans, the Bengals’ impressive win over the Ravens, Patr...iots-Jets, Buccaneers-Bears, the Colts’ rainy win over the 49ers, another Dolphins loss, and more (1:50). Then they Guess the Lines for NFL Week 8 (47:30) before briefly discussing Season 3 Episode 2 of HBO’s ‘Succession’ [SPOILERS] (1:19:00), followed by Parent Corner (1:23:45). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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New Rewatchables is coming on Monday.
Very excited for this one.
It is a top 10 move I want to do.
And the Rewatchables, it's time.
I realize I'd been saving, I'd been saving,
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And Spotify is doing this whole spooky thing
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Halloween.
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I'm finally breaking it down with Chris Ryan.
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This will be the ultimate
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Coming up, me and Sal
break it down in pretty boring week
seven. First, Pearl Jam.
All right, taping this a little after 8.30, West Coast time.
Cousin Sal is here, as always.
You can check him out on the Extra Points Network.
Against All Odds is over there, a whole bunch of pods.
I was just bragging about how I watched the end of Colts Niners with the sound off as I watched the new Curb Your Enthusiasm,
which you didn't think to do.
Once again, I'm so mad.
But you missed Al Michaels gave you a shout out
in like two minutes left.
You didn't hear?
No, he didn't.
That didn't happen.
I got you.
You're making that up.
Come on.
That would have sucked for you.
It was a tough gambling day today,
I think for the most part,
other than that the Pats Packers,
the most obvious tease of all time, won again.
We were talking about a lot of people doubled down on this monsoon game,
thinking, oh, under 42, the under is dropping.
Oh, I'll do under with this.
I'll do under with one of the teams I like.
And then somehow the game, 48 points, it goes over.
Everybody just got murdered all day unless you did that one tease.
I think the NFL picked this specific week. points it goes over. Everybody just got murdered all day unless you did that one tease.
I think the NFL picked this specific week. Now, I know scheduling's made ahead of time to screw the gambling. They're like, okay, ratings are up. Thursday night ratings, Sunday night ratings,
everything's up. Okay, we got them. We reeled them in. All right, now let's have six teams
off this week. So that screws everybody's fantasy lineup, right? You're going to have guys that
no one's ever heard of now on your team. And let's throw in
the Ravens are going to lose. The Chiefs are going
to lose, you know, some other
teams. And all right, when people go to double up,
we'll make, oh yeah, we'll have it rain.
It'll be torrential rain. So everyone bets
the under this. Like this was a total screwjob
day from the NFL. Thanks for
that. So we had
Case Keenum covering on Thursday
night. We had the Bengals and Titans
winning outright. We had everyone on the Eagles. That was like, for whatever reason, the most
popular pick of the week. I think the line moved two points. Raiders end up winning that.
If you bet on Falcons, Dolphins, or Panthers, Giants, you got what you deserved.
We had the two high lines, the cards cover,
but the Rams do not.
And the Rams actually
sweated that one out,
which we'll talk about
in a little bit.
And then on Sunday night,
the Colts lose.
I want to start with the Chiefs.
We have to start with the Chiefs.
It's the smart thing to do.
If we were doing a Monday morning
talk show on ESPN or Fox,
we would have to have
really hot takes about the Chiefs.
I'm going to start here.
Not with a hot take.
Kind of miss the Chiefs.
I miss what we had.
I miss you, me, House and Hinch.
We had the running joke.
Every time they fell down, 7-0, 10-0, 13-3,
we would text each other.
All right, what's the money line, Sal?
Oh, plus 120.
Oh, let's grab it.
They were this reliable juggernaut.
They could turn it on with a flip of a switch.
And now it feels like they're dead.
I think it's over, Sal.
Oh, man. I think it might
be too. I don't want to overreact.
Week 7. By the way,
speaking of the bets, remember you and I talked
last week. FanDuel should have 15-point
teases. They have all of it. You could
adjust any line you want and make a parlay.
You could have had the Raiders plus 23
and a half if you wanted. So what did I do?
I took that giant teaser you just talked about,
right? Rams, Cardinals,
Buccaneers, and I add the Chiefs
plus 10 and a half. And as I'm leaving the
house this morning, I'm like, kids,
wife, go order sushi.
We're going to eat great tonight. That is not losing.
Get the extra crab roll
whatever you want there that cannot lose and and like by like 10 50 a.m pacific time i was like oh
there's no way they're covering 10 and a half what is wrong with that it's one thing if their
defense is bad but you know what's not good as a chiefs fan when you say oh we can't score we
didn't score a touch just like the super bowl Bowl, but worse. We only had one field
goal. Disgusting, and I really don't
understand it. We did the
same dumb five-team tease on
Million Dollar Picks on Thursday. It was like minus
177. Had all the usual
suspects. Chiefs got brought
to like 10 and a half.
I was like, well, they'll throw them in.
And the same thing. It was by 11
o'clock our time in the morning. You could just see the life was out of the Chiefs. They can't get it going. They look like they haven't had a practice or even a preseason game. They look completely disjointed. There's no life. You know, you look like that Bengals Ravens game, which is a really good game. And that Bengals team, that's another one. They're locked in. You know, you can see it on the sideline. They got guys making big plays. That Chiefs, they just look like they've
been flicking that on-off switch for two years. And now when they turn it on, nothing comes on.
And I, it's, look, I don't think this is a fluke. I think the three and four thing, I think they're,
that's actually what the record should be. I was looking it up. Do you know how many teams have
made four straight Superbowls? I don't know. I wish I had thought of actually what the record should be. I was looking it up. Do you know how many teams have made four straight Super Bowls?
I don't know.
I wish I had thought of this before the year.
How many in the history of the NFL,
how many teams have made four straight Super Bowls?
Made four straight?
Four straight.
Well, so the Bills won.
We're done.
It's just the Bills.
Is that it?
Yeah.
It's the only time it's ever happened.
And you think like,
all right, the Chiefs have the D-4 game that year,
where if he's not offsides, they beat the Pats.
They make it the next year, they win the Super Bowl.
They make it the next year, they lose the Super Bowl.
So this is basically year four of that run.
It's just really hard.
Teams, so I feel like we should have had that in there.
But then you think, all right, they tripled down on offense.
Did you watch Orlando Brown today?
That was one of their big moves.
He was a fucking turnstile today.
He was getting crushed.
So they went in on first-round picks with Edwards Hilaire.
I think Hardman was the first-round pick.
And they go big on Joe Tooney.
And they go on Orlando.
And it's just like they kind of quadrupled down on offense.
And now they can't score.
I don't know what their next move is.
But, I mean, last week they scored, right?
They didn't hit their over-under, but they were at like 31 against Washington,
so that wasn't a problem.
All in one half against a bad team.
For sure, yeah.
But we're looking at it, and I get it.
Like, I don't need, maybe what we saw the last couple years
with like Travis Kelsey having 14 yards of separation,
nine yards downfield was weird.
But give me something in
between. Give me, why can't that guy get open anymore? Why is every play now he's blanketed
and screaming for a flag, a pass interference? Like, oh my God, that doesn't look right at all.
All right, I'll buy that. McCall Hardman can't get open, like can't get separation,
just never grew as a receiver. But, and Tyreek Hill have his moments, and Mahomes will run for first downs,
but we didn't see any of that.
I can't believe that they didn't score.
I mean, I was still sending you those updates.
Plus 260.
It was 14-0.
They were getting the ball in the second half.
I mean, they weren't done scoring Tennessee,
but we're like, oh, plus 260.
That's a good number.
Now, there's no number I would take with them.
You said when it was 14-0, I think it was like, what, plus 160,
something like that for the Chiefs?
Yeah, I guess it was that.
We still had 260 at one point.
I guess that was when they were down three points.
It was 17-0 and climbed to 260.
That's what it was.
They don't have it this year.
It dates back when you think to last year with that Super Bowl,
how disjointed they were.
You look at the record, right?
2018, they're 14 and five.
They had seven double digit wins.
2019, 15 and four won the Super Bowl,
10 double digit wins.
First half of 2020, they go seven and one.
They have five double digit wins.
And then you go from the second half on,
they're 12 and six. Remember last year, the second half, a're 12-6 remember last year the second half
a lot of those games were tight
even like the playoffs that Browns game
they couldn't cover for anything
so 12-6 they've only out of their last 18 games
they only have three double digit wins
they have four blowout losses
so the seeds have been planted here
for a while I think we just were ignoring
them because we just had so much
confidence in the arrogance of them and how potent they were. I wonder like over and over
again, it's like, got to take out Kelsey and Hill. You got to watch those guys. Maybe the more teams
play them, the more they figured out like, all right, just watch out for those two dudes. Don't
let Tyreek beat you deep. Play everyone back. Try to rush with four.
And, you know, throw some zones.
You know, there's been some dumb turnovers.
Like, they lead the league in, like, the most garbage turnovers of
interceptions off hands and, you know, strips and stuff like that.
But for the most part, it does seem like these guys aren't open like they were last year.
And this was the game to do it, right?
You catch the Titans after a big win against the Bills. Maybe they shouldn't have won. Maybe they
should have whatever. It's a short week for and of their seven D backs are out for their seven D
backs are out against Patrick Holmes. So, of course, I don't know whether you like them to
cover or not is one thing. Maybe that and the other narrative of Derrick Henry blowing them
open running against him. That didn't happen. 29 rushes.
By the way, can they give Derrick Henry a break on a short week?
He still gets 29 carries, for God's sakes, in a game that they're thrashing.
I mean, come on.
What are you doing, Titans?
But just the same, he wasn't what killed them this week.
I don't know what to say, but it's funny.
We go through the Chiefs schedule and look for losses.
Now I'm looking for wins.
They'll play Monday night against the Giants, and we'll go over the lines, but they should win that.
It gets tough. Green Bay at Las Vegas and Dallas are the next three. They're not too many easy
games. They have Denver twice. They have Pittsburgh. They're at Cincinnati. These
seem to be teams that could all load up on them. if you want to get to nine and eight to get that seven spot,
it's not going to be easy now.
Kyle, turn the camera on.
Uh-oh.
Chiefs aren't making the playoffs.
Oh, no.
I wish FanDuel didn't have the number up.
They don't have the number up.
But what do you think it is going into Monday?
Because they're such a public team,
it will definitely be like minus 200,
something like that,
just for the Chiefs to make the playoffs
to get a seventh seed.
I don't think...
I looked at the same schedule stuff you did.
There's two problems.
One is that they can't flip that switch anymore.
Their defense can't stop anyone.
They have some good offenses coming their way.
Right.
It's like one of the
things that sucks about
when you,
you know,
when you do well
the previous season,
you just have to play
good teams.
Sometimes,
it doesn't work out that way.
Like,
we're going to talk about
the Bucs schedule
in a second,
where for some reason
the Bucs have the easiest
schedule ever.
KC,
the opposite.
A lot of good quarterbacks
left for them.
I was just going to say,
you got Rodgers,
you got Carr twice, you have
Dak, you have Herbert,
and you have Burrow.
Right. They're not
sweeping the Raiders this year.
I don't think so. They'll probably split with them,
right? And then, you know, you think
at the end, week 17, at
Cincinnati, normally that's like,
Cincinnati's fucking good.
Going down the line, that's
a monster schedule. Even like
home Giants, like the Giants defense
was really good today against Carolina.
I don't think
they make the playoffs. I think
it's going to be 10-7 to get
in in the AFC. Oh, you do?
If you look at the two conferences,
I think the AFC is better than the NFC this
year. I don't think there's any question.
I think you're wrong.
I think the top five teams...
I'm not talking about top five.
I'm talking depth-wise.
I'm talking from that 6 to 10 range.
No, whatever.
I think you know the five teams.
You know five teams that are going to make it in the NFC.
And you know four or five teams in the AFC.
And everybody else could be 9 and 8.
Really.
We just saw Colts team.
I joke that they might be the best
team. I'm already saying they're the best team that didn't make the playoffs, but they could
make it. They could make it at nine and eight for sure. Here's the difference. The NFC will cross
off Arizona, Tampa, the Packers, the Rams, and Dallas. Sure. I got two spots left. Here are the nominees. Saints, Vikings, Atlanta, Bears, Panthers, Seahawks, 49ers.
Those teams all suck.
You go to the AFC, let's say Cincinnati.
We'll say the Ravens, Bills, and let's say the Chargers,
I think are the four definites.
Yeah, it's tougher to make the playoffs than the AFC.
I don't think that means the AFC is better.
I didn't mention the Titans yet.
Right. I got the Raiders. I have the Browns. I in the AFC. I don't think that means the AFC is better. I didn't mention the Titans yet. I got the
Raiders. I have
the Browns. I have the Steelers. I
think the Pats would be the sixth best NFC
team. The Colts today spanked
San Francisco. Six and seven are better.
The Chiefs. Yep.
I think the AFC is like, you
could say there's 11 teams
that on any given day could give somebody
a really good game. Whereas in the NFC, I feel
like it's five or six. I agree.
But once you get past that wild card round, the
NFC is, I mean, we're talking two months,
three months ahead of time here, but
I'm telling you. I think it's 10 and 7
in AFC. You think
nine and eight? I think nine and eight because I think those
West teams beat up on each other. I don't know who
you have getting in. I mean, it looks like you have to
give Cincinnati. Is Cincinnati minus money to make
the playoffs now.
So,
I mean,
so impressive.
We had them in underdog parlay of the week.
Cause I felt like that was one of those,
either they're winning or they're getting killed.
Yeah.
And from the get go speed wise,
they hung.
I thought they gave the Ravens a ton of problems with their defense against
the Ravens. Like it was really hard for the Ravens a ton of problems with their defense against the Ravens.
Like it was really hard for the Ravens.
These guys step up defensively.
In addition to,
you know,
chase being a lock for offensive rookie of the year and,
and no more,
more,
no one more in sync with their quarterback than him and borrow.
Like it's phenomenal.
Watch.
Can,
can you believe we got Jefferson and chase and back to back years?
Yeah, that was fun.
I mean, Chase is like out of control how good he is.
It's not just that he's wide open four times a game.
Right.
This time, the Ravens were like, we're not letting Chase beat us.
And what did he have, over 200 yards?
201.
But then he'll have like those wow plays.
Yeah.
And Burrow seems like he's in tune with them.
I like their running backs.
I like the mixing and Perrine combo.
It's really tough.
Perrine is like, you know, he's coming in.
They have tight ends that can get you the ball.
They have multiple receivers.
And, you know, I don't think we're breaking any ground by saying
they announced themselves as a real contender today,
but I think they are.
It's crazy.
They lost two games by three points, right?
Isn't that their... Yeah. Aren't those their only losses?
Yeah, they lost to the Bears. Oh, God.
They lost to the Bears and the Packers
by three points.
Didn't Burrow get hurt in that Bears game?
Yeah, I think the answer
is probably yes for anything.
Unless it's talking
about the last two games, he was hurt in almost everything.
Yeah, it's funny. You look back at that Minnesota game week games, he was hurting almost everything. Yeah. Yeah.
It's funny.
You look back at that Minnesota game week one,
which it was,
they won an OT and you think like,
ah,
two 500 teams who cares.
Now it's like,
maybe the Vikings are a little bit better.
Um,
going back to the chiefs for a second,
the,
uh,
Reed said,
quote,
we got to eliminate the turnovers in the penalties.
Again,
these are things that we haven't and haven't been common to us.
I'm seeing things that I haven't seen before.
We just got to fix it.
And the players, they know that.
Dude, you already reached that point before this game.
Yeah.
Even last week when they beat Washington, they sucked for the first half
and they haven't been able to play two good halves all season.
Well, he's saying he's seeing things that he hasn't seen
because he had that weird shield, that fogged up
shield in front of him, right, for the longest time.
Get rid of that and you'll be fine.
Now, I agree, but the non-scoring,
the not scoring, I know they didn't score in the first half
against the Washington team, but not
scoring at all over 60 minutes
against the Titans, that decimated
secondary is something
very, very discouraging.
Well, how about
they spent all this resources and assets on their offensive line,
which seems like it's worse than it was last year.
Every third and 10, the Titans were basically, you know, they'd put five,
they'd put six in the line, but they're always just rushing four and dropping people back.
And those four people were getting to Mahomes over and over and over again.
It's unbelievable.
It's so much easier to just blame the defense,
and they can't even do that anymore.
If you blame the defense and say,
give me Pat Mahomes and the last team with the ball last wins,
I'll take my guy every time.
And it's just not even the case anymore.
Well, we always talk.
I mean, we've been doing this 15 years now.
We always talk about every year there's a team in the first six, seven weeks
that just gets killed on the spread
week after week, loses
everybody a ton of money, and we keep going,
no, no, this is the week they're going to turn around.
No, no, it's going to be the... I think this is
the team. I think it's the Chiefs.
I think they're broken.
I think they're
broken. I don't think this is one of those,
no, no, they'll figure it out. I think they suck.
They're terrible on defense
and offensively
they can't really run the ball.
Mahomes is getting the shit kicked out of him.
I mean, it looked like he got knocked out today.
And they have two
phenomenal offensive
players, but so do a bunch of teams in the
league.
If they fight their way to
9-8 and get that seven seed,
and we saw who they have to go through to get to nine and eight and get
the seven and play the two,
who is what's going to be the,
the Titans or,
uh,
or the Bengals.
I get,
you still,
you're not going to bet big money on the home team there.
That's for sure.
All right.
We're doing it.
Mike and the dog.
Let's go.
Then we do this.
Chiefs are three and four. Yeah. Week eight, Monday night. All right, we're doing it. Mike and the dog. Let's go. Can we do this?
Chiefs are three and four.
Yeah.
Week eight, Monday night,
home for the Giants on ESPN.
What do you got, dog?
Who am I?
Are you Mike or dog?
I think I'm your dog.
I'm usually your dog.
Mike, that is a must, must, must win on ESPN.
Give me a break.
The Mannings are counting that game.
That's a win.
That's a win. Dog, if you lose thatinals. Count it. Count it on that game. That's a win. That's a win.
Doug, if you lose that game, you leave Spagnola in New York.
He doesn't even come on the plane.
He's done.
Get rid of him.
Week nine, Green Bay, home.
Boy, Mike, I really want to give him a win here.
In Arrowhead.
I think Aaron Rodgers takes care of business. That's a loss.
Four and five
next week at Las Vegas
dog NBC. This Vegas
turns out they didn't need Gruden.
Didn't need him.
Mike, I'm going to give them a split.
I'm going to give them a split with Las Vegas
and I'll say on the road
they will lose that game.
Home Dallas week week 11?
Mike McCarthy against Andy Reid.
I have to give it.
I don't care what kind of shape Dallas is in.
I'm giving it to the Chiefs.
Oh, wait a second.
I'm breaking character.
You don't think you can beat KC in week 11?
I don't think they can beat him.
You're going to score 40 points.
What are you talking about?
I'm saying tickets are as low as $230.
All right.
Rest of the way, they got Denver.
They got Vegas.
They're at the Rams.
Home, Pittsburgh.
At Cincy.
At Denver.
I think that's 9-8 at best.
Yeah, I think they might be 6-8 going into those last three.
That is rough.
I'm sorry, Chiefs fans. Can I give you one scenario?
I think 9-8.
They're 8-8
going into Week 18 against Denver
at Denver.
They have to win to have a chance to make
the playoffs.
They lose in Denver. Wow.
That's happened before. No,
couldn't you see that, though? The Chiefs are 9-point favorites in Denver. Oh, they're definitely Denver. Wow. That's happened before. No, couldn't you see that though? Like the Chiefs are nine point favorites in Denver.
Oh, they're definitely going to win.
And then if they win,
and then all of a sudden they're down 17-3.
Here's another scenario.
They're eight and eight going into that week.
And then the Goodell in the league says,
you know what?
This was dumb to add a week.
Whatever your record is, that's it.
Eight and eight.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, we need nine.
Okay.
And that's that.
They're out. I'll tell you, record is. That's it. Eight. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, we need nine. Okay. And that's that.
They're out. I'll tell you, I'm going to give you seven teams that I like much more than the Chiefs right now. Um, in the, in the AFC Cincy. Yes. AFC South team. We know that's
making it. So there's two Baltimore Buffalo Chargers now I have five
the Raiders have a two game lead
on them right now
and an easier schedule
the Raiders have a bye
and then go play against the Giants
although the Chiefs play against the Giants
if the Raiders split with them
they're six and three
all they would have to do is go
four and four
the rest of the way they make it. I think they
have to be put in. They went today
without Jacobs and
who was the other guy?
Darren Waller.
And he was great. He was 31
for 34.
I still like the stupid Browns team.
I think they're going to have a better record than the Chiefs.
I don't know. I have to see
fewer than four guys come out
every play to
injury, but I'm with you.
I hate the Browns right now, but what am I going to do?
No, listen. Of course you can name seven
teams playing better than the... And you didn't even
say the Colts, right?
The Colts could be there too.
I just don't think the Chiefs have it this year.
I've seen enough. I've watched every game.
I think I'm out.
That was embarrassing today.
Maybe, you know, maybe it's time for Andy.
He's been coaching forever, right?
He's been coaching since what?
The mid-90s?
Maybe it's time.
You can't look sloppier, more disjointed,
more lifeless than they looked in a game
that was really important for them today.
I'm out.
We're going to take a break, come back,
talk about the Bengals and some other stuff.
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really boring
they took out too many teams
this week
it was bad
this was bullshit
good pumpkin picking
day for the family
and if you did
you can't go back
I mean I don't regret
staying in and watching football
but
yeah this would be the day
it was terrible
it was the average
margin of victory
before that night game
was 21.8 or something.
Yeah.
My daughter, like about 2.30 our time.
So like about halfway through the late games, she was like, hey, do you want to go downtown,
get a coffee?
And I'm like, yeah, I actually do.
Really?
I left the games for like 45 minutes.
I was like, what am I going to miss?
The Bucks are killing the Bears.
Like, what's possibly going to happen? Well, sees are killing the Bears. What's possibly going to happen?
You were set up there. You're a loser for doing that.
That's just wrong. Turn your back on football.
I'm sorry.
Bengals-Ravens.
Did that game make you think
more of the Bengals
and no opinion on the Ravens
or more of the Bengals and a little less
on the Ravens? I had some work to do with the Bengals.
So I've come around full circle with the Bengals way late to the party.
I get it.
They're good.
Like I mentioned, only two losses by three points.
They had that one win by three points against Minnesota.
But this defense is what I needed to see something from.
And, you know, they held the Ravens in check. And they stepped on their throat.
And there was a little bit of Tom Brady in there.
Like, they just don't...
Not going to let you back in this game.
Sorry.
I don't care where this game is being played.
And I do like them.
I know it's early.
I know that's a tough-ass division.
But they're one or two, I think, in that division
when it comes down to it in January.
It was the first team that we've seen who seemed to have at least could match Lamar's speed.
You're not taking Lamar out of the game, but at least they seem to have guys who athletically belonged on the same field with him.
I thought Lamar had some really good, I think his deep throws this year, even like throws that were incomplete, that were incomplete because the guy stepped out of bounds as he was catching and stuff like that.
But he's like flinging it this year.
Much better.
And I know people will be like, oh, two years ago.
But I don't know.
He just, he looks like he's really, really comfortable.
Yeah, he just had to get that one bowel movement out.
And now he's good.
He's good to go.
I thought Bateman had a couple moments in that game.
The Ravens, I don't know what to make of them
because last week, they completely shut down the Chargers
who have an explosive passing attack.
This week, they had no chance at all of shutting down the Bengals
who have just as an explosive.
So it's like, so the Ravens have a good pass defense or not?
What is the jury supposed to say coming out with a verdict
after watching those last two games?
Because I have no idea.
No, I don't know either.
I'll say this.
Like, the one thing, like, everyone's like,
oh, they're a lucky team.
They shouldn't have beat the Chiefs.
They shouldn't have beat the Lions.
You know, who was another one?
Oh, the Colts was a bad one that night game.
Like, I think they're just good,
and I don't know if they're in better shape than other teams
or what.
I said this last week,
but don't sleep on them in the fourth quarter,
and that's why it was so impressive to see what the Bengals did to them. But, you know,
we're only a week away removed from what they did to the Chargers who everyone had
going to the Superbowl too. So I don't want to overreact too much.
Do you believe way more in the Titans or just a little bit more after what they did to Buffalo
Kansas City? You know, I got the Clay Travis text to deal with all the time.
So I have to hate the Titans.
And I just tell them, I was like, hey, five words, dude.
You lost to the Jets.
And so I think you have to win six games in a row
after losing to the Jets to prove something.
But yeah, like I said, I mean, it's very impressive.
They play the Colts this week.
They could probably wrap it up with a win, right?
Yeah, you would think.
I guess here's what I would say about that Jets game.
They had no receivers,
and it was just one of those dumb games, right?
And I think after that game,
myself included, I'm out, and the Titans, they're done.
And it might have just been a dumb game
where they didn't have receivers. They fell behind.
A couple weird
bounces happen. All of a sudden, they're losing to the
Jets. Zach Wilson makes a couple big plays.
I think we can forgive them.
I'll give you that.
They're better than the Jets.
I don't know. I mean, if Mahomes can't
expose it, I don't know who will, but you have to
think that secondary is going to be a problem
at some point. But then again, it's going to get more difficult to tackle Derrick Henry.
I mean, Derrick Henry going into this week had 51 more carries
than whoever was in second.
Was it mixed? I don't know who was in second.
But 51 carries, like this is not week 14.
It was 51 through like six weeks.
It's like eight or nine more carries than the next guy per game.
It's amazing. We've more carries than the next guy per game. It's amazing.
We've never seen anything like this guy.
It's funny.
He has less in common with everyone else who plays his position.
Right.
Than anybody since when Moss was playing.
And Moss just had no, there's nobody remotely like him.
Right.
That's a smart way to think of it.
I've never.
Yeah.
When you think of Henry,
it's like,
who are his peers?
Who does he measure himself for?
He's so different
than every person
at the position.
Yeah.
He's just heads and shoulders above.
It's funny.
The Titans and the Colts
I think are both better
than I expected.
I thought that was going to be
a garbage division
of like 7 and 10
could take it,
stuff like that.
Titans are definitely at least an
above 500 team.
Then you have the Colts.
You know,
I don't know how
impressive that Niners win was tonight, but if
you're a decent team with a chance to make the
playoffs, you should probably beat
a pretty weird
Niners team that has already had a bunch
of injuries. I will say I've never been able to root for Carson Wentz
because he was on the Eagles.
Me neither.
I'm a Cowboys fan.
Right, yeah.
So he didn't factor into the Super Bowl.
I still blame him.
I know, for sure.
And not even great numbers today.
17 for 26, 150.
He cuts down on the mistakes
and this was a great game for him.
The rain game was going to...
Because he sidearms most of his passes, right?
Yeah.
Where Jimmy G's coming over the top, and Jimmy G's having trouble anyway.
So, boy, that sidearm release in the rain really helped.
And the defense is as good as anybody.
That Quiddie Paye finally had a big game, I think, for the Colts.
So, look out for them.
One of those – you're right.
They're going to rack up the wins against the Jags and the Texans
and they're going to have
an artificially good record probably.
And I kind of think they're good anyway.
I actually do.
Well, that's why,
going back to the Chiefs discussion,
the Colts,
who,
you look at the rest of their schedule,
if they can somehow beat Tennessee
and they're home this week,
so if they're going to beat Tennessee, this would be the week, but they still have the Jets, they have
Jacksonville, they have Houston, and they have Jacksonville again.
So four pretty close to guaranteed wins, and they're three and four right now, and if they
can beat, then all of a sudden you just need two more after that.
Yeah, you're right.
I didn't realize it was even that easy.
I had Schraker and I had
the Colts. We did
three underdog parlays mix and match and the Colts
were in two of them. So I actually
had to root for Wentz.
And it was like trying heroin.
It was exciting. I knew I shouldn't do it.
It was like
going to the dark side. I haven't been
on Wentz in like two years because I'm
terrified of him. It's nothing worse than having money on the Colts and then he just gives the ball to the dark side. I haven't been on Wentz in like two years because I'm terrified of him. It's nothing worse than having money on the Colts
and then he just gives the ball to the other team.
Every time he went back to pass, I was terrified.
No, I know, but he looks like he's confident, right?
When he goes back.
I know it's a dumb thing to say.
You kind of saw the same thing with Phil Rivers too,
but now there's good results on the other end of that pass.
It's strange to see after like a year of misery i laughed when he was up there for
comeback player of the year but you know it's top three or four right now do you want to guess
so it's a big game for kyle shanahan because if he wins he could have climbed over 450 for a career
winning percentage.
Do you want to guess what his career record is?
Well, would this be, I know it's bad because this I think will be four out of five losing years,
right? I think it's three out of four before this year. Someone actually sent this to me.
What is it? He's 31 and 39 career. I'm going to play a little game with you. The genius Kyle Shanahan.
Everybody falls all over themselves.
Talk about just what an amazing play caller.
Wow.
People put him in like the top six coaches.
31 and 39 career.
I'm going to give you some coaches that you've rooted for over the years
or bet against, bet for,
whether they had a better or worse winning percentage
than Kyle Sheehan.
Wasn't he a ringer talent at some point?
Do you really want to do this?
He's not coming back for season two.
Okay.
No, he wasn't a ringer talent.
He came on a pod.
Great guy.
I'm not criticizing him as a human.
I'm just saying,
if you're going to be a genius,
can you have a 450 winning percentage?
No, I think we're beyond that.
But the thing, all right, well, I'll play.
I'm going to give you some coaches.
Walt Michaels, better or worse winning percentage
than Kyle Shanahan.
Walt Michaels, the famous nose picker.
Picked his nose on live TV more
than anyone in the history of football.
Richard Todd,
they made the playoffs. AJ Dewey
I think was Walt Michaels those years.
Yeah.
I'll say less than 450.
No, more.
Really?
454.
Okay.
Let's go with Tony Sperano.
What?
No relation to Tony Sperano.
Tony Sperano, 73 career games.
Better or worse winning percentage than Kyle Shanahan?
He had that many?
Well, I get the game now.
Everyone's going to be better, right?
But they had that many?
Not necessarily.
Better or worse?
All right, better.
Worse.
Shit, I'm not good at this.
You're not good at this.
All right.
This one's for 10 grand.
Let's do this for 10 grand.
This one.
Well, let's go Norv Turner.
237 career games.
Norv's got to have a better.
Well, that's a lot of games.
237.
So, for 45%,
did he win 105?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's better.
48.
48.
Okay.
0.3%.
114.
122. All right. Jerry%. 114.122.
All right.
Jerry Glanville.
One of the most absurd coaches we've ever had in the league
who you couldn't believe he was in the playoffs
when you saw him on the sideline.
Right, right.
Yeah, he had such a presence.
You feel like you're adding 7% or 8% to his win total
just because he is kind of a
loud mouth at the reporting. I'll say
better.
He was better. 46.5.
How about
Rex Ryan?
Maligned. Maligned
as a coach in multiple cities.
Now stuck on television.
Rex Ryan. Better. Considered to be a failure as head coach. He stuck on television. Rex Ryan. Better.
Considered to be a failure as head coach.
He was also better. 480.
He was 61 and 66.
Alright, last one.
Jay Gruden.
Jay Gruden, who
I still feel the Raiders are going to hire
next year as a head coach.
Probably not.
No, he's less. Yeah, he is less. 41.8. Alright, last one. coach. Probably not. No, no. He's less.
He's less.
Yeah, he is less.
41.8.
Yeah.
All right.
Last, last one.
Bonus.
Herm Edwards.
This is a tough one.
This is really the final exam.
Herm Edwards.
He, 128 games for Herm Edwards.
Wow.
He had that many games?
Yeah.
So that's twice as many as you just said?
Or almost twice as many?
It's like 55 more than
Shane
alright
I mean he's on there
he's on
yeah
54 and 74
42
the guys
if you
if you look at
pro football
the guys
three above
Kyle Shanahan
are Joe Philbin
Dick Nolan
and Walt Michaels
and the three below
are George Wilson
Chip Kelly
and Sam Weish
I guess my point is maybe let's hold the genius thing Dick Nolan and Walt Michaels. And the three below are George Wilson, Chip Kelly and Sam Weish.
I guess my point is maybe let's hold the genius thing.
Let's just hold it.
Let's let him get to 500.
I agree. The one thing that the 49ers
had is injury, injury, injury.
They always seem like they have to reset.
But I think you're right. At some point
this is your team, right?
You miss Ricky Mostert. We get it. That would be ideal in the backfield instead of these other guys. I think you're right. Like at some point, this is your team, right? Like you, you miss most dirt.
We get it.
That would be ideal in the backfield instead of these other guys.
Right.
Kittle seems to get hurt every year.
Yeah.
So maybe factor that into your thing.
This is kind of it.
And if you want to hang in that West,
you gotta,
you gotta be good.
You gotta win more than every other week.
And you traded three firsts for Trey Lance,
who seems like he's two years away.
Right.
And you could add Mac and just kept your first-round picks,
and Mack looked awesome today.
Anyway, speaking of the Pats.
I'll give you credit.
In cap letters, you were like, the Pats are not losing.
I was like, the Pats are winning today.
I was like, nope.
The Jets were my upset, and I'm sorry, Jet fans.
That's it.
Tom Brady has nothing to do with this. You're just going to lose to the Patriots.
They haven't won since what? 2011?
Tack on another
10 years. It's going to be 20 years
before you beat this team.
Belichick just won't allow it to happen.
He hates the Jets.
We were throwing. It was like 45-13.
They had their backup quarterback
in and he's thrown 40 yards downfield.
Mm-hmm.
Richard Seymour got his number retired today.
Right.
For Patriots Hall of Fame.
And they told the story during the broadcast.
They asked him what game he wanted to have the number retired.
And he said, make it the Jets game.
It'll be like a homecoming in college.
So funny. Yeah. It's like a homecoming game. What a fucking insult to the Jets game. It'll be like a homecoming in college. So funny.
Yeah.
It's like a homecoming game.
What a fucking insult to the Jets.
That's crazy.
Jets fans don't hate themselves enough.
And now it's like this guy picked the Jets as their homecoming game.
It's professional football.
He's lucky.
That's all he did.
Richard Seymour steps on the field today.
He probably would have sacked Mike White three and a half times.
Yeah, he definitely could have got.
And how is Mike White their backup?
How do they not have like an old crafty guy?
So that's the thing for everybody who says,
hey, just put the rookie in right away.
It's like, hey, you know a good way to guarantee that?
Make Mike White your backup.
Then your rookie's definitely getting in week one and probably sticking around two more weeks
longer than he should have.
I'm shocked at Zach Wilson
and I know that team has other problems,
but I thought he would step up
today. I really did.
My most disappointing one, I really
like the Bears getting all those points
today and I thought
they would have, I thought it was going to be
like a 17-10 type game
where they hung around, they were super
conservative,
big pass rush.
No.
Fields just got demolished the entire game.
I couldn't tell how much of it was his fault
and how much of it was the Bucs were just in his face the entire game.
But they were never in the game for a single moment.
Well, I don't have to tell you this.
I mean, you lived it.
But Brady does a thing where all the drives that could be threes or sevens.
And then by the time you look up, it's 21-3.
And you're the other dog on the road.
And you don't have a chance.
But you and I called it.
I think we might have even done the Mike and the Mad Dog thing.
We went over the Bears' schedule.
We figured them at 2-5.
And Nagy's first coach fired.
We didn't know about any of the screwed nonsense at the time, of course.
They're 3-4.
And their win was against the Raiders.
That was the screwy.
They could have been 2-5.
They could still get there.
I mean, they can't get to 2-5, but they can get to where we think they will.
Well, from what you saw from that game today,
would it shock you if Matt Nagy was relieved of his duties tomorrow?
Because I wouldn't be shocked.
The Bears looked completely overmatched and seem like they had no plan.
I guess. I don't know what the club
house is like if he's lost the
team yet, but it does
look like Justin Fields has a ways to go
to get over the hump there.
They have injured running
backs. It's a weird committee.
Their defense should be better at this point
every game and not just every other game
or every third game.
So I don't know what it is like in the clubhouse.
Like you said, the NFC is weak.
So three and four is a candidate for the playoffs at this point.
Yeah.
Soon enough, it could happen.
Yeah, I wonder if there's a two and five team right now that still could make the playoffs realistically.
Well, San Francisco's two.
Are they two and five or not?
I don't know if that team's any good.
No, I know.
Of course not.
Yeah, right?
Are there any other two and five teams?
Two and five seems like...
They're two and four.
Sorry, they had the bye.
So Seattle's two and four
with potentially Russ coming back
in a couple weeks.
So the Eagles and Giants are two and five. I think those are cross-offs, right? Yeah, those are cross-offs. So Seattle's 2-4 with potentially Russ coming back in a couple weeks.
So the Eagles and Giants are 2-5.
I think those are cross-offs, right?
Yeah, those are cross-offs.
I actually have the Washington team almost below those teams at this point.
You might have your division done before the Thanksgiving game. Wouldn't that be nice?
Wouldn't that just be nice for once?
This is like you've turned into the Patriots.
We've done a role reversal.
Yeah. Yeah.
I like it.
You used to get so mad when the
Patriots would have the seven-game lead
heading into December 1st
in their own division. Yeah, it was obnoxious.
It was really obnoxious. Now you get to live it.
You've got to just be
riding high. I'll say this about
Tampa, though.
They played New Orleans this week.
Who's going to beat them? Did you see their schedule?
They play New Orleans this week. They have a bye week.
This is the rest of their schedule.
Washington, Giants,
Indy, Atlanta,
Buffalo, one hard one,
Saints,
Carolina, Jets,
Carolina. Carolina my God.
Carolina apparently sucks,
which I think was one of the revelations.
So they basically have one game
against an above 500 team
the rest of the way, Buffalo.
I don't think any of the other teams I've mentioned,
except maybe the Saints could even go nine and eight.
We have to look at that
because I still,
I keep seeing 12 and a half as they're over on there.
Now that might go over, but they should definitely
have 10 wins going into
Panthers, Jets, Panthers, the last three.
Well, the one I was thinking
was, I think
Tampa and Dallas, just betting
both of those to win the NFC,
one of them
is going to be one and one of them is going to be two.
And that one is going to be huge this year
to not only get the bye week, but then you have
the home field. I like the
cut of your jibs. I just think
those are the two teams. I don't
really see... I haven't
seen anybody else that I think... Nobody gives the
Packers any credit. Nobody loves... And even
today, they won a little bit ugly. They still
covered the spread. People are giving
away free money. It's like they're trying
to give away crypto to homeless camp. People are giving away free money. It's like they're trying to give away crypto to
that homeless camp. People
are like, what? What is this crap? But just
bet them. They're going to win. They're going to win 12
games. It's fine. I know. I
had them in my big tees this week, and
I sweated it out. Fucking Heineken's
running around doing stuff, and
you're just like, oh my god. I
really have to sweat. And then Heineken
does Heineken things and gives you the ball back.
But there were moments in that game where I was really sweating.
No, sure.
And they don't win 43-9 at home, right?
That's the thing you want them to do.
That's not like Buffalo will do that.
Tampa Bay obviously does it.
Arizona.
I mean, so you're taking the Cowboys and Bucs.
We haven't seen the Cardinals lose a game yet.
I'm taking the Cowboys and Bucs. We haven't seen the Cardinals lose a game yet. I'm taking the Cowboys and Bucs.
I would rather go heavy on those two.
And like Kyler today,
he got the shit kicked out of him again today
in a meaningless game against Houston.
Took like four huge hits in that game.
I am not confident that he's making it four months
without being dinged up.
I just think he... I don't like the hits he takes.
Do you? No, I don't love him either.
I like how he spreads it out, and
Zach Ertz is a nice little improvement there.
Red zone. Hit him
at the 35, and he ends up in the
end zone. I think he hit all three receivers
for touchdowns, right? He did.
It was Hopkins and
AJ Green.
I have legitimate durability concerns
about them.
Really good team, though.
Really fun to watch.
They're fast.
Explosive.
The Ertz thing
was a fun addition.
Yeah, well, you're not
going to get much
out of watching them
play the Texans,
but they take care
of business.
But the Texans
and the Lions,
I think, play hard
for shitty teams.
The Lions, definitely.
Is there any way to pick a bottom five?
Texans, Lions, Jets?
I have it.
Let's do it.
Texans, Lions, Jets.
We may...
All right.
And then maybe two NFC East teams?
No, I have...
Starting from worst up, Houston, Detroit, Jacksonville, Jets, Miami.
I think that's the bottom five.
Houston, Detroit, Jacksonville, Jets, Miami.
Yeah.
I think Miami has to be bottom five.
Man, you talk about a coach that, I know he won double digit last year,
and we'll guess the lines in a second, but they are, what a downfall that is.
The Falcons just dying to give games away.
They can't wait.
Oh, my God.
It's a going out of business sale.
They're like, all right, here you go.
Oh, Matt Ryan.
All right, I don't want to throw an interception.
I'll fumble.
Just hit me from behind.
So I fumble.
Like, really?
You're not going to take this from us?
All right.
What can we do?
We have to beat you.
I mean, that says so much about this Dolphins team.
Is it possible
that Matt Ryan
has had a turnover
with the lead
in more games
than anybody
over the last 30 years?
It's like karaoke
at this point.
Yeah.
This time I was watching
and like,
oh, I can't,
I wonder what the Ryan turnover
is going to be.
And then he gave it to them.
Miami comes down.
Tua actually made
a couple of plays.
are you out on Tua?
Did you say it was like karaoke? What does that mean?
It's just like cue up
A5. Here's Matt Ryan
turnover.
It's raining, man.
I'm out on Tua. I don't know where you are. I just don't
think he's a winning starting quarterback.
I don't either.
You know who else doesn't? The Dolphins.
I wonder how much it matters
that every other sports break-in
is about a potential to it.
Like, all right, let's do it already.
What needs to happen?
We're not ever going to solve this thing
with the women and Tashaun Watson in time
for the end of the year.
So is it happening in the next week
or is it happening in two years?
I think it's going to be Carolina.
That's where he's going.
I think that team's more aggressive and probably closer to being a Superbowl
team.
Um,
and you think like they signed Gilmore.
I mean the McCaffrey to Chuba Hubbard drop off.
Holy shit.
That Chuba Hubbard,
like there's a reason he's a backup.
Yeah.
The play where Darnold had the safety,
the safety got set up
because Hubbard dropped a wide-open screen pass
over the middle
that would have given them some room.
Like, he's just,
he's like Bizarro McCaffrey.
What the hell happened to Sam Darnold, though?
He led the league in rushing a few weeks ago.
He lost his confidence, though.
This is what happened with the Jets.
I guess it's not what he signed up for. He gave up a second rounder for We lost his confidence, though. This is what happened with the Jets. I guess it's not
what he signed up for
without McCaffrey.
I guess it's not exactly
what we signed up for
and what he signed up for,
but...
I guess.
You think...
You got to beat the Giants.
This team is decimated.
Everybody out.
The Giants had everyone out.
The Titans had everyone out.
And those games
weren't close for a minute.
Dimes
was okay in there.
Like, he actually looked... He looked really good, I thought, today. Good receiver. close for a minute. Dimes was okay in there. He actually
looked really good, I thought,
today. Good receiver.
Hey, this episode of the Bill Simmons
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All right. Let's guess the lines.
Week eight.
Oh man. It's the first time I got sad.
Why are you sad?
We got...
Week 8.
Now it's like we're headed toward Halloween,
which heads us toward Thanksgiving.
And then all of a sudden, we're half...
I know.
You're right.
All right.
Well, you beat the Jets.
You have three wins and two of them are against the Jets.
Don't be so sad.
It's going to be great.
I still...
I like my team.
I think my team is going to be
heard from down the stretch.
Do you like them better than the Colts right now?
I mean, I know you like them better,
but...
I think they're in that mix with the
Colts and Titans and Chiefs
and all those teams. I think there's like seven
AFC teams like that. But
at least with us,
the arrow's pointing up,
you know?
Yeah.
Today was the first complete
game they played
where it looked like
our offensive coordinator
finally showed up
for the season.
I don't know where the fuck
he was the first six games.
Thursday night,
really good one.
Thursday night's a good
TV night this week.
Cardinals-Packers
in Arizona.
What do you mean?
What am I missing?
What else?
There's good hoops.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Then look ahead.
There's some good hoops.
World Series, that starts on Tuesday, right?
Tuesday, yeah.
So that'll be an off day.
Yeah, so no World Series game.
Yeah, off day.
This is tough.
I got to start a new streak here
right 11 in a row done
now I gotta start over
you're counting the one where
you pick the game but it didn't cover
you stop with that what do you want me to do
you counting that
first of all I saw your piece
last Thursday you did a whole piece
about how your amazing streak and telling
people that was like the ultimate self-jinx I've ever seen.
I know. What were you trying to do?
Why didn't you pet a black cat?
I wanted somebody to give me recognition
because I know once it's over, it's over.
And now it's over.
Well, you certainly did everything you could to end it.
I've never seen somebody
obey less jinx rules.
The defensive line for the freaking Broncos
did everything to relieve me of this record.
My God. Listen, you bet against
Case Keenum. You can't do that.
I need one mistake from him.
I need one. Where was the one mistake?
You can guarantee with him.
And then they pulled you back in with the
touchdown.
Alright, Thursday night.
I got the cards
three and a half over the Packers.
That's what you're saying?
Or you saw...
You're just looking at the line.
That's my bet.
That's my pick.
That's exactly what it is.
I said two and a half.
Yeah.
You hit it exactly.
You said two and a half.
So you think neutral field Packers would be favored over the Packers?
I'm always a Packers guy.
I always think they're better than everybody else does.
I didn't want to pull the trigger on the three yet.
But... It's a tough one.
How do you bet against the 7-0 Cardinals at this point?
They lose that game too, right?
I'm sorry.
I'm just going through it in my head.
Green Bay's lost in...
They lost the playoff game in Arizona.
I'm just trying to think all the times.
Wasn't there a Super Bowl in Arizona?
Oh, God.
Yeah, you're right.
They've had some good Arizona games.
Yeah.
That was the Hail Mary game that year.
Right.
Yep. We watch it at Romo.
Yeah.
That was when we knew Romo was going to be a good announcer.
Not that he was going to make $18 million a year,
but we saw it firsthand.
I think we helped him, actually.
Did we?
Yeah, he was like C+.
And they're like, no, you should say this.
No, you should say this.
That's true.
We did coach him a lot.
I remember that.
Sunday Marquee, I'll let you pick.
Is it Colts Titans or is it Chargers Pats?
Or is it Bucs Saints?
Give it your game, I think.
Oh, that's nice of you.
Yeah, why not?
All right.
Chargers Pats.
It's in LA.
Are you going to this?
I'm not going. Why? I'm not going.
Why? I'm not going. I like watching
football at home.
This is a late game and you'll have
three other games that you don't care about.
It's Halloween. Halloween's my favorite day of the year.
Oh, that's the other thing. Alright.
Well, I have it really bad. My team's actually playing at night.
I just want to say, I think this
could be the largest collection
of Boston transplants
in one LA arena
that we've ever had
wow
I think there's going to be
50,000 Boston fans
at this game
maybe more
interesting
including nephew Kyle
who's ditching our podcast
to go
he is
good for you Kyle
Kyle said fuck you guys.
I'm out.
I'm going to root for my guys.
No, Kyle, you can go,
but just try to get back in a half hour.
No, he didn't want to.
Kyle's going to go.
He's going to have 10 drinks.
He's going to be Ubering home.
He's never getting home.
We won't see him till Monday.
No, we'll see him maybe the following Sunday.
Yeah.
So I was thinking about this
because we went to some really good Red Sox Angels games
in the early 2000s where there were some really good Red Sox Angels games in the early 2000s
where there were a lot of Red Sox fans there.
But there's never been...
And, you know, obviously,
Staples Center, there's Clipper games
where there would be like...
Before the Clippers got good,
there would be 14,000 Celtics fans
and 3,000 Clipper fans.
This is going to be like 50,000 Boston fans.
So if you hate Boston,
you're probably not going to enjoy the crowd this year.
Well, you say it's the biggest
in any... I'm trying to think.
Well, it's the first time we've
had a Boston game
in an LA
football stadium like this. Well, remember
they gave out... It wasn't a sporting event,
but they gave out asshole pills at Dodger
Stadium and then like 80,000
Patriot fans showed up. I'm sorry. I forgot about
that. Yeah. Yeah, you're sorry. I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah,
you're right. Forgot about that. I have, uh, I have the chargers. I factored this into my pick
because I feel like this is a borderline home game for the Pats. Chargers by four. All right.
I went higher. I said four and a half. It is five and a half. Ooh, Vegas zone. Vegas zone. They had a bye, right? The Chargers?
Yeah.
That's about right.
That's about right.
This is a good matchup.
This is going to tell us a lot, I think.
Yeah.
Well, I think
for the Pats going 3-5,
I think the playoffs become unrealistic.
I don't think you could drop 2 below 500 at the midway point.
You're going to be in this, though.
Not in the AFC.
I think we're going to be around.
Well, I mean, the Chargers still 32nd in the league against the Rush.
So that's where you thrive.
The thing with the Chargers,
which I don't know if they factored this in the line or not,
but you know their field goal kicker is going to cost them
between four and seven points, right?
Sure, right? Sure.
We're factoring that in.
Five and a half plus the missed field goal we're going to get.
That's a good point.
With Tucker, this is
a nine-point favorite
if they have a regular kicker.
Yeah, I'm with you.
Hey, Kyle, can you come on for one second?
He's gone gone he already left
for the game
yo
first of all
thanks for ditching
us next week
where
scale of 1 to 10
where are you
with Mac Jones
right now
for absolute
affection
10
he's actually
he's Mac Stone
by the way
his name is Mac Stones
cause he's got
big balls Bill he's got big balls,
Bill. He's Max Stones.
Sal, I think I'm also
a 10.
I fucking love Mac Jones.
I absolutely love this guy.
Belichick came over to him today
when they were at the end of the game.
Giddy, happy Belichick
came over, gave him a big handshake.
I fucking love this guy.
He's good.
He's taking a shitload.
You killed him last week.
Randy Gregory murdered him.
He should be dead.
He shouldn't even be alive.
I'm with you.
He's gritty.
He's got everything you want.
And he's got two wins against the Jets.
Maybe just calm down.
Just calm down a little bit.
I thought the thing that was really,
I think he's getting crisper as these games are going.
The play action stuff today,
he was very like young Brady-ish.
That was one of the things,
the early 2000s Brady's.
He was always good at like
the fluidness of some of this stuff.
And Mack today,
I thought that was the most fluid he's looked.
Now, granted, he's playing the Jets.
All right.
50 is 50.
50 is a lot of points either way.
That was a nice job.
I love Mack Jones, and I can't believe we got him with the 15th pick.
It's unbelievable to me.
This whole league is built around everybody's looking for a quarterback,
desperately.
The Carolinas trading second rounders for Sam Darnold.
Indies trading conditional first for Carson Wentz.
Denver's trading
for Teddy Bridgewater.
Fucking Mac Jones
falls to 15
right in our lap.
Yep.
It's unbelievable.
That's great.
And the Jets
are in your division.
The only reason
you're not mad now
is because your Cowboys
are probably going to be
Yeah, I'll let you have fun.
I mean, we beat you last week.
Yeah.
49ers
are at the Bears.
I have to check this one again.
Shanahan making one more run at going
450 winning percentage.
He wants to hit
Walt Michaels. You think they'll
flash the stat when he does it?
Next up, Jerry Glanville the genius kyle shanahan tell me more about his power sweeps 31 and 39
who knows he's got oh my god in his sights oh watch how he pulled this tight end out to the
left oh they lost again uh i have uh the 49ers favorite against the Bears by one point
I said one and a half
this says four
I have to check it
49ers by four that can't be right
four and forty three and a half
the genius Kyle Shanahan
yep
I don't know about that
I advise everyone just not bet this game.
Just don't do not even look.
This should be the last you hear of it.
The two of us discussing it.
I've had a wonderful time this year.
Never betting a game with two bad teams.
I've for seven straight weeks.
I've not put money on a straight up game that involved two bad teams.
I thought today I'd looked at the Raiders Eagles for a while.
Not that the Raiders are a bad team.
They're five and two,
but just anything like where there's not some sort of certainty.
I'm out.
I thought you said you bet the Patriots over the jets today.
Oh,
no,
they're good.
You're good again.
I don't know what to say.
Like that Carolina giants game is the perfect example of a game. I'm just staying away from all year. I'm an idiot. I want no part of it. You're good again. I don't know what to say. That Carolina Giants game is the perfect example of a game I'm just staying away from all year.
I'm an idiot.
I want no part of it.
I'm an idiot. That was done by me. That was a fixed line, two and a half against this Giants team that's miserable and banged up.
It did look fishy.
Stupid. I took the wrong side.
I follow one of the Vegas accounts and they have the five most bet, least bet games every week.
And I think the Giants was the single least bet game.
I saw that like a half hour before.
I was like,
oh man.
Right.
You could just,
people loading up on the Panthers
for no reason at all.
Yeah.
They've looked like dog shit
for three weeks now.
He actually sees ghosts
in MetLife.
I didn't believe in ghosts
until today.
It's a true thing.
Bucs Saints.
This is in New Orleans. As we mentioned, thing. Bucs Saints. This is in New Orleans.
As we mentioned, if the Bucs get through
this game, they will only play
one good team the entire
rest of the season. It's pretty crazy.
Brady really played this perfectly.
Goes to a team with a shitload of
weapons, convinces them to sign Antonio Brown,
brings Gronk back,
and
somehow has an easy schedule every year
like he did in New England. Do you know how hard it is to throw
three touchdowns to Mike Evans, a guy who gets
hurt every other play
and sits out six plays? To get him to
ball three times in the end zone?
Good job by you, Brady.
Pretty crazy. I have the Bucs by
six. Yeah, I thought
I went seven. I thought that was
really close to the number. It's four
and a half. Vegas.
Doesn't it seem like the
Saints have been off for three? I feel like we've seen them
play two games. I don't know.
Obviously, they play Monday.
When do we get Michael Thomas back? Could it be
next week? Everyone
in fantasy has him stashed.
Right. Michael Thomas,
what does it say?
The first three articles I read on him,
it says he's disgruntled.
Is anyone gruntled?
No one's gruntled, yeah.
He's super gruntled.
He's still a couple weeks away, it says.
Okay.
Keep us posted, disgruntled Michael Thomas.
Barely watchables. We have two.
One is Bill's Dolphins,
which
you'd figure the Bills murdered them
last time. The Dolphins
are one in six. This is a kitchen sink
game if there ever was one. This is also, we should
mention, the last set of
games for the trade deadline.
So you have,
you know, if Miami's going to get Watson,
it has to be the next week or so.
If the Eagles are going to complete their tank,
which they should because they're 2-5, although they do play the Lions this week.
If they're going to have a fire sale for some of their dudes,
this would be the week.
So Miami's 1-6, They're going to lose this game.
Most likely. They're definitely going to lose this game.
They have seven losses.
They'd have to run the table to go 10-7.
They'd have to go 9-1.
It's not happening.
If it's 9-8,
they'd have to go 8-1.
They could still do it.
Problem is they don't have their pick.
They have no incentive to pack it in.
Whereas the Eagles can be like,
cool, let's start losing.
Sure.
I have the Bills by 10.5 in Buffalo.
That's exactly what I said.
And it's 13.5.
Oh, man.
What is this line week one?
Jesus.
Five?
Yeah, it would be like four and a half, five.
What happened to this team?
Poor Dolphins.
Tough one.
The other barely watchable I have is Browns Steelers.
This could be Case Kingdom against
Ben Roethlisberger's corpse.
The balls will be up for grabs.
Anyone who bets in this game has a gambling problem.
I'm just going to put that out there.
And I have the Browns favored by
three points. Yep, we both have three.
It's exactly three.
Yeah, we have. And Miles Garrett,
I can't remember. Did he have number
seven? Did he have Big Ben in the
graveyard at his house?
I don't know.
Did he? I think he might have.
And if not, he could add him.
Let's see.
Yeah, this game, I don't know.
I'm not happy with the Browns, obviously, for last week.
But their offensive line should get a lot of credit, right?
Like, it's just plug and play.
Anybody you put in there is just going to,
whether it's Dearness Johnson,
who everybody scrambled to get on the waiver wire, or Chubb, or Hunt, you're just going to get whether it's Dearness Johnson, who everybody scrambled to get on the waiver wire or Chubb or Hunt,
you're just going to get six yards a carry,
whoever you hand the ball off to.
I thought Dearness Johnson was great last Thursday.
He was really good.
I asked this when Marcelo and House and I did our NBA Over-Unders podcast.
I asked, has there ever been a less impactful player
that we spent more time
talking about
than Ben Simmons?
And we went through
all the candidates
and the answer was
Stephon Marbury.
For somebody who,
the most amount of dialogue
for somebody
versus
the actual accomplishments
they had.
So they have to stick around.
So it's not a Greg Oden type,
right?
No, no, no.
Yeah, so they have to be around for a few years.
We're talking, we're talking, we're talking.
I think Odell's in the running for this.
Oh.
What has Odell done?
Has he even won a playoff game?
I don't remember.
I said, like, he doesn't look...
You know what he did?
He made that crazy catch against Dallas at night.
And it's the clip that everyone will see forever.
And the sticky glove.
And he was loud and he kicked the tee.
And he had some good years.
He had a couple of all-pro years.
But he does not look like a wide receiver at all.
Like I joked about like there were like five positions I would guess that he was drafted for before wide receiver.
And he gets hurt all the time.
Yeah, it seems like his role in the Browns is to dive for a ball, roll over and then limp to
the sidelines. What's weird is my son who barely knows anything about football other than video
games and TikTok clips. He thinks Odell is like on par with DeAndre Hopkins and Tiger Kill as one
of the best. He has no idea. How would he know? Right. Like, from a hype standpoint, that's how Odell was sold to us the last five years.
Yeah.
And you think, like, he's...
I don't know.
Is he one of the three best receivers in the Browns now?
I don't know.
There's Peoples Jones.
There's Allianz Jones.
I would take anyone.
Landry?
Yeah.
What's his name?
Schwartz is probably better at this point.
Yeah.
It's weird that the Browns are a possible
playoff team and they kind
of missed the Baker pick. He's not bad.
It's not like Josh Rosen, but
I'm sorry if they did it over again
they're not taking him. And then the Odell trade
was their big swing and that didn't
really work out either way.
It's not like the Giants are like, oh man, look at all we
got for Odell Beckham. They got
that safety who they're trying to trade right now you know while you brought him up you
brought up your son and you brought up Ben Simmons before and I was thinking about I was driving the
other day I was like has the irony set in for you that you named your son after like the most hated
I don't know if it's most hated or most confusing or most talked about in a negative way.
Basketball,
basketball is your,
your number one favorite sport
and you named your son after
Ben Simmons,
the most,
most,
most popular one.
I didn't intentionally name him after.
I don't know.
I mean,
what was he,
seven or eight years old?
Probably.
I remember
when we started hearing about him
in 14,
15,
and it was like the best
10th grader in the world
was Ben Simmons. Like, oh, that's weird. That's my son's name. Yeah the best 10th grader in the world is Ben Simmons.
Like,
Oh,
that's weird.
That's my son's name.
Yeah.
That would suck if this was the next LeBron.
And then he became the number one pick in the draft.
And it was like,
all right,
maybe this will be cool,
but it doesn't seem like he's going to be as good as LeBron.
So maybe we ducked out of that.
He won't be Michael Jordan.
And now it's like,
he's named after the guy who, if he's playing basketball
at recess and he misses a shot, they go, oh, just like the other Ben Simmons.
Right.
Now it's like a way to heckle my son because he has the same name as Ben Simmons.
Absolutely.
Wasn't what we were expecting with this whole thing.
No, I actually think you could sue because it's not, you know, it's not something you
anticipated. I mean, it's like my Ben Simmons loves it.
He feels like he's the better.
Does he really?
Yeah.
He's having a great flag football season.
He's like,
Hey,
I'm killing it.
I can't help with the other.
That's not bad.
Does he play with a cell phone in his pocket?
That's what Ben Simmons,
the Ben Simmons would do.
Poop.
Oh,
let's we'll take one more break and then we're going to do poop.
Okay.
Poop fact. Oh, we'll take one more break and then we're going to do Poopfecta. Okay, Poopfecta.
This is a new record for us, Sal.
It's a lot.
I have six games in the Poopfecta.
I don't think we've ever had that many,
but I think that's kind of an indictment
of where we are with this league right now.
There's a lot of bad teams
and below average teams.
Oh, you know what we never did?
We never did Tennessee-Indianapolis
because you said one of two.
Oh, shit.
You're right.
You're right.
Good call.
Yeah, let's do Tennessee.
I had that in the watchables.
Yeah.
So, Tennessee-Indianapolis.
It's in Indy.
I have Colts by two and a half.
I have to check this one too
because I botched it.
It's yours
I had Tennessee by two
It's Colts by one and a half
You get it
You know I did it before the game but just the same
Let's bet the Colts this week
I can't bet once again I didn't enjoy it
No let's do it
I don't like when he scrambles and his limbs are just going
In different directions.
He's fine. That's exciting.
I'm out.
Poop Fecta.
We got six, starting off with
Atlanta, home
against Carolina.
And if you bet on this game, you have a game we probably
just point blank.
You're betting one team has met right.
The other team has Darnold who got benched
who then after the game
they're like no no
he's still our quarterback
we just
had to bench him
against the Giants
no McCaffrey for this game
Falcons have to be favored
I'm going to say
Falcons by three
why isn't it more
I said four and a half
you're going to get it
it's two and a half
this should be more
I'm rooting Falcons
I want vindication
remember you and I when Falcons. I want vindication. Remember, you and I
when Falcons and Broncos begin the season,
I passed on the Broncos.
I'm still on the Falcons corner, even though
I know they're going to slug me in the jaw
at the end of this game.
I hedged the Broncos my future
bet on them with the Browns game on
Thursday night, so I'm clear with them.
But
I hate saying this.
I kind of don't feel like we're
out of this Falcons bet yet.
What's our...
Yeah, no. Wasn't the over-under was like
eight, right? Yeah.
We're all right. They're three
and three. Oh, I have them
make the playoffs. I might have a different bet than you.
Yeah. I have both of them. I have
make the playoffs and I have whatever their over-under was. Yeah. I have both of them. I have make the playoffs and I have whatever
they're over under was seven and a half. Right.
Wasn't that it?
I can't remember now. I think that sounds right.
If they can get past Carolina,
they still
have two New Orleans games left.
They play my paths
at home. They have Jacksonville.
They have Detroit.
49ers. they could get to
nine wins
it's not like
unrealistic
throwing one upset there
this is fun
Pitts had a great game
right
they have 160 yards
like this is
this is the explosive
team we thought we'd see
except they almost blew it
it's funny
they figured out
what to do
kind of how to use Pitts
I felt like the first
couple games whatever they were doing,
he never seemed like he was open.
Now they're splitting him off the line, almost like
a receiver.
And he's devastating.
It helps when Ridley's there and Gay.
These guys didn't make the trip
to London.
For sure, it helps when they're in the lineup.
Eagles-Lions.
It's in Detroit.
Jared Goff says,
we're a lot better than our record shows.
I do feel like we're a lot better than 0-7.
I don't know if I'd go with a lot.
Well, it's a lot.
I'll give them 1-6.
You might be slightly better than 0-7.
You might be 1-6.
I'll give them 0-6 and 1.
A lot better is strong.
I do think this is the game
they could win to screw our...
I mean, we might have to hedge this out.
We have the Lions for worst record
at plus 400.
Yeah.
And this is one of the only games
left on the schedule for them
that they can win.
Yeah.
But then we have to bet...
Oh, we bet the Lions
plus the 3.5. Sorry. Well, I gave you Oh, we bet the Lions plus the three and a half.
Sorry.
Well, I gave you a bunch of...
Yeah, we could...
I was going to say Lions by three
or Lions plus three.
Eagles by three.
Right.
Yeah, I got it exactly.
This is one I got exactly.
Three and a half is the line.
Yeah.
Well, that's a good hedge.
Well, but we could split too.
Like they could...
They and the Texans
could both have one win.
Isn't that possible? And then we get half that
money.
I'm going to say something insane. I think when
Taylor comes back, I think the Texans can win
one or two more. I don't think they're
bad. I think they can play
for like, they can play
with somebody for like a half.
And then because they can't, they don't have
a quarterback, it eventually dies for them.
Wow.
It must be really late at night.
I don't know why you're saying these things.
I just think they can win two more.
I think they get to three and 13.
What?
Let me,
let me,
here's the counter to that.
And that is not pro or anti Texans.
The Lions to the kitchen sink.
They threw the neighbor's kitchen sink.
Everybody,
they went to home Depot. They do every kitchen sink. They threw the neighbor's kitchen sink. Everybody, they went to Home Depot.
They threw every kitchen sink.
They didn't get their hands on fake punts.
How many times are you going to run a fake punt?
And it worked every time.
Like, they looked like they had to get Goff this win.
It was the only time they were going to do this.
Like, they'll just let it, please, coach, please.
I'll cry for you at the post-game press conference.
Just get me that win.
And they lost by nine.
I mean, they covered, but they couldn't even get within a touchdown.
I don't think I've ever seen a fake punt and an onside kick
in the first quarter of a game before.
That's what I want.
I loved it.
If you suck, why wouldn't you do that every week?
Why wouldn't you be doing as many kooky plays as you can?
You're trying to even the play.
Absolutely.
Get up 10,
not,
but that's the problem.
They couldn't,
it was only three,
nothing forever,
right?
They couldn't,
they couldn't turn those into seven.
Right.
Um,
speaking of sucks,
the jets are home.
Hmm.
The jets lose to the pats by 50 and Zach Wilson gets hurt.
It was your worst.
And Belichick's rubbing on at the end.
If you're a jets fan,
it was your worst case scenario.
At least you have,
you got a second rounder
for Darnold.
And you're going to have a top four
pick again. Great spot for
the Bengals.
I went Bengals by nine
at the Jets. Yeah, that's what I had. Eight and a half
is the number.
That's a teaser.
That's a teaser. Yeah, that's
one where
you jump on that tonight or tomorrow morning and get the six and a half That's a teaser. That's a teaser. Yeah, that's one where...
Come on.
You jump on that tonight or tomorrow morning and get the six and a half or seven point tease,
try to get it under three and bring it with other...
There's no way the Jets can hang with the Bengals.
I'm with you.
It's got maybe for three quarters,
two and a half quarters.
That's it.
Rams-Texans is in Houston.
I don't know what the Rams did
to deserve these back-to-back games,
but I have the Rams by 14.
Ah, damn it.
You get it.
I said 13.5.
It's 14.5.
6, 7, 8.
8, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Yeah, you're winning 8 to 6.
There's still 4 left, right?
Rams dying to be thrown into a 15-point tease.
Available on FanDuel.
Let me tell you something. The Rams, you want to look at a schedule? That team, I think, is going to be like into a 15-point tease. Available on FanDuel. Let me tell you something.
The Rams, you want to look at a schedule?
That team, I think, is going to be like 9-1.
Yeah.
Or 9-2 or something.
Last six are pretty brutal, aren't they?
Yeah, we probably don't need to do all that.
I don't know why I did this.
So, yeah, they have the Texans, Titans, Niners, Packers.
Yeah, they still have the Jaguars left.
All right, we don't have to go into it.
Yeah.
There's some music.
Yeah, we got to blow through these.
Broncos are home for the Washington professional clown show of a football team.
The Broncos are bad.
I don't know why you picked them on Thursday.
I think they're like a bad team.
They're bad.
The Broncos are bad.
Washington's bad too.
Broncos by three. That's my pick.
Well, I know them, but I knew you did
because I said three and a half and it is three and a half.
I know
they're bad, but they had the wrong quarterback
in there. Teddy Two Gloves couldn't move.
Mysteriously, he came to life in the second half.
He really could do nothing
at all in the first half. He really could do nothing at all in the first half.
And then he started there.
I picked the wrong side.
Sunday night, your team.
No, one more.
One more.
Jacksonville-Seattle, right?
Oh, yeah, you're right.
One more.
There's so many Poop Factor games, I missed one.
Seahawks, home for the Jags.
You're going to win this one, too.
I was way off.
I said Seahawks four and a half.
Yeah, I said six.
It's three and a half.
Yeah.
Seahawks are bad.
Seahawks, when we talked about the five worst teams in the league.
No.
The Seahawks might be moving in that group if they get killed tomorrow.
Wow.
I guess so.
They have the worst defense in the league by all of the categories, basically.
They've given up the most yards.
They've given up a ton of points.
Then on offense,
their quarterbacks,
Gino Smith,
like they're like until Wilson comes back,
they're a bottom,
like seven.
Their quarterback is Gino Smith.
I'll give you that.
There's no denying that Sunday night,
Cowboys Vikings in Minnesota,
both teams coming off buys.
A lot of Chris. Now are going to be, Cowboys-Vikings in Minnesota. Both teams coming off buys.
A lot of... Chris and I are going to be... You can almost feel how this
one's going. A lot of how great Dak Prescott
looks. I can't believe how
good C.D. Lamb is. This
Micah Parsons. What a
stud. Jerry
Jones luxury box shots.
This doesn't seem like it's
going to be a fun night for Minnesota.
And yet.
Trap.
It feels so trappy to me.
Don't need it.
Even the line I picked is trappy.
Cowboys, three and a half at Minnesota.
All right, I get this one.
I said two and a half, and it's only two.
Ooh.
Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine for you. Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine for you.
Two, three, four, five, six.
Seven, eight.
Okay.
Nine to eight.
I'm up one.
You got one more.
That was a half point off on this last one.
Tell us about how you're feeling about this Vikings game.
Well, I got to say, am I an asshole?
Everybody comes over.
We meet at my house.
And then the family and everyone.
Then they go out trick-or-treating together.
I'm not going. I don't care.
I'll do something else with this.
First of all, we're on right after this.
So I have to watch.
I'm not watching the game through neighbors' windows.
Can't do it. I'm sorry.
Now I'll be much more gentle when I explain that to my wife.
I won't be as confident.
But that's the message.
This is a good question, actually,
because you've had three boys.
What is the single best year
for a Halloween boy?
I think seven might be the year.
Oh, come on.
Don't say that.
Now you're making me feel bad.
The best year?
No, I think this is the number one year.
Oh, for a boy.
Yeah, seven.
Yeah, but he doesn't need me.
Yeah, okay.
No, but I'm just saying for...
They're smart enough
that they can go out where it's not like you're afraid they're just going to run out of the street. Yeah. Okay. No, but I'm just saying for they, they're, they're smart enough that they can go out where it's not like you're afraid
they're just going to run onto the street.
Right.
They at least have a little street sense.
They've had a couple of Halloween's under their belt.
They have some veteran experience.
They still believe in it.
Totally.
They get dressed up for it,
the whole thing.
And they're competitive enough at that point where they're just trying to
grab as much candy as they can.
Seven,
I think is when you peak as a Halloween boy.
Seven for Halloween, five for Christmas,
and 51 for Thanksgiving.
Monday night, Chiefs-Giants.
Wow.
Get it?
You need it exact or you need it half off to win?
A whole day of what's wrong with Patrick Mahomes.
It's in KC.
Right.
I have Chiefs by seven and a half.
Oh, good.
All right.
We're going to tie.
I said ten and a half and it's ten.
Well, so I won because I had a lead.
Yeah, but you just lost.
Oh, it's ten and a half.
Yeah.
Why is it so high?
What is going on?
Six, seven, eight, nine. The Chiefs are favored by ten and going on? 6, 7, 8, 9.
The Chiefs are favored by 10 and a half?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Oh, they're favored by 10.
I said 10 and a half.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, they're winning that game.
They are?
Chiefs, Bills, Bengals.
Bang.
Even odd teaser.
I have not put in the Chiefs.
Really?
No, this is their win.
I lost today. No, they get everyone the Chiefs. Really? No, this is their win. I lost today.
No, they get everyone back on board.
They're four and four
and then they lose
those miserable games
we just mentioned.
Come on.
You know how it works.
I had a really good
betting day today
except for betting
on the Chiefs
to score
over 31 points
which was minus 150
and I was like
either way
they're scoring that many.
Either it's a shootout
with Tennessee
or they either way.
And it's like the bet was over
at 1030 in the morning.
By the way,
if FanDuel accidentally
put a decimal in there
in your favor,
over 3.1 points,
you still would have lost.
Oh, my God.
I'm so mad at the Chiefs.
I know.
They suck today.
They suck.
All right, 4-3-1 after eight weeks.
We'll take it.
Did you watch succession?
I did.
I did.
It was a little slow, but they had to do it like that, right?
You had to have that meeting.
It had to be a half hour long.
I like it.
I go back.
I mean, Culkin's the best.
He's just the best, right?
He's, he's, I want to know
how much of that is ad lib because he's
stepping on lines purposely
and
I love when Kendall's like, we got to
go into
Sophie's room, his daughter.
And he just starts mocking. He was like,
uh, uh, my, my, I can't remember
my, my daughter's name.
Remember her name.
Good.
Good.
But her line was the best.
Like,
uh,
you love showing your pee pee to everyone,
but someday you're going to have to fuck something.
That was the best.
Oh my God.
That was great.
Yeah.
It's this show.
I'm not the first to make this point is always at its best when they can get
the siblings in the room together.
Yeah.
Anytime there's a scene extended scene when they can get the siblings in the room together. Yeah.
Anytime there's a scene, extended scene, where they can go back and forth,
they can bring up a bitterness,
take pot shots at each other.
A couple of drive-bys on poor Connor, my guy.
Yeah.
Worried about Connor, my favorite character.
He took a beating again.
And it leads to Kendall's like,
well, forget it, you're irrelevant.
Kicks him out, gets rid of him. And then he like, well, forget it. You're irrelevant. Kicks him out. Gets rid of him.
And then he's in the limo at the end.
He just tells his call girl girlfriend,
like, we're calling the playoff.
Tired of being pushed around.
The play's done.
You know, just like Cameron did in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
I'm tired of being pushed around.
Yeah, I feel like he's going to drive
Logan Roy's Ferrari backwards out of the garage.
It was good.
So it took two episodes to set up.
All right, now it's three against one with the siblings.
Logan at least has the facade of everything's all right.
I couldn't explain to me what you thought your interpretation was
at the tail end with Jerry.
Where he said... I watched it three times.
Yeah. I didn't understand. Was he
saying she was going to be the fall lady?
He's going to set her up is the only thing I thought
maybe, right?
She's close to me. It makes sense
that she would be it. They have to get
a woman to blame for this to look
like he wasn't a monster. That's
what it seemed like and she was okay with it.
So it's setting up
Roman is going to catch wind of this
and Logan doesn't realize
how much Roman cares about Jerry.
And it's now setting up Roman
who can go Fredo at any point
to actually grow some balls
and stick up for Jerry.
I hadn't even thought that far.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
Kendall was a cliche
spouting machine in this one.
It was
even at the end when
he's trying to save it. He's like, it's high tide. It's high tide
right now. He's just throwing
the things up. Left and right.
I thought it was another good one. The part
that really surprised me was
Logan's wife, the estranged wife, coming
in with really bitter about the Holly Hunter thing last year and then coming in with some demands.
If you want me back, here's what I need.
You're going to have to redo the trust.
Right.
Yeah.
Ask for a second round pick, a first in 2023.
Yeah, I like it.
They set it up. I just wonder if the Shiv thing,
how many times I could see that
where they stopped just short
of making her CEO, right?
It's like, all right,
it's right there for you.
No, we're going to yank it.
You know, we grew up
with Gilligan's Island.
They could have gotten off
the island a million times.
Right.
Then it was Silicon Valley.
It's like, oh, come on.
How are these guys not,
they're still poor.
And how is Shiv still not the CEO?
How is she still taking it?
Which makes me think there's a quick double cross
in there somewhere soon.
And also, how is Shiv this stupid about it?
Yeah.
Every time it's like,
oh, daddy batted his eyelashes
at me.
I'm back.
I'm in the good,
like never seems to read
the tea leaves at all.
Yeah.
It's a really good show.
I also watched
Curb Your Genesity
and that was good as well.
Damn it.
Damn it.
Albert Brooks.
They went to
Super Dave's
real life brother
to recapture
some of the
Super Dave magic.
Don't know how he would have,
how much he would have liked that Super Dave.
Super Dave probably wouldn't have liked that.
Poor Super.
I got a little melancholy because remember,
Super wanted us to go to that Indian Wells tennis tournament.
And they moved it from March.
We could never go because it was during March Madness,
which is much better.
But they moved it
to October.
It just got me sad that we didn't go.
I'm excited for Curb.
Missed opportunity.
Alright, Paracorner, what do you got?
Alright, so
I lose my streak Thursday night.
I'm furious. I'm furious at everything.
I'm furious mostly at myself.
You're right, I jinxed myself a week ago Thursday night.
What do you mean a week ago?
Yeah, the last Thursday night.
What?
You mean a week ago Thursday night.
Oh, shut up.
Stop it.
I pick winners.
What's the matter with you?
Why don't you understand me?
Why do you put the score in it?
Everyone wants a score.
But anyway, I go out there and I lose.
And so I'm mad. And so it's set up. I'm doing an interview. I'm doing a Zoom. But anyway, I go out there and I lose. And so I'm mad.
And so it's set up.
I'm doing an interview.
I'm doing a Zoom.
I'm on TV.
Like Fox Local LA has a sports roundup.
I'm sorry.
I don't remember the name.
I'm on Thursday nights.
Vince Ferragamo host and Jackie Slater, two legendary Rams.
Ferragamo made the Super Bowl.
Jackie Slater's in the Hall of Fame.
So I'm mad that I have to do this.
And I said earlier, I'm like, hey, what's this going to be if I lose the streak?
They're like, oh, we'll talk about other things.
I'm like, all right.
So now, and it's immediately after the game.
So I'm pissed.
I have to get my composure.
It's live.
I can't swear.
I can't be too angry, but I want to be.
So I tell the family who's extra loud for some reason.
I'm like, hey, everyone shut up. I'm going to be on TV live and have to do it from my office.
And everyone just shut up because I'm mad. And let me just get through this and that'll be that.
So I go on and Jackie Slater, I'm like, oh, I can't believe I lost. And Jackie Slater is like,
now Cal, Cal, you said Denver would win. I'm like, Cal,
you're calling me Cal? He's like, well, that's what I have written down as if that makes it okay
that he has Cal as my name written down. I'm like, are you saying Cousin Sal? Are you shortening?
He's like, no, I have Cal written down. I was like, all right, great. So now I have 11 minutes
now with being called Cal by Jackie Slater. This is all a favor. So I get out of my office
and the family is going nuts.
They're like, oh, Cousin Cal!
There's Cousin Cal!
The little one's got a sign made.
Cal, oh, Fat Cal!
Fat Cal!
I think I just stormed up to my room.
I was like, I've had enough of this night.
That's it.
Cal.
Fat Cal.
My family sucks.
That's it. Cow. Fat cow. My family sucks. That's great.
My son, after school on Friday,
him and his buddies, they went to the mall. I won't say which mall,
but one of the malls in LA. Malls are back.
Are they back? Malls are back.
Malls have made a comeback.
People go to the mall.
They run into either friends from school or friends from other schools.
And they're there for like six, seven hours.
Really?
It's just like the 80s.
When we used to go to the mall and we would go to what like strawberries
where would you buy music
I don't know what that is
Tower Records we had
everyone could get their ears pierced
multiple times right at the mall
you go to the food court
so I'm fascinated by the mall
and my son
finally comes home and I have all these questions
and he's like,
no, no, we were just, you know, they kept kicking us out. I'm like, what do you mean they kept
kicking you out? He's like, well, we kept trying to skateboard in there. And I'm like, what? You
were trying to skateboard in the mall? It's like, yeah. And then we kept, we kept, kept getting
kicked out. They were getting really mad. And then we kept trying to come back in.
And then we made friends with the security guard.
And then we were just in the back in the parking lot.
But then we tried to come back.
And I'm like, what's going on?
Why did you turn into a degenerate?
What were you like smoking Marlboro Reds in the parking lot with Baby Doll Jr.?
What was fun about almost getting kicked out of the mall 13 times? Like, no, no, it was
really fun. And that was his night at the mall. So apparently I'm raising a degenerate.
You know what else happens at the mall? Like old people go walking around to get their steps in if
the weather's bad, not out here in LA. But I mean, so he's going to take some octogenarian out at
the knees, skateboarding, trying to- It's like my son is now that kid. He's the to take some octogenarian out at the knees skateboarding. It's like my son is now that kid.
He's the fucking asshole in the mall with his friends.
He was just getting yelled at by some security guard.
He's trying to do his job.
Right, exactly.
This guy's just trying to get through a shift,
and he has to deal with these asshole kids, one of whom is my son.
I love that he was honest with you, though.
Guess who's not going to the mall next week?
My son.
He's not going?
No, he's not going.
If only there was another place
to skateboard in LA.
Why don't you make him
a skate park? Make him something
in your backyard. The thing is, I'm like,
why are you skateboarding? You could
break your wrist. Their flag football
team, undefeated. The playoffs
are in a week. They haven't won
an eighth grade title at my son's school
in eight years.
They've scored 200 plus points.
They've given up two touchdowns all year.
I'm like, just don't get hurt for two weeks.
Simmons' family
has never won a banner in this school.
Zoe came up short three times in the finals in hoops.
Just don't get hurt
for two weeks. Tell him you signed something.
He can't do anything reckless
like that. I might just
lock him in the house.
Unbelievable. By the way, this
is going to be Harrison six years from now.
Him and Ben are very, very similar.
He loves the skating too. Seven-year-old Ben is very
similar to seven-year-old Harrison. I know. I never
got the skateboard thing. Did you have to? I mean,
it was too much going on to do skateboarding.
No, but that's like... It wasn't a big East Coast thing. That's like a danger thing. Those you have to, I mean, it was too much going on to do skateboarding. No, but that's like,
East Coast thing.
That's like a danger thing.
Those kids that have like the real danger thing.
It's like,
those are the kids
who are jumping,
you know,
trying to do double flips
off the
swimming pool diving board.
Right.
There's just like
certain types of kids
who just have died
You name them Ben Simmons.
This is your fault.
I know.
All right,
Sal, what do you got to put?
Well, I have our Fox Bet Live on FS1
Monday, Thursday, Friday this week.
Thursday Night Football starting a
brand new streak. Yes,
the Extra Points Podcast Network against
the Lods, minus three. Oh,
and a new podcast, I should mention, Megan
Fun of Sports. Very funny, very
insightful with Megan Galey
and Megan Connelly, who's a Patriots fan,
but delightful nonetheless.
Two Megans.
It's hard finding Megans.
We went to Fox and we went to
Merkel and neither would bite.
So we got the two better ones.
So if there's like a third
Megan who's really good at sports,
that's the only way you add to that show.
That's the only way. The person has to be named Megan
from now on. Yeah. Megan Kelly is on deck.
So we'll get her off.
She may take that offer.
As always, good job on you. Good job on you,
buddy.
That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Kyle Creighton
for producing it. I'll be back
on this feed on Tuesday. Don't forget about
the rewatchables.
Halloween 1978, the original.
We're doing it.
It's going up Monday night.
Me and Chris Ryan diving into one of the greatest movies of all time.
See you then. I don't have a few years with him
on the wayside
I'm a bruised
son
I don't have
a few years