The Bill Simmons Podcast - Are the Chiefs Dead? Plus: Unicorn Derrick Henry, the “Genius” Shanahan, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal.

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss a day full of lopsided victories, including the Chiefs’ blowout loss to the Titans, the Bengals’ impressive win over the Ravens, Patr...iots-Jets, Buccaneers-Bears, the Colts’ rainy win over the 49ers, another Dolphins loss, and more (1:50). Then they Guess the Lines for NFL Week 8 (47:30) before briefly discussing Season 3 Episode 2 of HBO’s ‘Succession’ [SPOILERS] (1:19:00), followed by Parent Corner (1:23:45). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, if you're a TV fan, don't forget about The Watch with Andy Greenwald and Chris Ryan. They're breaking down Succession on Sunday nights. We also have the Prestige TV podcast, which is at least four times a week. We have Succession deep dives on Wednesdays and then a pre-cap on Fridays, as well as me and Joe House this week, breaking down episode one of Curb Your Enthusiasm and a whole bunch more. Also, the Ring of Reality TV pod, breaking down shows like The Challenge, Survivor, The Great British Bake Off, whatever that thing's called. Check all those podcasts out on the Ringer
Starting point is 00:00:30 Podcast Network. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too. Miller Lite keeps it simple for us. Undebatable quality, great taste. Picture this, it's game day, all the gang's here, you're tailgating outside the stadium. It's a great time for beer. Or how about when you're standing at the grill and the smell of sizzling burgers is in the air? Moments like that are when you want a light beer that tastes like beer, that's delicious. You don't want to load up on those heavier beers and then you only have two of them. Then you feel tired. Your stomach feels full.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Miller Lite, it's your friend. It just accompanies whatever else you're doing. You're super happy with it. Opening an ice cold Miller Lite can signal the beginning of Miller time. Miller Lite is the light beer with all the great beer tastes we like. 90 calories per 355 mil can. So why not grab some Miller Lites today? Your game time tastes like Miller time. Must be legal drinking age.
Starting point is 00:01:36 It's the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. Football is in full action. FanDuel's highest rated sports book is the best place to bet at all. We've been doing pretty well on million dollar picks this year. I love the first month of the season because you have to go into the season thinking, I think Pittsburgh's going to be good.
Starting point is 00:01:55 I think the Chargers are going to be good. I think Seattle's going to be good. And then trying to back what you think in those first few weeks and then zag the other way if you were wrong. You could bet on new and fun markets on FanDuel, like to catch a pass, same game parlays, highest scoring game across the Sunday slate,
Starting point is 00:02:10 offensive TDs in the next drive. They have so much stuff, it's crazy. The app is safe and secure and easy to use, and when you win, you'll get paid instantly. Plus, look out for FanDuel Squares this season. Here's what you have to do. Visit FanDuel.com slash BS to download America's number one sports book. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please
Starting point is 00:02:31 visit RG-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available and listen to the end of the episode for additional details. You must be 21 plus and present in select states. Gambling problem called Win 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com. We're also brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook as well as the Ringer Podcast Network. New Rewatchables is coming on Monday. Very excited for this one. It is a top 10 move I want to do.
Starting point is 00:02:57 And the Rewatchables, it's time. I realize I'd been saving, I'd been saving, I'd been saving it. And Spotify is doing this whole spooky thing with all different podcasts all over the Spotify platforms. They asked if I wanted to do something. I said, screw it, it's time. Halloween.
Starting point is 00:03:13 A movie I've seen more than, I think, just about any other movie except for, it's definitely in the top three. I'm finally breaking it down with Chris Ryan. It is going up on Monday night. A lot of thoughts on how Michael Myers figured out how to drive a car when he'd been in an insane asylum
Starting point is 00:03:30 for 15 years. This will be the ultimate deep dive of Halloween. One of the great movies of all time. Coming Monday night on the Rewatchables. Get ready. Coming up, me and Sal break it down in pretty boring week seven. First, Pearl Jam.
Starting point is 00:04:09 All right, taping this a little after 8.30, West Coast time. Cousin Sal is here, as always. You can check him out on the Extra Points Network. Against All Odds is over there, a whole bunch of pods. I was just bragging about how I watched the end of Colts Niners with the sound off as I watched the new Curb Your Enthusiasm, which you didn't think to do. Once again, I'm so mad. But you missed Al Michaels gave you a shout out
Starting point is 00:04:29 in like two minutes left. You didn't hear? No, he didn't. That didn't happen. I got you. You're making that up. Come on. That would have sucked for you.
Starting point is 00:04:39 It was a tough gambling day today, I think for the most part, other than that the Pats Packers, the most obvious tease of all time, won again. We were talking about a lot of people doubled down on this monsoon game, thinking, oh, under 42, the under is dropping. Oh, I'll do under with this. I'll do under with one of the teams I like.
Starting point is 00:04:58 And then somehow the game, 48 points, it goes over. Everybody just got murdered all day unless you did that one tease. I think the NFL picked this specific week. points it goes over. Everybody just got murdered all day unless you did that one tease. I think the NFL picked this specific week. Now, I know scheduling's made ahead of time to screw the gambling. They're like, okay, ratings are up. Thursday night ratings, Sunday night ratings, everything's up. Okay, we got them. We reeled them in. All right, now let's have six teams off this week. So that screws everybody's fantasy lineup, right? You're going to have guys that no one's ever heard of now on your team. And let's throw in the Ravens are going to lose. The Chiefs are going
Starting point is 00:05:28 to lose, you know, some other teams. And all right, when people go to double up, we'll make, oh yeah, we'll have it rain. It'll be torrential rain. So everyone bets the under this. Like this was a total screwjob day from the NFL. Thanks for that. So we had Case Keenum covering on Thursday
Starting point is 00:05:44 night. We had the Bengals and Titans winning outright. We had everyone on the Eagles. That was like, for whatever reason, the most popular pick of the week. I think the line moved two points. Raiders end up winning that. If you bet on Falcons, Dolphins, or Panthers, Giants, you got what you deserved. We had the two high lines, the cards cover, but the Rams do not. And the Rams actually sweated that one out,
Starting point is 00:06:10 which we'll talk about in a little bit. And then on Sunday night, the Colts lose. I want to start with the Chiefs. We have to start with the Chiefs. It's the smart thing to do. If we were doing a Monday morning
Starting point is 00:06:19 talk show on ESPN or Fox, we would have to have really hot takes about the Chiefs. I'm going to start here. Not with a hot take. Kind of miss the Chiefs. I miss what we had. I miss you, me, House and Hinch.
Starting point is 00:06:33 We had the running joke. Every time they fell down, 7-0, 10-0, 13-3, we would text each other. All right, what's the money line, Sal? Oh, plus 120. Oh, let's grab it. They were this reliable juggernaut. They could turn it on with a flip of a switch.
Starting point is 00:06:48 And now it feels like they're dead. I think it's over, Sal. Oh, man. I think it might be too. I don't want to overreact. Week 7. By the way, speaking of the bets, remember you and I talked last week. FanDuel should have 15-point teases. They have all of it. You could
Starting point is 00:07:03 adjust any line you want and make a parlay. You could have had the Raiders plus 23 and a half if you wanted. So what did I do? I took that giant teaser you just talked about, right? Rams, Cardinals, Buccaneers, and I add the Chiefs plus 10 and a half. And as I'm leaving the house this morning, I'm like, kids,
Starting point is 00:07:20 wife, go order sushi. We're going to eat great tonight. That is not losing. Get the extra crab roll whatever you want there that cannot lose and and like by like 10 50 a.m pacific time i was like oh there's no way they're covering 10 and a half what is wrong with that it's one thing if their defense is bad but you know what's not good as a chiefs fan when you say oh we can't score we didn't score a touch just like the super bowl Bowl, but worse. We only had one field goal. Disgusting, and I really don't
Starting point is 00:07:48 understand it. We did the same dumb five-team tease on Million Dollar Picks on Thursday. It was like minus 177. Had all the usual suspects. Chiefs got brought to like 10 and a half. I was like, well, they'll throw them in. And the same thing. It was by 11
Starting point is 00:08:04 o'clock our time in the morning. You could just see the life was out of the Chiefs. They can't get it going. They look like they haven't had a practice or even a preseason game. They look completely disjointed. There's no life. You know, you look like that Bengals Ravens game, which is a really good game. And that Bengals team, that's another one. They're locked in. You know, you can see it on the sideline. They got guys making big plays. That Chiefs, they just look like they've been flicking that on-off switch for two years. And now when they turn it on, nothing comes on. And I, it's, look, I don't think this is a fluke. I think the three and four thing, I think they're, that's actually what the record should be. I was looking it up. Do you know how many teams have made four straight Superbowls? I don't know. I wish I had thought of actually what the record should be. I was looking it up. Do you know how many teams have made four straight Super Bowls? I don't know. I wish I had thought of this before the year. How many in the history of the NFL,
Starting point is 00:08:51 how many teams have made four straight Super Bowls? Made four straight? Four straight. Well, so the Bills won. We're done. It's just the Bills. Is that it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:01 It's the only time it's ever happened. And you think like, all right, the Chiefs have the D-4 game that year, where if he's not offsides, they beat the Pats. They make it the next year, they win the Super Bowl. They make it the next year, they lose the Super Bowl. So this is basically year four of that run. It's just really hard.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Teams, so I feel like we should have had that in there. But then you think, all right, they tripled down on offense. Did you watch Orlando Brown today? That was one of their big moves. He was a fucking turnstile today. He was getting crushed. So they went in on first-round picks with Edwards Hilaire. I think Hardman was the first-round pick.
Starting point is 00:09:33 And they go big on Joe Tooney. And they go on Orlando. And it's just like they kind of quadrupled down on offense. And now they can't score. I don't know what their next move is. But, I mean, last week they scored, right? They didn't hit their over-under, but they were at like 31 against Washington, so that wasn't a problem.
Starting point is 00:09:50 All in one half against a bad team. For sure, yeah. But we're looking at it, and I get it. Like, I don't need, maybe what we saw the last couple years with like Travis Kelsey having 14 yards of separation, nine yards downfield was weird. But give me something in between. Give me, why can't that guy get open anymore? Why is every play now he's blanketed
Starting point is 00:10:11 and screaming for a flag, a pass interference? Like, oh my God, that doesn't look right at all. All right, I'll buy that. McCall Hardman can't get open, like can't get separation, just never grew as a receiver. But, and Tyreek Hill have his moments, and Mahomes will run for first downs, but we didn't see any of that. I can't believe that they didn't score. I mean, I was still sending you those updates. Plus 260. It was 14-0.
Starting point is 00:10:33 They were getting the ball in the second half. I mean, they weren't done scoring Tennessee, but we're like, oh, plus 260. That's a good number. Now, there's no number I would take with them. You said when it was 14-0, I think it was like, what, plus 160, something like that for the Chiefs? Yeah, I guess it was that.
Starting point is 00:10:50 We still had 260 at one point. I guess that was when they were down three points. It was 17-0 and climbed to 260. That's what it was. They don't have it this year. It dates back when you think to last year with that Super Bowl, how disjointed they were. You look at the record, right?
Starting point is 00:11:08 2018, they're 14 and five. They had seven double digit wins. 2019, 15 and four won the Super Bowl, 10 double digit wins. First half of 2020, they go seven and one. They have five double digit wins. And then you go from the second half on, they're 12 and six. Remember last year, the second half, a're 12-6 remember last year the second half
Starting point is 00:11:26 a lot of those games were tight even like the playoffs that Browns game they couldn't cover for anything so 12-6 they've only out of their last 18 games they only have three double digit wins they have four blowout losses so the seeds have been planted here for a while I think we just were ignoring
Starting point is 00:11:42 them because we just had so much confidence in the arrogance of them and how potent they were. I wonder like over and over again, it's like, got to take out Kelsey and Hill. You got to watch those guys. Maybe the more teams play them, the more they figured out like, all right, just watch out for those two dudes. Don't let Tyreek beat you deep. Play everyone back. Try to rush with four. And, you know, throw some zones. You know, there's been some dumb turnovers. Like, they lead the league in, like, the most garbage turnovers of
Starting point is 00:12:14 interceptions off hands and, you know, strips and stuff like that. But for the most part, it does seem like these guys aren't open like they were last year. And this was the game to do it, right? You catch the Titans after a big win against the Bills. Maybe they shouldn't have won. Maybe they should have whatever. It's a short week for and of their seven D backs are out for their seven D backs are out against Patrick Holmes. So, of course, I don't know whether you like them to cover or not is one thing. Maybe that and the other narrative of Derrick Henry blowing them open running against him. That didn't happen. 29 rushes.
Starting point is 00:12:45 By the way, can they give Derrick Henry a break on a short week? He still gets 29 carries, for God's sakes, in a game that they're thrashing. I mean, come on. What are you doing, Titans? But just the same, he wasn't what killed them this week. I don't know what to say, but it's funny. We go through the Chiefs schedule and look for losses. Now I'm looking for wins.
Starting point is 00:13:05 They'll play Monday night against the Giants, and we'll go over the lines, but they should win that. It gets tough. Green Bay at Las Vegas and Dallas are the next three. They're not too many easy games. They have Denver twice. They have Pittsburgh. They're at Cincinnati. These seem to be teams that could all load up on them. if you want to get to nine and eight to get that seven spot, it's not going to be easy now. Kyle, turn the camera on. Uh-oh. Chiefs aren't making the playoffs.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Oh, no. I wish FanDuel didn't have the number up. They don't have the number up. But what do you think it is going into Monday? Because they're such a public team, it will definitely be like minus 200, something like that, just for the Chiefs to make the playoffs
Starting point is 00:13:49 to get a seventh seed. I don't think... I looked at the same schedule stuff you did. There's two problems. One is that they can't flip that switch anymore. Their defense can't stop anyone. They have some good offenses coming their way. Right.
Starting point is 00:14:03 It's like one of the things that sucks about when you, you know, when you do well the previous season, you just have to play good teams.
Starting point is 00:14:11 Sometimes, it doesn't work out that way. Like, we're going to talk about the Bucs schedule in a second, where for some reason the Bucs have the easiest
Starting point is 00:14:17 schedule ever. KC, the opposite. A lot of good quarterbacks left for them. I was just going to say, you got Rodgers, you got Carr twice, you have
Starting point is 00:14:25 Dak, you have Herbert, and you have Burrow. Right. They're not sweeping the Raiders this year. I don't think so. They'll probably split with them, right? And then, you know, you think at the end, week 17, at Cincinnati, normally that's like,
Starting point is 00:14:41 Cincinnati's fucking good. Going down the line, that's a monster schedule. Even like home Giants, like the Giants defense was really good today against Carolina. I don't think they make the playoffs. I think it's going to be 10-7 to get
Starting point is 00:14:57 in in the AFC. Oh, you do? If you look at the two conferences, I think the AFC is better than the NFC this year. I don't think there's any question. I think you're wrong. I think the top five teams... I'm not talking about top five. I'm talking depth-wise.
Starting point is 00:15:10 I'm talking from that 6 to 10 range. No, whatever. I think you know the five teams. You know five teams that are going to make it in the NFC. And you know four or five teams in the AFC. And everybody else could be 9 and 8. Really. We just saw Colts team.
Starting point is 00:15:24 I joke that they might be the best team. I'm already saying they're the best team that didn't make the playoffs, but they could make it. They could make it at nine and eight for sure. Here's the difference. The NFC will cross off Arizona, Tampa, the Packers, the Rams, and Dallas. Sure. I got two spots left. Here are the nominees. Saints, Vikings, Atlanta, Bears, Panthers, Seahawks, 49ers. Those teams all suck. You go to the AFC, let's say Cincinnati. We'll say the Ravens, Bills, and let's say the Chargers, I think are the four definites.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Yeah, it's tougher to make the playoffs than the AFC. I don't think that means the AFC is better. I didn't mention the Titans yet. Right. I got the Raiders. I have the Browns. I in the AFC. I don't think that means the AFC is better. I didn't mention the Titans yet. I got the Raiders. I have the Browns. I have the Steelers. I think the Pats would be the sixth best NFC team. The Colts today spanked
Starting point is 00:16:13 San Francisco. Six and seven are better. The Chiefs. Yep. I think the AFC is like, you could say there's 11 teams that on any given day could give somebody a really good game. Whereas in the NFC, I feel like it's five or six. I agree. But once you get past that wild card round, the
Starting point is 00:16:29 NFC is, I mean, we're talking two months, three months ahead of time here, but I'm telling you. I think it's 10 and 7 in AFC. You think nine and eight? I think nine and eight because I think those West teams beat up on each other. I don't know who you have getting in. I mean, it looks like you have to give Cincinnati. Is Cincinnati minus money to make
Starting point is 00:16:46 the playoffs now. So, I mean, so impressive. We had them in underdog parlay of the week. Cause I felt like that was one of those, either they're winning or they're getting killed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:56 And from the get go speed wise, they hung. I thought they gave the Ravens a ton of problems with their defense against the Ravens. Like it was really hard for the Ravens a ton of problems with their defense against the Ravens. Like it was really hard for the Ravens. These guys step up defensively. In addition to, you know,
Starting point is 00:17:11 chase being a lock for offensive rookie of the year and, and no more, more, no one more in sync with their quarterback than him and borrow. Like it's phenomenal. Watch. Can, can you believe we got Jefferson and chase and back to back years?
Starting point is 00:17:25 Yeah, that was fun. I mean, Chase is like out of control how good he is. It's not just that he's wide open four times a game. Right. This time, the Ravens were like, we're not letting Chase beat us. And what did he have, over 200 yards? 201. But then he'll have like those wow plays.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Yeah. And Burrow seems like he's in tune with them. I like their running backs. I like the mixing and Perrine combo. It's really tough. Perrine is like, you know, he's coming in. They have tight ends that can get you the ball. They have multiple receivers.
Starting point is 00:17:55 And, you know, I don't think we're breaking any ground by saying they announced themselves as a real contender today, but I think they are. It's crazy. They lost two games by three points, right? Isn't that their... Yeah. Aren't those their only losses? Yeah, they lost to the Bears. Oh, God. They lost to the Bears and the Packers
Starting point is 00:18:12 by three points. Didn't Burrow get hurt in that Bears game? Yeah, I think the answer is probably yes for anything. Unless it's talking about the last two games, he was hurt in almost everything. Yeah, it's funny. You look back at that Minnesota game week games, he was hurting almost everything. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny.
Starting point is 00:18:25 You look back at that Minnesota game week one, which it was, they won an OT and you think like, ah, two 500 teams who cares. Now it's like, maybe the Vikings are a little bit better. Um,
Starting point is 00:18:35 going back to the chiefs for a second, the, uh, Reed said, quote, we got to eliminate the turnovers in the penalties. Again, these are things that we haven't and haven't been common to us.
Starting point is 00:18:47 I'm seeing things that I haven't seen before. We just got to fix it. And the players, they know that. Dude, you already reached that point before this game. Yeah. Even last week when they beat Washington, they sucked for the first half and they haven't been able to play two good halves all season. Well, he's saying he's seeing things that he hasn't seen
Starting point is 00:19:04 because he had that weird shield, that fogged up shield in front of him, right, for the longest time. Get rid of that and you'll be fine. Now, I agree, but the non-scoring, the not scoring, I know they didn't score in the first half against the Washington team, but not scoring at all over 60 minutes against the Titans, that decimated
Starting point is 00:19:20 secondary is something very, very discouraging. Well, how about they spent all this resources and assets on their offensive line, which seems like it's worse than it was last year. Every third and 10, the Titans were basically, you know, they'd put five, they'd put six in the line, but they're always just rushing four and dropping people back. And those four people were getting to Mahomes over and over and over again.
Starting point is 00:19:43 It's unbelievable. It's so much easier to just blame the defense, and they can't even do that anymore. If you blame the defense and say, give me Pat Mahomes and the last team with the ball last wins, I'll take my guy every time. And it's just not even the case anymore. Well, we always talk.
Starting point is 00:19:57 I mean, we've been doing this 15 years now. We always talk about every year there's a team in the first six, seven weeks that just gets killed on the spread week after week, loses everybody a ton of money, and we keep going, no, no, this is the week they're going to turn around. No, no, it's going to be the... I think this is the team. I think it's the Chiefs.
Starting point is 00:20:16 I think they're broken. I think they're broken. I don't think this is one of those, no, no, they'll figure it out. I think they suck. They're terrible on defense and offensively they can't really run the ball. Mahomes is getting the shit kicked out of him.
Starting point is 00:20:32 I mean, it looked like he got knocked out today. And they have two phenomenal offensive players, but so do a bunch of teams in the league. If they fight their way to 9-8 and get that seven seed, and we saw who they have to go through to get to nine and eight and get
Starting point is 00:20:48 the seven and play the two, who is what's going to be the, the Titans or, uh, or the Bengals. I get, you still, you're not going to bet big money on the home team there.
Starting point is 00:20:59 That's for sure. All right. We're doing it. Mike and the dog. Let's go. Then we do this. Chiefs are three and four. Yeah. Week eight, Monday night. All right, we're doing it. Mike and the dog. Let's go. Can we do this? Chiefs are three and four.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Yeah. Week eight, Monday night, home for the Giants on ESPN. What do you got, dog? Who am I? Are you Mike or dog? I think I'm your dog. I'm usually your dog.
Starting point is 00:21:20 Mike, that is a must, must, must win on ESPN. Give me a break. The Mannings are counting that game. That's a win. That's a win. Dog, if you lose thatinals. Count it. Count it on that game. That's a win. That's a win. Doug, if you lose that game, you leave Spagnola in New York. He doesn't even come on the plane. He's done.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Get rid of him. Week nine, Green Bay, home. Boy, Mike, I really want to give him a win here. In Arrowhead. I think Aaron Rodgers takes care of business. That's a loss. Four and five next week at Las Vegas dog NBC. This Vegas
Starting point is 00:21:52 turns out they didn't need Gruden. Didn't need him. Mike, I'm going to give them a split. I'm going to give them a split with Las Vegas and I'll say on the road they will lose that game. Home Dallas week week 11? Mike McCarthy against Andy Reid.
Starting point is 00:22:11 I have to give it. I don't care what kind of shape Dallas is in. I'm giving it to the Chiefs. Oh, wait a second. I'm breaking character. You don't think you can beat KC in week 11? I don't think they can beat him. You're going to score 40 points.
Starting point is 00:22:24 What are you talking about? I'm saying tickets are as low as $230. All right. Rest of the way, they got Denver. They got Vegas. They're at the Rams. Home, Pittsburgh. At Cincy.
Starting point is 00:22:37 At Denver. I think that's 9-8 at best. Yeah, I think they might be 6-8 going into those last three. That is rough. I'm sorry, Chiefs fans. Can I give you one scenario? I think 9-8. They're 8-8 going into Week 18 against Denver
Starting point is 00:22:54 at Denver. They have to win to have a chance to make the playoffs. They lose in Denver. Wow. That's happened before. No, couldn't you see that, though? The Chiefs are 9-point favorites in Denver. Oh, they're definitely Denver. Wow. That's happened before. No, couldn't you see that though? Like the Chiefs are nine point favorites in Denver. Oh, they're definitely going to win. And then if they win,
Starting point is 00:23:10 and then all of a sudden they're down 17-3. Here's another scenario. They're eight and eight going into that week. And then the Goodell in the league says, you know what? This was dumb to add a week. Whatever your record is, that's it. Eight and eight.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, we need nine. Okay. And that's that. They're out. I'll tell you, record is. That's it. Eight. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, we need nine. Okay. And that's that. They're out. I'll tell you, I'm going to give you seven teams that I like much more than the Chiefs right now. Um, in the, in the AFC Cincy. Yes. AFC South team. We know that's making it. So there's two Baltimore Buffalo Chargers now I have five the Raiders have a two game lead
Starting point is 00:23:49 on them right now and an easier schedule the Raiders have a bye and then go play against the Giants although the Chiefs play against the Giants if the Raiders split with them they're six and three all they would have to do is go
Starting point is 00:24:01 four and four the rest of the way they make it. I think they have to be put in. They went today without Jacobs and who was the other guy? Darren Waller. And he was great. He was 31 for 34.
Starting point is 00:24:18 I still like the stupid Browns team. I think they're going to have a better record than the Chiefs. I don't know. I have to see fewer than four guys come out every play to injury, but I'm with you. I hate the Browns right now, but what am I going to do? No, listen. Of course you can name seven
Starting point is 00:24:33 teams playing better than the... And you didn't even say the Colts, right? The Colts could be there too. I just don't think the Chiefs have it this year. I've seen enough. I've watched every game. I think I'm out. That was embarrassing today. Maybe, you know, maybe it's time for Andy.
Starting point is 00:24:49 He's been coaching forever, right? He's been coaching since what? The mid-90s? Maybe it's time. You can't look sloppier, more disjointed, more lifeless than they looked in a game that was really important for them today. I'm out.
Starting point is 00:25:02 We're going to take a break, come back, talk about the Bengals and some other stuff. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember.
Starting point is 00:25:22 You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you could still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now. Just search Movember okay quickly really boring they took out too many teams
Starting point is 00:25:49 this week it was bad this was bullshit good pumpkin picking day for the family and if you did you can't go back I mean I don't regret
Starting point is 00:25:56 staying in and watching football but yeah this would be the day it was terrible it was the average margin of victory before that night game was 21.8 or something.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Yeah. My daughter, like about 2.30 our time. So like about halfway through the late games, she was like, hey, do you want to go downtown, get a coffee? And I'm like, yeah, I actually do. Really? I left the games for like 45 minutes. I was like, what am I going to miss?
Starting point is 00:26:22 The Bucks are killing the Bears. Like, what's possibly going to happen? Well, sees are killing the Bears. What's possibly going to happen? You were set up there. You're a loser for doing that. That's just wrong. Turn your back on football. I'm sorry. Bengals-Ravens. Did that game make you think more of the Bengals
Starting point is 00:26:39 and no opinion on the Ravens or more of the Bengals and a little less on the Ravens? I had some work to do with the Bengals. So I've come around full circle with the Bengals way late to the party. I get it. They're good. Like I mentioned, only two losses by three points. They had that one win by three points against Minnesota.
Starting point is 00:26:58 But this defense is what I needed to see something from. And, you know, they held the Ravens in check. And they stepped on their throat. And there was a little bit of Tom Brady in there. Like, they just don't... Not going to let you back in this game. Sorry. I don't care where this game is being played. And I do like them.
Starting point is 00:27:14 I know it's early. I know that's a tough-ass division. But they're one or two, I think, in that division when it comes down to it in January. It was the first team that we've seen who seemed to have at least could match Lamar's speed. You're not taking Lamar out of the game, but at least they seem to have guys who athletically belonged on the same field with him. I thought Lamar had some really good, I think his deep throws this year, even like throws that were incomplete, that were incomplete because the guy stepped out of bounds as he was catching and stuff like that. But he's like flinging it this year.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Much better. And I know people will be like, oh, two years ago. But I don't know. He just, he looks like he's really, really comfortable. Yeah, he just had to get that one bowel movement out. And now he's good. He's good to go. I thought Bateman had a couple moments in that game.
Starting point is 00:28:03 The Ravens, I don't know what to make of them because last week, they completely shut down the Chargers who have an explosive passing attack. This week, they had no chance at all of shutting down the Bengals who have just as an explosive. So it's like, so the Ravens have a good pass defense or not? What is the jury supposed to say coming out with a verdict after watching those last two games?
Starting point is 00:28:25 Because I have no idea. No, I don't know either. I'll say this. Like, the one thing, like, everyone's like, oh, they're a lucky team. They shouldn't have beat the Chiefs. They shouldn't have beat the Lions. You know, who was another one?
Starting point is 00:28:35 Oh, the Colts was a bad one that night game. Like, I think they're just good, and I don't know if they're in better shape than other teams or what. I said this last week, but don't sleep on them in the fourth quarter, and that's why it was so impressive to see what the Bengals did to them. But, you know, we're only a week away removed from what they did to the Chargers who everyone had
Starting point is 00:28:52 going to the Superbowl too. So I don't want to overreact too much. Do you believe way more in the Titans or just a little bit more after what they did to Buffalo Kansas City? You know, I got the Clay Travis text to deal with all the time. So I have to hate the Titans. And I just tell them, I was like, hey, five words, dude. You lost to the Jets. And so I think you have to win six games in a row after losing to the Jets to prove something.
Starting point is 00:29:18 But yeah, like I said, I mean, it's very impressive. They play the Colts this week. They could probably wrap it up with a win, right? Yeah, you would think. I guess here's what I would say about that Jets game. They had no receivers, and it was just one of those dumb games, right? And I think after that game,
Starting point is 00:29:38 myself included, I'm out, and the Titans, they're done. And it might have just been a dumb game where they didn't have receivers. They fell behind. A couple weird bounces happen. All of a sudden, they're losing to the Jets. Zach Wilson makes a couple big plays. I think we can forgive them. I'll give you that.
Starting point is 00:29:55 They're better than the Jets. I don't know. I mean, if Mahomes can't expose it, I don't know who will, but you have to think that secondary is going to be a problem at some point. But then again, it's going to get more difficult to tackle Derrick Henry. I mean, Derrick Henry going into this week had 51 more carries than whoever was in second. Was it mixed? I don't know who was in second.
Starting point is 00:30:14 But 51 carries, like this is not week 14. It was 51 through like six weeks. It's like eight or nine more carries than the next guy per game. It's amazing. We've more carries than the next guy per game. It's amazing. We've never seen anything like this guy. It's funny. He has less in common with everyone else who plays his position. Right.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Than anybody since when Moss was playing. And Moss just had no, there's nobody remotely like him. Right. That's a smart way to think of it. I've never. Yeah. When you think of Henry, it's like,
Starting point is 00:30:46 who are his peers? Who does he measure himself for? He's so different than every person at the position. Yeah. He's just heads and shoulders above. It's funny.
Starting point is 00:30:55 The Titans and the Colts I think are both better than I expected. I thought that was going to be a garbage division of like 7 and 10 could take it, stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:31:04 Titans are definitely at least an above 500 team. Then you have the Colts. You know, I don't know how impressive that Niners win was tonight, but if you're a decent team with a chance to make the playoffs, you should probably beat
Starting point is 00:31:19 a pretty weird Niners team that has already had a bunch of injuries. I will say I've never been able to root for Carson Wentz because he was on the Eagles. Me neither. I'm a Cowboys fan. Right, yeah. So he didn't factor into the Super Bowl.
Starting point is 00:31:34 I still blame him. I know, for sure. And not even great numbers today. 17 for 26, 150. He cuts down on the mistakes and this was a great game for him. The rain game was going to... Because he sidearms most of his passes, right?
Starting point is 00:31:46 Yeah. Where Jimmy G's coming over the top, and Jimmy G's having trouble anyway. So, boy, that sidearm release in the rain really helped. And the defense is as good as anybody. That Quiddie Paye finally had a big game, I think, for the Colts. So, look out for them. One of those – you're right. They're going to rack up the wins against the Jags and the Texans
Starting point is 00:32:05 and they're going to have an artificially good record probably. And I kind of think they're good anyway. I actually do. Well, that's why, going back to the Chiefs discussion, the Colts, who,
Starting point is 00:32:18 you look at the rest of their schedule, if they can somehow beat Tennessee and they're home this week, so if they're going to beat Tennessee, this would be the week, but they still have the Jets, they have Jacksonville, they have Houston, and they have Jacksonville again. So four pretty close to guaranteed wins, and they're three and four right now, and if they can beat, then all of a sudden you just need two more after that. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:32:41 I didn't realize it was even that easy. I had Schraker and I had the Colts. We did three underdog parlays mix and match and the Colts were in two of them. So I actually had to root for Wentz. And it was like trying heroin. It was exciting. I knew I shouldn't do it.
Starting point is 00:32:59 It was like going to the dark side. I haven't been on Wentz in like two years because I'm terrified of him. It's nothing worse than having money on the Colts and then he just gives the ball to the dark side. I haven't been on Wentz in like two years because I'm terrified of him. It's nothing worse than having money on the Colts and then he just gives the ball to the other team. Every time he went back to pass, I was terrified. No, I know, but he looks like he's confident, right? When he goes back.
Starting point is 00:33:16 I know it's a dumb thing to say. You kind of saw the same thing with Phil Rivers too, but now there's good results on the other end of that pass. It's strange to see after like a year of misery i laughed when he was up there for comeback player of the year but you know it's top three or four right now do you want to guess so it's a big game for kyle shanahan because if he wins he could have climbed over 450 for a career winning percentage. Do you want to guess what his career record is?
Starting point is 00:33:51 Well, would this be, I know it's bad because this I think will be four out of five losing years, right? I think it's three out of four before this year. Someone actually sent this to me. What is it? He's 31 and 39 career. I'm going to play a little game with you. The genius Kyle Shanahan. Everybody falls all over themselves. Talk about just what an amazing play caller. Wow. People put him in like the top six coaches. 31 and 39 career.
Starting point is 00:34:17 I'm going to give you some coaches that you've rooted for over the years or bet against, bet for, whether they had a better or worse winning percentage than Kyle Sheehan. Wasn't he a ringer talent at some point? Do you really want to do this? He's not coming back for season two. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:32 No, he wasn't a ringer talent. He came on a pod. Great guy. I'm not criticizing him as a human. I'm just saying, if you're going to be a genius, can you have a 450 winning percentage? No, I think we're beyond that.
Starting point is 00:34:44 But the thing, all right, well, I'll play. I'm going to give you some coaches. Walt Michaels, better or worse winning percentage than Kyle Shanahan. Walt Michaels, the famous nose picker. Picked his nose on live TV more than anyone in the history of football. Richard Todd,
Starting point is 00:35:01 they made the playoffs. AJ Dewey I think was Walt Michaels those years. Yeah. I'll say less than 450. No, more. Really? 454. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:14 Let's go with Tony Sperano. What? No relation to Tony Sperano. Tony Sperano, 73 career games. Better or worse winning percentage than Kyle Shanahan? He had that many? Well, I get the game now. Everyone's going to be better, right?
Starting point is 00:35:30 But they had that many? Not necessarily. Better or worse? All right, better. Worse. Shit, I'm not good at this. You're not good at this. All right.
Starting point is 00:35:39 This one's for 10 grand. Let's do this for 10 grand. This one. Well, let's go Norv Turner. 237 career games. Norv's got to have a better. Well, that's a lot of games. 237.
Starting point is 00:35:52 So, for 45%, did he win 105? Yeah. Yeah. He's better. 48. 48. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:02 0.3%. 114. 122. All right. Jerry%. 114.122. All right. Jerry Glanville. One of the most absurd coaches we've ever had in the league who you couldn't believe he was in the playoffs when you saw him on the sideline.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Right, right. Yeah, he had such a presence. You feel like you're adding 7% or 8% to his win total just because he is kind of a loud mouth at the reporting. I'll say better. He was better. 46.5. How about
Starting point is 00:36:32 Rex Ryan? Maligned. Maligned as a coach in multiple cities. Now stuck on television. Rex Ryan. Better. Considered to be a failure as head coach. He stuck on television. Rex Ryan. Better. Considered to be a failure as head coach. He was also better. 480. He was 61 and 66.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Alright, last one. Jay Gruden. Jay Gruden, who I still feel the Raiders are going to hire next year as a head coach. Probably not. No, he's less. Yeah, he is less. 41.8. Alright, last one. coach. Probably not. No, no. He's less. He's less.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Yeah, he is less. 41.8. Yeah. All right. Last, last one. Bonus. Herm Edwards. This is a tough one.
Starting point is 00:37:12 This is really the final exam. Herm Edwards. He, 128 games for Herm Edwards. Wow. He had that many games? Yeah. So that's twice as many as you just said? Or almost twice as many?
Starting point is 00:37:24 It's like 55 more than Shane alright I mean he's on there he's on yeah 54 and 74 42
Starting point is 00:37:31 the guys if you if you look at pro football the guys three above Kyle Shanahan are Joe Philbin
Starting point is 00:37:39 Dick Nolan and Walt Michaels and the three below are George Wilson Chip Kelly and Sam Weish I guess my point is maybe let's hold the genius thing Dick Nolan and Walt Michaels. And the three below are George Wilson, Chip Kelly and Sam Weish. I guess my point is maybe let's hold the genius thing.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Let's just hold it. Let's let him get to 500. I agree. The one thing that the 49ers had is injury, injury, injury. They always seem like they have to reset. But I think you're right. At some point this is your team, right? You miss Ricky Mostert. We get it. That would be ideal in the backfield instead of these other guys. I think you're right. Like at some point, this is your team, right? Like you, you miss most dirt.
Starting point is 00:38:05 We get it. That would be ideal in the backfield instead of these other guys. Right. Kittle seems to get hurt every year. Yeah. So maybe factor that into your thing. This is kind of it. And if you want to hang in that West,
Starting point is 00:38:17 you gotta, you gotta be good. You gotta win more than every other week. And you traded three firsts for Trey Lance, who seems like he's two years away. Right. And you could add Mac and just kept your first-round picks, and Mack looked awesome today.
Starting point is 00:38:29 Anyway, speaking of the Pats. I'll give you credit. In cap letters, you were like, the Pats are not losing. I was like, the Pats are winning today. I was like, nope. The Jets were my upset, and I'm sorry, Jet fans. That's it. Tom Brady has nothing to do with this. You're just going to lose to the Patriots.
Starting point is 00:38:48 They haven't won since what? 2011? Tack on another 10 years. It's going to be 20 years before you beat this team. Belichick just won't allow it to happen. He hates the Jets. We were throwing. It was like 45-13. They had their backup quarterback
Starting point is 00:39:03 in and he's thrown 40 yards downfield. Mm-hmm. Richard Seymour got his number retired today. Right. For Patriots Hall of Fame. And they told the story during the broadcast. They asked him what game he wanted to have the number retired. And he said, make it the Jets game.
Starting point is 00:39:22 It'll be like a homecoming in college. So funny. Yeah. It's like a homecoming game. What a fucking insult to the Jets game. It'll be like a homecoming in college. So funny. Yeah. It's like a homecoming game. What a fucking insult to the Jets. That's crazy. Jets fans don't hate themselves enough. And now it's like this guy picked the Jets as their homecoming game.
Starting point is 00:39:35 It's professional football. He's lucky. That's all he did. Richard Seymour steps on the field today. He probably would have sacked Mike White three and a half times. Yeah, he definitely could have got. And how is Mike White their backup? How do they not have like an old crafty guy?
Starting point is 00:39:51 So that's the thing for everybody who says, hey, just put the rookie in right away. It's like, hey, you know a good way to guarantee that? Make Mike White your backup. Then your rookie's definitely getting in week one and probably sticking around two more weeks longer than he should have. I'm shocked at Zach Wilson and I know that team has other problems,
Starting point is 00:40:08 but I thought he would step up today. I really did. My most disappointing one, I really like the Bears getting all those points today and I thought they would have, I thought it was going to be like a 17-10 type game where they hung around, they were super
Starting point is 00:40:23 conservative, big pass rush. No. Fields just got demolished the entire game. I couldn't tell how much of it was his fault and how much of it was the Bucs were just in his face the entire game. But they were never in the game for a single moment. Well, I don't have to tell you this.
Starting point is 00:40:40 I mean, you lived it. But Brady does a thing where all the drives that could be threes or sevens. And then by the time you look up, it's 21-3. And you're the other dog on the road. And you don't have a chance. But you and I called it. I think we might have even done the Mike and the Mad Dog thing. We went over the Bears' schedule.
Starting point is 00:40:56 We figured them at 2-5. And Nagy's first coach fired. We didn't know about any of the screwed nonsense at the time, of course. They're 3-4. And their win was against the Raiders. That was the screwy. They could have been 2-5. They could still get there.
Starting point is 00:41:11 I mean, they can't get to 2-5, but they can get to where we think they will. Well, from what you saw from that game today, would it shock you if Matt Nagy was relieved of his duties tomorrow? Because I wouldn't be shocked. The Bears looked completely overmatched and seem like they had no plan. I guess. I don't know what the club house is like if he's lost the team yet, but it does
Starting point is 00:41:32 look like Justin Fields has a ways to go to get over the hump there. They have injured running backs. It's a weird committee. Their defense should be better at this point every game and not just every other game or every third game. So I don't know what it is like in the clubhouse.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Like you said, the NFC is weak. So three and four is a candidate for the playoffs at this point. Yeah. Soon enough, it could happen. Yeah, I wonder if there's a two and five team right now that still could make the playoffs realistically. Well, San Francisco's two. Are they two and five or not? I don't know if that team's any good.
Starting point is 00:42:08 No, I know. Of course not. Yeah, right? Are there any other two and five teams? Two and five seems like... They're two and four. Sorry, they had the bye. So Seattle's two and four
Starting point is 00:42:21 with potentially Russ coming back in a couple weeks. So the Eagles and Giants are two and five. I think those are cross-offs, right? Yeah, those are cross-offs. So Seattle's 2-4 with potentially Russ coming back in a couple weeks. So the Eagles and Giants are 2-5. I think those are cross-offs, right? Yeah, those are cross-offs. I actually have the Washington team almost below those teams at this point. You might have your division done before the Thanksgiving game. Wouldn't that be nice?
Starting point is 00:42:38 Wouldn't that just be nice for once? This is like you've turned into the Patriots. We've done a role reversal. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. You used to get so mad when the Patriots would have the seven-game lead heading into December 1st
Starting point is 00:42:53 in their own division. Yeah, it was obnoxious. It was really obnoxious. Now you get to live it. You've got to just be riding high. I'll say this about Tampa, though. They played New Orleans this week. Who's going to beat them? Did you see their schedule? They play New Orleans this week. They have a bye week.
Starting point is 00:43:12 This is the rest of their schedule. Washington, Giants, Indy, Atlanta, Buffalo, one hard one, Saints, Carolina, Jets, Carolina. Carolina my God. Carolina apparently sucks,
Starting point is 00:43:27 which I think was one of the revelations. So they basically have one game against an above 500 team the rest of the way, Buffalo. I don't think any of the other teams I've mentioned, except maybe the Saints could even go nine and eight. We have to look at that because I still,
Starting point is 00:43:41 I keep seeing 12 and a half as they're over on there. Now that might go over, but they should definitely have 10 wins going into Panthers, Jets, Panthers, the last three. Well, the one I was thinking was, I think Tampa and Dallas, just betting both of those to win the NFC,
Starting point is 00:43:58 one of them is going to be one and one of them is going to be two. And that one is going to be huge this year to not only get the bye week, but then you have the home field. I like the cut of your jibs. I just think those are the two teams. I don't really see... I haven't
Starting point is 00:44:14 seen anybody else that I think... Nobody gives the Packers any credit. Nobody loves... And even today, they won a little bit ugly. They still covered the spread. People are giving away free money. It's like they're trying to give away crypto to homeless camp. People are giving away free money. It's like they're trying to give away crypto to that homeless camp. People are like, what? What is this crap? But just
Starting point is 00:44:29 bet them. They're going to win. They're going to win 12 games. It's fine. I know. I had them in my big tees this week, and I sweated it out. Fucking Heineken's running around doing stuff, and you're just like, oh my god. I really have to sweat. And then Heineken does Heineken things and gives you the ball back.
Starting point is 00:44:47 But there were moments in that game where I was really sweating. No, sure. And they don't win 43-9 at home, right? That's the thing you want them to do. That's not like Buffalo will do that. Tampa Bay obviously does it. Arizona. I mean, so you're taking the Cowboys and Bucs.
Starting point is 00:45:02 We haven't seen the Cardinals lose a game yet. I'm taking the Cowboys and Bucs. We haven't seen the Cardinals lose a game yet. I'm taking the Cowboys and Bucs. I would rather go heavy on those two. And like Kyler today, he got the shit kicked out of him again today in a meaningless game against Houston. Took like four huge hits in that game. I am not confident that he's making it four months
Starting point is 00:45:23 without being dinged up. I just think he... I don't like the hits he takes. Do you? No, I don't love him either. I like how he spreads it out, and Zach Ertz is a nice little improvement there. Red zone. Hit him at the 35, and he ends up in the end zone. I think he hit all three receivers
Starting point is 00:45:40 for touchdowns, right? He did. It was Hopkins and AJ Green. I have legitimate durability concerns about them. Really good team, though. Really fun to watch. They're fast.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Explosive. The Ertz thing was a fun addition. Yeah, well, you're not going to get much out of watching them play the Texans, but they take care
Starting point is 00:45:59 of business. But the Texans and the Lions, I think, play hard for shitty teams. The Lions, definitely. Is there any way to pick a bottom five? Texans, Lions, Jets?
Starting point is 00:46:12 I have it. Let's do it. Texans, Lions, Jets. We may... All right. And then maybe two NFC East teams? No, I have... Starting from worst up, Houston, Detroit, Jacksonville, Jets, Miami.
Starting point is 00:46:28 I think that's the bottom five. Houston, Detroit, Jacksonville, Jets, Miami. Yeah. I think Miami has to be bottom five. Man, you talk about a coach that, I know he won double digit last year, and we'll guess the lines in a second, but they are, what a downfall that is. The Falcons just dying to give games away. They can't wait.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Oh, my God. It's a going out of business sale. They're like, all right, here you go. Oh, Matt Ryan. All right, I don't want to throw an interception. I'll fumble. Just hit me from behind. So I fumble.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Like, really? You're not going to take this from us? All right. What can we do? We have to beat you. I mean, that says so much about this Dolphins team. Is it possible that Matt Ryan
Starting point is 00:47:09 has had a turnover with the lead in more games than anybody over the last 30 years? It's like karaoke at this point. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:16 This time I was watching and like, oh, I can't, I wonder what the Ryan turnover is going to be. And then he gave it to them. Miami comes down. Tua actually made
Starting point is 00:47:24 a couple of plays. are you out on Tua? Did you say it was like karaoke? What does that mean? It's just like cue up A5. Here's Matt Ryan turnover. It's raining, man. I'm out on Tua. I don't know where you are. I just don't
Starting point is 00:47:39 think he's a winning starting quarterback. I don't either. You know who else doesn't? The Dolphins. I wonder how much it matters that every other sports break-in is about a potential to it. Like, all right, let's do it already. What needs to happen?
Starting point is 00:47:55 We're not ever going to solve this thing with the women and Tashaun Watson in time for the end of the year. So is it happening in the next week or is it happening in two years? I think it's going to be Carolina. That's where he's going. I think that team's more aggressive and probably closer to being a Superbowl
Starting point is 00:48:14 team. Um, and you think like they signed Gilmore. I mean the McCaffrey to Chuba Hubbard drop off. Holy shit. That Chuba Hubbard, like there's a reason he's a backup. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:26 The play where Darnold had the safety, the safety got set up because Hubbard dropped a wide-open screen pass over the middle that would have given them some room. Like, he's just, he's like Bizarro McCaffrey. What the hell happened to Sam Darnold, though?
Starting point is 00:48:39 He led the league in rushing a few weeks ago. He lost his confidence, though. This is what happened with the Jets. I guess it's not what he signed up for. He gave up a second rounder for We lost his confidence, though. This is what happened with the Jets. I guess it's not what he signed up for without McCaffrey. I guess it's not exactly what we signed up for
Starting point is 00:48:50 and what he signed up for, but... I guess. You think... You got to beat the Giants. This team is decimated. Everybody out. The Giants had everyone out.
Starting point is 00:48:58 The Titans had everyone out. And those games weren't close for a minute. Dimes was okay in there. Like, he actually looked... He looked really good, I thought, today. Good receiver. close for a minute. Dimes was okay in there. He actually looked really good, I thought, today. Good receiver.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Hey, this episode of the Bill Simmons podcast brought to you by Uber Eats. Uber Eats makes any game better, and it doesn't matter what time of day it is, when there's a game on, you're going to eat. I had salad today. I got a salad order. What did you have? What did you eat today? I did the Uber Eats and we
Starting point is 00:49:27 had fried chicken. Fried chicken? I'm not happy. It was like 20 minutes before this podcast. Did it make you tired? No, it didn't. In fact, I was feeling good. I was feeling energized. I think it was because there was no London game, but no, fried chicken's great. Tonight I'll be eating Uber Eats, the official on-demand food delivery partner of the NFL. Uber Eats bringing you game day deals all season long. Buy one, get one when you order now. You know why I like having
Starting point is 00:49:54 the salad? What? Because I don't move for like 12 hours. I don't want to compound. We're too old now. I get it. Compound that with the heavy food. I don't want a lecture for moving. I don't need a lecture. I know. At least like feel like I treated my body. Uber Eats official partner of the NFL offered good
Starting point is 00:50:09 for select items at participating restaurants for a limited time. See app for details and availability. All right. Let's guess the lines. Week eight. Oh man. It's the first time I got sad. Why are you sad? We got...
Starting point is 00:50:28 Week 8. Now it's like we're headed toward Halloween, which heads us toward Thanksgiving. And then all of a sudden, we're half... I know. You're right. All right. Well, you beat the Jets.
Starting point is 00:50:39 You have three wins and two of them are against the Jets. Don't be so sad. It's going to be great. I still... I like my team. I think my team is going to be heard from down the stretch. Do you like them better than the Colts right now?
Starting point is 00:50:52 I mean, I know you like them better, but... I think they're in that mix with the Colts and Titans and Chiefs and all those teams. I think there's like seven AFC teams like that. But at least with us, the arrow's pointing up,
Starting point is 00:51:06 you know? Yeah. Today was the first complete game they played where it looked like our offensive coordinator finally showed up for the season.
Starting point is 00:51:13 I don't know where the fuck he was the first six games. Thursday night, really good one. Thursday night's a good TV night this week. Cardinals-Packers in Arizona.
Starting point is 00:51:24 What do you mean? What am I missing? What else? There's good hoops. Oh, okay. All right. Then look ahead. There's some good hoops.
Starting point is 00:51:32 World Series, that starts on Tuesday, right? Tuesday, yeah. So that'll be an off day. Yeah, so no World Series game. Yeah, off day. This is tough. I got to start a new streak here right 11 in a row done
Starting point is 00:51:47 now I gotta start over you're counting the one where you pick the game but it didn't cover you stop with that what do you want me to do you counting that first of all I saw your piece last Thursday you did a whole piece about how your amazing streak and telling
Starting point is 00:52:03 people that was like the ultimate self-jinx I've ever seen. I know. What were you trying to do? Why didn't you pet a black cat? I wanted somebody to give me recognition because I know once it's over, it's over. And now it's over. Well, you certainly did everything you could to end it. I've never seen somebody
Starting point is 00:52:19 obey less jinx rules. The defensive line for the freaking Broncos did everything to relieve me of this record. My God. Listen, you bet against Case Keenum. You can't do that. I need one mistake from him. I need one. Where was the one mistake? You can guarantee with him.
Starting point is 00:52:35 And then they pulled you back in with the touchdown. Alright, Thursday night. I got the cards three and a half over the Packers. That's what you're saying? Or you saw... You're just looking at the line.
Starting point is 00:52:48 That's my bet. That's my pick. That's exactly what it is. I said two and a half. Yeah. You hit it exactly. You said two and a half. So you think neutral field Packers would be favored over the Packers?
Starting point is 00:52:58 I'm always a Packers guy. I always think they're better than everybody else does. I didn't want to pull the trigger on the three yet. But... It's a tough one. How do you bet against the 7-0 Cardinals at this point? They lose that game too, right? I'm sorry. I'm just going through it in my head.
Starting point is 00:53:14 Green Bay's lost in... They lost the playoff game in Arizona. I'm just trying to think all the times. Wasn't there a Super Bowl in Arizona? Oh, God. Yeah, you're right. They've had some good Arizona games. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:23 That was the Hail Mary game that year. Right. Yep. We watch it at Romo. Yeah. That was when we knew Romo was going to be a good announcer. Not that he was going to make $18 million a year, but we saw it firsthand. I think we helped him, actually.
Starting point is 00:53:37 Did we? Yeah, he was like C+. And they're like, no, you should say this. No, you should say this. That's true. We did coach him a lot. I remember that. Sunday Marquee, I'll let you pick.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Is it Colts Titans or is it Chargers Pats? Or is it Bucs Saints? Give it your game, I think. Oh, that's nice of you. Yeah, why not? All right. Chargers Pats. It's in LA.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Are you going to this? I'm not going. Why? I'm not going. Why? I'm not going. I like watching football at home. This is a late game and you'll have three other games that you don't care about. It's Halloween. Halloween's my favorite day of the year. Oh, that's the other thing. Alright.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Well, I have it really bad. My team's actually playing at night. I just want to say, I think this could be the largest collection of Boston transplants in one LA arena that we've ever had wow I think there's going to be
Starting point is 00:54:34 50,000 Boston fans at this game maybe more interesting including nephew Kyle who's ditching our podcast to go he is
Starting point is 00:54:42 good for you Kyle Kyle said fuck you guys. I'm out. I'm going to root for my guys. No, Kyle, you can go, but just try to get back in a half hour. No, he didn't want to. Kyle's going to go.
Starting point is 00:54:53 He's going to have 10 drinks. He's going to be Ubering home. He's never getting home. We won't see him till Monday. No, we'll see him maybe the following Sunday. Yeah. So I was thinking about this because we went to some really good Red Sox Angels games
Starting point is 00:55:04 in the early 2000s where there were some really good Red Sox Angels games in the early 2000s where there were a lot of Red Sox fans there. But there's never been... And, you know, obviously, Staples Center, there's Clipper games where there would be like... Before the Clippers got good, there would be 14,000 Celtics fans
Starting point is 00:55:18 and 3,000 Clipper fans. This is going to be like 50,000 Boston fans. So if you hate Boston, you're probably not going to enjoy the crowd this year. Well, you say it's the biggest in any... I'm trying to think. Well, it's the first time we've had a Boston game
Starting point is 00:55:31 in an LA football stadium like this. Well, remember they gave out... It wasn't a sporting event, but they gave out asshole pills at Dodger Stadium and then like 80,000 Patriot fans showed up. I'm sorry. I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah, you're sorry. I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Forgot about that. I have, uh, I have the chargers. I factored this into my pick
Starting point is 00:55:52 because I feel like this is a borderline home game for the Pats. Chargers by four. All right. I went higher. I said four and a half. It is five and a half. Ooh, Vegas zone. Vegas zone. They had a bye, right? The Chargers? Yeah. That's about right. That's about right. This is a good matchup. This is going to tell us a lot, I think. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Well, I think for the Pats going 3-5, I think the playoffs become unrealistic. I don't think you could drop 2 below 500 at the midway point. You're going to be in this, though. Not in the AFC. I think we're going to be around. Well, I mean, the Chargers still 32nd in the league against the Rush.
Starting point is 00:56:34 So that's where you thrive. The thing with the Chargers, which I don't know if they factored this in the line or not, but you know their field goal kicker is going to cost them between four and seven points, right? Sure, right? Sure. We're factoring that in. Five and a half plus the missed field goal we're going to get.
Starting point is 00:56:52 That's a good point. With Tucker, this is a nine-point favorite if they have a regular kicker. Yeah, I'm with you. Hey, Kyle, can you come on for one second? He's gone gone he already left for the game
Starting point is 00:57:06 yo first of all thanks for ditching us next week where scale of 1 to 10 where are you with Mac Jones
Starting point is 00:57:17 right now for absolute affection 10 he's actually he's Mac Stone by the way his name is Mac Stones
Starting point is 00:57:23 cause he's got big balls Bill he's got big balls, Bill. He's Max Stones. Sal, I think I'm also a 10. I fucking love Mac Jones. I absolutely love this guy. Belichick came over to him today
Starting point is 00:57:37 when they were at the end of the game. Giddy, happy Belichick came over, gave him a big handshake. I fucking love this guy. He's good. He's taking a shitload. You killed him last week. Randy Gregory murdered him.
Starting point is 00:57:52 He should be dead. He shouldn't even be alive. I'm with you. He's gritty. He's got everything you want. And he's got two wins against the Jets. Maybe just calm down. Just calm down a little bit.
Starting point is 00:58:04 I thought the thing that was really, I think he's getting crisper as these games are going. The play action stuff today, he was very like young Brady-ish. That was one of the things, the early 2000s Brady's. He was always good at like the fluidness of some of this stuff.
Starting point is 00:58:20 And Mack today, I thought that was the most fluid he's looked. Now, granted, he's playing the Jets. All right. 50 is 50. 50 is a lot of points either way. That was a nice job. I love Mack Jones, and I can't believe we got him with the 15th pick.
Starting point is 00:58:33 It's unbelievable to me. This whole league is built around everybody's looking for a quarterback, desperately. The Carolinas trading second rounders for Sam Darnold. Indies trading conditional first for Carson Wentz. Denver's trading for Teddy Bridgewater. Fucking Mac Jones
Starting point is 00:58:49 falls to 15 right in our lap. Yep. It's unbelievable. That's great. And the Jets are in your division. The only reason
Starting point is 00:58:57 you're not mad now is because your Cowboys are probably going to be Yeah, I'll let you have fun. I mean, we beat you last week. Yeah. 49ers are at the Bears.
Starting point is 00:59:09 I have to check this one again. Shanahan making one more run at going 450 winning percentage. He wants to hit Walt Michaels. You think they'll flash the stat when he does it? Next up, Jerry Glanville the genius kyle shanahan tell me more about his power sweeps 31 and 39 who knows he's got oh my god in his sights oh watch how he pulled this tight end out to the
Starting point is 00:59:38 left oh they lost again uh i have uh the 49ers favorite against the Bears by one point I said one and a half this says four I have to check it 49ers by four that can't be right four and forty three and a half the genius Kyle Shanahan yep
Starting point is 01:00:00 I don't know about that I advise everyone just not bet this game. Just don't do not even look. This should be the last you hear of it. The two of us discussing it. I've had a wonderful time this year. Never betting a game with two bad teams. I've for seven straight weeks.
Starting point is 01:00:20 I've not put money on a straight up game that involved two bad teams. I thought today I'd looked at the Raiders Eagles for a while. Not that the Raiders are a bad team. They're five and two, but just anything like where there's not some sort of certainty. I'm out. I thought you said you bet the Patriots over the jets today. Oh,
Starting point is 01:00:37 no, they're good. You're good again. I don't know what to say. Like that Carolina giants game is the perfect example of a game. I'm just staying away from all year. I'm an idiot. I want no part of it. You're good again. I don't know what to say. That Carolina Giants game is the perfect example of a game I'm just staying away from all year. I'm an idiot. I want no part of it. I'm an idiot. That was done by me. That was a fixed line, two and a half against this Giants team that's miserable and banged up.
Starting point is 01:00:54 It did look fishy. Stupid. I took the wrong side. I follow one of the Vegas accounts and they have the five most bet, least bet games every week. And I think the Giants was the single least bet game. I saw that like a half hour before. I was like, oh man. Right.
Starting point is 01:01:11 You could just, people loading up on the Panthers for no reason at all. Yeah. They've looked like dog shit for three weeks now. He actually sees ghosts in MetLife.
Starting point is 01:01:19 I didn't believe in ghosts until today. It's a true thing. Bucs Saints. This is in New Orleans. As we mentioned, thing. Bucs Saints. This is in New Orleans. As we mentioned, if the Bucs get through this game, they will only play one good team the entire
Starting point is 01:01:32 rest of the season. It's pretty crazy. Brady really played this perfectly. Goes to a team with a shitload of weapons, convinces them to sign Antonio Brown, brings Gronk back, and somehow has an easy schedule every year like he did in New England. Do you know how hard it is to throw
Starting point is 01:01:48 three touchdowns to Mike Evans, a guy who gets hurt every other play and sits out six plays? To get him to ball three times in the end zone? Good job by you, Brady. Pretty crazy. I have the Bucs by six. Yeah, I thought I went seven. I thought that was
Starting point is 01:02:04 really close to the number. It's four and a half. Vegas. Doesn't it seem like the Saints have been off for three? I feel like we've seen them play two games. I don't know. Obviously, they play Monday. When do we get Michael Thomas back? Could it be next week? Everyone
Starting point is 01:02:19 in fantasy has him stashed. Right. Michael Thomas, what does it say? The first three articles I read on him, it says he's disgruntled. Is anyone gruntled? No one's gruntled, yeah. He's super gruntled.
Starting point is 01:02:38 He's still a couple weeks away, it says. Okay. Keep us posted, disgruntled Michael Thomas. Barely watchables. We have two. One is Bill's Dolphins, which you'd figure the Bills murdered them last time. The Dolphins
Starting point is 01:02:55 are one in six. This is a kitchen sink game if there ever was one. This is also, we should mention, the last set of games for the trade deadline. So you have, you know, if Miami's going to get Watson, it has to be the next week or so. If the Eagles are going to complete their tank,
Starting point is 01:03:15 which they should because they're 2-5, although they do play the Lions this week. If they're going to have a fire sale for some of their dudes, this would be the week. So Miami's 1-6, They're going to lose this game. Most likely. They're definitely going to lose this game. They have seven losses. They'd have to run the table to go 10-7. They'd have to go 9-1.
Starting point is 01:03:35 It's not happening. If it's 9-8, they'd have to go 8-1. They could still do it. Problem is they don't have their pick. They have no incentive to pack it in. Whereas the Eagles can be like, cool, let's start losing.
Starting point is 01:03:49 Sure. I have the Bills by 10.5 in Buffalo. That's exactly what I said. And it's 13.5. Oh, man. What is this line week one? Jesus. Five?
Starting point is 01:04:02 Yeah, it would be like four and a half, five. What happened to this team? Poor Dolphins. Tough one. The other barely watchable I have is Browns Steelers. This could be Case Kingdom against Ben Roethlisberger's corpse. The balls will be up for grabs.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Anyone who bets in this game has a gambling problem. I'm just going to put that out there. And I have the Browns favored by three points. Yep, we both have three. It's exactly three. Yeah, we have. And Miles Garrett, I can't remember. Did he have number seven? Did he have Big Ben in the
Starting point is 01:04:37 graveyard at his house? I don't know. Did he? I think he might have. And if not, he could add him. Let's see. Yeah, this game, I don't know. I'm not happy with the Browns, obviously, for last week. But their offensive line should get a lot of credit, right?
Starting point is 01:04:57 Like, it's just plug and play. Anybody you put in there is just going to, whether it's Dearness Johnson, who everybody scrambled to get on the waiver wire, or Chubb, or Hunt, you're just going to get whether it's Dearness Johnson, who everybody scrambled to get on the waiver wire or Chubb or Hunt, you're just going to get six yards a carry, whoever you hand the ball off to. I thought Dearness Johnson was great last Thursday. He was really good.
Starting point is 01:05:16 I asked this when Marcelo and House and I did our NBA Over-Unders podcast. I asked, has there ever been a less impactful player that we spent more time talking about than Ben Simmons? And we went through all the candidates and the answer was
Starting point is 01:05:31 Stephon Marbury. For somebody who, the most amount of dialogue for somebody versus the actual accomplishments they had. So they have to stick around.
Starting point is 01:05:41 So it's not a Greg Oden type, right? No, no, no. Yeah, so they have to be around for a few years. We're talking, we're talking, we're talking. I think Odell's in the running for this. Oh. What has Odell done?
Starting point is 01:05:52 Has he even won a playoff game? I don't remember. I said, like, he doesn't look... You know what he did? He made that crazy catch against Dallas at night. And it's the clip that everyone will see forever. And the sticky glove. And he was loud and he kicked the tee.
Starting point is 01:06:07 And he had some good years. He had a couple of all-pro years. But he does not look like a wide receiver at all. Like I joked about like there were like five positions I would guess that he was drafted for before wide receiver. And he gets hurt all the time. Yeah, it seems like his role in the Browns is to dive for a ball, roll over and then limp to the sidelines. What's weird is my son who barely knows anything about football other than video games and TikTok clips. He thinks Odell is like on par with DeAndre Hopkins and Tiger Kill as one
Starting point is 01:06:39 of the best. He has no idea. How would he know? Right. Like, from a hype standpoint, that's how Odell was sold to us the last five years. Yeah. And you think, like, he's... I don't know. Is he one of the three best receivers in the Browns now? I don't know. There's Peoples Jones. There's Allianz Jones.
Starting point is 01:06:57 I would take anyone. Landry? Yeah. What's his name? Schwartz is probably better at this point. Yeah. It's weird that the Browns are a possible playoff team and they kind
Starting point is 01:07:08 of missed the Baker pick. He's not bad. It's not like Josh Rosen, but I'm sorry if they did it over again they're not taking him. And then the Odell trade was their big swing and that didn't really work out either way. It's not like the Giants are like, oh man, look at all we got for Odell Beckham. They got
Starting point is 01:07:24 that safety who they're trying to trade right now you know while you brought him up you brought up your son and you brought up Ben Simmons before and I was thinking about I was driving the other day I was like has the irony set in for you that you named your son after like the most hated I don't know if it's most hated or most confusing or most talked about in a negative way. Basketball, basketball is your, your number one favorite sport and you named your son after
Starting point is 01:07:51 Ben Simmons, the most, most, most popular one. I didn't intentionally name him after. I don't know. I mean, what was he,
Starting point is 01:07:56 seven or eight years old? Probably. I remember when we started hearing about him in 14, 15, and it was like the best 10th grader in the world
Starting point is 01:08:04 was Ben Simmons. Like, oh, that's weird. That's my son's name. Yeah the best 10th grader in the world is Ben Simmons. Like, Oh, that's weird. That's my son's name. Yeah. That would suck if this was the next LeBron. And then he became the number one pick in the draft.
Starting point is 01:08:13 And it was like, all right, maybe this will be cool, but it doesn't seem like he's going to be as good as LeBron. So maybe we ducked out of that. He won't be Michael Jordan. And now it's like, he's named after the guy who, if he's playing basketball
Starting point is 01:08:26 at recess and he misses a shot, they go, oh, just like the other Ben Simmons. Right. Now it's like a way to heckle my son because he has the same name as Ben Simmons. Absolutely. Wasn't what we were expecting with this whole thing. No, I actually think you could sue because it's not, you know, it's not something you anticipated. I mean, it's like my Ben Simmons loves it. He feels like he's the better.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Does he really? Yeah. He's having a great flag football season. He's like, Hey, I'm killing it. I can't help with the other. That's not bad.
Starting point is 01:08:53 Does he play with a cell phone in his pocket? That's what Ben Simmons, the Ben Simmons would do. Poop. Oh, let's we'll take one more break and then we're going to do poop. Okay. Poop fact. Oh, we'll take one more break and then we're going to do Poopfecta. Okay, Poopfecta.
Starting point is 01:09:10 This is a new record for us, Sal. It's a lot. I have six games in the Poopfecta. I don't think we've ever had that many, but I think that's kind of an indictment of where we are with this league right now. There's a lot of bad teams and below average teams.
Starting point is 01:09:22 Oh, you know what we never did? We never did Tennessee-Indianapolis because you said one of two. Oh, shit. You're right. You're right. Good call. Yeah, let's do Tennessee.
Starting point is 01:09:33 I had that in the watchables. Yeah. So, Tennessee-Indianapolis. It's in Indy. I have Colts by two and a half. I have to check this one too because I botched it. It's yours
Starting point is 01:09:45 I had Tennessee by two It's Colts by one and a half You get it You know I did it before the game but just the same Let's bet the Colts this week I can't bet once again I didn't enjoy it No let's do it I don't like when he scrambles and his limbs are just going
Starting point is 01:10:04 In different directions. He's fine. That's exciting. I'm out. Poop Fecta. We got six, starting off with Atlanta, home against Carolina. And if you bet on this game, you have a game we probably
Starting point is 01:10:19 just point blank. You're betting one team has met right. The other team has Darnold who got benched who then after the game they're like no no he's still our quarterback we just had to bench him
Starting point is 01:10:30 against the Giants no McCaffrey for this game Falcons have to be favored I'm going to say Falcons by three why isn't it more I said four and a half you're going to get it
Starting point is 01:10:39 it's two and a half this should be more I'm rooting Falcons I want vindication remember you and I when Falcons. I want vindication. Remember, you and I when Falcons and Broncos begin the season, I passed on the Broncos. I'm still on the Falcons corner, even though
Starting point is 01:10:51 I know they're going to slug me in the jaw at the end of this game. I hedged the Broncos my future bet on them with the Browns game on Thursday night, so I'm clear with them. But I hate saying this. I kind of don't feel like we're
Starting point is 01:11:08 out of this Falcons bet yet. What's our... Yeah, no. Wasn't the over-under was like eight, right? Yeah. We're all right. They're three and three. Oh, I have them make the playoffs. I might have a different bet than you. Yeah. I have both of them. I have
Starting point is 01:11:23 make the playoffs and I have whatever their over-under was. Yeah. I have both of them. I have make the playoffs and I have whatever they're over under was seven and a half. Right. Wasn't that it? I can't remember now. I think that sounds right. If they can get past Carolina, they still have two New Orleans games left. They play my paths
Starting point is 01:11:39 at home. They have Jacksonville. They have Detroit. 49ers. they could get to nine wins it's not like unrealistic throwing one upset there this is fun
Starting point is 01:11:50 Pitts had a great game right they have 160 yards like this is this is the explosive team we thought we'd see except they almost blew it it's funny
Starting point is 01:12:00 they figured out what to do kind of how to use Pitts I felt like the first couple games whatever they were doing, he never seemed like he was open. Now they're splitting him off the line, almost like a receiver.
Starting point is 01:12:12 And he's devastating. It helps when Ridley's there and Gay. These guys didn't make the trip to London. For sure, it helps when they're in the lineup. Eagles-Lions. It's in Detroit. Jared Goff says,
Starting point is 01:12:29 we're a lot better than our record shows. I do feel like we're a lot better than 0-7. I don't know if I'd go with a lot. Well, it's a lot. I'll give them 1-6. You might be slightly better than 0-7. You might be 1-6. I'll give them 0-6 and 1.
Starting point is 01:12:44 A lot better is strong. I do think this is the game they could win to screw our... I mean, we might have to hedge this out. We have the Lions for worst record at plus 400. Yeah. And this is one of the only games
Starting point is 01:12:58 left on the schedule for them that they can win. Yeah. But then we have to bet... Oh, we bet the Lions plus the 3.5. Sorry. Well, I gave you Oh, we bet the Lions plus the three and a half. Sorry. Well, I gave you a bunch of...
Starting point is 01:13:07 Yeah, we could... I was going to say Lions by three or Lions plus three. Eagles by three. Right. Yeah, I got it exactly. This is one I got exactly. Three and a half is the line.
Starting point is 01:13:18 Yeah. Well, that's a good hedge. Well, but we could split too. Like they could... They and the Texans could both have one win. Isn't that possible? And then we get half that money.
Starting point is 01:13:29 I'm going to say something insane. I think when Taylor comes back, I think the Texans can win one or two more. I don't think they're bad. I think they can play for like, they can play with somebody for like a half. And then because they can't, they don't have a quarterback, it eventually dies for them.
Starting point is 01:13:46 Wow. It must be really late at night. I don't know why you're saying these things. I just think they can win two more. I think they get to three and 13. What? Let me, let me,
Starting point is 01:13:56 here's the counter to that. And that is not pro or anti Texans. The Lions to the kitchen sink. They threw the neighbor's kitchen sink. Everybody, they went to home Depot. They do every kitchen sink. They threw the neighbor's kitchen sink. Everybody, they went to Home Depot. They threw every kitchen sink. They didn't get their hands on fake punts.
Starting point is 01:14:09 How many times are you going to run a fake punt? And it worked every time. Like, they looked like they had to get Goff this win. It was the only time they were going to do this. Like, they'll just let it, please, coach, please. I'll cry for you at the post-game press conference. Just get me that win. And they lost by nine.
Starting point is 01:14:26 I mean, they covered, but they couldn't even get within a touchdown. I don't think I've ever seen a fake punt and an onside kick in the first quarter of a game before. That's what I want. I loved it. If you suck, why wouldn't you do that every week? Why wouldn't you be doing as many kooky plays as you can? You're trying to even the play.
Starting point is 01:14:44 Absolutely. Get up 10, not, but that's the problem. They couldn't, it was only three, nothing forever, right?
Starting point is 01:14:48 They couldn't, they couldn't turn those into seven. Right. Um, speaking of sucks, the jets are home. Hmm. The jets lose to the pats by 50 and Zach Wilson gets hurt.
Starting point is 01:14:59 It was your worst. And Belichick's rubbing on at the end. If you're a jets fan, it was your worst case scenario. At least you have, you got a second rounder for Darnold. And you're going to have a top four
Starting point is 01:15:09 pick again. Great spot for the Bengals. I went Bengals by nine at the Jets. Yeah, that's what I had. Eight and a half is the number. That's a teaser. That's a teaser. Yeah, that's one where
Starting point is 01:15:24 you jump on that tonight or tomorrow morning and get the six and a half That's a teaser. That's a teaser. Yeah, that's one where... Come on. You jump on that tonight or tomorrow morning and get the six and a half or seven point tease, try to get it under three and bring it with other... There's no way the Jets can hang with the Bengals. I'm with you. It's got maybe for three quarters, two and a half quarters.
Starting point is 01:15:39 That's it. Rams-Texans is in Houston. I don't know what the Rams did to deserve these back-to-back games, but I have the Rams by 14. Ah, damn it. You get it. I said 13.5.
Starting point is 01:15:50 It's 14.5. 6, 7, 8. 8, 2, 3, 4, 5. Yeah, you're winning 8 to 6. There's still 4 left, right? Rams dying to be thrown into a 15-point tease. Available on FanDuel. Let me tell you something. The Rams, you want to look at a schedule? That team, I think, is going to be like into a 15-point tease. Available on FanDuel. Let me tell you something.
Starting point is 01:16:05 The Rams, you want to look at a schedule? That team, I think, is going to be like 9-1. Yeah. Or 9-2 or something. Last six are pretty brutal, aren't they? Yeah, we probably don't need to do all that. I don't know why I did this. So, yeah, they have the Texans, Titans, Niners, Packers.
Starting point is 01:16:24 Yeah, they still have the Jaguars left. All right, we don't have to go into it. Yeah. There's some music. Yeah, we got to blow through these. Broncos are home for the Washington professional clown show of a football team. The Broncos are bad. I don't know why you picked them on Thursday.
Starting point is 01:16:40 I think they're like a bad team. They're bad. The Broncos are bad. Washington's bad too. Broncos by three. That's my pick. Well, I know them, but I knew you did because I said three and a half and it is three and a half. I know
Starting point is 01:16:56 they're bad, but they had the wrong quarterback in there. Teddy Two Gloves couldn't move. Mysteriously, he came to life in the second half. He really could do nothing at all in the first half. He really could do nothing at all in the first half. And then he started there. I picked the wrong side. Sunday night, your team.
Starting point is 01:17:11 No, one more. One more. Jacksonville-Seattle, right? Oh, yeah, you're right. One more. There's so many Poop Factor games, I missed one. Seahawks, home for the Jags. You're going to win this one, too.
Starting point is 01:17:22 I was way off. I said Seahawks four and a half. Yeah, I said six. It's three and a half. Yeah. Seahawks are bad. Seahawks, when we talked about the five worst teams in the league. No.
Starting point is 01:17:33 The Seahawks might be moving in that group if they get killed tomorrow. Wow. I guess so. They have the worst defense in the league by all of the categories, basically. They've given up the most yards. They've given up a ton of points. Then on offense, their quarterbacks,
Starting point is 01:17:50 Gino Smith, like they're like until Wilson comes back, they're a bottom, like seven. Their quarterback is Gino Smith. I'll give you that. There's no denying that Sunday night, Cowboys Vikings in Minnesota,
Starting point is 01:18:02 both teams coming off buys. A lot of Chris. Now are going to be, Cowboys-Vikings in Minnesota. Both teams coming off buys. A lot of... Chris and I are going to be... You can almost feel how this one's going. A lot of how great Dak Prescott looks. I can't believe how good C.D. Lamb is. This Micah Parsons. What a stud. Jerry
Starting point is 01:18:20 Jones luxury box shots. This doesn't seem like it's going to be a fun night for Minnesota. And yet. Trap. It feels so trappy to me. Don't need it. Even the line I picked is trappy.
Starting point is 01:18:35 Cowboys, three and a half at Minnesota. All right, I get this one. I said two and a half, and it's only two. Ooh. Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine for you. Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine for you. Two, three, four, five, six. Seven, eight. Okay.
Starting point is 01:18:51 Nine to eight. I'm up one. You got one more. That was a half point off on this last one. Tell us about how you're feeling about this Vikings game. Well, I got to say, am I an asshole? Everybody comes over. We meet at my house.
Starting point is 01:19:02 And then the family and everyone. Then they go out trick-or-treating together. I'm not going. I don't care. I'll do something else with this. First of all, we're on right after this. So I have to watch. I'm not watching the game through neighbors' windows. Can't do it. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:19:18 Now I'll be much more gentle when I explain that to my wife. I won't be as confident. But that's the message. This is a good question, actually, because you've had three boys. What is the single best year for a Halloween boy? I think seven might be the year.
Starting point is 01:19:34 Oh, come on. Don't say that. Now you're making me feel bad. The best year? No, I think this is the number one year. Oh, for a boy. Yeah, seven. Yeah, but he doesn't need me.
Starting point is 01:19:40 Yeah, okay. No, but I'm just saying for... They're smart enough that they can go out where it's not like you're afraid they're just going to run out of the street. Yeah. Okay. No, but I'm just saying for they, they're, they're smart enough that they can go out where it's not like you're afraid they're just going to run onto the street. Right. They at least have a little street sense. They've had a couple of Halloween's under their belt.
Starting point is 01:19:53 They have some veteran experience. They still believe in it. Totally. They get dressed up for it, the whole thing. And they're competitive enough at that point where they're just trying to grab as much candy as they can. Seven,
Starting point is 01:20:04 I think is when you peak as a Halloween boy. Seven for Halloween, five for Christmas, and 51 for Thanksgiving. Monday night, Chiefs-Giants. Wow. Get it? You need it exact or you need it half off to win? A whole day of what's wrong with Patrick Mahomes.
Starting point is 01:20:26 It's in KC. Right. I have Chiefs by seven and a half. Oh, good. All right. We're going to tie. I said ten and a half and it's ten. Well, so I won because I had a lead.
Starting point is 01:20:37 Yeah, but you just lost. Oh, it's ten and a half. Yeah. Why is it so high? What is going on? Six, seven, eight, nine. The Chiefs are favored by ten and going on? 6, 7, 8, 9. The Chiefs are favored by 10 and a half? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:48 Oh, wow. Oh, they're favored by 10. I said 10 and a half. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, they're winning that game. They are? Chiefs, Bills, Bengals.
Starting point is 01:20:59 Bang. Even odd teaser. I have not put in the Chiefs. Really? No, this is their win. I lost today. No, they get everyone the Chiefs. Really? No, this is their win. I lost today. No, they get everyone back on board. They're four and four
Starting point is 01:21:08 and then they lose those miserable games we just mentioned. Come on. You know how it works. I had a really good betting day today except for betting
Starting point is 01:21:16 on the Chiefs to score over 31 points which was minus 150 and I was like either way they're scoring that many. Either it's a shootout
Starting point is 01:21:26 with Tennessee or they either way. And it's like the bet was over at 1030 in the morning. By the way, if FanDuel accidentally put a decimal in there in your favor,
Starting point is 01:21:35 over 3.1 points, you still would have lost. Oh, my God. I'm so mad at the Chiefs. I know. They suck today. They suck. All right, 4-3-1 after eight weeks.
Starting point is 01:21:47 We'll take it. Did you watch succession? I did. I did. It was a little slow, but they had to do it like that, right? You had to have that meeting. It had to be a half hour long. I like it.
Starting point is 01:22:01 I go back. I mean, Culkin's the best. He's just the best, right? He's, he's, I want to know how much of that is ad lib because he's stepping on lines purposely and I love when Kendall's like, we got to
Starting point is 01:22:15 go into Sophie's room, his daughter. And he just starts mocking. He was like, uh, uh, my, my, I can't remember my, my daughter's name. Remember her name. Good. Good.
Starting point is 01:22:28 But her line was the best. Like, uh, you love showing your pee pee to everyone, but someday you're going to have to fuck something. That was the best. Oh my God. That was great.
Starting point is 01:22:38 Yeah. It's this show. I'm not the first to make this point is always at its best when they can get the siblings in the room together. Yeah. Anytime there's a scene extended scene when they can get the siblings in the room together. Yeah. Anytime there's a scene, extended scene, where they can go back and forth, they can bring up a bitterness,
Starting point is 01:22:51 take pot shots at each other. A couple of drive-bys on poor Connor, my guy. Yeah. Worried about Connor, my favorite character. He took a beating again. And it leads to Kendall's like, well, forget it, you're irrelevant. Kicks him out, gets rid of him. And then he like, well, forget it. You're irrelevant. Kicks him out. Gets rid of him.
Starting point is 01:23:06 And then he's in the limo at the end. He just tells his call girl girlfriend, like, we're calling the playoff. Tired of being pushed around. The play's done. You know, just like Cameron did in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I'm tired of being pushed around. Yeah, I feel like he's going to drive
Starting point is 01:23:22 Logan Roy's Ferrari backwards out of the garage. It was good. So it took two episodes to set up. All right, now it's three against one with the siblings. Logan at least has the facade of everything's all right. I couldn't explain to me what you thought your interpretation was at the tail end with Jerry. Where he said... I watched it three times.
Starting point is 01:23:46 Yeah. I didn't understand. Was he saying she was going to be the fall lady? He's going to set her up is the only thing I thought maybe, right? She's close to me. It makes sense that she would be it. They have to get a woman to blame for this to look like he wasn't a monster. That's
Starting point is 01:24:02 what it seemed like and she was okay with it. So it's setting up Roman is going to catch wind of this and Logan doesn't realize how much Roman cares about Jerry. And it's now setting up Roman who can go Fredo at any point to actually grow some balls
Starting point is 01:24:19 and stick up for Jerry. I hadn't even thought that far. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Kendall was a cliche spouting machine in this one. It was even at the end when
Starting point is 01:24:31 he's trying to save it. He's like, it's high tide. It's high tide right now. He's just throwing the things up. Left and right. I thought it was another good one. The part that really surprised me was Logan's wife, the estranged wife, coming in with really bitter about the Holly Hunter thing last year and then coming in with some demands. If you want me back, here's what I need.
Starting point is 01:24:53 You're going to have to redo the trust. Right. Yeah. Ask for a second round pick, a first in 2023. Yeah, I like it. They set it up. I just wonder if the Shiv thing, how many times I could see that where they stopped just short
Starting point is 01:25:10 of making her CEO, right? It's like, all right, it's right there for you. No, we're going to yank it. You know, we grew up with Gilligan's Island. They could have gotten off the island a million times.
Starting point is 01:25:20 Right. Then it was Silicon Valley. It's like, oh, come on. How are these guys not, they're still poor. And how is Shiv still not the CEO? How is she still taking it? Which makes me think there's a quick double cross
Starting point is 01:25:34 in there somewhere soon. And also, how is Shiv this stupid about it? Yeah. Every time it's like, oh, daddy batted his eyelashes at me. I'm back. I'm in the good,
Starting point is 01:25:48 like never seems to read the tea leaves at all. Yeah. It's a really good show. I also watched Curb Your Genesity and that was good as well. Damn it.
Starting point is 01:25:56 Damn it. Albert Brooks. They went to Super Dave's real life brother to recapture some of the Super Dave magic.
Starting point is 01:26:03 Don't know how he would have, how much he would have liked that Super Dave. Super Dave probably wouldn't have liked that. Poor Super. I got a little melancholy because remember, Super wanted us to go to that Indian Wells tennis tournament. And they moved it from March. We could never go because it was during March Madness,
Starting point is 01:26:24 which is much better. But they moved it to October. It just got me sad that we didn't go. I'm excited for Curb. Missed opportunity. Alright, Paracorner, what do you got? Alright, so
Starting point is 01:26:37 I lose my streak Thursday night. I'm furious. I'm furious at everything. I'm furious mostly at myself. You're right, I jinxed myself a week ago Thursday night. What do you mean a week ago? Yeah, the last Thursday night. What? You mean a week ago Thursday night.
Starting point is 01:26:51 Oh, shut up. Stop it. I pick winners. What's the matter with you? Why don't you understand me? Why do you put the score in it? Everyone wants a score. But anyway, I go out there and I lose.
Starting point is 01:27:04 And so I'm mad. And so it's set up. I'm doing an interview. I'm doing a Zoom. But anyway, I go out there and I lose. And so I'm mad. And so it's set up. I'm doing an interview. I'm doing a Zoom. I'm on TV. Like Fox Local LA has a sports roundup. I'm sorry. I don't remember the name.
Starting point is 01:27:15 I'm on Thursday nights. Vince Ferragamo host and Jackie Slater, two legendary Rams. Ferragamo made the Super Bowl. Jackie Slater's in the Hall of Fame. So I'm mad that I have to do this. And I said earlier, I'm like, hey, what's this going to be if I lose the streak? They're like, oh, we'll talk about other things. I'm like, all right.
Starting point is 01:27:32 So now, and it's immediately after the game. So I'm pissed. I have to get my composure. It's live. I can't swear. I can't be too angry, but I want to be. So I tell the family who's extra loud for some reason. I'm like, hey, everyone shut up. I'm going to be on TV live and have to do it from my office.
Starting point is 01:27:50 And everyone just shut up because I'm mad. And let me just get through this and that'll be that. So I go on and Jackie Slater, I'm like, oh, I can't believe I lost. And Jackie Slater is like, now Cal, Cal, you said Denver would win. I'm like, Cal, you're calling me Cal? He's like, well, that's what I have written down as if that makes it okay that he has Cal as my name written down. I'm like, are you saying Cousin Sal? Are you shortening? He's like, no, I have Cal written down. I was like, all right, great. So now I have 11 minutes now with being called Cal by Jackie Slater. This is all a favor. So I get out of my office and the family is going nuts.
Starting point is 01:28:27 They're like, oh, Cousin Cal! There's Cousin Cal! The little one's got a sign made. Cal, oh, Fat Cal! Fat Cal! I think I just stormed up to my room. I was like, I've had enough of this night. That's it.
Starting point is 01:28:40 Cal. Fat Cal. My family sucks. That's it. Cow. Fat cow. My family sucks. That's great. My son, after school on Friday, him and his buddies, they went to the mall. I won't say which mall, but one of the malls in LA. Malls are back. Are they back? Malls are back.
Starting point is 01:29:05 Malls have made a comeback. People go to the mall. They run into either friends from school or friends from other schools. And they're there for like six, seven hours. Really? It's just like the 80s. When we used to go to the mall and we would go to what like strawberries where would you buy music
Starting point is 01:29:28 I don't know what that is Tower Records we had everyone could get their ears pierced multiple times right at the mall you go to the food court so I'm fascinated by the mall and my son finally comes home and I have all these questions
Starting point is 01:29:44 and he's like, no, no, we were just, you know, they kept kicking us out. I'm like, what do you mean they kept kicking you out? He's like, well, we kept trying to skateboard in there. And I'm like, what? You were trying to skateboard in the mall? It's like, yeah. And then we kept, we kept, kept getting kicked out. They were getting really mad. And then we kept trying to come back in. And then we made friends with the security guard. And then we were just in the back in the parking lot. But then we tried to come back.
Starting point is 01:30:12 And I'm like, what's going on? Why did you turn into a degenerate? What were you like smoking Marlboro Reds in the parking lot with Baby Doll Jr.? What was fun about almost getting kicked out of the mall 13 times? Like, no, no, it was really fun. And that was his night at the mall. So apparently I'm raising a degenerate. You know what else happens at the mall? Like old people go walking around to get their steps in if the weather's bad, not out here in LA. But I mean, so he's going to take some octogenarian out at the knees, skateboarding, trying to- It's like my son is now that kid. He's the to take some octogenarian out at the knees skateboarding. It's like my son is now that kid.
Starting point is 01:30:46 He's the fucking asshole in the mall with his friends. He was just getting yelled at by some security guard. He's trying to do his job. Right, exactly. This guy's just trying to get through a shift, and he has to deal with these asshole kids, one of whom is my son. I love that he was honest with you, though. Guess who's not going to the mall next week?
Starting point is 01:31:03 My son. He's not going? No, he's not going. If only there was another place to skateboard in LA. Why don't you make him a skate park? Make him something in your backyard. The thing is, I'm like,
Starting point is 01:31:15 why are you skateboarding? You could break your wrist. Their flag football team, undefeated. The playoffs are in a week. They haven't won an eighth grade title at my son's school in eight years. They've scored 200 plus points. They've given up two touchdowns all year.
Starting point is 01:31:32 I'm like, just don't get hurt for two weeks. Simmons' family has never won a banner in this school. Zoe came up short three times in the finals in hoops. Just don't get hurt for two weeks. Tell him you signed something. He can't do anything reckless like that. I might just
Starting point is 01:31:47 lock him in the house. Unbelievable. By the way, this is going to be Harrison six years from now. Him and Ben are very, very similar. He loves the skating too. Seven-year-old Ben is very similar to seven-year-old Harrison. I know. I never got the skateboard thing. Did you have to? I mean, it was too much going on to do skateboarding.
Starting point is 01:32:04 No, but that's like... It wasn't a big East Coast thing. That's like a danger thing. Those you have to, I mean, it was too much going on to do skateboarding. No, but that's like, East Coast thing. That's like a danger thing. Those kids that have like the real danger thing. It's like, those are the kids who are jumping, you know,
Starting point is 01:32:13 trying to do double flips off the swimming pool diving board. Right. There's just like certain types of kids who just have died You name them Ben Simmons.
Starting point is 01:32:20 This is your fault. I know. All right, Sal, what do you got to put? Well, I have our Fox Bet Live on FS1 Monday, Thursday, Friday this week. Thursday Night Football starting a brand new streak. Yes,
Starting point is 01:32:33 the Extra Points Podcast Network against the Lods, minus three. Oh, and a new podcast, I should mention, Megan Fun of Sports. Very funny, very insightful with Megan Galey and Megan Connelly, who's a Patriots fan, but delightful nonetheless. Two Megans.
Starting point is 01:32:50 It's hard finding Megans. We went to Fox and we went to Merkel and neither would bite. So we got the two better ones. So if there's like a third Megan who's really good at sports, that's the only way you add to that show. That's the only way. The person has to be named Megan
Starting point is 01:33:06 from now on. Yeah. Megan Kelly is on deck. So we'll get her off. She may take that offer. As always, good job on you. Good job on you, buddy. That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Kyle Creighton for producing it. I'll be back on this feed on Tuesday. Don't forget about
Starting point is 01:33:24 the rewatchables. Halloween 1978, the original. We're doing it. It's going up Monday night. Me and Chris Ryan diving into one of the greatest movies of all time. See you then. I don't have a few years with him on the wayside I'm a bruised
Starting point is 01:33:51 son I don't have a few years

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.