The Bill Simmons Podcast - Baltimore’s Back, Washington Has Arrived, KC Is Houdini, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Ravens' dominant win over the Bills, updated conference championship game predictions, and Vikings-Packers (2:06). Plus, another incredible performance from Jayden Daniels in Commanders-Cardinals, reconsidering the NFC East, Saints-Falcons (22:38), the Chiefs' unlikely win streak, a weird Jets-Broncos game, Jaguars-Texans, Steelers-Colts, and the Drake Maye debate (45:16). Then they guess the lines for NFL Week 5 (1:14:46) and close the show with Parent Corner (1:34:39). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up, it is somehow the second podcast of the weekend. NFL, Sal, next. It's the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. Football is in full action. FanDuel's highest rated sports book is the best place to bet it all. We've been doing pretty well on million dollar picks this year. I love the first month of the season

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We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where you can hear the rewatchables. Every Monday night, we put up a new episode that you can also watch on our Ringer Movies YouTube channel. I'll just tell you this. I'm not going to tell you the movie, but it's Scary Movie Month. Scary Month?

Yeah, Scary Month. That's what we're calling scary movie month. Scary month? Yeah, scary month. That's what we're calling it. October is scary month on the rewatchables. So we will be having horror movies. Tomorrow's the first one. 7th, 14th, 21st. That's five horror movies. Wow.

This is going to be exciting. So that is going to be in the rewatchables all month. And we are also going to be in New York doing a live show on October 7th. I'll tell everyone the movie on my Thursday podcast so you can have a few days to prepare for it. But very excited. We're going to be on Broadway.

We sold out. I don't know how many seats it is. It's like 1,000, 1,100. The Music Box is the location. Looking forward to seeing everybody in a week. Looking forward to talking to you, Cousin Sal, in a second about NFL. If you missed it, I did,

I'm not gonna call it an emergency pod, but a special pod, a bonus pod on Saturday because the Knicks made that big trade with Minnesota. Confusing, not sure who won it. Had to bring out Austin Rivers and we talked about it. We hashed out our opinions. I had a great time. You can also watch that podcast on YouTube.

It's only like 50 minutes, but we hit all of the basics. So we will not be talking about that trade on this podcast. We will be talking to Cousin Sal. We did it live on YouTube as always, as we do it on Sunday nights. Let's bring in our friends from Pro Ship. We're live, Sunday night, Bill Simmons podcast.

Cousin Sal is here. We're going to do Guess the Lines later. Right now, we're looking at our wounds. Buffalo Sal, all the way up to eight and a half. Seemed like the easiest tease in the world. They had other ideas. We're both a little somber. Hate starting the podcast with somber energy, but Buffalo. No, this is great because

next week is after the Steelers-Cowboys, so I expect things to be much different, but yeah, shit, man. I had them. You know, they hadn't lost by like double digits in like 20 months or something insane. I look back, and of course I did enough losing. I'm like, all right, I'll put

this with the Bills. I'll put this with the B bills. Listen, if there's a candidate running on the, we will outlaw teasers platform. I'll vote for you. I don't care. Whatever I thought before I have to be done with it. I've done three and million dollar picks and I'm over three and house. And I joked about it, but now I'm mad. Now I'm just like, I'm going to keep doing this until one of them wins and then never do one of them again. But the thought process was yeah, it'll probably be a one-score game, even if Buffalo

is down 10-11 in the fourth quarter, you know, they'll be able to get the cheap touchdown, a little backdoor action. Baltimore's defense has been letting that happen all year. Baltimore's defense was great tonight. I was really surprised. They were fast.

They're chasing Allen around. They shut down the run. They were really into it. And it was a Sunday night and they showed up. They're two and two. Their two losses are likely as foot on the line in week one against Kansas City. And then blowing that stupid Raiders game,

which will probably go down as the dumbest result of the year. But they were 0-2. We were wondering if they were even going to make the playoffs, and now they look great. They look great. I was with you. I said these teams are evenly matched, just like you.

I was like, they love blowing leads. Baltimore, as good as they look against Dallas, they try to blow that lead. They didn't. Buffalo is going to stay within one score. But someone forgot to tell Derrick Henry, Bill. Yeah, that was the best pickup of the year, I guess. It has to be.

Almost 200 yards rushing. He has not lost one step. The 87-yard touchdown to start the game. It's weird because I don't want to say he's faster because he's probably not, but he does have, it's almost like watching a train that gets momentum. And it just seems like he just has so much

momentum. It's just going faster and faster and faster. He's not like Tyreek fast. But he does pull away from these dudes still. Even after all these years, including Hamlin, who was it felt like he was like, by the time that run was over, he was like three yards ahead of everybody.

I like the narrative, wait till it gets cold and no one wants to tackle him thing. Not the third week in September, fourth week in September. He must be running with like an igloo in his chest. But yeah, it's not good. And, you know, everyone's like, personally, it's like, oh, Jerry's an effing cheapskate. You know, he didn't pay. I'm like, why don't we just pay Justice Hill? I would have taken Justice Hill at this point.

Why would we need Derrick Henry? God damn it. Well, I have both Ravens on our Keeper League. And it's gotten to the point where there might be certain matchups where you just start both of them. I don't know how many times running backs have gotten to that, but it's like, I don't know. There might be games where the two of them combined can get to 200.

My big takeaway from that game though, Sal, and this might be a rock, paper, scissors thing, and look, could have been a bad night for Buffalo. I'm not willing to say it would happen every time, but Baltimore did seem bigger. I was a little worried about Buffalo's defense with Bernard out and Milano out. Their pass rush has been good. They've looked good when they've had leads. But when they were behind and they had to just kind of stop Henry and they had to stop Justice Hill, it just felt like the size of the two teams was a little different.

Did you notice that? Yeah, definitely. I saw the speed chasing Allen down. That was the first thing that jumped out at me. And the fact that the middle was open for anything, whether it was a big run up the middle or just the pass. And everyone's like, well,

that's, that's the bills kryptonite. Like really the entire middle of the field. Like, yeah, that's the, that's the guts of their defense. I'm like,

Oh, it's going to be a long ass year. It seemed like every part of the field was their kryptonite. Yeah. So I'm in this, uh, this guillotine league this year that I told you about. I got roped in.

I'm somebody's partner and we had a terrible day today. Yeah, we had one of the best teams, but we had Brees Hall who, I,

we'll talk about him later, but I, I mean, he was one of the first, second, or third pick in every fantasy league

and he's been a catastrophe. We had that, uh, Carson Steele guy who fumbled on the first series and was never seen again. So all of a sudden we're going into these Sunday night, Monday night games. And I have the Buffalo and a tease, but we also really need Lamar to do stuff.

And I'm like, I'm just like, my head was spinning. These game team leagues are great. What a cool idea. I don't know why, why we didn't even know about these things until 2020.

Tell everyone what it is. A lot of people don't know what it is. So it's 18 weeks, 18 teams, everybody drafts and you can start, you start nine players,

at least in the one I'm in. It's quarterback, two running backs, two receivers, two flex, and a tight end and that's it. So you can have

two awesome guys in your team can have a shit week and all of a sudden you're going home. And the way they do it is the order is if you're 18th

in week one, you're out. And then everybody gets to draft your players. There's auctions. So now we're in week four and we're getting to the point where when guys get knocked,

like if we get knocked out, which is very possible tomorrow, then we have Lamar, we have Brees Hall, like people will be bidding a lot of their salary cap. It's cool. It's part expertise, but then it's part

dumb luck. We have Brees Hall in this stupid Denver game where Bo Nix wins the game with 60 yards passing, which hasn't happened since 2007. I'm in the same sinking boat as you. With 15 teams left,

it's like you need about 70, 75 points to win, but I'll need like 40 out of golf, but it's still the greatest. Yeah, I need, tomorrow I need Montgomery and JSN on the Seahawks, and if I can get those two to get about four, I basically need three touchdowns between them. It's not looking great.

You got it. So I asked you, and this is a good time to do this. Let's pick the AFC and NFC title game matchups. I think we should do this every four weeks. What we think the matchups are going to be, including location of the game. We didn't, we didn't compare notes and I had a lot of, a lot of trouble doing this, but your AFC title game right now after week four, and we'll pick this up again in week eight. Maybe we'll make a little clip after week 16 of our four choices.

So this is after week four. AFC title game is where? What city? Okay, well, this isn't exactly fair because I feel like I need to see Tennessee play at least one more game. And we're doing this before the money. They're saying Levis had a great week of practice.

Really? Everything was in sync for the first time. I don't want to be a prisoner of the moment. I don't know if this is why you're doing this because we're just coming off the Ravens game. And you're like, I had an idea. They're going to the Superbowl and we're going to bet. And I did this last week and I left my beloved Washington commanders out of the playoffs. And then they won two great games in six days.

I am sticking with my pick bills home for the chiefs bills home for the chiefs. Yes. I think the Ravens are about 10 or 15% better with Derek Henry, but I still think they could do what they do. You know, they'll lose a lead and blow it in January and whatever. September team is different from a January team. We'll get into the Chiefs later, but they always seem to be there. I like thinking that they'll make the

final two in the AFC. Before the game tonight, I had Buffalo at Kansas City. Then I got sent to the moment penitentiary and they put me behind bars and I became a prisoner and now I have Baltimore, Kansas city. Perfect. Because I think Buffalo has lost like real stuff on defense and

we've seen them with a lead, which is one thing, but when they had to be behind and actually get some stops and have to stop a bigger, more physical team. I just, we see this every year and we always forget. And basketball is a little similar to this too, where teams that can look one way in the regular season, the playoffs, it can be a little different. I just like the size of Baltimore a little bit more when we get to January. Now we have the whole Lamar piece of it, which has not been solved in January yet and why he hasn't been able to have success. But just in general, I like the feel of that team more. But we all know KC is going to go 14-3, but and then in round two, they're going to win by two. And in the AFC title game, they'll win by three.

And in the super bowl, they'll come from behind and they'll win by one. And they'll win three playoff games by six points and be our title team, which you just missed. You started and probably Henry rugs coming back, but he's been pardoned to come back and be their number two receiver. Um, I,

uh, that's what I got. Buff, uh, Baltimore, Casey. All right. has been pardoned to come back and be their number two receiver. That's what I got. Baltimore or Casey. All right. I just, listen, we can't do this. I know this is what we do with sports media. We're supposed to make a big deal out of these night games. They're supposed to be more important.

But if Baltimore loses to Cincinnati next week by double digits, then what are you going to do? You got to keep changing. It's process of elimination. It's nobody else in the AFC West. It's nobody in the AFC South, unless Houston can have a personality transplant. And it's not the Jets. So now we've got to

go into the AFC North, and it's either Pittsburgh or it's Baltimore. That's fine. And from what we saw from Pittsburgh today, that was the first time I started to wonder if their defense was a little bit of a rabbit in the 1500 meter race that all of a sudden

starts fading a tiny bit. Because the Colts did a lot of things to them in that game that made me nervous. I think Baltimore KC is the safest bet. What do you have for the NFC? Alright, NFC, I am again, I think sticking with my preseason pick, don't love it as much.

Lions host the San Francisco 49ers. Actually, they're not really hosting them. The game is going to be in Springfield, Ohio, because that city has taken so much shit, and I feel like they're going to pay that. No, Lions home for 49ers. Is it crazy to say Minnesota at Detroit in the NFC title game?

No. I'm still leaning toward the year from hell thing with the Niners, even though they won today. I don't know when we see McCaffrey again. They just keep getting, they had two more injuries in the Pats game today. And I really like how that Minnesota team looks. And I know we're going to talk about

them later, but I'm a believer. I think especially maybe there's one or two moves they can make for the trade deadline, but I'm a believer. They're really well coached. That game was over. It was 28-0. And then that guy muffs a punt and all of a sudden Green Bay gets this 28-7 where it looked like they were going to lose 50-0. But I just thought Minnesota was dominant in that game and they've answered a lot of questions. They have two really good receivers, including the best receiver in the league,

who can just seem to get open over and over again. They can run the ball this year. Jones was really good today. And Darnold was good. And it's not, I guess we're going to talk Minnesota right now, but it's not inconceivable to me that Darnold could get to an NFC title game because we've seen weird shit like that

with quarterbacks that we kind of gave up on and then had these comeback seasons or rejuvenation seasons or juvenation seasons. It's happened. It's happened a bunch of times. It's so weird. I guess I have to shed the bias that this Minnesota team is similar to the Kirk Cousins Minnesota team that won every

game by one score, and we didn't believe in them, even though they had an incredible record, which this Vikings team would be lucky to get to. This team's not that team. This team's going up by 20. They're going up by 20, 25. They don't give you a break. We could talk about that game, but maybe Jordan

Love, first of all, that was a foregone conclusion with the public that, oh, Jordan Love's back. Vikings need to take a step back. Jordan Love wasn't ready for a quarter and a half, which usually should be okay. The Vikings didn't let him in that game. I know the onside kick would have changed it at the end, but they're like, no, we're not going to give you a chance

to catch up here and get your footing back. They just, they kicked the crap out of them right away. It was very similar to the Pittsburgh Kirk Cousins game in week one, where somebody who was going from, it had been a while before they'd been in a game like that to all of a sudden getting thrown into it. Love. I mean, he basically no preseason at all. Then he plays in Brazil on that stupid field and gets hurt. Right. And then he's sitting out and then he comes back and he has to put that Minnesota team. I thought Pittsburgh had the best defense in the league, but it's, it's Minnesota probably by a hair just because of all the turnovers. I mean, what the, one of the things that jumped out today,

almost like in basketball, when a team that has a really good defense is getting a lot of deflections and they're just like, they're just touching the ball and balls are getting tipped out of bounds or they're blocking or they're getting steals. The Minnesota defense, I swear to God,

they must have touched like eight or nine footballs that were just passes. Either they tipped or they almost intercepted or there was a deflection. I don't know if that's a stat, if somebody keeps that, but it was just surreal how many times they touched the football.

Hands all over, like the 49ers usually are with Fred Warner and everything. Smothering. That's like too many basketball references 12 minutes into this. I'm sorry. That's okay. I mean, there was a big trade this weekend. Now I'm starting to mentally drift toward the NBA again. But yeah, Love looked rusty. The Packers couldn't cover.

Alexander was out, so that really hurt them. They also had a bunch of drops. They got it from, it was 28-0. All of a sudden, it was 28-22. And my good friend, Jeff Gowell, lifelong Minnesota fan, is like, I turned it off. I can't watch.

He's just like, oh, his Vikings DNA kicked in. But they had a pretty good drive where they trusted Darnold. And he actually, it wasn't one of those, like, he's just like, oh, his Vikings DNA kicked in. But they had a pretty good drive where they trusted Darnold. And he actually, it wasn't one of those, like, run the ball. Like, he missed the throw five or six times and converted some big plays. They got a field goal. One thing with the Packers that I think, you know, I'm just going to mark, like, they still don't have a field goal kicker. Like, they're going to waive the dude from today.

He missed, what did he miss, two? Yeah. Galveston? It is very, it is more important than ever now. They never seem like they have a kick goal kicker. They're going to waive the dude from today. What did he miss? Two? Galveston? It is more important than ever now. They never seem like they have a kicker. I know. Who was the last good one? During the easiest time ever to kick a field goal. Somehow, they still don't have one. They got to figure that out. I still have a talent

standpoint. I think they're in the top four in the NFC, but there's some nitpick stuff you could definitely do. Do you think Darnold... Okay, so if you have Minnesota, well, does that mean you have them like a top two seed if they're going? Or are they going to pull some upsets if they're going to go to the finals? I have them as the five seed. Oh, really?

The highest wild card in my head. I think they can get to the highest wild card. That means they'll play, you know, the worst division team, which will probably be the NFC East. Sorry. No, you're right. And then, you know, they win that

and then they would have to play whoever in the next one. I guess it would be tough for them. So Detroit, if Detroit was the one seed, they'd probably have to play Detroit in round two if they were the five seed. Right, that's how it would be tough for them. So if Detroit was the one seed, they'd probably have to play Detroit in round two if they were the five seed. Right, that's how it would... Like, if there was no upset. So I'm just trying to see if Darnold is

properly placed at 11-1 for MVP. Because that's the thing everybody's bringing up here. It's like, well, listen, he has to be a top one or two seed to be considered there. But he's fifth on the list behind Lamar, Stroud, Allen, and Mahomes. Wait, Lamar is the top guy on FanDuel right now? No, sorry.

I read it backwards. So Mahomes is the top guy, plus 230. Josh Allen. I mean, we could discuss that too, Mahomes. Yeah, I want to do that. Let's do that, and then we'll take a break. Mahomes, plus 230. This is on FanDuel.

Allen, plus 320. Stroud, plus 950. Lamar 10-1. Sam Darnold 11-1. And then the reason I want to talk about this, Purdy at 16-1 I think is a great bet. And I watched every play of that game today. The

Niners-Pats game. The second game in a row where he's just, he's really good. He's really nifty. He creates time and gets out of shit. He hits deep balls. They had three receivers today that had catches, I think, of like 38 or 40 yards or more. Every game, it's almost like they get a long play per quarter.

And their whole philosophy of just run, run, run, hit you deep. Run, run, run, hit you deep. And he throws the deep ball better than anybody in the league at this point. Plus, he can escape pressure and buy himself time. I think he's really good. A great deep ball. Maybe not like a rocket for an hour. I think people will knock on him.

But I think he's got amongst the top three in field awareness. When he's rolling left, he knows just before he's about to step out and a lot of times can complete it. And I think those are the plays you're talking about. How he comes up, comes up looking, looking pretty there. He is.

He's very good. What was his odds? Yeah. 16 to one. I think those are pretty good odds because you figure in the NFC could San Francisco potentially get to a one seat or a two seed, which is where you have to get for NFL MVP. They obviously could. It's them or

whoever comes out of the NFC North would be the two possibilities for the one seed. I think there's still some year-from-home potential for them with the injuries, though. That's been a problem. I don't want to say all the injuries are behind them

because they still don't have the best player in the league back. And I don't know that, but I do think they could win double-digit games without McCaffrey now, right? I don't think I would have thought that two weeks ago. There's a lot of buzz that he might not be back. It might be December range. So if you have him

on your fantasy team, I would just send the check to whoever your commissioner is. But at the same time, I would just send the check to whoever your commissioner is. But at the same time, like Mason has been running the ball really well for them, right? They have whatever that system is. It doesn't seem to really totally matter who the running back is. They can always get yards. But then the fact that Jennings, who I think all of us have liked for a couple years and I've always wondered why he didn't get more targets. He always seemed to make these big third down catches in big games. Crazy 50-50 balls.

But now they've elevated him and it almost feels like he's become this year more important than Ayuk who they just made. I was going to say the tradeoff is McCaffrey but Ayuk is your third target and you're still winning. They're doing okay. You could argue he might be the fourth target

this year, just by the way the games have gone. Yeah, maybe. Debo and whatever. But regardless, Jennings' ascension, I think, has made the McCaffrey thing a lot more palatable for them. All right, we're going to take a break for the podcast and we're going to stay here on YouTube. And then we're going to talk about the NFC East. Well, that was a rollercoaster week four in the NFL. It's not even over yet, but FanDuel has given you another chance to start the season with a big return and they're doing it on America's number one sports book. You'll get started with $200 in bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first $5 bet on tonight's game.

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I just, this is what I typed under Washington Cardinals. God damn it, is Washington going to win the NFC East? I mean, there's six days. They've completely flipped it, and it feels like that division's wide open, and it might be nine and eight might take it, but 10 and seven I think is definitely going to take it.

They were so good today against Arizona. Arizona comes out. They score on the first drive. I had Arizona in the over as one of my bets. Feeling great. Just rooting for both sides. Washington comes back and scores. I'm like, this is great.

The over is going to be so easy. And then every time Washington got the ball, they scored. I think we saw their punter once. I think we've seen their punter once in two weeks. And it's so easy. The guys are open. Daniels doesn't miss. Did you see?

He's 87 for 106 this season. He has 19 incompletions. Doesn't miss. And when he rolls out, he's faster and quicker than everybody. He looks almost like faster Lamar. There's guys open everywhere. Their chemistry is great. And it looks like in the span of a week,

they've completely reinvented themselves. And he's so in control too. Like he's so not a spaz. There's running quarterbacks who are a little spastic and nervous. He is like, I know what I'm going to do. I know where I'm going to put the ball. Even his, even his interception was like,

oh man, I see what he was doing there. Really could have had that there. But he is so solid converting third down. I have a friend who's a casual Cardinals fan, Arizona Cardinals fan. I said, I texted him, I'm like, that might be the best offense you see all year.

And he's like, go fuck yourself. I was like, no, I'm not talking to you. I'm serious. That might be the best. They punted once in like two and a half weeks. It's crazy. So I don't know what to think of this. That might be the best. They punted once in like two and a half weeks. It's crazy. So I don't know what to think of this. Like they should be favored in some of these games. We're going to go to this,

but they are spectacular. And before the game, when the Eagles were losing and the Cowboys looked like crap, but won on Thursday, I was like, oh man, we might be able to take this division at seven and 10. I'm like, no, here come the Washington commanders

who are going to hit double digits. It looks like. I wanted so badly to pick them to win the division before the year. And I just couldn't get there. We talked about it on the, when we did our over under pods, because their defense just looked like it was going to be a sieve. It looked like they were going to have one of the three worst defenses in the league. That might still be the case, although they're pretty good today. i think when you look at how easy it is for them to get first downs when daniels never misses when he can run around when anytime he wants it feels like he can get seven yards and then they're playing this arizona defense that after today they're 32nd in completion percentage for the other team. 78.6%. I kind of wish I had realized that before I picked this

because there were just guys open everywhere. But there was another piece and we didn't talk about it on the Sunday pregame show today that we did for YouTube TV and FanDuel. The Kingsbury revenge game, I think was a real thing. Did you hear that theorized anywhere? I actually didn't realize that it was a thing, but I think it was. No, I didn't. All I know is my friend Harry from Against All Odds would check his garbage because he lived in the neighborhood and try to find play sheets and stuff. And he still lives there. But other than that, I didn't hear much on it. That is a true story. Well, there was a clip. I mean, the best, the best videos ever are the locker rooms after the NFL, after whatever

win. And you get to see the guy and he's holding the ball up and he does a speech and then to this guy right here. And the whole locker room goes nuts. So Dan Quinn did it today and it must've dropped at like 11 or 12 F-bombs. I was really impressed. He must be like a real swear, but he was giving the ball to Cliff.

And he was like, this guy, we came back, and whatever he did, and the locker room went crazy. So it seemed like they really like him. But I just like the vibes and the chemistry. House and I talked about it Thursday. There's a lot of like, the way teammates are talking about Daniels, you kind of know it when you see the quotes. You're like, oh, this is happening.

The other guys in the team are talking about how special it is. There's something there. I certainly like their team better than your team. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. And not counting the draft, Derrick Henry was the best pickup in the offseason. I think Cliff Kingsbury was second.

You can maybe say Barkley was second. I think Kingsbury right now over Barkley. No question. Finishing last. I'm trying to think. Whoever the Packers. Everyone the Patriots signed. Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, that early slate was great. Let's give it up for the NFL. I mean, there was scoring. I didn't have enough TVs. I had six games going and I couldn't even get Jets-Denver, that catastrophe of an offensive battle. Quarterbacks with more than 40 yards

at halftime throwing. It was terrific. It was really fun. And stuff where, topsy-turvy stuff, where you would take a game off and then it was like, oh shit, I guess I got to get the Vikings back on a TV. Two more Daniels things. One, we talked about it and I think you took it in our futures draft. Daniels for offensive player of the year was six to one and Caleb was plus one 20. And we had a lot of dialogue about how stupid it was. And I don't think I actually bet it in real life.

And we were like, what's the difference between these two guys like what like they seem to have equal chances to succeed their talent is around the same it's not inconceivable either guy could take off and when you watch caleb and caleb had some good throws today some bad ones but he's also what two years younger than than jayden maybe two and a half years but daniel's just seems so much more polished than him. He just seems like the guy in his mid-20s. I'm trying to compare him to Stroud at this point, a month in, right?

So Stroud gave you the confidence you wanted, betting on him and everything, and just looking at him as a quarterback. He may even have a little more confidence, just a little more, I know what I'm doing with this ball kind of thing. Yeah, but he was six to one. I feel like a little bit of a trend

here. Don't go with the guy everyone's screaming about. Go with the second guy for offensive rookie of the year. That's kind of what happened the last couple of years. He's got some good sideline confidence too. When they show him coming at a commercial, there's always a couple teammates

around him. He always seems like he's in the middle of some story. He's got that swagger to him that qb's need i was thinking um who has it better in the nfl right now than jaded daniels because he's playing well his team loves him he's he's obviously good he's proving it but he's doing it for this fan base that is probably the most grateful fan base of all the 32 fan bases to have a good quarterback. Is there any other fan base that would be like,

I can't believe this is happening for us. I have multiple Washington fans in my life, including two that came on the pod last week. And both of them, it's like watching people being afraid to talk during a no-hitter about how well the pitcher's doing. Like they just can't get over it. What other team would have this dynamic? I get,

cause somebody would say like the bears, the bears have never quarterback, but the bears, that's the only one I would say. The bears fans are like, we're never, I mean, it's like, even if they had a quarterback, they'd be like, this is going to go bad. Like they would, they would just assume, ah, Daniel's going to get hurt. But the Washington fans, they've actually had some Super Bowls and some success with, with good quarterbacks and, and a new owner and they can convince themselves that, right.

Like this is a, the ship is about to be righted. So yeah, he is in a very good spot. I hope he doesn't screw it up. I really, uh, that guy could be a legend in Washington,

right? Yeah. This could be like the guy in the Washington area. The next David Chang. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Chang left. He took off.

Yeah, he's in Pasadena. He doesn't care. Jayden Day is going to end up in Pasadena. You'll see. Well, the Eagles got slaughtered today. And that means the NFC East division is looking like this. Philly is even odds. Dallas is plus 220. And that means the NFC East division is looking like this. Philly is even odds.

Dallas is plus 220. And Washington is plus 310. Wow. And that makes no sense to me whatsoever. Why is Philly even odds and Washington's plus 310? How does that make sense? They have the same number of wins, don't they? They both have two losses.

Philly has, Philly's 2-2. Yeah. Yep, they're both 2-2. And one team, the one team got, it looked awesome and killed the Cardinals. Granted, the Cardinals went up a good.

The other team has missing both receivers. Lane Johnson was hurt. Their quarterback has seven turnovers this year. He's had 27 since last season, which leads the league. They gave up 29 first downs today to Baker Mayfield.

This is the second time he's kicked their ass in nine months. They're heading into a bye week and I wouldn't be surprised that they fired their coach tomorrow. So why would they be the favorites in the NFC East? So you would have them both around like 160, plus 160? I would have them both around like 160 plus 160.

I would have all three of them. Yeah. Between minus one 50 minus one 90, something like that. I wouldn't have anybody odds like that. Who's betting Philly right now. Who's like, Hey, I just, I just put five grand on Philly on FanDuel. Nah, nobody. This is all based on who's traditionally there in December, who's left, right? And I think also people need to see the commander's defense a little more. Sure.

Otherwise, it is just going to be back and forth. Well, can I give you their next five games? Because this is where it gets super interesting. Washington or Philly? Washington. I know they have a night game against Philly. Yeah. Next week, they're home for Cleveland.

Austin Gale had a tweet about how Cleveland's first four weeks are the worst four weeks offensively EPA in the history of the franchise since they moved back. Think about how many awful quarterbacks they've had. This is the nadir of Cleveland offense. So they play them in week five. They're at Baltimore in week six. Home Carolina week seven. Home in week five. They're at Baltimore in week six. Home Carolina week seven.

Home Chicago week eight. And they're at the Giants week nine. You could argue that they're going to win four of those next five. They might be favored in four of the next five, right? They'll be favored in everything but that Baltimore game. Well, and that's going to be a fun one, right? I mean, that's regional rights there. Right there.

That's for turf. That's a good one. right? I mean, that's regional rights there, right there. That's for turf. That's a good one. Yeah. I mean, listen, the guy, he's been compared to Peyton Manning, Jaden Daniels, and that offense is being compared to your team with like two points a drive or whatever it ends up being. It's just insanity what we're seeing out of that. On paper, it made sense in the summer, and I couldn't get there,

but they had a bunch of draft picks. Like the is a little like what happened with houston last year where you bring in a quarterback who changes it right away you bring in a new coach yeah who's replacing a terrible coach that happened you have a bunch of draft picks that it's really hard to tell who's going to be good and not good but sometimes a draft class can just be really good and some things that you think aren't going to happen actually end up happening. So they fit a lot of their criteria, but I don't, I see the guys on defense and I don't really totally understand how they're getting stops. Like Arizona got outscored 42 to seven after this, the first touchdown. That doesn't make sense.

And they were throttling them. Like they, they shut down Harrison. They were in my, they, they rushed Murray the right way. He never was comfortable. He was never kind of running around. And they never really got momentum. And listen, Daniels is 26 or 30. He's not going to do much better than that.

But they had 216 on the ground, right? Like Brian Robinson's a stud now. Luke McCaffrey is fun to watch. Yeah. No Eckler, he's out. Terry McLaurin is someone you could start in fantasy now. Luke McCaffrey is going to watch. Yeah. No Eckler. He's out. Terry McLaurin is someone you could start in fantasy now. Right.

Well, Hinch texted this to us. The Mayfield, Darnold, Allen, Lamar class is suddenly historic. The 2018 QB class. All those guys won. Three of those guys won today. Jury's out on Josh Rosen.

So it turns out Josh Rosen maybe kept it from being historic. But that's another weird thing is Baker was flinging the ball all over the place. And now that Godwin looks like Godwin again, it just felt like they had receivers open the whole game. So anyway, the Eagles look like they had receivers open the whole game so anyway the Eagles look like they're in real trouble I like that we're talking about

we're talking up good quarterbacks right? Lamar and Jaden Daniels and Baker who and I know they all

can't be good but I was going to say to you when Baker is on and you kind of know early does anyone really look better than him?

when he's on it's all like 7 and 10 yards yeah he looks like 2014 Brady he's on. It's all like seven and 10 yards. Yeah, he looks like 2014 Brady. He's just like firing it in. Evans or Godwin or whoever. Yeah, right in the perfect place. Now I know all these quarterbacks can't be great

and they're not. So I'm sure we'll get to the rest. I wonder, maybe there's just certain teams that have to be an underdog. Like Arizona was like, whoa, we're laying three and a half. This is a lot of pressure, guys. I don't know. We're not ready for this.

Yeah. But if they're getting eight and a half in Detroit, suddenly the chip's off their shoulder. I hate that I'm going to say this. I think the NFC South might be better than the NFC East. I thought the NFC South was going to be the worst division. They're not bad, man. All three of those teams can at least hang.

New Orleans' offense looked way better today. Tampa's offense has looked good in three of the four games. They can move the ball. Carolina obviously isn't good, but it's not the dumpster fire that I thought it was going to be. So I might admit defeat on that call. Can I just say that I look at that, I'm so glad I don't have a bet

on one of those teams to win it. And right now it would be Tampa, but I can't get close to that. They have a Thursday night game coming up. But with that New Orleans-Atlanta game, first of all, wasn't it inevitable that New Orleans was going to lose by two, getting two and a half?

We could have told everyone that. Why didn't we tell everyone that? Well, it was one and a half all week, and then it went to two and a half, which was classic. It was going to definitely fall on the margin there. But then if you're trying to pick a winner after an hour, you're like, all right, Atlanta has points because their special teams got lucky.

And New Orleans has points because Taysom Hill is able to score by the goal line. And he's nowhere to be found now. So he's hurt. So good luck

trying to figure those teams out. Yeah. Yeah. Atlanta wins the game. They get touchdowns from their defense interception return.

They get a muff punt touchdown. Terrible punt returns today. Terrible decisions. And they get a 58-yard field goal to win it. Their offense scored one touchdown. Right. I don't know what to tell you.

The Saints, when they have Taysom Hill, they look like the most unstoppable offense in the league. It's like the 2024 tush push. They didn't have them last week. They couldn't score. They didn't have them for the last three quarters today. They couldn't do anything. They're lost by the five-yard line.

They are. Carr's better from the 22 or something. Not great, but better. They did go down the field and get the go-ahead touchdown with two minutes left. I forget. There was so much going on today. They did get the go-ahead, and then

Atlanta was able to put together enough. I don't know what's going on with Atlanta's offense. I don't think Pitts had a catch today. I think he got a zero. And Bijan, who actually... Three targets, yeah. Bijan broke one long play and it got called back, but it's the same thing. He hasn't been that good either.

Bijan, Brees, Hall, you got to draft them three and four. You're crazy if you don't draft them third and fourth or second. 55, 56 bucks. Yeah, got to draft them three and four you're crazy if you don't draft them third and fourth or second 56 bucks yeah got to do it well we had in that guillotine league I mentioned

we had the first pick and it was either take McCaffrey and hope he's not really that hurt well obviously that would have been awful

take Brees Hall who's who we took he's been bad or take Bijan that wouldn't have worked out either who we were supposed to take

what was the right move should we take Justice Hill? Jefferson's quarterback is Sam Donald. Can't do that. Or if you're going to go receiver, you'd be like,

well, we'll take Tyreek. Tyreek lost his quarterback in a game and a half. Right. Yeah, fantasy sucks. No matter what you call it. Fantasy's the worst. Whatever you want to do.

I actually, in our knockout league, I'm going to go 0-4. This is... Really? There's not a lot of room for me to get better either. This might be a lost season. Can you pick up Flacco?

That's with the two quarterbacks. That's the Larchmont League? No, this is the knockout. Oh, our knockout league. Oh, yeah, yeah. I got you. I have Dak Prescott. I have Kenneth Walker, who got hurt after week one.

I have Etienne, who got hurt after week one. I have ETN, who... He's back. ETN was just not wearing shoulder pads during the first half of the game today, or whatever the fuck was going on. He's a tough guy. I have Shahid, who you kind of have to start every week, but he just might go three for 20,

and then the week you don't start him, he has an 80-yard touchdown. DJ Moore, who's trapped in that weird Bears offense. Garrett Wilson. One of the most disappointing guys in the league. Gotta pick him fifth. Have to. Brock Bowers, 19 receiving yards today. Boswell on the Steelers' day.

Caleb Williams on the bench. I have Jerome Ford and Nick Chubb. I have Cooper Cupp, who lasted a week. I have Juwan Jennings, who was on my bench. I'm 0-4. I don't think I've ever been 0-4. You're done. Run the table. Go winless and see if you can get kicked out. I actually have

for you the fantasy football panic all pros after week four. Running backs. Brees, Bijan, and Etienne, I think,

are the three. You might want to put A-Chan, but we'll see tomorrow. He might actually be good. Garrett Wilson has been, I think, the single most disappointing receiver, right?

He was going for 40-plus bucks in these auctions. Yeah, well, I guess Tyreek went closer. I mean, what do you do with Tyreek? Tyreek at least had one good game. I know it's not his fault.

Yeah. Okay. Laporta and Pitts co-winners for tight end. Yep. Although, I mean, Mark Andrews is just hilarious at this point. That's another good one. Mahomes?

Yeah. Mahomes was being treated like he was not only QB1 but the guy you know in one of our auctions somebody spent like

27 bucks on him yeah he's not he has not been an elite fantasy quarterback in quite some time now and

definitely not this year and I mean wait let me know when you're ready to talk about that game and well we could just talk about, is it worth it? Should he be plus 230

for MVP? Because I guess if he brings this team that's just constantly injured to any sort of championship game or playoffs, I guess that in itself should he should be eligible for top three or so. But plus 230? Come on.

Let's hold Chiefs Chargers until after the break. I have one Cowboys question. I have one Cowboys question for you. So Lawrence is out for how long? So six to eight weeks. How long is Parsons out? That's more of a weekly thing. Probably one to three.

And I know the schedule's not good coming up. Steelers, Lions, 49ers. So you have week five at Pittsburgh, week six Detroit, bye week at San Francisco, at Atlanta. I bolded this as the single hardest part of your schedule, basically. And this is when those two guys got hurt? I'm looking way ahead. And this is when those two guys got hurt? I'm looking way ahead. And this is the best I could do.

And I know you counted your... Taking drugs? Taking drugs for sure. But I think we got to be like 5-5 after 10. I think I have to look at it like that and not like, oh boy, 2-5 is not going to be... No way they're coming back.

Because there's a chance Washington can fall off. And I don't love what I'm seeing out of Philadelphia. And none of these teams have played each other yet. That's the best I could do, Simmons. I don't know. We're not very good. We could have lost that giant game. Anybody else?

Daniel Jones. It was really bad. You really could have lost the Giants game. It was a weird Thursday nighter, but all right. Time for a new segment. It's called Who's Delivering? It's presented by Uber Eats, where we break down the NFL players

who have delivered so far this season from household names to out of nowhere surprises. So we talked about Jaden Daniels already, who's been the shiny new toy star of the 2024 season. We talked about Juwan Jennings, who's been the out of nowhere. I picked him up week one or week two in my fab auction, and now he's starting for me. Who else would you have as the people who have delivered? Derrick Henry's got to be up there, right? Henry, for sure. For sure. Can I pick a name that you wouldn't take in the first two rounds of fantasy,

but is delivered? Bucky Irving for Tampa Bay. You talk about you add him to your roster, he might be the best Oregon duck that was drafted this year. Bo Nix came back and won and everything, but I think he's fun. He had a touchdown call back like a man. They gave it to him. I don't have his stats handy because I wasn't ready.

And it's, it's ironic that this Uber Eats, I think there's one thing I spend more money on than gambling. It's Uber Eats. So congratulations to me and Bucky Irving. Bucky Irving's one of those names that easily could have been a PGA golfer, right? Yeah. Bucky Irving's up two strokes. It's day four of the PGA. He could have been a NASCAR

driver. I feel like what position in baseball would he have been? Bucky Irving, shortstop, maybe? I'm thinking Bucky Dent. Like a reliever? That's stuck in my head. Like a catcher? Bucky Irving would be a catcher.

Could he have been a boxer, Bucky Irving? Yeah, lighter weight. Lighter weight boxer. Yeah. And an old announcer, I think he could have been. It's like, oh man,

Bucky Irving's doing the game today. I can't believe it. Could have been. I can't believe he's still doing football. An Uber Eats delivery driver, I could say. He could have been. That was who's delivering

presented by Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything for game day only on Uber Eats, the official on-demand delivery partner of the NFL. Order now. We're going to take a quick break and then come back. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember.

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Okay, you wanted to talk chiefs. I have chiefs. Chiefs beat the Chargers 17-10. They upheld their part of the tease with the bills that we all did. And then the bills said, you're stupid. You shouldn't do teases. And they stuck it to us. The big story. Rasheed Rice looks like he's out for the year. That's the buzz. We're taping this Sunday night. If he got, it turned out it's an MCL, but they seem to think it was a torn ACL. It was pretty grim.

So they've lost Hollywood Brown, seems like for the year. They've lost Rasheed Rice definitely for the year. Right as he was emerging as really not the best receiver Mahomes has had, but definitely the best receiver on this team. They also are missing Pacheco for half the season. So this game today, they end up beating the Chargers.

They come back from 10-0. They're down to, they have rookie receiver Worthy. They have zombie Kelsey and three wave guys that are out there. Smith-Schuster, the Pats wave. Kareem Hunt was just on the bargain basement for weeks. And then,

who's the other one? There was one, the other receiver. Now I get confused with who they cut and who they're... I'm blanking. Anyway,

there were three. There was another guy they picked up. Watson, Justin Watson no right Sky Moore

they didn't even throw to him I don't know maybe there's two Kareem Hunt oh P. Ryan oh yeah well he's a running back right yeah

yeah but those were those were their running backs two guys that were on the waiver wire so somehow it didn't matter so they're 4-0 and they've scored less points every single week

27 the first week 26 22 17 I wonder if that's the first time No, it didn't matter. So they're 4-0, and they've scored less points every single week. 27 the first week, 26, 22, 17. I wonder if that's the first time that's ever happened. It's insanity. It's an astounding 4-0. They have 10 wins by 61 points. They've won 10 straight by 61. That is very, very hard to do.

Because one of those wins, you're laughing. One of those wins has to be by 20, just by accident. You know, the team gets sloppy. It's not the case. So they haven't lost since that dumb Raiders game? That was it. Yeah. And 10, including playoffs. Was that Christmas Eve?

We lost by a minute on that. Yeah, one of the days. And they're 12-0 when they're down by exactly 10 points. Like, I don't know if he's bored, Mahomes. Maybe he's bored with winning. It's like when a power lifter squats with a woman on his shoulders and the weight. Like when Andre was wrestling three guys. Yeah, like a handicapped match.

Just give me three guys. I'll beat all of them. Just banging their heads together for five minutes. Just give me three guys off the waiver wire. Kelsey, don't break a sweat. And just give me that rookie. It has no replace yet. Let's see if we can beat the Chargers.

Yeah, Joey Chestnut's adding relish to the hot dogs because everything's just too easy. But it got me thinking, and I asked you, I think you have answers for this. Is anyone in the history of sports better at winning close games than the Chiefs have been for the last few years?

And so I'm going to knock on your Patriots because I don't think they fit this description. They had a bunch of blowouts in there. I know their first few Super Bowls were close, but this is a long time where the Chiefs and a lot of people point to the refs to help them out, and maybe they do sometimes. But this team knows how to win ugly, and they do it all the freaking time. I don't even know if there's a comp for this in any sport. That started this week with that Derwin James suspension. People are like,

oh, of course he got suspended. He's playing the Chiefs. Got to get him out of there. Got to help out the Chiefs. Well, you said the history. So you're framing it. It's a little get-uppy, but I like it.

It's a little Mike Greenberg historical hyperbole. Oh, sorry. Mike texted me. Mike texted me. He's like, run this by Simmons. So you busted me. Historical hyperbole oh sorry Mike texted me Mike texted me he's like run this by Simmons so you busted me yeah this is

historical hyperbole with Mike Greenberg here on Get Up I'm here with Ryan Clark no but when I think of like you're basically the teams that just pull wins out of that

awful announcing Simmons takes shot at Mike Greenberg here we go Simmons rips Simmons rips Mike Greenberg devours

tears into cannibalizes obviously hated for years yeah do they do those Greenberg. Here we go. Simmons rips. Simmons rips Mike Greenberg. Devours. Tears into. Cannibalizes. Obviously hated for years. Yeah. Do those blogs have like nine verbs that they use for that? That's it. Annihilates. But the historical thing, I was thinking.

You're going to have a basketball team from 1981 or something. No, no, no. That 96 to like 01 Yankees team was like that for me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, fuck. It's 3-3 they're going to win. It's like 3-3 in the eighth inning. God damn, we're going to lose. So that's like... That's good. I think the Pats got

there in the 0-3-0-4 run when they won the 26 straight. They won... If you go back, they won all those games were close somehow. They had no blowouts, even in the playoffs. No, really? Your division games? There was a lot of like...

Really, the Jets and stuff? Yeah. No, there was like... No, I'm talking 0-3-0-4. Like some of the Colts games. They had that goal line stand against the Colts. That was a great win. The Eagles, the second Eagles, the Super Bowl, the Panthers Super Bowl.

All those games were close. They just figured out how to win at the end. So I had them. I was trying to think. Don't you think Tiger was like that too, though? That was the other one I thought of. I was thinking Scheffler and Tiger, but he would run away with some of these tournaments too.

I mean, he was a winner for sure. I was thinking maybe there's a boxer. I started looking up most split decision winners he had a lot of split decisions he used to always sneak those out Manny had a bunch Pacquiao, Jermaine Taylor had a few split decisions, Sugar Ray

and then I stopped looking I was like I'm not going to have an Uber Eats I can't do this yeah Yankees the Brady Brady hit that point probably somewhere in the I can't do this. Yankees. Brady hit that point probably somewhere in the early 2010s. No basketball, huh? I'm giving you a layup.

No pun intended. Jordan was like this for the entire 90s. Close series? Every series was 4-2. If it was a close game, you just felt like he was going to pull it out. You go back and you look at the Utah games in

97 and 98. All those games were close. The 91 finals. I felt like anytime it was close, he was just going to get it done. But the weird thing about Mahomes is they're less impressive than some of these other ones. Because I lead these Chiefs games. I'm like, howomes is, they're less impressive than some of these other ones.

Because I lead these Chiefs games. I'm like, oh my, how the fuck did they, how did they do that? Like, they beat Baltimore because Isaiah Lakely's foot was on the line by two inches, right? Yeah. That's not just them, how they pull it out. But that's kind of where the Yankees were for a while. We're like, oh my God. That line drive right to the third baseman,

he scorched it. How does that always work out for them? There's a little voodoo involved. Did I say he has three first quarter picks in a row and there's still four? No. That's hard to pull off. The one today was bad.

Yeah. Didn't you think? Yeah. He's doing it on purpose. He's challenging himself. Well, one thing we we gotta give him credit for is their defenses has shown the ability

over and over again to get stops in the second half of these games which they did today now they're doing it against the Chargers that in the last

two and a half games the Chargers scored 26 points and they were missing both of their tackles they came out hot they ran all their gimmicks and all their stuff they needed to do

but then once the game settled down they couldn't really move the ball. And Herbert, who's been hit as hard as anybody in the league this season, it feels like, especially the last two games. And, you know, he kept standing in there. The Chiefs feel gettable this year, though.

This would be the most... If they win this one, this would be... Because they're at the point that they usually are in December, January when we're ready to talk ourselves out of them. I'm there now with them. I have no idea how they're 4-0. And what are they going to do with receivers? I know.

But then, but like, so what is my answer? So what if they go 10 and 7? They showed they could do it on the road last year. So now we have nowhere to turn at all with this team. Well, they benched. They had that Carson Steele last in a series. He fumbled two straight games, so we'll never see him again. They're relying on Kareem Hunt, who

really hasn't had a notable football moment in a couple years. And P. Ryan. And that's, I guess, going to be their running game until Pacheco comes back. They're going to need to lean on Kelsey in the first part of the season, which I don't think they want to do because he's old. And then I don't know where they get their explosive plays from

except for Worthy. So maybe they do a deal? Do they try to trade? Okay. So their defense isn't as good as the Steelers, but it's 80%, right? 85%. If you see what they're holding, and their quarterback is much better than the Steelers, but it's 80%, right? 85%. If you see what they're holding,

and their quarterback is much better than the Steelers. I don't even care what kind of weapons he has. So, I don't know. January is a different story, but don't count this team out of the playoff. No way. I don't care what kind of injuries they have. Well, we both have them in the

AFC title game. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Can I change that talk me out of it one thing that's gonna help them is their division sure yeah Chargers Raiders Denver

you're going against Minshew and O'Connell you're going against Bo Nix who had 60 yards passing today and you're going against this Chargers team

you already beat them once so you just need to beat them one more time so they might go 6-0 in their division, and then they would have to go, what, 6-4 against everybody else, and they've already had a couple wins. You mentioned Falcons-Saints.

So I guess we talked about them. We talked about Vikings-Packers. We did not talk about Broncos-Jets. I did not have that on TV. Did you watch that game? I sacrificed that. There are too many good games. I have a separate TV that can only show the national game.

For some reason, that was the national game. I don't know why. Yeah, it was rain and quarterback was shaky. Very beatable quarterback with negative passing yards. Well, into the third quarter, Robert Sala said, I could do this. I could

do this. I could blow it. I mean, we're making fun of like Cortland Sutton at seven more yards than Bo Nix, like in the third quarter. How the fuck did the Jets lose this game? The Rogers game was, I, I, I put it on for the, I watched the last quarter and a half because switch TVs around. They had third and five. All they needed was a first down to get closer and they were going to kick a field goal and win the game. But they couldn't complete the third and five.

And it was over and over again. It seemed like they could either pressure Rodgers or his throws were a little off or he made the decision even before the ball was snapped, I'm taking two steps, I'm throwing it down the sideline and so and so. But I didn't think he was moving that well. And then he admitted after the game that his legs weren't good.

It's not. When you think about like some of the guys we watched today and how Rodgers used to move like Purdy, right? And he used to move like Jaden Daniels. He never moved like that. But he would always be able to buy time like some of these great guys. And he doesn't seem like he can do that anymore. So I don't know if he's hurt or old.

Aaron Rodgers, hurt or old, that's next. Ooh, that's good. That's good. Awful announcing. He's going to promote that. I think maybe, yeah. And we see him running around the rain for years, right? Yeah.

And love it. He would have loved the game like the game today. He would have had four touchdowns. He just looked like a broken down man waiting for a train today. I don't think a lot of it was his fault because he got pounded, too. That defense showed up for Denver. But also, you can't beat the fact that I text you every Sunday morning. I said, the Suckertees, Ewen House and Hench, it's Jets Chiefs.

And so that's such a strong force to overcome that no one is able to do it. And I don't even have to ask a lot of people who have to ask like three people what the sucker tease is. I don't need like Fandle does thousands of people betting money is here. No, only three people tell me what the sucker tease is. Cousin Sal annihilates the sucker tease. The Jets had five sacks,

10 penalties, and they were four for 17 on third down. Yeah. Nine points total. We have not seen their offense look good for even two straight quarters, and now we're heading into October. And as a Brees Hall

fantasy owner, it's not only that it's going badly, but it seems like the backup has kind of taken his job a little bit and is running the ball better than he is. This 20-year-old, they put him in. It seems like they actually put him in when they want to win the game.

And that's more concerning than ever. I was wondering, like, if this was basketball, we'd be like, is Brees Hall available? Could you see Brees Hall get traded? But we don't have football trades. You know, I think be like, is Brees Hall available? Could you see Brees Hall get traded? But we don't have football trades. You know, I think like the worst thing about this is it's another team we can't really bet on, right? If you can't beat the Broncos at home when their quarterback has negative yards well

into the third quarter, who the hell is an easy pick for them? I thought everyone got a little crazy with the win over the Patriots. It's like, all right, that was one of the worst teams on a three-day rest. They didn't look that great, the Jets, against Tennessee. Let's wait a second. We didn't have to wait much longer than a second. It was 10 days later. So they scored 19 against San

Francisco. They scored 24 against Tennessee, and I think they got some sort of defensive touchdown that came, right? Yeah. They scored 24 against the Pats, and they scored 9 against Tennessee. And I think they got some sort of defensive touchdown that came, right? They scored 24 against the Pats and they scored nine against Denver. I, with Brees Hall and with Garrett Wilson, I was expecting a more explosive jets team.

Yeah. And I don't really fully understand it. Those guys were almost probably more fun to watch last year when they had the worst quarterbacks of all time. This is amazing. Imagine these guys if they had a good quarterback. And now we're seeing them with a guy who used

to be a good quarterback, and it's not going that great. Are you annihilating Aaron Rodgers right now? I feel like you're annihilating him. Or are you pulverizing him? What are you doing? What are some of the other words? You're fornicating? What are you doing to Aaron Rodgers?

I fornicated Aaron Rodgers. Oh, Texans, Jaguars. We got to talk about the Jaguars again. Although maybe should I just have them edit in last week's Jaguars conversation? Yeah, no shit. So the Texans win 24-20. Classic Jags. They're up 20-17 in the third quarter, and it actually looks like they're going to win. Texans just look a little discombobulated. The Jags, they've missed two long touchdowns because Lawrence missed Kirk, he missed Brian Thomas, and they're still winning. And Lawrence, just every game, he's just going to miss somebody for a 50-yard touchdown. First and goal from the four. They get stopped on downs. They try to run the QB draw on fourth

down with Lawrence. I got to say, it works 97% of the time at all levels of professional football. They try it with Lawrence, and two guys are right there. One guy does the Roman Reigns spear and just kills him. So they lose the bond downs in the fourth quarter. Punt. Punt. And then Houston has a 69-yard drive in the last three minutes to win the game. And Jacksonville

loses again. They're 0-4. And honestly, I watched all four of the games and they could have won three. Yeah. I know. This was my upset special. It was my upset special last week against Buffalo, Yeah. I know. This was my upset special. It was my upset special last week against Buffalo too.

I think they did. They scored, right? They went ahead for a second 27-17. And then they had the ball first to go

from the four. Up three. Son of a bitch. I just, I don't know what to think anymore. I guess this is Houston's division

for sure. These South divisions, I'm so glad I'm not locked into a team. It's like watching a slap fight. I don't want any part of this crap. I really don't. I'm just glad one of these guys isn't me with the powder flying everywhere. Doug Peterson,

do you give him one more game? Because now you're closing in on 10 straight losses. The Colts would be 10 losses if they did this. If you're Doug Peterson, do you get your passport renewed for London or don't even bother? Yeah. So when is, when are the London games? Well, there's one this week.

There's one this week. But don't they have two in a row? Yeah, they have. Yeah, they have like four next six or something. Home for Indianapolis, then Chicago and the Pats in London. Yeah. Week six, in London. Yeah. Week six, week seven. Right. So does he get on the plane?

Not if he loses to the Colts. I'm calling it out, Bill. He loses to the Colts. He just stays home. Cousin Sal eviscerates Doug Peterson. Cousin Sal gnaws on Doug Peterson's passport. Doug Peterson destroyed by Cousin Sal eviscerates Doug Peterson. Cousin Sal gnaws on Doug Peterson's passport. Doug Peterson destroyed by Cousin Sal.

Next. Stroud threw for 345 yards, so I'm feeling like I'm back in on my passing titles bet. I didn't realize it was that big, yeah. With that said, something is off with the Texans, and I don't really know what it is. It's like they can't just put together

an hour of good offensive football. They can do little spurts. There's flashes. It just looks a little discombobulated. Sometimes it looks like they can't block. I know they've had some injuries on their offensive line. Didn't you go over?

I think you dissected last year every team and how many were good wins and how many were close wins. They kind of won ugly last year. He looked great, Stroud. Easy schedule. Yeah, but this is kind of how they did it. And then they came alive in the playoffs a little too. Well, the Jags for the season, they've had 44 third downs.

Do you want to guess how many they've gotten? 44. Oh, 44 chances to convert a third down. Negatives four. No, I'll say 16. 11. Is it 11? Yeah.

11 for 44 on third down. Today in our keeper league where we start two quarterbacks, I started Andy Dalton over Trevor Lawrence. That's how far I had sunk. Before the year, I bet on him to have 4,000 passing yards. Today, I started Andy Dalton over him, and it was the right move. He had more fantasy points than that. Didn't he used to take off more?

Didn't he used to run more? He had like three runs in one of them. I don't even think any were designed. He had three runs points than them. Didn't he used to take off more? Didn't he used to run more? He had like three runs in one of them. I don't even think any were designed. He had three runs for five yards. One thing I noticed with him, his passes like sail. Yeah. Everybody, they're either just flying over somebody's head or somebody's jumping up to catch them.

They're never like here or never here. They're always like above. But and I also thought like it seems like he should be a better athlete than he is. He's like a little closer to Drew Bledsoe

than maybe it seems like he should be because he seems athletic but I'm not I'm not positive he is. And also what's with the hair? Get that shit cut. Maybe

maybe that should be what he does. It's just crew cut it to show that he's that he's that he's worked for Joe Burrow until he won after a month

only 0-14 to make the playoffs there's only been one ever oh really yeah the New York Giants no but it does seem like something that Eli Manning

would have been the only person to do right like today Bo Nix had that 60 yards and a win it was like seem like something that Eli Manning would have been the only person to do. Right. Like today, Bo Nix had that 60 yards and a win. It was like the last person to have that low yards was Eli Manning in 2007. He won a game throwing 59 yards. I'm like, of course, whatever the worst thing a quarterback can do and somehow get a win.

Eli probably has it. Bill Simmons eviscerates Eli Manning. It's more eviscerating. My God. We're just eviscerating everybody. So it was the 1992 San Diego Chargers. Coached by Bobby Ross. They started

at own four. They finished 11-5. Marion Butts was their best running back. The great Stan Humphreys, the quarterback. Let's see who they had for... Anthony Miller. Did you have him in fantasy that year? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Number 11? Yeah, number 81, yeah. And a young Sean Jefferson. Wait, hold on. Now this is driving me crazy, but what was the nickname for Marion? What was Boomer's nickname for Marion Butts? What the hell was it?

Marion smoked too many butts. Someone's on YouTube. Marion, I like big butts. What was it? I don big butts. What was it? I don't know. Oh, I got to look. I know he would do a lot of sound effects. I will say for the younger people listening,

the old days were really fun betting against bad quarterbacks. Where you'd be like, oh man, I can't wait to bet against Dan Humphries. And you just knew he would suck. Now it's like, I never know what quarterbacks. We don't have reliable sucky quarterbacks where you'd be like, oh man, I can't wait to bet against Dan Humphries and you just knew he would suck. Now it's like, I never know what quarterbacks, we don't have reliable

sucky quarterbacks anymore. Maybe we have Will Levis. You know what, I apologize for the distraction there. I was confusing him with Natron Means because Natron Means

business. Oh, that was a good one. Yeah. I love that one. That mixed them up. The best one ever was Eric sleeping with BNME. Oh, that was good. one. Yeah. I love that one. The best one ever was Eric sleeping with B enemy. Eric sleeping with B enemy. Yeah.

Okay. Colt Steelers is the last one we get to talk about. This was an everything goes wrong for Pittsburgh game. And they almost won. And you knew right away. It's like, oh, it's going to be one of these games. Richardson just chucks it up. 40 yard pass to start the game.

It's like, oh, here we go. And then the Pittsburgh turns over our downs. You loved it. You weren't scared by the two and a half. I said this was the rattiest of rats. I think the Steelers line is almost always a rat line. I wanted the Pittsburgh D against Richardson, and he lasted

half a quarter. And then all of a sudden Joe Flacco was in. I didn't want to bet against Joe Flacco. Joe Flacco's terrifying. I didn't want to bet against Joe Flacco. Joe Flacco's terrifying. He's so good. They had, they were eight for 15 on third down and in the,

down the stretch when they're trying to get stops, Flacco hit two third of tens. But the reality is Fitzpatrick, worst call of the day.

He's running over to break up a pass. It's over the guy's head and he's running full speed. Can't really stop. Holds up, hits the guy. They call it late hit anyway. Keeps the drive going. They got to stop with that.

And then Fields, somehow the Steelers get it. They're down three. They have the ball three minutes left. They're on like the 40. We're like, holy shit. They're going to fucking tie this and win in overtime. The Steelers are going to be 4-0, baby. Let's go. And then Fields, I i forgot he hadn't had it yet his weekly i had no idea the

shotgun snap was coming and he's looking over and the ball hits him in the side of the head which he tries to do once a game and i actually like fields and enjoy enjoy watching him and enjoy rooting for him but for some reason that happens once a game. And of course, it happened there. And now it's second 22 and they end up... That was it. And then the fumble. I mean, it was an inexplicable fumble, right? He was like down

and then somehow got back to all fours and fumbled. And then the guy ended up... That's the only way he was going to get around. It was a dumb... I don't think that Colts team's good. One thing I will say with them, though, is Downs came back

and made a couple of big plays for them. Their slot receiver, who they missed for the first couple weeks. But I thought, and Pittman got going, and it seems like their receivers fell into place. Yeah, I just, when I was looking at all the, we do the pregame show and everything, and I think like House or somebody said,

had like Richardson over 14 and a half completions. I'm like, 14 and a half completions? What is the Steelers? This should be so easy. Why is this two and a half completions. I'm like, 14 and a half completions? What is the Steelers? This should be so easy. Why is this two and a half? And sure enough, we figured out why it was two and a half. Just so weird. I guess just some weeks

the defense isn't going to travel. I hope next week's one of them. Bears beat the Rams 24-18. Not a lot to say about that game. 49ers beat the Pats. Bengals beat the Rams 24-18. Not a lot to say about that game. 49ers beat the Pats. Bengals beat the Panthers since his first win. Whatever. Raiders beat the Browns.

Two teams that will not be playing in Week 19. Cleveland is down. Cleveland's 11 for 53 on third down. Jesus. Those are Jaguar numbers. It's like impossible. Yeah. And he wasn't even awful like historically awful i'm like oh he's 21 for 25 at one point i looked watson was 21 for 25 and like 134 yards i'm like for i remember 40 yards 21 for 25 used to put you like to 240 i

just have to get used to seeing it at 135 but all all week, me, you, and House were like, we got to take the Raiders. And like, all right, I'll see your Max Crosby, Devontae Adams injury and raise you the entire Browns offensive line sitting out. So this was a stay away of all stay aways. I want million dollar picks. I really kind of wanted to take the Raiders. House talked me out of it. And I wanted to take the Bears. House talked me out of that. And I like the Broncos. And we both talked ourselves out of that. But next week, I'm picking five games and that's it. We're going to do Guess the Lines. We're going to take a break. And then I have one other important question before we do Guess the Lines. But let's take a break for the podcast. At Pennzoil, we have one job.

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and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. All right, off that Niners-Pats game. So I watched the Pats game with Nephew Kyle. And we're just so ready for Drake May. And I know it's wrong. And I know putting a young quarterback behind a line that isn't that great probably isn't a good idea.

But Brissette's so bad. And he seems like a great guy. Supposedly he's going to be a coach someday, but he can't move. He can't throw the ball deep. And I actually think the game was pretty winnable today. If they'd had a quarterback,

like if they'd had Flacco, I actually think that game would have come down in like the final two minutes. If they'd had a quarterback who was young and could move around, there was ways to do that. But Brissette's so freaking slow,

he can't. And we're watching it going, man, is it worth it just throwing Drake out for the second half because maybe he can create some stuff with his legs and it's this big divisive thing with Patriots fans now because other Pats fans are like,

and I was like this four or five weeks ago. I was like, it's not worth it. You don't want to have a Zach Wilson situation. You don't want to put unnecessary miles on him, but I'm watching these games thinking like, it's probably better for him to be out there and make like Caleb is under duress the whole time too. And I feel like he's getting better every week.

I think he should play next week against Miami. I want to see him play next week against Miami is my point. Well, this is what you said, right? Didn't we say can't throw him at San Francisco, especially after the 49ers lost?

You weren't going to do that. The Miami, the home game for Miami was always what you kind of thought, right? Well, here's what's changed. The Pats are awful. Oh. They're the worst team in the league.

More eviscerating. So sad. They're the worst team in the league. Who's worse than the Patriots? Worst team. Yeah, who's worse? Who's worse? Oh, man.

I mean, you said he can't move and he can't throw downfield. Like, that puts him in the top 20 right away. We have 46 points. 46 points in four games. And that includes Sly hitting a 63-yard field goal today. Because apparently everybody can do that now. Tom Dempsey did it when we were kids. Right.

And that became... Yeah, like an anvil in a shoe. There were NFL films things about it. And I felt like I knew Tom Dempsey. Right.

And now it happens every two weeks. But we have 46 points of four games and we've scored four touchdowns. And our defense isn't very good either.

Tennessee's very bad. Cleveland's very bad. I think we're worse than Cleveland. Really? All those teams, huh? Carolina could still end up with three wins. Kyle took his jersey off today. He didn't even want to wear it.

In the second quarter, he just whipped it off. Kyle, did you have anything underneath at least? No, he had a shirt underneath. I was relieved. When I saw it coming off, I was like, oh my God, it's going to be like when I go to a Raiders game. You guys are just shirtless. But he had a t-shirt underneath. I was relieved. When I saw it coming off, I was like, oh my God, it's going to be like when I go to a Raiders game, you guys are just shirtless. But he had a t-shirt underneath.

No, they're terrible. They're terrible. And a lot of it has to do with some of the draft classes Belichick had. And a lot of it has to do with the fact that they didn't spend money in the free agency and try to get a couple blue chippers, pink chippers, red chippers, any chippers. So is that the outlier game? You said it was Baltimore, Las Vegas. Is it Cincinnati, New England? I would say yes, except doesn't Cincinnati lose in week one every year? So can it be an outlier if they're just destined to lose every year in week one? That's a good point.

That's a good point. I'm just trying to think of how many wins each team ends up with. Is there a greater discrepancy than the other game Raiders Rape Kyle can you come on can Kyle come on the YouTube live

Kyle get in there Kyle if he puts his shirt on yeah okay yeah yes Kyle you want to see Drake May right yeah

fuck it I mean sorry this is live yeah yes take that out we've sworn before in the live

yeah Kyle's ready Kyle wants hope he just wants Sorry, this is live. Yeah. Yes. Take that out. We've sworn before in the live. Yeah. Kyle's ready. Kyle wants hope. He just wants the four or five Drake May plays where he created something with his legs. He threw it downfield. Brissette can't throw it downfield. It's like surprising when he throws it downfield.

He's just not a starting quarterback. Again, seems like a sweetheart of a guy, but I don't think he's a starting quarterback. I'm with you. It's just so funny because there are a lot of quarterbacks that just don't throw downfield. There's just so many. I'm almost not phased by it anymore.

Guess the lines week five. I'm up 2-1 with a tie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have some buys this week. Yeah, the first, who is it? Detroit, Chargers, Philly, Tennessee? Chargers needed the buy. Tennessee might need the buy

after, I guess, we'll find out tomorrow. And then the Eagles might be using the buy to get rid of their coach. Oh. How funny would it be? Why doesn't FanDuel put that up?

Why don't they put the odds up? Like, is it too negative? Yeah, well, who cares? FanDuel's a positive company. They stand for positivity. But you could bet how many interceptions a quarterback has.

What's the difference? You could bet who's going to come in last place in the beginning of the year. I was thinking how funny it would be if Belichick just was the Eagles coach in like two days

and all of his media jobs that he had. It was just like, all right, he had to leave this one and this one's out and this one's also gone. No, he still does them. He does everything. He just, he had to leave this one, and this one's out, and this one's also gone.

No, he still does them. He does everything. He keeps the jobs and coaches. Or they hire like Daryl Hammond to play Belichick. Yeah. That's a pretty good Belichick. Well, you know, C.J. Stroud is just fantastic at looking downfield. There's nobody better.

Thursday night. We're going back to Atlanta. I love that they wore the Dirty Bird jerseys today. Those are so cool. Those black. I saw they were wearing those and I actually ended up throwing them in a tease because I got excited. Because of that? Wow. Yeah.

I was like, I can't see them losing with those. All right. It worked. Falcons home for the Bucs. This is good for my NFC South bet. Only one team can win. It's going to be a tie. A tie would be the best.

If I get a tie, it's going to get a zero. Right, right. That'd be great. I had a lot of trouble this one. I ended up, because it's Thursday, I bumped it up a point to Falcons minus two and a half. I had a lot of trouble this one. I ended up because it's Thursday, I bumped it up a point to Falcons minus two and a half.

I had trouble too because I have no idea what they're wearing for this one. So I almost passed on it. Good cheating. You have it exactly. It's two and a half. I said one. I think they're adding a point for Thursdays. Adding

one. Really? Okay. So instead of one and a half I think they're adding a point for Thursdays. Adding ones? Really? Okay. So instead of one and a half point advantage, I have no idea if they're actually doing it, but I just assume, I think there's a home field something on Thursdays because it's four days after the last games and it sucks to travel.

Maybe. Sunday marquee game. You could either go Vikings, Jets or Bills, Texans. Well, you want to knock that out because that's the London game. Jets and Vikings. Good point. You can't start over. So that can't be

the Sunday marquee game because I should have put that in the London category. Yeah. Well, it could be marquee. So Bills's Texans is the one again. No, no.

Vikings Jets is the one again. Vikings Jets. Yeah. Screw me up. Yeah. Vikings technically home.

Vikings by three. That's what I said. It's two and a half. Ah. Vikings by three. That's what I said. It's two and a half. I wonder if that was in Minnesota. What do you think the line is? It's got to be four or a little north of four, right? Yeah, I would say four. So here's the thing.

This is where I am emotionally. As you know, I told you I wasn't going to be betting on Thursday games or games in weird countries this year. Not that London's a weird country. I actually like London. I really want to bet the Vikings in this game. After watching Rodgers today and seeing how much trouble he had moving and then watching that Vikings defense,

I think this is a really tough spot for him. I just think they're going to be coming at him, blitzes, all kinds of shit, just trying to make it uncomfortable. I gotta be honest. I don't think he wants to be hit anymore. And we've seen quarterbacks get to this point. Brady got to this point the last couple of years of his career where it was like, you knew it was a big game because he started taking hits. Drew Brees got to that point. I don't of his career where it was like, you knew it was a big game because he started taking hits. Drew Brees got to that point. I don't think Rodgers wants to be hit like that anymore. And there was, I thought he bailed out at some plays

in the last part of the game, the quarter and a half I watched. But he was just, his process is just a little faster. He's not waiting that extra second anymore. This Vikings team's a nightmare for him. I'm with you. If I'm taking anyone, it's the Vikings, right? But this is the NFL, right? Like this is where you get screwed up.

And the one thing I'll say about Rodgers, if you worry about him bouncing back on three days rest, I know it was against the Patriots. You're going to go into how bad they were. But he did do it against the Pats a couple of weeks ago. But you're right. He looks like he had that look like, what the hell have I done here

coming back? And also now he's going at it with Salah about the cadence. Salah doesn't like some of his cadences apparently. And that, of course, got out immediately. So, good times.

That couldn't have gotten out faster. Yeah. All right. So, we'll go for the traditional Sunday marquee game, Bills-Texans. Yeah. Pretty good game.

Josh Allen against C.J. Straub. Good one. It's in Houston. And I game, Bills-Texans. Yeah. Pretty good game. Josh Allen against C.J. Straub. Good one. It's in Houston. And I have the Bills minus one and a half. Damn it. You got it. I had Bills by one.

I really wanted to get that one from you, Simmons. I got to be honest. All right. Bowl three and one. This is the leading candidate for the overreaction game

of week five. Because I can see the Texans doing really well. Yeah. And then it's like, oh, remember when we thought we gave Josh Allen the MVP after three games

and we wrote off Houston. Now Houston's got their shit together. Or the other way where the Bills look good and now we're concerned with Houston. The Bills are fine. The Ravens game was weird. Josh is the MVP favorite again.

Something, there will be an overreaction. Well, you understand the entire middle of their defense is susceptible to anything you want to do. Any part. Run, pass, circle, any part of the field. If you want to punt in there, yeah, you're good. One watchable, Ravens at Cincinnati. The Ravens are certainly going to be favored

after what happened today. I have Ravens minus two The Ravens are certainly To be favored after what happened today I have Ravens minus Two and a half Alright I get this I have it exactly actually one and a half Ravens are favored That's going to be my default guess I think on a lot of For now on one and a half

Sounds good I actually put that down a bunch Because it just seems like that's the line over and over again. Bengals home dog. We're going to have a week where some of these home dogs just start crushing. Fairly watchables. I have to put Pat's Dolphins on here because I think we're getting Drake May. And that might even arguably make it a watchable.

Drake May's first start. Kyle noticed in the game today they were showing him on the sidelines a lot more in the first half. Yeah. They kept just showing him on the headset. There he is. This could be his last time in the sidelines. Could we call this a wearable? Like Kyle wears his jersey for this?

Is it a wearable? I don't know if he has a Drake May jersey yet. Well, does he actually wear a jersey? Oh, if Drake May is playing, Kyle will have the jersey on. Okay. just does he, I mean, does he, does he actually wear a jersey? Oh, if Drake May is playing, Kyle will have the jersey on. Okay. Yeah,

he will. So, I don't see any scenario where the Pats can be favored in this game, no matter who the quarterback is, even though I know who the Dolphins are going to

probably have Huntley. Mm-hmm. I just don't think the Pats can be favored. So, I'm going to have the Dolphins by going to probably have Huntley. I just don't think the Pats can be favored. So I'm going to have the Dolphins by one. All right, you're going to get it. I mean, this is where I should have got one and a half. I said two and a half. It is Dolphins by one and a half.

So you're closer. That's another one and a half. Four to two. You know what's going to ruin Guess the Lions if every line is one and a half? I could tell you if it is or isn't, but I don't want to screw this up. By the way, our next game, line is one and a half. I could tell you if it is or isn't, but well, by the way, screw this. Our next game, I guess one and a half. It is Jaguars at home against the Colts Jaguars own four. And somehow I think they're going to be favored. I have Jaguars

by one and a half. All right. I got this. Exactly. It's three Jaguars are three point favorite. That's too high. They're clearly on the kitchen sink. He needs his passport renewed. You said that this week. I know. It's three kitchen sinks in a row. No 0-4 teams made the playoffs in 32 years. Yeah.

But is it Flacco? I mean, it's looking like Flacco against Lawrence. I guess it's better for the Colts. The Richardson hit looked bad today because it hit him in his hip. And he went down. I was like, oh, fucking A. This guy got hurt again and then he came back in and they ran a little bootleg

play for him and he went down before he got hit because it seemed like his hip. So that, I don't know. I just I didn't, this would be his third injury. So I guess. It's tough to watch. Monitor that one. It's tough to watch. Let me ask you this. I was going to save this. Yeah. me ask you this I was gonna save this yeah if Flacco

I don't know how you feel about him with the Hall of Fame not making it in your head right now but if he takes the Colts to the playoffs if they snuck in at like 9 and 8

yeah I kinda think he may have my vote I'll have to look at the class coming in and everything but for God's sakes if he takes the Browns and the Colts

to the playoffs so this is the Derrick Rose argument in the NBA. Now Derrick Rose won the MVP in 2011. Yeah. I'm sorry. Good. Everyone who's ever won the MVP is in the hall of fame and Rose has a chance to be the first guy who didn't make it. And there's,

and he's not a hall of famer, but the MVP thing would make, might be able to sway it. Flacco, the, the run he had, which was the greatest four-round run any quarterback's had in the playoffs, combined with some of the other stuff, you could argue he's at least in the conversation. I mean, I would say he had a better career than Eli Manning.

Yeah. But Eli had those two postseasons, and he made it. I know. I know. Let's see what happens, Joe. Come on. We're not eviscerating you. Take the Colts to the playoffs.

It's an anti-evisceration. Right. 49ers are home for the Cardinals. And before the late games today, I guess 49ers by four, and after that, I switched it to 49ers by six and a half at home against the Cardinals. Dirtbag.

You sure you don't want to switch it back? I don't. Because a lot of times, your first impression. I don't. I missed it two points, which I never do. Yeah, that was way off.

And I said five at seven and a half, so you get that. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Well, this is. And I said five. It's seven and a half. So you get that. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. That's well, this is where this is where the Cardinals thrive. Yeah. Right. Like, oh, my God, we're huge underdogs and there's a backdoor cover possibly.

Great. Washington's home for the Browns. It's going to be a big Jaden Daniels fest all week. They're going to be replaying Deshaun Watson and Jameis Winston getting mad at the offensive tackle all week and talking about what do they do? Do they have any outs? I think I squeezed this to three.

Washington by three at home against Cleveland. I wanted to go two and a half, but I think it's three. Wanted to steal this from you. I have exactly three and it is exactly three. It's a fair line. Really? You think it's fair?

Because I wrote three. Does that get to three and a half is my question. I'm going to stick with it. I mean, who's betting Cleveland here? Who's betting them? Does Cleveland score 27 points so you had Cleveland

in the playoffs and they're 1-3 yeah I know we don't have to and I wrote down because they're 11

weeks 11-18 are an absolute gauntlet and I wrote down in my notes before the year they'd have to go 4-1 in their first five games

to make the playoffs and they're 1-3. So are you out on that? It was close. I think I'm out, but I swear I would like to see Jameis. I'd like to see what they did. We talked about admitting defeat with this dumb signing. Come up with a fake injury to save face.

Just keep going. Sure, I'm out on it. I'm obviously out on the Jaguars. Jaguars was my, they're going 10-7. They're going to be a possible 5-7. I've disowned them. You're still holding out hope on the Raiders? I am a little bit.

Yeah, just a little bit. Someone has to sneak in there. Poop Fecta. Bears at home for the Panthers. So the Bears are favored by three against the depleted Rams this week. And I added a half point, made it Bears minus three and a half for the Panthers. You know, something happened here because it was three and a half. I kick off the late game tonight and it went to four and a half.

I get it. I said four. Okay. I swear that all this went on. I believe you. I said four. Okay. I swear all this went on. I believe you. I don't know what happened. Is there an injury? Maybe people realize the Panthers aren't good.

Is another redhead coming in? I have no idea. Broncos are home for the Raiders, and this is a terrible game. I hope I don't have to watch too much of it. I have the Broncos favored by one and a half. Wow, you got it. One and a half is sweet. Yeah. I hope I don't have to watch too much of it. I have the Broncos favored by one and a half. Wow, you got it. One and a half is sweet.

Yeah. I went the other way. I thought the Raiders would be favored. I thought Denver would be suffering from what you said about Arizona. Like, thanks, but no thanks. We're not ready to be favored. But I guess it doesn't work like that. I wonder, Devontae Adams, does this hamstring just kind of hurt until they trade him?

Is it one of those? It's a little bit like it. How's the hamstring this week? I don't know. Still hurts. Smart. Can't really push off it. Just kind of waiting.

Who's the team? Could it be KC? Would those two teams trade together? Well, that's what I was going to say. Is he still, is it still about going to the Jets and playing with Aaron Rodgers? Listen, that's not what the Jets need.

Right. I mean, they can't even get the ball to Garrett Wilson. I don't know if... Casey, that would be big. Casey. I don't know if Casey could fit him. Who else needs a receiver that is in the running? Buffalo has all the cap stuff they can't really do.

Maybe the Chargers? Cowboys won't have enough money. I'm being selfish. Commanders? Bengals don't need. I don't know. Commanders, I think you're kind of like screwing with their chemistry.

It's like the Cowboys have traded for Devontae Adams. Yeah. Out of nowhere. Okay. I don't know. Yeah, I don't even know. I'm looking at the slate. I'm not sure.

Steelers. Oh, yeah. Steelers are going to win. Yeah. Seahawks are home for the Giants. This I have as one of the highest lines of the week. I have Seahawks minus six. I had it exactly, I swear.

Five and a half. Who's winning? One, two, three, six. You're up seven, six. I really want to win this last two so I could eviscerate you. Wait, there's three left, right? Three left. Do you do Green Bay Rams?

Oh, boy. You lose. If you didn't do it, you'd lose that one. Well, you lose that one. you lose that where's that game that didn't make my notes I should I should just lie to you is that an automatic

loss for me it's out here it's in LA no of course you could guess I mean could I bet that you're gonna hit

this exactly now Green Bay Rams at the Rams I'm gonna put this in the fairly watchables I'm gonna have the Packers favored and just

just for hilarity's sake Packers by one and a half. All right. Well, we tie on that then because I did have one and a half. It's three and a half.

That's big. Oh my God. It's a big number. Did the Rams have any more injuries today? You didn't think their Rams defense looked good?

I mean, neither one looked good. No. Yeah. Rams do not looked good? I mean, neither one looked good. No. Yeah. Rams do not look good. Sunday night, your stupid team. You're going to win here. Playing Pittsburgh, in Pittsburgh. So, I think the line should be three and a half,

but I guess three because I think people will bet Dallas. So, I have Steelers by three. Oh. You know, that's crazy because have Steelers by three. You know, that's crazy because I had Dallas by one and it's Steelers by one and a half. So you do get it.

But it seems like you were off more than I was. I guess you were. Well, you picked the wrong team to be favored. I would argue you were more off. When does that matter? Why should that matter? I think this line goes to two and a half. It's Sunday

night, but I feel like I'm maybe outrageously optimistic a little bit here. My thing with the Steelers now is, can you score 20? Well, their running backs are banged up. That was the big... They didn't have Jalen Warren today. Patterson was really good in the first hour and a half of the game backs are banged up. That was the big. They didn't have Jalen Warren today. Patterson was really

good in the first hour and a half of the game. Then he got hurt. It was just Najee Harris. That's it. They're missing some offensive line injuries. You're catching them on a good week. I don't care if they have Jerome Bettis. I don't care if they have Natron refried means

in there. It doesn't matter. That's from our producer, Jack Wilson. He texted me. That was another one. Refried means? Refried means. Natron means. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah, but isn't that going to be the thing with the Steelers every week? Score 20. Yeah. Get to 20. Good matchup. Fun matchup.

Good to see the uniforms again. Brings back a lot of memories. I think there were some Super Bowls there. Monday Night Chiefs Saints just automatically has to be thrown into the Vegas zone. And I just went straight middle of the Vegas zone. Chiefs by five at home against the Saints. You get it. I said four and a half. It's five and a half the Saints. You get it.

I said four and a half. It's five and a half. No, that's stupid. This will go down. You win. 10-7. Shit. Three weeks in a row for me.

How am I getting worse than this? Put me down for one and a half for everything. I'm blind betting everything next week. One and a half. I don't know which side. It was Niners-Pats. You're going one and a half. Yep.

I don't care. All right. Let's do parent corner. Before we do parent corner, we just and a half. I don't know which side. It was Niners-Pats. You're going one and a half. Yep. I don't care. All right, let's do parent corner. Before we do parent corner, we just got a text from our cousin and David Chang. Yeah. First of all, guess what it's about. Based on what happened

of your various podcasts this week, you're reading it. Oh, Bianco's taking the pizza take personally, the pizza 1.0. Yeah. But he knows I love Bianco pizza. I know, but whatever was cut out for the internet basically says that I'm sick of these fancy pizzas. And I thought it like... I wanted room for both.

Oh, no. Bianco's Italian. I got to make up for it. I might end up dead. Yeah, you're in trouble, man. He's going to be hosing Guess the Lines with me next week. Oh, Jesus.

Bianco's the nicest guy on the planet. He's the best. And you said, you know, and you love the Rosa pizza. So why would I not even get it? I've been there nine times this year. It's nothing against... I'm just saying in general, I want them to be perfect. What was your take in general?

You want to go back to the regular slice? I still like the 1.0 version of pizza too. That was my take. I like pizza. I like cheese and sauce. Okay. And I like the big triangle slices. Yeah.

I still like that too. You could get that. You could get that. But it's nice. You can get anything you want. Why is it? That was my point. I just said we've, we've, as a country, we're just moving toward pizza 2.0 cause it's like cooler, but I want room for the pizza 1.0 too. Well, the good news is you admitted that you don't eat the crust. So you're completely disqualified from any pizza. The crust is to hold the pizza. Come on. All right. Just keep going. I can't. I can't do this.

Parent corner. What are we doing? Parent corner? I feel like I'm your father. That should be the parent corner. All right. So last week while we were doing the podcast, my wife came home. She had dropped my son Archie off at college, right? So she got him set up in his apartment. I have football stuff to do. It's also the second year. I don't need to go. Only one of us needs to go. So I'm done with the podcast. I go upstairs and my middle kid, Jack Rommel says, hey, mom went into Archie's room probably to collect like 11 wet towels or something.

And she walked out crying. And I'm like, oh, Jesus. I was like, what? Did she found Diddy's thousand bottles of lube? Yeah, it was a lot of oil from Costco. No, no, nothing even like that. She just misses it. And I was like, well, what did you say to him?

He's like, I said, I said, mom, why are you upset? It's not like he died. And I was like, fucking perfect. That's right. That's exactly right. That's what you should say. Yeah.

Like, what is it? Stand by me? Ordinary people? Like, come on. He's in a good place. That's exactly right. That's what you should say. Yeah. Like, what is it? Stand by me? Ordinary people? Like, come on. He's in a good place. He's with friends. He's growing up. It's the second year.

So then the next morning I say to him, I'm like, hey, listen, I think it makes the others feel bad. Like, they're not good enough. If you're going to come out crying and it's like, this is what I'm left with. And she's like, oh, that's crazy. Don't talk like that. I was like, yeah, I just want her to stop crying. Right.

I was like, no, I really think it does make them feel bad when you see it like that. So she then has a conversation with them later that night and says, I just want you to know, this has nothing to do with you. And they're like, huh? I don't know. We never said it. I forgot to go to them and tell them what I was doing. I forgot that part of the whole thing. It became a Three's Company episode. It became a Three's Company.. It became a Three's Company. A lot of Mr. Furley with the glasses. Mr. Furley was like, wait, what happened?

Making faces. So she's all pissed at me. And she's like, you made this whole thing up and now this is bad and I shouldn't even brought it up to them. And I was like, all right, leave me alone. I have to go make losing teasers with the bills. So I'm never getting involved in something like this.

Can we go back to your wife? It's like she's on the Hallmark Channel. She just goes into Archie's room and starts sobbing. It's like, are the credits playing? What's happening? It's crazy. It's like a Fleetwood Mac song in the background. What goes on?

Try betting football. Life gets hard. She sounds like she needs some parlays. Yeah. She needs some pizza 2.0 is what she needs. So my birthday was on Wednesday, which I didn't realize until I was on Instagram, was also National Daughter Day. Oh. If you have a daughter, and I knew this because on Instagram, a couple of friends I had did these gushy Instagram posts with their daughter and wish their daughter a happy National Daughters Day. And I was enraged

because first of all, where did this come from? When did we decide this was a day, right? I always thought like my daughter's birthday was the day we celebrated or Christmas. Like they basically get two days, but they really get 365 days. Like we're always there for our kids and every day is national daughter's day, but somehow that's now a day. And I don't want to call it in our friends, but our friend Shrifty had this really nice Instagram photo with his arms around his two daughters, including one of the daughters rooms with my daughter in college. Right. And now I'm like, all right, so now my daughter's going to see this, but I don't do the national daughter's day post. And now I'm an asshole, right? I don't care. Cause I didn't do an Instagram post because that's what that whole

generation, they, they, they calculate who likes or loves them depending on whether somebody does social media posts or somebody put on comments. They put a picture up of themselves wearing a dress, going out to a party, and then somebody underneath in the comments goes, gorgeous, I love you, five hearts. And that's just the society we've created. So I was really mad about Daughters.

I decided not to do a post. My daughter never mentioned it to me, so maybe she didn't care. But then it got me thinking about what days are out there because I've seen National Dog Day too. National Dog Day is August 26th. And my wife, when that happened, was like, you should do a post for National Dog Day about Murph. And I'm like, I'm definitely not doing that. So there's a national son and daughter day is August 11th. That's if you have a son and a daughter. Oh yeah. Son's day is today. Or maybe it was yesterday. It was September 28th. That's national son's day. So did you do a post for national son's day? I didn't. I honestly, I looked at you and I looked at Jim. I looked at a few and I also weighed like

who's going to get insulted. That's kind of the thing, right? Who's going to get insulted? And I figured nobody will. So I didn't post. Well, I'll just tell you, National Boss Day is October 16th. All right. I'll hit you up. Nobody make a post for me about boss day. Anybody that works for the ringer. I don't want to post. I don't care that it's national boss day, but I went through in there. I was looking at some of the other national days. Apparently you can like have a day and like push for it. Like January 19th is National Popcorn Day. January 31st is National Hot Chocolate Day. March 14th is National Potato Chip Day. April 11th is National Pet Day.

April 12th is National Grilled Cheese Day. And you just go through and you're like, when did this start? Is this just social media related? Don't worry about running out of days either because there could be a day that has like three. It could be potato chip day. It could be friends and love day.

It could be favorite aunt day, right? It's like, yeah, you can't keep track of this stuff anymore. The fourth Sunday in July is National Parents Day, but we've already had Mother's Day and Father's Day. Oh. Did Joey do anything for you for National Parents Day. But we've already had Mother's Day and Father's Day. Oh. Did Joey do anything for you for National Parents Day? August, no. August 1st is National Girlfriends Day.

That's a good one. Can't forget that one. And then this was the one, this drove me to a tizzy, and this is really why I want to do this. August 8th is National Pickleball Day. So we're taking probably two of the things I hate the most, pickleball and just meaningless national days that people can do social media posts.

Now we've combined them on August 8th. That's my new least favorite day, August 8th. That day sucks. I'm out. I might leave the country on August 8th, National Pickleball Day. Wait a minute. I found one you might hate more. October 1st,

which is tomorrow, is Only Eat the Crust and Pizza Day. It's Crust Day. It's actually National Pumpkin Spice Day. Same difference. October 26th is National Pumpkin Day. November 11th is National Sunday Day. And that's

six days after National Donut Day. So apparently they just want us to get fat because winter's coming and it just goes on and on. And I don't understand how we got here. So how do we get out? That is the thing. Here's how we get out. I'm not doing posts for national daughter day and national Sunday. I'm just not, I'm just not doing it. Remember when Jimmy did a national on friend day for Facebook? Like that was an anti-hero. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, maybe we need

more negative days. Yes, of course. National stop following a thousand people day. Yeah, national evisceration day. Yeah. That'd be great.

All right, that's Parent Corner. What do you got to plug, Sal? Well, through The Ringer with Tate. Me and Tate, it's always a good time against all odds

a couple times a week on The Ringer Podcast Network. Cousin Sal's winning weekend on Friday, Fandle TV and The Ringer with Tate. Me and Tate, it's always a good time. Against the odds a couple times a week on the Ringer Podcast Network. Cousins House winning weekend on Friday. FanDuel TV and the Ringer with Phil Simms this week. And the Ringer pregame show every Sunday morning. We're going to be up against that London game. Oh, what are we going to do with that? This week. Well, we plow ahead, man.

People can watch and listen on different things. The London game always sucks, so we'll be week. Well, we got it. We just plow, we plow ahead, man. People can watch and listen on different things. Yeah. The lending game always sucks, so we'll be fine. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. And our picks suck too, so you'll have to,

you'll have a good selection to choose from. One more thing, controversial, maybe as controversial as the pizza, you saying that Brian Curtis,

toughest Ringer employee. Oh, crazy strength. He's Eastern European. What don't I know about this? Does he know some martial shit or something? No, this is...

Shea Serrano started this in the mid-2010s. It's just kept going since... Is it a joke? Yeah, it's a running joke. Oh, okay. Yeah. He just started this whole thing

about how Brian Curtis was the toughest guy in the ringer and he'd been in a bunch of street fights and we just kind of kept going people you sold it pretty well you didn't blow at all that was good people are making like brackets

and stuff now they're very mad they're like I want to draw Curtis in the first round this is terrific oh I'm proud of you nice job I have to plug rewatchables tomorrow night and the National Boss Day on October 16th. Very excited for that.

Cuz, as always, great to see you. Good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Cuz and Sal. Thanks to Kyle Creighton and Steve Cerruti, as always. Don't forget new rewatchables coming on Monday night. And I will probably have another podcast for you on Tuesday. And by the way, I did put up an NBA podcast on Saturday if you missed it.

We covered the Carl Anthony Towns trade, Knicks, Timberwolves. It's on YouTube as well on the Bill Simmons channel. There you go. I will see you on Tuesday. On the wayside On the Bruce and Leveron Say, I don't have to Must be 21 plus and president in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and president in D.C.

Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York.