The Bill Simmons Podcast - Best Burt Reynolds Movies, Tiger's Charge, and Week 1 NFL Gambling With Wesley Morris and Joe House | The Bill Simmons Podcast (Ep. 411)

Episode Date: September 7, 2018

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by New York Times film critic Wesley Morris to remember the great Burt Reynolds. They each go through their top five Burt Reynolds films and discuss how he owned the 1970s (2:28). Then Bill calls up Joe House to talk Tiger Woods's impressive showing at the BMW Championship and NBC's questionable broadcast changes in the NFL season opener before making some Week 1 bets (1:06:25). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode of Friday Rolling on the BS Podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network brought to you by our friends at ZipRecruiter. You know what's not smart? I don't know. Maybe running a hundred plays inside the 10-yard line in Philadelphia last night and only succeeding on like one of them. Sound familiar, Atlanta fans? You know what else isn't smart?

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College Football, Pro Football, Tuesday Nights. Nephew Kyle is producing that one as well. Nephew Kyle, the hardest word to get me in at the Ringer right now. Coming up, we're going to talk to Wesley Morris about the life of the late, great Burt Reynolds

and do our top five Burt Reynolds movies. And then right after that, Joe House is coming on to talk about Tiger Woods and week one NFL picks. We're going to do a little Friday rolling with House. This is a long pod. House comes on about an hour and five minutes into it if you just want the football stuff.

But I don't know why you wouldn't want to hear me and Wesley talk about Burt Reynolds. My old Grantland teammate, Wesley, coming up next. First, Pearl Jam. On the line right now, Wesley Morris. We've been meaning to talk to him for a while. He hasn't been on in a while, which is my fault because he should be on all the time.

Burt Reynolds died, and it got me thinking, oh, yeah, I have to have Wesley on. We've got to talk about Burt Reynolds, the biggest star of the 70s. I'm older than you. The hierarchy was probably Burt Reynolds, the biggest star of the 70s. I'm older than you. The hierarchy was probably Burt Reynolds, Redford Newman. And if you look at their IMDbs, it doesn't totally back that up. But there was no bigger movie star when I was a kid than Burt Reynolds.

What was your reaction? I didn't even know he was, I didn't know anything. I mean, I guess I should have known he was sick, but I didn't even know he was 82. I know. know anything. I mean, I guess I should have known he was sick, but I didn't even know he was 82. I know. I know. You could have told me he was 92 or 72. I think I would have believed the 20-year age range. I would have believed anything you told me.

His IMDB was really interesting because he has this whole 12-year TV career before Deliverance. So he was clearly banging out gigs for a while there, and then Deliverance happened and everything took off. We're going to play a little game today. Top five. This is something Fantasy and Chris Ryan did on either The Watch or The Big Picture. I can't remember.

Spielberg had something coming out, and they decided to do their top five Spielberg movies and went backwards, counted down from five to one, alternated back and forth. So somebody goes five, the other goes five, then it goes to four. And the first time a new movie comes up, we'll talk about the movie then. This is going to work. I know it sounds confusing.

I asked you to do a top five. I did my top five. Your fifth best Burt Reynolds movie, what was it? I'm going to pick, okay. So I'm doing Burt Reynolds movie, what was it? I'm going to pick, okay. So I'm doing Burt Reynolds in the movie slash Burt Reynolds in the movie. So my number five is the only kind of like, oh, come on, Wesley, give me a break. But the, I don't even know, three minutes he has in silent movie. Wow, silent movie.

I wasn't expecting that. Silent movie, man. He is not in it very much. He plays Burt Reynolds playing Burt Reynolds. And the joke, of course, if anybody wasn't seeing Mel Brooks' silent movie, it is still funny. It has some of the best use of Burt Reynolds

and Anne Bancroft, Mel Brooks' wife. He basically, you know, they find him in the shower. He's basically washed, lathered up by hands you can't see that we know are Dom DeLuise's and Mel Brooks'. He's been seduced into making this silent movie with them. And he just, sorry, the thing about Burt Reynolds that's so great about this sequence, and, you know, it'll become more clear why he was a great movie he's got this thing called joie de birth, right? Like where you – he's not a great actor, but he's a great something else.

And the something else that he has is this property that belongs only to him. And Mel Brooks was so aware of, he doesn't get enough credit for identifying great talent, sort of great raw talent in people that isn't necessarily comedic, and then taking those properties and making them funny. But he does that for this brief interlude in Silent Movie with Burt Reynolds. And it's just, he is so self-mockingly happy and hot in this movie. Um, that's, that's number five for me. He's a movie star in the purest sense. He can be in a bad movie, but doesn't get any of the sludge of the movie on him because he made a lot of bad movies. And I think there's very few people, especially now, I think we have a lot of movie stars now

that we've either grown up with or we've developed since the 90s or whatever you want to say. There's very few movie, very few stars that can just be like in a stinker and you still don't blame them for it. Like even Tom Cruise who's had his fair share of stinkers. You blame him for the stinker? you still don't blame them for it. Like even Tom Cruise, who I, who's had his fair share,

fair share of stinkers. You blame them for the stinker. It's like, come on, Tom Cruise, like Jack Reacher too. Not a good movie. I blame Tom Cruise for it.

I didn't, if Burt Reynolds had been in the equivalent of Jack Reacher too, I never would have blamed him for it. But all Burt Reynolds did was Jack Reacher too. I know. That's my point. Even worse. That's what made him a star. Right all Burt Reynolds did was Jack Reacher 2. I know! That's my point. Even worse. That's what made him a star. Right, exactly. I mean, he made Smokey

the Bandit 2 and Cannonball Run 2, which are two of the worst movies of the last 40 years. They're really irredeemably horrific. did he make Smokey the Bandit 2 or am I just thinking of Cannonball Run 2? Did he direct or was he in them?

I can't remember. He was in both those sequels. Yeah, yeah, he was. What was the one? He wasn't in the third one. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. They put out a third one where he wasn't in it and it was just his voice. He was barely in it for like a minute or something. But he made those two sequels.

They're just really horrific. And the only other one I can think of like that, Clint Eastwood was another one that could be in a bad movie. There's some bad Dirty Harry movies. Every Which Way But Loose 2 is really, I think it was called Any Which Way You Can. That was horrible. But nobody ever blamed Clint. And I think with Bird, he was just so freaking likable.

And he really belonged to the 70s in a lot of ways. The 70s was the least self-aware decade for celebrities we've ever had. So let me give you some statistics just to back you up. Burt Reynolds was the biggest box office draw from 1978 to 1984 consistently. Wait, no, no. He was number one. Wait, let me get this exactly right. He was number one in 78, 79, 80, 81, 82.

He was the top box office draw at the North American box office. Number one for five consecutive years. And not making good movies. Huh? box office draw at the North American box office. Number one for five consecutive years. And not making good movies. Huh? And wasn't really making good movies during that time. No. I mean,

see the thing, the thing that we have lost about movie stars is that they were not, we weren't going to watch a great movie. We were going to watch a great person be in a movie of kind of immaterial quality, right? If the movie was good, it was a bonus. If you were a big Robert Redford person and you saw him and Dustin Hoffman and all the president's men, and you were going to see, this is potentially a bad example only because of what that movie is about. But let's just say that All the President's Men is just a thriller about two reporters, like, investigating something involving the White House. And you're going to see Redford, and you leave seeing one of the great American thrillers. That's just a bonus, but you went in to see Robert Redford.

And so in the 70s, I mean, this is true of all movie stars, but I think at the point at which movies, there was just this real divergence in the 60s. I mean, I guess I can't really say that there was really a market point where it became less important what the movie was about because the star was in it. That's always kind of been true. I feel like during the Julia era, that kind of ended.

You couldn't just release a bad movie with a star in it. People started to be like, what the hell? Can the movie be good too? But you go back to Burt in the 70s, and you mentioned Redford. I think a really good example is The Electric Horseman, the movie with him and Jane Fonda. That's an actively bad movie, but nobody cared because it was like, hey, Redford and Jane Fonda, this is great.

And even like you're seeing the A Star is Born remake now, but when A Star is Born came out in 76 with Streisand and Christofferson, the movie itself is really bad, but it's just two big stars in it. And nobody really cared that the movie was bad. It was, they just want to see Barbra Streisand sing. And that was it. Um,

simpler times. And I think, I think that's a, I think that's an important thing to keep in mind, which is just, I mean, you also mentioned there were five pure movie stars in the seventies, just pure non-character actor,

movie stars. Yeah. Reynolds and Fonda Red Redford, Streisand. Newman. And I'm going to throw in Richard Roundtree, even though he only got to be a star in two movies. He was such a star in those two Shaft movies. And it was just so easy.

He made it look so easy. I think, you know, those four people plus my bonus of Richard Roundtree, that was the 70s. You wouldn't throw in Newman on that? I think Newman has to be.

Yeah, Newman's another, yeah, but I mean, Newman also had, like, he became a star in the 60s and he stayed one in the 70s. True, true, true. Same with Heston. Because I remember

when Newman was in Slapshot in 77, which I'm old enough to remember when that came out. I was like, wow, he's making a hockey movie? It was like a really big deal to me and my friends

that Paul Newman was making a hockey movie. All right, my fifth choice. I have a lot of runners up. More runners up than I expected. Movies that were only good because I like Burt Reynolds.

Like The End. The End is not a good movie. It's basically a movie about a guy, whether he's deciding whether to kill himself or not. Dom DeLuise is in it at his all time and most annoying. And it's just not good. But Burt Reynolds is really great and likable in it. Same thing for Hooper,

which really feels like it should be like rewatchable, but it's just not that good, but is fun because Burt Reynolds is in it. The Cannonball Run's another one. Paternity, Sharky's Machine. All of these were just solid Burt Reynolds movies. Gator. My number five choice though.

I'm actually, I'm going early on this one. Deliverance. Ooh. So this was the movie when Burt Reynolds put it all together and was clearly a leading man. It's a very testosterone-y kind of male bonding gone wrong. Hasn't aged that great, but at the same time has aged really, really great because it's almost 50 years old and it still kind of works and it's still kind of terrifying and the hillbillies

are scary and, and he's just a star in it. And you watch and you're like, oh, it totally makes sense that this guy would become the biggest star in the world. Um, I'm not sure how many other guys could have played that part. I was actually thinking last night of the modern guys we have, who would have worked in that part? Like maybe Brad Pitt 15 years ago. It's certainly not like a Tom Cruise part. It's not a Leo part.

Maybe Matt Damon, but it's just not a lot. There's a lot going on with that role. There's like a sexuality that he has. He's got empathy for his friend. You have to believe that he's ready to take on all the hillbillies in the forest. Um, there's a fearlessness. You also have to believe him in that wetsuit. Like you, you have to believe that this is a person who believes in his body enough to just like, in front of this total stranger hillbilly guy, this, I don't, this, you know, take off his outerwear and just walk around

for the rest of the movie in this wetsuit. Yeah, it's good. It's, it's, it was one of the most controversial movies of the 70s and led to a lot of squeal like a pig jokes and all that stuff. And now it's, it's like three generations removed. Nobody remembers. But it was the movie that put Burt Reynolds on the map.

What's your number four? Number four, Sharky's Machine. Oh, all right. Make the case. So here's why I picked this. I picked this because Burt directed it. I think it's the best of the,? Five movies that Burt Reynolds directed. Yeah.

And I, there is, this is, this is just on his face, just like a crime cop thriller. But you realize a lot of things. You learn a lot about an actor, about a movie star,

I should say when they, when they make movies for themselves. and one of the things you learn about a movie star, I should say, when they make movies for themselves. And one of the things you learn about Burt Reynolds, particularly in Sharky's Machine, is that he likes black people. Sharky's Machine is basically a black exploitation movie starring Burt Reynolds. And it is also like a very deepened crime thriller that has some like creepy things in it.

Like, do you remember the plot of this movie? You know, I haven't seen it in a while, but I was a big defender for years and years. And I just remember that it was during while, but I was a big defender for years and years. And I just remember they, it was during this stretch from like 81 to 83 where they would do these kinds of action thrillers, but they,

they always had like some sort of dark element. Like they would go like 10% too far with something. And I can't remember what it was in this movie. The 10% too far is the amount of time devoted to spying on Rachel Ward. Hmm. Oh yeah. She's this dancer prostitute who is basically the governor, a gubernatorial candidate, concubine played by Earl Holliman, by the way, who I will confess to having. We have not talked about how hot I am for Burt Reynolds, so it seems wrong to say I had a thing for Earl Holliman.

That's weird. So I'll just table thing for Earl Holloman. That's weird. So I'll just table that. Earl Holloman. Okay. All right. But anyway, she plays basically the concubine of Earl Holloman, the French dude controlling him, and the victim of the assassin hired to assassinate her because she, she's jeopardizing the campaign basically. Yeah. And so there is a 20 minute sequence where Burt Reynolds and Bernie Casey,

who's really good in this movie. Love Bernie Casey. Yeah. Um, it's him, Brian Keith, Bernie, Bernie Casey,

Brian Keith, Burt Reynolds. Um, Charles Durning plays like the sheriff or whatever, the sheriff, the police lieutenant or captain. And they're just spying on Rachel Ward. It's super duper weird.

He starts tearing up at some point when she's, when she's made love to by this French dude. It's, it's stalkery, but it's stalkery, but not despite that, but there's something about the generosity of spirit. There's a lot of time devoted to Rachel Ward's character before she's both fucked and killed.

So you kind of have an understanding, even in the limited drawing of this character, that this is a woman with ambitions and dreams and hopes and sexual desires that don't have anything to do with how much a man wants her. Um, and the whole time for Reynolds or Bernie Casey or Brian Keith is watching her reveal herself in this way. Um, there's a lot of scenes that I'm just sitting around doing nothing. I mean, Burt Reynolds is just – there's a kind of command that he has just in a scene with five other dudes. He got really trim. The thing about Burt Reynolds that made him hot, I thought, one of the things is the roundness of his face. He had a moon face and a full moon face. And in Sharky's Machine machine it's like a crescent

or like a half moon he just got really trim and just looked great um and he's both funny and serious and you buy him in this and the reason i put it on this list and put it at number four is just because it's the best of the movies that he made. And I think that if any other, like if Michael, this was Michael Mann's second movie, we would have taken it much more seriously. There's so much in this. Oh,

wow. I gotta watch it again now. You gotta watch it again. You got me excited for it. The music for it. You know, it's really good. Rachel Ward had the iconic trio of this movie Against All Odds with Jeff Bridges

which I'll defend to the death. And also unbelievable to use the title and then the title song that makes it big and it actually gets used in the movie correctly. Kudos to them. And one of the great car chases ever with Jeff Bridges

and James Woods in that. But then Fortress, which any kid growing up in the 80s, she's like the school teacher and there's like terrorists or something and they have to escape and go down and save the kids. And I was just in love with Rachel Ward as a kid. Anyway, here's my number four. And I think part of this is just because I saw this when I was a kid in the theater, my dad took me and it was like the best time I ever had in my life.

I was like, Oh my God, I just, if I could ever meet Burt Reynolds, that would be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Smoking the bandit. Um, I'm not sure how well this movie has aged.

I haven't watched in a while, but I will tell you like for kids, it was catnip and it's kind of hard to believe nobody has ripped this off and made the 2018 version of it. They basically, it's him and a trucker who is played by Jerry Reed and they have to go across country. They have to bring, they have a certain amount of time to do it. They have to bring this cargo across country. And Burt Reynolds is driving a fancy sports car.

I can't remember which one. I can't remember the name of it. And he basically is running interference for the trucker and if there's cops, he's kind of distracting the cops so the truck can go fast enough. And he's just torturing Jackie Gleason who's the sheriff in this whole police corps

and doing all this stuff and just laughing. And Sally Field's in it. And Sally Field has weirdly never been more attractive in a movie ever than she is in this. Sally Field is in it. Are you kidding? She's like, she's the, I mean, after Bird, it's her. Yeah.

And they have like a real chemistry that I think they consummated for a couple of years there in real life. It's just great. It's just really, it's everything you'd want from like a stupid summer movie. And he's great in it. And he's a movie star. And it goes back to the whole thing.

Like, I don't know how many people could have played the bandit in the, in like the history of mankind. There's certainly no actor now that I can think of, a white actor, who could have been Bandit. Like now, if you made that movie, Bandit's Black, there's no question. Burt Reynolds pulls it off. It's all charisma. It's him cackling. It's him with a toothpick and him wearing a hat and him just driving a car fast. And how does that movie work, Wesley? Well, it works because it's fun. It's ridiculous. It's totally, it's, it's, first of all, it's got more plot than any movie that runs for 96 minutes needed to have so overwritten. Yeah. And it doesn't, but you know, there was a period from like 77 to I would say maybe 79, 80, where every sort of big Hollywood movie had about three credited screenwriters.

And it's like they took three different screenplays and just stapled them together. And so they had more movie story than they needed. And this really could have been Burt Reynolds just driving for 96 minutes and it probably still would have made, wait for it, $300 million. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's how big Burt Reynolds was a star.

And it's funny because the other thing that it's got is, you don't think of this movie as being a romantic comedy, but it's totally a romantic comedy. Yeah. And Sally Field and he, of all the women, now this is an important thing because it might step on my number three choice. But I'm just going to, it's worth mentioning since, well, whatever.

Burt Reynolds made a lot of movies with a lot of women. Sometimes the same woman twice, like Jill Clayberg, but he and Sally field, it just, it just, it's so easy between them. And, and the, the degree to which Burt Reynolds doesn't do any actual work when he's on

screen is, is, is just the ease by this actress who wants to be taken seriously as an actress, but is so convincing as a movie star and the kind of movie star who you can watch kind of falling in love with Burt Reynolds while also putting up with him. She's not neurotic. She's very easy in her skin. She's very sweet nature, but also not a sucker. And she also doesn't seem to need him for anything. And this is the most important thing. She seems really, really, really attracted to him.

Yeah, 100%. And the other thing is he tapped into something with her. Because I always thought, I'm not positive she had the career she should have had. I always thought she was a lot sexier than some of the roles she did. Yes, yes. I just thought there's something about her. I just dug. And Burt Reynolds tapped into it.

And the only other time I really remember it coming out, which is really strange, but in Forrest Gump, when she has to seduce the principal to get Forrest in the school, and she kind of turns it on. And it's like, oh, man, it is sitting there. Like Sally Field had this whole side she wouldn't go near and Bert just went right into it. Hold on. We're going to take a break. Let's take a break to talk about Campaign Monitor. When it comes to email marketing, there's so much more that goes into creating smart and effective

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themselves without spending a dime. Sign up for your free trial today at campaignmonitor.com slash BS. Once again, campaignmonitor.com slash BS. All right, we're back. We have our top three left. What's yours? Number three. I'm going to just, I'm doing this so we can talk about a whole genre of Bert that we probably wouldn't get to talk about otherwise. Also, I really like him in this movie.

It's starting over. Oh my God, that was my number three. That was what I said. I had a surprise for you in the top five. My number three is starting over. I fucking love starting over. Go ahead. Okay. okay so the movie is basically burt reynolds gets divorced by candace bergen who parenthetically

is beyond sexy in this movie yeah i agree yeah she's crazy sexy i can't even stand the movie the movie needs her to be sexy because it's part of the plot, but holy, holy expletive. Anyway. The sexiest moments of her career were this movie and then when she hosted SNL and she had this charisma about her and the way she was interacting with all the cast members the first time she

hosted it, which was like the 10th episode. And that's another one. It's like Sally Field. It's like there was something there that she was afraid to go for but sometimes it came out and it definitely came out in this movie

and Burt Reynolds I mean I would love I mean I don't know if Sally Field is going to ever talk about Burt Reynolds again but

I would just love to hear some of these women because they're all still alive I mean Joe Clayberg is still alive like I would love to hear them talk about what it was like to do a scene with this man.

Right, when he turned the charm on. Yeah, I'd love to hear Candace Bergen talk about sharing scenes and sex scenes with Burt Reynolds. Anyway, this movie, Candace Bergen divorces him. This is in the late 70s when divorce was a new thing for the movies. Yeah. It was like Kramer versus Kramer, this movie and a couple others. But it was like, there was kind of a run of divorce movies.

I agree. And my parents were getting divorced. So I saw all of them. And it's weird too, because this, I mean, they were, a lot of them were focused on men. Like what it was like for the man to be single true and so single burt reynolds leaves new york moves to boston yes moves to back bay yeah and is set up by charles durning and francis sternhagen uh with jill clayberg and they just start this relationship She's also been recently divorced and they start this, they start dating and it just is a very sort of James L. Brooks wrote this movie. It's

worth saying. So there's a kind of humanity and wit in the humanity that really works. Well, wasn't this, wasn't this his first screenplay that he actually wrote? Cause he, but at this point he was a TV guy. I think this might have been the first movie he wrote. Yeah, I think this is his first film. This is his first screenplay, yeah. And it makes sense that when you know that it's a James L. Brooks screenplay, at least, the movie makes a lot more sense why it's much better than you think it's going to be.

Yes, but the thing is, I mean, so it's really mean to Joe Klayberg in a way. Like for you to spend, there's a great, the great scene in the movie is the dunk tank scene, right? Yeah. Where it's just a real comic emotional feat for her. And he is so casual. She's basically, she's a school teacher and I guess there's some fundraiser. I don't exactly know why they're having this dunk tank.

But she is agreeing to sit on the plank of the dunk tank. And she's asking the girls and the women, come on, girls and women. You can do it. You've got a great arm, Sally. Hit the button. And the women seem to take the challenge. And Burt Reynolds, who she has just broken up with, like, maybe the second time, because she's totally neurotic, comes up and starts throwing balls at the button. And she goes in.

And then she sort of gets up and she sits back on the blanket, says, would anybody else like a try? And he hits her again. And she falls in and it becomes this very funny, painfully prolonged, but at the same time, excruciatingly funny sequence where she keeps getting redunked. And by like the third or fourth time, she just loses it and starts cursing in front of the kids. And Reynolds is so cool the whole time, but he's never cruel in his coolness. He's just like, I was just trying to get your attention. Now that I've got it, can we please talk about why you dumped me? And there's nothing creepy about it. It's kind

of mean, but in a classical movie sense that isn't misogynistic, it just, um, I don't know how to explain why this isn't as horrifying as it sounds like it might be. But you watch it. And I mean, I watched it fairly recently, actually, for this other thing I'm doing. And I kind of welled up during this scene. Yeah. Very moving. So it was directed by the guy who did All the President's Men. It was nominated.

Jill Kaber got nominated and Candace Bergen got nominated. Like this was a big ass movie in 1979, 1980 Oscars made a lot of money. It was, it's also my number three. It was a kind of, I would call it a dramatic rom-com cause there's some drama elements to it. Jill Klaiber had this run in the seventies that I'm still not sure why it

happened and why she was the one that won the roles over other people. It's kind of inexplicable 40 years later. But he's Burt Reynolds because he's great with everybody. He was great with her. But the reason, I mean, I think this is a good movie anyway, and I'm all for all 70s divorce movies. But the real reason this has a piece of my heart beyond that it's a really good movie

is the Boston stuff. It is one of the Celtics. Oh, my God. There's there's but there's old Boston Garden in it. He actually I think he works for the Boston Garden, the movie. But a lot there's just a lot of Boston, Back Bay, Beacon Hill. They filmed it in 1978 during the blizzard. And there's just there's a ton of snow in the

movie. Like it really, it really feels like Boston, the two movies that the verdict even more, even more of the case, but the two movies from that era, from when I was a kid living there, the verdict and starting over where you can just go and be like, oh man, look at this Boston footage. Holy shit. And then he's at the peak of his powers. You know, he's, the thing with him was he could be the guy in Deliverance, but he could also be the divorce guy who has no self-esteem and is slowly winning it back.

That he could be those two people in different movies. There's not a lot of people who can do that. I'm trying to think of people now. It's like, it's kind of the career we wanted Ben Affleck to have, but he didn't totally have it. You know what I mean? Oh yeah.

No, he, well, okay. So there's a lot of threads here that we should try to tie together at some point before this conversation ends. But yeah, I would just say that the reason that I like him in this movie is because,

you know, you absolutely know that Richard Dreyfuss was somebody's first choice for this part. Yep. Somebody wanted to do Goodbye Girl to Electric Boogaloo, and for whatever reason it didn't happen, and it went to the opposite of Richard Dreyfuss and Burr Reynolds. And there's something about him. there's a scene in this movie where jill clayburgh who it's really interesting because she's so neurotic and she's so high

strung and she's so prepared there's a great the other great moment in the movie is that when they meet so you spend the first 15 minutes with him just sort of like watching his life unravel and him trying to figure out how to how to basically start over and he's walking to charles durning and francis sternhagen's house and it's nighttime and it's winter and he's walking on the pavement and she's walking in the middle of the street and at some point you know it's your classic i think this man is trying to do something horrible to me and at some point he like comes up on her a little bit, because I think he's trying to cross the street, but it's a little bit aggressive.

And she turns around and said, if you come one step closer to me, I'm going to cut your fucking balls off. And it's so funny the way she just like goes from zero to a hundred. And the punchline is, you know, they, there,

he gets to the house and he, he opens the door and Charles Durning is like, we're about to call hundred. And the punchline is, you know, they, there, he gets to the house and he, he opens the door and Charles Durning is like, we're about to call them. We're about to call the cops. And Burrell does what? Says why? Well, our friend was just mugged by a horrible pervert.

There's a cut to Joe Claiborne just sitting there looking up at Burrell. It's just great. And he plays it so cool. He's so cool in this movie. Well, the other thing we haven't mentioned yet is you're talking about the 70s where, you know, as I said earlier, not a lot of self-aware celebrities,

but it was also that kind of talk show, game show era where celebrities went on all these different things. They were very available to go on stuff. They would go on the Mike Douglas show and Johnny Carson and Merv Griffin, all these different things. They were very available to go on stuff. They would go on the Mike Douglas show and Johnny Carson and Merv Griffin, all these different places. Burt was always the best guest of the guys in the seventies. He was the go-to single best talk show host guest or single best talk show

guest you could have. And I think the charisma from all that stuff kind of, kind of, we just liked Burt Reynolds you know it was like that's our dude and I don't it can't go going back to now like I maybe there's a piece of Tom Hanks in that where Tom Hanks said that for years and years was like I just like Tom Hanks said yeah good guy he'd come on SNL and the talk shows and all that stuff. But Burt was definitely the guy for that decade. What's weird is I'm not, I don't think he went on SNL until the fifth season after Belushi and Aykroyd left. He kind of missed the window to be on the first four years. But yeah,

he's the only guy from the seventies, I think, who could have been in this movie. And as you said, if it was Dreyfuss, it's a completely different movie. It was also, you had these neurotic actress characters that started with all the Woody Allen movies that Jill Kleber kind of fell into. But there's just a lot of characters like that that seem really dated now. You don't see them in movies the same way. You just couldn't get away with having that high, strong woman have no other redeeming qualities in some way yeah you know she is i mean i don't want to spoil anything but she also is the love interest in semi-tough yeah and she's actually which is weird she's not so much better in that movie but the degree to which her neuroses are

sort of there's something about how hot she is for Burt Reynolds in that movie that sort of makes her more tolerable than she is in starting over, where you have a great deal of sympathy for what has driven her to this point of neurosis. I will say that she is single-handed to the reason Semi-Tough didn't crack my top five. Yeah. I just, I thought it was a miscast.

That movie never worked for me. And you would think it would because I love Burt Reynolds and I love football and I like Dan Jenkins. Well, wait, let's just move on. Let's move on. Let's go to number two. What's your number two? Because number three was starting over for me as well.

My number two is Semi-Tough. Great. Let's hear it. Okay, look. This is a football movie with terrible football scenes, right? This is a football movie with terrible football scenes.

They were rushed, montage-y, I don't understand football, football scenes. But that was okay because anybody who was seeing him in Semi-Tough had already seen Burt Reynolds in The Longest Yard. So they got great football sequences within a Burt Reynolds movie. And I love this movie because it is, it is the, I would say it is the second best use of Burt Reynolds movie stardess. He was, his comic timing was never better than it was in this movie. He had never owned his hotness the way he

owned it in this movie. And it's really important to talk about one very crucial aspect of Burt Reynolds that I think, I don't know if it's the key to his stardom, but it's definitely the key to an aspect of his stardom, which is his mystique. Normally with movie stars, they say anyway, that the ideal movie star has huge eyes. They have great big eyes. Burt Reynolds has the tiniest eyes in the history of a movie star. Nobody's ever had smaller eyes than Burt Reynolds. And as a result of having

such tiny eyes, you spend as an audience member so much time trying to look into them. I mean, I have spent, I can remember as a kid seeing him in almost anything and just like wanting the editor not to cut away from his face because i just wanted to stare into his eyes because they were so little and he just in this movie as much as as much of him as there is to see in this film i i still never feel like i'm seeing enough i've never been greedier to watch an actor be in a movie that i am in this film, I still never feel like I'm seeing enough. I've never been greedier to watch an actor be in a movie than I am in this movie. He's cast opposite Chris Christopherson in this movie. And if you really want to understand how a movie star works, just act opposite Chris Christopherson.

It worked for Barbra Streisand in A Star is Born. It works really well for Burt Reynolds here. And it isn't even fair the degree to which Chris Christopherson looks lost by comparison. Like lost in terms of like Chris Christopherson is objectively a super hot man. He is extremely hot, but I don't care about him when I'm watching Semi-Tough. I only care about Burr. That's bad for Chris Christopherson. Yeah, the reason I didn't crack my top five, the football scenes are abysmal, and I just didn't like Joe Koeberger in it.

My number two, actually, we're really getting to the nitty gritty here. Let's take one more break. Quick break to talk about the Starbucks double shot. Starts with bold Starbucks coffee, blended with milk for a smooth, creamy, delicious flavor. It is enhanced with ginseng, guarana, and B vitamins. It's the kind of thing Burt Reynolds

would have advertised for 40 years ago, because I think he was also smooth and creamy and delicious to a lot of people out there. Double shot available in six delicious flavors, mocha, vanilla, hazelnut, white chocolate, coffee, Mexican mocha. It's an energy coffee drink that not only tastes great, but gives you the energy to go from point A to point done. As I've gotten older, I've realized I need that second coffee type of thing around 3.30, four o'clock. And you know what's been my friend lately? The Starbucks double shot. Starbucks double shot energy to do the things you actually do.

Find it in your local convenience store. So I really battled between one and two. And I'm going to go, even though it's a number one movie for me, I'm going number two for Burt Reynolds just because he's older. It's a different stage of his career, but Boogie Nights. Burt Reynolds is Jack Horner. It is one of my 10 favorite movies ever.

He, at that point, had, his movie career really fell apart 84, 85. We haven't talked about his two pays yet. His two pay game became Howard Cosell slash William Shatnery

and all of a sudden he just got old and he wasn't, didn't have the same charisma anymore and he hit this kind of, kind of limbo stage between being an old actor and being the young

great actor hunk guy that he was in the seventies, early eighties. Can I interrupt you for one second, just to talk about that stretch that he, like from Smokey and like, let's say from Stroker Ace or City Heat with Clint Eastwood. So 84, he goes from Stick, like just naming some of the, some of the greatest, like non-hit hits, City Heat, Stick, Malone, Rent-A-Cop with Liza Minnelli.

I mean, physical evidence. And then he made Heat. Cop and a half. He made Heat, and when it would come up on cable the last 20 years, you'd get excited because Heat was on. And then it was, ah, it's the Burt Reynolds Heat. It was just a rough stretch. And then it was, ah, it's the Burt Reynolds Heat. So it was just a rough stretch.

And then he married Lonnie Anderson, and they were just the creepiest, weirdest couple. And he said after it was the biggest regret of his life, he made that show Evening Shade on CBS. Mary Lou Henner was his wife. He's like a failed high school coach and was just hitting this demo. He was good on that. Yeah, he was good.

And it was a demo I wasn't a part of. It was geared toward people 45 and up. Yeah, and just kind of became a TV actor. And then Boogie Nights brings him back. Boogie Nights gets... just starts getting a shitload

of buzz in 96. As it's being made, this is a huge... This director's going to be a big deal. Mark Wahlberg's in it. It is a huge, this guy, this director is going to be a big deal. Mark Wahlberg's in it. It's a huge cast. This was on the heels of Pulp Fiction when it was like these indie movies with famous people were starting to become a thing. And he's immediately distancing himself from the movie. And it's just, there's a whole weird vibe, but people are still excited about it. And it comes out and he's fucking Burt Reynolds again. He's completely revived as whatever charisma he had.

It's not as sexual because Jack Horner is not really a sexual character, but he definitely appreciates sex, values it, wants to turn it into art. There's that great scene when they're cutting whatever the Dirk Degler movie is and the guy's like, this is the best film we've ever made. And the guy who's at it is like,

it's a real film, Jack. And he's like, this is one they're gonna remember me by. And it's just, he's this father figure slash kind of artist in a world where porn

is just heading toward video cassettes and just this grisly ending. And he's great in it. And I can't imagine anybody else in it. I also can't imagine a better like career revival part than that. Now, he was in Striptease, Fantasy. We'll read Fantasy's top five at the end. Striptease cracked it.

So it's not like he hadn't tried the comeback part but this worked out about as as well as it possibly could have it's hard to imagine um anyone else in the role and he had real tension with mark walberg that spills out in the pool scene where they get in the fight and it really does seem like they're gonna get a fight and paul thomas anderson said on this podcast that it really was tense for those two days. And a lot of stuff spilled over in that scene. And you could feel it. It really seems like they're going to start punching each other.

Great role for him. Fantastic, iconic movie. And that's my number two. Why did he distance himself from it? I think he never saw it. And I think he didn't realize it was going to be so porn heavy and he just didn't instinctively like it. And I don't think he liked Wahlberg.

And I think he thought I was researching last night. He, he said he was really dismissive of Paul Thomas Anderson. Like he gave some interview to GQ three years ago and they were like, do you think you'll ever work with Paul Thomas Anderson again? He's like, I don't think so. He's too full of himself. And he told this story about Paul Thomas Anderson bragging about the opening shot in Boogie Nights and how like unique it was to have the camera just follow it all the way through that thread for the first four minutes. And here's this quote where he's like, I had to explain to him that five other movies have done it. And then I listed the five movies to him. He was just like such an asshole. But I think he became an asshole.

I think that was part of this whole Burt Reynolds from mid eighties on. I think he was so famous. He kind of became really hard to work with in a lot of ways and became, he was the biggest star in the world forever and could not fit in from a chemistry standpoint a lot of the times. Yeah. That's interesting. Like I, I, I'm, as you know, I am, I'm an enormous lover of Paul Thomas Anderson and this might be my least favorite Paul.

I know that's one of our, that's one of our rare like divergences. Um, I don't dislike it. I know. That's one of our rare divergences. else in the movie can fill. And I also think it is his least original movie because it's so besotted with, with other, with great aspects of other great movies, right? Yeah. Um, I, I can, I still can only see Scorsese and Tarantino in this movie. I don't see Paul Thomas Anderson. Hold on. I got to wipe the tears out of my eyes thank you hurting my feelings I mean look he's one of our great he's one of our great filmmakers period he might be our greatest greatest American filmmaker and

this is just this is a young person really I don't want to say I don't want to say punching above his weight but kind of punching above his weight in a great sense. This, to me, was an omen of everything else that happened. He more than capitalized on it. But I also think that he was doing a thing that Tarantino was good at,

which is like taking some rubbish heap movie star who used to mean something to this country and resurrecting them and telling you as an audience member, why they mattered. Yeah. Um, but I think that for me it is like, I think Boogie Nights is a, is a great work of like karaoke and pastiche and not terribly original storytelling or ideas. Well, you're never coming on my podcast again. So what's your number one? We need one more.

Yeah, what's your number one Burt Reynolds movie? It's Smokey and the Bandit. Ah, that's your number one. You love the Burt Reynolds Sally Field. I got it. Well, I mean, it's complicated about Burt because, okay, so for years he was, okay, first of all, there's two versions of Burt Reynolds, right? There's mustache Burt and clean-shaven Burt. And in Sharky's Machine, bearded Burt. And then there's toupee Burt. There's just so many different iterations of this guy, all based around hair, right? And there's also the fact that he seems like he's from, he's something else,

right? He isn't just some white guy. There's some other race or ethnicity in there somehow. It's Florida. You know, he says, you know, that he's Cherokee, right? Yeah. I thought you were going to say Florida. No, I mean, he's Cherokee. Okay. You know, and so what you see, you see something in him that is just so unusual and it's so fascinating.

And, and it kind of made, you know, he looked, he was tortured by the, by being compared to Brando because he looks so much like Brando. It's insane. And, but with the mustache, he looks like Clark Gable. And without the mustache, you know, in the seventies, you look like Sean Connery too.

Yeah. And there's just something about the reason I'm choosing smoking the bandit above like the best little whorehouse in Texas above, uh, paternity of like 15 other movies where I think he is just, he's just totally on, is because that movie, the reason that movie was a hit was because, and I think Pauline Kael said a version of this, when this guy is moving or when he is in something that moves, there's nobody who's a bigger or more interesting star. Yeah.

Because he has such a command of how to hold the wheel of a car, how to hold a football, how, I mean, and this is going to sound crass, and I don't mean it to, but like when he's driving that car with Sally Field in his lap, oh my God, there's just. Yeah, you think they're just going to start fucking in his lap. Oh my God. There's just, yeah, you think they're just going to start fucking in the car. If they don't need to though,

this is, this is the other thing about Burt Reynolds because I actually think that his, um, his kind of improvement in terms of like movie quality and daring is Michael Douglas, who was actually interested in having sex and exploring the problems of being the kind of man that Burt Reynolds was. Burt Reynolds, having the sex wasn't that interesting to him.

Embodying the sex was more interesting and more important to him and smoky and the bandit is such a such a an explosion of what is hot about burt reynolds even though he does very little like compared to semi-tough where he is just he is just like a walking erection inducement and like like a walking thing to just like make you totally just horny beyond horniness he's not doing anything in smoking the bandit but just just being i mean his his line delivery is perfect you know that this is a you know this movie should not work at all but it totally works because this man is telling you i'm a movie star i can take this crappy crappy movie. I can get something done with it. I can have all these great actors like Jackie Gleason and Sally Field around me, but I'm going

to be the center of gravity in this thing. And I'm going to hold all this chaos just with my presence. And it's a mustache movie, which means that his swagger just operates in a totally different way than it does when he has no mustache he seems very shy and reserved with no mustache long longest yard accepted and i don't know it's just it just it is such a great demonstration of of what made burr reynolds burr rer Reynolds to like not just me but you know to America it's his LeBron going to the Lakers movie where he's

just like you don't even need to sign anybody else we'll be fine we're a finals contender I'm here we don't need a script don't worry about it we'll figure it out on the fly we'll win 58 games and we'll make the conference finals it's fine that's Smoke Smoke in the Bandit. My number one is The Longest

Yard. I think to this day, to this day, this moment, I think it's still one of the five or six best sports movies of all time. It is 44 years old. You could make a case that it

started sports movies. It started the modern sports movie. It is the first watchable sports movie for right now. You could watch Longest Yard today with your 10-year-old son or whoever and three 18-year- olds, doesn't matter. Nephew Kyle, have you seen Long Shared?

Oh, Nephew Kyle's in. Okay. Uh, it's just good. He's just a movie star in it. And it starts out, there's a little antihero and it's actually a jarring first scene.

He's, he's living with some rich girl. He's the disgraced point shaver. And he's living with some rich girl he's a disgraced point shaver and he's living with some some sugar mama basically and they get in a fight he actually hits her

or whatever he was and he hits her and you know in the 70s not a big deal now you watch and you're like wow I'm out on this guy but they wanted to establish that this was not a good guy. You know, when they make sports movies now, it's like, this guy's not a good guy.

He like spitted a fan. Back then it was like, this guy's not a good guy. He shaved points and he's hitting his girlfriend in the opening scene. And he goes to jail. He gets chased around, goes to prison. All the prisoners look down on him because he's this guy, Paul Reckon Crew, shave points.

And eventually he realizes like to kind of curry favor with who they trap him in some sort of thing. And he has to play the guards in a game. He has to organize a team. The evil warden played by Eddie Albert basically organizes a convicts versus the guards game. Burt Reynolds as QB. And I won't spoil it if you haven't seen it.

I know you've seen it, Wesley. It's unspoilable. But the last half hour still holds up as just unbelievable. They film everything wide. The football scenes are outrageous. He is the most convincing best quarterback who has ever been

in a movie I've seen people he played football in college I've seen lists where people are like oh no here's the best

sports movie quarterbacks ever if it doesn't have Burt Reynolds in longest yard on it it's like just take it off the internet he's by far the best

he's running run pass option he's running sweeps around the right they end's by far the best. He's running run pass option. He's running sweeps around the right. The warden threatens to frame him for caretaker's murder and he decides alright I'm going to have to throw the game and starts

throwing the game and then Granny looks at him on the bench and he's like I never thought you'd sell us out and Burt Reynolds has a change of heart and brings the team back and has one of the bench. And he's like, I never thought you'd sell us out. And Burt Reynolds has a change of heart, brings the team back and has one of the great speeches at the end. And then it's like fourth and goal from the one, which is why it's called the longest yard.

And he has this crazy run in his scores, has the stick this in the trophy case line at the end. He's a movie star the entire time. He's the most convincing football quarterback we've ever had. He's funny in it. Like there's really funny scenes. It's like all the best things about Burt Reynolds.

He gets to have sex with Bernadette Peters in it. He's just great. It's a total movie star role. And when they tried to remake this with Adam Sandler 30 years later, and then they had Burt in the old guy tight end role, it honestly pained me. It was like water torture. I just couldn't believe they did it. They tried me. It was like a, like it was like water torture. I just couldn't believe they did it.

They tried to turn it into like a slapstick comedy. And to me, it's like you can't remake Longest Yard. It's like remaking Rocky. It's like remaking Hoosiers or Slapshot or you just can't.

And Adam Sandler did and I will never forgive him for it. But anyway, that's my number one Burt Reynolds movie. And I've watched it a staggering amount of times. It's an important thing to say that Robert Aldrich directed this movie. One of the great directors of classical Hollywood.

He made The Dirty Dozen, made whatever happened to Baby Jane, really understands how to use studio assets to get studio value. But there's a grittiness to this movie that you don't associate with Aldridge. But I mean, like a like a visual grittiness, like human grittiness. Yes. And how Needham did the car chase choreography. There's a car chase in the movie and that was yeah in the beginning anyway you're so right about about

I mean we you've I mean I think every one of your movies you have said that nobody else could do this but Burr Reynolds yeah I always go back I always go back with that

with movie actors and it's the one thing we do with sports but we don't do it the same way with movies. It's like, just start, if you're talking about a great performance, who else could have played this part? I can't come up with anybody. Maybe Newman. It certainly isn't Adam Sandler.

No. Maybe Paul Newman? Maybe? I don't know if he's too sure. I don't know if he could have pulled off the footballs convincingly, but anyway. Paul Newman isn't sexual in the same way that Burt Reynolds was. I mean, Paul Newman is insanely

beautiful and sexy, but I'm not, and he was sexual, but it just would be a different thing because there's something there's something loose about Burt Reynolds when he wanted to be loose, right? There's a kind of um

there's a kind of a little bit of danger with him you're surprised that he hasn't hit more women to be honest with you you know and i think that that's always the tension like you watch something like starting over and you're just like he's gonna do something horrible to joe clayberg and i'm gonna have to turn this movie off i think he had that tension in real life. With her? No, just in general. I think Bird had some issues. Oh yeah, there were those stories about him not being abusive. Yeah, who knows?

But, you know, there's something about him that also just seemed permanently sad. And I think that goes back to the eyes. I think that goes back to the eyes. I think that goes back to the dark features, like he had just dark hair, dark eyebrows, dark mustache. He just was unusual in so many ways. He was a tall,

like truly tall, fit, vain, but likable and sort of self-deprecating actor who never, like, I guess one of the ways to describe him, I guess, is like the most, to me anyway, the most fascinating non-actor in the history of movies, right?

Yeah. There have been lots of people who can't act, but none of them has even been able to turn that, Burt Reynolds never wanted to be a great actor as far as I'm concerned. Like, I don't think that was a priority for him. And I think with Longest Yard, the way it ends is kind of the perfect Burt Reynolds ending. And it's a theme of a lot of his stuff where, like, I know I have all this stuff going on that seems like it's good. But I'm really, I'm sad inside and I deserve my fate.

And Longest Yard, Longest Yard, it's like, you are going to spend a lot more time in prison if you don't lose this game. And he hits a point where he's like, you know what? My life sucks anyway. I'm going to, I want to win this one game and that's fine. I'll be in prison for the rest of my life. This is what I deserve. People wanted to see him die in the end. Like the end was about a guy trying to kill himself.

It was a huge hit. With Dom DeLuise. I guess the worst thing Burt Reynolds ever did was inflict Dom DeLuise as an actor on us. So we'll forgive him for that. Here was Fantasy's top five. Number five, Longest Yard. Number four, Striptease.

Number three, Semi-Tough. Number two, Boogie Nights. Number one, Deliverease. Number three, Semi-Tough. Number two, Boogie Nights. Number one, Deliverance. And he wrote about Deliverance on our site today or last night or something, just about how making the case how Burt was the rare former athlete who transitioned into actually being a famous actor,

which a lot of people tried. Yeah, that's another good point too. Nobody has really pulled that off. Well, we'll miss Burt Reynolds. He definitely belonged to a different era that I'm not sure exists anymore. I think everything is a lot more careful. Bradley Cooper, like people who could, if they wanted to do a version of this, I think Bradley Cooper could just spend his time doing a version of what Burr Reynolds did.

I'm glad you brought him up because I was going to make that point and I forgot. Deliverance comes out in 72 and Burr Reynolds becomes a real star in it. But you still need that second one after the one that the breakthrough hit to kind of prove you're a movie star. And I think Longest Yard was that for him two years later, where it's like, nobody else could have been in this movie. I'm a movie star. And for Bradley Cooper, weirdly, it was Limitless. Limitless came out like three years after The Hangover. Kind of stupid, generic, like weird, crazy plot.

I actually thought it's a really smart plot, but the kind of movie that kind of comes and goes. And Bradley Cooper carried it and it made a lot of money. And I think it made everybody realize like oh he's a movie star and I don't think we were convinced until weirdly Limitless came out and I think that was the case for Longest Yard before we go

and we have to go because we got to do football with Joe House where do you rank for a star is born on a scale of 1 to 10 for an anticipation on the anticipation level right now? Uh, I mean, it's pretty high.

I've seen it. So I'm, oh, you saw it. When did you see it? It's not a couple of weeks ago. Where? In New York city. What the hell? How do you not tell me this?

Cause I didn't want to ruin it for you. Oh, just give me, don't say anything. Just give me a grade. Like what kind of grade? A to F. A to F? Yeah. I'd say B plus.

Oh, all right. Strong B plus. This is the ringers most anticipated movie of 2018 we've had more conversations debates in our movie slack people posting trailers nobody knows what to expect it is

an old school non comic book just a really interesting polarizing movie with stars that I want to see in a movie theater and not on my own TV, which doesn't happen. He's a director, you know, he's a, he's a real director and a movie star, obviously. Yeah. And, and she is, I mean, she is, she's, she's good. Wow. I can't wait for this.

I can't believe I'm this excited for an A Star Is Born remake, but. I can't believe it either, but it a Star is Born remake, but I can't believe it either, but it's like, it's a, I mean, it's just one of those stories that if you do it even a little bit right, it should, it'll satisfy you. And that was the frustrating thing about the Streisand one is it had all the pieces and they just completely botched it.

And it's, it did so many mistakes made. My wife and daughter are more excited for a Star is Born than any movie I can remember in a while. It might be the one thing that might...

Oh, that makes me happy. Yeah, it might bond them. You know, my daughter's 13 now. They kind of go to war all the time, but I think this movie will bring them together.

Wesley Morris, anything to plug? You were still working on your book. I'm just working just, you know, usual stuff. I don't like when...

The podcast is on a little bit of break of a break and uh we're gonna i'm gonna write and then we're gonna come back to the show in the fall and i like later this fall and i don't know everything's good with me i don't like working on a book wesley morris that much i just want you to finish the book i want i want to too. I want, I want, I am not working on a book, Wesley Morris, back in my life.

But I've been there. I know what it's like. It's like this giant jigsaw puzzle. You can't get out from under the pieces and you just, once it's done, it'll be great. Thanks for coming on. Me and Burt Reynolds appreciated it.

I will talk to you soon. Rest in power, Burt Reynolds. You have your house for me. All right. I will see you. Bye. Rest in power, Burt Reynolds. You have your house for me. All right. I will see you. Bye. Thanks, buddy. Thank you. All right. That was fun. I'll talk to you soon.

Okay. All right. Bye. All right. We're going to talk to House. We're going to talk to him about Tiger and we're going to do some week one NFL picks, which reminds me, you know, when people ask me for advice, like right now, the picks I'm about to give you, most of the time, I don't know who's going to win. This week, I think I have some ideas.

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And don't forget to use the promo code BillSimmons when creating your account to claim the bonus. You play, you win, you get paid. And hopefully I get paid after I make these week one picks with Joe House. He's here right now. All right, it's time right now. All right. It's time for a throwback edition of Friday rolling. We rolling Joe House?

We rolling. It's Friday. It's the first week of the NFL season. Tiger is doing interesting things on the golf course. I mean, we got to be rolling Bill Simmons. There might be an emergency shack house pie. If Tiger wins, you got to do an emergency shack house. It won't even be an emergency.

We're already lined up for Sunday. Oh, good. We forecasted it. Okay. Tiger, he's back, man. I don't know what changed, but he's banging it out. What's changed? His health. um his health he he is finally for the first time in half a decade physically and mentally

able to just go out and compete at golf and it is a reminder to all of us that he is a golfing savant right he is an unparalleled talent i mean lots of folks in the in the golf commentariat world point to this time last year where it was big news that his doctor gave him approval to go out and start chipping. You're allowed to do little six-inch movements with your wrists again, Tiger. I mean, a different kind of six-inch move, and I'm sorry. But here we are. Not only is he competing for majors, which he hasn't done in eons,

but he's going out and shooting crazy low scores. The 62 that he shot yesterday is the lowest, his career lowest opening round since a 61 that he shot back in 1999. Crazy. We thought we'd, I had given up mentally. I'd given up. I just felt like.

It was the right thing to do. I felt like it had become. You want to protect yourself. Yeah. I felt like it had become one long dick tease. And it was like, oh, Tiger always hitting him.

But it is strange to me. And clearly he is a savant that he can be doing this when he can't keep a fucking drive on the fairway. And. Well, that was the big difference for yesterday um he hit a ton of fairways and regulation there was a lot of thought as the week arrived the big news the big tiger news was that he was putting the scotty cameron putter back in his bag the one with which he won 13 of his 14 majors because he'd been on a bad streak putting wise the last few events but what he really did yesterday was knock the hell out of the ball and his proximity to the hole was you know off the the chain which is something

we've seen from him in this last stretch of very enjoyable tiger golf uh the scintillating performance he put on on the sunday at uh um the pga championship when he was firing at pins on the back nine i mean that really got the hair standing up on the back of the neck again so this proximity the whole thing makes sense i will say this uh i have a an explainer for this season he's played in 17 tournaments this is either his 17th or 18th and he's only missed two cuts he missed the cut at riviera in the early uh you know golf season in january and he missed the cut at the u.s open and he really missed the cut at the u.s open because of an opening round 78 uh that included a triple bogey on the first hole he just kind of had a you know a brain fart kind of deal but um

there the the guys at the golf channel were observing that tiger has been starting off slow which which is true his average position in the first round across the season has been 43rd. The thing that I would say about that, he has been playing this season in a way that suggests he has been wanting to simply make cuts. So he's been playing more of a conservative style of golf, not necessarily like the Tiger brand of golf, because he's back in a race car. His body is a race car.

Yeah. BS. I don't know if it's a Maserati or a Lamborghini or whatever. It's definitely something Italian. But he's back in that race car and he's finding out, if I push the pedal this way, what am I capable of it is no coincidence that he leads the pga tour in scoring average on saturdays so i think what we've observed this season from him is just simply wanting to make the cut because he knows he's smart he's a golf savant that the important thing

for him as he re-engages is to play four rounds of golf, not go out there and try and fire at pins and be, you know, he didn't show up expecting to be the Tiger of old in terms of kind of a swashbuckling style of play. So he had kind of a more conservative approach. He made cuts, and he made cuts all year long. And then on Saturday, we would all wake up. He'd be like, you know, in the 20s or 30s,

but then, oh, Tiger's going low. Tiger's going low. And he leads the tour in scoring average in the third round. So not a big surprise. I think good game plan. He wanted to make cuts. He wanted to get rounds. He wanted to be competitive again. And so here we are. I don't think people realize this golf calendar shift next year with Tiger cresting at seemingly the perfect time is it's all working out because they moved this PGA up and now we're going masters PGA. What's next, British or US? The US. US and then end with British and it's four straight months April to July and if he's cresting now he takes a break

comes back we're going to have to go to the Masters again if Tiger's like officially back right I wasn't planning on ever going again but now now I feel like we have to go and we learned some stuff from last year where we should we got to be in the media center

we got to do podcasts right after like there's, there's things we can do next year. I feel like, but I kind of feel like we have to be at least there for one or two rounds next year. But then us is that it's at pebble, right? It is British open is in Ireland,

which you and Jacko and I kind of had to feel each other out, text chain about it that I, you know, I think we have to, I mean, I wouldn't say that it's dead. I would say that it's still alive. No, what would be dead would be Jacko if we brought him to Ireland for a golf

tournament. We just, we'll just, we'll get round trip and then we, and we'll get Jacko one way. Cause he's not coming back. You're, fair point we'll get round trip and then we and we'll get jacko one way because he's not coming back you're you're already looking forward to the 2019 schedule and the way that a fully restored tiger you know might might titillate might have us all on the edge of our seats again yeah i'm interested in kind of the rest of this season so like what if tiger this coming sund Sunday is on the leaderboard in first or second place and going up on NBC

against NFL football. I'm just curious as to what you think the numbers are going to feel like. Oh, well, the weird thing is the late games aren't very good. So I actually think if, if he's going against the late games that we have, he actually might pull some eyeballs because you got Chiefs, Chargers, Seahawks Broncos, Cowboys Panthers, Redskins Cards. So I don't think that the isn't the U.S. Open finalist Sunday also? The tennis? Sure. OK.

I don't know what time of day because the weather's. Nadal Djokovic for five and a half hours on sunday sure okay they're they're calling for possibly bad weather uh around the philly area on sunday so we don't know what time tiger's going to be playing i just think it's it's very interesting and if he he continues to you know uh place out very well in this tournament he'll make the uh final tournament two weeks from now down in atlanta and obviously the rider cup is coming up yeah i mean it's just interesting nbc has caught the tiger used the word crest they they caught the tiger wave at the exact right moment and you know the only nbc they i mean the only

football they have is sunday night football i'm just curious to see kind of how the numbers play out with uh you know a tiger and phil um you know back at the top of the of the the charts golf wise i mean it still pales in comparison i know the sport religion here in this country is the football but but i'm just curious to see sport religion here in this country is the football but but i'm just curious to see what's possible no matter how bad the football is like last night we had eagles falcons last night it was just an absolute shit show we should mention nbc did the whole um nbc did the whole uh that green zone thing which was one of the dumbest technological uh quote-unquote innovations we've seen.

And sometimes everybody hated it. It seemed like I hated it. I detested it. I, I, I didn't get a chance to tweet this out cause I was doing a fantasy draft while watching the game. And I was about six vodkas deep.

But the, the, the thing that I would, I'd like to encourage is the graphics department at NBC Sports. Somebody needs to go in there and take all the vape pens that are in there out of that office. Yeah. Because I think there are mind-altering substances. The truly egregious NBC graphic thing was last week's football between Michigan and Notre Dame where they kept down in distance in penalty flag yellow.

Like we're watching. I'm trying to watch that game. It's just a nice, hey, football's back. Here's college football, two storied schools with these traditions. And they keep showing down in distance. And I keep thinking there's a penalty flag. It's, so my theory on this, anytime there's a bad idea, I think what happens is you have these networks

and they just have a lot of executives and they have a lot of people and they'll have meetings and they'll have like a meeting in June and they'll invite 20 people. Because I used to see this happen in ESPN. 20 people, let's talk about the season. Let's talk about plans. Do we want to add anything? Do we want to fix? And I'll have all these people in a room and people will have ideas that you're expected to come up with. Oh, I think, well, what if we did this?

What about this? Oh, I like the, with that camera behind the quarterback, we have some innovations there. And they don't want to just come back with the same stuff. They don't want people to feel like they're stealing paychecks.

So they come up with ideas. And at some point they went around the room and somebody who clearly had been in the parking lot hitting the vape pen in a major, major way. It was like, what if we shade the area from the line of scrimmage all the way to the first down marker on third down? We make that darker. And everybody kind of looks and they're like, why? And I'm like, wow, it'll jump out. It'll jump off the screen. And nobody stopped it. And then it just kind of looks at it, and they're like, why? And I'll be like, wow, it'll jump out. It'll jump off the screen.

And nobody stopped it, and then it just kind of kept going, and we ended where we were last night with one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. And I don't know where it goes. People are comparing it to the blue hockey puck that Fox had a million years ago. Fox had the blue hockey puck because we didn't have HD back then.

We had square TVs. You could barely fucking see anything, and nobody could see the puck when they watched hockey unless they had a giant TV. So they made the puck blue to try to... The blue puck, I will defend the blue puck. It was ludicrous, but it was defensible. As will I. I'm right there with you. You know what I was never worried about watching football on my giant HD TV that I have now along with the rest of America? I was never worried about where the first down marker was. I never, once we had the yellow line, I was like, okay. That's it.

That's the marker. I know they have to get there. They achieved the pinnacle. Yeah. The yellow line's the pinnacle. So just stop. We don't need anything else. We're done.

So I don't know where, I don't know how much dumber and idiotic this can get. I, I joked last night, like make the end zone, make white sparks shoot out of the end zone and put the fucking uprights on fire. Like Matt, Matt Ryan could have used, uh, you know, some, some, uh, enhanced accuracy adjustment to the flight of his ball. Cause God, he sucked last night. He sucked. And he kind of sucked last year, too. And it was same old Falcons.

It really was. It was that first drive. They get down inside the five, four plays. They don't score. They get stuffed. Next time, they just get a field goal. End of the game, same thing.

It's like the same thing we watched last year. They have all the same problems. I was stunned that they didn't um the julio jones factor with uh just him being double covered collinsworth calling out how they're double covering them on that last drive and they're still trying to get the bottom you know they the falcons are who we thought they were so our pal uh chris ryan i'm sorry no good he is our pal i love chris ryan but our pal chris vernon uh retweeted somebody there was an outstanding stat somebody cobbled together that showed um top red zone targets of the past year and uh jolio jones was was second and the conversion rate for touchdown was uh everybody else was like there were two guys

around 50 conversion rate it was like deandre hopkins and uh i don't remember who the tight end was and and uh julio was there with 20 targets guess how many touchdowns unless you already saw this stat wasn't it like two i think i saw it it was well the one that i saw i don't know if it was accurate i not, it said one. One touchdown out of 20 targets. Well, because it's week one and because we both love gambling, we were going to make a couple picks. I don't know if we're going to do this every week. Oh, I was hoping you were going to say that.

Yeah. I don't know if we're going to do this every week, but we're going to do it this week because it's week one. Week one is both terrifying because there's so much turnover and change and all that stuff. But also week one and week two, as you know, and as anyone who's ever listened to this podcast know, is when the best value is. It's when Vegas has no idea who's good and who's not good. It's when the public is betting on the wrong teams and pushing the lines the wrong ways, I see some inefficiencies, to say the least. Oh, nice. There are a couple fishy lines.

Now, last night's line was fishy. Fishy enough that I stayed away. Philly, that line dropped to minus two. And I got scared and I stayed away. I felt out Sal about maybe doing a bet. He was already in on Atlanta. Sal was all the way in on this line so fishy on betting the Falcons. Sal does that sometimes.

Yeah. Did not work out. I understand that logic. And watching the entirety of that game, it wasn't like I thought that Philadelphia was markedly better than Atlanta. Atlanta's good. It was. They just.

Yeah, you're getting points in a game either team should have won. That's where you want to be. There was some bad luck. Yeah. If they get a touchdown at the end, they cover. I think what struck me with Philly, we're not going to overreact to any game in the first six weeks. We've been down this road too many times with football.

I mean, we're nearly 50 years old. We're finally learning. Yeah. But what struck me with Philly was the lack of speed on offense. I do think that's a problem. Maybe when Alshon Jeffrey comes back, that gets fixed a little bit, but they just seem slow. It just seemed like a grind for them, for their receivers to get open,

for really until that last drive when Corey Clement, when he burst through on that like 35 40 yarder and he actually had some space for once i think they're going to reimagine themselves maybe because they still have a good line i know some guys are still bend up but maybe as like this power rushing ball control team and then mix in the rpo and figure it out as it goes along whence will help one question whence whence's's return, he's so dynamic. I'm very intrigued to see what kind of

quarterback, what kind of identity, quarterback identity he re-arrives with. Whether he will still be as mobile, whether his instincts will have him running, or whether he'll take it down a notch. I don't want a repeat of the RG3 experience.

Well, they've already made it seem like it might be six or seven weeks, which I think is fine. Me too. It's just you watched that game last night, and it's just hard to believe that this was the same team nine months ago that the Patriots literally couldn't stop once. That just went up and down the field and made huge plays over and over and over again in all kinds of ways and either the eagles have gotten a lot slower or matt patricia was the

worst defensive coordinator in the history of football and so maybe i mean the the new england defense wasn't exactly setting the world on fire last year it was not for some reason the coach of of the new england patriots thought that the starting cornerback shouldn't play. So what do I know? Yeah. All right, we're going to talk football. Wanted to quickly mention

Ringer Podcast Network. We added Ryan Rosillo two weeks ago. He's got dual threat, college football and pro football every Tuesday night on the dual threat with Ryan Rosillo podcast. He had Kyle Coward on this week. Very enjoyable interview, by the way.

And that's going to be going all the way through the season, all the way through the NFL playoffs subscribe. Now, if you haven't subscribed already, and then the ringer NFL show, I really like what we did with the feed this year, Sunday nights, Mays and Clark. So this Sunday night, Robert Mays, Kevin Clark will be there. There'll be a pod waiting for you either late night if you're a night owl or early in the morning on Monday morning, reacting to everything that happened in week one. GM Street with Tate Frazier and Mike Lombardi,

Monday night. Then we have Danacy football with Danny Heifetz and Danny Kelly. Some fantasy midweek conversation tips, all that stuff. Thursday, Mays and Clark are back. Thursday morning, previewing the Thursday night game, trying to figure out what's going to go on in the upcoming weekend. And then we have Jam Street on Friday, Lombardi and Tate once again, with a little fantasy football added at the end for last-minute ad drops, daily fantasy, whatever you're into. So that is our schedule for the Ringer NFL show

it is a very good feed people like it check it out right now let's do picks alright let's let's make a couple picks I am

let's I talked earlier in the week a couple teams that I like and I think I'm gonna my strategy in week one is going to be just to back those teams in the AFC

we did our wins we did our wins pull yesterday, the one that we gamble on. And you ended up with the Bengals right before I was about to take them, which hurt my feelings. What a relief. I like this Bengals team. I like that not a lot of people like the team, which makes me like them more.

I thought, you know, people have just kind of given up on them mentally. They're just tired of them. It's same old, same old. And there's some guys in their defense that I really like. There's a stability to what they've had over the years. Not a lot of turnover slash turmoil. Andy Dalton, it seems like they're going to try to throw the ball a bit more. Joe Mixon is finally starting running back. But I like that first month. I like when there's an infrastructure,

when there's a coach that's been there for a while and a quarterback that's been there for a while. And I really do feel like it's a little bit of an advantage. I also like them in that division as a sleeper to take it, especially if Le'Veon Bell doesn't come back. They're only getting, I thought they'd be favored in this game potentially. They're getting two points in Indianapolis. I don't understand the Indianapolis thing at all. Their defense has looked awful and doesn't have a lot of talent. Their offense, they have probably the worst starting running backs in the league, other than maybe your beloved Washington Redskins. Andrew Luck in the preseason, by all accounts,

was just throwing short passes and wasn't airing it out at all. Nobody knows what his arm strength is. And I think they're going to be one of the five worst teams in the league. I really do. And that's even before knowing whether Luck's going to come back or not. On the flip side, I think the Bengals are underrated. So I think this is going to be a line that four weeks from now, we'll be like, wow, how was Cincy not minus three in Indianapolis? That was crazy. I'm jumping on that. That's my first pick. Cincy plus two,

I'm putting a full unit on that one house. A full unit. I quite like that. And I agree with everything you just said in terms of rationale. I think the key is this nobody knows I mean you know Vegas did not award Indianapolis with a full three so they're they're tapping the brakes a little bit only only two for the home team in the home opener well I don't think I don't think people think I don't think people think Cincinnati's good I think that's what it is I think they feel like this is two shitty teams playing each other and I'm not sure that's the case. They improve the offensive line. Their

defensive front is still as formidable as it's ever been. They have talent on both sides of the ball. They underachieved last year. We don't have to belabor it any further. I'm going to join you on that full unit. I figured you would.

Any Cincinnati-Ginney points in this situation, I'm on it. Yeah, it just seems like something's wrong with that line, which leads me to my next one. I don't think Dallas is going to be good, and I'm just going to double down on that pretty early here because they're playing a team that I actually think is going to be pretty good

I need them to get out of this first month because they're missing Thomas Davis they've had some injuries the offensive line is a little bit shaky but to me this feels like a best player in the field game got Cam Newton on one sideline. You have Dak and Zeke on the other one. And really a motley crew of receivers, in my opinion. I think they're going to have trouble throwing the ball this year at Dallas. I'm not sold on their defense.

I think their coach stinks. I think he is a legitimate first coach fired threat, especially if this game goes badly. And I don't totally understand the line. I think Carolina is going to be good. And people are saying like, oh, the NFC South, like, whoa, it's loaded. I'm not sure Atlanta's good. I think there's two good teams

in the NFC South. I felt that before the season. I like New Orleans. I like Carolina as the two teams to come out. I think either of them can win the division. And if you're Carolina,

you're going to win the division or you're going to go 11 and five. You don't lose this game. You don't blow week one to the freaking six and 10 Cowboys. It's not happening. So the line's only minus three. I love the value. I like Cam Newton. I think he's ready for a big year. And that's my second pick, Carolina minus three. So I agree that there's value in this pick because of how bad I think Dallas is going to be this year. I don't agree that Carolina is going to be good. I don't think that they're going to win.

I think their ceiling is nine wins this year. They replaced both their coordinators on coordinators. The ball, obviously. And I do subscribe to the theory that this division is a murderer's row. And they play a terrible schedule this year. They have an incredibly difficult schedule. The entire NFC South, those four teams, I think Football Outsiders has them as confronted with. Somebody has them as the four most challenging schedules

in the NFL this season. But I think Dallas is going to be a train wreck. The only thing about Jason Garrett, his first coach getting fired, is he clearly knows something about Jerry. He has something on Jerry Jones that has prevented him from getting fired already. I wonder what it could be. That would be the only reason to be worried about it.

But on the offensive side, those injuries, the reason that Dallas was able to do smoke and mirrors the previous year was because of that offensive line. Now we're going to see. That line is hurt. I don't know one guy skill-wise other than Zeke Elliott that you would say is an upper echelon. I think we saw tons of Dak Prescott last year where they said, go ahead and throw the ball, and he couldn't throw the ball.

He wasn't accurate. So I'm with you. I like the situation of it. I like Carolina at home. The home opener, three points or less is great. I'm going to join you on that one. I don't mean to cut your legs, House Hat. We've been friends for 30 years.

I've heard this Carolina schedule argument made, and I've heard this NFC South gauntlet argument made. I'm going the other way. I actually think they have an easy schedule. I don't think Tampa's good. I think Atlanta's completely overrated. They're playing the NFC East, which, as we saw last night, has a chance to be the worst division out of the eight.

Like, Philly might go nine and seven and win that division. I don't like any of the other teams. They're also playing the AFC North, which has Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Cleveland. Who's the fourth team I'm playing? Oh, Baltimore. Baltimore. I don't, that's why I think Cincinnati has a chance to steal that division. I don't think that's a particularly strong division either.

And then really the gauntlet for them is the last three games. They're home New Orleans, home Atlanta at New Orleans. But before that, they have the four weeks before that at Detroit, home for Seattle, at Tampa, at Cleveland. It's a pretty nice stretch. So, you know, they were 11 and five last year. I just think they're undervalued. And I think, I honestly think people are tired of Cam Newton is what is for me, like the red flag of this whole thing. It's almost like with

where Westbrook is now in the NBA, where people are just like, yeah, I love that. You know, I heard you make that comparison. I think it's very accurate. It really is. We both think OKC is a contender this year, and I don't know if people realize that they might have the best chance of anyone in the West to dethrone or at least give Golden State a series. I think they're as

good of a position as Houston is now, but anyway. The comparison with Westbrook works for me because it feels like there's a public phoniness to both Cam and to Westbrook, just in terms of their persona. I mean, Westbrook maybe is not phony. He is relentlessly surly, but does not show up and make nice. And when he does make nice, it doesn't feel that authentic.

And we constantly are confronted with you know two two sides of uh of cam he's he's he's the classic batman villain two-face on the one hand he's jovial and laughing and he's a he's playing with kids and he's doing you know uh charity work but on the other hand we see him as a cry baby so often yeah and we just don't know. We don't trust. The American sporting public does not trust a lack of authenticity. And that's where both those guys come out,

I think. You know what, though? I thought for Cam, he went a long way with me with that Kelvin Benjamin video. I really liked how he handled that. I thought...

He kept it real, didn't he? He kept it real. He went right up to the guy. He was like, you're going to say that stuff? Say it to my face. He made Calvin Benjamin clearly back down and just seemed like a leader to me.

I don't know. I'm in on Cam. I think Cam has actually become underrated and is somebody that is one of the few guys we have right now who could take a team to 10 wins. So we will see. Who do you have for a second pick uh i just love going up against these extra crumble i can't even say the word properly anytime uh you give me nathan

peterman or you give me uh is it peterman peter nathan peterman yeah name's wrong yeah or you give me ryan fitzpatrick i don't care what the points are i'm going against them if it's not if it's under 14 points i'm going against them so i'm i'm just loading up i just as it feels like a basic betting principle if ryan fitzpatrick is on the field i'm betting against him if nathan peterman is on the field i'm betting against him and as long as it's under 14 it feels like value to me. So those are two plays just right away. I can't

get to the book fast enough to place those two bets. So you have Baltimore is against Buffalo and the line is it's Buffalo at Baltimore. The line is 7.5. New Orleans It could be 10. The line is 7.5. New Orleans

It could be 10.5 and I would take that. New Orleans 10 over Tampa and Ryan Fitzpatrick at home. So you like both of those. New Orleans at home against Ryan Fitzpatrick. Yes, please. It's interesting. I was looking at both of those. I don't know what to

make of the Ravens, but Ravens at home have been pretty reliable no matter what kind of condition their team is in. I'm with you. I think Buffalo is the worst team in the league. The thing that scares me is that everybody has said Buffalo is the worst team in the league, and they're going into this Baltimore game,

and Baltimore is a good home team. People actually think they might be a little better than some other people expect. Why isn't the line higher? It's Nathan Peterman on the road in Baltimore, a place where Baltimore wins almost all their home games. Why isn't that line eight and a half? Why isn't it nine? Why only seven? You know why? Honestly honestly i think we're paying a flacco tax i think we've seen enough of flacco i mean i think it's right to be skeptical of baltimore this season because they're going to go through this transition this is it for flacco and i don't think that it's going to end well uh and i think the the only reason this isn't

double digits is the flacco tax well fucking, fucking Trump, you know, the fucking, the Flacco tax, all the shit he's pulled. It's really ridiculous. You know, if that Saints line gets down to nine and a half, I think there's a really strong three team, seven point tees to be made with the Ravens, Ravens, Saints, and the Rams. Because I think the Rams is basically a free game this week. I totally agree with this. Put the Rams with anybody

and you win. In fact, I'm doing that as my last bet. I am putting my third bet, and this is a half unit, not a full unit. I like the Bears. I can't believe I'm saying this.

I like the Bears plus 260. I'm sorry, plus 250. The Bears plus 250 to win in Green Bay. I'm putting a half unit on it. I'm taking a flyer. Now, it's thoughtful. I understand the impact of flier mac and and i love maize i mean let there are many many beloveds at the ringer baby bear maize is among them he

came on house of carbs last year and i still get tweets from people who go to chicago yeah give give shout outs to the fantastic Pequod's pizza that he recommended. But get the GTFO. Mitch Trubisky. They put him in the most conservative offense in the history of National Football League last year. They tried to let him only throw eight times a game. Why do you think that is? I'm listening. It's a game. Why do you think that is? I'm listening. I mean, it's a question.

I don't have a counter. What is different about Mitch Trubisky? What has changed for him that's going to make – I know they have a different coach and a different coordinator, but if he can't throw the football and there's no evidence that he can, how are they going to go into Lambeau and beat Aaron Rodgers? I hear your points. It's a one point. I have the Bears plus 250, parlayed with the Saints minus 500.

It takes me to plus 320, and I like their defense. I don't care if it took you to plus 3,020. It's just they could buy to that money. I like their defense. I don't care if it took you to plus 3,020. It's just they could buy to that money. I like their defense. I like the fact that something weird is going to happen with one of these games. I agree with you. Everybody has just penciled in the Packers.

It always does. Everyone has penciled in the Packers as a contender. And it reminds me a little bit of what happened with the Raiders last year. It was like, well, the Raiders will be in the playoffs. It's like, they have... But that's disrespectful to Aaron Rodgers. Well, hold on. You just compared... I know, but

hold on. With the Raiders, it was like, well, Derek Carr and Khalil Mack. And it was like what Russella said. And the other guys. It was like, well, who are the other guys? Yeah, it's Derek Carr and Khalil Mack. And then you go, and it's like, there's nobody on the team. I think with the Packers, people have convinced themselves that if Rogers hadn't gotten hurt last year,

this Packers team would have been so-and-so. And I don't know. I'm just not sure. I convinced myself of that. Aaron Rogers. He's the best quarterback in football. Oh, he's also,

he's 35. He's had a couple of big injuries at this point. I don't love any of his receivers right now, except for Devante Adams, who had two concussions last year. Jimmy Graham, who, when was the last time Jimmy Graham meant something to you as a football fan? Like four years ago? He's going down the line. Remember, Rodgers is a kingmaker. He makes stars out of bombs. Great. I just think, I believe in this Bears defense. I think they have enough weapons with their skill guys that they can put Trubisky kind of in a box

and just be very, very careful with him, take no chances, try to keep the ball and get first downs. Run a couple trick plays. And when it's like third and 11, you don't have him drop back and throw down 20 yards downfield.

You just, you have him manage the game, House. He manages the game. You know, he runs around, he sprints.

He just, he does stuff. His strong suit. I just have a feeling about this game. Sprinting and throwing the ball out of bounds. I like the Bears anyway before the MAAC trade. Then they made the MAAC trade. I'm like, wow, they might have the best or second best defense in the league now.

I'm a believer. I don't mind it. How about this? I think they're our bounce back story. How about this, House? I think they're going to beat the shit out of Aaron Rodgers on Sunday. There, I said it. I said it right there.

I think they're going to pound him like a piece of fucking veal on Sunday. That's their best hope is to go find that collarbone, find the soft point in it, and get it cracked again. That's their only hope. It's going to be shitty weather Sunday night. It'll be windy and kind of weird, and they're just going to try to beat the shit out of them and they're going to be fired up and

Al Michaels and Collinsworth and Al Michaels is going to be like, Al, you know, I know they were underdogs, Al, but the Bears think they can win this game. That's going to happen the second quarter. I just think they think they can win this, Al. I think they think they have a better team.

I'm just saying. I think they think they have a better team. I'm just saying. I think to me it's plus 320. Team them with the Saints against Fitzpatrick at home. And I think there's a one in three chance they could win the game. So that's. All right, one in three. And you got those odds. So that's fair.

No, I like that you disagree. It makes me more emboldened. I hope Mitch Trubisky heard all of this. I really like their skill, guys. I like that you disagree. It makes me more emboldened. I hope Mitch Trubisky heard all of this. I really like their skill, guys. I like this Anthony Miller pickup. I like Tariq Cohen. I think Jordan Howard's going to have a huge year. And he had a pretty good year last year.

I was happy to hear that. I drafted him last night. Who's their lead receiver? I'm blanking. Allen Robinson. Allen Robinson. Great signing. Yeah.

Really enjoyed it. Great signing. I like Taylor Gabriel. I Robinson. Allen Robinson. Great signing. Yeah. Really enjoyed it. I like Taylor Gabriel. I thought he had some moments on Atlanta. I like Trey Burton. I agree with everything that you're saying. I'm prepared to recognize the improvement that they've made and I applaud them going into free agency and grabbing some real skilled

players in areas where they needed to improve. I mean, you know, good for them. The good people of Chicago deserve a competent football team. I just don't think we're going to see all of that come together in game one. That's all. Okay. Well, I will remind you before I let this go. In week one, there's always one team that, oh my God, where'd this come from? And I'm going through the list and this seems like one of the logical candidates. I think another one could be the Texans going into New England. I'm not saying this will happen, but the Texans going to New England and Deshaun Watson's awesome and they beat the shit out of Brady and look like a contender. There's going to be one team that we

don't expect that after Sunday night, we're going to go, they look like a contender or wow, they might be a playoff team. And I keep coming back to the bears. I think that might be the team. Yeah. The one that fits that description for me is Denver, who I think, uh, may just beat the crap out of Seattle. Yeah. I wanted to talk myself into them. And then I read that article about Elway and the 16 and 17 drafts and how bad they were and how they just basically dumpster-fired two straight drafts. I don't know how that helps them for 18. I don't disagree.

The thing that the lesson the Eagles taught us last year is how crucial depth is at every position. But I just think Denver still has enough talent on both sides of the ball. They had a quarterback problem for two consecutive seasons. True. And we like Case Keenum. I think that Minnesota made a grave mistake in not just letting Case Keenum go, but replacing him with Kirk Cousins.

They're going to find out exactly what Kirk Cousins. I saw some commentator write. I don't remember who or where in the previews. Well, we're really excited to see Kirk Cousins, I saw some commentator write. I don't remember who or where in the previews. Well, we're really excited to see Kirk Cousins ceiling in the red zone. He's going to have a lot of opportunities with the Minnesota team. Let me tell you, just sit tight. Just sit tight. There's a famous play with Kirk Cousins at the end of a game

against the Eagles three or four years ago. Just wait and see what kind of Einstein Kirk Cousins is inside the 20-yard line. Minnesota fans, just prepare yourselves. That's all I'm going to say. I'm not going to, you know, it's the beginning of the season. There's no reason to be overly negative. But I'll tell you this.

Alex Smith is an enormous upgrade over Kirk Cousins here in Washington, D.C. Yeah, this is, I have completely talked myself out of Minnesota making the playoffs. I think Kirk Cousins is going to cancer them. They're very good. I still think they're going to make the playoffs. They might win 10 or 11 games, but there's a there's a they're going to be held back by their quarterback. The point I was trying to make with Denver is they, too, were held back by by just, you

know, not even replacement level quarterbacks. They had people playing quarterback in Denver that didn't belong on an NFL field and they are no longer on an NFL field. I think Case Keenum was damn good last year.

All the advanced metrics bear it out and I think Denver still has talent on both sides of the ball. That's the one that I have circled in terms of, oh, wow, they may be back. And also, oh, well, Seattle's going through, going to have a tough run this year. I tried to get there. I'm picking Denver in our picks poll. I just can't get there mentally with Denver reading. I wish I'd never read that article about the drafts. I think Chicago makes the playoffs, and I think there's one spot left for Green Bay or Minnesota,

and I have no idea which one of those two doesn't make it. But I have Carolina and New Orleans making it. I have the Rams with the one seed, Philly, 9-7, 10 and six, something like that. And then Chicago making it either as a wild card or division champ, I don't know. And then one of those two, Minnesota or Green Bay. I think that's where we land. I have one more bet.

This is my big bet. Oh, let's hear it. I'm going one and a half units on this house. Wow, that's a big one Yeah Rams Minus 210 Saints Minus 500

Parlay A parlay Yeah Minus Minus 130 When you team those two babies together That's I mean it's

Nearly even odds almost Yeah And I think the Raiders Are gonna be awful team those two babies together. That's, I mean, it's nearly even odds almost. Yeah. And I think the Raiders are going to be awful. I think John Gruden is going to be memorably historically bad and a potential train wreck. I've already promised to eat. I said cow testicles the other day on my podcast. I think cows don't have testicles.

Bull, I meant bull testicles. Whatever brains are, I've never had brains. I will eat brains on this podcast if the Raiders make the playoffs. I'm not going to have to worry about doing that

because the Raiders are freaking horrible and John Gruden's going to be awful. It's a delicacy. Sweet breads are wonderful, so I'm not going to let you off the hook with that.

No thanks. You have to eat Goodell's testicles. That's where it ended up with the cuz. I listened to that podcast. Yeah. Well, I'll do that too. I think the Rams go. Just fondle them. That's where it ended up with the Cubs. I listened to that podcast. Yeah. Well, I'll do that too.

I think the Rams go... Just fondle them. That'll be enough for me. Just a fondle, a tickle. The Rams go 13-3, 14-2, something like that. I think they have the most talent, I believe, in the coach, the skill guys, the defense, the whole thing. And I think this is

a line that should be four points higher. I think they should be favored by eight and a half, not four and a half. So I think there's a case to be made, just bet the four and a half too. But I just like the money line combined with the Saints against Fitzpatrick. To me, that almost feels foolproof. And I'm going to one and a half units on that. So there we go. I hate using words like foolproof.

I know. By God. That's why I was careful. We've been fooled and fools many, many times when it comes to these selections. But I adore this first week money line. Just pick the better team. Yeah, just go. It really doesn't.

It feels like something extraordinary would have to happen. And just make talent picks. I might put one more team on that parlay and get myself plus odds. Who is it? The Baltimore Ravens, because I just can't abide the idea of Buffalo going down to Baltimore and pulling out. I would do that with you, but that would break one of my rules in life, which is don't put Joe Flacco in a three-team parlayer tease. So sadly, I can't join you on that. It's a good rule.

It's a good rule. It's a good rule. It's just a good blind rule to stick by. Because you can get sucked in with the Ravens, oh, they're home, and then it's like, let's go to Baltimore where Joe Flacco's throwing another pick. And you're just like, wow, my three-team tease is in flames, and I knew better. Why did I do that?

So I'm not joining you on that one. That's fine. And look, these rules are there for a place. You guys last year very strenuously tried to talk me out of a huge bet on Andy Reid in the playoffs, and I wouldn't listen, and I broke the rule. You know what I did? That was horrible.

I lost money. I could buy money. That was really sad. That was sad. We're too old for that to happen. Harrison Butker. House. I'm here.

A pleasure as always. House of Carbs. Subscribe now. Food heating up. We got to do a tailgate podcast soon. Yeah, yeah. We're going to have a couple good shows coming up. We might talk about the Minnesota State Fair,

the largest state fair in the United States of America. We're talk about the Minnesota State Fair, the largest state fair in the United States of America. We're going to get Mark Leibovich on. He spent the past four years whining and dining with owners of the NFL. So we're going to have him on and talk about the highlights and lowlights of some of those meals. I think that'll

be good. He's got his new book, Big Game, coming out. And then you have Shack House on Sunday night. Yeah, Shack House Sunday night. Hopefully talking talking about a tiger win and we're going to give us it's time to start talking about this tiger phil matchup are you aware i'm aware this this uh i'm aware this matchup is taking place on the day after thanksgiving yeah yes there's an anniversary there. Oh, I didn't even think of that. Holy shit. So remember, you know, they're trying to do this thing, Phil and Tiger, about trash talk and all this kind of stuff.

Let me put this to you. You and I have been friends a long time. We're much better friends than Tiger and Phil. They're probably more like you would call them professional acquaintances, although they seem to be pretty chummy. But they're holding open this idea of the trash talk being a little bit spicy. Do you think that there's any possibility that Phil walks up to the first tee and says, happy anniversary? No.

That's over the line, right? I think Tiger would hit him with his driver, which would be the first thing he'd hit with a driver all year. Thank you. Thank you. Phil wouldn't show up with a bag with a big logo with a fire hydrant on it, right? Phil wouldn't do that. What if Phil drove in in an Escalade? He drove with a T.

Wasn't that the car Tyler was driving? Or an Escalade with a nine iron sticking out of it. I mean... Or an Escalade with a fire hydrant attached to the front, this is rough, rough times for Tiger. Maybe, maybe drops the Blackberry on the,

on the T the, Hey, you left this. Oh, I mean, what about just play the recording? Like how that recording, uh,

what was the girl's name? Rachel, it's Tiger. I need you to do this. Like have that recording. What was the girl's name? Rachel, you can tell. Melissa, it's Tiger. I need you to do this. Oh, yeah. Huge, quickly. Huge, quickly was great. Oh, man.

What if Tiger's listening to this? Now we're hurting his self-confidence. We got to stop. Oh, no, no. Fortunately, there's no chance Tiger's listening. Well, I shouldn't say that. No, he's not listening. Let's be honest.

Joe House, a pleasure as always. Thanks for Friday rolling with me. Talk to you soon. Let's go Mystics. Thanks so much to ZipRecruiter. Don't forget to go to ziprecruiter.com slash BS. Thanks to TheRinger.com and TheRinger Podcast Network. Don't forget to check out all of our stuff,

including the new Ryan Rossella podcast, Dual Threat, and the Ringer NFL show. Thanks to Starbucks Double Shot. Starts with bold Starbucks coffee, blend it with milk for a smooth, creamy, delicious flavor, enhanced with ginseng, guarana, and B vitamins. I know I need energy around 3.30 p.m., 4 p.m. every day. Need a little friend, need a little pick-me-up. That's Starbucks Double Shot Energy to do things you actually do. Find it in your local convenience store. And thanks to Campaign Monitor, again, when it comes to email marketing, so much more goes into creating smart and effective campaigns and what meets the eye.

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Again, campaignmonitor.com slash BS. Enjoy the weekend. Sal and I are back Monday, reacting to week one, guessing the lines for week two. Until then, enjoy football. I don't have.