The Bill Simmons Podcast - Brady’s Grisly Year, Mediocre QBpalooza, the Frisky Pats, and MLB Playoff Fixes With Cousin Sal
Episode Date: October 17, 2022The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Eagles rolling to 6-0 after defeating the Cowboys, struggling to identify the second-best team in the NFC, the Jets’ win over the P...ackers, Buccaneers-Steelers, Cardinals-Seahawks, “Panic Teams,” Bills-Chiefs, Ravens-Giants, and Patriots-Browns (2:02). Then, they guess the lines for NFL Week 7 (39:35), before checking in on the MLB playoffs (1:06:16). They close the show with Parent Corner (1:16:58). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, if you heard the over-under podcast we did with Priscilla and House on Tuesday,
you know that we love the Nuggets and the Bucks and the Kings. Well, FanDuel
is doing a little parlay boost. Bucks to win 50 plus games, Nuggets to win 50 plus games,
Kings to win 35 plus games. If you go to FanDuel, it has been boosted from plus 320 to plus 450.
All three have to win. Go check it out. This episode is brought to you by Prime Video.
You know me, I can't go a day without sports. I really can't. And now Monday nights are all
about hockey. That's right. There's a new exclusive home for streaming Monday night NHL
hockey. And it's on Prime. All season long, watch Prime Monday night hockey deliver unreal plays,
the biggest goals, can't miss moments. Matthews, McDavid, Crosby,
the NHL's best. They're all on Prime. Prime Monday Night Hockey. It's on Monday. It's on Prime.
This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite,
man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too.
Miller Lite keeps it simple for us. Undebatable quality, great taste. Picture this. It's game day.
All the gang's here. You're tailgating outside the stadium. It's a great time for beer.
Or how about when you're standing at the grill and the smell of sizzling burgers is in the air?
Moments like that. Or when you want a light beer that tastes like beer, that's delicious.
You don't want to load up on those heavier beers, and then you only have two of them. Then you feel
tired. Your stomach feels full. Miller Lite, it's your friend. It just accompanies whatever else
you're doing. You're super happy with it. Opening an ice cold Miller Lite can signal the beginning
of Miller time. Miller Lite is the light beer with all the great beer tastes we like.
90 calories per 355 mil can.
So why not grab some Miller Lites today?
Your game time tastes like Miller time.
Must be legal drinking age.
We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, our local sports podcast.
Three of the cities are humming right now.
We have Off the Pike with Brian Barrett.
That's Boston.
He covered the Pats today.
New York, New York with John Jastrzemski.
Yankees, Giants, Jets.
All big weekends for them.
And then the Ringer's Philly Special.
Shil Kapadia and Benjamin Solak talking Eagles.
They are 6-0.
Also, we cover any Philadelphia 76ers on that feed as well.
And then last but not least,
although last but not least in the standings,
the full go with Jason Goff.
Chicago sports, a little bit of a downturn with the Bears scene,
but the Bulls are starting.
The Bulls starting to look like a sneaky,
everybody forgot about us team.
So you can check out all those podcasts on the Ringer Podcast Network.
Coming up on the rewatchables on Monday night.
I'm not on this one either,
but we're doing a famous comedy from the 2000s.
That's the only hint I'll give you.
So stay tuned for that.
I will be on the Prestige TV podcast at some point this week
because I watched all seven episodes of The Watcher on Netflix.
I'll hold my thoughts.
You'll have to hear me in the Prestige pod. Coming up on this feed, on this podcast,
on this episode, The Cuz. Week six, NFL. Guess the lines. First, our friends Cousin Sal is here.
We're taping this a little after 8.30 on Sunday night.
He just watched his Cowboys lose to the Eagles.
The Eagles are down 6-0.
That sucked.
What? They are?
Yeah.
Well, I looked this up because right now you would say,
oh, after six weeks, Philadelphia, Buffalo, and then everyone else, right?
That would be the Super Bowl pick.
I looked up my notes from after week six in 2021. Who do you think our two teams were
that were the favorites after six weeks? Last year at this time?
Yeah. I'll give you a hint. Neither of them made the Super Bowl.
Oh, was it Cowboys and Patriots? No, we were pretty high on our dumb teams back then.
It was Arizona and Buffalo. Really?
I had my power poll that I did after week six, and those were was Arizona and Buffalo. Really? I had my power pull
that I did after week six, and those
were the co-favorites that I had after
six weeks. My point is,
it's freaking early. Philly fans,
you look great. You got an easy schedule
the rest of the way. You're probably going to be a one seed
unless something terrible happens, but
it's a long, long, long
season, and we've been here before. With that said...
Are you sure we weren't forecasting the best and the worst team of 2022?
Because that would make more sense with Buffalo and Arizona.
Yeah, I know.
That's a weird one.
Arizona was good to start the year last year.
Yeah, I know.
I actually think this was a bigger game tonight for Philly than Dallas.
What was your take as a Cowboys fan?
Because you at least had the, eh, Dak's not out there. We
play these guys again late in the season
and this is kind of a house money
game. We're six-point underdogs.
Nobody's really expecting us to win,
but they like our defense. But I felt
Phillies at home, they kind of had to take care of business.
Well, yes. In
general, this was more important, I thought, to Philly
even though they now have a two-and-a-half
game lead over us.
But four and two at this point without the starting quarterback,
and Dak Prescott is the starting quarterback, for God's sakes.
We saw Cooper Rush made a mad dash towards the end,
but he also had a drive where any single pass
could have been intercepted out of seven.
And really, let's please put that to rest.
I would have said before the game, it's Dak Prescott.
Like if you look at the metrics, he is a bottom five quarterback on passing downs,
Cooper Rush.
This has all been the defense.
It's always been a defense, but yes, I was excited.
I'm not excited, but I was like, yeah, this could be a throwaway game.
I think we could play tough because of our defense, but if we're two, four and two fine
going into Detroit and Chicago before the buy,
that's great.
Uh,
except they came back and made me think that we had a shot,
which always sucks.
There was a little Dick T's run there when it got to,
uh,
2017 and you had momentum,
you run the ball,
Lane Johnson's out.
Collins were doing the whole,
uh,
uh,
back.
They just have not been the same since Lane Johnson went out.
They run the montage.
And then Philly came right down and scored.
That was a great drive.
I got to give Philly credit.
That was a perfect, perfect drive.
They just ran over and sliced their way
all over us and scored
on the Brown pass there.
And then they missed the field goal.
Everybody who has plus six and plus seven
loses on that missed field goal.
So that sucked too. But otherwise
I'm happy with four and two. Well, you had
a couple of funny things there. One is the Eagles are up
nine. There's Diggs gets
a penalty for whipping his helmet off
15 yards and
Sirianni goes,
you know what? Let's
go for two. Let's go up
11 instead of 10. It's like, what?
You just want to be up two scores anyway.
Put that on the kickoff,
do some sort of high bloop kick,
try to pin them inside the 10.
No,
they go for two.
They don't get it.
So now it's nine.
And then instantly your mind goes to the line.
And some people had this at six,
right?
During the week.
And you think,
Oh,
and the over under,
over under is 44 and a half.
Oh,
good point.
The Cowboys could do the thing where they go down,
they kick the field goal,
they cut it to within a touchdown,
try the onside,
which is exactly what happened,
except he missed the 59-yarder.
But yeah, Sirianni was just really messing
with the Eagles things.
I really liked the Eagles tonight.
I ended up kind of breaking even for the day
because of the Buck-Stewars game,
which we'll talk about later.
But I just felt like this was
a pretty big spot. Like what you mentioned with Cooper
Rush, even though he was playing well,
if you really dug in on the stats, Warren
Sharp did some stuff on this this week about
just like the yards per attempt.
I think that's where I stole
my stat from, by the way. I think I
stole that from Warren Sharp.
Sorry, Sharp. Don't
sue me. Let me go to jail already. I'm sorry. Sorry, sharp. Don't sue me or two.
Yeah, let me go to jail already.
I can't take watching these games anymore.
But yeah,
the thing is,
when you play this team again in week 16,
they might have the one seed wrapped up at this point.
That's true.
That's true.
Yeah.
If it's anything like baseball playoffs,
you don't need to win the division.
You don't need to have the best record.
But I was thinking just in general,
like,
I don't know that they are going to be too many teams
with more than 11 wins or even 11 wins.
The Eagles, like you mentioned.
The Bills, like you mentioned.
Would you lock in anyone else at 11 wins?
They'll have the over-unders tomorrow
because they do that.
They're good about that.
But I think we're looking at mostly 8, 9, 7, 10 win teams
in the ranks of the 32.
Yeah, so I was looking at my notes last year and there was definitely like, we always call it the
Superbowl circle. Like how many teams do you think could actually win the Superbowl? And it's usually
somewhere between like six and eight. And after week six, we had seven teams that I had written
down. It was Arizona, Buffalo, Rams, Tampa, Dallas, Baltimore, and KC.
So since he's not even in there.
I bet
week 12 you wouldn't even have had Cincinnati.
Right. The other team that wasn't in there was
the Niners who came really close to beating the Rams
in that game. This
year I was looking at the circle.
Philly, Buffalo.
And then I'm going to ask
you two questions here.
One, who is the second best team in the NFC in your opinion right now?
Okay.
I'm not going to answer that one.
So what's the next one?
You should do the buy-in.
I'm not going to answer that.
Yeah.
Let's go on to the next question.
The Eagles are the best.
Who's the second best?
I hate every one of the Vikings wins,
but they're five and one.
I can't put them second. I can't. Well, the other five and one of the Vikings wins, but they're five and one. I can't put them second.
I can't.
Well, the other five and one is the Giants.
I respect what they're doing.
You can't put them second.
Are we talking about right now or who we think is going to get there?
Because I think the Rams will be the second best.
Oh, no.
The Rams?
I don't know.
What?
They play defense, at least.
They just lost their left tackle today.
Archie could probably start on the line for them this week.
Yeah, he's good. He probably could.
Yeah.
Well, who is it? Who do you have?
You don't have Tampa. You don't have Green Bay.
You're going to tell me the Falcons?
I wrote down Dallas and then Tampa.
And Tampa just lost to Kenny Pickett and Mitch Trubisky today.
But I still think they're a safer bet than any other team in the NFC for that three spot.
I think your team is the logical second best team just because they lost today.
It doesn't mean they're not the second best team in the conference.
Wow.
Yeah, because you got Dak coming back.
You got a good defense and you can run the ball.
And I watched football today with the fantasy football guys from the ring are Danny, Danny and Craig and Mina Kimes
and my friend Hershey.
And we were just talking about-
Is that the first time you met those guys?
No, I've met those guys.
We used to have an office.
Okay, all right.
I'm just being a dick.
Go ahead.
We were talking about this new trend this year
where they basically take away deep passes.
Every team is just like,
just,
just,
you know,
gal just to death,
four yards,
five yards,
six yards.
That's fine.
We just don't want to give up 30.
And I do wonder if the teams,
this is why I'm,
I continue to be bullish on my Patriots.
These teams with the running defense,
ball control,
game management recipe.
This might be a good year for that.
So I'm fine with that so i'm fine with that i'm fine with that and i absolutely think that's the biggest factor or one of the big factors leading to the low scores or some of these quarterbacks not putting up
numbers like but why can't the smartest quarterbacks figure that out why can't stafford
why can't brady why can't rogers fit why is it Mariota, um, you know, uh, profiting off of that new, you know,
whatever, why is it like Matt Ryan close to 400 yards?
It just, that stuff doesn't make sense to me.
Why the guys, why, why, why the Rogers can't adapt to the new system is beyond.
Well, let's go one at a time.
Good.
Rogers receivers.
He's clearly not comfortable.
Like I was looking at, uh. I was looking at their stats.
They don't have a receiver of 300 yards yet.
They've put six games.
They've scored 14 points or less in three of the six.
There was some stat about how he's never had this few
kind of scoring points the whole thing through six games.
I just don't think he trusts his receivers yet,
whether that's going to happen.
The one thing is it doesn't seem like Watson's going to help them this year.
I mean, Watson has like seven catches for like 50 yards this year.
I think you're right about all of it.
Like, you know, Dobbs and all these guys who show, you know, flashes.
I don't even want to say brilliance, but what gets me is Rodgers.
Does he care?
Kyle, put the TikTok camera on.
Kyle, turn it on. Turn it it on because I don't know if
he cares or maybe ayahuasca is this wonder drug that just mellows you out to no end because I
don't think he cares. That's obviously the thing here that he doesn't have pass catchers he can
rely on, but he's not screaming at his offensive line like Tom Brady is. And he's like, oh, well,
all right, we can't score in London. We can't score in Lambeau.
We're losing to the Giants and Jets.
These are all very embarrassing things.
But it doesn't seem to matter to him.
Why is he so mellow?
I don't know.
Maybe he's easing his way into the air.
Well, they lost Cobb today, too,
who is his little safety blanket.
So we've lost Randall Cobb,
Julio Jones, I guess we've lost.
A.J. Green, we're about to lose. All these
older receivers who, it's
like old receivers and pass rushers.
We're like, oh, the Bucs
signed Julio Jones. Whoa.
And it's like these guys can never
make it for four months. I think with Rodgers...
Maybe that's why the Rams are reluctant to give,
you know, back up the truck for Odell
Beckham, but they need something too.
All the quarterbacks you mentioned, Rodgers, I think it's his receivers.
Stafford, they have the worst running backs,
probably out of the 32 teams.
I mean, now it looks like Kim Akers is never going to play for them again.
They were mixing up Daryl Henderson, Malcolm Brown,
some dude named Rivers from the practice squad.
All of them look like below average.
You would never pick any of them up in a fantasy league.
But then the offensive line has been decimated.
Like they just keep losing guys.
And I don't think that Carolina team, you know,
you got Robbie Anderson fighting with his coach,
coaches of the side that basically send them home in Antonio Brown style.
Yeah, we'll never see him again.
Now the Panthers, I think, will probably be a sell team.
But yeah, so the Ramsey offensive line.
And then Brady, combo of,
it doesn't seem like he's had enough reps with the receivers yet.
The line, as we saw with him screaming at them during the timeout,
I don't think he wants to get hit anymore.
And I feel like the Rodgers thing and the Brady thing is similar.
Both of these guys,
I don't know whether they're kind of saving it for the last half of the
season,
but just eye test,
he's getting rid of the ball.
I would say a half to a full second faster than he needs to.
He's not holding it for that extra.
I'm going to get killed,
but I'm going to wait.
He's just not,
he's just getting rid of it.
And he doesn't look like Brady. And I think he's getting frustrated at everybody else, but
he doesn't practice on Wednesdays. He fucking went to Bob Craft's wedding on Friday night in
New York City. I didn't think he wanted to do that either.
They have a game on Sunday. Right.
Why is he in New York City on Friday night? That's insane. He's supposed to be the leader
of the team. He's got all the rules are different for him. He missed preseason for 10 days.
Like football is supposed to be this team sport where everybody's
on the same side. Nobody's bigger than the
team. He's acted like he's bigger than
the team for 10 months. He got his coach fired.
All the shit he's doing. I think
it's an embarrassing year for him. I really do.
It's one thing. I think it is too.
It's one thing to leave
your team in the preseason and then that
just pisses off potentially some of your teammates
but to skip a
walkthrough on Saturday and then
the Steelers find out about this now you're giving
other teams bulletin board material
right so now you're pissing off everybody
yeah this is
embarrassment yeah you know who wasn't
at Bob Craft's wedding on Friday night Bailey
fucking Zappy oh yeah
yeah you know where he was in his hotel room studying for the Browns stop who wasn't at Bob Craft's wedding on Friday night? Bailey fucking Zappy. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
You know where he was?
In his hotel room studying for the Browns. Stop it.
That's the next Tom Brady right there.
Stop this.
Yeah.
2001 Tom Brady's in his hotel room studying for the Browns.
This is crazy talk.
I'm just telling you.
You beat the Browns.
It's fine.
Who do you think regrets more?
Brady just coming back
or Rodgers
loading up with this giant Green Bay
contract that now made them trade
Adams and now his team
clearly doesn't have it.
I'll do you one better. Are we sure
either one of those was ever
good? Brady or Rodgers?
Maybe I took it too far.
All right. No.
I think Rodgers right now regrets it, but I think Brady I'm trying to think of, it's funny because I was thinking, what if he went to the Dolphins?
Now they've had four quarterbacks hurt in four consecutive weeks, which is just unheard of.
The starter goes out, but I think he's bummed.
He went, came back to Tampa Bay after all that.
I think he's got Miami.
Yeah.
Yeah. I think he is too. I think there's bummed he came back to Tampa Bay after all that. I think he is too. Could have gone Miami. Yeah. Yeah, I think he is too.
I think there's real regret.
He's got a lot of personal life shit going.
And the irony of the whole thing is Tampa is probably either the second or third best team in the NFC.
And as we see year after year, it matters where you are around Thanksgiving.
It doesn't really matter where you are now.
Where it does matter is our wallets.
Because you and I had the B had the bucks and rightfully so.
Just thrown into parlays and teasers.
It's like, all right, they actually need to win the game.
They're favored by 10 against this decimated Steelers team
who's playing Pickett.
Then we get the gift of Pickett gets hurt during the game.
Not a gift.
We opened it up.
It was a turn.
And Mitch comes in.
Yeah.
Yeah, Mitch comes in.
Mitch is completing third and 14s over the middle.
He's throwing dimes to chase Claypool to extend drives.
He's running around.
It's like, what the hell is going on?
I'm going to lose to Mitch Trubisky?
I did.
And they killed the clock.
And the Steelers had like three important, forget about Watt. He's out, but three other like important players out
you know, Fitzpatrick and others and that's what I thought. I was like, all right
Tampa's offense is going to get right again. No, never happened. I mean
really when you look at it like Stafford didn't it ended up winning
because Panthers can't play four quarters of football, but you know when
Stafford Brady and Rogers can't put up a touchdown
in the first half of either of their games,
I was looking at these numbers here.
Look at these winning numbers.
Geno Smith, 197 yards.
Kirk Cousins, 175.
Daniel Jones, 173.
Jalen Hurts, 155.
155.
I think they had like 268 yards of offense.
Trubisky, 144. Mariota, 129.
Zach Wilson, 110.
These are all winners today.
Crazy.
I want to talk about that
QB stuff after the break because I think
it's absolutely crucial.
Carson Wentz, 99.
To try to understand this season, you almost have to
look through the quarterbacks. I think
the thing that is the most shocking to me, because Solak and I did a whole thing
about the end of a QB generation on Thursday's pod.
We were talking about Brady Rogers.
You see the finish line now with these guys.
Stafford, you can kind of see it.
Matt Ryan, he's over the finish line.
You go through everybody.
We're moving to this new era.
Matt Ryan played the best of anybody today.
Matt Ryan was awesome in the Jacksonville game.
There's another one I lost where he reached back.
Matt Ryan played better than Rogers,
Brady or Stafford.
And I did not expect it either.
Let's take a quick break.
And then I want to talk more about the quarterbacks.
This episode is brought to you by Movember.
The mustache is back with a vengeance.
Look at Travis Kelsey. Before
he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember.
You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support
mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't
want to grow a mustache, you could still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way.
Do great things this November. Sign up now. Just search Movember.
When you ride transit, please be safe.
Yeah, be safe.
Because what you do, others will do too.
Others will do it too.
So don't take shortcuts across tracks.
Don't do that.
In fact, just don't walk on tracks
at all. Not at all. Trains move quietly
so you won't hear them coming. You won't hear
them coming. See? Safe riding sets
an example. Yeah, an example for me.
Because safety is learned. It's
learned. Okay, give it up. Give what up?
Really? Really, really.
This message is brought to you by
Metrolinks.
Okay, so you mentioned this before the break. Quarterbacks who won today, Mariota, Zappi, Geno, Dimes,
washed Matt Ryan, and we had a picket-trabisky combo.
We had four upsets.
The Giants were plus 200.
Jets plus 280.
Falcons plus 175.
Steelers plus 200. Jets plus 280. Falcons plus 175. Steelers plus 360.
One of the old, old, old things you could always bank on
was you could always bet against bad QBs.
It's fine.
You know, good team against a bad QB.
Throw them in a tease.
Throw them in a parlay.
Don't worry about it.
I think it's over. I don't think there's any rhyme or reason in a tease. Throw them in a parlay. Don't worry about it. I think it's over.
I don't think there's any rhyme or reason in this anymore.
Mariota was like, what was he like?
13 out of 14 today?
Completions?
Yeah.
Well, you can't get out of it.
You can't find the bad QB is the problem.
They're all about the same, right?
I mean, the bad QB is Aaron Rodgers.
And QB is, I don't know.
All right.
You want to say PJ Walker?
That's fine. Even he was 10 for 16. But yeah, these numbers't know. All right, you want to say PJ Walker? That's fine.
Even he was 10 for 16.
But yeah, these numbers are insane.
You're right.
What was Mariota?
13 for 14?
Is that what you said?
Yeah, I think it was.
And Trevor Lawrence was 20 for 22,
but they lost.
That was some really weird numbers
on the board.
Yeah, Trevor Lawrence.
That's a team.
So my fear,
I really liked the Jags today.
And my fear was the coaching where the Colts just have the tendency to pull shit out of their assholes.
And the Jaguars had this tendency to just shoot themselves in the foot, right?
So the Jags are in control for two and a half quarters.
It's like fourth and one.
Of course, they're going to go for it because Peterson is classic.
Oh, we got to go.
We're aggressive.
Aggressive analytics.
He's a practitioner.
And they run the option with Lawrence.
They run an actual college option play,
which of course gets stuffed.
The game flips.
Ryan gets hot.
And all of a sudden,
they lose to the Jack.
We see this over and over again
with these dumbass calls.
This pseudo-aggressiveness
that over and over again just backfires on these
teams. I don't get it. I don't understand it. Like the Cardinals today, they passed up field
goals twice. And so, oh, fourth and four got Kyler. And it's 9-3 instead of 9-9. It's like,
well, how did that work out for you? And why do you trust your completely erratic quarterback on
any fourth and four? I don't trust them to get four yards ever.
They're so bad.
And I know their running game is not anything special now with Connor.
And maybe it was smoke and mirrors with him anyway.
But I don't.
And New Hopkins comes back next week.
I don't even think it matters.
I don't think they'll play tough against teams.
But there's going to be every two or three weeks.
They're going to put up a stinker like they did at Seattle there.
And Kyle is going to be no help.
And we got sacked six times.
And some weren't even his fault.
It's crazy.
They're 2-4 for the season.
They're minus 28.
In the first half,
they have not led in a single first half this season at halftime.
They're 0-6. In the first half this season at halftime. They're 0 for 6.
In the first halves this year, one touchdown, 29 points.
That was one of my bets this week.
Seattle first half, plus 0.5.
Why not bet against Arizona every single first half
until they figure it out?
Smart.
Smart.
Bet in the AFC South, dumb.
But bet in Seattle plus a half smart I think
the combo of
you get slaughtered
in the Rams playoff game right
that was about as bad disjointed
disorienting
name a sad word
it just couldn't have gone worse
and you come out of that game
and my questions were like wait
what's going on with Kyler Murray?
Is this somebody I can actually win playoff games with?
And what's going on with Cliff Kingsbury?
Is this a coach you can actually win with
two years in a row? They just go
nosedive.
What do they do? They give Cliff an extension
and they give Kyler a massive
contract. And now it's like
on Twitter, it was Fire Cliff
was trending.
Kyler's talented.
I don't know if that guy's ever going to
be somebody that wins like three playoff
games in a row. I think he's really,
really, really erratic. So I
don't know if you're a Cardinals fan. You don't even have
really any outs. You could fire Kingsbury.
And you can fire
him because that's the one thing that
the Matt Rule thing proved right
we've seen it before like they said goodbye to 42 million dollars it doesn't count against your cap
if you fire a coach right so you just have these billionaire owners like all right well I want to
win I don't want to be saddled with this guy's not counting against my cap I'm going to get rid of
Kingsbury even though I gave him a four-year extension because one thing that's obvious is
he's not getting the most out of Kyle
Amari.
He just isn't at this point.
Or how about game planning?
When you go into halftime losing six games in a row, that has to mean
something.
Yeah.
He's got that gigantic board, that laminated board in front of him.
It really looks like a poster board you'd bring to school in sixth grade
to put your project
on the Incan ruins on
or something. And yet, there's
not a play in there that works. The only
thing that works is the
improvising
by Kyla Murray. I know that word somewhere.
Yeah, I was thinking of the panic
teams.
Green Bay, 3-3.
We talked about them. Arizona's 2-4.
These are teams that I think at least
some to most people thought
were going to be good. Tampa Bay,
3-3.
And then Kansas City, I'm throwing in there, 4-2
only because I think this was a really
bad week for them. And we didn't talk about that
Bills game yet.
They should have lost the Vegas game.
They had a lot of trouble covering
Vegas. I thought Vegas shot themselves in the
foot. That was another weird
coaching game. But for the most part,
I thought Vegas outplayed them.
And I thought talent-wise, we're at
least even with them and maybe been a tiny bit
better. When you say Vegas
shot themselves in the foot, I have to scroll through
the team news because that could be
right out. I have no idea what that place is.
I didn't mean that literally. Hypothetically.
But then this Buffalo game
just
felt like... I know the
final score was close, but I didn't think Buffalo
played well and they just made plays when they needed
to, but I never really
doubted that Buffalo was going to make a run there.
I like where they are compared
to KC. That was my takeaway.
Compared to Buffalo, you mean?
Yeah, I just think, I think if
they played 10 times, I think
Buffalo wins eight.
I agree. But this is one of the teams I'm
talking about where I don't think they get to 11 or
12 wins. Like, I'm not sure who,
right? So you got the Bills who we
say should run away with everything, even
though you at dinner the other day,
try to convince me that there's a sprained ankle away.
The Patriots are from.
I said,
Pat's 24 to one in the AFC East.
Was that wrong?
Yeah.
You're wrong.
They're going to lose that.
Yeah.
If you want to lose money,
that's fine.
But 24 to one,
that's like the all time long shot.
Is it still 24?
It's just,
I'll look at it now.
Keep,
keep talking.
All right.
No,
I don't,
I don't have much to say other than I don't think I put them in the panic
because they're going to win that division at 10-7.
I mean, the Chargers don't impress me.
Broncos are garbage.
And the Raiders, who I think are good, can't get out of their own way.
So they're not going to get to 8-9-10 wins.
So I think the Chiefs could, Andy Reid could kind of like lay off the gas a little
and still go 10-7 and take this.
Pats are down to 17-1, just for the record.
Here's where I would push back
on my 20-year-old friend Cousin Sal.
Something's different about the Chiefs, and how I knew
it was when they got the ball back with a minute 10 left,
I didn't think they were going to score.
And I just felt like it's too many yards.
It's not enough time.
And Kelsey's the only guy on this team that I actually trust.
And you could double team him and make them move down the field.
And I don't think the chiefs can do it.
We had for three straight years when the chiefs were down in any game,
you would text me and house and hands.
And you'd be like, chiefs plus one 30, you would text me and House and Hatch and you'd be
like, Chiefs plus 130. We always felt like they were coming back. They had a real identity.
I supported the Tyreek trade. I got it. I thought it was something, I don't think you can pay Mahomes
and Tyreek that much money together. I get it. I got the philosophy behind it. I was in, I picked
the Chiefs to win the Superbowl. I thought push comes to shove. Mahomes is so great.
He'll make everything work. But then
it's like you look at Sky Moore going over the
middle and he's late
and Mahomes' pass is late and there's two
guys there and it's just like that shit wasn't happening last
year. So I would actually be concerned
if I'm a Chiefs fan. But only
against the Bills, right? You'd be concerned
down three with a minute and a
half left against anyone else? Down four?
Well, last week against Vegas,
Vegas fucks up.
They go for two.
Because of aggressive analytics, the new trend
in the world. And Casey gets
the ball back and it's like, alright, two first downs,
this game over. What happened? Three and out. They punted.
It's not the same offense.
See, that's where you and I disagree because they're just
killing it. They've always had a tough
time running the ball, whether
it's McKinnon or Clyde Edwards-Alaire or
whatever, but they were down one, so they
didn't need the first down. But, I don't
know. He had 338 yards passing. He had
second most passing yards in the league today.
That's fine. Did you think he was going to score?
No, but only because of the bills.
Did you think he was going to get it? No, but because
it was the billsills any other team
I would say
I wouldn't panic
because I would think
they'd be a favorite
to score
one of the things
with the Tyreek thing
and this was the narrative
we were fed
the whole offseason
was they were going to
be able to run the ball
control the clock
more play action
it was going to open up
more of the offense
I haven't seen it
I just
whatever we were promised
in the offseason.
They're middle of the pack.
They're like 16th on the run game.
We change our mind on the Chiefs three times a year.
And then at the end of the year, they're like 11-5 or 12-6.
Well, remember their record last year?
They're 3-4 after seven games last year.
I think what worries me this year is it feels like
if you can actually just double Kelsey and take him out,
I'm not positive what plan
B is. I guess I'm more
concerned than you are.
With
Green Bay,
I'm not writing them
off yet because maybe the receivers thing
will get better. I still kind of like their defense,
but that Jets
game was...
To lose to the Giants and the Jets back,
that feels like a cry for
help.
Like when was the last time anyone lost to those two teams in a row?
I would,
I was going to take that stance,
but the Jets are better than them.
They are.
The Jets are better.
They did some of that more talent.
I agree.
Almost,
almost everywhere,
right?
Defensively harder hitters.
Um,
they get to the ball faster.
Uh,
they have a great run game.
Uh, all right. Well,
Zach Wilson, I don't know. Maybe that's a wash at this point. Zach Wilson and Aaron
Rogers, even though he's just hovering around
100 yards. Zach Wilson was bad in that game.
Yeah, it was 10 of 18. Yeah, he wasn't
that good, but he didn't need to be. That's the
offense that Rogers needs, right?
Brees Hall looks like
they hit jackpot with that.
It's like in general, it looks like they nailed the draft.
New York football is down nine and three.
The Giants game, they come back from, what were they, 10 down?
Yeah.
Like I would have thought the Giants were one of those teams,
like as long as it's a three-point game or they have the lead, they're fine.
If they're behind, no way.
Well, we learned that
wasn't true. Saquon comes out
of the game, his shoulder's dangling. It's like,
oh man, all right, here we go. Saquon's there.
No, comes back in. They get a touchdown.
They harass Lamar.
It was a nice little revenge game for Wick
Martindale. That team's frisky,
man. You look at their schedule,
it really seems like 11-6 is
possible, which is i took them
well here's the one thing we'll go over the lines in a second 11 and 6 is possible i had them like
eight nine before the year i was a believer in the giants but there's also they could lose every
single game and i'm surprised by their line but we'll go over it in a second but uh they could
lose every single game but definitely definitely, definitely some cupcakes on there.
Five and one.
This team's five and one.
You know who they remind me of is what Tennessee did last year,
where it didn't totally make sense.
You felt like every week they were going to lose.
They were built around their running back and kind of the running game, the whole thing.
And then Henry goes out, and they kind of kept it going,
and it didn't really make a lot of sense.
Yeah.
But they're around. They're really well coached and i would say being well coached is a
bigger advantage than maybe it's ever been these days i think that's been one of the things with
the patriots too the patriots i told you the the green bay game two weeks ago i told you i thought
i saw something in that game they beat detroit last week. Whatever. It's Detroit.
This week,
they beat the hell out of Cleveland.
And now people go,
yeah, but it's Cleveland.
It's like now Cleveland was A, favored.
B,
the one thing they could do
is run the ball really well.
The Pats shut that down completely.
They made plays.
Their defense is really fast.
And Ramondre has emerged.
I mean, he's one of the best
running backs on the tvs
every week he really is you know i have him on my fantasy team if you'd like to trade for him i
tried yeah tried well you wanted you wanted him for chase for remandre and waddle which i think
would have been a good but chase went nuts today i'm glad i know now it's well who's your other
good receiver well just, Justin Jefferson.
I'm not... I can't trade him.
No, listen.
I was going to make that trade,
but then you traded...
Then you were going to give me
A.J. Smith, right?
Or A.J. Brown.
I was going to give you
Devonta Smith, yeah.
Devonta Smith?
Oh, Devonta.
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't want to root for him.
And after you lose hard...
I was going to make the trade.
To be dead honest with you,
I was going to make the trade,
and then we went to dinner,
and we're at a steakhouse, and it came time to order dessert. And everyone did the thing like,
oh no, no, I'm not getting dessert. And like someone broke me and said, oh, let's just get
one of each. And then you're like, no, no, no, I'm getting my own dessert, banana cream pie.
I was like, no, let's just split three. You're like, no, I don't want to split. It's a steakhouse,
just split dessert. So you were very selfish. I split my dessert. And then I didn't make, no, I don't want to split. It's a steakhouse. You split dessert. So you've heard my dessert.
And then I didn't make the trade.
I didn't trade.
I didn't make the trade.
No,
you saw how big it was.
And you're like,
you know what?
You could take it.
You could have some of this after.
I was like,
no,
I think my hot take is it's gross to split desserts.
What are not dessert?
I didn't want some of your steak.
We're at a steak house.
It's the end of the night.
You get desserts and you get a taste of everybody.
It's like,
it's everybody's got their spit all over their spoons.
They're putting the spoons back in.
All the spoons are touching.
We might as well make out.
You know what?
I made out with Ramondre this weekend and you didn't.
He's on my team.
He is great.
My team's good, Sal.
I'm telling you.
They hit this draft, this 2022 draft,
combined with getting Mack and Ramondre and Barmore in the last draft.
This is what has not happened for this team in years,
where they just actually hit two drafts.
They got two cornerbacks.
They got Zappi, who at the very least is a competent quarterback.
Taequann Thornton, did you see him today?
He finally unleashed him.
He was really good.
And then Cole Strange, everybody made fun of him.
And that guy's out there just blocking everybody.
I think this Pats team is good.
I think Belichick knows it too.
What happens?
What happens?
I get their old school confidence with him again.
Is it Zappy hour when Matt comes back or no?
Kyle, turn the camera on.
Turn it off.
What are you going to do about this?
I think Zappy's good
I think he's legit good
with that said
if they had used Mac
the way they're using Zappy now
and Mac had allowed that to happen
I think Mac would have been
just as good
the key is
how do you get Mac
to game manage
like what Zappy's doing
put him in positions
to succeed
not be Joe Burrow
but just keep the game
fucking moving throw to your tight
ends, throw little screens,
and don't make mistakes.
Mac killed us. He cost them two wins
in the first three weeks. Zappy doesn't
make mistakes. And I'll tell you this,
if Belichick feels like
Mac isn't going to
game manage and not
make mistakes, and that's not the number one
priority, he'll keep playing Zappy. He doesn't care.
He benched Bledsoe right after
our $100 million contract. He doesn't care.
He's going to do whatever is best for the team.
I think it's going to be Mack.
Because this would be the exact conversation
I would have with fellow Cowboys fans
before tonight's game about
Mack Jones
and about Cooper Rush
and Dak Prescott.
I would say Cooper Rush
doesn't make mistakes and we have a great
defense and that's all that matters.
At some point...
But what is it about...
Cooper Rush had like 111 yards
passing. At some point
if you carry a rabbit's foot and you
don't do anything else but this rabbit's
foot is good luck, do you leave it in just because you have good luck?
Or do you just go with the pedigree quarterback
who you know could take you further?
That's why you have to put Mac Jones in.
So I agree with you, but Zappi was really good the last two weeks.
All right.
And he had poise.
The bigger thing for me is the poise.
It's like a couple weeks ago, I asked Rosillo and Van.
We were texting about college football because I know nothing about college football.
And I was like, I don't get this Bryce Young thing.
He seems too small to me.
I don't see it.
Like, how is this guy going to be the number one pick?
He seems even smaller than Kyle.
I don't get it.
And Rosillo said, watch his poise.
When you watch Alabama, just watch how fucking calm he is.
And no matter what the situation is,
he's the calmest guy.
So I watched that and I was like,
after I watched enough of it
and I watched the game Saturday too,
it's like, I get it.
The poise, that's the most important thing.
He took 75 hits
and still had a good shot to win the game.
Zappy has poise
and he does make throws
and he is accurate. And I think he's pretty good.
So at the worst case scenario, at least he's an asset, but I do think it's going to be Mac's job.
I will tell you this though, in Boston, like my dad's already, he's out. He's like, it's Zappy
time. So Mac Pack, trade him to Carolina. He's ready to turn the team over. I still like Mac
and I think they made it too complicated for him.
Yeah.
Kyle, will you do me a favor
and isolate the audio where Sports Guy says,
Zappy has poise.
And we may never use it again,
but I do think it could be fun down the road at some point.
Such a dick.
Let's take a break.
All right. Before we do week seven lines,
I have the unconventional winners of 2022 for you.
So far through six weeks.
This is not like Josh Allen.
I'm giving you randos.
Remind you of Stevenson.
We mentioned him.
Belichick has not used a running back like this since Corey Dillon.
Where he's just like, here are the car keys, take us home.
This has not happened in 18 years.
Remondre has been absolutely incredible this season.
He's a winner.
Fourth round pick, plus if you have him on your fantasy team,
that's like a flip.
That's a flip the fantasy season guy.
Yeah, it is.
Dayball is an absolute winner this season.
When you think like all these crappy coaches
that get hired, this guy has completely changed
not only what we're seeing on the field,
but the demeanor of the Giants. They show him the
sidelines. He seems like somebody that
would be friends with Brother Brian
Harry and Darren.
Doesn't he?
He'd be wearing like a Giants windbreaker and eating like a 64-ounce veal Darren. Yes. Doesn't he? Yeah, yeah. He'd be wearing like a Giants windbreaker
and eating like a 64-ounce veal chop.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But that's the best Giants coach.
He'd probably share his dessert.
I guarantee he'd share his dessert.
Geno Smith, age 32,
who's now better than Russell Wilson
and is super competent week after week
and keeps game-managing games.
I have him as a winner.
Roseman, the Eagles GM. Russell Wilson and is super competent week after week and keeps game managing games. I have him as a winner. Uh,
Roseman,
the Eagles GM,
they win the super bowl.
And four years later,
all of a sudden he has this super talented team again.
Impressive.
Washed up Matt Ryan.
I had the shovel in the dirt for him.
And that guy said three comeback wins.
Two of them were dubious,
but they counted.
And then today was a legitimate one.
And it really does seem like his team believes in him.
And he's like, I'm just throwing the pitman every time.
Are you going to cover him?
You're not?
I'm going to throw to him again.
And they're 3-2-1.
They looked like they were dead in the AFC South,
but at least he's better than Wentz.
So that was a winner.
Billionaire Arthur Smith, 6-0 against the spread.
Did you see that? And in
first place. And in first place.
So I had Carolina as
the, I think that's going to be the fucked up team
that makes the playoffs. It looks like it's going to be Atlanta.
Yeah. Or the Giants. I guess maybe
we'll have two.
Matt Patricia took
an incredible amount of shit this whole offseason.
Oh my God.
This moron's going to be our offensive coordinator.
The game plan they ran today was great.
He deserves praise.
And then last but not least for unconventional winners, Jets fans.
I was just going to say, you got to give the Jets something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Multiple Jets fans emailed me today.
Like, we killed the draft.
Like, when was the last time Jets fans were excited about how they did in a draft
and who's on their team and the fact that
they actually have talent
I guess the message is
if you draft in the top
10 for 7 straight years you're going to end up
with some talent but when you have 2 picks
in the top 12 yeah for sure
one of them is probably going to be running away with a
cheese head after a game at some point
yeah sauce is good I don't know if I'd add anyone to that maybe Daniel Snyder One of them is probably going to be running away with a cheese head after a game at some point. Yeah.
Yeah.
Sauce is good.
I don't know if I'd add anyone to that.
Maybe Daniel Snyder.
He seems to win.
I think he's got the league.
Yeah.
He's got the league dead to rights.
He's a big winner.
He wins to everyone's chagrin.
Let's dig into the Lions because I want to talk baseball at the end because I have a couple of baseball thoughts.
Okay.
So this is week seven. What are the records? What do we got? I have a couple of baseball thoughts. Okay, so this is week seven. What are
the records? What do we got? I have it
here. I won by virtue of a house
jumping in there. 2-2-2.
I did need a house. You need a drunk house.
Two wins, two losses, two ties. Week seven.
Thursday night.
Got the Cardinals
on Thursday night.
It's getting a little better.
This could be
a Kingsbury last stand game.
I was looking at both
these teams.
Not that the coach is going to get fired for
New Orleans, but it could be a loser leaves town
playoff-wise.
Yeah, that was a tough loss. The Saints
seem like they were in control that whole game.
I had for underdog parlay, I had Giants-Saints
and Giants-Seahawks.
Bengals ended up coming back.
Andy Dolan was another one with 160 yards that could have won the game.
Yeah.
So this game's in Arizona, which I think is great
because I think if anything goes wrong, the Boo Birds are going to come out.
Right.
I think it's a three-point line.
I got cards by three.
That's exactly what I had.
It's only two.
Not trusting Arizona,
Vegas just yet.
What a weird situation.
Yeah.
I mean, no outs
with that quarterback.
Would you want to trade for him?
Would you be excited?
Would you trade Dak Prescott
for Kyler Murray
at the contract?
I don't think so.
I don't know. People are getting excited about Hopkins? I don't think so. I don't know.
People are getting excited about Hopkins coming back.
I'm like, I don't know that there's a receiver that helps that guy.
Now, Marquise Brown went down also, right?
So, they have to have something.
But no, no, I'm big on homework.
Sunday marquee game.
I don't have one.
We should mention the Bills, the Rams, the Vikings, and Eagles are off.
That's a rough, rough buy quad there.
And really run for fantasy.
There's going to be some dudes starting this week.
Yeah, there's no great game.
This was, should we call this the official pumpkin patch week?
Apple picking?
Yeah.
Apple picking.
Is this it?
I think this is it.
We're getting close, right?
It's the 16th. It'll be the 23rd next week. Yeah, this picking. Is this it? I think this is it. We're getting close, right? It's the 16th.
It'll be the 23rd next week.
Yeah, this has got to be it.
Yeah, my daughter's got a Sunday morning soccer game.
There's a 100% chance I'm going because I don't know what I'm missing out of these early games.
I don't think there's a marquee game.
I have three watchables.
First one is Bengals Falcons.
The Falcons every week are just an entertaining games.
Just over and over again.
Something's fun.
And the fourth quarter is always fun.
The Bengals three and three,
three and three or three.
What's the record?
Three and three.
All teams three and three.
Yeah.
It's like a pretty rocky three and three.
Really?
It feels like they clawed their way three and three.
I would say Rocky five. Rocky five. Yeah. It feels like they clawed their way three and three. I would say Rocky five.
Rocky five.
Yeah, Rocky five.
Yeah, but the only thing I'll say is
Chase did this last year, right?
Where he broke out
and then he just kept going.
Yeah, like seven straight games
where he broke out.
So maybe they're there.
And Higgins came back today.
I have the Bengals by five and a half
at home against Atlanta. All right, I'm going to get this. I have the Bengals by five and a half at home against Atlanta.
All right, I'm going to get this.
I said seven.
It's six and a half.
Okay.
This is a team that always covers Atlanta.
Well, it's getting silly now.
Because I was going to bet them today,
and I heard they were five and oh,
which had only happened like twice in the last 10 years
against the spread.
So I'm like, all right,
can't remember a 6-0.
Right. So they're going to go
7-0 against the spread?
It looks like it, yes.
Probably. You're taking the focus.
I don't know. I mean, Mariota, I think I
came on last week. I was like, he's good for
one mistake and that'll lose him a game, but they'll
cover and maybe he doesn't even
make mistakes anymore.
Such a weird team.
It's really sad that
both the leagues we're in, Pitts went for around
the same price as Kelsey.
And it got to the point today where he
scored a touchdown. I think he was as surprised
as we were. He was celebrating
like he was the left guard who caught
the one-yard play-action pass.
It was like, I spent $30 on you.
Please don't be this excited for your first
touchdown. Please get going,
Kyle Pitts, for the love of God.
Next game, it's in LA.
Chargers-Seahawks.
What do we think for
Seahawks fans of this game?
40%? Oh, how many?
40%? Yeah, there's a lot
out here. Yeah, there's a lot out here.
Yeah, there really is.
Our friend Tall John will be there.
I know a few, actually.
Yeah.
Yeah, 30%, 35, 40, right in there.
Tall John will be there with his extra large jersey that only goes to his belly button?
Exactly.
And no one takes up seven seats anyway.
I mean, he's not a fat man, but he's very, very tall.
Tall John, one of the great nicknames.
Yeah. He's not going to shed at any time soon. he's very, very tall. Tall John, one of the great nicknames. Yeah.
He's not going to shed at any time soon.
He's like six foot eight for the people listening at home.
He's tall and his name's John. So his nickname became Tall John. That's how it works.
Although his nickname became Tall. Nobody even called him John. They just called him Tall.
Yeah. It was Tall. It wasn't TJ. It wasn't anything. And I wonder if osteoporosis sets
in, if we'll ever have to change it,
but it'll always be tall Judd.
Used to be tall Judd.
Yeah.
We get in trouble
talking about our friends.
I was just thinking that too.
I'm not even going to mention him.
I'm not mentioning him.
I'm not mentioning him.
I'm not mentioning him.
I'm not mentioning him.
Yeah.
Not mentioning him.
Relationships have been ruined
because of this podcast.
Not saying anything.
Talk to Bill's publicist
if you have any problems
with him talking about him.
Oh, no.
Chargers, home for the Seahawks, and I don't think this gets to seven.
So I'm going to say Chargers by six.
All right, that's what I said.
I'm glad you didn't say six and a half because that's what the answer is.
I know the hammer will drop on Seattle,
but I don't trust the Chargers ever
giving this many points. I don't care
what's going on.
Do you think every front office had
at least one... How many guys are in a
front office? Between 15,
20 men and women who work for
the decision-making?
Every team had to have one person
who presented a Geno Smith case, right?
Like, here's Geno Smith.
If you look at the times he's played,
I actually, I had our stats guys run this model,
and here's who he could be,
and he's kind of like,
I think he could be like kind of a poor man's Lamar,
maybe even a little better than that.
And here's the case.
No one's listening at that point.
He could be at our quarter.
We get our quarterback for two million.
And this person's just laughed out of the room.
In 31 teams.
Did you list him as a winner or the Seattle?
I did.
I listed Gino.
Yeah.
75% completion, over 1300 yards, nine touchdowns, two interceptions.
You can't ask for more than that out of that guy.
I got to be honest.
I didn't realize how complicated the Russell
Wilson Seahawks fan thing was.
The fans,
they liked the winning
that he brought to the team, but they didn't really
enjoy a lot of the Russell Wilson experience.
And I think it was like
having the family member
that you have to pretend you like at Thanksgiving
and Easter and Christmas, but you really don't
like them. But it's like, hey,
Uncle So-and-so, hey, how are you?
But deep down, you're like, I
fucking hate this guy. And
now that's all coming out with
the Wilson trade. And
everyone's animosity is
trickling out. Plus, Gino is really
fun to watch. And Gino
kind of runs that offense the way
they really wanted Russ to run it the last couple years.
Because I got so few things right in the preseason, I'd like
to brag about this. I didn't think he'd be that good,
Russell Wilson. I didn't think he'd be this bad. But I was also like, oh my god.
Everyone's like, oh, what a great situation he's getting into going to
Denver. Oh, Jerry, Judy Judy and Cortland Sutton.
Didn't people like Lockett and Metcalf?
Don't they like those guys?
What's wrong with them?
Remember them going for a lot of money in fantasy drafts.
Yeah.
He doesn't run the ball.
Anyone who watches, anyone who's at him on fantasy knows that there's no two or three
design plays for him anymore.
So he's just like anyone else at this point.
Except 35.
I think with quarterbacks, baseball
closers,
and hockey goalies
are probably the three where the next
guy, the second wife syndrome, steps
in. Where if the next
guy is remotely good, but
you didn't really like the last guy, you really
love the second guy. Isn't
this great? Oh man, we just went on vacation. We didn't really like the last guy. You really love the second. Isn't this great? Oh man,
we just went on vacation.
We didn't fight once.
She's so nice.
I just had a great time.
And that,
that feels like this Gino Smith thing.
I think the Seahawks fans are delighted that Russell Wilson is gone.
Um,
last one for watchables chiefs,
49ers.
That's it.
We're done with watchables.
It's so fun.
I don't even love this game. It's like that. It's not like a barrel laughs to watch 49ers. This's it. We're done with watchables. It's so funny. Yeah, and I'm not even, I don't even love this game. It's like not,
it's not like a barrel of laughs to watch 49ers.
This is in San Francisco.
I think the Chiefs are going to be favored.
I have the Chiefs by two and a half.
Oh, I hit, I hit this exactly.
Three, full three, Kansas City
over San Francisco.
Man.
I gotta say,
the Troy Lance injury.
Troy?
Is he Troy?
And Trey.
And Trey Lance.
Trey Aikman.
Trey Aikman was talking about.
Now, the Trey Lance,
it just would have been more fun
if Trey Lance was their quarterback
the last six weeks.
I would have watched more 49ers.
But Jimmy G,
you're like,
I don't need to watch.
Well, their defense,
look, it's the same thing.
If the Cowboys defense lost
their top three or even Parsons
for one quarter, they'd be in
trouble too. So I think that's what we're seeing.
Plus, they went east twice in a row.
They're going to lose one of those probably.
Yeah. They might steal this San Francisco.
Fairly watchable
as they got five. First
one is your team. I assume Dak comes back
Next week
Yeah I think so
Against
Detroit
I think a lot of people
Will be putting the Cowboys
In teases and parlays
Lions coming off
A humiliating
29-0 loss
I kind of like the Lions
In this game
Well they're off a bye too
Off a bye
Little kitchen sinkish They're 1-4 1-5 I kind of like the Lions in this game. Well, they're off a bye, too. Off a bye.
Little kitchen sink-ish.
They're 1-4.
1-5 is probably a cross-off.
Yeah.
You know what Dan Campbell's record is off a bye?
It's like 33-2.
No, I don't know.
It's a road one.
I have the Cowboys by 7.5.
That's exactly what I had.
So you can't get off me Simmons.
I had,
it's seven.
Okay.
I like the lines.
Yeah.
I mean,
like,
like I said to you,
four and two is great. If you take care of business against the lions and bears going into the
buy,
but this game scares me a little bit.
Next week,
I'm going to tape the NBC halftime show and do a usage rate and time for each person,
how long they talked.
I think today was a new record.
I think everybody talked for like eight seconds
on the,
on the show today.
I don't,
the halftime shows,
somehow they're getting with the NBC show tonight.
Yeah.
They,
they try to jam in all these people into like three minutes.
Oh, there's too many people
too many people and there's like no time
it would be like if we had nine other people on this podcast
right now and we just had to zoom
around for their cut and then go to a commercial
I'm taping next week
next game
Titans Colts
the Colts just play other AFC South
teams every week I guess
Titans coming off a bye Colts. The Colts just play other AFC South teams every week, I guess. Titans coming off a bye.
Colts are just, how the Colts are 3-2-1, I couldn't possibly tell you.
I know, it's crazy. They almost lost to Denver. They weren't scoring at all.
Denver could have put them away. Taylor's out. The third string running back is better than Taylor.
I don't know how it's happening. Probably won some leagues.
I have Titans by three in this game.
You're going to get this one.
I said,
I said,
what did I say?
I said,
I say,
pick them.
Oh, you get this.
It's two and a half.
Yeah.
Okay.
I had one and a half.
Sorry.
Yeah,
you got it.
Pick them.
I had one and a half.
It's a,
nah.
I still wait.
Did they play? Yeah, you win this one. You throw whatever line you them. I have one and a half. I still win. Wait, did they play?
Yeah, you win this one.
You throw whatever line you want.
I won.
The Titans won this game in...
Yeah, they won 24-17.
Two weeks ago.
Oh, all right.
Another fairly watchables.
A team that I have lost money on three weeks in a row.
I might have to just keep going until I win.
The Jacksonville Jaguars at home
against the New York football giants,
five and one.
Our beloved friend Brad had a Giants win,
had the Yankees stave off elimination,
and his favorite college team, Tennessee,
beats Alabama all in the span of 24 hours.
My question is, is he still alive?
Did it kill him?
Have we heard from Brad?
Well, it's funny you should say that because he threatened to pay for lunch. He wanted to get ribs at Corolla's Warehouse and he wanted a very special place that didn't deliver to Corolla's
Warehouse. So he's like, I want to pay for lunch for everyone. And I was like, just, you know,
why don't we get here and you'll buy lunch? No, no, no. I have to have it delivered to my house and then come to the warehouse.
I said, you have trouble transporting yourself, let alone yourself, plus food.
This isn't going to work.
He's like, no, let's do it my way.
1130.
I'm like, hey, where are you?
We're thinking about lunch.
He's like, yeah, the guy never called me back.
The guy, you order food.
The guy never called me back.
Does that factor in at all?
I was like, please get here. He's like, all right, I want to pay for lunch anyway. I was like, good. I'll order food. The guy never called me back. Does that factor in at all? I was like, please get here.
He's like, all right, I want to pay for lunch anyway.
I was like, good, I'll order it.
You could pay me back.
He's like, okay, order a lot.
I order a feast for 12 people.
There's three of us or four of us plus Brad is coming.
Guess who doesn't show up?
Brad?
Yeah, yeah, Brad.
I'm on a hook for like $260 lunch.
He's the best.
Jesus.
So there you go.
Is he alive?
I don't know.
I don't know how to answer that.
Maybe that.
Yeah.
Well, the Giants.
I'm off by six points in this spread.
So you're going to get this unless you're off by six.
Interesting.
I had the Jags by two and a half.
Really?
Yeah.
You're right.
I mean, it's the Jags by two and a half. Really? Yeah. You're right. I mean, it's the Jags by three.
Why is not the five and one Giants favorite over the two and four Jags?
Because the analytics like the Jags.
I don't know.
These Jags, they're in every game.
They've fucked up three games in a row, but they just, they have a knack for just shooting themselves in the foot.
Why do we not see, I don't know if you even knew this, that the Jaguars are 0-13 in division on the road?
Is that true?
0 for their last 13.
Yeah, that one is actually true.
I did get, I was super suspicious that that line never moved.
I didn't understand why they weren't favored against the Colts without Taylor.
And the line just stayed at one and a half.
And it was like a classic trap.
There's a couple sites that I
never really looked at this before, but I did this week
and now I'm kind of addicted where you can
see the money, where
the money goes for the different bets.
There were two overs today
and I couldn't believe
it. One was
the Casey
Bills game. And
I think it ended like 88% of the money was on the over in that game.
On this one side I went to. And then the other one was
the Cardinals Seahawks game.
And that was like 80-81%,
something like that.
Both of those went way under
for the over.
And the unders are crushing.
So now I'm just wondering,
do you just look at these sites
and anytime there's 80% and up
on an over and under,
you just go the opposite way
because the public loses all the time?
I wish I had the tweet,
but there was something where
54% or more of the money is on something
that it's losing at an astounding rate.
I remember that tweet. It was like, that's what made me
start do this. It was like 33 and
17 when the money was 55%
and up. Yeah, why don't we do
that instead of all this opinion
betting? By the way, did you see Saquon
go down? That killed an over too. That game's
going over if he doesn't slide at the three.
Oh yeah, he slid it. Yep.
Ravens are home for the Browns.
This is at least a
fairly watchable, even though we don't know what the hell's going
on with the Browns. The body
language on their receivers
was not great in this game.
The Brissette, I think, is wearing out his
welcome. Deshaun is still
six weeks
away from comeback. Well, this was supposed to be
the game he came back, right?
With the initial suspension. The Ravens.
Yeah. I got Ravens
by six and a half. We're going to
split it. I said five and a half. It's six.
Two,
three, four, five. You call it out. Three, six.
I think it's six, six. Okay.
Last fairly watchable
is Broncos, Jets.
You could have argued this actually might have been a watchable
just because the Broncos are kind of a comedy watchable,
not a fun football watchable.
But I was surprised where I landed on this.
Broncos by three.
Yeah, you got it exactly.
I said Broncos two.
I don't know.
Still, four and two against 2-3.
At this point, you can look at the records a little bit.
The Broncos could be 2-4 after tomorrow.
Yeah, right.
On a short week, I think the Jets have the better Wilson.
I really do.
I don't think they're related.
Well, now they're saying Russell Wilson is hurt.
He's playing with some injured shoulder that he played with during the
game.
It's like,
well,
if he was hurt,
why did you go for it on fourth and one and a half,
throw a slant pass with him?
Why didn't you kick the field goal?
Your quarterback's hurt.
That makes it even dumber.
I didn't think it was possible for you to be dumber,
Nat Hackett,
but your quarterback was hurt the whole game.
Yeah.
For it on fourth and two.
Well,
that's so funny you say that because people like you and I are so,
so excited to blame the whole Broncos demise on Nat Hackett, right?
Or Nate Hackett, whatever.
And then he says something stupid like,
he has to disclose that Wilson's hurt.
It's like, oh, we're going to split the blame with you and Russ.
Now you're taking it back?
Yeah.
He's like, there's not two morons here.
I'm the only moron.
Poop fact of three games.
First one is Packers-Washington.
I just don't want to watch Washington if I can,
but I do like Brian Robinson.
I think he's very unconventional for a running back, right?
He almost seems like a kick returner as a running back.
The way he carries the ball in the wrong hand.
He's tall and lanky.
He's like a little Eric Dickerson.
Like,
yeah,
yeah.
Very unusual.
This is in Washington,
which,
you know,
they had odds for him to win comeback player of the year because he got
shot because he got shot.
He was really like one of the top three a few weeks ago,
but then they took him out because a rookie can't
win it. He's a rookie.
They took him out of all the run. He can't come back
from your first season. Right. He came back from college.
This is in Washington, which I
think really helps the Packers because
I think on the East Coast, all the Packer
fans come out. I'm bumping this. I got
Packers by seven.
Do we tie? I said four. It's five and a half. I got Packers by seven. Do we tie?
I said four. It's five and a half.
We were both off by a point. We tied.
Really? The Packers
should lay points to anybody?
Who do they need to lose to?
They lost to the Jets and Giants.
Not taking Washington.
I bet on
Washington on Thursday night, I parlayed
them and the Pats.
Yeah, so you won.
Well, they're up five.
They're up five.
And I was like,
I don't want to bet on this stupid Thursday night game.
Two shitty teams Thursday night.
This is a stay away.
And then by 4.30, I'm like,
eh, Washington and the Pats, why not?
So Rivera,
it's fourth down on the 31.
They're up five.
There's like a minute and a half left.
And Rivera's like, I'm going to try a 48-yarder to go up eight.
And if I miss, Chicago hits the ball at the 40.
And they can touchdown wins it.
This is really risky.
Fuck it.
I'm going to try it with my field goal kicker who's not even very good.
And of course, he missed it.
And it's like a slow motion car crash.
These coaches, they invent new ways to be dumb.
And in this one, it's just like,
punt the ball, make the Bears go 90 yards.
Fields couldn't go 90 yards
if you gave them an hour and a half.
There's no way.
And of course they miss.
But anyway, they barely escaped.
But I was so mad.
I was like, why did I bet on this? Do you want to see like when I die or you can do this,
you should just pay like an analytics guy, like, uh, I don't know, the $5 million a year or
whatever you could afford. And just, don't you want to know like what your record is career-wise
with missed field goals? Like, do you think your field goals that you needed your guys to make,
whether it's betting or on your team,
went through at a lower rate, much lower rate than the average?
Because I feel that way about myself.
Yeah, I lost in week one.
The Browns guy hit a 59-yarder,
and I don't think he's come close to anything like that ever since.
Cade York?
Yeah.
Cade York, Browns have themselves a field goal kicker.
No, actually, they really don't.
Right.
Yeah.
Next poop-fecta game is Bucks-Panthers.
The Panthers are just on permanent poop-fecta watch,
and it feels like they'll waive Robbie Anderson.
They'll probably trade DJ Moore.
They'll try to trade McCaffrey.
And if they're smart, they would trade Brian Burns for first.
I was looking at the Rams tackling.
The Rams were like, they put a good lick on McCaffrey today.
And I was thinking, McVay might be like, hey, take it easy on him.
He might be on our roster Wednesday.
Right?
Why not?
Well, I'm hoping the Pats trade Aguilar and Damian Harris to the Rams
for like 2028 first-round pick or something.
Yeah.
Could see them doing that.
I had the Bucks by eight over the Panthers.
Yeah, I was bad on this.
I said seven.
It's 10.
10.
That's stupid.
Well, they're far and away,
and we haven't done this
where we eliminate teams from the playoffs,
but Carolina's out, right?
Are we going to do that this year?
Because Carolina's out.
I had the cross-offs.
You want to do that now?
I just had inside information
on this game.
Brady's,
Brady's not practicing
on Friday night
because he's
going to
Shia LaBeouf's
brother's bar mitzvah.
It's in Kansas City.
Is that right?
Private jet, yeah.
But he's going to be,
he's going to be in there.
Brady flies to New York
on a Friday night.
This guy, this guy used to be this incredible team guy. What happened to this? He's yelling to be in Tampa. Brady flies to New York on a Friday night. This guy used to be this incredible team guy.
What happened to this?
He's yelling at teammates.
He does whatever the fuck he wants.
This is exactly who he wasn't on the Patriots for like 20 years.
No, he was.
He was a team guy.
You didn't want to see it.
He was just doing it on the sly.
He didn't let Belichick know.
It just wasn't as public about it.
Cross off teams.
Yeah.
Are we crossing these teams off for 2022?
Usually we do six, but now there's so many playoff teams.
Maybe we just need to get to four.
Carolina, cross-off?
For sure, the far and away the worst.
I would have put them right there with the Steelers,
but now they're at the bottom alone.
Chicago?
Yeah.
Yeah. I'd cross them off too.. Chicago? Yeah. Yeah.
I'd cross them up too.
Four or five wins.
Yep.
The Washington Daniels-Snyders?
Only because that division's really solid now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think they're a cross off.
And then if we had to get to a fourth,
the choices are Detroit, Pittsburgh, or Houston.
No.
I feel good about crossing off any of them, right?
We don't have to do that yet.
We don't have to do that.
That's it?
So it's just those three?
Yeah.
That's fine.
That's low.
And it's funny.
Who's the other one-win team?
Like Vegas is one and four, but you're not crossing them off, right?
Not crossing them off.
Yeah.
They're actually talented.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's fine.
Speaking of Vegas, they are home for the Texans as our last poop-fecta game.
And I have the Raiders
laying seven points to the Texans.
Yeah, you're going to beat me this week.
You got it exactly.
I said six.
This is the cross-off bowl?
I mean, probably we could maybe
get rid of one of them after this.
Yeah, I think that's fair.
One, three, and one against one and four.
Cross-off bowl.
Okay.
Yep.
Sunday night is kind of a lousy one. Dolphins-Steelers. We should mention, I know it's sour grapes. out ball. Okay. Yep. Sunday night is a, it's kind of a lousy one.
Dolphin Steelers.
We should mention,
I know it's sour grapes.
I was really mad.
The Bucks
stuck it right
up my yin yang today,
but incredible job by Tomlin.
I mean,
Jesus Christ.
Pickett looked,
I thought,
good.
Pretty good.
Their defense was missing everybody. It didn't matter. They're harassing Brady. I don't know. I thought good. Pretty good. Their defense was missing everybody.
It didn't matter.
They were harassing Brady.
I don't know.
I thought that was...
Well, they ran the clock out.
Very well-coached game.
It was very Brady-esque
how they didn't give
Tompa the ball back at the end.
It was amazing.
It's like, all right,
he's going to have one more drive, right?
No, it never came.
Yeah.
It's kind of a semi-must-win game for them.
So now they're playing Sunday night.
They're on the road in Miami.
I assume it's going to be Bridgewater. I don't think
we'll see Tua.
You don't think we'll see Tua? I thought
they said Tua's back for this.
Did they say that officially?
So that's going to be Sunday
night. It's going to be a Tua concussion
referendum for three hours. I'm surprised they're doing that.
Yeah, Tua
out in concussion playing two weeks. He's out of concussion protocol. Okay, maybe we, Tua and out of concussion playing two weeks.
He's out of concussion protocol.
Okay, maybe we see Tua.
I got Dolphins by
five and a half over the stairs.
That's what I had at six and a half.
You're going to win this week.
I beat you. Well, maybe though
is that a teaser game?
We don't even talk about teaser games anymore,
huh? Because I've lost the teaser every week.
Yeah.
But growing up or is my wallet growing out?
Monday night, your 2023 AFC representatives for the Super Bowl in Glendale, Arizona.
The New England Patriots.
What's wrong with you?
Home for the Bears of Chicago.
I'll tell you this.
I think this line creeps up to nine by Monday.
Wow.
By Monday.
Because I think people are going to be teasing the Pats.
This is a Monday nighter.
I'm going to say Pats by seven and a half.
You got it.
You had a good week.
What a strong finish for you.
It is exactly seven and a half. I said seven. Yeah. What a strong finish for you. It is exactly 7.5. I said
7. Yeah, I think that goes to 9.
12
to 8, you win.
This is going to be a tough
Justin Fields week.
Oh, yeah. Belichick will
be like, oh, cool. So you don't complete passes
really. Okay, got it.
And then that'll be it.
I was going to say, what is his over-under for
complete bad? Might be nine and a half this game.
Just the way he rolls.
Let's take a break. I want to talk baseball
and then we'll do Paracord.
Alright, baseball playoffs.
I watched a lot. I know you did too over the
weekend.
First of all,
kudos to them because the best
of three in the first weekend I thought was a good
idea. I think the playoffs
this week were really fun. It's fun.
It's basically the playoffs are just drunk.
There's
no rhyme or reason to it, but in a
weird way, it's, I think, good for baseball.
With that said,
if you win 111 games
and the other team
wins 89
and it's a best of five
and you lose
one of the first two
and now you have to go
on the road
for your life
in game three and four
in a fucking madhouse
like that
it just isn't enough
of an advantage
the inferior club
has a better home
home advantage
for some
reason the fans seem to be those Philly
fans are like I've never it hurts me to say that
like that park seems so
loud so loud like
I honestly would you rather have
2-2-1 if you're the if you're the
favorite would you rather have 2-2-1
or would you rather have
we'll give you the first two games give us
the last three at home I'd rather have the two we'll you the first two games. Give us the last three at home. I'd rather have the two.
We'll take the three.
It depends on how your pitchers are set up.
But yeah, Garrett Cole on the road was pretty good tonight.
So I think I might take your deal if I was like the Yankees or someone.
It seems like if you're the one seed in either league,
maybe it's a best of five,
but all the games are at home.
That's the advantage.
That's what you get for six months.
We have this whole season
and it has to be worth something.
It can't just be worth,
oh, cool, if there's a magical game five
in my best of five,
that will be in my home stadium.
That's not enough of advantage.
And I don't care. I don't care about the Dodgers or the Padres. I'm just saying like as a fan of five, that will be in my home stadium. That's not enough of advantage. I don't care about the
Dodgers or the Padres. I'm just saying as a fan of sports, this is a stupid system.
Here's why you're right, because the first series was three games and they appreciated that line of
logic for that, right? The Mets had all three games at home. So they had the first series,
the inferior teams are on the road for 100%.
The second series
where you get by teams,
teams with over 100 wins
only get 60% of their games at home.
Doesn't make sense.
It should either be best of seven
or at least for the top seed.
Being the best seed
should be worth something.
Now, the NBA used to do it this way
and it was super fun. They used to have the first round was best of five. to do it this way and it was super fun. They used
to have the first round was best of five. It was the nineties. It was super fun. Cause if you,
if you could steal one of the first two, you had the next game three and four at home and you
really had a chance. And I remember like there was a couple of times where it hit. I remember
there was one year it was Phoenix when they had Rex Chapman and all those guys against Seattle
and they had it, they split the first two and it's like, oh my God, they're, and I used to
like Seattle anyway. It's like, oh my God, they're going to go back to Seattle. They're
going to be able to actually upset the Suns because of this stupid system. And what did
the NBA do? They changed it because you, why have this whole season to lead to this best of five
where anything can happen? You don't want anything to happen in the playoffs. First of all, this is, congratulations,
is by far the longest you've waited to insert an NBA reference.
I mean, an hour and six minutes is a good job by you.
Just phenomenal.
But secondly, yeah, you're right.
And everyone's going to say we're being snobs here about big market
against small market.
And believe me, I have executive friends friends in the major league baseball on the
East coast who are ready to jump off the Throgs Neck bridge if it's Padres and Guardians in
the World Series.
But I'm not saying, facts are facts.
Like this is, of course, I'm saying everyone should play.
If they keep winning, they should advance.
They should keep playing. But it's not great for the sport if 412 wins between the Braves, Mets,
Yankees, and Dodgers are out a week after the playoffs start, right?
And there's three weeks left.
It's not good.
It's just too hairy, and it's just not enough of an advantage.
And they have to fix
it.
Either go best of seven.
If,
if the best possible outcome would be 150 games,
regular season,
and then just go best of five for,
for the,
you know,
have more playoff games.
Right.
It's fun,
but it's more fun.
I mean,
it was super,
I loved watching the Padres game on Saturday night.
I really genuinely enjoyed it.
I don't care who won the series.
It just seems crazy to me that the Dodgers can win 22 more games than them,
that they beat the Padres 14 out of 19 times in the regular season.
And then just because their bats go cold for two games,
they have to go home.
They're done.
If that was the Red Sox, I would have gone fucking crazy.
Honestly, I would have absolutely, I wouldn't have been able to do the podcast today.
I'd be so upset.
But it's also, and it's very exciting.
Look, there's nothing more.
I've talked about this, how directors of baseball games in the playoffs should win Emmys.
The way they create all the drama going to the fans and the players blowing on their hands because it's much colder.
This game that's played the whole summer is all of a sudden now it's freezing
and everyone's cold and the angry manager spitting sunflower seeds
and there's no light moments.
You don't see mascots anywhere dancing.
It's really, really intense for four hours a night.
Or eight hours when the Mariners are in the scoreless 8-8 game.
Yeah, exactly.
But the thing that bums me out is it's different. It's vastly
different from what we watch in the regular
season in that these pitchers...
I've been betting pitcher outs. I think
Caesars has pitcher outs. You could bet under
17.5
outs for Cole. So if he doesn't
go six innings,
that's a good bet. And the Dodgers
for sure is a good bet because Roberts pulls
everyone long before they deserve to be pulled.
Kershaw against Machado,
well, all right, he's coming out.
It's like, why?
It's the fourth inning.
Well, it's a lefty.
I have 70 relievers.
It's a lefty-righty matchup.
It's like, who cares?
It's a lefty-righty matchup.
This is Clayton Kershaw.
Maybe just let's see.
The guy yesterday, Anderson, had what?
A two-hitter and they pulled him Saturday night?
No.
It's too much.
It doesn't resemble baseball.
This goes to the aggressive analytics we talk about in the NFL.
The Padres guy in game three against your team,
who just was lights out.
Musgrove.
Musgrove, yeah.
He throws a one-hitter.
But if Roberts was his manager,
he would have yanked him in the sixth inning.
Like, oh, I have a chance to do a lefty-righty matchup.
First of all, in a game with those
kind of stakes, if my pitcher is getting
everyone out, I'm keeping them in
until there's a reason to get nervous.
Of course. The Dodgers
at least let me see a couple outs
in the sixth before I'm
bringing in all my relievers. It's not like they were
stacked with relievers anyway. I thought
it was a classic overthink.
I would not have taken him out. Nobody was hitting him.
Sort of two fucking hitter.
And if you're a Padres fan, you're like,
oh, cool. You're going to take this guy out? Thank you.
This is great. Please bring in
relievers into this atmosphere. One of them's going to
be scared. Yeah, you're not going for it
on fourth and one Patrick Mahomes? Great.
Thank you. Bring in the
punt team. And then the
fucking Nationals who trade Soto.
Yeah.
And Bell.
Again, I had no dog.
I was actually kind of
deep down rooting for the Padres
because I thought their crowd
was really fun.
There were some shirtless guys
in the crowd,
which I enjoyed.
Just said there's like
a festive atmosphere.
It seemed like kind of crazy.
It was pouring rain
or FLA.
Super fun.
But every time Soto was up, I just
thought he was going to get hit. He's so fucking
scary. And you think like, the
Nationals had him. He's 25 and then
they're like, well, let's turn him into seven
prospects. Awesome. Well, now you don't have Juan
Soto anymore. Oh. You know, it's
like the Red Sox. We don't
have Mookie Betts anymore. Cool.
We have Verdugo. Nice.
Harper, Scherzer.
The list goes on and on with that team.
Who they scrapped
since the World Series.
But yeah, Soto scares me.
Opposite field.
All those guys
with opposite field power.
Those lefties are terrifying.
Well, fun.
National League.
Really fun home crowds
for Philly's Padres.
Both of those fan bases
brought it.
I think the Mets would have brought it too.
And then you go
into the other one where it could be
Cleveland at
Houston. I mean, nobody wants Houston.
So I guess we have to root for Cleveland.
Cleveland's a little frisky though.
Do we want to root for Cleveland?
Do we want or do we want...
I'm not rooting. I root
for the Astros over the Yankees.
No, the Yankees are the...
I'm always rooting against the Yankees.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
It'll hurt Yankee fans more
if Houston beats them, right?
Won't it?
No, it's worse if you lose a game five
to fucking Cleveland.
Oh, you think so?
Oh, yeah.
That's...
You blow game five to the Guardians?
So where's your money right now?
I mean, I'm holding an Astros 10-1 ticket,
so I'm excited about that
they're plus 140
to win it all
Phillies are only plus 340
see here's where the Lions get screwy
but you can get the Yanks at 5-1
and the Padres at 320
I like the Phillies batting order
just guys who have professional at-bats
even Schwarber
it's not like Schwarber lights out in the playoffs so far,
but you just know
it's going to be like
seven, eight pitches.
There's just like
a certain rhythm
to all those guys.
Like they bleed counts.
I just like watching it.
Yeah.
Good small ball.
Yeah.
What are the matchups tomorrow?
They announced the pitchers.
I think it's Talion
and Civelli.
So it's not the Yankees
minus 156.
Yeah, exactly.
See, I would bet the Guardians
because that's basically a bet
against Aaron Boone.
Right.
And it's plus 132.
Yeah, take the rich plus money.
Yeah, I don't.
Just fix the thing.
Fix the best of five.
That's stupid.
It should be called the Dodger rule, whatever. Whatever they have to do for the Mets to get in. I don't know. fix the thing. Fix the best of five. That's stupid. It should be called the Dodger rule, whatever.
Whatever they have to do for the Mets to get in.
I don't know.
Good college football this weekend, too.
A little Tennessee upset.
I'm excited that you watched.
That was great.
Saturday was insane.
There was good boxing, too.
You see Wilder?
You see Shields?
The woman fight?
There's a lot of good stuff.
Well, the Wilder knockout, it really kind of felt like a dive.
I was like slow-moing it,
trying to figure out how we'd knock this guy unconscious,
falling backwards with like...
But I guess he has that much power.
I don't know.
I thought it was weird.
It was a left.
Because I looked for it too.
Was it a left?
It was like a left cross?
I was trying to figure out what it was.
It was like the clay list and punch.
Right.
I didn't understand how the guy was on his back,
like seeing birds flying around him.
It was like, I couldn't even see how he hit him.
I think the boxing in 23 is going to be good.
We got some good big money fights coming.
All right, let's do parent corner.
Today's parent corner is brought to you by CarMax.
CarMax makes shopping for a car really, really, really easy
because you can shop in your terms with no pressure.
That's right, shop online or a store near you
and get a 30-day money-back guarantee
so you can see if the car works for you
or you can return it up to 1500 miles.
See CarMax.com for details.
CarMax, car buying reimagined.
Sal, you're on the clock.
All right, I got to find this now.
So the parent corner is not going to involve my kids,
but involves my mother to me.
And that's a child-parent relationship
if you're scoring at home.
My mother texted me the other day.
It's Thursday.
It's right before the game,
like the hour before the Thursday game.
I'm getting all my bets
and trying to narrow it from 25 to 12
because I need to have as much
action on the game as possible. And then I get from my mother, she sends me a text that says,
because I love you, I have to share. And then it's this video, which I didn't watch. It's a
YouTube video. And it says, diabetes and erectile dysfunction, healing the body with the right
foods. Part one. Part one. So I guess there's
a part two if I enjoy this enough. This is what she's sending me. She became a vegan at age 71.
She's 76. And from then on, she's been a complete pain in the ass. Now, raised us on salty meats,
but you couldn't have enough of them. She's Italian.
Italian. Yeah. She's actually Jewish, but might as well be Italian.
Yes. But might as well be Italian Yes but might as well be
Married in Italian
Right my Italian father's mother taught her how to cook
Everything was Italian cooking
And then boom I don't know what she
On Facebook she saw all these plant based this
And that God bless you if that's your thing
But it's not mine and forever
And I tell her I was like look
When I'm 71 if I'm lucky enough to make it
I'll do this too. Give me 20 more years. Can you imagine all this erectile dysfunction thing?
She sends me a grown man. I have to sit through this. And so I say to my wife, I'm like, listen,
you got to text her and say that Sal has no problem in that department at all.
With diabetes or ED.
Yes, of course ED ha ha ha
he is
and you know
be very graphic
but she's like no
I'm not doing that
I'm like please do that
so
but she won't
but anyway
mom please stop sending me this
I'm not watching this
video
why did she send you that
I don't understand that at all
she thinks I'm going to get diabetes
if I keep eating
yeah
although I will say
right before Halloween
is a good time to send this
if you're going to send it at all. I'm going to put down
75 mini Twixes in
an hour. My mom doesn't send me clips.
She just sends me texts like
today she texted me about the Watcher.
It was really, really good. Very well
done. The scariest part was Mia Farrow's
face.
Is that a Jeff Ross
text?
It felt like it.
Well, there you go.
Tell me a Pharaoh's face.
My parent corner was I sent
my daughter back to Boston
on
Thursday by herself.
Little test
because she's going to school there next year.
She flew.
We dropped her off.
Did the whole thing.
Boarded the plane by herself.
Landed. My dad's like, I'm going to pick her up.
I'm like, no. My dad and I actually got in a fight
about it because he's like, just tell me when it is.
I'm like, Dad,
I want her to figure this out.
This is really important. She's going to be in college next year. Let her I want her to figure this out. This is really important.
She's going to be in college next year.
Let her figure out how to do this.
So she figured out how to get from the airport to my dad's place, spent the whole weekend there.
And then last night, she's out with the soccer team where she's going to play for next year.
And they're celebrating win.
And she goes out and she texts me and she's like, I think I'm going to, she had like a 11 o'clock fight the next day.
She's like, I think I'm going to sleep over here and then go back to grandpa's in the morning.
Where's here?
Sleep over where?
At the college place.
So I'm thinking like, knowing my history with my daughter, who's, you know, late pretty occasionally and, pretty occasionally and she's a kid.
And my wife and I are like, this is a disaster. She's going to miss the plane. There's no way.
She's going to set her alarm, wake up at 7.45, go to my dad's place, pack, and then somehow get her ass to the plane and get there in time. There's no way. 0% chance. It wasn't even like a 5%. It's like, all right, let's let her
miss the plane. She'll learn a valuable lesson.
Go to bed, wake
up at, I don't know,
like 6.50 because Murph
wants to get fed.
I'm like, oh, I wonder if I got
a text from Zoe. Get a text.
I'm at the airport waiting
aboard.
Really great night last night. Good for you. I'm thinking, airport waiting aboard really great night last night.
I'm thinking, she fucking did it.
Got her ass
to Boston, slept
in some place and came back and packed
and got the whole thing.
I was just really impressed. I feel like
she passed some invisible
test. Would you trust Archie to go
cross-country without any help and
figure out everything and fly you?
No, I don't think I would.
I don't think he may.
I think it's a coin flip that he makes it back.
This is what I was saying to my dad.
I was like, she's going to be in college in 10 months.
She has to learn how to, like, it's almost like throwing Kenny Pickett out there.
You got to learn how to navigate the puck's defense.
We're not going to know what a blitz is going to look like
until you're under fire with one.
So we did it. She landed. She came home at like
3.30 and
was just like, yeah.
Did it. That's great.
Yeah. That's great. As long as you don't
find out she stayed at Jason Tatum's house
Saturday night, I think you're good.
I'm not ruling that out.
Well, she is an 18. I mean, that would be probably illegal. I'm sorry. I thought she're good. I'm not ruling that out. She is an 18.
That would be probably illegal.
I'm sorry. I thought she was 18. Terrible.
I was very proud of her.
Good. Good job by you, Zoe.
It's funny how fast
they grow.
I would say even a year ago, inconceivable
she could have gone to Boston and back.
Would she have been upset with herself
or would she have been like, oh, whatever.
I'll take the next flight.
What does it cost?
Another $100 change or whatever.
How do you think she would have been?
I don't know.
I would have made her navigate it.
Maybe she really stepped it up.
Good.
Would have made her navigate it.
All right.
That's it for Parent Corner.
Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by CarMax.
If you're looking for the perfect car for you, well, CarMax has thousands of quality
certified cars for you to choose from. They spend hours replacing parts and detailing them to make
your car feel like new. And then they give each one a final quality check. So shop at CarMax
and get extra peace of mind when you buy your next car. Learn more at CarMax.com.
CarMax, car buying reimagined. All right, Sal. Also, I watched all seven episodes of The Watcher.
How did you like it?
It was watchable.
They should have called it The Watchable.
That's what I thought the joke was.
Yeah.
Wow.
All right.
Maybe I'll watch.
Well, that doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement,
but I just got done with Dahmer.
I got done with Dahmer.
Oh, you did it.
You did Dahmer.
Yeah, I did Dahmer.
You saw it too?
Oh, of course.
Did you like it?
I liked it.
I thought it was two episodes too long,
but I liked it.
Yeah, there was some flimsy episodes
in there towards the end.
But yeah, I think I would have loved it
if it weren't a true story.
If it were just made up,
I would be like,
oh my God, this is great.
They did a fantastic job with this, but it is some freaky shit that that really went on.
I just don't feel like I would fall for the, I just have some bad pork chops in the fridge.
My fridge stopped working.
Because the follow-up question is, well, why don't you take the pork chops out of the fridge, you fucking weirdo?
Yeah, right.
Right?
Nobody asked that.
They're like, oh, bad pork chops.
Yeah, that's a tough break. And then
it's this overwhelming
rotten stench. Yeah, definitely shouldn't
have worked three times.
Yeah, every single person.
I probably would have come over and helped eat
the pork chops and then been disappointed.
But yeah. Well, we got White Lotus
coming. Are you going to watch
it with just her? She was great, but
I missed the manager.
He was the best, wasn't he?
I trust the franchise.
I think it's going to be good. I'm excited for it.
What do you got to plug this week?
We got the Extra Points Podcast Network.
Get all your sports gambling needs there
against the odds. Minus three. Megan Fun of Sports
covering Glory Waverwired, Lemon Pepper
Parlor. We have Terrell Davis
on, Brian Scalabrini,
and we have our NIL scholarship recipient on later in the week.
Oh, that's exciting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to give a new one every week a few hundred bucks.
See what happens.
Yeah.
And I'm avoiding erectile dysfunction.
That's the main focus of this week.
All right, guys.
Good job by you.
Good job by you.
All right.
That's it for the podcast.
Thanks to Kyle Creighton for producing as always.
Thanks to Steve Cerutti and Dylan Berkey as well.
I will see you on this feed on Tuesday.