The Bill Simmons Podcast - Brady's Struggles, Garrett's Exile, Trubisky's XFL Career, and Winston's Quest For Immortality With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: November 18, 2019

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Bears-Rams snoozefest, the 11 cross-off teams, Vikings-Broncos, Patriots-Eagles, Ravens-Texans, murky AFC playoff implications, and more (1:45). Then Bill and Sal are joined by Charitybuzz auction winner, Mark Harris to guess the NFL lines for week 12 (34:40).  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tonight's episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by State Farm. Just like football, life can be unpredictable. Mitch Trubisky, predictable. Life, unpredictable. That's why State Farm agents are there to help with over 19,000 agents. A local State Farm agent could be just around the block. Whether you talk in person, by phone, or through the app, State Farm is there. Go with the one with coverage and agents you can count on.

State Farm, talk to an agent today. You can't count on Mitch Trubisky anymore. He's dead to me. We're also brought to you by Mercari. Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, all made-up days designed to get you to buy stuff. Have you heard of Sell Your Shit Sunday? It's a day to sell the stuff you don't use anymore.

Created by Mercari, the selling app that makes it fast and easy to sell almost anything. You just take a few pics, add a description, and boom, your item is listed. You can see Mr. Trubisky up here. I'm just going to make Trubisky jokes this whole podcast. Download Mercari and sell your shit today. The day may be made up, but the money is real. That's Mercari, M-E-R-C-A-R-I. Also brought to you by TheRinger.com,

one of the world's last good websites, as well as the Book of Basketball 2.0 podcast heading into week three. Two more coming on Tuesday. Response has been great. Thank you for all the great feedback. Sal's podcast is called Against All Odds. You can also listen to that on The Ringer Podcast Network.

Coming up, we're going to talk about week 11 and a whole bunch of other stuff. But first, our friends from Pearl Geo. All right, we're doing this in studio together. We haven't done a podcast. When was the last time we did a podcast together? I don't know. Super Bowl? Was that it? Super Bowl. Was that when it was, Kyle?

Over-unders or no? Oh, over-unders. Yeah, we did those in August. Special occasion. We auctioned off this podcast on Charity Buzz for our friend, John Carlin, to raise awareness for AOS because our cousin, Jimmy Kimmel, he did this whole charity drive to raise awareness. One of the bids was come watch Sunday Night Football with me and Sal

and then come on the podcast to guess the lines against us. The winner of that auction is here, Mark Harris. We're going to bring him in a little bit later. He's a Browns fan. We're saving him for the Miles Garrett segment we have coming up later. There's a Miles Garrett segment? Did I miss something? Miles Garrett.

He did something. Yeah, we're going to talk about it. I'll follow your lead. People aren't talking about what he did on Thursday Night Football, but we're going to talk about it. But, yeah, so when we were planning out what weekend to watch a Sunday Night Game with Mark, we thought, well, Bears-Rams will be great.

That'll be an awesome game. That'll be playoff implications. A lot of our listeners are too young to remember, but the Bears and Rams used to be good teams back in like week two or week three. So yes, you're right. We thought doing Mark a favor puts up a lot of loot to join us and it ended up being the worst Sunday night game of the year.

The worst part. So, you and I, you talked me into a tease right before the game. Bears, I'm sorry, Rams and the over down to 34. So, the Rams just had to win and the total points had to be 34 or above. Both were excruciating to root for. Both legs of that. So much Johnny Hecker. Yeah, right.

It's just every five minutes, Johnny Hecker is out. I don't know who was losing the will to live more as this game went along. Matt Nagy, as he just looked at his coaching future, realized he needed to make a change. The two of us for doing this bet Mark for coming in here to do this charity auction with us or Chris Collinsworth, who really became sad in the fourth quarter. I felt like you could feel the life kind of leaving his body.

He's normally a positive guy during these games. And it was just a lot of, ow, just, ow, I don't know, ow. I don't know how much more of this Rams offense I could take. Whoa, you're supposed to be selling us on this game. We don't want to watch it either. You're at least there. The Rams had one first down in the second half with like six minutes left in the fourth quarter and then rallied.

But the big story was at the end of the game, it seems like the Bears finally gave up on Trubisky. It's odd timing. You don't think Chase Daniel, and they didn't give up on the game necessarily because it was 17-7. With like two and a half minutes left. And they're still calling timeouts when the Rams had the ball. But yeah, did they really think Chase Daniel? There might be more to it. There probably shouldn't be more to it. Trubisky sucks. I don't think there's anything more to it. Okay, but it's odd timing still that they took him out when they did. Well, so his last pass as a starter, I think, was the play where Allen Robinson kept going

and Trubisky thought he was going to stop. And he threw a ball that just hit Jalen Ramsey right in the ass. Right. And Jalen Ramsey was running. Nobody knew the ball was coming, including, I don't know, Mitch Trubisky. He's like, Coach, I was aiming for his ass. You told me to do that. What's the matter with you?

And for some reason, this was the play where Matt Nagy was like, I don't know if Mitch has it. Yeah. And they come back from commercial and he has Mitch in an embrace. Right. And he's talking to him a lot like Michael Corleone telling Fredo, I knew it was you, Fredo. But it was much longer, much more emotional. And God only knows what he said to him, but I think the

words, look, the XFL is going to have a lot of jobs, and I think you'll be great there, might have been said. But this is it. Do you think this is it for Mitch Trubisky? Here's Vince McMahon's card. Give him a call. I just talked to him two days ago. He's waiting to hear from you. I don't know what to think with him because I was impressed. I guess now I have to sing the Lions defense against my Cowboys. I'm talked to him two days ago. He's waiting to hear from you. I don't know what to think with him because I was impressed.

I guess now I have to sing the Lions defense against my Cowboys. I'm not too impressed, but that second half last week gave me a glimmer, tiny glimmer of hope. But like you said, every pass was the same. It was four yards. Every receiver's like, Gabriel, all these guys are like, I'm going to get

crunched here. Three guys, as soon as I turn around. There's no—and like you said, he doesn't take off. He doesn't take off anymore. That's the weird thing to me is they don't—at least use him like Buffalo uses Josh Allen. Right. And have him be a dangerous threat on either side. Yeah. It's the most confusing offense in the league.

It seems like a lot of the plays are designed just to get the receivers annihilated by whoever. But the good thing is we don't have to talk about this anymore. The Bears are out. We're crossing them off. We lost some money. We won on Pat's Dallas earlier. We lost profit. I said nobody really wanted to win

that game. It's not a good thing when you have the over, but they were playing we all said for the last six minutes, it was that it was actually like an NBA all-star game. Yeah. There was no freaking points, but the NBA all-star game, they only try with like four minutes left in the fourth quarter.

Right. Both teams, regardless of what the score is. That's how I got the feeling. It reminded me more of a high stakes poker match. Oh, where the person's sitting there just folding every hand. Right.

Yeah. It was like, ah, at some point I'm going to get aces and that's when I'll go all in. Interesting. Both teams were just folding hand after hand. But unfortunately, it was a National Football League game. Yeah.

That was being televised and was allegedly supposed to be entertaining. Neither, nobody wanted to take a chance. We can't even see their hold cards. No. That was a difference. We couldn't get a dumb special teams touchdown, defensive touchdown. There was almost some pick sixes. Goff didn't look great either. No. That was a different, yeah. We couldn't get a dumb special teams touchdown, defensive touchdown. There was no pick.

There was almost some pick sixes. Goff didn't look great either. No, no way. But yeah, so let's do the cross-offs now. We're crossing the Bears off. Right now, our cross-off teams through 11 weeks, we'd like to do one a week. So we have the Bears, the Bengals, the Broncos, the Bucks, the Cardinals, the Dolphins, the Falcons, the resurgent Falcons, the Giants, the Jets, the Lions, and the Redskins. Now, who's on the— On the bubble, I think, are the Panthers.

And, you know, the AFC, I just—like, if the Chargers lose to the Chiefs tomorrow night, they're a cross-off. Did we say the Browns? I can't do it. We're bringing our friend Mark. We're going to talk about this. I can't do it. We're bringing our friend Mark. We're going to talk about this. I can't do it. We'll ask Mark when he comes on. I can't cross them off, though.

I don't feel good about it because I feel like eight and eight might make the playoffs at the AFC. It's not inconceivable. So you have this really weird playoff picture now where in the NFC, five teams have eight wins or more.

And we pretty much know those are going to be the playoff teams unless something crazy happens. San Francisco, Green Bay, New Orleans, Seattle, Minnesota. And then Dallas, Philly, one of those two is the sixth team. And you're in a situation where the Rams are two wins back in the win column from everybody. And they're not even good anyway.

Philly is now three wins back. So if they don't win the division, they're not making it. Carolina's five and five. I think you said earlier, you might have tweeted it and then you said it, the Vikings loss would have made things interesting. We needed it. Or the Niners loss, not for wild card

purposes, but maybe for that division. Just for something. The Vikings had an incredible 28 point comeback today where they came all the way back, and then Denver still, I felt like, should have won. Denver's clock management was...

They should have one more play. It was terrible at the end. You want to do Fanny Pack Fangio? Can we bring it back? What does he do? Just the nickname. I like it. Yeah. They were just burning clock. It was like they thought they had 13 minutes left. He keeps those timeouts in the fanny pack. Oh, my God. It was really bad.

And like I said, you have Cortland Sutton or someone has him on fantasy. Yeah. Why didn't he? He's gigantic. Why don't they go to him down the stretch? They had three plays, nothing doing. I don't think any of these Allens are long for the league. I really don't.

Which Allen's going to be gone first? Yeah, I don't know. They're all gone. Well, Carolina Allen had a miserable day. Really bad. They have three inter. Well, Carolina Allen had a miserable day. Really bad. They have three interceptions or four? Four picks. That was the most enjoyable one to me because we're inching closer and closer to Arthur

Blank giving Dan Quinn a contract extension. Where every Falcons feel-good comeback win where it's like, oh, man, no, actually, we got something going now. I fear a voice. It's leading to five more years of Dan Quinn. They're playing defense. They actually look like they're playing for the coach there. I don't understand what's changed.

It's not like they've had 17 guys come back. No, it's just like, it's like Dan Quinn gave the greatest sports movie speech of all time. Well, that was weird. And that's why I guess we don't cross off Carolina, but this is a kind of game where McCaffrey has like 190 scrimmage yards and they still get blown the hell out. Like not even close to winning this game and he's

just not going to be enough for them. I'm just excited we're actually talking about football because the last four days have been all about Miles Garrett and Colin Kaepernick. Okay, so tell me what happened here. I don't remember. No, we're not. I want to talk football. The Pats game.

I was complaining about it after. You reminded me the Pats were 9-1. That made me feel better. 9-1 is a good record, it turns out. I feel like you're just waiting for me to say. You just need me to say it. You know it hurts. So you know your guys are right. Brady's fine.

It's all going to be okay. So heading into the game, Brady was 17th in QB rating, 12th in QBR. I looked up his stats, and this is before today's stats were added. But, I mean, you're talking about 2016 and 2017. Basically, his QB rating in 2016 was 112. And in 2017, it was 103. I don't like QB rating year it's gonna it was 93 heading in this game

it's gonna be 90 before that but the shocking thing to me is the yards per the yards per attempt so it was 8.2

in 2016 now it's gonna be less than 7 well he's getting older I think is the thing well so here's the thing so there's been moments this year

where you go is this it like you think about that Peyton Manning's last Denver year. I want to make the case for Brady, but I do want to point out they played three good defenses all year. Buffalo, Baltimore, Philly. 16 points, 20 points, 17 points. Brady threw one TD pass in those three games Julian Edelman has as many TD passes here's the real problem no Gronkowski they lose left tackle Isaiah Wynn

they lose their fullback James Devlin who is one of the big reasons their running game got going and then they lost Andrews on the offensive line as well the offensive line just isn't, Marshall Newhouse is involved how many teams have had Marshall Newhouse? like 8? they can't block for him the offensive line just isn't. Marshall Newhouse is involved. How many teams have had Marshall Newhouse? Like eight? I don't know.

They can't block for him. And I think it's a game of dominoes where he knows he's going to get hit. He knows he has to get rid of the ball. And it's led to the most uncharacteristic Brady QB performance in a long time. But I don't blame him. I blame the surrounding circumstances.

He had 14 incomplete passes. Was that a record? in the first half in the first half I mean look at his receivers he had Jacoby Myers Nikhil Harry who's in his first game today

Dorsett's out there he gets concussed on a helmet to helmet that of course they don't call because the NFL hates the Patriots oh yeah Edelman's getting double double teamed basically

and he's got he can't throw to Sonny Michel because God forbid that guy ever caught a screen pass. So I don't really know what he's supposed to be doing in these games, but I think it really bodes badly for the playoffs unless they can get healthy on the line. Well, he just needs to win, right?

He knows what he needs to do. You say, I don't know what he wants. Like, they're 9-1. He was unhappy. The post-game press conference, he was unhappy. Yeah. He was about as unhappy as – andady's not like like i don't know pete manning throwing his teammates under the bus remember pete manning used to do that yeah um brady won't do that but you can tell by the by the demeanor in the post game i just i think this conversation is for you and pay your crazy buddies like hench to discuss, as long as you're 9-1.

Well, Hench calls him Gramps. Yeah, I happened to watch the first half with Hench. He was out of his mind. But people like me and Mark, we're just, you know, this is insulting to us. Mark's like, really? You're complaining about your 9-1 Patriots? He's going to get back on the plane and go home. He's like, yeah, soon enough.

Well, the Brady mortality thing, you you know you think about it in the back of your head it's like having parents getting old you have to have the conversation with yourself he's 42 he's looked rattled so you don't think this is a real thing I don't know

you think Brady looks good in these games no I think he looks fine he looks fine enough to win and he could have had the touchdown that Edelman threw. It could have easily been his touchdown. Well, why didn't he? It's not a big deal.

But is that why he's upset? Because he feels like it's a win for Belichick and not as much for him? No, no, no. I just think he's frustrated. And I think the seeds of this were planted when Antonio Brown, when they cut ties with him. Right. And he was obviously bummed out about it and upset.

And it came out that he lobbied, you know, wait, wait, don't do this. And I think he did it because he knew he needed it. It came out. It was like tweeting and Instagram. I know. They were in love. They were tweeting everything to each other. Well, I'll say this.

If he has a VCR still, he'll be able to see tape of the terrible Cowboys defense today and he'll find a way to get it done next week. I am concerned if they had to go on a road in a playoff game. The good news is they might not have to, but watching Baltimore again, let's talk about that. So much fun. In the Houston, you know, they get the Hopkins PI call, which was terrible.

That went through Baltimore's way, but I also felt like they were doing whatever they wanted offensively. Yeah, I don't know why they're making such a big deal out of this pass interference call when they lost by four touchdowns. They took the momentum away, but that Lamar Jackson is just unstoppable. That's what I'm seeing when I watch this game, right? And the defense, I think they sacked Watson seven times. If you had to pick between those two teams,

who would you pick right now? Because I would say the Ravens. Ravens or Patriots? I think the Ravens look a little better right now, but I think that could change as the Pats offensive line comes back. It really depends where the game is, honestly. I think if it's in Foxborough, you've got a very good shot. And if you're in Baltimore,

Mallory's going to be swinging pom-poms at your head. It's going to be over soon. Well, Pats 9-1, Ravens 8-2. But if they tie, tie goes to the Ravens because they won the head-to-head. I think they would have a hard time going into Baltimore and scoring points. They have some good wins. They should have beaten the Chiefs. I really think they should have.

33-28. They killed the AFC South division leader, Houston, and obviously beat yours. I don't know what more they're supposed to do. They're going to take care of business. Obviously, the AFC North isn't what everyone hoped it would be, but they're going to have 12-13 wins. This Pats offense reminds me of there was a couple years during the decade when Gronk got hurt.

It was specifically the year when he tore the ligament in his knee. But it was just so hard for Brady to do stuff. And the Denver season ends 20 to 18. They don't get the two-point. Two-point conversion. But everything was just, and he's just doing everything he can, and they still can't get to 20 points. And I hope that's not what's going to happen this year. I just think from a skill position standpoint,

Edelman's the best skill guy. He's not, you wouldn't say he's one of the best 10 receivers in the league, right? But that's the one defense you have to avoid in the AFC, right? Baltimore. I think you're going to be okay until then. Obviously, the Chiefs, you're not going to worry about that. Yeah, but we have to go through Baltimore. This is my point.

I mean, that's one game. But you have to score. All right, I know, but you're not going to worry about that. Yeah, but we have to go through Baltimore. This is my point. That's one game. But you have to score. I know, but you're 9-1. It's fine. How many points do I need to score to beat Baltimore? 27? Sure. Yeah, 27.

I'm not. I think I have a right to be concerned. He's going to be okay. I will say one thing. What other fan base could guarantee they're going to be in the AFC, in the championship game? None. So in million-dollar picks on Thursday, we were down $1.75 million.

Yeah, a lot of money. Because Brissette goes down. Slightly more than Mark bid on to be on the card. Brissette goes down, screws us on one bet. And then last week was the freaking Cowboys. So I went all in on the Pats money line. I did the thing

that you're not supposed to do. I did the Brad going to the Navy. Yeah, right. I did 3.3 million on the Pats money line. And if we lost, I was just going to shut that

in the segment. It was over. We've got million dollar fixes in the closet. Find something to do. Million dollar fixes done. House, we don't need you anymore

so the pats came through so now we're back to Scraven but the classic now you crap all over that quarterback the classic game I'm not crapping

the quarterback I wonder at this stage of his career if he doesn't have a good enough offensive line what's realistic so Isaiah Wynn's coming back

I think he's back next week but he's had two pretty significant injuries already and I don't know you need to be able to some throws are different than what we're accustomed to I'll give you that there's been some really there's like been one bad red zone throw

a game which makes me nervous he just seems uncomfortable that's the thing I don't there hasn't been a game against a good defense where you're like, oh, man, he looks good. He's got it today. He's looking good.

All right, we're going to take a quick break, and then I want to talk about Tua going down and a couple other things, and then we're going to bring in Mark and talk about Myles Garrett. Let's talk about Audible. It's football season. You've got a new favorite player to root for. It's John Cena as Billy Logan in the Audible. It's football season. You've got a new favorite player to root for. It's John Cena as Billy Logan. Nice.

In the Audible original comedy, 64th Man. After a promising college football career, this clear-eyed underdog tried to go big, but instead he went home. Co-starring Anna Klumski from HBO's Veep and an all-star cast of SNL performers, Will Forte, Leslie Jones, Chris Redd, the legendary Jane Curtin. 64th Man is like TV for your ears. Written by Brian Tucker, senior writer at Saturday Night Live. It's the audio comedy series you don't want to miss.

Oh, it's also written by Zach Phillips, former head writer at Above Average and The Kicker. So they sent me this, you know those things that you punch and they bounce back up, those big kind of punching bag things that like my son would go to town on for a tenner? They actually sent me one of John Cena that's like five feet high. And I brought it home and it was like the nicest thing I've done for my son in a year. Just beating the hell out of it on a Saturday.

Hear what happens when you're fourth and inches from your dream, but the game clock is running out. Listen free with a 30-day trial. Go to audible.com slash 64th. Go to audible.com slash 64th. That's audible.com slash 64th. The nicest thing you did for him was give him $80 for candy that you drove him around

to collect in the first place. We didn't drive him around. He worked the neighborhood. Yeah. He worked the neighborhood. All right. Forgot to mention the Philly Special statue.

Yeah. Do you see that there in telecast? I didn't see it. They made a fucking statue mention the Philly special statue. Yeah. Did you see that there in telecast? I didn't see it. They made a fucking statue of the Philly special. You know, there was an over under on how many times it would be mentioned there in a telecast. And it was like two and a half. But I wasn't listening. We went over.

Did they go over? Yeah, we went over. Yeah, they have a statue of Nick Foles talking to Doug Peterson. Wow. And I'm definitely going to Philadelphia and pissing on that thing. Really? Yeah. Is that against the law?

Yes. No, no. Kyle, quiet. No, no. It's not against the law. Kyle. No, do it. Kyle, how much money would you want to go piss on the Philly special statue?

Mark's right here. You got to give me a time. I don't want to get arrested. You don't want to get arrested? What, with the mask on? Philly's special statue. Hey, Philly, act like you've been there before. You're making a statue because of one fucking play.

You know I'm upset. Win some more Super Bowls. You know who should be more upset about this than you? Sylvester Stallone. Yeah. With the Rocky statue up there. What happened to the Rocky statue? It's away from it a little.

With the Rocky statue? The Philly special statue? Two guys having a conversation. Yeah. Let's make that. Yeah. I hope make that. Yeah. I hope the birds are shitting on it. Dak's last 16 games.

How many passing yards do you think? This season, last season. Yeah, how many would you guess? The 10 this year, the last six of last year. 16 in a row. 4,400. Almost 5,000. Really? Yeah. 32 touchdowns, 12 row. 4,400. Almost 5,000. Really?

Yeah. 32 touchdowns, 12 picks. Pretty good today. 49-70. He's the best player on your team. He paid the wrong guy. And we're going to pay him like he is, yeah. You could have given all that money to him

and just kept Pollard, who's the best running back on your team. He made a really nice catch off the turf and turned it into a big gainer today. Who do you like more, Pollard or Zeke? Come on. If you had to pick. I think Zeke is weighed down by the nose rings now.

I think it actually makes him slower, which makes him an even better player. But we're going to have to give him 40 minutes. I saw what I needed out of Dak today. Like, you look at all those games you just mentioned. Those are all Amari Cooper games. And I think he had like 38 yards today. It was all Gallup and Cobb today. You look at all those games you just mentioned, those are all Amari Cooper games. And I think he had like 38 yards today. It was all Gallup and Cobb today. And he had over 440 yards.

This was his best game. And a game they needed. We needed to gain a game on the Eagles today. You guys did your job. Now you'll trounce us next week. I think he's a great... I don't know what happened to your defense, though. No, not good.

But this is what I mean about the play call. It gets me mad against the Vikings. We saw the second and two, third and two, fourth and two against the Vikings last week. If it's not so vanilla, if you got the Kellen Moore, you know, you got it going. Really, it was, I don't want to say dazzling because it sounds stupid, but I was like five times like, oh, my God, that's a great play call there. I can't believe I'm saying that this late. You know how they – I agree with you.

I thought their offense was good, but you know how they have load management in the NBA now? I would do that with Randall Cobb. I would just send Randall Cobb to some island for four weeks. You just need him for January. I see. Right? Or like maybe don't play him against the bad teams.

Just save him for – because the stuff that he gives you I see. Right? Yeah. Or like, maybe don't play him against the bad teams. Just save him for, because the stuff that he gives you is so crucial and I have no faith that he'll be able to stay healthy for two more months.

Interesting. He gets hurt every year. Yeah. I'm with you. But when he's healthy and he's out there, it's like your whole, you have Gallup

and you have Cooper who's your favorite cowboy in a while. Yeah. You glow about Cooper now. He's great. I think we got the best of Amari Cooper. Didn't have a tremendous game today, but just tiptoeing the silence.

How many passes did he drop in Oakland? Like, I think this is the best we've seen him, like, since college even. It's funny. He was in that group of receivers like Alshon Jeffrey. Like, the talented guys, but could never put it quite together completely. But they all went five, eight dollars too high

in your fantasy draft right and then he actually did it yeah because I think he's at least for this season he's been on that Hopkins

sure level of number one guys and he's young too he's right in there great trade that Jerry Jones man he knows what he's talking about he's talking a lot

it's very rare that you could see that a trade worked out immediately. And that one did. And Minka Fitzpatrick did. And I don't know about the rest. Would you rather play, you're going to be the fourth seed if you win the NFC East. Knock on wood for you. It's more fun for the podcast if you're in the playoffs. Thank you.

Would you rather play Seattle or Minnesota in the 4-5 game? You got Kirk Cousins at home and a better team, or Russell Wilson and a slightly worse team, I would say. We beat Seattle last year, so maybe that's motivation for them. I think I'd rather have the Vikings. I just, Seattle is in every close game. Every single close game, they pull it out. I think they're surprising Pete Carroll.

You saw Monday night. They have cutaways to the sidelines. He's like, how the hell is that happening? You just don't want to be close with Russell Wilson in the last quarter. I'd rather play Minnesota. Yeah. Although, today was a good win for them. I think that would have been a way worse loss than it was a good win.

Yeah, for sure. To lose to that fucking Denver team? Come on. Three and seven. He had like 30 yards passing in the first half and then he stepped it up. They missed Thielen.

Say what you will, but that guy needs to come back. Agreed. They're going to pass second week in January. San Francisco's ceiling right now.

They lose last week. It didn't seem like Jimmy was quite ready for a game like that. Neither was their kicker. I was cursing him back and forth, saying things about his porn star girlfriend. I was like, oh, shoot, it's going off. And by the way, the worst beat of the year, right?

If you have the Niners plus 10 or a push, they're up 26-23 with a minute left. Oh, yeah. And they lose plus 10. Right. It's craziness. The Cardinals. Yeah, the Cardinals. And they sent like nine guys on that play that the Niners scored 10. Right. Craziness. The Cardinals. Yeah, the Cardinals.

And they sent like nine guys on that play that the Niners scored on. Yeah. And like Jimmy Jesus. Did the Niners cover on that? Yeah, they pushed. Oh, I cared more because I had their fantasy defense. I was so excited.

I got six points. Yeah, they pushed or covered depending on where you're at. Oh, wow. Can you imagine? And I think that guy was down. You think, like they didn't review it. Basketball, they review that. Right.

Everyone could go home. They'll review it for an hour. Seems like they. Basketball, they review that. Right. Everyone could go home. We'll review it for an hour. Seems like they could have found a clip for that. Yeah. The Jimmy G not coming through in that game on the heels of last week's Seattle game. Would have been bad. Yeah, I think that would have been, that would have become a real narrative. I still don't, I'm not a believer.

I still feel like it's more likely they lose at home in round two or round three and they lose badly like 37 to 10 he throws four picks I don't know if he's ready yet

but that was a really nice last drive they have to run the ball Tevin Colmout is banged up or what but I think they they ran for

80 yards less than right than they averaged no George Kittle either which I think helps then the other thing was the AFC South is wide open again less than right than they average. No George Kittle either. Not that I think Cubs. Then the other thing was the AFC South is wide open again.

So it's possible I've been all over how this is a garbage division. How can you tell one team from another they can't win two in a row? Possible you get a playoff to two playoff teams.

You will get one from this division. You might get two. See, I was going to ask you is it more possible Houston finishes 8-8? Hmm. So they have Houston loses today.

They look bad. Yep. They got Indy on Thursday night. Thursday game, home. Yep. I think Houston's not as good as Indy. Personal opinion. New England the next week, at home.

Home for Denver. At Tennessee, at Tampa. Home, Tennessee. I think it's just as likely that they could go 2-4 as it is that they could go 4-2. I think it's a 500 team. You can't say any of these teams are going to go better than 9-7.

No. And meanwhile, the Colts, I was trying to make a case for Tennessee, maybe, sneaking in there because they're only a game back they get to play Houston twice in the last three weeks but everything else is tough right yeah I still like this Indianapolis team I think they're 6-4 but it's a little

deceiving because they've been really banged up right and Marlon Mack with a broken hand doesn't help yeah that's it doesn't help my fantasy team I need to call Marlon and see if it's possible for him to play with the Cavs. But yeah, if he's not, I actually do like their backup running backs, but Marlon Mack's

better than him, obviously. But I, yeah, I think they're okay. But yeah, we could see an 8-8 division champ in that thing. Then the last one I had for you is, they had a graphic, most giveaways, first five seasons by a quarterback. This is during

the Tampa Bay game. Yeah, it's gotta be. It's gotta be James. Number one. This is since 1970. Is it even close? Jake Plummer. 112.

What? 112 giveaways his first five seasons. In five years? Yeah. Number two. Manning. 111 number two Manning 111 which Manning

do you think it was Eli Peyton no Peyton Manning 111 giveaways where are you reading that from they showed the graphic

during the game I took a picture of it number three was Drew Bledsoe 106 number four Kerry Collins 102

and then number five was Jameis and and it was 97. And then he immediately threw another pick to bump it to 98. So he has six games left to try to catch Jake the Stank Plumber. I think he could do it. 14 left. 14 in six games. It's doable.

Yeah. The funny thing was today, two of the picks weren't even remotely his fault. One of them, OJ Howard, caught it, fumbled it. It fell behind his back. He was carrying it behind his back. And then the guy took it. And it's like, that's a pick on Jameis. Yeah, that's what ends up happening.

Like, you get bad luck. It runs all the way through. Oh, man. He must have seen. What does he think when he sees Trubisky benched? He's like, why? Why hasn't that happened to me? Right.

Well, and he got banged up today, too. He's still, in my opinion, Lamar has been the most exciting player this year. But I think Jameis is number two. What do we call him? The Salvatore Belomo? The Iron Mike? That whole team.

This is what they do. Every time he goes back to pass, I'm on the edge of my seat. Hey, last year, Crown Royal launched the first off-the-field water break to encourage fans of the game to moderate and hydrate to stay in the game, whether you're watching the stadium, watching home, or in a bar.

Have a great time. Enjoy some Crown. Just don't be that person that ruins it for everyone. Make the right call and take a water break. Sal, who made the right call this week? I'll tell you who made the right call, Bill. The Baseball Writers Association of America for voting.

Jacob DeGrom of my New York Mets. Cy Young Award winner. 29 of 30 first place votes. 243 ERA. 0.97 whip. 23 scoreless innings to end the season. Good job by you, Jacob. Good job by you, Baseball Writers Association of America.

We get, we get a ton of, Alonzo wins, the team that never makes the postseason. We get all the postseason awards. A lot of, a lot of trophies for that. Keep it going. 87 win,

Mets team. That's all that matters. So, Mike Trout, Mallory and I argue about Mike Trout winning the MVP over and over again, and how wins shouldn't matter. And I thought of like a great counter argument to this. You both said,

you both say wins shouldn't matter? I just feel like Mike Trout's team won 72 games. So it's like the word says most valuable. What would we say the most valuable for? They would have gone 68. But his war, his win above replacement is still gigantic. Okay, so here's my question to you. Yeah.

If the Angels went 0-162, they lost every game. They lost all 162 games. But Mike Trout had the exact same season. Is he the MVP? I don't think so. I think that war really factors in. But you think the war would get hurt if he was 0-162? Well, yeah, because there's no wins.

All right, so let's say he was 20. I don't understand. Let's say he was 20 I don't understand where let's say they were 20 and 142 yeah I guess there's a number so you're saying I'm saying

what's the threshold where you're like alright this is stupid if they're 50 and 112 I can't argue I can't take your side of it

if I understand it because I'm same place with Jacob deGrom not a lot of wins on this team not a lot of wins for him personally. Cy Young is most outstanding pitcher.

It's delineated. It's like, who's the best pitcher? Valuable and outstanding is different. I see. Most valuable players. This person was the most valuable to his team. But if your team goes 72 and 90, how valuable could you have been?

Well, he has to get something. And the nerds are like, no, no, no. That's stupid, blah, blah, blah. Am I being a nerd? I'll take your side. I went, no, no, I went on Wikipedia and I was like, all right, what is, what's the actual definition of it? And the baseball writers a million years ago were basically like, it's up to you to decide what valuable is. Interesting. So if I decide valuable means it's valuable to the wins of the team and that's how I value it, I'm not wrong. I was told it's up to me how I want to value it. Yeah. No one's

wrong. Everybody can F off. Who would you give it to? Mookie Betts? I would give it to somebody that at least went 500. Could you go 81 and 81 to win the MVP? Could you be in a 500 team? He's only one guy. My

Crown Royal water break this week goes to Matt Nagy, who... Trout's better than Nagy. I'm sorry. He just is. He just kind of broke at the end of that Rams game. And there was something in him that either said, I can't watch another Mitch Trubisky play for the rest of my life. Or if I put him in,

he's going to throw a pick six and I'll never be able to get this kid back. Right. And he pulled them with two and a half minutes left in a game that they had no chance of winning anyway. Gave them the nice hug. It's going to be a whole sports talk moment. The thing is, it's going to lead to a whole week of

what does this mean versus he should bench Trubisky. I did bench him. What did Chase Daniel do? So I think he flipped it before it became a narrative. I liked it. Crown Royal reminds everyone

this football season take a water break and moderate to stay in the game. All right, we're going to bring in Mark Harris. Let's do it. All right, Mark Harris is here. We've never done Guess the Lines. I guess we've done it with House. Yeah, we had House. See, the only other person

who's ever done Guess the Lines? Wow. What an honor. And House doesn't give us any money for it, right? No, you can't put a price on this kind of honor. He should have split it. We did. He should have split it with you. House doesn't pay his debts, which is part of the problem. So, do you want to, Sal, what questions do you have?

Well, I want to know, you put a lot of money down, and we don't really want to say, but it was $91,000. I think we've said it before. But anyway, so we're trying to find out what kind of lunatic you are. He seems fairly normal. We watched the game with him, right? He went to the bathroom and said, he's like, I think this is as good as we're going to get.

Yeah. I was like, he could have a heel turn. We were talking about how bad it could have gone. Yeah. Exactly. But what percentage, I want to know, what percentage is it you hating ALS? Is it you loving Simmons or me or nephew Kyle? Yeah.

What was the pie chart? It was the hope of getting to see nephew Kyle on a cigarette break, which I got. Oh, you got it. He did. He went to the bathroom and Kyle was sneaking one out. So there you go. That's our thing. All right.

Next year, we auction that off. Well, Kyle's, you know, he turns 26 on Tuesday. Oh, okay. He's reflecting on his life. The first quarter of his life is behind him now. Full thing. You're a Browns fan. We were talking about the Myles Garrett thing. I don't know if you heard. Myles Garrett got in some. We were talking about the Miles Garrett thing.

I don't know if you heard Miles Garrett got in some trouble at the end of the Steelers game. You were just filling me in earlier. And this became a predictable hot take tsunami that night and the following day. And my take on it, because we weren't able to talk about it on the podcast. I actually thought it was a little overboard. People were comparing it to the Artest melee in Detroit, which had players charging in the stands and punching fans and fans getting punched on the court

and really almost turned into a full-scale riot. And this was a football fight that ended with somebody had a helm in his hand, lost control for a second, hit it it but then we're slow-mo in the fight it seems so much worse than just this crazy thing I think he should have been suspended the rest of the year I don't know if we need to talk about it for the next 10 weeks but you an

interesting take about miles Garrett just in general yeah well I mean I think I think like it was it was not good there it is yeah that was good and we're it looked really bad

it looks really bad the clip looks really bad um I feel like uh the the the outrage

seems to um make you feel like it was premeditated right and uh and I I really

like I said I liked what Brady had to say which is like like, these things escalate really, really fast. Um, and, uh, and that's what I think it was. Um, but what about him as a guy though? Yeah. Well, I just, I mean, this is, he's, this is the last person you would expect to do this. I mean, he's this like really sensitive, super thoughtful, you know know introverted guy who writes poetry yeah and you know and and and i even though i know this it's really dumb and it looked terrible i mean i really feel for him because i think this is the kind of thing that could it could really weigh on him sure you become the helmet helmet thrower or helmet puncher. Helmet weaponizer?

Yeah. Helmeter? The helmeter? Helmetician? Right. Sal, what do you think? I don't know. Well, first of all, how big is this if it's one of the eight Sunday games

versus a Thursday night game where we had three days to stew on it? I think that was bad for him. I think it was bad for him. The whole thing was bad, obviously, but it's bad for him that it was the last play of the game and what the hell are you doing? You're already beating up this team. All anyone wants to see, Mason Rudolph, we want to see the fifth pick.

We don't want to see this nonsense. And, yeah, we don't need to talk about it, but the punishment is just like, everyone's crazy about head injuries, and rightfully so. This league can go away in a matter of a decade or two, you know, if they don't police that. And if he does connect on that, that's bad news.

So I think the punishment is just maybe people overreacting too much. Well, he did connect, though. Yeah, but really smashed. Mason Rudolph really just bounced off him. He didn't connect like he wanted to. Well, he kept coming back. He kept nosing in there. Yeah.

I was thinking about wrestling in the early 2000s, the Attitude Era, when guys were just getting crushed over the head with steel chairs. They changed it, yeah. But what was that, for three years? You get hit by a steel chair 20 times in the same match. Would a helmet hurt more or less than a steel chair? I think it's like a bowling ball if you could swing a bowling ball.

I think more. You think it would hurt more? Interesting. I do. All right. So we're going to test that out with Kyle after the show. He's going to try it. Let's do it right now.

I thought it was awful. It was shocking. But I actually thought the Hainsworth thing was worse when he stomped on your center's face and opened a 30 stitch cut that the guy has

gonna have for the rest of his life and to me that was more premeditated this was like a fight that was becoming just out of control

and all of a sudden he had the guy's helmet and everybody's swinging and he just made a mistake the Hainsworth thing was almost evil. Right. But the guy had an exposed face and he had cleats on.

He's just like, I'm going to stomp on his face. I actually thought that should have been a bigger deal. But again, we don't, we weren't as worried about concussions back then and stuff like that. So it's changing times. I was worried about opening a huge cut on somebody's face.

Yeah. But yeah, I think it did make me think if Twitter had been around for some of the really awful stuff. Sure. Like the Bruins going into the stands against the Rangers and the Artest melee and Andrew Gulotta, Riddick Bowe and some of the crazy shit we've seen.

This was crazy, but it wasn't like, I didn't need to like have a talk with my son after. I don't want to step on parent corner, but I watched this game with my son. He saved me for that. Well, let me ask you this. As a Browns fan, I don't know if you thought, all right, they beat, pretty good

beat down of the Steelers, division rivals. You might have talked yourself into that they could have a playoff opportunity there to have a Dolphins. And then on a switch, you lost your talked yourself into that they could have a playoff opportunity and have a Dolphins. And then on a switch, you lost your best defensive player. Yeah. And it's just, well, I was telling you before, it's just like you can't ever relax as a Browns fan.

But yeah, I actually think it could be the thing that keeps them from being able to make that run because they've got such little margin for error. But it could go the other way um oh like they're they devote the season to miles they just rally around it um i don't know i really i believe in redemption i think it could be like a really powerful thing and this could go that way can we have two ewing theory subplots working at the same time? The Colts obviously would present that being one. It would be funny if Freddy Kitchens was like, guys, now that Miles is gone, I'm going to actually start making sense as a coach.

I'm going to really try to get this going now. That's working against us. We talked about this and Mark was talking about a Freddy Kitchen, not a fan, right. Yeah. Well, I'm, I do, I have to say like, I really feel for him. I, I, he's a pretty likable character. If you've followed poetry. Oh no, that's a different guy. Yeah. But, um, he, uh, but I, but yeah, I mean, he just, he just, he's been driving me crazy and, um, you know, and I think that, uh, I just, the decision-making is really rough and I feel like it's going to be challenging. But we talked about you're not a foreigner

to devoting money to a good cause. Why not? We were talking about if they pass the hat, as owners often do. To get a real coach? Well, they ask they ask fans to pay for stadiums

bring it to a coach what if you got a who would be a real coach like Harbaugh Lincoln Riley okay Lincoln Riley comes from Oklahoma the Browns owner says

I'm going to need 75 million from everybody I'll go get Lincoln Riley yeah I'd pitch in for that you'd pitch in for that it would well it would be beneficial to my quality of life

I mean as a you, I'm in California. A new stadium isn't going to do me a lot of good. So, yeah, a new coach. I like this idea. I like that you like Freddy Kitchens. Unfortunately, he's the coach of your team and not just like the security guard in your lobby. You're like, I really like Freddy. Good to see him today.

He might end up being the security guard. I think this Cleveland thing, this was the number one draft pick for the team I would have guessed that this happened to. Because they had just been a train wreck all year, a bunch of dumb penalties, stupid behavior, all kinds of things had gone wrong the whole season. And I would have guessed this is the team that it would have happened to. Congratulations.

Yeah. You also, you took the Steelers, who I assume is the team, the number two team you hate the most behind the Ravens, right? Yeah. But you took them off the hook where Mason Rudolph is just an absolute abomination and throws four picks. And you're coming out of that game, he would have been the story like,

oh my God, that dude sucks. He's never going to make it. And instead, Miles Garrett becomes the story. People forget Mason Rudolph. Yeah. Unless you had him in a fantasy, as your fantasy starter Thursday, yeah. I was watching the end of that game. And normally I would have turned it off,

but I was rooting for him to throw the fifth interception. Mm-hmm. To have the DeLome. Right. And that's how I ended up seeing it. I was rooting for him to throw the fifth interception to have the DeLome. Right. And that's how I ended up seeing it. I watched it live. Mm-hmm. And Joe Buck's like, did he hit him with his helmet?

And they show the replay. And it was like, oh my God, hit him with the helmet. Listen, I'm all set on having Jason as my most hated Garrett here. I don't think Miles can jump him. So let's keep it at that. Can we talk about Tua really quickly? Yeah, I think so.

You bet on Tua to win the Heisman. Of course I did. Well, this guy was on pace for having 90 touchdowns. Imagine having 90 touchdown passes in two years and you don't get hardware either year. So I thought, all right, he was kind of close last year. Kyle Amari, they'll give it to him if it comes down to it. And he was an underdog going into this week anyway,

about 7-1 underdog to Joe Burrow, but very sad the way he went out there. So Joe Burrow is going to win anyway. Oh, yeah, right. He was going to win anyway, though. Going into this week, but, you know, there was three weeks left, and you never know with injuries or if you have a subpar game. I think you get to feel like you were cheated out of

this bet you made, but Joe Burrow was going to win it going away. Exactly, yeah. I'll explain this years later to my grandchildren that I had it locked and loaded. The thing with Tua though, on Twitter, they start doing the, this is like the Bo Jackson injury and it's like,

oh. Yeah, right. That's like the worst thing you can see for an injury, but my this is like the Bo Jackson injury, and it's like, oh. Yeah, right. That's like the worst thing you can see for an injury. But my guess is in the last 30 years, they must have better technology to deal with that injury, right? And in the late 80s, they didn't really understand what had happened to Bo Jackson until it was too late. That was part of the problem. I think hopefully he can come back from it.

Yeah. I don't know. That's an interesting thing. And now, like I think you pointed out, that the Bengals are stupid to ever try to win a game now, right? Yeah. It's not going to be tanking. They were trying today.

Bombing for Burrow. What did we say? Blowing it for Burrow? I forgot what we said. I think it was blowing for Burrow. Blowing for Burrow? Blowing for Burrow. I like that. Furrowing for Bur it was blowing blowing for burrow blowing for burrow blowing for burrow I like that furrowing for burrow

or furrow for burrow I think blowing for if anybody can come up with a better idea email us at themiddlebagatringer.com but yeah I think blowing for burrow

they showed Dalton warming up on the sideline when the Bengals had a chance to drive and and tie against the Raiders and then just nothing happened

like nah you're staying there. We know what we're doing here. Sal, who would you pick to win the college football title right now? I think Clemson. Okay. I think Damoswini is like, yeah, you guys, SEC, you work it out. You beat each other up.

That's fine. And we just beat five teams by 40 points or more. We'll see you in December. Mark and I quit on college football once our kids got of the age where you don't have the Saturdays. You, you're seven days a week. You can't, it's in your blood. I keep it going to my blood. I'm betting against these guys

on lock it in. You're on soccer sideline. You did a six team soccer parlay. Yeah, a European qualifier for soccer and a combined score of 31-0, I think I won. It'll never happen again. Wow.

I'm beyond help. Very, very proud of you. We're going to do a little Guest Alliance. All right. How does this work? You know the rule, right? I do. I do.

Was that you before? Were you asking me why I bid and I missed it? Oh, yeah. Why don't you answer that? Because I feel like I've got to answer that. Yeah, were you asking me why I bid and I missed it? Oh, yeah. Why don't you answer that? Because I feel like I can answer that. Yeah. Do you have it on? Kind of ducked it.

Okay. Ducked the question. Well, yeah. And there are a couple of things I got to do here. But one is, so, I mean, I love the podcast. Thank you. Especially this show. And it's an unusual experience as a listener.

Credit to you too and the format. But you feel like you're having a conversation, not just listening to one. And so I'm guessing this is true of your other listeners. But I have, across time, deluded myself into thinking I know you both and that we're all friends. That's crazy talk. I know. Well, and it's crazy, you know,

after years of this going on and being good friends, the fact that we hadn't actually ever met, that was getting weird. And now you're on the podcast with us. And here I am. Yeah. And so, anyway anyway so i figured it would be it'd be rude not to you know bid 90 000 oh that's nice okay just between yeah friends but

there were there were but there were actually there were two two two other things that um one is i i just recently sold a company that i've founded after 20 very long years. And, um, and I suspected that Blythe is my wife was gonna, um, you know, was working on some sort of expensive gift that I would never give myself as a way of celebrating. And, and I, so I said, you know, I don't, you know, I don't know about that. But I think this is something that I might want to do. And it's a worthy cause. And to her credit, so thank you to Blythe.

Thank you. Was she doing the bidding? She didn't do the bidding, but she was like, you know, I'm not very good at doing extravagant things. And she really, you know, she really pushed me to do it. So that was one. The second was my assistant dev who really runs my life. She was doing the bidding. She was navigating the bidding. And then with like five minutes to go in the whole extended play thing, she sends me this photo of this guy with this really elaborate hairdo right um and uh you know said this is the person who's outbidding you and it just i mean this was not not the hair of a good person was it don king he looked a little like that all right and uh and so that just pushed all

my buttons and i had my i sort of had my Miles Garrett he went to FU mode oh Shane yeah I did I had my Miles Garrett my Miles Garrett moment and I lost contact with reality and started swinging my helmet at the other

bidder wow unbelievable yeah all right so we're doing it week 12 Guest Alliance well we're glad you won

Sal's actually winning through 11 weeks actually yeah yeah I mean actually because you lose almost every year that's true, yeah. It's 5-4-1,

Sal is up. I'm 4-5-1, but if... 5-4-2, yeah. I got you. 5-4... Yeah, yeah. It was 11 weeks.

Your tie system is really complicated. Yeah. I don't know what to do about this, but all right. So Mark beats us, we both get losses. That's right.

But if we beat him, it's worth a double win. Oh, is that right? Yeah. Okay. It's a double win. All right. This is a double... And I get a rebate if I win him, it's worth a double win. Oh, is that right? Yeah. Okay. It's a double win. All right. This is a double.

And I get a rebate if I win. This is a double. So this is where two this week. All right. Thursday night, Houston is home for the Colts of Indianapolis. We have Marco first? This is, well, usually I go first, I throw you. We'll have Marco third. This is, well, usually I go first.

I thought you will go third. I got you. What a time for the Colts to be catching the Texans. What a time for the Texans to be catching the Colts. Now, Marlon max out. We don't know if TY Hilton is going to play. If TY Hilton isn't playing,

I would find it hard pressed to believe that the Colts could go in there and win, but who knows? They've surprised us before. I feel like this is Texans by three. Okay. I said Texans by four. Mark? I said Texans by four and a half. Wow.

I was wondering if I should have adjusted this after the math. I got to do math now. All right. Sorry, Mark. It's three and a half so Simmons and I split that okay and you have to go home so he

so we split that Mark it's nothing so that's what I'm saying we should each get well I know you don't like my tie system but now we should each get one right or a half we each get a half

what was it what was the line it was three and a half we do it the way you did it before okay okay yeah I'll add them up What was it? What was the line? It was three and a half. We do it the way you did it before. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

I'll add them up. All right. For the Sunday marquee game, the Google assistant is ready to help you get more done with just your voice in the car at home, everywhere you take your phone. I've been using the assistant for my research. So I can once again, beat cousin Sal as we are guessing the lines.

And I can just say, hey, Google, what will the weather be like in Foxborough, Massachusetts next Sunday at 1 p.m.? There'll be rain and snow there Sunday with a high of 46 and a low of 29. So not great weather on Sunday. So there you go. A little help, hands free. Just say, hey, Google, to get started. Here's the game.

Patriots at home against the Cowboys. This is why you were slow playing the Pats earlier. And I was like, I'm worried about Brady. I'm worried about the offense. You're fine. You're fine. It's because you're playing me. You're 9-1. You don't have to do an imitation. No, you didn't want to end up on the Belichick blackboard. I get it.

I personally think this line should be four, but I get it. I see. I personally think this line should be four, but I think it'll be higher than that because Vegas will bump it because it's the Patriots. I had the Patriots by six at home.

Okay. I went lower. I said five. All right. I had Patriots six and a half. Oh, man. Mark is on the mark.

Six and a half. Exactly. Wow. Beats us. I think he Googled this one. You think he hey-googled this one. You think he hey-googled this one? Yeah. My answers are filed with nephew Kyle.

How are you feeling about this game? I don't know. I don't love it. We gained our game on the Eagles this week. We beat the Lions, and you guys took care of business against the Eagles, and I fully suspect to put up not a goose egg here, but you're going to make Dak Prescott.

I mean, you've given up, you've allowed like four passing touchdowns this year, right? And that one today was suspect. I don't think this is a Dak Prescott game. You're going to have to run the ball, control the clock. Danny Shelton's been playing really good for us this year in the middle, but I do think people can run on the pats. And I think that's how you win this one.

Our secondaries are really good. There are some coaching matchups that are just not going to be overcome. And I think this is one of them. You don't like your chances, Belichick, against the Clapper? No, no. I can't get past that right there. You know, I got an email. Unless encouragement is really the Clapper. No, no. I can't get past that right there. You know, I got an email.

Unless encouragement is really, really needed. Yes, right. I got an email. Oh, man. I saved it. I'm sorry to the person who sent this. Me too. Asking one of our great listeners asked if

Garrett is clapping this year. He said Garrett just stands there like a serial killer on the sidelines and doesn't clap because he knows about the clapper name. Oh, I think he might. Have you seen him clapping this year? Not as much. I think I saw a couple clips in the beginning of the year

and then not again since. So do you think the cl the Clapper name or originated on a GM street with Michael Lombardi and Tate Frazier. And then we, we talked about it. Right. At some point he must've found out maybe he has some 17 year old nephew during, you know, vacation in the summer. Like, Hey, Uncle Jason, you know, there's this nickname for you, the Clapper, and then shows him on Twitter. Or maybe it happened on Twitter, but I don't think he is clapping as much.

I don't remember seeing it at all. Yeah, I think he's like, maybe he's aware of it. Yeah, now he's just shaking his fists. Well, that was what the reader said, that he just kind of stands there like he's having a conniption because he's fighting off the urge to clap.

Well, if that's the case, can we re-nickname him the awful play caller or the terrible time management guy so that he stops doing those things also? That'd be nice. Oh, I found the email. It was from Danny Duggan in Vermont. He said he's gone into a more fitting stare into the abyss with his hands on his hips approach. I think he knows people are on to his clapping.

And then he says maybe he should start clapping again. Oh, interesting. Yeah, he's a little more menacing on the sideline. And then that led to them slamming the challenge flag down. I think he's trying to change his persona. It would be funny if he wasn't coaching at all. He's just so conscious about the clapping that's all he's thinking about during the game.

Like, don't clap, don't clap, don't clap. Right. All right, we got three watchable games this week. No, more than, oh, but you're not counting the Nike. Okay, go ahead. The first one is just fun from a fantasy weirdo standpoint. It's the Atlanta Falcons home for the Tampa Bay Bucks. As I said earlier, I think Jameis is one of the three most exciting players in the league.

I really want to see if he can break Jake Plummer's 112 over the first five years. I think that's an incredible record. And this game is in Atlanta. And I have amazingly, I never bet, I never picked this. I never picked Pickham, but I'm going Pickham here. I'm going Falcons Pickham

against the Bucks is my pick. All right. I went minus four. Atlanta minus four over Tampa. Mark. I went

Falcons minus one and a half. Oh, wow. I get this. It was minus four exactly. Well, you don't think, I mean, they're both three and seven. Atlanta's got some, I mean, I think you have to treat Atlanta like a 500 team right now. Two big wins.

Their defense stepped up. I don't understand that line at all. Really? Why? The Falcons are good now? I'm right. Don't look at me like I'm the crazy one. I'm the only one that's right. So Vegas is saying the Falcons are better than? I'm right. Don't look at me like I'm the crazy one. I'm the only one who's right.

So Vegas is saying the Falcons are better than Tampa? Yeah, I think so. I actually initially had the Bucs by one and a half until today, and then I switched it to the Falcons. They're playing good ball. I don't know what to say, and it's not even like Matt Ryan is lighting it up. They played well for two weeks.

Well, how many Jameis interceptions can you spot a team every week? Be easy on Jameis. The man's giving everything he has. They did beat two pretty good teams two weeks in a row. It's just surprising. It's just,

where did that come from? Do you think if somebody throws a four interception game in fantasy, what does our league say? Minus one for...

I think we moved it to minus two, didn't we? Is it minus two? Yeah, you... No, I wanted minus one for... I think we moved it to minus two, didn't we? Is it minus two? No, I wanted minus six for pick six. You thought that was dumb. Why do you want to do that? Minus four or something like that. Yeah. But do you think four picks, should that be worth like an

extra minus four? Oh, yeah, you get to like a milestone. It's like a minus 12. Yeah. That's pretty good. Next game, New Orleans is hosting the reeling Carolina Panthers, who... What we've seen from what is he, Allen number two? Yeah. Carolina's Allen number

two, right? Josh Allen's Allen number one. Panthers Allen is Allen number two. Allen number two no longer looks like the QB of the future. And maybe Cam's looking a little more appetizing considering he only won the MVP like, what, four years ago? I don't know what they'd do with that. Maybe we'd rather keep him. I have these

Saints at home laying eight and a half to the Panthers. Alright. I had seven and a half. Mark? I have them by six. Alright. The sports-ish guy gets it. At eight and a half, it's nine and a half. Yeah, they're not screwing around

with New Orleans anymore, I don't think. I thought... Do you think that was adjusted because of today? Yeah, for sure. Because I didn't go back and revisit that, I should have.

For sure. And I'm trying to think, these two, they played each other already, right? Yeah. I thought the Saints looked great today. I was really impressed. They haven't played.

You know, the other thing is, Kamara... Yeah, they ran the ball. Kamara looked like Kamara. Yeah. they ran. They haven't played each other. Kamara looked like Kamara. Yeah. He looked like Kamara the Uganda Giant again. Did he have 75 rushing or something? He just looked,

I didn't feel like he always looked dangerous this year. And today I felt like he just seemed dangerous. They got Thomas going. They just seem like the Saints. They seem like they're getting their shit together at the right time. And they didn't have Davenport today. That's what you need. I'm trying to figure out what

boxer would, it's like a nice tune-up match. You want to flex your muscles, you play the Buccaneers. Doesn't matter if you play them on the road or at home, but that's where you want to show up. Well, they didn't have Davenport today. And there was a lot of Bucs momentum. I mean, Lattimore.

Lattimore. Who's Davenport? These are like defensive. Lattimore is better. I'm going toport these are like defensive yeah Lattimore's better I'm gonna say that right now no but there was some Bucks momentum and I noticed on Twitter

Harry your worst creation of all time what's he doing he was he had his four gold nuggets pick and one was Bucks plus five and a half

I was like oh they're done there you go no I love Harry Harry it's all I love I'm just kidding no but Harry's getting very swaggery on Twitter now. You don't have to tell me.

We're debating sending him to Puerto Rico with nephew Kyle, but we don't know if it's going to be good or bad for anybody. Maybe they should hang out for a little bit before we definitely decide to do that. The other watchable game. So Saints-Panthers, I think, is watchable for this reason. Panthers, if they lose, their season's over. It's probably over anyway, but they're 5-5. Division game.

There's been a lot of weird Saints-Panthers games over the years. Saints rounding into form. Saints secretly kind of eyeing, can they get to a one seed or a two seed potentially. And you're ready to cross this Carolina team off. This is now why I remember that I didn't adjust it because this is a desperation game. Yep. For Carolina.

Right now we have San Francisco 9-1 and then we have Green Bay, New Orleans, Seattle all at 8-2. Carolina at 5-5. So they are basically two in the lost column behind the Vikings. Well, Vikings are 8 and three, right? Vikings are eight and three. Carolina is five and five. I got you, yeah.

So I do think there's – I like these NFC South interdivision games. I always feel like weird shit happens. So that line seems high. I would not be putting the Saints in the teaser basket. The other watchable, Eagle Seahawks in Philly. I guess we just can't write off Philly. If they lost this game, I still feel like they're in the mix.

Yeah, they're still around. They still play Dallas, and they're home for that. It was really fun to go against a team that did not have a single reliable receiver to throw to, other than their tight end, who we were just doubling as much as we possibly could. The Aguilar, I mean, to no surprise, that was kind of a catchable ball in the back of the end zone at the end there. It was the perfect throw.

I don't know where. He just never got under it. He had a couple big drops in that game, but their receivers are just so bad without Jeffrey and it's not like Jeffrey was playing that well either. And they bring up Deshaun Jackson

who I think had three or four touchdowns last year. It's like, all right, you weren't relying on that guy, were you this year? Yeah, it's funny that he has become

like they lost Randy Moss in 2007. It's like, he's 32, he's been bouncing around and does he, how many times does he play a full season?

I have the Eagles favored by two and a half against the Seahawks. It's probably like a tad bit too high, but I think they need the game a little bit more. What do you have, Simon? All right. I went the other way. I said Seattle by one. I'm sick of betting against them and losing,

and I figured Vegas is going to give them the nod. Yeah, I went the other way too, and I had Seattle by one and a half. Look at you guys. No, look at you, Bill Simmons. You picked it exactly right. Two and a half. Yeah. Philly by two and a half.

I thought I was being modest there. I feel like the Seahawks, I mean, they're eight and two. I do feel, like I said before, I think they're sort of like a five and five, six and four kind of team without much of a defense. But I'm sort of surprised the Pats would be favored by 3.5 over the Eagles in Philly. That's kind of what I was thinking. I was thinking the same thing. And talk about a teaser game.

You're putting Seattle plus 8.5 on a teaser. You are. Tank coming off what? Did they play this week? No. Yeah, they're half on a teaser. You are. 10 coming off what? Did they play this week? No. Yeah, they're coming off a bye. Yeah, the big Monday win. Yeah.

There you are. Every game comes down on the last drive with them. More overtime or something. The Seahawks, dude, they're kind of the NFC version of the Colts where the win-loss record and what we remember, the numbers don't match up with it. Like the advanced metrics, all that stuff. It's kind of like Russell Wilson

and just kind of the infrastructure that they have versus what the actual talent is. You know who else thought along these lines? NBC, because this was the Sunday night game originally. Seattle and Philly, they flexed it out, replaced it with Green Bay at San Francisco. But here's what they did. And this drives me crazy, and I think only me crazy.

They had three late afternoon games for next week. Jacksonville, Tennessee, Dallas, New England, and Green Bay, San Francisco. This Seattle-Philly game has moved to the early. There's now only two late afternoon games. It's an early game? It's an early game. Oh, no. It's at 10 a.m. on the West Coast.

So what are the two late games? Dallas at New England and Jacksonville at Tennessee. Now, both of those could be blowouts. I understand. My full attention is going to be on Dallas, New England, so is yours. Give us three. I don't want to see 10 a.m. games. You should be happy about that this week, though.

Well, I just try to navigate. It's too many early. I got it. Too many early i got too many early yeah all right all right this is got them this is starting to feel like this ram's bed at about halftime for me i've got a pretty narrow path here from here to no no let's see wait three to two to one okay no no that's plenty of games we're gonna take a break so you can regroup seems like the new buzzword these days is VPN. But what is VPN? It stands for Virtual Private Network, a technology that encrypts all the information you send through Wi-Fi.

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Get Norton Secure VPN so you're connected to online privacy for as low as $3.33 a month with annual subscription. Norton.com slash vpnsimmons. Terms do apply. Okay, we're going to the barely watchables. We have four. Bill's Broncos in Buffalo. Do apply. Okay. We're going to the barely watchables. We have four. Okay. Bills Broncos in Buffalo. Two of the three Allens.

These are basically. Allen versus Allen. There's a lot of Allens. These are the same team. These are the same team. They really are. The Broncos have to look at the Bills and go, what the hell? Why are we three and seven and they're seven and three? This is ludicrous.

Yeah, the better Allen. You just have to have the better Allen. So you're going to talk about Pats to succeed. I'm not even sure that he is the better Allen. I think I was pretty good today. As someone who faced him in fantasy and he put up 43 points against me. Josh Allen's like bizarre. This whole what's happened with fantasy with like Kyler Murray and Josh Allen

and Lamar is the best case example. But these guys are throwing, they're just throwing what we're used to fantasy points wise from quarterbacks totally at the window. Like now it's to the point

where do you even want a pocket passer anymore? No. You almost want the extra six to nine yards a game you're near from a runner. You dropped them earlier now. Right.

Oh yeah. And then there's more of these guys coming right this feels like the next wave of guys will be these running passing dual threat people

they'll all be named Allen but yeah they'll all be named most of those Broncos losses though are on Flacco not the new Allen for sure

you know that was Sal's big Sal rode them all in September I had them as a fifth seed they're going to challenge the Chiefs for the division title and just awful.

It's a tough three. It's a deceiving three and seven. Right. I have the Bills favored by three and a half at home over Denver. All right. I doubled that. I said seven. I have the Bills by four and a half.

All right. See, you're right back in it. It's five. There we go. Needed it. I have a prediction. It gives me hope. It's two to Simmons three, Mark two, and Ied it. I have a prediction. It gives me hope. It's two to

Simmons three Mark two and I have two. I have a prediction. That line is three and a half by game time. You think so? Yeah.

I do. I don't think those coming on Denver there. I don't think those teams are too far apart. And maybe four but I think that line drops.

Yeah. The wise guys will be banging them. What was the line that dropped today? Carolina? What was the one that dropped a whole bunch of points? Let me see. Was it

Tampa? Carolina? Tampa dropped a little bit. Atlanta. It was Atlanta, Carolina. Atlanta dropped to like three and a half, didn't it? Yeah, that was low.

That started out at like six. Next one. Oh, I have to change my guess on this. Oh, no, I'm not going to change it. I'll keep it. Bears-Giants. Yep. Wait, why were you going to change it?

Well, because I thought if they bench Mitch, maybe the line would go down, but I actually think the line would go up. I don't know. If they bench him, it might go Bears minus nine. What's the news here? I'm going to say Bears home for the Giants. I'm going to say Bears by seven because I can't imagine anybody with their quarterback

should be favored by more than seven against any team in the league except for maybe. Tua. No. No. Who's the worst team right now? The Bengals? Redskins? Yeah, I guess they'd be favored by more than seven. The Bengals are not only the worst team,

they're motivated. They're motivated to be the bad team. Yeah, good point. I have Bears by seven at home against the Giants. All right, I said six and a half. Mark, you could change yours with the new quarterback stuff. Oh, I can?

If you want. Well, I also had to cross this out. I'm not even sure. It would be funny if he changed it and went through the guess the lines conundrum of changing the pick you should have just kept. This is what happens. I do want to change it, but I can't

in good faith change it on that because of that move. So I have the Bears by five. Okay. Simmons got it exactly anyway. Seven it is. Okay. Putting that in the teaser basket?

No way. I'm going to say no. No way. Are you kidding me? We're not teasing that. Well, Daniel Jones is better than probably. I don't really. I mean, the Giants are not that good.

They're terrible on the road, too. But the Bears can't score points, so. There are a lot of bad teams. I know Daniel Jones is better, but when have the Bears had a chance to take a quarterback in the top 10? Yeah, it's true. Except for three years ago when they took Mitch Trubisky. Yeah, they passed him. But other than that, when have they had a chance to get a guy like Daniel Jones?

All right. Well, they only need one. You're right. You didn't follow me in that. I got you. I got you. We're an hour in. It's fine.

Who did they pass on? Mahomes. Mahomes and Watson. And Watson. They showed the graphic today. It's like, it's for Bears fans. It's what it used to be like

for me with the Red Sox fans when anything with the Red Sox, you'd be like, and if you remember the Red Sox, game six at Shea in 1986, and there's the ball going through Buckner's legs. And you have Curse of Bambino.

Yeah, and it's here's Babe Ruth. Hey, did you know they sold them to the Yankees? Yeah. That's what makes us the worst. And it was the anvil coming at it and hitting the TV every time. And you knew it was coming. And with the Bears, their fans are watching these games, and it's like they know the Trubisky-Mahomes-Watson graphic's coming.

It's the same thing. They showed it there in the fourth quarter today. They had to. Right. It's like, hey, just Trubisky-Mahomes-Watson graphics coming. They showed it there in the fourth quarter. They had to. It's like, hey, just in case there's one person in the back who might not know, they could have had Watson or Mahomes. Next game, I'm putting this on barely watchable. It's really just because Mark's here. Browns-Dolphins.

Normally a poopfecta, but, you know, the Miles Garrett. They'll show the helmet throw. what is it, a helmet swing? I guess the helmet swing. Helmet swing. They'll throw the helmet swing. I have the Browns laying eight points to the Dolphins. That seems high. Okay.

I said 10. I've seen enough of the Dolphins. And I said eight. Hmm. All right, I'm going to get this because it's 11. What? Come on. That's idiotic.

Let me just add. You know what, Mark? That just makes me nervous. I'll ask you. Our friend, we have a stat here. Where is it? That's really dumb. That is. Ben Folk from ESPN.

The Browns, this is the first time they're a double-digit favorite since? Okay. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Ben, I have to go to the 90s hold on 1994 well no no Webster slaughter and Vinny Testaverde 1994 go with that was that 94 so they build out the last year was 95 yeah right that was yeah there was six and 10. Yeah, okay. Wow, he's really taking this seriously.

I really want to get this, but I'm not going to. I actually, I agree. I think it's 94. 1953. No, no, no, no. 2007, week 17 versus the 49ers. I couldn't even tell you who the quarterback was. 2007?

I can tell you. Oh, good. We'd like to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that would have been Brady Quinn. Really? Brady Quinn. That was his, like, it was near the end of the season.

Look at you. And I think that was his first start, potentially. Wow, and he was a double-digit favorite. I think this is right because... That doesn't make sense to me. Okay, let me, I'll-digit favorite. I think this is right because That doesn't make sense to me. Okay, let me I'll try to contextualize. I'm probably wrong.

I'm looking this up. Derek Anderson was the quarterback that season. DA. And they were in the hunt all the way to the end and they

got knocked out by Cincinnati and so they were out of the playoffs so I think they started Barry Quinn in that game. Wow. All right. Brady Quinn. Did I say Barry Quinn this whole time? No, you said Brady. Cleveland was 10-6 that year.

Yeah. The Niners were 5-11. That's weird. They had Derek Anderson and Ken Dorsey in those years too, but you think it was Brady Quinn that— I think it was Brady Quinn. Can we... They ended up winning 20-7, so they covered.

The coach of the Browns that year, a favorite of ours to bet against. Who was it? Romeo Cronin. That was a Romeo. Who now is probably like, what, three times better than Freddie Kitchens? Yeah.

We made fun of Romeo for three years. You take Romeo right now... Into their Hall of Fame. I can see it. We used to joke about how they would prop up Romeo's corpse during the games. Like, we get a Bernice. Yeah, that's... Wait, I'm just trying to pull stats here.

Wow. Browns. That's absurd. It was Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn. Derek Anderson, not very impressive. 152 yards. Touchdown interception. Brady Quinn came in

in relief I guess but they won 20-7 yeah oh that was Jamal Lewis 1300 yards that year wow coming out of the joint

remember that yeah that's right he was in the joint he came out he was still still good Josh Cribs Josh Cribs

who'd you have for receivers wow this is what a deep who was last time? Kellen Winslow, who's down in jail. Oh yeah. Braylon Edwards,

Joe Jervicious. Joe Jervicious. Man. We had good receivers then. All right. Titans, Jags. No,

more, more. Wait, so, all right. Romeo. Romeo Criddle went 10 and six. Mark.

The guy laid out 91,000. Let him talk brown. Go ahead. Who was the quarterback in 83? What was your favorite Joe Jervisius route? Titans-Jags. This is in Tennessee. I have it as barely watchables because I think Tennessee still needs to be monitored in this

AFC playoff picture because we don't have six playoff teams. I have the Titans favored by six points over the Jaguars. All right. I had Titans by three and a half. That's too low. I had Titans by three and a half. I'm getting this. No, it's three.

What? Mark and I both get this. That's absurd. So Simmons. The Titans are good. Simmons with four. I have four. Mark has three.

The Titans are not. All right. The Titans aren't good, but they're competent. Four, four, and three. Yeah. All right. That's it. Mark, but they're competent. 4-4-3? Yeah, that's it. Mark, I sense that you really want to win this. I have a really unhealthy competitive streak. Well, we could solve it.

I will give you one of my wins for $37,000. We only have five games left. We have three Poopfecta games. Man. Yeah, there's some bad ones. Steelers-Bengals in Cincinnati. So you have Mason Rudolph, a guy who threw four picks in his last start and got hit in the head with a helmet

and tried to fight Myles Garrett without a helmet going against a team that's so bad that I feel like he's going to be favored by six points in Cincinnati. I said six also. Wow. I think the Bengals might mess this up. I think this is a game they could actually win. Really?

I kind of do. I don't think he's wrong. I feel like the Steelers, their offense is really bad. And I just have this feeling it's going to kind of crest and go the other way for them. Anyway, I had the Steelers by three and a half. All right, it is. Simmons and I get this.

It's six. Well, if you're Cincinnati, everybody else has two wins or more except for Washington is one and nine. Are you the one who convinced me that they're motivated to lose every game? But there is something to that coach, that Zach Tao. You don't want to put a

zero on it. Well, here's who they have the rest of the way. Go ahead. Do you want to be Mike or the Mad Dog? You be Mad Dog. Alright, I'll be Mad Dog. Week 12, Pittsburgh. Well, that's what we're deciding. I don't see it as a win. Okay.

That's 0-11. Home for the New York Jets. Oh, boy, Mike. Jets even going to have a team by then? I don't know. I still say Jets win. Week 14 at Cleveland. At Cleveland, that is a loss.

Another loss, Mike. Week 15, home, New England Patriots. Don't even show up for the game. Stay home there, Mike. Week 16, dog, this could be the one, at Miami. Oh, that's the one they're talking about. If this is played in my backyard, I draw the blinds, Mike. I don't even watch it. I think that is the one. I think that's the one they're talking about. If this is played in my backyard, I draw the blinds, Mike. I don't even watch it.

I think that is the one. I think that's the one. Week 17 is at Cleveland. Oh, the first one was home for Cleveland? Yeah. They do have a couple of winnable games there. Oh, come on. What?

Not Cleveland. No, no, no. Week 17 is home against Cleveland. Home against Cleveland. So the winnable ones would be this week and then at Miami week 16. But by the time they play that Miami game, Washington might have won a second game. Washington goes home for the Jets they lost,

home for Detroit, winnable, at Carolina, at Green Bay, home Philly, home for the Giants at Dallas. So I guess the realistic ones are home Detroit, home Giants. I guess. There's a lot of bad teams now. No team wants to go 0-16. No, I know, especially with the new coach.

You're going to get fired up at some point. But you think the Steelers game— Yeah, the new coach hasn't won yet. But this is a bad loss for Tomlin with 10 days rest if they pull it. You've got to talk me out of a teaser with this Mason Rudolph character, but I'm looking at the Steelers now. I am absolutely not letting you do that. All right.

After you just bet the over in a game with Mitch Trubisky and Jared Goff. Did you see Mike Tomlin the night of the Miles Garrett thing? What did he do? They were like, hey, coach, what did you think of the end of the game? I'm not answering questions about that. And so the guy's like, but Mike, what did you think? I just said I'm not answering questions about that. It was like, it's a press conference.

It was the most relevant thing that happened in the game. Maybe one answer. It'd be nice if the Stephen A. Smiths of the world took that tactic. I'm not answering questions about that. I'm not talking about that in this segment. Raiders, Jets. By the way, Steelers, Bengals, both teams could use Colin Kaepernick. Sure.

Right? Steelers, at least, over Mason Rudolph. From what we've seen of Mason Rudolph, Kaepernick's not going to be worse than that. And that seems like a team that he could actually, yeah, I don't think they had a scout there. I mean, who knows? I don't know how this Kaepernick thing not going to be worse than that. And that seems like a team that he could actually, yeah, I don't think they had a scout there. I mean, who knows? I don't know how this Kaepernick thing is going to play out and whether it's, I didn't really want to talk about it because I think it's such a bizarre story

and I don't really know what to think. I know. I don't want to talk about it either. I don't know. I think this, like we talked about, the end of his career was romanticized. Yes. You would think they plucked him out of the league

right after the Super Bowl. It didn't really happen like that. No, we were betting against him pretty brazenly the last two years of his career. Right. But he's better than some of the guys we've met. Sure, but no one that's going for the playoffs right now. Do I think he's worse than Mason Rudolph?

No. No, no. No, he can't be. But yeah, Mallory and I talked about it on Thursday and we were trying to figure out what the hell was the NFL doing and I theorized that somebody accosted Goodell at a cocktail party or a meeting or whatever and basically

bulleted him into doing this and guessed a couple of the people, including Jay-Z, was one of the guesses. Then it came out that that's what happened. Yeah. Jay-Z basically, yeah, Jay-Z basically forced Goodell to do this. I thought he said he didn't like the way it was handled, Jay-Z basically, yeah, Jay-Z basically forced Goodell to do this. I thought he said he didn't like the way

it was handled, Jay-Z. I don't think he liked it after the fact, but I think he was the one that, you know, needless to say, what are the odds

the NFL is going to screw this up? It really like, from start to finish, one of the worst things of the Goodell era, and that's really saying something because you have Ray Rice

and Bounty Gate and a whole bunch of other stuff, but Kaepernick's probably number one. Raiders. Did we guess that one? Steelers-Bengals. Yep. Six.

So what's the score right now? We have four games left. One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five. Oh, you have some work to do, Mark. Five, five, three. How many do we have? Four left.

All right. Okay. Raiders-Jets. This game is in. What do we call Giants-Jets stadiums now? MetLife? Mm-hmm. MetLife. They should rename it Cat Stadium, right?

They have all their stray cat stadium. Oh, yeah, yeah. They have like thousands of stray cats. It's going to be the next- Yeah. That wasn't just a stupid thing? No, that's a real thing. There's like all these stray cats there.

The world's next great infectious disease is going to come out of this. Awesome. From cat poop and bad football. It's going to lead to the next plague. That's not right though. Thousands of manure. No, really thousands. Yeah.

That's what Mallory said. In the stadium? In the bowels of it. Yeah. The whole cat thing. So one of the cats ran out. I have the Raiders favored by three and a half at New Jersey. All right.

I said four and a half. Okay. I've made a scribble here, so I'm not 100% sure, but I think I have the Raiders by three. Okay. You should have said three and a half. I had it at three and a half. Wait, Kyle, can we check and see what I actually put on the a half. I had it at three and a half. Wait, Kyle, can we check and see what I actually put on the record? Because I had it at three and a half, and then it looks like I crossed it.

Oh, my God. Look at it. He's getting closer. Wow. Only Sal and I are left to cheat. Raiders minus three. This is a heel turn. I was worried about it.

All right. Wow. Well, now Simmons is six. So I won that one. Yeah, I think you definitely won over Mark, right? All right, well, let's keep it going. Are you crossing me off? No, no, you don't get a cross off.

Oh, there's three left? There's three left? Matt Nagy just put in Chase Daniel for Mark. Oh, no. No, no. He's hugging Mark right now. He's saying it's not his fault. Three left.

Lions. By the way, Raiders. That feels like they could be 7-4 that's a legit 7-4 if they get through there and I think they should and then the Raiders

go at Kansas City week 13 home Tennessee home Jacksonville at Chargers at Denver I'm telling you that's like

there's a road to 10 wins well then they don't need it I think 9 gets it for them I hope the Raiders make the playoffs. I've enjoyed watching them play. I apologize for all the mean things we've said about John Gruden. They've been really fun to watch. And the thing is, if Antonio Brown wasn't a lunatic

and he'd just been able to play, that team might have been really good. Because offensively, they've been good without him. Absolutely. Too bad he's a nut job. Lions. It's a little bit of a Ewing theory, except they never had him. Absolutely. Tibet is a nut job. Lions. It's a little bit of a Ewing theory

except they never had him. So what is that called? It's like the Antonio Brown theory. Oh, it has an Ewing theory. Yeah, I think he created for himself. Lions Redskins at Washington. Jeff Driscoll

is going to be favored in the NFL game. Jeez. You were scared of him a couple times today, Sal. Yeah, I don't like when he has no options downfield and runs for nine yards. Like, that shouldn't happen.

You don't like when he was just flinging it 50 yards downfield to Marvin Jones. That's not fun either. Just jumping up and just grabbing. Yeah, that's not good. We got to talk with that defense. I could not go higher than four with Jeff Driscoll, so that's where I landed.

Lions by four. I could not go higher than four with Jeff Driscoll. So that's where I landed. Lions by four. I said the same. I said Lions by two and a half. You hit it exactly. Wow. Here's the comeback start. All right, here we go. Unbelievable.

Cardiac kids. This is what made him a Browns fan. Brian Seip. We're going to Sunday night. Flex game. Two very handsome quarterbacks. Oh, yeah. Jimmy Garoppolo Aaron Rodgers

The game will be played in San Francisco. Levi Stadium Home of relative home of Mark. General region. We'll count it.

I have the 49ers. I am hitting this exact 49ers by four. Okay. I said two and a half. Oh, wow. Two and a half. So you think Vegas will think Green Bay is better than San Francisco? Okay.

I said 49ers by four because of what I think Vegas thinks. I would probably be more with Cousin Sal what I think the Lions should be. But I said 49ers by four. Well, you should have been more with Cousin Sal because I said two and a half and it's three. I edge you guys out there.

Yeah, I think Green Bay is better. I like this teaser. You're not going to like this. Green Bay to 13? Well, how about plus nine? And how about Seattle plus eight and a half? I know two road teams, something screwy could happen. What does plus nine get for me, though?

The Niners are going to beat them by more than a touchdown unless something stupid happens at the end. I think the Packers are going to win this game. Yeah. Mike Pettin, he's good at pass defense. I know that you guys are big Jimmy Garoppolo fans, but I really feel he may be

pretty overrated. I am a big Jimmy Garoppolo fan just because, Kyle, what is he? A Super Bowl champion. He's a goddamn Super Bowl champion. He's a Super Bowl champion is what he is. So is Aaron Rodgers. I think this is a special gambling opportunity for us.

Yeah. But I don't think we need to tease. I think the Packers are better. And I think people think the 49ers are better than they are and they think Jimmy's better than he is. And I'm taking Rodgers against him 100 times out of 100. National TV Sunday night game. Let's do it.

This line probably drops. I thought it would start at four and drop down to three, but now we're already at three, which makes me think it'll end up being Packers two or Niners two and a half. What's the most you've bet on a game ever? Really? I have to answer that? No, you don't have to answer that.

What do you mean? Of course he does. So you do wager on football? No, no, no. I have not bet on anything. I've not bet on a game since college. Shame on you. I can't believe I'm sitting next to you.

I hate to hear that. Anyway, I'm going to sidestep the question. All right. Yeah. Monday night. So, Mark, thanks for playing, but this is Simeon Simmons, right? 6'6". 6'6", and what did I wear?

6'4". I have four. Wait a second. Hold on. It's me and Simmons, right? 6-6. 6-6 and what did I, where am I? I'm four. Wait a second. Hold on. You could beat me here, Simmons. I just want to make sure this game is where I think it is. It's at the Rams. Okay.

Because I knew it was at the Rams, so I want to make sure it wasn't in Mexico or Paris. No, we're done with those. Yeah. I think the Ravens are going to be favored by three points against the Rams in Los Angeles. I said three also. Mark?

I said three. It's two and a half. That's nice. We all get on a win. And we tied each other. We tied each other? We tied. And we beat Mark by one or two.

I don't know, three. I should have split the vote. I should have somehow. So we each get a win. I should have been a factor somehow. Seven, seven, five. Yeah, we each get two wins. There should be a runoff. Hey, do you want to show the Deacon Jones thing?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were talking about... They came up the Mount Rushmore. They do this every Sunday night. They have the Mount Rushmore of every, I guess, home team. I don't know what it is. And the Rams came up

and it was Deacon Jones, Merlin Olson. Are we sure? Are we sure I can show this? Why not? Why? Okay. It's on YouTube.

You're not endorsing it. No. Well, it was, so when we worked for Kimmel Show, Carolla always talked about this, this Deacon Jones interview. I don't think we can show this I think people get mad what are they going to get mad about

can I leave this part of you saying we can't show it Carolla always used to talk about Deacon Jones Deacon Jones gave this NFL films interview and said something absolutely insane and it would run in these shows and he would be like,

I swear it happened. And we were like, get the fuck out of here. And he was like, it happened. So then YouTube started. Here's the clip. Deacon Jones head slap. Deacon Jones head slap. The head slap was to do two purposes. One was to give myself an initial head start

on the fast rush. In other words, an extra step. Because any time you go upside a man's head or a woman, then they have a tendency to blink their eyes or close their eyes, and that was all I needed. A man or a woman. They have a tendency to close their eyes. So Corolla would tell us about that for years, and we would be like, there's no way they ran that in NFL films.

Yeah, it was on NFL films. We could talk about it. Yeah, it was on NFL films. It was a show about how fearsome Deacon Jones was. And then YouTube is created in 2006. And we're waiting and waiting for years. It was like, he's got to be full of shit. There's no way this actually happened in a clip.

And then there it was. Yeah. he's got to be full of shit. There's no way this actually happened in a clip. And then there it was. Yeah. I could just see some lowly producer after that sound, that audio clip and say, ah, you can, you know,

we could, you want to rephrase that? We can get that again. Talk about the head slap. Like, nope. Man or woman. I'm sticking with it.

All inclusive. It's like he had been doing years of research. Yeah. Jesus. So, you realize you've only played against men, right? No? Okay.

So we thought about this today because they do the Rams Mount Rushmore. And they have Merlin Elson, Kurt Warner, Marshall Falk, and Deacon Jones. And Sal and I just started laughing. We're doing Deacon Jones. We think of this crazy NFL films clip that for some reason they decided not to ever edit out. Even in less politically correct times. There are these NFL films producers

like, hey, should we let this Deacon Jones clip go? Man or woman? Man. By the way, no Dickerson on that Rushmore, huh? I felt like they should have chosen

between Merlin Olsen and Deacon Jones. Yeah. Although we weren't there. I don't know how good those guys were. I think without Father Murphy, Merlin Olsen's not on that Mount Rushmore. Is that who he was? Father Murphy?

He was Father Murphy, and then he was Little House on the Prairie. Oh, yeah. But then they also had Fred Dreyer, who was Hunter. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, they had. And then Deacon Jones, the most politically incorrect NFL films moment of all time. Okay.

So it's 5-4-3 now, heading into week 13. Mark, are you going to stick with your QB next week, or are you just going to read the game tape and try to learn from your mistakes when you go against us next week, but you're just in your car. I don't know if I'm going to do it anymore. That's it. I'm going to stiff it down. Yeah, I'm not.

It's much harder than you thought, right? Under the lights. It was bright lights here. Yeah, but I feel like that was respectable. No, that was good. No, that was good. For a non-professional. Amateur stuff, though. Yeah, it was good. No, that was good. For a non-professional. Amateur stuff.

Yeah, it was good. It was nice seeing the amateur get in the ring with us. But, you know, I'm going to be really upset about it for a while because I'm... Anyway, you don't want

any part of what's going on in my head. Okay, good. It's not pretty in here. Well, the good news is... Should we slap you upside it, man or woman? Yeah, watch me blink.

Okay. The good news is you get to be in the next segment, which is brought to you by CarMax. The better way to buy a great used car. CarMax, there's rumors about them wanting to bring Nephi Kyle in with the budget. Dude, you heard about this? Yeah, I heard about it.

About what? They're going to give Nephi Kyle a budget, and he was actually going to get a car through CarMax. Really? I heard I was riding the bus. I don't know. Nice. So that would be pretty exciting. At least get him

like a tripped out scooter or something. No, don't do that. They might do that. Don't do that. All right. Well, the good news for Kyle, they only sell the best used cars.

Every car in their carefully chosen inventory is CarMax certified. They rule out millions of cars with their vetting process and select only the best to become CarMax certified. CarMax has your back

with a worry-free limited warranty for 90 days or 4,000 miles, whichever comes first. Stop by your local CarMax for written details and discover how easy car buying can be at CarMax. Sal, you have the floor. All right. I don't have a great one, but, you know, we talked about it, Mark. We discussed, like, pushing our favorite teams on our kids. And he, like me, is not from the city of the team that he roots for. You were never born in Cleveland.

You were a kid, and you liked Brian Seip and everything, and I was a Cowboys fan. I liked Danny White. And we have forced our children to watch these teams. And that makes sense to a lot of people. Maybe it's too harsh, but where does it end? So I played football in high school and I wrestled in high school and I wanted my kid to play football. It's a great team sport. I love the smell of the grass, everything about it. It's awesome. If we can get it past his mother to agree, let's do it. So he played football.

He had a great time. I also wrestle and I never told him I thought he should wrestle, but he convinced the kid on the football team to go out for the wrestling team. And now he's finding out it's hell. And it really is. Did you wrestle? It really is. It's tough. It's the toughest practice.

You have to be in shape. You're wrestling around with sick people all year long. I just remember playing basketball in high school and college. And the wrestlers running the stairs with sweatshirts and the heaviest possible clothes and they just looked like they were in the seventh circle of hell.

You're sucking weight and it's three and a half months long. Nothing seems fun about it at all. I actually think it stunted my growth trying to lose weight. I'll blame losing 15 pounds for four weeks in a year on that. Now he's doing it and I feel like to be like me and I feel bad cause I never had this talk with him. And he's like, boy, I'm, I'm getting my ass kicked. And I was like, yeah, that's, what's going to happen the whole first year. You don't have any

skills. You don't know any moves. You're going to get beat up. And he's like, well, I think I'm just going to do this for one year. And now I feel awful. I'm like, right, you're never going to get a chance to get good if you only do it for one year. But I would hate for you to do it for more than one year because it's the toughest workout. You get like, you get discipline that like the army could teach you and stuff. And you can handle yourself in a fight for the most part if it ends up on the ground. But you also end up with amphetago and other terrible diseases when some poor school doesn't wipe their mats down and you have like big red marks on your, on your neck for all of February. So I don't know what to do. I don't know how honest we need to be with our kids for like, do you have to have a checklist of, all right,

here's all the things I've done. Here's all the things I've known for. Here's what I want you to avoid. Like, I wonder if we're at that stage, if that's a good way to go about it. But I feel bad that I've now done this to this kid. That's all. Does he like it though? I don't think he likes it, but it's also part of the curriculum. So you're either taking football or you're taking wrestling. You're either doing football workout in the off season where you get credit or

you get wrestling credit. You have to do some kind of sport. Yeah. That's what it is. So now you'll get credit for that. And he's, he's, I think he feels like he's going to disappoint.

See to me, wrestling and gymnastics are very similar in this respect. If you talk to people who are grown adults who did it when they were in high school or college and you'd be like, would you do it again? If you had to be like, Oh God, no. and you'd be like would you do it again if you had to like oh god no yeah oh i would never do it yeah and i think that's important for kids to know it's so good on so many levels but i just like i just feel bad i don't know i don't know you just mark you go go ahead mark i don't know what this is that

that was a great corner um i um, so this will be about my daughter, but I want to, if I can set the stage talking about both kids, cause I'm, I'm only get one shot at this. Yeah. You know, so anyway,

so I've got two kids, what a nine year old boy named Freddie, um, and a 11 year old daughter named Olive. Nice. Um, you named your son after the Browns coach. I'm going to have to change his name now.

He named his daughter after the next Browns coach. So anyway, so Freddie, so he's like a blast of serotonin hanging out with this kid. He told me this week that he took some sort of personality test at school, I guess, this year where they figure out what kind of animal you would be. And he turns out he's a St. Bernard, which makes perfect sense. He's like super affectionate, cuddly, and really physical and lacks spatial awareness. so he's constantly banging into things and knocking over lamps and stuff like that but just anyway very happy kid goes to bed humming wakes up humming that's my son my daughter on the other hand um she's hilarious but

doesn't fully know yet yeah that she hilarious. The opposite, unsurprisingly, as siblings often are. She's the opposite of my son. She does not wake up humming. She wakes up moaning. She complains a lot about it being sunny. So, like, we live in California where it's sunny 300 days a year, and she wakes up every morning hoping for rain. Moved to Seattle. She's a self-described indoor person. In her mind, there's just like no reason to go outdoors. So that's who we're dealing with. So she's in the sixth grade and she's in Montessori. And in Montessoriori they have this thing it's like

called your big work so each year you have something you work on all year long and this year it's doing an immersive study of

an inspirational figure and you do all kinds of things she writes a report she you know gives a presentation and character, all that. Miles Garrett. Here it comes. Anyway, so the selections so far in the class are like Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman.

So Blythe, who's a good mom and she's leaning in, she comes to me and she's like, we really need to get out in front of this. I just feel like if she picks the right person, you know, it could really inspire her to think bigger thoughts and to learn about, you know, selfless leadership and social impact. And so she sits Olive down and asks, you know, who are you thinking about? I saw that so-and-so picked Michelle Obama. And are you thinking about going that route? Like an accomplished woman or somebody that stands up for others? And so Olive sits back and strokes her chin and says, I'm thinking about Garfield. Garfield? I really relate to Garfield.

Not the president. No. Not James Garfield. No. The cat. And she's like, I mean, mommy, he likes lasagna, and I like lasagna. In fact, we like all the same kind of food, pretty much.

We both love watching TV. He's, you know, lazy and okay with it, like me. He loves practical jokes. I love practical jokes. So this is who inspires my daughter. After 11 years of our best parenting efforts, these are her values. Unhealthy food, watching television, laziness, and practical jokes. I think you could do a lot worse than Garfield.

Yeah, I think our kids would have come up with something a lot worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think. Richard Jewell. Richard Je yeah. I'm trying to think. Richard Jewell. Richard Jewell. I'm not sure. Deacon Jones. I have a, for my parent corner, I'll make it quick

because this is a long parent corner segment. As I said earlier, I watched the Miles Garrett helmet swinging thing live, waiting for the game to end and flipped over to basketball. I wanted to see if he wanted to throw the fifth pick. And my son just happened to come down. My son has the best timing of all time. Comes down with a minute left in the game and he's watching it. And the fight happens and they show Garrett swinging the helmet and Joe Buck is reacting like this is, you know, like a boat is sinking in the Hudson river or something. He's so, the gravest tones. And Troy Aikman's just appalled.

And it's just this appalling moment. And my son is laughing. And he thinks this is like, he's like, who's this guy who did this? I love this guy, Miles Garrett. He immediately thinks it's like professional wrestling. So then he's asking, how can I get a Miles Garrett jersey? Would it be weird if I wore it to school?

My two favorite players are Miles Garrett and Montez Burfecht, which is actually true. He has watched Montez Burfecht on YouTube and now wants to go as Miles Garrett for the next Halloween. He wants to wear a Browns jersey and carry around a Stewards helmet and

just go around our neighborhood as Miles Garrett. He loved this. He thought it was hilarious. He should go on a tour of talk shows. This would be a very original take. Yeah, he really would. Just coming in, bringing in his helmet. That's great.

Well, maybe he has 350 days to maybe forget it before the next couple weeks. So Miles Garrett, you have one fan out there. Thanks to CarMax. Remember, CarMax only sells the best used cars. They rule out millions of cars with their vending process. Select only the best to become CarMax certified. With over 200,000 stores nationwide and more than 50,000 CarMax certified cars to choose from,

they make it easy to find the perfect car for your family or maybe even nephew Kyle. They have your back with a seven-day money-back guarantee at CarMax. No haggling. Never any pressure. Buy a seven-day money-back guarantee at CarMax. No haggling. Never any pressure to buy. Drive worry-free for 90 days or 4,000 miles, whichever comes first. With the CarMax limited warranty, start the next search for your next car at CarMax.com. We should mention before we go, our friend John Carlin, who we did this for. Yeah.

And a really nice thing that our friend and our cousin, Jimmy Kimmel, did to raise money for AOS, including Mark's very generous donation, which I hope was worth it. Oh, completely. I mean, I'm very happy that it goes to a worthy cause. But it was also, for me, just a great experience. Really fun to watch you guys do what you do. Yeah. This has been great. So, thank you.

Well, thanks to Charity Buzz as well. And special thanks to the cuz and our other Cuz and John Carlin as well. Thanks to State Farm. Thanks to Mercari. Are you ready for Sell Your Shit Sunday? I think I'm ready, yeah. You guys ready for that or what? Well, we have a week to get ready.

It's a day to sell the stuff you don't use anymore created by Mercari. Mercari is a selling app that makes it fast and easy to sell almost anything. Just take a few pics, add a description, and boom, your item is listed. Download Mercari and sell your shit today. The day may be made up, but the money is real. That's Mercari, M-E-R-C-A-R-I. And thanks to Norton's Curve VPN. Mark just sold this company.

Oh, no, that was a different company. It's made by Norton, a brand backed by one of the world's largest civilian cyber intelligence networks with over 30 years of experience. No complicated setup. Log in once. It protects your connection right now.

Get Norton Secure VPN at norton.com slash vpnsimmons. $3.33 a month with an annual subscription. Go to norton.com slash vpnsimmons. Terms do apply don't forget about the book of basketball 2.0 podcast

two more podcasts coming can you guess the athlete uh it's not Dagan Jones it's a current player a current player yeah

two podcasts about somebody who is really good right now I'll leave it I'll leave it with that go to the book of basketball 2.0

podcast subscribe there thanks to Mark Harris this is really fun Mark just mentioned if CarMax doesn't come through he's buying I'll leave it with that. Go to the Book of Basketball 2.0 podcast. Subscribe there. Thanks to Mark Harris. This was really fun. Mark just mentioned if CarMax doesn't come through, he's buying a nephew Kyle with Tesla. Hey now. Oh my God. That's nice of him.

This is unbelievable. CarMarks. Mark Harris, thank you. Cousin Sal, thank you. CarMarks. See you next time. It's a new company.