The Bill Simmons Podcast - Buffalo’s Revenge, Washington’s Disgrace, the Endless NFL Season, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: December 27, 2021

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Cowboys drubbing the Washington Football Team, Eagles-Giants, the Bills’ win over the Patriots, 49ers-Titans, the Texans’ upset win over the Chargers, Jaguars-Jets, Seahawks-Bears, Browns-Packers, Rams-Vikings, Cardinals-Colts, the playoff picture, and more (1:44). Then they guess the lines for NFL Week 17 (38:01) before closing the show with Parent Corner (1:03:20). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We made a music documentary series for HBO. It's called Music Box. We did six films. They are all available on HBO Max right now. Stream them at your leisure. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too.

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some podcasts this week. I know it's the holidays. I know we cut back a little bit, but football, basketball, a little pop culture. It's all happening. I don't think we're going to have new rewatchables this week. We might take the week off and come back strong first Monday in January 2022. Stay tuned. Might

change our mind too. Still circling limitless with Bradley Cooper. Been heavy circling. Sent many scouts there to check it out. Speaking of checking it out, on Fando Sportsbook, we ended up not doing an underdog parlay of the week, but I think we moved to the alternate parlay, alternate line parlay that we did for Million Dollar Picks, which did really well this week, but I think we moved to the alternate parlay, alternate line parlay that we did for Million Dollar Picks, which did really well this week, by the way. If you're a Million Dollar Picks fan, we succeeded this week. And this was the last bet we had. It was an

alternate line with Miami. I think it was plus three and a half and then the under all the way up to 44 and a half, Miami and the Saints. So go check out FanDuel Sportsbook if you want to see the boost for that. coming up on this podcast, the cuz and I are going to talk. What else? Football. Is this season ever going to end? That's next. First, our're taping this. It is 8 p.m. Pacific time.

Ah! I can't wait. I'm so excited. I'm more excited about your game than mine. But go ahead, go ahead. Do the intro. Well, your game is just in the fourth quarter. It's 56 to 7 as we're taping this.

We did the rarely seen jump the gun because it's such a blowout. You're humiliating the Washington professional football team, which, by the way, is impossible because they're constantly humiliated. Who gets humiliated for the Washington professional football team? I was saying they need to force, the league needs to force them to change their name again because they don't resemble a football team.

It's even more, it's as offensive to some people as the other nickname was. But, God, I love beating Dan Snyder's team. I'm sorry House isn't here to join us. What happened to House? Did you check on him? I think house probably isn't even watching this game. I checked out, uh, Daniel Snyder. Do you know how long he's been the owner of Washington? This is a good one. It's way longer than you, than you guess. Uh, 17 years? 1999. 23. Yeah, this is his 23rd year.

Wow. His lifetime record now is 155 and 211 with a tie. There's two playoff wins total during that stretch. And they've had at least three investigations. Just recently there in the Washington Post, a former employee wrote a whole piece about wondering why the report hasn't been released yet of this whole investigation they did where the league was like, well, we didn't want to, you know, there's some witnesses. And it's like, well, you could just black out their names and we could have all the information. Right.

You're doing that. What a pox. Is three investigations in 23 years a lot by NFL owner standards? I figure the overrun, there's like one and a half if you last a quarter of a century. Yeah, that's true. Well, they're definitely over. Yeah, and this investigation is going on and on. But unfortunately for us, because of this COVID and how crazy it's been,

we've had to watch them twice in six days. Yeah, that's true. Right, right. Tuesday to Sunday. Yeah, yeah. They're really bad. I mean, people were screaming about how they're going to give Dallas a run for their money they beat them twice

last year I'm not going to I I'm pretending to be excited here but I was looking back we haven't beaten a team over 500 and since Daniel Snyder took the reins over Washington so that is going to be a little bit of an issue well that was I was seeing

their halftime show. They're talking about how good Jalen hurts look today against the giants. And it's like, can we, can we not get excited about how anybody looks against the giants or Washington? Let's throw those out. I'm feeling a little like you were feeling probably like seven or eight years ago when there wasn't even a prospect of a good quarterback in the division for the next couple of years. Now you can say that Philly is going to go hard after Deshaun Watson, and that'll

be the end of that if they get him. But boy, it's like a real giddy feeling, like almost uneasy. Like this never happens in Dallas. Like I know winning the division is only part of it. Go beat Green Bay, go beat Tampa and all those other teams that are better than you or deemed better than you. But is it did you used to feel this way too? This is something else.

Well, you clinched the division before this game today. Right. That's pretty nice. It's usually nice when three weeks, four weeks left in the season, you're taking care of business. Also, you guys are heroes tonight to all these people who had fantasy playoff matchups tied to the Cowboys defense or Dak or Zeke or whatever receivers you had scored today.

The Dallas defense probably swung a crap load of matchups. So things are feeling good. We have had these role reversals on this podcast with Dallas and the Patriots. I think this is like the fourth one where now you're happy and I'm miserable. Yeah, I mean, it's almost exactly the same, except we haven't had to cheat as far as I can tell to do it. So that's always a plus. I like that.

I want to talk about your team. Let's do it. Let's go ahead. I'll let you, I don't know. I mean, you have to give the Bills credit. You have to figure something out here. Have you thought about what you're going to say? Yeah, I have.

Okay. We got our asses kicked. I actually thought the score should have been worse I thought it should have been more of a blowout I thought we were lucky to have it only be an 11 point game or whatever the final score was 12 point game Allen was

magnificent Buffalo did the thing when you play Buffalo you're always hoping they're not going to do which is just Allen's going to touch the ball on every play I think he had 49 passes and 10 rushes. So he had 59 touches in the game. And I don't know. That's what I don't want.

What I want is them handing off to Zach Moss and Singletary stuff like that. So I thought offensively they looked great. I thought he was awesome. And then we sucked. We've sucked now two games in a row where they've had two playoff teams that they had to at least show that they could tread water with and came out in each first half and sucked bad penalties, not converting on

third downs and not being able to get stops. Like it doesn't, I don't know what happened since the bye, but the team fell apart. I love it. I love everything you just said now, but what does this, what does this, what does this mean for the future? Because I think in a way Belichick, who was great in the post in the press conference, did you see afterwards when that woman asked New Year's resolutions were, I mean, the old Belichick, this is a subdued, what balls she has on her. And he didn't even try to deflate him, but what balls she has to ask. And then he went through the things that he could have said. And he wisely, this is a new man we're dealing with here new person altogether he would have

ripped her head off in the past but he's subdued this is subway bill and uh i think subway bill is protecting mac jones subway bill i think this is why he only threw three passes a few weeks ago against buffalo he realizes this season is long. He saw something in his quarterback. You're now looking at, you're going to make the playoffs. You're going to have the worst quarterback in the playoffs. Oh, stop. Don't do it.

You know you are. No, don't turn this into first take. Who's the worst AFC? Who's the worst AFC quarterback? He's a bad game. He's been good all season. Tell me who. They're protecting him

at this point in the season. It's too long for a rookie. He'll be good. He'll be fine eventually. But this year, I think you're shot. First of all, first of all, they didn't block for him the whole game. And it's not like Buffalo is the 85 Bears. So I didn't understand that.

Second of all, drops, receivers in the wrong spots, and then he would make bad plays too. I thought everybody was bad. I'm not hanging in on Mac. I didn't think Mac was good. I thought that was his worst game since week three. No, no, no. Look at it.

He has 47-yard first halves across the board. You'll see in the last month. Believe me, I fell for it, too. And he's going to win Offensive Rookie of the Year because no one else stepped up. But they are protecting him right now. Who's the worst AFC quarterback? Teams. Well, especially no Aguilar because Aguilar got knocked out in the Indianapolis game.

Who's our only fast guy? Well, he's our only fast guy. He was our only fast guy. Buffalo just moved everyone up. I mean, they were basically like in a goal. It looked like a goal line defense practically and they're blitzing and they were just, you know, 10 yards and in. And nobody was getting open.

And if somebody was open, they would drop a pass. Like when Nikhil Harrod dropped that one, that was a huge one. I thought that looked bad and I'm really concerned. Because you never want to peak in October. Right. Which I think the Cardinals did. I think the Patriots did to some degree.

Schedule might have played a little bit of a factor. But you want to be the team that's looking like Buffalo did in that game. Where Buffalo, I was thinking about, I watched that Tampa game, which was the game after the Pats game. And in the first half, it looked like the Pats had broken Buffalo, right? Tampa's takes a huge lead on Buffalo. Buffalo's a mess. Right. And then the second half, they kind of found something where it was like, Alan, just basically, all right, Josh, just try to get us back in this. And now that's kind of how they play. Like I saw one of the stats I saw. I actually wrote some stuff down

so I'd be prepared. He was so good, Alan. First downs. They had 28 first downs that were just first and 10. And they threw on 20 of them. Which is, if you're betting on Buffalo

or you're rooting for Buffalo, that's what you want. You want to throw on first down. He's so dangerous in the shotgun. And he can be a running back whenever he wants. That third and two play or third and one. I mean, that was key right there. want to throw in first down he's so dangerous in the shotgun and he can be a running back whenever he wants that third and two play or third and one i mean that was key right there when he made like three moves to sidestep the defender i forget who it was but that when he got like eight yards out

of the deal that was that was like josh allen saying i don't want to hear this mac jones is better than me or this team is better than me they i mean that was a crushing that was uh i'm sorry it wasn't cowboys-Washington. We'll never say anything like that again. These eyeballs will never witness anything like that. But I'd be worried about, I don't know, who do you even want to play in the playoffs now? Who matches up with you?

The question for me is, was the strategy wrong? Did Allen play an awesome game and you just got to tip your hat? Or was that a game that if you played that game 10 times, Buffalo wins nine of 10 or 10 or 10, because we came out, we did the nickel trying to see if we could single basically cover everybody. And that freaking slot receiver, um, Buffalo destroyed us

and he destroyed miles Bryant, the whole game. Who's been really good at covering slot guys, but every time they needed a McKenzie would get open and get another first down. It is unbelievable, right? I want to get into this when we talk about other games, although I'm happy to just stop at this game and then we'll go for an hour, but whatever the common narrative is, just

steer clear of it. Oh, Beasley's out. Gabriel Davis is out. They're going to have a tough time throwing the ball. Forget it. The Colts have five offensive linemen out. Yeah, you got to go against them. Like almost every common narrative like went down today. What was it? Oh, Houston had 22 guys out on Friday. Don't don't bet them for sure. They pull off the upset. It's weird. Same thing with Seattle, Chicago. I don't know. It's You just have to stay away from the obvious stuff. Oh, everyone had the under in that Seattle, Chicago.

As soon as they saw a bit of snow, everybody's like, oh, I'm going under. Went over. Arizona was the worst one because Indianapolis lost their entire offensive line. Yeah. And at some point, that should matter. During the game, too. Yeah, you're known for your offensive line. You've lost all your starters.

And somehow, they're still a little bit of black and Arizona was just as bad as ever. Let me ask you about the Bills for a second because we see this happen in early December, mid-December, but the season's longer this year. It started later. So I guess now Christmas would be the demarcation line now. They only, other than Allen,

Singletary was 12 for 39 rushing the ball and Moss was 3 for 12. It didn't really matter because they were 28 for 114 the whole time. They kept getting third downs over and over again when they needed it. And the Pats would help them out with like, oh, you might go for it on fourth and seven. Let's jump off sides and make that a fourth and two for you. It was a bunch of moments like that.

From the shotgun, too. From the shotgun. A hard count from the shotgun. The center ripped his head up and Barmore was completely confused. But can you win this way in the playoffs for three or four straight rounds if your running backs just aren't good?

If your best running back is your quarterback? That would be the question I was asking. Because the Bills, everything else, I was worried about their toughness. I didn't think they were tough enough. I felt the same way about the Rams. Those were the two teams where you looked at them and you went, not tough enough.

You can push them around. They pushed the Pats around today. I thought they were kind of bullied the Pats a little bit. But without a running back who you can really rely on, on like, I don't know, a third and four, second and eight. Can you get me to third and three? They don't have that guy. And I don't know if that third and four, second and eight. Can you get me to third and three? They don't have that guy.

And I don't know if that's a hole or not. It feels like it is. Oh, of course. I think it's definitely difficult. And, you know, people are saying, well, just like we thought, Bills and Chiefs, those are the teams to beat in the AFC. Not so fast. I think if the Titans get Derrick Henry back,

they solve that riddle that you just presented. You're going to be able to run whenever you want. Jonathan Taylor is scary as shit all the time. The Colts aredle that you just presented. You're going to be able to run whenever you want. Jonathan Taylor is scary as shit all the time. The Colts are going to make the playoffs. There are a bunch of good options out there. I just know that the New England Patriots are not one of them. That's the only thing I can take from today.

You're writing them off, or you're just doing that because you're being a dick? You talk about three games. I really think the season's gotten too long for Mac Jones. Yes, I'm also being a dick, but you talk about winning three games. I really think the season's gotten too long for Mac Jones. Yes, I'm also being a dick, but you talk about winning three games. Belichick is really going to have to put a spell on some of these other teams. They're just vastly

more talented at the skill position. Well, the strategy today, I thought he got outcoached today. McDermott did a good job. He didn't wait until the second quarter of the third quarter to play the way they should have just played against the Patriots when they played them. So, kudos to him.

Belichick usually owns Buffalo too, so that was disappointing. He had to win this game though, McDermott. After what you guys did to him a couple Mondays ago was an embarrassment. He would maybe have had to leave the league if this happened again. I am not panicking about Mack yet. I think

he's a rookie QB. Yeah. And sometimes it's going to happen. And it was just one of those days. And he didn't look good. And the team didn't look good. Harris was able to run on the bills. And that was the frustrating thing.

It's like, fuck, if we could have ever gotten a little control of the game, a little momentum. The fact that Buffalo got the kickoff in the third quarter was a bummer, you know, because the Pats basically squandered it in the first drive. All of a sudden, Buffalo had the ball, so it felt like Buffalo had it the first drive in the first half and the second half.

And they could never... I felt like Harris could have run on them. Yeah. So, we might see them again. That might be our 3-6 matchup in three weeks. I guess that could work, right? Oh, man. Don't blow that, Bills. Alright. Let's go. Actually, let's take a break

and then we'll go through some of the AFC playoffs stuff. Alright. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health,

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Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash business platinum. All right, AFC playoffs. KC is in the driver's seat at 11 and 4 and they've looked pretty unstoppable since Edward Soler came back but now he's out. What's wrong with do we know? What's wrong with them?

Some sort of shoulder thing? They're just sick of beating up on teams so he's like I'm just going to sit out for a little bit. Yeah, they have. They could still lose a game, right? And win the get the one seed. I'm looking at. Yeah, they're at Cincy at Denver. They'll win one of those. They're going to be the one seed.

They'll get a nice buy. Then you have Tennessee who won a really impressive game on Thursday night. AJ Brown just basically took the game over. Sam Frank couldn't cover him. Jimmy G made two bad plays. And I bet on San Francisco that game. And I'm watching it going,

I don't understand. I can't believe we're not going to win this game. I feel like I made the right pick. And all of a sudden, Tennessee's stealing it, which they've done four times this year. I think maybe, you know,

I think people would look up to us if we claimed a team that we were full of shit about all year long. And it might be the San Francisco 49ers because we zigzagged with them. Right. Right. Wasn't the big bit for three weeks. I know you don't check your head. No, Shanahan winning record. Right. People really want an explanation for this.

Like you and Bill can't jump ship. You can't for a month go over Shanahan's record, how it compares to Bruce Coslet and all the worst. But whoever we I don't even remember who we've had him up against and then jump on Jimmy G and say that they're going to be the toughest out and how you don't want your Cowboys facing them. And even in that game against Tennessee, I went back and forth three times. I'm like, damn, this team looks good. Debo Samuel's the best, whatever you want to call him in the league, running back or wide receiver after contact.

I don't want anything, any part of it. And then it's, it's true. It's like Jimmy G throws up four balls for grabs and you just have to hope that two of them are batted down and maybe one of them lands in the, uh, opposing, uh, you know, bread basket. That's it. But, uh, yeah, they're, they're in a little bit of trouble. I don't think they make it now. I think they're, no, they make it. Well, I think the Eagles win their next two. And who else is there? So five teams are in, right?

Yeah. The Eagles will make it. And I think... Can we not crown the Eagles yet? I'm still not sold on them. No, I know. I don't think they're good either. Not even remotely. They're at Washington.

They're going to play Dallas. And I have a feeling that game's not going to matter. I do have a Shanahan update. Shanahan is now 37 and 43. You can't do this. I think we just have to say we're full of shit with the 49ers. No, he dropped below Joe Philbin. He's still ahead of Dick Nolan and Walt Michaels.

No, listen. This season takes forever. Of course we're going to change our mind on teams. This season won't end. We still have two weeks left. That's true. I thought it was over. I've changed my opinion on 10 teams five times.

The only thing I'll credit Shanahan with, I think, at this point is with what he's done with Debo Samuel. He's like, we need this guy touching the ball without any risk of an interception. So he's going to take some carries in the backfield. We're going to watch him cook. And it's like, all right, can we do this all the time? It's like, well, no, he's got to actually line up at wide receiver.

And Jimmy G is going to have to throw him the ball a couple of times. Like, oh man, there's really no way to avoid it. Like, no, not really. People will notice eventually. So that I'll give Shanahan credit for, but the Walt Michaels thing, God, you can keep going. I don't know. Maybe we'll just follow up with them.

He does that thing where he scripts the first 15 plays or whatever, and they look unbelievable. Maybe we should just bet the Niners first quarter the rest of the way. Oh, interesting. And then once they go through those 15 plays, all of a sudden, Jimmy G started into three guys. I still like their talent. And you lost on the Chargers today with the Texans. But the Chargers are missing, and this is why I stayed away from it. By the way, I got killed all week. The Chargers are missing Derwin James,

Mike Williams, Austin Eckler, Joey Bosa. At some point, every team has what? Six, seven good guys, and then everyone is the same. First of all, I think you're right, but it's impossible to handicap these things. Shouldn't it be the reddest of red flags when you see a team as 22 out because of COVID? Are these all just special teams players, the 22 that are out for Houston? Like all of a sudden Davis Mills.

And by the way, do you think that's going to be Belichick's biggest mistake? Taking Mac Jones over Davis Mills? That could be, that's going to come back. We were taking Davis in the second round. We're seeing this in the NBA where you where these guys who never play come in. I was watching OKC tonight. They had this guy, Aaron Wiggins, who I'd never heard of in my life, who had like 24 points.

He was a shooting guard. He looked really good. And I guarantee we never would have seen him all year if COVID hadn't demolished every roster. Right. But maybe they're just more talented people at the pro level than we know who could at least be like adequate. It's very strange in a year where, you know, OK, so you had five quarterbacks drafted.

The trailheads never made it right. So but the four and none of them really like Mac Jones stepped up front for offensive player of the year, but it was still lackluster numbers. Right. And then even with the MVP race, it's like Rogers. Oh, some weeks he wants it. Oh, the Brady didn't look great like quarterback play is very strange and then you got like a Davis Mills coming out there or uh right like Lamar Jackson could be the third best quarterback on the Ravens this year for all we know but um yeah the Davis Mills the Texan but

son of a bitch I told you that my best bet of the year was Texans and Lions, both under four and a half wins. And Fandle gave me plus two 54. I have to sweat that out. The Texans have four wins now. Are you freaking kidding me? Well, and then we had the Lions worst record. So Jets, Jaguars, I'm rooting against some, I rigged it. So in our fantasy league, I'm going against Trevor Lawrence in the playoffs, which is great. I blocked them on every quarterback that could have picked up. They've Trevor Lawrence. He's driving for the game winning touchdown.

Yeah. But I'm also rooting against him for fantasy. So I'm like in nine places, takes it down and can't get in against the jets. And that's how we're going to lose our lions. Worst record bet because the Jags couldn't punch it in against the fuckingets. And that's how we're going to lose our Lions' worst record bet because the Jags couldn't punch it in against the fucking Jets, who suck.

Jags at New England and versus Indy. Detroit at Seattle and versus Green Bay. Jags have it. The Jags are terrible. And they lost Robinson today. Son of a bitch.

And the Jets, who in classic Jets fashion, there's like these two dominant defensive players, right? Yeah. And they have now figured out a way classic Jets fashion, there's these two dominant defensive players, right? And they have now figured out a way to not be in the top two of the draft. They now need help to get in the top two. They need other teams to win.

Like Trevor Lawrence against Zach Wilson. One versus two in the draft. And no one gave a shit about that game. Like, ah, these quarterbacks are lousy and that game sucks. It's a very weird year for sure. Well, Kyle can attest. We had ay and that game sucks. It's a very weird year for sure. Well, Kyle can attest. We had a lot of that game on one of the TVs and it was

truly horrible. But I will say the Jets, like Michael Carter looks good. Elijah Moore looked good before he got hurt. Wilson doesn't look awful. They have drafted some good people. He looked okay today for sure. I want to address your fantasy league because you do this every year,

whether you make the playoffs or not. You stuck yourself with four defenses thinking you were cute. No, I had three. Are you sure? I thought you had three on the bench. I had three, but then I picked up the Bengals late last night because it was Josh Johnson. And I started them over the three I had,

and they did by far the worst because I'm an idiot this way fucking Defenses on the bench scored 15 or more points the one you started you started the Bengals Scored six. Yeah lost by like seven. It was the difference. Why do you know of a headache of four? You do this all time either Started four times in 12 years. He's in Cincinnati. They can't get three picks. I take Tampa out. They're going

against Cam Newton and Sam Darnold. I'm an idiot. This is it. This is fantasy football exists to make us feel bad about ourselves. No one else has four deep. Don't blame fantasy football. You gave yourself a mind game. I had my guys. I'm not going to pick up some shitty Cole Comet

when I'm not going to start him when I have Kyle Pitts. So I try to just take the best people. It didn't work. Terrible. I hate it. You're going to win the Keeper League we're in. And I bet Chang on the side. I bullied him into a bet. I'm not going to make him pay. I bullied him into a

side bet and I beat him by like 30 points. The CBS guru, how dare you insulted me by making it a pick them game. And I, and I crushed him. Yeah. The CBS guru, I went into my playoff matchup. I was down like nine, but I had Javante Williams and the other guy and the STDs, Tony had a Tyler Lockett, right? Snowstorm. I'm like, I got a chance. Denver just decides they're just never going to use Javante Williams. You could argue he's one of the seven or eight most talented running backs. But he had like seven carries today, right? Yeah, seven carries.

They ran 40 plays total. Every time they got the ball, they would just run Melvin Gordon in the line for minus two. Lock would throw an incompletion. Third down incompletion, they'd punt it. And that was their offense. And at Javante, all I needed was like 60 yards from him. I win our week. I go to the finals. All I want to do is vote out Damoshek.

And now I can't. I'm so excited. Give whoever wins like $25,000 and you can get it done. Just to vote. I really hate fantasy. Why, why is,

why do we do it? Who enjoys it? Why do we do it? We say this every year you win. And it's like, what's fun about it? You win some money. You get a couple of congrats,

dude, texts. And then that's it. I made a side bet with Chang. And now I own major dorm. I get to call major. I do. It's major Dallas now.

You know, your bet should have been you should have hosted an episode of his podcast and just had all these terrible food opinions and caused outrage in the Chang community.

I gained the most weight this year. I deserve to do that. NFC playoffs. So just to put a bow in the AFC. KC, Tennessee, Buffalo, Cincy. Then we have Indian, New England at nine and six. And then we have the Chargers in Baltimore and Vegas at eight and seven.

Miami potentially at eight and seven. So try figuring that out. Good luck. Well, I mean, who do we want to root against? I mean, by now, like I said, last week we didn't have a team. Like I'm salivating to root to bet against them and the Shakey's ball.

You know, we don't really have that in the AFC I guess Cleveland kind of controls their own destiny if Cincinnati loses to Kansas City but they that's true yeah Cleveland's terrible yeah they all so good Cleveland seven and eight they don't control anything no so if they go nine and eight and Cincinnati oh they beat Cincinnati last week. Yeah, they play them the last year. If they lose to KC, Cincinnati. Yeah. Well, our Week 17 games that are fun,

we have KC-Denver, and that might mean nothing to KC. That could be one of those nobody plays. They can lose one. So Denver could actually be in a good situation there. New England-Miami. And then, which potentially could be for a playoff spot. New England, Miami. And then, which potentially could be for a playoff spot. This is week 18. Week 18. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Week 18, not week 17. Right. And then Chargers, Vegas. Vegas is this year's Michael Myers team. It's unbelievable. I thought they were dead a hundred times, and somehow they're still alive. Even today, they're dying to give away that game. They couldn't do it. They're playing good defense though. That's, that's,

what's weird. Yeah. Well, they have a good, they have a good front four. Um, and then in the NFC, the week 18 games, Dallas Philly, which I mean, you might, you might be able to rest that you might just have the two seed locked up for that. Who knows? Yep. Rams, Niners, and then Saints Falcons could actually mean something. And we, I think are the only two people who bet on the Falcons to make the playoffs, which is somehow still alive. Every week they either lose by 30 or they win by four in the last minute of the game. So what do you think? So New England makes it, Indy makes it. And then I think. Yeah. Cause we're going to beat Jacksonville. So that'll put us in.

I don't even want to see the Chargers. Let Miami in or something. I hate that Chargers team. They are so effing soft. They gave up 100 yards rushing to that Texans team. Who doesn't run on anybody in the first half. Rex Burkhead. Oh, my God.

They couldn't stop a third and three. Disgusting. Yeah, but if you have seven good guys and you're missing five of them, that's a problem. Come on. Texans is killing me. NFC, Green Bay, Dallas, Tampa, and then the Rams have the edge over Arizona. They're both 10

and five. So your wild card Arizona's in unless they can't. They play the Rams so they don't play the Rams. They got at Dallas home Seattle. Arizona's in. No, no. I'm saying to try to get the division. They don't play the Rams. They got at Dallas, home Seattle. Arizona's in. No, no. I'm saying to try to get the division. Rams are at Baltimore, home San Fran.

So who knows what happens there? San Fran, they have home Houston next week, then at the Rams. Yeah. So nine and seven should be enough for them to at least get a seven seat, I would think. I think nine and eight is good in the them to at least get a seven seat i would think i think nine and eight is good in the afc i've been saying that i still think nine and eight because whoever you're talking about the chargers miami these teams are going to split i think the last two and uh yes nine and eight for sure but i think i think philly jumps up and gets that last spot

san francisco screwed themselves here well if if they split the next two San Francisco's making it If they're 9-8 No so they said if San Francisco's 9-8 Philly's 9-8 and New Orleans is 9-8 Then San Francisco San Francisco's an odd man out Yeah but New Orleans is losing tomorrow New Orleans is playing Miami

They're not winning tomorrow That would make them 7-8 and then they have Carolina And Atlanta And then Atlanta So that would make them what? That would make them 7-8, and then they have Carolina and Atlanta. I don't know. And then Atlanta. Don't even. Don't do it. How's Atlanta still alive?

Don't do it. Talk about a team that was dying to lose. Did you have your eyes on that Detroit game? I did. I did. Well, Pitts isn't out of Offensive Rookie of the Year. Is that true? Yeah, he's had a couple good weeks in a row.

I think if he has two more strong weeks, I think he could swing it. And I think Chase could swing it, too. You could see the actual point in the fourth quarter where the Jaguars realized, oh, no, what are we doing? We need the number one pick. And where Detroit, like Dan Campbell's like, all right, I got to stop with this popularity contest I'm trying to win. Let's get that first pick. You know, you could see kind of where the blaze, where Detroit becomes Detroit and

Jacksonville becomes Jacksonville. Yeah. It's a battle to the end between those two. Um, quickly, what happened to Russell Wilson in your opinion? I don't know. I don't know. He's this year. He's played 12 games. He hasn't know. He's, this year, he's played 12 games.

He hasn't even thrown for 2,500 yards. 16 touchdowns, five picks. He's only rushed for 141 yards. Today was like the perfect game where he just would have scampered around and done stuff. So it's like, is he hurt? Is he protecting his body? Does he know this team's going nowhere?

So he's in self-preservation mode. But, man, I watch football every Sunday. He looks really average to me. He doesn't really look much different than some of the guys, Huntley and Josh Johnson, just running around. Like, do you feel like he stands out in any way? Because he doesn't to me. No, no.

And he should say that he's injured. A lot of these guys should just say that they're injured and step aside for a minute. But I spent seven of the nine Sunday hours screaming at the TV about quarterbacks who are supposed to run, not running, whether it's Josh Allen or Tua or Russell Wilson, especially Russell Wilson. And I don't even care about like a design play or something, but there are a lot of plays out there where there's like 15 yards of daylight and run for seven and slide and put,

put them, their team in a much better spot than they have. And they just don't do it. And he's like the biggest, the biggest offender of that. I think like he never takes off. It's really weird. He,

cause Penny all of a sudden out of nowhere, it looks good. Yeah. And then Metcalf and Lockett, it's not like they don't have weapons and their defense is great. I think like, uh, 13 points or fewer, 16 points or fewer, and they have Metcalf and Lockett, it's not like they don't have weapons. And their defense is great. I think like 13 points or fewer, 16 points or fewer,

nine of the last 10 games before today. Yeah. Yeah, he was just bad in that game. I don't get it. So when we talk about everybody's excited about Russell Wilson, who wants to trade for him, where's he going to go? Yeah. I would look at his last 16 games

and wonder what happened because we had that run where it was like, oh, could he take the MVP? Is it going to happen? And then he dipped. Then this year, he was okay. Got hurt. Has been really pedestrian since he came back. I think a few of these guys screwed themselves.

Like Russell Wilson maybe could have taken the rest of the year off, and his value would have been much higher, right? More teams would be seeking out. Baker Mayfield is a lesser version of that. Now he's had torn. He has real injuries. It's funny that we talk about Aaron Rodgers toe, which whatever, I'm sure it's painful, but like we praise him for everything he does. But Baker's got like seven injuries. Like screw that guy. Look how terrible he is. He should have sat. He should have just sat. And then he really would have had a better shot at that second contract. Now, Cleveland's crazy to give it to him. They're just nuts if they give it to him or anybody for that matter. I forget who was the announcer in that game, but they were talking about it.

They talked to Baker, and this was early in the game, and the announcers were going. Was it Buck and Aikman? Yeah, it was Aikman. Aikman was saying you know Baker said this is the best he's felt in weeks yeah and I'm like not nervous at all, got Green Bay to tease feel good, I don't care how good

Baker feels and then he threw his four picks they dropped two other picks and he threw a pick on the two point that they dropped he threw seven passes that Green Bay either caught or should have caught. He was awful. It's like, all right, if he's hurt,

if he's not hurt, there's no way Case Keenum is that bad. It's impossible. I thought Mullins was fine. I really did. But that was the weirdest game because it felt like they were surging at the end. They had a first down at the 50. Yeah.

They had all three timeouts. So Chubb, Chubb was doing whatever he wanted in that game. And then they just, they start throwing with Baker again. I mean, you're right. It was one 41 left, three timeouts midfield and they didn't run again. We were all, we were texting each other going crazy. It was insane. At least once.

What are you doing? He doesn't have to complete a pass and they'll win this game. If that rookie or walk on kicker makes his makes a shot. It really does. I am not impressed with Green Bay's defense. And I know I know they don't have everybody back yet, but haven't been that good the last three weeks. Very I think you can. I think you can have long drives in them. And from what I've seen, because this is really got to look for the long drives. This is what worried me about the pats today because they're giving like 13 play 15 play drives. These, these that are giving up the long drives that doesn't work in January. And I think

you can have these long drives in the Packers from what I've seen. Rogers can bail them out the other end. Adams is great. They have two running backs that are good, but, um, I know you texted me. I can't wait to bet against the Packers in are good. I know, but for you to text me, you texted me, I can't wait to bet against the Packers in the playoffs. I have voice recognition on my team. I was like, settle down. No, I can't wait. I can't wait.

You should wait until the Super Bowl. Then maybe you could do it. I think your team could move the ball on them. I don't know. That's a nice matchup for you. I have to say, this Arizona game is very, very big to me. I want to see us beat a good team. I really do.

I'll tell you another one. Stafford hasn't looked good in how many weeks? Three interceptions. Yeah, when he beat the Jaguars a few weeks ago, that was good. Three interceptions, two of them were atrocious. And they won that game because they got a special teams play and because Cousins was awful again. They, Stafford, I don't know, for the price they gave up.

21 for 37, 197, one touchdown, three interceptions. Yeah, I mean, Sonny Michel saved them and that kick return saved them. And then Tampa, they keep losing these weapons. They got Antonio Brown going today. But yeah, you could pick a hole in every single NFC team. And Arizona, we didn't even talk about. Because from a coaching standpoint,

that was one of the worst coach games of the year yesterday. And then the Kyler Murray, like, what is that dude doing? That's another one you were talking about when you're yelling at quarterbacks to run more. He seems like he can rush for 15 yards anytime he wants. Right. And he stays in the pocket where he can't even see. And he's chucking it, you know, into three guys. I don't get it. You know, I have a feeling if we ask these quarterbacks why they don't take off, they would say, Hey, screw you. You're the same one crying that they added a game to the schedule. It's like,

it is about self-preservation. You do want to last another year or two, but it is weird when you're watching a game and saying, Oh, look at that. I'm I'm a nobody. And I can see you can run for a touchdown, a first down and put your team in a better position. Instead he's backpedaling throwing that pad. I mean, it's not, not the Kyle Murray we're used to, but it really was the coaching was Kingsbury and the defensive coach.

What was it? Van Joseph. Like the Colts had were missing guys throughout the game. It's not even like you had like a fifth stringer practice all week and try kind of got in sync with the, they really had to start from scratch, like every other drive and Wentz wasn't throwing downfield. I don't know if they were guarding against the fly pattern for Hilton or what, but everything was like a five yard throw or, or a run for Jonathan Taylor, which they pretty much bottled up after that 40 yard run to start the game.

Um, disgusting with how they blew that game 22, 16. They, they should have won that easily. The Arizona. It was disgusting in my wallet. Uh,

we make fun of Wentz a lot on this, on this program, rightfully so. I don't know. He made an awesome throw on the touchdown in the end zone when he bought himself time and hit that guy in the fly. That was really high-end. Great throw.

Rolling right, too, a little earlier than that. He had a great throw. But honestly, the first three and a half, not even anything against him. It was a smart game plan just to throw short. But I don't know why Arizona didn't catch on. He never got strip-sacked. He never had the play where he tries to make something happen

as he's getting tackled and just throws it to the other team. When he doesn't turn the ball over, and if he can make two plays for them, and then Taylor does the rest, they're pretty good. But that was like the classic Colts game. That's 22-16. That's the kind of game they need. I still feel like all you have to do is get a lead on them,

have him make a mistake, and it's going to be what we think with Carson Wentz. Yeah, and they're usually such a first-half team. So that's exactly what I thought Arizona would do, like jump on him quickly. But no, it was the other way. All right, let's take a break. We'll do Guest Alliance.

Okay, Guest Alliance. This is for Week 17. Somehow we have two weeks left in the season A lot of people talking about What happened last week on Guest Alliance We Guest Alliance every week We've been doing it since 2007 I go, you go

We try to see who gets the best record We try to get bragging rights, whole thing I beat you 15-1 last week And people were texting me Calling me, is Sal okay? Do you think he's going to be back this week what happened was she is Sal does he have a substance abuse problem what's going on with him all did he throw it did he bet against himself does Fando have bets where you can bet against

yourself did he throw it what happened so answer critics what happened I don't know what happened I know I was in a bad mood you called it I lost every single thing I touched last week, but that shouldn't get in the way of picking. I mean, no one should beat me. You shouldn't win 15 to one or whatever it was. But I will say this, Bill. No one is as good or as bad as they were the week before. And I know people are betting on you this week because you destroyed me and there's no reason I should come back.

But this is what we're talking about. The common narrative. Go against it. I'm going to whip you this week. And I didn't cheat. Well, we have no Thursday game. I know. Wait, hold on.

Let me yell at my children. You can leave this in if you want. Oh, early parent corner. Yeah. Hey, shut up or I'm returning all the gifts. All right. Let's see if that works. I doubt it.

That was Paracord. It was brought to you by CarMax. Okay. So we have no Thursday game. Right. I'm going to give us two Sunday marquee games, one for each conference. So we'll go AFC, Sunday, Chiefs, Bengals.

It's in Kansas City. Joey Burrow, Joey B, our guy, threw for over 500 today. I think he had four touchdowns. He single-handedly cost me my fantasy matchup because Higgins had like 31 points. Mixon had 25. Ford most in history, 525. Crazy.

He was throwing it when they were up 20 with two minutes left, which felt very fuck you-ish. It felt like there was some Ravens Bengals from years past, like, oh, you've been kicking sand in our face at recess for 20 years. Watch this. When they threw, it was like, I thought they were running out the clock. All of a sudden, he's chucking it 40 yards downfield. And it's not really fair. They traveled

with like 14 defensive players, didn't they? Baltimore. Yeah. Extra F you. Well, Baltimore had hit a point where they had had so much resilience all season that you go into today and you think like, oh, they have no chance. They're missing everybody. They have Josh Johnson.

And the line was seven. Right. And it was like, it was like shell of a Ravens against Cincinnati in Cincinnati. And Vegas was like, we'll leave this at seven. We're not, we don't trust the Ravens. Yeah.

But it was finally, it was like two and a half all week. And you know, if it was Lamar, I mean, it's two and a half all week and it wasn't looking like Lamar. And anyway, you shook it.

Right. Yeah. Well, it seems like they threw that one away. Cause I bet if it was like a playoff game, Lamar could have played. But why don't they move? Why do they move games?

Why do they not move games? Is it the quarterback importance of the quarterback importance of the game? Is it number of COVID player? What what is the consideration to move a game? So you're asking me

to make sense of a league run by Roger Goodell A league that has no rhyme or reason With anything it does I would love an answer just to that Why wouldn't the Ravens Why wouldn't this game have moved One day

Just let the Ravens play every Tuesday For the rest of the year Whatever Who knows We get it The AFC North is ravaged with COVID Well I have the Chiefs favored by 6 Over the Ravens

Oh Alright good Good for me I said 3. All right, good. Good for me. I said three and a half. It's four and a half. Oh, that's too low. Well, you love Cincinnati.

What do you mean it's too low? The Chiefs are good. The Chiefs are at least like, they have to be six and up against anybody that's not one of the top four teams in the league, I think at this point, if they're home. You don't think so? They're rolling over everybody now. I think so. I think they're definitely better than they're home, you don't think so. They're rolling over everybody now.

I think so. I think they're definitely better than Cincinnati. That line will go up. That line will be, but I think you're right in that they don't need it.

Right. So that, that, that's going to count in a lot of these. I haven't filmed, uh, the other Sunday marquee. We'll go to the NFC

Cowboys Cardinals in Dallas. Congrats. He made a marquee game. And I think this is Vegas zone. Just like the last one. I have four and a half for this one. Dallas. He made a marquee game. And I think this is Vegas zone, just like the last one. I have four and a half for this one. Dallas by four and a half. Let me check

because I guessed and then I saw a line before and I saw after and I left it. But I think they had three. Yeah, it's still three. And that's what I said. You're going to beat me this week. I'm telling you, the bad

only beating the bad teams, Vegas doesn't forget. I don't know what to make of that cards team without Hopkins. It seemed like it was awfully hard for them to move the ball. It was a lot of Christian Kirk with like one-eighth of a step on somebody in traffic trying to haul down a 40 yard.

I didn't show it up at the end, too. Yeah. It seems to get open every time. Yeah, I don't know. Really, that offense should move just better anyway. You're right with Kyler Murray taking off. Also, why is Kyle? Have you ever seen a quarterback who's more exhausted in the fourth quarter than Kyler Murray?

They'll cut to him and he's like heaving like he's Apollo in the end of Rocky II. Like coming out for the 50th round. It's like, what's going on? There's stoppages every five minutes in the NFL game for 10 minutes. How are you this out of breath? He actually said there ain't going to be no rematch at the Jersey exchange with Carson Wentz.

Weird. I watched the second half of Rocky 2 recently. The coma scene gets longer every year. The coma scene put me in a coma. I was watching it. It's so long. He's reading to her and it cuts to Mick in church.

It cuts back. Rocky's reading again. It just goes on forever. That's why three is the best. Three is the best. There's three fights. You have to write. It moves the actions there And it just goes on forever. That's why three is the best. I know people can kill me for it. Because there's three fights. You have to, right? It moves the actions there with the thunder lips.

And then the two fights, two club-relying fights. It's great. Especially with the show kids. Which one did we do for rewatch? We did four for rewatch. We did four. Oh, we got to do three next. Don't you disclude me from that.

No, you're in three. I have you penciled in. All right, good. I think three is still one of the best movies in the last 40 years. Terrific. It's really the greatest.

It's Goodfellas, Rocky III, There Will Be Blood, whatever it is, Rocky III has to be on the list. How about this? It changed professional wrestling. Yeah.

That's a huge thing. It's got like six incredible scenes. Like the Clubber Lang at the statue ceremony. Hey, woman. Yeah. Hey, woman. What a movie.

Anyway, the watchables. I got five. I'm including this one just because there's playoff implications and two teams that happen to be fun right now. The Bills and the Falcons. You're including that? Yeah. Falcons is a watchable game?

I'm putting this in the watchables. All right. I was off by a lot here. Go ahead. I have the Bills by 12 over the Falcons. Oh, good for you. I said 10.

It's 13 and a half. 13 and a half. They don't want us teasing this. I'm going to make a recommendation to you in a minute, but go ahead.

Let's get through it. I'll show you. Next one, watchable just because of the playoff. Really, the playoff implications I had for watchable for this. Titans-Dolphins, which normally wouldn't be in this category, but it is this week. I have the Titans favored by six over the Dolphins.

The Titans by six? No, I said four. It's three and a half. What you said about how you're worried about Dallas because they hadn't played anybody you feel that but the Dolphins are the all-time example of that and they're gonna get Ian Book tomorrow yeah but they've had week after week they've played nobody well let me just um yeah talk about playing the nobodies let me just go we said Philly well I'll wait till we get to the

Philly game but Philly's played Fromm, Gilbert, Wilson, Jones, and Simeon. And I guess, what's his name today? Fromm and who's the other Giants out there? Oh, Glennon. Yeah. Mike Glennon. Miami's last five weeks were

Houston, Baltimore on the Thursday night, that weird game. The Jets, Carolina, Giants, Jets. Those are the last six. They literally haven't played anybody. There's going to be a dumb team like that that makes the playoffs, so it's a problem. I can't wait to bet against two of the players.

That's it. You said it. There you go. Colts are home for the Raiders. I don't know what to make of the Raiders anymore I bet on them today It was exciting I never felt comfortable for one second Derek Carr

Derek Carr running out the first half Threw a screen pass right to Bradley Chubb Who almost scored on it Then he had another one where he threw another pick It seemed like he was going to come out What's-his-face was warming up Nathan Peterman I'm like, what's happened to my life?

I have Nathan Peterman in a bet No, Carr comes back in, they win it Josh Jacobs He was the key, right? What did he have, 129 or something, rushing? 129 yards, nine kids How? He's 23 years old.

What goes on? He's a prolific guy. I have the Colts favored by seven over the Raiders. You were better with this. I said five and a half. It's eight. They love the Colts. That's a tease.

The Raiders are never going to be scary, except scary to you if you're bet on. But if Waller comes back, aren't they? If Waller comes back, yes. Shouldn't they score points if Jacobs has run the ball? And Carr's not bad. Statistically, he has more good games than bad. Come back.

Renfro. Yeah, Renfro's great. You know what else is scary when you bet on the Raiders? I mean, there's a lot of things. But when they cut to the interim coach and he looks like he's the pit boss at three in the morning at the win. Did they turn the camera on?

The pit boss is staring at me. What's going on with this guy? He just has that look on his face. He doesn't move. What's that guy's name? Is it Rich Passaccia? Is that how it is? Rich Passaccia, the pit boss.

Yeah, I love it. I was wondering why Derek Hart said change 300 in cadence. Right, Rich. And like Passaccia, like barely looked over. Rich, can I get a marker? All right. Chargers are home for the Broncos. Now, we just saw the Broncos fans really traveled.

They were in Vegas. I was impressed. You see that? Yeah. Like half the crowd. It was like 50, 50. It will be more than half the crowd at this Chargers game.

And I think I, this feels like fringe Vegas zone to me. I went four and a half Chargers. Yeah. You're going to get this. Damn. All right. We're tied now. I said three and a half. It's five and a half. Uh. Yeah, you're going to get this. Damn. All right. We're tied now.

I said three and a half. It's five and a half. I mean, how do you make the chargers a field goal better than anybody now? I don't care who they're going against. They suck. You're going to get your boy. You know what? Oh, you don't have him.

He's in your fantasy lineup. What did you say? Williams? Yeah. Denver running back. Oh, he's going to go for a thousand you say williams yeah denver running back oh he's gonna go for a thousand yards this week believe me i was aware i just want to make the finals because i had yeah i mean her i don't know what happened to herbert today i don't understand it he was all over the place it's like mike williams shouldn't mean this much he's still at keenan

allen you still had like a bunch of fast guys running that was He's no Davis Mills. What are you going to do? He's not. Rams are home. Wait a second. The Rams are at Baltimore. My bad. And I think they're going to be favored. We probably will see Lamar Jackson this game. Right?

The diarrhea run is over. The run on runs. I'd love to see it. I think the Rams are going to be favored. The Rams by two and a half. All right. I edge you out this. I said three and it is three. Four, three. Good guys. All right. We're on the barely watchables.

That's a good run for NFL. We had seven good games. I guess they're all on Sunday. Yeah. Yeah, we lost. We don't have Thursday game or Saturday game. I don't know what they do. So there's nine early games and there's four, five late afternoon. And then there's a night.

I see what they're doing. Yeah. Barely watchables. Tampa's at the Jets. And I think they will put this at 13. So we can't put them in a three-team 10-point tease. Bucks by 13. Good job by you. I said

11. It is 13. That's been one of my strategies with these high lines now. I just don't think they want us to tease some of these games. Yeah, they should. All we do is lose on teasers. I don't know why they care so much. Is there any way because we can moneyline parlay it.

They can block us out of a teaser, but not a moneyline parlay. Did Tom Brady say, I'm never losing to the Jets again years and years ago? And then he just, I mean, they can't blow this, right? I imagine there's going to be one game in the next two weeks. It's going to be like, holy shit, this team's not ready for the playoffs. But this can't be. It's not going to be this one. Yeah, it's not going to be this one. Okay. Well, we can do the 13

point tease on FanDuel. It needs four teams. I'm with you. I got a big plan. Next one is at Washington. The Washington disgraced professional football team. The Washington unprofessional football team. The Washington eyesore of a football team. Their home for the Philadelphia Eagles.

And I think the Eagles are going to be favored by seven points. Oh, wow. I said three and a half. It's three. Let me check this, though, because you're right. This was pregame. So let me see. I'm going to get screwed here.

Watch. No? Three, three and a half. Yeah. So let me see. I'm going to get screwed here. Watch. No? Three, three and a half. Yeah. All right. Good. Find me the person who's betting on Washington

plus three and a half. Introduce me this person. I can't do it. Not even Dan Snyder. Here's another one. 49ers Texans. I'm bumping this to 13 because they're not going to want us to tease the 49ers. I have the 49ers by 13 over the Texans. I'm bumping this to 13 because they're not going to want us to tease the 49ers.

I have the 49ers by 13 over the Texans. I think you're going to get this too if I can find it because I went low. Where is it? Oh, yeah. I said 12 and a half. It is 15. I'm telling you, Simmons,

if I lose this under four and a half bet with the Texans, you're going to hear it loud. You're going to hear. You're not losing it. I mean, for God's sakes, if this happens. Who did they have the last week? Who did we say? You're not losing it. Can we talk about John Lynch

really quick? That was great. So he liked Leave Jimmy in Nashville as a tweet and then said he accidentally liked it, which by the way, isn't inconceivable. I've accidentally liked tweets when you're scrolling through and your finger hits it. If you're on your phone, you're lying too, but go ahead. Yeah, no, no, it's conceivable. You could hit a button, but what's clear is that like his kids or his wife are running his account, right?

Uh, yeah, either that or our friend Hench brought it. I was like, I'd love to have seen the moment when his 12 year old daughter explained to him like yes people could see that you like tweets also he liked it and didn't realize we could track this yeah i i bet he didn't realize it but i don't know i'm sure he did it by accident but you have to think at least it gives you some insight as to what he's thinking right like he liked it he did like it whether he actually liked it or not he did like it jake laser the first year i had this podcast not the espn one he came on he told a whole story about how john lynch had 28 my ties at this pro bowl event and it's an amazing story you can listen to it it's go back to listen to

the jake laser pod so every time anything happens with John Lynch, I always think of the 28 mites. And I'm like, well, it makes sense. But he did have 28 mites. Yeah, but this was in church. I mean, I guess he got drunk on the wine they give you when you take communion. He might not be batting with a full deck anymore. Poop Fecta.

We got four. We got Bears home for the Giants. Nick Foles actually made some competent plays down the stretch. Nagy went for two, I think, because he just didn't want to be there any longer.

Right. Smart. He just wanted to leave. Yeah. Let's go for two if we win, great. If we lose, I get to go home.

What a catch that was. And meanwhile, they're playing the Giants whose fans are, I think, all-time rock bottom for Giants fans compared to where they were 10 years ago.

10 years ago, they're going toe-to-toe with Brady in a Super Bowl. Now they're, I think, the worst record the last five years of anybody. It's got to be the worst. No real hope. Yeah, it's got to be rock bottom. And the hope, there's not even a hope that they blow it all up because they're bringing Judge back, which I think the players maybe don't love the idea so much,

as is evident by how they played today. And you're paying all these stars, supposed to be stars, big, big contracts, and what are you going to do with a quarterback? I mean, they just overmatched at every position. It's pretty bad. Well, they're going to be overmatched with this line. I have the

Bears by three and a half over the Giants. Oh, wow. I said six and a half, and it's five and a half. Oh. Now, the Giants are maybe the worst. The Bears are no walk in the park. No, I know. But the Lions are bad. That seems high.

If the Lions played the Giants, Lions win six or seven out of ten, I think. I think the Jags and the Giants are the two worst. Yeah, maybe those two. From what I saw today from the Jags, the Jags are awful. Saints, I think. I think the Jags and the Giants are the two worst. Maybe those two. From what I saw today from the Jags, the Jags are awful. Saints, Panthers. Panthers are no great shakes. Matt Ruhle

taking a lot of heat today on Twitter. He had some quote about, he was comparing it to Jay-Z, how it took Jay-Z seven years to build the brand. Oh, no. This is what you got to do here. This stuff takes time. I like where we are. And people are like, you like where you are. You've taken nine steps back.

You, you, you platoon at the quarterback position. This has never worked in the history of pro football. Does Jay-Z switch producers after each verse of a hit record? Like, I don't know. Like, I don't think he really knows what he's doing with Newton or Darnold. By the way, there's not a superstar within either of them. But, yeah, it's bizarre how he switches them in and out for no reason. And they're built with this big contract for McCaffrey,

who we have no idea if he can play eight weeks in a row. Yeah, it's bad. Anywho, Saints are home, and I think that's going to be like a minus six for them. Yeah. You'll get it. I said four and a half. It's six and a half. So it is five. I will not be teasing them. Six to five. Yeah. That's a stay away. Did you see the stories about how they were contacting Drew Brees and Phil Rivers trying to get out of retirement? What did that say? Someone in the organization contacted Brees and he sent the picture of them fishing. What did that say? Someone in the organization contacted Breeze and he sent the picture

of them fishing? What does that mean? Yeah. Someone in the organization. Well, it had to have been one of the high-ranking people in the organization. And that got out, huh?

Yeah. Like, if it was the ringer and we were trying to convince Drew Breeze to come back, like, I'm pretty sure, like, I would be the one sending the email. Right.

It's usually how this goes. It's not, it wasn't like, oh, an assistant scout sent Drew Brees an email to see if he'd be interested. Like, it's the GM or the owner is going to contact him.

So then who, how did it get out? Like, Brees was bragging to his buddies? Like, yeah, look what I did. I'm going to like this Jimmy G tweet and then I'm going to,

look, I'm going to send you this. Brees should have bragged about it on TV. It would have been the first time he's been interesting on TV all year. Oh. You're right.

He's a corpse. What are you talking about? I thought the first four weeks when we weren't used to his hair were pretty interesting. But now it's, yeah. It's really rough. I actually thought Rodney Harrison

was pretty good with Dunji. I didn't mind them. And now it's like super awkward. The best part is right before the half when they cut to them and they have their scripted. It's Maria Taylor. And she's like, awkward. The best part is right before the half when they cut to them and they have their scripted, it's Maria Taylor.

And she's like coming up at the half. We'll talk about how the car knows, blah, blah, blah. And then it goes and she turns to drew and drew's like, and Tom Brady has some new weapons. And then it cuts to Dungy and he's like,

Jonathan Taylor MVP. Right. And then Maria Taylor goes coming up next. It's like the least ad-lib thing of all time. I don't like that. Oh, I love it. I think it's great. It reminds me of like a bad SNL commercial. Bree should just be like, alright, skip me for now. I'll come up with something. I'll figure out what he's doing.

Hold on. Let me freelance this. Should he get a buy like Michelle Tafoya? Maybe he needs a buy. Like as a player, he got a buy. He's gone just straight through. I actually listened to what he said at halftime. Maybe he does need a buy. He's gone just straight through. I actually listened to what he said at halftime. Maybe he does need to buy. He talked for a minute and it was basically

they gave him the Cardinals. And it was like, you know, if you're the Cardinals, you got to be worried. You're just not, you haven't been playing well for a couple weeks. And it's one of those things you just got to figure it out for the playoffs or you're going to be going home. And it was like, why are you here? He can't say anything. No, he's a nice guy. He's if you're on there, you got to figure it out for the playoffs or you're going to be going home. Yeah. And it was like, why are you here?

He can't say anything. No, he's a nice guy. He's if you're on there, you got to like lob some. Right. You know, you don't want to go the other way. We're like Stephen A. Yesterday on Countdown was said Donovan Mitchell was the best player in the history of the Utah franchise. Yeah.

And everybody's like, whoa. It's like, all right. Yeah. You got to kind of be a dick like us, but still... Well, if you're going to be the hyperbole, it's got to have at least be rooted in truth, right? Right. Like Donovan Mitchell has a chance to be the greatest player in Utah history.

It can't be Donovan Mitchell is the greatest player in Utah jazz history. When Carl Malone was on the team, he's like one of the 24 best players of all time. If NBC hires Stephen A for Sunday night, I think that's what you're pushing for. I don't like it. That'd be great.

Just maybe some coffee for Drew Brees. Seahawks are home for the Lions. Seahawks season is over. The Lions are probably more excited to be in this game than the Seahawks. I think the Seahawks are going to be favored by five and a half, but I like the Lions already as an underdog parlay. You're going to like them even more because it's eight and I said seven.

Oh, man. What? So the Seahawks, just every week, they're favored by four points too high week after week. Well, I think they're thinking they don't win that much at home. They're going to win at home. And it's the Lions, so we can't make it three, right?

I like the Lions. It might be too high. Sunday night, Packers-Vikings. We get to make fun of Kirk Cousins on the Vikings for one of the last times. Who did I miss? Your team.

Oh, I did. I missed one. I know you don't. Who did I miss? Your team. Oh, I did. I missed one. I know you don't want to talk about them, but they could possibly win this game. Yeah. You're right. Pat's home for the Jags. I have the Pat's favorite by 13 and a half.

That's exactly what I have. And it's 15 and a half. Okay. All right. Let me just tempt you with something One two three Is this a fan duel four teamer It sure is

Tampa beats the Jets We already said Tampa's never losing to the Jets again Your team takes care of the Jaguars That just gotta happen The Bills beat Atlanta Do we keep that out of it Yeah I'm afraid of Atlanta

okay fine but San Francisco beats Houston right yeah minus 265 just those three 26,500 to win 10,000 let's do it I'm putting you in okay send it at Packers

home for the Vikings I have I think they jacked this up but not Okay. Sunday night, Packers home for the Vikings. I have... I think they jacked this up, but not... So it's unteasable. I think it's Packers eight and a half. I get this. I said seven and a half. It's only six and a half.

I think I won the league. Seven and six. Yeah, I think you did. Two, three, four, five. Jacoby told me to let you in. There you go. Jacoby is such a... He worries so much about me.

All right, I'm up 9-6, Jacobs. We did it. You did it. One left. What a comeback for you. Monday night, Browns at Steelers. Baker against Roethlisberger. Mm-hmm.

The matchup we've all deserved. Big Ben's final game in Heinz ever. No question about it. Right. Hmm. Unless he comes back like week eight next year because he's feeling great. Oh, he'll wave when they hang his jersey or whatever. But I mean, like final final game playing.

I can't imagine that's going to be an emotional weekend around the country. Browns. I had the Browns favored by one and a half in Pittsburgh. Yeah, you were close. And I thought the Steelers, the sentimentality and everything, they'd give the Steelers a one point nod. Browns by two and a half is the number.

Okay. Too little, too late. Nine, seven, I went. All right. So does that put me, where am I? I'm still leading by one, I think, for the year. You are? Yeah.

Are you? No, 7-7-2. Wait. 7-7-2? No, 8-7-2. 8-7-2. I'm up one. Alright. Alright. Alright, let's do parent corner. Today's parent corner is brought to you by CarMax. Get a 30-day money-back

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Car buying reimagined. All right, you're up. All right. Well, I didn't see the kids this week, so, Oh no, it was Christmas. I saw a way too much of them, but, um, I will say a couple of days before, you know, I have a thing with this elf on the shelf, right? I just hate his guts. I hate him more than anything really. Um, but like probably December 22nd, I had been good all, all December. Like I said, an alarm or whatever. I would, I would just, I'd had been good all December. I set an alarm or whatever.

I'd get it in my head. I was 21 for 21 moving the elf on the shelf until December 22nd. I watched with my eight-year-old Little Big League, which is a nonsensical movie, by the way. The kid being the manager of Minnesota. You remember that movie? The team would have revolted, and that would have been that. I'm a huge fan of that movie. You are?

No, it's terrible. It's fun to watch with your young son though. Yeah, but grown-ups are assholes. It would have been an 18-minute long movie. The team wouldn't have played for him. But anyway, so we watched that and now it's like, yeah, he doesn't have school. They're off. So it's like 10, 15 when it's over. I'm like, alright, you gotta

go to bed. Go brush your teeth. I'll go tuck tuck you in so this has kind of been our thing when he goes to uh brush his teeth he'll go upstairs i'll listen i'll make sure he gets upstairs and then i moved that mf and elf yeah so he did it and he's uh brushing his teeth and i hear the bathroom door open and i go to hide the elf and I lock eyes with him. He's now at the top of the steps and he sees me holding the elf. And I don't say anything and he doesn't say anything. And he runs to the bathroom and I go to hide the elf and we didn't speak of it. We haven't spoken about it.

And it was like, it was like he walked into a strip club and saw me getting a lap dance. And it's like, all right, we're never just ever going to do it. But what was happening is the next day, he's like, dad, dad,

look, the elf's in the blender. Like dad, look, the elf's here. He's there. Like he didn't do it anymore. I think he knows now,

but it's just something we're not going to speak of. And I'm a little bummed out, but I'm also so relieved. So, so, so relieved. You should have done it sooner. Oh yeah.

I had no idea, but really all I have to do is shake this thing in your face and you don't believe. So, so, so relieved. You should have done it sooner. Oh, yeah. I had no idea. But really, all I have to do is shake this thing in your face and you don't believe. But the wife's not happy, but whatever. It was accidental. And if that's how it has to be, so be it. You locked eyes. And his life was never the same.

It would be a lot of therapy, but it's worth it for me. It was like you were at a bar with some lady. Yeah, right. And he locked the eyes with you and just kept walking. Wink, wink, yeah. I traveled with my family this week and went back to Boston. Good week to travel, right? Good week to travel.

There was nothing going on. Quick travel story. So we have to wear the mask, but then everyone just takes the mask off when you eat or when you're having a glass of wine. So had the old guy right across the row who was coughing and sneezing in his mask and then took the mask off and was having wine. I'm just like, oh, cool. I'm going to get home and cry now. But had the mask off for 40 minutes, put it back on. Like, what are we doing? Is Cliff Kingsbury running the country? What are we doing?

Do the masks stay on or do they stay off? Because if I have the mask on 78% of the time, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get COVID the other 22%. So do I need a mask or not? I was like double masking. The virus doesn't know to leave you alone when you're sipping Cabernet. You don't think the virus is considerate? What are we doing? We're going to restaurants. We're at the hostess station with the mask on, walk through with the mask, sit down at the table, take the mask off.

That's it. No, the virus knows. The four minutes between you stepping in the Chili's or the Olive Garden and then putting the bread basket on the table. That's when the virus strikes. What are you talking about? So traveling with the fam, you're just constantly reminded how stupid all of this is because we have nobody in charge of anything. Right. And it's gotten to the point where I can see the other side when the other side, all the

stuff they say, it's like, all right, there's some truth in that. There's some truth in that. And then you're like, well, there's some truth in this side. I wish there was a third side. Can there be a third side for the normal people? The normal people were like, why am I wearing a mask at the hostess station? But if I walk 10 feet, I don't have to have a mask on anymore, but I'm in the same enclosed place or I'm at my kid's basketball game and they don't have masks on, but we have masks on. But the person next to me has a mask under their nose and the ref has no mask at all. And like, what, what are we doing? It doesn't make a lot of sense. It doesn't, uh, there's no rhyme or reason to any of it. I don't understand it.

Nobody understands. We're all just like, oh, cool. Well, all right, I'll do my part. I'll put my mask on. It's like littering. I will tell a quick, let me tell a quick story. I know you're going to get there, but no, but so, uh, on Fox bet live, I blew through all my money. You get $10,000 for the year. So I had to spin the wheel of consequences to get another $10,000. And I go up against Clay Travis, you know, and he's anti-masked, for the last 25 years whatever it's been so the consequences lands on producer punch so i have to get punched in the stomach by a producer and a producer comes out in a boxing robe and a mask and hits me as hard as he can in the stomach and clay travis for

the first time ever made a good point he's like so let me get this straight he is allowed to punch you fox has allowed him to punch you in the stomach as hard as he can. But while doing so, he has to wear a mask. He's like, I'm leaving. I'm leaving the show. It is bizarre. It's bizarre what goes on. It's bizarre.

It's turned into littering. It's like we all have to do our part or like recycling. That's right. You recycle? Yeah, I put my stuff in the blue thing. Other people didn't. Right. All right.

Well, I did my part, I guess. So anyway, I was double. Once that guy started coughing, next thing I was double masked the rest of the way for six hours. I'm like, I'm not getting Omicron before the fight. But then you read the Omicron stuff and it's like mild symptoms.

So I'm vaccinated, I'm boosted. And I just like, when is it not going to be weird anymore? Give me a year. When is life going to erupt? My daughter's flipping out because she's, you know, halfway through junior in high school and she's like, this is it?

This is going to be my entire high school? Yeah. I think I'm just going to wear a mask and then everyone's worried for their parents again because you can get vaxxed and boosted and you can still get something and it's just like, how are we still here? It's 21 months. I know.

I walked through it. I said, I was laughing about it in a terrible way. I was like, this is crazy that this shit is still going on. But I don't know that there's an end date. I really don't. Maybe there is. We have to ask Cliff Kingsbury. He's the only one who really knows. Well, my parent corner, so we

come back a little tired of each other, but usually we always open gifts on Christmas Eve. Right? We'd have Christmas Eve dinner, come back, open gifts. This year, the kids were like, eh, let's do it in the morning. Did it in the morning, just kind of did it. My point is,

treasure those off-the-shelf days, my friend, when Christmas really matters. Oh, no. It's that point when the kids are like 14, 15, 16, where they start to look at Christmas the same way we do, where it's like, yeah, kind of a pain in the ass. I got to buy gifts. I got to think of this.

I got to make sure I did this. I did that. They're thinking the same thing. My son was all proud. He got his gifts, came back, immediately announced to us that he got us all gifts, told my wife, your gift was $79. Like he's a freaking lunatic. But I just, it made me miss the old days when, you know, I, what's the sweet spot for Christmas? Five, six, seven, eight. Yeah. We would try to Harrison's though in it, right? Yeah. He loves it.

He loves it still. He believes all. You're waking up, race down. Oh, my God. He took a bite of the cookie. He spent 20 minutes. Exactly. He put 20 minutes getting cookies out there and carrots for the reindeer. And then we got to go through the thing where we break a few a little off and I end up eating everything he puts out. But yeah, you're right.

No, it's nice. It is nice. Otherwise, it's like 11 minutes and it's over, right? I'm jealous you had the third one. I really wish we had done that. It was a big mistake. They get old and then all of a sudden it's like it's just all gone. That's it. You just could live vicariously

through stories like that. Well, I can give you the elf on the shelf if you want to just play along with that. As you know from the old parent corners, my family hated the elf on and the Shelf with passion. It's really one of the worst ideas of all time. Whoever thought of it should be shot. The worst.

I hate them. All right, that's it for Parent Corner. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by CarMax. CarMax has reimagined car buying by putting you in the driver's seat. You can still shop for a car online at home in your sweatpants or if you want to stop by the lot,

you can still wear your sweatpants. However you want to find your next car, do it your way. Learn more at CarMax.com. CarMax. Car buying reimagined. All right. Before we get to Way Up to Pug, are you watching screeners? Are you banging through them? No, I'm really slow on them. Tell me what's good. Do I have to watch Bond? What else? The Gucci movie? What do I have to say? Gucci movie else uh the the gucci movie what's what do i have to say gucci movie is weird but worth watching a lot of people are going for it i like the the lost daughter i thought was the was the surprise for me so far of one that i didn't expect to really like but i liked olivia coleman um she goes to greece it's good it's like one of

those weird indie movies but that that was good that was good. I'll get better now. Succession is over. Curb, the last one was tonight, right? So then I could free up some time. I gotta get to that Beatles documentary I watched for 20 minutes a night and then it just puts me to sleep. And I love some parts but it really absolutely puts me to sleep every night.

The Yellow Jackets isn't bad. I like that one on Showtime. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. A few people. Yeah. I mean, it was hard to catch up on stuff

when there was football. It's seemingly every single day for how many days in a row there. Do you watch like Wednesday off and Friday off? Oh yeah. It was nuts this week. Do you watch the Colts hard knocks?

No, I, I, I feel like an asshole for not watching it. People like it. I have a couple of friends that are really into it. I feel like I've fallen off as a football fan for not watching. I'm like an asshole for not watching it. People like it. I have a couple of friends that are really into it.

I feel like I've fallen off as a football fan for not watching. I'm like, oh man. And also inside the NFL is not on, uh, it's not on Showtime anymore. So I don't watch that. I don't know. I feel like I got to watch more football. Um, all right. So what do you, that's it?

Fox bet live Monday, Thursday, and Friday this week the Extra Points Podcast Network will service all your gambling needs extrapoints.com by the way we have 12 talent who pick games every week 10 out of 12 or 500 or better good job by them 10 out of 12 160 games whatever you can take credit for that you can take credit

if you want who's going to be your ace New Year's Eve definitely trust this person's picks on New Year's Eve definitely trust this person's picks on New Year's Eve for the semifinals? What do you mean? For college. What? Pundit? Yeah. Oh, I don't know.

I don't know. Who is it? Harry? I think it's going to be Dr. Fauci because it seems like they could cancel those games from what I'm seeing. These bowl games are disappointing. Disappearing one at a time. Disgusting. Well, stay safe

out there. Make sure you wear your mask from the hostess stand to the table, but then you can take it off. Right. Make sure the breadsticks actually bounce off the table first.

It's fine. All right. Happy holidays to you and the fam. I will see you in 2022. That's right. Good job by you, buddy. Good job by you. All right.

That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Kyle Creighton for producing. As always, thanks to Sal. I will see you on this feed on Tuesday two more podcasts coming this week I don't have a few years with him

on the wayside on the brink of a never ending Yes, we can. On the wayside. I'm a person I never was. And I don't have to ever say goodbye.