The Bill Simmons Podcast - Bye-Bye Rodgers, Tua and Lamar in Limbo, Dak vs. Brady, a Title Sleeper, and Playoff Lines with Cousin Sal

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the biggest stories from NFL Week 18, including the Lions ending the Packers' playoffs hopes, the Texans losing the no. 1 pick in the draft by beating the Colts, Cowboys-Commanders, the Bills' two special-teams touchdowns in their win over the Patriots, potential playoffs story lines, and more (1:41). Then, they guess the lines for NFL wild-card weekend (39:59) before closing the show with Parent Corner (1:11:55). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, the golf season just kicked off again. You know we have a golf podcast, right? It's called Fairway Rolling, Nathan Hubbard, and my good, good friend, Joe House. Actually, Nathan's my good, good friend too. These are both my good friends. They host a golf podcast for us. Check it out.

Fairway Rolling, a lot of golf stuff heating up over the next 10 weeks. Be ready. This episode is brought to you by Prime Video. You know me, I can't go a day without sports. I really can't. And now Monday nights are all about hockey. You know me. I can't go a day without sports. I really can't. And now Monday nights are all about hockey. That's right.

There's a new exclusive home for streaming Monday night NHL hockey. And it's on Prime. All season long, watch Prime Monday Night Hockey deliver unreal plays, the biggest goals, can't miss moments. Matthews, McDavid, Crosby, the NHL's best. They're all on prime, prime Monday night hockey. It's on Monday. It's on prime. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too. Miller Lite keeps it simple for us.

Undebatable quality, great taste. Picture this. It's game day. All the gang's here. You're tailgating outside the stadium. It's a great time for beer. Or how about when you're standing at the grill and the smell of sizzling burgers is in the air? Moments like that. Or when you want a light beer that tastes like beer, that's delicious. You don't want to load up on those heavier beers and then you only have two of them. Then you feel tired. Your stomach feels full. Miller Lite, it's your friend. It just accompanies whatever else you're doing. You're super happy with it. Opening an ice cold Miller Lite can signal the beginning of Miller time. Miller Lite is the light beer with all the

great beer tastes we like. 90 calories per 355 mil can. So why not grab some Miller Lights today? Your game time tastes like Miller time. Must be legal drinking age. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. I have a new Rewatchables coming on Monday night. It is one word movie month. This is the second installment. I'll just tell you what it is. We're doing Sideways, one of my favorite drama comedies of the 21st century and a movie that honestly they don't really make anymore. So there you go.

That's coming on Monday. Stay tuned on the Prestige TV podcast this week because it looks like The Last of Us is going to be a big show and we're going to be mobilizing behind it. On Sunday nights, Van Lathan and Charles Holmes are going to be instant reacting to every episode. And then during the week, Mally Rubin and Joanna Robinson are going to be doing deep dives. Check out all of our pop culture pods, all of our sports podcasts. Obviously, the NFL playoffs are heating up, NBA heating up, and we are covering all of it there and on TheRinger.com as well.

Coming up on this pod, The Cuz, live from Vegas. I'm in LA, he's in Vegas. We're going to be talking Week 18, playoff picture, playoff spreads, can't wait. Pro Jam! All right, we're taping this. It is close to 9 o'clock Pacific time on Sunday night. The most fun thing is us trying to guess when they're going to schedule these six playoff games.

And they already announced it. What the hell? I was all excited to play that game with you. And now we already know what the matchups are. I know. They're no fun. It's a no fun league. We knew that already.

But yeah, I mean, I have a million problems with the slate, of course, because I'm a maniac. But I'm sure you do too. Oh, this is, we should just talk about it now. I don't know what they were thinking because the six games, the way they set it up was they have Niners Seahawks is the first game. Then Chargers Jaguars is the Saturday night game. Saturday sucks.

They made Saturday suck. Go ahead. Keep going. Sunday, Bills Dolphins, Vikings Giants, Bengals Ravens. And then the best of all the games, Cowboys Bucks, just from like a fascination standpoint. That's the Monday night game. I thought for sure that they were going to make Bills Dolphins the first game

because that's the worst game. Maybe put Cowboys Giants in that classic Sunday Fox spot. And then, I don't know, Vikings Giants on Sunday night. But they basically gave Vikings Giants the Pat Summerall, John Madden spot. And they gave Monday Night Football the most interesting game, which I guess maybe ESPN paid for it. What do you think? Yeah.

I mean, I had some insight about how hard ABC ESPN was pushing for this Monday game and how they were owed and everything else. And yeah, I would have thought that was the Saturday game or something. But so that lands on Monday. But wow, I thought we discussed the AFC South being the Shakey's game. And then Gino Smith just stole it. Just

stole it, pulled the rug right under the league. And it's right there. Right there. Sorry, Gino. This is your spot. Gino Smith said, hold my beer. I barely beat Baker Mayfield. It took me till overtime. I'm in the shaky spot. Damn it.

But they ran out of good quarterbacks. That's the problem. I mean, right? We knew this would happen. And then that's why the Giants and Vikings are like so prominently featured. But if we're going worst game, just worst competitive football game, it is Bill's Dolphins. I somehow miraculously not seen the

Lions. I already mailed you my picks. But Bill's Dolphins is the game I'm least interested in watching. I watched the entire Dolphins-Jets game today. It was on one of the TVs. I had the Jets a million dollar picks. I didn't have them in real life, just a million dollar picks. That game was excruciating.

Flacco versus Skyler Thompson. Skyler Thompson, the way he quarterbacks, he looks like he's like a frantic security guard after a car accident trying to wave people in different lanes. Wow. It's third and five in the second quarter. What are you running a two-minute drill? He's terrible. Joe Flacco's terrible.

And now we have to watch the Dolphins again. We're not going to see two in that game, right? You are right. And from a competitive standpoint, and I've seen the lines after I guessed it, but I think they're thinking two is not going to be there. I don't know. It's kind of right in the middle because if two is not there,

the Bills should win by 45 points. Right? Yeah. And then everything else, if he is there, maybe it shouldn't be as high as it is, but we'll get into that. Yeah. We'll get into it, but can I, can I spoil my take now? How can Tua play in that game after he said three concussions this year? He can't, you can't come back. There's no, there's nothing we've learned from concussion awareness in the last 15 years that points to somebody getting three concussions in the span of two and a half months and then being able to play again. So cross that one off. All right. Let's talk about the Seahawks, Lions, Packers gauntlet for the seventh seed. Because the detractors would

say the seventh seed's stupid. All these teams suck. Congratulations. It took us four weeks and then this dramatic Sunday so we could get the Seahawks as a double digit underdog against the Niners. The counter would be, it was fucking awesome. Ram Seahawks was a beautiful disaster. And then we got to see the Lions have one of their only good moments of the last 30 years where not only did they beat the Packers and Lambeau, they beat the refs. There were missed calls left and right.

There were shaky calls left and right. Didn't matter. And they have this emotional they go for it on a couple fourth downs. They have a little building block for next year now. I really enjoyed it. And yet I think the Seahawks are going to get killed. I agree with almost everything you said. Although I think idiots like you and I took a

hit today, right? And the guys who say, well, the league wants this. And so the league's going to get this. But then the league called a roughing the kicker, roughing a punter when Seattle was punting from their own end zones. Like, all right, that's weird. Then another personal foul. They did everything they could to make

Seattle win, which made that Detroit Green Bay game one-sided in terms of who needed to win. Okay, so then you go into the next game. You're like, all right, well, they need Aaron Rodgers in one of these playoff games. He has to go against San Francisco. And then they couldn't even make enough calls,

although it looked like they were close, to put the Packers over the top. So it was exciting. It's exciting for Lions fans. I was wrong when I said, like, oh, when a team loses, when they don't have a chance to make the playoffs, they're going to play with 20% less vigor. And I was dead wrong.

The Lions were good. They're one of the better teams to not make the playoffs, I think, in recent years. And they were fun. I think Goff is better than Rodgers. And you talk to Lions fans, this is like a top two win in the last 20 years, just knocking them out.

Well, the Lions fans were outraged. And we actually disagree. I think the league did everything they could to get Rodgers in that game, including the Lions, the Seahawks-Rams game was just outrageous. Some of the stuff that they missed in that game. But I was thinking like, because I was with you, all right, what's the Lions motivation? I ended up picking the Lions in million dollar picks. and I just thought they were at least going to keep it close. To me, once you remove the pressure of the playoff game, in some ways it makes you more dangerous. Hench pointed this out on one of the texts we had with him at house,

where it was like, the Lions more dangerous if they have nothing to play for, they don't give a shit. They become like, it's like they've had two drinks. Like that play they ran, what was it, that quick wide receiver pass where then they lateraled to another receiver. There's three minutes left. You would never do that if the playoffs were on the line. You would never go for that many fourth downs if the playoffs were on the line.

I actually thought they were more aggressive and it was better for them that they didn't have anything to play for. I thought it made them more dangerous. Yeah, I guess you're right. I just think going into it, I think most teams wouldn't be like that. But because this is such a rivalry, because Campbell hates the Packers, knows the fans, hate the Packers more than anything,

he really did them right. It's a shame. I wouldn't have minded seeing them at all at San Francisco if that could have happened. Well, I mean, Detroit was the best team in either conference not to make the playoffs, right? I think that's fair. I think the Patriots' defense was good enough

to be in the playoffs. The rest of the team kind of held them back. The Jets, talent-wise, until their quarterback situation fell apart, I think talent-wise, they were pretty close. Right. That's it, right? And Pittsburgh was the other one.

If we had Pittsburgh and Detroit in those two spots instead of the Seahawks and the Dolphins, I think these playoffs are better. NBC tried to do a whole... First of all, everybody all week tried to force feed us. They better not let Aaron Rodgers in there. They better not let him in. I think we would have been all right if they let him in. I think his let Aaron Rodgers in there. They better not let him in. It's like, I think we would have been all right if they let him in. I think his

best days have passed him by. I thought he kind of stunk in the game today. He got his ass saved on the second interception he threw where they did some sort of hands to the face call that I feel like happens during half the game on half the plays, whatever.

You think like, all right, finally he loses in Lambeau. This should be a pretty big story, right? Whoa, this is, what's going on in this division? The Lions. Like this is one of the big bully in their division for 15 years. They go into his house and they beat him. That seems like a talking point coming out of the game. Nope.

It had to immediately become Rodgers. Could this be it? Tirico and Collinsworth, they start doing this whole, this could be it. This could be the last time we see him. I'm like, what? He just signed a contract for $200 million. This is going to be the last time we see him.

Get out of here. Stop it. And then, well, who was it? Jameson Williams tried to swap jerseys with him, and that became huge news because he was like, no, I'm going to hang on to this. Whatever happened to just wanting to hold on to your jersey? You have to swap with the lesser player?

Like, Jamison Williams could be great down the road, but he almost screwed his team today. And if Rodgers doesn't want to give up his jersey to Jamison, like, you have to give it to anybody? You have to give it to, like, the third or fourth guy? What if Rodgers knew who Jamison Williams was? Yeah, exactly. 50-50? Yeah, just sprint off the field if that's the case so nobody ambushes you grabbing on your jersey.

So I wouldn't read into that at all. I think we went over the teams that are set with quarterbacks. I think the whole NFC North might be set. But other than that, it really is like two for each division. I don't know. Who knows with Green Bay? Aaron, can I have your jersey? I could probably get $125,000 on golden options for it. Can I have it? No, but hold on to it. Oh, does that mean he's retiring? What are we doing? And then they just gloss over the fact

that he just wasn't that good in the game. He put up 16 points on the Lions. They were in the red zone four times. They had to settle for four field goals. And I thought, I really thought they gave away the game in the first two and a half quarters. The longer it went on, the more it felt like Goff started to get a little more comfortable. And then you have a situation where Goff goes into Lambeau. And then you have the Seahawks, who they have, if you're a Seattle fan, in the first game,

you're rooting for Geno Smith to beat Baker Mayfield. And you're rooting for Baker Mayfield to do good things for you, which he did. And then you're rooting for Jared Goff. Has anybody ever rooted basically for Baker Mayfield and Jared Goff in the same day? It almost breaks your brain. Then it worked out. Yeah. It worked out.

It really worked out for them. Yeah, I agree. Back to the Packers real quick. When I was watching Rodgers barely get rid of the ball, I was like, oh, man, he's going to get crushed against the Niners. I don't want to see this. I'm like, wait a minute. I want to make some money.

I want to see this. What can we do? And now Geno Smith, he's erratic. By the way, he broke the Seattle Seahawks passing record. Good job. Good job. Coach got fired because of Russell Wilson. Now this guy is like the leading passer of all time for the Seahawks

just in one year. But I don't trust him as much either in that team. Yeah. Kudos to Gino. It was an enjoyable ride. Yeah. I respected the fact that he put his career together and finally had a moment.

But I don't trust him in a playoff game at all, especially going into San Francisco. I don't trust their defense. And I watched that whole game. Mayfield was horrible. I mean, Mayfield was capital H. Remember when they was like, man, maybe he revived his career. Maybe he's a starter.

Yeah. Well, the verdict's in. He's not a starter. He was awful. That bomb he threw in overtime where I think it was Van Jefferson. He's 10 yards open. And

Jefferson almost tears his ACLs stopping. So basically he's trying to field the punt because Mayfield underthrew him so badly. Diggs picked it off. Taunts the ramp sideline on his way out of bounds. They don't call it. They don't call anything against the Seahawks now again, but Baker, I thought, had

open receivers in that game, and now they're going against Brock Purdy, the best quarterback in the league, undefeated Brock, and I don't know. I don't. We'll talk about it when we do Guess the Lions, but to me that is a classic three-team tease. Just throw the Niners in and don't even think

twice about it, Right. Yes. We'll talk about what, who the third team is, but yeah, we have, we have two, we have two right off the top, but yeah,

I just, I like Daniel Jones is the, maybe the second best road quarterback in this, in the slate. I guess not. I guess there, no, I have,

I have a quarterback ranking list for you. I want to do with you later. Okay. So I was thinking a couple, a couple of quarterback ranking list for you I want to do with you later. Okay. So I was thinking a couple things with that Detroit-Green Bay game. One was the Rams, they make that golf trade, right? They have to give the Lions their pick.

And that's going to be the... That's going to be the sixth pick in the draft. So then they have to beat the Seahawks for the lions. And I think when we got to overtime, I think the Rams are just like, fuck this. We've already given you guys too much. It's like a dad on Christmas.

Like I just gave you seven gifts. Fuck you. Go upstairs, go to your room. We're going to Baker Mayfield, throw a bomb. Screw you guys. Can we say goodbye to the Rogers mystique though?

Is it over? Yeah. I think it is. I mean, I'm looking at it in terms of where he ranks just in that division. And I said to start off, I'm like, I honestly think Jared Goff might be better. I don't think that scrambling ability is gone. He overthrows receivers like Christian Watson. We talked about this.

He has no sense 18 weeks in how fast anybody is on his team. It's easy to blame the receivers, and it might be their fault a lot of times. But yeah, the mystique, for sure. Not a top-tier quarterback anymore. This happened in the NBA, too, where LeBron's such a freak. I mean, LeBron, they're on a five-game winning streak right now, and he's putting up big stats, and he's year 20,

and it just makes you think other people should be able to do this, right? Then you have Chris Paul, who is aging at a normal rate, who was in the 2005 draft, and Phoenix now has a 500 team, and Chris Paul's moved into a different point of his career, right? It doesn't mean anything bad about Chris Paul. It's like, that's how the fucking league's supposed to go. You hit your late 30s, you're a point guard.

You should move into a different phase of your career. And I think Brady's done that with Rodgers. Brady going into his mid 40s and still kind of looking mostly like Brady makes it seem conceivable all these other dudes can just do this. And they can't. Like Aaron Rodgers is not going to be able to play to his 45 i mean we've already seen him slip the last couple years at this point if you're aaron rogers you just don't want to slip like a russell wilson right you want a gradual decline because there's

going to be a decline you're not going to get better and your brother brady's a freak so you just avoid the russell wilson year and you can play in the league for probably as long as you want for five more years but you're not going to be top tier, as you said. Yeah, he turns 40 in December. And that's a death number normally for quarterbacks. And then Brady just obliterated it. But everybody else who started to edge toward that age just completely faded away.

All right, so we have that. Oh, we have a lot of other good stuff, but let's take a quick break. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you could still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now. Just search Movember. What does possible sound like for your business?

It's having the spend that powers your scale with no preset spending limit. More cash on hand to grow your business with up to 55 interest-free days. And the ability to reach further with access to over 1,400 airport lounges worldwide. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash business platinum. All right, so a lot of Week 18 stuff happened

that was really, really enjoyable. I have a couple categories for you. Funniest moment. Houston loses their number one pick. But Lovey Smith, who the reports in the morning are that he's going to get fired and the GM's probably getting fired. And it's like, uh-oh, watch out for this game. They take out like a 14-0 lead.

They're down seven. They score to tie it, but then there's a penalty. All of a sudden, it's fourth and 20. Mills just heaves it into the end zone. The Colts' safety has the worst, most missed time jump I think I've ever seen in a National Football League game. They catch

it, and then Lovey's like, fuck this, and he goes for two. He makes it, and he blows the number one pick for them. Chicago, who never gets a break ever. they haven't had the number one picks since 1947. They traded their second pick for Chase Claypool, who I think had like two catches in the last half of the year. So they don't have the 32nd pick, but they do have the first pick all because Houston inexplicably is like, we're going for this. I couldn't believe it.

What were you doing? You were in Vegas watching it. I was very excited because I had the Bears at plus 650 to have the worst record. And I had a good amount of money on it. I was like, this is unbelievable. This really is. You look at how the Bears, I feel like the Bears played more good games than the Ravens. And the Ravens are in the playoffs.

And the Bears had three and games than the ravens and the ravens are in the playoffs and the bears had were 3 and 14 with the with the worst record but yeah the fact that they're trying look you can't ever let it out i i've come to the conclusion that if you're a gm or an owner you just have to be a dick and lie to these coaches because if you tell lovey smith he's going to get fired of course he's going to try to win right right what what incentive does he have to lose so you got to be like hey hey, Lovey, you're sticking around. Hey, go look for houses this weekend. Don't even worry about it. If you want to win, win.

If you want to lose, lose. It's fine. This week 18 doesn't mean anything. And then pull the rug from underneath them. But you can't give a coach this much power, I don't think. Yeah, they should do like a more dramatic, they should have done a more dramatic version of what the Colts did with Jeff Saturday.

We've sadly parted ways with Lovie Smith for this last game. And we've hired Hakeem Olajuwon as our coach for the last game. Hakeem's never watched a football game before, but he's going to be on the sidelines for us today. And by the way, Davis Mills has a calf injury and he can't play.

And neither can our backup and we've brought back ken stable even though he's dead and he's gonna be a quarterback i like it all there's just there's no way if you're a good organization you can't win that game you just can't i know it's bad it's it's a lot of money to be able to even if you don't need the you know whatever like that now the bears could trade that down right because they're not gonna probably go for others and they probably won't take a quarterback in this spot, but they'll be able to trade down. It's so much value that one between the one and the two or anything else.

But yeah, I mean, they probably weren't counting out Davis mills at 28 yard touchdown to Jordan Atkins on or Atkins on 21, whatever. And so they covered themselves pretty well, except for the coach that was pissed off. Well, you watch way more college football than I do. Why wouldn't you, if you're the Bears, why wouldn't you rather have Bryce Young and pick him and trade fields? Because Bryce Young, you'd have for two extra years, right? You wouldn't have to worry about the free agent deal.

You'd have him for five years instead of fields with three. And you could argue he might be a better prospect than Fields. Because I have Bears fans in my life who are like, oh no, we're set with Fields. And I'm like, I like Fields, but really, are you set? There's not a quarterback in this draft that's better than Fields. And you could have him for that two extra years. It's not bad reasoning, but I feel like in this day and age where you hit like 35, 40% on quarterbacks in the last few years, you can't reasoning, but I feel like in this day and age where you hit like 35-40% on quarterbacks in the last few years, you can't say, and I like Bryce Young a lot. Nobody moves in the pocket

like he does, but he's being held hostage by Tua and being from that team. It matters. From the same school, both small. I'm not going to say non-contact hits, but they're coming when you're getting flung to the ground, not helmet-to-helmet stuff.

The small, the lack of size only matters in that regard. I could see Bears fans wanting to hold on to them, but either way, it's a mess for the Texans to win that game. Well, you have the Colts at the fourth pick. That could be the trade-up team, right? Vegas with the seventh pick. Yeah. That could be the trade-up team, right? Absolutely. Vegas with the seventh pick, but I think they would probably go for

some sort of veteran. And then Carolina with the ninth pick is another one that maybe could be a possible trade-up. Yeah. And then after that, I don't know. But yeah, I thought that was crazy.

And really, like, the Bears fans, it just, they were two and one. They went, what did they go?, they were two in one. They, they went, what did they go? One in 13 the rest of the way,

basically to get to the number one pick, like impossible. Um, yeah. The, uh, the Colonel Jessup award. Ooh.

Um, this goes toward, uh, you want the truth. You can't handle the truth. Oh, we found out some truths in week 18. Sam Darnold is

not a starting quarterback. I'm sorry, Carolina. I had Carolina at the wins total six and a half. I hedged it with this Buffalo, New Orleans, six and a half point tees, took New Orleans to three and a half. I think it's the first hedge I pulled off in eight years.

At one point, So I watched a ton of that game, even though it meant nothing at one point, Darnold was four for 13 for 22 yards, two picks, and he fumbled in the end zone that was recovered by his own team. And that was how they scored. He just couldn't have been worse. And then he finally completed one pass at the end, but I just don't think he's a starting quarterback. I don't think Baker Mayfield's a starting quarterback. There's a couple, any other guys that you're just like, okay, are we done here? Are we, we done with the roulette? Like Zach Wilson, we know he's not a starting quarterback.

Anybody else you're out on? Uh, well, first of all, I liked your tweet about Sam Darnold and about like he leads a league and, um, what'd you say? I'm getting surprised by a shotgun step that bounces off his helmet or shoulder pads? Yeah. Yeah. I think he's the career leader in that. I think you're right.

And I wouldn't be surprised. It's like a Johnny Knoxville move. Like someone in the locker room is installing a magnet into his face mask. And it's just like, just somehow it's bouncing off there. Like every four snaps or something. I think you're true. You said Baker, right? Was it true?

Yeah. Yeah. Write him you're true. You said Baker, right? Was it true? Yeah. Yeah. Write him off. Yeah. Anybody else? Dak Prescott, maybe. I don't know. You want to talk about that?

I had that. I had that for saddest moment where it's like, all right, the Cowboys don't really need this game. But at the same time, like it's got a little offense going here.

You know, you got got to go into Tampa next week. You're playing grass. The the same time, let's get a little offense going here. You got to go into Tampa next week. You got to play on grass. The clapper, Jason Garrett, during, I think, the halftime show or maybe the pregame show. He's concerned. Yeah, he was talking about the Cowboys outdoors on

grass. He didn't like it. And then he just grinned maniacally for some reason after he said it. I just thought you needed a little more today to get a little more money. It feels like you have no momentum whatsoever. Of course. It sucks. 14 for 37.

What do you have? 128. His passer rating was 45. I don't think he threw downfield. There was one reception for like 15 yards. But the only thing I could say about this team, and I wanted a clean Dak game. I really did. I did not want 14 to 37.

I didn't care if it meant something or not. But if you look at the interception leaders, the top eight, five of them are in the playoffs. I did this before and I thought Rogers was going to be Dak, Cousins, Burrow, Allen, Mahomes. So if you throw enough, it's going to happen, but

we'll get to this line. I mean, I thought a couple weeks ago this would be six or seven, and that is not the case. I do not want Tom Brady being the hotter quarterback of the two. More Colonel Jessup. You can't handle the truth. The Belichick coaching

staff, if that wasn't a wake-up call today, they gave up two more special teams touchdowns. This is an 8-9 team. Like, Hench was texting me, like, do you think the defense is going to get in a fistfight with the offense or the special teams? I mean, some of the defense is on the special teams,

but this was an 8-9 team where they probably blew four games just on dumb shit. You know, the game management, special teams, all this stuff. And I'm going to be really interested to see if the Crafts meddle with Belichick shit. The game management, special teams, all this stuff. I'm going to be really interested to see if the Crafts meddle with Belichick because this is the worst coaching staff he's ever had. They have to fix it.

They've never really meddled with him that much other than with the Brady Garoppolo thing. I'm just going to be interested to see what happens because their defense was good enough to be in the playoffs. Their offense got a little momentum. Today was the best the offense has looked all year. Today was the best the offenses looked all year. It was the best Max looked all year. It actually had the makings of something,

but the special teams just killed them. Well, you also have like, don't you have seven defensive touchdowns and two special teams touchdowns yourself? So you live by the sword. Defensive, yeah. No, seven defensive, two kick returns. Two kick returns, yeah.

I don't think that's a bad thing. They could make it like, Belichick can't be happy with the supporting cast. Why don't think that's a bad thing. They can make it like... Belichick can't be happy with the supporting cast. Why can't he fire him? They can make it like it was inspired by the front office, but let him get rid of some of these guys. He's got to know

deep down he can't win with lackluster coaching like this. I would hope so. Most underrated storyline. I'll give you two. Three Florida playoff teams. Oh, is that right? Do you realize that?

Do you know when the last time that happened was? What year? Ponce de Leon discovered. Hold on. Let me work backwards here. No, I don't know. What year?

It was the first year I ever had my sports guy column. 1997. It was the last time we had all three Florida teams. That's kind of amazing because so many teams make the playoffs. I would have thought that would have happened sooner than that, but no. Jacksonville and Tampa.

What were the odds? What kind of odds could you have gotten that even a month ago? Yeah, or them hosting playoff games. Right. But that's not the most underrated storyline. The most underrated storyline is Brock Purdy is now 6-0. And you don't even bat an eyelash anymore as he's whipping

touchdowns around. I can't believe... I actually think this should be a bigger story. And there's been all these giant stories that have come out of nowhere, and rightfully so, have shoved some of the normal football stories to the side. But this Brock Purdy thing's an incredible, like I, well, once in a decade monkey wrench, we talked about it when it first happened, like, all right, here are the examples of when this has worked out. Kurt Warner with Trent Green,

Jeff Hostetler in that Giants year. There's been a couple and we're like, ah, you know, they have a really good team, maybe, but I think the guy is one of the 10 best quarterbacks in the league. I haven't seen him look bad yet. Have you? No. Well, he had a tough quarter against the Raiders, I guess. That's why they broke

him, right? But he also was 10 points down or 10 double digits down. Came back one. I think he's really good. I think this team is excellent. And if I want to power rank the NFC teams, forget about the seedings. I think they're number one. And I'm not excited because they beat up David Blau and Chase McSorley. I know that combo wasn't going to get it done.

But just this defense. They allow like 270 yards. More often than not, they're a dynamite team. And I think they are the toughest out in the league. Well, the crazy thing about them, I mean, think about how this broke for them. They get the Seahawks

in week one. In the round two, it's going to be the 2-3 probably. Maybe the Vikings. Yep. If it's not the Vikings, it's the Cowboys or Bucks, but let's say it's the Vikings. They were able to flip that where it looked like they would have to go into

Minnesota. Who knows? It's weird there. Now Minnesota has to go there. I don't like their chances at all. And then they'll ask him, they they're like, if we're creating a team in a lab to play Philadelphia,

you create the Niners, like really strong pass rush, really well coached, can jam the ball down your throat, couple of skill guys. That's a Philly worst nightmare. So all three of those, I was going to ask you what's your biggest betting regret of this year? Because mine was there was that moment when Purdy came in and we both really liked them. And I just stared at it. It was like Niners 18 to one or 20 to one, something like that. And I just stared at it and I didn't Niners 18 to one or 20 to one, something like that. And I just stared at it and I didn't do anything.

And for the Superbowl and now it's like, and the moment was gone within a week and that was it. But I really wish I just bet it when I, when I felt it. Yeah. Mine would be the six weeks in a row. I lost on a Tampa green Bay teaser. Probably. I can't really name one.

Yeah, I mean, you say, are you concerned as a Cowboy fan? I think Eagles fan should be also, right? No Saquon, no Dory Jackson, no Danny Dimes. Davis Webb starts. Hurts, is he back? I don't know. You want to see a decent game? His QBR was like less than 25.

So that's why I'd like to be able to bet that an NFC East team will not win the Super Bowl. I'd put almost anything I had on that. And I'm not just being like a contrarian. What would the odds on that be? They're probably like minus 700. Yeah, like minus 600. Yeah. Yeah, right in there.

But to your point with the Niners, I don't see any bad matchups for the Niners even go to the AFC side I really don't not that they're going to blow everybody out but you name you put any opponent possible on their schedule I'm like yeah that's fine yeah they should be able to handle them well that I had that as, I had best playoff storylines for you that I just jotted down. And one of them is that on February 12th, we could be like, wow, Brock Purdy is 10 and 0. And he's a Super Bowl champion. That's an actual thing that could happen. Right? Tom Brady could be a 45-year-old Super Bowl champ.

That's a thing that could happen. Right. We could have the Bills win their first Super Bowl ever during this just absolutely insane, emotional DeMar Hamlin week. And you know he'll probably be there at the playoff game, I would guess. Either one of the next couple, and he's going to be such a big part of this whole run. That would be the most emotional angle for a variety of reasons. We could have Bosa versus Bosa.

Chargers, Chargers, Niners. You and I bet on the Chargers. What do we get? 12 to one for AFC. And then we didn't talk about this, but,

but, uh, Oh, I had this for the Groundhog Day Awards. Every week, 18, there's some coach that defies the player starters thing and everybody gets mad.

Same argument every week. There's arguments for and against it, Every week 18, there's some coach that defies the player starters thing and everybody gets mad. Same argument every week. There's arguments for and against it, but Staley does it with the Chargers, and of course, Mike Williams gets hurt. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I see what you're saying.

Which hurt our 12-1. Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's not great. It's not great. I still like them at that spot. Me too. I have no regrets on the 12-1.

So we got that with Bosa versus Bosa. We have the Jerry Jones finally. That's the storyline. If you could sum it up in four in a row. Same thing for Cincy. Cincy's never won. Contract year Lamar. If they pulled off round one,

he gets momentum in round two. That could be really fun. If the Chargers got to the Super Bowl, two straight LA Super Bowls would be super weird. Oh, that's good. I'm sorry. I was just thinking with Lamar. How much would you have to pay a guy who may not ever play again? He announces it, too.

He's like, look, we can go to arbitration. I'm never going to play again, but I know I'm worth like $33 million a year. They kept him out. All that stuff about Cincinnati and the coin flip and everything, it never mattered because he wasn't going to play. I just don't think he's, I don't know. We'll get to the lines, but that guy is not ready either. There's some bad buzz about him not staying there.

I've heard from some pretty reliable people that it just seems like there's a separation coming. The Watson thing became this Black Swan event, right? We talked about this with the Gobert trade in the NBA. It's the same thing where it just completely discombobulated a couple teams. Anyway, yeah, we could have two LA champions in back-to-back years, which would be hilarious is same thing where it's just like completely discombobulated a couple teams anyway uh yeah we could have two la champions and back-to-back years which would be hilarious because everybody who lives in la nobody roots for either of the la teams except how many rams or chargers fans do you

know no i i didn't know anyone who went to i think i knew one person who went to last week's game when they played each other i mean that is so sad i know our friend Nathan Hubbard. His son is a huge Rams fan. Yeah. Jackson. So I got him. That's it. They're doing it for Jackson. That's basically, they built the stadium for Jackson. I feel like Mina Kimes is a closet Chargers

fan. Oh, okay. Yeah, like closet. That's it. I don't really know any Rams or Chargers fans. Oh, and one more fun storyline. And it's set up. There's some,

there's a day ball, Brian day ball. Um, like kind of Parcells 2.0 possibility. If he goes in and beats Minnesota and then, you know, round two, then they would play Philly, right?

Goes into Philly. Philly hasn't really had hurts for a month. They're a little more banged up than you think. They played them well the last couple of years, a couple of times. I guarantee if I'm the Eagles, I'm so much rather wanting to play Tampa or Dallas than the Giant, that weird Giants team.

I would not want to see them and they could somehow get, and also we talk about the Niners choke. Yeah. And then we, we all, we talk about all the time. The giant should absolutely despise the Eagles, right?

Like trading, trading right before the giants pick to get the receiver they wanted sitting, uh, Jalen hurts and kicking the giants out of the playoffs against Washington. So yeah, there's that part of it too.

I think I ranked my coaches just out of curiosity to see who I thought the best coach left was. I think he's the best coach. I really do. I think he was incredible this year. That roster was garbage. And he lifted guys. He made guys better.

He turned people into stuff that nobody expected. He rejuvenated guys. I just would not want to see that guy in a playoff game. And I can't wait to find out what the Vikings line is because I sent you my guess, but I'm not sure. And then I had a category for I think I'm good. I think I'm good with this. Francesa came out against... I think I'm good. I think I'm good with this.

Francesa came out against... I think I'm good. You're over it, you mean? Steve Kornacki doing the playoff percentages. I think I'm good. He's a nice guy. I agreed with Francesa's tweet, though. Once we get into week 18 where it's like there's three scenarios left,

I don't need somebody at a board frantically pointing out stuff. It's like, all right, so if the Packers win, they're in, and if they don't win, Seattle's in. I don't need somebody at a board frantically pointing out stuff. It's like, all right, so if the Packers win, they're in. If they don't win, Seattle's in. I don't need you at the board. Definitely didn't need them this week to tell us that the Chargers-Jaguars is 50-50. What are we going to do with that information?

What if it's even 50-50? Just use a fucking gambling line. If we didn't guess the lines, I'm like, oh, what do you have for Bill's Dolphins? I have Bill's 90-10. What language are we talking? They kept them on a week too long. I agree. But in general, maybe we shouldn't be agreeing with Francesca's tweets

too much. We'll make the exception. I think I'm good with the NFL's DQ rule. Today in the Carolina-Norwens game, Dante Foreman and Davenport, they got mad at each other and then hit each other in the helmet. It was harmless. They're like, you're out. You're both out.

Soccer has yellow cards. In high school soccer, if you get a yellow card, you have to leave the field for a play and come back in. It just seems like maybe you get ejected for a quarter or a half, or there's a time limit. In hockey, it's five minutes, ten minutes. Does Dante Foreman have to get kicked out of that game?

There's only 17 games. People are betting on this. These are reasons to kick guys out. And they say, if you ask why they do that, well, we don't want brawls. We don't want full-scale brawls. Football, miraculously, has the least of that. Soccer has more.

Hockey has it, obviously. Even baseball, you see the fat pitchers running out. Then by the time they get to the mound, it's over. But football does a great job. I think these guys are just too exhausted to brawl. So to make a statement and to set an example of a player is kind of dumb.

It just doesn't even make sense. I have two more. I think I'm good. Do you have any? I think I'm good. Anything sticking in your crowd? Let me think about it. I couldn't.

Well, think about it. I'll give you this next one. Okay, go ahead. Give me your one more. Yep. ESPN comes game yesterday, halftime,

five people, two and a half minutes. It's 2023. How are we still doing this? How do we have five people at a halftime show? That's 150 seconds. What kind of, what kind of entertainment are we expecting? And then during it, they throw it at Adam Schefter. So it's really six people. What are we expecting? We need six people for three minutes of content? How about two? I mean, I guess the fear would be you go the other way and you're in that Jason Garrett, Tony Dungy, what the hell is going on situation.

But do we need five? We don't need five. If not, none of them are going to talk gambling. I don't need, we don't need five. I'm not just saying that because that's what we do. But we don't imagine five in this day and age and we're not talking gambling and barely talking

fantasy at this point. Ridiculous. My last one is Prince Harry. Oh, yeah. Shoot this guy to the sun. I'm so tired of this guy. What does he bring to the table? He just whines about shit. He keeps giving interviews. Who gives a shit? Who cares

about your life? You weren't even like the favorite son. The other guy was the king. You're like the fucking Fredo. Our wives care. Our wives care about them. They don't even care. Does your wife care about Prince Harry? Nobody cares about this.

He had a fucking eight episode Netflix show. What did we find out? Yeah. I'm with you. Yeah, that's enough. I can't stand him. So tired. I'm so embarrassed that I fucking have to share Spotify with him.

The guy sucks. Did you? Oh, you don't have to share with anybody. Didn't they'm so embarrassed that I fucking have to share Spotify with him. The guy sucks. Did you? Oh, you don't have to share with anybody. Didn't they tell you? You don't have to share. Oh, I don't? I get to keep it. Yeah, you're right.

No, you're good. You get to share with him. I don't have to share with him. By the way, the news is just coming in. It's embarrassing that he's on our platform. He's replacing Kornacki, Prince Harry. That's not good. We don't want that.

It'll be the first productive thing he did. What does he do? It's one of those things where it's like, what's your talent? Why are we listening to you? What's your talent? So you were born in a royal family and then you did. What does he do? It's one of those things where it's like, what's your talent? Why are we listening to you? What's your talent? So you were born in a royal family and then you left. What are you good at? Yeah, he didn't do anything there.

And now he's going to come here and do nothing. Yeah, you live in fucking Montecito and you sell documentaries and podcasts and nobody cares what you have to say about anything unless you talk about the royal family. You just complain about them. He's got a book. What did he write a book about honestly he's the worst all right let's take a break and then we'll do uh we'll do guess the lines when you ride transit please be safe yeah be, be safe. Because what you do, others will do too.

Others will do it too. So don't take shortcuts across tracks. Don't do that. In fact, just don't walk on tracks at all. Not at all. Trains move quietly, so you won't hear them coming. You won't hear them coming. See, safe riding sets an example.

Yeah, an example for me. Because safety is learned. It's learned. Okay, give it up. Give what up? Really? Really, really. This message is brought to you by Metrolinx.

Okay, so they screwed us with Guest Alliance when they added this Monday game. Right, for the next week, yeah. Because we had to come on Sunday night and only five of the six games would be decided. They weren't thinking about us, Sal. I don't know why. They didn't have us in mind with this new schedule. Well, they kind of did. Well, first of all, I'm delighted to not have to.

You're not going to have this over me. Like, yeah, you just lost. Cowboys, talk, boy. You're not going to have that moment. But it's a 4-5, so we'll know the matchups. We'll be able to pick lines next week, right? Even without knowing that result. We'll just have no idea what's happening.

Okay. First game. Saturday. The Shakey's Bowl. We weren't expecting Geno Smith to crash the party holding a large pepperoni pizza. No. But here he is. Geno Smith, Brock Purdy. The 50th annual Shakey's Bowl.

It is in San Francisco. I think it's double digits and I probably went too low I guess 10.5 Niners you said 10.5? yeah alright you get it I said 9 I was going to say 9.5 it's 10 it's exactly 10

Gino is going to try to steal all the Mojo potatoes from underneath us, but we can't let it happen. It's a playoff team. Normally you say, let's throw them in a three-team tease and then I get mad at you and remind you that three-team teases, we usually lose. It's a bad idea. I am throwing the Niners in a three-team tease.

I think there is such a talent disparity between those two teams. Even the Seattle fans can't believe they're in the playoffs like honestly they can't believe it they barely beat Baker Mayfield and this Rams team that didn't have Aaron Donald or Cooper Cup and they were home and they barely won they were losing

in the fourth quarter or tied whatever I just think that's a three teamer what an incredible spot for the Niners look I just ranked that's a three-teamer. What an incredible spot for the Niners. Look, I just ranked them number one in my power ranking. I have to take them. Forget about three-team tees. I have to take them minus 10.

I don't think the Seahawks are in this game. I don't think they've looked impressive at all. They beat the Jets. We learned that Mike White had seven broken ribs. Brock Purdy is the real deal. He's got some juice, and he's got some not playoff experience, but I'll take him over Geno Smith. That's for sure.

I like this. This is a crushing, I think. That's a really tough spot. It's too bad. It's too bad that's the matchup. I think the Niners-Detroit would have been a good game. I think the Niners would have won, but I actually think the Niners,

they would have had to at least work for that one. Sure. With that said, we see every year in the playoffs that nobody believes in us as the most powerful factor in sports. I just don't know if Seattle has enough talent to even qualify for nobody believes in us. Next week, they'll be. Not this week.

You might be better off to just take all favorites this week, but we'll go over them. The Saturday night game is Chargers-Jags. It's in Jacksonville. It is going to be a week of hearing about Herbert and Lawrence, two of the best young quarterbacks in the league, two tall guys, two tall guys that can run, two kind of weirdly unusual-looking quarterbacks.

They have their distinct look. They don't really look like any other quarterbacks we've seen. I didn't think Lawrence was good in that Titans game. I thought he left a lot of throws and plays on the table. He made a couple, but for the most part, I thought he was... Didn't you think he was pretty shaky in that Tennessee game? Yeah, well, I

know you had the Jaguars, but I thought Dobbs was better than Lawrence. Lawrence was over three quarters. Wasn't solid. They told us that Josh Dobbs was better than Lawrence. Yeah, Lawrence was over three quarters. Wasn't solid. And, you know, they told us that Josh Dobbs is smart. And he did play smart. I mean, they mentioned it like six times at telecast. He's an aerospace engineer major, right?

But then I feel like they shouldn't do that because then you make a stupid throw. And everyone's like, oh, why is this smart guy making a stupid throw? It's the Jason Garrett Princeton thing. I was like, I'll never send my kid to Princeton now because Jason Garrett went there. I'd rather be like a dumb... Wouldn't you rather be like, yeah, he graduated University of Phoenix. Well, surprisingly

wise move to get rid of the ball there, but I don't know. I didn't think Lawrence was great. I thought Vrabel played a physical game and it just... I think this is good value. Maybe we make a lot of money Saturday. I said Saturday sucks.

We'll go over the line here, but I think there's a lot of good value with the Chargers right now. So Dobbs, I had the Jacksonville Jaguars in the tees in million dollar picks in real life and really started to get freaked out about Dobbs about halfway through the third quarter because he just wasn't making mistakes.

He had the long pick on the bomb, right? Where it's like, whatever, that's kind of like a punt. His big mistake, he got strip sacked, and they were like, he should have seen that coming. I'm like, I don't know, should he? Like, he's back to pass, who knows. The big mistake was the fourth and 17. Not that they're going to get that anyway,

but he did the classic David Carr check down to the guy who got tackled five yards in front of the marker on fourth and 17. Not that they're going to get that anyway, but he did the classic David Carr check down to the guy who got tackled five yards in front of the marker on fourth and 17. That's literally the only thing you can't do. You have to throw it over the marker and maybe get a PI or just lob it to Burks, hope something happens. I was at a bar on the

strip sack play, so I couldn't hear what was being said, but I just saw that the Jaguars took over. I'm pretty convinced after seeing that now 15 times that his, he had, it's one of those things where they hit the ball, but he still continues his motion. He's got the ball at the,

when he hits the apex and he throws that damn ball forward. Like, how did they not, I guess they reviewed it for three seconds, but I've seen that called incomplete 90% this year. I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm with you. They,

it seemed like the ball separated from his hand by like a one eighth of an inch. And I think that's, as soon as the ball isn't attached to your hand for a split second, it becomes a fumble, even though there's a throwing motion, but you're right. Like,

how is that? You think like, even though he threw it, it shouldn't be much different than like the tuck rule call with Brady or like the Patriots game today where we had a touchdown, the guy face guarded. Um, I think it was Jacoby Myers and then hit him before he caught it.

And they're like, no, that's a good play. I'm like, I watch football every week. That's a pass interference nine out of ten times. That time it wasn't. So there is no rhyme or reason to have this stuff. Yeah.

I have the Chargers favored by three, and I wish that's what I sent you. I wish I had said three and a half, but I said Chargers by three. Oh, do you want to change it? I'll let you change it. No, I don't want to. I'll let you change it. It's a new year. I had three also.

It's only one and a half. I think it was two and a half, and also. It's only one and a half. I think it was two and a half and it went down now to one and a half. But either way, we both had three. Wow. Now they got crushed

the first time. They played them week two and the Jaguars just ate them up in so far. But who cares? It's never a home game for the Chargers anyway.

I really like them this week. Yeah. If you're making the case for the Jags, you have to be concerned Lawrence didn't look that good in basically a playoff game. They didn't run the ball at all. Peterson always does two things

that just make me uncomfortable. Just fourth downs, it's like, why here? Why are you doing this? I just think the Chargers are better. And we've, I mean, as I said earlier, we've already bet on them to win the AFC. So I don't, I obviously know where we're leaning on this one. I think that line should be three. Maybe this is our third team in that teaser plus eight and a half. And why do we have to freak out here and just take all winners? We'll stay within a touchdown. Well, I'll tell you this.

If Mike Williams isn't going to play, I feel differently. Because it feels like there's two different teams. When he's out there and then it just seems like they have weapons everywhere at all times and it just seems like Eckhart's better and you can go around. Allen's running better, it

seems like. But then you remove him. Why did they play? better and you can go around. Allen's running better, it seems like. Right. But then you remove him. Why did they play? Why did they play? They were a five no matter what as soon as the Ravens lost. So I've heard some people talk about this because they took away all these padded practices. It's really like their only chance to run around and hit some people for the coaches.

So I think that's why we're seeing in these last weeks of the season now, people are a little more brazen about who plays. But with Mike Williams, I would put that guy in fucking bubble wrap because he gets hurt all the time. I wouldn't want him out there. You know who's injury prone and who's not. So you have to

pad up whenever you can on your own. I would have sat him and I would have sat Keenan Allen. Cause it just, it seems like every game where he doesn't pull something is a miracle at this point. All right, let's go to Sunday. I still think this should have been the shakiest game. Bill's Dolphins. It's in Buffalo. Obviously we have no idea who the Miami quarterback is going to be, but I really hope it's not Tua. I went 13 and a half

because of the Niners-Bills three-teamer thing. And I just feel like they bump, once it gets past like 11, 12, they bump this so that you really have to think about it if you're putting the team in the three-teamer. So I went Bills 13 and a half.

It all makes sense, but I think it's also why we need to stop recording now and put the teaser in because it's 10.5. I said 11, so I get that one. Whoa. Yeah, but I think you're right. I think it could go to 13 and screw us there. And I think the Niners could move off 10.

I think our three-teamer is right there, right there staring at us, and we could have most of the weekend to just enjoy the other three games. But the Bills should kill them. The only thing that worries me with the Dolphins is Mostert is running the shit out of the ball lately. I thought he was excellent today in that Jets game. He was like the only good

thing they had. And I think you can run on the Bills. The Pats move the ball on the bills that whole game. Like I don't think the bills defense is that good. Somebody is going to go in there and give them trouble. I just don't think it's the quarterback that I watched today. And if Tua comes back, which I just, I again would think that would be a massive mistake, but man, I almost wish they could just sign Josh Dobbs. Just,

I mean, he's, he's so smart. He could just pick up their offense. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think it could be Skylar Thompson. I just don't think he's an NFL quarterback. So I don't know really what you do. Well, man, he's so smart. I thought maybe he could telepathically send signals to Skylar Thompson and make them better.

They can hire Dobbs as a consultant. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think just best case scenario, though, it's like, what is it? Like 23-13 in the fourth, and then you need Thompson to score. Then you might get screwed on the spread, but I don't see this guy keeping up. It looked like Hill was banged up in the game today, too.

Yeah, he came out. They took him out at one point, and he doesn't seem like he's running the same like he was earlier in the season. So I think you're catching the Dolphins at a great time. The team has not played well. That Jets game was embarrassing because Flacco and, you know, the Jets were missing their whole offensive line.

Flacco was just in distress and couldn't do anything. He was missing poor Garrett Wilson. Garrett Wilson, get that dude a therapist in the offseason after all the terrible throws he saw this year. But they were almost better off giving the Dolphins the ball. There were a couple of situations where they would have been third and eight instead of third and 18.

It was like, this is probably better for them to just hand off and then pump back to the Dolphins and hope Skyler Thompson gives them something. But this is another mismatch. I think Niner Seahawks and Bill's Dolphins are like real mismatches.

In the old days where we had big disparities in the lines when it was 16 playoffs, the teams were still pretty good that were in the playoffs. These teams I don't think are playoff teams. No, I'm with you. Well, it's because they added one and they almost added another. That would have been a terrible, like I would have been okay.

And obviously, you know, the Hamlin, like, all right, however they want to handle it, it's secondary. But the one thing that would have really been like, huh, that's awful is adding an eighth playoff team. And that got some traction like up until the last day. So, you know, that would have been bad. Imagine an eighth playoff team having imagine the Jaguars having just as much advantage as the Chiefs. Like nobody gets a bye.

That'd be ridiculous. So, yeah, there's some bad teams. Hopefully they go away this week. Yeah. All right. Second Sunday game is a good one and I am just I'm bringing in

Michael Conrad from Hill Street Blues and doing the let's be careful out there because I just think everybody's gonna have the Giants this week

in Minnesota it is it's the obvious pick nobody's gonna be making a case for Minnesota this this game

hits 17 red flags in my playoff manifesto. We'll see what the line is. I guessed it's in Minnesota. I guessed Vikings by two and a half. I almost went one and a half. And then I was like, wait a second. Danny Dimes, come on. It's got to be at least two and a half.

So Vikings two and a half. What is it? So this is weird, right? Because the Giants are a team that got screwed by Vegas all year. They'd get points from Washington when they were home. And Minnesota the same way. What were they giving? Three to the Colts in that crazy game.

So you're like, oh, man, Vegas and the odds makers just hate these teams. I went higher. I thought it would be four. It's three. So you get it. It's right there at three. I don't know if it moves either, honestly. I think it moves to two and a half I think they're going to

try to convince people to take the Vikings and all week whatever podcast radio show you're listening I'll tell you what I like the Giants my underdog pick

is the Giants that's just going to be the sexy team they'll get 80% of the bets and we have watched this with this garbage Vikings team all year. They just have a knack. Now, the one thing is if they're missing both of their centers and they're on their third string center, that's not nothing.

And also, as we've said, I do like this Giants team. I think they're hard to play. I was excited if they were potentially going to San Francisco because I think that would have been a hard game for San Francisco because the Giants are so weird. But I'm going to end up taking the Giants, and I'm going to hate myself when the Vikings win by four. I'm just telling you now.

Well, one of us will be happy, because I think I'm going to take the Vikings. And it really is hypocritical, because for months and months, we're like, oh, this is an awful team, and they have a minus plus 19 differential, even though they're 12 and two, whatever they were, 12 and three. It's a disgraceful.

I kind of like them now. I don't know. I think it's because I'm looking at the slate. There's so many worst playoff teams. And I know I'm not going to be right about everything. Yeah, I think the Vikings, I'm not going to say got hot at the right time, but they got a little less bad than a team with a record should have. Even day ball today in that Eagles game, which they should have lost by 30. And there was like a record should have. Even day ball today in that Eagles game, which they should have lost by 30,

and it was like a one-score game. What's happening? They're trying to lose. How are they now? But they can't help themselves. I'm very nervous of that game, and I'm nervous about the amount of money I'm going to put on the Giants. No, we don't have to bet every game. That's the one.

I think there's clear winners in every game. I'm going to put on the Giants. No, we don't have to bet every game. That's the one. I think there's clear winners in every game. I'm going to end up teasing the Niners, Bills, and the Giants is what's going to end up happening. Oh, boy. Oh, no. All right. You do what you want. You're on your own, pal.

I did really well today. You did, right? I did well. How have you not announced? I was on it today. You were texting me about our, I told you that guy Chris Haynes is a super fan and I met him this week in Vegas.

He kept track of all of our over-unders and everything and you smoked me. Well, I had the greatest over-under year of my life. We should tell the listeners because they heard that pod. So Sal and I, before the season, we did our over-under podcast and we picked every game

and we did the overs. Now some of them there's bigs, right? It's like minus 40, minus 150. So we always feel like we should go 18 and 14 at least, right? Because there's some juice. That's what I was, right? Yeah. No, you went 18, 13 and one, but we had some bad luck. Like the chargers. I think that we had the chargers, the air over was 10 and then I'm hitting the over. Exactly. I went 24, seven and one. Pretty good. It's unbelievable. It's easily the best I've ever done. I've had some 20 and 12s. And I think I met even at a 21 and 21 and a whatever, 11 once, but not that. Well, that's not even the best part. Mention your locks.

I'm giving you a good couple minutes here. Yeah, thank you. I went 7-0 on my locks. That's incredible. That's pretty good. I had... Let me see. I had... It doesn't have to be this long.

I had the Pats. Pats under 8.5 was a lock. Cincy over 9.5. Cleveland under 8.5. Casey over 10.5. Philly over 9.5. Minnesota over 9.5. And Arizona under 8.5, which was our favorite bet.

And then one of the big bets we did in real life was Casey to make the playoffs, Arizona to miss the playoffs, which we clin favorite bet. And then one of the big bets we did in real life was KC to make the playoffs Arizona to miss the playoffs, which we clinched in like week 11. So I had a really good future year and then the season was pretty mixed. It was pretty up and down because it kept getting

sucked into stupid shit like the Tampa Green Bay team. That's it. That was the killer. We did the over-unders. Yeah, that was good. Let me tell a quick story about Vegas. I have tickets for the Vikings to make the playoffs and the Cardinals to not make the

playoffs. When I cash these, it's like $900. I'm like, it's Saturday. I know the season's not over. They may give me a hard time, even though the Vikings have made the playoffs and the Cardinals have not made the playoffs. I go and I tell the guy. It's no. I know the season's not over. They may give me a hard time, even though the Vikings have made the playoffs and the Cardinals have not made the playoffs. So I go and I tell the guy, and it's no one who we do business with, so it's fine.

So I go to the desk and I say, hey, I don't know, you haven't graded this yet, but can you put this through and see what happens? The Vikings to make the playoffs. He's like, well, we're not paying this out. The Vikings didn't make the playoffs. And I said, well, they did. They made the playoffs. But if you're not paying it out, I can wait till Monday. I just didn't want to go to the ATM. He's like, the Vikings did not make the playoffs because there are no playoffs. And then the guy next to him is like, no, they

made it. He's just, look, we haven't graded it yet. I'm like, I understand. He's like, okay, well then don't come here because they didn't make the play. I said, listen to me. I don't want you to sound uninformed when someone like me comes up to you in the next two days. The Vikings made the damn playoffs. I could show you a thousand articles from three weeks ago. You could say the playoffs haven't started yet and we haven't great. He's like, don't you tell me I'm uninformed. This guy's yelling at me now.

And my wife and Melissa is like, oh, all right, let's get out of here. I'm like, so you can be damn sure. I hope he's there. I'm going to wait until he's working. I might even have to stay here an extra week so I could cash. My Vikings made the playoffs ticket right in front of his slimy face. There you go. Oh,

that's fantastic. Yeah. Well, there was another, one of the things was this Bengals overbet that the casinos and whoever had to decide by their honor, because when you bet the future, you bet the over-unders.

There's a thing in there that's like every game in the schedule has to be played. The Bengals had already had the over. They were 11 and four when the bills game got canceled. So it opened the door for somebody said, no, see the fine print. But it seemed like most casinos honored it,

but they should. That's stupid. It's like, well, they went 16-0. Yeah, but they didn't play 17 games. Their over-under was 10-1. What? Just do the math. It's the same world where

instead of 3-2 blackjack, they decide that it's 6-5. They make their rules, whatever I want. Anyway. All right. Two more games. Bengals-Ravens, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Tough one because

I assume Lamar will play, but we have no idea. Ridiculous. What he's going to be physically. Thought it was very strange that they just scratched Huntley. It's almost like they didn't want to show Cincy anything this week. I went Bengals by six in Cincinnati.

Yeah, so you beat me. You get it exactly. I said seven. I think it should be higher. What have we seen out of Baltimore? It's the same thing as the Dolphins situation, right? I'm not sure that even with a fresh Lamar Jackson that this team can stay with a touchdown.

Are you? It reminds me of that Jacksonville-Tinus Sea line, which was also six, where, yeah, no, they should. And then it's like, we've seen the Ravens do this, where it's like, if you're going to beat them, it's 13-9 in the fourth quarter. It's 12-10. It's 16-13, 12 to 10.

It's 16, 13. They always like hang around for three quarters. And I think, I think they factor that in with these lines where once you get past seven and the Ravens are up three in the fourth quarter, you know, you've already lost the bet. Right. So that was, that was my guess. I was trying to figure out like,

would I feel comfortable laying anything more than six with the Bengals? And that was why I picked six. Because once you get to seven, I don't know. But I could also see them winning by 30. I think you're really good. I'm going against the green with the Chiefs and Bills, and I'm taking the Bengals and Chargers to win the AFC. I think the Bengals are just a tough, tough AFC North ball

and have great skill position players all around. I mean, that's exactly what you would want, right? In a team in January or any month. I think they're clicking now. I think it's wide open because I do think you can move the ball on the bills and Allen does still have like these two

or three throws per game that are just like, yeah, what's going on there. And Romo, Romo was saying during the broadcast, he felt like his arm looked better, but I don't know. He had a couple of wing.

He, he winged it a couple of times. So he definitely has more arm strength than he had. Right. I think it's wide open. I agree with him. The Bengals, I think they're right there with the cheats and the bills.

I think it's the three of them. And then the chargers is the wild card, but I don't, and we bet that chargers cause we like the odds. Yeah. I think it's the three of them. And then the Chargers is the wild card, but I don't. And we bet that Chargers because we like the odds. Yeah. But if there's no Mike Williams, I don't feel great about that.

Anyway. All right. Here we go. The big one. Monday Night Football, Buck and Aikman. Cowboys at Tampa. So,

did we figure this out? How many times did you play Tampa? 1980, that was it what other Cowboys Bucks playoff games that's it yeah I didn't I didn't find any others

yeah I think you're favored I said Cowboys by two and a half yeah so this is what it's so funny because we knew

like since week six this was going to be a playoff game this was going to be a four or five matchup and like i said we grew the line we thought it'd be about six six and a half dac was not good uh brady connected with evans three times and then he did whatever he had to today i mean to set a completion record for all his great years and he said or write his own um a personal record today is absurd. I still kept it at three and it is three.

Hmm. You think that goes down your way? Yeah, let's... I do. I think it goes to two and a half because... And I think it should...

I personally think it should stay three, but I think Brady's going to be worth a half point as the week goes on. Right? And you start thinking about all the times they pulled these games out of their assholes.

You think about Mike McCarthy, how many games he's excreted from his asshole and the Cowboys in general. And then Dak, do we trust them? And on and on and on. And then Tampa being home. And, you know, if there's going to be a home dog this week, it's either them or the Jags.

I would lean toward Tampa. But I don't think Tampa's a good team. I think they've been better than they were, but I certainly don't think they're a good team. It would be a pretty catastrophic loss for the Cowboys to lose that Tampa team. Yeah, this is bad. This is bad. I mean, I'd much rather have caught them like three weeks ago.

As inconsistent as Dak is playing. That's when you want the Tampa. But this would be a bad loss. This is, you know, I don't think. A bad loss? This would be a catastrophe. What are you talking about? I don't think anybody trusts Brady enough to get this off a three.

I think it stays right at three. And they better win this damn game. I know. think anybody trusts Brady enough to get this off of three. I think it stays right at three. And they better win this damn game. I know. It is a catastrophe. I'm trying to downplay it already. I think at least the scenario is set up now that if you lose the game, coming off how you finished the season, McCarthy will get fired and you'll hire

Sean Payton. Really? That's what will happen. Wow. Yeah. Oh, then good. I hope we lose by three touchdowns. That's a good question. Turn the TikTok camera on, Kyle. Would you intentionally lose this game so you could have Sean Peyton as a coach? Yes.

Well, we're not going to win the Super Bowl anyway, so yeah. I want Sean Peyton over McCarthy. He's not going anywhere. Jerry kept Garrett around forever and this guy, McCarthy's got like what? 24 wins. How many wins in the last two years? It just don't,

they just don't do it there. Yeah. I kind of rooted against the Pats today. You should have. I wanted us to get a top 15 pick. I don't think we're a playoff team. I thought we were horribly coached. I thought we were,

there was no way in hell we were beating Buffalo two weeks in a row in a million years. It was never happening. And I thought for the sake of the long-term future of the franchise, it was probably better if we lost the game and came to the grips of the fact

that we were an 8-9 team and we needed to kind of rehaul some stuff. Right. I thought you were going to say because of Buffalo and the emotion and everything else and your junk team doesn't need to make the playoffs,

but that's all right. Well, that was there too. I mean, the kickoff return was pretty great. Yeah. That was pretty emotional. I thought it sounded like Romo got choked up.

I know. I know. It was weird. Did you think you were going to lose by 70 there? I did. When that happened, it was like,

oh my God, this is going to be like 60 to nothing. But in a weird way, playing downhill, there was so much emotion after the kick return that, um, I think it kind of helped the Pats. It was like,

yeah, it was just such an amazing moment. It was kind of hard to keep playing football after that. That really was incredible. Yeah. Um, I think, feel like Camlin will be at the game next week or the week after,

would be my guess. Because it seems like he's recovered really well already. Absolutely. And I think either that or they pop him up on the Jumbotron or something. They'll just get some excitement in that building either way. Incredible story. Jesus. When we went to dinner on Tuesday, we had no idea what was going to happen.

By Friday, he was tweeting. It's just crazy. Power of human spirit. It really is. How much, wow, just when you think Skip Bayless could get fired. Oh, no. I know what you're saying. That's the other side of it. Where do we think, let's guess where these lines

are going to end up. Niners, Seahawks. I think that ends up at 11.5. half yeah that'll go up a little bit yeah Chargers Jags I think gets to two and a half maybe Chargers three if Mike Williams is healthy but probably the two two and a half range right I'm I'm very surprised because I said it opened on two and a half and it's one and a half now so either somebody knows something Mike Williams is out already, they know, even though that might not be a point. Just stay off three.

I love the Chargers. Well, Mike Williams' Twitter searching today, there was a tweet about how he was being helped to the bus after the game. That didn't seem awesome. He couldn't walk to the bus on his own. He's not an old lady. Yeah, that's not great. If it was my dad, it would be one thing.

Bill's Dolphins, I think that gets to 13. I really do. I think that there's no way by the weekend that we're not at 13 with that game. They do not want us putting that in 13 teases. It's so right in the middle though, right? Is that line assuming that Tua is going to play? Because like I said, if it's Skylar Thompson,

it should be two touchdowns. If Tua plays, I genuinely feel like that's irresponsible, especially after what we just went through on Monday. You're going to put a guy who's had three concussions on a football field. I personally don't want to watch that. I agree with you on that. I'll watch it, but I won't feel good about it.

I think they make the call Tuesday, too. I think they're like, he's not playing. Put the fucking guy out for the year. Just do it. Why are we letting this linger? He said three concussions. Have Kristen Winski just talk to Kristen Winski for three minutes about this. Kristen Winski would be like, please don't play this guy again.

He's going to have permanent brain damage. Don't do it. You have to spread the concussions out, and three is too many for a career, let alone nine weeks. Seriously. Vikings-Giants. I think that ends at two and a half. What do you think?

No. You say three. Yeah, this is a three. It's a solid three. Bengals Ravens. If Lamar's playing, I could see drifting to like Ravens plus five and a half. Yeah. Ravens plus five.

Kind of Vegas. Yeah, maybe. So this is. So how many quarterbacks are we waiting for? Yeah, because I normally probably would have said five and a half. How many? So one, two. Is it just two?

It's just two quarterbacks. Two. Yeah. For these games. And whether Dak's going to show up for the season. I guess two and a half quarterbacks. Yeah, we got to see if Cooper Rush is available. They'll announce Thursday.

Available to start. And then Cowboys, you think three. I think it ends at two and a half. Yeah. I think Brady gets a half point bump. And then next year, Brady's on Vegas. You think he's here for sure,

huh? No, I, I, I don't think he's on Tampa. Yeah. I think there's, I still feel like there's a jet scenario that people aren't taking seriously.

Yeah. I don't think the Pats can be ruled out, but I certainly wouldn't make them the favorites. Vegas, he's got his kids on the East Coast and anyone I've ever asked about it just seems slightly unrealistic. And then the Carolina or New Orleans, if it's Sean Payton, if he's attached to Sean Payton,

I don't know why Sean Payton would take the Carolina job. The New Orleans thing, Brady going to New Orleans would just be weird. It seems like just a sideways move. I don't even know what the benefit of that is. Yeah, I think the people would be excited for him here in Vegas. I'm here in Vegas. I went to the

Raiders game, the Raiders Chiefs game, and it was 75-25 red. I'm here in Vegas. I went to the Raiders game, the Raiders Chiefs game, and it was 75-25 red. I saw that. They need something to turn that around. Obviously, they can't be as terrible as they've been, but it's a great stadium.

Whatever fans are there, we just want to root for the team. We all went, like a bunch of us, like eight of us, and we had really bad seats. When the ball was on the other side of the field, it was like watching from the top of the building guys doing construction six blocks away. It really is like

a soccer. Have you been to the stadium? Yeah, I went there for wrestling. I thought it was cool. It's weird where it's located because they made it basically impossible to get to even though the strip's right next to it. Yeah, you got to walk a mile to Mandalay Bay. Yeah, like, why wasn't there a little underground train that went right to the thing?

They didn't do any of that stuff. But I thought it was a pretty cool stadium. Yeah, I liked it a lot. All right, we're going to take a break. Come back, we'll do Parent Corner, and you got to tell us a couple of Vegas stories. Do you want me to read some reviews of prince harry's book or no yeah of course are they all by you he told michael strahan and good morning america about his brother there's always been this competition between us weirdly i think it really plays into, it was always played by the air and

spare labels. It's like, yeah, the other guy's the favorite son. That's how this works when you're in the royal family. One guy's the king and then the other guy, you're basically, if he doesn't die, you're just kind of on the side. That's how it goes. Sorry. You're still having a pretty great life. Nobody wants to hear you complain about stuff. I the accent i love it you gotta bring it out you want me to do some more yeah yeah do more uh oh he he called williams hair loss alarming he's somehow took a shit i i don't get alarmed He's alarmed. He's alarmed. Wow, I don't know. This is so funny.

Something must have happened. Your wife must have been like, she has a crush on him or something. No, you know what it was? My wife watched that entire Netflix show. And it turned into a huge thing. It was like, really? These two?

It's like the all-time infomercial about William and Meghan Markle. Yeah, I watched 10 minutes. Who's like the third lead on Suits. They have an eight-episode Netflix series. Yeah, you're good. You can watch us alone. It'sle. Yeah, I watched 10 minutes. The third lead on Suits. They have an eight-episode Netflix series. Yeah, you're good. You can watch this alone. It's fine.

Yeah. Didn't bother me. It's so good. What's going on in Vegas? Does Vegas seem normal again? Yeah, it is. I mean, it was packed. We walked the Caesars shops there.

And every restaurant in there there was like 20 people waiting to sit. And, yeah, it's back. I mean, a few masks, not too many, and just, you know, humanity everywhere. And, you know, I mean, the way you can tell, it's like

it's hard to find a $25 table. Still surly dealers, it felt like normal? Yeah, exactly. People felt like they were rooting against you to win three hands in a row? Rolling their eyes and chuckling under their breath. Great. I can't win a

blackjack. They could have invented a new game over the pandemic, right? Maybe at least go back to three to two blackjack rules if you get a blackjack as a little pandemic reward for us. We get it. I have 19.

You have seven, five, two, six. I get it already. You and I are going to see each other this week because it's the 20th anniversary party

of Jimmy Kimmel Live, which in 2003, the odds were 7,500 to one that there was going to be a 20th anniversary party. What about just like a fifth anniversary? It was probably, yeah. Yeah. I think it was, I think seven. Yeah. I think that's fair.

I think even Jimmy would say that. I wish we could go back in a time machine. You and I sat next to each other in the office and have some third person come in. Maybe Prince Harry. We give him something to do since he can't find a job. He could come in and tell us that 20 years from now, JKL will be celebrating its 20th anniversary. And just our reaction would have been unbelievable. Like what? The show's going to be on 20 years? It would have been inconceivable. Do you think

when Andy Milonakis was sleeping on our couch and I jumped bare ass onto his head, Prince Harry would have thought that was alarming? He definitely would have written a chapter about it in his book about how uncouth the Americans were. Right.

Oh, my God. It's going to be fun. I can't wait. I can't wait. There's probably 50 people you're going to want to stay away from, and me too, but it's going to be terrific. I can't wait. I feel like whatever flu is going around,

all of us will get it after the party. It's going to be awesome. Let's do Parent Corner. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by CarMax. Looking for a set of wheels that's right for you? Get a 30-day back money guarantee when you shop at CarMax. Now you can have 30 whole days up to 1,500 miles to decide if a car is the right vibe for you, or if you can return it, and then you get a refund. See CarMax.com for details. CarMax, car buying reimagined. All right.

What do you got, Sal? All right. So my wife came with me for the first two days of this trip, and I have two more days left. So she's gone. But in the first couple of days, she asked me the first night, she said, how do I put in a money line parlay for the Clippers, Mavericks, and the LA Kings? I think those were the two. So one hockey hockey to basketball. And I was like,

you're way faster than this. Yeah. She's asking me. And so I have all the sheets. That's one of my favorite things is collecting those sheets, you know, like with futures or the dailies and everything. I actually like tape them on the wall.

Like I'm a mad man looking through these things. So I'm like, all right, look, if you're going to go down there, just don't, don't drive the clerks crazy much like I did with, all right, look, if you're going to go down there, just don't drive the clerks crazy, much like I did with having them cash a couple of days earlier a team to make a playoff parlay. But I was like, all right, so it's $51.

So you go, you say, I want $50 on the three-team parlay, $51.90, $52.17. And she's like, okay, all right. She's like, so how do you know? But it's got to be Moneyline. I don't want to bet the parlay. I was like, what are you talking about? Where is this even coming from? She's like, well how do you know? But it's gotta be Moneyline. I don't want to bet the ball. I was like, what is it? What are you talking about? Where is this even coming from? She's like, well, Archie wants to put in some bets. So he sent it to me, my oldest son. I said, Archie wants to put in bets. And so he's sending you, why is he sending you? Yeah.

And she's like, well, this is kind of our thing. I said, how, since when is it your thing? It's my thing. It's exactly my thing. Like, this is, how dare you rob me of this? Like, I don't know if, why is he, you know, if he wanted to talk The Bachelorette or Star Wars or Prince Harry, I'd be like, yeah, your mother, that's where you want to go to, but we're talking odds. And now you're asking me how to put it in. He's like, well, don't get upset. He just wanted to, it's just our, she kept saying, it's our thing. And I was like, this is no longer your thing. If he's going to be a degenerate, it's gotta be my thing with him. She's like, fine, work it out with him. I'm like, no, no, no, you put it in. So I don't know. I don't know where I am with this. I don't, I don't have a good feeling about it. That honestly feels like a

personal attack. Yeah. I don't even know what the equivalent is. This is our thing. It's literally the number one thing you've cared about since the moment I've met you over anything else. It's your thing. Maybe he felt like you were going to judge his bets or maybe he just wanted to make his bets in peace without your shadow hanging over them. Maybe he thinks you're a mush.

Well, that would make sense. Everything else you said. I would definitely would judge his bets. He ended up losing both anyway. Oh, I'm a mush. Shit, I'm a mush. You're right. You're right.

I got to talk to him about this. I think it's the mush thing. My parent corner, we had my daughter's school has this extravaganza thing where they play the rival school, Brentwood, and all the winter sports things all at the same time. We won a soccer game. We never should have won nothing, so we did our part. Her school carried the cup. It was all exciting. Nice. Her, her boyfriend came over to me and my wife when we were waiting for the game to start and said, Mr. Simmons and shook our hand and, and talked to us for like 45 seconds. And then, um, was super nice and moved on. And I was like, that's how it's done. This isn't hard.

Just, just come over, just be nice, shake our hand, talk to us for a little bit, and then go do your thing. This is like, you know, we're trying to raise young boys, right? There's not that many things we're telling, like I'm telling my son, like when you walk into somebody's house and there's a dad, whether it's like your friend or it's like some girl you're dating or whatever, you walk up to them, you shake their hand and you look them in the eye and talk to them. And that's how you do it. It's amazing how many people don't know how to do this. So I was thinking using parent corner today, just once in for all, I don't know what

the age group of people that listen to this are. Maybe there's some dads. This is like the very few things you have to teach your kids, right? Like wash your sheets every once in a while, especially in college, go wash your sheets like once every three weeks. Don't eat food in your, in your, in your bed. Don't leave plates next to your bed. Always like, that's how you're going to get mice and ants and all that stuff. Don't do that. When you go into somebody's house and there's a dad, go and shake his fucking hand and make eye contact with him and talk to him for 20 seconds. Right. Maybe ask if it's like, if it's cold or wet outside, ask, ask the mom, if you should take your shoes off. Like it's the little things, it's not hard.

It's like these little tiny things that you just have to do if you want to impress people's parents. And there's not that many of them. Even if you're at the dinner like do the fake grab for your pants like you're gonna try to pay for the dinner that no dad is ever gonna let you pay for the dinner but even like pretending you're grabbing for the wallet that now i'm like super impressed i'm like whoa this kid's trying to pay for dinner jesus look at this guy wow i will say meadow soprano's boyfriend tried to pay for dinner and tony

like dressed him down. He freaked out on him. Oh, my God. Physical. I don't know if you remember that. Tony had some rough moments, yeah, with Meadows' boyfriend. He invented some racial slurs nobody had ever heard before. Yeah.

Oh, that was crazy. I saw that too. Yeah. Maybe he's not the right one. But boy, wow. Look at you. You would go great over at Buckingham Palace, I think. Talk about Prince Harry. That's the one thing he has is all these manners.

So you hate what you love. Does he? Would he come in and shake your hand? I don't know. I don't know. We got to find out. I didn't like that. I was expected to shake his hand.

It was alarming. It was alarming. I haven't had a job for 20 years. All right. That's job for 20 years. All right. That's it for Parent Corner. Today's Parent Corner was brought to you by CarMax. If you're in the market for a ride, CarMax lets you shop the way that's best for you. You can do it all online, head to a store to kick the tires or mix it up and do both.

See CarMax.com for details. CarMax. Car buying reimagined. All right. So you have a big, big night tomorrow, right? Big show? Yeah, this is it. Big game, Georgia TCU, Jimmy Kimmel Comedy Club. We have a pregame live show, meet and greet, 2 to 3.30. Get it at TicketmasterVegas.com.

It's brought to you by Crown Royal. And then hang around and watch the game. I can't, I don't know if I could do four nights. I have two more nights here. Remember we could do four nights in Vegas? I did two, and now I have another two, and it's tough. I'm not even subjected to my idiot friend, Harry, who gave everyone weed gummies, and just everyone was plowed. I might go from nine podcasts to two because of this fool giving everybody weed. Everybody calm down with the weed gummies.

It's not like wine. I did a hottest take episode two weeks ago. Nobody seems to care that the weed science is just completely in the 1700s. When they take a gummy, they have no idea how effective it's going to be. And if it's even a little too effective, you're done for the night. You're just a mess. I might be saying might, yeah, I might be saying this wrong, but so like you drink a bottle of wine, you know exactly how much alcohol is in it and you've drank wine before. So, you know, if you have a weed gummy, that's 10 milligrams that Harry gave you. And then have another one that, um, nephew Kyle gave you that 10 milligrams that they could be very different. They can, I look, I don't want to be preachy,

but for God's sakes, when people are being wheeled out in actual wheelchairs, what's going on here? We're in our 30s, 40s, and 50s. Anyway, Harry's in the choir. Yeah. If somebody has like two bottles of wine at dinner

and gets carried out of the restaurant, it's like a huge embarrassment for everybody involved. Exactly. But if somebody gets carried out because they thought they ate a half gummy, but it was a full gummy, then it's like, oh, that was so funny when you ended up in the men's bathroom and you had no pants on and you were standing in the plant. Yeah. That was great. And then you went home and you don't remember anything that happened for 18 hours. Right. But if you did that after two bottles of wine, you'd be like, do we have to have an intervention for that? Right.

Of course. Now it's just, oh, I get a kick out of this. Oh, they're checking Scott's vitals in his room. Oh, that's good. There's a hotel technician. All right. That's normal. Good.

Come see us at Kimmel Comedy Club from 2 to 3.30. You'll see everyone obliterated on weed gummies. I went to a New Year's party where we had great hosts at this one party, and they had a little weed gummy tray, and they had it cut into quarters, halves, and fulls. Okay. And the hostess was like, I have measured these maniacally.

You're in good hands. If you just want a little, I would take a quarter. I'm like, you know what? It's going to be 2023. I'm going to live alone. I'm going to take a quarter. It was great. It was exactly.

And by the way, with a weed gummy, it's always going to kick in. Don't do the whole thing where you're like, oh, it hasn't kicked in yet. Give me one more of these. It will kick in. There's never been a story of the guy who went to Vegas and was like, I took a weed gummy. It never kicked in. It ruined my night. It's the opposite. Just wait. Just give it some time.

Anyway, it was fun, but there was actual science to it, which seems like where we need to go with weed gummies. Exactly. I know we sound like old men here. No, let's bring in Kyle. Do we sound like old men? No, let's bring in Kyle do we sound like old men no it's a dangerous game man it's a dangerous game 10 milligrams

difference it seems like too from brand to brand right it's funny like when we were growing up it was like the don't do drug stuff right cocaine we were all afraid of and they were all remember they were in the 80s when we were children just commercial after commercial of watch cocaine.

This is your brain on crack, all that stuff. It feels like there should be very good natured weed gummy PSAs. It was like, this is Tom. He was out with his buddies from college. He hadn't seen them in a while. And here's Tom walking in the middle of a highway because he doesn't know where he is. Because he took a full gummy instead of a half gummy. He didn't get hit by a car and it was a funny story after but you know also if you notice bob's not wearing pants um half the half my guys are drooling at the blackjack table all right all

right we'll just wheel you back the pit boss is certainly not because you're winning money, but because you look like you're in the walking dead. You're just... Yeah, your friend's defecated all over the rug. But it's hilarious. Oh, yeah, too many gummies. It's so weird. I'm pro-weed gummies. I just feel like we need to regroup.

Anyway. Well, when did they legalize it? Like 12 years ago, right? Yeah, I know. It seems like it was like three weeks ago and prohibition is over. Anyway, all right. I've said enough. I know I'm going to get crap for this. We're not against the weed companies.

It just seems like there should be some... If I have six beers, I have some sense of what's going to happen to me after six beers. Right. Yeah. When we did the hottest take, Fantasy, his counter was that this is what's fun about weed gummies is that you just have no idea what's going to happen. I guess. I don't know.

I mean, would you take that chance with anything else? If I have the second piece of pizza, I'm going to miss the next six meals because I'm just going to die. No. We got to get it right. We got to get the dosage right. I'm sure we'll get some responses. We'll find out more. Maybe Prince Harry. Maybe this will be his

thought in life to figure out dosages for weed gunners. He can finally bring something to the table. All right, Sal. As always, good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Kyle Creighton for producing as always. Thanks to Cousin Sal.

And I will see you on this feed on Tuesday, but you can hear me on the rewatchables on Monday night. Get ready. Me, Chris Ryan, Sean Fenton, doing Sideways Monday night. See you then.