The Bill Simmons Podcast - Cam Thrives, Brady Flounders, Best NFL Overreactions, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: September 14, 2020

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Cowboys' gut-wrenching loss to the Rams, no-fan football, trouble in Tompa Bay, gambling disasters, the Bears' comeback win, Cam Newton's Patriots debut, the savvy Cardinals, and more (1:55), before guessing the NFL lines for Week 2 (54:48). Finally, Bill and Sal close out with another edition of Parent Corner (1:24:50). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Bacardi USA, Coral Gables, Florida. Rum with natural flavors and spices. 35% alcohol by volume. We're also brought to you by TheRinger.com where we are covering football and basketball. Man, we went from no sports at all to all hell is breaking loose. You can read everything there and check out The Ringer Podcast Network. The Ringer NFL Show, which we spruced up. Kevin Clark and Nora Princiati, they taped on Sunday night. We also

have Ryan Shazier and Cole Raitt debuting on Tuesday. And Warren Sharp, who had an excellent podcast with House on Friday, he's with Chris Vernon on Wednesdays. And then Joe House on Friday is breaking down all the gambling analytics angles. And don't forget about our excellent Ringer Fantasy Football show as well for all the fantasy angles. Coming up, Cousin Sal and I are going to talk about a semi-wild week one. I got to say, I'm going to give it semi-wild. Not completely wild, but semi-wild.

Then we're going to do a little Guest Alliance and some Parent Corner, maybe even a little basketball too. That's all coming up. First, our friends from Pearl Jam. All right, taping this 8.30 Pacific time, Sunday night. You know, they say 2020 is the craziest year ever. It keeps you on your toes. God only knows what's going to happen next, and yet here we are doing Guest Alliance on the first Sunday night

of the season. The Patriots are 1-0 and the Cowboys are just coming off a crushing Sunday night loss. What year is this? I know. Nothing changed. Your team is good again and mine sucks. I said for the last three hours i was like wow this is exactly the same team i hate it so much why is this and we brought

in mike mccarthy and i guess i expected too much like here's a guy who i don't know it's like uh it's like hiring a plumber who's won all these awards and then you know he does the job and then you you go to the bathroom and there's still shit hitting the ceiling after you're done like i don't get it i don't get what's going on here it's the same team i kept waiting and somewhere in the fourth quarter for him to rip off his uh mike mccarthy mask and it was gonna be the clapper jason garrity's back he'd never gone anywhere they'd never been fired it was all a big ruse. It's so bad. The play calling is so bad. I think we threw downfield three times.

It looks like Dak is content making $31 million. So good for him because I don't know. You got these burners. Obviously, the offensive line didn't really hold up. Donald was a constant nag. But I don't know. Throw underneath to Zeke. The linebackers aren't that good.

I just had a hard time with the whole thing. The whole package. I hated it from start to finish. And it actually felt like they were going to steal the game because all of a sudden it was Dallas 14, Rams 13. You're like, wait a second. I watched this whole first half. The Rams were playing better.

How is Dallas leading? Oh, that's a really good sign for a team that's going places when they can all of a sudden pull out games. And then they didn't pull it out. Yeah. Now 14-13 at half. Yeah, they didn't deserve to be winning. The Rams missed a field goal.

You sound so crestfallen. I really thought like after the crazy day we had, I was so excited. I just couldn't hear your team have won, so we could have had this happy euphoric Sunday night. Now it's like a therapy session again. The worst case scenario is Cowboys lose, Patriots win, Tampa wins, but I don't even think you care about that,

so I won't get to that later. I cared financially because I was stupidly bet on them. Today was a lot of gambling up and downs, but the big surprise was Dallas that everybody had penciled in to be the juggernaut of the NFC. I really like the Rams. I bet on the Rams this weekend to win the NFC at 15-1. Did you really?

I thought it was the best odds of anyone that I saw because I just think the NFC is wide open. The thought was they just have a bunch of blue chippers, new stadium, shook up the coaching staff a little bit, better running game,

all that stuff. But, you know, they're going to look good early in the season because everyone's healthy. They have no depth. They lose three guys the team could crater by November. But right now, they look pretty good. And that new stadium, Collins words with that news, this new stadium is the greatest. You people, when you get to see it in 2029,

you're going to lose your mind. But when human beings are allowed to gather again this decade, Al, you're right. I bet the Cowboys to have the best record in the NFC. And yeah, that was that's your fault, though. That's a kiss of death. And I bet the Jags to have the worst record

in all of football. And I think you might have jumped on that as well. I did. Right? Yeah. So, again, I'm all over the place with this football. I'm glad it's back. I have some issues with it, but I can't complain too much, except that my team sucks like they always did.

Well, let's go big picture for a second. Yeah. No fans for any of these games except the Jacksonville game. Mm-hmm. Did you notice? Did it bother you at all? I have a whole theory on this, but I wanted your take first. I don't think it will.

I watched college yesterday, and there's a noticeable difference in college without the fans, for sure. I think I would be okay with throws not having fans if whoever was working the button for the crowd noise was somewhat competent at all. It's really, really distracting to hear they're way off. CBS games seemed way, way off. Tonight's game seemed way off. Don't they know they should listen to a game? It's like listening to... Do you ever go on YouTube and watch a fight

from the 1940s and the crowd is just... It's like the same all the way through. Yeah, yeah. It's all throughout. There are swells. It's like there are swells. It's like the crowd picks up when the quarterback walks to the line of scrimmage. It's not constant for when they're in the huddle. It's like there were a few times where there was like incomplete passes and the crowd was like still buzzing.

I'm like, oh, I'm looking for a flag. I'm like, there must be a pass interference flag or something or grounding or something. So that was distracting. I wonder if the lack of crowd would bug me if they got that right. I think they'll get better at it because in the NBA, it was the same thing.

It was super choppy. And then eventually they got better at it. The one time I noticed the fake crowd actually working really well was some call when it gets to Saints and they just piped in these boos. And it was like this optical. It was like, wait a second.

Oh no, there's not fans there. It was the one time the guy actually nailed it. They did it right. But otherwise, they need to figure it out. I mean, it's like a conductor screwing up the whole three hours. Like the cellos, you can't even hear the tubas because the cellos are... I don't know. It was a mess for me.

So my theory on this, I feel like this is where football has been headed for a while. We've been losing home field advantage. The fans have become less relevant each decade. When you watch the games, unless they cut to the crowd, when it's just a wide shot of the actual field, you don't see the fans. It's not like

in hockey or tennis or baseball where you're just painfully aware the whole time the fans are there. It's actually more like basketball in a lot of ways where you're just kind of concentrating on the field itself. And then you think like, I think the biggest thing that's changed with football this century is people really like being home, watching all the games at once. They like having fantasy. They like having the gambling. They like having red zone, multiple games. If you have two or more TVs, whatever your setup is, it's just more fun to be at home.

And this is the final lap of this. This is the marathon we were always headed toward, football with no fans. Interesting. And I didn't really think it affected the game that much. Yeah, maybe in the dome, like

Tom Brady, third and 13, the crowd's going to be super loud he might have to waste the time out but other than that I thought it felt like football I think we talked about this and I think the less the ball leaves the surface the better off you are so like baseball you're going to see long

foul balls and home runs and then you can't you can't avoid seeing an empty crowd that way football you'll see it on punts and maybe some bombs or something like Hail Marys or something. But yeah, for the most part, you're right. You're kind of looking over the horizon and all these games, hockey, basketball, football, and it's not so much a problem. But yeah, they definitely have to get that noise thing straight. I had an issue with the tennis, the US Open. You did? Why? I just couldn't. I couldn't do it. It was too weird. Without the fans, huh?

Yeah, without the fans. Tennis without fans, it was like pro wrestling for me before they piped in the fake noise, but you can't pipe in fake noise with tennis. Really? This is the one sport between golf and tennis, the one sport everyone's told to shut up the whole time. I know, but then when something happens,

you get the feedback from the crowd noise, good and bad, or the crowd urging, and you're trying to decide which side is. And it was just kind of eerie. You hear a couple of the players make more noise when they hit it, like Azarenka. Other people don't make any noise at all. They're just silent. I thought it was, it threw me off. It seemed sad.

I was constantly reminded that we're in a pandemic as I watched it. I know you watched more tennis than I did because you had a whole bunch of wagers. I was constantly reminded that we're in a pandemic as I watched it. I know you watched more tennis than I did because you had a whole bunch of wagers. I did. I had Osaka yesterday and I didn't dare touch it today because there was just too much football going on. But yeah, I don't know. As long as the grunts are consistent from the players and the

announcers comment right afterwards, I feel like it's okay. So what do you think works the best? Because I think basketball works the best, but I actually think the NFL, once they figure this out, will be second best because you're the least aware of the no fans, I would say, in basketball and then football. Well, they'll have to work it out

because I thought they were way off. But I mean, we're not counting MMA or anything like that because I think MMA is the best. They darken the background and everything. Yeah, good point. MMA, it's actually in some ways accentuated how cool it is. Yeah, right. You're getting better sound effects, stuff like that.

We're going to do Defender of Reactions in a second. Can we talk about the gambling weekend first? Please. That's why I'm here. There were some devastating losses, including the Lions. Oh, yeah. I had straight up.

I also had an Arfando mega contest. They're up 17 in the fourth quarter against Trubisky. I'd been monitoring it on one of the TVs. I was like, that's out. I just can't. There's other stuff going on. I was like, oh, well, that game's done. And then somehow they blow it.

But then they're driving down for the, for the go ahead game winning touchdown at the end and Swift drops, literally drops the wind. You rarely see in football, the guy drops the victory, but he dropped the victory. If he catches it in his chest and falls backwards, he's in, but he turned up field for some reason, as if he had 30 more yards to go and two more tackles to break. He really, I thought he was afraid of getting hit or something like, yeah, I don't know what he was doing.

All I had to do was like you said, catch it, fall backwards. Yeah. His feet were in bounds. It wasn't about field awareness or anything, but yeah, either he thought he was getting hit or,

or something, but yeah, Georgia to Georgia, like Stafford. I felt bad for Stafford there. I felt good. Cause he came through. Yeah, either he thought he was getting hit or something. But yeah, Georgia to Georgia. Like Stafford, I felt bad for Stafford there. I felt good for Mitch. Because he came through. Yeah, he did. He didn't blow that game.

But the Lions did. And yeah, as bad as I feel, Detroit fans must be miserable. Same old Lions. Detroit was basically two and a half, so they would have covered. That had the makings during the comeback of a Loser Leaves Town match, even though it was week one. What was the stat that Sharps I saw it a couple times. It was only four teams. Yeah, yeah. Four teams

out of, I think, 996? Yeah. Was the stat? Four teams since 2006. I know it was like 14 years. Oh, no, I'm sorry. 99.6%. The teams had been 779 and 3, according

to Warren Sharpe, since 2006, with a 17-point lead or more, entering the fourth quarter. Honestly, they should have shown that heading into the fourth quarter, because at least I would have had my guard up at that point. Why are they showing this?

That was terrible. The other one. Well, part of you likes that because Matt Patricia blew it and you love all the Patriots and Patriots fans love making it like he's a terrible coach and maybe he is, but that just kind of something like that solidifies it. Right. Well, I was excited. I thought that was going to be the wide open division, but then you watch all these games. Minnesota is definitely something's wrong with them, but Green Bay looked pretty good.

So if you're coming out of week one, you're like, oh, Green Bay. Green Bay could have scored 60 points. They had a bunch of drop passes. I don't know what Rodgers ended up. It was 32 for 44 for 364. They've beat them four straight now. And yeah, everyone was so excited about Minnesota's new defensive pieces coming in. Like, they haven't played together.

They haven't gelled. They don't know what's up with Aaron Rodgers in that offense. But they look fine. Rodgers looked crisp. Yeah, he really did. There don't know what's up with Aaron Rodgers in that offense. Rodgers looked crisp. Yeah, he really did. There's a little fuck you edge to Rodgers. We never let him back in. Everybody and their brother had the Colts in a tease, in a parlay.

And I knew this. I knew this when I did Million Dollar Picks last week. I knew it when I made my picks this week. But we like to go hard on things that we think are going to happen week one, week two. And one of the things I felt really strongly about were the Jaguars were going to be the worst team in the league.

And then you watch them and they're hanging around and the Colts grew up. The Colts were going up 14-0 and then all of a sudden the Jags had the ball again. It was still 7-0. It was one of those games where you're like, wait a second. I thought, why are the Jags still hanging around? And then you watch and they the Jags had the ball again. It was still seven. Nothing was one of those games. You're like, wait a second. I thought,

wait, why are the Jags still hanging around? And then you watch and they have a bunch of young guys. You could feel the, nobody believes in us developing and rivers is dink and dunk, dink and dunk, dink and duck. The one times,

anytime he does go deep, Hilton drops it, Campbell drops it. And you could feel it. You're like, Oh, Oh, it's going to be one of these games.

Jags take it late. Colts come back down rivers. Here's what I want to say to you about this. So I left last season thinking that Phil rivers was washed up. Yeah. What happened? That was my, yeah, that was my,

I had that not written in pencil, written in pen. Phil rivers is washed up signs with the Colts for $25 million. Spend the offseason. There's a pandemic. A million years passed since the last season. And somehow I forgot that Phil Rivers was washed up, and I watched that game.

My takeaway is Phil Rivers is who he was last year, and why did we think the Colts were going to win this division? This is so good for Tennessee. Well, maybe you thought they'd win the division. I don't know. I don't know. That division is such a mess anyway in my mind. But I think this is more of the dealers holding a six here.

We need to stay. It wasn't so much betting the Colts. It was the Jaguars' fire sale. And like you said, this is a no one believes in us. I think it's more like no one believes we're even fielding a team kind of thing because they sold off all their parts. You did not expect Gardner Minshew to go 19 for 20, and then he's completing passes like to that receiver, Chenault,

and it's just all of a sudden they're in the game. But I was talking to Jeff Schwartz about this, and he's like, just be careful of this one. This could be 100 degrees, Jacksonville, you know, some fans laying around. There's fans coughing on the Colts. Yeah, the September game that maybe they get up for once and then they go away for a while. So, yeah, we got burned for sure.

Tough one with the Colts. Well, here's something I'll cheer you up. Your book is available for pre-order on Amazon tomorrow. Right. That's right. Give us the 30 seconds on the book. Well, I have a story from it in Parent Corner. I was urged to tell it.

All right. We'll save it for Parent Corner. We should mention, pre-order Sal's book starting tomorrow on Amazon. It's not available until when? It's not until February, around Super Bowl time it's going to come out. But it's called You Can't Lose Them All, in which I'm thinking of changing the title because after this week,

I'm thinking maybe you can lose them all. You can. You possibly can lose them all. It's possible to lose them all. Maybe we'll change that. That's the sequel. It turns out it's very possibly you can lose them all. You've heard a bunch.

You've heard a couple of stories from it. And Bill's in there and all of our adventures gambling, not just sports gambling, blackjack, all that stuff growing up. And yeah, it's good. You convinced me to do it. And I did it. So Amazon.com. You almost lost one of your eternal organs during the process.

Exactly. All right. We're going to play a game called Defend Your Overreactions, but we're taking a break first. Let's take a break to talk about Miller Lite. They had an idea on how to bring the game to everyone this weekend. Get this. They actually trolled fans looking for illegal streams to watch Sunday night's game by

creating a bunch of streaming lookalike sites that fooled people who were looking on some illegal streaming site to watch the game. To make them think they were watching the actual game, it turned out to be an insane ad for something called the Miller Lite Cantena, a real can of Miller Lite with a digital TV antenna

so people can watch football with their friends. Miller Lite, trying to bring fans together in a new way. It's an easy-to-use digital TV antenna that does more than bring fans to game. It creates more time for Miller Time. So there you go. The Miller Lite Cantena. Check it out if you want to try one of these for yourself and have a little Miller time for yourself. Go to MillerLiteCantena.com to enter for your chance to watch high-definition football and a beer. No purchase necessary. It already started. It ends on October 12, 2020 at basically one second before midnight CT. You must be a legal resident of the 50 US, DC,

all those places in America. 21 years of age or older, cantinas are only available to residents of Colorado, DC, Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, North Carolina, South Carolina, South Dakota, and Wisconsin. Voidware prohibited.

See official rules at MillerLakeCantena.com for entry instructions, prizes, restrictions, etc. Back to the pod. We love overreacting after week one and week two, and we don't really know anything yet. You said you actually wanted to do your three favorite overreactions. I thought we could call this segment, Defend Your Overreactions.

So you have the overreaction, but now you're going to defend the overreactions. I thought we could call this segment Defend Your Overreactions. I like it. So you have the overreaction, but now you're going to defend the overreaction. You go first. Can we defend it? Can you call pass interference if we defend it improperly or something? I'm sorry.

I'm still not over the Rams pass interference call. Can we agree the Rams own pass interference? Whatever you think is going to be pass interference, the Rams have a different say in it, whether it's against the Saints or the Cowboys. Are you talking about the Michael Gallup push-off? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that. There's no push-off.

There was nothing. He freed up his arm. He beat him downfield. He freed up his arm. I thought for the last 10 years, Gronk was the only player in the league who got called on the borderline push-off, but not really push-off.

Yeah. But Ramsey sold it. It's terrible. I was with Collinsworth. He definitely like, he knew he was beat and he did like the exaggerated, like Kyle Lowry kind of semi flop, which was really smart. I won them the game. He threw a fit. You see what happened there, guys? I'm complaining about referee calls and Simmons had to bring up Kyle Lowry, even though his

team advanced. But yeah, it's something like that. We're going to defend our overreactions. Your overreaction. Overreaction number one from you is? Okay. Tampa and Tampa are in trouble. I don't think they make the playoffs. I didn't think they made the playoffs before this week.

And it was because of the very thing I saw. It's nice to surround Tampa with all these great shiny toys. Gronk came back. All right. I don't know. He had three touchdowns in 2018. We're supposed to get excited about that. Mike Evans, Godwin. You got OJ Howard. Beautiful. More than he's ever had. But you know what else he has? An undisciplined team. They had 133 penalties last year. You saw it, Bill. Fourth and two. Saints have the ball close to midfield.

Tampa Bay jumps off sides. That's nothing Tom Brady could help. That's an undisciplined Bruce Arians team. That's going to happen a lot. He had second and eight. They jumped a false start. Now Tom has second and 13. Same kind of thing. And guess what? He's not playing those Mickey Mouse defenses. He's not going to get that. This is very important. That last minute touchdown or field goal before the half. That's not a guarantee anymore in the Patriots and in Tom Brady's repertoire. I think it's going to be in trouble. Now they may have faced one of the better teams in the NFC, so you can't really count everything, put everything on this game. But I think Tampa is going to struggle to get to nine and seven. Aikman, your guy, your Fox colleague.

He, he actually like actually injured. There it is. Yeah. Your former Cowboys superstar. He actually almost injured himself one at one point making so many excuses for Brady. Yeah. Right. I actually thought he was going to get hurt.

He was throwing his own body in front of Tom Brady's apocalyptic afternoon. Look, they were super sloppy. They were super sloppy last year. And it was basically the same type of game they played last year when everybody blamed Jameis Winston for it. You could have digitally inserted Jameis Winston into this game in Brady's place. And you would have thought you were watching a 2019 Bucks game. Right. And Breeze let him in it, too. He had a whole quarter. They only had six yards, I think, offensively in the third quarter.

But they couldn't get it done, Tampa. Yeah, I think there's a little something there. Everyone, talk about penciled them in. Everyone has them in the NFC Championship game. It's a long road for them. Well, Aikman was saying this. He was like, Joe, I really think we could see these teams playing again in the NFC championship game.

Yeah, you have to say that. He said that seriously in the fourth quarter. I was thinking, like, is Bruce Arians going to get fired after five weeks? Like, this is the most half-assed fuck-up of a performance. So there were two ways to go with Tampa. Because just saying they're going to 9-7 or 10-6 barely make it was boring. I decided to go. I couldn't figure out who was going to make it out of the NFC.

And I just decided either New Orleans or Tampa is going to be the one seed. I'm picking Tampa for the one seed. instead of picking them to miss the playoffs. It was neither or thing. Let me ask you this. What bothers you most about watching? What hits you hardest? Like, oh man, that's what I miss. I think I know what it is.

Tom, his hair getting fuller each season. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know how he does it. I was looking up pictures of Michael Landon in Little House on the Prairie in the late 70s doing a compare and contrast with a couple people on a text thread.

No, I missed when... I didn't know you were going to go the romantic angle with me. I thought maybe something on field. But what... Yeah. When he scored on the QB sneak on the first drive, and i knew he was

gonna clear out so he could do the over-exaggerated spike it was good i watched with my son and and nephew kyle yeah and i bet on tampa so i could root for tom i don't even know if it was the right bet i just i didn't want to root against are you gonna do that every year i thought like when he completes a pass to sc Miller, that's what gets you. Scotty Miller went six for 73. It's like, oh, he's going to make this guy good. And you're definitely bidding $30, $35

on Scott Miller in the waiver wire this week. Well, I think OJ Howard was the guy who's going to be his project. That's true. Yeah. But it was so funny. They were like, he loves Scotty Miller miller he loves like of course he does he looks like amandola and welker had a baby and they had scotty miller uh my number one overreaction is is tied off your overreaction okay i think brady's washed i think it's over

same thing interesting so all all the stuff that happened last year that he got defended for because didn't have the receivers, didn't have any skill position guys. This is what we saw over and over again watching. This is my fear. Like if you're going to make the case that Tom Brady was on the other side of the mountain

and it was never getting better again, other than his age and the fact that only eight guys, eight games ever in the history of the NFL have been started by a 43 year old quarterback. He does not want to get hit anymore. A B when there's chaos around him, that's when he looks like he's 43. When you have to like ad lib, like, oh, I didn't realize that guy was over. I'm going to turn away and move, you know, all this stuff. Think how many times Kyler Murray

pulled a play out of his ass in that Niners game. He was incredible. Now, I'm not saying Brady could do that at any point in his life, but Brady had this supernatural ability of like pressure's coming here. I'm going to move two steps to the right. I'm going to buy myself a split second.

From what I've seen, I don't think he can do it anymore. And I don't think the accuracy is there as much either. And this is why this segment's called Defend Your Overreactions. From what I saw in this game, nothing changed from the last two months

to last year. When I saw somebody who couldn't move around anymore, who got rid of the ball way too soon, who doesn't really want to be hit anymore. And I think teams know how to play him. They're very predictable. It's like, he's going to do a short pass. He's going to come back. You never have to worry about him running. And I thought the Saints by the third quarter had completely figured them out. And that's what I'd be alarmed by if I was the Bucs. I think you're right. And the other thing is, this is going to

sound crazy. Patriots fans will be mad saying this. I think he was spoiled. I think he was spoiled in New York in game scenarios, like not necessarily that he had the best receivers or the best tight ends last year. We know that's not true. But as I mentioned, there are must score possessions now on his docket where you didn't have that with New England. He has to drive the field. And again, maybe this is a little bit of an overreaction because they went against New Orleans, one of the top three teams in the NFC.

But I think because they're so undisciplined, this team, he's going to have to do more on specific possessions more than he did last year. Well, think about that. That whole sequence summed it up when they got the face mask on the touchdown. The guy was going to score anyway, they kicked right.

New Orleans kicks off from midfield, kicks it, bloops it in the air. And the two bucks basically run into each other. Never happened. Yeah. That, that didn't,

that doesn't happen to the bill Belichick special team. So listen, he's 43 years old. It's going to end at some point. The fear for me with him is no matter, you can give him the best receivers on the planet, but if you can pressure him like that and he can't react the way he used to,

it's going to be a long season. Now, do you keep betting him every week? I'm not betting him again. Oh, you're done for a little. No, I didn't like what I saw today.

I really didn't. I think that had weight. They were like, oh man, he's got to get on the same page with the receivers. It's like, this had nothing to do with the receivers. He couldn't handle the pressure.

I wish I could make a separate bet that you will have him on a teaser this week, but we'll talk about that in a second. All right. Defend your next overreaction. Okay. Mitch Trubisky's good. He's good again. He is.

I didn't want to say it. You know what? I said uh i even tweeted early on i'm like when they were down 13-3 or whatever i was like all right everyone enjoy mitch trubisky's last possession as a starter and then in the fourth quarter three touchdowns 26 yards he's in sync with his receivers he's got 14 tight ends that he throws to he's really not bad he's their their answer. If they lose a game, I don't think it'll be his fault. And you know,

defensively, they weren't great. They didn't have like Robert Quinn in there. Kalil Mack was still getting double team. That that's going to like, that's going to change as the weeks roll on. I think he's going to get better. I don't think Nick Foles sniffs the field.

You've always been a Trubisky truther. This is a good overreaction. I like this one. So the case against this overreaction would be the field. You've always been a Trubisky truther. This is a good overreaction. I like this one. So the case against this overreaction would be the Lions, one of the worst defenses in the league, no pass rush. And then the guy, they took number three. What's his name? The cornerback?

The Ohio State kid. He didn't play. No, he didn't play. And Darius Slay is gone. I get all that. So, so you could say like, Mitch has never had it better. It's so funny though. So my son watched with us all day today. This is going to be on Parent Corner.

Right. And he has Allen Robinson on his fantasy team and he was getting just madder and madder at Trubisky. And Kyle, I even put one of the videos on Instagram. Kyle and I were dying because he just never experienced like when Trubisky goes sideways. He's like, this guy sucks.

Why can't they put in the next guy? And then all of a sudden, Trubisky got hot. It's easy when they're just names and stats. Then when you have to watch them play, it's a different story. I think an even better overreaction than Mitch's good would have been, in the long run, the Bears got the red guy. That would have been over Watson-Moham. I don't even know Bears got the right guy. That would have been over Watson-Moham. I don't even know they got the right guy.

Not signing Cam Newton might not have been the right guy. That's funny. That brings me to my second defend my overreaction. Go ahead. I've seen enough. Our Lord and Savior, Cam Newton. My favorite New England Patriot in at least nine months.

Kyle's favorite New England Patriot in a long time. My son's favorite Patriot probably ever. He's been... Everything is advertised. I loved rooting for him. They completely changed their offense. It was like a pseudo-Madden offense. If you're playing Madden against somebody,

you're just like every third and six, I'm just going to scramble with my good QB. Right. I loved when he got into it with the dolphins at the end and was so pissed off because they grabbed this chain. I loved how he dressed in the post game. He's so cool. You could tell his, his teammates just love him.

And here comes the overreaction. We have cap space. They, even though they redid Gilmore's deal, they still have like 25, 26 million in cap space. I've seen enough. I'm buying the house. Really? Four years, 115 million. Cam Newton, lock it down. Stack the money for this year. Stretch it out. Let's lock this dude down. Let's make him the Patriots quarterback. We're all in on this guy. We all love him. Everybody loves him. All right. You can love him all you want quarterback. We're all in on this guy. We all love him. Everybody loves him. All right.

You can love him all you want, but you're supposed to beat that team by seven. If Fitzmagic had anything in the tank today, you would have won by three. Or if they call that pass interference in the end zone towards the end, like they should have. But... Well, hold on. I'm flipping that on you.

Go ahead. Because Nikhil Harry, who... Not a strong game for Nikhil. Yeah, none of this game. But he's reaching, basically he's about to score a touchdown and fumbles it out of bounds. We were going to win by 30 if that didn't happen. Great call. Great rule. Great call. Love it.

The dumbest rule in football. But we were, that was going to be a blowout if that didn't happen. You think a blowout? Yeah. I kept waiting for the Dolphins just to strike gold once with Devante Parker. I wasn't nervous. We have Cam Newton now.

All right. We have a quarterback who's actually in his early 30s. Okay. You're playing a real team next week. My overreaction, lock him up. Four years. Four years, $115 million. Holy crap.

Let's do it. Why did Belichick- Huge signing bonus. Why did Belichick- Now, the talk is that Belichick doesn't praise anybody. He praised Cam, I don't know, Saturday. Is it because he felt he needed it? Everyone's

like, oh, he's savvy. He knows what he's doing here. Why was he doing it? This is typical people who don't like Belichick. But he never does it, though. He never does it. He praises a lot of people. He does? He likes charisma and work ethic. That's what he cares about. He praises a lot of people. He does? He likes charisma and work ethic. That's what he cares about.

He praises a turkey sandwich on Subway. That's the only thing I've ever heard him praise in anything. Sal, if God forbid you ever got divorced. Sure. And your next girlfriend was in there. New girl. First person you've dated in 25 years. And she did a couple nice things.

Do I know something that our wives are talking or something? Okay. No, no, no. I'm saying your first wife is the Tom Brady of this scenario. She's out. Yeah. Now you have the Cam Newton girlfriend. You're going to praise her a couple of times.

It's just nice to have some new blood. Yeah. Where you're like, hey, I'm going to watch football. She's like, that's great. I'm going to go out with my friends and come back and maybe we could catch up later. And it just, and you're just like,

wow, you've been everything that you've been advertised. What a great work ethic you have. That's. I guess I look at Belichick as the salty father-in-law who just like sits on the couch and mumbles and doesn't have to praise anybody. But the father, the sign him up,

Kyle, Kyle. Yeah. Kyle, you with me? Four years, 150 million for camp. You don't have to agree to that. Kyle. Kyle? Yeah. Kyle, you with me? Four years, $150 million for Cam? You don't have to agree to that. Absolutely. All right.

See, Kyle agrees. All the Patriots fans know. Sign this guy. All right. What's your next overreaction? Arizona is going to the NFC Championship game. I love that team. I love what they did.

When they got down early, when Mostert scored that long touchdown, it was like 10-0. Any other coach, Kingsbury, anyone would have been like, all right, the air is terrible here. Let's get out of here. We're not supposed to win this game anyway. But no, that defense held strong. I don't know how they did it.

Kyla Murray looked like he could run for a first down every other play. Every other play, it looked like he can get loose and create space and run for 10 or 15 yards. And then you got Hopkins. They were trying to cover him. After 14 receptions, you'd think they would try harder to cover him. And no, and it leaves Christian Kirk open. That offense is dynamite.

I don't even think it matters if Drake is doing well. And the defense stepped up too. They're really, really good. I don't even think it matters if Drake is doing well. And the defense stepped up too. They're really, really good. I don't mind them at all. In our keeper league, I have Kyler Murray and Hopkins. And it was just a pure delight. I didn't know if I would be able to replace the joy that Lamar brought me last year, but I found it.

I found that holy grail again with Kyler Murray and Hopkins. The thing with Kyler that and Hopkins. The thing with Kyler that only Vic is the only other guy that I can remember like this. Yeah, he's going to get 1,000 yards rushing, I think. I really do. These guys who just, they go back to pass and just effortlessly

as a second option, run for 11 yards. It's like, oh, those two guys aren't up and I'm just going to get the first down myself. And he was creating. It wasn't just like, oh, the whole left side of the field's open. There were a couple plays where he's like, I'm

just going to run through six guys. I thought he was a little short. He was 26 for 40. Some of the throws are always going to be a little short with him, but the defense stepped up too. I mean, that's not... Niners, allers all right they were out of sync but uh and i know everyone hates the niners now and i think you even texted yesterday i was like why is everyone like the niners for the nfc west i just yeah the shanahan quarterbacks in the second year are usually better

maybe we shouldn't kill the niners just yet but buda baker had 10 tackles that defense really held some of their stars to nothing. And that run game, which is just mesmerizing to some teams, couldn't get it going. Well, Kittle got hurt. Yeah. He came back late, but Samuel was out. And it just didn't seem like they had anybody who could get open.

And when you think about it, most are to have that long touchdown. They're up 17, seven. A couple of years ago, the game's over. I never gave up because I thought Arizona was going toe-to-toe with them. The Mostert touchdown

was a mistake. Right. But other than that, they were toe-to-toe. And I thought the right team won. I don't feel like that game was an upset.

I felt the same way about Washington-Philly. They're going to be good. outplayed Philly. Like, as that game went on, they just got stronger and stronger and their defense took over the game. Yeah. My overreaction is going to play good. But now Washington outplayed Philly. As that game went on, they just got stronger and stronger and their defense took over the game.

My overreaction is going to play off your overreaction. The NFC West is going to have four playoff teams. Wow. It's never happened before because it's actually been impossible. But now we have seven playoff spots. Right. I have all four in the playoffs. That's my overreaction.

It could, if you like Arizona, like the Rams were the only team with a winning record last year that didn't make the playoffs. And like you said, that happens this year, they're in. And I don't know what to take from tonight's game,

but they're a decent team again, at least. Seattle's the one that I don't know if we overreact to, because Russ, I feel bad, but he was at the top five storylines. He had an unbelievable game. He had four touchdowns and three incomplete passes and destroyed them.

And yet that Falcons defense might just be miserable, like might be worldly, miserable, otherworldly. So but yeah, I don't think that's a stretch. All four. I wish we could bet that all four make the playoffs. Here's what would have to happen. Everybody would have to basically split with each other. And then everyone goes nine and five.

Nine and five split with... Oh, I'm sorry. No. You played three teams. So ten... Hold on. I'm going to figure... Stay with me. I'm going to figure this out. They have to go seven and three. They have ten games after. Right. Yeah. Seven and three. And then three and three in their division. Yeah.

They could do it. Can you believe I got a 13-40 out of my SATs? No, I don't. That's 10-6, but it could be a 9-7. That makes it. I think that would be one of them. So who are you counting out? Tampa or New Orleans? Well, think about it. From what we saw from Tampa today,

maybe 9. You don't have to convince me. Then you go in the NFC North, we had one team penciled in there. Right. And then the NFC East. I really like the Washington team. Let's take a break and then talk about them quickly. finding treatment that works can be complicated. You need skincare that actually performs, but getting started can be overwhelming. Thankfully, there's a solution. Roman makes it convenient to get customized prescription skincare that really performs. Grab your phone or computer, complete a free online consultation. You'll hear back from a US licensed physician

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Do you think people, how seriously do you think people would take defend my overreactions? Do you think they'll think we were 100% serious with that or no? I was. So I hope they do because I was 100% serious about all of them.

Let me ask you this before we get going. I was curious to know what your screen alignment was today. Did you have Patriots? Good question. You have four. You have an iPad too. But I would say Clippers on three screens and Patriots on one.

Didn't have the Clippers. No way. You've been so proud of me. No way. I deliberately ignored the Clippers. I taped it. I'm going to watch it late tonight. I'm just out.

I just wanted to throw myself into football. I also thought they would win. And they were up 17. That was a great decision. Then all of a sudden the Nuggets were winning. Yeah, they did the same thing Friday. It's craziness. Alright, I don't want to talk about it. I just wanted to say. We had Pat's Dolphins on the big TV. We had Red Zone. And then we had...

I only have the three. One of the receivers is shot. By the way, this was another thing that happened. We have Spectrum. All of a sudden the red zone channel i'm not subscribed i find out on this at 9 30 in the morning so now it's called spectrum on the phone with them for 40 minutes because god forbid they ever answered quickly right and then uh finally get through and they're like oh yeah you have to order it this year it's like oh that would have been nice for maybe maybe have a marketing campaign or something.

So they're making people pay for the red zone separately from everything else. It's just $5 a month, I think. Yeah, this is a year to rip everybody off, right? This is a way to do it. But no campaign, nothing? They're not heads up? I have to find this out on the Sunday of the first weekend? Yeah, I'm going to find out the hard the Sunday of the, uh, first weekend. Find out the hard way.

So Washington, the professional football team, their D got momentum as that game went. I had, I listen, I didn't have a great gambling week, but I had a million dollar picks. I'm doing my long shot parlay of the week.

And I had Washington and Arizona. Right. And it was like 12 to one odds, something like that. And I also bet it. It was my one saving grace of the weekend. Washington, Arizona hitting together. I really felt like they had a chance.

What I wasn't prepared for was they actually have some decent skills guys now. Gibson is pretty good, the rookie. McLaurin we knew was good from last year. And Haskins, this is what Warren sharp was predicting on the, uh, on the podcast with us on Friday that for a whole off season to actually have the right offense for him to run that's tailored to him. I don't know.

They're pretty frisky. I could actually see them getting second place in the NFC is crazy in the NFC is as crazy as that. I considered that as one of my overreactions. And then I'm like, you know, Lane Johnson was out. Miles Sanders was out. The Eagles were not whole. They got off to a big lead. The one thing I didn't count on is Haskins had a crazy halftime revitalizing speech.

And I think that's good. I mean, you know, part of it is self-preservation. It's like, hey, how many more starts are they going to look at and watch me? You know, got Alex Smith waiting in the wings wings that's a nice story if it happens how many more starts am i going to have like subpar numbers um and then the coach ron rivero we like had like a planned like iv right like before his cancer was unbelievable what happened had to happen at halftime for them to come back and win but um fun but But as soon as I was rooting for them, I'm like,

oh, I know what's going to happen here. I'm rooting for Washington because the Eagles are the division rival of my Cowboys. The Cowboys are going to lose, and then the Giants are going to win Monday. And the Giants and Washington are going to be up top, and actually East alone. Well, you think about it. If you're looking at the nobody believes in us recipe for, like,

the team that ends up 10 and six, we have no idea how it happened. Arizona, a lot of people was picking as a sleeper. Right. I mean, people were on that one all over the place. Nobody was on Washington. No. You think new coach Ron Rivera battling cancer.

Right. You have this whole hullabaloo. They changed the team's name. They have just a deplorable scandal. you have this whole hullabaloo. They changed the team's name. They have just a deplorable scandal all the way through their organization that doesn't even seem like it's over yet. They have probably the least likable owner in the league, which is really saying something in this day and age.

And you have all this stuff overshadowing everything. But you can also see like two months from now, you know, the Aaron Andrews story on Fox in the pregame show. Sure. Talking and like Alex Smith and the inspiration of him and Rivera and, you know, and multiple guys going,

yeah, you know, nobody thought we'd be here. Nobody thought, everyone thought we were going to be one of the worst teams in the league. Yeah. It does have the potential to be a feel-good story. The only part that's not feel-good is that Daniel Steiner owns the team. That part doesn't make me feel good.

Everything else makes me feel good. I looked at the end zone. Did you see all the writing in the end zone? Because they have Washington football. You never saw a more crowded end zone with text. And I have the trademark. The end zone writing went to the seven-yard line, I think. It's a bizarre year all around.

And yeah, with an election coming up, it would make sense that Washington, the perennial doormat, is right there in the mix come January. Well, Chase Young was a beast in that game. Yeah. And that was one of the things that jumped out to me today were the rookies. Even your guy. Your rookie is the best receiver you have. Really good.

CeeDee Lamb, they were going to him over and over again in big spots. So fast. Ruggs was great. A lot of the rookie running backs I thought were really good. I thought Burrow, he made one really, really dumb play when he did that shuffle pass. Yeah, he shuffled it right into Ingram's bread basket there. But other than that, at the tail end of that game,

he drove them down and he threw the game when he touchdowned AJ Green. They called AJ Green for a push-off that I really was surprised they called. I guess they're calling these this year. I don't know if they'll be consistent with it. But yeah, AJ Green kind of blew it for them. And then the kicker, that was a strong move by the kicker grabbing his foot. Jameis should have grabbed his arm after every pick six last year. Oh, my God.

What happened to my shoulder? You get immediate sympathy. But yeah, the calf muscle is not the one you want to pull. Well, it didn't. I mean, this movie is 40 years old, but I just watched it because we did a rewatch of us. But it was so Al Cervic and Katyshek. Oh, yeah. When the ball hits him, ooh, my arm.

Right. It's like, I think it's broken. That kicker, it was the delayed reaction before he realized that he had to fake an injury. Right. That was pretty bad. It's like our kids, like, to get out of going to bed or something or going to school, right?

They'll grab their stomach. Another thing I noticed today, when did you get used to the LV on the ticker? Oh, not yet. It hasn't happened. Every time I'm like, what? Is that XFL? I just couldn't

get used to it. I feel bad for all these teams. The Rams tried to open their stadium. Vegas is now going to be on Monday night against New Orleans. It just doesn't feel right. I almost feel like they should play in retro stadiums or something just in the time being. Well, the Rams stadium, I mean,

not to sound like college worth, but that stadium really did look spectacular. There's water. Is that like Action Park? Do we have to dive in the water if we go to the games? I see that. Oh, there's so much. It's like, oh, the Taj Mahal. It's like, all right, I'll never go.

I don't know. I'm never getting there. What are you going to do? Unbelievable TV for all the people who aren't here. Another thing I noticed, all the OG quarterbacks looked awesome. Right? Oh, yeah. Russell, Russell Wilson, Russell Hustle and Bustle.

Rodgers looked great. Lamar looked awesome awesome Mahomes looked great on Thursday night and I wonder like how many weeks that's going to last as the before the continuity

and everybody gets in shape and all that stuff whether it's really as simple as right if your quarterback's really good that's a good thing to have

because the only reason I mention this is Roethlisberger tomorrow night against the Giants. Interesting. Well, you're not counting Drew Brees in there, right? Or top. Well, but you and I were both kind of off on Drew last year.

They canceled each other out. He was at the same level that he used to be at. My personal opinion is no. From an injury standpoint, it seemed like the only big injuries were the Bills lost two of their linebackers, Edmonds and Milano. Yeah. Something to watch because, you know, they played the easiest team they're probably going to play. They weren't very impressive.

Josh Allen still misses a lot of easy throws. Very strange that, I don't know, if they're playing anyone other than the Jets. Another fake injury. That was funny. Or not fake. Le'Veon Bell was mad that people claimed he had a hamstring issue. And then was like, that's it. I'm out of this game.

Clutching on his leg. Gase, first coach fired, has to be the favorite now. Yeah. I can't believe I can't find those odds. Yeah. It's almost like karma-wise they don't want to do him this year in 2020. Maybe. Yeah.

You might be right. there's too much unemployment so yeah I guess Marone would move down and who else Gase has to be one McCarthy probably too son of a bitch another thing I noticed 2020 where weird shit happens

and yet the Bengals, the Lions, the Browns, and the Jets were all on brand. I mean, all of them were completely on brand. The Bengals had a really dumb loss they should have won. The Lions blew a game in an almost historic way.

The Browns took a shit. And then the Jets... I mean, I have Jets fans in my life who were arguing whether they had ever given up on the season within an hour of the season and then other Jets fans going, no, no, this has happened.

We've given up on the season within an hour. No, no, this isn't the first time. So those four just stay on brand. Yeah, they give up at the draft, to be fair. They throw fits, Jet fans. I would say the Cowboys are the most on brand. I mean, there's not one thing that looked different from that team. Well, we cross off a team every week.

Oh, that's right. Every week we cross off a team, although now there's more playoff teams. So there's only 14 teams to cross off. So we don't have to cross off a team until week four. We don't have to. We don't have to. But if don't have to cross off a team until week four. We don't have to. We don't have to. Well,

you did have to cross off a team. Who would you cross off? Because we make these rules anyway for ourselves, but wow. Are we the jets, the team, the close team, the closest being crossed off.

They have to be. Is that what you want to say? Do you see a scenario where the jets are, they come back from this week, they're like, man, remember the Jets got killed in week one and now they're 11-4? I can't believe it. I get, no.

I don't think they, again, it's like the dealer holding six. I don't, you like the Bills and Patriots more than I do. I still think they're maybe nine and seven. But yeah, I don't think the Jets come back. There are a bunch of games where a team's going to be, either team could be 0-2. And I don't think it's fair that we haven't seen the Giants play yet. But I'll cross the Jets off.

I mean, I think they're going to lose next week anyway. Cross them off in pencil. Okay. The only other thing I had for you, just watching that terrible Browns performance, is Odell somebody that could get traded over the next six weeks? And if he did get

traded, could it be to a team that had a shitload of cap space like the New England Patriots? Did you say shitload on purpose? Freudian slip. He had 22 yards receiving today. Two twos. So I thought that was interesting too. I don't know.

What could you get from him at this point? You get a third rounder? I don't know what you get and then have to take his salary? It was so funny. There was two straight plays where Baker didn't throw to him as Odell was getting open

and Odell did the thing where he just stopped running and his arms go flying in the air. It's like, wow, this is just not ever going to work. Well, so last year we did Jameis' over-under time-wise, what time he throws his first pick, and it would be like

1.21 Eastern time, right? If he played the early game. Baker had one at 1.20 today, Eastern time. So that might be our guy to watch for that. But yeah, Baker today is 21 for 39 for 189 yards. I haven't seen it.

I didn't see it at all last year. I know we talked about it last year. Did not see it today. And I don't really see it in general. You can't tell me Jameis is worse than him. Okay. I won't tell me Jameis is worse than him. Okay. I won't tell you that. But, you know, like I said, Tom is on pace for 30-30 also.

That'd be great. That'd be terrific. By the way, didn't Lamar look pissed? Didn't he play pissed today? I thought he had an extra edge. He's like, screw that. We saw Mahomes Thursday night. I'm tired of how we got eliminated.

We're going to try to run the table again this year. It could be fun. Everyone was raving about Dobbins. Yeah. And then to actually watch him, he's like 5'2", 300 pounds of muscle. I don't even know. He's like Fred Flintstone's friend, Barney Rubble. He's got that Barney Rubble body. He's just like low to the ground. Yeah, I don't even know. He's like Fred Flintstone's friend, Barney Rubble. He's got that Barney Rubble body.

He's just like low to the ground. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, he scored twice, but as someone who has Dobbins and what's his name? Ingram. In the same league, in the same fantasy league. Ingram, yeah. That's a mess.

It doesn't really matter. Well, I've dropped Caddyshack and Flintstone's references, so this is going great. My first guest of the line since Istones references. So this is going great. My first guest, the line, since I turned 50, um, let's take a break and then we'll do a week to get slides. All right. Before we do guess the lines, Hey, we teamed up with FanDuel again, this football season, the free ringer mega contest on FanDuel. You can play it all year. You pick five NFL games against the spread, including one double down pick at one point for every correct pick. And two, if you hit your double down pick,

FanDuel will add up your score every week. Just finish in the top 100 on the season-long leaderboard to make the playoffs compete for a share of 25K. It's that simple. I went two and two on Sunday, but I hit Arizona, which was my double down pick. So I'm three and two heading into tomorrow with Tennessee, which is a pick I wanted to recommend for you.

Now in the FanDuel Sportsbook, Tennessee is favored by minus three against Denver. I still like it. I'm still riding with that one. The top hundred in this contest make the playoffs to compete for a share of 25,000. I do my picks. I put them up. Usually the million-dollar picks are mostly what I do for this contest, but I put them on my Instagram and my stories who I picked every week. You can play the Ringer

Mega Contest with me for free every week only on FanDuel. Go to fanduel.com slash megacontest to make your picks today. Again, fanduel.com slash megacontest to make your picks today. Again, Fienduel.com slash megacontest. It's time. All right. Thursday night, Sal. Man, they know how to hurt our feelings. Browns-Bengals. They want cross-offs.

They're like, Bill says cross-offs starting week four. Like, no, no, no. We're going to give you a few off the bat here. You got a suitor. One of these teams is 0-2. We know the stat. When a team goes 0-2, it's impossible to make the playoffs, blah, no, no. We're going to give you a few off the bat here. One of these teams is 0-2. We know the stat. When a team goes 0-2, it's impossible to make the playoffs, blah, blah, blah. Although, like you said, it'll be different this year.

Cleveland is the home team. Do they pipe in angry Browns fans and booing? And how do you pipe in people throwing stuff on in the field if there are no fans? Interesting. Is it virtual batteries? What do we do? You drop them from a plane or something. Oh, that's good.

I like that. Like dropping cargo? I don't know. I just feel like we have Joe Tessitore and Gus Johnson manning that machine that pipes in crowd noise. All right, dial it back just a little bit. That's what Joe's doing now. Yeah, every three-yard play.

I have the Browns favored by three and a half over the Bengals. Ooh, every three-yard play. I have the Browns favored by three and a half over the Bengals. Ooh, you went light. I went seven, and it's six. That's honestly ridiculous. Well, borrow on the road. That's ridiculous.

I guess the road is what it is. I guess the road's not big. There is no road. What kind of bus trip is that? Cleveland, Cincinnati to Cleveland. I guess it's not that big. There is no road. What kind of bus trip is that? Cleveland, Cincinnati to Cleveland. I guess it's not that big. I watched both of those teams today. The Bengals are better than the Browns. I mean, you could argue they're both all in one,

so they both have something to play for. But I thought the Bengals were pretty good in that game. I thought the Chargers played well. I guess you're right. Because if there were fans, would that be eight? That might be, even though I went seven. These Browns lines are the dumbest lines on the planet, and I will never forgive myself for not putting the Ravens in a tease

over Phil fucking Rivers. Yeah. Honestly. What was I thinking? I thought the Browns were going to be... Why was I scared of the Browns? The Ravens? Oh, the Ravens this week over...

Yeah. You said Phil Rivers. You meant Phil Rivers. Yeah, I put Phil Rivers in the Colts in my tease instead of the Ravens. What, the Ravens this week. Yeah. You said Phil Rivers. You meant Phil Rivers. Yeah, I put Phil Rivers in the Colts in my tease instead of the Ravens. Like, what am I doing? I got you. I don't know what you're doing. Yeah.

But Cleveland's got a, I don't know. Are they that miserable that they're going to lose to Joe Burrow at home? Joe Burrow's good. I don't think the Browns are good. All right. Sunday marquee game. I had trouble finding one. Yeah.

What happened here? It really fell apart. I don't know what happened with our schedule, but we don't have a marquee game. I'm making my marquee game. The two teams I enjoyed the most other than Cam Newton and the New England Patriots. Our marquee game will be Arizona hosting the Washington Professional Football Team. Interesting. I have the cards favored by six and a half.

All right, you nudge me. You nudge me out here. I said five. It is seven. And, oh, you won't even take that on a teaser because you like Washington here. I'm bummed that they're playing each other because I was excited to go after both of these teams with picks and bets

and stuff like that separately. And then I was like, Oh man, you were hoping they could meet in week 12 undefeated or something. I was just hoping for like Washington at Carolina or something, you know, some other live play for them. How fast does Murray and that offense look? I was so impressed with them. And 49ers are fast. For Arizona to stand out, that was pretty special. Remember in our fantasy league that I'm

no longer in when I forget what trade it was. Was it the trade Craig Powell made when somebody got somebody awesome and we were just so mad about it? There's like 40 of those, but yeah. Imagine being in the NFC West and you're watching that Hopkins game and you're like, God damn it. These motherfuckers.

They get Hopkins, David Johnson, the second round pick. How the hell does that happen? How do we allow that? Why did we protest this? You know, it's funny. On Thursday night when David Johnson scored the first touchdown of the season and the Texans went up 7-0 on Kansas City, I tweeted, David Johnson won, Hopkins nothing.

Who's an idiot now? And I don't even want to hear that it's too early in the season. And people got mad. People, no one understands. No one understands sarcasm. There's no room for nuance and comedy on Twitter anymore. One of the reasons it's a terrible place. Hopkins could have 14 touchdowns this year.

Maybe more. It's funny because they had Fitzgerald in his prime, obviously. He's still there. But Fitzgerald had that three, four-year stretch where he seemed so imposing every time he got the ball. Remember? He's in the open field and you're just like, oh my God, how does anyone tackle this guy?

Hopkins gave me that feeling. It's weird. It's just weird that they're on the same team. It's like Fitzgerald had a son. Ken Griffey, senior, junior. The watchables. We'll start with your team. You're home again. You're home for the first time.

I don't want to watch this. I guess it's watchable. Do I have to watch it? I think it's watchable from an offensive standpoint. You're playing the Atlanta Falcons. I have the Cowboys favored by six. All right, I hit it exactly. I said seven.

We're going to have fans, I guess, if they show up after this tonight. But, boy, I said that Atlanta defense is so much worse than I thought that, I mean, they're, they're good skill players on offense and everything, and maybe that'll keep them in games. But Dallas should go.

I mean, if Dak is okay, making 31 million, then fine to have a pedestrian game, but they better put 40 up this week. I, I think Atlanta was who we thought they were. I still think they can go 9-7.

Yeah. Their team that's going to give up a lot of points and score a lot of points. Yeah. All right. Shoot out. Eagles home for the Rams. This is a fun one.

The Rams win this one, and there's some fun dominoes. Oh, this is good. This is a watchable. Yeah. This is good. Yeah. I thought this was a borderline, could have put this Sunday marquee.

Eagles, I know more than one Eagles fan in my life who just does not believe in Wentz at all. Right. Like at all. Do you don't believe, I don't know that people, there are people that won't believe in him healthy because I, I don't, I just don't believe he lasts the season.

He like, he has a couple years where he didn't make it to December, but really they don't like him as a healthy quarterback. Well, this week I like them as two point favorites over the Rams. Uh, you get this. I said three and a half.

It is two and a half. Yeah. The Rams are good. My thing with the Rams is as long as they're healthy, I think they have to be treated as a top five team. And you just have to monitor the injured list. And when it gets to a point in the season where it's like, Jalen Ramsey's not playing because he has a pulled hamstring.

And Cooper Cup's not playing. And once they lose three guys, I think you have to factor that in because they'll be pulling people off the street at that point. They have like a 20-person roster. I think that's fair. And let's be honest, like they, you know, C.J. Anderson years, like that was the best time. That's when they were at their best.

They took the pressure off Goff. And if they could figure out this three-headed monster at running back, even if it's 40 yards each, his play action will be more effective, and you'll believe in their offense more. What back were you the most afraid of? I guess Brown. Brown was the best one.

Akers. I like Akers. Yeah. Brown was great today, though. He'll be fine. Boy, if the Eagles lose that one, watch out. That really opens it up for Washington.

Bucks are home for Carolina. And I'll say this about Carolina. We talk about pleasant surprises. People had said this about their offense is going to be really good. Matt Rule, Joe Brady, Bridgewater, they have some weapons. Watch out. That offense is going to be a little friskier than you think. And Bridgewater's TD pass over under, I think, was like

low. It was like 22 and you could get plus odds for it. Right. But it looks like that team's going to score points. We always liked Robbie Anderson when he wasn't in trouble, right? He went for a buck 15 today. I just thought that was one of the ones we said.

This is a new quarterback. He's decent. Teddy Bridgewater is good. He probably should have started in the past more than he did. When he gets in sync with these receivers, he'll be even better. That's maybe why the Raiders snuck up on him. Yeah, they can move the ball. That said, you have Tampa. Oh, we didn't guess here.

Yeah, I have Tampa by six over the Panthers. Oh no. See, I said nine and it's eight. So that's a teaser. Nah, that's a teaser.

That's stupid. Do you think so? Yeah. There's a lot. Well, they'll have fans too, right? Cause Florida doesn't play.

I'm guessing every Florida team is going to have fans, right? What are the bucks? What are the bucks show you today to make you think that they're a good team? Well, they show me that if they go 0-2, they're toast. So I think that line was jacked up a little bit as a result. They looked like they had

never met. No. Yeah. It was like a pickup football game. That's what's weird. You read during the week the scrimmages are great between Tampa and I start getting nervous. I'm like, oh man, maybe he is already in sync and Mike Evans isn't supposed to play. And then he plays like, Oh,

this is, this has a different feel to it, but you're right. That offense needs help. Tom loves Scotty Miller. God, I tell you, he loves this guy.

He absolutely loves this guy. I can't, I, how much do I have to bid on Scott Miller to get him from you or ahead of you in the, in the waiver wire? Tom loves Scotty Miller. Cause he's 43 years old and he keeps thinking it's Julian Edelman.

Uh, chiefs are quote unquote at the chargers. Right? So that's a great stadium. Did you see it? It's like a Taj Mahal. I, uh, I i'm gonna go high i'm gonna say chiefs by seven and a half over the chargers even though it's quote unquote in la yeah you got you didn't go quite high enough although you'll get it for me i went nine and a half i didn't think they're letting anyone get

the chiefs for less than 10 against these mediocre teams but it's eight. So you will get that. And your Chiefs Bucks teaser is looking really nice right now. Chiefs probably tease that before it goes to nine. Yeah, get in on that. Although they should have no trouble scoring a lot of points here. Ravens Texans is

the last watchable game. So we do have five watchable games. Yeah. Yeah, some of these games, some of these teams, The last watchable game. So we do have, we have five watchable games. Yeah. Yeah. Some of these games, some of these teams, Houston, Tampa,

decent teams, Philly, a lot of trouble. They go into, Oh, into Dallas. I have a, that Jalen Rieger,

by the way, even though I don't think the stats show today, he, he did get open a couple of times deep. What did he do? Yeah, he did. I,

did I have numbers on that? I didn't write his name. The old breakaway speed thing was not a phony thing with him. I have the Ravens at Houston laying four points. Yeah, I'm dumb. I said three and a half. It's six and a half. I just think they look at a team like Baltimore is going to score 35, 38 on most warm days.

Tough night for Deshaun Watson tonight. Yeah. Thursday. I was two weeks tonight. He was home. He's watching football all day. Right. He didn't play.

Cause they played on Thursdays. Yes. I'll watch Hopkins in Arizona. Hopefully he won't do that. Well, yeah. And then he's watching that game. He's got, he had to have been so bad. Honey, don't watch play with Arizona. Hopefully he won't do that. Oh yeah. And then he's watching that game. He's got, he had to have been so bad.

Honey, don't watch. Play with the kid on the slide in the backyard. Just wait until Fuller or Cooks gets hurt. Yeah. One of those two guys would be hurt in the next two weeks. I know they eventually play that NFC South, which is in a gangbuster division by any means, but NFL didn't do them any favors,

giving them Casey and Baltimore back-to-back. That is rough. Let's take one more break then we can do the Bear the Watchers. Quick break to talk about Bacardi Spiced Rum. I was debating having a cocktail during this podcast.

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Florida rum with natural flavors and spices, 35% alcohol by volume. Check out Bacardi spice rum. All right. Barely watchables. First one is bears giants. This is stupid. Cause we haven't seen the giants play yet. So I'm putting this in the Vegas zone, barely watchables. First one is Bears-Giants. This is stupid because we haven't seen the Giants play yet, so I'm putting this in the Vegas zone.

Chicago at home, I have them giving four and a half to the Giants. I had six, and it's five and a half, so I get that one. You love Trubisky. Barely. I really do. Short week. They could be 2-0. This could be fun.

Short week. Short week for the Giants. Packers-Lions. The poor poor Lions their season's already over it just feels like swift dropping that touchdown has completely ruined their season I have the uh Packers laying seven to them at home I had exactly seven also it's five and a half probably should be higher although maybe Detroit's had this circle because this is kind of where their season went sideways last year, right? And that Monday night game at Green Bay, ref screwed that up. Maybe Stafford gets his team going.

I would say their season went sideways when their rookie running back dropped the game-winning touchdown. Yeah, this season. This season, right. Titans, Jaguars. Where is this? We haven't seen the Titans play yet. Right. Jaguars where is this we haven't seen the Titans play yet Jaguars I don't know if you knew this

nobody believes in the Jaguars I can't believe they're here the only guys that believe in them are the guys in that locker room I had the Titans by 6.5 over the Jags so I thought 7 was fair 10.5 10.5

because no one believes in them. But I thought that line would go down after they won. Maybe it will. I mean, I guess, like you said, we haven't seen Tennessee play, but that can't go too much higher, right? What would Tennessee have to do with Denver? Hard to root against Minshew.

And the other thing with Marone that I noticed, because you figure he's kind of lame duck, dead man walking. Right? They're quote-unquote going to go for Trevor Lawrence, and now maybe they can't because they won a game. Yeah. He was coaching his ass off in that game.

He was even doing the thing when there was a kicker about to kick, and he's doing the sneak next to the ref called the quick timeout. He was into it. I thought he was really going for it. Could he get fired if he goes 3-0? I'm like, whoa, we want Trevor Lawrence here. I don't know what game plan you're putting together. That would be fascinating.

Doug, you've done too well. I'd love to see it. You're going to have to leave. Colts-Vikings is our next one. These are two teams I don't like that I would have loved to have picked against after the Phil Rivers disaster today. How many more weeks before

they go to Brissette? Oh, no. I think you have to see a little bit. He was great. He was a head case on the sideline. It was vintage Phil Rivers. I love seeing it. It sure was vintage right down to the interception when it mattered. I have the Colts favored by three at home against the Vikings.

I was off by six points in this. I'm terrible. I do this for a living, by the way. I said Vikings minus three, and you hit it exactly. It's Colts minus three. I don't know why the Vikings are so much better. Bills are at Miami. This has... The Bills aren't at Miami. This has...

The Bills aren't at Miami? No, no, they are. Yeah, I just don't like... Go ahead. Very rarely will I call my shot on Guess the Lines. This has Bills minus three written all over it. No. Better write in pencil because it's four and a half.

I said four and a half. It's five and a half. Really? four and a half. It's five and a half. Really? I think that's too many. Right? First of all, Fitzpatrick plays everybody in the division that he's a former teammate. Like, I don't know. They're going to have fans. I think that's too much. Way too much. I agree. Dolphins weren't bad. I actually thought, you know, I thought they played the Pats pretty well. The Pats actually had to like make plays. They didn't really turn the ball over,

do anything dumb, the Pats. Let me ask you a question. It seems like it would be an easy answer, but who are you more confident in as a quarterback on fourth and three quarters of a yard from the 28-yard line? Cam or Tom Brady? 43-year-old

Tom Brady? Whatever. The guy who makes every quarterback sneak he's ever attempted. Yeah. I'm taking Cam over Tom Brady in any sort of athletic anything right now. He's never missed on fourth and one. Right? Yeah, you're right. I don't know. He is batting

1,000. It's a good point. Steelers are home. Let's play the... Wait a second. Broncos? That's right. Yeah, neither team's played yet. Steelers home for the Broncos,

but we haven't seen either of these teams yet. I have the Steelers by five and a half. You're going to get me. I said five. It is six and a half. Yeah, who knows what to think about this. Five, six, seven to three, four, five. It is tied.

Seven to seven. Okay. The Poopfecta. We only have one game in the Poopfecta. It is the San Francisco 49ers at the Jets of New Jersey. I believe the line should be four and a half, but I think it will be higher than that.

I have the Niners by six and a half. I think they'll have an extra two points. I said six. You sure you don't want to go four and a half? No. I said six. It's seven. Full touchdown.

I figured, I think the line should be in the Vegas zone, but there's no way that they know nobody wants... Who wants to take the Jets? Right. You're going to be on your show this week being like, hey, man, I've been really studying the Jets. There's a case there. Are we complicating

things here? Should we take all these 0-1 teams? Dallas. I'm not doing it, but Dallas, San Francisco, Tampa Bay, all these 0-1 teams, Dallas? I'm not doing it, but Dallas, San Francisco, Tampa Bay, all these teams that are 0-1 that stand to be 0-2. Shouldn't we just round robin them in a money line parlay or something? The only case for Tampa is that Evans was questionable all week in practice, and if you put a healthy, badass Mike Evans on that team, it shifts the defense in a different way.

That's the only case. Okay. Sunday night. Seahawks home. My friend Pete Carroll hosted a podcast for us. Oh, nice. Going against the Patriots of New England. Does he have any fond

memories of this specific matchup? I'm sure he likes to beat the Patriots. I think the Seahawks will be favored by three and a half points. I said three and a half also, and it's four. So I'm one behind you and I whiffed miserably on the Monday night game, so I think you're going to win.

But that's a fun Sunday night game, right? Kyle. Kyle. Yo. How are we feeling about this game? Anything is possible, Bill. Let's go Cam. Let's go Superman. Yeah, but what about this game? Anything is possible, Bill. Let's go Cam. Let's go Superman. Yeah, but what about the defense?

You're really going to find out a lot about your defense. Russ said, like I said, four touchdowns, only two or three incompletions. This is tough. You know, the second-round linebacker, Josh Uche? Yeah, you like him. I forget how you say his name. It's U-C-H like him. I forget how you say his name. It's U-C-H-E.

I'm going to say his name wrong for the next five years. But he was supposed to be like a huge piece in the line and he got scratched before the game today. So he didn't even play. Did they say why? It was, no, I didn't see it yet. But in general, like, you could feel the lack of linebackers considering every linebacker we had

from last year's team isn't on this year's team, basically. Right. So that worries me a little with Hustle and Bustle. The secondary is really good. Yeah. But no, like, Jamie Collins-type guy

to be the roamer on Hustle and Bustle. They must have played since the Super Bowl, right? They had to have played. I can't remember. They didn't? I don't know. I just hope they show the Butler play over and over again. They play every four years. That's disgraceful. Monday night, Vegas

opens their new stadium with the New Orleans Saints. I think you're going to get this. You think I'm going to get this? Well, I mean, I, again, I was off by three points,

so I had the Saints by three and a half. Yeah. I had two and a half. It's five and a half. People like what they saw out of New Orleans. Holy mackerel. So six, seven,

eight, nine, 10 to 10 to eight. Son of a Orleans. Holy mackerel. So, six, seven, eight, nine, ten to, ten to eight. Two and O. Son of a bitch. Yep. You're two and O.

Rough day for you. It really is. Patriots, Islanders get beat, Cowboys lose, I lose, guess the lines. From what you saw today,

would you rather have CeeDee Lamb or would you rather have Ruggs? Well, I didn't actually see a lot of Ruggs. I see the stats and everything, but I like CeeDee Lamb's explosiveness. But, you know, if we have a quarterback that's not going to throw downfield, I guess it doesn't really matter. Sounds like you're bitter about Dak's performance today.

I am a little bit. I know they didn't protect him great, and Donald was constant pressure, but I don't protect him great and donald was it was constant pressure but um i don't know something just fling it i'll blame mccarthy for this because i'm really really good at blaming the coaches over the years but uh it's really depressing who are you going to blame for the clippers nugget series being tied three three wow what do we do i forgot what kind of bet i know i have i know i have a series bet on them all over the place. Do you have them too?

Oh, I have the Miami Clippers for that. Right. Right. I felt like I was in awesome shape with, and now the Clippers might not even get to the Lakers series. He wanted a hedge. And I'm like, I really thought about it. I'm like, I think there's three different.

I think you have to get the Clippers to advance to be able to hedge. Um, yeah. What, what, uh, what, what is going on with that? I think there's three different... I think you have to get the Clippers to advance to be able to hedge. Yeah. What is going on with them? I didn't watch the game tonight. I was texting with a couple people I trust, and they were saying, like, the Clips defensively just cannot stop this Jokic, all the different things they're doing with him.

And there's some Doc Rivers questions that have come out of the last couple games. Like, why don't they just play their best defensive lineup? You can have offense with George and Kawhi. Right. Why do you need Lou Williams? Like, they're just torturing Lou Williams when he's out there. Just play your best five defensive guys

and try to take out Jokic and Murray. And you'll be able to score on the other end. But I don't know. The Clips, they've had this on-off switch the whole season. The Nuggets were plus 900 after game four for the series. Wow. And this is what they do to everybody. And the Clips were minus 1600.

Well, we should have known just because in 2020 we're not allowed to have nice things and everyone wants to see Lakers Clippers. So, you know, it's not going to happen. And every time it's almost happened, something weird has happened. Right. But, you know, the big winner is LeBron

because LeBron gets Portland in round one and they're like running on fumes. Then Lord gets hurt. That's perfect. Gets his garbage Houston team in round two that just completely falls, runs for the Hills the first time of strife. And they're down 29 and Westbrook's talking shit and saying,

don't double me. It's like, right. You guys are just a lost cause. It's like loser Island. Yeah. And now Dan Tony's gone. And now the Lakers, they might get Denver in round three.

That's like the perfect team for them to play. Yeah. What is your, um, I was really surprised they ran game six against the whole NFL slate. I thought it would be smarter to even run it against the two NFL games tomorrow night if they wanted to, or maybe I didn't understand it at all. I have nothing Tuesday, so I don't know what what's going on. Yeah. Why wouldn't that have been a Sunday night game just head-to-head against the Dallas, toggle back and forth between the two? That would have been better too.

Yeah. Do you think, I don't know, do you know your Celtics schedule? Do they play up against Thursday night football? Yeah, it's Tuesday, Thursday. All right, if they lose to that terrible game, NBA might have been a little bit of trouble. I'll say this. You know I'm

usually honest about my team. I don't understand why they're favored in the series. Oh, come on. No, no, I'm serious. I seriously don't understand it.

They're minus one 35. They don't have Hayward. This is a team that is like a worst case scenario for them for so many different reasons. And I, I called Miami over Milwaukee last round. I would, I, I called Miami over Milwaukee last round. I would, I,

I hope and pray Boston wins. I actually would be surprised if they won this series. If Hayward's like 15, 20 minutes a game. Yeah. I feel like you're just as, you're just as deep. I know that's a talk that Miami's deep.

I feel like you're obviously Kemba can't go two for 11 or any of this other nonsense he's been pulling lately. But, um, well, so here's the case. Here's the case for the Celts.

Kemba, last series, was the worst case scenario that Nick Nurse, you have all these guards, they're super physical. I think he can score in Miami. That's really the best thing they have going in this series other than I think Jalen can shut down Jimmy Butler.

The thing with Butler, though, is he gets people in foul trouble. He's fucking annoying to play against. He'll get to the line. I feel like Jalen could defend him, but I also think Jimmy could get a couple games where Jalen's got three fouls with 10 minutes left in the second quarter. The things that worry me in order, they have a bunch of kryptonite guys for the Celtics. Just guys that perennially have done really well

against the Celtics for whatever reason. Iguodala, Dragic, Jimmy Butler. Hero, who we barely played, but I'm sure he's going to be a Celtic killer down the line. Olenek, people like that. And they're weird and they're deep. And the Celtics aren't deep. They don't have like that bench.

I think they had 42 bench minutes in game seven. They had seven points. I didn't trust any of the guys we had. And this Miami team can like extend leads with their bench, you know? And they always have shooters out there. And they're just hard. One through nine, they're the best team in the league. I don't know if they're the best team,

but they have the best one through nine of anybody left. And so you take that. I think Dragic is going to be really hard for Kemba to guard. They're going to do the same stuff Toronto did with their guards. They're going to hunt Kemba constantly, try to get switches on him,

always try to torture him. And then they have all these guys to throw Tatum. They can throw Butler at him. They can throw Iguodala at him. They can throw Crowder at him. And, you know, Olenek's another one. Did you see all the shots Ibaka got against the Celtics?

Yeah. Yeah, but I also feel... Just over and over again, those open threes. That's what Olenek does. That's why he's out there. Don't you make everyone... I know you said Jimmy Butler has good games against him. I feel like ultimately in these playoff spots,

the Celtics make everyone's best player look bad. Like, Sockham was bad. Just flat out. I know Lowry ended up being their best player. bad. Like, Sockham was bad. Just flat out. I know Lowry ended up being their best player. And I don't know how it's happened because in the Rosen years, Lowry cost me and the degenerate trifecta a ton of money.

I know. And all of a sudden, he's a superstar. And you and Henge claim he's a fourth referee, which is interesting. Ugh. But, yeah. I have a story about him coming later. All right.

I thought Nurse was incredible as a coach I thought he made one fatal mistake in game 7 first of all Baca played 20 minutes which is nuts he killed us he literally killed us that whole series and then I would have played Powell over Siakam

Siakam was like our MVP other than Tatum and Smart. He was so bad the whole series. And it was like they actually should have pulled him and just gone with Powell and Ibaka and the two guards. Ibaka didn't get nearly as many minutes. It made me think he was hurt in game seven. I don't know why he didn't get playing time. But I am really worried about this Miami series.

I don't think it's a good matchup for the Suns. I'm not saying we can't win. It's just, here's how they win. Kemba goes off because I do think he can go off in that series. And then, you know, if Tatum can do what he did in that Toronto series, where by the end of the series, like, this guy's the best player in the series, he has to be the best player in the series. That's what you need.

So they have those two guys, and they can get Hayward back for 20 plus minutes a game. Right. But I don't know how they're favored. I honestly, I think it should be like Miami minus 150,

something like that. Well, you're not that worried because you have Miami Clippers at 30 to one. So you'll be all right. I am worried. I love this Celtics team. I was,

well, I'll get into it when we do parent-parent. I don't know if anyone's smarter than us and knows how to hedge, you know, with somebody like you haven't, once you get in that next round,

you'll be good with the Clippers, but I don't know. I don't know what you do. There's a case for hedging where you make the bet and then you just put it over there and you never think about it again. Yeah, sure. And you just bet it game by game the way you always would,

but you just have this other value thing that you did a long time ago. It's one of those stops. You say, you know, I'm not touching that. I don't have to do anything. But meanwhile, every day you're looking like, okay, what is it now?

All right, we're done talking sports. It's time. It's time for Parent Corner. It's brought to you by CarMax, the way car buying should be. As parents, we need all the confidence we can get. And when it comes to used car shopping, our friends at CarMax have got your back.

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easy car buying could be. Check them out today at carmax.com. The way car buying should be. Cause yeah, you're on the clock. What do you got? All right. Well,

this is more a parent corner relationship thing between my father and me because I realized I didn't spend any time with the kids this week, which is great. The wife loves that part of it. But anyway, and like I said, my book is coming out. You can't lose them all. It's on Amazon.com. You can preorder it now. And one of the stories I tell is when I first started gambling, actually, there are many

points where I just first start gambling. But when I'm betting on football, I have a bookie and I'm 19 years old and I go to the basement to put in my bets. It's about 10 to 1 on the East Coast. I'm living in New York and my father opens the door and I'm talking to the bookie on the phone. My father opens the door to the basement and here's some of what I have to say and like slams the door to the basement and here's some of what I have to say and like slams the door.

And I'm like, OK, he's closing the door. So my mother doesn't hear that I'm gambling. That's good. That's good, bro. Thanks for sticking up for me. And then when I get off the phone, I go upstairs. He's like, hey, I need to talk to you in the garage. I was like, oh, crap. All right.

And we go in the garage and he's like, I want to show you something. And now he's like being nasty. And I'm like, this is not going to be good for me. Um, he caught me gambling and I'm going to be taught a lesson. And he opens the drawer to the garage, like the sliding drawer. And as far as I knew, all that was in there was like his tools and a rifle he had, uh, growing up, he was on the rifle team in high school. And he was very happy to announce that he was like one of the best marksmen in the school. And I was like, holy shit, he's mad at me for gambling. Am I going to get shot like execution style here in the garage because I gambled? Is he going to take a tool and hacksaw me to death? But it was neither of those things. He had a check from his boss for I think like $2,000 and it was like a those things. He had a check from his boss for, I think, like

$2,000. And it was like a bonus check. It was the end of the year. And it was something he got for being the top five salesman in the company. He's like, this, he holds it up. And he says, this is how you earn money, not by gambling. I want you to cut it out now. And why he had the check in the toolbox, I have no idea in case maybe the bad guys were going to come in the middle of the night and then he could like pull out the rifle and shoot them if they were going to try to sign this check that they couldn't cash unless he endorsed it. But I don't know what the moral of the story is there, but I didn't stop gambling at all, obviously.

And it paid off. So it's like the child's palmitary thing. Um, you know, like, uh, don't do as I say, do as I do kind of thing. But, um, so I went along with that. That's my parents. So it's good to be a good parent and try to be a good parent, but a lot of times it's not going to work. I became a degenerate gambler anyway.

But thank you, Dad. Thank you mainly for not shooting me that day. Thanks for a spirited effort. Yes, exactly. And you can read about that. You are who you are. You are who we thought you were. Yes, and you can see what a lunatic I am in this dumb book.

You can't lose them all. All offered on Amazon.com. Well, Young Gamblers, I gave my son a little bank account to gamble with. So this is opposite of what my father did. $300. Well, my son, as we discussed in previous parent corners, is really

into football now. Has multiple fantasy football teams, watched football all day with me and Kyle, and made his first bet, which was a tease with the Colts, the Steelers, and the other team, the Ravens. So how do you explain this to you? You had to explain it to him.

Like, okay, this is the line. He's weirdly smart with numbers and stuff. So I was like, so you win this. The Colts, they have to win by a point. So I laid it all out, and I was like, all three wins, you win it. He's like, they have to win by a point. So I lay it all out and I was like, all three wins, all three win, you win it. He's like, I got it, dad. So does the thing.

And then Rivers does his thing. He's so mad. I put a couple of the videos on Instagram. He was just completely furious, angry, he's mad at me. So he loses his first bet. Thanks to the Colts completely collapsing against this dumb Jacksonville team that will probably never win another game, but it was great. So then he's like,

all right, I got to win it back. And I'm like, oh, you want to chase? And, uh, and he ended up, uh, betting on a Tampa Dallas parlay, um, to try to win the little money that he had bet back that lost too. So then I had to explain to him when little money that he had bet back. That lost too. So then I had to explain to him when it's time to let go for the night. But it's not your day. Tomorrow's a new day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gonna go to bed. Maybe take a bath, get a massage, maybe have a shave. And then tomorrow's a new day. Is it tomorrow? Will he bet tomorrow or will you make him wait till the weekend? He likes the Steelers a little bit.

Wow. Yeah. This is great. But yeah, look, if you really want your kids to like football, it's fantasy and it's gambling. It's going to be the things that get them. Like he's, as Kyle can attest, just going bonkers every single moment with the fantasy team.

And it is how, it is why football will never be killed. Yeah. Football will exist forever because of fantasy football and that's why baseball is going to die. You didn't have to introduce him to gambling, though. Fantasy would have been enough in Maniacs. Well, it's not like tiny bets. It's not like real bets. He's going to squander your fortune. This is going to be the funniest

fucking thing ever. No, he's fine. I love it. I love it. Speaking of Parent Corner, I can't believe you dismissed me teaching my son about gambling. You know what it fine. I love it. He barely knew what was going on. But speaking of Parent Corner, I can't believe you dismissed me teaching my son about gambling. You know what it is? I got nervous.

I felt myself in there. I get nervous a little bit. I don't know why. You're just jealous you didn't think of it. The other Parent Corner I have, so my mom, who's Italian, you have an Italian side

in your family. The Italians are lunatics. Yeah, I know. My father tried to kill me with a hacksaw and a rifle my mom is 100% Italian the Italians are nuts they hold grudges they don't talk to each other for years

they throw little barbs they are still mad about things that happened 21 years ago they remember the exact wording of how they were offended by something they believe in evil eyes my mom happened 21 years ago. They remember the exact wording of how they were offended by something. They believe in evil eyes. My mom was, I won't say the family member, but my mom was convinced the family member put the evil eye on her and she bought an evil eye necklace to ward off the evil eye. All this stuff. They call it the maloikio, the curse. So my mom, a while back, I want to say

how many years ago, became convinced, and this is an Italian thing she claims, that if you put a picture of somebody in the freezer, you freeze them and you give them bad luck. Wow. So, and I have been very careful. I'm very careful of tapping into my mom's dark powers.

But this Toronto series drove me crazy. Oh, no. I didn't want to lose to this Toronto team. I sports hated the shit out of Kyle Lowry. And it would have been one of the worst series losses of my life as a Boston fan. Just to lose to an inferior Raptors team that was just all heart and guts

and trickery and veteran stuff. And we were headed toward this world where the Celtics lose in seven. And we go like, what the hell happened? We won five of the first six games. How did we lose the series? I really think they have a shot

at winning the title potentially. So I called my mom and I was like, I need you to put Kyle Lauer in the freezer. So she's like, all right, send me a picture. Prints out the picture, puts Kyle Lauer in the freezer. And Kyle Lauer went five for 15 and fouled out. No kidding. That's so it works. Well, I'm going to show you her freezer on Friday night because my son slept over. You see Trump at the top. Kyle Lowry underneath him.

That was in her freezer. Wow. All right. I guess we'll know in November. Trump's been in there for a couple months. Let's just say it hasn't been a good couple months for him. Trump's been in there since 2015. So the moral of the story...

Trump should have gone in there sooner. So anyway, I'm not going to tap into that again, but I really wanted to get by Toronto. Everything else is gravy down. Nobody else is going in the freezer. That's an insane story. Two things. First of all, did it occur to you to do the freezer thing or

it had to be your mother to do it? No, it has to be my mother. It has to be her. Okay. Who do you remember her putting in the freezer when you were growing up? Anybody? Well, this was a relatively last 20 years thing,

but A-Rod has been in the freezer. So it's a lot of sports and politics. Maybe in the O4 range. Yeah, my mom, she also, there's a shrine that she makes sometimes for certain Celtics, Red Sox, Patriots games. But it doesn't get, it's not like J.R. Ewing or someone, like a bad character she roots against on a TV show or something. No, no, no.

The freezer is like. Serious shit. Has powers. You can't really go to the freezer that often. I got it. I apologize to Kyle Lowry for having put him in the freezer, but I need to cool him off. Yeah, that's all right. He went 5 for 15.

He's used to being cold. That's great. I like that. Wow. Yeah, I should have put Sean McVay in the freezer tonight. I didn't know anything about this freezer stuff. I was going to tell you, Dak Prescott went in there today. I don't know if that had anything to do with that.

Ted Williams' head's in that freezer too, I think. Alright, that was Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax. Stop by your local CarMax for written details and see how easy car buying can be. Check them out today at CarMax.com. CarMax, the way car buying should be. Alright,

cuz, so you have multiple podcasts. Yeah. You have the Extra Points podcast and you have the Against All Odds podcast. You also have a new book coming out on Amazon. Yes. You can't lose them all. Pre-order that on Amazon, please. And you have the TV show.

TV show, Fox Bet Live, 5 p.m. Eastern Time on FS1. And yeah, Waiver Wired is a fantasy podcast on extra points lemon pepper parlay laugh lines all that stuff against the odds yeah we hit our parlay uh the three of us on extra points it was they gave us a point it was extra points for extra pay it was baltimore minus six and a half um who else now i can't remember oh green bay plus three and a half we got an extra point for everyone and buffalo minus four and a half it They paid plus 460 on Fandle. Wow. Well, tomorrow's going to be great.

Two football games. Yeah, that's fun. Tuesday, we have Celtics game one, Clips Nuggets game seven. Yeah. And then Marcelo and I are coming on here right after, probably until the wee hours, breaking down. I mean, if the Clippers lose this game,

that will be one of the most shocking 96-hour twists I can remember in a series. What kind of line do you think is on that? I haven't looked. Nuggets-Clips? Yeah. I would say probably Clips by six. Yeah, that's what it's been.

So, um... Like Clips minus 220? Clippers minus seven and a half. 207 over under. Seven and a half, that's high. Now listen, I'm going to urge you, take the under in this, 207. The last three game sevens have gone under.

Don't shake your head. Last three game sevens... No, you're right. You've been saying this forever. By double digit point, they're like, it's 92-88. It's crazy. Go under shake your head. Last three games. No, you're right. You've been saying this forever by double digit point. They're like, it's 92 88. It's crazy. Go go under 207 there. And your Celtics are a point and a half favorite.

Those game sevens, they go slower. Everyone's tight. Yeah. And it's 15 points less than they would normally score it again. I'm with you. Yeah. All right. Cuz as always, good job by you. Good job by you. All right. Thanks to Cousin Sal. Don't forget to pre-order his new book on Amazon.

Thanks to Spotify. Thanks to CarMax. Back Tuesday night with Ryan Rosillo coming off of Celtique Game 1 and Clippers Nuggets Game 7. And if you can't wait to hear me until then, new rewatchables coming with Wesley Morris. I won't spoil the movie.

You're not going to expect this one, but it did come out in the last 20 years. So there you go. I will see you on the Rewatchables Monday night and on this feed on Tuesday. On the wayside I don't have On the wayside I don't have