The Bill Simmons Podcast - Dak Vs. Purdy for MVP, a BS Perfect Game, Fake Herbert Trades, Unruly Sons, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Cowboys handily beating the Eagles, Lions-Bears, the Chiefs falling to the Bills, Rams-Ravens, Buccaneers-Falcons, another disappointing Chargers loss, Colts-Bengals, and Browns-Jaguars (1:24) before guessing the lines for NFL Week 15 (55:45) and closing the show with Parent Corner (1:22:20). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up, we're talking week 14 NFL and something that has never happened to me before. Next. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too. Miller Lite keeps it simple for us. Undebatable quality, great taste. Picture this, it's game day. All the gang's here. You're tailgating outside the stadium. It's a great time for beer.

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Lite can signal the beginning of Miller time. Miller Lite is the light beer with all the great beer tastes we like. 90 calories per 355 mil can. So why not grab some Miller Lights today? Your game time tastes like Miller time. Must be legal drinking age. It's the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. Football is in full action. FanDuel's highest rated sports book is the best place to bet it all. We've been doing pretty well on million dollar picks this year. I love the first month of the season because you have to go into the season thinking, I think Pittsburgh's going to be good. I think the chargers are going to be good. I think Seattle's going to be good. And then trying to back what you think in those first few weeks,

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Here's what you have to do. Visit FanDuel.com slash BS to download America's number one sportsbook. The ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available and listen to the end of the episode for additional details. You must be 21 plus and present in select states. Gambling problem called Win 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. We're having new rewatchables coming on Monday night. This is a big movie. It's a big 1993 movie. We have four

people in the podcast and that's all I'm going to tell you. So stay tuned for that. And as a bonus, we're going to be revealing the four Rewatchables Tour locations and the movies and how to buy tickets to go to the shows at the end of January. That's going to be in that podcast. So stay tuned for that. So much to cover on this podcast coming up with me and Cousin Sal. I am super prepped. I am absolutely hyped.

I am not only in the holiday spirit, but I am out of my mind right now. And you're going to find out why. But first, our are taping this. It is 842 Pacific time. This is the happiest BS podcast we've had in a long, long time. I had an unbelievable day. We'll talk about that later.

Sal had an even better day. He pulled the Eagles albatross. He pulled it off the back of his back. He whipped it down. He stomped on it. He pointed at Big Dom. What a great night. You have a field goal kicker.

You're probably the number two favorite to win the Super Bowl I can't say enough good things and you look like a pig in shit right now thank you I think I vowed that Big Dom was not going to be the most obese Italian who had a good Sunday night

and I was right it was me it was me after all classic beat down Simmons and I promised last week I was me. It was me after all. Classic beatdown, Simmons. And I promised last week I wouldn't make a big deal out of it if this occurred and I lied because I like everything about this, honestly. Except for the calendar.

That's the only thing I don't like that I see. I wish this was January and we could get it going because momentum is such a big deal. Yeah, I can't even figure out how somebody would shit on this other than to say, I mean, there's going to be a point, it will be made on the talk shows tomorrow, was did this game say more about where the Eagles are

than where the Cowboys are? Because their defense was so bad. They give up the six touchdowns in a row to the Niners. They come into this game, you go touchdown, field goal, touchdown, touchdown, first half. And for some reason, Collinsworth was making it seem like the Eagles were going to come back. It was a really weird, I felt like the game was over almost immediately. By the time we were headed toward the second quarter, I was like, they're not going to be able to stop you all game.

I think the fall of the Eagles defense over this last four weeks has been shocking. Because we thought at the very least they were going to be able to push, push, push constantly. They had the solid secondary. And now it just seems like anybody can move the ball up and down the field on them. Yes. Unless they're playing possum, unless they're doing exactly what I'm worried about, they're laying back a little and say, all right, we still control our own destiny. We got a cupcake schedule coming up. We're not going to lose to the Giants either of the two times or the Cardinals.

Seattle's kind of beat up, but I don't think that's what's going on. But yeah, I definitely like what I'm seeing here. I mean, I would normally be terrified on that fumble six return for a touchdown, but I was like, we still have this in hand. We've punted once since Thanksgiving. This is a

great, that kicker, that Brandon Aubrey, is like effortless kicks. It looks like he's using 60% of his leg. He's like just meeting. I know he's going to miss three extra points in the wildcard round game in January. He's going to kick it into the cheerleader section. But it really looks like his boot is loaded.

Like they might check the Iron Sheik for a loaded boot. It's amazing what's going on. Yeah, they're bored field goal kicks. He's like, alright, I'll kick another 58 yarder. He's like, I don't want to get hurt. I'll do a couple for your friends. So many good storylines from

Dallas being in here. We could start with Dak, who I think is officially in the MVP combo. Although, Purdy's got, it's got to be at least co-favorites. I refuse to put Purdy over Dak or vice versa. Purdy was awesome today. Purdy,

he was six for six on balls 16 plus yards today. He's, he's turned into, they keep comparing him to Kurt Warner and there's a reason for it because he looks like

1999 Kurt Warner and it was the same body, but he's just throwing lasers all over the field. And I don't think he, I don't think Dak's been better than him. Well, I know.

And it's not like Dak doesn't have a great supporting cast, a lot on defense too. But isn't everyone who likes Purdy now, three weeks ago, crying for McCaffrey to be MVP? And Deebo Samuel has been phenomenal. I mean, that reboot is crazy. Every time he touches the ball, it looks like there's no way it's going to get within 10 yards of him.

So I don't know how it could be all these things. Dak is plus 150. I'm just saying it's even. Two to one. Yeah, I think that's fair. I saw on Twitter, Trent Williams, who I had no idea is one of the great orators of our time. He had like a five-minute response to a question about Brock Purdy

after the game today. And in five minutes, he won me over completely. He was like so disdainful of people who were like, oh, it's all the weapons. It's not what Purdy's doing. And he just kind of like calmly picked it apart. It was like the best interview I've seen all year. I thought it was great. Did you see it?

It was great. I did. I did. It was the post-game interview. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. I just, I didn't like the subject matter. I think he's wrong

about it. Listen, all I'm saying is Dak versus Purdy, I think, is where we are. I think Hurts is falling back. Lamar's kind of lingering, but even today, I know they won. He had the fourth-quarter drive, but he wasn't amazing in that game. Fandel has it. Prescott 150, Purdy 200,

and then Tua, Lamar, and Hurts at 8-1. Yeah, I think that's fair. And Tyreek could have 200 yards tomorrow night and whip himself into that. So we have the Dak thing, which you've been through, I would say, a fair amount with Dak over the years. I would say it's been a little bit of a rollercoaster ride. But he's in right when it feels perfect. Then, of course, he gets strip-sacked, and they get a pick six.

And they just had to sprinkle a little dust on it. But for the most part, they look great. I'm at the part of the rollercoaster ride where I'm not quite ready to vomit, but it's coming up. I know it's in three weeks on the downfall. So we have that. We have, for the first time,

I think since we've done this podcast, where I don't think Dallas has been a top two team in the league this late in the season. Like we have the holidays in two weeks and it got me thinking like all the, just what would happen? The Superbowl's in Vegas.

If Dallas could somehow get there, what is Jerry Jones going to be like over these next four weeks, five weeks, six weeks? Does he do something dumb? Does he embrace it? I don't know. There's just a lot of storylines. Plus, you have the Stephon Gilmore, the amazing resurgence

of him. You have Parsons. You have C.D. Lamb. He's kind of moving into the best receiver conversation a little bit. But there's a lot of fun. And then McCarthy, who was coaching today with no appendix. What a hero. Right. No appendix. We were worried all his coaching ability was in the appendix. And now that that's gone, we had no idea what to expect today. But yeah, listen, honestly, when you say they're a top two team, I assume you're putting the 49ers at number one, but

they're still like 25 points better than the Cowboys and the Eagles. So I can't get too excited about the Vegas Super Bowl. They're still in the NFC, so it's tough. The AFC, I have no idea who the best team, but good luck. Well, one of the great things for you is, let's say somehow you get the NFC East, you'd be the two seed, unless the Niner or something weird happens,

but you'll be playing a soon to be awful seven seed in the NFC, right? If you end up the five seed and you're playing the worst, uh, champion, uh, division champ. Yeah. Yeah. That team's going to be terrible too. So you at least know that round one, you're probably going to be favored by between eight to 11 points.

So I think you're in a nice spot. Uh, Warren sharp, our friend who's on the Friday, uh, podcast with house who helped me out by the way, with, uh, with my fan duel, same game parlay.

That was 13 to one when I made it, but it hit at 11 one today. That was, he was like, he was pro James cook. James cook was a beast. So thank you. Warren sharp,

but he had a tweet. The Cowboys have scored 17-plus first-half points in seven straight games. Only one other team in the last 60 years has accomplished that feat, the 2007 Patriots. That's not nothing. Seven straight. Yeah, well, we made it to the Super Bowl.

We had the lead with two minutes to go. We had five Giants had to hold on the helmet catch to prevent us from winning the Super Bowl, but that's fine. No, it's great. Honestly, you said I've been through a lot with this team, and there were years where we'd go 11 games without scoring a touchdown or a point on the first drive or most of the first quarter. You know what? I don't like your demeanor.

I don't like your demeanor right now. I know. I know. You're throwing water. You're throwing water on. I know what you're throwing water. You're throwing water on. I just, I know what you're up to. You're trying not to be too excited, but deep down, I know you had 40 texts today where you were having fucking orgasms all over the place. More than that.

More than that. Just admit it. Just admit you're orgasmic right now. Okay. I'm orgasmic, but we're still going to get a five seat. I mean, I don't see any way around it. I don't see it. Well, what do we have for the rest of the Philly games?

What are we looking at? The Phillies are at Seattle next week. I think't see it. What do we have for the rest of the Philly games? What are we looking at? Philly's are at Seattle next week. I think it's a night game. And then they have the Giants twice in Arizona once. So they're at least 3-1. Probably 4-0 against Drew Locke. Who knows? Well, Seattle,

they kind of need that game. They're in a swoon right now. I don't know what to think with that team, honestly. Yeah, they hung around against the Niners for about, what, 50 minutes? Just long enough to make you worried about your Moneyline parlay they had the Niners in? Right, there you go. Or the teaser, but then it was fun.

Danny Kelly was on Ringer Wise, guys. He's a Seattle fan. I think they're amongst the most frustrating team now if you're a fan of that. Frustrating and like you thought you were getting Geno Smith was going to enter the five top seven quarterbacks in 2023. He tailed off.

Even so, you got a decent team. Metcalf gets thrown. I think he has like four or five personal fouls. I have him on my fantasy team. Just the negative yards are crazy with these personal fouls. He got kicked out again. He's like the Draymond Green of the NFL. Yeah, but then he scored last week against the Cowboys.

Like, oh, that should be happening. Oh, he scored today. This should happen all the time. So they're frustrating, and they're probably, I don't know. I think they might be the odd man out here, right? Yeah, you want to do that. I don't know. I think they might be the odd man out here, right? Yeah, you want to do that. I don't know. Let's do all the 6-7 schedules the rest of the year in the NFC

and all the 7-6 for the AFC. Well, how many teams do you think are 7-6 or 6-7? Top of your head. Is it 8? 13. Oh, it is? In both conferences, yeah. 7-6 or 6-7.

There are 13 teams with one of those two records. I'm counting the Packers because whatever happens to them, unless they tie. Right now, in the NFC, we have Niners, Eagles, Lions, then the

crappy NFC South team. Those are our top four. Dallas or Philly is the five seed. And then it goes, right now, Minnesota would be in the playoffs at seven and six and Green Bay, six and six, probably beating the Giants tomorrow. And then we have Seattle at six and seven, the Rams at six and seven, the Saints in Atlanta at six and seven. And then the very frisky kind of starting to have ideas. Chicago bears at five and eight saying, why not us Chicago rest of the way at Cleveland next week, home for Arizona,

home for Atlanta at green Bay, potentially could control some sort of destiny. A bunch of the teams play each other. So next week, um, green Bay and Tampa Bay are playing each other at a teams that are in this mix, but, everything's wide open. And then it gets really good at the end of the teams play each other. So next week, Green Bay and Tampa Bay are playing each other out of teams that are in this mix. But everything's wide open.

And then it gets really good at the end of the year because we got Green Bay against Chicago and we have New Orleans against Atlanta. So the two-leazer-leave-towns match that weekend. Yeah. I mean, I thought they would wisen up. They had that bye. And I thought someone in the organization

would look at their schedule and the draft order and say, wait a minute, what the hell are we doing? We have all this time off. Let's figure out a way that we could lose. Sure, we're going to get the Panthers pick. They're a number one worst with a bullet, but we could get the third pick too, but they just keep winning, and it's making it interesting.

Now it's a decision for the Bears bears or like you were saying earlier, um, or they can play possum, even if they haven't made a decision, you know, with the Justin Fields thing. I think they should. Well, let's, I want to talk about the fields thing, but I think they should go for it. Like I bet on the bears plus three today. I thought that line should have been even lower. Um, they Fields, I tweeted about it and not everybody thought that it was a serious tweet, but I've been really impressed

by Fields the last five weeks. I don't know. I know there's, Schrager and I talked about it a little on Thursday. There's a lot of reasons to not bring him back for year four

and just take a rookie. You're basically buying three extra years of rookie cap salary instead of having to pay whatever. But we watch football every Sunday and Fields, he moves around. He's confident.

He's making throws downfield way better than he did in the first two and a half years of his career. And I think there's a real poise to him now. I think he's confident in the team. I thought he killed the Lions today. He was good. He ended up 223 passing, 12 for 58 rushing, no turnovers, which was huge.

And the team at least has an identity. And then defensively, they're way better than you would have thought for a team that seemed like they made a couple dump trades there in the second month of the season. I think they're good. Like for the bad teams, I think they're like a good bad team.

I think they're good. I mean, I know we're going to do this for everyone. At Browns versus Cardinals versus Falcons at Packers. They're either favored or what? Three-point underdog for any of those. They can win all those games. And by the way, I know this doesn't work because the salary structure and everything, but is it the worst thing in the world to have two quarterbacks?

Everybody has a quarterback hurt by week three. Like if they can make that work, the Bears wouldn't be, but is it the worst thing in the world to have two quarterbacks? Everybody has a quarterback hurt by week three. If they can make that work, the Bears wouldn't be able to make it work because they're the Bears, but that could be a consideration too, but they're fun. The other piece of this, everybody's thinking, well, would they keep Fields and trade the pick?

What is Fields worth and is that value going up from other teams that watch this when there's 12 teams that have a QB in the league? I'll tell you this, he's way better than anybody that Pat's about over the last four years. And you can design a certain type of team around him. And I think the Bears have kind of stumbled into an identity over the last few weeks. I first noticed that that first Detroit game when they almost foiled all the money that we all had on the Detroit

running line and the teasers and it was like it felt like oh what's Detroit doing but at the same time it just felt like the Bears also look good

what's happening here and then it just kind of kept going week after week they were excellent today and then on the flip side you have the Lions they look great they look like

a Super Bowl contender they lose 38-6 to Baltimore they beat Vegas by 12 right before McDaniels gets fired they barely beat They look great. They look like a Super Bowl contender. They lose 38-6 to Baltimore. They beat Vegas by 12 right before McDaniels gets fired. They barely beat the Chargers by three. And the Chargers move the ball and then the whole game

score 38 points. They barely beat Chicago in that game we mentioned that they came from behind and scored 17 points. Yeah, down 12, but like four minutes left. Lose to Green Bay

pretty convincingly. They barely beat the Saints and then they lose to Chicago. But what's interesting here is their last four, home Denver, who's playing well, at Minnesota,

at Dallas, home Minnesota, and Green Bay is suddenly lurking behind them, two back, but with a legitimate chance

to maybe grab the division. Because Green Bay, the rest of the way, they have Tampa this them, two back, but with a legitimate chance to maybe grab the division. Because Green Bay, the rest of the way, they have Tampa this week, at Carolina, at Minnesota, home Chicago. It's not insane to think that they could win the division, right? They're playing the Giants tomorrow night. I'm assuming they win that. I have the Giants winning that game. But you know better than I would.

We're going to get to your week. So whatever you think happens this week is probably what's going to happen. I don't think. I just feel that one of these quarterbacks that we've turned the corner on, and Jordan Love looked great last week. But, you know, Josh Dobbs, we can't get him out of there fast enough now, and neither could the coach, so he's gone. But we loved him.

We loved him. So the Jordan Loves loves the Jake Brownings. Who else am I thinking of? Someone, it's going to Minshew. I'm just trying to think of someone in the last couple weeks. Flacco. One or two or all these guys is going to disappoint us.

I still don't. The Lions can't get a stop though. You're right. They cannot get a stop when they need it. The Bears rushed 30 for 142 against them today. And just week after week, teams are moving the ball on them. And then there's the golf piece of it, too. Like today, he was 20 for 35 for 161. Two picks.

Took four sacks. And he's looking a little more like COVID-era, first-yearff than the guy where we're... We did this segment, what, five weeks ago on the pod? Like, is Jared Goff one of the best seven quarterbacks in the league? And he's been in a tailspin since. He's got everyone healthy too. It doesn't make sense. Both his running backs are clean and Jameis and Williams should be good to go, right?

I don't understand it. The Norths, plural, have become the most interesting region in the two conferences. AFC North, NFC North. We've had teams hopping over each other, teams looking like they're done, teams going backwards. I mean, what happened to Pittsburgh?

Pittsburgh basically sets a record by losing the two teams that were eight games below 500 in back-to-back weeks. It hadn't happened for like 70 years. Sorry for your win, by the way. I forgot to tell you. I forgot to send my condolences.

I was so upset. I was at the Vegas, the semifinal. I looked down and we're up 14 to three and my dad's just texting me, WTF? My dad's using modern acronyms. Let's take a break. I want to talk about Bill's Chiefs. This episode is brought to you by Prime Video. You know me, I can't go a day without sports. I really can't. And now Monday nights are all about hockey. That's right. There's a new exclusive home for streaming Monday night NHL hockey. And it's on prime

all season long. Watch prime Monday night hockey deliver unreal plays. The biggest goals can't miss moments. Matthews, McDavid, Crosby, the NHL's best. They're all on prime prime Monday night hockey. It's on Monday. It's on prime. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you could still walk or run 60 kilometers,

host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now. Just search Movember. So the game of the day, I think, was Bill's Chiefs, which was the, does anyone actually want to win this bowl?

And the Chiefs were incredibly upset after the game and during the game because Mahomes threw a tantrum because of the Kadarius Tony being offsides. Kelsey catches a long pass, throws it backwards. It would have been one of the coolest plays. Perfect play. And also like a new way for the Buffalo Bills to lose a must-win game. I don't think they've had that one on the bingo card yet. And then it gets called

back and they show the replay and Tony is so far off sides that you can't even see the football on the camera that's dead even with it. He's like basically standing next to the defensive ends. And then after the game, Mahomes and Andy Reid and they're like, that's ridiculous.

That's never called. They always tell the guy, it's like, Tony's just looking straight ahead. He never looks at the ref. It's a huge fuck up. He already did this a couple weeks ago. And I was just, I thought it was kind of beneath them, the way they whined about this.

It was like, he was outside. Sorry, we have rules. One of the rules is you're not allowed to line up on the defensive side of the ball and then make a big play. So I just, I couldn't believe they reacted like that. I feel bad saying this and I'll take it back if he comes up tomorrow as a press conference

and says, I lost my cool. We got to get focused for the remainder of the season. The Bills played great and all that stuff. But I lost a little respect for Patrick Mahomes. And I love that guy. I talk about him as a generational quarterback like everybody else does. But crying during the postgame handshake with Josh Allen, that's one of the worst calls I've ever seen. All those things you said were true. He was also, they do call that. They called it twice last year. They call it 11 times this year. So they definitely call that. And the other thing is, Mahomes has benefited from a bunch of questionable calls over the years.

So that's going to happen. And guess what? If he's that far off, it's Kadarius Toney. He screws up in every single way. He drops all your big passes. You should know if they called him for being off sides, then he was off sides. I mean, you're right. You couldn't see the ball.

The refs couldn't see the ball. So they had to do that. I don't know. Yeah, they got mad in the post-game press conference. They made that point. They were like, we couldn't even see the football. He was so far off sets. Could this be, I feel like as far as,

maybe they're not a dynasty, the Chiefs, but as far as a team that's close to being a dynasty, they were pretty likable, right? Everybody hates your team. Everybody hates my team when they were dynasties. The Chiefs, I feel like, avoid that stigma a lot. Avoid it. Past tense. Avoid it.

Between the Taylor Swift stuff, and now if he's going to become a crybaby, let's put him in different territory, I think. You know, we're at the 20-minute mark. I'm going to bring basketball into this, so. Oh, good, good. Thanks for waiting. Yeah. Last year, I was doing this whole thing, good. Good. Thanks for waiting. Yeah. Last year, I was doing this whole thing about how Curry and Mahomes were like spirit animals.

They're in the 2022 finals. Then Mahomes last year. It's like, those guys are so great. They'll beat everybody else. This year, the Warriors and the Chiefs are spirit animals in a different way. They just blow fucking dumbass games in the last five minutes. The Warriors, they've lost six games exactly like in the last five minutes the Warriors they've lost six games

exactly like how the Chiefs lost today they lost one to OKC on on Friday night Draymond fouls Chet Holmgren on a three

he makes threes it goes to OT they lose same play a month ago and Chet hits the three because they don't foul like they can't

you know pull their heads out of their ass and you look back at the Chiefs. The Chiefs are 8-5. And it feels like they could be like 11-1. Yeah.

You know, like the Valdez-Scantling play and then this game. And that's just... It's not the refs. It's not the refs fault. They're slapping. Yeah, I know. Catch some balls. Redirect your anger.

I don't get it at all, Tim. It was a great win for Buffalo, and it was also the most Buffalo win of all time. I was texting with our friend, R.L. Hawane, during it, who's a diehard Buffalo, because I was going nuts, because we'll talk about the week I had in a second, but I needed Buffalo.

I had Buffalo in a tease. I had them in million-dollar picks. I had them in our picks pool, and they get the ball. So basically they're up 14, nothing in late in the second quarter. And it looks like they're cruising out and throws a pick chiefs come down. It's 14, seven halftime. It's like, all right, 10 play drive to start the second half settle for a field goal. 17, seven Casey immediately gets a TT TD Buffalo three and out Casey fumbles on their own 42.

Oh, this is it. Buffalo's going to put it away. Nope, they go three and out for minus eight. KC gets the ball back. Field goal, 17-17. Buffalo six and out. Here comes Mahomes. They're going to win.

Guess what? Chiefs three and out. Atypical for them. That looked like one of those six minutes left. They're going to win the game. No. Buffalo gets the ball back. 12-play drive.

But if you look at the last seven plays they ran on the drive, they went for five yards total. They go first down, nothing. Second down, nothing. Third down, incomplete. P.I. They get the five-yard extension. Now it's 2-12 left.

Two-minute warning is coming up. Casey has two timeouts left. The Bills are up three. Run the ball. Get to the two minute warning. This is like, not rocket science. Just run the ball.

Just take a two minute warning or make the Chiefs use a timeout. Now, they throw this weird quick screen to Diggs. He drops it. Clock stops. Second down.

Oh, let's go for a long pass down the sidelines that has like a 10% chance. Now Second down. Oh, let's go for a long pass down the sidelines that has like a 10% chance. Nope. Incomplete. Oh, wait. The clock isn't even at the two-minute warning yet. Now they have to run a third play. Incomplete. Now we're at the two-minute

warning. Now they kick a field goal. And while this is all going on, every tasteless Sean McDermott 9-11 joke is just flooding Twitter just because of that crazy speech from four years ago. Yeah, he brought it on himself.

You want to give Mahomes two timeouts and two minutes left? In that seven-play stretch, Davis is wide open in the middle of the field, and Allen doesn't see him and throws it to the left, which is like the third time this year where he just completely missed Davis.

Well, that might be PTSD from last week against the Eagles when they couldn't turn the right way. So they end up only up three. The Chiefs get the ball back

with just about two minutes left and they start driving down there at midfield. Then the Tony play flips the momentum back. But if you're a Buffalo fan and you're watching that, you're like,

if we lose this game, I'm not following sports again. You lose this game on a lateral to Tony. That's how you lose in Casey after the 13 seconds game. But anyway, because the numbers were perfect and you pointed out you were all over James Cook, but that's exactly the kind of game you need at a James Cook to win.

Right. When they lose, it's because Josh Allen is doing too much and he has to turn the ball over. He fumbles, throws. I know he had an interception today, but Cook had what? 130, 141 combined yards?

That's it, man. That's the game plan. Let that ride. And he still can't beat the Chiefs, but they held on. And you can make an argument. They're the best team in the AFC, and they might not make the playoffs. Right now, they're 11th in the AFC with all the playoff tiebreakers. They're not even 8th, 9th,

or 10th. The committee will vote them in though, right? The committee will vote. They might actually. Gabe Davis, zero points, fantasy-wise. Put up a goose egg. Diggs, four for 24. And for this season, 993 yards. He's not

even at 1,000 yet. He's not at a 100-yard game since week six. And I forgot he was on the field for 30-minute stretches. Right. It's just like... And then you watch McDermott. And that 9-11 thing was honestly crazy. I know it was a couple years ago,

but I almost thought that was like an onion story. Well, that's crazy, too. It didn't come out. It was like 2019, and it came out like Tuesday. Well, and also, why did it come out? It's crazy too. It didn't come out. It was like 2019 and it came out like Tuesday. Well, and also why did it come out? It's another thing. You think like, oh, they're setting them up. So they're seven and six.

They're hanging around. And I thought they were going to win or come close. I thought it was going to be a one-score game. They had the ball for 35-24. And yet I almost feel worse about them because they're so sloppy you know and it's like this team even if they made the playoffs what are they going to do you know everything is relative what did you see in AFC that

you liked I know you didn't love the Ravens we're all calling them frauds on different text chains and everything so they didn't lose ground they didn't lose ground at all but in terms of optics I don't think they did either yeah that's Buffalo's best case. Well, what do you like? I like Miami the most, and I felt that way a week ago. And I think if they could just get

to the playoffs, I think that's the team to beat. Because if he can somehow get the one seed, which they have a really good chance, and two games at home, they're great at home, and then you play the Super Bowl in the Dome. Like, I could just... Can I tell you how worried I am that Miami is about to kill us probably on our 20th anniversary of the time they killed us on a three-team teaser on a Monday, except with a win.

Now they're going to kill us with a loss against Tennessee, who hasn't scored 30 points in two years. I think I looked it up. I'm a little worried about this teaser coming through. For the newer listeners, in 2004, we won so many straight weeks of three-team teases that I wrote a piece about it on page two, which I think made you mad.

But then we kept winning after that and everything crested with the Pats who were unbeatable that year and then ended up winning the Super Bowl. And they were the last piece on a Monday night. It was like week 15 or week 16. I can remember the uniform, everything. Yeah.

And they were up, I think they're up 10 or 11 with four minutes left and Miami scores. And then Brady, it was like a turnover touchdown or some sort of insane touchdown. And all of a sudden Miami won. And we were like, that's it? This is how the greatest gamebook streak of all time ends

with the dumbest and we still can't forget it that's it and we can't quit three team teasers either no I did a couple today

to be honest you mentioned the Ravens Rams Ravens was another really fun game I did one of these for million dollar picks a bet that I really feel like they should name after you they should call it the Sal special another really fun game. I did one of these for Million Dollar Picks. I really feel like they should name after you.

They should call it the Sal Special. Yeah. Or the Cuz Classic or something like that. You were the first one who was really kind of honed in on the first half and then the game parlay that FanDuel has. And you were doing it with the Steelers. And there was one week where it was like 11-1 or 12-1 and we hopped on it and the odds started dropping. But I had for a million dollar picks on

Thursday, Rams to win the first half, Ravens to win the game. And it was my most exciting bet of 2023. It was for three and a half hours. The first half, the Rams that needed a late field goal to get, we had to hold off the Ravens. I'm like, Oh my God, I can't believe now I still have to win the game. And it goes into overtime. And then what'd you get? Seven to one. Yeah. Plus 700.

And then I get a punt return OT to win it, which I think is the most exciting playing football for the overtime punt return touchdown. Is that the number one play most exciting? I think so. Uh, uh, in defense of the or

in honor of the great frank wycheck on the who passed away today at that that uh music yeah yeah did you notice i mean i felt like there were like three blocks in the back on that play you just saw some linemen going flying like they were riding all riding in the same wave like oh they're gonna what no flag nothing oh he already did his flip that's a touchdown 37 31 linemen going flying like they were riding all riding in the same wave. What? No flag? Nothing? Oh, he already did his flip. That's a touchdown. 37-31. Yeah, the rest had to catch like a six o'clock plane. I guess it was a clutch win for Lamar, who was

a little up and down during the game, but he had a really nice drive at the end. My big take Lamar was 24-43, 3-16, three touchdowns, one pick, and he was the leader for 70. They had about the same stats. Yeah, Stafford and Lamar was 24-43, 3-16, three touchdowns, one pick. And he was the leader for 70. They had about the same stats. Yeah. Stafford and Lamar had almost exactly the same.

My big takeaway from that game, I think the Rams are good. I really do. I thought I took the Rams plus seven half. I teased them in real life. And then I had that first half game bet, but in general, like I think their offense is legit at all those teams below the San Francisco, Dallas,

Philly clump. Um, I think they might be my favorite. Yeah. I mean, they're healthy. If you're telling me they're going to be healthy when we get to January, but I,

they can, you know, cups a star, Puka is a star. This Karen Williams is a fucking stud. He's not like But they can, you know, Cup's a star. Puka's a star. This Kieran Williams is a fucking stud. He's not like blazing fast, but he's always in the,

you know, he's always making the first guy miss. He's always falling forward and Stafford looks good and I just like their team. This team was in salary cap hell. I picked them to be

the worst in the league. I'm like, they don't care. They're rebuilding. Sean McVay heard his over-under was like six and a half, and he's like, oof, boy. And I think it was like, oof, boy. That's a little high kind of thing.

And then they had two players emerge. When do you have two offensive players emerge? Like, who can do it for the first half, and now he's still great. And then Kieran Williams, like you said, for the last six weeks. That's phenomenal. And Stafford hasn't lost a step. He came in

with like a spine injury to start the season. There was so much stacked against this team. And they're right in the thick of it. I think the problem is, I want to go over everyone's schedule. They're at San Francisco the last week. All winnable games up until then. They have to hope that doesn't mean anything for San Francisco. Well, their next three. Home

Washington, home New Orleans, at New York Giants, and then at San Francisco in a game who knows if I had to pick after you get San Francisco Philly Detroit Dallas and then the NFC South wherever that is I think my two favorites are Green Bay and the Rams and probably the Bears I think are the ones that feel like they're at least the arrows pointing up. But, you know, the Rams, one injury, maybe it falls apart.

But I just think they can move on. That's who you want in there? That's who you want to see in there? Or do you think it's the best? I just think that teams, like if you're the two seed, like if Dallas is the two seed, and it's like, congratulations, you're the two seed. You're playing the Rams. You're pausing on that one first, but that's not a thing I'd

want to see if they're healthy. We beat them up already. I know you did. Didn't you beat them up with Brett Rippon though? Was it the full Rams team? Yes. So you're saying get the Vikings out of there is basically what you're saying, right? Vikings and Seattle go away. I would say

Vikings, Seattle, and any two of the NFC South teams. Oh, yeah. Oh, they have to. Those two. Yeah, those teams have to go. But, yeah, the Vikings are,

like I said, Dobbs not only, he almost killed Justin Jefferson was another thing. So, yeah, they had to take him out. That was one of the

hardest hits of the year that wasn't to the head. That was like an immediate, oh, no. NFC South, we have a three-way six and seven time tie. We have the NFC South that we deserve.

This is why you hate this division with every part of your body. Today we had the Panther Saints where Cargo's 26 attempts for 110 yards. I was going against him in one of

my fantasy leagues. It was like the third quarter and he was minus 0.15. And it was the second half of the game. At one point, it was 12 for 17 for 37 yards. And I watched with our friend Brad. He went nuts. That's like for a pro, you don't... That's like Air Force

numbers or something. You don't ever see that. 207 like, for a pro, you don't, that's like Air Force numbers or something. You don't ever see that. 207 yards total for them and they won by 20 because the Panthers' offense is so bad and we don't even talk about them. Meanwhile, Bucks-Falcons was a much better game.

And once again, Atlanta played a game that came down to the very end. Are you crying? Ritter, I had a hiccup. Ritter threw for 347 but made the one dumb mistake that he always makes. But Mayfield, who sucked all game,

and then he put together a nice drive and ends up winning the game. Mayfield now is 6-7. He's thrown for 2,790 yards. He's got 18 touchdowns and 8 picks. I don't think he's going to win Comeback Player of the Year, but this was a guy who got waived a year ago. Yeah. He's on the money.

You pointed out a couple weeks ago, there's going to always be that play to Mike Evans, and Mike Evans was barely out of bounds. Yeah, he was furious at it, and I like that part of it, too, that they're mad that they're not getting it done. Yeah, look, you, me, House, we have that Saints to win the NFC South. We put a substantial amount of money on it. And House is on Ringer Wiseguys.

House is on Ringer Wiseguys this morning picking the Falcons. I said, House, we have to. Oh, no, he picked the Panthers. I said, we have to root for the Saints at some point. We have this bet. We have to root for the Saints at some point. We have this bet. We have to. And so it worked out for us today, except I think the best team in that division

is in the four spot, is in the driver's seat in that division right now. Buccaneers, six and seven. Best team almost by default. They seem like they're probably the relatively healthiest of the group. But really, really strange. And then you go on the AFC side

where we have this 7-6 logjam that we mentioned earlier. And one of the teams that really blew it today was the Texans. Yeah. They lose to the Jets. Now, I watched Ringer Wiseguys this morning and House got me excited for a jets underdog parlay with,

and then somebody else like the Broncos that I put them together. It was five to one. So I ended up jumping in on that. I thought it was a rat line. I thought that nobody should give the jets three points, only three points. I don't care where the game is being played. Yeah.

I like the jets to at least cover just cause I felt like Houston didn't have tank Dell who isn't like a household name, but if you watch the Texans on Sundays, like he makes two giant plays a game. And they didn't have Schultz either. And then you look at the Jets, some of their past defense stats,

like they're kind of a nightmare to throw against. Like nobody can do it. So it was like, well, how are the Texans? Then it's like pouring rain. By the way, 20, maybe 25,000 people at that game,

should they go on some sort of watch list? What do you mean? You're driving in New Jersey to watch the Texans play the Jets in the pouring rain. I just feel like we should get everybody's ideas for that. Just put that in some sort of database. We should just follow some of these people. Yeah, fireman edge of being a straight jacket at this point.

I just don't understand it. Well, why did they... The only thing that bothered me about picking the Jets, I like that in that spot too, but I stayed away. I thought it was a rat. We rarely get a glimpse

inside the clubhouse, except if you believe to be true what happened this week with Zach Wilson basically saying, I don't know if I want to be quarterback of this team. Right.

Wow, that's pretty freaking telling. Like if you were asking Harrison to do something and he wasn't sure. Harrison's nine. Zach Wilson's like 24 years old. Yeah, right. I don't know if I believe that. I just feel like you can't be a professional athlete.

I got to say, he was pretty good in the game. Sure. I thought that was one of the better Zach Wilson games. Especially in the second half, he came on. He's certainly better than any Patriot quarterback has looked this year. Houston had 10 first downs and 135 yards total

and gave up five sacks, and it felt worse than that. The other team that really blew it and is probably done for the year is the Chargers. Oh, yeah. Herbert hurts his finger, but they're officially done. Well, I think their coach is officially. It might be in a few hours. Yeah.

I think so. I mean, that's four weeks ago. Would have made more sense, yeah, a month ago. And now, I don't know if they're letting him stick around for the Easton Stick era. Easton Stick takes him through the last four games. I'm going to double down on my Justin Herbert shtick, which I've enjoyed all year.

How he's the nerd hero and the results aren't actually there. Justin Herbert, now 30 and 32 for his career. I was thinking if he was a wrestler, his nickname could be Justin 500. Here he is, Justin 500. He's just a 500 quarterback. He's a 62-game sample size at this point. Kyle, turn the TikTok camera on.

Oh. If you're the Chargers, would you trade Justin Herbert for the first pick in the draft? I think I might. I think I might. Because I think, think well the problem is you talk about draft stock going up or down

this year Fields went up Herbert's went way down Herbert was a top 5 quarterback do you put him in the top 10? in fantasy do you draft him in the top 12 rounds

in a snake draft I think he became unstartable three weeks ago but I mean he lost Mike Williams their offensive line got decimated

he's got a terrible coaching staff. He's got no home field advantage. I was just thinking if, like Chicago is the first pick from Carolina and they're deciding, do we keep fields? Do we take Caleb Williams?

And then the Chargers call. Let's do your team. Let's do the Patriots. Do you do it? No, but let's say the Chargers call and say, we'll trade your Herbert right now for the first pick.

Yeah. But you have five hours to decide because we don't want it to leak. And I'm the Chargers like, is Caleb Williams going to be better than what Justin Herbert theoretically is right now? Hmm. Well, what are you worried about if you're the Chargers losing fans? You're like, yeah, do it.

That's the thing. That's part of what I thought about. Like he he's, yeah, do it. That's the thing. That's fine. That's part of what I thought about. Like he he's, we live in LA. He's had no impact on LA at all whatsoever, even though he's a top seven quarterback. And if they got Caleb Williams, or at least you went to USC and maybe that's somebody you can sell better. You get, you know, Herbert's already on his next contract. I guess that would make the trade that have some dead cap. And I, I understand like, it's not like basketball, but I did wonder like if you're the Chargers, would you rather just reboot and turn him If you had Justin Herbert and he was an LA owner, which he was, I don't know how he screwed that up,

I think he would send them off. Like, yeah, we need new blood in there. Well, the reason I thought of it was because I was wondering if the Pats got the second pick and the Chargers had Drake May, would they call the Pats? Like, what do you think? Right. Would the Pats do it?

Would Belichick jump in? I would talk myself. All the Pats do it? Would Belichick like jump in? I would talk myself, all the Justin 500 jokes. It's like, the Patriot map, Justin, I'm like, I'm in, baby.

You look at the advanced stats. This guy's unbelievable. Watch the 22-man tape. Great decisions. I would flip so fast. Of course you would. Because you have max 230. I don't know if I did the winning percentage right.

I might be close. No, no, it's less than that. It's 178. Can we bring in Cerruti for a tiebreaker on this? Yeah, let's do it. Cerruti, the Chargers call the Bears, and they say you have five hours to decide Herbert for the number one pick. Is this a realistic scenario or do we sound insane?

I think you're insane. I think you're insane. Because Herbert, these two guys, May and especially Caleb's draft stock have gone down. They're not sure things. Herbert, I think there's a lot of guys that can unlock him and figure this thing out. So I think you're insane.

Okay. Kellen Moore was supposed to make him better. I know there's a lot of other stuff going on around him. Yeah, he can't overcome Brandon Staley. He can't. I don't know if anybody can. All right. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Cerruti. I think Cerruti is right, but I think you still have the meeting and then you say, you know what?

We'll bring in a new coach. Let's look at this. It's worth a meeting. Let's look at this. Mike Williams will be back. We'll use our top seven pick on another right tackle or another good receiver. One of the problems is it seems like they missed on Quentin Johnson.

They spent their first pick on a receiver. It doesn't do anything. I think this was his first decent game, wasn't it? I'm not even sure. What did he do? Because I think I sat him and miraculously I still have him in a league. Is is part of this they feel bad because the doctor almost killed him

a few years ago? No, the doctor almost killed Tyrod Taylor. Oh, Tyrod Taylor, that's right. The doctor killed Tyrod Taylor so Justin Herbert could play. Interesting. That was a story I heard. I don't know if it's true. Well, two more questions, but let's take a break.

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Zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. Two leftover things for today. Jake Browning's last two weeks, he's 50 for 61 with 629 yards, three touchdowns at a pick and looks

like really competent. Is him being this year's Purdy at least in play? Can we at least open the door for that to be a possibility or you're not ready yet? Yeah, of course, because of the weapons, I think. And they have another Chase who I didn't even know about. Chase Brown. That's not Jamar Chase. That's Chase Brown,

three receptions, 80 yards, and a touchdown. But yeah, the foundation's there offensively, right? Chase Brown, who had a twin brother playing in the Cowboys singles game, who I didn't know about. Yeah. Isn't that great? Yeah. So there you go. Yeah. I think this guy, I mean, this is another one, another weird seven seed that I think I'd be excited about as a fan. Yeah, I'm with you. So right now it's Cleveland at eight and five. They're the five seed. And then we got the way the playoffs shake out.

It's Pittsburgh and Indianapolis. We get the six and seven because of all the dumb tiebreakers. Houston, Denver, Cincy, Buffalo behind them. If the AFC playoffs started today, it would be Miami versus the Indianapolis, Kansas City versus Pittsburgh, and Jacksonville versus Cleveland. My guess is there is no chance in hell Pittsburgh will end up being one of the seven playoff teams with Mitch Trubisky. There's no chance. It's a miracle that that team seven and six crossed them off. Probably cross

Indy off too. Well, they play each other. They play each other this week. So that, we could call that Yeah,

that'll make that easy. And then, Cleveland, Buffalo, Cincy, Denver, three of those four. You have Houston in there.

You have Houston in there? I'm taking Houston out. I don't think they have it. Yeah, and I think that Tank Dell thing was a deal breaker for them. And they, you know, they were kind of the good-bad team to some degree.

Denver's the team. Denver's come on strong. Yeah, so Houston's got Tennessee, home Cleveland, Tennessee again, and Indianapolis. Denver, though, at Detroit, perfect time to catch them. Home New England, home Chargers at Vegas. I could see them winning all of those.

Yeah. Again, the Chargers with an interim coach probably tanking. And how long is Herbert out? Do we know? I don't think they know. It's a finger injury, right? And now, from Southern California, Justin 500. Justin 500.

What is he doing? He's retreating. He's retreating. He took himself out of bounds for no reason. He won last week, which means he has to lose this week because he is Justin 500. Well, for a Well, they had for a while, they had no touchdown for two weeks, right? It looked like it was

going to be. Yeah. Cincy's schedule is kind of enticing where they got the home Minnesota at Pittsburgh for the next two. So Cincy could be nine and six heading into at KC in week 17, which is no longer a daunting game. It's like, oh no, I got to play at Kansas City.

Great. And I think 20 teams in the league could go in there and have that be a three-point game with five minutes left. And what's great and terrible about this year is that last game, week 18, they play the Browns, and it's going to be, Browns are going to be on their third quarterback, which we like Flacco, I think.

And Bengals are going to be on their second. And it could mean something to both. I was thinking with the Norths, we were talking about how fun the Norths are. The AFC North, we've had, how many Cleveland starting quarterbacks at this point? Flacco. This year?

Yeah. DTR. DTR. PJ Walker. DST. PJ Walker. Watson. And then Deshaun.

They've had four starting quarterbacks, right? Pittsburgh's had two. Baltimore's had one. And then Cincinnati's had two. They've had nine starting quarterbacks. But the NFC South, Atlanta's had two. New Orleans has had two or three.

At least two, maybe three. Did Taysom ever start a game? I don't think he really starts, no. So there's two. Carolina started Dalton that week, so they've had two. And the only one who's played the whole year is Baker. So between those two divisions, we've had 16 starting quarterbacks,

plus Taysom Hill. And nine, I wonder what, back to the AFC North, nine starting quarterbacks, if three made the playoffs, they won't. But if three made the playoffs, that would be spectacular. That could never have happened before

with nine starting quarterbacks. I think three are probably going to make the playoffs, they won't. But if three made the playoffs, that would be spectacular. That could never have happened before with nine starting I think three are probably going to make the playoffs. No. Oh, but not the Steelers. No Steelers. Yeah, I think the other three might make it. I'm excited. Because Buffalo, I just don't see Buffalo.

They're home for your team this week at the Chargers, home New England at Miami. That feels like two losses. That puts them at nine and eight. I don't know if that's good enough. I can't believe we're saying. And they lose tiebreakers. Yeah.

Like any of these other teams went into Kansas City. We're like, yeah, they're going to lose. All these teams we're talking about. We knew the bills would make this close. The only other one we didn't mention was the Browns, which Flacco, can you win comeback player of the year if you haven't been good for five years? What's the ruling on that?

Does he retroactively win the 2019 comeback player of the year? That's 2023. How do you do that? And why is he better than he was five years ago? I don't know why. It doesn't make any sense. Like, they don't have anyone really better. It'd be one case if, like,

P.J. Walker was dropped, right? If DTR, either of those guys were good scramblers in the pocket. I didn't see that out of them. It was such a no-brainer, leaving Flacco in, who has connections with these receivers. I saw a trend. A lot of the trends I read don't matter. He was, like, 9-1 against the spread

in Cleveland. And I was like, oh, that matters. I don a trend. A lot of the trends I read don't matter. He was like 9-1 against the spread in Cleveland. And I was like, that matters. I don't care if that was a decade ago. That's pretty good. He's a little bit scary. I wouldn't want to see him in the playoffs. I watched the whole game because I had the Browns. I had the Browns minus $3 million

picks and then I had the lower lines for everything else. There were four throws where there was just a guy wide open and he threw a grounder, he sailed it over their head. It was probably like one a quarter. But other than that, he was pretty good. They had that great fourth and three throw for the touchdown

and the whole team was so fired up. It seems like the team loves him, which is half the battle with this stuff. I don't know. That was one of my favorite picks because I thought that defense would chase down Trevor Lawrence. They had some offensive line issues. Then the offensive line issues got worse as the game went along. And yet Jacksonville still almost covered. I was excited.

I locked that bet in Friday and so did you probably at minus three. I was excited when it went to one and a half with the starter, Lawrence. Right. Jags are down 10. Browns kick a field goal. There's like a minute 50 left, something like that. And the Browns are driving.

They can't get the last first down field goal. And I'm like, motherfucker. I'm having this great million dollar picks day. Here come the Jags. They're going to get the touchdown and cut it to three and I'm like, motherfucker, I'm having like this great million dollar picks day. Here come the Jags. They're going to get the touchdown to cut it to three and I'm going to push. What happens? YouTube TV. I love YouTube TV.

They've been a great partner. LA here. They switched to the Chargers game. I'm like, all right, I'll just put it on YouTube TV, but it's blacked out on YouTube TV. The game's gone. There's no more Browns game. Yep. I'm like, all right, I'll just put it on YouTube TV, but it's blacked out on YouTube TV. The game's gone. There's no more Browns game. And now I'm on ESPN Gamecast and I have Red Zone up,

hoping Red Zone's going to show it. But at the same time, Rams Ravens is playing. So Red Zone's just showing that. They don't care that the Jags are driving for a cover. This is why they need a gambling channel. I'll do you one worse. I had the same problem. I went to ESPN.

The Jaguars had scored, but it showed that they had the ball at the 13 with a minute 47 left down four. I was like, oh shit, what the hell? But they hadn't kicked off yet, right? So I was like, oh. Meanwhile, they did some dumb things too, right? They went for two. I don't care what analytics

says anymore, but they're going for two when they score down 14 and then they're stuck going for two the other way. I'm glad because we covered because of it, but we'll take that. But go ahead, take it away for the rest. Well, they score a touchdown. I think I'm fourth down

and it's now a four-point game and they're going to kick the PAT and go for the onside think I'm fourth down. And it's now a four-point game. And they're going to kick the PAT and go for the onside. I'm like, I can't believe I pushed. I had that game perfect. All of a sudden, Lawrence is still on the field. They're showing it on red zone. Why is he out there? Now they're going for two. I'm like, oh my

God, I might lose this Browns by this three. And then they sack Lawrence. They don't get it. And it's a W. And this tied into the day I had today, which was the, I, you know, Caddyshack, a movie that came out 43 years ago, but it has that scene when the Bishop decides to play Bill Murray is the caddy. It's pouring rain. It's like, should we play another nine? And Bill Murray is like, I don't think the hard stuff coming out for a while. And the Bishop's just making everything. And then he gets struck

by lightning and dies. This was me today with my picks. I literally won everything. I won every million dollar pick. I won every bet in real life. We're in a picks pool that right now I'm 13-0 in the picks pool. The ZFL, Gus has,

nobody's ever gone undefeated for a week. Now I'm going tomorrow, which i think i'm going to stay with i'm not i'm not going to change my picks but i what do i got to know what you have well i've i've gone back and forth doing green bay and the giants all week and i'm kind of leaning toward the giants plus six and a half yeah do it and then uh and then the other one i was just going to lay the points with miami But that Miami-Tennessee line sucks. It's like 13 or 14, whatever it is.

I had a... I told... I have a chance to go undefeated. I've been bragging about you to everybody going 13-0. And by the way, if this were the week where they had six buys, you would have been done. You would have been good, right? Right. 13-0.

Some of these two-man in eight games. But if you would put $100 on the 13 picks by the regular spread, you would have won $447,000. Brother Bright figured this out for us. You would have been rich man. You would have had $447,000. Here's what happened. I still won $447,000.

What? That's how much. No. Million dollar picks. Yeah. No, no. Million dollar picks, I won almost $2 million. Oh, all right.

I hit that crazy bills parlay for 11-1, the James Cook one. And then the Rams-Ravens line, that one, it was just one of those days. It was like, I mean, how many weeks do we do this where we're like, it could have been a great day, but then that thing happened. The terrible thing never happened. We have to find out. terrible thing never happened. We have to find out. It's too early. We have to find out how much it costs Fandle. You gave out an 11-1 same game parlay

to America? Yeah, I did. That's $4 million. I did. You think? $4 million. Didn't you do one that was $2 million? That was far less odds? It was the most fun. I had such a good time today.

And it made me remember why we like doing this. It brought me back to our roots, the early days when we were winning stuff. It's great. I knew you had the Cowboys tonight to make it 13-0. I'm like, oh, he's going to be mad at me. They're going to win by three and you're going to be pissed off. No, I wasn't worried about the Cowboys. You had all the stats in your favor for that one. It just felt

like a perfect matchup. Tomorrow, that Giants, I'm with you. I'm kind of, it just feels like that line's too high. They look too good, Jordan Love. Big Barkley game I think tomorrow. It feels like that should be Packers by three and a half. Right now, at least

in our league, it's six. Anyway, it was wonderful. i had a great time you know what's out i put the work in i hit rock bottom about five weeks ago and i just you know you can either you can roll over or you can roll your sleeves up and get to work and that's what happened i mean i think the the excitement of the in-season tournament really just uh rolled all you let it wash over you and i think that's what it was footballseason tournament really just rolled over. Let it wash over you. I think that's what it was. This is Justin Herbert. Someday

he's not going to be Justin 500. He's going to be Justin Herbert again. And he's going to get this. Alright, let's do guess the lines. Thursday's game is bizarre. You think they'd fire Brandon Staley before this Thursday game? Oh, I forgot it was a Thursday game. You're right.

Don't they wait? Yeah, they must have plans. You think Brandon's like, hey, could you guys fire me now? I know, I want one more week. I mean, he could get his Christmas shopping done. Do you want to get fired in Vegas? Like if he got fired after the game, what city would you want to get fired in? London or Vegas?

Well, what kind of, do you want to be like super sad? Because if I'm like super sad, I'd want to be in like Cleveland. Is that where you are? Let's say you're single. You don't have to go straight home. You probably do anyway. But so you just want to roll with the sadness in Cleveland. I'd want to be fired in LA so I could be in my own house.

Okay. Yeah, but you have a house in so I could be in my own house. Okay. Yeah, but you have a house in the 18 cities. You can choose whatever you want. Well, one of those houses would be great. The Raiders are home. Somehow, even though they played a game that they lost 3-0, that was only the third game in the last 60 years,

it was 0-0 with under three minutes left. I think they have to be favored if Herbert doesn't play. Herbert's not playing, right? I'll tell you the line suggests he's not playing. Okay. I have Raiders favored by one and a half. Tick-tock. I said two and it's three.

Healthy three there. As bad as they were. Let me ask you this. Is this the first home field advantage the Chargers have? Have you been to that Raiders stadium? Everybody goes, although Thursday night's a little weird, I guess. I feel like they could have a lot of fans there, Chargers. You think the Chargers would have fans there?

The Chargers don't have fans at their own games. I know. They have a chance here. Because no Raiders fans show up to those games. It's weird. I think this is an empty. I think this is like a sad, maybe 35,000 seats kind of game. Sunday's marquee game.

Your team's involved. Playing at Buffalo. Were you going to skip the Saturday? You know there's three Saturday games, right? Oh, boy. Oh, man. I have that in there. I didn't realize it was Saturday.

Oh, no. Three Saturdays. Jesus. Well, tell me what the games are and I'll just... All right. Starting off. I mean, this is where we get in trouble with the spouses, right? We should be shopping.

Thank God for online shopping. I forgot about the Saturday games. We called this Don't Get Divorced Saturday. Exactly. That was the running joke from 15 years ago. Yeah, yeah. Every divorce begins with Saturday football. Yeah, I think so.

That's it. But every game is good. We have five, seven, and six teams and a nine and four team. Minnesota at Cincinnati starts it off. Minnesota at Cincinnati starts it off. Minnesota at Cincinnati. I had that in the fairly watchables initially. Pretty good one.

That's going to be Jake. What's his name? Jake Browning. Browning against Kellen. What's his name? The guy. Beathard. Which crappy quarterback?

This is like the TNT show where it's like who you play for. Which crappy quarterback are you? Nick Mullins. It's Nick Mullins. I thought it was Beathard. Oh, man.

Wrong division. I have Bengals by two and a half over the Vikings. I get this one too. I said four. It by two and a half over the Vikings I get this one too I said four it's three and a half yeah it's a lot of respect for Jake Browning yeah did you see Burrow got his family

a sweet treated him I saw that yeah yeah it's emotional great stuff wait they cut away to Jake Browning's lady is that his wife? Yeah, that was the thing on social today. What perverts at CBS.

My God. They really went for it. They gave her a long camera look. We're going to get someone to watch this game. What's the second one? The second one is a 430 kick I think Eastern Pittsburgh at Indianapolis and I think we could call this Los a 430 kick, I think, Eastern Pittsburgh at Indianapolis. And I think we could call this loser leaves town,

I think, at this point. Jesus. I was way off on this. I had the Colts favorite. I have Colts by one and a half. You get it. I had the Steelers favorite. I thought, like, FanDuel Vegas is in love with them.

It's Colts by three, so you get it. I wonder if last week broke the Steelers because not only is Trubisky just a non-starter, you know, their new offensive coordinator isn't any better than their old one. Some of the clock management stuff was egregious. And then on top of it, the whole karma thing with TJ Watt,

where he clearly got concussed and then they threw him back out there. And at one point he had tinted shield on his helmet because the lights were bothering him. It's like, what the fuck? Is this 1971? What are you guys doing?

So karma wise, I don't like, I don't like this for them. When Trubisky went back to pass on fourth and two, down 21-18 and threw a bomb that he probably hadn't completed since like Pop Water. Did you even wait for it to drop or did you just turn around

and celebrate? Good question. First of all, third and two, they didn't run the ball before the two-minute warning, which I just was stupefied by sitting in my seat watching the Laker game. And then the fourth and two, as soon as I saw the blitz, I was like, oh my God, the Pats won. Because what if they had

Trubisky was going to do anything against that? No way. He's just sending eight guys against him every time. There's no chance. So he did the, just throw it up for grabs

and it was awful. When you talk about Justin Herbert, maybe he could be good like on that team, right? I feel like they have weapons that he could,

that he could elevate. I don't know. Yeah, maybe everyone's right. We've seen shocking QB trades before. You know, like when Cutler got traded, that was kind of a bomb. Remember? Yeah, right. I'd like to see him early, though. I don't want to like Matt Ryan

going to the Colt. You know what I mean? I'd like to see an early one. Yeah. Third one is a night game is a kick of 815 p.m. Kick Eastern Denver at Detroit Denver seven and six Detroit

nine and four. Oh, I had this in the watchables. Yeah, we'll definitely have to watch it. Yeah, it's a huge game. So I I made picks before

all the games today and this is the one that, no, I changed. I did a second round after the late games and this was the line that moved the most for me. I have Detroit. Yeah. Yeah. I have lions now by minus three and a half. That's what I had.

It's four and a half. Hmm. Initially I had it at six and then they stunk again today, so I changed it. I love the Saturday games. I really do. I think we were robbed this week. I really think the NFL has to run their schedule by us

before they spit it out. Why do we have two Monday games? That Dolphins game could have been a Saturday game. We were stuck with that crap Army-Navy. Let's put that on, or at night, or whatever. Yeah, they're like afraid of the army navy game but i had a lot of tv sports issues this week because the nba they have the one game last night right okay cool i get it you want to focus everyone's attention on

this one game no games today oh we play one game in two days? What the fuck is going on? And then you're going to, three weeks later, you're going to have teams playing five games in seven nights? Like, play games tonight. And then there's 13 games tomorrow.

Like, I have no idea why they don't have games today. Well, they want, they think you're a communist if you're watching basketball versus football. So they just want to help people out by not having that option.

It was a bizarre sports weekend because the Otani thing dropped right when there was no sports stuff going on at all other than Army-Navy. And that was a whole reporting fiasco over the weekend. Somebody was saying he was going to the Blue Jays. Turned out he had no chance of even, he was in Orange County.

I tweeted this. I was pumped that he went to the Dodgers. I want to see him in the playoffs. That's the whole point of having somebody like Otani. I want to see him in October. So now at least we know he's going to be in October. They're probably not winning the World Series in the Dodgers because they lose every year,

but at least we'll see him. I like it. I'm trying to think of like, we'll see him, we'll see him on TV. But if we want to go to the game, it takes two and a half hours to get out of that lot. So could it be much worse? Sure.

Yes, it will. Well, not with the $500 million gondola they're doing. Oh, right. Worst idea of all time. Does that go to Vegas? It was supposed to be 125 million. Now it's 500 million. But there's a story I'm saying for the listeners. They're

putting this gondola, almost like a ski lift type situation where you park in East LA and then you ride the gondola and it drops you off right at Dodger Stadium. This has the potential for more horrible things to happen than I think just about anything. People dangling from the gondolas, people shitting in the gondolas, people trying to live in one of the gondolas. I just can't see how this is ever going to work. And it costs us 500 million. Yeah. Yeah. I think we're in trouble. I don't know. Maybe spend that on the roads. Justin Herbert can't get out in time.

500 million for the gondolas and Justin 500. For watchable, I only have one. And this is, I had to squeeze this one in. Packers-Bucks. Just feels like a fun game. There's real playoff stakes.

It's in Green Bay. And I have the Packers favored by four. Ooh. All right, you get it. I said two. It's three and a half. Yeah, this is the problem with three competitive Saturday games, right? Now we're kind of

left with junk in that early Sunday window. This is the only decent one. Maybe Sunday is the day to spend some time with the family. Yeah, you might be right. So three and a half for that, huh? Okay. Basketball game Sunday.

I had Guest Alliance PTSD when I saw this next one, so I put it in the So three and a half for that, huh? Okay. I'll throw a basketball game Sunday. I had Guest Alliance PTSD when I saw this next one, so I put it in the fairly watchables. But I just saw Chiefs at Pats. I got excited for a split second. I was like, oh, wait, we're terrible. I have Chiefs by seven and a half against the Pats. Fandle agrees you're terrible because I had eight.

It's nine and a half. Oh, they just don't want us to tease it. That's why. I should have known that. We will. We're going to do it. Should the Chiefs be favored by nine and a half over anyone in the league? Just this team.

I don't know. My team has a good defense. My team, every week, it's really hard to move the ball against us. Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to think how many points you score. Because you scored zero against us. But how many points are the Chiefs going to score?

Are they going to score more than 20? 20 might be enough, right? 20 to 10 gets you right on that number. Yeah, maybe. Next one for Fairly Watchable is Browns Bears. This arguably could have been a watchables. Browns-Bears. This arguably could have been a watchable. It's in Cleveland. Flacco is named the starter for the rest of the year.

Congrats to him. Justin Fields, the type of quarterback that if you're playing a fast defense, you would want because he can actually get out of trouble, unlike Trevor Lawrence on a high ankle sprain. I have the Browns favored by three and a half. I said the same thing. It's three. And it's funny.

I had this as an automatic win for the Browns and only a three-point favorite. Like weeks ago when we were looking at the schedule, I'm like, oh, they'll get to 10 wins. They still have the Bears. Three-point favorite. 49ers at the Cardinals is the next one. It's just hard to think the 49ers shouldn't Cardinals is the next one. It's just hard to think

that 49ers shouldn't be favored by single digits over any team. And yet 12.5 seems too high. I'm going to say 49ers by 11. Oh, I had 11.5. It's 13.5. Oh my God.

That's too high. Would they beat them by... They were decent in that game, Arizona. They lost by 19 the first time they played. There's cheap touchdown potential. That's too high. They don't want you to put them in a 13 teams. Yeah.

It's Kyle O'Murray now. I forget. Oof. The poopfecta has five teams, according to my list, starting with Dolphins, Jets. So this is in Miami. I don't know what happened with the Dolphins schedule during this stretch, but it's really iconic.

I just am using the calculus of what the line was this week with Tennessee, which has been between 13 and 14. I'm going to say Dolphins by 13.5. That's a smart way to do it. I said 10.5. It is 12.5, so you get it. Is this Black Sunday?

They beat them on Black Friday 34-13. Have they gotten better? I guess the Jets have gotten better now. Tim Boyle starting the Black Friday game and one other game and then getting waived was like an underrated part of the season. Right. I really enjoyed that.

Next one is Texans at the Titans. Man, if this can't get the Texans going, I don't know what will, but I put this in the Tic Tacs zone. Texans, one and a half. Texans, one and a half, right? Yeah. You still get it. I said Texans, two and a half. Let me check this. Tennessee

is one and a half. Come on. Let me check this, though. Does that mean they don't think Stroud's going to play? Yeah, Tennessee, one and a half. Come on. Let me check this though. Does that mean they don't think Stroud's going to play? Yeah, Tennessee one and a half. Oh, that must be. It must be. And they play again in a couple weeks, but

Tennessee one and a half, 37 and a half. No, over-under's high enough that it would suggest Stroud's playing. Hmm. Next one, Saints-Giants. I just used what the line was today at the Panthers game in Carolina. And even though it's in New Orleans,

I said Saints by five and a half over the Giants. That's cheating, using today's lines. I didn't even think of that. I thought it was four and a half. It's six. You get that. Seven to six. You're up seven, six with a few left.

I'd love to know why they played Derek Carr. I'd really love to know. I honestly don't know the answer because I watched We Bet the Stupid Saints to win the division. So I feel like I'm obligated to monitor their games. And I don't understand why he plays. I don't understand why he's worse than Jameis.

That guy's open. Lave's open. Come on, just hit him. Just connect with that pass. I feel like they're giving the Panthers this, like, all right, Panthers, we know you suck, but we're going to start a quarterback that's had probably two concussions

in the last four weeks. And a whole bunch of other injuries. Yeah, and they still killed him. I don't get it. Next one, Falcons at the Panthers. So I did it again. I used this week's line as a logic. Carolina was favored by getting five and a half

against the Saints today, and the Saints and the Falcons are equal. So I'm going to say Falcons by five and a half at Carolina. Well, I didn't even use that logic. I came up with the same number. It's three. Falcons by three. Did you guess that correct or you guessed five and a half? Yeah, we both had five

and a half. Falcons by three? Yeah. And they beat them already 24-10. That's my rat line. Oh, that is the rattiest rat line of the day. Yeah. Why isn't that line at least four and a half? I have no idea.

I mean, Atlanta is in a 12-10 game in the fourth quarter or late third quarter every single week. Every single week. So maybe that's it. Maybe they don't, you know. I was going to make a case today that Ritter is the worst starting quarterback in a division winner for division winner in years, but I didn't have the energy to go through it. And they hopefully won't win the division.

He throws a nice deep ball and he can run around like he's, he's one of those. It's like having a dinner that looks good when it's on the plate and then you eat it and it's not that good. It's like, oh, my wife made chicken and broccoli and mashed potatoes. I, oh, this sounds, that looks good when it's on the plate and then you eat it and it's not that good. It's like, oh, my wife made chicken and broccoli and mashed potatoes. I was like, oh, this sounds delicious. And then it's not good and it's like, oh, they were instant mashed potatoes and the chicken's freezer burned. I'm

sorry. On paper, it seems like he should be good. And all of his weapons seem like they should be good. Kyle Pitts seems like he should be good. Algier seems like he should be good. And Algier seems like he should be a batter. London had a good game. Bichon is super exciting.

London was awesome today. I was on my bench in every fantasy team I had. He's a really bad red zone quarterback, isn't he? I feel like as soon as the field changes colors, he gets terrified. If there was a league where you didn't have to score, but you just got points for anything you did

between the 20-yard lines, he would be the best quarterback in the league. Yeah, the Patriots started that league. They're the only ones in it. Rams home for Washington. I'm teasing the Rams. I'm just telling you now. I have Rams by six and a half against

Washington. Oh, shit. I had five and a half. It is, in fact, six and a half. You get it. I'm teasing them. Damn. Telling you right now. I'm teasing the Rams.

I might even do it tomorrow morning. Now, the commanders screw us every year from weeks 14 to 18 or 17, whatever. You don't think they have another one in them? No. Robot Ron is like, he's already packed up his office. That's it? 14 to 18 or 17, whatever. You don't think they have another one in them? No. Robot Ron is like, he's already packed up his office. That's it?

He has his printer and a computer, and I don't even think the coffee machine's there anymore. Interesting. All his posters are down. He's done. He's out. All right. Nothing left.

They should be able to pressure Howell too, which is an issue. Somebody went in his office the other day and said, Ron, can I borrow some scotch tape? He said, I don't have anything. They just took all my stuff out already. He brought it home? Are there Washington fans at this game? You don't care.

At a Rams game? Yeah. Why would any Washington fan want to see this team in any location? Because it's not cold. They don't have to go if you're from the D.C. area, you don't think House would be losing this game? I would want them to get a good pick. Oh, all right.

I forget that you're all on a crazy wavelength. I mean, Sam Howell's fine. You're so much better than us. You go at least 8-8 every year. You don't know what it's like to have a bad team. That's right. You're always good. Jerry Jones is my owner.

That's right. You do a good impression. Everyone compliments me on my impression of you. That was pretty damn good. You're doing me there. Sunday night. We're in Jacksonville. But there's one more,

isn't it? Did you miss a Dallas Buffalo? It probably wasn't up when you looked at it. Oh, cause we jumped to Saturday and I didn't do the Sunday marquee. Yeah, yeah. All right. All right.

Sunday marquee. Yeah, we jumped around. I screwed up. Bad job hosting my own podcast. This is in Dallas. Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's in Buffalo. But I have Dallas favored.

I have in the Tic Tac Zone. I have Dallas by minus one and a half. I had Dallas by one and it's Buffalo one and a half. Oh. I can't get a feel of how Fandle treats in Vegas. Buffalo. I don't get it. Oh my. I already

have my tease. I'm betting it tonight. Dallas? Seven and a half? Dallas and the Rams. Cash that in. Be careful. Be careful of what? This Dallas thing. Be careful. Be careful of what? This Dallas thing. Be careful. Dallas thing what? What do you want me to say?

They get up for the Eagles. They're mad. They're pissed off they lost to them. They hate that team. Buffalo's not blowing out anybody. It's 9-8. I can get you in a 7.5? With two left.

You're up. You're crazy. You were making Super Bowl plans. I know. Now you're worried about Buffalo? I was not making... I still say we're a five seed. But seven and a half, you should be okay.

Sunday night, Ravens at Jags. And I'm putting this in the tic-tac zone. It's a tic-tac game if I've ever seen one. Ravens minus one and a half. Ooh, we are tied. I said twotac zone. It's a tic-tac game if I've ever seen one. Ravens minus one and a half. Ooh, we are tied. I said two and a half. It's three and a half. Ah, that's too high.

That's stupid. I like this. I'm off a half a point with this Monday game. By the way, real quick, this Jacksonville thing with everybody coming back with the high ankle sprain, which is supposed to knock you out for like three weeks, are the other quarterbacks pissed at Mahomes and Trevor Lawrence? Like, hey,

we're supposed to have three weeks off from this injury. Why are you idiots fine by like Tuesday night? This was our secret. How about this? I'll go further. I don't think it was a full-fledged high ankle sprain. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. If I broke my leg, you'd be like, oh, he broke his leg. He's out for whatever. I guess. Like if I broke my leg, it'd be like, oh, he broke his leg. He's out for whatever. I always thought high ankle sprain was just cut and dry.

You have a high ankle sprain, you're not going to be able to walk for a couple of weeks. You're a walking boot. Every highlight is of you entering and leaving the stadium with a walking boot. No equipment that they have right now

is good enough to just turn a high ankle sprain around like that if it's a true high ankle sprain. So I think they should call it just turn a high ankle sprain around like that if it's a true high ankle sprain. So I think they should call it like a semi-high ankle sprain or something. They need to rename that. Can you stop licking yourself, please? Thank you.

That's our producer, Murph. He's just going down on himself. That would make me uncomfortable, Murph. Murph, he's got one more game to pick and he has a half a point margin here. Otherwise, he's going to lose. Oh, I'm getting this, though. Monday night, Eagles at Seattle.

Do I have to hit this exact? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. If you're off by a half, we tie. If you hit it exact, you win. Eagles minus 2.5. Oh, not close. I you hit an exact, you win. Eagles minus two and a half. Oh, not close. I said four. It's four and a half.

Oh, come on. That's stupid. You just went crazy about how bad Seattle is. Nah, that's dumb. Come on. Eagles defense hasn't stopped anybody for a month. This is nice, Simmons. They put that in the Vegas zone. After 15 weeks. I'll take that. Murph apologizes for a month. This is nice, Simmons. They put that in the Vegas.

After 15 weeks. I'll take that. Murph apologizes for his behavior. Thanks, Murph. You rattled him. Just enough. Did you like the end season or no? Yeah, I thought it was fine.

I couldn't bet. I lost plenty of money on it. I had the worst teams. I had your guy. I had Tatum and Giannis for MVP. I picked, I don't know. I had the Knicks in spots, but you loved it, right? Here's why I won't like

it. If Anthony Davis takes five of the next eight games off, that'll suck. It'll be like when people protest buying gas for a day, and then it's like, all right, that's over with. Now I need gas. And gas sales two days from now

are the highest ever. So if you could guarantee me that's not going to happen, I think this was good, right? It was a nice little... People were down on the Lakers and it was a nice little reminder from them why they have to be taken seriously

as an inner circle team. They've been in a lot of big games. They're big. Davis has the ceiling. LeBron is who he is. That was a little wake-up call. If they went to you and said, you can make one change within reason.

I would have too. I would have the tiebreaker be quarters instead of point differential for getting into the tournament. I didn't like the point differential as much. I think it should be quarters one. And I would do groups, six team groups of five, six team groups.

So we could have five games in a group instead of four. And then I think the right teams would be in there. The only other thing I would do is, it was a little weird how they scheduled the game where it was like two o'clock Pacific for the first game. And then- The semifinals, yeah. Then the other one was at six.

And I just think they did that wrong. I would have gone, because on the East Coast, nobody's watching a game at five o'clock, you know? And on the West Coast, it's two in the afternoon. Like either way, it's stupid. I would go four o'clock Pacific, so it's on at seven Eastern time.

And then I would go eight o'clock for the second game and I would put the better game first. And then the second game, eight o'clock Pacific, 11 o'clock ET, so you'd have to stay up for it. But almost like what we used to have with March Madness way back when. There'd be those late games that are really fun to stay up for it. But almost like what we used to have with March Madness way back when. There'd be those late games that are really fun to stay up for. Would you put it up against Thursday Night Football?

Because that's the other problem in the fall. You've got to avoid football. You're not going to have the final Sunday. So yeah, they said that, right? But how many good Thursday Night Football games have we had? It was basically Cowboys-Seahawks was the only one we've had. Like if it had gone against Pat Steelers on Thursday, would that have been a problem?

The game was horrible. I don't know. So I don't know. How long can they run from football? But grow some fucking chest hair, NBA. Oh, wow. Come on. Bring it on.

Come on. Bring it on, NBA. See what you got. Come on. But yeah. And then have games on Sundays. Like I just don't understand why there are no games today. That was ridiculous.

Yeah, that is weird. I didn't like that. This next segment is brought to you by Google Pixel, the only phone engineered by Google and the official fan phone of the NBA and WNBA. With all-star features, Pixel 8 Pro has all the fun tools fans can actually rally around, like Audio Magic Eraser.

It lets you cut out the background noise so you can capture the sound of every swish, every dish, and every yana slam of the in-season tournament loud and clear. It was interesting, the atmosphere at the in-season. The first game was Bucks Pacers, and they didn't play music basically during the end season. The first game was Bucks-Pacers, and they didn't play music basically during the game situation. So you can actually hear the players. You can hear them yelling at the refs. You can hear the coaches, players talking.

And it felt like sitting in at the most awesome pickup game you've ever been to. And then the second game was the Lakers-Pelicans game. And that was the one where they played the music, and it felt way more like a nightclub atmosphere. But each one, the atmosphere felt a little different than a normal regular season game. For fans who want an experience

that's truly built different, you got to get the new Pixel 8 or Pixel 8 Pro. Learn more about the official fan phone of the NBA at googlestore.com forward slash Pixel NBA. Audio Magic Eraser requires Google Photos app. May not slash pixel MBA audio magic eraser requires Google photos app may not work on all audio elements. All right. It is time parent corner.

What do you got? All right. Um, so, my kid is crazy on fortnight. Like he just, it's just, he's,

he's all the time. I hear him screaming. The words I'm going to report, are uttered in my house, screamed in my house more than anything else. Like, I guess you could play Fortnite with a kid. And if there's something weird that goes on, you're playing other kids and you could scream at them through the TV, through the headset. I'm going to report you. So finally, my wife and I are like, look, you got to stop with this Fortnite. It's driving you.

And so I'm like, why don't you play Madden? Play Madden. We all play Madden. You love flag football. You're good at flag football. I think you'd understand schemes and everything else. Right. He's better at plays. Yeah. Play Madden. He's like, well, I do play Madden. I'm like, okay, play. I'll watch it. So I can't just watch. I have to be an asshole. Right. So he's playing and he's playing in the super pro level, whatever it is. And I'm doing play by is. And I'm doing play by play. And I'm basically telling him what to do through the snarky play by play. I'm like, oh, there's Harrison. And oh, look at this. It seems like he's going to go for it on fourth and

12, a questionable decision to say the least. He's like, shut up. Will you shut up? And of course, he doesn't convert on fourth and 12. So he loses the computer. I'm like, all right, you want to win? Play me. I haven't played in years. They added two buttons. I don't even know what the R1 and I'm not sure what to do. Accelerate. I don't know anything. I'm like, you'll beat me five, whatever. We get to the third quarter.

I snap right back into gear. I remember everything I knew about the buttons and spin move and everything. So I'm beating him 13 to seven in the fourth quarter. And he has the ball, but he hasn't scored since the first quarter. And he is getting very upset, very choked up. Archie comes downstairs. Archie's home already.

I don't know. He went to school for like two months. I don't know how it works. We dropped him off late September. It was December 50s. Yeah, exactly. He's's back he's not even a thousand dollars i'm not even gonna say how much but anyway uh he's like harrison and so harrison's got no timeouts and there's 13 seconds left and art and the clock's running and archie's like

press y press y and i guess y gets you to the line of scrimmage you call play without having to go through the thing and losing time he drops drops back. He's the Bengals. He throws a touchdown to Jamar Chase. It's 13-13. He's going crazy. And now I'm like kind of pissed off. I'm like, I wanted to win. I'm mad at everybody. I'm like, go back to school. Who needs you? And he goes for the extra point. And just as he's about to kick it, I knocked the control out of his hand onto the third step. And he turns to me, and I've never heard him say this before. And I swear he said it. He says, fuck you.

It's the first time. Now, I know the first time you heard- Oh my God, he broke his fuck you cherry. That was it. Now, the first time you heard Ben swear, he was probably like four and a half years old. I was going to say he was like two and a half years old. Maybe, yeah. But to say F you? And so now I'm like, I don't know what years old. I was going to say he was like two and a half years old. Maybe the F, but to say F you. And so now I'm like,

I don't know what to do. I'm enraged. I definitely don't want this to be okay. Right. And Archie looks at me. He's like, you kind of deserve it. I'm like,

okay, time out here. You win the dumb game. I don't give a crap. You can't say that to me. I can't have you. He's like, I'm sorry.

I just didn't know what else to say. And I wanted to hurt you. I was like, all right, I respect that. So hopefully, this is like a great father, son,

brother story. Yeah. We'll see. We'll see if it works. I think it could be all, you know, it could be all, who knows if it's true.

Anyway, that was a really good paracorder. Thank you. I have problems. My son, much to your delight, is wrestling now. Love it. And loves it. And spends all of his time in the house shirtless and doing fake moves.

And I don't know how this didn't happen sooner. But the part you didn't tell me about was that people who wrestle, all they want to do is wrestle other people. So I'm just in the kitchen getting a drink and Ben comes to me, I don't know where to match, and is trying to lock up with me and grab my wrist. I'm like, I'm just trying to get a glass of water. And I've screamed at him like 20 times. The other day we're leaving the house

and he grabs my wife and he's trying to lock up with her. And she's like, oh, you want to go? And now they're locking up, and he's trying to body slam her. And I'm like, no, that's your mother. He's just lost his mind. All he wants to do is do moves.

And he made us take him to this, there's like this fighter store on the corner of La Brea and Beverly. That's a really cool store, actually. It's new. Because he had to get knee pads pads and they had one of those like actual 200 pound dummies, like a,

like a real one. It was like $450. He's like, can we get this? And I was like, you know what? You're two weeks in for wrestling. I'm not getting you the $450 wrestling dummy.

Like put a couple of months in. And then the guy's like, well, if you got it, you'd also have to get the 5x10 mat because you don't want to so now it's like oh so now this is $800 what happens when he loses one match

he's like I don't know if I like wrestling anymore so I was like we'll come back put in let's see so anyway he might be in a match soon and he's debating what the weight class is but all he does all day is try to fight us you could have saved the money of is, but all he does all day is try to fight us.

You could have saved the money. Thanks for your advice. Of course. Anytime. But you could have saved the money on the takedown dummy if you agreed to be the takedown dummy. That's what his point was. I could just beat the hell out of you. Well, the best thing about wrestling is winning an actual match. The second best is wrestling people don't know what they're doing.

I mean, he's got like superpowers now and he's gonna, he's like a Jedi that they want to, you know, demonstrate. Well, he was explaining to me

that everything is like, first, you got to control the wrist. Right. It's like, dad, dad, you get the wrist first

and then once you have that, everything else follows but you got to get the wrist. I'm like, oh my God. So now you're grabbing my wrist for the next five years. Cut your wrists off.

You'll be fine. That's great. Um, that's great. I have a bonus president corner. Oh, oh, did you go see Biden? No. Oh. Friday, I'm flying back.

It's, I'm on a 12 o'clock flight. I'm on that jet o'clock flight. I'm on that Jet Suite X, which is like this direct LA to Vegas flight. It's like a 20 seat plane. It's great. It's not douchey. I'm going to stick up for you here.

A lot of times you could get the same fare that Southwest offers. It's the same price as the other ones. It's just it flies in a Burbank and it's, you know, I don't know what it is, but it's around the same price. You avoid the airport, which is great. Yeah, you avoid the airport.

So I'm about to leave. I'm excited. I'm like, I'm going to get home by 1. There's not going to be traffic. You know, I have a bunch of podcasts on. So I'm going to go three-hour power walk. And we're on the plane and he's like, we're going to be delayed a little bit. And he's like, we're going to be delayed a little more. And all of a sudden, it's like, it's going to be an hour. So the president's flying in. So we got to wait.

Hour passes. He's like, I have some bad news. We're going to have to get off the plane. Please take your stuff. The flight's been delayed. So now we're all walking off the plane. And as we're doing it, I get a text from JetSuiteX, your flight's been canceled. So the flight wasn't delayed. It was canceled. And now we're at the, at the gate and we're all mad. And they're like, yeah, the president came in. All the flights into Vegas have been canceled because they canceled the

airspace around an entire city when the president comes in. So he canceled six hours of flights by going into Vegas. Wow. And, um, and I was like, well, how am I going to get home?

And they're like, well, you know, you're going to get refunded on your flight. I'm like, cool. how am I going to get home? And they're like, well, you're going to get refunded on your flight. I'm like, cool. I want to go home. So now I'm like home alone. I'm just outside this JetSuite X airport. I'm like, how the fuck do I get home?

And it becomes like a math problem. Do I get an Uber? It's like, no, it's going to be some crazy number. Will an Uber even take us? So then I figure out I'm going to rent a car and I'm going to drive back. So within like 10 minutes, I'm renting a car that's at the, that's attached to the airport.

Within 10 minutes, I have an Uber taking me there. By two 30, I'm in a Ford Explorer and I'm driving back to LA. I'm going to guess 103 miles an hour. And I'm pissed. Average. Yeah. You're angry. So I'm going back to LA. I'm going to guess 103 miles an hour. And I'm pissed. Average. Yeah.

You're angry. So I'm going Vegas to Burbank and I'm angry and I'm in a Ford Explorer. And I stopped at a Starbucks drive-thru. What time do you think I got to Burbank? What time did you leave? I left at 2.37. All right. So for anyone listening, this usually takes, if there's no traffic, four and a half hours on a good day. So that would get you there at 7.07. I'll say 6.23. Oh, interesting. Did you include the Starbucks stop?

Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I did. How long did you spend at Starbucks? Yeah. What is it? It was 635. That's very impressive. So I caught some luck because there wasn't that much traffic. And I was really angry for the first hour. And I was listening to a 1979 police concert at the police. They have a concert album in Boston that has a lot of energy.

So I was listening to that and I was just flying. And then eventually basketball came on and I calmed down a little. It wasn't as much of a menace. But yeah, four hours. So I was home by like I finally got home, I don't know, like 7.15, 7.10, something like that.

So you're voting for Robert F. Kennedy. You know what? I'm a free agent now. After the Joe, I don't know. I don't know about being Joe anymore. My feelings were really hurt. Joe,

Joe ruined my travel plans. Everyone, whether you like the president or not, is so bummed when the president comes to your city, especially if that city is LA, where the traffic is already off the charts, miserable. And it's like the Olympics coming,

but you don't get to enjoy it. Right? Like you, it's like, okay,, but you don't get to enjoy it. Right? It's like, okay, when did he leave? Is he gone? Everything's good? And why is it like a six-hour window? The plane lands and it should be like a two-hour window. Right.

I don't like it. Oh, there's a lot of upset people in Vegas. I like President's Corner. It's good. President's Corner. Hopefully, we don't have to do another one. Alright, Cuz, what do you got to plug? Alright, Against the Lodge podcast, couple times a week. It's going to be fun. Through the Ringer with Tate, Tuesday morning.

Ringer Wiseguy is always fun. Pre-game show. Best pre-game show in the country. Sunday mornings on FanDuel TV and Cousin Sal's winning weekend, Friday 10 a.m. Eastern FanDuel TV. Phil Simms is my guest. What should I ask him? Phil Simms.

Yeah. Getting some heavy hitters here. Got Sison next week. Yeah. Can you ask him deep down was like 5% of them rooting against Hostetler? Yeah, I am going to ask him that. That's a good question. Because if Hostetler wins, it just basically makes it seem like you weren't as good

I had Bledsoe on and asked him essentially the same question about Tom Brady and he's like look it's human nature you're not going to be all in on the guy that took your job I'm like oh alright I appreciate the honesty there you go

well we'll see next week we'll see. Next week, we'll see if we can keep the Dallas hot streak going, the BS hot streak going. A lot of hot streaks right now. You got to let people know. You got to let people know

with these last two games. 15-0 is unheard of. Get it done, Simmons. Go get it. Well, I can't take Tennessee. Got to take Miami at home, right? They're going to score at least 30 points. I have both underdogs, but you're probably

right. I'm not telling you anything. Well, now it's going to ruin my day tomorrow because I'm going to be spending because I can still change my picks up until kickoff and it's all I'm going to think about tomorrow. They're 15-0. Gus has had ZFL since early 90s.

I'm going to say like 92, 93. Nobody's ever done the undefeated. I think it's impossible. Something bad will happen. Nah, you got it. Now today's done. So today was my perfect day. I threw the perfect game.

And then tomorrow it's going to be too hard. Stop it, baby. You got this. All right. Good job by you. Good job by you. All right.

That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Cousin Sal. Thanks to Kyle Creighton and Steve Cerruti. Don't forget, new Rewatchables is coming Monday night. And then I think my Tuesday podcast might even go up a wee bit sooner on Tuesday. So stay tuned for that. I will see you on the Rewatchables feed on Monday. deck.