The Bill Simmons Podcast - Dallas Ain’t Dead! Plus: MVP Rodgers, Tua Troubles, Goff Flops and Playoff Scenarios With Cousin Sal 

Episode Date: December 28, 2020

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the many different NFL playoffs scenarios that could lie ahead, as well as some Week 16 games, including the Cowboys' win over the Eagles, the Cardinals falling to the 49ers, Packers-Rams, Dolphins-Raiders, Colts-Steelers, and more (2:15). Then they Guess the NFL Lines for Week 17 (48:00), followed by Parent Corner (1:25:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A lot of things came to a head this week. A lot of gambling losses, a lot of parlays blown, a lot of fantasy leagues decided. Sal and I went head to head in ours. We're going to make fun of each other in one second. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days, when I was allowed to have beer.

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Rewatchables coming on Monday night. Mr. Holland's opus, Mr. Holland takes a beating in this podcast. I'm just warning you now. If you love The Rewatchables, the entire archive is available only on Spotify. You can still find everything from the past 60 days on all platforms, including this podcast we have going tomorrow night. If you want to hear everything dated back to 2017, go to Spotify. Spotify is great. You can change speeds. You can listen to me at 1.2 speed.

That is what the scouts say is my best speed, 1.2. That's where I really thrive. It's that little extra oomph that I need. Anyway, Cousin Sal coming up in one second. This is going to be a very lively podcast. I'm just warning you now. First, our friends this at 8.15 Pacific time, Sunday night. Cousin Sal is here.

He just beat me in our Keeper Fantasy League. We'll save that until the tail end. You don't care. Sure, whatever. I don't care. No, the listeners don't care. I know you care. The listeners don't care. Sure, whatever. I don't care. No, the listeners don't care. I know you care. The listeners don't care.

No, they care. Everybody cares. This is the wackiest heading into week 17 podcast I think we've ever done because there's more playoff teams and it's so hard to keep track of. I don't even know where to begin. We're going to save that for later too. Let's start here. Did Rodgers win the MVP tonight?

Oh, I guess he did. I don't know. What do you like more? Touchdowns or yards? Like, you know, Mahomes has like 500, 600 more yards. Rogers has more touchdowns, seems in more control of his offense. And, you know, got a lot of one-yard touchdowns in there. I don't know. I think, whatever.

Neither of these teams without these players makes the playoffs. So what do you go by anymore, right? You just got to pick your favorite stats, I guess. Right. It felt like all my homes had to do was, was have a couple of pars on the back nine and he won the MVP and he just did it. He would, they weren't that good the last couple of weeks. I don't know what happened on them today.

I reminded me of a Dale Ahoya Trinidad. I was like, he just stopped fighting last couple of rounds. And a lot of people, by the way, chiefs fans are becoming the worst. Do you find that too? It reminded me of De La Hoya Trinidad. I was like, he just stopped fighting the last couple of rounds. And a lot of people, by the way, Chiefs fans are becoming the worst. Do you find that too? Do you have any Chiefs fan friends in your life? Like, I can't tell. No, thank God, no.

You should be a little worried. I don't know. Like, oh, they're going through the motions. Like, yeah, but, you know, this is like two months in a row where they're going through the motions. I feel like six or seven teams could beat them. Like, oh, cut it out. They get so mad. And meanwhile, Mahomes, if they are going through the motions,

he cost himself the award probably. Yeah. They do weird stuff too. Explain that fourth and one, whatever the fuck happened with the wide receiver screen. Like, you pat Mahomes. You're getting every fourth and one. All you can do is roll him out and roll Tyreek Hill to that side or Kelsey. And you're getting a first down.

What are you doing? They seem bored. You, me, House, and Hench, we were texting during the game, and they seem bored. It seems like they're intentionally trying to challenge themselves for the last 45 minutes of the game. They're seeming bored. Hench seems really bored. He set the record for text today.

I mean, I know you've been through some Red Sox marathons with him, but my God, it was about 250 texts. But, yeah, that fourth down, they seem bored. I love it too, but they seem bored. But do you want to show all your trick plays when you're bored? Is that what you do? I don't know. I think you run a bull to wedge up the middle. If you're bored, we both think my homes is the best player in the league and the most important player in the league and the most talented player in the league.

And he's on a team that is going to lose one game all year. I don't want to overreact because I don't really care who wins the MVP. And I could, I don't think it's like the NBA where it like really, really matters. And the NFL doesn't matter quite as much, but this does feel a little Carl Malone, Michael Jordan-esque to me, even though Rogers has a ring, he's, he's more vaulted in his career, more vaunted, vaulted, vaulted, he's vaulted and in his career more vaunted he's vaulted and vaunted so I don't mean to demean him by comparing him to the mailman

who failed to show up in a lot of games over the years but it just feels like everybody's kind of talking themselves into Rodgers more because they're either bored by Mahomes and the Chiefs or disappointed and those don't feel like good reasons to me because the Chiefs are going to go 15 and one and Mahomes is the most talented player in the league. And he threw for way more yards

and Rogers does have a knack at like, he has piled up these touchdowns when you're watching it, where it's like, oh, he sneaks this one out three yard or seven yard or, but they're, they're not like these game-breaking touchdowns. I don't know. It doesn't feel right to me that he's the MVP. It's close. I'm not going to scream about it. It's pretty close, but, um, I don't, I don't know that homes, my homes do enough to lose it. He was such a big favorite. It was like minus five 52 weeks ago. He's minus two 50 going in today. And all he did was win. You know, all he does is keep winning, you know? So, uh, doesn't 15 and one, shouldn't that ultimately be what decides this stuff? Probably, probably.

And the one game they lost was an idiotic game where they just gave up 40 points to the Raiders, but even that game where you can't really hang that one on him. Yeah. Right. I will say he threw a bunch in the Falcons defenders hands today, but I honestly, he did. Well, you and I both think he's the best. And, uh, but I don't mind Rodgers. I knew this game would be, you get a lot of momentum, get a lot of exposure, and that could be enough to put him over the top. The snow, people like

different things, so I don't know who's voting on this stuff, but it was a typical Rodgers game that he wanted the numbers in the first half, and he did it. What's the record of teams that are cold-weather teams when there's snow playing a team from a place like Tennessee? I kind of realized

that two minutes into the game. Those guys in Tennessee, it's not like they're dealing with snow. Right. Whereas the dudes in Wisconsin, it's like Thursday to them. When we were growing up, Tampa Bay hadn't won a game in 20 degree or less temperature in 35 attempts or something.

Yeah, it's a real thing. Although I don't know. They might have made too much about it. They're like, oh, this team plays in the snow. Like, how much did a lot of those guys play in the snow this week? Not practicing in the snow, but it does seem to work out. Those teams have a ton of turnover, too. I don't mean to seem like we're shitting on

Rodgers because I think he's had an incredible season. He's 37 years old. I personally felt like he didn't have this type of season in him anymore. I just worry about we get to late January and they get knocked out in round two and Mahomes and the Chiefs are 10 point favorites

in the Super Bowl. And we're like, oh man, really? Why did we not give the MVP? Let's all be careful. Let's not go with the narrative. Let's go with who the best one is. And also let's not really care. Uh, we,

before we get to all the playoff scenarios, which are incredibly complicated, let's, let's tackle these in no particular order. Um, the NFC East, your team, you tried to cross off your team on this podcast for weeks and weeks and No particular order. The NFC East. Your team, you tried to cross off your team on this podcast for weeks and weeks and weeks.

And now your team is in the driver's seat. Washington has some dude named Heineken playing quarterback. The other one is drinking Heineken to the strip joint. And the other one has one leg. Those are the three Washington quarterbacks. You're going to make the playoffs. NBC loves that game enough that they're making it the Sunday night game. Washington, Philadelphia. I don't remember the last time this happened where they made the game.

It's usually both teams need to have something to play for to be the Sunday night game, right? That's usually how they do it. I thought always that's how they did it. Did they call an audible when Goff's injury with his thumb injury? Because I thought it would be Rams Cardinals was the only game that kind of mattered to both teams. So, but here we are. Do you think, do you think they were afraid that if, so if the bears lose, then the Cardinals

can make it if they win. But if the bears win, it gets a little hairier for the Cardinals and maybe they, I, it sounds like they just went for the sexiest, I guess, big city matchup, right? I guess. I mean, if you would have thought Jalen hurts against the Heineken, Heineken, Heineken, Heineken, that's the marquee matchup for week 17. And, and, and the winner has like seven wins. Heineken was throwing frozen ropes. I thought he got, he got, he got killed byken was throwing frozen ropes. I thought he got

killed by a couple drops, but I thought he was pretty good. Your division, first of all, the Eagles, what a disgrace. They're up 14-3. And every time after your team scored, they had a cornerback. I can't remember his name, but they showed the stats against

him at one point, and he had single-handedly given up over 180 yards receiving. And they said it was like the record for this year or something. They're just showing them on the sideline. Nobody's within five feet of them. Right. It's pretty tough. Well, and then Fletcher caught Fletcher Cox going out as big. They have been the Cowboys. I think I'll score him like 31, 10 after Fletcher Cox went out. So that's a, that's a huge loss on the defensive end, but man, it looked like that's a game that the Cowboys would have given up in week

eight, going down 10 or more to Philadelphia and hurts kind of running the offense, doing whatever he wanted with them. But damn it. Andy Dalton was good. I don't know what to do with this team. I want to give up on him.

I gave up before Thanksgiving. I gave up on Thanksgiving and And now they're back. Do the Pacino. Just do it. Give it to us. What do you mean? What is it? Which one?

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. They really do. And it's stupid because Tompa is going to put up four touchdowns against us in the first half if it comes to that in two weeks. Well, hold on. You're you're kind of overlooking one subplot with what happened today with your team. Zeke Elliott came out of his coma, right? That was the Zeke Elliott who got the hundred million dollar extension that

we haven't seen for two years. And I thought maybe he was gone and he was running with like legitimate vigor and looked like Zeke Elliott again. So if you have that guy in round one against Tampa, plus with, you know, the receivers who can pretty much, you have three receivers that can break a 50-yard pass at any point. And if you have Zeke running like that, and then Pollard coming in to arrest him,

there's a recipe of you controlling the ball. Like, I don't think it's absurd. Stop it. I will say, Zeke, I think, like, you know, ball. Like, I don't think it's absurd. Stop it. I will say, Zeke, I think like, you know, he heard the everyone like scrambling saying Pollard's as good as you are. And he's like, oh, man, that's stupid. Then he saw it last week. Like, oh, man, Pollard might be as good as I am.

Tony Pollard. And then he went out and actually reacted like a human being would. But I think if they came to it, this is look the cart way before the horse here that Dallas's defense would resemble the lions defense more. And you'd see what Tampa did to them. It wouldn't, wouldn't be pretty. I don't want to lose to Tampa. Just bow out next week. Cowboys. That's fine. Some people are saying you might be the best seven and nine playoff team ever. That's a big guy. It was a lead lead conversation on SportsCenter today. I can't believe the division leader fought back to 7-9. That's pretty impressive. So in the NFC, we have Green Bay, New Orleans, and Seattle

who have all clinched. And it looks like it's going to be that order unless Green Bay loses Chicago, which is conceivable next week. Tampa has also clinched a wild card. NFC East is wide open and they will be playing Tampa. It looks like. And then we have this weird Rams bears Cardinals trifecta. Right.

With the distinct possibility that golf and Trubisky might be in the playoffs along with Heineken Smith or Haskins. We might have three really shaky quarterbacks. We can talk about Goff later. Really shaky, as in they all belong in the shaky bowl. Yeah, you're right. I don't know. Yeah, what do you do with that?

The Bears are kind of back there. They play the Packers. The Packers are not necessarily the one yet. They have to beat the Bears to get – because they don't want a three-way tie with New Orleans and Seattle. It might not be great for them. And that's with this extra playoff seed.

It just feels like every game has these two other wrinkles that I don't remember being used to. Like Green Bay, Chicago, good example. Green Bay wins, they're the one seed. Chicago wins, they somehow make the playoffs, which seemed inconceivable five weeks ago. And then you have the Cardinals kind of lingering with this Rams game, which could be a borderline loser-leaves-town match

if Chicago beats Green Bay. Right. So we usually don't have this many teams in play. I thought it would be decided. Honestly, I thought the AFC would be decided last week. I thought teams like the Dolphins would go away, and the Raiders did go away, but Dolphins won a crazy and the Raiders did go away,

but Dolphins won a crazy one Saturday night to stay in there. Let's talk about the two Saturday games because the front-faced Cardinals, I am now, you know, like the do not admit list that nightclubs have? Yeah. You know, where it's like,

don't let that guy in. He started a huge fight two months ago. His picture's on the wall. I think I might have to start a do not bet list because I had money on multiple people this weekend that you just feel like a schmuck. Like I'm never betting on Cliff Kingsbury again, ever. I'm never doing it. He is the top three worst coach in the league. And I knew this and I still put money on him, but Holy shit.

How many times can they run the no huddle offense? While at the same time using up 39 of the 40 seconds of the play clock. Yeah, that's bad. The terrible fourth and two calls. They have this incredible nuclear weapon and Kyler Murray, who anytime he wants can run for 11 yards and they're getting cute and doing weird stuff and putting in position

to like have passes tipped left and right so i'll let's start with that team never again so i i have a list and it goes it's there's like 35 teams on it never bet again so i have to redo the list because then i'm not just not betting football anymore all these teams have screwed me but i get it with arizona it's so frustrating And like Nuke Hopkins, and it helps because you had Murray and Hopkins in your fantasy league, and that was an extra FU. It really was. But Hopkins, and I know this is how it is for receivers, but he's had seven games under 70 yards.

So this is, I don't know. I feel like if he's not on, that could be like a bottom seven, bottom eight team, Arizona, with them. They play okay defense, nothing great. And I just wonder, though, with the running quarterbacks, do you think like a Josh Allen, you think like a Kyla Murray, you think a Tua says to their coach, hey, coach, I don't want to run. Just don't put a lot of running plays in for me.

Because that could happen. That could be what's going on. Like he doesn't want to get hurt? I think so. Otherwise, it just defies logic. Kyla Murray should be running on third and five every single time or have the option to do so. Same with Tua. A lot of these guys, I don't see why that's not an option. Then they have to roll the dice on fourth down. But yeah, that was not pretty with Arizona.

They blew up a lot of teasers. Gambling gods gave it too easy, right? They gave us the Saints on Friday. They gave us Tampa Saturday morning. And then they're like, okay, now we're going to really screw you. You want to take Arizona on a money line? Well, and also it's Christmas, right? So I had Arizona.

I got crushed a million dollar picks, which I knew was going to happen because I did it on like Wednesday. But then it's Christmas. You're not paying attention to this stuff. Put on the game and it on like Wednesday. But but then it's Christmas. You're not paying attention to stuff. Put on the game and it's like, oh, there's George Kittle. George Kittle's playing. Yeah, right. Yeah. I thought he had a fractured foot and their season was over.

Why the fuck is he out there? Yeah. George Kittle's out there. And as soon as I saw him, I'm like, oh, and then the cards do all the Cliff Kingsbury stuff. And he's just not a good coach. He's just not. And you think like they steal that hail Mary game.

And then last week we, I, one of the things is that that game threw me off that Eagles cards game. Cause it was this exciting game. And it's like, Oh, actually both of these teams suck. And the Cardinals look good against the Eagles because the Eagles have the

worst secondary in the league is we found out this week. Right. And, and then the Eagles look good. Cause they're playing the Cardinals who good against the Eagles because the Eagles have the worst secondary in the league, as we found out this week. Right. And then the Eagles look good because they're playing the Cardinals, who aren't that good. I was shocked they couldn't block the Niners at all. The Niners weren't playing for anything. They've been in Arizona for a month. The Niners play defense, man. You talk about coaches that should be moving on.

The Niners, if you look at their record, they they don't, they don't let up back to back games. Really? They really, they're at, if they give up like 31 week, they'll give up 14 the next week. Just look at their schedule. They've really come to play. And if they, if they screw you the week before, they're not going to do it again. And then that running back was a Wilson. I got 183 yards.

Like that's indefensible at this point for, uh, for Arizona. Well, and then the other piece, the other frustrating piece was they played Buffalo. What? Two weeks ago. When was that? When, uh, Buffalo spreads them out the diners. Oh, the niners. Yeah. I thought, you know, Buffalo spreads them out and they cannot cover any receiver and they have no running back. They've Josh Allen back there. So he's a run threat. Spread them all out. And Robert Salah, who they're,

oh, this guy's the next head coach. They're just getting torched. Cliff Kingsbury, the genius, watches that tape and is like, let me not do that. I'm not going to emulate that at all. Has a running back in there the whole time. He's doing like this weird short,

dumb pass. Oh, man. This is what I mean. We're missing something. we're missing some kind of locker room discussion or something with kyla murray where he says like look coach i know i can run for an easy first down every drive every five plays but uh you know let's roll the dice a little well they're on my do not bet list and then the uh dolphins raiders two uh is also on my do not bet list. I had the money line though with the bet with them. At halftime, I just thought Fitz was coming in.

And whether Tua is good or not, I have no idea. He's a rookie. Mahomes didn't play for a year. Not to say that he's Mahomes, but they threw Tua in right away. He's coming off a hip injury. He doesn't scramble. He doesn't seem like he has any ability at all to throw deep.

It seems like unless he's a little like Trubisky, like unless everything that he thought was going to happen in the play in the first two seconds happens, it's going to be a complete disaster. And at halftime, it's like, Oh, they're trying to make the playoffs.

They got to take this guy out. He's 10 for 13 for 20 yards. Right now, kept them in whole third quarter. Then they finally. He's 10 for 13 for 20 yards. Right now, kept them in whole third quarter. Then they finally bring fits in who throws for 180 yards in 10 minutes. That's how, that's the disparity between those two guys. And yet they still shouldn't have won. It comes down to fit with this crazy face mask Keeve and the Raiders have nobody covering a dude with 12 seconds left, but we can't give Fitz magic enough credit for that.

That might've been the best completion of all time based on the circumstances. I mean, his head was spun all the way around and he dropped it right in the bucket inbounds and plus the 15 yards. And that was the only way the Raiders really could lose that game. I know you thought they should run it in. I had Jacobson fantasy. I would have liked that. But I was like, you know what?

As long as the kick is good, they're fine. 19 seconds. Only what happened is what could have happened for them to lose. But yeah, I agree with you with Tua. Like, you know, Flores is like, make no mistake about it. He's our guy. Like, who's making the mistake here? Cause you've been Mariano Rivera every single time. How long is Fitzpatrick going to be on the roster? I agree with you. Two will be good down the road, but they seem like they're running plays for him. That's a guy they're protecting.

He doesn't scramble at all, and he doesn't throw downfield ever. You're right. Those stats. At one point, he was like 10 for 13 for 46 yards or something. And it's like Kurt Warner saying, listen, you take what they give you on defense. Like, no, no, no.

You're on three yard short passes and you're getting third and three. And then it's a coin flip, whether or not you're punting or not on the second thing. So yes, if the Dolph, if you're, if your attitude is, look, we're not going to win the Superbowl anyway, let Tua get some playoff experience. That's one thing. But if you want to make a run in January, Fitzpatrick, Attitude is, look, we're not going to win the Super Bowl anyway. Let Tua get some playoff experience. That's one thing.

But if you want to make a run in January, Fitzpatrick's your guy. It's not like he's terrible in the first half, Fitzpatrick, and that's why he's not in until the second half. It's bizarre. It's also amazing that Ryan Fitzpatrick, career journeyman, who's been on a thousand teams, is completely dusting Tua like this. Right. And they're like,

oh, these guys are friends. It's like, well, it's amazing because Fitzpatrick's three times better than him this season. It reminds me, my son and I were watching Bloodsport the other day

and that scene at the end when Van Damme, after he beats Chong Li and then he goes to see Ogre in the hospital to bring him back the bandana. And Van Damme, like one of the worst actors of all time. And Ogre in the hospital. Yeah. To bring back the bandana. And Van Damme,

like one of the worst actors of all time. And Ogre, and they have kind of a moment. And Ogre looks like he's Robert De Niro in this scene. Like he's really like great. And it's like,

yeah, he's great because he's acting next to Van Damme. Yeah. Where it's like, of course he looks awesome. Van Damme's like a fucking mannequin.

Right. Same thing with two and Fitzpatrick. Fitzpatrick seems like he's a million times better because Tua goes in, he can't really do anything. I don't know why we're afraid to say it. All the announcers are dancing around. They're like, the Dolphins have a great thing in this platoon and this one-two punch.

No, it's not a great thing. What? No. They have an awesome defense. Yeah, if Tua were consistent, it wouldn't be a great thing. They would just leave him in. That would be that. Listen, there's an easy out with this.

He had a major, major injury last year, and he doesn't look right. And he hasn't had enough reps yet. I'm not saying he's never going to be good. I'm just saying he's not good. He'll be good. They're a playoff team in a division that if you go on down the line, Buffalo's playing the best. Everyone else is beatable, including the Chiefs.

The Chiefs are sitting there waiting to get upset by somebody. Pittsburgh's a mess. I know we'll get to Pittsburgh. Tennessee just got killed. If you're Pittsburgh and you were looking at a two seed, isn't the Dolphins the number one team you want to play with two head quarterback? Like it's the only team that you could maybe score 20 points and win. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Let's take a break and we'll break down the AFC. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you could still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now. Just search Movember. Pennzoil Platinum up to 15-year, 800,000-kilometer protection guarantee. Your adventures will be many.

Pennzoil. Long may we drive. Available at your local Canadian tire. Enrollment required. Keep your receipts. Other conditions apply. See Pennzoil.ca slash warranty for full details. I feel like we let the Raiders off the hook a tiny bit there because if you had in the previous segment, because if you had the Raiders money line,

that was about as devastating of a loss as you're going to have. I had the under the under two. It was like, Oh, 13, 13 with five minutes left. It's stupid, stupid,

stupid. Yeah. The Raiders, I think we're involved in the most dumb games this year. Yeah, for sure. They had, they were involved in at least five reprehensively dumb games.

All right. So the AFC Pittsburgh comes roaring back and beats Indianapolis, the team that I had wagered on and did million dollar picks on. I'm up 24 seven. Roethlisberger we're, we're texting at halftime. Like, are they going to bench him? Who's their backup guy? Can't complete a pass. They've completely lost it. They have no energy that no team had ever gone 11 and oh 0 and then lost their next four. I got, I kind of, I gotta be honest. I wrote them off.

I didn't think Indianapolis was going to blow that. It seemed like they were running. They're getting five yards, whatever way they wanted. Um, it seemed like they had figured out, don't let rivers get strip sacked or anything dumb. Don't let him beat us. Just kind of keep going forward. And, and we got this. And then second half starts.

And it was like Roethlisberger drank a fucking 64-ounce Gatorade HGH. Then all of a sudden was throwing frozen ropes again. Yeah. He was like, give me all the oxychloroquine whatever it is that you have. Just inject it into my blood right now.

We saw the Undertaker meme a million times on Twitter, but that's exactly what it was. They rose from the coffin. They were dead. He didn't want to throw downfield. He hadn't thrown downfield in weeks. And then all of a sudden Juju Smith, Schuster Claypool,

Deontay Johnson, all catching passes downfield. It made no sense. It was a stupid game for the Colts to lose. It was a stupid game for you to bet, to lose on the Colts because the Steelers were dead to rights. I still don't know what was wrong, why they gave us a whole December worth of short passes and no pump fakes and nothing out of big Ben. And now he's on

top of the world again. I know one thing was, I have one thing that was different. I noticed it in the second half and the, not the announcers mentioned it too. He started taking hits. He, he was holding the ball for the extra second. I don't think he wanted to get hit in like the previous four or five games. And I think in this one, because their backs were to the wall, he was like,

fuck it. And he stood in there and he took some big hits and was, and it was kind of like the, the punishment he was taking seemed to like, it was like the undertaker. Yeah. It was like when somebody said to the undertaker WrestleMania, it's just like rises,

but he all of a sudden became Roethlisberger again. And it's crazy. Cause the crazy part to me, it wasn't even that they came back offensively is that the Colts couldn't score. Right. I mean, they didn't score.

They were up 24, seven. They didn't score again. Yeah. That was it. They were, I didn't get it. I, it seemed like they were running the ball too. I, it was didn't score. They were up 24-7. They didn't score again. Yeah, that was it. They were done. I didn't get it. It seemed like they were running the ball, too.

It was a weird one. Frank Reich's had a couple of those where you're kind of going, wait, what are you guys doing? You know, when you're Phil Rivers and you have Christmas with nine kids, so you got to think they woke up at like 4.30 in the morning and you're stepping on Legos and you already have a toe injury left and right. And, uh, I don't know. It finally caught up to him. I don't know what happens. And now

they're on the outside looking in, by the way, what's weird is all these Browns fans like, yeah, we're going to win the division. We're going to win division. The Steelers did the Browns a huge favor by knocking the Colts to the eight spot now. And we'll probably, it looks like they'll be doing them a favor next week by sitting all their starters against the Browns in a game that the Browns need to win. So it's crazy how it all ends up. Well, that was the other nutty thing about the Colts thing. It wasn't like this was some random week 13. Oh, we kind of lost our eyes on the prize for a second. Yeah. This was a must win game. And they're now in the eighth spot and they're not going to make the playoffs because for whatever reason, they completely fell apart. And I don't understand why they weren't running

the ball in the second half. They have good running backs. I look, I went and looked at the stats. They were like five yards of carry Taylor and Heinz. It's really weird. So that was strange. The other one was the Cleveland jets game, which if you're making parlays during the COVID season before 24, more than 24 hours before the game, this is a great example why not to do that. It's good advice. All of a sudden, there are no Cleveland wide receivers. They're promoting practice squad people.

And I was just like, I thought it was great for me because I started chubbing Hunt against you. I'm like, this is awesome. They're going to carry the ball 100 times. Yeah. No. By the way, why did they stop? Didn't Baker throw 53 times? They weren't down 40 points. They should have run a hundred times. Yeah. No. By the way, why did they stop? Didn't Baker throw 53 times?

They weren't down 40 points. They should have run a lot more. It was so weird. Third quarter. It was such a weird game plan. I think, uh, they're Stefanski has done a really good job this year.

This was the first game I've seen from them where I didn't know what they were doing. Cause I just felt like I would have played Chubb and hunt together. Instead there, they were, they were in the 12. Right. With the two tight ends.

But they, in the fourth quarter, they were like almost like no huddle fast pace. And it's like, you can't do that with multiple tight ends. That's going to be easy. I don't know. The whole thing was weird.

I saw that cream on the awards, the whole award section. It was strange today. It was like, my homes is like, get this MVP away from me. Uh, Joe judge is like coach of the year. Come on. I don't, Mahomes was like, get this MVP away from me. Joe Judge is like, coach of the year? Come on.

I can't. Stefanski did the same. No, it's not my award. Don't give it to me. Flores a couple times. Same thing the other day, even though they ended up winning. It's going to be interesting to see who gets a nod there. Well, then the poor Jets fans who

basically got all their money stolen out of their savings account last week. But the accountant's like, hold on, I think there's one move we can make. Right, right, right. Don't think it's gone yet. I have one call. And then they'd win again.

Well, they're locked in the two now, right? They're locked in now. Yeah, but they could have at least lingered and hoped like Jacksonville's playing Indianapolis in week 17. And then Jacksonville's playing Chicago. Everyone and their brother has Chicago in a tease. Right.

And it's 10-10. Trubisky throws what would have been the worst pick of the day if Jared Goff didn't play professional football today. So Jacksonville gets the ball back into the first half. They're on like their own 20 with 20 seconds left. And it was like shot

con called in the order. Like we're throwing a pick on this play. They throw it right to Chicago. Chicago gets a field goal. They end up winning by like 30, but that was pretty fishy. So scatterbrained whether they were tanking or trying and it would turn on a dime within 30

seconds. By the way, maybe Doug Marone wins coach of the year. He's the only one who played it right by losing. Tanking or trying would have been a fun game show for this game. So if I give you Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Tennessee, Miami, Baltimore, Cleveland, Indianapolis, what team do you like the most out of those eight? Because mine would be Buffalo. Yeah, I mean, we'll see.

It changes week to week, but Buffalo is the scariest because we talked about it last week. So what's the bar? You got to beat the Chiefs, right? So do you do it the way the Raiders did it and scored 30 points, but limit the Chiefs possessions? Or can you slug it out with the Chiefs? I actually thought Tennessee might be a team that could slug it out with the chiefs. I don't, I don't, I guess maybe not now, but, uh, Buffalo can just be like, just give us what you got. We'll go possession for possession and we'll score 45 and you score 42. So Buffalo is the one that scares me the most. Well, Buffalo's 11 and three playing the past Monday night. And then Miami week 17, Pittsburgh's playing Cleveland. If Buffalo wins the last two,

they're the two seed. Cause they beat Pittsburgh head to head. And if I'm Buffalo, I want the two seed because then I don't have to see Casey until round three. And I can keep my fingers crossed that, you know, maybe something goofy will happen in round two against somebody. Are they making their own bet though? Because Buffalo might play Miami in the first round anyway, or they might play Baltimore if they let them in.

But if Buffalo beats Miami in week 17, then they get to the two seed, and then they knock Miami out, I think. They would probably knock them out, right? But then you're asking for trouble. So if you're Buffalo, you're saying you would tank, get Miami in the playoffs. You know, it ends up being, you don't want to tank, right?

Cause you don't want to fall to three seat. You don't want to have to go to Pittsburgh if it gets to the second round. Right. So I guess you, I guess you try, I guess you start everyone. I like what Buffalo has going now. They, their team that week after week has taken care of business. I don't know if I would want to screw that up if I was them. Um, the, the, the Colts piece of it.

So now look, the, the playoffs scenarios are so effing complicated, but the Colts definitely need one of Miami, Cleveland, Baltimore to lose. Or if they win and they play the Jaguars, so they're going to, and Tennessee loses to the Texans, they win the AFC South. So they go from being the eighth seed right now to they could actually win the AFC South now. So they could be anywhere from a four seed to out of the playoffs. Yeah.

Or potentially even a seventh seed. So that's weird. And are they scheduling this where all of it's at the same time or are they staggering it so it's less confusing? No, they have like five 425 games, six 425 games. No, I'm sorry. There's eight 425 games. That's good.

There's a lot of them. Yeah. Yeah, no, they're trying to make it like no one could score board watch, but it's inevitable. That Texans- uh, that Texans Titans game could be good. Titans won that in overtime. The fricking Texans didn't fumble their last possession.

Every game they would have, uh, uh, something that resembled a normal record. Well, it looked like Watson got hurt and then all of a sudden he was fine. Yeah. Yeah. I was watching. I was the only idiot in the country who had Texans on a money line. Everyone else is betting real teams, but you had the Texans on a money line. Everyone else is betting real teams. You had the Texans on a money line? Of course I did, yeah.

Yeah, I didn't think Cincinnati, drunk, hung over from the Steelers win Monday night, and all of a sudden there's Joe Montana back there taking snaps of the Bengals. Well, Buffalo has won seven of their last eight. The only one they lost was that Arizona game, the Hail Mary. Right. They're going to beat the Pats tomorrow night. Mm-hmm.

And then Miami, week 17, it's in Buffalo. Division rival. I assume they're going to try. I don't know why they would throw that game. I would want to be the two seed. I would want to play the worst wild card. I would want to have the momentum. But the Steelers are sitting, guys.

And then avoid the Chiefs. The Steelers are sitting, guys. And then avoid the Chiefs. The Steelers are sitting, everybody, I think. Well, that's just because they, I think because they've had a lot of, what, they played five games in December? Yeah, I guess so. They didn't have a true bye, so, yeah. Yeah.

So, we have Mitch Trubisky, which is great for you. You've been a Trubisky truther for a long, long time. I actually saw on the highlight show today, they were talking about this Bears offense.

Nobody's playing better right now. I'm like, calm down. They beat the Jaguars. Settle down. But Mitch does look a little better. He looks good. You got to be excited. Well, I got Glazer.

What is it? Glazer is calling plays. So it's not all Mitch. Like that happened a few weeks ago. He's calling the offensive plays. Montgomery, like we said, was good for like 1.7 yards of carry. And now he's busting through for touchdowns. David Montgomery. Yeah. The offense is all of a sudden fun. I have a, in a way I'm proud of Mitch cause I'm a true Biscoholic, but I'm not happy for us because I don't want, I don't think that's an automatic bet against in the playoffs for us. I know you were excited if there are seven seed and they're playing, who's the two now Seattle, let's say. How many games in a row do you think they lost this year? 14. No, I don't know. Was it, was it four or five? No, they were, hold on. I know this. They were five and one, right? And then they were five and six.

Was it worse? They lost, they lost six straight games. Six in a row. Yeah. And then in week 14, they beat Houston 36 to seven. They beat Minnesota 33, 27. And they beat Jacksonville 41, 17. And every, and the, in week 14, they lost to Detroit 34, 30.

They almost won that game. So they've scored 30 plus and four straight, but against Detroit, Houston, Minnesota, Jacksonville. Now they're playing green Bay at a must-win game. I don't feel like green Bay is going to roll over if they can get the one

seed. No, they're going to want the one seed. You saw how you saw how intimidating they are in the snow and everything at home. I think we should examine that at some point, that there's no home field advantage yet. All the teams that always win at home are fucking great at home still.

I don't know. Like I'm trying to look at this, like Buffalo six at one Pittsburgh, seven and one at home. The chiefs are six and one. They'll win next week. There'll be seven and one green Bay, seven and one at home,

Seattle, seven and one at home without the 12th man. Like, I don't know. I think there is still a home field advantage. Guys don't get like getting on planes and shit and got some of these older quarterbacks don't want to travel. I think there's a home field advantage this year. Did you see there's

a stack going around that Trubisky and Deshaun? I think Trubisky is has one win more than Deshaun as a starter. Yeah, his first 40 games or something. That's great. Great stuff. So the playoff matchups look like this right now.

Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Buffalo, Baltimore, Tennessee, Miami. And then all that's going to change because there's teams playing each other. If the season ended today in the NFC, New Orleans, Chicago, Seattle and the Rams, a game we just watched, and I don't know if I ever want to watch again, and Washington, Tampa. So out of those choices, what would the Shakey's game be? I feel like it's Washington, Tampa.

You don't think Tennessee, Miami? I think it's Washington, Tampa. I would have thought that, but freaking NBC is putting Washington on their primetime Sunday last game of the year thing. I don't understand that. Oh, well, Tom Brady and Shakey's is not, they don't, first of all, he would never eat that terrible food. Secondly, I don't know. They put him in the early Saturday spot.

I'm not sure. Tompa was patting some stats on Saturday. He's like, oh, cool. Oh, cool. The Lions have quit on their coaching staff, and now their head coach isn't even here. I'm putting up some stats. They had two coaches from CW Post there. Missing a head coach isn't even here. I'm putting up some stats. They had two coaches from CW Post there.

Missing a head coach. They had everyone jump ship for that Lions team. Yeah, that was a good defense to get well against. But he did. I mean, he's throwing to Brown and Godwin and Evans and Gronk killed me with his over touchdowns. Peter Schrager texted me during that game and he was like, they're going to keep throwing to Evans

because they want him to get 1,000 yards for season. Sure enough, like they're up 30 and they threw to him like four straight times. He had to come out. He was tired. All right. We're going to take a break and then we come back. We're going to tell you about Brad Mulcahy's eliminator pool because this was the most fun thing that happened all weekend. Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for Prime members. Involuntary deal squeals can happen, like the deal on new running shoes squeal, the deal on a new blender squeal,

or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal. Save big on electronics, fashion, and more this prime big deal days, October 8th and 9th. All right. We're going to do all the guests, the lines in a second.

And there are a lot of complications and it's, and I almost have to have a cup of coffee. So many things are going on, but before we're it's, it's a lemon sorbet. It's like the eight course meal where we're going to pass you the sorbet for a little palate cleanser.

Our friend Brad, the most insane person either of us know, was in an elimination pool where how many people left? 39? They started with 5,290 people. Before this week, there were 34 remaining. And after the early games, he was one of 10 people left. So he had bears Jaguars with the early game and then bears to win.

Right. Late game. It could have been either team on Cowboys Eagles. Cause he hadn't used those teams. Right. Correct. So that he will use Cowboys last week. He could have used Washington this week.

So he stayed away from Washington, which knocked out another four. So really, before his game, whatever you want to count it, there's like five people left. And he's up 14-3 with the Eagles. And we're texting like, what is this? This is like a Nick Cage movie. This is like one of those alternate universe things where Brad wins a lot of money. Who are we the most afraid of? The people he owes, what he's going to do with it. Where's he going to keep it? There's so many variables.

Yeah. There's a lot of ways he could have lost the money in a way. We don't root for anyone to not succeed but we do appreciate the fact that he is where he is because if he had a lot of money he could gamble it away god forbid it could go on you know hard yeah whatever go on a bender uh also the government you know his paycheck's been garnished for but he's the kind of guy who just does it gets like racks up parking tickets and never pays him. And so the government's always after him. So it's like, he's going to get this money and someone's going to knock at his door and it's going to send them off. Like you said, like, I didn't know what to root for here. I wanted him to win.

And then part of me was like, should we just pull together money and buy him out of this? Because this is, um, I think that's our best scenario here. Other than like a gold fund me. I don't know. Well, we taught, we did a whole long podcast with Brad on your old against all odds feed. think that's our best scenario here other than like a gold fund me i don't know well we thought we did a whole long podcast with brad on your old against all odds feed not the new one you have is against all odds extra points the old one it's still on yes yeah it's still up if you want to hear brad's complete life story it was the most popular podcast we ever did on that feed yeah uh

i we both still get uh emails about it um it. Um, so anyway, Brad's out. So how many people are left? It was like four people left and he's not one of them. And he's, uh, he's despondent. I don't know what to tell him. I mean,

he had to figure out that NFC East. That was, that was it. Like he bet against the jets. He picked against the Jaguars every week as, as long as he could. And then it came down and he had all the NFC East teams. Like you can't figure that out two weeks in a row. And, um, that's what he had to do.

Speaker 2 It's actually legal to figure it out two weeks in a row. And then our, we might as well do our fantasy league thing now. So we went head to head in the keeper league and it came down to can first of all, congratulations. It came down to Kyler Murray getting completely outperformed by Aaron Rodgers. It was literally the difference of 10 points, which is what you beat me by. Well, I'll say this. I'm not celebrating yet because there could be some weird CBS overnight strange shit. And if it does happen, I'm, I fully expect to read that Bill Simmons purchased CBS sports line for $75 million or something overnight. That seems high. That is going to be like a vote dump

in the middle of the night. I'm waiting for it. I'm just waiting. But well, Camaro was the key. I mean, I was about to be the only person in America to lose with Alvin Camaro on my, on my fantasy team. He had like 56 points, but yeah, you had Murray and you had, uh, Hopkins and you needed like 40 out of them and you couldn't get it. I thought I was going to have huge games for both of them. I haven't won a fantasy league in 13 years and I'm becoming like the, like the New York Mets post 86. Last year I had the best team in our old league.

I had the best team by far. I somehow lost. And then this, this time I lose. And it was even worse than that because I didn't even get to enjoy Sunday because there's this random Friday game and Kamara keeps scoring touchdowns. And I'm barely watching because it's Christmas. I have people at my house.

And then it's like, he's got five. And then it's like, should they put him back in for six? I'm like, no. They're like, oh, it's him and Ernie Nevers. They're the only people with six touchdowns. What is happening? Kamara hasn't done anything for two months. Yeah. Well, let me just say. And so happening? Kamara hasn't done anything for two months. Yeah.

Well, let me just say. And so you had 54 points before I even suited up a guy. I was up to like 81% or something. And it got to. Oh, my God. You were 50-50 going because I had nothing out of Lockett. Nothing out of that terrible tight end Everett. I have the second string for the Rams.

It got to 50-50 by the Sunday night game. And I had a decision. Rodgers or Josh Allen. I was like, do I want Josh Allen to stick it to his team? That's extra fun. Make him sweat it out. Or do I want to talk about it on the podcast tonight? And when it came,

you know, Aaron Rogers going for the MVP and everything was a difference for me. I'm like, he's going to throw for touchdowns when he could be handed off to Aaron Jones. And, uh, you know,

I gotta say it's like, it, it, it's special to me because I was the last one you asked. You weren't the last one. You were like, hey, I got one spot left. No, no, no. I was like, you weren't the last one.

I'll get in and I'll beat your ass and that'll be that. But it's good that you lost. It is. It sends a bad message. If you win, you quit. I win my own league. Yeah. You quit a league.

You start another league and then you win. Like that would send a message. I didn't quit a league. I got voted out. Yeah. But then you quit. Like, that would send a message to that. I didn't quit a league. I got voted out. Yeah, but then you quit. You voted me out. I quit every year. It sends a bad message to the kids is all I'm saying.

Second place is nice. What kids? Second place is nice. My Cowboys will come in second. You'll come in second. It's fine. Congratulations. Thank you, buddy.

And thanks for inviting me in. Kyler Murray, I can't believe it. He was my guy all year. Yeah. And it was, I knew in the first draft, he had Kirk in the end zone. He overthrew it. They settled for three.

I'm like, oh, it's going to be one of these games. Great. I'm already down 54 points because Alvin Kamara thought he was Gale Sears. I fell for you, man. No, you definitely didn't. Okay. We're going to try to figure out, guess the lines.

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1800 Gambler.net in West Virginia. All right. The categories for Guest Alliance this week are a little different. I separated them into the following. Oh. First category is AFC playoff spot on the line. Second one is NFC East on the line. Third one's NFC one-seeded stake.

Then we have NFC playoff spot on the line, playoff seeding at stake, and then completely, totally fucking irrelevant will be our last category. So we'll start with the AFC playoff spot at stake, and then completely, totally fucking irrelevant will be our last category. We'll start with the AFC playoff spot on the line. Titans. The relevant one should be Saturday. Keep the Saturday thing going. We'll see Vikings

Lions on Saturday. We don't need to mix it up with all the other fun. Is there a Saturday game? No, there's not. They put them all Sunday because they get scared. Go ahead. Sorry. First one, AFC playoff spot on the line. Titans, Texans in Houston. Titans still have not

clinched the AFC South. Titans somehow have not clinched a playoff spot. I have the Titans by five and a half in Houston. All right. I said six and a half and it's seven as I see it.

And like I said, that game went to overtime last time they played. That could be the upset. Wouldn't that be something? That's why I went lower because they've already played and the game came down to the last play. Yeah, I think they're adding a couple for anybody

who absolutely needs to win against a team that doesn't. Next one. Bills home for the Dolphins. If Miami wins, they are in the playoffs. If they don't win, they can still make it, but they'd need some help. The Bills can get to a two seed if they beat New England and then they beat Miami.

And Pittsburgh loses. You're doing a good job with this. I have to admit. It's like a nice dissertation. Your professor's watching. All right. Thank you. I have the Bills favored by three and a half against the offense.

We split this. I said four and a half. It is four. I mean, these are going to jump all over the place once we find out who's playing, right? Well, that was the tough one with this, because if the Bills say, fuck it, we're playing, we're going for a two seed, this line goes to seven. Fitzpatrick. Fitzpatrick was on Buffalo.

I have a vague memory of that, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's been on so many teams, I can't keep track. What did they do? So, first of all, these are all division games, right? So, they played each other.

Bills won 31-28, probably the second, third week of the year. I remember the Dolphins coming up short there against Fitzmagic. So, it'll be a fun one. I really like Tua. He's been all over the map this season. He's had two games now where it became clear midway through the second quarter that they had to pull them and they waited an extra hour to do it. He's also had a couple and in the Rams game, he got annihilated too. He's also had a couple of games where he looked pretty good.

So I don't, and, and their weapons guys have been hurt. Parker's out. They they've had 17 starting running backs, the whole thing. But, but I just think they have to play Fitzpatrick in this game. I think they blow the playoff spot if they leave to in. Right.

And if they leave them in for the playoffs, you know, Fitzpatrick's not going to probably beat the chiefs in the AFC championship game, but they could win a game. Dolphins could win a game with Fitzpatrick. I don't see it with Tua. It would be funny if they like pulled all their fans. What do you think we should do? I feel like it would be 98% would be like, can you play Fitz, please?

We want to win a playoff game. Yeah. It's like the Dolphins have had a lot of playoff success. And since Dan Marino retired, I don't even know. I think they won like one playoff game this century. I would play Fitzpatrick if they start to. That's insane. Next one is Ravens Bengals.

We didn't talk about the Ravens. We can talk about him right here. It's it's in Baltimore. The Ravens were getting a lot of buzz about the Ravens are back. There's a lot of that going around. Lamar looks like Lamar again. Yeah, he looks like Lamar again when he's playing a shitty

team. I was never concerned about Lamar against bad teams and this year against bad teams, he still looked good. It's when he plays good defenses that it's a problem. I was concerned about him when he took a 40-minute bathroom break.

Other than that, that was a good win. That was the game of the year. That's why everybody was like, he's back. That was a coin flip game. I think they were favored by two or three. That was a great game. I think that people look at that. It was a high profile. Then they beat on these crap teams. Against the Browns

defense that lost to the Jets today? I know. I know. I know. Everyone's got flaws. What are you going to do? He put up 34 against your terrible team, 47 on Cleveland, although he wasn't out there for some of it, 40 against Jacksonville, and 40 against the Giants. People are like, Lamar's back.

I look forward to betting against him in the playoffs. Let's flip the script. You're the Bills. You're a two-seed. Who do you want to play the least? Ravens, Dolphins, Colts. I would want to play the Colts the least because I actually think they're good and they've been their own worst enemy in some of these games.

Yeah. All right. I think Lamar. Really? You'd be afraid of Baltimore the most? I think he'll have a little chip on his shoulder if he gets the playoffs. All right.

Let's see it, Lamar. I have for this game, Ravens, 14 and a half over Cincy. Wow. We both went, and you're going to get this too. I went, I said eight and it's 11 and a half. So you're going to get that. I win that by a half a point. By a half a point.

Wonderful. All right. Remember that though, because we're, we're putting that in a Moneyline parlay. The Ravens, if they win, they're in the playoffs. If they lose, they're not necessarily out of the playoffs, but they need some help.

The Browns are the most confusing one to me. So, Browns are home for the Steelers. Pittsburgh can clinch A two seed If Buffalo wins If Buffalo loses one of the next two Odds are they're not going to lose one of the next two I could see Pittsburgh Not playing anybody in this game

This is why week 17 Is a nightmare to bet on Because this might be Pittsburgh's second string Against the Browns I could tell you right now, and you'd win the pick, what Vegas and FanDuel are thinking as to whether or not they will start anyone. But I did not have that information, so I'm not going to give it to you. But go ahead. What do you think the line is? Well, I'm going to give you a couple more scenarios. All right. The Browns are out if they lose and the Dolphins, Ravens, and Colts win.

There's also weird scenarios where if they lose and the Dolphins lose but the Ravens and Colts win, they're out. There's like weird tiebreaker shit with them. And I don't know how Tennessee factors into this. I don't know either.

Basically, Cleveland, just try to win the game. I have the Browns favored by five points over the Steelers. Okay, you're going to get it. I said four and a half. Right now, it's seven. So they are for sure thinking that Pittsburgh is sitting everybody.

So what do we make of the Browns? Because they had no receivers today, and it's hard to hang that weird Jets game on them. I didn't love the coaching. But I still feel like I don't know if I'd want to see them in the playoffs because they have some elite players. I think it's tough to take all your receivers from you. I really do.

I think it's really hard to say, hey, this is Austin Hooper. You're going to throw to him 47 times. And that's going to be your recipe. Who was the other guy who dropped like seven passes the other tight end? They were like, he was a Mackey Award winner. This is Austin Hooper. You're going to throw to him 47 times. And that's going to be your recipe. Who was the other guy who dropped like seven passes the other tight end? They were like, he was a Mackey Award winner. Oh, Joku? No, not Joku, the other guy.

There's a third guy who a couple times was open and the ball would just hit his hands. And then he was a Mackey Award winner. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, it's a disaster. And I don't know what to, what was it was a hot tub thing. Like I kind of lost faith in the fact that they were still doing COVID tests. Like, I don't know how it is by you, but I feel like by you, you're a few miles from me. I feel like a lot of people I know are starting to get it now.

And the NFL stopped producing positive tests right when everyone I knew started getting it. And and, you know, there were gurneys and gift shops and shit like that. What is the NFL doing? Are they just not keeping track anymore? And then this happened, but it happened in a hot tub. Jay Glazer said it was a hot tub situation that these four guys became, whatever you want to say, COVID suspicious. One of them got it.

They won't say who has it and who just had too much close proximity that had to be taken off the roster. But it gave me a little hope to know that the NFL was playing by rules. But with everyone back next week, I think they win this game. COVID suspicious is the worst porn movie title I've ever heard. I think they win this game too. Why is Pittsburgh going to care about this game? What do they care if they're a two-seater

or a three-seater? They need the rest. They just played five games in 20 days. It's true. That's true. They'll always play defense though. That's the only thing. The last one, Colts-Jaguars. Colts need one of Miami, Cleveland, Baltimore to lose, but they can also win the AFC South

if they win and Tennessee loses. They're playing a really terrible team that doesn't want to win anymore. It's in Indianapolis. I have the Colts favored by 14 points. Damn, you get it. I said 12.5. It's 13.5.

Again, we won't get too much money back on that. That's couch cushion change, but money line parlay. Boom. All right. So here's how this probably plays out. Titans beat the Texans. Bills beat the Dolphins. Ravens beat the Bengals.

Browns beat the Steelers. Colts beat the Jaguars. And if that's the case, ring around the rosy Miami's out oh if Miami loses right so that's the I think Miami's the most likely team to lose out of those five well yes Vandal and Vegas will tell you yes because the line's only

four but I think the Titans Texans I'm not betting the Titans anytime soon I don't like what I saw today so you could conceivably Titans, Texans. I'm not betting the Titans anytime soon. I don't like what I saw today. So you could conceivably, if you're like Miami's going to be the one that gets bounced, you could bet on Tennessee, Baltimore, Cleveland, Indianapolis, and then on Buffalo as a five-team parlay.

And it's basically the Miami's going home team. But then you'd be betting against Fitzpatrick in week 17 when he's the Johnny Unitas in week 17. I forgot about that. The likely scenario is Miami getting voted out. But I'm with you. Tennessee, I could see. They've had some stinkers this year. They just look soft for a team that

runs all over everybody. I mean, they lost. I know they lost that game to the Browns. It ended up being by like six points, but they were losing by four touchdowns at half. They were losing this game. Yeah, this game wasn't as close as when they just played as the final score. And you got to catch them on a good week. You know, the other thing, Houston doesn't have their first or second pick,

so it's not like they're trying to tank or do anything for the draft, so they might as well try to win. I saw that one thing that Laramie Tunsil is a top, that trade they made for him, that that pick is now a top five pick. And the other thing I saw that was weird about picks is the Giants could win the division or draft as high as third. Seriously?

Is that amazing? Yeah. Oh my God. Some things have to break a certain way, but. Speaking of the Giants, we're going to our next category, the NFC East. Two games, Cowboys, Giants, Eagles, Washington. We'll start with, well, I'll give you the scenarios. If Washington wins, they clinch.

Dallas makes it if they win and Washington loses. The Giants make it if they win and Washington loses. Ph Giants make it if they win and Washington loses. Philly's out of it. Philly's out. The Philly fans have been put out of their misery. Now they can go on to freaking out about Markel Fultz, who lit it up again for Orlando. And I'm not even sure that was Elton Brand's worst trade.

Giving away Markel Fultz for a top 20 protected pick of Jonathan Simmons when Markel Fultz was 20 years old. Markel Fultz for a top 20 protected pick of Jonathan Simmons. When Markel Fultz was 20 years old. Markel Fultz now is like a legitimate keeper. And they gave him away for like 10 cents on the dollar. And it might not have been one of his three worst trades. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

That's not part of the process, you don't think? It's a different process? He was the bathroom process. Cowboys, Giants, it's in Dallas. The Giants just look... It's in New York, right? Oh, it's in New York? Yeah, it's in New York.

Yeah. Oh, good catch. Well, it's not going to change my opinion on the line. The Giants have just looked awful. Yeah. It's like they were Band-Aid and scotch tape, and they kind of tricked us to thinking they were frisky

and the defense and meanwhile they were just playing shitty offenses yeah offenses and show up your team can move the ball and the rejuvenated

Ezekiel Elliott rejuvenated I have the Cowboys favored by four and a half oh well that's a little silly I said plus two Giants plus two I have the Cowboys favored by four and a half. Oh, well, that's a little silly. I said,

plus two giants, plus two. It's plus two and a half. So I get it. Cowboys plus two and a half. This is Cowboys minus two and a half. Cowboys minus two and a half. This is still the Cowboys.

Let's not get crazy. Let's please not get crazy. I know they have all of the shiny parts, but, um, it's Mike McCarthy. Listen, it's more fun for the NFL, for football fans, for America, and for society at large if Dallas wins the NFC East. Because then we would have Dallas against Tampa.

Probably, yeah. On Saturday night in the Blood Diamond Memorial Tears game. The Saturday night Blood Diamond game. Dallas-Tampa. You know that'll be the game. They have to do that one. That one makes sense. And then, I don't know. Tampa losing to Dallas would be fucking hilarious.

Can I just... Did Freddie Kitchens call the offense again? I didn't check up on this. Was Jason Garrett back? Because you know that's going to happen. Jason Garrett comes back next week and just demoralizes the Cowboys defense. Oh, that's another good one. That'd be the funniest of all. So many fun things.

God, I'm really having a good time. The other one is Eagles-Washington. This one's in Philly. Right. Washington needs to win. So it's either Haskins who was so bad that I, I won't even read some of Joe has his texts, his disappointment in Haskins.

But, um, yeah, but he bought, he bought it back and his post post game presser. He kind of said it is what it is, which is what you want to hear from quarterback who really just needs to win seven games to take the division.

He was truly terrible in that game. And that was his weird moment. Fourth and 19. There's a timeout and he ran on the field and it seemed like he was replacing Heineken, but it was like he came out to tell him something and then he ran back and there was like silence from the announcers. Did you see that?

Yeah. That was so weird. Right. And then everybody else was like, what's Haskins doing? I don't know if he was asking the guy for $1 bills for tonight or what's going on. No, I just need to tell you, change of plans. We're not going to attend a trap. We're going to be at the nifty nipple.

All right. Okay. Do your thing. Try to win. I think every time somebody mentioned Haskins all week, it was like Dwayne Haskins stripped of his captaincy. It's like Dwayne Haskins was a captain? What kind of team is this?

Is that even going to be in the NFL next year? Oh, what a mess that Washington team is. Well, Washington can win the NFC if they just beat the Eagles who gave up 730 passing yards today Jesus I somehow It's just because of the quarterback situation I could not go higher than Washington by one

Yeah, you were closer I thought Washington Oh, Washington by one Yeah I said Eagles by three and a half And it is Eagles by three and a half. And it is Eagles by one and a half. So who gets that?

I think I do, right? You got it. Yeah. Yeah, I get that. So with that said, Eagles favored, Cowboys favored. Cowboys winning the division is the favored outcome. So the Eagles gave up 38 straight points today? Yeah, it sounds right. And they're favored in the next game

against the team that is favored to win the NFC East. What a division. I don't see them doing Dallas any favors either. This division was like a documentary. Beautiful. So who do we think is actually winning this division? I would say the Cowboys. It is weird that they're favored,

and they're favored to win the division right now, now that I look at it. It can't happen. I'm telling you. Jason Garrett, he's a snake. I know he's got something in store. There's going to be some dumb trick play where Daniel Jones catches a touchdown,

runs 70 yards after a screen pass that he catches. So Jason Garrett beating the Cowboys and knocking them out of the playoff spot that not only did you not want your body was rejecting it like a kidney transplant for weeks on end. And then somehow he could still fuck you out of another playoffs, even though he's out of your life. So that's a pretty good scenario. I was thinking the other really good scenario. I hope Kyle's videotaping this because this is a social media breakout, this whole combo. If I've ever heard one.

Um, the other one is Alex Smith. Just they figure out a way to get him out there for week 17. He's got like freaking two by fours strapped to both of his legs. He's right. And he's out there. And it's basically the any given Sunday Dennis Quaid scenario

where to teach Willie Beam in a lesson, he goes out an incredible amount of pain and just is awesome for a half but gets the shit kicked out of him. And then halftime, Ron Rivera gives the Pacino speech and Haskins, who was counting dollar bills in front of his locker

getting ready for that night, gets so inspired. He starts walking toward Rivera, you know, like Jamie Foxx in the movies. The words are just, and then he goes in and Haskins wins the game in the second half for Alex Smith and the Washington team. And then instead of going to the strip joint that night, just goes home. Stuffs the dollar bills down Ron Rivera's bra, goes out there, wins the game.

He takes a wad of $1 bills and puts it in Rivera's fanny pack. Unbelievable. And then goes out there and throws two touchdowns. And then Joe House buys a Haskins jersey. That's the other scenario. One of those two, I don't know. What a division.

We're going to take a break and then do the rest of the lines. Okay. Man, we still have more games with playoff implications. This seven seed is really something. The NFC, one seed at stake. Three games here. Packers, Bears, Saints, Panthers, Seahawks, 49ers. If the Packers beat the Bears, they are a one seed. If the Bears beat the Packers,

they make the playoffs. The Bears can make the playoffs anyway, if the Cardinals lose. So those are all of our scenarios there. And then, right. Okay. If the Packers lose, then the Saints can beat the Panthers. They, okay, sorry. If the Packers lose, then the Saints can beat the Panthers. They become the one seed. If the Packers and Saints lose, the Seahawks can then somehow sneak in if they beat the Niners. And if all three teams lose, I don't know

what the fuck happens. No, but if they're all 12-4, it gets... It gets super... Yeah, because then we have conference records and who the hell knows. We need Kornacki here. This gets too crazy. Kornacki, they screwed him. He was doing his thing today and the graphic wouldn't come up. And he started doing it on memory.

It was really impressive. So what do you think happened? So when CNN, when they touch the screen, I believe that they're actually touching the screen and it's making shit change. And the Sunday night, I don't even think they care. They're just like they're reading his cadence. And when he goes to point, they change it. Except they forgot to change it. Like normally I think he has control over his

actual, his tangible control over the board. But yeah, they did screw him. They didn't switch the screen on him. I have used those when I did the NBA draft with Jalen those two years. Yeah. I got to use the touch screen. You did. And I really took it seriously. And I really wanted to do well when I did it

I think one of them was on YouTube but it was like we're moving players around it works but it's hard because you're also trying to remember what you're saying but at the same time you're it's these two different muscles that aren't related to each other and you're also

being you're on live television you're like playing a video game and cooking dinner at the same time. Right, it's like you're playing Miss Pac-Man while you're also talking to five people. All right, NFC One Seed. The Packers are in Chicago. This to me was the classic. I think I nailed this. The classic three and a half.

You're going to be closer. I don't know why I nailed this. The classic three and a half. You're going to be closer. I don't know why I said three. I really leaned in on the Bears needing it more, but it's four and a half. So you get that. Is this, I want to ask for one thing. How about this game is good. How about they make this game good? They talk about this being the greatest rivalry of all of football.

Can you remember one Packers bears game that meant anything? There was a playoff game about six or seven years ago where I don't even remember the bears quarterback's name, but he was in there because Cutler got hurt. Maybe it was more than seven years ago. I don't know. Yeah. I remember that game. Yeah.

Kyle Orton. Was it Orton? I don't even know if it was Orton. It was Henny. Now I don't know what it was. Cowboy Bob Orton. Itny Cowboy Bob Orton? It was Cowboy Bob Orton He still had the cast on and they lost

Green Bay won and went to the championship But for the greatest rivalry In football can we have a memorable game Between these two teams? I think this should be the one I remember When the Cleo Mack trade That first Monday night game was a good one Remember that? They made the trade and Cleo Mack Showed up first Monday night game was a good one. Remember that? They'd made the trade and Cleo Mack

showed up against Rodgers. That was a fun one. Other than that, I can't remember a single Bears-Packers game. Greatest rivalry. Who says this is the best rivalry? Everybody. They kicked off the 100th year with this game. I think that's what you're talking about.

To kick off the 100th NFL season, no better rivalry is going to do it. And it's going to be Packers bet. Like it gets me crazy. I think Kingsbury,

Anthony Lynn, even though they've never coached against each other, that's going to be the best rivalry. Well, yeah. Let's see how this Washington Philly thing

turns out. All right. Second one, Saints in Carolina to play the Panthers where I feel like Drew Brees has lost 12 times in his career. It's probably been

three, but it was a loud three. I bumped this a little high just because they know that we know we want to tease this. So I put it at Saints 7.5, which I think is going to be too high. Oh, wow. You're right. It is too high. I said 4.5. Oh, wow. You're right. It is too high. I said four and a half. It's five.

Hmm. And I don't know that Alvin Kamara's miracle game means that Drew Brees is back. What were his numbers? Is he 19 for 26 with two interceptions? Am I reading that right? He looks like he doesn't seem happy, Drew Brees. Yeah. Because he's 11 broken ribs. Yeah Yeah he's got broken ribs protecting his heart

I think you're right though when he goes to Carolina It's sunny He has to wear the eye black He wears it unnecessarily This could be a little bit of a trap game The Panthers look good today I'm going to dislike Alvin Kamara for the rest of my life Every time I see his face Or hear his name Panthers look good today. I'm going to dislike Alvin Kamara for the rest of my life.

Every time I see his face or hear his name, I'm going to think of the time he ruined my Christmas. Yeah. When he scored 54 points in our fantasy league, which had only been done 19 other times in the history of football. And he did it against my team that was trying to win a fantasy title on Christmas. How about I almost lost? I would have been the only idiot in the country who lost with Alvin Kamara on his roster.

Last one. You're not sorry. Seahawks at San Francisco. I'm not doing the Seahawks are back thing. We should talk about that game. That was the one game we didn't talk about. The Rams? Seahawks? Yeah.

Because Jared Goff's another one on my do not bet list. I'm never doing it again. Brother Bri, everybody wishing Jared Goff that he should die. All this stuff. I was like, oh man. I don't wish he dies. I just wish he wouldn't play football on a game that I gambled

on anymore. Goff is the perfect zigzag though, right? He has a bad game and then Sean McVay sits him down and it's like, alright. Oh, then it looks human again. It didn't happen. Didn't zag today, Bill. Didn't zag for real. I feel like I nailed that game. I had it perfect. I didn't

think the Seahawks were going to be able to move the ball. And I thought the Rams only needed 20 points and they were going to win. And it was just like, just steer the car, Jared. Just steer it straight. You see those signs and those guardrails? Don't hit those. Just keep it straight. Keep it between

the two dotted lines. That's all you have to do. Hand the ball off. Do some play action. He just couldn't do it. He threw the worst pick. First of all, Aikman never gets mad at QBs ever. It's like this weird QB. He's all over. He's like a kinship thing.

And he was destroying them for an hour. Yeah, I liked it. But he threw that one interception. They do the replay from behind Goff. And Aikman's like, Joe, I don't know what he was looking at there. I just, I don't know who that was to, Joe. I have no idea.

Yeah. And it's the same thing. Like, oh, Aaron Donald's great and Leonard Floyd, I think, had five tackles or something, two sacks. You don't need to do much to win. But the one thing I'll say about Russ, and people will be like, the Seahawks are back.

One thing I'll say is, he doesn't have to throw four touchdowns for them to win anymore. Right? It doesn't have to be 34-30 anymore. Especially if they're playing have to be 34-30 anymore, especially if they're playing a team like the Rams. I don't know how many more offenses there are like that in the playoffs,

but they'd be lucky to meet up with the Rams again. Sometimes they overreact when somebody makes an awesome play, but Adams did make an unbelievable play in that game when he came across the entire field to tackle Henderson, who's going in the end zone. And I have no idea how he read it. It was like watching a video game when somebody's character has super powers. He's on the right side of the line. He gets the snap perfectly

and just started sprinting to the other side and tipped him by a sneaker. And then the Rams ended up not punching it in. And that was the game. And that was the best play I saw all day. Teaser killer. I thought I was so smart. Adding six, getting seven and a half with the Rams. It was a good all game, except for... Well, we're going to hit the Rams in a second. I have the Seahawks by four and a half in San Francisco.

Although it's not San Francisco. I get it. It's three and a half. I said three. You're beating me again this week. One, two, three. I'm like the Steelers. I started out great.

It's six to five. You can still catch up here. All right. Next category. NFC playoff spot on the line. Rams, Cardinals. This is in LA. Cardinals can make it if they win and the Bears lose.

There's a world in which the Rams don't make it. And I had the Rams to win the division, which I forgot, and then bet the Rams again today when the move, I should have bet the Seahawks and just hedged it because I had great, I had like plus 850 Rams to win the division. I'm a moron.

Don't forget that. But this is really a loser leaves town match. And I don't understand why they wouldn't have made this a Sunday night game unless they were afraid of the bears winning. No, I think they're afraid of golf, not playing because the, the backup is this guy,

John Wolford from wake forest. Yeah. I don't think they want to be stuck with Wolford, although they might be stuck with Heineken instead. So I don't know what the difference is really. But yeah, I'd rather see this game than the Eagles-Washington team. I thought Blake Bortles was their backup

and I was really disappointed. I don't know who John Wolford is. Wake Forest, baby. I'm on the board. I'll put in a good word for you. That's our agent, James Bable. So is there a line on this? There is no line on this.

But I would have said if Goff with a wrapped up thumb starts, I would have thought four and a half. What do you think? The wrapped up thumb was the excuse Goff needed. I would have said four or four and a half. Okay. But yeah, the Cardinals, it's a pretty nice spot for them all of a sudden because the Packers actually need that Bears game.

The Cardinals, who have really looked like dog crap for two months, they're going against a QB who's going to have a broken thumb. And I still feel like Cliff Kingsbury can screw this up. Yeah. Yeah. It's a monumental game for Cliff Kingsbury to get in at 9 and 7 against beating the Rams would be a big spot.

Cliff's going to be coaching like... Does Pepperdine have a football team? I'm trying to think of like a... I don't think so. No, they don't. He's going to be coaching who? Give me some... Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo. They do have a team.

Okay, that's Cliff's next job. Cliff, we're on to you. Do you know the Rams could get that five spot? Yeah. Who do you... The Rams... They could win. If they win and Tampa loses,

they're playing the Giants, Washington, Philly, or Dallas, win or whatever. Rams defense is among the people I feel the worst for this season. Sure. Because they went toe-to-toe with Seattle for like 52 minutes, and then Goff finally fucked up again. And they had that thing. They showed Jalen Ramsey kind of consoling Goff

before he went back on the field. And then their defense rolled over. And that was when you got some Tyler Lockett fantasy points. You're going to read about the Rams defense and Deshaun Watson opting out. And then like, oh yeah, COVID scares you. Like, no, we're just sick of our teams. We just can't.

We keep showing up and nothing's reciprocated and it's terrible. It's so funny when you, when you watch that live though, when you know the defense has kind of lost the will to live where it's like, all right, fine.

We get another stop. It's not going to help. We're not, we're not, our offense isn't scoring. We're, we're screwed. Yeah.

We need to pick six. Otherwise we're done. Last one. Uh, with any sort of playoff implications is bucks Falcons. It's in Tampa. Falcons had yet another miraculous loss today. Coup.

Coup. My guy missed it to tie it. Would have sent it to OT. Tampa's just has stepped in shit this whole season. It's amazing. You can't give them credit. It's amazing. I just can amazing. You can't give them credit. I just can't. You can't do it.

It's like, look at them destroy this Detroit team that is on their third coach. I have the Bucs by eight. I got this exactly right. It's only six right now. Because the Falcons are a dumb team. The Falcons were, they played what? Two weeks ago?

Last week? They played last week, right? Falcons were winning by 10 or 13. No, they were up by two touchdowns. Two touchdowns? 14. Yeah. That sounds right.

But yeah, like I said, if the Bucs lose and the Rams win, the Rams get that five seed going against the NFC East winner. The Bucs are in regardless. They're in. There you go. I think we nailed all the scenarios. Yep. Four more games. We'll go through them regardless. There you go. I think we nailed all the scenarios. Yep. Four more games.

We'll go through them quick. Vikings at Detroit. Yeah, just go through it. Yeah. I had the Vikings by three. I had three also, and it's six. Oh, really? They're giving up on the Lions.

I think they've seen enough. Any offense that could produce 150 yards. I was driving yesterday, listening to the radio announcers talk about the Lions and Matt Stafford because he had gotten hurt. And they were like, could this have been his last Lions game? And the other guy was like, I hope not. He's had such a great career for them. I'm like, he has?

I can't remember two Matt Stafford playoff games. You know, I can't either. And then theyord playoff games. You know, I can't either. And then they put up stats like quickest to 10,000 yards or something stupid. Like it's him. It's Rogers. It's all the good, you know,

it's all the greats. But you and I think of him as just a guy who gets fourth quarter. Pat, they call him pad Stafford. Our friend, Rob Parker calls him a pad, pad Stafford, pad Statford.

Yeah. That's what it is. Pad Stafford, pad Statford. Yeah, that's what it is. Pad Statford? Pad Statford. Yeah, it's a little stretch. But yeah. And then people really defend them. Like, this team would be so much worse without him.

You don't want to see what it's like. Well, see what it's like on Thanksgiving. Can't be that much worse. Yeah. I would take him for the Patriots over Cam Newton. Oh, God, yeah. Next one. Chiefs, Chargers. I don't know what to do with this one.

Let me check this one. We might want to skip. Let me see what they're doing. Chiefs have clinched everything, but Mahomes still has MVP campaign stuff, maybe. Sure he does. Andy Reid, I'm sure there's some specific way he plays this scenario in Week 17,

but if you remember a few years ago, this was when they started Mahomes in that one game. That's right. And they clinched everything. So my guess is they're throwing this game away. I don't see a line on this. All right. I would have said Chiefs by three.

I had three also. I just haven't seen anything. Patriots-Jets. Sad one. I had the Pats by four. Oh, wow. Oh, you're going to get it, too. I had 11, and it's seven.

The Jets are pretty frisky. And then, last but not least, the Broncos. You know, the Jets will try here, right? I guess they'll try. Yeah, yeah, because they're locked into the two. I didn't realize that. Why wouldn't they try? All right.

Broncos- Raiders. I had the Broncos by one at home over the Raiders. Wait, you need to win this to tie me, and you don't get it. I said Broncos two and a half. It's two. Ah. So I win that. Weird week to win, but.

And now it's 9-6-2 in your favor out of 17 weeks. Wow, you're still in there. You haven't been mathematically eliminated yet. I guess I have to win the last four. You have to win all the playoff rounds. Even though I lost, I'm going to give you this gift. Even though you beat me in fantasy and you beat me in guest lines. I thought of a nickname for James Harden.

What is it? Jimbo Slice. Because he's really looking like Kimbo. He beefed up. He really looks like Kimbo Slice now. Just Jimbo Slice. I was saying it's good. I didn't trade market.

I didn't do the Jimbo thing, but it's funny. I said he looked like Kimbo Slice a couple of weeks ago when that picture came out. Jimbo Slice puts up 44 against Portland. It's really good. Yeah.

All right. It's time for Parent Corner. Oh, yeah. All right. It's time for Parent Corner. Oh, yeah. All right. It's time for Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax. This is our last CarMax read of 2020. By the time we finish 2021, both South Sun and my daughter will be driving. Maybe they'll be using CarMax, America's number one used car retailer.

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Actually, I didn't see the kids at all this week. No, no, I did. You celebrate Christmas, right, Bill? Yes. So we have a tradition in our family that goes back before I was born. Like our cousin Jimmy was around for the first of these. And that's that my father dresses at Santa. I have to be careful that the little one, although you'll see that it doesn't really matter. But my father dresses as Santa and gives all the kids in the family a gift. You know, the parents set aside one gift. And, oh, this is from Santa. It's in different wrapping paper from all the others. So my father has the same suit that he's had since 1968,

same fricking one, same gloves, same everything beard. I guess he's got new cotton for the beard and he just sticks a pillow on his stomach, but he's now going to be 80 years old next year. So it takes him a little longer to get in the suit and he's dressing. And I'm watching the door to make sure none of the kids see him walk in. And then all of a sudden a hearty, oh, and usually we have a lot of kids around, all the kids in the family. But because of COVID, it was just my three boys. My two oldest ones, no already.

And like I said, he's been doing it for for Jimmy was the first one to figure it out 52 years ago or 48 years ago, probably when he was four, that Santa was my father. So it's basically over because my youngest kid figured it out. He sits on my father's lap. My father doesn't really try to change his voice at all, which is a bad thing. And then after Santa went away, even though my son got exactly what he had asked Santa for in the list he sent, he's like, yeah, that was Papa. And I was like, ah, shit. It's like, yeah. Why do you think that? He's like, well, no, because he smelled like Papa and he talked just like him. He smelled like him. I was like, dad, I don't know. We got to, we got to, we got to spray you with uh some pine

or some kind of criss-cringle dust or something next time but i think it's over a tradition a 53 year old tradition wait a second though what about what about billy kimmel so that the younger ones too i guess yes if covid uh ever you know uh shows some relief and we can get all the kids together we could do it. But in my family, as far as my spawn is concerned, it's over. But I guess, yeah, he could do it. He'll be 81. A little sad.

Well, to add on top of all the sadness around us. Jesus. You have something better. Your family is big on sense. Because when we went to Italy once, the guy who was working on the, the big house we were staying in, he had this BO that reminded you and Jimmy of who's your grandfather? My grandfather. Yeah.

Mine and Jimmy's, uh, uh, grandfather. Yes. I bought the shirt from the guy. Yes. Then at the end of the trip, you bought his BO shirt. Yeah. You brought it back to the United States. I did.

Cause it smelled like your grandfather. It really did. It smelled just like him. Then two weeks later, it didn't smell like him. And I tried to send it back. And the guy's like, no. No fucking deal. Then you put it on eBay and there were no takers. Right. That's it. My parent corner, I have a twist. We have to

bring in nephew Kyle for this one. Nephew Kyle. Come on in. So you can't come on the FaceTime? Are you afraid to see us? Come on, Kyle. What are you doing? Come on, Kyle. Don't be a dick.

Where is he? There he is. Oof. All right. Yeah, maybe you should go off. So we had a distance hang with nephew Kyle and his lovely girlfriend And my wife's parents Otherwise known as my father and mother-in-law

Right And my children We hung out outside for a couple hours And during the course of those couple hours I realized that Kyle was going to be covering this week's Parent Corner Because of the bunny story Kyle, you have to tell Sal the bunny story. Oh, shit.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, you got it. All right. It's almost like nephew corner. Yeah, I guess. So we went to this exotic fish store because I got a fish and I was like tired of going to Petco. And so I was like, what else is out there?

We went to this exotic fish store and just looking to see what was out there. And there was this rabbit on the floor in this cage that was super small. And my girlfriend wanted to save it and I did the absolutely not, whatever. So then it wears on me after three days, we get it. I go back to New York this summer in August. And this rabbit gives birth to six bunnies while I'm home in New York. And she took the day off, handled it. And they're still alive and they're still in my care, in our care, I should say. Don't skimp on the story. This goes way deeper. What? What else is there? The bunnies are separated, male and female, because they don't want them to reproduce

because bunnies literally will fuck like rabbits. That's what they call it, rabbit, yeah. There's been two male bunnies that had an altercation that was pretty violent, right? Now they're separated. So they're in three different spots in my apartment. And it's an apartment, it's not a house. And his girlfriend may or may It's not a house. And his girlfriend

may or may not have gotten a stroller so she could take all the bunnies for a walk. I was really hoping you were going to say that. Yeah, that was the best part. So they have a stroller now. And she takes them for bunny walks. And then, you know, my wife, we have four freaking dogs.

And my wife's listening to this going, I'll adopt one of the bunnies. I was like, no, no, I'm out. It's me or the bunny. There's no way we're getting one of these bunnies. It's not happening. We're not taking a bunny. I thought I had her with that one. And then she, my wife and my two kids have been asking all weekends if we can get one of the bunnies.

And I'm like, we just got this puppy and I'm the only one watching it. The kids are like, they barely do anything. Oh, that's awesome. And so Kyle has six. How many bunnies do you have? Six or seven? Five.

Five. Wait, I might've missed this. You started with one. You started with two. You had to start with one, but she was pregnant. Oh,

it was a pregnant one. Oh, okay. Cause they didn't know the pet store snookered them. Wow. Interesting. Do you think the pet store knew?

No, definitely not. This place is a disaster. Bill, just take a boy and a girl bunny. You'll be fine. It sounds terrible. So then she's like, I have to try to get people to adopt the bunnies. So we're like, well, we'll talk about it on Parent Corner. Maybe somebody will hit up Kyle in the L.A. area and we'll adopt one of the bunnies. We'll have to vet them now. So we were like, well, we'll talk about it on Parent Corner Maybe somebody will hit up Kyle in the LA area And we'll want to adopt one of the bunnies We'll have to vet them now, so we'll see

What do these bunnies do? I still don't understand What's fun about having a bunny part You'd have to ask her, I don't know What do they do? Do they just shit little bunny pellets? Yeah, they're not They seem like they're potty trained

But they're not, so you can't really do much Yeah, they're nasty I had two like they're potty trained, but they're not, so you can't really do much. Yeah, they're nasty. I had two growing up, Hokey and Pokey, and if we let them out of the cage, they weren't playful. They would just sprint the freak out of there. You have to worry about wires and stuff. It's a rough one.

There's one more piece to this. Kyle, you have to tell Sal the names of the bunnies. Yeah, I won't do it. No, you have to. No, I won't do it. the bunnies Yeah I won't do it No you have to You have to You have to tell the names You have to do it or I'm going to tweet the names It'll be worse if I tweet you just have to say it Just say it on the pod

I'm going to say it really fast you ready Winona Alistair Harley Oh shit I forgot two of them Was there a Fernando No Topanga Harley. Oh, shit. I forgot two of them. Was there a Fernando? No. Topanga. And

Hey, buddy. Alistair Topanga. He's asking for a lifeline. What's the other one? He doesn't even know the five names. That was all of them. That was all of them. This is like Jay-Z as a child.

What are you naming these kids? I didn't name them. Topanga. Do you live in Topanga? I like that they have exotic names. I live in the heart of Hollywood with five rabbits. Yeah, that's what I thought. Five rabbits that you can see every once in a while

when his girlfriend's walking them around in a stroller. But the rabbits are okay. You said they can't co-mingle, but they're okay for that stroller? The girls are together because they can't get each other pregnant and they don't fight each other. The guys are separate. In a different stroller or separate in a stroller? What the hell's going on here?

What are you talking about? I really wish you didn't bring this up. Kyle's like running a troubled youth center, but it's buddies, not humans. These buddies have to be separated. So wait, is there two strollers or one? There's one stroller and it's currently disassembled. We're not taking walks.

It was an idea, but it's not happening. Oh, you're not taking walks. Good idea. Your girlfriend made it seem like there were some bunny walks. Oh, there was like one. There was one initially. And then I decided on the walk that I was never going to do it again. So they're not getting exercise on the walks, right?

They're sitting in the stroller. I see. I told him what I would do. I would take the bunnies for a one-way ride to a different part of LA. Yeah. And then she comes back from work and said, where take the bunnies for a one-way ride to a different part of LA. Yeah. And then she comes back from work and is like, where are the bunnies? I don't know. They must have gotten out.

I think that's what my father, a.k.a. Santa Claus, did. He got rid of it. He took our drive. I mean, maybe Carmack could sponsor that drive. He'd take them on. By the way, I'm kidding about taking the bunnies for the ride, because I think Pete actually listens to this podcast. They're going to get mad. Pete is going to make sure you're taking care of the bunnies for the ride because I think Pete actually listens to this podcast. They're going to get mad.

Pete is going to make sure you're taking care of the bunnies properly. It's not an option. We're taking them for a ride to a beautiful bunny farm. That's what you mean. The only way this story would get better and funnier is if the bunnies somehow managed to reproduce and then they had 15 bunnies. Apparently, they could do it through the cage

so they're on separate sides of the room. They could do it through the cage? they're on separate sides of the room. They could do it through the cage? That's what we heard from one person. They're like, I didn't believe it until I thought, but they can spray through the cage. I was like, this is insane. I have a really good idea, I think. I think you should give a couple or all the bunnies

to our friend Brad as a consolation prize for losing this eliminated. Yeah, Brad will take care of them. Yeah. That'd be great. I think he would like Alistar the most. Yeah, Brad will take care of him. Yeah. That'd be great. I think he would like Alistar the most. Yeah, yeah.

Just throw him in the stroller. Or Topanga. He'll be fine. The stroller will be his only mode of transportation. All right, Kyle, thanks for joining us at Parent Corner this week.

Nice job, Kyle. All right, that was Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax, America's number one used car retailer. Car buying, car selling the way it should be.

Check them out today at CarMax.com. Oh, that was great. All right, Sal, what do you got for us? Well, I am the highest scoring Larchmont League champ of all time in the finals game. Congrats. I don't know what to say. Extra points, extrapoints.com. It's me, it's Charlotte Wilder, Dave Damaschek.

Against all odds on Tuesday, Lemon Pepper Parley, Waverwired. Check it all out on Extra points.com. It's me. It's Charlotte Wilder, Dave Damoshek. Against All Odds on Tuesday. Lemon Pepper Parley. Waver Wired. Check it all out on extrapoints.com. Fox Bet Live. I'm working every day this week, Simmons. We don't even get off for New Year's Day. We're going up against Alabama Notre Dame on that stupid show.

That stupid cable show. We're going up against that. Jesus. That's it. No're going up against that. Jesus. That's it. But no, I'm not complaining. Happy New Year to everybody. Merry Christmas. Hey, thank you for the deep dish I did.

I had a nice celebratory dinner at the deep dish. You went crazy with the gold belly for me. I love gold belly. My God. And you really hooked me up. They have some good deep dishes. They really do. You know what happens with the gold belly?

It's popular now and everybody sends you shit. I said to my wife, I'm like, Melissa, we have to eat all of this the week of the 26th because we're going on a diet January 3rd. So now it's just deep dish every meal, thanks to you. And it was excellent. That's great. I love overeating on the holidays.

It's very enjoyable. Cuz next time I see you it will be in 2021 and thank God yeah good job by you good job by you Billy that's it for the BS podcast

don't forget a new Rewatchables coming tomorrow night me Van Lathan and Sean Fennessey breaking down Mr. Holland's Opus and really laying into

Mr. Holland if you want to hear three people make fun of Mr. Holland's opus, this is the podcast for you. We all kind of like the movie, though. You can check that out. I have at least one more new podcast coming this week as well on this feed. Stay tuned for that.

Stay safe. Talk to you soon. I don't have.