The Bill Simmons Podcast - Dallas Gets Crushed, Miami’s Tua Problem, Detroit’s Big Night, and Rookie QB Magic With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Cowboys' loss to the Packers in what was likely Mike McCarthy's last game as head coach (1:18); the game of the weekend, Rams-Lions (16:14); C.J. Stroud and the Texans beating the Browns (24:27); and Dolphins-Chiefs (29:10). They then go through an abbreviated Guess the Lines, look at the possible divisional-round matchups, and share more wild-card weekend observations (37:58). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming, please checkout theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up, reacting to the NFL weekend. We can't even guess all the lines. Man, the football is complicated this year. It's all next. This episode is brought to you by Prime Video. You know me, I can't go a day without sports. I really can't. And now Monday nights are all about hockey.

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We've never done this before, but Sal and I, we do Guess the Lines. Especially in the playoffs, there's less games. But when the Bills game got moved, now we have two games on that Monday. So we were like, there's two games we want to talk about on Monday. We're doing something we've never done. Tonight, shorter pod. We'll cover the four. We'll guess the lines for the two games we can guess. And then tomorrow night, after the next two games, we're back, baby. We're going to be here. It's basically a belated part to Sal and I will do guess the Alliance. That will be much shorter. But combined, it'll be a little fatter than the usual Bill and Sal Sunday podcast.

So let's just get into it. Let's bring in Pearl Jam. All right, we're taping this in person. Sunday night, we're at my house. Sal, I watched him go through the seven stages of I Can't Believe This Is Happening To Me Again. It wasn't even grief. What was it? You haven't watched with me like a lose in a while, right?

No. This one was bad because I felt like you had high hopes, but you're also, your guard was up. You were in a weird even start of the day, I felt like you were in a weird spot. I couldn't sit, right? I think I stood for most of the three hours. I moved around. You did. You moved into five different locations in the big room. You gave me

a Roddy Piper glass from my Diet Coke. We thought that would change our fortune, but they just suck, man. They suck. I thought about driving home. I'm like, I'll do a podcast from home. I don't need these people dropping F-bombs all day. I'm an immature jerk. But they sucked. I hated it. So we'll talk about all the games.

Normally, we would talk about the last game of the day, but the Cowboys thing, we all went into Bill Belichick, Jim Harbaugh, Mike Vrabel mode. What was it? Halfway through the second quarter? I took an Instagram. It was the first time it got mentioned,

but that's clearly going to be it for McCarthy. Dak is now two and five in playoff games. Jones, I think, is five and 12 since the last Super Bowl in the playoffs. Aaron Jones? He seemed pretty good to me. Jerry Jones. Teams that he's owned.

Yeah. And this was especially embarrassing because their defense got absolutely crushed by a QB who had never been there before. A Packers team that was young and dumb, but in a good way, and just went up and down the field on him. Dak ended up with 403 yards, though.

That was fun. Yeah, that was stupid. I know. I wish I could get mad at the refs or just one thing, but the defense was so bad that I don't even know if Dak was good, if it mattered,

but he was really bad. He looked all out of sorts, even in the beginning, sailing passes to C.D. Lamb. He was really bad. He looked all out of sorts, even in the beginning. Sailing passes to C.D. Lamb, he was way off. And locking in on him, and you always knew whoever the first receiver was, he was just staring him down and throwing it to him.

Lamb was mad at him, like almost immediately, we didn't know what was going on with that. I was kind of stunned, because I know he has trouble with two deep safeties, but that's like when the Niners play that, right? When you're playing the Packers, and like this 24th ranked pass defense, right? When you're playing the Packers and like this 24th ranked pass defense. Yeah.

Where a banged up Jair Alexander and like their second or third corner. The guy covering Michael Gallup is like a practice squad guy and they couldn't figure it out for hours. And it just made me sick.

How are they not passing all over this team? It was weird for me because I'm just getting texts from people being like, you're with Sal, right? How's he doing? There was like two hours

left in the game. Is he all right? Is he still in the house or did he leave? People just get concerned for your welfare. You should have told me to leave. You should have.

No. As a friend, you should have said. Listen, there was nothing worse than what we witnessed yesterday with JJ during that Dolphins game. That was bad. I mean, he took that way harder.

You've at least won Super Bowls that you can remember in your lifetime. bad. I mean, he took that way harder. You've at least won Super Bowls that you can remember in your lifetime. Yeah. Yeah, now JJ has the longest drought for a playoff winless team. But yeah, I don't know what to say. Like Dak, McCarthy,

I actually think Quinn was worse as a coach and he's going to get a job. I hate that McCarthy didn't have them ready in a game that should mean his job, as you say, and whatever's going to get a job. I hate that McCarthy didn't have them ready in a game that should mean his job, as you say, and whatever's left of his legacy against his Packers team. It sucked. It really did.

Maybe you're better off just throwing that last week of the season away and playing at Tampa. Assuming they did it intentionally, they might have done it right. They could get two home games. Oh, no, the Rams lost. Okay.

One home game. Well, I was trying to think of tough week for dot, dot, dot. Tough week for Dak. Yeah. He's 30 years old right now. You kind of are who you are as a QB at this point. We've seen him look really... This is the best year he's had.

I don't totally trust him in big games like this. I thought his eyes turned into saucers basically halfway through the first quarter. And this is a game like if you're a really elite franchise guy, you're like, alright guys, our defense can't stop us. Let's go get some points. It went the other way. Tough

week for Dak, but you have to pay him, right? Yeah. Definitely one more year. How are you feeling about that? One more year and then probably an extension if you're going to do it would be this summer. Probably. It's $29 million. And yeah, it's funny you mentioned JJ,

big Dolphins fan. We watched with him. I feel like I'm in the same boat as he is, as Dolphins fans are. You have between Dak and Tua, two top 10 quarterbacks, right? Not really going to argue with that. Regular season, top 10. Regular season, top 10 quarterbacks. right? Not really going to argue with that. Regular season, top 10.

Regular season, top 10 quarterbacks. Right there. All right, so what do you do? Do you look to move on for them? First of all, I don't even know if we get a second rounder for Dak at this point with the one year left. And if you do move on from them, you're now putting yourself in that pool

where 70% of GMs fail picking up one of these quarterbacks, drafting them. So kind of stuck. You can't do that with the team you have. I would say you probably blame the coach. you know, Diggs went out, so you can look at that

and say, maybe this is part of it. Gilmore was hurt, so that was your second best cornerback. It doesn't explain the lack of a pass rush. The fact that Parsons, we were talking about it during the game. Parsons has become like the new grind.

He just gets manhandled. They never call anything. They show replays, just two guys. I'm like an innocent bystander. I actually probably don't like the Cowboys. You're not that innocent. No, but even I'm like, whoa, Parsons. Why does he get officiated like this? His head is snapped back

every play. In fact, he's hitting the helmet all the time. They have to drop him in coverage a few plays and I'm like, that's ridiculous. And I'm like, that's just to give him a rest, I think. That's to give him a rest without actually giving him a rest. But yeah, that defense was bad. But let's give it to Jordan Love. Well, I was going to say, tough week for Rodgers.

Great. I mean, you know, for all kinds of reasons. And then on top of it, this Green Bay thing happens, this pick that he hated, and the guy played better in that playoff game than Rodgers has probably played the last five years in the playoffs. I agree.

Rodgers, again, with his comments, another subpar January. But Jordan Love, hottest quarterback in football coming in. I did worry about that a little. 21 touchdowns, three interceptions in the last seven weeks. Perfect passer rating today. He's going to be great, and he kind of looked like Rodgers. He had back-footing stuff, side-arm stuff,

waiting as long as he could to throw. He had a couple awesome throws where he took big hits and caught the guy in stride and just made like honestly a couple wow plays there were guys wide open 25 yards down the field in the same spot like three times in a row it was uh it was disgusting but he's um he's pretty damn good i mean whatever he could also grow a weird creepster mustache and you know sling some conspiracy theories and who knows what inaccurate statements Sling some inaccurate statements out there. Yeah, slanderous stuff. Yeah, who knows?

But I don't know. Tough week for Mike McCarthy, who one of the headlines today was Prescott backs McCarthy. How'd you feel about that? Can I back neither of them? Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to think what the equivalent is of two guys who might be on their way out,

backing each other. So you really think Dak might be on his way out? No, I was trying to look at what I'm reading, and I was reading all the nonsense. But what can we get from a second rounder? And you take a cat bit too, right? Yeah. And we take the cat bit. So it's not good.

It's easier to get rid of McCarthy. I know you have plans for him. I know you're walking through the neighborhood. I passed 63 mansions, and I come up with Belichick to the Cowboys. I don't think that's the answer. Tell me why you think it's perfect, and I'll tell you. You don't think Belichick's the answer. I don't want him, and I don't think it's going to happen either.

Would he have done a better job than Mike McCarthy today? I'm going to say he did. Would your defense have gotten torched by Jordan Love? Probably not. All right. Okay. I just think Belichick, the more intel we get, he wants to break that record. Sure.

The Wickersham, right, Thompson piece was pretty interesting. But you go to Dallas, probably 11 to 12 wins two years in a row. I think it's the sexy move for Jones. Really? Right? It's like, hey, you know, the McCarty. But I just got the greatest coach of all time. I think it's the sexy move for Jones really? it's like hey, the McCarty but I just got the greatest coach of all time and we haven't won a Super Bowl in three decades and now Bill Belichick, we need each other

this is going to be great turning the team over to him he's in control of all the coaching stuff we're here, we have all the system and if you're Belichick it's just the safest bet of all these available jobs. Atlanta, I don't have a QB. Carolina, I don't have chargers. You go

through them and it's either this or Buffalo shits the bed tomorrow. Yeah. Right? Well, first thing, here's why I don't think it works for Dallas. First of all, and maybe this works in his favor, we have Intel. He doesn't like Bob Kraft, Jerry Jones.

So would this be an FU to him? Well, they're frenemies. They're supposed to be friends, but it's like one of those, eh. But if he brings them on, is this an FU to him? Or is that like, no, I don't want your damaged goods? So I said Schrager brought this up on Thursday. And I just think these super rich guys, they actually kind of like swinging their dicks

and hitting the other guy in the head. Yeah, and being like, yeah, fuck you. I heard you, coach. I would think Jerry would talk about swinging and hitting the other guy in the head. Yeah, and being like, yeah, fuck you. I hired your coach. I would think Jerry would talk about swinging his dick and hitting everybody in the head. He'd be psyched to be able to swing his dick at this point. At least some kind of interview.

Secondly, though, if he wants to be a GM, there's no way Jerry's going to let him do that. But maybe he just comes in and it's like, hey, you're just going to coach the team. We have a whole thing here. Here's $20 million a year. All right. And you can coach the most famous franchise

in any sport other than maybe the Yankees. Are the Cowboys one or two? I put them one. Although they might have lost a fan today. It's across from you. But the move is to hire Mike Vrabel. That seems better.

But I don't know if that's the Jared Jones move. The Jared Jones move is I'm in my 80s. I want to win now. The greatest coach ever is available. I have a quarterback. I have a team. I have a defense that underperformed. I'll spend whatever it takes.

This guy's as motivated as I am. You talked yourself into that pretty fast. I just think it took 25 years for him to put Jimmy Johnson, a headstrong type A personality in the ring of honor. He's going to take flack from Belichick the last couple of years. The other thing is he proved on your team, Belichick, he can't win with shitty quarterbacks. Oh.

I know. I'm taking it too far. It's bad. That was brutal. I didn't know what you were doing there for a second. You said Atlanta for Belichick. I think that's the answer. I think he can get 10 wins with Atlanta. I think it's Atlanta if I know

I can get Kirk Cousins or somebody who's at least... That's the threat. I think Minshew and above can get you 10 wins. Yeah, we said it's the Minshew line. Yeah, the Minshew line. Minshew can win you 10 games. And then you watch Houston yesterday and you think maybe Indianapolis and Minshew was a little better than we thought. There was some cause and effect stuff that we always end up doing after the fact,

but even Green Bay, when they beat Detroit on Thanksgiving and that seemed like such a bad loss for Detroit. Now it doesn't seem as bad because Green Bay has been coming on here for seven, eight weeks. He had that kind of game. He really did.

And then Detroit looks a little better today. So who do you want as the coach? You got to tell us. I don't know. I haven't even gotten that far. I'm just so mad about the game. I've got a variable out of those three, I would say, right? Not Harbaugh.

You wouldn't. No, I think Harbaugh. Harbaugh doesn't get a lot. He doesn't even talk to the AD there at Michigan. I think he's like behind the scenes. He sours on these guys pretty quickly and vice versa. But Belichick to Atlanta. People will say to the Chargers,

you got Justin Herbert, you're going to win games. You have Mahomes in that division. So I liken it to blackjack, right? So if you put Belichick on the Chargers, you have a nine against the picture card. You have 19 against the picture card. If you put Belichick on the Falcons. I would say that's more like a seven.

A seven? Yeah. All right. Because they have all these salary cap issues, the Chargers. picture card. If you put Belichick on the Falcons... I would say that's more like a 7. A 7? Yeah. Alright. Because they have all these salary cap issues, the Chargers. If you put them on the Falcons, you have a 15 against a 6. I think. Right. NFC South. Yeah. That's it.

You're worried about Carolina, who's a disaster. Right. Tampa, I don't even know what they are. And then... Saints too. And then Saints is like... Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. You just need the QB. Vrabel is the one that makes the most sense, but then he's in another situation

where he's beholden to some owner. Mm-hmm. But Vrabel's like his age. That's somebody he could be the Cowboys coach for by the time Jones is dead, whenever that is. Exactly. Like 20 years from now.

35 years, yeah. 35 years from now? These are all the Dak Prescott games. Playoffs. It sounded like you were moving on to another game. Well, they lost to Green Bay by three in 2017. Right. They lost.

They beat Seattle by two. And then lost to the Rams in 2019. I was at that game. A little dissatisfied. Gouged on the ground. Yep. They lost to the Nin in 2019. I was at that game. A little dissatisfied. Gouged on the ground. Yep. They lost to the Niners in 2022, January. Mm-hmm.

Then they beat Tampa last year. Knocked Brady out of the game for good. A pretty bad Tampa team. And then lost to the Niners and scored 12 points. And then this was the first time he really got blown out in a playoff game. Yeah. So, deep down, I mean, you did name your kid Jack Romo Iacono. It's like a slight vindication.

Yeah, that's true. But he's not doing better than Romo did as the Dallas kid. I do wonder. I'm on a bunch of text chains, as you imagine. We talked in one of them. If Jerry, looking back, would have allowed Romo, would have insisted Romo stay in the lineup when Dak was so good. At least for just for one year to have

it. But in my mind, I like to think he would have. Should we move on to other games? Please. Let's take a break. We're two-thirds of the way through NFL Super Wild Card weekend, and then we're on to Divisional Round. Every team, it's win or go home.

But for you, you'll always have a spot in the playoffs with FanDuel America's number one sportsbook. They have so many ways for you to pick up a W. You could have trailed by a million dollar pick, some three and one right now heading into the last two games. I think we're going to have a boost on Monday. Still waiting to find out what's going on with some of the injuries in the Philly-Tampa game, but we are going to boost something probably with the Tampa Moneyline and Mike Evans. So stay tuned for that. I will tweet that out on Monday.

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Bonus issued is non-withdrawable bonus bets that expire seven days after receipt. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer.

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it was really fun and everything was awesome except for the games the games sucked and then the next one sucked and then the next one sucked yesterday was the worst combo games

I could remember and then it's like well Cowboys Packers will be fun Packers go down right away and score it's like oh this is going to be amazing

shootout nope not a shootout and then Rams-Lions was actually a really good game. And I'm not positive the right team won. Interesting. I think the right team won,

but I also felt, and look, I had Rams plus three and it covered, so this is not, I didn't really care who won. I actually was really happy for everybody from Detroit.

Tortured fan base. My guy Jalen Rose, a great home win. Couldn't be happier for them. It just felt like there were maybe eight calls in the game and seven of them went against the Rams. Did you feel that way or no? I don't know. Oh, all right.

Let me tell you where I'm coming from. I had Lions team total adjusted over like 20 and a half. So that won easily. So I had no horse in the game for those last few minutes either. I just think it was like a hard-hitting game, and a lot of stuff was close. There were some holes in there, just by like defensive. Well, there definitely was some PIs that they didn't call.

Passing appearances. There was a couple helmet-to-helmets that they didn't call. You wanted some late hits, but I feel like— There was Stafford when he went out. They've called that all year. It was the one time where they were like, ah, come on, toughen up, quarterback. Oh, the second, the follow-up. Yeah, and then the guy stepped on him, and I feel like... There was Stafford when he went out. They've called that all year. It was the one time where they were like, ah, come on, toughen up, quarterback. Oh, the second follow-up. Yeah, and then the guy stepped on him, and I was like,

somewhere in there, I thought the... That was scary shit. He's staring at the sky, and that was bad. Puka took at least two, but maybe that was the game, and they were calling it both ways, and the Lions were a little more physical, and that was one of the reasons they won. He's great, But he spins.

He presses the B button three times every reception. Right. So he's spinning into trouble. Oh, yeah. You know? So I'm not saying he's asking for it and he is spectacular. To see what he, and we'll talk about Stroud in a minute.

But, yeah. But you think like the Rams had the three red zone trips. Yeah. They had the ball eight minutes left. First and new set of downs and they're inside the Lions 40. And I feel like they're going to watch that tape this week and be like, oh, my God. We figured out this team.

They stopped moving the ball against us. We were moving the ball. We were getting the stuff that we wanted. Yeah. And we just had better scoring chances. But, you know, home field advantage was huge. It was super loud in there. And the Lions get all the credit for beating the shit out of the Rams skill guys.

They did. Yeah. I think I'm with you when I say, like, I like that the Lions fans can breathe a little easier, right? They got the playoff win. But I would have liked to have seen this Rams team play another week, right? Yeah. It's freaking exciting. exciting. That's what it is. Yeah, if we're doing the games

going forward, the Rams are clearly one of the best eight teams in the league. They're out of all the teams that got bounced, including your stupid team. I'll give you that. That's fine. I think the Rams were the best team that did not get to advance. I did feel bad for Goff, though. All week,

it's about Stafford's coming home. Are they going to do this tribute before the game? What about the Jersey band? That doesn't sound right. Goff's like, hey, what about me? I took this team to the playoffs, finally. I don't know. And he never had the Jared Goff play. No. Well, he tried that one time

when he kind of two-hand lateral to backwards that nobody knew. He's like, if you don't jump on this, I'm not making another mistake the rest of the way. He sailed the big third down pass with like, I don't know, nine, ten minutes left and the Rams got the ball and it was like, all right, here we go.

They're going to drive down. They're going to get something here. And that was when the Lions came up and stopped. The Hutchinson was, I thought, a monster in this game. I read something on Twitter about how his win rate on just beating guys was like 35%, or it was in the 30s, but he made the key play. It was third and whatever. He ends up drawing the holding penalty

because he's about to sack Stafford. That pulls them back too far out of field goal range. There was some interesting coaching stuff in this game. At the end of the first half, they got super conservative because they knew they were getting the ball in the second half, the Rams. Just the way they kind of handled that around the 40, and then it seemed like, oh, can you kick a field goal from here? And then they decided to punt.

We were arguing about it with everybody as we're watching it, should they go for it? But I just thought the way the Lions, the defense was covering, I was okay with the punt. Make golf, make a play. And then he made a play. Yeah. I mean, it was a lot of good defense play in that second half, right? We saw, what did we see? 14, 21. So 35 points in that first half. And then what was it like nine total in the second half? So punting was the way to go, I think. But yeah, now I'm looking, wondering how the Lions won this game. Because they seemed like they were running the hell out of the ball in the beginning.

They only ended up with 79 yards rushing. So it was basically came down to golf not making a mistake. Yeah. There wasn't a turnover in this game, right? I don't think there was no right unless it was a fumble recovery no yeah the rams had 425 yards the lions had 334 no turnovers the rams were 7.7 yards to play the lions were 6.1 they basically had the same first downs um but it all came down to the red zone the red Lions were 3-3 in the red zone

and the Rams were 0-3. St. Brown is awesome. He really does. Yeah, he made a couple of huge plays. I thought one of the reasons I thought the Lions were going to lose or I just like taking the plus three was Laporta wasn't going to play

but he did play. He was out there at least somewhat. Caught a touchdown. A touchdown. Figured right into it. Caught a couple of big first downs. Those teams were dead even. Like, if that game's in

LA, maybe LA wins by three. Neutral field. Right. Probably overtime. I just thought those teams were matched. Yeah, they got behind early. That was it for the Rams. I thought it was an important McVay season.

And he said after the game, in the press conference, he said, this team really got my mojo back, basically. This team reminded me why I love doing this. Because if you remember, he had that he's going to go do TV, he's going to keep coaching.

He flew a little too close to the sun there. He wins the title. I thought it was a really good year for him. Bill, he surprised him. Sean McVay surprised himself, this young guy here. I don't know what we're trying to do here. But no, listen, you had 34-year-old Stafford. Had they lost this year? I think it was considered a rebuilding year, but they drafted so well. Kyron Williams was so good in his second year. Puka was outstanding. Puka was, I mean, people are talking about

whether Stroud was one of the best rookies ever. Puka's got to be in that combo, too. Right, and they may have the defensive rookie of the year. There's so much going on with this team. Cooper Kopp, we didn't even mention him. Had five catches for 27 yards. So, if he has a little bit better of a game, they win. Stafford, who threw for 367,

who took, I would say, seven or eight pretty big hits, who hit bit better of a game, they win. And Stafford, who threw for 367, who took, I would say, seven or eight pretty big hits, who hit his hand on a helmet. It seemed like it's going to turn out he has a broken hand and a broken rib or whatever, but he did everything. I thought it was an awesome game. Leaving it, I don't know if I believe in the Lions as a Super Bowl team, but I thought Goff didn't make the Jared Goff play

I was waiting for him to make for three hours. So at least that's a step up. They can run the ball a little. They have two guys they can go to for first downs. And they have one guy who can rush the passer when they really need one play. Can you get to the passer? They're built well. I think you would say they're built

well. I'd be surprised, we don't know the line yet, if they lost to either Philly or Tampa Bay. Yeah, so we have next week, the only game we know for sure is Packers at 49ers Saturday night. How'd that happen? And then the Lions are playing the first game on Sunday, and that's against the Eagles or Bucs.

And then everything else is up in the air, depending on what we have tomorrow. But at least we had one fun game. Texans-Browns, going back to yesterday. Stroud, you know, he's on at least a semi-short list of great NFL rookie seasons. Yeah, we went over it today. You win the two must-wins in a row. The must-win against Indy, they got a little help

thanks to Shane Steichen. And then he was must wins in a row. The must win against Indy. They got a little help with thanks to Shane Steichen. Yep. And then he was lights out in this game. He ended up with almost exactly the same stats as Jordan Love. They're both 16 for 21. They both threw for three TDs. CJ was 274 and Jordan Love was 272.

This was the only game I picked incorrectly for million dollar picks. I got crushed. I got everything wrong crushed I got crushed on this game in every conceivable way and Raheem said something you guys were doing the preview show on Saturday and he was like I know everybody loves this Browns D but who have they

played and he just started going through all the things and I was like you know I knew this but the way he's laying it out now I'm starting to get scared like maybe he's right and then it was like, you know, I knew this, but the way he's laying it out, now I'm starting to get scared. Like maybe he's right. And then it was like the one game was Brock Purdy, but Brock Purdy was concussed and they were way better at home than on the road.

And so I liked them so much. And I'm like, fuck, maybe that's why the line's moving toward Houston. But I still felt like, all right, if Indy just completes a fourth to one, Houston's not even in the playoffs. They already won their game. But that was the best I saw Houston play all season.

Phenomenal. They were awesome. And you thought it would be reversed. I think Flacco got dumped four times. You thought it would be CJ on his ass the whole game, running for his life. But he was great. Clean pocket the whole time. Whole time.

Clean pocket. And you mentioned it, and Raheem was all over it. And why is this a trend that we completely ignored, where the Browns' defense is 16 points worse on the road per game than they are at home? And gave up big plays every once in a while. And, you know, home dogs. Like, if you went to your old playoff manifesto,

how many times would you take the inferior team on the road giving points? Like, never. And why do we do it? But then on the other side, if the Browns defense swarms C.J. Stroud and he looks like a rookie QB, and we're like, oh, what? That's what you get? Yeah. Everybody had them penciled in.

Like a rookie QB. Because they wanted to see them against the Ravens. And even we had them as a long shot for the Super Bowl. Apologies for that, everyone. It's tough to shit on the Browns too much, but they did turn out to be a little fraudulent. And they really rolled over after the double pick sixes from Flacco, who the clock struck midnight for him. I think

I don't ever remember seeing back to back pick sixes. I'm sure I have, but not in a playoff game. I think that's the Flacco now. Is it not the Dak? It's the Flack? Did Dak go throw two in a row? Maybe it wasn't in a row. In a row, it's like pretty.

Yeah, it's bad news. Yeah, I think that's the FLAC-O. Yeah, we could pretty much throw these first-time quarterback trends down the toilet, right? Between Jordan Love and CJ Stroud. I don't know whether there's more playoff teams, so maybe that's part of it. It's easier to be a quarterback now because you don't get hit and whatever.

But, man, you look at rookie QBs who have won on the road. The first one was Pat Hayden in 1976, the Rams. Dieter Brock in 1985, who had played in the CFL for 10 years. Sean King, 1999, Tampa. He won one. Aaron Brooks in 2000. Roethlisberger in 04. Flacco in 08 won twice. Sanchez in 09 won twice. TJ Yates, I think at a Shakey's game. Wow, it would have to be. 2011. Russell Hussle and Bustle in 12, and Purdy in 22.

Well, it's more than we would think. Yeah, it's more than I think, but it's also weird that until 1999, it only happened twice. But I guess with less playoff teams. But he was... I mean, he might be actually great.

There's him and Jordan Love. There's him and Jordan Love. There's real special moments from both of them that don't just seem like, oh yeah, that guy's good. These are throws off the back foot, sidearm throws. There's a charisma to them. It's really impressive. Not afraid to throw

it downfield, which is great. Great for a young guy like that. That's what you don't see as much. Well, one thing that happened with the Browns, they at least realized now that they don't have to spend the whole offseason trying to figure out who's going to start between Joe Flacco and Deshaun Watson.

That's true. Now it's like, well, at least silver linings. At least Deshaun. Yeah, we always wanted him to come back. And then Houston gets to almost definitely go to Baltimore unless Buffalo collapses last week. Then the last one we had was Chiefs-Dolphins,

where, wow. I don't know where to start. Andy Reid's mustache. That was not looking pretty. That looked like the most disturbing picture you've ever seen in your life. The most disturbing Photoshop ever. That was a Cinemax special right there.

Game was so cold that it felt like 20,000 people weren't there. They did the wide shot and there was just empty seats. It didn't really sound that loud. Didn't really seem like a fun game to go to. And you know who didn't really enjoy it? The Dolphins because it didn't seem like they wanted to be there. As the game went along, it seemed like they wanted to get out. The two apiece.

So do you want to talk about what it was like to watch the game with our friend JJ, John Jastrzemski, diehard Dolphins fan? It was rough. He was F-bombing away. We had the Godfather in the background on another screen. Yeah. I think he beat Sonny Corleone in terms of swear words. But I don't know. At least he had a shot at halftime.

I think he thought he did. He got bummed out early. Then Tyreek had that long pass. He did a lap around the room. Let's go, let's go, and was doing that whole thing. And then was over back in the couch, and the game started to slip away, and he just kind of started to slip into the couch.

It was like poltergeist when the girl goes into the TV. We just, we lost him. Like, it was much darker than what happened with you today. You got sad, you moved around, but, you know, you kind of knew where it was going. He was like, I really think he was stunned and went to a bad place. His team was an underdog.

Mine should have been one, I don't know. Mine should have scored 40 points and given up 15. It's weird with the cold weather games. I feel like it has to be just right. That was too cold to be enjoyable for the fans at the game and even for us watching. I got slipping around.

We know this is going to be a low scoring game. I don't mind a few wonders here and there. When I watched the Patriots and Jets last week, I was like, this is great. The snow, but like when I watched the Patriots and jets last week, I was like, this is great. The snow, it's beautiful.

They should do this every week, 18. They should take the shittiest game and send it to Anchorage, Alaska. And that's where it is. But sometimes it gets too cold. And, uh,

and, and that's what we saw. It's like, it's a little bit of a coin flip and Casey decided to catch balls. I mean, Rasheed rice had the most drops on the team. He had eight drops and he was a superstar all of a sudden. He was awesome.

I didn't really understand what people were seeing in Miami for this game. It was a classic. Everybody stared at the game too long. My bet was the Chiefs money line with an adjusted under because the under is always hitting these freezing cold games.

I was a little scared of the backdoor, but I also, straight up, I would have taken KC. Right. I just thought the combo of Miami's defense, how many guys they lost. And then when the game started, they didn't have Holland either, which I didn't even know when I was doing the pick on Thursday. Yeah.

But they had no pass rush. I mean, you lose like six or your seven best guys on defense. It's probably not happening. And then the two apiece, you know, I don't even know if I like two in normal weather in big spots, but two in cold weather, holy shit. Yeah. They were better off last year at this time, right?

When Skylar Thompson went to Buffalo and it was close. Right. And at least they seemed like they had more hope. And it's a much worse situation than one with you because they haven't even given him the big contract yet. Right. And I just, I don't know if I would. No, I don't know.

I mean, at least they get to watch him a little more next year. Although I don't know what they're going to say. Such a weird year for the Dolphins, right? And when they lost to the Bills, you're like, oh, they don't believe the same old Dolphins. And then, oh, wow, they have a stranglehold on this division. There's no way. Then the Bills run the table at the end and win and send them to a cold weather game. But yeah, I don't know what to think about Tua because of all the injuries the Dolphins had, you would have thought Tua was going to be the one going down.

Like when we did our preseason things, he's not making it to the finish line. And he did, and this is still the result. And nobody else did. And Tyreek, we'll see how he ages. He's in his 30s now, but he was nicked up all over the place. But having to pay Tua whenever that is, and that's going to have them

make some challenging things with their roster. I don't know. Basketball's like this too. You'll be with a Bradley Beal or a Zach Levine or these guys. I'm glad you're bringing this up. Well, thank you. We're like,

does this guarantee us even that we get to the second round? It doesn't. And I still have to pay this guy $250,000, but it's like, what will the fans think? So they'll talk themselves into Tua, but I don't see how this is any different. Because to me, the thing that's alarming about

him is he's just not athletic. And when you really come after him, he really has trouble moving around and creating extra time for himself. If it's not there in the first two seconds he's just a different guy i don't even know what his rating is if he's holding the ball for three seconds or more but i think it's a bad situation if you were to rank the bad

quarterback situation this is at the top oh please can you put the pats in there well i guess we're getting a draft i don't know you're gonna get a pick yeah it has to i mean you can't surround this guy with more talent like they lost probably because the defensive players were out, right? Yeah. But what can you do talent-wise? Like, Mostert had over 20 touchdowns. A-Chan was great. You got Hill and Waddle.

If these guys are healthy, it's a spectacular offensive unit around him. Well, and then you have the Chiefs. And we were on this. You guys talked about it on the show. We were talking about it all the way leading up to kickoff about this. Once that Bill Steelers game got pushed and we're like, oh my God, like just everything's going great for the Chiefs. Now, even if the Bills beat the Steelers, the Chiefs will get to play the Bills.

There's going to be some crazy rest situation for them compared to the Bills. You know, they get to play this Dolphins team in the one weather element that they would never have ever wanted in a million years. So then they'll probably have to play the Bills in round two, a team that they have had

really a weird hold over, over the years. And I don't know, maybe if it's the Texans, maybe they go into the Ravens. Maybe the Steelers beat the Bills, maybe they go into the Ravens. Maybe the Steelers beat the Bills. Would you rather be the Chiefs or the Bills right now? Would you rather forego the two-day rest and be the home team?

Or would you rather be the home team? I would just rather be the Chiefs in general because I don't think the Bills are that good. We talked about them at 10-1 odds. And like, what if they bust out? What if Kelsey all of a sudden... But that was what we landed on. The odds weren't good enough you're better off

betting them game by game they're not good now right well the thing if you're gonna nitpick them again like once again in the red zone they couldn't get it done now it's freezing cold but there was a lot of settling for field goals for them like they always do meanwhile two

big stats from that game Peacock allegedly the biggest streaming audience ever for a live anything I don't know sometimes these things say can we say this is the biggest podcast ever the biggest live streaming on a Martin Luther King

weekend when there's two football games left podcast ever yeah I guess we could say whatever but the Peacock thing was pretty funny just all week. We called it last week. We were like, we know this is going to be a problem. People were mad about it. I didn't realize the biggest problem was Jason Garrett.

We'd have to listen to him for three and a half hours. So we had Smile and Jason. And from a comedy standpoint, it was actually really fun because we were just taking turns imitating him for three hours. That's true. Because he was just, just a play would happen two would roll out he would throw it over somebody's head they'd show the replay and gary would be like well two uh you know he rolls out here and uh he's just unable to hit time rekill yeah it's like are you doing radio like like what he was just yeah he's just kind of narrating the obvious play after play after play.

Well, I think he thinks he's the play by play guy and not the color guy. I wonder if someone feels weird telling him that like, yeah, just don't repeat exactly what happened. Cause yeah, the lead guy just did that. You're, you're the color. Jason, people are looking at you to explain what's happening. We can give you a PA announcer dry job right there over the loudspeaker if you want. And then on that play, you knowChain, he realized, and that's why he cut right,

and he was able to pick up five yards. He was tackled. Otherwise, he could have had seven or eight yards. Otherwise, it could have been nine, ten yards. He was really bad. And then we had at least Tariq on Collinsworth today, which was super fun. It was fun. Collinsworth was good.

He loved that Lions-Rams game. Yeah. In that matchup. It's fun. Collinsworth was good. He loved that, that Lions Rams game. Yeah. In that matchup. Um, so we, Bill, I mean, this is pooping.

No one's tackling this guy. Let's, uh, we'll take a break. We'll do guess the line. All right. Well, this is fun.

Guess the line. We have three games. We're going to do, uh, we'll come back Monday night for a quickie pod. But this really throws me off. We're doing a quickie semi-pod and then we have to come back tomorrow for these two games. By the way, it might not even be good. It's probably the worst pod we've ever done. What if the Bills just win 27 to 7? I don't know. We were following the Bills game getting postponed story pretty carefully because both of us love stone football. Right. But when it gets to the point when they're like, people can't even get to the stadium, they'll be in danger. It's like, okay, maybe you should cancel it.

Like 20 people died in the blizzard last year. I was like, all right, but they were all going to jump through tables anyway, right? I feel bad. That's terrible. And then you see what it looks like. Yeah, my God. It's stupid. So they moved it.

We think it's happening tomorrow, right? Yes. As of now, the governor said that they're not moving it. And then the Steelers, who are supposed to fly in whenever, and then they're on hold. It seems like that's the worst spot of all time. this would have leveled, if it's all about wind, this would have leveled the playing field.

And again, I know they can't play it, but this would have made it pretty even, right? This was the Steelers chance. Like if you got 40 mile an hour winds, all of a sudden you take away Josh Allen's a great asset for sure. Well,

so what do we do with the bets? Cause people, I think you have to re-bet it for the most part. I think all the books and all the places should scrap the bets, right? I think they do. Yeah. Almost all of them, though. Yeah, that's a weird one because at one point,

the line was like, I think got to nine because of the weather. Right. And the under dropped. I haven't even looked at it in a minute. But it was because of... What is it now? Is it 10 or... I don't know.

We'll look at it in a second. Well, we only of where it was going. What is it now? Is it 10? I don't know. We'll look at it in a second. Well, we only have one game, and it's Niners-Packers. So, truth be told, I emailed you. Did you even see this email from me? I didn't. Oh, you didn't? Did you hit it exact? Do you have it?

I don't know. I haven't looked at the line. I'm picking Niners by seven over the Packers. Okay, I think I'm going to get it. I haven't looked. I emailed you in the first quarter of the Cowboys game. No, you didn't. Did you really? Yeah, take a look.

Take a look. I was like, screw this. Let me get this in. Oh, my God. 2.18 p.m. There you go. Guess the lines. Wait, the game started at 1.30.

Yeah, that was enough for me. I'd seen it. What did I guess? You guessed eight and a half. Okay, so it's nine and a half. Oh, I was way off. Jesus. Yeah, it is a little strange that it went up. I know San Francisco

is better than Dallas. Come on. Packers are legitimately good on offense now. Now tell us, are the Packers going to be scared, Bill? Are they going to be a scared team? This Packers team is young and dumb. And I don't mean they're dumb like dumb-dumb. I mean dumb.

They haven't been there before. They're not scared. They're young and dumb, but that's smart. They're smart too. They're smart as well. We were imitating random TV people. If you want to know who that was, that was everyone. That was just everyone.

Matthew Stafford is so good in these close games. Is he dialed in? He might be dialed in. I just don't understand. It's almost like it's like a language now. It's like people feel like they have to just do TV

and do in the hole and start arguments with themselves during the thing. Right. That's another good one. Do you argue? Yeah. I'm not so sure Dak Prescott still isn't the best NFCs. Now I'm not saying I like Dak Prescott.

It's like, wait a second. You're, I haven't said anything. Yeah. Um, I like that. You're not going to tell me and don't tell me you're not going to tell me

that Dak Prescott brought his egg. Right. That's a good way. I'm going to tell you that. Of course. Or you don't think you don't think that Dak Prescott doesn't want this game? It's like, nah, I'm just sitting here. I didn't say anything.

Maybe it's better to be Jason Garrett and just repeat what he said. Well, McAfee's created a new version of how to do this. Uh-oh. Yeah. Why uh-oh? I don't know. We're not allowed to talk about Pat McAfee? Let's do it.

I don't know. He starts the show and it'd be like, Cowboys, bro. I don't know, man. I don't know. What's going on there, bro? And then it cuts to his three people. Right. And then they'll be like, well, I don't know. He starts the show and it'd be like, Cowboys, bro. I don't know, man. I don't know. What's going on there, bro? And then it cuts to his three people. And then they'll be like, I don't know. And then it'll go back to him and say, it's not good,

bro. Not good. Keep an eye on that, bro. Yeah. Two of them are looking to take their first cigarette break. And then McAfee's just going, we don't have a rundown, bro. No rundown on the show, bro. Duke's a hazard liar. I don't know, bro. I don't have a rundown, bro. No rundown on the show, bro. Dukes of Hazzard Live. I don't know, bro. I don't know.

Mike McCarthy. It's not looking good for him, bro. It's not looking good. Not looking good for that guy, bro. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh.

I would be really hard to do this podcast with seven people staring. Right. But then you have to... How do you include the seven people? It is tough. Yeah. It is tough. And be like,

oh, I didn't get to Bobby yet. Right. I felt a little better about bouncing stuff off of Harry after watching some of that show this week. Jordan Love, I don't know, bro. That guy's good.

He's just good, bro. He's just good. He's good, bro. Yep, yep, yep. He's good. The guy can sling it. He's good he's just good bro he's just good uh-huh he's good bro yep yep yep it's good the guy can sling it he's good um that's our only line so here's the schedule depending on what happens tomorrow texans it's so funny they're just like look the texans have to be the shaky game every week they have to be earlier if we can but there's English premier soccer at 430 in the morning. We don't want to

compete with the Texas are just destined. Even if they make the AFC title game, it's still going to be Saturday at 430. They're going to

actually move it a day. They might even play right away. So it's Texans at Ravens or Chiefs and then Packers 49ers Saturday night. We know for sure.

Yeah. Lions are hosting either the Eagles or the Bucks on Sunday. And then Sunday night, I don't know, bro. There's all these games, bro. Chiefs, Bills, they could be playing. Steelers, Ravens, they could be playing, bro. And that's going to be 6.30 at night.

So we're going to find out what actually happens there. I can't wait to guess those lines. Ravens, Steelers will be an interesting one. Well, I'm up one on you, and I don't see relinquishing this lead at all. What do you think happens tomorrow? It's funny. We looked at things differently, right? After the Cowboys

lost, you were like, wow, this could be one of those weekends. Maybe the Bills lose. And I'm like, nah, weird shit. We got it out of the way. Now the Bills roll. And I'm like, nah, the weird shit. We got it out of the way. And now the Bills roll. Now the Bills roll and then Tampa either beats Philly or Baker looks like complete dog shit. And we're like, oh my God, why do we think Baker's...

I don't remember going into a game like that with two quarterbacks with so much uncertainty. Well, we know A.J. Brown's out. Yeah. We know Hurts has been hurt all week. His finger is flying all different ways. It's strange. Baker's got rib injuries and ankle injury now. We know that they can't

stop anyone on defense. It feels like one of those games that's going to be decided by a terrible turnover, some sort of the punt returner dropping the punt, and the other team gets the ball on the seven. We even had a disaster game where

both teams just are playing like shit. Here's what I think. I say take both teams minus seven and a half. I think that's a blowout. Nothing would surprise me in that Philly-Tampa game. You'll get plus three to one on almost both. Well, I did. You did? From a betting standpoint.

Oh, from the plus. Yeah. You got like a crazy 13-point teaser or something stupid, right? Every time I do a 13-point teaser, you recoil in horror. Yeah. And it wins. And then you think about it, and then you're like, yeah, I kind of like that.

What do you have left? So that one, I'm looking at it. It's Green Bay plus 20. Probably good. Green Bay, Dallas over 38. Rams plus 16. And Bucs plus 16. 13-point 38. Rams plus 16. And Bucks plus 16. 13-point teaser.

Minus 120. If you had done those first three just on a parlay, you would have gotten six to one already, right? Green Bay. But that's the thing. Has anyone ever done the study of, dude, just bet these straight up. You make so much more money than these teases.

I don't know, bro. I don't know. Teases make you. Bro, the teases make you. Teases are know, bro. I don't know. Teases make you. Bro, the teases make you. Teases are great, bro. I also have a 10-point tease where I took KC through the zero, which everyone who knows anything about betting is like, never do that.

Never, ever do that. Yeah. I took KC to plus 5.5. And guess what? A fucking one, bro. Buffalo pickup, Tampa plus 13. That was the? A fucking one, bro. Buffalo pickup. Tampa plus 13. That was the other one I did.

That's probably smart. I have the Bill's Money line tied to Shiv to win the Emmy for best actors. That's it. Is that true? No, I don't have that. You can't bet those things. I wouldn't believe that. But on some sites, she's a runaway favorite at minus 2000

Shiv's good bro she's good she's good uh huh she's good uh huh yeah she's so good

on that show bro did you hear it you said yeah so good um our guy's up for an Emmy tomorrow

yeah let's do it and John Oliver's out of the category so there's a there's a shot here I'll actually be mad if it doesn't go our way bro

I really will alright we are going to be we're going to do parent corner tomorrow and we're going to bounce as soon as those two games end tomorrow we're just going to do a quickie podcast for like 35 minutes or so let's do it and that's it good job on you buddy

alright that's it for the right. Good job on you, Billy. Good job on you. All right. That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Kyle Creighton. Thanks to Steve Cerruti. Thanks to Sal. And we will see you in 24 hours after the two football games. Bill Steelers, Eagles, Tampa,

and then me and Sal. See you tomorrow. Must be 21 plus and president select States. I don't have to. Must be 21 plus and president's like states. Fando is offering online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas star casino, LLC gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit Fando.com slash RG in Colorado, Iowa, Kentucky,

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