The Bill Simmons Podcast - Danny Dimes, MJ Mahomes, Trubisky Five-O, Fraudie Kitchens, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: September 23, 2019

HBO and The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to recap Sunday’s matchups including Daniel Jones’s debut in Buccaneers-Giants, Chiefs-Ravens, a painful Rams-Browns game, Colts-Falcons, and more (2:50), before guessing the NFL lines for Week 4 (49:35). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Rosillo has one. If you like Rosillo, you have to listen to the hottest take on Spotify because he has a doozy coming tomorrow. And let's just say the 1770s are involved. So that's coming up. You should be subscribing to his podcast anyway. His podcast every Monday with Chris Long is essential listing. I was on there last week as well. And the rewatchables coming back Wednesday because for my 50th birthday present to myself,

we're doing the Shawshank Redemption. And it's going up on Wednesday. And we've been saying, there's been like six, seven movies we've been saving. It was time to do this one. Because hope is a good thing. And no good thing ever dies. Shawshank's happening.

So listen to that on Wednesday. The Rewatchable is $19.99 on Luminary. Mallory and I did For Love of the Game. It got a little raunchy. I'm not going to lie. I was disappointed in both of us. If you like Mallory at her raunchiest, here you go.

So that's coming later in the week on Luminary as well. Coming up, The Cuz at the Emmys last night so we had to tape this this morning but we're gonna do Guess the Lines

and a whole bunch of other stuff first our friends from Pearl Jam All right, we're taping this Monday morning Pacific time, 8 o'clock. We got up early. Sal was at the Emmys last night. Sal, you deprived our loyal listeners the Sunday night pod that they've gotten used to. Why don't you apologize to them right now? I apologize.

You should apologize. I'll apologize, but you should definitely apologize because I tried to convince you we should do this last night. I said I would call from any governor's ball or whatever, and now I can't even see straight. Let's do it. Nobody wanted a distracted cuz where you're like outside some party, baby doll smoking all over you.

So you've been hanging out with Babydoll Dixon, our agent. Oh, excuse me. I guess we have to say our manager now for the last few days. We found out that he's been to the IHOP twice in the past four days in LA. What were your thoughts on that? From what I understand, he went alone too. So he's like sneaking off like a fiend fiend or something to uh to have the rooty tooty fresh and fruity or whatever he's um planning but yeah he is uh he's a tour de force i mean he lit up a cigarette

18 inches from our good friend daniel's pregnant wife he just doesn't care he stopped caring like in 1982 and it just uh spir from there. It's funny how we enjoyed Mad Men way back when because it reminded us what life was like in the 60s when people littered and smoked all over each other and had no regard for other humans. And yet it's 2019 and here's James Babydoll Dixon

doing his thing. He's brought it back. Well, you had to go to the Emmys so you missed the debut of Danny Dimes. It was absolutely spectacular. It was stunning. I can't remember being that surprised watching football in a long time. He's just good.

He's a good football player. I feel like with quarterbacks, you know if they're bad right away, I feel like with quarterbacks, you kind of you know if they're bad right away, I feel like. They can surprise you. They can be late bloomers or whatever, but at the very least you can watch a quarterback first time blink test and go, oh, that guy doesn't have it. This was the opposite. This

guy was making great throws. He was moving around. He's sneaky fast. They had some stat, this next gen stats thing where they measure the top speed of quarterback and get to, and the top four speeds yesterday where he had two, and it was Lamar Jackson and Kyler Murray. That was the top four. He's just good. Are you worried? He's in your division for the next 15 years. Well, a couple of things. Yeah.

I only saw highlights and he looked really good. Like all the things you said, and he looked poised, and he was making nice throws, like leading the receiver nicely. All things you thought you hoped for with Eli. I do think it's kind of funny that the Giants fans are like celebrating. They've never celebrated before, and their best player, their all-time player, Saquon Barkley, is in a walking boot on the sidelines. That's not going to beelines. It's true.

That's not going to be great. Yeah. Yeah, he looks really good. It's very strange. You know, I floated a theory by you midweek last week, and you're like, oh, let's do this on the podcast. But now it just seems like he was much better than Eli to begin with. But I thought Eli might have forced his own benching

because he looked at his record and saw 116 and 116 and said, oh, you know what? I'm going to be 10 games under 500 after this year. And then this is at some point going to affect my hall of fame resume. Let let's bench me now. And, uh, whatever people could think, whatever they want, but I don't know. It just, it just seemed like he was worlds beyond Eli Manning yesterday, right? Yeah, it seems suspicious, the timing of the 116-116. Eli was 8-26 his last

34 starts. McAdoo tried to do this two years ago, as a lot of people have pointed out over the last 18 hours. So they lose him and he was just terrible in every respect as a starting quarterback. And then, so they lose him, and he was just terrible in every respect as a starting quarterback. And then gain somebody who opens their offense because he can actually move around.

He's a 2019 quarterback. But I thought the team was really inspired by him. And there were some stories. I guess the only benefit of taping this pod on Monday morning is we actually had time to read a lot of the stories last night and this morning. And they said at one point he swore in the huddle and his teammates got all fired up. But you could see at the end of the game when poor Barkley's in a walking boot on crutches hopping, hopping to join the postgame celebration. Like the Giants were fired up. And the Saquon thing made me think

that might have to be an Olympic event. Hopping on one leg, who can go the fastest? I've never seen anybody move faster. Did you see that? He was doing like a five... Him on one leg hopping versus me running full speed, I think he wins. I think

I would start... My fantasy teams are so bad, I would start Saquon and Crutches over anything I have back there. Well, that was the bummer yesterday because the Bucks were winning. Barkley got hurt on one of those classic only his body goes in the ways that it was going when he actually got hurt. He has a way of the, from hips up, his body's going one way and his legs are going

completely the other way, which is Barry Sanders-ish. And of course, this is the one time somebody caught him and it looked like a torn Achilles or a broken ankle or something. So even if he's out five to six weeks, that's a win compared to what it felt like in the moment. Obscured over this whole thing was an atrocious loss for Tampa Bay well I want yeah before we I wanted to say uh well first of all my favorite stat that I'm seeing all day and this is another reason like these things pop up like Monday morning it's good to see this Eli 0 and 44 when his team was down 18 or more points Daniel Jones 1 and 0 oh wow that's a fun one but uh yeah I think what you're about to say i mean i you look

at bruce arians and his health and everything and what's the one thing you can't have for a guy with like hard issues never you can't have a bad field goal kicker you can't have a guy miss two extra points and a chip shot field goal because it's going to make for a short a really short uh tenure there at tampa bay but what do you think do you think this is a mini Ewing theory without Barkley? There's just too much going on with the Eli. Is this a Daniel Jones Ewing theory moment if they win five games?

It's kind of the Eli Manning theory. We'd have to create a new theory for him. I guess that's what it is. The fact that the Bucks didn't win that game, first of all, they had a huge lead against a guy who had never played as a starting quarterback before. And Barkley gets hurt during the game.

He's got one receiver to throw to, basically. But they're down whatever, a score. 30 seconds left. Mike Evans, who already has like 30 fantasy points and is having like the fantasy breakout day. The Giants have one-on-one coverage against him. And Jameis just heaves it down.

He makes the play. They get down. They down the ball with like, what, 16 seconds left. They still had a timeout. And then, for some reason, they take a delay a game. And then Jameis does the kneel in the middle thing. But it's like, I would have taken a shot at the end zone first with Mike Evans.

They couldn't cover him. And why are you putting the game in the field goal kicker's hands? He's already blown two kicks, and you're going backwards. That was some of the dumbest coaching I've ever seen in my life. Well, until we saw the night game. But yeah, no, I'm with you. When Mike Evans has, when he has his shirt untucked,

his jerseys untucked. And like, you don't even know if he's wearing like half his shoulder pads. Like, oh yeah, just go to that guy. Right. He's,

he's in the right mode right now that they, it seemed like Tampa was toying with them up until that point. And I don't even know if coaches are telling the truth anymore. They're joking. Like Arian said, they asked him about the delay of game. And he's like's like well we like that part of the field better no could that be possible no they completely screwed up and the irony of this is so we did the over-unders podcast before the year and i told you i liked the bucks in that division because i thought it was gonna

be a bad division they would have been two and-1. With the Saints, Bridgewater, I know the Saints won yesterday, but Bridgewater did not look good in that game. That game was more a reflection of Seattle just might not be good this year. Well, they have, what, two defensive touchdowns or a kick return? Yeah.

Non-offensive touchdowns. It was not like an impressive New Orleans Saints offensive performance, but Tampa could have been 2-1. They have an easy schedule. And they had some momentum because they finally got Mike Evans going. And they just give that game away. And there's a chance 9-7 wins that division.

So that was bad. There was some really bad coaching, which we'll get into yesterday. Arians was an atrocity. Freddie Kitchens we'll get to. Pete Carroll. So bad. Pete Carroll got hit in the nose with the football before the game and it's possible he was concussed because they were a disaster

and Sean McVay was really bad in the Sunday night game we'll talk about all that two more Giants things ironically they should probably trade a first for Odell Beckham right they should just give the first back yeah what would they do if the

Browns they call the do if the Browns they call the Browns. The Browns aren't going to make the playoffs. I don't think. And they're just like, hey man we'll take them back. We'll give you your first. If you were him, would you rather have Daniel Jones or Baker Mayfield?

What kind of watch would they have to give the Browns to get Odell back? Yeah, you're right. I mean now that's all the comparison in New York. Like, all right, the Giants, they're not going to win the division. We just have to have more wins than the Browns, right? Yeah. And they really could do it at this point because, I don't know, do you believe in people watching enough tape on a guy and then that's it?

Like, could that be what happened with Baker Mayfield? I do feel like he's, like, he's leaving the pocket too early. He's doing a lot of mechanical things wrong. Plus they can't protect him. But this string of, what does he have? Five turnovers in the fourth quarter? Like, yeah, I would roll the dice with Daniel Jones at this point. Even though it's against Tampa Bay, who was like 31st defensive leads in the NFL last year.

But you can't like what you saw out of Baker. I've never seen Baker play well against a good defense. If it happened, I missed it. It just seems like the better the defense, he's just backpedaling and getting rid of the ball. They can't protect him, obviously, but it's a little

alarming. And it's definitely alarming if you either bet the Browns over or you spent a lot of money on Baker in your fantasy league. I have one more Giants thing for you. Kyle has something to tell you. Do your thing about Eli, Kyle. Oh, no. I think it's finally the guard has been changed.

I don't have to hate the Giants anymore. The last stain of the Patriots' losses are gone, and I think it's just fun to be happy for the Giants again. Kyle's healed. That's what he wanted to tell you. I think a lot of people are as well. Yeah, Kyle's healed. That's what he wanted to tell you. I think a lot of people are. Really? Yeah, he's healed.

Eli, we hated the Giants because of Eli and Strahan and David Tyree and Justin Tuck and all of these skeletons from these two Super Bowls that were taken from us. And now we've moved past it. And now we found peace and we can be happy for the Giants fans. We're happy for them with Daniel Jones. Eli is now gone. It's great. And it actually makes us feel really good that Eli, who was never a top seven QB at any point in his life, who had really mediocre stats, considering he was a 21st century QB for the above average QBs and the Giants fans are pushing this Hall of Fame resume

case for him I like that I mean not that I like it I don't like any tiny Patriots fans it's just hilarious it's like oh he went to Super Bowl so he should be in the Hall of Fame I had Russo and I did this whole bit last week and I hadn't really researched it it was impromptu and

now I wish I had gone more in on, are you guys absurd? Eli was not a Hall of Fame QB. Stop it. And one of my friends who's a Giants fan sent me this angry text because he heard it and was just like, the list of people who have won two Super Bowls as a QB

is not long. It's basically that list is. No, I can't remember that. It's like, it is like six QBs. Okay. But here's my thing.

And I, if you listen to against the odds last week, Harry, you talked about it. He goes crazy. But my thing is it cannot just be post season because now you're looking at 4% of his body work. Yeah.

Right. Right. Right. And really, because the only one in two years, the only one playoff games in two years. So now it's like down to two, two, two and a half percent of everything he's done. It just can't be. I mean, would we have been better served if Trent Dilfer won one more Super Bowl and then we could put that argument to rest? That two Super Bowl.

Or Flacco. Maybe. Yeah. Oh, here's Flacco. Here's to rest. That two Super Bowl thing. Or Flacco. Here's the stat. Multiple Super Bowl MVP winners. Starr, Bradshaw, Montana, Brady, Eli. Maybe there's one missing, but that feels around correct.

Eli winning for the 17-14 game was ludicrous. Or the 2017 game. Whatever the final score is. The Asante Samuel,. Or the 2017 game. Whatever that final score is. The Super Bowl 30. You got Asante Samuel. You got the helmet catch. Yeah.

Everything was just as lucky as any quarterback you liked who was unlucky. I'll bring up Tony Romo. Is that like seven instances? I have to. I have to. Well, the Pats. Whatever. The Giants.

But you can't. But I told you this. We talked about it last week. Look at any other field of work. Look at the Academy Awards. Who's a better actor? Cher or Harrison Ford? It can't all be about the trophy. You have to look at something else.

Tom Cruise or Eddie Redmayne. I don't know. That's a good one. Cher or Harrison Ford. The Giants fans are like, Cher's in the Hall of Fame. Moonstruck was really good right yeah well Eli's gone

I will say this you know this has been a tough century for the New York fans I feel like right and as much as I despise them and as much as I love battling them it has been kind of sad to see them just toeing rock bottom,

where you have that one great Yankee season in 09, which is now tainted by the A-Rod PDs. You have 20 years of terrible Knicks stuff. You have the Giants with the two Super Bowls, and then just the whole decade falls apart. The Jets, nothing. The Islanders, they moved. I don't even know where they're playing now, but who knows what's going on with them. The Mets, you start out, you make

the World Series. Then you have the 2015 World Series. It's like, here come the Mets. It all falls apart. And now all of your hopes are on Pete Alonso. That's it. every baseball hope you have is tied to that one guy it's been kind of sad to watch and now they have to root for Kyrie and KD in Brooklyn these hired mercenaries I like that they have this traditional old school here comes Danny Jones

and now they have like a new guy hopeful New York fans I think are better for us than sad bitter New York fans don't think, are better for us than sad, bitter New York fans. Don't you think? Well, I'll say this. Here comes Daniel Jones to Gillette Stadium week six in a Thursday night affair. So you and Kyle may not be cleansed fully of this.

We don't hate the Giants anymore. If he sneaks up on you. Are you down with Danny Dimes as a nickname? Yeah, that's pretty good. I haven't had time to think about it, but that's the lead on a clubhouse. I like that people are already shortening it to Dimes. He's not even Danny. It's just like,

Dimes! No, this is good. Him and Saquon, that's a fun team. And the last thing, just to put a bow on this, the Jets fans who were feeling really good in the offseason that finally maybe things had shifted to them. What on this, the Jets fans who were feeling really good in the off season that like finally, maybe things had shifted to them.

What a kick in the balls. Yeah. I mean, if you had said, who would you rather have, Darnold or Danny Jones, up until two days ago? It's 99% of the people probably take Darnold. Right.

And now- Maybe we calm down a little bit though with Dimes. No, I'm not done trying to jinx this yet. Let me keep going. I have more jinx potion to put on this. Him and Zion in the same year. I tweeted this yesterday, but a really good year for Duke.

JJ Redick on the Ringer Podcast Network, Zion, Danny Dimes. It's like we're coming around on Duke, I feel like. It just has a country. No? Duke had the basketball thing locked down, I think, for a while. I know what you're saying there. People are rooting for them. Let me ask you this, because

people, this is going to be the talk of my show, Lock It In. Giants were 18 to 1 to win the division before the season started. They were 100-1, 50 or 100-1, depending on where you looked at it, before this week, back down to 18-1.

Back down to 18-1? 18-1 now. People think they can win the division? How is that not higher? Well, it is weird that it's exactly where it was when the season started. Jesus. But Cowboys minus 175 is a bit. Hey, we're teaming up with FanDuel to give you a chance to play fantasy football against me

and the Cousins of the Trifecta. The winner gets to fly out to Puerto Rico to be our official correspondent for FanDuel's World Fantasy Football Championship Live Finals. All expenses paid, four days of WFFC events in Puerto Rico, including an exclusive beach afterparty with live performance by All expenses paid. Four days of WFFC events in Puerto Rico, including an exclusive beach afterparty with live performance by Ludacris.

They still won't promote Harry for this. I know Harry's going to be there somehow. Go to fanduel.com slash ringer to enter and draft your week four fantasy team for the games kickoff on Sunday. I want to brag a little, Sal. We had like 700 plus people in this this week. I finished 38th. All right. I'm going to have to one up you. I hate to brag a little, Sal. We had like 700 plus people in this this week. I finished 38th.

All right. I'm going to have to one-up you. I hate to do this. I finished 29th and I won $20. Oh, wow. I won $15. Did we both have Mike Evans? I didn't have Evans.

I had Ingram, Keenan Allen, and I had Mahomes. I just think it's worth it to go with Mahomes. You'll lose out on whatever other player, but it's kind of safe. You had Mike Evans? I had Watson, Dalvin Cook, Mike Evans, and Tyler Lockett in the Patriots' day and somehow didn't win. Well, I feel like I'm getting the hang of this Fando thing. Remember, you can play against us in the Ringer Listener League on Fando.

It doesn't matter if you missed last week. Take home the top prize this week. Get your asses kicked by me and Sal. Fandle.com slash ringer. To enter now, Fandle.com slash ringer. I was really excited about the Mike Evans fantasy thing. Sal, I'm really into fantasy. You know why?

Because I might have an undefeated fantasy team this year. You're undefeated? In your league. In the league we're in. This is the best team I've had in 12 years. I'm really happy of it. I tell strangers about it. I'm back.

I did a whole hottest take last week on our new podcast for Spotify about how fantasy football isn't fun. I rescind those comments. Fantasy football is really fun when your team's good. Wow. I really enjoy myself. You can't win. You can't win.

You make it to the playoffs. It's the same thing every year. You'll make it to the playoffs. You're the 2012 Bengals. How dare you. We'll see you for a short time. How dare you. And that's that. You make it to the playoffs. It's the same thing every year. You'll make it to the playoffs. You're the 2012 Bengals. We'll see you for a short time. At the most points in the league. Speaking of making it to the playoffs and then choking, let's talk about your Cowboys.

So you're 3-0. You got a little sweaty during that Dolphins game yesterday. Then it all worked out. I did a little power pull. I'm going to ask you. I think everybody has the Pats and Chiefs as the

top two teams right now. Who would you have for your next four? I think Dallas is third. I don't know. Oh, here we go. Reverse kicks time, everybody. No, no, no.

They've played the Giants. Say what you want about Danny Dimes. That secondary is still atrocious and was probably at its worst week one. They played the Redskins and the Dolphins. So I think we're good. I don't know if we're better than the Rams. If you had to decide between the Rams and the NFC or the Cowboys and the NFC, you would take the Cowboys?

I think if you have home field, it's going to matter more than it would for the Rams. Yeah, for sure. That would be my caveat. If you can somehow pull off the NFC title game at home, I think that's significant. Here's who I have. New England KC. Then I have Dallas and the Rams and Baltimore as 3-4-5. I have the Ewing Theory Extraordinary Colts at 6 as my sleeper. And then I have the New Orleans Green Bay Houston group at 7-8-9.

Minnesota and Chicago 10-11. And then I have the three teams that who knows if they're the September rabbits or not Buffalo, San Francisco and Detroit, 12, 13, 14. It's, it's a weird season because we have two really good teams. I think new England, Kansas city. And then we have three really bad teams, Washington, the jets of Miami. And there's a lot of people in the middle that could shape shift depending on how the season goes and who gets injured and all that. But I think your team's looking good,

especially if Philly gets knocked out here and they keep having injuries. They're one and two now. You know, you might be able to put that division away by the Thanksgiving game. I'll stop it. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah.

I said it. I said it. Put it out already. Would you trade for Jalen Ramsey? Why'd you laugh? We already screwed that up. We already passed on him and screwed that. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know what to think of this. By the way, you scared the crap out of me all week. I think I woke up one day midweek. I was like, oh, my God. I root for losers. What if the Dolphins come to Big D and win this game? This could be bad. And then every text you sent me during the week is like, I if the Dolphins come to Big D and win this game? This could be bad.

And then every text you sent me during the week is like, I love the Dolphins. I love you, Louis Dreyfus. I love, I was like, you mean the Cowboys, right? You screwed it up like three times. You said Dolphins. And I was like, oh, that's an omen. They're going to be close.

And by the way, they weren't. It was 10-6. And what was it? Drake fumbled inside the 10 before half. And then it just, then they just fell apart. I just have a feeling the Dolphins are historically one of the worst teams that we've ever seen. I'm just not getting a good...

We'll know better. If Dallas goes to New Orleans this Sunday night, we'll get a much better read on that team. I think that was a classic don't want to show anything with a big game coming up in a week performance. Where you're playing a terrible team, you know you're going're gonna win you're just trying to get out of the game alive you're back up running back out a lot of carries they played it perfectly so well here's the thing

let me just say this we're almost a month into the season here's what i was worried about yesterday i was like we have to see bad jason garrett or bad andy reed at some point this is a lot of games now this is this is six games that we haven't seen this from either team. Could it be that just both these squads are put together so well that it doesn't matter who's coaching at this point. I'm going the other way. Here's my theory. I think coaching collectively has gotten worse.

And the Jason Garrett, Andy Reed combo is actually becoming more favorable as the years pass. I mean, did you see Freddy Kitchens yesterday? Really bad. I don't even know if that was an offense. I've made this joke a million times, but it really was the case yesterday.

It was like playing my son in Madden, where he just spreads the receivers out and they just run straight lines and the quarterback goes backwards and throws off his back foot. It was so bad. The funniest thing with doesn't he's the first coach in like 10 years who doesn't cover his face when he calls the plays you notice that right everyone else is putting the menu over their face so nobody can can read their lips he's like i don't care i don't

we're not even running plays read my lips you should do it in the press conferences put the menu over his lips because he's making even less sense there. Like I don't know like that you won't see a worse fourth and nine call than just a straight handoff off tackle to Chubb and then like you said like empty back field at the goal line or at the four yard line first and goal

you knew there were three passes coming the Rams defend that 10 yards behind him better than anybody and they're gonna they're gonna bring pressure. What are you doing? What is anyone doing? I know their offensive line isn't good, but it's also a criminal misuse of Landry and Beckham.

You just think like, you just tell those two guys, just get open. Just little pick plays for each other, little crosses, little outs. You're each getting 10 catches a game. That's how I remember Landry on the Dolphins or whoever. It was just little four-yard slants, and then he has 11 receptions

for 77 yards, whatever. Drives didn't stall with him in there. That's how I remember it. I'm wondering this. Let me ask you this. Coaches pride themselves on like, you know, we,

oh, we worked 93 hours. They get in at five in the morning. How about sleep a little? Because it really looks like they're sleep deprived. A lot of these coaches. Yeah. I can't,

I can't watch a fourth and short with Pete Carroll anymore. I don't know what has to happen before, um, before he's done. Like if he just like, Hey, this is where you go to the restroom. All right.

You're, you're getting up in age. Take a bathroom break on fourth and one because you just can't do it anymore. You see kind of the same things out of every coach now as you would players. It's very strange. Yeah, when I did that power pull, I had Seattle as 15.

I had 15, 16, and 17, the enigmatic enigmas. What's that tier? Seattle, the Chargers, and the Falcons. I don't know what's going to happen with those three teams. But with Seattle, that was just a shoot yourself in the foot the whole game game. And you think they barely pulled the Pittsburgh game out in week two. I don't know what to make of that team. Chargers are one and two.

They gave that game away to Detroit last week. Even yesterday, they could have won that game away to Detroit last week. Even yesterday, they could have won that game. Benjamin dropped a pass late. And then the Falcons, it felt like if that game was 10 more minutes, that Colts game, they would have won. Because once T.Y. went out,

it was really tough for the Colts to move the ball. And the Falcons were lights out offensively. And they just kind of ran out of time. But I, I actually liked the way the Falcons played in that game. I think the Colts are really good and the Falcons went toe to toe with them. So those three teams, which one would you believe in out of those three teams going forward? I would tell the Chargers too. I know they beat the, they beat the Chargers yesterday, but I just, I watched the first half and, and, uh, Watson throwing probably the worst pass I've ever seen, or when he spiked it into the turf, whatever you want to call that a lateral.

I don't know what he did, but you really don't know what, these are all teams that should be so much better than they are. And, uh, the Falcons. Yeah. You look at their line. Ryan was 29 for 34, three or four, three touchdowns and one interception. You look at that and you're like, all right, they won by 13 over Indianapolis, but reset was right there.

He had very similar numbers. They played good defense when they need to, and they moved the ball. And they're a fun team. I'm going to give you credit. You like the Colts? I think your motives were a little sketchy. Why? Well, you needed Andrew Luck to look like the dog here.

What does that mean? Andrew Luck never did anything to me. All he did was lose to my favorite team all the time he played them well that was it you had to prove it take that this is another extra fu for deflate gate and everything else but what's your the the the colts of the thing the prediction you're most proud of which is which are you least what do you who are you cutting bait with well i've i've had a really good first three weeks. And the Colts, riding the Colts week after week, I'm excited about.

I think they're legitimately good. The Hilton thing really worries me. But their next seven, Sal? Yeah. Home for Oakland this week. At KC, that's going to be tough. Home for Houston-Denver. At Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh might be out of it by that point. And be tough. Home for Houston, Denver. At Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh might be out of it by that point. And then home for Miami, Jacksonville. There's a chance they're going to be, I mean, they could be 8-2 at the 10-game mark. Seriously. They could be. Nah, you don't trust them that much. I think they're good. I think they're well coached.

I think they're good. The other thing, we talked about how we thought the NFC was better than the AFC. If you look at the two conferences, right now there's only six above 500 AFC teams. And if

you're thinking like, who's going to make the playoffs? It's out of the teams that are one and two or lower, it's really just the teams that are 1 and 2 or lower it's really just the Chargers and Jags that you could make a case for I'm not crossing off anyone

else but I think a lot would have to happen for any of the other teams but right now the above 500 teams are KC, Buffalo New England, Houston, Baltimore and Indy and then the Chargers are 1 and 2 and the Jags are 1-2. It's just not that good of a conference.

And then you look at the other conference, you have eight teams that are above 500, plus Chicago's 1-1. And you have the Falcons that are 1-2. And you have the Panthers and Eagles that are both 1-2. The Panthers looked like really legitimately good yesterday with the new quarterback. Eagles, even though it's been a rough season for them,

you can't count them out yet. I think we have to remember this going forward. The NFC just might be significantly better this season. Well, I think there are better options for the NFC four through six, but that AFC top three is dynamite. I don't know how much you'd have to put down. You wouldn't get even odds. No way.

I don't think on Patriots Chief have to put down. You wouldn't get even odds, no way, I don't think, on Patriots-Chiefs AFC Championship right now. Right. I'd love to see Chiefs-Ravens again as a conference semifinal. So those three teams are very solid. I know the Ravens, they had some issues yesterday, but those top three are really good. But I think you're right. I don't know.

Do we want to give the Bills one of those wild card spots? They're 3-0. They play the Patriots this week, but then you're right. The Browns don't look great. The Jags look good on an ugly Thursday night game with rain and penalties and everything else, and the Chargers are the enigma. What do you do? They're probably the best wildcard option out there, but they're only one and two, and there's probably more losses coming. Yeah, you can make the case for the Chargers that they're not healthy right now, and they're going to get some guys back

as the season goes along that are difference makers for them. The Bills, offensively, have been rocky. Defensively, are a top three defense, maybe even top two. So, you know, considering they get to, defensively, are a top three defense, maybe even top two. So, you know, considering they get a couple more Jets-Miami games and et cetera, et cetera, I think it's realistic they could get to 10 wins. This sounds stupid. I can't even believe I'm saying this.

Josh Allen, I think, is now in my top 15 quarterbacks. Maybe I'm not even saying that much here. Yeah. That I'd want to have the ball down four with one drive left in the fourth quarter. I agree, he's got it. And it's weird because he doesn't throw the ball downfield that much,

but he does make some plays. I think if you look at the eight teams that are above 500 now in the NFC, I think Detroit falls out. And I know the Niners are 3-0, and their offensive stats have been pretty impressive, but they're really sloppy. And I haven't seen enough from them yet that makes me...

Even yesterday, they turned the ball over five times. Three of them were just, they handed the ball to Pittsburgh. It wasn't even like Pittsburgh forced turnovers. San Francisco was just like, here, take the ball. And they still somehow won. So I think there's going to be more flux in the NFC. But I like how this season has gone.

I think there's a lot of teams in the mix. And from a gambling standpoint, I think it's been pretty fun. So who's the worst undefeated team? You would say San Francisco or Detroit? Oh, say San Francisco or Detroit. Oh, Detroit. Detroit, definitely.

Cowboys, Packers, Patriots, Chiefs, all solid, I think. Detroit definitely is the worst. Really? Yeah. Yeah, that game they won last week against the Chargers was fraudulent. And then, you know, Patricia is just dying to give away these games. He turned the Arizona game into a tie. The game was over.

And then yesterday, really bizarre time management, and they end up settling for a 46-yard field goal that was really dangerous for a lot of different reasons, and it ends up getting blocked. And they sure lost that game too. I don't know. Eagles is a good win. Chargers is a good win. Maybe we come around on Matt Patricia a little.

Maybe we give Doug Peterson a little crap. Lost two games he maybe could have won at Atlanta and yesterday. He stared Bill Belichick in the eye and beat him. I'll give him no slack. The Ewing Theory Colts, Brissette is 2-1, but then Jimmy G is 3-0 and Lamar Jackson who the Pats could have taken last year

they took Sonny Michel instead is the worst running back worst starting running back in football right now he's he's 2-1 so all the possible

Brady backups that we could have had the last few years are 7-2 so and yet the Angels Tom Brady preserves we have to talk about Antonio Brown just because if we don't that we could have had the last few years are seven and two. And yet the age of Tom Brady perseveres. We have to talk about Antonio Brown just because if we don't,

people are going to email us and go on our Twitter page and be like, you ducked the Antonio Brown thing. It's not a fun story. I stand by the fact that they got him. I don't think they knew that he had a civil trial for a sexual assault coming. I don't think they knew that he was going to harass somebody who accused him of stuff and try to intimidate them while he was a Patriots employee, which means he had to go.

And he did. And I don't know whether it was worth the risk or not. I personally think, why not? It was pretty low risk. I don't think they knew some of the stuff that was coming. The guy clearly had some major issues and they cut bait and that's it. Let's move on. I don't remember you

ever saying, oh, it's time to get rid of this guy in that 13-day stretch. That's the only thing I... What are you talking about? All the tech stuff happened like Wednesday night. And then it was like they got rid of him in 30 hours. Yeah, but am I supposed to use my Twitter feed?

I just assumed he was going at that point. That was insane. And then it was like they got rid of him in 30 hours. Yeah, but am I supposed to use my Twitter feed? He's got to go? No, I just assumed he was going at that point. That was insane. Who does that? He had to go. Well, they're not as dominant without him. I mean, they gave up points to the Jets yesterday, I will say. Does he get a Super Bowl ring?

Let me ask you that. I would say no. They're not as dominant. First of all, have they waived Gunner yet? not yet I've checked Twitter I don't see anything yet our friend Hanch

he's insane huge Pats fan he's ready to actually drive to Foxborough to release Gunner himself he was so fired up for the no touchdown streak and then Gunner just

muffs Gunner who was really I was excited for him, but man, was he bad. Duh, the last three games. He did nothing. And then fumbles a punt, and the Jets end up scoring. And then they bring in the backup QB who throws a pick six.

Well, I felt bad for Brady there. I don't feel bad for Brady a lot because there's really no reason to. But he finally gets a break. He's like, oh, I don't have to play fourth quarter in a 30-point game. This is nice. And Stidham comes in and throws that. He's like, you motherfucker. Now I'm back in all these games.

Great. Well, and they blew the cover. They were actually covering. It was 23-0. That's right. Or 30-0? What was it? 23-0. Yeah. And somehow didn't cover. But the Cowboys covered, right? Cowboys were the first team

I wrote this down and then I forgot since 2001 I think to cover as a 20 plus point favorite well anyway the Antonio Brown story it was a really fun crazy goofy story the whole the way the Raiders things ended the Pats stepping

in the Pats becoming America's favorite wrestling heel again. And then it just got dark and awful. And that last week was about as unfun as a sports story could be. And it's all right. Brady sent him hearts on Instagram. That's fine. Brady needs to

calm down with some of that stuff. Couple other things I didn't like before we head to Guess the Lines. Actually, let's take a break. Hey, Square, you know them. They make that little white reader that helps lots of businesses around your neighborhood take payments. Like Alexis, who cuts my hair.

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I'll just run my card. Done. Downloading it now. Square.com slash go slash BS. A couple other things I haven't liked before we get to Guest Alliance. Jared Goff, what do we make of him? His last four games dating back to the Patriots Super Bowl

when he was awful. I have not thought he looked great in these first three games, even though his receivers are really, really terrific and seem to be open a lot. And there was a couple times yesterday where they could have just put the Browns

away, specifically when they're up four. They had second and one, handoff stopped. Third and one rolls out. He's got 17 options, throws an incompletion. And then McVay, as always, you think of McVay as this kick-ass, let's go for it guy. He's

actually the opposite on these fourth and one, third and short stuff. He always plays it safe. They end up kicking a field goal and then let the Browns almost come back and win. But I haven't liked what I've seen from Goff at all. And I think giving him the extension was a mistake because I think if they hadn't given him the extension, it would have been the opposite of what's happening with Dak.

I feel like his price would be dropping. What do you think of Goff? Yeah, maybe. I just, I don't know if we give him a fair shake. Like when, when were the rams the most intimidating to you it was before their super bowl year it was it was when todd girley was good i don't know what's for sure wrong with him what do you have 43 yards you know he's only good for like 14 carries a game anyway right now i can't believe the rams did as well as they

did without cooper cup like that guy is a he's a drive saver every single time he he gets going and uh he seems to be open and the only guy wants to really go across the middle but um yeah i can i sense i think like mcveigh is probably a little little down on uh goth how did goth how did goth look on your iphone as you attended the emmys night? What could you really see? I knew you were. What are you thinking? I knew you weren't going to watch the Emmys?

I mean, the Rams game? If I had reception, I was going to definitely throw it on my sling player and try to drown out John Oliver's acceptance speech. Yes, and that's what I did. So what can we do about this john oliver thing i'm not advocating kidnapping him but but maybe think about it i feel like he's been in the way for a while here yeah every m is i talk myself into our cousin actually getting like the one out of nowhere underdog win but now it's to the point maybe we frame john oliver for something could you just

send him heroin just get him like a pound of heroin, just send it to his house and call the police? Like, what can we do? We could do all that. I don't know. Listen, you're an HBO guy. Get it done. Maybe convince him to take a year off to regroup

mentally. Right. Like the power of just taking a year off, maybe doing some travel, remembering why he likes doing the show so much. I don't know. Jon Stewart,

after a while, just forfeit. He's like, don't nominate us anymore, right? Wasn't that the case? He had won so many times. He's like,

I don't want to, I just don't think he wanted to fly out to LA anymore. Yeah. That's what Jon Oliver should do. He should just say, I don't want this anymore. That's it.

A couple other things I didn't like. Marcus Mariota on Thursday night. I mean, he's just not a starting quarterback. Is it more insulting to him or Trubisky when they get compared to each other? If you were either guy, who should be more offended? I think Trubisky because we've seen five years. This is year five, I think, right, of Mariota and Winston? If I called Mariota Trubisky 5-0,

would Trubisky be more offended or Mariota? He should punch you in the face. Yeah, he should give you a punch right in the neck, Trubisky. Another thing I haven't liked, what is Melvin Gordon doing? Can you remember a dumber holdout than this? Does he think his price is being driven up as Austin Eckler and Justin Jackson basically put up the same stats that he would have put up? What is he doing?

What's his goal? That's some really bad advice, right? This is what happens with these top tier. And then you'll see like David Montgomery. You're going to see guys emerge, and it's going to get worse and worse. As you see like third round draft picks at the running back slot, put up good numbers. Yeah.

I don't know what he's up to. Do you think his agent is just going to them? Like, so yesterday they were, they were only 14 for 64, four yards to carry, but Eckler had the huge fumble in week two that helped to cost them the game. So maybe that's what his agent goes to. But man, I don't know who's trading for him and then paying for him. That's not happening. I don't know what... The only thing I was...

How excited are you going to be on Thursday when the Patriots sign him for 90 bucks? Kyle, would you trade Sony for him? Yeah. I would trade Sony for anybody right now. I tried to tell people last year I didn't think Sony was that good and they're like, you don't understand me. All I know is they can't throw him the ball

and he doesn't seem to make anybody miss. So I don't know what I'm missing. I like the guy, but man. It's like you're criticizing a supermodel because she has a mole on her thigh. Well, he's a pretty big mole. Sure. It's like, oh, whatever.

This team is fantastic. You're fine. All I know is my son is the starting running back on his flag football team and can successfully catch a screen pass. And the guy on New England Patriots can't. Speaking of, wouldn't you have loved to to, I bet you should put a top 10 list together or something. You would have loved to have been there

by Coach Belichick's side when you heard that James White was skipping a game to bear witness to his child's birth. Yeah, because this has happened twice now with the Patriots. You're right. There should be a hidden camera on Belichick as his players are telling him they would like to be in the labor and delivery room. He's like, okay. That's good, James.

Good luck. You'll never play again. You'll never play again for me, but enjoy it. I hope the kid is healthy. Yeah, you're going to be returning punts next week. He'll be happy. To cross them off list

for after three weeks. We crossed off the Dolphins after week one. We crossed off the Jets last week. Redskins a cross off if they lose tonight? They lose tonight and then they go to the Giants next week. I'll

wait on them one more week, I think. So we have nobody to cross off this week. Oh, I'll, I'll wait on them one more week. I think. So we have nobody to cross off this week. Well, I was going to say this. There are seven winless teams. Do any of them have a, who,

who has the most legitimate shot? I guess it would have to be Arizona to make the playoffs jets, Miami. Now I see Pittsburgh, Denver, Washington, Arizona. I think it's an,

I think we have to go AFC for this. Cause the NFC is too deep. Right. So I was asking you, uh, who are you most proud of your prediction? Yours was the Colts. Mine is the Packers. I actually think they're good. I really do. Like Rogers is doing things. First of all, he's scoring in the first quarter. Like this is, they did it against the Vikings and he did it, uh, yesterday. And I don't know, cause Marcus Scantling or whoever it is,

like that was the Packers problem offensively. You could say what you want about the floor, but they're kind of scoring early and setting the tone. But they've gone against three really solid defenses. I think the Bears, the Broncos and the Vikings. So I'm proud of that. The one I'm least proud of the Broncos. Oh, and three. I had them as the second wild card in the AFC. Just terrible. You're right. I have to be done with Flacco. Gotta be done with it. We berated you last week, House and I, when House was on for Guess the Lions last week. We berated you to give up the Broncos. I went back one more week. It was a full berating.

You could have joined me on my tease. I know. I know. Million dollar picks. I hit the three big ones again this week. You did hit all three? I had the Colts, the Rams, and I had the Packers Chiefs tees. The only one I lost was freaking Veep. I thought the Emmys was

going to reward the Queen on our last season, and instead they did the Fleabag thing. So unpredictable, right? Yeah. You would think Julie Louis-Dreyfus. You would think Veep. So much, you know, everybody loved those shows

and now Fleabag. Everyone's like, hey, is that worth watching? I was like, yeah. I can't imagine how many people are going to watch Fleabag this week. I mean, not because I told them to, but, right?

Like, I'd love to see the spike in views. I mean, you and I liked it a lot. Fleabag is great. 25 minutes each, just 12 episodes over the two seasons. You can knock it out in two nights. Yeah. Fleabag is great.

At some point we have to talk about just that when we're voting for these awards, when you have six episodes that are 25 minutes each, whether that should be able to dominate all these other things. I love Fleabag. I thought it was my favorite show this year, other than maybe Succession. But it just seems like...

John Oliver, same thing. He's doing, what, 38 half-hour shows a year competing against Colbert and Fallon and Jimmy, who are doing 200 shows a year? Right, yeah. 220? But it's the same thing when they talk about the dramas

where you have seven episodes of a show versus 22 on a network show. It just seems like they should have more categories. I agree with you. Hey, let's do

Guess the Lines. Alright, let's do it. So we have two bye week teams this week, Sal. The 49ers. What did the Jets do to deserve a bye? Like 0-3, they played one home game. Oh, they played two home games.

You guys take the week off. Danny Dimes. Danny Dimes is taking all their shine. Great quote from Adam Gase. He was asked about his offensive game plan. He said he thought it was fine if the Jets had executed some stuff.

What a dick. He's not wrong. What a dick. It's like people think Belichick is a dick, but Adam Gase is the real dick. He's done this over and over again. It couldn't hurt at this point.

Thursday night, fascinating Thursday night game. You have the Packers at home against the Philadelphia Eagles. Alshon Jeffries sat out on Sunday, and I think they really miss him. I know my fantasy team misses him. He's going to actually play on Thursday. I think he took off Sunday hoping they would pull it out and then he could play on Thursday, and that didn't work. And this is a borderline must win for Philly

because you go one and three in the NFC where it's going to take at least 10 wins to make the playoffs. The other thing is their next five weeks, they have three road games against currently undefeated teams, Green Bay, Dallas, and Buffalo. So I hate calling a random Thursday night road game

in week four a must win, but Sal, must win, right? Yeah, well, they'll have to beat Dallas, I think. That's the big game. You four must win, but Sal must win, right? Yeah. Well, they'll, they'll have to beat Dallas. I think that that's the, the big game. You have to win one of those. You don't want to fall one and three. I don't know if this factors into the line, but I'll, I will be there. I'll be on the pregame show.

Um, this is where Fox's coverage starts. Oh yeah. You're doing it. What's a plug for the Cubs? I'm flying out to Green Bay Tuesday. I got one of those things where I'm flying out like 4 p.m. and get to Green Bay at 2 in the morning because there's no direct flight.

Have you been to Lambeau? I've never been. You have? Yeah. I went. I wrote about it. It's 2006. If you Google it out there, people who remember when I used to write. I went to Lambeau in 06. We stayed in Milwaukee. We drove three hours. We got lost right when I went to Lambeau in 06. We stayed in Milwaukee.

We drove three hours. We got lost right when we were near Lambeau. We asked somebody and they were like, see that Kmart? Take a right. It's right there. It's out of control. Lambeau is the greatest. You'll love it.

Really? Yeah. Well, you know, I'm doing, I wasn't sure if I wanted to announce this, but as part of my pregame comedy bit, I'm going to attempt the Lambeau leap. Oh, wow. I got all excited about it. I was like, all bit, I'm going to attempt the Lambeau leap. Oh, wow. I got all excited about it. I was like, all right, I'm going to do it. I've been watching a lot of film.

And then I saw Greg Jennings is in at Fox Sports. He's like, you're not going to be able to do that. It's like that wall six feet tall. It's like there's a part of the wall in the north end zone that's a little shorter. But there's no way you could do it. The only way you could do it is if you score a touchdown and you have adrenaline. He's like, we used to walk by the wall all the time and say, we can't get over this thing.

But I'm going to try it. I'm not leaving Lambeau until I succeed. What kind of shape are you in right now? Oh, my God. I'm in really good shape. I only had like 17 miniature hot dogs in a blanket yesterday. I have the Packers laying five and a half to the Eagles. You went a little heavy.

I went a little light. I said minus four. It's four and a half. They put it in the Vegas zone, Bill. So I get that one. Man, that seems low to me. I think the Eagles are going to have trouble moving the ball in this game. I have not been impressed by the people that they were kind of counting on if some people got hurt.

Like, Miles Sanders hasn't looked that good to me. The receivers, I don't know. I think this is a dangerous game for them because the Packers have a good defense, and if they get the lead, we should talk about this later. That's the thing, right? The new Packers have a lead, and then— get the lead we should talk about this later the new Packers have a lead they take care of it they take care of it and the Eagles

I thought the Eagles would come back didn't you think this is kind of what they did to the Redskins they fell behind and they'll do the same thing to the Lions but yeah they don't really have the playmakers out there right now I would say the best defenses are the Pats, the Packers,

Buffalo would be my top three right now from what I've seen. That's good though. Sunday, our marquee game. Chicago at home going against Kirk Cousin. You like that? And the Vikings. So the Vikings

if they have the lead, they're really tough to play. If you can get a lead on them and get Kirk involved, they're actually pretty easy to play. The catch here will be, so we don't know what's going to happen with Trubisky tonight. I assume he's going to do okay. I don't love it. I certainly wouldn't bet on it, but what a Trubisky tonight. I assume he's going to do okay. I don't love it. I certainly wouldn't bet on it,

but what a Trubisky spot. This, this is one where he has to play well. And if he doesn't play well, they're going to have to figure out what to do. Cause I think that, Oh, we,

I left them out there. They're one of the best four defenses. Chicago has to be in that mix too. Right? So if he doesn't play well in this game, I think they really have to think about what they're going to do. Because there's guys they could trade for. What do you mean what they're going to do?

He's their guy. They have to stay with him. I don't know. You look at Mariota year five in Tennessee, and it's like we kind of knew two years ago with Mariota, and they've just kind of doubled down and tripled down on him, and now they're completely screwed. I just think Trubisky,

Mariota, he and Winston will probably play another eight years in this league. God, I'm not sure. I don't think they panic with the Vegas is panicking a little though. I'll say that. What did you have for this? I have a bears by two and a half.

You nailed it. I said the full three and full three would have made sense in the beginning of the year. The Bears were expected to win this division, but they've adjusted Vegas. They're like, nope, this is a second-tier NFC North team, not even giving them the full three points. I guess a short week doesn't help. I think that's Trubisky-related entirely.

Because I would love the Bears in this game if their quarterback was even decent. Just, like, give me decent. Their defense can win. They'll get the lead. The game's over. But I don't trust them at all. And I think, ugh.

I just don't see it with Trubisky. I said it last week. I don't see it. I really don't. I don't think he has it. Yeah, maybe. I just thought this would be one of those low-scoring games. I don't know.

Like, Cousins, you look at his numbers. Is this the perfect game for the Vikings? He throws 21 passes, completes 15 for under 174. There's a touchdown. 175 is a touchdown. But Cook is awesome. He just goes crazy. Cook's really good. They're running backs are excellent. And D-Wade is a touchdown, but Cook is awesome. He just goes crazy. Cook's really good.

Their running backs are excellent. And Diggs is a big catcher too. It's funny though that Diggs has kind of disappeared. It's basically Thielen. Yeah, not kind of. Yeah. You get like one touchdown

called back or something and then he's nothing the rest of the way. We'll do the rest of the slate in a second. We're going to take a break. Let's talk about JustWorks. JustWorks makes it easier

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My name, justworks.com slash Bill Simmons. Oh, and since we're here, forgot our NBA preview starts today on The Ringer. So check that out, including Tyler Parker, a wonderful writer. He's going to preview all 30 NBA teams. And I can't wait. I haven't been this excited for an NBA preview gimmick in a long time.

So check that out on TheRinger.com. Okay, the watchables. Four watchables this week, Sal. The first one, it really wanted to be in the Sunday marquee game, but I just don't think I trust Josh Allen yet. The Patriots are playing in Buffalo. We're going to find out a lot about this Buffalo team. It really wanted to be in the Sunday marquee game, but I just don't think I trust Josh Allen yet. The Patriots are playing in Buffalo. We're to find out a lot about this Buffalo team.

I will tell you this. The crowd's going to be incredible. I look forward to seeing all the videos before the game of Bills fans jumping off trailers into tables and doing all the things that they do. The atmosphere will be awesome. And I still think the Patriots should be favored by seven and a half. You nailed it. You did it exactly.

I looked at this Patriots team. I said, I don't care about those two dumb touchdowns. The jet scored. They're still double digit favorite over everyone. I thought it was nine, nine and a half right in there, but you got it.

It is seven and a half. And you got it. It is 7.5. You love this as a teaser game. Absolutely. Now, I have some concerns with this game. Go ahead. Julian Edelman left that Jets game and his shoulder chest thing, something seemed off. They said he was

out for the rest of the game with a chest thing. Right now, it is 9 o'clock Pacific time AM, so I have not heard the Edelman update yet. But Kyle and I are concerned, right? That did not look like Edelman just being healthy this week. And if they don't have him, they're in a lot of trouble with 3rd and 7th,

3rd and 8th type of situations because it's him and Dorsett because they don't really have the tight end situation at all anymore. I guess James White they could throw out of the backfield. Well, maybe that labor will go on for a week. Did he have the kid yet? Oh, my God. I think he had it.

Hopefully he's coming back. Josh Gordon's hurt. He did not look very flash-like. He made one good play, but he's got some hand injury. And I think it's going to be a little tough for them to throw the ball in this game, would be my guess. And the Bills, they have a cornerback. That guy White is out of control.

I mean, he might be the best corner. Him and Gilmore, there's a really good corner, but there's been some really good elite cornerbacking this year, and those two have been way up there. But this is a nice spot for the Bills. My question for them is the Pats' defense is so good, how are they going to move the ball? So this feels like, what's the over-under in this game?

This feels like a classic under. Let me see here. Which, as you know, I'm never right on unders. Wait, I'll find it. Hold on. Over, under. Well, what do you think it is? I would have said 40.

43.5. That's what it is. Is that what it is? Yeah. Oh, interesting. I would have said 40. Well, here's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for Patriotsots odds to win the East.

And if they were somehow to blow this game, I think they're like minus 4,000 right now. But if they were to blow this, what's the most it could come down to with the Bills being in first place? Probably like 4-1, something like that, minus 400. Oh, really? Still that low, huh? Yeah. That's it. We're emptying our bank accounts

we got to do that I would love to do that okay good let's all root for the Bills another watchables this is another one I like that two of our

undefeated rabbit teams both have big home games against good teams the Lions are home against the Chiefs of Kansas City yeah

six undefeated teams four are playing each other this is a fun one. Great. I texted you yesterday and I said, Mahomes' touchdown overrunner is only two and a half. What are we doing? And you said, you texted me back a tweet of the rain.

And you said... The field looked like nobody wanted to walk on it. I think you said this to me two weeks ago. Just bet Mahomes every single game for the over for touchdowns and what could go wrong? He's going to go like 13 of 16 games. He'll throw at least three touchdowns. So we let another one go yesterday.

He's the only one that I would go consistently over two and a half because they have these over under totals. But in my defense, I know I talked you out of that. That was bad. But I also texted you in-house when the Ravens were up 6-0. I said, the Chiefs are minus 120 right now. Yeah. No one did anything.

Well, I already had money on them. That's right. Yeah. Minus 120 with that team at home is crazy. I have the Chiefs laying four and a half points in Detroit. Well, you went low. I said seven. It is actually seven right now.

No believers in Maddie Patricia. The pencil. Now you want to talk teasers. Can we throw that one in the teaser? Teaser basket? Would have to be in a teaser. Teaser basket. I don't know how we lose that.

The Chiefs just roll, but they don't have more than a bad quarter. And then they more than make up for it the rest of the way. McCall Hardman, it really doesn't matter who's flying. We did the whole over text, are we sure Tyreek Hill is good thing. Well, I texted you. I was waiting for one more bad Hardman week,

and then I was going to try to trade for him from you because that guy's one of the fastest wide receivers I've ever seen in my life. And then, of course, he had the 83-yarder. So you're not trading him, I'm guessing. So good. You have to start all those guys, right? Robinson, there was a big controversy in our league this year, this week. I think that might be

the best team. Better than your team? I think they win any shootout. It's too easy for them to score. Mahomes is the best quarterback I've ever seen in my life. Brady's the greatest quarterback I've ever seen. Mahomes is the best. I can't believe the plays

he makes during these games. I've never seen anything like it. What's the difference? I don't believe the plays he makes during these games. I've never seen anything like it. What's the difference? Brady's the greatest quarterback of all time, but Mahomes is the most talented quarterback I've ever seen in my life. Accomplishment-wise, Brady's great. Yeah. He's just unbelievable. How much different is it than last

year? The Patriots out-slugged him. Are you just like the loss of Gronk and everything? You're counting that? Well, we lose the game if Dee Ford's a step backwards. I don't know. I just think you'll be home this year for it. Will we, though? We'll see.

I don't know. Honestly, if you beat the Bills this week, it really is looking like you're going to have home field throughout. Well, that would really help. The thing with KC is, you know, LeSean McCoy, who was pretty forgettable the last couple of years, but you put him on a team where everybody's spread out

and you have to worry about all these receivers in a 50-yard radius, basically, because Mahomes could throw the ball anywhere. And suddenly LeSean McCoy looks good again. He was limping in the tunnel before the game. Yeah. They weren't even sure if he was going to play, and he ends up being a fantasy delight.

He's still a little shifty. I think that team is lights out. I really think that team is awesome. The one catch with them is they can't stop the run again, which Baltimore just could not figure out how to exploit correctly. They fell behind. They couldn't really control exploit correctly. But they fell behind. They couldn't really do the control the ball thing like they wanted to. Well, that's exactly right.

They do it right, the Chiefs. They step on your throat, so it's 21-6 or whatever, and then, yeah, you'll be able to run against us, but there's not enough time to just keep running against us. I'm teasing the Chiefs. Put that in the teaser basket. Our ringer social team, Pat, Logan, all those guys, we should just create a little teaser basket graphic. Our heads on these weird little small bodies,

just us throwing teams in a little basket. Teaser basket. Like an Easter basket, but like a teaser basket. It's a nice little happy basket. We're just throwing teams in there. Chiefs, minus seven, that's in there. Another one, Ravens at home against the Browns. It's a nice little happy basket. We're just throwing teams in there. Chiefs, minus seven. That's in there. Another one.

Ravens at home against the Browns. The Browns have a really brutal stretch coming up. They're one and two, and they have Baltimore, San Francisco, Seattle, New England as their next four. Good luck with that. And what did we decide Freddie Kitchens' nickname was going to be? I like Fraudy Kitchens. Fraudy K's a fraud he really is is he better than hugh jackson and we had hugh jackson on last week i'll lock it in i asked him how much he roots against the brown scale of one to ten he diplomatically said one but

he's got to be love loving this right i was gonna say i think you should just book freddie for lock it in for like sept 10th, 2020. Just get book them now. Get his hotel room already. His plane ticket. Cause he's going to be there. The poor Browns fans. How do they end up with this? The worst possible coach all the time.

Like Greg Williams is probably the best coach they've had this decade. And he's terrible. Yeah. Right. Oh my God. I have a smart ones. Probably didn't get overly excited, like Vegas did, making them the AFC North favorite to win.

Wow. We've had a very good year. I really hope people appreciate the performance that we've had the last five weeks. And one of the things we warn people was do not trust this Browns team. I'm throwing the Ravens in the teaser basket already. I'm guessing Ravens by six and a half. All right.

Here's what gets me a little nervous. I had them by seven. I said they're a full touchdown favorite, better than this team, especially at home. It's five and a half. Why should this be five and a half? You win this game, but why is it five and a half? The Ravens defense, are we sure it's good?

That would be the only thing I could think of. I don't know. I guess. I guess that's it, but player for player. I don't know. I just don't think we're going to see the Odell. We saw it against the Jets Monday night, but those 70-yard sprints to the end zone

are going to be few and far between. I just have a weird feeling. I don't see it a lot. Warren Sharp, who's a good Twitter follow, he had screenshots of the four formations the Browns ran when they were on the 11-yard line trying to tie the game late last night. Yeah. It's brutal.

It's just like, what is that team doing? I don't see it getting better. They're just not equipped intellectually to beat a team like the Ravens in Baltimore, in my opinion. The only thing I'll say is, and it's nice when we can key in on a game. Like, we had the Rams yesterday because McVay's better than Kitchens. Like, that's it. You could really stop analyzing. Rest your brain right there.

That's going to take over at some point during the game. It's going to be a big difference. I'm not sure Harbaugh is, by the way, not a great week for the Harbaugh brothers in general. Honestly, you might have Jake and Logan Paul in their coaching teams. It might be a better deal. But that's only a slight advantage right now, I think,

coaching-wise. that's only a slight advantage right now I think coaching wise well Harbaugh, the Baltimore Harbaugh did the thing where he went for the two point they didn't get it, they went for the two point again they didn't get it and they're down five instead of down three here's an idea, how about kicking the extra point that would have helped being down three is better than being down five

I don't know well the kicker's not that good you can't trust Tucker I'm't know. Well, the kicker's not that good. Yeah. You can't trust Tucker. You're one of the four best kickers ever. I'm throwing the Ravens in the teaser basket. All right. I am too, but I don't love that five and a half. I don't know why I'm freaked out by it.

Rams-Bucks in LA. This line's going to be high, and it concerns me a little bit only because of the Rams, the bucks is garbage time potential. I have the Rams by nine and a half. Yeah. You nailed it,

which leads me to believe you're cheating a little bit. I had eight and a half. It is nine and a half. Exactly. This would have been a lot more fun if the Tampa Bay was two and one. Yeah. Had a decent kicker two and one versus three. No,

we can could have convinced ourselves that this was going to be a close game. This is a little flashbacks to the 1980 NFC title game. 1980. Oh yeah. Right. Right. Vince Ferragamo gets Doug Williams.

I'm going to, I'm going to say, God, that's 40 years ago. I can barely remember. But yeah. Yeah. Um,

well, it was, it was an AFC. It was NFC championship championship too wasn't it yeah wait what year did you say i'm gonna say 1980 or 1979 yeah but there was also the the greatest show on turf year this was the member oh yeah then they ran it back yeah every 20 years and there was this uh was the impetus of replay challenge or something what was it emmanuel who was the oh yeah bird emmanuel yeah man thank god for that because if we didn't have that a replay challenge or something. What was it? Emmanuel? Who was the receptionist? Oh, yeah. Bird Emmanuel. Yeah.

Man, thank God for that because if we didn't have that, we never would have had replay challenge. The slowest... Yeah, it's getting good. The slowest four minutes of everybody's life. I am amazed, though.

The coaches continue to not challenge the pass interferences on the right times. Well, I don't know what's the right time. Has anything been overturned, really? There's been some times when it seems like if they had thrown it it would have been overturned

and then they'll throw it when it has no chance of being overturned they haven't figured it out yet they need to crunch the data more the barely watchables we have four games for this first one Atlanta at home against Trubisky 5-0 and the Tennessee Titans.

And I'm throwing this in the teaser basket, Sal. I don't want to say that I truly believe in this Falcons team because we all know how that goes and we all know Matt Ryan should never be trusted under any circumstances. But from what I've seen and I've watched every minute of all three weeks of football, the Falcons are much better than the Titans and should be able to move the ball and score more points and win the game.

I have the Falcons by six. I'm putting in the teaser basket. Another scary line. We both had six old tie. Vegas started at five and it, for some reason has gone down to four and a half. Yeah. Because I think they still think Tennessee's

decent and they're not. They're not decent. Ten days to prepare. No, Tennessee's not good. Cross them off. I hate the Falcons as a favorite. Good teams as a favorite. Who do you trust the least? The Chargers, the Falcons. These teams all kind of

fall in the same. You had the three before. Who did you have? Which three? It was in your 14th or 16th year. Oh, the enigmatic enigmas Seattle, the Chargers, and the Falcons Yeah, all those, you can throw the Texans in there too as a four point favorite at home or four or five I know they're going to win, but

I don't want to sit through that last quarter of misery. Well, I have the Texans as a different team this year Every game they play is going to be a fun team. They just can't help it. If they're behind, they're going to come back. If they have the lead, they're going to blow it. Every game is fun with them.

I support the Texans. Deshaun is really... I hope he can stay healthy. He's really... I don't know. Do they have in the next-gen stats? I'd love to know who's been hit the most. I'm sure they have that, but he's got to be up there. Right. Well, I don't know. Do they have in the next-gen stats? I'd love to know who's been hit the most. I'm sure they have that, but he's got to be up there. Right.

Well, I don't— He threw that terrible pass, but aside from that, I'm with you. I hope and pray that line gets to 3.5. Falcons by 3.5, I would have to bet it, and then I could just scream about how much I hate the Falcons when they somehow blow it. Such a scary team. You know, the one thing with them is their running backs are bad.

And then Judge Ito got hurt yesterday. But Ito's hurt. Keanu Neal was out. I think he has an Achilles. That's going to be bad for him. Like second season ending injury for him. I'm glad you brought that up. That was the dumbest play of the day yesterday.

He tore his Achilles, fell down non-contact, and was so upset, he took his helmet off and he threw it. They call him for a 15-yard penalty. Oh, right, yeah. He's like, my fucking foot is dangling off my leg. I'm mad about it. They don't pick up the flag. They're like, fuck you, 15 yards.

Yeah, that was bad. Yeah, if you swear, they're stretchering you off. You have to make sure you're at home. They should make a rule that if you can show the ref your foot dangling off your leg, maybe pick up the flag. Right, in an immediate x-ray or something. Uh-oh. Kyle, get the teaser basket ready.

We have another one coming. We're going to Indianapolis. Oh, I know you love this. They're hosting the Raiders. Can we really bet on Indianapolis four weeks in a row on million-dollar picks? I'm up $1.26 million in million-dollar picks, though. I can't even tell if that's a lot of money or anything, a million-dollar pick. What does that mean?

I bet a million dollars every week. I'm up $1.26 million. All right. You're up one unit? I won $800,000 last week. The Colts I have laying six and a half to the Raiders. You're going to edge me out here. I said six, and it is seven.

Well, I guess so if you like the Colts here, and I do as well. But we're crossing off the Raiders after this week then, right? We are. I'm going to give you a couple of red flags for the Colts. T.Y. Hilton limped off. We have no idea if he's coming back. They barely held on

in the game against the Falcons yesterday. It's just a bunch of first and second year receivers and the tight ends. That's it. Marlon Mack, who is playing hurt, who is actually really good in the second half, but they don't have that one guy

that he can go to on third and A other than the tight ends. They really need T.Y. Hilton because he opens up so many things for them. And once he left the game, it felt different. And that would be my fear with this. But I just say the Raiders.

So they had one good game and two bad games. They kind of are who we thought they were. Remember, we thought they were going to go under six games. I still feel pretty good about that one. But this is a stay away from me. I don't know. I think the Colts win the coaching matchup. I like right over Gruden right here.

West Coast coming east-ish. Not great probably for the Raiders. I'd love to see a stat on that so far, how that's worked out this year, playing the early game for a West Coast team. But I think it comes down to a Vinatieri field goal and if he's feeling it or not. He was good. He was good yesterday.

The Colts have been undervalued for three straight weeks, and this is the first week where you're not getting any value with them. So that might be a still win. Next game, Houston at home against the Panthers. Not throwing this game in the teaser basket because I don't trust Houston, as we discussed before. Cam's backup was good. And I wish I had thought of this.

I didn't bet on the Panthers game, but in our ZFL, the picks pool, Kyle Allen going to be better than him. This guy was actually better than decent and really gave them some life. Now they're playing Arizona and Cliff Kingsbury, so who knows? But I think they're a little frisky as a road dog. I have Houston giving seven and a half at home. Well, you went high. I went a little

lower, but still high. I said six. It's four and a half right in the Vegas zone. It started at four. It only went up to four and a half right in the vega zone and started four it only went up to four and a half that's a mistake i don't love this i'll tell you what else i didn't love i didn't love being frisked by 400 um emmy security people i was like oh this is crazy i have to get through all these little um checkpoints i was like there's some quarterbacks i really want to watch for those 4 p.m games dann. Danny Dimes, Kyle Allen, Mason Rudolph, Kyler Murray, Teddy Two Gloves. That was before the Texans Chargers.

That was that. I was like, there were so many good quarterbacks to watch in that late afternoon game. And I think you're right with this Kyle Allen. Who goes out there and throws for four touchdowns? And they were invigorated by him, which was the bigger thing. The whole team really responded to him, which Mason Rudolph, who I had 10-1 parlays that me and House did with the Steelers,

parlaying them with the Lions who won, the Saints who won, and the Bengals who won. So we're going to win two out of three 10-1 odds. All the Steelers had to do was take care of business. The Niners are begging them to take the game. And Mason Rudolph for two and a half quarters was as bad as you can be. Then he finally started to kind of settle down. I'm still not sure.

I don't know if it was nerves for him or what. I need to see him again. I wasn't that impressed though, I got to say. He didn't really settle down. He ended up 14 for 27. Juju Smith-Schuster broke two crazy tackles to score on that long one. The other pass was good. The other touchdown pass was nice.

He looked to the right side and came back. I don't know. 49ers turned the ball over five times. Like four times. It was middle of the second quarter. They had four turnovers. It was a bad loss. So that line seems too low to me, and I don't know why.

Houston's D is still frisky. A team like Cleveland can only get so many points because Odell has a chance to break a 70-yarder. A team like the Panthers on the road can only get so many points because Christian McCaffrey, I mean, he's unbelievable. He had a chance to, he had to decide, oh, should I stiff arm this guy? Or, I don't know, why would I bother?

I could outrun him in a race. That's it. Right. He can go for 200, you know, 10 games this year. Well, with the Panthers, what's different about them this year than in years past is they really have weapons now. Because McCaffrey is a top five running back, obviously.

Olsen still is Olsen. He's the tail end of his career, but he can still get open. And then I really like their two receivers. I like Moore. And then Samuel, they have this new, I was telling Kyle yesterday about these next-gen stats, these air yards that they keep track of now, where it's like they just measure how many yards somebody was open during the course of a game.

And that guy's blazing fast and he's open a lot. Last week, he led the league in air yards this week. He had a better game fantasy wise, but I really liked their weapons. And it's just like, you give them a decent quarterback. They might actually be pretty good.

I wouldn't rule that team out. Cause I think cam was the reason that they didn't win that Tampa game in week two. I'm with you. I think Kyle Allen recognizes these air yards better than Cam Newton. Yeah. He might have a good career in the XFL. He's got the flashy hats and everything.

Think of how the XFL will dress him in the post-game press conferences. It'll be like the new day. Very colorful, flashy. It'll be like, it'll be like the new day, right? Very just colorful, flashy outfits. It'll be fun. This is a stay away. Stay away from this game, America. Next game, another stay away. Arizona

is home against a Seattle team that has maybe concussed Pete Carroll and I don't know what's going on. Russell Wilson is putting up huge fantasy points all of a sudden. Chris Carson's fumbling every game. Their defense isn't as good as we thought it was going to be. It might just be an 8-8 Seahawks team,

which is a bummer because I have a lot of Seahawks fans in my life, and it's more fun when the Seahawks are fun. I have the Seahawks minus three in Arizona. You had three. I had three. Vegas has four. They're going a little higher. They don't trust Kyler Murray as much.

They think Pete Carroll, who took the Marsha Brady football to the face, is going to rebound here. But honestly, I don't like their play calling at all on offense. No, I don't either. Russ doesn't take it. Why not on third and one? That should be his number. He should call his number like three out of five times on third and one.

They get stuck. Fourth and one's a disaster for them all the time. I don't know. I don't think they have enough firepower to put up like 35 points a game. I would like to throw this game in the parlay bucket because here's the thing with Arizona. They're terrible, but they've been able to throw us off the scent because in that Detroit game week one, they came back from 18 late, garbage time. Week two, Baltimore, they were down,

came back, made it interesting. Yesterday, just get killed by Carolina. They've been down by severe double figures in all three games. And now we have three weeks of tape on them. And I just don't think they're that good and this is the game where they get killed and people are like oh so they're one of the four worst teams I don't think people think that yet

I wish I had odds for this but I think it's too I don't think they happen I'm looking it up now I don't see it is who do you pick for a rookie of the year offensive rookie of the year you go Danny Dimes or you go Kyler Murray you got much better odds for Danny Dimes for all these reasons.

Dimes would be so much fun. Yeah. Those are our two best options? There's been some good receivers. Yeah, the receivers never win it, though. I gotta say, I didn't think Metcalf was, I thought he was going to be a bust. That guy's exciting.

He makes, he's fast and he makes plays in traffic. I like that guy. Yeah. He's like, I was the fastest guy in the fricking country. And I was like the sixth drafted receiver. I'm going to, I'm going to show everyone they screwed up here. We should bet on dimes just so we can complain about him when he throws five picks next week.

All right. I'm going to get, I'm going to figure that out. Last barely watchables, Denver, your team, your Broncos. You and John Elway were the last two people who believed in Joe Flacco. I'm going to take them again here. I know I am. Your Broncos going against G. Minshew in Denver. And the Jags, who I thought looked fantastic last week.

And Jalen Ramsey is now doing this thing where he's calling in sick, trying to get traded. Keep Jalen Ramsey is now doing this thing where he's calling in sick, trying to get traded. Keep Jalen Ramsey. That guy's still really good. I think the Jags should just ride this Minshew thing for a couple weeks and see what happens. The guy I would trade is Fournette. He just should be on the Redskins,

rushing 30 yards a game for 3 yards a carry. They need a running back who can be a little more wide open, catch play action screens, all that stuff. I have the Broncos by three. Fournette's body language is so bad, too.

It's the wrong offense. 15 carries in. He broke one to have respectable numbers. You had three. I had three. Vegas has three. They're not taking any chances with this. All right, let's take one more break. One more break to talk about Squarespace, our old friend,

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slash BS offer code BS. Alright, we got four games left, including two games in Kendall's poop bed. Uh-oh. Clean the sheets. Chargers in Miami. Miami

just on an epic run of being massive underdogs against whoever they play. I have the Chargers by 14. You're going to get this. You're going to be off almost a field goal and get this. I don't know why I went 12. That's stupid.

I do this for a living. I should be much closer. 16 and a half, Bill. Started at 16 and 16 and a half. Jesus. That's horrible. So I think the thinking now is We started 14 with the Dolphins Don't care where they're playing

As long as they're playing an established quarterback This is a two touchdown spread And then we work from there Chargers have Miami, Denver, and Pittsburgh For their next three So they could easily be four and two by week six Kyle and I were driving home yesterday And we were listening to some radio show

what was that the NFL it was the NFL Network no it was the NFL and they were talking about Eli and Phil Rivers and one of the guys goes who would you rather have if you were a fan for their careers

would you rather have Eli or Phil Rivers which one would you have rather had? And one of the guys goes, well, Eli won two Super Bowls, so I'd rather have that. And then the conversation just kind of ended. I thought it was fascinating.

It's a great breakdown. It's like, would you rather have Phil Rivers or two Super Bowls? I loved it. Two Super Bowls, right? Yeah, I'd rather, I personally would rather have the two Super Bowls. I don it. Two Super Bowls, right? Yeah, I'd rather, I personally would rather have the two Super Bowls. I don't know.

I don't know. The Chair or Tom Cruise. They did this. Another poop bed game. Man, this might not be a poop bed game because of Danny Dimes, but I'm putting it in here anyway because it's a one and two team

against an 0-3 team. The Giants are home against the Redskins. I have the Giants by 2.5. I think we split this because I had 3.5, and it's right on 3 before having seen the Redskins play. No Saquon Barkley, no receivers anyone's ever heard of, and just Evan Ingram being triple teamed. And yet, I believe in Danny Dimes.

Alright, Sunday night. Sunday night. Saints at home against your Dallas Cowboys. I have Saints by one and a half. I do not believe in Teddy Bridgewater.

You know, you did a good job here of not, this might be the first week you didn't screw up one team being home, thinking that they were on the road. And then I looked at this line. I was like, what the, what did he do here? You have the Saints favored by one and a half. I had the Cowboys favored by three and a half. Cowboys are favored by three.

Wow. Yeah. I was off by by three. Wow. Yeah. I was off by four points. Four and a half points. You hated the Saints offense yesterday. They don't win probably if not for those defensive plays. Not that defensive plays and ball hawking doesn't count, but

yeah, they need to show more offensively. And you didn't count my Cowboys in your top defenses either, your top three. I don't agree with this line. I'm sorry. All right. I've seen the Saints come through a few times at home.

There's something a little magical with them. And I do think this is a possible kitchen sinker for them. We'll see. I'm surprised. Is there a kitchen sink? Is there a Freddy kitchen sink thing thing in there I'm trying to figure out some kind of nah pretty kitchens Monday night

I already like I beat you I whiffed you like a drum this week we're tied 2-2 for the year right yeah this will tie we'll give house a half8. We're tied 2-2 for the year, right? Yeah, this will tie. Well, we'll give House a half point. No, yeah, we're tied 2-2. All right.

Monday night, Pittsburgh at home against the, I don't know what to make of the Cincinnati Bengals Bengals. And I have Pittsburgh favored by 6.5. I had 5.5. It's 4. You win 10 to nine. This is another one. So both teams are 0-3.

Yeah. Right? Yep. Is that right? Yeah. So this is, I don't know, maybe they both left town. But for sure, the loser's out, right? The Steelers defense has had moments when they look good,

and then they'll just give up a dumb play. But the Mika Fitzpatrick trade, a lot of people wrote and covered this last week, that that guy is a blue chipper, and that trade actually makes a lot of sense in a vacuum. It might not make, it would have made a lot more sense. I heard Lombardi talking about this, and I thought the same thing when the trade happened.

I don't know why we do this in the NBA not the NFL why not do top 5 protected pick right so if the pick falls in top 5 you get my next year's number 1 not this one they just left it unprotected but he's really good unfortunately their defense

doesn't seem like it can put 4 straight consistent quarters together and the Bengals who were awful their defense doesn't seem like it can put four straight consistent quarters together. And the Bengals who were awful in week two were good in the Seattle game in week one. And then they kind of rallied and almost won that Buffalo game yesterday. I think these teams are pretty even.

I actually think the line should be Steelers three. It's funny. I took a lot of crap because we were like, what, what happened? Why did the Steelers trade for Fitzpatrick and everyone's like well it's better than any first round pick they'll get next year I was like I don't know about that like you could say top five then then it isn't but even if they're 10th let's say they're um let's say they're six and ten and right in that 10 11 spot you're in a spot to trade up for one of the top generational quarterback,

like Tua or maybe Herbert for Oregon or one of these guys. So I had pumped the brakes a little on that Fitzpatrick. They had to make the move. It was smart. And yeah, also Mason Rudolph. I don't know if he's your player of the future right now. Well, my read on it, which is why I picked him up in our fantasy league and why I put them in all the parlays was that trade told me that they really believe

in that guy. And that was why I wanted him on my team. I was like, they actually really must think this guy's good. And unfortunately, I watched him yesterday and he was pretty up and down. He was not as far along as maybe they thought. Or he just got super-duper nervous in the first half.

But if you think the guy's really good and you think you're not going to drop off a quarterback, then I understand the trade. But it was a drop-off. We'll just say that. I guess they take Big Ben's back for a few more years. He did have 5,200 yards passing last year, but it's going to be a tough off season.

Seven. All right. We're going to take one more break and then we're doing parent corner. Hey, let's talk about the holidays. It might seem crazy early. It's not that early. Mid September,

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Parent Corner is brought to you by CarMax, America's number one used car retailer. As parents, we've got enough to worry about without stressing over used car payments. Every CarMax car is covered by a seven-day money-back guarantee. How does it handle car seats, groceries, the dog, whatever? Take it to work, take it to school, take it to practice. Find out if it's the perfect car for you, and if it's not,

bring it back within seven days for a full refund, no questions asked. It's just that easy. That's why CarMax is so great. At CarMax, no regrets guaranteed. Check them out today at CarMax.com. All right, Parent Corner, which Parent Corner is going to get really exciting as you neglect your family shooting all these Thursday night bits over the next few weeks. I don't even know what to make of Parent Corner going forward. I might have to fly Harry out here and say, hey, you're the new dad of this family. Just give me one report per week so I could use it for Parent Corner. You could sleep in my bed with my wife, but you can't touch her.

That's right. But you can shirtless next to her. It would be great. She'll love it. But she can touch you. All right, Parent Corner quarter you go first uh well i feel bad because this is neither fun or funny but i'll tell you i'll say in advance it has uh a not so terrible ending but um my son is playing freshman football it took a lot of

convincing of my wife to get this going we i even had tony romo a few years back try to convince her and say, hey, come on, he can play contact, right? Contact football's fine. And he's like, eh, he doesn't have to start until ninth grade. So he didn't start until ninth grade, even though all his friends were playing in seventh grade.

Now he's on the freshman team. He loves it. The team's pretty good. They have a game, a Thursday afternoon game. One of his teammates catches a ball in the flat, turns around, and gets pummeled, helmet to helmet, by a kid who's probably a foot taller. And then he's on the field, this kid, my son's teammate, for the next 40 minutes. And his feet are flailing. Oh, no.

Like, holy crap. Is this involuntary? Or, like, at some point, the mother's pretty good with it. She's on the field. It took a long time. Finally, an ambulance came 40 minutes later. They take him to the hospital. He had, like, a neck injury.

He's fine. He has a neck brace. He texted a thumbs up to all his teammates. But I don't know what to say, except that, you know, when you watch your favorite team play and a player on your favorite team, that sucks. And you're like, oh, this is brutal, even on someone on your kid's team it's like times a thousand and then i cannot even imagine as a parent what this is like for 40 minutes not knowing what's going on like i said everything well ended up good but um i'm okay if he decides not to play and he seems okay that everyone on the team is okay with it but it's just so scary and also it's really bad for my brand i mean a lot of the parents are like oh oh, how's your brand? Is your brand okay?

You know, don't worry about my brand. There's a kid on the field. But no, I don't know. I just had a big wake-up call with that. And yeah, nothing to say more than that. Jesus. This is the most depressing parent corner of all time. I'm sorry.

I know. It was 40 minutes, but it's relative to what we say. Irrelevant. Well, I have, fortunately, I can i can i mean what kind of saw what's the worst soccer injury you you've wouldn't you've been to 100 games right yeah i mean we're we've had a couple concussions it's brutal where the kids just go down yeah it's tough youth sports they there's really no sport where there isn't a possibility of getting injured. I would say even basketball, you can take an elbow.

I guess volleyball maybe would be the safest. That's not bad. Yeah. But even then, you could take a spike in the head. Well, the other thing is I have to go to every game. I don't care where the road games are. I have to kind of make every one because now I have that on my every game. I don't care where the road games are. I have to kind of make every one because this is,

now I have that on my mind too, you know? Man. Sorry to bum you out, but this is reality being a parent. Thank God for Ben Simmons. Because just when you thought parent corner was going to get depressing, we have Ben Simmons. So I can get on his Instagram account and read his DMs and stuff because I pay for his phone and that's part of

the deal. What I didn't realize, I hadn't checked in a while, is he has this new habit now of DMing celebrities on Instagram and hoping they email him back. He emailed after we went to the IT2 screening,

he DMed Bill Hader and was like, what's up, dude? He sent him a photo and he was like, I was at the premiere for it. I don't know if he thinks Bill Hader is going to sift through his DMs and maybe hit him back, but it's been a lot of that. There might have been some woman that he's attracted to who's been like, hey, what's up? I think you're great. But my favorite, he texted this rapper named 916 Frosty, who's actually fantastic.

He hasn't blown up yet, but has a couple of really good songs. And my son and his rap. What does any of that mean, 9-16 Frosty? Do you know? 9-16 Frosty. Is that September 16th? No, I think it's his area code and he's white. So he's 9-16 Frosty.

My son was explaining it to me. But as you know, my son and his buddy Lucci, they have their rap band. We played that song at the start of the podcast today, Tic Tac and Melatonin. So he DMs 916 Frosty on July 23rd and says, dude, you're a god, but it's Y-O-U-R. Doesn't even have the, no response from 916 Frosty. Then on August 12th. We frosted him out. DMs him again and says, I'm Melatonin. I'm a rapper.

I work with Tic Tac. You a god. And then adds Tic Tac for reals, his rap partner. Adds him just in case maybe he knows Tic Tac for reals. His, his, his rap partner adds him just in case maybe he knows Tic Tac for reals. Yeah. That had to get his attention now. So four, nine, 16 Frosty's going through his DMS.

It gets, I'm melatonin. I'm a rapper. I work with Tic Tac. You guys, Oh, I didn't realize you work with Tic Tac. Uh,

then text him. You're my hero still no response eight days later you're the best why oh you are the best so uh so well to be fair i don't think 916 frosty is disregarding the the direct message because he got his your and yours wrong. I mean, he probably- You don't think it was- I think it's important. He also emailed an actress named McKenna. He just emailed a clapping emoji. He's just going through.

It's Nick Kroll he really likes. He told Nick Kroll, hey, Nick, big fan. No response from Nick. My son's celebrity Instagram DM game has been a little off so far. Will you explain

to him that you don't even look at your mentions on Twitter? Is he getting bummed out that there's no response? I don't know. I don't know what's going on with him. But he is playing on the 7th grade flag football team as a sixth grader. And he's a running back pass rusher and was all fired up because he had some sacks. And the only reason I'm telling you this is because he obviously doesn't watch football.

And I was like, you know, the best pass rusher was Lawrence Taylor. He's like, oh, I'll watch him on YouTube. There's a 15 minute Lawrence Taylor just being awesome YouTube clip. Yeah. There's never been anybody like him. No. This is like Jordan LeBron. I still feel Jordan.

I hate that argument, but it's like, all right, I'll, I'll listen to the LeBron amazing career stats thing. The Lawrence Taylor thing is unassailable. He was by far the best who ever did that. Phenomenal. The highlights are out of control. So we watched that and we really enjoyed it. Well, I think he disregarded plays, right?

Like he didn't really ever stay home, you know? He went for it and had a keen sense of the ball carrier or whether quarterback was going to end up. Yeah, my son plays outside linebacker, number 56 by accident. And then I had to explain to him the legend of Lawrence Taylor. By the way, they should do a documentary on Lawrence Taylor. I think they already did. That's an inside joke.

I'm melatonin. I work with Tic Tac. All right, that's it for Paracorder. Hey, remember, CarMax selects only the best to become CarMax certified with over 200 stores nationwide

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or 4,000 miles, whatever comes first. With the CarMax limited warranty, start the search for your next car at CarMax.com. All right, cuz, you're going to Lambo. Who's hosting Against All Odds? I'll be there. We're going to be doing Against All Odds a little early. We'll do it tomorrow. It'll be up tomorrow night.

And yeah, we'll pick the three big games of the week the general trifecta remains hot i will tell you uh one quick emmy story you'll be proud of me i didn't know i usually like go right home after the emmys but uh went to the governor's ball and then went to two parties afterwards the second party was at a house yeah i don't want to give out names of who was there, but it was an interesting thing because you've been to this house before, but it was almost completely dark. Some of the celebrities were there, requested that it be dark. And I was like, what? I'm falling over myself here. There's pizza. I don't know if I'm eating anchovies or what's on here. And then it occurred to me, oh yeah, fewer pictures that way. Fewer pictures, fewer videos. And I think it did the trick.

It really did. The only thing is, I don't know who, I could have been talking to Bob Newhart for an hour and I'm not sure who it was. I just, you know. Wait a second. So they requested it would be dark for no selfies, but everybody's just actually in the dark? How dark was it? It was candles and stuff. It's not no selfies, but everybody's just actually in the dark? How dark was it? And there's candles and stuff. It's not pitch black, but I think it was done to discourage photo ops. Oh, my God.

What are we turning into as a society? I don't know. What is happening? Why didn't you just leave the phone at the door and have a phone check thing? Yeah, that's probably the better way to do it, but no one wants to do that anymore. There's like one guy who did that. It's Melatonin and he worked with Tic Tac. Other than that, no. Do you think we should pass a law that

nobody can take a selfie after midnight just anywhere in the country? Maybe that would make things easier. There's a selfie curfew. All right, so against all odds you have this week and then the Thursday pregame show, and we should do a gambling line. Do you get legitimate laughter when they throw it back to the crew or the

fake, the producers telling them they have to do some laughs, but it wasn't really that they weren't really that into it. What would you, you have that minus 200 over real laughter. What would you, what would be the odds? It's interesting you say that.

And I probably shouldn't be talking about this, but they were, Jimmy was the first one. My cousin Jimmy did a sports comedy pregame thing back in early 2000s on Fox, on the Sunday pregame show. Yeah, late 1990s, early 2000s. And he would always take a shot at Howie or Terry, or one of the, it was usually one of those two guys.

And they were always listening, and there was always a reaction afterwards. The, the guys who follow Jimmy as, as good as they were Caliendo, Regal, they don't go after those guys. And for a lot of,

a lot of times those guys aren't watching. So that, you know what? So I've been encouraged to maybe go after them so that I do a full reactions. Okay. It feels kind of cheap because jimmy did it but there is some you don't like that dead silence after a uh after a punch line of a two minute bit

yeah all right so it sounds like even odds let me ask you this yeah i am uh the king again i'll lock it in i get a free future bet um any free future bet has to pay off before july i already have the patriots to win the super bowl i already have alabama to win the national championship do i go chiefs to win the super bowl to cover myself do i go rams to win the nfc what's what's the one future you would make or maybe some of those rookie of the year things we talked about. What's Colts to win the... Oh, come on. Colts to win the AFC South. Why are you laughing? It can't be more than plus one. I want like a

four or five to one thing there. How about the Colts are 25 to one to win the AFC? Alright, forget it. I already have your Patriots. That's the winner. Colts are plus 225 to win the AFC. Why don't you do that?

To win the South, you're saying? No, to win the AFC. I'm sorry, the Chiefs are plus 225. Oh, the Chiefs. Yeah, okay. Do I do that or the Super Bowl? What is going on with these odds? The Browns are 15-1 and the Bills are 25-1 and the Colts are 25-1. Who the fuck thinks the Browns can win the AFC?

Does anyone watch football? They have no chance. That's ludicrous. People are supposed to be betting the Browns like crazy. It's like blind allegiance. Ravens plus 750 is intriguing too. Because I think they're the clear third team. Chargers are 18-1.

Hmm. Yeah, I would say just do the Chiefs to win the AFC and then you get that free future. Then you hedge the pass. Alright, Cuz, good job by you. Good job by you, Bally. Thanks to the Cuz. Good luck on Thursday. Thanks to ZipCruiter. Don't forget to go to

zipcruiter.com slash BS. Don't forget about the rewatchables coming Wednesday, the Shawshank Redemption. Thanks to Square, the company that makes the little white credit card reader. Odds are, you didn't know Square also makes pretty much anything you need to run and grow a business. Point of sale, payroll, online stores, invoicing.

See how Square can take your business from Square One to whatever's next at square.com slash go slash BS. We're coming back tomorrow night with another podcast and then the rewatchable Shawshank on Wednesday. Until then. I don't have feelings within

On the wayside I'm a person never lost I don't have feelings within