The Bill Simmons Podcast - Desus and Mero on Yankees–Red Sox, Protesting the Knicks, and NBA Playoffs (Ep. 202)
Episode Date: April 20, 2017HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons brings on Viceland stars Desus and Mero to discuss NBA fashion (5:00), making waves on the internet (12:00), the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry (16:00), the plight of Knicks... fandom (24:00), Phil Jackson vs. Melo (30:00), Blake Griffin's Kia commercials (36:00), Jordan's gambling (42:00), 1990s NBA fights (47:00), LeBron's brand (53:00), La La and Melo's split (56:00), Chappelle's return (1:02:00), Denzel's one-name status (1:06), and Eddie Murphy's comedic reign (1:10:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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And now, our friends from Pearl Jam.
All right.
We're taping this Wednesday afternoon,
so we don't know if something crazy happened in the NBA playoffs.
Forgive us.
True.
If Westbrook just fought hard in there or something.
We all know.
I just saw the outfit he's wearing.
He came in tonight?
Yeah.
He might find something.
He's about to go off.
Furry streets of rage.
Where do you stand on the outfits?
Because when I did the ESPN show on NBA,
Desus and Mero, by the way.
When I did the ESPN show, and Desus and Mero by the way when I did when I did the ESPN show
and it was the ABC2
they always wanted to show
the athletes walking in
and they would be like
you and Jalen
you guys just
talk over the athletes
and say funny
get Jalen to say funny things
and I always felt
vaguely off to me
yeah
I didn't like it
you don't want to roast
the athletes
no it's just like
it just doesn't seem like
part of the no other sport does this it's just like It just doesn't seem like Part of the
No other sport does it
It's just like
Here's Miguel Cabrera
He's walking in the clubhouse
In a white leather suit
Basketball
Yeah
Because he's probably
Coming in with like
Linen pants like
Papi
Prenda la hookah
He got no underwear on
You can see his dick
I think the NBA
Made it a thing
When it was like
When they changed
The whole dress code
On the sidelines
Remember like
Allen Iverson
in the ill-fitting
5XL suit
and like
David Stern made it hot
David Stern made it hot
by being like
hey you guys can't dress
a certain way
it's the best thing
he ever did
he made it forbidden
when they were all wearing
the baggy stuff
and the hip hop shit
nobody really cared
there was no camera
in the tunnel
but now that
they changed the rules
it's a whole sub show of the NBA broadcast it's's like yo because like right now my timeline everyone's like
yo look at what russell westbrook is wearing like before that what would you be talking about right
now like yo russell westbrook is shooting the ball there is there's a whole new there's people
who follow basketball off of just like yo this is this person dresses this way or look what this
person wears you have blogs that don't even cover their sports blogs.
They don't cover any of the actual sports.
It's just like,
yo, here's today's look.
Look what Dwayne Wade had on.
I feel like it started
with the drafts
when the guys kept
fucking up the suits
for like 20 years.
And then it became
a thing on the internet.
And then they started
paying attention to the suits.
And all of a sudden
it wasn't fun anymore
because everyone's
just wearing a nice suit.
I think because no one
wants to get roasted
on social media.
Yeah, you can't come through.
I mean, see,
and it doesn't happen
in the NFL
because look at
Ezekiel Elliott.
He came through
with the wild crop top.
Peek-a-boo, little.
That's his thing.
Now that's branding.
That's like...
He's like...
Ending the Davis
in the...
I'm just...
You have to have something.
That's what he stands out for.
Everyone's self-aware now.
Yeah.
If someone else came in
with a crop top right now,
would you be like,
ah, crop top.
You'd be like,
you bit that. You'd be like, oh, crop tops be like right now jalen was both defensive of his 94 draft suit which was
an all-time classic but at the same time i think he still kind of likes it yeah he does still
apparently he's like half proud of it for the time yeah probably because he's thinking about
even though you look back now like oh this whack you have i'm sure he has fond memories for his
chopper suit he's like i got i got six bjs in that suit you crazy i'm out here at the same time you're wild
do you feel like athletes are too self-aware now i think so yeah like it's like fam like don't
worry about like this is the thing like it matters like they have to be self-aware you know what i
mean like because now like branding and whatever like before used to be like yo just ball you know i'm saying if you could ball you could be a wild asshole and
it's still cool like you still get endorsements you can still do whatever like charles brockley
was an ill dickhead and he got mad endorsements but you might get addicted to the attention i
remember back in the days remember like derrick jeter and he had no like no one knew anything
about derrick you knew he went to the club he had a lot of women and stuff but he would never say
anything really in interviews he'd give like these very short one-liners and stuff.
You'd have to imagine what was going on behind closed doors with Derek Jeter.
That's why when you heard the basket stories, you were like, possibly.
But now you have Odell Beckham and LeBron.
You have their whole day through Snapchat.
You know way too much about them.
I don't know if I like that.
I don't like that either.
Personally, I like to pull back, but I think the younger kids, they grew up on social media.
They feel that you've always had – they feel entitled to this access.
They feel like athletes owe it to them to be like,
yo, tell me what you're doing all the time.
When you find out an athlete doesn't have social media,
you're like, whoa, what's going on there?
What was he up to?
I like when they shut it down for the playoffs as a sign that they're serious now.
Yeah, I'm locking in, man.
I'm going to my social media.
I'm going to my other account.
Every time LeBron tweets,
it drains some of his body force.
Now he wouldn't be able to pull off the block.
He's like, 140 characters just took it from me.
Damn.
Somebody subbed me.
I can't make the tweet grow.
It's so dramatic.
It's like, yo, I'm shutting down my Twitter account.
It's not like I'm changing into a paleo diet.
It's like, yo, I'm just not going to press the bird icon on my phone.
Wow.
That's kind of wild.
Joe DiMaggio looking down like, look at these punks.
But it's funny because you know they're still on Twitter, bro.
They're just on their little little burger account.
They're on their private account.
LeBron has another Snapchat.
That's heading him to their sex.
That's like LeBron spelled backwards, and he's just checking out everything.
Like, yeah.
LeBron lames.
The first year I worked with Jalen He pointed out the whole
Like all this little subculture
With social media
With athletes
Where they
Like they'd land in Dallas
And some would be like
What's up tonight Dallas?
Like that would just be the tweet
And he's like
They're doing that
Because then they want people
To start DMing them
Oh you're in Dallas?
Yo yo
Come to the strip club
Yeah come to the strip club
When we touched down
We said those
We understand the game now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What up?
Oh, come out to, oh, you're in town, Wink Wink.
You're like, all right.
Come to this.
What's up today, Houston?
Or even better, like, yo, if they have a verified account, and then you get into a conversation
with another verified account on Twitter, that's like, yo, you got favorite friends.
Like, yo, we're like, yo, we're in LA.
And then like, YG be like, yo, pull up, little homie.
And he's like, I don't know YG, but you you know it looks good for the timeline so as well it's all smoking
mirrors man yeah i think it's gotta be so much easier i just come to la like yo i'm in la light
it what's up you know what i'm saying holla at me that's not as impressive but yeah that's
like yo i got the yeah you do that and like we like, yo, I got the y'all deck. You do that, and like,
we're on Skid Row
sharing a blunt
with five other kids.
Is that what you want to do?
I want to connect
with the people, Bill.
Well, what's changed
for you guys in the last year?
Because you're more successful
than you were a year ago.
I bought a house.
You bought a house?
Yeah, my kids got a yard now.
I got a lot more sneakers.
Amazing.
A lot more sneakers.
A lot more sneakers.
Oh, God.
I got easily over 200 pairs
of sneakers right now.
I'm a sneaker head.
Like, I'm trying to catch up because I didn't have sneakers before I was on TV.
And that's my one vice now.
I don't have kids or a house or anything like that.
But I'm trying to move out here to L.A. though.
Four kids?
Yeah, I got a six-year-old, a three-year-old, actually about to be four-year-old, about to be a two-year-old, and a couple of weeks old.
Still smells fresh out the box.
You know what i'm saying
and my daughter too so like i have three boys and i got a daughter like now i'm good
i'm super chilling cross them off it is it's he i was i had the daughter first and the son
i was totally ready i was like two girls would have been great out of it but it is fun to have
one of both because it's a completely different experience totally it's like playing it's like
playing a war video game versus a sports video game.
I have an excuse to not change diapers.
I'm like, I don't even know how to do this.
What do you mean by front to back?
What's the front and what's the back?
I don't know how to do this.
Dude, you got to take over here.
I can't do it.
I would have bragged about that.
So once you go past two kids, you might as well just have nine.
Because at that point, you're just flailing anyway.
Well, that's the thing.
People that have one kid or people that have no kids, I'm like, oh my so stressed out i'm like fuck out of here and people have one kid i'm like yo one kid is just having like a
friend yeah that's a mess you know what i mean like you have a friend that's just like a drunk
or something and that you always got to be on top of them to be like yo make sure you're here did
you eat something like are you okay do you got to go to the bathroom like that kind of like terrible
friend is like having a small child yeah you know i'm saying but that's still easy because it's two of
you against one you know i'm saying but then when you have two kids it's still not that hard because
it's one-on-one three or more is when you get into the hardship because it's like bro like now it's
like one of them could slip slip away you know what i mean and break down your field for like a
40 yard catch well three you're just yeah you need help you need need help from from the parent guys. So that's why I'm trying
to get rich to get like
nannies and stuff.
But I'm Dominican
so I got aunts all over the place
and they're always coming through
and like my mother-in-law
is like five minutes away
so I'm chilling.
So who do you have to
catch up to on sneakers?
No one.
I don't have to catch up
to anybody on sneakers.
There's always somebody
else who wears sneakers.
No there's some people
out there.
No because that's the thing
I'm not
my collection is not necessarily
like I'm not trying
Competitive?
I don't have a competitive collection.
I actually wear all my sneakers.
Like if I buy a pair,
I'm wearing them usually for the next week.
You know, they have some good LA places.
I mean, LA,
that's one of the secret LA places.
I've been to the sneakers store.
Shout out to KISS,
shout out to Flight Club.
Tommy knows where those places are.
Yeah, I mean, listen,
I just love the feeling of,
because you know,
I order the sneakers
and you don't know when they show up
and like I'll come home
from like recording the show
and there'll just be a box
in my living room
or like in my front door
and like that feeling
of opening them
and it's like
yo these are my sneakers
I can afford them
and I'm not going
into debt buying them
like that's my
that's the one thing
I got going on
is my sneakers
now that I've been
to LA
and I've been eating
avocado toast
and taking brunches
and now
listen it's changed
now like people
like Pharrell and them
was like
we gotta come out here now I'm serious like I always thought you know i'd just be in new york but
i might be coming i might be out in the lane with y'all out here you know be bi-coastal on the go on
the plane with no socks on my eezy's be bad and obnoxious we're not in dayo he just likes to
chill in his house like that's what he loves i want to have a nice a house that's big enough and
has everything that i want there so that i just want to have a nice house that's big enough and has everything
that i want there so that i could just got to leave to do other bullshit he's gonna be like
the will bond steven a where every time you do the show it's a split screen
i want to do the derrick jeter trump tower apartment and i just use it to charge my phone
and smash chicks and i'm never there that's it everyone's like why do you have a 4.5 million dollar account I'm like don't worry about it
I don't like
don't go above
59 cent
stop judging me
stop judging me
so how'd you guys meet
I don't know the story
I deliberately didn't do
research for this
that's good
that's how we do our show
isn't it better
it's like a surprise
you're like wow
you have to follow
some list of questions
Wikipedia and shit
well it's like
you know how
like we
in some school
in the Bronx
is set up in a way
where
it's a magnet program you don't necessarily go to the Bronx Is set up in a way where It's a magnet program
You don't necessarily
Go to the school
That you attend
You go to a school
A central area
School where
All the kids in the area
Go to that one school
For summer school
He went to that school
I didn't go to that school
But I went there
For summer school
So we knew of each other
In that
In that area
You know what I mean
But he has his crowd
I have my crowd
Whatever
But we didn't really hang
It was just like
I knew of him
Like you know That whatever You know what I'm saying That type of shit Fast forward to the internet You know what I mean but he has his crowd i have my crowd whatever but we didn't really hang it was just like i knew of him like you know that whatever that type of shit fast forward to twitter
you know what i mean and we are interacting a lot on twitter because we're we've so what year is
this like oh seven oh eight oh nine like oh nine oh ten because we both have really shitty jobs but
we actually jobs the same time as twitter has just come about so that was back when twitter
was more of a diary than like interacting with. So we were just live tweeting our days.
And every now and then we'd tweet about the same thing.
That's something that happened very Bronx specific.
And we didn't have that many followers, but we knew our followers and stuff.
And they were just like, yo, you guys have something there.
Because we can go back and forth for a bunch of tweets like we do in real life.
But this is on the internet.
It's not in real.
The thing that's crazy about you guys is you guys seem like you've been together for 25 years right it kind of understand that part
it's the similar upbringings and then the and then basically like the digital reps of of twitter
you know what i mean because then when we jumped into the podcast the initial podcast it was just
kind of like at first it was a little shaky whatever but then it's like immediately it was
like all right this, this is something.
We just didn't know to the heights that it would go.
The familiarity is such an advantage.
I've had that with a couple different people
where when you know the little touch points,
you just set them up,
you just throw in an alley-oop and they go.
That's when you get to the next level.
Because you could definitely tell it's authentic.
It's not like some studio wing thing
where it's like, yo, you two have a show together.
Then it would have worked. Then it would have worked.
Then it would have worked.
The danger is you don't want it to become karaoke,
which isn't a problem for you guys,
where it's like, oh, A5, do your rant on this.
Right, exactly.
Here's another of that.
We don't write anything,
and it's just like, you know,
this is all off the dome.
So it's very organic.
And if you follow what's going on,
you can see the jokes developing.
Like, if you've been following us this week,
we have a lot more L.A LA jokes than we did last week.
We didn't experience shit.
Now we can name places.
We can make jokes about the 405 and Lake Cucamonga or whatever.
You know?
And Erewhon.
Erewhon.
Erewhon, yeah.
Donuts sold Erewhon.
Is that just Whole Foods?
That's like Whole Foods for people that scoff at Whole Foods.
I bought coconut cream,
coconut oil cream for my beard there for $18.
Got no receipt, no bag.
Every person that has ever taken me there
has worn Clark's Desert Boots with no socks.
That's the person that's taken you there
with like a weird hat.
From a scenery standpoint,
there's never been a better looking collection
of grocery shoppers than Erewhon.
It's beautiful.
My little horny nine-year-old son,
we went there two months ago, he's like, Dad, are these actresses? Who are these people? It is amazing. It's beautiful. My little horny nine-year-old son. They all look like Farrell's personal sister.
Dad, are these actresses?
Who are these people?
It is amazing.
It feels very Truman Show.
They're nice, healthy food.
It feels Truman Show.
Every time you change an aisle, all the extras scatter away, and they just put new ones in
there.
I'm like, everyone in LA can't be this hot.
Look at the homeless people who are hot out here.
It's very disturbing.
That's wild.
I saw a homeless.
They have Yeezys on.
I'm like, yo,
am I...
What's going on here?
I'm walking through Erwan
like, yo,
I was like,
I know there's only
four members of Haim
and I've counted 12 already
in just this one aisle.
You know what I'm saying?
Isn't it three?
Isn't it three?
There's three.
There's Daniel and others.
It's three.
Shout out to Haim.
Shout out to Squash.
Shout out to Daniel, yo.
But you guys can see
what it's like
like the benefits
of being out here right
the weather's nice
sports comes on earlier
that's not a benefit
that's the thing
no
you go to like
I'm the night time guy
I like to
even with four kids
yeah
we're so off with the playoffs
cause we
like living in New York
you know like
everything starts at 7
maybe 8 o'clock
I'm totally lost
with the playoffs
because my ritual is my kids go to bed at 7 o'clock.
You know what I'm saying?
So then it's your time after that.
You know what I'm saying?
So then me and my wife hang out for a little bit, whatever.
And then it's just like everybody evacuates the area.
We go on lockdown.
I roll several L's.
You know what I mean?
And then it's NBA TV time.
You know what I'm saying?
And then I'm tweeting also at the same time.
7 o'clock, you're going to the bar.
Your whole night is built around a basketball game or a baseball game.
Nothing better than like a Friday night Yankee Red Sox game in New York.
Well, you should be good.
And you go there.
I put the Red Sox hats out for you.
I want to fight your Yankee power.
It doesn't hurt anymore.
It doesn't hurt me after 04.
The Yankees are young and we're coming up.
You know, the feud kind of.
And we look sick.
The feud's just not the same anymore
I actually missed the feud
I do too
from 97 to 04
when they got Ellsbury
I was like
this is stupid
when we won
it kind of killed it
I used to be the
extra asshole
Yankee fan
but I also
would fight anyone
who was like
there was a better rivalry
in sports
than Red Sox Yankee
I was like
no way when it was at its peak as a yankee fan and as a dominican there was nothing that created
some more inner turmoil for me than when pedro threw don zimmer on the mound because i was like
yo don zimmer looks like the most old racist white guy on the planet just like just optically yeah
i'm not speaking on his character the first ku klux klan in 1916 the most racist guy on the planet just optically I'm not speaking on his character he ran the first Ku Klux Klan
in 1916
he looks like the most
racist guy in the world
and then he came
charging at Pedro
and Pedro just threw him
like an infant
like yo just get out of here
that was like very
that was touching
but then I was like
I was mad
yeah he did
I was mad
because it was like
you know Yankees
but at the same time
I was like
go ahead Pedro
what I respected about
the rivalry was
also my last name is Martinez
and I hold on to this
each team carried themselves like you knew there was a respect to the rivalry like if you, my last name is Martinez, and I moved on to the... Each team carried themselves.
Like, you knew there was a respect to the rivalry.
Like, if you went up to Fenway, like, everyone hated you.
But it wasn't, like...
It wasn't O.D., like, stupid.
Like, there was a passion for it.
It depends on who you're talking to, pal.
No, there was a passion.
There was a reason behind it.
I used to go to peanut shops at Red Sox fans.
It was just, like, remember up until 04?
Yeah, I think.
Remember we had, like, what was it?
1849 or 18...
What was it?
We used to chant that.
1908.
1908, yeah.
I mean, it might as well... No, it was 1918. It49 or 18, what was it, we used to chant that. 1908. 1908, yeah. I mean, it might as well.
No, it was 1918.
It might as well have been 1849, though.
And we were like, yo, y'all never gonna win.
Y'all are never gonna win.
And then 04 happened, and then they won again.
And when was the last time the Yankees won?
09?
And now nobody cares.
Nobody cares.
Well, the thing that killed us was 03.
Oh, that was Aaron Boone.
Get Grady Little, let Pedro win too long.
Tie game, then Aaron Boone.
I mean, that was when it was like, wow, I don't know if I want to follow baseball anymore.
I went to dark places.
Y'all came back in 04.
That was, that was, that was, you caught us on the rack.
I was actually involved with a girl who was from Dorchester.
We were dating and she lived in Staten Island.
And during that World Series, I was
mad smug. I was going to her crib and she
was making food and I'm over there smashing and
laying around burping.
Looks like the Red Sox are going to lose
again. Then every game
it's like,
y'all got one. It's fine.
Then the ball slap.
You know what I'm saying?
I was just like, oh no.
I felt weird. i felt weird he never said that weird no i wasn't even mad at that i was okay with that because i was like yo i was so
to me in my head i was like whatever by any means yeah yeah yeah because in my head i'm like that's
him thinking like yo fuck this like we're winning this game like i don't give a shit like we're not
losing to red so no i kind of felt like at that moment it was like yo we're not losing to Red Sox. No, I kind of felt like, yo, at that moment, it was like, yo, we're done. There was a lot of moments over those four games.
No, I mean, that's what A-Rod's thinking was, I don't care, I'm getting on base.
Like, whatever I got to do.
I got you.
You know what I'm saying?
No, I still felt like, damn, this is, like, we have to cheat to get on base at this point.
Like, we're just done.
Because I was watching it in a bar, and, like, in my mind, I was starting to realize what's going on.
And I was like, yo, should I even show up for game seven?
And then this kid that had been sitting there for the whole series,
he was like,
don't puss out
and don't show up
for game seven.
I was like,
I'm gonna be here.
Watch my yanks
and I'm gonna come back.
Third inning,
game seven,
he was like,
you can leave now.
I was like,
fuck you.
I respect it.
Shout out to that kid.
I went to four and five.
I could have gone to six and seven.
I didn't want to go
because I didn't want to be there
if they lost.
It wasn't even a nerve thing.
It was like,
I just couldn't imagine
anything worse than being there if it flipped flipped again you know it's and i
had from a personal standpoint just so many bad memories in yankee stadium yeah that i just didn't
like going there you know that was kind of glad they knocked it down the old one i know they still
call yankee state it's not yankee state it's not the same place it's like the other place had ghosts
and spirits and demons.
I would lie.
When I go to Fenway now, the feeling, I've never, because Fenway is Fenway.
Fenway's always been Fenway.
Right.
As a Boston guy, do you think they'll ever tear it down, will do whatever?
Or do you think they'll just remodel it?
The way it's located.
First of all, it's a cash cow.
And people come to see it almost like you would go to see the Grand Canyon or something.
Even when the team sucks,
people come in there.
But once they fix the seats,
the problem is they build all these seats
in 1920.
They fucking face center field.
The picture's over there
and you're facing
the center field wall.
They gotta fix some of the seats,
but they've fixed a lot of it.
They've changed it up.
They can cram like 38,000 people
in there, it's fine. You can also get glass out of it. Don't you wish up. They can cram like 38,000 people in there. It's fine.
You can also get
a lot of shout out.
Don't you wish they didn't
tear down Yankee Stadium?
No, I bet you don't.
I kind of,
yeah, that's true.
They should have just fixed
and lived where it was.
A thousand percent.
The new Yankee Stadium
feels like a boring,
dying Florida mall.
Yeah.
It's just,
and they try to upsell you
at every angle.
You got the Jimmy Bean batter's eye.
Like, what the,
I have to have three seconds
to get to that?
That's lame.
It's not,
the old Yankee Stadium, as a kid, because I was born across me from yankee stadium one of the biggest
highlights of the old yankee stadium was remember the ramps and you just had to go higher and higher
and higher and then when you finally got to your seat that was the first time you saw outside and
it's like the field the greenness of the field just exploded and you were like whoa the baseball
diamond it was like a whole ritual well what about the top deck where it was like you straight steve you had enough beers you felt like you just tumble over to your dad
i would turn down those tickets because i'd be like yo dog i'm gonna get like vertigo no that
was the beauty of it yeah that was the beauty i sat up there once wearing a bruins jersey
celtic shorts and a red sox wow i went up there kill that i was so proud of myself i forgot what
year was fan who had i'm not surprised he had he had on a leather jacket and had like the world a Red Sox hat. Wow. I did not get killed. I was so proud of myself. I forgot what year it was.
I'm not surprised.
He had on a leather jacket and it had like
the World Series patches on it,
but it was like a couple,
but it was like after 04,
so it was still in my feeling.
Violence was much more
acceptable back then.
You could go band-aids,
you could do gays,
you could do shit.
Now Bob Lee comes in
on the outside
and he's white horse.
Do you know about the texting?
You can text.
You can secretly text security at
yankee stadium now and have people ejected oh blow the whistle yeah and you'll like they'll text if
you stand up while like the bases are loaded and there's two uh what two strikes the two uh three
balls one two strikes oh yeah yeah they don't they'll be like sit down you can't do that it's
the new stadium is so whack they used to be able back in the day they used to be able after the
sixth inning a lot of games you could get in for free.
You know what I'm saying?
I always thought, like, if you did this correctly, you'd have sections where basically anything
goes.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's how.
You'd be like, oh, it's section 15.
Good, good.
I had to be ready.
Not anymore.
And then there'd be family sections and all that.
But it's so fucking boring to go to baseball games now.
I mean.
It's boring and expensive.
It's boring, it's expensive, and it's time consuming.
And you look at it,
it's like this six-hour commitment now.
You gotta go to the park.
They gotta make it easier
and they gotta make baseball cooler.
You gotta stay in the box.
You know what I'm saying?
Every time I go, I look around
and two-thirds of the people
are looking at their phones.
Yeah.
And they're all just like...
Not paying attention.
Yeah.
I'm surprised
more people don't get hit by a foul ball you can't even bring up even looking for liability
reason you can't bring an ipad into yankee stadium for that's probably a good idea that's a good
reason but i mean people still have their phone and they have a wi-fi network so let's take a
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Back to the Bodega Boys.
I'm glad you guys agree with me, though, because I felt like 9704 was unlike anything we're going to see again.
Oh, yes.
It was amazing
I remember watching
the World Series in 96
and that's really
what solidified me
like as like
a Yankees fan for real
because like I was
always a Yankees fan
but it was like
more casual
but then like
96 watching Derek Jeter
and Charlie Hayes
catching that pop up
like and those guys
Mariana Duncan
all those guys
like I was like
yo these are my guys
and watching them
you know what I mean?
It was like a different feel.
And I'm starting to feel that now, though, with these younger dudes.
And they're doing the right thing.
They should not try to trade any of these dudes.
Yeah, I know.
But you didn't like Manny, though?
I like Manny Ramirez.
But you said you love Pedro, but Manny was Dominican.
That's the thing.
The Dominicans always felt like Manny was their kind of black sheep.
You know why? Because this is a very this thing. The Dominicans always felt like Manny was their kind of black sheep. You know why?
Because this is a very important thing.
Dominicans from DR and Dominicans in New York,
Dominicans in DR are called us, Dominican Yorks,
like Dominicans who are from New York.
So Manny is 100% one of those guys.
Like hot dogger, you know what I mean?
Like, yo, check out my swag.
I got this.
Y'all ain't touching me.
Like the confidence, the swag levels are, like, astronomical.
And, like, Dominicans from DR are, like, a little more humble.
You know what I mean?
A little.
A little.
Just, like, 0.2%.
Just a little.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you've seen us in the World Baseball Classic.
We're not humble.
Yeah, yeah.
You didn't win that, though.
You know what I'm saying?
Don't make me get my mic, Francesco, on about why the World Baseball Classic is not necessary.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's back in Jamaica. You know what I mean? The World Baseball Classic is not necessary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's back in Jamaica.
You know what I mean?
The guy runs fast. Jamaica's going to have Mark Marwards.
I have to find a social cause.
I'm going to have to get a Jamaican team together.
I've got four years.
Susan Sarandon's going to help me.
You guys win every sprint event.
You have all the sprinting gold medals.
You're good.
Imagine how fast we could run the first.
How many inside the park home runs are you going to see?
That's going to be our thing.
Usain Bolt's going to run down the first field line and just run straight through the wall.
You ever see the shortstop catch the ball at the outfield wall?
Oh.
It's going to be lit.
Why do you think Jamaica dominated sprinting?
What's your theory?
I've heard all kinds of theories.
We have a lot of wild dogs, so people are always running away from them.
It could be that.
Also, we have very bad roads so it could
it's probably safer to run than it is to drive have you had gladwell on your show malcolm gladwell
no not yet but he knows of our show so this would be you should have him on and you should talk
about this because he has cool super smart malcolm gladwell there is about this but one of them is
like smart or is he like annoyingly smart no no he's smart he's cool he's yeah he's not like
clay thompson he's gonna keep correcting me about shit like? No, no, he's smart. He's cool smart? Yeah. He's not like Klay Thompson.
He's going to keep correcting me about shit like that.
No.
Klay Thompson corrected you?
He's an actually guy.
He's an actually guy.
Klay Thompson is an actually guy. Klay Thompson is actually.
He's very actually.
Because I remember after the playoffs and they had the, was it the Hollywood party?
The Hollywood party.
LeBron put the RIP 3-1 stuff.
Yeah.
And he was like, rest in peace Klay Thompson.
Klay Thompson was like, actually, I didn't die at all. So these cookies it was like, rest in peace, Clay Thompson. Clay Thompson was like,
actually, I didn't die at all,
so these cookies aren't valid.
Like, I don't understand.
If I was dead,
I wouldn't actually be able
to see them,
so pop the jokes on you.
Like, we didn't die.
We're still here.
We're still here.
We're here to play
another game.
Actually, that's a lie.
LeBron, your cookies
are fake news.
Yeah.
Get out of here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Are you pro or anti-warriors?
I'm like,
I'm kind of anti-warriors
I'm still a Knicks fan
that's why the playoffs
I watch the playoffs but I'm not invested in it
I had lots of Knicks questions for you guys
why they're bad, what's the problem
get us banned from the MasterCard Garden for life
I like the playoffs
Dolan's like
his little robot thing activated
you guys are talking about
let me get rid of this guy and asshole I love basketball It's going to happen. Dolan's like, wait, his little robot thing activated. Oh, guys are talking about the G.W.B.
Let me get rid of this guy, an asshole.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I love basketball.
Like, basketball is like, I'm debating baseball is in my blood.
I love baseball.
But basketball is my favorite sport to watch, period.
It's the new American pastime.
It is.
It's the most fun sport to watch.
It's the fastest pace.
There's a lot of scoring.
There's a lot of like, you know what I mean, moments in a basketball game.
Even in like a regular, boring-ass regular season game. You regular season game you know and it's the most interesting people yeah exactly
like 20 out of the 25 most interesting athletes i would say probably 21 in america most of the
players like there's something interesting to them it's not like baseball you're just like
64 players you don't know who the hell these people are they're like gang members in the
warriors how the warriors each gang and then there's like the roller skating gang but that's like the basketball like Westbrook's his little Westbrook gang this little mustache
brothers behind us yeah Harden's got his weird beard three-point gang it's dope that's why the
playoffs to me in the NBA like even if the regular season is like ho-hum like and you know what the
outcome is going to be coming into the playoffs like the playoffs are still dope because like
anything is possible yeah like really
like you know
like the Celtics
about to get swept
by Rijon Ronda
who died three years ago
exactly
and Brooke Lopez's
black sheep brother
Rondo's revenge
and Dwayne Wade
who's dead
yeah
and he's on the way
of dunking on people's shit
and Jimmy Butler
who's gonna get traded
allegedly two months ago
now he's killing it
see cause it has
all these subplots
and Zipsik
the German guy
where'd he come from
Bobby Portis
he sucked for two years
and that's what happens
look Bill
you know this
every year in the playoffs
somebody performs
so well
that they get
a stupid contract
the next year
like the Delva Dover effect
you know what I mean
like that type of shit
I'm so surprised
we did not drive
the truck up to his house
after last season
that's definitely that's definitely a Nick move I feel like I'm so surprised we did not drive the truck up to his house after last season.
That's definitely a Nick move.
I feel like Phil Jackson likes scrappy guys with high motors.
You know who Phil Jackson doesn't like?
Mellow.
Mellow.
Stops the ball.
He stops his prehistoric triangle offense.
Yo, it's so crazy.
We believe in this triangle so much.
We need to shoot some long twos. Did he really say that Chris Stapp shooting threes is cheap scoring? Yes, he did. Yeah, it's so crazy. We believe in this triangle so much. We need to shoot some long twos.
Did he really say that Chris Stapps shooting threes is cheap scoring?
Yes, he did.
Yeah, he did.
That's not so crazy.
Bro, why would you say that?
That's when you're drunk at the bar and someone next to you is just walling.
They say stuff like that.
You just move your beer.
Like, this is the guy.
This is Phil Jackson.
This is why Phil Jackson has security in Madison Square Garden. You can't take a photo with him or you'll be banned for life.
Is that true? Don't you get banned for life, though. I can't take a photo with him or you'll be banned for life. Is that true?
Don't you get banned for life, though.
You know Swapu?
I'm not.
All I got is a Knicks.
You're just reporting.
If they banned me for life, it would be like, I'll be the new Phil Rizzuto to the Yankee Stadium.
It would be a whole movement.
Holy cow.
Some of y'all are too young to get that reference.
Go on Wikipedia.
It's worth it.
I'm also opening up the money store.
Right.
But you're a Celtics fan.
You grew up a Celtics fan. So you know a lot about the Lakers because you study the team
that you hate the most.
Yes.
You know what I'm saying?
Still hate the Lakers with every fiber in my body.
Did you think that Phil was going to come from the Lakers to the Knicks and make any
type of impact when it first happened?
Not only did I not think it, I went on TV because I was on the ABC ESPN show that year,
and I was the only one who's like, are we sure?
Like he's 69.
He's going to be traveling back and forth.
He's going to be going to Bulgaria to scout some second round pick.
And he's going to study the Catholic.
Why would he give a shit?
He's made $150 million.
We thought he was the Messiah.
You wanted the savior and he's a connection to Bradley and to Buscher.
And oh, he's going to come. And it's like like red holtzman has appointed this guy and it's like it
was all bullshit he just took a paycheck i never trust anybody who's like i'm not gonna do it i'm
not gonna do it i'm not oh 60 million for five years all right i'm gonna do it i'll do it like
that was your red flag also i'm like why is he also is he scared because i'm like yo if you're
talking like my whole thing with him was like, bro, if
you're going to put these coaches in place and like puppeteer them and tell them what
to do, whatever.
Why not just come down and coach?
Right.
Why not?
You're Phil Jackson.
You're in New York City.
You can do whatever the fuck you want.
You can make up some new rule where you just coach the home games.
Do you want to tarnish your legacy as Phil Jackson?
Yeah, you don't mind it.
Coaching the Knicks?
That's what I'm saying.
So then that to me says like, yo, Phil, you don't believe in your ability as a coach.
Well, that's why he has Kurt Ramis as Phil Jackson robot. Yeah. You know what I mean. Coaching the Knicks. That's what I'm saying. So then that to me says, like, yo, Phil, you don't believe in your ability as a coach.
Well, that's why he has Kurt Rambis as Phil Jackson Robot.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
He comes in and puts Rambis in there, and Rambis tells him what's going on.
Kurt Rambis is just, man. He's got no swag.
Like, Kurt Rambis is literally the coach when you play NBA 2K17, and it's just animated.
It's just like, oh.
He's just a CGI guy.
Pick and roll.
Pick and roll.
How many times, like, you have Knick fans at Knick games, just like they cannot remember the coach's name? Listen, man. He's just that? It's just like, oh. He's a big CGI guy. Pick and roll. Pick and roll. How many times do you have Nick fans at Nick games
that just cannot remember the coach's name?
He's just that forgettable, man.
Hold on a sec.
Well, I'm worried for you guys
unless they trade him for the Celtics.
Unless they what?
Unless they trade him for the Celtics,
then I would be happy.
But the worst outcome here is if they trade Chris Stapps.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Because, well, he doesn't want to be here and he did to try
and then it's like you just made this huge mistake
and then Phil Jackson's gone in two years
and you have Chris Dapps who's
the greatest possible stretch five
you could ever have. 7'3 guy
who protects the rim shoots threes.
So you're saying that's the worst possible thing or is that basically
what the Knicks are going to do? I would say that's the
worst case scenario. The Knicks fans
should I feel like be more active. Doing what? We can't do do. I would say that's the worst case scenario. The Knicks fans should, I feel like, be more active.
Doing what?
We can't do anything.
Look, this is the thing.
I'm talking signs outside the stadium.
That's the funny thing.
Go look at the whole cover.
I want all that shit.
You guys should be the leaders.
No, no, no.
Listen.
You guys should be the Silkwood slash Norma Rae.
That's the thing.
Great reference.
I remember as a kid watching that movie and them dragging her into the decontamination
showers.
I was like, what the fuck is this? You're going to the decontamination showers. And I was like, what the fuck is this?
You're going to the decontamination shower?
That's the thing, though, man.
I shot the Jerry Ferraro.
We talked about this on fucking Twitter the other day.
It's like, he's like, yo, what do I do?
I feel helpless.
As a Knicks fan, this is nuts.
This guy's a unicorn.
We could organize a protest.
We could get people out on the street.
Blah, blah, blah.
It don't matter.
All James Nolan has to do is have one press conference and be like, if jesus and miro feel so strongly why don't they buy their
own team yeah that's it done and done and then you're banned yeah you can't come to next year
maybe the band maybe the pacers he would ban us from even getting access to msg channel what
should the knicks do except no i have an idea but we have to do it together when when we're
how old are you?
32
Oh yeah
So I'm a generation older
But remember those old videos
That they used to make in the 80s
Like the musicians would get together
Like We Are The World
Yeah
And then there were all the terrible
We Are The World fans
You gotta get all the Knicks fans together
And we gotta write a song
About protecting the Knicks fans
From trading Porzingis or something
And just all these people
and you guys are all rocking.
We would definitely do it.
That's right.
And then James Dolan
will come out with
Mo Dean is over there.
And the next day
we get the PR notice
from Knicks organization
with a cease and desist
and a $25 million lawsuit
for using the term Knicks
which is a registered
service mark of
cable business.
And that's the
beginning part
because James Dolan
then goes into his studio
puts the Tupac
hit him up
With a harmonica
And just flames us
With a kazoo solo
In the middle
That's why I fucked up
Your playoff chant
Yeah like
He's just playing a kazoo
He's just Dolan
Yeah
It'll be terrible
Is him in the Eagles
In the middle
With kazoos
Can I tell you that
That's when I knew
The Knicks would never prosper
Under his regime
When he started opening up
For the Eagles
Exactly
I took my wife to see the Eagles.
I don't know anything about the Eagles.
I'm a 30-something Dominican male.
You know what I'm saying?
I was going to say, you're probably not the demo.
Yeah.
The demo is like a Viagra commercial.
Yeah, yeah.
All I do is listen to French Montana mixtapes.
But my lovely wife, who is a Jewish woman from New Jersey, is a fan of the Eagles.
Yo, I did not know I knew all the Eagles songs.
The Eagles have good songs.
They got mad songs.
I wrote a whole column about the Eagles once
when they had that great documentary that came out about
they got so many songs I had no idea
like because there's the vocal I don't know if they changed
their vocalist like every 10 years or something but the guy sounds
there's so many different songs you know who doesn't have a lot of songs
James Dolan yeah exactly and he was
opening for the fucking Eagles
straight shot so look this is the thing
I knew the Knicks wouldn't prosper under him when
I took her to go see the Eagles at the
Garden, and he opened for them, of course.
He's terrible.
And then when he finished his set, he was like, I want to just thank the Eagles for
fulfilling my dream of this goofy dream of mine of opening for them here at Madison Square
Garden.
And I want to thank all you guys for helping me break a world record tonight.
This motherfucker had everybody in the audience have a plastic kazoo.
And then he brought out Carmelo Anthony, Amari Stoudemire, Hendrick Lundquist, fucking Mark Messier, Red Holtzman, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, my grandma.
You know what I'm saying?
And had them all play a kazoo.
And I was like, bro.
To break the world record?
Yeah, to break the world record.
And I was like, yo.
Can I just throw this out here? this is why we will never prosper.
James Dolan, if us as Knicks fans make your album go platinum, will you sell the Knicks?
Oh, my God.
We will make every album you drop for the rest of your life go platinum.
You have our word as Knicks fans.
You know how the Eagles thing happened, right?
His best friend, or one of his best friends, is Irving Azoff, who is the Eagles manager forever,
who got involved with Ticketmaster,
who Dolan was also involved with Ticketmaster.
So it's like a buddy-buddy thing.
He has no business opening up for the Eagles.
Come on!
I think he went out and hired
some of the best blues musicians in the world
who were just like,
all right,
whatever.
Oh, you booked James Dolan
instead of BB King's son?
Okay.
All right, fine, sure. Why son? Okay. All right. Sure.
Why not?
Okay.
So how does this play out?
What's the next year for the Knicks?
They trade Carmelo.
I don't think that...
This is the thing.
I think you just...
Carmelo retires as a Knick, bro.
And just like...
Carmelo's not on the Knicks next year.
You don't think so?
No.
No way.
There's a 0% chance.
He's on the Clippers next year.
Really?
The Clippers?
He's on the Clippers. For who? Just he's leaving? Or are we getting something back? I just have a feeling he's on the clippers next year really he's on the clippers for who just he's
leaving or are we getting i just have a feeling he goes to the clippers blake goes somewhere else
or okc or wherever and that's the move yeah that's how because the clippers got to shake
things up too if they don't have it they've been together yeah they're like that couple that never
got married they just stay together like they travel together all the time.
Their life is so great.
What's going on?
What's going on?
You guys get married?
Do you have any kids or anything?
No?
Never?
It's been 10 years, guys.
That's the thing that I feel like nobody ever talks about because you got Doc Rivers, who's
like a great coach.
Chris Paul is like top five point guards of all time.
Blake Griffin.
All this.
DeAndre Jordan, number one rim protector and blah, blah, blah.
And they never go anywhere.
Right.
Chris's State Farm. Bad luck. Chris's, blah. And they never go anywhere. Right. Crystal State Farm.
Is it because –
Is it Crystal State Farm?
Bad luck two years ago.
Okay.
When they blew that Houston game.
I guess it's not bad luck because they choked.
But that series was over.
I was at that game.
It was done.
Harden was sitting on the bench.
He's pouting.
They're down 20.
They put in Josh Smith.
Josh Smith starts making threes.
Yeah.
All of a sudden, the crowd got scared.
Who told Josh Smith He could shoot threes
Was that you
Yeah
The only time he ever made them
In his life
Corey Brewer's making threes
Like it just flipped
And that was
You know their chance
Sometimes with sports
Like you just
That one thing goes
Why do you think
Everybody hates Blake Griffin
Who plays against him
Why do NBA
What is it about Blake Griffin
That the NBA opponents
Love messing with him
Knocking him down?
I feel like he's pretty.
And he came out the gate like, he's doing the kind of SNL-y.
He's very Drake-ish.
The light-skinned, very multi-faceted.
Hey, I'm in front of the camera.
He's a little bit of jealousy.
You know what I mean?
He's like a pretty guy.
You've seen him be on SNL, but he's done sketches and comedy stuff.
And you're like, wow, this guy can do stuff.
He does stand-up comedy. Yeah. And he's a big guy. But at the same time, you know, he's done sketches and comedy stuff. You're like, wow, this guy can do stuff. He does stand-up comedy.
He's a big guy, but at the same time,
he's like a light-skinned guy.
You're a ball of his life.
These guys are like Steven Jackson type.
Ball of his life, motherfucker.
They got a basketball, flaming tattoo.
Also, he did the Kia commercial way too early.
They had him doing goofy stuff.
People were just like, look at this clown.
LeBron's Kia commercials are very much low.
I'm LeBron
here's a Kia
when he was
when he did a Kia thing
he was a superhero
hey I'm flying in outer space
I'm in a Kia
I have an astronaut
holding on
people in the locker room
was like yeah
you got 20 mil for that
but you know
you're dressing up
like a superhero
fucking cornball
you ain't gonna see me
in no motherfucking
astronaut suit
that's right
unless I'm Russell Russell
wearing it to the post game
it's amazing how many commercials
That they fuck up
Yeah
Where you just wonder like
What's going on
What was the
Remember the Kevin Durant one
Where the guy was in the tree house
And he was like having a dream
For Sprint
And Kevin Durant was like
Hey
And the guy had like
The weird slip
He was like
No cause you're in a dream
Yeah
The good one they had
Was the Kevin Durant one
Where the husband
Of the lady
Transferred to Kevin Durant And she was husband of the lady transformed into Kevin Durant.
She was like, I know some things I want to do with you.
That was wild.
I don't understand the State Farm ones where they just made the Clippers look
like a bunch of dumbasses.
Yeah, that was terrible.
They had something cool with the initial Chris Clifpole thing.
And it wasn't that well.
Way too much.
He did too much.
The Steph Curry.
I thought it would be funny
If they would have did
Steph Curry and Seth Curry
Yeah
Like the actual Seth Curry
Like yo at least do something different
But not
We're just gonna put a mustache
On this guy
We're gonna put a mustache
On Sue Bird
That would have been so much better
You know what I mean
I saw when I
I went to see Fast 8
The other day
And they ran like a
Three minute Adidas commercial
Before it
And Kareem was in it
Wow
Kareem wore Adidas It was all these Different random people And it was like a three minute Adidas commercial before it. And Kareem was in it. Wow. Kareem wore Adidas?
It was all these different random people.
And it was like typical Adidas, like cool street and all that stuff.
And Snoop Dogg's in it.
Just these random people.
Yeah.
But Kareem was like the legendary basketball player.
And they used him like he's almost like this Buddha.
Yeah.
And I was like, this is actually pretty effective use of Kareem.
Yeah.
See, he's now 70 years.
Kareem is my least favorite athlete of all time.
Least favorite?
But he's the best.
He whistled an elbow at Larry Bird.
Didn't you give him number one in your basketball book?
I had him third.
You had him third?
Who was number one?
I had MJ, then Russell.
MJ, then Russell?
Kareem third.
I was furious.
You thought he was going to say Bob Cousy?
Yo, did you see that guy on Twitter who was like,
Kyrie Irving couldn't hold a candle to Bob Cousy? Well, that gets, yeah. It's tough to compare eras. Yo, did you see that guy on Twitter who was like, Kyrie Irving couldn't hold a candle to Bob Cousy?
Well, that gets, yeah.
It's tough to compare eras.
Like, yo, come on.
That's a very nuanced take.
Yeah, it's tough.
Like, come on.
Like, I understand the respect for the game, but they were playing a totally different game.
Well, that's why when I was, I'd spent like three years working on my book, and I had a friend in NBA Entertainment, because this was pre-YouTube.
So it's really hard to find any video of these guys
from the 50s, 60s, 70s.
So I got all excited. He had one of the
Wilt games. It was like Wilt against the Knicks.
I'm like, this is great. I can't wait to see how great Wilt is.
And it was the equivalent of
if you put DeAndre Jordan
against a ninth grade
Jewish YMCA team or something.
It was
unbelievable.
It was like a Free alone Hebrew school
versus fucking
versus DeAndre Jordan.
It was like a commercial.
And I'm like,
oh my God.
Like, of course
he should have had 78 points.
He was five inches taller
than everybody.
Listen, I'm telling you,
I used to work
in a junior high school
and the first kids
that I was assigned to
were sixth graders
just because it comes
fresh out of fifth grade.
They're like 10, 11 years old.
I used to go in the gym and dominate.
You know what I'm saying?
Right.
And that's exactly what Will used to do.
You know what I'm saying?
I love how you said dominate the way LeBron was like, yeah, I dominated.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm a weird dude with like cock back layups.
It's a step back.
You know what I mean?
The other thing is the league shifted in the 60s.
So all of a sudden the black stars started taking off.
Yeah, Dr. J's and all those guys.
But they still had it so that every team could only have one or two black guys because they
were still so racist back then.
They knew what it was.
So these guys are still just crushing it.
And then finally, the league started to get blacker and it just became what it became.
But you had Oscar and Elgin and Will and Connie Hawkins.
They wouldn't even let in for eight years.
Yeah.
Right.
But yeah, I was stunned by that.
I was stunned by Oscar.
Like just the high dribblebble just physical backing dudes down and it was like these little prototypes of people that were gonna come all these years later you've seen the westbrook commercial with
oscar nah well they keep the triple double he's passing him it's fucking cool oh wow i haven't
seen that yeah i hated the triple double all the time on nba tv if you have it by the way
did you guys like the triple double thing or no just They run it all the time on NBA TV, if you have it, by the way. Did you guys like the triple-double thing or no?
Him getting the triple-double?
Just like that people made that the basis of their MVP case.
I mean, like, I was, like, look.
Like, I wouldn't want to be an MVP with no ring.
That seems kind of like.
People, but look.
We're not getting out of the first round.
Yeah, like, that's tough.
That's tough, but it's like still.
That hurts more.
But, like, people will slob MJ's knob all day about the stats and this and that.
And he was the dude like I read
cause I read Jordan Rules
and I read like
yo he would go
to the scorer's table
and be like
yo how many more assists
do I need to get
like a triple double
like he was like a dude
that was like
checking on his stats
but why was he
checking on his stats
cause he probably
got like bets on his
he's like yo
he's like yo Scotty
he's like yo Scotty
it wasn't a work day
he's like yo
he's like yo yo yo Scotty Scotty I bet you yo, Scotty. It wasn't a work day. He's like, yo, I got a couple of spray tickets. He's like, yo, yo, yo, Scotty.
Scotty, I bet you're punk ass.
I get 12 assists tonight.
I bet you're bitch ass.
I bet you I do.
Nigga, we play the back 18.
It's good.
You thought you was going to keep that 50 from the back nine last week?
Ha, hell no.
You see this hoopie right?
This mic.
MJ takes no losses.
Now watch me.
You crazy?
I'm going to do a free throw with my eyes closed.
Yo, you know what I'm saying?
Because that's the type of dude.
Yo, I have the undyingying Like it will never go away
Like my Mike Jordan
Like I've never met
That dude a day in my life
Yeah
But I know who he is
Yeah
You know what I mean
Like I have
Michael Jordan in my brain
I know who he is
We should one day do a movie
About what it's like
Growing up
In the shadow of
Michael Jordan
Was Freddy Krueger to us
Yeah
He was a villain
We grew up in the 90s
Watching the 90s
Nicks who was like
Get decimated
By this fucking asshole With his tongue sticking out, taking off from the
free throw line.
What the fuck is this guy?
Like you said, you're a generation older or whatever, but you're watching this with a
different set of eyes.
I'm watching this as a kid.
These guys are my heroes.
We revered Jordan because he was the first cool guy we ever had to root for.
His shoes were cool.
His commercials.
Did you ever think that he could be defeated?
Because as a kid, I'm like, yo, the Knicks will never beat Michael Jordan. His shoes were cool. His commercials. And did you ever think that he could be defeated? Because as a kid,
I'm like,
yo, the Knicks will never be Michael Jordan.
I hated Jordans as a kid.
They were trash.
I hated Reggie Miller.
I hated Tim Hardaway.
You forget though,
for three, four years,
it was like,
he doesn't know how to win yet.
Jordan?
It was like the stupid media there.
It's all great,
but he doesn't know how to win.
He's not like Magic and Larry.
What was it like? I don't know how to win. It was New York. He doesn't know how to win. He's not like Magic and Larry. Was it like that?
I don't know how to win.
It's like, hey, he doesn't know how to win because his teammates aren't good enough yet.
And then his teammates got better.
It's like, yeah, he knows how to win now.
That's what I'm saying.
It's so funny to me because I'm like, yo, every time people bring up these arguments
about Michael Jordan, it's like he came in the league and immediately started dominating
and they won the bajillion championships.
I'm like, bro, that's not the story.
He came in the league and they stuck for a while.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
And he had to get his dudes to wear it. The league was also really good. And then, like, yo, he dropped 60 against the Celtics. I was like, yeah, that's not the story. He came in the league and they stuck for a while. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And he had to get his dudes to wear it.
The league was also really good.
And then he dropped 60 against the Celtics.
I was like, yeah, and they lost, dog.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And it was a double OT, too.
The game before was actually more impressive.
I think he put up 49 in regulation.
His stats were better.
Against who?
The Celtics.
He put up 49 and 63 in the first two games.
But wasn't Larry washed at that time?
No, no.
That was height of the legend
that's when they had the game
remember one of the most
iconic video games ever
oh yeah
Jordan vs. Bird
you could shatter the backboard
and the custodian came out
I went to the game
when he fought
when he fought Doc
I was at that game
oh wow
I mean you want to talk about
passion
I don't
like imagine
Oprah fighting Michelle Obama
wow
like in your
10 feet away
oh my god
Oprah's punching Michelle Obama
what's happening
I don't know
I wouldn't even record that
I would try to bring
I'm like
you're in Russia man
I'm like
you can't put this on Oprah
we gotta get assassinated
Oprah get off her
get in here
remember that's what it was like
don't tape this
we're gonna get assassinated
I thought people
phoned out their hands
we were so shocked
cause Dr. J was like
royalty like he was the guy and then Bird was the up and coming guy all of a sudden get assassinated we were so shocked because Dr. J was like royalty
like he was the guy
and then Bird
was the up and coming guy
all of a sudden
they start punching each other
and Barkley and Malone
come in
they're holding Bird
from behind
and Doc's like
punching him
it was
it was scarring
emotionally
but anyway
the Jordan thing
I see your pain
the Charles Smith block
so
I don't blame him because I feel like he got fouled on three of those four I see your pain. The Charles Smith block. So,
I don't blame him because I feel like
he got fouled
on three of those four.
I feel like that too.
They have that
under the basket camera
and Pippen's just like
whacking shit out of him.
I think that made it hurt more
because you saw that
and I was a kid
and I didn't know
all the rules of basketball.
I was like,
yo,
we're going to get a foul for that?
And all the Knicks fans are like,
Charles,
you got to dunk it.
You're 6'11". It's like, Jordan's the best player to get a foul call there? And all the Knicks fans are like, Charlie, you got to dunk it. You're 6'11".
It's like, Jordan's the best player of all time.
Pippen's probably one of the five best defensive players of all time.
Both of them are jumping up.
Whacking them in the face.
It's like a three-inch height difference for Pippen.
Well, I mean, that's the beauty of New York fans.
New York fans go by their guts, not necessarily stats or athletics.
Just spent one weekend, just spent one day listening to WFM,
Mike Francesa.
This is the two,
the things that people call in and the trades they want to make
and stuff.
They're like,
oh,
I'll give you CC Sabathia
for fucking...
Mike Trout straight up.
What do you think?
What do you think?
I'll hang up and listen.
And he actually was like,
oh,
you got to...
He has potential upside.
Like,
no,
nobody wants you.
Hey,
Mike,
first time,
long time.
Not that CC is my guy,
but...
First time,
long time.
I think Derek Jeter
should take over for Joe Girardi
I'm gonna hang up
and listen
what do you think
what do you think
what do we say
we trade Melo
for LeBron straight up
you take that deal
what world
Francisco Nunes
is like
first of all
I don't watch basketball
because they're all black
I don't like it
Steve bring me another
Diet Coke please
the world baseball classic
is a lie
why are those brown people
we're not working for this
it's terrible
it's terrible
it's too many Latinos
Are you guys old enough to
You must have listened
To Mike and the Dog right
Yeah
Yeah a little bit
Yeah I remember
Do you remember Corey Lytle
Yeah
The Yankee pitcher
Yeah yeah
After he lost
That playoff round
Right
He called in to
Mike and the Mad Dog
And they were like
What are you doing
He was like
Oh you know
He had just gotten traded
With Bobby Abreu
From Philly And he was just enjoying The sights of New Dog. And they were like, what are you doing? He was like, oh, you know, he had just gotten traded with Bobby Abreu from Philly.
And he was just enjoying the sights of New York City.
And they fucking ragged him.
How dare you enjoy New York City after you just lost in the playoffs?
Like, you shouldn't be.
And he was like, yo, my family just moved here.
We're just walking around.
That Friday, he flew the plane into the building and died.
And I was like, oh.
That's horrible.
I was like, oh, so what?
And they did not cover it
they just kept going oh my god listen i remember i remember mike ruthless media and then they have
the the that one that everyone deadspin is looking for about the 9-11 tapes about supposedly they
were like talking they had some wild conspiracy jewish theory whoa but now at wfa it was like
yeah the tape recorders didn't exist back then So Desmond is like
Trying to do like
A study to find out
If anyone has any of those tapes
Yikes
They think it might be
Like a Streisand effect
Kind of thing
Where people were just
Not no
Was it Streisand?
Is it Streisand?
Where people were just
Kind of remembering
Oh yeah I know
What you're talking about
The alternate reality
Sinbad Kazem
Sinbad was never in Kazem
Well some people think
Hold on I have some
Quick questions for you guys Yeah yeah hell yeah Let's do it Quick break to talk about Our long time buddies Sinbad Kazem Sinbad was never in Kazem Well some people think Hold on I had some quick questions
For you guys
Yeah yeah
Hell yeah
Let's do it
Quick break to talk about
Our long time buddies
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Back to the bodega boys.
Not to break us out of the flow.
No, no problem.
I just didn't want to forget about that.
There's no flow, man.
Kobe's Muse Cage.
Are you familiar with this?
His Muse Cage?
You're not following Kobe's Muse Cage?
Yeah, I've seen that hashtag.
I'm like, what is Kobe's Muse Cage?
He did like an 11-minute thing on NBA Countdown.
I thought it was like he went to France or something.
I'm like, oh, Muse Cage.
They were like puppets. Oh, Muse Cage. I really want was like he went to France or something. They were like puppets.
I really want you guys to watch this at some point.
It's this whole thing about
it's a muse.
You have your light muse
and your dark muse.
And NBA...
I can't even totally explain it, but NBA
players have to embrace their dark muse
to get to where they want to go.
But as he's doing this he has puppets
next to him
explain it
or like
you'll get a whole show
out of the music
don't forget
Kobe had the Kobe system
his series of commercials
for Nike
was it
Nike
remember the one with Kanye
that was like
one of my favorite things
he was like
you have to embrace the mom
but Kanye
Kanye was like
who's this Kanye guy
what the fuck are you talking about
he's like what the fuck
are you talking about
yeah Kanye and a Kobe commercial
Kobe's been doing this for almost 12 years where he decides on something.
He's like, I'm going to push this.
Almost like how a rapper would.
I'm changing my number and I'm going to push this.
And it's always something really kind of weird.
You know what I mean?
Because he's weird.
Yeah, it's never anything just like-
He's weird, but he's very zen.
I just remember when-
And he's a man of your own.
Matt Barnes faked to throw the ball in his face.
He never did.
He never did.
That was so bad. And that right there, I was like, he's on to something the ball in his face. He never did. He flinched.
That was so bad.
And that right there, I was like, he's on to something.
So I respect the Mambo.
Yeah.
And he was kind of.
He did get punched by Chris Childs.
He did.
True.
He didn't lose that one.
Full-time moment in Nick's history.
Yeah.
True.
All right.
He was in that night.
He permed his afro.
Yeah, he flinched for that one.
Maybe he should have flinched for that one.
But you're not.
But those were angry punches from Chris Childs.
Yeah, yeah.
You're not going to want to fight with a Nick.
Yeah.
With that photo shoot for Vanity Fair.
That was winning the championship for Nick fans also, by the way.
It was.
We celebrate that.
We just had some good fights.
Like the Greg Anthony, Doc Rivers.
That was a good one.
The Miami Heat.
Jeff Van Gundy grabbing out to Zoe.
Who did Mello fight?
Was it...
Marty Collins?
Molly Collins.
That's when he was on the Nuggets.
Yeah, he clapped Marty Collins.
You know when you remember something in your arcade
and then it's never as good as what you thought it was going to be?
Yeah.
When I was a kid, I watched this Knicks game.
Ken the Animal Bannister.
Remember him?
Oh, wow.
He got in a fight with somebody.
But the best NBA fights are when nobody's close enough
to break it up for like three seconds.
So it was like a behind-the-play fight.
And they were just swinging.
And then it spilled in the scores table.
And I always remember
that as like
Hagler Hearns
and then I finally
saw it on YouTube
and it was like
two seconds long.
Ten seconds.
You just blow it up
in your head.
But they don't have
those fights anymore.
We actually talked about
that on our show.
Desus and Merrill,
which you can watch
on FightSlam.
The Serge Ibaka thing
you talked about.
Yeah.
Which was kind of right.
Nobody touched each other.
Nobody touched each other.
But then you got fights
like Oakley used to
snuff everybody
And they wouldn't even
Like blow the whistle
They just keep playing through
I remember there was
A Martin Luther King
Matinee game
And
I'm gonna take it back
Who was a
Perpetual virgin
In the NBA
AC Green
AC Green
Yeah tough label
You remember J.R. Reid
Yeah
AC Green went up for a dunk
J.R. Reid
Brought him down
It was like a flagrant foul
He brought him down so bad He he knocked out his two front teeth.
And I was just like, yo, I've never seen a rough play like that.
I think J.R. Reid got suspended one game.
That was the NBA back then.
You look at some of the stuff that Pistons and the Knicks used to do to MJ and those guys.
It was criminal.
They would never allow that.
They would never allow it.
People would be brought up on felonies.
Trying to undercut guys when they're in the air and stuff. Bro, I remember when it was the Nixon Bulls and Pat caught a steal and was on a breakaway
for a dunk and Dennis Rodman straight low bridged him at the rim.
Right.
And I was like, bro, you could have killed Pat just now.
And it was just like foul on the play.
Two shots.
Two shots.
I was like, bro, you almost killed this dude, bro, because he fell so awkwardly.
And you know Pat, he's like all arms and legs.
Gonky. He's like. I was like, yo. King of Jamaica. dude, bro, because he fell so awkwardly. And you know Pat, he's like all arms and legs. Gonky.
He's like, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I was like, yo.
King of Jamaica.
Give him his respect.
Shout to him.
I was at the game when Parrish assaulted Lambert.
He stayed in the game.
Oh, wow.
Just punching him from behind.
Like, you just have like a 15-punch rule.
Like, after 15 punches, they'll be like, all right, break it up.
No, you can't do that, because there's too many entourages.
Why won't LeBron just go bald?
It's a pride thing.
As a man, you have to, like, hold your hair line inine and your respect that's true yeah it's very big in the black community
does your hairline gotta be strong okay i'm saying also they're doing incredible things
with stem cells my man right here he's keeping track of it we're gonna have to we're gonna have
to just come out with bangs the bangs i would be like what's that girl zoe de chateau
oh god it's gonna be so good is Russell Westbrook Happy that Durant left
Um
I think so
I think he is
But then like
Imagine if the three of them
Like Harden, Westbrook
And Durant
Could have stayed together
I can see fans get mad at me
Cause I've been bringing it up
For five years
I bring it up too
I'm like
First of all
I'm like
Okay I don't know that much
About like
You know
Salary caps
And all that stuff
But I'm like
Is it really impossible To keep the three of these Two's together No It wasn't It wasn't very that stuff. But I'm like, is it really impossible
to keep the three of these dudes together?
It wasn't.
It wasn't very possible.
You know what I'm saying?
Like,
why would you do that?
I just remember that Russell Westbrook,
now I do what I want.
It reminds me of
when you break up with a girl,
you're like,
yo,
I need space.
Like,
I'm tired of following your rules and stuff.
And then there's that one day
you're in the living room.
After two weeks,
you're like,
oh,
I gotta do my laundry.
But now it's just like,
I mean, all the triple doubles, that's proof. Listen, he's got the ball more, but it's just like, oh. He messed up. I got to do my laundry? But now it's just like, I mean, all the triple doubles, that's proof.
Listen, he's got the ball more, but it's just like, to what ends?
I feel like LeBron could have, if somebody had said, LeBron, it's going to be a huge
deal if you average your triple double, I think he just does it.
He could do it by accident.
In 2009, he could have done that in his fucking sleep.
And I always say this about LeBron, and I don't care, I'll argue to the death.
LeBron James is the greatest basketball player I have ever seen, we have ever seen, ever, period.
Like, physically, the game, the vision, the dude has every tool that you need to be a great basketball player.
And he has it on, like, 99.
Like, you know when you play 2K, you throw the sliders all the way up to 99?
He is all the way up to 99 on every slider.
Like, I don't know what he can't do on a basketball court
and also the best thing is
he has never
rapped
he has never
tarnished his legacy
with a weak verse
every time you have
a good rap
every time you have
a good basketball player
Cedric Sabalis
well Kobe had the
Tyra Banks
All-Star Weekend
he performed
before the page
I remember
Allen Iverson
the NBA was like
yo you cannot release it I heard that album NBA was like Yo you cannot release it
I heard that album
I was like yo
Jules?
Yeah
Like mad homophobic
Lyrics and stuff
Allen Iverson?
Oh yeah
I was the one where
He almost got kicked
Out of the league
For a year
That was wild
He was doing a lot
That's not happening again
My man
You cannot drop
Several F-bombs
And by F-bombs
I don't mean fuck
Right
You know what I'm saying?
You can't do that
20 times on a record.
Yeah, you're right about LeBron.
LeBron has done an amazing job of not embarrassing himself in any way.
He really should be MVP.
You never see LeBron marketing something.
You're like, yo, you didn't have to do that.
You never see him, like, dancing like a Kit Kat bar or something.
Like, all his stuff is very, he moved very strategically.
He didn't have his one year where it was obvious he was smoking so much pot, like he lost a step or like none of those.
Like he was hanging around with the wrong teammate.
Or he had the stripper controversy.
Like none of that shit ever happened.
The worst you'll see from LeBron is like him sitting in his driveway
listening to Future on the weekends.
I like that little Knicks dig,
messing around with the stripper Knicks dig.
That was classy.
Real classy, Bill.
Real classy, Bill. Classy move, Bill. Classy move, Bill. with the stripper next dig I was classy real classy Bill real classy Bill
classy move Bill
classy move Bill
we're expecting
this guy's
I don't expect that
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this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's We don't know for sure It was page six That's true Page six is very salacious TMZ is saying that
Like she's a student
In Northwest University
Who knows bro
Who cares
Like I'm
My thing now
That I'm like kind of
Hollywood adjacent
Or like popping
Like I'm looking at
A whole different thing
Like I'm looking at
As a cautionary tale
Like I'm not looking at it
Like yo I'm gonna find out
More information
I'm like yo
What did he do wrong
And let me not do this
In the future
Yo that's what I'm saying
But like look
If you are in the NBA,
shouldn't your wife
kind of expect
this dude's going to get
his dick put on the side?
She's a celebrity.
She has no idea
NBA players are like they are.
Is that terrible to even say?
I feel terrible for you.
It is 100% not terrible.
If your girl works
at a stop and shop,
you can,
and you're in the NBA,
there's different rules,
but if your girl
is also on TV,
if y'all go on
Getty Images
and y'all both names are on the bottom
You really can't be out there slaying wild dills or other day, but she was really like
Yeah, but she was really like a wild like she was like a Rajah Rondo like second rounder
Plan from 2000
Game plan to get a bowler was no different than LeBron's strategic
advertisement endorsements. She got a
chart and she was like, boom. She got him.
She's good. Coincidence
that that was the name of the character and he got game?
Ooh.
Oh.
Wow.
Bill Simmons.
Bill Simmons opened up third.
Wow. The Stay Woke Podcast. But I'm saying like when he when Mello and Lala got together Mello was the alpha in that situation But then Lala was like a third tier MTV
But you can make the excuse you can make the argument that he wouldn't be where he's at now without her help
But a lot of people say that because I'm sure if you went home right now
and went to your wife like,
yo, I did this all by myself.
The way she hits you with a really nigga
would make you a henchman.
I mean, yo, listen.
Shout out to Heather.
I love you.
But like, you know what I'm saying?
Clean up, boy.
Clean up.
Yo, like Rick Ross said,
like, yo, you wasn't with me
shooting in the gym.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, look. Honestly, look wasn't with me shooting in the gym. You know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, look, honestly, look, like, and I say this all the time.
Like, it's very important, like, to have a dope partnership where your partner supports you and stuff like that.
But, like, fam, like, you're doing the work.
But you can't.
If someone was with you when you were broke and now you're bringing in money, you can't be like, yo, the rules are changing.
That's why my rules will never change.
That's why I can't even fix my face to give my wife the Diddy 75-25 plan.
Have you heard about this?
Where it's like 75% of the time, you'll be the happiest woman in the world.
You'll get everything you need.
You'll be fully supported.
I'll give you my love and support.
And then 25%, you're going to hear stuff that's going to make you upset.
You know what I'm saying?
But you just got to go with it.
Only Diddy could get away with that.
You know what I'm saying?
Diddy named that after himself?
Yes.
The 75-25 plan.
It only works with Diddy.
If your name is Walter or Clarence, go try that shit with Gloria, your wife.
Bring home a steady $65,000 a year and tell her you're going to be treated like a princess.
He could potentially do that because he's not with anybody now.
Whoever gets with him now, it's like, okay, now you're on TV, but whatever.
I got with my wife years ago.
No, no, no.
See, he doesn't know how to move.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm trying to move upwards.
I'm trying to knock up
like Salon for somebody.
The only part that made me think
that that story might have been true
is the quote that Carmelo was saying,
Lala is married and I'm not.
That's too weird to make up.
I've heard that.
But that sounds like a goofy...
I've heard people say that before,
but usually they're like party promoters.
Not NBA players.
Nah, that sounds like some lame
like Ashley Madison template shit.
Like, I don't...
Like, I feel like he was out there probably moving around or whatever. He's an NBA players. Nah, that sounds like some lame Ashley Madison template shit. I feel like he was out there probably moving around or whatever.
He's an NBA star.
This is a shock.
That's what I'm saying.
Unfaithful NBA star?
I don't know.
Let's wait until the DNA results come in.
Let's go on Maury.
All right.
Is there an NBA star that isn't getting some on the side?
That isn't getting some on the side? That isn't getting some on the side?
I'm going to go with the blind, no.
The dude from
the Spurs. The dude that's huge.
He has the huge hands. Not Kawhi.
Bogdan.
He's on the business?
Alright, cool.
I don't think Steph Curry is getting...
I feel like Steph Curry and his wife are constantly around each other
and they really genuinely enjoy each other's company to the point where he couldn't even get someone on the side if he wanted to.
Those are the guys that are getting 28,000 BJs behind the scenes.
No, because it's the logistics.
Because they love being around their wives all the time so much.
No, it's the logistics.
Listen, there's a logistics thing about cheating.
And it's just like sometimes it's not about opportunity.
Sometimes it's about, yo, your wife is always there.
And you know some people's wives, if they're out the room for five minutes yo your wife is always there and you know some
people's wives they can't like if they're out the room for five minutes their wife is like yo where
is my husband but she's kind of feel get that feeling with it and also he looks like he generally
would rather be around his wife and kids than anyone else i mean i would too but it's like
you would too if you had a wife and kids i'm like that but i'm 47 i would also rather be around my
wife and kids but it's like bro like you're a bajillionaire you know what i'm saying like the world is your oyster you know what i
mean like not everyone thinks like that not everyone's a piece of shit you know what i'm
saying like i don't know he has a strong religious relationship with her family and his family is
all things are possible through christ like okay listen if you love jesus you're not out here
getting a side beach that's true i respect that this guy drinks one beer at 8 a.m. But I also have no kids and no wife, so that's fine.
No one judges me.
If I was to die in an alley in front of this lot, people would be like, he had a good run.
Two-part question.
Do you think NBA players use PEDs, and if they do, do you care?
I think they might, but I don't care.
Before I answer that, I thought you said two-part question.
I was like, what the fuck is he about to ask us?
I'll come up with a two-part question.
I think they do use PED
And I don't care
It's also like
Baseball players using PED
I don't care
If their home runs out the park
Maybe that will save the game
But football you would care
Because somebody got hurt
Boxing
That's why I care more
Boxing is different
Because it's like
Bro you could die
You know what I mean
You can die
It's like
It's not
You don't want to get guys to level
Where it's like
I can kill you with one punch
Like in boxing
Contact sports Chill Baseball Basketball Soccer Like bro I don't want to get guys to the level where it's like, I can kill you with one punch. In boxing, contact sports, chill.
Baseball, basketball, soccer, I don't care.
Baseball is how the old school people got mad that the stats got fucked up.
Yeah.
Mickey Mantle's 350 triple crown.
There's also a guy, you're a baseball guy.
Yeah.
There's also a guy who said that Derek Jeter doesn't crack the top 10 Yankees of all time.
Who said that?
Some wingding on Twitter, but he's verified.
He's like a verified sports writer.
See, this is where stats go wrong.
Because as a Red Sox fan, when Derek Jeter came up and there was a guy on second, I knew he was going to hit a single over the second baseman side to right field and get a run.
And I don't care what the stats said.
I was scared of that every time.
Every time.
I was more scared of him than anybody else you had on the team
you were the most scared
of Manny
on the red side
absolutely
Manny and Poppy
Manny and Poppy
every time Poppy
came to the plate
I was like
there was again
that mixture of
Dominican pride
and feeling of dread
like yo this dude
is going to smash
the cover off the ball
and knock in
X amount of runs
and the Yankees
are going to lose
so like damn I forgot what I was saying.
You were talking about PEDs and baseball.
Right.
I don't care about PEDs and baseball because it makes everything more fun and exciting.
Like a pitcher's duel is dope.
Yeah.
But like, I'd rather see a game where like, you know what I mean?
There's runners on base.
Like some get stranded, some don't.
Like I like offense in baseball.
It's just like sex.
Most things can be made better with drugs, but until someone gets hurt.
So it's like...
This is a question from a reader that I just thought it'd be better to ask you guys.
How crazy it is that people under 30 can quote way more Charlie Murphy lines than Eddie Murphy lines from Brandon and San Jose.
Chappelle Show.
Straight up.
Chappelle Show.
Chappelle Show.
Eddie was like the god of my childhood.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, when I was growing up,
like, I wasn't allowed to listen to Eddie Murphy shit.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
He's the forbidden fruit.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was like,
yo, you can't listen to this,
but he's mega famous.
And he's everywhere.
But like, so like,
because I was, you know what I'm saying?
So it's a little different.
But Chappelle Show definitely,
I feel like,
because people that knew comedy
knew Charlie Murphy regardless.
But the younger generation definitely got put on of him.
So Chappelle is over Eddie Murphy for anyone under 30, basically.
Yeah, because Chappelle's show came in.
It's hard for me to accept.
But I know it's true.
And I remember Eddie won.
Eddie killed the game very early.
He made a lot of money.
And he was like, yo, I'm good.
I don't have to do anything else.
Now I'm doing Shrek.
Eddie from 82 to 88 is basically MJ
from 91 to 90
it's the same thing
he crushed it
he saved SNL
he came up with
like several movie
franchises that people
are trying to reboot now
and shit
so like
all the stuff
I mean like when
Eddie would come back
he'd do like Norbit
like he didn't need
the money for Norbit
he just did that for fun
I feel like he lost his way
yeah
I think he got too famous
he hasn't tarnished he hasn't come out and his like he hasn't come out and done like a really
problematic special or anything he's just like not doing he had the last thing he worked on was
a reggae album yeah that was wild i mean they listen deja vu it's what have you done lately
the rick james skitch in particular really was it yeah because he really like charlie murphy was a
dope storyteller you know what i mean and like that story was so funny that like you can watch it a lot yeah chappelle dresses prince you
know what i mean so there was so many things that came into it that like that sticks in the mind of
like every millennial so eddie had the black actor championship belt in the 80s and then
well denzel had it made for a couple years then will smith just takes it i feel like
too like i feel like denzel's on another level, though, too.
I feel like Denzel... Well, Denzel's had it forever,
but who has it after Denzel?
It's like when you talk about rappers,
there's Jay-Z,
in terms of overall...
You can't even compare him to anybody.
Yeah, he's Jay-Z,
and then there's everybody else.
Yeah, you got a couple people,
you'd be like,
oh, Don Cheadle's next.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, damn.
Make some noise.
Damn, he did Crash 2.
They gotta make more stuff.
Denzel was always like
The criminal
Honestly I thought
The next guy up
Was gonna be Michael B. Jordan
I thought like
He did Creed
He would be my bet now
Cause I think Creed
Is standing in steam
Not on my watch
He was on spot
No
There's only room
For one thin
Kinda like
Shaped
African American
Kinda shaped
It's me it's me
it's me and Michael B. Jordan
man I'm out here in LA
don't be run up on you
and slap me
are you against
Michael B. Jordan
or Creed
I'm against Michael B. Jordan
this is the hottest take
I've ever heard
I'm against Michael B. Jordan
I get Fruitvale Station
I get it all
I don't like that
you know what it is
I love him
this is why I don't like
Michael B. Jordan
I was with a girl
when Creed came out and she was like yo look at his what it is? I love him. This is why I don't like Michael B. Jordan. I like him. Get this. I was with a girl when Creed came out, and she was like, yo, look at his.
He has a similar frame to you.
Like, whatever he did, it shouldn't be that hard for you to get that ripped.
So I was like, all right, whatever.
And I Googled.
I was like, Michael B. Jordan, muscles, Creed, workout routine.
So I thought Clay was the MacBook.
Like, fuck this.
And I saw Sander, and I was like, he's on HGH.
He didn't work out. Fuck that. It's all fake. He went to Dr. Miami. And that. And I saw Slander, and I was like, he's on HGH. He ain't working out.
Fuck that.
He's all fake.
He went to Dr. Miami.
And that's why I beat Michael B. Jordan.
Did she really say you guys have similar builds?
She did.
Shout out to her for being a tremendous liar.
She gassed me.
She gassed me.
No, actually, no.
I got the soccer physique.
You know what it is.
You know what it is.
Though, listen.
If we take our shirts off here, only of Only one of our bodies Is impressing people
Okay
You look like you're wearing
A light fur coat
Underneath your shirt
The Oscars
The Oscars
The Oscars reminded me
How famous Denzel is
Cause when
When Kimmel brought
All those tourists in
And they only wanted
They just gravitated to Denzel
Denzel's like famous guy
If he was sitting next to Leo
They would've gone to Denzel
They walked past all those guys Ryan Gosling There's Denzel Denzel is oneitated to Denzel. Denzel's a famous guy. If he was sitting next to Leo, they would have gone to Denzel.
They walked past all those guys.
Ryan Gosling.
There's Denzel.
Denzel is one word.
Just Denzel.
If Denzel's in a movie,
the movie no longer has a title.
The movie becomes whatever Denzel was doing in a movie.
So Flight becomes Denzel flew the plane on Coke. And he's always kind of Denzel in the movie.
He might have different facial hair.
Training Day's the only one where I felt like he became a different guy.
But what was the name of the character in Training Day?
What was the name of his character denzel denzel exactly
like flight he's like drunk pilot
he's south american security guard denzel denzel has done a movie on every form of transportation
people don't realize that he has the one on uh he was on was he on heretic yeah he was he was on
that runaway train movie runaway train with like ryan gosling or somebody who's my answer i think He has the one on, he was on, was he on Humpf Riddick? Yeah, he was. He was on that Runaway Train movie. The Runaway Train one?
With like Ryan Gosling or somebody.
Who's the other guy in that movie?
Here's my answer, I think,
for the question.
Like if you're going to be stuck
on a Desert Island,
you can only have DVDs
of one actor or actress.
Oh, definitely Denzel.
Yeah, I'd probably take Denzel.
Yeah.
Because it's either,
because Hanks is a decent answer too
because he has a whole 80s library too
that Denzel doesn't have.
Hanks is good.
But Denzel,
he lied. He lied like 100 hours out of Denzel.'t have. Hanks is good. But Denzel, he's like 100 hours
out of Denzel.
For real.
Just watching him over and over again.
Why don't I have Netflix?
What's going on?
What do you mean?
What do you mean DVDs?
What's that?
A digital video?
Do you have to watch
your entire movie?
You forgot to pack
the DVD player?
You're like,
fuck!
You're like shining
a magnifying glass on him
trying to play him with his son?
Just reading the back of it
to a coconut like,
in this movie, Denzel has a plane. Oh, nice. to play him with his son. He's reading the back of it to a coconut like, in this movie,
that's a plane.
Oh, nice.
Way to your kids get older.
It's amazing.
My kids don't even use a remote control.
They're just Netflix, boom, on demand.
My three-year-old knows how to completely manipulate
and turn on the TV,
turn it to the right source,
like HDMI 3,
pick up the Xbox remote,
turn it on,
scroll down to Netflix,
hit that,
go to the kids menu
look through the whole shit
there's no toggling anymore
I watched my nephew
he's 3
and I watched him
connect to the wifi
and go on YouTube
and watch an unboxing video
and I was like
wow
that's huge
I've never seen
how do people watch
your show you think
obviously they watch
them on Viceland
but do you think you get
we get a lot of app
internet audience
we get a lot of app
a lot of internet
most people don't have straight up cable anymore anymore i'm learning that the younger gender like you know
like not to seem that creepy but some of the younger chicks i've messed with i've gone in the
house and like all they got is roku they have no straight up cable and it's just like yo i just
watch your show on the app which is kind of mind-blowing to me because i'm one of those
people that likes to come home and flip through channels right and we're like roku and sling is
not exactly the same but i love you being old channels i still love it i have every cable
movie channel yeah we have the what the direct to now it's the cable one the time warner here it's
got like every hundred movie channels including epics which is kind of that's the one that shows
creed all the time yeah i just like to go through and be like oh rocky four my cable bill just
jumped to like 200 a month i'm like i be like oh Rocky IV my cable bill just jumped to
like 200 a month
I'm like
I'm like yo
I'm on cable
so I can justify
having it
but the average person
read that shit off
I feel
yeah I write off
all that shit
but I feel like
I never feel it
you guys are in the industry
exactly
yeah
that's what my tax lady said
she was like
you're in the industry
you gotta write all this stuff off
let me tell ya
so
we gotta go
is your tax lady
calling into Mike Francesco
what's his name
I don't know that was mic Francesco I don't know
That was my Jewish accent
I don't know
That wasn't even Jewish
That was like
A stereotypical 1980s
Hot dog vendor
It's like a Billy Crystal
Yeah
Harry Casale
Y'all have what she's having
He is right
Billy Crystal's Jewish right
Really
You had to ask
If Billy Crystal was Jewish
I don't like to assume
No
I don't like to assume
When you look in the dictionary
Under Jewish His picture is there I don't like Performing a bris Like I don't like to assume. No. I don't like to assume. When you look in the dictionary under Jewish, his picture is there.
I listen.
I don't like performing a bris.
Like, I don't like to assume things.
Yeah, nah, like, shout out to him.
I mean, like, you know.
Wait, we're wrapping up.
So, last thing.
Last thing.
Things are going well for you guys.
So, what has the next year play out?
What do you want?
What do you want to happen?
This is wild.
We had a lot of attention.
You're building your fan base.
What's next?
You know what?
Movies, books, TV shows and stuff.
Because we've been having meetings out here in LA.
And everyone's just like, yo, the world's your oyster, y'all.
We have so many projects we want to work in.
But we're still having fun with it.
But that gets dangerous, though.
Because you don't want to do too many things either.
You don't want to do too many things.
You just want to do the right things.
And that's why shout out to Victor Lopez, who watches our stuff.
And Christina Bess Degas.
You know what I'm saying?
Christina.
Victoria.
You know what I mean?
They all kind of put us in the right spot.
If Tyler Perry was like, yo, Jesus, you're 60 mil, but you have to wear a dress.
We'll do a couple of emails.
I definitely would do it.
But we'd go over it.
I was going to say, there's no way you're not doing that.
I'm like, do I got to tuck or not?
He's doing it.
Tyler Perry's new movie, What If You Don't Love Your Co-Host.
They're going to do Eddie 2.
Remember the movie with Whoopi Goldberg?
I'm going to have to dress in drag to Coach to Knicks.
You know it.
I have a confession.
I really liked Eddie.
Eddie's a good movie.
Eddie gets unfairly maligned as a boss.
If you watch that movie, it's a beautiful snapshot
of mid-90s NBA.
There's a bunch of teams in it.
John Sally's in it.
Dwayne Shintz's speaks in a Russian accent or whatever.
Here, I'm predicting this right now.
Malik Sealy.
They're going to reboot Eddie 2 with Leslie Jones.
They got to do it.
They are.
Look at that.
Think about it.
Remember, it was the Knicks.
That's a great idea.
Leslie Jones is court-tied and everything.
Watch.
I want my wrong teeth.
Yo, let's go.
EP.
I like that idea.
That's good.
All right.
Well, I'm rooting for you guys. Thank you, man. Thanks for having us on, man. This, EP. I like that idea, that's good. All right, well, I'm rooting for you guys.
Thank you,
man.
Thanks for having us on,
man.
This is great.
We need to talk about Ride Home
and save it for next time.
Shout out to Ride Home.
Yeah,
shout out to Ride Home.
He's the guy.
He's a good dude.
Thank you,
fellas.
Thank you,
man.
Well,
thank you,
boys in the building.
He's Tremont.
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Don't forget about the Ringer NFL show.
That's where you can find GM Street, Kevin Clark's interview with Andrew Luck,
and a whole bunch of NFL
draft stuff we are doubling down
on the NFL draft we love it
it's fun check it out
check out the ringer NBA show for all of our
playoff stuff and
that's about it I think we're going to have one
more BS report we're squeezing one more out
this week it's either
going to be Friday or over the weekend I don't know
yet we'll see what happens.
Until then,
the BS Report. On the wayside On the first side of the river I'm saying
I don't have to ever forget