The Bill Simmons Podcast - Desus and Mero on Yankees–Red Sox, Protesting the Knicks, and NBA Playoffs (Ep. 202)

Episode Date: April 20, 2017

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons brings on Viceland stars Desus and Mero to discuss NBA fashion (5:00), making waves on the internet (12:00), the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry (16:00), the plight of Knicks... fandom (24:00), Phil Jackson vs. Melo (30:00), Blake Griffin's Kia commercials (36:00), Jordan's gambling (42:00), 1990s NBA fights (47:00), LeBron's brand (53:00), La La and Melo's split (56:00), Chappelle's return (1:02:00), Denzel's one-name status (1:06), and Eddie Murphy's comedic reign (1:10:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:43 We're taping this Wednesday afternoon, so we don't know if something crazy happened in the NBA playoffs. Forgive us. True. If Westbrook just fought hard in there or something. We all know. I just saw the outfit he's wearing. He came in tonight?
Starting point is 00:01:54 Yeah. He might find something. He's about to go off. Furry streets of rage. Where do you stand on the outfits? Because when I did the ESPN show on NBA, Desus and Mero, by the way. When I did the ESPN show, and Desus and Mero by the way when I did when I did the ESPN show
Starting point is 00:02:06 and it was the ABC2 they always wanted to show the athletes walking in and they would be like you and Jalen you guys just talk over the athletes and say funny
Starting point is 00:02:15 get Jalen to say funny things and I always felt vaguely off to me yeah I didn't like it you don't want to roast the athletes no it's just like
Starting point is 00:02:23 it just doesn't seem like part of the no other sport does this it's just like It just doesn't seem like Part of the No other sport does it It's just like Here's Miguel Cabrera He's walking in the clubhouse In a white leather suit Basketball
Starting point is 00:02:31 Yeah Because he's probably Coming in with like Linen pants like Papi Prenda la hookah He got no underwear on You can see his dick
Starting point is 00:02:36 I think the NBA Made it a thing When it was like When they changed The whole dress code On the sidelines Remember like Allen Iverson
Starting point is 00:02:45 in the ill-fitting 5XL suit and like David Stern made it hot David Stern made it hot by being like hey you guys can't dress a certain way
Starting point is 00:02:52 it's the best thing he ever did he made it forbidden when they were all wearing the baggy stuff and the hip hop shit nobody really cared there was no camera
Starting point is 00:03:01 in the tunnel but now that they changed the rules it's a whole sub show of the NBA broadcast it's's like yo because like right now my timeline everyone's like yo look at what russell westbrook is wearing like before that what would you be talking about right now like yo russell westbrook is shooting the ball there is there's a whole new there's people who follow basketball off of just like yo this is this person dresses this way or look what this person wears you have blogs that don't even cover their sports blogs.
Starting point is 00:03:25 They don't cover any of the actual sports. It's just like, yo, here's today's look. Look what Dwayne Wade had on. I feel like it started with the drafts when the guys kept fucking up the suits
Starting point is 00:03:33 for like 20 years. And then it became a thing on the internet. And then they started paying attention to the suits. And all of a sudden it wasn't fun anymore because everyone's
Starting point is 00:03:40 just wearing a nice suit. I think because no one wants to get roasted on social media. Yeah, you can't come through. I mean, see, and it doesn't happen in the NFL
Starting point is 00:03:46 because look at Ezekiel Elliott. He came through with the wild crop top. Peek-a-boo, little. That's his thing. Now that's branding. That's like...
Starting point is 00:03:53 He's like... Ending the Davis in the... I'm just... You have to have something. That's what he stands out for. Everyone's self-aware now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:01 If someone else came in with a crop top right now, would you be like, ah, crop top. You'd be like, you bit that. You'd be like, oh, crop tops be like right now jalen was both defensive of his 94 draft suit which was an all-time classic but at the same time i think he still kind of likes it yeah he does still apparently he's like half proud of it for the time yeah probably because he's thinking about
Starting point is 00:04:17 even though you look back now like oh this whack you have i'm sure he has fond memories for his chopper suit he's like i got i got six bjs in that suit you crazy i'm out here at the same time you're wild do you feel like athletes are too self-aware now i think so yeah like it's like fam like don't worry about like this is the thing like it matters like they have to be self-aware you know what i mean like because now like branding and whatever like before used to be like yo just ball you know i'm saying if you could ball you could be a wild asshole and it's still cool like you still get endorsements you can still do whatever like charles brockley was an ill dickhead and he got mad endorsements but you might get addicted to the attention i remember back in the days remember like derrick jeter and he had no like no one knew anything
Starting point is 00:04:59 about derrick you knew he went to the club he had a lot of women and stuff but he would never say anything really in interviews he'd give like these very short one-liners and stuff. You'd have to imagine what was going on behind closed doors with Derek Jeter. That's why when you heard the basket stories, you were like, possibly. But now you have Odell Beckham and LeBron. You have their whole day through Snapchat. You know way too much about them. I don't know if I like that.
Starting point is 00:05:20 I don't like that either. Personally, I like to pull back, but I think the younger kids, they grew up on social media. They feel that you've always had – they feel entitled to this access. They feel like athletes owe it to them to be like, yo, tell me what you're doing all the time. When you find out an athlete doesn't have social media, you're like, whoa, what's going on there? What was he up to?
Starting point is 00:05:37 I like when they shut it down for the playoffs as a sign that they're serious now. Yeah, I'm locking in, man. I'm going to my social media. I'm going to my other account. Every time LeBron tweets, it drains some of his body force. Now he wouldn't be able to pull off the block. He's like, 140 characters just took it from me.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Damn. Somebody subbed me. I can't make the tweet grow. It's so dramatic. It's like, yo, I'm shutting down my Twitter account. It's not like I'm changing into a paleo diet. It's like, yo, I'm just not going to press the bird icon on my phone. Wow.
Starting point is 00:06:07 That's kind of wild. Joe DiMaggio looking down like, look at these punks. But it's funny because you know they're still on Twitter, bro. They're just on their little little burger account. They're on their private account. LeBron has another Snapchat. That's heading him to their sex. That's like LeBron spelled backwards, and he's just checking out everything.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Like, yeah. LeBron lames. The first year I worked with Jalen He pointed out the whole Like all this little subculture With social media With athletes Where they Like they'd land in Dallas
Starting point is 00:06:31 And some would be like What's up tonight Dallas? Like that would just be the tweet And he's like They're doing that Because then they want people To start DMing them Oh you're in Dallas?
Starting point is 00:06:40 Yo yo Come to the strip club Yeah come to the strip club When we touched down We said those We understand the game now. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:46 What up? Oh, come out to, oh, you're in town, Wink Wink. You're like, all right. Come to this. What's up today, Houston? Or even better, like, yo, if they have a verified account, and then you get into a conversation with another verified account on Twitter, that's like, yo, you got favorite friends. Like, yo, we're like, yo, we're in LA.
Starting point is 00:07:02 And then like, YG be like, yo, pull up, little homie. And he's like, I don't know YG, but you you know it looks good for the timeline so as well it's all smoking mirrors man yeah i think it's gotta be so much easier i just come to la like yo i'm in la light it what's up you know what i'm saying holla at me that's not as impressive but yeah that's like yo i got the yeah you do that and like we like, yo, I got the y'all deck. You do that, and like, we're on Skid Row sharing a blunt with five other kids.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Is that what you want to do? I want to connect with the people, Bill. Well, what's changed for you guys in the last year? Because you're more successful than you were a year ago. I bought a house.
Starting point is 00:07:34 You bought a house? Yeah, my kids got a yard now. I got a lot more sneakers. Amazing. A lot more sneakers. A lot more sneakers. Oh, God. I got easily over 200 pairs
Starting point is 00:07:42 of sneakers right now. I'm a sneaker head. Like, I'm trying to catch up because I didn't have sneakers before I was on TV. And that's my one vice now. I don't have kids or a house or anything like that. But I'm trying to move out here to L.A. though. Four kids? Yeah, I got a six-year-old, a three-year-old, actually about to be four-year-old, about to be a two-year-old, and a couple of weeks old.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Still smells fresh out the box. You know what i'm saying and my daughter too so like i have three boys and i got a daughter like now i'm good i'm super chilling cross them off it is it's he i was i had the daughter first and the son i was totally ready i was like two girls would have been great out of it but it is fun to have one of both because it's a completely different experience totally it's like playing it's like playing a war video game versus a sports video game. I have an excuse to not change diapers.
Starting point is 00:08:28 I'm like, I don't even know how to do this. What do you mean by front to back? What's the front and what's the back? I don't know how to do this. Dude, you got to take over here. I can't do it. I would have bragged about that. So once you go past two kids, you might as well just have nine.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Because at that point, you're just flailing anyway. Well, that's the thing. People that have one kid or people that have no kids, I'm like, oh my so stressed out i'm like fuck out of here and people have one kid i'm like yo one kid is just having like a friend yeah that's a mess you know what i mean like you have a friend that's just like a drunk or something and that you always got to be on top of them to be like yo make sure you're here did you eat something like are you okay do you got to go to the bathroom like that kind of like terrible friend is like having a small child yeah you know i'm saying but that's still easy because it's two of you against one you know i'm saying but then when you have two kids it's still not that hard because
Starting point is 00:09:11 it's one-on-one three or more is when you get into the hardship because it's like bro like now it's like one of them could slip slip away you know what i mean and break down your field for like a 40 yard catch well three you're just yeah you need help you need need help from from the parent guys. So that's why I'm trying to get rich to get like nannies and stuff. But I'm Dominican so I got aunts all over the place and they're always coming through
Starting point is 00:09:29 and like my mother-in-law is like five minutes away so I'm chilling. So who do you have to catch up to on sneakers? No one. I don't have to catch up to anybody on sneakers.
Starting point is 00:09:38 There's always somebody else who wears sneakers. No there's some people out there. No because that's the thing I'm not my collection is not necessarily like I'm not trying
Starting point is 00:09:44 Competitive? I don't have a competitive collection. I actually wear all my sneakers. Like if I buy a pair, I'm wearing them usually for the next week. You know, they have some good LA places. I mean, LA, that's one of the secret LA places.
Starting point is 00:09:52 I've been to the sneakers store. Shout out to KISS, shout out to Flight Club. Tommy knows where those places are. Yeah, I mean, listen, I just love the feeling of, because you know, I order the sneakers
Starting point is 00:10:00 and you don't know when they show up and like I'll come home from like recording the show and there'll just be a box in my living room or like in my front door and like that feeling of opening them
Starting point is 00:10:09 and it's like yo these are my sneakers I can afford them and I'm not going into debt buying them like that's my that's the one thing I got going on
Starting point is 00:10:16 is my sneakers now that I've been to LA and I've been eating avocado toast and taking brunches and now listen it's changed
Starting point is 00:10:22 now like people like Pharrell and them was like we gotta come out here now I'm serious like I always thought you know i'd just be in new york but i might be coming i might be out in the lane with y'all out here you know be bi-coastal on the go on the plane with no socks on my eezy's be bad and obnoxious we're not in dayo he just likes to chill in his house like that's what he loves i want to have a nice a house that's big enough and has everything that i want there so that i just want to have a nice house that's big enough and has everything
Starting point is 00:10:45 that i want there so that i could just got to leave to do other bullshit he's gonna be like the will bond steven a where every time you do the show it's a split screen i want to do the derrick jeter trump tower apartment and i just use it to charge my phone and smash chicks and i'm never there that's it everyone's like why do you have a 4.5 million dollar account I'm like don't worry about it I don't like don't go above 59 cent stop judging me
Starting point is 00:11:07 stop judging me so how'd you guys meet I don't know the story I deliberately didn't do research for this that's good that's how we do our show isn't it better
Starting point is 00:11:15 it's like a surprise you're like wow you have to follow some list of questions Wikipedia and shit well it's like you know how like we
Starting point is 00:11:21 in some school in the Bronx is set up in a way where it's a magnet program you don't necessarily go to the Bronx Is set up in a way where It's a magnet program You don't necessarily Go to the school That you attend
Starting point is 00:11:27 You go to a school A central area School where All the kids in the area Go to that one school For summer school He went to that school I didn't go to that school
Starting point is 00:11:34 But I went there For summer school So we knew of each other In that In that area You know what I mean But he has his crowd I have my crowd
Starting point is 00:11:42 Whatever But we didn't really hang It was just like I knew of him Like you know That whatever You know what I'm saying That type of shit Fast forward to the internet You know what I mean but he has his crowd i have my crowd whatever but we didn't really hang it was just like i knew of him like you know that whatever that type of shit fast forward to twitter you know what i mean and we are interacting a lot on twitter because we're we've so what year is this like oh seven oh eight oh nine like oh nine oh ten because we both have really shitty jobs but we actually jobs the same time as twitter has just come about so that was back when twitter
Starting point is 00:12:01 was more of a diary than like interacting with. So we were just live tweeting our days. And every now and then we'd tweet about the same thing. That's something that happened very Bronx specific. And we didn't have that many followers, but we knew our followers and stuff. And they were just like, yo, you guys have something there. Because we can go back and forth for a bunch of tweets like we do in real life. But this is on the internet. It's not in real.
Starting point is 00:12:23 The thing that's crazy about you guys is you guys seem like you've been together for 25 years right it kind of understand that part it's the similar upbringings and then the and then basically like the digital reps of of twitter you know what i mean because then when we jumped into the podcast the initial podcast it was just kind of like at first it was a little shaky whatever but then it's like immediately it was like all right this, this is something. We just didn't know to the heights that it would go. The familiarity is such an advantage. I've had that with a couple different people
Starting point is 00:12:53 where when you know the little touch points, you just set them up, you just throw in an alley-oop and they go. That's when you get to the next level. Because you could definitely tell it's authentic. It's not like some studio wing thing where it's like, yo, you two have a show together. Then it would have worked. Then it would have worked.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Then it would have worked. The danger is you don't want it to become karaoke, which isn't a problem for you guys, where it's like, oh, A5, do your rant on this. Right, exactly. Here's another of that. We don't write anything, and it's just like, you know,
Starting point is 00:13:16 this is all off the dome. So it's very organic. And if you follow what's going on, you can see the jokes developing. Like, if you've been following us this week, we have a lot more L.A LA jokes than we did last week. We didn't experience shit. Now we can name places.
Starting point is 00:13:29 We can make jokes about the 405 and Lake Cucamonga or whatever. You know? And Erewhon. Erewhon. Erewhon, yeah. Donuts sold Erewhon. Is that just Whole Foods? That's like Whole Foods for people that scoff at Whole Foods.
Starting point is 00:13:44 I bought coconut cream, coconut oil cream for my beard there for $18. Got no receipt, no bag. Every person that has ever taken me there has worn Clark's Desert Boots with no socks. That's the person that's taken you there with like a weird hat. From a scenery standpoint,
Starting point is 00:13:58 there's never been a better looking collection of grocery shoppers than Erewhon. It's beautiful. My little horny nine-year-old son, we went there two months ago, he's like, Dad, are these actresses? Who are these people? It is amazing. It's beautiful. My little horny nine-year-old son. They all look like Farrell's personal sister. Dad, are these actresses? Who are these people? It is amazing.
Starting point is 00:14:09 It feels very Truman Show. They're nice, healthy food. It feels Truman Show. Every time you change an aisle, all the extras scatter away, and they just put new ones in there. I'm like, everyone in LA can't be this hot. Look at the homeless people who are hot out here. It's very disturbing.
Starting point is 00:14:23 That's wild. I saw a homeless. They have Yeezys on. I'm like, yo, am I... What's going on here? I'm walking through Erwan like, yo,
Starting point is 00:14:31 I was like, I know there's only four members of Haim and I've counted 12 already in just this one aisle. You know what I'm saying? Isn't it three? Isn't it three?
Starting point is 00:14:39 There's three. There's Daniel and others. It's three. Shout out to Haim. Shout out to Squash. Shout out to Daniel, yo. But you guys can see what it's like
Starting point is 00:14:45 like the benefits of being out here right the weather's nice sports comes on earlier that's not a benefit that's the thing no you go to like
Starting point is 00:14:53 I'm the night time guy I like to even with four kids yeah we're so off with the playoffs cause we like living in New York you know like
Starting point is 00:15:00 everything starts at 7 maybe 8 o'clock I'm totally lost with the playoffs because my ritual is my kids go to bed at 7 o'clock. You know what I'm saying? So then it's your time after that. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:15:09 So then me and my wife hang out for a little bit, whatever. And then it's just like everybody evacuates the area. We go on lockdown. I roll several L's. You know what I mean? And then it's NBA TV time. You know what I'm saying? And then I'm tweeting also at the same time.
Starting point is 00:15:22 7 o'clock, you're going to the bar. Your whole night is built around a basketball game or a baseball game. Nothing better than like a Friday night Yankee Red Sox game in New York. Well, you should be good. And you go there. I put the Red Sox hats out for you. I want to fight your Yankee power. It doesn't hurt anymore.
Starting point is 00:15:39 It doesn't hurt me after 04. The Yankees are young and we're coming up. You know, the feud kind of. And we look sick. The feud's just not the same anymore I actually missed the feud I do too from 97 to 04
Starting point is 00:15:51 when they got Ellsbury I was like this is stupid when we won it kind of killed it I used to be the extra asshole Yankee fan
Starting point is 00:15:58 but I also would fight anyone who was like there was a better rivalry in sports than Red Sox Yankee I was like no way when it was at its peak as a yankee fan and as a dominican there was nothing that created
Starting point is 00:16:12 some more inner turmoil for me than when pedro threw don zimmer on the mound because i was like yo don zimmer looks like the most old racist white guy on the planet just like just optically yeah i'm not speaking on his character the first ku klux klan in 1916 the most racist guy on the planet just optically I'm not speaking on his character he ran the first Ku Klux Klan in 1916 he looks like the most racist guy in the world and then he came charging at Pedro
Starting point is 00:16:29 and Pedro just threw him like an infant like yo just get out of here that was like very that was touching but then I was like I was mad yeah he did
Starting point is 00:16:36 I was mad because it was like you know Yankees but at the same time I was like go ahead Pedro what I respected about the rivalry was
Starting point is 00:16:42 also my last name is Martinez and I hold on to this each team carried themselves like you knew there was a respect to the rivalry like if you, my last name is Martinez, and I moved on to the... Each team carried themselves. Like, you knew there was a respect to the rivalry. Like, if you went up to Fenway, like, everyone hated you. But it wasn't, like... It wasn't O.D., like, stupid. Like, there was a passion for it.
Starting point is 00:16:53 It depends on who you're talking to, pal. No, there was a passion. There was a reason behind it. I used to go to peanut shops at Red Sox fans. It was just, like, remember up until 04? Yeah, I think. Remember we had, like, what was it? 1849 or 18...
Starting point is 00:17:02 What was it? We used to chant that. 1908. 1908, yeah. I mean, it might as well... No, it was 1918. It49 or 18, what was it, we used to chant that. 1908. 1908, yeah. I mean, it might as well. No, it was 1918. It might as well have been 1849, though. And we were like, yo, y'all never gonna win.
Starting point is 00:17:11 Y'all are never gonna win. And then 04 happened, and then they won again. And when was the last time the Yankees won? 09? And now nobody cares. Nobody cares. Well, the thing that killed us was 03. Oh, that was Aaron Boone.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Get Grady Little, let Pedro win too long. Tie game, then Aaron Boone. I mean, that was when it was like, wow, I don't know if I want to follow baseball anymore. I went to dark places. Y'all came back in 04. That was, that was, that was, you caught us on the rack. I was actually involved with a girl who was from Dorchester. We were dating and she lived in Staten Island.
Starting point is 00:17:43 And during that World Series, I was mad smug. I was going to her crib and she was making food and I'm over there smashing and laying around burping. Looks like the Red Sox are going to lose again. Then every game it's like, y'all got one. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Then the ball slap. You know what I'm saying? I was just like, oh no. I felt weird. i felt weird he never said that weird no i wasn't even mad at that i was okay with that because i was like yo i was so to me in my head i was like whatever by any means yeah yeah yeah because in my head i'm like that's him thinking like yo fuck this like we're winning this game like i don't give a shit like we're not losing to red so no i kind of felt like at that moment it was like yo we're not losing to Red Sox. No, I kind of felt like, yo, at that moment, it was like, yo, we're done. There was a lot of moments over those four games. No, I mean, that's what A-Rod's thinking was, I don't care, I'm getting on base.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Like, whatever I got to do. I got you. You know what I'm saying? No, I still felt like, damn, this is, like, we have to cheat to get on base at this point. Like, we're just done. Because I was watching it in a bar, and, like, in my mind, I was starting to realize what's going on. And I was like, yo, should I even show up for game seven? And then this kid that had been sitting there for the whole series,
Starting point is 00:18:45 he was like, don't puss out and don't show up for game seven. I was like, I'm gonna be here. Watch my yanks and I'm gonna come back.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Third inning, game seven, he was like, you can leave now. I was like, fuck you. I respect it. Shout out to that kid.
Starting point is 00:18:57 I went to four and five. I could have gone to six and seven. I didn't want to go because I didn't want to be there if they lost. It wasn't even a nerve thing. It was like, I just couldn't imagine
Starting point is 00:19:04 anything worse than being there if it flipped flipped again you know it's and i had from a personal standpoint just so many bad memories in yankee stadium yeah that i just didn't like going there you know that was kind of glad they knocked it down the old one i know they still call yankee state it's not yankee state it's not the same place it's like the other place had ghosts and spirits and demons. I would lie. When I go to Fenway now, the feeling, I've never, because Fenway is Fenway. Fenway's always been Fenway.
Starting point is 00:19:30 Right. As a Boston guy, do you think they'll ever tear it down, will do whatever? Or do you think they'll just remodel it? The way it's located. First of all, it's a cash cow. And people come to see it almost like you would go to see the Grand Canyon or something. Even when the team sucks, people come in there.
Starting point is 00:19:49 But once they fix the seats, the problem is they build all these seats in 1920. They fucking face center field. The picture's over there and you're facing the center field wall. They gotta fix some of the seats,
Starting point is 00:20:00 but they've fixed a lot of it. They've changed it up. They can cram like 38,000 people in there, it's fine. You can also get glass out of it. Don't you wish up. They can cram like 38,000 people in there. It's fine. You can also get a lot of shout out. Don't you wish they didn't tear down Yankee Stadium?
Starting point is 00:20:08 No, I bet you don't. I kind of, yeah, that's true. They should have just fixed and lived where it was. A thousand percent. The new Yankee Stadium feels like a boring,
Starting point is 00:20:15 dying Florida mall. Yeah. It's just, and they try to upsell you at every angle. You got the Jimmy Bean batter's eye. Like, what the, I have to have three seconds
Starting point is 00:20:22 to get to that? That's lame. It's not, the old Yankee Stadium, as a kid, because I was born across me from yankee stadium one of the biggest highlights of the old yankee stadium was remember the ramps and you just had to go higher and higher and higher and then when you finally got to your seat that was the first time you saw outside and it's like the field the greenness of the field just exploded and you were like whoa the baseball diamond it was like a whole ritual well what about the top deck where it was like you straight steve you had enough beers you felt like you just tumble over to your dad
Starting point is 00:20:48 i would turn down those tickets because i'd be like yo dog i'm gonna get like vertigo no that was the beauty of it yeah that was the beauty i sat up there once wearing a bruins jersey celtic shorts and a red sox wow i went up there kill that i was so proud of myself i forgot what year was fan who had i'm not surprised he had he had on a leather jacket and had like the world a Red Sox hat. Wow. I did not get killed. I was so proud of myself. I forgot what year it was. I'm not surprised. He had on a leather jacket and it had like the World Series patches on it, but it was like a couple,
Starting point is 00:21:11 but it was like after 04, so it was still in my feeling. Violence was much more acceptable back then. You could go band-aids, you could do gays, you could do shit. Now Bob Lee comes in
Starting point is 00:21:18 on the outside and he's white horse. Do you know about the texting? You can text. You can secretly text security at yankee stadium now and have people ejected oh blow the whistle yeah and you'll like they'll text if you stand up while like the bases are loaded and there's two uh what two strikes the two uh three balls one two strikes oh yeah yeah they don't they'll be like sit down you can't do that it's
Starting point is 00:21:39 the new stadium is so whack they used to be able back in the day they used to be able after the sixth inning a lot of games you could get in for free. You know what I'm saying? I always thought, like, if you did this correctly, you'd have sections where basically anything goes. Yeah. Yeah, that's how. You'd be like, oh, it's section 15.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Good, good. I had to be ready. Not anymore. And then there'd be family sections and all that. But it's so fucking boring to go to baseball games now. I mean. It's boring and expensive. It's boring, it's expensive, and it's time consuming.
Starting point is 00:22:05 And you look at it, it's like this six-hour commitment now. You gotta go to the park. They gotta make it easier and they gotta make baseball cooler. You gotta stay in the box. You know what I'm saying? Every time I go, I look around
Starting point is 00:22:17 and two-thirds of the people are looking at their phones. Yeah. And they're all just like... Not paying attention. Yeah. I'm surprised more people don't get hit by a foul ball you can't even bring up even looking for liability
Starting point is 00:22:29 reason you can't bring an ipad into yankee stadium for that's probably a good idea that's a good reason but i mean people still have their phone and they have a wi-fi network so let's take a break the following is not an offering of securities private investments are highly illiquid and risky and are not suitable for all investors. Past performance is not indicative of future results. Securities offered to accredited investors through North Capital Private Securities member FINRA slash SIPC. Okay, it's hard to know where to start
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Starting point is 00:24:04 It was amazing I remember watching the World Series in 96 and that's really what solidified me like as like a Yankees fan for real because like I was
Starting point is 00:24:13 always a Yankees fan but it was like more casual but then like 96 watching Derek Jeter and Charlie Hayes catching that pop up like and those guys
Starting point is 00:24:20 Mariana Duncan all those guys like I was like yo these are my guys and watching them you know what I mean? It was like a different feel. And I'm starting to feel that now, though, with these younger dudes.
Starting point is 00:24:29 And they're doing the right thing. They should not try to trade any of these dudes. Yeah, I know. But you didn't like Manny, though? I like Manny Ramirez. But you said you love Pedro, but Manny was Dominican. That's the thing. The Dominicans always felt like Manny was their kind of black sheep.
Starting point is 00:24:44 You know why? Because this is a very this thing. The Dominicans always felt like Manny was their kind of black sheep. You know why? Because this is a very important thing. Dominicans from DR and Dominicans in New York, Dominicans in DR are called us, Dominican Yorks, like Dominicans who are from New York. So Manny is 100% one of those guys. Like hot dogger, you know what I mean? Like, yo, check out my swag.
Starting point is 00:25:02 I got this. Y'all ain't touching me. Like the confidence, the swag levels are, like, astronomical. And, like, Dominicans from DR are, like, a little more humble. You know what I mean? A little. A little. Just, like, 0.2%.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Just a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you've seen us in the World Baseball Classic. We're not humble. Yeah, yeah. You didn't win that, though. You know what I'm saying? Don't make me get my mic, Francesco, on about why the World Baseball Classic is not necessary.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's back in Jamaica. You know what I mean? The World Baseball Classic is not necessary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's back in Jamaica. You know what I mean? The guy runs fast. Jamaica's going to have Mark Marwards. I have to find a social cause. I'm going to have to get a Jamaican team together. I've got four years.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Susan Sarandon's going to help me. You guys win every sprint event. You have all the sprinting gold medals. You're good. Imagine how fast we could run the first. How many inside the park home runs are you going to see? That's going to be our thing. Usain Bolt's going to run down the first field line and just run straight through the wall.
Starting point is 00:25:50 You ever see the shortstop catch the ball at the outfield wall? Oh. It's going to be lit. Why do you think Jamaica dominated sprinting? What's your theory? I've heard all kinds of theories. We have a lot of wild dogs, so people are always running away from them. It could be that.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Also, we have very bad roads so it could it's probably safer to run than it is to drive have you had gladwell on your show malcolm gladwell no not yet but he knows of our show so this would be you should have him on and you should talk about this because he has cool super smart malcolm gladwell there is about this but one of them is like smart or is he like annoyingly smart no no he's smart he's cool he's yeah he's not like clay thompson he's gonna keep correcting me about shit like? No, no, he's smart. He's cool smart? Yeah. He's not like Klay Thompson. He's going to keep correcting me about shit like that. No.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Klay Thompson corrected you? He's an actually guy. He's an actually guy. Klay Thompson is an actually guy. Klay Thompson is actually. He's very actually. Because I remember after the playoffs and they had the, was it the Hollywood party? The Hollywood party. LeBron put the RIP 3-1 stuff.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Yeah. And he was like, rest in peace Klay Thompson. Klay Thompson was like, actually, I didn't die at all. So these cookies it was like, rest in peace, Clay Thompson. Clay Thompson was like, actually, I didn't die at all, so these cookies aren't valid. Like, I don't understand. If I was dead, I wouldn't actually be able
Starting point is 00:26:50 to see them, so pop the jokes on you. Like, we didn't die. We're still here. We're still here. We're here to play another game. Actually, that's a lie.
Starting point is 00:26:57 LeBron, your cookies are fake news. Yeah. Get out of here. Thank you. Thank you. Are you pro or anti-warriors? I'm like,
Starting point is 00:27:03 I'm kind of anti-warriors I'm still a Knicks fan that's why the playoffs I watch the playoffs but I'm not invested in it I had lots of Knicks questions for you guys why they're bad, what's the problem get us banned from the MasterCard Garden for life I like the playoffs
Starting point is 00:27:18 Dolan's like his little robot thing activated you guys are talking about let me get rid of this guy and asshole I love basketball It's going to happen. Dolan's like, wait, his little robot thing activated. Oh, guys are talking about the G.W.B. Let me get rid of this guy, an asshole. Yeah. Yeah, no, I love basketball. Like, basketball is like, I'm debating baseball is in my blood.
Starting point is 00:27:32 I love baseball. But basketball is my favorite sport to watch, period. It's the new American pastime. It is. It's the most fun sport to watch. It's the fastest pace. There's a lot of scoring. There's a lot of like, you know what I mean, moments in a basketball game.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Even in like a regular, boring-ass regular season game. You regular season game you know and it's the most interesting people yeah exactly like 20 out of the 25 most interesting athletes i would say probably 21 in america most of the players like there's something interesting to them it's not like baseball you're just like 64 players you don't know who the hell these people are they're like gang members in the warriors how the warriors each gang and then there's like the roller skating gang but that's like the basketball like Westbrook's his little Westbrook gang this little mustache brothers behind us yeah Harden's got his weird beard three-point gang it's dope that's why the playoffs to me in the NBA like even if the regular season is like ho-hum like and you know what the outcome is going to be coming into the playoffs like the playoffs are still dope because like
Starting point is 00:28:23 anything is possible yeah like really like you know like the Celtics about to get swept by Rijon Ronda who died three years ago exactly and Brooke Lopez's
Starting point is 00:28:33 black sheep brother Rondo's revenge and Dwayne Wade who's dead yeah and he's on the way of dunking on people's shit and Jimmy Butler
Starting point is 00:28:38 who's gonna get traded allegedly two months ago now he's killing it see cause it has all these subplots and Zipsik the German guy where'd he come from
Starting point is 00:28:46 Bobby Portis he sucked for two years and that's what happens look Bill you know this every year in the playoffs somebody performs so well
Starting point is 00:28:53 that they get a stupid contract the next year like the Delva Dover effect you know what I mean like that type of shit I'm so surprised we did not drive
Starting point is 00:29:02 the truck up to his house after last season that's definitely that's definitely a Nick move I feel like I'm so surprised we did not drive the truck up to his house after last season. That's definitely a Nick move. I feel like Phil Jackson likes scrappy guys with high motors. You know who Phil Jackson doesn't like? Mellow. Mellow.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Stops the ball. He stops his prehistoric triangle offense. Yo, it's so crazy. We believe in this triangle so much. We need to shoot some long twos. Did he really say that Chris Stapp shooting threes is cheap scoring? Yes, he did. Yeah, it's so crazy. We believe in this triangle so much. We need to shoot some long twos. Did he really say that Chris Stapps shooting threes is cheap scoring? Yes, he did. Yeah, he did.
Starting point is 00:29:31 That's not so crazy. Bro, why would you say that? That's when you're drunk at the bar and someone next to you is just walling. They say stuff like that. You just move your beer. Like, this is the guy. This is Phil Jackson. This is why Phil Jackson has security in Madison Square Garden. You can't take a photo with him or you'll be banned for life.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Is that true? Don't you get banned for life, though. I can't take a photo with him or you'll be banned for life. Is that true? Don't you get banned for life, though. You know Swapu? I'm not. All I got is a Knicks. You're just reporting. If they banned me for life, it would be like, I'll be the new Phil Rizzuto to the Yankee Stadium. It would be a whole movement.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Holy cow. Some of y'all are too young to get that reference. Go on Wikipedia. It's worth it. I'm also opening up the money store. Right. But you're a Celtics fan. You grew up a Celtics fan. So you know a lot about the Lakers because you study the team
Starting point is 00:30:09 that you hate the most. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Still hate the Lakers with every fiber in my body. Did you think that Phil was going to come from the Lakers to the Knicks and make any type of impact when it first happened? Not only did I not think it, I went on TV because I was on the ABC ESPN show that year, and I was the only one who's like, are we sure?
Starting point is 00:30:27 Like he's 69. He's going to be traveling back and forth. He's going to be going to Bulgaria to scout some second round pick. And he's going to study the Catholic. Why would he give a shit? He's made $150 million. We thought he was the Messiah. You wanted the savior and he's a connection to Bradley and to Buscher.
Starting point is 00:30:44 And oh, he's going to come. And it's like like red holtzman has appointed this guy and it's like it was all bullshit he just took a paycheck i never trust anybody who's like i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it i'm not oh 60 million for five years all right i'm gonna do it i'll do it like that was your red flag also i'm like why is he also is he scared because i'm like yo if you're talking like my whole thing with him was like, bro, if you're going to put these coaches in place and like puppeteer them and tell them what to do, whatever. Why not just come down and coach?
Starting point is 00:31:12 Right. Why not? You're Phil Jackson. You're in New York City. You can do whatever the fuck you want. You can make up some new rule where you just coach the home games. Do you want to tarnish your legacy as Phil Jackson? Yeah, you don't mind it.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Coaching the Knicks? That's what I'm saying. So then that to me says like, yo, Phil, you don't believe in your ability as a coach. Well, that's why he has Kurt Ramis as Phil Jackson robot. Yeah. You know what I mean. Coaching the Knicks. That's what I'm saying. So then that to me says, like, yo, Phil, you don't believe in your ability as a coach. Well, that's why he has Kurt Rambis as Phil Jackson Robot. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? He comes in and puts Rambis in there, and Rambis tells him what's going on.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Kurt Rambis is just, man. He's got no swag. Like, Kurt Rambis is literally the coach when you play NBA 2K17, and it's just animated. It's just like, oh. He's just a CGI guy. Pick and roll. Pick and roll. How many times, like, you have Knick fans at Knick games, just like they cannot remember the coach's name? Listen, man. He's just that? It's just like, oh. He's a big CGI guy. Pick and roll. Pick and roll. How many times do you have Nick fans at Nick games that just cannot remember the coach's name?
Starting point is 00:31:48 He's just that forgettable, man. Hold on a sec. Well, I'm worried for you guys unless they trade him for the Celtics. Unless they what? Unless they trade him for the Celtics, then I would be happy. But the worst outcome here is if they trade Chris Stapps.
Starting point is 00:32:02 Oh, yeah, absolutely. Because, well, he doesn't want to be here and he did to try and then it's like you just made this huge mistake and then Phil Jackson's gone in two years and you have Chris Dapps who's the greatest possible stretch five you could ever have. 7'3 guy who protects the rim shoots threes.
Starting point is 00:32:17 So you're saying that's the worst possible thing or is that basically what the Knicks are going to do? I would say that's the worst case scenario. The Knicks fans should I feel like be more active. Doing what? We can't do do. I would say that's the worst case scenario. The Knicks fans should, I feel like, be more active. Doing what? We can't do anything. Look, this is the thing. I'm talking signs outside the stadium.
Starting point is 00:32:31 That's the funny thing. Go look at the whole cover. I want all that shit. You guys should be the leaders. No, no, no. Listen. You guys should be the Silkwood slash Norma Rae. That's the thing.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Great reference. I remember as a kid watching that movie and them dragging her into the decontamination showers. I was like, what the fuck is this? You're going to the decontamination showers. And I was like, what the fuck is this? You're going to the decontamination shower? That's the thing, though, man. I shot the Jerry Ferraro. We talked about this on fucking Twitter the other day.
Starting point is 00:32:53 It's like, he's like, yo, what do I do? I feel helpless. As a Knicks fan, this is nuts. This guy's a unicorn. We could organize a protest. We could get people out on the street. Blah, blah, blah. It don't matter.
Starting point is 00:33:02 All James Nolan has to do is have one press conference and be like, if jesus and miro feel so strongly why don't they buy their own team yeah that's it done and done and then you're banned yeah you can't come to next year maybe the band maybe the pacers he would ban us from even getting access to msg channel what should the knicks do except no i have an idea but we have to do it together when when we're how old are you? 32 Oh yeah So I'm a generation older
Starting point is 00:33:27 But remember those old videos That they used to make in the 80s Like the musicians would get together Like We Are The World Yeah And then there were all the terrible We Are The World fans You gotta get all the Knicks fans together
Starting point is 00:33:37 And we gotta write a song About protecting the Knicks fans From trading Porzingis or something And just all these people and you guys are all rocking. We would definitely do it. That's right. And then James Dolan
Starting point is 00:33:48 will come out with Mo Dean is over there. And the next day we get the PR notice from Knicks organization with a cease and desist and a $25 million lawsuit for using the term Knicks
Starting point is 00:33:57 which is a registered service mark of cable business. And that's the beginning part because James Dolan then goes into his studio puts the Tupac
Starting point is 00:34:04 hit him up With a harmonica And just flames us With a kazoo solo In the middle That's why I fucked up Your playoff chant Yeah like
Starting point is 00:34:10 He's just playing a kazoo He's just Dolan Yeah It'll be terrible Is him in the Eagles In the middle With kazoos Can I tell you that
Starting point is 00:34:20 That's when I knew The Knicks would never prosper Under his regime When he started opening up For the Eagles Exactly I took my wife to see the Eagles. I don't know anything about the Eagles.
Starting point is 00:34:27 I'm a 30-something Dominican male. You know what I'm saying? I was going to say, you're probably not the demo. Yeah. The demo is like a Viagra commercial. Yeah, yeah. All I do is listen to French Montana mixtapes. But my lovely wife, who is a Jewish woman from New Jersey, is a fan of the Eagles.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Yo, I did not know I knew all the Eagles songs. The Eagles have good songs. They got mad songs. I wrote a whole column about the Eagles once when they had that great documentary that came out about they got so many songs I had no idea like because there's the vocal I don't know if they changed their vocalist like every 10 years or something but the guy sounds
Starting point is 00:34:54 there's so many different songs you know who doesn't have a lot of songs James Dolan yeah exactly and he was opening for the fucking Eagles straight shot so look this is the thing I knew the Knicks wouldn't prosper under him when I took her to go see the Eagles at the Garden, and he opened for them, of course. He's terrible.
Starting point is 00:35:08 And then when he finished his set, he was like, I want to just thank the Eagles for fulfilling my dream of this goofy dream of mine of opening for them here at Madison Square Garden. And I want to thank all you guys for helping me break a world record tonight. This motherfucker had everybody in the audience have a plastic kazoo. And then he brought out Carmelo Anthony, Amari Stoudemire, Hendrick Lundquist, fucking Mark Messier, Red Holtzman, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, my grandma. You know what I'm saying? And had them all play a kazoo.
Starting point is 00:35:40 And I was like, bro. To break the world record? Yeah, to break the world record. And I was like, yo. Can I just throw this out here? this is why we will never prosper. James Dolan, if us as Knicks fans make your album go platinum, will you sell the Knicks? Oh, my God. We will make every album you drop for the rest of your life go platinum.
Starting point is 00:35:55 You have our word as Knicks fans. You know how the Eagles thing happened, right? His best friend, or one of his best friends, is Irving Azoff, who is the Eagles manager forever, who got involved with Ticketmaster, who Dolan was also involved with Ticketmaster. So it's like a buddy-buddy thing. He has no business opening up for the Eagles. Come on!
Starting point is 00:36:14 I think he went out and hired some of the best blues musicians in the world who were just like, all right, whatever. Oh, you booked James Dolan instead of BB King's son? Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:23 All right, fine, sure. Why son? Okay. All right. Sure. Why not? Okay. So how does this play out? What's the next year for the Knicks? They trade Carmelo. I don't think that... This is the thing.
Starting point is 00:36:33 I think you just... Carmelo retires as a Knick, bro. And just like... Carmelo's not on the Knicks next year. You don't think so? No. No way. There's a 0% chance.
Starting point is 00:36:42 He's on the Clippers next year. Really? The Clippers? He's on the Clippers. For who? Just he's leaving? Or are we getting something back? I just have a feeling he's on the clippers next year really he's on the clippers for who just he's leaving or are we getting i just have a feeling he goes to the clippers blake goes somewhere else or okc or wherever and that's the move yeah that's how because the clippers got to shake things up too if they don't have it they've been together yeah they're like that couple that never got married they just stay together like they travel together all the time.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Their life is so great. What's going on? What's going on? You guys get married? Do you have any kids or anything? No? Never? It's been 10 years, guys.
Starting point is 00:37:12 That's the thing that I feel like nobody ever talks about because you got Doc Rivers, who's like a great coach. Chris Paul is like top five point guards of all time. Blake Griffin. All this. DeAndre Jordan, number one rim protector and blah, blah, blah. And they never go anywhere. Right.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Chris's State Farm. Bad luck. Chris's, blah. And they never go anywhere. Right. Crystal State Farm. Is it because – Is it Crystal State Farm? Bad luck two years ago. Okay. When they blew that Houston game. I guess it's not bad luck because they choked. But that series was over.
Starting point is 00:37:34 I was at that game. It was done. Harden was sitting on the bench. He's pouting. They're down 20. They put in Josh Smith. Josh Smith starts making threes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:42 All of a sudden, the crowd got scared. Who told Josh Smith He could shoot threes Was that you Yeah The only time he ever made them In his life Corey Brewer's making threes Like it just flipped
Starting point is 00:37:52 And that was You know their chance Sometimes with sports Like you just That one thing goes Why do you think Everybody hates Blake Griffin Who plays against him
Starting point is 00:38:00 Why do NBA What is it about Blake Griffin That the NBA opponents Love messing with him Knocking him down? I feel like he's pretty. And he came out the gate like, he's doing the kind of SNL-y. He's very Drake-ish.
Starting point is 00:38:13 The light-skinned, very multi-faceted. Hey, I'm in front of the camera. He's a little bit of jealousy. You know what I mean? He's like a pretty guy. You've seen him be on SNL, but he's done sketches and comedy stuff. And you're like, wow, this guy can do stuff. He does stand-up comedy. Yeah. And he's a big guy. But at the same time, you know, he's done sketches and comedy stuff. You're like, wow, this guy can do stuff. He does stand-up comedy.
Starting point is 00:38:26 He's a big guy, but at the same time, he's like a light-skinned guy. You're a ball of his life. These guys are like Steven Jackson type. Ball of his life, motherfucker. They got a basketball, flaming tattoo. Also, he did the Kia commercial way too early. They had him doing goofy stuff.
Starting point is 00:38:40 People were just like, look at this clown. LeBron's Kia commercials are very much low. I'm LeBron here's a Kia when he was when he did a Kia thing he was a superhero hey I'm flying in outer space
Starting point is 00:38:50 I'm in a Kia I have an astronaut holding on people in the locker room was like yeah you got 20 mil for that but you know you're dressing up
Starting point is 00:38:55 like a superhero fucking cornball you ain't gonna see me in no motherfucking astronaut suit that's right unless I'm Russell Russell wearing it to the post game
Starting point is 00:39:03 it's amazing how many commercials That they fuck up Yeah Where you just wonder like What's going on What was the Remember the Kevin Durant one Where the guy was in the tree house
Starting point is 00:39:12 And he was like having a dream For Sprint And Kevin Durant was like Hey And the guy had like The weird slip He was like No cause you're in a dream
Starting point is 00:39:19 Yeah The good one they had Was the Kevin Durant one Where the husband Of the lady Transferred to Kevin Durant And she was husband of the lady transformed into Kevin Durant. She was like, I know some things I want to do with you. That was wild.
Starting point is 00:39:29 I don't understand the State Farm ones where they just made the Clippers look like a bunch of dumbasses. Yeah, that was terrible. They had something cool with the initial Chris Clifpole thing. And it wasn't that well. Way too much. He did too much. The Steph Curry.
Starting point is 00:39:44 I thought it would be funny If they would have did Steph Curry and Seth Curry Yeah Like the actual Seth Curry Like yo at least do something different But not We're just gonna put a mustache
Starting point is 00:39:52 On this guy We're gonna put a mustache On Sue Bird That would have been so much better You know what I mean I saw when I I went to see Fast 8 The other day
Starting point is 00:39:59 And they ran like a Three minute Adidas commercial Before it And Kareem was in it Wow Kareem wore Adidas It was all these Different random people And it was like a three minute Adidas commercial before it. And Kareem was in it. Wow. Kareem wore Adidas? It was all these different random people. And it was like typical Adidas, like cool street and all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:40:11 And Snoop Dogg's in it. Just these random people. Yeah. But Kareem was like the legendary basketball player. And they used him like he's almost like this Buddha. Yeah. And I was like, this is actually pretty effective use of Kareem. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:22 See, he's now 70 years. Kareem is my least favorite athlete of all time. Least favorite? But he's the best. He whistled an elbow at Larry Bird. Didn't you give him number one in your basketball book? I had him third. You had him third?
Starting point is 00:40:33 Who was number one? I had MJ, then Russell. MJ, then Russell? Kareem third. I was furious. You thought he was going to say Bob Cousy? Yo, did you see that guy on Twitter who was like, Kyrie Irving couldn't hold a candle to Bob Cousy? Well, that gets, yeah. It's tough to compare eras. Yo, did you see that guy on Twitter who was like, Kyrie Irving couldn't hold a candle to Bob Cousy?
Starting point is 00:40:46 Well, that gets, yeah. It's tough to compare eras. Like, yo, come on. That's a very nuanced take. Yeah, it's tough. Like, come on. Like, I understand the respect for the game, but they were playing a totally different game. Well, that's why when I was, I'd spent like three years working on my book, and I had a friend in NBA Entertainment, because this was pre-YouTube.
Starting point is 00:41:03 So it's really hard to find any video of these guys from the 50s, 60s, 70s. So I got all excited. He had one of the Wilt games. It was like Wilt against the Knicks. I'm like, this is great. I can't wait to see how great Wilt is. And it was the equivalent of if you put DeAndre Jordan against a ninth grade
Starting point is 00:41:19 Jewish YMCA team or something. It was unbelievable. It was like a Free alone Hebrew school versus fucking versus DeAndre Jordan. It was like a commercial. And I'm like,
Starting point is 00:41:31 oh my God. Like, of course he should have had 78 points. He was five inches taller than everybody. Listen, I'm telling you, I used to work in a junior high school
Starting point is 00:41:39 and the first kids that I was assigned to were sixth graders just because it comes fresh out of fifth grade. They're like 10, 11 years old. I used to go in the gym and dominate. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:41:48 Right. And that's exactly what Will used to do. You know what I'm saying? I love how you said dominate the way LeBron was like, yeah, I dominated. You know what I'm saying? I'm a weird dude with like cock back layups. It's a step back. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:41:57 The other thing is the league shifted in the 60s. So all of a sudden the black stars started taking off. Yeah, Dr. J's and all those guys. But they still had it so that every team could only have one or two black guys because they were still so racist back then. They knew what it was. So these guys are still just crushing it. And then finally, the league started to get blacker and it just became what it became.
Starting point is 00:42:16 But you had Oscar and Elgin and Will and Connie Hawkins. They wouldn't even let in for eight years. Yeah. Right. But yeah, I was stunned by that. I was stunned by Oscar. Like just the high dribblebble just physical backing dudes down and it was like these little prototypes of people that were gonna come all these years later you've seen the westbrook commercial with oscar nah well they keep the triple double he's passing him it's fucking cool oh wow i haven't
Starting point is 00:42:40 seen that yeah i hated the triple double all the time on nba tv if you have it by the way did you guys like the triple double thing or no just They run it all the time on NBA TV, if you have it, by the way. Did you guys like the triple-double thing or no? Him getting the triple-double? Just like that people made that the basis of their MVP case. I mean, like, I was, like, look. Like, I wouldn't want to be an MVP with no ring. That seems kind of like. People, but look.
Starting point is 00:42:56 We're not getting out of the first round. Yeah, like, that's tough. That's tough, but it's like still. That hurts more. But, like, people will slob MJ's knob all day about the stats and this and that. And he was the dude like I read cause I read Jordan Rules and I read like
Starting point is 00:43:09 yo he would go to the scorer's table and be like yo how many more assists do I need to get like a triple double like he was like a dude that was like
Starting point is 00:43:14 checking on his stats but why was he checking on his stats cause he probably got like bets on his he's like yo he's like yo Scotty he's like yo Scotty
Starting point is 00:43:22 it wasn't a work day he's like yo he's like yo yo yo Scotty Scotty I bet you yo, Scotty. It wasn't a work day. He's like, yo, I got a couple of spray tickets. He's like, yo, yo, yo, Scotty. Scotty, I bet you're punk ass. I get 12 assists tonight. I bet you're bitch ass. I bet you I do. Nigga, we play the back 18.
Starting point is 00:43:32 It's good. You thought you was going to keep that 50 from the back nine last week? Ha, hell no. You see this hoopie right? This mic. MJ takes no losses. Now watch me. You crazy?
Starting point is 00:43:38 I'm going to do a free throw with my eyes closed. Yo, you know what I'm saying? Because that's the type of dude. Yo, I have the undyingying Like it will never go away Like my Mike Jordan Like I've never met That dude a day in my life Yeah
Starting point is 00:43:49 But I know who he is Yeah You know what I mean Like I have Michael Jordan in my brain I know who he is We should one day do a movie About what it's like
Starting point is 00:43:55 Growing up In the shadow of Michael Jordan Was Freddy Krueger to us Yeah He was a villain We grew up in the 90s Watching the 90s
Starting point is 00:44:03 Nicks who was like Get decimated By this fucking asshole With his tongue sticking out, taking off from the free throw line. What the fuck is this guy? Like you said, you're a generation older or whatever, but you're watching this with a different set of eyes. I'm watching this as a kid.
Starting point is 00:44:16 These guys are my heroes. We revered Jordan because he was the first cool guy we ever had to root for. His shoes were cool. His commercials. Did you ever think that he could be defeated? Because as a kid, I'm like, yo, the Knicks will never beat Michael Jordan. His shoes were cool. His commercials. And did you ever think that he could be defeated? Because as a kid, I'm like, yo, the Knicks will never be Michael Jordan.
Starting point is 00:44:28 I hated Jordans as a kid. They were trash. I hated Reggie Miller. I hated Tim Hardaway. You forget though, for three, four years, it was like, he doesn't know how to win yet.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Jordan? It was like the stupid media there. It's all great, but he doesn't know how to win. He's not like Magic and Larry. What was it like? I don't know how to win. It was New York. He doesn't know how to win. He's not like Magic and Larry. Was it like that? I don't know how to win. It's like, hey, he doesn't know how to win because his teammates aren't good enough yet.
Starting point is 00:44:48 And then his teammates got better. It's like, yeah, he knows how to win now. That's what I'm saying. It's so funny to me because I'm like, yo, every time people bring up these arguments about Michael Jordan, it's like he came in the league and immediately started dominating and they won the bajillion championships. I'm like, bro, that's not the story. He came in the league and they stuck for a while.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And he had to get his dudes to wear it. The league was also really good. And then, like, yo, he dropped 60 against the Celtics. I was like, yeah, that's not the story. He came in the league and they stuck for a while. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And he had to get his dudes to wear it. The league was also really good. And then he dropped 60 against the Celtics. I was like, yeah, and they lost, dog. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:45:11 And it was a double OT, too. The game before was actually more impressive. I think he put up 49 in regulation. His stats were better. Against who? The Celtics. He put up 49 and 63 in the first two games. But wasn't Larry washed at that time?
Starting point is 00:45:23 No, no. That was height of the legend that's when they had the game remember one of the most iconic video games ever oh yeah Jordan vs. Bird you could shatter the backboard
Starting point is 00:45:31 and the custodian came out I went to the game when he fought when he fought Doc I was at that game oh wow I mean you want to talk about passion
Starting point is 00:45:38 I don't like imagine Oprah fighting Michelle Obama wow like in your 10 feet away oh my god Oprah's punching Michelle Obama
Starting point is 00:45:47 what's happening I don't know I wouldn't even record that I would try to bring I'm like you're in Russia man I'm like you can't put this on Oprah
Starting point is 00:45:54 we gotta get assassinated Oprah get off her get in here remember that's what it was like don't tape this we're gonna get assassinated I thought people phoned out their hands
Starting point is 00:46:01 we were so shocked cause Dr. J was like royalty like he was the guy and then Bird was the up and coming guy all of a sudden get assassinated we were so shocked because Dr. J was like royalty like he was the guy and then Bird was the up and coming guy all of a sudden they start punching each other
Starting point is 00:46:10 and Barkley and Malone come in they're holding Bird from behind and Doc's like punching him it was it was scarring
Starting point is 00:46:16 emotionally but anyway the Jordan thing I see your pain the Charles Smith block so I don't blame him because I feel like he got fouled on three of those four I see your pain. The Charles Smith block. So, I don't blame him because I feel like
Starting point is 00:46:28 he got fouled on three of those four. I feel like that too. They have that under the basket camera and Pippen's just like whacking shit out of him. I think that made it hurt more
Starting point is 00:46:36 because you saw that and I was a kid and I didn't know all the rules of basketball. I was like, yo, we're going to get a foul for that? And all the Knicks fans are like,
Starting point is 00:46:43 Charles, you got to dunk it. You're 6'11". It's like, Jordan's the best player to get a foul call there? And all the Knicks fans are like, Charlie, you got to dunk it. You're 6'11". It's like, Jordan's the best player of all time. Pippen's probably one of the five best defensive players of all time. Both of them are jumping up. Whacking them in the face. It's like a three-inch height difference for Pippen.
Starting point is 00:46:54 Well, I mean, that's the beauty of New York fans. New York fans go by their guts, not necessarily stats or athletics. Just spent one weekend, just spent one day listening to WFM, Mike Francesa. This is the two, the things that people call in and the trades they want to make and stuff. They're like,
Starting point is 00:47:09 oh, I'll give you CC Sabathia for fucking... Mike Trout straight up. What do you think? What do you think? I'll hang up and listen. And he actually was like,
Starting point is 00:47:16 oh, you got to... He has potential upside. Like, no, nobody wants you. Hey, Mike,
Starting point is 00:47:20 first time, long time. Not that CC is my guy, but... First time, long time. I think Derek Jeter should take over for Joe Girardi
Starting point is 00:47:25 I'm gonna hang up and listen what do you think what do you think what do we say we trade Melo for LeBron straight up you take that deal
Starting point is 00:47:31 what world Francisco Nunes is like first of all I don't watch basketball because they're all black I don't like it Steve bring me another
Starting point is 00:47:39 Diet Coke please the world baseball classic is a lie why are those brown people we're not working for this it's terrible it's terrible it's too many Latinos
Starting point is 00:47:45 Are you guys old enough to You must have listened To Mike and the Dog right Yeah Yeah a little bit Yeah I remember Do you remember Corey Lytle Yeah
Starting point is 00:47:54 The Yankee pitcher Yeah yeah After he lost That playoff round Right He called in to Mike and the Mad Dog And they were like
Starting point is 00:48:01 What are you doing He was like Oh you know He had just gotten traded With Bobby Abreu From Philly And he was just enjoying The sights of New Dog. And they were like, what are you doing? He was like, oh, you know, he had just gotten traded with Bobby Abreu from Philly. And he was just enjoying the sights of New York City. And they fucking ragged him.
Starting point is 00:48:10 How dare you enjoy New York City after you just lost in the playoffs? Like, you shouldn't be. And he was like, yo, my family just moved here. We're just walking around. That Friday, he flew the plane into the building and died. And I was like, oh. That's horrible. I was like, oh, so what?
Starting point is 00:48:24 And they did not cover it they just kept going oh my god listen i remember i remember mike ruthless media and then they have the the that one that everyone deadspin is looking for about the 9-11 tapes about supposedly they were like talking they had some wild conspiracy jewish theory whoa but now at wfa it was like yeah the tape recorders didn't exist back then So Desmond is like Trying to do like A study to find out If anyone has any of those tapes
Starting point is 00:48:49 Yikes They think it might be Like a Streisand effect Kind of thing Where people were just Not no Was it Streisand? Is it Streisand?
Starting point is 00:48:55 Where people were just Kind of remembering Oh yeah I know What you're talking about The alternate reality Sinbad Kazem Sinbad was never in Kazem Well some people think
Starting point is 00:49:03 Hold on I have some Quick questions for you guys Yeah yeah hell yeah Let's do it Quick break to talk about Our long time buddies Sinbad Kazem Sinbad was never in Kazem Well some people think Hold on I had some quick questions For you guys Yeah yeah Hell yeah Let's do it Quick break to talk about Our long time buddies
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Starting point is 00:50:29 No, no problem. I just didn't want to forget about that. There's no flow, man. Kobe's Muse Cage. Are you familiar with this? His Muse Cage? You're not following Kobe's Muse Cage? Yeah, I've seen that hashtag.
Starting point is 00:50:38 I'm like, what is Kobe's Muse Cage? He did like an 11-minute thing on NBA Countdown. I thought it was like he went to France or something. I'm like, oh, Muse Cage. They were like puppets. Oh, Muse Cage. I really want was like he went to France or something. They were like puppets. I really want you guys to watch this at some point. It's this whole thing about it's a muse.
Starting point is 00:50:52 You have your light muse and your dark muse. And NBA... I can't even totally explain it, but NBA players have to embrace their dark muse to get to where they want to go. But as he's doing this he has puppets next to him
Starting point is 00:51:05 explain it or like you'll get a whole show out of the music don't forget Kobe had the Kobe system his series of commercials for Nike
Starting point is 00:51:13 was it Nike remember the one with Kanye that was like one of my favorite things he was like you have to embrace the mom but Kanye
Starting point is 00:51:18 Kanye was like who's this Kanye guy what the fuck are you talking about he's like what the fuck are you talking about yeah Kanye and a Kobe commercial Kobe's been doing this for almost 12 years where he decides on something. He's like, I'm going to push this.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Almost like how a rapper would. I'm changing my number and I'm going to push this. And it's always something really kind of weird. You know what I mean? Because he's weird. Yeah, it's never anything just like- He's weird, but he's very zen. I just remember when-
Starting point is 00:51:40 And he's a man of your own. Matt Barnes faked to throw the ball in his face. He never did. He never did. That was so bad. And that right there, I was like, he's on to something the ball in his face. He never did. He flinched. That was so bad. And that right there, I was like, he's on to something. So I respect the Mambo.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Yeah. And he was kind of. He did get punched by Chris Childs. He did. True. He didn't lose that one. Full-time moment in Nick's history. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:54 True. All right. He was in that night. He permed his afro. Yeah, he flinched for that one. Maybe he should have flinched for that one. But you're not. But those were angry punches from Chris Childs.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Yeah, yeah. You're not going to want to fight with a Nick. Yeah. With that photo shoot for Vanity Fair. That was winning the championship for Nick fans also, by the way. It was. We celebrate that. We just had some good fights.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Like the Greg Anthony, Doc Rivers. That was a good one. The Miami Heat. Jeff Van Gundy grabbing out to Zoe. Who did Mello fight? Was it... Marty Collins? Molly Collins.
Starting point is 00:52:20 That's when he was on the Nuggets. Yeah, he clapped Marty Collins. You know when you remember something in your arcade and then it's never as good as what you thought it was going to be? Yeah. When I was a kid, I watched this Knicks game. Ken the Animal Bannister. Remember him?
Starting point is 00:52:31 Oh, wow. He got in a fight with somebody. But the best NBA fights are when nobody's close enough to break it up for like three seconds. So it was like a behind-the-play fight. And they were just swinging. And then it spilled in the scores table. And I always remember
Starting point is 00:52:45 that as like Hagler Hearns and then I finally saw it on YouTube and it was like two seconds long. Ten seconds. You just blow it up
Starting point is 00:52:52 in your head. But they don't have those fights anymore. We actually talked about that on our show. Desus and Merrill, which you can watch on FightSlam.
Starting point is 00:52:57 The Serge Ibaka thing you talked about. Yeah. Which was kind of right. Nobody touched each other. Nobody touched each other. But then you got fights like Oakley used to
Starting point is 00:53:04 snuff everybody And they wouldn't even Like blow the whistle They just keep playing through I remember there was A Martin Luther King Matinee game And
Starting point is 00:53:11 I'm gonna take it back Who was a Perpetual virgin In the NBA AC Green AC Green Yeah tough label You remember J.R. Reid
Starting point is 00:53:19 Yeah AC Green went up for a dunk J.R. Reid Brought him down It was like a flagrant foul He brought him down so bad He he knocked out his two front teeth. And I was just like, yo, I've never seen a rough play like that. I think J.R. Reid got suspended one game.
Starting point is 00:53:33 That was the NBA back then. You look at some of the stuff that Pistons and the Knicks used to do to MJ and those guys. It was criminal. They would never allow that. They would never allow it. People would be brought up on felonies. Trying to undercut guys when they're in the air and stuff. Bro, I remember when it was the Nixon Bulls and Pat caught a steal and was on a breakaway for a dunk and Dennis Rodman straight low bridged him at the rim.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Right. And I was like, bro, you could have killed Pat just now. And it was just like foul on the play. Two shots. Two shots. I was like, bro, you almost killed this dude, bro, because he fell so awkwardly. And you know Pat, he's like all arms and legs. Gonky. He's like. I was like, yo. King of Jamaica. dude, bro, because he fell so awkwardly. And you know Pat, he's like all arms and legs. Gonky.
Starting point is 00:54:05 He's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, yo. King of Jamaica. Give him his respect. Shout to him. I was at the game when Parrish assaulted Lambert. He stayed in the game. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Just punching him from behind. Like, you just have like a 15-punch rule. Like, after 15 punches, they'll be like, all right, break it up. No, you can't do that, because there's too many entourages. Why won't LeBron just go bald? It's a pride thing. As a man, you have to, like, hold your hair line inine and your respect that's true yeah it's very big in the black community does your hairline gotta be strong okay i'm saying also they're doing incredible things
Starting point is 00:54:31 with stem cells my man right here he's keeping track of it we're gonna have to we're gonna have to just come out with bangs the bangs i would be like what's that girl zoe de chateau oh god it's gonna be so good is Russell Westbrook Happy that Durant left Um I think so I think he is But then like Imagine if the three of them
Starting point is 00:54:51 Like Harden, Westbrook And Durant Could have stayed together I can see fans get mad at me Cause I've been bringing it up For five years I bring it up too I'm like
Starting point is 00:54:58 First of all I'm like Okay I don't know that much About like You know Salary caps And all that stuff But I'm like
Starting point is 00:55:03 Is it really impossible To keep the three of these Two's together No It wasn't It wasn't very that stuff. But I'm like, is it really impossible to keep the three of these dudes together? It wasn't. It wasn't very possible. You know what I'm saying? Like, why would you do that? I just remember that Russell Westbrook,
Starting point is 00:55:11 now I do what I want. It reminds me of when you break up with a girl, you're like, yo, I need space. Like, I'm tired of following your rules and stuff.
Starting point is 00:55:18 And then there's that one day you're in the living room. After two weeks, you're like, oh, I gotta do my laundry. But now it's just like, I mean, all the triple doubles, that's proof. Listen, he's got the ball more, but it's just like, oh. He messed up. I got to do my laundry? But now it's just like, I mean, all the triple doubles, that's proof.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Listen, he's got the ball more, but it's just like, to what ends? I feel like LeBron could have, if somebody had said, LeBron, it's going to be a huge deal if you average your triple double, I think he just does it. He could do it by accident. In 2009, he could have done that in his fucking sleep. And I always say this about LeBron, and I don't care, I'll argue to the death. LeBron James is the greatest basketball player I have ever seen, we have ever seen, ever, period. Like, physically, the game, the vision, the dude has every tool that you need to be a great basketball player.
Starting point is 00:55:56 And he has it on, like, 99. Like, you know when you play 2K, you throw the sliders all the way up to 99? He is all the way up to 99 on every slider. Like, I don't know what he can't do on a basketball court and also the best thing is he has never rapped he has never
Starting point is 00:56:10 tarnished his legacy with a weak verse every time you have a good rap every time you have a good basketball player Cedric Sabalis well Kobe had the
Starting point is 00:56:16 Tyra Banks All-Star Weekend he performed before the page I remember Allen Iverson the NBA was like yo you cannot release it I heard that album NBA was like Yo you cannot release it
Starting point is 00:56:25 I heard that album I was like yo Jules? Yeah Like mad homophobic Lyrics and stuff Allen Iverson? Oh yeah
Starting point is 00:56:31 I was the one where He almost got kicked Out of the league For a year That was wild He was doing a lot That's not happening again My man
Starting point is 00:56:38 You cannot drop Several F-bombs And by F-bombs I don't mean fuck Right You know what I'm saying? You can't do that 20 times on a record.
Starting point is 00:56:46 Yeah, you're right about LeBron. LeBron has done an amazing job of not embarrassing himself in any way. He really should be MVP. You never see LeBron marketing something. You're like, yo, you didn't have to do that. You never see him, like, dancing like a Kit Kat bar or something. Like, all his stuff is very, he moved very strategically. He didn't have his one year where it was obvious he was smoking so much pot, like he lost a step or like none of those.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Like he was hanging around with the wrong teammate. Or he had the stripper controversy. Like none of that shit ever happened. The worst you'll see from LeBron is like him sitting in his driveway listening to Future on the weekends. I like that little Knicks dig, messing around with the stripper Knicks dig. That was classy.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Real classy, Bill. Real classy, Bill. Classy move, Bill. Classy move, Bill. with the stripper next dig I was classy real classy Bill real classy Bill classy move Bill classy move Bill we're expecting this guy's I don't expect that this guy's
Starting point is 00:57:32 this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's
Starting point is 00:57:33 this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's
Starting point is 00:57:33 this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's
Starting point is 00:57:33 this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's
Starting point is 00:57:33 this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's
Starting point is 00:57:34 this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's
Starting point is 00:57:34 this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's
Starting point is 00:57:34 this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's this guy's We don't know for sure It was page six That's true Page six is very salacious TMZ is saying that Like she's a student
Starting point is 00:57:46 In Northwest University Who knows bro Who cares Like I'm My thing now That I'm like kind of Hollywood adjacent Or like popping
Starting point is 00:57:52 Like I'm looking at A whole different thing Like I'm looking at As a cautionary tale Like I'm not looking at it Like yo I'm gonna find out More information I'm like yo
Starting point is 00:57:58 What did he do wrong And let me not do this In the future Yo that's what I'm saying But like look If you are in the NBA, shouldn't your wife kind of expect
Starting point is 00:58:06 this dude's going to get his dick put on the side? She's a celebrity. She has no idea NBA players are like they are. Is that terrible to even say? I feel terrible for you. It is 100% not terrible.
Starting point is 00:58:15 If your girl works at a stop and shop, you can, and you're in the NBA, there's different rules, but if your girl is also on TV, if y'all go on
Starting point is 00:58:24 Getty Images and y'all both names are on the bottom You really can't be out there slaying wild dills or other day, but she was really like Yeah, but she was really like a wild like she was like a Rajah Rondo like second rounder Plan from 2000 Game plan to get a bowler was no different than LeBron's strategic advertisement endorsements. She got a chart and she was like, boom. She got him.
Starting point is 00:58:52 She's good. Coincidence that that was the name of the character and he got game? Ooh. Oh. Wow. Bill Simmons. Bill Simmons opened up third. Wow. The Stay Woke Podcast. But I'm saying like when he when Mello and Lala got together Mello was the alpha in that situation But then Lala was like a third tier MTV
Starting point is 00:59:18 But you can make the excuse you can make the argument that he wouldn't be where he's at now without her help But a lot of people say that because I'm sure if you went home right now and went to your wife like, yo, I did this all by myself. The way she hits you with a really nigga would make you a henchman. I mean, yo, listen. Shout out to Heather.
Starting point is 00:59:36 I love you. But like, you know what I'm saying? Clean up, boy. Clean up. Yo, like Rick Ross said, like, yo, you wasn't with me shooting in the gym. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:59:44 I mean, look. Honestly, look wasn't with me shooting in the gym. You know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, look, honestly, look, like, and I say this all the time. Like, it's very important, like, to have a dope partnership where your partner supports you and stuff like that. But, like, fam, like, you're doing the work. But you can't. If someone was with you when you were broke and now you're bringing in money, you can't be like, yo, the rules are changing. That's why my rules will never change. That's why I can't even fix my face to give my wife the Diddy 75-25 plan. Have you heard about this?
Starting point is 01:00:06 Where it's like 75% of the time, you'll be the happiest woman in the world. You'll get everything you need. You'll be fully supported. I'll give you my love and support. And then 25%, you're going to hear stuff that's going to make you upset. You know what I'm saying? But you just got to go with it. Only Diddy could get away with that.
Starting point is 01:00:19 You know what I'm saying? Diddy named that after himself? Yes. The 75-25 plan. It only works with Diddy. If your name is Walter or Clarence, go try that shit with Gloria, your wife. Bring home a steady $65,000 a year and tell her you're going to be treated like a princess. He could potentially do that because he's not with anybody now.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Whoever gets with him now, it's like, okay, now you're on TV, but whatever. I got with my wife years ago. No, no, no. See, he doesn't know how to move. You know what I'm saying? I'm trying to move upwards. I'm trying to knock up like Salon for somebody.
Starting point is 01:00:46 The only part that made me think that that story might have been true is the quote that Carmelo was saying, Lala is married and I'm not. That's too weird to make up. I've heard that. But that sounds like a goofy... I've heard people say that before,
Starting point is 01:00:57 but usually they're like party promoters. Not NBA players. Nah, that sounds like some lame like Ashley Madison template shit. Like, I don't... Like, I feel like he was out there probably moving around or whatever. He's an NBA players. Nah, that sounds like some lame Ashley Madison template shit. I feel like he was out there probably moving around or whatever. He's an NBA star. This is a shock.
Starting point is 01:01:10 That's what I'm saying. Unfaithful NBA star? I don't know. Let's wait until the DNA results come in. Let's go on Maury. All right. Is there an NBA star that isn't getting some on the side? That isn't getting some on the side? That isn't getting some on the side?
Starting point is 01:01:26 I'm going to go with the blind, no. The dude from the Spurs. The dude that's huge. He has the huge hands. Not Kawhi. Bogdan. He's on the business? Alright, cool. I don't think Steph Curry is getting...
Starting point is 01:01:40 I feel like Steph Curry and his wife are constantly around each other and they really genuinely enjoy each other's company to the point where he couldn't even get someone on the side if he wanted to. Those are the guys that are getting 28,000 BJs behind the scenes. No, because it's the logistics. Because they love being around their wives all the time so much. No, it's the logistics. Listen, there's a logistics thing about cheating. And it's just like sometimes it's not about opportunity.
Starting point is 01:02:01 Sometimes it's about, yo, your wife is always there. And you know some people's wives, if they're out the room for five minutes yo your wife is always there and you know some people's wives they can't like if they're out the room for five minutes their wife is like yo where is my husband but she's kind of feel get that feeling with it and also he looks like he generally would rather be around his wife and kids than anyone else i mean i would too but it's like you would too if you had a wife and kids i'm like that but i'm 47 i would also rather be around my wife and kids but it's like bro like you're a bajillionaire you know what i'm saying like the world is your oyster you know what i mean like not everyone thinks like that not everyone's a piece of shit you know what i'm
Starting point is 01:02:33 saying like i don't know he has a strong religious relationship with her family and his family is all things are possible through christ like okay listen if you love jesus you're not out here getting a side beach that's true i respect that this guy drinks one beer at 8 a.m. But I also have no kids and no wife, so that's fine. No one judges me. If I was to die in an alley in front of this lot, people would be like, he had a good run. Two-part question. Do you think NBA players use PEDs, and if they do, do you care? I think they might, but I don't care.
Starting point is 01:02:58 Before I answer that, I thought you said two-part question. I was like, what the fuck is he about to ask us? I'll come up with a two-part question. I think they do use PED And I don't care It's also like Baseball players using PED I don't care
Starting point is 01:03:08 If their home runs out the park Maybe that will save the game But football you would care Because somebody got hurt Boxing That's why I care more Boxing is different Because it's like
Starting point is 01:03:17 Bro you could die You know what I mean You can die It's like It's not You don't want to get guys to level Where it's like I can kill you with one punch
Starting point is 01:03:23 Like in boxing Contact sports Chill Baseball Basketball Soccer Like bro I don't want to get guys to the level where it's like, I can kill you with one punch. In boxing, contact sports, chill. Baseball, basketball, soccer, I don't care. Baseball is how the old school people got mad that the stats got fucked up. Yeah. Mickey Mantle's 350 triple crown. There's also a guy, you're a baseball guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:40 There's also a guy who said that Derek Jeter doesn't crack the top 10 Yankees of all time. Who said that? Some wingding on Twitter, but he's verified. He's like a verified sports writer. See, this is where stats go wrong. Because as a Red Sox fan, when Derek Jeter came up and there was a guy on second, I knew he was going to hit a single over the second baseman side to right field and get a run. And I don't care what the stats said. I was scared of that every time.
Starting point is 01:04:03 Every time. I was more scared of him than anybody else you had on the team you were the most scared of Manny on the red side absolutely Manny and Poppy Manny and Poppy
Starting point is 01:04:12 every time Poppy came to the plate I was like there was again that mixture of Dominican pride and feeling of dread like yo this dude
Starting point is 01:04:19 is going to smash the cover off the ball and knock in X amount of runs and the Yankees are going to lose so like damn I forgot what I was saying. You were talking about PEDs and baseball.
Starting point is 01:04:28 Right. I don't care about PEDs and baseball because it makes everything more fun and exciting. Like a pitcher's duel is dope. Yeah. But like, I'd rather see a game where like, you know what I mean? There's runners on base. Like some get stranded, some don't. Like I like offense in baseball.
Starting point is 01:04:41 It's just like sex. Most things can be made better with drugs, but until someone gets hurt. So it's like... This is a question from a reader that I just thought it'd be better to ask you guys. How crazy it is that people under 30 can quote way more Charlie Murphy lines than Eddie Murphy lines from Brandon and San Jose. Chappelle Show. Straight up. Chappelle Show.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Chappelle Show. Eddie was like the god of my childhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, when I was growing up, like, I wasn't allowed to listen to Eddie Murphy shit. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's the forbidden fruit.
Starting point is 01:05:11 Yeah, yeah. And it was like, yo, you can't listen to this, but he's mega famous. And he's everywhere. But like, so like, because I was, you know what I'm saying? So it's a little different.
Starting point is 01:05:20 But Chappelle Show definitely, I feel like, because people that knew comedy knew Charlie Murphy regardless. But the younger generation definitely got put on of him. So Chappelle is over Eddie Murphy for anyone under 30, basically. Yeah, because Chappelle's show came in. It's hard for me to accept.
Starting point is 01:05:35 But I know it's true. And I remember Eddie won. Eddie killed the game very early. He made a lot of money. And he was like, yo, I'm good. I don't have to do anything else. Now I'm doing Shrek. Eddie from 82 to 88 is basically MJ
Starting point is 01:05:45 from 91 to 90 it's the same thing he crushed it he saved SNL he came up with like several movie franchises that people are trying to reboot now
Starting point is 01:05:54 and shit so like all the stuff I mean like when Eddie would come back he'd do like Norbit like he didn't need the money for Norbit
Starting point is 01:06:00 he just did that for fun I feel like he lost his way yeah I think he got too famous he hasn't tarnished he hasn't come out and his like he hasn't come out and done like a really problematic special or anything he's just like not doing he had the last thing he worked on was a reggae album yeah that was wild i mean they listen deja vu it's what have you done lately the rick james skitch in particular really was it yeah because he really like charlie murphy was a
Starting point is 01:06:22 dope storyteller you know what i mean and like that story was so funny that like you can watch it a lot yeah chappelle dresses prince you know what i mean so there was so many things that came into it that like that sticks in the mind of like every millennial so eddie had the black actor championship belt in the 80s and then well denzel had it made for a couple years then will smith just takes it i feel like too like i feel like denzel's on another level, though, too. I feel like Denzel... Well, Denzel's had it forever, but who has it after Denzel? It's like when you talk about rappers,
Starting point is 01:06:49 there's Jay-Z, in terms of overall... You can't even compare him to anybody. Yeah, he's Jay-Z, and then there's everybody else. Yeah, you got a couple people, you'd be like, oh, Don Cheadle's next.
Starting point is 01:06:59 Yeah. I'm like, oh, damn. Make some noise. Damn, he did Crash 2. They gotta make more stuff. Denzel was always like The criminal Honestly I thought
Starting point is 01:07:08 The next guy up Was gonna be Michael B. Jordan I thought like He did Creed He would be my bet now Cause I think Creed Is standing in steam Not on my watch
Starting point is 01:07:16 He was on spot No There's only room For one thin Kinda like Shaped African American Kinda shaped
Starting point is 01:07:24 It's me it's me it's me and Michael B. Jordan man I'm out here in LA don't be run up on you and slap me are you against Michael B. Jordan or Creed
Starting point is 01:07:31 I'm against Michael B. Jordan this is the hottest take I've ever heard I'm against Michael B. Jordan I get Fruitvale Station I get it all I don't like that you know what it is
Starting point is 01:07:41 I love him this is why I don't like Michael B. Jordan I was with a girl when Creed came out and she was like yo look at his what it is? I love him. This is why I don't like Michael B. Jordan. I like him. Get this. I was with a girl when Creed came out, and she was like, yo, look at his. He has a similar frame to you. Like, whatever he did, it shouldn't be that hard for you to get that ripped. So I was like, all right, whatever.
Starting point is 01:07:53 And I Googled. I was like, Michael B. Jordan, muscles, Creed, workout routine. So I thought Clay was the MacBook. Like, fuck this. And I saw Sander, and I was like, he's on HGH. He didn't work out. Fuck that. It's all fake. He went to Dr. Miami. And that. And I saw Slander, and I was like, he's on HGH. He ain't working out. Fuck that. He's all fake.
Starting point is 01:08:06 He went to Dr. Miami. And that's why I beat Michael B. Jordan. Did she really say you guys have similar builds? She did. Shout out to her for being a tremendous liar. She gassed me. She gassed me. No, actually, no.
Starting point is 01:08:16 I got the soccer physique. You know what it is. You know what it is. Though, listen. If we take our shirts off here, only of Only one of our bodies Is impressing people Okay You look like you're wearing A light fur coat
Starting point is 01:08:30 Underneath your shirt The Oscars The Oscars The Oscars reminded me How famous Denzel is Cause when When Kimmel brought All those tourists in
Starting point is 01:08:39 And they only wanted They just gravitated to Denzel Denzel's like famous guy If he was sitting next to Leo They would've gone to Denzel They walked past all those guys Ryan Gosling There's Denzel Denzel is oneitated to Denzel. Denzel's a famous guy. If he was sitting next to Leo, they would have gone to Denzel. They walked past all those guys. Ryan Gosling.
Starting point is 01:08:47 There's Denzel. Denzel is one word. Just Denzel. If Denzel's in a movie, the movie no longer has a title. The movie becomes whatever Denzel was doing in a movie. So Flight becomes Denzel flew the plane on Coke. And he's always kind of Denzel in the movie. He might have different facial hair.
Starting point is 01:09:00 Training Day's the only one where I felt like he became a different guy. But what was the name of the character in Training Day? What was the name of his character denzel denzel exactly like flight he's like drunk pilot he's south american security guard denzel denzel has done a movie on every form of transportation people don't realize that he has the one on uh he was on was he on heretic yeah he was he was on that runaway train movie runaway train with like ryan gosling or somebody who's my answer i think He has the one on, he was on, was he on Humpf Riddick? Yeah, he was. He was on that Runaway Train movie. The Runaway Train one? With like Ryan Gosling or somebody.
Starting point is 01:09:26 Who's the other guy in that movie? Here's my answer, I think, for the question. Like if you're going to be stuck on a Desert Island, you can only have DVDs of one actor or actress. Oh, definitely Denzel.
Starting point is 01:09:34 Yeah, I'd probably take Denzel. Yeah. Because it's either, because Hanks is a decent answer too because he has a whole 80s library too that Denzel doesn't have. Hanks is good. But Denzel,
Starting point is 01:09:44 he lied. He lied like 100 hours out of Denzel.'t have. Hanks is good. But Denzel, he's like 100 hours out of Denzel. For real. Just watching him over and over again. Why don't I have Netflix? What's going on? What do you mean? What do you mean DVDs?
Starting point is 01:09:53 What's that? A digital video? Do you have to watch your entire movie? You forgot to pack the DVD player? You're like, fuck!
Starting point is 01:10:00 You're like shining a magnifying glass on him trying to play him with his son? Just reading the back of it to a coconut like, in this movie, Denzel has a plane. Oh, nice. to play him with his son. He's reading the back of it to a coconut like, in this movie, that's a plane. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 01:10:07 Way to your kids get older. It's amazing. My kids don't even use a remote control. They're just Netflix, boom, on demand. My three-year-old knows how to completely manipulate and turn on the TV, turn it to the right source, like HDMI 3,
Starting point is 01:10:21 pick up the Xbox remote, turn it on, scroll down to Netflix, hit that, go to the kids menu look through the whole shit there's no toggling anymore I watched my nephew
Starting point is 01:10:28 he's 3 and I watched him connect to the wifi and go on YouTube and watch an unboxing video and I was like wow that's huge
Starting point is 01:10:36 I've never seen how do people watch your show you think obviously they watch them on Viceland but do you think you get we get a lot of app internet audience
Starting point is 01:10:43 we get a lot of app a lot of internet most people don't have straight up cable anymore anymore i'm learning that the younger gender like you know like not to seem that creepy but some of the younger chicks i've messed with i've gone in the house and like all they got is roku they have no straight up cable and it's just like yo i just watch your show on the app which is kind of mind-blowing to me because i'm one of those people that likes to come home and flip through channels right and we're like roku and sling is not exactly the same but i love you being old channels i still love it i have every cable
Starting point is 01:11:08 movie channel yeah we have the what the direct to now it's the cable one the time warner here it's got like every hundred movie channels including epics which is kind of that's the one that shows creed all the time yeah i just like to go through and be like oh rocky four my cable bill just jumped to like 200 a month i'm like i be like oh Rocky IV my cable bill just jumped to like 200 a month I'm like I'm like yo I'm on cable
Starting point is 01:11:28 so I can justify having it but the average person read that shit off I feel yeah I write off all that shit but I feel like
Starting point is 01:11:33 I never feel it you guys are in the industry exactly yeah that's what my tax lady said she was like you're in the industry you gotta write all this stuff off
Starting point is 01:11:39 let me tell ya so we gotta go is your tax lady calling into Mike Francesco what's his name I don't know that was mic Francesco I don't know That was my Jewish accent
Starting point is 01:11:46 I don't know That wasn't even Jewish That was like A stereotypical 1980s Hot dog vendor It's like a Billy Crystal Yeah Harry Casale
Starting point is 01:11:54 Y'all have what she's having He is right Billy Crystal's Jewish right Really You had to ask If Billy Crystal was Jewish I don't like to assume No
Starting point is 01:12:02 I don't like to assume When you look in the dictionary Under Jewish His picture is there I don't like Performing a bris Like I don't like to assume. No. I don't like to assume. When you look in the dictionary under Jewish, his picture is there. I listen. I don't like performing a bris. Like, I don't like to assume things. Yeah, nah, like, shout out to him. I mean, like, you know.
Starting point is 01:12:13 Wait, we're wrapping up. So, last thing. Last thing. Things are going well for you guys. So, what has the next year play out? What do you want? What do you want to happen? This is wild.
Starting point is 01:12:20 We had a lot of attention. You're building your fan base. What's next? You know what? Movies, books, TV shows and stuff. Because we've been having meetings out here in LA. And everyone's just like, yo, the world's your oyster, y'all. We have so many projects we want to work in.
Starting point is 01:12:32 But we're still having fun with it. But that gets dangerous, though. Because you don't want to do too many things either. You don't want to do too many things. You just want to do the right things. And that's why shout out to Victor Lopez, who watches our stuff. And Christina Bess Degas. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 01:12:43 Christina. Victoria. You know what I mean? They all kind of put us in the right spot. If Tyler Perry was like, yo, Jesus, you're 60 mil, but you have to wear a dress. We'll do a couple of emails. I definitely would do it. But we'd go over it.
Starting point is 01:12:55 I was going to say, there's no way you're not doing that. I'm like, do I got to tuck or not? He's doing it. Tyler Perry's new movie, What If You Don't Love Your Co-Host. They're going to do Eddie 2. Remember the movie with Whoopi Goldberg? I'm going to have to dress in drag to Coach to Knicks. You know it.
Starting point is 01:13:11 I have a confession. I really liked Eddie. Eddie's a good movie. Eddie gets unfairly maligned as a boss. If you watch that movie, it's a beautiful snapshot of mid-90s NBA. There's a bunch of teams in it. John Sally's in it.
Starting point is 01:13:26 Dwayne Shintz's speaks in a Russian accent or whatever. Here, I'm predicting this right now. Malik Sealy. They're going to reboot Eddie 2 with Leslie Jones. They got to do it. They are. Look at that. Think about it.
Starting point is 01:13:36 Remember, it was the Knicks. That's a great idea. Leslie Jones is court-tied and everything. Watch. I want my wrong teeth. Yo, let's go. EP. I like that idea.
Starting point is 01:13:43 That's good. All right. Well, I'm rooting for you guys. Thank you, man. Thanks for having us on, man. This, EP. I like that idea, that's good. All right, well, I'm rooting for you guys. Thank you, man. Thanks for having us on, man. This is great.
Starting point is 01:13:47 We need to talk about Ride Home and save it for next time. Shout out to Ride Home. Yeah, shout out to Ride Home. He's the guy. He's a good dude. Thank you,
Starting point is 01:13:52 fellas. Thank you, man. Well, thank you, boys in the building. He's Tremont. Thanks to SimpliSafe.
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Starting point is 01:14:09 Offer just $15 a month. No long-term contracts. No hidden fees. Go to SimpliSafeBS.com today to protect your home and get 10% off. Don't forget about the Ringer NFL show. That's where you can find GM Street, Kevin Clark's interview with Andrew Luck, and a whole bunch of NFL draft stuff we are doubling down
Starting point is 01:14:27 on the NFL draft we love it it's fun check it out check out the ringer NBA show for all of our playoff stuff and that's about it I think we're going to have one more BS report we're squeezing one more out this week it's either going to be Friday or over the weekend I don't know
Starting point is 01:14:43 yet we'll see what happens. Until then, the BS Report. On the wayside On the first side of the river I'm saying I don't have to ever forget

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