The Bill Simmons Podcast - Dodgers Agony With Mallory Rubin, Tickets to Sports Movie Events With Shea Serrano, and 'Big Mouth' With Nick Kroll. Plus: Million Dollar Picks | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: October 11, 2019

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Mallory Rubin for Mallory’s Most Intriguing, in which she shares her top five story lines of the week including another Clayton Kershaw postseason meltdown, the last two undefeated NFL QBs (Tom Brady and Jimmy Garoppolo), the upcoming Patrick Mahomes–Deshaun Watson matchup, and more (2:36). Then Bill gives out some Million Dollar Picks (45:13), before talking with Shea Serrano about his new book 'Movies (and Other Things)' and what sports movie events they would most want tickets to (51:47). Finally, Bill sits down with actor, comedian, and 'Big Mouth' cocreator Nick Kroll to talk awkward puberty stories, the show's appeal to teenagers, and more before Bill's son joins the pod to share his thoughts on the show (1:18:15). Nick Kroll: Middle-Aged Boy Tour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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wrapped up this week with Magnolia. We are done with that season, 15 movie podcasts in all. We also, on the real Rewatchables feed, the original one, you can listen to Remember the Titans, which went up on Tuesday, as well as other new podcasts, The Hottest Take on Spotify, Brian Rosillo's podcast,

finishing up a triumphant sixth week. It's Kyle's favorite podcast. My feelings are hurt. I'm not going to lie. And The Road Taken, a couple of the Vampire Weekend guys' podcasts about life on the road. You should check that out as well. And then Sonic Boom, which is on Luminary, episode two and up today. It's really good. It's about how the Sonics got hijacked from Seattle. This one, the one today is about Starbucks owner,

Howard Schultz, who bought the Sonics and basically paved the way for them to get stolen. So I would urge you to listen to that one. Coming up, Mallory Rubin's going to do Mallory's Most Intriguing, which we're going to talk some Dodgers. Just be ready for that. Shea Serrano stopping by to talk about his new book, as well as sports fictional type movie events that we wish we had been seen in person. And then Nick Kroll, Big Mouth season three. And then my son actually comes on and Nick Kroll makes his life.

And you get to hear all of that. But first, our friends from Pearl Jam. All right, we're taping this segment. It is early afternoon. It's before the Tampa game five. So if somebody throws a perfect game or something, don't blame us. Mallory Rubin is here. Hello. She likes to do Mallory's most intriguing every week.

Take the floor. Let's go. I'm ready to talk about the Dodgers. Let's dive right in. Number five, but I think really number one. I mean, we could go in an inverted order today. Let's go inverted order. Number one.

Let's mix it up. Baseball, man. Yeah. The simultaneous Dodger and national narratives, because that was coming to a head heading into that game, and then both things kind of exploded. So now we are full on in Nationals-Ewing theory mode as they head on to the LCS without Harper.

Just incredible. One of your favorite things in the world. Oh my God, so excited. But we have to start with the Dodgers. We just have to, because the Clayton Kershaw playoff narrative is not even just a narrative anymore. It is ingrained in the DNA

of every living being. It is a part of who we are. It is a part of our shared experience, our shared history, and our shared future. That's where we are with it. And it's honestly crushing. I can't remember another athlete

wearing it like this as the event was still going on. Because we saw it like, I was thinking about the NBA. Karl Malone was probably the closest to Kershaw where he would just unbelievable regular seasons. Then the playoffs would come short and then Jordan kind of pulled his heart out in the 97-98 finals.

This is different though because we have the internet. We have the ability to beat narratives into the ground to the point of detriment. And is different though, because we have the internet. We have the ability to beat narratives into the ground to the point of detriment. And in this case, starting around 2016, this was really got going. And then he kind of fought it off a little in 17. But then by the time he hit the whole run last year, even the Dodger fans in my life were like, I just don't trust this guy. I don't trust him to come through. And I think he knew it, which made it worse. And then it all blew up yesterday. Yeah. I mean, I think it started even a little earlier than that. Cause that eight run,

that eight run game was in 2014, I think. So, you know, so, so a little background just on viewing this last night, I was at Shea Serrano's book event, Skylight Books. So I did not have the pleasure or misfortune, however you want to frame it, of watching this live. But what happened was that at one point during the event, I looked down at my phone. It was like I could sense a change in the air. Yeah. And I had text messages from you, from Jeff, from my husband, from friends who follow baseball or the Dodgers, MLB Slack was popping. Our MLB planning Slack was popping. The push notifications were coming in from every sport app I have on my phone.

It was like it was a global crisis. And this is in a week, by the way, where there is an actual global crisis. Right. It was not a common sporting thing. And that is undeniably a part of what makes it such a train wreck kind of sensation

as a sports fan where, you know, that's a cliche for a reason because it is true. You see this thing and you are appalled and horrified and you don't want

to have to witness it, but you actually cannot look away. There's a magnetic quality to watching that kind of meltdown. And he's incredibly likable. He is. Which Jeff was arguing, like, should that matter?

Like if James Harden blows it in the next five playoffs, does it reach a point where you feel bad for him? And I was like, well, first of all, when it's a pitcher, it's always the worst. It's the most naked position we have. Yeah, the spotlight's on you. And especially in the playoffs. After you failed,

the manager coming out to get you, it's just all of it's the worst. If only the manager had not put him in in the first place. I mean, there's a whole separate Dave Roberts conversation to have. But to that point about how likable he is, you know, when he came in

to get the final out of the seventh inning, I went home, I caught up on the game. I watched all of it, as much of it as I could. Watched the highlights, reading everything, soaking it up. The,

not even joy, but the like unbridled euphoria that he was displaying after he got eaten out in the seventh. Like, Clayton Kershaw

is one of the best pitchers of all time. That's not hyperbole. And to see him celebrate, of course, getting out in a playoff game is a big moment, but that was a reflection of the fact that he also was thinking what everyone else was thinking, which is, I can't fuck this up again.

And so then the swing into what happened in the eighth, the consecutive homers to Rendon and then Soto and his just despondence, like visible despondence. You feel the life leave his body. I texted you in fantasy before he came in. Yes. At 8.05 PM. Yeah.

And I texted you, I wish people cared about baseball because Kershaw blowing this game would be unbelievable. They care about this. And then I texted you 20 minutes later. This is unbelievable. I love an all caps text. I felt, I just, I got to. This is unbelievable. I love an all caps text. I felt, I,

I, I just, I gotta say I was speechless. Yeah. I was speechless that, first of all, that they brought him in and I thought you could feel the energy. You,

you didn't get to watch a lot, but the energy in the stadium changed. Oh, And the only thing I could compare it to was the over-under is now shattered because I'm bringing up a Boston team. 2004 game seven, Yankee stadium. We're about to complete the most amazing comeback in baseball history. And fucking Frank Conner brings Pedro in. And the Yankee stadium is dead and the energy

shifts. And there's this moment where you go oh my god oh no this would be terrible if he blew this it was kind of the opposite at dodger stadium where i think they were expecting really anybody else and kershaw comes in and it goes from joyous to you could just everybody's sphincters got tight you could fear feel it yeah but then he got out of the seventh and it's like okay we got this right and he comes got out of the seventh and it's like, okay, we got this. Right. And he comes out in the eighth, but now it's like Rendon and Soto. I thought that was, I just thought he was going to pitch to one batter.

Didn't you? The way that Dave Roberts managed the game is, and Ben Lundberg wrote a really, really good piece about this for the ringer today. And Michael Baum wrote a great piece on the Kershaw meltdown last night. The way that Dave Roberts managed this game, you got to a point with it where,

Lindbergh said this to me in Slack today, when nerds like me and Zach Graham cannot find a way to defend it, you've really messed up. Right. Like, that's the thing about baseball that people always talk about is, you can always find the stat or the data point that you need to make your case. It didn't exist with the way that Dave Roberts managed this game. Well, in the past, he would have brought in Jensen for six outs,

and that would have gone badly, too. I mean, Kenley Jensen is not the pitcher that he used to be, but he's still Kenley Jensen. And to have a game that came down to ultimately Clayton Kershaw, a starting pitcher with a well-documented series of postseason achievements. Yes, we should say that, but also postseason debacles. And then Joe Kelly

for two innings. Well, hold on. Go backwards, though. You have a two-run lead. You have a Soto specialist in your bullpen who you said ahead of the series was a Soto specialist

and has gotten him out three times already in this series in cleric. You have a two-run lead. All I want to do once I'm out of the seventh is like, I have to get through Rendon and Soto. Right. I just have to.

These are my two guys. Right. And if I get through those, I'm fine. When Kershaw came back out, I know nothing. And I was like, oh man, this would be bad. So- I mean, the first home run was ridiculous though. He golfed that off the fucking home plate. Sure.

It was just a great hit. Yeah. Soto hit that. Anthony Robano's incredible. So is Soto. Soto, that was one of the furthest homers I've ever seen in Dodger Stadium. It was 20 rows back. Yeah.

It's also happening amid the other playoff narrative of is the ball de-juiced? Right, right, right. And Kershaw's out there giving up that home run. Very tough look. The way that Roberts tried to justify it after the game was a sincerely fascinating 2019 sports and media moment because he's taking heat. You know, the other thing we should say is for some more macro context here, the Dodgers have won seven consecutive division titles. They don't have a World Series to show for that, okay? They won 106 games this season.

Irrefutably, the Dodgers and the Astros were the best teams in baseball this year. The Dodgers have not only made it to the World Series, they haven't made it to the Championship Series. They're out in the Division Series. They lost to the Nationals, who had never won a playoff series. Never won a playoff series. The difference, though, is their fans,

even as these wins were piling up, were like, I don't trust it. Right. I didn't, I know a lot of Dodger fans, none of them were like, this is the year. We got this. All of them were like, is Roberts going to screw this up? Can we trust Kershaw?

Totally. And that's because this cloud is kind of hanging over the entire enterprise. And so that's the point that I was starting to make about the Dave Roberts post-game interview,

which is just a fascinating case study, I think, in the desire to simultaneously express guilt and culpability, but also say, I did what I thought was right and I stood by my guys. And in an analytically driven sport, his rationale boiled down to one thing and one thing only. You

can read all thousand words. I believe in Clayton Kershaw. And there is a huge difference between saying you root for Clayton Kershaw and you want him to be able to win. I think that's how we feel. Like, it just sucks as a sports fan to watch something like this happen to one of the best players in the history of the sport and saying, I don't believe the data when it tells me that going to Kenta Maeda

or to my lefty specialist to face Soto are the right calls there. This is the same issue the Red Sox had in 03 and 04. This is Grady Little going. I know all the data says Pedro's success just craters when he gets by, I think it was like

107 pitches or whatever the number is. He didn't care. He was like, I'm going to trust my gut. There are a lot of Pedro Kershaw parallels. I think Pedro's apex was better. But 03,04 Pedro, which was the back-to-back Yankees series where he was still Pedro, but he wasn't totally Pedro. And that's kind of where Kershaw was. He wasn't totally Kershaw anymore. You're completely right. We're in a weird moment in his career where I think because of obviously what happened last night, but also even just the nature of his regular season,

which compared to the masses of pitchers in baseball was very good, but compared to Pete Kershaw was totally subpar, where we're like, man, it feels like he's 38 and at the end, he's 31. Right. You know, he is nowhere near the end of his career, but you have things happening like the dip in velocity and not just a dip in velocity. And not just a dip in velocity and a reduction in stuff,

but this was another thing that Lindbergh pointed out in his piece today. It's what that dip in velocity leads to, which is the loss of a velocity gap between his pitches. And that's the source of success, right? So if his fastball, if his foreseeing fastball and his slider are two miles per hour apart and you're Dave Roberts and you see that, you cannot leave him in that game. It's that simple.

You can't be a major league baseball manager if you do that. You can't. And you can't have Joe Kelly walk Soto to load the bases and then leave him in. I almost tweeted. I try to stay out of this, especially when it's on my team. When Joe Kelly came out for the second inning. Well, you had the Joe Kelly experience, good and bad.

But you could argue Joe Kelly has killed the Dodgers for two straight years. Now, I think they lose the game anyway when it's 3-3. And really, baseball is pretty unforgiving when something catastrophic like that happens.

The only time I can really remember it flipping back was the 2016 Game 7, the Cubs, when there was the rain delay. The rain delay was an all-timer. And the rain delay kind of changed the momentum back. But the Dodgers actually had been in a couple games like that recently. What that did to the crowd. Yeah.

I've been in crowds like that when it's an assassination, basically, and you can't recover. Everybody's deer in the headlights. Even Maverick Carter sitting there behind home plate. Yeah. Even he seems stunned. The shot of Kershaw in the dugout. What about him crouching before the ball left the park? It was like he lost energy in his legs.

The crouch on the mound was heart-wrenching because you know what's going through his head in that moment. And he said it. I thought it was fascinating. He said it after the game. Basically, everything that people say about me in the postseason is true. I just thought that was incredible that he said that out loud. And again, like really sad. But when you're an athlete, you're aware of all the narratives.

But the shot of him in the dugout, the reason that that was the saddest, one of the saddest things that any of us have ever seen in sports no one was around i know it was the complete inverse of the way that you leave a pitcher on his own in the dugout when he's throwing a no hitter or perfect game like we don't want to fuck with the mojo it was like we can't bear to look at him the shame that everybody feels is too strong but that was bullshit somebody should have said next time it was just so sad and again i think that there is a little bit of a divide in fandom where some people say, why do you feel bad for Kershaw? He is supposed to be not only an ace,

but a generational and historic talent, and he can't get it done in the playoffs. That's on him? I would just posit that that is not why you can't think it's sad. That specifically is why it's sad. You know, from basically 2011

to 2017, and you could, I think you could point out fairly that 2016 and 2017 were starting to dip. But certainly from 2011 to 2015

and really that whole stretch 11 to 17, he was not only the best pitcher in baseball, he was arguably the best pitcher of all time. There's a case you could make for that. Settle down.

There's a case you could make for it, that in that span of time he was. I'm going to spray you with a water bottle. In the conversation, okay? Stop it. That guy is responsible for his team's failure to win a championship.

He is at least in part responsible and at times directly responsible. And that is devastating. He reminds me of, it's similar to James Harden actually, where just for modern people where the regular season credentials are so unassailable.

And then they, for whatever reason, they don't translate in the playoffs. In James Harden's case, I think the game slows down. There's a familiarity when you play him seven times in the playoffs. In James Harden's case, I think the game slows down. There's a familiarity when you play him seven times in two weeks. I don't really have an explanation for Kershaw because most great pitchers

seem to carry that over in the postseason. There could be aberrations, but not like this. Yeah. It doesn't make sense to me. ESPN had a stat last night that his ERA, specifically in playoff elimination games, 5.77.

I mean. And I remember last year going against them. I was afraid of Buehler. Yeah. I didn't want to go against him. I was fine with Kershaw. We should talk, though, quickly about the seven-year run the Dodgers had. Yeah.

Where we've seen bad, teams hit bad spots. I know my beloved Red Sox had a couple stretches, but not seven years in a row. And not seven years where you're the favorite in every series you end up losing. And not all the horrible losses they've had. I talked to a Dodger fan this morning

that I'm buddies with. And he was just like, I can't even talk about it. Yeah. I'm like broken. I'm broken by this team. I can't come back. It's unbelievable.

There was a fun debate this morning about whether you would have preferred to lose the way the Dodgers lost last night or the way the Braves lost. You know, giving up a historic 10-run first inning. Just losing. You're out of it before you even have preferred to lose the way the Dodgers lost last night or the way the Braves lost. You know, giving up a historic 10-run first inning.

You're out of it before you even have a chance. Right. And the case, obviously, for losing in the fashion that the Dodgers lose is that you're in it, you believe the whole way, and you can remain invested. But at the end of the day, it's your fault. You know?

It's your fault. And then that hangs over not only the entire postseason and season, but like you're saying, you then kind of relitigate the past and all of this stuff washes up and it begins to feel, and this is one of the amazing things about sports, but also one of the kind of paralyzing things about being a sports fan or obviously someone who's playing or coaching in the games, you just begin to feel like there's a force at play that's beyond your control.

And I know that feeling. I mean, I certainly got a lot of columns about it back in the day where you just feel like there are larger forces at work. I remember after the Boone Homer, and I wrote a column that I still don't know how I even wrote it. I had to work at Kimmel Show,

and the next day I left Kimmel Show at like two, I had to leave. I was so upset. I actually like couldn't work. Yeah. That's what Craig Gaines looks like when he walked in this morning. So I did a levels of losing thing

a while ago on page two that really hit with people. And the final level was that game, which was game 686, where your team has 14 pitches to win the World Series and can't get it done, along with all the other baggage. Level two was a stomach punch and, you know, like the Ernest Biner fumble, stuff like that. And level three was the guillotine, which is basically the devastating loss, but you can kind of see it. You're like, is that a guillotine up there?

You look it up. I felt like last night was a guillotine loss. Kershaw comes in. Interesting. And all the Dodger fans looked up and they're like. There it is. Oh, but then the second homer was a stomach punch. First homer was like, oh shit.

Right. Oh no, the Kershaw stuff. Oh God. Next pitch. It was like they weren't even kind of recovering from the first homer. And then Soto hits it 500 feet. Yeah. That was brutal.

The other thing that exacerbated all of that and amplified it was again, like the Nationals being on the other side of it because they've been a team that you talked about all those things with for so long because they couldn't get over the hump despite having these star players. And not even like

a cool history of losing. Just like they just lose. They just lose. Yeah, we just lose in the playoffs every year. They just can't do it. They just can't string enough seasons together

despite having, you know, an MVP in Bryce Harper. And now, of course, they're in the Harper-Ewing theory moment, right? So they're in the LCS. They're going to face the Cardinals.

Harper, where's he? Philadelphia, 13-year contract, $330 million. What did the Phillies do today? They fired their manager. Nats are preparing to advance to the next phase of the World Series after not only winning the first series of the playoffs, not the World Series, after winning the division series, but they won the wildcard game too. They've had to get through. And Soto came up big in the wildcard game. Yeah, huge. I mean, to me, Soto is the story for them. This is like, Harper was this guy who was supposed to change baseball in Washington.

Didn't really totally do it, but they stumble into Soto. I mean, they didn't stumble into him, but the guy that they always thought Harper was going to be, it seems like it's going to be Soto. And he's actually coming through and playing off games. They have like a lot of star power though. I mean, obviously Rendon is going to be a free agent,

which kind of feels like a miniature version of a Harper Redux coming for them. I call him Rendon. I know it obviously Rendon is going to be a free agent, which kind of feels like a miniature version of a Harper Redux coming for them. I call him Rendon. I know it's Rendon. That's fine. I just, it's my speech impediment thing. Do you think all your listeners know that the reason they should be rooting for him and following him is because he once went on the record and said that he doesn't watch baseball because he thinks it's too boring?

Is that true? Yeah. Washington Post story about it. It's incredible. My buddy Gus, who is the biggest baseball fan of any friend I have, he tweeted yesterday about how this guy is Paul Molitor basically, which is high praise for

kids from the 70s and 80s because that was a guy, he would just come up and he would just line drives. And he'd be like, line drives to the guy. Single. He's just a fantastic hitter. There was no way to pitch to him. And that homer he asked for was kind of Molitor-ish where it was a terrible pitch

and he just golfed it out. He's in the MVP consideration. And Soto is going to be, like you said, a rising star in the game. Adam Eaton's always hurt, so it's kind of easy to lose track of him.

But when he's healthy, he's one of the most impactful all-around players. And then, of course, they've got, you know, basically the only top three rotation, or one of the only top three rotations that could rival what the Astros would be able to put out if they get past, if they not only get past the Rays,

but then the Yankees. But some fun Strasburg. Yeah, Scherzer is always fun to root for. Strasburg's been cruising. I mean, Corbin had a really good season. The Strasburg thing, like, you know, it didn't seem like it was going to totally happen. And then this year it finally happened.

It's great. And I thought him and Scherzer were both good. So I have the solution to fix Kershaw. Okay. But I want to talk about Dunkin' Donuts first. It's the go-to place. I saved this specifically for you, this read for a delicious on-the-to place. I saved this specifically for you, this read,

for a delicious on-the-go breakfast. Ooh, I love breakfast. They're introducing two new burrito bowls packed with savory, fiesta-worthy flavors. Wonderful. Full of scrambled eggs and fire-roasted veggies. Everything you want to eat in breakfast in a bowl, you can choose between a chorizo or a fire-roasted veggie bowl. Chorizo has eggs, chorizo, cheese, onion, poblano peppers, red quinoa, brown rice, topped with smoky tomato sauce. Wonderful. It's delicious. I ate it three days ago and I loved it. The fire-roasted veggie burrito bowl has eggs, cauliflower, cheese, onion, bell peppers, corn, black beans, brown rice, chipotle sauce. It's basically a burrito without the actual burrito covering it. Sure. That sounds great. They go great with a freshly brewed cup of original blend

or bold dark roast. I don't know if you've ever tried coffee. I love coffee. Oh, you've tried coffee? I love coffee. Oh, wait. You drink like three a day. Whether you're headed to work, to school, to your kid's school, wherever, Dunkin' has two tasty new ways to spice up your morning. Dig into the new burrito bowls from Dunkin'. A fiesta of flavor in a bowl. Okay. Is that the fix for Kershaw? Houston. Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. Houston is the field of dreams for pitchers in their 30s. Yep. You go, you regain four miles an hour in your fastball and your strikeouts go way up. That's where he needs to go.

Whatever magic little sauce they have there. Magic potion. The Texas weather. Whatever's going on there, they know how to turn around Cy Young Award winners. Sure do. Guess who's from Texas? Clayton Kershaw. Yeah. High school

teammates with Matt Stafford. Great stuff. I had one other idea for him. A little Chris Sale and Evaldi for Kershaw and a contract. What? Yeah, a little, I'll get rid of some money and I'll take Kershaw's last two years back and everybody's happy. Is everyone happy?

I don't know. Just throwing it out. Interesting. He only has two years left, as you said, on the Dodger deal. He's only going to be 33. You know, heading in your mid-ish 30s down to a Texas team, rehabilitate

your arsenal. It's the Verlander script. Let's do it. I feel bad for the Dodger fans. Kurt Gibson, Tomer, and that World Series, you were a young tyke at that point. I'm old enough to remember it. It was wonderful. It was one of the craziest things I've ever seen in a baseball game.

They win the World Series with the most garbage team anyone's ever won a World Series with. I make fun of my Dodger fan friends about this all the time. It's an atrocious team statistically other than Hirschhiser. They win the World Series

and then just pain. Yeah. And then you look at the 21st century. They are the most tortured 21st century team though, I think. I think they've had the most body blows of anybody, any sport. Well, that's kind of a philosophical argument because- It's worse to sit in first class and then get kicked out or thrown up on or have shit thrown on you, then to just be in coach and not know any better. Right.

Is it ultimately worse to always suck and never make the playoffs so that you don't have the chance to lose in excruciating fashion or to constantly be there and just always come up short? You're first class. You're eating your filet mignon. You're watching a movie. And then the steward is like, get the fuck out. Go to the back.

Yeah. Like what happened? Man. I was so happy. Real rich guy vibe from you right there. Thank you. Four things left. Mallory's most intriguing.

Okay. We'll keep the rest of them quicker because that was a long one. Next. This is for you. Yeah. Are we heading? Do we have to start asking if we're heading?

Oh, I hope you're asking what I think you're going to ask. Is the word... Toward a talk lady, are the initials JG involved? Jimmy G Super Bowl. Yes. Kyle, turn your mic on. We have to at least ask if we're heading in this direction. I mean, the elites of the AFC and NFC right now, we should say Patriots play on Thursday night.

So by the time this goes out in the world, it's possible that Danny Dimes will have taken down Tom Brady, assuming Eli's mantle of slaying the Patriot dragon. Dare to dream. Is Eli? I just want a lot of chance at Eli tonight would be my only dream for that game. How many Eli sideline cam shots do you think we'll get? Like what's the over under on that? Is there a prop bet for that? There's got Eli sideline cam shots do you think we'll get? Like, what's the over-under

on that? Is there a prop bet for that? There's got to be. That's fine. If they want to play it that way, that's fine. I just hope the Boston fans, I hope the Massals

are out in full force. Kyle, who do you root for Tom Brady versus Jimmy G? Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady. Okay, just wanted to make sure. Every other time. Kyle's wearing an Irving Friar jersey right now,

so I wasn't concerned about his answer. He hates the Giants. Amazing outfit. So yeah, so Jimmy G, most handsome quarterback battle ever?

Certainly up there. I mean, yeah. Maybe Kevin Kermire does the coin toss? A personal favorite of mine. With Tyler from The Bachelor? I'm not sure I could survive

a moment like that, honestly. I'm not sure I can survive thinking about a moment like that. So the Niners, and they're going to come up a million dollar picks in a second. This is the real test this week. They're playing at the Rams. We're going to find out. Every win they've had so far has been explainable

and a team they should have beaten if they were good. Total different animal, division rival, on the road. Let's see it. And the offensive line injuries are really piling up. And fullback injury on top of it. So you're going to have a protection issue for Jimmy D. And the team you don't want to have a protection issue against is the Rams because Aaron Donald is on that defensive line.

That could be a real problem. But if they're able to manage that, issue against is the ramps because Aaron Donald is on that defensive line. That could be a real problem. But if they're able to manage that and Jimmy and Shanahan can keep finding their rhythm together, Matt Breda is the fastest running back in football. And when he gets loose on one, it's

mesmerizing to watch. Coleman is not slow either. Coleman looked good last week. Coleman Dillica. Kittle is extraordinary, as we talked about last week. The D-line is playing well. They're a complete team. So the road is tough from here on. And they're actually well-coached,

as opposed to most of the teams in the National Football League. They seem relatively well-coached. Yeah. I also, this is a total snob thing. I'm 50. I get to say stuff like this now. The Niners are one of those teams I just kind of, it's more fun when they're good.

Sure. Because I'm just used to being, them being good. When they go four and 12 or they're rebuilding, it's just kind of like, eh. Yeah. I feel like this. I feel like the same way about Dallas. Like I like when, I'd rather have Dallas be good than like terrible. Yeah. It's, I think about this with college football all the time.

You know, it's always fun when you get something like TCU coming in, you know, out of nowhere to challenge or various other examples. But the sport is ultimately a more interesting proposition when the Blue Bloods are playing like that. So like Texas, you know, having multiple years in a row of subpar performances is not actually a good thing for the sport. It ultimately isn't. The Niners are similar.

And generations of fans, which I was like, you know. It's funny, Jerry Rice, who just people would have gone nuts for if he played now.

That's another one of those where people are like, who's the best receiver of all time? Is it Terrell Owens? It's like, just leave. I don't want to talk to you. Yeah, that's not really

much of a debate. I hope not. Is that a debate people have? No, I thought Jordan was just going to you. That's not really much of a debate. I hope not. Is that a debate people have? No, I thought Jordan was just going to be unassailable. And now everybody's like, well, LeBron, I know it's only three titles. Jerry Rice is so far ahead of everybody else. He's by far the best receiver I've ever seen. And nobody's close.

And a wedding crasher. And a wedding crasher. As Kevin Clark and from the world. Those teams are really good. I enjoyed all of it. The candlestick, it felt like a real achievement to beat them in candlestick was like a thing. Now they play in a shit stadium that nobody likes.

Tough. What a, I mean, and also it's like in the middle of nowhere and impossible to get to, which is like self-defeating. If you're in the middle of nowhere, it should actually be easy to get to. You go and then you're doing like one-way routes around. Like, ah, it's a nightmare. I hate that stadium.

I can't say I've had the pleasure of experiencing it in person, but I have had the pleasure of reading a Roger Sherman article about how bad it is. It's terrible. It's almost the same thing. So Thomas Brady against James G, you're in if the Ravens are out of the whole thing. That's a fun to go for you. If the Ravens are out of the whole thing. That's a fun to go for you. If the Ravens are out of it. It just seems like the, I mean, the Patriots,

the only path that they have to worry about is basically midway through the playoffs. I mean, there's nothing stopping them in the regular season. The division is an embarrassment outside of the Bills. And the fun thing to think about is that once they get to the playoffs, Brady has the potential to face multiple prior backups, you know, because if they get a matchup with the Colts, you have the Jacoby Brissett, Brady Bull,

and then should the Niners advance on the NFC side, you could have Brady and Jimmy G. I mean, the Niners path, this goes without saying, but is drastically more challenging. And their division's really good, too. The Seahawks are legit. I mean, the Seahawks are 4-1. Russell Wilson might be the MVP in the NFL right now.

He certainly is mounting a convincing case. And you look at the Eagles, the Packers, the Saints, and then, you know, the next tier of teams, the Cowboys. Maybe the Bears or Lions. I don't know if I'm quite ready to say that yet. We do this every year. Somebody emerges around mid-November. There will be somebody

that comes late. There's a whole cluster of teams that the Niners are going to be fighting against. Meanwhile, the Patriots, our big thing is like, man, our field goal kicker can only kick at 48 yards. I actually complained about that to somebody. What if he has to kick a 50-yarder? One more comp between the Patriots and Alabama

between Belichick and Saban, your favorite. Not that we need another comp. Yeah, like the only Achilles heel being the field goal kicker. So annoying. They're also similar because Saban's a coward. Oh no, Bill Belichick's not a coward. I forgot. He stayed in the NFL.

Anyway, what's your next thing? What's your next thing? You're unbelievable. Next one. Tank bowl season has arrived. This will be something that we track regularly throughout the season. It's the season of the tank in the NFL. Trust the process has come to the NFL.

And the Browns have not necessarily done what everyone thought they would do this season to maybe fully stamp that plan so that everyone else wants to mimic it. The Browns? Oh, yeah, yeah. But you still have the Dolphins in a full-on tank, and then you have other teams that are maybe not intentionally tanking, but are still on their way to the results of a tank regardless.

So we've got the Redskins at the Dolphins this week. It's the poop-fectable. It's the Kendall Royce poop bed of. It sure is. Playoff games. It sure is. And no one is even bothering to clean up. They're just rolling up the sheets.

Yeah. Maybe not even taking Kyle's earlier advice to flip the mattress. That was great. Because we're going to have a lot of other tank bowl games coming and everyone's just going to keep shitting on the bad. So leave the mattress face up. Washington's favored by three and a half points in that game. They're horrible.

They are horrible. They stink. I can't. That's how bad Miami is. Like they, they, Washington up by three and a half against any other team is nuts. Getting credit maybe for the coaching change finally happening.

Gruden got, Jay Gruden got canned. Bill Callahan. I mean, Bill Callahan. Taken over. The Hall of Fame bad coach. The,

the quotes that are coming out of Washington camp this weekend are unbelievable. Can't wait to bet against him. So many comments about quote unquote fundamentals and the run game. It's really wild. Go back and read the old Raiders stuff when they fell apart, like right after Gruden left within two years because he was so terrible. Yeah, he's already saying that Haskins isn't going to play. You know, not interested in assessing and building for the future.

They're saying he's a thinking man's art show. So the winless teams right now, Dolphins are 0-4, Redskins are 0-5, Jets are 0-4, Bengals are 0-5. And then you have that next tier of teams, Steelers 1-4, Broncos 1-4, but hanging in their games. But Steelers don't have their pick, so they're going to be going for it. Well, another factor for the Dolphins, of course, is that they have that pick. Falcons, one and four. Cardinals, one, three, and one. So why does this matter

ultimately? You have this game and then some of the ones to monitor the rest of the season. Jets at Dolphins week nine. Jets at Redskins week 11. Steelers at Bengals week 12. Jets at Bengals week 13. Jets at Dolphins week 14, Bengals at Dolphins week 16. It matters because, again, in a macro sense, the question of Ken tanking and what the Browns did over the last few years work in the NFL is one of the dominant storylines in the sport, but also because we're heading into a potentially historic quarterback class draft. The 2020 draft, obviously you're tanking for Tua. Tua is the top pick, Alabama quarterback. What about Johnny Lawrence? Trevor Lawrence. I call him Johnny Lawrence. His name is Trevor. Johnny Lawrence. And he is neither named Johnny, nor is he draft eligible this year. But- Is he a year away?

I'm glad, yes. But I'm glad you mentioned that because that's a factor for these teams. If you're not getting Tua and or you're one of the teams that is going to have a really high draft pick, but you also have a young franchise quarterback that you've recently drafted, whether that's Sam Darnold

or you traded for Josh Rosen or you drafted Kyler Murray, whatever the example might be. Josh Rosen. Is that a guy... Josh Rosen quietly playing decently, whatever the example might be. Is that a guy? Josh Rosen quietly playing decently, by the way, and like the pass catchers on that

team are not worthy of the label pass catchers because the amount of drops is just abhorrent. Do you maybe wait a year? Do you maybe wait a year and go for the Trevor Lawrence draft instead? But the thing about this Tua class is that there's unbelievable depth behind him.

Jalen Hurts, the Alabama transfer, who lost his job to Tua and is now at Oklahoma. He's my age. Third guy in a row who is going through the Lincoln-Riley machine. Yeah. Transferring into the program, maybe going to win a Heisman,

maybe going to be a top draft pick. Obviously, Baker Mayfield and Kyler Murray were the prior two. Jalen will be a first-round draft pick and might work his way into being a top 10 pick based on how he's playing now. Jake Fromm, the Georgia quarterback. I like Jake Fromm.

Jake Fromm is good. Doesn't like to throw the ball more than like five yards at a time, but plenty of teams are into that. Jacob Eason, who... Jake Fromm took the job from at Georgia, and then Jacob Eason, prior elite recruit,

transferred to Washington. He's one to watch. He will work his way back up into high, high draft consideration. I guarantee it. He's a classic NFL measurables guy. Justin Herbert, the Oregon guy, who many people said

would have gone number one last year, which I did not think was true or made sense, but people said that, and then he decided to go back to school. He's a classic, is he too tall guy. Robert Mays is obsessed with him and thinks he's too tall. He's 6'7". That's not what we're, that's too tall.

It is, it is actually too tall. And then Joe Burrow is one to watch. He's the LSU quarterback who's had an incredible start to the season so far and is working his way into the consideration. So that is a very rich set of prospects. So you like all the quarterbacks. It's a great quarterback class.

So it's a good time to be a bad team. Well, the problem for most of these teams is that they're so terrible they don't really have a choice if they're tanking. Watch the Miami. There will be a choice made in that game by one of the two sides. Went to sabotage.

It's a game you don't want to win. We'll see. That game might be on the TVs Sunday, Kyle. I'll watch it with you. It's going to sabotage. It's a game you don't want to win. We'll see. That game might be on the TV Sunday, Kyle. I'll watch it with you. It's going to be fascinating. What's next? On the opposite end of the spectrum,

a game you definitely want to watch because it's going to be hopefully really good, not because it's going to be awful. We're getting Mahomes versus Watson this week. That's an incredible treat if you're a football fan.

Now, it will be inherently fun regardless of any links between the players, but we have that extra juicy deliciousness of the fact that they are linked because they were part of the same draft class, the 17 class. Wait a second. Did you know that Mitch Trubisky

was picked ahead of them? We can't talk about that without mentioning Biscuit, of course. The Trubisky-holics are going to come after us. The Bears, of course, traded up to number two to draft Biscuit ahead of Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson. Never forget. Hashtag never forget.

The Chiefs took Mahomes at 10 and the Texans took Watson at 12. They're facing off in the NFL. The team's played last preseason I think they played in 17 but Ed Watson was playing in that game but Mahomes hadn't obviously wasn't playing

in his actual rookie season there's been some Tyreek Hill some buzz he might some we might see him yeah he's

a lot of sideline cam shots of him recently the health reports it seems like he's getting close to returning I think the more germane question for the Chiefs right now is what is the status of him recently. The health reports, it seems like he's getting close to returning. I think the more germane question for the Chiefs right now

is what is the status of Patrick Mahomes' health? Because they lost on Sunday Night Football to the Colts, and he was hurt. To your Indianapolis Colts, the ankle injury was really affecting him in that game. He was not the same passer after the ankle injury. And he's still Patrick Mahomes.

He's still the best quarterback in football. Sorry to both of you and Tom Brady. But... I just never in my life remember a Tom Brady excuse after a home loss.

I remember Tom Brady like, oh, my ankle hurt. You know who doesn't talk about pain? Tom Brady. I don't remember Patrick Mahomes saying that either. I remember Tom Brady

winning Super Bowls after he'd been concussed. Is that the model? I'm just saying. Or suspended, honestly. Suspended? Said so many terrible things thrown at him? You're complaining? No. Patrick Mahomes had an entire baller's plotline devoted to him. Talk about a terrible

thing being thrown at you. Yeah. Is that the last one this week? Is that your last one? No, it's not, but it will be a pop culture item. It will be a pop culture item. It will be a pop culture item. So we're fired up for Mahomes-Watson. Can't wait.

It's just a treat for football fans. I think the last thing on that, by the way, is just that with Mahomes coming off two down weeks and Watson coming off

the best game that he's had without getting sacked, finally they were able to protect him and he threw five touchdowns and looked incredible. You have this MVP dialogue building in the sport

where Mahomes still the leader but trending down not for long but trending down. Watson trending up and all of that is against the backdrop

of the Russ Wilson and Christian McCaffrey can they do it? You like all these MVP candidates. I love it. It's great stuff. Number one. Number five.

Number five. Succession finale this weekend. We're saying goodbye to season two of a show that we cherish. Who will the blood sacrifice be? Will we see Jerry and Roman fuck?

What piece of furniture will Kendall defecate on when he's not supposed to? They're going to be on a yacht, it looks like, for much of the episode. I've never not enjoyed a TV show that had a Jen yacht.

I can't wait. So I would say... What are you looking forward to most? I would say minus 140 odds, Tom is the blood sacrifice. Okay. I would say plus 120, Kendall.

Okay. And I would say plus 200, Cousin Greg. Okay. I think they want you to think that it's going to be Tom or Greg. They did the

they did the shot of Kendall. Yes. On the TV as he talked about the sacrifice. Yes. And there's a very quick shot of him

in the teaser for the finale where his face is visibly quivering and he looks extremely upset. We talked about this when we discussed Succession with House a few weeks ago, but they have yet to return to the fact that Marsha and her son were in the room with Logan and Kendall in the season one finale for the infamous You're My Number One Boy moment when they

were openly discussing Kendall being responsible for the death of a young man. Marsha, her role- God, we're spoiler alerting the hell out of this. That was last year. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, America. Sorry. Watch Succession.

It's for your own good. Marsha's role this season has basically been that she's the spurned partner right Logan is having an affair Marsha's going up to Rhea and saying

are you regularly tested for like genital warts because I still fuck my husband by the way just incredible stuff because my 5'5 husband

is still bringing the thunder the Logan Roy stamina you know they say he's like a planet and they mean it in more ways than one, folks.

She has to come back in in some way and wreck shit. And so she has the ability to put Kendall on blast and use that to leverage the outcome that she wants, whether that's by

making Kendall the blood sacrifice or by forcing Logan to try to protect him in some way and protect that information for the sake of the company. So I do think it could be one of them.

The teaser is trying to make us think it will be Logan, but who knows if that's misdirection. I'm just, I'm fascinated to see how it all comes together. I hope everyone's okay. I'm rooting for Roman. Rooting for our boy, Roman. The necrophiliac. You're meant to be dead.

A wannabe necrophiliac, to be fair. It's role play. It's role play. It's a necrophiliac role player. It's role play. And as, you know, as he tried to express, if everybody could just get past their inhibitions and these like restrictive social norms

and just embrace- Pretending to stay alive during sex. Being open-minded partner it's been a phenomenal season I thought last episode was pretty weak I did not understand Roman in a foreign country

or what was going on there but I'm excited I think they're almost they're saving all the gusto for this one so

I hope it's gonna be good that's it Mallory's most intriguing how's Binge Bones Star Wars going? it's going man we're yeah we'll be we man yeah we'll be

we'll be we'll be sharing a launch date pretty soon you know when it's cool but not the coolest there you go alright we'll see you next week

alright Shay's coming up in one second first I am teaming up with FanDuel to give you a chance to play fantasy football against me Sal

the trifecta I mean how can you turn that down the best part the winner gets to fly out to Puerto Rico to be our official correspondent for FanDuel's World Fantasy Football Championship Live Finals.

All expenses pay trip. Four days worth at WFFC events in Puerto Rico. An exclusive beach after party with a live performance by Ludacris. Sounds like Kyle should go to this. Go to fanduel.com slash ringer to enter and draft your week six fantasy team before the games kick off on Sunday.

I did terrible last week, but you know who's going to be on my team this week, Kyle? Who? Gerald Everett, the Rams tight end. Really? I feel like he's coming into his own. I picked him up on both of my teams. He will be on my FanDuel team as well.

I like that guy. I like how hard he plays too, but he makes big plays. Remember, you can play against me, Sal, in the trifecta in the Ringer Listener League on FanDuel. Come, join us. FanDuel.com slash Ringer. Doesn't matter if you missed last week, you can still take home the top prize. FanDuel.com slash Ringer. All right, we're going to do million dollar picks first, then we'll bring in Shea. All right, we had to bump House this week, but he's fine because we bumped him for Shea Serrano. He loves Shea

Serrano. Million dollar picks really quickly. God, we got killed last week. We lost every pick. Why? Bears-Patriots tease, as covered on Sunday. Tough one. We lost Jags plus three and a half. We lost Tampa plus three. We had the Colts plus 11, but we had it with the over. The game did not go over. It was bad. We lost Jags plus three and a half. We lost Tampa plus three. We had the Colts plus 11,

but we had it with the over. The game did not go over as bad. We lost almost $1,100 last week. We are down to minus 235 for the season, thousand. It's all coming back this week. We have four home favorites. I like the home favorites this week. I really like this week. Number one, Jacksonville at home, one and a half against New Orleans. I've watched both of these teams a lot the first five weeks. Outdoors, I believe in Minshew. I think this is the week that people are going to be like, holy shit, Nick Foles is never going to play for Jacksonville again. Teddy Bridgewater was good last week. I'm still not 100% sold on him, especially outdoors. I think the Jags are going to be, you know,

this is basically the division's going to get away from them if they don't win this game. This is a must win for them. Not really a must win for New Orleans. I know every game's a whatever, but I think people are a little high in New Orleans right now. As much as I like them, I think they're a little high in New Orleans right now, as much as I like them. I think they're a top five team.

Something about this game, I like the one and a half. It feels like it should be Jacksonville by two and a half. It's Jacksonville by one and a half. I feel like I'm getting free value. I think this is a field goal game. I like Jacksonville. So mark that one down. Rams minus three over San Francisco for all the reasons we mentioned with Mallory a few minutes ago. The Rams, they're in another must-win situation.

They're coming off two straight losses. They're home. They're playing a division rival, a division rival who hasn't really played anybody. And I still believe in this Rams team. I'm going to throw away the Tampa game. I haven't liked the way their corners played the last two weeks, but I'm also not sure it's going to matter in this game. I'm not sold on the San Francisco receivers. We have seen them playing with leads pretty early in these games.

They haven't really played. We haven't seen them really have to play from behind yet in a significant way. I just believe in the Rams, especially 10 days to prepare. This is a kitchen sink game, in my opinion. And watch out for Gerald Everett, who I mentioned before,

because I think he's emerging into something major for them. So that's the second one. Broncos minus two over Tennessee. I can't believe I'm betting on Joe Flacco, but this is more of a bet against Marcus Mariota. And just in general, I don't think the Titans are good. I think this line should be Broncos by three or Broncos by three and a half. If you look at the games that

they've played this year, they're one and four. Every team they've played is good. Even that Raiders loss that seemed terrible in week one doesn't seem as terrible now. They had the Bears and the Jags. everybody they've played has been pretty competent. They finally took care of business last week. And I'm not quite sure they're out of this yet. They're one and four. There's going to be a funky nine and seven or 10 and six AFC team that makes the playoffs. I don't think it's going to be the Broncos, but they're a must-win scenario every game from now on. I think Tennessee is one of those teams

that if they fall behind, it's over. And I'm not sure how long Mariota has for them because he was really bad last week. Last one, Minnesota minus three over Philly. So to recap, I've somehow talked myself into Kirk Cousins and Joe Flacco. It's fine. I believe in the home teams with the defense.

And I think the Broncos and Minnesota are similar in this respect. If they can get a lead, they can take care of it. Minnesota, you know, you look at Philly. Philly's had some bad losses. That Atlanta loss looks horrible now because Atlanta's just bad. Even you look at the Green Bay thing,

I think they might've lost that game if Devontae Adams didn't get hurt. Not sure about Philly yet. I am sure that Minnesota at least is talented and at home if they have a lead can kind of take care of business. The rub with this is if they fall behind, you start sweating it out. But here's what I'm going to do. Here's where the money's going. 350K on the Rams minus three over San Francisco. That leaves me with 650 to play with on the other ones. I'm going to go 250 on the Broncos minus two over Tennessee. And I'm going to go 200 on Jacksonville minus one and a half and Minnesota minus three. That adds up to a million dollars. We're winning it this week. Here we go. Shea Serrano coming up right now. All right, Shea's coming in one second. Wanted

to mention the Google Assistant, ready to help you get more done with just your voice in the car at home. Everywhere you take your phone, you can personalize the way you interact with the assistant when completing tasks. For instance, if I say, hey, Google, remember that Joe House is house. Then when I need to get him on the phone fast, I can just say, hey, Google, call house. Wake him up, I have to talk to him.

A little help, hands free. Just say, hey, Google, to get started. All right, it's Shea time. Shea Serrano's series, new book called Movies and Other Things that came out this week. He's on a little book tour. I don't know how we were able to book him, but we pulled it off.

Congrats on the new book. The first book on the Ringer Books imprint, we should mention. The first book, yes. I know you're more excited to remember the Titans on the rewatchables, even though you're still mad at me and Rembrandt, but this is a good consolation prize. Yeah, I'm still very upset.

I've been commiserating with my Remember the Titan friends over email about how much we dislike both of y'all right now. If there's tension in the room right now, that's what it is. We were hard on the movie at the very beginning, but then we were really nice about the movie the whole way. I got a couple emails from people like, hey man, you guys killed that movie. I was like, no we didn't.

We just mentioned all of the truth flaws. So here's the thing. There's like a psychological phenomenon called the primacy-recency effect. I learned about this when I was in school. And if you're going to bash something, you do it in the middle. You don't show up and bash it because people remember and you don't end with the bashing.

You do it in the middle because people forget that part. You show up nice, mean, nice. Okay. And you showed up mean and now we're never going to forgive you. I'm sorry. Remember the Titans fans. We're doing a gimmick

that we were talking about. Fictional movie events that we wish we could have seen in person. Correct. It's mostly sports, but it doesn't necessarily totally always have to be sports. No.

But I think it should be, have some sort of competitive bent. Yeah, absolutely. This is the thing you asked in passing during Bloodsport, the Bloodsport podcast, and I've not stopped thinking about it since. And I think that this is like a good example of the way that, I don't know,

I always feel like I'm chasing you in this respect where you just will real quickly come up with a thing that it would have taken me six hours to think of and you said it in there and I was so mad after you said it

because I was like this should have been a chapter I was insanely jealous put it in the paperback yeah I mean you don't have a paperback

I don't want to steal your idea but I wanted to steal your idea I feel like I've done this before in a mailbag in like 1892 before pre-internet I did some version of this I made my list you made yours but I wanted to steal your idea. I feel like I've done this before in a mailbag in like 1892,

before pre-internet. I did some version of this. I made my list. You made yours. Do you want to go, you do one, I do one? Do you want to say we're ranking these? No, we're just going to pick like these are the three that I would like to go to. Okay.

I got a few. I have six. Okay. I've got a bunch, but some of them I'm just sort of throwing out there. I would like to watch for the spectacle. Great. All right.

What's your first one? All right. I want to watch the Running Man competition. Oh. We're going to just start in a very dark corner. Yeah. I'm going to watch some people get killed. I've never seen a person get killed.

Are you in the Running Man or you're just a viewer? No, absolutely not. You're like courtside seats. I want to be like one of the rich people cheering like, yeah, let's kill all these poor people. I want to be on that side of the equation for once. You know what I'm saying? Okay.

Because it is a movie. You're allowed to do that. Yes. My first one, I have six. And I could add more. I think the original longest yard, 1974 Burt Reynolds, which is one of my favorite movies ever. Just and I could add more I think the the original Longest Yard 1974 Burt Reynolds which is one of my

favorite movies ever just Prisoners Against the Guards great idea great atmosphere you have an all male crowd so you have like

even the cheerleaders had to be it's just the vibe of that had to have been nuts there's guns it's dangerous yes the game's being fixed and then all of a sudden it's not being fixed right It's just the vibe of that had to have been nuts. There's guns. It's dangerous. Yes.

The game's being fixed. And then all of a sudden it's not being fixed. Right. And then the last play of just, it's called the longest yard for a reason, Shay, where Paul Crew, he goes right, he goes left, he jumps over, he gets it. And then really almost gets shot and killed at the end. All of that would have been amazing to see.

It would have been very fun to watch. It would have felt, I imagine, what it feels like today to go to like a UFC event. Like that's the exact same kind of, we're probably going to try to start a fight on the way out of here. So good. Such a great idea for a movie.

Yes. And I actually think you can make that. I want to do this on the rewatchables at some point. You can make a case that that movie created sports movies. All right. There's a legitimate before and after where kind of the script of the underdogs battling some sort of evil force.

Now we're in a Rocky. Now we're into Slapshot. And it's just over and over again of the underdog that is able to get their shit together. It just hadn't really happened until that movie. All right. What's your next one? All right. I'm in on that one.

I had that one on my list. I'm going to take that one off my list. I'm going on that one I had that one on my list I'm gonna take that one off my list I'm gonna go again this is a movie and I don't have to worry about like the moral implications of murder

I wanna watch Commodus vs. Maximus in Gladiator I wanna see that big I need to see that fight I need to see the Spaniard whose wife and child were murdered

by the evil this is assuming we have the backstory here and I can sit there and like, you know, Bob Ryan was covering this at the time. And I know all of the details. I would like to see this. So you would have rather been at that one

and not Russell Crowe going, when like tigers are involved, when he just cleans house. And then it's like, you will reveal yourself. And he takes his mask off. He's like, I am Maximus. I will avenge my whatever, whatever I haven't seen in a while.

But you wouldn't rather have been in that one, the reveal? No, no. That it's Maximus all along. You want the ending. I want to show up after the whole story has been laid out for me. Got it.

I don't want to be like surprised at the end. I want to enjoy. I want to enjoy all of the pieces. I want to hear about this gladiator who decided to take on the horde by himself to save his men and he just murders everyone. I want to hear the rumor building up about

this guy and then find out that this is who it is. The person we all thought was dead and now he's going to take on the emperor. Yeah, sign me up for that one. That's a good one. The internet the next day would have been interesting with that fight. Would have gone nuts.

You know, because Maximus dies. It's like... He does. And in his last... Does that count as a win when he died immediately after? I don't know. In his last bit of life,

freeze his men. Right. Come on. My next one, I'm going to Vision Quest, another 80s movie. The greatest wrestling movie of all time by far.

One of the great premises of a sports movie we've had. There's this undefeated, incredible wrestler in Washington. The state Washington, not Washington DC. Shoot, Brian Shoot. Loudon Swain is about to be a senior. He wrestles at some higher weight level. I can't remember. I think he's at

190. He's up there. And he's like, I'm dropping weight to fight Shoot. Getting down to 168. You can't remember. I think he's at 190. He's up there. And he's like, I'm dropping weight to fight shoot. I'm getting down to 168. You can't get down to 168. He's like, I'm fucking doing it. Nobody's beating shoot. And this whole movie,

he's losing weight. He falls in love with somebody who moves in this house. This movie's awesome. But it all leads to the big fight. And everybody who cares about him is there. Shoot's unbeatable. And then it's like, but I covered wrestling a few times when I worked for the Boston Herald.

And if you're at the right high school wrestling thing, it's really intense. It's really great. And that one specifically, him coming back from five points the last 30 seconds left like that. Yeah. Sign me up. Where is the, so like high school football in Texas is like the thing. Yeah. Where is it?

Where is high school wrestling? I imagine there's like a pocket where this is all we're worried about. Oh, that's interesting. I always thought it was like little East Coast pockets and little West Coast pockets. It seems like Northeast. But it's like how like lacrosse is a Baltimore sport and stuff like that. I don't really know where the wrestling pocket is. All I know is thank God it's in California because my son would have been

doing it from like age two. Thank God. Because he would get those weird ears. Every story I've heard about Ben Simmons leads me to believe. It's going to happen anyway.

It's going to. He's headed in that direction. What's your next one? In that direction. You know what? I'm stuck between these two. I'm stuck between either the Space Jam

basketball game or the Happy Gilmore versus Shooter McGavin. I think I'm going Happy versus Shooter. What an amazing ending. He's going to putt around the obstruction. There's a giant in there. There's like a...

I'm really interested in the stories that have the most build up into it. Space Jam is like, oh, it's cartoons and aliens and like, I don't know. There's a little too much going on there. Is it cartoon Shea or real Shea at that game? I hope it would be cartoon me. Yeah. And I could just

fucking, yeah. I would be, I would find, for real cartoon Shea is six foot three. That's like my lie on the internet, but my cartoon avatar, I've never been playing like, you know, 2K and building my character. I'm like,

let me make him 5'7". By the way, speaking of giant Latinos, big night for you last night. Big night, Bill. Big night. I can't believe it. I was the most excited person

in your life about this. I imagine you were. So you've done the book signing thing. They show up, there's like a line of people. Yeah. Somebody's handing you a book

and it's got like a posted note with a name written on it. This is the best part of this thing. A woman sets a book down on a table. I get it. I look at the Post-it note and it says, they wrote Popeye on the Post-it note, Bill. Popeye on the Post-it note. So your head jerks up.

You're like, it's not really Popeye. I'm like, how many people can be named Popeye? And I look up and he's standing right there. Popeye from Blood In Blood Out. Your favorite movie. My favorite movie of all time. One of the most interesting characters in the movie. And I lost my shit.

Like I was totally, all the way completely starstruck. The day before I had met Donald Faison, Turk from Scrubs, also one of my favorites. And I thought I was starstruck in that moment. I loved that guy. But seeing Popeye in real life I thought I was starstruck in that moment I love that guy but seeing Popeye in real life like I was shaking

I was I could feel my heart beating he just showed up I love him if this doesn't get blood in blood out on a streaming Amazon

Hulu Netflix one of you losers I'm starting my own streaming service let's go this way I think this is fair Amazon

are you racist why aren't you streaming butt in butt out it's a popular successful movie all right bob billy bob thornton was on my podcast saying he's a hero in the latino community because he was in that movie amazon where are you you don't care about latin america come on amazon get it together what the hell you don't care about me? You don't care about Mexican-Americans? Stream that movie. Next one for me. The Kumite semifinals.

Not the finals. Ray Jackson versus Chong Li? No, this is semifinals. This is Chong Li kills a guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Frank Dux gets through. Quarterfinals, I'm thinking. Yeah. Frank Dux gets through and then right away'm thinking yeah Frank Dux gets through and then right away

I get another match and Chong Li kills a guy and then I get to turn my back on him with everybody else and just say the prayer or whatever

and Chong Li tells me to fuck off and he storms off I want to be at that one that's a good pick because you're actively engaged in it the back turning is like

it's great you want to be able to say you turned your back on Chaka. Yeah, then I'm trying to get tickets for the finals, like the whole thing. But semis are where it's at. Yeah, yeah.

That's like my argument that I think game six is better than game seven because there's one more afterward. Yeah. All right. It's the anticipation. The other one I have

in that respect is, I was trying to pick which Rocky fight I would want to be at the most. And it really comes down to this. He ended the Cold War. He really did. He did. What's the other

one you're choosing? I mean, like if you're arguing I think Rocky 2 would have been amazing. Yeah. Because he actually wins the belt and it's in Philly and there's you know, there's the hype for it. It's a better fight than Rocky 1. Rocky 1 is just getting the shit kicked out of him for like 13 rounds.

But I think going to Russia, I think Rocky winning over the Russian crowd, which is still the most improbable scene in the history of movies. The guy from the top coming down, yelling at him and Drago lifting the guy up and throwing him. In a boxing, that's hard to grab somebody by the throat.

And then the if I can change, you can change. Everyone can change speech. And Russians chanting for Rocky. I would have liked to have been there. And there's so much baked into that one. You have his best friend getting killed by the guy. You have Rocky. I always forget about this until I rewatch it. He was the

champ at the time and he's like, I'm vacating my title to fight this guy. It's a whole, I'm doing it for free. He vacates the title and fights for free. That's how much he wants. This was not the player empowerment era. No,

no, no, no, no, not at all. It was a bad job by him. He should have made a lot more money. That's a,

that's a good pick. I'm going to, I'm going to piggyback off of, off of that one. Um, you're going to watch that one. I want to see baby Creed versus Baby Drago. Creed 2. That fight.

Because in this one, you already have the baked in history of the Drago-Creed family. But also, a thing that I forget until I rewatch it, is that Creed should have lost the first fight to Drago. He won on a technicality. Drago hit him while he was down.

So everybody's already talking shit that Drago should be the champion. You're going to have to like rebuild yourself. You're going in here, your ribs are shattered to dust. Yeah. You're just fighting this fucking horse of a guy. I would like to be there for that one.

It's a good one because baby Drago is arguably the most imposing person who's ever boxed in a movie. He's one of those where you're watching like, oh, nobody would actually beat this guy. No, not at all. In real life.

My number two, my runner-up choice, the All-Valley Karate 1984. All right, I knew it has to be on here somewhere. I'm waiting for it. I was waiting for it. Not only do you get the incredible final match, but you also get the disappointment before that final match of just a complete cheap shot knocks Daniel-san out.

That's big. You think it's over at that point. And then it's like, all right, should we stay for the trophy celebration? They're going to give these assholes the trophy. They clearly maimed Daniel-san intentionally. You're all standing around. Let's wait. This is how I know the Americans are less noble than the Asians.

Because nobody turned their back on Johnny like they did Chong Li. In the comité. Yeah. Should have happened. We'll never know because he didn't actually get the trophy celebration. So we're waiting. It's like, all right. And then he's like, what?

Elizabeth Shue runs out. Daniel LaRusso's going to fight. Daniel LaRusso's going to fight? Oh, I love that line. What a moment. And then he comes out. If you're there, you're like, wow, this is the single greatest thing that ever could have happened to me at a high school event. Leaving early right there is like leaving at, what was it?

Mark Wahlberg left at halftime of the Super Bowl. Or the Ray Allen shot. Or the Ray. I mean, we'd have to talk about that one. We could have said like a thousand other ones. Yeah, yeah. You could just let that one out. I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, I forgot. I'm throwing you a compliment. And here you come over the top. As usual. All right. I got a good one for you. I knew this one wasn. Yeah, I forgot. I'm throwing you a compliment and here you come over the top as usual. All right, I got a good one for you. I knew this one wasn't going to come up. I'm excited about it. Also a karate tournament. This is the martial arts tournament, 1989.

America versus Korea. Oh yeah. Best of the best. I don't like this though because I think he should have finished them. Alex Grady, Tommy Lee, Travis, Virgil, Sonny. Amad Rashad is a broadcaster. He's great. Tommy Lee, Travis, Virgil, Sonny, Ahmad Rashad is a broadcaster. He's great. Tommy Lee

has to fight against a guy who killed his brother in a similar tournament. Finish him. No mercy. He would have killed him. It's got to happen. No, because Dejan shows up. Dejan is the guy he's fighting. Dejan shows up in part two to help. We need that

moment. I don't feel like Best of the Best has had the legs that it should have. It should have, absolutely. Eric Roberts is phenomenal in this movie.

I don't know why Bloodsport had legs. Best of the Best, not the same legs. Oh, because you have Jean-Claude Van Damme. To me, it's like 1A, 1B. No, I get it,

but at the very least, it should have at least drafted on the fumes. We should be talking about that. Yeah. Karate movies are like a big thing. I love this moment. I love him letting Dejan live.

I love like, cause they, they, they give you like a glimpse of it early in the movie before he knocks the guy out with the kick. He does like a little foot turn and face hardens and he does the exact same thing. And then Eric Roberts is on the sideline.

Just go like, no, no, Tommy, coach, no. And he's just waiting and you're watching. Even now,

I'm still expecting him to kick him in the chest to just fucking kick the heart out of his back and he doesn't do it and he drops his head and that would be like

cool enough but then at the end, you have this beautiful moment where Dae Han comes limping over and he puts the medal on him and he apologizes for killing his brother. And it's just like, oh, wow, this is beautiful. We got layers on this one.

It's a good one. I have one more runner up that I just thought of as we're talking about this. I should have mentioned earlier, but I'll put it here. The final scene in 1982, Bad Boys, when Sean Penn and S.I. Morales end up in the same juvenile detention center. Sean Penn has inadvertently murdered S.I. Morales' little brother

in a car accident after he hijacked, he stole some liquor thing. S.I. Morales got his revenge by sexually assaulting Sean Penn's girlfriend. A little rough. Tough watch. Would have maybe done A little rough. Tough watch. Would have maybe done that part differently. Tough watch.

But they end up in the same juvie thing, and they're trying to transfer S.I. Morales out. On the day before he's about to go that night, he goes to kill Sean Penn. Sean Penn's waiting for him. Incredible fight. Now, the catch here is you would have to be one of the juvie people to actually witness the fight at the same time.

Amazing. Cause it's leading the whole movie is leading up to the fight for an hour and a half. That's a, that's a, that's a good pick. If we're just adding in prison fights that we can watch though. That's my favorite prison fight.

I would have wanted to be there. What, what is yours different? I've got two different ones. I've got number one, death warrant, Jean-Claude Van Damme versus the Sandman. Okay. I would have wanted to be there. What, what is yours? I've got two different ones. I've got number one, death warrant, Jean-Claude Van Damme versus the sand man. Okay.

I want to see that one. He like kicks them into a furnace. Yeah. And then the guy comes back out and keeps fighting. I also want to see Wesley Snipes and Bing Rames undisputed. Yeah. Underground boxing in prison. Terrible movie.

Great. Last 20 minutes. You don't have to like, you don't have to be a prisoner in that one. You could just be like a rich guy wandering in. good point all right what's your last one my last one this is the one i'm most excited about so much backstory here game seven racing bells versus rockford peaches dotty and may dotty and kit a league of their own dueling sisters Dottie league MVP unstoppable force kit underdog maybe an all-star like borderline all-star they're on the same team Dottie has a Dottie asked to be traded after they

get in a big fight the team is like we would never trade you you're the MVP they they trade kit it starts this whole war yeah they're just going back and forth Tom Hanks is the coach they somehow both of those teams end up in the World Series. Dottie ditches the team before the World Series starts. She misses games 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Shows up for game 7. Kit happens to be the starting pitcher in this game. Dottie's team is down 1-0 in the eighth inning.

Point breaks Lori Petty. Lori Petty. Is she point breaks Lori Petty or a league of their own? She's a league of their own. She's not point breaks Lori Petty. Lori Petty. Is she point breaks Lori Petty or a league of their own She's a league of their own. She's not point breaks Lori Petty? I don't think so, no. I feel like, to me, she's point breaks Lori Petty,

but go ahead. So, Dottie is at the plate. Two runs on. Hits a, you know, go ahead run to put him up. She hits a fucking screamer right at Kit. Almost takes her head off.

Kit has a breakdown in the dugout. Dottie's like, oh my God. Then we have Dottie throwing the game. She loses this on purpose for in Racine's favor. There's so much

in this moment. I feel like it's 50% on purpose and 50% the younger sister just wanted it more. She wanted it more. But there's too much evidence

suggesting otherwise. I wrote this down. I'm going to go through it real quick. Okay. Here's the evidence. Number one, there are multiple times in the movie that Dottie explains she doesn't love baseball. It's just a thing she happens to be good at. She's like, you know, one of these, like, I don't know.

I don't know. They're like basketball equivalent of this. But I don't love baseball. It's just a thing that I like. All right, cool. There's one. Kit loved baseball. This was like her life.

Number two, in the beginning of the movie, her daughter, Dottie's an older woman. Kit, they're trying to get her to go to the Hall of Fame thing. And she's like, there's a lot of reasons I can't go, which to me implies one of these reasons I threw the game. As she's walking to her car,

she tells the two younger kids are playing basketball together. And she tells one of the kids, like, he's smaller than you. You have to give him a chance to shoot. You have to tilt it in there. They're giving you enough here. Also-

You think the internet would write pieces about like, was Dottie a quitter? What's her legacy? Oh, absolutely. Stephen A. Smith's hammering her on first take. For sure. There's a precedent. The exact same play happens earlier in the movie.

Dottie at the plate, protecting it. Third base runner comes around and this other runner is a good 40 pounds heavier than kit. And it's just trucking smashes into it. Dottie is a bank vault. The ball is not coming out. Yeah.

Dottie's too strong. And, and then also there, there's a very clear moment. Dottie sees kit having the breakdown in the dugout. And I think right then is when she knows, like, all right, if I get the chance, I'm going to be a quitter.

I'm going to let Kit have her moment. And that was the end of Dottie's baseball career. You'd have rather been at that game than Kumite? I think so. Because it's just more build-up. Like, oh my God. There's like seven oh my God moments. Like, oh my God, Kit's back. Oh my God. What about, oh my God, Chung oh my god kids back oh my god what about oh my god

Chung Lee killed a guy I mean that's a big one I already have enough fighting ones though like I want a full series here's my number one you're probably not a fan of this movie

give it to me the final game of victory with Sylvester Stallone 1982 soccer movie is this what you picked for your last one oh my god alright

you just picked a league of their own talk me through it a league of their own League of Their Own. Talk me through it. A League of Their Own is an incredible movie. We're in World War II. Okay. I forgot about that.

We have Nazis. Okay. We have allies in prison. High stakes. They decide to boost the morale of the allies. They're going to have a soccer game

and they're going to put in this big ass stadium. They give the allies like malnourished people from Poland, all this stuff, because they don't want them to have a good team. The allies plan an escape. Pele is on this team.

Pele, the greatest soccer player of all time. He has to act. He has lines. You're making a good case right now. They go to the game. At halftime, they're going to escape. Sly Stallone is now the goalie because he's the person who could do the mistake.

So they convince the Irish goalie to break his arm so he's out. Yeah. Because the moral of this movie is just convince the dumb Irish guy to do something.

I'm 25% Irish. Just say, oh, he'll agree. He won't get to escape but he'll have a broken arm so he'll be fine. Yeah. I don't know how that made sense.

They go into the game. Sly Stallone barely knows how to play goalie. They give up four goals. And you have the, the Nazi officials just letting everything go. Cheap shots. Two guys get hurt near the tail end of the game.

They don't call offsides on Nazis. No, no. It's the Nazis are just being Nazis. Okay. End of the first half. Beautiful counter. Great goal.

Four, one. Crowd's gone bonkers. Now it's time to escape. Right. They decide not to escape. They keep going. We can beat these guys.

Go back in. 4-2. 4-3. 4-4. Oh, no. 4-3. They get the tying goal. Evil Nazi ref comes in.

No, no, no. Offside. Right, right. Peé, broken ribs from earlier because the Nazis have taken him out. He's like, I got to go back in. Goes back in, bicycle kick to tie the game. The evil Nazi refs are like, no, no, you're still not winning. Cheap penalty foul, penalty kick. Time has expired. Slice the loan down, stop a penalty kick. Everyone in the audience- That's big.

Now sings the French national anthem. All right, you're convincing me. The entire crowd now singing the entire French national anthem to fire Sly up. Sly catches the penalty kick. Everyone charges the field. And then they just decide to all escape. They overpower the guards and they run for freedom.

That's where I would want to be because I get to see an awesome game. Yeah. The allies tie the Nazis, but really they won and I get to escape. What's better than that?

I think, I think it's a solid case. I think you might have convinced me on that one I'm gonna go to that game with you because you're free if you text me

you're free alright the Nazis have lost alright alright alright there's also in that movie there's a good Nazi which is a really controversial character

the one Nazi who also appreciates soccer right so at the end Pele makes the bicycle kick and the good Nazi is like wow that was great

he stands up does the applaud and all the other Nazis are like what bicycle kick and the good Nazi's like, well, that was great. He stands up, does the plot. And all the other Nazis are like, what the fuck, dude? The only thing I like more than, you know. Evil Nazis are the good Nazis? Racism is like a good 442 formation.

That's what he's saying in his head. You gotta respect it. It's an amazing movie. And I always wondered what it would have been like to be there. Movies and other things. Where's the book tour going? Next up, we're in Seattle on Friday.

Great city. We love Seattle. Austin, Houston, Dallas. San Antonio, I've heard of. Yeah. It's going to be good. It's going to be good. San Antonio feels like a home game.

Go buy a book, baby. Oh, Bill, this is crazy. We just found this out this week. Yeah. If this book makes the bestseller list, we will be the first time ever in the 88-year history of the New York Times bestselling list,

Mexican-American will have three books that have made the list. It's never happened. Really? Ever in 88 years. Do you think this will get Amazon to put Blood In, Blood Out on streaming? If this doesn't, nothing will.

Shea Serrato, good luck. Thank you so much. Hey, Nick Kroll is coming in one second first. According to the FBI, burglary happens an average of once every 23 seconds in the US, yet only one in five homes has home security. Maybe it's because most companies really don't make it easy. That's why SimpliSafe is my top choice. Hands down, SimpliSafe protects every door, window, and room with 24-7 professional monitoring

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What the age range for Big Mouth. Yeah. I mean, I know, I know adults are watching, but it's really like 10 to 15. It's become that show. We talked about this last time. Yes. And now it's even crazier now. Is it? I didn't know it was going as low as 10, but that's.

Oh, it sure is, my friend. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah. Because there's that extra three years of people who shouldn't be watching the show yet. Well, it's also like younger siblings. So it's like yes 13 14 year olds start to watch and then they like the little brother little sister like well if he gets

to watch then i should be able to watch it yeah that's how i watched everything like you know like so that so i just want to catch up you want to be advanced well i like two years ahead that's how i watch like porkies and hot dog the movie and all those movies when I was like nine yeah seven you know God bless Hot Dog the Movie oh my god my brother also

showed me though The Exorcist when I was five oh that's not good that did not that didn't was not led led to a good

taste in my mouth for horror films yeah that's bad but Hot Dog the Movie great taste yeah I've been in love with ski movies

ever since. It's 35th anniversary. I don't know why we're not celebrating it. No, it was 1984. Yeah. Man, there you go. It's one of the great things of 1984. So I was on, as I've told you before, my son obviously is watching this, but I was on a

soccer trip with my daughter. Uh-huh. And all of our team were staying in a hotel. We were staying overnight because it's one of those things. And all the parents are downstairs and the kids are all in my room and i go back to get something and i'm trying to get in with the key card and i hear all the kids turn off turn off turn off and they couldn't turn off whatever they're watching open up and it's your show and it's right as somebody's like and that's why you have to lick her pussy and they all start laughing i'm

like what are you guys watching and And they're like, ah. And I'm like, are you watching Big Mouth? Yeah. How old are they? That was 13-year-olds. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

But they thought they were in trouble. And I'm like, I'm cool. I'm not going to tell anybody. We're good. I'm the cool dad. Yeah, we're cool. I mean, I think there's something to the idea when you're that age, especially of like, what's the thing right above me that I shouldn't be like, what's the thing I should, the thing right

above me that I shouldn't be watching. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah. Like when I was a kid, I was a little South park was already, I was in high school or college. So it wasn't that, but if I had been that, it would have been South park. It would have been that show or that thing. That's like, it's just out of reach for what you think you should be watching or that you think your parents are going to be mad at. Yeah. And I think, I guess we seem to be fitting right into that sweet spot. Well, in the 80s, it was movies. Yes, exactly. And I guess like HBO had first and 10,

but that wasn't like smart. It just had, you know, boobs every once in a while. Yeah. But I remember like late night being, because I didn't have cable growing up, but I'd go to my friend's house and watch HBO and it would be like Rambos, even stuff like that where I'm like,

I'm too young to be watching Rambo, but I'm going to watch it, you know? But it was more of the, it was more that Porky's era of all of those movies, which they made for years and years and years.

Yes. Porky's for sure. And that was like, for me, that was like sleepover movies. That was like, I was at someone's house and like,

they had older brothers and the parents were away and so I feel honored to be in that in that uh that realm of the things that kids are worried I mean so but I will say like we're very now season one we made it we kind of were just making it for us like we're making it for people like who I, my friends and maybe, you know, younger into college or whatever. We didn't know kids would be watching it, but we were trying to be responsible to it. And now we're aware of it.

And we are trying to be aware that kids might be watching. So like whatever we're saying is on some sort of like scale of the, what the message is, is like a decent message. Does that make sense? Does that compromise the show though?

Are you in the writer's room? Like, oh. Well, we're like, I will have moments where I'm like, we are delving into after school special now. Yeah. And so we will pull back off of that. Like it has to be funny first. If it's not funny, then it doesn't get in.

But once it's funny, we are trying to make sure that what we're saying, if a kid is watching, that the lesson or the message they're getting is one that we are comfortable with. Right. But never at the expense of it being funny. Like, it has to be funny. My son had this, they had like a birds and the bees thing. This was I think at the end of fifth grade last year where, you know, the school it's not like they're going to explain sex, but they're going to talk about it a little bit.

Yeah. So they asked the kids, like, and when you call them, there's going to be a question. Or you can ask a question if you want. And so he was telling us about this and I was like, is this going to be weird, this thing? He's like, no, I've learned everything from Big Mouth already. this and I was like, is this going to be weird? This thing?

He's like, no, I've learned everything from Big Mouth already. And then we were like, what's your question going to be? And he goes, I'm going to ask how to clean up a wet dream. And I was like, don't ask that. That's going to go terribly. Please don't do that. So I think we talked about that one. But that's your influence well i'm

11 at the time but we are you know we're breaking the ice we're breaking the ice for giving you the opportunity to tell your son how to clean up his wet dream yeah i'm not ready yet no yeah sitting right over there watching two thumbs up uh the answer, the answer is stuff it into the pantry and don't say a word. And like someone will clean it up and it will be discussed or not. Or frame one of your siblings for it. Yeah.

Or dump water on the sheet afterwards. Like, oops, I spilled. I guess I got to clean this up. I've spilled four gallons of water on my sheets. Sorry about this vanilla. I spilled a Diet Coke. about this vanilla ice cream and dyed Coke on here. Root beer float before bed in the morning. It is crazy though. I mean, everybody had different ways to learn about sex and all different.

For me, it was like, you know, my dad, I think he was getting Playboy or somebody was and just reading like the letters uh-huh yes you know and you're tanning be like oh my god what does that mean stimulate the blah blah blah yeah oh my god the penthouse forums yeah all that stuff yeah so andrew my partner in the show his dad had every playboy from like 1970 to like 1990 or something like that. And he kept them in a crawl space like inside of Andrew's closet. So Andrew discovered them when he was like around that age.

Crawl space. You know what I mean? It was like a dirty little crawl space. What a great thing to find in a crawl space compared to what the possible alternatives are. I found a skeleton. I know, like a decomposing body. No, I found all of his dad's Playboys.

And he would, his dad, he found all of his dad's playboys and he, and he would, of course he was, he, he, you know, he, he chucked, he checked him out.

And then his dad found out because the way his dad found out is because they were, they were no longer in like numerical order. Like his dad was like, catch him like a serial killer. Yeah. And he was the only thing he was mad at. Not that his son was like stealing his playboys to jerk off, but that he wasn't putting him

back in like perfect numerical order. It's just like an OCD perv. He's like, where's number 27? Yeah. Where's, yeah. Where's fall not 71. The biggest bush in the world. Sorry that your son's here.

No, he's, he's heard it all. Thanks to you. Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm going to tell a terrible Sorry that your son's here. No, he's heard it all. Thanks to you. Yeah, sorry about that. I'm going to tell a terrible story about my son. Okay. Which I couldn't tell on Parent Corner because we have a sponsor for it. Okay, great. So we're at, this is terrible.

I can't believe I'm telling this story. He's like, what are you doing me? So we go, my wife was away last weekend and we went to get sushi. Mm-hmm. The day before Big Mouth had come out, he watched two episodes that night. Nice. Woke up at 4.30 in the morning to start banging out the rest and was done by what? Four o'clock you were done?

So then we're eating sushi and they're bringing it out. You know, we got the omakase thing. So they were like, oh, this is this. There's the yellow tail. You never know what the next one is. So finally they bring out sea urchin. And it's on the thing. And you get it.

And I'm like, I don't know if you guys are going to like this. And they're like, we'll try it. We'll try it. So he bites into it. And immediately he's like, this is terrible. And spits it in a nap bites into it and immediately is like, this is terrible and spits in a napkin. And he goes, oh my God, I hope that's not what pussy tastes like. Now I'm afraid.

And my daughter and I were like, that's easily the worst thing anyone's ever said ever. And then we're like, oh, you just watched Big Mouth. Yeah. So I was like, fucking Nick Kroll. People are turning, looking at us. So that's you.

I blame you. Yes. I can tell you. I'm just going to do it because we're here. Pussy tastes a lot better than uni. That's what I will say. I've never regretted eating pussy. Uni. Seerchin. Seerchin. I, uh, I've never regretted eating pussy. Ooni.

Sea urchin. Sea urchin. Sea urchin. Sea urchin. I've made some questionable mistakes in that, in that realm. So anyway, that was the greatest moment I've ever had in a sushi restaurant. Oh my God. That's wild.

The good thing is my daughter thought it was hilarious. Okay, good. I felt like she should have been the most offended. She was. I think two waitresses were incredibly offended, but it was fine because we'd gotten most of our food already. Yeah. So there you go. Well, there we are.

So congrats on that. Thank you. But yeah, season three was a big deal. Okay, good. And it's fun because the first show, the first season comes out. Yeah. People are like, what's this?

Yeah. Oh, Nick Crowe, John Mulaney. I like those guys. They try it. Yeah. Then season two, it's like, ah, could it be as good as season those guys they try it yeah in season two it's like ah could it be a good season one yeah now it's like it feels like you could do 10 seasons well I think we're you know we're it's a it's such a interesting thing because you're always trying to figure out like how many do you have in the how many stories do you have

you know what I mean every show I think is like it do do we have enough and I think we've got a lot more stories that we want to tell and a lot more sort of areas to hit. And it's just such a rich area of kids like in this puberty, but also like identity, figuring out who they are, what they want to be. And then, you know, we have some episodes this season, like you go back to Duke Ellington losing his virginity and going back to like, you know, Washington, D Washington DC, Atlantic city, 1913. So we, it's starting to be able to play with the form more.

Um, but, and I love that Duke episode. I actually, and then there's the like disclosure, the musical episode. And do you remember disclosure? Do you remember when it came out? The movie?

Yeah. Oh God. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's weirdly one of the most dated movies of all time. It feels like it came out 230 years ago. It's crazy.

He's using the internet with gloves. Yeah, and he goes into the internet only to go into a virtual file cabinet. Yeah. Inside of it. It's very weird. That movie in the net came out within a year. And it was both like imagining the worst possible weirdest ways we'd use the internet. And it was never just, yeah, you're just going to be on a computer typing.

Yeah, no, it's always this extra level of it. It was like in that period of time, those period of movies where Michael Douglas was too sexy for his own good. Yeah. You know, it was like. Women couldn't stay away from him. Basic instinct, fatal attraction. And then disclosure was like the final and the trifecta of Michael Douglas. Watch out.

Women are going to want to kill or sue you because you're so hot. You'll throw away your career to get a chance at this guy. It's all going to happen. So we like doing that episode was kind of fun and weird. And, you know, it's just like I think our goal is to keep the beauty of streaming or at least being where we are right now and on Netflix netflix not on network is it doesn't have to be 22 refillable yeah you know like we don't have that pressure so we can really try to take some weird chances and then hopefully keep the show fresh you know so you and you even had a two of the character to the male characters got together oh yeah he's three my son was telling me about it

matter of factly yeah it's like yeah, Jay and the other guy. Yeah, and Matthew has a boyfriend. And like, you know, it's like what kids are going through now. And like, we're trying to like, you know, my goal is like, you know, everybody's doing their thing, figuring out who they are and try not to lay too much judgment on it and let everybody figure it out, you know? And you, there was a little pushback on how you handled that,

but it seemed, it seems slightly unfair. It was, it was, the pushback was about, um, Ali Wong is on the show as a pansexual girl. And so she comes in and really it's partly in service to Jay,

who is bisexual, or he thinks he's figuring out what his sexuality is. So she comes in and she says, I'm pansexual. I like everything. You're bisexual. Bisexual is very binary. You like men and women. And we put out, Netflix put out that clip of it. And when you look at it out of context, it was people in the bi community were saying and that it felt like it was limiting that bi actually means that two or more genders, like that it's a much more fluid.

I didn't mean for you to have to go into this. I know, I know, but I'm so subsumed in it now. And I don't know if you've dealt with it where you get something pops on you and you're like, okay, I got to like. You're on the hamster wheel. Yeah. But it was interesting because it was, and we apologized for it because honestly, we were like, you know what? We could have done this definition better.

We are hearing what you're saying and we'll try to do better. It's a complicated thing talking about this, the human sexuality. It's a complicated thing to talk about this, the human sexuality. It's challenging. And for, at least for me, I was like, you know, it's weird that you have this feedback loop that you can put something out and that people can comment to you and you have to deal with that. And, and you can't, I mean, I guess you can ignore it, but it's hard to. So I'm like, all right, where there is this feedback loop where we put something out. You don't like how we define this. We're, we're listening to you. We will try to do better.

But the thing is, the overall mission of the show, I thought it was really important that you tapped into some of this stuff. And the reality is, there's certain people that just are never going to be 100% happy with how you did something. Yes. And that's the balance of like, do we apologize?

Do we respond to this? Or is it just people who are gonna be unhappy with whatever and in this case it seemed like all right well yeah we're we're trying here yeah well that's the thing we'll try to do better next yeah and that's what it is and there were enough people that it was like okay we've clearly hit a nerve let's look at it let's honestly take a look at what we said in the show even if's, even if we eventually say a lot of the things that they were like, why don't you say, talk about this? Like in the episode, we get to that. But I was like, you know what? Sure. Like we're like, but it is this, it's the tricky thing when you are

talking about complex issues, especially around something like human sexuality. And, and right now where so many people are figuring out what their identity is and really defining themselves based on that identity, that we're going to run into things where we're going to get it wrong or that definitions change or that like certain people. I mean, what was interesting is once I started reading into it, you're like, oh, there are differing opinions within this community. Yeah. So there are people in that world.

And what we realized that we were tapping into was something that was really a larger discussion conversation happening independent of our show. And so, you know, it's like, well, we will just try to do better. I think it was important that you did it, though, because I've noticed I have a 11 year old son, 14 year old daughter and granted we're in LA. So things are a little faster here, but, um, and faster,

I mean, just a little more progressive. Um, but I've noticed their attitudes toward all of this stuff is just so different than 35 years ago. Yeah. You're talking about trans kids in their class. Yeah.

It's like, it's not even something they would even talk about. It's like, oh yeah, that person's trans. Yeah. Um, bisexuality,

all these things. It's just part of being in school now. It is a, it is a generational thing. Totally. It is like it, people, pronouns,

all that stuff. Like they don't, they don't even think twice. It's just part of what their life's like. It's, and it's like, and pronouns all that stuff like they don't they don't even think twice it's just part of what their life's like it's and it's like and it's the landscape is changing and like and and i think like there are things that people older than kids today are like what do you mean like that's crazy i support this but come on and and there's plenty of that that is like there are things where every every community and group you're like, there's going to hit a point where you're like, I think this is going too far. But I also think that kids now are so i i'm i don't understand it and it's like it's just generational shit it's like just like when we were growing up and our parents couldn't

understand how we could do x y and z and like their parents before them couldn't understand how they were doing what they were doing and you know it's just like keep shit keeps moving it's crazy because like i think 25 years ago maybe 26 but when Melrose place yeah it was like they're gonna show a gay kiss yeah and then Fox was like no you're not showing that and they had to like cut away from it yeah and it was a big deal and then you just think like the checkpoints we've hit the last two and a half decades I know in the last 10 years and now it'd be like it would honestly be weird if you had a big mouth season and you didn't dive into this well that's what I think we feel like, look,

the show started with about based on me and Andrew Goldberg's childhood and, and our experiences. And we, we had these other characters that we started to explore. And then like, as we continue to build out, that's the beauty of doing a longer, you know, you do more episodes. And all of a sudden you've built an up backstory where you're like, all right, let's find out like, what would it be like for Matthew to be in a relationship? Or like, let's find out like, what would it be like for Matthew to be in a relationship?

Are you like, let's find out like what's going on with Lola. Like, let's see what, like, like, you know what, or, or let's go home with Missy.

Let's, let's see what happens when Missy gets angry. Like how does a girl who's like a sweet, nice dorky girl, like what is it like when she starts to feel anger? Or, or like a girl like Jesse, what it's, what's it like when that girl to feel anger? Uh, or, uh, or like a girl like Jesse, what it's, what's it like when that girl wants to figure out how to masturbate herself or have

an orgasm? It's like, you know, you, you, you, you give yourself this breath to be able to tell these different stories. And, and I think it makes for a much richer kind of, uh, you know, I just think quilt, I think the females on the show should just be a lot more moody based on my own personal experiences. Yeah. My daughter yesterday, like five words total. Really? I was her hero for 12 years. When did it change?

I was the greatest person in life. It started to change over the last two years, but now it's good 80% of the time. Then there's this 20% where it's like, hey, what's going on? I'm fine. Yeah. I'm like, oh, okay, cool. I'll see you later. How is she and your wife getting along? Oh, it's like Iran hey, what's going on? I'm fine. Yeah. I'm like, oh, okay. Cool. I'll see you later. How is she and your wife getting along?

Oh, it's like Iran and Iraq. Yeah. And this guy is still cool. He's cool. He's just referees the whole thing. Yeah. We're going to bring him in in a second, but I wanted to ask you how you get all the celebrities.

We've been very lucky. It's like a shocking amount of people that everybody either likes or finds funny or is on their way up or whatever. Yeah, well, we got... I mean, we put together the show really is like, honestly, my friends. The original cast, all those people,

Jason Manzoukas, John Mulaney, Jesse Klein, Jenny Slate, Jordan Peele, Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, they're all people. The first five names are the people I went to college with, John Mulaney. It's like your generation. It's my crew. Jesse and I met early on.

Jenny and I. I mean, those are all. And then, like, over the last 10 years, I've become friends with Jordan and Maya and Fred. And then after that, we just started bringing people in. And I think people saw season one and like the show. And then, and sometimes it's like Tandy Newton who plays, uh, Missy's hormone monstrous, um, who's on Westworld and done a ton of stuff, like got the call about the show, liked it. And then, and then her daughter was like a massive fan. So it's like, we're, we have that version of it where it's like, you know, but you're like, my kid loves the show.

So it adds that level of people wanting to be involved. And you probably have people just volunteering to be on. Yeah, we've got nice incoming stuff now where people are like, you ever want us? All the rappers want to be on the show, which is the funniest. Like Lil Yachty, Tyler, the creator, those guys are in touch. Yeah, and that makes me very happy. But it probably, there's some that are probably awkward where they're definitely not going to be on the show, but you have to pretend.

Yeah. Yeah. That'd be great. Yeah. Let me, let me get your number. But it is, I will say this, like it's an interesting thing in Hollywood. I think it's, I've seen it when it's incoming where someone's like, hey, I'd love to be on the show.

And you're like, great. We'll keep you in mind. And it's like, there's an ego thing that you have to swallow to be like, I would love to be a part of your thing. But I find that, like, it's nice. Then now those guys are like, I want to be on that show. And I'm like, cool. When I'm thinking about creating a character, like, it never hurts to know that person would be interested, you know? And then the Queer Eye guys came and did the show this year, and they're great.

And who else? I mean, Carole Kane. I mean, there are people who I'm like sex about. Carole Kane plays the menopause banshee. I mean, Carole Kane, amazing. Yeah, amazing. Martin Short. Going way back.

Martin Short plays the Canadian moose masseuse turned illusionist struggling with his sexuality. Do you let them ad lib at all? Sure. Always. Our, our, you know, whenever we have people coming in and whenever possible, we, we, uh, record together. So like, if I, if I can, it's me and Jason are in the booth together. Me and John are in the booth together. Jenny, you know, me and Maya, if we like whenever possible, cause we always will improvise and find stuff together. So like the whole reason I'm hiring or bringing in those people is because they're genius comedy minds. And we try to write the best script we can.

I never want anyone to feel like they have to improvise, but I want to bring in there. And then slowly their their things, their quirks start to infuse the character. So Andrew starts one way, and after three seasons with John, like, Andrew has mannerisms that are more like John Mulaney than they are like Andrew Goldberg. You know, Jason Manzoukas, you start to feel, we start

to write to, like, you know, Jason likes to say, like, I cheesed in my jeans. You know? We're like, so we just start writing that Jay says, I cheesed in my jeans, you know? So we're always just trying to bring in those people's vibes, you know? Paul Thomas Anderson? PTA, I would love to. He must love the show.

Well, Maya, you know, Maya's in it. Yeah. I wonder if Paul's. You got to just ask him. Yeah. There's no way he, he's probably waiting to be asked. I will tell you, you know, here's the coolest for me, or I mean, PTA being the coolest,

but also I met Alfonso Cuaron, directed Roma and Gravity. Oh my God. And all those movies. I met him at a Netflix party and he had worked with Mark and Jen, my other partners years ago. And I met him and he was like, he's a, he's a big mouth fan.

And so I was incredible. So I was like, and I met his kids. His son is an animator. His daughter's like super cool. They're teens, like a little older than your kids. And he's like, I watched the show with my kids. I love it. And for me, like that was crazy. That was the craziest to have the guy like who directed, like who won like two Oscars last year being like, oh, you know, like that to me is the fucking cool. That's nuts. I was in I was in Italy with my girlfriend and we were on like a nice like romantic vacation

and he was there and I texted him randomly like, hey, I'm in Italy. Are you here? He's like, yeah, come by. He's in the on the coast. So I rent a car, but I don't know how to drive stick. Oh, no. And I but that was the only car they had. So I like get it. My girlfriend toler don't know how to drive stick. Oh, no. And I but that was the only car they had. So I like get it.

My girlfriend tolerates me like failing to drive stick. Yeah. For two and a half hours to get to Cuaron's house. Two and a half hours. Yeah. But I'm like, I can do it. But it was like stalling the whole way. We get to Cuaron's house.

And he's in a car coming down the hill and it's in this little Italian thing. And my car stalls. And I'm like, you know, and I and I stall going down a hill and it's in this little Italian thing. And my car stalls and I'm like, you know, and I, and I stall going down a hill and I, I don't know, like,

I'm sure you grew up driving sick, but like getting, getting up a hill driving stick. It's, it's, you put some chest hairs on your chest. Oh man. Or it makes you lose all of your hair. So,

so we, I get up the hill. Finally, we have a nice afternoon. It was really, it was so cool. Like he, cause he's, he's such a good chill fucking dude. Yeah. So I get up the hill finally. We have a nice afternoon. It was really, it was so cool. Like, because he's such a good, chill fucking dude.

Yeah. And then we had the nicest time. He's like, all right, I'll walk you out. And we walk out. And he watches me stall. Like, I cannot get the car in gear to get out of his house. And I'm just like, this fucking, you know, I was like, I thought I was becoming friends with this dude.

And now he's watching me stall in my little Fiat because the emergency break was up the whole time anyway oh that was the problem oh that was the problem but it's that's the coolest thing is having like those kind of guys like those guys who I have tremendous respect for say they watch and specifically

Cuaron watches it with his kids you know you have to create a Chang character. I know. Ooh, that's a good idea. Like a little frustrated chef. Yeah. Or just like... Got a tiger mom

just yelling at him on the side. Jacked Asian chugging milk. Playing golf and cooking mac and cheese. Yeah, just screaming at kids on a golf course. Competitively playing golf. I love that story of the Chang that says he drank like a gallon of milk every day and that's why he's bigger than everyone in his family. of course, competitively playing golf. I love that story of the Chang.

This is, but he drank like a gallon of milk every day. And that's why he's bigger than everyone in his family. Yeah. He seems to be convinced. That's true. I know. But, and that boy,

have you seen Hugo? That boy is boy. Yeah. Chang. Yeah. We're talking about David Chang. Yeah. Who's our mutual friend.

Yes. His son. I, the, the, it's my favorite Instagram of all the Instagram. It's the best. He looks like he looks like

he's like a little mini emperor the way he dresses and he's got the perfect big huge he's like a yes he's like a mini

Chang he's a mini David Chang he's just this like and Hugo I don't know he's the cutest but it's fun seeing him as a dad

yeah I've enjoyed it it did all the things I thought would happen with him yeah which is what like did it mellow him out or no? Yeah, it just turned him into a big sap, which I was telling him was going to happen.

Some friends you have were like, oh, man, you're going to turn into a sap when you have a kid. And you just know they're going to do. It happens when people get dogs sometimes, too, where they just turn into saps. Well, sometimes those people who have no feeling, all of a sudden they're like, I got a dog. And like two years later, they're like, I'm not eating meat. And I'm like, what? And they're like, I love my dog so And like two years later, they're like, I'm not eating meat. And I'm like, what? And they're like, I love my dog so much. I can't imagine eating another animal. And I'm like, fuck. My dog's my soulmate. Ben, come on over.

Come on over, Ben. Let's do it. Come on over, Ben. Let's do it. He's been waiting. So patiently to hear. This is exciting. Ben has some questions. Yes. Ben, welcome to the podcast. It's great to be here. You look nervous. I can't believe this. I am. Why are you nervous? This is like the biggest day of's great to be here. You look nervous. I can't believe this. I am.

This is like the biggest day of my life. Come on. What's your number one question? What's going on with Jessie? I mean, is she moving or not? I'm so scared. Nervous, Ben. This is unbelievable.

He never gets nervous. So what's going on with Jessie? So for those who might not know, what would you say has happened to Jesse like this year? A little more depressed from her with Shannon. Yeah. Canardina broke up with Shannon. This guy's got it down. He's watched season three twice. Okay, so you really know. Okay, so Canardina breaks up. Jesse, his parents got divorced. Her mother's having an affair with the cantor at their synagogue. Jesse's mom decides she wants to move into the city, right?

Yeah. And so now Jesse is stuck. We don't, I mean, what do you think is going to happen? They're going to move. Is she moody like Zoe? Yeah. So that's like, that's the Zoe proxy character. Yeah.

If Zoe had a character in Big Mouth. Just say Jessie. Yeah. I've never seen you nervous before. This is unbelievable. He's playing it cool. Nervous Ben. But I got to say, you have a very good breakdown of this. And the depression kitty is Jean Smart, by the way, who is awesome.

Jean Smart. And when she records, Jean Smart's like a cool, really cool actress. She was in Fargo season three, season two. He didn't see that. You know Designing Women, of course. No, you wouldn't know. She's a famous actress from the 80s and 90s. And when she does the depression kitty,

she will like knead the table like she's a little kitty when she does it. And she purrs beautifully. So, Jessie's got some depression um and she's we'll see what happens i mean it's like uh what i mean what are you worried about jesse yeah i'm really worried yeah her to stay what did you think because i was surprised people were you bummed out at the end of the season no you weren't actually yeah yeah wait andrew yeah I was so sad. Yeah.

What were you sad about? Explain it to us. All right. So how this all started was, first of all, disclosure of the play. They were doing that. Yeah. Yeah. And Nick was casted as, well, the main character.

And Missy was the boss, the sexual boss. Yeah. Okay. Michael Douglas to me more. Oh, yeah, yeah. And the play never went on because Mr. Gleiser. Is that his name? Gleiser, yeah. Gleiser, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Michael Douglas to me more. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the play never went on because Mr. Gleiser, is that his name? Gleiser, yeah. Gleiser, yeah.

Yeah. Rob Hubel. It was sexist, I guess. Yeah. And Jesse, Matthew, all those people were not happy. Mm-hmm. And then they did the musical number, which had a kiss in it. This was the season finale?

This was the pre-season finale. Okay. And then they kissed and then Andrew saw it and then he was very mad. Yeah. Oh. Because Nick, Andrew, and Missy have a history together and then Nick makes out. They have a showmance, Nick and Missy in this episode. They're pulling a little early 90s Fox love triangle drama.

Exactly. Very smart. So then the last- But this is Ben's first love triangle. Right. He's not used to triangle drama. Exactly. Very smart. So then the last. This is Ben's first love triangle. Right. I used to love triangles. Right. So then that last, the last episode is the, is the, is you, I mean, I'm curious to hear

your explanation of it. Um, I like the superhero part. Yeah. That's really cool. Yeah. So all the, the final episode of the season is this, all the kids have these sort of superhero roles that they're playing. They all have special powers.

Wow. And it's sort of through the, did you you understand did you see that it was the how the lens like the point of view of how they all why they were all superheroes not really so we have a kid who went over his head well there's a kid who's on the spectrum caleb the kid who yeah yeah that um he can't process like emotions andotions and stuff, yeah. So we were saying like it's his view of what was happening socially in the scene is through superhero narratives. And what's really happening is Nick and Andrew are getting in a fight because Andrew's pissed that he saw Nick make out with Missy. Yeah.

And so the end of the season, I mean, spoilers. I don't know how you do spoilers here, I think. We're good with spoilers. Okay. No, I mean, you can doy. Yeah. And it's, and so the end of the season, I mean, spoilers, I don't know how you do spoilers here. I think we're good with spoilers. Okay. So I mean, you can do it. Yeah. Well,

so it, it just, it, it, they, they're left in a moment where these kids who have been best friends, do you have, do you have best friends?

Yeah. Yeah. I have like two. And would you, he's very, he's very guy code. Yeah. Do you,

are you tight with your boys? Have you had a, have you, yeah. Would you ever make out with your friend's ex? Of course not. There you go. Yeah, he would never do that.

That's good. Yeah. But, so if it happened, if it happened to you, would you be like... I'd be pissed off. He would fight them. I'd go full on Andrew. Yeah, he would fight them. He would flip out.

Ben, give us your predictions for season four. Oh, I think Jesse's gonna move Yeah I think Andrew and Nick are gonna fight I'm praying that they're friends again Oh that's cool They fight then become friends Yeah they were like my favorite people

What about Jay What do you think about I want him to be bisexual I want him to date that girl the new girl Oh Ally Ally. Yes. Ally Wong. Ally Wong plays a bisexual girl.

Okay. And what about Lola? Lola. So much with Lola. I think Lola and Gina should date. Okay, Lola and Gina should date. I like that. It's a free-for-all.

Yeah. You wanted to ask him how he did the voices. Oh, yeah. He doesn't understand how you make different voices that sound. He doesn't understand that talent and how you're just able to do that like a switch. Okay. So let's do, give me a couple. Who do you want to hear?

Let's do a scene. I'll do a scene. I'll do a scene with you where I'll play a couple of different characters. Coach Steve. Coach. All right, my dude. Here we are. You know, Bill Simmons, the ringer, hanging out, Vane's T-shirt, you know.

Oh, my God. I actually really like that T-shirt. It's very cool. And I like your beanie. Your beanie's very cool. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's pretty cool. I mean, it's cold outside. My son's turning red.

It's a little cold out there, man. That's how easy it is. He just turns the switch on. He can do it. You just turn the switch on and the next thing you know, here you are.

Right where you began. So the lesson, Ben, is only a few people in the world can do all these voices like this and become different characters.

Like in South Park, what is Trey's doing? Trey's doing 80% of those? Yeah, he's doing a crazy amount of them. Seth MacFarlane's doing a ton of them. Just some people have this talent. Maybe it'll be you someday. Yeah. That's what I want to do.

Yeah. I mean, I started when I was your age. I was Andrew and I, Andrew Goldberg, who I created the show with. He and I were best friends when I was, when we were your age. And we would watch Saturday Night Live and we watch Wayne's World and we watch all those movies and we would just do sketches together. We'd do bits. Like, if I had been around, if this show had been around, we probably would have done those voices with each other. We started making videos together.

And then. You're doing some of that now already. Yeah. He's got some creative friends because we live in LA. Of course.'s got friends that's amazing movies that's awesome make hip-hop songs and all this stuff and those kids those guys the birth and girls whoever you're making that stuff with like you know those are the people like who you could end up working with like I mean I've known Andrew since first grade so like 25 and then, we'd started doing this kind of stuff together. So you were 13?

13, we started doing like, we would host talent shows as Wayne and Garth. You know, and now 25 years later, we created this show together. So like, those folks you're working with,

your buddies now, like keep making stuff with them and keep fucking around and like start doing those voices now and you'll figure it out. Well, you know what's amazing about his generation? They're so good at just, they just have things at their disposal that you and I did not have. Not at all.

We had the giant heavy camera. Yeah. And then if you actually wanted to edit stuff, you had to get a second VCR, buy the cables that cross them over and just chop edit them. Yeah. His generation, it's like you make iMovie. Yeah. second VCR, buy the cables that cross them over and just shop edit them. His generation, it's like, you make iMovie. Yeah. You can make, you have iPhones that are like nicer than any camera we had in 1991. Well, I remember when I first moved to New York in the early 2000s and I bought a camera to like make auditions and stuff like that.

And the iPhone now is a, and that camera was like $3,000. The iPhone now is a better camera, better sound than anything we were using in 2003. You can just delete a take. Yeah. Go to the next one. He has friends that are like 11 and 12 who can actually legitimately edit movies. They're not like, you know, they're not the godfather. Not yet.

They're movies that are, you know, they're in different scenes and it's actually coherent. So I, my theory is that like 10 years from now, there's going to be all these awesome filmmakers. I think so. Cause they all are getting that. I mean, it's starting to happen now. They're all, are you making stuff? Yeah.

Yeah. Actually, I'm in the middle of a movie right now. Oh yeah. What is it? What's it? Tell them the movie. Yeah. No, you got to tell them the plot.

It's based off this book I'm making. Oh, cool. I love Halloween. Yeah. Because I was almost born on it. Nice. He was. He was three hours away from.

30 or 30. He was November 1st. Okay. But I was really rooting for it because I love Halloween and Michael Myers. Yeah. And I was like, come on, come on. And it's just 3 a.m. He's just three hours late.

Oh, he's a little late. Yeah. But you do love Halloween. So he's making a horror movie right now he loves horror movies explain the plot basically these two kids are best friends from like since they're little kids and a murderer

just landed from outer space and he needs to disguise as like a regular normal person. Mm-hmm. But these kids are catching on to him. And soon the murderer is going to come out and start murdering people. Yeah.

He's like the neighbor and they know it's like something's wrong with the neighbor. Yeah, yeah. Which always works as a plot. What's wrong with that guy? What's he carrying from the trunk? Yeah.

And they're kind of on him. Have you cast the neighbor yet no no not yet I mean I am a working actor alright we can get Nick Kroll as the neighbor

if you need him he'll come in if you need him to be a creepy neighbor yeah can you carry stuff from a trunk oh very well

that's what I do but the cool thing now is like you're not looking around the giant no you know that 3000 pound camera yeah and then like going back and editing you can cut it right away and see what you got that's awesome You're not looking around the giant, you know, that 3,000-pound camera.

Yeah, and then, like, going back and editing, you can cut it right away and see what you got. That's awesome. Just keep making it. Just do it. Does that make sense? Any other questions before we go? Yeah. Not really, actually.

Not one single question. Where did Bad Mitten go? He was amazing. Oh, the Bad Mitten. Yeah. The Bad Mitten is Coach Steve has a Badminton that he wears. That's like his evil. So he's like, I'm going to fucking kill you.

You know, he's like that version of it. The Badminton will be back at some point. The Badminton will make his way back. Don't worry. Everybody's coming back in other ways and forms. And then, you know, we're going to do a spinoff show. Oh yeah. Oh, I was saving this for, I didn't tell you. Yeah. This got announced today. Yes. I was saving it for his reaction. Yes. All right. Tell them about the spinoff show. So we're doing a show in the world, a workplace comedy in the world of the

monsters. You know, at the end of season two, where the kids, you know, you go up to the department of puberty up in the, where the hormone monsters work. We're doing a show that's going to be up there. So it'll be the hormone monsters and the shame wizards and the depression kitties and all the other characters. It's going to be a show that takes place up in that world. Oh, yes. I've been waiting.

That was one of my favorite episodes. Oh, cool. What's the name of the show?. Oh, cool. I'm glad. What's the name of the show? It's called Human Resources. I had to videotape this. Human Resources. It's going to be Human Resources.

We manage people. So it's like. This is great. Yeah. It'll be about. So because Big Mouth is really about kids going through puberty. Human Resources is going to let us tell all these other stories about different moments in life. So like, you know, first job, divorce, cancer, uh, cancer, birth, uh, first love, all these

other things that like, you know, are huge parts of like what the human experience is like. When does this get shortened to HR? When the, the big fans see HR? Yeah. That'll be, that'll happen fast. HR boffos. And, uh, you know, I don't even know.

But yeah, it'll be, it'll be, it'll be, it's going to take a little while for us to make because we got to keep making Big Mouth. But it'll come soon. Are the kids ever going to age in Big Mouth? They are slowly aging. So like the end of season three is the end of seventh grade. Yeah. So. That's year, year away.

Whoa. Close. So yeah, so you're, so you're about, so you're in sixth grade right now? Yeah. Okay. How is it? How's sixth grade treating now? Yeah. Okay. How is it? How's sixth grade treating you? It's pretty good.

He loves it. Are you in the same school? As who? As where you were for fifth grade? Yeah. Okay, cool. My whole life, basically. Yeah.

And where do you stack up? Where are you height-wise in your grade? Middle. In the middle? Middle. There are really tall kids in my grade. Like, there's this kid that's 5'6". Oh, no.

Towers over me. Yeah. He's doing the whole athlete thing, though. Like, there's this kid that's 5'6". Oh, no. Towers over me. Yeah. He's doing the whole athlete thing, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. I was an athlete. I loved playing sports, but I was little. Which is, I think, in the end—

You're tenacious. Yes, exactly. I understood the game. Yeah. Because I was never going to be a big guy. Well, sixth grade is when the girls start sprouting. Yes, yes. Yeah.

And other things start sprouting. Yeah, Yes. Yeah. And other things start sprouting and it just seems like a complete mismatch for like a year and a half. I was that boy at the dance who was like at boob level

with the girls. Like there's pictures of me in a lot of bar mitzvahs like that. Because we just went through it with my daughter where all of a sudden all the girls

are like five, six. Yeah. And there's only a couple kids. Yeah. And then it catches up by eighth grade. Yeah. Then all of a sudden eighth grade all the boys are like lurching six. Yeah. And there's only a couple kids. Yeah. And then it catches up by eighth grade. Yeah.

Then also in eighth grade, all the boys are like, they're like lurking around. Yeah, their arms have doubled in size. It took me a little longer. Speaking of lurch, I'm just going to plug quickly.

I'm in the Addams family. Oh, yeah. Which comes out on Friday. And Charlize is in that. Yes, exactly. A whole bunch of people. Charlize, Oscar Isaac, me, Chloe, Grace Moritz,

Finn Wolfhard. Do you know Finn Wolfhard? Yeah, I Grace Moritz Finn Wolfhard you know Finn Wolfhard oh you love Finn Wolfhard I just met him we were walking through into the at the premiere I was walking with Finn

I've never met him he's a nice guy we're walking in some guy looks at him and goes hey Joan Jett's here who's like an 80s rocker shit

and he that's who does the Ronda Rousey song yeah oh really so but Finn very good sense of humor was like that's funny 80s rocker shit. And he... That's who does the Ronda Rousey song. Yeah, I know. Yeah, oh, really? So, but Finn, very good sense of humor. I was like, that's funny.

That's legitimately funny. I was like, oh, that's cool. The kid has a sense of humor about himself. So that comes out on the 11th. So I don't know when this is dropping, but the Addams Family, I think you'd enjoy it.

It's kind of more mature than other kids' movies. All right. Ben, I think you did all right. All right, yeah. I think I did good. You were nervous at the top, but I thought you worked enjoy it. It's kind of more mature than other kids' movies. Ben, I think you did alright. You were nervous at the top, but I thought you worked through it. I thought the fact that I told the sushi story was going to make you leave,

but you didn't. I almost died. I was dying laughing. You gotta be careful when we're in public. I know you love Big Mouth and the other terrible shows you watch, so I'll let you watch. But when there's multiple strangers around, you just have to be more aware. It is a, I hope, I'm glad, I hope that there's some good stuff that you're learning and enjoying and entertained by it out of it all.

Did you ask a question at that Birds and the Bees assembly? No. You didn't? You ended up not? I was too scared. Probably a good idea. Yeah. probably better not to ask the wet dreams question yeah that was good that would have been a yeah yeah that's you know that we had i made uh i the way coach steve says how you had a wet dream is he goes, I bed wet thick. Which is then where thick in the warm

came out of. I made thick in the warm. Yeah. So, anyway, just to give you some origin story to the,

how we come up with the dialogue. Was this the weirdest interview you've done in the press store so far? Honestly, it was the best. It's the most fun one.

I'm glad you have your audience. I mean, I always enjoy talking to you, but also talking to you, it's fun to talk one yeah i'm glad you have your audience i mean i i always enjoy talking to you but also talking to you it's it's fun to talk to kids about how they're what they're seeing in in and getting from the show and and storylines that are your find interesting because like we want to i want to make sure that you're like that you're digging it and that you get it so all right if the if we ever get funding for the horror movie, we'll talk to your agent about it. Please, let me know.

Creepy neighbor. Yeah, creepy neighbor. Creepy next door neighbor. I would love to play a murderer from outer space. That's my goal. Nick Kroll, Big Mouth Season 3, Adam's Family, a whole bunch of stuff, and Human Resources.

When's that coming out? It's going to be a while. But a while. Good luck. Thanks for doing this. Thanks for having me. All right. Thanks to Mallory, Shea, and Nick Kroll.

Thanks to ZipRecruiter. Don't forget to go to ziprecruiter.com. Thanks to SimpliSafe. The best choice, hands down, for home security. Every door, window, and room protected 24-7 for just $15 a month. No contracts, hidden fees, or fine print. Remember, for my listeners, SimpliSafe has a huge deal going on right now. SimpliSafe.com.

A free HD security camera when you order. That's a $100 value. We'll make sure that it can take advantage of their video verification technology. Get your free HD security camera right now at SimpliSafe.com slash BS. SimpliSafe with two I's. SimpliSafe.com slash BS. Back Sunday night with the cuz. I'm going to confront him about how he laughed at me on Sunday night's pod

when I said that Christian McCaffrey was the reigning, was the kind of favorite for the MVP. He laughed. And then I noticed on Against All Odds two days later, it was one of his segments. Oh, wow. Is Christian McCaffrey the lead choice for MVP? Sal, you thief.

You're being confronted on Sunday. Until then. On the wayside I'm a bruised son Never once said I don't have To ever forget