The Bill Simmons Podcast - Does the AFC Suck? Plus Lamar Mania, Stumbling Rams, Tales From Oakland, and Logan Paul Bets With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast
Episode Date: November 11, 2019HBO and The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Vikings-Cowboys nail-biter, the L.A. Rams’ meltdown, Packers-Panthers, Saints-Falcons, Lamar Jackson and the Ravens shellac...king the Bengals, Bills-Browns, Cardinals-Bucs, a playoff check-in, and more (2:15), before guessing the NFL lines for Week 11 (41:15). Then, Parent Corner, DAZN’s Logan Paul vs. KSI boxing match, and more (1:11:08). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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coming off yet another terrible Cowboys loss. I don't know, what year is this?
First, our friends Cousin Sal.
You know, I was talking to Coach K today, Sal, and he said,
you know, I was thinking about that, Sal.
He is the face of a winner.
What? That's what he said.
Were you really talking to Coach K?
No. You didn't see that Coach K,
the thing they did during the Cowboys game with
Coach K? Oh, I missed it. I missed it. I was
off. Why? What happened? Collinsworth talked
about it, how it was like this whole thing,
Coach K talking about Dak Prescott and how he had a face of a it. It was like this whole thing. Coach K talking about Dak Prescott
and how he had a face of a
winner. It was this whole produced piece.
It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life.
You must have been in the bathroom.
You need more jinxes here. That's great.
He did have the face of
a winner today. Unfortunately, he didn't win the game.
It was the most
interesting game, Vikings
Cowboys, of a really disjointed, bizarre day of football
that featured multiple times a quarterback throwing a football,
and it was either ruled incomplete,
but then it was ruled a fumble in another game,
and it was basically the same play over and over again.
I don't know what happened today.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.
You're talking about Goff versus Cousins and the ball that's met
and if the hand is going forward or if it's not.
Yeah.
They need to figure something out with this whole thing.
It was definitely not a good day to try to make money.
That's for sure.
Lots of favorites went down.
Lots of Moneyline Parleys.
Biggest upset of the year in Saints.
Falcons and the Colts were a big favorite.
They lost.
And who else?
Well, the Colts and the Colts were a big favorite. They lost. And who else? Well, the Colts and the
Saints were double-digit favorites.
Rams, obviously, were a big
loss there.
I don't know. KC, that was
a disgusting loss.
Yeah. Well, we were due.
We always know in November
there's a wonky weekend.
Did not expect it to be this weekend.
I was more appalled by the quality of football for the most part in all these games,
which is why the Dallas men, aside, I know you're still licking your wounds because your boys lost,
but the quality of play was really high in that game.
I actually thought both quarterbacks played well.
I thought the running games were really good.
And unlike all the other crap we watched all day,
it wasn't turnover filled.
There wasn't a lot of controversies.
It was just a well-played game.
It was good.
And I felt like there were adjustments made.
Like, I thought it was going to be a really long night.
Like, 14-0 early.
Lots of pressure on Dak from the outside, Danell Hunter.
And it just didn't seem like it was going to end.
And then, you know, then the offensive line tightened things up
it was nice and Dak passing all
over them just couldn't stop the run
I mean Minnesota had 135 yards
rushing through three quarters and
it didn't end there just could not
stop them and I don't know what
to blame Jason Garrett
I don't know who's calling the plays anymore but
I knew second and two
down where we were.
He held on to his timeouts.
I'll give him that.
That was nice.
But I think I said to my son, I was like, there has to be a designed run here for Dak.
That's what they're not looking for.
That's what they haven't seen all game.
I don't think they play.
I don't think they practice a fourth and two out pattern to Zeke.
I really don't.
And that was their go-to there on fourth down
and that ultimately killed them.
Well, that last drive,
Dak was on fire the whole day
and then they basically
took it out of his hands
with some runs.
And I did not agree
with that decision.
But go figure.
Randall Cobb over 100 yards.
Cooper over 100 yards.
It was nice.
It was nice to watch.
And then they got down close
and they got very conservative
and a big, big mess.
Well, I owe somebody an apology because
Houston and I took the Cowboys minus three
and million dollar picks on Thursday. And the
biggest reason was it was Kirk Cousins on a Sunday
night that he was going to do
something dumb and give Dallas the game. Never did.
Never did. He didn't. I don't
think he... He had a
good game. I don't know. It's going to look better than it
was. He had like two one-yard touchdown passes.
Right before the half, I don't know, it was like 11 seconds left.
They had a timeout or something.
He threw it like to the five-yard line to get a closer field goal.
I don't know what he did.
So he mismanaged a few things.
But like I said, it didn't matter.
He was running it up on this team.
Here's the thing with Cousins, though.
What's that?
No interceptions, no fumbles, only took one sack.
Yeah.
That's a great game for Kirk Cousins, right?
That's the best game of his life.
But I think
both teams are playoff teams. I don't know if
both teams are going to make the playoffs.
We're in a really weird situation now in the
NFC where we have the Niners
who are playing Seattle tomorrow night. 8-0. We're in a really weird situation now in the NFC where we have the Niners who are playing Seattle
tomorrow night,
8-0.
Packers are now 8-2,
which is really confusing
if you watch them,
especially if you watch
the Carolina game today.
They do not feel like
an 8-2 team.
Mm-hmm.
Saints 7-2 coming off
probably the most embarrassing loss
anybody had this year.
Seahawks 7-2.
And Minnesota 7-3.
And then it drops.
So you have that as your top five.
There's a two win drop off to Dallas,
the Rams and the Eagles and Carolina are all five and four.
And that's one spot.
Those,
those guys are fighting for.
Well,
but the thing is Dallas and Philly,
one of those two have to make the playoffs.
Right,
right,
right.
So if you look at everybody else,
they're actually three, uh, two have to make the playoffs. Right, right, right. So if you look at everybody else, they're actually three,
two wins, and in
Chicago's case, it's three
wins behind the second wildcard team.
It's bizarre. I mean,
the Rams are 5-4 and the Chiefs are 6-4,
not to the jump to the AFC, but you would
never think that, right?
These teams have eight losses between
them, and I don't know what to think
with the Rams. And you know what?
My therapist said, stop blaming quarterback so much.
Start looking at the offensive line.
So I've done that.
I think it's, it's, it maybe is going to add years to my life because I'm constantly blaming
the quarterbacks and Trubisky and Goff and they, they do have their terrible moments,
but that offensive line was gotten, getting thrown around today for the Rams.
I mean, they can never seem to run the ball anyway, but I think we don't give the Steelers enough credit defensively.
It was a game I feel like they should not have won,
and I think that golf call completely changed the game.
I actually don't think either team should have won.
It probably should have just ended up in a tie.
Weren't there a lot of games?
I mean, that lends to what you were saying. The quality of play was low.
I didn't think anyone should have won the Bill Browns game.
No, that was awesome.
Arizona-Tampa Bay kind of felt the same way.
Jets-Giants, you could throw that any week.
Neither of those teams deserved to win.
I felt the same way about those guys.
Yeah, the Bucks-Cards game
and the Titans-Chiefs game
were actually pretty fun.
But for the most part, it was pretty bad football.
And I can't tell if it's just kind of that midseason malaise
where everybody now has enough tape to scout everybody else
or whether so many different teams have injuries.
Like you saw the Chiefs game.
They ran that graphic with their offensive line.
What was that in the second half?
It was like four of the guys were out.
Oh, right, right. It was like,
oh my God. The teams only keep
eight offensive linemen
max. One of them was Schwartz who
had thousands of snap
consecutive streak broken.
When you have a guy like that out,
it really throws it off because you don't know how to move
guys in and out.
There are a lot of,
a lot of mediocre teams and yeah,
I mediocre teams and kicking.
I mean,
you look up at any screen,
you're like,
this kicks in a mess.
This is 43 yards on the road.
This guy's not getting this,
this extra point as a 55% chance of going through.
It's just,
why is it kicking getting so much worse right now?
Well,
the bills did the Browns score the first touchdown in the Browns-Bills game.
And of course, get a taunting penalty on the touchdown.
The Bills look at it and go, normally the team takes it on the kickoff.
And the Bills were like, no, we're going to take it now.
We don't think this guy can make a 48-yard PAT.
They were right.
He missed it.
And it was 6-0 instead of 7-0.
It was so stupid.
That was a big point.
So many stupid things like this.
Big freaking point if you have plus three all over the place
and the Buffalo Bills.
But look at this, though.
AFC, Pats 8-1, Ravens 7-2.
Yeah.
Texans 6-3.
Bills still somehow 6-3, even though if you watch them,
they don't stand out more than 15 of these craft teams.
Right.
Chiefs are a stunning six and four.
And then Steelers Raiders Colts,
all five and four.
And the Titans are five and five.
This was the first day.
I really started to wonder if the Steelers could actually make the playoffs.
Yeah.
Just like,
just by almost by accident,
the Jacoby Brissett thing.
I think,
you know,
I,
I,
there's no way they lose to Miami if he's playing that game.
Brian Hoyer was so bad.
And if,
if the,
if the mistake probably was trusting Brian Hoyer,
they think like not just,
not just running the ball and controlling the clock and just trying to keep
it low scoring game.
But,
but the Steelers, this is the first time.
Like 9-7 is probably going to get into the playoffs,
and they can probably get to 9-7 with their defense, right?
Well, they might be the full crap team that we never want to believe in,
and we wait too long to believe in them and lose a bundle of money doing so.
In six days, they beat the Dolphins on Monday night,
a game they were losing.
They ended up winning by 10 points, but lucky to win that one, I think, if you watch that.
Then they play the Colts, and like you said, Brissette goes out.
Am I getting this right?
That was it, right?
Yeah.
Brissette, that was in six days.
And then today, they could have won a loss.
But then you look at it, this Minka Fitzpatrick thing, this might have been a really good
deal.
The first two games, the defense allowed six touchdown passes and had no interceptions.
Yeah.
And weeks three through 10, nine touchdown passes in seven weeks and 13 interceptions.
And that guy is all over the place, returning touchdowns and picking balls off.
He's spectacular.
He takes out your best receiver.
It was a great trade for them.
I still do not agree with not lottery protecting
the pick.
I still think that's indefensible.
It's not going to matter though, right?
It's not going to matter now, but I mean, think of
they were down 14-0 to Miami
and if Brissette doesn't get hurt last
week, they probably don't win that game. And then this game,
I have no idea how they won.
And it really did flip.
I mean, their offense scored 10 points today.
I think the team you have to watch out for.
All right, I know.
I know.
It's tough to watch them move the ball.
And Rudolph is going to be Rudolph.
And McVay, everyone's like, oh, how did he lose to Rudolph in two weeks?
It's like, I don't know.
I think it was the defense that stepped up.
But the Raiders of that team, I think.
Let's say the Bills get the five.
The Raiders are scary. At five and four, next two games, Cincinnati that team, I think. Let's say the Bills get the five. The Raiders are scary at five and four.
Next two games, Cincinnati and at the Jets.
Yeah.
They're seven and four. I think they could score on the Chiefs, right?
They have a game left there.
The Chargers still, I think.
Well, and probably their half came out of the AFC West lead.
Right.
So if you had to go favorite AFC teams right now, just to believe in the rest of the AFC West lead. Right. So if you had to go favorite AFC teams right now,
just to believe in the rest of the way,
would you have New England or Baltimore in the one spot for you?
Well, I'm glad we're taking the Chiefs out of the two spots for sure.
So, but where would you go?
Patriots or Ravens right now?
No, I still go.
We're talking in Foxborough.
Doesn't matter.
Just who do you like the most?
From what you've seen.
We've now had a nine-game sample size.
It's not about what I've seen this year.
It's about what I've seen in January.
And I think the Patriots get it done.
I think that's going to be a home game anyway.
But I think Baltimore is definitely second at worst.
Really good.
Yeah.
You don't want to read too much into the Cincinnati thing,
but Lamar
just, he's feeling it. He really is.
And then what's interesting is
now if I asked you, alright,
what's the number three
AFC team that you feel the best about?
I don't know what that answer is.
Yeah, it's
kind of toss-up-y.
I think I like the Texans more than
a lot of people do. Do you like the Texans more than a lot of people do.
Do you like the Texans more than the Chiefs?
I might.
I don't know.
Didn't they play that game?
Did I miss that?
It's over, right?
Yeah. I don't like this Chiefs.
The Chiefs' defense just looks so soft at any time.
They can give up a big play or three mid-sized plays.
I mean, this is now Tannehill throwing against them
and having his way with them.
The Chiefs are really sloppy.
It's all the stuff we've made fun of Andy Reid teams about over the years,
and it seems like a much worse version of it.
They've also had a lot of bad luck with dumb injuries and stuff,
but I'm still stupefied how they lost that Tennessee game.
Well, I am too, but...
That was one of the biggest giveaways we've had this season, how they lost that Tennessee game. Well, I am too, but...
Like, that was one of the biggest giveaways we've had this season, the first nine weeks.
There's no way Tennessee should have won that game.
No, and there's really no way they should have won anyway
because, or they should at least get that kickover
because that, what's his name, Josh Calhoun?
Yeah.
I mean, he was offsides by,
like, they would call that for an NBA travel,
how much he was offsides by. He was like that for an NBA travel, how much he was offsides by.
He was like three steps over the line and then blocks the kick.
So I don't know what the answer is.
I know.
Why can't the last play of every game be reviewed?
If the idea is, hey, we sent the wrong team to the Super Bowl.
That's why we have these pass interference calls with the Saints and Rams, and they won't
admit as much.
But that's why that's exactly why they have it.
They don't want to make the wrong team win in the last play or down to the wire.
That's why inside two minutes, you don't have to make use one of your challenges.
It's automatically challenged.
Let's review the last play, not maybe for holding on the offensive line, but for stupid
shit like if the ball was snapped in time, right?
Someone was off sides or so, so blatantly.
I don't know how they missed that anyway.
It's not like everyone's spread out.
Everyone's staring.
There's back judges and field officials
are staring at the offensive and defensive lines, right?
How did they miss that?
I didn't get it.
I mean, it just seems like we've had more ref error than ever.
Maybe we're more hyper aware of it
because of the 24-7 social media cycle now.
But the big loser today is probably Mariota
because Tannehill is a pretty average
to half decent quarterback, right?
He's like a C plus.
Yeah.
He's, you know, if he's your quarterback for 10 years,
you're probably going 75 and 77.
Yeah, right.
I think that's fair.
He comes in and he looks like he's in a sports movie
compared to what they had before. And they're so fired up to have a competent quarterback.
You would think it's like Tom Brady in 2007, he made a couple of great plays and the way the team
responds to him making a play is hilarious because they've just had three years of just complete
crap with their quarterback.
Right.
Yeah.
And you thought like, well, maybe they're not getting them receivers.
Adam Humphrey, whatever, you know, that was supposed to be their savior.
And obviously he wasn't.
But it also, you know, they respond to big Derrick Henry runs too.
And they got a couple of those.
And that was nice.
That put them right back in it.
He does.
That was the classic Derrick Henry.
You know, you have like the one in nine chance of going against him in fantasy. And you just hope it's not one of the classic Derrick Henry. You have the one in nine chance of going against him in fantasy. You just hope it's not one of those two Derrick Henry weeks when he's just wreaking havoc. But Tennessee, not awful because you could make a case going back the earlier part of their schedule that Mariota just cost them a couple wins. you know, that he was so incompetent that their record's five and five,
but maybe if Tannehill had been playing the whole time,
I think he swings at least one of those games.
Yeah, that ugly Thursday game against Gardner Minshew and Jacksonville.
Yeah, that rings a bell.
Yeah, they could be better.
But I like to think that the Texans are going to pull away in that division.
Well, I think there's a world in which the Bills fall off here.
Really?
Because they're not very good.
Do you watch the Bills and go, oh, yeah, I can see them in the playoffs?
No, for sure.
But I remember their schedule.
I don't know.
I remember it being pretty light, right?
They were showing their record today, and they were 6-2.
And I'm just like, how is this team 6-2?
Doesn't make your team look good. That's supposed to be the big win on your schedule.
I know. I know. 16 to 10. Barely beat them. Well, we have a lot to cover. We're going to take a
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again.
Alright. A couple
things I wanted to hit. Lamar's
MVP run. I think we talked
about this last week. What was he? Plus 250
or plus 350? Yeah.
He had another awesome game.
He's probably
been the fantasy MVP unless it's either
him or Russell Wilson.
I think he has the most points in most leagues, yeah.
259 points.
So I saw this in a couple places.
I think it was Warren Sharp had it.
So thanks to Warren.
He's had 16 regular season starts now.
So that's basically a full season,
even though it's last year and this year.
3,150 passing yards, 20 TDs, eight interceptions,
and he's rushed for 1,287 yards and 10 TDs.
Yeah.
So he's responsible for 30 TDs.
I'm really starting to get excited for what his end-of-the-season stats
are going to look like because he's going to rush for 1,200 yards.
Yeah.
Easy. And he's having fun out there. I it's different i know people are worried that we've seen this guy before we've seen vince young
and we've seen rg3 no i kind of think it's different those guys were were a little dumber
with the way that i'm sorry if that's the wrong word but i remember rg3 trying to tiptoe the
sidelines getting an extra five or six yards and getting hammered. Lamar Jackson doesn't really get hit.
No, he's kind of like Tom Brady with wheels.
You know, he's so much savvier.
He's also, he just seems like he's two chess moves ahead on the chessboard with everybody
else.
Like even in a play where it seems like he should get hit.
He always knows what seems like he knows what's going to happen before it happens.
Right.
He's very impressive.
There's a lot of people out there like, yeah, I don't want to consider him for MVP
because of what's going to happen to him.
It's like, well, that doesn't make sense.
You have to look at his body of work
and he had an amazing passer rating,
if that's your thing.
Like, you're not going to, you know,
maybe down the road it is going to be ugly for him,
but you're not going to say,
yeah, this milk is great,
but you know what?
Someday it's going to be sour.
So toss it in the trash now.
It doesn't make sense.
Also, some people are just more durable
than other people.
James Harden plays 78,
80, 81 games every
year. If you watch them, he takes
a ton of punishment on drives.
The way he plays,
he should have had more injuries by now,
but he's just a durable guy.
I think Lamar will be the favorite.
I don't know that San Francisco wins, but I don't think this is
the kind of game that Russell Wilson is going to light it up
stat-wise.
San Francisco wins for sure. I think Lamar
is number one right there.
If San Francisco wins and Lamar's
odds are even or
around there, I think we have to investigate.
Yeah, for sure. I don't even
know who would be
the number two pick you mean rogers after those two you mean you think rogers is the second pick
right now well third for mvp so you'd have wilson second rogers third yeah yeah i think i don't know
mcafree those running backs just never win i don't mean to sound like a hater because i really
like and respect rogers i just when i watch the packers there's a lot of. I don't mean to sound like a hater because I really like and respect Rodgers.
I just, when I watch the Packers,
there's a lot of times I don't feel like he's
even the most valuable player they have on the offense.
Oh, you don't think he's the most valuable Aaron on the team?
Well, Aaron Jones has been really good
and has carried them in some of these games
where I'm not sure it really mattered as much
who was playing quarterback for them.
I just think...
Whereas Lamar is everything for Baltimore.
Every single thing they do feeds off everything he's good at.
No,
it's true.
It's true.
But if Rogers keeps the mistakes to a minimum,
ends up with 30 something touchdowns and eight or nine interceptions,
seven or eight,
and they have 12 wins,
he's going to be right in there.
He'll be top three.
Well,
I think,
I think Bridgewater is in the top four now too
because we've seen the before and after with him.
Drew Brees could have had 30 more drives
and I don't think it would have mattered.
I don't think they would have closed that gap.
So on the one hand with the Saints,
that was a pretty awful game.
On the other hand, that was the classic,
how do you get up for this game?
Oh, we're just going to roll over these guys.
And then, you know, it was typical.
And you could feel it right away in the first 40 minutes.
Like, oh, this is going to be one of these games.
Oh, didn't, thought Atlanta had rolled over for the year.
Think again.
But, well, you get up for it because it's a division game.
Like, you know, I know Atlanta has one win before today.
Do they have one win?
Yeah, they have one win. They're 2-7.
Yeah, now they have 10.
But it's different if it's Arizona coming into
or Cincinnati coming into New Orleans.
I just think Matt Ryan,
Drew Brees should always be a big game
for both coaches and teams.
I don't know what to make of it.
I think every team, it's like that
Packers game. What was that game?
What was it?
Two weeks ago
and they just shit the bed?
Against the Chargers?
Yeah.
I think...
Last week.
Last week.
I think you're allowed
one shit the bed game
in the first 10 weeks.
Yeah.
But,
the weird thing...
Just give everyone a heads up
before you do it.
You should give us a heads up
if we have you in a tease.
The weird thing for me with them this year is Kamara.
And when you think about where he was heading into the season
when he was in the discussion for who's going to be the number one guy in fantasy.
And he hasn't even been close.
Well, banged up.
He hasn't played in a couple of weeks, but yeah, you're right.
He just has had a bad year for, I think, what we expected.
Barkley's had a bad year, I think,
compared to the expectations for different reasons
because he's on a weird team,
and teams are obviously keying up for him.
They should shut him down, right?
What's the point of keeping him going?
Seems like it.
And McCaffrey's been the one who exceeded everybody's expectations,
but unless you expected him to score on,
on the last play,
that's the only expectation.
That was weird.
It looked like he slipped.
I would have,
if you had just told me,
here's the play they're going to do.
I would have thought 99 times out of a hundred.
He scores.
Right.
And if he hugs the ball to his neck instead of his midsection
and falls on his back on the goal line, then it's a different story.
That was a great end.
I have to give it to Kyle Allen.
I don't feel like we see rookies like this years ago
in bunches coming up in big spots on the road.
It all of a sudden started to snow.
It's Lambeau Field.
They're the underdog going against a Packers team,
like you said, got routed last week.
And he's right in there at the end.
Pretty gutty.
Really bad footing too.
Yeah.
That was a really fun game.
It's always fun when it snows in Lambeau.
I'm not crossing off Carolina.
I mean, I know they're in the playoff picture and all that thing,
but I think they can do some stuff. They can, I'm not, you know, they can move the ball
over and over again in this game. They, that, that, uh, that Allen had to make throws and he
made them, you know, and they were harassing him too. It wasn't like he was just sitting there.
Yeah. Scrambling, throwing the guys on his, on their knees. And, um, yeah, he kept a bunch of
drives alive to keep him. I don't know why that yeah i know you like that kicker so you probably know about this i didn't have the audio
on why did they go for two to make it 24 16 that was that weird chart thing that's so when you're
down is there a new chart i don't know what happened yeah when you're down 14 the thinking is
you go for the two because if you get it then you can win the game game. If you don't get it, you can still go for another two.
You need two touchdowns. I don't totally
understand it. It's a classic example
of the nerds have just made everything more confusing.
Right.
Well, I mean, the way everyone's missing
a freaking kick, who knows? Just go
for two every time now. Just such a bummer.
Another thing that happened, the Pats
ended up winning today somehow.
Why is that?
Chiefs lose. Chiefs
6-4. Now we definitely
don't have to go to Arrowhead in January
for any reason. The Bills
lose. They have
a two-game lead and they've already beaten the Bills
and it's just looking pretty good.
I'm excited.
Good for you. I don't know. Only you could come away
with a win on a bye feel good
feel better than I did
a week ago
I'll tell you that much
Saints Falcons
most damaging
gambling game
we've had of the year
so far
I think so
I think it might have been
Jets Cowboys
was pretty bad too
you know
Cowboys we know
world beaters tonight
but
killed every 10
every 10 point tees
got killed
every tees where you threw three
or four Moneyline favorites
murdered all of those.
And then
whatever the elimination pools
were left, I'm sure
it took out a bunch of those too.
Yeah, because in the elimination pools, you can go
against Cincinnati, you can go against Miami,
you can pretty much go against Arizona
week after week after week, and it wasn't going to hurt. You can go against the Jets could pretty much go against Arizona week after week after week, and it
wasn't going to hurt. You can go against the Jets.
But yeah, this was a bad one.
Well, I was thinking, it
seems like Cincinnati has a chance now
to lock down that first pick.
Right. And I actually watched
an entire college football game on Saturday.
I saw. You had money on LSU.
That was fun, right?
It really was.
I was confused why college football games Oh, you had money on LSU. Yeah, that was fun, right? It really was. I think you might want to watch a little bit.
I was confused why college football games take four hours.
Yeah.
Is that just a standard thing?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they are.
I mean, depending on the conference, sometimes those SEC games,
like LSU, that was just going to be a lot of passing in that game.
But, oh, yeah, a Big 12 game could go like nine,
9am start on the West coast could go to like one,
one,
wait till them.
Maybe don't stop the clock.
Um,
every time somebody gets a first down in the last two minutes,
wherever that dumb rolls.
The reason I bring this up though, is I thought LSU is quarterback was wonderful.
Borrow.
Yeah.
And if you put that dude on Cincinnati,
I would feel pretty good for them
he's pretty solid
I don't want
people to get mad at me
compared to Romo and how nifty he is
young Romo
Romo 2.0
Romo 2.0 he'll take it right
it was fun I love rooting
against Alabama
ever since Nick Saban took his ball and ran home
because he couldn't win the AFCs for a couple years
and went back to college and hid there
and gets all these five-star recruits every year.
He's so many five-star recruits.
Mallory said they had three top 20 wide receivers
and their kick returners, the sophomore,
can't even come in the draft.
And the guys like Devin Hester, 7.0.
Right.
Just loaded everywhere
knows on that team but yeah that borrow was like minus 1,000 to win the Heisman now he was like
plus 180 going in he was terrific and I think if that's going to be the first pick
it's a pretty good first pick I feel feel better about that than Sam Darnold
and some of the other people we've seen
in the top three situations.
Yep.
The Rams.
This is kind of catastrophic.
You did it.
You did it.
Coach Belichick slayed them.
That's it.
I don't think they have any outs.
I don't know what happens to this team.
The golf contract, you know, you can blame the offensive line was bad.
You can blame it all you want.
They have no outs.
There's no scenario where they could really improve this team
the way they need to improve it because of the money they have
going out to like five guys.
And it's weird to think that the Rams
have already peaked.
But I think they've already peaked.
This is a team we thought was going to be potentially
the team of the 2020s.
But if they win that game,
we're not talking about it, right? If they go six
and three? I don't know.
That would have been a bad
win. Even them winning that,
they just look so incompetent offensively.
None of their receivers can get open.
And I feel, right, Cooper Cup had zero or one catch?
Zero.
I think he had zero catches, right?
Shut down by the Steelers.
Looked like the Pats secondary.
And then, you know.
So that's their fallback when, you know, because Todd Gurley isn't Todd Gurley anymore.
He's not.
Okay, we have no running game, but we do have that five-yard, seven-yard slant to Cooper Cup.
And then when you shut that down, boy, you're just relying on safeties and defensive touchdowns.
That's the only way you're going to win.
Well, the other thing is they gave up a first-round pick for Brandon Cooks, who got another concussion recently.
And now it's like probably is out for the year.
I think he's at five.
And that was their speed guy.
And you could feel the lack of the speed guy today.
They just, there was nobody open.
Couldn't get separation.
Couldn't stretch the field, any of that stuff.
And then Gurley is just not Gurley anymore.
And there's been, look, there's been a ton of stuff written about this.
There's all kinds of stats and all that stuff. But the Rams for the first like 12 to 13 weeks of last season.
And then in December slash January
when things start flipping with Gurley,
and they've really never been the same since.
And I don't know what made me think that they could go.
I really thought their defense could win the game by itself today,
and it almost did.
But they're in these situations now where if they're on the road,
outdoors against a good defense,
I don't think they can get to 20 points.
They're a cross-off.
Crazy, though.
They play the Bears next Sunday night.
That's a cross-off game, right?
Yeah. I would probably cross those
two teams off anyway, but
that's pretty bad.
We talked about Tennessee earlier.
I had this. They're 5-5. Here are the talked about Tennessee earlier. I had this, so they're five and five here,
the rest of their games.
You tell me what you think happens home for Jack or the bi-week next week,
home for Jacksonville.
I feel like that's a win six and five at Indianapolis.
I'm guessing Brissette's back by then.
So Brissette and TY are back.
That's a different Colts team.
If neither of those guys are back, that's a win.
And if one of them's back, it's a toss-up.
Then they're at Oakland week 14.
But then, and I had forgotten about this,
home for Houston week 15,
home for New Orleans week 16,
but then at Houston week 17.
So they play Houston two of the last three weeks.
Oh, so that's not great for them.
Is it not great for them?
Or is that actually fantastic for them?
I think at Indy,
at Oakland,
at Houston,
at least two out of three losses there.
And then what?
That's seven losses.
And then New Orleans looks like they might need it now.
They can only lose one more time.
But they,
I'm sorry.
I don't like,
I have to deal with Clay
Travis every day, so I can't promote
this to the Tennessee team.
I like the fact that they play Houston
twice, and they're playing
them with the right quarterback. Because one of those
games could have happened in September,
and they would have been screwed.
No, they're a better team now, for sure.
Freddie Soup, want to talk about him
really quick? I do.
He got so lucky. I watched
with House and Jacko
and Blue Boy
because they were all in town visiting this weekend.
The eight plays inside the two-yard
line, you just never had seen anything
like it. It was like he
was just reaching into the
deep recesses of his asshole and pulling out
yet another terrible play. Up six, nothing. Could have gone up nine, nothing. I don't know when that
team is up two scores, but it seems like it would be good, right? Once this year to be up two scores.
I've never seen a team run more plays without running any of the plays that actually work
when you're on the two yard line. Where's the play where the quarterback just rolls out and throws to the
tight end,
which seems to work every time or just the quick inside run or the QB sneak
or I don't know.
They're doing these,
they're doing these plays where there's a wide receiver in motion and you
don't know if they're going to flip them the ball or not,
but then it's a delayed,
you know,
pitch pass.
And it's like,
what are you guys doing?
What do you think? There's like, you get more points if it's a delayed, you know, pitch pass. It's like, what are you guys doing? What do you think there's like, you get more points if it's a cool play.
Right.
Just put the ball in the end zone, dumbasses.
They're all over the place.
I mean, that was the game that no one deserved to win, right?
I mean, even the classic Tom Brady shovel pass that hit the ground
and then the Bills recovered and ran for a touchdown.
You thought that was the game.
Like for a second, everybody thinks the game's over.
And it's like, oh, yeah, shit.
They got lucky there.
That was the one time this year I thought Baker felt like he was in control.
And he's like, relax, relax.
It's incomplete.
We got this.
And sure enough, they did.
They grinded it out and won the game.
You know how they have the red zone and the fantasy zone on DirecTV?
It's like 703, 704.
I think they should have the dread zone and the fantasy zone on direct TV. It's like 703, 704. I think they should add the dread zone.
And it's just cameras on fans for teams like the Browns.
Cause you can kind of see the people in the end zone.
They were so horrified.
They just didn't disbelieve by what was happening after like the sixth play
and the seventh play.
And you can kind of see some of the fans in the first couple of rows behind.
And they, and they're just,
they look like they're watching their car get towed.
They said that look like,
why?
What is happening?
Some of the words.
I love the dread zone.
I love it.
The dread zone would be great.
It was a controversial fantasy trade in our league that involved Odo Beckham Jr.
You didn't think it was controversial,
but basically guy in last place gave up Odo Beckham Jr.
and James White for like three Eagles who were
off this week. One of them's Miles Sanders. He was by far the best Eagle of the bunch,
but you were okay with that. I was okay with it because Odell's been awful week after week. And
he was the reason the guy was in last place, our friend Coherce. So it's like, all right.
So he's trading a guy who is single-handedly murdered his team. On paper, it seemed like
a crazy trade, but then yet you watch today and Odell didn't do anything again.
I know. But my thing is, out of those five guys, Odell's the only one who could have
seven touchdowns in the next three weeks, right? He's the only one.
In a video game.
And he's a blue chipper still. And I know he's probably the reason he's in last place. But my
thing always with this is if you're going to trade one of the top guys,
top names,
at least,
yeah,
put it out.
Just say,
Hey, I'm trading Odell Beckham.
Uh,
and I'm trading him within the next two days.
And if you can't say shit to me,
if you don't offer me anything,
I'm just going to take my best offer.
If that's miles Sanders,
so be it.
Yeah.
If you're two and seven and you,
and you're basically don't want to pay for the end of the meal,
Shakey's lunch,
which is going to be Bill's Raiders or whatever terrible game that is.
Yep.
Send the email out.
Everyone on my team's available.
I will be making trades.
I do not want to finish last.
Odell's available.
You name it.
That's it.
That's all you have to do.
And no one could say anything.
Well,
do you think the Browns could trade Friday kitchens to his XFL team?
I'm so freaking mad because I have a Thursday night bit to do.
Browns, Steelers this week.
And I was going to shit all over the Browns.
And now they won.
And the Steelers won.
I'm like, now I have to regroup.
What are you talking about?
Freddy Kitchen stinks jokes.
They ran 11 straight plays from inside the four-yard line in the first half
and never put any of them in the end zone.
I know.
And they won. Why can't you shit on the Browns? I don't understand. of them in the end zone. I know. And they won.
Why can't you shit on the Browns?
I don't understand.
I just feel like, I don't know.
I don't like when a team comes off a win like this because now, you think I can?
Maybe I will.
Freddie Kitchens is in the running for the worst coach I've seen in the last like six,
seven, eight years.
Yeah.
I'd have to think about it some more, but it's really,
he hits every check mark on the checklist
of when you know a team isn't well coached.
If the Browns could get Hugh Jackson back
and erase everybody's memory that he was ever there,
you think they would do it right now?
Hugh Jackson or Freddie Kitchens?
Yeah.
Well, it seems like his players seem like they kind of like him.
The players definitely did not like Hugh Jackson.
I think that was a problem.
They didn't like Hugh.
All right.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, Baker called him an idiot on film.
Yeah, that is true.
Like a friendly idiot?
Like we think of Mike August?
I would have Dennis Leary, maybe.
Wasn't he the coach in Draft Day?
Yeah.
He's more realistic to me as a coach than
Freddy Kitchens. It's awesome.
Let's do Guest Alliance, but we got to take a break.
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All right, Thursday night, you mentioned it.
Brown Steelers, it's in Cleveland.
This game's not in London.
There are no more London games, right?
That's it for London. we do have a mexico game i'll let you figure out if it's this week or down the road oh no is there a mexico game this week when is it is that monday night
it's don't help him out kyle no grown man he can figure this out there's a mexico game
monday night right now it's scheduled to be in Mexico.
We'll see.
Wow.
What would happen?
Well, last year it was canceled, right?
The field wasn't ready?
I don't know.
Well, I have the Browns favored by four over the Steelers.
All right.
I'm going to get this.
I said three.
It's two and a half.
Three over Buffalo.
Two and a half over Pittsburgh.
Pittsburgh, a worse record
they are figuring that they're
better competition than Buffalo I guess
how would you describe your feelings about Mason Rudolph
would you want to have money on him in this game
he's Ryan Tannehill light I think
is that a bad thing to say about someone
like a slightly poor
man's ryan tannell yeah he seems locked into james washington i don't know maybe it's better
the offense with james connor and when when she was but it doesn't seem like it works for him
i'm not a huge fan you just thought if he didn't turn it over, the Rams were going to have trouble scoring seven, right?
If the Rams had to score three, they might be able to,
but if Rudolph turned it over.
Well, he did.
He threw, wait, which, oh yeah, no, I mean,
I mean towards the end there, last couple of drives.
Yeah.
I was just waiting for it.
Yeah.
Sunday marquee game.
You're not going to believe this.
I do not have the Patriots game here
I have Ravens Texans
I think it's a better game
it's fun
Deshaun against Lamar there's some MVP implications
they're in the top 5
both of them
it's going to be incredibly entertaining
I can't wait to watch it
and I think the odds of this being
a very very good game are much higher than the I think the odds of this being a very,
very good game are much higher than the odds of the Pats Eagles being a very, very good game.
So that's my Sunday marquee. I have the Ravens by four and a half.
All right. Yeah. Well, I had a feeling you were going to say, I got it four and a half exactly
also. And that's what it is. Four and a half. Right square in the Vegas zone.
This is a nice time for the Ravens to catch the Texans.
They've had some injuries.
I wouldn't say it's a,
it's the most must win game of all time for the Texans.
I don't know.
No,
the Texans take care of business in their division. They're,
they're good.
They have a good enough lead that they could,
they'll be fine, I think.
Yeah, I agree.
But I think the Ravens destroy a team like the Bengals.
They destroy a team like the Dolphins.
They surprise a team like the Chiefs.
But I don't know.
A home-laying points is a weird kind of thing.
Or surprise a team like the Patriots, rather.
This is a strange thing.
Crazy reinvention by the Ravens,
where they had this whole run
dating back to the earlier part of the decade
with the tail end of Ray Lewis and Suggs
and Flacco and all that stuff,
and then kind of treaded water and stayed relevant,
but not 100% relevant.
And then were just able to reinvent themselves in a year.
Ozzie Newsome?
Yeah, great job by him.
Yeah.
I mean, it is true, though.
They did have the 25th pick that year and did not take Lamar.
And then traded back into the draft to take him at 32.
But it is one of those classic things where they love them,
but they didn't love them enough to take them over the tight end at 25.
They're a fun team.
You don't want to see them.
You don't want to see them in Foxborough at all.
You'd rather see the Chiefs.
No, Lamar's terrifying.
I don't want to see Lamar ever again this season.
Yeah.
The watchables.
I got two.
Saints at Tampa.
I continue to think the Bucs are the most entertaining league pass team.
I really enjoy watching them.
Jameis did it again today.
Right away.
He threw a couple terrible picks.
They had their usual three turnovers, including their running back,
just decided to drop the ball.
There was no one around him.
He was just kind of carrying it in his right hand
and heading toward the sideline,
and then he just kind of lost it.
So you just know you're going into a Bucs game
with three turnovers.
There's going to be five incredible Mike Evans plays.
There's going to be the shot of Jameis
coming out of a timeout
when he's staring at a photo,
just searching for answers,
not understanding
where that safety came from.
I just really enjoy them.
I enjoy them too.
I was starting to get sick for Bruce Arians.
I was like, this guy's got health issues.
If he has to deal with two Jameis picks
every week to start, and then
you're losing to a team like Arizona, who's
coming in on the road
west coast coming east how much more can this man take uh i i think you know who i liken them to
they're the salvatore belomo of the nfl remember salvatore belomo how could i forget him he was a
wrestler he wasn't a jobber a jobber is a guy who got pinned every time he went out there now
salvatore belomo would beat up on
some, you know, he'd beat up on the jobbers
and then he'd go against like the
Iron Sheik or Georgie Animal Steel
or one of the better heels and he'd get
beat himself, you know? He was fun.
He'd clap his hands. He'd dive around.
He'd do drop kicks and everything.
I think that's what the Bucs are and that's why I don't think you
didn't even mention them in the teams that can make the playoffs
but we don't ever want to cross them off see you were almost there
with that analogy and you had the wrong wrestler what do you want to say SD Jones no they were
they're the unpredictable Johnny Rods oh Johnny Rods okay Johnny Rods his nickname literally was
the unpredictable Johnny Rods this was a little more job I don't remember him beating too many
guys that's that's the only thing
yeah I was going to say maybe Iron Mike Sharp
because he actually did get pushed a couple times
but could never
he was like a tweener
he was between jobber and semi-push
exactly he was tremendous
he had that forearm brace
he had that injury
but you know after like two three years
he didn't give up the brace,
and he would actually use it to his benefit.
He would slug it at a guy, and that was his finishing move.
You know, obviously, there are so many wrestling shows now.
They should be stealing from old ideas like that, right?
Yeah.
Because I thought the cast that the guy might not totally need
was one of my favorite wrestling gimmicks.
Iron Man Sharp, Cowboy Bob Orton.
Yeah, yeah.
Really good.
Cowboy Bob Orton had the cast on for a year and a half.
Yeah, it was great.
Well, I have the Saints laying three in Tampa Bay.
Oh, you went light.
I did?
I said six and a half, and it's five.
Do I get that?
Yeah, I was off a point and a half.
You were up to.
Hmm.
Five points.
Now, they played already.
October 6th, 3124 Saints at home. I always feel like these games are close. Five points. Now they played already. October 6, 3124 Saints at home.
I always feel like these games are close.
Buck Saints.
No matter what year it is.
I'm scared of the Saints now.
I don't know.
I want to see a couple of good games out of them again.
We see this.
I was like, oh, it's going to be great.
Kamara hasn't played with breeze and this defense and Thomas.
There's like been like two games that they've all played together.
And then this happens.
This one was in the running for marquee game,
but at least we know it's a full fledged watchable.
We're getting to the time of the year.
When you look at this Pat's Eagles game that we're about to talk about when
weather could be a factor.
Hey, Google, what is the weather forecast for Philadelphia next Sunday?
There'll be scattered showers there Sunday with a high of 49 and a low of 42.
Whoa.
Scattered showers, Sal.
They never, do they, the weather, that could change.
Maybe it'll be real showers the weather can't
change if Google's saying scattered showers
eight days from now that's what's got a big
point Google did say I
this game is in Philadelphia
I think the Patriots are going
to be favored by three points
I said three and a half and it's four
so I add you out there
that's
will you win this game? Will you freaking win this
game? And hopefully the Cowboys will beat
the broken Lions and
back where we were before tonight.
Just tell me when I can
feel good about my offensive line again because
I'm not there yet. No,
I'm not there yet. Barely
watchables.
By the way, you want to talk about fan bases
that kind of secretly hate their teams right now?
The Eagles are up there.
Secretly hate them, really?
The Eagles fans, I think they're just frustrated.
If you can get two Eagles fans talking about the Eagles
and really get, like in about three minutes in,
they start laying into everybody in the team.
It's great.
And they start complaining about,
I got this from an Eagles fan
the other day.
Well, if your guy
had just taken the Indianapolis job,
we never would have lost Frank Reich.
Oh, interesting.
He bounced Doug out.
Got that one from somebody recently.
What do you say to something like that?
I just, you let the Eagles fans vet.
Yeah.
Barely watchables.
First one,
Cowboys Lions in Detroit.
Detroit has,
has Detroit was who we thought they were.
Took a while to get there.
I have the Cowboys favored by three and a half in Detroit.
That's what I said.
It's a three.
Okay.
I,
they,
who is this?
This is Tresco.
This is the, the old bangles quarterback right the
play today wasn't awful yeah but he was not mediocre no i had a game i don't know i guess
he kept he kept his team in that game it's before trubisky remembered how to throw a pass in the
third quarter but um yeah they have to win this.
This is now a must win for the Cowboys.
The Matt Stafford thing.
How do you think that conversation went?
Where he's like, I really want to play.
Like, you can't.
I really want to play.
You have broken bones in your back.
Yeah.
I don't care.
Just get me a brace.
I want to go out there.
I have this streak.
Matt?
That is unbelievable.
And I woke up and I have him in a fantasy
league and I'm like, oh, crap.
Don't be a puss, but just play. And I'm like,
a broken bone right back.
My God. I think we'd hear about this
on Thursday. I know he was like,
not a full participant in practice and everything else.
Matt, here are the x-rays.
See those
broken bones? Those are in
your back. You can't play.
You're not allowed.
Yeah.
That goes with us giving you $700 million.
We get to decide which bones are important.
I wanted more information about the broken bones.
So they're not ribs?
They're just broken bones?
I thought there was more than one broken bone in the back.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Sit him down.
Next one.
Vikings. Home
for the Denver
Broncos. I don't know why I didn't put this in the
poopfecta, but I actually kind of enjoy watching
the Vikings. I think Dalvin
Cook is one of the most
fun guys to watch right now.
And you got one of the Allens on the other side, right?
Yeah.
There's no Flacco.
I had the Vikings by nine and a half.
You're going to get this.
I went low.
I said seven.
Oh, this is before I saw them beat the Cowboys.
I went seven.
It's nine.
Yeah.
Well, you want that in a teaser basket.
That looks like the fuck job bed of the week.
Is it like 21,
17 late?
Yeah.
You're like,
who's,
how does this Allen have three touchdown passes?
Right.
His car cousins.
Why has he been sacked seven times?
I won't be putting that in tease.
This one I'll be thinking about 49ers home for the Cardinals.
So I've,
I've watched the cards
a couple times the last few weeks.
Interesting team.
They have a pass rush.
Like they can actually do some stuff.
They can run the ball.
They have a couple receivers
that can make a play.
Well, Christian Kirk was hurt
until this week
and then he seemed to have
like three steps on everybody.
They're not bad, is my point.
I would not put them in like the bottom eight
or bottom nine or something like that.
I actually think they're closer to, you know,
that Buffalo range that maybe we think.
And I like some of the stuff their coach does.
Kingsbury.
They're just stuck in a terrible division.
Terrible in that they're going to be hard-pressed to win any games
at 3-6-1 in that NFC West where everyone's at each other's throat.
But they played the 49ers two weeks ago.
I know we haven't guessed the line yet, but that's in their memory bank.
Two weeks is pretty close.
They lost that game by three points on a Thursday night.
It was a good battle.
Yeah.
They are, to me, the perfect young team in this respect.
They actually, like, they're aggressive.
They take chances.
They do things that you do when you know you're not going to make the playoffs,
but you're trying to build a new culture.
You know, they did that crazy punt fake play today, and it worked.
But it was a really cool play.
And it was like a drop your balls on the table kind of play but
that coach just doesn't give a shit i kind of like it adrian adonis not the obese flower shop guy
of the nfl i don't know but i like i think that's how you should be thinking when you're a team
that's not going to make the playoffs and you have a really good young player and why not be
aggressive in these games what's the worst thing that's going to happen?
That's Kingsbury.
Yeah, if you see them as a college coach.
Yeah.
Well, they almost won the Tampa game because of that play.
And then Tampa had a really nice drive to come back.
But it was impressive.
I have 49ers by 10.5.
This is high.
I said 11.5.
It's 13.5.
That's too high.
The Cardinals are competent.
I don't agree.
I can't believe the,
I mean,
I get,
I can't believe the team's undefeated there.
I guess they should get all the respect in the world,
but even six and a half against Seattle,
now 13 and a half against Arizona.
These are division games.
My God,
one of these needs to be close,
right?
That feels like it should be close.
Plus coming off like,
you know,
however, the Seattle, the Seattle Monday night game, I'm sure that's going to be a war. Yeah. right that feels like it should be close plus coming off like you know however the seattle
the seattle monday night game i'm sure that's going to be a war yeah and then you got to play
this five and a half games later kyle what do you what are your thoughts on kyler murray after 10
weeks from what you've seen i think he um it's funny he made a a remark about the uh heisman
trophy winner and i was like hey like during the I was like, why don't you worry about winning offensive rookie of the year?
This is something that you take every snap.
You should be running away with this award.
Yeah.
Daniel Jones already had four touchdowns,
but you know,
he's not going to win.
And you're getting this to Jacobs basically on the Raiders who didn't say a
word and hard knock,
didn't do anything to publicize himself.
Yeah.
But I think a couple more games
like this. I don't mind
him at all as a franchise quarterback.
Would you? I think he's been
good.
He hasn't been as electric as
I thought maybe he was going to be.
He's also young and he's trying to figure it out.
He can definitely make different
types of throws. He can extend plays.
He's basically as advertised.
I like him.
Poop Fecta, we got four games.
Start with Colts-Jags.
My Ewing Theory Colts, man.
I guess the Ewing Theory just jumped on the Nationals
and never looked back.
Just ditched the Colts.
It was really grim watching them today.
They just have no above average skill players
other than Marlon Mack.
Well, yeah, but wouldn't it be a revised Ewing theory?
Like it's if the,
so now Luck is out,
that's the Ewing theory.
Brissette is out.
So it's like Ewing,
they lost Ewing and Charles Oakley.
Yeah.
So it's a Ewing-Oakley theory
if they had won today.
It's kind of past the point of no return
for them, unfortunately.
Although I will say Frank Reich did something that drives me bonkers today.
What did he do?
This is like the fifth time this year it's happened.
They had three timeouts left.
They're losing the game, and it's in the last minute,
and it was fourth down.
And it's not going great.
But I think they were like around maybe the 20, something like that.
They had scored touchdown. Fourth and 10 around maybe the 20, something like that. They had scored touchdown.
Fourth and 10 or fourth and nine, something like that.
I think they're on the 18.
And Hoyer calls a timeout.
It's like, all right, now it's like, if we don't get this, we're losing.
Right.
I'm all for it.
Three timeouts.
That's what Jason Garrett miraculously held onto his today.
Keep your damn timeouts.
You'll get a whole nother shot at it. If you have the three, don't waste one of the timeouts. That's what Jason Garrett miraculously held on to his today. Keep your damn timeouts. You'll get a whole nother shot at it.
If you have the three, don't waste one of the timeouts.
Now the game ends if you don't get this.
Exactly.
I don't understand why people can't figure that out.
I have the Colts by three and a half at home over the Jaguars.
I said three.
It is right now three.
Seems fair.
That's a stay away of all stay aways.
Yeah, that's fair.
I don't care what's going on.
Bills are at Miami.
This is going to be a terrible game.
I have the...
Man, I had trouble with this.
I wanted to say Bills by three,
and then I thought,
people are still not buying into this Miami thing,
even though they've been pretty solid
for like four or five weeks here.
So I settled at Bills by four.
I said four and a half,
and it's six and a half.
Six and a half. That's a half. That's too high.
It's too high.
They beat him by ten three weeks ago, but
that's too big a number, right?
Kudos to Brian Flores.
That dude's
done a nice job. That team plays hard, and
they have five guys I've heard of.
You made a ballsy bet today.
A lot of people are like, oh, so take
an underdog once in a while. Don't take favorites on teasers. It's not such a ballsy bet today. And a lot of people are like, oh, so take an underdog once in a while.
Don't take favorites on teasers.
It's not such a ballsy bet.
Miami plus the points was a ballsy bet.
Did you have them in a teaser too?
I teased them with the under.
Yeah.
Easily won.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was nice.
I want to start just making weird bets because anytime I try to do conventional bets, it
seems like they lose.
I mean, you look at it today. I was reading online today because they have all this intel
now from all these different casinos because now they have casinos in New Jersey, all these places.
And at some point they said it was like 9.30 in the morning our time that 95% of the money
in the Chiefs-Titans game was on the Chiefs in some form. And I saw that and I was just like, oh, so the
Titans are somehow going to cover this.
Of course, this is
why we keep building casinos.
That's my masses
or asses theory.
But the problem is a lot of the good teams
carry a big number like that. 75-80%
on the Ravens and the teams
at 1-2. But underdog's worse 7-3
today against the spread. Pan Falcons I had no idea what to do this is when it's in Carolina
I put the Panthers by nine it might be too high oh I think we split this because we were both
two and a half points off I said four it is six and a half. Yeah.
Oh, so the Falcons look good for one game and now we're willing to
think they're a good team again?
That's basically it. That's ludicrous.
Yeah. And they play in like two or
three weeks again too. Did you see Matt Ryan's
pick with like four minutes left?
Yeah, it was nice. As they were closing out the game
and they decided to get cute and throw
and he just throws it. It was a classic, terrible Matt Ryan pass.
Taunting Drew Brees.
He didn't even have a good game, Matt Ryan.
No.
I really don't know how that ended up the score it was.
Saints are bad.
Raiders are home for the Cincinnati Bengals.
And this is, if Josh Jacobs wants to put away
offensive rookie of the year,
this would be a nice place to start.
I have the Raiders amazingly by 12 points.
You're going to get it here.
I said 13.
I went higher.
It's 10.
And I don't think they get tripped up.
Last year,
crown Royal launched the first off the field water break to encourage fans of
the game to moderate and hydrate to stay in the game.
Whether you're watching in the stadium, watching at home, or in a bar,
have a great time.
Enjoy some Crown.
Don't be that person that ruins it for everyone.
Make the right call and take a water break.
So who made the right call this week?
Who made the right call?
I'm going to say the Raiders made the right call for moving,
and I have a story attached if you'll listen to it.
Yeah, let's hear it.
So I'm doing Thursday night football.
I'm doing a live hit on the game in the pregame.
Thursday morning, I tape Lock It In live in San Francisco
because no one stays in Oakland.
So I tape it in San Francisco from 1.30 to 2.30 in our hotel in like a conference room.
They have the camera set up.
Now, it should take a half hour to get over the bridge.
I'm done at 2.30.
I'm downstairs 2.35.
I have a 4.40 live hit in Oakland Stadium.
We get on the bridge and it ain't moving.
It's not moving for anything.
I don't know. One of those things like five lanes is down to two lanes. We don't know what it is.
We're freaking out. I'm not going to get there. Finally, it starts to move. It's 425. I have a
440 hit and we're still like a half a mile away. And so I get out and Brother Bri is with me from Against All Odds podcast.
I'm like, we got to run.
We have to run.
And it was like sprinting through Fallujah because everyone's like, hey, man, you want
tickets?
Hey, come on.
You got it?
Who needs?
Who's got it?
Who needs?
I have to get through this whole crazy war zone of people.
And I finally do.
And then they see my Fox Pass like, oh, fancy guy with his Fox Pass.
Oh, maybe we'll
take that from you. I'm like, I'm going to get mugged. Best case scenario. I get mugged. I'm
never going to make it miraculously. We get three good answers from security guards as to what door
we should enter. And our pass is good and everything's all right. I get through, I get
mic'd up at four 36 for a fourth 40 hit. I'm in the black hole. I'm with all those maniac fans and
I'm sitting in with them. I'm actually in like right there, there's a gorilla,
and there's all painted faces and there's a spike shoulder pads and everything.
And right before we go live, I feel a hand in my pocket, my back pocket.
And I was like, you got to be... And I turn around, I grab the hand and I bend the wrist back
and I turn around and there's this guy. I was like, are you kidding me? He's trying to pickpocket
me in the black hole. The camera's pointed at us. He doesn't even care that the camera's pointed at
us. He doesn't know if it's on or not. And I turn around, I'm like, will you fucking behave yourself?
We're on live TV in like 40 seconds. And he looks at me, he's like, maybe something wrong with him. Maybe not. I don't know. But then I did the live hit.
I'm sweating like a pig. You could see my armpits are sweaty and everything.
I get out there and I really don't know how I survived it. And that was my,
I can cross pickpocketed in the black hole off my bucket list.
Well, so this guy had your wallet halfway out of your pants?
Yeah, he was ready to pull it up.
And I don't even know how I felt it, but I was kind of maybe hyper aware.
And I just grabbed his wrist and turned it.
I mean, I guess it would have been a good score for him.
I robbed the TV guy and he didn't know about it.
What an amazing story.
How are you not covered in sweat?
I don't understand that part. I don't know what I mean. I'm pretty story. How are you not like covered in sweat? I don't understand that part.
I don't know what I mean. I'm pretty bad. I look great. Well, first of all, when I have those guys
around me, you know, I'm not, I'm not going to stand out so much, but, um, but you know, other
than that, I want to thank Vito and Mark for hooking me up. Cause then I ended up sitting in
the, the, like the president's box, which doesn't have a bathroom.
That's how bad off the stadium is.
It doesn't have a bathroom.
So you have to go into the common bathroom outside the president's box.
And I'm seeing a Chargers fan getting pushed around a urinal.
And there's all kinds of smoke.
I'm like, oh, they have to get out of here.
They have to get out.
They have to go to Vegas now.
Go Monday.
Everybody get on a Southwest airline jet.
The president's suite doesn't have a bathroom?
No.
See, now I'm going to get in trouble, but it is the truth.
Yeah.
Wow.
They said they sell RC Cola.
I went to the concession stand.
They have RC Cola and Hawaiian Punch lemonade.
That's how you know they're not even trying anymore.
All right.
I really enjoyed that.
Remember, Crown Royal reminds everyone this football season to take
a water break and
moderate to stay in the
game and don't don't
take Sal's wallet.
What happened?
You didn't have a you
didn't have a water
break.
You did mine.
I think the years was
good enough for both of
us.
You know who I was
going to give it to if
you didn't use that one.
What?
I didn't give it to you.
Why?
What happened?
You made the right call
leaving your
own party the other night you really did you loaded up on crown royal and you were responsible
enough to leave my wife had a little uh surprise party for me that a lot of people were there and
unfortunately um dave jacoby was there and that usually means there's going to be
shots and I
probably did too many shots and I made the right
call. It was time to go. I left
before I started pickpocketing myself.
Well, we missed you. We had a blast.
I lasted until
12.15. We had a good time at your party.
The following story is
absolutely true. I woke up
the next day and
my contacts were gone.
They weren't
in my eyes. They weren't
in where I put my contacts
when I put them away at night.
I don't know what happened
to them.
They're just gone.
When you said my contacts were gone, I thought
you meant all your friends and your phone. No, my contact lenses.
Oh, okay. All right. Good. I don't know whether I took them off in the Uber on the way home to
punish myself or what, but that's never happened to me before. Woke up the next day, no more
contacts. Just gone. Not in my eyes, not in my body, not in the container, nothing.
So is that kind of...
Not in the bathroom?
Where do you put them every night?
Like in the bathroom?
I took them out and I don't know when, where, or why, but they were not anywhere to be seen.
So I had to open up new contacts.
I know a nasty Raider fan who might have access to them.
You never know.
Well, it was speaking of that,
this next one is Kendall Roy's poop bed,
which is how it could have ended up for me
when I woke up that next morning.
We have a really terrible game this week.
It's really especially awful.
The Jets are in Washington.
I have the Jets favored by three points,
which is incredible, but true. I cannot imagine a world where Washington three points, which is incredible,
but true.
I cannot,
I cannot imagine a world where Washington is favored,
but maybe I'm wrong.
All right.
I beat you this week.
Cause I have Washington by two and it's Washington by one.
Hmm.
And shame on anybody for thinking of taking either side here.
Usually like with these games,
there's fans from the other team,
but like what jets fan is going to want to go to this game.
Who's going to this game.
Anyone?
I don't think so.
No,
I don't think one person.
No,
I would say,
you know,
it's funny because case Keenum is questionable for this game.
So you couldn't find the line a lot of places,
but I did find one,
but,
uh,
I don't know if you could have any of the last five quarterbacks on
either team, would you even bet this game?
I don't know who would have to be taking snaps here.
Yeah, like when Stafford got knocked out this week, it moved the line,
what, four points?
Yeah, right.
I don't know what Redskins quarterback would move the line anyway.
No.
It's not happening. It doesn't matter. Sunday night the line anyway. No. It's not happening.
Doesn't matter.
Sunday night, Bears-Rams.
It's in LA.
There's going to be a lot of Chicago fans there.
It is a loser-leaves-town match.
I initially thought this game was in Chicago,
and I had the Bears by one and a half,
but it's in LA, which means the Rams will be favored by four points.
I said six.
It's six and a half.
And I think this is a Sean McVay
get your shit together. I'm going to fire
every one of you kind of game.
So you think he lays it out this week
for them? Yeah, I think he has to.
And if you want to point to one good thing
happening and not that Mason Rudolph is going
to, you know, you're going to expect
a 400-yard game from him anyway, but that defense
played well. It did. It's been a while.
It's been a while since they all came together and
played well.
Unfortunately,
their offense.
Monday night, Chiefs at
Chargers, unless this is
in Mexico. Is it in Mexico?
It is in Mexico.
So it's Chiefs Chargers in Mexico, which means the Chiefs, I think, will be favored by six.
The Chargers are not even a professional team anymore.
Wherever they go, they don't have fans that travel.
They don't have fans that see them at home.
They're going to Mexico.
You said six.
I said four, and it's four
and a half. Killed me this week. Yeah, that was a bloodbath. I'm not in great shape this weekend.
That was about it. Friday night killed me. Saturday wasn't much better, and I'm playing
with half a deck tonight. I don't know if you could tell. I need you to not find your contacts,
and I'll be fine the rest of the year.
It actually happened to be
one other time, I think, when I was
23, where I woke
up and the contacts were just gone. I didn't know
what happened. I don't know if I just
don't know. I don't have an answer.
I don't know where they would have gone.
I don't know why I would have taken them out, why I wouldn't have put
them in a safe place.
I just decided I didn't need them anywhere.
You killed me this week.
It's time for Parent Corner.
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be. Check them out today at CarMax.com. Sal, you have the floor.
Oh, yeah. Well, you know what?
I don't have anything great for this week, but I did post a video.
This happened last Sunday, but I didn't even know the video existed.
My mother shot it of my son running all the way down the field and slide tackling and taking a kid out.
And it was as red as a red card can go.
I mean, he ran the length of the field
and took him out right before he shot on goal.
And it has like 500,000.
I called him a dick on Twitter.
Maybe I shouldn't have done that,
but it has like a half a million views on Twitter.
And I was getting a lot of feedback, mostly negative.
But from you, you gave me some positive.
You were one of the few that gave me positive.
Like, that's good.
Those are good instincts.
That's a terrible kid, but those
are good instincts, right? No, I like that he has a
nasty side because I think with boys' soccer,
you have to have that side or you're not
going to make it. But boys
said not as necessary in girls,
but boys. Yeah, because
the boys are nasty. We watch some
when my daughter has the games and there'll be
a boys' game on a field next door and we watch
them. Those kids are like trying to kill each other.
Really?
Yeah.
It's interesting.
And cause this is now, so this is week eight or nine.
They haven't, not only haven't they won since week one, they haven't scored a goal as a
team since week one.
So it's all about, this is what it is.
It's all about, these are five-year-olds running after and just taking guys out because
they know they can't score a lot of fun.
Well, I, I have a good parent corner
that will take the one you had
and push it up a level
because it involves my kid playing sports.
My son, Ben.
Football playoffs.
First game is against a team
that they had beaten the week before
by like three touchdowns.
My son is in sixth grade, but he's playing the seventh grade team.
Nice.
With four of his friends and then some seventh graders.
And they weren't going to win the whole league,
but they had a chance to make the finals potentially.
They're up 22 to nothing in the first half.
And it seems like it's, and I'm not there. Thank God.
Cause I,
I honestly would have lost my mind and I don't know what would happen.
Um,
on the sidelines,
it's decided that they're going to ease up a little bit.
So it's not a blowout because this is,
you know,
this is a classic thing that happens out here in LA.
It's a little softer out here.
Let's be honest.
Like it's a tiny bit softer.
Don't want to run up the score. My whole feeling is it's a playoff game here. Let's be honest. It's a tiny bit softer. Don't want to run up the score.
My whole feeling is it's a playoff game.
You can't fuck around.
Three scores is not a big enough weed when you're talking about 12-year-olds.
My son five days earlier was dressed like Jack Nicholson from The Shining,
limping around with a fake ax.
I mean, these are not brain surgeons.
So we ease up, and the other team starts coming back.
And because we had a younger team, it just kind of falls apart.
So all of a sudden, I think we're up 24-22.
We have the ball and the other sideline's going crazy.
We have a chance to put the game away.
We got screwed by a couple of calls.
And at some point there's some call or some flag or some flag guarding penalty
or something.
And one of the kids on our team goes, that's fucking bullshit.
I'll get you take one guess who, who got the 10 yard penalty for that.
Uh, was it your son, Ben?
Well, it's even worse because they thought it was somebody else on the team and they
gave him the penalty.
And the kid that they gave the penalty to is somebody who had never in a million years
swear, unlike my degenerate son, who was so mad that they were losing this game that he
just lost it and in a swearing.
And then,
10-yard penalty, we go backwards, it ends up missing
the drive. So now he's like... 10's not bad.
Not 15, 10. Which one?
10-yard penalty?
It's 10-yard swearing penalty, I guess, in
seventh grade football. So now
he's so upset, he feels like he cost
the game. But we're still
winning, and he's upset, and the sid like he caused the game, but we're still winning and he's upset.
And the sidelines,
the whole thing comes down,
they get a play and it's supposed,
the clock's supposed to run and the game's supposed to end.
For some reason,
they stopped the clock,
giving them a chance for like a Hail Mary throw,
which of course they complete.
And our team loses.
And we get knocked out of the playoffs in round one after having a 24 point
lead.
Yeah.
Or 22 point lead,
whatever it was.
That's not good.
And then my son is convinced that because he swore during the game and they,
they didn't put the game away in the last drive that it was his fault.
Well,
listen,
and then you probably said,
no,
no,
no,
it's not your fault.
Let him take one of these every now and then let him say,, yeah, Ben, yeah, you shouldn't have said anything.
We did say, you know, this is what happens.
This is, we tell you not to swear,
and then you actually swear and you get a 10-yard penalty in a playoff game.
Right.
So I think there's some lessons.
And he told you to fuck off.
So the lesson here is if your son is swearing when he plays fortnight and you're telling him
don't swear please stop swearing but then every once in a while he still swears
this could eventually come back to backfire yeah in a really big way at some point
so that is a good lesson our kids are rotten i stand by stand by what I said about your son.
I like that he has a nasty side already at age five.
Yeah.
Might lead to a couple red cards down the road, but it's fine.
I hope.
I don't know if there's a prison soccer team, but he'll be a willing participant.
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All right, Sal, what do you got to plug?
Oh, I'm at the
pregame show. I'll be doing a bit on Thursday night.
Football Steelers Brown this week on
Fox Thursday night. Locking in Monday
through Friday, 4.30, 5.30 Eastern on FS1.
And that's it.
Oh, against all odds, we'll be covering all the big games.
Me, Brother Bri, Parley Kidd, and Harry.
There you go.
All right.
We'll know a lot more next week, I feel like, about the NFL in general,
especially when we get through a couple of these murky
games. Yes, we will. Oh, we did. The one
other thing we haven't talked about is
the bizarre end of
Francesa drive time and W fan.
I don't know what to
believe because I see all this, but it's
he, but he's still doing
a smaller thing. What's going
on? Well, he's leaving the fan.
He's not going to have his drive time show anymore,
but he's going to do this radio.com thing.
But the whole thing is just very odd.
Well, it's even more bizarre because,
and I'm joking when I say this is what precipitated it,
but he was accused of farting.
And then the next day he defends himself, said he didn't fart on air. And then the next day, he defends himself,
said he didn't fart on air.
And then the next day, he announces that he's quitting the fan.
So I hope that didn't have anything to do with it.
It definitely, my feeling was that it was probably related, right?
He's probably just like, no, he's just,
he takes so much shit online because he's got people.
He's just had enough. Yeah, videotaping these five-hour shows waiting for him to fuck up and then they put the
videos up and uh maybe i love it but i feel as someone who has to give out 70 picks a week on
on tv i i get it i get it you you have to make opinions and in my case you have to make
picks he makes picks and then they just pounce and they clip it off.
And it's usually funny, but it probably gets on his.
And I think he has kids, right?
Doesn't he have kids like 14, 15 or probably like a dad?
This one saying this, right?
So now it's like a different story.
I had it on Saturday.
I tweeted about how well the Celtics were playing.
I was like, I can't fight it anymore.
This team looks awesome.
And Hayward broke his hand like two minutes later.
Right.
I don't know whether it was by fault.
Did you see the Logan Paul fight?
That was the last thing I wanted to ask you about.
I did see it.
Did I see it?
I bet on it.
I actually bet KSI.
What was the line?
He was like plus 138 or something stupid.
We all watched it last night.
And I got to say, I was shocked by the quality of the fight.
It was good.
They actually looked like real boxers.
Right.
And the crowd was really into it.
Yes.
I thought it was good.
I was very surprised.
I was like, this is going to be a bust.
And I thought it was a fair decision too.
I actually thought KSI won like four rounds.
Yeah.
They gave Logan Paul a two-point penalty
for doing something that in a normal boxing match
he would immediately get disqualified.
Right, that's true.
And they pretty clearly did not want to fight then on a DQ.
He held KSI's head and delivered an uppercut
with the offhand, right?
Yeah, and then after he went down,
he punched him in the side of the head.
It was like a double violation. He just would have gotten DQ'd in any other right? Yeah. And then after he went down, he punched him in the side of the head. Yeah. It was like a double violation.
He just would have gotten DQ'd in any other situation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was surprised by how entertaining it was.
But the reason I wanted to bring this up was, I don't know what happened.
There was some timing issue.
And they had a fight that was supposed to go on after the main event that they ended up inserting into before,
right before the Logan Paul fight. So right, right when you have almost the biggest audience,
they have this fight and it was four rounds. It was some dude named white chocolate
against Jonathan Batista and they do the records and it's like, and with a record of 19 and 15,
here he is Jonathan Bat batista and we were all
watching we were like what the fuck is going on the guy's record is 19 and 15 so you know in talk
shows when you run late they just bump you right it would just come back next next card so this guy
comes out and like about a minute and a half in he might have gotten hit in the back of the head
it was unclear and he goes down and he's just like this might've gotten hit in the back of the head. It was unclear.
And he goes down and he's just like, this is great.
I have a chance to grab the DQ.
And the announcers are kind of ridiculing him
and the whole thing.
And he gets up and he ends up getting a fight
with the guy he's fighting against after the bell
and just keeps throwing punches at him.
And they just DQ him anyway.
It was the weirdest 10 minutes.
I told Horowitz, who runs the zone,
I was like, I want to do a 24-7 about the rematch
of this ridiculous fight you had.
What was that?
But yeah, Jonathan Batista.
So now he's 19 and 16.
He's still three above 500.
I think boxing might be making a comeback.
I think it's good for the zone.
That Canelo is just a monster.
Knocking out light heavyweights now.
It gets me mad now because Floyd was so smart to fight him when he was young.
Oh, yeah.
22, 23 at the time.
Got him super early.
Now I think he's just too heavy.
He would destroy him.
Well, there's some good ones coming up because the Joshua sequel is coming up.
Wilder fights this week, right? Yeah. I'd be happy with destroying him. Well, there's some good ones coming up because the Joshua sequel is coming up.
Wilder fights this week, right?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
The Wilder sequel against Ortiz and then Joshua against Ruiz.
When's that one?
That's in the next two months, I think.
Is that December?
Yeah.
I want to watch both of those.
It's going to be fun.
The heavyweight division is more fun.
And I like the KSI Logan Paul.
I think these guys can get, you know, like Lenny Dykstra and the Bagel Boss.
That's a joke, but I'd like to see more guys who take it serious and want to fight.
Well, I was texting you and Jimmy from the Celebrity Boxing from 2002
when Danny Bonaduce fought Ron Polillo, Horshack.
No, it wasn't Bonaduce.
Oh, Screech.
Screech fought Ron Polillo
and uh it's pretty
riveting poor Ron Polillo
it was tough it was a tough one
clearly the first fight he had ever been in
he just got punched in the face
for 10 minutes and he was
by somebody who's 50 pounds bigger than him too
yeah but I
I don't mind the oddity thing but this is
I want to throw this idea at you and then we'll go yeah so I was thinking mind the addity thing but this is I want to throw this idea at you
and then we'll go
so I was thinking
because the fight before
was like two lightweights
like 130 pounds
but they were really good
and I was thinking
if we're heading toward this world
of like Logan Paul versus KSI
and stuff like that
what would it be
if you take one of the best lightweights,
best 130-pounders,
and you had them fight a 200-pound guy
who didn't really know how to box but was tough?
How big would the size difference be
before you would be absolutely fascinated
to see what would happen?
Give me an example.
Who's the heavyweight?
All right, so like Brother Bri.
How tall is Brother Bri?
Yeah, he's about 6'3".
6'3", like 210?
Yeah, that's right.
But doesn't really know how to box, right?
Oh, that's a tough one.
All right, because we would do this in wrestling
because we wrestled in high school.
So yes, there was a limit where a state champ wrestler
at a lightweight, yeah, eventually he's not going to beat an average 190 pounder if he's like 126 pounds state champ.
But I think he would be, yeah, no, I think like Brother Bri, he would have trouble with the 12 126 uh guy would would pepper him enough which
wouldn't knock him out but so a guy who's like 5 7 128 going against brother bry who's like 6 3
2 2 12 yeah and now brother bry catches him it's a different story because he's got some skills but
but i think i think these
guys are so used to moving in and out so what's your thing you want to you want to pit professionals
at a lighter weight against yeah i just what the hell are you talking about i would just want to
see it once like kyle let's say kyle against a bantamweight it's like 112 pounder right what do you think kyle guy's a skilled boxer and kyle has no
boxing experience at all yeah how how long have i been making good decisions at this point like
24 hours before 48 hours no you have like four weeks to train oh okay you could smoke as much
as you want for four weeks i believe in myself but i But I really think the zone might be onto something with this
Logan Paul KSI.
I'm ready to see weird shit
in boxing cards. We have these five
fights. Those are cruiserweights.
That said, Vasyl Lomachenko
beats up anybody we know.
Oh, that's, yeah. No question. He beats Doug DeLuca.
He beats any big guy we know.
But if you got to like 118 pounds
or 120 pounds,
at some point, the size would have to come into play.
Probably not going to hurt you as much.
But what I was thinking was,
I've never watched a boxing card for four straight hours, right?
So it's always like you end up watching the fight
before the main event and then the main event.
Nobody's like, oh, I'm going to sit down
and watch these seven fights in a row.
Yeah.
But they could get weird with a couple of the fights in there.
And maybe this would be one, maybe Brother Bri against the Bantamweight champ.
I like that.
All right, let's set it up.
Just think about it.
I want you to talk about this on Against All Odds.
I want to know what everybody thinks.
All right.
I like that.
The Cuz, as always, good job by you.
Good job by you, Billy. All right. Thanks to the Cuz. Thanks to State Farm everybody thinks. All right. The Cuz, as always, good job by you. Good job by you, Billy.
All right.
Thanks to The Cuz.
Thanks to State Farm.
Thanks to CarMax.
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Back on Tuesday with a very, very, very famous movie star.
Yeah, that's happening.
And don't forget, Book of Basketball 2.0,
we're dropping a podcast
late Monday night.
The next one in the series.
Stay tuned for that.
Until then. I don't have a few years
with him
on the wayside
on the front side
of the river
I don't have
a few years