The Bill Simmons Podcast - Drake’s Mystery Shoulder, Super Bowl Propalooza, and a Mega-Parent Corner With Cousin Sal and Jimmy Kimmel

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal run through their favorite prop bets for Super Bowl LX between the Seahawks and the Patriots (0:34). Then, Jimmy Kimmel joins the pod for Parent Corner (01:12:47). Host: Bill Simmons Guests: Cousin Sal and Jimmy Kimmel Producers: Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Chris Wohlers Bundle and Save Book now. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit⁠⁠⁠ www.rg-help.com⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You gotta love a good deal, whether that would be a quarterback on a short, low-risk contract who performs like a top-tier starter or Expedia's bundle and save feature, which allows you to combine flights, hotels, and cars,

into one package for impressive discounts. Not just that, but if you remember, you can book an item now, add select items later, and still enjoy bundled savings. I mean, I think of this from a parent standpoint when I know that I have to go cross-country to go see my daughter in college.

And if I could bundle all the stuff to one thing, when I know I'm going back anyway, now that is a winning strategy. Book now with Expedia. This episode is brought to by Dovemen Plus Care. The holidays are over, we're back at work, and yeah, that winter slump hits hard. Sometimes all it takes is a small change to your routine to lift your mood,

and it can be as simple as Dove Men Plus Care, aluminum-free deodorant. its mood-boasting sense, this e-odorant stick keeps you odor-free and feeling fresh for up to 72 hours. It may not seem like much, but the difference in your confidence will be massive. Visit dove.com to learn more. All right, we're live here on Netflix. I'm Bill Simmons. That's cousin Sal. You can also get this podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network and on Spotify. We're going live against the Grammys. There's a Knicks Lakers game. We don't care. We have so many props we want to get to. plus the faster we get this up,

the faster it's just on Netflix. You did this on HBO. Didn't you learn? You're right. You're right. Yeah, there's a lot. Listen, this is what people want to see.

We have, I have, I only have like, we can do this fast. I only have like 93, 94 props written down. So we can just blow through it. How many,

what do you have? I have less and I can't wait to go through all them. I want to talk about this weekend, though, because it was our first weekend without football in a while, which always makes you sad. I feel like everybody,

is getting better at scheduling stuff now. Like yesterday, we had, there was a Charlotte San Antonio game on, like in the morning, but West Coast time. Right. There was Royal Rumble live from Riyadh. Then we had UFC and we had boxing and we had more basketball and it was like this awesome sports day because I think all of the smart people now who run this stuff are like, hey, here's a dead day. There's no football. And plus there was golf. Right. So I actually did. I didn't miss the football that much this weekend. You think the sports gods were saying, look, we can do this. Let's span together.

We could figure this out by doing it. I think everybody's getting better at figuring out what the weekends are to exploit. I don't think it was an accident that all that stuff was yesterday because that's a dead weekend. We're going to Super Bowl next weekend. You know, I don't know that we're going to be so lucky every week to see a boxer get us too paid knocked off of the scalp. I mean, that's exciting. If that happens every week, sure, I'll get, I'll get through the offseason.

fine. I didn't love the Royal Rumble. I don't know how much you want to talk about. I didn't love, I didn't love it so early in the day. It ruined my family. We do a pool. We have we all get together and they had sports. So it was tough. There was no way they were going to go without finding out who won six hours. It's the one wrestling thing I would not give to a country that's far away. Yes. Because I feel like the people coming out, I love the reactions of whatever arena or stadium we're in in America. I also think that they didn't have the, uh, they didn't have, they didn't have, like the wacky nostalgia of people. You know, we didn't have like the doint the clown type of weirdo stuff.

We only had some iguana guy. So, yeah, it just felt like the energy was a little different. That's the fun, the iguana guy. You pick the iguana guy. You have them 18th. Like, ah, you point to whoever picked him. You're not going to win this. And listen, don't get me wrong.

I love Saudi Arabia. Love it. But I just, you're right. And it was too many. Yes, they should have more old timers in there. Now they've been replaced with like sister promotion guys with masks. Even our good friend, Gus, I think he was my friend first, didn't recognize a lot of the songs. Well, there was like five bodybuilder guys came out.

And they all kind of had the same body. I'm like, is this the new trend now? These guys come out and they're jacked. And one of the guys came out, they said his name was like Powerhouse Hobbs or something, but it's not his name anymore. And now his name is this. And I was like, I didn't know who Powerhouse Hobbs was either. Yeah, they had to keep going back and forth to what they were formally known as.

Yeah, so the guy has two identities. This isn't Prince. I mean, to me, it's like, just bring Hornswoggle out there. He's delightful. He's a small guy, right? You're good for a half dozen laughs. Probably don't have to pay him that much. Maybe they're afraid of little people in Saudi Arabia.

I have no idea, but that guy should be, he should be on every Royal Rumble. It is, the Royal Rumble is the best when you're in college and you have a bunch of people and everybody draws the numbers and then somebody shitty comes out. It's the funniest thing ever. And then the other time, it's super funny. And we've had it with both of our kids. with our sons who, you know, they have like four numbers and they're all excited their guys coming out. And then it's like the iguana guy. I remember my son throwing like some of the biggest

tantrums of his life because he wasn't happy. I was telling about it yesterday because we're just watching. It's like, what's up with this iguana guy? And I was like 12 years ago, you would have been the same mind. The Royal Rumble is responsible for probably 25% of the tears in this house for the last Three decades. Well, speaking of tears, we're going to do Super Bowl props. And then a little later we have some NBA future stuff. And then we have a very special parent corner with a special guest. Speaking of tears.

I've spent the entire week, my guard was, like, we did the pod last week, didn't know anything about Drake Man's shoulder. Monday, Tuesday, I'm like, it's got to be nothing. Then he missed a couple practices. Then they were a little dodgy in the press conferences for the most part. This is all my text threads. These are all my conversations. This is everything I talked to my dad about.

We don't even talk about the NBA trade deadline. We just talk about Drake May's shoulder. I have some little information that I found out. I have lots of thoughts, but I mention this because I think it makes it really hard to figure out the Super Bowl props. Because I don't know if he's a little bit injured. If this is a red herring, he's not injured at all.

Is he more injured than they're, letting on, we just found out that Josh Allen played with a broken foot for like five weeks. And they just didn't tell us. So if he has like sprained shoulder and they're like, well, we're going to check it in a week. It should be fun. Right. That's, I could live with that. If it's partial tear in the labrum and he can throw it and we have to shoot it up, now I'm worried.

So I was doing these props and I'm like, I have no idea if my QB can wing the ball or not. Listen, I think, you know, the bruised shoulder or whatever, he had like, what, he got sick this week to? He had some kind of tummy ache or something. He's, he's, look good. Did he get sick or was it like a little, they didn't want to have him throw the ball this week? And they're like, you're sick. This is, he's just obviously looking the bell on this game. I think the lights are way too bright, right?

Drake, maybe. Like, Drake maybe. You try to tell us in other ways by fumbling six times over the last three weeks. Just let him step aside. He brought you to the playoffs. Like, he did a good job. No, I don't know how serious to take this because it was all oblique, oblique, oblique for Sam Donald, and then it ended up being nothing.

So I think that's what a lot, most people are going off of like, all right, until it's a big deal, until we see it, it's not a big deal. Meanwhile, I have like Dr. Chow texting me. Is Bill mad at me? I don't want him to be mad at me. I was like, pull yourself together. Yeah, Dr. Chow is the Woodward and Bernstein of this. He was immediately on it with the video clip.

He's like, find out if he's mad at me. I'm like, you're a doctor. Pull yourself together. My goodness. Come on, Dr. Chow. Look, I've watched it a bunch of times. I've been watching. So even today, they land the plane.

Drake was carrying his bag with his right hand down the plane thing. I'm like, good sign. Carrying the bag with the right hand. Watching the fist pump he did after the winning scramble in the Denver game, did that with the right arm. So maybe it's okay. I will say, though, I have some tentacles out there

and the Patriots was a little bit of an off week. A lot of them are at the Celtic game on Friday, for instance. They've been around. And when people ask them, is Drake okay, he's going to be fine, right? You figure there's like three ways to answer that question, right? If this was Sal, it's like, is I'm going to be on the pod today?

I'm like, he's fine. He'll definitely be on. Right. Or you answer it like, no, no, he's playing. and if that's the answer, that makes me nervous. That's what they said. He's fine. He'll be guns blazing on Sunday.

Right. It's more like, no, he's playing. Interesting. I just don't trust it, Sal. It's making me really nervous. Yeah, that might be overthinking it. We've had a whole week, but it is his throwing shoulder. They asked Rable, how do you feel?

Like, are you worried about the whatever? And he was like, not much. Nobody is just definitively said he's going to be fine. Right. I don't know what to say. I just, look, you should be, you should have to play with the backup after all this nonsense, playing the schedule. Well, if we have Josh Debs. 13 of 17 teams who games, teams fired their coach.

Like, well, you don't think you have a chance unless May plays this game? I don't think we have a chance. It does explain a couple of his throws in the fourth quarter, though, if his shoulder was a little banged up. Because there was specifically one in the, he's always gotten better as these games go, long all year. Right. It was one throw over the middle that he kind of bounced in the after he took that hit, which was like with two minutes left in the third quarter. And that was the one that I look back on. I'm like, oh, man. Like, so maybe shoulder sprained, maybe they need a week. Maybe they'll be, maybe on Wednesday, it'll be like his shoulder's fine. And if he's fine,

I'm going over on a bunch of like 20 and a half completions. I can't wait to see how many overs you go with him now. Well, but that's, I don't know if he's healthy or not. But if he is healthy, when you think we did this once it was one of the Brady's Super Bowls against Seattle and we both loved the completions, the over because we were like Seattle, they play safeties back, you got it dink and dunk and pick them apart. It's going to be a lot of completions for Brady.

And I think that would be the recipe for the Pats, right? Just six yards, five yards, try to move the ball, keep the ball, and he would have like 25 completions. But if he's not healthy, I wouldn't want to bet that now. Right, but I don't know, do you think, so let's say he's playing. Let's say he's playing for sure.

He's definitely playing. Right. So what information is actually going to get out between now and, you know, the anthem? Like probably none, as long as he's playing, right? It's like you said, afterwards we'll find out. This is what afterwards we found out about Josh Allen, right? This is kind of how most of this is. You can't hide during Super Bowl week. No, I'm just saying there's a line's not going to move. The practice in front of people. It's fine. I'm just saying it's completion number is not going to move between now and now, right? So you got to kind of. Can he throw the deep ball? He's been great on deep balls. You can throw the deep ball in Seattle. How much scrambling is he going to do? Right. I think part of the problem. I don't think it was just that one hit. I think he took a shitload of hits over three weeks,

right? Sure. He's sack 15 times, which is, I think, a record for the first three rounds. It's great. He got hit a whole bunch of other times where he got rid of the ball in time. And then he scrambled. I think he had 14 carries. He took hits on that, too. So it might have been an accumulation thing. That's what scares me probably the most. Well, your excuse is pretty well set now. I will say, you're good to go. These aren't excuses. The line hasn't moved. The best thing that I feel the best about is the line is not budged from four and a half. If it started creeping up to five, five and a half, I would get really nervous. Can I ask you, this is exactly what I wanted to ask you, like, which trends scare you, which give you hope, which do you

immediately write off as inconsequential? I'm going to read a few. You tell me, if you're talking, gambling trends or football trends? I'll read, I'll read these. Favorites, four and a half or higher, one in ten against the spread, the last 11 Super Bowls. I love that one. That made me feel great. Yeah. Okay. You love it. Underdogs of one, three. straight Super Bowls outright and covered five straight Super Bowls and are 15-7 against a spread in the last 22 years. It also sounds wonderful. You like that. Okay.

Pat's in white jerseys, which they'll be wearing on Sunday, five and O straight up this season. White jerseys, 16 and five in the last 21 Super Bowls. It's happy about that as well. You like that? All right. Yeah. No starting quarterback with a name less than five letters long has won a Super Bowl. Starting quarterbacks whose first and last name end in the same letter are 0 and 6 in Super Bowl.

since the AFC was formed. Starting quarterbacks with the initials, DM are 0 and 2 in the Super Bowl. Damarino, Donovan McNabb. What was the first name one? There's been quarterbacks. Five letters long. What about Jalen Hertz?

H-U-R-T-S. No starting quarterback with the last name, less than five. Oh, your last name? Yeah, last name less than five. Yeah. But here's the thing with Drake May is. His name is now one name.

Oh, yeah. It's like he's like Madonna. Like Drake is his name. Nobody calls him Drake. Nobody calls him. Has one person called him May ever in 2025 or 26? You know what? That's true.

Like I took a lot of crap. But if he actually changed his name to maybe, then he's got the five letters and you got the now he is in company. How about this? Just like which celebrity or influencers bet gives you the most comfort? Like Drake, the rapper, if he bet a million on Seattle. He's number one. The other Drake going big on Seattle.

Yes. Combined with Adam Corolla also betting on Seattle would be my two, my two most exciting things. Stephen A saying they don't have a shot. That's pretty good. He'll take that. Stephen A saying he could see Seattle winning 60 to nothing made me feel really good. Yeah. I like there was some graphic of all the ESPN people and everyone had Seattle. I felt great about that. Yeah. I think that Seattle fans are a little nervous about the fact that they're the favorites. And, you know, they've, even like in week 18, they were minus one and a half against the Niners, right?

People are like, are we sure? Like, in the Niners, had like, half a team. And it wasn't really until, I don't know, were they even, did they even have their respect in the Rams game? What did the Rams line end up? Not really. I mean, it would have been, it was under three, right?

Yep. Yeah, it was two and a, two and a half, three and a half, yeah, jumped around there. Yep. It's funny because their defense is obviously really good. Mm-hmm. But it's not, it's not like the defense. when we've seen defenses just win a Super Bowl,

like our favorite example of the 2000 Ravens. I think the Seahawks Broncos Super Bowl is a good one. There's been a couple where the defense just crushed it. The Seahawks don't get like a ton of sacks. Like I was going through their box scores. They had like one sack in the Rams. They'll get pressure. They're good at like Ben don't break.

They're good at getting stops. But they're not like overrunning you the way like I think the Texans would or something. Stafford had their number, you know. He threw it on him the whole game. They did. He definitely did. So you got to keep that going. And Kendall Jenner has a million dollars on the Patriots.

In a way, in a way, that's good, I think. Yeah, everything she touches. I don't want to mention this for too long. But the thing that made me the most nervous was craft being in a certain set of emails. Oh, I saw that. Over the weekend. I didn't really like that that much. Okay.

What's that? I don't know. That was tough. Yeah, it was a couple tough craft moments in the last week where he's become the family patriarch that you're just worried the entire Thanksgiving, something bad's going to happen. Right. Oh, no, we just got to give one more hour with grandpa before we keep moving. Yeah, it's amazing how many people, first of all, the question I get asked the most is,

why aren't I going, which I've already explained. Yeah. And people are really dumbfounded for the most part in person when I tell them, yeah, I can't go. and here's why. And they're like, I just can't believe you wouldn't go. But I don't think people understand what it's like to watch your team lose at the Super Bowl. No. And it's just not worth it for me. I get it. I definitely get it. But is this really going to continue for the rest of your life? Like let's say Drake maybe is just outstanding and you are a nine point favorite at some point to win the Super Bowl six years from that. I think it is. The only thing that could flip it is if my son got

really into the paths. I see. Which hasn't happened yet. But if all of a sudden, like this is happening to a couple of my friends actually have kids around Ben's age or younger where their kids have really gotten into it. Wilds was on the podcast Thursday talking about it. And I think if it's your kid and they want to go,

I think that would flip it. That's fair. Limping out of those two Giants games, I still think about it. It's way up there. It's really bad. No, it's easier to be home.

I don't mean to rub it in because your team hasn't been in or a while. I saw them win the Super Bowl against the Steelers. And it was not satisfying because I had the, I picked the over under wrong. So what are you going to do? How do we feel about the over, like before we go on in the props? Yeah. How do we feel about the actual over under and all that stuff? Like just the line staying at four and a half.

And then the over on, what is it, 45 and a half now? 45 and a half. Yeah, it was 46 and a half. But it's been 45 and a half. for solid four days now. So how do we feel about that? You know, I think it's like, we've seen enough Super Bowl.

I think it's too low. And I think like we've seen Super Bowls get out of hand, right? Sometimes you get out of hand early. But I feel like I was looking at this. This is one of my, my play is there number one and number two and explosive play margins, right? And that's basically explosive play offense

versus allowed on defense. So you might say, yeah, the defense is good at stopping these. But if you throw in the fact that there's a Super Bowl, there's nervousness, plays that aren't left in the tank, right? Because you use them now or you don't use them. There's no bad weather to consider. I really think that 45 and a half number could be off.

Like two of the last three years, we saw 62 and 73. You know, I just, and, you know, that last time they played it was 52. Should have been more if done for that fluky Malcolm Butler play. So I think it's a little low. I think you'd take an adjusted over. You know what's weird? If this was a championship weekend game, so it was like the AFC title or an FC title game. Yeah. I would think it's going to be like 40 or 35 37.5 something like that like

a defensive struggle and both teams like trying to have long drives. You're so right like the Super Bowl something about it just just makes it just plugs the game into the wonky machine. Yeah. And all bets are off and you get the one stupid play. There's always the chance somebody can run it up. I was watching they were showing Super Bowls all week and I was watching the, the Seattle-Dember game, ironically, that I forgot two weeks ago. How did you like it for the first time? Well, I forgot.

It started with a safety. Yeah. And it was like 5-0 at one point, and it was just really ugly, but then they eventually grew the weed. But then the other version of that was the Denver game when they beat, I think it was Carolina 24 to 10.

Yeah. And it was just kind of ugly, and I wonder if that's going to be this game. I know, I hear your point on the explosive plays, but if Drake's not 100%, I don't know how the Pats get to 24 and up. We could be due for that. What was it Rams?

It was Rams Patriots, right? That's what I was thinking about. No scoring forever. It was 3-3 with 10 minutes left. Yeah, unreal. Yeah. I hope it's not that. I mean, I don't need it to be 52-48,

but let's see each team score a couple touchdowns here. Well, because there's a couple of variables, too, because we mentioned Drake's shoulder. The Seahawks are really down to one running back. And that guy they played as the backup did nothing. And I don't think they feel great about him. But they're not going to have the same pass protection. You know, they have one and a half receivers.

Barner's fine. But there's a chance like with the way the Pat's defense, and the Pat's defense by all the advanced metrics, everything has been awesome now for like six, seven weeks. Maybe it'll be hard for them to score. I was wondering like that Seahawks Niners game, week 18. Yeah.

I think the final score was 13 to 3. There was a lot of settling for field goals. a lot of like choppiness and a lot of, felt like the entire game was in the middle of the field. Right. That could be that too. Could be. You know.

I mean, that's when Fendell cleans up, right? Because all the props, everything's, everything's leaning towards over. Speaking of Fandole. Yeah. Shout out to Fandall Canada.

Because sometimes in the American sites, it's harder to find all the bets. Fandle Canada was crushing it. We were passing, what did they have it on like Wednesday? They had everything. It's unbelievable. They had national anthem bets.

They really know how to do it in Canada. I think you and I, the Southwest go to Ontario, let's just fly out there. I'll spring for a boarding class tickets if we want. Canada's ready to roll. Speaking of Fando, we're going to take a break, and we're going to come back, and it is officially proper poise.

Let's do it. The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by Fandall. It may be last call for football, but there's still one more week to make account on Fandall all week. Fandall giving you a daily profit boost. Every day leading up to the big game, that means more chances to boost your bets and send football season off the right way. Play your game with Fandul, official sportsbook partner of Super Bowl 60. You must be 21 plus President Select States or 18 plus and President D.C., Kentucky,

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All right. So before we get to the props, you mentioned how the underdogs are 15 and 7 against the spread since 2004 and I've covered five straight. Yeah. Did we realize that trend was happening at any point during the Super Bowl runs when we were making picks? Because 15 and 7, I was actually surprised that that was the number. And maybe I have amnesia. I don't remember. 14 and 7 would have been nice. 13 and 7. The problem is like when the chiefs are staring at us as favorites a lot of those years. So what are we going to do? Yeah. And the Pats. And the Pats were the masters of winning but not covering a bunch of those. All right. Super Bowl props. We've been doing this. First time we did it was the, I think it was the Pats Giants, the first one. Right? Because I had my podcast for ESPN and 07 at that point. Yeah. So I think this is our. That worked well. That would be our 19th Super Bowl. This will be our 19th Super Bowl. This will be our 19th Super Bowl props. Yeah. Do you want to do the novelty ones?

first we talked about in Canada? Let's go serious. Let's go serious. Then we'll get goofy. Yep, yeah. So, Drake May, Drake May related stuff. We mentioned the 20 and a half completions over plus 1008,

mentioned the 50 plus rush yards, 2 to 1. The interceptions minus 138, which I think might, I hate to say it, but might be the best one either way. If he's healthy, he's going to be throwing the ball a lot.

Every round, he's either had a pick or it seems like he should have a pick. If he's not healthy, and his shoulder isn't great, then that might happen to. Donald is minus 128 for interception. I haven't seen a bet, have you, where you could bet on both guys to throw a pick?

I did. What are the odds on that? Plus 200. I like that. All right. So we're going to mark that one down, right? So you like the double pick plus 200? Yeah, it's weird because each quarterback two interceptions

is only plus 300. So both teams' interception is nice value there. Yeah, the two plus picks is. is out three to one. Okay. All right. So we'll get to the, let's do,

want to MVP first or touchdowns first? Let's do MVP. Let's work. Okay. We already know the result. So there was a great bet for this that I think we talked about our ringer gambling show on at least one of our shows with JSN a few weeks ago. I think Rahen was on that.

I forget who else. But I want to say it was like 18 to 1 before they played a playoff game. And the analogy was like Edelman, Cooper Cucson. up, like, sometimes a receiver can kind of own the game. He's really the only receiver. Those odds have dropped. Mm-hmm.

So he is... He's in the game, yeah. He is now, what, five to one, is it now? JSN is plus 550, I'm saying. Right. Two favorites are Dono plus 115 and maybe plus 230. Okay. So if you had to bet...

So important note for the young aspiring gamblers and people, who are going to parties this week, we want to make bets. We're not saying who we think is going to win the MVP necessarily. We're just saying what is the best value? Yeah. That we're looking at this like, oh, wow, those are the odds. I like it.

So what's your favorite? All right, I'm saying both, actually. I'm saying this is the best value, and I'm saying this is who's going to win MVP. And you could go MVP any other position or quarterback, any other positions plus 210, quarterbacks minus 260. I'm done.

I'm done, Simmons. Like, I know this is a boring pick. but I'm going quarterback. I know it's a giant number, but if I had a bet on exactly one thing, the whole game, it would be that a quarterback's going to be MVP. Three in a row,

three Super Bowls in a row, 12 out of the last 16. This is becoming like the regular season MVP where it almost has to be a quarterback. I mean... So what are the odds? It's minus 260. It sucks.

And I'm just saying everything else is a sucker bet. Like I like Cooper Cup at 100 to 1. That's ridiculous. That's way too high if you want to play some of the fun ones. You'll probably throw out a few defensive players. But honestly, once it gets to like 21 18, 2117, they're going to give it to a quarterback. And, you know, it could be where JSN has three touchdowns

and nobody else does anything. Then you have to kind of give it to them. But that's like the only scenario where anyone other than a quarterback gets it in a big offensive game, I think. Yeah, but why wouldn't you pick the team you think is going to win and then just either bet Donald plus 115 or may it plus 2.30? You could do that. You could do that.

Or you could just sit back for three and a half, four hours. than win. But you'll, you'll, you have more, cup is my long shot. What do you like? I'm sure you have some good ones to throw. I thought Remandre at 30 to 1 was pretty interesting. I just thought that line was really high, and especially if Drake isn't 100% healthy. I just think they're going to try to run or bust.

I actually really liked how the Rams ran the ball last week. I think Coram and Williams, I think they were like over four yards of carry, but I felt like they were moving the ball. They were in the hole. They fell behind. Yeah. I felt like the holes were there, too. So I like that one a little bit. I think for the wild cards, I mean, honestly,

Trayvion at 125 to 1 jumped out at me too. And he has been done nothing for a while. But there was, I'm going to give a reader named John P. sent this tweet along. It's from a tweet somebody named Pete Collins did. And it was about how Trayvon-Henerson has been crushing split safety looks this year. 68 carries, 319 yards, 2 TDs, almost 5 yards of carry. Best in the league among qualified running backs.

New England barely saw two high shells on offense. Seattle is the highest rate of two high shells, and they've allowed 5.0 yards per carry against them. And the reason I was thinking Henderson was sometimes the big-ass run can like just, like if it's like a 20 to 10 win and he has like a 78-yard touchdown run and runs for 100 yards,

I just thought those odds were crazy. So he's had two, and this plays to another bet I had with him that I thought was interesting for a running thing. 70 plus rush yards for him is 14 to 1. 80 plus, these are all in Fando. 80 plus yards is 25 to 1. He's at a 65 yarder and a 69 yard run this year. Yep. Twice.

So two and 20 games for them, 10% of the time he's busted one. This is the kind of defense that he's busted. So you're betting 10% of the time he does this, but I'm getting 25 to 1 odds at 80 plus yards. That's what it is for 80? All right. That's better than the one I wrote down, as long as we're giving love to Trayvon.

I had most rushing yards for Henderson at plus 2,000. Right. This makes more, the 80 plus makes more sense because then that would be like a 65-yard run and he would get like a 5 and a 10 or whatever, and he would get it. So, see, I had him down. and then for the other one is just Marcus Jones.

So do you know how many TDs Marcus Jones has this year? How many now? I don't know this one. He has four. Does he have that many? He has two defensive interceptions and two special teams touchdowns. And he's like an awesome kick returner. Right.

And I was thinking like, what if he had a kick return touchdown? And then what if he had a kick return touchdown and a defensive touchdown? I hate this. Or would it be a kick return and an intercept? but the odds are like nuts for him. They are, I can't even find them. Is it plus, is it 125 to 1? Is that what I'm looking at?

Yeah, I think that's what it is. Ernest Jones. Is that what he said? No, Marcus is 100 to 1. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, if they play this game 50 times, is there one version of this game where he busts a kick return touchdown and gets a pick? Yeah. And if he gets a pick, he's dangerous. You see, this is what I didn't want to do. I was all set on quarterbacks. Now you're going to make me bet six of these, including, you know, Jason Myers and all this other nonsense.

But you have to do it. It's the last game. I think the best, the single best bet to me is JSN. I just think for value. Yeah, 550 because odds are he's 10 for 125 with a touchdown. If he gets two touchdowns, he locks it. And we also have really good history of multi, I was looking at the multi touchdown game history. Right.

there's some good ones. Well, Cooper Cup was one of them, right? We were at that game. Cooper Cup. So in the last 10 years, Jalen Hart said the three touchdowns, so he doesn't count because they were running. But 22,

Cup had two. 21, Gronk had two for Tampa. 20, Williams had two. He's a running back. 18, Gronk had two. And then 17, James White had three.

And I think two of them were catches. So, because I was looking at, I think the two plus TD. bet is we get great odds on that. Rahim's always loved that one. Yep. That's a fun. I was trying to figure out who the best two plus TD bet guy would be,

and it's got to be him. That's JSN for sure. Yeah. It's plus 650 that he gets two TDs, so you can do that instead of the MVP bet. Because if he gets two TDs, it's probably one MVP. But he might not.

Yeah, I see. Yeah, I just the only thing is you got to get, for the MVP, you probably, all those guys you listed, how many receptions? Seven? Yeah, you have to go one-yard touchdown catches and nothing else, right? No, well, you've got to be nine for over 100, 7, 8, 9 catches for 110 to 140 yards. And you need at least one T, probably two.

If it's a higher scoring game, then you need two. Lower scoring game, you need one. I mean, cop had a bunch of catches. Andrew, like pass interference towards the end, like three of them in that last drive or next to last drive against Cincinnati. Well, that's part of my question with Donald when you talk about how he's a lock. like you think the QBs are the best bet. There's probably going to be some pass interference yards,

which is always weird for these MVP things. Right. I'm just telling you now, like Carlton Davis is going to get a pass interference in this game. It's like they, I don't know if you can bet on it on Fandall, but I would bet on that. It'll be a roller coaster ride this whole game.

He's top four in drawing pass interference calls and the receivers in the league. Right. So he gets a 35 yard pass interference. It counts for nobody. It counts for neither Darnold or. That's true. JSN on that one.

And then the only other one, it's like if it's a Seattle defense goes nuts game, that's probably Lawrence at that point. Yeah, he's, right? A hundred. Yeah. Speaking of that, I mean,

I'm sure everybody has this, but him for the one sack at plus 22, 122, I think that's a putting bold. That's moved around a lot already. It's dropped from like plus 145, plus 1 20 range, right? Yeah. I don't know.

So what are we going to do? We're going to take like six of these? I think the best bet is J.S.N. But I also like the Marcus Jones one. I think those are my two favorites. All right. I'm going to urge. Do you like Ramandre at 31 or no? Yeah. I mean, I like, I get it. That that's the kind of game would have to be.

I think your guys passing would have to be short passes the whole time. They wouldn't be able to put up big numbers. But I don't know if you can win a game like that. I'm urging people to bet $2.6 million to win $1 million on a quarterback to win this MVP. So if the Patriots win, I think May is going to be the MVP because that would mean he played well and he carried them for some reason. If Seattle wins, I don't think that means Darnold is the MVP. That's true. I think you can, to me, that would be 50-50 at that point.

Like in the NFC title game, he definitely would have won MVP, even though JSN was awesome in that game. Arnold was like 350 and didn't have a pick. But if you see a Kenneth Walker rushing touchdown, then you see a JSN receiving touchdown, then the needle moves to Darnold, right? Because it's not one player dominating. So usually the quarterback. All right, touchdown stuff.

Your favorite touchdown, you can go anytime touchdown, multiple touchdowns, first touchdown. What was your single favorite one? Let me see, hold on. I got to find it. Cardi B. I got all the stuff. All right.

All right. Well, first of all, under one and a half yards, shortest touchdown. Minus 138, little juicy there. It's a brother Bryce special. It's hit five of the last six. It's hit 22 of the last 32. It really should be about minus 180, 185, but it's minus 138. You talked about it.

P.I. calls in the end zone, puts the ball right at the one. We see it all the time. We saw it a bunch of times what hurts, obviously, but under one and a half. I like Cup to score the first touch and out plus $1,300 and to score at plus $2.60. I'll find some more.

Go ahead. What do you have? Cut $1,300 for first? Yeah. And then what was the other one? Plus $2.60 that he scores anytime. All right.

This is my favorite. This might be my single favorite bet. Barner to get a touchdown. Ooh. Is plus 1230. I think that's what it is, but he's 12 to 1. Oh, plus 230, sorry. Is that what it is now?

Just any touchdown, anytime? Anytime touchdown is what? Is it plus 230 or no, that's going to be higher than that? I think I had a typo. I'm sorry, America. Plus 230. Anytime plus 230, yeah. Yeah, plus 230.

First touchdown is 12 to 1. Two touchdowns is 20 to 1. Here's the case for Barner. not only I see their tight end, so he might be able to get like the first and goal from the five touchdown. He's now their, their push short yardage guy because Charbonnet got hurt. And that's a recent development.

So any fourth and one, he's coming in or any first down and goal from the one. Like you talk about the brother Bryce special, Barner is going to be in the game. Right. Anything one yard and in, he's in. And at the plus 230, I think, I think that's amazing value.

I kind of can't believe it's not higher, because I could also get a pass with him too. Right. But I like the 20 to 1 too for two TDs. All right. I'm writing that down. I don't necessarily like him for MVP because I don't think he'll have enough catches because he's usually like a two for 15, three for 20 guy.

But he might catch a five-yard touchdown and run for another one and then run for another first down. Any fourth and one, third and one, goal line and one, he's going to be with the ball. That's their push guy. I don't, but can we talk about how ridiculous plus 230 is for any time touchdown, Barner, when there's JSN, there's Diggs, there's the quarterbacks who can run it in, there's, you know, there's this Kenneth Walker, like, come on, we can move these up to more than plus 230. Well, so Drake's plus 290, JSN's minus 110.

This is for any time. Marcus Jones is 22 to 1 for a TD. I just want to bring him up again. The New England defense is plus 850. The New England defense is 40 to 1 for the first TD. Wow. And I bring that up for this reason, because. God.

Who led the league in turnovers this year? Seahawks, right? What quarterback? Oh, Donald had 14 interceptions. Did he also fumble combined? Sam Donald had 20 turnovers this year. He had the most turnovers in the league. The number two guy was Gino Smith at 18,

and the number three guy was two at Tagliobola at, and I think 15. Sam Donald had the most turnovers in the league. I know. In the league. And up until week 18, San Francisco, everybody's like, I don't know. The San Francisco is one and a half point favorites on the road,

missing half their team. We were like, I don't know, Sam Darnold gets to the playoffs. I don't know. Looked really good against the Rams. Sam Darnold, I trust him completely. Are you sure? We've seen him flame out in these games.

No, I think he throws one for sure. What do we talk about? Plus 200 for both to throw one up? It's a long game. I agree. Right. So a pick six basically, New England D could also be a fumble recovery or strip sack plus 850. But that first touchdown, 40 to 1.

That's fun. That's a fun one. I had a combination here. Diggs and Walker first touchdown because there's like a million combinations offered on Fandle. But if you like the idea that Diggs is going to score and KW3. See, I feel like you did this. couple years ago. It didn't work? It seemed great on paper and then it didn't work. Are you saying I offered a Super Bowl prop and it didn't come to fruition?

No, I mean, there was a year. There was a year where you were like, these are great. You get this guy or this guy? I know, but this guy or this guy gives you a couple of then, you know, if you have digs first touchdown in Seattle's at the eight yard line, you're kind of screwed, right? Like you just, yeah. And then Tonga gets the first touchdown. Diggs or Walker first touchdown plus 260. I don't, fine. I'm just saying there are a lot of fun combinations out there. So what was your favorite combination? Diggs Walker. Your boy, Stefan, it's plus 260

that either one of those is the first touch. I have my favorite long shot for this. If this is your Gary Russell bet, I apologize in advance. Don't do it. It won't be.

Does your Gary does your Gary Russell bet is it the last name begins with a T? No. Okay. Tonga for a touchdown is 75 to 1. This is something the Patriots have been doing last few games. They bring in this huge defensive tackle they have.

And in the last game, they brought in him and Milton Williams together, which was nuts. They've been bringing in Tonga. Patriots coach Mike Brable, famously used by Belichick to be a blocking back or like a tight end person, but then would catch more.

balls. And I think there's some crazy stat. Like he has more touchdown catches than there. It's like five Hall of Famers who played in Super Bowls. Right. And I wonder if there's some Brable symmetry with him getting some non-receiver, non-running back, non-trient, like Tonga. Just ran.

Oh my God, Tonga! It's the first touchdown of his career. I like that. I flagged linemen scores a touchdown at plus 1100. Obviously not as good as 75 to 1. But you got the- That covers everybody on both teams. Both teams, Vrabel's devious nature.

You got Seattle at the one yard line. Maybe they want to put the whole Malcolm Butler thing, the rest. Like here's an F. Barner. That's Barner throwing too. Exactly. Number 64. Someone's 60 pounds heavier than Barner, whoever it is.

Yeah. Plus 1100. Not bad. I just, I really feel like Vrable is going to pass it on. Yeah. If he has the chance to pass it on to somebody. Also, this is McDaniel and they do weird shit when they're close to the goal line in big games. I'm going to write down. He's done this this whole life.

Tongue's $5.00. The Drake, his odds were plus $2.90. He's 30 to 1 for two touchdowns. And when you see them around the goal line, like they did the Josh Allen quarterback draw play for him. Yeah. But if he's not healthy, who knows? For the playoffs, he's 24 for 141 rushing with a TD. and then the JSN bet, so him being minus 110,

he's 12 touchdowns in 19 games. Out of those 12 touchdowns, only two of them were two touchdown games. Right. So he's scored in 10 of the 19 games. I don't think the minus 110 are good enough. No, that's the dirty little secret. None of these are good enough, really.

But it's fun to bet two or more. That's a good one. That's because if they play 75 times, you might score. But yeah, the two pluses are fun. But how many touchdowns are expected in this game? Five.

I don't know. Depends if the, if the, I think it's five. I thought, is five and a half? Is that what the numbers? On Sunday night,

I was like, this is going to be like a 30, 27. I think we can move the ball on their defense. And now that Drake's not as healthy, I wonder, is this going to be a chew-up-the-clock when you have the ball kind of game?

I would like to get a separate box of the Fandle CEO and everybody watching us, discuss this and they're like, these idiots just named 35 players to score a touchdown when there's only five and a half touchdowns expected in this game. You think that's going on behind our back? Probably. I think they're probably laughing and being like these guys, this is great.

Every year. Their bets are terrible. Speaking of Fando, Super Bowl LX, are you calling it 60 or LX? I got to go 60. 60's upon us. Unfortunately, that means it's the last call for football. how you feeling? I'm not feeling that great.

I know you set the stage nicely with the Saturday before, but I don't know how we're going to get through this. I really don't. Well, we're doing all of our props. We're doing all of our predictions all week long. But Fandole has a $6 million. Yeah. TD jackpot.

Oh. Place any anytime TD bet on the Super Bowl. The jackpot token applied. And if the select player scores the first three or the last three, not only do you win your bet, get to split the prize pool with the others who selected the same TD score. If you take Tonga, that means who are you splitting it with?

Well, now it's going to be a bunch of people. So we can go first or last TD. We want to go first. I like Barner at 12 to 1 for the first TD, but I'm going to be outruled by you. What's your favorite? No, if you like that, that's fine. And I think you've got to go big numbers here

because, like I said, those first four or five or not worth it at plus 140 and 2.30 and all those. So I would say Cooper Cup, but Barner is a good, you stayed your case. I like it. It's fine. Barner,

I can get the first and goal from the one following the pass interference. Yep. Little push push thing. Or maybe they try to run in, they couldn't get it. Now it's third and one and they bring them in. How excited will you be?

Yeah. I wouldn't be excited at all. You'd be so pumped. You'll be like, yeah, Barner. We're down 10-0. I'm just going to be silently by myself. Just freaking out. That's our pick for the jackpot.

Listen to Bill Simmons podcast all week and the ringer gambling show. And continue to place your bets on Fandall's sports book. For the big game, Fandual, play your game. Okay. Adobe Acrobat Studio, your new foundation. Use PDF spaces to generate a presentation. Grab your docs, your permits, your moves. AI levels of your pitch gets it in a groove.

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pharmacist at this product's rate for you. Always read and follow the label. rushing stuff. Drake May,

under 36 and a half or over. Boy, this moves around so much. Didn't it already move four yards? 40 plus yards is now plus 108.

50 plus yards is plus 200. And 60 is plus 350. If I knew he was 100 percent, I would be banging the 50 plus

for two to one. And if it turns out on Wednesday, Thursday, he's cleared, he's 100% 50 plus, because I think he's, we've seen it. He needs to use his legs to help them move the ball. So you think if he's not 100%, he'd take off more? There'd be more design quarterback runs. But you're going to get a hit, though. Yeah, maybe he doesn't take the in bounds and everything. Maybe it's a little more sliding. Maybe he finds a sideline more, but maybe a couple more. I don't like tentative Drake, Drake, man. Okay. And we mentioned the Treveon stuff. Yeah.

70 plus 14 to 1, 80 plus 25 to 1. What was your favorite? Well, I like the travion to most rushing yards, although you crushed that with the 80 plus, it gets 25 to 1. How about this? Any player rushes for 205 plus, which would be a Super Bowl record,

which, by the way, is held by Timmy Smith, who did this, Washington against Denver. Is this an unbreakable record? This is a 38-year-old record. He did it in 22 carries. I feel like at 100 to 1, you have a couple with great breakaway speed and ability with Kenneth Walker and Trayvion Henderson

as we met like 100 to 1, 205. Is this just, oh, this never going to get beaten? The problem, I was looking at Walker. I actually like the under for him at 73.5 just because the Pat's run day has been so good. The problem with Walker is he's been a 15 to 19 carry guy like his whole career. He's not like a workhorse running back.

He's not like a hit. huge guy. He's had a bunch of injuries over the years. And even in that last game, they were pretty careful. Like they brought in the backup. They had wide receivers in the backfield a couple times. They used Barner.

I don't think he'll get to 20 carries, do you? Unless they're just saving it. I don't want to compare him to Barry Sanders, but you're like, oh, he's going to be bottled up after three. It's like, it really is just the explosive play potential. Right. I don't think he's going to do it with six yards of carry. 35 carries. That's not how he would get this.

But, and then you're a guy too. I mean, these guys, you don't see this where these guys have gigantic, what you say, 69 and 65 yards. That would help. That would help to get the 205. You almost need to get two of them. Yeah. 1001 is interesting. That would be Walker just absolutely murdering us. Yeah.

So this is for the Drake May. Oh, I'll do the Seattle quickly. I thought the under 73 and a half for Walker, under for the, the backup, Polani. Mm-hmm. This one was interesting. JSN, 0.5 rushing yards is the over under. I was like, wow, that's low.

They'll just do a sweep of them. I looked it up. He said four rushes in September. They don't use them that way at all because they need them so badly for the past stuff, but they don't run like in the beginning of the Seattle, Denver game that I was watching. They got the safety. They ran that quick sweet play with Percy Harvin that always seemed unstoppable when he's, in motion, full speed, and they just hand it off.

Right. And you would think they would do that with JSN, but they don't. They run that point for Shaheed. Mm-hmm. So I actually like the under for that. What was Shaheed? Sheed. Well, Shaheed, that's a popular one.

And everyone got killed on that last week. Right, right, right. But they tried it. They ran the one sweep of them. I mean, look, like we said, this is not where you don't keep the trick plays in the bag, you know. No. Well, yeah, you're right. If you're going to run JSN, this is the week because you're not doing it.

You're zagging. But the ones I really like, I like these Ramandre odds. His over is 49 and a half. And you look at like, so these are like since the Buffalo game that they lost, he was six for 50, eight for 51 against Baltimore, eight for 47 against the Jets, they took him out, against Miami, seven for 131 took him out, Chargers, playoffs, 10 for 53, Houston, 16 for 70,

and then Denver, 25 for 71. especially if Drake's not 100% healthy, they're going to be trying to run the ball. And the other one I really like, 20 plus first quarter rushing yards is plus 174. The pats always start out slow. They try to establish, you know, try to keep the ball, move the chains,

get some first downs. 20 plus sounds great. Yeah. Plus 174? The tough thing with the first quarter is you don't know if you're getting the ball, right? Everyone's very conservative, which lines towards your bet winning, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So, and I have some props, receiving props that go along with that. But yeah, how many drives you need for that? You need two or one? I need two and maybe even one if he busts like a 13-yard, which he's prone to do. The other one I like for him was five plus rushing yards each quarter plus 240. Just five.

Yeah, that's a good. Second quarter would be the hard one because you have like the, there's a two-minute drill potential, and then fourth quarter, same thing. Look, you're stuck with this whole, this Rabel thing. And he's like now copying like Belichick. How frustrating it was, was it for gamblers to, worked out Super Bowl-wise for you guys. But you didn't know the snap count for your running backs ever.

Like, that was a secret. Ramandre snap count was split with Henderson, like week 17 and 18, as late as that. Then it was like 94% to 6% in favor of Ramondre Stevenson, which is crazy. So the Patriots fans still talking about that kick return in the preseason. Give Trevor on some love here. Even somebody like Bobo, I was looking up that.

Yeah. I was looking up Seahawks snap counts. It's like Bobo played 19, 19 plays last week. What's sickos. Seahawks snap counts we're doing already. We have all this. God bless. All this shit now.

Yeah, so I like, I think out of all those, my favorite is probably just the over 49 and a half for him, straight up. But I like that 20 plus first quarter. Any other rushing ones from you? I had more, I have a bunch of receiving. Okay, let's go to receiving. Yeah.

Smith and Jigba, 90 plus is minus 128 for receiving. 100 plus is plus 116. 125 plus is plus 265. It's a lot. Well, if you like them to win MVP, you're going to like all those numbers, right? Right. At that point, just bet the MVP because you get better out. The question for me is, are the Pats going to do the thing where they try to actually take out Cup

and just hope JSN doesn't go nuts? Or do they try to take out JSN and steer everything in a cup and Barner and some of these other guys? I don't know what the strategy is going to be. Yeah, the old Pats would do to put the two guys on the one on the best and then the next best best on that. So that's interesting. Make Cooper Cup beat you. This is a big spread in terms of your best guy and their best guy. 93.5 for JSN and dig.

is 43 and a half. Like, have we seen a spread of 50 before and a while? No. I don't think so. But, yeah, I mean, I have a few here. Well, let's see. Do you want to go? Did you have any?

No, go. Let me hear him. All right. Henry, catch on the first drive plus 250. I don't have the data, but to me, and especially if there's shoulder issues, this is good. Get rid of the butterfly's first path. That short one.

Tight end settles in the first level, four yards over the middle. I would bet A.J. Barner at similar odds, right? Seattle 29th in the league against tight ends. So Hunter Henry props in general. There you go. So Hunter Henry, anytime touchdown is plus 2.30. But Hunter Henry, where the ball is tipped by six or more Seahawk defenders before he catches it is also plus two 30. So lucky. Stuck that in. I was looking at Ernest Jones for that too, because Drake's almost thrown picks to linebackers, I think, two straight weeks.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It's close. I mean, I got a bunch. Henry, over half a receiving yard first quarter, if you want to do that, same kind of thing, very conservative plan. Diggs, four plus receptions. They play zone most of the time, Seattle, and he's around five catches a game against teams that play zone.

He's like top 10, 11 receiver versus the zone. I would go with that. All right, you go. I catch my breath there. my favorite guy for this game for this category is Matt Collins who became a really, really essential important patriot who was on the field a lot because he's such a good blocker and became a trusted Drake guy and then got hurt and missed four games, came back last week. He's 30 plus yards is even, 40 plus receiving yards from his plus 188, 50 plus is plus 310,

70 plus 70 plus 750. Wow. Let me read you some of the big games he's been in this year in the second half of the year. Denver last week, two for 51. Baltimore, seven for 69. Buffalo, four for 41. Tampa, six for 106. Cleveland, seven for 89.

I think my favorite out of all of these is the 50 plus yards for him plus 310 is the one I would go with. Because I think he's going, if they fall behind, great for the bet. He usually has one big play if they're winning, so that's also good for that bet. Either way, in a weird way, I feel like he's kind of more reliable than Diggs. Diggs has been really hit or miss in these big games. He's been awesome, carried them in some games. Other games, like, you forget he's out there.

Yeah. And he doesn't play all the time either because they keep his snap count. Collins is going to be out there a lot. I do like Diggs to impregnate a cheerleader before halftime at 30 to 1. I knew that I was going. Male cheerleader 750 to 1. I don't know. He'll hit four kids this year.

It's fine. Oh, that's it. All right. Your Mac Collins is my Kishan booty. Because I have him 90 plus yards at plus 880. And it's kind of the same reasoning as the Trevion Henderson thing, right? Like he bust big plays. He has longs of 39 twice.

He has a long of 42, a long of 32, which puts him right in the mix. And if they do focus on digs. So you have 90 plus yards for him? 90 plus is. plus 880. Most receiving yards is plus 1,300. Same rationale as Trey Henderson. Most receiving yards in the game?

In the game. Yeah, I know it's asking. Wow. J.S. Yeah, that would almost have to be an injury. Yeah. I think the cup odds were interesting just because if they do the thing

where they try to take out JSN, cups over is 32 and a half, 40 plus yards plus 136, 50 plus 225. He has to be out there a lot because he's such a good blocker. Yeah. And, you know, it's trying to win a Super Bowl after the Rams gave him up.

I'm sure that would be a huge story this week, how hurdy was, that the Rams kind of cast him aside. If you're a Cooper Cup, do you let loose that you might retire after this game? Then you get some MVP love and all that. I would just do that every year. Yeah, once you're over 30 is a football purchase. We should say that for this prop thing. This is probably it, guys, we're going to retire after year 19.

This is it. I should start that. Yeah. This could be it. This might be the last time you get to enjoy us. Never know. So your favorite at all these is what? My personal favorite is 50 plus Matt Collins plus 310.

Your favorite is. I'm going to go booty 90 plus at plus 880. That would be my favorite. Yeah. But there's a couple Seattle guys too. Like Halani over 9.5 receiving caught 27 last week for, you know, back fields all thinned out. Plus running backs, I think, account for 25% of New England's allowed receptions,

which is the third highest, you know. Everyone's got Kenneth Walker over 20 and a half, so I don't love that as much, but he did have 78 in two playoff games. He did it five times before that. That's about it. I do feel good about our defensive line against, like, putting real pressure on Darnels.

I think they kind of lucked out with who they played the last few weeks. And I thought the Rams defensive line was disappointing last week. But no Charbonnet, who is their big pass pro guy. Right. The fact that this guy Holani has to probably actually be out there, at least, what, 25% of the snaps. So that might help your catch bet, if he's a better blocker.

Defensive stuff really quickly. I mentioned Lawrence was plus 122 for a sack. Lawrence having a sack in each half was 10 to 1. He only has six sacks on the air, so it's not as enticing as it looks. Interceptions other than the Marcus Jones won. Woodson on the Pats, rookie safety, 24 years old.

He's 9 to 1 for a pick. I think he's been playing really well the last few weeks, and he's always around the ball, and he's either had a pick or dropped a pick. Right. I'm telling you, his hands are on the ball. That one jumped out to me, and then Ernest Jones mentioned him earlier, 11-1,

on that little seven-yard or over the middle that either gets tipped or Drake doesn't see the guy. Right. I thought those were my two favorite interception ones. I think we load up on this category, because this could be a sloppy game. We sort of like both players, to throw an interception, maybe even more than that.

So let's just take the best there is. Like, let's take Christian Gonzalez at plus $6.50. Red hot, had one against the Broncos. You know, if you think Darnold with 14 on the year is going to throw one, you might as well cover your bet with the... And six fumbles. Yeah. He's dying.

He's dying to give us the ball. There you go. And so I like them. I like Aminiori on the other side for Seattle to take one. I think there could be like a safety blitz. Again, like they're not going to leave anything, you know, left unfold. I feel like I know he's against tight ends. He's not the best, but, you know,

May already took 15 sacks. So if you can get plus 650, 640 for M in York, that's a sack, actually. That's not for an interception. I like all the sack bets for Seattle, for the odds of them, just based on the fact that the Patriots have been giving up sacks entire playoffs.

Yeah. Even though Seattle had one, they're basically one sack of wheat the last couple weeks, but maybe this is the week they break out. some random stuff before we get to your really goofy stuff. No touchdown in the game is 175 to 1. Double overtime is 100 to 1 on Fandle. Wow.

A correct score repeat of the Malcolm Butler game, Patriots 28. Saw that. Seattle 24 is 350 to 1. And then National Anthem, National Anthem as of right now, 119.5 seconds. Yeah. Minus 1.10. Okay.

Take us through some of the wacky ones. Well, let me just read a couple more that before we get to the pregame and everything else. I'm picking the game right now. I'm going to say 3320 Seahawks at 250 to 1. That Patriot scored 20 points is 10 to 1. 21 is 19 to 1. I know you hate that.

Minus 500 that Chris Collinsworth calls the Seahawks blow out when a good old fashion ash kicking. So that's going to happen. Ash kicking. I don't know if he's heard. I've heard him say that before. So he, he doesn't have to kick some ass.

Bill, come on. I'm sorry. All guys guys are getting ash, right? Mike, you know, these guys are getting ash on the side, you know.

This seemed mean, but Fandle put it up. Seattle who attempt to pass at the one is plus 650. That's a Malcolm Butler, you know, a nod. Like,

I feel like this, If you're Pete Carroll, do you bet this as an emotional edge? I just poor. Pete Carroll can't watch. He can't watch this. It's awful. Like he's three and four, he takes his team to three and 14.

He watches Gino Smith get ruined. He's 74 years old. That's your miserable swan song in the NFL. He's fired in disgrace. He wants to be left alone. Here's two more weeks of the Malcolm Butler play, followed by an uninspiring Raiders hire, which is going to further remind you of,

Concubiak already is the job, apparently. That's right. I think that's it. Did that go, did that bust a break already? Would you hire the, would you hire a guy before you made sure he was good in the Super Bowl? You know, that's not worked before, right?

What was it? Was it the Philly one that gave up a million times? To be aggressive in the Super Bowl or less nervous? Yeah. I mean, Donald's going to throw eight interceptions now because of this. Team the score three times in a row. I'm not doing you any favors with the VIG.

Minus 166. The Eagle scored six times in a row last year. The year before the Chief scored three in a row, The Bengals did it in the Super Bowl out here with So 5. This happened at four of the last six, 16 and 10. So you basically need like the last two of the second quarter and then you also have the ball in the third quarter. Maybe a field goal on there kind of thing. I think this should be minus 220 or minus 230.

Let me see. Sorry. Did we mention the kicker props about like total number of points scored by the kickers? I always thought that was a good one. Oh, yeah. What was it? 10. Well, Seattle's kicker to have 10 points or more.

I thought there was good juice on that. I like that. Did you have Thai Patriots last week for Denver, the Denver game? Didn't you at House have that? 16 to 1. We didn't actually bet it in real life. You didn't make a big enough deal out of that. Yeah, it's also 16 to 1 if you like the Seahawks and a lot more if you want the Patriots.

What is it for the Patriots? I didn't look because they're not going to win. I didn't feel it mattered. But I will say, Pat's sick. Pat's over nine and a half second half is minus 128. Don't you like that a little bit? In almost any case, like they're a second half team. Even if they have to come back, that's especially good.

Yeah, always second and third quarter quarter. Yeah. But a quarterback's shoulder might not work. I'm positive. I'm ready for the, I'm ready for the nonsenseical stuff, the novelty props. Okay, go. Well, you said 119. This is Charlie Puth singing, right?

I think he's friends with our buddy Daniel, so it'd be nice if we could find out what that is. But this has gone under in three of the last four. Three of the last seven, though, have come within seconds of this. And there's no evidence of, you know, usually he could go to YouTube, seeing him. He played this on the piano in a minute and 13 seconds,

but that's a bad indicator. So what I would rather do is, last brave, home of the brave, that's held over under three and a half seconds. I'm going over. this is your time to show off, Charlie Puth, right? And I think, you know, it's tough because they'll say brave, and then the director almost always cuts to the fighter jets.

And so you don't really know when the brave ends. And you end up arguing with a guy from Antigua on the phone calling you, Mr. Saul, trying to get your money back. But those are the old days. This is Fandall. They're going to pay up over three and a half. So there you go. Yeah, that is, there was one time,

I can't remember we were watching together. and we had no idea when the song actually ended because they cut to the fly away. And we're like, what happened? Was there an extra second in there? They're too loud, these fighter jets. Is there any way we can get inside information from PR agent of the stars, Lewis K? That would be nice. I mean, he steered us right or wrong with this before?

Steered us right twice. He did. Okay. He's freaking out. He did. And then he got really upset that we talked about on a podcast. So we said we wouldn't do that again. We'll never do that again.

But Lewis, come on. Except for the two times he gave us winners. Yeah. Does he represent Charlie Poo? He should just for this. You can lose him as a client after the game. Will a player or coach cry during the anthem? Saw this.

I say no, plus 184. I think it's worth it. You need to see a visible tear running down the cheek. That's how it's explained on Fandle. That's a pretty big threshold. What do you think? It's a tough one. I think in the social media era,

you're going to fight off the tears more than you would in like 1990. Right. you cry and it's just the moment comes and goes. Now, if you cry, you're a meme for the next two days, potentially, especially if your team loses. I think you fight the tears off. I'm going, no. Yeah, yeah, I'm the same way.

Like, the one they go to was the Sariani, like crying like a 12-year-old at a Taylor Swift concert. But I don't think we see that again. I don't think, you know. Yeah, Syrian can't really be compared to other humans. Right, right. Just in general. No. Coin toss, tails, heads minus 104.

see if you could find a better Vig than that. The winner of the coin toss, this was interesting, is 25 and 34 in the Super Bowl only. So if you're smart, you'll try to lose the coin toss. Tails is 3128. Tails is won two of the last three years, eight at the last 12. The last time the Super Bowl was in Santa Clara,

it came up tails. I'm going with tails. I wouldn't say it's never fails, but I think it's the pick. What do you got? You have to be on record. What are you saying? This is where you and I,

Both of them love gambling. This is where we break. This is where I wait goodbye. I can't bet the coin toss. I just can't. And I don't care about the history of it. It's just, I did.

I've lost it. It's just like you might as well. You have to lose $1,000 before the game even starts to consider yourself a traditional. I was more excited. There were bets about, at least on Fandole Canada. They were bets on temperature of the game. And it had these five degree radiuses, but it was all in Celsius.

And even though I graduated with a master's degree, I couldn't understand the Celsius. I did the conversion. So it's between 16 to 20 degrees Celsius is minus 125. That's 61 to 68 degrees Fahrenheit. I think it's going to be lower. I think we're going to be in the high 50s. Oh, really? Oh, I think that's a good range.

I don't know. I think you get plus 1.40 for the lower. I mean, that would be amazing for the Patriots. Drake May hasn't played a game in normal weather since like mid-November. Can you tease that to 74 degrees plus 10 and a half? I wonder. Can we tease the Patriots with the degrees? Tease it down to over 51 degrees.

There is a weird one. How do they know what the weather is a week from now? I know. I've never understood that. Well, that's a big range, though. They don't. They probably don't know. I mean, even last week they were saying how, yeah, there might be some flurries in the

second half. It was a fucking blizzard. I've been betting on the weather for a while. And it gives me an excuse to go outside. I do kind of like it. I do like betting on the weather. Did you know that Staples Professional can tailor a custom program to make running your business easy? With a Staples Professional account, you get one vendor, one delivery, and one invoice for all your must-haves.

From tech to cleaning supplies and dedicated support from Staples experts who guide you on everything, from product selection and ordering to payment. Join today at staplesprofessional.ca and get expert solutions tailored to your business. That was easy. There is a weird one that the coin is flipped and it gets lodged in JSN's throat, rendering him ineligible for the game. Pats gets so lucky. That's plus 250. Cardi B. How many times they show her? Odds are she's with Kraft.

I would think at this point. I don't know if they're going to go less craft camera time or that will be the same amount of camera time. I think they show her at least four times. Really? Oh, wow. Yeah. What is the other end of her? It's only one to half. Oh, over.

Over. Oh, okay. Oh, I'm going to hit that. She's, she's just saying on SNL. Yeah. She's huge right now. They'll show her. All right.

Does she wear a Stefan Diggs jersey? Yes is plus 170. Or does she have like an outfit change? It could be like a Chrome Hearts type of specially made Stefan Diggs jersey that has like stuff on it. I could see that. Okay. Yeah, I could see that. All right.

It's a bad luck though. Uh, no, I actually think she does wear it. You know, she's also like, minus 250 to appear with bad bunny. So that could happen too. You might see, she has two opportunities to wear the jersey. Gatorade, I know you don't love this.

Orange plus 230. No, I like this more than the coin toss. Okay. Orange plus 230, blue plus 250. Yellow, lime, green. You get all three for plus 260. Yellow green last year, one with the Eagles, plus 260.

Orange way too chalky at plus 230 for something that's happened once in eight years. But go ahead. What are you going to say? Does it have to be the Gatorade for both teams? Is it the same color on each sideline? I can't remember. Oh, I don't think so.

No, I think that was always a thing. Like, this team might go one way, this team, the other. Because if it's the Seahawks, they're going to go yellow, lime green, right? That goes with the jerseys. The Patriots, probably like a blue or a red. I've been wrong about all this almost every year, and I love it. I love going with it. But what about...

It's the last. out of the game. Like the game's over at that point. This is it. It's our farewell. Other than the guy crying on the podium. Well, I'll get to that in a second. But plus 1,100 for water slash clear. I like that. 17 years ago, water slash clear at a four-year run. So people are health conscious now. I kind of like that at plus 1100. That would be my pick. Is there a bet for the Pats winning and Brable doing the can you dig it on the podium? Because they've embraced this whole Warriors movie thing.

I haven't seen it. I don't know if you've been following this. Yeah, because they've been the road warriors. They're 9 and 0 in the road. This would be their 10th road win. And they're really pushing this road thing. Matt Collins came in last week. He was doing the bottles.

The only thing they haven't really done yet is the can you dig it, Cyrus's famous speech. Right. Okay. If that happens, put odds on me not doing the podcast. Because you're going to have to tag Joe House. And emotionally, I'm not going to be able to do it. Yeah, next week, no matter who wins, we're not going live until after the post. Because I actually like some of the podium.

Yeah, after like the first two in the moccamount. That's fun. All right. So the very last thing to bet on is the MVP who he thanks, right? God is minus 290, teammates plus 210. And listen, let me just say something. I'm happy for everyone who thanks Jesus. It's great that faith is such a strong presence in their lives.

But if God is as great as everyone wants him or her to be, then they have to forgive you for not mentioning them first when you're handed the MVP. award. Your teammates, though, who risk their lives getting their heads bashed in for 21 weeks and are right there next to you may not be as forgiving if they're not mentioned. And you're standing right next to them. I would say plus 210 for teammates. Hopefully this sinks in. So it's teammates plus 210. God is who is what? God is who is a very tough question. No, God. What are the odds on God? Minus 290 for God. Anybody else in there? Coach. There is coach. Wait, hold on. Let me see if I can find it. Because Drake May is a wild card to thank his brothers first. It's very close to his brothers.

He's the youngest brother. God, religious figure minus 290. Teammates plus 210. Family plus 1260. That's who you like for Drake May. Fans 18 to 1. Drake would go teammates first. And I think Sam Donald would too, unless he uses the opportunity to tell the Vikings to fuck off, which I don't think he would do. Interesting. That's not in there. Nobody thanks to coach. That's the longest shot at 25 to 1. Even like, even Kraft would get 18 to 1. if that happened. Oh, our special guest is here for Parent Corner. Oh, he is. Jimmy Kimmel. Hey, Jim.

I know I was going to tell you to log in, but it worked. And we're live on Netflix, so we can't edit this. Hey. You know, I've been saying to Ted Sarandos, I said, would you please bring public access television to the platform? Oh, wow. And here we are. It's even worse.

In public access, you'd go to a place. You'd go to a studio. We're in 4K, baby. I'm yelling at the kids to be crying. Wait, Sal was just going through the props, and there's a Super Bowl. Is it the MVP? Yes, who are the MVP thanks first, Jimmy?

So on the podium, and you could go teammates, you can go God, you can go coach, you can go family and friends, whatever. think the MVP is going to be just to start with. The easiest is to either quarterback, both of them we think would go teammates first. Oh, you think so? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. God is the big favorite at minus 290. Yeah. God's always the big favorite, isn't he? I kind of had some control over this, too. I guess I would go with God. I'd have to go with God. Go ahead.

Go ahead. You throw God in a parlay? Can we put God in the same game parlay? By the way, I'm looking at this. God. Yeah. Bowen Yang. is 35 to 1.

I don't know why anyone would thank him. To be thanked. Yeah, I don't know why anyone would thank him, but he is. Here's one for you. What are the numbers as far as Will Aaron Rogers apologizing, apologize for suggesting that I was in the Epstein file. It's probably like 10 to 1. He hasn't apologized yet.

We're still waiting on that one. No, I'm waiting for that and his wife. Yeah. Listen, I don't want to put a pin in it, Jimmy, but there are still a million documents. out there. So you are not nearly in the clear. Maybe I'm in all million.

We don't know if you're clear yet. What was the other? So we had, how many times when they show Cardi B was another prop? Yeah. Because she's going to be there on behalf of Stefan Diggs. Yeah. And the over under is one and a half.

I want way over. I think they show her at least four times. Yeah. It's got to be over one and a half. It's got to be two times. At least two times. At least once a half. It didn't count if she performs,

do they? Oh, man. Oh, that's interesting. That would be a, that would be, yeah, I don't, they, I think that should count. I think it's on the broadcast. I think it is. Yeah, that counts. If she's a cameo.

How do they keep this stuff so quiet as far as who's going to perform? I mean, there have to be a thousand people in that stadium rehearsing. Like, how did they keep this quiet? Well, that's why the couple of the years when our friend Louis K was working. Oh, yeah. And he was feeding us illegally. stuff that we can gamble on. And he got very upset that we talked about it on the podcast.

We told him not to it, that we wouldn't do that again. But I guess I'd just text them. He's usually so rah-rah about these things. Like, yeah, go ahead. Is he repping bad bunny now too? Well, that's what we wanted him to try to sign Charlie Puth before Sunday to see. Because then we would find out the national anthem is 119.5 seconds. Doesn't our friend Daniel know Charlie Puth?

I said that. I know. We get word to... He knows everybody. Yeah, he knows. Sal, the only bet, before we do a special Mega Edition of Parent Corner, the only bet you didn't do is the Gary Russell Memorial Prop.

Let's do it. So can we do that with Jimmy? Jimmy, you know the story. We did this bet. Can I set it up? I'll set it up. You do it. All right.

So Gary Russell, so every year I come on this podcast, the week before the Super Bowl, and try to pick an obscure player to do something positive, right? So it's usually like a backup title. end to catch a pass for a half a yard. And I've won with some no names like Henry Hanowski and Fossey Whitaker. I usually lose. But the first year we did this, actually, Jimmy, we watched the Super Bowl at your house. It was Pittsburgh versus Arizona. And it was 17 years ago tonight. It was February 1st, 2009. Wow. What an anniversary. Haven't seen it in newspapers or anything. Yeah.

Happy anniversary, Gary Russell. So I had Gary Russell to not score a touchdown minus 140. He was the backup running back, Steel was running back to Fast Willie Parker. His first carry inside the two, he lost four yards. I'm like, they can't go back to him. Well, they did. I was like, give it to Fast Willie. No, they gave it to Gary Russell touchdown. Yeah.

And as legend has it, we found out. It was an actual long email that we got, that I got. From a man, he says he and a woman were at a Super Bowl party. They didn't know each other. They noticed that the other was laughing after the Gary Russell touchdown. And they got to talking and they were fans of the podcast. I'm like, oh, is it because it's out? But yeah, yeah, yeah.

So anyway, they hook up. They end up getting married because of this prop. Yeah. So happy 17th anniversary or more likely, sorry about the divorce, right? Is that how it goes with this? Yeah. It's either a happy memory or a terrible memory for them. But it's one and the other.

Yeah. That's nice. So this prop led to a marriage. I'm trying to imagine a woman sitting through this show and listen to plus 165 plus 238. It's not adding up to me. I don't know what's going on there. Women are just taking shots at us. They love public access.

Women don't listen to us. We have Obama listening to this. Yeah. Our time. Barry O's listening us. That's true. Did I tell that story last time? You did.

You told the story. Yeah. He's probably not listening anymore. I was more excited about that than either one of you. I don't know what it was. It really was. I couldn't wait to get out of what we have. The proof.

Yeah. Probably. So, Sal, what do you have for a ad this year? Let me just say, it's been tougher and tougher to come up with these because we know all the backups. We know some of the third strings. But I think I came across a doozy, which is really going to turn some heads here. Here we go. Drum roll, please.

Cahall for my Gary Russell annual prop pick of the year. Here we go. Brady Russell, Seahawks, fullback to score a touchdown at 4th. 40 to 1 odds. Now, you might say, is he related to Gary Russell? He is not related to Gary Russell. He's wider than a sheet and he has long hair. But just the fact that his name is Brady Russell,

perhaps one and two in Boston Sports Legends, and the Patriots didn't sign this guy. Yeah. And at the University of Colorado, this is payback for Brady. How do the Patriots not sign a guy? He should be on the team. It's a great call. It's like Seattle having a guy named Marshawn Griffey Jr.

And the Patriots having it. Or New England having it. Yes, that's right. Plus his last name is Russell, tying back to the 17th anniversary of our guy Gary Russell. Right. No relation. Brady Russell. So I think Clint Kubiak, now the Raiders coach, or in eight days, whatever, switched him from tight end to fullback.

A couple issues, he only has one target this year and his hand is kind of injured, I think, from the one target. But I think he gets a hand off at the goal line. You don't want to go through any of that nonsense again like Pete Carroll did with the what, right? This guy gets the handoff. Brady Russell touchdown lives in infamy, 40 to one odds. Go get it. Put it in on Fando right now. I think Fandoz should promote this as a special bet.

You'll have Seahawks to win with Brady Russell. And that would be like, I don't know, 60 to 1 or something. I'd be curious to see what happens to the numbers now that you've mentioned it. I mean, you've got to get that bit in fast right now. That's how just changed the Brady Russell market. Yeah. Fandall is loving this, by the way. The only one making that bet.

That's great. It's all free money. There you go. Brady Russell, do it. We brought you on for Parent Corner. You came on at the start of the football season. And your son, your son, Billy, quite a character.

Yeah. He's still in his Apex Mountain for Parent Corner. This is the sweet spot when the kids are really the little boys between 8 and 10. I think that's... The funniest stage. Yeah, some people might say six to ten. But the second half of their first decade is when the comedy really comes on.

So we haven't seen you in a couple months. You're going to tell us some Billy's stories. Well, he's still very focused on his penis. You know, he's still all about the penis. And we showed the kids happy Gilmore, which they'd never seen before. Hey, it's one of those things like, should we show this to them?

She's just, you know, and I was like, you know, I'm going to show them. And now, you know, that montage where Happy Gilmore's got the, you know, gas pump between his legs, everything's a penis, you know. Yeah. Billy does that now all the time. It's anything cylindrical is a penis, you know, shopsticks, pool noodles, broomsticks, whatever,

hot dogs, carrots, he's got them all sticking out of his pants. And he walks around, he's really a lot like Sal. I mean, like, sometimes I just say to Molly, like, what, what happened? Did, was it, tell me the truth. something happened with Sal because he's much more like Sal as a child than he was like me and Sal is an inexplicable child

like I could never ever Simmons you don't need whatever you've seen from Sal multiply it by 40 to 1 by Brady Russell and that's what Sal was like when he was a kid but Billy's got this super weird thing and this is

it was a very Sal type of thing like he'll walk in the room and his penis is out like he's got to either like like kind of up over his the elastic of his pants or just flat out. And we'll see him. We'll go, all right, all right.

Put your penis away. And he's like, what do you mean? And it's like, come on, put your penis. Put your penis away. He's like, my penis isn't out. And then he, all right, that's funny. Put your penis away. He will keep it up until he is crying.

He will be like, why are you saying this? My penis isn't out. It's just, penis is out. It's there. penis theater. So he's praying at night. He's weirdly religious. Like I find on my YouTube subscription,

all these Jesus-like channels. Wow. What's going on? Yeah. He's praying at night. Did you tell him about the Super Bowl prop for minus 290 for God? You got to get him in on that. Who is Billy Frank first?

Yeah. He says, and I've written some of these things now, so I can remember it. He says, thank you God for my squiggly-wiggly and my two big ones. That's his balls. He has nicknames for it. He says he names his penis.

It changes every three days. Right now, it's Jiggly Birkenstock, Jake. Is his penis his name. Like it. We bought him a wetsuit so we could go in the ocean in the wintertime, and he just immediately peed in it, like immediately, before he even got him in the ocean. He folded his penis up, like, you know, kind of tucked fold type of situation,

and he walks in the room. me. And, you know, we're in there. My daughter's in there. He goes, Jane, you have a little sister. He also would really like my wife. He did the James Gubbitt Southern Labs. He really wants Molly to touch his penis. He wants, I mean, he's just constantly going, fight it, touch it. Mom, squish my pickle. And Molly doesn't, you know, she doesn't go over any of this stuff. And blamed me for her all that. That's good. Yeah. Game of Thrones. It might work. That's about it. He also will squeeze Molly's. butt and he does it to us too but molly the most he like it's like um like a stress ball for him or

something and um like before he leaves for school he um he'll double back and he'll squeeze her with with both hands and he says uh i gotta save that up for the whole day so now and i don't know if i told these guys about this but he's he walked we were in a hotel And he walked in on us. It's pitch black. It's late at night. And just in as we're about to make love. Oh.

Wow. I'm so glad that's still happening. Yeah. Yeah. When we weren't sure that we didn't know what he saw, because it hadn't happened yet, you know, but we weren't sure what he saw. And we were hoping that he wouldn't remember it in the morning.

Like he was kind of sleep walking or whatever because we wound up like walking him back to his bed. No chance. walking back to his bed. I had to flip the other way. But he didn't remember in the morning and we were relieved that he didn't remember. But then three days later, we're sitting at breakfast.

And he goes, his sister again, he goes, oh, Jane, I forgot to tell you something. And Molly and I immediately knew what he was going to tell her. And he starts telling her.

And we started, like, what? And Jane's like angry at us and mortified and immediately, you know, something is going on. And now he brings it up,

just like out of the blue. Once every, like, 11 or 12 days, he just brings it up. And he goes, and I know what you did. He'll say, when we told him we were hugging. I know what you did. And he doesn't believe. Oh, yeah.

He's like, he doesn't believe in it at all. And neither one of them believes us now. And he'll threaten to bring it up around other people. He's like, well, if you do that, I'm going to tell, you know, whatever like I'm going to tell grandma. You were like, don't you not talk about this? And then the other night he's got this stuffed animal and he's like, kind of like, he's laying down and he's got this stuffed animal like on top of him.

And he's just kind of like bouncing the animal up and down. And he says, this is what you did to dad tomorrow. He's terrorizing us with this. It's unbelievable. I saw when we came to your first show, you returned and Billy was there wreaking havoc for five minutes and I looked over at Sal and I've never seen Sal happier and more proud. It's the greatest. Like he watched a trained assassin, take assassin warfare to another level. He was so delighted. I had to explain to him like, when you

come to my work, it's not so you can scare people because it's like to do. It's just like hide in the closet and just jump out and scare people, everyone at work. And no one's used to this. And then no one could see anything because it's my idea. So it makes it extra horrible, you know? Yeah, they just have to do it. He was outside, just outside the house,

like right outside the house. And he's playing with Jane. And he says, I have to poop. And Jane said, poop in the bush. And next thing you know, he is pooping in the bush. Oh, my Lord. That was when our housekeeper decided to come up the stairs.

Oh, no. He's very particular about what he wears. We will lay out clothes for him every night so we can get going in the morning. Every morning he chooses an entirely different outfit. He dresses like a cat burglar. He's in all black. He's got a hoodie on.

He's like the burglar in the security company commercials. You know, that's what he looks like. He looks like he dresses like he's part of one of those roving gang Chilean gangs who break into celebrities home. He's got all black on and then he's got a gold chain, you know? And he loves

NBA stuff, you know, it's all LeBron and, you know, whatever he loves all. He likes messy too, even though we've never watched a moment of soccer on television, but he likes the merchandising part of it. Sometimes at night, we hear him talking and he's

talking to Alexa. He's got a little, one of those Alexa devices right next to his bedside and he asks Alexa, these are real questions that he has asked Alexa. First of all, he asks her about the weather like more than an 85-year-old man. Yeah, seven times a day. That sounds like your dad. Yeah, he asked Alexa. He said, Alexa, if it was negative zero outside and I was naked, how long could I survive?

There's a lot of questions about natural disasters, about tornadoes, if they ever come to California. When is an earthquake coming? Can I ask Alexa? Alexa, how big is your butt? You know, that kind of stuff? And then Alexa, it is funny listening. Alexa answer these questions.

Does Alexa upbraid him or get mad or does she try to answer? She says, I wish I can answer a question like that. But, you know, he gets into the whole routine. And he's crazy about the iPad. They both are nuts. Like, kids don't need any more toys. And there are no other toys necessary. It's just all in the iPad.

you know. It's so true. You don't need Legos, any of that stuff anymore. That error is gone. Molly's mother fainted and had to go to the hospital. And Molly was like, I'm going to, it was going to leave. She was going to go to the hospital. And the kids were upset.

And Billy was upset. And he said, do you think to help take our minds off it? We could have iPad time. Oh, my God. He's so smart. So, Sally, I don't know if I tell you this, but on New Year's Eve, we were, We were planning to go to Sal's house.

Sal usually has a party of the house, but like everyone else out of town and Sal wasn't planning to have a party, but we just assumed there was going to be one. So then Sal was like, yeah, you guys could come or. It's like, you know, we're all right.

We'll stay at home. So we're at home, and we decide that we're going to watch Happy Gilmore, too, the four of us, you know, in bed, New Year's Eve. And we are, you know, this was a bad year 2025. We're anxious to see it going.

And I don't know why I had it, my head that once it was over, it would like, then we'd have a good year. It's like a fresh start. Yeah. Yeah, but we're ready for it to be done. And I swear to God, this is exactly as it happened.

We watch the movie. We watch the 9 o'clock ball in New York. You know, we watch the ball come down. We're up a little while. Billy goes in the bathroom. We're in bed. And then Billy comes back into the room and he goes, there are worms in my poop.

and I say what? He's like, there are worms in my poop. You know, I don't know if he's joking or whatever. And I go in the bathroom and I look in the toilet. And sure enough, there are a whole bunch of white little worms, pinworms in, which I guess is a common thing, but none of my kids ever had this before. And that's how we rang in the new year. That's how we ended 2025.

See, I would count that toward 2025. It is, it is part of, Yeah, I think that's thrown in the 2025 pile. We made the mistake of thinking we're in the clear by 10 p.m. But it turned out we weren't. So yeah, you can really count 1201 as the official new start. So worms, how did you fix that? Was there like medication?

You have to drink this banana flavored poison and everyone in the house has to drink it. And you got to change all the sheets. And so I was, I don't know how I got this job. But every night for the next week, I, practically boiled the sheets on the sanitary setting on the thing and then had to change all three beds every night. You should have lied to him and said he got the worms because he pooped in the bush.

Oh, interesting. There was too much time between. And you know what? I wasn't thinking on my feet at the time. I was just like, I really just wanted to scream like, what is happening here? I remember our kids got lice and that seemed horrible, but the worms and the poop is like 20 times worse.

We've had lights too. Now I feel bad. If I had a New Year's party, we would have had the worms in my toilet. Right. And you would be washing your sheets. I know. Yeah. So we took the kids to their first Kings game, the hockey game.

Yeah. And they didn't really want to go. They didn't know what it was or, you know, weren't interested. But I knew they would like it. We had tickets. We had good tickets. They were right on the glass. And my daughter said, I don't want to see the players fight.

You know, she really don't want to see any. fighting. And of course, by the second period, the players were fighting and she's screaming, punch him in the face, punch him in the face. You get intoxicated immediately. Yeah, immediately. And then they put me on the Jumbotron and Billy was sitting next to me.

And so Billy, now this is, I don't know if you guys know about this, but little boys are, they instantly, I mean, like Billy, like you can't get him to talk to an adult, you know, like other than family members. You know, he barely, he's shocked. He won't. He's crazy when he's not around adults, but like he's, he's pretty shy in, in public. But man, when he would, that camera went on him and he was up on the Jumbotron.

He turned into Cardi B and Bad Bunny and Bruno Mars and Dancing Barry all combined. I mean, he's twerking. He's going crazy. He's doing the whole thing. The audience starts getting excited. And, and then Jane. There's something about that Jumbotron because they, The NBA League passed this year. When they go to commercial, they don't show ads. They just show the people in the stadium of the Jumbotron.

And they all do it. When they're on camera, they're like, it's like they lose their minds. It's one thing to be an adult and to do it. But when you, I mean, these kids come out of the womb knowing that when you're on the Jumbotron, it's right. Seven and up, you just have to start acting crazy. How worried are you at that point that he's going to pull out his penis on the Jumbotron? A little bit, but also hoping it happens.

you know. It's, I'm right in the, I'm sitting right in the middle, you know. Take more games. Jane was mad, though. Jane said, I'm sick of him getting all the perks. And then Molly said to Jane, she said one of the Kings players was cute. And Jane said, I'm not into adult men being cute, but you go wild. So she's in that stage now.

She's in that stage. I remember that one. Sal, I tease this for you this afternoon. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sal and I went to the, we should have tricked your father into going to that anti-ice march today.

I told him it was like a Dodgers parade or something like that because that would have been great. He would have been very honest. They're having a second Dodgers parade. Whatever the, whatever Billy's reaction was on the Jumbotron, that would have been very, very opposite for my father. Yeah.

I wonder how long have been taking them? to figure it out. So Jane, this is a question that Jane asked Molly, and Molly wrote it down. Jane said, and this is a very, I don't know what's going on if they're giving her gummies at school, but she said, Mom, have you ever thought that maybe everyone is a robot, were all robots except for three people? And Molly said, what, three people? And Jane said, Jackie Boo, which is our one-year-old nephew, Uncle Sal and Aunt Chippy.

obviously. Obviously. And Molly said, why are those three the only ones that aren't robots? And Jane said, because Jackie Boo is just a butterball and he's too round and cute. And no way any robot gambles as much as Sal and Chippy, it would explode a robot. All that smoke, Ant Chip from Ann Chippy would kill a robot. I love it. I love it. She even knows this. Yeah, we're all uncle and aunts.

All the, yeah. Oh, interesting. I know. It could be cousin. I know. Yeah. You know, this segment is limited, I think, because, you know, your kids are getting older.

Like, Bill's, your kids are adults and, um, Sal, you know, two years have a lot of trouble. Bill struggles. Yeah. We have 12-year-old still. Yeah. Bill. Parents are not going to live forever. I know.

Harrison's caring us. Parents and dogs. is Simmons go-to now. This segment is more endangered than late-night television. But I will leave you on my parents who drove me completely insane today. Oh, no.

Oh, nice. My mother. Every other day? I mean, just like, it's just like, well, listen, we marched in a line. We went from one end, one pier to the next pier and back. There was no chance of anyone getting lost, but they're just the phone call.

are you? What street? You know, it's like, just keep walking. Right. And then forgetting where my house is, you know, and it's like, just come to the house. I went to 35th Street. I'm like, there isn't a 35th Street. There's no way you went to 35th Street. And then I can't leave it alone, you know. Yeah. But the fight they had today, they had a really loud fight at the house. And the fight was about, so they went to a music recital for one of the children in our family. family. And apparently J-Lo's kid goes to this school. And J-Lo's kid was in the recital. And they were telling us how good the kid was. Kid was really good. Right. And then they were talking about the fact that they were interested in the fact that J-Lo has like a big SUV that picks her up. To them, this seems unusual, right? Right. And then they had a yelling fight about whether J-Low has,

Joe's car had a loud engine, or as my father said, the car behind that car had a loud engine. Right. And you were yelling at each other about, no, it was her car. No, it was, no, it was a car. It was a race car behind her. No, it was her. And they were fighting, Molly finally stopped. She goes, guys, I hate when you fight about Jalo's car.

Oh, no. You're only robots anyway. Leave it alone. You're not real. Yeah. Wow. That's great. That's great.

Wow. You want to do a quick one? Incredible. That was like seven parent corners. Yeah, I can't top that. That's good. You don't have a, there wasn't a sports thing this week. Save it for the Super Bowl, you know.

Yeah. I have to tell a quick story about my dad. Okay, good. You know, a massive blizzard of Boston. Massive. like shut down, you're not going to be able to get food anywhere,

like whatever you have, you got a stockpile. And my stepmother was out of town. So everyone snowed in for like two days. And my daughter is in college in Boston. So she goes to see my dad, like a day or so after the blizzard, opens his fridge,

and he has six venty ice coffees in there. And then all of this food from this place, Abe and Lewis. And so she's like, why do you have, I don't understand, why do you have six coffees? And he claimed he tried to offer, order one coffee

and didn't think he went through and did it six times. They brought him a whole bunch of coffees. We're not buying that. We think he stockpiled coffee because he didn't want to go get coffee every day and bought these six coffees with six muffins. But then had this Abe and Louis food, which he bought like two steaks and he bought like five children's pastas to survive him for the four days.

My daughter's in there like, what are all these? And he's like, I like their pasta, but they don't have adult pasta. I have kids pasta. So my dad was basically like the guy in lost. Who is the guy, Desmond, who's in the bottom, like has to survive for three months. I think that's what he thought the Blizzard was going to be. And he was going to survive on venty coffee, leftover steak and kids pasta for as long as it took. I would argue that what he claims he did is worse than what you think he actually did.

I mean, accidentally ordering the same thing six times in a row. That's a lot of times. Did it go through? Did it go through? Abe and Louis saved his life. That would mean six different delivery guys. Because you know how that works, right? That would mean he got six deliveries from six different people.

My daughter was like, she was trying to take a picture and he was stopping her. She thought it was just so funny, these six ice coffees next to each other. Like, what is the expression date on an ice coffee, too? Like, does the caffeine? Does it kind of die? Depends on the milk. Three storms. Anyway, thank God.

It's still freezing cold there, but I think he has two ice coffees left and one kid's pasta to survive. It's 12 degrees and he's drinking iced coffee. Yeah. He can't fight it. Anything to plug him? Oh, it's February sweeps month. Do we still have sweeps?

No. No, there's no sweeps. No, we have done. We really? We don't have sweeps? I don't think so. If so, nobody ever mentions. We have Don Lemon on tomorrow, though.

You know, he got arrested over the weekend. Really? So, yeah. Oh, that's a good one. He just got arrested again. You didn't see? I don't know. Oh, he did?

Yeah, he'll be out before the show, I think. All right. Thanks for joining. How many times he gets arrested, he'll be on the show tomorrow. Where are you guys watching the Super Bowl? You know, I, are you going to be together? I'm happy to, but I don't know, I'm not looking forward to doing like a giant Super Bowl thing.

I don't blame you. Well, the last time the Patriots and Seahawks played, we were at your house. Oh, that's right. Well, if you feel that... For the Malcolm Butler game. No, I'm going to be by myself. I don't want to be with anybody.

I feel like, where can I go? We go live like 20 minutes after the game. I can't go. Yeah, true. We're going live live right after. I live on 8th of a mile from you. I know, but you're not having a New Year's party or however that works. I don't know.

No, I have a year's part. You have worms in the toilet. Yeah, I don't want to be there. You just want to go to your house. Listen, you're welcome to car. I know my son Kevin's coming over and you're welcome to come over, but I'm not going to do a huge party, you know. All right.

You guys figure it out. And Bill, if you feel that it, you know. I'm not going anywhere. Okay. All right. Were you at my house the last time, right? I've had good luck when you've been in the room with me for a Super Bowl. Yeah.

But I'm not going to push it this time. Well, then I look good. Hey, listen. And we'll have a reason. All right. Thanks to cousin Jimmy. Thanks to Sal. Thanks to Gahow and Eduardo as well.

and Jack Wilson. That's it for us on Netflix. We're going to be back on Netflix after the Super Bowl podium next week. I hope I have a smile on my face. I'll have my podcast plus rewatchables tomorrow. We did Wild Things. Oh, I saw you talking about that.

Yeah, that's going to be. That was going to, might be the last rewatchables. We've been to push it too far. But that's coming tomorrow through that is on Netflix as well. Fellas, thanks for doing this. Thanks to everybody for watching. See you next week. Must be 21 plus in President Select States for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino

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