The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 1: Week 4 NFL w/ Cousin Sal

Episode Date: October 1, 2015

HBO's Bill Simmons makes his triumphant return to podcasting by breaking down the 2015 NFL season, discussing 16-0 possibilities for the Patriots and guessing Week 4 lines with Cousin Sal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The premiere episode of the Bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies has created the world's most comfortable underwear with a custom fabric that's twice as soft as cotton. All orders in the U.S. and Canada ship for free. If you don't love your first pair, they'll offer a full refund. Please go to MeUndies.com backslash BS to get 20% off your first order. My own URL. Thank you, MeUndies. Today's premiere episode is also brought to you

by Squarespace. Did you know Squarespace is the easiest way to create a beautiful website, blog, or online store? Do you like elegant interfaces, beautiful templates, and quality 24-7 customer support? Look no further than Squarespace. Try it at squarespace.com and enter offer code BS at checkout to get 10% off Squarespace. Build it beautiful. All right, welcome to Bill Simmons' podcast. Unbelievable. Cousin Sal is in the house.

Yes. We have been on ice. I have not been heard from for almost five months. I would call it a sabbatical. Is that being kind? I think that's being kind, yeah. We're back, man. I'm excited. We're back, man. I'm excited.

We're back. We missed three weeks. We've been guessing the lines every week since 2008? Yeah. 2007. I think so. 2007? Every week people heard us.

And then last year I got suspended for some unflattering comments about Roger Goodell by my old employer ESPN. We missed three weeks. We actually missed four. Then we came back triumphantly and now we had to miss more podcasts and now we're back. We're finally back. October 1st. America has a lot of questions. I don't know if I'm

going to answer all of them right now. I have a lot of thoughts about things but I don't think this is the time and place. Can we talk about football? I think we can talk about football. Whatever you want to do. Do you want to talk about the big bell bottom? What's that? In San Francisco? The bell bottom.

Yeah, let's talk about that. Is that a new sponsor? No, Berman was caught in the Niner Stadium. Oh, I see. The big bell bottom. You love this. The big bell. Oh, it's...

You get to tee off on Berman. Oh, my God. A lot of people are on the list. Let's list the things you get to do. What are you most excited to accomplish here? Oh my God. A lot of people are on the list. Let's list the things you get to do. What are you most excited to accomplish? I'm excited to poke fun at some of the ESPN on air talent. All right. Now I'm not, I'm, I'll laugh mostly, but I'm still kind of employed by them. I know. So just, so just nod and pretend you weren't, you weren't really complicit in the whole thing.

Let's talk about football. All right. Listen, I'm going to do plenty of podcasts, and we should mention I also have a new show coming on HBO next spring. HBO is going to be my new employer. I'm very excited to work with them. They've been great. A place that cares about creative people

and freedom of speech. I'm very excited about that. Two of my favorite things. It's going to be good. Creative freedom And freedom of speech What if they named Roger Goodell Vice President next year, what would you do?

Is he going to run with Trump? No, the Vice President of HBO That would suck Can we say that I was vindicated on all of the placate? You think you were? Am I officially vindicated? I thought you were joking about the whole thing.

You really are serious about it, huh? Which part? The whole thing, the defending Brady. No, I guess you are. Do you think Brady cheated? Be honest. Gun to your head. Do you think he cheated?

Here's what I think is the irony in this whole thing. That if Goodell wasn't as inept as you and the Pats fans claim he is, and he is, I think Brady would be in trouble right now. For what? I think they kind of had him dead to rights. I think they had him. They said he didn't know these clubhouse guys, and then they had 100 texts between them. Then he threw out his phone.

If they would have dug deeper, if the investigation wasn't half-assed, wasn't led by Roger Goodell, I don't think he's playing these first four games. That's the irony, I think. First of all, bite your tongue. Okay, I will. All right, let me ask you this. So would you agree that quarterback is the hardest position to play in all of sports?

Sure, yeah. Okay. So he's preparing to play the Colts and then the Super Bowl the next week. He's studying game plans. He's studying defenses. He's got to memorize, what, studying defenses. He's got to memorize what, 400 plays. He's got to know when he goes to the line, I see this, I'm doing this. All he's doing is thinking about football. So in his spare time, in his spare time, he's organizing a ball

deflation scheme with Murph and Sully, the two equipment manager guys who make $10 an hour. And then on top of it, they're only deflating the balls by 9%, 10%. Just enough. That makes sense to you. Honestly, that makes sense to you. He's like, no, no, no. The balls feel 10% heavier than they should. Can you take a little more?

There's no way this happened. It makes as much sense as the leader of the nfl conducting a witch hunt against the number one jersey sales guy the first three weeks of 2015 what it what's in it for the nfl if i turn it around on you to go after him like this all right so here's my counter to that so the nfl has screwed up multiple things over the last few years they've handled down the gate they handled terribly. They handled concussions terribly. Right.

Uh, the 18 game schedule they're trying to get through. Um, Ray Rice. Sure. Can we agree? They butchered Ray Rice. Adrian Peterson was butchered.

Yeah. Um, just the, the, the pattern of bad conduct and bad decision-making seems like it just continued with the flake gate. And I, I agree.

I actually agreed with the ESPN outside the lines theory that, uh, it was, it was payback for spy gate. I think that's true. Yeah. I think Goodell let them off the hook in 2007. They destroyed all these tapes to make it go away.

And then people around the league were like, wait a second. Why did you help them out like that? You're Kraft's boy. I think that was a big part of this. That he was like, you know, the perception of the league was Kraft was like the puppeteer. And Goodell was his puppet. And he's trying to prove, no, no, that's not true.

I'm my own man. Watch this. I'm going to go after Tom Brady. I know. First of all, how dare you go after tom brady he's been nothing but an ambassador for the national football league that's kind of what i'm saying it doesn't really make a lot of sense but and i will say this like i think you are vindicated on all counts except for in three years from now when we find out the equipment guys were paid off more than your hbo deal uh by the patriots to keep quiet then then we're going to have a problem. But you got what you wanted.

He's back. By the way, we're going to record an alternate podcast where Brady was suspended and Tony Romo never got hurt. So look for that, too. I have one more question. Yeah. So Brady goes into a federal court and testifies that he knew nothing about anything. Testifies under oath.

Yeah. So now if these ball boys come out after, and I checked with Michael McCann from Sports Illustrated, who's been excellent. If these ball boys come out, or the equipment managers, they come out after they sell some story to TMZ for two million. Here's the smoking gun. We did help Brady. He knew all along.

They could actually go back and Brady could get in real trouble for that. to TMZ for $2 million. Here's the smoking gun. We did help Brady. He knew all along. They could actually go back and Brady could get in real trouble for that. Yeah. So he went into a federal court. So basically, if your premise is that he actually did know

what was going on, so now he's risking going to jail over this, over just admitting like, yeah, we tinker with the balls a little bit. Yeah. That's one of the reasons

I don't think he did this. Right. And also like, all right, so what if he said hey guys i just like the balls a little lighter yeah you know like keep it on the low end or whatever because one of the things that came out in that with the jets thing was they had it to like 16 psi right and they never really measure it too heavy what the hell is going on he's yelling at them these guys are like oh my god tom brady yelled at us. We got to. Yeah. And that's kind of why they delayed this, right?

Because they never measured the balls. They don't even know what standard to hold it to. So if anything, now they're measuring at halftime. They have a number to go up against if they want to suspend him next year, I think, which is why it was kind of pushed, which is why they didn't push it. But doesn't it upset you that the Patriots didn't fight their fine? Their punishment?

Doesn't that make things look bad? I think Kraft, they had an understanding. You know, you let Brady off here. Let me pay. This will be payback for Spygate. And we'll make this go away. And then Godel double-crossed him. He obviously double-crossed him. Yeah, see, there's so much weird stuff with this. I don't know. I don't know.

You're guys playing. You have the best team in football again. I have some stats for you. Go ahead. Let's hear them. Hold on. I got to turn my iPad on. This is really high-tech stuff here. All right, so here's Brady.

Okay. Since halftime of the AFC title game. Right. All right, with the deflated balls that were allegedly helping him. Here's what he's done since. Second half of that game, 12 of 14, 131 yards, two touchdowns. Super Bowl, 37 for 50, 328, four touchdowns, two picks. Week one, 25 of 34, 288, four TDs.

Week two, 38 of 59, 466, three TDs. Last week, 33 of 42, 358, two TDs. Total. Total since halftime. 145 for 197. 73%. 1,571 yards, 15 TDs, and two picks in four games and a half. Yeah. No one could see this.

Thank God they were deflating the boss for him because that's the only way he could succeed. Give me a break. He's reading these stats. He's actually smiling ear to ear. I love it. He's still able to get the numbers out i love let me just say this tom brady is the greatest thank you whether you want to admit anybody he's the greatest we've seen in the last 25 years bill belichick probably the greatest coach and yet they they love to cheat they just love they have to cheat they have to it's in them they're gonna win anyway but they have to cheat and i'll say this brady's gonna with a with a pancake is gonna uh is gonna be able to uh i'm

sorry with a medicine ball is gonna be able to throw for great numbers he's gonna be the greatest but when you have these running backs who no one will ever hear from again in the middle of december and january these antoine smiths never fumble You'll never hear from these running backs again. And they never fumbled. That has more to do with it than anything. Well, Deion Lewis has fumbled like three times this year already. Yeah, I know. Because everyone's watching the balls now. It's not even cold.

I love that the pats are in everyone's head. Because when I was growing up, Red Auerbach Celtics were like this. And people thought the locker rooms were bugged. That's great. I'm glad the Colts were taking off their game. But you have to admit, though, this was a sting operation by the NFL when they did this. Like, let's say this is the NBA. And somebody beats the Cavs in round two.

And the team complained, the prize. They did something to the rims. Adam Silver wouldn't set up a sting operation to catch lebron in the next game he would go to the cavaliers and be like hey guys um this team complained about this and we're gonna i'm gonna send three guys and we're gonna check the rims like i really hope this isn't true cadel goes the other way it's like he's got people dressed up in all black with ski masks like trying to catch people right why i? I think there's pressure from the other owners who don't like the Patriots.

I think that's it. That's it. If it is, in fact, a sting operation, it's like, hey, we hate the Patriots for all these other reasons, which we're going to bring up. So just get them on this and we'll keep quiet for a while. And then, of course, it goes about it the wrong way and it all falls through.

Well, it's been great for the Pats. And I said this before the season i didn't have a podcast uh or a calm the schedule was really easy before the season and you look at it and you go wow if they get through that dallas game in week five after the bye then it's like colts there's no way they're losing the colts this year they're gonna score 70 in the colts denver was like the toughest game left right now denver looks pretty good i've been i i've been surprised by denver especially the defense but you know they they're going to be favored in every game the rest of the way except for uh the denver game so you're you're about to compare them to the 2017 you know they

could do this i think i think their schedule is really easy it reminds what was that one year where the colts just were in a bad division and all of a sudden they were like 14-0 and we were like wow really I don't know how they have an easy schedule it's a first place schedule but yeah it did work out for them who's your top three right now

I think it's Cardinals, Packers, Patriots and I think Cardinals huh yeah what's not to like about them you have Carson Palm that defense is good I think they have, huh? Yeah. What's not to like about them? You have Carson Palm. That defense is good. They have a return. I think they have 10 return touchdowns in the last 20 games. That's astounding.

It's every other game they have a return touchdown of some kind. And Carson Palm is one of the few quarterbacks that throws long anymore. You know? Like Brady doesn't. There's maybe three or four quarterbacks that throw down the field. That's Alex Smith's problem. Yeah. Throw the ball deep, Alex Smith.

Yeah. I love the Card, Alex Smith. Yeah. I love the Cardinals, too, and we've benefited financially from them. We did. A couple times this season already, including a Packers-Cardinals tease in week three that looked way too easy. Yes. Kept waiting for somebody to get injured or something to happen. I never sweated that in any.

All right. So, question before we get to the week four lines. Yeah. I think here's the top seven in some order. Tell me if you agree. Patriots, Cards, Packers, Broncos, Bengals, Seahawks, Falcons. Seahawks, huh? Well, I'm just saying if you're going to make your top seven, I think those are the seven.

Now, what's interesting is the drop off, like who's the eighth team? I might, for the time being, throw the Bills in. I was going to say, so you think the Bills, are the Bills the eighth best team? I think the Bills lost to the best team by far, the Patriots, and they hung in there. I think you were even surprised. I wasn't. I was scared of that game, but I was also insulted that the Pats were road underdogs when Brady's 23-3 against Buffalo.

And the 10 days to prepare for Tyrod Taylor, Taylor. I mean, they ended up hanging in there. But yeah, I would put the Bills in there, and I think we'll get a better sense this week. So you have a top eight then? Yeah. You'd put the Bills. All right, so that means your ninth team, ninth best team in the league,

would you pick the Steelers, the Panthers, the Cowboys, the Chiefs, the Vikings, the Colts, or the Jets. I mean, that's a motley crew. Yeah, that's not that great. That's for the ninth best team spot in the league. Feels very top-heavy this year, Sal. You know what top-heavy means. I hear you.

I'm not talking Christina Hendricks. Oh. I'm talking top-heavy. Remember 2004, that glorious year we had? Yes. When we just did three-teamers and two-teamers every week for like 14 weeks. And then Brady decided to shave points in the Miami game. Miami game, yeah.

And we finally lost a tease. He didn't really shave points, but it felt like a game. It was a Monday night game. Yeah. And we had won like 10 straight weeks of three-team teasers. And we were like, wow. It was like the people that stumbled onto some stock. Like, I figured I had a short stock, so I'm just rolling in money.

Just keep it quiet. This is never going to end. Yeah. Right. Maybe. I think so. Although I look at the lines every week and not counting teasers, I don't like any games this week.

I know. Just straight up. I just can't. I have to pick three for SportsCenter. Well, we should mention, we've done this for, we guess the lines every week. Right. I make my picks for the spread you make your picks for the spread yeah and we compete and every year i beat

you and we pretend that i don't but i think i've beaten you every year yeah we should have a oh yeah you do you do you beat the hell out i'm like the pats in the afc east yeah but um this year you've been a little friskier two to one you're you're beating me. Two to one, but I barely won. I feel like a house of cards right now. I'm like the Jets. I'm like the worst two in one ever. I feel like you have a better grip of the league right now. I think Vegas is on top of the lines more than they normally are.

I agree. Usually the lines are a little loose first three or four weeks, but they've caught it. And I think it's just like you said, because there are only five or six teams or seven that are going to make any noise, and they bulk up the lines for those. Let's talk about Cowboys really quick before we get to the lines.

So you lose Dez. What a roll of code. Like there's five different emotional swings already in three weeks. Right. Go ahead. Go over. Then you have Romo goes down. Yeah.

But we lose Dez, and we're losing the Giants game, and then we win in the last second. Right. That was awesome. Okay. But then we still lose Dez, and we're losing the Giants game, and then we win in the last second. Right. That was awesome. Okay, but then we still lost Dez. So then game two, we're up on the Eagles. That's nice. We lose Romo, but still win that game.

Like, all right, that sucks, but maybe we can go 5-5 when Romo comes back, and that could be enough to lead a division. You could do that. Then we're beating Atlanta by two touchdowns three times. It's 28-14. And then we just blow it. Defense falls apart. Well, here's what you have left. You're 2-1 at New Orleans.

Must win. I think you beat New Orleans, Mike. I just do. Is that Drew Brees, maybe? They don't know yet. We'll talk about that when we do the matchup. Then you get the Pats, bye week, at Giants, Seattle home, Philly home Sunday night,

at Tampa, at Miami. Romo probably comes back right around home for Carolina at Washington, somewhere in there. Is that after Thanksgiving? Yeah. And then you finish with at Green Bay, Jets on a Saturday at home, at Buffalo in Washington.

Romo may have to go 5-1 or 4-2 at least to win the division. Alright, I think you can win the Saints game. Yeah. I can't believe we're doing this already. You're in trouble. I know. We have to beat the Giants or Eagles. Can 9-7 win the NFC East?

I think 8-7 going into the last week possibly can do it. I mean, who's the better of the three? You could talk me into 8-8 winning that division. Why not? But like you said, the Giants are a couple plays away from being in a major driver's seat here. They could have been 3-0, and then they would have been the team. Unfortunately, their coach is 97 years old.

Yeah, that's right. Not good for him. They should wheel him out in a wheelchair for games, just to really emphasize how old he is. He is rough. Hey, I'm going to do a live read before we do the picks. Okay. The Guest Alliance. Sal, building a website can be pretty daunting.

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your first purchase Squarespace build it beautiful alright let's do the lines I like that yeah it's fun I like doing live reads makes me feel like a broadcaster

let's build a website and then do the lines yeah we can build one on Squarespace alright so here we go you're up two weeks to one let me just point out the favorites are 23 22 and one with two pick'ems what is it 23 22 and one very close and then there's two pick'ems and overs are 25 20 and three has anyone in the first three weeks really screwed up a tease just that one saints

when they're the saints tampa that was the only like tease breaker right right i think so yeah yeah that was it although no wait that no that's second week everybody lost in their suicide pools the second week right that's true in the zfl every single person who was who lost their team that was it and it was only four teams it did it was like the the colts over the jets i can't remember what other two yeah three teams all right so one more thing we should mention before we do the lines next week is the only other screwy week we have because of my schedule i have to go out of town for a couple days right so we're gonna try to do guess the lines either tuesday or wednesday okay next week but then after that we're gonna hopefully be on a monday schedule from that point on all right this thursday game

this is... First of all, we have two buys. Pats and Titans are off already. So it's a cheat-free week of football. It'll be good. This'll be nice. I'm going to get this for all year, right? Just this week.

Why do the Pats have to have a buy now? This is like such a juggernaut. And they're so healthy, it's stupid. I was on this Pats email thread with some of my Pats buddies this week that I almost wanted to destroy the thread because of the overconfidence. Really? And then somebody realized it. And then we talked about how our worst case scenario is every week, safeties dive at Gronkowski's

knees. Oh, yeah. And every Pats fan is just, when Gronkowski's in the open field, these safeties can't tackle him. No. And they run and they go at his knees and he always jumps just in time. like two years ago he did and he hurt his uh ankle right um but that's our fear with this season is just gronkowski running in the wilderness like a beautiful beautiful dog just looking for birds and then somebody some hunter comes in and just takes out a day

i could see that i could see that and then then we'll have to blame Roger Goodell for that. I'm happy to blame him for anything. Yeah. That'll be good. We have Thursday night, which would be tonight if you're listening the first time, Baltimore or Pittsburgh. So we have Michael Vick. Yeah.

And we have the 0-3 Ravens who really should have beaten Denver in week one. And that tight end got pass interferenced. That was bad. Twice. They didn't call it. Steve Smith dropped the ball, hit his face mask. Right. The Bengals, last week, that game was weird.

What was their week two loss? The Raiders, which... Oh, yeah, the Raiders. It was another one. Yeah, it was weird. So I don't know if the Ravens are good or if they're actually a 4-12 team and we're gonna go oh my god they were trying to tell us in the first three weeks I wouldn't say they're good I think they've given

up like 450 yards a game yeah they don't have a pass rush anymore it's really tough really tough without Suggs um but yeah this is not what the NFL network had in mind when they built this game Michael Vick against the 0-3 Ravens I feel like the Bengals are the team for you. They're like the girl in college that you know you're not going to date, but you keep kind of hooking up with. And you can't kind of get away. You always have believed in the Bengals a tiny bit more than everyone else. Yeah, you're kind of, you've spent a lot of money on them.

Give me an STD so I can cut ties with them all together. You've spent a lot of money on them. Give me an STD so I can cut ties with them all together. You've spent a lot of money on the Bengals over the years. I have, I have. They seem to be in your bets. Can we call the AFC right now? Can we call each division winner? It seems like we almost can. Patriots, Bengals.

Huge lead. I can't do it. Huge lead, three-game lead. I'm not sold on the Colts at all. I'd have to say the Colts. I know, but that team is such garbage. Such garbage. What a terrible not sold on the Colts at all. I'd have to say the Colts. I know. I don't feel good about that team at all. That team is such garbage. Such garbage. What a terrible defense. And I say the Broncos. You can get two to one odds for those

four, but I know the Colts. So we lost our Chiefs bet. Before the season we bet on the Falcons to win the division, which looks good. Looks good. Chiefs to win the division, which plus 300. I don't even think you did that. I think only I did that. I think you did, yeah. Ravens. Ravens. Which is gonna lose. And what was the fourth one? Oh, I have all kinds of pats bets yeah you know a lot of patriots

i've been all over the place with the pats i couldn't believe people thought brady was actually gonna miss games i know and maybe it was because i was a psychopath and i was unemployed and i was just following the case you were out of control i was like he's going to spend just a whole year tweeting about Roger Goodell. I was like a 9-11 truther. Deflategate. All right, I have for this game, I have the Steelers minus one over the Ravens. Okay, I had it as a pick, and the Ravens are actually favored by three. Is that because Michael Vick hasn't been good at football in like four years?

I don't know. Who does a short week benefit here? Like, I know Vick, you know, the backup quarterback would normally benefit from more time. But Ravens on a short week traveling, I don't know that they should be a three-point favorite. I don't agree with that line. I didn't like that Steve Smith called out a bunch of teammates. I thought that was a bad sign. Oh, yeah.

I don't know what to make of this game. I would not wager on it. Yeah, stay away from it. We're due for a Le'Veon Bell 245-yard 3TD game at some point. I don't know if this is the week. And the Ravens might be done. I mean, if you look at the Ravens. Yeah.

I sound like an ESPN talking head. Guys, if you look at the Ravens, you're looking at a team right now that is desperate. But if they lose this game, they're on four. It's over yeah they are kind of desperate um so if you're ever bringing out the kitchen sink and running weird formations and doing your trick plays and whatever you need to do this is the week i my problem with the ravens and i've watched them for three straight weeks flack out throws the best deep ball in the league right they don't have guys who can run deep routes anymore like i really

think they missed tory smith sure yeah and they drafted her uh i think first round pick but he's not hasn't really played the title apparently yeah yeah yeah yeah they just they have no deep speed and that's like if flacco is not going to pick you apart like part of what makes him flacco is he throws those 40 yarders they either catch it or there's a pass interference yeah but they don't have the team they've that. They've been behind early. They can't establish a run game. Four set is supposed to be a lot better than he showed the first three weeks. But, yeah, you want to say it's early, but they're 0-3 in that division

where Cincinnati's running away with it. They kind of need this one. All right, let's go to Sunday. Sunday, 6.30 in the morning, a.m. Pacific time in London. Yeah. Jets technically at Miami, but it's in London. We both gave Miami the nod at minus three. The Jets are laying two points.

I actually screwed up with that. I thought it was in Miami. But I deserve it. I don't feel like I need to remind you. If I knew it was in London, I think I would have taken the Jets. Yeah. I don't feel like I need to remind you. If I knew it was in London, I think I would have taken the Jets. I think, I mean, I've tweeted this, but a couple things really amused me in the four weeks leading up to the season. One was that the Dolphins were going to win the AFC East.

I was really amused by that because they quit on Joe Philbin the last two years. I thought that might be a bad sign. Sam Bradford being good, being an MVP candidate. I was really amused by that. I enjoyed that. The Colts. Colts being in the Super Bowl. Even though their defense sucked last year,

they didn't really do anything to improve it. They didn't improve their offensive line. I was confused by that. The Eagles. Everybody just was anointing this dangerous team. Based on nothing. Half of the first quarter of the third preseason game everyone said oh these girls are going to the super bowl it was just outrageous to me i thought this was

the year of people projecting things that they thought but but there was no basis in action whatever nothing um so i'm not surprised by the dolphins at all and and i just don't think they're very good at football well this is our favorite thing to analyze, I think. Bad coaches? Who do you think? To be fired first, Jay Gruden was running away with it before the season started. Joe Philbin's got to be, what, minus 700? No, Philbin, he is the favorite at plus 240.

Oh, my God. Can we bet on that? You want to jump on that? You love it. You may get fired in London. They might just leave him there. That's it, right? Plus 240.

Yeah. Who is the other candidate? Well, all right. So Pagano is five to one. There's been a lot of talk about that, but they're not going to fire Chuck Pagano if he's seven and three in that division, you know? Yeah. Caldwell, five to one.

Lions could lose. They could keep losing for a while. So who could have saw that coming? With Jim Caldwell. Patton for the Browns. Who could have seen danger with Jim Caldwell as a head coach? And Patton with the Browns? Patton 7-1 and Gruden then is 8-1.

It could be Philbin, but when is the first coach fired? That won't wait. If they lose this London game, there's a bye week the next week for them, right? I think so. I'm looking right now. They spent a lot of time on that. A lot of money on that team. Jets in London, bye week, and then they go at Tennessee, home for Houston,

at New England on a Thursday. Those next three aren't terrible. Yeah, but if you're going to fire them, you're doing it now because you'd be one in three. You'd at least have a chance to save stuff. I thought the two teams that just looked sloppy and like they didn't care and were poorly coached were that actually seemed to have some talent in miami and detroit yeah but you watched that detroit game on sunday night i'm not sure denver is even better than them it was just detroit stupid like they do dumb stuff you've ever seen somebody load seven people on the left side

of the line and right lose a field goal miss like that? I've never even seen that before. Yeah, they do dumb things. And also, their offensive line's bad, so they don't have the one staffer to Calvin Johnson. They don't even have time for him to unload to Calvin Johnson for the either pass interference or miracle catch down. You know how I love the are we sure he's good thing?

Yeah. Calvin Johnson, we know he's good. Are we sure he's still Calvin Johnson? Haven't seen him in like two years. He made a great play Sunday night. Were they just not using him right? I just don't think there's time. Calvin Johnson, just throwing it up to him five times a game.

Yeah, he can't get open deep because Stafford doesn't have time. But Stafford looks to me like he's a candidate for alex smith is the other candidate for that matt shabba word this year the qb that just loses it yeah just loses confidence and starts to fall apart like he did some really weird stuff in that denver game i can see that now you got the two guys rushing you the whole time phil rivers is right there all right colts jags i have a colts in double digits, and I like the Jags. But I pick Colts by 11. I think it's too high.

Yeah, I went 10, and it's 9.5. Still seems a little too high. I went that one. You know who might not be good is Blake Bortles. I say give him a shot. I don't know why. Can't say I was scared of him during the Pats game. I know.

You almost have to wipe all Patriots and Packers games off your slate right now. It's like dropping the lowest quiz score when you get a semester grade or something. I thought you were going to say because we cheated. My feelings were already prepared to be hurt. That's always built in, that you cheated. But how about this with the Colts? I think they've won 14 in a row in that terrible division. Yeah.

That division should be disbanded. They should get rid of those three teams, and the Colts should be thrown in the East or something, and figure out those three teams play for one spot to come back into the league. Like, 14 in a row against a team, that's not fair. You can't do that. It seems like we should have four A-team divisions. Four A-team divisions.

Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. As long as the Jags, Texans, and Titans aren't in there. And over the course of six years, you play everyone the same amount of time or whatever it needs to be. It's just ridiculous that the Colts have gotten

to be in that division for this long. Yeah. Right. Luck has five straight games with multiple interceptions, and they're going to run away with this division. Also, the division is really, it's not the city, it's the owner. You're in a division that has Washington, Philly, and the Giants. Those are three teams that are always going to try to spend money

and be competitive, whereas if you're in a division with Jacksonville and Tennessee, you're in a small market. Let's keep going. Let's go Oakland at Chicago. You let's go. Oakland at Chicago. You had it at minus one for Chicago. You had the Bears favored. I had Oakland favored by one and a half, and I was a little weird thinking that,

and then it ended up Oakland is laying a field goal in Chicago. Has it gotten that bad with this fire sale in Chicago? It's unbelievable the Raiders are favored. Did you, I mean, they flew to Seattle 10 punts. Yeah. I saw that somewhere. I thought it was funny. That was it. Our trip to Seattle, 10 punts.

Yeah. And then we fly home. Thanks for coming. Zero points, 10 punts. Well, and now they traded Jared Allen. They traded John Bostick. And, you know know you don't see the fire sale in football in the middle of the season or in the beginning and john fox must

he must really appreciate it's like hey i have a lousy ticker here you're trading off all these guys and i signed off on i'm gonna have to coach this terrible team in december in soldier field like give me a break i like john John Fox. His last season in Carolina was the year they ended up with the pick that got them, Cam Newton. Right. And they were just losing game

after game down the stretch with Jimmy Claussen. Yeah, yeah. And then he goes to Denver and Peyton Manning. First he has Tebow. Right. And Peyton Manning

miraculously shows up. He gets to make Peyton Manning as his quarterback. And now he's back with Jimmy Claussen. I know. He's like, what happened? Did I dream the last five years?

And they want to get rid of everyone. Now Forte is on the market, apparently. Tanking in the NFL. We haven't seen it like that. Speaking of the Panthers, Panthers at Tampa. Tampa got a little preseason buzz. My illegitimate son, Bill Barnwell, was high on them. I was trying to talk him out of it.

I had the Panthers by three and a half. And you nailed it. You nailed it. I said Panthers by seven. I just thought Tampa was pitiful last week, but it's too much to give on the road, apparently. Three and a half is right. You had that exactly right. And Winston will have four games a year where he's just going to be horrendous and

he'll throw four picks and fumble twice and do those things. And this could be one of them. I have a confession to make. My feelings were hurt this week. I always wanted Jared Allen allen to end up on the patriots oh really he was on the market it just seemed like couldn't you see him for one year passing through the belichick vortex and yeah just being a great patriot and belichick talking like it just felt right and then he ended up in carolina i think it's like one of those things where like i think a lot of teams would have given up more for jared allen it's like when they those things where like, I think a lot of teams would have given up more for Jared Allen.

In fantasy, like when you're like, hey, whoa, what are you trading Marshawn Lynch for? I would have given you something for him. You know, what did they give up for? Nothing. Was it a six? No, nothing. It was really frustrating. We'll look it up. The Panthers,

you know, I've done this before with teams where I've just convinced myself they weren't good and they kept winning, and I just begrudgingly, I just stuck to my, no, no, it's good. And then by week nine, I've lost every week against them. Yeah. I'm giving in on the Panthers. You're giving in?

Yeah. I'm going to, I didn't pick them last week, which actually was smart because they didn't cover, but they might just be pretty good. Better than the Falcons? No. No. No.

I think they battled to the end to get the division crown. I think the Falcons are really well coached. Yeah. And that was one of the reasons I want to bet on them. But I can't say I love what I've seen from Matt Ryan. No? Like some of his throws, you would never call him lights out. He misses guys, under throws,

he'll make weird plays, and I never feel 100% comfortable when I bet on him. I do think they figure stuff out. I think Quinn is a good coach. I think freaking Kyle Shanahan all of a sudden has Julio Jones. He's perfect right now.

He's like 6'3 220 physical receivers totally moving around all the time gets a release almost every play and they're they're gonna be tough and they win games in the second half against decent teams so it's a good our friend uh mike lombardi he loves kyle shanahan and when he went there he was like that was the best move of the office yeah that guy's really good at coaching and quinn is really good at coaching right i you know, a good coaching staff versus what they had last year with Mike Smith, that's got to be worth four, five, six wins. I don't know. Yeah.

Let's take their game. Houston and Atlanta. Oh, I had Falcons by six and a half dying to be teased. We both had six and a half. It is, in fact, six and a half. And yes, that's our first... Who are we teasing them with? Could we do a three-teamer with the Packers and the Cardinals?

We'll get to them later. We can get to them. Yeah, I think that's an easy one. I watched Houston last week, and they don't have a lot. They're going to go back and forth between Mallett and who was it? The Browns guy. Hoyer.

Yeah, Hoyer. That's going to be rough. Good luck. Maybe this is our second two-team teaser team. Giants at Bills. I have the Bills by three and a half. Might be too low. It was too low.

I had six and a half, and it's six. Vegas believes in the Bills as a home team. Hmm. You don't like that. Eli is just... Eli's like a rabid dog. I don't even know. I'm just so afraid of him.

Both ways. I don't like betting on him. I don't like betting against him. I don't know what he's capable of. The Giants in general are like that. Yeah. You don't want to do that. All right.

Could you see them just going in and Eli throws five touchdown passes yeah Beckham gets 200 yards and I do think the Bills are like a six and two or seven and one team at home this year I like Tyrod I the Pats I watched week one carefully with him and he basically just threw deep passes or short scramble passes right and the Pats were like no no you're gonna throw 15 yard passes to beat us he couldn't do it but then when they fell way behind he started running around throwing a couple deep balls like he does stuff he kind of is the quarterback we always wanted geno smith and those type of guys to be sure yeah but he actually is that guy yeah and uh and he's confident like that's all they needed he's not gonna lose games for them and rex is a good coach i mean that guy's always prepared he has teams to overachieve he

brought mark sanchez to two title games you know yeah he beat the patriots in new england mark sanchez in the playoff game they are last in the league yards allowed wise you wouldn't think that for the bills but is it because uh they played the patriots and they played a lot of garbage time against uh well and the colts too there's a lot of second half garbage time both of those games. It's an interesting state. I believe in the Bills. All right. KC at Cincinnati. Now, KC might be...

Like, the wheels might come off here for KC. Wow. I'm surprised. Or you could argue, what were the two games they lost? We had them Thursday night at Denver. We were very upset that they blew that game. That was...

And we should have seen it coming. And then they lost last week. Yeah, but they, so they lost to the Broncos and they lost to Green Bay. Sure. Both games were on the road. Oh, no, no, I'm sorry. The Broncos game was in KC. Broncos was home.

But you could argue those were two of the best five teams in the league. Sure. So maybe we shouldn't get carried away with this Chiefs thing. Maybe not. So you had, I think this line's going to be messed up. I had Bengals by seven. I had three and a half, and it's four. They don't want to back Cincinnati, Vegas doesn't,

as much as maybe they should now. It's because Andy Dalton can't help himself. He just can't. It's mistake-free so far. It looks great, and then he'll do one dumb thing, and you're like, oh, that's Andy Dalton. By the way, speaking of doing dumb things, we had Marvin Lewis to get fired first at 30-1 before the year started.

Good odds. That's a loss, sure. Good odds. We didn't know Joe Philbin that the Dolphins had already quit on him in August. Now, Cincinnati, let's look at their schedule. KC, Seattle, at Buffalo, by, and then at Pittsburgh, maybe Big Ben back. I don't know. Maybe they're not winning the division so fast.

You know, they're always off with the medical diagnoses where it's like, Dez is four to six weeks, and then it turns out it's 12 weeks. Roethlisberger, I feel like, is going to come back way sooner. Right, yeah. Like, oh, my ACL's torn. Just like, can you put some tape on it? I'm going to play next week.

I could see him being back in two weeks. Yeah, right. That guy's a beast. I know. He's the toughest quarterback in the league. You knew he wasn't going down. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Philly at Washington. Okay. So I have Philly favored by one and a half at Washington. All right. I said three. I'm beating you up pretty good this week, Billy. I told you.

You have a better feel right now. I said three, and it's three and a half. The Eagles favored by- Am I wrong that I don't mind this Washington team? They threw everyone off their scent because they didn't look that great on Thursday night. But, you know, it was a must-win game for the Giants, and it was a Thursday night.

It's the genius Jossel. It's Chip Kelly's a genius. Dan Snyder's a genius. Well, it's going to be an explosion this game. Genius Jocelyn. I don't know what to think here. Wasn't genius Jocelyn, wasn't he, who had receiver at Tampa? I think he had a stint in the WWE for a while.

Yeah, it's a stay away, betting wise, I think. It's a stay away, but Washington does some things pretty well. Yeah, they're okay. I'm not sold on the Eagles at all, and I think Sam Bradford is a below average quarterback. All right, now we're in the bottom 10. Late afternoon games. Yep.

Minnesota, Denver. So I had Denver by eight and a half, and I don't know if I would throw them in a tease, but Minnesota scares me a little bit. That Sunday, that Monday night game in San Francisco, we should remember this next year. That weird start. It's like 10-10 East Coast time. You're playing football, and it's like the team always looks weird. Maybe throw that out next year.

Yeah, maybe. Because they might be decent. You had 8.5. I had 6.5. It's 7. Denver favored by 7. God, you're crushing me. I don't know if—is that our second team?

Who do we like? We like Atlanta so far in a team? I like Packers, Cards, and Falcons. All right. Yeah. Because, you know, the Broncos could have easily started out. Well, could they have gone 0-3? Yeah, right?

They could have lost the Ravens game. They could have lost the Chiefs game. The Lions, if they missed that field goal, the Lions are down two with seven minutes left, and they just have to kick a field goal to win the game. 3-0 with kind of spectacular covers too. They won all the game and they shouldn't have even covered maybe two of them. Everyone was giving me crap

that I went against Peyton Manning in a night game and lost with the Chiefs. I didn't bet on the Lions last week, but I picked them. And my defense says, have you watched Peyton Manning? He can't move anymore. And he can't throw anymore.

He can't feel his fingertips because of that fireworks accident, right? I get confused about the stories. I think they're going to be, people aren't going to get over this, but they're going to be like the Panthers. They're going to win games like 17-12. And people are going to get mad, but that defense is so good and puts so much pressure on opposing quarterbacks that they're going to win games like 17-12. People are going to get mad, but that defense is so good and puts so much

pressure on opposing quarterbacks that they're going to get it done. He's firing out of the pistol formation. You can't do that in December and January. They knew that going into the season. Now they've audibled. They've already lost three straight years because he's

not going to be able to do that in January. They'll have 10 or 11 wins, I think. I i think they go like 12 and 4 he you know the one thing this year is he's just throwing it up for grabs and thomas and sanders have have made like five of the best eight catches in the in the season so far he needs i don't know how to lock into one of these tight ends it hasn't been owen daniels uh julius thomas was the man of their record his numbers when he was in the lineup were great now he's at jacksonville not even playing but as soon as he latches onto one of these tight ends they'll make the offense flow better it's funny listening to

these announcers talk about manning and they're gushing about him like he's paid manning from 10 years ago which is idiotic because we're all watching the game yeah but the angle that everybody seems to be missing is like he's still good even though he clearly has like very very little left yeah you know and it was like it reminds me birds last two years when he had the back brace and he's just running he's a 30 pound back brace he can't bend over and he's still like scoring 20 a game it's really impressive like i really gained a lot of respect for Manny. Wow, this is a big moment for you. I really have. I just think he's a shell of himself

and he's so freaking smart that it's like now it's just his brain. Physically, he's got nothing left. It's over. But like Favre's gonna do this. Yeah, I see what you're saying. Yeah, he's old. It happens.

He's like 42. Of course this is gonna happen. It's like the NBA center, how much that 38 to 39-year-old, that one year, the difference it makes. And football, it's probably worse. I've been really impressed by him. Because in that Chiefs game, they're down 14-0, and he threw a pick, and the guy dropped it.

If that guy caught it and went the other way, I think it's different. And it seemed, for whatever reason, that was a tipping tipping point what's the next one they're just smarter uh cleveland at san diego cleveland at san diego two teams that i do not like i had the chargers by seven and they have a little stink to them this year out of that i don't like i had seven also and it's seven and a half so we tie that one but Not sure about Mike McCoy. Oh, man. Well, listen, Mike McCoy, it goes both ways with this.

I don't know which one to take. In case you thought Cleveland was about to make a run, here's their schedule. At San Diego, at Baltimore, Denver, at St. Louis, Arizona, at Cincinnati, at Pittsburgh. Maybe we jump on those pet nods because they could be looking at one and nine. I had a couple Browns fans actually email me that saying basically, look at our schedule. We're not going to win another game. They had to go 3-0 to do anything.

Yeah. All right, what else do we have? We have Green Bay at San Francisco. Okay, so you like this one and a teaser coming up. Yep. I had Green Bay by six and a half. I might have gone too low. You went too low. I said nine. It's nine and a half you talk about that first monday game

vegas they threw everybody out yeah yeah but it took two weeks like that cards line was four points too low on sunday right with the niners and speaking of complimenting other quarterbacks it's not yours you told me that aaron rogers was the best you told him private conversation i'll say it publicly wow this is a big moment for you bill simmons i think brady is grown up i think brady is the best quarterback of all time right i think right now when i watch rogers and i don't know if i've ever felt this way about a quarterback before now that could go in a lot of directions let that breathe for a second. I don't know what he can't do. He can do everything. It's like, what would you say?

Like, ah, man, Aaron Rodgers, if he can only do this, like with Brady, it was always, yeah, he's slow. He can't really scramble. He's cagey, but he's slow. And Manny was the same thing. Rodgers can do everything Manning and Brady can do, but he can also move around and scramble and buy time like Roethlisberger. He's smart and he's competitive. I don't know what you would change about him. He buys time. If something came out and said there were nine guys on the field every time he played Lambeau, you wouldn't

be like, oh yeah, that makes sense. It looks like he could always find an opening. He could always find a receiver open. When we look to bet the Packers, who would have to be hurt other than aaron rogers for you not like oh lacy's questionable davante adams is questionable and jordy nelson's i was like i don't care i like the pack they lost jordy nelson it didn't matter when they lost adams this week it didn't matter yeah and i think that's what he has in common with brady is brady the guys

changed every year and he was always managing to get to his stats they're the best at making no names great yeah but brady now has reached a point where he goes to the line, he reads it, and in two seconds he gets the ball out, and it's always to the right person. Rodgers can do that, but he can also, the guy's not open, uh-oh, I've got to scramble, oh, this guy's coming, I'm just going to move around him, oh, now I'm rolling out, oh, you do this, and now it's a 30-yard pass.

Right, right. He's the best. Is he good enough that we want to put them? We're teasing the Packers this week. Well, then they have to give three and a half, though. I promise you we're teasing them this week. All right, we'll figure that out. The last afternoon game, St. Louis at Arizona.

Jeff Fisher, yet again. Yeah. Yet again. The Nick Foles-Sam Bradford trade was really way up there on the bad trade department. It was like me trading my cheating Volkswagen car for your car that blows up. It's just, who wins that? Who wins Foles and Bradford? I thought Foles.

I thought they would be so much better. They had to be so bad. I picked the Rams last week, and they had to be so bad to lose that game. Kendrick, whoever the tight end is, he dropped the ball. He dropped a touchdown in the lights, and they had fireworks, explosions. But, yeah, to lose that game was bad news. I had the cards by eight. You're actually going to win this one.

I had nine and a half, and it's seven. And I don't know. I worry a little about a cheap cover here for the Rams, but Arizona is so good. I'm not as worried. Hey, it's time for one more live read. Go ahead. This is actually a recurring segment

that's going to be in every podcast I do, I think, unless it's like with a weird guest. It's time for the biggest mailbag question ever. Presented by our old friend, Stamps.com. I miss those guys. All right, quickly by our old friend, Stamps.com. Oh. I miss those guys. All right, quickly. Come on.

Going to the post office. It's a miserable experience from start to finish. I wish I knew a better way to mail and ship stuff. Hmm. What about Stamps.com? At Stamps.com, you can buy and print official U.S. postage for any letter or package using your own computer and printer. Even better, if you sign up for St stamps.com, use the promo code BS.

You get a four-week trial plus a $110 bonus offer that includes a postage and digital scale. Go to stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage, type in BS. It's that easy. Stamps.com. You love my live reads. I love it.

And now we're going to do the biggest mailbag question ever. I'm waiting so I can make the, you mailed in the stamps.com. You love my live reads. I love it. And now we're going to do the biggest mailbag question ever. I'm waiting so I can make the you mailed in the stamps.com promo. No, I can't. I love doing those promos. I know. You're all over it. I have to wait. All right.

Here's the biggest mailbag question ever for this week. It comes from David Lippman from Arlington, Virginia. By the way, if you want to mail in a question for this, BSpodcast33 at gmail.com. Here's what David suggests. The NFL added a new scoring play that badly needs a name. The defensive score on a botched conversion, which is now a thing. Because if you miss that 33-yard PAT, they can return it back. You get two points.

So David says, what if we called it, you know, when you don't get it? You return it,. You get two points. So David says, what if we called it, you know, when you don't get it, you return it, but it doesn't happen. You end up getting tackled or whatever. What if you called it the failed attempt return for two acronym fart?

I like that. Think of the possible headlines. Jets fart away victory. Yeah. Raiders win on epic fart. Yeah. A fart off, like a walk off home run. Yeah. They won on a fart off. It was like, did you see that on epic fart. Yeah. A fart off, like a walk-off home run.

Yeah. They won on a fart off. It was like, did you see that? We were down one, we blocked the P.A.T., and then we couldn't get the fart. I like that. I love fart humor. Beautiful. All right, congratulations, David Lippman.

We're all proud of you. Good job by you. I enjoyed that question. Thanks to Stamps.com. Do you like the extra point? I don't like it. I think it looks weird to me. I think they should have done it from the 30.

I don't know why they did the 33. 33 is actually like a little nerve-wracking. Yeah. For Larry Bird, I thought. I thought it was for you. Oh, is that what you... Yeah, that's what they said. Oh.

I didn't realize that was Goodell's way to make up with me. That's right. See, you're even now. No, but when you're watching six screens at once and you're like, oh, is this a field goal or an extra point? I can't tell. And also, it's not in the middle of the field. I guess, does the kicker get to choose?

Because I've seen it on both hash marks. I like that a couple kickers have bitched about it. Like, of course they're going to bitch about it. You've taken the easiest play of your life, and now you've made it slightly more difficult. Yeah. I mean, what if basketball players made free throws at 97% like they should?

Yeah. And then they decide to move it back. I wouldn't like that. I don't know. Just leave it. It's fine. Or you know what? Give them the seven.

I think it's like you get seven or you can go for two. Let's not even watch this kick. I like it because it's exciting when it gets blocked or it misses. You do? Yeah. Like what was the game? Was it Sunday night? Somebody blocked it and they were running it back. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was fun. Yeah. All right. You do? Yeah. Like, what was the game? Was it Sunday night? Somebody blocked it and they were running it back.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That was fun. Yeah. All right, Sunday night next week. Wow, your team. Saints, Cowboys. There's going to be no line on this because we don't know about Breeze. You said two.

I thought Breeze was playing, so I said Saints by two. And I said four, and I saw seven. Let's just throw it out because they don't know if Breeze is playing. Can we recap the conversation we had on Sunday morning when I convinced you that Brandon, we didn't need it to be bet against wagered against my reasoning. I know I was like, look,

it's Brandon Whedon. Yeah. Uh, we all thought we'd never have this chance again. Right. And now we have this chance. Yeah. He's favored.

Right. This is unbelievable. Right. to bet against brandon weed and i'm getting points like this might never happen again let's do this you're right you're like oh they're gonna have short short passes you were right and you get to cash the check but your analysis was off brandon weed was fine that game you threw the interception that murdered you though well that's what's going to happen. That killed you. Let me tell you what murdered me, and I tweeted about this. So, let's just... They're up, I think it's 21... I don't know what it is,

but they go up 14 points. With 46 seconds... No, with 46 seconds left, they're at the one-yard line, and the clock is running. And the Cowboys are up seven, I believe. So what do you do? Jason Garrett calls a timeout. I was going to say, he's probably going to make the wrong choice.

Yeah, he calls a timeout to get his bigs on the field. You have 25, 30 seconds. They had two timeouts. You have 30 seconds to get that play in. Don't give Matt Ryan, and of course he comes down, they kick a field goal, and that kick-started their offense. And they lost by 11 instead of 8, and that last drive could have mattered. I don't want to hear about these coaches that go through three divorces because they're working 90 hours a week.

If you can't play Sega Genesis and figure out that you need to let that clock run, then something's wrong there. Sorry, Jason Garrett. Are coaches really getting divorced because they work 90 hours a week? That's supposed to be the deal. No, they're not. I bet Joe Philbin is happily married. Plus 240. Jim Conville, too.

Plus 240. I bet both of those guys are happily married. Their wives love them. Oh, Joe's home. It's only 430, Joe. Joe, you got it all figured out. What are you doing here? I thought you had to work.

No, no, it's fine maybe we should bet that before before this podcast goes up of him and Domic and Sue nose to nose on the sidelines and then that's it oh yeah right well London's usually there's usually bad coaching blunders in London because I remember last year was the famous Jim Caldwell Mike Smith right whatever the hell happened that last two minutes. I was barely awake. I'm drinking coffee. I was just coaching boners left and right. I'm excited for it.

And Andy Reid, by the way, has really stepped up his game, too, this year. Andy Reid has 15 years of evidence now that he just has no clue with. Anything to do with clock management or anything. How is that possible? It's unbelievable. What about that Denver game in the first half when there was 2.30 left and Denver had no timeouts

and he threw the ball twice. It's like, just run the ball once. Take it a two minute warning. What are you doing? It happens every week in three games. It's one thing if the quarterback you can make the argument like, there aren't 32 guys in the world that could play quarterback in the nfl and that's why you have like four or six clunkers but it can't be the same for coaches like well there just aren't 32

guys who know clock manager like you could pay a guy 30 grand some kid at mit who could figure out just numbers like boom that's it no no time out yes call time out it's like somebody's doing that right somebody has a clock assistant somebody i forget which team but they hired some they're cleveland does but cleveland hasn't helped but yeah i mean they'll never get down to the last two minutes when it matters but they do have this guy hired it is crazy that they're not playing manziel yeah i don't like it one bit. You're not going anywhere anyway. Right. See if Manziel's good, unless he's not good. When you decide you're not going to win nine games or ten games and compete for the wild card division,

the only thing you have to figure out at the end of the year is whether you need to cut ties with Johnny Manziel, right? Isn't that the only thing they need to determine? And they're not even putting him in. I'm rooting for him. Yeah. Sure, why not? I feel like he's a child actor it's like wow or like somebody some musician who made it he's like bieber it's like having the bieber where you're like they hit rock bottom and you know like

fame and all this stuff was bad for them and it wasn't really their fault they couldn't handle it and now they're trying to reconstruct their life yeah he crawled his way out of the dana plato what yeah totally life and maybe making them but with with singers it's easier because it's like and now they're trying to reconstruct their life. Yeah, he crawled his way out of the Dana Plato life and may be making a movie. But with singers, it's easier because it's like you just get a good producer and you go in the studio and you sing some songs. Like when you're a quarterback,

it's the hardest job in sports. And he's on top of all the other stuff he's going on. I hope he makes it. Unfortunately, he's like five foot three. We're rooting for you, Johnny Manziel. Just try to get in the game somehow. All right, Monday night, Detroit at Seattle. God.

I probably went too low. I said Seahawks by 11. You said 11. I said 10, and it is 10 right now. Oh, I didn't go to them. We have to get this on a teaser. I really did. 9-2 with three ties.

So we're tied 2-2 after four weeks. But I have a controversial statement to make. Go ahead. I don't know if the Seahawks are out of the woods yet. No, I know. You put them in your top seven. I don't know. I think they are from a talent standpoint.

But it came chance or came back. They look good last week. I was like, oh, it's fine. Right. There's a lot of chemistry stuff I don't like with that team. I think that Super Bowl loss last year was terrible. The Sports Illustrated story about how the offense and the defense went to Hawaii and it was Russell Wilson was trying to get them together.

Russell Wilson seems like a strange guy just in general. Like his performance in the Entourage movie was just perplexing right you were in love hey can i take my shirt off uh yeah okay russell that sounds great this is sour grapes i think on your part what about the black lives matter thing when uh one guy said one thing and then the other guy had the press conference to refute the first guy's comments on black lives matter that was weird yeah cam chance are holding. That was weird. The fact that they actually thought there were guys in the team that thought they wanted Russell Wilson to throw the winning touchdown pass because they didn't want Marshawn Lynch to get it.

That was an actual thing that people thought? Yeah. That was weird. They have to figure a lot of things out. They have to work Jimmy Graham into that offense. Jimmy Graham is unhappy. Marshawn Lynch, if he's going to show up 40 minutes late to every game, that's probably not going to be great.

I don't know what they're going to do. Their schedule is they have Detroit, which they'll win, but then they're at Cincy, home for Carolina, at San Francisco, at Dallas, bye week. But then the second half of the season, that's when they play Zona twice. Yeah. And that will – I think Zona zone is really good and you do too yeah um but they have some tough games in there and i don't know i i like arizona a little bit more i do too i'm not even they have a better coach i don't even feel like we're making like a a ballsy call here like this is like i think

arizona's better. They're right there in the elite now. I think Arizona is better at football than Seattle right now. But also like the windows in the NFL, usually it's three years, four years. It might be at the tail end of the Seattle window. You got to start paying guys. You don't get those draft bargains anymore.

Oh, they have eight guys taking up 80% of their payroll. Yeah. How are you doing on your ESPN SportsCenter picks? I was two and one last week. Hit my bets, bets two out of their payroll. Yeah. How are you doing on your ESPN SportsCenter picks? I was 2-1 last week. Hit my bets two out of three weeks. And, yes, again, though, I don't like—we could talk teasers. We're blue in the face. We'll pick those.

But I don't love anything right now, straight up. Oh, for week four? Yeah, I don't know. Can't you just do teasers with the segment? I could. I just don't know if people understand teasers. I'm looking like Neil Everett shaking his head yes, but I'm not sure everyone's totally in sync with this.

I actually, driving my daughter home from soccer practice on Monday, I was listening to the game, and she asked me who I was reading for, and I said the Packers. And she said, did you bet on the Packers? And I said, I teased them. And there's silence. She's like, what does that mean? I'm like, well, you know, they have a gambling line.

What? So now I'm explaining gambling lines. You move the points. She's like, what does that mean? Yeah. I'm like, well, you know, they have a gambling line. What? So now I'm explaining gambling lines. Right. Move the points. It's so stupid. I just sounded like such a degenerate. Child protective service. Pulling you over on them.

Yeah, so then it's like, so they're supposed to win by seven, but then you tease it down to one. And she's just looking at me with this confused look. This is a nice math lesson for them at this point. Yeah. Speaking of confused, I got a confusing phone call from you what i'm sorry yeah emmy night uh that night it was late you i think you remember now but here hold on here's how it went let me play it for you cousin sal sports guy here long time no talk i'm here enjoying myself at the hbo emmy after party Now I'll be honest I'm six or seven lemon drop martinis in

But I'm so excited about our podcast in a couple weeks Hopefully I'll have sobered up by then And I'm calling you to remind you To remind me, to remind you, to remind me That in the first podcast I'd like to talk about the greatness of one Thomas Edward Patrick Malcolm Jamal Brady The most extraordinary and handsome quarterback

That ever walked a gridiron Whatever the hell that is And I've been talking about him all night Everybody here at the party agrees He was set up I talked to Kenny Powers Julia Louis-Dreyfus That one guy who used to do the Sniglets

They're all on board They all agree that Tom was framed by that That fart-faced stupid head Roger Goodell. Tom's the best around. Nothing's ever going to keep him down. Even Khaleesi told me that one of her baby dragons pleasures itself the Tommy Tinsel Tummy. And why wouldn't it? Tom's got those nice pink lips, thighs as muscular as a Tasmanian kangaroo, and let's not forget that mushy-gushy-tushy of his. I'll tell you, I'd rather be condemned to a life of hell or True Detective 2 on a continuous loop than have my beloved Pat experience a season without Tommy Boy. What? What's that?

Sorry, Vince Vaughn, I was kidding about True Detective. It's a joke, it had its moments. The explosions were super cool. Vince, put me down. Come on. Vegas, baby. Sports guy, over and out. Kristaps Porzingis. Kristaps Porzingis. I think you have to cough after you do the voice.

I don't know. Why do you cough? I don't remember that at all. Wow. That's it. You had the lemon drop martinis. How can you remember? Who's on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week? Jimmy Kimmel Live. Thursday and it. Yeah, the lemon drop martinis. How can you remember? Who's on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week?

Jimmy Kimmel Live. Thursday and Friday. It's Thursday. Watch tonight. LL Cool J, Kate Mara, music from Andra Day. And follow me at TheCousinSal on Twitter. And I'll be giving out three locks on SportsCenter Thursday night, early Friday morning on ESPN, the worldwide leader in sports.

That's a good segue. I wanted to talk about HBO. Go ahead. I'm just really excited. It's a great place. It's going to be fun. It's really good. Are you going to have Marty Lang on your first guest?

No, not going to do that. Next spring, the show is going to start. I'll have more details to come. And then from a podcast standpoint, we're doing this every Monday or we're going to try to do every Monday. There might be a couple of days where we're off a day. On Fridays, Joe House is going to come on. We're going to do picks on for Fridays and a whole bunch of other stuff.

And then we're going to try to do one other at least during the week, at least for the next six months. Good. And then we'll see what happens. I don't know how busy I'm going to be, but I really miss doing this podcast. I actually miss doing it more than writing the column somehow. So much fun. Maybe because it's easier. Poor Joe House went

15-1 his first week. He was like a caged lion. Couldn't talk about it with anybody. I know. And we didn't do super contests this year. We didn't. But you know what Joe House did? What? He did? Oh, yeah. He flew out there? No, he got some proxy. Oh. Him and another friend of his. And he cheated on you with the super contest. He doesn't feel bad about it either. Oh, yeah. He flew out there? No, he got some proxy. Oh. Him and another friend of his, and he cheated on you with the super contest.

He doesn't feel bad about it either. Oh, that's it. He doesn't feel bad either. Oh, he's going to get an earful from me. I thought you had to fly out there to sign up. I realized something. We probably should have gotten some 23-year-old college kid to just drive to Vegas and register for us. Yeah, we're just a proxy.

We should have done that. Yeah. I know plenty of just drive to Vegas and register for us. Yeah. We're just a proxy. We should have done that. Yeah. I know plenty of people who would have done that for us. Who would have done the drive and gotten a piece of the whole thing. Is it too late? I think it's too late. It's too late. And the sad thing is I probably would be like 12 and three right now.

Yeah, of course. Because the first three weeks are pretty easy. That's what scares me about week four. Yeah, I know. The Cuz, great to have you back. Good job by you. Good job by you, Billy. We'll be back on the Bill Simmons podcast with more podcasts.

We got three other ones coming this week. Stay tuned for those. Thanks for your emails. Thanks for your support. It's great to be back. The first ever episode of the Bill Simmons podcast was brought to you by Squarespace. Start building your website today at squarespace.com. For just $8 a month to get 24 seven customer support,

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