The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 113: Cousin Sal, Deep Dives With Brendan Lynch, and RNC Wrap-up With JackO

Episode Date: July 22, 2016

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons brings on Cousin Sal for an emergency summer bet proposal to curse Donald Trump's presidential chances. Then 'Any Given Wednesday' writer Brendan Lynch joins (27:05) ...for another edition of his internet deep dives. Finally, Bill's buddy JackO gives his final thoughts on the Republican National Convention (52:00), breaks down Trump's tirade, and predicts Hillary vs. Trump debate scenarios. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode of the BS Podcast is brought to you by SeatGeek, our presenting sponsor. The only fan-friendly app for buying and selling tickets for sports and music, which is two taps on your phone. You can instantly buy SeatGeek tickets to an event, you can have them delivered to your phone, and you can enter the event. Technology, it's amazing. Drop your old ticket app, use one that's built for 2016. Again, do everything on your phone.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Download the free SeatGeek app or go to SeatGeek.com. Today's episode also brought to you by our old friends at SimpliSafe. Hey, newsflash, burglaries skyrocket over the summer. That's why SimpliSafe created a phenomenal security package with entry sensors, motion sensors, and glass break, as well as everything else you need to stop burglars from getting into your home. Get $100 off that package by going to SimpliSafeBill.com. Don't forget to check out the tail end of Cleveland Week on TheRinger.com.
Starting point is 00:00:56 A bunch of stories with Cleveland as the theme, including a great profile by Jordan Kahn about Tamir Rice's mother. We had Brian Curtis there all week reporting from the convention and a whole bunch of other pieces, a few LeBron pieces. It's great. It turned out awesome. And don't forget to check out the seven other podcast feeds on the Ringer Podcast Network, including Favreau and Pfeiffer
Starting point is 00:01:17 on Keeping It 1600. They've been breaking down the two conventions all month. Democrats coming next week. And also, don't forget my new HBO show, Any Given Wednesday, returns on July 27th at 10 p.m. on HBO. Check out our new splash page on HBO Now and HBO Go. That includes every episode and every bonus clip that we've done. It's that easy.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Just go to one of those two places, check them out. They're also on HBO On Demand too, but the splash page is cool. And as we add more extra stuff, it'll get cooler and cooler. Anyway, that's it. Alright, big podcast, Ed. Let's go. It's been a while since we had this guy on. You know it's an emergency when we have Cousin Salon during the summer.
Starting point is 00:02:08 The Cous, how are you? What's happening? Good to be back, Sportish Guy. What's going on? Lots to discuss. Oh, by the way, we have Jacko coming up way later for a moratorium on the Republican Convention as well. I think Brendan Lynch is coming as well. Who is sorry, my phone's going off.
Starting point is 00:02:30 We have we have Jacko coming up later for a moratorium on the Republican convention as well as Brendan Lynch. One of the writers of my show is going to talk about Internet deep dives with us. We haven't talked since we somehow screwed up an impossible bet to screw up in the NBA. And it made me think that we now have control over this presidential election, which I'm going to get to. But first, a recap of our NBA. We had a giant bet on the Warriors to win the title. We had the Spurs at 10-1. And somehow we just lost every single hedge
Starting point is 00:03:05 that we, that we possibly did. We had Oklahoma city. They were up three, one in round three. Uh, we rightly panicked cause they had a better team. Andre Goodall even admitted it,
Starting point is 00:03:15 put a giant bet to hedge our golden state bet. And then somehow, uh, golden state prevailed, which was great because then they were going to win the title. Uh, they're up to nothing. We. They're up 2-0. We had a million ways to hedge it. Nope.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Didn't hedge that. Go to game 7. Cavs are plus 6. A lot of texts about it. Nope. Didn't hedge that one. Cavs win the title. It makes me think we should just bet on Trump to win the presidential election and use our
Starting point is 00:03:44 powers maybe in a positive way. Can I just add to that mess that you just laid out for us? We had Buddy Heald Sooners over Villanova. They lost by 173 points. Oh, yeah. We had a hockey finalist parlay. Both teams lost in the first round. I don't even remember the first round. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:05 I don't even remember who it was. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. We had San Antonio 10-1 odds before they signed Aldridge. That was great. Didn't hedge over OKC. Then we did bet Golden State with Ben Simmons getting drafted first. We did hedge OKC against Golden State, so we lost that,
Starting point is 00:04:19 but didn't hedge, like you said, Golden State over Cleveland. I think we had a bet like Ben Simmons with anyone other than Cleveland to win the title. Any other year, anyone other than Cleveland, it shouldn't even be a bet. It's too easy. We had a double hedge because we had that bet and we had the Warriors bet and all we had to do was bet the Cavs plus
Starting point is 00:04:37 six and we're golden. Hedging is just something that has haunted us forever. We've just never figured it out. We should take in the summer to take a clinic. I don't know where they teach something like this, but we should have gone twice. We should have run it. And I steered you clear of Mark Hunt over Lesnar and Iceland over France in the Euro Cup. You did.
Starting point is 00:04:58 It's been bad. It's been bad. You did. Oh, and you left out we bet on Marco Rubio way back when, during the Republican convention, thinking that, well, nobody's voting for Ted Cruz. There's no way Donald Trump's going to win. Yeah, I still like Rubio. I still like it. This can't be happening.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Jimmy's had the show since January 2003. How many times has Trump been on? Probably like four or five. At any point were you thinking, wow, that guy's going to be president someday? No. And now he's plus 200. It could happen. Plus 200, it's so feasible.
Starting point is 00:05:35 It's like the Phillies at home versus Madison Bumgarner. It could happen. You could easily see this going down. Plus 200 was what the Cavs' money line was in Game 7 of the 2016 Finals, and they won. So I'm just throwing that out there as well. Oh, you're right. You're right. I don't know what hurts more, the fact that Donald Trump, who once fired our friend Adam Carolla on The Apprentice, is now one step away from being the president,
Starting point is 00:06:09 or that Scott Baio, one of the icons of our childhood, is now being remembered in a totally different way. I just wanted to remember him for Happy Days, for his relationship with the Fonz, for Charles in Charge and his relationship with Willie Ames, for all the great moments on Battle of the Network Stars, like the unbelievable obstacle course against Gregory Harrison, which is one of the great sports moments of the 80s.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Yeah. The Joni Loves Chachi two-minute theme song, which is one of the funniest clips on the internet. Oh, yeah. Check it out. These are all the things I wanted to remember about Scott Baio, and now I have him defending him standing in front of a Hillary Clinton poster that has the C word on it and him not apologizing for that. I mean, it's unbelievable. What is happening?
Starting point is 00:06:54 The only saving grace is that maybe, maybe I leapfrogged Chachi as America's most beloved cousin. Oh, that's interesting. I don't know. Italian cousin, definitely. Right, right. Where do you rank in the cousins? You're up there now. Cousin It, Cousin Chachi.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Let me tell you something. There was a crossword puzzle. There was a crossword puzzle last year, and it said TV's cousin blank, three letters, and it wasn't even me. It was Cousin It. It has three letters. It's I-T-T. What?
Starting point is 00:07:24 So, yeah, Cousin It. I was so excited. me it was cousin it i guess it has three letters it's itt what so yeah cousin hit is it was i was so excited i was like oh wow people are sending me this oh my god i've realized i've arrived it's official and uh no cousin it from 60 years ago it's still still remembered well i don't know how that happened i i can't even imagine the scenario where that happened i mean the shows that we grew up with are so dated now. I was watching a Brady Bunch episode just randomly flipping channels, and it was the one where they're doing the driving test. And the entire premise of the episode is Greg and Marcia are arguing about male drivers and female drivers.
Starting point is 00:07:59 And Greg and Mr. Brady are just like, come on, we all know females can't drive as well as males. And it's literally the launching pad for the episode. It feels like it came out 700 years ago. It's great. Yeah. So what do we do? I don't know what to do with this. So you're saying we bet Trump because then it'll lose.
Starting point is 00:08:21 Or I'm saying this is the ultimate hedge. I mean, sports doesn't really matter ultimately we love to think it matters but really it doesn't this is the future of the country at stake and we have a chance here to use our powers
Starting point is 00:08:37 maybe for good Gary Johnson for some reason is like 150 to 1 I don't even know who that is I was looking at that I don't even know who that is. Who is Gary Johnson? I was looking at that. I don't know what he stands for, but I love it. I think we should call him Gary Johnson.
Starting point is 00:08:50 A little sprinklesome on Gary Johnson? I was also thinking, like, what celebrity, because it would have to be a celebrity at this point, could step in as an independent and win this thing or come closest? Maybe this is a ringer. Oh, that's a good one. What celebrity could use? and win this thing or come closest. Maybe this is a ringer. Oh, that's a good one. What celebrity could use... So, is Kevin Kline in the mix?
Starting point is 00:09:11 Kevin Kline? Yeah, he's one of the best movie... He might be my favorite movie president. What if he was just like, look, I did this in a movie, now I'm ready to do this for real. That's not bad. I think he gets maybe 8 million votes,
Starting point is 00:09:23 but you have to, like... So, Bieber... Oh, Bieber's Canadian. That couldn't even, I was thinking like 10 million 18-year-old girls would vote for him and trickle down. Well, wouldn't the answer be The Rock? Like, he could harness his social media powers and probably get 30 million votes. I did think The Rock, and his speeches would be second to none. And that might be our answer. I mean, add Will Smith, Taylor Swift, Leo.
Starting point is 00:09:46 I know you like Damon over Leo, but maybe The Rock. I think The Rock would be good. I think it would have to be somebody who, like, it's basically The Rock or Kevin Hart or Ronaldo would be the three people who could use their social media powers for an election. Ronaldo's an eligible. Yeah, he's an eligible. But the other two, I think, are very eligible. They could do it. Yeah, I'd like to see someone step in.
Starting point is 00:10:11 All right, what realistic celebrity, though? Like, if Clooney said, you know what, I gotta run, I don't think he could win. Because Clooney, he would split votes with Hillary because he's been on the Democratic side so much. I don't know if he could run as an independent. But four years from now, he could be the Democratic nominee. I think that's what we're looking at right now. Well, if Clooney came out and gave a speech along the lines of what Trump did last night at the convention,
Starting point is 00:10:41 it's not like Trump had a plan for anything. He just said he was going to fix everything right he just he listed a series of things that he's going to make better but he never told us how or what the plan was to do that i feel like george clooney could do that could just come out um right the the uh the one who the one wild card, and he's just crazy enough to do it, is Mark Cuban. Oh, really? Yeah. He was pretty active on Twitter last night.
Starting point is 00:11:15 And I had Chris Saka on my podcast a while ago, like two, three months ago, who had made a prediction that at some point Cuban was going to run for president. I think he predicted 2024. And then the fact that he predicted that became a story for a couple of days. And then Cuban didn't really deny it, you know, and kind of like the attention for it. And it seemed like it's something he's probably thought about. Now, if he just said right now, I'm going for it. It's up to me.
Starting point is 00:11:45 I got to do this. I'll run as a third party, like leaning toward the Republican side. I don't know what happens. I think everybody's afraid to run because they don't want to take votes away from Hillary. Right. You get that whole with Cuban. You get the whole I'm funding my own campaign. I can't be bought.
Starting point is 00:12:01 People seem to like that. They get that whole thing with Trump that he does. So, yeah, that could work. I don't know. I don't know what to do here. I feel like as a writer on a late night comedy show, I already have a hedge with Trump because he provides a new gift to us every day. It's like the grandparents stop by every morning and shower us with presents. But I know what you're saying. That is amazing. You guys, I mean, maybe we shouldn't be so glib about it because it is the future of the country at stake. But you guys have gotten a year of material from this.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Oh, yeah. I remember being on the show, like even when Michael Jackson would do something crazy for like holding the baby out the window for like a week, we'd get material. We were so grateful that something like that happened. And you've had that for a year. Yeah, it's great. I,
Starting point is 00:12:48 I met Trump in December. He was on the show twice in the last year. He was on December. And I think, and in May or something, but in December, no secret service, nothing.
Starting point is 00:12:58 He was one of eight Republican nominees. Everyone thought it would fall to the right side. And, and nobody wanted to meet him. So I was like, Hey, I'll meet him. nominees. Everyone thought it would fall to the right side. And nobody wanted to meet him, so I was like, hey, I'll meet him. Two other writers, me and two other writers, we went down there. And he came out immediately, and
Starting point is 00:13:13 he's like, how many writers do you have? And I said, we have 13, 14 if we include you. He's like, oh, I do provide a lot of material. I was like, yeah, the most. That's all we're writing about all year long. But then when he was on in May, you couldn't even get to him. I was like, yeah, the most. That's all we're writing about all year long. But then when he was on in May, you couldn't even get to him. It was like, you know, first of all, there were protests outside our studio.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Is that true? But, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow. It's a mess. Like, I'm in Jacko's camp usually. I usually vote Republican.
Starting point is 00:13:40 But I can't have this much blood on my hands. Like, Trump doesn't listen to advisors. We already have enough bad guys who hate us. Trump will make people not looking for a fight like the Chinese emperor hate us. And Mexico will figure out how to make a nuclear weapon. It's going to piss off too many neutral, otherwise harmless countries. It's not good. Well, and especially for you, because you've had Jerry Jones running the Cowboys for the last three decades.
Starting point is 00:14:05 And now to have Jerry Jones also running the country in the form of Donald Trump. Right. I hadn't thought of that. Who would you rather have Jerry Jones or Trump? Oh, Jerry Jones. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:14:18 I think so too. Maybe Jerry Jones will run. He's just crazy. He's another one who's just crazy enough to do it. A Jerry Jones Cuban combo. He might be too young. He might one who's just crazy enough to do it. A Jerry Jones-Cuban combo. He might be too young. He might be too young. I don't know what we're looking at.
Starting point is 00:14:29 It's not like Jerry Jones could do anything worse. No. No. I don't know. We just had to edit something out that would have gotten both of us in trouble, but mostly me. Good. We'll get a thousand tweets. What was it about?
Starting point is 00:14:43 What happened? What did you say? me uh good we'll get a thousand tweets what was it about what happened so we should mention like it's it's not like you know it's not like hillary's a barrel laughs here no it's not it's not like she's the perfect candidate and in fact she she has her own slew of holes that if they if she was running against anyone else would have just been picked apart. This is unbelievable. I said on a pod last week that I felt like this was the American equivalent of when we watch a team like the Browns with DeLome and Seneca Wallace
Starting point is 00:15:15 trying to figure out who the QB is going to be in training camp, and you just know you're headed for 3-13. Interesting. I've never felt that way, uh, with an election. And I, and I feel that way this time. Right. Well,
Starting point is 00:15:29 yeah, I just, I mean, this is how screwed up the Republican party is like eight years ago. The whole, you know, the narrative was like, Oh,
Starting point is 00:15:37 Obama has no experience. He has no experience. So, so who do they put up against them? Uh, Sarah Palin, you know, she's one heartbeat away from being president.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Okay, they screwed up. Now, this year, Hillary's unlikable. So what do they have? We have Donald Trump up against. No one can get their shit together. And we're supposed to make money off of this? Do you want to talk about baseball quickly? Sure, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:03 You're met. Oh, you're happy about this one you like this one i know what you're gonna say you're uh you're metz great year last year feel good year awesome right young pitchers young staff everything's great now how you feeling uh you know i don't like assessment. His leg is bugging me. I think we're way back. If Familia blows two games, we're like 10 or 11 back, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:34 if he's anything less than stellar. And David Wright is obviously out. Harvey's falling apart. We weren't able to trade him to anyone. Apparently the rumors we heard about his drug use or whatever, who knows, still rumors I'm saying, you and I heard about it and the rest of the league did too. We weren't able to trade him away.
Starting point is 00:16:55 So I don't know. I mean, I think we're going to have to at best grab a wild card here and just enjoy Italian-American great catcher Mike Piazza's Hall of Fame induction. I think that's the best we could do at this point. It seems like you're like a game and a half back for the second wild card spot. Right. The Red Sox, I'm like shockingly optimistic about the Red Sox. Really?
Starting point is 00:17:22 Yeah, their offense, this is probably the best offense we've ever had in my entire life i think 2003 the year before we won the world series that offense was really great and and hit for power and got on base and was just fantastic and this offense actually might be better because it has speed and right as we're going into the dog days of summer here you know like last night they're just killing the twins and eventually you get into that deep bullpen where these guys are terrible coming out and they're just getting like these extra four run innings they're throwing on the seventh and eighth last night trevor may was in for the twins poppy comes up eighth inning we're
Starting point is 00:18:03 already up by like nine runs the whole whole crowd is chanting, Poppy, Poppy. And he just crushes one in the right field. The pitching seems like it's worse than ever. It's pretty bad. You guys are up six to one every game in the fifth inning, and it's still like even odds whether or not you win. And I saw you jinxed and then try to reverse jinx Pomerantz the other day. Well, he's one of those guys, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:27 I don't know who the Mets equivalent is, but these guys that you just watch them pitch, and it's just kind of fun, the rhythm they have, and they got all these different pitches, and they just seem like they're in command. Right. Especially when they have the awesome changeup. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:43 And it just was like, this is great this guy's gonna be a great fit and then the red sox had like this 50 minute inning he's just sitting there decomposing the dugout he came out he didn't get it out in the next inning i i think he'll be fine the question for me could win the division but you know how it gets in october i don't you just the pitching needs to hold up but maybe we should advise people of our division-winning parlay. Oh, yeah. We did this last week. The Red Sox to win the AL East, which was plus 180,
Starting point is 00:19:14 with the Astros to win the AL West, which was plus 200. They're now three and a half back. Yeah. I think we got plus 750 on that. Yeah, that was a pretty good bet. I really like this Astros team. They started out like 20 and 29 or something, and they probably have the most talent in the entire American team.
Starting point is 00:19:33 And Kegel's had a bunch of no decisions in his last six starts or something. They're just better than the Rangers, who should fold. And Fielder's out now too, right? It does feel – yeah, well, Fielder's out, which is actually probably a good thing for Texas because he's been in Albatross. Yeah, that's true. That's true.
Starting point is 00:19:49 It does seem like offense is going to win the World Series this year. Yeah. Usually it's like there was a little bit of a pitching and speed and defense kind of recipe, and this year it just seems like it's going to be bats. I don't know why. I keep looking ahead in October with David Price as my number one starter. Actually, I like David Price more than the Red Sox,
Starting point is 00:20:12 some of the other Red Sox fans. I think he's fine. I think he's had some bad luck. I still enjoy watching him. But the thought of him in the final four as our number one starter, there's just every time we go against anyone else, the other guy's probably going to be better than David Price.
Starting point is 00:20:28 That's the only part that really scares me. And also, can Ortiz hold up a whole season at age 40? He's having the best statistical season I think he's had. Has there ever been an example of this guy? You bet on him to slow down. It just doesn't happen. I know he doesn't have to play the field or anything, but it really is spectacular, the way
Starting point is 00:20:49 he's keeping it going. It's crazy. He's basically been pretty much around the same other than in 2009 and 2010, he had a couple early swoons because I think his wrist was hurt. For the most part, the production's been pretty much the same the entire time he's
Starting point is 00:21:06 been on the team. And he looks the same. It's not like he's gained weight. He has the same weird body he's had the entire time. Anything else you want to talk about? Listen, if we could parlay David Ortiz to win MVP and Dwayne The Rock Johnson to become
Starting point is 00:21:22 our next president, I suggest we do it. What did you think of the WWE draft? You know, I haven't, I didn't, my kids were talking to me about it. I didn't actually see a lot of it, but... Oh, it's tremendous. I know they split up some tag teams, right? It was tremendous. There were
Starting point is 00:21:37 some terrible picks. My son was way into it. He was exploding during some of the picks. Anzo and Cass went way too late. My son was upset about that. It was exploding during some of the picks. Enzo and Cass went way too late. My son was upset about that. It was the first time he's been upset by somebody falling in a draft. All of it was great. It was great.
Starting point is 00:21:52 He is so into Enzo and Cass. The thing I don't like about it is, like, five weeks from now, like, we need Cena to be on Raw. And then just everyone bleeds into the other one. Like, they don't say anything about it. It's a good point. It's a good point. Anything to plug? That's it.
Starting point is 00:22:08 Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11.35, and that's it, Monday through Friday on ABC. When are we going to make the annual bet that we always win, which is the Patriots to win the AFC East? When do you want to do that? Do you want to pick a day? Last year we had it at minus 140 before Brady's suspension was overturned. And that was
Starting point is 00:22:29 very, very easy. And this year it was minus 200. I said, let's wait. Maybe it'll go lower. It's minus 180 now. Maybe we do jump on it now. It's minus 180? I'm about three-quarters away through my research. And the Jets schedule is miserable,
Starting point is 00:22:47 and they don't even want to commit to a quarterback yet. I think the Patriots is the way to go. I don't know how to convince you. They've won like 13 of the last 14 or something. 12 of the last 13? And every year we stare at it and we decide what to do with it, and then it wins again. And FYI, I think Garoppolo's going to be half decent.
Starting point is 00:23:11 All he has to do is be half decent. Just hold the fort. They could lose that first game by two touchdowns to Arizona, and then everyone could squawk about how miserable it's going to be. But they'll turn it on after that. Let me flip that around for you. Are we sure Arizona is in the team that's going to be absolutely terrible this year? Absolutely terrible. The Palmer performance in the playoff game, how do we know he's even going to be passable?
Starting point is 00:23:37 What if that was it? What if that's a Jake Delon type thing? They made the biggest trade of the offseason. And I guess we're going to see immediately who paid off for it. Are you going to Oxnard to see the Cowboys? I'm going to say we're away. I'm on the East Coast that first week, but I'm going to try to make it down there. Roma.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Roma's optimistic. We've got a lot going on, Bill. We've got a lot to think about. A lot to think about. The Rock is president. Maybe we parlay with – we're betting the Olympics for sure. That starts in a couple weeks. We've got Usain Bolt on a few parlays.
Starting point is 00:24:10 A lot of good things happening. Maybe we just do the Pats to win the AFC East with Trump to win the presidency. We combine the two biggest scandals slash polarizing things that are going on in America right now. Put them together. I love it. Tom Brady's favorite candidate. All right, cuz. We'll come back in mid-August and tell America what we did. Thanks for coming on.
Starting point is 00:24:29 All right. I miss you. Good job by you, buddy. Good job by you. All right, quickly. We send flowers on birthdays, Mother's Day, certain holidays, and then the summer rolls around and we never think to do it. Well, guess what? The women in your life still love flowers. So surprise them right now.
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Starting point is 00:26:27 one of the writers on any given Wednesday, he was on this podcast before. He goes into internet deep dives, we call them. He does not sleep very much. The prime time of his internet surfing is usually in the 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. range, and he finds himself going down rabbit holes. The last time he was here, we found out that not only does, did he go down a rabbit hole of watching chiropractic correction videos. Um, but then after he talked about that, people were tweeting at him about Japanese chiropractic adjustments, which then sent him on a separate deep dive. So now Brandon's here to talk about his latest batch of, of deep dives. I've recently been getting into the German school of chiropractor.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Yes. Adjustments. How does that differ than, than Japan, the Japanese school? It's as you would think, very stern, lots of towels, lots of,
Starting point is 00:27:18 lots of towel work. That's the thing with Germany, no matter what's going on, there has to be a lot of towels yes um but uh yeah no I mean I get chiropractic videos sent to me dm to me all the time and yeah dm to you yeah people are dming me chiropractic videos it I appreciate it and there is a new one that I'd like to let people know about look up i forget the gentleman's name he's from uh houston i've watched his whole series look up just ring dinger chiropractic video it's a guy who does these uh he does this technique that no one else does where it's like
Starting point is 00:27:56 full traction but uh if you're into chiropractic videos i suggest you look up ring dinger and as we learned last time don't brag to kevin Sorbo that you love chiropractic adjustment videos. Cause he, he's very passionate about this. Yes. Okay. So what do you got this, this time around?
Starting point is 00:28:12 Um, okay. This starting out, um, Martin Shkreli, um, his YouTube page. And granted I,
Starting point is 00:28:23 you know, allegedly he did some stuff. Yeah. But he does these lessons on his YouTube page. Okay. He teaches, I was looking at, I was on it last night. He teaches these in-depth, two-hour-long chemistry lessons on acids and bases uh chemical kinetics i have no they only have like 2 000 views i have no idea who they're from i don't know if he feels bad and he's trying to make up for it he also teaches lessons on finance like can you remind people of martin scurrly
Starting point is 00:29:00 allegedly did martin scurrly i believe he's known as the pharma bro. And he's the guy who is in charge of a pharmaceutical company. And he raised the prices on really important drugs for people who had, I believe, HIV. Allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah. I have no idea. But he and he's he's and he also he's just sort of a weird he's turned into a weird youtube personality like he he bought that wu-tang album that where there was only one copy of it
Starting point is 00:29:32 and he is the only wu-tang album copy he has the only copy of this wu-tang album and um and now he's giving advice on youtube for weird things well Well, weird things, but it's fascinating. And as someone who like went to school as a teacher, the guy is a talented teacher. He can, he can, he's really good at think alouds. Like he's good at sort of talking about like, well, here's what some people would do. And you know, this is what I would do. I'd have no idea what he's talking about, but the fact that he's that into, he can talk to nobody for two hours about chemistry is absolutely fascinating. And it sounds like somebody that could potentially lead a cult.
Starting point is 00:30:15 I think somebody who would have been on 90210 for five episodes and gotten Kelly Taylor roped into some sort of cult that Brandon would have to savor. I could see him, you know, if he wanted to get into acting, I could see him, you know, being on a show like that because he definitely could be a villain. Like a 2 a.m. infomercial kind of career maybe? Like Tom Vu? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:39 You remember Tom Vu, right? Are you too young? I think I'm too young. What did he do? He's a real estate guy infomercials he would he would yell at people like if they wanted fancy cars and beautiful women he'd be surrounded by fancy cars and beautiful women they'd be like come take my seminar oh well yeah you miss you can that be your next deep dive is tom vu okay tom vu i'll send you some tom vu
Starting point is 00:31:00 there's this one guy do you go on world starStarHipHop at all? Come on. Who are you talking to? Well, do you know the guy who does the infomercials on WorldStarHipHop about his private jet and he hangs out with rappers? Yeah. That guy. I don't even know what he's selling. If it's real estate, stocks.
Starting point is 00:31:27 I have no idea what his hustle is. Gambling picks? Yeah, I have absolutely zero. But it's just all like, here's me hanging out with Redman. Here's my jet. And it's always the shot of him walking down to the mailbox and opening up big checks maybe we should film one of those for the show because i could use the pictures of me with celebrities that we've had on the show oh here's me with aaron rogers here's me with billionaire mark cuban yeah no i mean the
Starting point is 00:31:58 uh yeah we have some good you you would have some good ones. Good celebrity pictures. All right, what other deep dives do you have? Oh, well, you sent me the deep dive of the matches that turn into fights. Wrestling shoots. Wrestling shoots. I knew you would go down the rabbit hole with that. The famous one was Antonio Inoki and the fat guy whose name I can't remember. The Great Antonio. Great Antonio. And the Great Antonio stopped selling Antonio Inoki
Starting point is 00:32:25 and then hit him really hard with an elbow and Inoki did not like it and just beat the living hell out of him. And they were not wrestling. It's amazing, right? It's one of the best clips on YouTube. I've watched it once a week. It's
Starting point is 00:32:43 fantastic. I found some other ones that i that i the one you sent me a really comprehensive list of like the the great the great ones i got most of those from david shoemaker from the ringer who's a wrestling shoot historian oh wow those yeah that's a a mask man the lex lugi yeah lex luger bruiser brody there's some good ones the um one that i found uh that i really liked was um hardcore holly when he was uh he came into remember when they had that reality show called tough enough yeah and he came on and i guess he was an instructor the year before and he came on and he just picked this guy the youtube video doesn't say what his name is he's a contestant and he beats the crap out of him and since the guy's on on the uh show he can't really do anything and he's learning how to wrestle
Starting point is 00:33:32 yeah but look up hardcore holly tough enough was he doing it to prove a point or did the guy insult him in some way just to prove a point that's why he was so hardcore yeah a hardcore holly i am obsessed with like his shoot interviews because he's just this like angry guy from north carolina or wherever yeah and um you know i grew up watching him not not the greatest wrestler but like he's a veteran worker worker worker super into like, the ethics of wrestling. Like, what's right and wrong and how to work the business. But look up Hardcore. I mean, he's and then after that, because, you know, you go on a YouTube deep dive and then you start getting into other offshoots of it.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Yeah. Like, then I watched because Al Snow was the coach that season. Then I watched a bunch of interviews where Al Snow talked about what happened and how he didn't agree with what Hardcore Holly did. Oh. So it's like- Some philosophical differences.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Yeah, that's the beautiful thing about YouTube is that you start out and then you get into people talking about what happened and then you get into people responding to that. And then also i started you know um the great susuki versus the dirt bike kid that was another great it's a japanese match it's a wrestling shoot great wrestling shoot uh lots of kicks yeah when they get mad they start kicking yeah in the japanese shoots yeah and uh because they just take
Starting point is 00:35:05 out somebody's legs knock them down then they beat them up yeah it just kicks on the ground and dirt bike kid um weird gimmick he looks to be like uh i'm always fascinated with like american americans who go abroad and are really famous there i've never heard of dirt bike kid in the united states he yeah looks to be american and uh he's dressed like a dirt but like a dirt biker well he's the dirt bike kid that's just it's a strange gimmick because i i mean i don't know maybe he was inspired by kelly leake and bad news bears go to japan maybe you saw the success that happened. I don't know. Um, but those are, Oh,
Starting point is 00:35:46 and then the, my third one that I, of the third shoot, third shoot, third shoot, deep dive. This one's really sad. I,
Starting point is 00:35:53 you probably saw this one and left it off the list, which is hacksaw Jim Duggan versus doink the clown and like a high school gymnasium. Oh, I don't know about this one. This one happens. They don't actually fight they're just it's just they're just screaming at each other and they're throwing punches it's they're both 50 pounds overweight oh no the crowd is maybe i think i've seen a ringer meetings with
Starting point is 00:36:20 more people um doink the clown his makeup looks like he put it on with no mirror so this is like the wrestler with mickey rourke of wrestling shoots exactly and but they're but they're screaming at each other and they're going the interesting thing is like i put like i poke like you know like they're doing the the the scissor the the v yeah instead of throwing punches they're throwing like eye pokes. It seems like a weird. Wow. A lot of bad blood between hacks on doink.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Um, and then, uh, last, Oh, this one, uh, keeping on the wrestling theme,
Starting point is 00:36:56 uh, look up WWE championship belt, shaving cream trick. Um, so these wrestling fans, they get these WWE replica belts, and they don't like the fact that when you put it, it doesn't go, like, the flap doesn't go over the shoulder. Yeah. Like, it sort of...
Starting point is 00:37:21 Like with a real belt. Yeah, like with a real belt. So they do this thing where they get the belt, they take out, they get the replica belt, they take off the screws and then they put shaving cream and they spend like three hours with a hairdryer getting the shaving cream to, to seep in.
Starting point is 00:37:37 For what reason? So that the, the flap goes over just so that they can have the belt go over their shoulder. Like, so that the, the the belt go over their shoulder like so that the let the the fake leather and these are grown men these are grown men and there's one that you that everyone if you're if this at all interests you and it should his name is k at k-a-t-a-l-u-t-i-o-n a l u t i o n catolution it's wwe shaving uh championship belt shaving cream trick this guy i'm obsessed with him and he's he's so detail oriented and it's over something that i could care less about i mean if you have a belt cool but like to then do mod modifications whether to
Starting point is 00:38:22 tell my son about this because he's like the eight-year-old internet deep dives and this could ruin his life for a weekend watching this. Hey, last time you were on, you talked about how you went on the OJ tour. Yeah. It inspired my wife to go on the OJ tour with a friend. Oh, wow. On a Sunday night. And she came home and she was all boozed up. And I don't know what
Starting point is 00:38:46 the hell happens on these OJ tours. I don't know if they snuck wine in or what happened, but she, she was both disappointed and enthralled, which I think is what everyone's reaction is after they do the OJ tour. Yeah. I mean, it's when you go home from an OJ tour, I think if you look in the mirror and you say like, did I really just go on an OJ? Did I really just, you know, say, Oh wow,
Starting point is 00:39:11 this is, this is where OJ probably parked. Yeah. Cause they show that. Yeah. So that's probably why she got, got boozed up. It's,
Starting point is 00:39:20 it's a, it's a lot of looking in the mirror afterwards. Um, yeah. I mean, I'm, I'm fascinated with anything. Like, I don't know if I mentioned this last. I mean, I went to the parking lot from Serial, the Best Buy parking lot.
Starting point is 00:39:37 You didn't mention that last time. You did? Yeah. Where is it? It's in Maryland. You live in California. I know. I was in Maryland, and it it was a two hour drive from where I was. But I was like, I have I have to go. And my my wife was like, we're not going to that. And I was like, no, we're going. And I'm walking around and there was a security guard and he saw me and he knew exactly what I was.
Starting point is 00:40:07 He was just like, oh, God, another weird white guy trying to crack the case. Between 30 and 50. Yeah. And I was even like, let's throw cereal on. Let's just, maybe we can pick up some. I was talking to Tarynaryn who works in the office. Like, I mean, my dream is to crack a case. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:31 You know, like I would love to solve a mystery. An unsolvable mystery. Yeah. I mean, it's a personal, that's on my, I mean, I don't believe in bucket lists, but if I did cracking a murder case out of nowhere, I also just want, I want to do it on my i mean i don't believe in bucket lists but if i did cracking a murder case out of nowhere i also just want i want to do it on my own i want to find you know i wish i would just go into that parking lot oh my god it's jay's business card or you know whatever um and then become aren't there some old california like semi serial killer cases from the 70s and 80s that are still open
Starting point is 00:41:05 well there's there were a couple well the there's a lot of people who theorize on the Zodiac killer that one has never been soft yeah it ended up being a really weird David Fincher movie that I still don't know how I feel about it yeah I'll put it I'll put that movie on and yeah it it's that's just a lot of mustaches and sideburns. And Jake Gyllenhaal is playing the same kind of slightly brain-damaged character he plays in Southpaw. I'm not positive why he went that route. Yeah, you're right. You'd think a guy who drew cartoons would be a little bit more with it.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Yeah, totally. Yeah. Totally. Yeah, the Zodiac's a good one. Most of the serial killer things have been, did you read the Bill James book about serial killers? No, I haven't. Oh, no. Are you serious? I need to.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Oh, my God. You'd read that in like three hours. It's incredible. He spent like 10 years working on it. I'm a huge serial killer guy. But when you tell people that and you're like sort of, I mean, people don't know me, but like, you know, I have a weird energy. Like it's a little aloof and, you know, I'm not like gregarious like I'd like to be. But when you tell people, oh, I'm really into serial killers, then people are just like, oh, he is a serial killer.
Starting point is 00:42:28 Right. But an interesting thing, the town I grew up in had, it's the only town ever that had two serial killers going at the same time. Chico? No, Santa Cruz, California. Oh, Santa Cruz. Yeah, yeah. You had two different serial killers?
Starting point is 00:42:45 In the 70s. Competitive serial killers. Wow. And my mom was like, you know, going to college and both of them were like picking up women hitchhikers. And she was hitchhiking during that time. And I asked her, I said, you know, there's two active serial killers. And she said, well, you know, in the 70ies, you know, people, that's what people did.
Starting point is 00:43:08 They hitchhiked. Right. You just, you buck the odds. Yeah. But they arrested them both and they put them both in like the, the, the, the county jail and they talked to each other, the two serial killers. And they said, one of the guys mentioned, oh, you took all my good places for body dumping oh yeah that that gets weird yeah so but um i can see how that would have bothered him but the uh that's the only
Starting point is 00:43:33 the only time that's ever happened and then um you missed see the 70s all of a sudden they were they tried to build in through the media this big fear of hitchhiking because like my dad my dad went to college at holy cross where i went in worcester and every weekend because he was going to an all-male school he would hitchhike from worcester to boston to because that's where all the colleges with the girls were and then he met my mom at boston college and then they would hitchhike back and forth to see each other and then right around 1974 75 all the psychos were like, wow, what a great way to kill people. I'll just pick up hitchhikers.
Starting point is 00:44:09 And then there was this like four year run of just hitchhikers just getting, you know, wiped out before everybody was like. So all that the reason I'm saying this is I was like eight. ABC had maybe I was nine. ABC had a TV movie called Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker with Charlene Tilton from Dallas. And it was about this guy in a van who was just wiping out hitchhikers. And it was one of the three scariest movies of my childhood. And I left the movie like I will never hitchhike ever in my life. Nobody will ever get me to do this.
Starting point is 00:44:40 You never did it? No. No. Yeah. It's always strange like um when i go home in santa cruz sometimes there's a guy doing it uh or like two and i always wonder like i always just want to pick i've never picked one up i've always just thought like maybe that could be one of your deep dives is just start picking up hitchhikers that would make a great podcast
Starting point is 00:45:02 where you just pick up a hitchhiker and then you just record them for wherever they want to go. Like comedians getting in cars with coffee. It's just hitchhikers. Yeah, it's the saddest version of that. Comedians picking up hitchhikers in Honda Civics. Well, you're a comedian, so it's technically. Well, I think we just created a new YouTube series. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:21 I just wanted to fend your comment about how you're a serial serial killer guy because i am too i love reading about serial killers and how they caught them and i like watching documentaries about it and i've even said to people like i thought the most interesting serial killer for me was ted bundy like just the start to finish of the Ted Bundy arc is the because he actually first of all he represented himself and then second
Starting point is 00:45:51 he escaped and when he escaped it wasn't like he disappeared I mean this is terrible but he escaped and was like I'm out I get to kill some more people
Starting point is 00:46:00 and just immediately went on another spree and they caught him again. They'd never made the right Ted Bundy movie. Really? Mark Harmon was in one called The Deliberate Stranger. Did you see that one? No, I got to see that.
Starting point is 00:46:15 It's good. It's two parts. He was handsome like Ted Bundy was. And it's creepy, but it doesn't go there. For me, it's like instead of Zodiac, I would have made a Ted Bundy movie. I just think he brought, I thought he brought more to the table as a serial killer.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Did you see the HBO documentary on the Grim Sleeper? I've seen all the HBO documentaries they've ever done about serial killers or autopsies. That one, Tales from the Grim Sleeper, the Nick Denton one about the serial killer in South Central is absolutely fascinating. And to me, it's a great companion piece if you hold it up with the Netflix Making a Murderer. There's a lot of similarities between those two guys.
Starting point is 00:47:01 They both lived on like junkyards they both right um they were both like involved with like a boy as an accomplice um allegedly um but yeah no i i absolutely i mean i would be down for a ted bundy movie i don't know ted bundy's the clown right no who's the ted bundy was the law student who would pick up female hitchhikers and they'd never he didn't seem like a serial killer which was kind of his move he used a gun right i i forget what he did yeah i think he did all kinds of stuff okay by the way not a great guy i don't mean to glorify ted bundy in any way bad guy bad person totally i it's just he was most of the serial killers follow a certain prototype
Starting point is 00:47:46 and he's like just outside he's he's operating in a different playing field with the stuff he did most of them are like just creepy white loners yeah is the move for them it's a weird it's a weird thing because it's like if you're it i think it's sort of like the martin screlly like youtube page and the like a lot of times i'll get interested in something and people will think a lot of people if they get interested in something they have to like they like it yeah i don't like like these things but sometimes i'm just fascinated by it no it's the mystery of it about the arc of them trying to catch this person who's doing really terrible things and then most of the serial killers at some point they're they're not just satisfied by the killing part they it becomes like
Starting point is 00:48:32 them taunting the police or the general public they they feel like they have to do something they it can't just be the killing and the ones that that, like the Zodiac guy, part of the charm for him was to send these weird, crazy letters to the police. But there's not a lot out there that just are like, I'm good with the murders. That's it. I don't need any of the glory of what I'm doing. Just the murders are what gets me going. There's this extra part that they like, and that's usually what brings it down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:07 You know what's a big city for a serial killer? Sacramento. Not surprised. They've had a real long history. Seattle's another one. Yeah. Rain. Boston had the Boston Strangler.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Yes. That's their signature person. Boston people are too scary to try at first, serial killer. They would take it too personally. Yeah, that would be a hard place. It's a hard place. Yeah, you want to go somewhere outside the East Coast, I think. Yeah, Seattle, people are depressed.
Starting point is 00:49:43 It's raining all the time, yeah. They're listening to Soundgarden. I think. Yeah. Seattle people are depressed. It's raining all the time. Yeah. Let's see. They're listening to sound garden. Um, Hey, we have to go. Okay. Uh,
Starting point is 00:49:51 all right. So next time, next, next, like a few weeks from now, work on some new deep dives, but can you read the bill James book? I will read it.
Starting point is 00:50:00 Please. Yes. All right. I'd like to have a whole serial killers conversation with you. It would be my pleasure because because i have a lot of thoughts i mean this is the tip of the iceberg i'm so glad i have somebody else in my life who who has but the fact that you haven't read the bill james book's unbelievable to me i mean like i said it's just crazy i also don't want to get like divorced like if i like that's a crazy. I also don't want to get like divorced. Like if I like, that's a good point. I have to take the dust jacket off of that.
Starting point is 00:50:28 And you know, especially after you want a bang bro story, like it's the fact that you're still married now, you should probably enjoy it. Brendan Lynch, where can we follow you on Twitter? At Brendanzig, B-R-E-N-D-A-N-Z-I-G. All right. Thanks for coming on. Thank you. Quick break to talk about our old friends at MeUndies.
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Starting point is 00:51:52 All right, from serial killers back to the 2016 Republican convention. Jacko was on earlier in the week. We just talked, you missed it, but we talked serial killers with Brendan Lynch, writer for my show. So now let's- Oh, excellent. Okay. Seems like a- It's not that far of a segue to the 2016 election. Not that far of a segue. I was worried about you last night on Twitter. I really thought something terrible was going to happen, and I was going to have to defend you publicly today, almost like Robert Kardashian during that post-OJ Nicole, where just, I'm going to stand by my friend, but I'm deeply troubled.
Starting point is 00:52:22 I know something terrible just happened, but he's still my friend, damn it. But it didn't happen, so thanks for saving me from that. No, no problem. I didn't want you to have to drive down the freeway in a white Bronco. This is BS. You know who this is. I would have. I totally would have for you, Jacko. I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:52:39 So what were your impressions after last night? Well, I watched a lot more of it than I ever expected to. And part of the reason for that was I was flipping the channels, and I must have come across one of the channels, obviously, that was showing the convention. And I'm like, is that Fran Tarkenton? And I put it on, and sure enough, it was Fran Tarkenton. Of all people addressing the convention on the final night of, you know,
Starting point is 00:53:05 which you would think you would save like your best speakers for or highest profile names. And somehow Fran Tarkenton got the invite there. Yeah. So I pretty much watched all of it from that point on. So I watched him and then they had Peter Thiel, who was the guy that founded PayPal. And, you know, he's not a very good speaker, but he was fine, I guess. And then they had Trump's buddy, who's some other billionaire real estate investor, real estate mogul or whatever,
Starting point is 00:53:32 this bald guy. And he took the mic and he did the walk around, which I knew was going to be a mess, and it was. He had no teleprompter, and it was just a stream of consciousness about Trump. And basically, it was like he was trying to sell me something. You know, it was like a Wolf of Wall Street deal. I thought it was like more of a best man speech. Yeah, there you go. It was kind of like that. Let me tell you something about Donald, you know.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Yeah. Right. And it had like no theme. I guess it was trying to humanize Trump to show that he's not a complete lunatic. That's what best man speeches are. What's that? That's the same philosophy of a best man speech. You try to prove to the public that the person's not a lunatic.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Right. So it was like allegedly trying to humanize Trump. And, you know, his one anecdote, basically, or one of his anecdotes, the main one was, you know, he flew with Trump in a helicopter and they went to go see some Tyson fight. I forget if it was in Vegas or Atlantic City. You know, he signed a program for the doorman. I was like, boy, what a guy. What a charitable fellow, you know. It was such so great.
Starting point is 00:54:37 And then they had, you know, Ivanka. She's, you know, very lovely and well-spoken. I liked how the wind was blowing her hair. That was a nice touch, like she was shooting a cover shoot for Vogue or something while giving the speech. And then being a glutton for punishment or a masochist or something, I stuck it out for old Big Don's hour-and-a-half rant where he was just screaming and red-faced. Sweaty. As I said on Twitter, I turned down the TV volume like three different times, and he only seemed to get louder.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Yeah. Yeah, it is weird when you meet him. Between the screaming and the heavy breathing. Yeah. And he got super sweaty. Yeah. Just, I mean, maybe that's where the country is, you know? Maybe the country is angry and, you know, like a Howard Beale deal, we're mad as hell, we're not going to take it anymore, we're going to take it all back. And I can't really see that ranting, screaming, appealing to traditional swing voters of suburban women outside of Philadelphia or outside some places in Ohio or people that decide these elections.
Starting point is 00:55:37 I just can't see that really appealing to people that he needs to appeal to. It already appeals to his base, which got him the nomination. So, you know, kudos to him. But I'm not sure that that does anything for him in the general election. It's interesting to hear somebody talk about everything they're going to fix. Yeah. But he basically, he just listed everything and then how he was going to fix it. That was the speech for an hour. I'm going to fix this.
Starting point is 00:56:04 And it wasn't even really he was going to fix it. It's just speech for an hour. I'm going to fix this. And it wasn't even really he was going to fix it. It's just I'm Trump and only I can fix. Right. And so to go along with that, to buy into that, you have to think that he's this wonderful fixer. And they had this wonderful glossy video like they always have last night. Yeah. I was thinking to myself, it would be nice if maybe somebody giving a testimonial to
Starting point is 00:56:23 him either wasn't on his payroll or a blood relative of his, but be that as it may. So everything was like all these wonderful successes, and he rebuilt New York and Manhattan and the ice rink and yada yada. How about Atlantic City? How about the Taj Mahal where you went bankrupt four different times in the casino business? How about Trump steak and Trump vodka and any other of the myriad failures that he's had? USFL. The USFL, which he personally is single-handedly responsible for destroying, right? Now, he hasn't had a lot of success. The guy has failed and failed and failed.
Starting point is 00:56:56 And his success, such as it is, is because he became fodder for the tabloids in New York, and he became a big name. And he was able to market his name. So he slaps his name on these hotels and golf courses, and I guess that appeals to the same people that vote for him or has some appeal that people want to go to a Trump property. But those aren't in any way really his success. His success is being fodder for the tabloids with affairs and being a celebrity and having some half-assed TV show. The notion that he's this wonderful thinker and builder and doer. I mean, give me a freaking break.
Starting point is 00:57:30 I think what's interesting is his plan was just to talk in big generalizations about everything he was going to fix. But really, the theme of the week was Hillary sucks, don't vote for Hillary. Right. Well, because the only thing he has going in the party and all these people that come out like, you know, Stepford Wives are making a hostage video and saying, you know, you must vote for Trump because Hillary is awful or because of the Supreme Court. But there's never an affirmative case for Trump because anybody with half a brain can't make an affirmative case
Starting point is 00:57:58 for Trump. So if you're a Republican and you have decided to basically castrate yourself and pledge fealty to Trump, the only reasons that you can give in response to reporters' questions, you disagree with Trump on this, this, this, and this. He said this, this, and this. Well, he's not Hillary. We've got to beat Hillary, Supreme Court. Right. Which is another enormous leap of faith because you're assuming Trump, who's donated to Hillary, has been basically a lifelong Democrat. He's flipped parties back and forth for the past 30 years. You're really taking a massive leap of faith that he's really a Republican now and he's
Starting point is 00:58:31 going to appoint somebody to the Supreme Court who you find acceptable, which is at best a 50-50 proposition. And yet Michael Moore said on Marsha two days ago that he thought Trump was going to win the whole thing. I mean, you know, Michael Moore, I'm sure he was for Bernie Sanders, and Hillary's not left enough for him. So part of that is probably— Strategic? Well, you know, what's that? Probably a little strategic by him?
Starting point is 00:58:57 I think so. And just to say, like, you know, Hillary's too corporate and too Wall Street, and, you know, he and maybe others on the far left of the Democratic Party, he's alleging they're going to stay home and Trump could sneak in through celebrity. But, I mean, Trump has basically no money, no campaign money. And I don't, you know, he keeps pledging, you know, he waived $47 million in loans, basically for aircraft fuel, I think, because he's using his own plane to fly all over the place. So he did loan $47 million. But I mean, if you look at terms of the TV ads, Hillary was outspending him something like literally $20 million to nothing last month
Starting point is 00:59:34 in swing state advertising. And he seems to have this theory that he's just such a celebrity that he can just like go on Fox News and have these occasional rants and press conferences. And that's all like the publicity he needs. Meanwhile, Hillary is able to craft her message in the way that she wants, present herself in the best light through commercials and messaging and everything else, all the traditional aspects of a campaign. So I don't know how he wins by ranting the same thing that attracted his base, having no money or campaign infrastructure. But I guess stranger things have happened. And he left out, like, you know, if you're going to take him at face value of what he said in the speech last night, if you ignore how crazy he looked and all that stuff.
Starting point is 01:00:14 And he's basically like, I'm Donald Trump. I know how to appoint the best people. I'm going to find this person. We're going to fix this. I'm going to get the best people for that. And it's like, well, we've just watched you run one of the most crazy campaigns that's ever run and people are quitting. And the first lady's speech was picked a portion from the last first lady's speech. You had all these things. Yeah, I'm going to hire the best people.
Starting point is 01:00:42 All of the indications for the last nine months are you have no idea how to hire the best people. Right, and he hires the Corey Lewandowskis of the world and all this backbiting and infighting. He's responsible ultimately, right? He's the guy with his, you know, he's behind the desk. He's making all the decisions. He hires speechwriters that openly plagiarize from Michelle Obama's speech in 2008 and figure nobody's going to figure that out. He hires people who vet Ted Cruz's speech and let Ted Cruz go on stage and give a speech that is not an explicit endorsement of the candidate. These are his best people.
Starting point is 01:01:17 These are the best people, and it should be easy to hire people for a campaign. And yet he's going to hire cabinet-level officials or government functionaries or generals and they're going to be the best ones? Come on. I realized what was going on last night because when he brought his family out at the end, I somehow didn't even know that Trump had a 10-year-old son. When they brought him out, he's exactly the same age as Damien Omen. And I think that's where this is the real-life Damien Omen. And I think that's where this is. This is the real life Damien Omen. It's happening.
Starting point is 01:01:47 This is, we are now, we don't realize we're all filming the next Damien Omen movie. And this is what Damien's last revenge was. No, I'm kidding. I don't mean to make fun of 10-year-olds. Barron Trump. If you think like, it would be a great Damien Omen plot, right?
Starting point is 01:01:58 For the next movie. Oh, yeah. Actually, I think this was a Damien Omen plot. Isn't this Damien Omen 3? There is one where he runs for president and becomes president. Yeah, with Sam Neill. I think maybe that's what's – maybe Trump's Sam Neill. Well, the amazing thing is today Trump came out.
Starting point is 01:02:16 So everybody last night is like, OK, Trump gave a serviceable speech, I guess, trying to put the best light on it. Maybe it'll sell to people and maybe people are angry and maybe they'll go for it. And this is the big pivot to being, people can envision him being the president. And then today he comes out and gives a press conference and he relitigates the whole Ted Cruz's father was involved in JFK's assassination. I mean, you can't make it up. Mike Pence, poor Mike Pence is standing there with the Chris Christie bemused, shocked look
Starting point is 01:02:44 on his face, like wondering if the American flag behind him is strong enough to hang himself with. It's just unbelievable. Mike Pence literally looks like a crash test dummy at this point. You just put the crash test dummy helmet on him and he could just sit there like an actual dummy. It's not going to get any better for him because Trump will say some complete lunacy every other day. And they're going to go to Mike Pence and say, do you think Ted Cruz's father was involved
Starting point is 01:03:12 in the JFK assassination? You can't say he wasn't. Prove to me he wasn't. What did you think of what Ted Cruz did? Intriguing power play on Wednesday night. I actually loved it. I didn't watch it, but I was reading it on Twitter. You know, all these guys that ran against him,
Starting point is 01:03:30 like the guys I liked best, Rubio and Walker, who I had hoped for, and they both rolled over like dogs. Like, it just so depressed me. No principle, no backbone whatsoever. And guys I didn't really like, like Jeb Bush and John Kasich actually showed backbone and wouldn't kiss his ring and wouldn't kneel to him, which was fantastic. And then they're like, well, Cruz is going to, you know, Cruz was playing a game the whole time because last year in the fall, he was trying to cozy up to Trump. And he figured eventually Trump will be seen as the buffoon that he is. And if I don't explicitly bash him, I will inherit his voters. So he was trying to be cute and rub up against Trump to a degree to get his voters. And then things got ugly and Trump was still viable.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Cruz turned against him and then it got into a blood feud between them. So when I saw Cruz was going to speak at the convention, you always figure if the guy's going to speak at the convention, here's where he kneels and kisses Trump's ring. Instead, he got up and what was crazy is all he going to speak at the convention. Here's where he kneels and kisses Trump's ring. And instead he got up. And what was crazy is all he said was, vote your conscience. Now, he didn't say vote Trump, but he also didn't say don't vote for Trump. He's like, vote your conscience. And if you believe in the Constitution and constitutional conservatism, liberty, limited government, et cetera, vote who you think is right. And the Trump people knew that that was not their guy.
Starting point is 01:04:44 And they started to boo him. I think this guy, Paul Manafort, who's Trump's campaign manager now, like whipped them up to boo him. And so it turned into a thing that they could have just said, you know, they could have just gone along and clap politely. And instead they whip up everybody to boo and it becomes a huge story. It's another way Trump hires the best people who explicitly like turn a, you know, a small thing and a small brush fire into like a forest fire. So then it became a huge thing. And then, you know, now Cruz is a hero because he's standing on principle. And, you know, when this thing implodes November 9th, he's going to be one of the few guys left standing that said, hey, you know, I didn't have the stink of Trump all over me.
Starting point is 01:05:21 Yeah, it was very smart. Yeah, it's really the move that all of these guys should have made. His bet is that Trump loses big. Yeah. And after Trump, that there's no more Trumpism, that the party was like, we went crazy and now we want to forget that ever happened. Yeah, let's heal. And let's just move forward. And then Cruz will be like, hey, I'm your guy.
Starting point is 01:05:41 I don't have the stink of Trumpism on me. Even though to a degree he does because he played footsie with him for a while. But in the end, he did the right thing. Meanwhile, Chris Christie has the stink, I think. He literally has the stink. Heavy, heavy, heavy stench. Yes. Guys like Christie and Newt Gingrich and these other people that just disgust me.
Starting point is 01:06:03 So, in fairness, next week is the Democratic Convention. Yes. And I think you should come on next Friday and give your take on that. All right. Isn't that fair? I'll force myself to watch that one. If I made it through this one, I can make it through that one, because I don't have any love invested in that one.
Starting point is 01:06:24 I'm excited for Hillary Clinton to talk like this! And in the future! It's always been a criticism that she has a tendency to scream and be a little screechy. But when Trump is up there screaming for an hour and a half, literally at top decibel, then there's yet one more argument against her that he's taken away. Not that it's really an argument. You don't want to hear her for four years, but you don't want to hear him for four years either. And all she has to do is say, look,
Starting point is 01:06:52 I'm not the devil. I was portrayed as the devil last week. Look at me. I'm not the devil. Here's my grandchild. I'm a sane person. I'm a crook, but I'm sane. People might be like, yeah, it's tough times, but do we really trust this lunatic with his finger on the nuclear trigger?
Starting point is 01:07:10 Yeah. Well, I'm excited for it. I'm excited for next week. You're right. It can't, it can't be much different than what Trump did. It'll be a great debate when they're both screaming at each other. But then, you know, she's going to get under his skin and he's going to be like, you killed Vince Foster. And then it's really going to be fantastic. That is true. The first debate, because she's very good at debates. Right.
Starting point is 01:07:37 She has much more experience. Oh, my God. If she starts pushing his buttons. Yeah. Well, I was thinking today when he goes out again and does the thing about Ted Cruz's father maybe killed JFK, which just to say it is so asinine. But I was like, imagine if Cruz last night right before Trump's speech, he texted him and he's like, you don't have the balls to mention me.
Starting point is 01:07:57 Trump would have come out and knocked over the teleprompter and done an hour and a half on Ted Cruz. Then the Johnny Cochran? You've got mouse balls. Exactly. You won't mention me in an event. You won't, right. The F. Lee Bailey, you won't try on the glove. That's right.
Starting point is 01:08:13 That's what Cruz should have done last night. If he really wanted to save the party and potentially the country, he should have texted Donald and be like, Don, if you had any balls, you'd go after me. He probably tried they probably had to keep Trump's phone away from him so he couldn't get it
Starting point is 01:08:28 oh there's no question they hid his phone Ben Simmons wandered by the TV last night my son and his only comment on the convention was was that guy's orange
Starting point is 01:08:37 and then he walked away which I thought really summed it up in a lot of different ways pretty much yes Trump's his own minority he's a minority of one he's orange
Starting point is 01:08:44 that's right Jacko we'll talk to you in a week thanks for ways. Trump's his own minority. He's a minority of one. He's orange. Jacko, we'll talk to you in a week. Thanks for coming on as always. Anytime. See you, buddy. Bye-bye. Alright, thanks to 5-4 Club. Remember, they will provide you with stylish clothes every month. Go to 5-4 Club before the end of July and use code BS for 50% off your first two months. That is $60 for $240
Starting point is 01:09:02 worth of clothing. F-I-V-E-F-O-U-R club.com. Code BS. And thanks to books.com for reminding me to send gorgeous flowers to my wife this month, which I'm going to do. Books prices start at just $40. No up charges or extra fees. And free delivery when you register with the books.
Starting point is 01:09:21 Save 20% at books.com with promo code Bill. That is B-O-U- at books.com with promo code bill. That is B O U Q S.com promo code bill. Don't forget about Cleveland week on the ringer.com. It's wrapping up today. Don't forget to check out our other seven podcast feeds on the ringer podcast network. Don't forget my new HBO show. Any given Wednesday returns on July 27th at 10 PM on HBO.
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