The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 128: Week 4 NFL Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: September 29, 2016

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons brings on Cousin Sal to guess the lines for Week 4. Topics include: Carson Wentz's big week (5:00), Vin Scully's farewell (8:30), the struggling Bengals (17:00), Matt...hew Stafford's garbage-time magnificence (24:00), Tom Brady's vacation (28:00), the top-tier teams (36:00), Mike Mularkey's coaching record (41:41), Chargers-Saints (49:30), the stout Minnesota defense (56:00), and Ryder Cup best bets (1:01:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode of the BS Podcast is brought to you by SeatGeek, our presenting sponsor and the only fan-friendly app for buying and selling tickets for sports and music. It's October. There's baseball, hockey, basketball, NFL, and college football. You need SeatGeek. Drop your old ticket app, use one bill for 2016, buy tickets, and enter stadiums on your phone. Download the free SeatGeek app or go to SeatGeek.com.
Starting point is 00:00:23 We are also brought to you by Sling TV, the best way to watch live TV on your turf. For just $20 a month, stream more than 20 live channels, including ESPN, TNT, and CNN. No installation, no extra gear, no annual contracts, just an internet connection. Start watching for seven days free at Sling.com. Bill Simmons gets Sling TV on your favorite device. Restrictions do apply. Don't forget about any given Wednesday. That's my HBO show.
Starting point is 00:00:49 We had Abby Wambach and Charlamagne this week. It was a good one. Watch the re-airs on HBO, HBO Go, or HBO On Demand, another new show coming next Wednesday. Michael Rapaport might be involved. Don't tell anyone. For great reads in sports, pop culture, tech, and politics, I hope you're checking out TheRinger.com.
Starting point is 00:01:06 And I hope you subscribe to our new podcast, Ringer University, which covers college football and college hoops. Chris Vernon makes his debut this Friday. Cousin Sal is going to make his re-debut right now. Let's go. Yeah. Clear enough for you. All right.
Starting point is 00:01:26 All right. We're taping this on a Wednesday at 5 o'clock p.m. L.A. time. So if there's any more massive injuries like J.J. Watt just getting knocked out for the entire season, don't blame us. Unbelievable. What is a terrible five days for the Texans? They played your juggernaut team without a quarterback. They sure did. Proved that they can't compete long
Starting point is 00:01:50 run with the AFC's best. And then just a few days later, now it seems that they can't even win their miserable division. I don't even know what's going to happen there. Or can they? Here's my question. Is eight wins enough to win the AFC South?
Starting point is 00:02:05 It might be, right? By three, it might be enough. I don't like any of these other teams. It would be easy to discount the Titans. But I don't know. They're in not a bad spot. And they lost 17-10 last week to a Raiders team that might be good. We don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Week before, they came back. They beat Detroit. The week before that, who did they came back they beat detroit the week before that they play the vikings they had the lead there yeah they're in the they might be a sleeper as we're talking i'm gonna have to look at the titans and then they play the texans this week so because you figure i i know this point's been made i'm not claiming that i originated it i don't see how and Andrew Luck gets through the season. I wish no harm on the man, but the amount of hits that he takes,
Starting point is 00:02:50 and it's like he's one of those quarterbacks that every hit you just kind of feel on your couch. Some guys, they take the hits, and it's like they roll with them the right way, and then there's other guys like your guy Romo. Sorry. It's all right. But Luck, I don't see him lasting with that offensive line. You know, they should invent a couch that provides the shock that you'll feel your quarterback getting hit. Wouldn't that be cool?
Starting point is 00:03:13 Wouldn't you be like, we do this fantasy football nonsense anyway because we want to feel like we own a team or run a team. Right. How about if we felt like we were in the game? They had... Sack couch. Don't the movie seats have that, right? They do, right. Didn't they make movie theaters where the seat would shake as you're watching Fast and Furious?
Starting point is 00:03:29 Yeah, and they have the simulators with the Simpsons if you're in Disneyland or something. That's a great deal. If I said eight wins will win the AFC South, would you go over or under on that? Or would you nod at me and say that's a pretty good one? I like that one. I think two teams will be 7-8 going into the last week. Yeah, I think that sounds about right. Seems right, right?
Starting point is 00:03:52 Yeah, I don't think anyone's going to have 10. I really want to cross Jacksonville off, and I just don't see how we can do it. Are you ready to be on any given Wentz day? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. See what I did there?
Starting point is 00:04:06 We're taping. You love him, huh? He's pretty good. What did you think? Yeah, I think he's pretty good. Some of these other guys I need to see more of. I don't think I need to see a lot more out of him. I mean, you know, there's still the thing that we discussed last week where you want your team down 10-0 and see how they respond.
Starting point is 00:04:22 But he seems to have all the tools, everything. I do think with quarterbacks, certain things you just kind of know right away. Like I think baseball pitchers are like that. I think women are like that. Just say beautiful woman, like she's beautiful. Wentz just seems like a good quarterback. He is. Just the way he carries himself
Starting point is 00:04:45 the way he moves, he's got a bazooka seems really smart it's really hard for me to imagine a scenario where this is a fluke I know somebody's going to solve this and he's going to fall apart I just don't see it do you think the NFC East is the most improved
Starting point is 00:05:01 or most surprising division or not so much I think you need to settle down. Who? Me? I don't think the Giants, you know, they barely beat that crappy Saints team that just got annihilated on Monday night. I don't buy the Native Americans.
Starting point is 00:05:18 I'm not positive I buy Philly. Everyone will be around. Everyone will be around, don't you think? I think you're in good shape. You mean the Cowboys? Yeah, I think you're in good shape. You mean the Cowboys? Yeah, I think you're in pretty good shape. So the AFC South, Texans minus 110, Colts plus 160, Titans plus 800. And they already played the Vikings.
Starting point is 00:05:41 So here's Titans' rest of the schedule. Can't believe we're doing this already. At Houston. Uh-huh. At Miami. Cleveland, Indianapolis, Jacksonville. Back to back to back. Wow.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Jacksonville Thursday night. At San Diego. Home for Green Bay. At Indianapolis. At Chicago. Mm-hmm. Bye week. At KC.
Starting point is 00:06:03 At Jacksonville and at Houston. That can't be right. I must have written one of those down wrong. KC, at Jacksonville, and at Houston. That can't be right. I must have written one of those down wrong. KC's probably home, but not a lot of tough games on that schedule. Easier conversation if they go to Houston and win this week. I say we put down 8-1 on them. If Houston beats them, they have a two-game lead, right? Right.
Starting point is 00:06:21 8-1, though. 8-1 is nice for that because I really do think 7-9, 8-1 is a nice one. All right, I'm going to write that down, because I'm going to tell you something, Bill Simmons. We need a winner. We do need a winner. Joe House and I, we were going to hold an intervention for you, because you've led us into a 12-car pileup the last two, three weeks. No, just last week.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Just last week with the Steelers. We won week two. No, we had some clunkers in there. No, we won week two. Week two was the winner. Oh, we won week two. Week one we lost. I put the Steelers with a couple of our parlays this week, and they lost by 30 points.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Yeah. All right, we'll delay the intervention until I'm sure next week. So the Eagles are now the favorites in the NFC East. Plus 180. Giants plus 200. Cowboys plus 250. Redskins plus 800. Wow.
Starting point is 00:07:06 The division winners. Pats are minus 600. Let's congratulate. So before we get to week four, we have this Pats AFC East Hillary Clinton bet that is now looking pretty good. Yeah. After Thursday and then after Tuesday. What was the debate? Monday? Yeah. After Thursday. I feel pretty good about that. And then after Tuesday. What was the debate?
Starting point is 00:07:26 Monday? Yeah. What is she, minus 200 now? She's pretty solid. 220 in some spots, yeah. Hard to imagine him bouncing back. It turns out you need to know facts and to tell the truth. There are debates.
Starting point is 00:07:39 He's pulling out the big guns, though. That's the only thing. If he makes her cry, I guess he loses, too. But if he makes her scream at him and swing her purse at him, maybe he can climb back into this. She was a rock. I was really impressed by it. She just looked at him with that kind of half smile on her face the whole time. Never cracked.
Starting point is 00:08:00 There's a lot of eye rolling. You know she wanted to say something. I have a really important topic to bring up. i have one more important topic to bring up how much of the country actually cares about vince gully oh yeah no no wow not downy vince gully he's an amazing announcer but if you're in kansas city do you care no if you're in houston do you care houston yes no you have to care about something when i was in boston i never thought about vince scully ever other than he did a couple of the nbc games right so is is this la people are driving this vince scully thing or what's going on here i think he's been so you got your who's who's the celtics now you
Starting point is 00:08:47 have the ernie most you have johnny most you have ernie harwell for detroit chick hern i get it i feel like he's put 15 he's plus 15 years on these guys though isn't he yeah that's it that's that's pretty and the fact that he worked alone was good but yeah do people care i don't think they care but i also don't think i can i mean, the LA thing, it's a... Sure. I can't understate how big of a story it is here. Very, very big. I just wonder if anyone else cares because it's being covered like it's this gigantic
Starting point is 00:09:13 national story. Right. In Boston, they don't care. No, they don't. In New York, they claim to maybe care, but I don't think they do. Well, he did Brooklyn for a little bit, but yeah. Why are you nervous? Why can't we talk about this? I don't care. do. Well, he did Brooklyn for a little bit, but yeah. Why are you nervous? Why can't we talk about this?
Starting point is 00:09:26 I don't care. No, we're talking about it. He looks nervous. It does feel a little sacrilegious, but I do think people need to appreciate more than the way he could spin a tail and everything else that he did this alone. Nobody goes in the booth alone when they're 80 years old or 60 or 50 years old. It's pretty great. I never really appreciated him in any way until I lived here.
Starting point is 00:09:50 And sometimes I would put Dodger games on just cause it was just relaxing. It was nice to have him in the background just doing Vince Gulley things. And just listen there. And I also think like to do anything at age 89. Phenomenal. I mean, think about how old our dads are. Our dads are, behave like 89-year-olds, but they're not 89. He never screwed up.
Starting point is 00:10:12 And even you, here it is 5 o'clock on a Wednesday. You're ordering coffee. Your assistant just dropped off coffee. I just had a coffee. What do you need coffee for? I needed a little rush for the lines. To start the day at 5 p.m., you need a coffee. So you don't think this Vince Goully thing was out of whack at all?
Starting point is 00:10:26 No, I didn't even think of it in terms of the rest of the country. But I think it blew up in L.A. and deservedly so. Yes. This is like the most safe I've ever seen you play anything. Really? What do you want me to say about Vince Scully? I've never seen you tiptoe. I'm mad at freaking Time Warner who didn't let us listen to him for the last two years.
Starting point is 00:10:43 That sucks. Yeah, everyone's like, oh my God, Vince Scully, we're going to miss him. It's like, you know who else missed him? Yeah, everybody. Everyone with DirecTV. Those assholes that couldn't give us the last weekend of Vince Scully. Go back to your feuding on Monday. I said goodbye to him three years ago when he wasn't on DirecTV.
Starting point is 00:10:58 I have friends who are stealing cable. Remember when you used to steal cable? Yeah. I have buddies doing that just for Vince Scully. I think you know who they are. I so desperately wanted somebody to try to do a Vin Scully swimming against the stream take than just get annihilated by the internet. He wasn't that good.
Starting point is 00:11:17 It would be funny to set up one of your Ringer writers to do that. It's almost like a suicide mission. It would have been a great April Fool's prank. Vin Scully should have left 15 years ago. No, it is going to be, you know, it's always weird when these iconic announcers leave. Like when Johnny Most left the Celtics, it was just completely discombobulating for like five years. It just didn't make sense. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:43 I didn't like hearing anybody else. Yeah. Remy's not going to be as big. I didn't like hearing anybody else. Yeah. Remy's not going to be as big. I'm going to miss Vince Goey. You know what I think Vince Goey's in Dirty Moment's going to be, though? What? For Love of the Game.
Starting point is 00:11:52 You think so? Yeah. Because the Gibson Homer, whatever, everybody's seen that, the Buckner era. But like, For Love of the Game is just on cable all the time. And he's amazing in that. He is good in it.
Starting point is 00:12:02 He's really good in it. And most times when announcers are in a movie or a TV show, they're awful. And they seem super scripted. He's solid. I think Vince Scully might have thought that game actually happened. That's what they had to tell him. Yeah, it's like Costner's pitching a no-hitter.
Starting point is 00:12:18 It's really happening right now. I'll do you one better. I think you say Boston fans don't care. I think they're angry at the Vince Scully thing. When you equate a certain, you know, he called the Buckner error. And, you know, that's Vince Scully behind the bag. I mean, that's the real thing with Vince Scully. Well, that's why I never was really able to let my guard down with him.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Because he was the voice of the worst sportswoman of my life. Yeah, exactly. And it's tough to. It's like the last few years I equated, you know, Collinsworth and Michaels. I couldn't take it because the Cowboys
Starting point is 00:12:48 couldn't win on Sunday night. And thank you, Collinsworth, for basically Tony Romo's obituary. Like, enough already. Let's, please. Al Michaels, try to reel him in a little.
Starting point is 00:12:59 And I know you love Collinsworth and I do too for the most part. But you sold the game. People were watching the game. People were watching the game. We get it. Dak Prescott's good. I'm really the only Cowboys fan that's so torn I can't root fully for Dak Prescott.
Starting point is 00:13:13 I hate it. It seems like the Cowboy fans have just moved on. Yeah. For almost like, guys, it's too risky. You see. You'll be like, oh, Tony, all right, well, we'll see you later. Can we drive you to the airport? I'll tell you what, Simmons.
Starting point is 00:13:28 I'm going to take the bait here. I don't care. You can get me. But Romo is 2-1 or 3-0 with this team. What are people thinking? He doesn't beat the Bears. He doesn't beat the Redskins. Did you see that Giants defense that Prescott couldn't beat?
Starting point is 00:13:41 He could be 3-0. Let's everybody relax a little here. I totally agree. Just relax. I know you have your coffee, everybody relax a little here. I totally agree. Just relax. I know you have your coffee, but relax. It doesn't make any sense. Who are you going to miss more, Vin Scully or Leo DiCaprio at the end of Blood Diamond?
Starting point is 00:14:00 I didn't cry when Scully left. Yeah, maybe, maybe, you know. He did sing that one, Beneath My Wings, which is selling on iTunes right itunes right now he sure did uh last question before we get to the last michael irvin had an incident on social media that i mailed you where he took a selfie stick and then made a sexual joke with the news anchor right and it got me thinking that there's just not enough of michael urban with social media i feel like we we haven't even really tipped the potential of it yet right i need more we need him snapchatting we need him instagramming right need him around people in the office i just want more
Starting point is 00:14:37 he's entering anthony wiener territory like last week was the lombardi trophy and changing to belichick all right that's fun and now it's like taking pictures with hot reporters and being inappropriate. Let's do the lines. Let's do it. And let me tell you something. I'm playing this week on the protest because you didn't send me your lines this week. Just didn't send them. Oh, well, I never.
Starting point is 00:15:00 You just didn't send them. I never saw them either. All right. Now I have to trust that you didn't just look at these two minutes ago. I send you mine Monday morning. And look at this, a blank column for Bill. So I'm going to have to figure these out on the fly. Hey, quickly, let's talk about NFLSundayTicket.tv.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Oh. If you're a diehard NFL fan who can't get DirecTV where you live, we have good news. You can still watch football games on Sunday, even without a satellite. Stream games using your favorite device. And if you're a college student, there might be an exclusive deal for you. Right now, our listeners get 10% off when using the promo code RINGER. Go to NFLSundayTicket.tv. Use promo code R-I-N-G-E-R today.
Starting point is 00:15:44 I just want to say, I was trapped at my daughter had two soccer games. Go to NFLSundayTicket.tv. Use promo code R-I-N-G-E-R today. I just want to say, I was trapped at, my daughter had two soccer games on Sunday. And for the first time, I was able to watch the football games. Nice. As I was trapped in Norco from 8 o'clock till 2.30. So the second game started at 12.30 and I knew they were going to win both games so I wasn't that stressed out. But I kind of had it and I think she knew what I was up
Starting point is 00:16:12 to so she's playing and kind of looking over and was doing that whole thing. So thanks DirecTV for that. You caused a dissension with me and my daughter. I love you don't get any credit for driving her four and a half hours. Or baking in 100 degree heat. And then she somehow got mad at me on the way home because Any credit for driving her four and a half hours. No, or baking in 100 degree heat. Right, yeah. And then she somehow got mad at me on the way home because I don't even know what to say anymore. The father-daughter relationship.
Starting point is 00:16:32 You both missed out and you didn't miss out. I know. It's just a rollercoaster ride. I'm so happy for you. I can't even describe it. But yeah, so I had the Red Zone channel on and then they have all these little buttons, and you could go to different games, and it was really great. That's great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:47 I'm glad 2016, we've come a long way from the DirecTV suitcase. All right, back to the podcast. Under protest, you never sent me yours, but let's do this. You know how insanely honest I am about this stuff. I got you. I also know that you've lost- I have not seen any lines. You've lost the first three weeks, and you'll get any edge you can.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Let's see how this works out. I've not seen the lines, but you know what I've been doing well on is the Don Julio shot of the week. Oh, you are. You're 2-1. I'm 1-2, picking the Thursday game for Don Julio. Every Thursday, we take a shot of the week presented by Don Julio and Dan Sanborn and his four kids. Right. I nailed the Jets in week two and the Pats last week. I do feel like Don Julio should be sending me tequila-flavored chocolates
Starting point is 00:17:25 if I keep winning. He's probably not even... Does he even know we're doing this? Does he care? Does he care about us? He cares a little more than Vince Scully retiring, but not too much. It's not on his radar so much. Miami at Cincinnati is the Thursday
Starting point is 00:17:42 game. What a terrible game. Oh, I did guess the lines. I have them here. I did on Monday. Oh, you did? Yeah, I'll just read what I had. How convenient. All right.
Starting point is 00:17:49 I had the Bengals seven and a half. Bengals are seven and a half. Why would I cheat? I said Bengals by seven. And so you get it. I have to do it. It's become a cliche of a cliche of a cliche at this point what are you doing which one are we sure the bengals are good no we're not i was so mad at them last week they might not be good i had them over denver it made sense the days by the way the
Starting point is 00:18:19 days of the bad or the new quarterbacks going on the road the gamblers always had some kind of advantage with bad or new quarterbacks going on the road and losing you could bet against a trevor simeon you could bet against a uh uh who's the rams credit quarterback case case keenum it doesn't happen anymore i have i don't know if this is accurate the home teams were six to nine last week yeah 21 and 25 overall against the spread. That can't be right. Maybe it's 21-27. Well, there were 16 games, but yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Yeah, 21-27, something. They're definitely under 500. Both teams played so poorly. I don't even know why I look at the home teams anymore. How many home teams actually affect your thought process at this point? It shouldn't matter, right? I guess, like, last week, idiotic going against Seattle and Seattle. Like, I should know. Well, we had Green against Seattle and Seattle. I should know.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Well, we had Green Bay and Seattle. Both offenses were struggling. So you figured, I don't know, was that going to be the week? And it did. It was the week that they both woke up. But one of these teams usually— Pats and home have been pretty good. That was nice.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Baltimore and home. It's only like five teams. Other than that, throw it out. But it's not December. You can go to Baltimore and win if you're a regular team. Which one is more likely to go 6-10, Cincinnati or Arizona? Oh, man, 6-10. Well, because one of those teams is going to go 6-10.
Starting point is 00:19:36 I think Cincinnati maybe because the Ravens are good and the Steelers I think will step it up too. Palmer has – I feel good about that prediction from a few weeks ago. That was smart. Palmer definitely does not look right, and I think there's been some residue damage. They can't throw the deep ball anymore. No. I mean, you called it.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Congratulations, Cousin Sal. Sure thing on Facebook. You did the— That was my best bet. Buffalo. Buffalo. I just thought they had a game where they'd break out. I'm still not in love with the Lions. It was a kitchen sink game for bet. Buffalo. Buffalo. I thought they had a game where they'd break out. I'm still not in love with the Lions.
Starting point is 00:20:06 It was a kitchen sink game for them. As soon as I watched it on Friday, you made that pick. I loved it. I changed my pick in ZFL to the Bulls. I was like, that's great. Everyone's written them off. It's freaking week three. Can't write anyone off.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Everyone's got one kitchen sink in them in the first four weeks. Last year, here's what you should take into account for the three games. Last year, the Super Bowl teams, both Denver and Carolina, were both 0-3 at this point. Now, that's not true. No, that's not true. No, but all right. But what is true, Atlanta was 3-0.
Starting point is 00:20:37 They were nowhere close to the playoffs. Houston, KC, Seattle, and Washington were 1-2, and they all made the playoffs. So it's still early still early I think the uh the Philly could be the team we talk about like that I don't the thing I don't understand with Philly and I have so many Philly fans in my life now that I feel like half my conversations are with Philly not Boston but they they were throwing away this year yeah like they had they they basically like were using this year year to erase all of their salary cap sins
Starting point is 00:21:08 to try to get the ship right for next year. And it's just hard for me to believe that Carson Wentz and Jim Schwartz would turn this into a 12-4 team. It doesn't seem logical. Too many holes. Maybe it won't happen. Maybe we're going overboard on that team, specifically. And who knew Jim Schwartz was the second coming of God as a defensive coordinator?
Starting point is 00:21:29 I just remember him as a lousy NFL coach. Right, right. Because that didn't translate. No, that was a good hire. Sunday. All right, well, hold on. Don't we have to pick the game? Don Julio?
Starting point is 00:21:38 Oh, we have to take our Don Julio shot of the week. Let's do it. I like the Dolphins. I don't think the Bengals should be 7.5 over anybody. Okay. I'm taking the Dolphins, too.'t think the Bengals should be 7.5 over anybody. Okay. I'm taking the Dolphins, too. I think in these Thursday night games, they're weird. And Don Julio himself is a wise man, and he knew in these fixed games,
Starting point is 00:21:55 always take the points, especially if it's a touchdown. Something's not right with that Bengals team. I mean, until Eifert gets back, that offense is way out of sync. Does Perfect Strangers premiere this week or no? I think so, yeah. It does? The gas station monitor. Congratulations on that.
Starting point is 00:22:08 All right, Sunday, Green Bay and Philly are off. Well-deserved bye week for both teams. Green Bay had to play Jacksonville and the Lions. They need a break. This is such a waste of bye in week four. I didn't bet on the Packers. It's too worldly. I fully support your week four bye.
Starting point is 00:22:30 I didn't bet on the Packers, but I've been in the situation before where they go up by 28 points and then somehow either push or don't cover. It's incredible. It's almost like Mike McCarthy does it intentionally. That was a bad sign. Has any team ever taken their foot off the gas more times than Green Bay the last six years? No. It just finished the game. Yeah. How is this
Starting point is 00:22:50 a one score game? You guys were up 28 at home. It's a crap team. I turned it off and God bless Matthew Stafford because he's king. I mean, what's above king? That's what he is for garbage time. Fantasy points. People make runs at him every once in a while, like Bortles
Starting point is 00:23:06 made a run at him last year. Tannehill, I think, has it in him from time to time, but Stafford year after year is the Joe Montana of garbage time. If you're down 24 and you can have one quarterback in the league, that's your guy, right? He plays like somebody who has himself on his fantasy
Starting point is 00:23:22 team. Right, exactly. That's a pretty good quote. Up, down. Gronkowski's hurt. I got to make up some points. I like it. All right, well, there is a game in London. Yes, we love this.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Colts. London game. 6.30 a.m. Pacific time. Colts at Jaguar, technically at Jaguars, but in London. The game starts at 6.30 a.mm and your wife's first stink eye will be at 6 31 a.m yeah like what is their football they get they get so mad when the when the football's on let's just let me just a key this is a very big uh tip i'm gonna give guys the night before make sure your volume is way down on the remote so that when you turn on the tv at 6.30 a.m. on the West Coast, you're not waking up the whole house.
Starting point is 00:24:07 And you can even watch for an hour and a half before the wife knows what's going on. Yeah. Really smart. It's right up there with the load up your arms with gasoline before coming home from the strip club. I'm telling you. It'll add three years to your marriage. The glitter, I don't know what to do about. It's a tip from Don Julio.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Gasoline. Oh, yeah. Spilled some gasoline on my soap again. Why are you always filling up on gasoline on Saturday nights? You should get somebody to pump your own gas. What do you have in the line out here? That's great. That's one of your best, cuz.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Thank you. I have the Colts by three and a half. Okay. I had three and a half also. It was two, and now it's three. So we tie there. I don't know what to make of this game. I don't either.
Starting point is 00:24:59 And yet again, we've done it for London. Here's another awful game. It's this master plan to both introduce England to football while also getting them to hate it. I don't understand it. This is Brexit part two. We'll never send them a Packers-Pats game ever.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Anything like that. But what do we do? Wasn't Miami in London last year or the year before? Don't teams fire their coach in London? They leave them in London? It's a leave the coach behind game. Yeah, it's a Queens problem. But 170 coaches have
Starting point is 00:25:33 coached 50 plus games. Gus Bradley is 12 and 39, ranked 169 of 170. Who's 170? I don't know. I should have wrote that back down. Now we'll never know. I should have said that back down. That we'll never know. I should have said 168, so you wouldn't care too much.
Starting point is 00:25:48 Wow, 12 for 39. 12 and 39. 12 and 39. Jesus. So they could leave him there. Yeah, but I also don't get a feeling that they might step up this game. I don't know. I think the Colts are terrible.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Yeah. And they should have lost last week. Did you watch the end of that game? I did. That was ridiculous. The guy, the Chargers think the Colts are terrible. Yeah. And they should have lost last week. Did you watch the end of that game? I did. That was ridiculous. The guy, the Chargers, the cornerback got hurt. I think it was his replacement. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:11 But I don't know. I just, you know, in the last three minutes of a game when the other team needs to touchdown and win, I'm pretty sure I would cover T.Y. Hilton. Yeah. It feels like that would be one of the things on my list. No kidding. I don't think either of these teams would discuss who's going to win the division. What does Mike McCoy have to do to get fired?
Starting point is 00:26:29 Yeah, he should be 3-0 too, right? That team loses terrible games all the time. Every week. Tate, who loses more last-minute games than the Chargers? They've got to be the leader of the clubhouse, right? Yeah, pretty much. But it's Eagles, Burt Bell, 1936-1941. Oh, Burt Bell. Was anyone better than Tate? That's great. They made him commissioner? us right yeah pretty much but it's eagles burt bell 1936 1941 oh oh burt bell burt bell was
Starting point is 00:26:46 anyone better than that's great they made him commissioner i thought burt bell was the commissioner maybe yeah maybe all right buffalo at new england i had i had i mean i did this on monday i had the pats by four i'm really sorry i forgot to send this i get. I get this. I said six and a half, and it's six. I don't know who's playing quarterback. But I got lucky because it went up from four and a half to six. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Is it you? Is it Sully? Is it your dad? Who's quarterback? They said Brissette can play, but he's got a bandage on his thumb. And they said Garoppolo doesn't have full movement in his shoulder. I saw him throw like a 30-yard pass today on Twitter. That's good.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Meanwhile, my real quarterback's in fucking Italy with his wife. Isn't that nice? Taking nude sunbathing photos. This really worked out for him. I went on a whole rant on my show about this this week. I'm not going to spoil it. You did? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:39 About him going away? I have some theories on this. They don't let you in the though, that they don't let you in the clubhouse. They don't let you anywhere. It's like when you're... When you're suspended in high school,
Starting point is 00:27:51 you should still be allowed to come back and smoke outside with your friends, right? Like, you can't go anywhere near the place? Like, what... I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:58 It seems like they're causing more trouble than they need to with that. When are you going to put two and two together and realize that I have some experience with this? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:28:06 I was suspended for three weeks. Oh, you are? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm talking about school. Yeah. Remember when we couldn't do podcasts? Right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't go into the office. It was fucking crazy. You couldn't go into- I couldn't exchange work emails with anybody. Oh, that's right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:23 I'm sorry. I forgot you were a renegade. I literally could not talk to anybody, although I did. I mean, I had a couple phone calls. You can't just disappear. You didn't go to Italy. I had a show. We were doing the Grand Plymouth Basketball Hour that was premiering like five days after
Starting point is 00:28:39 my suspension ended, and I couldn't plan it. Produce it or anything. Wow. It was so bizarre. Yeah. ended and i couldn't plan it produce it or anything it was it was it was so bizarre yeah but when i found out during the suspension because i had been working like crazy hours for four years what i found out was that there was this whole other life out there not so bad yeah i was like this is nice i'm gonna wake up today and just turn on tv right i think i'm gonna walk to get coffee i'm gonna play golf today and i'm worried that's happening to Brady.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Oh, you think so? I am worried. He's never enjoyed a football season since he was like 10 years old. Right. Now he went to Michigan. I don't know. All right. I don't want to ruin your rant on any other Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:29:17 I haven't ruined most of it already. But yeah. Well, so six. Any given Wednesday. You love it. I am a little worried. I don't like that my quarterback's in Italy. It'll be fine.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Charlemagne told me it was going to be fine. I'm telling you. Look, Roger Goodell proved his point that Brady's replaceable. He wins. I hate when he wins. Is this a teaser game? Let's go simple here. Let's find our teaser.
Starting point is 00:29:42 I'm not going near this game. Really? Yeah, I think this has all the makings of a Belichick just trying to squeeze out a win in the ugliest way possible and just get to week five, four and oh. All right. Seattle at the New York Jets. Seattle at the New York Jets. I have Seattle by three, and I'm probably wrong,
Starting point is 00:30:05 but I couldn't favor the Jets after a six-interception game by their quarterback. I just couldn't talk myself into it. We're going to split this. It's two and a half, and I said two, and you said three, so we split it. And how unfortunate it is that six picks six and fits all rhyme for Fitzpatrick. It's bad when your name rhymes with a negative stat. I'm so mad that— Six picks, fits.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Six picks, fits. Yeah, Jacoby, when we used to do the Grantland Bad Quarterback League, that was what he called him, Pickspatrick. Pickspatrick, yeah. But that was like, remember, that was the year he threw like at least 20. Right, but to have six. To have six for picks. And that rhymes even with picks and fits.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Six picks. Not good. Not good. Casey was an obvious pick last week. Well, but I think that. To have six for picks. And that rhymes even with picks and fits. Six picks. Not good. Not good. Casey was an obvious pick last week. Well, but I think that was a screwed up game. I think the Giants-Saints and the Jets-Chiefs were the two screwed up games. It's too early maybe to tell, but I don't think either. First of all, that Giants-Saints game should have been 47-45.
Starting point is 00:31:03 It was like 13-10 or something. I don't know. So that was weird. And I don don't think the jets are that much worse than the chiefs they just they just got in a bad fight i think if the pats and texans had played 10 times that's weird too yeah i don't yeah i think that was the only scenario 27 nothing was not a fair representation of that matchup maybe they fumbled like two kickoffs on their own 20. They ran some of the worst plays I've ever seen in my life. And I don't know. That game should have been close. We should have eked it out.
Starting point is 00:31:32 I'm with you. All right, Detroit at Chicago. I have Detroit by three. Yeah, we both had three, and it is three. So it's our third tie. Yeah. The Bears, I talked to Mays today. Big Bears fan.
Starting point is 00:31:50 But objective. He's just mentally and emotionally moved on to the Cubs completely. Really? Not even the Bears are going to be happening. He's going to acknowledge it. And just mentally he's done. He's out. Well, the Cubs score more than the Bears.
Starting point is 00:32:03 Why not? Yeah. The Bears, I got to say this, Cubs run is the best thing that could happen to the Bears. Because normally I think the Chicago fans would be, all right, I'm saying, let's get rid of Cutler. And now it's like, who cares? We got the Cubs.
Starting point is 00:32:16 It doesn't matter. I'm going to make a prediction because I'm not picking any of these games on Cousin Sal. Sure thing. Jacksonville or Chicago win this week. Maybe both. One of these 0-3. It's not that big a prediction.
Starting point is 00:32:30 All right, Carolina at Atlanta. So you think kitchen sink for both of those teams? Yeah, I think so. One's in London, so it's a little weird. Who are our kitchen sink candidates this week? Jaguars, definitely the Bears. Well, you wouldn't even say Cleveland, right? Because they're trying to lose.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Cleveland's like... Arizona. Cleveland already threw the kitchen sink and it bounced off the ceiling and hit everyone in the head. Arizona? Arizona? They're 1-2. I don't know. They can go 1-3 in that division.
Starting point is 00:33:01 They'll be two back of the Rams. I don't know. Saints-Chargers is kind of the kitchen sink bowl. For who? Both? Yeah. I mean... Yeah. Yeah. Probably. Alright. Alright. Carolina-Atlanta. Really good game.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Better now that we saw it Monday night. So is it... Atlanta? Is there a chance they're decent? Yeah. So let's figure this out. They beat the Raiders, which that destroyed Vegas. They lost to the Bucs. They lost to the Bucs.
Starting point is 00:33:31 Threw us off their scent. Right. Beat the Raiders. Destroyed Vegas, as you said. Crushed the Saints. Really did. And without Julio Jones. He had like 11 yards receiving or something stupid like that.
Starting point is 00:33:43 The problem for them is they go Carolina at Denver at Seattle. They have a bad stretch coming up. They also have at Tampa, at Philly, at the Rams, at Carolina, and at home for New Orleans. They have a pretty tough schedule. Yeah. What do you think of
Starting point is 00:33:59 the line here? I think of the line as going to be Panthers by three and a half yep all right we both had that one and it is three and a half wow you're good when you don't send me the lines oh really really good all right i'll get you here now you're gonna get this one oakland at baltimore panthers anything well i'm throwing away last week because of all the shit that was going on in charlotte kitchen sink game but um but throw away last week right you throw away but that's a game that they normally you know i think 2015 even 2014 late hold on to that too much off-field stuff going on yeah the whole city's you know oh yeah i i think it was totally explainable yeah it's true there
Starting point is 00:34:44 were protests yeah shootings kyle it's totally explainable. Yeah, it's true. There were protests outside the stadium and everything. Yeah, shootings. It's like everything that's going on. People asking Cam Newton, everyone in his life, how should we handle this? I don't know. Such a bad situation. Up 10-0, though. That's the weird thing.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Okay. All right. Oakland at Baltimore. Is Baltimore in your elite? I have three top tier teams. Who are your top tier teams? I'm going to do that in a second. I want to tell you what my line is.
Starting point is 00:35:14 Ravens by two and a half. Oh, you're okay. You get this. I said four, and it's three. I'm going to give you my tier after we do this ad for our friends at Squarespace. Go ahead. After we do this ad for our friends at Squarespace, they make it easy to build beautiful websites without breaking a sweat,
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Starting point is 00:36:27 10% off your first purchase. Top tier. Top tier. I have Pats, Steelers, Broncos, Vikings. I didn't have the Steelers in there. I want to. And if they beat the Ravens soon, I don't know when they play, I would
Starting point is 00:36:43 put them in there. But I just have those three. Pats, Broncos, Vikings. You talked me out of it. You're right. The Steelers lost by 30 points. They shouldn't be in Tier 1. I just threw it away. I thought it was a weird game.
Starting point is 00:36:53 They fell behind. It was. The crowd. I think they threw it away once they won. Yeah. But you're right. They should have been more into that. That's a nice state rivalry.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Pats, Broncos, Vikings. And then next level is a little swollen with the steelers panthers packers seahawks giants cowboys and eagles no ravens no three and oh ravens wow and if they win this week they're if they win this week they can move they're in your second tier but not top tier if they win schedule it's a schedule three now yeah i don't feel really that good about i think we're forgetting how good they were in 2014. Last year was the anomaly. But maybe this is the good team.
Starting point is 00:37:31 They weren't on my radar at all until Jake Lazor on my show picked them as their sleeper. And then I looked at their schedule and I was like, oh. Yeah, so they beat the Bills. They suck. They beat the Browns. They suck. They beat the Jags by 2. They suck. This will be a They suck. They beat the Browns. They suck. They beat the Jags by two.
Starting point is 00:37:45 They suck. This will be a good win. They have backfield issues. They're celebrating Terrence West might start this week. Their wideouts aren't scary at all. Although Steve Smith is actually scary, but I don't think, you know. He's literally scary. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Their last four games are at Pittsburgh Monday night, home Philly, at Pittsburgh, at Cincinnati. That's tough. I'm sorry, at New England, home Philly, at Pittsburgh, at Cincinnati. That's easier. All right. Yeah. They'll be trying to stop us from going 13-0.
Starting point is 00:38:14 That'll be good. You might be trying to stop them. Tennessee at Houston. Here we go. Here we go. I'm excited for this one. Winner takes the division. It's over already.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Wait, Tennessee at Houston? I wrote this down wrong. I think so. You wrote something down? I don't know. You wrote something down because I never got anything. I wrote this down wrong. I have Texans by seven.
Starting point is 00:38:47 All right. I had that also. It was six and a half. It went down to five after the Watt news. So he's the only defensive player worth like a point and a half. I feel bad. I made a joke during the Pats-Texans game about how he had a good rest during the game. Some joke about how he didn't show up for it.
Starting point is 00:39:10 And then it turns out he's got a broken back, basically. You can't keep that guy off the field unless he's in traction. Yeah, because he didn't do anything in that game, which was weird. And it wasn't like we were triple teaming him or anything. What a mess that situation is. All right, last early game. We still don't have a teaser we like, right? We even have one team.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Maybe this is it. Cleveland at Washington. I'm not throwing Kirk Cousins in a tease. That ain't happening. I have the skins by seven. I'm probably low. You get it. It's seven and a half.
Starting point is 00:39:44 It went from nine to seven and a half. I had it at nine. But like I said, seven and a half. You don't... I have Terrell Pryor on both of my fantasy teams. You do? Yeah. I beat Damoshek by two points. What's that? Yeah, you what?
Starting point is 00:40:00 You got a win. What? You got a big win. Have I heard my name? Yeah, I beat him by two points. He had Drew Brees. Let me look at a big win. Have I heard my name? Yeah, I beat him by two points. He had Drew Brees. Let me look at that. Something weird happened Monday night, right? Yeah, Drew Brees threw some weird interceptions to help me beat him.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Right. But in all the makings of the Drew Brees garbage time something, and I was going to lose by one point because it's been that kind of season. And you continue to get zeros from Gronk, although he did play, right? Well, I started him over Kyle Rudolph, and he played 14 snaps. I kind of like my team now. I think if Terrell Pryor can be the new Jim Thorpe, I think I'm in pretty good shape. Well, I'm 3-0 here. You are 3-0.
Starting point is 00:40:39 Yeah, but let's talk about your team. No, I want to hear about your team. No, it's 3-0. I'm not going to jinx it. You know what? Nobody wants to hear about anyone's fantasy team. Russell Wilson a... No, I want to hear about your team. No, it's for you now. I'm not going to jinx it. You know what? Nobody wants to hear about anyone's fantasy team. All right, Russell Wilson. Russell Wilson or Eli.
Starting point is 00:40:48 I'm in trouble there. You have Zeke Elliott and Yeldon. Is that your second running back? TJ Yeldon. I'm looking at your bench. It's really your second running back, unless Rawls comes back. Well, I spent $29 on Thomas Rawls, who has... It's just Thomas Rawls, parentheses, shin.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Yeah, that should be good enough. What could happen to his shin? Would he get severed with a machete? Yeah. Who has a shin injury? What's that mean? Alright, you have Baldwin. It's good to have Baldwin and Rawls. That's a good strategy to have the best running back and receiver. I loaded up on the Seahawks offense. Yeah. Pryor
Starting point is 00:41:20 and, what is that, Devontae Parker? You have to have a better receiver. Devontae Parker's good have to have a better receiver. Devontae Parker's good. What's going on here? I told you I didn't do a good job this year. This is my last year in fantasy football. This is really the year when I quit. Just don't care.
Starting point is 00:41:36 Next year I'm going to come in and try to get every quarterback. I'm going to get 10 quarterbacks and then just $1 guys. Right. Late afternoon games. Denver or Tampa Bay. What was our game of the day for the earlies? I think Carolina-Atlanta, right? Or Seattle Jets?
Starting point is 00:41:52 I'm not ready to give Atlanta a game of the anything. No? Yeah. I'm not ready at all. Then it's Seattle Jets, I think. Titans-Texans. I'm most interested in Titans-Texans. Yeah, I got to say, I want to see.
Starting point is 00:42:05 It is for the division. It's a January game. You might as well. Yeah. The one thing with the Titans that we should probably consider before we put too much on the Titans, Mike Malarkey. Yeah, right. He's really way, way up there.
Starting point is 00:42:17 I don't know who the worst coach in the league is, but I know that if he's not mentioned, it's insulting to him and to us. Yeah. He's up there. He's in the top four. He is. he's not who was that belt tate bell what'd you say bird bell the bird bell word he was also the owner of the team so he couldn't fire oh yeah yeah see malarkey's gonna buy the team malarkey 18 and 39
Starting point is 00:42:36 as a coach yeah it's pretty good it's actually higher than i thought he's lucky he has gus bradley in the division he can't he can't get fired until gus bradley gets fired it's like the younger sister can't get married until until the older ones engaged i don't think i don't think it's easy to coach a team but i do know when i watch football on my television the sloppy teams jump out things don't look right just the teams that just look askew and And Tennessee always looks like the penalty at the wrong time, the play call that they shouldn't have called. So right now we're looking forward to,
Starting point is 00:43:15 and this might be the very next bet we win, Malarkey to make the playoffs somehow and then to bet against him. That'd be great. That's what we need to root for. I think he's going to be like an 11-point underdog. He'll be going against... So be it. It'll be against like Pittsburgh or Kansas City or something.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Those will be the wild cards? Yeah. All right. I'll do it. I'll take it. Denver or Tampa Bay? I have the Broncos by four. It's weird.
Starting point is 00:43:43 I can't quit Tampa Bay yet. Yeah. All right, you're going to get this. I had four and a half, and it's three and a half. All signs are that I was off on my Tampa sleeper pick. I had them, too. And I can't quit them yet. I feel like they're going to grow into something.
Starting point is 00:43:59 I don't know what I see, but I just. Yeah. I drive myself batty with that. At Tampa Bay, I said, who did they play last week? The Rams. It was the Rams. We had the Tampa Moneyline should have been a winner. Right.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Tampa had lost 40-7 Arizona. The Rams had just beaten Seattle. Doug Martin, they're all pro running back, went down to injury, and they were favored by six. I was like, I love Tampa. Let's just go with it. And then they're struggling. They're doing so... And what was that? Not that it
Starting point is 00:44:27 mattered towards the spread. What was Jameis doing at the end there? He had long... After the lightning storm, he had long passed the line of scrimmage and he was just dancing around there. Go for it. Well, I would say the last five minutes of that game was a coaching catastrophe. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:43 Jeff Fisher was up 11 and went for two. Oh, man. Which I didn't even understand it. I thought I was online Googling trying to figure out what my brain couldn't comprehend. We're asking our 11-year-old kids about the new math of this. Like, what's going on? What's wrong with being up 12 with four minutes left in a football game? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:02 You need two touchdowns. Right. Eight to three doesn't get you to 12. up 12 with four minutes left in a football game yeah you need two touchdowns right eight three doesn't get to 12 it's like what does he think there's gonna be a touchdown and two field goals in four minutes i was so that was so then tampa gets the ball and they ended that game with two timeouts they called one of the two like before the last play but he threw 40 seconds left he gets down to like the 20 yeah and it takes 20 seconds to set up. And then it's like, just call timeout.
Starting point is 00:45:28 What are you doing? Right. They left the timeout. The whole thing was crazy. It's bad news. Oh, and I left out the rims. Come out of the thunder delay. And third down in like 15, they called a pass play and complete.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Right. Keep that clock on. So they gave the Bucs 40. Oh, my God. That was the worst. But I will say. Unbelievable. Who's your can't bet them, can't bet against them team? Like, you lose them at a—I think Tampa Bay is my can't bet them, can't bet against them team. I think they've just passed the Chargers, who are also in that boat.
Starting point is 00:45:57 I won on Tampa in the first week. You did? Well, who's your team like that? Like, I feel like if I go to a sports book and I place a bet, the clerk calls Jameis Winston. He's like, all right, Sal's betting with you. Oh, no, he's betting against you. Like in casino when they call up.
Starting point is 00:46:12 All right, go ahead. Go rob the diamonds now. I would say... San Diego still? I would say all of them. All of them's a good answer. This is a really good question. It is good because it is like seven or 18. I would say the Cardinals.
Starting point is 00:46:33 I would have taken them last week, too, and then you switched my mind. But it's either every way I'm on there that I lose. Maybe the Seahawks, too. All right, let's get to that game. Rams at Cardinals. The first place Rams, I wrote them off. We went over the teams who we think are out of it and I said the Rams and now they're in first place.
Starting point is 00:46:52 I'm still writing them off. I have the cards by seven and a half. I said seven and a half. Yes, it is seven and a half. Wow, you are so good when you don't send your lines at halftime. Oh my god. Really, really. I hate when you think I cheat. Very impressive. Just send the lines. How hard my God. Really, really. I hate when you think I cheat. Very impressive. Just send the lines.
Starting point is 00:47:06 How hard is it? I just forgot. I did it, and then I forgot to send it to you. All right. I'm mad. All right. This is a teaser game, though, right? Yeah. Come on.
Starting point is 00:47:15 We got one, and you don't like Washington. I could see us putting the cards in this game, and I could see Tavon Austin running back a punt, and all of a sudden we're down six in the fourth quarter, and you and I are texting each other like, what do we do? Right. Maybe even before the fourth quarter. When was the last time you watched Kiss of Death with David Caruso and Nick Cage?
Starting point is 00:47:39 You know what? I knew you were going to ask me this question. I don't know. Forever ago. I don't know. Forever ago. I don't know. There's a scene in there where... First of all, it's a great cable movie. But there's a scene in there when Nick Cage, they go for a ride to meet somebody to pick up something.
Starting point is 00:47:56 And he brings Caruso, who's kind of like in his new crime group. And Caruso goes to get something. And Nick Cage comes from the other side and shoots the guy. And he doesn't realize Caruso's wearing a wire. But Caruso's like, what did you do? What did you do? So then they play it again. And as I was watching him say this,
Starting point is 00:48:15 I was thinking to file that away for the next time we make a terrible bet. I was going to text you, what did you do? Because that reminded me of all of our terrible bets. Right. And that's how I feel with the Cardinals tees. I got you, what did you do? Because that reminded me of all of our terrible bets. Right. And that's how I feel with the Cardinals tees. I got you. It feels like, what did you do? But we have to do it.
Starting point is 00:48:31 We have to. Nick Cage leaving Las Vegas. We're going back. I think Caruso is my favorite cable movie actor. Is he? In Proof of Life. Do you watch Proof of Life? No, no.
Starting point is 00:48:41 He's amazing in Proof of Life. He is? He's flat out incredible. You like bad movies. I do. I love bad movies. I'm doing Carolla's podcast tomorrow. less than much proof of life he's amazing in proof of life he is like flat out incredible you like bad movies i do you love bad for bad movies i'm doing corolla's podcast tomorrow yeah wait what was that a was that a fraudulent connection there what do you think he does bad movies i've heard rumors not that he oh that he's oh okay i thought he's saying he's in bad movies oh i like the hammer all right good okay no you guys do discuss like all the uh
Starting point is 00:49:07 all the crazy i haven't done a pod with adam in like two years i don't know what kind of bad habits he's who's left to suspend you now i just that's true we're gonna find out i just picture sitting there across from him and just his eyes rolling in the back of his head not listening to and not even knowing i'm there i did uh what's supposed to be an nfl sunday wrap up on facebook live uh sunday at two o'clock and he jumped in and he did about 20 minutes on his childhood garbage can no he didn't yes it made it entertaining did it involve race shitting in it no well that was a little after i'm getting like comments like holy shit corolla hijacked the sports recap here we go that's the best he's the
Starting point is 00:49:52 best um 20 minutes feels like about the number of minutes i would have guessed it's perfect it's not like you can come in for four minutes i should have had a prop on it. New Orleans at San Diego. Chargers by three. All right, I said three and a half. It's four and a half, so I get that one. One, five, six, seven, eight, nine. One, two, three.
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Starting point is 00:51:14 We still have games. All right, the night games. Well, Drew, no, we have one more. But the Saints, referees checking their arm. I think it dropped twice. This is it. This is it for them, right? I think it's been it for them for
Starting point is 00:51:27 two years. So you say Saints are done? You say the Browns are done? Anyone else? Sean Payton's another guy who fits my suspension theory. Really? Yeah, got suspended for a year. Got a taste of the good life away from football. He's never been the same. When's that team win a playoff game?
Starting point is 00:51:44 But this is a weird theory because you wouldn't say that you've never been the same. When did that team win a playoff game? This is a weird theory because you wouldn't say that you've never been the same, right? I've never been the same. I've written like 10 columns. Alright. It's true. I'm another example.
Starting point is 00:51:58 You wrote three columns and went right to Corolla. I did the Eye of the Tiger. Dallas and San Francisco. Speaking of the eye of the tiger. Oh, my God. This has all the makings of just a terrible loss for you. Yeah. It really does. I can just see it.
Starting point is 00:52:14 I have Dallas by three and a half. I definitely think you don't cover. And you probably lose. And it's going to be in the stupidest way possible. I have three and a half also. It's Dallas by three. Yeah, probably. No Dez, it looks like.
Starting point is 00:52:31 So what's wrong with Dez? I don't think Jason Garrett was supposed to say anything, but Dez has like a crack in his foot. And it's one of those things where he might tough it out, but he might miss three weeks. A crack in his foot sounds bad. Yeah, some kind of weird fracture in his foot. Supposedly he reeked of gasoline.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Many, many years now. That's a Michael Irvin move. I don't like this spot either. This is tough. Des is dressed like a gas station attendant. Yeah, that's a tough game. If you win, you're supposed to win. If you lose, you feel like shit.
Starting point is 00:53:04 There's nothing good about that game. So our best late game, I would say, is Broncos-Bucs. One thing I will say with Dallas, they play Cincy and Green Bay in the next two weeks. I don't want to say this is a must win, but it would be nice to beat 3-1 after that. So what did you say? The best late game? I said Bucs-Broncos, I think is the best one. I want to see...
Starting point is 00:53:24 I'm both foreign against Trevor Simeon. Best late game? I said Bucks-Broncos. I think it's the best one. I want to see. I'm both foreign against Trevor Simeon. I like the way he carries himself. I think he has poise. I think he's made good plays. On the other hand, I've personally witnessed like seven dropped interceptions. I was just going to say, at least three. How many underthrown touchdowns has he had? It's like Manning took all of the weird Manning old guy karma that he had
Starting point is 00:53:45 and just gave it to him. I know. And I can't tell if he's good or not. Bengals are so bad. It does seem like he has a game in him where he's going to have like six turnovers. Like all of the karma that he's been able to get away with at some point is going to come back to haunt him. But I don't know when.
Starting point is 00:53:59 Doesn't matter. Bradford, Simeon, Wentz. Defense is so good. None of this matters anymore yeah kansas city of pittsburgh steelers by four i don't feel good about that pick you shouldn't i said steelers by six it is six exactly this you i'd be i want to i don't think this is our teaser game i think we're done with teasers we can't find two teams i think the Chiefs could win this game.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Yeah. The Chiefs had one bad half, right? No. They got killed by San Diego. Yeah, that was... Oh, right. Okay. Who was the second?
Starting point is 00:54:35 And then they came back... Oh, they lost to the Texans. Yeah, right. That was not a good game. The Chiefs have had three bad halves out of six. Only 50% of their games have been miserable. I can't get a feel for the Chiefs. This is tough.
Starting point is 00:54:48 That's a stay away. It's a tough one. Monday night, Giants at Vikings. Where do you stand on the Sunday night football song these days? I don't even know what it is. What is it? That's not even the song, right? Whatever.
Starting point is 00:55:08 I told you, it feels like a cowboy loss. I still can't shake it. All the Sunday stuff. Night stuff. Giants at Minnesota. Vikings by four. I like this spot for the Giants. They're just not meant to be favored.
Starting point is 00:55:25 They're not meant to be favored in any game. My new strategy is take the Giants. They're just not meant to be favored. They're not meant to be favored in any game. My new strategy is take the Giants as an underdog and go against them as a favorite. I just think that's a safe bet. What's the line? It's four and a half, but we both had four. Let me tally these scores real quick. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. We had eight
Starting point is 00:55:41 ties. Besides that, I won four to three. You beat me again. So you can continue not sending your picks. That's fine. That's good. I feel like you might have cheated. Here's why Minnesota's scary. They've been down... Have they been down two scores in every game?
Starting point is 00:55:58 Or the Packers were up 7-0, I guess. But they were down 10-0 to Tennessee. They were down 10-0 to Carolina. If this team gets used to being down and winning, and that defense is as dominant as it is, they're going to be unstoppable. Phenomenal start for them. That's all. They win at Tennessee.
Starting point is 00:56:15 They beat Green Bay. They beat Carolina. If they get through this one, they have Houston at home, bye week, at Philly, at Chicago, Detroit, at Washington, home for Zona, at Detroit on Thanksgiving, home for Dallas, at Jacksonville, home for Indy, at Green Bay on a Saturday, and then Chicago. That's a lot of road games. That feels like 13 and 3.
Starting point is 00:56:37 What did it have, 12 road games? What was that? You know, when we did our wins pool, I had a choice between the Giants and Minnesota, and I just couldn't talk myself into Sam Bradford. And I had the next pick, and you between the Giants and Minnesota and I just couldn't talk myself into San Bradford and I had the next pick and you took the Giants but I knew you wouldn't take Houston I had the pick before you and I took Minnesota and then you emailed me like
Starting point is 00:56:54 you fell into my trap and now who's winning this wins pool you did I really wanted to take Houston but I knew you weren't taking Houston so it was between the Giants and Minnesota. And I thought I got all smart and cute by taking the Giants. Meanwhile, you ended up with the best team out of three.
Starting point is 00:57:12 Which proves yet again that I'm an idiot. Well, watch the Giants win. It won't matter. Minnesota's D is great. So good. I don't think they're going to miss Peterson at all. Isn't it weird? Eh.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Running backs. I guess. Unless it's a bad running back like the patriots when they lost yards you're giving up right there now you have to go between mckinnon and asiata and it's probably gonna work but but on the other hand it's 1600 yards but you feel like you have to involve him all the time yeah you know it's it's almost like a basketball thing when there's a guy who has to get his 20 shots right right it kind of maybe that's what part of it is i don't know the karma of getting him off the team yeah oh that defense is solid it's really good i hate it the vikes man it's all happening um what do you have to plug that's it jimmymel Live tonight, Thursday. Army Hammer Piper Bernabo I didn't write that. And Damian
Starting point is 00:58:07 Marley. And Matthew Cousin Sal on Twitter. Cousin Sal sure thing on Friday. Yeah. 9 a.m. Pacific You're like even for the week? I went one and two. I hit my best bet. Oh, but money-wise I was about even. Money-wise you're like even for the year, right?
Starting point is 00:58:23 I'm up like seven700 or $800. Oh, there you go. We gave away $1,000. We had everyone guess how many drop passes and fumbles there would be in the games. And after six days of studying, figuring this out, we arrived at a number. So someone won $1,000. I'm not sure who. You know, drops is not an official stat.
Starting point is 00:58:43 So you have to go. That's ludicrous. It's crazy. Yeah. So it changes throughout the year. So that's it. This week we'll have another 1,000 to give away. I have something that I think we should do with the Sunday games.
Starting point is 00:58:54 What is it? I think we should bet Europe in the Ryder Cup. I went on Shack House, the House Shackleford podcast. Love it. And the U.S. is favored to win the Ryder Cup. They've lost five of the last six. I looked at the team. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:59:11 There's a million props. I have to send them to you. I think we just go against it and either try to buy the win for America or profit off their loss. It's one or the other. Are you watching no TV? Are you excited
Starting point is 00:59:26 for TV to come back? The Affair's coming back. Oh, that TV. Yeah, I don't watch that. Westworld? Westworld, the Ringer staff likes Westworld.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Do they? Yeah. I'm going to have to load up on that. Bullish on Westworld. I think the new It's a Ratio is going to be good.
Starting point is 00:59:39 I'm finishing Narcos. What else is there? Something else is coming back, right? Survivor's been good. Yeah. I like Survivor. I like it.
Starting point is 00:59:47 Yeah, the millennials, they chose not to build. How lucky. You did a great thing. I love that Jeff Probst thing. Thanks. And I think I was the only one. No, no. It was like five other people.
Starting point is 00:59:58 No, it was great. How lucky is Survivor after 32 years, 23 years, whatever it is, that they need like six days of miserable weather and 25 days of great weather. And they almost get it precisely in that ratio every time. And then this time, this year, just a horrific storm that they had to evacuate. It's interesting. There's a lot of luck involved. You know what else they evacuated is trying to load the cast with attractive females. They've just given up.
Starting point is 01:00:29 You're right. They've just given up. I don't know. I don't know what the strategy is anymore. They never had. Yeah, that's not great. Every year,
Starting point is 01:00:36 just have the aspiring actress on there. Right. And have like the one meathead. Like those, those two characters always work. Come on survivor. Yeah. Um,
Starting point is 01:00:44 I would encourage you to watch atlanta on fx god that's my favorite show right now i hate this that's my favorite tony says to watch gamora you say atlanta well someone else told me atlanta too on fx atlanta's good and i think westworld's gonna be good at the buzzes let me ask you do you trust the ringer watch these shows with your wife or do you yeah you do so they have to be awake like i could watch a show but i have to watch with the wife too and i can't knock them out like three at a time because she goes to bed at uh 8 17 we talk about like netflix cheating yeah yeah that's it there's a new amanda knox i know the guy who did the amanda knox documentary that's
Starting point is 01:01:22 going to be on netflix and supposedly that's amazing too really i think there's this is going to be a really nice tv runway and the sarah jessica parker show is going to be good you just can't ever stop watching i love tv yeah i talked to um i at the emmy's party more tyranny from the affair nice was with our friend daniel and they were talking it was two in the morning and i went up to them he introduced me whatever and then uh and then i whispered to daniel i went on a date with her sister 20 years ago oh what do you think daniel's reaction to that was he's like just stays between us thanks for the information. Nope. Wrong. Wrong.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Ah, Bill Ayers. Hey, Bill Ayers. What? Hey, Bill Ayers. Drags her over and it turns into a whole conversation about the date. Yeah. Just classic. Why tell that guy anything?
Starting point is 01:02:18 Well, he had probably 16. What'd you do? What? Kettle one and tonics in him. It was great. That's your fault. Well, now, I mean, he's living the high life now. Josh said to do a time life. Yeah. Or was great. That's your fault. Well, now, I mean, he's living the high life now. Josh signed a deal with Time Life.
Starting point is 01:02:26 Yeah. Or Time Inc. Josh and Bob. Time something. Mm-hmm. Bob. They got part of Bob, too. Oh, they got some Bob?
Starting point is 01:02:33 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't realize Bob was involved. Of course, yeah. Josh and Bob. Thanks to Sonos, the smart speaker system that streams all your
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Starting point is 01:03:17 Don't forget about my new HBO show, Any Given Wednesday. Every Wednesday at 10 p.m., please watch the one this week with Charlemagne and Abby Wambach I tried to say pro women's soccer in this one you tried to stay pro? why? pro women's soccer the professional women's soccer league doesn't work it's failed
Starting point is 01:03:37 so I had an idea that we kind of fleshed out which I was excited about extra clips on HBO Go, HBO On Demand. Don't forget to check out TheRinger.com or our eight other podcast feeds, including Ringer University, which launched last week. And don't forget about Cousin Sal's Shore Thing on Facebook Friday. What time?
Starting point is 01:03:56 Friday, 9 Pacific, noon Eastern. You don't really miss the ESPN guys. No. I don't either. I miss the guys. You miss Neil Everett. Yeah, I miss Neil. I miss Stan.
Starting point is 01:04:05 You don't miss going to... It's more fun to go to Bristol than the LA Live studio, probably. I haven't been, only to visit Bristol. I mean, not Bristol, Vegas. Oh, Vegas is better.
Starting point is 01:04:14 Yeah. How many? You've done two Vegas? Vegas is better than Bristol, too. You go to Vegas? I'm there all the time. It's too much. This is your dream come true.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Yeah, it's good. Your whole life has been leading to this. Except when you have to go every week it's great because as always a pleasure oh we never came up with the teas it's just not there you know what we're gonna we're gonna end up throwing Cincinnati on something you know we are Tate don't let me do that you know we are don't let me do that please for the love of god all All right. Thanks for listening. On Friday, we're going to have Mike Lombardi, Joe House. We're going to do The Callaway Part 3.
Starting point is 01:04:52 And I'm going to make Jacko come on. He's in a really raw place right now. But I'm going to have him come on to say farewell to David Ortiz and also give his thoughts on the debate. So we will see you on Friday in the BS Podcast. Thanks, Sal. Good job by you. Good job by you, Billy.
Starting point is 01:05:07 Anytime y'all want to see me again, rewind this track right here, close your eyes, and picture me rolling.

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