The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 142: Week 11 Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: November 14, 2016

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons leans on old pal Cousin Sal to discuss the Cowboys offensive line as MVP (5:00), the Seahawks' physicality (12:00), the L.A. football experiment (20:00), Pats-Seahawks rivalry potential (24:00), the Panthers packing their bags (29:00), Bills-Bengals (33:00), Colin Kaepernick's vote (40:00), Titans-Colts (47:00), the reprehensibly bad Packers (50:00), Tim Tebow's magic in Denver (1:02:00), and a word from the president of the Tony Romo fan club (1:08:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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explores those very questions. Listen, subscribe, download Life After today on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get podcasts. Speaking of podcasts, we're also brought to you by TheRinger.com and The Ringer Podcast Network. Check out our new gamer podcast on Channel 33. It's called Achievement Oriented.

It's hosted by Jason Concepcion and Ben Lindberg. This weekend, they broke down the new Nintendo NES Classic release I'm mad at Nintendo by the way how do you short order those? I know they're trying to stimulate interest and all that stuff but that was just a dick move and I also heard the cords were too small

anyway listen to that podcast Achievement Oriented and hopefully Nintendo will put out more because I was really excited to play Tecmo Bowl with my son. Subscribe to the Channel 33 podcast on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, or wherever else. Here we go. We got Joe! Took 10 weeks to enjoy an entire football day From start to finish It really was And like the Sunday ticket They do the fans choice They pick the best four games In the early games

And they really nailed it They had the Minnesota-Washington They had That was a good one New Orleans-Denver Great one They had Actually not a great one

Slappy but dramatic Yeah I'll say that Yeah Yeah Pittsburgh-Dallas was great Pittsburgh-Dallas was great KC-Carolina was dramatic. Pittsburgh-Dallas was great. KC Carolina was dramatic, not great. That was one of the fans' choices.

Did we say Atlanta? Oh, Philly-Atlanta. Atlanta-Philly. That was good. That was probably my favorite one, just because Philly showed me some stuff in that game. They're physical. They're a playoff team. I don't know.

They're not going to win the Super Bowl, but they're definitely a playoff team. They're weird. I don't know if they'll make the playoffs. You look at their stats, and it doesn't really ever add up, win or lose. Like Carson Wentz, I think, went for 230, no touchdowns, lost a fumble, but they won, and they won. You know, you're pretty convinced they were going to win the whole way through. Yeah, that's how I felt, too.

Last place, 5-4. In the NFC East. Is this place haunted? I don't know. There's some drilling. There's some drilling in this sunset gow right now. Yeah, I don't know what to's some drilling. There's some drilling in this sunset hour right now. Yeah. I don't know what to make of the playoff picture anymore.

Because it seems like we're now locked into three AFC West playoff teams. That's happening. Unless there's some dramatic injury or something like that. NFC East, I don't feel the same way. I don't feel like we're locked into three NFC East playoff teams at all. I really hope the drilling doesn't come out of this podcast. But if you had to pick two NFC teams other than your team, who would be the other team?

I think the Giants are putting together a quiet, eerily similar to their Super Bowl run years. I talked to my friend Darren about this. Their defense is getting better. They put teams better. They put teams away. They're just doing that weird thing. They're playing a little possum. And what are they, five and three? Yeah, they got the Monday night game tonight against Cincy, which seems like the classic letdown game at home in a night game for the Giants, which we've seen a million

times. Yeah, maybe. I also wouldn't take Cincy in that game either. They scare me a little bit. And I'll tell you what, there's a little sub story here that I think like Ezekiel Elliott, MVP of the league, as far as I'm concerned, big Cowboys fan. Of course, I would think that ongoing investigation, he's public enemy number one in terms of NFL investigators with this domestic abuse thing that happened to them. Like they can't let it go and they have to look into it because of people like you. What did I do? You kill the commissioner. You'll cut his nuts off. But no, no, they should look into it.

But this is why Josh Brown should win MVP. Oh, if Dallas gets screwed up? Yes, exactly. Because of Josh Brown. If the Giants leapfrog Dallas because Josh Brown's a dick. Who was completely replaceable, and now they have to look into Zeke Elliott even further, and the Giants are going to sneak in and do some bad things.

Barnwell made the case on ESPN today that Dallas' offensive line should be the MVP. He made that case at Grantland for another team once, I remember. If he made that case at Grantland, you should own that case. You should not be allowed to make that case anymore. ESPN owns that case at Grantland you should own that case you should not be allowed to make that case that case I think uh it's an interesting theory to have a five-man unit as the MVP yeah obviously can't happen but at the same time I would agree the most valuable thing in the NFL this season is Dallas's offensive line that's where it begins and

ends right do you think Pittsburghittsburgh let elliot score at the end there oh the the second to last touchdown not the last one when it was like 155 left can't keep track of all the touchdowns so many there's so many untouched elliot touchdowns i don't know what they did but if they did let him score i i thought they scored way too soon like all right i'm fine i'm impressed with the fake spike and everything but yeah great we have 43 seconds left three timeouts and a field goal wins doesn't even tie i agree i like this i like this position and then you're one dumb face mask all away from putting your team in field goal range and that's exactly what happened and they scored anyway i thought of you multiple times during that game because um it was really the day the dream for Tony Romo died. And it was so bittersweet for you.

You love the Cowboys so much. You love Romo so much. It was such an exciting game. But you get it, too. You saw the 80-yard screen touchdown pass. I know. That's what it does to a quarterback. QBR. Good for Dak.

In the third quarter, he was like 8 for 15 for 170 yards because of that one pass. Right, right. But he is good, man. He made some big third down throws. He's damn good. That third and 11 pass to Dez, that touchdown. A couple big plays to Witten. He knows how to find Witten.

He gets bailed out a little bit, but he's so, so poised for a guy his age. I can't talk over the briefing. I don't know if anyone can hear. It's fine. They can barely hear it. The fact that he gets so much time makes me wonder romo's just got to be in the sidelines he's he's got that like you know he's got the

professional smile on his face but he's on he's got to be just dying inside he's a good teammate but i'm sure he is dying i'm sure he is dying he'll back him up he'll do the right thing and we'll see let me just say this i'm taking matters into my own hands now. With Dak? Yeah. I don't even know what that means. He's framed, put something in his glove compartment? I'm going to figure it out.

I'm not going to tell you, because then I'll blow the whole thing. Well, you have the most wins in the NFL right now. You have eight. You have eight wins. Thanks to a choke job by the Patriots, we have the most wins. It was a choke job. How did you feel about that? I thought Seattle deserved to win the game.

I thought they played better. Our front seven was abominable. And Collinsworth the whole game is talking about how Seattle's finally figured their offense line. We have no pass rush. I couldn't believe it. What's there to figure out? We can't pressure anybody.

That was the key drive right before the half ended where you shouldn't have even given up a field goal, and Seattle ended up scoring a touchdown. But you're rushing two, and there's, like you said, Collins was like, ah, this is Seattle offensive line. They really figured it out. Yeah, it's a two-man rush. You're rushing two. You might as well rush zero,

because two is never going to get through to four, and Wilson's going to be able to do whatever he wants. It's been a terrible year for Matt Patricia, but some of these drives they are giving up are just embarrassing they're not super bowl team super bowl teams don't give up that doug baldwin pass at the end of the first half right things like that it's just terrible the only two players who could really hurt them on the field were baldwin and graham and baldwin just kept getting open in big spots yeah the other thing is and this is why at halftime i never would bet against

my team against in a game like that but at halftime i thought seattle was a great bet because they dropped like five passes in the in the first half they guys opened that whole half wilson had time he was doing whatever he wants they could run the ball it didn't really seem like the pats were ever going to stop them i think they only had two punts the whole game, Seattle. Yeah, and they came to play. I know it's stupid to say one team tries harder than the other or whatever, but, you know, and you thought that Belichick off the bye, all the numbers were in his favor. But this team really, this is the toughest team you played,

the team that wanted to win the most. And I felt like I hate to bring up an NBA analogy. Here I go again. But Gronk was, they did to Gonk what they do to steph curry what like the cabs and when you knock them by an east coast team yeah eastern conference team and he was not the same after that that earl thomas they stopped throwing it to him yeah i actually thought that was one of the worst plays brady's made in a while because he led gronk right into earl thomas yeah and especially like it's a long season and guys are taking shots at Gronk all year anyway.

Like, I just don't think it's worth it. You do that in the fourth quarter if you really need a play. I don't know in the second quarter, whenever that was. But, you know, the Pats defense got exposed because you look at who they played this season. Cards in week one. Tannehill in week two put up a ton of garbage points against them osweiler tyrod taylor the browns whoever the hell started that game dalton landry jones tyrod taylor again

wilson did whatever he wanted in that game i mean he was awesome what do you have like 370 yards or something three tds you were going against him in fantasy you knew you killed me i know well i don't know if i score like 70 points in one game i know but yeah i'm up 40 but you or something, three TDs. You were going against him in fantasy. You killed me. I know. You scored like 70 points in one game. I know. But I'm up 40, but you have Eifert and Jeremy Hill, and for some reason I'm not comfortable. You're going to be fine.

I don't know. Yeah, in two leagues I played one against Doug Baldwin and one against LeGarrette Blount, and I had a healthy lead in both of them, and I'm going to get killed. I had the Wilson wilson baldwin combo yeah which like once a year when you have the qb and the best receiver in the same team they get three touchdowns there's like eight points per touchdown you'll remember that next year you're like no they hooked up all the time yeah it's really only one time but what is it about belichick and carol that they bring out the worst in each other coaching wise like i just the rushing two for belichick the suspect play call

p carol going for two up seven did you i actually like that you like that as a patriot because they had momentum and you couldn't stop them in the game no i actually i didn't want them to do that that's how i felt as a patriot fan you didn't want them to go for two i wanted to take an extra point i didn't think we could stop them oh well someone who had patriots minus one and a half i was like yeah you go try this and then we'll get the extra point on the other end. I was really concerned when they did that. I thought the game was going to be over. We hadn't stopped them once.

They did whatever they wanted. But on the other side. I don't know. Those four plays that we ran were just awful. They were just awful. Yeah, that was a good no call at the end, right? Yeah, I was fine with it. Gronk lunged into the guy.

He initiated 90% of the contact. Well, who knows what the quarterback sneak that was fumbled would have... That probably should have been enough. If he handles the fumble... Just give it to LeGarrette Bunt. He might get in. He was running. I just wish...

I like when we spread everyone out and just pound it with Bunt. He's going to get a yard. Right. You know? But the gronk play that the the part i didn't understand the whole left side was wide open and they've run a variation that play where he just cuts toward the middle and it's unstoppable because he's so big the guy comes in and they're and he's just gonna bounce off gronk yeah and that's what i thought they're gonna do i was excited and then they ran that fade play which is almost like the trying at the interference play right but seattle they're really good at just being really physical the whole game and after a while the refs become the refs become accustomed to just a certain level of physicality yeah i thought they played really well in that

game they weren't gonna lose the one yard line again but they have they willed it to happen that that's a beatable seattle team though because i'm still not sold on that offensive line and when they when we'll send us time like that yeah they're awesome but he's not they're going to play a defense in the playoffs that's not going to he's not going to have probably not but i think in four weeks we're going to say they're better than dallas or whoever and they're favored to win the nfc I think they'll figure it out. It seems like there's three teams and then there's everyone else. Pats. Pats, Dallas, Seattle.

Yeah. I don't think Pittsburgh could have maybe moved into the fringe of that, but Pittsburgh's defense isn't very good. Yeah, that was rough. That was weird. Casey, for some reason, nobody's thinking as an elite team. I wouldn't think anyone would put them in the top three, and yet they just keep winning games and pulling games out.

I think they're really good, and they're doing it. Is it possible that Andy Reid is outcoaching a lot of these teams, like falling behind and then winning the games? It's very strange. I was doing it without his best running back, without his best receiver. Defense is usually banged up. They came to play yesterday. And they didn't have Houston for six games.

I can't name a single chief that I'd feel great about starting in a fantasy week. Right. Who's their lead receiver? Macklin? Yeah, but he hasn't played, yeah. Yeah, yeah, but he's supposed to be their lead receiver. So it's that Tyreek Hill. Yeah, but he hasn't played, yeah. Yeah, but he's supposed to be their lead receiver. So it's that Tyreek Hill.

Yeah, you go tight end, I think. Kelsey, when he's not going to play that. Oh, Kelsey, yeah, yeah. But even he's not one of the top four tight ends. And yet they just grind him out, man. They have seven wins already. I think they have the easier. All three teams, Denver, KC, and Oakland, have a tough run.

They all play each other a bunch of times. Yeah. But it seems like KC has a slightly easier road. We have Houston has six and Tennessee has five wins. Houston, Osweiler didn't even crack 100 yards yesterday. The Texan fans are out of their mind that they just think he's a bum. And I don't know if he's a bum or not, but it doesn't seem like it's the right offense for him.

And I don't understand why he can't get the ball to Hopkins. It shouldn't, right? It shouldn't be that hard to get the ball to Hopkins. If Fuller comes back, it should be even better. But that team just beats their division. They've won eight in a row. And you and I want to root for Tennessee, especially after seeing all that offense yesterday.

It would be more fun. Win two games in a row, Tennessee. Let us get excited about you. You and I want to root for Tennessee, especially after seeing all that offense yesterday. It would be more fun. Win two games in a row, Tennessee. Let us get excited about you. They're 35-plus in the last three games for their offense, which is fun. So I think we get only one playoff team out of that division. Oh, yeah. I think Pittsburgh or Baltimore.

I don't think both. We're going to get at least two out of the AFC West. Probably three, but at least two. Now, Miami's interesting. I was just going to say, are we sleeping on dolphins here? Well, that's the thing, because I looked at their schedule. Four in a row they've won. Right. They're five and four.

They're at the Rams this week. They're at San Francisco. They're at Baltimore, this week. They're at San Francisco. They're at Baltimore. Home for Arizona. At the Jets. At Buffalo. And then home for the Pats in week 17 in a game where the Pats might have locked everything up by now. Yeah.

So there's a road for 10 wins for them. Maybe even 11. They could get to 11. They could go 6-1 down the stretch with that schedule. It's conceivable. I guess. It's a different team with Jay Ajayi running like he does.

Takes a little pressure off Tannehill. Defense is playing well, but I don't know if they're 11, but they could get to 10. Did you watch that San Diego-Miami? Did you watch a lot of that one, Yeah. Or were you concentrated on Dallas? I was concentrated on Dallas, but I saw it. Tannehill made some great plays in that game. That was the best I've seen him play against a good team

in a situation where they needed him. I don't know what happened to Rivers. Yeah, he fell apart. It's almost like he should say he had food poisoning at halftime. Did he have four? He had four. it's almost like he should say he had food poisoning at halftime or like he just thrown the ball for grabs he had four their last five drives were four picks and a touchdown and actually a second touchdown because one was a pick six touchdown interesting yeah they're a fun team but they're just not and they're on a buy this week four and six

would you cross off san diego i think four and six you have to cross off in that division right because ten and six and they have they have some brutal games left yeah they have uh well they got they got a bye week this week but then houston tampa carolina now they all the games are winnable the toughest two are home for oakland home for kc home for oakland case all right so if they don't i mean really they have to win both of those. The thing is that, what is it now, 10 fourth quarter collapses for McCoy? Yeah. Because there was some article Katie Baker put in the Ringers Winners and Losers this week, and they were already up to, it was from October,

and they were already up to eight fourth quarter collapses, and they've had two more. Yeah. He has a few more left. Can you believe how this L.A. football thing worked out has it worked out i don't know or how it has not worked out we end up with the rams who i would say all things considered are the worst team to watch in football oh yeah so boring every game is the worst game you've ever seen in your life games they won they won two games where they didn't score a touchdown.

Their punter is the star of the team. Yeah. He hit an 80-yard punt yesterday. It was one of the greatest punts I've ever seen in my life. Six of their nine games, they have scored one or zero touchdowns. So then you get this sad Chargers team that would be coming in. Nobody even cares about the Rams. We're going to have two teams? It's idiotic. We should That would be coming in. Mm-hmm. Nobody even cares about the Rams. We're going to have two teams?

This is idiotic. We should be able to trade them. Why is this happening? Why can't we stop it? We should be able to. California's going to succeed from the union anyway. We should be able to do whatever we want. Is that happening?

No. Do we get our own flag? We'll get a lot of petitions, signed names on the petition. Actually, let's talk about that, but I've got to say hi to our friends at Squarespace. They make it easy to build beautiful websites without breaking a sweat, regardless of skill level, no coding needed, whether you need a landing page, a beautiful gallery, a professional blog,

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you and I purchased in August, a gigantic Hillary Clinton pats to win the AFCs bet. Yeah. I was at that table in that restaurant in Vegas. No boo telling you there's no way the Pats aren't going to win the East. Every year we don't win money on this. What are we doing?

We dreamed up this phenomenal bet and it had no chance to lose and then we lost. I think it's the number one bet we've ever lost together. Because the future of the country is at stake. People are blaming us on Twitter for pro hillary fan we put our staff we put our stink on that bet and the nation uh should turn to us we put our stink on all the people who didn't come out and vote for

hillary well i i will say and i'm not even go supporting one way or the other but i as far as a sure thing goes i'm a little gun shy now about getting up and screaming about liking anyone giving two points or three points when the surest thing keeping donald trump out of office should have happened and and didn't like it just she was minus 600 the weekend before and got to minus 750 um tuesday morning and around noon and then everyone got in their car and drove home and it was like a wow michigan north carolina wisconsin ohio pennsylvania maybe florida yeah that checks all the boxes how is this happening and you were watching the live betting during the day right yeah right yeah because you texted me at one point i was with

the tv show people because we were putting together the last show. And everyone's trying to be optimistic. I'm watching on TV like, no, no. And then you texted me, Trump is minus 1,200 on the live line right now. I'm like, oh, my God. That's like the Patriots home against Cleveland up 20 at the half. They'd be minus 1,200. Right, exactly. And that was when I knew our next president was going to be named Donald J. Trump.

But I don't know what we do. I might have to retire from gambling. I didn't even gamble this week. I might be done. And I really liked this week, too. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what weighs up anymore. Well, we would have had the Patriots on some kind of teaser.

We would have had to. No? Really? I doubled in Seattle in ZFL. Wow. Yeah. I did not like the matchup because we have no pass rush. I just felt like Wilson was going to do whatever he wanted.

Now, we could have outscored Seattle. What do you think about Peter King saying it's the biggest rivalry in football? I can't. You know, I read that, and I made a face, and I thought it was ridiculous, and then I couldn't come up with one rivalry that topped it. Still, it was Bengals. I couldn't come up with one rivalry that topped it. Steelers-Bengals. These teams kill each other every time. I think he meant more like the most marketable rivalry right now.

What if that game ended up a clunker and then it couldn't be? The thing with the NFL, though, is these rivalries seem to have like a three or four year shelf life. Steelers-R ravens was absolutely phenomenal for three years yeah and pats colts during the bruski era was with manning and brady like that was awesome for eight years and teams sure but uh i would say pat seahawks cannot be a rivalry since they're really they're not going to play again for four years 2020 unless they meet unless they meet in the super Bowl yeah yeah I agree I agree can

your team rush rush uh can they pressure Wilson because that's going to determine whether you win that game or not well I think we would send one guy the whole time a one man pass yeah one guy and uh not even a guy on the team we would just pick someone out of the crowd just drives me crazy that's why does he get so cute with this stuff belichick like all you hear about is the offensive line how horrible it is and you're gonna rush to you're doing them a favor it i've been dubious at matt patricia for a while yesterday was one of the worst games he's had yeah and the real issue for the pats and this is something lombardi has been calling out in the podcast for a while is there's no fire you know butler's been fantastic this season he's been really good and he's been also good coming up and tackling running backs and stuff like that and he's

he's popping people like he's playing you know like he's got something at stake and a lot of these guys just don't seem like that yeah i don't I don't see that kind of energy on that side. And yet we discuss all this, and really if Edelman doesn't fumble, they kept him up and tortured him for 12 seconds before he fumbled. Like, you win the game. Or if Brady doesn't throw that bad pass or whatever. I think whoever. Yeah.

I want to say whoever had it last. I know. It's just a lot of weird stuff happened for Seattle to win. I thought it was bizarre that we flipped a script for the Super Bowl and we had the ball in the one yard line doing dumb things. And we had made the same mistake they made, was just to not give the ball to the guy who was going to get a yard. Is there a chance that Belichick goes for two if they make it there?

Just an extra F you to Carroll. So listen, no? I don't think so. Our little receivers haven't been good enough this year. Edelman's not the same guy anymore. I mean, he peaked the Super Bowl year and the year before was when he kind of peaked statistically. I don't think he's the same kind of playmaker anymore.

It's weird, too, because you're lining up two big guys outside sometimes. You have Bennett and Gronk outside and then Small in the middle. It should open up for Edelman. But maybe Gronk outside and then Small in the middle. It should open up for Edelman. But maybe it's hard to get him popped over the middle. All right, want to do the Week 11 lines. I like Week 11. Week 10, Week 11 are my favorite weeks to pick games because we finally have enough info.

Even though this has been such a wonky year, at least we have a general idea of what teams are good at and not that good at and we have enough advanced metric stuff that you know you can say stuff like philly getting points at home against atlanta did not make sense that just was two months of games yeah we have two months of games and that's that was just a bad line that was the public right or vegas said it because they knew people liked Atlanta. So the buys are Atlanta, Denver, New Jersey, Jets, and San Diego. So some fantasy implications this week.

Oh, yeah. There's good players out there. There's some good players that are going to be taking a seat this week. Yeah. Now, did you bet on Boomers saying Bryce Petty and the Heartbreakers or Petty and the Jets? Oh, interesting. I don't even know the answer.

I would have said Bryce Petty and the Jets. Okay. That's got to be it. That's got to be it. Although he's going pretty simple these days. Yesterday, highlight, he had Le'Veon Ding Dong Bell. Oh, boy. Le'Veon Ding Dong Bell?

Yeah, that's the sound the bell makes. Ding dong. That's what he said. Every Monday, we do the Don Julio Shout of the Week. Don Julio, the world's original handcrafted tequila with multiple unique tequilas, including Don Julio 1942. The best luxury tequila you will ever drink. We can either guess the Monday game or the Thursday game.

Did we win last week? I can't remember. I think we won last week. But we didn't take Cleveland, Baltimore. No, we won last week. Buffalo, Seattle. We took Buffalo over Seattle. Yeah, we won that one.

Right. Okay, good. We're going to win this one, too. All right. Let's guess the Thursday line, though, because I might guess that game. I don't know what the line is. It's at Carolina. I think Carolina's season is probably over, but technically it's not.

They're 3-6. They could run this late. So you can't really write them off yet. The Saints are a good football team that might not make the playoffs. I thought they did a nice job in that Denver game. They're a little sloppy. Hard to put them away. That's for sure.

They keep coming and coming. I like how even though Breeze had a couple of picks, he came flying back. The receivers are good. I have the Panthers giving three points to the Saints. I had three and a half, and I got it right. It is three and a half. Really? Gave them an extra half point for Thursday night?

Yes, maybe. So, yeah, because Carolina's three and six new orleans four and five they don't really go by the record anymore carolina's been getting the benefit of the doubt and i you know so we could go with that or we could go with giants versus bangles what's that line the giants are a one point favorite the bangles were won yesterday that's been flip-flopping weird anyway explanation for that I don't know well I'll tell you what I don't know what my explanation is but it's a ring of honor game for the Giants I think Coughlin's going in and they blow those games and I would take I'm taking Cincinnati plus the point with you yeah take that Don Julio what are you gonna do I'm gonna take the Saints. You are?

Yeah. I think they're better. I don't think Carolina's very good. I don't know what happened to them. I think the NFL, you have those two, three teams every year that the previous year they were good, then all of a sudden they're not. Arizona's another one. Arizona's just not good.

Carolina was up 17-0, and Atlanta was losing, and the Saints were losing. I'm like, oh boy, they're going to win this game game and they're going to be right back in it for the division. And now I just feel like, now I feel they're done. Cam blew the game. He did. He just wasn't good. He was the reason they lost. Our boy Tate is pretending not to listen.

He can't hear it. He's got three sets of headphones on. Tate was at a wedding this weekend for his brother. I don't even know if you saw it. It was very sad, but they did it the vikings too they're just they don't have it he said the wedding was sad the game was did you cry at the wedding so the saints my only hesitation would be there's a rematch saints won 41 38 in october also i i have no i don't know what the record is, but I just have a recollection of the Saints in Carolina.

Things going badly at least four or five times during the Breeze era. They'd go down there. All bad things would happen. But I don't know. Three and a half points. It feels like a three-point game, right? Thursday night. You're on your own with the Thursday night games.

I don't know. I like offense on Thursday nights. Yeah. I wish they got rid of the Thursday night games. I'd really be fine. Oh, it was Baltimore. You'd be fine. I'd be fine.

We'd all be fine. What would we complain about? We'd be fine. You know when we could have used this game? Or that Thursday game was on Sunday when I only had two games. What? Yesterday we had Steelers-Cowboys. There were three.

And we had Chargers-Dolphins. And we had that terrible Cards-Niners game. You deserve whatever happened to you if you watch one of that. And that was it. Yeah. Could have used the fourth one. I never heard an explanation why they only do three late afternoon. But you're right.

No, the explanation is they want the national audience. So you think Cleveland-Baltimore would have helped that late afternoon slot? Maybe. It's a terrible game. Maybe it nudges something down. All right, so we go to, is that a loser leaves town match? I think so, yeah. Week 11, finally we get some loser leaves town match.

I think Carolina's already left town, even though they're home. Well, Carolina's packed. They've paid the security deposit in the apartment, but they have not actually left their apartment yet. So they're two and Well, Carolina's packed. Yeah. They've paid the security deposit in the apartment, but they have not actually left their apartment yet. So they're two and a half games behind Atlanta? Yeah. Six and four to three and six? That's tough,

because I don't think they're getting a wild card. Yeah, I was going to say, the nine teams I thought we could write off, Jets, Bears, Jaguars, Niners, Browns, yes. Rams, Bucks, yeah. San Diego, Carolina. I think you can write them off. Yeah.

I'm trying to see if there's another one. The last thing I wrote off was Donald Trump a week ago, so I'm feeling good. You're doing good. There's another loser leaves town. Do you want to get to that Sunday? Yeah, let's do it. Buffalo with Cincy.

I think that's the loser leave town. Four and five against three, four, and one. And if Cincy. I think that's the loser-leave town. Four and five against three, four, and one. And if Cincy loses this day, they're three, five, and one. Right.

Only problem is nine wins might take the AFC North. It's conceivable. So then they'd have to go, if they lost tonight, maybe they won't lose tonight. It's a borderline.

So they have to go six and one or something. Yeah, it's a borderline. I had the Bengals by three and a half over the Bills. We both get this. I said three and a half. Yeah, it's a borderline. I had the Bengals by three and a half over the Bills. We both get this. I said three and a half.

Also, it's four and a half. Whoa. Was five and then went down to four and a half. Why don't people like the Bills? That seems too high. I don't know. The Bills, I thought they were good on Monday night against Seattle. Yeah.

I don't know why. The Bills coming off a bye, too. You know, I was looking at over-unders, trying to find a different way to lose money. Yeah. But there are some teams that are really good or really, like, the Bills are seven of their nine games went over. Falcons, seven of their nine went over. Colts, seven of their nine went over.

Same with the Redskins and Tennessee and the chargers and the raiders what was the pet on that what was the pet seahawks over under yesterday um because i never bet over unders because i always lose but that one i really strongly felt was going over hold on it was 55 i'll pull out my tally sheet carry around look at this look how how sad this is. Oh, my God. I know. I'm a 46-year-old man. 49 and a half. Yeah, that seemed like a lock, but I always lose. I can't remember. What was it?

Oh, 31-24? 31-24, yeah. Yeah. That was a weird game. All right. Well, Giants. Bears at Giants. I didn't see one minute of the Bears game. Good for you.

But apparently Cutler was... Stop bragging. Apparently Cutler, even for Cutler, was reprehensible. Why were they favored on the road? I don't know. There were weird lines. I don't think people know what to make of these. The Rams were favored on the road, and I guess that paid off.

But I don't care who... If you're quarterback's case, Keenum, I don't care who the other guy is. Yeah. You know? Yeah, there were odd lines. I have the Giants. See, this sucks because the Giants might suck tonight and this line would be three points lower.

But right now I have the Giants by nine. All right, you went high. Over the Bears. I said seven. Six and a half. Oh. Vegas believes. I went high on this one. Let's do Chiefs-Bucks next because i went high on this one let's do chiefs bucks next because i

went high on that one too i thought they would bump them high so we couldn't do the six point teasers with them okay because i did chiefs by nine over the bucks you did the same thing here i said six and a half it's seven and a half so i missed both i. Yeah. So why don't we just tease the Chiefs and the Giants right now? Because God hates us? Do you want to watch the Giants first? What if Beckham gets hurt? What are we going to do? Who's costing us that tease?

What if Beckham gets hurt? That's a good point. Yeah, I don't know. If you had to bet your life on Beckham versus A.J. Green tonight, more fantasy points, who would you pick? It's a great one. It's a great question. Because I put together, I did a DraftKings team this week

because my real fantasy life. I didn't even check on it. Yeah, I botched it. I had Brady as my QB. He killed me. But Beckham versus Green, I stared at for a while because their salaries were even and i actually went with aj green you did yeah he's whenever they are in a big game they

just ride him and he always ends up with eight to ten catches so that was my thinking beckham is just like hit he's like a home run hitter right right who have those games where he's just like five for 39 yeah but um he's like those home run hitters with the blonde curly hair, just scampers around, making love to kicking nets. Tampa Bay. Which thing did a big soccer game on Friday night? USA, Mexico? Yeah.

I know a couple of people that looked to bet through me. You know, they're always looking. Did you watch it? I didn't see it. I saw the last 20 minutes. I had a date with my wife. Oh, you did.

We went to, um, scored at the end. Yeah. Mexico scored on a corner kick where we didn't mark the forward, which you got to do in soccer. So you just have to, I guess I folded off,

came in. Everybody just watched him, but we have a guy who is a prodigy. This guy, Pulisic. We do. Yeah. That's American. Yeah. Wow. All right. Yeah. He's 18. He's a prodigy. This guy Pulisic. We do? Yeah. That's American?

Yeah. Wow. All right. Yeah. He's 18. He's a prodigy. This is the guy. We've been waiting for this guy and he's here.

Okay. He's special. The way he just doesn't give a shit. I love it. I love how he plays. He's like me. I'm all in. I don't give a shit either.

Number 10. You don't give a shit about soccer. He doesn't give a shit, period. I'm in on this guy. And by 2018, I'm going to be able to pronounce his name. All right, nice. Pulisic. I know.

I'm going to get you for Christmas now. 17-year-old's jersey. No, this is going to be the guy. Garrett, I'm telling you, get ready for a whole wave of stories about this dude. Arizona at Minnesota. I also may or may not have watched the last half hour of the Under-20 Women's World Cup last night on FS1 at midnight.

What is going on with this? I don't know. Really? I support my country, Sal. I like watching U.S. soccer games. I had to talk Carolla off the ledge for you choosing your daughter's soccer games over coming to watch football.

It's a good thing he didn't bring this up on my last HBO show. I'm surprised you got it down to 45 seconds. Jimmy's theory was great, though. What's that? Carolla, he's all about who makes him look bad as a father. Oh, right, right, right. And when you're going to your kid's sporting events,

it makes him look bad because he's in Topeka, Kansas with August doing shows in the holiday inn. look bad because he's in like topeka kansas with august doing doing shows in the holiday even worse he's he's watching football with us and his kids are playing on the roof and there are some bombarded like crazy noises going on and he will not break he's not faced he doesn't care not faced god bless him god bless that man uh what'd we say oh arizona minnesota is it possible this is a loser leaves town? God. I don't think the Vikings are good,

and I haven't felt good about them for a couple weeks now. Yeah. And I'm going to reflect that in this choice. Vikings by two and a half over the cards. I'm probably a half point off. No, we're both way off. Wait a minute. I have to check this because this doesn't look right.

Vikings minus two and a half against the Cardinals. You said Vikings minus two and a half? Yeah. This is... All right. So I said Vikings minus three and a half, and you're going to win this because it's Arizona minus one. Wow.

Okay. Minnesota's not good. They're not good. They can't block. They scored 10, 10, 16, and 20 in the last four. I guess they're improving. But, you know, even the defense is now giving up 97 yards rushing to a guy named R. Kelly. Oh, who helped beat you in fantasy yesterday, right?

He did, right? Oh, that's your guy. Fat Rob. How much did you pay for him? Like $0. $0 pickup. You're like a game out of the playoffs, I think. I know.

I've been making moves. This is stupid. I'm making moves left and right. Now, but listen, the season, you think it's over for Arizona? Well. It's a tough schedule. At Vikings, at Atlanta, they'll be favored against the Redskins. At the Dolphins, they'll be favored home against the Saints.

And then at Seattle. They're not very good. The Niners, I tried not to watch a lot of this game, but I thought David Johnson was going to have a huge game, and apparently they just took him out and dared Carson Palmer to beat them, and he couldn't. They can't blow anybody out. Because he's pretty much done at this point.

That was one of my picks, San Francisco plus 13. Nice one. That's a ballsy pick because they're terrible. No, it sucks rooting for an awful team, but you have to do it once in a while. It is one of those things, though, where you feel like there's just certain games where you're getting five, six extra points because nobody wants to take the other team. And that's one of them. It's like, oh, I don't want to take San Francisco.

What if we offered you 13 and a half points? All right, I guess I'll do it. Throw in the floor match. How was Kaepernick in that game? Half decent? He was fine. He was sluggish in the beginning. You expect him to run for more first downs instead of throwing the ball you know making uh poor choices

throwing but he he got it together and I can't believe he didn't vote they could have won the game I can't believe he didn't vote why what a jackass this guy this guy positions himself as like the face of this whole movement and then he doesn't vote. Yeah. I don't understand anyone who doesn't vote. He should have at least said he voted. My apologies to anyone listening who loves this podcast who didn't vote for whatever their reasons. Like I'm sure they made sense to you.

I just don't get it. Yeah. Like we have two choices. At some point you have to decide which choice is the more palatable choice for you. To not make a choice is bizarre to me. I just don't understand it. I'm going to be honest with you then. You're not going to gonna like this you didn't vote no i went i went to vote i saw

the first page i stared at it for a minute and a half which is not even nearly as long as i stare at these lines try to figure them out i turned the page i was like i don't want it i don't want i don't want blood i voted for kamala harris I was like, that's a nice, funny name. I voted on all the referendums. Why didn't you write in somebody? Why didn't you write in like Uncle Frank or somebody? It doesn't matter. No, I don't want blood on my hands. California is a...

I guess your vote probably didn't matter. You're so mad at me. I just don't understand. I didn't cost us. I voted for the important stuff. It's like if you if you're getting if you're dating somebody for four years and you could either marry them or break up with them yeah and you just don't do either interesting yeah you just you just stare at each other yeah at some point

you just got to pick right or maybe some people well what if she's gonna end up in jail what what do you do then you marry her or break up with her what an election i know i know i mean it makes sense i'm not against it everyone has their reasons i just don't personally understand it but for kaepernick not to vote i i really didn't understand yeah because he had specifically positioned himself a certain way right and then you can't just shrink from that. What's the most shocking stat from the election? Voter breakdown. For me, it's 45% female college graduates went Trump.

Never understand it. There's so many things I don't understand. I know. A New Hampshire voter not voting for Hillary, I thought was amazing. There's a ton. All don't understand. I know. A New Hampshire voting for Hillary, I thought was amazing. There's a ton. All right, let's move on. Baltimore or Dallas?

I promise you people just want to hear us talk about football. Baltimore or Dallas? I had to mute like 50 people on my Twitter. Oh, really? I thought you don't even check anymore. No, no, on the people I follow. Oh, really? I thought you don't even check anymore. No, no. On the people I follow. Oh, I see. I needed a break from every story about

how the world's ending. Oh, I hate, you know. I can't take it anymore. I had to join Facebook to be an administrator on my Cousin Sal's Short Thing page and I joined at the worst time. Yeah. In like September. I mean, it was awful and I end up unfollowing people I agree with because it's just too much.

It's crazy. And was one mind changed, I guess? I don't know, on Facebook? As a child of divorce, you're used to dealing with tragedy by just compartmentalizing it. Nice. That's how I'm choosing to deal with all this stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. I am concerned. All right. Baltimore at Dallas. I have the Cowboys by seven you got it right i went high and i'm usually skeptical i said eight it is seven exactly lombardi caught it last week on the on the friday pod the ravens just fundamentally sound they don't give up a lot of huge plays. They're good on special teams.

They don't really make dumb mistakes. They just kind of hang around. Yeah. They're just in the game. Just do stuff. Bang it out. Make a couple big plays. They might hit the one big long.

It's a little bit of a dangerous game. You guys haven't played a bad game in a while i feel like we've mowed through the afc north and like this this is uh the team that might give us a problem like the pats i don't think they played bad yesterday but they had stuff happen like you know edelman fumbles cyrus jones fumbles guy they let baldwin sneak through right you know harman comes over too late on the baldwin down the middle at the end all this they just didn't play well in the game you haven't had a game like that in a while i'll be interested to see what happens when you do well it is interesting and also like prescott because i remember that i remember brady had one bad game his first rodeo that first season

i remember rothlisberger the young rookie quarterback has the one game where everything goes wrong. He just hasn't had it happen yet. He hasn't had it where everything goes wrong. He didn't have good stats against the Eagles before overtime. But, yeah, you're right. He is winning. But Zeke is just – now Zeke and Brady are both plus 250 for MVP. You're going with your boy.

No, after nine weeks, Zeke 100%. Really? Brady's played five games and we're 4-1. How are you the MVP under that scenario? He's 1,200 rushing and receiving yard. He can get over 2,000. That would be modest at this point. Who do you think is the best player you've seen this season?

Why not Ezekiel Elliott? He's in the conversation. He slashes in the conversation. He looks like he weighs far too little to be able to get through these lines the way he does. I'm amazed every time I watch him. Yeah, because he'll have the runs, the touchdown runs, where nobody touches him. But the thing for me that makes him special is just how he always gets five yards,

four yards, five yards. It's like, oh, they're going to stuff him. And Bell, I think, might be the second best player i've seen this year oh levy on ding dong bell you mean ding dong bell is some of those runs he had yesterday where he just stops yeah it's like the fucking matrix like he just stops he does that thing where he tries to kick into gear yeah yeah weird he's so scary's good. Those are the two scariest dudes. They should be winning more. And that scary running back title seems to flip-flop. Like Jamal Charles was terrifying a couple years ago. Hold on.

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and a free keychain remote that's simply safe with two I's. Once again, that is SimpliSafeBS.com. All right. There you go. All right. Tennessee at Indianapolis. Peter King calls this the greatest rivalry in all sports. He calls it the greatest rivalry in the AFC South. I had the Colts by two and a half.

Yeah, you went low. Oh, wait. Actually, yeah, you're closer. I said four. It's three. So the Colts, here are the teams they've beaten. They beat the Chargers in an either-or game. They beat the Bears.

They beat the Titans, ironically enough, in Tennessee 34-26. And they beat the Packers in Green Bay and everybody looked at that game and said that was one of the weirdest games of the year like

I don't understand the Colts are terrible how did they win in Green Bay it turns out Green Bay's terrible Green Bay's terrible Lombardi and I talked about it on Friday

they're just not good and they were reprehensibly bad yesterday is it all one player is it all Clay Matthews? Because he's gone the last three games. They've allowed crazy many. They've allowed 33, 31, and

47. Just Clay Matthews, come back and bring any younger brothers or sisters with you. They're just not good. I actually think that they could really swoon here. They don't have a running game still. They're hanging off to Montgomery and doing weird things like that. They don't really have any game breakers.

And then you look at since week five, they beat the Giants by seven. They beat the Bears by 16. They've lost everything else. So they've won twice since week three. So are you saying another magical parlay is going to go down with the Browns and 49ers who love losing more than anybody? I'm very concerned. And we had Lions on there also to not make the playoffs. I'm really concerned.

And the Lions jumped into first place on their bye week. They jumped into first place somehow. I'm concerned because they got Jacksonville this week at home. They're terrible. They have Minnesota on a Thursday night at New Orleans. They play Chicago at home at the Giants at Dallas, home for Green Bay. So that's at least three more wins. That gets them to eight.

And they might have a game lead on Green Bay that last game. Plus your team. And they beat Minnesota. What if your team has nothing to play for in week 16? You might have the one seed locked up. I'll get them to play. I'll say, hey, we need this parlay to come in. We can go

against that Lions bet, though. I can't believe we're saying this. If it comes down to it it we'll just go against it i know all right uh lions niners browns before the season not to make the playoffs one of the great easy locks of all time we did do the pats to go eight and four with the cards not to make the playoffs after week four that one's gonna win eight and four with brady yeah that's gonna win until you just said it's gonna win now well they'd, they'd have to go five and four the rest of the way. Or no.

Yeah. No, they'd have to go three and four the rest of the way of the Pats. We're not losing that. No, no. But Arizona is the one I'm thinking could. Arizona's not making the playoffs. That's not happening. I hope someone's gathering all these soundbites.

Is Arizona making the playoffs? No, they can't. Arizona's not making the playoffs. Cross them off. Pittsburgh or Cleveland? Ooh. I didn't. Arizona's not making the playoffs. Cross them off. Pittsburgh or Cleveland? I didn't know how high to go on this one. Because it is

unequivocally a must-win game for Pittsburgh. There's no, oh, trap game. Oh, they have to win. That's why I looked. They're 4-5, but they still have two games against Cleveland. So they're really 6-5. And then look at the rest of the schedule. They might be okay. They're 4-5. And then look at the rest of the schedule. They might be okay. They're 4-5.

Don't they have another crappy team they're playing? They have a... Ooh. So they're at Cleveland, then they're at Indy on Thursday night, which is a team they should annihilate. That's Thanksgiving night. Is that Thanksgiving? Yeah.

And their last two are home games. I think the Steelers their offense is in the top three or four right I'm not sold on their defense though no I know they're in trouble

it's a below average defense it looks like they have and oh what were you did you I like the two point conversion thing for them

for them I liked it for Pete Carroll I didn't I don't care I'd rather see six missed two-point conversion attempts than one missed extra point attempt. I like that Tomlin has made it his thing. When they score first, he goes for it to try to go up 8-0.

It's kind of like it's trying to patent it almost. Oregon-esque. Speaking of patenting, every time somebody pulls off the fake spike people talk about merino he did invent it didn't he's the inventor now allegedly bernie kozar might have done it before him oh really but i always feel like it's the merino play against the jets yeah merino didn't win a ring a lot of people haven't won a ring give merino something this is great for him he's the inventor of the fake spike i think it really you know if you can't win like what a carl malone

invent carl malone didn't win a wing i can't name anything carl malone invented right yeah charles barkley didn't win a ring but he's got inside the nba it's a good idea yeah but marino is the inventor of the fake spike not a lot of inventors like dick Dick Fosbury. He invented the Fosbury flop. Right, right, right. The rope-a-dope Ali. Patrick Ewing invented the Ewing theory. Patrick Ewing inspired the Ewing theory. Poor Bernie Kosar. Now I feel bad.

He could have had something invented, maybe taken away from him. There's plenty of other reasons to feel bad for Bernie Kosar. What do you have for a line here, Cleveland? I had Pittsburgh by 13. Yeah, you went a little high. I don't blame you because Cleveland's lost by 14, 25, and 21, three of the last four. I went 11.

It's nine and a half. So explain that to me because the Cardinals-Niners game went up to 13 and a half, and the Steelers are much more of a threat to just blow somebody out. I mean, Cleveland puts up a valiant effort. I think they were winning at halftime against Baltimore, and then they just remember that they stay laser-focused on getting that number one pick. They're a 20-minute team, as Lombardi would say.

Yeah, that's it. I don't know. That should be higher. I think it will go to 11 or 12 there. Pittsburgh favored to win the North. Plus 140. Makes sense. You think so? Alright. Jacksonville at Detroit. We haven't done this yet, right? No. Are we still in the early games?

Yeah, this is the last one. I don't like this at all and I don't agree with it or condone it, but I have Detroit by 7.5. We both had 7.5. It's 6.5. Another one that might be a little low. You know, they discussed, you know, whoever you like is president obama or trump these guys have a tough job that creating jobs is harder than it look when gus bradley is freaking 12 and 43 and you can't even open up that job for somebody right how are you supposed to get you know i saw

a stat today that the jaguars since the last time they forced a turnover which was like week four or week five they've turned the ball over 12 times to zero so the last 12 turnovers in a jaguars game they're minus 12 wow it's like impossible like the chiefs have had i think 12 turnovers in the last five games that they forced and the jags are my i think they're minus 14 for the season but when you have an offense that turns the ball over in a defense that can't force turnovers like just start there you're a disaster and that's before you add in all the other they're another 20 minute team but they spent money in their defense though that's a weird thing yeah they're always in the mix in uh agency. And people like Jalen Ramsey.

You almost took Jalen Ramsey. That might have been our guy. Who knows? I don't think we would have gone Bosa. I'm trying to think who Bosa was gone. I don't know. Bosa was three. Elliott was four.

Ramsey was five. It's a great draft. I know. Except for poor Jared Goff. Prescott was 135. We have that game right now. Miami at the Rams. And Jared Goff. Prescott was 135. We have that game right now. Miami at the Rams. And Jared Goff, is he playing?

There's talk about him playing. But is it more embarrassing if he plays and is bad, like the organization knows? There's got to be a reason he's not playing. Yeah. The Browns traded that pick in a trade that seemed like a really smart trade. But then Bosa and Zeke Elliott were the next two picks. That's tough. Forget about the whole quarterback thing.

Joey Bosa is like a beast. That guy's all over the place. He's figuring out how to play pro football. And if you watch that San Diego-Miami game closely, they hit Tannehill and he threw this pass. It just fallen down. It hit somebody in the helmet. It just popped up in the air right in front of the goal line.

And three Chargers are there, and none of them could find it. Yeah. And if it pops up two inches to the right, somebody catches it. It's a touchdown. They win. And that's the Chargers season in a nutshell. That's it. Yeah. So the team, the Rams, don't score.

I have the Dolphins by three and a half over the Rams. I said Dolphins by two. It's Dolphins by one. So I get that one. That doesn't make sense to me. The Dolphins are much better. This team can't score. They don't score.

How is Rob Boris, this offensive coordinator, still have a job? That's his name? Yeah, I think so. In Miami, it's four in a row. So they had 10 points, 10 points, 6 points last three games? That sounds right. They've done one magical thing, though. They've made Kenny Britt somebody that you might actually start in a fantasy week,

which we've been waiting for for seven years. I think we've all had him. He's one of those guys who's been on everyone's team who's ever played fantasy. No, he's just so big. Yeah. Forget Chase Keen. Oh, my God.

Philly at Seattle. That's a good one. It's a nice one. It's not a good matchup for Seattle. Throwing that out there. Nice pass rush for this offensive line that allegedly got fixed last week hangover game got fixed at all hangover game two maybe seahawks by six i have all right so i

had four you had six opened at four and a half last night before the game went to six so you're gonna get that great let me add yours here that sounded like an excuse for that you're just running around well it opened at four and a half. All right, I'm up seven-six if we include ties here. Otherwise, it's four to two or four to three. That looks like an underdog special, that Eagles game. Maybe. New England at San Francisco. This is not an underdog special.

No, and it's a game that the Pats actually have to win because freaking Denver. You're going to win. Don't worry about it. Denver yet again. The QB at Broncos, and actually it dates back to the Tebow era. I don't think any team has pulled more wins out of the deep recesses of their asshole than Denver. Yesterday was, even for them, amazing.

The block two-point conversion. Well, they're up 10-0. The block PAT to get two points to win. I was watching that closely because that was one of my picks. They're up 10-0. Simeon's at the 20-yard line, about to put it away, like 13 or 17-0 I think is good. He throws interception.

Then it was all Saints for like an hour and a half. Yeah. And did you think he stepped out of bounds? Yes. Simeon's from Boston College blocks the kick. You should be excited by that. I was excited. And then Parks picks it up.

Maybe stepped out of bounds. Hard to tell. If they're all wearing the Pat Tillman cleats, I think we know better, but it's white on white, so we can't see. Explain this to me. The Leafs worth $100 billion.

How do we not have cameras on all four pylons that just have the straight shot of the line? Pylon, so from like 60 yards away, you get it? Just boom each way that you can see everything. They should be able to nail that one. I don't know if this is part of their view process, but the reason I definitely think he touched the line was because everyone on the Saints went nuts the moment his foot hit the line and it wasn't like

did he like i'm looking at each other they all were like he touched the line they went crazy what was he doing anyway he didn't have to get so close he had a guy with a a a six at the beginning of his number chasing him like what do you you don't have to step out of battle he was fine forever do you think they should have somebody 20 yards back who's just kind of making sure nothing happens? Do we need nine blockers for a field goal? On your kick? I don't know.

Well, I mean, the kick was blocked, so I guess you need more blockers. Do you need somebody who hits the guy who's jumping the line? Yeah, maybe. Coach Belichick would rush, too, on the block kick. I just refuse to believe that all these different things they do about how to you know how to behave on the line and yet the one thing people can do is just jump over the snapper yeah and he can't make contact right can't make contact to me it's like you know the other guy pulling the guy's head down as he jumped it was a set

play but there's a million things I can't do in the NFL that these players do. If you could hurdle a man and not touch him with your heel or anything, God bless you. I'd like to read the definitive list of all the games the Broncos have pulled out of their assholes since Tim Tebow.

Tim Tebow might not be in the NFL, but he blessed them with his Tim Tebow pull out of the ass juice. They're still your most hated team. I just can't stand it. I can't believe that they're a game behind the Pats right now. Yeah. It is strange.

I will say, though, to praise the Broncos, Von Miller is amazing. Awesome. I just can't understand how he times the snap. Like when you watch it, you're just like, how's he doing this? How are they not screwing it up how does he like what are his fast twitch muscles that he can just every time and what would it be like to block him like i don't think since lawrence taylor has there been somebody who if you're a tacker you're like oh my god right three hours ago just they're super it's still a great unit yeah it is and and is. And that's another team that has the big safety that lays it out

and makes guys afraid to go over the middle. When guys go over the middle on that team, they get hit. Michael Thomas got crushed yesterday during that game. But Thomas, same thing. All right, what do we got? What do you mean, Thomas? Thomas on Seattle. Oh, Earl Thomas. Yeah, yeah. All right, now we have –? What do you mean Thomas? Oh. Thomas on Seattle. Oh, Earl Thomas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, now we have, well, we didn't even pick. So we both said 14 for this. Yeah. And it is 14. And I don't know what we could do with that, but. I predict that that ends up at 14 and a half. Should not be close, that game.

Sunday night, Green Bay at Washington. You're going to be starting R. Kelly again? R. Kelly. That's how I see it. It's R. Kelly. Are we sure Washington's not good? I don't know. Why does it seem like Washington's good

and none of us want to admit it? 5-3-1. 5-3-1, but should have won that Cincinnati game. They should have won a couple other ones. Yeah. I'm looking at, yeah, they got killed on opening night. You barely beat them. Could have lost, yeah.

You easily could have lost that one. And the Lions should have lost to them and didn't. And then what happened in the tie? Didn't they miss the field goal? Somebody met the overtime tie against the Bengals. Didn't they mess that up goal somebody met the the overtime yeah tie against the bengals didn't they mess that up everybody everyone messed that up yeah yeah no they're they're they're a good team and that you know like i said the eagles are five and four in last place you can't sleep on anybody what do you have the redskins by three and a half over green bay and

i look forward to an entire week of what's wrong with aaron rogers which is one of the more fun subplots of the season. Well, you're going to like this even more because the Redskins right now are only favored by three. What did you have? I said three. So you won the week. I won the week.

I'm sorry. I broke your streak. It's 5-4-2-11. Before we do the Monday Night Game, let's talk about Sonos. It's a smart speaker system that streams all of your favorite music to any room or every room. Control your music with one simple app on your phone or iPad or any other device. Fill your home with pure immersive sound. Sonos brings your music together in one simple app. It's all your favorite music services. You control everything from the choice of songs to the volume to the rooms play your music in any room or every

room at once or play a different song in the living room bedroom even bathroom or play the same track in every single room how can you have a party without sonos you didn't do it you just you had your halloween party you didn't have sonos you weren't even there how did you know i didn't want to come because you didn't have Sonos you were at a soccer tournament at Disneyland no when I heard Sonos wasn't there

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by the way if you go there Sonos.com check it out I'll tell you what happened I had Sonos and it was stolen from the house

because I didn't have the other you didn't have SimpliSafe I didn't have SimpliSafe yeah get SimpliSafe and Son didn't have SimpliSafe. Get SimpliSafe and Sonos. I know.

You'll never lose the Sonos. Too much to remember. All right. Monday night. Houston at Oakland, but not really at Oakland. In Mexico City. I know, and I actually

accounted for it this time. I was going to bet whether or not you had that. And then I saw you're a low line and I was like, oh, he did. So Oakland, Houston. Mm-hmm. In Mexico.

It's fun. That's got to be our Don Julio game next week, right? We can't. Yeah, yeah Mexico. It's fun. That's got to be our Don Julio game next week, right? We can't take the first day. Yeah, yeah, we'll make that. Let's agree on that now. I put this right directly in the Vegas zone, and I had the Raiders by five. I went high because Vegas loves this team.

So they have a different zone for Oakland. I said six. It is six. Now, do we just make a teaser with everyone and just have Oakland the last game? Hopefully. I don't know if I trust the Raiders in Mexico. Remember when they were in Tampa

and they almost lost to that Tampa team? Oh, yeah, right. They decided not to fly back and spent the week in Tampa and then they almost blew that stupid Tampa game. So you think this is like a Thursday night game? Like we can't really even? I think in Mexico all bets are off. Interesting. I wouldn't put them in can't really even... I think in Mexico all bets are off. Interesting.

I wouldn't put them in a tease. That's for sure. Mexico all bets are off. It's weird. It's a weird vibe. You need to have big security vans driving the players to the games. You're stuck in your hotel the whole time. I don't know.

Weird vibe. I will say, though, that the Osweiler thing is at an all-time tsunami of anti-QB. Like Houston, what else are they doing in Houston? The Rockets are like a 500 team. All they're talking about in Houston is whether Osweiler was their starting QB or not. I just feel like O'Brien talks to his team. He's like, let's just win our division games.

Who are we kidding here? We'll go 6-0 in our division. Yeah. Three and five everywhere else. Yeah. Or three and seven. That's it. That's true. They go three and seven the rest of the thing. I think that's the pep talk in the locker room.

I really do. I don't understand how DeAndre Hopkins could be so useless in fantasy football when he's healthy. Yeah. It's the biggest crime of the season. He had four nobodies thrown to him last year. Yeah. And then had monster

stats remember the years fitzgerald would still get to 100 yards with just like dead guys throwing the ball basically i don't know just throw the ball on him eight times just throw 40 yard blue pass a lot of it doesn't make sense their running game should be much better that that offense should click by now 72 million is there anything else we didn't talk about? We didn't talk about... Oh, I have a quote for you. A quote? Yeah.

Let's hear it. Peter King on Tony Romo. Oh, good. Only the president of the Tony Romo fan club would suggest that one of the most beloved players in recent Cowboys history

should get his job back. But we're here with the president. Do you think he should get his job back? Yes, and he will. You'll see. I told you, I'm taking matters into my own hands. I don't like what's been going on. Even Romo is like, I'll back up

whenever. I'm going to ask you two questions in a row, and they're somewhat tangentially related. Uh-huh. Would you rather have the Cowboys win the Super Bowl or Romo somehow gets his job back and takes them to the super bowl and you don't know what's going to happen i'm guaranteeing you a cowboy super bowl yeah or i'm guaranteeing you romo is back in the mix and you have a 50 50 chance in the Super Bowl with Romo. That's a really awful friend of a question.

B. That's why he's the president of the Tony Romo fan club. He wins the game, I'm not worried. If we can get us to the Super Bowl, he's going to win the game. Here's another one. Would you rather Trump wins the election

and everyone at Jimmy Kimmel Live gets four years of material for the monologue. And it writes itself. Or Trump doesn't win the election. Do we get paid? Do we get our money back? Trump makes your job easier for the next four years. There's no meeting you have over the next four years where everybody's looking at each other going, nothing's going on today.

We got to go to Hollywood Boulevard and do something. I passed when it was time to vote. I'm going to pass again now. Great. Good choice. What would you say? Don't you care about the show? You want Hillary Clinton?

I think... If you compare this to a boxing match, was this Trinidad de la Hoya where... No, this was Tyson Douglas. This de la joya where no this was tyson douglas this was well but this was but she she had it and then let up i think i think this was about letting up no even though the odds are different yeah this was all the signs were there and we chose not to look at them interesting tyson it's like the guy's life was in an absolute spiral and he's in japan and he's got two people in his corner and he's not training

anymore and he's completely out of his mind and yet we're just like oh it's tyson it's fine and it was like that with the election where everyone's just looking at going well trump's not actually gonna win i mean she's gonna it'll be fine there's too much of that yeah that's that would be the boxing thing why what boxing no i thought trinidad i thought so de la hoya was up was ahead a lot and then just took it for granted it's kind of the same reasoning he took it for granted and then trinidad she took it for granted or do you think that there were there were people everyone just underestimated the fact that... Well, she didn't campaign in Wisconsin since the primary. But what does that do, though?

You really think that swings it? I think Beyonce doesn't swing it. I think the mannequin challenge doesn't swing it. I think she does all things that aren't relatable to the people in Scranton and the blue-collar worker who doesn't know what they're doing at this point. I said to Jack on Friday on the pod that clearly everyone underestimated how many people were unhappy in America. And she just represented the old way. She's status quo. People don't want the status quo anymore.

They're ready for anything. I think that's the part we underestimated. Listen, I don't think we're ever going to agree as a nation. If we can't come to terms, no one's going to agree. People are still crying over the Kate McKinnon sketch and saying it's the bravest thing they've ever seen. And then there's

people who want to strangle every SNL writer for putting that on the air. What are we doing? You don't want to comment. You can comment, Simmons. You didn't love that. Is it a comedy show?

I thought it was a time for comedy. Five days later, comedy. He hosted the show a year ago, less than a year ago. That's the thing. Give me a break. And if he said he'd do it next week, they'd let him host next week. He hosted the show. Give me a break. He hosted the show. Give me a break. He hosted the show a year ago.

Okay. And they, yeah. All right. She kind of dressed, she put on a Halloween costume and sang a Dead Man song, and that was it. It was a good performance. It was great. But, you know, when you see, we were talking about, like, when you see someone playing

piano on a comedy show, you think they're going to take their hands off the piano and the piano's going to keep playing. Like, where's the funny part? Yeah. Just didn just didn't say it all right i know you don't want to get into this that's fine no i i i'm torn on it because i i thought it was a moment but i also think that they missed a really good chance to chapelle stuff was great the chapelle was great yeah and that the thing for me is i was so happy that Chappelle was throwing heat again that that kind of overdid the other stuff. All right.

Well, let me just promote this. Cousin Sal Scherzing, 2-1 last week. I'm bouncing back 18-12 on the year. Nice. Tune in Friday at noon Eastern. And this week I'm going to Vegas, and you should come. I'm going to Ward Kovalev with a couple friends.

Go to that fight. Saturday night? Yes. Ward Kovalev. Who do we like in that fight? Two undefeated. Well, Ward is minus 145, and I like him a lot. Except I don't think we've ever won a minus 145 in boxing. Maybe not in football either. Ward is favored over Kovalev? Yeah. And you like

Ward? I like them. Yeah is favored over Kovalev? Yeah. And you like Ward? I like them. Yeah. I think Kovalev. You do? I would never bet against Kovalev. Really? Ever.

This should have a bigger USA-Russia thing, shouldn't it? Shouldn't this be? It really should. Did you see UFC? I didn't see it because my parents were here and we had a birthday dinner. And I would have happily paid for McGregor, but didn't see it. Right. I just saw highlights. My UFC friend said it was like a c plus the card well he he uh oh the whole thing the whole thing

yeah mcgregor was awesome and you know i can't speak to it i don't know who that guy fights so do you think ward kovalev if people don't get excited about this fight this week that's about well i think this will happen three times so i don't know what what the result will be this time kovalev killed a guy in the ring like three years ago they have to he he really did yeah like go google it he killed somebody so let's go cold i think he's terrifying i'm so afraid of kovalev you wouldn't go decision decisions minus 220 they need this to happen three times this is a a new trilogy. I think Kovalev is terrifying. Really? I would not bet on Ward.

All right. Yeah. Come with us. Saturday night? Yeah. I want to watch my daughter run around the soccer field. Oh, stop it.

Jimmy Kimmel Live. Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, is on tonight. Billy Eichner, music from Dawes. Later in the week, Casey Affleck, Garth Brooks, and Billy Crystal. And I'm at the Cousin Sal. Would you ask Dwayne Johnson if he's going to run for president in

2020? Yeah. Why wouldn't he? I think he would win. I think Kanye would win. I don't know. I think anyone could win now. Do you know that, so Jimmy and Adam were on, we taped the show Tuesday. Yeah. I heard you had to cut a lot of stuff. No, the first two things we did were

we set it up like Hillary was going to win the election because she was a 5-to-1 favorite. So the first topic was loser late-night TV shows because they lose Trump from the monologues. Talk about that for three minutes. Adam tells his whole apprentice how he got fired story and talks about his hair. We go that route. And then the second one was winner the rock. Cause Trump has now laid the groundwork for somebody to win a campaign.

Basically kept that in. Couldn't you now? Cause the way we talked about it was like he, Trump came so close, but it was like basically force of personality and social media audience equals you can win the presidency. Right. And the rock,

if Trump can win and Arnoldnold schwarzenegger and jesse ventura can be governors after what we just saw i feel like the rock can get 60 million votes we said this a few months ago i don't remember we did a like a pre-season podcast or something i called in and we said the rock that's the one guy who we would put i mean great speaker where does he fall short well especially, especially if you're going to take the presidency from Trump, assuming he hasn't been impeached in four years from now. It's got to be a performer and somebody who can handle him in the debates and just the stuff he does.

I would think he just steamrolled everybody. It's got to be another WWE Hall of Famer. Trump's a Hall of Famer. The Rock's a Hall of Famer. Trump's a Hall of Famer. The Rock's a Hall of Famer. Off and Seeker, the Samoans. I don't know. Campaigning in Des Moines. I don't know if it works.

I forgot to tell that to you. The winner is quote unquote other than all the people who won because Trump got elected. But I think the late night shows and CMB and Oliver, all those people, they get four more years of material now and topics. But then think the late night shows and CMB and Oliver, all those people, they get four more years of material now and topics.

But then also the WWE. A WWE Hall of Famer is the president. Just go watch the nine-second clip of him attacking McMahon and fake punching him and the crowd going crazy outside the ring. Spectacular. Thanks to FrameBridge, the official framing home of every gratuitous eBay purchase I've made in 2016. Go to framebridge.com, use promo code BS.

You get 15% off your first order. All shipping is free. Thanks to the ringer.com and the Ringer Podcast Network. Check out our new gamer podcast on Channel 33. It's called Achievement Oriented. It's hosted by Jason Concepcion and Ben Lindberg. Today they broke down, or this weekend they broke down the new Nintendo NES Classic. Listen to that on Channel 33.

Have you seen the Nintendo NES Classic? I didn't. I saw you were bummed out that they didn't make enough. You know, Tecmo Bowl, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, Donkey Kong, all this stuff is on there. We can play with our kids and it's not like landing an airplane. We can just play Tecmo Bowl and there's four plays to pick from like my son can handle that do we have to know someone to get one now or they just yeah there's there's black market all right good thanks to pearl jam for letting us use a lot of their songs for the bs podcast from their two 2016 wrigley

field shows go to pearl jam.com celebrate their 25th anniversary They're calling it PJ25 Lots of good stuff coming. Get ready I think we're going to have two more podcasts this week Play us out Eddie I don't have feelings within On the wayside I'm a person I never was And I don't have feelings within