The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 156: Holiday NFL/NBA + Basketball Unicorns With Joe House

Episode Date: December 22, 2016

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons brings on Joe House to discuss the best bets for NFL Week 16, Matt Barkley's friskiness (17:00), the best NBA Christmas Day games (24:00), LeBron's extended playing time (28:00), potential Nuggets trade options (32:00), Blake Griffin's injury history (36:00), NBA unicorns throughout history (47:00), Shaq and Wilt Chamberlain (1:02:00), Kareem's sky hook (1:05:00), George Gervin's finger roll (1:08:00), and the best college basketball class in decades (1:12:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and we are brought to you by th ringer.com which is loaded with good stuff this week i would say this is one of our best weeks since we launched at the beginning of june that's right we've only been around for six months i think it's month seven i posted a column there this week about nba unicorns that house and i are going to discuss in a second in copious detail because there's a whole part of that column that did not make sense for the column because I want to concentrate on the young guys, but made a lot of sense for this podcast. So we're going to talk about that.

We're going to do the Callaway Par 3, and we're going to talk a little college hoops. A lot of good stuff coming up. But one more thing. We are launching on Ringer's Channel 33 podcast feed a sports movie hall of fame podcast. And guess who the host is? It's me.

We're going to give you a little taste of it later in this podcast. But subscribe to Channel 33. And sports movies, I love them. Been writing about them forever podcast is a fun way to really bang out all different theories and ideas and a little rewatchability stuff and all that stuff

so I'm going to play you a little taste for that of that podcast at the end of this one but right now we're going to call Joe House let's do it. All right, here we go. Joe House on the line. How are you? Yeah, I'm spectacular.

I answered the phone singing, I'll come all ye faithful. Tis the season. I love it. I think that's in bad taste considering what happened with the Chargers security guard this week. That's a good joke. You're not taking that out. There was no... It didn't look like it was to completion.

Maybe that should come out. No. That should probably come out. It was some fluffing. Come on, man. Come on. It's funny. So we have a lot to accomplish today.

I think we should get the Callaway par three over with because part of me just wants to get any football pick you make over with. You've been so terrible. Fortunately, there are people out there gambling against you, which is great and makes me happy, and I'm glad people are winning money on your house. Well, they went to lock last week. Why? I was notionally 3-0 last week.

First of all, you and I went in together on the Carolina Panthers. Yes. That felt like the lock of the century. Yeah. I personally had the New England Patriots against the Denver Broncos. Yes, you did. That was never in doubt. Right.

And you took Cincinnati. I know. And there was a lot of good reasons to take Cincinnati. I expressed a preference for Pittsburgh, which did indeed bear out. I know. So I'm giving myself the 3-0 for last week. The Bengals. But having said all that, that probably gets me to like 40% on a season.

The Bengals hurt my feelings. Well, you're going to have an opportunity to do something about that today. You know, I'm on fire in the Super Contest. I started out 16-28, and now I'm like 37-33 or something, but I thought I was going to go 5-0 this week and somehow lost that Bengals win

and pushed on the Raiders. Anyway, the lesson, as always, is picking games is just torture. Hey, let's do our Callaway Par 3. We're going to talk about the Christmas schedule really quick, have a lot of thoughts on that, and then we're going to talk about NBA Unicorns, because when I wrote that column, I intentionally made one section a lot less longer than it could have been to leave a little meat on the bone for Joe House, but we're going to get to that. Nice. Nice. You know how leave a little meat on the bone for Joe House.

But we're going to get to that. Nice. Nice. You know how much I like meat on the bone. I know. Callaway par three. Oh, and by the way, got a lot of feedback on the food apps thing we did with Mallory last week.

And I was so hungover and discombobulated from the Ringer holiday party on Saturday that I did a double Postmates order of brunch and then dinner, which I really think should be called the Mallory. Are you okay with calling it the Mallory and not the house? The double Postmates order? Oh, no, no, for sure. Out of respect. I'm not a Postmates guy anyway. I'm a DoorDash guy.

Yeah, yeah, whatever. And caviar. I like caviar. The two Food App orders in the same day, I think, should be called the Mallory. No matter what the food app is. That's the Mallory, out of respect. We had an ongoing thread over the weekend. I think she went three for three Postmates. Each day she had a Postmates in there.

Yeah, we decided that you guys were probably destined to be together and just watch sports and get food delivered to your apartment or house or whatever and that would be all you did all day. And I think you'd both be very happy. I think it would have worked. Well, the thing I wrote was it would only last six months

because we would be dead and or broke. That's how long it would take before we ran out of money and or died from overeating. Probably broke and then dead. Broke and then dead. All right, we're going to do three picks. You want to go first?

Who do you like this week? Callaway par three, you're red hot. You're 1-0 the last one week. It's a streak I am taking. And speaking of streak, the stink streak has been quite powerful this season. I can't deny it. And I love you and I love the Cousins now. I did not join you this season in the Lions won't make the playoffs bet.

I feel like if there was a, you know, that you guys had a parlay of the Lions, the Niners, and the Browns. The Browns? Yeah. Yeah, wow. Yeah. I feel like if there's any way to create a little good karma at the end of the season to try and do something positive with the stink streak,

I'm going to, for you and the Cubs, take the Lions getting seven against the Cowboys. I think it's another Monday night game for the Cowboys. The Cowboys are now, after starting off the season red hot against the spread, 0-4 against the spread the last four weeks. Bad record under Jason Garrett at home against the spread when they're favorites. 11-25 is home favorites under Jason Garrett, including a delightful 1-12 against the spread after they haven't covered their previous game.

I'm taking the Lions and the points. Could be a low-scoring game. Lions and the points, that's for you and the Cubs. Well, here's the thing with that. We're taping this on a late Wednesday afternoon. It's going up Thursday. If the Giants blow the Eagles game, the Cowboys clinch the one seed and have nothing to play for, and that seven points is going to look super juicy.

Hey, do you know where Detroit ranks in DVOA? Overall team DVOA, not offense or defense? Everything. I bet they're in the 20s. I bet they're in the 20 to 23 range would be my guess. They're 26. Wow! Yeah, they're one spot ahead of Jacksonville

and two spots ahead of the San Francisco 49ers they have the 31th ranked defense on DVOA and the 14th ranked offense

the pro bowl selections were made yesterday and they had zero pro bowlers not one so and this is also

rude to Matthew Stafford well you know I keep the track of that the either or games so they're 3, 4, and 7 right now they've track of the either-or games. So they're 3-4-7 right now. They've won three games legit. They lost four legit.

And they had seven games that could have gone either way. So I don't know. If Dallas needs that game, what did you think of Dallas last week against Tampa? I thought Tampa could have won that game. Oh, Tampa could have won that game. Tampa's been red hot. They are now the team that you thought they could have won that game. Oh, Tampa could have won that game. Tampa's been red hot. They are now the team that you thought they could be. The difference in that game to me was Jameis.

I'm mad at Jameis for not running with the football. He could have made that Dallas defense play him straight up, play honest. He needed to make that defense honest. They dared him to throw the ball, and he threw it, and he threw it not well. But having said all of that, they were within a score and had the ball at the end of the game. Dallas is still, you know, the interesting thing on this 0-4 against the spread streak, their defense has been carrying them lately.

Their offense is still missing something. I don't know what. Dak had a wonderful game completion percentage-wise, but I wasn't, like, blown away. They still feel like they're missing a vertical threat. Speaking of against the spread, our friend Dave Tooley posted all the records against the spread this year. And the Browns are 2-12 against the spread.

And the Niners are 2-11-1 against the spread. So if we had just picked against them every week, we would be 23-4-1 just with everybody else who played those two teams. Incredible. And on the flip side, the Pats are 11-3 against the spread, which I know teams, occasionally a team will get to 12-4. I don't remember a 13-3. That's pretty high. Well, and including some big lines. And this week's another big line. I don't remember a 13 and three. That's pretty high. Well, and including some big lines. Yeah. And this week's another big line. I thought about taking them this week, but I don't

know what the weather's going to be like up there. Well, the pick that we're both taking together for the Callaway par three, the Houston Texans giving two points to the Bengals. I like this for two reasons. Macho man Tommy Savage. Oh, yeah! I'm going to beat Mandy Dalton's coming to town.

I got something in store for him. I love him. I thought he was weirdly effective for somebody who hasn't really practiced or thrown to the receivers all season. He comes in, all of a sudden there's 20-yard passes happening, and they're actually going to Texas receivers. I was really unimpressed by the Bengals last week. Pittsburgh was dying to give that game away. They did everything they possibly could. They fell behind early. They

kept settling for field goals. And the Bengals were just so incompetent offensively. In the second half, all they needed to do was have one drive to stave the momentum and they couldn't do it. And on the other side, just dumb penalty after dumb penalty. They lost their composure. And I went from thinking, that's a team we might have to watch out for a little bit as we get in December, like the team with nothing to play for that's a little dangerous. And they had that for about an hour. And then it just completely fell apart.

And I actually can't believe Houston's only in lane two. I guess, do gamblers think that macho man Tommy Savage is a downgrade from Brock Osweiler? You know, the line opened at three or three and a half, and then I saw it down, I saw it at one and a half, but two sounds right as well. You know, it's still only Wednesday. And then I tried to look at if there was an injury concern. They have Savage listed as probable. I don't know if that's the reason that the line went down.

It's Houston at home. They have to win this game next week to get to the game against Tennessee for the conference title, I mean the division title, and the straightaway entry into the playoffs. And I love Tom Savage. He was good. I have the great misfortune of having DeAndre Hopkins this season on my fantasy team. No catches with Brock Osweiler on the field last week.

Eight catches at 90 yards when Tom Savage came on the playing field. I also very much like, so Cincinnati I've been out on since that awful no-show against Dallas maybe six weeks ago. That was like, oh, that's that Andy Dalton guy. Look at him. He can't do anything. And their defense is adequate, but I think they have a tendency to give up when they're a little bit out of it. I thought that happened in the Pittsburgh game.

It kind of felt like they quit. They just started getting dumb penalties, and it looked like they just wanted to get out of there, which I thought was interesting. You know, one more thing you didn't mention. The Houston fans were so fired up that Savage came in, and they were just so tired of watching osweiler and like anything savage did the crowd went crazy i actually think the crowd's gonna be pretty good for this game i'm with you they want savage to succeed for sure there's also this crazy uh stat you know bill

bill o'brien likes to be a frontrunner. His team's 9-1 against the spread when he's going up against a, when he's favored against a team coming off a loss. Cincinnati, not good coming off of games against Pittsburgh. They tend to come off of games against Pittsburgh beat up. When they're going up against a team coming off a win, they're going 1-9 against the spread the last 10 games. So very much like the way the angles feel for this Texans-Cincy tilt. So for the third game, there's some ones I liked.

I actually liked this week. The Giants in Philly on Thursday night feels a little tasty, but just out of principle, I can't put Eli Manning in the Callaway par 3. I don't want to do that to our friends at Callaway. The Raiders at home against the Colts only given four points, and the Colts, I don't know how they're doing it. It's like basically Andrew Luck and T.Y. Hilton and the ageless Frank Gore, and that's it.

But the Raiders burned me last week. They hurt my feelings. They couldn't take care of business, and they pushed against the Chargers. I didn't like it. And then you have the Bucs in New Orleans only getting three, which is delicious. Really, I like this Bucs team. But I don't know.

It scares me to bet against Breeze in the Superdome with a Callaway par-3 pick, so I'm getting a little unconventional. If you've listened to this podcast, if you heard it on Monday, I like this Bears team. I think they're frisky. It's a frisky 3-11 Bears team.

They gave the Packers everything they could handle. Matt Barkley's playing for a job next year, and he might already be the 11th best QB in the league. They have skill position, guys. They're getting healthier. They're home. And the team that's coming in is the just outright pathetic Washington Redskins.

I'm calling them the Redskins. That's how disgusted I am by them. I'm using their inappropriate name. They no-showed on Monday night, as you predicted. They did everything that you were waiting for them to do. It was one of the most uninspiring performances of any night game this year. They do not deserve to win another game. I'm disgusted by them.

And I think the Bears get three and a half. I like it. I'm taking them. Oh, you saw three and a half. I only saw three. But either way, I understand exactly where you're coming from. I don't have any reason to disagree with you. And I have a very hot take.

Yeah. Not sure that I would try and sign Kirk Cousins to a big contract. Ooh. Okay. I don't think I'm ready for it. In fact, not sure that I'd rather on balance. And we'll have some time to look at the numbers once the season is over. Matt Barkley has been pretty effing good the last four weeks. Yeah, with a lot of drop passes, too.

Tons of drop passes. If I could have Matt Barkley next season for, say, $8 million versus Kirk Cousins for $24 million, you see where I'm going with this? How about Jay Cutler? Come on! Any interest in Jay Cutler? What are we talking about? None. None whatsoever.

Please, dear God, no. Don't let that happen. Please, no. The right move. Are the Bears going to re-sign Matt Barkley? Is Matt Barkley the new quarterback of the Chicago Bears? I actually think he might be under contract for next year. I don't know what the status is.

It's not illogical. The guy was, I think, the biggest high school recruit of his high school class. He went to USC. It wasn't like he was a bust at USC. He was pretty good. For some reason, the combine didn't love him. He goes to the Eagles. He's fourth in the depth chart, kind of lands in Chicago. He's behind Cutler and Hoyer, finally gets a chance. But, you know, this is a guy who has at least the pedigree. I think it seems like the two types of QBs that succeed when you least expect it are the guys with pedigree who just never got a chance. Like Tom Brady, I think is the best example of that. Or the guy who everybody just kept discounting over and over and over again,

and yet they just kept getting it done. And it's one of those two, and I think Barkley's got the pedigree. Anyway, Christmas Day. Me too. Oh, tell our friends what they can do on Callaway. So Callaway is offering everybody free personalization on the ChromeSoft golf balls through the end of 2016. So if you hear this, when are we putting this pod up? Thursday.

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promo code BS. Okay, Christmas Day. I have a hot take. Alright. I think Celtics-Knicks is going to be the game of the day. I have a hot take alright I think Celtics-Knicks is going to be the game of the day huh here's my take or here's my reason behind it

I know it's going to be a good game poor Zingas on Christmas day the unicorn we'll get to him in a second the Lativian gangbanger a healthy Derrick Rose and Mello going against a Celtics team that's really starting to play well and had a nice win in Memphis last night and has Isaiah Thomas back and rolling. And Brad Stevens has finally stopped

playing the three guard lineup at crunch time. So long, Marcus Smart. I hope you're renting. And has gotten a little bigger and it's really helped them at the end of these games. I think it's going to be a good game and there's something at stake too because Atlantic Division, the three seed is kind of lingering for everybody in the East right now. The next game, Warriors-Cavs. The Cavs have been decimated by injuries. And finals rematches, the hype game never really lives up to the hype.

Can you name one great Christmas game that was hyped weeks and weeks leading up to it that you actually remember? No, no. They always stink. They're not – yeah, there aren't individual games that come to mind. It's just always so great because Christmas really is such a – at the time when everything NBA-wise starts to cook. Yeah, it feels like the season.

And this week leading up to it, you know, the pot is starting to get warm. It is wonderful. Well, we also have two NFL games, too. But then the next game is Bulls-Spurs. I just have trouble watching the Bulls. I don't enjoy it. It's frustrating. I get frustrated by them because I like the players, but I don't enjoy it. It's frustrating. I get frustrated by them because I like the

players, but I don't like the mix of the players together, and I just don't enjoy them. Yeah. Here's my confession, even though we're talking about these five NBA games. When we get to Bulls, San Antonio, I'm switching over to the NFL. I'm switching over to football games. I want to watch Pittsburgh-Baltimore. And the Spurs are one of those teams that you just really watch because you love basketball. But you wouldn't watch them and go, oh, I'm going to try to figure out what's going on with the Spurs. We always know what's going on with the Spurs. They're the Spurs.

You're just checking it out. They're like an uncle. Did you see their comeback last night against Houston, though? Yeah, it was great. That was pretty impressive. But the Spurs are—I'm not learning anything when I watch the Spurs about the Spurs. The Spurs are what they are. They're a machine.

Okay. They're not human. They're just going to do their thing. We've got to talk about the Duncan thing quickly after this, too. So then the next one's Timberwolves-Thunder, which has the chance to be fun, but this Timberwolves team— Ugh. And then finally. I don't remember which one is the bad one, Jekyll or Hyde,

but they've been more of the bad one than the good one. They've been Jekyll. They've been a lot of, yeah, too much Jekyll. And then Clippers-Lakers is the final one. And that one had so much potential on paper. And then the Lakers started, you know, they lost some guys. Now Blake Griffin's hurt. I thought the Clips versus the Baby Lakers was going to be the best game of the day.

And now I'm not sure. But back to the – so which game of those five were you the most excited about? Golden State-Cleveland. Okay. Just being, you know, LeBron on the same floor as Steph and KD. It's got all the star power. I think it means so much more to Golden State than it does to Cleveland. Cleveland has so many built-in excuses now.

They've been decimated by injuries. Richard Jefferson played 35 minutes in Milwaukee on Tuesday night. They're playing guys I've never heard of. They don't have enough guys. They lost J.R. Smith. Love got hurt. They were two guys short anyway. They did a bad job with their roster.

I think Mo Williams screwed them over, but then Veragiao got hurt. And they're going to have to go over the tax if they want to really get the one seed. I guess my question is just throw it away, man. Who cares? Just get to April healthy. LeBron's averaging 39.4 minutes a game this month, which I think is – That's too many. That's a suicide mission.

That should be six less. He should be in the 33 range. And they shouldn't care. Before the season started, we batted around the idea of, you know, does LeBron care about getting the MVP? Does he want to go sort of validate last season's finals by coming into this season and putting on, you know, an MVP-level performance to get the MVP for this season? Well, from what we've seen in December, the answer would seem to favor yes,

especially Tuesday night, Milwaukee, which I was watching because I was doing this, finishing this unicorn column. Milwaukee kind of semi-embarrassed them at the end of November. Giannis came out, went full Greek freak on them, and

Cleveland was kind of in a fight. It was one of those games. And there was a lot of talk about how Giannis really took it to LeBron, which he did, and which we talked about on this podcast. He was not afraid. So I was really interested Tuesday night to see, you know, is LeBron – did LeBron take that game personally or not? LeBron came out and the Cavs were like locked in.

It was like 44 to 27 at one point. But to their credit, the Young Bucks came back and it was Jabari and Giannis just doing their thing. Giannis had a huge second half. Jabari was basically unguardable. And they sent it to overtime. LeBron ends up making the big three in overtime after Giannis fouled out.

LeBron plays 47 minutes in that game. That was the first time. First of all, that's crazy. But second, that was the first time I started to think, like, maybe he does want this MVP. Maybe he's annoyed by the Westbrook love and Harden and the Rockets and how great Durant's playing it.

Like, he's just like, all right, I'm still here. I'm going to lay this smack down. Now, if he feels that way on Christmas Day, then that becomes the must-watch game of the day, including the football games. If he's just like, I'm still here. Kevin Durant hasn't beat me for a decade. I'm still here.

I'm not afraid of you guys. And he comes out and does the thing. But I think if Love is not playing or if he's injured, that really hurts them because Love was the big X factor as we predicted. He looks like Kevin Love again and those three guys

can beat anybody but if he's compromised I don't know. So you've half talked me into it. I didn't have to say anything. You talked yourself into it. The Warriors it's a little unfair

in the regular season. They annihilated the Jazz last night. All the basketball nerds were excited for Jazz Warriors. I was too. Jazz has been playing well. Go Bears have been on fire. And the game was over in 10 minutes. It was a good benchmark game.

It was a good game to see where the Jazz kind of stack up. It was grues good benchmark game. It was a good game to see where the Jazz kind of stack up. It was gruesome the first, I don't know, seven minutes. How long before anybody scored? Well, the issue with them, and this is why I have trouble taking them seriously, I think they're a good regular season team, but they have a little bit of the same issue the Celtics have. When you walk on a court that has Durant and Curry and Thompson on it

and you don't have any of the best three players in the game, it's a problem. At least the Celts have Isaiah who can Jedi mind trick himself into thinking he's one of the best three players in the game. Utah doesn't have anyone like that. That Isaiah, I don't know statistically how it ranks over the history of the league, but 44 points on 16 shots is stupendous. We can't let that go by.

Isaiah, 44 points on 16 shots. And I'll go further. So he's at 26.6 a game, points scored, six assists. He's only playing 33 minutes a game and he's he's been battling a couple injuries his stats aren't that great for what he like he's only 36 percent from three you know his field goal is only 44 like he he's he's played more efficiently than he has but man that dude he's he's moved on the short list for me of the under six footers. You know, Iverson will be number one for life.

And I'm not positive how tall Chris Paul is. I've stood next to Chris Paul. I think he's like 5'11 and a half, six feet. And he might wear basketball shoe lifts to make it seem like he's 6'3". Like Nash is 6'3". Nash is like Chuck Klosterman. You meet him, you're like, oh my god, you're tall.

I had no idea. He's big. Yeah, he's big and tall. Chris Paul feels like he's about 6' to me. But what Isaiah is doing, Isaiah is listed at 5'10". He's like 5'7.5", 5'8". I agree. I don't do these any time. If he's 5'8 and'8", I'd be, you know, give me a turkey sandwich.

The Celts are just a massive trade candidate right now. 16 and 12, it's time to do something. You have them in the low 50s for wins this season. Well, you know who I'm looking at is Farid on the Nuggets. Yeah, the Nuggets are the best trade partner for everybody. The Nuggets in Orlando are the two that are just like, come make a trade with us.

The trade machine is open in our office right now. But Farid, you know, Mike Malone, because I've been watching some Denver, because I've been scouting some players, and Mike Malone quickly realized that he had to kind of stagger the minutes of people and now go a little smaller.

And it hurts Farid and it hurts Nurkic are the two guys that are going to lose. One of those two guys is eventually going to lose with where this is going. Farid makes like $12 million a year. And for the Celts, like they got amir johnson can match it that picks all that stuff but i i personally think denver is going to go the other way and take a big swing at somebody i could see them doing the old they're built for the three for one you know one team i was looking at was new orleans so new orleans basically has nothing right they just have the brow and they have uh brow. And they have... Check the aloe.

Check the aloe from Kentucky? Kansas. Yeah, was he top of the second round? Yeah, he's good. He looked pretty good, right? He got the DNP last night, though. He was on my radar. Then he DNP'd him.

But if you look at the West, I think Portland is the 18th and they're 12th and 17th. And if you're New Orleans, would you sacrifice your lottery pick, which wouldn't be in the lottery if you made a trade and got a couple guys, and send that to Denver for two of their guys? And if you're Denver, do you think about doing that to reduce some of the clutter,

add another asset, and you go that way? You know what I mean? Denver's right there on that cut line with Portland for the playoffs. The teams battling for that last slot are Portland, Denver, and Sacramento. And then the Lakers and the Pelicans are two or three games behind there. But Denver, to me, has so much more upside than Portland does. Portland's like a two-man team team and they can't guard anybody. The pieces don't make sense.

And they're just stuck with these bad contracts that they signed. It's really hard for them to get better. Myers Leonard last night. Yeah, they have, they have apparently had some feud going, but, uh,

but Denver, I like the pieces. It's just that they need to flip two of the pieces into two different pieces. And they also, the Jamal Murray pick is going to be really good for them. But I think something's going to happen. We should talk about Blake before we do Unicorns. Kevin O'Connor had a really good piece about, right after Blake got hurt again,

about how this might be it for Blake. Blake as a superstar, the window might be closing now because he's had so many injuries. So here, Kevin O'Connor listed all the injuries that Blake Griffin has had on the ringer in the little piece that he wrote. Broken kneecap, meniscus tear, partially torn quadriceps, knee bone bruise, sprained knee, and strained hamstring. And that was all to his left leg. And he's also had a back stress fracture, a right elbow staph infection, and a badly broken hand last year.

And now he's having a minor surgery on his right knee. And if you read up on any of this stuff, the one knee leads to the injuries. And the one leg, once the funky stuff happens with the one leg, the other leg's overcompensating because you're leaning on it more and then that leg starts to go too and now you're in trouble my question to you is are we hitting an amari stoudemire type of point with blake where if you remember with stoudemire oh my god this guy's amazing jesus how do we stop him? And then, you know, the legs start to go. The Suns decide not to resign him.

He goes to the Knicks. He gives the Knicks a good half of a season before his body breaks down. He's never the same. Are we headed that way with Blake? I think so. I think we might sort of already be there. What struck me the most from Kevin O'Connor's column, which I enjoyed, was the shot distribution and how many of his made field goals come from the mid-range rate versus the dunk rate. Now, obviously, he was not going to be able, it was not sustainable for him to dunk at the rate that he was dunking

at when he came into the league. But it's a dramatic difference. Can I defend him on that? I'm going to defend him quick. Go ahead. I think that was partly a conscious effort to reduce the injury risk. I think he can still get up. I think what he realized and what the team realized was save your body during the regular season.

The way he played, I was going to those games. He was just completely reckless. He was going to get hurt. And he did a couple times. He's getting undercut. He's having guys clothesline him. And I think he really started trying to pick his spots and work on his low post game. He's a better passer when he's 20 feet from the basket. And it did seem like it was a

little bit of a conscious effort. I didn't feel like it was one of those things like Sean Kemp, who lost it for different reasons. But all of a sudden, remember, Sean Kemp wasn't above the rim anymore. It wasn't like that with Blake. Anyway. Yeah, I'm not suggesting that he's lost the ability. He just doesn't have that same bounce. I mean, he's not up and down. The singular skill that made Rodman a unicorn, right? Yeah. He had bounce for years.

He had a career of bounce. Blake doesn't have that bounce. I think now is the time to trade Blake. Right now. Because of this reinvention. But if you're another team, he can opt out of his contract this summer and he just had another surgery

and you'd have to be pretty desperate. Desperate or building. Look, here's my proposal. This is where I think he should go. The Wizards? This is the team that I think makes the most sense. No. No.

The New York Knicks. Oh, I've seen this one. I do like this. Blake for Melo makes a lot of sense to me. I love the scoring punch that Melo brings let's say every other game. That's about the rate that he's at right now. It seems like he

took over last night's game when he gets hot and dominant. Was it last night or the night before? In any event, that scoring punch, that addition to the Clippers would be potent. I mean, I love what Melo represents and what the Clips sacrifice.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wouldn't do that if I was the Knicks. Oh! Yeah. Why not? I just think it's a lot to give up for a guy that I'm not positive he can stay in the court anymore. I love the way Blake was playing in November. What do you mean by a lot to give up? What is Melo doing for the Knicks?

Melo is still... We talked about this last week. I think we did. But when the Celtics played Westbrook two Sundays ago, and in the last five minutes you just need a guy to match up against the other team's guy, Mello's one of those guys. There's somewhere between nine and 14 of those guys in the entire league. And you're playing against, I don't know, Cleveland, Oklahoma City, Houston, whoever,

and James Harden's feeling it, and he hits a three, and the crowd's going crazy, and there's three minutes left, and you go to Carmelo, and he gets you a basket. There's just not a lot of guys like that. And he still has that skill. I don't know if I would love playing with him. You know what? The Knicks have that guy. He's in this column we're about to talk about.

KP? Let's let him give him a chance. Let's see if he's that guy. I think the Clips have to throw in something else. I can't believe I'm saying that. Yeah, Blake's hurt. I don't. Trading for a guy who's hurt.

Whenever they say three to six weeks it's always like seven not for mike conley mike conley was right back god bless mike conley nice nice nice game last night listen that's a memphis grit and grind they just operate they don't have time for pain in memphis you're right verno verno that's verno country you get back on the court. Why are they trying to trade Tony Allen, by the way? I don't know. So anyway, my point on Blake, I don't feel that strongly about it one way or the other, but it was the first time I saw a finish line for him

when I read some of the stuff this week. Because he's only 27. It seems like he just showed up. Yeah, he could still play eight years. That mid-range, he's only 27. It seems like he just showed up. Yeah. He could still play eight years. That mid-range, he's good at it. He's good at that mid-range game. Mid-range and rebounding?

Well, the other thing, the reason I would take a gamble on him and the reason that I think he would be such an interesting fit with Porzingis and such a terrible fit with Derrick Rose is I do think teams should run the offense through him. And it's kind of a waste to have Chris Paul on his team. You know what I mean? It's almost like if Chris Paul was on the Milwaukee Bucks, that would be bad for Giannis. But you want Giannis to have the ball and create and do Giannis things

and it makes him more invested. I think Blake as the Chris Paul sidekick, I've never really totally liked it. I get that. I think he would be quite good with Derek Rose because that would let Rose be more of the two guard that Rose in his heart has always wanted to be.

Derek Rose, my top nine or ten of people I would not want to play basketball with. Would not want to play with. Tate, would not want to play basketball with for two and a half hours. Would not want to play with. Tate, would you want to play basketball with Derrick Rose? Oh, good. Derrick's got this. I'll stand over here, and if he gets double teamed, I might get the ball. Go, go. You do your thing, Derrick.

I have a question for you. I don't want him coming over to my house at 1.30 in the morning, and I don't want to play pickup with him. Blake Griffin was drafted in June 2009, which was four months before my book came out, four months before 30 for 30 launched, and I believe before your son was born. That's true. My son was born in August 2010. How many NBA games do you think Blake Griffin has played? This is now year eight of his NBA career, if you are going by the fact that he was drafted in the 2009 draft.

So there's roughly, that should be like 640 regular season games? Yeah, I would say. Eight full seasons? I would say there. Or seven full seasons? Well, it's seven and a third. So the max would be about 590. It would be 600. Let's say the max he could have played is 600.

How many do you think he's played? 445. Yeah, 436. Just under 450. He's played 436 games in eight years. Feels right. Feels right. It's not great.

I'll tell you that much. Because guys get injured more often when they get older, not when they're young. And it's a shame. You know, it starts, he misses his whole rookie year. He hurts his knee. It's out for the whole year. It's like, oh, my God, the Clippers, they've done it again.

They figured out how to ruin somebody else's career. He hasn't even started playing with them yet. And then he goes through, and as we've discussed many times in this podcast 2014 the playoffs was just awesome in that warrior series and just as good in the spur series and oh man no no my bad he was awesome in the spur series in round one and then that rocket series ran out of gas near the end of round two because he was playing like 40-plus minutes a game. But he proved to me, and I think he proved to you too, that he's a guy that could be one of the top five players in the league if he could stay on the floor and he's being used correctly.

Now it might be over. That might happen in the next. Okay, we're going to talk unicorns. But first, let's talk about Sonos It's the smart speaker system that streams all your favorite music To any room or every room Control your music with one simple app On your phone or iPad

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and Embiid? I'm going to answer this question, but I also want to tackle, I have one major beef with the piece, which I loved. I love when you do pieces that have video clips because it means I'm going to watch the video clip.

I'm going in. This is a weekend endeavor for me to go in and watch the clip. Of those three, right now, this very second, my very favorite is Giannis. Me too. I can't believe how he covers the court. It's literally unbelievable to me. Yeah, it's almost like he's an alien.

If we created a seven-foot alien to play basketball, I think he would have been the closest that we came as a human being to resembling what the alien does. And it does remind me, we always just talk about Scotty and MJ in the mid-'90s when they were really humming and they would just cover these huge acres of the court together and warp speed. And then LeBron was like that, obviously.

This guy's like that. The chase down box. I couldn't believe on YouTube there wasn't a Giannis chase down block montage because I looked. Somebody get on that. One of the crazy Bucs fans, go make a Giannis chase down Bucs montage, please. It can't be that hard to do that. The thing about Giannis that makes him a little different than LeBron

is LeBron would change speeds, and you would know that he was changing speeds. Giannis seems to be at that speed all the time. That's what's so remarkable to me. He's like, whenever the change of possession occurs from the defensive end, he's already, you know, he's four steps inside his own free throw line. It's just incredible. I wrote that it looked like he's stepping over landmines and bear traps, the way he runs. LeBron was always, especially at his athletic apex, which ranks among anything I've ever seen in my life, he had the gears

and he'd get the steel and he would just turn on the jets and he would just zoom. And I wrote that he shrunk the court because he did. When you watch it, you're like, wow, the court felt small in that play. Giannis, as you said, it's one speed, but it's these long, deceiving steps that you don't realize he's traveling 15 feet per step, 20 feet per step, or whatever the hell is going on, and all of a sudden he's going from point A to point B in three steps, and it's 40 feet. I love it when there are some Eurostep pics of him.

I know Greece is in Europe, but those are not Euro steps. Those are something else altogether. No, they're alien steps. They're alien steps. Yeah. Yeah. I have a question for you. One thing on Giannis, he can't really shoot yet.

I love how active he is, though. He's one of those guys, he's not standing around. It's like if somebody else has the ball and they're about to shoot he's flying to the basket with his arms up and he already has a couple subtle basketball things that i've seen like the cleveland game on tuesday night drove the guy into the paint pushed off did a little 11 foot fall away with his giant ray munson hands and uh i don't know he. I could see him developing a really good low post game with like a jump hook and a spin move. And his spin move, he'll be able to go 20 feet in the spin.

He needs to learn how to shoot the threes. But the best asset he has for him, the thing that Porzingis, I guess, has with Carmelo, but Carmelo's getting older. And Philly, who the hell knows what Embiid has. But to have Jabari as his wingman is the best asset for him because Jabari fills in all of the crunch time scoring blanks that Giannis just isn't ready for yet.

You know, Giannis can get in the paint and make plays, but Jabari's like, did you see the play in the Cleveland game on Tuesday night when Jabari just backed somebody down old school and did up fakes and did old guy pickup basketball and scored? And it was like, I haven't seen that move since Bernard King. Where the hell did that come from? I haven't seen that move in 30 years. So I'm glad Jabari is black and I love those two. And the last thing I was going to say is I think they've got pole position over Townsend Wiggins.

It's not even close. I'd much rather have Giannis and Jabari than Townsend Wiggins, wouldn't you? Oh, I think so. Yeah. The thing that I'm really intrigued by with Milwaukee is Middleton. When he comes back. If he can come back, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you know, that could be really something to build on, right? Yeah, and they have – if you wanted to make them like a stealth sleeper in the East Conference this year, they got to improve the De La Vedova spot because that guy plays crunch time for them. That's not acceptable. He couldn't even play in the finals last year. I like him. Great teammate.

I get it. Good chemistry guy but even if you put in i don't know jamal crawford in that spot it helps them just any any any sort of combo guard who doesn't need to have the ball who can shoot and make a couple things happen but they they're not that far away. I was texting with Haral Bob last night, and he was saying that he thought they were the logical pick for what East team without LeBron is the next East team to make the finals. Wow. Who gets the invite when we finally have a finals that doesn't have LeBron in it,

which might not happen until 2026. And he said his money was on Wucky. Who did you say, Tate? Toronto. Yeah, I was going to say. I mean, I guess it's Toronto now, but I wouldn't say they're not going. The thing with Toronto is they need to make a trade. They're not getting there with the team they have right now,

but they have the pieces for the Boogie trade. If they want to get serious about boogie and lay down Chipotle, the guy they drafted last year, I call him Chipotle because I can't pronounce his name. They lay down that guy and they lay down Bruno, Bruno Cabasio, who was a year away from being a year away. They probably have to give up Pat Pat to get boogie though, right? They have to give up something of value.

He doesn't help the Kings though. I'm not arguing that, but They have to give up something of value. He doesn't help the Kings though. I'm not arguing that, but they have to give up something. Or put Giannis on the table. Maybe they don't get him, but they need to, they need to, they need something like that.

They need a third guy. They really want to beat the Cavs. I don't think it's going to be just DeRozan and Lowry as much as I like them. Oh, you meant Valanchunas? Valanchunas. Jonas?

Jonas. You said Giannis. I know. I've got Giannis on my brain, my bad. I will say, though, I did feel like I gave Porzingis a little bit of the short shrift in the column because I was so excited about Giannis. And I just want everyone to know how much I love Porzingis and love watching him and love having a seven foot three Dirk in my life who can protect the rim. It's really, it's breathtaking.

I'm happy for the Knicks fans. The Knicks fans almost don't know what to do. They're just so conditioned. They have hope. I know, but they, it's, it's such a foreign emotion for them.

They, they, it's, it's, it's like, uh, I don't even know. It's like when tom hanks got off the island and cast away and there's just like he's looking around and there's seafood everywhere it's like

oh my god what what's happened where am i there is a difference there is still a difference between um the zinger at home and zinger on the road he he really is propelled by that MSG crowd. They love him so much. It's palpable. He can feel it. And that's why at this stage I still give a slight nod to Giannis. But I have a question for you. Yeah. Do you know who is presently leading the NBA in blocks per game?

Isn't it the Stifle Tower? It is not the Stifle Tower. It is not the Stifle Tower. Who is it? It's Anthony Davis. Yeah. And this is my quibble. This is my quibble with your column. Nobody wants to read about how great Anthony Davis is.

People have been running that for three years. But he belongs, if we're talking about this era of unicorns, he belongs with the other three dudes. I covered that, though. He's evolutionary Mikhail. I covered that in the column. I strongly disagree with that.

I violently disagree with that. Explain your disagreement. And, you know, this is one, maybe Kurt Goldsberry, I know he's busy propelling the Spurs machine to the upper echelon, as always, could do a shot chart breakdown for us. It took me four and a half minutes in watching the McHale clip that you embedded, which was wonderful, to watch him make a 15-footer, to actually face the basket. No, he did that.

It's just they didn't put that in the clip, but he was good at that, especially in the mid-'80s. he was really good at the face-up because he had to be. That was the only way he could get people to come out to guard him. But the vast majority, what we know him for, what he's known for, is the beautiful, poetic footwork around the basket and how efficient he was catching the ball and in a single motion scoring the ball over the top of the defense from within eight feet of the basket

that was that's his true skill the thing he'll always be known for that is an element of Anthony Davis's game but Anthony Davis is a is a face up offensive, the likes of which I can't come up with a comparison for him, with the inside and the outside. That's why he's the evolution. He evolved. He has so much more game than McHale. Oh, now you're hurting my feelings. I agree. Anthony Davis has never played.

What Hall of Famer is Anthony Davis? He's had the luxury of playing with. It's true. You know, I guess what I was thinking, because Mikael played 30 years ago, and the goal 30, 35 years ago, the goal during the 80s was to get as close to the basket as possible at all times, right? Yeah. And I always compared it to a hockey power play

where you're on a power play. You're just, you're nudging everyone closer and closer and closer. And that's what you did. And there's some good examples. Like if you ever watched the classic games, I think the best one is like the 81-6 or Celtics. It's just like, nobody's more than 20 feet from the basket.

It was just how they played. And I think McHale crafted his game to that. But I do think that he could have, if you put him in this era, I think he would have figured it out. I think he would have been the perfect stretch five. He started shooting threes near the end of his career. But my point is, like, with Davis, I think if you put Davis in 1982, all he would have been doing was working on post-up moves

and trying to get as close to the basket as possible because he's so many centers back then but now it's small ball it's a wide open game and you want to face up and now these all these big men whether it's Embiid Porzingis Anthony Davis all of them play facing as an advantage versus back to the basket and I don't know which way I like, what way do you like more? I like both. I mean, I love the freewheeling, you know, mid eighties, the freewheeling game of the mid eighties before Pat Riley ruined basketball with the heat and the Knicks.

Yeah, exactly. And I love this game as well. I think we've gone too far now. I do, guys attacking the rim. That's why I think Russell Westbrook deserves all of the accolades. But he attacks the rim. He's a rim attacker. that is a real throwback kind of guy in that respect, which is, you know, I'd like to see more guys going at the rim. There was an interesting thing on the Twitter, speaking of H-Bob, where I'm not sure who started it, but like this idea of limiting charges or reducing charges as a call would entice people back in,

back towards the basket, as opposed to everybody pushing back out. Interesting idea. And I very much like it because I hate charges. It's the hardest call in the game. You know whose fault that was? Who? It was two people. It was John Stockton and Jason Kidd.

They're the ones that started that shit. John Stockton, festival that little dirty seemingly nice Utah point guard who was like very secretly one of the dirtiest players in the league and was always up to stuff by the way mad respect to John Stockton I would have loved him if he was a Celtic but man that third was duty he had a feud with Steve Kerr he feuded with Steve Kerr they would like almost getting fistfights during games because he was always elbowing and chipping and sticking his leg out and doing all that stuff

but yeah he started and Jason Kidd mastered it Jason Kidd turned it into like a psychological weapon you know he was just so good at shuffling his feet

and stopping it was almost unfair but that's an interesting idea he had that advantage that physical advantage that was his singular physical advantage on offense, too.

He's great at it. I see your point on Davis. I do feel like Mikael and Davis have similar DNA. I don't feel like Giannis has. Giannis, Porzingis, and Embiid. Porzingis definitely has the Dirk DNA. He's just a much taller Dirk who protects the rim better. Embiid, I'm not sure what to make of him yet.

I just haven't... Do you feel... I don't have enough of a sample size with Embiid yet. You did a... I think you did exactly the right thing in the column by calling him incomplete. We don't know yet. But what we've seen so far has been so tantalizing. Speaking of a guy who's not afraid.

Well, so I did three versions of the NBA unicorn. The ones we had or haven't seen before but might be replicable, which is the traditional unicorn. The one we'll probably never see again, which is the tweener unicorn. Because you never know. Like Jordan is a tweener. I'm pretty sure we won't see Jordan again. But Jordan was the evolution of David Thompson.

And after Jordan, Vince and Kobe for a few minutes there felt like they were going to be the evolutionary Jordan and then they weren't. So it makes me think that we might see that again at some point. And then the final one is the true unicorn, which, will just never happen again so the on the traditional unicorn list the two i had the toughest with were shack and uh and will chamberlain because i do feel like they're related in some way like shackq was his generation's version of Wilt just this unstoppable dude but Wilt was a lot more graceful than Shaq was sure Shaq was like people they referees couldn't even figure out how to officiate him Wilt same thing but also had like these weird turnarounds and finger rolls and things like that hey you could talk me into those guys being true unicorns. The true unicorns, here's the list.

Kareem, Earl the Pearl, Pistol Pete, Dr. J, Adrian Dantley, Gervin, Larry Legend, Magic. Mikhail is now off the list because Anthony Davis showed up. Hakeem, Barkley, Manupal, Dennis Rodman, Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook. Is there anyone missing on that list for you? I don't think so. One thing I was surprised by, and I actually did this, it's sitting next to me right now, was Manute Bull.

I was surprised for you to have included him. You directed us to go to page 340 of the book of basketball. I did that, and then I went on YouTube and watched some clips. He was not only a remarkable basketball player and deserving of that unicorn status, but what a remarkable human being. I know. But I had time to spend with my new bowl today. I've never in my life, you know,

you had those old seats in the Boston Garden, which you've sat in, that my dad had. The players would walk by us to come in and have the game. And when Manute walked by, it was to watch the people's faces.

It was just unbelievable that we belonged to the same human species as him. I've never seen a human being like that. He's seven foot seven. It was unbelievable. You and I went to the Boston Garden and sat in those seats and watched Golden State

beat the Celtics with Tim Hardaway as a rookie. And Manute, I think Manute made three threes that game. And not only that, but then we went out and you had to listen to me complain about how we drafted Michael Smith over Tim Hardaway for the next three and a half hours.

I was devastated. Yeah, we took Michael Smith right in front of him. Oh, yeah. It was horrible. That was right. That's exactly what happened. That was like 27 years ago. I still haven't gotten over that.

Pretty good. Just to go through these guys because, you know, the young kids, the kids out there, they think basketball started with Shaq. Kareem, on top of all the other reasons, his durability compared to everybody else in the league is just impossible. But I've never seen anything like the Skyhook. Nobody's ever even tried to replicate it. Not even close. And I feel like we're never going to see it again. I don't,

whatever he did to figure out how to do it and all the reps he put into it, nobody's doing that in AAU and ninth grade basketball in high school. Who's, who the fuck's going to try to do a sky hook for three hours a day for seven years? There's nothing to even compare it to, right? No, nothing. It's the most unstoppable shot. If you're down one with 12 seconds left, at any point in your life as an NBA fan, you could pick any player to take the shot and get you a good basket. You'd run a play for the cream skyhook.

Let's just say it's the most reliable two points we have. Earl the Pearl, I would encourage people to go on YouTube and watch him because just the herky jerkiness yeah has not been dervish it's just i don't even know how to describe it i don't know how he learned how to do it the the spin moves and the stop and starts black magic he's the og of the start and stop yeah here and he here in the nicknames black jesus and black magic he would go into playgrounds and they would call him black jesus other black people think about Yeah, he earned the nicknames Black Jesus and Black Magic. He would go into playgrounds and they would call him Black Jesus, other black people.

Think about that. How good do you have to be to earn the nickname Black Jesus? So Pistol Pete, who's gotten a lot of love. I think Pistol Pete's gotten, you know, multiple books and documentaries, all that stuff. He's been properly recognized. Dr. J, who kind of got lost in the shuffle a tiny bit, but you and I were both old enough to see him in person.

And seeing him on the 20 feet away from the hoop on the left, swooping in with that weird swoop thing he used to do, and all of a sudden he was at the basket. I wonder if Giannis can learn how to do that. I believe so. Giannis is five inches taller than Doc in his

bigger hands. They should force him to watch Doc videotapes. Because if he learns that swoop move, it's unstoppable. Adrian Dantley, which is a weird one to put on here, but I just don't feel like... Where are we going to see a six foot three low post specialist again?

Tate, think about that. It's crazy. He's the same size as Steph Curry, and he's posting up Kevin McHale and scoring on him. Makes no sense. He had games, Bob Ryan once called it a Dantley, where he would have like, back in the old days when the box score was just

like field goal made field goals made free throws made in points that was the box score and Dantley would have these games would be like 4 25 33 25 free throws wasn't he the scoring champ a couple times yeah he was 30 a night for six straight years. And so was George Garvin, who's also on this list. Garvin, 6'8", 102 pounds. And the finger roll, I actually think, has not gotten enough credit. And the finger roll montages on YouTube are not good enough yet. He would do finger rolls from 13 feet. I've never seen him do that. That was my era of truly falling in love. He would do finger rolls from 13 feet.

I've never seen him do that. That was my era of truly falling in love with professional basketball because the bullets and the spurs. Bobby D. That's right. Bobby D shut him down. That's right. Yeah. Larry Bird doesn't need to be talked about.

Neither does Magic Johnson. We talked about McHale. Hakeem. Neither is Magic Johnson. We talked about Mikhail. Hakeem, I mentioned the backstory. I covered this in my book, in the column I glossed over it. But in my book about just Hakeem in Nigeria playing soccer every day and trying to become a professional soccer player and having soccer player footwork. And that's all he did.

And then at age 15, somebody was like, you should try basketball. You're tall. And he just started playing basketball almost with like a fresh brain and applied all the weird soccer footwork to how he wanted to play basketball. And was also one of the greatest athletes in the history of the league and everything. And a really nasty competitor, which he never got enough credit for because he was so nice. And it all just melds into this unstoppable inside-outside monster who one year averaged 6.7 combined blacks and steels on top of the 24-14. What he did to David Robinson. Oh, yeah.

And he kind of, he didn't ruin David Robinson's career, but he definitely altered it. So he's on there. So he's on there. Barkley's on there. I was so happy. There's a great Barkley YouTube clip that I put in this column because Barkley to me is the all-time original unicorn.

I know I'm never seeing that again. It's never happening. I felt that way in the moment. I felt that way now to watch a 6'4 guy get 22 rebounds in a game and dunk over people and take rebounds coast to coast it just was not happening and i i guess if like russell westbrook gained 55 pounds and kept all of his athleticism

would be the best way to describe it that's that's pretty good that's pretty good, I think that's right. Super out of shape for us at Westbrook. Manoopal we covered. Rodman. Young Rodman was something to behold. It just, it was amazing. Really all Rodman. There was no Rodman that wasn't

worth, you know, the price of admission. Well, young Rodman. His bulls years were spectacular. Yeah, yeah. That was like tail end Rodman. Those early Pistons years, he comes in, he's got the tight shorts, he's all legs and hips. He had no torso.

He's just hopping around. Every time he ran, it was just like watching those births of when a horse gives birth to a pony and the pony's just kind of scrambling around trying to stay on its feet. He kind of ran like that. And he would just hop and hop around and moved at warp speed. And it was the first and only guy I've ever seen who could guard Larry Bird.

He actually could guard him. And he could guard Magic. And he gave MJ problems. He could guard everybody. And he was an insatiable rebounder. He was awesome on fast breaks, and I just haven't seen anybody like him since. I'm not saying he can't be. Maybe he should be on the traditional unicorn. Do you think we'd see another Rodman?

I guess if you add in all the personality stuff, no. I don't think so. I really, there isn't anybody that I can think of since that you would even sort of put in the same conversation. Because of how relentless his motor was. Right. And that defense. One thing that is curious, Kawhi didn't make any of these lists. Kawhi didn't even come up in the conversation.

Yeah, Kawhi should have made one of these lists. He at least should have been. Well, I don't know. We've seen variations of Kawhi before, haven't we? I don't know. I just now was trying to think about guys that I think are great defenders for the purposes of this Rodman comparison, which I don't think we're going to get anybody near. But Kawhi is the current sort of, you know, the modern best wing defender, not making any of these lists.

I don't know who I compare Kawhi to. Well, Pippen would be the obvious one. Okay. All right. That's fine. Pippen would be the obvious one. Okay. All right. That's fine. Pippen with bigger hands. Pippen was so much bigger. Pippen had more of a natural athletic advantage over Kawhi. Kawhi this year. Kawhi to me looks big this year.

He looks a little LeBron-ish this year. He's like a mute, evolutionary mute Pippen. Would you put Spud Webb on the true unicorn list? Are we seeing Spud Webb again? No. Well, just because of his size. Isaiah Thomas, you know, we just had this conversation

where we went crazy for Isaiah Thomas. But he seemed way shorter than Isaiah Thomas. That's right. That's why. Wouldn't you say Muggsy? Muggsy was never that good was the problem. I'm not telling my grandkids about Muggsy Bogues. He just wasn't. Jordan psyched him out that one time, allegedly,

and he was never the same, as the story goes. The other one, I thought about Yao. I think it's possible that China genetically engineers another 7'7 Yao. And it's probably up to it right now. So that's why I didn't put him on.

You put him in the right place. You put him on traditional. I do feel like Neek was borderline. I could have made him a true unicorn and felt pretty good about it. I've never seen anybody go out of his way to dunk on people like Neek did. Do you ever remember anyone doing that? No, it belonged to that era. Yeah.

Again, it's that the ferocity of Westbrook is the only thing in a modern way that I can think about. It was that pre-East Coast, West Coast rap NBA that Len Bias was the ultimate version of it where the swagger was there, but it was all kind of internal. And you played with a certain ferocity, but there was no chest thumping yet and no people acting out of control. Everybody was supposed to keep it in check. So it was like bristling. And Dominique to me was like that len bias was the ultimate but i think nick let it out a little bit that's what i mean he let it out a little it seeped out but it was never you know 10 years

later i think he's behaving a little differently but the thing i used to love about him was he could just do the normal dunk or he could kind of angle a little bit so he could try to dunk on somebody as he did the dunk and he would always he would always try to incorporate other people in it it's like oh there's randy brewers over there i'm gonna bring him into this dunk i'm gonna go sideways try to get randy in on this one and just dunk on his head he really loved it he really loved the uh the art of it. So, yeah, I feel good about this list. Now you have me thinking about whether I should have just made Davis his own thing. I need to watch him more.

Maybe I'll just write an apology column to Anthony Davis. Well, hopefully he continues the season the way he's going, and it'll give you occasion to. I mean, the most important thing with him is staying healthy. Last thing, and then we have to go because this is already too long. Did you see the Kentucky kid destroy Tate's North Carolina team on Saturday? Did you see that? Well, first of all, how great was that game?

For a December college basketball, it was a real throwback game. 103 to 100? I think that was like the best college basketball game I've seen since I was in college. I didn't even know college teams could score 100 points in a game anymore. I didn't know December college basketball was fun. UNLV Arkansas, like those kinds of games way back, right? It was incredible. Mashburn versus Leitner.

It was like a throwback to that era. So this kid has to be the first pick. I'm all in. Just on that performance alone. I'm just all in. What else do I want from a basketball player? I can't tell how tall he is. He's somewhere between 6'4 six six but now i it's too

early to say but man he threw his hat in the ring i'll tell you that much because he was not on my radar before that game there had been rumblings there'd been rumblings but when you think about like the absolute perfect two guard to have in the 2020s i'm'm going to take the guy who has the hair trigger release and can create shots in traffic and every shot he makes doesn't hit the rim. Now, the thing I want to be careful about, we got very excited about Buddy last year. Now, Buddy was like 27. He had big games in big moments, though. I mean, his performance against Kansas last year was, you know, put him on the map. And, you know, it was the thing that had us like, wow, he could really be something as a pro.

So I want to make sure I, you know, give myself a small shot of keeping in the pants juice. Just a little one. Just a taste. I wish the Chargers security guard had. Just a little one. Just a taste. Keep it in the pants juice. I wish the I wish the Charger security guard had to chug that one. He kept it in the pants.

I guess he did. Technically he did. Jesus. What a weirdo. Well, I'm excited that there are more good players in this draft. I think this has a chance

to be the best draft class slash college basketball season of just scouting guys in February and March that we've had this entire decade. You just clinched it. That means for sure that my local home team here is going to trade their draft pick.

Or end up with the 12th pick. Malik Monk. That was unbelievable. I was so happy I just hope that that's what this college basketball season has in store for me because now is the time that I start watching college basketball

with far fewer football games in our lives and I just hope that all these teams are good do you remember Cal letting one of his dudes go off like that before? he took some control. Jamal Murray last year. He let Jamal Murray do that?

But they weren't that good. I mean, he took 28 shots. That's crazy. Malik Monkton. Yeah, 28 shots. I don't remember Cal letting somebody loose like that. The pace of the game was great. All right.

Before we wrap it up, wanted to play a little taste of the sports movie podcast that we're launching this week on Channel 33 called the Sports Movie Hall of Fame. This is a little part about wondering how Jerry Maguire got from the Monday Night Football game that Rod Tidwell played at the end of the movie all the way back to the Divorce Wins group.

How he managed to do all of this before two in the morning. We try to figure this out, me and Chris Ryan. Listen to this, then come back. Monday Night Football started at 9 o'clock Eastern time. Mountain time, we're in Arizona, so that's 7 o'clock. Okay. Who are they playing? I forget. Arizona-Dallas, there's commercials.

Game's going to end around 10-15. Post-game interviews. So Tidwell's got to go back. He's got to change. He's doing. There's a huddle. I'm going to say there's another 45 minutes for that. Jerry and Tidwell, they do the thing.

They hug. Why don't you do that with me? The whole thing. And then he realizes, I have to go tell dorothy boyd that i love her in los angeles it's now 11 it's now 11 o'clock mountain time yeah 10 o'clock los angeles time he sprints out of the football stadium under the rule that all tom cruise movies has to have let me ask you a question doesn't isn't arizona's football stadium notoriously far away from the airport so i i don't think this was Glendale

I think this was when they played in Phoenix But I've been to Phoenix a bunch of times And that airport is not like right there So he sprints out to the stadium Under the Tom Cruise sprinting rule Drives to the airport Purchases a ticket Yeah, didn't have one already

Pre-9-11 Didn't have to check a bed Could have brought a gun on the plane Nobody would have cared I have him... I have that flight being about 12.45 a.m. Mountain time, which would be 11.45

West Coast time. I think 11.45 is generous. It's a 150 minute flight, but you gain a time zone. Best case scenario, Jerry lands at 1.15 in the morning at LAX. lands at 1 15 in the morning at lax at lax at 1 15 in the morning where does dorothy live do we know palisades no i would say i would say she probably

lives in like west hollywood maybe something or maybe culver city okay let's go let's go with culver lands at lax you gotta get to your car that takes 20 minutes okay or unless you took a cab let's say he took a cab. Let's say he took a cab. Let's say he just runs out. He's in a cab. And the cab is like, I know exactly where you're going because no GPS. So they have to know where you're going.

The earliest, a 25 minute cab ride. The earliest he gets at that house is 145 in the morning. And somehow there's still a divorced woman's group. Everybody's awake. Everybody's awake. It's it's like hey guys have anywhere to go it's 145 no no no let's keep hanging out my ex-husband let's keep one more story yeah can you make some more coffee it's 145 in the morning walks in there's nine divorced women yeah was i think lip nicky is asleep and they don't seem like they're not partying. It's not tired. Nobody's asleep.

There's not one person asleep in the thing. It's a problem. Yeah. It's really a problem. I don't know how they didn't figure that out. Also, I'm sort of surprised that they don't. I mean, I know that you need to have the divorce, the book club there. But you could have the, they could have done it at dawn.

You know what I mean? If they push you, you get the magic hour of the sun coming up over the Pacific Coast. Just a thought. Just a thought. How about they just do a 4 o'clock game? When they make the concussion version of this with the Tidwells, I hope that they do have a more accurate time representation. All right.

That's it, House. 20 years since Jerry Maguire. Can you believe it? I cannot believe it. It feels like we could run it back right now. The sequel? Yeah, it's time. That's what the mummy is.

The crew hasn't changed a bit. No, that's the mummy is Jerry Maguire's involved with the mummy. That's what the plot is. It's really Jerry Maguire too. They haven't made a big deal about it yet. So, hey, are you watching The Affair, by the way? Is it back on? I guess not.

Because fat Brendan Fraser is in The Affair this year, and I highly recommend it. Oh, I'm going to watch it. I don't know how many am I behind right now. Too many. Thanks to Sonos, the smart speaker system that streams all your favorite music to any room or every room. Control your music with one simple app. Fill your

home with pure immersive sound. Add your existing music services or discover something new. Go to Sonos.com right now. Thanks to Lyft, the highest rated ride sharing app, and your buddy whenever you need a ride. Download their app and get three free rides for up to $10 each, up to a $30 value as long as you enter promo code BS. I'm sorry. As long as you enter promo code BS,

I'm sorry. As long as you enter promo code, Bill Simmons, my whole name. Thanks to SeatGeek. Thanks to the ringer.com where you can read my column about the history of NBA unicorns and Porzingis and Embiid and Giannis. You can read that on the ringer.com and thanks to Pearl Jam. Remember PJ 25 is happening.

We're in the middle of it go to pearljam.com for more details and house Merry Christmas Happy Holidays lots of sports on Christmas

yeah lot of sports this weekend enjoy it thank you can't wait to order some food thanks buddy

I'll talk to you soon alright thanks guys All right. Thanks, guys.