The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 168: Carmelo Trades and Falcons-Pats w/ Joe House + Rembert Browne

Episode Date: January 27, 2017

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons brings on Joe House to discuss the Bulls meltdown (5:00), Bill's six best made-up Carmelo trades to the Clippers and Cavs (15:00), and Melo's sneaky-best dark horse destination (32:00). Then, former Grantlander Rembert Browne joins to discuss the greatest sports moments in Atlanta history (35:00), the goodwill of Gucci Mane's release (46:00), Matty Ice in the Super Bowl (50:00), Pats-Falcons fanbases (54:00), and Super Bowl predictions (1:02:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by our presenting sponsor, SeatGeek. It's almost Super Bowl time. Buying tickets can be extra complicated. It's a huge investment. That's why our friends at SeatGeek are here to help. SeatGeek, committed to helping you find the best seats at the best prices, fully guaranteed with their revolutionary grading system and a team of ticket concierge experts that are a phone call away with free advice. Download the free SeatGeek app today. Get your tickets to see my Patriots take on the Falcons in Houston, or check out their Super Bowl tracker on SeatGeek.com.

House, you like SeatGeek, right? Isn't SeatGeek the best? I love SeatGeek. I love SeatGeek. SeatGeek is how I go to Nats games. I have an announcement for you, House. Okay. SeatGeek. SeatGeek is how I go to Nats games. I have an announcement for you, House. Okay. SeatGeek was our presenting sponsor in 2016,

and they're also our presenting sponsor for all of 2017. It's now a relationship. We were dating for a while. Now it's like we're living in an apartment together, and I have all my toothbrush and all that stuff in there. So SeatGeek and I, it's getting serious. Time to get freaky. We're also brought to you by Roast Battle 2.

We're taping this on a Friday morning. The first one was last night. It's on my DVR on Comedy Central. The people spoke. It's back. The four-night event features top comedians getting verbally violent until just one is left standing. A star-studded lineup of judges, including Snoop Dogg, Sarah Silverason sudeikis and the roast master jeffrey ross i watched yeah oh you watched

a plus yeah i watched last night i'm not going to ruin it um it's it's quite incredible the only thing i will say is uh it is is uh impossible to describe how high Snoop Dogg is. I mean, it just doesn't seem humanly possible. Well, it's a Fortnite battle you don't want to miss. They've already had one. The season finale, Sunday, January 29th, 10 o'clock. Every night it's 10 o'clock on Comedy Central. See who gets crowned the king or queen of cruelty.

We are also brought to you by TheRinger.com. That's where I wrote a mailbag column. Today, Friday, it's up. Guess what? It's an all-Patriots mailbag. I obeyed all jinxing rules, House. All of them. Every single one of them.

But I just had a lot of Patriots emails. And you know what, House? When your team makes the Super Bowl seven times with the same QB and the same coach, you can do a mailbag about it, I think. Isn't that fair? I think you're legally required. Okay, good. And we're also brought to you

by the Shack House podcast presented by Callaway because guess what? The Shack House podcast returned this week with hosts Joe House and Jeff Shackelford. And you taped this

before Tiger took a big poop on the golf course yesterday. Sorry about that. You okay? That's okay. We did a preview and we were both rooting for a good Tiger performance. He still has a chance. He played the harder of the two courses yesterday. You're the all-time Tiger

apologist. It's unbelievable. I am. It's true. I hope you apologize for your son this much. I need the cat. I need the cat in my life. Come on. Just let him take all the PEDs. Come back, Tiger.

All right. Remember, Brown is coming up later, but right now we are going to make up a ton of Carmelo trades because he is very, very, very available apparently. Let's roll. All right. On the line, Joe House. It's been a while. How are you?

I'd love to be Friday rolling at this time of the year. I know. The Super Bowl is in front of us. The NBA is starting to get a little more interesting. College basketball is hot and golf is back. So it's a nice time to be a sports fan. It's great. How did you do gambling-wise with the NFL playoffs? In the run-up to the playoffs, we knew I had a historical stink streak going. I thought that 2017 was going to be better. It has been. Seven and three against the spread in the playoffs. I got wrong.

The key was us bumping you. Yeah, The key was us bumping you. Yeah, the key was us bumping you from the playoff podcast because your gambling was so bad. Had to have been. But now maybe you've earned a return. Who knows? Hey, we have a bunch of things to discuss. Both NBA.

Okay. I guess they're not a bunch. They're two things. Do you want to quickly go over the Chicago Bulls who have had the biggest meltdown via social media in the history of the NBA this week? Let's talk about them quickly, and then I'm going to throw a shitload of Carmelo trades at you. But this Bulls thing, the Rondo Instagram post, I think was a watershed moment in NBA social media history I mean for me like the Babe Ruth of great NBA social media moments was Ray Allen's tweet when he when all of a sudden that tweet went on the account talking about his penis it was so dirty it was the dirtiest tweet

anyone's ever done it was up for 20 minutes and then he did the My Account is Hack thing, and it's the best. Please Google it. That's Babe Ruth for me, but this was like Barry Bonds maybe. It's just fantastic. What did you think when you read the Rondo post? Well, first an observation. I love that the NBA lets its players. There's no real restrictions on social media around the players

sort of openly talking about their own satisfaction with their own standing, with their teams, criticizing their teams, their teammates, management, all of it. I love that the NBA of the four leagues seems to be most accommodating because it has idiots like us talking on a Friday about what, you know, Rondo. So Rondo's Instagram was obviously his most blatant attempt to get them to wave him. I mean, he's been trying for a while to get them to wave him. But the thing is,

he's been a good teammate. I totally agree. Apparently he's been a good teammate with the young guys. Everybody seems to agree on this. And I guess if I'm Rondo, and this is sad, by the way, I mean,

Rondo was a really great basketball player and in 2010 outplayed LeBron in the Eastern Conference Finals. He was a better player in that series, which is unbelievable. And now I can't even figure out what team he would even go to. Like, you go through the 30 teams, it's like, who needs a point guard that can't shoot? The Cavaliers could use him. Why wouldn't he be good on the Cavs?

Because he can't shoot? Because basketball is played differently now? They have a lot of shooters on the Cavs. The Cavs have lots of options shooting-wise. Their problem is somebody with the ball to initiate playmaking. So you think Rondo's— I don't know if Rondo has any playmaking left, but... So you think his goal is to get waived by the Bulls

so then the Cleveland Cavaliers will pick him up? I'm positive his goal is to get waived by the Bulls. That much is absolutely irrefutable. Cavs seem like a reasonable landing place to me. Were you hoping at all last night that Dwayne Wade was going to fire back and we were going to have a full fledged Instagram duel and then Gabriel Union was going to get involved and it was just going to keep going and going. I kept kind of refreshing my Twitter feed, hoping it would happen, but it didn't. It's not too late. Yeah, maybe it's not.

I love it. And it's amazing to me with social media. And I mean, I know I'm a professional writer and have been for two decades now. I don't trust myself with social media. And I would think I have a better ability to be like, oh, maybe I shouldn't say that. Or, oh, I should think about that for a second. I have trouble. So if you're like boogie cousins, it's just weird. There's not more incidents.

We should have a Rondo Instagram thing like every day. Well, again, I credit the league and the teams for letting the players freely express themselves. Well, we'll see how long that goes. It's very engaging to us fans. We'll see how long that lasts. They might pass some sort of rule that you're not allowed to blatantly tweet negative stuff about your team or Instagram or Facebook. And do you think LeBron will adhere to that? I got to say something about LeBron, who I think is the third greatest player of all time and is putting together the most incredible start to finish basketball career I've ever seen. Stop being such a baby.

Just stop. You have Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love on your team. Your owner traded for Channing Frye and Kyle Korver. Your owner completely overpaid J.R. Smith. Your owner gave Tristan Thompson like an $80 million deal. You have nine above average rotation guys at worst on your team, and I'm including Richard Jefferson, who's like a nice ninth guy on a playoff team.

You can't be like, I need help. It's like, shut up. You guys had bad luck. Stop bitching about it. I couldn't be more on the other side of this. But I have a slightly different take to it. I read this in Kevin O'Connor. I think it was yesterday.

Are you aware that LeBron, as we sit here right now, this second, leads the league in minutes per game? That's his coach's fault. That is a crime. It's his coach's fault. That is a crime. It's his coach's fault. He should be put into hoop jail for that. That's a disaster. I know, but it's been the case

since mid-December they've been doing that. He should not play more than 34 minutes a game. He should play 34 minutes a game. That's gross negligence, what they're doing right now with him. It's the grind. The grind has him down.

He can't go out there. We're right in the heart of the middle of the season. This is the time to get this man rest. What do the Cavs think they're accomplishing? What do they care? They're going to be the first seed or the second seed or the third seed. What's the point? What are they trying to do?

You're preaching to the choir, and they're not going to get home court in the finals anyway against any of the West teams. I don't think it matters if they're 2, 3, 4, or 5. Who cares? Like the 69 Celtics going way, way back. They were like the fourth seed that year, and they just rested.

Russell was the player coach. He just took it easy that year. Because he knew, he was like, I'll show up for the playoffs. I think LeBron is kind of at that stage now where he should be thinking that way. If I were him, I would be playing 32 minutes a game. And no four and five nights, none of that shit. Play like 68 games. Take nights off.

That's it. Here's the thing. And get the bench galvanized a little bit. I know Smith is still out, right? Yeah, but... But, you know, get these guys some minutes. Get Channing Frye some minutes. Get Kay Felder. Kay Felder should get some minutes. You know,

I don't totally understand why Ty Lue would do that, which makes me think LeBron's the one who wants to do that and that he's the one who's taking on these big minutes because you have so many other guys getting attention. And for the first time in his career, LeBron's been, you know, Harden, Westbrook, Durant are just getting way more attention.

And then the Unicorns are getting a lot of attention. And LeBron, when was the last time you had a LeBron conversation? So I think he does this sometimes. When he's not the center of attention, he does little stuff like this. First of all, we had a LeBron conversation on Christmas when they beat the Warriors' ass, and that was three weeks ago, a month ago. Do you think there's any chance Dan Gilbert,

who's worth like 17 kajillion dollars and who's spent crazy amounts of money on LeBron is at some point just going to be like, look, LeBron, shut up. Just shut up. I've done it all. What more do you want from me?

No, I don't think so. I don't think he's going to ask. He might ask. They might, you know, conspire. He might take him out on the yacht. They might go down the Caribbean and let him recharge a little bit. Well, let's talk about, I think this is a great segue into the Carmelo traits. So I've been waiting for this moment for the Knicks and Carmelo to just stare at each other in complete disgust and decide that it wasn't working.

Porzingis is getting worse is the problem. And I watch a lot of the Knicks because I like Porzingis. He's deteriorated over the last five weeks. And that seems to happen when you're standing 25 feet from the basket watching Derek Rose and Carmelo go one-on-one every play at some point that has a deleterious effect on your game not a coincidence yeah so they have to do something and then on top of it you want to make the team worse because if you look at the standings you know the Brooklyn's the worst Brooklyn's probably going to lock up that one that

uh number one ping pong ball spot for the celtics in case unless they make some a couple trades to try to make themselves better miami i think is going to be there dion waiters has been trying to stave it off because waiters island got hot lately but um i think miami will eventually be there riley if dian waiters because if Dan Wieters keeps playing like this, I think Riley, his car will blow up or something. Dallas, I think, is going to be involved. Phoenix. But the Knicks really could go for that third ping pong ball spot

if they wanted to, and I think it would start with Carmelo, and then you wave Derrick Rose, and you just do the full-fledged tank. It makes sense to me. It makes sense to you, correct? What's it cost them to waive D-Rose? That's the part of it that feels like they just can't get over that hump. Just buy him out. Just buy him out when you get to mid-February.

At that point, you're two-thirds of the way through his deal. He makes like $20 million, so it would be like a $7 million buyout. Maybe buy him out for $5 five and he goes to somewhere or you know you think about maybe making a deal with minnesota for rubio who who has just been terrible offensively but it's still a good defensive player has a couple years left on his deal rose played with tibbs maybe tibbs feels like he can save him who knows but derrick rose should now if you're gonna trade Carmelo then get Derek Rose off the team too all right I'm gonna throw trades at you the first I now I know people think I throw the Celtics in every trade I tried to keep it to a minimum this time just because they're probably

the best trade machine team in like five years if the Warriors were the best team in the decade last year then the Celtics are the best trade machine team. Just a slew of draft picks, a slew of expiring contracts. Anyway, there's a way for them to get Kevin Love. Assuming LeBron decides if I flip Kevin Love into Carmelo and some sort of bench piece, my team is better. Do you think he would come to that conclusion? No.

I flatly think that they are not, the Cavaliers are not going to move Kevin Love for Mello. It's just too much. I would also like to weigh in. I'd like to weigh in on this subject as well. I would not trade Kevin Love for Carmelo.

I think Carmelo is a little bit on the downside now. I don't think he has the same lift in his legs. I don't think he can do it night after night. And I think he's got some bad habits now. He's four years older. Yeah. And I also wondered, does his game totally make sense with where basketball is going? The ball goes to him and it stops. And I also wondered, does his game totally make sense with where basketball is going?

The ball goes to him and it stops. And then I watch 20 other teams on league pass and the ball goes to somebody and it doesn't stop. And I wonder if he can adjust. I think LeBron and Chris Paul are the two guys who could make him not be like that. But I wouldn't give up Kevin Love to find out. But with that said, here's a Kevin Love trade for you that he ends up on the Celtics. Kevin Love to the Celtics, along with the Chris Anderson corpse. Carmelo Anthony, Terry Rozier, and Gerald Green to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Amir Johnson, James Young, and Liggins expiring to the Knicks,

and the Celtics float them a couple of their good picks that are not the Brooklyn picks. And the Knicks drop $10 million in salary. So that was what I was thinking to get Love to the— I think it would look something like that. But we both agree, do not trade Kevin Love for Carmelo Anthony. Correct?

Yes. Okay. This next trade also has Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Love in it. It's a four-teamer. Chicago Bulls, New York Knicks,

Cleveland Cavaliers, and the Brooklyn Nets. I threw the Brooklyn Nets in because the Brooklyn's like 20... It in because Brooklyn's like 18, 20 million under the cap, and I really want to see a Lopez Brothers reunion. I think it's really the only thing Brooklyn can do at this point, is reunite the Lopez

Brothers. What else do they have? They don't have picks the next two years. What else would you do if you were them? You're not getting a free agent. No? They play hard. They're interesting. You know, they're giving the folks in Brooklyn an entertaining game, it seems like. Those young guys are playing hard.

They could have the Lopez brothers and that's it. And give them a reality show on the Yes Network. Maybe make a little money back with that. Alright, so Lopez goes to Brooklyn as part of this salary thing. The Bulls get Tristan Thompson and then a bunch of expiring contracts.

Brandon Jennings, Liggins, Anderson, McCray. The Knicks get Kevin Love and they take on the Shumper and Meritech contracts. Cleveland gets Carmelo Anthony and Dwayne Wade. Oh, yeah. The banana boat is back. Fire it up! Get a bartender on the boat! And they also get Kyle O'Quinn and Bobby Portis.

Would you do that trade if you were the Cavs? I mean, if you're the Cavs, yes, right? That's pretty impressive. Yeah, I'd turn Kevin Love and Thompson and a couple scraps into Carmelo, Dwayne Wade, Kyle O'Quinn, and Bobby Portis. That's pretty good. I have no rebounding, though. I have to go small, but I know I have to go small anyway because that's the only way I'm going to beat the Warriors.

You kind of like that one. You want the banana blowback. I still think you just can't move love The price of love for Anthony Is just too high I would keep Kevin Love But Mello and D-Wade Is just delicious On that Cavs team

It's an idiotic basketball trade But it's a really fun basketball trade To have LeBron, Carmelo and Wade And then you know like Kyrie and Chris Paul That trade starts looking at itself a little bit Even but it's a really fun basketball trade to have LeBron, Carmelo, and Wade. And then you know, like Kyrie and Chris Paul, that trade starts looking at itself a little bit, even though it's stupid. At this point, what else does LeBron have but to bring the banana boat back? He's already accomplished everything he'd ever want. He came back from three to one to win Cleveland its first title in 42 years. Bring the banana boat back. Here's a trade that I think could actually happen.

The Clippers are one of the two teams that need Mr. Anthony. The Clippers are already on the record. As saying, smartly, no DeAndre Jordan, no Blake Griffin, no Chris Paul in that trade, but everyone else we would do. The Clippers get Carmelo Anthony and Gerald Green.

Now, here's the problem with the Clips. They have to make a trade for Anthony, who makes $24.6 million a year. Their contracts have to add up close to that because they can't take on any more money in any trade. So at that point, the three big contracts they have are Crawford makes $13 million, Rivers makes $11 million, and J.J. Redick makes $7.4 million. So two of those three have to be in any trade that gets some Carmelo back. All right, so J.J. Redick doesn't make sense on the Knicks, right? What do they want him for?

They're going to be rebuilding. They don't need J.J. Redick, but he's still an Knicks, right? What do they want him for? They're going to be rebuilding. They don't need J.J. Redick. But he's still an asset. He's a guy that makes sense on some teams, like my Boston Celtics, maybe. So J.J. Redick to the Celts, along with the Paul Pierce expiring contract, which makes me – I'm going to start crying. Hold on. I have tears coming out of my eyes.

Bryce Johnson, Diamondstone. Celtics take all those guys. Knicks get Amir Johnson, expiring. Austin Rivers, who I kind of like. Makes $11 million a year, three-year contract. He's only like 22, 23. And I think he's an above-average guard. I don't think he's an above-average starter,

but I think he's an above-average third guard. And then the Knicks will get Terry Rogier, James Young, and some future pick from the Clippers, I would guess. Would you do that trade if you were all three teams? So I don't hate it. I really like the idea of J.J. Redick to the Celtics, and adding in Pierce is a pretty nice turn of trade there. The piece of it that I wonder for the Knicks, I mean, it's garbage for the Knicks. So they're really committed to getting down there

into that 4-5-6 ping pong ball range. It's a self-sabotage. Yeah, you get a future pick, get a couple of guards with potential, and you get Carmelo off your team, and you get Porzingis more shots. It doesn't seem like enough, but I do. There's some variation of that where the Celtics get involved and Redick and Pierce go to Boston. There's pieces.

And the thing with the Celtics, people always talk about the Brooklyn picks, that first of all, they're not trading this year's Brooklyn pick. I am telling you right now, that pick will not be traded because you can't. Because there's two superstars in the draft and they're going to have basically like a 37% chance of getting Lonzo Ball or Markel Fultz. Can't trade the pick. But you could trade, you know, they have a future Clippers pick that becomes unprotected in a couple years.

They have a future Grizzlies pick that's really nice. They have the two first-round picks that they stashed last year, French Draymond Green, and then a center who everybody really likes, some seven-foot-plus center that I can't remember his name, but everybody likes that guy. And then they have their own pick next year. They have assets that they could trade without the Brooklyn pick.

Here's a four-teamer. This is a better destination for J.J. Redick. I'm actually very proud of this trade. I think it's one of my best ones. It's nice to see Picasso can still paint. Carmelo the Clippers. J.J. Reddick to the Oklahoma City Thunder. The Knicks get Anthony Mora's expiring, Cameron Payne, Bryce Johnson, last year's pick.

Tate, you still like Bryce Johnson? Of course. Oh, Tate's excited. And Jeremy Grant, the guy that Oklahoma City got. The Brooklyn Nets get involved here because they have Capra, and what do they care? They get Austin Rivers for free. They get Paul Pierce back.

They just waive him. The Celtics pick him up. So basically Oklahoma City would be turning Payne, Grant, and a contract into J.J. Redick. This is my favorite of all the ones that you sent me. Yeah, this is a good trade. You sent me six. This is my favorite. This is ones that you sent me. Yeah, this is a good trade. You sent me six. This is my favorite.

This is the fairest for everybody involved, and it's easy to come up with a good explanation for why each team would be motivated to do this. Right. And then the clips basically turn Bryce Johnson, Austin Rivers, Pierce, and Redick in a Carmelo, which you do every time. And Redick, I think, is a free agent after the season, too. The big loser in this trade is J.J. Redick in a Carmelo, which he'd do every time. And Redick, I think, is a free agent after the season, too. The big loser in this trade is J.J. Redick,

who has to watch Russell Westbrook shoot 30 times a game and probably will want to disappear. I'll go MIA. You know what? I bet Rusty would share the ball. I honestly think that Redick and Oladipo and Rusty would be a pretty neat and formidable small ball lineup. I'd be

very intrigued to see the three of them on the floor at the same time. Well, they'd certainly be better. Unfortunately, Enos Cantor broke his arm yesterday punching a chair, so that was a problem. He's out for six to eight weeks, which means he's out for ten weeks. Another trade. Sacramento Kings involved here. That's the third team.

Sacramento is interesting because they have Rudy Gay who just blew out his 10 weeks. All right, another trade. Sacramento Kings involved here. That's the third team. Sacramento is interesting because they have Rudy Gay, who just blew out his Achilles. He only makes $13 million this year. It's a player option. So if he opts in next year, you get Rudy Gay, assuming that he's healthy, which he should be. Wesley Matthews came back in eight months from an Achilles. So if he opts into that contract next year,

you have Rudy Gay at $13 million. That's good. Rudy Gay is an above-average rotation guy. Or he opts out, and that becomes an expiring contract. So Clippers get Carmelo. Knicks get Rudy Gay, J.J. Redick, and Willie Cauley-Stein. And Sacramento gets Austin Rivers, Paul Pierce's contract, and Diamondstone just to make everything work.

So basically they turn Willie Cauley-Stein and Gay's contract, whatever that is, into Austin Rivers. And if you watch the Kings, they actually need a guard who can score and create his own shot. I don't mind this trade either because if Redick goes to the Knicks, they can then flip him. That's just an asset. You don't keep Redick, but you put him in another trade.

No? I think this is the Knicksiest deal because of Gay and Redick, right? I mean, they'd love to get Betts in there. Right. Known quantities. And I think Cauley-Stein in a lineup with Zinger and Hernan Gomez, you know, that's not terrible, right? I agree. That's a pretty tough little triumvirate there, a little front court.

And the only piece about it that I hesitate on is, is Austin Rivers enough for the Kings? We were in violent agreement that the Kings need a playmaker at point guard, somebody that's really going to be able to set up that offense. Would you put Crawford? Would you rather have Crawford or Austin Rivers? Austin Rivers just because he's so much younger. Because he's 25 years younger?

I like the thought of Colley Stein and Porzingis together. I think it would be very hard to get any shot within six feet. Tate, would you want to drive the hole against Porzingis and Collierstein? Yeah, Tate says no. And Tate will take it to the rack against anybody. So I don't mind that trade. And I like the thought of Sacramento getting a guard. All right.

Two more. There's one more that you know of. And then there's a mystery one that is my all-time favorite trade. And the one where I have solved. I've solved the Carmelo trade. You're going to be so happy. You're going to have to take a walk. All right.

Here's the last. This is the official banana boat trade. Yeah. Cleveland gets Carmelo, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Paul. All the same trade. And Bobby Portis is a throw in. The Clippers get Kyrie Irving and J.R. Smith. They have to take J.R. Smith as the Kyrie Irving tax.

The Knicks get Kevin Love, Austin Rivers, and Michael Carter Williams. And the Bulls get Tristan Thompson, and they have to take Iman Shumpert's contract and Brandon Jennings expiring. I would say the Bulls would be the one that might not do this because you'd be turning Wade into Thompson and Shumpert, but maybe, who knows, maybe they want to get Wade out of there. The Clippers would be the big winners turning Chris Paul into Kyrie, basically.

I mean, you do that every time. But I don't think this trade will happen, but this is the only way I can figure out that we could get LeBron, Carmelo, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Paul all on the same team. Would the internet break if this trade happened? We'd think the Russians did it, but it would actually be this trade. I'm going to give you a pat on the back.

You really did outdo yourself on the trade machine coming up with this one. And there's a way to talk yourself into it. It's not preposterous. It's not the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Thank you. It's hilarious. It would break the internet. There's no scenario

in which it's going to happen. But, you know, you can come up with the logic. All right, here it is. Here it is. Here's the... You know what?

The one I haven't seen? To build up suspense, let's say hello to one of our sponsors before this trade. That's how good it is. I want to have this trade sponsored. House, let's talk about food.

Let's. I can't tell you to stop wasting money on expensive takeout because that's your thing. That's what you do. But I do think... You mean like the 50 bucks I spent on Popeyes last night? Yeah. You are who you are. But I also think you could sign up with

Blue Apron because for less than $10 per meal, Blue Apron will deliver you all the fresh ingredients you need for a delicious home-cooked meal. They have the highest standards for ingredients. They built a community of home chefs that has no rival. Why don't I read you some of the food options they have in January? Maybe they'll see if you get hungry. Yes. Seared pork chops if you get hungry. Yes. Seared pork chops.

You like those? Love those. Well, they like to put the seared pork chops with farro and cranberry chutney. They have spaghetti, squash, and marinara with mushrooms and garlic knots. And then I know you love shrimp. I've seen you eat dozens of shrimp. Spicy shrimp and Korean rice cakes with cabbage and furikake. Ooh.

Guess what? I might have to go for Asian lunch today. Listen, listeners, since I'm giving you the Carmelo trade that solves the Carmelo trade sweepstakes, right now you can get your first three Blue Apron meals for free with free shipping. Just go to blueapron.com slash BS Blue Apron. It's a better way to cook. All right. Rembrandt's here.

Rembrandt doesn't know what we're talking about. Rembrandt Brown is in the house. But all right. Here's the trade house. You ready? I'm ready. I wish we had a germ wall.

Tate's the most excited I've ever heard him. This trade is so... Remember, it's putting Falcon stuff all over my couches. Carmelo Anthony to the Philadelphia Sixers for Irian Ilesova's expiring and Jaleel Okafor.

And that's it. Carmelo goes to Philly. It's like, how close is New York and Philly? What is that, like an hour? Very close. Hour? Hour on the train. Yeah.

That's right. If he wants to stay in New York, great. Play in Philly. He gets to be the leader of the process. All of a sudden now they have Carmelo Anthony, Joe Embiid, Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons. They're going to have a couple of the process. All of a sudden now they have Carmelo Anthony, Joel Embiid, Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons. They're going to have a couple more lottery picks. They're going to have

Dario Saric, TJ McConnell. That's a good team. That team's going to make the playoffs. Would you want to play the Sixers in the playoffs with Joel Embiid and Carmelo Anthony? I know I wouldn't. What do you think of that trade? I think I won the trade machine. That's it. I do you think of that trade? I think I won the trade machine.

That's it. I like the idea of it. The only thing that gives me pause is Carmelo, over his tenure, has not been the kind of guy that likes to share the limelight. He hasn't been very good about sharing notoriety or celebration. What about the Olympics? 2012 Olympics? 2016 Olympics? Totally different. Totally different. When he's on a team, he wants to be the undisputed team leader.

He wants to be the focus, and he wants all the media. He wants all of it. He's only willing to share some nuggets. He did that to Linsanity. He drove Linsanity out of New York. He did it to poor Omari Stoudemire. Stoudemire was going to be the comeback player of the year. Carmelo popped that bubble.

I just worried about Mello with those youngsters. So you're saying Carmelo's a bad person. That's my takeaway. Carmelo's a bad human being who can't play nice with others. That's what you just said. I'm not going that far. I didn't say any of those things. The process.

You don't have a strong track record, though, of being a nurturer. Have you ever thought of Melo as a nurturer, as a mentor? Yes. That's Rembert Brown. When? Rembert, what do you think of Carmelo Anthony of the Sixers for Irian Elisov and Julia Lokafor, which would give Philly the following starting lineup in crunch time.

Joel Embiid, New Orleans Noel, Carmelo Anthony, Ben Simmons, and little TJ McConnell. That's in a playoff series playing like you're Hawks. You're a little scared of that team. That's like a really semi-terrifying AAU basketball team. Yeah. The process. That has no discipline but might make it to the quarterfinals just off of swag alone.

And here's the thing. If it doesn't work this season, which it's not like they're going to win the title with it, but it would be way more fun and would give them a better chance in the playoffs, then just trade them in the offseason. Because he waived his no trade clause. At that point, he can do whatever he wants with him. That's a team that accidentally takes a good team seven games in the first round of the playoffs.

Yeah. And then gets blown out by 40 in game seven. One minute left, down one, and they have Carmelo and Joel Embiid on the floor. I'm a little scared. I'm terrified. They're running pick and roll Joel's popping out for a 25 foot 3

Everyone thinks they're the best player in the league It's ISO everyone Here's the thing Carmelo has never been really in a situation With a fun team where the fans love them Like he had Denver for 8 years The most fun team they had was like George Carl coaching

Sourpuss Kenya Martin J.R. Smith, Chauncey. Like they went to the conference finals, but I don't think anybody would be like, man, that was a fun team. Same thing with the Knicks. They had that one fun season when they shot all the threes with like J.R. Smith and Tyson Chandler. I'm not telling my grandkids about that team, but Carmelo leading the process.

Oh. I mean, Carmelo was kind of like a leader mentor during the Olympics because all his boys decided not to do the Olympics. So it was just Carmelo and a bunch of kids. And he seemed to take, because Olympics, Melo is one of the better basketball players. So maybe this could be like an NBA version of the Olympic team. Carmelo won Twitter during the Olympics. Yeah, he was great.

People loved it. He became like John Carlos Jr. John Carlos, Tommy Smith, Carmelo. Yeah, I mean that. So you're against it, House. Well, I don't have any proof that Olympic Carmelo will play in the NBA. I mean, that's the only thing that I'd be worried about. I love the narrative.

And they're only six games out of the eighth slot right now. They have three games in hand. No, they're closer than six. They're like four back in the loss column, right? Yeah, four back in the loss column. Tate reminds us that Colangelo's running the Sixers. Carmelo's Olympic buddy. Who could convince Carmelo to come to the

Sixers? I bet Jerry Colangelo could. I feel like Carmelo's the person that prevents that Sixers team from having a boat photo like the Giants team. Carmelo's like, no guys, go to sleep. Yeah, yeah. Come on, guys. I've been on that boat before.

Joel, stay away from her. Don't go on that boat. You know, the other thing with this, one of my favorite subplots this year is that like two years ago, the Kings and Sixers made this stupid trade where the Kings cleared all this cap space so they could sign like Rajon Rondo

and Marco Bellinelli. Oh, yeah. And they gave up a first round pick and then a pick swap and Nick Stauskas. So there's a pick swap this year, the Sixers and Kings, and it's top 10 protected. But if the Kings are like 11 and the Sixers are 18, the Sixers get the swap picks with them,

and all the Kings fans are going to be like, well, at least we're in the lottery. Wait, what? What happened to our pick? So, all right, let's talk about quick and loans really quickly a proud supporter of the bill simmons podcast when it comes to the big decision of choosing a mortgage lender it's important to work with someone you can trust who has your best interest in mind and with rocket mortgage you will get a transparent online process that gives

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Thanks to SimpliSafe for the support. All right, back to Joe House and Rembrandt Brown. All right, House. Rembrandt's team and my team are playing in the Super Bowl. I don't know if you're aware. What, you mean me and House's team? Oh, House, you've adopted the Falcons? I publicly

tweeted out immediately after the Pats won, I'm riding with the Falcons this year. That's my boy Joe House. House eats nine in Atlanta. That's right. Remember Judge House eats three. Oh my god, yeah, I still go to therapy.

The bucket is right there i'm still i still i need to bill you for that here's my first question ram i mentioned this in the mailbag today and i don't know if it's right or not but i was saying if the falcons beat the patriots in the super bowl that has to be hands down the greatest moment in Atlanta sports history, right? Like hands down, it's not even a conversation. So I went through, I found some slideshow that had, I wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything. Yeah. Like the 30 greatest Atlanta sports moments.

Yeah. And four of them were like when other teams did things in Atlanta venues. It's like when Florida won. Like Larry Bird's 60 point game? Yeah. I'm like, this is not, or wait,

one of them, one of them was Dan Uglis, 33 game hit streak. I was like, Oh God, this is dark. So what is the number one moment right now? It's the,

it's the Braves win the world series, 95. That was the worst world series anyone won. Everyone hated that series. I, I didn't. It was like the asterisk post-lockout. I mean, it was like nobody even wanted to watch baseball that year.

But that's our only championship. So it's default number one. But that's so sad. So what's number two? What's number two? Yeah. Literally number two. Literally number two is probably...

Michael Vick getting released from jail? That's too soon. I'm right here. Georgia Tech? The Georgia Tech run to the finals against UConn was amazing. Wow. Pretty good. I was the only kid in my school to...

It was the only time I've ever won the pool, I bet, against Tech in the finals. Smart move. So I was like, if Tech've ever won the pool. I bet against Tech in the finals. Smart move. So I was like, if Tech wins, that's great. If Tech loses, the kids in my high school, they didn't understand hedging your bets. So that's in conversation for number two, Georgia Tech losing in the NCAA finals. A lot of people put the 96 Olympics up there, but I think that the 1996 Olympics is the reason for our curse. Right. Because we did something clearly nefarious to get the Olympics.

Oh. Well, there was a bomb also. Yeah. Allegedly. Allegedly. Well. I mean, the bomb went off. No, it wasn't an alleged bomb.

There was a real bomb. The legend Richard Jewell. Yeah. So what was the nefarious stuff? There was some bribery? No. It's just like, at the time, time it's just like you look at the cities that got like this was before places like sochi yeah i got the olympic i see where you're going

it was just like and the winner is atlanta and i feel like half the world was like where's that right but we got it and it is one of the reasons our city like blew up because it became like a transportation hub and everything like that but it's also like i don't really know how we got those olympics and i feel like we like sold our soul to you don't really have a downtown yeah i mean it's it it also like just from a pure urban planning um state uh or point of view, they kind of had to, you know, in order to clean up the city, they had to kind of like tear down a lot of projects and do a lot of not so great things to get Atlanta where it needed to be visually by the Olympics

that weren't exactly the friendliest things to the city of Atlanta. I'm trying to think, House, what are your three memories of the Atlanta Olympics? Ilympics i remember carrie strug you can do it carrie i remember that i remember michael johnson yep yeah i remember uh a really dissatisfying basketball experience oh yeah that was with a team that i didn't like very much i remember what else anything i'm sure we're forgetting something but the fact that none Oh, yeah, that was... With a team that I didn't like very much. I remember... What else? Anything? Yeah.

I'm sure we're forgetting something, but the fact that none of this is jumping off the top of my head is probably a problem. House. I mean, I don't want to be a dick. There was a bomb. Yeah, that...

That's what I remember. Yeah, House points out, like, the tragedy of the bombing was probably everybody's, like, go-to memory of that, which is horrible. Oh, Muhammad Ali. Oh, Muhammad Ali and the torch.

The torch. Yeah. Sure. So greatest Hawks moment. Did you say sure? No, no. I forgot about that one. Sure.

Sure. That's so rude. Greatest Hawks moment ever is the duel, Neek and Bird. Is that number one? I think Spud Webb winning the dunk contest over Dominique is number one. Or maybe Paul Millsap making another All-Star game. I know, congratulations.

All four words he's spoken in the last four All-Star games. The fans wanted him over Joel Embiid. Sorry. Who wants to see Joel Embiid in the All-Star game? Oh, everybody. Yeah, this feels like a Joel Embiid in the All-Star game? Oh, everybody. Best Falcon. Yeah, this feels like a psychotherapy session, by the way. For Rem?

Yeah, I mean, going through this list is very depressing. I know. That's the thing. It's like people don't understand. Oh, the Falcons did make the Super Bowl. I do remember I was at – You beat the – Minnesota. That's got to be your second greatest moment.

Gary Anderson. Gary Anderson missed field goal. He had missed one all season. Juggernaut Minnesota team. Missed one. And then R. Anderson, Morton Anderson kicked one in overtime. I remember everything about that day. You were like, what, 10?

Yeah, I was 11. I was at a tennis tournament in Augusta, Georgia, and they paused the tournament. So everyone could crowd around this little TV, and everyone watched Morton Anderson make the field goal. Wow. So that's good. That's number two.

That's big. Dirty Bird, Jamal Anderson. You weren't old enough. House remembers this. Georgia Tech had a basketball team that we loved in college, that we just flat out loved the kenny anderson team kenny anderson when he had his when he was throwing 102 miles an hour he was just the best such a fun point guard d scott and brian oliver yeah right and then and they had a couple good they had one one ESPN classic game that went into overtime.

It might have been against LSU. I can't remember. But I just remember I love that team. So that's got to be up there. I mean, also Tech always has some sneaky good players that you forget went to Tech, like Bosh. Right. Went to Tech. I forget that all the time.

Someone else I was just thinking about. Marbury. Oh, yeah. Marbury. Marbury went to Georgia Tech? Oh, yeah. I didn that all the time. Someone else I was just thinking about. Marbury. Oh, yeah. Marbury. Marbury went to Georgia Tech? Oh, yeah. I didn't even remember that. Oh, yeah.

These are, like, but I think after one year, it was like, we got to get Marbury out of Atlanta. Like, Atlanta wasn't ready for Marbury. It wasn't the other way around. It's like, Atlanta's like, we have to get this kid out of here. They're like, you're ready for the draft. You should go. Yeah.

Well, that's pretty grim no hockey memories no uh we're about to get it we're about to get a mls team oh that's good that's big nothing like nothing like 107 degree human soccer well they're playing the first season i was told in the georgia Stadium, which makes it even better for fans who are mad about the Braves moving out to the suburbs. Smart. It's like, okay, you know what? Forget the Braves. We will root for our new soccer team for one year

until we forget that it exists. What do we think of the MLS in Atlanta? It sounds like a sociology experiment. Yeah, it sounds like... It literally sounds like someone's thesis. It's like, what happens if we miss professional soccer? It's someone's thesis. It's like, what happens if we miss professional soccer? It's a PhD thesis.

Gucci Mane's gone to every game. I guarantee that first game, there's going to be a processional of rappers. That would be phenomenal. Like 2 Chainz and the new MLS kid. That would be the best thing that ever happened to the MLS. If the Atlanta rap scene embraced the new MLS team. I'm telling you, if Atlanta decides to win things, it could always be the best thing that happens to that sport. It's just like we haven't won much. But if Atlanta became a soccer city, that could potentially save men's soccer. Do you think

Gucci Mane getting out of jail, proposing to his girlfriend on the Hawks Jumbotron, releasing three albums and just everything that's happened, if you look at that as the turning point for Atlanta and Atlanta sports, that's where it flipped, right? Did I tell you that I

missed that game by an hour? I know, you missed it. You got delayed on a flight, right? That would have been the greatest moment of your life. Thanks, Delta. I got, as a sign of friendship to a lot of my friends from home, I figured out a way to get us all in a suite. Yeah. But I was the only one not in Atlanta.

I was coming home for Thanksgiving, and my flight got delayed four hours. And when I landed, I was concerned about what was happening in the game. And my friends were like, well, you missed the game. But four minutes before the game ended, Gucci Man proposed on the Kiss Cam. And I almost... And you said, just shoot me in the head. I was just like, I'm done. Just shoot me.

Why live? I don't want to live anymore after this. And the best part is he didn't get on his knee. He just kind of leaned over a little bit. Right. And was just like, you want this ring? So since that happened, the Hawks had a nice, half-decent playoff run. Then they signed Dwight Howard.

No, that happened Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah. I screwed up. Yeah, yeah. No, but since Gucci Mane got out of jail. Oh, since he got out of jail, yes. Hawks, half-decent playoff run, but then they bring Dwight Howard home,

which was fun on paper. I don't think he's infected the team yet. The Braves? I think he maybe is, maybe he got the antibiotic or something. Oh, you think? He's- They have the Center of Disease Control

fixing him in the locker room? The CDC is based in Atlanta. So I'm just saying, like, he hasn't done – you know, he was – I saw your semi-rude tweet about Dwight being front row at the Falcons NFC Championship game. Yeah, I thought that was bad luck. House, didn't you think that was bad luck? Dwight Howard?

Why do you want Dwight Howard on the sidelines? I like the idea of cross-team support. Even with guys with smelly histories, I like cross-team support. So, Gucci's out of jail. He somehow is the first person to ever get new veneers in jail because his teeth look beautiful i know day one there's like a red from shawshank in there that's like gucci i got some veneers for you i'm gonna smuggle them in and uh he ends up on a song that went number one so he got his first number one single he did a podcast with me that was one of my favorites of 2016 i saw a picture

of a parking spot with a cone in it with a sign that said Gucci Man in this lot which is a top five of my life. That was great. Atlanta Comes Out is good. Yeah, so when did Atlanta come out? That came out in the fall. Yeah, it was in July. Yeah, Atlanta Show. That house

almost just thumbed his nose at for a month. I hate to say it. No, no, no. Oh, like when he said, sure, about Muhammad Ali? Yeah, it was equivalent to that. I said, sure, about Muhammad Ali. I didn't thumb my nose at Atlanta.

I needed to build it in. It's not in, you know, I'm at a stage in my life where I have to create TV time. Well, so then Atlanta wins. The room to watch it uninterrupted. Atlanta wins a Golden Globe. Atlanta becomes the coolest show of the last couple years. Atlanta wins a Golden Globe. Atlanta becomes the coolest show

of the last couple years. Paperboy is the top 10 song of the year. Paperboy. Donald Glover gets into Star Wars. And is in Spider-Man. And then the Falcons. Matty Ice, who Rembrandt has just disparaged on Twitter. I've said...

Disparaged him. We're working on something that're going to have, we have, we're working on something that will, from a video standpoint. It's called atoning for your sins. Yeah. Remember this.

We're all grownups here. Lots of mean tweets about Matt Ryan. People just think on the internet you can just say anything about anyone is never going to come back.

You learned some valuable lessons. I've learned, I've grown up a lot since he stopped being bad. So now the Falcons are in the Super Bowl. Oh, also, also, sorry. Also, when Donald Glover won his Golden Globe,

he shouted out Migos. Oh, yeah, there's been, Migos is going mainstream. And then the next day had a number one single. And I was just like, the synergy. Donald Trump insulted John Lewis, and then John Lewis' books all sold out on Amazon. That's just, everything is happening right now. Like, Bill, I know you want your team to win. I know.

For us, if after all of this, if it doesn't happen now, I think you guys should shut down the city. So Rem thinks that there's a chance because they're knocking down the georgia dome in a month and a half yeah very soon rem thinks there's a chance that they might knock down the georgia dome after the falcons win the super bowl if they win it i that might be where the post-game bonfire is going to be i'm going to go find the eternal flame from the 96 olympics and just throw it into the dome. It's a party at the Georgia Dome. It's Earth's greatest bonfire. I just hope it doesn't spread

into the new Mercedes-Benz stadium. How does this all sound to you? It sounds 100%. I mean, I'm there. I already jumped on board the Atlanta bandwagon without knowing all of these factors that are at play. All the momentum, the zeitgeist, the Atlanta zeitgeist.

Yes. And I was there because of Mary Mac's Tea Room. I mean, let's just be honest. Let's be honest. That's my favorite fried chicken in the South. It's so good. I mean, I haven't been to Memphis or anything like that, but I'm just saying in terms of Atlanta, that's my spot.

Next time I go to Mary Mac's, I'm going to sneak in a photo of you just like thumbtacking against the wall. Like in the men's bathroom next to like the advertisement for like, we'll do karaoke at your son's bar mitzvah. That's where I belong. In the men's bathroom. House, they opened a Gus's Fried Chicken in LA if you were making your pro-con list about whether you ever wanted to move to LA. You heard me. It's definitely a pro.

I thought House died. I thought his heart stopped. you heard me it's definitely a pro it's very stealth it's on the corner of crenshaw and pico and it's always packed and it's almost like fight club nobody's talking about it but it's there and it's delicious and they have pie so falcons first of all you asked me yesterday come, if the Falcons beat the Pats, you'd be happy for me. The answer is no. I wouldn't be happy. You said no to my face. No. Why would I be happy that my team lost the Super Bowl?

Like 19 years from now, I might be like 1% happy for you, but not any time in the next. This is like, this is it. Everything has led to Goodell giving Brady that trophy. This isn't even about football. On the podium. This isn't about football. It's not Brady that trophy. This isn't even about football. On the podium. This isn't about football. It's not about football anymore. This isn't about football.

It's the revenge. This is John Wick. They killed his dog. My favorite thing about this is there have been, I've read some stuff trying to create this Boston-Atlanta-Falcons-Patriots rivalry, which just doesn't exist no they there's nothing my favorite there was a celtics hawks bad blood for like a second it's like the pats rivalry

it's like and it's like good versus evil like nfl versus patriots like atlanta's not even in the equation and for atlanta it's like we don't even like people in atlanta probably don't even we don't even know about deflate gate we don't even't even know where Boston is. We have no idea. And you definitely wouldn't want to go there. We have no idea where this region is. We're just like, we just want to win. I think with this Super Bowl, what makes it special is two fan bases that literally have nothing in common. It's great.

In any way, shape, or form. It's great. They listen to completely different music. They've had different life experiences. There's just nothing. The food is different. We have like the Dropkick Murphys. You have like Gucci Mane.

The North against the South. We have clam chowder and you have like all the great Atlanta food. We don't even really have good insults to one another. It's just like... No. Like there's... It's like from two separate planets.

It's great. It's like if we're, you know... So I'm into that. i think that i love a world in which we got rid of like the seattle fan base like we knocked out the seattle fan base which is just insufferable and have they officially become insufferable? Then what are the Pats fans? Pats fans are just NFL fans. Seattle fans are like... Oh, that's nice. Thank you.

Seattle fans are fans that bought 18 different... People that live in San Francisco that bought 18 different Curry jerseys three years ago. And they're like, we love sports. I love this. This is great. I can't handle Seattle sports fans. I can this. This is great. I can't handle Seattle sports fans. House, did you know that the Saints-Falcons rivalry is way greater than anybody realizes?

Because we have Micah Peters, who writes for The Ringer. It's very real. Who is from Louisiana and a huge Saints fan. And he detests the Falcons. He can't. I hate. And you guys hate the Saintscons. He can't. I hate. And you guys hate that, and you guys hate the Saints. But his goes deeper.

Well, because it's always been an NFC South rivalry. It's NFC South, but it's also just like there's a lot of people from Atlanta that live in New Orleans. There's a lot of people from New Orleans that live in Atlanta. And that got even more intense post-Katrina because a lot of people from New Orleans ended up in Atlanta. And that got even more intense post Katrina because a lot of people from New Orleans ended up in Atlanta and stayed. And then at sporting games, especially Falcons games, it was just,

it just got like ugly. Yeah. I want to make sure I get this right. Roddy white sent a tweet about Katrina five years ago. And there was already a lot of Katrina, Falcon, Saints, Bad Blood and then Roddy White did this tweet and that's over everything else why Micah hates the Falcons

yeah I mean Roddy White it's like those things where the thoughts and views of so and so don't represent blah blah blah blah blah blah I have to say that every time I talk about Roddy White at Roddy White TV here I'll just give you Roddy White's apology house I'm sorry I really didn't say say that every time i talk about roddy white at roddy white tv uh here i'll just give you roddy white's apology house i'm sorry i really didn't say anything about the hurricane but they took

it that way i wasn't trying to say anything mean about the city blah blah blah yeah it wasn't great yeah it's not so there's a lot of katrina fueled hatred between the saints and falcons who they had this nfc south thing anyway but it's like one of the most underrated rivalries. It's a great rivalry. It's a really good one. I had no idea. I follow football. I love football.

I had no idea the Saints and Falcons hated each other. The thing that I – the game I always cite as one of the most unfair sporting events of all time is the Falcons had to play the Saints the first game back in the Superdome. Yes. And I was like. That's in Gleason in the documentary, which is terrific. There's no God on earth that'll let us win this game.

Right. Gleason got the block punt in that game. And I was like, I couldn't even cheer for the Falcons in that game. Did you see Gleason? Yeah. House, did you see Gleason? I haven't seen it yet. It's devastating. Yeah. It's really, really good. You don see Gleason? Yeah. House, did you see Gleason? I haven't seen it yet. It's devastating.

Yeah. It's really, really devastating. You don't go and do anything afterwards. You don't go to a party. No. No. You just kind of walk around. I put it on for my wife

and she had no idea what it was about. And she thought it was like a football documentary. And yeah, within 15 minutes, she's bawling. So, House,

quickly, the Washington Wizards. How about them? Speaking of feuds. John Wall. And my Celtics have a nice feud, and the Wizards dressed in all black going to the game because they said they were going to a funeral.

A funeral. And then they beat the Celtics. That's the way John Wall said it. And they talked a lot of shit. And Marcus Smart got mad and got in a fight. Wiz Celtics is a feud now that could be a little round two house it's exciting uh to have that a little bit of of something on the east coast I mean we we in Washington have been so starved for this version

of a professional basketball team with this backcourt and that we're on a nice little sustained run I'm I'm very guarded with my optimism right now. But it would be great. Go ahead. It would be great if everybody stays healthy, we have the nucleus, get into the playoffs, we win in the first round, your team wins in the first round, and we're up against each other.

Or we could go 3-6 first round. Or 4-5, something like that. So Wall and Beal look terrific all of a sudden. Kelly Oubre is all of a sudden like a decent bench guy. Otto Porter's been solid all year. Gortat's okay. You have six guys. Ernie screwed you on the rest of them.

You're missing like four spots. We need Mahinmi to come back, which is an absolutely ridiculous thing to say, obviously. Think about how dumb that is. Also, House, can I thank you for giving my team one of my favorite basketball players to watch five minutes a game, Chris Humphries. Oh, yeah. You're welcome. You can have him.

My dear friend, Clint Yates, who would always refer to him as a secret weapon when he was on the Wizards. Is that a compliment? Very unclear. Yeah. refer to him as a secret weapon when he was on the wizards is that a compliment or it's a very unclear yeah but humphries watching humphries play basketball is one of my favorite things because he works he works harder than any of us have ever worked on anything and the effort and like there'll be a three minute span well he'll get a steal like air ball a layup and then as the team is going the other way he'll steal it back

and then step on the basketball and fall and get taken out but it's just hard work and I can't and he married Kim Kardashian and then the marriage got annulled that's how bad the Nets are

I saw him drop 13 on the Nets yeah the Brooklyn Nets why. I saw him drop 13 on the Nets. Yeah, the Brooklyn Nets. Why did they do that to Brooklyn? It's like Brooklyn had become the hottest up-and-coming place for young people to live. And then they gave them the worst NBA team. Jay-Z stopped going to the game. Jay-Z's like, I'm out.

They play Dropkick Murphys at the game now. They don't even play Jay-Z. Jay-Z had lemonade in the Nets. It's like a rough stretch for that dude. House, give us your Super Bowl prediction. I think the Falcons juggernaut offense continues unabated, unfettered. I like the Falcons 48 to 40. I think it's going to be an insane shootout.

88 total points. I'm taking the over all day long. That's the only wage I'm going to make is the over. 48 to 40. I think it's going to be an insane shootout. 88 total points. I'm taking the over all day long. That's the only wage I'm going to make is the over. 48 to 40. Can the Pats score 40 points? Ridiculous. Can I tell you what's actually going to happen? Sure. Here's your weakness. You're too small.

Your defense is too small. You're fast, but you're small. People can run on you. I think Belichick is going to look at the Falcons and go, I'm running the ball down their throats i think you're gonna get a lot of le garrett blunt in this game do you think belichick knows he's playing as the falcons yet i it's it's on his radar but i think it's gonna be like pound the ball keep matt ryan off the field double julio and i think it's gonna be lower scoring than people think

but the cousin and i are doing our big be lower scoring than people think but the cousin and i are doing our big super bowl prop pod next week because the props finally came out and the over is super high it's like 60 i can't imagine us scoring less than like less than 30 points there's no way so can you tell house what you what you heard as a potential plan for the Atlanta celebrities for Super Bowl week? Oh, House, you're going to love this. So apparently something that's happening is a handful of rappers and Atlanta celebrities are going to Houston. Yeah. Which would be?

Thursday to Saturday just for the parties and the festivities. It would be incredible. I like this and then saturday night or sunday probably sunday morning or just flying to atlanta for what could be like basically in preparation to just watch the game and then be in atlanta for what could be like one of the great party nights in american history so what is the hub for the celebs if atlanta wins the superbowl it's where are they in atlanta celebrating it there's like a there's like a handful of handful of possibilities clubs and strip clubs okay i i feel like all the already very loose laws about nightlife are going to all disintegrate

um i just i wasn't this how the walking dead started as a series and later when the super bowl, there's this apocalypse. I mean, just like the combination. I mean, cause I'm, my plan is to go to Atlanta on Sunday for, I was thinking about,

I was weighing the pros and cons of what happens if we win and I'm in Houston. What happens if we lose and I'm in Houston? What happens if we win or lose and I'm Atlanta? And even the great scenario of being at the Super Bowl, winning and being in Houston, that's a great story to tell. But it's like, what do I do after that? I'm in Houston.

I'm not around a lot of people I know. Well, you want to go to the game, though. You have to go to the game. I don't have to go to the game. No, you kind of do, though game, though. You have to go to the game. I don't have to go to the game. No, you kind of do, though. I really don't have to go to the game. When my team won its first Super Bowl ever, I was very happy I was at the game. But weren't you, were you surrounded by people?

You're going to have, there's going to be more Falcons fans than Patriots fans there. I would say it's going to be. I completely disagree. Oh, there's going to be more Falcons fans. 100%. Why? Because all the people from Houston are going to Why? Because y'all are just bored? All the people from Houston are going to be at the game rooting for the Falcons.

We might have more bandwagon fans. You're going to have 75% Atlanta fans at that game. Yeah, it's going to happen. That's not what I expected. Ask yourself this. What city does Houston have more in common with, Atlanta or Boston? Actually, Houston probably has more in common with Atlanta than any other city in America. I would agree.

It's like our first cousin. Yeah. Our first fatter cousin. I wrote about this when I went to the 06 All-Star Game in Houston. And there was this big party. And Rashard Lewis showed up with like 30 friends at the NBA Players Association party. And they wouldn't let him in. And they were like, we have to do the boat.

And he's like, I'm Rashard Lewis. I'm from Houston. I got 30 motherfuckers with me. And he just walked in and they all followed him. I wrote about it. It was one of my favorite things I've ever seen at All-Star Weekend. I was like, that's it. That's everything I wanted from All-Star Weekend right there.

So I will say in Houston, if I can make that exact speech. I'm Robert Brown. I'm from Atlanta. I'd like to be one of the 30 motherfuckers. If you go, bro. I'm at some cantina in Houston. I want to be one of the 30. I want all the mole sauce in this taco stand.

Motherfucker. Houston has had, this is the second time The Pats have played The Super Bowl there They've had two All-star weekends They had an MLB All-star weekend And they had something else

Like for some reason Houston has had More sporting events Than just about anyone I don't really understand it Final four last year And final four Houston's become

Like a place And if you go to Houston If you're on the wrong Side of town in Houston, you're like an hour away from everything. Oh, yeah. It's so sprawled out. It's a disaster. It's so sprawled out. Wait, did we go to an All-Star game there? Yeah.

Yeah. It was like. The worst was Orlando. 2013. Never have an event in Orlando. No, but Orlando had the Chinese function that we went to where you got to be on the podium. We took a picture. Like you were giving a speech.

Daryl Dawkins was like prime minister. It was amazing. He had the Mao jacket. Oh, he had the Mao jacket. And we played miniature golf there. No, no. We played miniature golf. I did dominate miniature golf.

You did. You were really good. Were you probably wearing just like that silver suit also? Or were you in casual clothes? Orlando was. I think I was casual, but that was really also or were you in casual clothes Orlando was I think I was casual but that was really where Shaq House got started

it was that day the miniature guff alright House we're gonna let you go and we have some other stuff to do with Rembert today awesome I gotta protect this voice box

I'm doing 72 podcasts today all about Roddy Wright Rembert thanks for coming on thank you we have you're taping a channel 33 podcast with Micah Peters

about the year in music that people can look forward to on the channel 33 feed it's gonna be great and you're doing a couple videos for us as well also known as Dartmouth Pod yeah

House I have I've had five Dartmouth people pass through my Grantland ringer life I told I told you. I only know Rebert.

Who else? Amanda Dobbins, who runs our culture side. Zach Lowe. Micah Peters. Oh, I didn't. Okay. And now, Hannah. Yeah.

It's great. Who we just hired from BuzzFeed, who's our special project center. Five Dartmouth people. I told Bill he needs to just start donating money to the Dartmouth Alumni Fund. I think I should get the Alumni Magazine at least, right? They should mail it to me. I'll get you one of those. Yeah.

Poor Holy Cross. All right, yeah. That's one of our rivals, Dartmouth. House, thanks. We'll talk to you next week. Bye, House. Remember, thank you. See you around.

Worse than luck next week. And we look forward to seeing more of you on the ringer. It's been a pleasure. Today's episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast was brought to you by SimpliSafe. Earlier this month, SimpliSafe wowed the tech experts at the CES trade show. They unveiled the new SimpliSafe security camera, the one that connects to the sensors in your alarm system and records if a sensor is triggered. If someone tries to break in, you'll have evidence for the police and you can stream live footage to your phone anytime you want right from the app go to

simply safe bs.com today for a special 10 discount for any of my listeners that's simply safe bs.com don't forget if you're looking for super bowl tickets download the free c geek app or go to c geek.com. And don't forget about Shack House presented by Callaway, that podcast. Don't forget about Channel 33. You can hear Rembert Brown and Michael Peters talk about music. And later today, Chris Ryan and I are recording the fourth episode of the Sports Movie Hall of Fame podcast.

I won't spoil it for you, but white men might be jumping in it. And that's going to run next week, so download to Channel 33 right now. And don't forget to check out the new All Patriots mailbag that I put up on TheRinger.com that went up Friday. It's not as bad as it sounds.

You'll like it. Enjoy the weekend. I don't want to see them on a way so little Say I don't have.