The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 22: Week 10 NFL w/ Cousin Sal

Episode Date: November 9, 2015

HBO's Bill Simmons talks Week 10 NFL, another traumatic Dallas Cowboys loss, Andrew 'The Giant' Luck, Greg Hardy vs. Ray Rice, Minnesota's playoff sleeper sweepstakes and Jim Nantz-gasms with Cousin Sal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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all right someone we couldn't picture rolling yesterday because brutal sports month for him brutal now it's starting to affect your SportsCenter picks. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yesterday was the worst NFL day I've had in a long, long time. Everything across the board. You were on fire on SportsCenter. You were 6-0 your last two weeks. And then Roethlisberger's foot. First of all, I can't believe that was only a sprained foot. I thought they were going to have to amputate it.

It went in a direction that positive feet aren't supposed to go. Yeah, it looked way worse. I don't know how he does it. He comes out of these things like, eh, he might miss a game or two. But it looked terrible. Not as terrible as the Raiders' defense, but pretty bad.

I mean, I had the Steelers minus I gave it out minus four and a half and then it went to six and I it was like, oh, man. You know when, like, now I know how, like, women feel, like when someone else dresses like them at a wedding. They're like, oh, that stings. They're like, oh, why? What's the big deal?

Who cares? Like, no, everyone's betting the Steelers, and now it's going to lose. I'm going to have to, they're not going to win straight up. But for crying out loud, and D'Angelo Williams getting stopped at the one, forget about your first HBO documentary being about Andre the Giant. You need to go over that. That wasn't true. It's not true.

But either way, the 2015 point shaving scandal led by D'Angelo Williams should be first and foremost on the list. Very mysterious, shifted the ball from his left to his right hand and then seemed totally comfortable just going out of bounds. Right. Just putting his shoulder down and scoring a touchdown. Yeah, and who else was comfortable? The Steelers were comfortable with not reviewing it.

I guess it should be reviewed automatically, but I'm not positive he didn't get in anyway, and they were okay with kicking a field goal even though their kicker had just missed some. But, yeah, that was a brutal spread loss. Well, and Vegas finally did well yesterday. They did, yeah. You had some underdogs winning outright with some fairly sizable spreads,

like the Titans won. Right. Who else? The Niners? Well, 80% of the money bet on games was on the Falcons, Packers, and Broncos. All losers. You know what I noticed? I had a realization yesterday.

You know the lines have kind of settled at weird numbers this year you know like the giants tampa line settled at two yeah right you rarely see like the two-point line yeah and you rarely see like the five-point line i think what's happened is with these extra points and the two points and the missed extra points and all this you're getting these wonky scores now. You're getting these 21 to 18. Right. The Giants are up two with nine minutes to go.

They're up 20 to 18, whatever that was. Yeah. And I think Vegas is now fighting, and the Gamblers too, they're now fighting over every half point. I think you're right. Because it was like it's either pick them or three. It might end up at two and a half. Yeah. Five is the new four.

We used to call it we called the vegas zone you made that up it'd be three three and a half or two and a half three and three and a half or four and then it would go into the vegas zone then we get to six yeah but now it's like it just doesn't matter they're like the line's the line we think this team is five points better and the line is five yeah 23 18 is a common final score now for some reason i don't know if I like it. I don't like it either. I miss the stability of knowing all that.

You know, they remember you being like, and they're going to win 27-20. They're going to win 23-17. And it was all these static numbers. And now it's like every number's in play. Well, also the coaching seems to be worse than ever. And not knowing when to go for two or when to go for a field goal or a touchdown.

I think maybe that's weighed into these lines. It was really bad yesterday. worse than ever and not knowing when to go for two or when to go for a field goal or a touchdown i think maybe that's weighed into um these lines it was really bad yesterday and uh capped off with atlanta oh doing something that came out of like 1985 they're down four or three minutes left they're in the two yard line and they kick a field goal they had two timeouts left yeah the other option was just trying to score a touchdown. And if you don't get it, Blaine Gabbert's on the two-yard line with his fourth-string running back and his third-string tight end. I mean, they weren't going to get a first down on the two-yard line.

What are you doing? So Dan Quinn says, and it's a joke what he says, he's like, I have utmost confidence in my offense and defense. Like, that isn't true. And just like you said, if you have your confidence in the defense, if you're looking for a stop after the field goal, look for a stop after the missed fourth down conversion. That's fine.

You might even get a safety and then kick a field goal. That's more likely than what you're planning there. I think there should be a – you know how there's a coach's challenge? There should be an owner's challenge too. He should drop a red flag from the uh from the press box and when it hits the ground he overrules the coach and the coach has to go through a concussion protocol yeah yeah because that was insane well we that's the kind of thing that starting in like 07 and 08 when sabermetrics and advanced stats and guys like iron shots and bill barnwell they start writing

about football in a much smarter way, using like sample, all this stuff. Yeah. And it became pretty clear by around 2010 that you're an idiot if you kick a field goal in that situation. Right. You're just a flat-out idiot. Sure, yeah.

I don't think Dan Quinn's an idiot. It's like stealing home. Yeah, there's a new coach learning curve. I think he panicked, but it's like, worst-case scenario, Blaine Gabbert's on his own two yard line. Sure. And they're going to hand off on first down. They're not going to throw.

So now it's going to be second and 10 from the two yard line. You're in the driver's seat. This is all great for you. It's okay if you don't score a touchdown. No question about it. I think that Falcons team is fraudulent. Well, they've lost three out of four now. They're on a bye.

Yeah, I don't see them. I see any of the NFC West teams that don't come in first jumping them. So since the last time we did this podcast, we wagered fairly heavily on the Rams at 20-1 to win the NFC West. House and I talked about it. I still feel good about the bet. You do? Yeah.

How many wild cards are there? Four or five in the NFC? Well, I know. It's just we're running out of room there. They're four and four. Here's my question. Yeah. Are we sure Green Bay's a playoff team?

Yeah, I think so. Okay. You look at their schedule. Well, I mean, they do have holes. Their defense is not playing well. Peppers is. You sure that's a good team? I think it's good enough.

I think it's a playoff team for sure. But who's going to, like, they're tied with the Vikings now. Everyone's making a big deal out of it. The Vikings go to Oakland. Green Bay's home for sure. They're tied with the Vikings now. Everyone's making a big deal out of it. Vikings go to Oakland. Green Bay's home for Detroit. Green Bay could have the lead after next week and then that'll be that. If you look back, they don't have much. Are you looking at Green Bay's schedule now?

They got two Minnesota games left. That and Minnesota in two weeks. Right. And the big one is home the last game of the season. That's probably for the division. A couple tough ones on here the season. That's probably for the division, right? A couple tough ones on here, though. At Oakland, at Detroit on Thanksgiving, which normally you'd say at Detroit they're favored by nine.

That's an easy win, but I don't know. Thanksgiving games are wonky. Then at Zona, they're playing your team, but Romo will be back by then. Look at the Vikings' schedule, though. I think their opponents are 39 and 26 down the stretch. St. Louis, at Oakland, Green Bay, at Atlanta, Seattle, at Zone on a Thursday, Chicago home, Giants home, at Green Bay. That's pretty tough.

That's a tougher one. I said last week I did not believe in the Vikings. Right. I still don't really believe in the Vikings. I will say this, though. Very good defense. Sure, yeah. I'm impressed. There's only a couple defenses every year where the people everyone just tackles

like they just they bring dudes down the first guy who hits somebody he's gonna bring that dude down Gurley is great yeah and they did a really nice job against him and uh it's a really good defense they're not gonna beat a Rams team by 17 points. They kind of went ugly, but they're damn good. I like that Zimmer, I like that he took the wind. Yep. I thought, if I'm on defense and my coach does that in overtime, I'm fired up. Yeah.

I'm like, this guy loves us. He believes in us. Let's get a stop for him. It's bizarre, but yeah, it was a good call. It was a good call. It's the only good coaching call of the week. It really might have been. I tweeted this yesterday, but it was the worst coach weekend of the season no jim caldwell no indy reed right no joe philbin and no ken wizenhunt and we still had the worst coach

weekend can we add uh a coach you're forgetting uh bill simmons who didn't start a kicker in fantasy this i know can you believe that you have four chances to add a kicker in fantasy this week. I know. Can you believe that? You have four chances to add a kicker. Who would you have gone by? The Ravens kicker? Tucker? Who'd you have? You know what's funny? I put in moves.

I picked up Derek Carr this week. Oh, you're right. You did. David Carr or Derek Carr? Which car did I pick up? It's both. I picked up Derek Carr for like $10. All I had to do was put in $0 for any other kicker.

Right. I just didn't catch it. No. And I'm going lose and uh i'm gonna lose to our friend randy yeah he was very excited about it yeah i became that guy you're the guy it's worse than when you actually make another move but don't address that is bizarre until you brought that up because you blocked me from picking up car i i uh i know i wanted to pick up a quarterback to block Hench, who ended up taking Fitzpatrick. My whole plan was, I'm going to pick up Carr and I'm going to trade Palmer or Carr to Hench

for Sammy Watkins. And they didn't want to trade Sammy Watkins. And he had like 200 yards rushing. I just love Sammy Watkins. But Carr's for real. Did Hench have a kicker you could have taken from him? If I would have helped. I think the Raiders are for real. I like that Raiders team. Did Hinch have a kicker you could have taken from him? If I would have helped. I think the Raiders are for real.

I like the Raiders. That team can throw the ball. You can't like their defense too much. No, but they're going to be in every game. Yeah, they're not bad, though. They're going to be lingering. They get a touchdown in the first quarter just about every game, which is what not a lot of teams can say.

All right, let's make this quick. first quarter just about every game which is that not a lot of teams could say all right can we uh let's make this quick i mean so i can't even we've been doing this pod i think this is our ninth year together yeah i don't even know how many terrible sunday night cowboy losses we're up to but it has to be 15 over 15 i think so yeah over under 15 and a half yeah that's about right because it's about uh it's probably two a year, seven or eight. NBC should just show every Dallas game on Sunday night. They just shouldn't show any of their teams. If Dallas is on Sunday night, it's going to be an awesome game.

It might go to overtime. Nobody's turning the channel. They should show the reruns on Tuesday night. They should show the Saints Cowboys from Sunday a month ago. It would still get good ratings, I think. I don't mean to insult Sam Bradford here because obviously he's a way better athlete

than I am and he's probably one of the best 20 people in the world at what he does. But to lose a game when that dude only has the ability to throw five yard passes, it's like he can do nothing else. He can just throw short quick dump

passes he has no other skills as a quarterback and to let him drive on you in overtime it's like just just stack the line just get ready for the pick play wait he's not going to throw deep and and of and of all the incredible stats i've read the fact we don't have a sack in the fourth quarter and didn't even come close yesterday, I don't know how you're going to win. And I have to be honest about not being honest with you. I really did think the Cowboys had a playoff chance. And I get crazy when they're up 7-0.

I didn't know how to break it to you, but they get up 7-0 and I start thinking, all right, okay, we're up 7-0. We won this game. We're going to win at Tampa Bay next week. The Giants are going to lose to the Patriots. It's going to be a half game out. This is terrific.

And then we stay at 7 forever. And then every drive, a different defensive player goes out and Castle throws a pick six, a horrible pick six. And then by the fourth quarter, the defense is shot. And then we lose the coin toss. So it doesn't even matter. There's just no way we're stopping him from there yeah well you should be able to stop sam bradford when he can't throw more than five yards right it's frustrating it seemed like at least

manning who who some of his passes actually levitated in the air like a magician right yeah they're just in the air they're just like whoa that that's actually stopped. It's just stopped. How did Doug Henning do that? Yeah. But at least he tries to throw deep, to be honest. Yeah. But I also think the Eagles and other teams are on to the Cowboys. Like, they're just like, all right, we just have to stay close in the fourth quarter. And even if we go to overtime, it'll be fine. Like, Jason Garrett's just, I don't know.

I mean, the last Cowboys coach to have a losing streak like this was Tom Landry. They got rid of Tom Landry, but we're keeping Jason Garrett. Well, Dez was pretty good yesterday. Yeah. But to lose that combo is pretty tough. I didn't think you were very good at beginning. But you can't lose all these games. You tweeted yesterday, I think, that Castle was 11-5, or the Patriots were 11-5 with Castle.

That's amazing. Didn't he make the playoffs on the Chiefs? I think he did. I'm pretty sure he did. I vaguely remember wagering against him and really enjoying it. I think that's all the proof you need that Bill Belichick's a cheater. That Castle won 11 and five. That Matt Castle guy won 11 and five.

Sorry. It's bad enough that your season's been shot to hell. But then you have Greg Hardy on your team. Right. It's hard to remember an athlete generating a more one-sided collective disgust than Greg Hardy these past weeks. And then people are asking me, hey, man, I haven't even talked about Greg Hardy that much. What does he say? He's a terrible guy. I don't even talked about Greg Hardy that much. What does that even say? He's a terrible guy.

I don't know what to say. He's not remorseful. Right. And that's the worst part of it, isn't it? Yeah. If you get Michael Vick with the dogs, he was sorry right away. And even Ray Rice showed some remorse. But then you see Greg Hardy, and he looks angry, and he plays an angry position.

And he has the earring and some tribal paint on his face. I think it's eye black, but it's in a crazy form. And you're like, oh, man, how do you feel bad for this guy at all? But, yeah, that's like, I don't know what to do here. Like, he was suspended 10 games. He's not a good guy. He probably should be getting help and not playing football. Everything that happened was defensible from a legal standpoint.

And people are crapping on the NFLPA. Normally I'm always looking for a bad guy in this whole thing, but it seems like every checkpoint was kind of hit here. Everybody knew what happened. And really the only way this changes is if Jerry Jones was married to my wife or your wife. That's going to happen happen by the way well no if he had like one of our wives and and he's going home on like a saturday and they're reading the stories and

they just go why is this guy on your team you have to wave him now just do it now and be like yeah you're right i should wave him yeah but that's really the only way this is getting fixed. We don't talk about what a leader he is. I know. It's bad. Jerry Jones doesn't care. What does he care? But I think the point, and maybe somebody else has made this point and I just didn't see it, but the point that struck me is Ray Rice, who did an equally reprehensible thing, seems really genuinely remorseful about it, has said all the right things. Goes a long way. Went to counseling.

Stuck with his lady that he had all the issues with. And is trying to get back into football and can't. He's like poison. He's a pariah. Right. Because video is worse than a still. Basically, that's it. That's what we're talking about. I don't even know if that's it.

I just think Greg Hardy's better at football. You think so? Well, that's true. And if the roles are reversed and Ray Rice is Greg Hardy, he yeah he's on a team right now ray race isn't good enough so people are like yeah screw it i don't need the aggravation if it's greg hardy he's one of the best 10 guys at his position like yeah you know what i'll deal with the aggravation um and i'm not i'm not defending him but the the and like i said he needs help probably shouldn't be playing football but the the picture doesn't do as much for me as everyone else.

Like, everyone's outraged. I must have a better imagination than everyone else. I can figure out what happens when a 300-pound man beats up on a 120-pound girl. I know. We didn't need the pictures to be more repulsed. I know the Nazis were bad. I don't have to watch the History Channel. The body's getting tossed.

I know the Nazis were bad. I don't have to watch the History Channel. The body's getting tossed. I know. Well, and that was what was weird about the Ray Rice thing was it was clear what happened in the elevator. And then everyone, like the video added this second layer to it. Well, she was knocked out in the elevator. What do you think happened? Yeah. But no, it's really discouraging.

And it's, you know, fundamentally, it's supposed to be entertainment. It's Sunday night. I'm watching football. I shouldn't have to be entertainment sunday night i'm watching football i shouldn't have to be in this whole moral quandary i just think i think he should take a leave of absence yeah or the cowboy should have encouraged it or something i i don't think it was right that he played on sunday i wish they had come up with a better solution than that but again from a legal standpoint i don't really know what the options were he like he served his time everyone agreed what the suspension was yeah and they knew what the photos standpoint, I don't really know what the options were. He served his time. Everyone agreed what the suspension was.

Yeah. And they knew what the photos were. And I don't know. I don't know how you get out of that one. No. Well, you know how you get out of it? You go two and seven and then two and eight. And then it's easier to make a moral declaration.

Like, okay, we're going to sit him, our season shot anyway. Or sit him or wave him. Yeah. Well, if you wave them, you'd have to pay his salary. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah, this is not a multi-year contract. I think it was two years.

It was two, right? Right. And yeah, he's not going to not get paid. The real problem here is that Jones didn't seem remorseful or sad at all about any of this. He was a leader. And Greg Hardy did not seem remorseful or sad about any of this until like very in the last 36 hours and I think uh I think how Ray Rice handled it at least I've I feel I don't know if it's true but it seems like he feels bad it seems like he's worked on some stuff I don't know

if Greg Hardy's worked on anything no and there's all those cutaways to him looking angrier than ever and it just it just doesn't help. Yeah. Well, it wasn't a fun game. No. Not a lot of entertainment value. Good God. Can we talk about the Mets? Let's go on.

You're going to lose Daniel Murphy, right? Oh, yeah. I think him and Cespedes. Dodgers? I don't care where he goes. I could see it, maybe. Do you hate his guts for the rest of your life because of that air on Halloween? No. No? No. I don't care where he goes. I could say it maybe. Do you hate his guts for the rest of your life because of that error on Halloween? No.

No? No. I don't know. Was that one of the five most excruciating sports plays of your life, like looking back? The Duda play was, oh, you're talking about the game. Yeah. The Halloween error. Yeah.

I mean, it was just that, the Familia giving up a home run after 21 straight saves. The Duda bad throw. All of it. I was kidding. I don't really want to talk about the Mets. Okay. Yeah. Monday, Week 10. Yeah.

Four buys. Atlanta, Indy, San Diego, San Francisco. Yeah. Only Atlanta is a winning team. You know what? Before we bring you the Week 10 picks. Yeah. Only Atlanta is a winning team. You know what? Before we bring you the week 10 picks. Yeah. So I wish you knew the feeling of great fitting underwear that's two times softer than cotton.

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doing the live i should do it i mean there's so much i want to do i'm like yeah lift your shirt let me see these underwear these are great this must be terrific they really are comfortable i think we underrate underwear men under underrate underwear as a whole. Like, we'll wear underwear until the bitter end. I have underwear that has holes. My balls just fall out of the underwear. Literally, they fall out. And I won't throw them out.

And then MeUndie sent me some. I got to throw out my underwear. Yeah, you can get new stuff. All right, week 10. We have a Thursday night game. Jets-Bills. Wow, what is that? Oh, my God.

That was my broken Blackberry just going crazy. Bills and Jets, yeah. So Jets didn't look great. Really felt like the Jags could have beaten the Jets. Bills looked really good. Tyrod Taylor and the Bills, they're a little bit frisky. Just a tiny bit. I have the Jets by six

and I like the Bills. Wow. All right. I had Jets by four and I thought that might be a little low. It's Jets by three. Oh, wow.

That's crazy. I know this Tyrod Taylor makes a difference, but are we saying that the Jets and Bills are even? I don't know what to make of Thursday lines anymore. I'm three points off every time.

Yeah, it's true. I was with you, too. I grabbed Cleveland in the points last week. And the Bills won our Loser Leaves Town match. We called it Bills Dolphins. That was Loser Leaves Town. We can cross off the Dolphins now, right? They are allowed to come back.

They can wear masks. They can come back as like the frisky fish or something. 3-5 at Philly. Home for Dallas. At Jets. Home for Ravens. Home for Jets. At San Diego. Home for India and New England. I'm crossing them off. They can't do better than 9-7. I don't think so either. But then you look for that

second. I know you're positive the Raiders are going to be there. And you like the maybe. What do you like? I'm not positive. I don't know who's going to be there. You like the Jets, Raiders, or Steelers. You'll say two of those three. You think Buffalo and KC have an outside chance? I think the Jets QBs kill them.

I don't think they can go 10 and 6. Could the Bills go 10 and 6? Let's say they win this. They lose to the Pats on Thursday. Win in KC. Home for Houston. At Philly, at Washington. Home for Dallas. Home for the Jets. They have a favorable schedule. Yeah. They lose to the Pats on Thursday, win in KC, home for Houston, at Philly at Washington, home for Dallas, home for the Jets. They have a favorable schedule, yeah.

That could be 10-6. I think they have a talented team. I just think Rex Ryan was kind of screwing them up a little bit in the first two months. Now that McCoy's back, they're going to get Carlos Williams back soon, Watkins is getting healthy, Tyra Taylor's back. This could be a second Loser Leaves Town match for them, Tyra Taylor's back. This could be another, a second Loser Leaves Town match for them. Back to

back. It might be. It might be. The Jets are the fact that the Jets are 5-3 though is kind of amazing. Yeah. They beat the Browns. They take care of business against the bad teams for sure. They beat the Browns, the Colts, the Dolphins,

Washington, and Jacksonville. Congratulations on those five wins, Chance fans, really. But they'll probably have like four more easy ones in there. Who knows what Dallas will be when they play them in December. Yeah. All right, let's go to Dallas at Tampa Bay Sunday. Oh, I put this in the Vegas zone for you. Really?

Yeah. Tampa by five. Wow. Yeah. You're way off. I said it's a pick, and it's Tampa by one. It's in Tampa Bay? It's in Tampa Bay.

What am I missing? Bill Simmons will be taking the Tampa Bay Bucs on Sunday. Tampa's pretty decent. Well, the Giants gave them how many points? Two and a half? Yeah, but that game was 2018, and Tampa had the ball. They didn't do anything. Giants kick a field goal.

It's a fair line. Yeah. Yeah. I thought they were in that game, though. I thought they were pretty even. I like Jameis. Yeah, he's fun. Jameis, I hate making such an easy QB comparison because everybody's been making about him,

but he really does. Him and Cam are definitely very similar with the way they move around, how fearless they are. He reminds me of young Cam. I don't think he's got enough credit for how few mistakes he's made in this month-long stretch. Did you see the play when he scored on the touchdown and he jumped over five people? He's solid. I like Jameis.

He's solid. They're better off sucking and getting one more great pick and then next year making their run. Yeah. I'm thinking about that too like how how do we avoid romo coming back and going six and ten where we can really be like three and thirteen and get a well this really could be your one chance at yeah monster dude a monster dude yeah i thought we have a monster dude the guy with the earring and the paint on his face oh

definitely kind of monster how many one-win teams are there there's only a couple right only detroit and cleveland have a worse record than dallas right now and cleveland has two wins they have on his face. Oh, definitely kind of monster. How many one-win teams are there? There's only a couple, right? There's only Detroit and Cleveland that have a worse record than Dallas right now. And Cleveland has two wins. They have two, but they're two and seven and Detroit is one and...

I don't know. What are they? One and seven. Yeah, you might have to throw away this season. Well, that line's too low. Yeah, you love that. I don't think your team's very good.

No offense. I don't either, but back's way against the wall, but I know what you're saying i think your backs have been thrown through the wall detroit at green bay detroit at green bay i watched that packers game it actually turned it off on the four tvs kevin brady was over yesterday oh yeah uh had it on turned it off 37 to 14 done yeah put on some other games and then uh all of a sudden it was 37-29

and they had the ball and they're driving. And I don't know what happened. You can't count out Aaron Rodgers. That's what happened. I want to know how you give up 37 points to the Panthers. That's what's bad. To Devin Funchess and Ted Ginn Jr. and Greg Olson, who's the only guy that he has to throw to every time.

And Jonathan Stewart. And what is going on? And Carolina might be better than Green Bay. denver might be better than green bay but they're not we're turning the tv on and they're three touchdowns down or 17 points down green bay and that's just not right it's their defense it's their defense is is really really bad lately don capers is still there right yeah i i've never been a fan of his at any point of his career or life. Well, this is like going to the doctor and getting a double shot of espresso antibiotics. I have Packers by 10 and a half.

Well, I said 12 and a half, and I thought that was low. It's 11 and a half. So we split it? Yeah. Let me do some math. I like when teams fire their offensive coordinator like it's his fault. They fired everyone. That'll make it better.

Let's fire the offensive coordinator. Why isn't this, if Green Bay is 8-0, isn't this spread 14? Yeah. Like if they're 8-0. So I think they're 6-2. They need the game more. I almost think it should be more of the spread. I looked at, when I was deciding what the spread would be i

looked at all the games they've played they have two double digit wins and i i happen to watch both of them packers 17 niners three that was a total kaepernick just being a competent game yeah like really the niners should have scored more than three points against them right and then packers 24 rams 10 i watched that game too the rams in that game. That was a way closer game than 24-10. Definitely. The Packers haven't laid the smackdown on anybody yet, and it's mid-November. No, it's been a miserable five weeks. That's why they turned it on here.

I think midweek we hear a relaxed or similar comment from Aaron Rodgers. Well, when Houston and I did our best bets on Friday, he had Carolina, and I took the Packers. And then I thought about it for two more days, and I switched to Carolina. Because I was like, I don't trust this Packers team. They haven't done anything yet. Good pick. I'm trusting a team that wasn't around. Right.

Yep. I did talk, for some reason, I had the Niners all week. I was like, Colin Kaepernick sucks. That's not a reason that this line should go up. Blaine Gabbert's just as incompetent as Colin Kaepernernick is and then last second i'm like uh blaine gabbert third string running back yeah for i can't do it i just can't take them and then i just kicked myself the whole day they didn't score 40 they scored 17 like atlanta should be you know i know but there were two lines that were too high

and i got sucked into both of them that falcons line was too high and the saints shouldn't be seven point favorites over the titans like the saints every everybody in the league can score on them they shouldn't lay that many points to anyone that was glad well we'll get to that but yeah uh let's do that now saints at at washington and i agree like they scored 52 points last week or against the Giants, and everyone says, oh, they're going to cover. But that line, Tennessee, and I had Tennessee, that line went

from minus nine to minus seven. Who bets on a scrub team down to seven? Can we make a rule that any time somebody fires a bad coach, we're picking them the following week? Yeah, I guess so. Let's just do that. It wins every time. But if you watch that Tennessee game, Mariota was on their way to getting blown out, and he threw them the following week. Yeah, I guess so. Let's just do that. It wins every time. But if you watch that Tennessee game, like Mariota was on his way. They were on their way to getting blown out, and he threw in the double coverage,

and that ball got popped up, and Delaney Walker picked it up and ran in for a touchdown. I did see that. And that just got the offense going. It was so weird. This sounds like the bitter rantings of somebody who put the Saints in a tease. Mm-hmm. Did you have the Saints in a tease? No, no. I had the Titans. I picked the Titans on SportsZone. My only freaking win of the Saints in a tease. Did you have the Saints in a tease? No, I had the Titans.

I picked the Titans on sports. My only freaking win of the week. What tease did you lose? You lost a tease yesterday. The Falcons and your Patriots, which is easy. Oh, you tried to rope me into that on a text. I did, I did. I wasn't betting on the Falcons.

Well, first of all, the Patriots, when was the last time they lost on a two-team teaser at home? I got scared when Jamie Collins got announced out. You realize we have no offensive line right we have no offensive lineman we came from fleming at left tackle yesterday you have history behind you just look at the numbers but atlanta should have won that game dan quinn i'm so upset about the dion lewis injury yeah first of all he's on my fantasy team right he's my best pick in like five years i spent a dollar on him before the season started yeah but he's people don't realize because his stats aren't great but we don't have another third down back who's above

average right and brady like needs that guy like the two super bowl drives last year when down 10 shane varine had like 45 catches on those two drives. He needs the safety blanket guy. Deion Lewis is the best guy. And on top of that, actually breaks plays and does stuff. I think that really hurts him. Well, what are you going to do? I mean, it's not like you'll trade for Jonas Gray to get him back or something stupid. We can't trade yet. I want the Chargers to give us Whitehead.

I think it's fair. Or, sorry, Woodhead. Danny Whitehead. Whitehead. You could have Whitehead. You could have Lucky Whitehead. I want Whitehead and Woodhead. We want Brady. I think they should give us Danny Woodhead. I think it's fair. Or, sorry, Woodhead. Danny Woodhead. Whitehead. You could have Whitehead. You could have Lucky Whitehead. I want Whitehead and Woodhead.

We want Brady. I think they should give us Danny Woodhead. I think it's fair. Yeah? Yeah. We'll help them. All right. How about this?

Kraft goes, you've got my vote for the LA move, but we need Woodhead. Oh. Wave Woodhead right now. That seems fair. Yeah. It's fair, right? That would be the most reasonable legal thing the Patriots did in a while. Oh, my God.

All right. New Orleans at Washington. I hit this exactly. I had Saints by three. I don't feel good about it. Yeah, I had two and it is two. Saints by two. Two, see, there you go.

Trap game, right? This new era of weird point spreads. Yeah. Saints by two. Yeah, you're right. That doesn't make any sense. Saints four and five. Usually last year that's two and a half

before the stupid extra point rule. I'm with you. Jacksonville, Baltimore. I went too high on this just because I think people are going to think the Ravens, this is their last chance. I have Ravens by 6. Yeah, I said 6 as well. It's 6.5.

You didn't go too high. So they're 2-6 and they have Jacksonville and St. Louis at home. They're at Cleveland on a Monday night and at Miami. Yeah, the hard games are behind them. You could make a case

they're going to be six and six in three weeks. Oh, man. And then they would go Seattle Sunday night, home. KC, home. Pittsburgh Sunday night with Roethlisberger's

amputated foot home at Cincy and Cincy will have wrapped up the division and they're playing Catherine Webb's boyfriend. Right, right. I have to see a little more from this Ravens defense. I think it's last in the league against the pass. Here's my point. I hate the Ravens. Just drive it. This is

now the end of any Friday the 13th movie. Just make sure you chop the head all the way off. Don't just put the machete in the neck. Like actually cut the head off. I don't know if Jacksonville's capable. I don't think they are either. Bad teams find a way to lose on the road. They just do. Chicago at St. Louis.

So we're taping this on a Monday and we don't know what the Bears are going to do tonight. I like the Bears tonight. The Chargers at home. Why do they get any home field advantage at all? There's going to be 30,000 Bear fans there. I have... You have indigestion, it sounds like.

I know. I drank this sparkling probiotic drink. Don't read the label unless it's a sponsor. Don't you dare do it. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not telling you what drink it was. I had the Rams by seven and a half. Oh, dare do it yeah i'm not i'm not telling you what drink it was okay i had the rams by seven and a half oh you nailed it exactly i said six i went a little light there here's the problem with the rams if they're down by seven points in the second half

it's basically over you think so yeah well they just how many times can you run uh the quick screen to tave on austin the reverse, the screen pad, the delayed screen. It's all like garbage offense. They can't move downfield. It is weird. Tavon, like how does a guy like that, he gets like eight carries a game now, Tavon Austin. They need to study the Joe Flacco every 10 passes, just throw it up for grabs play. That's what they need.

They need to incorporate that. I think they need to somehow get us, turn back time, and get us to take our ramps to win the NFC bet out. Because part of that bet was them beating Minnesota. They did lose Robert Quinn for that game, like right before the game, which made me nervous. Because he's only one of the best 10 defensive players in the league. No line on this.

Cleveland at Pittsburgh. I don't know why there's no line. No one thinks Roethlisberger's coming back, right? I mean, they're just trying to save the foot at this point. Yeah, sure. Save it. I mean, I said seven, but... Yeah, it's not countless.

Steelers by eight, whatever. Yeah, they should... Have the Browns covered every first half of the season? Is that like the secret great bet of the year i said yeah that's it and and conversely whoever they're playing in the second half is a good is a good bet i think but there's a lot of parallels with the cleveland browns and the sacramento kings really yeah can we time that date how long did it take from the compare this to nba all right our nba whole moment i really resent that let's see it i really resent that kings that's just they didn't move top 10 picks every year complete dysfunction

they keep changing the gm and the coach yeah um they're in the same spot they were five years ago that's true it's just same thing sacramento's in the same spot they were five years ago they've had i looked it up on Friday night. They've had seven straight picks that were between number four and number eight overall. And somehow they still stink. It's like impossible. They took one keeper in seven years. It's bad.

And Cleveland, all they could do is hang Trent Richardson's jersey in the rafters. That's their claim to fame. That they traded him away. Cleveland had a prime pick in the draft that had Sammy Watkins, Odell Beckham Jr., and Mike Evans in it. And didn't end up with any of them. And ended up with some cornerback who's below average. And Manziel. That was their trade.

But you can make as much fun as you want. You have to start Manziel the rest of the year. Just for comedy's sake. Well, you have to go into next year's draft knowing if you need a quarterback. And it looks like you for sure do. But, you know, McCown is not going to get that answer for you. My answer is they need a quarterback. They need one.

Yeah. He looks so small. I know. He looks like he's Peter Dinklage when he's running around out there. It's like Game of Thrones. He really looks like a tiny person. He's actually drunker than Peter Dinklage's character most of the time. All right.

Carolina, Tennessee. What a trap game this is. Who's Carolina play next week? Next week they have to play Washington. Oh, not a trap game. Well, here's what I'm thinking. If they beat Tennessee, they beat Washington. 10-0 against the Cowboys on Thanksgiving.

Can you see the Cowboys winning that? No, I can't either. Oh, my God. I can't. I had the Panthers by 7.5. I said 7. It's 5.5. As trappy as traps get.

Very, very trappy. Hey, you know that stat ESPN's been trying to get going for like 7 years, QBR? Oh yeah. Really great stat. It's good. Here are their top 3 in QBR right now. Carson Palmer, Andy Dalton, and Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Wow. Aaron Rodgers is fourth. Tom Brady's fifth. Tom Brady's been lights out this season. Those are all playoff teams. Tom Brady's been pretty much been mistake-free. He's maybe made four bad passes the whole season. He's not that good.

Cam Newton, 24th. Oh, come on. Cam Newton's 24th at QBR. He's surrounded by Josh McCown at 22, Ryan Mallett at 23, and Matthew Stafford at 25. Cam Newton's 24.

I like it. So the two, by all accounts, the two MVP candidates, Brady and Newton, are fifth and 24th, you said? Kirk Cousins is 20th. Here's my point. If your stat is this off, you got to go back to the shop. Whatever stat you create and like, hey, guys, we got it. This is it.

This is the model. You got to figure it. Reconfirm. And this is what it spits out. You have to shut it down. Yeah, I agree, we got it. This is it. This is the model. You got to figure it. Reconfirm. And this is what it spits out. You have to shut it down. Yeah. I agree. It's amazing they would shut down Grantland before they shut down the stupid QBR stat.

It is amazing. Can we talk about... 24th. Can we talk about faulty stats for a second while we're on the Tennessee game? You got Ken Wisenhunt fired with a fake stat fake stat i feel bad you said he was 6 and 44 i can't add he was 16 and 39 or 21 no no he was he was four out of four and 31 in his last 35 and i added the two and 14 and 39 no that's not what it was i i looked it up i believe he was one he was

one and 11 in his last cardinal season, the last 12 games, something like that. And then with the Titans, he was like 4-22. I just don't know if we could trust anything you say about Commissioner Goodell. Maybe he never did anything wrong. I don't know. Don't get carried away. Do you know who's leading the league in rushing right now? Freeman, Martin, any of those guys?

I don't know. Peterson. Oh, he jumped up. Here's your top five in rushing. Peterson, Devontae Freeman. Did he even get drafted in our league? He's like a dollar guy player. Chris Johnson?

Yeah, that's right. Chris Johnson's up there, too. Todd Gurley. Yeah. Doug Martin. Doug Martin. Latavius Martin. Yeah.

Frank Gore and Mark Ingram. Those are your top eight. Yeah, this is why. Hold on, I got a little more for you. Draft an hour late next year. Top fantasy guys, non-QBs. DeAndre Hopkins, Antonio Brown, Mark Ingram. Mark Ingram.

Yeah. Odell Beckham, Peterson Gronk, Lamar Miller, Larry Fitzgerald, Chris Ivory, and Julian Edelman. Chris Ivory's another one. That's another good one. Top six QBs. Brady Breeze. Where did Breeze go for? Like five bucks in our draft?

Yeah. Five or seven, I think. Rivers. Dalton. I don't think Dalton got drafted. No. Cam Newton. Rivers was a good one, too.

That was another $4 player. Cam Newton, 24th in in qbr but your fifth guy and then aaron rogers yeah i mean you could have alan hearns alan robinson chris johnson doug martin and tyler eifert and you you'd have to be in first place in fact i traded after like week one when des got hurt i traded terrence williams for tyler effort you did do that right wow i'm also the same guy i didn't start a kicker last week. So I'm not congratulating myself too much. That was pretty good. My whole point is that fantasy football is ridiculous.

I know. And it's stupid. And I don't know why we torture ourselves. And it's a crap shoot. And when I'm sitting there next year at the draft and everybody's bidding $58 to $60 and Doug Martin and all these crappy guys who are clearly going to not be as good, I'm just calling it out as it happens. Right.

No, I agree. I'm playing my buddy. This was a bad week because six teams were off. And my friend on the East Coast, my friend Chris, had six. He had no running back. He had one running back. Oh, he had Woodhead. And he needed a running back.

Didn't pick one up Thursday. I'm like, oh, wow. And then all the good ones went. Saturday, he picks up Shane Vereen. Catches a touchdown for the Giants. I'm like, Oh wow. And then like all the good ones went like Saturday, he picks up a Shane Vereen catches a touchdown for the giants. I'm like, Oh, I lost. It's terrible.

So in my East coast league, I went all in on Chikandrick West. Yeah. And, uh, and Alfred blue, but that turned out great. But so I was at $0,

but I thought it was like our league where even $0, you could still put in bids. Oh, you should be able to. I can't. So here's who's on my team right now. We only have 14 spots. We can start 10. Le'Veon Bell.

No longer plays football. Right. Joseph Randall. It's not a keeper league, right? No, no, no. It's just this is my team. Okay. Joseph Randall.

Mm-hmm. Is he like in prison? Where is he? You won't see him. I won't see it no so i've done it 12 players well drop those guys oh you oh you can't pick them up you have to try i can't make a move you have to make a trade and i have terrence williams who's now irrelevant yeah so oh god is it i started like four people on a bi-week and now it now now it's just awkward. Everyone must hate you there. That's not good. It's not good.

It's not good at all. I did a bad job. Bad job by you. Miami at Philly. Bad job by you. Miami at Philly. I have the Eagles by six. And can I just say, I hate watching this Eagles team.

Remember when we were all like, oh, Chip Kelly, this is going to be so much fun. This team is awful to watch. No, I know. They play terrible football games. They bring the worst out of the other team. I said minus four. You're going to get it. It's minus six and a half.

That seems a little high. I'm going to get it because I nailed it exactly. You said six, right? Yeah. I thought it was six and a half. Whatever. The one good thing about this, this Jordan Hicks is going to be the defensive rookie of the year. He hurt Romo.

He had to pick six yesterday. He's phenomenal. When they drafted Jordan Hicks, I thought it was like the American Idol, the guy who came in third season seven. I was going to say, good supermodel name, too. Yeah. Jordan Hicks. Jordan Hicks.

He was on the same side. Victoria's Secret model. Yeah. She's now dating Leo DiCaprio. Well, he might be the best player in the NFC East. No. That's bad. All right, late afternoon games.

Do you have to read a thing? Sometimes you read something on... I'll read something, but what's our best early game? Oh, the best game or our best... The best early game. Wow, they're not that good. It's bad, right? This sounds like a weekend that I should go to Zoe's last soccer game.

Yeah, you might want to touch that. Wow, Miami at Philly is the best early game. Is that right? I don't think we should bet because I don't want us to get ripped off. Hey, Sal, speaking of getting ripped off. Oh, good one. Thousands of people who want home security systems get ripped off every day. They write huge checks

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Sure, yeah. I have to say yes. I mean, where you live, it's one of the safest places in the country. It's bad times, yeah. I thought it was safe. You could rob me you live, it's one of the safest places in the country. It's bad times, yeah. Is it? I thought it was safe. You could rob me blind on a Sunday night. No one would know.

People would be going to rob you and there would just be a lot of Romo memorabilia and like your Shea Stadium foul pole. Right, exactly. Well, I think you should try SimpliSafe. Protect your home with an alarm I trust. Visit SimpliSafe bill.com i'm gonna get an exclusive 10 off just because you listen to the bill simmons podcast that is simply safe bill.com you might have to check it out maybe they'll hook you up i'm gonna check it out when

i someday when i recoup my losses uh from yesterday i'm gonna bet it's not that not that expensive right no i just told you. It's $15 a month. I could do that. I think I could do that. Minnesota at Oakland. There's no lying here. I'm excited for this game.

I like both of these teams. I feel bad that I disparaged Minnesota the last couple weeks. I still don't believe in Bridgewater, but I think their defense and the running, it's kind of the same recipe as the Rams, and they might have a better coach. He's going to play, right? Zimmer's good. I like Zimmer. Also, good home crowd.

Yeah, I think... I like those Minnesota crowds. Well, they got the outdoor stadium, which definitely helped. That outdoor stadium chalked that up to a win. That's good. Take your time building that dome. I think it's fun. So, do you think they should just play every game outdoors?

Yeah. Yeah. Make the other team suffer. I like it. That's kind of what Indy did yesterday with Peyton. Yeah. I like that too. Don't you want to be like, oh my God, no one wants to come play us here.

That's so cold. That's the best. We've talked about this for nine years because we're both from the East Coast. Yeah. And you get used to the cold weather and your your body it's like you you're like an animal that gets used to your surroundings right and then when you leave that and you come back and it's and every time i'm like oh my god it's so cold it's freezing here yeah but when you're in it you don't think that way i don't think that way it's a winter 96

in boston i think we had like 11 blizzards. Never was like, I was like, wow, this sucks. But I was never like, I'm so cold. I'm so wet. Yeah. You still know. Game two for Mets Royals was it was like 36 degrees at night. And I'm like, oh, boy, I am not complaining. I cannot complain here.

Even though it was like the coldest day in New York it's seen since April. But it's like, yeah, it's just, it's great. It's a great field. It's a nice home field field why the raiders by one and a half why isn't there a line because of bridgewater there's a bridgewater i said two so um can i defend the guy who concussed bridgewater for a second yeah i think when you slow-mo anything it makes it look so much more deliberate and terrible than it was yeah in the moment watching it live like bridgewater sliding as the guy's about to launch i i think it's really hard to just tell an athlete to just stop whatever their brain is telling them to do in a split second and bridgewater's bigger

you don't know if the guy's gonna lower his his shoulder or his helmet and these guys known each other since high school and but he will get fined. Oh, he'll get fined. I think we're in this dangerous no-man's land with football now where these receivers are getting hit over the middle all the time and they decide indiscriminately when is a helmet to helmet. Edelman probably got concussed again yesterday. They didn't call it. Or maybe they didn't call it. Yeah, it's messy there.

You know what? It does affect how I watch football, I got to say. Well, you don't want to be watching Sean Hill against the Raiders this week. There's that part of it, too. To Sean Lee, they're like, ah, it's his second concussion in six weeks. And then Al Michaels, who I love. This isn't an insult on Al Michaels. He's like, yeah, he just can't stay on the field.

He's right. He is right. He's right. We may have to cut ties with him. But two concussions in six weeks. I think if that hit, anyone would have gotten a concussion. That's bad. Hey, there's an extra prop here.

Minus $3,600 that Berman brings up Super Bowl XI when talking about this Vikings-Raiders game. Oh. Yeah. Can I bet that? Yeah, I think you can bet it. Teej, Coach Bud Grant has got an answer for Fred Belenikoff. He's got something up his sleeve. And let's see if Sammy White shows up for this one, Teej.

This should be a good game. It's the best game so far. Did I ever tell you I had a whole Sammy White phase when I was a kid? Really? Yeah. Even though I was a diehard Pats fan from day one. That's funny. I loved Sammy White when he was a rookie.

I liked his football card. Remember he had like 10 or 11 touchdowns his first year? I was in the backyard pretending I was Sammy White. I don't know why. Was it Kramer? Was Tommy Kramer their quarterback then? This was Tarkington. Oh, Tarkington and Sammy White.

Yeah, yeah. This was before. I think the Pats had only white receivers that were good, and I was at that point where I was just identifying with black people every phase of my life, so I grabbed on to Sammy White. That's funny. He was so good, and then Jack Tatum basically murdered him in the Super Bowl. That was it.

I was really upset. I was like, oh, my God, they've killed Sammy White. My first favorite receiver. Berman's going to bring that back up. Teach Jack Tatum. Nowadays, thrown receiver. Berman's going to bring that back up. Teach Jack Tatum. Nowadays, thrown out. I love it. Casey at Denver.

This could be good. Broncos by nine? I hit this exactly. I said seven. Let's see where we are here. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I'm beating you. I'm beating you this week.

I thought I was going to do good this week. Manning. Seven to four, not including ties. Peyton Manning. Five to two with two ties. Yeah. Throws four just horrendous passes a game. Now he has to throw an interception a game.

You have to build that in. Should we just bet Peyton Manning will throw an interception for every game the rest of the way? Yeah, let's find out what it is. It's not just the one or two picks he throws, but it's the two that the guy drops and then just runs around in disbelief that he dropped the pass he needs to look at that defenders running around with their hands in their helmet in disbelief that they didn't get a pick yeah yeah it's bad and meanwhile i kept i even tweeted it and and it wasn't like a diss on luck it's just every game he throws one terrible pass yeah he didn't do it yesterday can we talk about this though with uh andrew luck i think people want And it wasn't like a diss on Luck. It's just every game he throws one terrible pass. Yeah, he's a no-no.

He didn't do it yesterday. Can we talk about this, though, with Andrew Luck? I think people want to find out. Well, hold on. Let me... Oh. We take you now to the comments of one Andrew the Giant Luck. Andrew the Giant, you disposed of your rival Peyton Manning

at Walt Whitman High School yesterday. Now you're on a bye. What are your plans for the bye week? Obviously, a gigantic win. A lot of turmoil. A lot of turmoil around us right now. We needed to be positive about something. Playing against Brayton Manning is such an honor.

It was such a great game for us. I'm just really proud of the guys. Sounds like great plans. Andrew the Giant Luck on his bye week. Also, I'm not making an Andrew Luck documentary. That story is also not true. Andrew the Giant Luck is not going to be a documentary on HBO either. How about Tlaib with the ode to Rowdy Roddy Piper with the eye poke there?

Can I make a really mean-spirited Tlaib joke? Sure. That's going to sound bitter because it probably is. Yeah. If you're a Denver fan, I wouldn't worry about Tlaib screwing up a playoff game by acting inappropriately in the last couple of minutes because he will have already limped off the field. Oh, there you go.

He gets injured every playoff game. So don't worry about him screwing up your playoff game. Did he do that? He'll be in the last couple minutes because he will have already limped off the field. Oh, there you go. He gets injured every playoff game. So don't worry about him screwing up your playoff game. Did he do that? He'll be in the locker room. Do you think he was paid to do that so that Manning breaks the record at home? God, Nance wanted it so bad. Yeah, right there, yeah. He had whatever terrible corny line he had ready.

He was like, he had whatever terrible corny line he had ready he he was like it was he had taken his pants off he'd gotten a whole vat of hand cream he was just ready to just have a nancegasm we talked he really was did they talk about that phil sims yeah we talked about this record earlier and what we talked about and nance is just like oh oh nine nine more yards. Oh, please. Don't get this game, right? Oh, my God. They'll have Casey Denver. I need it so bad. I want to call the Peyton Manning record.

I want to be in the Butler cabin. Billy, what's the Masters guy? Billy. Oh, the announcer? No, the head of the Masters. Billy somebody. Come on, Tate. Billy Payne, right?

Billy Payne. See, Tate's from the South. Nice. Yeah, Nance's dream scenario would be in the Butler cabin, no pants on, next to Billy Payne, calling a Peyton Manning record. This is so controversial. I love it. Oh, nine more yards.

He's thrown seven terrible passes in this game, and he's 100 years old. We talked about Jim's orgasms during the game, and we're going to stick with them. Jim, we talked about it earlier. T.Y. Hilton, we talked about how important he is. I can't watch Sims anymore. It's ruined for me.

You can't not watch him. I don't know why. You need to watch Inside the NFL. You don't watch it. It's great. He you can't not watch him i don't know why you you need to watch uh inside the nfl you don't watch it it's great he tries to be funny it's terrific plus all the we talked about stuff you can't no it's over no it's over oh my kid plays my kid plays madden and sims is all that stuff is all over the game he plays madden is he good what do you mean is archie good at madden yeah of. He plays 14 hours a day. Do I have to come over and lay the smack down on him? Oh yeah, please. I wish you would.

I'll never forget it. Jimmy Kimmel Live. Big Tad. Yeah. Who's Jimmy's like office mascot basically. Right. In a good way. He was always his good luck charm for every job. And Tad had, what was his job initially the first two years? I think he was just a PA. He's a PA and somehow Madden ended his job initially the first two years i think it was just a pa production he's

a pa and somehow madden ended up being in the office yeah and we played a few times and he was so arrogant about it and i just throttled him and he's screaming at me in the office and there's like 35 people yeah you know at different desks he's like you you motherfucker! Dude, tat stuff. I think that's why the show suffered the first couple years. My son plays, and so now you can run a franchise. And he runs the Titans. And he's like, Dad, I can't charge

less than $20 for hats. I was like, really? This is what you have to worry about? He's like, we're building a new stadium. I didn't even have to pay for it, but I have to charge $20 for hats? Who's going to pay? I was like was like this is weird they're not even playing the game anymore does he play in jim nance orgasm mode or no i think he does yeah he has to oh pete manning 75 000 yards oh it's really bad we talked about it i think we talked about it enough new england at your New York Giants.

Now, do me a favor. Don't lose this game. Because you know this is a game. I do wish JPP hadn't come back. You do? They went from having no pass rush whatsoever to JPP was good in that game. Yeah. I was, you know. He wasn't bad.

It was a semblance of a pass rush for the first time. Pass by six. The only sad thing is he wasn't able to high five his teammates. How dare I do that. Passed by six. The rails have come off the Bill Simmons podcast. Presented by SeatGeek.

I said six and a half. It's seven and a half. I like that Vegas has confidence in the Patriots and they're not making this a bullshit line. What did you say it was? I said six and a half. It's seven and a half. The line is seven and a half. That's too high. No, stop that.

Don't say that. Why? We have no offensive linemen. We're not going to have Dion Lewis. We lost Vollmer to a concussion. Odds are he doesn't play. Right? Right.

That's bad. Yeah, concussions are bad. Harmon in the secondary, who has actually been pretty good i think he's gonna miss the game we didn't have sheared this week i'm nervous and it's the giants they're gonna think they're gonna beat us if there's one team in the league who's like we can beat tom brady and the patriots it's the giants you're right no i need everyone the nfc is to finish-11, so you have to win this game. You know, it hasn't happened yet. He's been in the garage with the cover on him.

Who's this? Gronk. This is the week. He busts out? He takes the cover off. Good. Good. Do it. Let it be this week.

I don't know if you play Daily Fantasy. I do. This is the week to play Gronk. Really? Yeah. I think they take him for a spin this week. It just went up his now $13,000 to draft as a tight end. Yeah.

I like it. I don't know why anybody would play those leagues with all the researches out. It's basically like going to online poker and just getting murdered by random people who do it for a living and just take money from you. But there's so many people. I mean, you're more likely to match up against someone like me

than someone who's some guy. I thought people were playing like 200 entries at a time, and they just say to themselves, the Titans are going to do well this week, and they just put Mariota and somebody else in 100 different lineups. I thought they limited the entries now or something. I don't know. Well, the good news is it's not regulated at all.

Right, exactly. All right, it's not regulated at all. Right. Exactly. All right. Sunday night, Arizona at Seattle. Is that Patriots-Giants a late game? Late afternoon. Yeah. I'm really focused on it.

I'm going to start focusing on it right now. You should. You should be focused on it. Who's announcing it? Is it Fox or CBS? Am I going to get Nance in that game? I think it's a CBS game. Oh, you're right. That's why Nance needed the Peyton because he's not going to do the Chiefs. Oh, because he wasn't going to get it. in that game? I think it's a CBS game. Oh, you're right. That's why Nance needed to pay because he's not going to do the Chiefs.

Oh, because he wasn't going to get it. Right. Maybe he could do both. Oh, see. Well, maybe it's a Fox game. It's Joe Buck. Usually when the AFC is on the road, it's a CBS game. Oh, yeah, you're right.

Because if it's Joe Buck, I actually like Joe Buck more than most, but he does do the thing where he'll bring up the worst skeleton in your sports fan life. Really? He'll just bring it up. What do you mean? Like with you, if he's doing a Cowboys game, he'll be like, and who can forget when Tony Romo dropped that extra point? He loves that, man.

He lives right in your cemetery, right in your sports cemetery. That's not good. He's not as thoughtful as Jim Nance when it comes to that. Well, Jim nance is a loving man he's like the will ferrell snl character in the hot tub the lovers he just loves everything you're gonna have to animate i love jim nance are you going off it sounds like i'm making fun of jim nance but i'm really not i really enjoy jim nance i enjoy when he calls games i like when he gets so excited about a peyton manning record that I think he might actually ejaculate on TV.

It's the best. We have to have him on the podcast. I don't know how that works out. I had him on once. He was great. He's really funny.

Like Lombardi always said Jim Nance was like an awesome hang. Good. Because they worked together for a couple years. He was like, you would love Jim Nance.

He's the best. He's so funny. He's a ball buster. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I like that. Arizona and Seattle He's a ball buster. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I like that. Arizona and Seattle.

Speaking of ball busters. Ooh. What do you have for a line here? I had trouble between three or three and a half on this. I went Seahawks three and a half. I said three and a half also. Three? And it's three.

Yeah. That is not a lot of respect for the 12th man. Well, I would have gone the other way. I know you have to make a three because everyone wants to bet Seattle, but Arizona's the better team. They're just better. I'm going to do something for our financial interests right now. Yeah.

I think we should talk about how bad the 12th man's been for the last couple of years. We talked about, oh no, we didn't talk about it. No, I think think like you know bulletin board whatever the preamble everybody will forget i just did a preamble that the only reason we're doing this is because we want to bet the seahawks um all right starting right now yeah that seahawks crowd just sucks what happened to the 12th man they're not around they're just more like the non-man.

It's the no-man. No man's land? Talk about getting carried away with your press clippings, 12th man. What have they done at home? I don't know. It doesn't sound as loud anymore, I'll tell you that much. No. You're going.

If I'm Carson Palmer, I'm not afraid going into Seattle this weekend. You're starting to piss them off for the Super Bowl rematch. I see what you're doing. And scene. All right, what's the date? Before we get to Monday night, can I just say, I know you watch a lot of TV on Sunday night. I do. You watch Walking Dead and everything.

Although, I fell asleep during Walking Dead last night, and then I had weird dreams. I don't recommend falling asleep during Walking Dead. No, no. It can don't recommend falling asleep during Walking Dead it can't be the last thing you watch here's the last thing you should watch it's a new show it streams on eBay which is odd it streams on eBay it's called Cinnabon Sisters Cinnabon Sisters

it sounds ridiculous I know but it's Shannon Daugherty and the daughter and Alf and they're sisters and they run a Cinnabon in the Des Moines airport. And it's terrific stuff. I mean, there's eight new episodes every Monday. It's on eBay. It streams on eBay.

That sounds great. There's eight new episodes. Every Monday night, Sunday night. I watched eight last night. And then next Sunday, there'll be another eight. And I think there's 72 episodes in total. I was watching on Amazon Prime that new show Jeff Bridges is an NFL team doctor. I was watching on Amazon Prime. Yeah.

That new show, Jeff Bridges is an NFL team doctor. Is that right? It's a drama. What is it? And somehow they're able to use the logos. Oh. Yeah. It's called Dr. Cover Up.

Oh, that's good. Yeah. That's good. And it's a team. It's the Cowboy. I don't know how they're getting away with it. It sounds cheesy, but I bet it's really good. He's green lighting concussed players to go back. he's like hiding pd results it's amazing wow jeff

bridges when is that sunday night also no it's on there's like eight episodes yeah it's really good i say yeah all right good yeah all right doctor cover-up good wow i'm even further behind now monday night monday night houston at cincinnati bengals by 13 at Cincinnati. Bengals by 13? I like the way you're thinking there, Simmons. Yeah. I said nine and a half, and it's 11.

So I'm a little closer. I won this week, yeah. I think we're tied 5-5 now. So this is the first week that SeatGeek has been the presenting sponsor of the Bill Simmons podcast. And you're now 1-0 in the SeatGeek era. Oh, really? Yeah, that's good for you. I like that. That's good for you. Yep. I'm 0-1 in the SeatGeek era.

Let's remember this. I think I can go undefeated in the SeatGeek era. You need some sort of run to take your mind off your sports hell. The good news is we have all our Houston Rockets bets that are probably going to lose. Didn't they win a game the other day that they shouldn't have? Did they beat the Clippers? They did.

They did, right? I thought about this narrative and I stayed away. And I've been kicking myself for a week. The move to make should have just been to double down on the Warriors. Because everyone was saying they were lucky all year. And we just should have been like, you know what? They're going to be even better than they were last year. Let's bet Steph Curry.

Oh, I'm not allowed to bet, but you could have bet. I could have been vicariously through you. Steph Curry to win the MVP. Warriors are going to be even better than they were last year. Let's load up on them to win the title. They're built for the regular season. For sure, they're built for the regular season. They're so good. Curry's so good.

Should have had them to win the West. He's like Steve Nash 7.0. He's so good. Curry's so good. Should have had them to win the West. He's like Steve Nash 7.0. He's so good. I'm so mad I'm not on that corner. It makes me furious. Your best bet was the Patriots to win the AFC East. It was minus 140. It was one of the great bets of my life.

It was before Brady was announced if he was going to play or not going to play. As we know now, it didn't matter. I think the Golden State to win the West is a similar thing. You could probably still get them. They're going to have yeah as we know now it didn't matter i think the golden state to win the west is a similar thing they were you could probably still get them they're gonna they're gonna have over the clip don't pull that thing out we can't look at this now i just want to say that even though the uh my departure from espn had a lot of downside obviously yeah one of the one of the few upside things was that i had a lot of extra time to read about the flake gate and I knew Brady was getting off I just knew I said to you in mid August

Brady's getting off they can't suspend him they have no evidence they're changing the thing like this is one of the great bets of our lives Pat's minus 140 to win the AFC East we've won every single year except the year he blew out his knee but they could have been 1-3 and they still would have won without Brady,

and they still would have won this division, I think. All right, hold on. What are we looking at? Golden State now? Steph Curry's even to win the MVP. I'm not allowed to bet on that. You think that's a lot for you? You told me Anthony Davis, MVP and Defensive Player of the Year,

was a good bet. The Warriors are plus 260 to win the title. That's still good value. What are they for the division? You know they're going to have 58 wins. Oh, to win the... Yeah. I don't know if they... Oh, yeah. They do have the divisions. Unfortunately, we have a...

They're already minus 500. Oh, man. They were 170 last week. We blew it. I just needed one revelation to be like, you know what? I should be in that Warriors corner. That. We blew it. I just needed one revelation to be like, you know what? I should be in that Warriors corner. That would have been it.

Yeah. I'm frustrated. All right. What do you have to put? Jalen should hit you with his bat, I think. Well, Jalen's happy now because the Pistons are good. No, I know. Yeah.

Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight, Ty Burrell, Lake Bell, and our mashup Monday, Bill, Josh Stone Temple Pilots. That's Josh Stone and Stone Temple Pilots. And later in the week, Anthony Anderson, Rob Lowe, Julia Roberts Joss Stone, Temple Pilots. That's Joss Stone and Stone Temple Pilots. And later in the week, Anthony Anderson, Rob Lowe, Julia Roberts, and much, much more. I'm at TheCousinSal on Twitter and SportsCenter. Late Thursday night, early Friday morning. I'm still fighting that Steelers loss.

I think my best bet streak is intact. I'm still, I'm going to be suing somebody. Julia Roberts, huh? Yeah, yeah. Come on by. I think that's Thursday. Good job by you, cuz. Julia Roberts, huh? Yeah, yeah. Come on by. I think that's Thursday. Good job by you, guys. Goodbye.

Good job by you, Belly. Today's episode was brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies is the most comfortable underwear you will ever wear. It's insane how good they make you feel. They sent me some. Trust me, they're awesome. Go to MeUndies.com slash BS and get 20% off your first order plus free shipping. They'll guarantee you'll be happy or your first pair is free.

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