The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 34: NBA + NFL Picks w/ Joe House

Episode Date: December 4, 2015

HBO's Bill Simmons chats with Joe House about Green Bay's Hail Mary, Kobe's last stand (10:00), Kobe vs. Duncan (17:00), the floundering Wiz (22:00), Paul George (26:00), Stephen Curry's historic 20-game run (36:00), 20 crazy Curry stats (42:00), Curry vs. MJ (50:00) and best Week 13 NFL bets (1:00:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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free shipping in North America. Let's talk some hoops and some football. Yeah. Yeah. Clear. Oh yeah. Friday rolling. Would you have remembered to cover somebody during a Hail Mary or no? If you were in Jim Caldwell's

job, would you have maybe covered one of the receivers? It was really, really, really crazy watching that play on repeat, how it looked like there was an even number of Detroit defenders and Green Bay receivers down there in the end zone. I mean, I didn't freeze the television to do the count, but it was stunning. How can there be an even number? What is the point of not,

how can you not have 10 guys in the end zone? And why are all of the defenders clustered in one spot in the middle of the end zone versus like having maybe one guy in the five yard line in case Rogers can't get it far enough? That was amazing. And as they showed it in slow replay, all four of the guys had their backs turned as the ball was in the air. They all turn around slowly.

And then Rodgers emerges from the five-yard line and just runs unabated into the end zone, jumps up, catches the ball. What a game. I don't even think Jim Caldwell should have just been fired after that game. I actually think they should have put him in jail for like 24 hours on some fake charge and just made him sit in a cell and think about what happened. Well, criminal negligence? It was just unbelievable. Like, first of all. Imagine, imagine, imagine having money on that game.

I was going to say, I think that was one of the most memorable gambling moments of the last 20 years. I mean, the Music City Miracle to me is still the number one greatest football gambling moment since I started gambling. But this one was way up there. It was also, I think, the greatest Hail Mary catch I've ever seen. It was an awesome catch. It was awesome. It was like even if there was nobody else on the field to catch that ball, it would have been one of the 10 best catches of all time.

He said he intended to catch it at its peak, and he really did. It was great. Equally impressive was the throw, right? The throw was great. He threw it, like, what, 65 yards? It actually made me think of, I think the greatest pass i've ever seen and i actually saw this in person was i think second down of super bowl 46 when brady threw that hail mary to moss and almost connected to them and he threw it from the right hash mark and moss was running down the

left hash mark and i think the ball traveled like 78 yards in the air. And he did it effortlessly. Rodgers, like, he threw that one like 65, but I think he threw it high. He did. So the trajectory of it was probably like if you add everything up, it was probably like an 80-yard throw. Or they said, somebody observed on the broadcast, that if they were playing in Dallas, he might have hit the scoreboard. That would have been a great ending. Jim Caldwell would have figured out a way to get a penalty

against the Lions on the scoreboard. It was incredible. There were four incredible ends, or maybe even five this week. We're at the point in the season where there's a lot of, especially if you're gambling, a lot of ways to hate yourself. Yeah. The Monday night outcome. I've learned to hate myself. Yeah. The Monday night. I always hate myself. The Monday night outcome. Yeah.

I've learned to hate myself this season. And mentally, I've packed it in until the playoffs. Yeah, I'm right there with you. There's been like 20 games this year that were just ridiculous endings or ridiculous non-covers or backdoor covers or Aaron Rodgers throwing a 65-yard Hail Mary at the end of the game after a face mask that keeps thinking. And I've somehow been on the losing end of all 20 of those games.

I don't know how I've done it. I feel the exact same way. I know I was 0 for 5 on the ones just over the past six days. I was on the wrong side of Pittsburgh-Seattle. Yeah, I was on the wrong side of that too. Wrong side of the Pats-Broncos. Wrong side of Cleveland-Baltimore. Me too. Wrong side of the Pats Broncos. Wrong side of Cleveland Baltimore. Me too.

Oh, and definitely wrong side of Monday night. Wrong side of that? Monday night was Cleveland Baltimore. And then last night, Lions. I had the Lions plus three. They're up 20-0. I had them too. Not only were they up 20-0, but it was 23-21.

They're up by two. And even if the Packers are going to somehow come back, it's going to be a field goal. But then it ends up being what it is, where it just comes down to a Hail Mary, which happens, what, once every three years? Right. Yep, loser.

Unfortunately, I'm not betting on any of these games. Well, I bet on a couple last Sunday. But I've kind of learned like when it's not your year to steer clear and stay back, stay away. Right. But, yeah, Sal and I had – we did this adjusted line teaser on Sunday with the Steelers to plus 10.5 and the Pats to plus 3.5. It was done. It was over. You were there.

And then the Broncos scored an overtime touchdown. We had three, those three straight night games were three improbable covers. Like improbable. Improbable is the only way to describe them. An overtime touchdown and two touchdowns literally is the game's ending in a row. It does make one question their place on the planet and in the universe when you're on the wrong side of all those. Yeah. Well, it tells me that it's not my year.

Right. I knew when House caused the fumble in that Tennessee-Jacksonville game. Somebody was telling you? I needed to get out. I'm out. Well, the good news is that Kirk Cous is now like the fourth best quarterback in the league he's he's definitely in the top 50 percent rogers brady dramatic progress rogers brady is cousins third no how dare you how dare you i know what you're doing and i't like it. Is he even as good as Alex Smith?

Would you rather have Kirk Cousins in 2015 or RG3 three years ago? Oh, come on. That's not even close. At least this guy stays on the field. Well, the talent and what they were able to do in terms of the flexibility of the offense with RG3 and that skill set. It's not even close. You loved RG3. I loved RG3.

Really tough times for you. The Wizards fans booed John Wall the other night. What the hell? Why are they booing John Wall? That's the dumbest thing. Now, look. Upgrade your Washington brethren. Tell them that that's not okay.

There are many, many, many things to be upset about. That Lakers game, I'm still—I was really mad for two days. I'm still sort of lingering mad. And the thing I'm most mad about before I get to the chastising, and it's tough to take Washington fans to task because there really isn't a solid fan base here. Right. A lot of transplants. Very beaten down.

Not a lot of happy times. Tons of people there to watch Kobe in that last game. It was 70-30 for the Lakers and like 50 of the 70 was just people there rooting for Kobe. But that's the SeatGeek era.

The SeatGeek era. Yeah, the SeatGeek era, our presenting sponsor. But this era where you can just go, if you're a fan of the other team and the other team comes to town, you just buy tickets. And what's going to happen is every game that Kobe goes to or every city that Kobe goes to, there's going to be 40% Laker fans there because of what the current environment is and how easy it is to get tickets. Anyway, I interrupted you. Well, it's either going to be Laker fans or what was going on here, Kobe fans.

People that like Kobe and I don't think necessarily care about the Lakers. People that love one-on-one basketball and freezing all their teammates i'm sorry i had a quick quick tangent i'm gonna go on that that's the most frustrating thing about tuesday night i mean the uh the the the gross performance by by kobe over the course of this season he is in an all-time um uh unprecedented there's only only been one player that's had the combination of usage and terrible efficiency. And interestingly, it was Mahmoud Al-Abdouraouf, Chris Jackson, back in the early 90s.

I saw the stat. Back on one of those Denver teams where they were just telling him to shoot all the time. He was told exactly. He's allowed to shoot whatever he wants, and he wasn't making them way back then. But, you know, the thing that's so frustrating is that it validates this Kobe madness. How could he be playing 32 minutes a game and taking the shots that he takes? It's so disrespectful.

He, he, I couldn't figure out who he reminded me of and then i finally figured it out just and you know both you and i respect kobe we i did a podcast about him on wednesday we talked about the rap report and kang um like this has his career is his career this last year ultimately isn't going to matter i've just never watched anything like this in the NBA before where he goes 10 for 24 and people are like, Kobe came through. It's like he, he shot 10 for 24. We're celebrating this, but it reminds me of Kevin Hart in the celebrity game. Watching Kobe.

You're bitter. You're still bitter, right? You coached Kevin Hart in the celebrity game, didn't you? But you watched the celebrity game and Kevin Hart just seems to have no understanding that he's not very good at basketball. And he's just, he's like, I'm Kevin Hart. I'm just going to drive and take shots. And you still take it personal. You still take it personal. He's a nice guy. It's just like he, he lacked a fundamental understanding of how good he was in a basketball game. And that's what we're seeing now with Kobe. He just doesn't care. So I think, my theory now is that the organization, that Kobe and the organization together recognize that there is a very limited shelf life for how long he's going to be able to play

because he's going to get hurt. So they are maximizing. With the announcement of this retirement, they're going to get in as many games as they can, let him play these crazy 30, 32 minutes a game, and let him do whatever he wants. And that's going to be the thing until he gets hurt. And then he's,

he's going to be out waving the fans from the sidelines. I, I wish I could say I agreed with you. It just doesn't make any sense. Otherwise, what, what other possible explanation could there be? I think we've entered territory that,

that just none of us foresaw coming. This is territory now. This is a farewell tour slash going to see the Eagles in 2015 level experience for people where they're like, they don't care if he's good or bad. They're just rooting for him. And it's like the shots probably aren't going in. They don't care. The Washington crowd, he made a couple shots. He made a big three with like five minutes left,

and the crowd was fired up. It was like the Eagles coming out on stools and playing Hotel California when they're 65. Well, I thought the only analogy that's made sense to me that I've seen is Jeter, Jeter's farewell tour. Because he was so bad defensively that last season. I know, but this would be like if Jeter was in the Yankee lineup, but he batted 10 times instead of four.

He just kept supplanting some young up-and-coming shortstop who was up in the lineup and was like, no, Jeter's going to bat for you again. This is what he's doing to D'Angelo Russell. And then the other thing is they have this team, and they have Hibbert and Metta World Peace and Kobe, and they're actually playing two of the three or three of the three sometimes. I think it's the most ingenious tanking thing I've ever seen in my life.

It really is. Everyone credits Sam Henke. This is way smarter than Sam Henke. Like you're throwing those three guys out. This is genius. And not just that, but like as long as they can get Kobe, keep Kobe healthy, which is not going to be long, probably in a 30-minute game, I mean, the sheer

economics are through the roof, right? Every game now is a sellout everywhere he goes. And that's why I think your theory is wrong. I think this is a cash cow, and I don't think anyone... It doesn't make any sense. It's a cash cow. The tickets are... I was talking to my friend Sully

Who you know my long The MVP of my wedding in 2003 We were so mad we were saying like First of all we knew Kobe this was going to be The last season it was obvious from watching The first couple games the move would have been To just buy up tickets in every city Oh yeah

Just get like a hedge fund Buy five million million worth of tickets or whatever it takes. Just buy every, buy up all the product because now it's like these Laker fans are, are whatever city it is. They're going to, or the Colby fans, whatever. But I get it because you know, I don't, who's the best athlete you ever rooted for? Uh, you never really had one, did you? Well, you never had like a great, great, Who's the best athlete you ever rooted for? You never really had one, did you? You never had a great, great, great legendary athlete in Washington, did you? Ovechkin is probably the closest.

John Reagan was my favorite BC athlete. You never had like... When Bird was there in Boston the last two years, and he had the 30-pound back brace, and now all I remember is the games that he did well in, like when he put up 49 against Portland, or game six in the Cleveland series. You just remember the fun ones. And there were a lot of terrible ones that I blocked out of my mind.

But it was the same thing. We knew it was ending, and it was larry bird and it was our last chance forget like larry bird retired and they had the ceremony for him where they retired his number and there was no game they sold it like it was a game with tickets and 20,000 18,000 people came to the garden whatever it was 15,000 that's great and it was a two-hour event to retire his jersey and there was no game afterwards it was was just everyone left after. So I get it. This is like the cult of Kobe as a superstar, right?

This is what's going on here, I think. He deserves it. He has made a lasting impact. His career and his legacy was perfectly timed with the onset of a change in the overall media culture. And he was perfectly positioned as possibly the most selfish prick with extraordinary talent over the last 20 years. Because the counterpoint to every Kobe move over the last 20 years is Tim Duncan. And how surprised are you and I going to be if it comes to be this summer and whatever happens with the Spurs and the

season and everything, there just is an announcement that Tim's not coming back, and that's it. There's no farewell tour. No, you know, no big planned thing at the beginning of the season. Just, you know, I'm out.

You left out one part of this, though. Which is what? Tim Duncan's an alien. He's going to play for 40 more years. He's not a human being. Well, that's the other part of it. I mean, through the managed minutes and the quality of the franchise, he may very well play another two seasons.

I think at some point, like eight years from now, when Tim Duncan is still playing 30 minutes a game and putting up like a 15 and 10, that's when we're going to realize that he's actually not a human being and he was an alien and that he's been living among us for the last 20 years

and it's going to be a huge scandal. Well, still top 10 all-time NBA. Kobe, top 15 all-time NBA. Kobe, top 15 all-time NBA. Kobe will never jump Tim Duncan. Yeah, I have Kobe. Yeah, I have Duncan one spot ahead. But I have Kobe now ahead of West and Oscar because of the length of the career.

And he basically had his prime lasted from 2000 all the way through 2012. Like a 13 year prime. Yeah. Which I heard we talked about this before. Chris Carter made this point about Brady. I like I hate when other people make points. I wish I had made. But he was talking about everybody.

Every great athlete is a prime. And the ones that are special are the ones that have the elongated prime. Sure. Kobe's elongated prime and the fact that he was just able to stay on the court year after year, from a career standpoint, really makes him special. And the counter to that would be, well, he had a lot of advantages in his era that Jerry West didn't have. And if Jerry West had played starting in 1996 all the way through, maybe he would have played 20 years.

That's why it's so tough to compare careers. Yeah, and over eras, of course. But still, Tim Duncan better. Yeah. Well, and I also think it's got to matter that every player from his generation would have rather played with Duncan than Kobe. I think that does matter. Yeah.

I just think, and maybe they'd lie about it. And Kobe seems to have a weird hold, especially over the under 30 guys who grew up watching him and they really respect him. There is a cult of personality thing that goes on a little bit with him where these guys are all, you know, um, Wojnarowski wrote this piece for Yahoo about Kobe and it was the night he retired and it had this thing in there that was crazy. And I thought it was going to be a big deal just the way the internet works. And it just kind of game came and went.

Did you read that piece? It was like Sunday night. Yeah. I didn't get a chance to read it. It was called why Kobe Bryant decided it was time to retire. Great, great headline, by the way, because it tells you exactly what it's going to be that's what headlines are like now we we talk about as we're planning our next thing here we always talk about our headlines have just changed in the old days there was an art to headlines and there's ambiguity and now it's just like why joe house likesikes to Eat by Adrian Roderowski. When you talk about headlines.

So here's, listen to this piece. Back in 2008, oh, he's talking about how Brian could intimidate LeBron James in 2008. Because he knew LeBron was coming and he's like, I got to get in this guy's head in different ways. Only James was a different man in 2012, an NBA champion now, and had surpassed Brian as the world's best player. Bryant could no longer mess with James and gain a competitive advantage come the NBA season. So he spent the summer imploring Westbrook that he couldn't let Durant win another NBA scoring title, trying to send him back to Oklahoma City with gunning on his mind.

Kobe couldn't worry about the East anyway. He needed to get out of the West again. So he spent the summer of 2012 in Westbrook's ear saying how bad it would be if Durant won the scoring title again and how Westbrook needed to shoot more. That's just casually in there. What a great story. I love Kobe Bryant. What a competitor.

He's the guy Westbrook said. We need a lot more. I need 1,500 to 2,000 words on that. Yeah, how is that not a story this week? What's the relationship between those two? How is that possible? It's the greatest. It's unbelievable.

He spent the whole summer and he's like yeah yeah you know durant does shoot a lot man you could win the scoring title i don't know why you don't shoot more and russell westbrook's like yeah yeah fuck durant i should shoot more it's the best i love it i love you know what's great about that is people don't do that in sports anymore it's like the same reason we always talk about why doesn't somebody sign Enos Kanter to try to fuck the Oklahoma City? And then Portland's like, you know what? Here's $70 million, Enos Kanter.

We dare Oklahoma City to match. Oklahoma City's like, damn it, we got to match this after the Harden thing. Now they're stuck with Enos Kanter for $70 million. Congratulations. Portland, I love that gamesmanship. So anyway, I like that Kobe did that. I was excited.

Good times. Well, look, we went off on this Kobe tangent before I was about to gently upgrade the D.C. sports community. Oh, yeah, please do. Go ahead. Do some upgrading. I honestly think what that moment was about was the culmination of frustration with the stretch that the D.C. professional basketball team has been in.

And Wall's the most prominent feature there. And he himself has been playing terribly this year all the way up until the last three games. He kind of, after the no-show in Boston last week, he really did pick it up and put it on himself and showed some great leadership. He had a great game against Toronto, except for the two missed free throws at the end that led to

the game-winning shot by Corey Joseph, which was unfortunate. But he played very hard and had a great game against Cleveland and he played awesome against the Lakers. But the, the WPs, the Washington professional basketball team,

I mean, they're just kind of lost right now. That was the most frustrating loss. I would say of years, except for I'm frustrated every year by losses with this team. So, but Tuesday night was just an unacceptable loss. You just cannot go beat Cleveland in Cleveland one night

and come back the next night and lose to a team that's only won two games. It's just unacceptable. And the problem is an effort problem, and that's why you have the hometown fans booing the hometown best player. Don't boo them, but don't boo John Waugh. Boo, chant Randy Whitman's name. Because that's the real problem here is that it reminds me,

it's a lowercase version of in 2012 when OKC all of a sudden was in the finals, then they couldn't get rid of Scott Brooks for two more years. You know? And this last year with Washington, they do well, and now it's like,

oh crap, we can't get rid of Whitman. And they should have. I do think he's at his ceiling in terms of his ability to navigate with this team, but they have something more fundamental going on with this year's version. And they're in real, real danger. It's very crazy, and I understand and acknowledge how dumb it is to be talking about the playoffs the first week of December, but they have 10 of their next 12 games are against teams with winning

records. And the two teams that they play that don't have winning records are the North, the Pelicans. And they played down there in New Orleans and Houston. So they're this stretch that's coming up could be make or break for the Washington professional basketball team this season. So you're 7-9 for the people listening right now. The Wiz are 7-9.

The Hawks right now are the 8th seed at 12-9. And the dirty little secret about this NBA season is that the East is better than the West. Golden State and San Antonio are the two best teams in the league. But if you do the top 14, the East is better. The teams would be stacked toward the East more than the West. I watched Indiana Clippers the other night. And we're going to talk about Steph Curry in a second.

But there's been a lot of losers from the Steph Curry slash Warriors onslaught. And the biggest loser is probably Paul George, who would be the biggest story in the league in any other season. The guy freaking broke his leg and then came back last year and wasn't the same guy. And I was like, shit, this guy is a potential superstar. And now we're looking at he's entering that Derrick Rose. We're going to be talking about what could have been for the rest of his life.

And then he's one of the best five players in the league now. So that was you and I covered that point when we did the over-under pot. I think we both went over on Indy. I can't remember why. Because of Paul George. We were betting on Paul George. That observation you just made, he was a top five player. We were talking about him as the MVP of the league two years ago.

He was easily one of the top three guys. He did cool off. He and Hibbert had their, whatever issues they had that led to team chemistry issues. Or he just cooled off. Who knows what happened? Right.

Yeah. Exactly. Or he just cooled off. But in any event, this is the same. This is the guy we saw two years ago. It's awesome that he's back. He's not just back. Like, he's back back.

I honestly did not think for a moment watching. I watched quite a bit of that Pacers-Clippers game. From the beginning to the end, I did not think the Clippers were going to win. Yeah, they're so broken. That's a whole other story. Well, you know, they were missing CP3, and then Redick got hurt in the first position in the game. So I understand. Well, how about this?

Here's another storyline nobody's talking about because it's just Curry, Curry, Curry Warriors, and it should be. But Paul George, Kawhi, who's made a leap, 50% from three. I think he's one of the top five players in the league now. Leading the league in three-point shooting percentage-wise. I'm so mad at you, by the way. Why? Because you talked me out of the 50-1 action on Kawhi as MVP.

No, he's not. Curry won the MVP. It's over. Curry could get hit by a bus tomorrow. He's going to win the MVP out the first 20 games. No, no, don't let that happen. Yeah, not going to win. So, Kawhi, Paul George, a guy by the name of Kevin Durant,

who's suddenly the fourth-best player in his position right now, and LeBron James. Kevin Durant's the fourth best small forward in the league now. How does that make sense? I mean, and he might get hot tomorrow and jump it, but right now, if you're just ranking the guys off their first 20 games, Paul George, Kawhi, and LeBron have all been better than Kevin Durant. That is the deepest position we've ever had. It's spectacular. It's thoroughly enjoyable. Durant's in exactly the right place, by the way. We, before the season started, wanted to see 20, 25 games out of him.

He's coming along. I think he's playing pretty good. Well, he's played, they've played 19 games, and he's played 13 games. I just said I wanted to see him play for two straight months. We still haven't seen it. But he is averaging 28 a game with 7.5 rebounds and 3.5 assists. And I mention that only because I think Kawhi and Paul George

and LeBron have all been better. It's a shame that Billy Dunham couldn't figure out a way to get him on D-Wade instead of Dion Waders last night. It's a shame that Billy Dunham couldn't figure out a way to get him on D-Wade instead of Dion Waiters last night. It's a shame that Oklahoma City had the ball basically with the last shot and ended up with a 27-foot three with a hand in the face. Go to the basket. And then Miami gets the ball, and the TNT guys called this out correctly.

Wade went to the basket. He got a foul. He made free throws. That's what you do at the end of the game. You don't fire up a 27-footer. It's true. It's crazy. Wait, why were we talking? Oh, we were talking about the Wiz. So,

the Hawks are 12-9. The Wiz are 7-9. Right now, you have the Pistons and the Hornets at 10-8. The Hornets are 10-8. Pistons are 10-9. And neither of them are even playoff teams. Right now. That's the scary thing.

I don't know who the Wiz can jump to get into that. You might not be a playoff team. I think that's right. This December stretch is really crucial for them. They have to right the ship now because they have so many teams that they have to jump ahead of to get into the eighth spot. And you have the Hawks at 12-9. It was funny. That was one of our—I mean, I was wrong on a lot of stuff on R&B over underpot,

but one of my arguments with the Hawks was that everybody else was just going to get better and steal their wins. It seems like that's what's happening. I don't feel like the Hawks are any different than they were last year, but they're 12 and nine. Yeah. I still think I still like them at 50. Um, I still like the Hawks. There's not a lot of easy games in the East anymore. Like right now, the Wiz are the fourth worst team. Even if you play Milwaukee, like Milwaukee is not playing well, they're seven and 12. They're going to, you know, that's definitely a lottery team. But it's not like a team that's going to roll over. Like they have talent.

No, no, Milwaukee's scuffling. They can play defense. It's unbelievable how much they miss Zaza. I mean, I think that really is a missing link for them. Yeah, and we always like Zaza. So then you go to the West, and Utah is a 7 seed right now at 8-9. The Clippers have—I just think the Clippers have been awful, and they're 10-9.

The Clippers have—they play— and they had to this last game with Chris Paul because he was out. They play the Austin Rivers-Jamal Crawford backcourt in big moments. Just unbelievable. It's really unprecedented. It's two guys who take into no consideration whatsoever that they might have teammates. It's just like, get out of my way, I got this.

I'll never get over the Austin Rivers thing. I find it so short-sighted and so ill-conceived and so ill-suited for what this team is trying to do. The fact they don't have a legitimate backup point guard is we use criminal negligence earlier. I mean, it's negligence boarding on criminal negligence. I don't know what Doc is doing. I just don't understand it. I'm not saying he's a bad coach because he obviously has been a good coach over parts of his

career, but if you're throwing out Blake Griffin in crunch time, Blake Griffin with DeAndre Jordan, who's offensively incompetent, Luke Mabamute, who's offensively incompetent, and then Crawford and Rivers,

who are averaging a combined three assists a game. What kind of offensive movement are you expecting? And Lance and Josh Smith can't get off the bench. I'm really confused. We had a good Lance sighting, though, Monday. Yeah, I'm worried about your team, House. Oh, I'm there already. Something has happened.

A coach or trade something. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Don't trade Bradley Beal, though. You're mad at Bradley Beal. Well, I don't. He's in the contract year. He wants a max extension. And between injury, he's continued with the frailty that's still vulnerable to these little nagging injuries

that have him missing a couple games here and there. But there's still a lack of aggressiveness that's probably tied to confidence, that's probably tied to the injury, the frailty, the vulnerability, that doesn't have him out there going ball to the wall every single game. And it's just frustrating. He's the one that should have been punishing Kobe Tuesday night. And it should have been a challenge to him to be defending Kobe Tuesday night. And I didn't see it on either side of the ball.

It was really lackadaisical, and that was Whitman's word for it, effort by him. He didn't call out Bradley Beal by name or specifically, but it was a lackadaisical effort by Beal, and it frustrates me. I'm happy to trade for him. What do you want? Marcus Smart? Boogie. I want Boogie.

I don't want anybody on Boston. Hey, House, you've had a long and storied career of eating and drinking. This is true. I know you've had some incredible times at Dunkin' Donuts. Oh my gosh. Is the top nine most important things that's ever been in your life, Dunkin' Donuts?

Top 13? It was a noteworthy moment when they arrived here in Chocolate City and now they're all over the place. And great development for my personal enjoyment of life. They're now available by delivery.

I can have Dunkin' Donuts delivered to my house. I didn't know that. Yeah, daddy. You know what I love about Dunkin' Donuts house? They're always thinking about ways to make their customers happy. Oh. You know what I mean? Sure.

They were the people that invented the giant coffees. Remember when we were growing up, the coffees were in those little cups, and then Dunkin' Donuts were like, you know what, I think people might want a 512-ounce iced coffee. We're going to make those cups. We're going to make cups of all sizes for you. Not only that, but the thing that was really ahead of the curve and ahead of its time was the customizing.

Oh, would you like two Splendas and one sugar and one shot of cream? Yeah. But the thing that was really ahead of the curve and ahead of its time was the customizing. Oh, would you like two Splendors and one sugar and one shot of cream? Yeah. Happy to do that for you, Mr. House. And they mix it right in there for you. Yeah, we think Steve Jobs always gets credit for Apple. They make movies, documentaries about Steve Jobs, how he pushed things. You never hear about Dunkin' Donuts.

We were just drinking coffee out of these 10-ounce cups. The stirrers were never the same size as the cups. Nobody prepared it. All they did was blow that stuff out. Well, now they're doing it again because it's my pleasure to tell you about the DD Perks Loyalty Program. It's how Dunkin' Donuts shows its appreciation to its loyal fans. Members earn points toward free beverage rewards. They get exclusive offers. They get great perks.

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enroll. Use promo code BS when you sign up. Participation may vary. You know, I don't eat bread anymore, really. One of the things that I really enjoyed more than anything else in my entire life were those Dunkin' Donuts,

the egg bagel sandwich thingies they made. Yeah, I still, guess what, I still love bread. And I still get the croissant. The egg and sausage, cheese, Dunkin' Donuts croissant, and the giant coffee. It's one of those things when I'm in a Dunkin' Donuts and I see somebody get the egg bagel thing over there, I start to get the shakes. I just really miss it.

It's one of the few things I really miss about bread. Anyway, Dunkin' Donuts, ddperks.com. We love having them on board. All right, I have some Steph Curry stats for you. Okay. What we've seen this week, and we're going to get to NFL picks after we do this, but we saw this. Everyone's struggling to put this whole Steph Curry thing in perspective and the Warriors.

I mean, it's really like uncharted territory. It's just unbelievable. Yeah, there's no perspective. You can't put it in perspective. And you're saying like, I read a piece about Steph Curry's revolutionized the game because, and there's more, this is a wave, there's more coming.

And Steph Curry could score 50 points if he wanted to. Untrue, by the way. But all these people, they're looking at these crazy hard angles. And I think people have lost perspective here. Like, this is never, this is not happening again. This is like a once in a lifetime thing. There's no next Steph Curry that's going to follow him. This is it.

This is the things that he's doing have never been done in the NBA before. And I'm guessing aren't going to be done again. Nobody's going to shoot like this. There's no next guy in high school who's going to be like, oh, wow, he did everything Steph Curry did and took it to the next level. This is it. This is the only time this is going to happen. That is one interesting angle and impact,

and not to relate everything back to the Wizards, but, you know, the pace and space, space and pace, you know, small ball movement that Golden State really has inspired across the league and that people properly attribute to the Spurs. Phoenix and Spurs. With the real... Phoenix and Spurs. That's right.

There's grandfathers for it. The innovation of that. But the thingurs. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, Phoenix in the Spurs. There's grandfathers for it. The innovation of that. But the thing is, for teams like Washington that are struggling with implementing it, the most important attribute that you need to have for any of this to work is guys that can make shots. It's guys that can make shots from three-point range. Yeah, the Warriors have Steph Curry, who's the greatest shooter of all time. Even I'll admit that at this point, sorry,

Larry legend. Um, and Clay Thompson's probably, I don't know the seventh, eighth, ninth, 10th best three point shooter I've ever seen in my life. Right.

So they have two of the top 10 best three point shooters I've ever seen in my life, including the best ever. And they're on the same team in a 30 team league. That's fucking impossible. You're not repl So you start there, that's fucking impossible. You're not replicating that. Yeah, that's right. That's the point.

That's the point to make. It's not replicable. It's not replicable, A. And then, B, the Draymond Green thing, he's literally the only guy in the league who can play small ball center slash power forward while also being able to shoot threes and playing a-list defense and not caring if he shoots like there's no other Draymond Green

in the league that's so when people are saying this is it this is a wave of things to come yeah it's going to be a wave of really bad imitations of this because nobody has these pieces that's that's the point right this is a once inetime thing. We're never going to see this again. Yeah, what we're seeing are bad imitations, teams attempting to embrace some of these principles and not doing it well. Right, and San Antonio was able to do it not nearly like this. Well, in their own way with their personnel.

Yeah, but it was more the ball movement and just they had all these guys who were unbelievable passers. It wasn't... They didn't have guys who could just take a step and shoot a 27-footer with the hand in their face and make it. These are crazy shots. They've had a nice

string of efficiency from the three-point line the Spurs have. I mean, you go down the hole. They've always been good. Exactly. They've understood how important it is to have that weapon, and they've emphasized it for, it feels like, 10 years now. Golden State's the best team I've ever seen, ever,

at just thriving when there's complete chaos. That's what they want. And it reminded me of when I saw the Blackhawks on Saturday night in person. The Blackhawks have kind of constructed their team a little bit like how the Warriors have it, where they want to kind of be fast-breaking off missed shots and screw-ups, and they always have a guy in the middle of the ice or a guy they're just always there's always a cherry picker and they're always trying to get a two on one. And it's a little like how the Warriors play. The Warriors like want things to get a little messy because then all of a sudden Steph has

the ball midcourt and oh, oh, that's my can you get up? He just made a 26-footer. I think they have this incredible conversion rate of made shots after an initial missed shot. That's the other aspect to that, the other angle to it. They're fine with rushing up, taking a crazy shot, missing that crazy shot, kick it right back out. Oh, now we knock it down. Right. They've mastered chaos. They've mastered the more unconstructed the game gets now we knock it down. Right. They've mastered chaos. They've mastered...

The more unconstructed the game gets, the better it is. But fundamentally, it's not replicable because nobody has anyone like Steph Curry. Nobody's ever seen this before. And then Klay Thompson, to have both of those guys,

is insane. So anyway, I have 20 Steph Curry stats for you. Oh my God. And my goal is, I want to see if you basically have a podcast orgasm. Not on the level of what happened to Jim Nance last night during the helmet. Oh, Rodgers. Oh, oh, oh.

He had a good Nance-gasm last night. I've had a lot of Steph Curry over the last 20 games I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a ride out of me my theory here is that this is the best 20 game

stretch in the history of basketball good theory he's averaging 32, 6, and 5. Right? Handsome numbers. Six assists, five rebounds. Yeah.

Only player who's ever done that for a whole season is Jordan, 89 and 90, and that's it. Sure. He's also averaging five made threes a game. As we caught it in an earlier podcast podcast this is the what the fuck club it's the wtf club 32 6 5 and 5 yeah this is inconceivable it's inconceivable all right so start there um the 50 40 90 club has always been important to all of us it's fun but steph right now is working on the 52 4545-94 club he has an outside chance of creating a 52-45-95

club only 74 players have shot higher than 45% on threes and only three other players have made 250 threes in a season Ray Allen in 06 and then Dennis Scott and George McLeod in that stupid 96 year.

Corver didn't do it last year? No. I'm really surprised by that. Not 250 threes. I know. That's like three a game, basically. I thought he took enough. I'll look it up.

I'm not challenging your stat. I'm just surprised that I was expecting to hear Corver. So nobody has ever made four threes per game in a season. He's on pace to make five. Yeah. Nobody's ever made 300 threes in a season.

He's on pace to make 400. He's already made more threes. What was the stat I heard last night? Van Pelt did it. Oh, I'm getting to that one. Alright, I don't want to interrupt. All right, all right, all right. I don't want to interrupt. I'm getting warm, by the way.

You're warming me up. I know, yeah, I know. Take your pants off. I don't need to do that. He's missed seven free throws all season. He's 116 for 123. This is a sneaky one. He's averaging 2.4 steals.

I just feel like steals is a great player stat. But that's the chaos thing, right? It's a chaos thing, and it's like if you look at Bird and Magic, you look at their numbers and Jordan, those guys are always getting two, three steals a game just because they're great and they're a step ahead of everybody. And they're around. They're around the ball.

They're just doing stuff. Right now, he's leading the league in points, field goals, field goal attempts, made threes, attempted threes, free throw percentage, PER, true shooting, win shares, and plus minus. And he's one steal behind Kyle Lowry for first place in steals. Yeah. I don't have any blood in the upper half of my body right now. All right. This one might maybe uh maybe we should have a safe word if i'm going too far with any of this stuff just start

just yell pineapple if i'm if i'm taking this too far this one amazed me so he's averaging 33.6 points a game per 36 minutes yes um so i i was like, wow, that's a really impressive per 36. I wonder how many times Jordan did that. Yes. Zero. I wonder how many times Kobe did that. Oh, zero. I wonder how many times this has happened ever.

Only once. In Wilt. With Wilt. In 1962 when Wilt averaged 50 a game. That was the only time anyone's had a higher per 36 scoring average than Steph Curry this year. Ever. That's not even Oscar was up there? No, no.

He's the only one. 33.6. Number two all time behind Wilt. Oh my God. He's made more threes than the Heat, the Timberwolves, and the Nets. He's made more threes than three NBA teams. Two and a half NBA teams. True.

He has the highest PR ever, 35.1. Nobody's ever gotten to 32. Right. 35 PR. I was prepared for that one. No player's ever cracked 32. Yeah, only five non-centers prepared for that one. No players ever cracked 32. Yeah, only five non-centers have ever cracked 30.

Jordan three times, LeBron four times, Wade once, and T-Mac once, so he's the fifth. It's a pretty nice list. MJ three times, LeBron four times, Wade, T-Mac, Steph Curry. I don't really totally understand what true shooting percentage is, but he has the highest by

a non-center ever. He's at 700. Only Tyson Chandler and Artis Gilmore have ever cracked 700. We've played 20 games. He has four 40-point games and a 50-point game already. He's made at least eight threes in four games. He's made eight threes in four games. I looked up his 20 games. This was the worst game he had all year and they almost lost and they should have lost and and it's it's i think only me and my friend hershey and eight other people even watch this game but they should have lost

to brooklyn andrea goddard made a double pump three and then lopez missed a two-footer at the buzzer and it went into overtime this was was Steph Curry's worst game of the year. 13 for 31. Five of 16 threes, he scored 34 points. That was his worst game of the year. This is his worst game. That would be Kobe Bryant's best game of the year. I was going to say, that's just a regular Kobe line from 2010 or 2011.

All right, three more. For his career, he's averaging 22, 7, and 4 with 47, 44, 90 splits. That means he has an outside shot. So he's at 47% field goal right now. And let's say he shoots 52, 53% the next three years. Yeah. He might be a career 50, 40, 90 guy in like 2018 you just career 50 40 90 club knock on wood knock on wood knock on wood um the warriors are averaging 115.3 points a game that nobody has nobody has approached that number since the 92 Warriors. Very near and dear to our hearts. 118.7 points a game.

Yeah, the TMC. The Warriors are also making 43.3% of their threes, which needless to say is the highest ever. And they're making 13.7 threes per game, which is two higher than anyone ever. So they get 41 points a game off of three-point shots. Pretty good. And then here's my last stat.

His team started 20 and fucking 0. They went all 20 of their games to start the season. This is the best 20-game stretch we've ever seen in the history of basketball, in my opinion. So did you come up with any portions of seasons that rivaled it? Like the Celtics in 86 or the Bulls in 91? No, I mean, I'm sure somebody could. I'm going to issue the challenge to the nerds out there.

I'm sure Jordan had some great runs. I'm sure the Celts. I'm sure Bird had some great runs. I'm sure Magic did. You know, you go through, I'm sure. Durant had a crazy run two years ago. He did. But you got to start with, did you win 20 straight during the run?

That's an important aspect of it. And then all the other stuff that's going on, like he's just ascended another level. The best thing I read this week was by Ben Cohen of the Wall Street Journal, who had a cup of coffee with Grantland way back when. We always liked him. I always thought Ben Cohen was going to do well. I know this story that you're about to describe. Yeah, he wrote a whole story about how the pregame

warm-ups had become a thing with Steph Curry. Yeah. This is the difference. This has never really happened with LeBron or Kobe as we were trying to anoint all these next guys after Jordan. Jordan was an event, you remember. Oh my gosh.

Yeah, Jordan played. People showed up as soon as they could get in the door. They just want to stare at him as he warmed up. And it feels like that started to happen now with Curry. And that's what the story captured. Yeah, the story did a great job. I didn't realize that there was this kind of phenomena actually started last season. I mean, Steph himself, they got a quote, you know, Ben got a quote from Steph that, you know,

this year's been at an entirely different level altogether. Yeah. But, you know, people come in because they want to see Steph, and it's an incredible moment. You and I, I don't want to say talked about. We talked about it, Hassan, the pregame meeting. Yeah, a few weeks ago, how incredible the pregame ritual is. Well, it's really caught on. Yeah.

And Golden State itself is now going to open up its doors, they're saying, a half hour earlier than the 90-minute standard so that people can get in and get situated before Steph gets going with it. Am I going to put it up on the big screen? And you know what's cool about that is I think in a weird way maybe it warms him up for the game because he's kind of on stage already at 6 o'clock and you get out there and you're just comfortable. I think the thing that's really made this interesting, and this is the level that I think only two teams in the last 30 years that i can remember have gotten to i don't i didn't see

enough of the 87 lakers during the regular season because they were never on so i don't know if they got to this point um 86 outs 96 bulls where they're just killing teams and it's like and their best players are just sitting for entire fourth quarters it's so hard to get to that point that's one part and then the other part is curry's having these you know 28 point third quarter against charlotte but the interesting thing about that was i knew he was gonna i knew they were retiring his dad's number at halftime yeah and i i was running around and they pick up the kids and it's always got soccer practice and um but i really wanted to make sure i saw the third quarter because i knew he'd be

fired up from the del curry thing yeah and then he had 28 and he and he had like one you know a classic steph curry he checked but my point is like he's put up enough collateral now that it's reminds me of the MJ, right? Where if somebody said something about MJ before a playoff game or something, they're like, oh, I'm not missing the next MJ game. You know, and Steph is kind of hitting that same thing where you're starting to get a feel for when he's going to go into heat check mode. Yeah, it's true.

Which is a whole other level. Anyway. And it can come at any moment. I mean, you're right that it was slightly easier to forecast right there from the... From the curry motion, all that stuff. Yeah, exactly. But it really takes him two shots, it seems like. Maybe even just one deep one.

And he's off and running. The thing that I like so much about this, and it's been observed by other people, is how relatable he is and how this particular skill set, it really feels like you're going to an exhibition. Like you're going to, it's not quite Harlem Globetrotters or like trick shot kind of stuff, but it is a unique skill that he's so much better at than anybody else that you have to see as much as you can of it.

And he also happens to be the best player in the league. He's kind of mastered shooting almost, which I didn't think was possible. Like Bird is still the best kind of in traffic, heat check kind of shooter I had seen up until Curry. But it would always come and go. Curry's almost, it's almost like watching a golfer who's just mastered how to hit a drive down the fairway or something. And you're like, Jesus, again? You're 350 again right down the middle? Right, right, right.

Like when Rory McIlroy gets hot and Tiger 10 years ago, 12 years ago. Well, I think that's the best comparison for what we're watching is when Tiger was in that crazy zone. Yeah, 1999 to 2001 or so. Yeah, so I guess my overall point is this has been his resume has been handed in for him now to be discussed with the all-timers. Well, here's the only thing that's missing from the resume, and I'm glad we were talking about Larry Legend a little bit. The most impressive thing about Larry Legend was how many of those heat moments occurred in the playoffs and with real stakes. And so what we are rooting for, we want to see Steph have real stakes to play for. You know, the streak is pretty good. You know, the stakes keep going up. Somebody tweeted

out that, and I hate to even, hate to even look this far down the road, but you realize that the all-time NBA numbers is 33, and they play Cleveland on Christmas for the 33rd. Well, and that's been one of the benefits of this streak, is they've avoided San Antonio and Cleveland. Yeah, right. Which has been awesome for them. But they don't play.

If they play on Christmas against Cleveland to tie the all-time league win streak. I think they're vulnerable without Barnes. Sure, of course. What's he missing? Two more games? Yeah. Because you could see it in the Utah game, which is very losable. Steph had to make a couple big shots to save it,

and a couple other things happened. But I don't want to say it's a drop-off. It just changes what they are at the end of games. You put Livingston in there, and he's not the same three-point shooter. You put Azealia in there, and now the spacing's not the same. That lineup of death is so fragile. I know. I don't want to look 21 days ahead, but I kind of do.

I kind of want that moment. I think it's going to have to be just a terrible game by him for the street 10. He's just going to have to miss shots for the whole game. I also, if I'm playing them, I'm knocking him down in the first quarter. I'm sorry. I don't like that. I don't want to see him get knocked down, but somebody's got to knock him down. I think he's pretty tough.

I think he's been through it. Teams have tried that. He's been this size his whole career. Who's tried it? I think all, I can't point to any, you know, one piece of evidence about teams that have deliberately gone out and done... Well, DeAndre knocked him down at the end of the Clipper game. But you don't want somebody to be this comfortable, is my point. He's very comfortable.

He goes and punishes you at the free throw line. So it's not a high percentage play. Yeah, this is all true. There's no way to stop them. Really, the only way to stop them is to just get Klay Thompson as high as possible before games, like the night before or something. Just try to take him out with friends. Try to take out the whole Warriors team and just either get them drunk or stoned.

I think it's the only recourse at this point. I don't think they're a party team. No, I don't think they are either. I don't get the impression. I will say, though, it is hilarious that Draymond Green is now the league's alpha dog. I think if all the NBA players are in a club, if all the superstars are in a club and there's some celebrity girl, I think Draymond has the best chance. I think he,

he carries himself like he's the president of the entire country. I've never seen anything like it. I know, but he's not ahead of Duran or Westbrook or LeBron. Come on. I don't know. Draymond. Draymond is hilarious.

I love the cult of personality. They beat the Clippers a couple of weeks ago. I think I told you this. And he, and he just walked down the courtside row and just was like a nightclub entertainer saying goodbye to everybody who had seen him. He has so much swagger. He's like, we almost need to change the name swagger to Draymond. All right, that's enough.

Do you still snore? I do. I think you snore because you don't have a good enough mattress. It could be. My mattress is hard. It's hard? It's too hard for my shoulder. That's probably why you snore.

You're uncomfortable. It could be. Well, our old friend Casper Mattresses is back. Nice! I bring this up because maybe they'll stop your snoring. They make obsessively engineered American-made mattresses at a shockingly fair price. They sent me one. My God, is it comfortable.

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Casper.com slash BS. This is a good product. The mattress just shows up at your house. You don't know what it is. You think they mailed you a five-yearold kid, and this mattress pops out of it. It's amazing. I recommend the Casper mattress. All right.

I might have to investigate this one. All right. NFL. Yeah. NFL. You need to clean up after the career conversation? You want to have a cigarette or something? I was okay with that.

I held it under control. Okay. We're just going to get to the games that we picked. And I urge America to go against me because until the playoffs, it's just I'm snake bit this year and I'm fine with it. You have those years where you're just going to get your ass kicked. I'm barely 500 miles south. You have Miami and Baltimore.

Baltimore getting three and a half in Miami. The Dan Campbell era is in a rocky moment here. The Ravens have no skill position players left at all, and they're only getting three and a half points in Miami. Who do you like? I like Baltimore. I'm not sure why it is that Baltimore is getting an extra point above the standard two and a half home-half home field advantage with Miami.

It feels like a free extra point. These two teams, to me, seem to be entirely even. I don't know why it is that Miami just fired their offensive coordinator, but the instability and organizational chaos continues there. And Ryan Tannehill, to his credit, is a scintillating 6-9 against the spread in December, which I like very much. And the Ravens are 5-0 against the spread in this series over their last five meetings. That's a nice little nugget.

I like what feels like to me an extra free point above the standard two and a half. I love the Ravens as well. I did not make them one of my picks because they don't have a single person that anyone would start in their fantasy team this week. I'm positive that I can't name their starting wide receivers right now. By the way, I have Aaron Rodgers on my West Coast fantasy team, which is the one that I have the most at stake in. Highest priced one, all that stuff. Yes.

The Hail Mary was 10.1 points. Oh, good one. Thank you, Aaron Rodgers. And thank you, Richard Rodgers. Richard Rodgers. The Rodgers combo. Richard Rodgers. Richard Rodgers is one of the more ridiculous athlete names we've had in a while.

He had a great game, too. He did. He's good. He catches like 170 yards, plus the spectacular. That had in a while. He had a great game, too. He did. He's good. He catches like 170 yards plus a spectacular. That catch really was spectacular. It was really great. My favorite Hail Mary ever, other than the Doug Flutie one, obviously, was the one to Billy White Shoes Johnson where he caught it at the four-yard line

and then he had to make moves to get in the end zone. Do you remember that? They used to show that at the beginning of games. I do remember it. Caught it at the four, and he had to juke two guys to get in the end zone. That was my favorite Hail Mary. My first of my five is Minnesota is at home laying only a point to the Seahawks. And I believe in this Minnesota team.

I do not believe in the Seattle team. And I think that line is two points too low. Oh. I think it should be Minnesota by three. I am in the mode now where I'm not even, all I'm doing is looking at lines and if I feel like I'm getting a deal with the line, I'm just taking the team.

I'm not even putting any other factors into it, which is how I've always had success in the past. So I'm going back to the basics. I think that line should be three. It's one. I'm taking the team. I'm not even putting any other factors into it, which is how I've always had success in the past, so I'm going back to the basics. I think that line should be three. It's one. I'm taking the Vikings. So you're not convinced after the second half performance that Seattle put on last week that they've turned

the proverbial corner. We've been waiting for Seattle to turn it on like they've done the two previous seasons the second half of that pittsburgh game didn't convince you last week no because um i thought pittsburgh was going to win the game mike tomlin got a little wonky and rothlisberger went out at the worst possible time but the 80 yard touchdown to baldwin like the game was pretty much over at that point i didn't think they were going to win anyway,

but the tackling was awful. Seattle's scoring a little more than I thought, but it seems like it's just still too easy to throw on them. If you just don't throw at Sherman, you throw it against everybody else they have, you're going to move the ball. In this case, Minnesota's going to run

the ball on them, and I think they're going to be able to run the ball on them. Okay. I'm not arguing. Somebody pointed out, maybe. In this case, Minnesota's going to run the ball on them, and I think they're going to be able to run the ball on them. Okay. I'm not arguing. Somebody pointed out, maybe I read it on Football Outsiders, somebody compared Teddy Bridgewater to Chad Pennington, and I liked it. Like a mobile Chad Pennington. He has not enough zip on the ball ever, so you always feel uncomfortable, but the ball always gets to where it needs to go most of the time,

and then you can move around. But I like the – Chad Pennington had some good moments but i think he's you know yeah you know how much i love cross-racial uh quarterback comparisons really my all-time wheelhouse uh all right you have tampa atlanta the bucks are getting one point at home against the falcons i Stink. That just changed. So when I sent you this last night, Atlanta was getting one. It's not going to change my selection. I'm taking Atlanta. I'm holding my nose and taking Atlanta. This is really since the Atlanta-D.C. Gruden's game, I've been out on Atlanta. I thought Atlanta was sort of grossly over.

I don't know what the word is. People were giving them way too much credit. They were not nearly as good as what they were producing on the field. And I've had a nice run going against them. I think we've finally reached the point where they've hit the bottom. There is a nice stat out there. They're 3-0 against the spread as a dog, 2-0 against the spread on the road, three straight.

There's a nice stat. NFL road dogs off of three straight, straight-up favorite losses. Our 6-0 against the spread since 2002, like that one. Atlanta playing for its playoff life. So is Tampa. But, you know, essentially what amounts to a pick-em with the one on one side or the other, whether it was Atlanta or Tampa getting or giving, it amounts to a pick-em. Who do you think is going to win?

I think Atlanta's going to win. The Red Hot Cousin Sal was also anointed the Falcons as the winner. Oh, that makes me feel good then. Yeah, I think I like the pick because, you know, you look at it and you say, I'm going to take Tampa, Atlanta sucks. And then you think like, well, all right, what's Tampa got going on? Well, they lost to your skins in week seven at the buzzer, basically. They lost by one. They lost to the Falcons in OT. They lost handaway to the Giants.

They beat the Cowboys 10-6 in the last non-Tony Romo week. They killed the Eagles, who are a train wreck. And then they lost by 13 to Matt Hasselbeck. So it's not even are we sure they're good. It's like, are we sure they're mediocre? Right. And meanwhile, Atlanta, you know, they beat the Bucs, lost a stupid game to the Niners.

They lost by three to Hasselbeck. That was a game they easily could have won. And then they lost to a really good Minnesota team last week. Atlanta's got a self-defeating streak that if they just can cut down on the untimely turnovers. Every turnover is untimely, but Matty Ice has been really good at throwing a pick at the terrible worst possible time this season. I have them as two and two with seven games that could have gone either or. Yeah, right.

So they're middle of the pack, but I'm with you. If there's going to be a week they turn it around, it's this week. All right, so next one. This is, I think, mine only. Philly and the Pats. Pats are laying nine and a half. It's just too high. It's a stupid line.

They don't have any skill position players. You're going to take Gronk out. You're going to take out Amendola is allegedly going to play. I don't think they're going to play him this week. I would be surprised. No Edelman. The Deion Lewis to James White drop-off has been remarkably steep. Sizable.

And it's just not the way that offense is right now, especially coming off that Sunday night game. It's just not a team that's going to win 45-10, I don't think. I'm worried about all of these games. And even if they get up 14, then you have the cheap touchdown at the end, which they've given up a million times. And you also have Sanchez, who's a borderline train

wreck, but has had success over the years against the Pats, especially in New England. Yeah. So there's a bunch of countervailing, counterbalancing kind of considerations here. The Pats have an awesome against the spread record after a loss. Brady in particular.

They're great at home. Yeah, and they're great at home. And Philly is an absolute train wreck. They're terrible. I mean, you wonder. Teams that get on these stink stretches, like Philly. Detroit was in one a little while ago. Miami had a nice stink stretch.

But you say at some point they're going to turn it around. San Diego just got out of theirs by playing the awful, the inconsistent Jaguars. But the thing that you say is just nine and a half feels like too much. It feels like the line, with the amount of injuries the Pats have had, it feels like the line should be seven. And if they're going to win this game by more than that, it's going to be because of their defense, not their offense.

Right, yes. And also, I don't know what kind of crowd I'm getting. I'm getting a crowd that's kind of like, oh, crap, there's no Gronk, there's no anybody, this game's going to be a grind, just let's get through this without Brady getting hurt. And then you also have they're at Houston next week. That's a pretty tough game in the way Houston's defense is playing. Yeah, they came around, that defense.

So I think just as somebody who's obviously lives and dies with this, is my football team, they have a habit sometimes of just looking at a week and going, let's just get through this week. And it feels like this is one of those games for them. So I like the points. I think that the line's too high. I think they're going to win.

But I think between the cheap touchdown possibility and just struggling early possibility. I mean, God damn. Like when Scott Chandler, the wheel route to Scott Chandler is like your number one play. I'm worried. It's understandable. All right, the last three we agree on.

Oh, good. Chiefs minus three at Oakland. Who do you have? I have the Chiefs. Me too. They're just really, they're peaking. Yeah. Since October, they're a top five team.

I think they're number one in DVOA since October 1st or something. I wouldn't touch this if it was above three, but three just feels like a great number. They're just better. I loved it earlier in the week. It was two and a half earlier in the week. Yeah, they're just better. They're better. I mean, if there's ever, if we've learned anything about Andy Reid over the years,

it's that he sets us up for this specific type of game, almost like a conspiracy, where he's carefully orchestrated the last few weeks leading up to us taking KC minus three and then doing Andy Reid things, then lose by two. So I would not bet on this game, but I'm making it one of my five because I don't trust Andy Reid ever. He actually is surprising. I saw this in my research.

A great road coach against the spread 58 and 42. And weirdly, Oakland, over the last 12 years, are a crappy home team against the spread. 35 and 62. One interesting thing about oakland now this is a playoff game for them they're five and six it's very conceivable that nine and seven could make a wild card casey is one of the teams they need to beat for that wild card and they play casey twice so if they have any chance of making the playoffs, they have to beat KC one of those two times. That's right.

I would say this is a borderline kitchen sink game for them. So I like the Chiefs, but I wouldn't bet on it. Next one, Denver, San Diego. We've seen different lines for this. We're going to say Denver minus four. Okay. At San Diego, because it seems like it's somewhere between four and a half, three and a half, four, five. Yeah, I saw three and a half when I was looking last night.

Yeah. I like Osweiler. I like Osweiler. I think he's good. I think Denver knows who they are now. They're a team that is going to run the ball side to side and throw some screens every once in a while, take a deep shot. He's a much better quarterback for the team they have with Manning. I was much more scared of him than I would have been of Manning watching them play the Pats. And I wouldn't be surprised if they went on a legit run here. This is probably my favorite

pick. Also, they're in San Diego, the worst home field advantage in the league. San Diego played well last week, so they're feeling a little good about themselves, and they're not a good team. This line, to me, I was shocked. I thought this line was going to be Denver by seven, so I'm grabbing the points. We're in violent agreement. The line that makes sense is Denver by seven, and every kind of power ranking that you look at, the Vegas power ranking indices that you

can can examine uh denver on a neutral field is is about nine points better than san diego well i think we've established beyond a reasonable doubt that san diego as a at home is basically a neutral field yeah so you know if you want to give any points at all you could say denver as a seven to eight point favorite um makes sense san die at home now is one, four and one against the spread. And the one came in the first game of the season. They are terrible at home. Now, counterbalance warning sign, big public action on Denver this week. Everybody's pounding Denver and surprising Phil Rivers. Excellent in December, 31 and nine straight up over, excellent in December. 31-9 straight up over his career in December.

He likes December because he has to shop online late at night for his kids, for the presents for his eight different kids. He does have a lot of kids. Yeah, football becomes a place he can go to and enjoy. It's his peaceful place. It's not Christmas shopping. He's not distracted but with all the presents and everything. Is it disrespectful to sing?

This is the first time I've taken Denver in a while. I might have to sing. In Brock Osweiler's voice? Is it disrespectful to Brock? I think it's disrespectful. But you can sing anyway if you want. I enjoyed it. And in fact, it was very timely.

Last week they had, Turkey leg, you taste so good. I thought it. And in fact, it was very timely. Last week they had, Turkey leg, you taste so good. I thought it was brilliant. And turkey leg did taste good. I had two turkey legs on Thanksgiving. All right, last one. Giants-Jets. The Battle of New Jersey.

The Battle for Chris Christie. The Jets New Jersey. The Battle for Chris Christie. The Jets are giving two points. Yeah. Who do you like? The Giants. Me too. I hate when we agree on everything. Well, look, you know, these were the games that popped out.

The one I came close to getting on, but then it was just too much sharp. It was just too cute by a half for me was New Orleans. Yeah. Getting seven at home against Carolina, which it's been, I think, 20 years since the Saints have been getting seven at home. Yeah. But I'm done going against Carolina. I'm done considering anything on New Orleans. Screw that team.

That's exactly the way I feel. So, look, we're both on the Giants. So what's your reason? Can I tell you mine? Go ahead. Eli zigs when everyone thinks he's zagging, and Eli zags when everyone thinks he's zigging. So they sucked last week, and now everyone's like,

oh, the Giants, it's over. Four offensive linemen are out. There's no way. And this is, like, exactly when he throws five touchdowns. So they didn't suck in the fourth quarter either, by the way. It was vintage Eli, and if he'd had another three minutes, the Giants were going to win that game. I mean, it was very unnerving sitting there watching that Sunday afternoon

because that was a furious comeback. And then the other piece of that is the Giants lost to the offensive linemen, but the Jets aren't going to have Revis, Cromartie's out. They had to activate Dean Milner, the disastrous top-10 quarterback pick. He might actually be playing. So I think all this stuff cancels it out, and it just looks like a classic Eli game. To me, it's a pick-em.

These two teams are even. The difference for me is Eli in December, 32-20 against the spread. Ryan Fitzpatrick, not as good. 11-16 and 3 against the spread. And I love the thought of the Giants winning this game. And then your team, the Washington professional football team, on Monday night with the seemingly cross it off, they have this, Dallas sucks, it's over,

and you're home, and everybody will be excited, and oh, we're going to kill Dallas, and then it's like you're down 10 to nothing in the second quarter because Kirk Cousins threw a 78-yard pick six. I'm so nervous. And people are freaking out. Oh, my God, maybe we are going to be in first place in two hours. I can feel it. I people are freaking out. Oh, my God, maybe we are going to be in first place in two hours. I can feel it.

I can feel all of it. I mean, the line I saw was Dallas getting four and a half. I mean, that's just crazy talk. Has anybody watched the D.C. Grudens this season? Yeah, but Dallas has Castle? Yeah, but they've been in the games. They're not going out and just getting blown out. Romo was responsible for the Thanksgiving blowout.

That's their most recent just plain old beginning to end ass whipping, and that was all Romo. All right, we have to go. Hey, how about it? Thanks again to today's sponsor, Casper Mattresses. Obsessively engineered, American-made mattresses at a shockingly fair price. Get 50 bucks toward any mattress purchase by going to casper.com slash BS and using code BS. You spend half, about a third of your life sleeping. Maybe in some cases, a half of your

life sleeping. Let's make sure you're doing it on a good mattress. Casper.com slash BS. Thanks to Dunkin' Donuts. Very near to Joe House's heart and my heart. Thank you, Dunkin' Donuts. Oh, thank you, Dunkin' Donuts. They just launched their DD Perks loyalty program. It's how Dunkin' Donuts shows its appreciation to its loyal fans because that's how they roll. Members earn points toward free beverage rewards.

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that just launched a new platform to buy and sell event tickets. Learn more at SeatGeek.com slash BS. Thanks to HBO, which gave me a show that's launching next spring. Thanks to Joe House.com slash BS. Thanks to HBO, which gave me a show that's launching next spring. Thanks to Joe House. This was fun. Do you need to clean up after the curry conversation or are you fine?

Thank you. No, no. I won't describe what level of enthusiasm I experienced. It was high enthusiasm, but not, you know, extraordinary. I have something. Maybe this will finish you off. My mom came over on Tuesday night and she made homemade chicken parm. Oh, oh!

It was so good that all of us ate. And I don't do this anymore, but I did this time where it's like, you know you're done eating, but you're like, I'll have a half a chicken more. And I know I'm going to be feeling it in two hours. And my stomach can't accommodate this extra food. But it's so good, I don't want to stop eating it. Chicken parm, you taste so good. Enjoy the weekend.

Play us out, Tupac. We about this bitch. Anytime y'all want to see me again, rewind this track right here. Close your eyes. And picture me rollin'.