The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 39: Week 15 NFL w/ Cousin Sal

Episode Date: December 14, 2015

HBO's Bill Simmons goes over the NFL playoff picture and Week 15 lines with Cousin Sal. Topics include: Pats-Texans recap, AFC playoffs(4:00 mark), NFC playoffs (9:00), Panthers' credibility (11:00), Mike Tomlin's Blackjack coaching style (17:00), unwatchable games (22:00), semi-unwatchable games (26:00), Jets-Cowboys (30:00), Teddy Bridgewater's matchup w/ Bears (37:00), Alex Smith's resurgence(45:00), Eagles' craziness (50:00), watchable games (53:00), Steelers-Broncos (1:00:00) and Peyton Manning's suspicious sideline behavior (1:02:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Yeah. Clear enough for you. Very cold in Southern California these days, Sal. Yeah. Very cold. I don't like it. Why are you doing that with a microphone? What do you mean? What's wrong with it?

You look all contorted. Oh, you got a computer? I get what you're doing. Can I tell you, I'm actually trying to block my view of you, because I don't know if I can stare at this mustache for an hour. I know. I had a beard for six weeks. I had a shaving accident with the beard and I just kept the mustache so I could look like

a Chicago cop for a couple of days. I thought you would enjoy it. I'm going to shave it probably in about two hours. You may have to shave it between our analysis of the early and late games. So, yeah, maybe it's a sponsored read. So, we bet on Denver and the Pats. Moneyline parlay, and the Raiders started

taking it to Denver, and I immediately just rooted against my bet and rooted for the Raiders. Yeah, the Pats are the one seed right now. Andy Dalton broke his thumb. Brock Osweiler's a mess. It was a fun eight days. The conference has turned pretending like the patriots weren't going to be the number one it's back we're back baby i hate this i hate this

so last monday was so much better oh my god i'm so happy james white looks good you know keishon martin whoever the hell that is he was doing stuff we're feeling good the only thing i don't feel good about is that how did we not pound the Patriots after the Broncos lost, after the Bengals lost their quarterback. And the Gronk news. And the Gronk news. You had to know that the Patriots, first of all, I don't know why we thought the Texans would even come close to scoring with them anyway,

but the Patriots were such an easy bet. Yeah, but they didn't pressure Brady early. That's what you have to do. You have to pressure him. I know Watt has the broken hand or thumb or Yeah, but they didn't pressure Brady early. That's what you have to do. You have to pressure him. I know Watt has the broken hand or thumb or whatever, but they didn't pressure him. And the other thing they didn't do, you have to, have to win that last two minutes of the first half.

You have to keep that even. That third and three play at Hoyer, I don't know who he threw to, but it was incomplete. It was a bad throw. It was behind the receiver. And that was it. And then New England comes down and scores seven. The game is over.

Just over. We put Malcolm Butler on Nate Washington and then did the double team of Hopkins, basically. Yeah. And whenever they do that, I'm always like, oh, no. But it's like, I should know not to doubt Belichick. That's smart. He's just like, yeah, we're going to take Hopkins out. We're double teaming him.

And now all we need is Malcolm Butler to shut down Nate Washington. I think it helped that J.J. Watt only had one hand. But this is a very good front seven we have right now, the Pats. They've done a nice job. And guys that were, you know, not, you know, Chandler Jones and Easley were draft picks, but Jabal Sheard and Ayers, those are both like, you know, Chandler Jones and Easley were draft picks, but Jabal Sheard and Ayers, those are both like these little sneaky Belichick trades that he makes where he sees somebody in July in some scrimmage,

and it's like, oh, write that guy's name down. We're going to steal him nine months from now. Great play by Sheard stripping the ball. Yeah. They're just so much better. They just seem like they wanted it more. They just have better athletes now. Keyshawn Martin, you must like him right plays hard looks pretty shifty yeah yeah uh i like that it

would be nice if our special teams didn't have a turnover every game but i think i'm not i'm not gonna nitpick so um playoff race yeah we did this last week Just very quickly Right now the bye teams Are the Pats and the Bengals But the Bengals have Dalton out For at least the regular season That's what it's looking like Yep They're looking like a three seed

The Bengals So they played Denver In week 16 Monday night At home Denver's not exactly A sure thing these days But

Denver has at Pittsburgh. There's some fascinating things in play right now. Denver is at Pittsburgh this week, home for Cincy, I'm sorry, week 16, home for San Diego. But if Denver loses two of those, and Casey runs the table at Baltimore, home for Cleveland, home for Oakland, That seems doable. Are we still in our AFC West bet? They would both be 11-5, and they split the season series. Oh, interesting.

So I don't know if Denver has clicked. Can you find out if Denver clicks the AFC West? It's division at that. I don't think they have clinched the AFC West. Yeah, I don't think they have either. No, because they can't lose all three. But I think they win two of those games. You think Denver wins?

After what you watched yesterday, you think Denver beats? They win in Pittsburgh, and they beat Cincy at home. Well, first of all, I don't know what the hell happened yesterday. Denver was up 12-0 at half, and the Raiders had 12 total yards. I was reading Football Outsiders today. They said they had one of the lowest first half DVOAs in history or something. And then they scored four times the Raiders, and it was still 15-12. Is that right? Moving the ball. Yeah, they had one of the lowest first half DVOAs in history or something. And then they scored four times the Raiders and it was still 15-12. Is that right?

Moving the ball. Yeah, they had drives. And Del Rio goes for a two-point conversion. I had a heart attack. Up 15-12. Yeah. It was 12-6. Yeah.

It was 12-9. Makes it 15-12. And he goes for two. But we didn't know the long snapper was hurt. Right. Yeah, that's what happened. All right. So the long snapper was hurt. They didn't have time to what happened. All right. So the long snapper was hurt.

They didn't have time to get the other guy ready. And they were just like, let's just go for the two point. But in the moment, I had a heart attack. I was like, what are they doing? I've never seen this in my life. Yeah. And then it just seemed the Denver last second awful ugly drive of like a tip pass and Emmanuel Sanders or whoever just going. You could just feel it coming, and it never came.

Yeah. So I'm trying to figure out which way you're having a heart attack. This is when you were betting against our bet? You're rooting against our bet? Yeah, I was rooting for Oakland. When they went up 15-12, I dumped the bet. I was like, that's fine. I'll pay for the Broncos to lose this.

All I'm saying is it's not Osweiler's fault. There were a lot of drop passes all around the league yesterday, but the Vernon Davis drop is for the ages. What about Thomas? Thomas had another terrible one. Every week he's dropping passes. It's incredible. He had two monster third down drops with Thomas and Davis,

who drops everything anyway. The only thing I really blame Osweiler for is he was awful on the last drive. Yeah. He really just looked like the nerves got to him. But we should give Khalil Mack some credit. Yeah, they couldn't block him. After W Like, he really just looked like the nerves got to him. But we should give Khalil Mack some credit. Yeah, they couldn't block him. After Watt, he's the best in the league. He really is.

That was the Mack truck game. So in, like, 1991, there would be a Mack truck poster coming out next week. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah. Return of the Mack. Does Mack truck, do they do ads? I don't know. Why wouldn't they have Khalil Mack?

Why don't you read them an ad? Free ad. Give them a free ad. This is brought to you by Mack Truck and Khalil Mack. Here's what's happened with Denver since Osweiler started. 170 yards rushing, 179, 134, and 34. They still have to do something on the ground. They lost their top two backs for yesterday.

Hellman, yeah. There was no Anderson though, right? No, but they've been able to figure out that too. Always one of them's hurt. It is funny that teams can lose their first two running backs and then some other guy comes in there. Houston had some guy yesterday, Grimes. Collins was like, I got to tell you, I like this Grimes.

I like him. But it's like the fourth, fifth string running backs on these teams are all decent. You get the sense that, like, I was excited for the Texans-Patriots. And the first two plays were handoffs to Polk, who when you watch freaking hard knocks, you're like, that guy's not going to be on the team like oh my god this is it really if hopkins is not open this is what the game's gonna be i'm really close to turn to like really turning on collinsworth really why yeah there's a there's an anti-pats sentiment i'm just getting and i'm not alone i'm not alone go ask the past fans i think everyone thinks he roots against their team

because i feel the same way with the i feel like he's genuinely rooting ask the Pats fans. I think everyone thinks he roots against their team, because I feel the same way. I feel like he's genuinely rooting against the Pats. He won't give us enough credit, and it bothers me. It's totally irrational. That's normal. I still can't get out of last year with, like, we're driving to win the Super Bowl, and they bring up the flake gate again. Yeah. And he's like, I looked at Tom, and I said, Tom, look me in the eyes.

I'm like, can we try to win the Super Bowl? Is that all right, Chris? All right. So a couple other things. NFC playoffs. The bye teams are done. It's Carolina and Arizona are getting by. Bye teams are done and the wild cards are done.

I mean, it's got to be Minnesota and Seattle, right? Has to be. The wild cards are basically done. I'm not positive I trust Minnesota. Yeah, but who's chasing them? Six and seven. Home for Chicago? Would you bet your life Minnesota's going to beat Chicago this weekend?

No, but they can win one more game and they're alright. I'm just not ready to put them in yet. They go home for Chicago, home for the Giants at Green Bay. So let's say they lose that Chicago game. Now you have Eli coming to town. I don't feel good about that if I'm Minnesota. And then at Green Bay to finish.

Yeah, but look at the 7 and 8 seeds. Who's going to catch them? Tampa Bay, Atlanta? Tampa's got at the Rams on Thursday, home for Chicago at Carolina, which is Carolina's going to throw that game away probably. They're bad news, though. Isn't there another NFC team that's 6-7? Not really.

No. Nothing? Eagles, Falcons. Oh, yeah, all those teams. Well, the Falcons have waved the red flag. I don't remember. Can you imagine if two NFC East teams made the playoffs? After all we've made fun of them?

That would be great, and neither of them were mine. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we should put out a 40 for the 2015 Cowboys. Thank you. Finally, I don't have to now look at the schedule and pretend with you that there's going to be a problem. When it was 14-7, you were like, here we go. I was excited.

Come on. Before Castle threw that pick at the goal line. I thought there was a chance. The Packers have had the most dissatisfying season of any team that's like three or four games over 500 that is possible. Three or four. Yeah, they're 9-4. They're 9-4. They're a weird 9-4.

You just can't feel good if you're a Packer fan about 9-4. No. They're getting praised for how much running they did yesterday, but they just kind of pulled that out. Fat Eddie and Starks. I'm not buying it just yet, but they're in a good spot. They're in a good spot.

I have a couple questions for you. Yeah. If you're Carolina, do you go for 16-0? Yeah, always. I think so, too. They're having fun. Isn't that what it's about? It looks like they're having a lot of fun.

Having a lot of fun. A lot of fun on that team. I'm trying to think when they get credit. If they beat Seattle in the playoffs and then Arizona, will people finally give them credit and they still haven't lost? Even yesterday, they were only seven and a half point favorites. And it just seems like they're just killing these teams. Just like they're not, no one likes that. They're not sexy. Like Cam Newton celebrating a lot, but Tedkin Jr. is someone everyone's had on their

fantasy team three times this year. I want. I'm glad you brought that up. I want you to make a promise to me. What is it? Next year, 2016, will be the year that you don't do any fantasy homework. No homework? No homework. Because it doesn't matter. No August.

Just don't. Just show up for the draft of the magazine and just go. Because yesterday proved once and for all that this is the dumbest thing any of us waste time on on the earth. Alan Hearns, Blake Bortles, Doug Baldwin, who was available on the waiver wire for five weeks. Who else? There was a running back. What's his face?

Ted Ginn. Two catches for 100. Ted Ginn had 24 points by halftime. Freaking Thomas Rawls, although he got hurt this week. He's hurt now. It's the stupidest. It's really dumb. Let's all stop. It's the stupidest. It's really dumb. Let's all stop.

Let's all stop with fantasy. Who's the running back that did well? The Blake Bortles thing is infuriating. He's the best fantasy quarterback in the league now. Speaking of fantasy, it's looking like, well, let me ask you this. I'm in the playoffs. I'm playing Jon Hamm's team. Would you rather be up 17.5 points or be the team with Lamar Miller?

You're down 17 and a half with Lamar Miller? That's one of my choices? Yeah, I'm not saying who's who. I'm not saying who's who. Who are they playing? The Giants? Yeah. I'd rather be up 17 and a half.

All right, that's me. I'm up 17 and a half. Now, if I hold on, you play Brad next week in the semifinal. I play Mad Brad? Wouldn't that be fun? We might have to have him on. That would be great. Brad tried to reverse jinx my team.

He sent me an email congratulating me for making the playoffs before I made it. I did not appreciate it. Really? That's not good. You should know better than that. That was cool. Listen, I'm very proud of my guys. We lost Deion Lewis.

We lost Julian Edelman. My fake team has persevered. I forgot who you have. You had the most points, too, in the league. By five. Yeah, losing guys every week. And my running back started LeGarrette Blount, who hurt his hip, but it wasn't from a football injury.

It's just because he's old. It's like when your uncle hurts his hip. It was one of those injuries. I have Melvin Gordon, who I spent like $28 on, who just week after week is awful. I don't know if he's awful or their line's awful, but he's horrendous. I have Brandon Bolden. I have the two Chiefs guys who now just split time and you don't know which one to start.

So I have both of those guys. I'm screwed. And Rodgers. I don't know if you're screwed, but you did get the most points in the league, which is a substantial amount of loot. And you got it by four and a half or five points. And the guy you beat, our friend Craig Powell, he's throwing darts at your face on a board

because that Aaron Rodgers, Hail Mary, basically died. That's what won it for me? Yeah, that's what won it. I mean, you could go buy anything, but yeah. You know what I don't like about our league, and maybe other people's leagues are like this so they can identify? Week 14, the people that have clinched whatever, they don't compete. I can't even look at my team,

but yet the people fighting to get to the next round are playing each other. So we basically had two matchups. You don't like that there are buys? I think we should come up with something next year where it's like the people that have clinched playoff seeds and don't have to play in week 14 should play each other in some sort of round robin for $200. Highest point for that week. Oh, interest. Yeah.

Let's bring that up next year. Well, you just brought it up. I just felt like I was left out this week. Okay. I'll vote against that. But yeah, bring it up. Oh, no assists. Thanks to Football Outsiders for this one, too.

Brandon Browner with 22 penalties with three games to go. Is that what it is? 22. He's averaging almost two penalties a game. He doesn't know how to play football. Yeah, the Pats couldn't get rid of him fast enough. I still can't believe he didn't have a 55-yard pass interference in the second half of the Super Bowl.

It was the biggest upset of that game, other than the fact that we won on an interception at the one-yard line. 22. When are the Bills going to pick him up? Oh, that's true. They had 15 yesterday. Just tell them to have one each half. Yeah.

I think Rex is on TV within—might even be in September. Really? His teams are just out of control Yeah, they are a little money And also, they're good on defense Their defense shouldn't be as bad as it is The whole team should be a little better I think they make some noise

Don't they play the Jets the last game of the year? They're going to knock the Jets out Rex is going to knock the Jets out That's going to be the fun game Here's who knocked the Jets out My friend Jim Grady. What did he do? He sent you an email?

Long time Jets fan. We were on a text with Sean Fantasy, another Jets fan. Sean Fantasy is the right kind of Jets fan. He just always expects the worst at all times, which is what I want for my Jets fans. Last, like, whatever, Grady is talking about how he's he feels good about fitzpatrick so then yesterday as they're winning jim grady my friend since like 1985 sends me ask your buddy the jets fan what he thinks of fitzpatrick now he mocked me when i said last

year i'd be happy with him exclamation point 11 a.m. yesterday. That's the moment when the Jets season died. When Jim Grady bragged about Ryan Fitzpatrick. It's over. Jets fans. I might have to create a Twitter account for Jim Grady just so the Jets fans can go after him. Doesn't he know the rule of Jets fans is to never feel good or be happy, ever?

I don't think they're making it. I don't think they're making it. I know we've looked at this. So if Pittsburgh wins out... We've talked about it. Pittsburgh know we've looked at this. So if Pittsburgh wins out. We've talked about it. Pittsburgh, we've talked about them, the Jets' playoff chances. If Pittsburgh wins out, they're in. And that six seed, not only is Pittsburgh the team you don't want to play,

but that six seed is desirable now. If you want to go to Cincy and play McCarron, which is how I think it's going to shake out, and then maybe Denver, I think that's the way to go. So Catherine Webb, is she still with mccarran she is right yeah yeah so what like what's her week like this is her pr team is but she's rehired her pr team yeah yeah maybe rehired her agent she's back what do we do right should i do should i have a kardashian sitting with me this week in the stands what happens i think whatever it, we have to discontinue the lawsuit against Brent Musburger.

And she has to have everything. I think she's just marveling over her husband's chest tattoo. Did you see that? AJ McCarron's tattoo? Oh, it's beautiful. So nice. It looks so great.

Supposedly Affleck got a back tattoo. I saw that. I didn't know if that was true or not. So you have Jets at Dallas next week, home for New England week 16, and then at Buffalo. And you think week 17 at Buffalo is when Fitzpatrick throws like six picks. Well, they'll probably lose two of those games, right?

Not next week. Don't worry about that. But they lose. I think, first of all, Pittsburgh doesn't have a loss on their schedule, I don't think. Are we sure? I think they beat Denver at Baltimore, at Cleveland. This is a cousin of are we sure they're good.

Mm-hmm. How many games in a row has Pittsburgh won now? Two in a row. Are we sure Mike Tomlin can rip off five straight wins without doing something Mike Tomlin-y? Which one gets you nervous? They're going to be favorite in all three games. They're home against Denver at Baltimore, at Cleveland.

Well, at Baltimore. Baltimore's defense is just secondary. Baltimore's just got to go for the first pick. Yeah, they got to go for the first pick or the second pick. It's just bad matchup. It's like almost, I think, the worst secondary in the league against Pittsburgh. And then at Cleveland? Are you kidding me?

They're going to win. I think this Denver game makes me nervous. Really? Yeah. Everybody's Brock Osweiler. He's terrible. What do they do? Is Manning going to be ready? And then all of a sudden, Denver comes out. Wait until we get to the line. It's a weird line. makes me nervous really pittsburgh yeah everybody's brock osweiler he's terrible what do they do is

man he gonna be ready and then all of a sudden denver wait till we get to the line it's a weird line so tomlin i used the analogy a couple weeks ago that he's the guy on the blackjack table oh yeah who's just totally erratic he hits on 17 nobody he's got some girl behind him he's he's he's drinking next play he's got uh he's got the 10 against the dealer six he stays like you just you can't get a feel and eventually you get up and leave the table that's how he coaches he would hit on 18 in blackjack i don't think he can get through these three games without doing something crazy i love i would love for mike tom this to get spun out of proportion mike Mike Tomlin to sue you for slanders. Bill Simmons

calling me a drunk, an alcoholic gambler. I'm not calling him anything. I'm saying watching him football coach gives me the same feeling I get when I'm at the blackjack table with that specific person where I'm like, I don't know what he's doing. I'm prepared for anything right now. I don't

like this. Yeah, I just think it's... Waitress, get me another know what he's doing. I'm prepared for anything right now. I don't like this. Yeah. I just think it's... Waitress, get me another drink. It's laid out too easily for them, I think. You might be right. And then the Jets would be out if they won all three. You know, my friend Brian Curtis, who used to write for Grantland, we always send each other back when we hear sideline reporters ask just terrible questions.

Michelle Tafoya, who's usually pretty good, gives this one to one of the Pats last night in the postgame. To stop that two-game losing streak, that was a big thing for you guys, right? It's got to end. Nope. No, actually, Michelle, not a big thing at all. It wasn't.

It's just got to end. The dumb questions have to end. Right. I think Michelle Tafoya, I think it was our 200th game, sideline game I read today. Yeah. That's it. I was like, I'm going to go out with a bang. I have to celebrate this milestone.

Michelle, how big was that 200th game for you? It was big, right? It was big, right? Sal, how big is week 15 for you? Is it big? Well, I have to think about it. How big is your fantasy matchup tonight, Sal? 79 points from Lamar Miller. Is that big for you? I have to think about it. How big is your fantasy matchup tonight, Sal? 79 points from Lamar Miller.

Is that big for you? Pretty big, yeah. Okay. Let's do some lines. Let's do it. We tried to structure this a little differently this week. Yeah. Because I asked Sean Fantasy for notes, not to give him two name drops on the same thing.

Yeah, really, Fantasy? Mind your own business. So I was like, if you could fix one thing about me and Sal, you know, I've been around for eight years. We're like a married couple at this point. Not a bad idea maybe to bring in some sort of fun new wrinkle into the marriage. Like, what would you do? And Fantasy said, I would change a little bit

how you structure the game so it's a little easier for me to follow. You guys just do all the games and you go on tangents and that's great. But a tiny bit more structure would really help, even if you said the biggest game of the week

or whatever. So we're going to try something this week and you guys might hate it. Did he also recommend that mustache? No, he did not recommend it. We're going to build from the worst games of the week to the best.

I'm okay with this. We're going to build some suspense. I think this will be fun. We'll try it. Yeah, I'm with you. Alright, so go ahead. Alright, so in the unwatchable category... We have two unwatchable games this week. Two of them.

Chargers-Dolphins. This is completely meaningless. Nothing at stake. I have the Chargers by one and I don't want to watch one minute of this game. Chargers are home. I added a pick-em and it is Chargers by one. You get it.

You're on the board. The new structure is helping me. Fantasy, yeah. You need all the help. You're killing me this year. So now we have a Monday night game as the other unwatchable. Right, right, right. Let me see.

Any doubt that the NFL tried to screw over ESPN as punishment for all the criticism over the last year and a half? With these games? Yeah. I mean, it's week 15, Saints-Lions. But they all come down. Who thought that was going to be a good game? All come down in the last two minutes.

I know, you're right. Even that terrible Redskins-Cowboys game was good at the end. Guess what? In April, we knew Saints-Lions was not going to be a good game. No, you knew it was bad. All right. Here you go, though, ESPN. Take this one.

I had minus four. Saints at home, minus four. Saints, though, ESPN. Take this one. I had minus four. Saints at home, minus four. Saints three and a half. Yeah, you're going to get it. Because it is only Saints by three. Who do you think has been the weirdest and most erratic team this season? Because the Saints are in that conversation. Yeah, they're just not good enough.

They never put a good winning streak together to be erratically good. All of a sudden they just go and they go into Tampa, just beat Tampa last week. Right. Well, I think anyone knows that. They get 52 points. NFC East teams, I think. I don't know. Fired coaches.

Giants, Eagles. Oh, Rams were terrible. I don't know. It's been such a bad year. The Jags are pretty erratic. I think the Jags are pretty erratic. I think the Jags might be the third best team in the AFC. Yeah, they score points. New England 1, Pittsburgh 2, Jags 3.

They're fun to watch. They're fun to watch. This Monday night game, what's sad is someone is going to be knocked out of their fantasy playoffs with a missed Prater email, whatever his first name is. Oh, true. So, fantasy playoffs. We got Breeze, we got Calvin Johnson, a his first name is. Oh, true. So, fantasy playoffs. We got Breeze. We got Calvin Johnson.

A little Matt Stafford. Someone's going to be forced to start Riddick or something stupid. By the way, if you don't want to watch this Monday game, there's other stuff you could be watching. Really? Yeah, I found that. Well, it's not a clever title, and it only streams at Best Buy on the Best Buy TVs.

That's the only place you can watch this one. You have to actually be in the Best Buy. You have to buy a Best Buy TV at Best Buy on the Best Buy TVs. That's the only place you can watch this one. You have to actually be in the Best Buy. You have to buy a Best Buy TV and stream it on the Best Buy TV? No, you have to be in the Best Buy store. You have to be in the Best Buy. You know how they show things that you would never be able to get on your TV? It's an exclusive to Best Buy. Okay.

What is it? It's not a great title. It's called Bail Bonds, and it's Christian Bail and Barry Bonds, and they take steroids and scream at people who try to bail their loved ones out. So it's a shorter show. It's a digital series. Yeah, it's a reality show. Bail Bonds. Yeah, Bail Bonds. I like it. Yeah, not a great title. Do they get

along? Well, sometimes they do but, you know, as much as an crazy actor and baseball player could. You know, I finally started watching Transparent on Amazon. Oh, yeah? The one that always gets the award buzz.

Hank Kingsley is the star of it. I stayed away. I just say I've had trouble committing, but watched the first two. Really good. Not what I expected. That's what I hear, yeah. Yeah. It's very well acted.

Thanks to all the people who forced me to finally watch it. But very well acted. And it's like one of those weird sex shows. There's some weird sex stuff in it. You know what's happening? Just people are naked, ran in. It kept me on my toes. What do you watch? When are you watching it?

Because everything's winding down now. Survivor's winding down for me. I have that 11.30 to 1 o'clock window at night where I'm just looking for stuff. I've watched The Departed 40 times. The Departed's on all the time and I watch it every time. And now we have all the screeners. But so are, so you have TV where you don't have to watch with your wife. See, that's the thing.

I need to just watch these things that I don't have to watch with the old lady. Because she loses interest on a lot of this stuff. No, you got to wait until they fall asleep. That's what it is? Yeah, you got to get it done. Yeah. Because they're going to fall asleep. That's what they do.

The kids have just ruined their brains. About 845, if I could, you got to get it done. Yeah. Because they're going to fall asleep. That's what they do. The kids have just ruined their brains. About 845, if I can stay up that day. 845. Yeah, that would be good. Okay, so now we're in, what zone is this? The semi-watchable, semi-unwatchables. Right.

These are all games I don't want to watch, but they have vague playoff implications in some shape or form. I like it. This one doesn't have any playoff implications, but Tampa Bay at St. Louis. Oh, you think Tampa Bay still has a shot. Alright. No, I really don't, but I don't think we can cross in, Rafi. I got the Bucs minus one. I hate the Rams.

Bucs on the road minus one. I said St. Louis minus three and you're going to be closer. It's a pick-em. And by the way, if there was ever a case you can make for Roger Good goodell fixing things it's it's they're building this like the rookie of the year matchup todd girley hadn't done anything for a month and goodell's like don't tackle that guy the sunday before this game thomas rawls needs to get hurt somehow tell the truth mariotta just disappear from that jet game that's what it is these

concussion ads are unbelievable that they're showing during the games. I know. There's almost no precedent for it. It's weird. Like if Kimmel, somebody just bought ad time and tried to create some scandal with him. Right. That was based in real fact. Yeah.

And he went to commercial during his show and then they ran an ad from this thing just killing Kimmel like that that would be very weird but that's effectively what's happening with concussion and Will Smith screaming to tell the truth I still love I don't remember who had this idea but uh they if they really wanted to troll the NFL the casting of Goodell should have been the way to do it oh that's. Gary Busey would have been the best choice. Gary Busey, the wig, just completely brain damaged, and it just would have been the

subtle wink F you to Goodell. I say take it a step further. Make it Tracy Morgan, just off the rail. Tracy Morgan, that's great. I like that one. Tracy Morgan. I'm going to get you pregnant. Alright, what else do we got? We we're gonna find out that Goodell gets points on the back end of this movie and then it's gonna be like are you kidding me

oh my god tell the truth Jets Cowboys Cowboys home Saturday Night Affair and I will be there with the aforementioned Jimmy Kimmel this game isn't on ESPN but I still think they're trying to screw ESPN over with this thing. I got Jets minus five.

All right. It's a little hefty. I said three and a half, and it's three. So I get that. I don't know. You think that's too low? Jets minus three? Yeah.

Who's your quarterback? Come on. I think it's going to be Castle again. I'm going to this game, Bill. I may or may not. I can't believe you haven't canceled this trip yet. Hold on a second. I may or may not be sitting in Jerry Jones' box.

What? I'm not kidding. Really? I'm not kidding when I say may or may not. Yes. He likes you, though, because you roasted him once, right? He does. He tolerated me. But I'm there. I'm there to clean his glasses, whatever he wants.

It's going to be fun. Saturday night. Are you going to be able to talk about it? I think so. How are we going to do the podcast? Are we doing that Tuesday? I'll be back Sunday night. I'll be back late Sunday night. By the way, thanks to the NFL, all year I'm crying about how there's two late afternoon games. And finally, on the week I'm traveling, there's like five. Yesterday was particularly egregious.

It was Raiders, Broncos, Packers, Cowboys, which was over at 5.30 our time. Enough. Your team, 40 points the last three weeks. The two weeks before that, 30 combined. You've scored 70 points in the last three weeks the two weeks before that 30 combined you've scored 70 points in the last five weeks and now you're playing the jets their front lines gotten going right todd bowles i don't see it i think that line's too low it should be higher the jets need to win cowboys or the cowboys Dez Bryant just drives me nuts. I mean, he's on the edge of making the greatest play you've ever seen or just dropping balls.

I can't believe we're still talking about him in that regard at this point. Could you hear the audio for the game yesterday, wherever you were? A little bit, yeah. Joe Buck murdered him at one point. He did? Yeah, he recapped this season. It was a drive-by assassination. He's like, Dez Bryant, we have the contract holdout.

He's been hurt. This happened.. It was a drive-by assassination. He's like, Dez Bryant, we have the contract told out. He's been hurt. This happened. He's dropped a lot of balls. And then it all ended with like, not a good season. Wow. Good. Now Dez is going to murder him back, for real.

For Dez Bryant. Hey, speaking of the Cowboys, Sal, I want to talk about our good friends at Framebridge.com. Oh, yeah. Yeah. This makes sense. You know, well, it's's gonna make sense in a second you just wait uh i've been buying posters almost on ebay for my son's room for about three years now have not gotten them framed you know why why because when you get stuff framed it's like you're getting extorted by the local frame store yeah there's no rhyme or reason to what

these stores charge when they're famous that They're like, that'll be $800. True. So Framebridge makes it ridiculously easy to custom frame your favorite items. You can mail them anything. You can mail them art, posters, memorabilia, even uploaded photos from your phone or laptop. Their experts will frame it. They'll send it back in days. Oh, that's cool.

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deadline. I really like these guys. They framed my GQ interview that I did with Obama. It looks fantastic. I'm going to use them to frame my stuff for my son's room. And you know what else? What is it? Look at it. It's getting up here. Oh, no. Oh, wow.

Thanks, buddy. This is a framed Tony Romo jersey. I didn't do it. The guys at Framebridge sent that to you. Oh, that's great. They were like, give this to Sal when you read our Framebridge thing. Yeah, it's a Romo thing.

Remember, he was your old quarterback before he retired last month. Yeah, now I remember. Now you can remember him in a jersey. Yes, yes. You can put that in one of your 17 sons' rooms. That's terrific. I love that. Framebridge.

I like that place. So check it out. Framebridge.com's terrific. I love that. Framebridge. I like that place. So check it out. Framebridge.com. Framing the posters. You do it. You're into it. You've been into it for years. That wasn't a thing when we were kids.

I would stick it up like my Roddy Piper poster would be held together by a piece of gum from 1986. But now it's like, yeah, you're right. My kids have to frame all their posters, and it's all lopsided. Very snotty. Yeah, the kids are very snotty now with their posters. They want it in glass. They want it frame protected. Speaking of kids, last night, TLC, WWE, tables, ladders, chairs.

I know, I missed the whole thing. Ben hates Sheamus for some reason. Does he? Like, really hates him. And he's going against Roman Reigns, who like my son ben and uh and seamus ends up prevailing ben started crying he did yeah oh no he's so upset and so mad and so angry at seamus i haven't heard him cry i know he screams a lot it was only like the the second time he's cried from wrestling he was just really angry he's he's so mad that roman reigns can't win the title and he hates seamus and he just like he exploded it was great it made me think

archie cena made him cry a couple of losses right yeah so i think he my son just turned eight so i think that's the wheelhouse for when it makes you cry yeah but in six months he's gonna laugh about crying like it's just it's all make fun of himself yeah he's gonna it's gonna hit him it's like oh what was i doing that's's what my son did. They're doing a good job with the Reigns character. Yeah. Because they always do

the WWE thing where it's the guy you think's going to win the title and they keep figuring out ways to screw it up for him and he's getting madder and madder. So yesterday he beat up Triple H. Great day for the Irish

this weekend though. What happened? Colin McGregor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sheamus retains the title big i you two's been on hbo all week with their paris concert the irish are back right you're right notre dame is not banned from their bowl for uh yeah that happened they're still playing i think did you see the ufc fight uh i ended up saying uh you know you you had us bet the other the

undercard well that was that was the first time my buddy Gallo had a loser. He's been good for us, yeah. We bet on that guy Weidman, who hadn't lost in nine straight UFC fights and got beaten up about as badly as I've seen somebody get beaten up without just being carried out of the ring in a stretcher. The guy was on top of him just doing that elbow thing. I'm trying to think, like, what would be worse as an athlete than to be the guy lying on the ground,

unable to escape with, like, three minutes in the round as the guy is doing that elbow-fist combo just nonstop onslaught thing? That's the single worst thing that can happen to you as an athlete, right? Well, as I turn to my recently framed Tony Romo jersey, let's see, what's worse as an athlete, right? Well, as I turn to my recently framed Tony Romo jersey, let's see, what's worse as an athlete? But Romo just got, he got sacked, he got hurt.

Yeah, right, yeah. This is like, I have three minutes left and I'm not getting out of this. Yeah, yeah. I have no way out. I'm just gonna get punched in the face. I hope I don't break my nose in my eye socket. Right, yeah, that's bad.

That's like, in your head, you're thinking that. That's bad. Can I just read our text? Yeah. I won't read anything that's- No, please, read them. That's bad. Can I just read our text? Yeah. I won't read anything that's... No, please read them. All right. And your text come across in your voice, which is a great app.

Oh, that's... I'm going to tell you how to download. That's Simmons' voice. It's really great. It's great. My UFC buddy who won us money last two times likes Weedman tonight. It's Weedman? Weedman, yeah.

I said Weidman. I meant Weedman. Yeah. And I said, well, we have to do it then. And my ear it's my ear or my whatever yeah let's parlay them with the denver money line okay winner see i told you i said and then i said uh i said okay we have to do it let's do it and we did it and uh but wait, this must be on a different text thing. Then I texted you today about... Oh, I thought I texted you something like... I said, let's do Navy, Henry to win the Heisman, Seahawks, and something else crazy.

Those three, I think. Oh, and the Cardinals. That's right. Yeah. And you said on Thursday night, and you. Oh, and the Cardinals. That's right. Yeah. And you said on Thursday night, and you're like, I'm done doing Moneyline parlays. And then we did like four Moneyline parlays after that. I think I've had a concussion. It's the best.

I need somebody to look at me and tell me to tell the truth. I love this jersey. This is great. All right. Let's keep going. So we have more watchable games. We'll cruise through these because I don't really care about any of these. So it's Vikings-Bears.

Is that what we're up to? I had Vikings by six at home against the Bears. All right. Can we say the Bears and the Redskins are the two teams that... Maybe those are the most messed up teams. Well, you can never believe in them, but you can't not believe in them. Sure. So it's like if they're laying points, just go the other way.

And when they're getting points, grab them. I think the Bears cover this one. Yeah, you're probably right. I thought Minnesota would be seven, and it's five. So you get it. Yep. And the Bears. You're right.

Whatever you think is not going to happen happens in this. I watched both of those Bears games, and I'm passing a lot of blame around today. Robert Mays, a few weeks ago, we had a Goskowski versus robbie gold argument and he basically was like these guys are dead even i trust gold as much as you trust goskowski and it was very very very uh masturbatory about gold gold gold gold robbie gold robbie gold and uh yeah yeah. And then he proceeded to murder them the last two weeks. Terrible. They should be seven and six. They should be a game out.

It was two kicks. Yeah. The one yesterday was harder than the one a week ago, but that ended their season. They're five and eight. They have no chance. And that's another team, Washington. They were written off dead on Monday night,

and then they come out, and Cousins does a good job in Chicago. They shouldn't win that game. You could take solace in your season with that. You messed up the skins. We're going to do a lot more messing up. Did you blame North Turner for that Vikings? It's a blaze back now. Thursday night

against Arizona. I always blame North Turner. That was stupid. I feel like we've had more teams winning but not covering than I've ever seen before. Maybe. These teams that are giving between seven and ten and a half. You called it. Two thirds of the times they win but they don't cover. You're right.

I don't know. Somebody look that up. Look that up and send that info. Sal checks his Twitter replies. I don't. Send those to Sal's Twitter replies. We should not do Moneyline parlays anymore. I think that know. Somebody look that up. Look that up and send that info. Sal checks his Twitter replies. I don't. Send those to Sal's Twitter replies. We should not do Moneyline parlays anymore. I think that's what he's saying.

At least until next weekend. Colts, Texans. Actually, there's no line for this. I'll tell you now. Colts are home. Can I pat myself on the back because I'm rarely right? Go ahead. I called this whole Hasselbeck thing last week.

Remember? What'd you say? I gave you that whole, oh, maybe I said it to House. It was that Friday pod. Right. I'd pat the Jags as one of my picks because you that whole, oh, maybe I said it to House. It was that Friday pod. Right. I'd pad the Jags as one of my picks because I was like, Castlebeck's almost our age. There's no way he's going to play six straight weeks. He's got to be feeling it physically. And he finally broke

down in that Jags game. He looked like a when they sacked him one time, his helmet came off. He just looked dead. I was like, I don't know if he's embarrassed that he's bald. Everybody knows now. Or just that he has to play for this team. But I still think they win the division. It could be Yates against Whitehurst this Sunday.

The Jags can't win. They beat Atlanta this week. They win in New Orleans. Then they can win at Houston Week 17. The Jags can get to 8-8. So they're a game behind, right? Yeah. They can get to 8-8.

They have to win all three. They'd be 8-8. I like the way they're playing. a game behind right yeah they get to 8-8 so they have to win all three they'd be 8-8 I like the way they're playing what an awful division holy mackerel it's really bad so um

it's really bad the five seed's gonna play them which will probably be the Chiefs or the Broncos Chiefs aren't losing the rest of the way right Chiefs

not Broncos yeah well if the Chiefs win the division, then it's the Broncos. Oh, I see. You know what I mean? It's one of those two. Yeah. No, no, no.

We might see Andrew Luck this week. All right. I can't believe you haven't asked to talk to him. You know, Andrew Luck. Andrew Luck. We talked to Andrew Luck now, who has been on the shelf for a few weeks since his beatdown in Allentown, Pennsylvania at the fairgrounds. Andrew, are you ready to play this week? You know, I'm going to leave it up to the doctors.

You know, you mess around with your organs and you just got to be very careful. So we have a great medical staff. Matt's done a great job. And when they tell me when to come back, I'm just going to listen to them. All right. Thank you, Andrew. Good luck with your organs. Thank you.

I get a lot that that's men in black. There's a character on Men in Black that you sound like. Oh, the Vincent D'Onofrio character? Yeah. I love it. All right. Let's get out of these unwatchables. Bengals Niners. Sunday character? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. All right. Let's get out of these unwatchables. Bengals Niners.

Sunday night? No, no, no. Oh, they flexed it. They flexed it. 49ers are home. So what was the flex game? The Sunday night game now is Arizona at Philly. Oh, okay.

That's better, yeah. Good flex. Great flex, guys. Yeah, good job. Good job. Good job by the booth. I think McCarron just might not carry the network. I couldn't go higher than 7.5 with A.J. McCarron. I went Bengals by 7.5. Oh, guys. Yeah, good job. Good job. Good job by the booth. Gabbert McCarron just might not carry the network. I couldn't go higher than 7.5 with AJ McCarron.

I went Bengals by 7.5. Oh, wow. He went way high. I said 5, and it's 4. Oh, come on. That's stupid. We always do this with the backup QBs. When they get the week of the practice reps, they're fine the first week.

It's all backup QBs. Blaine Gabbert's a backup QB. People, these backup QBs, they're just sitting there with their headset on. They have no idea they're going to play. It's the first quarter. No, I know. He's sitting there going,

oh, this will be a great game. I can't wait to watch it. All of a sudden, he's in the game. Yeah. And now he's got a week. He gets to throw. He'll be fine. 22 for 32, 280 with two touchdowns, two interceptions.

He threw one of the worst passes of the season. Somebody missed a block. It wasn't totally his fault. That pick six was... He's still celebrating. That was horrible. He got a celebration penalty. He was celebrating while the celebration penalty was being announced.

He was still celebrating. He was celebrating the celebration penalty. Yeah. We had some guy. The Pats had some guy who broke up a pass 34 leonard leonard johnson somebody was that his name tate leonard johnson uh put tate on the spot like that makes a play breaks up does this whole dance and i'm like i don't know who this is and then like that's leonard johnson they just picked him up from tamp's practice squad. And this guy was awesome yesterday.

He broke up like three passes and did two huge, big demonstrative dances. And he's like our second best defensive back now. They're having fun. I don't know who he is. You have to have fun in this league. By the way, Cincinnati brought in Ponder and Mallett. And I just think with the way the quarterback's getting hurt, one of these guys is going to play for all 32 teams, right?

Ponder or Mallet. Christian Ponder. Just gets passed every week? Definitely. I give it four and a half years before he's on all 32 rosters. Whitehurst has been on a few now, right? He has. Yeah.

He's probably been on like four. Cost me $18,000, Whitehurst. Yeah, he owes you. I'll never forgive him. He owes you. I should have known not to get against Jesus. All right, now we get to the teasers. We have three teaser games.

All right. Your Patriots, home for the Titans. 14. I think we're laying 14 points. It's a good number. Let me find it now because I'm out of a... I said 13. It's 13 and a half.

So we split it, right? Yeah. All right. So there's one. Seahawks Browns in Seattle. Seah So there's one. Seahawks-Browns in Seattle. Seahawks-Browns. I am Seahawks by 15. I said 15 and a half.

It's 14 and a half. All right. That's our second. And then Chiefs minus 10 and a half in Baltimore. Let me see where this is. I have to find this. You said 10 and a half? Yeah.

I said nine. It's seven and a half. Oh, come on, Vegas. I know. I know. They didn't watch that game. They didn't watch that terrible Ravens team. I heard one of the many

talking heads yesterday was going nuts about Alex Smith. How great he's been. How he just won't let this Chiefs team lose. Yeah. You know, he didn't look good the first five weeks. Everybody was like, this is it.

Alex Smith, what's your ceiling with him? Well, so week eight in London, they put up 45 on Detroit. By week, they win 29 to 13 over Denver. That was the week Denver's D was a little banged up. 33 to 3 over the terrible Chargers. 30 to 22 over the Bills. That was the week Denver's D was a little banged up. 33-3 over the terrible Chargers. 30-22 over the Bills. That's not bad. Although the Bills might not have a good defense.

I think we might think they do. Yeah, but they were behind in that. That was a good come from behind. Good one. Raiders, 34 points. Not bad. 10 points against the Chargers. My point is...

It's pouring rain. Pouring rain. I think he's played better. I'm not willing to have the you can win a Super Bowl with Alex Smith conversation yet. I'm just not. I think people are just excited that he's throwing to receivers in the red zone. Yeah. They've never seen anything like it.

Oh my god. Is that an 11 yard pass? Exactly. But they were lucky to win. Can I just toot my own horn here? Please're talking to Ravens? Did you win more bets? First of all, my best bet on SportsCenter is I'm 11-3. I was 12-3 last year. I was 1-2 last week anyway, but 12-3.

I go on TV, I say, this Seahawks game, this reeks of 35-9. And then on Twitter, I change it. Someone asked me, do you still like Seattle now that it's 12-1⁄2? I said, well, let's see. The final's 35-6. 35-6 is 29. 29 is greater than 12-1⁄2. Yeah.

Yeah, 35-6. I like it. Final score, 35-6. Wow. You've got telepathic powers now. I don't give scores out ever. Now you're just giving the scores out. I said, it's 35-6.

So how'd you do this week on SportsCenter? I was 1-2, but I hit my give scores out. I don't give scores out ever. Now you're just giving the scores out. I said 35-6. So how'd you do this week on SportsCenter? I was 1-2, but I hit my best bet again. 11-3 with the best bets. But you said you were 1-2. Yeah, yeah, but I hit my best bet. What are you talking about? As you were 1-2. How dare you?

How's my old friend Neil Everett? He likes you a lot. He says hi. He's doing well. I like that Neil Everett. Yeah, he's a good guy. There's a lot of ESPN people I like and miss. Good guy. He should come by. A lot of good people there. I'm going to bring you a lot. He says hi. He's doing well. I like that Neil Everett. Yeah, he's a good guy. There's a lot of ESPN people I like and miss. Good guy.

You should come by. There's a lot of good people there. I'm going to bring you by Thursday. That would be... I don't know if I'm allowed in the building. I think the alarms would go off. I'll sneak you and we'll put you... We'll put you in prosthetics like...

I did so many terrible things. Like bust my ass for four, three and a half years. Maybe they'll forgive you. Yeah. All right. This is now Loser'll forgive you. Yeah. All right. This is now Loser Leaves Town. Yeah. The Loser Leaves Town matchups.

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Get three months of free advisory services if you enroll right now. That's personalcapital.com slash BS. Loser leaves town. That's not as easy to frame. Free advice. Free advice. But they should send the frame over just the same. I would if I could.

I would. All right. We have two Loser Leaves Town games. All right. New format. Tate, Tate, you like the new format? I like it a lot. He likes it.

All right. Thanks, Tate. Buffalo at Washington. Good game. I think if Buffalo was good, they would have beaten Philly. I would even put this in the watchable category. But I know it is a lose-or-leave.

No, I know. It's two teams that can't stop getting in their own way. But have talent. And you watch them and you see the potential and you just know with the coaches and the quarterback system, you can quite get there. I think that I'm going to hit this exact. Skins by three. No, you missed it.

I said Skins by one and a half. Washington's favorite by one. I don't agree with that line. You think Buffalo on the road? I don't trust Buffalo. I don't trust.... I don't trust... Man, I hate to turn on him.

Tyrod Taylor. Made some really bad throws. Really bad throws yesterday. There was that one. Watkins was wide open in that third and 14. He just threw it out of bounds. That was a weird game. I think everyone was convinced Buffalo was going to win

because of this little Sean McCoy thing. They're like, he called, you know, Chip Kelly called him and he hung up and yes, that's going to inspire the Bills. Then I'm like, why wouldn't that inspire the Eagles? Then I'm like, why is anyone getting inspired by a phone call? Who cares?

What is this, freaking Dawson's Creek? Someone hung up on someone else. Or it didn't happen at all. Whatever. They're in the locker room waiting to find out what happened with Chip Kelly's phone call. Hey guys, you here? He hung up on her. That's it. I think you didn't drink in college.

So you missed out on a lot of broken brain cells. I had no gambling money. Terrible moments. But Jägermeister is the one thing if you drank too much of it. Anything in that sort of realm, it just got super wonky and nothing good happened. Right. And you woke up the next day and you just like, you felt like you'd been just been drugged. Are you about to call Mike Tomlin a drunk again?

No, I didn't call Mike Tomlin a drunk. Stop it. The Eagles are the Jägermeister team. Oh. I just came up with this right now. That's pretty good. I watched them play, and I don't know what just happened. I didn't really enjoy it.

I don't know if they're good at football or not. It's disjointed. The other team always looks terrible. There's mistakes. It doesn't feel like a normal NFL football game. And week after week, they do it. So now you have the Bills, who are also like that. And I'm predicting all kinds of craziness in this game. And week after week, they do it. So now you have the Bills who are also like that, and I'm predicting all kinds of craziness in this game.

Yeah. Well, this is Buffalo-Washington. This is going to be... I don't know. I'm sorry. I meant the Redskins are like that. We can predict yesterday's game. We'll do great. No, the Eagles. Yeah, I don't know what I just did there. I know. This is a toss-up.

I'm saying the Eagles did that to the Bills. I'm with you. But now I don't know what I just did there. I know. No, this is a toss-up. I'm saying the Eagles did that to the Bills. I'm with you. But now I don't know if that stinks in the Bills. I don't know. I don't know what to make of the Bills is my point. You're drunk on Jagermeyer. I am. I just said Jagermeyer.

All right, Jacksonville home for Atlanta. I like the Jags. I think they're solid. I think the Falcons are an atrocity. I had Jags by three, and I think if it's anywhere below six, take the Jags. I said three also. It's three and a half, and I think that's fair. I mean, it's getting hard to make the one six and one Falcons a less than three-point dog to anyone, anywhere.

This is weird. This happens with the nfl sometimes where if you just throw out the first five weeks of what happened and then look at the body of work since then right it seems like it should matter more than it does this team blows they've lost five straight games they've actually they haven't won since week eight and the week eight game that they won was that weird bucks ot game that they should have lost which one are we oh atlanta yeah atlanta weren't they six and one i think they've lost six straight um i thought they were six and one it doesn't matter oh well whatever they're

bad news they stink yeah what's weird though is that i thought with the coaching i don't know it's like matt ryan reallyressed, but he's like 29. How do you regress when you're in your late 20s? Right. And Julio Jones, they're blaming the other receivers. If you read these Atlanta Insiders, the website and everything, they blame the other receivers for not making it possible for Julio Jones to get open, marginalizing him.

It's hard for me to accept that when my receivers are like Keyshawn Martin and Brandon LaFell who every game we throw a 60-yard pass to Brandon LaFell where the defensive back is just mirroring his route and it's almost like a shadow. It's right there, yeah. Yeah, and he just breaks it up. I don't think we've completed it yet. Yeah, you're going to be alright.

You're right, we will actually. Alright, so now we're going to watchables. We've got actually. Atlanta. All right. So now we're going to watchables. We've got four games left. Right. Three of them were watchables. Packers at the Raiders. It's a great game.

Yeah, this is a fun one all of a sudden. I'm really excited to pick the Raiders and then have my heart broken. I'm going to have the Packers by two and a half in Oakland. All right. I hit it exactly. You should have said three. Are we sure Oakland should leave Oakland? No, they should stay.

They should stay. They should stay. I don't want them to go to LA. No. Just stay in Oakland. I like having the Oakland Raiders. Why do they have to leave? I think Mack and Carr.

They can move to LA and just have this. I know. Just stick around. The team's getting good Carr. They're going to move to L.A. and just have this. I know. Just stick around. The team's getting good now. Yeah, they made really good picks. I think they got Mack and Derek Carr in the same draft. It was the same draft. It could be the best draft for a team in the last 20 years.

They got a franchise quarterback and they got a dominant. You know what's funny? Maybe not funny if you're a Cleveland fan. I think Cleveland could add both of those guys Yeah I think didn't they draft Sixth or something? They had the fourth pick

They traded backwards For eight and 22 But if they had just stayed where they were I think they could have just taken Mack And Derek Carr Yeah they had a lot of problems there, Cleveland. Poor Cleveland.

The factory of sadness. You know what? Now they're winning games and they're going to knock themselves out of the Ben Simmons lottery. They're never going to be able to draft that guy. Explain to me that. Why did the Browns win yesterday? What is that? I'm a Browns fan.

I would have started the punter, a quarterback. Oh, it's even worse. And now Manziel's going to put up good numbers the next three games. They're actually not, but they're at Seattle. Well, they're 3-10. They're at Seattle, at KC, home for Pittsburgh. Yeah, that should be. The whole thing is throw yesterday away and then play Manziel the last three. The thing is, it's not that great a draft.

I mean, are you looking at Joey Bosa, the number one pick? What are you going to do? I don't know who that is. Is that a person? Which quarterback? Jared Goff, Cal quarterback. That's going to be the number one quarterback. He's tall, right?

Who's the tall quarterback? No, the Baylor quarterback's tall. There's not a lot going on. I like McCaffrey's son. Christian McCaffrey? Yeah, but he's not coming out. I just like him. I like when people that not only did I watch, but also were essential video game characters

once upon a time. Oh, right. Ed McCaffrey was great in video games. When you use that, he just caught everything. And now he has a son. Is that Tecmo Bowl? It was like early Madden. Early Madden?

It was like the 90s Madden, right? I guess so, yeah. It was during that last vestige of the OA. Yeah, he used to kill the Patriots in fake video games. Panthers at Giants. I have Carolina by three. I like the Giants. I think this is when it ends.

Oh, wow. You went low, low. I hit it exactly. Six and a half. Panthers at the Giants? Yeah. The Giants are getting six and a half at home? Giants are coming off a short week.

Carolina only kills teams. What do you need to see? You can't make a 13-0 team three, three and a half, can you? You just hate the Giants. I do. The Giants fans are listening, and they're very confident they can shut down Ted Ginn, Jericho Cotterie, and Greg Olson. Carolina goes undefeated for a regular season if they don't lose this.

They're having fun. Olson needs to come back, though. They need that guy. He was banged up. Cam, what would it mean for you to go to undefeated? I'm just coming up with silent reporter questions. Oh, I see. I like that.

Cam, what does 14-0 mean to you? You know what I heard a good thing? Let's get to it now because cards eagles I love that Carson Palmer he throws down field he has guys in his face

he's throwing down field and then I heard Phil Simms say he's a great thrower of the football he said that? he's a great thrower of the football what does that that? He's a great thrower of the football. What does that mean? Phil, you're a great eater of that bagel. Did you know that?

Phil Simms. Poor Phil Simms. You're a great writer of an article. Come on, Phil Simms. Can't Rex Ryan just have his job next year and win? No, Phil's great. He's good. Arizona at Philly.

Sunday night game. The best team is Ian Eagle and Dan Fouts. They're really good. Arizona at Philly. Sunday night game. The best team is Ian Eagle and Dan Fouts. They're really good. I love those guys. And I like Burkhart and the guy that he's with. There's good teams. That's why the teams, when it's Sims, it's just like, come on. We have better teams than this.

But you want your boy Gus Johnson. He's got to make the move. The Gus Johnson. He's got to make the move. That's one of the tragedies of this century for sports was that Gus was perfect at CBS. Right there. He had the March Madness in the NFL. Yeah.

It was the best. So excited. I heard him a couple weeks ago. It was terrific. Ian Eagle did a great job with whatever game he called it. What game was that? He called one of the close ones. He was great.

I can't remember. Yeah, he did a good one. He's really good. I like Ian Eagle. He was a fan guy, right? He was like the fan update ones. He was great. I can't remember. Yeah, he did a good one. He's really good. I like Ian Eagle. He was a fan guy, right? He was like the fan update guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I love him.

He was Francesa's other choice in 2009. It was me and Ian Eagle. We're the two guys he would have replaced Dog with. That would have been interesting. Hey, Ian. I've been a winner for 20 years. I'm throwing this out there. Francesca's doing this dog reunion.

I want to host Francesca for the whole day. I'd fly back for it. What do you mean host? I want to co-host it with him. I just want to be dog for five hours. Oh, really? Yeah, I just want to do five straight hours with Francesca. I think he was asking you to when you did the interview.

I want to come back. I'll fly back for that. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's good. I'd start bothering him By about 3.30 I feel like He'd be

At 3.30 he's like This is a bad idea Why did I do this? If you started at 3.15 Yeah it would be 3.30 Hey Bill I thought 4 o'clock hour Would just take some calls

Vinny from the Bronx You're up Vinny let's talk Patriots Vinny Hey Mike I mean seriously We're going to win the Super Bowl game Oh shut up

I'm so tired of this guy. Yeah he'd be pouring Diet Coke over you. He'd be throwing the cans at your head. Yeah I want to do five hours with Francesa in 2016. That's one of my goals. It's like breakfast with Blassie. Like five hours with Francesa. It could be its own thing. Alright

Arizona at Philly. Ooh. Now is when I should have done my whole J Jagermeister story. Oh, right. It was just a little early. I got excited. Just for the wrong team. I just don't know what to make of anyone Philly plays afterwards.

I think it screws us up for the next week. Now this week, give the cards. This will be an ugly game. Is this the Sunday night game now? Sunday night, yep. Cards by three and a half. Do we split this? Yeah. I said four and a half and it's four so wait we have one left and six seven eight one two three does that just a complete stay away that

game i'm up by one are all eagles games stay aways i would think so away from the eagles i love the cardinals i know they didn't cover last week but but I love that team. I think they're going to the Super Bowl. They're so balanced. They're exciting with players who aren't exciting. I don't know. And he's a great thrower of the football, that Carson Palmer. He throws the football. What more can you say? Alright, one game left. What did you bill this?

This is called Game of the Week. This is Game of the Week. Sponsored by SeatGeek, our presenting sponsor. That's right. And it's Denver at Pittsburgh. And if you win this, you tie me for the Week. Sponsored by SeatGeek, our presenting sponsor. That's right. And it's Denver at Pittsburgh. And if you win this, you tie me for the week. And I think you're going to. Here's my fear with Pittsburgh is that I think everybody's on the whole, oh, nobody wants to see them.

You don't want to see Pittsburgh. It's like, yeah, of course I don't. They have great skill guys. And, yeah, we all know already. They've snuck up on nobody. Well, this is a team you can't hold under 30 points against a Denver defense. Yeah, Ben Roethlisberger's one of the best five quarterbacks in the league. Nobody's surprised by Pittsburgh.

I have Pittsburgh by four. So you tie. You win this. I said three and a half. We tied for the week. We tied for the week. I thought I could steal from you. Pittsburgh's favored by six.

You notice how Manning was on the sideline yesterday? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He saw the fear in Brock Osweiler's eyes. Before he was in the suite, trying to psych him out that way. Yeah. It's like, no, I'm not going to help him. I'm not going to give him any advice.

He can sink or swim on his own. Then Brock Osweiler does pretty well. Manning's like, plan B. I'm going to go to the sidelines, and I'm just going to have a weird look on my face for three hours and try to freak him out. And it worked. So now Manning's going to be right next to him this game.

He's got the clipboard in front of his mouth, and you think it's to block so that no one can see what plays, they're discussing, whatever. I think he's snickering. Oh, you think he is? Yeah, I don't think he wants people to see. He's not doing plays at all? No, no, he's just laughing to himself.

He's like, Brock, you should, you know what Thomas loves? He loves low balls. Yeah, yeah. Just keep it low. And like, he's giving him just bad advice. Because this is the week he could really sabotage Aswiler and get his job back. Hit Vernon Davis in the chest. See what happens.

Tell Vernon Davis that you really need him this drive because that'll make him play better. No, I think he's going to try to ruin him. Yeah. I don't buy the Peyton Manning good teammate thing at all. I could see it. But it's totally rational. I just like rooting against him. Sure, of course.

I have no real evidence. Other than that, I don't understand why he was not on the sideline until this week. It was weird. It was like he was in a walking boot. It's like, well, Luck had a lacerated kidney. He was on the freaking sideline. What's worse, a it was like a walking boot it's like well luck had a lacerated kidney it was on the freaking sideline what's worse a lacerated kidney or a broken foot i did think it was weird when he stuffed a hundred dollar bill in vernon davis's uh jockstrap when he dropped it yeah after he dropped it do you think he talked to those guys

listen guys throw this game away yeah if you you know i'm better than this guy if brock keeps going i also the brady bledsoe comparison thing i think freaked brock out a little bit this game away. Yeah. You know I'm better than this guy. If Brock keeps going. I also, the Brady Bledsoe comparison thing I think freaked Brock out a little bit. Brady Bledsoe? Oh, you think so?

People were doing the 2001. I didn't think he played so terribly. These drops were, they muffed the punt. You know how hard it is to come back

from a muffed punt. Denver should have won that game. Stupid. He did achieve one thing though. Also achieved by, who was your guy in the Mets, not DeGrom? Harvey Syndergaard?

Syndergaard. Yeah. My wife, walking by the TV, they showed Osweiler, you know, very handsome man. Oh, really? And my wife did the, who is that? Wow. Second time this year it's happened. It was Syndergaard and Osweiler?

Yeah, so you know how they do the Sportsman of the Year for Sports Illustrated? It was announced it was Serena. I think the Who Is That? should also be its own award. I like that. Syndergaard and Osweiler sharing it this year. Well, they still have two weeks left. I think you need to get rid of your televisions. It's not good for your marriage.

He's a very handsome guy. I swear. Jimmy Kimmel Live from Starcar isaac on tonight misty copeland jeff lynn's elo later in the week john krasinski chris fowler and kirk herbstreet are on uh ryan seacrest and donald trump wednesday night donald trump did he cancel the last time no he did cancel when we were in brooklyn so might still cancel again. Hit me up at TheCousinSal on Twitter, where I give accurate predictions of final scores in the NFL. And SportsCenter, one and two last week.

Yeah, who cares? Eleven and three best bets. Seven out of my last eight. Seven out of your last eight's good. It's pretty good. Against the spread. Leave us feedback for the new format, either on Sal's Twitter or on the iTunes page for the Bill Simmons podcast,

one or the other. They have little review things there. We'll go check. I'll look at that. We'll look it up. Thanks to our buddies at Framebridge. Not only do they send me and Sal gifts. They sent you a gift.

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free finance tracking app available. Head over to personalcapital.com slash BS to link your accounts and you'll have your own personal financial dashboard in seconds. That's personalcapital.com slash BS. Thanks to SeatGeek, the presenting sponsor of the BS podcast, as well as our favorite place to buy and sell tickets. And thanks to Dunkin' Donuts for opening up a Dunkin' Donuts on Hollywood Boulevard. Unbelievable. Good. My 13-year drought is over.

I know. It's nice. Good. I've been looking to gain some weight, so it's fun. I know. I was thinking yesterday, watching my kids down donuts. I was like, ah, this is going to be a really interesting next year with Dunkin' Donuts in our lives. Because they're so good.

I know. They're so good. Yep. The coffee was great. I was so happy. But anyway, that's it for the BS Report. We'll be back next week. Even though it's a weird holiday week.

A lot of people have it off. We'll be here. We're here. We're here after that. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here all through the playoffs.

We'll probably lose some money again. Yeah, let's lose some money. Good job by you, Billy. Good job by you. We about this bitch. Anytime y'all want to see me again, rewind this track right here. Close your eyes. And picture me rolling. I'm gonna get some more rope.