The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 42: Week 16 NFL picks w/ Cousin Sal
Episode Date: December 21, 2015HBO's Bill Simmons talks to Cousin Sal about his trip to Dallas to watch a Cowboys game in Jerry Jones' suite, as well as: ODB vs. Josh Norman (10:00), Bill's review of 'Concussion' (14:00), Cam Newto...n as MVP (19:00), Week 16 Picks (23:00), Belichick's hatred for fantasy football (32:00), AFC playoff QB's (34:00), Andy Reid vs. Brandon Weeden (39:00), Carolina's undefeated chances (46:00), Broncos-Bengals MNF (53:00) and Steve Harvey's Miss Universe mishap (55:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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And we're off well you could picture
cousin Sal Rowling
in Dallas
this weekend
you were even on TV
I made it
my head was cut off
but that was for sure me
behind Jimmy Kimmel
my cousin
and Jerry Jones
what an experience move your mic a tiny bit toward you without breaking it toward me? yeah yeah But that was for sure me behind Jimmy Kimmel, my cousin, and Jerry Jones.
What an experience.
Move your mic a tiny bit toward you without breaking it.
Toward me?
Yeah, yeah.
Just a little bit.
Oh, yeah.
Were you rooting for or against Dallas?
Because now you've got to be thinking about draft picks.
No, I was.
And then I realized how tense it was in the booth. And these guys, unless they're the greatest actors in the world,
and I really don't think they are, they're rooting for this team to win every you mean the owners the owners the
owner's son we went there so you get there like we were told like romo hooked us up with seats i
don't want to this is going to suck for people who hate me and hate my bragging and hate the
cowboys but we're hooked up with seats we were told we were going to be in in jerry jones's
luxury box so that was very cool
and then we get there and it's like it's a huge luxury box it's like 60 seats right they wrote a
big new york times piece about it there's a ton of people there and it's like charlotte the
daughter's there and she greets everyone and jerry's wife and then jerry comes in and the son
and they greet everyone but then they go up to a smaller box. It's really like the size of the average kitchen, I would say.
Really?
Yeah.
Like eight seats?
Six seats?
Six seats, I think.
That's so Jared can swear and stuff?
Yeah, yeah.
So it's like a second level additional box.
It's above the main box.
It's just all these rich people and maybe a couple of celebrities here.
Like Chris Harrison was there.
Lee Majors was there.
Lee Majors, the $6 million man?
The $6 million man.
Oh, my God.
How did you not lead with that?
I know.
I should have led with that.
And I think we were talking about this.
Is he the coolest Lee of all time?
Yes.
He has to be, right?
Who was the guy from Mad Men who made a pass at the gay guy?
Oh.
Lee something Junior?
Oh, right, right, right.
Yeah.
That guy?
That's right
it's him and lee majors those are the two yes uh harvey oswald doesn't make it i don't think
oh yeah i didn't even think of that lee majors was married to farrah fawcett when she was like
the hottest woman of all time let me tell you something he's engaged now to the second hottest
woman of all time oh he did he did it 40 years has he's 40 years herald he's got to be 75 i think
he's 76 i think we looked it up okay 76 he still did up amazing pep to him what was the six million
dollar man yeah six million not even a big deal anymore no six million dollars he'd be like the
hundred billion dollar man now right right did you talk to lee majors for a little bit yeah did
you bring up Andre the Giant?
Jimmy had met him before.
I didn't get to bring up Andre, but...
Yeah.
Yeah, just...
Some great scenes with you and Andre, Lee.
I want to go back and watch those.
All right, so you have the suite.
So Jerry goes to the top.
So first Jerry comes in with Steve,
and they're very nice.
The whole family's very nice,
and they're probably just very nice to us
because it's Jimmy Kimmel and his guest.
And it's me and my buddy Darren, my buddy Brian and the four of us.
And Jerry comes down and is happy to announce right off the bat to any stranger who hasn't met yet
that we're going to be seeing a quarterback change today.
It was like the first thing he says.
He actually didn't even come out and say it like that.
He's like, we're going to be switching things up at a key position today.
Like, great.
Meaning Kellen Moore.
Kellen Moore is coming in for Matt Kass.
Yeah, you texted me that and there was no way for me to profit from it financially.
It's like, what do I do with this Kellen Moore information?
Exactly, I know.
Do I bet my neighbors?
No, you can't.
Because then Kassel ended up playing the first two or three drives anyway.
And through one of the worst interceptions.
And by the way, you can't consider yourself a sports fan until you've seen live a guy get called for intentional grounding.
On a pick.
While throwing an interception.
Yeah, it's never happened before. I've never seen it before.
Intentional grounding interception.
Right.
And to see it live is just.
An IGI.
Spectacular.
That's what it is?
Yeah.
Or maybe it should be pick intentional grounding a pig.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
Maybe it should just be go take a job at Golden Corral or something.
I don't know what capital.
He should be an announcer.
Yeah.
He could easily be.
I don't know about Brandon Whedon, but now he's going to have a chance to win a playoff game.
No.
No?
You phrased that incorrectly.
We have a chance to bet against Brandon Whedon in a playoff game.
Okay.
Because I've been thinking about it for the last 15 hours.
Infuriating.
Why is it infuriating?
We're going to profit financially.
It's not even like three years from now.
It's like the same year Whedon destroys the Cowboys year.
Whatever.
I don't even want to get into it.
You're blaming Whedon for your Cowboys fans?
No, no.
I'm sorry.
I have a lot of thoughts.
Anyway, we're in the big luxury box for three quarters.
And then the beginning of the fourth quarter jerry security guard comes down this guy seems like he's straight out of sanford and son season
four oh but but muscular yeah like 65 you know yeah and uh he's like mr jones would like to see
you in the in the boot and i'm like we though we are in the booth like no no in the actual booth
so we get we take an elevator upstairs the four of you the four of us we go up there and now it's the four of us and
now we're outnumbering basically the joneses like it's yeah it's jerry his two sons and actually
steven's son so actually it's four and four it's eight of us in this box and it's a small box you
know and it's like and i'm used to the heart heart-wrenching losses now in my living room.
I could throw a remote control.
I know what swear words I could say depending on which kid's in the room and everything.
I know I could scream about...
When you're in the booth, you can't scream like,
What the F are we doing here?
We have an empty backfield and Dez Bryant isn't on the field and he's not hurt.
I can't say that. I can't scream it.
Because deep down, you're still holding on hopes to the NFC somehow.
Right, of course.
And I see that they are, too.
Sadly and pathetically, yeah.
Because I'm thinking of what you're thinking, too.
It's like, well, maybe they're just into it.
They're rooting for a high draft pick or something.
No.
They think they can win this game.
He's got a slight hard-on for this Kellen Moore.
So he thinks Kellenore might swing the season
he likes kellen moore i joke around i say jerry you could open the roof uh why can't you change
the field to blue make kellen field at all feel at home boise state good point kind of went over
his head i think i don't think he got it all i had to put it out there you know so it's getting
crazy in typical cowboys fashion there's a call 50 50 call like oh if they called
it one way on the field it would have gone you know the fumble and now i'm getting nervous i'm
like yeah i know there's at least one more cutaway to jerry in this box and i want to now i'm like
not even thinking about the game i'm thinking like i don't trust myself i'm gonna do something
stupid here i want to put myself on the map forever and and it's better if it's a winning
situation which i know few and far like you like jumping up and down yeah i'm surveying the I want to put myself on the map forever. And it's better if it's a winning situation,
which I know few and far between.
Like you jumping up and down, hugging Jerry.
Yeah, I'm surveying the situation.
There's popcorn somewhere.
Maybe I dump it on his head.
Maybe I just kiss his head.
And the other thing is the CBS feed or whatever network they're on at the time is a good four Mississippi off from what's going on in the game.
You'll hear Nance, like,
Jerry Jones has to be concerned with how disorganized this team looks.
And you're right behind him.
Like, Jerry, are you concerned with how disorganized?
You don't know what to do.
So he can hear the announcers.
He can hear the announcers, but late, but after the play and everything.
So the cutaway to him and Jimmy,my as you see and me behind them is occurs like four seconds before we see it so i'm now thinking what
am i going to do if there's a celebration i have to time this right i have to kiss his head luckily
the cowboys blow it and cbs didn't go to the last cutaway of him which they almost always do like
yeah that's the third kellen moore interception I think maybe it's because Jimmy was in the box.
I was going to say, is there some Colbert CBS ABC stuff?
Don't promote that.
They didn't even mention his name, right,
when they first cut him.
True.
Right.
So Moonves calls.
Maybe.
And he's like, don't mention Kimmel.
Maybe.
Don't say his name.
Maybe Nance doesn't recognize him.
Who knows?
All I know is he has Pan on Saturday, the Duke game, seven cutaways to Jimmy Fallon in a
silly sweatshirt at the Garden, whatever.
Did Phil Simms call Jimmy the baddest late night host?
Did you hear Phil Simms say that yesterday?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He's having one of the baddest games he's had.
He's talking Michael Jackson.
Phil Simms did two games in like 18 hours.
Yeah, right.
It was so punchy by half
time of the second game oh he fell he fell apart anyway he's out of it after inside the NFL well
the rest of the story is not that great it's like you know they lose sad in typical Cowboys fashion
really sad we have to go in this elevator now the eight of us and go one floor and it seemed
like I could feel the exhales of the Jones brothers and father on me as we go up.
It's really sad.
I know people are like, oh, these people, they're rich.
What do they care?
They charge $90 for parking.
Who cares?
But I can't believe these people don't have heart attacks.
You lost a fantasy game yesterday,
and you probably lost a couple hours sleep over it,
or you were at least bummed about it.
I don't know how these guys operate.
For me, I knew it was over when Beckham like the first play of the game for 10 points i
was like okay it's one of these days yeah and then i'm going against the chiefs defense and
jimmy clausen yeah and having that team i'm like this is they're gonna score two touchdowns of
jimmy and and they got the two touchdowns right it was terrible i played the same team last week
and again i think they did against against you. Their kicker and defense
combined for like 35.
Fantasy is terrible. Fantasy
is the dumbest thing. I scored
like 60 points. I
thought I picked the best team this year. I lost
three of my starters. You had the most points
in the regular season and then scored 60
in the first half. I have all
these guys get like four points, five points.
I get zero for my defense.
I hate fantasy football.
I might quit.
I might actually have Brad vote me out if he wins.
I might be with you.
My kicker got outscored by 17 and I lost by three.
And that's it.
That's it for my season.
But what kind of food did you eat in the Jones suite?
It's great.
It's like they mix it up at halftime.
This is now the biggest.
They mix it up.
So what do they start with?
They bring in, it was just like chili and I'm trying to think what else, like mac and
cheese and stuff like that.
And then at halftime, there's sushi, fried chicken and Nathan's hot dogs.
I don't know where they get the Nathan's hot dogs and like, oh, and like, oh, you would
have liked this fried Oreos and like a little milkshake on
the side fried oreos i would not have eaten that you would have been there yeah you wouldn't eat
that so they started with chili and then audible to sushi i think that's disgusting i know it is
that might be a problem with our season that's how lee majors likes it
lee majors i can't believe he was there and chris harrison the greatest yeah
yep the original bachelor and the host of the bachelor did chris harrison believe he was there. And Chris Harrison? The greatest, yeah. The original Bachelor and the host of The Bachelor.
Did Chris Harrison say he was excited?
Did he lie?
What did he say about this upcoming season?
He said it's going to be the most dramatic season of all time.
Oh, he did?
Yeah.
It always is.
It really always is.
Well, that sounds like a fun trip.
That was a lot of fun.
You're going to get a top five pick.
What do you care?
Yeah, I guess so.
I mean, at this point, you're screwed anyway.
It's not like you were going to win the division.
Kirk Cousins is one of the five best quarterbacks in football now.
Now, that's one you're not going to want to root against in the first round.
Washington.
Even if they're home from Minnesota.
Washington's not terrible.
No.
We're giving them the division right away.
It's so funny how now the Texans and Redskins, you'd be almost shocked if they didn't them the division right away It's so funny how now the cult The Texans and Redskins
You'd be almost shocked if they didn't win the division
At this point
I had a couple things for you
Did your cousin have a good time by the way?
Yeah I think he had a good time
Did you get to see Odell vs. Josh?
People are very upset today
They are
This is the Odell
He's really out of control
Our boy Tate here saw it live
Tate saw it live
Tate said it was the best one-on-one matchup he's ever seen
He's only 22
He hasn't seen a lot of one-on-one matchups
I love how bent out of shape people get about this
It was fun
They were going at it
Odell lost his mind
But the hit was a cheap shot.
That's bad.
That was really bad.
The circling back head shot.
Yeah.
It's a one-game suspension, which leads me to my question.
Is this the biggest suspension in the history of fantasy football?
Oh.
Week 16 is the fantasy football finals.
If you have Odell Beckham on your team, team he's gonna get suspended for week 16 you've now
lost you've lost your best guy you've lost one of the three best receivers in the league i can't
remember this happening another one i can't think of we've had we've had like where where guys might
not play the whole game like quarterbacks on 14 and no teams things like that i don't ever remember
a suspension right i don't either yeah i would say the the suspension that wasn't brady
forced people to take him in like the eighth or ninth round which swung a lot of seasons if you
do a snake draft or for right for three dollars or whatever it was but um yeah no this is the
biggest but and he is going to get suspended because this movie is coming out this week like
you'd figure if nothing else like star wars couldn't even save him oh there's
another movie coming out concussion yeah because of that now you have to sit a game i saw it yeah
i saw a concussion no i saw a concussion i'm not going to see star wars you know i'm going tonight
are you going yeah the family's really into it i don't feel like a pay-per-view uh
we're out of theaters in three days just yeah i it up. Yeah. I think I'm fine.
I'm going to wait until all the nerds are done going,
and then I'll go.
Uh,
concussion.
Will Smith's accent.
I mean,
it had all the seeds of a good movie,
but Will Smith is talking like this.
Oh,
really?
I read that he nailed it.
It's not good?
He nailed what?
What did he nail?
It's like his SNL sketch,
basically.
Yeah, a little bit.
It's a little Eddie Murphy coming to America.
He really committed to it the whole time.
And I don't know.
He does a lot of crying.
It's fine.
They don't really go after the NFL.
It's not like The Insider where they really go after the cigarette industry.
And it's like, these are the bad guys.
At the NFL, it's like, these are kind of the bad guys, but we don't really want to go after him i think that's why the nfl hasn't had that big of a problem
with it really they go after him but not really after we talked about this and we talked about
this we did talk about this goodell i was being sent articles saying that like he not that he had
editorial approval of anything but he did have a hand in some part of the movie like he he cut a deal with
them like hey if this we'll promote it on our networks and everything and during games but
it's got to be a certain way and i think he got his wish well they have nfl footage in it right
which i thought was interesting because i'm reasonably sure you can't use nfl footage in
a movie unless it's not a documentary yeah yeah so i don't know it's fine hey it's the
the best stuff is like the stuff with like mike webster and things like that where uh just like
him melting down and then they took some liberties i mean it's worth seeing now they're saying take
your kid take your son and let him decide if he's gonna play you think that's if you took
ben to concussion yeah ben might be
a little young but if you took him ben's afraid of football he is yeah i mean i feel like the
words out in the street with the second and third graders like you play football you're in trouble
yeah yeah but but yet at the same time kill you he's out there he's a killer just to be fair my
son also wants to be a professional wrestler yeah so i'm not i'm not sure he's the best audience right now right he yeah he's created uh finishing moves for himself
and all this oh yeah oh yeah oh good yeah he's been uh assaulting the pillows in our house that's
awesome concussion uh i would i would say is is a pay-per-view and i wouldn't actually see it in
the theater yeah i don't think i don't think it it's worth seeing. One of the best movies I saw was Room.
Brie Larson's going to win Best Actress for it.
Oh, yeah?
This woman's trapped in a room with her five-year-old son
because she was kidnapped like eight years ago.
She had a baby with the captor.
The guy just keeps her in this room,
and they're just planning to get out of the room.
It's really good.
Yeah, it's really good.
That's probably my favorite movie I've seen this year i can't even tell i guess you're serious
because i know brie law you thought yeah i don't know i thought we were doing our thing
but i do have a competing movie oh no that was a real movie oh that was a real one yeah this one's
real too this is um this streams on you know jib jib jabs, jib jab, the one where, you know, your
mother, is that the one where she puts, she makes the whole family an elf and they dancing
elf and they email, she emails you and your whole family.
I think it's jib jab.
It streams.
Okay.
Just stay with me here.
Yeah.
It's a Reese Witherspoon stars in it.
Yeah.
And she's got a lisp.
It's actually about herself and it's around the holiday time.
It's called wreath and she overcomes a struggle. It's actually about herself. And it's around the holiday time. It's called Wreath.
And she overcomes a struggle.
It's a Christmas miracle.
She sheds the speech impediment.
It's really nice.
I mean, I gave away the ending, but you should watch it anyway. It's Wreath.
Yeah, Wreath.
Okay.
Is it R-E-E-T-H or is it spelled like Wreath?
I don't even know.
I think there's like three E's in it or something.
Carolina, should they rest the last two games no way
not that team let them play it out they're having fun yeah they're all having fun having a good time
yeah cam newton has pretty much reached don't bet against me status yeah i know of of like far
back in the day and manning in his prime and a little bit of Brady.
Even though Denver, not Denver, who'd they play?
Giants.
The Giants did cover the plus five.
I'm almost shocked they didn't win that game.
That's a game they win, right?
The Giants?
Usually they win that one.
Well, what's interesting is they put up 35 and they dropped two touchdowns.
Beckham dropped a touchdown and Rodgers Cromartie dropped a touchdowns yeah beckham dropped touchdown and rogers cromarty dropped touchdown but if you had the giants money line and cam gets the ball back 35 35 with like two plus minutes left you just feel like he's gonna go down right you know like he's just gonna go down and get
points yeah you know hey he's reached that point i haven't seen him in that situation well i guess
against the saints we did i know we've talked about this before but i don't understand how
guys like ted gin jr are making these catches over the middle and stuff crazy it's crazy he's he was awful for
years how many teams was he on like at least two or three how many we talked we said to how many
fantasy teams he was on this year oh yeah eight teams picked him up and dropped him and doug
baldwin got dropped at least a couple times in right? If you have Jalen Baldwin, that's the other thing with fantasy.
Like, those are two.
Are they top five fantasy receivers now?
Baldwin, definitely the last five, six weeks.
He's probably number one.
Yeah, I was looking at Brady's the only quarterback with a chance for 5,000 yards and 40 TDs.
And he's not going to win MVP.
Like, Cam just ran away with it yesterday.
Cam's got 3,400 yards, which is right where Brady is.
33 touchdowns, 10 picks.
Brady has 35 touchdowns?
Brady's got, I think, 35 and 6.
This shocked me, though.
Remember all the people spending money for running backs in our league?
Yeah.
Right now, 14 games, two games left for everybody.
Only three running backs have 1,000 yards.
Doug Martin.
Yeah.
Freeman.
No.
Freeman other than him.
No.
AP.
Oh, yeah.
AP.
And your boy Todd Gurley.
Yeah, Gurley made it, yeah.
Only three.
Wow.
And then I was looking up stats today.
I thought this was going to be more fun,
but there really aren't that many amazing stats.
But this one amazed me.
Jacksonville's kicker has missed seven PATs.
Is that Myers?
Jason Myers.
He's 31 for 38 on PATs.
And he's 24 of 28 on field goals.
He's doing better on field goals than PATs.
That is bizarre.
That's weird.
Yeah.
Gostkowski, 30 for 32 on field goals.
This yesterday.
49 for 49 on PATs.
That's nice.
Pretty good.
That's how it should be.
He's got to be like a top 10 MVP candidate.
You know how much I hate QBR?
Yeah, right.
Really the dumbest stat of all time.
A couple stats for you.
Tyrod Taylor is seventh in QBR and Cam Newton's 8th.
So right there, you just throw the stat out, right?
You just retire it at that point.
Teddy Bridgewater is 10th.
Tom Brady is 13th.
But the other one is a bad one, too, right?
But this QBR was the one that was supposed to fix quarterback rating.
It's Tyrod Taylor ahead of Cam Newton.
Yeah, that's bad.
That's bad. Let's retire QBR. Because what do they do? head of cam newton yeah that's bad that's bad let's
retire qbr because what do they do they reward shorter passes that's i don't know what they do
but at some point charlie batch had the greatest qbr game of all time and now it's been wiped from
the greatest qbr games right if you go to that page it's not there anymore it's not there yeah
he was like had two picks in the game he had the hit best QBR. Dumbest stat in a while.
What else do we have?
Let's just go to the games.
All right, let's do it.
Before we go to the games, I wanted to mention HBO because they were nice enough to give me my own television show that launches next spring.
Thank you, HBO.
You don't need cable or satellite to watch HBO anymore.
Just download the HBO Now app.
Start your free one-month trial today.
And Sal, 12daysofHBONow.com.
A little holiday promotion they did.
Every day you can send friends and family members
the premiere episode of a famous HBO show for free.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's nice.
Yeah.
Entourage.
You can send entourage.
Like that?
What was the entourage when Kimmel was on?
It was early on. It was like the fourth or fifth show right
Yeah yeah they were in our green room
But it ended up not being our green room
Remember they ended up
For some reason they decided
A different green room was more Hollywoodish
But meanwhile our green room was more
Exciting than the green room they had in the show
Yeah that was bizarre
I don't even remember the thing, what the premise was.
I'll never forget.
I was doing some ESPN event with Jesse Palmer right after he was the bachelor,
but he was still doing football.
And we were kind of talking, and he was talking about how he did Kimmel Show,
and I was talking about our work there.
And he was like like he said something like
yeah that was some green room
you guys had
and I said yeah hopefully that won't
become the show's legacy
and there was this pause and he goes
I think it might
yeah with
Jesse Palmer 13 years
how dare you
take that Jesse Palmer Aaron Paul used to sneak into you? How dare you? Yeah, take that, Jesse Palmer.
He's concussed.
Aaron Paul used to sneak into the green room.
I think he was like 18 years old.
Really?
Yeah, he talked about it on the show.
All right, week 16.
All right, now how are we doing this?
People like the format from last week.
Yeah, yeah, I sent you a whole bunch.
I like it.
And they want, but they want the...
They want it to be separated from.
Special games.
The Thursday, Saturday, the Sunday, Monday.
So.
Okay.
Let's carve the Thursday, Saturday first.
Thursday is Raiders Chargers in Oakland.
God, this is a horrible game.
There's literally nothing at stake in this game.
And who knows if like a lot of the Chargers are still at the stadium signing autographs.
Eric Waddell's still there. I don't know if they're gonna make it out to Oakland yeah by Thursday I feel bad for the people of San Diego I did too but at the same time
every home game I watched this year had 25,000 fans of the other team and perfect weather almost
all year long yeah so Raiders I have Raiders minus four over the Chargers and you're gonna
you always do this to me.
You nick me by a half a point, and then you're on your way.
I said three and a half.
Five and a half is the spread.
Derek Carr was a little shaky yesterday, first half.
He was.
Had a couple of bad plays.
That was weird.
That looked like a game the Raiders could steal.
The Packers was my best bet on TV and I was scared
and they and Carr had a great drive to end the half they had no business scoring there and he
did and then they just fell apart in the second half have you ever had a fantasy team where even
though none of the guys know each other and are not on the same team you feel like they're all
in some sort of conspiracy to screw you over yeah right like the Packers got inside the 10-yard
line at least four times.
And the first time, Rogers, I'm like,
just can you throw a two-yard touchdown to the tight end, just please?
Hand off to Kuhn for the touchdown.
Kuhn!
Just like, thanks, that's my four points out the window.
And then three other times he goes down there, he's throwing.
James Jones catches one at one point, gets called back for OPI.
I mean, it was just textbook
Amazing I don't even think he
Threw a touchdown inside the 10
He might have had one
I blacked out as I was watching
I was so upset
And then I'm going against Roethlisberger
And the Broncos take the big lead
Of course he's going to have 270 yards
I hate fantasy football so much
Let's just not do it.
I just hate it.
I just don't know what's fun about it.
Well, let's find out who won the league,
and we'll just write them a check at the end.
It's so much easier.
Fair.
It's $500 and peace of mind.
It's worth it.
Saturday is actually a good game.
This is good.
Yeah.
NFC East on the line in Philly.
Washington at Philly.
And what do you say?
I was not impressed with Philadelphia last night.
Really?
Yeah.
You saw a different game than I did.
They didn't look good.
They gave up big plays, running and passing,
and they looked discombobulated.
And St. Bradford had that look on his face that I don't like,
that I've wagered on him in the past.
He gets that look, you know you're going to lose.
I think there's only a few teams they could beat.
That's the kind of team that can only be a few,
like the Patriots and all the other Patriots that they get three return
touchdowns.
And they weren't beating a high powered team like Arizona.
I said minus four here.
I said Eagles by two and a half.
I get this.
It's three and a half.
I just want to say I took the Eagles last night because I was so tired of taking the
favorite, laying three and a half, four, four and a half, and then losing on the late touchdown.
I was like, I've just had it.
I'm just taking the underdog and getting the cheap cover.
And then they win by 23.
I loved Arizona because all the late afternoon favorites covered, right?
Didn't they?
Yeah.
San Diego you wouldn't take, but Pittsburgh, which was
ridiculous. That was a ridiculous cover.
Yeah. If you took Denver
in that game, which I did, and wagered
on them. You would. Yeah, I don't feel
like I lost. I just feel like it got
stolen from me. Green Bay was a win. All those late
games, yeah. So now we go to Sunday.
There's four meaningless
games. These are four games with nothing
at stake. there's no reason
to watch them unless you have a gambling problem or unless you're in the fantasy finals and that's
it those are the only two reasons right go ahead Lions 49ers San Francisco at Detroit
I have the Lions by three and a half oh is that too low yeah said six. It's seven and a half. I just don't think you could give too many.
Gotta say, the Niners' defense didn't look bad yesterday.
Yeah.
They were in that game for a while, for sure.
The Bengals had 24 points total,
and I don't think they didn't really have any long drives.
It was all, like, field position stuff or turnovers.
I didn't know what to make of that
mccarron they took you say managed the game like it seems like that's exactly what he did barely
under 200 yards didn't throw in they didn't ask him to do anything right i think they're in trouble
this week it's a perfect game for them unless they were hiding him because they didn't want
to tip off to denver what's going on green only played half the game yeah eifert didn't play which
was great for me because i got to start luke wilson in my fantasy
nice playoffs he he had one catch for like five yards we're not doing it next year don't worry
about it uh that's a terrible game please don't watch that game this this next game is a little
more watchable bill's cowboys cowboys at bills yeah yep i have bills in buffalo by four and a half. I hit this exactly. The Bills are favored by six.
No, that's right.
That's right.
You look at the Bills.
First of all,
the Bills have lost
four of their last five.
They should be better.
They're giving up points,
which doesn't make sense to me.
Gave up
34 to the Jags,
34 to the Bengs, 34 to the Bengals.
Gave up 35 to the Redskins, the professional football team of Washington.
30 to the Chiefs.
There's no pass rush.
You give up 30 points five times out of seven times, that's your defense stinks.
No pass rush and lots of penalties all the time.
But they have good defensive players in that team. They a good line they have they drafted a good cornerback i
don't get it i don't get it either and and and you think sexy rexy would have them in a good spot at
this point but i'm looking at um now these tickets with the uh over unders for wins how about if you
have the bills at eight eight and a half wins depending on when you got it. Going crazy. Yeah, you're losing that bet now.
Six and eight.
They're six and eight.
Sad.
Rex Ryan reminds me of when his dad got the job after the Philly job.
Didn't he get one more job?
Yes.
He coached like Houston or somebody?
Buddy Ryan coached somebody.
Tate, will you look that up for us?
He had some sort of job after the Philly job.
After Philly.
And it was like, oh, Buddy Ryan.
And it was like he was just terrible.
It was somebody.
AFC.
Houston.
Right.
I think Rex is done in like a year and a half.
Although they paid him a lot of money.
Yeah, that's tough to give up.
I think fans get excited about him if he can get it together.
They're going to be excited watching him on a studio show in nine months.
Listen, he has Kellen Moore this week. He's going to be excited watching him on a studio show in nine months. Listen, he has Kellen Moore
this week. He's going to be... He has his
hands full, that defense. Alright,
Bucks and Bears is next.
Ooh.
Don't know what happened
to the Bears. Why were the Bears
frisky for about four weeks there? I liked them this
week, too. I don't know what happened. Cutler
had that bad body language thing going again
in Minnesota, just like from the get-go. Not that that loss was his fault happened. Cutler had that bad body language thing going again in Minnesota. Just like from
the get-go. Not that that loss was his fault,
but they just had that stink
look to them. Really from
the get-go. Minnesota dominated that
game. Every time I looked over, I had
it on that TV over there. Every time I
looked over, Minnesota had the ball. They had the ball, right?
Yeah, and Cutler was getting pressured.
I said Tampa Bay 2.5.
I had Bucks by 3.5. I'm going to split it. It's 3. Yeah. Yeah, and Cutler's getting pressured. I said Tampa Bay 2.5. I have Bucks by 3.5.
We're going to split it.
It's 3.
Yeah.
Yeah, no reason to watch that.
I don't know.
Are there even fantasy guys you'd have in that game?
Doug Martin.
You might have the number one rusher in football, Doug Martin.
That's it.
That's it.
Next game, Saints home for the Jaguars.
I've turned on Bortles like 15 times this year.
I think I'm out on him again.
Which way?
You're turning the bad way?
I'm out again.
Yeah.
He just makes terrible passes sometimes.
Yeah.
Like really awful.
The pass before halftime yesterday was really particularly atrocious.
At this point, you can't lose to the reeling Falcons.
It drops your stock a lot.
Falcons were dying to give away that game and fire the front office and do the whole thing.
And now everybody's got to stick around.
I have the Saints by four.
You're going to get this.
I said five.
It's three and a half.
Now we have five games.
I'm going to label these meaningfully unwatchable.
So it involves a bad team and a team that...
Has something at stake.
Yes.
Some of these have two bad teams.
But all right, go ahead.
Texans-Titans?
Titans are home for the Texans.
The Titans are horrendous.
Yeah.
They're so poorly coached.
What do you think of that game, though?
The Patriots?
The Pats?
You thought they'd beat them up more.
They just wanted to get out.
Did you see our running backs? I know.
We had some dude I've never heard of from the practice squad.
He wasn't bad. He was taking all...
Brandon Bolden was another guy I started in fantasy.
I was like, oh, please, let this guy
with all these vowels in his name that I've never heard of.
Can you take
all Brandon Bolden's points, please?
Coach Belichick screwed you in a way.
Yeah, he hates fantasy football.
He's always done this.
I have the Texans laying three points.
Well, I said the same thing, so it's not going to matter,
but there's no line on this.
There's no line.
T.J. Yates blew out his knee, though, right?
Yates is done.
I don't know what they're waiting.
Oh, I guess Mariota versus, who was in there?
Oh, Mettenberger?
Yeah.
Well, isn't it Brian Hoyer might come back for this one?
Hoyer might come back.
There's a lot of them.
Brian Hoyer's QBR is almost exactly Tom Brady's QBR right now.
Is that right?
Yeah, Tom Brady's 13th, Brian Hoyer's 14th.
QBR is a great stat.
Maybe Brady's overrated.
This is what I've been saying for years.
I know there's been at least seven times this year where I was debating Tom Brady and Brian Hoyer like who's been better this
year it's tough it's tough to figure it out if the Jets I was thinking about this if the Jets
were somehow to sneak in and I don't know what happened wasn't it if the Jets went out and the
Steelers went out the Jets are in now somehow it flipped yeah the Steelers jumped them and I was
like nope that's it the Jets they need some help they need real help they're like did they not beat
the Cowboys convincingly enough for the committee?
I don't get what's going on.
Everyone kept winning, but somehow the Steelers leapfrogged them.
I noticed that today.
I think they were just like, the Steelers are too good.
We've got to give them this spot.
But anyway, if the Jets were to make the playoffs, the AFC quarterbacks, Tom Brady, excellent.
Could be McCarron.
Help me out here.
Brandon Whedon.
Brandon Whedon. Roethlisberger. Well, no, no. If the Jets made it over Roethlisberger, it would be McCarron. Help me out here. Brandon Whedon. Brandon Whedon.
Roethlisberger.
Well, no, no.
Alex Smith.
If you just made it over Roethlisberger, it would be McCarron, Fitzpatrick.
Alex Smith.
Alex Smith.
Who am I missing?
Brandon Whedon.
Brandon Whedon.
Or Brian Hoyer.
And McCarron.
And McCarron.
Yeah.
And Brady.
Osweiler.
And Osweiler.
That was it.
Are you kidding? Osweiler could giveweiler That was it Are you kidding?
Osweiler can give you a good half
Oh man
Second half he tails off
Second half he hasn't scored in a month
I just don't think
Yeah
I don't think you could sling with Roethlisberger
I don't think you can
I don't blame Osweiler 100% for what happened yesterday
Because his guys were dropping passes and all that stuff.
But the play calling, I thought, was particularly horrendous.
It was bad.
They just seemed like it was just, hey, Brock,
just keep rolling back and throwing.
And then he looked scared in the fourth quarter.
I actually thought the moment got to him a little bit.
He had happy feet and the whole thing. He was scared that we had him plus six and a half he was scared he wasn't you see
manning stink eyeing him from the sidelines he was so happy i kept waiting for them to cut to manning
and just him pumping his fist after the next osweiler incompletion they should teach a clinic
on how backup quarterbacks or whoever on sideline quarterbacks have to react i like that he got
upset about the story that he didn't want to be a backup qb yeah but meanwhile why would he want to be a backup qb just say it yeah so
that's ridiculous blah blah blah it's like i totally want to be a backup qb this is a dream
of mine for years i say it in the papa john's commercials he shows out he's on the sidelines
and osweiler is just it's freaking him out yeah it him out. It's like Godfather 2 and
Frankie Five Fingers, his cousin comes from Italy.
He's just staring him down.
He's like, ah.
Yeah, that's
that wasn't his fault though, Osweiler.
That's supposed to be a great defense.
I just think the Steelers are just
going to have to score 35 to beat them.
Are we sure Denver's defense
is a great defense?
Can we bury that narrative now?
I don't know what we could do with it because the Steelers just might be top notch.
I mean, they have three receivers who can catch 10 balls a game and they run the ball
well.
Yeah.
What's our next game?
Dolphins home for Colts.
God.
Did you see Hasselbeck?
One of my rare victories of this year is calling the Hasselbeck falling apart,
his body falling apart two weeks ago.
He basically told, there was some story on one of the websites today
about Hasselbeck's just like, I'm done.
I got nothing left.
Right.
I'm just physically beaten completely.
I have zero left.
Please don't play me again.
And then he plays.
My body's broken.
I mean, no one looks more dead when they're injured than Hasselbeck.
He does the snow angel thing.
He's completely spread out on his back.
And then he comes back.
I like him because he reacts to those hits exactly how I would react.
Right, exactly.
He's like, oh!
Same thing.
Oh, my God!
I need to lay here?
Yeah.
Can you play around me?
Oh, my God!
Meanwhile, they're done now indianapolis there's no spread
there's no line on this because i would have dolphins by two and a half i think ryan tanhill
if he was an nba player we'd be thinking about him going to china or why the euro league or
something they might need a new league i know when you go into san diego and that team has given up
right and their fans are sad
because it's the last game and you just lay a stink bomb like come on right yeah that was bad
i had high hopes for the dolphins too uh chiefs home for the browns oh you know they're just
gonna keep winning i'm gonna cheat here i i wrote down 10 and a half but the more i'm looking at i
think it's higher i'm to have Chiefs by 13.
Come on, man. You can't do that.
I don't know. Tay, can he do that?
I said 12, and it's 12.5,
so we split it.
I don't know why I wrote 10.5. I should have
written 13.
Who sent you the line between the time you wrote it
down? I looked at it, and I made a mistake,
and I audibled it.
That's fine. I don't know
what the Chiefs did to get this cake schedule for the last four months.
It's an incredible schedule.
Did Andy Reid order a cake schedule?
I know he likes cake.
Did he order a cake schedule?
Because this is ridiculous that they're going to win 11 in a row, maybe, if they win a playoff game.
They caught the Steelers without Roethlisberger, right?
Mm-hmm.
Lions, Broncos in quarterback flux oh that was when manning's last week when he fell apart chargers bills right as they were
falling apart raiders chargers ravens yeah it's amazing so now they go if they play
they'll be the team we're betting heavy in the first. It's funny.
We always want to bet against Alex Smith, and now that's going to be our biggest bet.
The five versus four.
Alex Smith at Brandon Weed.
I'm not putting a big bet on Andy Reid.
I thought you said we're betting against Brandon Weed, and that's what we have to do.
I think Andy Reid cancels him out.
It's just since the playoffs, you can't put big money on Andy Reid.
You just can't. we have 25 years of
experience the chiefs in week five favored by nine and a half in one of the biggest gambling
meltdowns we've seen this year lost the game by one point on a last second field goal to the lousy
bears and if they had won that game right they'd be in striking distance for a two seed. For a bye.
Yeah.
I guess I'm assuming now that they're not winning the division, which they actually could now if Denver lost.
So would we put more money on the Chiefs at the Texans or the Broncos at the Texans?
Broncos.
Broncos.
Yeah.
So that's what we root for.
Andy Reid, I think, has a cap.
There's a gambling cap.
No, come on.
How many times has he burned people?
I know.
I know.
It's bad.
All right.
Oh, and then Steelers at Baltimore.
Yeah, Ravens are home for this.
I can't tell you how awful it was to be going against the fantasy defense that was going against
Jimmy Claussen.
Because basically you're rooting for Jimmy Claussen.
And it's one of the worst feelings
that you can have
in fake fantasy football life.
I have the Steelers
laying nine and a half
to Baltimore. I think that's too low. I said nine and a half
also. It's ten and a half. It is too low.
So we're going to have to tease this with somebody.
Chiefs.
Put a few of them together.
So
the Ravens are terrible.
And you look at
this game and you go,
well, divisional matchup.
No way. Though the Ravens aren't going to let the Steelers
come in and walk all over them. I actually feel
the opposite. I think the Steelers are going to walk all over them and score 45 points.
There might be some pride in there, but don't the Ravens have like the 30th pass defense or something?
Well, the next game we have is the Seahawks and the Rams, which is going to be another high line.
And I'm wondering if...
This is a late afternoon game.
I know we banned ourselves from doing three-team teasers,
but I'm really wondering if Chiefs home for the Browns,
Steelers at Baltimore, and Seattle home for the Rams,
how we don't parlay those three.
Who screws us, the Rams?
Maybe.
Case Keenum?
I don't think so.
That might make you sweat a little.
Are you worried it was all chalk yesterday?
Like it was so easy to pick the big favorites.
Usually 14, 15, or 16, one of those weeks gets super duper wonky.
And it was not week 15.
Right.
So week 16, maybe.
Maybe the Browns beat the Chiefs.
Who's the Ravens quarterback?
Is Schaub back?
It's Clausen, isn't it, still?
Is Schaub coming back, though? I don't know. Who would want to come back for this? Can they quarterback? Is Shaw back? It's Clawson, isn't it, still? Is Shaw coming back, though?
I don't know.
Who'd want to come back for this?
Can they bring Trent Dofer back?
He can drop some Dofer dimes?
No, I think it should be Matt Castle.
He could lead him to the playoffs.
Oh, God.
I have the Seahawks laying 11 to the Rams.
Hey, it went a little low.
I said 13.
It's 13 and a half.
That's too high.
The Rams like playing the Seahawks in the cards.
Baldwin is unstoppable.
He has 10 touchdowns in four weeks.
Oh, stop it.
He's unstoppable.
He's like the best receiver in the league now.
The Rams, they lost to the Cards by two.
They beat the Seahawks by three.
And then they got their asses kicked by the Cardinals. They beat the Seahawks by three. And then they got their asses kicked by the Cardinals.
They beat the Seahawks.
They beat the Seahawks.
In week one, though.
Yeah, they're not going to beat them twice.
Okay.
That's it.
All right, now we move to the watchable games, of which there are two.
Falcons home for Panthers.
Before we do this, can Can I You have to read something
Yeah just quickly
I just want to remind people
They can subscribe to this podcast
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For the Bill Simmons podcast
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What did he say What did about the Corolla podcast.
What did he say?
What did he say Corolla got?
800?
I think so.
800,000? You know, this is going to be a crazy Reddit thread.
Oh, yeah.
We'll back off.
Mike August.
God bless Mike August.
Mike August.
He's a good hype man.
Took you two cigarette breaks to get through that one.
You're not liking that.
Good hype man uh don't
forget to subscribe to the channel 33 podcast that features pop culture pods and interviews
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You know, another thing with the podcast,
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I want you to know what you have to look forward to.
Now, I don't expect high accommodations because I'm here every week,
but now Bill's got a nice, what is that? A lemonade drink you have for yourself?
Kavita.
Yeah.
Tate, look what I have here.
Look at this.
Water that apple.
That's disgusting.
Why is that in there?
That's for my daughter.
It's for my daughter yesterday.
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My daughter came in yesterday to watch football with me.
She has this leftover iPhone that we rigged so that basically she could just text with it.
Okay.
And all these kids in fifth grade now text.
And there's a fifth grade text.
And there's a lot of texting going on.
I feel like it's starting.
Really?
I'm scared.
She wasn't watching football?
No, she was not.
We have this rule.
Like she only gets to use that phone under like we get to look at it, all that stuff.
We have the same with Microsoft.
But now, yeah, now there's boys texting her and I don't know.
So you have to be careful because there's an app where you could hide pictures.
Do you know about this?
It's called Ghost something. I'll find out and i'll let you know about it but it's bad
it's bad i think all of this is bad yeah i know is it weird that i've had to have three different
conversations where one-sided she doesn't say anything where i'm just like you you can never
mail anyone a picture or video you're like you realize that right she's 10 and a half she's like no dad i'd
never do that but yeah it just seems like from probably age 12 on they're just probably working
help me picture what are you wearing right now it's just we're in a bad spot i would reprimand
leaving this core apple and this glass that's worse to me than any picture she could send okay
um what do we have here? We have the watchables.
We have four games left.
These are the best four games of week 16.
Oh, Panthers-Falcons.
Yeah, we said this.
Falcons are the two best Sunday afternoon games.
I have the Panthers by six in Atlanta.
This isn't even actually that great of a game,
but I think the Panthers going undefeated makes it a great game.
I think I'm going to beat you this week.
I said seven and a half, and it's's seven and i don't see them losing i know
there's a possibility they get tripped up but i like this team i do i just our thing is are we
sure they're good are we sure they're great they have i think they're great they have four or five
killer defensive guys just great great great top of great top-of-the-line defensive guys.
I saw some list.
I was reading.
I think it was on MMQB.
The guy had his awards, and it was like the 10 defensive players of the year.
And I think like four of them were Carolina guys.
Yeah, that makes sense.
It was like the tackle, the cornerback, two of the linebackers.
Like that team.
And then Cam is.
I think Cam's the best quarterback in the league.
I love Tom Brady, but Cam's just...
The way he can create plays with his legs when nothing's there.
Pretty amazing.
And he's turned Greg Olson into Gronk.
Greg Olson's stats are basically the same as Gronk's,
except for he's like four touchdowns fewer.
But his yards are the same.
He's getting into Randy Moss somehow.
Yeah, they run the same.
It's just that it's the old Madden play,
or just the straight line play.
That's really all they run with him.
But he either gets a pass interference or catches it,
or it's incomplete.
Right.
They're good.
I'm excited about the playoffs.
You like Carolina.
I think there are six in the range of very good to great.
And not like all-time great, but great.
I think.
They're all in the NFC.
No, no, no.
I think the Chiefs and Steelers and Patriots.
Oh, come on, the Chiefs.
Why not?
No.
Someone come close to them before you could say anything.
Come on.
Those three.
Stop it.
Seattle, Carolina, Arizona.
Excellent.
I think Green Bay is better than the Chiefs.
If Green Bay and the Chiefs are on a neutral field, you'd take the Chiefs?
I think so.
Really?
Green Bay takes three and a half quarters for their running game to get going.
I don't trust them at all.
I don't trust the Chiefs, though.
All right.
I wouldn't put the Chiefs in there.
I'm telling you, I just think it's going to be a good play.
Like, the best.
What would be better than Arizona?
I know people want to see Seattle in there, but Arizona, Carolina, New England, Pittsburgh
is a great final four.
I'm so sad that you're going to load up on the Chiefs against the Texans.
I can already see one of the worst gambling moments of your life happening.
It's just looming.
Let it be.
The Chiefs are laying like seven and a half in Houston.
You're like, this is great.
I have them in seven Moneyline teasers.
I have faith in the NFL.
Oh, my God.
They're not going to let me down here.
I'm going to have to ask a reader to mail like the 12 worst Andy Reid playoff moments to me.
And then I could just forward it to you and maybe you'll back off.
Brandon Whedon against Andy Reid.
So we think the Panthers.
There's a lot of good teams in potential.
I don't trust Atlanta.
There's no way Julio Jones just runs a mock in this game
and Freeman breaks a 78-yard touchdown
and all of a sudden the Panthers are down 13 in the first half.
I hate this Atlanta team.
Just for, like, I don't trust them.
But I'm just asking.
I'll tell you, if they hadn't beaten the Jaguars I'd be more
afraid of the Falcons
I think people would be like
the Panthers would probably be favored by 10 or 9 or 10
I'm taking the Panthers
I think the Falcons stink
this is a good one though
this is possibly a second round playoff
matchup Cardinals
home for the Packers
I have the cards by 4.5.
It's a late afternoon game. Yep, we both had 4.5
and that's what it is.
I want to make a point about this game.
It's very important.
So if this is on a neutral field,
what's the line?
Cards by 3.5?
3? Yeah, I guess.
So you get an extra point for being at home?
There's going to be like 30,000 Packer fans in this of this game yeah you think yeah arizona's had a real
problem that there was a story about it like a week ago or two weeks ago about how many fans
have been going to the how many opposing fans have been at their games huh this 30 000 oh i think
it'll be so what do they have 80 000 i000? I think it's 40% Packer fans.
Wow.
I guess it's around the holidays and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
I know Arizona's better.
It's going to be a sad crowd.
And look at this.
Think about the playoff running backs and the teams I just mentioned.
Arizona, Carolina, Seattle.
Could be David Johnson, Christine Michael, Cameron Artis Payne.
It's very weird what's going on in the NFL with quarterbacks and running backs.
Cameron Artis Payne sounds like he's one of the actors on one of the shows our kids would watch.
He's like, and Richie Rich, they're on Cameron Artis Payne.
Cameron Artis Payne.
Couldn't even say it.
Cameron Artis Payne.
Thomas Rawls is 10th in the league in rushing right now.
He broke his ankle two weeks ago. He didn't start the year. He's 10th, right? He is 10th in the league in rushing right now. He broke his ankle two weeks ago.
He didn't start the year. He's 10th. He's 10th in rushing. I thought he should have been rookie of the year.
He started like three games.
That's bad. Alright, the night games.
These are two good night games.
Turns out the flex was a good idea.
Yep. The Giants somewhere along the line
won a game that NBC decided
to keep them on Sunday night.
The Vikings are home for the Giants,
probably without Odell Beckham.
Al, I'm just so disappointed in Odell Beckham.
I am just so disappointed in him, Al.
This is the biggest game of their year, Al.
That's just not a fair fight, Al.
I have...
This is going to change if Beckham doesn't play,
but let's assume he...
I read this assuming he does.
Well, he'll appeal it, right?
Yeah, but they're going to get it all out of the way by Wednesday.
Oh, I'm sure.
I mean, they did so well with Deflategate.
It's like 12 months of Deflategate.
I had the Vikings by four.
That's exactly what I said.
All right, so it won't matter.
And it is four.
I don't know.
I guess we should trust this Viking team more.
Is Coughlin getting too much crap for not sitting Beckham?
Like, you're going to lose your job if you don't make the playoffs.
You're probably going to lose it anyway.
The refs didn't throw him out of the game.
Why would you have to?
Your only hope down three touchdowns is for Beckham to go crazy.
Coughlin has ran the Giants this year like a substitute teacher would run a fifth grade class who's like 80 years old.
And they're like, oh, the old guys are teachers.
But the students love it.
Students are totally happy.
They almost set a fire at recess.
Right, they did.
Yeah, he's just been terrible this year.
Yeah, there's whoopee cushions every week.
But no, he claims to be a disciplinarian.
That's why they're getting on his case.
But I don't care.
They had to win that game.
Leave Beckham in there.
Also seems like, what is that, five times now they've lost in the last 20 seconds?
Oh, yeah. There's some stat like that? Five times now they've lost in the last 20 seconds? Oh, yeah.
There's some stat like that?
The last 10 seconds?
There was something like...
There would have been like 10 and 2
if the game ended 75 seconds before it did.
It's like something crazy.
It could be time.
Look, Florida has some nice properties.
That's probably it.
That's probably it.
All right, and then this is a big one.
Monday night, somehow ESPN gets this game.
Cincinnati at Denver. That's the first good Monday night football this is a big one. Monday night, somehow ESPN gets this game. Cincinnati at Denver.
That's the first good Monday night football game in a long time.
Something's got to happen, right?
This is going to get flexed until next week or something.
The NFL just flexed it this Sunday afternoon.
I have the Broncos by four.
I said four as well.
It's three and a half, and I beat your ass this week.
Congratulations.
Yeah, finally. Eight, three, week. Congratulations. Yeah, finally.
Eight, three, six, seven.
Oh, yeah.
Wasn't even close.
McCarron Osweiler.
Tate likes Osweiler.
He texts me when things are going well for Osweiler.
Really?
He texts me excitedly.
Yeah, he's in on Osweiler.
What do you say, Tate?
Why?
He just 6'8 and hilarious.
And one of my friends is our quarterback and he was our we called him Oswald
for like three years really
someone's got a crush over that since Tate doesn't
have a mic Tate said he's 6'8 and hilarious
and has a friend who reminded him
of Oswald oh I forgot we could have made something up
even worse than that yeah
I forgot he didn't have a mic Tate said he's a good kisser
Houston
I forgot to mention this in the worst
four seed of all time conversation
they've only scored 275 points in 14 games they haven't even averaged 20 points a game
how did they win that game the Colts dominated that I was in Texas watching a sports bar so that
game was front and center they're up 10 nothing dominating both sides of the ball and here comes
Brandon Whedon and now i'm reading stuff
like that's where you need brandon whedon he can't start games he comes in he's the closer like what
he's running for third down conversions all this garbage brandon whedon uh so bad we have one last
thing to discuss what is it the incredible miss universe thing last night i only read about it
you only read about it yeah well only read about it? Yeah.
You watched it?
I mean, I saw the moment.
It blew up online.
Right.
I saw the moment. I saw it on Twitter.
And then they showed it here.
They showed the West Coast version.
Right.
So I watched it on YouTube.
But then my wife and I were, and my daughter, who was also very excited about it, we actually
watched it.
Yeah, she filled every glass in the house with apple cores. five more apple cores in the glasses it is amazing it's an amazing five
minutes tell what it say what happened harvey says the wrong name steve he announces that miss
columbia wins it they put the crown on her she cries she walks around for two minutes or she's
about to walk yeah she does walk
around two minutes then they cut this angle like behind and they harvey walks out and it's like
he's been shot he almost like staggers out on the stage lee harvey yeah steve harvey oswald
and he like staggers out.
Right.
And he's like, there's been a mistake.
The first runner up is Miss Columbia.
And then they cut to the beautiful Philippines contestant.
Right. I think the most surprising thing was that she just didn't win.
Like Steve Harvey should have just known.
She was amazing.
You have to give it to her.
And she's just like, what happened?
What? And she comes out. And everyone's standing known. Like she was amazing. You have to give it to her. And she's just like, what happened? What?
And she comes out and everyone's standing there and it's confusing.
And, and he tells her to take her walk, but the other one has the crown and they're just
all standing there awkwardly.
And then Steve Harvey is like, I'm going to take control of this.
It's like, yeah, you should.
You're the host.
You're the one who messed this up.
And he's showing the card.
And then finally they pulled the crown off her and she goes for the walk.
And the show just ended.
And it was at one point.
It's going to start a war between the countries, right?
The Philippines and Colombia.
That would be a bad war.
I don't think they like each other anyway.
Yeah, that's a lot of distance for the plants.
But at one point he goes, let's not let this take away from a great night.
Of course not.
This is the biggest disaster in awards history.
Now I'm wondering, could they have told him to do that intentionally?
Conspiracy Bill.
It just causes too many problems.
Would we ever talk about Miss Universe under any other snare unless somebody's dress fell or something?
No, no.
Unless someone answers a question in a stupid way or something like this happens.
But this is the first year Trump isn't doing it, right?
Yeah.
So he's loving this.
Oh, he loves this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Poor Steve Harvey.
I don't know.
Steve Harvey Oswald.
I don't think Richard Dawson would have done it this way.
The other Family Feud host.
He was in control.
Richard Dawson.
The best part was Magic tweeted about how great Steve Harvey was doing as a host.
Oh, that's great.
And then like 15 minutes later had to do another tweet after the whole thing about how Steve Harvey...
Everyone makes mistakes.
He had to take away four exclamation points.
Delete exclamation points from the last tweet.
It was one of the great moments in Twitter history. Yeah really is uh out of control anything else i'm gonna talk about
he should have to marry that girl marry miss columbia yeah whoever got screwed over my wife
said it was the worst thing that's ever happened what yeah wow yeah supplanting uh all wars
tragedies everything that's great she said it was
absolutely the worst thing that's ever happened another bad thing is we're running repeats on
jimmy kim alive and we're on a well well well deserved hiatus but watch anyway snoop dog
donald trump quentin tarantino rick ross all your favorites are on uh at some point this week
i'm on twitter at the cousin sal sports center i'm on this Wednesday night. I reveal what's going to be my seventh consecutive winning best bet,
12-3 on the year, 24-6 overall.
That's pretty good.
12-3 is good.
Come on, man.
You sweated out the Packer win this week.
Yeah, I thought I was going to lose for sure.
12-3 is good, though.
That's win.
You're winning money for people.
Thanks, Bill.
Appreciate it.
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The Cuz, good job by you.
Good job by you, Billy.
We about this, bitch.
Anytime y'all want to see me again, rewind this track right here.
Close your eyes.
And picture me rolling.