The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 55: Round 3 Rehash w/ Cousin Sal

Episode Date: January 25, 2016

HBO's Bill Simmons brings on Cousin Sal to reflect on Pats-Broncos, importance of home-field advantage (13:00), discuss Bill's all-time Pats list and worst Pats losses ever (16:00), the Sheriff's final shootout (24:00), shaky Carson Palmer (29:00), Super Bowl 50 line (38:00) and a 'Royal Rumble' review (44:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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that's our title jam session. Subscribe right now on iTunes or SoundCloud or Stitcher or get the latest episodes at bill Simmons podcastonsPodcast.com and sadly we're off. Wow, the cuss. You haven't taken a round three beating like that in a while.

This can't be about me. You're way too chipper about this Monday morning. I don't like this. You know, I feel blessed, Sal. I feel blessed that I wrote for a team that won four Super Bowls. Worried about this. That made the final four five years in a row.

Every year, came down to a couple plays. Sometimes it's just not your day. Sometimes the sheriff just has to come in and get eight first downs over the last three and a half quarters and then get all the credit for beating you. Sometimes that has to come in and get eight first downs over the last three and a half quarters. And then get all the credit for beating you. Sometimes that has to happen.

The sheriff. Did not have a drive over 50 yards the last three and a half quarters. Oh, I believe it. Everybody's like, oh, he did it again. It's like, no, the Broncos defense killed us. Their front four annihilated us. That's why we lost. There are these stats

today brady had these brady got hit like 20 times 23 times 23 times and uh in the last 10 years since they started keeping track of hits it's the record regular season or playoffs right he got annihilated we couldn't block and yet could have won at the end easily right i mean it was so lopsided and and was still your game patriots game at the end yeah we just knew we knew there were red flags with this game wait i called you yesterday um we ended up making a salvage bet on brady completions which we won by a half completion right 26 and a half completion we're gonna do completions attempts and yards all would have hit right all would have hit oh man so um in the moment here's where they lost the game and in the moment i didn't realize it i was fine with it when they went for fourth and one 603 to go right i'm channeling the same play i have it written down yeah they ran the one of the worst fourth

and one plays i've ever seen in my life it was a misdirection lob screen to Edelman who had three guys on him and caught it. 19 things could have gone wrong. Him getting tackled behind the line of scrimmage was the best outcome. Yeah. But I think we rewind it a little bit because I think that's the key play of the game. Because if Amendola doesn't break that tackle, which was crazy. It's fourth and five. You for sure go for a field goal.

As stubborn as Belichick is, you go for a field goal there. But because it's fourth and one, and by the way, he breaks the tackle and then loses his feet. Him losing his feet was as mysterious as him breaking the tackle. So he loses his feet. It becomes fourth and one and a half, and it's just a Belichick way. You're going to go for it. I don't think it's a bad move. I was fine with're gonna go for it i don't think it's a bad and i was fine with it in the moment i think it was a bad move and that pass

might have made it too but brady had people on his face like he did the whole game so he had a lob it and then all of a sudden there are three guys on edelman to block him up behind the line of scrimmage i was fine with it because we needed a touchdown anyway. And I'm like, six minutes left, kick a field goal down five. They can just run the clock out. Because in the game, in the moment, it felt like Denver's offense was doing better than it was. And then I looked at these stats. So Denver had an 83-yard drive to start the game, 11 plays. Here's the rest of their drives.

Three plays, four yards punt. Two plays for minus four yards backward pass that they ruled dead even though it was clearly a backward pass and we were just going to run it in for a touchdown but let's whistle that dead right six plays 41 yards punt three plays for 16 yards td off the von miller interception three for five punt three for minus four punt six for 23 field goal three for minus five punt seven for 34 punt three for minus four punt six for 23 field goal three for minus five punt seven for 34 punt three for minus one punt 10 for 48 field goal three for three punt they're going three for zero punt they're going to super bowl unbelievable but we should have we should have kicked the field

goal our defense was doing great i didn't really totally realize it at the time because nance and sims were you know taking turns with the Manny jerk-off session. Wow. Well, they were. It was like, Jim, your hand's tired? Let me take over for 10 minutes. It's in their contract. One can't hog it. Pete Manning, 160 yards.

Two dropped interceptions and a pass that went backwards and should have been a touchdown. Oh, my God. What a performance. The sheriff. I love the sheriff. He did make two great throws to Daniels. What a performance. The sheriff. I love the sheriff. He did make two great throws to Daniels. That was it.

They burned Jamie Collins twice. And he threw a pass that was a lob up for grabs that Malcolm Butler should have picked. That Sanders, for some reason, jumped a foot higher and caught. I'm getting a lot of responses on Twitter saying that you jinxed the team. Saying we get every kick under 50 yards. I said under 55. Yeah, under 55. And that man doesn't have a wide tight end throw to him.

Yeah, I said both of those things. That's pretty bad. Tate can vouch for this. I almost picked Denver before the Friday podcast. And I was like, Tate, I'm laying out the whole case. I'm just going to own it and try to reverse jinx the hell out of the Broncos and I did the whole case and then at the tail end I was like I screwed I'm gonna pick the past I should just that was bizarre to me because the line was three in most places all week and and every director of every

sports book that was interviewed says we're getting pounded with Patriots money oh my god we're getting killed and then it's like oh well why don't you move it to three and a half? Like, oh, no, no, no. The Sharps will gobble up Denver if we move it to three and a half. It's like, all right, isn't that how business works? Who cares? Don't you want equal size? But anyway, they did eventually move it to three and a half.

And the hour before the game, people pounded the hell out of Denver to a point where you could get New England minus three plus 105 in some places. Yeah. So bizarre betting. Not to sound like Nance, but Sal, we talked about this yesterday on the phone. We did. And I was asking you, was this all a conspiracy by the Sharps to just keep betting New England minus three until it got to three and a half, and then they were going to double their bets

on Denver three and a half? And it seems like that's what happened. I think it is what happened. Vegas, stay away. I don't know. I've been around this game so long, but I still can't figure it out. It did seem like we were headed for, when we missed the extra point, in my head I was like, we're going to win by two,

and Denver's going to cover. I still didn't feel like the Pats were going to lose. I just thought Manny was going to give us the ball like three times. I did feel like you weren't going to get that two-point conversion. Me too. I did too. That's why I thought like the second fourth down, and even though it was just on the other side of two minutes,

maybe kick the field goal there. I was like, ah, this is maybe where he kicked the field goal. It ended up being incomplete to Gronk. You had three guys on him. I'm sure he thought it was pass interference. But if you kick it. Why did I think it was pass interference? Because Tlaib was holding him and pulling him down when he tried to jump.

I don't know. What are my reactions? You throw in triple coverage. A guy better be punched in the face. I'm not against it, but he got interfered with. Right. Okay. No, but here's the thing with Denver.

Playing in Denver, the kickoff is going to go through the upright so they're going to start at the 20 and yeah you have to stop them they get a first down it's over but like you just read the drives were not we're not they weren't lighting the world on fire those drives yeah if we kick the field when we make it which guys guys get missed an extra point so who who knows? We're down five. Six minutes left. Yeah. They start from the 20. We have three timeouts and the two-minute warning. Oh, you're talking about the first one.

I'm talking about the second fourth down that they went for. But yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fourth and one. That one still would have gone. I don't know. Well, at that point, we had to go for it. There was two minutes left.

It was fourth and 10. You had three timeouts. You're saying kick it, punt? Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. That didn't even occur to me. Yeah, yeah. It was still like 210 left or something. So you would have three timeouts. You're saying kick it, punt? Oh, I see what you're saying. That didn't even occur to me. Yeah, yeah. It was still like 210 left or something.

Oh, yeah. It was like 220 left. Denver would have started at the 20. Well, didn't Cincinnati do that in the Pittsburgh game, right? They kicked a field goal when it was like, what the hell are you guys doing? And then it actually worked and they got the ball back and they scored. So that would have been it. Yeah. I don't know. Only because I and they scored. So that would have been it. Yeah.

I don't know. Only because I thought they weren't getting that two-point conversion. But you were very upset. You actually called. You haven't called me all year, and you called me in the middle of the game. I backed out for an hour and a half. You remember this? I don't.

Hold on. I recorded it. You did? We're so lucky I recorded it. Here it is. Cousin Sal, sports-ish guy here. I'm just sipping my fifth Grey Goose and Sunny Delight Jell-O shot here, trying to watch this Pats game. I can't believe my eyes. That cheating juicehead gorilla, Ed Hockley, single-handedly destroying

Tom Twinkle Toe Teletubby Brady's legacy. I don't think the Pats will ever get a fair try on Manitowoc County. Hashtag making a murderer. I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm turning the game off right now. Putting on my favorite new drama. It's about Carson Palmer's career after football. He works in a hardware store in the pick department.

He sells ice picks with Steve DeBerg, Tom Tupa, and Ty Detmer. It streams on random stoplights throughout the city. It's called DeLome Depot. DeLome Depot, you get it? I'm going to go finish watching DeLome Depot. Hopefully the Patriots can overcome these garbage referees. I've had enough of this game. Sports this guy over and out.

Kaskowski, Bojan Bogdanovic. The Lone Depot. The Lone Depot's pretty good. Damn. The Lone Depot is always stuff's falling out of the shelves. Very weird. So, it just was unpatriotic football from the beginning.

Obviously, Brady throwing the picks. He was under siege the whole game. Why did we get the ball to start? That was weird. We never do that, ever. Why are you not bumping receivers at the line of scrimmage? Why on third and eight? That first drive, we're 10 yards back.

Off the ball. Yeah. So many things were strange. We were playing LaFell or Keyshawn Martin. I think they had like 90 snaps combined. He threw to him once. Right. Yeah.

But yet we threw to James White. 16 times. I hate calling people bad, but he's just not good. He's not a quality running back. Like the Deion Lewis thing really hurt us. How many times did they throw deep to him on a linebacker that had no chance? Like six times? A couple times. Just six throws. A couple times did have a chance, him on a linebacker that had no chance? Like six times? A couple times.

Just six throws. A couple times did have a chance, though. But he's not a good—he doesn't catch that play. He doesn't take the right route. There's one in the end zone. It felt like he could have caught. He was running the wrong direction. Yeah, that's not the game plan.

16 targets. We really missed Shane Vereen in that game. Really, really, really missed him. That was a Brady security blanket. But maybe the moral of the story is you can't do it without a running game i mean the offensive line has its problems and everything but you have to have 50 yards on the ground and 13 can't be from your quarterback right if that's 50 yeah i mean denver basically said we're not blitzing we don't believe you're

gonna run on us yeah we're just gonna rush rush three and four. We think we can get to Brady anyway. And we're just going to throw defensive backs all over the place. And it worked. Wade Phillips. He was your coach. I know. He outweighted Belichick yesterday. I don't know what to do now. Wade Phillips and DeMarco Ware. DeMarcus Ware, rather.

I thought they should have gone single back, Amendola, Edelman, Gronk, and a second tight end. If I was playing Madden, that's the defense I would have gone with. Make Denver take some of those D-backs off the field, and then you can do other stuff. I thought our strategy was bad.

I hated all of it. Malik Jackson, Vondo, they all had two steps on it. And that was the other thing. So playing on the road, I'm sure you're happy you got the two seed. Belichick tanked all those games, but that was it. Those plays. Brady's not doing a hard count. They're anticipating the snap the whole game.

It's even worse than that. They got in. It was like 20 degrees in Boston yesterday. That would have been good. I know. It snowed. There were eight inches of snow. It was freezing.

Manning is on the record as saying saying i can barely feel my fingers anyway but when it gets cold past a certain point i just can't feel my right hand right right we could have had it they gave away week 16 and week 17 or the pats aren't that good and maybe they fooled us this whole time because they couldn't block they couldn't run the ball yeah uh we were were down to our fifth string running back. We had guys on the offensive line where you're like, God. I mean, Cannon played one of the worst games in the history, one of the worst big games in the history of the Patriots yesterday. And I've been watching Patriot games since 1974.

It's in the discussion for worst ever. Just couldn't. Like Von Miller, just going around him every time. It's like you can't shuffle four steps over to just stay in his way. Like every time he's going to do this. And he just couldn't block him. And we had no plan B. Yeah.

Normally he'd be like, oh, let's try somebody else. I was like, who are they going to try? Nothing. Nothing. And yet with all this said, I feel like they could have won. Sure. That's the weird thing about that game. It's like we were terrible.

We had obvious holes. Their defensive line was better than anything we did. And we still had a chance to win. Just bizarre. On the road. And Goodell gets the last laugh. Big smile on his face. Rule change with the extra point moving back.

And Gaskowski misses it. I don't blame Gaskowski. One iota. Well, you should. Because a lot of guys make that kick. I don't blame Gostkowski. One iota. Well, you should. Because a lot of guys make that kick. Well, I blame him a little bit. But he really is one of the 20 best Patriots ever. I made the list yesterday.

I don't want to read it to you. No, that's fair. You can't. But I made a list yesterday because I was like, I think he's a list. All right, here's my list. Let me just say, everybody was excited to change this rule. Oh, the kick will be so much more exciting from the 33. That's terrific.

And now we have the sixth best team going to the Super Bowl. That's good. How exciting is that? And they might lose by 30 points. Oh, so exciting. We still might have lost in overtime, though. Maybe. All right, so here's my list.

I'll probably forget one person. I'll go quick because nobody really probably cares. Tom Brady. John Hanna. The best left guard of all time all right grok willie mcginnis vince wolfwork andre tippett ben coats teddy bruski troy brown adam vinatieri ty law bruce armstrong mike canes who was amazing and then we let him go to oakland randy moss drew bledsoe. I got to put him on there. Yeah, he kind of got to back out on the game. Took us to some playoff games. Gostkowski.

Stanley Morgan, the steamer. Jim Nance, never saw him play, running back from the 60s. Gino Capoletti. And then I had Mike Vrabel, 20th. There might be somebody I forgot. But Gostkowski, so I had him 16th. All time. He's amazing.

He's an amazing kicker. He's made long kicks over and over again. We had Vinatieri and Gus Kowski. We've had those guys for 20 years and never had to worry about kicks. Is this just a list? No, that's 1 to 20, right? Yeah. I had Vinatieri 10th. 10th and Gus Kowski 11th?

No, I had him like 16th. But yeah, we've had two of the best six or seven kickers in the history of football. No Curtis Martin? Well, he's only on the team for a couple years. I'm just trying to really quickly think. Like Laura Malloy is on the bubble. Bruschi was on there. Yeah.

The only way to list is I think Gronk can go to two. John Hanna was... Eventually, I mean, like in three years. Yeah. John Hanna, when he finished playing, everybody was like, that's the greatest guard we'll ever see in our entire lives. There is nobody better than that guy.

So it's hard for me to... Gronk, by the way, was incredible. And nobody's going to remember this game five years from now from a Patriots standpoint. But the pass Brady made to Gronk on fourth for the season, where they know we're going to Gronk, he goes down the middle. It's the play.

Everyone knows we're going to run. He's got two guys on him. He's open by a half step. Tremendous. And Brady makes one of the three best throws of his entire career and completes it. And then the touchdown was equally amazing. But still, you have to bring it in.

In this day and age of the ball, is it moving? Is it hitting the ground? Then we saw something, which I think was his knee, that looked like it might have hit the ground. Like, whoa, what was that? But no, he brought it in. And then, you're right. And then the touchdown, we thought. Thought he was out of bounds, right?

How is he not out of bounds? Any mortal would have been out of bounds there, I thought. Yeah. Yeah. And not to kill you, but everything I read this morning says that he was wide open on the two-point conversion. They didn't have the right angle of it. Brady didn't have a ton of time on that. No, he didn't.

The whole thing. When there's no threat to run at all on the two-point, it's a problem. I think their two-point play was probably the throw to Edelman on fourth and one. I think that's probably what was going to be their two-point play. It looked like a two-point play. But I don't know. I said last week on the podcast, Belichick comes up with a plan to score 21. They should win.

And I stand by that. 21. I said at house on Friday, I picked the Pats because we get to 27 every game. Yeah. And I was like, I don't think Broncos can get to 27. I have to take the pats and yet we got to 18 and so you look at like the worst losses of the belichick brady era every time it's because the offense couldn't score right right super bowl 36 17 points um

super bowl 42 against denver yeah 42 was i think uh what was, like 22 to 21 or some weird score. This game was 18 points. The Baltimore game in 2013, that was 13 points. Right. I ranked my worst Patriots losses ever since we're on the subject. Let's see that. Yeah. Tyree, number one.

Super Bowl XX against the Bears, number two, just because it was over in like five plays. And then you had to watch it for three hours. It was really one of the worst three hours of my entire life. Right. Just terrible. We're so, oh, team of destiny. And it's like within a minute, we're down 10 to three or whatever it was. Refrigerator, parrot, and spiked the ball until three hours later.

It was a three-hour ass-kicking of just mammoth proportions. Super Bowl XLVI Giants. The Welker. I can still see it over his head. That was a ring. Game's over. He catches it. We win.

Pats Raiders, 1976. One of the first times I almost cried from sports. Really? Sugar Bear Hamilton, Ruffin the Passer. 2007 Ac title indie which they showed this weekend just to torment pats fans because the nfl hates us 33 to win the game we don't get it give up a blow a 20 point lead in the second half yeah uh i have this game ranked sixth yesterday six worst loss of my entire life really for pat for

football yeah uh super bowl 31 against Green Bay. We kicked off to Desmond Howard. Still at the J-Bugs Brothers house, all of us screaming as the ball's in the air, like just knew it was going to be bad. I think you tied on the spread that game. I think it was 13. That was a moral victory. 2013 AFC title, Baltimore.

The Ridley fumble. Had the momentum, then all of a sudden they were up two touchdowns. I still don't know what happened that game. 86 round two, Rulon Jones at Denver. We're down three. He sacks Easton in the end zone. And then an unheralded one, 97 round two, Pittsburgh. We lost seven to six.

Bledsoe. It was a really good Pats team. It was one of the most talented teams we ever had, and we just farted. Who went to the Super Bowl? Denver went to the Super Bowl that year? Denver went to, yeah. Did they beat Green Bay? Is that that year?

Yeah. 98 season? Yeah. No. December 97? Yeah, yeah, that's what it was. Yeah, yeah. We played Denver pretty well.

Anyway, let's put that down. What was your worst loss ever? You don't put that Ravens? You don't put that Ravens? Ray Rice Ravens when they ran all over him? That was over. No, because's put that in. What was your worst loss ever? You don't put that Ravens. You don't put that Ravens. Ray Rice Ravens when they ran all over him. That was over. No, because that team

wasn't very good. You might as well put the Eagles of this year because that really screwed everything up. That was a bad loss. The one that killed us was Miami week 17.

Yeah. It's like Miami was done. Their bags were packed. Why are we letting them hang around for? So stupid. They were playing these games like they didn't care who won. What was your worst loss ever, just out of curiosity?

Was it Romo dropping the extra point? There's just so many. That was terrible. But I remember crying three years in a row. The Cowboys lost the NFC Championship. Oh, you're going way back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The catch was terrible.

The Danny White times. Yeah. Oh, the catch was bad. There's so many. There's so many. Just in the last five years. We should both feel fortunate our teams have played a lot of big games. Nope. No, not at all.

No, not at all. We should mention, did you think Brady played a good game yesterday? Yeah, under the circumstances. I think he did very well. A couple of bad throws. The throw to Von Miller was bad. I didn't feel like he was under pressure. I know that's a great Von Miller play,

but it seemed like Von Miller broke before he threw the ball. So that was a bad pass. Yeah. So Denver was 6-17 on third down. 4.1 yards per pass. 12 first downs total. Wow. Yeah. 20 points so now everybody's like i don't mean this sound like sour grapes their defense was the best thing on the field in that game and their defense

won the game for him right that's football defense win super bowls they say i don't know i've never been so stunned to see a number one seed in the Super Bowl. Right? You? It's amazing. And, you know, that was, I think, the 11th, 12th game this year. 12th game this year that either team could have won that they played. Oh, the either-or games? Yeah.

So it's like at some point winning those either or games is kind of a skill. Yeah. You gotta hand it to them. If I'm Carolina, if I'm Tate sitting behind us, big Carolina fan, congrats to Tate.

I'm worried about a fourth quarter. I'm down two and I'm playing this team that has pulled games out of their buttholes all year. You know, that's a skill to win those games. It definitely is. And I feel, not to get morbid on anyone, but you know like when's a skill to win those games. It definitely is.

And I feel, not to get morbid on anyone, but you know like when your grandfather's dying? Yeah. And they're like, this is it. He's in trouble. It's going to be any day now. And then it's like, oh, grandpa had a really good day. It's like, oh, wow. Wow.

And then like 36 hours later, he's gone. So Peyton Manning's grandpa? This is it. He's got, this is a death rattle. He's like, he's, he's coming back just for one more, you know, he knows what he has to do to keep it going, but he also knows it's over soon. If he wins the Superbowl, do you think, do you think they're going to have to hose Nance down?

What happens? What happens to Nance and Sims? No, they're not going to make it out. It's almost going to be like the first time ever where an announcer took Viagra without taking Viagra.

Wow. It could be four hours for him. He might have to go see a doctor after four hours. This is getting gross. Thank you. So, Sal, it's 2016. It's time for fresh starts

Okay Unless you're the NFL and 40 year old Peyton Manning's in the Super Bowl again You need to stop overpaying for great shaves You need to tell your face It's a Jeffrey Ross staple I love it The good people at Harry's sent me a shaving kit a few months ago I've been using their blades ever since. Swear to God.

Doesn't really look like it, but. Well, I haven't shaved in two weeks. But when I shave, I use Harry's. Close shaves, no shaving cuts, everything I wanted. What's good is when I grow the beard and then I shave it, the Harry's blades actually make the beard come off without ruining my face. Why pay $32 for an eight pack of blades when you can get them for one half the price at harrys.com? Their starter set, an amazing deal.

Just $15. You get a razor, moisturizing, shave cream, three razor blades, and you even get $5 off your first order with promo code BS. Go to harrys.com right now and enter promo code BS at checkout. Your face will appreciate it. Tell your face, Sal. Tell your face. I love it.

We should tell the background of that joke. It's Jeff Ross, who has brought us more enjoyment than just about anyone. When he would do stand-up, if he saw somebody who didn't seem like they were having a good time, he would ask them if they were having fun, and they would say yes, and he would say, Really? Well, tell your face. It's so stupid. who didn't seem like they were having a good time, he would ask them if they were having fun and they would say yes. And he would say, really?

Well, tell your face. It's so stupid. And he claimed it as his until I watched Mr. Saturday Night, the Billy Crystal movie, and he did it at least six, seven years before. But it's Jeffrey Ross's. You know, I was ripping Daily Fantasy, especially after I read that New York Times piece.

And then, to their credit, the Daily Fantasy community reached out to me in the kindest possible way to tell me about single entry. Oh, no, it wasn't kind at all. They were really mean. But that's fine. So I messed around with the single entry. What is that? I'm not sure I know that. So you can enter tournaments where there's only one entry per

Oh, okay. Username. So it's like a little bit more of a fair playing field because who knows how people they do these scripts. So the DraftKings is saying now that they're getting rid of the scripts.

But you never know if somebody's putting in 27 variations of the same lineup. So I played yesterday. I won't say where. And I won $800. You did? In a $100 league, yeah. What? Yeah. I had this lineup

that had Cam Newton at QB. Wow. I had the Carolina defense. I had Gronk. I had Greg Olson as my flex guy. And if I had done two lineups and had one with Ted Gann and one with Danny Amodola, which was the one I used, if I had used Ted Gann, I would have won the whole thing. But I used Danny Amidola.

So what place did you come in? I came in third place. Third place. Is that the IRS calling for this? No, that's our agent who knows that we taped this podcast that Monday at this time and calls every time anyway. You know what, baby? I don't give a shit.

I don't know what time it is, baby. I need to brag about my weekend. You got to take this call. So, yeah. So, Daily Fantasy, baby. I need to brag about my weekend. You got to take this call. So, yeah. So, Daily Fantasy was fun. I was into it. I was watching the 49 to 15 game. Like, come on.

No more points. I think they let you back. I think they let you win. You know what? Oh, my God. He's got to be kidding me. But Daily Fantasy, I don't know. I'm willing to reconsider it.

It seems like the single entry might be. But here's the thing. I like fantasy and I love gambling. So I'm kind of the target audience. I don't like it. I like beating guys we know. That's it. Well, we could do leagues, I guess.

Yeah, I think that's the fun part of it. Yeah. Well, so me putting Cam Newton ahead of Brady in yesterday's game was probably a mental sign. Yeah, that's a scumbag move. Well, it was probably a sign that mentally, deep down, I was worried about the Denver defense. Right. I didn't want to admit it. Let's talk about Panthers-Seattle really quick.

Let's do it. I have a feeling we won't have as much to say about this game. I hate saying I told you so. Yeah. Because I'm wrong all the time. No, you did tell me. I was really worried about this game. You loved Arizona.

No, I mean, I picked Arizona starting in week three, so I was like, I might as well take them. You just went down. In this game, yeah. But you were right. And I can't even point to a play that, like, you know, Patrick Peterson's interception and fumble down 17-7. Yeah, that hurt.

They could have driven and scored. It could have been 17-10. Yeah, something. It just had all the makings the whole time. It didn't matter. Palmer never looked comfortable this whole playoffs. And I wouldn't be shocked. I mean, if it was Manning, today Adam Schefter would have reported that pate manning was playing the whole

postseason with a broken hand and seven broken ribs right but palmer doesn't seem like anything you know he's just like yeah my finger was fine and he didn't seem fine no or he just wasn't that good the whole time and maybe they were a team that was just really good at home when they had receivers and they had the crowd and all that, but kind of hit or miss anywhere else. I think they played the best team in football. That's it. That's what happens. And those linebackers wreak havoc on you, and you don't have much chance to get rid of the ball.

And he still threw some good passes, but now he's at the Lone Depot. Home field advantage matters when you have a slightly better team and you have playmakers on D and you have a quarterback that's melting down a little bit. That's when it does feel like the crowd could smell it. Yeah, you're right. It fell into everything. I don't know why.

I was afraid of the line, really. That was three all week, too. It's like, why, again, is the home team giving three? That seems too fishy. And we had the Pats AFC bet, and we had a Pats Arizona 7-1. Yeah. And we're all ready to hedge with a Carolina bet, and then the Pats ended up losing. I'd have more thoughts on this game, but I punched myself in the head like 58 times after the Pats game.

And I was semi-conscious. I did not pass the concussion protocol last night. Our friend Nick was asking me, he's like, you had a lot of money on the Patriots didn't you? You're walking around dazed. I was like, yeah, same thing. A lot of money on the Pats. It was low risk, high reward money though.

It was smart bets that we made a while ago. We checked it off as a win. By the way, we should mention after last weekend no teasers in Caesars or Harris. They did away with teasers. Amazing. You know what's funny is people always give us shit about doing teasers. Yeah, I know.

It's like, oh, you guys are not teasers. I feel like we brought it back into the... Yeah. Right? Yeah. But now Caesars win because everybody won last week. We made teasers cool again. We made them cool again.

And even the Patriots cover on a teaser, plus two and a half. Yeah. But two casinos did away with them. Probably stupid, too, because people would add Arizona on a teaser. People might add that under on a teaser. Would it have been a better Super Bowl if it was Carolina, New England, or Carolina, Denver, just for the whole hype of the Super Bowl of two weeks of people talking about it and all that. Would you rather the sheriff in there or would you rather have the deflate gay pets?

No, I think any prospect of Brady on the podium with Goodell. That's what I thought. I don't know if I'm biased. Not to mention, it would have been the first Super Bowl with a murderer on each team. Convicted murderer. Aaron Hernandez. He's not on our team anymore. I know he's not on the team,

but having, and who was, Carolinas. Ray Carruth. Ray Carruth. That would have been terrific. You think they would have, they wouldn't have brought them up

for the contest. I think they would have let them come off. That is true. Two teams with the worst history. Murder ball. Plus Janet Jackson's nipple. Oh, right. That's what it was.

A lot of bad stuff in there. Yeah, I would have liked that one. You know, I forgot to mention, the Pats offensive line, total disaster. The Pats never spend money on free agents. They're not going to go out and buy the best left tackle. So the good news is, at the very least, we can use our first round pick on, oh, no, we can't. They took it from us that's gone even though there's no evidence that the pats cheated can i say this we don't have a first round

pick it would be the 29th pick we don't have it for reasons that it is still unclear whether there's any evidence that proves anything and we lost our first round pick at a million dollars right because our owner made some sort of backroom handshake deal thinking that they were going to exonerate brady and then they didn't and now we have no first round pick well that's that you should look into more why did he make that handshake deal i don't know i think they're buddies and he just wanted it to go away it's crazy it's terrible we don't have a first round pick sal you'll be all right we might might have Marcus Cannon starting a playoff game next year. Just shoot me. You should hope. Let me ask you this.

If Pete Carroll doesn't do Belichick a favor and throw on second down, second and one after Belichick runs all of Brady's time down to nothing. We have no Super Bowls. Combined with this is the narrative

that the game is passing Belichick by. I think we get a little of that. Yeah. He did not coach a good game yesterday. No. I did not like how they coached. I thought Gary Kubiak and Wade Phillips out-coached Belichick and McDaniels. Yeah.

That was not a good McDaniels game. You needed 21 points. 21. I have a new show for you. Oh, go ahead. Let's hear it. Let's break out the sadness. It's on Hulu.

Uh-huh. Time travel show. Uh-huh. James Franco. James Franco? You like James Franco. Get sent back in time. Through a cupboard.

Through a what? Through a cupboard. Through a what? Through a cupboard. A cupboard? A cupboard. Yeah, a cupboard. Okay. It's always spelled cupboard. Okay, I'm sorry.

Through a cupboard to prevent the assassination of JFK. The problem is that the past doesn't like to be changed. And it dispatches dangerous drivers and knife-wielding opponents, an army of cockroaches to stop Franco. What? You think he's going to be able to stop the shooting and prevent the president from getting assassinated. But weird shit just keeps happening. It's called... Wait, wait, wait.

Can I guess? What? Hold on. Give me a second. James Franco, JFK. Yeah. Assassination. Time travel.

Time travel. Weird shit keeps happening. I got nothing. I'm sorry. It's called 11-22-63. This is actually a real show. You thought I was kidding. That's an actual show on Hulu.

The description was really... Yeah, I swerved. I swerved on you. That's a real show. James Franco, 11-22-63. No, it isn't. I swear to God. There's not even a pun in there or anything.

It's based on a Stephen King book. What? Yeah. Oh, boy. James Franco, traveling in time through a cupboard to prevent JFK's assassination. Shouldn't he have prevented the night he hosted the Oscars? Isn't that the worst? Isn't that the worst moment in history?

In the assassination? I was so happy I saw that. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, I was excited. That's a good one. You know, Sal, we have Valentine's Day coming up. Not for my wife, we don't. Oh, this is great. I have some Valentine's Day coming up. Not for my wife, we don't. Not for you.

Oh, this is great. I have some Valentine's Day ideas for you. Every February, we let our wives down. Is it free? Yeah. We disappoint them. We make them feel like we just don't care. I'm with you.

Let's flip the narrative. Even though you've lost all your money and you have to start selling things. I'm with you. I don't know. Let's get them the world's most comfortable underwear. Let's get them MeUndies. All right. Does Mrs. Cuz like to wear comfy boxers?

Sure. Get her those. Does she like to wear comfy ladies underwear? I bet she does. Oh, my God. Get her those. This is great. All right.

MeUndies also has a February's limited edition underwear design from legendary artist Keith Herring. This retro design is inspired by love, making the perfect Valentine's Day gift, especially if you've lost thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars in round three. And for the ladies out there, get your boyfriend or husband a pair of the French Terry joggers.

He'll never take them off. I've worn mine for so long that my wife derisively nicknamed them Tom. Oh, yeah. That's a true story, too. That's as true as the James Franco. Order before February 4th in the USA to make sure your pair arrives in time for Valentine's Day.

Head to meundies.com slash BS. Right now, you get free shipping. You get 20% off your first order. All right, Super Bowl line. Hold on. Sweetheart, yeah, I got you these. They're used me undies. I bought them.

You bought them on eBay? I got my 20% off from the promo, and then I get an extra 30% off because I do the podcast. But no, it's a thought that counts. No, they wouldn't be used. They'll be new. I know. I'm going to have to buy them used. I'm going to have to get an even better deal.

Oh, that's how much money you lost? Yeah, that's a lot. Are there used me undies? I'll find them if they're on. Maybe like only worn one time? Yeah, yeah. That's fine. All right.

Super Bowl line. Okay. I said six and a half Carolina. You said five and a half Carolina. I don't actually know what the answer is, so tell us. I try not to look. I try not to look. What is it?

Four and a half minus 120. So you hit it. You beat me. No, I said five and a half no but you beat me oh i i beat you for the year you killed me for the year yeah yeah you stopped even i started 17 i don't even uh when was the last time you beat me for the year it was before we even ever did this i had a dream no i'd be so they put that line in the Vegas zone, which makes total sense because the missed PAT rule has wreaked havoc with all these scores. And every score has been weird. Like we had a frigging 20 to 18 score yesterday.

Right. To win, to decide who goes to the Super Bowl. Now, on the surface, Olsen will be difficult to cover. Carolina's linebackers, even the ones with broken arms, will have a field day on Peyton Manning. But here are things that you should know about this game. Okay. Carolla's betting Carolina big.

Carolla's betting Carolina big. Did Carolla bet on the Pats? Yes. Our friend Daniel's betting Carolina big. That's a terrible combo. 15-1 teams in the super bowl or two and four 30 point conference champion winners or more or two and five in the super bowl just be careful be careful let's be careful out there i think so right i mean you've you're not

gonna make a pick now but you're leaning... All Patriots fans are leaning Caroline anyway because they're mad. It's just irrational. Do you realize that Brady in the conference championship weekend or the Super Bowl, the conference championship weekend and the Super Bowl, he's 1-5 against the Manning family. Yeah, I saw that. That hurts. That hurts my feelings. That's pretty bad. He's won four

Super Bowls. They've combined 1-3. Pey They've combined won three. Peyton's only won one. And yet, it is stupid that we give the QB just gets the win. Like the record. Like the record just goes to the QB. Like yesterday, Denver's D is like the one that won that game. Oh, yeah.

Manning, I guess, didn't turn the ball over except for the one time when he threw it backwards and they whistled it dead. But, yeah, it hurts. The Mannings. I guess, didn't turn the ball over except for the one time when he threw it backwards and they whistled it dead. But, yeah, it hurts. The Mannings. I know. Every time I think Brady has clinched the Brady-Manning rivalry, then some other stupid thing happens. That's the worst part of this. And it's kind of up in the air still. Yeah, that's the worst part of this for you, I think.

Four Super Bowls, 10 AFC title games, and he's going to play for another five years. And if the roles were reversed yesterday, if you just switch quarterbacks in those games, I think the Patriots lose by 50. You needed that game to be home. You needed that game to be home. How happy are you? You didn't play the Steelers in the second round.

Big deal. Home field a bit. It reminded me a little bit, and there's a lot of Spurs-urs patriots parallels anyway um just in general how they do it year after year and how smart they are and they're trying to cut corners and be uh the ingenuity all that stuff but last year the the spurs messed around with the regular season and ended up they had to play in the road in round one with the clippers and they were one of the two best teams in the West. They just screwed it up. They got two lackadaisical, and then when it counted, game seven was here in L.A.

And the same thing with the Pats. They got too cute. They tried to sneak it by, and it killed them. There's no way Denver wins in 20 degrees in New England. No. It doesn't happen. Get the freaking one seed.

We also didn't mention how good Von Miller was in that game. I mean, we did, but that was one of the best games I've ever seen a defensive player play. He did everything. We also didn't mention how good Von Miller was in that game. Yeah, it was spectacular. I mean, we did, but we should really, like, that was one of the best games I've ever seen a defensive player play. He did everything. All those guys. He was amazing. You want to scream that he was off sides.

They were just timing it just right. I don't know, maybe a little bit, but they were timing it just right. I've never seen anyone time Brady like that. It was wired in. Doesn't he usually do a hard count? Like, doesn't he mix it up a little? Everything was a little bit off with them.

Yeah, Denver. Sometimes you have places that, you know, you just don't feel good. Pittsburgh could have put them away three times. Your game yesterday. San Diego was beating

them week 17. So you, are we doing a pod next week? Yeah, we usually do. You're just going to call in? I'll come in. I had doing a pod next week? Yeah, we usually do it. I'll come in. I have an idea for next week. So on iTunes. We do the props.

Oh yeah, we'll do the props. Yeah, we usually do like the middle of the week or something. I had an idea for our listeners. Yeah. You know on iTunes you can leave those reviews under the podcast, which you can leave under the BS podcast. We'll do an iTunes mailbag. How about that? All right.

So we'll do the props, and then we'll take some questions. So if you go on my iTunes page, leave questions, and then we can search for them because I think it says they have different search tabs, and one of them is most recent. So just leave us questions there, and then we'll answer the best five or six. We'll give your little account a shout-out. Yeah. Try to be really mean.

Yeah, you can be mean. Because that's what sells. Kill us. Yeah, we're fine. We'll read the funniest ones. There you go. All right, last thing, Royal Rumble. Yeah, I just had it written down.

Did you watch? I only watched the Royal Rumble, the 30-man thing. My son was, by the time Sunday rolled around, it was like a UFO was landing in our backyard. I've never seen it. Really? Fired up and more excited about anything. My dad and my stepmother were here. My daughter, my wife, myself, and him, we wrote out all the numbers.

We did the hat. Oh, nice. We pick. He picks out the first number. It's number one. So he knows he's getting Roman Reigns because I read it all the numbers. We did the hat. Oh, nice. We pick. He picks out the first number. It's number one. So he knows he's getting Roman Reigns because I read it on the internet. So he like flips out.

He's doing great. My dad teases him that he rigged the number one. He throws a toll tantrum. It was great. It was awesome. So anyway, my dad got number 30. Right. And then we're watching the whole thing.

And I thought Daniel Bryan was going to come out at number 30 and my son didn't know about that and he would have like his head would have exploded oh really and then it was triple h don't you read online i mean that's what stinks about this you could bet these now oh they have this stuff well and i looked and like triple h is minus 130 to win the royal rumble like all, so he's going to win. We could have bet this? Yeah. Yeah.

That seems like easy money. I know. If it was over, Triple H would have been the parlay. So he's going nuts for Reigns, and then Triple H tossed him. Yeah. And then it was Triple H, Ambrose. Ambrose. And I got excited, because I thought this might be our Ambrose Piper moment that we've been calling for forever, where he wins it, then he turns on Reigns, becomes a bad guy, and

that becomes the main event. Now. Now it's got to be Triple H. Now, what does Ben say about everyone's booing Reigns the whole time? Because he did that thing, Reigns, where he was thrown through the table. It's a terrible move. I hate when they disappear and come back. For like a half hour. And there's no doubt he's coming back. It's a terrible move. I hate when they disappear and come back. For like a half hour.

And there's no doubt he's coming back. And then he comes back. Thunderous boos. Yeah. And Triple H gets announced. Over the top cheer. It's not what they're going for. No, but they usually roll with whatever their reaction is.

Yeah, they do. My son, I wish I'd had a GoPro because they're doing the things. Bad wrestlers are coming out. I had gold dust. He comes out. My son bad wrestlers are coming out. Like, I had Goldust. He comes out. My son's like, cross him off. Cross him off now because I'm having a list of each guy. That's great.

He stinks. That's great. AJ Styles was great, though. That was a great signing by them. Yeah. They needed, like, that guy who can have the 40-minute matches. And they had Kevin Owens limping to the ring because he had a previous match with ambrose right he's a limping it's a fake took him a minute and a half to get to the

ring and then just house of fire just yeah forgot all about the limp it was like peyton manning yesterday for one drive yep but uh yeah they're they're in a weird place right now because they so many of their guys are injured that they have to bring triple h back to headline a main event in 2016 yeah hello very young i mean you know they're in trouble because it's so uncharacteristic of triple h to insert himself in a big storyline and make himself the center of attention he never does that he never puts himself over he's usually so much more magnanimous after wrestlemania they ran ran, I'm sorry, after the Royal Rumble, they ran the lead up to last year's WrestleMania, which we were at.

Yeah. And we were in a lot of the shots. Were we? Our kids. I have to show you. Because they show the, what was the thing? Where you go to shop. Oh, the WWE store?

The WWE store. But what's it called? Oh, WWE Fan Experience or whatever it's called yeah that and they had like just under the tunnel and everything like you could see really obviously in the corner by the ring but you don't want to go this year i don't know it's in dallas right you want to go i'll tell you my son wants to go yeah yeah dallas we stay at romo's house. It's in April. We could stay with Romo.

That'd be a good time. It'd be good. Romo's got four years left. People thought they saw him at the Broncos game. You see that picture going around the internet? Yeah. Some guy with a beer and a Broncos hat on, sitting with the fans, and they thought that was Tony Romo. Doesn't seem likely.

Doesn't seem. Doesn't seem conceivable. Anything else? Any TV you're watching? Oh, no. Doesn't seem likely. Doesn't seem conceivable. Anything else? Any TV you're watching? Oh, no, just the fake stuff. The fake stuff? Just all the fake stuff. Just the Lone Depot.

But on Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight, I hit the beach and throw snowballs at tourists who are taunting their family and friends back home because of Jonas. Also, Chris Pine is on, Lena Headey. Headey? Sorry. Headey. Headey? Sorry. Headey. And Panic at the Disco. Jack Black, Shaq, and Hannibal Buress later in the weekend.

ESPN, they don't let me pick the Pro Bowl, so next week I'll be on, and hit me on Twitter at TheCousinSal. Jack Black, Shaq, is that a rapper? Those are two different people. I didn't realize one is. Jack Black, Shaq would be a good rapper name. That would be fun.

They should get it together. Thanks to me. And he's sponsoring today's show. Head to me. And he's dot com slash BS right now to get the world's most comfortable underwear for your significant other order before February 4th in the USA to make sure your pair arrives in time for Valentine's Day. And if you don't have a Valentine, treat yourself to some me and his do a little self

Valentining. Head to me and his dot com slash BS nowValentine and head to me and his.com slash BS. Now to get free shipping, 20% off your first order. Thanks to HBO. We have a new episode of real sports premiering on Tuesday night, January 26th. You can watch an HBO or HBO.

Now download the free app today. Thanks to seek geek, the presenting sponsor of the BS podcast and channel 33, subscribe to both podcasts on iTunes Stitcher or SoundCloud And thanks to Joe Fuentes Who's in the house Joe Fuentes on the team

He's kind of in the house He just now looked up from his phone He's running BSPN That's awesome Or BS Podcast Network I guess the acronym could be BSPN. BSPN works. Thanks to everybody who sent me nice emails yesterday about the Pats and the great run we had.

Oh, wait. I didn't really get any. That's fine. That's fine. It's a good run. It's a good run. It's fine. I get it.

We're America's villain. I probably got 800 tweets that said, don't let Simmons off the hook about blank. And just, Belichick, forth that. I know what to cover. I'm sorry. That was a terrible, terrible loss. Terrible. I mean, 18 points.

You can't miss the extra point come on Gostkowski alright we'll be back later in the week with more BS podcasts until then

enjoy the rest of the Monday good job out here good job out here we about this bitch anytime y'all wanna see me again rewind this track

right here close your eyes and picture me rollin'.