The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 59: SB 50 Prop Bets w/ Cousin Sal

Episode Date: February 3, 2016

HBO's Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal scour the Internet for their favorite SB 50 prop bets, talk best- and worst-case Peyton Manning scenarios, find the best Thomas Davis prop bet, learn where a forearm is, talk Ted Ginn's MVP/goat chances, figure out a way to bet on Mike Carey AND Phil Simms, and unveil Sal's Gary Russell Memorial obscure Super Bowl prop bet lock of the year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode of the BS Podcast is brought to you by SeatGeek, our presenting sponsor for the BS Podcast and Channel 33. Enter promo code BS and buy Panthers Broncos tickets on SeatGeek and they'll send you $100 on your purchase. Sal, if we weren't going to a Super Bowl party, you would maybe use SeatGeek to buy your tickets. I think I would. I would have to. Their prices are the lowest out there.

They always show you the full price up front, no hidden fees to get $100 off your purchase, download the free SeatGeek app and enter promo code BS. And today's episode is also brought to you by NatureBox. And not just because my wife has been a NatureBox customer since 2014. Yeah. Choose from over 100 snacks. Go healthy. Go indulgent. Just snack away.

They couldn't make it easier for you with their SmartBox guarantee. If you get a snack you don't like, they'll replace it in your next box for free i can't imagine why you wouldn't like any of the nature box snacks uh visit naturebox.com slash bs get 50 off your first box again approved by my wife and we are off. I'm pumped. Well, very rarely do we do a pod that's not at 9 a.m. This one we're taping at 5.30. I just had a giant almond milk latte, so please make fun of me now. All right.

I'll save it. I'll save it. Save it? Okay. I have a lot of energy. I'm very excited, too. That's the one downside of doing it this late in the afternoon. It's all I can think about all day. It's good.

A little more anticipation. And I try to get organized, but there's just a million of them. I love it. So every year since, I don't know, 07, 08, I don't remember the first time we did this. We did a dog barking behind us. Yeah, dogs excited. Take Denver. Does that that mean is that an omen for denver take the dog i want to apologize by the way uh on monday to the people listening

um first of all at the 247 podcast of the tom tibideau uh podcast i opened a cavita and it sprayed in it was unbelievable it sprayed everywhere it was unbelievable. It sprayed everywhere. It was like a Peter North movie from the mid-80s. It just wouldn't stop. Joe was here. Joe Fuentes. He came out. We just couldn't stop it.

So I think people thought I was doing a bong hit, though. Oh, really? And I wasn't. It was really like a faulty cavita. And then apparently my slurping and all that stuff was at an all-time worse. I'm going to work on it. I'm going to go to... Work on your slurping

for crying out loud. I'm listening to Thibodeau. You know, I'm on the phone and I'm too close to the mic. I'm doing like weird... So I got to work on that. I know it.

I get it, guys. I'm listening to you. I think there's a prop about your slurping. I'm not a pro at this. Like somehow people listen, but I'm just not good at this. Super Bowl props.

So good. First of all, we like to go against the grain. We have learned over the years to fear when everybody is drifting one way. That's why our Pats Broncos red flags were up. And yet we threw them in teases and parlays and all kinds of things. We should have a lot more money for these props based on the Pats Broncos. Are you allowed to bet? Do you have any money left?

Do you want me to loan you some money? No, no. Right now, yeah. Right now, I'm just paying people off. You're paying people off. As our friend Daniel Kellison says, we're one safety away from making it all back. Oh, yeah. That's our favorite prop to discuss every year, that Daniel somehow won four times in the last 10 years?

Yeah, four times in the last 10 years that any other score other than touchdown or field goal would be the first or last score. And you had the Brady safety against the Giants. A very dubious call too like you always talk about if there yeah if there was ever a fixing of a football game

it wouldn't be a fixing but it would be some subtle call like that where right right right some shady safety I went to that game that was not a safety

that wasn't no that was bogus Daniel who roots for the Patriots was ecstatic that they were down 2-0 yeah

and then two years ago same thing with Peyton Manning against Seattle uh to start the game well I I always like to start this prop podcast by talking about my favorite prop I ever did which was um the Ravens Super Bowl I had the field back for the field for first score back before they figured out that it was too advantageous for the gamblers. Right. And I bet the field, I think it was like 20 to one. Was it? And Brandon Stokely.

Right. God bless that man. Caught a pass. He was part of the field. And it just started out. That was the greatest Super Bowl betting I've ever had. No. Giants, Ravens.

Is that what you said? Giants, Ravens. Oh, I thought you said 49ers. Yeah, Giants-Ravens. Is that what you said? Giants-Ravens. Oh, I thought you said 49ers-Ravens. Yeah, Giants-Ravens. Okay. Yeah, right. And it just, I was all in on the Ravens. I was all in on the under.

I was all in on the Giants to score less than whatever. The whole thing. It was just the best. It was my best gambling day. I was right when you first started around the Kimmel, and we would hit Super Bowls. It was like the year before. Yeah, we loved Tampa Bay over Oakland.

We loved the Ravens over the Giants. We had a nice Super Bowl run. Yeah. Because I had the Pats over the Rams that year, too. I was convinced we were at least going to cover. I really thought we could win. Yeah. Now it's too hard.

I told Jimmy, it was Jimmy's last year of Fox. Everyone hated him. He thought for sure he was going to be fired. And he's like, eh, this doesn't matter. Who should I take, Patriots or Rams? And it's straight up then on Fox he was picking. And I'm like, take the Patriots. It doesn't matter.

Just go all in on the Pats. So Vinatieri kicks it beautifully right down the uprights, right through the middle. And he looks at me. He's jumping up and down. We were at the game. And he looks at me, and I'm crest and down. We were at the game. And he looks at me. And I'm crestfallen.

He's like, what's the matter? I said, I had $20,000 on the Rams money line. He's like, but you told me to tell you. I was like, I know what I told you. It doesn't matter. The Rams money line. Yeah, the Super Bowl, I'm trying to think. That's probably the most dramatic.

Wasn't that a higher underdog than uh tyree giants tyree giants was like 13 or 12 or something yeah yeah yeah was it that high rams pats remember when america liked the patriots yeah it's a long time ago man yeah i was just starting at espn certain bosses i actually liked uh all right so we're gonna throw out a whole bunch of props we got most of these from the westgate las vegas sportsbook which runs the super contest right right so we like those guys uh found a couple on sportsbook.com found a couple on bovada found a couple on william hill uh we are agnostic with who we use for these things. We do not care.

We have never been given any sort of anything by anybody. We'll lose money to anybody. Yeah, we don't care. Do you want to go first, or do you want to leave this? I think the way we normally do it, it's kind of like the way you fill out an NCAA bracket. You say, who do you like in the finals, and then you work your way back.

Let's do that. We'll talk game first. Good idea. So that's what we do. I like it, cuz. Well, I can't pick the game because I have to do it on ESPN, but my point was going to be I haven't picked the game yet. Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I hate to break it to you. You traitor. This late in the season, week 21. Cousin Benedict. I know. I didn't even think. I had no idea there were problems with you guys.

You're doing stuff for ESPN? What? But the point is, it's Tuesday night, and I still don't know. I have a feeling. You don't have a feel for the game. So I can't even work backwards like that. But maybe that's good, because I usually lose at these props. Well, can I work backwards?

Sure. Since I'm not on ESPN? Yeah. I think it reminds me of the Broncos-Pats game from two weeks ago, where I'm going to take credit for this prediction because technically I can. I thought either the Patriots were going to win by double figures or they were going to lose in one of the most agonizing ways in the history of the Patriots. And that's exactly what happened.

I think this game, it's either Denver's D wins it and it's low scoring ugly the 16 to 13 13 to 10 15 to 14 some weird score type of game or carolina wins like 38 to 10 yeah and i and i those are the two extremes for me well i don't see any other game any other variable then you should be able to make money off it you could bet both those scenarios and not exact score but you should be covered on so what i was looking at and i don't love the odds but carolina laying 21 and a half points is plus 525 right that's pretty good it didn't make my final cut of the bets i love the most i wish it was like plus 725, but I did like that. Like it would be nice to be up 34 to 10. Yeah.

Is Brock Osweiler even in the mix in this? Sure. In fact, I have another prop I want to get to. Oh, that's one of my favorites. I know what prop you're thinking. All right. So then they're going the other way. And I think I like this one more.

No touchdown scored. Not one touchdown. Wow. 200 to 1 touchdown scored not one touchdown 200 to 1 that's crazy 200 to 1 couldn't this be a Brandon McMahon didn't they play a game where they they didn't score a touchdown oh they had one they had one yeah I think they've always had one now in a Super Bowl does that happen no right so here's my thinking. You do no touchdown score, 200 to one, and you parlay that with Brandon McManus to win the MVP, 100 to one. Wow. What's 200 to one and 100 to one as a parlay?

I'd have to figure it out, but it's at least five to two. I'm a billionaire. You did it. I get to buy Yahoo. I'm going to win that parlay and then buy Yahoo. You own MeUndies. That's great. Yeah.

Not even just a pair. I can't buy MeUndies. They're doing too well. That's true. Yahoo, I think I can get. Right, right, right. But yeah, so Brandon McManus, a 100-1 to win MVP. Yeah, so if he kicks five field goals, then how many kick against the pads?

Four? Well, first of all, what was the game where he was the MVP? Was that the Pittsburgh game? Right, yeah. He was the MVP of that game. I don't think he got a trophy right now. Kickoffs, he had huge field goals. He was the best player Denver had.

But here's what I'll say about that. If Denver wins the game, is there any way, any single way they don't give it to Peyton Manning? Phil Simms and Nance, do they refuse to go on stage unless they're handing that hardware to the sheriff? They should just make a replica of the Butler cabin for Nance. Because he'll have that same look on his face like, Peyton, you did it again, my old friend. You were eight for 28 for one touchdown and four picks yeah and your team won 13 to 10 you're our MVP congratulations

I look at it and I say you know what maybe Denver's defense plays lights out they have like seven free agents that probably might not come back next year yeah gonna play out of their minds Von Miller's one of them. Maybe they do it. And then I come across stats like, statistically, Peyton Manning, worst Super Bowl quarterback of all time. It's like, wow, he really is.

That's hard to get around when Luke Kikwi's going to be staring him down. And there's been some bad Super Bowl quarterbacks. Yeah, there have. We've had 98 of them. How does Seattle-Denver factor into your decision to take over? I thought about that. Now, is that like, oh, that could happen to Peyton, so it might happen again? Or is it like, no, Does Seattle-Denver factor into your decision to take Denver? I thought about that.

Now, is that like, oh, that could happen to Peyton, so it might happen again? Or is it like, no, they're never going to let that happen to him again? Wade Phillips will prepare something and the offense will be conservative or something. I want you to know that I deleted the Pats-Broncos game. You did. Off my DVR two days ago for my own safety. You did, yeah. First of all, let's start there. That's smart.

Because all he did was throw outs. He threw those long wobblers. And then he threw two really nice passes to Daniels. Touchdowns, yeah. Where Jamie Collins, if you're listening, Jamie, I think you're one of the best athletes we've ever had in the Patriots. I think you're a phenomenal defensive player. And you killed had in the Patriots. I think you're a phenomenal defensive player and you killed us in that game and everybody blaming Gostkowski and you got burned by Owen Daniels twice.

Owen Daniels. Yeah. The second time it wasn't him. We have Scott Chandler. They have Owen Daniels. Is that like... So anyway... You couldn't get Owen Daniels for like $16. Right. So Carolina is watching these two games that he's played against Pittsburgh and against the Pats.

We watch those same games. He can only make like two types of throws. Right. And aren't they going to just sit on the throws they think he can make and dare him to go deep? Man, it seems that way. All right. Flip side, though. Yeah.

Go ahead. He's going to get every call he'll get all the calls they'll keep him in the game all the calls i mean this is a guy who in round two was about to get sacked and went into a slide got up and threw a 35 yard pass and the rest are like oh see it's shit like that that makes me think they're going to win. I might not watch this game. It makes me think they're going to win. Well, we're going to have hundreds of prop bets. What are you talking about? We have to watch.

But on the flip side, though, Denver's incredible defense. Yeah. Who annihilated us. Right. They hit Brady 20 times. Edelman, I almost want Edelman to get like a second foot surgery because he was so invisible in that game. I want there to be an explanation other than you just got destroyed by Denver.

Edelman and Amendola just got taken out. What did he have, 60-yard Edelman? I thought he had six catches or something. He was never open. Couldn't get open on any of the big short plays. But they did such a job on uh on the pats offense it just seems like the panthers if you take out olsen they took out gronk gronk gronk finished with eight for 160 or whatever or 140 but one of those plays was the

basic pseudo hail mary for 45 yards double coverage right one of the best catches in the history of the page and everything i'm reading says Tlaib will cover Olsen. He's a poor man's Gronk. Yeah. By the way, probably the third best tight end in the league. But they did a nice job of handling Gronk. They sent two guys, three guys. So then that leaves the old throw deep to Ted Ginn.

Funchess Ginn. Which I'm going to turn around and look at Tate. Tate, he drops that pass two out of every three times? It's a 60% drop rate 60% drop rate, Tate says, Tate, diehard Panthers fan having a heart attack as we do this So I don't know, couldn't Denver just take out

Carolina's offense? Sure, and I do think the first half will be like 9-7-ish maybe late second quarter Super ugly But then maybe the Panthers figure it out But if you do like the Panthers a lot like 9-7-ish, maybe late second quarter, and everyone's going, oh, that stinks. What's going on here? But then maybe the Panthers figure it out. But if you do like the Panthers a lot, what did you say, minus 21.5 is 525? Yeah, I don't love the odds.

14.5 is plus 320. I like that a little more. That's a little more feasible. And the other thing, like if, you know, Panthers open at 3.5, 4, now it's 5.5, 6. If you feel you lost out on the spread, this is like a hidden gem thing. If you think the Panthers are going to.5-4, now it's 5.5-6. If you feel you lost out on the spread, this is like a hidden gem thing. If you think the Panthers are going to jump on them early, take them

to win the first half and then to win the game and it's minus 140. And then you don't have to worry about Denver being down 10 scoring at the end. This sounds like one of your great ideas that you never actually do. Oh, right, I know. I'm full of those. I have a ton of those.

I got to say, it seems like the safest bet on the whole planet, which means it'll lose. But if you just tease Carolina in the under, Carolina to win 51.5 points. Yeah. Denver put up 18 against Pittsburgh, and they put up 20 against the Pats. That's so boring. I know. And I just don't

see them. Do they score more than 20 in this game? No. If they win, it's going to be low scoring. If they lose, it's going to be like a 34 to 15 type game. I don't know. I don't see this game going to 50. I thought that line was really high. I don't ever, ever hit the

spread in the overrun. Not in the same game. ever, ever hit the spread in the overrun. Not in the same game. I can't take the team in the overrun there. So Peyton Manning to throw a pick. Yes, minus 220. No, plus 190. I have that one as well. I can't imagine he doesn't throw a pick.

Right. Then again, he didn't throw a pick against the Pats. Right. Although we dropped three of them he dropped a bunch he wasn't asked to pass much in the fourth quarter he wasn't playing from behind wasn't playing from behind the panthers are pick happy they like getting those picks yeah you got a guy oh there is a prop here let me start reading some of these up yeah do your thing this is um uh whose broken arm will heal faster, Panthers linebacker Thomas Davis or Peyton Manning?

Peyton Manning. Davis minus 750. That's on a broken arm? No, it's actually, no, it's totally healthy. I didn't know that. Yeah. If Peyton Manning throws a winning touchdown pass in overtime, over under two and a half containers of Juergens hand lotion

used by Jim Nance in the Lombardi Trophy presentation. Oh, he does. He goes. Way over? No, he goes dry. He doesn't even need hand cream for that. Oh, my God. Street style.

We'll get back to those. We'll get back to those. But I would think he would throw an interception. If your guy lets you parlay these. Do you want to know what Tate's favorite prop is? What is is it i don't even know if tate wants me to talk about this because he's a diehard panthers fan panther nation make advantage is it a real one thomas davis five and a half tackles under is even tate thinks doesn't finish the game he's got a broken forearm it is thinks he makes one tackle and then by the second quarter he's out. Right. Which kind of makes

a Denver argument a little bit better, right? Sure. Thomas Davis, one of the three best offensive players. Oh, definitely. Yeah.

You take him out, all of a sudden now you don't have these prowling crazy linebackers because he's going to be out there like Cowboy Bob Orton and I don't see it.

Yeah, I'm with you. Owen Daniels, tough to take down with one arm. You know what would be a good prop is Thomas Davis drops an interception because he has a big plaster cast on his arm.

Yeah, right, right, right. But do you think he'll do like the Iron Mike Sharp, Cowboy Bob Martin clothesline? Iron Mike Sharp. Why wouldn't he, right? Sure. Recently. They let you do that.

Roast in peace. Let me ask you this. This is a good one, and this is in my top five. Yeah. Although it's four picks in itself okay peyton manning zero to 100 yards eight to one 101 to 140 10 to 1 141 to 180 750 181 to 200 plus 750 what was 100 to 140 10 to 1 really yeah don't don't you like two, three of those? All four of them? It serves every aspect of the game.

What if he plays a game like he did against the Pats? He could still be under 200 yards. What if he's terrible and they take him out? He's under 200 yards. What if he gets hurt? Under 200 yards. Like 12 seconds ago, I grunted, and I think it actually got caught by the microphone.

You did? I got so excited. I was was like you might be able to hear those numbers that's pretty good man well here's the other thing what happens if he gets benched or what happens if it's a disaster yeah sure i don't know if carolina's defense well who knows do you you asked me before if i thought they were as good as seattle and i the answer is no right like seattle two years ago i don't think i don't think they're the same team davis hurt jared allen not that he was like the most but it's like they're a little banged up and yeah yeah i just wish i knew how much of that devastation is because they were home because they just got off to a great home

crowd carson palmer during the headlights Probably had a broken finger. All that. And also, what was it? 17-7. Peterson's trying to make a play. Fumble. Yep. That was a classic playoff game where they were better, but that was also a everything went wrong game.

Panthers touchdown, second quarter, minus 180. I like that. You love, this is something minus 180. I like that. You love, this is something you've done in the past. You like those second quarters because you have first quarter, you got some jitters. Right. Some nerves.

Teams are trying to score. You have the two-minute warning at the end. Yeah. The history of the Super Bowl usually is that it takes a little bit. It takes a little while to get going. A little like Paul Giamatti in Billions. That's right. It takes a while.

He needs his wife standing on him, pressing a high heel on his chest. Shout out to Koppelman. Field goals over three and a half, plus 105. Oh. Our guy McManus might get that alone. That's tasty. Yeah.

Let's mark that one down. That's the first one. All right. I also like the Thomas Davis will not make more than five and a half tackles because his arm's broken. Seems like a safe bet. I like that. Because he's got a cast on with a broken forearm. I'm marking that Manning thing down, too, with the low yards.

Just put $10 on that. I have a dumb question, and I'd like to preface it by saying that I graduated with a 3-0 in college, and I got a 3-3 with my master's. Okay. Broken forearm. Is that the top? Is that the part closer to your arm, closer to your hand? Or is it the part higher?

What is wrong with you? Forearm's closer, right, to your hand? This is ridiculous. So what's the part up here? What's that called? That's a bicep. No, no, the bone here. That's a tricep.

No, the bone from your elbow to your shoulder. That's got its own name. It's forearm and then something else. Oh, man. I don't know, but the forearm is definitely below, between the wrist and the elbow. Right. So that's what he broke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the matter with you? What's this arm, though? What's this part of the arm? I'm leaving this in so people can understand that you shouldn't have two kids because they ruin your brain. All right, field goals over three and a half.

Quarterback sacks over five. You think that number's right? 23 times. Tate, how many times does Cam get sacked? Well, he's running, so like. Oh, he's running. Yeah, the runs. Sometimes they get marked.

Good point by Cam. Brady was hit 23 times. That's amazing. I think all you need is two sacks from Carolina. We did have... Three from Carolina. We did have Bob from the Beacon Hill 7-11 playing right tackle in the game.

That's true. I mean, that was a problem. The guys... We didn't even have guys to bring in to sub for the guys who were terrible. That's when. I mean, that was a problem. The guys... We didn't even have guys to bring in to sub for the guys who were terrible. That's when you know

it's gone wrong where it's like, oh, we can't even bench this guy. He ran out. Belichick ran out. Yeah. How about this? Yeah.

First touchdown, jersey number over 22 and a half. Now, you don't get Cam, but you get the tight ends. You get the wide receivers that are not like... You don't get Emmanuel Sanders? You don't get cam but you get the tight ends you get the wide receivers that are not like you don't get emmanuel you don't get emmanuel sanders no you don't get those guys but you get you get jonathan stewart who is also i'm keen on jonathan stewart for mvp 15 to 1 for first touchdown 8 to 1 i think those are good odds for Jonathan Stewart.

Jonathan Stewart? I'm telling you. They run the ball a lot. Jon Stewart. Baby Doll's client. Jon Stewart. Representing football players. Speaking of Baby Doll.

Yeah. How is he not called yet? Nobody loves golf more than our beloved agent, James Baby Doll Dixon, right? He loves golf so much that in 2014, he convinced me to start playing golf again. Well, here's the problem. I'm old. I have no muscle. Which muscle are you talking about?

I don't know where my forearm is. Yeah, I'm so dumb. I can't remember where my forearm is. I have good hand-eye coordination, and that's it. I need help with my drives. Okay. Because I'm old. I don't have really any muscle.

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The new XR driver from Callaway. Forg forgiveness meets fast oh now there's no way you didn't have them send Babydoll one also

or you're gonna have to give them yours you know what I'm tired of Babydoll getting stuff from his clients good I've just had it with that guy good for you

really have just had it with him what does he do for us does that thing have a lighter he negotiates like one deal every five years and then he just badgers us oh you are so lucky he doesn't listen to or watch there's no way he listens you

know he's gonna listen to his assistant who's gonna send him a long email about what we said and then he's gonna call and pretend he listened that's not true bill that's actually i listen to all those i don't want people how do you listen to it baby that don't you worry about that don't you worry about how i listen to this on netflix what are you talking about that. Don't you worry about how I listen to these. I listened on Netflix. What are you talking about? That's how I always listen. All right, back to the props. Here's one. At any time during the telecast,

will the Goodyear blimp land on Peyton Manning's forehead? Yes, 35 to 1. Could that happen? I don't know. Do they have a Manning family crowd shot? I mean, you know, the wide shot where they show the family in the box? That's not in there. Because I saw there was a Steph Curry's outfit prop.

Yes, I saw that. And it had all these different things. And actually, there was one. It was like a Cam Newton jersey. It was nothing. It was like his own Steph Curry thing. And then it was any Carolina jersey was plus 500. Wow.

He has a game that day, right? Yeah, I think he does because he's on the cross prop list. Yeah, he's on the cross prop. So wouldn't he wear his dad's jersey? Yes. Well, you know what? It makes sense. Tate knows James Michael McAdoo, who's on the Warriors.

We'll get inside info. We're going to win on this. We're going to win. Hey, when a bet from somebody we know comes in on this for like $100,000, we have no inside info. No, we don't know anything. Yeah. Speaking of the Manning family,

longest gross punt by Britton Colquitt, 52 and a half yards. Longest gross nose hair by Archie Manning cutaway, 52 and a half yards. Longest gross nose hair by Archie Manning cutaway, 52 and a half yards. It's the same. Gross putt. I actually, I swear to God, I look to see if Colquitt was a Super Bowl MVP odds. What?

Oh, is he not that? He killed the Patriots. I don't know if he's good or not, but he killed Pittsburgh and he killed the Patriots. They had field position in eight of those quarters. And by the way, that's another reason you can make a case for Denver. My thing with Denver is could they win this game without Peyton Manning

really doing anything? Could he just make two throws and make no mistakes and have their defense and special teams win it? I mean, it's going to have to be something stupid. Demarius Thomas is going to have to break a tackle at the 35 and go or something like, oh, my God, that wasn't even Manning. And look, they're winning 14-12 or something. Or Owen Daniels will have to use an out and up move on somebody who's 10 times of his

superior athlete as him and have it work twice in the same half. Something like that. They could be nervous. Something like that. Did that actually happen? That wouldn't happen. You think Jamie Collins is like 10 times a better athlete than Owen Daniels? Or is it like eight?

Was it Butler that... It's Butler on the Patriots, right? The guy who won the Super Bowl last year by the amazing play? He was the one that didn't jump high enough when he should have picked it, but somehow Emmanuel Sanders jumped higher? That was crazy to me,

and that kept that drive going. And then does it bum you out to see him in the Pro Bowl? No, I support all Malcolm Butler. I don't think he... Like what about, just in general, any Patriots playing in the Pro Bowl? You okay with it? I hate the Pro Bowl. You're the only one I know who watches the Pro Bowl. No, I'm all Malcolm Butler. You do? Just in general, any Patriots playing the Pro Bowl, you okay with it?

I hate the Pro Bowl. You're the only one I know who watches the Pro Bowl. No, I'm talking about like, wow, they're really over the game already. They're going wild. Oh, yeah, I do take that personally. It does feel like seeing your ex-girlfriend out on a date with somebody else or something. Yeah, it's weird. You know why he didn't jump that high, though?

Because he had his heavy Super Bowl ring from last year. He had it in his pocket, so he weighted him down. It was a big mistake. He learned his lesson. Peyton Manning pass attempts over 35 and a half. That seems really high. 35 and a half. Wow.

Do you see him throwing 35 and a half passes? No, no. How many? Definitely not, because it's impossible to throw a half pass. Yeah, that's true. It's not going to be 35 and a half. What was it against the Patriots? I don't even remember.

It wasn't 35 and a half. Yeah. I noticed that. Another quarterback one I noticed was Cam's first pass where something happens. Touchdowns minus 200. Interceptions plus 175. Hmm. I don't know which way to go with that.

Yeah, I just thought it was interesting. I don't have an opinion either. They have those. There's a ton. They have Cam over one and a half touchdown passes, minus 140. Yeah. Did you see total picks over one and a half was minus 230? Really?

Vegas is expecting two picks in this game. That's not bad. I like that one. Mark that one down. Total INTs. We're going to see two picks in this game. That's not bad. I like that one. Mark that one down. Total INTs. We're going to see two picks in this game. Over one and a half, minus 230. All right.

Like that. Now, we have to mention perennially one of your favorite bets. Yeah. One team will score three straight times, minus 160. I think you've won this every year for the last uh 52 years it's hit six out of the last seven years you bet it every year the only time it doesn't hit is when the patriots play the giants actually yeah and then uh i just hit myself and it's minus 160 and yeah that's just how these games go right one team comes out of the gate hot or it's a sluggish game and then one little

momentum yeah yeah i love that i love that well we'll do that again all right can i ask you a question do you think the panthers are going to win why not just bet cam newton five to seven to win the mvp just put put 500 put 700 bucks on it to win 500 so that's minus 140 and the one I told you earlier where the Panthers are winning at halftime and then win the game is also minus 140. And I think Cam would get it. But I put a little something, like I said, on Jonathan Stewart. I have another Super Bowl MVP candidate. I'm going to make the case for it.

But Tate might get upset. He might stop the podcast. What is it? So Ted Ginn Jr. And I've seen different odds for this. It's 25 to 1. But I've seen different odds for this it's 25 to 1 but I've seen it higher other places I'm going to walk you through the Ted Ginn Jr.

Super Bowl MVP case first of all those are nice odds because basically let's say it's 25 to 1 you're saying if you play this game 25 times is there one game out of those 25 times I know it's impossible to play the same game 25 times. Is there one game out of those 25 times? I know it's impossible to play the same game 25 times. I'm saying hypothetically in your 538 simulated nerd universe.

You play this 25 times. Is there one of those 25 times where Ted Ginn catches a 60-yard touchdown, gets a punt or a kick return touchdown, and breaks a reverse for like 52 yards. It's too high. And maybe catches one other play. There's a scenario where Ted Ginn Jr. wins this game for the Panthers. Like Desmond Howard style a little bit.

I like that. That's fine. Tate? Just not? Tate nots. But then for Cam to not win it, that would have to be all that kind of happened in the game. Excuse me.

I don't think, yeah, that was not a Kavita. That was a Diet Dr. Pepper. There you go. So I don't think an offensive, I know you're bullish on James Stewart, but the Patriots and the Steelers couldn't really run on them either. I don't see anyone running on them. I don't think, so how are the Patriots going really run on them either. I don't see anyone running on them. I don't think... So how are the Patriots going to run on them?

That's a good point. Steelers are down to our third string. Do you say that because we had no offensive line in our fifth string running back? Yeah, something like that. Here's another one. Oh, unexpected artist to join Beyonce at the halftime show.

Jay-Z even. Rihanna, 5-2. Timberlake, 4-1. Steven Avery, 35-1. Steven Avery? How many people does the coin toss? Bill Cosby, 60-1. Oh, that's too low.

Abe Vigoda, 175-1. Yeah, I'm still not convinced he's dead. No? Yeah. Have we seen the body? If he shows up, that'd be great. Do you remember Letterman? You watched Letterman in the 80s, right?

Yeah. He was joking about Abe Vigoda being dead in the 80s. I saw that thing. I was in high school. Did you tweet that? Was that you that tweeted that? I think I might have retweeted. When he was in the booth with Hal Gurney?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Terrific. I love it. Yeah, how old was he back then? He was so old back then, everyone. That was a running joke. What a life. Now, here's one that I think we should do. Yeah. Yeah, how old was he back then? He was so old back then, everyone, that was a running joke. What a life.

Now, here's one that I think we should do. Yeah. And it's been discussed, and the odds have shifted. It's somewhere between plus 145 and plus 125 for yes. Will Mike Carey be wrong? To me, this is like, I feel like I'm stealing. Yeah. Every CBS game i've watched that mike carey has done he's been wrong yeah he interprets whatever the call is completely wrong

and it's a running joke and everybody has a good laugh and it's it's gotten to the point where he did it with my team where they let's go to mike let's see what happened there and whatever his scenario was would have been bad for the patriots. I'm like, this is great. We're going to win the challenge. Mike Carey thinks we're losing. What if he says, you know what, guys? I appreciate you going to me, but I've been wrong all year. I'm just going to pass.

I'm passing. I'm not going to comment on any of these. Guys, much like Peyton Manning, I'm retiring after the game. I know there's a lot of money against me right now. I was 5 for 40 this season. So good. Well, I think that's stealing money to if you're getting positive money on him being wrong during a game i don't know how we don't do that talk about stealing money this is i'm not screwing around i know i've read a few that are kind of out of left field but will there be an earthquake during the game? 10 to 1. This was a really morbid... I know.

I thought this was the most morbid prop bet ever because in the 89 World Series, before game two, there was an earthquake and it was like one of the most deadliest earthquakes in American history and completely demolished the Bay Area and was like truly awful. Yeah.

So how is this a prop? Well, and also you're not at 10 to 1. Something that's going to happen in a three and a half hour span. It's just that's criminal odds. Like, that's the worst earthquake insurance you could take out, 10 to 1. And you can't bet the no, either. If you bet yes on this, that has to be the worst karma you could ever insure for yourself. Well, I did bet yes, and I put you in on it, too.

So, case of Ross Ross. Did you see the Manning will retire right after the game odds was yes, plus 500, and no, 1,000. I have a take on this, and I think we should mark this down. The man has too big of an ego to retire after the game. He's going to want to milk it for a couple days before he leaks it to Adam Schefter. I agree. And I say that with all due respect. He just knows how to market himself.

He's smart. I don't think he's going to just jump on that moment to get out right after the game. He's going to want the 72-hour stage. He could, though, retire and then un-retire. He could retire and then he's playing for the Texans next year. True. He'd like a boxer. I could see him doing that too.

Wouldn't it? My scenario, and there's no way to bet on this because I looked, is Denver wins. Jim Nance, they have to clean up Jim Nance and he's wearing like one of those outfits like in the nuclear reactor movies when they leak. Sounds gross. He's just protective suit right to make sure nobody else gets contaminated with the fluids yes he asked peyton manning uh so peyton what is it old buddy are you walking off in the sunset are you retiring peyton manning says no i'm not retiring

but i think phil sims should phil i think it's time and then phil sims announces his retirement oh that'll be good and then america rejoices we have another year of peyton manning and no more phil sims there's no way you could bet yeah oh they'll put that up i bet i can get someone to put that up like bulldozer i don't whatever i can you know what i'm gonna talk that's a good one phil sims not painting phil sims will be convinced by peyton manning to retire after the game. Well, Peyton, we talked about it. We talked about it earlier, and it's time for me to go. This is a stupid one. Will Denver, and this is true, will Denver win Super Bowl? Manning retires.

Spurs win NBA title. Duncan retires. Oh, it's a four-team parlay. This is one of Tate's favorites. 20-1. 20-1. That's all that is for that? So the Spurs are 3-1 to win the NBA title.

First of all, that should be higher. I know we have them at a nice number. We have them at 10-1. 10-1. That's one of our... Two years in a row, we might have made the greatest NBA bets ever. I know, but they're not. I don't know.

Oh, you're wrong. What are you talking about? The Spurs are good. They're good? You liked what you saw against Golden State? They don't care about the regular season. I don't know. And then they lost the next one.

I just, maybe you're right. But 20 to 1 is low. Don't panic about this, Bruce. Might as well add Huckabee wins the election. It's so stupid the way they stream this together. Did you watch any of the Iowa caucus last night? We're taping this on a Tuesday. Very little.

Very little. They kept showing the numbers. And it was Hillary Clinton 49.8 and the other one 49.6. And O'Malley was just 0.0. Oh, yeah. And I kept thinking, like, at some point, does he call and just be like, hey, guys, can you just take me off? Stop doing that. Just keep it Clinton and Sanders.

0.0. It's got, it's. It's the animal house. Imagine, like, spending that much time running for election and you just literally don't connect with one voter. Right. You're shaking hands, you're getting coffee, and you're just 0.0. I mean, that's it, though.

Isn't it a lot for a lot of these guys and girls? It's just to try to further your status in the speaking engagement realm. People are just backing you with money. They know you're not going to win, but your status is higher now for you can charge bernie sanders is my favorite my favorite uh i love his speeches yeah i'm not saying i'm for or against him but just in his speeches he's like and when i'm president free blow jobs for everybody in the crowd it's a great bernie and i'm just everybody going to be able to take out money from the bank for free.

Again, our friend Daniel's a big Bernie Sanders fan. He's the best. It's like he has, I've never heard him explain how any of this is going to happen, but it sounds awesome. Right. I really, I really enjoy it. I know. I love his speeches.

We do have money on Rubio, which is looking good right now. Plus 650 for Rubio. That's great. And he's the favorite now, the Republicans. He's the favorite now? Yeah. Even though he lost to Cruz. Well, didn't Santorum won four years ago, which I had forgotten.

Had won what? Iowa? He won Iowa. Oh, yeah. I was like, yeah. Yeah, he didn't even win, and he became the favorite. He flip-flopped with Trump. All right.

Back to what counts. No extra points missed. Minus 360. That's a win. Nobody misses extra points anymore. Minus 360 for no extra points? No extra points missed. So I looked at that, and you're thinking this is the year where the missed extra

points have been so crucial, and of course it's going to happen during the Super Bowl, but those odds are crazy. How many missed extra points were there? Oh, there were a lot. You're saying that's too high. No, I just think it's maybe one out of every 12 are going to be missed. Right.

Or one out of every 15 or something like that. You add nerves and everything. The weather should be fine. I thought that was going to be like minus 1,000. Everybody makes all their extra points. 71 missed extra points this season. Tate says 71 missed extra points. 71 out of what, over a thousand?

200,000. Yeah. That's a lot. I don't remember the last time someone missed an extra point. Honestly. I'm going to break my forearm if anyone misses an extra point. If you could find it. I don't know where it is in my body, but once I figure it out.

All right. Oh, here's a good one. Odds that a puppy or Betty White appear in a Super Bowl commercial, minus 600. Odds that a puppy, Betty White, and a jar of peanut butter appear in the same commercial, minus 7,500. Did you make those up? No, that one I minus 7,500. Did you make those up? No, that, that one I made up.

Yeah. They should have a puppy hump Betty White's leg would be like the viral video the next day. Right? Yeah. That's passable too. I've been meaning to tell you something for a while. Go ahead.

The Simmons family, not, not me, but, but the wife and the kids, they really liked the James Corden carpool karaoke. Oh, stop. I wanted you to hear it from me.

I didn't want you to hear it from somebody else. No, why are you letting them watch that? Well, it's not at the same time. They saw it on viral. Yeah. I was more upset that they liked English people. It wasn't even like a late night Jimmy competitor thing. The Adele thing up there.

I know you were razzing our agent, James Babydoll Dixon, about it. I was. I was. Because he represents Colbert. I was. I want you to hear that from me. I wanted to get around. I think you secretly like it, too.

I think that was a facade you just put on. No, you know what I realized is that I'm attracted to Adele. You are? I realized that during Carpool Karaoke. Yeah, I am. All right. I'm not going to apologize either. Good. I'm not going to apologize either. Good.

I'm not going to apologize for anything today in this podcast. All right. Here's something. Okay. Here's how Patriots fans, Boston fans can get back into it. Celtics minus 38 and a half points over Demarius Thomas' yards. Who do the Celtics play? I think Sacramento.

Oh. That would be a high-scoring game. Sacramento can't guard anybody. All right, so let's say they get 90. Actually, it would have to be high-scoring. Mark that one up. Okay. Who's Josh Norman covering?

Everybody. I think that's his man. i think it would be demarius uh also laker spurs margin of victory plus one and a half over denver carolina first half points how many points did denver carolina score in the first half 20 i mean the history of the superbowl says kind of an ugly disjointed first half maybe a score at the end yeah it seems like less than 20 less than 20 late Spurs should be the Lakers by more than that it's a tough one but how do you know like the Spurs might do the thing where they bench everyone on the team and it's like hey Jonathan Simmons is starting they will if only if we bet the Spurs will they do that. We have the power to swing that one.

What else? Oh, wait, hold on. You know, I keep telling you that it's time to get your life organized with LegalZoom. You're right. And we go through this little checklist every time. So let's go through it again. Do you have a family? Yes, I think still. Do you have assets?

Not as many as you did two weeks ago, but you have assets. Do you have assets? Not as many as you did two weeks ago, but you have assets. Do you have property? Yeah. Do you have time to figure out on your own whether a will or a living trust works best for you? I don't think you do. You've got a lot of gigs. No, you don't.

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Yeah. Well, you listen to Adele's carpool. You have three kids. I don't have an estate plan. I'm attracted to Adele. Since LegalZoom is not a law firm, you can count on efficiency and value. You'll know what your estate plan bundle costs up front instead of worrying about hourly rates. That's how LegalZoom became the leader in helping small business owners and families

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This is weird. You know what I do? You know where your heart is? It's right below your forearm. It's right next to my forearm, right? Yeah. I do like body English chicks. Manning longest completion,

under 34 and a half yards. Oh, God. Well, it's going to be one of his ridiculous pseudo Hail Mar marys where he throws it for grabs and somebody jumps up and catches it we gotta mark that though right you think under or over under and he's not gonna do that he's not gonna do what unless there's like a broken tat like a crazy like we talked about yeah i'm so afraid of i know this is so stupid he's like this just he's like the guy at the end of

the end of Terminator or Terminator 2 when Schwarzenegger's body he's walking toward the lava pit things are falling off his body the best part is on Monday's podcast we're going to be able to say I knew it oh yeah we've covered

no matter what well you have to make a pick on Thursday on one of the sports networks. How about this? How many boners created nationwide by Danica Patrick in her GoDaddy commercial? Over a half. Is she still doing those? No, she's done this year. Last year was her last year. Did they upgrade

to somebody a little more relevant? I guess she is still relevant though, right? No, I think she is. People like auto racing. Well, ask Louis K. Covert creative does not represent Danica Patrick. Oh, how about this one? Go ahead.

It's been the year of the wonky score, right? It's been the year of Miss PATs, all these different things. A successful two-point conversion is plus 330. Yeah. So good for a lot of different reasons, right? I meant to look at how many of those. That brings in your miss PAT possibility. That brings in your I'm down 34 to 10 and I just scored

and I want to make it a two-possession game. I'm going to go for it. Cam Newton, a lot of field goals, two points. Yeah. I thought those were pretty good odds. That's pretty good. Be fun to root for. Yeah.

That's a good one. It feels like a bet that we're going to make, and we're going to watch the game together, and they're going to line up for the two-point, and we're going to be celebrating, and then somebody will drop it. It'll hit Ted Ginn in the face, bounce off his forearm. Yeah. And we're going to be celebrating and then somebody will drop it. It'll hit Ted Ginn in the face, bounce off his forearm. Wherever that was.

There'll be a full start and they'll kick the extra point. How about Broncos score in all four quarters? No is minus 360. Yes is plus 280. They're not going to score in all four quarters. We're parlaying that with something. That's ludicrous. Mark that one down. What else do you got?

Oh, how about field for first TD? The Brandon Stokely bet. They've caught on. It's now six to one. Those odds are terrible. It's six to one. They have more listed than ever. Some of the fans are listed in that, though.

Right? Some of the fans. Jim Belushi's in there for some reason. How about this? Exactly two points scored by Carolina. 5,001. How exciting will the first 10 minutes be in that game? I mean, you're going to lose, but it'd be great.

5,001. I'd like to put 10,000 on the dumbest bet. Tate pointed this one out, and I like it. And Tate did a good job with his picks for me. Over two and a half players will attempt to pass plus 175. Interesting. So that brings in a receiver reverse, something funky. It brings in a backup QB. Right right it brings in an injury and yet i

don't i don't love the odds i wish the odds were a little higher i how about over one and a half under one and a half one and a half should be the same odds i like that that bet's really interesting though because yeah but i was thinking like tate who would throw a wide receiver pass on the panthers mike tober yeah tough tobert would throw it so denver's would be sanders maybe i think so he handles the reverses and stuff like that yeah um maybe it'll be owen daniel since the guy's like superman do everything you're doing everything um did you see this one? This is real. How many times will the Golden Gate Bridge be shown during the telecast? I saw that. It was like five? No, over a half is minus 400.

They only have to show it once. Is there a bet for how many times will I say to you during the four quarters that I wish we had Michaels and Collinsworth? Because the over-under of that is seven and a half. You've already said it three times in this podcast. Jim, we talked about it.

Cam Newton could beat you in so many ways. I hate them more because they were openly rooting for the Broncos. Yeah.

They just were. And then it's like, wow, it's almost like Jim Nance and Peyton Manning have the same agent. It's like, oh,

they do? Oh, okay. You know what drives me crazy? You don't watch Inside the NFL anymore, but they've been doing this for years, so you know what I'm talking about. Don't sleep on me watching Inside the NFL once in a while. Yeah, I torture myself with the Patriots-Broncos highlights.

Brandon Marshall's terrific. He is really good. He's on an island. So they'll say, like, Osias, and they'll be like, I'm taking the Patriots this game over the Broncos. They have too much offense. Tom Brady will get it together. Phil? Phil will be like, well, you know I'm calling the game, so I can't tell you who i'm taking the patriots this game over the broncos they have too much offense tom brito will get it together phil phil like well you know i'm calling the game so i can't tell i can't tell you who i'm saying okay fine we know we know by now you can't take it but when they have

their weekly uh standings they they all pick phil has a record they all have the same record they he eventually picks the game he just doesn't say it out loud secret so it's like what what's the point of not picking the game i understand like you don't want people saying oh you're rooting for the patriot the broncos during the telecast but you do eventually pick the game and it's on the it's on the showtime website who you pick even more ridiculous what's worse phil sims picking the game or jim nance and pete manning having the same. What's worse, Phil Simms picking the game or Jim Nance and Peyton Manning having the same agent? What's worse? That is true. What's a bigger conflict of interest?

Jimmy and Colbert having the same agent? That's good. Well, that was orchestrated perfectly. Oh, what about this? Okay, at any Super Bowl party this year, will Dickie Barrett post an unauthorized photo of a Boston celebrity on the Mighty Mighty Boston's website? Oh, man.

That was a scab that just got ripped off. 18 to 1 odds. Oh, my God. I think he can do it. You love it. He has to do it. It's an annual tradition now. You're turning beet red.

Your forearms, everything. My forearm just pulsating. I didn't realize we could rip that scab off, but that's all right. It's good. Pretty general. Affleck doesn't even remember. I love it. Shortest touchdown of the game.

One and a half yards over is even. I look back at the last 10 years. One and a half yards. It is pretty even. Last 10 Super Bowls bowls i think it's five and five because the thing you have to worry about is the pass interference in the end zone we have to wrap this up soon because i know we'll go let's go through the rest because i don't have too much because then we have to do the gary russell memorial uh that's it super bowl prop

of yes which dates way way back we have to tell the story it's a whole tradition all right um all right I'll read. Yeah, rip through a couple more of these. Let's see. The Golden Gate Bridge. Oh, something has Will Peyton Manning cry in the post-game telecast. Now, this is something our friend Daniel will bet, and then he'll argue with me until March Madness

about whether he should get paid on this. Whether he actually cried or not? Yeah, like one stupid blogger will say in the whole country. There were tears in his eyes? Yeah, no, he cried. Six to one odds, but that is real. Will the announcers mention Kubiak was Elway's backup? Yes, plus 120.

Oh, that's a lock. There's no way they're not mentioning that. Like during the game? Yeah. Or after, right? They'll have to mention that. I can't believe Gary Kubiak's coaching a super bowl yeah and it's gary cubiac against ron rivera oh man it's unbelievable how are those our two super bowl coaches this is what happens actually right

ron rivera is good now but man was he shaky yeah a couple years um extra point, kickoff return. What else? I think that's about it. Right? I mean, at this point, they should have... I mean, I like Stewart over 66 and a half rushing yards. If they're going to have the earthquake bet, they should have, like, who's the first player to, like, a concussion bet. If we're going to get that morbid,

might as well bring in concussions and all that stuff. Yeah, they will. How about who's the first player who allegedly passed the concussion protocol when he clearly didn't? The Julian Edelman Award. Yeah. That's Owen Daniels. How about this?

Panthers rushing touchdown in the first half, plus 155. See, I'm all over Stewart and Cam too much. I feel like I know what you're going to do on that large sports network. Yeah. I feel like I know where you're leaning. C.J. Anderson. No, because I also like C.J. Anderson. Minus 21 and a half yards rushing over Cam rushing.

All right. It's time for the Gary Russell prop. We're really running out. I'm just ready. No, no no i'm just ready for it i really it's like my favorite it's the greatest moment in the history of the podcast now i'm not great on these but what was the first year we did this was arizona pittsburgh it was 2009 10 that was dallas whatever it is yeah all right so no that's too no that was it was at jimmy's old house like eight yeah it was like february 2009 all right and you you did this whole preamble right about how gary russell it's my obscure prop pick of the year yeah you set it up i had no idea what you're doing and it was gary russell who was this obscure guy. What was he, a fullback or a running back?

He was like a fullback. They didn't even know. They didn't even give him a position. And it was like under how many yards, rushing yards for him? No, no. Wasn't it that he will not score a touchdown? That's what it was. Gary Russell will not score a touchdown.

And for some reason, that was like minus 170. I was like, oh oh my god this guy never scores and we late and we were like how is that so low all that stuff yeah yeah and not only did he score a touchdown he scored the first touchdown and we're at this party and we don't know a lot of the people there and one of the other people starts laughing yeah because he had heard the podcast right and we're like we'll never talk This was when podcasts weren't really a thing yet. It was like, wow, you heard our podcast? We were just completely confused.

And then at another party, I learned that the same thing happened. Someone laughed when Gary Russell scored and a guy and a girl just started talking about it in our podcast and that guy and girl ended up getting married. Yeah, that's a true story. Right, they met.

Two listeners of the podcast, one heard the other laughing, sparked up a conversation. Gary Russell, they should name the kid Gary Russell, whoever that is, right? Yeah, right, definitely. I mean, I have better luck getting people together than The Bachelor does.

The Bachelor's been on for how many years, and they have never gotten anyone married or maybe once. If either of those people are listening, they should, there's a contact form at billsimmonspodcast.com.

Yeah. And you should email us the whole story and we'll read it on the last pod because I'd like to know all the details. To be like,

ah, we actually got divorced. Right. No one lasts seven years anymore. Come on. But anyway, so this year, in the past, I've had Coon on the Packers. Yeah. Like over yards. Who, so this year, in the past I've had Kuhn on the Packers,

like over yards. Who was the tight end for the Patriots last year with the crazy vowels? Oh, Michael Humama. Yeah, he didn't do it. He was under seven and a half yards or whatever he needed. I would say you're two and five that time.

I'm not very good with these. You're either two and five or one and six. Henry Hanowski was a good win for the Giants. The only win when the Giants are in. Here it is. 2016 obscure prop of the year. Take through the drums.

Here we go. Carolina Panthers. Fozzie Whitaker over five and a half rushing receiving yards combined. Wow, that's low. Fozzie.

That's really exciting. What do you think, Tate? Fozzie Whitaker., that's low. Fozzie. That's really exciting. What do you think, Tate? I didn't even get Foz out of my mouth, and Tate gave me the fist pump. I like that. I thought he was out for the year. Didn't he get hurt in one of the playoff games? No, God forbid.

I thought he hurt his forearm. Maybe I should read off him on that one. Fozzie Whitaker. No, wait, wait. I might have a different... Sal's not even selling the forearm jokes anymore. Oh, yeah. All right.

I see what you're saying. I see. No, he's not hurt. He's playing. He's a third string. Didn't it seem like he, in that first game, right, Tate? He got hurt. Yeah.

Tate needs a mic. He was limited. Yeah, he's limited. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's got at least six yards in him. Let me tell you.

He's back. Nine. He did not do anything in the playoffs. But nine of the 13 games he's played, he's gone over five and a half yards. I like him. He's shifty. Yeah. One of these guys gets hurt.

He's in. And Brent Musburger in the Baylor-Texas game this week mentioned Fozzie Whitaker. I don't know why. I don't think he even knows why he mentioned him during a basketball game. But that is a moment. That really happened? That really happened. Yesterday they played.

He mentioned them. And I've been following him on Instagram. He proposed at SeaWorld. But that is a moment. That really happened? That really happened. Yesterday they played. He mentioned them. And I've been following him on Instagram. He proposed at SeaWorld. He wished his one-year-old puppy a happy birthday. I'm telling you, screw these Super Bowls. The third-string running back will have over five and a half yards. Do it, Fozzie Whitaker.

Former Cleveland Brown. Amazing. You've done it again. Thank you. You've done it again. It feels like two and six, but you've done it again.'ve done it again it feels like two and six but you've done it again no no it could be good you need this i like the fozzie whitaker very excited about fozzie are you worried at all about your own tortured history with the carolina panthers and super bowls what do you mean oh with the panthers patriots yeah yeah uh february 2004

right uh the the super bowl that everyone only remembers only remembers because Janet Jackson's nipple kind of popped out. But you did a hidden camera bit with John Casey. Not a hidden camera. What was it? Well, it was media day, and I showed up dressed as a Carolina Panther because they're all wearing their uniforms. I dressed in John Casey's uniform, and I convinced people that I was John Casey. And you had like a couple foreign journalists talking to you. The foreign journalists all fell for it.

Four or five American journalists fell for it. That actually was one of the five funniest things I've ever seen you do. And I was talking about John Casey, you know, I'm going to be fine. People are going to talk about how I was at this strip club last night doing this, but I put that all aside. John Casey catches wind of this.

He's a born-again Christian. Yeah, he didn't like it. Not happy with this. Not happy at all. You were escorted out of the area. I was banned from Media Day. We should mention, though, this was February 2004. Media Day was a thing, but the internet wasn't crazy back then like it was now.

And you could actually get away with it. Now there's no way. There's too many people there. Damoshek retweeted your column from the next day or whenever you wrote. I wrote a whole column about it. That's right. When did he do that? I don't know.

Monday, Tuesday. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the catch to the story is the Panthers score the game-tying touchdown after Brady throws the worst pick of his entire career when we're up seven. They come down. They score the game-tying one. Casey kicks the ball out of bounds. Not even close.

Yeah. It's probably not only is it the worst kickoff in the history of the Super Bowl, it's one of the worst kickoffs in the history of professional football. Sets the Pats up at the 40, and we get the game-winning field goal. We win. Yeah. And all the Panther fans are like, oh, damn you, Cousin Sal. You did this.

Well, I could have been their kicker. It would have worked out better if they just would have let me play. What Super Bowl was that, Houston? That was in Houston. We were there for weeks. That was fun. We did the – Jimmy had – we had the house. We did a show Houston? That was in Houston. We were there for weeks. That was fun. We did the, Jimmy had, we had the house. We did a show from somebody's house in Houston.

Yeah, that was a good time. It was great. The light rail was hitting people. That's right. That's right. I did, I blogged from the Super Bowl. I called it the Super Blog. I was like, I have this idea.

I'm going to blog from the Super Bowl. Now I'm doing your invitation to me. The Super Blog. You got to work on your sentence. I thought that was I have this idea. I'm going to blog from the Super Bowl. Now I'm doing your imitation of me. The Superblog. You got to work on your sentence. And you thought that was the funniest thing ever. The Superblog, I'm blogging. That was my favorite thing you did when you would do the pictures and the captions underneath. That was the first.

That was terrific. First or second year I did it, yeah. But I wrote like, that Super Bowl started out, and I wrote about this. Because we were working for Jimmy Kimmel, we had the first class travel for the Writers Guild. Right, right. When you're flying. And I was on one row, and Paul Raff was in another row.

And I decided to switch seats to sit with Paul, who was one of the writers of Jimmy's show. And the seat I moved from, sitting next to that person who took my seat, Jacqueline Smith, Charlie's Angels. Really? Yeah. One of the five hottest people of our entire life. And I could have sat next to her for three and a half hours, Jacqueline Smith.

And instead, I was next to Paul Raff. Oh, that's rough. It was tough. That's rough. It was tough. I have a lot of regrets. Probably goosebumps all over your forearm. She looked great, too.

Well, she looked awesome. Did she? So good. And this was like, what, 20 plus years after Charlie's Angels? Oh, definitely. Easily. All this stuff is somewhere buried in my archives that they'll destroy at some point. We're really old.

So what props did we actually settle on? I don't know. I wasn't paying attention. We like the Broncos not to score in all four quarters. I like McManus 101 MVP. I might actually put something on that. That's crazy, but we might as well put something on that. It's too insane not to happen.

I really like the Manning low numbers for passing. That was great. I really like that. 0-100, 8-1, 101-140, 10-1. Ted Gain dropping a pass, minus 120. I like that one. Now, we're going to have trouble like that. 0-100, 8-1, 101-140, 10-1. Ted Gain dropping a pass, minus 120. I like that one. Now, we're going to have trouble with that. If something's a fingertip.

That's true. Stay away. I don't like the interpretations. Mike Carey being wrong. It's either plus 125 or plus 145. I can't put enough money on that. Okay. And I don't think Manning retires.

I might put something on that, even though the odds are terrible. Okay. I just think he milks it. We like Thomas Davis under five and a half. Oh, yeah. That's my favorite. I'm doing that one. That's the one you like.

Yeah. Five and a half. All right. And don't we like field goals over three and a half maybe? Yes. That's a plus 105. We like that one too. All right.

And Fozzie, mother effing Whitaker, over five and a half rushing receiving yards. That is a great one. Before you give your plugs, can I go get my son? Because he's going to quickly talk about Roman Reigns. Yeah, okay. Let's do it. All right, very quickly, my son happens to be here. And the last time he was here,

he told us what was going to happen in the Royal Rumble. Right. Right? You predicted. You were wrong? What were you wrong about? Triple H won. We didn't see the the Royal Rumble. Right. Right? You predicted. You were wrong? What were you wrong about? Triple H won. We didn't see the Triple H thing coming.

No. So now Triple H is in WrestleMania. What are your feelings on Triple H? I don't like him. And there's this fatal three-way match. What's going to happen on it? Probably like extreme rules. Yeah.

No, in the next pay-per-view, Fastlane, Roman Reigns, Brock Lesnar, and Dean Ambrose. Who you like. And whoever wins that match is in WrestleMania against Triple H. I think it's going to be Brock Lesnar. He's going to come back with the title, probably. You think Brock Lesnar goes and beats Triple H? That's what I think. How upset were you in the Royal Rumble?

He had the number one spot in Royal Rumble because we did our Royal Rumble poll. So we had Reigns. My dad had number 30, Triple H. Right. And Triple H threw Roman Reigns out. Right. You didn't cry, but you came close.

Yes, I did. And there might have been some F-bombs. You can't swear in the house. I didn't see the F-bombs. I said the S-bombs. You said a couple S-bombs. You't swear in the house i didn't see the f-bombs no you totally you said a couple s-bombs i'm setting them up right now s-bombs are totally better all right can you make your prediction for us wait a minute did you say you got angry at your dad at one point you did you got angry you might have punched your sister you shouldn't punch your sister i got mad at her because she was making fun of me i know but that that you don't resort to't punch your sister. I got mad at her because she was making fun of me.

I know, but you don't resort to violence with your sister. Your sister's going to protect you later. Anyway, anyway. Okay, go ahead. Give us your WrestleMania preview quickly. I think the New Day is going to fight against the Usos for the championships. He likes the New Day. All right.

No, I don't. I hate them. What are you talking about? You're rooting for the... Oh, you like the Usos more. Yeah. I think the Usos are going to win the titles. Okay. That's it? And there might be an Intercontinental Championship match with Kevin Owens and Dean Ambrose.

Dean Ambrose might lose it tonight. To Kevin Owens what about the new guy AJ Styles I think he's going against The Miz oh The Miz they're setting that one up is Daniel Bryan coming back or no I think he might come

for the Andre remote so you think Brock Lesnar is our WWE champion at Wrestlemania in Dallas Texas ok thanks for the update can I just say something about Ben So you think Brock Lesnar is our WWE champion at WrestleMania in Dallas, Texas? Okay. Wait, Dallas, Texas? Thanks for the update. That'll be fun.

Can I just say something about Ben? Yeah. I love this kid, and he's shirtless right now, and he's scaring me. He's always shirtless. He looks like he's so built. How old are you? You're nine? I'm eight.

Eight. You're only eight. He looks like Chris Pratt training for a superhero movie. For God's sakes. You're afraid of your son. Bye, Ben. Thank you. Thanks for your time. See you, Ben. Don't kill us. We bought him a superhero movie. For God's sakes. You're afraid of your son. Bye, Ben. Thank you. Thanks for your time. See you, Ben.

Don't kill us. We bought him a wrestling dummy, but it was something that people use for MMA wrestlers. Right. And a gymnastics mat. And all he does is do diving, macho man, savage elbows and stuff

on this wrestling dummy. It's the greatest $120 I've ever spent on that. Literally, it was the best gift I've ever given anyone. He just beats the hell out on this wrestling dummy. It's the greatest $120 I've ever spent on that. Like literally, it was the best gift I've ever given anyone. He just beats the hell out of this wrestling dummy. In two years from now, he'll be able to beat me in a fight. He'll be 10, I'll be like, oh no. He's going to forearm smash the hell out of you. You're going like, oh, that's a forearm.

Oh, I see. Yeah, he has more muscle tone than I do. And I'll tell you what, he has so much muscle, he does not need the Callaway driver. Oh, I see. Thanks to Callaway for sponsoring today's podcast. Thanks, Callaway. Oh, wait.

You have to do your things. Do your plugs. Oh, Jimmy Kimmel Live. Watch all week. And then, you know what? I forgot to write down who's on. That's all right. It'll be good shows.

Just watch. It'll be good. And yes, Thursday night, SportsCenter, I'll give my Super Bowl pick as if anyone cares. You lost a lot of momentum in round three. I did. It's all right. It's playoffs.

It happens. One game left, and that's it. At the Cousin Sal for Twitter. And then we'll have a podcast on Monday, rehashing the Super Bowl, and hopefully we won't have to defend our friend Dickie Barrett for misusing social media again. And we'll go over

our NBA bets if you want. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we have a lot outstanding. Thanks to Callaway for sponsoring today's podcast. Remember, they worked with the world's

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hotter face face extremely forgiving tell your face visit CallawayGolf.com for more information on the new XR driver from Callaway forgiveness beats fast I have a Jeff Ross point to make after I read the rest of this thanks to LegalZoom.com

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Download the HBO Now app. Start your free one month trial today and thanks to c geek the presenting sponsor of the bs podcast and channel 33 subscribe to both podcasts on itunes stitcher or soundcloud jeff ross pretended um he was honored when the new york post did the abe vagoda roast in peace. Oh yeah. Headline. I know, I know, I know he felt like they stole it. You felt, uh,

he did a Facebook post about, he's like, thanks to, for paying tribute to my joke about it. But guys, and now, now you're mad. They took your,

they took your joke. It doesn't work like that. Roast in peace is basically his trademark. He went to the funeral and roasted a dead man, like in front of the relatives and everything at the funeral. No, he didn't. I think so. I think that's what he... Remember he emailed us?

I thought he was kidding. He actually did that? No, yeah, because that's what that article was about. Comedians are going to go and, like I said, some special... Because I emailed how Abe

never should have crossed Barzini. He's like, can I use that? I'm using that. That's great. I was like using... I thought he... He was actually going. Yeah, he's going. I don't know. I was like using, I thought he was actually going.

Yeah, he's going. I don't know if they're actually throwing the dirt on him, but sometime around the funeral, he was roasting April Gilder in front of his bed. One more thing. Yeah. I want to say good job by you, but I want to, I think I emailed you the Chris Russo crazy, crazy meltdown. That was amazing.

The trivia meltdown. First of all, that trivia contest he has for super bowl tickets and i know it should be fairly difficult because it's super bowl tickets but it's preposterous it's like name the last green bay pack of linemen announced during the super bowl the by the pa announcer like and someone gets it wrong and he freaks out like no one maybe you know Forrest Gregg. He's going nuts on people. It's not Jerry Kramer! It's not Jerry Kramer! We said it's not Jerry Kramer

for God's sake! And he won't curse, but he comes so close. It's so good. Look it up if you can. Yeah, that was great. Well, that's it. Super Bowl coming. Alright. We're gonna win, I think. I think we're going to win money this time. Oh, not a chance.

No? But it'll be fun. All right. Good job, man. Good job, man. We about this bitch. Anytime y'all want to see me again, rewind this track right here. Close your eyes.

Pitching me rolling.