The Bill Simmons Podcast - Ep. 96: Michael Rapaport

Episode Date: May 4, 2016

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Michael Rapaport to discuss Harvey Keitel's 'Cop Land' advice, the Knicks and David Blatt (13:00), Prince's "stickman" credentials (17:00), MJ's fashion sense (25:00), LeBron's teammate potential (31:00), Cavs-GSW (40:00), Dwight Howard's next stop (46:00), Dr. J's legacy (50:00), Matt Dillon's longevity (1:03:00), and 'Rocky' revisited (1:06:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode of the BS Podcast is brought to you by SeatGeek, our presenting sponsor and the only fan-friendly app for buying and selling tickets for sports and music. Other sites have the nasty habit of showing you lower prices and charging you huge fees at checkout. At SeatGeek, the price you see is always the price you pay, and you can get everything done through your phone. To start using SeatGeek, download the free SeatGeek app or go to SeatGeek.com. Today's episode is also brought to you by Callaway, the presenting sponsor of the Shack House podcast with Jeff Shackelford and Joe House.

That is the number one golf podcast on iTunes right now. Don't forget to subscribe to the ringers new NBA show and the ringers new NFL show. Our two brand new podcasts that debuted at number one and number two on iTunes and then stayed in those spots for five solid days. I hosted the ringers first NBA show and I had Howard Beck from Bleacher Report as my guest. This was not a BS podcast. It was not on this feed. You can only hear it on the Ringers NBA show feed So subscribe now on iTunes, Stitcher, SoundCloud And by the way, the NFL show already had two fantastic NFL draft podcasts

With Kevin Clark and Robert Mays Two young boys that are very good at what they do I highly recommend those podcasts The Ringers NBA show, the Ringers NFL show. Subscribe right now. And we're off. He's back. The man who owns the F-bomb record

for the BS podcast. And I would advise you, if you're driving your kids to school right now and you're like, oh, I'll put in the BS podcast. And I would advise you if you're driving your kids to school right now and you're like, oh, I'll put in the Simmons podcast. It'll be a nice listen for the whole family. I'd probably advise against that because this man's coming in hot. He's Michael Rapaport.

He's hot. I can see it. I can see the smoke rising. The fact that you tell the people to get rid of the women and children is is is not good i didn't tell them to get rid of them i just said just think about it i say it's not like i'm on your podcast saying cocksucker and derogatory shit like every now and then fuck boom i know you're excited to be on hbo yeah i don't even think you should say fuck on there i just think

it's beneath you you have a you have a you have a gift for gab you have a you know you're you're a pensman you know you know how to write leave leave it to the animals you know i mean you don't need to do it maybe one every now and then i think it's beneath you it's predictable like wait till like show number nine i was gonna feed a baby to a wild pack of dogs in the first episode yeah that's good because that's the standard now you got to do something um you got to do something. I just want to point out to the listeners, Bill's got an assistant. We're in a whole new studio. He's got new posters.

This is my office. We don't even have this. The next time we do this, we're going to be in a real studio. Office. There's flatties all over the place. There's new art. Everybody's feeling good. The Swayze Roadhouse cardboard stand.

He's smiling at you. He's approving. Everything is good. This is a complete upgrade, and I'm impressed. I asked your assistant, I said, are you from Boston? And she said, no, I'm from Miami. Yeah, she's from Miami. I thought you might have brought in one of your own.

No, her dad's from the Bronx, and she grew up in Miami. So there's like a heat Yankees thing with her, which I'm still trying to reconcile. Speaking of reconciling, you haven't come on here since a couple tragic deaths, but one that was very, very close to you. Which one? Oh, Fife. Yeah. Well, Fife from a tribe called quest i mean that was

that was huge big upsetting devastating um you know the the the best thing that came out of that is you you you saw the world literally and it's continued to come how how much he was beloved i mean i've always known that this group was beloved. You did a documentary about them, we should say. That was excellent. Beat Charms of Life. Yeah. Travels of a Tribe Called. What's that streaming on now?

iTunes. There you go. So yeah, that was tough. It was tough. I mean, he had a beautiful service at the Apollo. And the thing that was special about it, the side effect that the entire top of the Apollo was filled with fans

wearing fife dog t-shirts it was nice it was beautiful was there was you know quote unquote old school hip-hop there you know his peers and then the next generation and it just goes to show how much he influenced and how like tribe one of the things that they did so beautifully is they took the torch from the Grandmaster Flashes and the Kool Moe D's and they pushed it forward and the Zulu Nation and the Africa Bambada and then they did their thing and the Kanye's and the Andre 3000's and the Pharrell's, they all took what they did, amongst others. But it was sad.

No bigger sports fan. I never knew any... Fife Dawg, when we were filming the Tribe Called Quest movie, I'd be like, I want to talk about Midnight Marauders. And somehow we're on a conversation about, I don't know, Marshall Falk. I'm like, I don't know what the fuck... How are we on Earl Campbell again? He was just the biggest Knicks fan and the biggest sports fan.

So you had like 25 years of hip-hop history at this funeral? 30 years? Go back to the mid-80s? Cool H? 30 years? It was. Go back to the mid 80s? Cool Kirk was there. It was from the beginning to now. Everybody was there. So you're talking like 35 years. It was the inception.

Whatever the date was when it actually started, it was all there. And it was all love. And it was beautiful. And it was in New York. Who was the most modern star that was there? Like was Kendrick there? He wasn't there, but he was in Australia. And he did a beautiful thing

on stage in Australia. Like he stopped the show and Kanye was there. Kanye was there? Kanye was there. Wow. He got up on stage. He spoke.

It was beautiful. It was special. It was special. Like it was very like it was fit for a king. It was fit for it was a send off for literally like a king. Like you'd it was it was a send-off for literally

like a king like you'd be like you'd be if i could have half that response a quarter if i could have like a fifth of that when i go knock on wood just the love and the respect and the the family just like the people that knew him the fans the whole thing it was special well i was watching stars like a month ago and you almost got killed in the hot tub. Which one? It could have been there. Copland was on. Oh, right.

Jesus. What was Harvey Keitel? I didn't think it was going to get that. I don't know. That got really bitter with you. It got bitter. I get scared now because I know you and we're friends. When I watch movies where you're about to get killed, I feel like you're actually going to get killed.

He smacked my face during the making of Copland. Did he really? You should. He smacked my fucking face. Intentionally? Like a bedroom move? He smacked my face during the making of Copland. Did he really? You should... He smacked my fucking face. Intentionally? Like a veteran move? he smacked me in the face. And I had no problem with it

because it was Harvey Keitel and it was sort of within the character but had nothing to do with the scene. You think he just wanted to get one in? No,

he just wanted to smack my face. And we were shooting on the George Washington Bridge. We had like between 3 a.m. and 6. Yeah. We had the whole thing closed off.

And it's, you know, there's cop cars and it was a.m and 6 yeah we had the whole thing closed off and it's you know there's cop cars and there's it was a big stunt and all and and we were trying you know you're like there was no setups we were like do the scene do it over do it over and you just shoot it until you get it and at one point during the thing you know i'm sort of deferring my character defer to him and at one point somehow i wound up in front of the camera and he was like i didn't hear him there was loud noises because we were on the bottom or the top it was his fucking nut house

and he smacked the shit out of me and I was just like stunned because I was like Harvey Cattell just smacked me he was like you're in front of the fucking camera move out of the way and I was like

and it kind of revved up the scene because I was like no whatever his character was and I was like deferring to him and so that was there was a whole

like 30 year era of actors slapping other actors to get better performance to them because I was reading deferring him until... There was a whole like 30-year era of actors slapping other actors to get better performance than them because I was reading the Vanity Fair thing about Meryl Streep. Oh, right. And Hoffman like just swatted her during one of their first seats together.

I didn't read that yet. If it happened now, it would cost like a four-month internet riot. Oh, it'd be an internet lawsuit. Can you imagine Dustin Hoffman hit Meryl Streep during a scene? Can you imagine? Back then it was like,

oh yeah, he got her to another point in Kramer vs. Kramer. I think I was at the point that I needed to be at. I don't think he was going for anything for me. And it wasn't anything with... And Harvey's like Uncle Harvey to me. He's so nice. Jewish. Jewish.

And I have coffee with him. He's cool. Harvey's cool. He's a tough guy. He's not the life of the party, but very nice very um caring about younger actors will answer questions and like you know i've had like sit downs with him you know very unafraid to get naked in the in movies fuck he will drop that dong man unfold come right out he will unfold multiple male nude scenes he don't give a shit no he brings the dick, the cock, and balls.

I mean, Bad Lieutenant. Yeah. The scene where he's... That wasn't written. No. He ad-libbed the whole masturbation scene. One of the best lines ever. He says to the girl, he pulls over,

have you ever sucked a cock? Right. Great line. Not written. I mean, these are the kinds of things you can't write. Abel Ferrara, have you ever sucked a cock? Right. Great line. Not written. I mean, these are the kinds of things you can't write. Abel Ferrara, who's actually now sober with a child. And if you knew Abel in the 90s, and he'd be the first one to tell you, the fact that Abel Ferrara, God bless him, sweetheart, is sober with a child.

When I heard that he was doing good, I was just like, I couldn't believe it. Because he was out there He was way out there Like he brought the 70s Into the 90s He kept the 70s alive Yo he kept it alive He brought the fun

And the funk You know to all his movies But he's doing well So you know that And he's an underrated director Abel Copland has a lot of people in it Big stars I feel like

I was thinking about it Because it's a good movie yes and it's a great sly performance yes and it's kind of like the same sly that was in creed it was kind of that version of the the stripped down mellow no schtick sly yes but as i was watching i hadn't seen in a long time and i forgot it was like oh my god there's peter bird right and there's like 15 of those. And it's like, oh yeah, here's De Niro. Like in basically a cameo. He's in like four scenes.

Right. And here's like Ray Liotta. Like, is it Liotta or Liotta? Liotta. Liotta. I'll let you say. Well, it's one of those. It seems to people pronounce it both ways.

But it is Liotta. I've never heard anyone say Liotta. Liotta. Liotta. Liotta. But you have him and like as the successor to the totally coked up Goodfellas character, it's like that guy kind of got out of jail and now is in cop land as a cop. Right.

I love coked up Ray Leota. It's nothing better than coked up. Nothing better. It should just be a Netflix show. It's just called Coked Up Ray Leota. Let him be coked up in every movie. Like he should just be whacked out of his tree with his hair. His face lends to playing. Sweaty. Yeah. And like, you know, the eyes, they're dilated when he's not coked up in every movie. Like he should just be whacked out of his tree with his hair, his face lens.

Sweaty. Yeah. And like, you know, the eyes they're like, they're died. They're dilated when he's not coked up. So,

um, did you talk about, have you spoken on, on how many, first of all, how many podcasts do you have? I see you got like, I, I know you noticed this.

There was like, Bill Simmons was at the top in like six categories. There's channel this, there's 33. How many podcasts do you have we're launching a whole network we just launched ringer the nfl pod and the ringer nfl show right actually the nfl pod nfl show mba show so we launched two right we're launching keeping it 1600 this week as its own feed okay we have the channel 33 as its own feed we have the shack house

golf podcast as its own feed and then mine so we have i think we're up to six or seven seven i don't even know which one we're on now what are we where am i i don't know what the fuck is what man what podcast am i on here you're on mine no but is it the bill simmons or to the channel this is the bill simmons podcast okay i'm confused i am confused you're one of the most popular podcasts we've done. When the first time you came on, you came in hot, like right now, caffeinated. And people loved it. And I think Chris Saka might have had the most popular pod. Who's that? He's this billionaire investor.

People love that one. Well, they want to kiss his ass because they think he's going to give him a handout. He ain't giving you a handout. Bill Saka. What the fuck was he talking about? Rich guy stuff. Yeah. Okay.

All the people that's listening he's not sending you $100 in the mail I don't even know who the fuck he is and he ain't sending me $100 but let me ask you a question two of the things you know one of the things about the blowback for me being on this podcast which I love

you've done two or three I think this is the third time is that I have people come up to me and I don't know how to take this. And they'll say, that was a great performance on the Bill Simmons podcast. Performance? You're always like this. That's what I did. Now, I didn't know if I should tell them that.

But like, I don't want to like, you know, like maybe they're thinking this is some sort of act. And I don't want to break the facade. It's not an act. I've run into you just randomly at like uh coffee places and stuff and you're like this all the time but you get me hyped up bill well i do because you see me and you see somebody that can talk to you about all the things that you care about right you could articulate my thoughts when sly lost the oscar to the fucking guy from the movie that nobody saw um you reached out to me right away i I was there for you. That was bad.

It's been a sad year for you. You had Fife. You had Sly lost the Oscar. That was rough. Kurt Rambis is coming back. Oh, God. Is he coming back? Do you have an inside scoop?

No, it actually seems like David Blatt. He's coming to the Knicks? Yeah. Let me tell you something. A Jew coach in New York City, that alone will simmer the fucking fans down a little bit. They're going to appreciate that. We need to get some bagel sponsor, H&H Bagels. There's sponsorships.

A Jew coach in New York, and I'm a Jew. I just want to make sure everybody understands that. That's enormous. I mean, Red Holtzman was a Jew. And he was an old school, tough, Brooklyn street Jew. Red Auerbach was Jewish? Yeah, but we don't count. What did he do for us?

He had some great Jewish coaches. Great Jewish coaches. We had run in the mill back in the days. But then they sort of, you know, how are you going to be a good coach if you never really did anything? You get Israel now on your side. Israel just follows David Blatt wherever. Now you have the whole country Israel behind you. But what makes you, like, what are we waiting for to pull

the trigger? If he's going to be the coach, the draft is getting ready to come up. Why don't we get him settled in, get him in a press conference? What's the holdup? My guess is that Phil's probably asking him questions like, look, I want you to run an offense that peaked 25 years ago. And I don't

want you to incorporate any of the new stuff that seems to be working. I'm black. You're Phil. Go ahead. I want to have really mediocre tall guards that aren't point guards that are all interchangeable and aren't very good. And keep Sasha

Vujicic just because I like him. Yeah. Keep guys I've won championships with from previous decades. Yeah, they bring in a lot. Yeah. By the way, I think you're Evan Turner waiting to happen. Is that he's going to come? He's very triangle-y.

I could see Phil like, and by the way, I like Evan Turner, even though he no-showed our biggest game of the season. I think he'd be good in the triangle. I think he'd be good for the Knicks. Well, listen, we're so fucked. And I'm so up. I'm hopped up on bee pollen, coffee, and right now,

I don't want to start things off with the Knicks. Okay, let's not. Let's not talk about it. It hurts. It hurts, and you have, it's just gray skies. It's just gray skies. But you're good now. You have all your picks going forward.

Right, none. And you have cap space. No have all your picks going forward. Right, none. And you have cap space. No, you have 17 and 8. After this draft, you have your picks again. After this draft? Yeah, after this draft. This is it. This is the last draft you have to sit out unless they start trading more picks.

Yeah, but you see, is that like a fucking joke? We don't have, we're not even showing, do the Knicks have a representative that goes to the draft? Is it a formality? Like someone must go and sit there and just pound their head against the wall. We have nothing. We fucked up. We're going to come back next year with nothing.

And Evan Turner's the answer. Evan Turner's our shining star. We're going to look forward to that next year. There's Carmelo possibilities. To what? Trade him to the Celtics? Would you trade him for Blake? Oh.

Oh, your body's sagged. Yeah, you talked yourself into it. Who's going to throw him the alley-oops? Evan Turner? Yeah. Okay. I don't know if Blake is built for the New York media, especially after what happened this year.

I'm not sure yet. That's a very good point. Let's talk playoffs. Okay, I want to talk playoffs. And then I just wanted to... You can bring it back to your weird subjects at the end. Okay. Okay. Remind me, because I want to talk playoffs And then I just wanted to Don't worry You can bring it back To your weird subjects At the end

Okay Okay Remind me Because I wanted to talk About Prince I wanted to ask you About Prince Oh

And I wanted to ask you Let's do that now Fine Have you spoken about Prince I'm sure you had to have Mentioned it And have you Acknowledged him

As the world class Coxman that he was? Because we could sit here and talk about the musicality and the talent for days. That's stating the obvious. We've all listened to all the Prince stuff, and it saddened everybody. Everybody loves Prince. But have we talked about the—I I mean when we talk about stick men And world class stick men

Like Burgess Meredith You go to that level You gotta talk about You gotta look at it He might He's in the top five Right Longevity

Quality Quantity Lack of information that got out Nobody knew what Prince was up to nobody knew and but when you saw him he was always with a dime piece no matter what you never like he was never like morris day he wasn't hanging out with morris day if he showed up to the warriors game he had a bone crusher right next to him like we like and then sometimes he he would sort of like you wouldn't hear anything about him but but other men you knew quietly that if he wanted to dip his toe back in the water at any time, he could unfold the purple loaf whenever he wanted to.

He laid that purple pipe for years from 79. That first record came out through the 80s, through the 90s. I think in Minneapolis in like the seventh grade, it probably started. Laying pipe with the Afro and everything. And I mean, a world-renowned stick man. Quality. And on the low to stealth when he wanted to. And then he would get randoms.

There would be like the Sheila E's and the Wendy Elise's. Danity, Apollyon, Apollonia. But then you'd see all those girls that would be like, and then he started, he got to the point where I don't think he wanted to have sex with them. I think he just was like confusing them. Like, you're just around me. You don't know what's going on. It was like he was collecting them.

Like, I collect uncut sheets. Like you collect vintage posters. Or weird posters. Yeah. That's what it was. So two things with Prince. Once, I don't think anyone ever did a better job of having more sex

without, an A-list celebrity of having more sex without anyone ever knowing what he was up to. He was just, I mean, Clooney in Lake Como

or wherever the hell he lives in Italy, I'm sure was doing some underground stuff, but Prince just for decades. Decades. That's one. Two,

and this is what nobody mentioned prince was really short five five i think he was like five three five maybe five four i think he was like mugsy bogues holy shit name me another short guy that got laid more often by a more quality woman than prince it's never happened happened. No, that's what I'm saying. He's the world's premier short stick man. Without a doubt. I don't even know who his competition is. Without a doubt. Without a doubt.

I mean, he's a gold standard coxswain. Gold standard. And the fact that he doesn't have a will and all that stuff, it's just sad. But I just wanted to acknowledge that because everybody's talking about the music. And of course we've got to talk about the music and the talent. That's the obvious, though.

The other stuff, the fact that he laid it down since 79. What I was shocked by was how many young people were affected by Prince dying. Because I always felt like Prince was like our generation. And I knew younger generations liked him, but I didn't know like people. I mean, you had like 25 year olds writing like really thoughtful think pieces about Prince. They latch on to everything.

The hipsters. The hipster fucks. But what I was saying was like. They latch on to anything. We were there for Purple Rain and that was one of a kind. Not to sound like the old guys on the couch, but like when rain came out it was it was like my head almost exploded i've never been to a movie like that incredible it was like it starts out with the let's go crazy and just all the way through and apollonia's boobs are coming out and it was like what this is is

this what is this is your music video is a movie what is this and then the fact that you went to the theater to see it yeah and and and he was already a ginormous star. It's just a different time. You can't articulate that movie in the theater at the time with the anticipation and already knowing that he was that dude. It was just some sort of... It was an experience going to see that in the theater.

As far as the young people... I mean, listen. When he first came out, you didn't know what the fuck was going on. He was... This is the only... He got the most ass dressing like a woman. He was wearing, you know, like, you know, Caitlyn Jenner is nothing compared to what this guy was doing. Prince was that guy. And he grew and grew and grew and grew and grew as an artist.

That's the thing. Like, his skills. It was an androgynous era. Yes. Bowie. And Prince really took advantage of it the most. He did. I remember I never was positive that he was straight until Purple Rain came out.

And even then, you didn't know. No, you knew. Well, you knew he was laying it down there. A straight guy would have pulled the purify yourself in Lake Minnetonka trick. That's true. That's true. That comes from the mind of a devious straight man who wants to have loads and loads of sex. Absolutely.

Absolutely. But he even says, you know, is he straight or gay, whatever, in the lyric. I don't know the lyric right now. I'm so whacked up. But he says straight or gay, God or whatever. I don't know. Listen. Well, he was intentionally ambiguous to get people talking.

Yeah, absolutely. Which David Bowie was like. Absolutely. He was Lou Reed. The one thing that people talked me into, because I always thought, I mean, I have certain hard corners I'm on, right? Like Eddie Murphy is the most talented SNL cast member ever. Not even close.

You're never talking me out of that. You're never talking me out of Michael Jordan being the best basketball player ever. Period. I always felt like Michael Jackson was the best pop music star ever. And I think I've been swayed toward Prince because when you throw in all the instruments Prince could play, Michael Jackson couldn't play instruments.

No, not like that. Prince could play like 27 instruments. And play them. I saw him live one time perform at the Roosevelt Hotel. He was doing these concerts at like three in the morning, which is so past anything that I had to sleep and set an alarm, but I was like, I'm going.

And it was like 500 people in there. And at one point, he was literally like, he was going up to people and playing the guitar. And at one point, I didn't even have to stretch my arms all the way. I got a 37-inch sleeve, Bill. It's yeah okay i mean it's almost as tall as prince yeah it's like my arm is probably the length of him without the heels heels he's got me but he was playing with it he went came right up to me and made eye contact with me and i was literally i could see like how women would be like you're just ready to have sex with them I didn't know what the fuck

I felt uncomfortable you start taking your clothes off right there and he made eye contact with me and I swear to god he knew like we he recognized

like he did a double take at me he had the makeup on and I'm like I'm like literally drooling and I couldn't have taken the guitar out of and he was like but you could feel the talent

right in front of you and that was the thing that was so impressive you could like he had that guitar like guitar like Steph Curry has a basketball. It wasn't there. It was just breathing. 35 footers.

Exactly. Jimmy Fallon, they had the SNL. They hastily threw together this Prince special as an SNL episode. Jimmy Fallon made a great point. He was like, there was never a time when Prince wasn't cool. Never. And I don't remember another celebrity like that. I mean, even Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player ever.

One of the worst dressers. He had moments where he wasn't cool. His whole retirement. Table dresser, his retirement. He played baseball. He had 200. How about the last 10 years running Charlotte, the crying MJ meme? Chris never had moments like that.

How about the fact that he's the owner of the Charlotte Hornets and he let a basketball team that he owns go out and play in the playoffs with a jersey that says Buzz City. How about the fact that he went out there in a must-win game when his point guard has a fucking man bun,

Jeremy Lin, and a jersey that says Buzz City. Talk about not being cool. Talk about not being in touch with this. Well, you think Michael Jordan would play with a short-sleeved jersey that says Buzz City? And Jeremy Lin, I don't know if he's trying to get on an episode of Girls, but to play, and I was there with you, Jeremy Lin.

I'm not, I fuck with you. I fuck with you during the Linsanity. I met you at the All-Star game with my kids that year. You were super nice. I've been riding with you through the whole thing. I'm a fan. Man, bud, not a fan. My man, take that shit out.

No. And the fact that Jordan sat there and thought it was okay, I should have been like, no, send him back to the locker room. They're not playing in a jersey. It's a must-win game. Yeah, Jordan made Brad Sellers cry. He punched Steve Kerr in the face during a scrimmage. Right.

Did some mean stuff. That Jordan needs to come back. A little bit. He's starting to lose weight. He's taken off those. He has the worst style ever. And I'm not a fashion icon. Yeah.

But I can tell. He needs a fucking makeover. Did you see when he hugged Scotty in the luxury suite? Yes. What about it? That was awesome. That was great. I love seeing those two guys.

It was like genuine love of the guys who have won six titles together. Six. Because Scotty sometimes will be a dick about how good Jordan was. There'll be like these random, it's almost like he's trying to get attention and he's wounded by something about his relationship with Jordan. Jordan's like, well, I don't know if Michael was the greatest player ever. I think LeBron's the... And he'll just throw this stuff out.

They feel like little intentional daggers to get MJ's attention. Yeah, like you didn't return my text. It's like when you talk about Harvey Keitel sometimes. Yeah, maybe Jordan smacked him around. His first couple of years, he probably smacked him. Maybe he smacked him on the GW Bridge. And what do you think about this well first of all your guy uh uh bill russell um now listen bill bill russell be careful

bill russell russell sacred in this i got you i want to ask you about this i want to ask you about this how do you feel that he makes public appearance and he comes out looking like a homeless person he's 80 so he. It's old guy fashion. Somebody can't groom him before he comes in. I mean, you're in a public thing. You're sitting courtside. This is your guy.

Somebody at the Celtics can't say, listen, you're going to be on TV. You look like you just rolled out of a methadone clinic. Shave him down. And I mean, he's... We're going to be like that

when we're 75. Yeah, but I'm not Bill Russell. Has he passed a point where you're just like, ah, fuck it. I'm going to go out wearing these pants that I wore the last 17 days in a row. But forget the pants. I understand that you want to be comfort. Forget the weird sort of Birkenstock-y things. I'm talking about groomed.

Groomed this man. He's an old man. Okay. All right. So I can't throw that in, but can I throw this at you? Yeah. I just want to ask you, and don't look away from me. Stay eye contact here.

I'm about to talk about my friends at MailChimp. I want to ask you this one question before you get to this, and you're going to want a breath after this. Okay. Don't look away. Is Tom Brady a cheating fuck or not? I'm looking at you in the eye. Is he a cheating fuck or not?

I genuinely think that he's not. You guys from Boston are something else. I think he told the guys, I like the footballs a's not. You guys from Boston are something else. I think he told the guys I like the footballs a little late. You guys are something else, man. You think he deflated the balls? You Boston guys are tough, man. You think these guys are in the bathroom deflating balls by one-tenth of a pound? He shamed Carl Yastrzemski, Larry Bird, Bobby Brown, and all in new addition with that bullshit.

Shame on Boston. Shame on you guys. Oh, stop it. Come on, man. You're going New York on me. Quick break to talk about our friends at MailChimp. I love them. Less than two months ago, we launched our new newsletter for The Ringer. It's been a big success. We have over 200,000 subscribers and it's been a great place to showcase

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Things available You'll be able to buy champion and if you subscribe to the newsletter when we make those things available uh you'll be able to i'm looking forward to playoffs um break it down bill can we talk about would you want to be lebron's teammate no i wouldn't want to be lebron's teammate what would happen if the first time he subtweeted you about like like what he did with kairi that time when he did that whole sub tweet about how Chris Paul is so great because he's a point guard who gets other teammates involved right and it was clearly directed at Kyrie yeah but then it wasn't but then he was like no I just was trying to just randomly praise this guy on another team for no real reason at all yeah because that's normal yeah because people do that yeah because during the season you're supposed to praise other guys

on other teams and you're supposed to go work out with somebody who you're probably going to play in the Eastern Conference Finals. That was weird, too. That's normal. That was weird, too. And it's normal. Yeah, it's all normal. And it's normal to unfollow your team. And then when asked about it, look like you're like someone stepped on your toe and you're offended by it.

Bill, if I stopped following you on Twitter and I came in here. My feelings would be so hurt. You'd be like, what the fuck, right? You'd be like, what the fuck? Rap's not following me on Twitter? Like, you'd lose a little bit of sleep. I'm not saying you wouldn't sleep in there, but you'd toss it. You'd ask your wife, you know, rap report.

I think he's mad at me. Well, what did I do? And then when you ask me about it, I'm going to be like, no, I stopped following you. I mean, what is all that shit? I don't know. LeBron, here's my new theory that I came up with. LeBron, only child. Center of attention, really, at all times in the NBA for really, you know, first he's the prodigy.

He's coming up all the way through Cleveland. Two MVPs. Leaves Cleveland. The decision goes to Miami. Center of attention. Center of attention. Four years there. Four finals. coming up all the way through Cleveland the chosen one two MVPs leaves Cleveland the decision goes to Miami center of attention center of attention four years there

four finals goes to Cleveland the land center of attention again I'm coming back I'm bringing Cleveland a title now this year not center of attention

not center of attention he has the Warriors blow him out of the water Kobe's interminably long insufferable farewell tour blew him out of the water blew him out of the water and I think Leminably long, insufferable farewell tour blew him out of the water.

Blew him out of the water. And I think LeBron, for the first time, people are like, oh yeah, whatever. LeBron's over there. He's not quite as good as he used to be. Curry's better. It's the Warriors league now. I think it drove him a little batty. I think so too.

It's almost like an actress who the other, you know, getting a little older. The other actresses are in their corner. All of a sudden they have like the big upper lip. Yep. Just the silicone injection. I call it the Meg Ryan. The Meg Ryan. It's like.

That was disturbing. Meg Ryan never was not cute until she got the upper lip fix. Meg Ryan would be cute right now. Meg Ryan. You're Meg Ryan. I don't know who or what is. I don't know what kind of dude is making you feel insecure. But if you want somebody to make you feel right, you just come on over to me.

I'll meet you at Larchmont and we'll fix that lip, okay? Because that was the beginning of the end of her career. Well, I think like Sandra Bullock made two rom-coms. Meg Ryan got threatened, all of a sudden Silicon in the upper lip. She didn't need it. And I think that's what LeBron was like with some of his behavior this season. I think I just feel like he feels it, maybe the seeds of it slipping away a little bit, and he started acting weird.

You said you think he's not as good as he used to be. No, I think he's as good. I think there were moments in the regular— Consistency. He can't do it sustainedly, right? He can still get to the same spot. His jump shot's not as good as he used to be. Yeah, that's true. But, I mean, I've never seen anything like this, though,

for just 13 straight years of a ridiculously high level of basketball. We were growing up, Kareem was like this. Kareem was 13, 14 straight years. But it was slow motion, though. Yeah. It was more of a different style. The fact that he's doing with such physicality and the speed and the strength still.

That's the thing that's crazy he can still he gets the rebound and he's going down with three minutes left tie game you're like lebron's either getting a layup or he's getting fouled it's incredible he still has that which is the single most important skill that he has right now and he's still a great passer still a great passer great athlete incredible indestructible never gets hurt never gets hurt you, I find that very weird. How do you never, ever, ever get hurt? Some people are just blessed. What kind of vitamins does he take? A lot of those Flintstone vitamins.

But I would love to know the vitamin pack because everybody who's ever played professional basketball has suffered some injury. And last year, the beginning of the season, he looked a little sore. And you're like, maybe LeBron has lost it. Then he took two weeks off. He came back, he gained 25 pounds, and he was back to normal. He didn't gain 25 pounds. No, because remember in the offseason, they were all vegetarian and they were juicing. And then he took the two weeks off.

He just needed meat again. And then boom. I just would love to know his diet plan. Is it a diet plan? I want to be on that diet because I tweaked my ankle coming into your studio. You need luck. Curry slips on the floor. Anyone who

slips on that spot on the floor hurts their knee. I get that. I even think LeBron doesn't survive that. I get that. I get that. I'm just saying he's blessed and he's the chosen one and he's never been injured and that proves that he actually is the chosen one. If you had to pick right now, I think I asked you you this for one player going to next season right now just based on what you know right now who would be your first pick right now you could get anybody in the league

for next season i'm trying to win the title it's just one season don't just for one season right now what would who would you pick i'd probably pick leBron Me too Just because I think he's a safer Health risk Tate who would you pick? He's indestructible You'd pick Curry? Three's more than two

I'd go with LeBron I don't I'm not 100% sure I'm getting Curry For 8 months straight That would be my one fear I think Curry's Slightly better I think Curry's slightly better.

I think he has a better effect on his teammates, and he's more representative of where the league is going. Yes. But LeBron, I know I'm getting eight months. Yeah, he's... At a very high level. Yeah, he doesn't get injured. He doesn't get injured.

He's just sick. I went to the garden in March, and I wanted to heckle the fucking shit out of him. I was right on the side of the court. My son, I was with my son, and I knew he was like, but at one point he went to the bathroom, and I was like, now's my time. And I was like, bust his ass, Carmelo.

Da-da-da-da-da, Carmelo. And LeBron looked back. I don't know if he recognized the face, the voice, or whatever. And, of course, nothing happened. What's Derek Thomas? Is that his name on the Knicks? Lance Thomas? Derek Williams. Derek Williams. I'm'm telling him he was guarding him take him i'm telling this the guy who got robbed earlier in the season uh from coming home

from a strip i'm gonna take him bust his ass uh and you and your your blonde tip take him to the hole see it went nowhere but if my son hadn't been there I would my plan was to get that warning what's the weirdest IMDB compliment that LeBron could have given you

that would have disarmed you the most like if he had just come over and been like hey man I love the Ed Burns show man that would have been fine

listen he could say whatever he wants but what would have what would have LeBron that he he should you know what he could have did

the weirdest compliment come over and say hello to my son that's all I'm gonna say no I'm saying that's all I'm gonna say you see the kids you say hello I'm not gonna say anymore

you're at an all-star game in 2011 you see kids my kids you don't give them the fist and turn your side that's all I'm saying I'm not saying

I'm just saying when you see the kids you're at an all-star game it's a public place I'm saying what piece'm not saying it. I'm just saying when you see the kids, you're at an all-star game. It's a public place. I'm saying what piece of work have you done that it would have surprised you the most that LeBron had seen and was a fan of? If he was like, I really love beautiful girls.

That would have thrown me off. LeBron never saw beautiful girls. He's dipping his toe in Hollywood, but he never saw beautiful girls. It's the age thing. I don't feel like it's his kind of movie. It's a really good movie. That would have surprised me.

But if you come over and you see my kid, you give him a... What are we doing for the 20th anniversary? I'm ready to go. I think that they should do... I think that that movie

is worthy of a remix. Now, because like, what was it, the 10th anniversary? Like, now you do like, oh, where are they now? Like, we do another one. Should we do...

Because I saw Matt Dillon. He hasn't aged. Matt Dillon... Now, you want to talk about a coxman bird man a stick man he had his 18th birthday at studio 54 when studio 54 was studio 54 he did matt dylan think about it think about the run he's had and he hasn't aged i don't know what he literally looks like matt dylan's like fromutsiders still today. And Matt Dillon's one of those that there's a whole generation of women, including my wife, who if Matt Dillon did the finger wave over, that's it. I'd never see them. To this day.

My kids would be like, where's mom? She's gone. I'd be like, Matt Dillon fingered her over. She's gone. That was it. She ain't coming back. But he can get the younger generations, too. He's iconic. He's like a Ferrari. It's never going out of style. She's in Tahiti. But he can get the younger generations, too. He's iconic.

He's like a Ferrari. It's never going out of style. He's Matt Dillon. So you saw it on the Beautiful Girls set. Oh, my God. But it wasn't the set. He doesn't deal with set people. He doesn't mess around with actors.

Does he deal with other actors? No, I mean actresses. That's not his thing. It's the hot cocktail lady at the restaurant in Minnesota. Right. that's not his thing it's the hot cocktail lady at the restaurant in Minnesota right and it's it's anything like in his it's anything in his

in his perimeter like in his sight and it says boom and it literally is the finger thing like he'll shut it down with a finger thing he's got power

Matt Taylor great stick man excellent stick man low key and very humble about it like very quiet very like like literally like like a guy who could like sneak in, kill Bin Laden, get out.

Like he's like that type of shit. Great. So Matt Dillon, Burgess Meredith and Prince are all at the same club. All at the same club. And who gets like, they all like the same girl who gets her. Probably Meredith. Burgess Meredith comes in. Burgess gets her. In his day. Yeah meredith comes in yeah in his in his day

yeah no one in his day no one could stop him no one could stop him with the voice the charm he no one could stop him he was incredible matt dylan is matt dylan even did he even ever get married i don't think he did not a great stick man like that he he will go, like Prince. He got married. Well, Prince got married. Like, listen, Matt Dillon, consummate. Like, consummate stick man. Almost like an NBA player who just every year is on a different team. Doesn't even want to sign a two-year deal. Fuck the two-year deal.

No, I'm floating around. In and out. This year I'm going to play for Phoenix. Yeah, and I'm going to tear the city up. So do you think the Cavaliers can win the title? I hope not. Let's say Curry's 80% the rest of the way, not 100%. Yes, they can absolutely win the title.

I think if Curry's not 100%, I think it's open. I'm worried about San Antonio. I have a big bet on them at 10-1 that we made before they signed Aldridge because I just was betting on them signing Aldridge. I just thought that was going to happen. Their guards, you know, that game two, G.C. game two, Oklahoma City. Yes.

I don't want to take too much out of it because the refs, I thought, were really favorable toward OKC. They're just letting them maul San Antonio. I mean, Aldridge was getting mauled, and he still had 43. Kawhi was getting just chipped and bumped and knocked on every screen.

Putting that aside, did you notice Parker and Ginobili, that game was a tiny bit too fast for them? Yeah. It was the first time I've noticed that with those guys. But it happens with games. The speed of the game was,

they couldn't kind of match it. That worries me for them against the Warriors. Well, who do you prefer to go to the finals like right now if Curry's 80 you know 85 percent who do you think and you and if I'm a guy that wants Cleveland to lose again I get off so you're saying who do I prefer if I want Cleveland to lose in the finals yes Golden State okay now I don't think Cleveland could beat Golden State nobody could beat them I just don't think they have Even you saw it in game one in Atlanta

I don't understand The best lineup for Cleveland is when they play Love at the five and LeBron at the four And they go smaller And already Atlanta is in their head And they're playing Thompson, Kevin Love And LeBron together You can't do that against Golden State.

Right, right. This is why you got 19 podcasts, because you know your shit, man. My whole thing is, my whole goal is to beat Golden State. I know I can get through the East. I'm not worried about Atlanta. I'm not worried about Miami.

I want to use these three rounds leading to the finals to master that lineup with Love and LeBron. That's the lineup that's going to beat Golden State. And so when they rely on Thompson, it's like, yeah, great. Thompson, they couldn't handle his rebounding, but it's like, you're not going to be able to play him and Love against

Golden State. You're going to get waxed. Because of the size. You have to pick one of the two. Golden State's too fast for them. I got you. I got you. And this guy on San Antonio, because I don't want to get too fucking basketball nerd heavy with you. Which guy? Now, number 40, Bobone.

Oh, Boban. Boban? Yeah. Who looks like... Boban Liata. They found him. They cut him out of ice somewhere. He was frozen.

Yeah. He's definitely... Boban's going to get like like Seven, eight million dollars a year In free agency this year As he should Probably from your team For the Knicks? Yeah, maybe

Oh, they would love him in New York I think it would confuse him It would confuse him And I wanted to see Because he deserves Like everybody's like Porzingis with a nickname He's just Porzingis

That's just the nickname The Porzing guy Now they have The Zinger The Zinger Whatever The Lativian Gangbanger The Lativian Gangbanger That's the the nickname. The poor Zing guy. Now, they have- The Zinger. The Zinger, whatever. The Lativian Gangbanger. The Lativian Gangbanger.

That's the best nickname so far. That's absolutely the best nickname. But, you know, he's trying to market himself. But they had the big fundamental, right? Yeah. The big Aristotle. Yeah. I think Boban should be called the Big Galoot.

The Big Galoot? The Big Galoot. Because he looks like a fucking- I mean, where did he come from? Do you need a nickname when your name's Boban should be called the Big Galoot. The Big Galoot? The Big Galoot. Because he looks like a fucking... I mean, where did he come from? Do you need a nickname when your name's Boban? He needs something. He needs... I mean, he literally looks straight up like a caveman.

Did you notice, though, that there's times when he looks really fluid for a gigantic guy? Yes. Like, he'll do, like, spin moves and grab rebounds and alley-oops and traffic. Put it down, put it back up. He's great. Reverse layups. And people move out of the way because the wingspan and the elbow span, it's just everything's coming at you.

And I think they're frightened. They're like, what's up with your ears? They don't know what's happening with him. I'm telling you, I love him. But he's like an enigma. Yeah, he is. I don't know where that is. It's possible'm telling you, I love him. But he's like an enigma. Yeah, he is. I don't know where they... It's possible that they just created him in a lab in San Antonio.

That's what I'm saying. Where's he from? What country? Can't be ruling it out. Where's he from? Can you find out what country he's from, Tate? It's a place that... Serbia, yeah.

Yeah, so they say... Oh, it's from Serbia. That's what they say for anybody that comes out looking like that. Throw them off the set. Yeah, Serbia. He's from Serbia. We'll just say he's from Serbia. It's a safe thing.

I want to see your paperwork, Bo Ban. See, I would think your goal is for Oklahoma City to flame out in a really horrible way so that the Knicks would have a chance at Durant. He ain't coming to New York. So the Knicks fans aren't even delusional anymore.

I miss delusional Knicks fans I miss the Knicks fans who always thought Oh it's New York people are going to come here No The Knicks fans have just quit on that I feel like It's over If you're going to come to New York

You might as well come to Brooklyn Because they have a practice arena near the state You can live in Brooklyn In Manhattan You can't even enjoy living in, like, you're not going to be, like, a million-dollar player living in, like, Tribeca because the practice facility is in, what is it, White Plains?

Right. These things charter into it. Who is that? Answer the phone. Who is it? Is it your wife? No, it's... Is it Matt Dillon?

Sorry about that. Is that Matt Dillon? Matt Dillon's in it. He's with a flight attendant right now. He needs money. It's like your wife said she wants a certain sweatshirt she likes. Send it over. Can I ask you a question?

I threw this to Howard Beck last week and the Knicks fans got upset. If the Knicks traded Robin Lopez to Brooklyn just to create cap space and then sign Dwight Howard, how upset would you be on a scale of 1 to 10? Like a 15? 20? Don't bring him here. He'll be over there with Steph Marbury if he comes to New York.

You think he'd go mental? Don't do it. He's so confused and so fragile. And nothing good will come from it if Dwight Howard comes to New York. What team should Dwight Howard go to? What team could Dwight Howard's fragile mental... I have no clue.

What team hasn't he played for? I don't know where he should go. He should hook back up with Stan Van Gundy when he comes back from his trip from Cuba. He should get together with Stan and rekindle that because that's the best it was. Would you be shocked if Sacramento traded Boogie and then signed Dwight Howard? Doesn't it seem like Dwight Howard's destiny is to play for Sacramento? Yes. Yes.

Absolutely. Feels like that's going to be a stop for him. That's the dumping ground that's going to be a guy who had all the potential in the world. Dwight Howard. And that's sad. It's all the potential in the world. Dwight Howard. And that's sad. It's like the Expendables series. Exactly. Yeah.

It's like Expendables 5. It's just the Kings. It's with Rondo, Dwight Howard, and Darren Williams. They're on the same team. All former All-Stars. And are the Sacramento Kings going to take Patrick Ewing out of his misery? The fact that Patrick Ewing, one of the great warriors, one of the great scowls,

one of the great tough guys in NBA history looks like Bambi on the bench for the Charlotte Hornets. A broken man. He looks like a lost dove. He's broken. We both love Patrick Ewing. I know he's not a people person,

but we can't get him... Did you ever—I feel the same way about Kareem. At no point in my life did I ever look at either of those guys, watch the way they interacted with teammates, listen to the ways they talked about basketball and all that stuff. I never thought with either of them, like, that guy would make a great coach. I agree. I think most former players, especially stars, make for terrible coaches. Totally agree.

And centers especially. What's the history of a center? Totally agree. But can he get something? Do you see he's a broken man? Do you see his eyes? Can't the Knicks just bring him back? The Knicks fans love Patrick Ewing.

Just bring him back. Do something. Can't he be on David Blatt's team? Why not? He could convert. Yes. Convert to Judaism. It would be a great story if Amari Stoudemire could convert when he came here.

Patrick, he doesn't even need to convert, actually. We love Patrick. I just hate seeing him like that. Where's the scowl? He's busted. He seems sad. I agree. He's sad, man.

He cries and he doesn't even have a tear. He's doing shot charts for Frank the fucking Tank Kaminsky. That's what Patrick Ewing's resorted to doing on the bench? In one of the Zellers. It's horrible. Where do you see... Imagine coaching Boogie Cousins. If you get a coaching job, do you really want to start off with Boogie Cousins?

I don't think he's on that team next year. What do you see happening with OKC? The body language doctor did not like what he saw in game two from them. Did they have a body language doctor? No, I'm the body language doctor. I'm the self-proclaimed body language doctor. But they won, though. What body language didn't you like?

Westbrook pretty much snapped in that game. Yes. Donovan benched him. Yes. He's one of the seven best players in the league yes it's really hard to get benched

like Kobe for all the shit he pulled over the years and all the things he did no coach was ever like Kobe sit your ass down

I think he was doing it for Westbrook's best interest oh yeah it was almost like an intervention yeah like I don't want to do it

but I don't want to see anything bad happen to you you're going to get crushed on inside the NBA after this game if I don't take you out right now. Just take a breath, drink some Gatorade and get your mind right. Would it be fun to play with Russell Westbrook? I can't decide. It would be fun to play with somebody who every game was the seventh game to him.

Well, look, Cameron Payne looks like he's having a fucking ball. They're out there doing, it's like Danceteria. He looks like he's having a ball out there playing with Russell Westbrook. So, I mean, you got to ask Cameron Payne. Instead of practicing those dance routines, he should practice his three-point shot. What about just practice? What about, first of all, cut your fucking hair. A three-man weave or a layup line isn't enough to get you ready to play.

I mean, what's going on? You're not Danny Terrio. Like, what is this? And I'm so glad that Charlie Villanueva did what he did. Like, you're not going to come out here doing this craziness. And like, what's going on here? What's going on here? I like how Durant and Westbrook were genuinely upset that he did that.

It's like, it's gamesmanship, guys. Imagine Dr. J and Moses Malone doing the hustle before game five. It just didn't happen. By the way, Dr. J is furious that we left him out of all the stick man conversations. Well, I just do that out of respect. I know what Dr. J was doing. Okay, good. It's almost another level.

Like Prince looked up to Dr. J. No doubt. I saw Dr. J at the All-Star game. What was it? It's almost another level. Like Prince looked up to Dr. J. No doubt. I saw Dr. J at the All-Star game. What was it? It wasn't this year. It was the year before in New York City with a triple dime piece. And the thing that was so beautiful about it, it was at the Michael Jordan party. And it wasn't a girl that was too young.

It was like a 45-year-old. Right. He lets his women age with, yeah. It was like somebody, a beautiful, beautiful, like Jane Kennedy in her prime, but like 40. And I was like, good for you, Doc. You deserve that. And he looked happy and he looked relaxed and everybody was walking around. And I saw actually him greet Moses Malone, the late, great Moses Malone.

For some reason, the late, great Moses Malone in the party had on a rain hat and a rain jacket. What do you mean, for some reason? Of course he did. But why? We're in the party. Like, Doc, you know, like, I even think Doc said, Moses, take the fucking rain hat off. Like, you're inside. But, I mean, Coxman, Dr. J.

I mean, he's... It's almost the terms beneath him. It belittles all his great accomplishments. I mean, he's... It's almost the terms beneath him. It belittles all his great accomplishments. I mean, yeah. He hooked up with a beat reporter. He had the tennis baby. Of course he did. He's lucky he didn't have more.

God, if that happened now. Everyone always has that conversation about things that would break Twitter if they happened now. Right. I'm pretty sure the most famous NBA player sleeping with somebody who covered the team and having a baby with them, who then turned out to be a great tennis player, would be way up there. Absolutely. That's almost a 30 for 30. And the love and respect that they have for Doc, it never even got out of hand. Oh, he's the best.

Doc was like, you know, when the people came through The garden We hated everybody Right We just hated everyone's guts Doc was the only one That like when he had His farewell thing That we Genuinely

There was affection for him Even after he sucker punched Bird We still had affection for him We didn't like Run him out of Boston After that We still kind of Secretly loved the doc

Of course Kareem It was just It was It was reluctant Going through the motionsem it was just it was it was reluctant going through the motions is a fucking understatement it was reluctant right it was like i was man and then in the hbo documentary about it and it was like and then kareem in the boston garden and and they to get showered with so much respect i was there people were like fuck we have to pretend we like kareem we hated kareem

but you guys did it you did the right thing we went it was we went through the motions do you know what one thing i find offensive you know that they like they call the euro step the euro step yeah like genoble and like james harden doc irving was doing that shit on sundays on cbs he invented that move that euro step it should be called the Doc Irving Step. Do you know what I'm saying? Which one? The Eurostep. The boom boom. Oh yeah. There wasn't like Manu Ginobili and these Europeans and the Spaniards.

They just called it a travel though. No. Doc would go boom boom and then finger roll while he was going to the left with his right hand. Oh yeah. Well his hands were like the size of my entire body. I've never seen anybody. They would put him on the left side. I wrote about this in my book.

They put him at like basically where the three-point line is, but nobody knew what the hell it was in 1980. It was a circle that people just stared at. It's like duct tape. They'd give him the ball. Maxwell would play seven feet off him because everyone just wanted Doc to shoot because if he went to the basket, it was over.

He would go in any way. He would go into the paint with his hand, and then his fucking freddy krueger arm would come around and even though he's nine feet away from the basket all of a sudden he was getting this long freddy krueger layup yep in the paint through three guys like his arm would just go through the three guys so you need it so unique i've never seen anybody do that nobody he's the only one he's not replicable absolutely not most guys are replicable in some form

he's not replicable he's not replicable and you know Durant's not replicable either I don't think we'll see another seven footer he's seven feet by the way

he tries to pretend he's not but he's seven feet no he's seven feet he's seven feet he's tall we'll never see somebody with three point range

with the inside outside game like that who's who's basically plays like a six foot five guy i agree at seven feet i don't think nobody does that i don't think that we'll never say i think it's going to be more of the norm i think i think it's going to be more people are comparing brandon ingram to him up tate's gonna get mad uh but tate hates dude oh okay but uh brand Ingram, like, I watched him in college. I have copious amounts of words written about him. I was like, this guy is like once in a generation.

Yes. We're never going to see this again. Yes. I still don't think we're going to see it again. Maybe. I think maybe because I just think it's the evolution of man. I think like that's going to be sort of. Seven foot.

Like guys who could handle the ball and move around like that. But he's one of the... I'm not saying it's happening next week. Dirk's another one. I don't think we see Dirk again. Well, no. I don't think we see Hakeem again. No.

No. The 6'10 soccer player is not happening again. Who just took up basketball at age 16 and immediately became... No, no. You're never going to see that again. That's never happening again. Never. Never.

But we'll see like Blake Griffin again we'll see a lot of these guys or we might not see Blake Griffin again is this thing on is this thing on hold on

quick break to talk about squarespace.com love squarespace.com one of our signature sponsors you dabble in a little squarespace I dabble in a little squarespace how long have you been using

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Start with, you can start a trial. No credit card required. Go to squarespace.com. Use the offer code BS for 10 10 off 10 off and it's already a good deal that's nice uh so let me throw some questions at you okay we have like eight nine minutes left are we done talking about the nba playoffs because i gotta go okay okay it's an hour-long podcast okay let me ask you a question what's going on with any given wednesday give the people let me let me let me let me let me be the interviewer here okay because I can't talk about it yet okay but but give me something I can't do

press about it yet okay all right Wednesday launches when is my contract come through like what's my hourly rate and like when are we working that out I'm just gonna put that out there right you have to figure out one of the things in the show yeah is we're gonna team people together to talk about stuff okay makes sense why they would be together. Got it. That's all you could say? Well, no. It's just one segment on the show.

Isn't this fucking show premiering next week? No, we got eight weeks. Okay. We have to figure out who would be the perfect person for me, you, and blank to do 10 minutes on blank.

Got you. And who that is. Like, Prince would have been great. We could add a whole Prince conversation with some fun third person. Yeah. Probably who just would have been laughing and afraid to say anything the whole time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. And it's any given Wednesday and it's live. No, it's not live. It's not live. Taped.

But it comes on, it's gonna air on any given Wednesday. It's gonna air on Wednesday. Wednesday it's gonna air on Wednesday so they're gonna repeat the shit out of it yeah and we're gonna do there's gonna be some

extra stuff for HBO Now right of course everything's online I love HBO Now HBO Now is good it's fun it's like a little playground for us

yeah that's fun cause you can do you get wacky on HBO Now so one of the fun things is let's say who would be fun for us to hang out with to do something with think of somebody me let's say who would be fun for us to hang out with to to do

something like think of somebody man me you and blank who would be fun fuck man there's so i mean in basketball or like just anyone how about me you and ray leota oh that would be good listen ray's a great actor i'm not gonna say he might he might not make the best segment in your first couple shows what actor would be a great segment? Hmm. Man, I got to think about that, man. We try to get De Niro to laugh. I get De Niro going. We could get him. You mean De Niro?

What would we talk about, though? We talk about it all. What won't we talk about? All right. What won't we talk? We get Stallone. Oh, all right. So Mew and Slag.

Holy shit. So we go for like an hour. Oh. But during that hour, we'll carve out like two different 12-minute segments, and it's going to be you, me, and Sloan talking about blank. And that will be on the show, and the rest of it will be on HBO Now. Rest assured that if I get Sloan with you, I will be doing lines from Rocky 1, 2, and 3 with him, and I will be doing his lines, and he will be doing it for sure. Guaranteed.

I'd like to also do lines. You'd be Paulie. No, we'd do three men. You'd do Paulie. lines and he will be for sure guarantee it i'd like to also do lines you'll be paulie no we do three man it'd be pulled you do paulie you know i don't sweat you you you know i really want to find out from him how shocked and disappointed he was when they were like and the supporting actor goes to the guy mark the movie it's not even mark ruffalo mark not mark ruffalo the other mark not the other seven guys movie From the movie only 19 people saw. He was shocked. And he probably, because he's a classy guy, he'd probably say he wasn't shocked.

He was shocked, as he should have been shocked. And one thing about it, that was Stallone's night. It was his year. He deserves it. The Oscars are not fact-based. They are not, you know, this whole thing about the race. It just goes to show how fucking weird and off the oscars are the fact that the stallone didn't win this year why are you protesting this this show this show's a joke well and especially

after but i'll be happy to get one i'm just gonna say that right now i'd be happy to get one it's a joke until i get one then it'd be great it was this whole thing about how the Oscars don't account for black people really at all. Yeah. And then here's Creed directed by a black person. Yes, sir. Starring a black person. And with Sly Stallone, who's the only representative of the movie eligible for anything. It would have been nice if he won.

At least he could have thanked. The director. The black director and the black star of the movie. Yes. And maybe that would have been a nice moment. But no. No. It went to some dude I never heard of. And a good actor from the movie the spielberg movie i don't

want to get a you know it's not but it just goes to show that it's it's a subjective thing it's not uh it's not i on point i'm a huge mark ruffalo fan yeah i wouldn't have liked it if he won either me neither i i listen no disrespect to spotlightlight. They knew. They knew, Robbie. Yes, they knew. But that movie... That scene, I know, it was too Oscar-scene-y. Too many...

So many great actors in that movie. Great subject matter. Who would you have wanted to play in that movie? Who knows? Who knows? We wouldn't have let you in that movie. No, of course not. You would have mangled the Boston accent.

Yeah, I would have destroyed it. Even in Beautiful Girls, you didn't even try to have a Boston accent. They told us, fuck it. Me and Matt Dillon doing Boston accents? You're like in Western Massachusetts with a New York accent. That's why they said, we're just going to make it to any town USA. In the beginning, because no one does the accent in the movie.

Well, a couple of them do. Who? The guy with the mustache had one. Max Perlick? Yeah, he had one. No, it's just he's stoned out of, that's called stoned out of your tree accent. If you watch it closely his accent changed like you know

throughout the takes so one thing I want to do because HBO Now they've been very nice to me yes I want I want to show

beautiful girls and I want to have I want to do it with it's beautiful girls but it's us doing the director's commentary let's do it we can do that right

we'll put the done you've been talking about this for years no but dude so we'll actually have this with it's Beautiful Girls but it's us doing the director's commentary for it. Let's do it. We can do that, right? Done. You've been talking about this for years. We'll actually have this on HBO now. We'll do the director's commentary for Beautiful Girls. We'll put the invitation

out to Natalie Portman. She's not even going to respond. She won't do it. She's going to be like, listen, rap. She'll say rap. I'm not fucking doing it. Matt Dillon might do it though.

Matt's not doing it either. He's going to be banging your wife. He's not coming. I'm sorry, Bill. He ain't showing up for that there's probably a couple other people that we could you know

get together but you know I think you and me can handle it we could get Max Perlick you know get him a bag of some you know

ooey he'll be good Tim Hutton we could probably get him to do it Martha Plimpton would be fun Rosie O'Donnell

it sounds like it's just me and you yeah it's going to and you. Yeah. If we really want to get it done, we say we're doing it at this date. You can show up and leave their names at the gate and that's as far as it's going to go. We'll invite Matt Dillon

but then we'll have I'll hire some supermodel assistant to pick him up and walk him from the car to where our studio is. Yeah. No, she won't make it to the... No, she ain't gonna make it. Maddie D's gonna knock her down. You're gonna have to find a new assistant.

She ain't coming back, and Matt Dillon ain't coming for the voiceover for Beautiful Girls. I promise. If Matt Dillon hears this, he's gonna be so embarrassed and confused why I'm saying this. And I said this to him before. He's always like, well, you don't know.

I'm like, it's envy. I envy you. Like, I envy your fuck style, Matt Dillon. Like, you're incredible. Matt Dillon, you forget about how iconic. He was like when he was 15, he was the heartthrob. The guy. Remember My Bodyguard?

Forget that. Remember the summer camp? Tex, Outsiders. Oh, the Christycnichol movie yeah and remember the other one um oh yeah so you're going like way way back he was he was with with mcnichol but there was one there was a really good movie it was a dark movie it was almost like the movie kids but in the 70s come on get pull it up i don't fact check we don't fact check uh uh uh you know what is it it's this first movie come Come on. Well, he also had The Outsiders.

This is before that. It's all druggies in Arizona. They burn the high school down. What? Over the edge. Have you ever seen Over the Edge? That's a dark, twisted movie. I can't believe you compared it to kids.

That's the most dark, twisted movie that's ever happened. Watch it and you'll see it's out there. It's out there. But what was the movie with Christy McNichol? The Summer Camp? Little Darlings. He was knocking down at Summer Camp.

Like they kayaked over there. Little Rumblefish. Rumblefish. Flamingo Kid. Forget that. That's when it was like. Flamingo Kid is one of my favorite. Flamingo Kid.

That's a really, really, really. And he was excellent in that movie. Totally taken for granted. I don't like how Hollywood. He should be starring in films still. Yes or no on him in singles? Matt Dillon's never been bad. Drugstore cowboy?

Taken for granted. Hollywood takes him for granted. It's bullshit. What was the Wild Things? Wild Things? There's something about Merritt. He was great. Great.

He could do comedy. He could do drama. Taken for granted. He could do comedy. He could do drama. Take it for granted. He doesn't do TV ever. He dipped his toe into that M. Night Shyamalama Lama Dingy Dong thing last year. He did that miniseries, Shyamalama Dingy Dong. You know M. Night Shyamalama Dingy Dong? M. Night.

You'll take M. Night's checks. Why not? Why not? We have to go. All right. Make a prediction for the finals for me. Golden State beats Cleveland in six. Make a Knicks prediction for me.

Predictions? Payne. Okay. To quote the great Mr. T. Thanks. Who do I got to bang to get you on the IM Rapport Stereo Podcast to give you the proper interview? I know you're the David Letterman of podcasts, but there's questions that people want to ask. They want to know.

They want to pick your brain. Who do I got to bang? Your assistant? I'm going to take it. I can't do that. But there's questions that people want to ask. They want to know. They want to pick your brain. Who do I got to bang? Like your assistant? I'm going to take it. I can't do that. I can't do that. I'm just saying. Like who do I got to send Matt Dillon over to bang?

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Just go to MailChimp.com. Don't forget about Squarespace either. You can check out Michael Rappaport's site that he made, IamRappaport.com. Thanks to the Ringer Podcast Network for sponsoring today's show. Don't forget to subscribe to our new free podcast. The Ringer NBA show and the Ringer NFL show. Just go to the top of the iTunes charts. You'll see both of them staring happily at you. And thanks to HBO Now

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Thank you, Michael Rapaport. Bill, you... That was fun. Let's do this more often. Listen. Think about your third guest for my TV show. Me, you, and guest X. I threw Sly we could get.

We can get Sly? I think we can make a good pitch for him. I think we'll make him feel like the way he does. He's Sly. And you know what would be the best thing? Because I don't think he's as popular as your podcast is. I have a feeling sly doesn't listen.

The biggest thing, and we'd have to get a close-up, if I remind him when he told me, he told me that Burgess Meredithan was a great stickman. If I threw that at him on air, that would be, you're talking about viral shit? Because everything needs to threw that on air that would be you talk about viral shit because everything needs to go viral

his face would be like how'd you know he'd forget how'd you know that and I'd be like you told me he'd be like because he doesn't remember

like that exchange to me it was like a great moment in my life to him and maybe I'll go to Hollywood Boulevard and we'll give him the best supporting

actor Oscar or I'll buy one on eBay we'll just give it to him no no no no they fucked him and we're gonna take it like a man and and and every the people knew it's like the great line from raging bull the judges didn't know who knows what happened with them the people knew that's it he should have won and that's it doesn't matter now he's almost like he's rocky again how he's got something to prove he doesn't want to be just another bum from the neighborhood. Do you think Carl Weathers and Sly really punched each other at the end of Rocky III?

I was watching it the other day and I don't know how they faked it. They didn't have CGI back then. I think they did. I think they really connected on those punches. Yes, I do. You mean the last image? They freeze it and then it becomes the Leroy Neiman poster. But I was looking at it. I freeze framed it.

I'm staring at it. And I just think both connected. You're as sick as me with the rocky stuff because i've thought about that so much i am i wonder if still like when duke died in real life that another tragic loss the fact that duke died literally a part of me died too yeah yes and there was no other one it It was just Duke. Let it go. Yeah. You're the champ. I saw that man come at you like no other man before. Let it go. Oh, that was Rocky II. Rocky II.

I also really appreciated that Duke forgave Rocky for really getting Creed killed. Yes. And he wanted to bring it back and help him out he stood there with a towel for an extra 15 seconds seven more punches duke screaming at him throw the damn towel and rocky freezes i i mean people were making fun of kyle lowry last night for just basically freezing in that in that miami game this was way worse. This was Apollo's life at stake. At stake. Also, Drago pushes the ref away, which I'm pretty sure is a felony.

And a penalty. There's a point being taken away. Pushes the ref away, and they're still like, oh, let's keep the fight going. Drago should be in jail still. Never getting out. He shouldn't be doing commercials

in Germany for Kool-Aid and shit like that. He's making money all over the world doing commercials as Germany for Kool-Aid and shit like that. He's making money all over the world doing commercials as Drago. What's your biggest flaw in Rocky IV? Is it Stallone climbing the mountain? Or is it the Mikhail Gorbachev lookalike, his henchman, coming down from the luxury suite, which was like a million miles away, and being able to get to the ring in like 10 seconds?

That was tough. There's some flaws. That's a tough timing flaw. There wasn't as many flaws in four as there was in five and then six. I don't count five. You don't? No, I don't acknowledge five. But one of the great Mickey scenes of all time. I don't acknowledge five. The flashback?

You know, Mickey wasn't wearing pants in any of those scenes. Of course not. But shot him from the chest up but those flashbacks they bring me to tears are you kidding me I'm surprised you didn't even buy

into the flashbacks no get up you son of a bitch no cause Mickey loves you no wow Bill

I don't agree listen Tommy Guns I'm not saying it was a great movie the faux hip hop was horrible the fake Don King was awful oh E from Entourage Guns. I'm not saying it was a great movie. The faux hip-hop was horrible.

The fake Don King was awful. Eve from Entourage bullying Rocky's kid I didn't like. No, there's a lot of things I didn't like, but I could watch those scenes with Mickey when he comes in there and he gives him, he goes, Rocky Marciano gave these cufflinks and I'm giving it to you.

That was beautiful. It brings me to tears. You might actually be a bigger Rocky fan than me because I didn't like Rocky V. I didn't say I liked it. Even Sly has distanced himself from Rocky V. What about the- Sly distanced himself from it. What about Rocky VI?

What was it called? Rocky Balboa? Was that what it was called? That hurt my heart. I went opening day at the Chinese Theater. That hurt my heart. I like the fight. The fight was good.

Anything to promote? Nothing, man. I'm just happy to be here. I like the fight. Ugh. The fight was good. Anything to promote? Nothing, man. I'm just happy to be here. All right. See you soon. Thanks for coming. Let's go, Warriors. Don't play them in game four either.

Anytime y'all want to see me again, rewind this track right here. Close your eyes. Pitching me rolling.