The Bill Simmons Podcast - Flying Eagles, the Tua Debacle, Zappe vs. Rodgers, and Rooting Against Judge with Cousin Sal

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss Week 4 in the NFL, including the surprisingly successful NFC East, the Eagles’ comeback win over the Jaguars, Browns-Falcons, concern for the Broncos, Saints-Vikings, Ravens-Bills, Chiefs-Buccaneers, the Packers' overtime win vs. the Patriots, and more (2:35). Then, they guess the lines for Week 5 (52:29), before closing the show with Parent Corner (1:27:43). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bill finally gave the ringers Philly crew a podcast. I'm Ben Solak. And I'm Shiel Kapadia. That's right. Just a couple of Philly guys with a new space to fire off some Eagles takes, get caught up in the Sixers chaos and more. We'll be coming to you twice a week on Sundays and Thursdays, plus bonus episodes whenever we get breaking news or Philly drama.

Plus when Harden and Embiid somehow convince you suckers that this year is going to be different, our fellow Philly stands at the Ringer will have you covered on the Sixers and all your other favorite teams in town. It's Philly Sports Shield. What could possibly go wrong? Join the fun and follow the Ringer's Philly special now on Spotify.

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We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. Basketball season is upon us. It's October. Somehow the season is starting in 16 days. It's going to be 15 days on Monday by the time you hear this. We have the Ringer NBA show. We have the mismatch with Chris Vernon, Kevin O'Connor. We have some fun video stuff planned. We have KOC going to Vegas on Tuesday to see Victor Wampanyama and Scoot Henderson going head to head. A lot of basketball royalty is going to be there. I was thinking about going, but then I decided, wait a second.

Why would I go to some random basketball game in the first part of October when I could just stay home? So that's what I'm going to do because I'm old. Got the Clippers tickets. Got to figure that one out. Preseason games. You can't give those away. That'd be a good bit, just me walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard

trying to give two Clippers preseason tickets away. It's unclear if people want to go to the regular season Clippers. We'll find out. This is going to be my 19th season as a Clippers season ticket. My God, 19 seasons as a Clippers season ticket holder. Needs to say no finals games for that one. Coming up on this podcast, Cousin Sal and I are going to rehash week four. We're going to try to anoint Bailey Zappi as the new savior of not only the New England Patriots, but the league. I've had bronchitis for the last couple of days. I'm on

antibiotics. I'm on cold medication. I am lit right now. I'm not even sure I should be doing a podcast. Let's bring it Pearl Jam. All right, Cousin Sal is here taping this 845 Sunday night. I'm going to be out of control in this pod. I have been bad on the bronchitis for three days. I'm on all kinds of cold stuff. You've got boxes in the background. I don't know what's going on in your life. This could be the craziest pod we've had.

The Pats down arrow, even though almost beat the Packers in Lambeau. Cowboys up arrow. Cowboys-Eagles combined 7-1. And it's looking like the class of the NFL, that division. That's the best division rivalry right now. I hadn't even thought of that. It's not the AFC West? Yeah. I wrote down all the division rivalries,

right? If we're going to say 2022 division rivalries, Philly, Dallas, Baltimore, Cincy, Buffalo, Miami, Minnesota, Green Bay, Rams, San Francisco, Chiefs, Chargers, Tampa, New Orleans, or Indianapolis, Tennessee, Phgers, Tampa, New Orleans, or Indianapolis, Tennessee.

Philly, Dallas, good history. Philly's playing the best in the league right now. You got the Cooper Rush Ewing theory thing going, a big quarterback controversy that I know you don't want to talk about, but we're going to talk about it. And I think I'm most excited for Philly, Dallas this year. It's very exciting. It's funny you mentioned rivalries because the Cowboys and what was the Redskins

and what was the football team and is now the commies was supposed to be a rivalry and then they showed up in those uniforms that looked like cross between prison uniforms between Steelers rip off between Army. I don't know what it was. I hate that.

If you're going to screw with the uniforms, don't do it during a rivalry, right? Do it for Detroit and Seattle because everybody across the board hates those uniforms. And the only way it makes money, which I know it comes out of money, is because these kids who need to buy every uniform that a team owns.

But I'm with you. That's a great rivalry. I'm happy about this division. I hate the uniform thing, too. I don't understand it. The Bengals the other day on Thursday night, wearing these uniforms, you could have told me they were a hundred different teams

in college or the NFL and I would have believed you. You could have told me they were Wisconsin State. Any team, any city, I wouldn't have known. Would you pay extra? Like you say, look, we need to make money. The NFL is dirt poor and you're lucky if this league is even around next year. But we need to make money on new jerseys.

Now, if you put money up in the beginning of the season, we won't subject you to these hideous jerseys. But it would have been money you spent on them. Would you go for that? I think I would. $25 a person? Like we all put in $20 and they can't do these dumb uniforms anymore? Yeah, we put them down right away. I would put in $20 for Channel 701 on DirecTV

that has the four games going, but somehow like a shitload of space on the left side that's just completely unused. Because there are so many games. They loaded the early games today. And I had four on the main TV and then I had seven games going. And I was just mad the whole time

that they've screwed up Channel 701. The easiest all-time layup of a TV channel. Just put four boxes and fill the TV. Well, how about when they have three? Ads and stupid shit. There was three in the late afternoon, and then you have to have that dead box that says, like, Jets win or something stupid, right, from three and a half hours earlier.

It's like, why can't you make those three games? I don't know. There's a way to do it, that they're bigger screens, and there's just three of them. Yeah, God forbid. Anyway, your team plays Philly twice and might be our only chance to stop the Eagles from going 20-0 this year,

which I was joking about with Ben Solak last week, but now it doesn't feel like as much of a joke. I know. I keep trying to find a flaw, and I like them this week. I could blame Trevor Lawrence fumbling four times, losing four fumbles. No, let's blame that. Let's blame the four fumbles. Yeah, let's do that.

By the way, aside from the bronchitis, you lost money today. I could just tell. I could just tell. I don't know how. Are you kidding? I don't know how you did it. Yeah. Who did you have? I guess we'll get to it, but I went 11-2-1, but I don't want to talk about it. Yeah. Who did you have? I mean, I guess we'll get to it, but I won 11, 2, and 1, but I don't want to talk about that. I made like $40 going 11, 2, and 1, but did Jags hurt you?

I know Jags hurt you. What were your two losses? My two losses were I had the Steelers and I had some other team. Oh my God. You almost won the Steelers. I know. I know. Well, I won some that I had some other team. Oh my god, you almost won the Steelers. I know, I know. Well, I won some that I should have lost too.

I would say the Jaguars is one of them. Oh, and I had I went against Arizona because I still think they suck. But yeah, those are my two losses. They might. There were a couple weird results today. But the Eagles, they're down 14-0. The Jaguars never score again.

And then they finally get one late, but it goes from 14-0 to what, 29-14? I think the Eagles had 29 uninterrupted points. And Lawrence, who I was really bullish on, I thought he was playing great and he stunk. The bad weather, I don't know what was going on, but he just couldn't hold on the ball. And the Eagles, it was almost like watching what happened to the Celtics. Here we go. NBA finals when the, when the Warriors were just diving at the, at the ball because they just, you know, Miami had stumbled on this game plan of like, anytime Jalen Brown goes

to the basket, just dive at his knees and try to tip the ball. And that's what the Eagles was doing with Lawrence. They were just trying, they were just trying to like bat his balls. Like he was a basketball player and try to tip the ball. And that's what the Eagles was doing with Lawrence. They were just trying to bat his balls like he was a basketball player. And guess what? It worked. He had four fumbles and didn't recover any of them somehow. I was excited because the 14-0 lead, and I don't know if anyone's paying attention, but the Eagles, if you could get on them for one thing, is they got shut out the last two

second halves. I'm like, oh boy. So this is a quick starting team. And they did not have a quick start. But sure enough, they put up nine points in the fourth quarter, which was enough. Yeah. And Jalen Hurts threw the interception.

I was all set. Pick six. Oh, I was all set. Right, exactly. And then they had 210 yards rushing. So they hurt you many different ways. Oh, how great would it have been if this team with Cooper Rush was tied with the Eagles, didn't lose any ground for first place almost

a quarter of the way through the season? The Eagles are good. They continue to be impressive. The fact that they could just erase 14-0 deficits like that. A couple of big play receivers. They're able to run the ball. Hurts can pull two-third downs out of his ass, two-thirds and third and longs. And they have pass rush. You know, they were really, the Jags offensive line isn't awesome, but they were swarming it. And

I don't know. I was really impressed. The fact that they did that in bad weather too. I don't, didn't feel like last year that was really a bad weather team. So there's very balanced on offense, like 200 yards passing, 200 yards rushing. Yeah. Like you said, a pass rush. Hassan Redick led the way with two sacks, I think.

I'm scared of this team. I'm officially afraid. I don't know that they win the NFC, but I saw a bunch of crap otherwise, so I'm not sure who else I would take other than them. Well, we created a podcast, the Ringers Philly Special, right before the season to cover the Eagles and then do the Sixers. I'm starting to worry that Philly might be the new Boston where the Eagles, they're going to be in the mix. I think the Sixers are going to be really good this year. I hate to say

it, but I like their team. And maybe there's going to be some sort of Philly thing that's happening over the next nine months, starting with the Eagles, moving in with the Sixers. The Sixers, I think, have the kind of juiciest odds. They're that second-tier contender, but I don't think they should be. I think they should be at least up if Harden's going to be in shape. So anyway, there might be a Philly renaissance coming. You don't care because the Mets season is done.

I was just going to say, don't bring up the actual Phillies because then we're diving into baseball, and that's an area I don't want to the Mets season is done. I was just going to say, don't bring up the actual Phillies because then we're diving into baseball and that's an area I don't want to hit at all. Disgusting. Disgusting. Since the last time we saw you, Dallas won twice. Right. Did it impressively.

And you didn't really seem like you lost. I admittedly did not watch a ton of Cowboys-Washington today because it just felt like one of those games you had, but good defense. You can run the ball a little, make some throws. What am I missing? It looks like I thought when you lost your left tackle, I thought your team was going to fall apart. It didn't happen. So why? I'm trying to think, did you ever have a time when you rather see the defense than the offense? No, well, that wouldn't be the case with any of the Brady years, right, for your team?

The first year, the first Brady year was like that. I felt like we had an advantage when we were on defense almost. Right. So now we're talking almost two decades since you felt that way. And I don't even mind the Cowboys offense. Like 15 for 27, two touchdowns. I'll take that every single day out of a Cooper rush. And, you know, as long as the CD lam step up and don't drop.

And Michael Gallup was a nice, you know, come back. Even Zekiel Elliott is in, you know, you don't feel like cutting him at halftime. Right. He gets some tough yards. So, yeah, this is a tough team. I don't, I don't know that, you know that they'll go to Lambeau in January and win, but 25-10 and you're not worried at all in the fourth quarter, you can't ask for much more.

So the worst division rivalry, I think, is Indianapolis-Tennessee. Indy stinks, which we said last week. Tennessee's okay. I don't really trust any receiver they have, but I think they're better coached than Indianapolis is. That division, that could be, that really could be our eight and nine division champ division. If the Jags, maybe this was an anomaly.

I still believe in the talent on that team, but that was a pretty big pratfall they had today, considering that it's just a blow of 14, nothing lead. I thought it was brutal. But out of those four teams, I think I liked them the most, but I don't know if, uh, other than Indy, the Tennessee Houston came within three of a pretty banged up chargers team today and then they fell apart. But I think that's our worst division, right? I think you're right. And I said that, yeah, eight or nine wins takes this division because they're not going to be lopsided victories over the Jaguars and Texans. Those teams are older and better now than they were a year ago.

Actually, it may even be better than these two teams that we're discussing. I mean, the Texans are what, 0-3-1? And they're top three, no exaggeration, teams in the NFL. No, all right, maybe that's an exaggeration. No, I got on, teams in the NFL. No, all right. Maybe that's an exaggeration. No, I got on the case of the NFL, Mike. Is anyone good? Really?

Like, I was annoyed with the Bills, and then they won. But I think a better game to play is who's the worst team? Who's the absolute worst team in the league right now? And whatever your first four guesses are going to be wrong. It's not pittsburgh okay you got it right no i don't know i don't know like they they show flashes i guess it would have to be pittsburgh at this point but it's not houston right it's not detroit or seattle as you would think it's not atlanta as you might think it's not any of the teams i mean there's the bears

are probably right up there but they have two wins There's a bunch of two win teams that are just atrocious. I think I would have it between Pittsburgh and the bears. I watched the bears. I stupidly bet on the bears today. It was a bet against the giants. So I actually feel okay about it. It's like, all right,

the giants have no receivers. How are they going to score more than 10 points? Danny, Danny dimes will throw a pick. They lose both quarterbacks during the game. They throw for 71 yards total in the game, and the Bears lose by eight. How about this? Their top wide receiver was Darius Slayton, one catch for 11 yards. Yeah. Watching it, we were joking like Fields is just a running back. He should actually have the Derrick Henry running back shoulder pads

because they just know they're not going to really, anytime anything breaks down for more than a second, he's scampering off. But to lose to a team that had 71 passing yards, you would have thought that's the most incredible thing we're going to see today. And then you have the Falconscons who basically did the same thing. Mariota finished seven for 19 for 139 yards and a pick. And they somehow still beat Cleveland. They ran for 202 yards,

the Falcons. And I think before we get back to your worst, worst team thing, I think the Falcons might be this year is how the fuck did they make the playoffs team? I thought it was going to be the Panthers. Really? I think it's going to be the Falcons. They're 3-1. That division

just stinks. I feel like full divisions take off in a single day. The Saints look lousy. I don't care that they were in it at the end. The Bucs look lousy. The Falcons won. Carolina was bad. By the way, Falcons are 2-2. I got that wrong.

They could go 9-8 and make the playoffs. the Falcons won. Carolina was bad. By the way, Falcons are 2-2. I got that wrong. Yeah, they're 2-2. Yeah, but they could go 9-8 and make the playoffs. Yeah, I guess. We were looking for a team in that division to stand up to the Bucs. And I still think the Bucs defense is good. I think they play the Falcons next week, right? Yeah.

So maybe this sounds dated. But yeah, that's not a pretty division. But they're definitely not the worst team. I mean, maybe you nailed it with the Steelers. Maybe it was an easier exercise than I thought. No, I think Steelers and Bears have to be in the conversation. If you look at the point differential right now, Washington's the worst, minus 34.

Colts are minus 28. Titans are minus 26. So nobody's like really egregiously bad. If you think the last, who is the worst the last three games, it's Washington.

But Washington had that win in week one against the Jags. But Washington is trending toward potentially being the worst team. The point is like, I think in years past, you could say,

all right, through four weeks, the worst team is one that struggles to score 10 points a game. I don't think we have any of those. I don't think we have any on the other end too, where the best team is definitely putting up 35 a week, right? Yeah.

Bills did it with 23. Chiefs definitely look great, but I don't fully trust anyone yet. Well, if you had to bet for who's going to have the worst record this year, who would you bet on? Right now? Yeah. From starting forward? The odds aren't up. Well, because I had the Bears and that doesn't seem like that's going to happen. I don't want to do Detroit. I think the Bears could still

happen. You still stick with the Bears? They're 2-2. No, they're 2-2. I wouldn't certainly cross them off. Texans are 0-3-1, but like you said, they've hung around in every game. They had that Chargers game. It was a three-point game. I thought they were going to win. They were right there, and it looked

like the Chargers were caving, like always. The Commanders and Steelers are 1-3. The 1-3 teams are Vegas, Carolina, New England, New Orleans, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Washington, Houston. You're going to think this is crazy,

but if Denver hadn't won last week and they were sitting at one, they're two and two, right? If they were one and three with as tough a schedule as they have, I would take a chance with them. We'll take a quick break and then we got to talk about

Russell, Hustle, and Bustle. And the NFL week right on Monday night with FanDuel, America's number one sports book. One of my favorite things about FanDuel, same game parlays. We got one Monday night, Rams 49ers. I think the Rams are going to win. I've been cold, but if you want to listen to me, maybe my luck will turn.

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See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travisbook.fanduel.com. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too.

You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you can still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now. Just search Movember. All right, the Broncos. Here's where I'd be really scared if I was a Broncos fan. It's not just that they're 2-2.

It seems like they lost Javante Williams, who's their best offensive player. It's one of those. It's definitely a knee injury. We'll find out tomorrow. It's not good. You read the tweets. Everybody's like, it's not good.

It's not good. When do the it's not good tweets come out? And then it turns out, no, it's actually totally fine. He's played next week. It's usually a terrible sign. Knees are bad. Randy Gregory, too, right? On the defensive end.

He was carted off. The two knee injuries between Williams and Gregory. And then we could talk about Russ in a sec, but the fact that their last six games, Chiefs twice, Chargers twice, at Baltimore, home for Arizona. If they're not at least 500

heading into that stretch, they're not going to make the playoffs. My guess is they'll be like maybe five and seven or, you know, five and six, whatever. There's six games. I can't even remember how many games we have.

17 games. Let's say they're five and six going into that stretch. It's done. Cross them off. They have to be, I would say seven and4 going into that stretch. And that team, from what we've seen and then the injuries today, that team's not going to be at 7-4. They might be a cross-off. We talked about this when we did the over-unders, and I was like, I can't decide.

Denver or Miami. Who's getting that 7-seed? It's clearly Miami as the team. Well, clearly, I mean, we haven't talked about Tua, but they have to sit him. They have to get ahead of what the league is going to spank them for and sit Tua for six games, right? I mean, and then you're confident in Teddy Bridgewater? I'm not sure. I don't know if it's either of those two teams, but I'm willing Denver to come in fourth because that's what I picked.

I wasn't right about many things. I had the Raiders to win that division, the Saints to win the NFC South. So maybe your Vegas thing's still alive. Yeah, I think they're better than So maybe your Vegas thing's still alive. Yeah. I think they're better than one and three. That's for sure. But I don't have high hopes for Denver, even before the Javante Williams. They just... Russ doesn't look the same. I know you leave him voicemail

messages, but he just does not look the same at all. He's chucking balls into the ground and not really in trouble when he's doing it. There was a play today. They had like a long third down and it was in the second half. He bought himself some time and he scrambled out of the pressure. And in the old days, he either would have run and done one of those crazy

Russell Wilson runs, or he would have bought himself some time and just chucked it downfield and just checked down and threw it for like seven yards and it was short of the first down. And it was the of the first down. And it was the kind of play like you would expect like Geno Smith to make or Andy Dalton or anybody who's just on that Andy Dalton level of QBs, right? Tyrod Taylor, whoever, you name it. And that was when I was thinking,

he just might not have it anymore. We see it happen. It doesn't usually happen with football quarterbacks like this, but we see it happen in other sports where somebody's an all-star and all pro, and then it kind of flips. The only thing you can say in his favor is new team, new coach, new personnel. They don't have a lot of practice during the summer. It takes a while. What we saw from the Chiefs tonight, where the Chiefs looked awesome tonight, they looked like dog shit last week, and maybe give them the benefit of the doubt. But this is...

If you watch Wilson like we talked about before the season, if you watched him before this season, this is how he looked in Seattle for a year and a half. So I feel like this is who he is. You're not wrong and I don't think it's bad for you to say that.

It's not that surprising. He's going to be 34 at the end of the year. So that's know i will bring up basketball again but that's what what's the equivalent like when a bat when a center turns 30 younger than that right but you see it's all speed right so the speed catches up to you and then all of a sudden you don't have the advantage in addition to everything you just said new team and but the biggest problem is like you said they don't have it they don't have a stretch to catch their breath, right? They don't have like, all right, they have Houston, Detroit,

and Seattle the next three, so they'll be okay. It's just they get slapped in the face. And then on three days rest, they have Indianapolis and watch JT go crazy on them. Something stupid will happen there. The coach seems like a pretty brutal hire. He could be a one and done. Something's still happening there. The coach seems pretty, like a pretty brutal hire. He could be a one and done. That's the other thing.

And then the Minnesota coach doesn't seem much better either. The other KFC, not the Ringers KFC, but Minnesota KFC, pretty tough. Did we give

Coach Zimmer too much crap? Like, maybe, because the one thing that stands out to me is the defense isn't that good. Packers defense

doesn't seem as good as they should be either. But the Saints and Andy Dalton were moving the ball pretty much at will when they needed to from the second quarter on. Yeah, that felt like one of those how the fuck did New Orleans, like classic London game, how the fuck did New Orleans win that with all these weapons missing? And then somehow Minnesota had the classic one by three. It was the double doink. But I think they pushed. Where did the line end? Did the line end at three on Sunday?

Oh, no. It went to like four and a half with all the- Oh, so the Saints covered. Yeah, Saints covered. And I know like 80% of the tickets on Caesars at least had the Vikes. So yeah. Did you watch the game? Did you get up for it?

I did. I watched the last three quarters. I skipped the first quarter because I was sick. But not even bronchitis could stop me from watching a shitty London game. I had to do it. You replaced the... You didn't have to replace Kamara. I mean, everybody

was devastated by that. It's on the West Coast when your guy gets taken out of the lineup at 5.50 a.m., you just want to shoot somebody. Well, Louis K., PR guy for the Stars, he's in the league where I'm the commissioner, and he sent me a text at 6.27, PT, panicked. Hey, can you put Pollard in for Kamara, the league?

Oh, I love it. But the game hasn't started yet. There's nothing worse as the commissioner than getting the text or email from that guy. And for some reason in every league, it's one guy. It's not six. It's always the same guy. And Lewis is the guy in our league.

Second time. Second time. I didn't say anything, but he texted back. Second time this year where I have to come in on my white horse and do a change for him because he can't run a team. How hard is this? We're all playing by the same rules.

It's like the game's locked. Get your fucking starting lineup in. There's no like, oh, I didn't realize. It's like all of us have jobs. It's not like your job's harder than my job. Put your lineup in. Wow. And as Kamara was questionable the whole week. So don't put him in. Just put Pollard in. And as Kamara was questionable the whole week.

So don't put him in. Just put Pollard in. I don't even think you realize what's funny about this because I had the same move where I had to replace Kamara with Pollard and I just made that decision last night. I was like, forget it. You know why? Because you know how to play fantasy football. It's not like, oh, I hope Kamara plays and if he doesn't, I'll just email

my commissioner at 628. You might be giving me too much credit. You know how many points Pollard scored today? How many? Zero. Zero. Is that true? It was an exact watch. If you're in a PPR, he scored like.6 or something, but oh, poor Louis

K. I think his team needs a publicist. I mean, after all the damage you just did to it. That's funny. He might actually, I'm in two leagues with him because he's in our AL keeper league too. And he's just, he's never really contended. And he's usually, his team's usually a disaster and it's always somebody else's fault. And I just think he should take a break from fantasy sports.

Oh my God. Is that right? Is he getting canceled? I'm just lashing out His team's getting cancelled He loves when we talk He is that guy, you run a fantasy league Do you have the one guy who texts you at 629?

Yeah, it's my friend Frank Who's been doing this for 30 years Still can't get it right Yeah, I thought on internet we'd be better off But I don't know if he even has a computer But the London game is trouble. It really is. I think it caused trouble in families.

I did my thing where I turned the volume way down the night before and put it on NFL Network so that I could just hit one button, right? And we won't hear anything. But it lights up the room like a spaceship landed on our porch. So my wife is screaming at me at 626 AM. It's too many time zones away. I know they want it in prime time wherever the game is played, but I think they have to play in Greenland or something.

Like one or two time zones over. Just start it at 7 o'clock. Don't start it at 630 Pacific. Yeah, right. Exactly. The other thing, why is the crowd so raucously crazy at those games? Are they like intentionally getting the fans drunk? What's going on? Those are like the best crowds in the NFL now.

And it looks like a great field too. Yeah. Seems like a really fun. I don't want to crap on MetLife, but it's I was there for the Giants Cowboys and miraculously saw Cowboys win for the first time over the Giants ever in my life. Out of five, I think. And

I was like, wow, I'm watching this game in London where there's a game once a year and they make a better football presentation. Yeah. I don't... MetLife, which was built, what, 10 years ago? No. I had this argument with...

Oh, I guess it was 12. Yeah, the Super Bowl was 10 years ago. Yeah. In my opinion, any stadium that's built within the last 15 years, if the fans don't like it, it's just an abject disaster. Inside the stadium, it's fine, but it's so hard to get in and out. And then when you get in, it's like this five-story,

it takes forever to go anywhere. And it's just this all-day thing. I don't think people want to spend half of their day going to and from a football stadium. Hard for me to believe they didn't figure that piece out. You're building a brand new stadium. How do you not figure out getting in, getting out? I'm not going to argue with that. I think you're referring to our very own Los Angeles SoFi Stadium, which I'm not looking forward to going to Cowboys Rams this week. I mean, if Louis K was trying to get out of the MetLife Stadium,

he'd probably like one minute before, like call the Uber driver, like, hey, can you, I've just decided right now I need an Uber. Should Louis K become MetLife Stadium's publicist? We might have to bring him on next week. He might have to come on to defend himself next week. No way he will. Last minute text Louis K.

Last minute Louis. Can we have his Louis K. Last minute, Louis. Can we hear that for his new nickname? Last minute, Louis. Uh-oh, the game's about to start. Wait, I got a text. Oh, it's Louis.

I got to make a line Wait, so did you change it? Did you end up changing it? But I did the thing where I didn't mention, I didn't respond back to show my contempt. No, but then you have to

alert his teammate, not his teammate, his opponent, and say, yeah, he got this in on time. You had to go through all that too? Eh, whatever. Powered at zero points. Right, I know. The other thing is, it was 6.28 in the morning.

Like, what if I was sleeping? What if I had my phone set for like beeps and then somebody beeps and I think like it's my dad and something happened. No, it's Lewis needs a lineup change for the London game. Last second. Thanks, Lewis. London, Louis. Last minute, Louis.

London, Louis. Can we talk about Tua really quick? It's been beaten to death the last five days of Redley Stowe because this was a terrible story. We were on this podcast last week talking about how we thought he was concussed and whatever.

She's the NFL. So Kristen Winsky, who was on my, is at the forefront of the concussion stuff. And he's done incredible amounts of good stuff. He was on my podcast at ESPN, I think at least once. He's a great Twitter follower.

And he tweeted before that Bengals Dolphins game. If Tua takes the field tonight, Twitter follower. And he tweeted before that Bengals-Dolphins game, if Tua takes the field tonight, it's a massive step back for concussion care in the NFL. If he has a second concussion that destroys his season or career, everyone involved will be sued and should lose their jobs, coaches included. We all saw it, even if they must know this isn't right. One of the things that Chris has done a lot of work on and all those concussion guys that starts in Harvard, it's great. And I think the work they've done, they've been getting brains for a long time

and it's just really, really valuable. And we've learned a ton from them. One of the things we've learned is like, if you get a concussion, you come back too soon, you get another concussion. It's like worth five concussions. It's like when your brain isn't healed yet and gets another one,

that's when you get real damage. You can recover from a concussion, but you need to recover from it and you get the second one. And that's when, you know, so his whole thing is like, if somebody gets to that close together, you should just be out,

you know, for months. I'm going to be so interested to see how they handle the, when should to a back part of this. Because they're still claiming he didn't have a concussion initially, but he definitely did. And then the second one, he had the clenched fingers thing, which was just awful. And even if they say, no, no, he's feeling better. I just think he should be gone.

I'm not just saying this from a competitive thing because the Patriots are in that division. This is just somebody's life. I think he should be gone for at least six weeks. Number one, you can't leave it up to him. When they're saying, no, he watched this movie with the team and he was laughing. Stop with this crap.

This has nothing to do with anything. Hey, put his pants on and don't worry. He buttoned them and everything. It's like, no, you screwed up. We're going to see somewhere that he had two concussions in four days. That video we saw him last week walking off against the Bills between plays. We've all had back injuries. I know you've had a back injury.

You never buckle like that after a back injury, right? That's what they claim the injury was, his back. Yeah, you don't become like one of those in front of like a car wash, one of those balloon men guys, it's, it was, it was disgusting. And then the same thing. And I was out. And so I'm watching and I thought, I'm like, Oh, he mangled his finger. Is that what I saw? Cause I wasn't like paying attention. I was like out of that event. And I'm like, Oh, are you kidding me? No, that's, that's at least six to eight weeks. Like I said, on their own before the NFL steps in and says, no, no, no, Dolphins, you're about to be fined again for another ludicrous thing. Now, that said, I do think some people are hypocritical about this, like on Twitter,

like people who have said, oh, let them play. Maybe not with head injuries, but people definitely want, in general, their stars to play hurt, to try to play hurt. So there's a little bit of hypocrisy here, but when it's head injuries, I think anything goes and you got to protect these guys. I think part of the hypocrisy, which I think belongs to all of us is that Thursday game snuck up on everybody. First of all, he went back in in the second half and it didn't pass the smell test for any of us, but only like Kristen

Winskey is the only one I saw who just came out and was like, this is the most fucked up thing I've seen in a long time. They can't allow this to happen. And then it happened. Maybe if there were people out there that were doing that, I think for the most part, people were like, oh, maybe he didn't get a concussion. I think we're benefited the doubting too much with a league that, um, even though it's made the game a little bit safer, I wouldn't say they're exactly,

uh, they're exactly, uh, caring for the players. And what about it? And it's right in our face that, that, yeah,

that highlight of him. Like, it's not like he went under the blue tent and couldn't remember his, you know, his mother's name, maiden name or something like, and they hid that, like that was there for everyone to see. It's disgraceful. Yeah. If you fall into those best fight videos on Twitter

or any of those, you see those YouTube clips or whatever, and when a guy gets punched like that, and they'll stagger around two seconds later, that's basically what he did. He tried to get up and the first time, not the second time, tried to get up and the first time not the second time try to get up and then he's like you know he had wobbly knees it was like a boxer when they're giving them the 10 count and he's trying to he's trying to stand up say he's fine and then he's not fine and the ref will just stop it um the whole this wasn't a roy jones jr thing where it was like pretending he was not just yeah the guy right Ric Flair. That certainly wasn't. Right. No Ric Flair. Well, it was a terrible story and the league has been able

to skate on these for a while because people love football. We talked about this at the beginning of the year. The league is immune to this stuff. During the pandemic, people were so happy to have football back. Everybody gives it a wide swath. But in this case,

they almost can't let Tua come back until they know he's like 170%, not even a hundred percent. He needs to be like able. He needs to be like Goodwill hunting at a fucking chalkboard doing math formulas and speaking multiple languages before I would feel good about sending him out there. I'm telling you all the, all the work on this is two concussions in less than a week.

Like this is like what happened to Eric Lindros. This is what's happened to a bunch of different athletes who were just never the same. Fucking Antonio Brown in a hotel room in Dubai. Remember that concussion he took? I don't feel like he was ever the same since then. In that playoff game, he got knocked out cold. Like he was out.

He was like unconscious. And he was, I don't think he was ever the same since then. In that playoff game, he got knocked out cold. He was out. He was unconscious. I don't think he was ever the same after that. There might be 45 things wrong with him. Yeah. He's in Britney Spears territory. We can't even make fun of him. But one thing's for sure. We can't let Tua decide

on his own when he's ready to come back. Maybe if he's able to field Louis K's text on a Sunday morning, that'll be a nice step forward. He has wits about him. Well, if your son got a concussion playing football,

how many weeks would you say there's no fucking way you're playing? Because I've thought about this. I've talked about this with my wife. We had an agreement that it was going to be one and done. would you say there's no fucking way you're playing? Because I've thought about this. I've talked about this with my wife. We had an agreement that it was going to be one and done. And then you see the excitement of the game and that they're five and one and he's making an input. He's making an impact, like blocking extra points and stuff.

And then it clouds your judgment. That's what I mean. It's easy to be hypocritical about it. But yeah, I would definitely, if he's woozy and staring at his eggs in the morning. Yeah. I want him out for a while. Like, I forget. Was it one of the receivers? Duvernay. The Ravens. He had a concussion. Feeling better. He's going to play this week. He's just got a concussion. He's feeling better?

What does that mean? They got to completely overhaul this. The one thing the league has shown, and this is not praise, they'll fuck things up royally. They'll do the dumbest. They'll fuck things up royally. They'll do the dumbest. They'll do almost the opposite of what they should do.

But then when enough people notice, they will kind of be like, oh, man, all right. And then they'll put in some sort of policy. They have fixed stuff. But it's like you have to beat them over the head with it to get them to fix it, no pun intended. And the right people have to be upset about it or the wrong people, right? So like COVID, I think you could have COVID on Monday at this point and get in the game Sunday.

I'm not sure if that's true. I think you could have COVID like the week before, you know, three days leading up. If you pop a negative, you're good. This changed over the couple of years. If you compare that to head injuries, that's insanity. Right. changed over the couple of years. If you compare that to head injuries, that's insanity, right? Before we do Guess the Lines, first coach fired.

This has been a fun talk. No, we had to do it. It's necessary. I get it. First coach fired, Matt Rule, Ron Rivera, Frank Reich. I think those are the three right now. I know you like the Panthers you want to hang on to rule

Ron Rivera I feel like Ron Rivera I want to hang on to rule the Panthers are a mess I do I think they're underachieving yeah who was the third one Reich Rule, Rivera, and Reich

I think they give Reich a little bit of a break I don't know why, but I think because he'll get to eight wins. I really wanted to give it to Kingsbury. I think he stinks. I know, but they won today. It's tough. I know. Some of these teams are going to have two wins. The Colts have won two

and one. Has any team gone backwards 15 to 20 yards on more first and goals than the Cardinals? That was crazy. I said, what am I watching here? I feel like they have 11 plays. They almost got seven there. Yeah.

And Kyler's just getting mad. And then they'll cut to Kingsbury and he's screaming in his headset. And they're basically like Jack Horner and Dirk Degler in front of the pool when the ready to fucking shoot, Jack. Ready to fucking shoot. What state? State of California? It feels like they're going to get in a huge fight every week.

Our friend Hench has a funny take on Kingsbury because he's staring into that crazy play, that laminate play sheet, and nothing works. It's like, all right, Kyler has to improvise, right? From the eight yard line. And, and that's the only thing that works. Forget about anything you're calling. I don't know. I, but out of those three,

I think it's, uh, I think you got it with the Panthers guy there. Uh, rule. Well, it'd be funny if it was the play sheet, but it was just like this shot of a playground and kids running around. And that was the play sheet.

He kept looking at just for keeping reminding himself. I just have Kyler run around. I will say the blueprint. It's the play sheet he kept looking at. Just keeping reminding himself, I just have Kyler run around. I will say- It's a blueprint. It's a blueprint for his new living room, his state-of-the-art living room that the Helms have dropped. Yeah.

I will say the Marquise Brown trade so far has been pretty good for them. He made some big plays today. I did not like that trade, but he's been better on the Cardinals than he was on the Ravens. The only other thing we didn't talk about, we can talk about the rest of it when we do Guess the Lines.

I wanted more from that Bills-Ravens game. It was just kind of blah. I don't know whether the weather did it or what, but Ravens took a big lead. So it was kind of, this game might suck. Bills kind of came back, but there was really no electricity to that game at all. It did not feel like a showdown.

Zappy Rogers was more exciting. The old Zappy Rogers showdown? I forgot about that. Yeah, I'm not... I only got excited about that in the fourth quarter. What happened? They went forward. Instead of kicking the field goal, they went forward from the three, and

he got picked, which is the worst thing that could happen because then you're like, all right, you know what? We'll force them to go 99 yards. Like, no. Oh, wow. He intercepted in the end zone. Now they only have to go 80 and actually they didn't have to go 80 because they only had to kick a field goal, but the Bills did a masterful job leading that clock.

Like I wasn't even sure you and I are almost always sure how to how to control that last minute. I'm like, yeah, man, I'm not positive. Yeah, they are almost always sure how to, how to control that last minute. And I'm like, oh man, I'm not, I'm not positive. Yeah. They did.

They did a great job. I'm trying to look at for MVP odds. Do you see them yet? I thought this was going to be, I mean, he was three to one last week. Josh Allen, is it going to be plus two 50?

Cause they beat the Ravens. Well, let me ask you this. Kyle, turn the Tik TOK on. Oh, it's time. He's three to one still. Yeah. How many wins did the Eagles have to get before Jalen Hurts has a chance to win the MVP? Like what if they're 16 and one and nobody else has more than 12 wins. Oh, yeah. Of course. All right. What if they're 15-2?

No way. No, that's right. No, he's second. Josh Allen's 3-1 and then Lamar, Mahomes, and Jalen Hurts are all plus 550. Yeah, I guess today was the first time I seriously started thinking about it. Because what were his odds at one point? Like 40-1? Oh, yeah.

Even higher? Yeah. Because I was thinking today, I think this is going to be a weird season, and especially because it's longer, but we have that extra week, and everything ebbs and flows, and all of a sudden this team looks good. The next week they don't.

But it does feel like we're not going to have a lot of high, high-level record teams. feel like we're not going to have a lot of high, high-level record teams. I feel like we're going to have a lot of 10-7, 11-6, 12-5, and that's going to be the cutoff. But that Eagles schedule is ridiculously easy compared to your schedule. Probably right. Yeah.

Your team, Dallas, you play Philly twice. You also play, you haven't even played these games yet, at the Rams, at Green Bay, at Minnesota, at Jacksonville, at Tennessee. Those are five tough games. The Eagles have your team twice. They're at Arizona and at Indy, and they're home for Green Bay and New Orleans. And they also had Jacksonville at home today instead of having to go there.

It's just like, it's unbelievable how much easier their schedule is than Dallas, even though they're in the same division. The first place center schedule is a real thing. It really is. Yeah, it really is. The Bills had to play, you know, the Ravens. They're all playing good teams right now, right? But, you know, you say all this,

and then we watch Patrick Mahomes, like, you know, that thing where like Fonzie or Chachi used to bounce quarters off his bicep and catch him or something. That's what Mahomes is doing now with Ball. The way he's flicking touchdowns is you're constantly reminded that he really, really is the best. It's like, well, he's got a lot of weapons. It doesn't even matter. His weapons are, how many are on my team?

10 plus me. How many are on defense? 11. Okay. I don't care what name is on the back. Give me Jody Fortson. Give me McCall Hardman. Give me Justin Watson.

All these guys that don't really matter, and I'm going to do a number on you. I mean, we underrate how impressive he is. That was my case when I picked him to win the Super Bowl. They burned me last week against the Colts. I went against them this week with the Bucs, and then they looked awesome again. And then I'm like, I'm even a double moron

because we're only four weeks in. I've already abandoned my Super Bowl case. Now I'm losing more money on it like an ass. And Tampa Bay arguably had the best defense. Put 41. I know they turn the ball over in enemy territory a lot, but 41 against Tampa Bay. Well, has any team ever fumbled the opening kickoff

and then won the game? Has it ever happened in the history of football? Interesting. No, probably not. They fumbled the opening kickoff. I'm like, I'm out. This is the loss. It was the first play, right?

Because then you're basically getting the kickoff in both halves, including on the 20. When Mahomes had that spin play, Collinsworth was in rare form. It was my favorite. Oh, oh, oh, Al. Oh, you're not Al. What's your name?

Mike. Mike, that's not fair. That is not fair. Mike, Mark, who are you? That wasn't fair. Patrick Mahomes, my God. Did you see? He was great.

He went to the Thursday night game because allegedly he went because it was in Cincinnati, but you know why he went? Because he missed Al. Oh, did he? I didn't even know that. Oh yeah. They showed him and he was in the luxury box talking to Goodell, but you know, he really went because Al, I just, I just missed what we had, Al. I just can't believe they broke us up. Amazon. You know what? I won't even buy Amazon anymore, Al. I don't even use Amazon Prime. I'm so upset. I miss you.

I get my razor blades at the local Ralph's. I'm not still with them. But you know who misses that? I miss them. I really do. We make fun of them. I do too. They split up a great team and for no reason.

They did. They really did. No reason at all. They had so many years left. I like what fucking Aikman did. They stuck together. Like, all right, someone else so many years left. I like what Buck and Aikman did. They stuck together. Like, all right, someone else wants me. All right, Fox, you either resign, both of us,

or we're going somewhere else. I love that. That's great. And not just because Buck mentioned me on Monday Night Football last week. But no. Yeah, that was nice. They stuck together. Yeah.

Al, I go to my local drugstore. I buy books in my local bookstore again. I go to the local hardware. I can't even look at Amazon Prime now. It just hurts. It just hurts me. It hurts me too. Just come back. Can't we just trade Tariqo for you? That's another thing

I would put, another thing I'd put 20 bucks on. Uniforms that don't disgust us and the broadcast teams we want. We should be able to buy it a la carte. And channel 701 being functional. That's right. Alright, we'll take a break. Do you guys have signs? When you ride transit, please

be safe. Yeah, be safe. Because what you do, others will do too. Others will do it too. So don't take shortcuts across tracks. Don't do that. In fact, just don't walk on tracks at all. Not at all. Trains move quietly so you won't hear them coming. You won't hear them coming.

See, safe riding sets an example. Yeah, an example for me. Because safety is learned. It's learned. Okay, give it up. Give what up? Really? Really, really.

This message is brought to you by Metrolinks. All right. So before we do Guess the Lines. So if you had these, you've had seasons like this where you just, everything's going wrong and the picks and that. Now, like I'm losing my confidence with picks now and I'm going to go the other way. I'm going to embrace it because as you know, you've done this. You've been making picks in public forums forever.

Sometimes it's not your year. You either want to be really good or really bad. You don't want to be in between. And I think I'm in the midst of a really bad year. And I'm going to embrace it. Just people can fade me. I don't have it this year. Just fade my picks.

Great. Well, you're winning. I don't know what that says about me because you're beating me through four weeks. But all right, let's see what you got. No, I'm guessing the lines I'm winning. But in our ZFL Picks League, I'm like 12 games over 500. But with million-dollar picks and actual gambling, of course, I had the Browns today losing to the Falcons' rush for 205 yards, even though Patterson's hurt. Just shit like that. I'm like, all right. So one of the things I was thinking, and I want people,

TomShady300 is Kyle's Twitter address because he checks his replies. I was thinking about some sort of exorcism to wash the stink of 2022 off me through four weeks, what that would be. And I'm not talking about like, you know, like chicken blood or something psycho, but is there some sort of, some sort of thing I could do to switch my luck for week five? Cause I just feel like, I feel like over and over again, I'm on the wrong end of these either or things where Jack, like stuff like Jacksonville 14, nothing. And you know, we had the underdog parlay for million dollar picks was Jacksonville, 14-0. We had the underdog parlay for million-dollar picks. It was Jacksonville plus seven and a half adjusted with the Titans to win.

Jacksonville loses by eight. Jacksonville, they scored a cut it to one possession, but instead of going for the two early, which a lot of teams do, they kicked the PAT to be down eight. So I lost half point. It's shit like that. And I'm wondering, what can I do to change my luck? So what do you think? What have you done when you've been in a funk? Have you tried cryo?

I can get your group on. No, cryo is not, maybe I should stop cryo. Maybe that should be part of what I do. Oh, stop cryo. Maybe stop crying and then stop cryo. Stop crying, stop cryo. What else? Don't answer your friend's text at 627 in the morning. I don't know. I think you're right. I'm like this too. If you give like four picks away on a Friday, right? You're like, I want to do good with those. And I'm like, wait a minute. Oh, I suck at that. But I'm also like

11 and five every week if you pick every game. So yeah, it's whatever you want to do good with. So maybe just give all the picks next week. See what happens. You just pick every game? Yeah, yeah.

A million dollar picks, yeah. So I do like $500,000 on every game? I don't know your dumb money, how you allot the money. Look at this. In our CFL- 500,000. Yeah.

I'm 37 and 26 in our picks league. And I'm three and one in double downs. So my record's 40 and 27 in that league. And yeah,000. Yeah. I'm 37 and 26 in our picks league. And I'm three and one in double downs. So my record's 40 and 27 in that league. And yet, whatever. I'm going to do something to change my luck. And I don't know what it is, but one of it might be, I might block Louis K on my phone. Might be one of my things. Couldn't hurt.

It really couldn't. 6-27. Hey, can you pitch Kabar from Pollard? Unbelievable. I hope people are enjoying this and trust me, you would love it so much more if you saw Lewis's reaction when 50 people text him about, oh, they were making fun of you on

the podcast. He'd be so upset. You just spent time with him in Brooklyn. Yeah. I did. Yeah, we went to the Giants Cowboys together. Can we tell the baby doll story about Letterman or no. Yeah, we went to the Giants-Cowboys together. Can we tell the Baby Doll story about Letterman or no? Yeah, it's just like he doesn't care. Letterman doesn't want to be bothered.

Letterman's coming off his best performance, I think, ever on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He was sharp as a tack. It was like 1992 David Letterman back again. And he's great. And he's had run-ins with Babydoll where he doesn't want to, he doesn't just want to deal with them. And Babydoll goes through my cousin, Mickey, who's like the, you know, she works in the talent department.

Everybody who has been instructed to keep Babydoll out of there. And he's got to do, baby, I'm here. How are you, Dave? You know, I manage Colbert. I manage... He starts listing his clients. Yeah, yeah. And Lederman plays it perfectly

and says, Never heard of you. Don't remember you. No, no. Doesn't ring a bell. Doesn't do it all that. He shakes them off. It was so great.

It was the greatest thing. I think there's pictures of it, but there's no video. And then he does it again with Jennifer Aniston. He's the worst. He did it with Aniston too? Of course, yeah. It's like, what are you

doing? He's like, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't go and say hi to these people. It's like, what is your job? They're all complaining about you. Two attacking us celebrities? Yeah. It's harassment. Well, the best one ever we talked about before in the pod was when he harassed Oprah. Oprah, you remember me? No, no, you's harassment. Well, the best one ever we talked about before in the pod was when he harassed Oprah.

Oprah, you remember me? No, no, you remember me. When he gets abrasive that they don't remember him and they're like, I literally don't remember you. Yeah, he did. I don't even know if I should know. You decide if you want to cut this. But I actually walked in with him. I had to see it in person.

He did this with Sean Penn. And I guess he had some crazy nights with Sean Penn 30 years ago. And Sean Penn didn't necessarily want to be reminded of his crazy past. And so he was like eyeballing his assistant. And the assistant's like, I don't know who the hell this is. I was like, baby, let's just get out of here. We're definitely leaving that in. Yeah. i love it

whatever you want to do he loves it but i that's become kimball goes to brooklyn once a year yeah and and baby goes for the whole time and then the staff has to spend time making sure baby's not harassing the guests yeah on jimmy's show which is the whole point is to have a celebrity friendly interactions with the guests. Right. Exactly. A great experience for them from the beginning to the end. Guess the lines.

Thursday night could be a Loser Leaves Town match. Mm-hmm. In Denver, Broncos, Colts, Loser Leaves Town meaning the coach. Nat Hacker, P.I.

Could be in trouble after this game. Frank Reich, if the Colts go one and four and then you got the 10 days off, I'd be worried about him as well. I don't like either of these teams. And I promise you this, this is a stay away gambling game. I know people talk themselves in the Thursday night game, but these are two teams that are not playing well with four days rest, and this game

could go 90 different directions. I'm going to say Broncos at home, favored by three. All right, we both get this. We both said exactly three. Now, here's my thing with these. I did this. I was successful with this in the NBA playoffs. I think I'm like you. I think these Thursday night games

are wonky, and the teams are just as erratic. So take the minus nine and a half on both sides. You'll get good plus money. Oh, interesting. Yeah, double-digit win for either of these teams. Not sure which one, but it doesn't matter. I like it.

Sunday marquee game. I have Eagles cards for this. I think the Eagles now are on undefeated watch. It's in Arizona. Yeah, because they have three hard games left. I mean, granted, they could blow some dumb Giants game, whatever. Their schedule is so easy. It's just, I'm excited to see how many games in a row they can win before we can officially start having the undefeated combo.

And Kyler Murray is fun. We already know what's going to happen in this game. The Eagles are going to go up 21 to 3. What do you think? 20 to 3, 21 to combo. And Kyler Murray's fun. We already know what's going to happen this game. The Eagles are going to go up 21-3. What do you think? 20-3, 21-3? Yeah. 24-0? And it'll be like, oh my God, the cards are going to... And then all of a sudden, Kyler will just start running

around. And then I'll say, man, now it's a 14-point game. Oh, they've cut it to eight! Yeah. I think you're right. I'm looking at this. You're right. I'm looking at every other game, and there's not one matchup

where there's established quarterbacks going into the season where you'd look forward to. But go ahead. Billy gives how many? I think you could make a case the Eagles are going to be favored in every game the rest of the way

except for at Dallas, and they might be favored in that one. But if you go through, that's in play. I have the Eagles favored by three in Arizona. I had that too. It's five and a half. Five and a half! So they're already getting a little Eagles tax.

Yeah. No one's buying into Kingsbury. I think they're really worried. Well, it's never fun to watch another couple fight on a dinner date or a quarterback and a coach fight during a football game that you've been on. Those are two just awkward moments. I think it's like, no, this is all my fault. No, no, no, no.

It's my fault. That terrible play was my... I wanted that terrible play. And they crushed the Panthers. Yeah. All right. Second straight London game. We have the Packers coming off just barely surviving Bailey Zappi.

And the Arizona Cardinal, the New York football giants, who threw for 71 yards this week. Hey, London, I hope you like crap. It's like the Norm MacDonald joke. This could be a Saquon Barkley fest or this could be just Aaron Rodgers just picking the Giants apart from four quarters. I think it's double digits.

I'm going to say Packers by 10 and a half. Oh, wow. All right, where am I? I get this. I said six and a half. It's seven and a half. Oh, okay. Because it's not a home game,

and the Giants somehow are three and one, as bad as they are. And thank God they lost the Cowboys. Do you know how miserable it would be to deal with Giants fans if they were 4-0 at this point? I know. We'd have to ship them all to London.

And I don't know. Packers capable of putting up 45 anymore? I think those days might be over. Yeah. How many points are the Giants going to score in this game? Yeah. 10? I mean, you're right.

It's a Saquon thing, if at all. They didn't really score against Cowboys either. So the Giants beat Tennessee, Carolina, and Chicago, and they lost to Dallas. Tennessee, Carolina, and Chicago. And they lost to Dallas. Tennessee, Carolina, and Chicago. What will they finish the season with for wins? Would you say less than 20? Less than 20 wins?

Combined. Tennessee, Carolina, and Chicago. Will they win 20 games combined? Oh, I see. Yeah, I think 20 is fair. Yeah. So this is the first good team the Giants have played. Well, I see. Yeah, I think 20 is fair. This is the first good team the Giants have played. Well, I'm just looking

at the Patriots. They had no right being in this game either. They lost by they should have won. They should have beat the Packers in Lambeau. So are the Giants that much worse offensively? Maybe they are. Can we talk about that Patriots game for a second? Yeah. Because I think people are going to be

down on the Packers coming out of that game. I thought the Patriots, Kyle was a witness, Van Lathan was a witness today. I said before the game, the Pats were either going to win or lose by three. I really believe they're going to do the old school, run the ball, occasional play action, good pass rush. It just felt like an early 2000s Pats game. And it really was. And I think if Hoyer doesn't get hurt,

I actually think they would have won. Zappy had a couple of good moments and it was fun that he didn't self-combust. But their last three, they had three three and outs to end the game, two in the fourth quarter and one in OT. He just, the moment got too big for him. He was a third string quarterback a week ago. But just, the moment got too big for him. He was a third-string

quarterback a week ago. I think the Pats are actually pretty good. I think your defense kept it in there too. I didn't see a lot of separation from these Green Bay receivers, pass catchers, as nifty as Aaron Rodgers were. Your

Juwan Bentleys and Adrian Phillips were all over the place, I felt. They actually had a good draft for once. They have a pass rush. They have two good running backs. I think Stevenson and Harris are both good. They have multiple guys, no star receivers, but at least guys who can kind of get open.

And the quarterback position has killed them the whole season. Mack was bad for the first three games. And Zappi today, he didn't kill them. But he also, they needed him to make a couple plays. And he just, you know, he's a third string QB. But I think the team is good. You can't ask for more than a third string than 10 for 15 for 99. I know.

That's what I'm saying. He was fine. But they just needed him to make one play in those last three drives. My point is I think this Pats I don't want to compare it to 2001 they had that game

against the Rams on a Sunday night when they lost to the Rams but you came away going this team's good I think this team other than the QB position is good

and if Mack can come back and be more like the Mack from last year and not not turn the ball over and this is a team that should just run the ball, play defense. They hit on all their fourth-round picks. The kick returner today, who I don't know where he was the first three games,

Marcus Jones, was the most exciting kick returner they've had since Cordero Patterson. Jack Jones, who fell to the fourth round because he got kicked out of school a few years ago because he tried to break into a Panda Express. So Kyle and I call him Panda Jack. We're pro Jack Jones. We love him. But he's really good at cornerback.

And then Zappy, who didn't embarrass himself. I think most guys would have taken a shit in the field. I think the Pats are pretty good. I wouldn't rule them out as a seven seed. Okay. Well, that's funny. But yeah, no, look, we just went over how nobody's great. So, of course, you're going to have to get to nine wins. So, if you think you can look at that schedule

and you could go eight and five the rest of the way, because that's what you have to do. I no longer think it's 10 and seven in the AFC. I think nine and eight, these teams fighting each other is good enough. Well, first four weeks they play at Miami. It turns out Miami,

I think is a good team. We would agree. They play at Pittsburgh. They win. They lose to Baltimore. I think we can agree. Baltimore is like a legit contender. Yeah.

And then they lose to green Bay and overtime today. But then it gets a little easier. They got Detroit at Cleveland, Chicago at the jetsets, Indy home for the Jets next six weeks. So they might come out of that and be potentially five and four.

Was it fourth and five at midfield or were they even on the Packers side of the field when they punted? Was it fourth and five or more? No, it was more than fourth and five. The punter really hurt them today. Really, the reason they lost that game today was the punter five or more yeah no it's more than fourth and five the punter really hurt them today i mean really the reason they lost that game today was the punter he was awful all right uh you got lucky too though that was like negative five seconds on the play clock when you threw

that first touchdown that was stupid and zappy that happens twice we just put it it happens a lot it happens twice in every game i don't know why the refs are so bad at this. Can't they put a chip in the ball? They put a chip in dogs and cats and humans. Can't put a chip in the ball. When it gets down to zero, the ball explodes. It's just,

it's hard to watch. The quarterback gets electrocuted. Yeah, something is a shock or some kind of something. Let the ball explode. It could be a nice agenda reveal or whatever. I got two watchable games. One is your team playing the Rams in LA.

I don't want to go to this. I don't want to go. It took two and a half hours to get to MetLife on a Monday night, and now it's going to take twice that. I live 12 miles away. What is it? A one o'clock game? It's a one o'clock Pacific.

Yeah. You're a hundred percent going to this. Who are you kidding? Oh, there's going to be like 50,000 Dallas fans there. I, and they're all going to be trying to get out of the same parking lot as me.

I won't make it for guest Alliance. If this ends at four 30, well, I won't, I won't be able to make it. I'll do it from the car. I factored in the Dallas home field advantage for this game, even though it's in LA. I have Rams by four.

We tie there. I said four. It's six. That's too high because it's going to be a Dallas home game. We're going to lose, though. This is Cooper Rush. He finally meets... I don't know. He's had some pretty clean pockets. Let's just say that.

He's done well. I like him. I watch him. He's as good as two dozen quarterbacks I watch every Sunday anyway, but he might be in a little trouble this week. I like him. Tampa is home for Atlanta. I picked Tampa today as that was one of my million dollar picks

because I felt like that game was when you have the hurricane and it can go either way, right? People can overreact to that and be like, oh, that team's screwed. They're going to be dealing with family stuff. And then you're like, oh, I should have known.

It's just football. Or it's a situation like you have today where they just from the first minute looked like they were a mess. I was surprised how bad their defense was. I know the Chiefs played great, but I really thought they had a good defense. And they were so bad in that game. I don't know what to think.

So do we toss that game off because of what happened in Florida this week? Or did they just finally go against the Reds? That sounds very sexual. I mean, just throw it away. Is it a throwaway? Or I don't know. Or maybe that was really what their defense is this week. I was surprised because like we said,

they had turnovers, which left them in compromising positions, right? They had at least two fumbles, right? No interceptions for Brady. But they held Mahomes to 249, which isn't crazy. The 189 on the ground is what you'd never see. I never would have guessed that. Vida Vea and that front seven.

Yeah. I thought the Chiefs would run for a zero. Right. Right. So, yeah, that concerns me a little bit. But I still think they're a top four or five defense. Well, this Bucs-Falcon game is in Tampa and I have Bucks by seven.

I said eight. It's eight and a half. People aren't believing in the flying Mariotas just yet. Well, it's tough when your quarterback's not throwing for any yards. Fairly watchables. Let's rip through these. Buffalo's at home for the Steelers.

I think this is going to be our highest line of the year. Oh, farewell to Mitch Trubisky. That's it. You don't think we'll see him again. That's it. XFL? XFL? XFL?

We stuck with him for longer than 85% of the people did, I would say. Well, our take was always if he has a good team around him and he's not making mistakes, he might be able to go 10-7, 10-6, whatever. On a bad team, no way. With no line. I have the Bills by 12.5 in this game at home. Good job by you.

I went light. I said 11. It's 14. You're right in saying it's the biggest of the year. 14. You're right in saying it's the biggest of the year. 14. Mitch Trubisky has been benched at halftime. Funny one

to see the whole for non-injury reasons or whatever they like to say when the guy's just been benched. Chargers are in Cleveland. Not sure what to make of the Chargers game. JC Jackson came back. They're still missing some other guys.

They still look like a poorly coached mess every once in a while. They kept letting Houston back in that game. And the Browns, who I thought were going to roll over the Falcons and run all over them, and they instead got run on all over by the Falcons.

I don't know what to make of this game, but I think the Chargers are going to be favored. I have Chargers by one. I got this. I said two and a half. It's three. They don't trust Cleveland that much. I don't trust either of these teams.

Yeah, this is rough. It's weird. You didn't mention Staley because I guess because they're two and two, but he was favored to win coach of the year and there were rumblings when Houston was coming back like this guy could be the first coach fired, right? If Houston had won that game. Yeah.

I think it was in play. Pats are home for the Lions. Tough one for the Lions today. They're missing some guys. But they got destroyed by Seattle. I'll give you a hint. I'm off by five points here, so you should steal this. Seattle-Detroit did not make one of my TVs,

and it turned out it was the most fun of all the games. Yeah, for sure. Who knew? Geno Smith is hitting 70% of his targets. He's a 70% passer. If you took somebody who was in a coma for the last 20 years and you just had them watch the Seattle game and the Denver game today, and then you were like, one of these teams traded the other guy

and got all these picks back, which quarterback do you think it was? Most of them would have picked Geno, right? Yeah. If they were in a coma for three days, I think they probably would have done that. I don't know what we're seeing with either of these guys. I have the Pats favored by

two over the Lions. Am I a complete idiot? I had the Lions favored by two and a half. You get it. It's Pats by two and a half. You get it. It's Pats by two and a half. Oh, okay. Why is... What? I'm telling you.

Zappy's favored already against the pro team? I think the Pats are pretty good. I thought they would keep the Packers game close. I'll tell you this. Belichick was into the game today. You watched the game today, right? Yeah, sure. He was old school, getting mad at the

refs, whipping his head. He got so mad at that when they had the opportunity to review that call. He was furious. He was running down the sideline, calling timeouts. He was talking to Zappi. They cut over the side. It really felt like Belichick was like, I think he likes this team. I don't think he's like

the quarterback play, but I think he likes the team. This is like a very prototypical early 2000s Belichick was like, I think he likes this team. I don't think he's liked the quarterback play, but I think he likes the team. This is like a very prototypical early 2000s Belichick team. Yeah, if his game plan going into it is we're going to run and we're going to play old school defense, what's better for him? Yeah. It makes him look great, right? And that's basically what they did.

Yeah, and you're right. There were a couple plays away from the quarterback from winning, but I don't know. They should be, you know, you talked about Detroit as bad and stupid a team as they are. Sometimes they score 24 points a game usually. Right.

Hmm. Yeah. You'd think, I don't know. One thing I heard is, you know, I have some pats birdies craft loves Zappy. Oh,

and craft thought he should have started this week over Hoyer he's like all in on Zappy so I don't know we'll see you know who else is all in on Zappy? Nephew Kyle you've never seen anybody get dumped faster than Mac Jones did for an hour Bailey Zappy just did a couple things and Kyle basically took his Mac Jones jersey

and just buried it in my backyard. Is he doing shots of Bailey's now? Is Bailey's his drink? No, Kyle's Sober October for Kyle. He didn't tell you? Oh, really? Yeah, Sober October is a thing. You only got 29 days.

You're good. Wow. Good for you, Kyle. Saints, Seahawks in New Orleans. And I think the Saints are favored by four. Yeah, that's what I had. It's five. That's a bad game.

Nobody should bet on that game. I don't know. Don't bet on that game. That's such a disappointment. I had high hopes for the Saints. And Winston's going to be questionable every Thursday for the rest of the year. Well, and then Kamara. That seems all over the place. And they hit going to be questionable every Thursday for the rest of the year. Well, and then Kamara. That team's all over the place.

And they hit on the Olavi pick, ironically. That guy's good. Right. They traded all that stuff for him and it seemed a little crazy. He's really good. Well, Michael Thomas duped us, right?

It's like, no, I'm ready week one. Come on. It's old Mike is back. It's like, no, no, no. He needs a month off now. He'll be in Dubai soon. Dolphins at the Jets. And we have no idea who the Dolphins quarterback is going to be.

But if it's two, I feel like there's going to be some sort of uprising. Teddy Bridgewater with a week with the offense. And the Jets are the Jets. But it is in Jersey. I'm going to say Dolphins by four and a half. I said three and a half, and it's three. Oh, wow. Not a lot of respect for the Dolphins.

There are threes all over. I don't want to tip my hand here with the rest of the picks, but there's a lot of threes. I think Vegas just gave up on some of these games. Well, Titans at Washington is the next one, and I had Titans by three in that one. You get that exactly. I said two.

That's a bad game. That could be Rivera's last game. If they lose that game, I think that could be it. You think that's it? Yeah. I'll also tell you, I'm going to try not to watch a minute of that game. You could stay away. They did a nice job putting another eight, nine games in the one o'clock slot.

One Easter. I could be skipping. None of these games really excite me. I could be going to my daughter's soccer game on Sunday. No, you were right. You did it today. You did a little league game, right? You were a little league game today.

I did it for the last quarter of the late afternoon games. Yeah, I was at baseball. You got to do it. You didn't miss much. I didn't miss much because I had the stupid TVs right by me in the form of a phone, but we'll get to that later. My daughter's on a really good team and she's having a great time and she's totally invigorated and she's playing great. She's like, I'mated and she's playing great she's like nice it's just i just having so much fun playing soccer you forget how much fun it is to win versus to not win yeah it's like yeah oh it turns out when you're on a winning team that's more fun than a team that

wins and loses or just loses yeah the winning part is more invigorating um jags Texans in Jacksonville. I had Jags by six. You get this one. I had four and a half. It's seven. Am I winning? Well, I think it might be tied. Three, six, eight, two, three, four, five, six, eight to eight.

And four left. What a heroic performance by me. I'm on like antibiotics. I'm on NyQuil fentanyl. I'm on all kinds of stuff. Don't take a lap just yet. Don't do it. I did all right in a couple of these. 49ers, Panthers.

I think it's officially time to say I was wrong about the Panthers. And it turns out it was the Falcons. I think the Falcons are going to be the team. The Falcons. That's where four games in. Yeah, maybe not. Maybe I wasn't. Well, I'll tell you this.

Baker was flat out terrible in the game today. And he might be on his way out of the league from what we're watching. Sam Darnold's got to be like, wow, I'm not better than this guy. Yeah. I recommend you rest, rest up and get the fluids and everything.

But if you do have a few hours, take a look at Baker Mayfield box scores over the last few years. Not that many great games, turns out. No. He won that Pittsburgh playoff game. That was fun. Maybe this is what we deserve.

Top five QB of the last 10 years for reactions from his wide receivers after passes they've either bounced or sailed over their head. They always have that thing where they're like, it's not me, right? It's him, right? That guy kind of sucks over there, right?

Yeah. I thought he would have a rejuvenation season and it turns out there wasn't much to rejuvenate. I have the 49ers by two and a half over the Panthers. You get this. I went real low. I said one, it's four and a half. Now you have the lead. You have the lead with three left. I'm really intrigued to see what happens to the Niners in that Rams game tomorrow because my instinct would be like, oh, take the Niners. It's a home game for them, blah, blah, blah. But I think that Trent Williams thing is going to be really bad for them.

So I didn't think their line was good to begin with. He was their only good tackle. That game changed when he went out, right? Oh, yeah. I like the Rams tomorrow. So the way I've been picking lately, maybe go against me. I'm going Rams. No, we're turning it around tomorrow, Billy.

I'm going Rams with you. All right. I feel ever, ever since you abandoned me for the extra points crew, I just feel like my, my gambling's never been the same. All these new threads, all these new gambling friends. How dare you?

Barely have time to talk to me in house. To me, look at our hand shot, uh, thread with the house. How many times you responded? I could barely fucking see I was sick I was afraid to look at my phone I didn't know if Lewis was going to keep texting about to replace

another guy to Steve Lewis cost you sleep what a jerk Jesus Lewis 627 text who text anyone at 627 on a Sunday who does that that's like somebody died. Here's the text. Or somebody's in the hospital.

Here's the text. Or somebody broke into your house. It's the alarm company. You have three minutes to get out. Not, can you bench Kamar from Pollard at 627? What the hell? I see a picture of Lewis's face. He's so upset.

He may leave the country. 627 Lewis. What the hell? A picture of Lewis's face. He's so upset. He might leave the country. 6'27", Lewis. It's a person who deals with talent on a weekly basis. I have one poop-fected game, and it is Minnesota versus Chicago. The Bears' offense is legitimately unwatchable. It's just not football. It's like when there's a college football

game on CBS or Fox or ABC, but it's a bad game. LSU's on one channel against Alabama, and then you go to this other game, and it's like some mid-level school gets another mid-level school, and you're like, ah, this is bad. That's the Bears offense.

Who did they beat? They beat 49ers in that terrible rain game. And then they beat the Texans last week. They beat the Texans because Davis Mills threw the pick when they had the ball with a minute left and they're on 30. You know, Fields doesn't have a lot. Like Mooney was his best receiver, right? Did he have a good game?

I don't even know if he, he couldn't have really had a good game. Mooney was good today. Yeah, he had like 90 yards today. He was? Yeah. Everyone wanted to cut him. But anyway, I wanted to defend Justin Fields. And at the same time, he had 11 completions. Like, he usually has seven or eight. So maybe this is...

Maybe you just do throw a party for Justin Fields. He had, you know, went up like 30% completion from what he normally does. 11 for 22. Well, it's a rare combo. I don't really know how much of the blame is him, but they can't really pass block. And he also, his instinct, as soon as anything breaks down is he's just going to run.

Take off. So the other teams now know that. So it seems like they're just sending a lot of guys and playing him to then eventually take off. And then they have guys waiting. And they're just not afraid of... It's crazy that they even play deep safeties against him because the Bears just don't throw the ball deep.

It's pretty rough to watch. Mooney had 94 yards receiving, but then the other go-to guys like Trayvon Wesco only had 23, and Treston Ebner only had eight. Are you making up those names or are those real names? No, these are real names. These are real names in the box score here. How many did Robert Downey Jr. have?

There is an Emir Smith-Marset. He had a target, but not a catch. Did Al Ball didn't have any catches? I have Vikings by eight over the Bears. Do we split this? No, I get it. I had seven and a half at seven. Oh, come on.

That line's too low. This line will be nine by Sunday. I don't. They believe in Chicago. Do they believe in Chicago or do they not believe in Minnesota? That Minnesota team's not as good. Cousins is... It's like the TV show you like with the character

that hasn't worked for a couple seasons but is still on the show and everybody knows the character doesn't totally work. He still puts up his stats. Jefferson had a huge game. I guess he did Jefferson, but I think Jefferson always thinks he's doing better than he is. Yeah. Right? They celebrate a little bit too much, but he think Jefferson always thinks he's doing better than he is. Yeah. Right?

They celebrate a little bit too much, but he had a good game. Sunday night. Their defense is what's weird. Sunday night's a good game. Baltimore at home for Cincinnati. I'm excited for that one. We'll find out once and for all with this Bengals team, I think, on this game, because I still don't know what to make of them. I have the Ravens favored by three and a half over Cincinnati.

Oh, you nailed it. All right. I'm going to warn you here because we're tied, but I swear on my kids, I picked even the ones I like that I picked the last one exactly, but you nailed that at three and a half. Okay. Chiefs home. Wait a minute. No, you're ahead of me. You're up 10-9. So if you tie me, oh, that sucks. All right. I can't win, but I can tie. Chiefs home for the Raiders.

Monday night. Buck and Aikman. I have the Chiefs by six. All right. So we tie for the week. I said seven, and it is seven. Ah, damn it. that's a lot of points

they always kill the Raiders right didn't they have like 28 first quarter points in one of the games last year and Tyreek Hill wasn't even in the game last year yeah I think that's what that is another tie for us I don't have a sister so I don't know what it's like to kiss

my sister. Two, one, and two. Bill Simmons wins. Oh, wait. Before we do Parent Corner, I mean, do you want to talk about the Mets for two minutes? No, I don't want to talk about them for any minutes. I'm so bummed out.

I really am. You know when you joke about, oh, your team's going to blow it? Jimmy and I were talking about this. And you just say that, that maybe if you put it out there, it won't happen. And then it's June 1st, you're up 10 and a half games, and you have all your starters healthy, and you still blow a 10 and a half game lead. Like, I don't even have excuses.

I wish I had excuses to fall back on. Scherzer and DeGrom are healthy. Marte's out. But for God's sakes, hold a 10 and a half game lead. Excuses. I wish I had excuses to fall back on. Scherzer and DeGrom are healthy. Marte's out, but for God's sakes, hold the 10 and a half game lead. Don't play so poorly as they did against the Marlins and Washington and all these other scrub teams. Plus you hate the Braves. I hate them, but you know what? I think I'm going to bet them. I think I'm going to pull a hench.

And what result is going to upset me the most next to the Yankees winning the whole thing, which I don't think will happen. I have to bet the Braves or something. I know it's blasphemous. Didn't, you know, fantasy was talking about this huge Mets fan that he felt like he felt like

they half-assed the trade deadline. It was going to come back to bite him that they should have, should have gone for it. He wanted a left. He just didn't. Right. Yeah. He wanted a lefty. It, I don. Right. Yeah, he wanted a lefty.

I don't know that that... And, Jed, I think he's right. His reasoning and the psychology behind it, that they kind of rested on their laurels a little. I don't know that a lefty would have made a huge difference. He was so good, Diaz, and he was pitching eighth innings, but he barely pitched in September because they either had a big lead, rarely,

or they were losing. So it didn't time out. And now we got this best two or three garbage starting Friday. But you're going to be the number one wild card, right? Yeah. So we'll play either the Phillies or the Padres. There's a game between them. And the number one wild card does have three at home and the best of three.

So that's good. You're fine. You think so? These Braves are as good as they were last year and they won the title. I know Freeman's gone, but Olsen's just about as good. They have like two rookie of the year one and two candidates.

You're going to play them either way. I don't know. You're fine. You just want to make the playoffs. You just don't want to be in that other. You don't want to be in that other, you don't want to be in that winner-takes-all, one-game wildcard thing. That sucks. I'm going to avoid that one. I thought you'd be more bummed. You've got to be honest. I am bummed. I really am.

I would have definitely traded a Cowboys win for a Mets win, although I'm not even sure they could hold on for the three-game series against Washington the way they hit. I just hate when the bats just go stale. You can't put more than two runs together in anything. I'll tell you this. It's been a horrible Red Sox season.

Watching Judge unsuccessfully try to break the American League home run record, by the way. Right. Not even the total home run record. I call it the Yankee home run record because it gets Yankee fans even angrier. Oh, that's great. I like that. Yeah. It's like he's still 12 away from Bonds. So the Bonds home run record, which still exists, there weren't any rules in place.

So even though he cheated, he didn't really technically cheat where we had to wipe the records clean. Never failed a drug test. Well, the record's the record 73 and it's like what are we doing it's like no this is the the non-steroids record it's like oh we're gonna do that so now do we have to litigate every player whether they did or they how do we know the current guys don't do steroids in any league maybe the steroids are just better and less detectable give me a break um but yeah the judge thing fly to have the Marist family at all these games and then every time and he gets up and all these Yankee fans half of whom have probably been to like one game and they got their cameras

ready because they overpaid for their seats and then he'll hit like the 220 yard fly ball and then it's like yeah it's a short fly ball to center. I fucking love it. And it's been the only positive this whole Red Sox season. Being able to break the record is fantastic. Yes, I do. I have him, by the way, you could bet it plus 450 that he didn't break the record

last week. I bet it. So I have four more games. I'll probably lose, but it's been a fun game. But the Marist family, I can't tell if they're great actors or they're just delighted that they can go home, that the hostage situation is over and they can go home soon

if he breaks it. If you and I had this podcast record, let's say we had the record for most podcasts ever and you passed away. Not that there's any way I'm going to outlive you, but you passed away. And so I was there on our behalf and for someone who was about to break our record 20 years from now and i'm supposed i'm supposed to be happy for this person no way see i think it's even worse i think it's like if archie was on we're both dead and archie's going all the games you're like god

before getting closer to the podcast record, and there's Archie sitting over there. He's probably rooting for the guy to break the record, so it could work. And then what happens to the Marist guy? What does he tell his boss? How is this covered in any sort of work? He's like, hey, so Judge, I'm not going to be at work again tomorrow.

Judge couldn't get the home run. The guy's like, dude, your desk is full of papers oh nobody has a desk anymore can we can we get can we get him to call in next week the boss that's a great angle i hadn't thought about it yeah that guy's like what the fuck he told me he's gonna be gone for three days judge had to break the record it's been been 10. Where is he? That's very good booking. I mean, I know you've interviewed Obama, but Roger Maris' son's boss would be a nice fit. That'd be hilarious.

He'd be like, yeah, I had to fire him. I can't look the other employees we have in the eye. Like Roger Jr. just left. He's going to baseball games, sitting eating gourmet hot dogs before these Yankee Blue Jays games. Meanwhile, everybody else is working. It was the most uncomfortable hostage situation

I've seen in a while. I love it. It's so good. I hope he doesn't break it. This is where the sports... We're not supposed to be this spiteful with sports, but there's certain teams where it's like, I just hate the Yankees.

I just always want their fans to be unhappy about whatever. They feel the same about Red Sox fans. We're all fine. We made an agreement. Sure. I don't want Judge to get 62. I just don't. If that makes me a bad person, so be it.

No, you don't want to see Yankee fans happy. That's not the role of that. Sal and right field with his mustache. Not you, Sal, but just generic Yankee fan. Mario holding the judge. Oh, he did it. Aaron, 62.

Just throw at his feet. No, no, no. Yeah, I would walk him. Throw softly at his legs. No, no, no. Yeah, I would walk him. Yeah, just throw softly at his legs. Who's their last series against? They should just intentionally walk him every at bat. The Rangers. Yeah.

Four against the Rangers. One of them's a doubleheader. One day's a doubleheader. Couldn't we do a GoFundMe where it's like, we'll donate to the Rangers charity of choice if you intentionally walk Judge every time? I like that. What number do you need to get to?

10 million? The Red Sox fans are in for 10 million. I'll tell you right now. Goes to the Jimmy Fund. Everybody's happy. Yeah, you know they weren't going to allow him to break the record, right? Look, we have enough bad highlights for this year. Don't be the guy that gives it up. Alright, let's do

Parent Corner. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by CarMax. CarMax makes shopping for a car easy for everyone with thousands of CarMax certified cars to choose from. There's a perfect match for your budget and life. Learn more at CarMax.com. CarMax, car buying reimagined. What do you got for Parent Corner? All right, so as you pointed out, I had a game at 4.30, a kid's little league game. My son, he's nine years old.

And so that's at the end of the late afternoon games, right? So the only one really in question was your game. The Raiders were, by the time I got there, the Raiders were clocking it against Denver. They won and covered. And I had big money on your Packers to, I'm sorry, the Packers to beat your Patriots just on the money line, right? Even though I had the Pats plus a point. So anyway, I'm watching that the Packers to beat your Patriots just on the money line, right? Even though I had the Pats plus a point.

So anyway, I'm watching that and the Mets had started and I had a friend there, my producer, Mikey Meatballs was there and we're watching the two games on the phone and my kid is catching in the first inning. And like the first at bat, first of all, I don't know, like nine year old, you could lead now. And so everything, it's just a carousel. Everybody's stealing bases all the time. So he's throwing down the second.

The kid's already there before he cocks his arm back to throw. It's so stupid. And same to third and everything. But he's decent. Once in a while, he can throw a guy out at third. He takes catching seriously. A ball bounces, hits him like in the ankle. Right?

I don't know how the shin guard doesn't cover him. So he goes down for 10 seconds and gets up. I'm like, come on, you're all right, Harrison. You're all right. And then the next one, there's a foul off his arm. And he's laid out. And my wife and I. And this, I think, is like, I don't know if you could do this with two kids.

Like, oh, you have an older one. You're not as worried or concerned or freaked out when the second one gets hurt, right? Because you've been through it with the older one. When you have three, and my wife and I are considerably older than these other parents, these other nine-year-old parents of nine-year-olds. I'm like 51. She's 46. These others are like skinny blonde 33

year old mothers here. It's so weird. And we're like, oh, just get up. We're actually yelling this from the stands as I'm watching like Rogers try to convert a third down. I'm like, Harrison, just get up already. And the other parents are looking at us like, what the hell's wrong with you? There really could be something.

He hasn't really moved. I'm like, oh, he's fine. And then like eventually oh, he's fine. And then eventually he gets up and walks off. And everyone gives him the applause. I'm like, I told you he was fine. And they're all looking at me like, wow, what a monster you are. You and your monster wife. What the hell are you doing? I'm like, trust me, this is what happens.

Go have two more kids. You'll see. So that's my parent corner. And he's fine. So you have more kids. You'll see, you know? So that's my parent corner and he's fine. So you have more parent experience than the other parents. Yeah. I don't want to make it like it's an, I told you so thing, but I do have to explain why my, my, my awful behavior.

My parent corner. My son, his school had homecoming last night. And they had the football game. And it's this whole event. They have all these different sports. There's like a Ferris wheel and all these food stations. And it's like 4,000 people at the game. It's just a ton of people.

And, of course, we stink in the first half. And it's like the classic too many people there. You can tell the team a little tight. Second half, down nine, five minutes left. Come down, get the, and I'm explaining football to my wife, like everyone, she's never watched football, doesn't care. So the other team misses the PAT. It's 2011 instead of 2111.

There's like six minutes left. And I'm saying to my wife, like, this is good for us, the Miss PAT. And she's like, why is it good for us? I'm like, all I do is watch football on Sundays every week for the last however many years. And the Miss PAT, it's like just a bad omen for them. Just trust me. We come down, we score. Cut it to two.

Onside kick. Ben's out there on the kickoff onside kick first time we didn't get it second time we don't get it either they have the ball now midfield it's like three minutes left

we have all three timeouts classic scenario right it's like so now all the all the NFL DNA is coming in where it's like is this going to be

where they just run it into the line twice and then third down play action and it's like we have to know this is what they're going to do it's like, is this going to be where they just run it into the line twice and then third down play action. And it's like, we have to know this is what they're going to do. It's what they do. They run into the line,

run into the line. Now it's third and 10. And we have this kid, Santa Hernandez, Santa Hernandez, who's fucking awesome. Who, um,

he tore his ACL last year. And he was like one of the best players in the team. He's a captain. So he missed almost all the, all last year. It's a wide receiver of the best players on the team. He's a captain. So he missed almost all last year. He's a wide receiver, defensive end. Started to come back. Really started to play the whole game like a week ago. Third down.

Comes off the side like Lawrence Taylor. Strip sack. We get the ball. Come down. 25-yard field goal to win. It was like the first time they've won in the last 20 years on a field goal at the end of the game.

Mass chaos. Our team's 4-2. Let's fucking go, Sal. This is great. High school football. You told me it was going to be great. It's 100 times better. It is so much fun.

I thought it was a bad ending. No, it was a great ending. Oh, good. Being a football parent, it's the fucking best. Right? I don't enjoy it. Your wife's into it too, even if she can't figure the numbers out, right? It's very exciting even for women who don't know

or spouses. I don't want to just say women, right? Well, she doesn't know anything and it's gotten to the point after six games where there was one flag and she's like, what was that? False start? And then the guy was like, where there was one flag and she's like what was that false start and then the guy was like false start she's like I knew it was a false start I'm like this is great you're starting to learn the football

but it's so exciting but it's so funny how all the same things that we watch every week on NFL Sundays are also recaptured in these high school football games yeah it's in our family now like the other team should have play action on second down because we were selling out.

We had 10 guys up. Just a little play action rollout and probably the game's over. But they got conservative. Well, there's no... I mean, that shouldn't be a surprise to us that the pro and the pro ranks,

the coaches are, you know, anemic and that high school would be any different, right? Not these going to be these masterminds. Yeah, you're going to be more conservative in high school because you've got 17, 16-year-old players. But anyway. The thing that bums me out most of what you said is

Louis K tried to get Sante Hernandez in his lineup Friday night. He asked for him at 627 when he found out Camaro wasn't playing. This kid, Santi Hernandez, I'm telling you, this kid's really good. Our team's good, though. I think we have a chance, this team. Anyway. We're 5-1. We're going to meet in the playoffs, Simmons.

We're going to meet in the playoffs. So your team's 5-1? 5-1 now, yeah. What's your big game? Do you have the rank? We're ranked like 80. We're the Mustangs. I think we're 90th in the...

You know, there's like 1,020 California schools, and we're like 93rd or something. Oh, wow. That's good. We're in the hundreds somewhere. I don't know what the thing is. Our big game is in two weeks. So we'll see.

The other best team in the league. Who do you play next week we play Palace Verde so it's going to be us or them to win the

division or whatever they call it at this point yeah Friday Night Affair there we go that's it for Parent Corner today's Parent Corner is brought to you by

CarMax take advantage of the nationwide inventory of CarMax start your shopping online browse and compare their full inventory

and choose a vehicle from any store across the country. Fees and restrictions may apply. Learn more at CarMax.com. CarMax, car buying reimagined. All right, Sal, we made it. Anything to plug? Well, first of all, I want to thank Ryan Gisriel, Director of Basketball Operations for the Nets.

I'm all in on basketball again, Simmons, because I was in Brooklyn. I'll make this real quick. I wanted to go to Locali's. It's one of the great pizza places I've heard of in Brooklyn. Melissa and I, we go, we get there. They're like, I'm sorry, the restaurant is reserved by the Nets today. And I look in and it's KD and it's Ben Simmons and Kyrie at a table. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, it gets better. And I'm like, ah, man, that sucks. So I immediately go to my app or whatever. And I'm looking at what's walking distance. That's good pizza. And this guy, Ryan, comes up to me, recognizes me from our podcast as he listens every week. He's like, please sit with us. Not necessarily with Durant and them, but the other directors of basketball operations. I had one of the best slices of pizza I ever had. We sat there, we ate meatballs.

The owner has the same last name as me. So we talked for about a half hour. As we're talking, the Nets file out, Beyonce and her bodyguard come in. And it was like, I got the best pizza experience anyone could ever get. And it was Hollywood, but it was in Brooklyn. And I didn't lift my head once to look at these people, but Beyonce and the Nets at LaCalle's Pizza. Thank you, Ryan Gisrael.

So now you have to bet the Nets over. I guess I do. I guess I do. So, you know, there's whatever you hear, dissension in the ranks, not true. They're eating pizza together. Well, if you come up, if anybody suggests any betting exorcism stuff for me before week five, let me know. If there's any good tricks. Yeah, we should definitely. What did I say, though? I'll bet every game?

All right. Bet every game. Maybe I'll wear my T-shirts inside out. I don't know. We'll get that going. What do you got to put? Extra points, podcast, network, part of Omaha Audio. All your sports gambling needs taken care of.

Against the lots tomorrow. we'll hit first touchdown. We've hit the first touchdown two night games in a row. Props, sides, totals. We'll do it all. So there you go. All right. Sal, good job by you. Good job by you, buddy.

All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Kyle Creighton, Steve Cerruti, and Dylan Berkey. As always, I will be back on this feed on Tuesday. Special basketball episode. Any guesses? It's a good guest. Any guesses? Any guesses?

Basketball. Tuesday. Maybe a little football at the end. Maybe a little something else at the end too, but basketball Tuesday. I'll see you then.