The Bill Simmons Podcast - Giannis for MVP (Again), Worst NBA Teams, Load Management Porn, Bama-LSU, and Shorting Cousins With Joe House and Mallory Rubin | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: November 8, 2019

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Joe House to have the NBA MVP conversation and discuss Dwight Howard's solid play for the Lakers, worst teams in the league, and more (2:45) before giving out NFL Million Dollar Picks (38:10). Then Mallory Rubin joins the group for Mallory’s Most Intriguing, in which she shares her top five story lines of the week, including the upcoming LSU-Alabama game, Chargers relocation rumors, Seahawks-49ers, and more (57:20)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Coming up, Joe House is here. He's in studio. And the Chinese. Do some bots. Rate my pod. I'm on it. Coming up, Joe House is here. He's in studio and we're going to talk about a lot of basketball. We're going to do million dollar picks. We're licking our wounds

from a devastating loss last week. And then, Mally Rubin, the mother of dragons is joining us. We're going to do a little three man slash woman pod. Ooh.

She's going to do Mallory's most intriguing. Oh my. And maybe we'll talk about food too. That's all coming up. First, our friends from Pearl Jam. All right.

Fresh from the junior heavyweight city of champs. How dare you? Joe House. What is this kind of slander? It's the World Series. It's not the... You've taken out all the champs that don't totally matter anymore. The city series or the regional series.

It's the World Series. It's the best baseball team on planet Earth. Right now. The NFL and the NBA are the most two popular sports in America. DC hasn't won a title in either sport, but that's fine because you've nailed out all the junior heavyweights. What do you mean by hasn't won a title? Baseball.

We have three Super Bowls since I've been alive. You weren't even out of college yet by the time those were over. I was alive, though, and I was alive for the Washington Bullets taking down Delario O'Brien in 1978. I was alive for all those things. Can alive for the Washington Bullets taking down Hilario O'Brien in 1978. I was alive for all those things. Can we go through all the junior heavyweight titles? I have all four belts during my lifetime now.

World Series, Stanley Cup, WNBA. MLS, you didn't win. MLS to DC United. Lacrosse? Bon voyage, Wayne Rooney. Lacrosse? Did you guys win team tennis? I don't know yes you did you did win the team tennis i think we really did i think we had one the williams yeah is there a softball league as dc take it out that way keep your eyes open kickball for sure

well good luck i hope you get to win the other two titles at some point. We're going to start with an MVP conversation because I went and saw Giannis taping this on a Thursday afternoon. You and I are actually going to go see Blazers Clippers tonight. And if for some reason that game is incredible, we'll tape a little top for this. But I doubt it's going to be incredible. The Portland's not playing that well.

I saw Giannis last night. We talked about this before the season. Laid out the case for back-to-back MVPs. Only 12 players in history have done it. If he gets a little better, why isn't this the obvious bet?

The odds have never shifted his way, and they're still not totally shifting his way. Plus 225. I'll give you his stats. Let's hear them. We're 16 days in the season he's averaging a 29 and 14

with 7.5 assists 59% shooting he's taken 11 free throws a game his PR is 35.5 which is obviously not sustainable

but insane 2.3 blocks a game he's averaging 3.8 threes a game this year he made 4 in the game I went to yesterday.

And when he made the four, the third and fourth ones, there was a helplessness in the crowd that I have not felt in a while. Because when you watch him, he's so unfair. He's just unfair. He basically can get to the rim whenever he wants. And it's like, well, thank God

he can't shoot threes. And now he's kind of okay with the threes. My point is, I think he's going to win the MVP again. I don't feel like this is a 17 day overreaction. The road goes through him. If they win between 55 and 62 games, whatever, I don't see anyone taking it. What are your thoughts? So the two most impressive stats, three most impressive stats to me at this juncture in the season that feel like they're sustainable and it really bolster the case, the assists. Over seven assists a game, that's MVP level distribution for his position and for, you know, he gets touches on every possession, but like dishing with that kind of frequency

that's translating into them having offensive success, that's humongous. The three-point shooting, if he tries for a game and he shoots even 30%. He's 27%. He needs to get to 31, 32. But that's a huge win if he can get that. Absolutely.

And then the blocks. I mean, the blocks are kind of always there, but if he makes that commitment and he's averaging two and a half blocks a game, that's changing the game on both ends of the floor. And that's something that everybody, and you just said the mark for wins is between 55 and 62. This is another conversation for a different podcast.

I don't think we're going to see teams anymore get much more than like 64 to 66 wins like i can't imagine the scenario under which nba teams are going to have wins that go greatly north of like 64 wins because of all of the load factor stuff because of peter north load management yes oh can we can we trademark that's officially call it. Have you been calling it that? I actually looked to see if there had ever been a porn movie named Load Management and there was not. But then as I was looking it up, I was afraid I was

going to get a virus. I don't believe you. No, there definitely wasn't. No load management. Giannis. Let's change that. Last three years, 27 points a game, 28 points a game, 29 points a game. So he's still improving. Rebounds, 10, 12.5, 14 this year.

Assists, 5, 6, 7.5. Yeah. MVP is about narrative. He's still getting better. That's right. And this was what we said before the year. I watched him last year. I thought he was the MVP.

I thought he was the best player of the regular season. But I also felt like there was room for him to get better. And he's still getting better. And from an eye test standpoint, I try to see him at least once a year. I would encourage everybody out there, if you love basketball, just in general, you should go to see the best guys or try to. I know it's expensive to get tickets sometimes, but the eye test is unbelievable. The ground that he carries, just the shape of his body. He's really like, like we were texting with a friend of ours last night, like, who's this

comp? And there just is no comp. It's like, I like to argue for Wilt because I feel like, you know, Wilt was the first true real unicorn. He was so far ahead of his time. His physical stature was so dissimilar to everybody else that he played with. And I think about Wilt and what he might have been capable of in this modern era if he grew up like in the last 20 years or whatever. With that body, with all that athleticism, that's the best I can kind

of come up with. But there really isn't any comparison because you're doing this cross era thing where it's not really possible. That's a good comparison though, from this, from a physical respect, because when I see the old Wilt clips, especially younger Wilt, his legs are up where his chest should be. Like he had the longest legs, his legs were like for an eight foot person. And, and he was just so athletic and so strange looking to watch where you're

like, man, that guy, but in his arms and it just, he could reach everything. And that's how I felt with Giannis last night. Just incredibly long arms. He's got these huge hands.

He shoots, shoots threes. They're coming out of his palm. You know, like they're not even rolling with his finger. He's kind of like flinging it because his hand's so big. It's like he's throwing an orange or something. He may figure it out, but think about, um, one of our sort of old school eye test kind of, uh, judgments that we've made over the years when we've been looking at guys on the phone, it's, you know, 1997 and we're saying, Oh, what do you think about? And we're talking about big guys and how they move up and down the floor yeah and how we

feel about their their like you know prospects out on into the future can these guys stay healthy does he how's he move on the court it's like the gazelle test i remember robinson was like this right right exactly young shack you could just tell certain guys just look like they belong in a basketball they know how they can move just look like they belong in a basketball court. They can move. They're very comfortable moving on the basketball court. And they can go from zero to 20 in a split second. And that's the thing with Giannis is there's a loose ball or deflection, and he can go from a standing, just kind of looking what's going on,

to he's going full speed and he's going, I don't know, seven yards astride or however. It's crazy. It's crazy to watch him. We have a podcast coming next week. I don't want to spoil it, but there's a conversation with me and Jay Adande. This is for the Book of Basketball 2.0 podcast about the three people I've seen in my life who could just get to the rim whenever they wanted. One of them I never got to see was Wilt, but I think just from the clips, it seemed like that. The second was Shaq. And the third was LeBron. Where LeBron hit this point this decade where it was like, if he had a head of steam, he's getting in the basket.

He's getting to the rim. He's going to get a layup or a dunk or you're fouling him. I felt that way with Giannis last night. Giannis was in third gear for most of the game, which is not an insult. He can play at a pace where his third gear is better than everybody else's fifth gear. But then he has these two more gears he can go to where it's like, all right, this game's getting tight. I'm just going to get to the rim. And if you try to stay in my way and sag tight. I'm just going to get to the rim. And if you,

and if you try to stay in my way and sag down, I'm going to hit open shooters and you're not stopping this. So this is great because this is the perfect segue from the last time we saw him play really competitive basketball. The Toronto Raptors elected a type of defense. They funneled his ass into the lane and dared him to beat them with exactly what you're describing, which is either some kind of intermediate floater kind of shot, which he doesn't seem to have at this stage.

Doesn't seem like he totally has it. And or to distribute the ball, make the correct decision in real time, find the open guy. And Toronto took over that series by playing that way. And this is the evolutionary moment. We'll see what lessons learned from last year, him and, and, and coach Bud together can get, can collaborate and see whether or not we will be able to watch this in real time during

the regular season, getting to the whole, you know know and with some a little bit of ole defense that's kind of one thing but they well but with the clippers though like harrell's harrell's good like sizable yeah he's the type of guy who can at least form a one-man wall and make it difficult for yannis and yannis was just doing whatever i think i thought corver was washed up and i have no idea if he can get through in eight months because Cause he's, you know, he, I'm sure he looks fine now. He's had rested summer. He's, he can stay healthy and he has one more year in him. That's going to be really important for them because I think they really,

really, really miss Brogdon. And that's one of those things where Brogdon is averaging a 22, five and 10 right now for Indiana. And he's like their crunch time guy. They're running the whole offense. The Milwaukee fans are really upset that they didn't just spend the luxury tax and keep them. There's been some word that they were worried. They thought he was an injury risk. He had some feet stuff in college. That was the rumor. He hasn't been a hundred percent healthy healthy for them even the last couple years and they just decided it was too risky, it might have cost them the title.

Just that move. It's too early to say because it might prove out to be too risky. But just what the jump that he made this year, watching that and thinking about that with Giannis. Yeah, but the risk is, and if this is the way they were assessing it, it hasn't been disproved.

Can he do it over 80 games? But man, watching them last night, George Hill looks good. Yeah, a little juvenation out of George Hill. And mentally, you feel like he's 40, but the guy's like 30. He actually should still look good. Bledsoe is the guy I worry about. They got both Lopez's. They don't play him at the same time. I love

it. It's a terrific acquisition. The Chris Middleton thing, like he had another one. This seems to happen a lot with him where you're at a game and you forget he's out there for a quarter. He is who he is. He is who he is. Yeah, it's fine. I could be successful with him in

playing that role. That's the one spot I would consider upgrading if I were them. Which? Middleton. No, the spot they need to upgrade is Bledsoe. They can't trust Bledsoe for the entire season. But they're stuck with that. No, there's going to be some veteran point guard who can control the ball properly

in the... It's going to come. We haven't got there yet. He was... Bledsoe was good last year. It's going to be something like Goran Dragic or something like that. Some guy like that. I don't know if that's better, though. Then Bledsoe was good last night. It's going to be something like Goran Dragic or something like some guy like that. I don't know if that's better though. Than Bledsoe in the fourth quarter? Who do you want running the show? Bledsoe's still a really good athlete.

Like he's still physical as hell. He still takes shots that he shouldn't take when the game matters. You know I'm not a giant Bledsoe fan. But I don't know. I think the upgrade potential would be if they made the Chris Paul move, which would be. I mean, that's incredible. Sure, that would be an upgrade. You're throwing some contracts in.

I'm not positive about OKC. You mean Chris Paul for Middleton? No, it's like Bledsoe, Ilias Sobo. They can get there with the contract. It takes a lot to get there. $40 million is a lot. No, it's like $34 this year. Oh, OK.

That's reasonable. It's a little more doable. That's just Bradley Beal money Oh, okay. That's reasonable. It's a little more doable. That's just Bradley Beal money. That's not John Wall money. It's just Bradley Beal money. By the way, those guys are back. Which guys? There's been a lot of stories about how Bradley Beal and John Wall love each other now.

What's not to love? They're buddies. Would you like to collect $35, $40 million and just go shoot, do whatever? I saw a stat on the Twitter about Beal starting off the season slowly. His shooting percentages are down. He's like, I don't care about shooting percentages. I agree with him. What does he care?

Shoot. Shoot or shoot. They're not going to win any games. I actually like watching them this year. I've been watching them because Isaiah's had a little mini comeback for them. They're trying hard. They stink. They can't stop anybody and they can't score. They go on scoring droughts. The Pacers beat the mini comeback for them. They're trying hard. Yeah, they stink. I mean, they can't stop anybody

and they can't score. They go on scoring droughts. The Pacers beat the pants off of them. They just, you know, way too much. I watched some of that game. Way too much Bongo. Way too much Wagner. Yeah, I don't know about Bongo.

Bertans. I like Bertans. He's fine. MVP, other odds. AD is 6-1. Harden's plus 450. Nobody's ever voted for Harden again. It doesn't feel like it.

Watching them last night, there's a malaise slash lethargy with that team. Even though they're winning by 20, it just seems like nobody's having fun. Well, I want to ask this. How long do you think a Miami hangover lasts these days? Hold on. We're going to talk about that in a little bit. Jokic, 14-1. Embiid, 16-1. that In a little bit Okay Jokic 14-1 Embiid 16-1

LeBron Oh LeBron and Kawhi Are both 8-1 Wait Did you say Embiid 16-1 Yeah

Oh We have to hit pause I got to call I got to call somebody It's also 16 I have a call to make Probably the number of games He's going to miss this year

Well I mean This is the thing So what That makes him Parry passu with his peers. How about our boy Luka at 25 to 1? Nah, I mean, he's fine. I like Luka.

Don't think that I don't like Luka. Don't misunderstand. He's going to average like a 29, 9, and 9 this year. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. He is a wonderful addition. The dumbass Atlanta fans still are like, well, we got Trey Young. It's like you lost out on a two to three time MVP.

You did not win the trade. Enjoy Trey Young. It's like, you lost out on a two to three time MVP. You did not win the trade. Enjoy Trey Young. He's great. Really fun. He's fun. Fun guy to have on your team. You didn't get an MVP out of it. Yeah, Luka's... It's a tough one. Luka's a generational player. That's true. Luka and Giannis will be the two best guys in the league in like three years.

I don't have a rebuttal. Siakam is 50 to 1. He could be 5,000 to 1. I'm just pointing it out. Okay. 50 to 1. Why aren't you more excited about Luka? That offends me.

They have a little bit of ways to go yet. I mean, they're really asking a lot out of the zinger. And so far, we've seen kind of the tentative zinger. You know? Like, his fate is not in his own hands. That's all. That's the reason for my tempered enthusiasm for him as an MVP candidate. MVP of the league.

You can't win 43 games. No, he'd have to get to 50. So they're not going to get to 50. Not with this version of Zinger. That's all. These are all fair points. I think Giannis plus 225, AD if he could play all six months is in play because that Lakers team,

I mean, no surprise, but guess what? When him and LeBron are both healthy and playing, it's really good. And motivated. And motivated. That's been the most impressive thing to me. Can we talk about Dwight really quick

and then we'll take a break? The Laker fans are getting a little frisky about Dwight. Russillo and I said before the year we were laughing. I think you were on that pod where we were like, nothing's going to be funnier than the Lakers fans talking themselves into Dwight. And Dwight's been good these first two weeks for him. The stats have been good. Eye test looks okay.

It still looks a little stiff, but athletically, athletically better than we expected. I am, I am not abandoning. Dwight Howard is going to disappoint this entire fan base island. You're not going to engage in a little premature congratulation. No, you're not ready. I'm not going to do that.

Premature congratulation at this stage with, with the D Howard, the Dwight. I'm going to, um, take into account the last four years, if that's okay. Four years feels like 40. Let's be honest. I'm also going to take into account. What was the last relevant Dwight Howard moment?

So 2015 playoffs. Okay. They almost made the finals. That's four years. So that was four and a half years ago. That's right. I think physically, I don't trust it. He has a way of just wearing on teammates.

That's really historic for his generation. Every generation has two or three guys that as soon as they leave, the stories just start coming out that teammates couldn't wait for him to go. Now, in that respect, it does seem like out of all the possibilities in terms of teams and the chemistry and who's the alpha and the beta and whatever C is. I don't think he really has a lot of leash with this team. Like LeBron and AD are not going to tolerate too much nonsense. It is a perfect situation for somebody with his skill set that he used to have and might still have flashes of because he's playing on the baseline, but he's smart enough to read when he

should roll to the basket. And LeBron is finding him for these little sneaky dunks. I just feel like it's going to be hilarious when he, when the Laker fans like, oh man, I can't believe we fell for that. Well, honestly, I think he is going to play well. I absolutely agree with your assessment that he's in the very best possible situation. It's a mature team. It's a team that knows how to play. Wait a second. It sounds like you're starting to think he's going to be good for them. No, here's what's going to happen. He's going to get hurt. I mean, this is what happens with Dwight Howard. I was bullish on him. We sat in Las Vegas, Nevada in the summer of 2018 at Caesars, and the Wiz had just acquired him. And I was looking at the 2018-2019 season

and asking smart basketball people around us. We were with Daryl Morey. We were with H-Bob. We were like, why can't this wizards team work uh and then dwight played nine games for him and uh my man john wall got hurt and it was all over but like on the face of it yeah i mean who could have saw that coming but the reason that howard didn't work is because he got hurt he had some kind of you know glute slash lower back slash leg injury thing that kept him from playing 73 games. It sounds like you're pro-Dwight.

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There you go. All right, we're back. Want to hit a couple of quick NBA things. It's early, but I do think we can start getting a feel for who the worst teams in the league are. Sure. And right now, this would be my list. The fourth worst team is the Memphis Grizzlies, who I like. They're two and five right now as we're taping this.

I do like them. I think they have players I like. John Morant, Triple J. I'm in. When they're on league pass and if it's a fourth quarter, I'll be like, all right, I'm going to step in with these guys. The foundation's there, but that doesn't mean that they're going to, you know, they're in a brutal conference. And I think they will be a bottom 14.

Well, they kicked Minnesota's ass last night. I mean, we don't have to go crown Minnesota quite yet. Minnesota did have Carl Anthony Towns. I'll remind you, he played last night. And Memphis beat their ass. They scored 36 points in the fourth quarter. You love taking town shots. Well, I just, you know, play defense in the fourth quarter. It's a winnable

game against one of the four worst teams in the league. Bill Simmons said so. Third worst team. Not right now, but they will be, is Cleveland. They're 2-5. I like the way the Celtics played them the other night. And they really came at them. And Love and Thompson were good in that game. They're going to trade Love. love that makes sense this is all leading toward them that's what they should do swapping love to a team that a wants them and b is panicking a little bit uh like the

portland brothers but uh i think the one thing that's jumped out with me with them is they seem well coached which makes sense because they went and got a real coach. Yeah. But they just have a nice vibe to them. But as soon as they trade love, that falls apart. Second worst team is Golden State. Yep. They're two and six. They have the worst roster in the league. They just do.

Yeah. There's no arguing this point. I don't, you know, I'm not. The infrastructure will do some stuff, but I just, when I was trying to make the list of the, of the worst four, I was stunned how easily golden state slotted into the two spot. They're going to get a top five pick.

Now everybody's saying this is a really weird draft. People, a couple of our ringer people have compared it to the 2013 draft, which I actually did, but that was the, Oh, that's right. Yeah.

Oh, that was, that turned out to have really good players, but they went, McCollum went, I think, 10th. Giannis went 13th, et cetera, et cetera. And I think the Knicks are the worst team in the league. Yeah. Can't argue it. What's interesting is from a talent standpoint, they aren't.

They should be better than like Charlotte, for instance. It's just a horrendously put-together team. We said this during the summer. Do you need Bobby Portis and Marcus Morris and Taj Gibson and Julius Randle? Who does this?

It's really weird. There's no roadmap to this ever making sense, ever. Unless the plan is to sabotage the season, in which case, congratulations, they've self-sabotaged once again. But if you're going to

sabotage the season, don't sign anybody and just keep your cap space. But none of those guys, only Randall has any duration to his deal, right? Yeah, but you're bringing in a bunch of people

that you're paying who two of those people are going to be unhappy at all times because you can't play all of them. I feel like it was not, I mean,is smith jr thing is a whole another other world they should trade in this summer of discussion um i don't think it was like it's a terrible idea experiment wise to bring in a few guys that have been in the league with rj barrett

just to see what rj barrett's gonna show well here's the thing he's the only guy that matters on this whole team that's right i like frankie smokes and i think kevin knox i don't would definitely not give up on him rj is good we agree with this we thought this last spring yeah i never gave up hope i couldn't believe people were bummed out when when like the knicks fans were like oh man we end up with rj barrett's like yeah that's great. That's a big win for you. You should be happy. Summer League, he wasn't good in two games. We were like, oh man, this sucks.

R.J. Barrett's good. R.J. Barrett will have a long career. I'm not positive he's an all-NBA guy, but he's definitely a really good score playmaker. Building block guy. Yeah. We're in agreement on this. I was really impressed. I watched the whole Celtics-Knicks game, and he didn't even play that well in that game but his feel is it's very confident like he'll take it in the basket and he's not like frantic rookie guy

he's like kind of he's bouncing off people he's moving yeah i like it the knock that that uh he had him because we watched it was you know the was the inability to be effective at the end of games with games on the line for Duke. But I think ultimately that's kind of like a thing about Duke and about college basketball. Yeah, and just the rhythm of college. He's like a professional player waiting to bust out is what I think we've seen now. And no shooters. Yeah, college is like nobody can get in a rhythm of a college game. player waiting to bust out is what that I think we've seen now. And no shooters games. Yeah. College is like,

nobody can get in a rhythm of college game. There's a timeout every two and a half minutes. Yeah. Plus the foul call thing is a debacle. I have never been less into a college basketball season. This is my number one. Is this a hot all time? I could care less.

The Celtics don't have, they're not going to get the Memphis pick this year. There's not like signature dudes to watch yet. I just don't care. Okay. And these guys, they're in and out of your lives in four months. It is.

It's like, hey, here's somebody. Oh, now he's gone. He's going to the NBA. It is. It's November. So there's still. Sorry, Kyle. Earmuffs, Kyle.

A couple more Overreactions 17 day Overreactions Devin Booker Uh huh He's a member Of the 50-50-90

Club right now I mean it's only Two weeks in But he was awesome The Suns are 5-2 They had a nice win Over Philly Which I watched

No one beat The uh The Aaron Baines And Ricky Rubio Two professional dudes Now they The Aaron Baines and Ricky Rubio, two professional dudes. Now, they're playing Baines 35 minutes a game, which is not sustainable. He's an 18-minute-a-game guy. But they actually have guys who know

where to go and what to do, and it's help Booker. What's funny, though, is the Suns fans seem to think that I'm not a Booker guy. When I had the whole thing this summer where I was mad that he wasn't on the world championship. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I'm mad that he's not on Team USA

because I think he's really good and we need him. How does that go to me not being a Devin Booker guy? It's like, I'm really upset he's not on our team. He'd be our best player. Am I a dick for thinking that? I think people, I can't, I can't get in the head of,

of the, the Twitterati. Well, the Twitterati, but I, but I think it was, you know, uh, he made a decision like a lot of guys did about his own health and his own,

you know, what was going to put him in the best position to be successful this NBA season. And then, you know, Tatum did play for the Team USA and got hurt. And you expressed some regret about him being in that position. No, I did not. We were really worried about his injury.

You expressed a lot of concern about the injury. I was just worried. I thought he broke his ankle. I understand. That's right. I'm still glad he played. It really helped him. It would have ruined the season.

It would have ruined the Celtics season. I'm just telling you, Tatum and Jalen and Marcus Smart and Kemba all being on that team, even though they got their asses kicked, was great for the Celtics. All of those guys came in at a whole other level. And I don't think it would have hurt Booker. But the funny thing is, so that's my opinion. I have an opinion on this. And then the great thing about the internet is then people have opinions on your opinion.

Sure. That's how it works. I am now countering with an opinion on their opinion of my opinion. My brain is not smart enough to understand what's going on here. I really like Devin Booker. I wish he had been on Team USA. It didn't work out. Now the Suns are 5-2.

This is the best point guard he's played with in his entire life. Yeah. Well, he's another guy. Who knows how long he's going to stay healthy? Who? Rubio? Yeah. Rubio's beard I've got a lot of issues with.

I just really like that. Did you see his beard? I haven't seen him. All of his hair. He always does weird things. He's got the thickest beard I think anybody's had. It's disarming. I don't totally understand it. He's does weird things. No, he's got like the thickest beard I think anybody's had. It's really, it's disarming. Good for him.

I don't totally understand it. He looks like one of the dudes in Alive. Remember that movie? Yeah. They rugby plane crashes and they have to eat each other? Yeah. He looks like he's been in day 35 on the Alive plane. I don't get it.

By the way, he's the one that's getting eaten, if there's any doubt. Ricky Rubio. Yeah. He would be your first, if the sun's playing, he would be the first guy. Yeah, easy. That's a tough one. Not a big dude. The worst thing, if you were on their live plane, you would have been hungry within two days.

I mean, this is the thing. I gotta eat. Yeah, you would have been like, hey. Ricky, come here. We're gonna go get some water. I know Bob just died, but. Come on, Ricky, we're. We're going to go get some water. I know Bob just died, but... Come on, Ricky. We're getting some water.

I know Bob just died, but who's hungry? Should we carve him up? If we cook him now. Make a stew? We could, like, cure it. We can hang the strips. Oh, that's terrible. I don't want to talk this way.

Another 17 day overreaction. Well, listen, the aggregators can now say, Simmons and friend joke about eating Ricky Rubio on BS podcast. House says- I have to shave him first. House says he would be first choice. Another overreaction that I actually don't think is an overreaction. I think we have five legitimately good East teams.

Five? Yeah. Okay. Milwaukee. Yeah. Philly. Yes. Those are the two OGs.

I think the Celtics are good. Okay. Go ahead. I just think they're good. I think that the slashing kick i think they have a lot of offense and hayward's back he's utah hayward again i'm telling you he's back all right you loved gordon hayward three years ago i did he's back then he suffered a catastrophic injury and it took him two years and now he's back okay he's doing gordon hayward stuff again. I would throw in Toronto. Yeah.

Out of respect. Defending champions. I just think they're good. They are good. They're smart. They play smart. They lost Kawhi, but Siakam made a leap. And Van Vliet is better this year than he was last year.

And they have OGs in there now. They just... And Lowry's still doing Lowry things. A little swagger. They're smart. They're smart. Smart basketball team. Continuity, House. A little swagger. They're smart. They're smart. Smart basketball team. Continuity, House.

I agree with this. Continuity matters. These guys have been together for a few years now, and I think it's an advantage. And then I'm a Miami guy. Yeah, okay. I know they got their ass kicked the other night, but I just think that's a team that's going to be in the high 40s and has a trade to make. Okay, that's fine. If those are the qualifications for good, for fitting in the good category, then I'm not going to argue with it.

I just like their players. They're not that good, but they're fine. I like their players. Me too. They're going to be fun to watch. We have money in them. We do. I don't want to talk about it.

We actually did well in our future bets. We haven't done anything. They only played eight games. Nothing's happened. Let's not talk about it. But I'm used to doing future bets with you where eight games

into the season, I'm already like discounting the money. We've already lost. The Celtics 67 wins. We, I do feel pretty good that we're going to win

the Golden State under. That one, I feel like it's okay to talk about. Under 47 and a half. No, it was 48 and a half. Well, I didn't, I got in late.

I got in at 47 and a half. Jesus. But still, that under is going to, it was 48. Well, I didn't, I got in late. I got into 47 and a half, but still that under is going to be a good one. Well, we also have gold state and Indiana to miss the playoffs. 32. That one. I'm not talking about because Indiana is good enough to make the playoffs in the East.

They're just, they're absolutely unequivocally good enough to make the playoffs in the East. It's funny. Warren. Well, that's the thing. The sons, they still have no bench.

Yeah. But the TJ Warren trade, I never understood that one. They just kind of gave him away. I guess they needed to create cap space to sign Kelly Oubre, and that's how they got Baines and all that. I get all of it, but you can go to him in the last two minutes of a game, and he can actually get a basket.

The list of guys you could say that about is not high. It's less than 40. I don't think I appreciated his size. I watched a good amount of the whiz against the Pacers last night. He's big. He's a big boy. He moves good. My most shocking thing is that Charlotte isn't terrible.

I don't think they're one of the worst four teams. I'm with you. I love this Devontae Graham. I don't ever remember even thinking about this guy last year. I just love that strategy. We're going to go shoot 33 as a game. Yeah. And we're going to sometimes get our asses handed to us.

And sometimes we're going to make half and we can win those games. I love that strategy. We're going to take a break and we're going to do million dollar picks. And now it's time for the state farm safe bet of the week the player you can count on just like football life can be unpredictable house that's why state farm agents are there to help with over 19 000 agents a local state farm agent could be just around the block whether you talk a person by phone or through the app yeah i mean a farm is there go with the one with the coverage and agents you can count on.

Accidents happen. Where's my agent? Is that a bit? It's not a bit. I'm going to fix the cup. Get the guy. Get the, you know, like Aaron Rodgers in the other one. So Josh Jacobs, Offensive Rookie of the Year. We like Josh Jacobs.

Right now the odds, he's minus 125. I think he's on a Raiders team that has a puncher's chance of being in the terrible early Saturday wildcard game. Maybe the sixth seed. Maybe in Indianapolis or Houston. But I could see him doing the 2,000-plus all-purpose yards. Here's the thing. Here's the competition. Kyler Murray, plus 150.

David Montgomery, 10-1. That's not happening. No. DK Metcalf, 15 150. David Montgomery, 10 to 1. That's not happening. No. DK Metcalf, 15 to 1. Hold that thought. Okay. G. Minshew's already out.

Marquise Brown, no. Daniel Jones, no. Devin Singletary, 30 to 1. It's not ridiculous. There's eight games, so he could go on a 10. He got hot. He looked really good last week. Yeah.

The guy I would be worried about for this bet is DK Metcalf because he is turning into Russell Wilson's kind of Doug Baldwin after working out with a personal trainer for two straight months, but he's become a reliable third down end zone

guy. Here's the thing with Jacobs though. First of all, he's awesome. We've already talked about him in this segment before. Second, he's the heart of that Raiders team. That's it. You know he's going to get the touches. He's getting the touches. That's the point. This is why I like it. I just think he's going to be the guy.

So Josh Jacobs, minus 125. You sign off on that? I'm on it. Does it feel safe to you? Not only does it feel safe. I wouldn't have to call the agent because no accidents are going to happen if you go in that direction. All right.

Stay firm. Talk to an agent today. All right. We're in some trouble with million-dollar picks. We had the Colts last week, and I think we would have won, and Jacoby got hurt. And that was our biggest bet of the year, $700,000. Oh, I forgot that. Jacoby gets hurt.

On top of that, the Colts have a chance to win the game. They get a first down. They're in the 28. They basically go sideways for three downs, and then Vinatieri shanks one. One of the worst kicks I've ever seen in a game. The fucking guy doesn't have the laces in the right spot. Vinatieri, almost like his body convulsed.

It was like he killed over. Kyle and I had a whole conversation about whether Belichick was asking him to tank the Colts games because the Pats wanted to bring him back. Kyle still thinks that, I think. I think he handed Kansas City a loss when he got rid of Jacoby. He knew it was happening two years ago. I'm kidding. Can't argue with it. Can't be ruled out.

So we got to win some back. We lost $652,000 last week. Feels like a big loss. We're down 1.157 million for the season, but I feel like we can win all of this back. First game. I've watched a shocking amount of Tampa Bay Bucks games this year, mostly on offense because I have their two receivers,

Godwin and Evans. And Evans has been just flat out incredible. Yes. Tampa is a very entertaining two and six. They've been in these games for the most part. They've just been kind of, I don't want to say they could be five and three, but I think they could easily be four and four.

Remember, they lose that stupid Giants game in week three. They were in it with the Tennessee game that they squandered. And then they lose in Seattle in OT last week. Those were all like either-or games. Yes. So here's the other thing with them that I think is fascinating. And I didn't even know until I was researching this. They've only played two home games.

This is them and the Raiders have been on these insane, like five game road trip. Yeah. What's going on in the NFL. So far this year, they've played in Los Angeles, Seattle, and London.

How is that fair? Fucking fucking brutal how is that all of those places are 3 000 miles or more away from tampa right so their schedule actually gets a lot easier but they had the fourth hardest schedule by dvoa and that's even before you work into the hole every week they've been playing somewhere else they've 18 turnovers this year which is not in, in my opinion, a sustainable number. I think a couple of them have been fluke. In your opinion? Flukey. Oh, you're saying at that rate of turnover,

that's not the sustainable part. Yeah, two plus turnovers a game is pretty atypical. They're only 18th in DVOA. I thought that number was going to be lower. Arizona, who they're playing this week, is 26th. Arizona is the third rushing offense in DVOA. Tampa has the number one run defense by DVOA. Arizona has the 28th passing defense by DVOA. Arizona's three wins this year are Cincinnati, the Giants, and the Falcons. Losers.

Those are three of the worst five teams in the league? Yes. And I don't know. To me, this feels like a big Tampa win followed by people going, Oh, like Jameis has been pretty good the last few weeks. I guarantee if you look in your fantasy league, he's probably starting for whoever has him this week. The only thing I can say to you in terms of a tap the brakes.

Is fucking Jameis Winston involved? Yes. Oh, I left out one other thing. Bruce Arian's revenge game. Oh. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah.

Them carrying Bruce off the field after he beats the Cardinals. I just wish it was three or three and a half at most. I'm not thinking about that. I'm so tired of backing off of bets because of the points. This is part of the reason we haven't done well enough this year. You're not concerned that the Cardinals have had— The cheap touchdown. Well, and they had the extra rest because they played the Thursday game.

And didn't they look pretty good against San Francisco? They were never really like, you know. They looked okay. They looked okay. They were competent. They were competent. They looked all right. So we could do money line.

It's minus four and a half. It's minus 220 for the Bucks money line. The over-under is 52 and a half. See, I would the bucks money line the over under is 52 and a half see i would much rather this is what i would do if it was my million dollars yeah i would bet whatever we agree upon on the tampa money line plus the over because i just think this is going to be with overs though i i'm it's fine i'm just telling you. And I'm sure the over is the squarest bet on the board. But I just see this as one of those 42 to 38 games. One of those kind of games.

I have one other option for you. Tampa money line, minus 220, with the Baltimore money line, which is minus 525, and the Saints money line, minus 220, with the Baltimore money line, which is minus 525, and the Saints money line against Atlanta, which is minus 700. That parlay is minus 102. Oh, we got to even money. Yeah. That's pretty good.

Want to do that? Yeah, but let's not go huge on it. I'm worried about Baltimore. I don't love teams that haven't won a game coming in off of a bye week. The game could be closer than we thought, but they're not going to lose to Cincinnati. It doesn't feel like they are, but how many people last week

thought that Green Bay was going to lose to the Chargers? True. Or that the Cowboys were going to lose to the Jets? That's minus 102. Hold that thought. Second one, the Miami-Indianapolis line is just way too high.

It's too high. It's the dumbest line of the week. I almost can't believe it. Miami is getting 10.5 points in Indianapolis. We love the Colts. They've been very good to us until last week's catastrophe. People don't use catastrophe enough with gambling. I would say Jacoby getting hurt in the first quarter and them losing to that stupid Pittsburgh team that doesn't even have a quarterback.

Borderline catastrophe. Miami's, I think people are still in the mindset that they're horrendous and they're just not. Well, I will say this week, folks are finally taking note. They've covered the last four games. I believe the majority of the money so far that's been bet on this game is on the points with Miami. I think the public is finally catching on. Washington, they lose by one,

where they actually went for two to win it. They didn't get it. At Buffalo, 31-21. And they were in that game, and that actually was a three-point game, and then the onside kick touchdown for the crazy cover. Pittsburgh was 27-14 on a Monday night. They were up 14-0. And then that game just got weird.

But they hung around that one, I thought. And then they beat the Jets last week, 26-18. And the Jets fans were upset about how devastating and just what an awful loss. And I was like, Miami actually kind of played better than you guys. Right. So I look at this and is there a way to take advantage of the fact that Miami's last seven games totals,

43-37, 40-33-52-41-44. And then you have the Colts who aren't going to have Jacoby Brissett who don't have T.Y. Hilton. You have a T.Y. Hilton stat. I do have a T.Y. Hilton stat. Since he, over the last two years, as a starter for the Indianapolis Colts, when he misses a game, they are winless. They are 0-6, I believe.

And you can feel it. We've watched a lot of Colts this year. You can feel it when he's not out there. It's rough. So my thought is the 10.5 is great. A tease would be even greater. If you can get that to, you know, if you throw them in a 10 point seat tease, you have Miami getting 20 and a half and you could make the under 54. So they'd have to score 55 points. What are the ads? Those two teams could get to 55, 55 points, not to mention the bad field goal kicking. How expensive is that? Is that teaser? Well, it would just be a three-team, ten-team teaser. You'd have to find a third team. Okay.

But you could also do a two-team, seven-point teaser, bring the Miami to 17.5, and you could bring the over-under to 51. I like that one. Let's do that one. You like that one? Yes. And it's not disrespectful to the Colts. We really, I think at this stage of the game, can hold ourselves out as Colts experts.

I mean, we bet on them nearly every week. We really know the rhythm of what they're capable of. Every single game they've played in in the 2019-20 football season has been decided by one score or less. So, you know, putting in a wager that requires a three score W plus the totals that you just went through, this is just a sound way of generating a little return on investment as far as I'm concerned. So the seven point T's is minus 130, isn't it?

I don't know. You have the odds up. Yeah, it's minus 130. So that's a key point with Indianapolis about the under, the rhythm of how they play. It's a very methodical team. They take their time. It's 30,

35 seconds in the play clock. It's handoffs. It's play action. And they're just a really careful team. It's not like, oh, we're going no huddle. We're going to really up the pace on Miami.

And I just think this is going to be an ugly game more than anything. So if we do a seven point, that would be Miami to 17 and a half. And then the under to 51. Okay. That's minus one 30. Okay. So you like that? Yeah, to 51. Okay. That's minus 130. Okay. So you like that?

Yeah, I do. Okay. Cowboys minus three against Minnesota. Can I make the case? I have one thing in mind that tilts me one particular direction. I'm eager to hear the case. Minnesota might be the good-bad team.

Oh. They beat Atlanta. They beat Oakland. That's their best win, probably. They beat New York, the Giants. They beat Philly. Uh-huh.

I think Philly's their best win. They beat Detroit. They beat Washington. Uh-huh they lost to green bay they scored six points against chicago and they lost to kansas city and matt moore who was teaching phys ed like three weeks ago those are their wins yes you like that i don You like that? I don't like that that much. You don't like that. Here's the other thing. It's weirdly a must win for Dallas. They're five and three, Phillies five and four.

And Dallas's schedule is about to get harder. Dallas is plus 85 for the year right now. Offensively, they have the number one offense at DVOA, which I did not realize. And the line's only three. Here's the other thing. No Adam Thielen, who I just feel like they fall apart when he's not out there.

He's like the third and seven guy for them. So could they just slow down Dalvin Cook and let Kirk make a mistake? Then that's the other thing Kirk Cousins there you go you get Kirk Cousins this is the angle guess what it's a Sunday night game for Kirk Cousins you said it and not only that it's against a team with a winning record like two humongous Kirk Cousins bugaboos how do we not put money on that yeah this is this is why this is a I'm going from strong lean to lock.

We got to play Dallas this week. Okay. And then you had one year of the Rams. I like the Rams minus four at Pittsburgh. The Steelers are one and four this season against teams with a winning record. Now, Micah Fitzpatrick has been really good. He has been impactful. He has helped that defense. Their defense looks very good right now. They have done a good job against the team since

Mr. Fitzpatrick has joined them of holding teams below their average scoring and average total yards. But their offense is terrible. It's really, even the craziest Steelers fans I know, and I know a few, unfortunately for me, all of them are like, yeah, Mason Rudolph's not good. They can't generate sustainable drives. The average scoring drive for the Pittsburgh Steelers so far this season is just a little over 44 yards. So that's first in the league. That's tops in the leagues in terms of the length of drive

that produces a score. That's a direct relationship, bears direct correlation to the turnovers that their defense is generating. They are way below average at drives that start where normal drives begin, the opponent's 25-yard line. I mean, their own 25-yard line having to go the length of the field. They're bottom five in the NFL in that category. So I just like the Rams who've had all of this time. They're coming off the bye week. They are in a position here where they can pick up.

They're going to pick up a game on either Seattle or San Francisco because those teams are facing each other. The Rams can't afford to lose this game. They have to win this game to get to six and three and position themselves for both the playoffs and and potentially the nfc west i really feel like like anything under a touchdown to me for the rams feels like value and i love the rams so the fear would be jared goff outdoors that's it in a location where the fans are rooting for the other team no brandon cooks we might not see brandon cooks again this year year and that's it but I actually think

the Rams defense can win this game and to your point if the Rams win this game they're 6-3 they're home for Chicago home for Baltimore next two weeks

at Arizona home Seattle at Dallas at San Francisco home Arizona those are three a lot of hard games

one two four really hard games. One, two, four really hard games. Yeah. So this is like if they lose this game, they're fucked. They're fucked. Their season's over.

Well, what about this? Tampa and the Rams money lines together is plus 118. That's pretty good. I like that. So we can do that over Tampa, Baltimore,

and New Orleans. Yeah. Because that, that, that, I mean, we could also lose that, but... I like it. All right, here's what we're doing. Million dollar picks.

Week 10? 10? Yeah. Cowboys minus three. Must win game. More importantly, a must lose game on a Sunday night for the king of losing night games on television, Kirk Cousins. Going up against a winning team.

He does not like that. Chris Collinsworth going, Al, I've just never seen anything like this. This guy in a night game on TV. I just don't understand it, Al. I just don't understand it. That's your Collinsworth? Yeah, I tried. That's a little Bradshaw.

Sorry, I tried. 500K on the Cowboys minus three. Lots of shots of Jerry Jones awkwardly high-fiving his son and whoever else is in there. Let's do 300 on Tampa and the Rams. The money lines plus 118. I like that. Feels positive.

Feels like a way to generate a little revenue. Yeah. And then finally, we will risk 260 to win 200 on Miami plus 17 and a half, seven point tees with the under to 51. I'm going to really bet this with my own money. You're going to bet. You want to put more money on it? Well, I'm going to put my own money on that. I really like that bet. All right. Well, I'll do 360 then. I'll do 360 to win 300 on that. Great. So there we go. Cowboys minus three, 500. Rams, Bucks, money parlay, 300 at plus 118. And then we have my, I can't believe we're betting on the Dolphins. Dolphins plus 17 and a half with the under of 51 in that game. Fitz magic!

360K to win 300 on that one. There you go, Joe Haas. All right, we're going to take a break. We're going to bring the Mother Dragons in. Hey, let's talk about SoFi. If you're like most millennials, you know you should be investing, but you're not sure where to start. Well, getting your money right doesn't have to be hard.

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All right, Mallory is here. We do Mallory's Most Intriguing every week. You can also hear on the Binge Mode Star Wars podcast. Indeed. Have you enraged Star Wars Nation yet? You know, I don't want to jinx it. Hasn't happened yet. It's been...

Yet. Yet. Yet is the operative word. I definitely took a lot of heat for my movie power rankings and where I had Last Jedi. But aside from that, I would say that people have been quite kind and encouraging and receptive. Yeah. And it's been going well so far. I hope it continues to go well. I just remind everyone that our common ground is that we love this thing and it's OK if we don't agree on every single aspect of it. That's fine. That's how I feel about Devin Booker? You missed that conversation. I admire the effort on the Jar Jar Binks

because, you know, that's an extra-cribble character to me. It was a kind treatment. It was a thoughtful treatment. It's exactly what you would expect out of Binge Mode. I shouldn't act like I'm surprised. I would just say, oh, here's the Jar Jar

Binks episode. Okay, that was over. Let's go on to the next one. You know, we try to understand. I know. I would just say, oh, here's the Jar Jar Binks episode. Okay, that one's over. Let's go on to the next one. You know, we try to understand. I know. I love it. Yeah, thank you. It's part of the charm. It's really nice.

Well, you guys are America's favorite platonic couple. It's nice to get you in the same room. You have all the same interests. Well, I'm going to. I just made fun of House for winning the, for DC being the junior heavyweight city of champions. It's an outrage. Winning all titles in sports that America kind of cares about,

but not totally. It's ridiculous. Baseball, hockey, WNBA. You know how I feel about DC sports. Team tennis, we couldn't remember if they won that one. Lacrosse, I don't think that season's over yet. Well, I mean, lacrosse is Baltimore sport fully. That's a great point.

Yeah, that's true. Did you tell him that I sent you an emergency text message late last night about the Jenny's holiday ice cream? Wait, what? Oh, yeah. Oh, I haven't seen

or heard this yet. This is a crucial moment. Speaking of load management, where is it? Here's... You hear that, Kawhi? Kawhi. Mallory texted this to me and Jeff Chow last night.

And Jeff Chow's response was, you have a sickness. Which I thought was kind of mean. It was hurtful. Jeff can be mean sometimes. Jeff is very supportive in general, and I'm grateful for his encouragement. Cognac and gingerbread pint. Hell yeah. I mean, I don't want to make this all about me.

I just want to express the tiniest bit of disappointment that I wasn't just included in this. I knew you were poised for travel. I was. I was late. I was asleep. It's true. I was I was on the couch.

Boozy eggnog pint. Yes. Which I think is. Oh, I should say boozy eggnog. All of those words are foreplay. Boozy eggnog, which is words are foreplay boozy eggnog which is the sequel to load management

is it really can we tell Mallory hold on hold that thought your research okay but look I researched whether

there had ever been a porn movie called load management and the answer was no that's not true there's no way there has to have been no there wasn't

I looked she agrees there has to have been I mean we believe you I'm not doubting you it just seems so unlikely That's not true. There has to have been. No, there wasn't. I looked. She agrees. There has to have been. I searched. I couldn't find it. I mean, we believe you. I'm not doubting you. It just seems so unlikely. Sweet potato with torched marshmallows.

God, that's so good. White chocolate peppermint. That was my wife's favorite on this list. Soothing. This is my favorite. Whiskey and pecans. That's a great one. Whiskey and pecans is an OG.

It's an OG. We've had it. And dark as chocolate. We've been there I like the whiskey and pecans because I do feel like they put real alcohol in it

oh absolutely like if you eat a whole pint of that you are feeling a little funny after just a tiny bit but in a good way

delicious alright you have you do your most intriguing yeah I think I this is the first time I ever requested a topic from you

it's the second time second time okay second time you were going from five to one or one to five let's go from five to one

okay well it's really up to you what order do you want to go in what was the topic that Billy BF sent you are we saving it the topic that he sent me I have at

number three today right in the middle okay that's fine so all right start with number five number five by the way we haven't really interacted since the Ravens-Pats game, and she's been very kind about it.

Hold on. We haven't really interacted. You've been ducking me all week. I, as Kyle can tell you, because I literally accosted him on the street and made him take selfies with me as he shielded his face. I came into work on Monday, decked out, head to toe, in Ravens regalia, waiting to take an embarrassing picture with you and post it on Instagram.

Couldn't find you. I sent you a text message right after the game. You responded, on to Philadelphia, which I do not think is a response you would have accepted from me had the circumstances been reversed. You did not respond to my tweet. The only thing I'll say is... I don't care about early November. I don't

celebrate Super Bowl parades on November 3rd. That's my counter. Let me enjoy this now. Yeah, I let you enjoy it. I didn't say anything. I was so psyched that everybody buried the pats. That was the biggest win of all time for us. That's absurd. Nobody's doing that. Nobody's doing that. Nobody's doing that.

Baltimore. Straw man, exactly. Who's burying the past? Somebody did. Nobody did. Nobody did. By the way, I found a second person who didn't think Lamar Jackson could make it as a quarterback. Because everyone always blames Bill Polian for this.

Booker McFarlane was the other one. That's right. He said Louisville should convert him to wide receiver to give him a better chance. All those receipts came out. All those receipts were on the table on Monday. That's very tough. So when people talk about all the people who thought Lamar couldn't play quarterback, it's basically Bill Pullian, who's 145 years old, and Booger McFarlane,

who we get to hear every week on Monday night and I'll rest my case on that one. Well, I think it was, it wasn't just about the people who overtly said he should play running back or he should play receiver.

It was the way that once he actually was out there on the field, so much of the way people assessed his play was charged in some way. Yeah. This is also true

after that playoff game, that playoff loss. Leslie, this is, this is how I, this is great. This is also true after that playoff game, that playoff loss. Leslie, this is, this is how I, this is great. This is how I do every single podcast.

I rest the stand on my belly because this way I know I won't forget. I've been known in the past to like start talking or whatever

with the phone or whatever the hookup is in Washington, D.C. Yeah. And I forget that there's a microphone I'm supposed to speak into. Oh.

If it's on my belly, there's no chance of me forgetting. And it's very comfortable, as you can see. Anyway, that playoff loss last year to, remind me, Chargers? Who did they lose to? The Ravens or Chargers? Yes. They had beaten them a few weeks prior.

It validated all that Lamar skepticism. It absolutely did not. No, no. I'm saying in the Twitter sphere. For validated all that Lamar skepticism. It absolutely did not. No, no. I'm saying in the Twitter sphere the Twitter rally all came out. Oh, see? The point has been proven. He can't throw the ball. If he's not running, if you can't get him going with the run, he can't throw. That was actually the worst of

Twitter in two ways because it was the anti-Lamar and then it was the pro-Lamar doing the, he's okay, he's okay, he's fine. And it was like, he sucked in the game.

It didn't really have to mean anything. He just had a really bad game. That was my argument to you. It was like, he sucked. Let's move on. Does it mean his career's over? I think that's reductive,

but we don't need to litigate the past. What's reductive? He sucked. He sucked in the game. They didn't sufficiently adjust the game plan to face a team they had beaten mere weeks prior. That won't happen again.

The coaching this season has been incredible. Harbaugh's ready every week. Now defend Kendall Roy shitting in his own bed. I will. He had an active night. He did have an active night. Met a new woman. He didn't want to make it to the toilet.

All sorts of new sensations. Had to listen to his brother embarrass the family by talking about the electric circus, a novel that doesn't exist at the dinner table. Since when is shitting in the bed indefensible?

Why does anybody have to defend it? Frankly, we should just be congratulating him because they fucked in the helicopter previously

and he waited to embarrass himself until he had removed himself from the company of another human being. I don't even think he was embarrassed. He's like, I gotta go. Gotta go. It's indicative of his disdain for

all norms and societal constraints. Don't care. Did you see the video of Lamar seeing Tom Brady before the game? No, no. I haven't seen this. And after the game. And then after the game.

That was nice. Tom Brady came up to him because he loves to do this with the up-and-comers. He butters them up early so they feel bad. This is the Scott Van Pelt move too. He gives a little. Did you get the Scott Van Pelt treatment? Huh? No, I think it's smart.

Okay. Gets in early. Yeah. But Lamar was very nice and said twice, goat. That's a goat right there. Yeah. It was great. He's right.

It was really emotional. It is a goat. What was the after game one? Same thing? Yeah. Yeah. It was sweet. He really admires Brady.

He's talked about it many times. I think if you're going most likable quarterback, just from press conferences and NFL films interactions, he's probably number one. Patrick Mahomes, number one. No, I have Lamar over Mahomes. Come on. It's definitely Lamar.

And Aaron Rodgers last. Aaron Rodgers. I don't think he's a dick in real life, but in the football NFL films version of Aaron Rodgers he's not I don't think he's a dick in real life but in the football NFL films version of Aaron Rodgers he just seems kind of like

precious Lamar is very charmingly forthright in his interviews you know really just says what's on his mind wears wonderful t-shirts he's happy

he he's living in the moment there's a joy to him there is a joy it's infectious let's hope that he's he runs a little bit less I don't want any of a joy to him. There is a joy to him. It's infectious. Let's hope that he runs a little bit less.

I don't want any of that joy to get caught in a, you know, awkward turn. Stop it. He reminds me, House and I have been watching 2012 OKC

games for this, this podcast we're taping tomorrow. And there was a joy to that Thunder team that I really missed. Because as those guys got older

and a little more jaded and all that just like everything's in front of them and they're just happy I think you would feel it with Lamar no matter what but the contrast

to the Flacco era in particular is really having a handsome corpse it's just the guys on the team want to play for him they have fun

playing with him you hear the way like Earl Thomas is out there saying MVP and it doesn't even matter if you think that's valid. It's just the fact that they're all having so much fun playing

for each other. Also, I discovered last night that Marlon Humphrey has an Instagram for his cat. Every day I fall more in love with this team. This is so up your alley. Hit up It's Snowflake on Instagram. Check it out. Also, I'm just going to... A little teaser here. I got another cat thing coming up for you

in the top five today. Do not... What's number five? Okay. All right. Number five. Every now and then, I ask Bill to indulge me and talk about college football. Oh. And this is one of those weeks because it's... It's a big game this week. It's LSU Alabama weekend. Is there something we can gamble on? Ryan Rosillo's there. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. It's LSU Alabama. Number two, LSU. Number three, Alabama. The first college football playoff poll came out this week. Okay. And those two teams. I know I was on the edge of my seat. You must have been. I know you love the sport and I know that you're invested in Nick Saban's legacy.

How did Condi Rice vote? Isn't she one of the voters? Condi Rice, doesn't she help with this? Two of the top four teams in the first playoff ranking. Yeah. Facing off immediately the other two teams. Ohio State was number one. Penn State number four.

They'll play in a couple weeks. Penn State was number four? Penn State number four. Clemson, controversially, at five. Yeah. Interesting stuff. That's disrespectful. So this is an incredible game if you're a college football fan.

But my sell for you, because I know you don't accept that argument. Gambling? NFL draft scouting. Draft season starts now. Okay. Start paying attention to the prospects. This is as good a game

as any to start paying attention to. What's the number one question? Is Tua healthy? Alabama quarterback, number one prospect in the draft. He sprained his ankle?

Well, he sprained it badly enough that he had to have surgery on it. Oh, Jesus. He had to have ankle surgery in two draft. He sprained his ankle? Well, he sprained it badly enough that he had to have surgery on it. And it's his second ankle surgery in two years. It's the other ankle. He's now had ankle surgery two seasons in a row,

which is not great. Saban being a little cagey about whether or not Tua's going to be ready to play. It sounds like he's going to, even though this only happened a couple weeks ago. But then what's question number two?

Whether or not Tua is out there, can Joe Burrow take Tua's crown? Joe Burrow is LSU's quarterback, and he is having a classic college football, out-of-nowhere hero season. He's currently the Heisman frontrunner. A little background. Great name. Joe Burrow is a great name. Four-star prospect back in the day, Originally went to Ohio State. Couldn't crack it. Couldn't beat JT Barrett for the job. And then knew he was going to lose out to Haskins. Ended up transferring.

Played for LSU last year. Was, I say this with nothing but admiration, like the definition of mediocre. Yeah. And this year is just an absolute star. He's got 30 touchdowns, only four picks. Not only is he the Heisman frontrunner at the moment, he's suddenly a top 10 NFL draft prospect, maybe the number two quarterback in the draft at this moment. So they're facing off, which is awesome. Also, Alabama has three receivers who are, and I mean this, potentially top 20 picks in this draft,

three, and LSU has two defensive backs in this draft who are maybe top 20 picks, and they're going to be facing off against each other. Everywhere you look on the field, there's NFL talent. Plus, I'm sure you can gamble on it if you want to. Alabama minus six. Alabama minus 215 money line. Over under 63.

Trump will be at the game, by the way. What a week for him. What was the other thing he went to this week? Well, he hosted the Nationals. He hosted the Nats. At the White House. And he was at MSG for the UFC fight. For the UFC fight.

Man. He's coming out. Doubling down on his sports base. This is going to be an incredible game. It's a great game for how SEC play. We're going to watch it together. We'll bet on it. Oh, that'll be fun.

We are going to bet on it. It's on at 3. Oh, that'll be fun. We are going to bet on it. It's on at 3.30. Wow. How much fun is that going to be? Pay attention to Jerry Judy, Henry Ruggs, and Devonta Smith, Alabama receivers. They're incredible. And then Fulton and Delpit for LSU. All right.

Number four. Number four. Actually, let's take a break and then we'll do number four. We just talked about LSU, Alabama. FanDuel Sportsbook, in partnership with Value Forge is giving you the chance to get an even bigger win when you bet on the game. Sign up with promo code BS.

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Terms apply. Pre-game wager required. Max $125 bonus. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or in Indiana, call 1-800-9-WITH-IT. Most intriguing. Number four. Number four. Number four.

Sponsored by Jenny's, even though it's not actually sponsored, but we did really give them a plug. Whiskey and pecans. Maybe they'll send us some Jenny's. They always do. They're not afraid to send it. They've sent cases here before.

I've seen it. Nothing I love more than Jenny's. If there was a bathtub filled with Jenny's ice cream. Yeah, I would bathe in it and eat it all. You would climb into it and try to eat your way out? Absolutely. I wouldn't get out of the tub until I had finished. What's the downside? What's the most Jenny's ice cream

you've eaten in one night? I feel like that's an experience you want to share with a partner, though. The bathtub. That's a fantasy suite in The Bachelor. You want to know how close I came just now to talking about getting in the bathtub with her and eating the ice cream? And then I was like, oh, wait a minute. I crossed the line last week. I don't want to offend her husband two weeks in a row. I have a wife.

I just can't keep doing this. It'd be funny if he knew that you guys were being in the pod together and Adam came and was just kind of standing in the corner. Hey, what's up? Great to see you. Yeah, I thought I'd just watch the pod. Did they send any of the Texas sheet cake? That's his favorite.

All right, number four. Number four. What a weekend. Yeah. For New York sports sadness. Giants-Jets. The Pooper Bowl. Oh, that's so great.

The Pooper Bowl. And not only do we have Dimes versus Darnold, the Jets inadvertent tank in full effect, everything that's happening with Gase. Do a Google search right now for Adam Gase and read some of these headlines. But we have the added variable, if you'll indulge me for a moment, of the MetLife cat. The black cat? I saw that. Terrific.

Will the cat come back? I just want to be clear about something something I want to know how you feel about the cat I was really my reaction was one of pure concern most people thought this is so cute oh let's make a meme let's make a gif here's a video here's a funny joke about the scouting report and how

the cat would be better for the Giants than most of the players on their roster I was like does the cat have medicine does the was like, does the cat have medicine? Does the cat have food? Does the cat have shelter? And guess what? I did some research.

The answer is yes. Apparently, hundreds of cats live at the stadium. What? I read this article. I didn't read this article. There's a stray cat thing going on there. It falls a bit into, from the rewatchables, half-assed internet research. Like, you're not sure if you should believe what you're reading.

But there's certainly reporting out there that cats were brought in to the Meadowlands complex to fend off the rat problem. Now, the cats, I saw 300 cited as a number, have formed multiple colonies. Apparently, the stadium organization organization they feed them colonies i mean you took a rat problem and made it a cat problem how does that make any sense underrated television show by the way they feed them dry food then there were quotes in this new york post piece and some other pieces from individual employees who were saying yeah they have dry food but i know the cats like wet food so i I provide them with wet food. And then I would like to read a line from this article. This is from the Post piece.

Quote, officials at MetLife denied last Monday that the facility is overrun by cats. Denied? That's a thing that they have to say now. That's the state of things right now. Overrun by cats? You can't have 300 cats in a stadium. That doesn't make any sense. Well, where do they shit? Like like in the underneath this sounds like the next great health crisis well there's all sorts of

stuff there right the racetrack there's a lot of land this sounds like that's a MRSA this is outbreak started with the monkey in the kitchen what was that one right yeah i want the cats to be okay that's my primary concern. I'm worried about Sam Darnold's career, but I will. I knew you were worried about the black cat

when that thing was running around. I was so worried. That thing was getting caught by a net or something. Well, I just, he seemed so, he was so clearly afraid. Yeah, there was an anxiety.

He was overcome by anxiety. That's exactly right. Have you noticed how announcers don't know how to handle moments like that? But this one was an all-timer. Booger and Tess were, I mean, they were fake laughing for three and a half minutes. No, Kevin Harlan incorporated a live read, a sponsorship.

I saw that. That was funny. Otherworldly. The Monday Night Guys were like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Well. It was just like for three and a half minutes. It's like, all right. So dissimilar from the rest of the broadcast between those two.

So the cat. The cat. Are you more worried about the cat or about Sam Darnold's interception rate? That's my question for you right now. You made me think about dark times for New York sports right now. Francesa stepping down. The Pooper Bowl. Meadowlands, whatever it's called now, being overrun by cats.

The Knicks, House and I just did it on our podcast. We think they're the worst team in the league. Hockey, whatever. Nobody cares until April. And they like the Nets

are exactly setting the world on fire. Yeah, no KD. It's pretty rough. Yankees are not going to get Garrett Cole. That's what I was just going to say. Hopefully they'll miss out on Cole. Aren't they doing a deal with Gardner?

Yeah, Jacko is also. We're going to see Jacko this weekend and make Yankee jokes for 48 straight hours. I mean, I'm wearing my... Cole's going to go

to the Angels, you think? Well, he's a West Coast guy, California guy. I think the Phillies have a real chance. The Angels...

I do. Not to get morbid for a second, but the Angels kind of... The Tyler Skaggs thing just kind of came and went. Did it?

I don't know. That's an active and incredibly complex investigation. I know, but that feels like that should be the biggest baseball story right now. I think it has a chance to still be. It probably could be, yeah. So why are they the front runner against Cole? It's like, hey, you know what team on Shinesworth? The team that's in an active drug investigation right now. That sounds enticing.

I get to live in Anaheim. I don't know. I don't know. Awesome. Jeff Chow seems certain he'll end up on the Phillies. That sounds enticing. I get to live in Anaheim. I don't know. I don't know. Awesome. Jeff Chow seems certain he'll end up on the Phillies. I hate that outcome. Do you think Strasburg's going to re-sign? Yes.

Strasburg, I believe, is a lock. You got to lock down Zimmerman and Suzuki. It'd lock them up. Strasburg's a lock. He moves his family. He is a creature of habit. They have treated him enormously well in his time in Washington. I'm more worried about Anthony Rendon.

No, he's had a great time. They signed him to an extension. They initiated an extension when they didn't have to. They overpaid. His opt-out is to bring him up to market. He deserves market. They'll pay him. And that all makes sense.

It's a win-win-win for everybody. I think Rendon ends up in a Texas team. God damn it, I don't want to hear that. That really hurts my feelings. He's from Houston. I know. I think he wants to be back there. God damn it! I worry about the Rangers, actually. I actually have a prediction. What is it? Is it that the Red Sox

are going to trade Mookie Betts? No. I don't want to talk about Mookie Betts. I can't handle it. See? I don't want to talk about Anthony Randone. November 8th, 3.30 p.m. Pacific time. Okay. I think the Dodgers are going to trade Clayton Kershaw to one of the two Texas teams. And my guess is it's going to be the Houston Astros. Well, that would be the classic place for him.

Kershaw, fresh start. The Verlander. He's from Texas. Reboot, restart. Moving on from the Dodger decade. That feels like an Astro Z kind of move. I cannot see them trading him. Okay.

I see him ending up there after this current contract expires. He's a franchise legend. You can't trade him. All right. I don't know if there was a moment. Mark that clip. Got it. What's number three, Mallory? Number three, special request from SG. Oh! What the

hell is going on with these Chargers relocation rumors? The London rumor and, better than the rumor itself, the response from Chargers brass to the rumor, and then even better than the response from the Chargers, the response from Chargers brass to the rumor, and then even better than the response from the Chargers, the subsequent conspiracy theories about the Rams. This is the best story right now.

The Rams driving this. I don't know all the details. The rumor is the Rams are driving this. They don't want the Chargers to stay because they're competing for these suites and leases, all these seat leases, all these different things. But really, nobody wants two LA football teams. Everyone in this entire region has made that pretty clear. And the Rams want to be the team.

And they kind of are the team. There's no Charger fans. They want to boot the Chargers out. So the conspiracy is they started this rumor about the Chargers moving to London and leaked it to somebody because this was a reporter who had also broken

some other Rams players. Yeah, and Florio had a PFT piece about this and started to gain steam. This is terrific. Here's my... It's a little succession-y. Do you think there's any chance

that this is true? If I were the owner of the... I would jump at being the London team if I was a team like the Chargers, where there's zero path to me ever succeeding in any major way whatsoever in this region. It will never happen. Here is what Chargers owner Dean Spanos said. Dean.

By the way. Dean's been lights out this decade. If there's been a bad move to make, he's made it. As I understand it, he called reporters over to him. He wanted to make sure that they were going to hear him say this. Okay. And I quote, it's total fucking bullshit. Said this in front of like seven media members.

We're not going to London. We're not going anywhere we're playing in los angeles this is our home and this is where we are planning to be for a long fucking time period and then in conjunction with that the official chargers team twitter tweeted out the we're not leaving wolf of wall street clip and then dean had sex in a helicopter and took a shit in his bed. Well, I,

I think that was succession. My bad. Yeah. He shits in his bed every night. I mean, as, as that, he's been doing that to the chargers for 10 years. Here's an idea.

Just build a 35,000 seat stadium in San Diego. That was a 50,000. You see, I'm saying like, you don't have to build a football stadium. That looks like giant stadium. You can build one that's like 40,000. It's tight. It could have music

like there. It's not like there's not a ton of money in San Diego. There was 10 million ways. I go there for soccer tournaments all the time. It's nice there. But financing the stadium was why they left in the first place. He wanted the stadium. He wanted them to pay for it. That's the whole thing. That's always the story. I know, but fuck him. Or sell 40% of the team and pay for it that way.

There's so many different ways to do this correctly. That's exactly right. Put it in Orange County. There's 10 million ways to save it. Absolutely. What a dumbass. Instead, he's tagging on to the Rams lease. He's a loser.

People barely want the Rams here. He's a loser. Do you think that the Rams started this has any validity? I do. Please, dear God. I love it. It's great. Please, dear God. It's great. Please, dear God.

It's great. To me, I understand the logic behind the conspiracy theory. It's hard to get people in LA to come to watch football games. There's only going to be so many bodies and so many dollars you can bring in, make sure they're coming to your games,

not your opponents. But first of all, as you said, that's already the case. The Rams already have the market share. The Chargers currently can't fill a soccer stadium. The Chargers are a zero impactor. None. At least not yet.

It's like, to me, it's the Don Draper, I don't think about you at all meme. Like, I just have a hard time believing that the Rams are letting the Chargers affect their plans at all or that they care or are worried. Well, but think of how low cost. The Chargers or the Ginsburg. Yeah, but think about how low cost that effort is.

Like, okay, let's write. We'll get this guy who's in our pocket to write one story. That's all the heavy lifting they had to do. One person associated with the organization saying write one story. And that's the nudge. That's all the nudge. We're not even telling him to write this story, but passing along information that might not be necessarily true. Not a big lift. You didn't really ask anybody to go really way out over their skis. That's a great story. He should have written that. Great story. Absolutely. If he's got information that says the Chargers might

move to London, that's a good story to write. Well, the Chargers have not only denied it, but the league has denied it. No substance whatsoever to this report. Oh, the good thing is the league has never lied. Take it to the bank. Bunch of stand-up citizens there. Number two. Number two.

Quarterback confidence watch. We have a few people we need to be keeping a very very close eye on this week a very close eye indeed number one this one is a little more straightforward but just to put it out there kyle allen now that now that cam newton is on ir panthers packers one of the best games of the weekend panthers packers rather had their very weird swoon last weekend will presumably come out in much better shape cam done for the year with the foot injury it's kyle allen's job right now and the thing about the cam story is everybody's saying general consensus seems to be this is it for him in carolina so kyle allen has the rest of the

season to prove that he should be the quarterback they build around what uniform is he gonna wear in the redskins you think i mean this is the thing i'm trying i was doing the math in my head two years from now he will be the quarterback of the Deadskins. Who will be on that team? I was sitting here literally thinking that. Cam Newton will be the quarterback of the Deadskins. That would be great. It's the most skinsy move possible. It's the skinniest. Dan Snyder's like, well, he was the MVP six years ago. This is the Dan Snyder move.

So Kyle Allen has a chance to either grab the job by the balls or punt it. That's right. And you're heading into a hell of a quarterback class. Plenty of options if you're not the guy. So you gotta earn it. He had the red flag and the yellow square next to him in fantasy this week.

It's a bummer. That's always tough. The combo. That's always very tough. And he's on pace for the best season. Here's my advice for CBS Sportsline. I think they could put more emojis next to the players. Like what? Body part? A body part emoji?

Like Alshon Jeffries should just have a toilet next to his thing. No red flag, nothing. Just like a toilet. That's not very nice. It's like, guess what? If you're starting, your team's going to the toilet this week. You're being petty now because you have Alshon Jeffries. No, I traded him.

That's why I could be petty now. Did you really? I traded him and Tevin Coleman. It was only Sunday night that you were saying, when will I stop playing Alshon Jeffery? I had both of those guys. I cut both. I traded him and Tevin Coleman for the 49ers defense and Cortland Sutton.

What? What? Who's in your league? Damoshek. Was this? Damoshek needed a running back. Drew Locke is going to be throwing passes to Courtland Sutton soon. Yeah, but I like Courtland Sutton.

I just didn't want Alshon Jeffrey anymore. I needed the 49ers. Yeah, I like having good defenses. Oh, my God. That's so strange. I agree. Well, Kevin Cole was my fourth running back. I didn't even need him.

You can never have too many running backs. I have Chubb. I have Marlon Mack. And I have Devin Singletary. Chubb has never let you down. And I have Kareem Hunt as the Chubb backup. I'm just set. That's too many running backs.

I didn't need Tevin Coleman. Okay. You know what I wanted? The 49ers D for the 14, 15, 16 weeks. Yeah. Okay. Next quarterback confidence watch. This is a big one.

Our friend Mitchell Biscuit-Trabisky. It's so bleak now. here's where we are with it not sure if you've been following the news but we've arrived at the moment where biscuit is giving quotes about how he doesn't want the televisions on in the bears complex that happened yesterday that's where we've arrived here's the quote trying to get some of these tvs in the building turned off because you got too many people talking on TV about us and what they think about us, what we should do, what we are and what we're not. They don't really know who we are or what we're capable of. This part actually makes me feel a little bad as people. I don't know.

Not just as football players, as people. So this is how you know he's really struggling here. He does seem like a nice guy. I feel bad for him. Or what we're going through or what we're thinking. It's just outside viewers looking in. Biscuit, he's getting existential. I'm really worried.

I feel bad now. Can we give the black cat from MetLife Stadium to Trubisky? Merge your two people you feel bad for? I don't know. Mitchell Trubisky once famously when he in college, sent a tweet about how he loved titties, but he spelled it with extra S's. I'm not sure he should be caring for animals. Titties?

Yeah. I'm not sure he should be caring for animals. What did he do? He started one year in high school, one year in college? One year at UNC. One year at UNC. It should have been one year in the NFL. He's about to be out of the league.

He has a choice to make. He gets to decide whether he's willing to be a backup quarterback or he's out of professional football. Third option. Ravens. XFL. Oh, XFL. This is a great call. You're right.

He'll be a great XFL player. He will be a great XFL player. Wow. Why build around Landry Jones and Connor Cook when you can build around Biscuit? Speaking of District of Champions, the defenders, the Washington entrant in the XFL. I love their odds. Washington defenders? The Washington defenders.

We have a quarterback from, I think, Ohio State from like six years ago. Cardell Jones? Yes, that's who we have. We have Cardell. We have Cadillac Cardell. We're going to win the XFL. He had a good Steelers moment. Yeah.

Vaguely remember? The Chargers for a minute. Yeah, for sure. Can you imagine Bears fans listening to this as we talk about Trubisky and the XFL? Unironically.

It's where he belongs. It's not our fault. I'm being completely earnest, by the way. And by the way, he has a great life. He should look in the mirror and think about how lucky he is

every single day. He got a huge deal. He was the number, a top five should look in the mirror and think about how lucky he is every single day. He got a huge deal. He was the number top five draft pick in the NFL and got that money. Think about the stroke of luck that was required to produce that result for him in his life. There are other things in life and apparently he doesn't have them right now.

The satisfaction of a job well done, knowing that people support you. But even Biscuit is not number one on the QB confidence watch meter. That is, of course, Mr. Trenchcoat and Mustache himself, Baker Mayfield, who you've talked about at length. We'll keep this quick. But it is a crucial update that we I think we have a journalistic responsibility to share with the listening public. If you were wondering why his facial hair changed three times during the game, you know, he came into the stadium. He had the full beard. Then he went to the listening public. If you were wondering why his facial hair changed three times during the game, you know, he came into the stadium, he had the full beard. Then he

went to the handlebars. And by the end, famously now, infamously, dare I say, at the end, he was rocking just the mustache. Why? Says the original thought for me, do handlebars. I was undefeated before Sunday with the handlebar mustache. So I shaved it off because I didn't deserve it Baker Mayfield is shaving his facial hair as games are unfolding because he doesn't think he deserves to have a handlebar mustache because of how poorly he's playing

that's where we've arrived I think the internet has driven an entire generation insane and that's Kyle's generation by the way I think it's driven them fucking insane has driven an entire generation insane. And that's Kyle's generation, by the way. I think it's driven them fucking insane. That's insane.

This guy's a starting quarterback on an NFL team. That's insane behavior. Let's be fair. It's troubling. I hope he's okay. I root for you, Baker. He is being driven insane. The two head coaches in his professional career have been Hugh Jackson and Freddie Kitchens.

Those are the two head coaches for the introduction. I like soups is better. I like soups. I like soups. But imagine like being Baker, you're taking shit and then you're going online and reading all of it. And you're going in your Twitter replies, and Joe House 69 is making fun of you, and you're getting mad. All this shit's driving everybody crazy. He gets in the Instagram comments and responds to people. There should be somebody in his life.

Don't do that. This is the point. There should be some adult in his life. I'm rooting for some adult in his life to intervene and say, look, you don't have to live this way. Just go be the best quarterback you can be. I understand that the situation is still chaotic AF. Don't

the kids say AF? AF, right? It's a terrible, terrible friend. They haven't fixed anything. Did you bet the under for Cleveland, by the way? How did we not give out the Cleveland Browns under as a mortal block? We did. We did. I don't think under for Cleveland, by the way? How did we not give out the Cleveland Browns under as a mortal lock? It was the lock of all locks. I just bet the Colts.

Them to miss the playoffs and them under whatever that crazy number was, were the two locks. They have some stuff to figure out still in Cleveland. He still could be good. He's shown some really sustainable good offensive football.

I still believe in his talent. Me too. Do you think? I'd like to see him get the ball to Odell. Yes or no question. At halftime, is he scrolling through his Twitter replies? I would say yes. God, I hope no.

At halftime, I say no, just because I think he spends all of halftime having to listen to Odell, asking why he hasn't thrown a pass to him once. He's asking kindly still. I think he's. Hey, man, I was open. For now. At halftime, applying salves and bombs and ice. Maybe in the minute and a half that Odell has to spend changing his cleats,

Baker scrolls through the tweets. It's all coming together. Maybe onto something. Do you think Roger Federer is online going, oh, man, these people think I'm washed up. I'm going to read another bad piece about myself. He's never had to play for the Cleveland Browns. That's right. He never played for Hugh Jackson.

Internet's driving everybody nuts. Number one. Number one. We got an actual football one here. Monday Night Football, hell of a game. Seahawks Niners. Great game. The return of one of the most important modern day rivalries

in the NFL. Oh, okay. Interesting. Robert Mays wrote about this for TheRinger.com. Great website today. Good website. Good piece. Good rivalry. Hoping for a good football game. 7-2 Hawks. It's probably the best rivalry of the decade. I mean, you're

completely wrong. Are you trying to get our eyes out of me? Because you know it's Steelers-Ravens? I can't tell. Steelers-Ravens? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Steelers-Ravens? The more you repeat it.

This decade, you think Steelers-Ravens is the best rivalry? No, I don't think. I know. That is absurd. What do you think it is? Dolphins Patriots? One Super Bowl appearance between the two of them. Tom Brady and his blood boy?

One PD scandal between the two of them. House. I don't have a dog in this fight. I think Seattle San Francisco has been the best one because they've had probably the most good games against each other. The Pete Carroll, Jim Harbaugh years were special. They were really good.

And now we have, of course, the Richard Sherman factor. Do you remember? I remember writing a piece for Grantland about it was a huge Breaking Bad. Game of Thrones, I think, were on at the same time. But then it was like week two or three and it was Niners, Seahawks, and it was all at the same time. But then it was like week two or three and it was Niner Seahawks and it was all at the same time. Do you remember this? Not really, but vaguely? It was like, it was just this weird stretch where Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones were against each other. But then at the same time, Niner Seahawks.

So there's only a couple of years when that could have been. It was 2014 or 2013. 13? 13. That sounds right. Okay. Yeah. that was when i started at grantland yeah but but so that that was when it was the best rivalry at least in that little era and now it's going to be back at least for this year yeah i mean this is an incredible game the problem with the pats is the pats have never really had a rival it was supposed to be the steelers but the steelers just't. It was the Colts for a little bit. The Steelers just weren't man enough to hang in with us, unfortunately.

This is just so exhausting. And then the Ravens, like, I mean, you definitely punted on that rivalry, unfortunately. You watched football on Sunday night, right? I did. I'm glad you finally won one. Against us. I am ready for you to throw it back in my face in the playoffs, but it won't bother me. It won't faze me at all.

I'm delighted right now. And you cannot take that away from me. Kaia was with me. I don't think I can overstate how nonplussed I was that the Patriots lost a regular season game. Again, it's not about the Patriots. We'll see you in the playoffs. It's about validation and vindication for Lamar Jackson and the Ravens.

Not everything's about the Patriots. I'm glad you feel like you got it in early November. I'm living in the moment. Right now, I'm enjoying life. All I can judge Lamar by is January Lamar when he took a dump for four quarters. You love Lamar. This is performative bullshit. I do love Lamar.

I do love Lamar. Now he's on my corner. I won a seventh Super Bowl. It's very important to Kyle. Yeah, I was fucked up last week. Kyle was upset. Kyle's going to be rooting for the Seahawks now. Kyle wanted the undefeated season.

Kyle's rooting for the Seahawks. The Edelman fumble killed us. They have Josh Gordon now, and he loves Metcalf. He's a Seahawks fan. But Jimmy does love Metcalf. This is a big game for you with Jimmy on the other side. I can't wait to see the Nick Bosa Russ matchup. It's going to be incredible.

That is just phenomenal. It's going to be incredible. I almost took the Seahawks plus six for a million dollar picks and decided not to because I think there's a version in this game where the Niners just kill them.

I agree. Do you? Yeah. I also think there's a version of this game where it's the Russell Wilson is the best player in this game game. And I think I honestly think it's a game like stay away.

I could see either scenario going. The Kittle injury is a big question. How bad is the knee? How healthy will he be? And then I think I think the question for the Niners defense is with the the Quan Alexander injury. Like, how does that change the composition of the defense? That's it. That's big for them.

I still think they're an obviously outstanding football team. The Brita-Coleman combo. Also, they get their O-line health back this week. Yeah, they got their O-lines better. The Brita-Coleman combo, there's just so much speed with them. It's kind of relentless. It's just like every play, there's another guy who's hitting the corner at running a

4-2. And right now, the Seahawks can't generate a pass rush. Right. Onza's not doing it. They're double-teaming Clowney. So can they break through that? Pressure Jimmy. Itks can't generate a pass rush. Right. Onza's not doing it. They're double teaming Clowney. So can they break through that pressure, Jimmy? It's going to be a fun game. The other thing with the Seahawks that would worry me if I was a Seahawks fan. Well, you said no pass rush. Weird, like coaching, you know, last two minutes of the first half,

like doing some sort of blowing the last time out when you shouldn't. Like Pete Carroll's, some of that stuff starting to happen with them. And then they'll put the ball on the ground is the other thing. Yeah. Carson won't put the ball on the ground. You can get the ball from him. That's part of what's really fun about this. This game in particular, this matchup is the coaching style contrast between Carroll and

Shanahan. That old school, school, new school, really conservative versus really aggressive. I'm looking forward to seeing that. And the pass rush will be if it's like a 30 to 10 type of Niners win. I feel like it'll be the pass rush. I mean, Bosa is unbelievable. The way to get Wilson is just

where he doesn't even have a chance to do his little fucking stuff he does. I really like Metcalf. We talked about him last week. I think he's emerged into a real weapon for them. He's incredible. I think the case for the Seahawks is respect for Russell Wilson. Absolutely.

That's it, which sometimes can backfire in games like this where you're like, oh man. He doesn't even have three seconds. So far this season, the defense hasn't been up to it. They let the Falcons back in last week. I don't think their defense is good. I agree. This is the thing.

This is that. And so the question marks with Kittles. Yeah. Kittles. Kittles and bits? Yes. You mean Kittle? You know what I mean.

This is groggy. It's getting hot in here. Exactly. Plus, I woke up at five in the morning East Coast. That's the only thing that would scare me away. But I agree that it's a stay away, betting-wise. We didn't bet it this week.

All right. Mallory's most intriguing. Pleasure as always. Delightful to be here with you. You can listen to House on House of Carbs. We had this week, You Suck at Cooking, the wildly popular

YouTube videos, instructional videos by a guy who just wants you to cook simply and enjoy yourself doing it with some fun songs and kind of a funny sense of humor it sounds like you can get him for the cast of load management too well he would be it would be a disembodied penis because he never shows his face he's anonymous so it'd be an anonymous yeah i mean anonymous yeah yeah exactly you can do some eyes wide shut.

Oh, I like this. I'm into that. Let's get out of this. What about the ice cream? Thanks, House of Mallory. Jenny's ice cream in the bathtub. Thanks so much to State Farm. Thanks to House of Mallory. Thanks to the Book of Basketball 2.0 podcast,

which you can listen to on Apple or Spotify or Google or wherever you want to get your favorite new podcast. Coming up with another one late Monday night. Be ready for that. Thanks to LaCroix Sparking Water. Refreshment, flavor, sparkle with an innocent twist of zero calories,

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feelings within on the wayside I don't have