The Bill Simmons Podcast - Go Ahead, Bury The Pats. Plus: the Three Allens, Freddie Soup, and the N.Y. Pooper Bowl With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: November 4, 2019

HBO and The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss Lamar Jackson and the Ravens handing the Patriots their first loss of the season, the Browns being unable to get out of their own way against the Broncos, and Raiders-Lions, Eagles-Bears, Texans-Jaguars, and more (4:40), before guessing the NFL lines for Week 10 (47:05). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tonight's episode of the BS Podcast, taped with a heavy heart. The undefeated season is no more for the New England Patriots, but that's all right. It's brought to you by State Farm. Just like football, life can be unpredictable. Like when the Pats give up 37 points on a Sunday night, that's unpredictable. That's why State Farm agents are there to help. And with over 19,000 agents, a local State Farm agent could be just around the block. Whether you talk in person, by phone, or through the app, State Farm is there. So go with the one

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content this week. Lots of free content. Coming up, the cuz because first our friends from Pearl Jam, I went to Flea's charity event. He started the Silver Lake Conservatory of Music. I don't know how many years ago, but it's this awesome music school in Hollywood, in Silver Lake. And every year they have a charity benefit. And this year the Red Hot Chili Peppers played, which was no surprise because they play every year because it's Flea's band.

But they also had Eddie Vedder. And Eddie Vedder came out. It was just him and sang a bunch of songs. And then Josh from the Red Hot Chili Peppers came out and they did the song that you just heard. They did the acoustic version of it. It was very cool. And then Eddie sang Better Man with,

with I think six or eight students from the school. And it was awesome. I'm going to put it on Instagram. I'm trying to figure out how to put Instagram videos, that IGTV thing where you can put in there longer than a minute, but I'm just old. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. By the way, we had the head of Instagram, Adam Mosseri. And in that podcast,

I joked about how I had to be in the top 10 for 50-year-old Instagram people. And here's the list he sent. Because I was like, I have to be in the top 10. I have 305,000 followers. Who has more than that? He said, outside of politicians, here's who has more than that. Michael Douglas, Pierce Brosnan,

Alec Baldwin, David Spade, Bob Saget, Ron Howard, James Gunn, Sly Stallone, and then he said Arnold Schwarzenegger

if he counts. I don't know if Arnold Schwarzenegger if he counts. I don't know if Arnold Schwarzenegger counts. We're not even sure if he's human. So those are nine people. So I think that puts me in the top 10 for the over 50. I'm in the senior bracket. I might have to work on this. I feel like I should be able to catch Ron Howard.

What does he do? What's he going to do? Tweet about movies he's directing? I can beat Ron Howard. He's going to tweet old pictures of him in the fonts? Are we talking Instagram or Twitter here? Instagram. Okay.

What? I can't beat him? Oh, I said tweet? Yeah, see? This is what happens in the senior bracket. You can't even remember if it's Instagram or Twitter. All right, let's call the cuz. All right, cuz and Sal on the line,

as he is every Sunday night throughout the football season. I'm going to start here, Cuz. Please, America, bury the Patriots. Do it. Do it over the next 24 hours. Get your shovels out. Get the dirt. Put it right on them.

Talk about how they're done. It's a new era. Baltimore, Kansas City, please. We need it. The Patriots need it. We need the doubt. We need the dirt kicked on us. Bring it on.

That's my take. I don't like this. Yeah, you like that? You're way too chipper. I don't like this at all. No, I like it. We needed some doubt. The whole thing about it was just the best defense ever, all this stuff.

It's all bad. That's not how the Pats work. We're a come from behind. People are doubting us. It's all bad. That's not how the Pats work. We're a come from behind. People are doubting us. Chip on our shoulder. Kind of franchise and a fan base. We don't like to be 8-0. That's where I stand. You can say that and I know you don't believe it

because really the only thing left to do is to go undefeated and now that's snatched from you. So what are you going to do? We will throw a little dirt on you if that's the case. Wasn't happening with this offensive line. I'm sorry. This was not a 16-0 offensive line. But I thought the Ravens played really well.

I got to hand it to them. They had a good game plan. Came out swinging. Took a lead. Survived a couple dumb turnovers. Got a really big stop near the end of the first half. And I actually thought that was the key to the game. And Nephew Kyle can can vouch we were

very upset that they didn't go for it on fourth down with 10 seconds left that did seem like very unpatriots football right there not going for it I still don't like that whole thing with the foot touches him and everything I don't think they would have called it a touchdown anyway for James White but he was as close very close to the goal line as you could possibly have been which makes you think tb12 is sticking his uh pretty head in the end zone like we've seen so many times yeah tie it and then you get the ball so that seems weird but you're right the ravens did they played patriots football really they had long drives those crossing routes underneath were a disaster for the patriots to defend um what else They got you to jump off sides, negating the field goal attempt,

and they went for it. There was a hands to the face on third down. It just seems like everything that other teams do against the Patriots, and then the fumble six, of course, which was huge. Dumb penalties. Good for the Ravens. Dumb penalties, a couple turnovers, and it actually seemed like they were ready to have a blowout.

And then Cyrus Jones, former Pats second-round pick, terrible for us, awful. Can't remember one good Cyrus Jones moment, and he fumbles the ball back to us, and all of a sudden it's 17-7, here we go. And I was on five different Pats threads talking about how we were going to remember this as the Cyrus game. Right.

Thank God for Cyrus. He finally did something. After all these years, that pick paid off. We made every joke possible. And the reality is if he just catches that punt, it could have been 24-0 because the Pat's D was on the field for a while. I think it would be a mistake to over overreact

on either side in this game because I do feel like I do feel like the Pats offensive line is going to look a little different two months from now. Sure, yeah. And if you're the Ravens, you're not like, well, this means we can go there in January and win and it's going to be just as easy because they know it's not. But they're

pulling away from the rest of the division and solidifying themselves as the top three in the conference, wouldn't you say? Which is pretty good. Yeah. I could totally see a Ravens-Chiefs-AFC title game. Oh, stop it. No, I could. You see what you're doing?

No, I could. I'm saying they're doing a nice job for positioning, potentially for that bye. I could see it. That nice bye next to the Patriots. Could happen. And you have to make a wise remark. Unbelievable. I could see it. That nice bye next to the Patriots. Could happen. And you have to be, you have to make a wise remark. Unbelievable. It could happen.

I just, you know, maybe I'll have to pour some dirt. Maybe I'll chip in. Brady had some bad throws today. Looked old. You were, you know, it's Halloween week

and you were scared when Al Michaels put that Stranger Things graphic up with the nine quarterback or the eight quarterbacks you played who don't belong in the league

and then you got Dak and you got Wentz and Mahomes. You know, the upside down world. It got to you a little bit. Here's the thing. When they do the eight quarterbacks who all suck that the Patriot played, thank all the quarterbacks suck. There's like five good quarterbacks.

Do you guys watch football every Sunday? Three guys named Allen won today. Yeah. This is what the league is teaming with good quarterbacks? Right. It's ridiculous. You got some tough ones coming up, though. I kept my streak alive this morning

because I forgot for the 70-100th straight time that there was a London game. Oh, really? Yeah, I did again. Between the daylight savings and all of a sudden there's football going on I had no idea

but it does look like G Minshew if we're going to talk about the big takeaways from Sunday I think G Minshew it might be coming to an end

when Foles gets back I know it's sad it's too bad it was a fun run when we had it I think Lamar definitely answered whatever questions

I don't know why anybody would have had questions about him anymore but I thought that was I think Lamar definitely answered whatever questions. I don't know why anybody would have had questions about him anymore, but I thought that was an important day for him. And then I think the Trubisky thing finally ended today. It seems like, right? Yeah. Well, one more thing with Lamar, the one stat that you might be a little annoyed about is that the,

the scrambling quarterbacks. Now I don't know how many scrambling quote, I guess, Josh Allen, you play Josh Allen before Lamar Jackson. But eight yards per scramble, which is one of the highest in the leagues, to give up defensively. So I don't know how you work on that. But you're right. What else are we talking about?

Oh, I'm sorry. Real quick, with the London game, here's what they should do. I did the thing where I put the no volume on, so I don't wake the old lady in the morning channel two 12 on direct TV. We got the extra hour to on the West coast. You got the daylight saving. They should turn it ahead an hour. Every London game.

Now I don't care. I don't know if this screws up the farmers or something. Our crops are going to be rotten or whatever, but it really was nice gaining the hour and watching a London game. And now I feel refreshed at a, what time is it? 10 o'clock. Yeah. This is, this is really the latest we've ever taped this podcast. I feel like, cause it's the extra hour in there and we're starting late anyway. You know, going against Lamar is pretty frightening. I've been on Lamar's side. He's my fantasy QB in every league. And I always get to just root for him. And I don't think I've ever been in a situation where I had to root against him.

He definitely, he just pulls plays out of his ass. And I mean that as a compliment, where you feel like you had him. And then you don't have him. That he's moving away and doing stuff. I didn't feel like he was that crisp in this game. I thought he missed some throws, but I thought his athleticism was pretty great. Yeah, he had a couple of overthrows in there,

but I go at it with, it really is like, whatever graphic you want to show to demonstrate a quarterback is good or bad, you could use that. That QBR does not work for Lamar Jackson. So if you want to prove like oh listen he's a fly-by-night quarterback you you show his qbr which actually happened to be the same as brady's just about going into this game but well let's see what he does on does the qbr matter in

that first drive where he kept the lot drive alive and yeah and used his legs to get multiple first down so it's very it's very fox news versus cnn in terms of what you want to use to demonstrate whether or not someone is an elite quarterback. Yeah, and the third and fours and the third and threes feel just so much more intimidating with him. Because you don't know if he's going to keep it. If he drops back, it just seems like in a snap of a finger, he can scramble for five yards. And Ingram seems faster than anyone anyway. So that's weird.

Yeah. I thought after that first drive, I actually didn't mind how the Pats played on defense. I thought they had some really dumb penalties. Right. But for the most part, they were able to keep Lamar in front of them. They tipped some balls. There was a couple of back-breaking plays. Like Andrews caught a huge pass.

Right. I've watched a lot of Ravens games this year. That guy drops everything. This is the one time he held onto it. Hollywood made one big play. I thought Ingram was really good. I've never been a giant Ingram fan, but I thought he was,

he was pretty sneaky as well, but that's also a team, you know, if they get a 10 point lead, they just have a different swagger to them. Which I think could probably go for a lot of teams. Listen, no one's pouring dirt on you. No, pour dirt.

I want you to. I just want Coach Belichick. Maybe just don't schedule Coastal Carolina every week. Put some good teams on that schedule. That's up to him, right? I just want Steve Belichick to get more attention. Oh, yeah. He's great, isn't he?

It's a borderline mullet, right? Like, what's missing from him? What would you add? A little mustache? Like a wispy mustache? Yeah. Tell him to grab Gene Minshew's mustache. I think that's the way to do it.

He should dress like he's in a pit crew. I think that would help him. He's got like a very NASCAR-y kind of vibe. Yeah, get a fire suit. So what should rank the AFC teams for me now? Would you have Pats 1 still? You know what? I'm going to go.

All right. I'll put your Patriots first. That's fine. Even though I really do have a question. Are we sure they're good is in play at this point? But I'll put them first. Whatever. And then I'm going to put Mahomes as chief second.

I'm going to put the team we saw second. I'm going to put the team. We saw it tonight. Ravens third and the Texans fourth. Well, it might be a rock paper scissors thing with them because as we talked about pretty much this whole season, their secondary is awesome. And against that Ravens team, if they're going to stack the backfield like that,

you can't play six defensive backs or even five. And they're just, the Ravens were forcing them to put more guys on the field. You know, that all of a sudden you start to get to the average dudes versus like this absolutely loaded secondary that is just begging for you to throw in them. Yeah. And, uh, you know, I'm sure they'll figure it out before the next time they played, but it was, it was all the worst case scenario fears for this game

were realized in that first drive. Kyle did a lot of like moaning. It looked like- He did? Yeah, Kyle was acting like if you're on a hike with somebody and they get bit by a rattlesnake and then you have to get them back to civilization. He's just going, oh, man.

A lot of groaning. He's very upset. How many times did he say, I told you we needed Josh Gordon? He did. He did point out that we, yeah, this is the first big game we've lost without Josh Gordon, who then signed with the Seahawks, which is very conflicting. Yeah. Pete Carroll getting him.

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Terms apply. So some weird things about today. Every home team covered, not counting the London game. Harry said it was the parlay paid what? $1,200 to one? Yeah, actually, Brother Bryce said $ said that 1200 and like 1140, one was a money line and one was just, just picking the,

by the spread 1140 and 1200 to one. That doesn't seem like it happens every 30 years, right? It seems like it happens more often than that. That was the last time it happened 30 years ago. Well, if you go 1200 to one, like why would that pay?

I don't know. Yeah. You're right. Every favorite on us soil. Well um well i'm sorry every home team on u.s soil won and covered today tucker missed a pat that they replayed and couldn't tell whether it was good or not because it went over the upright and then they even had like a laser line showing the ball going the over the upright. And do you want to just imitate Corolla's reaction in his living room by himself or no? There was a worse one in Oakland and here's how much worse it was. First of all, these things, okay, from our

perspective, looking at it, they're coming from left to right on the right goalpost. So maybe they do go over, but it sure as hell would have hit the extended pole, and then we don't know. There's too many that would have hit the pole. But anyway, this one went left to right. It looked like it was in. The Raiders kicker's celebrating. He does the thing with the headbutts,

his teammates softly and everything. I was like, he doesn't know that they called it no good. Oh, my God. It's unbelievable. Well, Carolla, he keeps saying, why can't we make the uprights higher? And I don't, I've never really heard the answer. Is it a health hazard? They did raise it a little bit.

And then he's like, keep raising it. Raise it as far as it wants to go. Hit the heavens. What do we care how far you raise it? No safe spaces for these uprights. That's right. I don't know. Is it a visibility thing for seats? I hate to think that's the case. Are we allowed to name drop Corolla anymore? Is he too polarizing? Why not? I don't want to offend the woke generation.

The Freddy Soup is my new nickname for Freddy Kitchen. Soup Kitchen, yeah. Now he's just Freddy Soup. And guess what? It's one of the worst tasting soups you'll ever taste. Yeah, it really is. It's really bad. It's lukewarm.

There's stuff in it. There might have been a, it's like a bone. You're not sure. Is it a chicken bone? Is it a human bone? What is it? They are just such a hot mess. They do some of the dumbest things.

They had this huge sequence in the second half today in the Denver game. It was like, what was it? Third and four, Kyle? Yep. When I was like, and I'm going against you in fantasy. I have Nick Chubb, who Freddy Soup is just icing at this point. And he brings in the other guy, the guy who's not nearly as good as Nick Chubb. What's that guy's name? Oh, 25. 25. 25, a.k.a. guy who's not as good as Nick Chubb. So he's in.

Inside run. Guess what? Doesn't get it because he's not even 20% as good as Nick Chubb. Gets tackled. Fourth and one. What does Freddie do? Ah, let's go for it. Nope.

Another terrible run on the line and turn the, and, and turn the ball over. That was that. They're a mess of a team. I mean, imagine going into Denver, another Allen quarterback, like you said, Brandon,

uh, he's throwing deep against them. Is that, he's not even doing the, the, the backup quarterback thing where he checks down for the first three and a half quarters, throwing deep and connecting against this,

uh, secondary once again, 40 yard, 40 plus yards and penalties. I think they had a bunch. And like, for the first three and a half quarters. He's throwing deep and connecting against his secondary. Once again, 40 plus yards and penalties, I think. They had a bunch. And like you said, 0 for 2 on fourth down. Just a disaster of a team. I don't want to look at... Everyone's looking at their schedule like, oh, they have it easy.

Look at the quarterbacks they play the rest of the way. They're definitely going to be 8-8. No, not the case. There's not one definite win on this schedule going forward. I promise you. They are the worst coach team in the league. Yep. They are an abomination.

They are hilarious. They provoke outright laughter from myself and anyone else I'm in the room with when they're on. They do the dumbest things I've ever seen. The classic was the fourth down play today where Baker goes back to pass. It was basically do or die fourth down. Waits a beat and then, of course,

throws it in a double coverage to Jarvis Landry, who's not even... To say he was double covered was an understatement. He basically had just two guys on his back. And then they show the replay of Odell just dusting somebody on the left side. And he's wide open with his hand raised. Baker doesn't even look for him. Yeah, I know the Baker

thing is a big conversation right now. And I hate to usher ourselves into the sports hot take cycle. I don't really get it, the Baker thing. It seems like he's very good at one specific task, which is hand... Shotgunning a beer. No,

they get, gets the snap, either fakes the hand off and throws it or hands off. But if anything happens in a second, second half, two seconds, he's actually pretty good. If it's like, I'm either going to do this or this, these are my two options. The longer the play goes, the worse he is. If it's a seven second play, he's awful. If it's a five second play, he's not going to do this or this. These are my two options. The longer the play goes, the worse he is. If it's a seven second play, he's awful. If it's a five second play, he's not going to be that good. The Jarvis play was a good example.

Right. The more time you give him, I don't, I don't think he's very good. I really don't. I don't get it with him. You mentioned Trubisky earlier. I'm trying to think like they both had good years last year and like what the

hell happened. And, but especially with Baker. Now the supporting cast is is there he's got all the shiny toys uh yeah landry obj chubb is excellent we know that didn't have a great game today we didn't get the ball out there and say what did he say midweek like hey if you like my passion when we're winning you gotta like it when we're losing too like uh you're never really winning i'm i didn't like that passion when you were middling or in the off season when you're ch really winning. I didn't like that passion when you were middling or in the off season when you're chugging beers

and doing all this other stuff that doesn't have anything to do with being a quarterback. So I'm consistent with the passion thing. Try to win first. Yeah, he was 27 for 42 today for 273, which looks okay. A little deceiving because Odell had a couple of big plays, but when you're actually watching him,

there's something missing and I can't totally put my finger on it, but he's the opposite of how I feel about when Lamar's moving around and you're like, Oh no, Oh, he's going to do something. Right. Baker.

It's I, I don't blame him though, because I don't feel like he's in the right offense. It's all bad. Yeah, that offensive line's bad. Everything about it is wrong for him. But I will say this. I saw this is the most damning Baker stat.

I believe this is right. 2-10. He's 2-10 when he attempts 35 or more passes. 35 or more is not a lot in 2019. Yeah. That's 60 passes. That was bad. What was that stat today, Kyle?

The fourth quarter stats? Oh, it was like all zeros. No, he had zero TDs and six picks in the fourth quarter? Correct. Man. And they were like, the announcer's going, I mean, you don't want to say that means something, but that kind of means something.

It is a very important quarter. Like, yeah, it is. Fourth quarter is pretty important. Usually. I don't know what the Venn diagram lets out here, but can this poor city,

can this poor cursed franchise have one of a good quarterback or good coach at any point in the last 20 years? Can they do that? It's not just whether they can have a good coach. Like, can they not have an awful coach? Yeah. Right.

Arguably Greg Williams is probably the best coach that you complain about. Jason Garrett, he would be the best Browns coach in the last 20 years. Let's, let's test it. Let's say you should, you should try to trade up there. Be great.

Well, I don't think we have to worry about the old, uh, Cleveland Browns anymore would be, would be one of my takes. All right. More from today. The Raiders.

We've been talking about this and predicting it. That they were this sneaky, don't be surprised if this team somehow gets in the playoffs as well. Wonder what the fuck happened. They're 4 and four. They survived what seemed to be a certain game-tying Lions drive. Yeah. That the Lions,

Matt Patricia, talk, Matt Patricia, his destiny is to coach the Browns. It'd be like the beams crossing Ghostbusters. But they somehow don't get in.

The clock's ticking. It's under 10 seconds. The Lions are scrambling. This is like the absolute worst case scenario where you go for the touchdown, you don't get it. And then somebody in the Raiders calls timeout. Well, Gruden did, right?

You don't think it was Gruden? I thought it was a player. I don't think it was Gruden because they cut to Gruden and it honestly looked like his head was going to explode. Yeah, okay. Well, he always looks like that. No, I like it honestly looked like his head was going to explode. Like you could see. Well, he always looks like that. No, I mean, he really looked like he was going to freak out. He was trying to stay calm.

I think one of the players did. I mean, unless you have the wrong personnel on the field, which I don't think they did. It's a bad, bad timeout because the Lions could they were going to get the snap off in time, but one false start and the game's over, right? They still have to rush up there. If someone moves, the guard moves, flinches the game's over, right? They still have to rush up there. If someone moves, the guard moves, flinches, the game's over.

But they got lucky anyway. Yeah, or at least wait five more seconds to call the timeout because they weren't anywhere close to snapping anyway. So then they come out of that. They change packages and went to this like, what was it, like a three tight end package? They took out their two receivers, including Galladay, who was killing everybody, and ended up throwing to their third three tight end package. They took out their two receivers, including Galladay, who was killing everybody,

and ended up throwing to their third string tight end, who I'd never heard of. Yeah, it was bad. I think about this, and put the money aside, because these guys, and especially Stafford, makes a ton, especially on his last deal. But whose career? You look at Stafford, you look at Rivers,

if they were both to retire now Now you have one hug to give. Who do you give it to? Rivers. You give it to rivers, huh? Yeah. I think rivers has been better. I just think his ceiling's a little higher.

You, you think Stafford's better than rivers? I don't know. I just feel like there's a little bit of a curse surrounding both of them. And, um, I, I, I'd give rivers a hug anyway, because he has like, uh, 17 kids. don't know i just feel like there's a little bit of a curse surrounding both of them and um i i'd give rivers the hug anyway because he has like uh 17 kids and you probably get pregnant yeah yeah oh that's true yeah i didn't even think about that but oh they both seem like the same like

like it's just seeking out a signature win right forever well this this Lions season, they turned the Cardinals win into a tie. They're up 18. Right. They beat the Chargers in that goofy game in week two that they never should have won. They lose to the Chiefs by four. They blow that Packers game. They lose to them by one. And then the Raiders game, it felt like that game was going overtime.

So right now their record is three four and one they're basically out of the playoffs i would say yeah and especially in that division yeah more and more tough games to come and and a lot of it was because of just what happened in the last five minutes of yeah the whatever you uh well and a lot of it might have been you know nephew kyle filled in uh on my podcast producing my podcast i asked asked him at the beginning, I was like, give me a pick. You have an hour to think about it while we make fun of Harry here. Give me a pick, your best bet. His best bet was a line.

His $3 million pick, he called it. I was like, oh, that's a little gutsy. If that's a flag, though, who knows? If that's a flag, who knows? $3 million, you said Detroit Lions. Well, we have. Is that why you were rooting for them so hard today? Oh, I didn't realize. I thought you had like bet somebody. So the NFC, the Niners are

eight. No saints, seven and one Packers, seven and two Seahawks, seven and two. I mean, you can almost pencil those four in. And then after that you have Vike six and three Rams and Panthers five and three. And then somebody out of CowEagles has to make it from your division. Detroit, I don't see it. I don't see how they would get in. I was hoping Carolina would go away. I was hoping Seattle would go away, but Seattle could very well be the best team,

if not the best team, the toughest out. I mean, for God's sakes, you went against Hustle and Bustle, Mad Muscle Wilson. He was my quarterback. I crushed you in fantasy, sakes, you went against Hustle and Bustle, man. Hustle Wilson, he was my quarterback. I crushed you in fantasy, but is there any stopping this guy? You knew they were going to score a touchdown in overtime, right? It seems like they're trying to pad his stats

too for the MVP. Have you noticed that? They're inside the five, and it's like always he's trying to throw touchdowns down. Now, it's also the smartest thing for them to do because he's awesome, but he does have a very it seems like he has a very high percentage of he has touches near the end zone and now he's got this jacob hollister who is a patriots yeah he's going to be the biggest ad this week in any fantasy uh league

but um yeah i mean between metcalf and all these guys it's uh it's crazy how how efficient that offense is well the good news is the Patriots have a gaping hole at pass receiving tight end. Now that guy's on Seattle with Josh Gordon. Can we do some cross-offs? Yeah, I think we can do a lot. Washington, Atlanta? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Giants? Sure, yeah. That's three. Tampa Bay, two and six? Yeah. They're fun, but they're done. They're fun, but-

I bet Jameis, I think I texted you in-house to throw an interception today, minus 175. He did not, and I think it was the first time since sixth grade organized football that he did not throw an interception. But he did do the thing where he went to throw the ball and he just, the ball just, he just went out of his hand and got recovered. That's true. Yeah, it bounced and we got returned. I'm crossing them off because they would have to win

eight straight to make the playoffs and that's not happening. The Bears? Three and five? Yeah. This was the last week I was giving them. I'm not crossing them off yet because I still feel like if they change quarterbacks, who knows? Well, you like what you saw. It was just very strange. They had one first down in the first half against the Eagles today, and that was by a penalty.

That was a defensive hold or something that got them the first down. Then they, I don't know, was the Eagles complacent or what? But they were, they started to pick it up. They did all right. But I don't know. I think the Trubisky truthers are folding their tents right now. It's got to be over. Yeah. I've heard feedback the last couple

weeks that the Trubiskyholics, it's not even, it's really Trubiskyholics Anonymous at this point. Yeah. You've already hit rock bottom and now you're just trying to get your life back together I think

that's where we are we can't find these people anymore no they're not there's like three of them they're gone I think they've given up I think everybody

who roots for the Bears probably feels like they stuck with them a week too long for some reason I can't give up on them though you know their points scored and

against is 142 to 144 yeah I saw. That's weird. I'm not giving up. There's always a weird 3-5 team that makes a late charge. Now you could argue it's going to be the LA Chargers who are 2-5 and now they're 4-5. Alright, so I'm not

ready to cross them off yet. Arizona 3-5-1 and Detroit 3-4-1. We can't totally cross off yet, but I'm mentally ready to do it. I think Arizona is a tough predicament. They're okay to why they're fun. They were gutty against San Francisco this week, but that division, they're just going to knock the hell out of each other, right?

Those top three, they don't want to make it in the worst way. You want to cross them off? My virtue would just be in that division. They're in trouble. Cross off? I would say so, yeah. Because what do they have to go? They would have to go.

Yeah, they'd have to go. They'd have to win seven or ten, five and one. Yeah. All right, so we're crossing off Washington, Atlanta, Tampa, New York, and Arizona. We'll keep the other two alive for now. In the AFC, we're crossing off Cincinnati. The New York Jets, who I want to talk about in a second.

Oh, not so fast. The Miami Dolphins. Cleveland Browns, 2-6, crossing off. And then Denver, 3-6. I don't feel like we can cross off a 3-6 team in the AFC because 9-7 might make it. Okay. I just, I don't feel like we can cross off a three and six team in the AFC because nine and seven might make it. Okay.

I just, I don't know. That's asking a lot of this kid to, to win six, six out of seven. Right. You mean Allen number three? Yeah.

Byron Allen. I'm not ready to cross them off. So we have, we have nine crossoffs, which is perfect because it's week nine. Okay. Oh yeah. That's what we try to do on a, which is perfect because it's week nine. Okay. Oh yeah, that's what we try to do on a week.

Yeah. Let's take a break. Hey, let's face it. Guys are terrible at taking care of their health. I include myself. Studies show 70% of guys who experience rectal dysfunction

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For a free online visit, go to getroman.com slash bill. Okay, we're doing guest lines in a second. Wanted to do a couple tweets I saw from Louis K. Remember him? I know him. Remember him? couple tweets I saw from Lewis K remember him remember him once upon a time Adam Kroos PR guy yeah yeah yeah that's right

he tweeted we are only two months away from the inevitable Bills at Texans early Saturday playoff game aka the Shakey's Classic should we just pencil

those two in now Bills at Texans is 4-5 yeah cause AKA the Shakey's Classic. Should we just pencil those two in now? Bills at Texans is four or five. Yeah, because I mean, it's now time to talk about Jacoby going down. Yeah, it is. I mean, your million dollar pick takes a real hit. Like you're going to have to either cancel the segment or we'll start watching another team.

We make the million dollar pick on Thursday. TY goes out seven hours later, and then Jacoby hurts his knee in the first quarter. And yet they still had a shot. Like, Hoyer came out on fire. Well, they missed the two-point. That would have had them go up three with four minutes left. And then all of a sudden,

I'm drawing a blank on who they played. Well, Benettiere's miss was 15 yards off. It was tough. Well, that was terrible. But I mean, I felt like if they had gotten the two- Well, Benettiere's miss was 15 yards off. It was tough. Well, that was terrible. But I mean, I felt like if they had gotten the two point, they would have been up by three. And who knows at that point. Then Pittsburgh comes back down.

They get a big play to Washington. But yeah, Pittsburgh kind of quietly four and four. Yeah, and they were one and four. And I think it's a testament to good coaching. I think Tomlin's good. You love Tomlin. He's going to be underrated all said and done. They could have lost two games in six days.

They could have lost to the Dolphins Monday. Not that it's a great achievement beating them, but they look dead to rights against the Dolphins. And then today, they look bad against the Colts. Same kind of thing. And Minka Fitzpatrick is sort of making everyone look stupid that crapped on that trade. I think everybody liked the trade.

Nobody understood why they didn't lottery protect the pick. Right. But now it doesn't matter because there's no way it's going to be a top five pick. You love Mike Tomlin. Three interceptions since Monday. I have a theory about you and Mike Tomlin. Me and Mike Tomlin. Go ahead.

I think the Fox bosses said, hey, if Mike Tomlin ever gets fired, we're dumping Clay Travis and replacing Mike Tomlin. So be nice to him on the BS podcast. You think that's an equitable replacement there? It's, it's definitely interesting. There's definitely a two, two disparate characters.

Right. So Bill's at Texans at Shakey's? Can you see it? So, that's the 4-5. It's funny because I was looking at it. And we've been talking for weeks, who the hell is the 6 seed in the AFC? And we can go over that. Pittsburgh at Houston would be the 6-3s.

But you think it'd be Bills at Texans would be the game. I don't know. I just like the thought of Josh Allen against the Texans, who at that point would have like Deshaun Watson Hopkins and nobody else you've ever heard of. Cause everyone else would be hurt. And it would just be Deshaun pulling, pulling wins at us.

Yeah. You're not falling for Carlos Hyde's 160 yards, huh? You think that's a, not a Carlos guy. You're a Carlos guy. Cause you had a one, had a dog named Carlos.

I did. I did. Carlos O'Brien named after the bar my wife and I met at in Mexico. And that's not even a lie. Here's a tweet from your Fox colleague Skip Bayless. Matt Moore beats Kirk Cousins as I predicted on Undisputed.

I'm certainly not saying Moore is better than Mahomes, but the Chiefs are playing with more spirit and fight than they did for Mahomes who lost his last two home games first of all incredible tweet really good it's like a real dig at Mahomes but not really and he's not saying Matt Moore

is better than him is Matt Moore better than Pat Mahomes? Let's start there I don't think he you don't think so? I don't know 25 for 35 275 no he's not better he's not better no no i won't say i won't say that i agree with skip he's not better i think i agree with skip they've shown more spirit and fight with matt moore than pat mahomes the best player in the league i do i don't know why they won that game I know you were checking in on that either

I know Harrison Bunker made two giant field goals at the end but it seemed everything has to be right for it all to click at 80% even Thielen goes out, he re-aggravates the hamstring injury

and they're just kind of done that's their Cooper Cup player that's going to keep them alive on on third and seven and push some drives and they didn't have them and they didn't do much yeah but you also that shouldn't mean you lose the game that's like yeah he's really good and it's a bad sign when he goes out but that's where kirk cousins should earn some of his 30 million what's he making now it a lot. It's a lot of money. It's not a small sum. I've always liked Matt Moore.

And by the way, he's back to 500 for his career. Unbelievable. Yeah. Mr. Mediocre himself, Matt Moore. He's just hanging out. Well, now it's over. Now Mahomes comes back and we find out if he is, in fact, better than Matt Moore.

When we were growing up, Don Strzok was like the ultimate backup QB. And then it was eventually Frank Reich, right? Dolphins, right? Yeah. The guys who could come in and they are actually like pretty good. And you didn't totally understand why they weren't starters. I feel like Matt Moore and Brian Hoyer have been the two guys.

You're saying like DeBerg is too good to be in that class. Yeah. Cause DeBerg actually was the starter on a playoff team. Okay. Oh, that's right. Yeah. But these, the Matt Moore, Brian Hoyer guys where it's conceivable you could go

9-7 with them. And where, you know, like... Bobby Brister? No, like, Fitzpatrick's not quite as good as those guys, weirdly, because you couldn't go 9-7 with Ryan Fitzpatrick, I don't feel like. No, but he could win four weeks in a row.

True. I looked up with Ryan Fitzpatrick, I don't feel like. No, but he could win four weeks in a row. True. I'd lose something weird like that. True. I looked up the Jets-Colts trade for Sam Darnold. I think we should talk about the Jets really quick. The Jets moved up

from six to three. And Quentin Nelson was in the sixth spot. They also gave up picks 37 and 49 in 2018. And then pick 34 in 2019 because they gave up a future second rounder and that's what it turned out to be. So would you rather have Quentin Nelson 37, 49 and 34 or Sam Darnold? Quentin Nelson, any lineman will tell you any, that that's the only highlight you see out of a lineman anywhere.

Yeah. Is Quentin Nelson, right? So he's going to the hall of fame. I mean, arguably you'd rather have Quentin Nelson than Sam Darnold, just straight up. Yeah.

Arguably. And then they got all those other picks. Skip first, but yeah, I think, I think arguably you would, but I don't, I don't blame that.

That offensive line is so, so miserable. It's the worst in the league. It really is. He's not helping himself out. He's not the most mobile cat back there. Well, then did you see all the gay stuff on the site? Did you see at the end when he was just sitting on the bench?

Oh, yeah. There's this photo of him on his clipboard as the season slipped away. I know a lot of Jets fans, and this is probably the most dismayed they've ever been, is the general vibe I'm getting. Well, I think they had some false hope when they beat the Cowboys, and God bless them. I don't know how they did it. Maybe the Cowboys lose to a better New York team tomorrow,

but they very well could. But they got a little juice juice and then you went in there and slapped them around just like the patriots do yeah and then it's like all right well well let's now we're playing someone we should beat by a touchdown and it wasn't the case they really they went and they crapped the bed now where do you stand on uh flores getting the orange gatorade dumped on him for the win. I love it. They did the tank thing. They traded some of... They traded a couple of his best guys

and they still won. So you think it's because it's an ex-Jet thing. That's why. Yeah. Gase is a Jet. Yeah. I don't know. I just think it's a little early. They're not 0-15. It's embarrassing. Then you got to walk around with like orange sticky stuff on you and it's like, yeah, because you won one out of 10 weeks.15. It's embarrassing. Then you got to walk around with orange sticky stuff on you.

And it's like, yeah, because you won one out of 10 weeks. I think it's dumb. You should lead Lock It In tomorrow with just a 20-minute monologue on how offended you were. We could show highlights now. It's a great little thing now for the show. Should I just show the Gatorade dump over and over on a loop? Over it with Clay Travis's face pasted on

the coach. Do you know what the Bears gave up to take Trubisky? Oh yeah, I know it. They moved up one spot. Who went before him? Now I forget. No, they went from 3-2 and they gave up

67-111 in a 2018 third. Yeah. It's not as bad as I remember it being, but at the same time, nice trade by the Niners. Yeah. No, we, we thought it was a good trade by the Niners. Didn't we? Didn't everybody think?

Yeah. Well, and as it turns out a couple of years later, you want to be the team that traded Mitch Trubisky, not the team that traded for Mitch Trubisky. That's where we've landed on this whole thing. If Mitch Trubisky is being traded, you want to be the one doing the trading,

not the trading of. But it's not even that that they get crushed for. It's that in taking him at number two, they couldn't get Miles Garrett, right? Unless they traded up to one. But they passed on Christian McCaffrey, Patrick Mahomes, Deshaun Watson.

Yeah. Mahomes and Watson, that's a problem, I think. Yeah. Warren Sharp tweeted today that Trubisky has had eight first drives this year because he missed one game. So he started eight games. Not good?

All eight drives they punted. Wow. 0 for 8 on just anything good happening on his first drive. Wow. Well, at least, I mean, he's not turning it over though, right? That's good. It's rough. There's a lot of sad fan bases this year.

I feel like there's an inordinate amount of fan bases just kind of listening to Soundgarden at 2.30 in the morning. Well, then the saddest ones are pouring Gatorades. You don't even know what to think anymore. It's true, the Dolphins. They're just happy they're not the Jets. Right. Would you rather be the Jets or the Giants?

Can I have a day to talk about it, to think about it? Yeah. I think the Giants. I think I'd rather be the Giants as well. Right? I don't know. I think the answer is how much longer is Brady going to be in the league or in the division as far as for the Jets?

Well, there's a lot of rumors he bought a house in Greenwich. And I don't know what that means for his future for whatever team he's playing for. Yeah, and then we hear California. He's coming out here. It's all nonsense. All I know is he's had more

intentional groundings this year than I've ever seen in my life. They really get him for that. For someone who's very protected in every other facet, they don't mind throwing the grounding call his way. Yeah, it's bullshit. It's a weird thing, too, because if the receiver breaks the wrong way, it's not the quarterback's fault. That could be factored in.

Do you think there's a scenario where Adam Vinatieri gets waived this week and then the Patriots pick him up? Oh, no. Of course there is. Of course there is. I don't think you even remember this. You had Antonio Brown on your team this year. Yeah, that's right.

We did. God, that seems like so long ago. Kyle and I were trying to figure out how everyone was going to play. Antonio Brown, Josh Gordon, Edelman. That was this year. Yeah, it was two months ago. Fuck. Kyle was this year. Yeah, it was two months ago. Fuck. I was mad now.

The Vinatieri coming back to the Pats thing, even though he has looked like an 80-year-old man with some of his kicks this year, I would still be more excited for him than Nick Folk. Would you really? Yeah. Yeah. We were trying to get confidence in Nick Folk today,

and Michael started telling a story about how he was kicking in the american what was that league called the american alliance of football or something the american alliance of football he was on the arizona hot cats something like that and he was lining up for a kick and i was like there's got to be somebody better than the guy who was just on the arizona hot cats he said hot cats just as the snap came and i was like this would be kind of funny if he has to follow up the term Hot Cats with, and it's no good.

The Arizona Hot Cats sounds like a porn that like a WWE wrestler would have made in the 1990s. I think they were the Hot Shots, right? The Hot Shots. The Arizona Hot Cats. Maybe that was a porn. So week 10 coming up,

we have six teams on buys, including my beloved New England Patriots, Denver Broncos, and Allen number three. They're on a buy. Deshaun Watson and the 40 guys

on the injured list and your guy Carlos Hyde, they're all on a buy. G Minshew, he's on a buy. Philadelphia, Washington. So there's only 13 games. There's a buy. G. Minshew, he's on a buy. Philadelphia, Washington. So,

only 13 games. There's a lot. There's a lot of good teams we would normally maybe put on in teasers. Philly, New England,

Houston. I would say those are the ones that we're going to miss out on. Well, most shocking, Thursday night, Raiders-Chargers. That's actually a really good game.

And you could make a case that the Chargers might be better than people thought, even though people have been making that case as the case not to give up on the Chargers. But now it's starting to feel like if there's a 3-6, 4-5 team that could make a run, it's probably them. I just don't really understand them. Because we watched them a couple Sunday nights ago and they got crushed at the line of scrimmage. That was one of those things where you have a bet on the

Chargers over the Steelers and you watch three drives and they just got manhandled both sides, offensive, defensively, on line of scrimmage. Like, oh, well, this is a different Chargers team than we used to. Not the 12-4 team we saw last year. But they brought it back. They brought it back today. Bosa and Ingram, they had no answer for them at all.

I was thinking about how dumb sports is sometimes when you have these basically single elimination games and then we have to make all of these grand conclusions for them. Right. And it's like, yeah, the Chargers are four and five, but who knows? If they played their season 10 times, maybe there's a couple of versions where they're six and three or seven and

two or whatever. It just was one of those seasons where nothing went right for them. I do think they have talent, you know, and I think Eckler is really good. They got Gordon going today. They have good receivers. Phil Rivers is good. Derwin James that might be able to get back soon.

They have that incredible home field advantage. Teams go in there. They're just, they're so flustered by the sight of all their own fans. It's like the Packers were, Rodgers was confused the whole game today. No, it was going on. I tweeted this. I said, you know, I felt bad for the Chargers every week they play home. There's a different, you know, they're basically in the press box, the cheeseheads today.

Yeah. Overrun the owner's box. But then you think, oh, my God, 20,000 cheeseheads travel to see this mess. Green Bay had, what, like three first downs halfway through the third quarter? Rodgers was confused because the crowd was filled with Packer fans, but all of them were in shape. He didn't understand it. They were in shape and wearing short-sleeved T-shirts.

I have the Raiders by three over the Chargers. There's no cops custard out here. I had three also. Vegas is on the Chargers here. It's only Raiders by one. Oh. Fun game. I'm going to be there.

Can we make this a loser leaves town match? I think so. Four and four Raiders against the three and five Chargers. I don't see the loser of this game making the playoffs. Or catching the Chiefs, right? Yeah, nobody could really catch the Chiefs. When I went to Lambeau in 2006, we went in the pro shop. they had the jerseys for sale and they had all these sizes and they had a 6XL. Did they really?

Yeah. Oh, no. They had XLs all the way up to 6XL. Wow. And they were selling cheese curds. And those two facts were not unrelated. Sunday marquee game. Speaking of, I think it's this one.

Packers-Panthers in Lambeau. It's a good game, right? Yeah, I guess it is. Yep. Panthers looked awful last week. Horrible. Get the shit kicked out of them. And then they look good this week.

Packers have looked awesome for a few weeks. Looked awful this week. So I don't know what to make of this game. I'm going to say Packers by five and a half. Oh, come on. Don't give me that long lead up and then pick the number exactly. You got it. I said six. Throw this in the teaser bucket or no i would

say i think so but this is is this the is this where we start saying oh my god aaron rogers is doing it to us and this is the second unfolding of the floor and rogers and what's going on with this offense kind of thing is this alan number two is in this game right yeah there's a lot of alans they're going to decide which Allen. They don't have to tell you until Friday. They should just switch all the Allens. So you would take, what do you do right now if Cam Newton's ready to come back and Nick Foles is ready to come back?

I think Foles has a better chance of better case. And what is his case? He won a Super Bowl and we're paying him a ton of money? Yeah, and Minshew hasn't exactly stolen the job you know what he's stolen is money from anyone who bet on him for offensive rookie of the year you know who the offensive rookie of the year is now Josh Jacobs

you know who's coming on your kicker Sly I don't know DK Metcalf that guy has been really good. I've, for some reason, watched a lot of Seahawks this year. He's Kyle's favorite player because Kyle has him in fantasy. Right.

He's become an essential part of their offense. He makes big pressure catches. He makes third down catches with three minutes to go and third and 11 touchdown catches and all kinds of things. That guy's really good. It's hard to believe he's a rookie. I root for that guy. He's not always a rookie.

He was like the fastest rookie on the board and also was supposed to be the, you know, the most developed wide receiver. And yet he slipped and slipped and slipped down the ranks and wasn't taken to like, it was like the fifth number five wide receiver. So yeah, I root for him. Well, he was supposed to be like the combine guy who it wasn't going to actually translate into real football action.

And what's funny is it's the opposite. I think he's a really good like football player. He makes football plays in games. Yep. I like him.

So you are watching. He is a football player. I was going to challenge you I know. God, I sounded like I sound like Dan Deardorff there. You know what I mean, though? He's he's

the rap on him was like he couldn't win routes. He was just straight lines, throw it up to him, and that's it. I actually think he reminds me of more like those Mike Evans, Alshon Jeffrey type of guys. For sure. I mean, it's hard to tell if it's hustle and bustle just makes everyone look great. But no, I like everything i see out of him mike evans by the way is i think the first guy since steve largen or steve watson to have three 35 point fantasy days in the first eight weeks that's what matt barry said but yeah he's had three months he's had three 35 point days that's insane that's a lot that team's that team's fun to watch if only they

could string together a couple wins. Last year, Crown Royal launched the first off-the-field water break to encourage fans of the game to moderate and hydrate to stay in the game. Whether you're watching the stadium, watching at home, or in a bar, have a great time. Enjoy some Crown. Just don't be that person. That ruins it for everyone.

Make the right call. Take a water break. Sal, have you thought about this? Who made the right call this week? I did think about it. I'm going off the board. It the right call. Take a water break. Sal, have you thought about this? Who made the right call this week? I did think about it. I'm going off the board. It's not NFL. I had a Halloween party this weekend, Saturday after Halloween.

But everyone's dressed up, and I decided to get the fight. I skipped the Canelo fight, which I know was really good, and I ended up seeing a lot of highlights on it. But I got Masvidal and Diaz the ufc fight 244 i think and diaz is a mess i knew these guys were going to come at each other and i bet that the fight would not go the distance which is about even odds and i have the fight on and now a crowd's developing like they were talking but now everyone's watching because diaz is split wide open and these are five minute rounds and they're doing five rounds and he split open for about 12 minutes and just like a stuck pig bleeding all over

everything to a point where you don't know one of those things where you don't know if the guy who's hitting him Masvidal is bleeding or Diaz except you know it's Diaz because his eye is a it's like hanging by his knee and the doctor checks him after the first round doc checks him after the second round and doc checks him out the third round i'm like these dumb doc these how are these guys doctors would you ever go to any of these doctors right check on they look and they're like yeah keep going yeah you're fine but this one bill in my estimation as the crowd was uh witnessing this grotesque like the women at the party were like all right and now half of them have fake blood on their face like part of their costume,

but the real stuff they couldn't take. And this doctor called the fight. He did the right thing. I don't know his name, but he made the right call. Oh, I like it. I was also- I won my bet. What do I care?

I was also going to go off the board. I had Chris Mannix from DAZN on the pod this week, or a few days ago, and we were talking about how, my thing about how when they do the scorecards like how harold letterman used to do it chris manix does it for his own fights and i said you got to do you got to shade the rounds either shade them so if you thought they were so definitive shade that or if it's around you couldn't tell who won, shade it that way. I like it. Use it like blue. So they actually did it.

They did a pickup too. It was great. They highlighted it. And I thought it was cool. He shaded the, he highlighted the fifth round. He was like, I don't know who won that round, but it was actually cool to see it on the scorecard. It turned out it didn't matter because Canelo knocked out Kovalev in the 11th round.

Kovalev, I don't know what happened, but one of my theories is if your nickname is Crusher and you're going to have Crusher with a K on your trunk and on your robe, you got to throw an overhand right at least once every six rounds. Yeah. It just can't be all jabs when you're Crusher.

It just can't be a finesse game. Or pull out a foreign object every now and then. Yeah. So anyway. Canelo's knocking out light heavyweights now. It's just insane. That was an underrated Kearns knocking out

Duran level knockout. For sure. Because he had him halfway and then just caught him and he just absolutely folded him. Crown Royal reminds everyone this football season and this MMA and boxing season to take a water break and moderate to stay in the game all right this was but let me just congratulate you for a moment i will i know you're really really down in the dumps with this patriots loss but big big

week for you you get the shaded box on the on the rounds for the for the zone and your ewing theory came to fruition like never before with the, with the nationals and no Bryce Harper and them winning the world series. It was great. Did I bet on it? Did I bet on it? No, no,

no, no, of course not. The watchables. I only have one watchable for week 10 chiefs Titans. I assume we're getting my homes. Yeah. Hmm. I have chiefs by three and a half

let me see what they did with this one because it wasn't on the board I actually had three and a half too so it doesn't really matter and it is three and a half let's split that one does that seem low? no

even though we both picked it? no because we don't we don't know what to expect from Mahomes alright barely watchables got five Bears

Lions yet another loser leaves town match this one really really is a loser leaves town match yep I assume Chase Daniel

they were not bringing back Mitch for this right they're gonna play Mitch at home again no well Mitch came out during the week and said he's studying tape a lot and looking at his body language they were not bringing back Mitch for this, right? They're gonna play Mitch at home again. No. Well, Mitch came out during the week and said he's studying tape a lot and looking

at his body language. And, uh, it didn't help. I saw that he watched the all 22, right? Yeah. Right.

I like Mitch. He seems like a nice guy. Yeah. I'm just not sure he's a quarterback. Yeah. Bears minus two. I have over the lines. You're going to get this.

You're going to beat me this week. I was off on a bunch of these. Uh, I said three and a half. I don't know why You're gonna get this You're gonna beat me this week I was off on a bunch of these I said three and a half I don't know why I thought everyone thinks This is their This is their Loser leaves town match

But it's two and a half So you'll get it This is definitely A loser leaves town match One of these people Is leaving the territory The NFC North territory By the way I think

Detroit Chicago Is a Thanksgiving game I'm almost positive Yeah So there's two games Today week that are Thanksgiving games. This and Atlanta, New Orleans. My dad and my stepmother are coming for Thanksgiving this year. So I am going to parlay the Lions with the over-under of 28 times that my wife gets exasperated by my stepmom asking if she can help.

Really? During Thanksgiving. Why don't you just say yes? She usually does. It's just, you know, sometimes the kitchen, when there's a lot of things moving around, it really only has room for one person. Yeah, right. Don't need the second person in there grabbing a fork.

You need nephew Kyle to run distraction, I think. No, nephew Kyle's great on Thanksgiving. He's just sitting in a chair watching football and eating. That's what you want. He never asks if anyone needs help. A couple of one-liners. Yeah, he doesn't need much from me. He's laughing, disappears to find some weird guest bathroom every once in a while.

He's great. Brown's home facing Allen number one in the Bills. This has the potential for some booze and some hilarity. I'm going with Browns minus three. Okay. Now explain this to me because I'm in the business. I somehow landed a TV show where I talk odds and stuff all week. So I should not be off by five and a half points.

The Browns are favored by two and a half. You're right. You get this. I said the six and two bills would be a three point favorite over the two and six Browns. I could listen to a three hour Ted talk explaining why the Browns are favorited here. I'll, I'll, I'll take your, uh, I'll take your, can I give you one sentence, whatever you want to give me. I don't understand it. I think the Browns are a very public team that people keep believing in for whatever reason,

obviously, cause they're not watching the games. And nobody wants to believe in the six and two bills. But they're six and two. That should be even at least. I know, but Vegas's job is to put the line at a point where they can get equal amount of action on both sides. No, I get it. But who the hell is betting that the Browns would beat anyone by a field goal?

What do you need to see? Josh Allen's a capable quarterback this guy today was not well you know i agree when did when does odell flip out tuesday well what did they do they told him uh he and landry they went i don't know if they were too big or what they told him they had to change their cleat so they couldn't come back oh yeah at, yeah, at halftime. At halftime. It's already a mess. Yeah, Tuesday sounds about right. Tuesday, 3 p.m. is the over-under.

Bucs cards. You know, I could have put this in the watchables. Yeah. I really enjoy watching the Bucs. I like their receivers. Am I crazy or are the Bucs entertaining? No, it's good. Their receivers are excellent.

Jameis is either... One drive, he looks like Drew Brees in 2006. And then the next drive, he'll look like the worst quarterback you've ever seen. You just don't know. He's trick-or-treat all time. I enjoy them. Bruce Arians, they cut to him and he's just doing a lot of fist pumps.

I'm not positive he knows what's going on. It's unclear. Seems like he- You have three receiving cores. I was talking about this with my son. Your favorite three receiving cores right now. Is it Seattle, Tampa Bay, Rams, or Vikings? Oh, Seattle and Tampa are the two most fun, I think.

Okay. I like that Casey, if McCall Hardman starts playing more with Tyreek Hill, they just have so much speed. With Kelsey, that's a pretty fun one, too. He has a lot of speed. He'll run you quickly into the grave if you have him on a fantasy team. He put up negative points again today. I like Cortland Sutton, too.

Yep. We need to find him a good quarterback. I have Bucs favored by two and a half over the cards. Oh, wow. I said four, and it's six. Really? It's another one where the two and a half gives a half a dozen points. But that's six. Really? It's another one where the two-win team gives a half a dozen points.

But that's ridiculous. The Bucs shouldn't be favored by over three over anyone except for the really bad teams. That's dumb. I'm trying to think what else Kyle Murray, what other odds he had on the road. I think that's mainly what we're taking here. Did you see that white guy on Thursday night

do the 88-yard touchdown, Andy Isabella? Yeah. Impressive. Great moments in white receiver history. That was way up there. Dusting people. Is that your favorite receiving core? Andy Isabella and Christian Kirk?

And Fitzgerald? Yeah. Colts, Dolphins. Fuck. Jacoby, this is a no-line, right? Well, I mean, I'll let you take this one, but they made the line so that he's playing. Oh, they made the line so he's playing.

They definitely made it so that thinking that he's playing. All right, so then I'll go Colts by 11. Yeah, it's 12. I said eight and a half, but you're going to win this week anyway. That's fine. That's a teaser. We'll figure something out with that.

And then last one. This is a borderline rewatchables but I don't want to give the Steelers fans the satisfaction because I feel like

they're super annoying right now. The Mick of Fitzpatrick. Is that your Damoshek impression? It's just whiny Pittsburgh fan. Just generic whiny Pittsburgh fan. Four and four. That pick's going to be the 16th pick.

Now we got a great D-back. Who was right? Us. Congrats. You're going to go 8-8. 88-year-old man hanging on the stoop of Permanente. You're going to go 8-8, and your quarterback just had Tommy John surgery. Good luck.

Hey, throw another party. Rams minus three at Pittsburgh. That's exactly what I said. They made it four. Yeah. Okay. You know, we can make fun of the Steelers, but we talked about those first-round matchups.

If they grab the sixth seed, they're 4-4, I guess they'd have to play Baltimore, right? It's still a division game. Mason Rudolph's not good. No, I know. He's not. They're just doing it with less and less. It is their defense. james connor's out

it's a question of how not bad he can be if that makes sense sure but he's not good um their defense is is definitely good secondary is good which helps i'm not a believer though it seems like like Connor's gonna be out a while I think so that's what I saw guy just runs too hard just take it easy let's take one more break

and then we have an incredible poopfecta hey let's talk about our old friends our old good friends ZipRecruiter finding key players for your team

can be challenging look at the Patriots they traded for Mohamed Sanu Sr. two weeks ago. Today, he was like, they were thrown to him every down. And it still wasn't good enough. You know what else? We need a tight end. Oh, crap.

The trade deadline passed. Oh, well. I mean, look at Cafe Altura's CEO, Dylan Miskewitz. He could relate. Maybe he couldn't find a tight end, but he needed to hire a director of coffee. Oh, yeah. He posted his job on ZipRecruiter. He found the best person for the role in just a few days. You know why? I have an idea. Four to five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a

quality candidate through the site within the first day. Who's the other one? Not Dylan Miskiewicz. Who's the other one? Gretchen Huebner. Gretchen Huebner. Have Gretchen Huebner and Dylan Miskiewicz ever met? They get a lot of love. I hear about them on the radio all the time. Try ZipRecruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com slash BS. And if you want Gretchen and Dylan to ever meet, that URL can't help you, but we can all wish for it.

But try ziprecruiter.com slash BS because ZipRecruiter.com slash BS because ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire. Alright, Poopfecta. Ravens are home for the Bengals who are not starting Andy Dalton.

The Bengals are home though, right? I mean, I'm sorry. The Bengals are home against the Ravens. No Andy Dalton. The Red Reds home against the Ravens. No Indie dog. These lines are hard to figure out with these backups. I have to admit. They really are. The Red Rifle will be sitting this one out.

I have Ravens by nine and a half. Good for him. Yeah, at eight and a half, it's 10. And that was, wait, let me check because that was before the game. Yeah, it's still 10. You get that one. Can we throw them in the teaser basket? I think we can, unless you think this is a giant letdown, but I can't even imagine that they figure this out.

I don't think Lamar has letdowns. No? Yeah. I'm going to say no letdowns for that guy. All right. That guy is super competitive. You think Zach Taylor, they had a bye, right? Cincinnati? Not too worried about the Bengals coming off a bye

preparation not worried about that one the other one I'm not worried about is the Saints home against the horrific Atlanta Falcons how crazy is this that this is a poop fact I guess because Matt Ryan and all that stuff but it might have been a poop fact even with Matt Ryan in, right?

Mm-hmm. This first six years was a marquee game. Mm-hmm. I have the Saints by 14.5. Wow. I have to look at this now. Oh, we tie. It's 12.5. I said 10.5. I went way low.

So we could do Ravens-Saints in a 10-point tease right now before that line goes to 13 and basically... We could do Raven Saints Colts? Is that what you're thinking? We can do Raven Saints anybody. We just get 10 free points. Ravens aren't losing.

The Saints aren't losing. Oh, I see what you're saying. I'm doing that tonight. Yeah. All right, let's do it. You know what? Let's stop the podcast and spread this money around like Mattress Mac

we'll take flights this next game was was too poopy even for the poopfecta it has been moved into a separate category called Kendall Roy's poop bed Jets Giants

it's on it's at the Jets are the quote unquote home team I have the Jets favored by two. I decided these two loser teams aren't nearly as big of losers as I am for spending at least 45 seconds

thinking of this line. And you said, you said Giants by two? Yeah. I said Jets by one. No, I had Jets by two. Jets by two. Yeah.

Jets, home team Jets by two. All right. I had Jets by one. It's Giants by two and a half. Yeah. Jets home team jets by two. All right. I had, I had jets by one. It's giants by two and a half. Oh, wow. So I get that. God, what a dark, dark week. So is this just, you get, you get zero, you get negative for the home advantage.

You get, they're getting negative, right? Yeah. It seems like, seems, it seems like they're factoring in all the booing Jets fans. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, because the Giants will be on the short week. That's a tough one. Jets will technically be home, but the Giants are still favored.

That is an awful game. Andrew Siciliano, if you're listening, this game should not go on the red zone at any point. It should be banned from the red zone. Put better games in the red zone. There has to be some red zone line of quality. And this does not pass. They're probably freaking out. There's only seven 10 a.m. games West Coast.

So you're going to see them in the red zone at some point. Good Lord. Maybe they won't make it to the red zone. That's true. They're just between the 30s for three hours just change it for this game the red zone is the three yard line in

that's all let's go to New York where the Jets have moved to the 37 they're in the brown zone Sunday night speaking of brown zones your team is playing the Cowboys playing against

the Vikings you have to hope that Adam Thielen's hamstring just never really recovers I would have said three with Adam Thielen but I'm actually going to say three and a half no you should have said three I said four it is three so you clobbered me

this week and there's still one more game is it weird that I feel lessed me this week. There's still one more game. Is it weird that I feel less anxious about this game than I do the Giant game? Well, you get Collins where if Dak plays while doing the whole thing. If I'm Jerry Jones,

I'm just like, Dak, can we get some coffee? Can we just get a cup of coffee? We got to sit down for some coffee. Let's talk about this Dak how much how much Dak I love Collinsworth I think he busted Lamar today for a minute right

he said he only goes to the towel he went two three times in a row and that was his towel for a pass he did it was like Teddy KGB in the Oreo right he's gonna just throw the towel at Chris Collinsworth after the game. But then I think it didn't end up being true, right? No, because they scored 37 points, so it was fine.

Monday night. Man, this is a really good game. There must be a mistake. There's a good Monday night football game. 49ers Seahawks. Something will go. Russell will tear his ankle or something during the week, right? Something stupid. 49ers Seahawks. Something will go. Russell. Somebody who got hurt.

Or something during the week, right? Something stupid. I'm putting this in the Vegas zone. 49ers by five. Wow, you went high. I need an explanation here, too, because I went three and a half. Six and a half. Ooh. Everyone's betting Seahawks for this, right?

Disrespectful. For sure. Wrestle, hustle, and bustle. Now, we talked about it, mostly me. I thought Justin Britt, the center going out. We talked about what happens to teams when their center goes out. It seemed to reinvigorate the Seahawks, but this might be a kind of defense where second string center gets

exposed, right? I guess. I mean, the Cardinals were in that 49ers game. I don't know what to make of anything anymore. The Thursday games are stupid. I guess. And London. We say this all the time. Only one team gets on the plane to London.

This week, it was the Texans. We read that wrong too because, oh, they're there all the time. Maybe we read into it the wrong way in that they know all the locals now. They know which pubs to go to. They party harder because they're familiar with London because they get shipped there every year. Maybe that's what happened. I don't know. There's no way to make sense of the London games.

Let's not even attempt it. Well, that was a pretty good ass kicking you got. It didn't make up for the pats. You know, it's tit for tat because what I beat you by 50 in fantasy after you were bragging all week to people. Everyone's staring.

Everyone's looking up at me in the standings now. Well, not the case. You know, I can't tell my team of randomly assembled guys who don't know each other when sometimes they just don't show up. It's very strange. Dick Chubb. Now you're blaming it on the whole institution. I get it.

Nick Chubb. How many more weeks can I start Alshon Jeffery, you think? I think we're done. I have him in another league, and I do the same thing. What is it about him that makes people think this will be the week? This is the week he's going to come through. He had a good year with the Bears in 2003. I don't know.

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All right. So this week for Thursday Night Football, the Halloween fell on Thursday, which is Thursday Night Football. I went Wednesday at the Grove dressed as Michael Strahan's teeth. And so we had this big prop, a big gap in the front teeth,

and I ran around and I terrified people at the Grove as Michael Strahan's teeth and saying stupid things like, I have 10 jobs and, you know, back to you, Aaron Andrews. I don't know. I was just yelling stupid things and people didn't know what the hell was going on. And then we throw it back to Michael Strahan and he's going to get mad.

It's something my cousin Jimmy taught me. Just get everyone in studio furious at you and good things happen. So we do this. And at the end of the thing, I have to give a pick. So I take the mask off and I go to my kids, my 11 year old and my five year old. And one of them is dressed as a 49 or a prospector and the other is dressed as an angry bird. And I'm going to say so I say final score. 49ers, 27.

And I pour 27 candy corns into his pumpkin, his plastic pumpkin. And then for the five year old, I was like, and, and Arizona three, plop, plop, plop. And then he kicks me and then he yells back to you, Michael. So that's the angry bird kicks me. And that's that. So now we're all home Thursday and we're going to watch it. I was like, all right, guys, it's coming on. Here we go. It's on TV. We're going to watch in like 30 seconds. They reluctantly put their iPads down. They're on TV. It should be a bigger deal when three-fifths of the family is on TV, right? You think. A prime time thing.

Okay. It wasn't at my house. And even my wife was like, all right, if they want to watch it, otherwise they can watch it later. I'm like, no, let's watch it now. It's on now. So let's watch it now. Stop being so jaded. So they put it down.

They watch. They know how it's going to end with me giving the 11 year old 27 and the five year old three. And at the point where I poured into the 11 year old's bucket 27, he turns to the kid, the five-year-old and says, aha. And now the five-year-old jumps at his throat and the 11 year old's got his fingers in the five-year-old's eye. I don't even, I can't even see the end of the bit. Like I couldn't even hear what Strahan said in response to the bit because they're screaming at each other and fighting. And to make matters worse, my friend Harry is there. He's 300 pounds. He's trying to get in

between them. They're falling on him. They're falling all over the couch. So I don't know what the moral of the story is, but just don't put your kids in bits or don't talk to your kids. I think that's the moral of the story. The moral of the story is the blood feud in your house between your two sons. It's unbelievable. This is a recurring theme of Paracorder. This is a nice thing. They're on television.

How often does this happen to their friends? I don't think a lot. They couldn't even watch for 40 seconds. I remember Bret Hart and Owen Hart had a whole thing where they turned on each other for like 6 months yeah oh and then my Bret and Owen were intensely watching the game, most intense they've watched

a football game all year to make sure their team won, of course 49ers did Jesus, dopes my parent corner it's you know my son went as Jack Nicholson from The Shining for Halloween

no I did not know that he made my wife take him to a store where he could buy kind of the overcoat that looked like Jack Nicholson's overcoat he did his hair like Jack Nicholson he bought an, which I mentioned

on a previous Parent Corner that he had bought on Amazon, an ax with a foam handle, which he was running around plunging into people's chests and they were legitimately terrified. Did you watch this movie with him? Was it this year? Oh, we've watched it. He was watching it when he was like five. I'm not a great father. No. he was watching it when he was like five I'm not a great father yeah so he went as Jack Nicholson for Halloween he had the limp the whole thing and that leads into his birthday which is next day

so we had 13 kids over oh I left out of the part of Halloween we ran out of Halloween candy because we had so many people in my neighborhood really? that it was I think the first year. And my wife always buys an insane amount of candy.

And we actually ran out. We bought my son's Halloween candy from him. He had him and his friend, Ben Williams. They had this big garbage because they had been going around for five hours. And we negotiated. And we actually bought all their candy. and they were all fired up about it. What's the going rate if I may ask? I think it was $80.

Yeah. Yeah. So they split that. So that was great. That is the worst. So then the next, I mean, it was really a good deal for both sides. It would have, we'd gone to CVS. That would have been a huge pain in the ass.

I know, but did you then charge him for his costume that you made your wife go out and get? I should have. I didn't think of that. I wish she had been here. So then Friday is his birthday because he was born on November 1st, day after Halloween. And we had 13 kids here.

And my wife, did you know you could rent these big kind of blow-up big screens that are attached to an Apple? It's basically like your own drive-in theater. Oh, right. Yes. I have seen those.

Yep. So sets up the backyard and Good Boys is out on Amazon. My son's favorite movie of all time. He's seen it like 11 times and he got all of his other friends. They're all watching. It's completely inappropriate. I can't defend it. So she sets it up. For some reason, can't control the volume. So it's blaring. When I say blaring,

like it's blaring. You could hear it on the, like parents who are parking on our street, way far in the front, hear it. And this is a movie where it starts out where they're talking about like, Hey, hey hand job jerk off and it's just flaring through our neighborhood for two solid hours as my wife is like i can't figure this out damn it and doing her whole thing with the volume and uh and we just blasted good boys through our entire neighborhood oh that's great and uh it was it wasn't great at one point Ben is like you know what

I can turn the volume lower but it's gonna cost just $750 he probably and then the I have a quick wife corner

we went to the reason we didn't go to your Halloween party was because we went to Fleas his his charity thing which I mentioned

at the start of this podcast for the silver lake um the conservatory of music and because eddie vetter was playing right who is my wife's single favorite human being so we had to go so we show up and we're checking in and she sees um max greenfield the guy from The New Girl. You know who I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, I think I do. No, you've seen that show. Let me look it up. No.

What do you mean no? No, you know who this is. All right. He's a known guy. I'm just going to get his image while you go through this. He's a known guy. So she sees him and she hugs him. And I think, and he's like, hey, and they have a hug. And then he's like, hey, I'm a fan of your podcast.

I'm like, thanks. And I think they know he's like, hey, and they have a hug. And then he's like, hey, I'm a fan of your podcast. I'm like, thanks. And I think they know each other from school. Turns out she thought it was our friend, Ben. And she'd never met him before and had a huge, so then tells me that. And I thought this was the funniest thing. So then I went back and was like, my wife has thought you're our friend, Ben.

And we've just hit that point of our lives, Sal. We're just getting people confused. We're just meeting people and getting them confused with somebody else. This is what middle age is like. She was delirious about the opportunity to see Eddie Vedder. I'll give her a little break there.

She gave him this huge hug and he was like, oh yeah, and had no idea who she was. I know Max Greenfield now. The big winner was like, oh, yeah, and had no idea who she was. I know Max Greenfield now. The big winner was our friend Ben, who obviously she really, really likes. Nice. It's the tale of two Bens, this parent corner segment. It really is.

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It was good. You know, a lot of people, probably like 100 people in and out. Harry? What's that? Harry was the biggest celebrity? Harry was there. There was a bigger, there was a bigger celebrity there. Not even my cousin, but,

there was, uh, yeah, Harry was dressed as Barney rubble. I thought he could have stopped at just Barney. I thought the rubble part was unnecessary. He's a big guy, but,

uh, yeah, it was, it's Harry carrying himself differently now that he, now that he's on such a gambling hot streak and getting paid. Well, thank God. Thank God.

He went like one, four and one or something with his best bet. So, um, oh good. He was getting cocky. Yeah. We're going to crush him with that, uh, on against all odds this week. And, uh, I'm on a Thursday night football Raiders chargers. You got to help me here. Simmons.

I'm five and one with my picks. This is a tough one. You're five and one on the Thursday nights, five and one that Thursday. Don't even let me pick against the spread, but I give a score. So I would have been, I'm five and one straight up and. You're five and one on the Thursday nights, five and one that Thursday don't even let me pick against the spread, but I give a score. So I would have been, I'm five and one straight up and I would be five and one against the spread too.

Oh, so they do. This is like the Chris Berman circa Swami circa 2005 thing. Right. But I give a score. So, but so deep down, deep down,

we know how you feel. That's right. We're close. If it butts up against the game, I don't think I could put a spread on it. That's what, that's right we're close if it butts up against the game i don't think i could put a spread on it that's what that's the rules though anything else to plug that's it uh lock it in 4 30 5 30 eastern monday through friday i'm the king again i'm gonna have to get a basketball futures from you because i keep winning and uh i get a free futures bet if you have anything i mean i think the I think the teams, we did well with our preseason bets, but-

We're in trouble with one. Well, we wouldn't want to touch the Rockets right now, right? We have a division bet with the Sixers and the Rockets. Yeah. And I knew the Rockets weren't going to be good defensively. I didn't expect them to be reprehensible defensively. And they're reprehensible. They gave up almost 160 points to the Wiz, which was the first sign.

And then today they gave up 46 in the first quarter of Miami. But it makes sense when you think about it because they have Westbrook and Harden, who both really don't try that hard at all on defense. And they're playing together. And that's 40% of the five guys they have out there. And neither of them can guard anybody. So it actually does make sense. Oh, yeah.

They shouldn't be good on defense. But I don't know why we didn't think of this before this season. Right. Give me a, well, look, I think, and you can't do this because every time Kyrie goes to the line, you have to comment on it. I understand, but I think we let this kind of thing.

I'm going to check in in two weeks and see where everything's shaking out because the Rockets can't be this bad for this long. But what would you say if I were to go rookie of the year? Do you still say Zion or did any of these guys jump up in the last couple weeks?

John Morant's done okay. I don't think anybody's – it's too early. Nobody's really come flying out of the packet. I guess what I'm asking is the guys that weren't supposed to get minutes, are there guys that are getting minutes that weren't supposed to? For rookie? Sure, yeah. Tyler Harrow is probably the one

that has a chance. Yeah, you liked him anyway, right? I liked him anyway, but he's definitely playing. I will say this. I've watched the Knicks a couple times, and I do think RJ is good. And once they shake out their rotations and stuff,

I think he could get to like 18 points a game, something like that. All right. John Moran plus 250, RJ plus 350. Nunn is the guy that everyone's jumping on here a little bit. Nine to one. I mean, that was a G League guy. Well, we're in good shape with the Miami.

All of our Miami stuff's in good shape. Golden State under, we nailed that. The best bet was Golden State and Indiana to not make the playoffs. So Indiana will be close, right? Yeah, they look pretty good today, though. We'd probably need one more injury with that one. All right, yes, let's root for injuries.

No, I'm just saying, if Oladipo comes back, it's probably enough for them to make it but they'd have to continue to have bad luck and we can refer interest the

the I'm trying to think if there's a surprise I guess the Lakers if Davis and LeBron are actually going to play

like 70 games each that that under over under might have been too low it was 50 because you could see it on Friday night. That was such a good game. Luca versus LeBron. Then Luca got concussed. The

announcers weren't for some reason talking about it really seemed like he got concussed, but LeBron took over and you know, they have two of the best seven guys in the league. Yeah. It's scary when they both have insane lines like they did. Was that Friday night in Dallas? Was that the one? Yeah, the best part though is starting to get feedback from Laker fans

who are throwing it in me and Rosillo's face because we really scoffed at Dwight Howard. Oh, yeah. It was like how funny it was Laker fans talking themselves into Dwight.

Dwight had another good game today. He's like, oh, you're going to apologize yet for Dwight? My stance on this is very clear. There's going to be no apology. I you're going to apologize yet for Dwight? My stance on this is very clear. There's going to be no apology.

I'm just going to play the waiting game on this one. Yeah, of course. Why should this be different in 2019? Don't have your Dwight Howard party yet. That's all I'm going to say. Enjoy early November with Dwight. We'll see in March and April if this is still happening. Good luck.

And good luck keeping your sons apart. Sal, good job by you as always. Good job by you, Billy. All right. Thanks so much to State Farm. And hey, don't risk compromising

your online privacy with the wrong VPN. Feel confident knowing you have protection from Norton Secure VPN. Right now, you can get it at norton.com

slash VPN Simmons starting at $orton.com slash VPN Simmons starting at $3.33 a month for the first year with an annual subscription. It is a leader in consumer cybersecurity. It uses bank-grade encryption to help block hackers from stealing the info you send and receive over Wi-Fi.

norton.com slash VPN Simmons. And don't forget, Tuesday, Book of Basketball 2.0. Come. Tuesday book of basketball 2.0. Come, come to the new podcast. Subscribe. See you Tuesday.

I want to see them on the way. So I don't have feelings within On the wayside I'm a person never lost And I don't have feelings within