The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Thanksgiving Week Special With Cousin Sal (Ep. 289)

Episode Date: November 20, 2017

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss Dak Prescott's disappointing Sunday night (5:00), Kansas City's chances of losing the AFC West (14:00), Wentz vs. Brady MVP odds (18:00), the NFC playoff picture (22:00), Tony Romo's lack of luck (29:00), the three Thanksgiving Day games (37:30), the Rams-Saints marquee matchup (44:00), Blaine Gabbert vs. Blake Bortles (51:30), Panthers-Giants (1:01:00), and another edition of "Parent Corner" (1:07:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network brought to you by SeatGeek. That is our presenting sponsor. For $20 off your first SeatGeek purchase on NBA tickets, use promo code BSNBA. You can do it on Wednesday night, which is going to be an awesome, awesome hoops night, including Philly has a home game against the Trailblazers. Miami has a home game against Seattle. Houston's got one.

A lot of the big cities have one. Download the SeatGeek app or go right to SeatGeek.com. Also brought to you by Hotel Tonight. No crashing on an air mattress in your childhood bedroom this holiday. Lock down your plans with Hotel Tonight. Book a room up to seven days advance

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That's where my column goes up every Friday, including last Friday I did winners of the NBA's first month. Hopefully it did not jinx the Sixers because they immediately went out and lost to the Warriors. So that's on there. Here's the schedule for this week. We have another podcast. I'm doing three podcasts this week.

Yeah, so there you go. You'll have stuff to listen to over the holidays, not to mention all the other good stuff on the Ringer Podcast Network, including our new college basketball podcast, One Shining Podcast, the Ringer NFL Show, The Watch. I don't know if we're going to have another Rewatchables this week, but I think we had one last week. We have a bunch of them coming.

House of Carbs. What's the big Thanksgiving episode, right, Tate? Yeah, I think it's like a bracket. It's a bracket. Oh, yeah, House of Carbs has. I think it's like a bracket. It's a bracket. Oh yeah. House of Carbs has a bracket for, uh, for all the sides and Thanksgiving that got really heated. Apparently Joe has punched someone out.

That's it. We're going to have cousin Sal. He's by phone this week. He's not in person. That's all right. We're so used to doing these that we can do these on the phone. First protein. All right, on the line, Cousin Sal.

Thanksgiving coming up. He's already home. He's already eating. How are you already eating? It's not for three more days. What are you eating? You know, when I get depressed, when I make horrible bets, I eat. And, you know, as a result, I'm a big fat man here.

Terrible, terrible, terrible. Bad bets and then also the Cowboys were humiliated last night. And Dak Prescott looked like a fourth round pick. Are you worried about Dak Prescott? I did think his throwing motion was a little off. And he did look like someone who didn't necessarily practice a lot last week. Is he hurt? He looked hurt to me. He was grounding some balls.

Didn't look right. I wouldn't be surprised if you heard that he was hurt. But, you know, listen, no Tyron Smith. This Eagles defense is fierce, and I don't even know how they stayed close in the first half, although that was one of my picks, the Cowboys plus four at the time but um i don't know they're in trouble two back-to-back 20 plus point losses and um it's not even gonna matter i don't think when z gets back it's not gonna matter we're gonna go through the whole playoff picture in a second i do want to mention though that eagles game last

night was fascinating from a gambling standpoint because pretty much everybody picked and wagered on the eagles and the line moved the line moved to solid three points it went from three and a half to six and a half i could not come up with a single reason to take dallas and yeah wanted to put the eagles in a tease it just every single sign pointed to the eagles and every time that happens something weird happens in the game. So we're watching this game. The kicker gets a concussion immediately. The Cowboys take the lead 9-7.

And it just had all the makings of just America getting screwed over. And when they were up 9-7, I was like, the Cowboys are definitely covering this. It's destined to happen. And then it didn't happen. It was one of the rare everybody won games, which I guess kind of softens the blow from the Chiefs blowing every single three-team tease that everyone had in America. It didn't soften the blow for me, though, because I did not have the Eagles.

How did we lose on Andy Reid yet again? I don't know. The Vegas books got murdered yesterday with the patriots and eagles because like you said everybody was all over them the favorites were nine three and one against the spread and we still considered and continue to get slaughtered here yes andy reed that you know and you read saturday like all right the winds are going to be 45 miles an hour in new jersey and it's going to be rainy and crappy it's like oh, oh, it's the Giants, though. And Andy Reid off a bye. He never loses.

He never loses to bad teams. And you just got the feeling. Although we had a chance to bet against it live at halftime in the third and fourth quarter, and we just didn't do it. It's one of those I don't understand games. I don't know. I don't figure it out. They were near midfield, and it was a tie game,

and they had Travis Kelsey, for some reason, throw a pass, which usually doesn't work out for the Chiefs when people who aren't the quarterback are throwing a pass. I guess the mindset yesterday was that Alex Smith was so bad, maybe have other guys throw the ball. So he just chucks it up there. The Giants get it. They don't do anything.

They punt. The punt returner just lets it go over his head. For reasons that are still unclear, it rolls to like the six. And then they have Alex Smith just chucking it over the middle. It gets picked. Giants get a field goal. Then the Chiefs have to come all the way back down now to tie the game. And they do.

And they get to like the 11. And then Alex Smith, for some reason, just takes off and thinks he can score from the 12-yard line. Gets tackled. They have to use the last time out. Goes into overtime. But they get the ball. So it's like, all right, this is good.

They get the ball. No, nothing happens. And then the Giants rip down on him. I thought it was an embarrassing loss. and I hate the Chiefs now. I hate their guts. I really hate them so. What's going on with them? I know we have Kareem Hunt who looked unstoppable.

Like he was going to break every record. Forget about offensive rookie of the year. He was going to break every single record. And now you're lucky. He gets bottled up all the time. You're lucky if he gets 75 yards out of them. And, you know, there's just no deep threat. So now they're the Chiefs again, the Chiefs that we know.

And yet a two-game lead looks like they're going to win that terrible division. Travis Kelsey said teams are going cover two on us and we haven't solved it yet. Isn't cover two like the most basic defense you can play in football? You can't solve cover two? You don't have any plans for that one oh my god yeah all right so i i went through uh i went through all the teams trying to figure out if there's any this is a great time to bet usually if you just like ride certain teams and try to say like all right that team's gonna go five and two or here comes that team or whatever the playoff picture is especially bizarre this year because right now not only is baltimore the sixth seed in baltimore

even though they've had three shutouts this year joe flacco is so bad that even in green bay with brett hunley just chucking the ball around everybody and just completely incapable of even scoring three points it still felt like Flacco wanted to keep Green Bay in the game and he just couldn't do it I it's hard for me to believe he's going to be in the playoffs and then you look at the I guess there's four teams that could jump them since he's four and six the Chargers are four and six Buffalo's five and five but heading in the wrong direction and then the Jets are 4-6 but have a bunch of tough games left. I keep coming back to the Chargers, who I think we wrote off.

They're only 4-6. They're a game behind Baltimore. They're playing your crappy Cowboys on Thursday. Then they have Cleveland and Washington at home. Washington lost Chris Thompson, which I don't think they're going to recover from offensively. That guy was doing everything for them. At KC,

at the Jets, home for Oakland. I think the Chargers can go 5-1 here, especially if they win this Thursday game, which I think they're going to. I think they're a live, live dog. 9-7, Baltimore's 5-5. Houston Monday night, home for Detroit, at

Pittsburgh on a Sunday night. At Cleveland. Home for Indy and Cincy. Feels like nine and seven too. And then it's like, well, that Cincy game is interesting. Week 17. What are they got going on? They're four and six.

Home for Cleveland. Yeah, that's five and six. Home for Pittsburgh on a Monday night. Winnable. Home for Chicago. At Minnesota. Home for Detroit, at Baltimore. The more I'm looking at this, unless the – the Chargers will lose two dumb games because they're the dumb Chargers, and they'll probably finish 8-8.

The more I'm looking at this, there's a chance Cincy Baltimore week 17 is going to be a playoff game. Sure. Right? Yeah, why not? You look at these, though, we're looking at four and six teams, and like, all right, this could be it. No, they're four and six because nothing's a guaranteed win.

That's what happens. And I was going to try to sell you on the Chargers a plus 650 to win the AFC West, two games behind the Chiefs. Chiefs already beat them, so it's like two and a half. And listen, eight days ago, they were the Chargers. They lost to the Jaguars in typical Chargers fashion. But they, I think, are the most dangerous of any of these teams you just mentioned. It's very strange, and we have to figure out who we want to root for.

All along we've been saying we want to go against Blake Bortles in the first round of the playoffs. That's who we want to bet against. But if it's Ravens at Jacksonville, and Jacksonville already beat them by 30, I don't know what we do. We may have to pass on that one. Yeah, so the Chiefs, my instinct would be to write them off and think they're going to go in a tailspin. And then you look at their schedule. They're home for Buffalo this week, and then they're at the Jets the next week. I find it hard to believe they're going to lose both of those. It feels like at least one and one at worst. So now they're at the Jets the next week. I find it hard to believe they're going to lose both of those.

It feels like at least one and one at worst. So now they're at seven wins. Then they have Oakland the week after. Oakland's awful. I watched the entire Oakland-Pats game yesterday. It's a rare combination of terribly coached, none of their receivers can make a play, and their secondary can't cover anybody.

It's really like the perfect storm of a team you wouldn't want in 2017. They stink. And the Chiefs are going to want revenge on that Oakland team. They lost that Thursday night game, a really weird ending. They had like three untimed downs or something. Yeah, they stink. Yeah, you're right. It could be a win.

I think if the Pats had really wanted to, I think they could have put up 60 in that game. I really do. If they had been like – like Brandon Cooks, they couldn't cover him the whole game. Well, here's the Pats in a game. I really do. If they had been like, like Brandon Cooks, they couldn't cover him the whole game. Well, here's the Pats in a nutshell, and you know, not that anyone thought the Raiders could win this game after it was 14-0,

but it's 14-0, and they're at least doing a good job of killing the clock. They're smart to not give Brady time at the end of the first half, because that's where teams lose the game. And so they're taking it down, they're at the 30, they're taking it down to like three before they snap it. And then, of course, Carr throws that pick inside the 10.

Now the Pats come out. You know, you're at the seven-yard line with 33 seconds left. Only the Patriots could have a running play. Deion Lewis next 20-yard run to the 27, then pass, pass, pass. Mexican field goal, and the game is over. And that's it. That's the Patriots. They don't give you the whole first half to play.

They give you, you know, 15 minutes plus 13 and a half minutes of the second quarter. That's why it's so dangerous still. And what was funny about that was when they got the ball back, yeah, I immediately started calculating how they were going to get the three points. Because you figure they only had to get to the 45 yard line. But it's a run. They start with a run. It's like they've given up if you get bottled up for four.

Oakland had no idea it was coming. I actually think it would be really hard for KC not to win the division. Really, the only tough game they have is they have a home game against the Chargers on a Saturday in Week 15, but they get to play the entire AFC East, and they get a home game against Oakland Chargers on a Saturday in week 15. But, you know, they get to play the entire AFC East, and they get a home game against Oakland,

and then they get to play that crappy Denver team in Denver who's firing their offensive coordinator and completely self-combusting. So I think KC makes it. The spots that are available are those two wild card spots. Tennessee's 6-4, and they get to play everybody else in the AFC South again. They get to play at Zona and at San Francisco. Their only tough game is home for the Rams. Feels like Tennessee's gonna

make it, even though they just got beat by 30 points. But I'm with you. We always have our fantasy league, the first round of the playoffs, we go to Shakey's, which is the most depressing restaurant in LA. The Shakey's on Sunset. And we go to Shakey's, which is the most depressing restaurant in LA, the Shakey's on Sunset.

And we have the Shakey's banquet. And they always put the worst AFC playoff game. There's always a bad one. And that's always the one that's on Sunset. Yeah, it was like Houston, Cincinnati for like 19 years in a row. It's the Andy Dalton Bowl. Right. This year, there's actually,

I don't know which game they would pick because if it's Jacksonville, Baltimore, that's one of the worst playoff games of all time. And there might be eight turnovers in that game. And then the other possibility is KC home for Tennessee, which is also an atrocious game that I don't want to watch. So I don't know, Sal. It would be the most fun if the Chargers got in. Sure. Because I actually enjoy watching the Chargers. I think they're a fun team.

They're 4-6, but they could easily be 7-3 or 8-2, and they have playmakers, and their defense is fun. And it's fun to watch them at home when they have no fans. I don't know. I would like to see them get a home playoff game but yeah that definitely would be the most fun six seed in the group uh you know they have they have the fantasy player like phil rivers just you like seeing his body language anyway you root for melvin gordon i think and like you said bosa and ingram on defense are a lot of fun and maybe they

get the south korean kicker back but yeah definitely the most intriguing six feet so the pats are eight and two and pittsburgh's eight and two the pats really only have one time the pats somehow the schedule guides gave them miami twice a buffalo twice both of whom are in a head-on tailspin car crash combo and then they get the jets week 17 the only tough game they have is week 15 at Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh's schedule isn't much harder, but at least they have at Cincinnati on a Monday night. They have to play Baltimore at home, and then they have that Pats game.

It feels like the Pats are going to be the one seed, and if the Pats are the one seed, then that means they're playing KC, Tennessee, Baltimore, the Chargers, one of those teams that we just made fun of. That's their round two game. It really seems like it's almost impossible for them not to make the AFC title game, right? Well, let's not forget that their first round game, it was a second round game, but their first game last year in the playoffs was against Brock Osweiler's Houston Texans. They were like a 16.5 point favorite, and they covered.

The Texans were in the game for a while, and they covered. So I don't know if we could get much worse than that. But I also think, I was trying to think if the Patriots' second string could get the sixth seed in the AFC. Do you think their second string could get the sixth seed? Because now you can't complain about their defense. They've given up as good as any team over the last seven games defensively. The secondary is a lot better.

They still don't really have a pass rush. I think it's been masked a little bit by how bad some of the teams they've played are. But I would love to see the complete list of all the terrible quarterbacks the Patriots have gone against in the playoffs like the last 10 years. Because remember, they played Tebow at home. That happened. They had Osweiler. I mean, they've had some beauties.

Matt Schaub, right when his career was falling apart, they've had some doozies. And I would say my dream would be for Baltimore to somehow beat Jacksonville and to be able to get Joe Flacco on the road with the way he's playing. Joe Flacco's really, really, really, really, really bad. He's really awful. I don't know what happened to that guy. That used to be the team you were afraid of, the Ravens.

Yeah, I'm not afraid. No longer afraid of the Ravens. Yeah, no deep threats, nothing special going on there. There were a lot of bad quarterbacks. You forget Mariota threw four picks Thursday because a guy named Nathan Peterman threw five yesterday, and Dak threw three, and who else threw three? Just double the Chiefs threw three.

I guess Kelsey threw one, and Alex Smith threw two. But there was a lot of bad quarterback play yesterday. Yeah, and somehow Eli's not throwing enough. I know. If I I'm a Giants fan I'm absolutely furious that we won that game I'm just furious I would have it's all I guess McAdoo doesn't have a choice because he's getting fired anyway but that that really probably cost them the first pick in the draft like congratulations you beat the Chiefs and the fans looked just so miserable it's 45 degree winds yeah it's an awful football game they're all sitting there just wondering what the hell's happened in their lives uh God bless them for sticking around for that overtime but like Collinsworth and others gave McAdoo a

lot of credit for that win yesterday and having his team ready but like they were like kind of dominated like a little bit they lost time possession like 37 31 they were, like, kind of dominating. Like, they lost time possession at 37-31. They were 3-13 on third down. Like you said, that Kelsey throw, that might have been the best pass of the day, by the way. It was nice. They lucked out a lot of different ways. Remember when Alex Smith had the best MVP outs? Yeah.

Those were the days. That was something. The nation is torn between Brady and Wentz for MVP Brady's minus 150 and Wentz is plus 150 it's a tough one it's a tough one I think Wentz is great

he was so good I actually didn't think you guys played I thought Prescott played bad but I didn't think you played as bad as a team. There were a couple times when your defense seemed like they were going to get him, and he just did Carson Wentz stuff and got around and moved around.

It was a little Roethlisberger-y, how he creates time. I don't want to get too crazy, but he's got kind of like the best stuff of Roethlisberger and a little Aaron Rodgers, too. Really. Like, you should root for this guy because the Bradys and the Roethlisbergers and the Aaron Rodgers are going to be gone soon. And then we're going to have Carson Wentz and Deshaun Watson,

and we should, as football fans, hope that nothing happens to those guys in the upcoming years, nothing bad or worse than what happened to Deshaun Watson. But, yeah, he's pretty spectacular. If we did a draft of guys in your 20s you'd want as your quarterback, I think he's the first pick. Sure. Tate. Sure.

Would you rather have him or Cam Newton? Cam Newton. Maybe we should ask the Browns. The Browns are usually good at this stuff. They can figure it out. Good idea. Hey, they say in life there are no guarantees and no sure things. Well, there are two exceptions.

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which is Arizona always beats somebody that they shouldn't beat in the last five weeks. Home for Philly, at Seattle, at Tennessee, and then San Francisco the last week. And I keep looking at Seattle, if Seattle and Atlanta play tonight. And I actually think Atlanta's going to win, but if Seattle can somehow pull that out, then they're at San Francisco, home for Philly, at Jacksonville, home for the Rams, at Dallas, home for Zona, and Jacksonville, home for the Rams, at Dallas, home for Zona, and they've already beaten the Rams.

And it's all kind of heading toward Week 15, Rams, Seattle. I think there is a scenario where the Rams don't make the playoffs. Could you see that? Well, yeah, first of all, Seattle will pull that out tonight because we both like Atlanta tonight. Yeah, we already have Atlanta, so congratulations to the Seahawks. So they don't have to worry about that. But, yeah, you're right. Seven and three, if they go two and four, the Rams,

and you read their schedule, that's possible that they go two and four down the stretch, make it nine and seven. I think you need ten wins to get that six seed. Unlike the AFC, I think for sure teams like Atlanta and whoever loses between Carolina and New Orleans for first place, and same goes. Yeah, I think there's teams. I think that's weird because how many NFC teams from last year

are we not going to see? Possibly Detroit, definitely Green Bay, almost definitely dallas and here's the thing here's the thing with detroit because they play minnesota on thanksgiving at home if they win that one it's a really easy schedule the rest of the way they're at baltimore at tampa home for chicago at cincy home for green bay and i do think they're going to be hanging around and they've had this tendency of that you know yet again some horseshoe up the ass wins like yesterday with that bears game which i i still don't know how they won the bears game but i this new orleans rams game this week is going to determine a lot of what happens i think

in the nfc because yeah so if new orleans blows it now they're eight and three and they'd have caroline at home at at at Atlanta on a Thursday night. So this is next 18 days. That's a pretty brutal stretch. At Rams, home for Carolina, at Atlanta, and then they have to play Atlanta again. Atlanta can leapfrog everybody if they just get hot right now,

which I think isn't inconceivable. Carolina. That's a fun whoever gets that six seed, that's a fun, whoever gets that six seed, that's a fun matchup, right? Because you'll have Seattle, potentially Seattle-Atlanta as a 3-6.

Who would be the 4-5? It would be... You don't know how far Minnesota is going to get, but it could be New Orleans-Detroit as a 4-5 or 3-6. Pretty good. Yeah, pretty much all the NFC playoff games are fun unless Detroit gets in.

Detroit could single-handedly sabotage it. We should mention also New Orleans is 8-2, but they have at Rams, home for Carolina, and at Atlanta in that stretch. But then also Minnesota 8-2. They're at Detroit on Thanksgiving, which is always a tough game. At Atlanta. And then at Carolina. Those are all losable games, Sal.

With Case Keenum. Case Keenum. You know, they're doing a nice job masking. We're being convinced that Case Keenum is a solid quarterback. Right. Basically because the 10 other quarterbacks are just god-awful. But Vikings have the second-best offensive line in the league and top three defense.

And Thielen makes a play every game. He's the biggest breakout receiver in the game right now. So it's looking good for Minnesota right now. But I could see them losing three of four at some point, including the playoffs. Yeah, is it all right if I don't trust Case Keenum? Yeah, you're good. It's okay, right?

I'm not hurting anyone's feelings? You're good for now. The Vikings fans think that we just have discounted this team all year. I will say, I'm not sure who would have won that game if Cooper Cupp doesn't fumble in the second quarter, which was a huge play. But the Rams were about to go up by a touchdown again. They had a lot of momentum. And then that play killed them.

And then he had another big drop in the second half. I thought he really hurt them. I've had him on my fantasy. I traded for him. I've had him on my team for two months. He might not be that good. He's had a lot of big drops from them. And now Woods.

Tate, they say Woods came back? Is he coming back? Yeah, he's coming back. Yeah, Cooper Cobb. We don't have keepers on our team, but I'm not sure he would be one anyway. I like Lombardi put it best. The Vikings went into that game. Lombardi and Tate did their part last best. The Vikings went into that game. Lombardi

and Tate did their part last night. The Vikings went into that game and they were like, Todd Gurley's not beating us and Jared Goff's deep ball is not beating us. You can have everything else. And the Rams couldn't figure it out. Yeah, I think the Rams took a hit yesterday. They did not look like they were ready.

That game needed to be played at a certain level and they were just a little too sloppy. Carolina is kind of looming here too with, uh, they got the, at the jets. I'm not sold on new Orleans. I think that was a ridiculous win that they had yesterday. Congratulations to them. But you know, Washington should have, I would say 95 times out of a hundred should win that game.

And it just seems like there's something off with that New Orleans team. I know they're winning, but when you watch them, do you feel like that's like a dominant team? I certainly don't. Well, I was definitely impressed with their defense the whole last month. But Lattimore was in and out of the games. But it did look like the same Saints defense yesterday. But it also looks a little like Drew Brees is playing possum and can kind of bring this team back whenever he needs to. Yeah, I mean, they had 18 points in the fourth quarter, so that's pretty remarkable.

I was playing possum on my fantasy team, I'll tell you that much. Well, speaking of your fantasy team, it was a bad omen for the Rams, I think, when you accidentally dropped Jared Goff Saturday night. Yeah, I had an when you accidentally dropped Jared Goff Saturday night. Yeah. I had an iPhone fantasy waiver accident. I waved Jared Goff for Mercedes Lewis. I got home. I had my buddy Ness's 50th birthday party on Saturday night.

I was not in good shape. I was pretty bummed, I got to be honest. And got this email that I had waved Jared Goff and kind of freaked out. CBS should have, there should be like 50 guys that should be unwaivable, right? Yeah, right. You should get that are you sure thing. Like when you're about to delete an app and they ask you 17 times, are you sure you want to delete this?

Like, oh no, I'm not sure. I have to press the X there or the home button before I press the X. Yeah, it should be the same with players. Or you should have to blow into a computer breathalyzer. Did you mean to do this? Really? You're going to wave Jared Goff? But yeah, there should be a protected list because in general,

nobody should be able to wave any of the top 12 quarterbacks. Dropping while intoxicated, it's a new DUI. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, let's do our captains. The captain will not rest until he has brought his adventurous spirit and delicious rum to every corner of America.

Captain Morgan has spiced up life quite a bit, developed a collection of rum, each with its own distinctive flavor and personality, original spice, coconut, pineapple, white, black grapefruit, whatever you want. The captain loves anyone who learns to mix like a captain. Every week, Sal and I pick captains. And first of all, I'm going to read you this email, Sal.

Because my captain, once again, the first two-time captain of the season for me. Really? Tony Romo. Oh, good for you. Alright. Got to watch the entire Pats Raiders game, watching with Nephew Kyle. Nephew Kyle's birthday was yesterday. Nice. He was so hung over

and almost looked like something horrible had happened the night before. Like, I had kind of a nervous energy to him, like the police might show up at my house to ask him questions about whatever had happened the day before. And we just watched the entire Pats Raiders game. And at one point we were just talking about how great Romo was.

And, and Kyle said, it's such a treat. This is such a treat to have him do a Patriots game. And that's exactly how I felt. It was a treat. It was a treat to have Tony Romo announce my team for three hours. He did a great job.

Nice. But I'm going to read this email from John Whited, who said, Romo is essentially predicting the future because he can read defense as well as anyone in the world and understands quarterbacking intangibles as well as anyone. If Romo had been healthy and blessed with Belichick as his coach for the last 15 years, there's a chance he could have become Brady, right? The best version we ever got of Romo was the 2014 version with the clapper as his head coach.

With better luck, could Romo have been the greatest QB of all time? P.S., Cousin Sal will love this question. I love it. I do love it. Forget about better luck. How about any luck? As far as it goes, he's one of the most unfortunate players to ever suit up on the star there on the 50-yard line.

But I'm with you. I'm with it. Why not? Why not Belichick and why not Romo? Is it too late for that? I don't know if – I don't think Romo took his conditioning slash workout regime seriously enough and I think that's what held

him back and I think that's why he had back issues. No, I just think Brady was at another level. I think even yesterday during the telecast, Romo was talking about how much he enjoyed Mexico and he was like, yeah, we had a great week. A lot of Coronas and Jim Nance. There was just this awkward silence

as Jim Nance's circuit in his head, the Jim Nance robot couldn't handle this ad lib about drinking from Romo. And it was just silent for five seconds. I don't know. I don't think you need to drink carrot and ginger soup by the gallons like Tom. I think maybe you do.

I think maybe you do. I think maybe you do. Did you see him hit Brady Cooks yesterday? Listen, Kenny Stabler had to sweat out a jar of vodka about a third quarter every game, and he still made it work. His career was over when he was like 30. Who's your captain this week? I'm with you. My captain, listen, I feel bad for this guy.

I'm going to make him captain. Tyrod Taylor. The fact that this Bills team gave up all summer, gave up on the NFL. They traded their stars for draft picks. They were tanking by all accounts. They didn't leave them with any good receivers. The guy, all he did was do three interceptions in nine weeks. He had wins over the Broncos, Falcons, Bucs, Raiders,

back when those teams were good. And just a couple hours ago, really good attitude. He tweets, won't stop loving this game. How about that, Tyrod Taylor? You know, the Jets, the Giants, the Redskins, one of those teams are going to be very happy to have you next year. And I'm happy right now to have you as my captain of the week, Ty Taylor. All right, the segment is now over.

Can I make fun of Ty Taylor? Yeah, I'm going to make fun of him. I just don't think he's very good. I think this whole thing the last week, it was like Michael Vick in 2004 was getting benched. He didn't play well. And I think the mistake was, obviously they don't want to bring him back next year.

The mistake was picking that Chargers game to see what they had in Nathan Peterman because they have such a good front seven that I don't know I think they set him up to fail I would have rather done it the next week they play at Kansas City this week and I like Kansas City's

defense just isn't nearly as good as the upside of their Chargers defense. But listen, Buffalo has spent the whole year getting rid of guys and not wanting to make the playoffs. And obviously they just don't want to make the playoffs. The problem is this guy Peterman, the last throw, the last pick that he had was probably the worst throw of the year, right? And it was way up there. They were all bad.

It was 12 yards. It's like the receivers giving up as the ball's going over his head. It was really bad. I wish they'd put him back in, though. But listen, Major League, remember Major League, the movie with the hard-ass owner? And she just wants to run that team into the ground, and then it turns around, and they're great. Now, the Bills were not great by any means, but, you know, two idiots

like you and I, we just sat and read the schedule for the rest of the year and see that you could make the playoffs at 8-8, and not that Tyrod Taylor was going to beat the Chargers yesterday, but you definitely have a better chance at 5-4 going into that game

to make the playoffs than Nate Peterman. Let him win the game. I know you're getting rid of him. I know they're getting rid of everybody. Let Nate Peterman win the job in the offseason. Yeah, or pick a different week to do it. It's weird. I think it was one of those unanimous everybody agrees

that that was a dumb thing to do it that way. But I don't know. Tyrod Taylor was not good this year. He just wasn't. Well. But, you know. How dare you crap on my captain of the week. I crapped on it after the segment.

The really egregious one, the one that makes no sense. If we did our top four, I can't believe you didn't sign Kaepernick during the season teams. Yeah. Green Bay, who is still somehow 5-5, who has a path to the playoffs, amazingly, because they could lose this week at Pittsburgh, but then they're home for Tampa at Cleveland, and then people think Rodgers can come back week 15.

So they could be 5-6 and actually run the slate and go 10-6 and maybe make the playoffs. It's just hard for me to believe Kaepernick wouldn't have been better than Brett Hundley, and they have Brett Hundley in practice all the time. How do they not know that he's this bad? That was the other one. That was the other one who had three picks than Brett Hundley. And they have Brett Hundley in practice all the time. How do they not know that he's this bad? That was the other one. That was the other one who had three picks, Brett Hundley.

And he was awful. Like, really, really, really horrible. Really bad. Another team that's 5-4. Not saying that Hundley shouldn't have started that game, because, you know, of course he plays decent against the Bears when I bet the Bears on the money line last week. Week before, he was awful on a Monday night against the Lions.

So then he skipped the game and it was terrible this week. But does anyone know Hundley's backup? Talk about a team that's giving up. Do you even know? Is it Tolzien? Guy named Joe Callahan. Oh, yeah, yeah. Second-year guy at a Wesley College.

Yeah. They have no plan. They don't want, they're like, that's it, Rogers. Just shoot some more commercials. You're not coming back until next year. We don't have any interest in competing. Very weird to me. That's pretty bad.

I think there's a group of guys, and Kaepernick's definitely in this group. I think Brian Hoyer's in this group. Tyrod Taylor. There's a bunch of guys that aren't good enough to be a starter, but are definitely overqualified to be a backup. And if something horrible goes wrong and you have a decent team like Green Bay, there's five or six guys that are perfect for Matt Moore's another one. Matt Moore came in yesterday and almost saved the Bucs game.

The guys that are just decent, that can make plays, but you wouldn't want them as your starter. And Brett Hundley is not one of those guys. He's just not good at football. And I don't understand what these teams do for 12 months a year that they don't know that he's not good enough to be able to hold the fort. Like, why even have a backup quarterback at that point? I'm with you.

I'm with you. That said, I do think Colin Kaepernick is going to get the last laugh here. He's going to settle for $15 million of this collusion lawsuit, and no one's ever going to have the chance to see how bad he really was again. So good for Colin Kaepernick. It's true. We'll never know. The upside of Colin Kaepernick has now transcended what we actually remember those last three years. Because remember, we used to bet against him two years ago.

We were betting against him all the time. I still think he would have been better than Brett Hundley. Should we be able to sue because we'd make money betting against Colin Kaepernick and now we're not able to do so? We've been losing our shirts since. I think we should get in on this lawsuit. We should sue each other for doing a three-team tease with Andy Reid in a 45-degree wind giant stadium.

We're doing it again by the way we're going to get to the games but we're going to get a teaser this week okay yeah

let's do Thanksgiving Thursday night or Thursday the whole day three games two of them are excellent one of them is not excellent actually

excellent's a strong word two of them are exceedingly watchable and then the third one is not watch. Actually, excellent's a strong word. Two of them are exceedingly watchable. And then the third one is not watchable at all. But first game, as always, Detroit hosting the first one. Minnesota, Case Keenum, feeling good about themselves. I have the Vikings as a three-point favorite in Detroit. I pushed out on this and made it a pick i could i went back and forth

you have minnesota by three minnesota's favorite by two so you get that okay this is a strong first game it's not not a lot of times where both teams are over 500 and one team obviously being the lions always but it's a good enough game that you can put off a lot of family conversations because the game will be good enough that you can justify it. And I feel like the next game is like that too. The third game is going to be trouble for a lot of households in America because it's such a bad game. And that's really when like, you know, the touchstone, the hot buttons of Donald Trump,

LeVar Ball, all these different conversations that could lead to somebody whipping a turkey at somebody else. That's going to happen in the third game. Just the fact that it's Washington in the third game is you'll have gone five hours without talking about Trump.

It's like, what's the night game? It's like, oh, Giants at Washington. Speaking of Washington, don't you think Donald's getting an unfair shake here? Right. That's it. I like what he's done.

He's drained in the swamp. He's growing into shake here. Right. That's it. I like what he's done. He's drained in the swamp. He's growing into the role. Yeah. Here's my suggestion for Thanksgiving, which is the same suggestion I had last year. Any family member over 68 years old, just don't bring up politics. Just don't.

Yeah. Just don't. Everyone over 68 should just get a free pass on Trump, all the Harvey Weinstein stuff, whatever. It's not going to end well. They're not going to have an opinion that's going to work out, probably, would be my guess. I don't know how many listeners we have, but do us a favor. Please email us if you convinced one of your relatives to like or dislike Trump, whichever way they were going.

If you went the other way with them. If you change their mind on Thanksgiving evening, let us know. I bet we don't get too many of those. Yeah, if you have a relative over 68 years old at your Thanksgiving table, if you've changed their mind politically, send us a long email about how you did it

because I can't wait to hear about it. Next game. This is a good one. It's a borderline loser leaves town match. Yeah. Cowboys home for the Chargers. I'm with you. I think Dak Prescott's hurt.

That did not totally affect my line. Dak Prescott's either hurt or he's having a nervous breakdown, but he was awful in that game. I have the Cowboys by three over the Chargers. That's exactly what I had it. This game is a pick, Bill Simmons. Wow. Pick them.

I do want to say Jay Ajayi is going to get some crap now for saying the Cowboys quit after the third quarter. Yeah, they did though. I don't think Dallas should see that as anything but a compliment. They quit that halftime. I don't even think they heard the clapper speech. Maybe the clapper was clapping through his halftime speech, but that's when they quit, not after the third quarter.

So thank you for that, JJ. I put a video that I just added Lombardi and Tate. Prescott, through one of his 30 horrible passes yesterday, just grounded the ball on third down and walked off sadly. And they cut to Garrett just clapping. And it was so fucking funny. I was just dying. My wife's like, why are you laughing, Sarge?

I'm like, ah, you don't understand. This coach Dallas has, nobody knows what he does. He just claps. And I had to explain the whole thing. She didn't get it. And then it gets even worse for Cowboys fans. Like after the game, following him, the coach usually shakes the opposing coach's hand. He goes, beelines to Zach Ertz and like all smiles, like all smiles.

Like, hey, as if like, hey, he almost whispered in his ear, you'll get us next time. Very strange. I don't know what goes through this guy's head. Is it possible they would fire him if they lost this Thursday game? No. I think Jerry Jones has bigger fish to fry. I don't think it's happening. He's very focused on the higher-ups in the league, not his own.

He should be, though. Yeah, if you're having Thanksgiving with Jerry Jones, don't talk about Trump, LaVar Ball, or Roger Goodell. Stay away from those three things. All right, Thursday night, I think they thought this was going to be a good game. They were wrong. Washington, a team that now no longer has any running backs on their roster

other than this Perrine guy who is available in our fantasy league on like Friday night hosting Eli and the Giants who have scaled their offense back now to basically trying to make every game 12-10 9-7, 13-10

16-9 it'll be great, it'll be a barn burner. Can't wait to watch this one. I have the skins favored by 7.5. We're going to split it because it's exactly 7 and I had 6.5. That's pretty fair,

I would say. I would not recommend America putting the skins in a tease. I think the Chris Thompson thing, for some reason I watched a lot of Washington this year. I don't know why. They were involved in a lot of entertaining games. Thompson, I thought, was their best player. Yeah, he does it all.

Maybe the stats didn't 100% reflect it, but he was their only running back who could block. He was their most dangerous third and long guy. He just was their big play guy. I think that team's in a lot of trouble. I'm impressed with the way they compete, though, the Redskins. I really am.

Their receivers didn't pan out. Anybody who drafted any of them in fantasy knows. Terrell Pryor got iced. Terrell Pryor got iced. Terrell Pryor, Crowder, you know, this Doxon is stepping up. Jordan Reed hasn't played in forever. If they were in the AFC, you

would want this team to be the sixth seed, right? Like, we'd be talking about, oh, the Chargers and Redskins, they're fun. I hope one of those two are the sixth seed. But, yeah, I agree. Don't think of betting them too heavily on Thursday night. Hey, if you're like me and you're not so great at planning ahead, I've got some good

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Hey, if you're staying somewhere in the holidays and Uncle Tommy's really annoying you about the Trump stuff, go on the hotel tonight. Just grab a hotel last minute like i'm out of here where are you going i'm out i can't take it i'm out use the hotel tonight app uh download it right now and uh and there you go um okay we're going to sunday which by my calculations has one good game ram saints which we already discussed that is our marquee game of the week Sunday, which by my calculations has one good game, Ram Saints, which we already discussed.

That is our marquee game of the week. It is probably the only game you want to watch all day Sunday. There's no buys this week. I don't know how we don't have more good games, but we don't. It sucks because how great would Green Bay at Pittsburgh have been? That's a Sunday night game. That would have been a lot of fun. The schedule makers counted on a lot here.

But, yeah, nothing good. I have the Rams laying four points to the Saints of New Orleans. I said it was three, and it's two and a half. They like those Saints. Yeah, I think that's a mistake. Yeah? I like the Rams this week I still the Saints outdoors you know

I just need to see them do it a little more often I will say I meant to bring this up to you we should monitor those rookie of the year odds a little more carefully because it seems like in September the odds get way out of whack

with one or two people and then in November December somebody else ends up being that runaway favorite Kamara Kamara's odds in September must have been like 200 to 1 right listen they were after Watson got hurt three weeks ago that he was 15 to 1 I mean all we do is just yell about stuff and we never do anything on the front. We win, but he's, yeah, he's minus one 50 now.

And for net is plus one 10 and hunt is four to one hunt. It was a big favorite. Uh, the first three weeks, I would say it would have been inconceivable in September that hunt Watson or four net weren't going to win rookie of the year. Tate, who would,

who would you have read hunt Watson, Watson, or Fournette, if I had said all three of those guys aren't winning the rookie year, what are the odds you would have given on that? 50 to 1? Yeah, something like that. 100 to 1. Yeah.

I remember I really liked Kamara because I watched them play in the first two weeks or first three weeks. And Jamie in our fantasy league had him. And I was trying to figure out the right way to approach him to try to steal kamara from their roster and my team sucked so bad i didn't have the right trade but you could see it it was is the even in the first four or five games you could see that he was super talented and it was almost like they weren't using him enough and And now they're using him.

Now they've kind of unleashed him. And I would argue that the Ingram-Kamara running back combo, that might be the top combo right now, right? It's one of the top in the last 10 years, I think. And I don't know what happened to Ingram either. He's a seven-, eight-year vet. And he's got an MVP look to him every week. It's very strange. We've all had him, right?

You've had Mark Ingram on your fantasy team. He's one of those guys that we've all had. We've at least had a cup of coffee with, and now he's this dominant running back. Yeah, he's good for five touchdowns and, you know, whatever. 80 yards a game, five touchdowns a year and 80 yards a game, but just an explosive running game all of a sudden. Fun to watch.

So that's our best game. The Poopfecta is a burgeoning list this week. I had four games in there. You could have talked me into six. The worst one, as usual, the Browns are involved because they have to be. They're playing in Cincinnati, and I have the Bengals laying nine points to the Browns. What do you have?

You're going to get it. I went high. I said 10.5. It's 8.5. And the Bengals already beat them, what, like 31-7 or something? Can we talk about one of the great covers of the last five years yesterday, the Jags? Really good. Really good. Really good.

They're up six, laying seven and a half. I had the Jags in the Super Contest, which I'm still kind of lingering in the Super Contest somehow. I'm like 31 and 22. And yeah, I'm 31. If the Falcons cover tonight, I'm 32-22. It's pretty good. I'd be like four or five back.

How is that possible? House and I have three 0-5 weeks, so we're looking for a different kind of record. How is it possible that I've lost money all year, but I'm 31-22 in the Super Contest? But the Jags were one of my picks. They get the Kaiser fumble, and Fowler's running it back for a touchdown,

and the referees blow the whistle, which they never do. They usually let it at least go, and then they decide. But no, no, this time they step in, and of course he did fumble, and they took a touchdown away, and it almost seemed fixed. It was so fishy. And then you just kind of have to cross your fingers and hope for the gambling gods to take over. Jags were in three terrible plays.

They're so terrified to let Bortles do anything and then they punt. Kaiser gets stripped. Guy should have covered in the end zone for the safety, which would have been a Jacksonville eight, but the Browns still would have been in the game, but no, Jags get a touchdown. Phenomenal win.

Lombardi said on his podcast with Tate yesterday that the casinos were going bonkers. I can only imagine. Great stuff all the way around. One of the best covers of the year. It's funny. I was excited because I had the Jags too, minus 7.5. But I'm thinking if they get a safety there and not a touchdown,

they're up 8 and they play defense, which they didn't play any of in the ensuing drive. And then, like, Kaiser got to, like, the 25-yard line, which was scary. Yeah. And then, like, a lame duck on fourth down. Have we heard Kaiser Soso? I got that on Twitter the other day. Kaiser Soso.

Yeah. That's almost a compliment. Yeah, you're right. At this point, that's very generous. I will say, as somebody who has now lived through the experience of laying points with the Jaguars, it was, and this isn't like I'm not exaggerating this, I honestly felt like I had a better chance to score

when their defense was on the field. Yeah. When they were up three or six, I wanted Kaiser to get the ball back because I felt like the Jags had a better chance to score when their defense was on the field. Yeah. When they were up three or six, I wanted Kaiser to get the ball back because I felt like the Jags had a better chance to put up points with 11 defensive players in the field over Blake Bortles. That's how bad Blake Bortles is.

I feel the same way. Kaiser also had a third and two and he converted and I wasn't even bummed out. I was like, okay, let's have him. He could have the ball. And then the very next play, he was picked. So, yeah. Guys are so hilarious.

I'll get that guy's name. I'll give it out next week. But, yeah, it's really good. Speaking of Bortles, he is playing Blaine Gabbert in Arizona. Blaine Gabbert's revenge game. We've had some really horrible revenge games that have been kind of fun, like Case Keenum against the Rams yesterday

is the best possible version of it. This is probably the worst possible version of it. Blaine Gabbert seeking his revenge against Blake Bortles. And I can only imagine how horrible this game's going to be. Jags, I have laying four points to Blaine Gabbert in the cards.

Blaine Gabbert has had this game circled on his calendar because of a forwarded one since March of 2014 when they unceremoniously let him go for a six-round draft pick. I think you're going to get this. I said, what did you say, four? Yeah. I said three and a half. It's four and half so right right in that vegas zone that you like so blink abbert i had that game on yesterday blink abbert wasn't it wasn't horrible wasn't i would say he was a at least two notches above the hunley peterman all that those guys so he made a couple throws the cards actually probably should have either won that game or

come damn close, but some weird coaching Arians took the blame after. I think Larry Fitzgerald makes, if there's an award for this, the guy who made bad quarterbacks look good most. I think he gets, I'm not phrasing that

properly. No, I see where you're going. I remember when I was writing, I'm going to say five years ago, when I was writing for, it was either, it might have even been page two, not even Grantland, doing a whole thing about how bad the quarterbacks. Now, it must have been Grantland, because after Kurt Warner, he had this slew of terrible quarterbacks. Remember, it was like the Drew Stanton, John, they had a John. Who was the John Skelton?

John Skelton had one of the worst games ever for a quarterback in the last 10 years. Max Hall was one. Remember Max Hall? Dude, off the top of my head. But he just had a run of, and I remember putting them all down on one list, and this was like four bad quarterbacks ago. Poor Larry Fitz.

Who was the terrible one in the playoffs? I think Tate i think he played your panthers i had them oh that's right who was that guy tate it started with an l what was it uh what's that ryan lindley yeah there you go he was good he was good good times uh so uh the next terrible game and it's hard to believe this is a terrible game but uh i've watched both of these teams play football recently, and they're both terrible. Raiders, home for the Broncos. The Broncos made Mike McCoy the scapegoat today. John Elway seems like he's losing the steering wheel a little bit.

He's in the luxury suite, just pissed off. I don't know. I'm not saying this will happen, but I wouldn't be shocked if he put the pads on again. Really? Yeah. I could see it. I could see him at least, like, I don't know,

throwing some spirals and working his arm out. I think probably he had that in his sights when he left Peyton Manning as quarterback, and somehow that backfired. The guy won the Super Bowl. And now it's – yeah, now it's a closer reality, I think. I have the Raiders laying four to the Broncos. I had four also. They gave it a five.

That's a tough one. That's a tough one. Last one. Denver won 16-10. That was their last win. I don't even remember that game. They beat the Raiders 16-10 on October 1st. I'm not making the Raiders-Broncos a loser-leaves-town match

because I think they've already left town. I think they've got a deal in a hotel tonight, and they're gone. Last one is Seattle at San Francisco. One of my goals next weekend is not to watch a minute of this game. Seattle, I have six-point favorites in San Francisco. This is the only one I hit exactly. It's seven. They're giving a full touchdown in San Francisco.

They beat the Niners at home 12-9. I think it was week two. Yeah, this could be a really good stay away from watching and betting. After Thanksgiving, there's always a really good stay away from watching and betting. After Thanksgiving, there's always a team that sucks that starts becoming frisky and making shit happen and pulling off a couple upsets and ruining some three-team teasers. Yeah. I think the Niners are the number one candidate on my list.

There's plenty of options, that's for sure. There's plenty of options. That bad? One and nine? Interesting. If you start going down the line, I think the Bucs are another possibility. Would you have said the Colts?

They're kind of on the radar though, right? They've thrown some haymakers already. I think the Niners are the, you know, there's some that I would just say no way, but the Niners are in there. All right, we're going to the red zone. The Patriots are home. The Patriots, the schedule fairies yet again. Thank you, schedule fairies, for putting us in the AFC for this entire century.

It's ridiculous. They're home for the Dolph East for this entire century, but it's ridiculous. They're home for the dolphins. You can't make this line high enough. Let's try. I have the Pats by 13 and a half. Yeah. I thought I was going high with 13, 16 and a half.

Okay. Yeah. No one's. I mean, I don't know that it's a 40 to 14 game. Is that cover? I just want to thumb my nose at everyone in our fantasy auction who made fun of me when I, thinking I overpaid for Brandon Cooks.

You guys can all suck one. Why? Because he came out in week 11? He finally did something. No, before he came out in week 11, he was like the fourth highest fantasy receiver in our league. I guess he was. He's been the whole season.

He's been good. He gets a bad rap like he's not a good fantasy guy, and he's been awesome. That surprised me. It's just frustrating watching you if you have Brandon Cooks, right? I guess Gronk hasn't fit in as well. Well, you know what they do with Gronk. Nephew Kyle and I were talking about it yesterday.

As soon as the game is decided, they don't... First of all, they barely have him go over the middle anyway. They're just super careful with how they use him. He was lined up wide a few times. It was interesting to see. It's a lot of outs and stuff that's not

going to put him in the line of danger, which I think is really smart. I think he's probably taken in how many games have we played? 11? I bet he's probably taken five good hits this whole season. They've done a really nice job. I totally approve. He sat one game.

Yeah, you've played 10. But, yeah, you just don't want to lose anyone else. You lost Hogan, Amendola, right? Well, obviously, Bellman. Yeah, they don't ever do the play where he just runs the straight line 45 yards down and ends up two guys land on him as he's diving for the ball. That one's done.

They never run him on the third and 17, you know, button hook across the middle where the safety just creams him. They're very careful about any play where somebody could go at his knees. It's really smart. I guarantee they put thought into it. What a luxury. What a luxury. You don't have to utilize his second best player on the team ever.

That's really fun. Thank you. Falcons home for the Tampa Bay Bucs, who I don't want to say they're frisky yet because I think the Dolphins are probably one of the five worst teams in the league. But at least they're frisky yet because I think the Dolphins are probably one of the five worst teams in the league. But at least they're scoring. And who the hell knows with Atlanta. NFC South battle. I had the Falcons by seven

and I would stay away from this in a tease. You get me here. I said six and it's as high as eight and a half right now. But talk about lose or leave town. They can't go four and seven, right? and it's as high as 8.5 right now. But talk about loser leaves town. Yeah, definitely. Tampa can't go 4 and 7, right, at this point?

Yeah, I think Tampa's, I think they also use the Hotel Tonight app already. They're done? I think they're gone, yeah. I think they're gone. Atlanta just downloaded the app. They're ready to start thinking about maybe going somewhere. I don't know if Hotel Tonight's going to be thrilled

with you using it as a negative. No, it's a positive. They've Hotel as a negative. No, it's a positive. They've Hotel Tonighted it. Well, it's a last-minute hotel deal. Sometimes you need them in the NFL. Chiefs. Chiefs home for the Bills. I assume this is Tyrod Taylor?

He hasn't said yet. It's so crazy. What's funny is that this could be the Tyrod Taylor, I told you you never should have benched me game. I'd be a little scared if I was KC. Right. I don't even think Tyrod Taylor's that good, but if he was ever going to flash it, it would be this game.

It's not like the Chiefs have that good of a defense. Mm-hmm. I have the Chiefs by nine. Don't let me put this in a tease. Man, you're beating me here. I had eight. It's nine and a half. Yeah, it does.

It feels like that line is counting on Nathan Peterman as quarterback at nine and a half. The Bills aren't good. Next one. Man, these are some bad games. Indianapolis is home for the Tennessee Titans. And Colts coming off a bye. Titans feeling good about themselves. This one has the makings.

This could be a topsy-turvy weekend. It does have the makings, but I have the Titans by five. You get me again. I went high. I said six. It's four and a half. You're crushing me this week. And Chiefs, not the chiefs the titans already won

this game when did they play like october 16 36 22 yeah you know someone said there are a lot of bad games someone said you know what do we say like pumpkin patching games is this uh christmas tree shopping or is it two or three yeah christmas tree yeah i like it. Christmas tree shopping. All right. Last one. Here's another one. Tate's Panthers in Giant Stadium to play the Jets. Panthers feeling great about themselves. Greg Olson's announcing games.

He was half decent. Cam's, I watched him Monday night. He killed a tease I did with the Dolphins. He looked like the old Cam. A lot of strutting. They look good. They figured out how to use McCaffrey. Tate, do you hate McCaffrey still? No.

You're kind of in on McCaffrey now. Nothing's changed. Wow. Tate is just a stubborn 25-year-old boy. Tate, is this a trap game? This could be a trap. Another loser leap. Jets can't go 4-7.

I mean, they can, and they will. I feel like without Benjamin, they've all figured it out. Benjamin got hurt already. I have the Panthers by 4. I actually had this exactly. 4-1. Vegas zone. There you go.

Some of these games, the weather is going to become a factor. And I'm kicking myself. I didn't even think about the weather with that Chiefs-Giants game. I should have looked. Once we get wind, all bets are off. Make me look at the weather when we're doing the rest of this. Well, I know, but there was no worse weather than Cleveland-Jacksonville, and that went, you know, took a while, but there was no worse weather than Cleveland-Jacksonville and that went,

you know, took a while, but it went like we thought. It's very strange. You don't know which quarterback is going to respond most poorly to bad weather. But here's the thing, with bad weather with Jacksonville,

does it matter? I would say bad weather is actually probably an advantage for the Jaguars because it's not like they're letting Bortles do anything anyway. Yeah.

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propercloth.com slash BS. Gift code BS. All right. I have one watchable. Oh, we had a reader, by the way, saying that instead of calling the crappy games on this the poopfecta,

why don't we call it the brown zone? Oh, that's pretty good. Oh, that's really good. You like that more than poopfecta? You can go back and forth with it. The brown zone's nice. Brown zone sucks. So the watchables for this week, I only have one game,. Philly is at home for Chicago.

Chicago's been in a lot of fun games. They're just weird. It's a weird team. They've got really good running backs. Their coach does dumb stuff. Their quarterback is like, from play to play, can either be the worst quarterback

in the league or actually look like somebody who's going to be awesome. They're just always kind of in the mix. I feel like this game's going to be fun. I have the Eagles by 10. Yeah, I went 10 and a half. 13 and a half, Vegas says.

They don't think Philly's capable of a letdown game. I might agree. I guess we should probably, I wonder if one of the readers out there, send us an email at themailbagattheringer.com if you for some reason know the answer to this these teams just covering high spreads week after week

not the Chiefs no but like the really good teams like the 15-1 14-2, 13-3 type teams because I think that's where the Eagles are headed this year how many times do they just have double digit wins? It's probably a lot, right?

So you almost can't make this line high enough. But on the other hand, they're due for a shit game. What if we just bet the Eagles, the Saints, the Patriots, and the Steelers the rest of the year? You think we come out on the short end of that against the spread? The Steelers worry me. I'm not sold on them. These are the

good teams, I think. I just don't want to... People like taking underdogs and everything. You're rooting for a shitty quarterback. You're rooting for Fitzpatrick to throw a touchdown in the fourth quarter. It's nice to be able to say you picked an underdog and you covered the spread and everything, but

not a great rooting interest. So you're saying going back to 2004, our favorite gambling year of all time when we won three team teasers for like 11 straight weeks until Tom Brady would fall apart in Miami. Sunday night, Steelers-Packers. This was

one of the top five games of the year until Aaron Rodgers put 13 pins in his collarbone. Yeah. I have the Steelers laying 12 points. Probably not high enough. Not high enough. You still get it. I said 10.

I don't know what I was thinking. 14. Giant spreads this week. Oh, look at college, too. Forget it. Giant spreads. Monday night. Oh, look at college, too. Forget it. Giant spreads. Monday night.

By the way, I don't see any scenario where Brent Hundley does well in that Sunday night game. I'm just going to say that. Monday night, Ravens home for Tom Savage and the Texans. A rare situation. Tom Savage two weeks in a row, the best quarterback in the game. It's weird, isn't it? Is this the Uncle Tommy you were talking about that might have to go hotel tonight? Uncle Tommy Savage?

Because I think this is a loser-leaves-town match, too, for Texans, at least. First of all, he's Macho Man Tommy Savage. Second of all, I think the Ravens can get to 10 wins with their defense, as amazing as that sounds. I just can't believe it. At the worst-case scenario, they could get to 9-7. Their defense is really good. I have their defense in fantasy.

They've had three shutouts. Yesterday, they had 28 points or something. They know what they're doing on D. Three shutouts, and that doesn't include the drumubbing they put on the Steelers, right? Yeah, it does not. It crushed them, too. So I won this week. Well, finish me off. You didn't say a line here, but

you're walking away from the table? I have such a big lead, I'm not even making a guess. Ravens by five. All right, well, I'm going to win this game at least, but not good enough for the week. I said six and a half.

It's seven. Yeah, a lot of giant, big, big spreads. Philly, Chicago, Patriots, Dolphins, Steelers, Packers. Really none of them. And KC's hovering around 10-2 over Buffalo. Wow. Wow. We did it. for parent corner america's favorite segment still not sponsored no sponsor for parent corner somehow you want to go first

yeah i could go first you haven't done this in a while because uh you were smart you had a couple kids and then you you were done and i i had a couple kids around the same time as you really within like a month of each other i think both kids and then one flit past the goalie and uh now i have a three-year-old i actually think the goalie was pulled i don't even think of it flip that but anyway the goalie was drunk you have to go to these do you remember these thanks thankful for daddy things like yeah the donuts for daddy kind of thing and the kids so you go to their preschool class and you sit on these very these tiny tiny chairs and somehow they might big fat ass fit in this chair and it and it holds you and all the fathers are there and they're you know you're

about to have stale donuts and then your your kid presents you with basically a Mad Libs thing about how he feels about you. And it says, like, my daddy, his name is Sal. He is 69 years old. He thinks I'm 69 years old. I feel like it, but I'm not 69. He is as big as a train set. What kind of response is ideal for that? He is as big as a... You would never do that for mommy, right? But anyway, I'm as big as a train set.

Right, right, okay. His hair is black and his eyes are green. Wrong, wrong. His favorite food is mac and cheese. Wrong. He likes to play trains, again with the trains, for fun. Wrong. Never touched a train. My favorite thing to do with him is make colors. What does that even mean kid i'm gonna have to pull him from this school i make colors and if i could give him anything it would be a train and i love him because i love him i love him because i love him no reason he's dad i have to love him so i love him but uh so i show this to my wife and i was like this is crazy he He's like one for 15 in these mad lids. And she's like, well, you're not spending enough time with him.

So the moral of the story is if they ask you to go to one of these Donuts for Daddy things, just run as fast and as far as you can. I like how it got flipped on you. That was unbelievable. I know. This is awful. I'm as big as a train set. Give me a break with these freaking trains.

Unbelievable. I think you and the Falcons are the number one candidates for hotel tonight this week. Both of you guys may be in the app. I'll take it. My parent corner is this weekend was my friend Ness's 50th birthday party. He lives in San Ernesto. So my wife and I went down there for the whole weekend. And we left our kids with our friends, Anthony and Gabby, who we've known forever, who sometimes

they'll stay over and whatever. So they're in charge of the kids. Normally, when you leave your kids, you you know at least when they're younger it's it's devastating for them right it's the worst thing that's ever happened when you're coming back like and then you come home and they're they're running and it's like a hallmark commercial when you come home they're so excited to see you oh my god you gotta call them eight times when you're gone check in like they're you know worried about them because their mom and dad aren't there. Oh no, those days are over. Gone for two days, texting my daughter, doesn't text back,

FaceTimed a couple times, couldn't be less interested. One time FaceTimed my son, he was playing video games, gave me the, what do you want? That was a good starter. Good to hear that from my flesh and blood, who's going to be in charge of my demise someday when I'm dying. They had the best time ever. All they did was they did whatever they want. God knows what they ate. They went to Daddy's Home 2, which they thought was fantastic. They just thought it was really terrific. Great movie. Might be the second time my son has seen Daddy's Home 2, which they thought was fantastic. They just thought it was really terrific. Great movie.

Might be the second time my son has seen Daddy's Home 2. He's seen it twice in a week. That's really replaced the Adam Sandler grown-up. Not a trilogy, but I guess those grown-ups 1 and 2. Daddy's Home 1 and 2 is now in there.

I don't know if you've seen Daddy's Home 1, but it's atrocious. Daddy's Home 1 and 2 is now in there. I don't know if you've seen Daddy's Home 1, but it's atrocious. And Daddy's Home 2 is by all accounts way, way, way worse and has Mel Gibson in it. Kids loved it. They convinced them to go get – there's this like Korean ice cream place. They had these bubbles. I can't remember what they're called. They're like these bubbles,

powder bubbles that shoot out. It's like ice cream, frozen ice cream. Basically they went there. So they watched me. God knows how late they stayed up. Who knows? Uh,

and then we came home yesterday and, one of them didn't get off the couch. And then the other one gave that kind of the half-hearted hug and went away. And that was it. It just seems like, you know, when it ends, it ends, Sal.

Yeah, well, listen, as a man of 69 years old, I could tell, and as big as a train set, I could tell you these kids are better off without us.

I think that's all you need to know. I don't think you're wrong. But yeah, it's a little bit of an ego blow. And then they feel bad after and they do the token. How was your weekend?

But you know, they don't care. Right, right, right. And really like my kids would have been so much more upset if Logan Paul said, I'm taking down my YouTube videos for two days. Their whole world would have collapsed. But me going away for two days, they don't care. Not to mention I was gone earlier in the week for four days yeah all right they take us for granted sal i know i know maybe they there's you know that's why they're at the kids table thanksgiving maybe you have to move

them further away is is there yeah they probably don't even care they're at their kids table yeah you're eating in the garage this year yeah have you are you getting screeners yet a few of them i haven't watched any yet though what what'd you get you get all the uh getting all like not not getting any of the ones that i'm actually excited about yet get on up wonder woman uh yeah get all those like planet of the apes yeah but nothing uh nothing like Lady Bird? Yeah. We'll review in a couple weeks. Yeah.

We had our first Oscar meeting with Jimmy. You know, Jimmy's hosting again. And it's tough to plan when you don't know what films are going to be nominated. Well, Lady Bird's going to, I think, I think she's going to win some stuff for that. Right. I have no idea. You know when I wouldn't want to be hosting the Oscars? This year. I think that one's I think she's going to win some stuff for that right you know I have no idea you know what I wouldn't

want to be hosting the Oscars this year this is the year I wouldn't want to host what what lines can be crossed I mean

this is like the darkest year ever there are about 500 unusable jokes pitched I can't even imagine and what and what's the mood of the room going to be like?

Like, where are the lines? He could lose the room with one joke for three hours. It could be an empty, it could be all seat fillers by the time February rolls around, you know? Everyone could be in jail. No. Oh, man. See, if Jimmy was here right now,

he would, of course, disagree with us, but no, it's a great time to do the Oscars just because he's a country. We could actually have fun with it. We're going to take some big swings and we'll see what happens. Okay. Good luck with that. What do you have to plug?

Against all odds, it's going to be early in the week. We're going to do this tomorrow night. And Harry is on fire. Another big win with Oregon. Tate, there's no stopping this kid, huh? I'm so happy for Harry. He's climbing mountains on the weekends. He's doing everything.

It's great. What's his weight these days? You know, he's going to win this. He's going to win this stupid bet against me. He has to lose 52 pounds, and he's lost like 39. He has like 80 days left. Oh, wow. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I follow the Parlay Kid, one of the trifecta members on Twitter, who's just getting his shirt handed to him every week. Yeah, right. This week he apologized to his fans on Twitter. He actually apologized for his bet. So good. Yeah, it's pretty grim. It's pretty grim pretty grim we're gonna get it all together uh this week and uh that's against the law it would be like if jim cramer on mad money it's like guys

i'm so sorry about snapchat i really thought i had that one my bad come back next week for more advice come on parlay kid get your shit together. That's right. Good, good. I like it. I like the inspiration. And he's also a huge Cowboys fan, right? Cowboys, Yankees, yeah. He's all over the map. He's making a lot of Cowboys excuses. He's turning into one of my top five favorite Twitter followers. Just a ton of Cowboys excuses.

Almost like he's a member of the Jones family. You got to shake that off. That could be fun. They should adopt him already. Really, what are they waiting for? The Parley Kid. Great, great, great, great nickname. One of the best ones of all time.

You know, he doesn't win parlays. He just named Parley Kid because he makes parlays. He loses parlays. That's enough. Yeah, that's all. It's like a boxer who's like the knockout kid, but he's the one getting knocked out every time. Right, yeah, yeah.

You just have to have knockout involved. Parley Kidd. Come on, step it up, Parley Kidd. There you go. Thanks to SeatGeek. Use offer code BSNBA for $20 off your first NBA purchase. Thanks to Home Depot. Remember, in 1924, Husky Tools started making things for people who make things.

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They guarantee a perfect fit. Go to propercloth.com slash BS. Enter gift code BS to save $20 on your first shirt. Again, propercloth.com slash BS. Gift code BS. How'd you do with your video picks this week, Sal? I'm 2-2 and I have the Falcons. Falcons coming up.

You and I have the Falcons. My best bet, though, was the Rams-Vikings under. Just seemed like they were due for an offensive little bit of a stalemate. You've just been treading water the whole season. I keep waiting for you to get hot. Yeah, yeah. It's all right. Falcons are going to put us over the top season. I keep waiting for you to get hot. Yeah, yeah. It's all right.

Falcons are going to put us over the top tonight. You'll see. Should we go? The hottest you've ever been was two years ago with Neil Everett. Right? That was it. Yeah, I was 14-3 with my best bets. Should we?

I'll get it back. We'll get it back. Should we go see Neil Everett? Should we go see him? Maybe you should go see him. No, maybe you should hug him. Maybe you need some Neil Everett Hawaii karma. You know what?

That's a good idea. That's a really good idea. Just go drop by and give him a hug. Yeah, do the riffraff. I'm going to have to stalk him as he exits the ESPN studios. I don't think I'm allowed in that building. On that note, Cousin Sam, good job by you.

Good job by you. Happy Thanksgiving, fellas. Happy Thanksgiving, buddy. Happy Thanksgiving to everybody out there. We will be back with a couple more podcasts this week, actually. So, until then. I want to see them on the way so I never want to say I don't have feelings with them. On the wayside, on the way so I never want to say I don't have feelings with them.