The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Week 1, Micah Parsons Trade Damage, and an NFL Futures Draft With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: August 31, 2025

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to react to the Micah Parsons trade (3:47), before the return of Guess the Lines Week 1 and Parent Corner (24:51). Finally, Bill and Sal have an NFL futures draft (01:13:56). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Steve Ceruti Get a new phone & lock in a low price with Verizon The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit⁠⁠ www.rg-help.com⁠⁠ to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Bill Simmons podcast brought to you by Fandul Sportsbook, your friend for the NFL and college football seasons. When you are watching this podcast or listening to it a week from now on Sunday night, it's going to be me and cousin Sal doing guest aligns and reacting to week one for the NFL. And if you want to react with us, no better place than Fandul. We have the ringer gambling show going every day now, live noon ET on our ringer gambling YouTube channel. A lot of fanbill stuff on there. We had the

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All right, All right, recording this, it is Sunday morning, Pacific time, year 19 of Guestalines. We are here. We've been doing this forever. Quick story back in the Jamaica Malive days. You were already doing this with one of your friends. But when we worked together, NFL season 2002, we started doing it in like December.

We were sharing an office sitting next to each other. And you just would throw the lines of me, and I would guess them. I remember writing at one point. You know, this would be a great talk show segment someday, not realizing podcasts were coming. Podcast came in 2007. We've been doing it ever.

since. Our 19th year, next year will be year 20, sell. Yeah, I remember saying to you, I was like, this is a great segment. I don't know if it lasts 20 years, but definitely, definitely 19, definitely good for 19. I also don't remember coming into this, a year like this, depressed as I am, but we have a job to do. We got a job to do. No, no, let's talk about it, because we haven't,

the Michael Parsons trade happened near the end of last week after we had done our big over-under's podcast, like less than 24 hours after. and somehow I had miraculously picked the Green Bay Packers to make these Super Bowl, which I feel even better about. We had both gone under on your team, and now it's the only case would be a possible Ewing theory situation, which I don't think you're very excited about.

No, I'm not excited about any of it, and it's all terrible. Like, you know, like, I do appreciate you holding off, like, on the snark and texting me, because that oftentimes is the worst part of this, like, which of your friends and which you need to respond to and whatever. But as far as like the trade, I don't think it's good. I, you know, I'm used to the other terrible Jerry. At least he was predictable, you know? Yeah.

And now it's like, you know, it's like if my kid gets shitty grades every semester. It's like, all right, what am I going to do about that? Oh, now he's stealing catalytic converters? Well, time out. All right. Now we've got to do something here. So I don't know. I made a list of 12 reasons.

This trade sucked. And I'm not going to bore people with them, but they're all solid. Are you going to give them now? No, I'm not going to go through it because it's not. You can't do the clip notes? I'll tell you the biggest one is his timing is always the worst. Even if you like what they got, right? They could have gotten more in March.

They could have gotten more in June. They could have gotten more. Either he waited too long or he didn't wait long enough. Like if he had waited four weeks, I guarantee Micah Parsons, and we were going to lose probably two or three of those four anyway, I guarantee Michael Parsons getting to hit it a million and a quarter. A game would have been like, all right, Jerry, we'll take your offer, whatever, you know?

So, I don't know. It's just, too late first rounders, if you look from 26 to 32, this is another one. That's where the Packers pick is going to be. Like, it's depressing if you look at the last few years. It's like a slew of Cole Strange types. That's it. And I'm not counting on them. Shots fired.

Sorry, sorry. I have to get, I have to go back at you. I don't. I thought we were talking about your team. You're doing a good job. Yes, no. No, but I'm not counting on them to do a good job packaging those picks or doing a good job with the free loot.

And, yeah. Kenny Clark is fine. I know he was an all pro, but his best years are behind him. He's 30. So I don't even know what else to say about this. Good job, Jerry. You fucked it up again. Well, today they gave Bland a huge extension, like $90 million.

So it's like, well, now that we don't have to pay Michael Parsons, we have more money to overpay some of the other players in our team. I don't even know if he's the top 20 cornerback. Great job, Duran. You didn't hold out. You played that perfectly. Hopefully you could stop the run because that's what. important here um here's you mentioned the leverage piece this is the part i had a lot of thoughts obviously

we haven't done a podcast since this happened on this podcast at least but um if you just did like if you if you fed it to a i if you fed it to jet chat gbt whatever the f it's called and you said when will we have the least leverage in a micha parsons trade right it would when would it be the least helpful to us and make the least sense you would say the end of august right where it's like, you've already missed last year's draft. You're already six months away from whatever draft picks you were going to get anyway. And you're probably not getting a player

who can help you more than Parsons this year. So worst case scenario, you just roll this over. You play chicken with them all year. He comes back eventually. You have them for this year. And then trade him in March. Because the thing I was talk about with trades is like, is this trade still here six months from now?

Like, guess what? The Packers are still doing this trade in March. Oh, we have to give up just two mediocre first rounders and a guy in his 30s from Michael Parsons. Yeah, we'll do that in January. We'll do it in February. We'll do it in October. Would he have had more leverage in October? Probably. It almost just seemed like they didn't want to deal with it anymore and he's old and he's like, I'll show him. Yeah, you showed him. You're probably showing him in the Super Bowl and he got a giant contract. So what was the point of this? Right. And And, you know, okay, the one thing I'll say is, oh, the whole team hated them.

I don't even know if that's true. But the front office hated them. The players hated them. The podcast really changed them. The podcast, remember what happened with the Royals, right? Harry and Megan, whatever, everybody loved. They did a podcast. Everybody hate them.

Okay, maybe there's something to that. Did they do a podcast? I don't remember that. I don't have to look at up. No, they actually did the podcast. But maybe we could check that while we're doing this. Definitely know Harry didn't do the podcast. Right.

You got paid to do the podcast. That's what happened. Yeah, I know. did the fight. Anyway, go ahead. No, so, but you're right. Like, yes, wait longer. You waited too long, but now wait even longer. And what's the downside? All right, maybe he could tear his ACL while holding out playing pickleball or something. That would suck. Then his value. The odds are one and a thousand that that's happening. And Shepter said at least one team made, other team was like, oh, I was interested. We would have, we would have given more for Michael Parsons. And Jerry himself said 15 teams contact them. Like, that's a lie, because then you would have gotten a better offer. than what basically, like, Khalil Mack fetched. It seemed like it was six teams. Albert Breer, I thought, had a really good kind of now they tell us piece about why they did this. And he said six.

And I'm wondering, like, maybe other teams offered the two first. But they really like Kenny Clark and somebody that we both know who's been a big Cowboys kind of watcher over the years was like the Cowboys get infatuated with guys. That's right. They love their players. Like when you got, when you signed Mingo, it's like, oh, we've always. always loved Mingo, when you traded for Roy Williams. Our scouts loved them. And they probably like Kenny Clark for like eight years.

And they're like, oh, finally our chance to get Kenny Clark doesn't mean you do the trade. This really reminded me of the Mookie Betts trade, not to bring a Boston team in this. But when it was clear, like they weren't going to figure out the contract, they just didn't agree on what his value was. But they also could have kept him for one more year, had him play out his contract year, and then just taking the draft picks for him. him when he went somewhere else. And instead, they were like, nope, got to do this now.

And they made a fucking terrible trade. They got Verdugo and Wong and Jeter Downs. They got 11 cents on the dollar. I would have taken it for the year. Kenny Clark, Verduco, I would have taken it for sure.

But we didn't even get two first row picks of that trade. Yeah. But it reminded me of that where when it happened, everybody, there was no Zag. And that was the funniest thing

about this Michael Parsons trade. There was no Zag. There was nobody like, actually, here's why this makes a ton of sense for Dallas. Like when everybody who follows football, covers football, cares about football, is like, that's the dumbest trade I've ever seen. Yeah. Probably not a good trade. Yeah. And they extended other players because of like the DAC extension doesn't really make

sense now, right? Like the CD extension doesn't make sense now if you don't have Micah there. Like that you now have to replace one of if not the best player at that position for the next few years. And the thing, the difference with Mookie Betts is Mookiee had one more year, right? He was playing out his contract year. Cowboys at Parsons under contract for a year. Franchise them forever. Franchise them twice, right? So that's why waiting longer, I think we agree.

This is a way to go. Not taking advantage of, I get it. If they're like, it's too much money. We don't think he's worth it. It ruins the seller cap for our team. Cool. But you still had them under contract for this year. Yeah. You still had a chance to be good this year. You still had a chance to be good.

move it to October and have some team that doesn't realize that they were going to be good and they're good. And they're like, we'll give you two firsts and a second. Right. You know, I just, I thought it was so crazy. And I feel bad for you because I know you love the Cowboys. We went to, we went to the stadium together. It's been a long time for you. That Cowboys documentary came out. You came on here about a couple weeks ago and we talked about the glory days. And a big piece of that. I kind of like Jerry a little more after that. Right. I was like, yeah, nice appreciation.

But I think he was like, oh, everyone thinks they know me. They think I'm going to give in at the last second. Uh-uh. So now maybe that was his thing. Like, I'm going to throw a little curveball here just to fuck with people. Well, this was not a curveball. This was a slatter in the dirt. And you can't recover from losing a guy that's good.

It certainly took the Red Sox four or five years. I mean, there's eight guys that really truly matter in the entire league. And you're talking about any position, you know? And the fact that he wasn't, like, Miles Garrett was available for a split second. But he's, what, four years older than Parsons? Even the stupid Browns, even the stupid Browns knew to sign their best player. Right. That's the thing.

It's usually when these guys become available, they're still not arrow pointing up toward like the apex of their career. They're usually like, ah, they probably peaked two years ago, but they can still be at near that level for a couple more years. this was like the rarest chance you could ever have of getting somebody that hasn't even maybe been the best version of himself yet you know and I think then to trade them in the NFC is the other thing that has to drive nuts you're like really you can't just send them to fucking Denver or Tennessee or

somewhere anywhere yeah Jerry you have history with Green Bay right like you know first of all the Mike McCarthy stuff all right there was that weirdness there the third and 20 obviously with with Rogers years ago and the You had the Dez catch. Like, stay away from the Packers. They're not in our division, but they're our enemies. He's just a mess. It's a complete mess.

We covered this in the NFC overrunners. You did not like this Cowboys team to begin with from a season standpoint. It was pretty top heavy. Yeah. And now you've lost one of the number one person who made the team top heavy. And you have these picks coming that you don't even get to use for April. It almost makes more sense to zag now and just kind of tank the season. but I don't think they're going to do that either.

No, you're right. They'll be somewhere in the middle and it'll suck. And I guess, yeah, theoretically, if I had them at six or seven wins, what does it matter if they have three or four, right? It doesn't. And you're in a good conference. Like, they could conceivably be one of the worst teams.

You're going to have this Thursday night game that we're going to do and do Guest the Lions where they're playing this awesome stacked Eagles team. And all the announcers, it's going to be NBC and it's going to be Collins where I just, I just can't believe they traded Michael Parsons Al I would rather

slip my throat with a razor blade to do that out like you just know that's going to be three hours of it yeah something's missing with this Cowboys defense I can't put my finger on it is he still with Al

I don't know did you make that announcement Al Michael Mark is it Mike oh yeah come on man

let's get it my first guest the line's mistake Mike Michael Parsons He just wrecks games He wrecks them He wrecks these games

Mike Mike why am I calling you Al all year You gotta correct me by week eight Mike are you How are you back Just a train wreck Listen we're both old enough

To know these trades There's gonna be no scenario Where this is a good trade Yeah none The Packers are going to be One of somewhere between First and 80 I would say in the league, right?

They're going to have at least 10 wins, probably 11. They might even be really good and be like a one seed, which would be hilarious. You play them this year, don't you? Yeah, it's week four. You know, yeah, and I can't go around there. I can't root for them now. So I'll sell some of that.

I mean, if we got off with the pot, I bet some Packers to win the NFC and love to win MVP. So I'm happy to sell some of that at a huge discount to anyone listening. I did that, uh, I did a little more that week once I laid out all the research for our podcast because the odds were still really favorable. Buffalo Green Bay I think was 45 to 1 as a Super Bowl matchup.

This is before the trade or? Before the trade. Oh, you better. Yeah, Love was in the 20 to 25 range. But I took all the league stuff seriously when the Packers thing probably came out 72 hours before that they were really intrigued. And then the day we were taping the podcast, which was last Wednesday, somebody had a report that Dallas was at least listening to calls.

And anytime I hear that, it's like the trade's happening. Because once you're actually like, oh, what do you got? Now you're just leveraging everyone against each other. If you have somebody like Michael Parsons and I call you and I'm like, hey, I'd love to trade for Michael Parsons. You'd be like, cool. You're hanging up. But the fact that they were listening to calls, he knew it was a rap.

I know. I just thought a stubborn Jerry wins over everything, you know. It's funny. It's funny, but the same fellow we talked about who's been in the front office and knows he was like, he was on the road. He's like, what did they get for him? I was like, he said, I said, he said two, two first. I'm like, keep going.

He said, wow, all right, three. I said, no, keep going. Four. I was like, no, go the other way. Go the other way. He's like, you're kidding me. Two? That's terrible.

Can you guess a 30-year-old defensive tackle? How about that one? Yeah, throw that in there. I feel bad going after Kenny Clark. He's a fine player, good player. Yeah, it seems solid. It might be a, everyone loves them in the locker, apparently. I just like, the one thing that I got to throw my body in front of

was people comparing this to Luca Dantia's trade. This was not the Luca Dantia's trade. No. In basketball, you basically need three guys to compete for a title. And one of those three guys, if it's one of the 10 best guys in the league, you always have a chance. Yeah. Football, really, it's the quarterback is the only untouchable position. In any other position, you could talk yourself in a scenario where you could

win that. There was some stuff about how Von Miller was the last elite pass rusher to win a Super Bowl. That was 2015. So if you're building your team around, and this is like, you know, the most important guy in your team, the track record is it is a little harder to win the Super Bowl. You need the quarterback. In the Luca case, Luca is the quarterback. That's like trading Mahomes or trading Joe Burrow or.

whoever. So I can't compare it to that. And the shock value was a 10 because there were not even any rumors about that. Right. And no offers other than this one Laker offer. We didn't know at the time that they were going to miraculously stumble into Cooper flag. And now that's actually a really good trade. So maybe you'll miraculously, maybe can you win the NFL lottery? Have you looked at it? What are the odds? Yeah, I think we could do that. I said we could get Arch Manning probably for a fifth round pick now. But we'll see. Get him, maybe 32. Oh, man.

I watched college football a day yesterday. You would have been proud of me. Nice. And it was kind of boring about, I wish, right? The OSU game was terrible. Yeah, yeah. Arch Maining. So I bet on OSU only because of the,

this seems like a pretty big moment for this guy with the spotlight and being in Ohio State. But the flip side of that is I parlayed it with Clemson because I don't want to call him out or mention him by name, but Van Lathen told me LSU wasn't going to win and that Clemson was going to kill them. So I parlayed that together. I really like Nussmeyer.

Yeah. I think that dude has it. Like that's the other thing with Dallas and some of these other teams. Like the Saints, if the Saints are awful. And you end up with Nussmeier whose dad played for, you know,

the Saints, whose mom was a Saints cheerleader. Right there in New Orleans. Who went to LSU, who grew up there. And that's like, if I'm New Orleans, I'm thrown away the season, which might be what they're doing. That seems like where it's go.

Yeah, Nussmeyer was the best of the quarterbacks who had a decent matchup. They were good quarterbacks who went against Division 45 teams last year, last night. He seems like a leader. You know, and then I like the fact that he grew up. I was reading up on him watching the game last thing because it just seems like checks all the boxes, but also like has some real charisma. Whereas I thought that was a rough one for Arch. Yeah, Arch was bad.

I mean, what do you have? Like 38 yards going into the fourth quarter. He missed like 10 guys. I mean, and even on that final drive, that third and five throw, the guy's wide open. It's a six yard out and he couldn't hit it. But I know.

The problem with college football is these games don't actually matter. Well, now you lose that game. Yeah, and you can lose the game and be fine. Those two games, both teams, both of them will make the playoffs all four, probably. Well, do you want to do guess the lines or do you want to just quit this season? Listen, I'm happy. I'm excited. I think when you have this look on you,

You don't normally have this look until the Cowboys are one and four in week five or something. I counted Dallas Philly as a loss, so I'm whatever. I wasn't going to go crazy. But going in, I'm happy to be doing this. Like, what a stupid summer gambling this was. Like, what color is the dildo going to be? Is it going to be green? Let's be green.

And then they'll throw it at the women and we'll laugh. This was a ridiculous asinine summer. So let's gamble on football. I'm ready. It was the worst. It was the least amount of sports, I think we've had. all decade. Because even if you go back to 2020 and 2021, COVID 2020,

but then when the bubble came back at some point, yeah, the bubble came back. And then in 21, the NBA season had been moved back because they started it later. So we had that. And then I think, didn't we have the Olympics that year or two afterwards? Then we had World Cup. Then we had, it just felt like this was the first time we had nothing going on.

Yeah, no great soccer, no Olympics this year. The Little League World Series. barely bet on these teams. It's too unpredictable. I don't know. Yeah, it turns out 12-year-olds probably aren't as reliable. Yeah.

We're just watching documentaries about women falling off yachts, off cruise ships. Right. That's all we have. We're a true crime. We're going to take a break. Then we're going to do week one.

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Yes, I did. So maybe there's hope for the Cowboys because the Cowboys win in the, in the NFC East and you beating me and guessed the Lions is about the same on a miracle skill. Before we start there, there's eight Sunday 1 o'clock games because we have a Thursday night game

you're Eagles Cowboys. Then we have Friday and in Brazil, Chiefs Chargers. And then we have eight Sunday games and I'm curious what is how are you going to rank these from a multi-view standpoint? We have Bucks Atlanta

Sincy Cleveland, Miami, Indianapolis, Carolina Jacksonville, Vegas, Pats, Arizona, New Orleans, Steelers Jets, and Giants, Washington. So for me,

obviously, Pats, Vegas has to be one of them, but I also think that's a pretty good game and two new coaches and two new, you know, Gino, new quarterback, all that stuff. Giants, Washington is a must.

I really want to see that game. I'm excited for it. I can't wait. I still don't know what the line is. and then after that I don't know would you have Tampa Bay Atlanta as the third one well you have to have yeah that's in the top

we're picking four right yeah the four yeah it's it's your team it's Tampa Atlanta it's Pittsburgh Jets just from a narrative point of view right you got to see a couple quarters of that do you

field and Rogers going back do you is that going to be like six three in the fourth quarter interesting I hadn't considered, do you? Yeah, but that's what it's about. I would argue the fourth one.

So I think the guarantees are Tampa, Falcons, Vegas, Pats, and Giants, Washington. By the way, you can get all of these on YouTube TV if you get a Sunday ticket. I think I'm most interested in Carolina Jacksonville for the fourth one with the Travis Hunter piece. Are you? Yeah. Let's consider this. Are you? From a multi-view standpoint, I'm interested to see when he comes out.

Like when it's like, oh, third and 11, there's Travis Hunter. Like, I'm just immediately going to be fixated on the TV. Plus, like, if there was ever a setup for Jacksonville to look good as a fantasy team, as a Trevor Lawrence team, all that stuff in week one, it's going to be this Carolina game because their defense is terrible. So I think I'm leaning toward that one as my fourth, but I might be in the minority. It sounds like you would go, you would go Pittsburgh Jets. Well, I go Jets.

I don't think I'd put Giants Washington in there. I don't care about that. But I think you're right about Carolina to Jacksonville. Just a crossover garbage South game. Get it out of the way. Let's see which T-L team wins. Oh, I'm in for Giants, Washington. I think that's going to be a good game.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited for that one. All right, let's do it. Guess the lines. So I give the matchup. Sal and I guessed lines ahead of time. And then Sal's going to tell us the actual line. We did a couple wrinkles for this.

We both sent each other lines like a month ago, because it's become with all the gambling discourse, it's become impossible to avoid the lines, although I've somehow avoided them. So with the caveat, you could move this by a point over the course of four weeks. Like if, for instance,

Dallas traded the best player in their team, that would be a scenario where you could move at one point. Give a better example, something that would actually happen. Or somebody got hurt or whatever. So our first game is Thursday night. Eagles Cowboys, it's in Philly.

I got to ask, why isn't this a better game? Usually this first Thursday night game is a good game. Why isn't Washington in this spot? How did we end up with the Cowboys? The team nobody thinks he's even going to go 500. It's just they have to give them the six pack of prime time games, right? It has to be Philly at home defending champ. And I look through it.

There were some other options that could have gone some of their AFC matchups, but I'm happy with it, get it out of the way so I could fully enjoy Sunday. But you're right. Yeah, this could have been a. Sunday night game in week 10 or something. Chris is going to be calling Mike Al, or maybe just I'll be calling Mike Al. Yeah.

All right. So I have the Eagles favored by nine and a half over the Cowboys. Oh, okay. So you moved that. I moved by that point. I said seven, and it's seven and a half. So I get that. It was actually as low in some spots as six and a half,

and the Micah Trade moved at a point, which doesn't seem to make sense. Like, I don't even know if he was going to play. play this game if he had suited up in Big D anyway. The only thing I can think of, there's been a bunch of week one stats that are pretty good because they have so much good history of bet making and odds shifting all that stuff. Week one divisional home underdogs against the spread since 2010, 23 and 7. And I think that's the only reason that that line's not nine.

But like, how are we not teasing or parlaying the Eagles with something? It's the teaser game of the week and shame on you if you didn't have some college along with this to carry over. But it could also be Kenny Clark's Vandle Revenge game, who knows? Shame on you unless you had Clemson because Van Lathen told you

oh, see who was going to lose. Fucking Van. Never listening to him again. We should mention, so we're doing this gimmick this year that we talked about on the overrunners, the Ringer 107, betting five games per week. And we have six shows going against each other. And on Thursday, I'm going to do my five picks.

You're going to be doing yours. So you're on Ring or Gambling. We moves up around this year. Very excited about it. Ringer Gambling show is Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday. And you're on at noon, every day live on YouTube. And on Tuesday, you're with Tate. On Wednesday, you're with House.

House and Dubundo. And then on Friday, who's your Friday team? DeBundo and Danny Heifitz, and that's where we'll pick R5, right? So we'd show a Pixer 5, that's my. So that's going to be you and DeBund. Bundo. Highfitz is just going to host that part because his fantasy football show is also going to be in Ringer 107.

We're going to have the Ringer NFL show in there. The Thursday gambling show is in there. Shield Capati on the Ringer NFL show. He's in there. And we're making five picks a week. The catch is four straight up. The fifth one could be a straight up or a money parlay, parlay, as long as it's minus 120 or other.

The Thursday night games are not eligible. If they were, I would absolutely be putting Philly money part. L.A. in with something. Right. Interesting. Dallas isn't, what's the scenario where you beat Philly? Like, just you throw, you throw for 430 yards and get like a weird special teams touchdown. That's the only thing I can think of.

I mean, a lot of fumbles on the, like, four push push fumbles like we've never seen before. I don't know how it would happen. Tush push just stops. Kenny Clark's just stopping the tush push by himself. They changed the rule in the middle of the first quarter. Maybe that's it. That's how we win. One thing with you, you do.

have a good special teams and they they shifted the kickoff this year so that it's actually more beneficial to the return guys and you have a good return guys so maybe you'd have to get a touchdown there we'll probably have six or seven kick return so that's good yeah what do you have penciled in for george pickens quits on a route and then uh yells at DAC heading back to the huddle like week four range or do you think he would do this this early i do you said play four yeah yeah yeah week four is out oh there's so much to look forward to Brian Schottenheimer's got it. He's going to have it all under control.

You should just watch the Netflix documentary over and over again. I'm going to do it. All right, Friday night, we're going back to Brazil. I'm proud of you for remembering this. This is one, three years ago, you would have botched this and said, this is at L.A. You know, good job by you. Yeah.

Thank you. Chiefs Chargers. No home field advantage because we're in Brazil. I have no idea if the turf's going to be good. The Chargers, as we discussed in the Overnter pod, with the Rishon Slater out for the year, stomach punch. Right. Which, when you get one of those in August,

it feels like that's just a bad omen for the year. The one thing they do have going for himself, Harbaugh, 5-0 against the spread in week one as an NFL head coach. So there you go. Plus the division head-to-head week one stuff is pretty favorable for the underdogs. I have Chiefs favored by six and a half, would you have? Too high? I mean, you know this is in Brazil,

but you don't seem to know this is in Brazil. I had two and a half, and it's three. It's fine. So you're going to go. I'm a little rusty. You're betting the Chiefs? I mean, you should bet the Chiefs. You were so off there.

I think that line's going to go up to five and a half, six. Wow. Why wouldn't it? Nobody likes the Chargers this year. There was two of our favorite bets was the Chargers under the share. Everyone looking to take the Chiefs. Everyone wants to take the Chiefs from 15 wins to eight. And look, I think why it should be higher,

there's 7 and 0 against the Chargers in the last seven games. I feel like Harbaugh has the most pressure on him as a coach for week one. This is a ridiculous line. I think the line should be at least six. I'll be vindicated. All right. Wow, so you're beating me 2-0 already. I'm a little rusty.

I'm like the Cincinnati Bengals of Guest the lines. The week one, I'm just a mess. There's a cash out button if you want to hit it now. I want to check out of the week. Sunday Marquis. Detroit at Green Bay. Do we see Michael Parsons in this game, do you think? Yes, I do.

Yeah. If we do, he's going to do good. There's some favorable Packer stuff here, including in the first three games of the season since 2019, there, 15 and 3 against the spread. I thought the lions would be favored a month ago. I could only move my line a point. If I really had to do this,

I would probably make the Packers favorites, but I have the Lions by a half point over the Packers. A half point doesn't exist. You can't do that. I had them at one and a half, so I moved at a point, and I'm at a half point. That's not a real thing.

Well, that's my pick. Better team that doesn't exist. Go look at the robot. All right, all right. You win. I said Detroit by one. So whoever you have by a half wins because Green Bay is favored by two and a half now.

Yeah. So I would have guessed if I was in handicapped by the original guess, I would have said Packers by two. Okay. Interesting. So, well, you lost. Take the loss. The week one division home underdogs,

again, 23 and 7 against the spread. So that feels like by the time, And we're doing Ringers Sunday pregame again on Sundays on YouTube on the Ringers Gambling YouTube channel. That feels like you guys will be talking about that as like a rat line, Packers Lions, where everybody's on Green Bay, but the line is like one and a half. And you're like, why isn't this line higher? I'm suspicious of Packers' money, Packers momentum, all that.

I wonder where that settles. Now I look at that. I'm like, wow, Detroit plus eight and a half on teasers, pretty damn good, week one, especially with all your underdog division. things. By the way, maybe we make a blanket statement. Whenever we talk about teasers, everyone else should go do something else. Go clean out your pantry or something. Yeah, because nobody does teasers anywhere. And they don't win. They change the juice too much. Well, we basically do a money parolize now so we could call them MPs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in this case, moving Detroit

from two and a half to eight and a half was, anyway, I'm curious to see where that settles. Can I do a random get up guy? Oh, yeah, let's hear. Okay. I move my mic. Oh, you're making adjustments here. I'm going to yell. I know it's week one, but this is a must-win game for the Green Bay Packers. They cannot lose this game and go one game back against Detroit. It will haunt them the whole season.

Great. Thank you. I love it. Thank you. 500,000 views. Just for that. Must win. Is this a must-win for Green Bay in week one?

Guess what? There are no must-wins until December, but have your. content um the watchables i have one two three four what do you count pat's raiders as a watchable yeah i think so or is that a fairly watchable no it's good all right well i guess i have i have five watchables it's a good week one considering we shot our wad on thursdays and fridays too okay bucks falcons i know we don't like the nfc south but there's a lot of fantasy guys in this game it's a scary stretch for Tampa because they basically have two receivers

they have no worse at least for this game and then Atlanta's missing their starting right tackle blind side protector for Pennix and the guy who is his backup I'm just really interested to see what happens in this game I have I had to move this

oh no I got bucks minus one bucks minus one it is in Atlanta yeah I said Atlanta minus one and a half for all those reasons. They're coming in a little bit gimpy. They're injured.

But you're right or righter. Tampa Bay minus two and a half. So you get that one. We should mention you pick Tampa Bay to make the Super Bowl. I like them to make the Super Bowl. And we talked about this game in particular on our NFC rundown. Like, don't panic. If Atlanta wins by 17 this game, just wait.

Tampa will be there when the cream rises to the crop. And Atlanta will eventually. turn back into the Falcons. I know it's week one, but this is a must-win game for the Atlanta Falcons. They could take control of the NFC South. They have them at home.

They have to get this game. You know, you should do that for all 32 teams, how it's a must win, and then cut it up and then send it out to the various cities. They'd be great. I'm going to, like, almost like, syndicate it? Yeah, syndicate your rant, your get-up rant.

So I put this as a watch, which is ridiculous because probably in five weeks this would be in the poopfecta. But Jags Panthers, just solely because of Travis Hunter, I'm in. And I'm probably, at scale 1 to 10, I'm probably like a 9 on being excited just to watch how where he plays and how that unfolds during a game, but I might be too high. I also think this is the setup for the, every week one, we have a team that looks awesome and fools everybody. right and I think it could be Jacksonville this week

they're home they're playing Carolina bad defense Coker got hurt on the Panthers who I think was looming as a little fantasy sleeper guy right after they traded Adam Thielen so now the Panthers are down down at receiver their defense stinks and I can see the Jags lighting it up and people have been like Trevor Lawrence

has he officially arrived that's like settled down Settled down. He has not arrived. Carolina's defense is terrible. Oh, come on. I have the Jaguars favored by two at home against the Panthers. All right.

I get this. I said three and a half, and it is three. Oh. So I know you out there. Yeah, I think you're right, though. These are two quarterbacks. People want to be good. Make the case for Carolina to win the NFC South after they go one and oh.

Make the case for the Jaguars, even though I have them to win the AFC South. But, yeah, this could be biggest overreact. action game. Yeah, Brown came back for the Panthers, but I'm pretty sure he can't play all 11 positions. I haven't checked that, but I think he's only one of the 11 guys on the defense. 49ers Seahawks is going to be, I mean, the Seahawks, I've gone all in. I think they're the nobody believes in us team. And then you go on the flip side with the 49ers where no IUC obviously, Jennings doesn't seem like he's playing in week one. So they, They're down on receivers.

Seattle's home. I think they're going to be underdogs. I have the 49ers favored by two. And obviously, it's going to be no surprise. The Seahawks will probably be in my ringer 107 on Thursday. You get this. I had San Francisco by one. You had the 49ers by two, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I am by one. 49ers favored by two and a half. Yeah. By the way, I have a theory now. It's early. It's too early.

We're only gone. through like six games. I think two and a half, which we've seen three times now, is the new one and a half. Is the new one and a half? What do we call the one and a half? The mentos? Tick-Tac.

Yeah, because of one and a half calories. Yeah. Yeah. So we have to figure out what two and a half is. We'll take suggestions. I feel like the Seahawks, this is a must-win week one game for them too, but I'm not going to do it because I'm not doing it twice. This is a must-win game for the Seahawks.

Get up! coming up next top five pass rushers um rams texans is just a really good game it's in uh it's in it's in la yeah there will not be a lot of houston fans there i don't did we find out if they're left tackles playing for the rams i guess that's going to be like just monitor all week yeah the blood cots like just it's a stay away for me even thinking about betting until we find out what happens with that guy. Right. I have Rams minus two at home.

All right. You changed that. You shouldn't have. I had two and a half and it is two and a half. Yeah. I did change it. Yeah. I changed it because the left tackle might not play and Matthew Stafford is in traction.

It's so scared of blood clots. Yeah. Traction and blood clots are scary. You've always been weirdly afraid of blood clots. I don't know. This, uh, this feels like a hey Texans defense.

see it. Nice spot for them, right? Little, little shakiness on that Rams offensive line. Stafford maybe not wanting to get hit. Like, let's go get our guy. We got the best secondary in the league. Let's just blanket some receivers. I like the spot for the Texans. I do not like the spot for the next team. The Patriots are home for the Las Vegas Raiders. And I had this penciled in as a guaranteed win about a month ago. I have no idea of Christian Gonzalez is playing. And this is like big topic right now with the pats with uh with on the pats text threads hensch mayer met out of text and be about at 17 different times he's the best part in the defense he's the shut down cornerback um he heard his hamstring a few weeks ago and there's just been kind of radio silence on it so

i would watch that um on the flip side the raiders linebackers are really bad and this could be an immediate trivia and henderson breakout game but it's a little scary that the pats look like you're just Oh, yeah, something scares me about this game. It's scary for you because you're a slight favorite. I'll tell you that. We haven't gone over the number yet. And if you lose, though, you have to change your entire opinion of your team for the worst. So I wish you a lot of luck in the words of James Baby Dal Dixon.

Pat's minus one and a half was my pick. Our new favorite number, two and a half. And I think I get it here. Where is it? Yeah, I said three. It's two and a half. You're killing me. What's your lean in this game?

I think New England I think New England but probably in a stupid way I'm not sure how I might try to buy the win and take the Raiders just in the NFL 2120 where they don't cover

but they win right dumb shit fairly watchables we got Steelers Jets in Jersey a hilarious matchup it's good it's a double revenge game

but neither guy is good enough to get revenge, so I don't know what we would call that. It's like, oh, Justin Fields' revenge game. It's like, is it? And then Aaron Rogers, he could barely move revenge game. I don't know. So no word starts with R.E., but I won't say it. But, yeah, not revenge.

Steelers, I have the Steelers favorite in Jersey by three and a half. Oh, you moved that one too. I did. I went three, kept it at three. It's two and a half. Again, you've got to be kidding me with these two and a halfs. I already lost. It's going to be hard for me

to not want to pick the Jets when we get to Sunday. No, to pick the Jets on Sunday as a home dog. And yet I don't want to. And this is a non-bet. If you bet on this game, you're just desperate to bet on shit. Don't tease this game. Don't parlay it. Just play it straight up if you're going to do it.

it anything is possible in this game this is just sit back and watch it and laugh it's like you're watching dumb and dumber too with the kids you know you don't have you don't need any stakes going in could you see the Steelers winning but winning by a point and not covering

that's a good that's a fun one and what's the cousin Sal special for this game I haven't seen it I don't think they don't have them yet they don't have that yet so that would be have that a week before that would be Jets to be winning at half and then the Steelers to win the game so you probably get about

six to one on that same game parley i'm on fandole right now don't they have the half bets first half spread you do the money line or just the spread oh first half winner yeah do it do it like that if you can it's pittsburgh minus 110 and then we do pittsburgh minus oh no we want to do the other one at minus 110 this is some riveting stuff we'll We'll figure it out. I was going to have to cut at least some of this. Jets to win the first half. Oh, plus 524.

524. Okay. Yeah. There you go. It could happen. Get it off the board. They did it five times of cash last year. Honestly, you know, Fanduel, they just continue to improve the product, but also they're

using some AI. I think they told the AI to factor in the Cousin South special. Did they really? Even if they spit this out at 8 to 1, lower it like by 300. Oh, well, I think that's illegal. I think that's minus 800, two years ago. Is it bad for the network if I sue Fandle for that? Because I don't think that's right.

I don't think they like the Cousin's House special. It's too lucrative last year. Washington is home for the Giants. I just wrote that under this one. Oh, boy. Why do you like this so much? I do. I like this one.

Underdogs of six and a half or more in week one since 2006, 49, and 27 against the spread. we already mentioned that division underdog bet that's 23 and 7 every Giants fan I know and the Giants fans I think are realistic with teams it is not a fan base they've won they don't need to do like the false positive they like they're just like yeah we suck we're never going to win with Daniel Jones I don't like our coach the Giants fans are in on this season like across the board they're like I like the team I like everything I'm reading dart is not is going to be in

by week five. We're going to have this crazy pass rush. We're going to be able to run the ball a little bit. Neighbors is a freak. Dayball's in coaching for his career basically right now. So I have Washington favored by eight. Really? I said six.

I mean, I think your stat that you led with is going to, like they have to keep it between six, six and a half with the underdog in the division. I said six at six and a half. Yeah, just getting absolutely slaughtered. I'd like to apologize. I mean, everyone thinks to the giant fans, they lead with the,

and they have a great defensive front, but those four guys aren't going to score 20 points a game. It is one of those fronts, though, that if they can get a lead or hang around, I think they're in great shape. If they're down 10, then I get a little worried. But, uh,

I don't know, I'd be scared of that game. Every year we have the team in that minus six to minus seven range, get upset in week one. Last year was the Bengals. against the paths like it's just locking down you know what's happening here's another candidate broncos home against tennessee they're in that range of you know be careful uh beonex eight no is a favorite rookie qb is having to play on the road in week one eight and 21 uh straight up 13 and 14

against the spread since 1970 number one pick qb since 1970 in their first start five and 22 8 and 20 against spread. So all kinds of lines. And then the Broncos, when they won last year, they'd win big. I love the Broncos. I picked them to make the AFC title game and win the AFC West. And I have the Broncos favorite by 7.5. Yeah, you stayed with that.

You didn't change it. It is exactly 7.5. I went 7. So you win that. And welcome to the jungle Cam Ward. Yeah, I went big on that last year, the rookie quarterback not winning. And it was Caleb Williams. against will levis i think it was in tennessee i think it was tennessee was winning by 17

and then levis so mad yeah he was the rookie quarterback there yeah he made throws you'd never seen before and that never will to blow that game i think that's why he doesn't start in the NFL that could be it yeah poop fecta i'm putting the broncos in a money line parley i'm just telling you now i hope that line stays around the same i've specifically haven't looked at lines done anything but after we're done with this, I'm in a minute there's going to be some moves. Poop Fecta, Colts Dolphins. It's in Indianapolis.

You could argue this could be in the fairly watchables, but no Jalen Waddle. Not positive who the dolphins starting running back is going to be. There's some A-chain. Maybe play, maybe not. We'll know more of next week. The dolphins have the stink on them, almost to the point that I could see a zag

where they actually start out pretty good and people are like, oh, nobody saw this coming. I have Colts by one and a half. You picked that exactly right. I said Colts by one. And yeah, Dubundo and JJ have a very large stake riding on this game. This is both their teams. This is pathetic.

This is the healthiest the dolphins will be and they're a dog to Danny Dimes. This is pretty bad for them. So we both went under them at seven and a half And we had some people in our life Like watch out bro I don't want to say who it was It was like watch out bro

We're going to be better than that bro They're not even favorite in this game So how are they seven and a half to For over unders Is this can I lock you into a cross off After this game You can lock me into not putting any money in this game Because there's no way I'm betting on Daniel Dimes ever

With the 0-1-1 team, do we cross-off? We like to get rid of one a week. I mean, or do we do, can we cross a bolt-off now? You want me to, you want me to say this is a must-win? I need like a shirt and tie in a jacket for the must-man get-up thing. So you're saying must-win for either team. I think in terms of our cross-offs, which are bulletproof, no cross-off has ever made the playoffs before. Can I, can I nod you in a slightly different direction for this idea?

Go ahead. This to me is like whoever loses first coach five. fired favorite immediately. You're like minus 200 now in that. Yeah. Right? Because like if Stuyken loses this, you're, you're now the favorite. Mm-hmm.

And if McDaniel gets, if they get embarrassed and killed, they're now the favorite. I think that's a good way to go. Yeah. Bengals Browns. Bengals at Cleveland. They have the, that weird, they suck in the first two games of every year. Joe Burrow won a nine against the spread. the first two games in this career.

The Browns, I can't even figure out who's starting and running back for them. I'm in this guillotine fantasy league right now. And it literally could be anybody. It might be Nick Chubb. He's not even on the Browns anymore. And he might be one of the starters. I've no idea who's starting for them.

The Flacco is the QB. There's some Simpson guy involved. Miles Garrett is still there. So congrats to him. It's in Cleveland. I don't trust Cincinnati. I will definitely not be parlaying, teasing the Bengals in any way shit performed. I have the Bengals minus eight.

Okay, I get this. I said six and a half. It's five and a half. Oh, Vegasone. Our first Vegas zone. Yeah, division game, Cleveland, for all the reasons. I mean, he's one in 10, the Zach Taylor in the first few weeks of the season. So I think that's why they have it at five and a half.

I think I said Harbaugh has the most pressure week one. The Zach Taylor is another one. If he loses another one of these clunker games to terrible Cleveland, come on, that's enough. This might make the four box, though. If this is close in the third quarter, we may have to put that on. Somebody's sneaking into the four box from these bad games. Somebody will get bounced. Last one is Cardinals in New Orleans.

This is another one that I'm probably too low. I was stuck with the original pick I had. I think it's higher than, but I'm stuck with what I have to guess. I have Cardinals minus four in New Orleans. It's probably higher. Yeah, why are you stuck? I said three and a half and it's five and a half, so you get it. Wait, I got to add these up now.

One, two, three, four, five, six to one, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, I'm still one in eight six. I thought it would be at least six. Yeah, I mean, what world is Arizona, who I love this year, laying five and a half on the road? I mean, this is, you get beat by Rattler, so be it. I'm putting this on a teaser. counter don't tease kaila murray just don't why are you doing that you can't it's one of the rules it's like one of the foundational rules of the 2020s is don't put kailer murray in a tease you can't

don't do it i like them too much this year this has to be a w all right so if you're doing the symbiotic strategy my symbotics that i created 15 years ago whoever you really like you just have to back them in week one. So this is the perfect spot. My question for this is, if the Cardinals are really good. And we don't know that yet. But in week eight,

we will know that. What would this line? We'll look back. We always look back at these week one lines. They're like, wow, the Cardinals were only minus five and a half. That would be like minus 13 now.

Yeah. So could that be the candidate for this week? Yeah, that could be something like that. Right. The Saints are already tanking. It's not even Halloween. Or it's, wow, the Cardinals were favored by minus

five and a half on the road. How fucking stupid were we? The Saints not favored. Jesus. Remember what the Saints did last year with a more promising quarterback crew there. They scored 40 points in each of their first two games or something against my team and then just fell apart.

We never talked on the over-under pot about your feelings on Kellan Moore as a head coach because your feelings weren't exactly excited as your offensive coordinator. I can't say you were like a giant Kellyn Moore fan. No. No, and I'm happy for him and everything. but this is a, I think this is a worst spot a coach has been thrown into in a long time, right? It is definitely a, I needed a job kind of spot, you know, because you don't ever want to go to a situation with a bad ownership group that also doesn't have a quarterback.

But if you think, like, can I just hold on for a year and then we get Nussmeyer, now I'm feeling pretty good. Yeah. And this was the last spot to fill, right? Because I had to wait for Kellyn Moore and the Super Bowl to end and everything. But there was a point where you're like, wow, maybe Kelly Miller. Moore doesn't want this and nobody wants this job. Maybe they're talking still in May about who's going to coach this.

It's all of a sudden Hugh Jackson is the head coach. Sunday night, fantastic game, Bill's Ravens, it's in Buffalo. You can't do better. No. This is the best possible AFC game from an entertainment standpoint. Sorry, Kansas City. It might be the best game you could just put together, period, for a week one. Ironically, I did pick Buffalo minus two and a half for this one.

yeah i did too and uh it's one and a half so it went back to the old one and a half our friend but yeah this is uh i don't know i'm trying to think of what our reaction is it going to be an overreaction coming on the pod after this if the ravens win by a field goal the new kicker bongs it off the upright at the buzzer and you're going to be like are the raven's a team to beat for the rest of the decade and i'm like whoa whoa calm down yes you're right they are and then everyone kills us i have the raven's a team to beat for the rest of the decade and i have the Ravens losing this game. I mean, when I did all the prep before the season,

I had this as NL. I have them two and two coming out of the first four and then like winning everything after that. As you know, I'm all in on the, this is Josh Allen's year. I picked them to win a, to win the Super Bowl. And I just think you have to win this game if you're the bills.

I wouldn't call it a must win, but this is a good, we're here. The AFC is going to actually run through us this year, and we're going to smack the Baltimore around a little bit. What a great game. I'm very excited. It's very hard to be at home. We talked about it.

This is mid-90s bills again. They have like three losses in two and a half years at home. So I'll see you right after the game live on my YouTube channel that will also run as a podcast. This is a video podcast on Spotify. But we're going, boom, live, ready to go. You won't be sad because the Cowboys will have played 72 hours earlier. Yeah, it'll be so far removed. I can't wait.

Monday night, Bears Vikings in Chicago. Justin Jefferson, mild hamstring strain. Not sure what's going on with him yet. Adam Thielen, age 35, they had to trade for him because Addison's out for three weeks. J.J. McCarthy in a possible Arch Manning spot playing in Chicago. And with a lot of pressure on him and a lot of eyeballs. and yet I think the line is only Chicago minus one and a half. It's Minnesota minus one and a way,

but let me make sure I got this. It's Minnesota minus one and a half and that's what I had. Holy mackerel. So that's what it'll be. And that's a win for me. Yeah. So I promise you I'm going to be taking the Bears in Ringer 107. You can lock that down right now.

Could this be the Levis Williams game from last year where the year two quarterback goes against a year one, quarterback and we just assume that we but then like Caleb Williams sucks this year I don't know I wonder I wonder oh interesting wow I'm really surprised the Vikings are favored because on the over unders the bears are eight and a half and the Vikings are nine and a half right the Vikings are not healthy and the bears are right I think this line shifts I'm going to predict I think by game time on Monday I think this is bears minus one and a half too much so to love here.

Yeah, I don't get that. Rookie QB on the road. Plus, like, the chance to bet on a home dog on a Monday night in week one in a division matchup, like, too many, too many things for that. Sorry, I'm towing here. It's like signing a golf card at the end of the round. You're like, you won't count. Oh, you're like Tommy Fleetwood.

Yeah, I have to sign a out. He's got to make sure I nail this. 10-7-1-0-0 on the year. Okay, good. Now I could talk to Jim. Not a strong start for me. I'm just glad I know the lens. Okay, we're going to take a quick break then, quick parent-in.

And now it's time for draft recap, presented by our friends at Yahoo Fantasy. Yahoo Fantasy, the best place to play fantasy football this season. The season starts on Thursday, September 4th. You can do the new Yahoo Fantasy guillotine leagues. Lois scoring team gets eliminated instantly. You play with their friends with the new draft with Friends mode. You can do a private league, do a public league. Knock yourself out.

Yahoo has everything. It's the best place to play. We did our big ringer. Yahoo fantasy draft snake draft last week controversial I took five quarterbacks I didn't like the options

I had the first pick by the time I got back to me I wasn't that excited about just grabbing one got to the fifth round some guys were gone and I was like screw it I'm just gonna keep taking

awesome guys and then I'll address the QB later and I just rolled the dice Caleb Williams Trevor Lawrence Michael Pennix I just kept kept taking guys hoping one of them hits

like Baker Mayfield hit last year was it a great strategy? I don't know. Did I have fun? Yeah, I did. And if it worked, I look like a genius, which is all I care about. The season is almost here. All you have to do is draft now at Yahoo! Fantasy.com slash ringer. All right, parent corner. We've been doing this for a long time. My kids are grown up. You still have a younger one. For my parent corners this season, I'm going to really have to lean on my parents versus my kids because they're way fun. year and way more interesting.

That's fine. So I'm just, all parents are eligible for Parent Corner. And Sal and I are hitting the point where our parents are old. We're taking care of them in a lot of different ways. And the comedy is just

coming pretty fast and furiously at this point. But you still have Young Harrison entering the sixth grade plus Jack still in high school. And I feel like you have more comedy weapons than I do. So you go first.

Zoe, Jr. in college. I have Archie Jr. in college. Zoe's like a 30-year-old at this point. Plus, if I did a parent corner about her, she'd fucking kill me. Well, that's the whole thing. So that's out. Yeah, you got to, everybody's listening now. Well, I recommended years ago you adopt someone because it's a kid.

And you could still do it. And I could put in a good word for you with our friend Brad, who I got custody of. He's also, he's screaming in another room right now for no reason. I don't know why. He's screaming at the UCLA quarterback last night. like 10 o'clock at night. Captain, how was he a captain? Just nuts.

I mean, and so we get custody of him every Labor Day weekend. And the whole visit is just an overload of beef ribs and orange shastas colon, napping and screaming at commercials. But when you say get custody, it's not like he belongs to somebody else. You basically inherit him for Labor Day weekend. Yeah. Yeah. So Jimmy Kimmel Live is off for a couple weeks, so he hasn't seen people.

in a while so we bring them out so right so and then so and it's always fun kids love them but so i'll give an example but some of the things he says uh well first of all we went for barbecue um the waitress said uh he ordered a beef rib which is his favorite she says it's on the menu and she's like no we don't sell those anymore he walked off he walked off and uh we didn't see him for two minutes and the waitress is like waiting like just waiting confused and he comes back He stood up and left? He stood up and walked off. And I thought it was for comedy.

But then like two minutes. It was like a solid two minutes. I was like, all right. But just wait here because I don't want you to have to come back. And then he comes back. And he accuses her of not looking hard enough for beef ribs. Like, they're back there somewhere. I know they are.

And she doesn't get the joke. And then five minutes later, we had a totally new waiter as it was. So that's just an example. Good idea. Yeah. He's in the basement. He's looking at the shitty little trophies. My kids have amassed over the years.

And he tells them, listen, if you ever choose to commit murder, do not leave your trophies in the trunk of your car because that's the first place the cops are going to check and it's going to seem like you were looking to flee. And so they're like, all right? But my favorite parent corner life advice thing is what he said to them yesterday.

He sits and down. He's like, listen, there are 7 billion YouTube shorts posted by parents where they think their kids are doing something smart or funny. And out of the 7 billion, only 4.000. kids total are smart or funny. So don't ever post videos of your stupid kids. They're not going to be smart or funny.

Nothing against you. It's just math. It's not personal. So that's my parent corner. What did they say? What was the response to that? More confusion, laughing, can't tell. By the way, I more or less agree with that. Didn't you also, you had a thing where you walk to get ribs, but the

bar was too packed, and then Brad couldn't walk back? So you then had to walk back and get the car to pick him up? He was too disabled. He has an inexplicable limp for the last 25 years. And it was kind of walking back to my house. It was kind of uphill. And I was like, but why did you decide to walk anywhere with him?

Well, because it's parking. It's Labor Day weekend. It's crazy. I can park by you. I'd be closer than if I can try to get a spot. So I don't know. Yeah, we'd been off more beef rib than we could chew there. What is Brad on the iPhone?

What are his steps every day, you think? Is it over a thousand? Well, his phone hasn't worked. His phone hasn't worked in six weeks. He is pacing around a lot. So a lot of shasta soda, cola. My parent corner. So my mom has just gone up seven levels as a character.

Nice. Including when David Chang asked me to be on Dinerantime Live. And I wanted her to, the recipe for meatballs. She thought that I wanted her to make the meatball. balls and was preemptively upset about it that she'd have to cook on a Monday and do all this work. And it was a misunderstanding. I gave her four days to prepare. But the problem was she had made ravioli for my son and me when my wife was away, but didn't tell us she was making it. We didn't ask for it. She lives far enough away from us. It's hard to get. And she made the

raviol. And she's like, hey, I made you guys ravioli. You got to come and get it. And Ben's, you know, he's about to be a high school senior. He's the least reliable person probably in the planet. I don't even ask him to go get me a water at this point. And then I was like legitimately busy doing stuff. So it was never able to get over there, which then made her mad and she held a grudge about it for like two, three weeks. That she cooked us the ravioli and we never came to get it.

But we never asked for the ravioli. So I had to like navigate that whole thing with her. But as you know, with the moms, they start taking stuff personally. but the thing I noticed this so she watches these movies she subscribes to Brit Box and all this stuff on Amazon and she watches all these different

things but can't remember the title or who was in the shows and then tries to tell you about what the program was right so she was telling me about some movie the other day could remember who was in it but it was like you know the English lady

there's a lot of English actresses that didn't really narrow it down for me. And then it was something, and there was a, and she just couldn't get it. And I was thinking there should be a Shazam for moms. And I can't remember if S&L maybe did a version of a sketch about this. I can't remember. But something like where they start describing what the show is, and then I can just put

it in the app. Oh, that's great. And it translates your mom where she's like, so it was on Amazon, that English lady was in it, and she gets murdered. And then there's, but it's really good. you got to watch it. There's just barely enough breadcrumbs to know what the show is.

And then I put it into my app and it's an AI spits out like, that's actually the new movie with Kristen Scott Thomas. There is no spy thing. She has three daughters. And that's just, we just basically mom translator.

I think she needs it. You shouldn't have said anything because it's a good idea and you should have just pursued it and done it. I just like done it by saying, called Alec had him like fund it. Call our buddy Alec.

You should call it Shazama. Like a grandma kind of thing Shazama Does your mom do this Where she just gives you recommendations Yeah it becomes like a game of charades Like oh she was in the movie But then she broke up with the guy

And then they had a baby It's not Jennifer Aniston But she looks like her Right Right right yeah I don't So when you get you hit a certain point After you've had a couple kids

And lived your life You just can't remember anyone's name anymore Who's in a movie or TV show Is that that where we've landed But it ends up being six degrees of, like, we could navigate it at this age because we remember the act of like, okay, I know he was in this thing, so I'll go

to his IMDB, or I'll go to that show, that movie's IMDB, and I'll work backwards. If you give me Scarlett Johansson, I can now go in and be like, all right, Scarlett Johansson, so this sounds like a rom-com. I think that's great. Shazama. That's very, very helpful. It could, it'd be great for like

them remembering your friends, too, although that would be a little more difficult to detect, right? Whatever happened to that one guy who lived over on Hammond, road and yeah his father went to jail for a minute but right Brad? Brad yeah yeah I saw I randomly over the course of a couple weekends saw a bunch of my old friends and it brought her delight to no end when the old friends get

together really like makes them happen anyway Shazama a new parent corner like a house says that could be a half-baked idea I have to pitch it to Wilds. All right so we're going to take a break come back. The last thing we have in this podcast is we taped on Thursday, we did our whole back and forth NFL futures draft that you did really well on last year. I did. I won. I had both offensive rookie and defensive rookie of the year. So that's how I, that's how I wanted. Yeah, so we just went snake fashion. We did a Fogo to Chow style.

We just kept throwing props at each other until we ran out. It's a half hour. There's a lot of dead air, but it's nice. It's a nice, breezy listen. But I do have a couple plugs here. We've got to talk about a couple things here. Three days a week. Three days a week on the ringer gambling channel. That's me, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. I'm going to be live. Live at New Neatia. The ringer gambling thing. And you're also going to be posting shorts and all kinds of quick stuff. I have an interview with Michael Irvin this week. I only have like a million things to ask them. Tuesday starts with Tate. We'll go over the college week. Tate went three and one with his picks. Kids good. We'll talk about Bella Cheats debut as an underdog against TCU

Monday and looking ahead to week one NFL. By the way, heavy MJ rumors on the sideline for North Carolina game. Yeah, there's some rumors. So there could be two Jordans, the girlfriend Jordan and the Michael Jordan. Double Jordan. Real quick, I'm hosting an Eliminator Pool, $250,000 to the winner, Splash Sports, Cousin Sal's Loser Take All. But finally, our friend Tony's turn to kick someone out of our Fantasy League on Tuesday.

And I just want to say that Tony is the most talented fellow I have ever met. He was amazing as Mole and John Quincy Adams and Windy City Heat as Nile Standish and crank anchors. Jake Bird, possibly the funniest character in late night history. He cooks, he snowboards,

he fixes shit. He's a Renaissance man, incredible family's youngest son went off the college this week. Just a special talent, great guy, can't say enough about him.

I don't know if you have anything nice to say about him, but, I mean, once upon a time, me, you and Tony shared after our friend Daniel

got fired. Right. We took over his office and it was me and you and Tony, and it's some of the best memories of my entire life. is getting to spend that much time with the team in.

So whoever he chooses to vote out on Tuesday, I'm sure it would be a really good, smart pick that he put a lot of thought into. And if it happens to be one of us, I'd still respect the hell out of him because he's that great of a guy. Yeah. Sounds like you're pandering.

Like, I really meant what I said, but you're sound a lot like pandering. But that's fine. One of the funniest people ever. One of the nicest people ever, a huge fan of the Celtic City docks. Something nice long text about it. And just somebody I really treasure as a human being.

Yeah. Good job, Tony. Don't fuck this up, please. Who's the favorite to get voted out? I don't know. It might be the guy wandering around with the looking at everyone's trophies in the next room over here. I'm not sure. All right. Well, I'll see you on Tuesday. Sorry about Michael Parsons. We'll be back. Give me a quick, good job by you. Good job by you. We'll be back with the futures draft right after this. All right. You'll be watching and listening to this on a Sunday, but we are recording this late Wednesday. afternoon. Futures draft. Second annual. We had such fun with this. Who won last year? I did. This one I won. You crushed with the Oberunders. I had both rookies of the year. Right. So it's basically one unit. And if there's all kinds of, like, if you do like a 10 to 1 and it hits, so we'll keep track of it.

What we do is somebody gets the first pick. Somebody gets the next two. Somebody gets the next two. And we go that way. And they're futures that we like. I'll give you the, do you want the first pick? Second and third. What do you want? Second and third. Okay. I'll go first pick then. Philly, Casey, and Baltimore

all to make the playoffs minus 110. Oh, it's over. You lost. I'm locking it down. Thank you. That's good. That's good. We've been doing this for, I don't know how many years,

where we put together a parlor like that, and you say, who's losing that, Simmons? Right, right, right. I can't come up with a team that loses that. It would have to be a Kansas City catastrophe. That was the only thing I can think. That's even odds about minus 110. Yeah, minus 110.

Yeah, okay. All right. You have them next time. All right. I will go in this order for the AFC North, Ravens, Bengals, Steelers, Browns, plus 310. Okay. Plus 310. So you think Pittsburgh will be the three seed is basically the bet.

It's a smart bet. Yeah. I think what it would, what, what, what, what, you're basically going to. and Cincinnati versus Pittsburgh for that two spot. I agree with you. I think that's a good one. I like that. All right. What's your next one? Oh, that's right. I get two. All right, I'll do this one. This is very tough. NFC. North.

I know you don't like this. Lions, Packers, Bears, Vikings in that order. Lions, Packers, Bears, Vikings. Plus 1,300. Oh. It's tough. It's like a newborn figuring out a Rubik's Q, but I have to take a chance here. You would

reverse Packers and Lions, right? Yeah, I would do Green Bay winning that one, as we covered in the NFC podcast. Yeah, the NFC North, I'm surprised you mess with that this already in the draft. It's all right. This is what I'm going to beat you this time.

Got a lot more. Got a lot more. All right. I'm going to do a homer pick for this next one. It's the New England Patriots to finish in second place in the AFC East is plus 170. As we discussed, I don't see any scenario where Buffalo loses the AFC Easton list, Josh Allen gets hurt.

I don't see the jets or dolphins passing the Pats, plus 170 great odds. I would almost rather bet that than the playoff. I think those are better odds than the playoff odds. Interesting. Some grabbing that. That's pretty good. I wrote that down, by the way. I had second or third.

Let's say you were a millionaire. Let's say you put $100 million on plus 170 and $100 million on plus $220. can't lose that. They're coming in second or third. So the only way you lose that is like Drake May gets hurt this. Okay. Maybe. And my other pick, which I really like, and I'm surprised you didn't take it

off the board. This is on Fandall. This is one of the ringer specials on Fandle. New Orleans or Cleveland. Yeah. Under three and a half wins, minus 130. That's good. So one of those teams has to suck, basically.

And I think both of them might suck. I actually wish there was a, you could do both of them at the same time. But I just don't see any scenario where both of those teams win four games. You could have that wrapped up by like Thanksgiving somehow. I feel good about that. I like backing the teams with the worst quarterback situations in the entire league. All right. You're up with two. All right.

I'm up with two. All right. I'm going to steal this from you because I know you like it. Jordan Love MVP. 20 to 1, you said? 25. 25. Great.

I'll take it. Love Matthew Golden. Love that offense. Really smart. I should have taken that. God damn it. Carolina, Cleveland Giants. In December, he's in the conversation at 20 to 1.

You got one more. I'm going to go chase offensive player of the year plus 800. You know, everyone's picking this guy first overall in every fantasy. That's probably the reason. Henry and Barclay slow down. I think this leaves the door open. That's 17 touchdowns and 1,700 yards. So wide receivers do.

Has him one in three years. This is how you won last year. You went big odds. numbers. What are you? Big chances. Even odds. That's smart.

Well, I'm going to have to take a division. Oh, I already did that one though. You want to tap out? Well, we're doing Fogo to Chow rules. I love it. Which means we just keep doing props back and forth

until somebody quits. Someone throws up. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to do. That those aren't. great odds on that. Fine. I'll do this one. Rattled now. It's sad. No, this is a good one. I'm surprised you didn't take it. The odds aren't

great. Miami, Cleveland, New Orleans, and Tennessee all miss the playoffs. Yeah. Wow. I have it right there. Plus 105. Yeah, it was like even a 105. Shit. So who screws that up, Tennessee? Nobody. That's good. Tennessee, maybe going nine and eight, getting a seven seed. I mean, it's your Brown Saints bet, but you're giving yourself more leeway, like three or four more wins. Well, I'm going to double back up on it. I won't do that. I already did that. Okay.

This is a good one. I like this one. Denver or Green Bay to be the one seed in their conference plus $5.50. Just a fun way to bet on Green Bay to be the one seed, but then you get the Denver odds. That's on there? Those two. Yeah. Denver or Green Bay plus 550 as the one seat.

That's on there. They don't have first coach fire, but they have Denver or Green Bay. Denver or Green Bay. I get to bet on Matt LaFleur and Sean Payton. Okay. I get Bo Nex or Jordan Love. Good times.

All right. It's a good one. All right. I will say, all right, I'm going to do the NFC South. I shouldn't, but Tampa Bay,

Atlanta, Carolina, New Orleans, plus 500. I like that. I feel like there's some hedging to be had in there. Plus 500, that's it?

Plus 500. What do you mean that's it? That should be more? New Orleans is kind of locked for fourth. Yeah. What's your next one? I'll get one more. Aidan Hutchinson defensive player of the year.

Plus 700. I think he gets a sympathy vote. He puts together numbers like he did last year. Plus 700. Plus 700. He had seven and a half sacks in five games. He was on his way to shattering. Definitely a personal high.

But for the year, well, if you remember, I had him in our futures draft and he was like 14 to 1. Yeah. That one really hurt. Okay. We're going to go Burrow most passing plus 500 that he has

the most passing yards in the league. I was a little scared of the most passing bets but in this case I think he's the only guy who could actually throw for 5,000. Yeah. Do you play 17 games? Hit a lot. What do you have last year?

Close. Yeah. He's the only one I could see doing that. to one. That's good. And then I'm going to double up on Joe Burrow. Burrow throws for 4,500 plus yards. I saw this. And the odds on that one are plus 165. So it's almost a little bit of a hedge on my most passing.

Basically, if he gets hurt, I lose both. You're up. These individuals are so tough because of the week 18. You don't know. All right. I'm at Buka. I screamed about that a lot. Offensive rookie of the year, 16 to 1.

I think this buck's offense is going to be dynamite. Lots of opportunities, lots of favorable matchups with Godwin in or out. Who knows? You said it. Brian Thomas type year, 1,300, 10 touchdowns. It's really good. 16 to 1 on that? 16 to 1.

Jesus. The number one overall pick is won the award only once in the last 13 years. I thought that was interesting. So it was 40 to 1 earlier in the year, but I'm going out 16 to 1. Okay. What's your next one? Next one, Mike Green, defensive rookie of the year. This is a guy on the Ravens.

Oh, you're going deep cut. D. Poy was his nickname in college at Marshall for defensive player of the year. So he could be explosive. I know there's personal issues maybe. He dominated the senior ball. He left the senior ball early. He was like that good. The Ravens were second in sacks last year.

So it's 22 edge rusher. Don't forget that name. Were the odds? 1,100. Would you describe our friend Brad as having personal issues? All of them. Every single personal issue. Every conceivable personal issue

Okay I'm going to do Denver makes the playoffs And Cincinnati doesn't make the playoffs That's a parlay for plus 2.30 You like that one? Yeah, that's pretty good Denver playoffs Sinci

Interesting that you could do that I mean there was a day when there was no way you could double dip You know why we could do that Because that was a ringer special on Fandole That's great And then I don't need to

do that yet. Okay, here, let's do this. Maybe. Gino Smith, P. Carroll, Tom Brady, Brock Bowers, and the Las Vegas Raiders. Eight plus wins plus 150. I think go at least eight and nine.

I had to grab that one. That's solid. What do you got? All right. I have Okay. It's a new award. Do you even know this? Protector of the year. I saw that. Penny Sewell consistently earns like the highest blocking ratings of PFF, you know,

includes the leads the NFL with the 951 PFF, 23, 24. Dionne Dawkins and Andrew Whitworth got together and created this war. I don't know if they threatened, but there's a new O.C. I get it. But if you play this game, I don't see it mattering. Where are the odds? Plus 460. The only one who could challenge him is Big Dom considered a protector?

I do worry about that. It's almost exactly what he is. What's your next one? Robert Sala, assistant coach of the year. Oh, my God. That's an award? Yeah, baby. Is that on Fandall?

Sure. Plus 800. Wait, I got to look this up. A. Cody. What site are you on? Is this season leaders or awards? Awards. It's like the last one.

Oh, my God. I didn't realize it went that far. Pick one. Those are fun. Oh. Well, then I'm doing Aiden Hutchinson come back of the year plus 270. All right. Let's take that right off the board because I didn't see that was available.

You don't like Rogers? No. I do not. And then, oh, oh, the assistant coach of the year, a lot of good choices. Yeah. Hmm. Take Matt Patricia. I know his college guy.

I'm not ready to do that yet. I'll do this here Green Bay over 9 and a half wins Chicago over 8 and a half wins plus 370 I think that hits feeling good about that one You need them to split, right?

Yeah that's a good one All right we mentioned this we're talking about this at Hercules Hertz to have the most rushing touchdowns plus 800 It's ridiculous

They didn't change that rule for Neanderthals. I don't know why that tush push is there. There's 42 rushing touchdowns in three years. He's always around 15. Cook had more than him last year. Gibbs and Henry. They only had one more, I think. I like Hertz plus 800.

I'm trying to think who beats this. Out of those guys? No, just in general. I mean, Barclay's right behind him if they want to make an example of it. Chavion Anderson? What's your other one? Mike Evans, a thousand plus yards, minus 1.30. 11 in a row, right?

Every year he's played, he's had a thousand yards. Minus 130? Minus 130. Week 18, home against the Panthers. What number would you be comfortable at for him? I mean, you saw last year what they did. They stacked it up. They just threw to him every down.

They were winning and they threw to him. So he'd be like an 840 yards and they're just going for it. I wrote down 650. I think he can get 350 yards in that last year. all right those are mine that's really smart did you do an aFC's bet i don't think so all right well i'm going to do it i thought you did it what'd you do at the top i did nmsc south okay nfc north buffalo new england jets dolphins exact order plus 600 i'm gonna step in on that you love that yeah i just like the odds because buffalo new england locked those down and you're

just arguing. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's pretty damn good. And then, oh, this is a fun one. Nico Collins, most receiving yards, 10 to 1. Really? So that's basically,

that's Chase missing like two games with calf tightness, Jefferson being J.J. McCarthy, and then all of a sudden, Nico Collins has the most yards. Yeah, that's everyone in the league, missing two games. Yeah.

Yeah, that's good. All right, I'm going to go Baker passing touchdowns plus 900. Ooh. Most passing touchdowns, 41 last year. No sign of slowing down. What are the ads? Plus 900. Okay.

And I'm going to go, love 30 or more touchdowns plus 190. Ooh. We both love love. There we go. Plus 190. All right. I'm going to do Traybann Henderson for offensive rookie of the year, 16 to 1. Oh, let's go.

good. The case is if you look at Jamir Gibbs' stats as a rookie for Detroit, and he ended up with like almost 1,000 rushing yards and like 500 receiving yards or something like that. I actually think Henderson can do better than that.

Nice. So it's him versus Zagbuka versus, who's the other receiver? Golden. Golden versus Gentie. Yep. Yeah, Genties. Genties probably, I mean, Jentee's the safest pick, but yeah. And then I'm going to take this right off the board.

deck press got 4,000 yards plus 105 shit suck on that how do you not take that I have another deck one I mean it's a little bit of a swing hold on the fogo to chow waiter just came over you guys doing good you're good we're fine can't bring it keep bringing the steak wait so Prescott for 4,000 plus yeah plus 105 basically he would have to get hurt not to get that I don't especially because you don't have any running backs right he's going to be throwing the ball like 40 times a game yep yeah i'm not going to argue um how about press scott most most passing yards he had 4500 he's one year removed from 4500 that's plus 900 you're taking that yeah i know you have uh

burrow there um and i'll take uh how about this Travis kelsey under four and a half touchdowns He's, you know, he's going to be worried about freaking flowers and seating charts and who's going to be fighting with who and, you know, which in-laws hate each other. He's going to be counseling for all this. He's not going from three to five, even if the 35-year-old remains healthy.

Plus 112, under four and a half. I have, oh, this is a good one. let's do three or more NFC North playoff teams plus 3.30. Wow. Do you like that one? Basically, one from the NFC East,

one from the NFC South, two from the NFC West. And I'm home free. And then here's the other one. I mentioned this one. We did part two with the NFC. Michael Pennix. led the college football

on interceptions or at least his conference had 11. He's going to be chucking the ball slinging it around. I have him for most interceptions. 14 to 1. I think I would have taken that at 8 to 1.

So isn't this one where there's no other option? You want to take if there's no other option, right? Because you need this guy to play to have the most interception. Well, that was the other thing I was thinking

I wanted to take a younger QB that might, I mean, he had forced season-ending injuries in college. So maybe not the best guy for that. But I thought 14-1 more good guys. What do you got? Chiefs touchdown every game.

Oh, plus 110. Last four years, 75 and 2. Only two out of 77 games. Didn't they not score a touchdown? One was two years ago against Denver Day and three field goals. One was last year, week 18. That's the one that's sticky. They lost 38, nothing.

I think it's as close as even money lock as you can get. So what are the odds? Plus 110. Okay. And then I get another one. Yeah. Detroit, to make the divisional round, to make it to at least a divisional round,

plus 130. So they can get a buy like they did last year, and then you automatically win. Or they can win 10 games like I have them. And then they have a home game, probably against an inferior team. That's what I have. I don't think they're in a ton of danger

of missing the playoffs. That's why I pick plus 130. All right, long shot. Denver N. Green Bay. Make it the championship weekend, the final four. 33 to 1. Just make the final four. Yep.

Good to go. And then I'm going to bet. Where's the other one I had? Oh, man. Am I starting to run out of it? That's all right. No, I don't want to run out of it. It really was.

A Philly Green Bay NFC title game. What do you think the ads are for that? 12? 20 to 1. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's good.

I didn't look at those. I should have looked at some of those. Those are run. We call those runway bets. When you're leaving a Fandall state, you're like, I got to get 40 bucks on these, all these matches. Fandoz should do ads for one way bets when the flight attendant's like, sir, sir, can you please put your phone away?

You're like, hold on, I got two more minutes. Yeah, there's going to be a, just finishing this parlay. a huge brawl, six rows from here that you're going to have to tend to in a few minutes. Yeah. So you were convinced Fando is paying off pilots to stay in the runway for six extra minutes in states where gambling was legal.

Yeah, I think they were in cahoots with the, let's see, Spirit Air. That's the only thing that kept them going. I think it's smart. Okay. I'm going to go darnled most interceptions plus 1,100. I looked at it. Yeah.

I liked it. 12. He's had as many as 15. Smart right there. Jonathan Gannon coach of the year. I thought the tapout was coming. No. Gannon?

Gannon coach of the year plus 1,400. Do or die a year for him. I think it's his award. If you could take them from under 500 to the vision title. Interesting. There you go. There's my two. I have a, I'm going to bet on a couple of young QBs here.

Tennessee over 5 and F wins, New England over 7 and F wins, plus 185. And then I'm going to do the one the only Brock Purdy 4,000 yards, plus 105. That's good. I had a Purdy one too. Guy slings it. Yep.

Plus 105? Yeah. Purdy 4K plus 105. Okay. All right. I will go. All right. the Giants fan meathead fan special

Meathead Giant fan long shot future play Cam Scadabo to record one or more receiving touchdown one or more rushing touchdown and one or more passing touchdown in the regular season 29 to 1

could you see it? So TD triple crown? Yep, pass rushed 29 to 1 29 29 of couldn't you see it like yeah did you see Jerry's face when Week 18 in a meaningless game He threw a 15 yard That's fucking great

Who cares we're 2 and 16 Whatever Did Scatabo Did he Did he throw passes in college Like is there some Were you studying YouTube clips of it? He had a rolling play where

I don't think it worked From what I saw but 29 to 1 What's your other one? Wasn't that too? That wasn't it? You did Scatabo TD Triple Crown 29-1

You're tapping out? Matthew Gold. golden over 700 and a half that's fine minus 110 matthie golden over seven 700.5 700 oh man that's a good one plus 110 we can end this whatever you want to do no because i'm going to take abdul carter for defensive player of the year yeah at plus 185 that's a layout how is that not a minus odds at this point yeah and uh i need to to get in on this coach of the year. Do it.

It's fun. I mean, Vrable at plus 750's staring at me. No, you know what? I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do the assistant coach of the year. Let's take a flyer. Clint Kubiak,

16 to 1, for offensive or for coordinator of the year he's the offensive coordinator for the Seattle Seahawks I'm going to be so pissed if that's what beats me it's like just people talking about his zone blocking and how

how he gave Donald comfort shit that's going to win isn't it 16 to 1 Cam Scatabo better be passing All right you got two All right I have two Hutchinson over 12.75 sacks

12.75. Why is it 12.75? Because a half is an actual measurement in the sacks. You could get, you could find 12.73. I don't want to veer anyone

off with Fandle. You can find 12.725. No, 7.5 and 5 games. 19 in his last 22 games. It's J.J. McCarthy, Caleb Williams, who takes a lot of sacks. Flacco, Russ, Stafford, the Statue,

Rogers, if he's still standing in December. I like this. So what are the ads? Minus 12. Okay. You can get to 15. What's your last? other one. My other one.

Panthers in third place and the NFC South plus 185. Ooh. You can come in second, but they can't come in first or fourth. Panthers in third place. Plus 185. I have to look. You don't trust me? I'm not tapping up. No, I'm not tapping it. Looks like it did. I'm going to do buffalo

for the one seed. And that's plus $250. And then I had... What is the other one? Miami under 5 and a half wins plus 260. Wait a minute. Is that real? Yeah.

What's their regular one? Seven and a half? Yeah. Okay. That's pretty good. That could happen. What do you got? Um...

I'll do Bill's Bucks Super Bowl plus 5,000. Plus 5,000. Yeah. And I'll do... Bucks. I'll do... 50 to 1. I'll do Bill's Super Bowl plus 750.

Ooh. There's a year. The Tommy Fleetwood Bills. You took that from me. The Kieran Culkin Bills. Sabrina Carpenter. Who else won the first thing this year? I have a...

I'm going to double up on Buffalo Denver title game in the AFC, 23 to 1. Oh, that's very good. I would need Denver to win the division for that one to hit. And then, where is the other one I had? What was there one? I thought we had one. Oh, there it is. I'm going to help you out.

I don't know if I want to do that. You're done. We don't have to fire a new round. That's fine. I don't want to do that one. I'm going to do New Orleans and Cleveland both finished in fourth place plus 158. Well, you don't have that already? No.

You have a different version of it. All right. Doubling up on it. What do you got? All right. Cardinals Division plus 380. Ooh. It's a long shot.

shot and plus 380 i like it let's see all right i'm i'm doing something stupid i know i said a lot of bad shit about kyle pitts but what if this is the year 750 yards or more plus 380 750 yards plus 380 yeah how did you even find that Well, 525 says regular roll around there.

Okay. I need to find. Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm going to do San Fran misses the playoffs. Plus 160. Okay. And I'm going to do

Seattle Division. plus 500. Double up. Sure. On those two beauties. We talked about this first podcast. Chargers lose in the wildcard round

plus 290. I don't even have them to make the playoffs, but this seems like everybody should have this every year. Can we just get it out of the way? What are the ads? Plus 290. They're either going to lose the Shaky's game

or they'll be hosting essentially a road game. Okay. Oh, and I get another one. Yeah. I'm going to go Adams under 925 and a half minus 110.

Under? Yeah. I don't trust Stafford being around for a lot of that. Under 10, 25 and a half? 925. 925 and a half. Odds were or what?

Minus 110. Minus 110. Okay. I'm going to Houston and win the division of plus 110. Okay. And then I'm going to do

I'm running out now. There's no shame. Could be a tap out. No shame. I'll do variable coach in the air plus 750. All right. let's see if I'm excited about any of these others tapping out Bill's beat the Dolphins home and on the road minus 135

it's definitely Bill's Dolphins sweep Bill sweep the dolphins That's plus odds No no minus 135 Seems like something you could do individual weeks But I'm gonna parlay it together September 18th and then November 9th

Yeah do that I like that one And I'll go Connor under 875 and a half rushing. Why under? What thing you like about him? I got a little secret. It's going to make me look like an asshole. But if you take all the running backs under,

there's like six who are out for the year by week six or seven. You know, and you can kind of split there. But I don't like that. Not bad. He's going to be 32. I'm going to do indie under five and a half wins. Okay.

That is plus 250. You like that one? Nice. Yep. Sure. Plus 250. And then I'm going to do... What was the other one I had?

Oh, I don't have the balls do that. I'm starting to run out now. Let's do. Yeah. Should we blow a horn? like wake the audience up or something. Chargers, no playoffs even. Yeah.

It's pretty good. Want to do two more? Sure. All right. I went first, so you get two more. I get one more. All right. Sorry.

Fields six plus rushing touchdown. plus $1.15. Hmm. It's at 8, 4, and 5 the last three years. Hit 5 and 10 games last year. Already has won in preseason. And what were the ads again? Plus 115.

I like it. And then Cup under 5.5 touchdowns. Under? That's minus 154. It's a big big, but come on. There's got to be some decline a little bit there. I don't see a lot of scoring. I missed 18 games in three years.

Minus 110. So you have one more pick? Yeah. Don't fuck this up. I'm going to do Buffalo over Green Bay in the Super Bowl. And I have no idea what the odds are. I don't know if they have over, they might just have. So Buffalo Green Bay Super Bowl?

Yeah. They will. Which is, what's Buffalo Green Bay Super Bowl? Let me find it. Because that's my actual pick. So I should probably have money on that. 40 to 1 that they meet up. 40 to 1.

That's my last. pick. All right. We're tapping out. Tapping out of the Foguio Chow draft. Thank you, Mr. Wair. I don't feel like we had enough player props, but I think the problem with player props is that guys get hurt and get screwed. You mean just like over-unders? Yeah, just those over-unders. I never know who to trust.

I like the quarterback throwing ones, but remember last year I had Trevor Lawrence, Caleb Williams, and somebody else will throw for 4,000 yards each. Right, right, right. Didn't happen. It's more fun. It's more fun to take the big odds, guys. All right. Cus, great job. Good job by you, buddy. All right, that's it for the podcast.

and Sal, thanks to Gahou and Eduardo and Sir Rudy as well. I will be back on this podcast, possibly with a two-parter on Tuesday with a big guest, too. So stay tuned for that. And then don't forget about the rewatch of us coming Monday night, movie 400 American Gangster. Don't forget about all of our awesome football content. Don't forget about the Ringar Gambling Show live every day, noon ET on the Marine Gambling YouTube channel. And I will see you on Tuesday.

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