The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Week 11 With Cousin Sal (Ep. 286)

Episode Date: November 13, 2017

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the loaded NFC wild-card race (5:00), another week of bad beats in the NFL (11:00), Jerry Jones vs. Roger Goodell (20:15), Martellus Bennett's return to New England (28:00), Rams-Vikings (33:00), Ravens-Packers (37:00), Bengals-Broncos (44:00), Bills-Chargers (48:30), Saints-Redskins (54:00), and another edition of "Parent Corner" (1:00:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network brought to you by SeatGeek, our presenting sponsor. For $20 off your first SeatGeek purchase on NBA tickets, use promo code BSNBA. Sal, Celtics Warriors, Thursday night in Boston. Ooh, you're going? I don't think there's SeatGeek tickets left for that one. All right.

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So they have a lot of answering to do. Just go against the sharp tank. Yeah, maybe. We're going to turn it around this week. Also on the Ringer Podcast Network, Tate's new podcast with Titus, Rebranded. Love it. One shining podcast. How's that going for you, Tate? We've done two. We've got more to go. It'll be fun. tate's got a

new short microphone over there it's good we're all all good coming up uh we're gonna talk about jimmy kimmel's 50th birthday party okay it wasn't a party i guess it was a dinner just it's just that he turned 50 yeah we're gonna talk about um the nfl playoff picture finally rounding into focus we're gonna talk about jerry jones versus roger good We're going to talk about Jerry Jones versus Roger Goodell. We're going to talk about all of our gambling losses. And a little episode of Parent Corner. All coming up. But first, Pearl Jam. All right, Monday morning here, Los Angeles, California,

home of the NFC champion, Los Angeles Rams. It's going to happen. You love them. 93 points they won by the last three games. Phenomenal. Jared Goff, I started him over Drew Brees in fantasy going against you. Against me. That would have been heresy a year ago.

If I had said to have a healthy Drew Brees and have Jared Goff, three months ago, who do you think I'll start in week 10 against you? It's still a stupid move. I don't care if that made sense. I had the Rams defense who, like like they would get a turnover at the 12 and try and run it in and just get tackled and golf a throw for a touchdown. It's like setting you up perfectly. I don't know how we didn't have them in a tease.

I picked them in my column in a tease. Did not take them for the super contest because I've been trying not to take the high lines. But I did agree with something Lombardi said, that they do turn it on. They run it up. They go up 17, they want more. They're still chucking it downfield. Something to remember for the last six weeks. They definitely have the on button. He's Kurt Warner, 1999.

It's ridiculous what's going on. His passes are really good. I don't know how this is happening. I know we should... Well, he has time and he has weapons. The part that I don't understand is why Robert Woods is I know we should. Well, he has time and he has weapons. The part that I don't understand is why Robert Woods is the go-to guy. Yeah, right. How did that play out?

And how do I have Watkins and Kopp on my team, but not Robert Woods? Watkins scored yesterday. I know, but he gets one pass a game for 70 yards or he does nothing. This guy's always worried. How much do you want to put on Goff for MVP at 12-1? Is that what it is? Goff's 12. Gurley, 75 to 1. Tate is shaking his head.

QBs usually win. I know. I think I would say it's all lined up for Wentz, especially because one of the tough games they had left was Seattle, and now Seattle with Sherman out. I'm not sure how tough that is. I wanted to ask you actually Wentz plus 120 Brady leads the field

at minus 110 of course Really? Yeah why not Seattle 6-3 they have home games against Atlanta, Philly and the Rams left and road games against Jacksonville and Dallas I don't think you can get into the playoffs in the NFC less than 10-6

I agree with you I was looking at that. That's bad for your team That definitely is but I don't think you can get into the playoffs in the NFC less than 10-6. I agree with you. I was looking at that. That's bad for your team. It definitely is. But the NFC wildcard, it's so competitive. Four of these teams aren't making the playoffs. Lions, Packers, Panthers, Falcons, Seahawks, Cowboys.

Four of those teams aren't making it. Well, I guess the Shockers would be Falcons, Seahawks, Cowboys. Two of those wouldn't make it? Because of three. Potentially. Potentially, yeah. If the Panthers win today, I think they have the inside track. Yeah. Falcons, you know, it's weird.

I'm both not a believer in them, but also I've, for some reason, watched a lot of Atlanta games. And I can't tell you how many touchdowns they've missed. Oh, yeah. I know. It wasn't just like Julio dropped one last week, but Aikman called out somebody for the first time in a while. He actually called out how Matt Ryan keeps missing these dudes.

They've had open guys the whole season, and Matt Ryan just keeps throwing it two yards over their heads. I think they could have 10 more touchdowns. I'm not sure. The only thing that I would be really concerned with with the Falcons is now this Freeman thing. He's got two concussions, it seems like. And they're not the same offense if he's not going to be healthy in January.

Coleman's the best backup in the league, though, I think, at that position. But Freeman was a monster. His pitchers couldn't tackle him. But even he, like this year, wasn't turning it on. I don't know what it is with their – they look like – if two teams, you could guess, don't practice during the week, I would say the Falcons and Jameis Winston, wincing-led Bucs. Yeah, guys getting overthrown two or three yards.

Julio Jones, would you trade him in fantasy? Would you trade for him for... Uh-oh. You have a trade in the works? Juju Smith-Schuster. Is it a keeper league? No. Wow.

I would trade for Julio Jones. You would? Yeah, I would. I think he's left some stats on the table. I wouldn't. Any of these guys. Aguilar, Golden Tate, Marquise Goodwin. Any of the Marquises I would keep over Julio Jones.

It's been one of the dumbest fantasy years probably of all time. Yeah, yeah. My best receiver is Robbie Anderson, who I picked up three weeks ago. I know. It's crazy. You're going to beat me. You have two Jets on your starting roster. I have two Jets.

It's crazy. I had two Vikings. I have Jared Goff. Yeah. You're up 11. It's a ludicrous year. No, you're down 11, and you have Landry and McCaffrey. McCaffrey wins it by himself.

So you're minus 250 right now. McCaffrey's Rookie of the Year run started last week. I think it keeps going today. I think that was 75-1 or something. 50-1? 50-1 McCaffrey right now. Don't bet that. Oh, yeah, don't bet that.

By the way, Tate, we talked about Kamara. Two weeks ago, after Watson got hurt, he was still 15-1 to win Rookie of the Year, now 4-1. So there's a couple teams. I was thinking about this. First of all, split it into tiers again, and I think the top tier is six teams, though. Philly, New England Rams, Saints, Vikings, Steelers. And Steelers are a very soft six.

You could talk me into nudging them to tier two because they've just looked like crap too many times in a row. What's interesting, though, is you go down to the next level, KC, Seattle, Carolina, Tennessee, Jacksonville. And then after that, there's a lot of teams that if they're down by 10 points, the game's over. I'm not positive Buffalo's a bad team, but when they're down 10, the game's over. The Saints went up, I think it was 17-3 or 14-3, whatever it was.

The game was over. Buffalo wasn't coming back from that. Denver's like that, I think. Right. Baltimore is like that. Oh, God, yeah. I think Cincinnati is like that. I would say the Dolphins are like that.

The Bears, definitely. Bucks. So it's almost like it feels like the first 20 minutes of the game has been more important this year from a gambling standpoint than I can remember. Yeah. Saints-Buffalo, I was like, I'm in this game. I like Buffalo.

Ten days rest. And then the game was over by the 50-minute mark of, it was like 10.58 on West Coast time. Yeah, and we should be able to bet these games live. And we do, and we could. But as good as it looks for the NFC, the AFC I have a big

bet with the Bills to not make the playoffs in a parlay or something. I think you're okay with that. I don't know. Who passes that? No, they're not going to move, because we covered this in the pod two weeks ago. I laid out the case for them swooning in the second half, and it's already happened. I know they have New England twice, and that's big,

but who goes ahead of them out of Miami, Baltimore? I think Baltimore. One of these teams. Really? Yeah, I think it's Baltimore. Wow. I think Baltimore gets to 9-7 somehow. They haven't played each other, right?

Baltimore? No. Buffalo? They have. Who do they have this week? They have, oh, they're at Green Bay. They're at Green Bay. One of the crazy things about the NFL right now is that green bay is somehow not out of the playoff picture yet i

know i had no idea i blocked it out of mind that they're five and four they have cleveland tampa bay and baltimore on their schedule yeah they could maybe stick around for aaron rogers miracle recovery i made a couple gambling mistakes which which, what's different about that? Yeah, I would love just a couple. What's different about that? I liked five games, only bet three of them. That was smart. The other two, what?

The other two were the, I loved the Falcons. Yeah. And I liked the Pats Rams tees, didn't do either. I think I'm overrating. It sounds like we're in gambling therapy. I think I'm overrating games that I watched a week before. So I watched Buffalo and the Jets. And I was like, the Jets are,

I believe in the Jets. They're really good. Then I'm thinking like, oh, Buffalo off week, they'll be back. Both of those teams are terrible. I felt the same way. Same way. Why did I think the Jets, why would I ever think the Jets were reliable

in any situation? You should never bet on the Jets. I think the 10 days read like, oh, the Thursday night they had 10 days to prepare. That's nonsense anymore. Bills and Jets come out flat. I think the short week also echoes by the wayside. Well, at least we haven't lost money in the Thursday night football. Packers, right.

We're staying away from Thursdays, but, but what gets us crazy gets me crazy is we bet money line parlays. And when everyone tells us not to, and we throw, we, we somehow haven't won only one seven point or plus favorite has lost in the last four weeks.

How are we not? Cause we got, we got destroyed mentally after the, the Miami Falcons, right? That week, that was a big cover. When the two big cover. And now, so we're putting like three, four point favorites.

And then you just, you just, it's impossible to parlay these small favorites or underdog, whatever. Although I will say. Yeah. If the Steelers and the Lions yesterday, both should have lost. Oh yeah. The Colts should have beaten the Steelers. And they almost seem like they didn't want to beat the Steelers.

Some of the stuff that happened in that game. Yeah. And then Lions, Browns. The Browns, how many times? Lombardi always has the 45-minute teams, 55-minute teams. The Browns are like a 25-minute team. It's a really good 25 minutes. Then the wheels come off.

They were a 20, how many minutes or a half? Whatever. There was 15 seconds left. And that quarterback sneak by the Sean Cardhai that is first of all he fell fall he fell flat on his face forward from the three yard line he just fell right forward that like greg the hammer valentine in 1984 just falling on his face and no timeouts are you what is he jackson so bad that was awful the fox challenge which lit up the internet yesterday so i had the bears money line i figured because you were angrily tweeting about it.

I was like, oh no. I was so mad. So mad at that. And this guy cunningly, first of all, I've never been on the right side of that pile on rule. Yeah. You're 0 for 38. That's one.

If I only want to get to heaven to ask God, like, hey, what's my record on the pile on rule? What's my record taking 10 point favorites? I would love to know all this stuff. God has all that stuff. He's got it ready, right? I can't wait to get up there or down there, whatever I'm going.

But in a rainy day, that's on Cunningham. I know Fox is an idiot for challenging, but to reach across on a rainy day and then to lose it a little bit, your next job is to sprint over to the coach and say, hey, I may have hit it. I may not have. Let's not challenge.

Let's go first and go from the three-eighths of an inch line instead. Don't challenge. You hate when people reach for the pylon. I don't like it. The risk reward is terrible. Yeah, so many things happen that aren't good for the team. We almost had in – I think it's a little harsh, too, don't you think? It's like one thing if a punt goes and hits the pylon, all right,

that comes out to the 20. But I don't know. Guy's running his ass off, making an athletic move, lunging for the goal line. He just lets it go last second. Can't they get it back at the 20? I don't know. What was the game?

Was it the Redskins game when the guys ran down the sidelines and fumbled and it almost fumbled it out of balance, missed it by like six inches? Yeah, it was Swearinger. Yeah almost fumbled it out of balance by like missed it by like six inches right it was swearinger yeah right kicked it out i think that that's the if i could change three rules the first rule i would change is that you should be able to challenge penalties right yeah if like if uh if if it was like a late hit where the quarterback clearly gets hit in that in the head and the and the missed it, you should be able to challenge that. Jacoby Brissett, you mean? Yeah, any of those. I would definitely change the rule of fumbling in the end zone

and the other team gets the ball. That's fucking stupid. Right. How is that the rule? Right. Or maybe give it to the team that fumbled. Give it back to them on the 20 or something. But I don't understand.

How does the defense get the ball on that? It's too much of a reward for doing nothing at all, giving up a big play. back to them on the 20 or something. But I don't understand. How does the defense get the ball on that? It's too much of a reward for doing nothing at all, giving up a big play. And then the third one, I would have... The third one is we were able to surrender our bets in the first quarter. We should be allowed to.

No, I think there should be five-yard unsportsmanlike or unnecessary roughness penalties. 15's too much? 15 is insane. Yeah. Like the Marquise lee taunting penalty and they had to go back 15 yards because he's a dumbass versus a clear helmet to helmet it doesn't make any sense versus like uh i probably could have paralyzed this guy if it was like a half inch

and he wasn't looking and i crushed him and that's 15 yards but marquise lee like you know making a jerk off that was gesture for a second yeah that was well jer off, it's a tough week. It's a tough week for jerking off. I'm sorry. The Chargers-Jags was maybe the gambling game of the year. The last two minutes took an hour and a half. I had the Chargers in the Super Contest.

I just kept thinking I lost and then I hadn't lost yet. Then I was like, now I lost. And then I hadn't lost yet. And then I was like, oh, now I lost. And then now I didn't lose. And we had an interception touchdown callback because somebody grazed his leg for a split second. Never really saw it, but yeah. Bortles with the game-ending interception,

the guy's celebrating. The Jags have all three timeouts left. The guy's prancing out. It's like, we shouldn't't return this, you dumbass. You're in the 10-yard line. Yeah. And then third and six. And you knew they weren't getting it.

Yeah. Third and six, the Jags have a timeout left. And the Chargers just run it into a 10-man line. They are. Where's that Melvin Gordon screen or anything? Anything. Phil Rivers. Roll them out.

They are not the worst coach team in the league because I think the Giants are in there. They are the next level. There's some really poorly coached teams this year. I think your team might be one of them. Yes. I love it. Maybe bring a tight end over. Try to stop that, dude.

I love that Lombardi was going off on the clap. Let's bring one tight end over. I love it. Give a backup tight end. You wouldn't see. You would see three sacks and that would be it. Like, all right, we have to adjust everything. I think Lombardi and Taylor were saying, wouldn't see you would see three sacks and that would be it like all right we have to adjust everything and like i think you got bardy taylor's saying like he kind of is like the anti-belichick

if he doesn't have his full personnel in there jason garrett yeah he's lost he is completely gone whereas belichick can move parts around and everything and make it work he doesn't even have to be that good but i don't think you have a plan b for when sean lee gets hurt no that's bad sean Sean Lee gets hurt. It's like, oh, guys, we're done. Yeah, with Stanley Smith. But everything underneath, Sean Lee just snuffs out. His instincts are terrific.

But Tyron Smith, I think, is the MVP of the Cowboys. I mean, you replace him with Chaz Green. You might as well have CeeLo Green in there. It doesn't matter, really. There's no benefit there. When you lose your left tackle in the football on short notice, that in the center almost never goes well. Exactly. You think Jason Garrett should use

Sonos One? Yeah. It blends great sounds with the Amazon Alexa for hands-free control of your music and more. I wonder if they could add coaching instructions in there for Jason Garrett? How should I stop this guy who keeps talking? Alexa, how should I stop this guy who keeps talking? Alexa, how should I stop this guy who has 6X?

Use your voice to play songs, turn on lights, adjust temperature, check news and traffic, manage smart devices, and more with helpful Amazon Alexa skills. All using a single Sonos speaker. Sonos won back by a pair of claspy amplifiers, custom-built drivers. Sonos continually updating with new features, services, and skills. Your music and voice options will both keep getting better over time. Sonos, seriously. Add Sonos One.

Add coaching instruction. Yeah. Like when the teams are up four and they go for the two point with three minutes left in the game, so they can go up six and they don't get it, and then the other team scores, they're down three. Add Sonos. Sonos 1 should and then we'd be

bad mouthing Sonos so that would be probably bad no Sonos 1 would tell you what to do they'd figure it out yeah they're offering listeners

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for a limited time only cannot be combined with other discounts or promotions use the promo code Simmons10 Simmons10 at Sonos.com to receive this exclusive offer uh feud of the week yeah jerry jones roger goodell let's see now you're on jerry's side you love it i love it i love anyone who feuds with roger goodell jerry put the flag business

aside and is now like let's go after this commissioner. He's becoming this deranged old man. It's the best. Right. I love it. But then you read the request that Goodell had. It's like,

I agree with Jerry Jones. The private jet. 49. I love how they reported $50 million and then the NFL was like, it's not 49. So it turns out it's 49.5. Like, sorry, guys.

The private jet thing is great. It makes me think our agent, James Babydoll Dixon, is representing Roger Goodell at this point. Like, how? 9.5 like sorry guys the private jet thing is great it makes me think our agent james baby doll dixon is representing uh roger goodell at this point like how the private jet for life are you kidding me well baby i would ask that for himself too yeah he and his agent get it the uh what else did he ask for yeah i wrote i wrote i read it and i wrote uh he should ask to be absolved from all the concussion lawsuits that are going to happen in the next 10 years. Oh, he asked for unlimited access to the Rams cheerleaders changing room.

What? Yes. I didn't read that. Was that in the report? Yes, it's towards the end. The funniest thing was midway through the second slate of games, I got tipped off that the story had disappeared from ESPN.com. I saw you.

And ESPN's NFL page. Not there. This is arguably their biggest scoop in like a month. Right. Right? No sign of it on the website. But then what did they say? Did they say it was nonsense this morning or something?

They kept the story up. They changed the headline from 50 million to 49.59. All right. That's an apology. He was so pissed off he must have been so mad for that to get leaked out what do you think that's so much money how many millions i would say like for the for that job probably like four million a year four million yeah seems fair i mean it wasn't long ago when commissioners were making that right well i

guess it was long ago but but I don't know. He takes a lot of credit. Was Roselle making 15, 20 million? Well, he takes a lot of credit for the TV deals. But meanwhile, he's always had like five suitors for the deals. How hard is it to negotiate? That was Jerry Jones. I think that's why Jerry Jones gets mad.

He's like, hey, I'm responsible for this TV deal. I'm responsible for the luxury body. Like everything. I don't know um another another feud of the week clayborne versus chaz green didn't go as well as born one-sided poor chaz that was clayborne versus jason garrett like that was that's all that was i kept thinking of uh our friend damashek who always would change anyone's name. Charles, Charlie, Chuck, and a Chaz. Chaz Knoll.

Yeah. Chaz Sheen. And you just being demolished by a Chaz made me laugh. Team's in trouble. Wanted to mention playoff QBs potentially. Tyrod Taylor, Case Keenum, and Blake Bortles. There's been some Case Keenum, he's really good buzz. I don't know if people watch that whole Washington game.

He had a couple of the worst passes of the weekend. He did. Case Keenum, he's really good buzz. I don't know if people watch that whole Washington game. He had a couple of the worst passes of the weekend, Case Keenum. He threw two interceptions. He can look good nine out of ten times, but there's going to be the tenth time when he's going to make a terrible play. He is Case Keenum. I think Thielen bails him out. Thielen's like all of a sudden Jordy Nelson. He gets underneath the seam and everything, and he bails him out.

And Keenum seems to be throwing off the wrong foot every time. But it gets there, and they're winning. The story of that game, though, was the Redskins' defense was miserable. Just miserable. Couldn't stop them at all. Their secondary was surprisingly bad. And then a lot of weird third and short. Right.

Just bizarre. Didn't have a chance. Yeah. Didn't understand it. I actually thought I was going to win that game. The Skins plus one, and I really felt like they were going to come back and win. I think they actually might have a better team. They got killed.

It was like a minute 40 left. I think Cousins threw a pick in the first half, and then they went down double digits, and that was that. We get a lot of emails from Vikings fans now that people say we're not respecting them. Really? Yeah. I like them. I'm going to continue not respecting them enough. Really? Yeah. I like them. I'm going to continue not respecting them.

Well, I know because they're playing your favorite team this week. Is that happening? We'll get to it. We'll get to it. No, they're not playing my favorite team. No, your favorite team. Your new favorite team. LA's own Rams?

Yeah, that team. Do you want to do the captains before we do the week 11 lines? Yeah, let's do it. Ready to captain. You're wearing a captain t-shirt right now. I am. The captain will not rest until he's brought his adventurous spirit and delicious rum to every corner of America.

Variety, the spice of life. That's why Captain Morgan has spiced up life quite a bit. A collection of rum with its own distinctive flavor and personality. The captain loves anyone who learns how to mix like a captain they also sponsor the uh captain morgan's fake make-believe casino oh yeah on the uh romo versus dion this week yeah would you guys decide there's a mixed well i say romo's got those big fists he's angry yeah he's uh got you know 13 years on dion i would i would say romeo dion afraid to it's not going to shoot. I would say Deion afraid to, he's not going to shoot in on his legs.

He's afraid to tackle. How's this going to be a fight? You would say Deion. I would take Romo. I just think he might hurt his back at some point during the fight. That would be my biggest fear. Right, right, right.

Like he's winning, but then something bad happens. Who's your captain this week? My captain, Bill, is the guy in the blue coat who got hit in the face with a Brock Osweiler pass last night. Oh, that guy. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sure his name will come out today. We don't know it yet.

But he's just standing on the sideline. It looked like he was holding an iPad or something. He was a few rows back. And it's third and six. And Collinsworth had just said how Osweiler is turning it turning it around and a third and six he rolls left and throws left and it goes out of bounds 15 yards and and hits a guy right in the noggin and uh almost knocks him over and it's uh do we did we find out what happened to that guy we have not found out I hope he's okay I'm gonna make him the captain

hoping that he's okay and still alive uh either way he's my captain but you know why do you think he didn't see the ball you think he was like on his cell phone he should have whenever you not see the ball drops back to pass you should be away especially on your side michelle tofoya wants to wear a helmet she's like begging the nbc question moment yes and they're talking about putting nets up and uh mile high stadium for one block pass it's very dangerous. And this guy hopefully survived. I think he's in concussion protocol right now.

He's my captain of the week, guy in the blue coat. And if you haven't seen it by now, look up guy in blue coat who gets hit with an Osweiler pass. Tate, should he do a backup in case this guy died last night and we find out after the podcast? No, he's fine. Nothing's come out yet. I'm trying to find his name. It's not out there. He's fine. You think there's no sign case this guy died last night and we find out after the podcast? No, he's fine. Nothing's come out yet. I'm trying to find his name. It's not out there.

He's fine. You think there's no sign of this guy? No name. Just video. He's good. I mean, he stood there. He was there. Afterwards.

I kept waiting for Al Michaels to do the Brady Bunch reference. Oh, right, right, right. Bring back the Marsha on my nose. My nose, yeah, yeah. But Al missed that one. Your captain. My captain is Mookie Betts for bowling a 300.

No? No. My captain is Martellus Bennett, who was unhappy in Green Bay and was playing hurt the whole year. They knew he was hurt. His quarterback gets hurt. They're not throwing him the ball. He is his quarterback he didn't sign up to play with.

He decides he's going to get surgery, hoping that maybe the Packers will release him. Right. The Packers get mad. They release him. He claims that he was going to get the surgery anyway, but then the Pats miraculously came in. Miraculously?

This league is so stupid. Pats swoop in, changes mind changes mind comes in makes a couple big plays yesterday super bowl champ martellus bennett right great time back i love it tate should bill do a backup in case the pats get uh busted for tampering here's why i bring this up the the packer fans are salty about it yeah they're salty about they feel like this guy quit on the team it sucks yeah okay how tate how many people are Packers fans and Bucs fans? Not that many, right? There's got to be some, right, in Wisconsin?

Oh, but yes. Milwaukee Bucs. Yeah, yeah. I thought it was going to be like the Tampa Bay Bucs. I was like, I don't know. Tate, there's some Packer fans, Bucs fans, right? There's a crossover. Of course, Milwaukee, yeah.

The Bucs last week traded for Eric Bledsoe, who quit on his team, who tweeted, I don't want to be here anymore. His team sent him home. Right. And then two weeks later, miraculously ends up on the Milwaukee Bucs last week traded for Eric Bledsoe, who quit on his team, who tweeted, I don't want to be here anymore. His team sent him home. Right. And then two weeks later, miraculously ends up on the Milwaukee Bucs. You cannot love the Bledsoe trade and then also be mad at Martellus Bennett. You have to pick one or the other. You're crazy.

I'm feuding with the people of Milwaukee. How many people like the Red Wings and the Supersonics? I love it, man. Listen, control your own destiny. All right. It's a short career in the NFL. Martellus Bennett, you just want to come home. I love it, man. Listen, control your own destiny. It's a short career in the NFL. Martellus Bennett, you just wanted to come home. LeGarrette Blount, you're next. You're supposed to tell us.

He has tell us in his own name. Oh, I like that. You're supposed to tell us. I love it. Great to have him back. Dwayne Allen couldn't catch a fucking cold. He really can't. They threw him a touchdown yesterday and he dropped it. He caught one.

Dwayne Allen? Yeah, he got a touchdown. Yeah, he finally got one. It might have been his first catch of the year. Do you know how many times he's been open this year and the passes hit some part of his body and bounced away? I know. He only scored 140 a game.

You really need that slot, Phil. I mean, we traded Jacoby Brissett for like a seventh receiver. Right. It's starting to hurt a little bit. Jacoby Brissett for like a seventh receiver. Right. It's starting to hurt a little bit. Jacoby Brissett's good. It's exciting. What are you talking about? What's hurting you?

You have a great defense. I wish we had Jacoby Brissett. You've given up like 67 points in five weeks. Is it okay if I wish Jacoby Brissett was on the team? You have different receivers. Hogan is out, and you're still putting up 40. It's crazy. Denver looked so bad yesterday.

You can't even blame Brock, right? Do you think Elway wants to come back? He couldn't be worse. What if he was just throwing 15-yard outs? Alright, let's go to the lines. Let's do it. I have some good news. The bye week this week, we're going to lose the Colts,

Jets, and 49ers. Not too many fantasy players there. It's great. And Tate's Panthers. Thursday night is a good game. Steelers home for the Tennessee Titans. Mariota had a really nice game-winning drive yesterday. I was impressed.

Yeah, he looked like his old self or what we expect him to be. It was a good one. I really enjoyed it. Maybe having Delaney Walker in there didn't light up the scoreboard, but I think it helps a lot. And they have two running backs who can do stuff. They still feel like they're a receiver's shirt. I don't know if the rookie they picked, Corey Davis,

is going to emerge as the over-the-top. I thought that was a nice win. I think they've had a couple nice wins this year. I still don't believe in the team. If it's all right, I'm going to be coming late to the Mike Malarkey party. Two AFC South teams make the playoffs? Because I do.

Two AFC South teams. Six and three already. It has to be Tennessee and Jacksonville, right? Yeah. I mean, they go three and four the rest of the way. I think they're in. Jacksonville. I've never seen a team succeed like this. That was Alien Predator with Bortles and the Chargers screwing up games in the last minute.

That's a good way to put it. They really wanted a tie in the worst way. It just got screwed up. What happened? You're moving back. Yeah, I'm moving back. My back was bothering me. The chairs at dinner last night were.

That's because you made fun of Romo's back. I know. God's punishing you. I know. I have the Steelers by three at home for Tennessee. I might be off. You're not going to like this. I said six.

It's seven. That's too high. I'm going. I'm in playoff mode. I guess the Thursday night maybe bumps it by a point. Right. Yeah. You're going to lay seven points with the Steelers?

I'm just waiting for them to explain. A team makes no sense to me. Fantasy aside, Le'Veon Bell should have two touchdowns. Brown should have one touchdown every single game. I feel that Juju Smith-Schuster have saved them like two or three games. They would have lost

two, three, I think three games. They would have lost the Detroit game and yesterday, I think, if not for him. He's like eight years older than our kids. I know. He can't legally drink yet, right? Isn't he still 20? Yeah, he's still 20. He is 20.

Incredible. Yeah. I'm amazed by anybody succeeding at age 20. Really? Just like in the NBA, all these dudes. Like Jason Tatum, who's been just remarkable for the Celtics. I just can't believe how much I enjoy him. And I think he's 19.

And he carries himself like he's 30. Is he 19 still? Yeah, he's 19. I don't know what's happened with this generation of athletes where they come into the league and they don't behave like young people. Like when we were growing up, the 19, 20-year-old people came in and they acted like 19-year-old idiots. They're flaky.

Yeah. These people come in and they have their shit together. I don't understand it. Sunday, the marquee game. Can't believe I'm doing this. Vikings-Rams. Of course it is. At Minnesota.

Case Keenum-Jarred Goff. Who would have thought that would be it? Case Keenum-Revenge game. Right. This is the game of the week. In Minnesota. Crowd's going to be going nuts. Got to give them credit.

Come on, the fans are going to be mad if you don't give them credit here. I'm so taking the Rams in this game. Are the Vikings by three and a half? I said three, and it's two and a half. So they are begging you to take the Vikings at home a little bit here. The best thing about the Vikes this season is that they have two receivers that get open. Yeah. Thielen and Diggs receivers that get open. Yeah. Thielen and Diggs are open a lot.

Yeah. And Keenum's been hitting them a fair amount of the time. But if they had an awesome quarterback, I think that offense would score. Plus, to lose to Alvin Cook and still be competent offensively is pretty crazy. I'm trying to think of the Rams' schedule here. Do they have a good road win?

I mean, they win every week, but... Well, this was the case... No, they went to the Giants. When I did my week one column... Oh, Jaguars was a good one. I picked the Rams as the surprise team this year because of the first 10 games. But now this is where it gets bad. I think they have some tough ones now.

They have Seattle again in Seattle. They got Minnesota in Minnesota. The Saints. have some tough ones now they got uh they have seattle again in seattle they got minnesota and minnesota the saints saints which who knew that was going to be a tough game right four months they have a good road win that at jaguars double digit win at cowboys without sean lee but they beat him up there man i don't know nice game i'll be taking the ramps i hope it's good i hope we don't look at it like oh oh, there's Goff. Oh, there's Case Kidd. That's what we know.

Let it be a good, solid game, mistake-free, better defense wins, however you want to play it. The Poopfecta has four teams this week. Arguably could add more. Yeah. First one, as always, the Browns. The Poopfecta staple. They're home this week.

Going against Blake Bortles. My advice would be not to tease the Jaguars in this game. Really? Yeah, just don't put Blake in a tease. Just don't. Just don't. It's a mistake. Well, what if you're going against the Browns

who never, ever, ever, ever win? You did the Trubisky money line yesterday. Another mistake. Yeah. Trubisky drops back. Can't put the bad quarterbacks. Tate, weigh in on this before you take a big sip of that coffee there. He drops back about 30 yards.

Yes. And he doesn't have a shot to make it out of there. His pocket is in his imagination. I don't get it with him. I think he doesn't want to get hit. I think he's used to being in shotgun, and now he's under center, and he's just like, why are there so many people around me? I've got to get away from this.

Have some design run plays or something for that guy. completions yesterday i know i know that's improvement that's getting better when i lived with my best friend jeff gallo in boston yeah in the mid 90s madden 95 was out and i was like so much better at madden than him but his offense was to just he would hike the ball and then move backwards like 20 yards and then just chuck it. Right. And half the time the guy would catch it and he'd start laughing. I would get so mad. I'd be fucking throwing my controller.

I was just so furious. But that's the Trubisky offense. It kind of is. He just runs backwards 20 yards. You're right. He should just start throwing it downfield. Yeah. I had the Jags by eight.

I said eight also. It's seven and a half. So we'll split that one. Okay. I don't know. Don't tease the Jags. Oh, come on. Don't tease the Jags.

Don't. Guess how many Sundays. I bet on Josh McCown yesterday, and that's it. That's the last time I back a bad quarterback. I might get this wrong by one. Guess how many Sundays in a row the Browns have lost. Going back to last year? Well, whatever.

15? 26. It might be 25. What did they win on Thursday night? No, they beat the Chargers on a Saturday. Seriously? Yeah. They've lost 26 straight Sundays?

Yeah. Every week we could have bet against them. Yeah, every Sunday. They're so stupid. It is true. It's like every week they don't cover. Even down 10-0 to the Lions, no one who had bet the Lions was scared. Every week we're like, hey, we got this Lamborghini in the showroom

called the Browns spread. Take it for a ride? And you're like, no, no, no. I want to check out the souped up Toyota Camry in the back. I'll get back to the Lamborghini. And then we never get back to the Lamborghini. Let's take the Lamborghini. Green Bay is in the poop factor this week.

They're home for Joe Flacco and the Baltimore Ravens. This is a terrible game. I tried not to watch any of the Bears Packers yesterday, but ended up getting sucked in a couple of places. Hold up. One of these teams will maybe make the playoffs. This is a loser-leave-towns match. Yeah, I agree.

I can't believe it, but I have the Ravens favored by a point. Yeah, you get this. I went Green Bay minus two and a half. Ravens favored by three. That's fair. Well, so they're supposed to win this game. I don't know. Do you think having Rodgers on the sideline with the ski cap,

that helps the Packers, I think, the celebrations. Oh, you think so? Yeah. I think the Rodgers vibes are good. I'm sure he's thinking about coming back, if they can just get to like eight and six. Hundley wasn't terrible. He threw downfield, he ran a little bit, and took off when he had to.

He's pretty bad. There's a lot of bad quarterbacks. I don't know what to make of it. Like, the Bears had a great defense when I bet that we had the Saints against them, minus nine. Saints only won by eight. Like, how did they not win that game by 40? I thought Jordan Howard in fantasy, I thought he was going to rush for like 230 yards.

Right. No, he got bottled up a lot. And what happened to Tate's dude, Tariq Cohen? I don't know. Is he going to be out of the league soon? What did he do? Can he help produce podcasts? Can we make him an intern? Yeah? I don't know. Is he going to be out of the league soon? What did he do? Can he help produce podcasts?

Can we make him an intern? Yeah, I can hire him. We can have him for our fantasy football team. All right, third poop-fecta game. Still better than McCaffrey.

I wrote this down wrong. Who are the Dolphins home for? The Bucs. This is the Storm game. This is the Storm, not rematch, but they've moved

that Storm game to week 11. That's probably a bad sign for both of these teams. Yeah. That was a bad way to start the year, just in retrospect, from a vibe standpoint. I had the Dolphins by three. I don't know. You got it exactly. I said Dolphins by five.

I thought it would be a little higher with Fitzpatrick coming to town but it's three I will say Tate's Panthers playing Dolphins tonight I do like

their running backs I think one of them is hurt I'm not sure if Williams is playing but I like Drake and Williams I thought they

were doing stuff I know you do I don't mind their team I think they could kind of hang around that plus nine and a half. I think that line's too high. I do too. And also the NFC kicked the crap out of the AFC this week and I have a feeling

like I'm talking about it too much and now the Dolphins get revenge or keep it close. I don't know what to say. But Tate, your team should buckle down. You have a bye next week. You can go into the bye seven and three. That'd be phenomenal for you. But I think Khalil might not play tonight.

So that's the big one too. Really? Yeah. If Ryan Khalil doesn't play, KMI could hit. It might not be fun. It's definitely not going to be a McCaffrey game, I don't think. Oh, he's saying you're losing your fantasy. He said Landry's getting 39 yards receiving. McCaffrey gets a 6. I'm fine. I'm not worried.

That'd be a terrible loss. All right, last poop effect of the game. This is a beauty. This is just a glorious one. Houston coming off a shellacking by the Rams at home, playing the Cardinals of Arizona, and I'm not sure who the quarterback is. It's not Drew Stanton, right?

There was a question mark by his name, but I don't think he's playing. So who's the quarterback then, Tate? You know this, Tate. It is Blaine Gabbert. Oh. The poor man's Blake Bortles. Wow. I got the Texans by four and a half.

Had to put this one on the Vegas zone. Wow. I said Texans by three. Arizona by two. In Houston? In Houston. With Blaine Gabbert? And let me ask you this.

How much money can we put on this? It's Gabbert against Savage. What a matchup. Jesus. But you, do we cross Houston off? Well, we will now. I don't think we should. Really?

I don't know. Give me the schedule. I just think that we should. Really? I don't know. Give me the schedule. I just think that AFC, anyone could get that sixth spot. I'm not going to give you a whole schedule, but they have Arizona, San Francisco, Baltimore, and Indy on their slate. So, I don't know. I think Indy's a team you want to play the last four weeks of the season, because I don't think Brissette is going to make it.

No? He takes a lot of hits. Their line's really bad. You hated that concussion. I thought Brissette. Oh, he was 100% concussed. I was watching when that happened. I know, but he did.

He passed the lie detector test. He got his bell wrong and he jogged off the field. Yeah, but he waited a second, though. You could tell he was fucked up. But I think if you've ever had your bell rung and playing football, you could kind of get out of it for 10 seconds. And that's what he did. He was still messed up, for sure.

And the refs should almost get fined for missing that call. It should be part of the ref's job. Yeah. Yeah, if everyone else is going to take heat. How did you feel about the Vontaze Burfecht? Burfecht Strangers? The tie. Burfecht Strangers.

How did you feel about that tie? They say he's notfect Strangers? Burfect Strangers. How'd you feel about that? They say he's not going to get suspended, though. I don't think he should. I thought there was a little profiling with that flag. He's dying to get suspended. He loves it. He loves it. Hey, what's worse than having lousy sheets?

Tate, how's your sheet situation right now? Pretty good. Yeah? I remember having bad sheets. Yeah? Now I have great sheets. Great sleep starts with the red sheets, and they're more affordable than you think with Bowling Branch.

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And since Ball & Branch sells exclusively online, there's no expensive retail markup. Half the price, twice the quality. When's the last time you got new sheets, Sal? I think my mother buys them for my wife and I every anniversary or something. Oh, well, tell your mom to go to bowenbranch.com today. $50 off your first set of sheets plus free shipping if you use the promo code BS, my initials.

Try them for 30 nights. If you're not impressed, return them for a full refund. $50 off plus free shipping right now at B-O-L-L and branch.com. Tate's got a new bed from this podcast. He's going to get $50 off sheets. Tate's got two beds because his girlfriend moved here but got her own place, which I kind of respect it.

Did we discuss this? Wow. We haven't really talked about it yet. How far away are you? We're like 10 minutes. She's got a roommate. I got roommates. It's too expensive out here in Los Angeles. You have to have roommates. Look at him crying for a raise? Look at that. Look how he does that.

But wait, so does she know his roommate? No. No. Random. Like single white female? She'd rather live with a random person than you. Yes, exactly. I think Kay played this perfectly.

No, I think he did too. He's 24. He can't live with this girl. I don't know if He locked into this situation. Go ass backwards into it. Good for you. Can I change my captain of the week? It might be Tate.

The Red Zone has four games this week. The Red Zone group. Broncos home for the Bengals. Actually, is that a Poopfecta game? Can I get a ruling? It might be now. Broncos home for the Bengals. Tate, would you put that in the Poopfecta? Yeah, that's it. All right. That's another Poopfecta game? Can I get a ruling? It might be now. Broncos home for the Bengals. Tate, would you put that in the Poopfecta?

Yeah, that's it. All right. That's another Poopfecta. A bit demoted to the Poopfecta. Two, three, and six teams. Five Poopfecta games. Broncos by three? I guess.

Yeah, you're getting it. I said four. I didn't change it after last night. Whatever. It's two and a half. So you're going to get that one. Their defense is so bad. They missed Wade Phillips, and you have Von Miller,

who has experience giving Brady happy feet, and you know that's the only way you're going to come close to winning this game, and he's in coverage against the aforementioned Dwayne Allen, who can't catch a pass, although he caught one yesterday. I know it's not as simple as that, but the Broncos. The Pats had some good stuff ready for them in that game. Yeah, they did. I could tell two reasons I could tell they were going to blow them out

was when they started doing weird stuff early with the backs. Right. And then spreading the backs out wide and running little slants. And then Brady was locked in. Anytime they show Brady just holding clenched fists, screaming on the sidelines, it's like, our record has to be like 120-2. And that team is good off a bye.

They might be the only ones anymore. Yeah. All right. Is Lions at Chicago is not a poop-fecta game, right? It's getting there. Borderline red zone? There's a whiff of poop-, right? It's getting there. Borderline red zone? There's a whiff of poopfecta? It's brown zone.

I have the Lions by two and a half in Chicago. I hit this as the only one I got exactly. Three. Lions are a straight three. I don't know what to make of the Bears. I wouldn't have bet on them yesterday, but I did think they were going to take care of business. It seemed like a special teams running game. I did too.

A couple defensive turnovers and they win by 10 and it was the opposite. Packers off a few days rest. Do you think they win that game though of Cunningham? If he doesn't, if that's just... Because at that point they would have had an eight point lead or something? No, they would never

have... Oh, was that to tie? Or maybe they would have taken the lead. They would have taken the lead by a few points. It, no, they would never have. Oh, was that to tie? Or maybe they took the, they would have taken the lead. They would have taken the lead by a few points, but. It does feel like that changed the game. Yeah, would have, you know, then they could have run the ball a little more. Third game, or I guess second game in the red zone, Chiefs at the Giants. I, the only reason this is in the poop fact is because the Giants, I think I speak on behalf of everybody who hates the Giants.

I know you hate the Giants. Tate, do you hate the Giants? Two times I liked them in my life So Tate doesn't hate the Giants A lot of sports begging me And Tate's like I hate the Giants This is glorious to watch the Giants Completely turn into a dumpster fire

I love it so much And only 90% of it is because they took two Super Bowls from me. But I have the Chiefs by 10.5 in Giants stadium and I think they could get to 50 points if they wanted to. You're killing me this week. I said 7 and it's

actually open to 10.5. It's 11 now. So you get that. That is a 10-point tease waiting to happen. This is the last days of Eli. He won't be in the Giants next year. It's the last days of McAdoo. McAdoo might get fired by the time we're done with the pod. I almost feel like we should just wait and just keep refreshing something

and see if it comes up. Should we make him our captain? He's on his own raft, that guy. I don't know. Last red zone game. Chargers home. Home meaning LA. Sort of home.

Sort of home for the Bills. Unbelievable Chargers season. They've had like 20, last two years, 21 one-score games. And for some reason I've watched, I think all of the games they should have won. And they really should have won all the games. All of them they should have won.

Yeah. I've just never seen anything like it. I don't know how they didn't win that game yesterday. Has anyone ever lost a game where the guy caught the game-winning interception and pranced out of bounds and then his team lost? I had a few people tweet me or contact me like, wait, I shut that off. There's no way. I don a few people tweet me or contact me like, wait, I shut that off. There's no way. I don't understand how they lost that game. It's bizarre.

I had the Chargers favored by three points. And yet they are favored. I had three as well. It's four. Think the Buffalo fans will travel for this one? Well, that's the thing. East coming west. Probably not.

That's another one of my favorites that hasn't mattered too much. West going east, East going West. How many Buffalo fans in this game other than Brian Barton? Brian Barton will go, right? Good for you, yeah. Craig Powell go with him? No, Powell's a – I'll go with him. No, just he'll go to drink with him.

Yes. Not too many. I don't know. You think the Bills – Yeah, I guess I'll be around. I think this game could have the lowest number of fans ever at an NFL game in the last 50 years. Yeah, I think there could be like 12,000 people at this game. Oh, total, you're saying?

Total. Yeah. Wow. Because first of all, it's November. We're heading toward holidays. Nobody wants to spend Sunday at some game for two teams they don't care about. There's not going to be a lot of Buffalo fans there. I just think there's no real interest in this game.

These are the three and six Chargers against a Buffalo team that's not going to make the playoffs. Yeah, but the Bills, they are going to make it. They're not going to make it. Buffalo's not making the playoffs. I don't think you're familiar with the AFC teams. Somebody's going to jump them, whether it's Oakland or Baltimore. I refuse to believe Buffalo makes it.

All right, all right. I don't know. Chargers haven't been home in a while, I feel like. Maybe people come out this game. Maybe we should go. No, I don't know. Chargers haven't been home in a while, I feel like. Maybe people come out this game. Maybe we should go. No, we should not go. This is in your Poufecta, isn't it? Should it have been?

Oh, it's a red zone. I see. I get confused. I think in my mind, the Chargers are never there. I always want to see what's going on in their games. There's a lot of overlap between the Poufecta and the red zone. Lombardi asked if Belichick coached the Chargers with the record. I like that.

And I think you guys are going to discuss that more on Thursday, which teams, what the Belichick. Oh, is that the next NFL? That's Lombardi's plan. Yeah. He wants to work it out. Can I say what I think the Chargers record would be with Bill Belichick? What?

I think they would be 8-1. Really? Yeah. I think they would have lost the Patriots game in New England, and that's it. Because he would have thrown it? He would have thrown it, because he would have been coaching both teams. It would have been so weird for him. Bill Belichick, that he's on the same level now as Tom Landry, a stoic genius.

Never cheated, never took pictures, never deflated. Couldn't even take pictures. They didn't even have a Polaroid camera back then. I remember the last years of Landry were really grim. That was sad. It was kind of, you could tell they were unprepared. I would think I was in high school. I was like, wow, this team looks like they don't know what's going on.

Last year's at Aikman, last year's at Landry. Those are some rough times for Dallas. All the years of Romo. Wow. Hey, Romo's looking pretty good right now. Yeah, he is. I don't think he'd come back to this team if he had the choice. God, if he was the Jaguars quarterback.

Yeah, maybe let's do that. Fournette's going against nine-man lines now. Bortles at one point in that game was 11 for 12 for 75 yards. Yeah. Because there was a nine-man front, and he was just throwing check down think passes. Do that, Tate. Do Belichick coach and Romo quarterback.

What will these records be for some of these bad teams? For the Jags, they beat 10 and minus one. The watchables, I got two. Pats Raiders in Mexico City. I'm very proud of you for knowing that this is in Mexico City. Yeah, you should be. Are the Pats by seven and a half? It should be probably that high.

I said six and a half, and it's five and a half. So I get that one. They said there's a possibility this game might not happen in Mexico City. What? I don't know. I don't know. I thought they were having issues said there's a possibility this game might not happen in Mexico City. What? I don't know. Why? I thought they were having issues down there. Am I wrong?

What? I heard on the radio they were talking about what the backup plans would be if this didn't happen. Oh, right. I didn't know. I don't know. I know Donald Trump plans on— This might be my version of fake news. It'd be fake news.

Speaking of, I could see Trump building a wall during the game just to get back at Brady for not visiting the White House. I think the Pats, I wouldn't put them in a six-point tease. I think they're a money-line team. Yeah. Jack Del Rio's not beating Bobo Ocek. I'm with you. They're not ready to lose this game. Jack Del Rio.

So there you go. All right. So Oakland will be four and six. They're going to pass the bill somehow? Yeah, you're right. So there you go. All right. So Oakland will be 4-6. They're going to pass the Bills somehow? Yeah, you're right. Who do you have passing this Bills team? I'm going to lose that bet. The possibility, though, is the Bills might finish at 5-11.

They have five wins right now. Are they getting more wins? They definitely have two more against New England. I don't know. They have the Jets in there. They haven't played the Pats yet. Right. They have two more.

I don't think they pass seven wins. I hope you're right. I don't know. They have the Jets in there. They haven't played the Pats yet. Right. They have two more. I don't think they get, I don't think they pass seven wins. I hope you're right. Other watchable game. This is a good game. The Redskins have been involved in entertaining games this season. Yesterday's Vikings game

was super entertaining. Great plays, really stupid coaching, controversy. It was everything I want from my early morning Sunday game. Now they're going to New Orleans to play

the feel-good Saints. Feel-good unless you have Drew Brees as your fantasy quarterback. Then it feels bad. Then you're like, I don't understand. They scored 47 points and Drew Brees had 15 fantasy points. Yeah, he ran one in. Saints minus six over the Redskins. That's what I have. I said seven. It's up

to seven and a half now. Let me add these up here. Three, eight. Beware of the skins and the tees. I'm beating you here. All right. You'd be,

yeah, this is the kind of game they stick around for. Right, the Redskins? Yeah. Sunday night. Actually, let's build up the suspense for Sunday night actually let's build up the suspense for Sunday night

because it's Eagles Cowboys one of the better lines we've had to guess all year let's talk about Tracker we're all looking for something for some it's love for some it's purpose for some it's unforgettable experience for me and Sal

and our wives it's their keys oh me and Sal and our wives. It's their keys. Oh, yeah. Who loses their keys more, your wife or mine? Mine is sunglasses. Yours might have keys. So if our wives were together, your wife would lose her sunglasses as my wife lost the keys, and they would just be scrambling around.

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for 20% off any order. That is thetrackr.com slash BS 20% off. Can the tracker help locate a left tackle for the Cowboys? Is that too hard? What happens when the tracker meets the clapper?

The clapper chasing Garrett. Well, he's coming up right now. Yep, here he is. Dallas home. Must win. For the Wentzwagon. For the state of Wentsylvania. For the state of Wentz-ylvania. For the Firebird. I like Firebird.

I have the Eagles minus two and a half in Dallas. You get it. It's three and a half. I said two. Three and a half? That's not a lot of respect. Eight and one against five and four. You have your left tackle back for this one?

You know, it's groin and back. Groin and back. Jesus. It's a lot going on. But let me tell you about the Sunday night game real quick. The favorite, 7-3-1 in Sunday night football. 5-1-1 against

the spread in the last seven. So, go ahead. Take the Eagles. I don't think we have a chance if Sean Lee and Tyron Smith aren't in there. That's all. I like when you lock out completely. That usually means some craziness for the Cowboys.

What about in our fantasy league, Elliot spent a lot of money on Zeke Elliot and then spent a lot of money on his backup Darren. On Elliott, yeah. And then spent a lot of money on his backup, Darren McFadden. Oh, that's right. He had like 15 bucks or something on McFadden, right? He ended up spending like 65 bucks on those two guys. That's all Al Farris.

Thinking Elliott was going to miss the first six weeks and come back. Instead, he's going to miss basically the entire fantasy playoffs. And then McFadden's not the backup. It's some dude I've never heard of. Who's that guy? Rod, whatever? You know Alfred Morris? No, the other guy. Who is Rod? It's Jalen Smith's brother. Linebacker's brother. Rod Smith was on the field for

more plays than Alfred Morris. Yeah, although Morris had to get like 11 carries on him. I don't know. Well, either way, bad strategy. Yeah, it's trouble. Not as bad as Brad Mulcahy's strategy to spend all of his money on three receivers, one of whom got hurt five weeks in. Yeah, it's trouble. Not as bad as Brad Mulcahy's strategy to spend all of his money on three receivers, one of whom got hurt five weeks in. But, um, alright, Monday night. That would be

a good special podcast for us, Worst Fantasy Football Strategies. Yeah. I still want to do the thing where I just draft I just draft three running backs and three receivers and then take quarterbacks for the next...

Just get like 10 quarterbacks. I'm saying like 10 quarterbacks. Just get all the quarterbacks. Quarterbacks are always in vogue by like week two, week three. Everybody needs their second one or they misfired on one or like you have Roethlisberger and he sucks. I just want to hoard all the quarterbacks.

Jacoby Brissett is a nice waiver wire pickup. So I don't know. Who would you be blocking? You know in our league week Jacoby Brissett is a nice waiver wire pickup So I don't know who would you be blocking You know in our league Jacoby Brissett and Case Keenum So yeah Powell has him Monday night Seattle Home for the Atlanta Falcons This is a good game

I think you need this to tie me People think you cheat I'm telling you go back People are like Sal Sal cheats. He's never done this well. That is true. I never have done this well. I had the Seahawks by four. I win.

Seattle by three and a half, and it's three. Tough one. People are wondering the derogatory name for Matt Ryan. Would you go with Flat Ryan or Matty Melt? Oh, I like Matty Melt a little bit. Matty Melt's pretty good. Yeah, yeah.

Who ordered the Matty Melt? Yeah. Yeah, I think that's better. I got another email from Jackson in Los Angeles who said, are you prepared for when your son Ben grows up to be exactly like Nick, the PE teacher from the first pair corner? Are you prepared? I'm not prepared.

How do we prepare you for that? I don't know. More time with Nick. Yeah, get to know Nick. What's your parent corner? Are we ready for your parent corner? America's favorite segment that still doesn't have a sponsor.

I was in Vegas this weekend. Oh yeah, you went to explain that story. Yeah. You ended up in Vegas with the family. I had non-refundable plane tickets only i do this so i was like you know what i'd sooner put homeless people on that flight than then eat the cost and uh yeah and the homeless people actually lived in my home i took the family to vegas and we went by the way lots lots of raider stuff lots Golden Knights stuff, too. They love that hockey team.

But if that Raiders deal falls through, that city's not ready for that. And it could happen. But anyway, so my first gambling experience, I think, was flipping baseball cards when I was five. Yeah, you were obsessed with that. I loved it. And then nothing else kicked in until I was like 11 or 12. I went to visit my cousin Jimmy, 50 years old today, in Las Vegas. And my Aunt Chippy also lives in Las Vegas.

She plays video poker nonstop at bowling alleys and casinos and everything. Is she still smoking? Still smoking. Not as much. Not as much. That's good to hear. But still smokes a little. But back in the day, she would smoke.

And I would stand. I think I was supposed to stand like 20 feet behind her and I would tell her I'd give her $20 and like keep the queens drop the

you know I would instruct her and that's it that's how I got my It was like the beginning of a Bronx Tale 2 like a Vegas Tale That was it

Right so I take the whole family we visit Aunt Chippy she lives in the same house I should mention when she turned 70 like 6 years ago Jimmy and and I, she was losing so much money, we bought her a video poker machine.

We figured maybe it's just a thing with an OCD thing. She needs to play. She doesn't need to actually win money. Right. We were woefully mistaken. She needs to lose money. Right. We had $100 and quarters.

It didn't matter. She needs to go out and play and smoke and lose and maybe get a comp to the crappy buffet she's going to. Anyway, that video poker machine is still there. My 12-year-old goes in there. I hear it lighting up, and he's learning how to play, and he's in there for an hour and a half. I guess this is better than Call of Duty or any Madden game.

Great. He is hooked now. He got a full house, the fourth hand in, boom. So now he's going to play video poker, the saddest game to play in a casino. Exactly. I was always worried that I would convince him to gamble, but I'm going to blame this one on Aunt Chippy again. She turned another family member.

How did you gamble in Vegas? What do you mean? With the fam. Did you sneak off? I had him 12. Is this why trash to have the 12-year-old watch everybody in the room while you and the wife go gambling? Well, that's what you did?

Yeah. You can do that with their 12. That's what I did. Our kids are 12 and a half now. We stayed in the casino. We didn't go anywhere. So you kept the kids in the room. Right.

Your son was in charge. Mm-hmm. And you and your wife went and played blackjack. Am I going to get child protective services called on me? Why? I think that's totally... Think about 30 years ago. We were on our own every day, all day.

Yeah, he might be 12. He might be 9 1⁄2, 10. I don't know how old he is. He's fine. Just lock the door. No, he's 12. So you went and gambled. Did you win?

I think I won for the first time in seven trips to Vegas. It's really hard to win with the wife. Playing blackjack, yeah. Yeah, yeah. In general, a Vegas trip with the family is a D compared to with your friends. Right? I love everybody, but come on. It does feel like you want to go to Vegas with like Jacoby.

Yeah, right. Yeah, he wasn't there. Yeah. My parent corner is, my daughter is 12 and a half now and wants to go off with her friends and needs money. Yeah. I'm going to go to the mall. Can I get $20? So that's all starting.

And I did notice that there was money missing from my wallet. So I'm not blaming her, not blaming my daughter, but it's just suspicious. But my wife got tickets for Hamilton on Saturday, which was like an American Express deal, so she just grabbed them. And it was two tickets, and my daughter and my son, we dropped them off, and they went to Hamilton as a date. Really?

Gave them, they really wanted to Hamilton as a date. Really? Gave them, they really wanted to buy t-shirts or something. So gave them plus food. And so my wife gave them like $120. Oh, wow. Everyone's going to hate you after this. Well,

no, she figured, she figured just to be safe, like to get food, but, but, you know, save the rest and give it back to me.

They come back. Great time. There's $60 left. They have no merchandise. There's $70 just missing. Trying to figure it out. My wife's really mad. Can't figure out what happened to the $70.

There was some sort of, some homeless thing where they were collecting money for charity and my daughter claimed she gave that $5 because it was the Hamilton Stars were posting it after. Still didn't explain

the missing $65. Right. And we have no idea what happened. So they went to this whole anytime we give the kids any money now there's like all these set of rules and they have to do chores and like this is it my wife was so mad i've never seen her so mad you would have thought

they lost like 25 000 she's like i just don't understand what happened you left with one third 120 and now you have 60 what happened you have no t-shirts she was just so mad at my daughter and i was just like just a window of the next five years of my life. Them yelling at each other. Maybe she bet the bears and was embarrassed to say so. And then last night, they were going to dinner. I was going to dinner with you for Jimmy's birthday. And they decided to go to dinner to the little country club.

And you can't wear jeans in the country club so my daughter comes down with these ripped jeans and she's checking herself in the mirror for 10 minutes and she's just entered this whole stage that we just detest and my wife got so mad that she was wearing the jeans that she was just berating her on the stairs wow this is it i don't like the person you're turning into it was like that kind of stuff I'm like I'll see you guys later I'm gonna be late for this Jimmy dinner

I just like hightailed hightailed the hell out of here so when this is called parent corner it's because you're in a corner while all the parenting

is going down I'm in a corner pouring gasoline on myself as my wife's parading my daughter oh man yeah it's just

it's all happening remember the scene bringing back to Vegas in Casino where De Niro sits Sharon Stone down because she went on a binge with her boyfriend.

It's like, all right, we're going to figure out where this money went. All right, you bought him a watch. What could that be? Two grand?

Three grand? What's the rest? What's the other 22 grand? I'm not doing this right now. You gave $5 to the charity. Okay, there's $55 unaccounted for. Maybe I know

he's got a watch. I know what kind of watch he gets he's not getting anything special yeah so today that's it my my kids don't have school today because the school they go to likes to have these parent teacher conferences for like four days that where nothing happens and they could have just sent us an email would have been the same thing and my daughter wanted to go to the mall with her friend and my daughter my wife was was just like, no way. Yeah. No way. You're not going to the mall. I'm not giving you money. Get a job. She said, Bill O'Chek, what do you babysit? How about that? These parent teacher conferences cost you like $450 a day. Just send us an email. Do we have to drive in and nobody has school? Like we're paying for school.

I love it. Have school. Anyway, that's it for school. I love it. Have school. Anyway, that's it for this week's Parent Corner. That was pretty good. If anyone knows what happened to the $55. You know what? Maybe you could put the tracker on the $55. Can they do that on the tracker?

I'm sure it does everything. I'm sure they put pixels on each $20 bill. Somebody's enjoying it. All right, what do you have to plug? Big birthday show tonight. Big show. I can't say. I could say Ben Affleck's on.

That's true. But so many more surprises than that. Is Matty Melk going to be on? Matty Melk? Ryan? No, he's not. I don't think he's going to make it. Yeah, check in 1135 tonight.

Jimmy Kimmel Live. It's going to be a lot of fun. And yeah, the January trifecta is ice cold. We're going to turn it around this week on Against All Odds with Cousin Sal. Maybe the people should start going against the trifecta. We could do that, too. We provide information. You do with it what you please.

What was the best piece of advice that Titus and Tate gave you? Because you had them on the pot through college basketball features. Yeah, they were great. We took big favorites. We took middle tier, and we took long shots. So who was the best bet? Villanova was a big one, right? Villanova was good.

What odds were those? 28 to 1. 28 to 1. We figured they're going to be probably a two seed because they're going to rip through the Big East. Yep. And that was the one we got the most response from. I like that.

Villanova. What were the odds? 28 to 1. To win the whole thing. To win the whole thing. To win the whole thing. Senior point guard coming back. Best player from the National Championship two years ago. That was out last year, Phil Booth.

And if there are two seed, they'll be like 7 or 8-1. They shouldn't have trouble getting there. Where did R.J. Barrett decide to go? Duke. Are you serious? Yep. That's a Canadian guy? That fuckhead.

Typical Canadian. God. The Canadians just don't know any better. The worst. The worst. Why did he do that because he's canadian jh canadian he's not a not a patriot it's like the most ani american thing you can do that's why he did it probably exactly he's trying to spite us all see i'm growing to like duke more because tayden went to duke and i love that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I absolutely love him.

It's the first Duke player. And Kyrie went there for like a week. Yeah, like nine games. Kyrie, Duke, he played 10 games there. Yeah, he didn't even play in the Carolina game ever. Your name is in Tatum. That must kill you. You must hate that.

It's tough. It's really tough. Do we want to just very quickly before we leave do any NBA? I guess there isn't. They have no lines anymore for the title, all that stuff. It's not up? I didn't even look. I think, just quickly and then we'll go.

I think there's only, I think there might be only three and a half teams that can win the title. Three and a half? Yeah. All right. The Warriors, I think the Rockets can win the title. Celtics, you're going to say? No, the Spurs.

And then Cleveland if they make a trade. I mean, my team, as much as I love my team, I think without Hayward, it would be impossible for them to win the title. If Cleveland uses that Brooklyn Lottery pick and makes a deal, I think they could potentially win the title. You were saying Celtics-Pistons last night. I was joking. You know they're going to be in the Eastern Conference.

They'll be in the Eastern Conference Finals. We're relying on a lot of young dudes. Defense has been phenomenal. They won a game again yesterday against Toronto Defense. People were all over our Sixers under bet. And then when they reeled off five in a row, I was like, I'm not quick in my bids. Six and four, and then they've lost a couple times.

They definitely lost that Golden State. We're fine, right? We're fine. Gambit hasn't gotten hurt yet. I mean, I hate to say it, but the odds of him playing 82 games is pretty slim. Simmons is better than I ever imagined. He's freaking awesome. The league's really good.

The young guys, it's incredible to watch. You can't believe the 20-year-olds, yeah. The league pass, like Porzingis and this next generation of dudes. Giannis is only 22. It seems like he's older than that, but he's not. And there's just good basketball all the time. I do not believe Cleveland will turn it around without a the time i am not i am do not believe cleveland will turn it around without a trade i think they have to do something they will though right i mean if they probably will isaiah's coming back which will help them lebron will scream and scream and scream

until they make a trade it's tough though because i if you're running cleveland you say all right we'll make a trade but you have to sign an extension yeah right we're not making a trade then you leave. It's going to be like a cat and mouse game. The interesting one, though, is I thought Boogie was going to be the big trade ship, but I actually think New Orleans might be good enough to make the playoffs with those two guys, which I didn't expect.

Boogie and Davis are... Boogie's been out of his mind this year. He's an MVP candidate. So I don't know if he gets traded. All right. Thanks to SeatGeek. $20 off your first SeatGeek purchase on NBA tickets. Use promo code BSNBA. Thanks to Sonos One.

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Cannot be combined with other discounts or promotions. Use promo code SIMMONS10 at Sonos.com to receive this exclusive offer. Don't forget about all the podcasts we have in the Ringer Podcast Network. You can go to theringer.com slash podcast to catch up there dark night is coming for the rewatchables this week i'm not on that i haven't seen that movie enough times but we had uh it's in the right hands for that one and against all odds one shining moment black on the air one shining podcast black on the air sue us one shining podcast black on the air all of us forced to keep that name you better get it right so check all those

out don't forget about my calm on friday on the ringer.com and uh don't forget about jimmy's birthday show tonight jimmy came alive abc so good job good job by you belly We saw that I don't have. I don't have.