The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Week 2 With Cousin Sal (Ep. 258)

Episode Date: September 11, 2017

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons brings on Cousin Sal to recap all the NFL action from Week 1, including the QB panic meter (6:00), Russell Wilson's woeful protection (14:00), Carson Wentz's impressive debut (18:00), fantasy football standouts (24:00), and Tony Romo's budding TV career (30:00). Then, Bill and Sal run through all of the Week 2 matchups and give out their best bets for the week (35:30). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network. Brought to you by SeatGeek, our presenting sponsor, the easiest way to shop for tickets thanks to their revolutionary grading system. Football fans, I hope you used the $20 off your first SeatGeek purchase on NFL Tickets Code. It's promo code BSNFL. If you haven't used it yet, use it this weekend. Download the SeatGeek app or go right to SeatGeek.com.

We're also brought to you by DirecTV. DirecTV or DirecTV, Sal? How do you say it? DirecTV? When I write the check every month, it's DirecTV. DirecTV. Yeah. If you live in an apartment or are an enrolled college student,

now you can get NFL Sunday Ticket without a satellite. I gorged on NFL Sunday Ticket yesterday. Did you really? Yeah, I had a smorgasbord in my house. To see if you're eligible, go online to NFLSundayTicket.tv. Stream every NFL Sunday Ticket yesterday. Did you really? Yeah, I had a smorgasbord in my house. To see if you're eligible, go online to nflsundayticket.tv. Stream every NFL Sunday Ticket game this season to follow your favorite team. No matter where you live, use promo code Bill Simmons

at checkout to save 15%. Again, nflsundayticket.tv, promo code Bill Simmons. We are also brought to you by The Rewatchables. That is our new pop culture podcast. Later today, Chris Ryan and I will be taping Silence of the Lambs. Oh, it's a good one. Which I rewatched this weekend.

Let me tell you, it still holds up. Does it? It's still great. Won all the Oscars. Every single Oscar could have won it. Swept the board. So we're taping that today. We're putting that up, I think, tomorrow. And if you want to bang out Silence of the Lambs after this late Monday Night Football game tonight, watch that.

Also, last week we mentioned, we had Shea Serrano on talking about Houston and the charities he supported, Shea7. Just wanted to give those again. Supportthegirls.org, portlight.org, gofundme.com slash, oh, I can't even read it, it's so long. It's angels by nature

is that one Houstonimmigration.org Houstonfoodbank.org BakerRipley.org HoustonPetSet.org Don't forget to check those out I put all of them on my Facebook page

Hope everyone in Florida is doing today doing well today Yeah And all of a sudden it was going toward my buddy Gus outside of Orlando He thought he was going to miss it then all of a sudden, it was going toward my buddy Gus outside of Orlando. He thought he was going to miss it.

Then all of a sudden, it was like the eye of the storm was coming at him. Poor guy lived in Connecticut for 100 years. Yeah, nothing happened. Nothing ever happened. A little snow, and it moves the family. But yeah, thankful he posted pictures. Kept power, but man, that was...

Would you be one of those weathermen who's out there with 100 mile an hour winds I feel like we should be more scared for these people One of these women was almost like Falling over the deck I talked to firefighters I can't drive the truck I have to be in it

I think it's probably the same feeling With some of these weathermen I'm standing in front of a green screen For three and a half years Before anything happens Anderson Cooper was right in there. It's just like getting nailed. His hair's all over the place.

Maybe, I don't know, maybe you get exhilarated by it. But I was scared for everybody. Hope everyone in Florida is doing well this week. Coming up, Cousin Sal and I breaking down week one, doing the Guess the Lines week two. Here we go. Pau Sal. What's happening? Palsal What's happening? You had a flag football game

5 o'clock, head-to-head with Cowboys Giants You were all freaking out about it Turns out you literally missed nothing You missed not one thing I literally did miss nothing Because I was the a-hole parent Who was streaming the game on my phone The DirecTV app

I love that i've also been that a-hole parent the bad thing is when your kid sees you looking at the phone and it's a look of disappointment it's better it's better if you have a son than i think a daughter because the daughter is just filing away like oh wait wait till you see the guy i'm bringing home from college when i'm 19 that's the kind of glare they give you? My son looked up from the field. I was about 18 rows up in the bleachers, and he saw I was watching my phone, and he took his actual flag,

Blake's flag football, and dried a tear from his face. Wow. What are you going to do? We had a terrible day of football yesterday. I got to be honest. Seattle versus Green Bay was a terrible game, and it was horribly officiated

and was super disappointing and then Cowboys-Giants was worse you know you wrote 6,000 words on how football sucks and then it turns out football sucked I wrote how the offseason sucked I didn't know the season

was going to suck I know there was one let me go through these stats real quick first of all there were really no bad beats I think one game

no there was one bad beat what happened to be your bet of the week. The Steelers minus 9.5. We'll talk about that in a second. It's ridiculous. But the only one game I think came down to the last play, and that was Falcons-Bears. Two games decided by a touchdown or less.

The under was 10-2 yesterday. Not much scoring. Six teams scored fewer than 10 points. And as Lombardi points out, the offense should be ahead of the defense at this point so what do we need to look forward to really bad i'm upset that we didn't have the cowboys giants under which within five minutes was the most obvious bet of the week right yeah it's just like wow the giants look like they haven't practiced brandon marshall and eli must

have miscommunicated five i don't i still don't know whose fault it was. I just know that Brandon Marshall was repeatedly wide open, but the ball wasn't going anywhere near him. Yeah. And the running game and the offensive line is bad and all that stuff. But it's – now, here's the thing. Now, the overreactions. What's the biggest overreaction? Because I think it's like – I'm going to cut the Giants some slack.

The best player was out. Your best player's out. It's going to show. But did you see that graphic at the end? I think they've had 91 points in their last seven games dating back to the last six from last year. They have not scored 20 points in a game since mid-November. Yeah.

I mean, that's a problem. I wanted to go through which fan base should be panicking the most about their QB before we get to Guest Alliance, all that stuff. Because it's panic time. Let's start with the Giants. Eli looked terrible. I don't know. First of all, they looked like they hadn't practiced all summer.

And I don't know what they were doing for the last three months. But they just looked completely discombobulated. But he had no arm strength. He had happy feet. We've seen him look like this a million times, but what's he in his mid-30s now? I think he's like 35, 36. 36, is it? 36.

If I'm a Giants fan, I'm concerned. Sure. I thought he looked awful. For a couple years now, they should be concerned. Yeah. But again, I don't know. That offensive line may be as bad as everyone's saying. I don't know how much credit to give Eli here.

It wasn't good, but he was still missing wide open guys. That's bad news. It's bad news. So I'd be concerned if... I think the days of starting... Is this really a list? I mean, there's going to be like 15 quarterbacks. I have six.

Really? I think if you're starting Eli in a fantasy team, I hope it's like a 25-team league. Right, right. Because I can't think of 12 teams or less. I can't think of any scenario where you ever start Eli Manning again in a fantasy league. Maybe like eight games are canceled because of hurricanes or something.

I don't know why you would ever tell me that. The hurricane would have to go through the entire United States. Number two team freaking out about their QB, the Cardinals. Carson Palmer was just an atrocity yesterday. And he was up and down last year. I remember him finishing the year OK, but Lombardi was obsessed with this topic. Like, what are you going to do about a QB? You can't bring him back.

He's not going to get better. He's just older. He was really, really, really, really, like, almost looked like he was throwing the game, even though I know he wasn't, like some of the passes he made. And I thought he was so bad at single-handedly changing that game. They got a turnover touchdown to start and it just seemed like they

should have had momentum and he was awful. Lost David Johnson along the way a little bit so that wasn't great, but I apologize. I had the Cardinals I think winning 10 games and I forgot how atrocious he is. And it's not even just when he's pressured now. It's really just he's doing it on his own.

He's missing throws. Looks Matt Schaub in 2011 or whatever that year. That kind of feel to it. I had him as my DraftKings quarterback this week. Oh, wow. Just torpedoed my team. It was just that. That was it.

So bad. I could have had every other guy right. They passed on DraftKings quarterback. They could have had Every other guy right They passed on Drafting quarterback They could have had Mahomes They were in a nice spot For any of those guys Yeah

Well So From what I saw from him I don't think that gets better The Bengals Yeah That was one of my big picks Salah did well

In my column I saw that You're a A charger Teaser Away from the sweep I hate football I hate football I hate football Here are my winners And they're all All gonna win No I didn't say I saw that. You're a Charger teaser away from the sweep. I hate football.

I hate football. I hate football. Here are my winners, and they're all going to win. No, I didn't say I hated the offseason. But I had the Rams. I went big on the Rams. I went big on the Ravens. Beautiful. And then I have the Steelers Chargers tease.

But the Bengals, they were 6-9-1 last year. They brought back the coach and the QB Who have never had any real success And now their offensive line is worse And I think We've never really seen Andy Dalton With a bad offensive line He's always had really good offensive lines

And maybe he's overachieved for what he actually is He was horrendous yesterday That team's going to be bad That might be the overreaction team Is that the overreaction team or are they bad? What's weird about that is I like in these lopsided games, we tend to give less credit to the team that won

like the Ravens. We probably should be praising the Ravens a little more. Defense was great. And instead we go after the Bengals like, wow they're really bad. And I put a poll up on Twitter. I said, Bengals fans, who, which Lewis would you want coaching your team? Marvin? Right now.

Marvin, Huey, or Jerry? Huey Lewis. Jerry's dead. We should pour it out. We should pour it out for Jerry, but over 5,000 votes, and Huey, I think that's like 57%. At least Huey would be a breath of fresh air in his face

he's a sports i don't know if you're bengals fan you're just looking at marvin lewis and andy dalton was like these this duo has already peaked and we never won a playoff game when they peaked yeah i'm gonna wait for joe mixon to get good to give a little spark into this offense i think they're in trouble it's not good and i made a big bet in week one in the column about that ravens d because i like what they did. I like when teams double down on something they're already good at, and the Ravens are just like, screw it. That was my computer for some reason.

The Ravens are like, screw it. We're good at D. We have Justin Tucker. We're good at home. Let's just double down on all that, and we'll score 14 points a game, and maybe we'll get defense and special teams. And it's really the fantasy strategy which is my fantasy team this year

because I have Justin Tucker and the Ravens defense it was like 33 points combined alright so those three now the fourth team the Panthers I thought Cam looked terrible we gave Tate a mic this year just for a tiny bit.

A lot of people wanted me to pass that message on to you, Cam, that Cam is awful. Cam looked banged up and misthrown. That was my takeaway from Cam yesterday. He's always bad on the West Coast. That was where the Super Bowl was. Sorry he choked. Had a lot of mental stuff going on.

He just managed the game, and they won. It was easy. Okay. I'm not freaking out. I was more concerned than that. I thought there'd be a lot more scoring. I really did. I don't know why. What about McCaffrey, though? We heard about

McCaffrey the whole summer. He had a lost fumble. He got the most touches on the team. He struggled. Right. I'm going to keep an eye out on that Panthers team. I like them. I still think they win 10 games. I'm rushing them. I think they win the debate. I didn't like how he played in that game. Seahawks is the fifth team that should,

the fan base that should be worried about their quarterback. For a quarterback or offensive line. Well, I'm worried, does Wilson play 16 games? I don't know. It's so weird. Does he play 13 games? I mean, he was running for his life. I mean, this was the thing.

A month ago, their left tackle goes out and everyone's like, oh boy, well they'll replace him. His stats weren't that great and he was like 26 or something. Then they signed Sheldon Richardson and they make all these defensive moves like Seahawks are unbeatable. They still can't protect this guy. And one of my

preseason prop bets that I'm most proud of is Eddie Lacy under 750 yards. He looks like he's going to be out of the league in mid-October that I'm most proud of is Eddie Lacy under 750 yards. He looks like he's going to be out of the league in mid-October. I like that. But they're going to win the division, right? The Rams are going to challenge them? What happens now?

I think Mays pointed this out on Twitter. Apologies if it was somebody else. The Packers are a Deion Lewis trade waiting to happen. Even watching them yesterday, they have Montgomery, who I like, but they're missing that. Lacey's just can't play anymore. If they had a Deion, the Pats, for some reason,

have four good running backs and nobody good on defense anymore. But Deion Lewis, I think, is a logical trade for them. I don't want to overreact to how bad the Seahawks line was because I think the Packers D might actually be pretty good this year. And it was a weird game, and they got boned over by really two of the most terrific calls.

You didn't see a punch. I saw a punch by Lane. I really did. The guy, he attacked him. He grabbed his face mask. He went completely after him. That was crazy. A lot of these things, the league looks at it to see if they're going to suspend the player further.

And I actually think they're like, not only are we going to suspend you, but we're going to give you a little per diem here. Here's $150. Just put it in your pocket. What happened? I didn't bet on the Seahawks. I did have them in the Super Contest. And they just had 11 points taken away. And it was, they lost

by 11. But they were bad in the second. That game was lost when they again, goal line troubles. They went, they kicked on fourth and goal at the two. They need seven there. Inside the two is just their step fonder. You just know the Packers aren't done scoring, right?

So you have to get seven there. The pick six would have helped. Sure. It would have helped if they had the lead and were instead of – once they fell from behind, you kind of knew it was over. But I'm with Wilson. He said after the game he didn't understand why they didn't go no huddle more, like spread out shotgun.

That seems like a team that should be doing the spread out, Tom Brady's second half of Super Bowl 51 offense. I think that would help. Pace, guys move around half of Super Bowl 51 offense. I think that would help. Pace, guys move around. I like their running backs. I thought Carson was good. Yeah, he ran hard. He'll go for 20 bucks in our fantasy league this week, I feel like.

Oh, you think so? Yeah, he's good. The Bears guy, Tariq Cohen is the. Well, that's the one. So I have Jordan Howard. Oh, right. I spent $45 on Jordan Howard, and he's not the best running back on his own team. How much are you going to bid?

What are you bidding? I'd have to bid $100. I'd have to clean out everybody. Here's what I'll say. You talked about teams that didn't look ready. Seattle looked not prepared at all. Guys falling down, cramping up and everything. That was weird.

It just exhausted everybody. Who's the guy? The 12 men on the field, like Aaron Rodgers. It'd be interesting to see how many games they've lost when he's caught a team with 12 men on the field and has done that pass they're like probably zero or one over the last five years who was the guy at halftime there there Michael was it Michael Bennett was in trouble yeah he's still in the locker room he's dehydrated right like I don't know what do they practice the fifth the sixth team that should be concerned about their quarterback

or maybe not concerned the uh the Washington professional football team. Yeah, again, offensive line just running for his life, and the throws weren't there either. Is this a way to knock down his value? You just gave him five terrible offensive linemen? Oh, I see. And he stinks, and then you can sign it. You're not going to win the Super Bowl this year anyway.

That's smart. Then you get him for like $8 million a year. That's pretty good. He just gets shellacked. Maybe he'll break his collarbone in week six. Yeah, it's true. Where are they paying these blue chippers? Of the

teams slash fan bases that should be excited about quarterbacks, please don't throw Blake Bortles at me. I thought Lombardi and Tate did GM Street last night. Lombardi nailed the Bortles thing. Bortles with a lead, not asking to do anything, looks fine.

I'll be interested when they're down 10 without Allen Robinson now who's out for the year. Sure. And I think they wanted to run 70% of the time, and they did just that. That's the only way they stay in these games. 14 to 10, 17, 13. Take it. They're not going to get 10 sacks a game That's for sure

Not going to get 4 out of Calais Campbell I don't know why Houston started Tom Savage But now Watson's in Hopefully they'll start him Thursday night I thought Goff looked good But Indy's so bad it's hard to say But at least he didn't look bad So that's a bonus

But the one who looked good was Wentz I thought Wentz was Wentz was doing stuff last night yeah if I'm an Eagles fan it'll be interesting Lombardi kind of went all in on Doug Peterson not being confident of the coach but I don't think he was factoring in the Carson Wentz jump from year one to year two which we've seen we have but they always get off to a good start don't they Philly in the red and too excited and the Washington team might not be good. Right.

So that's possible. But Garrett Blount, six games in a row with a touchdown now. Went for a dollar. He went for like a buck. One dollar. And it was like one of those fast bids, too. It was like, one dollar, Garrett Blount going once, going twice. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Well, nobody really wants him, but should he go for a dollar? All right, drop the hammer, a dollar. It was very strange. I'm still recovering from when I threw Matt Forte out for a buck and nobody bid and I got stuck with him. I thought he would go for two, so everybody just kind of stared at each other. I'm like, oh wow, Matt Forte for a buck.

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You lost week one on the Steelers. You left the back door open. I told you to lock the back door. You're right. You went to bed. You're like, no, no, I think my wife locked it. Right, I'm still in the summer haze. The door's open.

People are just coming in your house and you're on one for the year. Well, I knew for sure when the Steelers, first of all, first touchdown of the year, nice emotional roller coaster is the block punt and the Steelers recover 7-0. I'm like, great, I'll take that. That's my best bet. 21-10, 12 minutes left. Big Ben throws a pick at the goal line. I was like, that's it.

This team's done scoring. He had the Browns plus 9.5. He really did. They really looked like a team who just wanted to win. That was it. I'm going to throw this out there. Are we sure the Browns plus nine and a half. He really did. They really looked like a team who just wanted to win. That was it. I'm going to throw this out there. Are we sure the Browns are bad? Yes.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't think they're that good. It wasn't like the Steelers were mailing in that game, not trying to win it, not doing stuff. I think they thought, they kept thinking

there was going to be this moment they pulled away and they never did. And the Browns kind of hung around. Even that last drive for the backdoor cover was like a nice drive. I was impressed. I'm not going to lie. I was impressed. But what do you mean not bad?

Like five wins? We're not going to get more than five. Well, I think people thought, like in our wins pool that we did, the Browns and the Jets were the only two teams that didn't get picked. Somebody picked the Colts. I think the Browns are better than the Colts. Right? Sure, for sure. Wouldn't you say the Browns? I think the, I'm sorry, the

Colts. I think the Colts are the worst team in the league. Colts under 7.5 was the best over-under win bet. God. It's just, it's such a winner. Somehow I didn't do it, even though I wrote a big chunk of my Friday column about go against the Colts, this is the team to short. And somehow 7.5 wins, they never were going wins they never were gonna get seven half wins yeah is that gone we can't bet

that now i don't think it's down to two and a half chuck's first coach fired thing has got to be even at this point i mean he had some weird quotes greg doyle wrote a good piece in the indianapolis star chuck pogano had quotes like this is our offensive line. I promise you they're going to be good. He went all in on a couple things and they're just tremendous. What about the other quote after the game giving kudos to the 49ers? Oh yeah. He's preparing

for the wrong team. Of course he's going to lose. Tolzien's now 0-3-1 in starts and with I think two touchdowns and nine picks career. He's 30 years old. I'm going to say he's not going to get better. He might not be the guy.

Like Jacoby Brissett, just bring him in and run the freaking option with him. He's got to be in. Fantasy guys that I thought, I just want to make sure you're good with Steelers, Browns. You've recovered. You shook it off. The only other thing, it's a bummer, and I'll bounce back this week, but Hugh Jackson gave me a shot. It was 21-10.

It was 4th and 2 at the 4. And he needs two scores. I would throw it and he'd kick there. Field goal. Yeah, I was like, oh, my God, I have another shot here. And then I was like, something stupid about a goal line anyway. We had teasers. First of all, we cheesed the Chiefs and the Pats.

So we started out Thursday night. I've already lost money. Then we did Steelers, Falcons, and Rafael Nadal. Right. Barely won that one. Do we have to send Jordan Howard a cut? We may have to, yeah. For dropping that pass at the goal line. If he catches that pass, Do we have to send Jordan Howard a cut to dropping that pass

at the goal line? If he catches that pass, though, isn't the time run out? I haven't seen a ton of written on that. Oh, that's interesting. He would have gotten tackled. Yeah, they had no timeouts. And then the other one we did was Nadal, Steelers. Can you imitate the text I sent you at like 9 o'clock yesterday? What was it?

I can't remember. About the Texans? I can't remember what you said. I was was like i'm watching these pre-game shows there's no way the texans are losing today they're gonna be fired up blake portals walking in the heart of the beast and they're down 19 nothing too much emotion so we lost on that but we can still chargers we still break even for the yeah uh fantasy tarik Tariq Cohen, Kenny Galladay, who's somehow on the Bar-Owls team in our league. Yeah, someone has him. Nelson Aguilar, the Ravens D.

Any other fantasy I can't believe we could have seen that one? Do the Ravens running back? West and Bo, what's his name? I like the other guy. Yeah, who is it? Javorius. Javorius. Javorius.

Fuck Allen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I liked him. Fantasy guys to be worried about. I'm concerned about Allen Robinson. No, it's out for the year. Don't be.

Don't be. Don't believe everything you read. David Johnson looks like he's out for six, seven weeks with a sprained wrist, which makes no... He's sprained wrist. You can't play with a sprained wrist? Wow. I think it's got like a break or something. It's got to be a break.

Something bad. Jordan Howard. Wow, it would be terrible to spend... How much did you spend on him? $45? $45. I should have set it on fire. And then...

What about the Patriots receivers? Well, I was going to say Gronkowski. Yeah. We didn't talk after the Monday game. I mean, we didn't talk on the podcast after the Thursday game. Gronkowski looked old in that game. It really scared me as a Pats fan. And Lombardi pointed out in the podcast with Tate today,

they started out doubling Gronk. And about in the second quarter, Eric Berry's like, I got this. Put the other guy somewhere else. Eric Berry shut down Gronk, which I got to say, he's 28 years old. I've been watching him since 2010. I've never seen a safety shut him down one-on-one like that before. And Gronk looked like he looked uncoordinated and slow. And I don't know what his, hopefully he was sick.

But this could be the end of an era. No. Well, two things. First of all, you're not a true Chiefs fan if you wouldn't trade that win to have Eric Berry back because that is a rough, rough blow and he is the only reason that Gronk couldn't get open. The second thing is I texted, we're trying to put together a teaser.

You and Sid, you're like, no, I like the Patriots, Steelers. We should do that teaser. You were with me on the Patriots. We ended up doing it but what I proposed and I ended up also doing was Patriots to win

and Gronk to score a touchdown so they're up 7-0 Gronk catches the touchdown pass I text yes and 17 exclamation points

I go to my car to get something and I'm getting a bunch of texts from people including you like classic Sal like hilarious

from other people la la land for week one what the hell happened i go back not only does he not score but they get stopped on fourth down if they go up 14 nothing that game is over maybe the season's over for everybody else it's the key point because first of all he should have caught it yeah and at every point of his career he catches that pass this is the first year where it's like he had a step on the guy the ball was delivered in the perfect spot and he should have caught it and it was a it was a four point swing and 14 nothing the chiefs have to basically throw away their playbook at that point and play from behind and i don't know that was that i wonder if

that's going to be one of the most memorable moments of the season overreaction's the biggest overreaction right now, that the Pats defense is awful. Out of every overreaction, I don't hear a ton of people saying Jacksonville, that the Pats defense is awful, and maybe that the Rams are a playoff team. Those, to me, are the two biggest overreactions. The Rams might be a playoff team. If you look at the sked, this is I laid this out on Friday. Maybe, yeah. Nine and seven is very realistic for them.

Another overreaction. Thursday night ratings down 11.5%. Right. It's a big number. Doesn't make a lot of sense to me. That means out of every 100 football fans or casual football fans, 11 of them this year decided, I'm not interested in Pat's Chiefs. So what are they blaming?

Are they blaming Kaepernick for the Pat's Chiefs? Like, the guy's not in the league. So why are they blaming now? Collinsworth. Big misfire by Collinsworth last night. What did he do? When they brought up Elliott in the beginning, he's like, we're going to just talk about him as a football player today.

Did not go over well. Is he going to have to come around and apologize here? Nah, they made up for it. I think somebody got to them because in the third quarter, they made up for it. I think somebody got to them because in the third quarter they started talking about it. It's rough. You can't avoid the Zeke Elliott

if you're doing this Sunday night game. I want to see the guy show some remorse. That's it. Just a smile on his face. It goes such a long way. I will say the feed me sign had definitely not as much fun this year.

It was like, all right, good. After like a 12-yard run. Feed me. Another hero of the week. An Italian kicker, Definitely not as much fun this year. It's like, all right, good. After like a 12-yard run, not even a big deal. Another hero of the week, an Italian kicker, Giorgio Tavecchio. Is this our new favorite guy? Janikowski may not see the field anymore. It could be a Hall of Famer. We lost a Polish kicker, which is a blow,

but we've gained a Korean kicker and Italian kicker. That's all right. It's nice. It's pretty exciting. Giorgio Tavecchio. It sounds like a George Clooney character. This this is gonna be a george caluni sports movie yeah um and then finally your boy tony romo what do you give him at least a b plus right very solid i thought so no i'm gonna actually you know what quickly direct, DirecTV. Oh, come on. No, I want to save Tony Romo.

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Bill Simmons. A couple things I liked, and a lot of people have wrote about it last night and this morning. He was predicting stuff. We had reached this kind of Phil Simmsification. Poor Phil Simms took more of a beating yesterday just because we're not having broadcasted.

But Phil Simms, it was a lot of this something would happen and then after they're showing the replay and phil simmons is like you know we talked about it with the coach last night he said they're gonna it's like well why didn't you tell us right yeah romo they're going to the line and romo's like this is they're they're you know it's third down they just ran on this play that means they're going to go for it on fourth because you wouldn't run for it on third. He's actually explaining shit to me. He's looking at the line.

He's guessing plays. Why not predict more? Is this going to be a run? I bet they run again. Watch the receiver on the right. I felt like I was watching the game with him. I mean, he's raw. He's got to work on when the crowd gets loud

to yell more and stuff like that. Sure. But if the goal was I'm watching a game with Tony Romo, mission accomplished. I felt like we were watching the game with him. What did you feel? Absolutely. Same thing, basically. Like a little slow start.

I think he kind of tried to take everything in. And then the analysis was super. And I love the predicting. And why not predict? No one's going to think that the football is fixed if you make a prediction and get it right. It's great. I think he has a nice boyish enthusiasm to the game and not the Jimmy Fallon type that you want to punch in the face. Right.

But just nice. It really does feel like someone you want to watch. Like he genuinely enjoyed it. Yeah, you're not watching... There should be a difference between what you're watching and then playing Madden and hearing these guys broadcast in a vacuum kind of thing. There's not a lot of good color guys just in any

sport. Basketball really doesn't have one right now. I think Van Gundy's probably the closest. He gets too obsessed with officiating and stuff like that, but him and Jacksonson it's become shtick to some degree i think at this point uh smolts is good but kind of humorless yeah uh for hockey i don't even know the hockey yeah you like collins a lot of them are in i like

collinsworth collinsworth's good i'm used to collinsworth at this point right i had it just like new blood you know i thought for the nba, I thought Steve Kerr was the best guy. It was like a real loss when he left. They've never really replaced him. In terms of new blood, this was really good. It's great. And I think it has a potential. Tell the story about when you were watching him play Madden.

You got to tell that story. Well, I was. I bring up Madden and say he was – I don't even know. Have I told this before? No, you have not. We were over at Tony Romo's house,den and say, you know, he was, I don't even know. Have I told this before? No, you have not. We were over at Tony Romo's house, Jimmy and I, and he's talking about broadcasting. He showed us a little bit of a.

This was this summer. It was this summer. He showed us a little, like a pre. He called the Chiefs-Falcons game. That was the one. Was that Barry ran it back? Yeah. The two-point conversion, 100 yards, whatever.

So he called that again, and he showed us and i was like you know what you should do you should watch madden and see what the play-by-play is and the color commentary and then you then you could see what's marketable then you could see what you want to stay away from or go with he's like that's a great idea so he puts madden on and he plays and we end up watching him play all afternoon beating up up on these 12-year-olds. Now, he's only playing ranked kid guys in the world because at his rating, that's all you could do. And he's not listening for a second to what they're going to comment there. And Jimmy's like, do you realize you didn't listen at all

to what they're saying? He's like, I know, I've got to beat this guy. And he was changing every play at the line because he would see what defense he is, and he'd go for 13 yards on an offensive play. It was spectacular. He's playing like the top 50 Madden guys in the world. The kids are taunting him because you could hear it over the audio.

He never says anything back. They have no idea they're playing Tony Romo. It was a great thing. Finally, some kid was playing the Vikings who had to hit, stick, fumble, button down, whatever it was. Right, just kept fumbling. Every completion he had, it was an immediate fumble. So Romo was just going to the line in Madden, seeing what the defense was, and every time auto-bullying for 13 yards.

Right, he's like, yeah, he's not smart enough to cheat the safety here, so I'm going to come back with that. This is great, man. It was spectacular. It's funny, for different reasons, I think A-Rod being in the safety here, so I'm going to come back with that. This is great, man. It's spectacular. It's funny. For different reasons, I think A-Rod being in the Fox studio, he's had this second life to his career now. Actually, he was somebody who was hugely unpopular, and now has kind of become more liked from TV.

Romo was very well-liked, but then had this whole thing, wow, there's this whole polarizing, is he a playoff QB, all that stuff. I think he's going to be the most popular color guy we've had for football since Madden. I really do. From what I saw yesterday, I was like, this guy is going to be the best at this job. I thought that too, and then I also thought,

as I saw Savage fall apart, I'm like, how quick a flight is it from Tennessee to Houston, right? That's why I'm bringing all this up. The irony is going to be in like six weeks, he's going to just play for an NFL team. Yeah, right. He's going to sign with whoever, like the Cardinals. I don't know about that. And then he's going to be gone.

And we're going to be like, oh, my God. Yeah. Six-week Tony Romo TV experiment. Well, it's funny. When Jay Cutler came in, someone asked him, would you be willing to go back to Fox if this doesn't work out? He's like, I don't know. It's something I would consider. He's like, you better consider it.

This is not a 10-year gig. You're going to be back figuring something out soon. I feel vindicated, though, because in 2015, we watched that playoff game with him. Right. It was the Packers game, I think, with the Hail Mary. The one that went overtime, yeah, Packers-Cardinals. We came on the podcast, and I was like,

Tony Romo's going to be great on TV. Remember, we had the whole conversation about it. I was like, this guy's unbelievable watching the game with him. He's just pointing stuff out, telling us. I didn't want to hear it, because I didn't think his career was over. Right, you thought he had seven years left. I was shutting you out. Yeah.

All right, week two. Let's do it. We should mention tonight we have two games. By the time people are hearing this, they're games. Right. One of them is Saints-Vikings, Chargers-Broncos. We both like the Chargers. We should mention tonight we have two games. By the time people are hearing this, they're games. Right. One of them is Saints-Vikings, Chargers-Broncos. We both like the Chargers.

Yeah, I like the Vikings, too. I like the Vikings, as well. I think they went pretty big. That line's a little bit low. They're both, like, three now. And this could be the year of the rookie running back, and Cook would play into that, because we've seen Cream Hunt. Fournette looked awesome.

Like, he's a wrecking ball. The kid on the Ravens, is he a rookie? They all look pretty good no no no he's second year guy yeah he's been maybe like just the up and coming new generation of running backs could be a theme i didn't how did mix and do i mean it was so bad that offense yeah it was hard to say yeah but but otherwise they're like four good rookie uh position players and is Is that kid Carson a rookie or is he second year? Yeah, rookie Oklahoma State. New blood. Thursday night, Cincinnati at home for the Texans.

This is almost a must-win game for either of these teams. It looks pretty bad. You don't want to be 0-2 eight days into the season with quarterback trouble. That's what's going to be the case for one of these teams. We'll see Deshaun Watson, I think. He did enough to keep the job. I into the season with quarterback trouble. That's what's going to be the case for one of these teams. We'll see Deshaun Watson I think. He did enough to keep the job. I have the Bengals by two. I had them by three and a half and it

is three and a half. So I'm up on you one-hundred. If the Bengals lose two in a row at home, you do call Huey Lewis in, right? It's just that easy. If you look at that AFC South, hard to say if Tennessee...

You and I were not believers in Tennessee. We talked about it all week. Somehow didn't bet against them. But I didn't see anything yesterday from them that made me think they're going to win nine games. For who? For Tennessee. You didn't see anything that makes you...

Yeah, they look like an 8-8 or worse team. Jacksonville, their D is good I mean they definitely spent money And their defense is good They still have Blake Bortles Maybe he can do the 2000 Trent Dilfer routine for 17 weeks And just pan off and stay out of trouble

Write the Colts off Write the Colts off obviously Texans If they go 0-2, I wonder how many teams have won a division starting out 0-2. That can't be a long list. I'm sure they'll show it 100,000 times. I like the Texans.

Let me ask you this. Do you remember Florida Evans? Yeah. What do you mean, do I remember them? I'm going back 40 years. I've seen every one of those. I'm talking to Tate. Good times is still...

Tate, you've seen good times? Yeah, of course. No, he's seen the poster in your office, but that's it. Florida Evans was always disappointed. Yeah. She was disappointed in her husband. She'd reason, right? Yeah, of course.

He'd buy a TV every time he thought he was going to get a job. That was disappointing. Michael would lead some protest at school. He'd get in trouble. He was disappointed. What's her name? Thelma and JJ fighting. She was the most disappointed sitcom character of all time yeah who was the florida

evans team of week one i i think it's the texans who would you say is the most disappointing the florida evans like you look i'm like oh that that sucks because i thought they would be better it was hard to say with the even though i I thought the post-hurricane, all that stuff, the emotion in the building, but everybody kept talking about how bad their offensive line was in the preseason. So I can't say I was stunned. The one... Are they at least a Carroll-Brady team?

No. Do you care? I haven't met any. You think they were the most disappointing? I do, but I know you have to factor in emotion. I'm going to be honest. I think the Giants were the most disappointing but I know you have to factor an emotion I gotta be honest

I think the Giants were the most disappointing that's a team people were talking about as a French Super Bowl contender their defense is great Paul Perkins

who I had a fantasy last year who sucked last year and he sucked last night I just think they did not look like a playoff team if they beat the Lions

by 10 and with Odell they're back I don't know if we had the Florida Evans team alright it's something to look for I like it

I like the gimmick though yeah Florida Evans it'll bring it'll bring the old 70s sitcom fans back to our podcast it's on TV1

channel 329 on DirecTV oh it's great Sunday marquee game. It was either Chiefs-Eagles or Pat Saints, and I think it's Chiefs-Eagles. I'm the most interested in that game. In Kansas City, I have Chiefs minus 5.5 against the Eagles.

What did you have? We both had 5.5, and it's 4.5. It's right in that zone you don't trust the vegas zone you call it but a lot of people convinced that the chiefs are incredible and we see this every single year yeah everybody gets super duper excited from a week one performance and the chiefs would be the gold medalist in this category and i think the jaguars and the eagles are silver and bronze in some order would be my is andy reed is there any ill will does he need this game more against the eagles plus with not a buy but he has a great record on on a buy week but basically he has 10

or 11 days to prepare is it that's important to him prepare for uh to look at Wentz tape and try to figure out a couple things with that, too. Chiefs have a lot of speed. That's why even they could be down seven in the fourth quarter and they just get some random ADR. That Tyreek Hill is terrifying. It's amazing. I was so scared of him in that game. It's a team that typically took them forever to score.

For many, many years. It would take them forever to get up and down the field. Now you have Kareem Hunt and Tyreek Hill. They could be good for two or three big plays a game. It makes me wonder, if they are a top four team, giving away what they gave for Mahomes versus just using that pick for one more piece. But Eric Berry, that's going to bother them.

That's like the Edelman injury for the Pats, which was the Pats really missed Edelman in that game, and I think they're going to miss him this season. All right, the Poopfecta. Yeah, you have four games. I have four for these. The first being the annual Browns go to Baltimore game to go see their old franchise that moved to Baltimore once upon a time.

That's right. I had no idea what to do with this line. I made it Ravens by nine because it's not like the Ravens offense was lights out. At the same time, I can't imagine any scenario taking the Browns unless it's like over 14. What would you have? It's funny. Vegas is a little in tune with you. Are we sure the Browns, it's like over 14 what would you have it's funny Vegas is a little

in tune with you are we sure the Browns they don't know what to make this I had 8.5 I went a little lower and it's actually

7.5 oh wow so that could be the scary game or it could be the teaser game of the week

well they at least proved that they have backdoor cover potential which you gotta look at yeah that's great you know you look at the Colts like the Colts

are down 20-3 yeah the game they're not what are they Scott Tol, that's great. You look at the Colts. The Colts are down 20 to 3. Yeah. The game, they're not. What are they? Scott Tolzien's going to lead two rallies in the second half? No, it's not going to happen. This Browns team, Kaiser can do some stuff.

They're not awful. Corral's a hard runner. He's good. They're decent. They can move the ball. By the way, I called Kaiser Pfizer last week in the podcast. You did? It was an old man moment.

I know his name's Kaiser. It's just, listen. Pfizer could be better. I turned week in the podcast. You did? It was an old man moment. I know his name's Kaiser. It's just, listen, I turned 48 in two weeks. We're going to have these moments this season. It's going to happen. So just be prepared. Oh, I'll be. I'm waiting. So Ravens, we're putting in a tease.

I think so. And how about Jeremy Macklin? Usually has to wait like 14 or 15 weeks before he scores a touchdown. I know. That's a big sign for the Ravens. I know. It's nice. I am a believer in the ravens especially at home they have been barnwell our old friend from grantland who now works for

espn did a piece about home field advantage and whether it actually matters or not he doesn't believe in that he doesn't believe no really he came up with all these stats trying to figure out if it matters and really the only two teams that had a real home field advantage were Seattle and Baltimore, which bore out basically what we've seen in the last few years. But Baltimore's home field advantage, we always hear about Seattle. Seattle, Seattle, the 12th man, all that stuff. Baltimore's great at home, especially against bad teams.

I don't know what the numbers are the last 10 years. I feel like all the playoff teams are 6-2 at home and 4-4 on the road. They're way better than that. Will you look up some Baltimore stat from the last five years or something? I think it's like 29-4. It's really high.

Second poop effective matchup, Raiders-Jets. I did Raiders 13. I don't want to talk about this game with Jeff. I had 13.5 and I get it because it's 14 Okay Third one Seahawks 49ers I had Seahawks by 12 and a half You get that one I had 12 and it's 13

Yeah so they're just begging us To put the Raiders and Seahawks in it Well they don't have to beg They just politely asked You did it? It's done And then the fourth Poopfecta game, Rams Redskins. Yeah.

I had the Rams by two and a half. I know I don't want to watch this game. Rams home. What do you have? Well, that Barnwell was right about. That is one home field advantage that doesn't matter. When there's 15,000 more fans at the cowboys rams preseason game that i was at than there are at the opening game at the colts but it begs the question

let me just say you you get this one because i had redskins minus two i was going by the over on the win totals yeah but uh and it's rams minus three is the line but would you would you want to win a super bowl every four years if it meant you couldn't sell out your arena yes you would like i wonder what like cronky this is more than he bargained for do you think he's asking how far along are we they did some tricks i think they limited the number they only sold like 60 000 tickets is that right i don't even know if they sold out that because they because of the traffic and all different stuff. I had a couple of friends that went. Is that going to go away ever?

Well, if you're removing 30,000 people going to the game, it makes it easier to get in. No, I know. It makes it easier to buy water, which was a problem last year. I didn't want to run out of water. But by all accounts, it got hot. The sun was out all day yesterday. It was in the mid-80s here. And you just bait.

There's no shade in that Coliseum at, what was it, two o'clock, and one from one to four in the afternoon, you're just baking. That's a good home field advantage for them, though. It is for them? Yeah, they don't care what fans are there.

It's like they want the other team to be baking. I guess if they get used to it being hot, and I guess this is an East Coast team. Yeah, the Washington, they have a shitty offensive line. This is the week the Washington fans are going to really turn on Snyder. I think they're already disgusted by this team. The whole McVay thing.

Yeah, this is more interesting than we think. I laid this out in my column on Friday. Home for Indy week one, blowout. Home for Washington week two, it's looking great. At San Francisco, Thursday night, week three, San Francisco looked horrendous yesterday. All of us thought they were going to be a little better than that. At Dallas week four, that's a loss. Home for Seattle week five, if their D's go in

and Seattle's offensive line, Wilson's already banged up. Well, they lost that last year, right? Yeah. It was like 7- that last year right? yeah they always have one game against Seattle they either win or almost win at Jacksonville week 6 home for Arizona week 7

bye week at the New York Giants week 8 home for Houston week 9 that could be like 7-2 oh I don't know yeah alright

5-4 Lions last year what were the Lions last year like 8-1 and they're getting Aaron Donald back we see this

every single year and this is the logical team this year if you look at it's really the only kind of team that could do it like I'm not

excited by the Bills went over the Jets no but I will say though Lombardi all summer has been like that guy mcdermott's a good coach that guy's a leader and you saw the the uh quotes from afterwards and the bills were like we follow mcdermott he's a leader he's great so they're going to follow him to six and ten but let me ask you real quick we had the uh we and this was a nice start. We had the Cardinals with the best, most points on Sunday. What did we get, like 15-1 yesterday? 12-1.

12-1? Disaster. We got the Rams. Nice score. Nice start, though. They're up 7-0. Nice start. What were the Rams?

I was going to ask you. The Rams were like 30-1. 30-1. Yeah, we blew it. 46 points. By the way, if we had gotten on the phone and talked about that for 10 minutes, I think we would have sniffed that out. Because you're basically betting against Scott Tolzien.

Yeah, it's fun. I have five road favorites this week, and maybe that's off, but we'll just zoom through them. Titans at Jaguars. I had the Titans favored by one and a half. Did Vegas think the Jaguars should be favored in this game? No, you got that. I thought Titans by three and a half, vegas think the jaguars should be favored in this game no you got that i i thought what did i i thought titans by three and a half and you got it exactly it's one and a half

titans by one and a half who do you like in that game i think i'm leaning titans but that's maybe i'm not giving it enough thought the case for the titans would be the raiders are really good this year yeah and made the titans look worse than they are and they're actually pretty good i said to you this is the one thing i'll reenact over text. I was like, are we ready to lose money on the Titans? Let's bet the Raiders. You're like, I'm not ready. I'm not ready yet.

I'm not trusting that Raiders team. I was like, no, you're not getting it. We have to lose money. So by staying away from the Raiders, we've actually also kind of lost money. Whatever we chose would have been a bad idea. Cards are at the Colts. This really was its own poop-fecto matchup,

but cards I had favored by three and a half at the Colts. I definitely would not advise betting on this game. I went slightly higher. I said four, and I think we were off by, this is the one we were off most of, on seven and a half is the line. Now you do want to bet it. Now you want to bet Arizona.

I don't. I didn't see one thing from Carson Palmer yesterday. Yeah. Tate, who do you like in that game? Cards, seven and a half at the shittiest possible team in the league, Indianapolis. Yeah, I think you got to give it to the cards. At least they put a good team. I'm not doing that.

No David Johnson? It's so much delay on the road for them. Who are their weapons? I don't even know. Who's their backup running back? Fitzgerald still plays hard. Andre Ellington, he was good a few years ago. Yeah.

Kerwin. Right, yeah. Good Lord. God damn it, I'm trying to drop. Steelers-Vikings at Minnesota. I think I hit this exact. Steelers by three. I think that's the line.

Wait, let's see if you did. No. I had five, and it's seven. Steelers at Minnesota? Steeler's by three I think that's the line Wait let's see if you did No I had five And it's seven Steeler's at Minnesota? No You got it wrong It's Minnesota

Pittsburgh Right? Oh so they're not road favorites Is it Minnesota Pittsburgh? It's gotta be Minnesota Pittsburgh I'm taking credit for that

Even if you wrote it wrong Yeah I wrote it wrong My bad Many a Pittsburgh Oh man So I deserve to lose that one anyway. Yes, I agree. I would have guessed seven for that.

So that should not be in the road favorite category. That should have been in the Sunday Watchables. Don't put that in there. So that line, depending on how the Vikings do today, that line could shift. If the Vikings look awesome today, that line's going to go down like five and a half. That's a fun game.

That's a good one. Also, that's a great 70s uniform game. It's just nice to see Steel five and a half. That's a fun game. That's a good one. I like, I also, that's a great 70s uniform game. It's just nice to see Steelers-Vikings. Bowl rematch. Cowboys at Broncos. I think I hit this one

exact. Cowboys by three. No, I said two and a half and it's one and a half. I don't know what they're expecting from Denver.

Well, we'll know tonight. Yeah. Denver takes care of business. It is hard. We haven't seen these teams. I like your team. Four teams. I think your team's good. I mean, we beat a team that we takes care of business. It is hard. We haven't seen these teams. I like your team. Four teams.

I think your team's good. I mean, we beat a team that we didn't really have to prepare for much, it seemed like, and we methodically kicked the crap out of them. And I don't know. It wasn't much fun to watch. Your defense, the front sevens, I know the secondary is not as good as it was last year, but the front seven looks good.

They have some blue-collar guys that play hard. But Skandrick broke his – I think he's sitting out a game. That's not good for you. That could hurt. And then – I mean, there's a broken wrist that's only one game, so I wonder – I don't know. They're misdiagnosing somebody. David Johnson or something's up.

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So anyway, tracker. That's the way to do it. We really are like 24 season two right now, being able to track stuff. We really are. This is great. I think the stuff that happened with, was it Equifax? Is that what it's called?

Where basically everybody... I was apparently hacked. Did you check your list? No. Because apparently that's another scam. If you check, you have to put your social security number in. Remember in the mid-90s, everybody was like, don't put your stuff online. And then within 10 years everybody's like no no it's fine now it's

totally not fine all of our information's i know but how do you not put your credit card in an amazon like how do you just it's so i trust amazon right i know but it's still out there i was watching the net with sandra bullock which has been the most dated recent movie of the last 25 years. That's the worst decision you've made putting your credit card stuff on. I like mid-90s Sandra Bullock. I get sucked in. I always have a soft spot for Sandy. Dennis Miller's in there as her psychiatrist boyfriend.

That's right. Ends up getting killed. But that movie basically lays out everything that's happening now. Really? Yeah. Don't trust anybody. I thought the internet was going to be called the net. That was going to be the hit thing.

Everyone will call it the net. No one will call it the internet. That movie and Disclosure, they laid out this whole world that, just be careful. All right, Sunday Watchables. I got three. Wait, you didn't get to Patriots. You said before we got to Patriots. Oh, yeah, Patriots, Saints.

We should talk about this. Pats at Saints, I have minus three and a half for the Pats. You predictably went too low. You don't believe in your team. I went six and a half, and it's six. And nobody's betting the Saints. Come on. No one's betting the Saints here.

On a teaser, this is a freebie. You're not going 0-2. You're not going 0-2. Our defense is terrible. The Chiefs, every time we're going to score a touchdown in the second half of that game, I'm scared. I'm scared. Isn't Bill Belichick salivating?

Saints on a short week? Great. You have 10, 11 days to prepare? I'm frightened. We have the worst set of linebackers we've ever had. As my dad said when we talked the next day, he was like, the white guy not vannoy that the other white guy who is that guy cassius where'd he go like these guys look like special teamers

and they're trying to cover kareem hunt yeah i'm scared that's rough that's a tough place you don't have to cover brandon cooks though on the saints anymore he's yours true that's what's good the fly in the ointment of this past season, people were worried about the front seven and that, you know, who is the edge rusher? Do we have enough linebackers? And then the draft pick, Rivers, that they took in the third round,

that was going to be the big pick. He got hurt. Yeah. It's just, Nikovich retires. They just don't have enough bodies. But I'm sure they're gonna, they'll pick somebody off from like the Colts practice squad

who end up with 11 sacks. But for we two, I'm concerned. The Patriots, historically low between two and a half and three and a half to one to win the Super Bowl,

up to plus 550 now. Wow. Remember we talked last week about the 31 teams to win the Super Bowl? Yeah, you had that. Now the Pats was like minus 550. I will say this. This is what makes me feel the best about this game.

Brady in a dome has been really good. I don't know what the numbers are. Did you find the Ravens numbers? Yeah. What is it? Ravens cumulative home record since the Super Bowl 2013, 20 and 11. Then from 2008 to 2012, Ravens home record is 27 and 5. So pretty impressive.

So 2011, the last couple of years. But they've basically been a slightly over 500 team since they won the Super Bowl. And those are five. 2011 home, and they're like 11 and 20. That's pretty good. Not quite as good as I thought, but still good. Sunday watchables, I have three. I'm intrigued by Panthers-Bills.

It's in Carolina. I'm intrigued from a watchable sense of I want to see more from Cam Newton. I want to see how they use McCaffrey this week again, because it was clear he was like this new toy. They didn't know what to do with. They tried all these things with him, but I think they'll probably learn a couple things that worked, didn't work.

And then the Bills, maybe the Bills will be frisky this year. Who knows? They traded Watkins. They traded Darby. Everybody kind of wrote them off, but new coach. They had a bad coaching staff last year,

obviously, with Rex Ryan. I'm intrigued by this game. I want to know what happens. What do you think? I think this is going to be my trap game here. We both had seven, by the way, and the line is seven and a half. And there's always a couple, maybe more, 2-0 teams that are weird. Is it the Bills?

Is it the Jags? Is it the Rams this year? Is it all three? It could possibly be all three, which is weird. Yeah. Is it the Bills? Is it the Jags? Is it the Rams this year? Yeah. Is it all three? It could possibly be all three, which is weird. But like I said, I like the Panthers. I'm not that impressed

by the Bills over the Jets. So the Texans killed everybody in the suicide pool this year. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. And the Panthers look like the week two kill everybody who takes them.

Right. There's some good choices otherwise if you want seattle and oakland just want to advance but true but if you're trying to get cute right this one yeah this would be the one put the panthers in a tease i would just be careful the panthers i didn't love what i saw this week uh second one bucks bears it was tough we didn't have the bucks dolphins this week because of the hurricane, obviously. But there were two teams I was really intrigued by for week one. I just kind of wanted to see Dolphins, Cutler, what's that going to look like. The Bucs, I think, are a Super Bowl contender.

I was excited for that. So now we're getting Bucs-Bears, which is a bummer because I also thought the Bears, they were kind of on my radar as maybe being like the frisky 6-10-79 possibility team They're definitely frisky Bucks, Bears I had Bucks by 6.5 That's probably a point low No, it's high

I went 6 and it's 5.5 Okay But I'll say this Peter King did a nice job Laying out the schedule For the next three weeks For the Tampa and Miami It's kind of brutal The way these guys have to travel It's a bummer So if you don't have to nice job laying out the schedule for the next three weeks for the Tampa and Miami.

It's kind of brutal the way these guys have to travel. It's a bummer. So if you don't have to handicap any of these games, don't do it. I really like the Bucs. I'm a believer. All right. And Tampa got hit hard yesterday with the hurricane, but there was about four hours before it hit there yesterday where it seemed like it was going to be a catastrophe.

Really bad, yeah. And then not as bad as they thought. I think everybody lost power and stuff like that, but it really seemed terrifying there for about four hours. Chargers-Dolphins. Another one. I have the Chargers minus four against the Dolphins. We have no idea.

The Chargers haven't played the Broncos yet, so they might get killed tonight and this line might go down. What do you have? Yeah, we haven't seen either of these teams. I don't know why. I had the Chargers minus one, but you hit it on the head. It's minus four. Another fun 70s, 80s uniform matchup.

Yeah, this is, I don't know. Miami's been off but traveling all over to get away from the storm Chargers playing on a short week also first game in the 27,000 seed stadium let's go to both the Rams and the Chargers I'm so not going to go

I can't think of anything I'd not want to do more than go to a football game people on the east coast are like hey, you going to go to this game? The Rams or the Chargers are like, not only am I not going, I don't know anyone who's going. I know. Do you ever know anybody? It's sad.

I know. I guess people go because they show stands. Paid actors, extras. Paid, is that what it is? It's like seat fillers left over from the Emmys? Yeah. I know my friend Connor went yesterday, but he had awesome seats. I think you go if you have awesome seats.

Otherwise, it's like maybe once a year, and then you bake in the stadium, and then down never to go again. I think an awesome seat is at home. I mean, I would much rather watch four games at once, but Chargers-Dolphins, I'm guessing, what, 5,000, 5, 6, 7,000 Dolphin fans there If you're a Dolphins fan and you live in LA you're going to that It's like your chance to see the Dolphins

Are there 7,000 fans there? Tony's a Dolphin fan Unceremoniously booted from our league I imagine he's We never talked about that I recapped it on Wednesday a little bit So I had to play If you didn't hear it.

Only four people hadn't been voted out in my fantasy league. I was one of the four. And the people that won last year, Tall John and the traitor, Jamie Agin. Just a complete traitor. I'll never forgive him. Makes me play a Connect Forward game to stay in the league. Right.

Going into that game, who was favored? Well, I bought into your whole i don't even know how many chips do we get i don't get it that was good though that was smart right psychological oh my god anyone who has kids has played connect four i mean i'm like i don't know what do we do is it four days so i try to set kyle out so i made uh uh kyle uh uh mistakenly i made him a minus 175 favorite, and he's been high 24 hours a day for the last eight years. So I probably should have rethought that.

That's eight? Yeah, maybe a little more. Yeah, so I won pretty early. He won like six moves. It was weird. There weren't a lot of chips in the thing. He just completely misses the three I had across. Yeah.

You're still angrier about it than the guy who got voted out. Here's what makes me angry. We have this stupid rule that the champ gets to vote out somebody every year. That's great. We had somebody that didn't show up for the draft. But you can't kick him out because he was kicked out last year. What do you mean? Coal Horse was kicked out last year, so that guy someone. Cole Horse was kicked out last year. So that guy comes back automatically.

Oh, is that the rule? Yeah, that's the rule. I didn't realize it's in the rule book. What's the matter with you? Well, he sends a proxy. I mean, I would have kicked out the proxy. Well, he was in Greece. Make my own rule.

I know. But meanwhile, so now there's only three people left that have been kicked out. Right. Craig Powell, who is at Brian Barton. They were there together this year. He has no enemies. No, Craig Powell has no enemies. He's the guy in Survivor who makes the final three,

never won a challenge. It's my goal to get people to turn on Powell this year. The problem is it's not funny enough. It's funny if you're gone. It's funny if Tony's gone. It's funny if Jon Hamm goes. It's obviously funny if I go because I came up with this dumb wrinkle.

But yeah, if you're kind of steady, you know know john ham is doing a lot of trash talking this week oh my god it was very surprised he sent a lot of pats jokes emails i had forgotten he was a chiefs fan a lot of pats jokes yeah i think he had forgotten he was a chiefs fan uh sunday night falcons Packers Yeah In Atlanta In the new Mercedes Benz dome Or whatever the hell they're calling it This is nice

Falcons I have by minus two and a half Over the Packers You got it exactly I pulled the trigger on three I thought they were good enough To give three at home I think the It's two and a half

Packers coming off that nice Seattle win Yeah Is this an NFC Championship preview, or was Green Bay, it was yesterday's game, NFC Championship. Was Dallas in the mix? I think that Falcons-Bears game was kind of illuminating with the Falcons. Oh, really? Yeah.

Come on. They should have lost to the Bears. That's a tough road game, I think, coming out of the gate. It's week one. Take care of business in week one. I'm not a believer in the Falcons. Perennially, you want to take them in these night games.

It's nice to take. I have no idea what the sound's going to be like in that dome. Do you think Arthur Blank, does he go to the sidelines or does he just never do that again? No, no. He's done with that. I think he's done. I've watched the Super Bowl 51 now 11 times and might have to watch another 20 if the season keeps going in the direction

that it's going in. The best part is when Arthur Blank comes down with his girlfriend. It's sad, isn't it? No, it's not sad at all. I love it every time. It makes me so happy. And then it's like, what do you do when the game turns like that and you're down on the – like, does he pretend to go to the bathroom

and just run? I think so. Tate, what would you do if you were Arthur Blank? You're a billionaire. You have a cool 1920s mustache. You're bringing your girl down so you can watch your team win the Super Bowl. Things flip. You've completely underestimated the greatest quarterback of all time.

Do you just stay in the sideline with that dumb look on your face what do you do just twirl your mustache and count your money later that i think maybe he's he's built the stadium with that in mind and there's some trap door yeah he could get a home depot inside exactly he can get out of it no what he should do is that that medical tent they built they should put the trap door in that it's like oh i'm gonna go in the medical tent to see how that guy and then he he's just gone. Or an ejector button through the roof. That would look cool. So you like the Falcons in this game, it sounds like. I don't know.

I don't know. It's too early. All right. Monday night. Matt Stafford. Yeah. At Giant Stadium. I predicted that he's getting three points, him and his Lions,

in Giant Stadium. Giants minus three I thought you meant scoring total Yeah, no, I said three and a half It's up to five And I guess they assume that Beckham's playing Do the Giants have a home field advantage? Yeah, I think so Okay

Yeah, I think so Because I've seen a lot of stinkers in that stadium That make you go It's almost like a home field disadvantage If Eli throws a pick in the first quarter Okay. Yeah. Because I've seen a lot of stinkers in that stadium that make you go. It's almost like a home field disadvantage if Eli throws a pick in the first quarter. Yeah, then they're all over. The crowd gets bummed out, and there's just like a weird vibe in there. It's one of those. But I've seen them lose games when they retire.

Sims, all these guys, Bavaro. You think it would inflate them, but there's nothing there. Have they run out of Giants? Is it like Phil McConkie? Oh, maybe. Yeah. I mean, is Tiki Barber the best position player before Beckham? I don't know.

I bought a ton of tickets from Craig Carton for this game, so I'm going to still got to unload something. That's a baby client. Be careful. Not anymore. Not anymore, no. A lot of I told you so's. Probably shouldn't get into it. no i told me what do i

know we never did that speaking of baby we have emmys yeah she would do make-believe casino oh i mean you could really bet them we can actually bet yeah yeah i wanted to go over some of these all right let's go it's not the make-believe so we're not even going to the captain born gets make-believe casino for this one? I don't know. It's kind of docked. They're regassing. Okay.

Best drama. Actually, I'll just call them out and you tell me who's favorite. Okay. House of Cards, better call Saul. Westerworld, The Crown, Handmaid's Tale, This Is Us, Stranger Things. Stranger Things is going to win. Really? Yeah.

Stranger Things plus 130, Handmaid's Tale plus 175. I say Handmaid's Tale. I think it runs away with that. Handmaid's Tale, that's like the cute kind of trying to... Cute? No, it's like the cute choice that tries to win over the critics because look how smart I am. I'd vote it for... But that tries to win over the critics because look how smart I am. I'd voted for...

But that shouldn't win. It won. So they have the creative... Not a comedy, Handmaid's Tale. No, it's not that funny. It really isn't that funny. I went into it thinking it was going to be funnier than it was. Stranger Things.

Not a funny show. A couple of belly laughs in the middle, but yeah. This Is Us is a sleeper i think for that category because it's so hard to make a network drama that reaches a ton of people and like my wife does your wife watch that show no no your wife doesn't watch that show my wife loves it and uh is your wife a crier yeah Yeah, but not with TV. Only with things I say to her. My wife's a crier. She is.

And I think they had 18 episodes in the first season. I think she cried during 16 of them. Did she? Yeah. But it was only because she couldn't find her phone. Of course, she had the TrackR pixel attached to her tears. Well, Sterling K. Brown, this is for,

we can go through, he's a best actor, minus 200, Odenkirk, plus 225, the Western World guy, Anthony Hopkins, five to one,

Matthew Reese, 850, and then it gets, another This Is Us. So Sterling K. Brown, plus people like him because he was in the OJ thing last year. That's probably a runner. That's probably good odds for him, right?

Kind of want to parlay him with somebody. Let's take that. Okay. What team? Can we parlay him with a team? Patriots. What about the Ravens? Ravens and Browns.

Ravens and Sterling K. Brown. No, we didn't want the Browns. We wanted the Ravens. We wanted Sterling K. Brown. Oh, man. Okay. Let's see. Best actress drama.

Elizabeth Moss runs away with it. Let's see. Best actress drama. Elizabeth Moss runs away with it. Minus 600. Who else? Claire Foy for The Crown, plus 225. Robin Wright, 20 to 1. No. Evan Rachel, 25 to 1.

Viola Davis, 30. Keri Russell, 40. People do like Viola Davis, though. That's way down there, though. No, no, no. Okay. What's comedy actress? Do you have that one? Well, comedy is Veep, minus 500. Atlanta, three. Okay. What's comedy actress? Do you have that one? Well, comedy is Veep minus 500.

Atlanta, three. Could Atlanta win that? Every year they do something wacky. Yeah. I think Atlanta three to one is in play at least. Let's keep that in mind. Best actor comedy. Somebody the best show I watched last year.

Donna Glover, Atlanta minus 300 over Jeffrey Tambor plus 300. And he's won a few times. And the fact that that's a comedy is ridiculous. It's funny. I wouldn't say Donald Glover. I think the show is spectacular. I wouldn't say he's like De Niro in Taxi Driver. The way he plays it is really smart and funny.

Zach Galifianakis has my vote, 30 to 1. He should win two, right? I mean, he's playing two characters in baskets. And then the last one. What's Issa Rae? Is she nominated? Insecure? For comedy?

She didn't get nominated for comedy? No. Who are the comedy? Claire Foy, Crown, Robin Wright, Evan Rachel Moore. No, no, for comedy. What did you say? Oh, best comedy. Best comedy actress. atlanta yeah that's what i had best actress so the one with julie louis this is like a who's on first routine this is what i'm getting to julie louis dreyfus is

minus a thousand tracy ellis ross blackish plus 450 she's good. Lily Tomlin, 12 to 1. No. Ellie Kemper, 15. No. Allison Janney, 20. Jane Fonda, 40. Pamela Adlon. Adlon, right? Yeah, that's Louie's girlfriend. Louie got it right.

No, he's a Ray in that category. So what are the runaways? That's my favorite show. Veep, Julie Louis-Dreyfus, and Elizabeth Moss. Those are the biggest favorites. Veep's hitting that danger point where it's won so many times, people get bored. You don't watch Insecure in your house?

No. Tate, you watch Insecure? Yeah, I've seen the first season. You didn't see the second season? Not yet, no. Second season's great. I only have two people on the Ringer staff to talk to about it. Really?

Hannah and Allison. That's it. Well, then it's going to remain a two. I've got to find more people. Tate's too busy. He's got his own podcast. He's editing ours. Tate's got like seven podcasts.

It's crazy. So that's what we're doing? Sterling K. Brown? That's our big recommendation. Sterling K. Brown's on a teaser. Jesus. Anything else? Anything to plug?

Yeah, against all odds, we're going to go over college stuff, pro football, Triple G, Canelo. How did this fight fall by the wayside? This is crazy. This is a huge fight. This should be much better than Mayweather and McGregor. It's going against the Emmy weekend and the whole thing. I think they had issues with trying to figure it out.

But it seems like I just like that first week in November is my favorite fight weekend. First week in November, what happens? It starts. No, it's just like that first week in November is my favorite fight weekend. First week in November, what happens? After NBA starts. No, it's just like right around then. Oh, there's so much going on that Halloween. That is when NBA starts, yeah. No, NBA's starting this year on October 15th, but.

This is after the World Series, is that it? It feels, yeah. This September 16th feels soon for a giant fight. I know, but it's just because we just got over that. Who do we like? What are the odds? I think Alvarez is minus 170. I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry. Triple G, minus 170. I thought three years ago that Alvarez had no chance against him. Down to minus 150. Oh, boy. Yeah. Minus 150? It's just because Triple G looked old in that last fight.

This is going to be, they're going to get more than one fight out of this, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. All right. So be careful they're going to get more than one fight out of this, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. All right. So be careful. Jimmy Kimmel Live. What a week. First of all, tonight we have Larry David and Dave Salmoni.

We have Sloane Stephens and Sean Spicer later in the week, too. Sloane Stephens. What day is she in? They're not dating, though. She's my favorite athlete. She's Wednesday or Thursday. I'll have to look it up. I got so into that US Open run.

Yeah. I like the way she handles herself. She seemed so genuine. Yeah, she didn't want to hug that girl. She stuck in there. No, she loved that girl, though. But she seemed so genuine. Even the interviews she would give after matches.

We're so used to tennis robots. Serena has a personality, but she just chooses when to dole it out. But the Sharapova type of personality. And I don't know. I really liked Sloane Stephens. You know who she dates? Josie Altidore. She does?

Yeah. Really? Striker on the U.S. men's national team. Oh, that's why you like her. That's what's going on. I love when athletes date. I'm always, I always try to figure out

what sport their kid would play. No more on me. It was like that. I love when Agassi and Steffi Graf dated. Their kid is now like a star baseball player. Already got recruited for one of the best colleges. He's like a junior. Josie and Sloane Stevens.

I mean, you take her hand eye and then his physicality, that could be one of the great ones. Who's the cornerback for Grimes and his girl? She's an MMA fighter, right? The Steffi Graf Agassi kid, though. Yeah, that's awesome. If that kid becomes like a 15-year MLB career, he just has like crazy hand speed.

Right, right. I love an athlete's day. It's my favorite. We should also mention every Friday morning we're putting up your pick. Yes, my best pick. On the ringer. On our YouTube channel, Facebook, all that stuff.

It always makes me nervous when you take a high favorite. All right, I know. No, no. Listen, you've done great the last few years. But yeah, you may want to do a second. I got the feel of a screw job early. You got out of your system. You know when you get that feeling like, oh, yeah, okay.

Steelers are not interested in scoring after third quarter. Thanks also to DirecTV. Don't forget NFLSundayTicket.tv promo code Bill Simmons. You get 15% off. Oh, I wanted to mention

Shack House. Oh. The podcast presented by Callaway with Joe House and Jeff Shackelford. They're not doing it this week. There's no golf, right? Callaway is epic driver. Not only the number one selling driver in the U.S., it will be the number one driver in play at the President's Cup.

If you're not playing an epic driver, bring your gamer to a local retailer. Test them head- head visit callawaygolf.com for more details on how epic delivers more half speed joe house big golfer big in the golf community these days you got into golf this year which shocked me he got me into gambling you got into gambling on golf well he picked like four out of five major winners are playing golf no would you be good at golf i feel like i'll start hating it no no no i can't figure out your athletic thing like you're an unbelievable softball player thank you yes yeah you but i would think off like hand-eye coordination you'd be i'm too tight i'm too stiff i think you know from the wrestling you know softball just you know very

everything's compact you know wrestling's a big concussion sport yeah it is did you ever get in concussion wrestling no I got like emphatago a lot

and like weird weird shit like the weird staff infections when you rub up against the mat and everything but no not

not concussion my son is is determined to become the next Wes Welker we have to get him in there he's fine no he's the flag football noker. We have to get him in there.

He's fine. Wes Welker. No, he's the flag football. No, not that. No, he's all in a flag football right now because he's got his first flag football season. Wins his game. He's super fast. Yeah. And we've been working on catches and stuff.

It's great. I mean, hopefully he'll have his first concussion in about a year. No, not flag football. He'll be fine. No, flag, it'll be fine, right? It'll be good. Yeah, flag's easy. But it's fun enough. Cuz, good job by. Now flag, it'll be fine, right? Yeah. Flag's easy. Yeah.

But it's fun enough. Cuz, good job by you. Good job by you, Billy. Yes, we can On the wayside On the first sun never on Say it I don't have to ever