The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Week 4 With Cousin Sal (Ep. 264)

Episode Date: September 25, 2017

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the NFL facing off against Trump (6:00), Big Ben's struggles (13:00), Tom Brady's mastery in the two-minute drill (19:00), Deshaun Watson's statement game (26:00), Bears-Packers (29:30), Saints-Dolphins in London (34:00), 49ers-Cardinals (39:00), Steelers-Ravens (43:00), updated odds on the first coach fired (49:00), Cam Newton's lack of explosiveness (55:00), Rams-Cowboys (1:01:00), and another riveting edition of "Parent Corner" (1:07:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Use promo code Simmons10 at Sonos.com to receive this exclusive offer. We're also brought to you by Against All Odds with Cousin Sal. How'd you guys do on that podcast this week? We did all right. I think Degenerate Trifecta went two and one. Nice. Better than me. Except I bought the wrong one as far as Shark Tank.

Oh, Shark Tank? Which one did you buy? I bought the losing one. Tate's UNC Tar Heels cost Brother Brian a six-team parlay. Five out of six otherwise. He shouldn't have done that. I should have stood up, but I don't want Mason Beal to come after me again. Well, there you go. Also, the rewatchables.

We had a new one last week, Speed. People are saying it was the best one. Yeah, I like it. People liked it. I mean, it was probably the dumbest movie we've done, but we have Titanic coming up this week, which I was not involved with. And then the week afterwards, Scream, which was the longest podcast we've done. It was like 83 minutes.

Really? Scream. Five people, a lot of thoughts on Scream. Anyway, the Rewatchables, people like it. If you want to send us emails about the Rewatchables or Cousin Sal's pod or anything we're doing, email us at themailbagattheringer.com. Coming up, we're going to talk about an unforgettable week three. But first, Pearl Jam. All right. The Cousin's in the house, Cousin Sal.

Bizarre weekend. Yeah. We've learned that when the President of the United States declares war on the NFL, people mostly rally around the NFL. I say mostly. The great uniter. There were boos at the Patriots game, which I was bummed out about. A lot of boos.

Boos before and then after. And I thought they were booing Trump, but then it seemed like a lot of it was geared toward the players that didn't stand. Trump did it, man. Most presidents unite and he's managed to divide.

And it's even divided football stadiums and crowds and just a weird vibe. And I think it affected some of the games. I think the Seahawks game definitely got affected. I think the Steelers were affected. These guys are having four-hour meetings before games. Right. And they're going out there trying to win on the road. Bizarre week.

I don't know if I liked it, I didn't like it, or I'm always going to remember it and I never know how to feel about it. What do you think? No, we don't like it. I mean, we want to talk parlays and fantasy and none of this other nonsense, right? Don't we want to get back to that? But I will say, it's like, people who are tuning into football saw a great week of football. They're like, eight

one-touchdown games, a few of them coming down to the last play. It was like, it was an amazing week. Once you got rid of that Jaguars-Ravens game, we got that bad taste out of our mouths. You probably thought, I thought I was like dreaming when I woke up and it was like 37-0. I'm like, no, I'm still asleep.

This is stupid. This is dumb. Blake Bortles going for 5-2-Ds. Yeah, exactly. But I don't know. Yeah, it's like, I hate that we have to weigh in on this stuff, but we do. Well, we have to this week.

To me, it brought out a lot of the stuff I like about sports. I love that the NBA players all rallied on Saturday and just people speaking their mind and defending other athletes. It was funny. I think the phrase, son of a bitch, really sent people over the edge. Amazing. They were like, what the hell? Say that to my face.

It turned into that. And for Trump, not to get too political but he just seems to i don't know whether he's as smart as a fox or if he just stumbles into this stuff but anytime he needs a diversion he seems to figure out whatever the perfect diversion is and this one the health care thing falls through again and then the next day he attacks football which is the new American pastime, basically. Right. And starts this three-day circus about, should he have said that? And now he's doubling down, tripling down on Stanford the flag. And some people agree with him.

A lot of people agree with him. Yeah. Villanueva. I mean, you can't say that no one agrees with him. The president's crazy. The president might be crazy, but it has split the audience. It's united the league, I think. I think the players and the owners have never been closer than they are today.

Are we sure it's united the league, though? Because I do feel like I heard Drew Brees talk after the game, and he's like, it's the flag, man. You stand up for it. That's what you do. So in the locker room, it's got to be weird. He's pretty diplomatic about it. I know.

It does have to be weird. But the owners, even those who supported Trump, I think they were like 25 on record, said it was, you know, most of them were, he shouldn't have said that. Some of them called him a creep. Like, they went out there. But I just think, look, I would stand. I think there's other ways to protest. But I think these are great Americans, too, these players.

I don't think they hate the country. No. You know? to protest but i think these are great americans too these players i don't think they hate the country yeah you know they they look they take people's shitty jobs and they make them forget about it for uh three hours and that's that you can't put a value on that that's tremendous also they pay tens of millions of dollars in taxes all right so they're great americans like hundreds and hundreds between them so all i would say is a football fan, if you like football, don't not watch because Donald Trump, a guy who was condoning flag burning seven years ago, tells you not to watch. Yeah. I just don't think that makes sense.

The biggest misnomer is just that they're protesting the flag. That's not what they're doing. Right. Initially, it was, I mean, Kaepernick obviously started it, but they're protesting some racial inequality and police brutality and all these different factors that went into what Kaepernick did.

And then it kind of snowballed a little bit. But what happened this weekend was basically, that was for free speech, I felt like. Sure. Oh, yeah. It's like the president's telling, you know, trying to come down on people, calling them son of bitches. Right. You should be fired.

At that point, it becomes way more personal. Yeah, before this week, it was only like six or seven or eight players who were kneeling and everything. It was starting to die down. Yeah, it was dying down a little, of course. And then he says his thing. And now, yes, these players feel they can't back down to Trump. That's what that was about.

I mean, you're going to triple down at that point. But to me, they're not protesting the flag or the anthem. I agree. They're one chance to make a statement on something. Now listen, all this said, if Donald Trump wants to teach Roger Goodell a lesson and legalizes gambling, something we know Roger doesn't want to do,

I am all in. I will order more red hats than they can manufacture if that if that takes place in the next few weeks i it was good now secretly excited about this whole week you think he was well because all right let's say trump never does this the whole weekend is about aaron hernandez cte right yeah and that's no but now it's turned into this galvanizing thing for the league it's actually a good thing unless you're Jerry Jones, who and the seven, how many owners gave to Trump? All those guys are like, hey. I mean, my dude, Bob Kraft, I didn't even know this.

Maybe I blocked it out of my mind, but he gave Trump a Super Bowl ring? Yeah. Does he need to give that back now? This be the first time? It's rough. It's rough to be a patsy. How did you block that out?

That was a huge thing. I think I did block it out. I think I blocked it out. Like when there's some sort of trauma, you just block it out of your mind. Man, it is interesting though. Some of these people, this was the tipping point. You know, like Brady who said nothing.

Yeah, right. He's literally said nothing. And now it's like, oh, wow. He's a college football player, son of bitches. Now I got to get involved. It's like, oh, wow, he's called a football player son of a bitch. Now I've got to get involved. It's like, you probably should have gotten involved sooner. There was some human dignity stuff that had gone on way before he said anything about football players. Rex Ryan, I tweeted this yesterday.

The Rex Ryan thing was hilarious to me. Good call by you. Well, come on, Rex Ryan. Oh, I feel betrayed. I introduced this guy at a rally. It's like, come on, Rex Ryan. Just stop I feel betrayed. I introduced this guy at a rally. It's like, come on, Rex Ryan. Just stop. And then ESPN's promoting it.

Like, this is a great thing. I mean. Yeah, there's hypocrisy everywhere you look. There he is. But that's why I say, just if you like football, watch football. It's the NFL's fault. They should have let him buy the bills.

He never would have run for president. I know, you're right. You're right. He would have been probably the worst owner we've ever had in any professional sport. Yeah. Other than maybe James Dolan. I don't know. So 250 players protested.

Fans booed. It seemed like at every location there was at least some booing. And I think today and tomorrow, we're taping this. It's 930 on Monday morning. I think today and tomorrow some stuff's going to come out that it was a little more divisive in the lack of. I do. Because I think some people feel really strongly about this.

And that's why we haven't seen many people kneeling during the anthem in the first place. Right. I don't know. I'll be interested to see how these next two days play out. And I'll be interested to see what else Trump does. It's tough, man. Trump's double, triple, quadrupling down now. Oh, he's not going to back down for sure.

Yeah. But a guy like Brady, who probably weighed is like, all right, I'll go to the White House every year or not go versus I'm in a locker room with 52 angry men. You know, like I got to, I'm going to back my boys here. Right. You have to do it. Trump's like, you know, those neo-Nazis in Charlottesville, there's some good people on both sides.

Yeah, right. And then the NFL thing, ah, the son of a bitches. Yeah, yeah, who he pardons. But none of it makes sense. None of it makes sense. I don't feel like anybody can stay in the middle anymore. No. This is a person now who's trying to divide the country

and pit people against each other. And that's what's happening. And if, whether you're a Republican or a Democrat, if you don't see that, I don't know what to tell you. What if he's trying to bring

the XFL back? Is this the way to start it? I think it's on the way. Tate, why are you kneeling right now? Get up. Get the hell off. What's the matter with this guy? Jerry Jones,

is he going to say anything? Cowboys playing tonight. I don't know what he's waiting for. I think he will say something before this podcast even hits. I regret giving Trump $5 million. What does he care? It takes all the focus off of Zeke. A lot of people benefited from this.

Like you said, yeah, it could have been the CTE Hernandez story. I think Zeke Elliott's not out of the woods yet. This is now the dominant story forever and ever for the rest of the year. The CTEs were story. I think Zeke Elliott's not out of the woods yet. This is now the dominant story forever and ever. I think referees were really bad this week. I think they got together and were like, hey, we can be as bad as we normally are. No one's going to notice. There were some awful calls.

Oh, boy. I mean, the worst call was Thursday night, that weird pass interference. But there were some other beauties. Yeah. Richard Sherman should have been thrown out of that Tennessee game, and then they decided it was all offsetting penalties and his second

unsportsmanlike whatever didn't count which I thought was strange it was a bizarre game I don't want to overreact to week one or week three and yet I feel like I'm about to overreact to week three I'm not sure Ben Roethlisberger

is a top notch Quarterback anymore From what I've seen these first three weeks The guys were open The throws The throws weren't there And they weren't there for the entire game And this is exactly how

He played the other two weeks And I'm starting to waver on them As a contender I think offenses can get together. Like the Raiders yesterday, throw that game out. I'm not willing to turn on the Raiders. They had a bad game. The Washington team had a good play and all that stuff.

But I don't like what I'm seeing from the Steelers. I think that AFC North, that's a bad division. That might be the stinker division this year. That's the bad one. The Jaguars and the Texans are probably better than both of those teams. Jaguars might win that division. We could talk about that afterwards. Jaguars have a good defense.

Man, maybe the best. I don't know. How much faith do we put in every one single game? But yeah, you're right. The Steelers can't get the ball moving. The Ravens were disgraceful. The Bengals are going nowhere fast. And the Browns can't get out of their own way as usual.

I think the Ravens, the Jaguars, and there's probably four or five other teams like this. As long as they're hanging around and they have the lead or it's close, they're fine. But when they're down 10, the game's over. Can't do it. So the Jags, that was like your perfect game. They get 10-0 lead. Their defense ratchets it up. I actually forgot it was on.

And then I looked for it. Did you do the thing yesterday where you looked for it for 10 minutes? I did, yeah. And then it's like, oh, it's on Yahoo. And Yahoo doesn't even have an app on smart TV. Right, exactly. Come on, Yahoo. What did Marissa Mayer do for six years? You don't have an app? Yeah. Everybody has an app. I think the ringer and Yahoo are the only two

without an app at this point. Maybe you guys get together and figure it out. Couldn't find it. It's like, I gotta watch it on my iPad. Great. I'm doing fantasy moves, all this stuff. And then when they're down three touchdowns like why am i even gonna try to find it now right well this game's over the the london game which we're gonna get to this week's actually pretty good um some quick stuff to talk about before we get to the games only two favorites covered in week three so far. Isn't that weird? Now, you could technically say, I think Minnesota was favored by a point right at kickoff, or it was even or something. It was uneven.

But I still count them as an underdog. They were an underdog for seven days. Home dogs. We talked about this last week, Sal. Not sounding like Phil Simms, but we talked about it. There were 10 home dogs last week. That was a red flag. We should have, between that and all the protests, we never should have gambled.

We hated the week, and then we loved the week. And there's protests to throw it in more fucks. I'm like, I set you three bets on Sunday morning. I'm like, what do you think of these? I was like, the Steelers are a lock just to win the game. And then one of the favorites that won, the road favorites, was the Falcons. And they easily could have won. They were an inch away from losing that game.

I never had a doubt, so. Home dogs were seven and two. Uh-huh. Home dogs. Straight up. Seven and two. Yeah. Seven and two.

It's pretty good. They're making these a lot of parity. You know what? I think that's why they play the games, Bill. I've heard that before. But yeah, all the lines are like between pick them and three. I've been giving them since 1990. I don't ever remember a year where the home dogs weren't at least like, I don't know,

four games over 500. Every year. This week, I think I took more favorites than underdogs. Right. Right. I know. I feel like I'm more on top. You figure the better teams are going to win at this point.

I'd like to add to our never-ending gambling manifesto, don't bet heavily during a crazy political NFL weekend. Right. I think that's a fair thing to add to our thing. There's too much going on. You read like, I didn't even know the Seahawks had a four-hour meeting before that game. How does that help them in Tennessee? I didn't know either.

And then Tennessee runs a ball down their throats, the weather's hot. I don't know. We've had a lot to contend with as gamblers between this political stuff and the storms for the Florida team. Somehow the Florida teams were better their first week back than they were this week. There was a delayed effect

for Miami and Tampa Bay. They played so poorly this week. And now Miami goes on to London. Very weird stuff going on. My biggest misfire, and we always talk about how the first two weeks affect week three, and you have to figure out

what to overreact and underreact to. Washington is actually, it seems like they're good, and they just blew that Philly game in week one, and then they go and they beat the Rams. A game which I watched, I thought the Rams played pretty well,. And then they go and they beat the Rams. A game which I watched. I thought the Rams played pretty well and they still lost. I do like the Rams.

And then the Rams do what they do in week three. And Washington goes back home, beat Oakland as an underdog. So that's one group that I just messed up on. But then you look at the Chargers and Miami goes into L.A., StubHub Center, whatever the hell it's called. They pull out the game, mostly because of the kicker, because the kicker screwed up. Yeah. I watched the whole game. Not that impressed with Miami, but thought Cutler was throwing the deep ball a little bit.

Yeah, good line. Then it's like, oh, the Jets minus six to throw them in a tease. And I finally decided not to. I picked up Cutler and Fantasy. And Miami's just bad. I had them in every eliminator pool. I was like, I'm going against the Jets every single game. Yeah.

Disgusting. They didn't show up at all. That was an ass kicking. The Jets kind of dominated them. They did. So I guess Miami's bad. And then you look at the power pull of just who's bad. And all of a sudden, it's like nine or ten teams now.

Well, what about who's good? Why don't we do that? Who's the best? I know you're not happy with your Patriots defense. Very lucky to win that game. I don't know what happened to the Pats. Well, let's talk about that in one second. I want to talk about Peloton.

No, you don't. I do. I really do. I want to talk about Peloton. No, you don't. I do. I really do. I want to talk about Peloton. Sal, do you want the convenience of a group cycling class only right in your own living room? Oh, I do. That sounds good, right? Your wife would like that.

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Get 20% off accessories with your Peloton bike purchase. You can even listen to this podcast while working your butt off on a cutting edge indoor bike. Go to onepeloton.com Use the code Bill Simmons. Get started now. Alright, the Patriots.

Incredible Tom Brady. And it's gotten to the point even at age 40 we're like, oh, we're down five. He's got this. Two minutes left to go. One time out. Alright, he's going to the point even at age 40 where we're like, oh, we're down five. He's got this. Two minutes left to go. One time out. He's going to come through. Third and 18? We'll get this. I checked the line when they started up. They had 80 yards to go, right?

Yeah, it was like 79 yards. Plus 135. Plus 135. They had to score a touchdown. Could even be a field goal. Well, who's the next best at that? Aaron Rodgers. Probably still not only two to one odd. Like, plus 135 is spectacular to have to go 80 yards. That's very low.

And the Texans, people were like, oh, the Texans dropped an interception. Yeah, they dropped the interception when Cooks got completely interfered on. They didn't call it. He was torn around. Cooks was going up for it. He just gets knocked over. The fumble. He got lucky with the fumble at midfield.

Yes, that one got lucky. Yeah. But, you know, the Houston, this is, we were talking about whether to throw them in a parlay or not. I was worried about Houston because I think Houston's D has a lot of confidence against the Pats for some reason. Hot weather. The Pats, because they didn't have enough receivers,

they couldn't do the thing where they spread the field with the five receivers and just kind of go no huddle and try to wear a tag. They just don't have enough receivers to do it. So the game played into Houston's hands in a really nice way, and Watson was fantastic. He made one dumb throw. Other than that, we couldn't tackle him.

We had him sacked like five times. He's moving around. He's super calm. Who do you have for Dorowitz across the field? Oh, my God. Backpedaling. He had some amazing throws. I love that guy. And what were they down?

They were down, you know, just being down. They're down to a legit eight. Yeah. Third quarter. Late in the third, right? Yeah. But again, like this is the thing. Fourth and two.

220 left. Was that with 224 left? You're at the 19-yard line. what do you want the texans to do you want them to kick a field was less than fourth and two wasn't it wasn't like it was third one and they lost a yard i think ah so there's fourth and two well you want them to kick you want them to kick a field goal i felt like if they went for it there's a chance we could have stopped them and then we just need to go 35 yards. I don't even know what I wanted. I don't know. I felt like we were going to lose

the game when they got that last first down with three minutes left. I was like, oh man, we're not even going to get the ball back. I just think a guy like O'Brien is afraid. It's like a poker hand. I'm not against that. It's like you're checking on the flop. You're afraid here because you're not going here. I think you have to try to put him away.

Well, I'm glad he didn't. Two and one feels like the right record for this Pats team because I actually think I know how the Chiefs game turned out, but I feel like if Gronk caught that touchdown, we win that game by 20 points. The first one, yeah. All the short yardage stuff they left on the field that game, they really shot themselves in the foot.

This game was probably a game they should have lost. They really – I just thought Houston played better than them. And it's weird to say because Brady had five touchdowns, but – These are their defense. Some fumble breaks went their way. The one terrible Watson throw was the one mistake he made, but they had guys open. I don't know what's going on with the Pats and short yardage this year.

My dad is on the LeGarrette blunt. We never should have gotten rid of him. He's like, this they had guys open. I don't know what's going on with the Pats and short yardage this year. My dad is on the LeGarrette Blunt. We never should have gotten rid of him. He's like, this guy Gillis Lee. First tackle goes down every time. This big bruising runner just goes right down. Burkhead didn't play, right? Burkhead didn't play. I'm telling you, that's big. You need

a guy like that in there. The weirdest thing is that they didn't play James White a lot, which I didn't understand. I thought it would seem like a game where he was going to have like 13 catches. It's September. Who the hell knows? Brady looks fine. Cooks is the fastest guy they've probably ever had. That crossing

pattern he had when he just was gaining steam looked like flag football. And Hogan, if you look at that replay of the touchdown, he has exactly half the end zone to himself. From the goal line to the back of the end zone. No one is in his plane. It's phenomenal these routes these guys are running.

Now they're getting open. But I think your team is in as good a shape as a team who's totally decimated on one side of the ball could possibly be. Yeah, there would be some trade. So I looked at Philly, right? They just lost Sproles. Philly's got the worst running backs in the league now. And that seems like a Deion Lewis destination,

and maybe they get somebody back for the front seveners. Deion Lewis seems to be the expendable guy in this team. He'll be the one? Yeah, because he's good. I don't know why another team wouldn't trade for him. But I look at the AFC, I'm not really afraid of anybody. I think the Chiefs are definitely good. Denver took a big step back last week,

even though that was a little bit of a fluky loss to Buffalo. Yeah. Some things went right for them. And then the Raiders receivers, I don't know. That was my one takeaway from yesterday's game is I'm not sure how explosive that Raiders team is. You look at a guy like Crabtree and there's no way he should have seven yards receiving or

whatever he had any game. A guy that size and the routes he runs and everything. Are you worried about Washington? I think all these teams are a little weird. I don't think the Eagles are good, but they'll win. I think the Redskins are kind of the same way. But yeah, the Giants are out of it.

So it's nice a quarter of the way through the season. It's nice to get rid of the Giants. To get rid of one team. So we'll take it one by one, I think. The Giants had a good, I think the Giants fans, they knew this team wasn't a playoff team. At that point, all that was at stake was just Eli not being in complete disgrace. Right.

And he was able to rally back with a couple TDs. I think they had 24 points in the fourth quarter right they did that's it that you should be worried if you're the eagles with that but um my son really enjoyed odell pretending to be an animal and peeing on a fire hydrant so i know he got penalized but the his nine and a half year old demo is as strong as it ever was good for your son and the new york post for the headlines What bets did you lose on yesterday? Steelers? You name it. Yeah, Steelers. Did you pick a bet? I had the Dolphins everywhere. Oh, God.

For the ringer, I had a win with Tennessee. And my other... I'm telling you, this is a screwjob. I had under 40 in Denver Buffalo, which is 23-16. And that's a big call. That stupid thing where Lamar Miller pretends to... Oh, the 26-16? Yeah, it was 23-16 and that's a big call like that stupid thing where Lamar Miller

pretends to... Oh, the 26-16? Yeah, it was 23-16 with seven minutes left. Ty Taylor gets sacked. They're about to punt. Denver's not going to go for a field goal. They're going to drive the whole field and if they don't make it, they don't make it. Miller goes to

pick him up and then pulls his hand back. Something my nine-year-old does to my 3-year-old all day, and we don't, as parents, flinch. And they throw a flag for that. Like, what's the big deal about that? Why can't they let that go? Buffalo kicks a field goal, Denver can't recoup, and that's it. I don't understand anything anymore.

Enough with the referees. Enough with the pussification of the league. This is really stupid. They're going to follow up. What if he makes dinner plans with Ty Taylor and then backs out on that? Is that going to be taunting too? They were losing Denver. Why is that a call against Denver?

Stupid. Tate's shaking his head. He agrees. Are you ready to do our Captain of the Week? Let's do it. All right. The captain will not rest until he has brought his adventurous spirit and delicious rum to every corner of America.

For Addy, the spice of life. That's why Captain Morgan has spiced up life quite a bit. They've developed a collection of rum, each with its own distinct flavor and personality. Original spice, coconut, pineapple, white, black, grapefruit, whatever you want. The captain loves anyone who learns to mix like a captain. Every week, Sal and I pick a captain for the week. Do you want to go first? I'll go first. Sure. Well, first of all, I mean, it could be Tony Romo every week, Sal and I pick a captain for the week. Do you want to go first? I'll go first, sure.

Well, first of all, I mean, it could be Tony Romo every week. I'm not going to name him captain, but he is a joy to listen to. People very rarely win the internet anymore. Yeah. And he's won the internet. He really does. There's no anti-Tony Romo anyone out there. People are just like, I love this.

He has such fire in him. You feel like he's almost going to head down to the field. And like, if, if, you know, Andy Dalton wanted to hand over his Jersey that no one would have had a problem with it.

It's going to be so sad when he leaves in week nine to go be a QB for somebody. I mean, it's going to be tragic. I have a different point of view, but, but my captain, Tony Romo,

notwithstanding his shotgun, the owner of the Jaguars. This guy spends money every year on this team. He won't let them die. They finally have a great defense. He's locking arms with the players. It was the first game in the morning. It was great.

He was showing unity. That's the kind of owner everyone needs. The guy looks like a caricature artist in Venice Beach. But Shad Khan, he's my captain. Wow. He didn't even mention that. He looked like Ron Jeremy. I'm so disappointed.

If he got in some shape, I got a great email. I'm sorry. I I'll give you credit in Friday's mailbag, but, um, somebody said Blake Bortles three, no in London.

Now we should, he should be sir. Blake Bortles. Ooh, I think that's a good nickname for it, right? Yeah. It's the,

I like that more than the Blake Tinnick. Sir. Blake Bortles. Like sir. Anthony Hopkins, sir. Blake Bortles. Ooh, pretty good. I think that's a good nickname for him, right? Yeah. I like that more than the Blake Tate-ic. Sir Blake Bortles. Like Sir Anthony Hopkins, Sir Blake Bortles. My captain of the week is Deshaun Watson, who scared the living shit out of me in that Pats game. And the bigger point here, Lombardi and some others were all in on this guy being like, don't screw the combine, all this stuff.

This guy is a quarterback. He knows what he's doing. And you could see it yesterday. The Jets passed on him. The Bengals passed on him. All these teams passed on him. Well, the Browns technically did. That's why Lombardi loves it, too, because that was their pick.

Yeah. Look, I don't know why we have college football if we can't watch somebody who's that calm and all that stuff over and over again. But I will say, Houston, who has not had a QB basically since the Oilers moved and then the Texans came back, I think in 2000 or 2001, whatever, and it's just been a QB shit show for them. And they finally have a QB. Deshaun Watson is the captain. Houston fans now get to know what it's like to have a QB who can extend plays and roam around and get a key third down, all that stuff. Congratulations to the Houston fans. There you go.

All right. Week four. Usually week four is the walk week, as we call it. But I think week three. I was thinking about Berman last night. I was watching SVP's show. Shout out to SVP. I miss him. Sunday night. about Berman last night. I was watching SVP's show. Shout out to SVP. I miss him.

Sunday night. Miss Berman. Teach! Dramatic. Dramatic. Crazy. Crazy week in the NFL. He would have exploded last night.

The Bills beating Denver. Oh, so much. Can he have like a web show? Or can he just be on Instagram stories or anywhere? He's got to miss it. can you be in hawaii with some webcam filming them right yeah you don't have to do the homeowner click on that every week chris braman if you're listening just put yourself on the internet somewhere yeah we'll make you captain of the week maybe next week thursday night we have the chicago Bears at the Green Bay Packers.

Green Bay Packers. I don't want to say they're reeling, but I think all of us expect a little more from them this week. Definitely. You don't think they'd go down 21-7 to the lowly Bengals. Would you have guessed in a millionaire's that Aaron Rodgers 0-7 overtime stat? No. That was shocking.

Completely stunned by that. I thought they made that up. I'm like, someone's going to get fired because that stat's wrong. 0-7? Yeah. Well, he finally won one but I have I watched a lot of that Bears-Steelers game

one of the reasons I thought the Steelers were gonna win was because the Bears have no receivers at all right and it's like well

the one way they're gonna stay in the game is just ride these two running backs. They have really good running backs. Mm-hmm. Howard and Cohen. The Steelers will know that they're going to do that.

They'll just shut the... No, they didn't shut them down. Those guys are scary. Howard and Cohen are really good. Yeah. It almost didn't matter that the Bears didn't have running backs. I have the Packers by eight and a half, and I think this is a dangerous game. I have eight, and it's seven and a half.

Yeah. So I get that one. It is dangerous, and it's a Thursday game, which makes it even stupider. What happened in that, just that Marcus Cooper play, where he stopped at the one, he kneels down at the one-yard line, which is a weird place to kneel. I don't understand. It almost seemed like he didn't want to score.

It was like when you're playing a video game and you are trying to taunt the other team. It was bad. It was worse than Deshaun Jackson, I think. It was terrible. Completely stopped. But then how did they get a field goal out of it? I don't know. All I know is they reviewed it for 45 minutes. And so then the flags

are going. Tate, why did they get a field goal? The ball got punched out through the end zone. Chicago gets a play and then they go false start so they kick a field. I don't understand a lot of officiating that happened there. The Bears were weird.

Pittsburgh muffs a punt early on. They could never get back in it. That stupid play on the return. I still think Trubisky's in. Glennon did not have a good game, right? Didn't he have like, he had no touchdowns in 130 yards or something? He did not have a good game.

I don't know what they're waiting for. I think this is your week. I think they're going to still hold out. Yeah? It's too much money. It's 15. I don't think they want to pay a guy just to sit over there. And Trubisky, they know that he's fine to wait.

He doesn't seem like he's anxious to get out there. They never show him on camera. They never do the cutaway where it's like, Mitch Trubisky looks ready to go. He's pacing. Yeah, right, right, right. He looks very content. Does he? He's heartening.

He's like, I'm learning from Mike Glennon. Yeah, he's like, I don't want to get out there and get killed. Wow. All right, maybe this isn't the game. Cohen's great, though. Tariq Cohen. I don't think he's getting enough credit. Trade him?

How hard would it be to trade Glennon? I haven't looked. I mean. He's like 15 million a year, right? Yeah. He seems better than five starting quarterbacks. Yeah, I would say so. I don't know.

He's better than Andy Dalton. Yeah. Better than. Yeah. That would be a weird trade. So I have the Packers eight and a half. So you win that one. The only thing I'll say is Rodgers is now favored to win MVP.

Three to one. Brady four to one. Ryan plus 450. Stafford still five to one. I only thing I'll say is Rodgers is now favored to win MVP, 3-1. Brady, 4-1. Ryan, plus 450. Stafford, still 5-1. I don't really get that. He had 122 yards in that Monday night game. And Hunt, 15-1. What's Deshaun Watson?

What if they go like 13-3 and he's like the Dak Prescott of this season? But don't you feel like there are three decent teams in that division now? Like for all years for Houston to be good. Yeah, I'm not going to give Jacksonville that. I'm not anointing them yet. Let me really quickly look. Oh, you got excited about the Deshaun Watson. Well, Cody Hunt, if he's just going to have 60-yard runs every week,

he's probably going to win it if he rushes for 3,000 yards. 15-1. He was 20-1 last week. I don't even see Deshaun Watts. I see DeAndre Hopkins at 500-1. That's ridiculous. All right, we have a London game this week. Yeah.

It is the Saints playing the Miami Dolphins in London. Miami had the week off, even though they played a game against the Jets. It was technically a bye week for them because they didn't show up. The Saints had a dramatic win in Carolina. Right. That our own Tay Frazier went to. We're going to get to that in a second. I had the Saints favored by three against the Dolphins.

I nailed this. I said two and a half. It is two and a half. It actually was three. Went to two and a half, yeah. Any thoughts? I don't know what to make of this Miami team. I had high hopes for them.

Jay Cutler was really, truly awful in that game. How does that work? He was throwing off the back foot. He was doing all the Jay Cutler stuff. Jay and Jai played. They're in New Jersey, but half the fans are wearing Dolphins jerseys. It's 90 degrees. How did they get smoked that game?

I was so mad because I bet against Jay Cutler in week two and picked against him in my Friday column. And he was actually pretty good. And then he had the Jay Cutler game I was waiting for in the game that I wasn't expecting. This is a fun game. The Saints aren't horrible. Somebody's going to go 9-7 and make the playoffs in the NFC.

And the Saints had Minnesota week one, they lose. And it turns out Minnesota's good I mean Minnesota just beat Tampa with Case Keenum week two they get they lose to the Pats

they were never winning that game Pats coming off a loss then they go into Carolina and they win week three maybe they're not as bad as we thought they're fine

they should split they'll split their games in their division I think 8-9 at 7 maybe can't count Breeze out I picked for the Sunday marquee game I did not consult you division, I think. 8-8, 9-7, maybe. Can't count Breeze out. I picked for the Sunday marquee game.

I did not consult you. I didn't even think about this. Let me look real quick. Let's see what you were going to pick. Okay, go ahead. The Oakland Raiders traveling to Denver. Oh. Yeah.

I thought Tennessee-Houston. I thought you'd get a little cute with it. But you're right. That's the better. Tennessee-Houston can't be... I mean, that would be the best version of a Thursday night terrible game that we've watched a hundred times. Right. But the Broncos-Raiders are the best game. And we're going to know something good

and bad about these two teams. One of these teams is going to be... This is gut check time. One of them is going to be 2-2, which a quarter of the way through the season, not great. It's an uphill climb to find a playoff spot. I want to know which one of these teams is good. And I think we're going to find out on Sunday night. It's in Denver. It's not Sunday night, right?

It's afternoon? I mean, yeah, Sunday afternoon. It's in Denver. I have the Broncos favored by three. In Denver, I had them favored by three. In Denver, I had them favored by three. It's two. It was one and a half.

It went to two. So people, Vegas, not excited about the Broncos. How much of the Bills Broncos did you watch last night? Oh, I watched the whole thing

because I had the under. Trevor Simeon, some bad throws. Yeah. He wasn't happy with his performance. Was that just a typical? I feel like when we were in college, that was a game that we'd all bet the Broncos and we'd get crushed.

They looked so good against Dallas. The running backs are running downhill. Simeon couldn't miss a pass. Their defense was phenomenal. Then they traveled to Buffalo. All right, so we saw nothing out of Buffalo against Carolina. And it was a fixed line of the week for sure, minus three. I would think it's a game that we lost money on in college,

but then by our mid-20s learned a bit on Buffalo. Figured it out. And now we've had kids and we're too stupid to remember what to do. Yeah, well, I was in college in my mid-20s, so it's hard for me to negotiate. The poopfecta is exciting this week. Let's hear it. I have three. You could arguably put four in here,

but I have three. The first one, Cincinnati is traveling to Cleveland. Cleveland is going to be in the poopfecta every week, but this one is particularly poopy. It's bad. It is a bad one.

It's a shame one of these teams has to have a win. They're both 0-3 going in. I went on Francesa on Friday to do picks again. Yeah, look at you. And he didn't like the slate. So his first game, he just picked Indianapolis because Cleveland was road favorites,

and he thought that was ridiculous. And it was brilliant. I was so jealous of it. I wish I had come up with that for my column. Now I think the line is going to shift back to where it should be. I have the Bengals by three in Cleveland. We both had three. It is three, in fact.

And Vegas has issued an apology for making Cleveland a road favorite. They said they have not been this embarrassed. We should have bet on that. Will you promise me next time that happens we're betting on that? I know. And they were getting killed, and they made it close, and then Deshaun had his third interception.

That was really frustrating. Second poop-fected game of the week. Yet another bad team at home, the Jets, who are suddenly the best team

in New York at least. What the hell's going on? They are hosting the Jaguars of Jacksonville. Mm-hmm. And I picked Jacksonville minus three and a half.

Good call. It is three and a half. I had one. I went very light on that. I don't know why, but Jacksonville three and a half is the right number. That's one of those, whoever's up by seven wins the game. If you're up seven, nothing, 10, three, the game's over. You won. The other team can't come back. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You know, my boy shothan, he's going to have his players ready. ShotKhan, a captain. So now if they win this game, and I think they should, Jacksonville, they'll be 3-1, and we'll get to it later.

But Tennessee-Houston. I disagree on. Oh, you do? I think they should. It's Blake Bortles. All right. This is what he does. He ropes you in. He's roping you in.

I won't get too excited about that. Don't get too excited about Blake Bortles. Defense is good. It's superb, I think. I won't get too excited about that defense. Defense is good. Superb, I think. Could they have taken Deshaun Watson? Yeah. They took Fournette. They took Fournette. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's pretty good. Yeah, that's not bad. Good rookies this year, right? Yeah, the rookie running backs. Hunt's probably going to win it, but Dalvin Cook is tremendous. Fournette. Your boy McCaffrey had over 100 yards receiving. Well, that's because they throw it to him 100 times.

Yeah. It's amazing. I went into our fantasy draft, and the only thing I wanted to do was get three of the four rookie running backs, and somehow I spent $45 on Jordan Howard. I'm just so bad at fantasy drafting. I'm glad they haven't given up on him. I thought the Bears gave up on him after one week.

No. Somebody spent, what, 51 bucks on Tari. I thought the Bears gave up on him after one week. No. Somebody spent, what, 51 bucks on Tariq Cohen in our league? Oh, and a free agent. Yeah. Third poopfecta. The Arizona Cardinals. We don't know how poopy they are because we haven't seen tonight's Dallas-Arizona game. Right.

They're home facing the 49ers of San Francisco. What'd you have for this one, Sal? I got it right. I had seven. Cardinals by seven. That's the line? You had it lower? I had Cardinals by two and a half.

Oh, come on. I swear to God. Come on. Why are the Cardinals favored by seven? What the hell have they done? The Cardinals are good? I think you got excited by Thursday night. A great moral victory by that.

But you're telling me the Cardinals are seven points better than the Niners? One of the Niners went on the road. How can you give them less than three? What's good about the Cardinals? They're terrible. They're going to get killed tonight. What did the Niners do on the road last year? What have the Cardinals done this season that made you excited about them?

He's so mad. They don't have David Johnson. Yeah. What's good about them? Larry Fitzgerald, the gold. The Colts were, oh, wait. Where did San Francisco go? Oh, Seattle.

I was 13th. That's a stupid line. All right. Anytime I'm four and a half points off on a line, I'm right. You're not taking the 49ers in that game. I'm going to take the 49ers. No way. I will take the 49ers.

The one thing I'll say is. I'm going to shove it right in your mug. This is really weird. What's weird is the Cards play Monday night. Yeah. They play San Francisco, who is going to have 10 days rest. They're coming off a short week. Same with Dallas. Dallas comes off a short week next week.

They're playing the Rams, who have 10 days rest. It's weird that they did that to both teams. Both Monday night teams play both Thursday nights. They just never figured out how to make the schedule make sense. Quick break to talk about Bluehost, a top-rated website provider powering over 2 million websites. For bloggers or small business owners,

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Gambling. Let Bluehost do your website. Now our listeners say 50%. All you have to do is sign up at bluehost.com slash bluehost.com slash Bill Simmons. All right. The Barely Watchables. Is this going to be a new podcast? The Barely Watchables?

The Barely Watchables. You're talking about movies that you couldn't get through even once? To me, every movie's watchable. I don't even know. I wouldn't even qualify for Barely Watchable. I was up till two in the morning watching Shattered Glass the other day. I don't watch anything. Oh, come on. That's a good movie. It is a good movie.

Hayden Christensen? Hayden Christensen's good in that movie. That's a good movie. I mean, I'm Shattered Glass. It's a great story. It's a good one. It's too much to watch. Barely watchables. Steelers. At the Ravens. I don't know. I gotta say, I didn't know what to do with this line.

I had the Steelers by two and a half. You knew exactly what to do with it. That's exactly right. You could have told me the Ravens were favored by three. I wouldn't have been shocked. They can't let that happen. Pittsburgh, I had favored by one. It's two and a half.

I will remind people that the Ravens, home Ravens versus away Ravens are almost two different teams. It's like split. Same with the Steelers. Yeah. Go on the road, they're a different team. Yes. But I'm trying to figure out what makes the Steelers favored in this game.

I think that Joe Flacco looked like a corpse. Yeah. That might have done it. Well, the other thing is when you play in London, you have the option of taking a bye the next week. Yeah. Neither the Jags nor the Ravens decided. The Jags have the Jets, so they probably figure

that's a buy anyway. The Ravens, though, having to play the Steelers after London is rough. Have we seen somebody play the week after a London game? I think we did.

I think, because there are so many of them now. Let's see the stats on that. Yeah. We should check that out. Another one that, oh, wait.

Who's home for Chargers-Eagles? I think I wrote this down wrong. Chargers are home. Okay. Man, I don't know what to, I wrote that down wrong. I don't know what to do. I'm going to say Eagles by two over the Chargers in LA. I said Eagles by two also.

And it started at Eagles by one and a half, and now it's a pick-em. Big money coming in on the Chargers overnight. I'd like to remind people how many Philly fans will be at this game. Now, you can argue that's a bad thing. Every single one of them. But I would say if that's 27,000, what would you say top five

transplants in LA just based on living here for how many years you've been here? 20 now. So i would say new york has the most right with people in our lives i would say boston you guys second right i would say chicago third yeah the three big yeah i would say philly fourth or people that have some connection to philly whether it's they live there they lived in Delaware, they lived in the Jersey part that's close to Philly. They went to one of the schools there.

Interesting. That would be my fourth pick. I would say maybe Washington. Washington, D.C. Yeah, and I work with a lot of people from D.C., I think. See, I feel like the D.C., they never leave. No? They're like Joe House.

It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. They won't go. You just get sucked in by the 105 degree weather. That's interesting. of the body snatchers. They won't go. You just get sucked in by the 105 degree weather. That's interesting. I wouldn't even think. I think the top three are far and away. The top three. But Philly's at least in the top five or six. Yeah, they're in a conversation, I think.

And I think all of them will be at this game. Because it's your one chance to go to an Eagles game in a 28,000 seat stadium. I don't know why it bothers me so much, the $100 parking, because now people are posting pictures of $100 parking. But this is a stadium. It's not like Jerry Jones

who's charged $90 when the stadium was first built. And we were out there. We couldn't believe it. We were looking for parking like, $90? What are we going to do? This is crazy. We don't have $90. But the whole thing was... We definitely have $90. Back then we didn't have $90. But the whole thing was... We definitely have $90. Back then we didn't have $90.

But no, but we... But this isn't a stadium that they built. Why do they need $100? What are they recouping for $100? And there's no mass transit that goes to Carson. You're better off taking a train to a half hour away and then Ubering to the stadium. They're just making it too hard.

I think this LA Chargers thing, which I actually was intrigued by and rooting for, has gone horribly. Every single thing has gone wrong. Phil Rivers looks washed up. The Korean kicker who was set up to be this folk hero, he blew the second game. They look terrible.

Their coaches really botched the first two games, and now they're 0-3 in a tough division. They have no chance at the playoffs, and now you're facing Philly coming in week four and 27,000 Philly fans. This is a disaster. It's really bad. It's really bad. They were better off staying in San Diego and playing at

the University of San Diego stadium for three years over this. And they talk about Phil Rivers commuting to L.A. every day or whatever. Like, like it's a great thing. Like, Oh,

look what he's does. Like that's a miserable drive. I know he has 14 picks. I know he has 14 kids, but yeah, that's not going to be good for a player to do that every day. Quarterback. This is a terrible game that I plan on not watching Tampa at home for the

New York giants. I have Tampa by seven. Tampa's dying for us to put them in a tease. They're just, they're taunting us. They're sending us texts. They're sending us flowers from books. Yeah. They just really want to, and I don't trust them.

I don't like what I saw from Jameis. I'm about to turn my back on them as a playoff contender. Yeah. They hurt my feelings yesterday. The hard knocks hard on is subsiding. And I have them in our wins pool. Oh, right, yeah. You have them all over the place.

My wins pool, I might be done. I have Seattle, Tampa, and San Francisco. I might be going home. But Jameis, I thought this would be the year that he stopped throwing the ball to the other team, but he likes it too much. He likes throwing the ball to the other team. Maybe give him a break, because that's a fierce defense, Minnesota. I don't want to give him a break. You don't want to give him a break? All right. I have the Buc the other team. Maybe give them a break, because that's a fierce defense, Minnesota. I don't want to give them a break.

You don't want to give them a break? All right. I have the Bucs by seven. You may not even have to tease them. I have them by six, and it's four. So if you like the Bucs, they're banking on the Giants to get that first win or come close or try. The Giants stink.

They're really bad. They're not a good football team. The Giants, we see bad coaching every year. It's really tough for bad coaching to jump out. They, Peterson versus McAdoo yesterday was about as bad as you're going to see. It's pretty good. I would put,

I would have them, I would have Anthony Lynn, Marvin Lewis. Who else is in the bottom five? Pagano. Well, I'll tell you, you want to know who's odds and who's to be fired first?

First coach fired. Let's do it. Pagano, minus 140. Minus 140. Oh, he's favored. Oh, my God. His favorite. McAdoo, plus 180.

Now, he was not in the top five. I think McAdoo's the favorite now. You think so? If you're Indy, you kind of want Pagano to ruin your season now at this point. But if he lost to Cleveland, your season now at this point. But if he lost to Cleveland, he might be gone this week. But now I think he bought himself a few. McAdoo, you're right.

If he's 0-4, he can go. He doesn't sound like he even wants to be there in the press conferences. Who is following the Giants? Who roots for the Giants? Who's around the Giants? Who has said the words? Yeah. You know what? Ben McAdoo, he's putting together something here.

That's our guy. Everybody seems to be confused and horrified by Ben McAdoo. Yeah, right. He really seems completely out to lunch. Marvin Lewis, 5-1. Sean Payton, 15-1. And Hugh Jackson, 20-1. Sean Payton, 15-1.

15-1, Sean Payton. I would say McAdoo. I do not see him making it to November. Yeah, I think McAdoo also. I think if they lose this game badly in Tampa, what do they do? Who's their backup assistant? I don't even know. I don't know who's next.

Maybe Phil Simms. To get in there? Perry Few? I don't know who they'll put in there. If Phil Simms took over the Giants, would he just say he talked to himself? I talked to myself last night. It would suck when Romo unseats Simms

as head coach two years from now. At Bucs, home for Chargers, at Broncos, and then the Seahawks. That home game for the Chargers would be their first. I mean, they could go 0-7 if they don't win. There might be eight picks in that game. Yeah. Oh, yeah. and then the Seahawks. That home game for the Chargers would be their first. I mean, they could go 0-7 if they don't win. There might be eight picks in that game. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That'd be bad news. We should look to bet that. I wish Eli had more picks. I want to see somebody make a run at Favre's 21st century interception record is 28, and Eli almost beat it a couple years ago to 27. Yeah, 27.

I think Rivers could get to 30. Really? The way he throws the ball around. Yeah. How many does he have now? Like six? He has six, and then Kaiser has seven. Kaiser has the most right now.

I just feel bad. It's going down this year, the interception record. He might be listening to this. He has a long commute, Phil Rivers. You understand. So there's a chance he's listening. Phil, I think you should ask for a trade. Yeah.

Right? The move with the Chargers should be to trade Phil Rivers right now. They won. I think it's too late for that. Last barely watchable game. Hate to put my team in here, but Pats home for the Panthers of Carolina. I have the Pats by 10. What do you have?

Wow, you have a—I think you're missing a game. Oh, because it has to count as Sunday night. I see what youats by 10. What do you have? Wow, you have a... I think you're missing a game. Oh, because it has to count as Sunday night. I see what you did. Okay. All right. You had 10? I had 8, and it's 8.5, so I get that.

You love that on a teaser. You love it. I don't like anything I'm seeing from the Pats. All right, Tate, let's hear... Come on, Tate. Actually, let me do one more read, and then we'll hear from Tate, who went to... A lot of pressure, Tate, let's hear. Come on, Tate. Actually, let me do one more read, and then we'll hear from Tate, who went to Carolina. A lot of pressure, Tate.

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and now Tate Frazier's story of going to Carolina for week three. Nicest fans, nicest people that are working at the stadium. Everyone was in good spirits. They believed that Cam Newton was going to have a breakout game. That was before. Everyone was excited. High Cam spirits. Yeah, it feels like it's going to be the day.

He does his whole run in, does the whole fly and everything. First drive, everything's going great. Running the ball, Jonathan Stewart looks good. McCaffrey has a few little screen passes that work out. Everyone's excited. Get held to a field goal. Get the field goal. And then Drew Brees comes down like a real quarterback.

He's throwing to Michael Thomas, who's like, forget about Brandon Cooks. They have Michael Thomas, this Ohio State kid that's awesome. Yeah. But my main takeaway is that they run 25 plays for McCaffrey, and there needs to be about 10. And they need to run plays for Curtis Samuel, the second-round pick they have. It was like one end-to-round.

They flipped it up, Cam did, and it was great. But the offense is really bad. Luke Kuechly and Thomas Davis both took off their helmets at one time to yell at the sideline about the defense. Like they were about to have a coup against the defense. It was like a mutiny was happening on the field uh ron rivera in the first coach fire i haven't seen him in the list it's uh i think mike shula is the one that's going to be on the chopping block the offensive coordinator i think cam cam looks dejected he's doing this

weird thing where he like he scored a touchdown and he didn't celebrate and if cam news not celebrating a touchdown something's wrong with him you know like that's just not who he is that's a good call. It was a very weird day. A lot of people were turning and saying they should put in Derek Anderson, the 2007 Pro Bowl quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. That would have been a mistake. Come on.

So it was tough. It was really ugly. So the McCaffrey thing is the big revelation because I have him on my fantasy team, and it does seem like they're trying to jam him down the offense's throat. A little Tavon Austin, like that first couple Tavon Austin years. Yeah, this is the first week I've done that, though, right? They're like, you need to touch it 20 times a game. And meanwhile, Kelvin Benjamin gets hurt, which is obviously a big deal.

Greg Olson's out. How long is he out for? They're not sure yet, but he had a really bad horse collar gets pulled down. Let's say everything. Cam is throwing these guys into bad positions. And the one time used it sounds like tate's out on tam on cam no i i am like the biggest cam fan i really want to do well he had one scamper he got away and it looked like the old days and then the next play he does a one-step drop a rhythm throw and he throws this horrible pick and it's like what what is he looking at yeah he's He's doing the Jake DeLome, I can't see anything,

is what he said when he threw the five picks. He's like, I can't see anything. That's what Cam's doing right now. The good news is Carolina fans have experience with their quarterback completely self-destructing. After a Super Bowl. You know all the signs. After a devastating Super Bowl loss.

So your theory is after Cam got the shit kicked out of him in that Denver game in week one last year. 2016, yeah. That he's never been the same. Yeah, they teed off on him. They really did. Von Miller, as for like the Joe Theismann LT thing, I know like, but the same thing sort of happened to Cam mentally,

I feel like. He needs to go to a sports psychologist. So it's like when Ronda Rousey got knocked out, that's what that Denver game was for Cam. You lose the edge. You lose the, like people aren't scared of Cam anymore. They're like, okay, I know what to do against this guy. I'm going to rough him up, keep him in the pocket. I'm going to push the pocket up so he can, all he can do is step up and he doesn't want of Cam anymore. They're like, okay, I know what to do against this guy. I'm going to rough him up, keep him in the pocket.

I'm going to push the pocket up. All he can do is step up, and he doesn't want to step up. He wants to make the throw, and he can't make the throw. They look to me like a team that didn't have a preseason. Their offense has no identity. It might be as simple as Cam is injured. A lot of first coach fires. I feel bad.

Tate had a miserable weekend. His Carolina Tar Heels football team blew a fourth quarter lead. Against the devil himself. Yeah, against Duke. Everyone's getting on for that. He goes to a wedding. He vomits on the bride's uncle. He vomited on the bride's uncle?

He'll talk about that. No, that never happened. Did you go to a wedding? I did go to a wedding. Bride your girlfriend? Yeah. Did you have the near the end of the wedding fight? Everyone at the wedding asks you when you're getting married. Yeah, I know. This is how you play Yeah. Did you have the near the end of the wedding

fight? Everyone at the wedding asks you when you're getting married. Yeah, I know. This is how you play that. You just say she's the one. You don't give any dates,

specifics, timelines. You just say she's the one and then you walk away. She didn't start a fight with you at the end? No, of course not. No, no, no. Because I had the right answer.

She's the one. He has what, 10 weddings to go to in the next two years? Like this is the age where you just get slaughtered. The problem is they all, the other people at these functions,

the weddings, Christmas, Thanksgiving. So when are you guys? I never would have gotten married if people didn't keep asking my wife that question. You should get a taser. It should be called the Tay-taser. And anytime anyone asks you when you're getting married, just give a shot to the midsection.

For everyone in your life who might ask that question, you should immediately fire back with something they don a shot to the midsection. For everyone in your life who might ask that question, you should immediately fire back with something they don't want to answer. But what are you going to answer for voting for Trump two years ago? What do you think about the NFL protests? And then they're just like, oh. Yeah, just fire right back on them. That's the plan. It's too busy vomiting.

And I won't say Michael Thomas, best game of his career. And then the Jaguars' Michael Thomas comes out and has this heartfelt, you know, teary-eyed thing about Trump. So he stole the Michael Thomas train. He stole all the headlines. Biggest Michael Thomas of the day. Tate Lombardi recapped all the games on GM Street, which is going up on Ringer NFL.

They did it this morning? They had to do it this morning because Tate was fine back. But yeah, that's happening. Tate's working on two hours sleep. All right, the watchables. We have seven games left to zip through. Let's do it. We should do that quick.

The Bills hosting the Falcons. Okay. This is a good game. I'm excited for this game. Falcons minus three and a half over the Bills is my guess. Oh, wow. Wow. NFC champs. Buffalo coming to Atlanta. I said seven. It's eight

and a half. I stand by the pick. I think you're on two hours sleep. I think Buffalo's good. I watched the Falcons yesterday almost blow a game to the Lions and make a ton of mistakes. Outdoors, Falcons, I think that people have to factor that in too. I think the Falcons are smart. They know how to win games.

I think Matt Ryan throws a pick six on the road. They almost lost. Go take a tackle on the one inch out. Whatever. They gave him the middle of the field. That's a risk you take when you throw down the middle of the field with no timeouts. They almost lost. Go take a tackle on the one-inch out. Whatever. They gave him the middle of the field. That's a risky take when you throw down the middle of the field with no timeouts. That is true. Didn't get enough credit for being too risky. That's what people should talk about.

Not the 10-second one. And he definitely was tackled. I thought right away. I was like, he got tackled before he went in. That's a great game. I'm interested with this Bills team. I like everything I've seen from them the first couple weeks. I think they're super-duper frisky. They'll probably go 8-8, but they're in all these games.

I probably swung and missed on the Bills. I thought they would be an underpick. I think they were like under 6.5. I mean, they were trading starters and stuff. Yeah, it didn't make sense to me. I still like Atlanta for the NFC. Atlanta for the NFC was plus 360 last week this time, plus 260 now. Jump on it if you can.

I'm going to keep staring at it until it goes to even odds. All right. Houston at home for the Titans of Tennessee. You said this should have been a marquee game. Who do you have? Well, I had Houston by three. What do you have? That's what I had, too.

We're way off. Tennessee by one and a half. We tie. And for that reason, I will not be able to pick this game correctly. I could take both sides and I'll get it wrong. I think Tennessee is officially my 2017 team. I'm just going to get wrong every week. Yeah.

We predicted that a few weeks ago. We said this is who we're going to lose on. I knew it heading in, and I can't say Marietta's name correctly. I always call Marietta. It's Mariotta. I just say it wrong every time. And I don't believe in Mike Malarkey, and I'm just going to always get them wrong. Dallas home for the Rams.

Oh, man. You're afraid of this game. I'm afraid of every game. We haven't done a pod since that unbelievable Thursday night Rams game. Right, right. That game was so much fun it almost like it almost saved the nfl that we had like thursday nights yeah like thursday nights i mean can you imagine if jacksonville baltimore was thursday night and that rams niners was london like they they did it right they gave it gave you some hope for thursday night i agree uh i i was in early on Sean McVay based on my experiences with millennials. And I feel like I was proven correct.

Everybody loves him. Anyone they interview loves that guy. I like when he just left the sidelines and was just sitting on a chair working on – his defense is out there. He's not even watching. He's working on some sort of – He's like building a deck or something. But I like their weapons. I like Watkins.

Todd Gurley is one of the five best players in the league the first three weeks, right? Great running backs. Yeah, that's crazy. Todd Gurley was incredible. In one game, he has a whole season's worth of stats. He's been great. Devontae Freeman, I think, has been really good.

Kareem Hunt's obviously been awesome. But it seems like this new generation of running backs. A lot of the rookies, sure. So I had the Cowboys by six over the Rams. I had five and a half. It's seven and a half, so you get that one right. I don't know. I think we still determine

where that line goes. Also, again, I don't know why the team with 10 days rest plays the team on a short week. Again. Vikings home for the Lions. Case Keenum looked terrible in week two. Looked better than Sam Bradford in week three. The worst quarterback controversy ever brewing in Minnesota.

Vikings by three over Detroit. I had five and a half. There's no line. Why don't they put one out? Who cares if it's Bradford or Keenum? I don't know what to make of that Case Keenum thing. The Lions are good. I liked how they fought back in that, uh, that Atlanta game,

that game looked like it was over a couple of times. I mean, they got, they, they have this pull the horseshoe out of, out of their ass luck with turnovers. And it's just constantly. And then finally they get burned on the golden tape.

You're not going to win every fourth quarter game. Like the close game. But they, uh, I like, I like how they stayed in that game and they're, they're explosive. Stafford's good.

Pretty well coached. Jim Caldwell took him about nine years to be a good coach, but he's actually half decent now. He's not even in the mention of first coach fired. He blinked three times yesterday. And then we did Broncos Raiders already. All right, so that's all the watchables. Sunday night is terrible.

Really bad. Well, when the network is banking on Andrew Luck being quarterback and it's not even close. They can't flex this one. If you're taking heat at home with your wife or girlfriend or if you're

the female football fan in the family and your man doesn't watch and Sunday nights you just blow them off. That's more likely. It's a great week to go out. Great week to go have dinner, go pumpkin patch hunting, whatever the hell you want to do. I'm with you.

Seattle home for the Indianapolis Colts and Jacoby Brissett and Chuck Pagano. I have Seattle by 13. Good call. Thanks. Right on. Opened at 12.5, went to 13. I had 10.5. I don't know why I didn't go higher than that.

But I almost think the Colts don't have a chance in this game. Seattle, angry. I also don't understand. I mean, maybe Frank Gore has 200 yards rushing because they give up like, somehow this defense gives up like six yards a carry, the Seattle defense. But I think they'll be too angry to blow this. I don't know what to make of Seattle anymore. I thought they were going to show up in Tennessee.

It wasn't just that they lost, because you can blow stupid games, but they took the lead with a minute left before halftime, and then just started giving up drives in really big plays. Russell Wilson has plays where he's running so far backwards that he can't even reach the line of scrimmage on a pass that he's trying to get away. That's hard to do. And on several plays, he's backtracking so far that he's out of it.

Who's your favorite Seahawks running back? Which one would you want on your fantasy team if you could have any of them? I think this Carson guy runs hard. I like Carson the most. Right? How much did he go for in the first? I think the Jennys might have even gotten him in free agency. Yeah, they don't know.

It was definitely free agency. It was like 40 bucks or something. Wait, let's add these up real quick because we don't give it enough. You're leading in the two weeks to one, and you have 8, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. You're done. You beat me? 10-8, including ties. Well, any time I, 7, 8. Oh, you're done. You beat me? It's 10-8, including ties. Well, any time I'm 4.5 points off, I'll win.

All right, Monday night is actually the marquee game of the week. Kansas City hosting Washington. It's a great game. I'm excited to watch this game. Really good. Really good. I had the Chiefs by 6.5. Good.

Wow. I mean, for losing, I think you had the most right on the number, and it was 6.5. I mean, for losing, I think you had the most right on the number, and it was six and a half. I had six. And you love the Chiefs and the Patriots on a teaser. Now, what's going to happen is I'm going to end up teasing the Bucs with the Chiefs and losing. I'm one of those two teams. After all that. One of those two is going to screw me.

I'm giving you a birthday parlay. It's Bill Simmons' birthday, everybody. Oh, thanks. It's Brandon Cook's birthday, too. It's my birthday. And Scottie Pippen. And Scottie Pippen. Brandon Cook's birthday is pretty big.

I had a giant game for you. Not only is it my birthday, it's the three-year anniversary of when Rosie O'Donnell said that I had beautiful eyes. Really? On The View, yeah. She did? Yeah.

It's the three-year anniversary. I'll celebrate that more than my birthday three years later rosie i'm looking at him right now still true still true on that you know i just been suspended by his pin i think i'd been yeah it was that day or something they were talking about on the view which is when i officially knew it was a big deal right yeah and uh and rosie came right in had my back and here's rosie are. I always have Rosie's back now. Now, if only Kevin Durant could notice your beautiful eyes. That's my dude, man. I know.

Do you have plans tonight? I got called Mrs. Durant in my mailbag two weeks ago. We have to do Parent Corner because people love Parent Corner last week. I'm going to give you a free parlay, though, on your birthday. Oh, you always do this. I want to do this, but it should be for the game tonight. For the game tonight? Yeah, because it is your birthday. Oh, you always do this. I want to do this, but it should be for the game tonight. For the game tonight? Yeah, because it is your birthday.

I'll do a Cowboys Moneyline Parlay with... You could look at some of the individual stuff, too. Yeah, alright, I'll figure that later. Okay. I don't want to... Alright, go ahead. It's too much pressure. Parent Corner, do you want to go first? Yeah, I'll go first.

Great. People loved Parent Corner last week. We don't have a sponsor for it yet, but they did like it. pressure parent corner do you want to go first yeah i'll go first great um people love parent corner last week they're they we don't have a sponsor for it yet but they did like it yeah uh i have a 12 year old has been playing fantasy football for three years he needed 5.2 points at a car last night and he had he got like 5.13, and he threw a fit. And they did a weird thing, the Raiders, at the end of that game, for anyone who needed six points out of Carr. They didn't call timeouts, but they let Carr go in there for the last minute, and he dumped like passes over the middle.

So my son is going nuts, but he's not swearing because he knows I'll get mad. And he's like, oh, what a sucky jerk. You sucky jerk. He was like getting so mad. And my wife is like, what is going what is going on down there i was like our boy's becoming a man that's what's going on down there so i want to i want to hand it to my son to approve of his temper tantrum last night fantasy football related he lost by 0.13 or something that's a great one i don't have a good parent corner this week but i do want to give a shout out. I went to Disneyland on Wednesday night because they have this Halloween thing.

Oh, right. They clear out the park at six o'clock, you have to buy tickets, and you go in. It's like a candy free-for-all. Have you ever been there for this? They have all these candy stops, and your kids go, and they go, and then they go back, and they circle back. So my kid has this giant, giant thing of candy, just giant. It's like a whole grocery bag full of candy. So then like three days later, my wife realizes that the candy, she doesn't know where it is, and my son's claiming he doesn't know where it is.

He hid it in his WWEwe crate in his bed great and half of the candy was gone no it was like a corn hooli episode he was all right guys i'm gonna go to bed he was just going in his room eating candy and uh i'm convinced that my son is gonna take seven years to graduate college because i think he's going to be awake for all of them. He's so ahead of us on stuff already and he lies to us and he's up to things and he's hiding things already. He's nine and a half. He's going to have a fridge in his room

and so... That's a great ad for Disneyland. That story. It really is. Well, my daughter's the most honest person ever, at least right now. And then my son is just a flat out liar. Like, right to your face on anything. Did you eat that last pizza?

He said, no. No. And then you know, because his jaw starts quivering. Anyway. Greatest place on earth. Happiest place on earth. Yeah. So I learned this week on Parent Corner.

Don't trust little boys. Does your son hide stuff from you? I think so. I'll open that door and I'll get the iPad clutched to the chest pretty quickly. How have you handled your son with going on the internet and looking at porn? I don't know. Because they can just go on their iPad and you don't know what the hell they're doing. I know.

Do you put those parent protector things in there? Can't they get around that somehow? I don't even bother. I just hope that he does the best thing. It's so easy to find porn. There should be like three steps to be able to see anything. In my head, he's just checking

his fantasy football lineup at two in the morning. Naked. Different sucky jerks. That's right. Oh, Tate! Tate is back! Let's end on that 50 minute shower start it's yeah exactly i'm not looking forward to if anyone has any uh you know any advice on how to handle this because i'm i'm lost with the 12 year old boys well it could be worse you could have a

12 year old girl yeah that's right right. But that's your wife. That's all her. She has to get out. We go to the soccer game. She had a soccer game on Saturday and forgot to wear a jogging bra. Really? So what happens?

You have to go to Kmart or something? My wife had to bring a jogging bra. Nice. And I'm just like, I'm out. I don't want to be a part of this. Not even sure she needed a jogging bra, but it's more like a state of mind at this point. I'm a 12-year-old woman. she needed a jogging bra but it's it's more like a state of mind at this point like i'm a 12 year old woman i need a jogging bra i feel stupid because

i got you a jogging bra for your birthday oh that's great thank you appreciate that so there's there's a lot of seventh grade girl drama that i'm debating whether to bring up on parent corner really yeah maybe maybe like week four okay well we're there i don't know i think my daughter might actually get legitimate mad at me we'll dub your voice over like you know how they do that I'd have to use pseudonyms but 7th grade girl job is unbelievable I love to hear it

you see all the seeds for what's going to happen for the next 30 years of her life with friends and friends just deciding they like somebody else all that stuff it's all there in 7th grade they're not stealing each other's disney candy it's not that bad it's different i want to know what else is in my son's room like we might actually have to go through and see what else there could be a whole other segment like a relative in there all right uh that's it for

week three i'm heading into week four thanks to sea SeatGeek for $20 off your first SeatGeek purchase on NFL tickets. Use promo code BSNFL. Thanks to Captain Morgan. The captain loves anyone who learns to mix like a captain. Thanks to TheRinger.com. Don't forget, every Friday, my football column, mailbag slash picks, goes up Friday morning. Plus Sal's best bet of the week, your make-believe casino thing

from Against All Odds with Cousin Sal. Yeah, we're going to cover football, hockey futures this week, baseball, all of it. Baseball is going to be almost like a two-hour podcast. Thanks to Gillette. Did you know a Gillette razor blade is thinner than a single brain cell? That's the product of many brain cells that work for the thousands of men and women at Gillette. They're always working harder to make your shave better. Now, you get Gillette blades for less at GilletteOn They're always working harder to make your shave better. Now, you get Gillette blades for less at

GilletteOnDemand.com. Gillette, the best a man can get. Pricing applies to select products and is at the sole discretion of the retailer. Thanks to Bluehost. Whether you're a blogger, a small business owner, Bluehost does everything you need to build, host, and manage the website you've always wanted. Simple enough for beginners. Powerful enough for even the most advanced

users. Design your website your way. No wonder it's been the top recommended WordPress host on WordPress.org since 2005. And now our listeners save 50% when you sign up at bluehost.com slash bluehost.com slash Bill Simmons. We should give a shout-out to our cousin. Let's do it. Phenomenal week for him last week. Very emotional.

I was away with him this weekend and dozens of people came up to him telling him what a great job he's doing with this healthcare stuff. When the stories get personal, it hits home. They're showing pictures of their kids who can't feed themselves at 20 years old and

need all this coverage and can't get it. And then it becomes a real thing. He seems overwhelmed. In a good way, but definitely overwhelmed. He's definitely more famous in the mix than he's ever been. Yeah, I mean, he wants to know what he's talking about. So he's basically doing homework. He's studying this stuff.

Plus the way he's wired, he has to get everything perfect. Right, exactly. He somehow found a way to get in an argument with me on text about whether Young Sheldon was going to be a good show or not. He said yes, right? He thinks it's going to be the best show of the new season on any network. Because I was like, this show looks terrible. He's like, no, it's going to be great.

So we took a break from that. ABC would welcome it in a second. ABC's got Steve Harvey's Thunderdome on Sunday nights at 9 p.m. Have they just given up? We got a young doctor. Is it a young doctor? Good doctor. Good doctor.

Yeah. The show I'm most excited about is Wisdom of the Crowd with my man Jeremy Piven. What's that on? It's on CBS. It is. He is the last celebrity who is completely not self-aware at all. He's my favorite Instagram follow. That's not true.

I urge everyone out there to follow him on Instagram. And now he's hosting his own show, and I can't wait. Or not hosting his own show, starring in his own CBS drama. It's going to be great. I can't wait. I love Piven. None of it with turtles not in it? None of those guys?

No. No, it's a new look for Piven. I don't know if it's going to work. It's great. Sal, good job by you. Good job by you. Happy 50th birthday. Come on. Years job by you. Happy 50th birthday. Come on.

Years away from 50. On the wayside On the first I never said I don't have to ever say I don't have