The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Week 5 With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast (Ep. 422)

Episode Date: October 1, 2018

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the eventful Bengals-Falcons matchup, the Browns-Raiders shootout, and the coaching debacle that occurred during the Colts-Texans game (among others), before they guess the NFL Lines for week 5. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tonight's Sunday episode of the Bill Simmons podcast on the ringer podcast network is brought to you as always by zipper critter. You know, it's not smart counting out the Patriots when they're one and two. Don't do that. Were we one and two or two and one? We were one and two before today. Now we're two and two. We'll be three and two on Friday.

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If you love that movie and if you love The Rewatchables, me, Sean Fennessy, and Chris Ryan, check out theringer.com. All of our NFL stuff. Mondays is usually a great day for us, breaking down everything that happened. We also have The Ringer NFL Show. Clark and Mays, they're taping a podcast right now, Sunday night, on The Ringer NFL Show. Then GM Street with Mike Lombardi and Tate Frazier comes the next Tuesday morning.

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Check it out. Coming up, our old friend Cousin Sal, but first. Oh, you know, before I say, but first, Pearl Jam. Friday on Pearl Jam Radio. This is happening. I am a guest DJ at noon ET on Friday. I am not counting down. I'm just doing my favorite 18 Pearl Jam songs right now.

Not forever. Not all time. Just right now. The 18 I like the most right now in 2018. They were kind enough to let me DJ and give me the car keys. And you can check that out if you have Sirius XM. It is on Pearl Jam Radio, 12 o'clock ET.

There you go. Without further ado, first up, Pearl Jam Radio 12 o'clock ET there you go without further ado first up Pearl Jam all right All right, the Cuzz is on the line. I've not talked to him really all day. I have no idea of the gamut of emotions you ran through today gambling. Cowboys. Cowboys win but don't cover.

It was beautiful. Joe Flacco is back. The Browns are exciting. The Browns almost had two ties in the first four games, which would have been spectacular. Sal, what was your favorite thing about today? I liked the Falcons-Bengals. Yeah, that was good.

I think, what was that, 24? What was the score at half? It's crazy. It was like 28-24. What was it? I think it was 28-24, something like that, at halftime. Yeah, they were gunning. Yeah, it was 28-24, and I think it was the best game of the day, and I think Atlanta's 1-3, and they could be the most exciting

bad team this year. I mean, there's not enough defense to put them in a 13-7 game, I think, all year, so that's going to be fun to watch. Do you think they're one of the best six teams? It's possible. Atlanta at one and three? At one and three. Maybe.

With a complete inability to get stops ever. But I just, I don't know who's good. We know the Rams are good. We haven't talked since the Rams took care of business against the Vikes the other day. But you just look at the league. First of all, I think the Rams and Chiefs are the only undefeated teams.

The Chiefs play Monday night. They're in Denver. Has all the makings of a trap game. We'll get to that later in the pod. The Bears are 3-1. The Bengals are 3-1. The Dolphins are a very, very limp 3-1. The Saints are 3-1. The Bengals are 3-1. The Dolphins are a very, very limp 3-1. The Saints are 3-1 and looking pretty good.

The Titans, I have been impressed by. They have a toughness to them. They're 3-1. Nobody expected the Joe Flacco comeback. They're 3-1. And the Jags are 3-1. So there we go. That's it.

I don't know who the top six is out of those teams. Yeah, maybe no elites out of those. I was thinking of you watching Tennessee pull off the upset. Yeah. Forget about Jimmy G. What do you think about Vrabel? I mean, that's the coach I think you let get away. Does that bum you out a little bit?

He's good. Yeah. Respond to that guy. Yeah, he's good. He's a good first-year coach who seems to have a nice handle on what the hell he's doing. I'm not surprised you and I bet on them to win the division and the theory was

they had talent last year and they improved their coach and I think they have all the makings of that but what a weird division what do you make of that division the Jags just continue to both kind of linger around,

and they're definitely probably maybe a playoff team, but they're never impressive. I think the Jags' defense will nickel and dime teams to death. Teams like the Jets won't really stand a chance, especially at Jacksonville. I think Tennessee beats up on Jacksonville. I think they've won four of the last five or five of the last six, so that's going to be a fun rivalry, although they already beat them in Jacksonville. I think they won like four of the last five or five of the last six. That's going to be a fun rivalry. They already beat them in Jacksonville.

Otherwise, I think that other game, those other teams, with the Colts and Texans, both coaches may have played themselves out of the division race like four or five times in that game. That was incredible. There was a couple different five-minute stretches there

when the Bill O'Brien first coach fired odds were about to get cashed in. Yeah. Listen, I'll never understand what happened in the OT. First of all, we should mention the Colts went from minus one and a half to, at game time, they were pick-em, right?

I saw plus one, yeah. Oh, shit. So they would have covered it on time. Right. Yep. Fourth and four, they're on tie. Right. Yep. Fourth and four. They're on like the 40. There's 40 seconds left. Fourth and four, 43-yard line, 27 seconds left. 27 seconds left.

They go to the line, and it's like, oh, they're not going to run a play. They're going to do the fake, try to get the people to jump off sides play, which they did. And it's like, all right, okay. They're, they're taking the tie.

That's what they should do because T Y Hilton's out of this game. And it's, would be super risky to go for it here. Nope. Right. Come back out incomplete pass. And within like this, you snap your fingers and Houston's kicking the game winning field goal.

I don't know. Cause part of it, like if the Colts had gone for it and gotten it, I would've been like, wow, ballsy. Great. You know, it's like the Doug Peterson thing. My question is when you don't have your best receiver, I'm not sure you do that. You know, they had a bunch of guys where you're like, who's that guy? Who's this guy? And it was, those were all the receivers making all the catches. What were, what was your reaction when they did that? Well, I thought it was riskier. Forget about the fourth and four. I mean, you could probably get four either way, but they were at the 43.

They still needed about 30 yards to get some field goal range in 27 seconds. That to me is a giant, you know, mountain to climb there. That's why they should have punted the ball. Now let's not forget. I only think Bill O'Brien saved his job because Frank Reich bet on himself to be the first coach fired because they blew, what was that? Was it, uh,

they blew like a 11 point lead and with four minutes left, Houston did, right? Yeah. It was 28, 17, 28, 17.

So I don't know what happened. Houston locked out. I don't see either of these teams competing in the, uh, AFC South, but, uh, that was fun to watch a complete,

I think the coaching is at an all time. Worse. The coaching and the kicking is really, really bad this year. Houston had clowny, just going crazy. And at simultaneously, some of the worst defensive players of the weekend.

And they were just kind of doing the fricking frack thing. We, I don't, I, that whole division might be a write-off, except for Tennessee. Because the Pats made Bortles look really good, and the Jags obviously have a lot of talent on defense, but I don't think they're explosive enough

for where football is going. The more I watch these games, the more I'm starting to think that you have to be able to score. You have to be able to score, you know, you have to be able to on any day, get into the thirties to realistically have a chance to win the Super Bowl this year because of these rules, you know? And it's like, even, even you watch the Browns, the Browns put up 40 plus today and they, and then they blew it late, but at least they,

they can move the ball and make stuff happen. And they have a couple guys on the defensive side of the ball. And, you know, there's a recipe for them to do some damage in January. I'm not saying they will, but I look at the Jaguars and it's like, at some point they're going to be in a game where they're going to have to be in the thirties. And I just don't see them being able to do it. The Bears. Well, they got in the thirties because they went for a two point conversion against the Jets

and the Jets complained. But my feeling is anytime you allow Bortles to throw for 388 yards and 76%, you can't really complain about anything. Yeah.

Well, I like the Jets as a live underdog, but I think one of the things we learned today, we started the season thinking the three AFC East teams that weren't the Pats were all terrible. And now after week four, you go,

oh, those teams are all terrible. What were we thinking? You know, there was a case with the Jets. They were second in DVOA after three weeks. It was like, oh, the Jets. But all those teams are bad. You can't move the ball against a team like the Jaguars. Darnold wasn't even that terrible.

I don't even think he threw an interception. But they just drives at stall, drives at stall, and that's the name of their game, I think, going forward. And Miami was shockingly awful. If it wasn't for Tampa, that might have been the biggest stink bomb anyone laid today. I couldn't believe it. It was like they hadn't scouted the Pats. You have no feel for your team this year. You really don't. I think you're off three games in a row with them.

Yeah. I felt pretty stupid. I watched with Nephi Kai. I felt pretty dumb because it was the classic rope, September rope-a-dope by the Pats. But I wasn't expecting the pass rush that they got today. I really wasn't expecting it. I thought Miami's speed was going to be such a problem for them and Miami was just like

first and second down just run the ball into the line and then they would have these third and eights, third and twelves, third and tens and Tannehill was particularly atrocious you think in a 38-7 game I'm pretty sure he only had 100 yards passing he was just reprehensible

what's weird maybe they just don't have the right personnel for it. I thought they did, but these teams have just killed the Patriots the last couple years putting their linebackers in pass coverage and they just never did it. They didn't seem very interested in even trying to do it.

And then on the other side, I think last week I was watching the NFL Edge matchup show, whatever the hell that show's called, and they were talking about how the Lions were using six and seven defensive backs against the Pats last week. And they were just double-teaming Gronk, and they just were covering everything.

And I think the Pats went into this game like, if anyone does that again, we're running the ball. So they... Yeah. But that was the specific thing that we couldn't figure out. Why did the Pats get separation so much today, right? Why does Dorsett look like a pro bowler today and even

Gordon? I don't know. These guys all seem to get open at different times. Ask me about Josh Gordon. What do you think about Josh Gordon? I'm not ready to get sucked in yet, but I did get excited. I'll tell you this nephew,

Kyle, every Josh Gordon catch, uh, was about as excited as I've ever seen him. I think he feels a lot of kinship with Josh Gordon. You know, he's nephew Kyle's drank cough syrup before to try to get drunk. Yeah.

He's he, he's the Patriot that nephew Kyle would hang out with. Oh no. But is that going to be the secondot that Nephew Kyle would hang out with. Oh no. But is that going to be the second tattoo? It could be. It could be Josh Gordon holding the Lombardi.

Maybe just the number 10. Yeah. But he had, he had a couple like just great athlete receiver plays today that,

that just seemed different. And you get Edelman back. I mean, it just didn't make sense. Like what would it

pass this week? Minus 290 to win the division? Even two games back? And now it's got to be 1,000? Minus 1,000? What do you think it would be? No, I would think it would be like minus 600, something like that. Oh, look at these other teams.

Who's going to catch them? I don't know. Not the Bills. Edelman coming back's big, because the other thing that happens is Hogan's been kind of playing out of position they're not using him the way they would normally use him I think you put Edelman as a slot guy and that opens up some of the other stuff

Sonny Michel looked a lot better I think all my disappointing negative comments last week about him I think it lit a fire maybe we should give the rookies more than two games to kickstart their careers. Maybe we're too rough on them.

The hope was that missing the training camp was the reason that he looked so bad in that Detroit game. But, I mean, he had huge holes. I'm still not, I need to see more. But he did everything he needed to do today, I will say. I was impressed. Yeah, the Pats. Brady today, I will say. Right. I was impressed. Yeah, the Pats. Brady had, I would say, 10 terrible throws in that game.

Early on. Not nearly as many as Roethlisberger. Both of them come early on. He gets it out of his system, and he's back. Yeah, he had a great touchdown to White. That really felt like old school Brady. Had the little fist pump, stuff like that. Not as bad as Roethlisberger in that Sunday night game, though.

Oh, man. Wow. And then tougher, right? Baltimore, great game plan. Harbaugh, Harbaugh won that game. He really did. They controlled the clock. Pittsburgh offered no pressure defensively.

Maybe they're just the kind of defense that makes every offense look good. But, and you said it yourself, you said when Flacco's in a rhythm, you don't like it. It's a little unnerving for you, right? Yeah, I was texting you. I didn't bet on this game. I just didn't have a feel for it. I even sent you the 5 o'clock text. I talked you out of it.

I was like, what are we doing? Yeah, I was like, Steelers minus three? And you're like, no, no, no. Well, every game's going overtime. I'm like, you know what? I don't like minus three anymore. I don't know. If you can get one and a half, it's good nowadays.

Minus three hurts your feelings. It's too much. Yeah, the Ravens went into that game with the... It really seemed like Harbaugh's like, we play these guys twice a year. I'm a better coach than Mike Tomlin. I'm going to win this game for us. And we have Justin Tucker.

Flacco, you're going to make some throws. They're not good enough defensively to pressure you because as we know, when Flacco gets pressured, he's a different guy. He had time to throw. His receivers looked weirdly dangerous. It actually seemed like John Brown could have even had a bigger game than he had.

He's good. All these guys, they had Mike Wallace in the past. I don't think John Brown stretches the field like nobody else, like no one they've had in many years. They need third and four. They had Mike Wallace in the past. I don't think John Brown stretches the field like nobody else, like no one they've had in many years. They need third and four. They get five. They need second and 12. They get 13. It was quite a clinic they put on.

I think it forces Pittsburgh to do something with Le'Veon Bell here, don't you? I just think they need to reestablish an identity. I think their ask for Bell is going to be less this week in terms of a trade. Well,

we're not the only people who are going to have this conversation this week, but the Earl Thomas hurting his leg was the weirdest vindication for what Le'Veon Bell is doing, right? Earl Thomas flipping off his own sideline as he's getting carded off. What is that? What is he doing? He was rightfully

bitching for a bigger commitment for them for a year. He wrote a Players Tribune column about it, talking about how unfair all this shit is. Then he gets hurt and now he's in a situation where he's just not going to get the same kind of contract

next spring. And you watch that and then you look at Le'Veon Bell, and you go, okay, that's why he's sitting out. He doesn't want that to happen. No, I know, but what does the water boy and the strength and conditioning coach have to do? Why is he giving everybody the finger? He's just mad.

He's throwing little fingers around. It is a crazy... That's an interesting team. That's Seattle team. We're going to have a nice... We're going to have a few opportunities, maybe even this week to bet against them and, and win big.

I think. When you say interesting, is interesting the new word for shitty? Cause that team sucks. That's not a good team. It's crazy. You have the NFC West and the AFC East. You've six really below average teams out of eight

in those two divisions, you know, and the Rams are way better than the Patriots are right now. But, um, I bet I try to get you in on this. They had a, they don't do this. They don't put over-unders on team, individual teams during the season, but they threw one up, uh, San Francisco, the 49ers, they had it under six was like minus one 30. And I was like, God, they have to go, they have to go six and seven the rest of the way without Jimmy G. And, uh, they played their asses off today and scared me. And I had the

chargers on every money line. Yeah. Uh, but, uh, but that was that, I think that's a win. I think that whole division is in trouble other than the Rams. You're right. I mean, they could have 14. I should have listened to you on that Niners six-win thing. Speaking of the Chargers,

I learned two major things today for gambling purposes, and I'm going to give them to you right after this break. Let's talk about FanDuel. Football season is well underway. A lot of us have major regrets about our season-long fantasy teams.

I don't have as many major regrets with my fantasy teams as much as daily fantasy. I am just in a daily fantasy slump. Did a FanDuel team this week? Just got killed. You know what was a mistake? Making Ryan Tannehill, my super flex guy.

Yeah. Say goodbye to that FanDuel team. I'll be back for week five. At FanDuel, you get the excitement of researching and building your team every week. It's never been more fun or easy. It's even the place to play if you're not a fantasy expert. Something for everybody. More ways to win than ever before.

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Again, Fanduel.com. All right. The two major things I learned for gambling purposes today. Number one, I don't think we should allow ourselves to ever bet the Chargers as a high favorite. Maybe in a money parlay where all they have to do is win, but the kicking situation and the Anthony Lynn situation

for the 100th straight year, even though Anthony Lynn's only been the coach for two years, but stick with me. It's just like they leave... They've now gotten from every country, every continent. They can't kick. This Caleb Sturgis is supposed to be decent. And for some reason, he puts on that jersey and that's it. Nobody's making field goals or extra points.

Somehow he made like a 48-yard field goal, but he missed two extra points. And just stop kicking field goals. It's becoming Charlie Brown and Lucy, right? Would she pull the ball? You got to learn your lesson at some point. Just be the franchise that doesn't kick field goals. I think everyone would be fine with it. They leave so many points on the table that when they're giving 10.5 to the Niners like today, but they're going to leave 8 points on the table,

it's almost like you can't bet them. What I don't understand is how this just isn't a priority for them. If I had a terrible podcast producer that I changed every six months for the next 11 years, at some point, don't listen to this guy, don't listen to this guy. But at some point you just have to look in the mirror and go, wow, I should probably fix this. And you know, now, now it becomes this, this self-fulfilling prophecy. Like first quarter, they give up a touchdown, guy comes in, shanks a kick and it's like, here we go again. But this is how many years can they do this? I feel bad for all 38 of their fans. I just don't think this is fair, but you know,

I don't, you think like he's okay, sir. Like that's a decent enough name to go after. It's not like they're, um, you know, they're going to a division three and trying to grab a guy who like, you know, the YouTube star or something with trick kicks and everything. Like they, they're okay. I just think they're cursed. I just think they're cursed. So you think this is an actual like part of their franchise?

It's like a haunted house. Don't do it anymore. So when you waved your kicker, why didn't the Chargers just go all in and make a giant move on him? He could have lived in LA. He could have been like the savior. He would have felt great about himself

that he was the Chargers kicker. So one of the things I learned. I think that's what happened. Well, the Vikings just happened to need one more that week. Right? Isn't that, they got Bailey. Wow, the Vikings just happened to need one more that week. Right? Isn't that? They got Bailey. Wow.

The Chargers should have had Bailey. How many kickers do you think have a job no matter how? Like, let's say every kicker in the league goes 0 for 4 next week. Yeah. How many definitely keep their job? Like six? Yeah, probably like eight. Yeah.

Isn't that something else? That's remarkable. The big winner every week is Justin Tucker. Oh, yeah. He just looks like, he's like the one rich guy in your neighborhood who just has the best house and the most cars and the media room in his basement and everybody else is jealous of him. That's Justin Tucker.

All the other field goal kickers are like, fuck. Jealous of that guy. Gould is good. Prater is good, I think. Gostkowski has been good. He's had a couple memorable misses over the years, but I think for the most part, he's been one of the most reliable. Obviously, Vinatieri, Bryant.

He just had the most kicks ever. But Crosby, there's not too many, though. Vinatieri had the most kicks ever? Yeah. Because he's... He broke it today, right? He's 48 years old. Unbelievable.

So one thing I learned was just don't pick the Chargers when they're a high favorite. Just don't do it to yourself. The other thing I learned... I don't want to be on that. Yeah. And I bet the Bears today.

I talked myself into them even with Trubisky. But I think we have to really start looking at them when they're home against teams that aren't great because their defense is so ridiculously good. I think it gives them, you know, today's a fluke.

Trubisky had the game of his life, and they, from the get-go, were just running it up. But that defense, when they get a lead, that defense can not only keep the lead, but add to the lead. So, you know, that line could have been Bears by eight and a half today, and they still are going to cover that. And I think that's something we should remember when they play

a couple shitty teams down the road at home. I agree. But here's the thing. Like, Vegas is going to adjust. Like, they had a minus three against Tampa, and you jumped on it, and I should have been right there with you. But even with 31 first-half fantasy points, I still don't trust Trubisky if they make him four at home.

Minus four? How many teams do you trust him against at minus four at home? Does it matter? Here's their schedule the rest of the way. Ironically, they played New England week seven. But like week eight, they played the Jets. They really don't have

any other easy home games. They have the rest of the way they have just the home games are the Patriots, the Jets, the Lions, Chargers,

Packers. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, that's not great. But maybe... Trubisky's not better than, I don't think, any of those quarterbacks you just named. Yeah, they play...

Well, so they play at San Francisco week 16. They have a bye week next week. They have Miami in Miami week six. But would you have... I guess it depends on how Mahomes would do tomorrow, but Mahomes and Khalil Mack have separated themselves. That was the MVP race. I can't remember the last time a defensive player has won an MVP,

but he's had such a massive impact on that team. And who could have predicted it? Who could have predicted that when you trade for one of the only seven players that matter in the NFL, that he would have a huge impact on your team? I did not see this coming. Oh, wait, all of us saw this coming. What about, we were looking at Goff and Gurley. Yeah, I think they split.

Or do they cancel each other out? I think they split the vote. Those guys are going to have phenomenal numbers. They're going to have monster, monster numbers at the end of the year if they stay healthy. We messed up, though, because we both love the Rams, and we talked extensively and openly about Gurley putting money in him for the MVP

because we figured somebody in the Rams could win the MVP. I don't ever remember us even mentioning Goff. I don't can't imagine what his odds were. They must have been at least like 75 to 1 right? Oh yeah I think like in the 50s 60s right in there. 50? Yep. And it's just like basically

you're betting on Goff you you bet on McVay. You're betting on McVay will win his quarterback, the MVP, doesn't matter who it is. Speaking of Rams coaches... Why wouldn't we think, like, Carson Wentz was well on his way

to winning an MVP last year, or close. Yeah, close. Why didn't we think that Goff would do the same with all the tools around him that he needs? Well, I mean,

think about our fantasy draft. I picked him as my third quarterback I think I spent $4 on him it wasn't like he was a hot property my third quarterback so you have four you say like it ends there you have four quarterbacks well one of them is Fitzpatrick

who I spent $35 on Jameis came in in the third quarter that didn't go well right that wasn't great I don't know what they did yeah it's not going to matter $25 on. Jameis came in in the third quarter. That didn't go well. Right. That wasn't great. I don't know what they did. Yeah, it's not going to matter. I thought Cutter would be like, all right, I have a bye week.

I don't have to decide between this nonsense for two weeks. But it's looking like Jameis when they get back. Not that it matters. Did you feel like we had a weird game today? A weird one? I thought there were six very good games. But, oh, just like one that shouldn't have been

yeah like a what the hell happened game I didn't feel like we had one yet which makes me wonder if it's Chiefs-Broncos tomorrow night oh tomorrow

yeah we had an ass full last week so maybe they're giving us a little bit of a break yeah there weren't too many big upsets it seemed like it seemed like

Niners-Chargers was on its way right and then the Chargers rallied back and... Tennessee's a nice little upset. Yeah, a nice little one. The Niners are getting points.

Of all the flip around on League Pass teams, I think Tennessee has been the most impressive for what it seems like their talent is, what our expectations have been of them week to week,

and just kind of, I'm always looking at this point after four weeks for teams that have some sort of identity, right? Which is why I still don't have a total feel for the Jags. Like, Bortles is up and down. One week, he's got six points. The next week, he's thrown for 380 in the Jets. I just don't trust him.

I think their defense is good. I don't think it's great. I think the Bears' defense is potentially great. But you go on down the line, and it's one of them. I think those are the two defenses, right? Bears and Jacks. Who else do you trust? I mean, the Rams.

I would say the Rams. I just feel like they don't have to play defense. It's more exciting when they don't. But they could step it up for sure. But those two, maybe three. See, I would put the Rams in there. I don't want to overreact to that Thursday game. They didn't have either corner.

Peters was playing hurt. Tlaib was out. It was a Thursday night. It was four days after. The Vikings had clearly scouted. They had prepared for the Rams and forgot to prepare for week three. But I think that was a bad matchup for them. I think I could see them, that defense, ramping it up as it goes along.

But when you talk about identities, you look around the league and at KC, they can score. The Chargers, they can put up points. The Ravens are a team that I felt like found their identity a little bit tonight. And it was already there. It was the same identity they've had for 12 years. But just a professional team. Guys know what they're doing. Well coached. Good special teams. They can make a couple big plays. I still don't love them, but they know who they are, I guess is my point.

And tough, too. Yeah, tough. All these AFC North teams are tough. And I don't know what that translates to when they play outside the North. They should beat teams up that aren't a little softer, but sometimes they don't get up for those games too. So from a betting perspective, it's hard to gauge which way they're going.

And the Browns know who they are too. They're a really fun team with a terrible coach. They know who they are. How about that though? You could say the refs screwed them twice. They did. Definitely once. That was a fumble I don't know what anybody saw there

it was a fumble maybe for a touchdown and the first down mark was short but how about them that they're just they're at I mean they had the ball up eight with a minute forty left against the Raiders against John Gruden and it was fourth and eight inches and they were eight inches from winning that game.

Difficult Brown. It was, I would have gone for it. I just feel like the Raiders were terrible. You can get a foot on them, you know? Mm-hmm. How about this? You do have carte blanche if you're Hugh Jackson. At this point, you have to realize that, right?

It's like, hey, if you go for it, what are they going to do, fire you? That's like the 750,000th worst thing you've done to this team. You're going to be fine. But they are fun to watch. I mean, there's Chubb. They have over 200 yards rushing between two guys with Hyde and Chubb.

I think I'm going to be interested in watching. That could be my new favorite division. I don't know. I enjoy the Browns as well. And Baker did a terrific job today, considering he's a rookie and he barely knows what he's doing. It can't be glossed over what a terrible throw that was at the end of regulation. Really bad.

Going for the home run ball. He's on the 50. You just need 20 more yards. You have enough time to make at least three more plays. And he just heaved it in. He tried to hero ball it and it was a mistake. But it's incredible. The Browns are 1-2-1

and could legitimately be 4-0. Right? The 2 and the 1 in that 1-2-1 were all they completely fucked up in those three games. Hugh Jackson. Exactly. Imagine if they had anybody else

as a coach. I just wonder what would happen. Kyle and I, I picked Nick Chubb in our fantasy league and waived him after a week. Kyle and I had Nick Chubb buried on our bench in the ringer fantasy league. Nick Chubb was kind of eye-opening today.

It was fun. He didn't have a lot of carries, though, right? He did not. He did not, but he did some stuff when he had the ball. Yeah, for sure. If they get him going on top of Baker and some of the plays. It's funny, though, that they gave up on Josh Gordon, but they've put all their eggs in the Callaway basket,

who was really good today. But it's like... was he really good? I mean, I guess he had a lot of, he had a couple of big plays. He tried, he had some drops too, or at least one big drop. He did, but he had us. One thing we have to do is we, we, I don't know why we didn't do it. And I did this with, uh, I did this with Darnold. When these rookies go on the road, they're going to throw an interception and it's only

like minus one 55. We got to jump on it. Baker had one, I think Rosen, well, he hasn't been on the road, they're going to throw an interception. And it's only like minus 155. We have to jump on it. Baker had one. I think Rosen hasn't been on the road yet, right? Darnold. What other rookie? Well, Beathard you could have had today. Like any of these guys. That's not bad. No.

I'm in on that. Your team. Did you feel like your season was over if you lost that game? I still feel like it's over. You feel like your season was over if you lost that game? Yeah, I still feel like it's over. I feel like it's over anyway. I think Matt Patricia showed his true colors.

I definitely know Jason Garrett that he burned two challenges in the first half on like third and short. So I was like, Oh, here we go. But Zeke couldn't help, but to have a big game again, like your team was the only one that didn't expose this,

this lions, uh, you know, Lions defensive run game. Yeah. They got a run defense. So, I mean, they put up giant numbers. The Niners put up giant numbers. The Jets put up giant numbers running against Detroit. But, yeah, leave it to the Cowboys to win but not cover.

I still think Dak is having trouble making a big throw in the red zone. That's what's going to come down there. Made one big play, though, at the end of the fourth quarter there. He did. Jeff Swaim. That was nice. It was classic when you're up three and settled for the field goal to go up six, leaving the door open for the Lions to go up by one, which they immediately did.

And then you had to go back and get the field goal. But it was. Don't you think you touched on it a little bit? Like, okay, so like they figured out stolen bases aren't a good way to go. Yeah. And they do like baseball. Ricky Henderson would have 110 and Vince Coleman, all these guys are like, hey, these guys could score from on a double.

Let's readjust. I think your thing is the same way. It's like, hey, there's too many pass interference calls. There's too many roughing the passer calls. We need to put up sevens instead of threes. That's the only way. It's like, hey, there's too many pass interference calls. There's too many roughing the passer calls. We need to put up sevens instead of threes. That's the only way. Don't you think there's going to be a switch for teams, not Jason

Garrett run teams, but real teams. Yeah, teams. Smarter teams. Savvier teams. I think that could happen. I actually thought of a way to solve overtime today. What is it? Okay, so overtime starts. What is it? Okay, so overtime starts.

No punts. First team that scores wins. So we're back to that. No punts. No punts. So you maybe don't take the ball then. Do you take the ball or you don't take the ball? No punts.

So it's fourth and eight. You got to go for it. You're on your own 22. Right. So if you're taking the ball You got to go for it. You're on your own 22. Right. So if you're taking the ball, you're going for it, man. You got to get that 40 to 50 yards to get into field goal range or the other team's going to score.

If the goal is to make the overtime go as fast as possible so that these guys aren't in the field for too long, no punts. Get rid of it. First team scores. Because they're in this no man's land now where every time there's an overtime, it goes for 10 minutes.

You notice that? There's no quick overtime. Oh, the game's over. It's always like, it takes- No, everyone's tentative. Yeah, we almost saw three scores in the Tennessee-Philly overtime. Yeah.

They take their time. The team that gets the ball, they try to have the long drive and you know, it's 45 minutes, but I would be up for just getting rid of punting. I think that would work. Yeah. This is Guantanamo ish,

but I thought they should make Oakland and Cleveland play until someone scored. Like, I was like, no, you guys settle this. You're that bad. You're going to, you're going to prove something to the fans here.

Playing at a baseball diamond. Speaking of that, yeah, I was just going to say, Cleveland purposely took that side. Oakland won the toss, and Cleveland's like, hey, you're kicking from second base, right? Yeah. That was smart. That was smart.

Huge compliment for Hugh Jackson. Hugh's thinking about baseball. That's what happens. It's great. We'll take that. Yeah. We'll make him kick from second base. Nephew Kyle and I watched Tony Romo

of Football Life on the NFL Network this weekend. Nephew Kyle's a lot younger than us. Did not remember a lot of the beats of the Tony Romo thing. On the cable guide, it was listed as sports. It really should have been listed

as horror like you would with The Exorcist or Halloween. I just forgot how tragic it was. Then on top of it, they interview his wife after the fifth straight year where something horrible happened to Tony Romo. Now she's crying

and talking about how tough it was. Then they go back to her later and she's sobbing again she cried it was an Emmy award winning performance by her it wasn't a performance I tried to explain to my wife that's what a supportive wife does

she didn't like it she took it as a dig against her but fine so be it she took that as a dig? when I was telling her what a supportive wife is like, yeah, she didn't like that. You should take some lessons. Yeah, something like that. You'd never cry about me?

No, I don't even need a few tears every now and then would be okay, right? Cousin Sal, football life, you don't think your wife would cry? Oh, no.. Oh no, no, no,

no. She'd be living in the big house and talking about what a scoundrel I was. Now I felt bad. In fact, I knew exactly what was coming and I was like, Oh, can we spend more time with him living in Wisconsin? Cause I know how this ends.

Yeah. And, uh, he's a great guy and great career and everything, but I forgot the injuries he played with. Forget about what took him out. Yeah. Yeah, the punctured lung was tough.

Yeah. Cousin Sal football life is, I would absolutely watch that. It'd be fantastic. It'd be great. Brad would be in it. Your wife would not be crying. You tell the story about with the Romo, the botched extra point,

and you went to see Blood Diamond and you cried that night. You'd be crying as you told the Blood Diamond story, but your wife would just be eyes. Yeah, we may have to have a DiCaprio in to speak on it too. In a South African accent. Because it's how football life, they're going to run out of these eventually. At some point, you should be in these. You can talk about your bad beats, your greatest bets. 65 years when it doesn't matter.

Which Giants-Pats game did you get killed by? Which Super Bowl? Was it the 07 one? All of them? Both of them? Both of them. One of them, you had the- Well, the Giants-Pats-Rams was the one that killed me.

Oh. That was the one. That's the one where I told Jimmy, who was making Fox picks, and it was his last year. I was like, ah. And he didn't pick against the spread. I was just like, take the Patriots to win. What were they, 12, 13 point on their own?

Yeah. Were they that high? Yeah, 14, I think. He's like, really? I said, yeah, yeah. Just take them to win. So they win. We're at the game.

We're all at the game. Finn and Terry right through the uprights. He looks over at my head and my hands. I was, he's like, what are you talking about? You told me to take the Patriots. I said,

I had 10 grand on the Rams money line, which was a lot of money back then. Yeah. Speaking of money, let's do a week five right after this break. Let's take a break to talk about our friends at Rocket Mortgage by Quicken Loans, America's premier home purchase lender. Let's talk about buying a home.

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Equal Housing Lender, licensed in all 50 states, NMLS, consumeraccess.org, number 3030. Again, rocketmortgage.com slash Bill Simmons. All right. Week five. That'd be good. Cousins' town football life should happen.

I would totally watch that. I would hope to be interviewed for it. Thursday night, Patriots home for the Colts. I went from just being traumatized, upset, sad, hurt by the end of the Patriots dynasty, which it has to end at some point. Everything ends. Really worried about the Miami game.

Bet on Miami. I might have tried to buy the win a little bit I'm not going to lie all of a sudden now Friday morning the Pats could be 3-2 that could happen home Thursday night hosting the Colts I like this Colts team I think every

game they've either hung around or looked really good they're not bad that's for sure and I think the Pats are going to be favored by too many points. I have Pats by seven and a half. Oh, more than that, my friend. I said nine and they have it as 10.

That's ridiculous. No, why is it ridiculous? Colts can't go on the road yet and stay within a touchdown, right? They can move the ball, though. Like Miami, once they fell behind, Tannehill couldn't move the ball because he's Tannehill. But Luck can play from behind, and I don't know.

That's a lot of points. Is there any ill will? Do the Patriots need to smack them around a little more for Deflategate, or is that over with? I'm trying to think. Is little more for Deflategate or is that over with? I'm trying to think. Is anybody left from Deflategate? I think everybody's gone. Even Bob Kravitz is gone. Bob Kravitz is gone. Ryan Grigson's gone.

Jim Irsay doesn't know where he is. Irsay's still there, yeah. Hench had some classic text today in the first half when Brady wasn't looking good. Oh, he's the best. He was he sent one text like, tell Guerrero to take care of this right now. Pull Brady aside.

Pull him in the blue tent. But yeah, everything's fine. What was the more recent one? It was also a Thursday night game, I think, when the Colts lined up, they had like three, just had the center and the quarterback, and they ran a play. Everyone else was spread out.

Oh, yeah. That was a couple years ago. That was great. It's nice history between these teams. Yeah, there really is. It's fun. It hasn't worked out lately, but there is a little bit of history. I wish the old GM was still there. I think he's like a talk show guy now or something. All right.

So you think that gets to nine or that stays at 10? I don't know. I don't know where this Colts money is coming from. Okay. Maybe it gets to nine and a half. The Patriots have been six and a half three of the last four weeks. They've gone six and a half, teetered around six and a half, seven, and Vegas hasn't really

gotten slammed for it. So I'm surprised they're making it this high. I am excited to have Edelman back, and I think he's going to make a big difference. It's been amazing that the Pats are even able to score points at all without a traditional slot receiver because that's been Brady's... Did Gronk play? I mean, I'm 0-4

in our fantasy league, and God bless you. I deserve every loss, but I spent $30 on Gronk. You see guys like Cook on the Raiders who are much more valuable for a dollar. What a story. You might have been better off taking that $30

and setting it on fire, unfortunately. I could still do it. He just looks like an old car that has a lot of miles on fire, unfortunately. I could still do it. He just looks like an old car that has a lot of miles on it, unfortunately. What he really needs is, he needs Alex Guerrero, needs to step it up with him.

I think Alex Guerrero or Paul Heyman from the WWE. Something needs to happen. That's their next stop, right? Or they need to move to, they might need to move to a Brock Lesnar schedule with him where he only plays like once a month in big games, and that's it.

Just sits the rest of the time. Sunday, marquee game. What did you have for this out of curiosity? Let me look here. It's between Jacksonville, Kansas City. Man, I love Atlanta. Atlanta, Pittsburgh's fun, but not necessarily marquee. So I had that as...

It's got to be those two, right? Yeah, I had Steelers-Falcons as the marquee game because this will be the week when... It's going to be a week of, is Roethlisberger done? What should they do about Le'Veon Bell? What's going on with them? Has Mike Tomlin lost the team? All that shit's going to be a week of, is Roethlisberger done? What should they do about Le'Veon Bell? What's going on with them? Has Mike Tomlin lost the team? All that shit's going to happen.

And then on the Falcon side, how are they one and three? What's going on with this team? It's almost like a car crash game. You can't look away. And there's a lot of fun guys on both sides of the ball. Neither team can stop the other. It has 80-point potential. What do you think the over is?

The over for this game has to be like 55-56, I would guess. Yeah, I think so. I think tonight was 54, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this has to be like 56-57, something like that. And I got to say, there are no must wins in the first weekend in October, but if you're the Falcons, you can't go one and four. You just can't.

That's not acceptable. I think 10 wins in the NFC, you have to have 10 to make the playoffs this year. If they lost that, they'd have to go nine and two the rest of the way to even potentially make the playoffs. Big one for them. Then on the

flip side with the Steelers. This would be bad. But if Pitt lost their second home game in a row, that's rough too. And I know they have a tough schedule. I know they play the AFC North all back-to-back coming up. Yeah. Oh, they play Atlanta.

Then they're at Cincy. They play the Browns at the Ravens. And then like versus the Panthers and then at the Jaguars. Doesn't let up for them yeah so if they lost they'd be 1-3-1 and as you said really no easy games left I'm looking

I'm going through right now is there well listen nothing's an easy game they tied the freaking Browns what could you list as an easy game for them I get at Oakland is the easiest game they have left so I think the Bengals for them. I get at Oakland is the easiest game they have left. I feel like they lose that game sometimes.

I think the Bengals should have been the best team in this division, but it looks like they might be snakebit again. Eifert, he's done now. Not a great... That's huge because he was starting to play well and that was a nice weapon. Not a great replay injury either because he was starting to play well and that was a nice weapon not a great replay injury either

no not a good one not one of my favorites it was one of those ahhh injuries hate those you know it's bad

when um when the guys in the other team are coming over for the helmet tap mhm but when you

when you hear but don't see like if you read on twitter like uh Tyler Ireford suffers a gruesome leg injury. I have to look. Do you search for it?

Or when it's on, you're like, all right, I'll watch. No, I get it over with. I go and search for it. Oh, really? I search Twitter. I do the video search on Twitter for Eifert injury, and then I just get it over with. You're a sick, sick man.

I don't want to be surprised by it. I want to watch it on my terms. I like to watch football tragedies on my terms. I just like to get it over with. Oh, well, good. Then you'll love my football life. The one that dedicated me. Because it's our football life.

I have Steelers at home minus 2.5 over the Falcons. You're going to get this. I went way high. I said 5.5 because I just thought, you know what? I did it before the game also, but tonight, but it's three and a half. So you win that one. It's a little too high. I guess that defense is going to be fun.

I'm glad it's not November where it's cold and these receivers have trouble getting open and everything. I'm glad it's first week in October. Could see some points. The one thing the Falcons can do for as bad as their defense has been is at least get pressure. But there's a chance that they just might have played really good offenses a few weeks in a row.

And even once they get by the Steelers game, I think they just had bad luck with their schedule the first few weeks. They have other issues. I don't think it gets easier for them much either. Because the Bengals are a legitimately good offensive team this year for whatever reason. Sure. I don't know how long it's going to last. Sure. Watchables. Kansas City home for the

Jags. I have the Chiefs laying five and a half against the Jags. I said five and a half against the Jags. I said five, and they went low. Vegas did. They say three and a half. Now, I'm going to love this game if the Chiefs blow it tomorrow.

Aren't you? Here on the flip side, what if the Chiefs win by like 20 tomorrow? What happens to the sign? Man, I'm not going to love it as much. See, isn't that stupid? They'll solidify themselves as one of the top, if not the top team, but I'll still not like it as much at three and a half. This is a big night for Mahomes.

There's been, and rightfully so, Mahomes mania the last three weeks, but he hasn't had the national spotlight game. Has he? I don't think he's just been Sunday afternoons. Yeah, that's true so that's true this is a nice one for him

Chargers home for the Raiders I have this as in the watchables the second one of the watchables sure I gotta say

I enjoy the Raiders I like seeing Gruden on the sidelines making fun of him I love the fact that they don't have a pass rush because they traded Khalil Mack for the season for reasons that are made unclear.

They have some skill guys. Marshawn Lynch is really kind of beast mode-y. It's hilarious. He's not giving up. He's not giving up, that's for sure. I thought his career was going to be over. I think Carr's been flinging the ball and looking at least a little bit like the guy from two years ago?

Is there a bigger discrepancy from the bad version of a quarterback to a good version of a quarterback than there is with Derek Carr? Yeah, Blake Bortles. I almost said David Carr. Blake Bortles. Oh, I guess so, yeah.

It's getting close now, though. It really is. Sometimes you're like, how did Carr throw that? But that's ridiculous at this point that he's still throwing that pass. And then you're like, oh, unbelievable. Jordy Nelson's lucky to have him as a quarterback. We should mention the Raiders tied the game on a two-point at the tail end on the worst play in football, the fade pass into the end zone to Jordy Nelson.

It's just horrible. I thought they'd review it because he did a nice job, but to catch his feet, he also let go of the ball for a second and then pinned it back against his chest, but they already were set to kick off. Weird. He got interfered with nine times on the play. The ball hit his helmet before it hit his hands,

and he held on to it. In my opinion, still the worst play in football. I don't even care if he caught it. It's the Browns. Everybody figures, well, I know it's a bad play, but we're up against the Browns here. So when it's 30% chance, we just got a shot up to 70. The Raiders, four straight weeks,

they have either had a chance to win, had the lead, came back, but they've been in all these games, which I don't think either of us expected. We have a pretty sizable wager on the Raiders under. It bothers me a little that they're not that awful. I should worry about this. They have very solid teams in that division, right? I mean, they're going to lose three out of four to San Diego and KC, I think.

I would not have them in my bottom five. No. Yeah, I guess we don't cross that. Who have we crossed off through four weeks? Let's do it right now. It's just Arizona? No, we have to cross off. We have to do one every week.

Oh, we do? Yeah, that's the rule. Oh, I don't think we're going to get to, can we get to four already? Yes. Okay. Arizona, Buffalo,

right? Buffalo. Yeah. Buffalo. There's we, those are gone already. We'd got rid of those. I see.

Okay. Well, do we want to say goodbye to the jets? Um, yeah. Oakland or both. I don't want to say goodbye to Oakland yet we need four though

I think they've lingered San Francisco San Francisco and the Jets I'd like to cross off San Francisco for my fourth team wow here are your choices Colts, Jets, Lions

I guess Browns Um Fuck Giants Raiders We can't cross off the Jets? Yeah no we can't That's who I had initially

Let's cross off the Jets Yeah because Yeah Cause they lost the division already Yeah So there you go Those four Are the Raiders worse than the Giants? Let's cross off the Jets. Yeah, because they lost the division already. Yeah. So there you go. Those four.

Are the Raiders worse than the Giants? If they played on a neutral field. No, they're not worse. They're not worse. I don't think they're worse. We only have to do four. But we're welcoming the Giants. We're ready for the Giants next week.

Let's just warn them. But I'm saying if they're not worse than the Giants, then they're not one of the five worst teams in the league because we already crossed off four. And I'll tell you another thing. I'm not sure they're worse than the Texans. The Giants? Well, they beat them, right? No, I'm not sure the Raiders are worse than the Texans.

Oh, I know. I think you can make a case they're the seventh worst team, which is kudos to John Gruden. He knows what he's doing, man. Gotcha. Great job by him. What are the odds that John Gruden makes it to Vegas? Minus 220?

He's making it. They haven't been the train wreck we expected. We have to hand it to them. He could quit. He could just take off. He could say, screw this. That's too much money. You see, they're sending him $10 million a year.

Minus 240, I'll say. Let's take a quick break then we'll finish the rest of the lines. One more break to talk about our buddies at SimpliSafe Home Security.

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Once again, simplisafe with two I's dot com slash BS. All right, we're back and we forgot to finish Chargers Raiders. I have a, did we finish that? I guess Chargers by eight. Oh, no. Yeah, we didn't finish that. All right, you're going to get this. I said minus nine.

Six and a half. Yeah, I'm telling you, the Raiders. A little frisky. They take a point off because it's a division rivalry, which is stupid, but we did make a pack. We're not laying big points with the Chargers anymore. I beg to differ. They didn't take a point

away. They took three points away for the missed field goal that whoever the Chargers kicker is going to miss. That has to be figured in at some point, right? A half point, something? Maybe more. Maybe this should be Chargers nine and a half and they just remove the missed field goal and it goes to six and a half.

That said, I will say this. If there's one offensive play that as a defense I don't want to have to go up against, it's that sidearm middle screen pass from Rivers to Melvin Gordon. I just feel like that's a seven-yard gain every time. I think I have a team I'd rather cross off than the Jets. What happened? Who?

We left out somebody that just looks like a walking zombie. The Seattle Seahawks oh I would rather cross them off than the Jets they're 2-2 2-2 but it could go 2-10 in 8 weeks

right they play the Rams let's wait let's wait because when the Rams lay a smackdown on them, then we can gladly say goodbye to them. You sure?

Well, again, instead of the Jets, you don't think they beat the Jets this week if they played them? All right. So 10 wins to make the NFC playoffs. They're going home for the Rams, home for Oakland, bye week at Detroit, home for the Chargers, at the Rams, home for Green Bay, at Carolina, home

San Francisco, home Minnesota, at San Francisco, home KC, home Arizona. None of these teams are making the playoffs, but we have to stick with the ceremonial part of this, right? Yeah, all right.

Let's stay with the Jets. I think Seattle's terrible. So that the Bills and Jets are safe crossouts at this point. Yeah, Seattle's terrible, though. Let's not sleep on that. We're ready for them. We're ready for the Giants. Whoever wants to join.

Losing Earl Thomas isn't great either. The barely watchables. You know, screw that. I'm putting this in the Giants. You know, whoever wants to join. Losing Earl Thomas isn't great either. The barely watchables. You know, screw that. I'm putting this in the watchables after what the Ravens did today.

Cleveland at home against Baltimore. Oh, yeah. This is fun. I don't know if you know this, Sal, but Baltimore used to be Cleveland.

Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. They moved to Baltimore. Oh. Not a lot of people know that. Mayflower Van? Oh, is that something else? Yeah. They moved to Baltimore. Oh. Yeah. Not a lot of people know that. Mayflower Van?

Oh, is that something else? No, no. People don't. I don't know. People forget. People forget that that happened. I have a... Great testimony. I can't believe I'm doing this.

No, I'm not going to do it. I get the... Well, let me just say, you're going to be closer than I am. Whatever you say right now, you're going to be closer than I was. I'm going to go Ravens by one and a half. Wow. What the fuck? What?

I said seven, and it's two and a half. Oh. I almost wanted to make the Browns favorites in that game, but the Ravens look good tonight. Okay. So even at two and a half, you said one and a half. Browns are good. They have good football players.

Nephew Kyle, isolate that sound drop right there. They have a terrible coach, but they have a lot of talent. Well, that's part of not being good, that you can't finish games. That has to be factored in. They're not. My point is they're not a doormat, and they're going to be home. Their crowd is going to be losing their fucking minds for Baker. I don't know. That's going to be a tough game.

That's a tough win for Baltimore coming off the Sunday nighter. I'm going to be rooting for the Browns. I like Baltimore's offense today. I don't know. I guess it's the same. I'll tell you something magical has happened with the Browns. You had the ball

over four times today, didn't he, Baker? Everyone calm down a little bit. Stats are irrelevant. And he threw the terrible pass at the end that all he had to do was do two 10-yarders. It's fine. He's super fun to watch. He really is.

He's incredibly fun to watch. It's fun to have the Browns even be frisky. It's really fun when they're at home. I love the Hugh Jackson part of this. I love every sideline shot of him. I love when him and Todd Haley are pretending to have a conversation. I love the hard knocks history. They are my team of the year through four games.

Unbelievable. They are my league pass team of the year. I really enjoy the Browns. Who's been more fun than the Browns this year? They made Thursday night fun. You know what's going to be great? When they're 1-7-1 and you refuse to cross them off.

Don't you think we should cross off the Vikings? No, no. The Browns. They're eliminated. They're actually eliminated from the playoffs. They're going to be 1-4-3 after eight weeks. Headed for 4-7-5. I don't know how you get excited from the playoffs. They're going to be one, four, and three after eight weeks. Headed for four,

seven, and five. I don't know how you get excited about betting them plus two and a half. They need to get three points or more, don't they?

I'm not alone with my excitement for the Browns. I refuse to be pigeonholed. My entire staff is more excited for this Browns thing than anything else

happening in football right now, except for Mahomes. Mahomes is his own football positive tsunami. But the Browns thing, it's just, they've been so bad for so long. They've made our lives miserable for so long. They've just been the turd in the punch bowl of every league past Sunday. And now they're fun. Browns Raiders, even a year ago, is the worst game of the weekend. And it was super fun. I enjoyed it. It's okay to be fun. It's okay.

But they have a loser coach who's going to put them in loser situations and guarantee that they lose. That's it. They're fun for three and a half quarters. And then you're getting two and a half and they lose by three. You're like, oh, what the hell did I just do? That's the Browns. All right.

They beat the jets. So let's see him do a little something more. I mean, today was typical of them. If anything, you look at it and be like, Oh no, same old Brown.

That's how I see it. Would you rather have Hugh Jackson or Jason Garrett? I got to think about that. I really don't know. Oh man. I really don't know. Oh, man. I really don't know. Yeah, that's tough. Get back. Answer that one next week.

I'll give you one more week to answer that one. All right. Lions Packers in Detroit. Matthew Stafford did it again. Another wonderful fantasy day at another loss. I don't know how he does it. Aaron Rodgers, really salty after the Green Bay game. Super pissy about the offense.

Just wasn't happy about a lot of stuff. I will say he was moving better this week. Didn't you think? He looked better. He looked better. Yeah, whatever's going on. That's what you should do. That's a respectable score when you're hosting the Bills. 22-0. I think that's what you should do. Take note, Vikings. The unsatisfying

22-0 I started Allison this week in fantasy over Keenan Allen because Keenan Allen had the red medical flag next to him and then his injuries were knee and tooth the tooth thing freaked me out so I sat him

and Allison had like 80 yards but also dropped a few passes right yeah they look good they're alright And Allison had like 80 yards, but also dropped a few passes. Right. Yeah, they look good. They're all right. They had like six sacks, I think, right? Josh Allen was not.

That guy, Sackrell, had three. Sackers are back, I think. You make them a favorite in this game? We do this every year. We go backwards and we say there's like five games a year that were just so weird and so stupid. You just have to throw them out. I think we have to throw out Bills Vikings and go back to our original premise

that the Bills are a train wreck. Yeah. They threw us off the scent last week, it happens. But I don't think we can lose. Where are you? I was arguing with the locking in people on this about there being tape on a quarterback. How important do you think that is? Like with Joe, well now there's tape on a quarterback. How important do you think that is?

Like, well, now there's tape on Josh Allen, so they're going to eat him up. There's been tape on Josh Allen. Like, they didn't, you know, the Bills didn't draft him from a LinkedIn request, or, like, you know, they didn't get his part.

I don't understand. Like, why is this a hard thing? There's been tape of him throwing into double coverage now, dating back to his college days. Yeah. He played preseason. There's a lot going on with him. Yeah.

The tape thing, I don't think it's like a baseball pitcher that came up from AAA that everybody has to see for a couple months and then figure out some pitch tipping. Josh Rosen's Instagram stories and his bar mitzvah tape have really, it's an eye-opener for Seattle. Pete Carroll was able to capitalize. Bar mitzvah tape. So I had the Lions one and a half. What'd you have?

Oh, wow. I can't even do the math on this. I said Green Bay minus two and a half. Actually, it's Green Bay minus one.5, so I'll get that. Yeah, that's stupid. The Lions should be favored. These are basically the same caliber of team, I think. You don't think?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess offensively. They're the same team. Lions are home. More important game for the Lions. Tough. You get to run for the Lions. Tough. You get to run against the Lions.

Jones and Williams could maybe emerge and help Aaron Rodgers out. It's probably a stay away. Since he's home for the Dolphins, since he's 7.5, I do... Oh, wow. That's my prediction.

And I will say that I've enjoyed betting on the Bengals all season I really enjoy putting them in a teaser I was going to say and it's five and a half so you get that yeah I get that

I mean one team looks like a three in one team and one looks like a one in three team right I'm in on the Bengals I will absolutely tease them. Excited to do that. I wish it was rainy. I wish this game was in November. Tannehill didn't have a shot. I can't believe he was

10-1 in the last 11 starts before this Patriots game. Yeah, he was really... He really just bought into all the nonsense. Kyle, have we seen a worse quarterback? Than Tannehill? I don't think so. We were laughing when he was going back to nonsense. Kyle, have we seen a worse quarterback? Than Tannehill? I don't think so. Bradford? We were laughing when he was going back to pass.

Yeah, I know. He was so bad. I mean, it's almost like he had one of those games where he should have said afterwards that he had a migraine, but he played through it. Yeah. It's bizarre. This is his seventh year. What an experiment. Another teaser game.

Panthers at home playing the Giants. And the Giants, it's just bad times. That's just such a boring offense, right? Everything's third and long. They're not using Barkley right. Enough with the screens to Barkley. It's really... Eli will be like 22 for 26 and they'll have no points. I don't know.

I don't like this team. It's like playing Madden with my son when he picks the Giants because they have Barkley and Beckham and then just spends the game trying to get them the ball, but the other team knows what he's doing. That's what it's like to watch the Giants.

Yeah, they're running like what the 49ers offense should be. I have Panthers by six and I think this is a tease candidate as well. I have Panthers by six, and I think this is a tease candidate as well. I think we split this, right? I said seven, and it's six and a half. Yeah.

And then the third tease candidate, and I really hope this line doesn't go higher than the number I'm going to guess, but the Rams are at Seattle. I think this could be your lock it in Friday. This could be your big bet. I have the Rams by seven. I think it gets up to like nine by game time. Wow.

Well, I guessed nine and it is seven. So you get that exactly. Oh, well, we should probably seem like very long ago when Seattle was favored by like Seattle was favored by seven or nine at home against the Rams, right? A couple of years? Oh, yeah. But this division, it's a merry-go-round. One year, this team's the best.

The next year, this team's the best. It's really the torch passing in this division has been pretty crazy. I think as soon as we finish this podcast, we should tease the Rams with like five games. Well, here's why we should. Because McVay, we talk about always like, oh, three days extra to prepare. That doesn't matter for a lot of coaches.

McVay is the best. And Wade Phillips is excellent. And so those three days will matter. And the Seahawks do not have a lot of talent and lost Disley today and Earl Thomas. I don't want this to be a situation where 25 years from now when my son has been gambling for a while and he looks at me and he goes, Dad, when the Rams went 16-0 and McVay put up 700 points before he turned him, before he ran for president in 2020. Did you bet on them every week? And I don't want to have to look them in the eye and say that I didn't.

You could probably lie. I'll hide my pad. I bet four of the first five weeks, Ben, but not all five. All right. Any chance of them going undefeated? I think I saw nine to one. Really? Yeah.

I'm going to quickly... I'll check it. I'll check it. But I think I saw the 8 or 9-1. Yeah, the injury part is just... So here's the rest of the way. I know, but there's automatic wins in that division all over the place. Here's their gauntlet, though.

The next three weeks are at Seattle, at Denver, at San Francisco. Home for Green Bay, at New Orleans, home Seattle, home KC, at Detroit, at Chicago. And that's a Sunday 1 o'clock, December 9th game. Home Philly. Where is Rams KC? That's great. Where is that one?

That is an ESPN game, Monday, November 19th. Is it here? It's in LA, yeah. We should Where is that one? That is an ESPN game, Monday, November 19th. Is it here? It's in LA, yeah. We should go to that one. I'm almost thinking we should go to that. I would never suggest going to a game and seeing it live. That would be fun. Then at Arizona home, San Francisco.

I think they lose. I don't see them going undefeated. Of course they should lose. No, that would be hard to win all... They have four monster games on that schedule that I think

would be tough to... Well, here's what's going to suck and also for fantasy owners who have them, they could be... What if they're 13-0? You know they're sitting

with one of the last three, right? They'll have everything clinched, probably. McVay seems like the kind of guy to me that would just go for it. I think he... I really think he's... I think he's wired the same way Belichick is. I thinkay seems like the kind of guy to me that would just go for it. I really think he's

wired the same way Belichick is. I think he's like a innovation history guy. I think if they're 13-0, I don't see him sitting dudes. Alright, let's look into this bet then. Let's see what it is. Poop fact, I got three games. Titans at Bills.

I have the Titans favored by three. Classic trap game. Titans getting a little Mike Vrabel momentum. People crossing off the Bills again. A little scary, but I still like the Titans, and I got Titans by three. We split this.

I said Titans by four. I don't believe anything in the Bills. It's three and a half. Classic. Let's go to Buffalo where Josh Allen has it going today. Oh, man. Don't let me bet on this. Jets, Broncos, Jets home.

And we don't know. The Broncos might lose by 40 points on Monday night. Who the hell knows what's going to happen with them. I get the Jets by one. Ooh. No? Let me do some. No, yeah, you got it. I'm the oneets by one. Ooh. No? Let me do some quick. No, yeah, you got it.

I'm the one who screwed that up. I said Denver by two and a half. This all depends on tomorrow, but it's Jets by two and a half. Oh. Should we have crossed out the Jets? You know what? I wasn't thinking. Denver, cross country, short week.

Yeah, that's... It's a good trap game or whatever did we make a mistake crossing off the Jets if our life depended on it would you cross them off I think that

once it's crossed off there's nothing we could do yeah alright they're crossed off they're crossed off because of the Patriots not because of home against Denver

well it's week 5 and this is the poopfecta game of the year. It's going to be a hard one to top. We might be able to top it, but it's going to be hard. 49ers at home. Take it on the Cardinals. Just not a lot going on here, Sal. It's a shame one of these two teams has to win this game.

CJ Beathard. Actually, they don't. They could tie. CJ Beathard, I think he broke like seven ribs on that hit today. Oh, man. He's ready to play again. That was like a Drew Bledsoe, Mo Lewis hit. Yeah, he came in.

I don't know how he came back from that. The cards are a mess. And I'm going to try not to watch even one minute of this. I'm trying to think, what would be a worse poop-fecta game than this? Bill's Cardinals? Bill's Cardinals is the worst game we could have.

That's the worst one we could have. Kyle reminded me we skipped a game from the Watchables, Eagles-Vikings. Wait, did we pick a line for this? We didn't do a line. We almost skipped this one. Yeah.

I didn't. I have four... I'm skipping games. 49ers, three and a half is my pick. We didn't do a lot. We almost skipped this one. Yeah. I didn't. I have four. I'm skipping games. 49ers, three and a half is my pick. All right. I said four, and it's four and a half. So that's mine. All right.

That's offensive. All mine. That's offensive. The 49ers should not be favored by over four against anybody. That's ridiculous. If you watch this game, there's something wrong with you. If you bet it, it's time to get your head checked out.

The only thing I want to bet on is will Dick Stockton do this game? I'm going to say yes. He might bring a nephew in to do it. Joe Staley's out. Mike McGinn is out. I don't know what's going to happen with this game. Do you know Dick Stockton died nine years ago and he's entirely CGI?

Is that right? Yeah. Who's he married to? He's married to someone. He's not married to anybody. He died nine years ago. Oh, he's dead. He's CGI Dick Stockton.

I'm telling you, when they show him, just, you know, CGI is amazing stuff. You look at the social network with the Winklevoss twins, what they do with Armie Hammer, what Fox has done with Dick Stockton. It's incredible. Technology is incredible these days. I hope he's not a fan of ours.

I really don't. I'm guessing he's not. I don't think he's listening. I don't think he's listening to the pod. Eagles-Vikings we forgot to do. That's in Philly. Philly is right on pace for my prediction for them two, three weeks ago where they're going to look like shit for a while.

They're going to linger around, and then come Thanksgiving, they're going to get their shit together. I think this looks like a classic lose the game at home, everybody goes nuts and writes them off, and then they rally. I have Eagles by three and a half. You're going to get it. I shorted them a little. I said Eagles by one. It is three. And yeah, I think, by the way, Dick Stockton, he's on his second wife now. Married to Leslie Visser, 1983

to 2010. Well, that means they divorced and or they weren't married after 2010. Well, that means they divorced or they weren't married after 2010. When you claim he passed away, yeah. Well, you didn't refute my theory. No, I know. You're right. If they stop being married in 2010,

then I'm still in play. If you want to send a card to his beloved, those are the women he's married to. What a scandal that would be if Dick Stockton was being CGI'd and they were hiding it from us. That would be the best sports kid over the year. He has to come in.

Dick Stockton, you're invited to come on the pod if you have an LA game. There you go. By the way, Dick Stockton would be a great podcast. I should do that. Dick Stockton, you're invited if you're not CGI'd. I can turn it down now. CGI'd Dick Stockton or. Dick Stockton, you're invited if you're not CGI. CGI Dick Stockton or real Dick Stockton? Come on. You're in. Sunday night.

Oh no, Sal, your team's playing on Sunday night. Oh, it's the first coach fired bowl. Yes. This is it, right? Oh my God. I mean, how much better would it have been if one or both of them had lost this week and And easily could have. So how would they do this in wrestling?

This would be... The handshake? They'd have to play again next week, too. This would be the regular match. And then they'd play the next week. It would be what they call a... Texas death match or something? Texas death match.

No disqualification. The first coach fired. Whoever loses, you're fired. Yeah, that's it. The handshake, they just walk sadly to the tunnel. Yeah. I have Houston by three over Dallas. I have these teams like dead even in my head

in a really mediocre section of whatever my power pool is. Yeah, you beat me this week already. So I said, I said Dallas minus one and a half. I thought they'd get the Vegas juice back. That's absurd. But it is Houston minus three and a half. You have to give the hook. God, you should have,

you should be suspended from locking in for a day for that, for that homer. I know, it's bad. That's really awful. Vegas doesn't believe in it. You thought Jason Garrett and the Cowboys were going to be favored on the road on a Sunday night game against somebody that's not a bottom five team. It was dumb. I'm just not that impressed with Deshaun.

Yeah, now you know what? Their defense is, Watt had two sacks, Clowney had two sacks. The Cowboys are in trouble. I will say this was the first game ever for Houston, home Sunday night against Dallas. Dallas was laying six, and Houston beat them outright. Deshaun looked a little more Deshaun-y today. I guess.

It seemed like a lot of that came in the fourth quarter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I mean, though. He started to look like Deshaun. Yeah. Monday night. I guess. I think he had almost 50 yards rushing, too.

It was good. Monday night, Saints-Redskins. I guess. I think he had almost 50 yards rushing too. It was good. Monday night, Saints Redskins. I had no idea. I feel like I get paid to do this for a living, and I feel like I'm on the ball for the most part. I had no idea Drew Brees was this close to Peyton Manning's record. Peyton Manning just broke that record. I know.

That's phenomenal. He's like 500 yards away. Poor Peyton Manning. He acted like he was the first man on Mars when he broke that Brett Favre record. And then Breeze is just zooming by him now. Amazing. Right. Well, it took him three years to get those 500.

The last three years to get those last 500 yards, I think. But he's ahead by about 500 yards. And some shipments. Sunday night, or Monday night, New yeah, he's ahead by five, about 500 yards. And some shipments. Sunday night or Monday night, New Orleans home against Alex Smith and the Redskins of Washington. I feel like the Redskins haven't played in three weeks, but. I wish it was three more weeks. I have the Saints by seven. The Redskins alone in first place in the NFC East, right?

Yeah, that's ludicrous. Yeah, you got it exactly. I said six. I guess seven is right. I don't know. Washington might be the team you don't bet or bet against this year. I love the NFL and their continuing effort to just be

complete idiots. The Redskins have a bye week last week and then don't play again until Monday night. They get 15 days off and yet other teams will play the Sunday late game and then Thursday three and a half days later. Is there a stupider league than this? I don't think so.

Can't Washington go to London or something? This is quite a break for them. The Saints continue to kind of grind it out and they're still kicking and they're now 3-1 and I don't feel good

about the 3-1 I don't feel like they've been running on all cylinders but it seems like when they have to make a play they make a play and I think that's a good sign you could have playmakers. Like the Giants have Elbow Beckham Jr., but he could disappear for two weeks

or three out of four weeks or something. Alvin Kamara is just going to score every week, it seems. He's going to have a big game. Or Michael Thomas, he had 38 receptions in three weeks. He's going to have a big game. They got gamers. He doesn't screw around. And they get Ingram back this week, right? eight receptions in three weeks. He's going to have a big game. They got gamers. He doesn't screw around. No.

And they get Ingram back this week, right? Yeah. So your bye week teams are the Bears and the Bucks. Yep. Who play each other. All right, hold on. Parent Corner coming up. We got to take one more break.

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We should have known. I feel like we were true patriots because we could have just profited off of the crappy matchups and pairings. And oh my God. I mean, some of this stuff today, my poor dad was visiting, was getting up at like five in the morning to watch in the mornings and, uh, these pairings and just like, you just

see the matchup and be like, oh, we won't win that one. Oh, Molinari. Oh, he's absolutely going to win that. And I have no, why weren't we betting this? What were we doing? I did bet it. And I bet the U S and I was psyched because they had like 11 ranked players in the top 20 or so it was like the most ever I got swept up by all the fervor and I lost and like I pointed out to you there was so many chances to like after that first session on Friday was it

they were plus 130 still Europe was only minus 150 even though like a four game or point lead whatever it is. Yeah, we screwed this up. House was telling us how bad Phil Mickelson was playing. So bad, right?

And we had all these chances to bet against him. And he was like never even remotely into it. And then they lose the cup. They concede it because on Mickelson, they were going to lose anyway. But then he hits the tee shot in the water on the par three, and that was it. But, God. Mickelson, I think, is the...

Let's say the ringer has a Christmas party. You know someone's going to be... You know there's a wild card. Not in a funny way, but you have to invite them. That's Nicholson? Yeah. The respect one? Yeah.

Here's my challenge to you. Cause both of us watched way more golf than I think we've ever watched before. And we definitely dabble in the golfing and our friend house who has been really dead on all year with his analysis. And if you like, if you like betting on golf, I would highly recommend the shack house podcast.

Definitely. But, uh, I think next year we really step it up. I would really like to become much more actively involved in the golf wagering scene. I'm right there, buddy. I'm doing it. Yeah, I know you're doing it, but I want in.

I really want to. All right, we're pulling you in. I want to go balls deep on this. We're pulling you in. Now, does that affect the Tiger and Phil? People will have short memories. There'll still be a monster pay-per-view, you think? No.

I actually... It won't be. If Phil's not playing well, it won't. I don't think it's that interesting. I don't think it's... Watching two rich guys try to take... You know, try to battle for money when they're both ridiculously rich already.

I don't... I really feel like they need some wrinkles. It'd be better if they battle for all the money, right? They should, it should be. One of us has to become, one of us is destitute if we lose.

I think that's how they set it up. It should be winner takes all. Yeah. And House and I were talking on Friday. They should have all the cash there. I should be able to see it the whole time. It should travel in a golf cart from hole to hole, just $10 million. Like the World Series of Poker? Yeah. I want to see it the whole time. It should travel in a golf cart from hole to hole, just $10 million.

Like the World Series of Poker? Yeah. I want to see the cash. Or just piles up to a point where you can't even see the other guy's face? Yeah. Yeah. Every hole when they're putting,

there's just $10 million on the green. That's the only way I'm interested. Actually on the green. Yeah, on the green. They dump it on every hole. They dump it on the green. Oh, I like that. Yeah.

I like that. That'll make everybody hate them more. I really feel robbed with how the Ryder Cup played out, how early it was, and how really not competitive America was. It's always a great weekend when we have it, and it was just an ass-kicking, and it was just sad. It made me sad. Where does it rank in terms of sports or sporting events you root for the American?

Like you root hardest for the Americans because it's right up there for me. It might be like the greatest would be, it doesn't never existed, I don't think. But if an American boxer heavyweight, I guess it was like Rocky versus Drago. That would have my, if that were real life, that would be peak rooting interest for the American. Where is this ranked for you? Well, the thing that really jumps out at me is how much fun it is to be agitated

by the Europeans. It's one of the last places I have where you just go into that fuck this guy mode. Like Ian Poulter, I'm like, fuck this guy. Hit this guy in the head with an eight iron.

Fuck this guy. Fuck him. You just get so mad at these. Like John Rahm, when he quenched and he did, like Ian Poulter I'm like fuck this guy hit this guy in the head with an 8 iron fuck this guy fuck him you just get so mad at these like Jon Rahm when he clinched and he did he had this whole spaz out

and Tiger was right there I was like fuck you Jon Rahm I was just your boy Tommy Fleetwood too oh yeah well I can't root

against Tommy Fleetwood he didn't even have a good day today I know it's hard for me to root against Tommy did you see the very end yeah shuffle what was it it was it was Deschambault I know. It's hard for me to root against Tommy. Did you see the very end?

Yeah. Shuffle. What was it? It was Deschambault against Noren, right? Oh, I didn't watch once the Europe clinched. I was out. Well, Harry from the Degenerate Trifecta against the Lodge. I listened to him Wednesday. He has a four-team matchup parlay.

He wins $280 or loses $40. Noren makes like a 35-footer to end it, to end the whole freaking thing. Oh, my God. All he had to do was miss. It's weird, though, that we have like, how many people we have in the country? 350 million or 300 million?

Too many, but yeah, I think that's right. How did we not have our American version of Ian Poulter? Where's our just like, the 5'9 surly dude who just is great in match play? How do we not have that guy? Where is he? What are we doing wrong? We need auditions. We need Ian Poulter auditions.

And they always have that guy, right? When it wasn't Ian Poulter, it was Nick Faldo and it was whoever. Like, they always had those one or two guys where you just go, oh man, that guy's money.

Molinari. Yeah, like a crusty winner and no... I think Koepka could be that. Yeah, Koepka. But maybe he needs to be like 10 years older. Molinari is another one.

It's like, as soon as Ian Poulter's done, move Molinari in, and they're going to be showing his Ryder Cup record. It's like 23-2. But we don't have our American version of it. It really bothers me. Yeah, that sucked. I was looking forward to that.

Screw the Ryder Cup. You know, I think Bethpage, they moved the – what is Bethpage now? Is that the U.S. Open? Well, the next Ryder Cup's in Milwaukee. The U.S. Open's in Pebble Beach next spring. Oh, which one's in March? The PGA Championship? They moved, it goes Masters, PGA, U.S. Open, British.

I think the March one is in Bethpage, Long Island, is the same weekend as the first weekend of the NCAA tournament. That could be insane. Sounds like a good Vegas weekend. Alright, before we do parent corner, I want to do a special brief edition of grandparent corner, because my dad was here. And we were watching

the Steelers-Ravens game tonight, and he called Juju Schuster. He called him Juju Switzer. It was phenomenal. Niffy Kyle was a witness. He was complaining about how Pittsburgh always gets receivers because they had that new white guy they have.

His name is Switzer. They get this guy and then they just every time and they had Sanders that time and then Juju Switzer. It was great. I really enjoyed that. But for the actual parent

corner, my dad and my stepmom were here and yesterday my daughter had to go to yet another bar mitzvah, which I think is her 100th bar mitzvah of the last 52 weeks. So that was great. And my wife and I seized the of the last 52 weeks. So that was great.

And my wife and I seized the opportunity to have a date. So we went out on a double date with your friend, Daniel Kellison, and his wife, Diane. Oh, nice. My parents took my son to the movies, and then they went to dinner after. And they noticed that he kept going to the bathroom went to the bathroom like five or six times for three four minutes pop five minutes of pop and they're at this dinner my stepmother takes forever to eat so any any dinner with my with

my dad and stepmom is usually an hour and a half so he kept disappearing to go so one time my dad followed him in he was leaving the table to go. So one time my dad followed him in. He was leaving the table to go play Fortnite in the bathroom. Like a crack addict. Like a crack addict. He's like, I'll be right back. And was just going and just, and there's some weird kid

in the bathroom playing Fortnite. So they say he's lost all of his Fortnite privileges. I'd like to announce my son's retirement from Fortnite. It's been deleted from his phone. The controllers are gone. He has no access to anything.

It's over. Fortnite is done. That's it. Now, is he going to be bummed at Grandpa now for blowing his cover? That's not right. No. My poor dad, he flies out. They take like the 7 a.m. flight on Friday to come out to just see their grandkids for three days.

No, I know, but I don't want him to get in trouble for it. Today they go to his doubleheader for travel baseball. They sit in the metal baseball stands for four hours watching these 10-year-old baseball games. And then the one thing they want to do is go to the movies and go to dinner with him. And he's in the bathroom playing Fortnite. So that's it. Was he like locked in the stall? Or was he like standing in front of a urinal? I don't know what he was, I don't have all the details. Yeah, he's just kind of wandering around the bathroom like a homeless person. So yeah, it's done. And his phone has been stripped. I changed the iCloud password. He

can't add new apps. He basically like the phone is now a place for him to just text and go on YouTube. And that's it. All right. I want to do that. I probably shouldn't even tell you about this. I should probably tell your wife. I know about the app that you can monitor where they go. No, I don't care.

I'm putting it over under. I'm putting it under eight and a half days before you reinstall that and I'd like to place $20 on that oh I'm going over I win alright let's do it right now alright I don't even care you have all the control over this and I'm still making the bet yeah it's over

it's over Fortnite there's all these stories now about relationships and marriages being ruined by Fortnite it's like a thing now about relationships and marriages being ruined by Fortnite. Oh, yeah. It's like a thing now. Sure.

Yeah. What's your parent corner? It's not a great one. I'm sorry if we covered this already, but, you know, I have my sock, my four-year-old playing soccer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to go to the games. They actually scored a goal. It's fine.

Didn't cry. Knocked over a few people. We had to talk to him about that but um and then uh at the end of the game the team mom is like uh one of the moms is like hey we have pictures tomorrow sunday at 145 yeah i was like ah all right you take oh well do you need him to be picked up or your son to be picked up? I was like, no, I mean, this is something we could just skip. And then now, like, other parents are coming over, like, uh-oh, what's this guy talking about?

Yeah, you can skip it. It's optional. Yeah, I was like, you know, why don't we just, instead of ruining another afternoon, why don't we just get together three minutes before the game and take a team picture? Oh, and then we could branch off and take individual pictures of our, uh, our spawn. And you would have thought I took an umbrella and beat the crap out of all their dogs, right? Like they look like you wouldn't believe the response I got. And then I got, so I'm like, I sense that it's a problem. And I go home, my wife's like, well, I can't do it.

You're going to have to tell. I was like, I'm not at 145. That's right when all these games, I think all the games I would have missed, the endings of all these games I've missed for a picture. How archaic is it now that they have to charge? And it's part of the package. That's the best part of it.

It's part of the league fee is the pictures, except when you get there, they give you an option because you could have your son or daughter's face on a, on a calendar for $60 or a blanket for $129. And God forbid you take your kid with you because they're going to want to, they're going to want to order one of these. So anyway, I'm onto you. We're on to everybody here. Let's just take individual pictures, please. Please. Why do we have to have a separate picture day? In the iPhone era, it makes no sense at all. In the Polaroid era, it didn't make sense. What are we doing here? Zoe's first year was like age four, same thing as your son. We have a picture of her in the

sparkles and she's got little pigtails and it's got like the little baseball card. Like as you know, your first kid, you buy every, Oh, I can get all three of these for $80. Great.

And I will say, I do look fondly at the one picture of that. We have a frame that it is a little heartwarming to see it. You could go on your computer, your son can't because he locked out, but you could go on your computer and make one of these with a nice fancy background and everything.

You could. When I took my son to the Rays-Red Sox game, they had a photographer walking around asking if this is at the Tampa game. They barely have any fans, but they have a photographer. And the person was walking around going, can I take a picture of you and your son for, you know, and I'm thinking like, no, what do I need a picture for?

I have an iPhone. Yeah, I know where this is going. So I'm going to give you $20 and then my email address that you can now have so that you can take the same picture I can take with my iPhone. What are you talking about? So yeah, I'm with you, Sal. That's ridiculous. Let's get a movement going for this.

145 is just classic. That's like, can we just ruin, now you'll miss the end of the first game and then the first half of the second game. It's a great one. I wish I could have put my hand over her mouth when she says, and we're going to be taking pictures at, and I was like, 145?

145, right? Because that's exactly the worst time it could be. Yeah. It was 145. Oh, my God. All right. Lock it in. 430.

FS1. Lock it in. 430. Weekdays on FS1. I was the champ this week. Nice. I get to wear the crown. I get to brag.

I had a Moneyline parlay with the AFC North underdogs, Bengals and Ravens. Nice. Moneyline parlay with the AFC North underdogs, Bengals and Ravens. Nice. Moneyline Parlay. When do I do that? And I hit on the Chargers Moneyline and a few other things. Oh, congratulations. Yeah.

That's great. Why did Jimmy come alive, too? And we have Against All Odds this Wednesday. We're going to be going over best bets and props and all sorts of things. True or false, you tried to talk me into a Saints-Chargers-Kavanaugh three-team parlay on Thursday. Confirmed. Kavanaugh confirmed. True or false, you tried to talk me into a Saints-Chargers-Kavanaugh three-team parlay on Thursday. Kavanaugh confirmed. Kavanaugh confirmed. True or false?

Absolutely true. True or false, you texted me that. Absolutely true. What was it? Chargers minus 480, Saints minus 140, and then Kavanaugh confirmed minus 900, right? No, no. That was, oh, was it minus 900? Oh, yeah, it was right after the testimony.

Yeah, yeah, it was that. Oh, you want to increase the odds a little. It's a winner. Well, we did think about, we did put a lot of thought into combining our powers. We've swayed a lot of things that seemed like they were certainties when the two of us bet on something.

And we did think, like, should we bet on Kavanaugh to be confirmed and see if we can just buy the win for the United States of America exactly the odds were too

probably do better no matter which side you're on we'd probably do a little better yeah no Saints that was a good one though you nailed Saints Rams and you called that in

early Thursday that was nice I had to sweat it out a little bit alright cuz good job by you Good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. All right. Thanks so much to ZipRecruiter.

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Again, fanduel.com slash BS. Back in two days with the one and only Matt Damon. It's a great one. Until then. I feel it's within On the wayside I'm a person I never was And I don't have To be