The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines Week 7 With Cousin Sal (Ep. 273)

Episode Date: October 16, 2017

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the bad beats of Week 6 (6:00), the best Super Bowl odds (11:00), Carson Wentz's MVP odds (15:00), Adrian Peterson's return to form (22:00), the best bet for first coach fired (29:00), the lack of marquee matchups in Week 7 (33:00), Titans-Browns (36:00), Panthers-Bears (42:00), Jay Cutler's job security (47:00), Ravens-Vikings (52:00), Odell Beckham Jr.'s Ewing Theory potential (57:00), the Super Bowl rematch on Sunday night (1:02:00), and another edition of "Parent Corner" (1:07:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Bill Simmons Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by SeatGeek, our presenting sponsor. Buy and sell tickets in two taps on your phone. Everything fully guaranteed. Football fans, $20 off your first SeatGeek purchase on NFL tickets. All you have to do is use promo code BSNFL. Download the SeatGeek app or go right to SeatGeek.com. We're also brought to you by Miller Lite, brewed not just to taste great,

but also to be less filling. It only has 96 calories, so it will not fill you up. It's brewed to be enjoyed from tip-off to final buzzer. It's been my official beer for the last 30 years, even though they didn't know that. It's the original light beer, and it has been since they first showed up courtside in 1975, Miller late. We are also brought to you by Against All Odds and the Ringer NBA show. I am on both of those podcasts. The Ringer NBA show we put up Sunday night, me and Haralabob Valgaris,

the esteemed gambler. We're going to put it on this podcast, but we had so many guests this week, we had to nudge it over to the Ringer NBA show. We break down the whole season. We get in a whole bunch of arguments about the Warriors and whether LeBron's an all-time great passer or just a great passer. He has not been on a podcast in a long time, and it was great to have him back. So that's Ringer NBA show. And then on Against All Odds tomorrow, me, Cousin Sal, Joe House, doing all the futures for the NBA season, MVP, Rookie of the Year, Coach of the Year, you name it.

It's all there. We should mention the Ringers NBA Previewpalooza is happening right now, Monday and Tuesday. We are putting up basically a day and a half of video content on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, you name it. Also a bunch of podcasts. The whole thing, all our staff is here and we're just putting up a ton of content. You know who's here? Shea Serrano. Shea Serrano has a new book out called Basketball and Other Things. And if you love reading Shea and the Ringer, if you enjoyed having him on the podcast, I would urge you to get this book because it's all of Shea's basketball thoughts.

It's going to do really well. He had a huge book signing on Thursday night in New York City. Zach Lowe was there. Jason Concepcion was there. Remember Brown, our old Grantland teammate was there and a huge turnout for that. Congratulations to Shea. It's an awesome book. I make a cameo in it. Check that one out. And oh, one more thing. The Rewatchables. We put up a Rewatchables podcast on Thursday. We broke down Scream. It's the longest one I think we've ever done.

It was like 83 minutes. It was very, very entertaining. And if you love the Rewatchables and you're in Los Angeles, we are doing a live Rewatchables at Largo on Wednesday night, October 18th, I think at 8 PM, we're breaking down face-off. I'm going to be there with Shea Serrano, Jason Concepcion and Chris Ryan. And we're going to dive into either the most underrated or overrated action movie of the past 25 years. Face-off, John Travolta, Nick Cage, live in front of an audience. So if you want to

go to that, I would watch that movie the next two days. So you'll understand half the jokes. All right. Cousin Sal's coming up. He's in Brooklyn. He is not in the studio. We're going to talk about a disastrous week six for gamblers, but first the rock and roll hall of famers Pearl Jam. All right. Coming up, Bad Beat Sunday. The Falcons and the Broncos destroyed every possible parlay and tease and three-teamer and two-teamer and whatever everybody had.

The Packers lost. The Chiefs lost. The Pats and Washington almost lost. Underdogs 10-3 this week, 53-35-1 overall. As usual, Sal, we're not profiting from any of this. Yeah, I don't remember taking a beating this bad in many, many years, I think. I'm really bummed out. Really bummed out.

I feel like I can't bet for a month. I'm so gunshot now. So bad. It just seems like nobody can be trusted. There are no parlay teams to do because there are no good teams. Yesterday, the Falcons coming off a bye week, I actually picked the Dolphins to cover that game in the

Super Contest, but I never thought the Falcons would lose coming off a bye week to the Miami that can't score 20 points, and yet somehow they lose. And then the Broncos, Giants, we'll study that game. 50 years from now we'll be talking about that game, I feel like. I just don't understand it.

Yeah, I think, like, no, and then you can't understand it because there are some things like, okay, you need to be able to count on stuff as a gambler or just as a football fan in general. Like, so the Falcons up 17-0, like you said, coming off a bye, and Jay Cutler is running the other offense. That should be a win. The Niners down 17-0, I believe, to the Redskins.

The Niners, third straight, third consecutive road game, which doesn't ever happen in the NFL. But anyway, third consecutive road game, two of which went to overtime. They should be exhausted, down 17-0. They put the Iowa kid in, Beathard, as quarterback. They have a backup quarterback, and they make it all the way back. They don't win. But things like that make you want to watch something else.

It was terrible. It was terrible all day. Yeah, and we didn't – what was the other one that was crazy? Oh, the Saints were up 45-10, and the Lions almost came back to cover that one. I mean, if that had happened, I think that would have been the biggest comeback of all time, right? 35 points. I don't know if anyone's ever come back from that. I been the biggest comeback of all time, right? 35 points. I don't know if anyone's ever come back from that.

I was watching that because that was one of my two best bets. Your Patriots were the other one. I got backdoored, although I don't even know if you should have won that game. Yeah, it's unclear. Down 14, nothing to the Jets. I don't know how the Safarian Jenkins thing wasn't a touchdown. The Pats are terrible, and somehow they're a game out of having the best record in the entire league. And they look awful.

It's easily the worst Pats team since 2009, I would say. Defense is... Do you think... Do you remember this late in the year? We're now entering week seven, where you can't convincingly say that any of the eight teams are going to win a division. Like, you could pick eight division winners, but can you say one of those eight teams is definitely going to win? Like, Patriots should win.

Steelers should win. Chiefs should win. But I don't know. I wouldn't bet my life on any of that stuff. Wow, you really sound broken. I know. You need to say counselor when you're in Brooklyn. I don't remember. I could, you really sound broken. I know. You need to see a counselor when you're in Brooklyn.

I wish I could show you my tally. I remember 2008 being a little like this, like super unpredictable, but we're at a pace now with the underdogs being 18 over 500. Let's just say that continues at that pace

for the rest of the season. You're talking about 50 games over 500 for the underdogs that seems inconceivable i remember the underdogs being we've had years where they finished 30 games over 500 but not 50 and the other thing that's happening is these teams these big favorites either losing or almost losing we had what was two weeks ago who lost when they were nine and a half point favorites? Carolina beat the Pats. Right. And everybody was like, wow, first time that's happened in a couple years. And now you have this Atlanta team loses to Miami at home 13 point favorites, which hadn't happened, I think, five or six years. Oh, yeah.

Well, the fact that two, I don't know if two 13-point favorites hadn't lost on the same day in like 20 years or something. It was 1992 or something crazy. And then we've had some, like, I love the Packers yesterday. I thought the Packers were going to go into Minnesota and beat them. And then Rodgers breaks his collarbone and they cross it off. It's over. So a lot of bad luck.

I think a lot of people got seduced by the Chiefs and the Panthers this week because the lines were low. They were basically begging you to take the favorite, and that burned some people. So really, really, really strange season. Yeah, they killed everyone that way. You're right. They kept those lines low.

I mean, they didn't know, obviously, that Rodgers was going to get hurt, but the Packers were a public bet. And then all these 10-point favorites. And I think we got excited because, you know, we love doing these teasers and money-line parlays. But every week leading up to this, they made the spread so short, three, three-and-a-half on all these games. We couldn't find a three-team teaser like we could this week.

Which makes it even more spectacular that all these underdogs are covering when every week except this week they were just like three-point favorites was the norm. I think we cross everyone off and just bring teams back as they show some life. I don't know how to

handicap this. The Jaguars-Rams was another fishing line. That stayed pretty steadily at two and a half. Jags are home. Rams aren't exactly like a juggernaut. I like the Rams, but I couldn't believe that line wasn't three. And then as it got closer to game time, it drifted down to Jags

by one. And the Rams won it pretty convincingly. You almost pulled the trigger on that. I could tell. You almost pulled. You were going Rams. You were going Rams.

And then right before the kickoff, which then the kickoff was run back for a touchdown. But you're probably three seconds away from having a winner there. Yeah. Well, I was texting about it. I didn't realize it was a 4-0-5 start. So I would have wagered on that one. It never happened. The Giants beating the Broncos, though. I don't understand it.

They go into the game. Everybody knows they can't throw the ball, and they're just going to run the ball and try to kill the clock and make it this slow-paced game. And the Broncos seem completely blindsided by this. Like, oh, you guys are just going to run the ball with a giant offensive line? Oh, okay.

Oh, wow. Whoa, didn't see this coming. And then all Denver had to do was just stack the line and not make mistakes offensively, and there's no way they don't win the game. And yet they do, and now the Giants aren't dead. Sal, I only have three cross-off teams. We try to cross a team off every week. It's week six.

I think only the 49ers, Browns, and Giants are cross-off teams. I don't have any others. Do you? It's week six. I think only the 49ers, Browns, and Giants are cross-off teams. I don't have any others. Do you? Can we uncross teams off as we see the powerhouses suck every week? Yeah. I don't know how to do this. Well, we crossed off the Chargers.

We did or didn't? We did. We crossed off the Chargers, and now I've uncrossed them. Yeah, we're bringing them back so would you say giants yeah i think they're just those three giants niners and brown and the niners are having one of the great gambling seasons anybody's ever had they've lost five straight games by three points or less which has never happened before in the history of the nfl i think they've covered all five of those games they're somehow five and one against the spread they got killed in week one

yeah they've had a quarterback change already. It's just bizarre. I mean, I was looking at the divisions and the AFC South right now, the Colts in Tennessee are playing tonight. AFC South is going to have three, three, and three teams no matter what happens. NFC South has Carolina at four and two

and New Orleans and Atlanta at three and two. The NFC North, everybody thought Minnesota was done. Bradford looks like his career might be over. They lose to Alvin Cook. And it's like, oh, yeah, it crossed them off. They're 4-2, tied with the Packers, who don't have a quarterback. And then the Rams are winning the NFC West. 4-2.

Winner. The Rams are ahead Yeah NFC West So I don't know We have that big bet What do we have We have Seattle Pittsburgh

And New England As our big division winners The Packers aren't in that right No they're not No Thank God But we somehow stayed away from that Thank God

Yeah The Rams are going to screw everything up anyway And everybody's like The Steelers are back Meanwhile You know They did what they should have done The whole season The Rams are going to screw everything up anyway. And everybody's like, the Steelers are back. Meanwhile, they did what they should have done the whole season. They just gave the ball to Le'Veon Bell over and over and over and over again. Roethlisberger, he was okay. I wouldn't say that was the game we're going to point to

when he finishes at 4,500 yards and be like, that was the game he turned it around. He threw a couple passes into traffic, including the game clincher to Antonio Brown that two guys could have intercepted and somehow Brown goes down the sidelines with it. But I was more, their defense and Le'Veon Bell won that game. And the Chiefs offensive line didn't look great to me.

I don't like any team is basically the conclusion I've come to. I like no teams. All 32 teams,'ve come to. I like no teams. All 33 teams, I'm out. I'm with you. I think the Steelers are getting a little too much credit. I'm with you on that. Like, yeah, you're right. Antonio Brown, that could have been picked or knocked down,

and then they have to punt. And also, they got Andy Reid. Andy Reid is fundamental. Down 12-3, 13 minutes left. Down nine points from inside the five, he passes on the field goal. First of all, third and three, he runs it right into the line. And then

a pass in the middle and he gets broken up or almost caught or whatever. It was just the play selection was terrible. You have to make that 12-6 and then they end up scoring. They could have had the lead with six minutes left. I just couldn't believe that. And then the timeouts, of course, are always a mystery with him. 24 teams are either 4-2, 3-2, 3-3, or 2-3.

75% of the week. So that's exciting. I looked at the Super Bowl odds, and this, I think, nobody is better than 5-1. The Pats are somehow 5-1. Who's betting on that? Who's watching this Patriots team and going, oh, 5-1, I'm grabbing that? Chiefs 5-1. The Pats are somehow 5-1. Who's betting on that? Who's watching this Patriots team and going, oh, 5-1, I'm grabbing that?

Chiefs 7-1. Steelers plus 750. The Eagles, who have looked better than really anybody the last couple weeks, are 10-1. And then if you go through the only long shot ones that I thought were mildly intriguing, where the Rams are 25-1 and the Packers are 25-1. So if you figure if they can somehow get to 9-7 or whatever

and sneak out either the NFC North or the second wild card or whatever and Rodgers is back in time, who knows? Them as a sixth seed. I worry about the whole collarbone thing. I've broken my collarbone. It doesn't feel right for I don't care how fast it heals. You never feel totally good about it. So I don't know.

It's weird to me because he seems so happy in the commercials they're airing 10 seconds after his injury. And it's on his throwing side. So this is going to be worse than the one in 13 or whenever the last one he did it. But yeah, the Vikings are now favored at minus 180 to win the North. And like you said, their quarterback and running back are out. They're still on top. Case Keenum is their quarterback.

Yeah, they were also running the Eli Manning-Odell Beckham Jr. commercial. And I think J.J. Wild had one, too. It's basically just all injured dudes. They need to do like a—Fornette should have a commercial. Todd. Watt had one too. It's basically just all injured dudes. They need to do like a Fournette should have a commercial. Todd Gurley should have a commercial. Like a Kareem Hunt. They should get all the rookie running backs in here.

Yeah, I know. Hey, very quick break to talk about the NBA is back on TNT after a blockbuster offseason and we should mention that you and I did a podcast together with House that is against all odds, special NBA season futures podcast. But Tuesday night, October 17th, that's tomorrow night,

Cleveland hosting Kyrie Irving and the Boston Celtics. They're an old guy that helped them win the 2016 finals. That's at 7 p.m., 10.30 p.m. James Harden and Chris Paul lead the new-look Houston Rockets to the Bay to take on the defending champion Golden State Warriors that we both think, it's controversial, but both of us think Golden State might win the title. That's right.

We both have that. Oh, and then Thursdayursday night there's more basketball the new york knicks are facing their old star carmelo anthony and the big three thunder that's 7 p.m eastern 10 30 you get to look at lonzo ball his first game lakers playing the clippers nba coverage begins at 7 p.m eastern Eastern, October 17th, October 19th, on TNT and the TNT app. Spoiler alert on the podcast you and I did. Our favorite bet, I think out of anything,

was Kyrie Irving to win the scoring title at 20-1. By the time this podcast goes up, those odds might be 10-1. They're 12-1 right now. But there's been some action on that. I blame Tate. i blame kate the snake he's the only one who heard us say that and uh and we tipped him off and i think he went and took 25 30 grand and put it on kairi and did you do that i don't even have that much money tate tate stole 25 grand and then he and then he for jeff chow and then he put that up. Yeah, so those odds flipped.

The one thing I've changed my mind on since we did that podcast, not to spoil the fantastic hour-long conversation we had, Steph Curry's MVP odds are 20 to 1. I am not allowed to wager on this because I have a vote. But I think those are crazy odds because they're clearly gonna have the best record in the league and you know if if they're 15 wins ahead of everybody else and they go like 74 and 8 or something and he has we we made the case for him in the podcast but if he if he scores 28 a game shoots 55 and 50 from three and 92% free throw shooting.

And his plus minus is plus 16. He's going to win the MVP. So I don't understand why he has the 10th best odds. Tate, you don't understand it either, right? I mean, you talk about, you talk about splitting votes though. Durant would have to get very, very few votes for that to happen. Isn't that true? Yeah, maybe.

I don't love the case for anybody else. We talked a lot about LeBron, too, as just like his one last vengeance season. I think that's a pretty safe bet. There's been some Giannis momentum, but the odds aren't really that great for him. And then you go through and it's... Speaking of MVP, by the way. Yeah. Alex Smith now. a prohibitive favorite.

Plus 160. Coming off like not a great game. These things jump around so much. What was it last week? Rogers was even odds to win, right? And now he's obviously out of the picture. And your boy is 3-1. And I think it's Brady again.

I do. I think you only have to go 11-5 and a handful of these games come down to the last drive and he's going to pull your team out from underneath. I think he's got it. 3-1. I'm booking that. I would urge everybody in Philadelphia to sit down and maybe hold the table

or the desk or wherever you are so you don't kill over. I think Wentz at 8-1 is kind of officially intriguing. Yeah. They are a big favorite. Big things are expected of the Eagles. They're minus 400 to win the NFC East. And they're fun to watch. I hate to say it.

They have the fourth best Super Bowl odds of anybody. They have the best Super Bowl odds of anybody in the NFC. And what if they go 14-2? What if he throws for 4,200 yards? I think he's in play. And then Deshaun Watson is 10-1 now. And if he single-handedly brings Houston to a three-seed with all the injuries they've had, and he

just drags them to 11-5 or 12-4 or something, he could have the rarely-seen MVP-rookie of the year combo, because he's a prohibitive favorite for that, minus 800. He's the most fun player to watch right now. No question about it. I like any

quarterback I like to throw long, and these guys are going up and getting it fuller and hopper, and he uses his legs. So much fun to watch. The intriguing rookie of the year bet, and I was just surprised by the odds, I did a double take, was Fournette at 15-1

because that guy's fucking awesome. He's going to get better as the year goes along, especially when it gets a little more cold weather. November, December, that's really when the run game becomes more and more important. And man, it seemed like he got hurt for a split second yesterday in that Rams game.

Right. And I was surprised by how bummed out I was. I don't know if you saw that, but it really looked like he had the non-contact ACL for a second. I was like, oh no, not another one. It looked like a hyperextension. It looked like a hyperextension. I think it's just an ankle injury. He says he's going to be back, but you're right.

You talk about numbers. First of all, he's about to break the rookie record for consecutive games with a touchdown if he gets one more yeah uh this week but um yeah if he ends up with 19 20 touchdowns you're gonna love that 15 to 1 odds right now so the sean is minus 800 that's that's a real runaway odds for this early it's weird fornette's one of those running backs that when you watch him, wow, how do people tackle him? It just seems like a mistake if he gets brought down by one dude. And he's got the wheels, too.

He's really great. I'm not a huge college football fan, so I hadn't seen him more than maybe five or six times in college. He's been everything that he was advertised to be. Great pick. I just felt that he was advertised to be. Great pick. I just felt that he was done with LSU. He seemed hurt. Tate, didn't he get hurt so much with LSU?

Tate's nodding. He wasn't like a battler like he is now. He's just a brute force out there now. And like you said, the Jags should be a team where you could stack the box. Bortles is not going to hurt you. And the teams are doing that, and he's still making them pay. It's weird. Yeah, the Rams just went into yesterday and were like,

Blake Bortles, you're going to have to beat us. We're going to play an eight in the box. Good luck. And, of course, he was Blake Bortles and was awful. And I tweeted, it was the same day as the Kaepernick collusion lawsuit. And, uh, I mean, if he ever needs more evidence. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look at who played yesterday. He played Kevin Hogan, Brian horror got yanked. Um, who is who?

There was two more terrible quarterbacks out there. Oh, the green Bay backup eat all these dudes and it's like really no kaepernick not uh not not i i get it like in august when people are afraid for the distractions and stuff but now when you actually see the injuries and the different stuff it's just kind of surprising hey top five qb not to mention they were they were three real quick there were three quarterbacks and tate now lombardi mentioned on real quick, there were three quarterbacks, and Tate and Lombardi mentioned on Jim Street, that not good quarterbacks that won with passing fewer than 150 yards. What was it, like Goff and Cutler?

Who was the third? Was it Trubisky? Was he the third? Yeah, Trubisky was like under minus 120. Oh, man. The Chicago thing, them beating Baltimore on the road without running backs was kind of startling too. And then the one time they actually needed a wide receiver to – I mean, not without running backs, without wide receivers.

They have no receivers at all and a quarterback that they don't want to make mistakes. And then the one time they needed a receiver to make a play in overtime, he was like third and whatever, and he broke out and threw this high pass. mistakes. And then the one time they needed a receiver to make a play in overtime, he, he was like third and whatever. And he broke out and threw this high pass and the guy jumped up like 10 feet and grabbed it in traffic. And it was like the biggest play of the game. Great play. You know, you talk about not being able to cross teams off. I know Baltimore's three and three. That's the kind of team I want to cross off. I don't know what they would have to do to show me in the

next month or six weeks. I don't even think they're a wild card team. A rookie quarterback hadn't won in Baltimore in nine games. You have to lay the smack down there. You have to win that right away. I'm amazed that I didn't have Baltimore in a tease yesterday because it would have fit in with

everything else that was going on. But there's something about their offense that just makes them pretty much unteasable um hey yeah you know captain the captain from captain yeah you remember him right our old friend he won't he won't rest until he's brought his adventurous spirit and delicious rum to every corner of america variety the spice of life that's why why Captain Morgan has spiced up life quite a bit. They've developed a collection of rum, each with their own distinctive flavor and personality.

The captain loves anyone who learns to mix like a captain. Every week, Sal and I pick our captain of the week. Sal, why don't you go first this week? Alright, I'll go first, and this might seem a little cliche, but my captain of the week is Adrian Peterson. all right i'll go first and this might seem a little cliche but uh my captain of the week is adrian peterson well let's talk about yeah yeah if you don't know

who adrian peterson is he was on his way to being one of the top 10 running backs of all time i think he still is got in trouble with the law trouble with his team big injury looking like it was over the the vikings wanted nothing to do with him. They trade him to the Saints. His offense changes every two weeks. You don't know what to expect. They have, like, three running backs. He's now sent to Arizona, and it was looking like, I think Lombardi said,

like an Emmitt Smith kind of thing. You put an old running back behind an old offensive line just for one last shot at glory. And maybe this is it. Maybe he is going to average 2.8 yards a carry, but 26 for 134, two touchdowns, 27 receiving yards. That was big. I think he's back. He's back this week at least,

and that's why he gets to wear my captain's hat. Congratulations, Adrian Pierce. Wow, that was emotional. Yeah, why not? You know, I was driving home last night listening to one of those NFL radio shows, and they played a soundbite from Peterson about how his son plays flag football, and his son had had six flag football touchdowns and was making fun of him about how he didn't have a touchdown yet.

And he's like, so now I got one. I got like five more to catch up. And the announcers were just kind of, they played the clip, and they're just like, yeah, yeah, it's great to see him back. And I'm thinking like, uh-oh, Adrian Peterson, his son. Like, I was so scared the whole time. I don't know. I haven't gotten over that one.

Just as a parent, I've not gotten over that. Making fun of dad, maybe not the best idea. Yeah, don't. I just couldn't believe the. Yeah, don't. I just couldn't believe the whole, I don't know. It still felt a little too soon to me. Well, he gets to wear the captain's hat. He could rub it into his son.

He's got a captain's hat. The little boy does. There you go. My captain this week is Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid. You know, it's such a topsy-turvy year, and I don't know what to believe in anymore. I don't know who to trust. I don't know what teams to gamble on.

My beloved Brady Belichick dynasty seems like it's teetering toward the end here as we don't really have enough good players to fill the Super Bowl team. Tom Brady, 40 years old. Gronk, every time he gets hit, I have a heart attack. I don't know what to believe in anymore, Sal. And as part of that, the Chiefs being undefeated and having a coach that was pulling all the right strings and game management and staying two steps ahead of everybody, it was really hard for me to accept. It was just, it went against everything I'd learned over the last 20 plus years with the Indy. And then, and then yesterday happens.

And Andy proved that I would, that he was one of the few things we can still rely on every once in a while as a favorite at home, Andy Reed is going to do some weird stuff and is going to help cost his team the game. And it really made me feel happy. Andy, you're my captain. You're my guy.

I love it, man. It really makes me happy to see you being you again. Thank you. Anyway, that's it. Our captains of the week. I didn't know we were allowed to be sarcastic in these. All right, we can have more fun with this. I wasn't know we were allowed to be sarcastic in these alright we can have more fun with this I wasn't being sarcastic

I really I was so happy that he mismanaged things again when he called the timeout with 2.05 left I was like oh Andy you're so adorable you're my dude man beat the Steelers once in a while right?

now you're in a spot, the Chiefs are, where, you know, they have to be in this spot anyway, but you can't play both the Patriots and the Steelers. You have to get that by now because you're going to lose to one of those two teams, and you're going to lose to the Steelers if you play them. You just can't step up. I mean, many times you have to see the Steelers beat the Chiefs

when they're not as good. Well, speaking of the Chiefs when they're not as good. Good job, Andy. Speaking of the Chiefs, Thursday night, week seven, who do we think wins the Colts Tennessee tonight? I kind of have a feeling it's one of those T.Y. Hilton gets 210 receiving yards type of games

and the Colts win. Nobody can understand how they're 3-3. Yeah, maybe. I like Tennessee in a close one. I like Tennessee in a close one. I like Tennessee in a close one. Luck comes back. But I've been terrible, by the way.

Should we talk about the bet that I lost in the middle of the game yesterday? What was that? Well, you know, Al Michaels does his thing. He tells his... It wasn't even a joke. He makes an offhanded remark about Harvey Weinstein. And you point out that everything's like, now he's trending, Al Michaels is trending.

I'm like, oh, this is not a big deal. You're like, oh, it is going to be a big deal. We texted, we started arguing about it. He's not going to apologize. Yeah, we started arguing about it on text. I was like, he has to apologize. This was terrible. He has to step in front of this

because he's going to get annihilated. Right. So we i was like he's not going to apologize this is one of those dumb things this is a dumb time we live in it's going to go past him he's an older man they'll let it go and that'll be that you're like no he's definitely apologizing i'm like all right i will bet you a stupid amount of money to bet on something like this, uh, that, that he doesn't apologize in the next 24 hours. Yeah. And, uh, and what happened?

There was a commercial break and he came back and he, I lost that bet in like a minute, but I've lost horse races that have lasted longer than that. That's stupid. Oh, he was definitely going to apologize. That was ridiculous. He never should have said that.

I mean, I love Al Michaels. There are a couple of problems with it. That was ridiculous. He never should have said that. I mean, I love Al Michaels. There are a couple of problems with it. One was that he made the joke. Second was that he was clearly sitting on it. It was like he had it. It was almost like a stand-up comic on a late night show. Like he had the zinger he was ready to throw out.

And it just was so awkward. And you can't even say too soon. It was whatever's five times bigger than too soon. And, uh, and he, and he's just immediately trending on Twitter and people are like, Whoa. And, but the other thing is James Corden just got in trouble for this on Friday night. You know, it's right. But those were real Joe. Those are real like a grown or jokes like this is just a, Hey, here's who had a bad week. Oh, something killed. Oh, he had were real jokes. Those were real, like, groaner jokes. Like, this is just, hey, here's who had a bad week. Oh, Osama bin Laden was killed.

Oh, he had a bad week, and the chiefs had a bad week. I don't know. Whatever. Leave the guy alone for crying out. Look, ESPN will probably fire me for saying this, but... Oh, wait a minute. No. Just leave him alone.

I do feel like... I'm not... Obviously, we can't condone remarks like that, but he is like 73. And it does seem like when anybody over 70, we should at least like remember that when we're talking about whoever, like, Oh my God, I can't believe you said that. It's like people, we all have people, uncles, parents that are over 70 years old.

And just think about how you are when you're with them on Thanksgiving. They're going to say something. You'll be like, oh, no, no. No, Uncle So-and-So. Oh, my God. So I just would urge people to remember that Al Michaels is not young. That's it. Don Rickles and Joan Rivers

are gone, and that's it. They said that would not let anyone else in. That's it. No old person exemption anymore. Thursday night. Yeah. Chiefs at Oakland. Jack Del Rio looming now as a next coach fired dark horse. First coach.

First coach fired. Let's go over those real quick. Hugh Jackson minus 200. McAdoo now in second place. McAdoo gets the break, 3-1. And Gase is third at 15-1. And Pagano not even in the conversation. But, yeah, he might be right about Del Rio.

He went 14. Del Rio's got to be like 25, 30-1. Let me see. I didn't even look for his name. That team looks like it checked out. He's 50-1. 50-1. Tate. Tate, you should get more money. You steal

more money and bet on Jack Del Rio. 50-1. That team has... I have not watched a Raiders game all season where I felt like they looked completely engaged and fired up to be out there and locked in and well coached. They're a mess. So anyway.

They have a sleepy offense, much like Tampa Bay, where you just scratch your head for three hours. Like, why is this offense going 35 points? But yeah, it just looks such a sleepy, lethargic offense. Tampa Bay and Oakland are the two teams so far this year that I just watch and I go, you guys have talent. What are you doing? You look like you haven't practiced. Tampa's. I was

right on the Rams and I was dead wrong on Tampa. I have the Chiefs favored by three and a half in Oakland. I had that exact number. It's three. And they are sucking us in again, right? If the Raiders don't show up for this game, there's serious issues.

I don't know. They can't run the ball. And they don't really have an explosive receiver like the only guy they have who's kind of scary is corduroy patterson who scored the go-ahead touchdown the fourth quarter who i always forget is on the raiders and then once or twice a game they'll run a reverse or some sort of stupid play for him it's a corduroy patterson oh but uh they're just not explosive. Well, you know, Crabtree's gotten better. I think he's, like, taken over as their top guy.

He kind of finds a way to snip the end zone. But Cooper is the big disappointment on this team, and they can't get a running game going. So I don't know where that leaves them. Sunday, marquee game for the first time this season, leaving it blank. No marquee games on Sunday the good game

is Sunday night no Sunday afternoon game that I would recommend staying home for and by the way America I don't think there's ever been

a better weekend to go pumpkin patch hunting or take your kids to a Halloween festival or take your girlfriend out to go look at foliage if you're looking for one of those weekends this is it right here this weekend Sunday or take your kids to a Halloween festival or take your girlfriend out to go look at foliage.

If you're looking for one of those weekends, this is it right here, this weekend, Sunday. Early games suck, late games suck. Go out, spend some time with your fam. I'm with you. Is that what they call it, pumpkin patch hunting? Pumpkin patch hunting? Yeah. I think you just have to, you don't need to bring a gun.

I think they just give you 15 bucks. No, yeah. That's the biggest one they have. That's the plot of the Purge 4. They go pumpkin patch hunting and things go ruck. Oh, I didn't know that. All right, no, I'm with you. The night games are good, Thursday, Sunday, and Monday,

but otherwise not a ton to look forward to. Good idea, I think, passing on the marquee. Yeah, if you have a wife with two young kids and the wife has just begrudgingly accepted that every week, every Sunday you're going to watch football, this is the week to just surprise her and be like, hey, honey, I think it's time we spent a Sunday together. What do you want to do?

Just play it that way. It's really smart. Yeah. Plus, I think we need a cleansing after yesterday. I think we could all use a little bit of an Atkins Spice cleansing. Yeah, if you were here, you're in Brooklyn, obviously, for the week of Jimmy's shows. Great guests, by the way. Letterman's on, Stern's on. Who else is on? Amy Schumer tonight, if you listen to this Monday. We got a lot going on. Billy Joel Thursday, Woody Harrelson Friday. It's going to be a lot of fun. So if you were here, because we've gotten murdered this whole NFL season,

I would say we should go get a colonic and go video it. There's no exorcism, but I think a colonic is a body exorcism, basically, and maybe we both did one. That's good. Well, I could probably find a place out here. We could FaceTime our colonics together. We could go to a house party.

Yeah. Yeah. Cause I don't know if it would be better or worse than last week to have a giant tube rimmed up my ass and then water blown up there until all my intestines are emptied. But it would feel roughly the same as that Broncos-Giants game. All right. Speaking of poop.

Yeah, or the Falcons, I don't know. Speaking of poop, the poopfecta. I have two. Number one, the Browns at home. They're a mortal lock every week for the poopfecta. They're hosting the Titans of Tennessee. And I assume Mariotta will be back by then. Mariotta. Mariot then. Mariotta.

Mariotta. Mariotta. Well, he's playing tonight, I think, right? I think if he goes on the field and feels good, I think he says he's going to play. I was factoring in the injury that he hasn't had yet tonight. Oh, I see. I was factoring in his pulled calf or whatever happens to him tonight.

I have the Titans favored by five and a5 in Cleveland. Where is this? Yeah, that's higher too. It's 6.5. It's a little higher. I think Vegas is getting a little wiser. I think now that I see over the last full season

and this year they're 1-5. 17-4-1 if you bet against the Browns. That's 80%. I don't know why we're analyzing this, why we're taking anyone else. Why we're driving three miles to pick up P.F. Chang's when you can go on any one of 100 apps, and for $2 extra they'll bring it to your house. Why are we looking so far into this?

Let's just take the Browns. The record is atrocious. If you lose one week, you win the next two. You know why? Go against the Browns. In week one, they were home against the Steelers

and they covered but lost and that threw us off the scent. Yep. It's one of many terrible things that happened to us this year. Yes.

We'll get back on the scent with them. What's the other poop factor game? That's a good one. Indianapolis is also home. They're playing Blake Bortles and the Jacksonville Jaguars.

And I assume Andrew Luck won't be back for this. I have the Jaguars favored by two and a half. We split this. The actual number is three, and I said three and a half. But, I don't

know. What do you trust? Bortles or Bursette? This is tough. It seems easy, but stay away, right? I think Bursette's better than Bortles. Probably. Bortles is really bad. And what's annoying about him is the cheap yardage he gets at the end of the game to make his stats look better, which has been a running joke

for anyone who watches football for the last three years. But even did it yesterday. They were down 10, the game's over, and he got another like 50 yards before something bad happened. Hey, quick break, talk about Gillette. The tip of a Gillette razor blade is measured on an atomic scale. Their blade edges are thinner than a single brain cell. That precision, the work of many, many brain cells,

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you're exactly right pricing applies to select products at the sole discretion of the retailer okay we have a bunch of apple picker pumpkin patch games this week before we go on we were just talking about the Jags

you pulled off a blockbuster trade in fantasy. I know no one likes to hear about anyone else in the fantasy league, but this must have taken hours to get. You want to set it up? You want to tell people what went down, who you gave up, and who you got? Listen, I'm not ashamed of this. The Rams have become my football mistress. I love the Patriots.

We've been in a great marriage my whole life. But the Rams and I have spent a couple, couple weekends in a hotel room like frolicking and drinking champagne and kind of sneaking around. And I realized yesterday, I didn't even have money on the Rams and I was watching the game. Like, like I had money on them. So I think I liked the Rams is my point. But, uh, our crazy friend, Brad had Cup, who I've enjoyed, who I felt was a little undervalued because he's had some almost touchdowns and things called back, and they throw to him way more than his stats. So I dangled Alan Hearns of the Jaguars, and 57 emails later, it finally happened. And Hearns had 37 yards and Cupp

had 35. But all I know is I have Sammy Watkins and Cooper Cupp now on the explosive Rams offense that threw for 110 yards last week. That is the most nothing trade I've ever heard of. Cooper Cupp for Alan Hearns.

And you guys were playing against each other. Not only were the teams playing each other, the Rams and the Jags, but you were playing Brad. And that's also like a no-no to trade with someone you're playing that week. But that is spectacular. 57, 57 emails.

I was so unafraid of Alan Hearns coming back to haunt me that I traded him to a team that I was playing against. Yeah, it was great. Brad, we should mention Brad's strategy. He spent all of his free agent auction money on Odell Beckham, Julio Jones, and Antonio Brown.

And tried to get by with Roethlisberger, quarterback. And then Odell got hurt. He's out for the year. And really has a chance to have one of the worst fantasy teams of all time. But he did pick up Adrian Peterson. So, yeah. He did. But I think when our wives eventually leave us,

that's exhibit A for your wife. The Hearns Cup trade? The Hearns for Cooper Cup. And it took 57 emails, which took two hours out of time. He could have spent doing anything, really. Anything in the world would have been better. I love it. I lied.

It wasn't 57 emails. It was like 53. All right. All right. Looking better. All right. Six apple pickers. All right. I right. Looking better. All right, six Apple pickers. All right.

I just like making trades. I'm that guy in the league that just wants to make trades. I'm always available to make a trade. I'm always available to discuss a trade. I'm willing to do a three-team trade, blockbuster. I'm just there. It's like I hate fantasy football. Trades are the only fun part of it.

You're right. You're right. Apple pickers. Cooper Coppo, untouchable. You're not letting him go. Well, I think he's going to have a big week're right. Cooper Coppo, untouchable. Do not let him go. I think he's going to have a big week. I like Cooper Coppo. Bills at home

for the struggling Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I have the Bills favored by three and a half points. What do you have? I have it by three, and it is three right now. You know, it's weird about this.

First of all, it's weird that they have a line on this because, you know, they wait all week. They wait until Friday to put a line on the Vikings game when you didn't know if it was Bradford or Case Keenum. Like, it made a difference. But now that it could be Fitzpatrick over Winston, they have a line out on this Monday morning. Does that seem weird to you?

Well, they said Jameis is playing. Oh, he's definitely playing. Okay. Alright. I got bad intel there. I didn't know if he was definitely playing. The good news is that Jameis threw everybody off the scent with his engaging hard knocks performance. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. He seemed like a team player and that screwed everyone up. You know the Cardinals are 3-3? I saw that. I thought we got rid of the Cardinals. They're just hanging around. I know.

They have the 2008 All-Star All-Pro team of Palmer, Peterson, and Fitzgerald. They're going to hang around. And the 80-year-old Bruce Arians is the coach. They should bring back... Yeah, Honey Bear in the secondary. Yeah, it's too much. Honey Bear? I guess he helps win that division, but we're going to get it wrong.

Who's Honey Bear? Honey Badger? Honey Badger, yeah. They got Honey Bear, too. He was in Beretta. Honey Bear. It's a 40-year-old sitcom. Chicago's hosting the Carolina

Panthers. I have the Panthers favored by three and a half. You get that exactly. I had three. I didn't want to take a chance on the hook. But it is three and a half. This is

Tate's... What does Tate do for this game? He's not going apple picking. It's his quarterback versus his team. Trubisky versus the Panthers. Tate was on the Luke Kuechly tightrope all season. He knew that they were a Super Bowl contender potentially if he stayed healthy. And the moment he got hurt, the team changes.

And I think that's what we're seeing. Right. You know. Right. healthy and the moment he got hurt the team changes and i think that's what we're seeing right you know and and right now they're saying he maybe didn't have a concussion and it's like come on the dude's probably had yeah and if we had that cta test that you know that at some point you're gonna be living human beings are gonna take i I just think we'd feel so much better about like, yeah, here's this test. You shouldn't play football anymore, but nobody really knows and nobody knows what the lines are. I just don't think he should play anymore. But what do I know?

Well, I mean, there's a three-strikes rule in California, and it's very controversial. It probably should be. But maybe there should be a three-strikes rule in California and it's very controversial and it probably should be, but maybe there should be a three strikes rule in the NFL with three concussions. That should be enough. How much do we need to see?

Three seems like enough, but not counting the, who knows, Pop Warner High School, college, who knows how many of these guys have been. Yeah, tons. Wow. Now I'm bummed out. green bay at home for the new orleans saints the new orleans saints who lost to minnesota in week one and then played the patriots and the pats almost put up like 50 on them and everybody's like oh the saints suck this year and now the

saints are look a little rejuvenated. Their fantasy defense was on fire yesterday. And this was one of the games you would look at if you looked at the Saints' schedule and you would say, oh, they'll lose in Lambeau. Drew Brees outdoors, Aaron Rodgers crossed this one off. And they catch a break. No Aaron Rodgers. I have the Packers favored by two and a half,

and I'm probably wrong. Wow. Wow, are you wrong. I had the Packers by one and a half, and I'm probably wrong. Wow. Wow, are you wrong? I had the Packers by one and a half. It opened at Saints by four and a half, and it's Saints by six now. Oh, my God. Yeah. Kind of like the Packers. That's an enormous number on the road.

I kind of like the Packers. That is so high. But you know what? Before yesterday's craziness against the Lions, the Saints hadn't turned the ball over all year, and they hadn't given up like a touchdown pass in like two games. So I don't know if you throw yesterday's game out, but I think they could be better than we think, the Saints.

I'm with you. They could throw the ball. Their defense isn't awful. And, you know, Breeze. But I'm trying to think, what would that line have been if Aaron Rodgers was playing? Packers by six? Yeah, so that's a 12-point swing.

Wow. I always thought it was like for the best, best, best players, assuming they didn't have a backup, I always thought it was like eight to ten points was the swing. The 12 seems outrageous. That's got to come down a little bit. That's got to come down. I mean, it's a bad offensive line,

and Aaron Rodgers makes the offensive line look better. He's able to move and stuff. Ironically, now he's out for maybe the season because the offensive line didn't do their job. But Hundley, I don't know, is going to be able to make things happen with his feet. It's a tough system to learn. Even Matt Flynn, who everybody loved, was like one in three that one year.

He had to step up. Saints on grass. Saints as a prohibitive road favorite during a season where the underdogs are 18 games over 500. I don't know. I would urge everyone to be careful with this one. Dolphins at home against the Jets of New York. The Dolphins have not scored 20 points. Right?

They haven't scored more than 20 points yet? I don't think so. I think you're right. I don't know what Jay Cutler has to do to lose his job, but I think it happened at least three weeks ago. Dolphins, I have by three and a half. I think we're going to split this. It was three and a half.

It went to three, and I had four. Oh, no, you... Why can't I do math? No, you got it. You got it. They're still closer. That's down to three. I'd like to give a shout-out to the Ringer's own Michael Lombardi,

one of our 50 favorite italians before the year he told me to take rex burkhardt rex burkhead and austin safarian jenkins were the two fantasy sleepers he had burkhead got hurt so who knows if he was right or wrong on that one but safarian j Jenkins, I went on DraftKings. I made my weekly DraftKings lineup yesterday. And Safarian Jenkins was the fourth highest tight end for salary. Wow. How about that? Wow.

And as my dad, I called my dad yesterday and I'm like, because he talked about the Pats game. He's like, that tight end was unbelievable. Who was that guy? Yeah, sleeper. Safarian Jenkins. I kind of like the Jets. Really hard to cover. He's like, that tight end was unbelievable. Who was that guy? Yeah, sleeper. Safarian Jenkins. I kind of like the Jets.

Really hard to cover. And, yeah, I think he got screwed. I don't know what else, you know. How many times do you watch a play before you're like, I don't have to be one of these guys that watch a play 15 times. I've seen it three times now. I saw the ball come loose. I saw what I thought I saw him to be be him recovering his own little, you know,

bobble and then falling in the end zone. Did you see anything different? I think replay is starting. We're, we're, we're crossing an invisible line with replay. The Cubs nationals game was crazy to me. And it's just,

now we're, now we're going to like one, 100th of a second to, you know, see if somebody blinked or not. It's just stupid. I don't like it. And if we're going to have it, then go the whole way and have the strike zone be instant replay and just go all the way in. You know, how many pitches have we seen in the playoffs where, you know, it's seven inches outside the plate and it's been a strike three.

The Red Sox got screwed in one of those things, but it happens almost every game. It doesn't make sense to me. We can review some stuff and other stuff. I think they've distracted the umpires by that box in front of the plate. Yeah. Or is that just something we could see?

Or is that a giant box where the pitchers either go in the corner or not? No, they have to do something. It's too much box. The pitchers either go in the corner or not. They have to do something. It's too much. And, yeah, I don't know how they overturn that. There's stuff that I think should be overturned and never gets overturned, and there's something like that that they could have said was a touchdown easily. I looked up Justin Turner's baseballreference.com page yesterday.

Just trying to figure out how the fuck he became the Jeff Kent of our generation. Well, the Mets let him go. That's why. Yeah, but it's even crazier than that. First of all, he's 32. Second, he basically bounced around the first couple years of his career and then just got let go by the Mets. But every year he's gotten better.

And that dude, you know, I've watched some Dodgers this year because they're one of the teams that's on. I like watching baseball. That dude's amazing. I always feel like he's going to get a hit in a big moment. I don't understand how he just belatedly blooms in a kick-ass dude like that. I was on the phone. You'll love this.

My friend Hershey, who I think you've met. Yeah. The huge, huge, huge, huge, crazy Dodgers fan. And I called him on Saturday. And we're just talking because we hadn't talked about the NBA season coming up. And I'm like, wow, tough blow with Seager. It happened like 15 minutes before. He's like, what are you talking about?

And I was like, Se seager he's out for the for the round two he's like stop it i'm like no it's just a it was on twitter he's out for round two he's like hold on and he goes he looks and and then he's like oh my god oh my god oh oh i gotta um i i gotta go for i to go for a walk. And he hung up on me. It was the most bummed out I've ever heard anybody over age 35 about sports. I felt bad. I felt like I blindsided him.

But this Dodgers thing, man, it's been three decades. These Dodger fans want it. I think Dodgers and Mets are like the secret, have circled back around to becoming tortured fan bases again. Mm-hmm. You don't agree? This bullpen might be unhittable. This could be the Dodgers' year.

But, you know, as long as the Yankees. We're in Brooklyn, and the Yankees are still alive. And even though they're down 2-0, it's unbearable already. Oh, the Yankees? Yeah, 2-0, it's unbearable already. Oh, the Yankees? Yeah. How can it be unbearable? They're going to get swept. You know, they don't care. They could be down

three games to nothing, 17-1 in the ninth inning, and they'll still have all the bravado in the world. Yeah. Just wait, he's going to get hot. He's only had 17 strikeouts in his last 28 bats. I'd love to see him get benched for game four. This just happens again.

They've got to bench him, right? How about batting him? Why don't you bat him eighth? Yeah, it's true. Put him at the bottom of the order. Why do you have him second? He's striking out 80% of the time. Vikings at home for the Ravens.

I can't make a lot of predictions for this weekend. One of my predictions is that I'm not going to watch a second of this game. I have the Vikings by four and a half. I really don't want to see one minute of it. What do you have? I get this one. I said six. I went a little high.

It's five and a half. And I'm with you. I just feel like I'm going to be aggravated no matter what the outcome in this one. I said six. I went a little high. It's five and a half. I'm with you. I just feel like I'm going to be aggravated no matter what the outcome in this game. They're kind of mirror image teams to some degree. And both of them

are. They're both excruciating to watch. Then finally, your beloved Dallas Cowboys flying to San Francisco. New quarterback, C.J. Bethard? What's the history of quarterbacks with acronym first names? Not good, right? A.J. Feely.

A.J. Feely. Has there been a B.J.? D.J.? What's up? Hey, if anyone knows that anyone has an acronym quarterback who's turned out email it to us

at themailbag at theringer.com I'm pretty sure AJ McCarron yeah that's a good one PJ has there been a

JR PJ J.R. DeLome no I don't know we should have thought this through does it bother you

that JJ Watts brother is TJ kind of secretly bothers me DeLome? No, I don't know. We should have thought this through. Does it bother you that J.J. Watts' brother is T.J. kind of secretly bothers me? I think it bothers him. Yeah. J.J. T.J. It's a trap game, though. Yeah.

Be careful of this game, Sal. Okay. Be careful. I want you to be careful. Well, we know it's going to be close, right? I don't know. The clapper pointed him. I don't know if he's got what it takes to stop Beathard with this defense. But I don't know.

I just kind of wish, like, Zeke, you could plea bargain in football, but you can't do it. I wish he could say, all right, I'll take four games. I'll take them right now because this team's not going to be better than nine and seven. And that might be a pipe dream, too. So he's definitely 1,000% not playing. No, I don't know that. Did they say that?

I thought he was suspended for this game. Suspenditate? Seems like he's suspended. Wow. Oh, no. I got to go. I got to go. You just did the Hershey. Cowboys minus.

It just seems too high. It should be minus three or minus three and a half. I think you're getting two extra free points. Not that I would advocate betting on the Niners, but... Right. Quick break. Talk about Bluehost. What did you say this line was?

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Losing at gambling like me and Sal every week. And now, our listeners save 50% when you sign up at Bluehost.com slash Bill Simmons. Again, Bluehost.com slash Bill Simmons. All right, four watchable games this week. Seahawks at the Giants. For some reason, this feels watchable to me. Wow. Yeah, I just, I'm just throwing this out there.

I'm not that excited about it, but I think it's worth mentioning. There is some Odell Beckham Ewing theory. Just a little. There's a touch. There's a hint of it. There's a whiff.

There's a whiff of Odell Ewing theory with this. He goes out, season's over, they go, they win the next game. Media hyped superstar. People think his impact might be bigger than it actually is.

They've never won anything with Odell. They won a Super Bowl. He wasn't on the team yet. Not a huge ton of success with him. And I don't know if I believe it or not, but I just know he fits the profile. He fits the Ewing Theory profile. And I could totally see the Giants winning this game and moving up to 2-5 and lingering for the wild card

and us having to uncross them off next week. I have the Seahawks favored by 3. I had 4.5, and this is another one that's 6. So I get that one. 6? Yeah. Look, I think last night, well, first of all So I get that one. Six? Yeah. Look, I think last night, well, first of all, I think I can't explain last night,

but if I were to try, I would say it was the perfect storm of Trevor Simeon being the Trevor Simeon we hate to see. Yeah. The defense not showing up and Eli Manning's feelings being hurt by everything that was said over the past week. And the Giants defense actually played really well. Jenkins is a top corner, might be a top three. And that's why we saw a lopsided score. That said, I think this team still sucks.

I think that's it. Seattle needs to win. The only reason I thought the line would be lower is because of the defense. There's a recipe where this is a 13-10 game, and the defense and the crowd keeps it close and all that stuff. Next one. Right. Pittsburgh home for Cincinnati.

It just feels like, at the very least, we know Vontaze Burfecht is going to get kicked out of this game. I don't know if the game will have been decided when it happens, but any time these two teams play, something bad happens. I have the Steelers by six. I kind of like the Bengals. What do you think? Well, I guess I'm on the other end because I had the Steelers by nine.

I thought this was going to be the one big one, but you're right. It's exactly six. You know why? You won't even think of putting in a teaser, but, God, Cincinnati's been so bad except for when they play the Browns. Yeah, but you can make a case since he started out slow and now they've kind of righted the ship a tiny bit. I read a couple articles about them last week where they were just like, yeah, we just had two shitty weeks to start the season, but we feel like we have our sea legs now. I don't know if I believe them, but

these... You're worried Marvin Lewis has two weeks to prepare for this. Anytime Marvin Lewis has two weeks to prepare a souffle even, he could do it. You don't want to give Marvin two weeks. I like Steelers. Bengals games are usually close. You know?

For the most part, that's a reliably close game. I thought they weren't. I was Steelers. Bengals games are usually close. You know, for the most part, that's a reliably close game. I thought they were. I was so mad I was whiffed on the spread. And I looked like Pittsburgh's 12-3 against Cincinnati this decade. But I guess the games are close, though. I guess they are pretty close. You can't make this rivalry higher than 6 or 7. So that's right.

I recant my statement then if they're 12-3. I was just throwing it out there. I recant my statement then if they're 12 and three. I was just throwing it out there. I was in first take mode. Chargers Broncos. Chargers. Home. Chargers.

Kind of. That's true. There's going to be a lot of Denver games. The Chargers are better off not being home, but they're home for this. And I have them favored by three. Yeah, you're going to get this. I was way off on this. I said Denver by four.

Well, I probably should have changed it after last night's game, but Chargers are favored by one. So it's pretty much a pick-em right now. We think Brock Osweiler or we think Trevor Simeon? Oh, man. They betterweiler or we think Trevor Simeon? Oh, man. They better do what they can to get Simeon in there,

even throwing left-handed. That's a rough transition, as bad as Simeon was yesterday. Last one. It was funny when Brock came in yesterday, though. I did enjoy it. By the way, our publicist...

Yeah, that was good. But our publicist and the Chargers publicist Louis K is buying Chargers Chargers blankets for everyone in the stadium Because he needs a good turnout Chargers blankets? He was upset with us

Yeah, you know, blanket He was upset last week that his name was He did the Marlo Stanfield My name's on the streets My name is on the streets. My name is my name. Last one. My mistress.

The Rams. Home for the Cardinals. Wow, two L.A. football games next weekend. Maybe if there's ever a weekend for us to go to L.A. football, this is, I think, the weekend. No, because you know what? You're going to have to travel a lot further than LA. This one's Twickenham Stadium in England.

Oh, it is? I was wondering. I was like, wow, the Rams have an early game on the West Coast. That's crazy, but it threw me off because it's not a 9.30 a.m. Eastern game. It's a 1 p.m. Eastern. So that means that's a night game, right, in England? Yeah. Yeah. I. Eastern game. It's a 1 p.m. Eastern. So that means that's a night game, right, in England?

Yeah. Yeah. I hope that changes anything. It certainly didn't change anything for my pick. I had the Rams by 3.5. Yeah, we both get that. We both said 3.5 and that's what it is. Twickenham is going to be rocking.

The two L.A. football teams, whether they're in L.A. or London, it doesn't affect how I was going to guess the line. All right. Sunday night, this looked like one of the games of the year before the season, and now it does not. The Patriots are home at Gillette Stadium. Gillette, the best man can get, playing the Atlanta Falcons, who are 3-2 and could easily be like 1-4

and have not looked impressive at all. And there's very Super Bowl hangover-y. I don't like any of it. But I don't like anything from what I see from the Pats either. I have the Pats favored by 4. I don't feel great about it. Well, you should feel good about your pick. It's 3-1.

I went too high i said six i don't know i just always like the patriots giving more than four at home but you think it's that close like even with atlanta losing last week that it should be that low huh i've been trying to say this for a couple weeks and people keep thinking i'm trying to reverse jinx the pats i don't know what else america to see. This is not a good Patriots team. The Brady Belichick infrastructure is in place, and Brandon Cooks is really good, and Gronk, when he can stay in the field, is really good,

and Chris Hogan's pretty good. And other than that, the secondary should be better than it is. It has not been that good. It's just not a very good team. They don't have a lot of talent. It's one of those years. We went from thinking this was a 16-0 candidate to feeling

like this is probably a 10-6 or an 11-5 candidate. But the Brady-Balachek infrastructure... Three home losses by week seven will be spectacular. I just don't see it. Josh McCown, did you see all the open receivers the Jets had yesterday and how many

third and longs they were able to complete? It's a problem. It's not an accident. It's not like the Pats were like, oh, the Jets took us by surprise. It took us a while to wake up. It's like, no, we have a bad defense. And Josh McCown can throw for 350 yards on it. It's not good.

It's a lot. Yeah, he had 375, including his rushing yards. That was a weird thing, like the Patriots. They do seem to play tough on first and second down. But then you're right. The third and long conversions is what's different from this year and last year. It shouldn't have happened as much.

Yeah, they have no pass rush, and none of their linebackers can cover in coverage. But other than that, it's fine. Monday night, it's probably the best football game of the week. Philadelphia is at home for Washington. You can make a case these are two of the best five or six teams in the league. They've already played. That game had the Kirk Cousins interception touchdown,

which I still feel like wasn't an interception. Or the fumble touchdown. I still feel like his arm was goingception. I thought, or the fumble touchdown. I still feel like his arm was going forward. I thought that was a bad call, but I have the. Yeah, that was tough. I have the Eagles by four. All right, you have to get this exactly. You're up one on me, but I picked this exactly,

and you have to get it exactly. Otherwise, we tie. You said four? Yeah. You want to rethink it? No. You're staying with four? Yeah. Four and a half. Four and. You're staying with four? Yeah.

Four and a half. Ah. Four and a half. Vegas. It was five and a half. It went down to four and a half. So we tie. There you go.

That's it. Tie. Tie. That's how I feel about this season. You and I tying. Yeah. That makes sense. Makes sense.

Are you listening to Tate and Lombardi on Saturday mornings with Lombardi's 15-minute preview of five games? I love it. I love it. He was all over this week. Tate, Lombardi did well this week. Four for five. Yeah.

And Aaron Rodgers could have hurt, so. Yeah. There you go. I like how Tate smokes the fire with the Lombardi in the Browns' front office. He knows that the man's big Italian head is going to explode. Tate's going to have to pick up the pieces. I hope you know what you're doing there, Tate.

Lombardi was all the way in 1 million percent on Deshaun Watson, more than anybody, and looks like a genius, but then was also all the way in on Doug Peterson, not being a competent coach, which I'm still not sure if he's right or wrong on that, but that Eagles team is so talented that I'm starting to wonder if anybody could be the coach, but everyone in Philly is really mad at, at Lombardi and we might have to,

you, me and Lombardi might have to fly back and, and, and just go, yeah. And just go eat cheesesteaks and try to calm the locals down because they're still mad at him. All right. Well, I'll eat the cheesesteaks for sure. But yeah, I think Lombardi's right.

I think with the head coach thing, you have to give it a year or two. I don't think everyone can calm down a little on Peterson. I agree. I have not watched Peterson and been like, wow, he's really come back to haunt Lombardi. I, when I watch the Eagles, I go, wow, that front seven is like, they, they get insane pressure. And Wentz is really good. Wentz is fantastic. I love Wentz. The story of the year that really, I know people have talked about it,

but man, if you're a Browns fan and back-to-back years you pass on Wentz and Watson, I would lose my mind. Not that they should have taken Watson first, but there's some sort of scenario where they can land Garrett and Watson. They had all these first-round picks. Yeah, for sure. They pass on every good quarterback. Who can't get one of the six that we've talked about? And they would have been in fine shape.

All right, Sal. It's time for America's favorite segment, Parent Corner. All right. A lot of people trying to sponsor this thing now. We've had some really terrible offers for as much as $250. People offering us free T-shirts. Really not at the level we were looking for for the Paracorner sponsor yet

but we've gained some of it we at least have to cover our gambling losses with a sponsor right it can't be a $30 Metro card yeah yeah we're pocketing under the table we're pocketing the Paracorner sponsor alright Sal what do you got this week

well Halloween's coming up and my boy my 9 year old Jack corner spots. All right, Sal, what do you got this week? Well, Halloween's coming up and my boy, my nine-year-old, Jack, wants to be Finn Balor. You know Finn Balor,

the wrestler, right? The problem is with these schools, they don't let you wear a costume to school where it either mask covers your face

or you have paint, your face painted up. So they told him no. And he's beside himself because his backup plan is cane. And cane has a giant mask. And so now this is a problem at our house. Yeah. And like, I feel like going to the school, I don't know what to do about this.

But like the explanation I was given is it scares the younger kids if other kids are wearing masks, which is bullshit. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. And the other thing I heard, which makes a little more sense, but I'm not buying, is that the teachers need to know who everyone is. Now, I think you know who everyone is by now. You've had these kids for, what is it, a month, month and a half now. But the kid that's chewing on his boogers and then put them under his desk, that's still Ian. That's always going to be Ian, whether he's dressed as himself or a cabbage patch doll.

So I don't know. Now we have to dress him as a hobo, and we have to go light on the charcoal on his face. So I think they need to loosen up there. That's been the school of Manhattan Beach School of Business. Wow. Tough times. Very politically correct times these days. Yeah, really. My parent

corner thing was actually a little bit about Halloween as well. My son, who has more muscle than I do right now at age, he's almost, he turns 10 in three weeks. He has, he's been playing flag football and he's been playing football every day and he's in phenomenal shape and he actually does have like remember that little hercules guy that remember that little mini hercules guy that was on the internet for a while who had those crazy muscles yeah he's not like that yeah yeah but he's definitely ripped like when he's walking around without a shirt people are always like oh my god ben he's got six six pack. So Ben, I think I'm headed toward him maybe being one of those guys who's in the gym a lot and working out and doing all that stuff.

Right. For Halloween, he's going as Zac Efron from Baywatch. Oh, that's good. And has convinced his other friend, the other Ben, Ben Williams, to be The Rock. And I think it was all a ruse because Ben just wants to trick-or-treat with his shirt off. He's becoming that guy.

So he's trick-or-treating just in a bathing suit to impress people. So then last weekend, his school and my daughter's school, they had this whole retreat thing. So they all went to Santa Barbara for the weekend. And a lot of the kids were there and everybody all day Saturday is playing football doing all stuff my daughter said Ben's shirt was off from the moment they got there and was shirtless the whole day whatever the activity was just didn't have a shirt because there were all these older girls he loves older girls and was just shirtless the entire time to the point that other people were like does ben have a shirt does he need clothes it's like no he's just he's just shirtless that's what he's doing so um it's it's been a delight and and he just really wants to break out the guns that's just

how how how he rolls that's great yeah he's's Matthew McConaughey, like 2008, right? Yeah, that's who he is. Yeah, he's going to start walking around with those really soft satin pajama pants, and that's it. So if you're in L.A. and you're wondering who the 9 1⁄2-year-old, or almost 10-year-old is, dressed as Zac Efron for some reason for Halloween, that's my son. That's him.

Wow. And he already, we should point out, he had a big flag football touchdown, right? But full length of the field, didn't he? He did. He finally broke one. And thank God he didn't do a touchdown. We were very scared about the touchdown dance celebration

because he's just, he's a profane child. He kept his shirt on, which was good. He might pull the shirt off at some point. He already bragged to Adrian Peterson that he has more touchdowns than he does. That's great. All right, we plugged the Brooklyn shows, but plug it again. Yeah, Monday, tonight, Amy Schumer, Tuesday, David Letterman, Wednesday, Howard Stern, Thursday, Billy Joel,

Woody Harrelson on Friday. They have a lot of fun out here. And on Against the Lodge this week, you mentioned it. It's you, it's me, it's House. We go over MVP, Rookie of the Year, Divisions, Teams to Make Playoffs, Bill's Gold Star pick. He already gave it out and it has gone down

to 12-1. What did you say it was? It was Kyrie Irving, right? Points per game. It was 20-1. But we have some good make or don't make playoffs, good rookie of the year, some coaches. We hit all of them. I wanted to mention the only reason I brought up the Kyrie

is just because the odds shifted on us. We were so excited about that pick when we did the pod, and then it moved. So what can you do? There you go alright Sal good job by you good job by you Billy thanks so much to SeatGeek for $20 off your first SeatGeek

purchase on NFL tickets use promo code BSNFL thanks to Gillette Gillette razor blade thinner than a single brain cell the product of many brain cells at work from the thousands of men and women at Gillette always working harder to make your shave better now you can get Gillette blades for women at Gillette. Always working harder to make your shave better. Now you can get Gillette blades for less at GilletteOnDemand.com.

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Bluehost.com slash Bill Simmons. From a podcast standpoint, we put up one with Haral Bob on the Ring Around NBA show, me and Haral Bob. We also have me and Joe House doing Future Odds on Against the Odds with Cousin Sal. And then a bunch of podcasts this week, too, on the BS. We're either doing three or four. Not sure yet. Anyway, we'll be back on Wednesday with another good one. Ta-ra.