The Bill Simmons Podcast - Guess the Lines (Year 18!) and Favorite NFL Futures With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: September 2, 2024

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to run through their favorite futures bets for the 2024-25 NFL season (2:39) before guessing the lines for NFL Week 1 (49:52). Then they close the show with Parent Corner (1:22:09). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up, it's Sunday, the NFL is coming. We're going to guess some lines. The Cuz is here. We're back, baby. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too. Miller Lite keeps it simple for us.

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That's right, Night Shift. We'll be breaking that down. It's gonna be going up Monday night. It is one of the top 20 movies I've seen the most, I think. I know that's weird, but look, it came out in 1982, as I've said many times. The movies you love when you're 13 and 14 often become your favorite movies. So Night Shift is one for me. Me and Chris Ryan, stay tuned, Monday night. And you can watch it as well on the Ringer Movies channel on YouTube. Well, you know, we're brought to you by Fandle Sportsbook.

You know, they have futures featured bets. They have futures live right now. They have the futures fusion tab that they asked Sal and I to add a bunch of custom parlay bets we like. We've been going through a bunch of them on this podcast. You can use our special boost to boost any of our picks, division, playoffs, whatever.

My favorite pick, you heard at the top, NFC South under 30 wins plus 155. So please jump on that one. And we're going to be in a little bit talking about a bunch of those bets. We're going to do a futures draft. We're going to actually draft our favorite futures

and go back and forth and see if we take one from the other, so be it. But we're going to try to do a bunch of those and then we're going to do against the Lions

week one, NFL. And then we're going to do parent corner. So there you go. One last thing before we get to Sal. You might have noticed

they put out the tweet and the date for Mr. McMahon, our new Netflix docuseries that premieres September 25th. I know I've been talking about it in this podcast for a couple of years. It's been a four-year odyssey to get this up. So it will be September 25th. I would carve out about six and a half hours if I were you, because, uh, it is something. So there you go. All right. It's time for Sal.

First, our friends from ProJet. We are officially here. Sundays are back. Cousin Sal is here. It is September 1st, my favorite month of the year. We're going to do an NFL Futures bet draft at the top. Here we go! We're going to do Guess the Lines for week one.

We're going to do some parent corner. We have a whole action-packed thing for you. So Sal, we like so many NFL Futures, we just decided to do a draft. And if we take one from the other one, so be it. So whoever goes first, then you go second and third. I go fourth and fifth.

So we get two in a row. I think we should say we're putting like 50K fake dollars on each one of these or something. Oh, really? To just see that add the tally up at the end of the year. So let me ask you then. So could I just pick first and go no undefeated teams minus 3,500? Or no, it has to be something legit.

I thought about that. I think we should try to keep it even odds or plus. And if you want to have one or two in the minus 150, minus 175 range, go for it. But we want to have fun. Let's go longer shots. That's fine. That's good. That's fine. You want to go first?

You want to go first or you want me to go first? Let's let the California lottery determine it. We'll wait till night. We'll add up the balls. It's okay. You go first. I'll go first. I'll go with my favorite future.

Yeah. So we talked about this on the NFC Over Under podcast. And I challenged FanDuel. I was like, I think the NFC South is probably going to win like, I don't know, 24, 25 games max. Put some chest hair on FanDuel. I was like, I think the NFC South is probably going to win like, I don't know, 24, 25 games max. Put some chest hair on FanDuel. Put this on your sportsbook app. Put it in Futures Fusion, the hottest nightclub in LA right now. Put it in there.

Let's see it. So FanDuel, they put up NFC South under 30 wins. So 29 and under, you win. And it's plus 155. So if the NFC South has 30 combined wins, you lose that one. I talked about it in the NFC thing. I think the NFC South

is going to be a dumpster fire. I would be shocked if anyone's even in the high 20s from this division combined. Yeah. No, of course. That's a good one. I think you added it up and it was 31, right? Is the actual number for all the wins. So they're adjusting it. Yeah, this is a good one.

I'm trying to figure out how it loses. And I think here's the case study. So Atlanta's schedule is so easy. If Atlanta just becomes like the super easy schedule, nobody believes in them. They're 12 and 5, but everybody can't wait to bet against them in the playoffs. I think that has to happen. I think that has to

happen. I think Carolina has to be maybe a little better. That's the main one. Carolina can't screw you. Everyone else will be around 7. Carolina can't be 7. That's it. They got to get out of it. There's some slight buzz with Carolina. I'm like, I don't know. Maybe

11-1 to win the division. I don't see it at all. I think they're going to be awful. Anyway, plus 155. That's my bet. You got the next two. There's another one we discussed. I really, really love this, and it pays 6-1. Exact order of finish. Detroit,

Green Bay, Chicago, Minnesota. Of course, you could switch that around. Go Chicago, Green Bay for second, third. I think he gets seven to one, but I really like what we settled on. Lions, Packers, Bears, Vikings, because I haven't been this confident in a first place team and a fourth place team finish in a while. I think we have the right one for second and third. So that's the NFC North exact order, six to one, which has been on there for

a month or so. And they have them for every division. They have every combination. That is by far my favorite one. Okay. Because really the only way you probably lose it is if Green Bay somehow is better than Detroit. And that I don't, I think that Chicago, Minnesota, three, four combo, I'm locking that in. I don't see any chance Chicago's better wins wise than Detroit or Green Bay. And you and I are both, we talked about it a few days ago. You and I are both super bullish on Detroit. Let's just commit to those two bets, the NFC South under, and what I just went over and let's watch the rest of the year. Why do we have to go crazy on ourselves? So I had that as

my third most favorite future. So you took one from me, but the plus 600 is great. So if we're doing 50K per bet and you hit that one, you'll have a lead. I will have hit my bet and still you'll be winning me. All right. What's your

other one? I'm going to go same division here. I have to decide between. I like both of these. And actually, you could take one if I do the other. I like Caleb Williams to lead the league in interceptions. Oh. 14-1. But I also like him over 11.5 interceptions.

All right, I'm going to go over 11.5 interceptions minus 112. That is asking a lot for a rookie quarterback to come in there and have fewer than 12 interceptions. But all three secondaries are pretty good. Even Minnesota's, there are some blue chippers in there. 12 interceptions is not a bad year. If he has 27 touchdowns and 12 interceptions, that's not bad at all. And he's going to make some mistakes. And if he plays less than one a game. Give me Caleb over 11 and a half INTs. What is the juice on that?

Minus 112. That's really good. I was looking at that most interceptions bet. It was, it was shocking. Josh, Josh Allen was one of the favorites. And then I looked it up last year and he had 18 picks last year. I was like, oh yeah, I forgot. Yeah.

He threw a ton of picks, but usually there's the bad QB who gets to play all the time like last year was Sam Howell and I think he might have either he finished with the most or he was right there the year before was Davis Mills so I have one for this a little later that I was looking at that I

thought was pretty nice alright so I have two in a row. I want to do one longer shot and one that I just really like but both of them are based in the AFC South. They have a little DNA in the AFC South. The division that I think both of us are intrigued by this year.

First one. Mahomes, CJ Stroud, and Trevor Lawrence, all to throw for 4,000 yards. Parlay, plus 403. So I looked at this. Lawrence has thrown for 4,000 yards

in two of the last three years, including last year when he had 100 injuries. Mahomes would have to get hurt to miss this. And Stroud, first 12 games last year, threw for 3,500 yards, missed a couple games, came back, still finished over 4,000. And now the receivers are better. And I mean, basically somebody would have to get hurt

for them to miss this. And four to one is tasty. And I was trying to, I was looking at the history of 4,000-yard throwers, which is a little easier now that we have the extra game. But there's usually between maybe 8 and 10 that do it each year. And I think these are going to be three of the eight.

So plus 4-0-3. What do you think of that one? I like that. You just need 16 games out of them, right? If someone plays 15 maybe even 15 it's a little sketchy 15 I guess you could do that's 15 is

2600 2600 game that's not bad yeah I like that alright okay and then my second one

we've talked about it a lot I picked them to make the Super Bowl they were one of my seven AFC Super Bowl picks in our AFC over under Houston to win

the AFC South, which the odds have dropped and is now dead even. It's plus 100 for them to win the AFC South. The only team I'm afraid of for this a little bit is Jacksonville, but I'm all in on this Houston team. I think CJ is going to be really

good. As I said the other day, I think if he's healthy and he has a good team, I just think he's 11 wins going forward. So the fact that this isn't minus yet, like this is plus 100, but Philly's minus 140 to win the NFC East just seems like good value. So that's my other one. Okay. I like that. I mean, I have Jaguars to win the one, cause I think it's going to come down to the last week and I'd rather have good money, but yeah. Good odds. All right, I get two here. Comeback player of the year,

Kirk Cousins. It was 5-1. You can get it at plus 430 now. I think I mentioned on the NFC pod, he had 18 touchdowns. He led the league before he got injured. I think he's going to put up good numbers with that team. Dare I say, Kyle Pitts, Drake London.

I think they're going to be okay this year. And so right there, I think we discount. I'd rather not take the Saints or Falcons or anything else to win a division, but I think Cousins will put up good numbers. I don't think Rodgers will as much and Burrow. I don't know. I don't want to count injuries

against anybody, but I think Cousins 430 is a good one. So I didn't have a comeback bet out of my 31 futures I have prepared for this draft. And the reason is

I really like Cousins at plus 430, but I also was afraid of Rodgers. And Rodgers was, what was he like, plus 220, plus 230, something like that.

Wasn't worth it. I didn't understand why they weren't the exact same odds. Because if either of them win the division, they're probably going to be the favorite to be comeback part of the year, right? So I don't know why Rodgers would be above Cousins. They had the same injury.

They're playing for these teams that are in that 9-10 win range with a chance to win the division. And I thought Cousins had the best odds. It didn't make the cut for me. I had a lot of ones I liked. Yeah, because his team's expected to win the division, where the Bengals aren't and the Jets aren't either.

There was some weird one in the comebacks. They really were throwing in everybody. Oh, yeah. They're trying to steal. You start getting 101. They're putting in people you didn't even know were still in the league. Grady Jarrett. What is Grady Jarrett? What kind of stats does Grady Jarrett have to have to win CPOY? Can you imagine week nine? We're like, I don't know, man. Grady Jarrett. What is Grady Jarrett? What kind of stats does Grady Jarrett have to have to win CPOY?

Yeah. Can you imagine like week nine? We're like, I don't know, man. Grady Jarrett. He looks like he almost has this locked up. Damn. Why don't we bet that? Tim Patrick, I think, is on a practice squad. He's 101. It's good stuff. It seems like Ricky Pearsall is going to be okay. I think he should probably be in there, right? Yeah, you're right. The D got a fucking shot yesterday. So if he has like 40 catches, I think he would have be in there, right? Yeah, you're right. The D got fucking shot yesterday. So if he has like 40 catches, I think he would have to be one of the favorites. That's interesting.

We never talked about a rookie to win Comeback Player of the Year. He can win both awards. Unbelievable. Guy's just walking around downtown San Francisco. All right, what's your other one? All right, for my second here coming around, I'm going Kenneth Walker, most rushing yards, NFC West.

Now, this is dependent probably on McCaffrey getting injured, maybe missing a couple of games. Maybe they hold them out. Maybe they're going for the one seed, whatever it is. So I need McCaffrey to miss some games. I need Kieran Williams to be named the punt returner for the Rams, which seems like it already happened. Plus 360, Kenneth Walker, right around 1,000, 1,100 yards. I have him in way too many fantasy leagues, but I'm sticking with this. I think it's a good number. Well, and then James yards. I have him in way too many fantasy leagues, but I'm sticking with this. I think it's a good number. Well, and then James Conner,

maybe him not going crazy, but I think it's a really smart one because everyone's going nuts about him. He definitely is probably the most hyped higher-end running back in any fantasy league. And then the McCaffrey, who knows? Calf, hamstrings. I like it. Plus three.

I'm surprised the odds are that high. I would have thought the odds would have been like in the plus 250 range. So those are good ones. All right. For my next two, I'm going to go Detroit for both. I'm trying to do themes with my combos.

We talked about this a bunch on our two-parter. Detroit for the one seed plus 480. I just think the value is, especially with San Francisco, bunch on our two-parter. Detroit for the one seed plus 480. I just think the value is, especially with San Francisco, with some year-from-hell potential with San Francisco and then the NFC East, I'm not sure which one comes out of there. I don't like anyone in the

NFC South. I just think the one seed's coming from the NFC North, whether it's Green Bay or Detroit. We talked about Detroit with all the indoor games, Detroit loading up, Detroit getting a taste last year, but not getting the Superbowl hangover. And I just think they're built to beat the shit out of teams this year, which ties into my, so that's plus 480. And that ties into my second one, which is Aiden Hutchinson for most sacks, 11 to one, right? So you figure

if this is, if Detroit's a juggernaut, which I think they're going to be at least for the regular season and you're having leads and the other team's throwing a lot and you're putting a lot of pressure on them and the crowd's loud. I liked the way he looked last year. And what is most sacks? Maybe he, I think he had like 11 or 12 last year. Maybe it's, maybe you get to 17 this year. Who's he competing against? Parsons, Watt, one of the bosses,

Garrett. But I think he probably needs to get to 17, 18. But on a team that's running it up, I could see it. I could see him having like a five sack game against some terrible team where they're just killing them. So 11 to one for Hutchinson.

That was my other one. He's got a little help this year. I like that. All right. I'll give you one. I think I gave this out when we did the AFC. Tyree killed 13 or more receiving touchdowns plus 360. I mentioned it. I don't understand this number. He's hit this two of the last four years. He has 13 and 15 touchdowns. He had 119 catches the last two years. He had like 34 red zone targets last year, which is insane. He scores five touchdowns, 50 yards or more every season. So I like this right there as long as he stays healthy. What's the juice on that one?

Plus 360 there. Plus 360 for 13 or more. Do you like the odor from this Miami team? I'm going to use odor is going to be my go-to word this year. Do you like the odor from this Miami team? I'm going to use odor is going to be my go-to word this year. Do you like the odor from this team this year? I was reading up on that. The odor or the owner? The owner is like Serena Williams. The odor, the smell, the vibe, the look. I mean, they're starting this week one.

They have a bunch of injuries and guys questionable already. I don't know. I know you're trying to bait. You've been baiting JJ on our text chain, but he has to defend his team like I do. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. If it's a year from hell team, Tyreek will be part of that,

and it'll be like a pulled hammy or whatever. But the plus 360, I can't argue with the juice what's your other one? Alright I'm going to go another receiver here CeeDee Lamb homer call probably most receiving yards in the NFC East plus 115 he beat AJ Brown who was second

by 300 yards last year like it wasn't even close and who are we looking at after that? Neighbors? No. McLaurin? McLaurin. Those guys aren't going to get to 1,400, 1,500 yards. Plus 115 is better than picking

a division winner, I think, in the NFC. So that's my second one. So are they saying basically it's him versus the two Eagles guys and they feel like that's dead even? Because it it feels like to me, Lamb should be like minus 150 for that. Yeah, right.

It will be after this podcast, but I would jump on that. Well, go to Futures Fusion. Drinks are half price during happy hour. Okay, I'm doing two pats for my next two. You know where I stand on this pats is and you try to talk me out of it. There's been some action on the Bengals Pats line,

which we'll talk about when we do Guess the Lines, even though we already guessed them. First one, the Pats to be the last winless team is plus 500. And if you look at their schedule, and especially the fact that they're going to play Brissette this first four weeks, they're super unhappy with how the offensive line looks.

And it just feels like they're going to start in that 0-6, 0-7 range. The other teams are Tennessee plus 750, who I don't know. I could see them stealing a game in the first month. Carolina's plus 850. People think they could just beat New Orleans in week one. Minnesota's plus 950, Giants 11-1, Broncos 13-1. So to get big action on paths to be less, when naming Brissette was their admission, we're going to suck this year. We don't even want to risk our rookie quarterback. Even though he, like Jared Mayo's like,

yeah, Mayo played Brissette. And then two days later, he's like, our starting quarterback is Jacoby Brissette. So this is a team that doesn't seem like it wants to win. Plus 500. All right. I mean, this is the theme, right? I have to defend my team to the end.

And you have to say that yours is going to be terrible. Let's just get ready for it, people. This is what our year is going to look like. Well, we are terrible. It's not like I'm going to have to go out on a limb. It's going to be a bad team. The only thing I'll say is I think we looked it over in the NFC. So the Giants play the Vikings this week.

And it's a murderous schedule for Minnesota if they lose this. Not great for the Giants either. And I think you can get 950 and 11-1 for both of those two. But I mean, yeah, Patriots will be right in there. Yeah, Minnesota was another one I was looking at because it already seems like, you know, things are moving against them. They've had some injuries.

They have, I don't know what happens with Addison. Like Goodell just decides after week two, he's now on that you cannot play anymore list. But they go Giants, San Fran, Houston, at Green Bay, Jets, by Detroit, and then at Rams week eight. I was looking at them too. It's insanity. But yeah,

well, we'll talk about them and the Giants. But it does feel like whoever wins that game, the loser is probably the Pats competition for that bet. All right, sticking with the Pats

for this second one. Pats under 4.5. And then Seattle over 8.5 wins. I really like the Seattle team. And I think they might be coming up later

with a couple more bets for me, but I like everything I'm reading, everything I'm hearing. I like their roster. I like that they actually have a home field advantage or on paper they at least do. I like the first game, week one, start now. They're going to be favored.

They should take care of business. And I just think they're a nine or a 10 win team. So that plus Pats under four and a half is three to one plus 300. And instead of betting Seattle, I would just rather throw the Pats in there because the Pats aren't going five and 12.

So that's my second one. Not bad. Is this on the Futures Fusion or the Guess the Lines with Bill and Sal section of FanDuel? It might even be both. Both bars are open. Our kids are going to get kicked out of futures fusion for showing fake ID, aren't they? Yeah. Zoe just got a fake ID to get into futures fusion, I think, is what's happening.

It's not going to work. It doesn't work. All right. We get minus. Oh, good. Yeah. We're taking a break. We did a lot of things. We'll come back. We'll finish the futures draft. Then we'll do guest lines.

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Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research.

And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you could still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event, or set your own goal and mow your own way. Do great things this November. Sign up now. Just search Movember. All right, we're going to continue the futures draft. I think it's going pretty well. Yeah, we haven't lost anything. Let's go. Yeah, you haven't lost any money.

We're just throwing fake money around left and right. What do you got next? I can't believe you don't like this or haven't picked this because you're anti-Patriots and pro-Lions. Guess the Lions with Bill Sal,

our very own section, has Lions' best record, Patriots' worst record, 36-1. I'm going for it. Taking a stab here. And at $50,000, I think that pays, I don't know, $36 billion. Something. Somewhere in there.

I had it. I had it later. I like those other two. And I already did the Lions for something. But yeah, I got to be honest. I don't know why that's so high. 36-1? that's so high 36 to 1 where it's like on the one hand the alliance team that i think the chiefs is the only real competition for that one seed if you really believe in the lions and then the pats so i think it's they're one of the

three worst teams no question i thought that would be like 12 to 1 so great odds well there's about three teams in contention on both sides. And I'm also sticking with the Guess the Lines with Bill Sal section. At least three of Falcons, Texans, Chiefs, and Jets to make the playoffs. This is a heavy VIG. I'm not doing anyone any favors at minus 160, but you could get all four. There's a way to get all four for sure. Falcons, Texans, Chiefs, and Jets.

Three of them are favorite to win their divisions. Yeah, so I'm trying to think, what is the juice on that? Minus 160, so I apologize. No, I like that. Yeah, so KC locked them in. Atlanta is a little dangerous, and then

they're basically banking that maybe Houston and Jacksonville don't make it. So, yeah, that's fair odds. I like it. It's not even to win the division. Atlanta, I like your thing where they all go under, but could they get a wild card? I guess.

Well, I should add that I have all four of those teams to make the playoffs. And in fact, my next pick is the Jacksonville Jaguars. So this is an adjusted all win total because their all total

is eight and a half, which you and I both went over. We had a lot of acrimony in our AFC over-unders, but then we actually, we bonded over the Jaguars. We both liked them a lot. They're over nine and a half wins.

And again, credit to Raheem because he's been all over the all win from the get-go. If you like somebody, you're better off really liking them and getting better juice. So Jags over nine and a half wins is plus 176. And I got to 10 and seven and I hit that. And I think they can go 10 and seven. And I actually think they will unless somebody gets injured. So I love that one. Staying in the AFC South, um, Stroud, most passing yards plus 700. And I think his competitions probably Dak, right?

Dak, if he plays all 17 and they're going to throw the ball a lot, especially with no running backs, I think would be the other one to look at. But I just think, I think Stroud's going to wing the ball around and you know they got Mixon and Pierce and Akers are running back like it's not like

they're going to be rushing for 3,000 yards I think they're going to want to throw the ball and move it make big plays and strike big don't have to worry

about weather he's probably just going to get better I like that 7-1 I like the odds alright you're up alright

I'm going to go in under quarterback. Sam Darnold, under 34, 75 and a half, so he's got to start these games now for the Vikings with McCarthy out. It's minus 112. I think he could get yanked. They could do something weird in there, right? You see the Vikings, what'd they do last year?

Who'd they have in there? We loved them for a month, and then he was- Josh Dobbs. Josh Dobbs. Jaron Hall got a cup of coffee in there. There's somebody else terrible. Kirk Cousins. There's a Josh Dobbs. There's a Jaron Hall in

there. There's plenty of those. I don't know if he makes it to the finish line. He might not get to 3,500 even if he plays all 17 games. So Sam Darnold under 34, 75 and a half. He'll maybe have a couple of good weeks to start and get everyone excited, but that'll be that.

I really like that one. That's a great one. Congratulations. Great value here. Well, just look at those unders for, you know, you don't have to go brag about it when these guys get injured or whatever, but a lot of good unders for guys who might get yanked or injured in that quarterback spot.

I love this one. Fandel has assistant coach of the year. Ben Johnson, offensive coordinator for the Lions. We love the Lions. This guy's coming second or third in this voting for the last two years. You can get him at 9-1. If you think the Lions are going to be explosive, as I do, and I think you do, it's got to be his year at some point.

He gets votes. He got like 65 votes last year. Is this bed in a speakeasy in the Futures Fusion basement? I didn't even know where to find this. What is it under? It's on the rewards. Check it out. Yeah, it's right there on the

awards. I somehow missed it. For the Patriots. What was that? Van Pelt or something? He was like 250 to one. When you sent that to me, I thought you were kidding. I didn't realize that was an actual word

that people could get on. I got a Photoshopper here. Yeah. Oh my God. So those are my two. I probably have the wrong state downloaded. So Ben Johnson's nine to one.

Who's his competition then? Nine to one. Some awesome defensive coordinator. The problem is it's been defensive coordinators the last few years,

so he's got to get over that for sure. But I got to figure, I don't have it up here, but let's see. Real quick. Wait, real quick.

Bobby Slowick for the Texans is 9-1. The OC for them. Yeah. Drew Petsing for the Cardinals. No, a guy named Drew Petsing is going to win. I'm sorry them. Yeah. Drew Petzing for the Cardinals. They've got a guy named Drew Petzing

who's going to win. I'm sorry. Great stuff. Okay. My next two, both overs. Fun to have the overs. I don't want to get too negative as they dive into the season, like having some teams to root for. We talked about both of these teams

when we did our pod. The Chargers over eight and a half. I'm all in on Harbaugh. It's going to come down that week one, they're playing the Raiders and you like the Raiders. I like the Chargers. And I think if they can win that one, they're off. And then Green Bay over eight and a half. So they're over nine and a half, but this is an over eight and a half. So both teams to win nine games, Chargers, Packers, three to one plus 300. Put that together. Sounds great. Cause I'm not worried about the Packers for the Packers to lose that. They'd have to have a losing record. They have way too much sound to have a losing record. So basically you're betting on the

Chargers over anyway, but you get to throw the Packers in there at a nice price. That's one. Well, I don't even need, they don't even need to make the playoffs, right? Right. You can go nine and eight and you're good. All right. I like that. I'm going against the NFC South again. This is, I'm planting my flag in the NFC South sucks island. NFC East, more wins than the NFC South. Minus 175. I think this is my only minus future.

It's in to have a bunch of, they put that in futures fusion. Oh my God. You just got to ask. It's where the tequila is.... They put that in futures fusion. You just got to ask, which one of the tequila is. What a bounty this is. This is top shelf. This must be top shelf futures fusion. Yeah. So I was going through it and let's say the Giants and the Panthers, let's just cancel them out. Let's say they win the exact same amount of games. I think Washington is better than anyone who doesn't win the division in the NFC South. And now I have the Eagles and Cowboys against the top two in the NFC South. And I'm winning with those.

I'm getting 20 plus wins out of the Eagles-Cowboys. I'm not getting 20 plus wins out of any two NFC South teams. So minus 175. 175. So the NFC East over-und unders are probably, um,

20. They're probably like three or so. Right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Somewhere in there. All right.

I like that. Yeah. That's good. All right. Is that your second pick or first? Yeah. That's my second. Oh,

listen, the Rams, I don't know how they do it, but Sean McVay gets, I don't know if it gets lucky or that it's a great GM, but there's always somebody, whether it's a third round pick or first round pick jumps out. Karen Williams in his second year,

we saw Cooper Cup as a third round pick and just these guys. And of course, Puka Nakua set the record. Jared Vers is the guy this year, the defensive end for Florida State. He's going to win defensive rookie of the year at 10 to one. And everyone's going to be like the next Aaron Donald and everything. You know, they don't really play the same position. 10 to one for Jared verse. Uh,

I like it. So who, who could beat him then? Uh, I have one, I have a different rookie of the year pick. So I know I have a zag on that one, but I liked,

I liked the odds on that. We could save for that. Uh, and I'll just go because you're going chargers at exactly the same amount. I'm going Raiders over eight and a half, except I get a plus two 40, uh, Minshew O'Connell. I think they'll figure same amount. I'm going Raiders over eight and a half, except I get a plus 240. Minshew, O'Connell, I think they'll figure it out. I know you hate this one,

but I have to take a shot on one of them. Raiders over eight and a half plus 240. So that's an adjusted. Right. Okay. Thank you, Raheem. I don't understand the Raiders case at all. I don't get it.

And I heard Raheem on East Coast bias shitting on the Steelers as having a good defense, but he doesn't understand their offensive line and how they're going to score points. And this is the year Mike Tomlin doesn't have it. And then 20 minutes later, he's like, the Raiders, I know they're going to struggle on offense, but I like their defense.

I'm like, the Raiders are the discount Steelers. There's no way, how can the, you can't make the case for one and not the other. So I don their defense. I'm like, the Raiders are the discount stealers. There's no way. How can the... You can't make the case for one and not the other. So, I don't know. I agree. I got mad at Raheem. I'm walking along LA. I'm like, goddammit, Raheem! Don't get mad at Raheem. Don't get mad at Raheem. But if you have to

pick three teams to replace last year's playoff teams, you're going to have to have like a six and a half win projected in there somewhere. That's where I'm at. On that note, I think there's going to be three NFC West playoff teams.

And you can bet on that on FanDuel Sportsbook. And it's plus 550. And I would assume it's going to be San Francisco, Seattle, and the Rams. I'm not going to completely rule out the Cardinals, especially with that week one in Buffalo. It looks a little upset-ish.

But I just don't like the NFC. And if you've got Green Bay and Detroit, and you've got one NFC South team, that's it. That's only three teams. And then if it's Dallas versus Philly for one spot in the NFC South team, that's it. That's only three teams. And then if it's Dallas versus Philly for one spot in the NFC East, and then I got my three NFC West teams, that's my path. So plus 550, I like the odds. I don't mind that. And I feel like you could hedge that week 17. You could probably week 18. You can get one game probably. I can't wait to unsuccessfully hedge it

where I have three options and I'll somehow pick the wrong one. Then the other probably. I can't wait to unsuccessfully hedge it where I have three options and I'll somehow pick the wrong one. Then the other one, I just, I don't understand the odds, especially when we're all in all these fantasy drafts and he's been the first running back taken in all of them.

And yet Brees Hall to win the rushing title is plus 950. And I don't understand why the odds aren't better. Because if you told me pick somebody to win the rushing title just with no odds just who do you think is going to win the rushing title

I would pick Brees Hall so plus 950 sounds fantastic sign me up not bad, talk about a category where only like 3 guys can win if you've done any drafts this year you know that that's, that's the case. Three might be too many,

but yeah, I like plus nine 50. Do you, do, why do you think it's that high? I don't know. Um, I have no idea.

I think they're laughing at us. Like you try to figure out which running backs good. Now we're going to have some guy you've never even heard of. You can jail and write or something. So the odds are McCaffrey plus six 50 Bijon seven one, who by the way has Algier on his team, who's going to still get a lot of carries.

Taylor 8-1, Brees 9-1, Barkley 10-1, Derek Henry 11-1. I feel like that's my crazy future. I guess because McCaffrey is like the bell cow, right? So it's just tough to overcome that. But yeah, one team is out of the way.

Alright, you're up for two. Listen, let me just go with Jaden Daniels. I think I said it on the NFC podcast. Offensive Rookie of the Year. Take all his overs. I gave you Stroud last year for O'Roy. It's going to be Jaden Daniels. He's going to be dynamite.

Lots of fun to watch. He didn't give the odds. The odds are incredible. Six to one. Oh, they're six to one, right? Yeah. Yeah. So Caleb is like Still? Yeah. Yeah. So Caleb is like plus 130 range.

Right. And Daniels is six to one. And I don't understand. They're both going to have the ball a ton. They're both going to run around. Daniels has higher scramble potential. Yeah. And both teams are going to score points.

Washington has a bad defense, so they're going to be getting the ball back. Six to one. It hasn't moved either. It hasn't moved for three weeks and I don't really fully understand it. He's going to be dynamite to watch. Yeah. I'm excited for him.

I just get that. And then I'll, I'll just, uh, throw this in there. No one's going to like this Superbowl winner and MVP Detroit and Dak 200 to one. Put me down for 50 grand. Go ahead. Your turn. You know, I saw those bets and I have 200 to 1. Put me down for 50 grand. Go ahead. Your turn. You know, I saw those bets and I have one coming later. That's 200 to 1, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, those are fun. So basically, they don't even have to correlate. Like Dak could win the MVP and it doesn't mess up the other line. Chiefs and Lamar Jackson, right? I mean, it didn't matter. Yeah. All right. We can start

going fast. So I got Denver over five and a half wins that I'm also going to put with New England under four and a half. And that's plus 270. There's been a lot of buzz on that Broncos line being like a win too low. And I think we're all staring at it.

I just don't see Sean Payton going less than seven and 10. Like he went eight and nine last year and we watched all those games. I have no idea how that team went eight, nine. There's going to be four games where he just outcoaches somebody. So over for that with the Pats, that's plus two 70. And then, uh, we haven't mentioned him yet. Marvin Harrison, the rookie receiving yard title, which I guess he's competing as neighbors and Michael Thomas and a dunesay, plus 150. Why is that a plus in front of that? Like Marvin Harrison's winning the rookie yards title

if he doesn't get hurt. So plus 150, sign me up. Sounds great. Everybody loves that. I took Keon Coleman at much higher odds because Bill bills receivers are going down. Josh Allen's going to have the year that I think he's going to have. He's got to

get it to someone. So, but yeah, that's probably the smart one. Okay. What do you got? All right. Let me see what's left here. Okay. I'll go. Am I going to have more futures left than you? No, no. It's just like tapping. It's like we're at Fugu to Chow. I'm trying to get you to tap out.

I just have a lot of the same stuff. Ravens to score a touchdown every game. I gave it out on our AFC pod. It's fine. You can redo those. It's happened once in 93 games where they didn't score a touchdown. 93 games.

You have to go back to 2017, December 22 against the Browns. It's such a fluky thing. So much talent. Maybe there's bad luck in a rainy December game but put me up for that one.

What are the odds on that one? I'm sorry. You keep forgetting the odds. Minus 115. Minus 115. So throw that in there. That's nice action. Okay.

So that's one of those where you're watching it and it's like week 11 and they're playing Cleveland and there's a fourth fourth and they're playing Cleveland and there's a fourth down and goal line stand. There's a pick in the end zone.

They're inside the 10 three times. They don't score. They settle for field goals and you're like, oh my God. This is how I'm going to lose this? I put a lot on it because I have a problem but also because I want to be able to keep track of it. I don't want some loser on Twitter to remind me, oh, what happened to your

Raiders not scoring? I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, shit. I forgot I had that. I'm going to be fully invested in that. Great, Len. Well, you don't like the Cowboys over. Cowboys over. This is a Bill Sal thing right there on Fandle. Over 9.5. Jaguars over 8.5 plus 230.

That's the bill. So combo. So, all right. So you like the Cowboys. We're in. All right. Two to you or two to Luke.

I feel like you're going to tap out soon. This is, we should have called this the Fogo to child draft. I'm still on green, but green. What was that time? We went to Fogo with Brad and he wouldn't turn the, well,

one time I was with you, you've taken a bunch of times, our crazy friend, Brad, where he wouldn't turn the card over. And then he just started moaning and he left and he went to the bathroom and wasn't seen for 25 minutes. And it was a biohazard. He sprinted to the bathroom. We went a few weeks ago, I had him at my house and he said, he went to the bathroom and I was like, the kids. I had him at my house and he said he went to the bathroom. And I was like, the kids have to, I sent one of the kids to check on him because that's what you got to do. And he said some guy was yelling at him in the bathroom. He's like, dude, what's going on?

Are you all right? Because he was doing just that. He was moaning too much. Don't moan too much in the stall. It's going to, you're going to draw attention to yourself. Yeah. Don't moan in a public restaurant. Moaning is usually, there's no good scenario. Either it's a biohazard or somebody's having sex,

maybe with themselves. Will you tell the other Brad stories since he just stayed with you? Brad came over and he said, he's on this, some kind of, I don't know if it's medication or what, but he said his dreams are just wild now. He's like, you wouldn't believe the adventures I'm going on, Randy, just at the beach or whatever. I'm in a car. I'm flying off a cliff. It's madness. I was like, oh, well, you got to maybe change your medication. He's like, no, no, I like it. I'm like, really? He's like, you know what helps it along? Cotton candy. But it's only a specific kind of cotton candy. So we had to, after dinner, go to CVS to get this cotton candy. He gets three buckets full. They luckily had it. And then he just loads up on cotton candy and goes to sleep and just has night terrors all through the night. It's spectacular.

And your kids could hear him just screaming and yelling? Yeah. It's like fireworks, but it's like three in the morning and you don't know when it's going to stop. But the wife wasn't as big a fan. I was entertained and so were the boys. So there you go. We should mention Brad's in his mid-50s. Yes, he is. Yeah, early mid-50s. We should hope he gets to mid-50s.

Physically, he's in his mid-150s. Right. I wouldn't count him in any of these futures. That's for sure. Two quick ones for me. Seahawks playoffs is plus 168. And I like it more than they're over. Because if you're betting they're over,

nine wins might make the playoffs in the NFC anyway. And I get a lot more juice in that playoff. So plus 168, I like that. And then I mentioned the Lawrence 4,000 yards bet before. You can just bet that straight up. It's plus 150. And that's just, he has to get hurt for him not to hit that. And I don't know why those odds aren't lower.

So I got those two. Back to you in the FOGO draft. Who's tapping out? All right, not yet. Three AFC East playoff teams at six to one. If anybody wants to shut me up about Aaron Rodgers and the Jets, it's right there for you because, you know. Realistically, 6-1 plus 600.

So, FanDuel has them right around 10 wins anyway. So, we'll check that box. And let me give this. 6-1 seems high. We did that Winspool draft that we finally brought back and all three of those teams were in the first 12 picks.

They disappeared. What did you get for NFC West? What were the odds? Around the same. Yeah, it was plus 550. But the NFC is weaker than the AFC. Right, right. It's probably a better bet. And you mentioned Trevor Lawrence. Five or more touchdowns plus 420. He had five in 2022.

He had four last year, and he sat out a game and a half. He averages about 70 carries a year. He takes it at the goal line every now and again. So if you get five or more touchdowns adjusted, plus 420 for Trevor Lawrence. Jesus. That seems really high.

Yeah. Plus 420. Okay. Okay. I really like this one. I can't believe it's still on the board. You had him earlier as the under, which I think was a smart bet.

Sam Darnold for passing yards. Yeah. I present to you the alternate scenario. What if Sam Darnold plays all 17 games? Is there a better bet on most interceptions? Because his odds are 10 to 1 on FanDuel. And I was looking at it. I was studying the interceptions from the last few years.

It's somewhere between like 15 and 19 is the range. But you figure with them, like they're playing Detroit twice. They're playing Green Bay twice. Chicago's got a good secondary. A couple of outdoor games. If you put him trying to squeeze in and adjust to Jefferson, 10-1 seemed pretty tasty. He has the track record, too, of bad decisions.

I like that. All right. So maybe we bet both. Maybe we bet like... It's almost like a hedge against your other one, but we're getting massive juice on both. Yeah, like a million

on the under passing yards and 300 grand on 10 to 1 for most interceptions. One of them's got to hit. I like that. And then, we've mentioned them a couple times,

but... And this is the sucker bet of the year. I know everybody's taking it. I can't believe I can still get it at 10 to one, but Jim Harbaugh to be coach of the year is 10 to one. All you have to do is read any of the articles.

Anyone is writing about the chargers the last two months and the interviews with the players and how they're just like talking about how the culture's changed. There's accountability. Now it's like every code word that I'm all in on in the preseason. So you figure with basically no receivers you'd want in a fantasy draft other than Josh Palmer, with Baltimore's cast-off running backs, with Herbert on a bad foot, although it seems like he's okay,

and then this defense that they're trying to rejuvenate, and no home field advantage. They're playing the Raiders in week one at home, and there's going to be more Raider fans there. And him going 9-8, 10-7. Mike McDonald would be the other one I was worried about, but 10-1, I love those odds. So there you go. Here's the only thing I thought.

These guys are all around the same odds. If Ibrahim Floos, Harbaugh, and Raheem Morris all win 10 games, who gets it? Probably Harbaugh because they were five wins last year, right? All right. And then the NCAA takes it from him

or he gets the key. I don't know. I'm not sure. All right. Let me give a couple more here. I thought you would turn the card over. No, no, no. I mean, I could always keep going.

Tyree Kill plus 750 Offensive Player of the Year. We're always around week 14 if he started. If he's still healthy. Like, well, why are Tyreek Hill and McCaffrey not in the conversation for MVP? It's like, well, because, you know, non-quarterbacks don't get MVP. They just don't. So I think if it's Hill or McCaffrey, I know you have Jefferson back this year,

but we don't love Sam Darnold who's throwing him the ball. So I really think it's between those two every year. So give me Hill plus 750. I like it. Offensive player of the year. He just got voted best player in the league by his peers. So he did, right? Plus 750 seems fair.

Oh, I might be out. You're right. I might be out. You're tapping out. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Oh, this is great. Oh, crap. Eagles, no out. Wait a minute. This is great. Oh, crap. Eagles, no playoffs, plus 225. You're scrambling now. Now you're running off to the bathroom with Brad.

You're going to lose to Brazil. In Brazil. What are the odds on that? Plus 225. Go ahead. You win. I'll tap for now. I win. I'm so excited. excited man i had a couple more that i really liked go ahead while you go i mean you could finish well i'll do two more and then i'll do my runners up yeah i had murphy for defensive player of the year rookie at 11 to 1 the seattle

beast in the middle i have have not read one thing about him that didn't seem like he was going to be awesome. Plus, you know how much I love the, I fell to 16 and I can remember the eight guys who got taken in front of me. Like he's one of those guys potentially. Good defense, good coach. So I'm in on him.

And then my last one. Oh, this is a fun one. I have some other ones I like, but we can end on this one. Because you did this version of this. CJ Stroud to win the MVP and Detroit to win the Super Bowl, 110 to 1. Yeah. So the Detroit part, we've already discussed that a million times. CJ Stroud to win MVP. I think they'd have to be a one or a two seed.

They'd have to win 11 or 12 games. I think he would have to throw for over 4,500 yards and have like 33 TDs, five picks. There's a case. He was top five last year. Yep. So I just thought those year. Yep. So, I just thought those odds were fantastic. those are my two.

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to do, why don't we do it this way? Because those odds are ridiculous. You get over 100 to 1 odds on any of these. If we pick four teams and four players

and just match them, I think we're in it. We're in it in the last couple weeks of the season. For sure. if you like Detroit to win the Superbowl, you might as well do for the MVP odds with them and try to, cause there's only four guys who have a chance to win the MVP

probably unless Josh Allen is awesome. All right. The ones I left on the table, best record Detroit was 10 to one, uh, Detroit over Houston in the Superbowl. It has to be exact. That was 90 to one. That's my Super Bowl pick. The Detroit and Kansas City to be the one seeds. 26 to one. Wow. Wow.

You want to take that one for the last pick? Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. All right. That's good. I'm going to give that one to you.

26 to one. Who else would you take to be the one seed? In the AFC? No, just in general. If you were like, hey, you can bet your life there will be two one seeds. Who are you betting your life on? I would bet on Detroit and KC.

26 to one. That would be it. I mean, I like Buffalo a little more than KC, but I just think they're going to beat them in the playoffs. TJ Watt, defensive player of the year, is plus 700. If you're using that, Miles Garrett on Cleveland, being on an awesome defense where you're the best guy, sometimes that propels it up. Pittsburgh's D is really good.

Stay healthy, obviously. And then two Niners. If Niner's season from hell is in play, Niners under 9.5 wins is plus 260. And you could also go Seattle, Rams, San Francisco, Arizona, 1, 2, 3, 4 exact, 20-1. Seattle, Rams,

Niners. So you're saying San Francisco is going to have a super disappointing year and barely get into the playoffs at 9-8, something like that, and fall behind the Rams and Seattle wins the division 20-1. That is what I do. I do have a, I do have them second in that division, but that's not bad.

That's not bad. I love them under 11 and a half too. Well, that was it. The first annual NFL futures draft presented by futures fusion and Fogo to chow, who didn't even know they were going to be involved in the podcast. We went,

they had no idea what a win for them. They're like, this is great. You know what, they need a win after Brad's visits. So I think we feel like we owed Fogo to Chow after what happened. We're even now, Fogo. All right, we take a break and do Guest Alliance. RPC has helped millions of young Canadians turn their most likelies into most definities, making their ideas happen with scholarships, internships, and skill development,

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and I don't know how I do it, but I genuinely avoid them all through the summer. And then once we got to like about eight, nine days ago, I was like, not only do I want to see the lines because I want to bet a couple things early, but I know I'm going to end up seeing them. So I sent you a bunch of guesses. Tell us specifically why you had to see them.

Because you're like, I got to bet against the Patriots. That Bengals teaser isn't going to be there much longer. I wanted to put the Pats in a tease. The preseason made me so bad. I'm just betting against them in week one. And by the way, I feel no guilt about it I want the Pats to be bad this year anyway every year since 2007 so

this is our 18th year together we've been catching the lines this started in well you started even earlier than me what was it with Darren? I did with the parlay kid yeah we used to do it in college he used to hide in a closet so his girlfriend now wife didn't hear him talking gambling. But yeah, so now here we are. Yeah. So when I moved to LA in 2002, we had desks next to each other in the Jimmy Kimmel

Live offices, which are still there. And then week one, we got the USA Todays out. We did Guest Aligns. And then I left the show and we would just do it on the phone. Right. And I think I have in a column from somewhere, I was like, this would be the greatest radio show, me and Sal guessing the lines. I sound like I'm insane. But when I got the podcast in 2007, that fall, we immediately started with Guess the Lines. Yeah. You said greatest radio show. I was like, no, no, podcast. You're like, what is that? I'm like, pod what?

Yeah. And then I explained to you, I was like was like, it's going to turn out good for you. So, yeah. All right. So it's, this is, this podcast has a lot of history. We've done it all over the place. It was the podcast that got me suspended from ESPN for three weeks, which I'm still mad about 10 year anniversary coming up. Anyway, we guessed the lines.

I usually win. I don't remember the last time you've won. I don't know. I haven't beaten you in a while. I don't think so. I feel like I'm ready, though. I lost a lot on college football yesterday. Screw you, Texas A&M. It's like when you over-eat

appetizers and you still have a strip steak coming. I'll put it away, but let's do it. Thursday night, opening night in Kansas City, the Kansas City Chiefs are playing the Baltimore Ravens. And I guessed minus four for this game. And what did you have? I had minus four as well. And it's minus three. So we

tie. Should we stop start so we just tied well so so what are the reasons why do you think this dropped you know what happened this thursday game was almost always an automatic four for the favorite for the incumbent you know and now it's like your team kind of ruined it you beat the chiefs on the road. The Chiefs beat you on the road, right? Patriots was a Thursday night game years ago. Last year, it was three and a half against the Lions, and they lost the Chiefs. So it's obviously not the end of the world,

but I don't know why there would be a lot of Ravens backers here. The last four years, they kind of started messing around with it in the late 2010s. And then this decade, they've gone back to having with it in the late 2010s. And then this decade, they've gone back to having the Super Bowl champ host the first game. Detroit beat KC by one last year. Buffalo killed

the Rams 31-10. The Bucks beat Dallas by two but did not cover. That was a really fun game. And then KC in 2021 beat Houston 34-20. They're the only team that's covered in the last four years. So this used to be an automatic. Something shifted. I guess the question for me is Ravens revenge game or should we be worried about the Ravens game? Because it feels like it's going one way or the other.

Yeah. Well, that's my only thing with the Chiefs over wins and one seed. They now know they can win on the road. They now know they don't have to win the first game. They could be like 11-6 after. So nothing really bothers them, but you're right. This is a test for the Ravens. They get beat up here.

You think, wow, that's a tough AFC North they have to go through after this. Do you think this is the last chance this week to grab Mahomes futures? Almost like when, you know, like whatever that Amazon day is, or when you go on some website, it's like 50% off next two days. And then everything goes back to full price and you go back there. You go in a store and it's like, oh fuck, I should have gotten that shirt. Because all the Mahomes, the MVP, anything involving him is the best price you're

ever going to get right now. And he has a billion primetime games. I think we said they play every day of the week, except Wednesday this year. So yeah, you're right. His visibility is higher than anybody else's. So what is it still? Plus 450? Usually gets six to one for MVP. Yeah, you've said this

every year that just bet Mahomes for MVP. It's basically like a mutual fund. That's right. Yeah, it'll work. Friday night, we're going to Brazil. Wow. There's some weird internet rumors about this game over the weekend that it might be canceled because of the smog that then turned out to be misinformation. Go figure. Oh, really?

But we have the Eagles and the Packers on a Friday night in Brazil. The NFL has crossed a line that they always said they would never cross. We never want to go against high school football. Friday night is sacred. We're never going to do it.

Goodell's imperialism is like, F this. We waited around you high school kids. You can play Wednesday if you want. Sorry, guys. Yeah, he's basically, Goodell is Ted DiBiase now. Right. He's like, everyone's got a price. Friday night,

8 o'clock in Brazil, cut me a check. Do you think the NFL will play a game in Abu Dhabi in the next three years? Because my bet would be yes. Maybe not three, but yeah. Yeah, I'm sure they'd have to figure it out. Because I heard that Team USA played two games over there and got like 40 million for the Team USA program. Those two basketball games they played. The boxing's going over there and got like 40 million for the Team USA program, those two basketball games they played.

The boxing's going over there all the time. UFC, like anywhere in Saudi Arabia. And I just... At some point, Goodell's not going to be able to turn it down. There's no way. Well, so the Europe thing, we know for sure they're trying to get a team in there, right?

Yeah, or like a little four-team division or something. Yeah, something's going on. Are they doing that with South America too? Are we going to, is that the, because then I would think Abu Dhabi might just be a waste. Well, I'm just, it should be a straight paycheck. There's $300 million for one game.

Anyway, Eagles, Packers, and my pick was Eagles minus one and a half over the Packers. What did you have? I went slightly higher. I said two and it's two and a half. So you hit that one. Listen, I always win the first week and it doesn't matter. But I want a big Dom.

I don't know if big Dom is ready to handle the hooliganism in Brazil. The Eagles. Remember the security guy? He's back. He's back. He got promoted or something. Got a slap on the swollen guy? He's back. Then you get like a He's back. A raise. He got promoted or something. Got a slap on the swollen wrist and he's back. It's like assistant GM or something crazy.

I thought the more I stared at this game and the only reason I could see the Eagles being minus two and a half was they're pretty good. They're 6-0 in their last two Septembers. Green Bay's got banged up running backs people are worried about.

Other than that, I have these two teams even in my head. And I don't know why this isn't a pick-em. I know I'm going to end up talking myself into the Packers. I think there's some tea stuff with them. Maybe bringing them back to plus eight and a half.

But this would violate my rule. I told you I was going to do five days ago. Don't bet on any of these fucking games. I read this story about AJ Brown was saying, I'm just not leaving my hotel room. I'm not leaving the entire time we're there. Weird shit happens when you go to these countries. These are hard to bet on. This is a bad deal for Philly, especially if they lose, obviously. I don't know. You want to give up one of your home games and go to Brazil against a good

team to start off. It's a, it's, I mentioned Texas A&M, but it's like, Hey, watch what everybody's doing. They're 40 point favorites. All these college powerhouses just don't play anyone good. The first couple of weeks. Right. But don't play in Brazil.

Our Sunday marquee game. Oh, by the way, Brazil banned Twitter. Right. So anyone who covers this game won't be able to tweet. So I don't know how we're all going to survive. How are we going to find out what happens? There's no way. Now I'm going to have to actually watch the game instead of Twitter.

Sunday marquee game could have gone in a lot of directions. But, you know, it's your team. Tom Brady's announcing for the first time ever. Right. It's Deshaun Watson against Dak. There's injured guys on both sides. Cleveland's not going to have Nick Chubb. They're not going to have a left tackle. They might have more offensive line injuries. You don't have Bland. Cleveland's D was really good at home last year, 13.9 points per game at home, 29.6 on the road. Your team has a big bullseye on it. Everyone's talking.

Always. Yep. And I think it's the marquee game, right? That's fine. I'll take that. There are some others I'm interested in, but yeah. In Cleveland, Browns, Cowboys, and I have the Cowboys favored by one and a half over the Browns. Well, I hit this exactly. You forgot to implement the Cowboys tax. You'll remember. You'll remember. It's two and a half, and I said two and a half. But you just got to think the big money isn't coming in on the Browns just yet, even at home. I think that's fair, two and a half. Although I could see Cleveland stealing this too. Here's the problem with betting Cleveland.

Well, A, they're not going to be able to run the ball. But you're like, no, no, Browns, home dog, round one. And then Deshaun sails his first pass over somebody's head. And you're like, what did I do? He's just walking off. To me, this is a stay away. I don't know what to make either of these teams. I don't think I would be betting on this game.

I'll be watching it. It's so bad because I obviously have to defend my Cowboys against people like you and Hench. Just cannot see that the regular season is different from postseason, but whatever. Then I have Cleveland to win that division. I'm going to bind either way here.

Go Cowboys. You boxed yourself in. Cowboys minus two and a half. Okay, the watchables. I got three legit watchable games. Now, granted, we have a Friday and a Thursday and a Monday game, so we're a little asleep. But first one, it's in Buffalo. The Bills are playing the Cardinals. And I can't wait to watch this game. I think the Cardinals are going to be super fun to watch. The Bills, you know, Milano's out.

Secondary's banged up. Seems like a nice spot. I keep staring at that Arizona plus 215. But when I had to guess this, I guess Bill's five and a half over the Cardinals. What'd you have? You got it exactly. I said six and a half. This is the Hail Murray rematch, right?

Wasn't that to, I mean, no Hopkins on this team anymore. But yeah, this is a fun one. And I feel like we've grown up because I think we would have been like, oh, teaser. No doubt about it. Buffalo, let's do it. No way. Yeah. Either you're teasing the Cardinals or you're just taking

the money line, I think, for this one. And also, fully admit, you take Cardinals and whatever, and then it's like, we're back in Buffalo. The Bills are up 27 to nothing. Josh Allen has two touchdowns. He's also thrown for two. What did I do?

11 inches of snow somehow first week in September. I feel like that line's going to go down. I think that goes what did I do 11 inches of snow somehow first week in September no one yeah that's I feel like that line is going to go down I think that goes down to four and a half by the time we get to

I could see that to Sunday but that's going to be a really fun one a lot of fantasy guys in that game too next one is a great game could have been

in the discussion for the marquee Texans Colts we are going to Indianapolis for this one. And I picked the Colts minus one. Yeah, you were off on this one. I was way off.

Yeah, I was. I said Texans by one and a half and even I was off. It's Texans minus two and a half. Yeah. You know what? And I made this pick eight, nine days ago and since then there's been just a lot

of Texans buzz including on our podcast and it was a bad pick by me. Texans are, Colts are 0-9-1 in their last 10 week one games.

Not sure if that matters for this, but 0-9-1? 0-9-1 last 10 week one. Yep. A couple things

going on in this game. I think this is my number one pick for the overreaction game. Whatever happens in this game, massive overreaction. Richardson kills Houston and he's awesome. They beat Houston. It's just Richardson day the next day. Houston takes care of business, beats the Colts again in Indy. And then CJ Stroud looks awesome.

A lot of buzz that way, but then also Richardson doesn't look good. And then it's like, oh no, Richardson. Are we sure he's good? It just feels like whatever happens, there's going to be an overreaction. People are banged up on both sides here because Texans pass, is banged up.

Indy's got some receivers. Indy didn't change their secondary from last year, which I thought was interesting because I was reading about the games last year and they're just like, we're running it back, even though CJ Stroud did what he wanted against them. But I'm probably going to bet Houston on this game, by the way. Yeah, well, if it stays under three,

right, that might be the way to go. We like them better than the Colts this year. 0-9-1 is tough. Here's another one I'm probably going to bet. Miami, home for the Jaguars. I initially picked Dolphins minus four. There's been some injuries on the Dolphins side. What did you have?

I had three and a half, and it's down to three. So I get that one. That's a good one. No, no, no. You're the one who sees the NFL Reddit teams. I don't do any of that. So Miami's missing Chubb. They're missing Odell Beckham.

Barrios might have to play third receiver. They're missing their left guard. Their D-backs are banged up. Waddle and Tyreek are both questionable right now, but probably playing. And odds are it's going to be fucking hot there, which it's two Florida teams, so they'll be fine. But we always,

I'm going to make a note this year for week one too, because we always forget when it's 85, 90, and 100% humidity. I always remember after the fact, I don't know who that's going to hurt, but I'm in on the Jags. I could see spending the fact. I don't know who that's going to hurt, but I'm in on the Jags. I could see spending some betty money on them.

I don't know who's going to hurt either, but when it's like 140% humidity, I don't think you could make it higher than three with two decent teams. Just don't know. Fairly watchables. You could tell me if any of these should have been in the other category,

but Bears-Titans I put in there just because Caleb's first game. I'm interested. I want to know how it looks. I want to see if they whip it around. I had the Bears minus three and a half at home against the Titans. I went a little higher and I won this. I said four and it's four and a half. Yeah. So we're in the Vegas zone. Well, this is the first week, excuse me, of cheating, but I do use the over-under win

totals to decide what I'm going to pick for a line. And the Bears are considerably expected to do better than the Titans. So I had to put it in the Vegas zone. I guess so. Feels like either Monday morning, Sunday night, Chicago fans over the moon going nuts, how good they looked, or it gets dark immediately. This is another overreaction candidate, but it's only really for the Bears. I don't think anything could happen with the Titans. That would make people crazy.

But there's two worlds with the Bears, and one of them is going to be extreme. Yeah. It's a must win for the Titans. That would make people crazy. But there's two worlds with the Bears and one of them is going to be extreme. Yeah. It's a must win for the Bears. Yeah, it kind of is. It's a week one must win. Yeah, it's one of their must winners.

By the way, I know we needed a Friday game to make this work, but eight early, four afternoon, one Sunday night, one Monday. Let's just stick to this. please, when there's no buys.

Please, let's stick to this. Well, it gets worse. Don't we have a 10 and a three coming up? Yeah, there's two 10s in there. I think Scott Hansen came on. They changed it because of red zone watchers. They're like, well, we can't have two late afternoon games with the red zone. What about us, the old schoolers who actually watch all of these?

Like, why did it have to take red zone to make a move here? Anyway. Your game's late, right? Because I feel like they want to drive people to your game late. Yeah, Cowboys are late afternoon. Yeah, they want people watching Brady. So next one is Falcons-Steelers, which initially I had in the watchables, but the more you read about the Steelers offense, there's a better chance it's going to be

unwatchable. I texted you before and I was like, if you had one regret, one possible do over, over under pod. Just Steelers, you said? It seems like everyone's out on the Steelers. What happened between Tuesday and Sunday? Well, their offensive line is, I think, in shambles. Oh, right. Jalen Warren's hurt. This is like, I kind of needed them to win this game as part of my overrunner.

And it feels like this is a horrible spot for them. They have the Arthur Smith revenge game because he's their offensive coordinator now. Yep. But it just feels like their offensive line has kind of passed the point and overturned. That was one of the reasons I liked them this season. They drafted, they spent on it, but

they've had bad luck all over the place. So this is another overreaction possibility because you could see the Steelers just not being able to do anything. Judon gets a sack. Simmons makes a play. Raheem Morris is jumping around fist pumping

and the Falcons win like 30-3 Cousins is back, the NFC South is for real I will say Pitt might be the nobody believes in this team everyone's out on them I think I'm the only one that picked them in the playoffs if there's anyone else out there everyone's out on them.

Even on the ringer pods, like Dibundo and Austin Gale on Friday, on the bread zone, on ringer gambling, just destroying Pittsburgh. On your pod, who likes Pittsburgh? Anybody? You know what it is? I think we talked about it. You look at their schedule, you just can't come up with air. You can't just do it. There's no two weeks in a row where it's like, oh, okay. On the other hand, they're going't come up with air. You can't just do it. There's no two weeks in a row where it's like, oh, okay. You know?

So on the other hand, they're going to be in every game. They just kind of are. They'll get blown out once, maybe twice, you know, but this is, otherwise it's just a knuckleball 1917 fourth quarter kind of thing. I feel like people are, I still feel like people are glossing over the defense, but you're going to be asking a lot. Yeah. If it's healthy, they're great.

The over under on this game is 40 and a half. And this game feels so under to me. Yeah. Right. It's just, the Steelers going to score, I don't know, 17 points.

I don't see it. Okay. Did you pick it though? You didn't pick the, we didn't, we didn't pick it. I think we should have picked it. I had Falcons minus three and a half in Atlanta.

Yeah. So I said two and a half and it's three. Okay. It's probably where it should have picked it. I had Falcons minus three and a half in Atlanta. So I said two and a half and it's three. Okay. Which is probably where it should be. Yeah. I think that shifts up by Sunday. I think that ends up at three and a half, don't you? I don't see a lot of Pitt money coming

in. Everyone's out on Pitt. All the advanced metrics, they're all like, we're out. I think it stays. I think it stays. Mike Tomlin, I believe in you still. I can't believe you want it. You want a mulligan for I didn't say mulligan.

I said, if I, you know, we're on the record. I'm saying if I could have a mulligan, I say, all right, I think I would switch Pittsburgh

and Buffalo as my playoff team. And I think I would put Buffalo in the playoffs, but I don't have a mulligan. So I'm going to ride with too late, man. Yeah,

I know. I'm going to post it the Bronwyn. Yeah, I know. Chargers, Raiders. I could argue this is a watchable just because there's so much going on. But I picked... It's in LA, which is usually a good thing for the team that's the home team.

But in this case, the Raiders will probably have 40,000 fans there. I am not scared. I have Chargers by two and a half. I got this exactly. I said three and a half. I got this exactly. I said three and a half. So they don't believe in the road. Again,

I was just going by the old run to win things, but you're right. There's no home advantage at all. It's a disadvantage in this case. This is three and a half. Now I thought it was two and a half. I looked 10 minutes before we went. Oh,

it's up to three and a half. Wow. Yeah. Um, this is a move in the last 12 hours? I didn't check, honestly, until this morning. I think it moved. This is a Nance Romo game.

There's some good storylines for this. Yeah, because Harbaugh, you know, they played in December and the Raiders beat them 63-21. And they ended up firing Staley. That was Easton Stick. They ran it up. Right. And I'm thinking of Harbaugh this whole week,

just doing the, last time we played these guys, they embarrassed you. Right. That was a Thursday night. But yeah, I thought they'd get a better game. But then you look at it, it's like, I guess nothing else really makes sense. I think Harbaugh's first game is a good game.

Yeah. All right. This might be a Chargers defense wins it by itself game. Adams and Bowers are both questionable for the game. You got Harbaugh versus Antonio Pierce. That'll be fun. I like the Chargers. I love every single one of them.

Well, you're beating me in guess the lines, which I don't like. That last one is Bucks at home for the Washington Commanders. And I bet on Bucks minus three for this one. What'd you have? We both had... Oh, no. Yeah, I had three also. It's three and a half.

Yeah. So we tie, though. That's tough. So this is a human weather game what do you mean it's in Tampa and it could be oh human weather

yeah this could be one of those oh my god not that Washington is a walk in the park anyway but this is a complete stay away from me

I want to watch Washington for a week I'm not betting on that we have no idea how bad their defense is I'm staying away I think it's going to be fun for Jade and Daniels

but yeah it's going to be fun I'll root Daniels, but I'm not sure about that. It'll be fun. I'll root for them. I don't want money on it. Poop fact, the Bengals versus the Pats. It's in Cincinnati. It's our first poop fact of the game.

I have the Cincinnati Bengals by 10. I said 9, and it's 9.5, so we tie that. Split. I'm taking the Patriots and the points. I think Zach Taylor's still vacationing in early September. They got killed by the Browns last year, their first game. They lost to the Steelers. Burrow was hurt.

He was hurt. Lost to the Steelers in overtime two years ago. The Chase even playing. You manipulated Hench to trade him Jamar chases and street clothes oh in our keeper league I did not sure what's going to happen so since he's missing

their left tackle and they don't know if they're gonna be missing chase or not the Patriots are missing talent on both sides of the ball I saw that in the injury report the Patriots are like we have a good secondary does that help us? The talent's

not even day-to-day. They're just out, huh? I don't see a scenario where the Pats hang in this game. Who'd you tease them with? I don't think you ever told me. Who have I not teased them with? I like them with the Packers.

I like the Packers getting points in that Brazil game. I did something with the Lions too. All right. That first one. Anyway. Not bad. Vikings-Giants in New Jersey. I have the Vikings somehow.

Maybe the only time this year they'll be favored. Vikings minus one and a half over the Giants. Well, is that what you have? Oh, I thought you said the Giants favorite. Yeah, you get this then. Either way. I had the Giants by two and a half. And you're right. It's the Vikings on the road

favored by one and a half. Can I F this up? No. Who's home? No, the Giants are home. What? What's going on? They're not favored? The Giants are home. They stink.? What's going on? They're not favored? The Giants are home. They stink. And I think part of this is that

I don't know if the Giants have a home field advantage. This is very bad news for Danny Dimes if he can't be favored over... Their offensive line not only sucks, but is banged up. Their linebackers are super banged up. Their DBs are bad, so we might have a good Jefferson game. They're going to be booing Danny Dimes from the moment banged up. Their DBs are bad, so we might have a good Jefferson game.

They're going to be booing Danny Dimes from the moment he shows up. Minnesota's missing Hockinson for four weeks, and Addison looks like he's out. But I still like the Vikings. By the way, I would not bet on this game, because if you bet on this game, you're betting on Sam Darnold

playing in the old Giant Stadium. This is a fucking stadium. Oh, the ghosts and everything. Yeah. Can't do it. I just, the Vikings were, alright, so again, this is how I did the lines week one. Over seven and a half. Giants

six and a half. Giants are home. But you say no home field advantage? And they have more injuries. New logo at midfield? Alright. The only thing I would bet on is the New Jersey turf will do something awful in this game. That seems to be a September tradition.

The turf eats them up. Justin Jefferson again, sorry. We don't need to spend a lot of time on Saints Panthers, which is in New Orleans. A lot of injuries both ways. Well, the league sent out a memo before we guess a line on this and said there's no way to bet and win this game, so stay away. They went all different ways, but can't do it.

Well, I had the Saints minus six, which was off. What'd you have? Yeah, I went high too, five and a half, but it's four and a half. Vegas zone. Vegas zone. Both teams have a bunch of injuries already. The thing for me and why I kept looking at the Panthers is I'm not sure New Orleans is going to have a home field advantage this year because of how unpopular Carr is. And just in general, the fans, I think, are pretty mad about this team and what's happened with it.

And it does feel like Bryce comes out, does something. They're up 7-0. Carr throws a pick. And I think the crowd turns immediately. So it's almost like that first quarter is going to be where it goes. Wow. Panthers' first quarter. Let's bet it.

The Panthers' money line, I think, is enticing. And I think that line drops. I think that goes. I wouldn't bet it, but I would bet the money line, not the line. Again, the league sent out a memo. I know. I'm just saying, if you're betting this game, bet the money line. Throw out the points.

Last one. Seahawks, home for the Denver Broncos. I kind of wish these two teams weren't playing each other because I like both of them. I had the Seahawks. Old AFC West battle. Yeah, I had Seahawks minus four.

You get this. I said three and a half. It's five and a half. Yeah, we moved Vegas, honey. Let me count these up. Seven. I'm coming back a little bit. Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.

This is where you make a mistake counting them. You can do your comeback next week. It's 11-7. One, two, three. Oh. I'm coming back a little bit. Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. This is where you make a mistake. You can do your comeback next week. It's 11-7. One, two, three. I'm not winning them. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Good. I told you. This is the only one I win. All right. I'm going to try hard not to put the Seahawks in a teaser parlay. Yeah. I think this line feels a whiff too high but it is a rookie quarterback

on the road in Seattle aren't we gonna see a stat any day now about rookie quarterbacks on the road against the spread all that stuff with not exactly

a bevy of skill position guys but Tyler Lockett's banged up they're missing a pass rusher but otherwise Seattle looks pretty good okay two more and these are both great ones

Sunday night Detroit home for the Rams. Oh, my God. We talked to Jared Goff. That guy is so happy. He has no ill feelings against the Rams, Mike.

He's happy for everybody. It worked out for him. Did you know Matthew Stafford used to play for the Lions, dude? Did you even know that, Mike? These guys played on each other's teams. There's no animosity. It's great, Mike. Rams left tackle is out.

They have a guard playing center. Nakua is still banged up. Detroit's healthy. Rams almost beat them in a round one last year. To me, if you, this is like, if you believe in the Lions, you got to fucking bet them this game.

You have to take them. Yeah. You have to bet them. This is like, if you think they're a one seed and they're, all the shit they're going to do, like,

this is a game. Take care of business. Take the lead. Keep the, keep the foot in the pedal and go. Monday night. Well,

the Lions get, we didn't guess it, but the Lions, it scares me, this line. We both said four and a half. Do we not get, so didn't guess it, but it scares me, this line. We both said four and a half. I'm just setting up these games and we're not actually

guessing the Lions. We're doing a whole new thing this year. Yeah, I'm trying to get my mojo back. Guess which lines we're going to guess because we're not going to guess all. I'm just moving on. You don't even get to guess the line. I guess Lions minus four and a half

over the Rams. Yeah, so we both did and we both like the Lions. Why is it three and a half? It's a little bit fishy. Tiny bit fishy. Little fishy. Like what was the playoffs?

The playoff game when they did that. Good deal higher than that, wasn't it? I think people are afraid of the Rams now. They've just burned too many people.

They're like one of those boxers. Nobody wants to fight anymore. Right, right. You know, it's like give McVay like six guys and somebody could throw the ball and he could try to almost beat. Right, right. You know? It's like, give McVay like six guys and somebody could throw the ball and he could try to almost beat you. Monday night.

Great game. San Francisco 49ers home for the New York football Jets. I picked 49ers by three, by four and a half. Yeah, I said four because there's so, so much Jets love here. Yeah. The 49ers are a little banged up too. And it's three and a half. Yeah. I said four because there's so, so much jets love here. Yeah.

49ers are a little banged up too. And it's three and a half. Yeah. I get that. I got the week. That line was four and a half, uh, eight,

nine days ago after I guessed the lines and sent them to you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, when I guessed them, there was, but now it is what it is. But,

um, and I was like, do I need to put something in on this? Cause I know that's going to you. Yeah, yeah. Well, when I guessed them, it was, but now it is what it is. But, and I was like, do I need to put something in on this? Because I know that's going to drop. And now, I mean,

Greenlaw's out. Caffrey's still hurt. Hufanga might play, might not. Warner's banged up. Leonard Floyd's banged up. Ricky Pearsall's obviously not playing.

Yep. Trent Williams is holding out. We have no idea if we're going to see him. Ayuk has had a fucked up offseason and I guess he's going to play. You get a free four plays

out of Rodgers. No question about it. He's definitely going to get in there for four snaps. We know this will be the healthiest the Jets will be all year. Yeah. I really like the spot for them.

And they... The Jets are... They just have a ton of talent. I don't think they're going to be afraid of this game. And if you like the Jets and you don't like the Niners that much, then you got to bet this game. That's it.

Guess the lines. You're up. As always, you're up one, nothing in week one of the NFL season. I spy. I know. I think I was like minus six 50 to take the first week.

And then the over on the winds go away and there's nothing I could. You'll be breaking down all those games on Against the Lads. Yeah. This is the week. I'm going to be doing million-dollar picks again on Thursday. Let's take one more break. I'm going to do parent corner. Thanks again to Workday for sponsoring this segment.

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high intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. All right, Sal, parent corner, what do you got? All right, here we go. Let's start it with, oh man, it's been some summer, but let's pick on my middle kid, Jack. Jack Romo, quirky kid. I named him after Tony Romo.

He turned around and started rooting for the Steelers. Yeah. What I deserve there, right? Perfect, perfect for me. So like I said, he's got some napoleon dynamite like qualities the love and the death but since the mets started i do have him rooting for the mets that's good but uh not for him but when since they started with this grimace nonsense he bought a costume it's a big purple plastic covering and one day um like a month ago he wore

it to i guess it wasn't a month ago it a month ago, he wore it to, or I guess it wasn't a month ago. It was before school ended. He wore it to school and then walked to McDonald's and asked for the Grimace Shake. And like, they didn't like,

by his account, no one laughed. No one did anything. They didn't know what he was doing. They didn't have the Grimace Shake. It was only available in Canada. So he like left and he had to walk home that day

in this stupid costume. Oh no. Yeah, it's miserable. And I felt terrible for the kid. I he like left and he had to walk home that day in the stupid costume. Yeah, it's miserable. And I felt terrible for the kid. I'm like, wow, this is pathetic. So a few weeks ago, the Mets are playing in Anaheim. And I was like, I'm bringing the family. It's easier to get to Anaheim from where I am than Dodger Stadium. And I look and it's like $47 for six row seats.

I'm like, this is the best. I'm doing it. So we get there. Is it $47 because the Angels don't have anyone you'd want to see in person? Lots of reasons. I thought that was the number one reason. I turned out when I got there, that was not the number one reason. But anyway, Jack is going to bring his Grimace costume.

I'm like, you know what? Jack, no one's really going to get it. I know it's a Mets thing. He's like, I'm bringing it. I want to bring it. I want to wear it. I'm like, you know what? Jack, no one's really going to get it. I know it's a Mets thing. He's like, I'm bringing it. I want to bring it. I want to wear it. I'm like, all right, fine. Here we go.

This is going to be a disappointment again. We get there. The seats are $47. Yes, because the Angels suck and because it is blistering hot. Oh, it's in the sun side. Oh, it's 101 and there's no relief. So all the middle tier, the mezzanine that are covered, they're full. You can get that up.

Anything that's covered is full. Anything down below, you can roll around on the dugout if you want. It doesn't matter. So here I am thinking, and like I said, there's no relief. So my wife is like, I'm out. She went and sat in the shade outside the stadium or something. And now it's us. And I'm like, wow, am I just like me sitting there in this costume, burning up?

I think he's going to combust. It's going to set fire. I'm like, am I just the worst father for doing this? And then all of a sudden, a ton of people come and want to take selfies with this kid. With the Grimace kid. With the Grimace costume. And he's like, yeah, sure. of course, I'll take a picture. And he's like, got all these goombas from New York coming up,

taking the selfie and everything. I'm not kidding. It must have been like 40 selfies with people. He was a big hit. He got on the local Bally's broadcast of the Angels game. They showed him like twice. And so I don't know what the moral of the story is, other than the Mets got their asses handed to them.

But, I guess this has a happy ending. So, where's the Grimace costume? So, this is how like superhero movies start. Yeah,

right. This is a villain origin story. Now he's getting exposed to a nuclear reactor and all of a sudden he's going to be the Grimace. The Mets have all

these so many dumb things going on. I guess he could have dressed as a hot tour girl. Yeah, it's nice. That was a great first pair quarter story. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Good for you. Goodbye, you, Jack. I had a lot of ways I can go. I'm actually going to keep Ben Simmons on the bench this week, even though I had seven stories. So my daughter started dating this guy. She goes to college. She's like, I'm not going to have a boyfriend all year. I'm going to do soccer. And within a month has a boyfriend. You love this guy.

Really great kid. So then he came out and visited during the summer because she was here. And then we were going, I had some time off. And one of the places we went to was we went to Hawaii. So when we're planning it, she's like, Hey, can we bring Tommy? And my wife's like, yeah, let's bring him. And it's, he's a great kid. So he comes to Hawaii with us. Then two weeks later, we have to go to the Cape for the Simmons family Cape week, which we hadn't been to in forever. It's the whole family. And we're in Hawaii. And Tom is like,

you know, I'd really like to go to that. I love your dad. And I'm like, I, there's going to be like a lot of like cousins and like, you definitely don't want to go to this. He's like, no, no, it'll be fine. I'm good. And stuff like that. So anyway, he comes to the Cape with us and then they leave. And instead of going back to where he's from in Miami, he just decides to go to Boston. Cause Zoe started soccer and ends up staying with my dad for another week. And he's like, as in, as I've seen a college boyfriend with the family. And I don't know what, from everything I laid out and they're almost at a year. I mean, the odds of somebody with their marrying their college boyfriend, I think it's what? 200 to one, 250 to one, 300 to one lower. Well, with me as a dad begging you not to marry your college

boyfriend, you have to factor that in the odds, right? You're too young, you can't get married. He went to the grandfather. The more people you're in touch. Right. He's trying to win over other family members. And it's gotten to this point where I'm like, I don't know how they break up. So he might be around for a while. Yeah. I don't know. When was the last time people met when they were 19 and got married? It doesn't happen.

I don't think any that much. Doesn't happen anymore. That's why I thought I would bring it up as my parent corner. I like it. On this pod to just basically reverse jinx it. Cause she's too young. She can't get married. Well, you don't have to get married next year,

but you like the guy, right? No, he's a great kid. You want to meet someone new? You have to meet someone new. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's good. Yeah, so there you go. I guess my point is young love still exists, Sal.

I guess so. And he's literally grandfathered in. He is. My dad loves him. They like hang out. They're like, he got my dad to watch UFC, which you're going to be shocked to learn my dad did not enjoy UFC that much.

He didn't take to it? No. He didn't take to it as they were watching. He's a Miami guy. If your dad starts rooting for the Heat, then you have to turn on the Heat. There were a lot of Miami jokes. My dad was wearing his Celtics championship hat

the entire week. There was a lot of Miami jokes. My dad was wearing his Celtics championship hat the entire week. Right. There was a lot of, hey, Miami didn't do anything in the offseason. The Heat. A lot of Tua jokes. It's good. It's a nice little healthy mix for a film. I love it.

Anyway, there you go. Good guy. I met him too. Nice guy. Paracorner. Young love exists and the Grimace might be a new superhero origin movie. That's Paracorner for Young love exists and the Grimace might be a new superhero origin movie. That's Paracorner for week one.

Good Lord. I guess that's it for the pod, actually. Thank you for producing. Kyle Creighton, as always. You can watch

video from this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. My camera works. You can see Sal on not only in Against All Odds, not only in Through the Ringer,

Cousin Sal's winning weekend is back. I have Tony Romo on this week, Simmons. Wow. We went for an hour, so I don't know

how much we're going to use. Holy shit. He thanked me afterwards for the reps. He's like, thanks, man. He's like, I got to do that.

Yeah, he needed that. He's getting his sea legs back. Anytime. I announced he's going to be on every week, so we'll see if, see if that happens. But let me just say, I know the podcast is. It's getting his sea legs back. Anytime. I announced he's going to be on every week. So we'll see if, uh, see if that happens. But let me just say, I know the podcast is over, but I do this new thing now on Cousin Sal's winning weekend.

It's called the Cousin's Conundrum. And I asked Ron Darling if he was locked in the broadcasting booth, who he would eat first. Keith Hernandez or Gary Cohen. I put Drew Brees on the spot who he would throw in federal prison on that NFC championship game thing with the referees. I got Romo good. I want to ask you. This is a cousin's conundrum. We'll just give everybody a taste.

A new law comes out that no city can host more than two teams from the major sports leagues. Boston has given you the power, Simmons, to decide who stays and who moves to Des Moines. Which two leave? Celtics, Bruins, Patriots, Red Sox?

Oh, wow. You cannot answer. I don't like the Bruins owner, so that one's easy. I know that one's easy. I knew that was easy. Celtics have to stay for me. I know it. Yep.

This is the one. I'd probably keep the Red Sox. It'd be too weird not to have Fenway Park in the Red Sox. Really? The Pats gave us six Super Bowls. They play in Foxborough. I'll just bet on all the NFL teams. I'll be fine. The Des Moines Patriots. All right. Yeah. They almost moved a few times. All right. You see, one of the reasons you're such an evil genius is because you root for teams outside of New York. There's no way for you to answer this question that makes you look bad.

The Mets get to stay. Yeah. You have your own conundrum. That's fine. Unbelievable. All right, cuz. As always, good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. I want to see them on the way so I never say I don't have feelings with them.

On the wayside, on the way so I never say I don't have feelings with them. Must be 21 plus and president in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and president in DC. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York.