The Bill Simmons Podcast - Herbert’s Back, Tampa’s Dead, Carolina’s Alive, Hurts is the MVP, and Week 15 Lines With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the conference implications of the Dolphins' loss to the Chargers, Jets-Bills, the 49ers' blowout win over the Buccaneers, the Eagles' quest for a 16-win season, the Cowboys escaping a loss to the Texans, Browns-Bengals, Panthers-Seahawks, NFC South turmoil, and more (3:10). Then, they guess the lines for NFL Week 15 (45:22), before closing the show with Parent Corner (1:16:56). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Gambling problem called Win 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too. Miller Lite keeps it simple for us. Undebatable quality, great taste. Picture this, it's game day.

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grab some Miller Lights today? Your game time tastes like Miller time. Must be legal drinking age. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where I have a new Rewatchables coming on Monday. It is one of my 25 favorite movies of all time. It had an anniversary recently. It won. It got nominated for a bunch of Oscars in Those Who Are Ants.

So that's coming Monday night. Coming at some point Monday on the Prestige TV podcast, we're going to be breaking down the final episode of season two of White Lotus, which was spectacular.

Me, Mally Rubin, Joanne Robinson, we did not get screeners for this, so we watched it with everybody else on Sunday night. I had to do this podcast so we couldn't tape

until tomorrow morning. We're going to try to hustle that up as fast as we possibly can, sometime around lunchtime, but it will also give us time to actually put some extra thought, read some of the theories about what happened and everything else. So get ready for that. Before we begin with this podcast, I just wanted to say Grant Wall passed away at the World Cup unexpectedly. I thought he was great. He was at the forefront of this change that happened with soccer in America, how it was understood, how it was written about, how it was talked about. Really started in the mid-2000s. People like me that were pretty casual fans that never really got over the hump. And we needed gatekeepers and people to kind of push us and nudge us and explain things to us. And he was one of those people. He was writing for Sports Illustrated for a long time, doing podcasts and popping on other people's shows.

And he was on TV for a while. And he always, there's an accessibility with how he discussed the sport that I think was really important. He was great guy. I knew him a little bit. We actually tried to hire him at Grantland and he was embedded at Sports Illustrated and was super loyal to them. And, um, but it was, you know, as the sport was growing, it's like, who should we get? Who's the best? And the answer was Grant. He had a ton of fans. He had a ton of colleagues and a ton of people

in his life. And you heard from a lot of them the last few days, people that knew him a lot better than I did. But I always really admired the territory that he carved out. He was one of the biggest fans of the sport and one of the best people at explaining what was going on with it. So really, really sad weekend, I think, for everybody who loved reading him, who knew him, who cared about soccer, and he was just embedded in the fabric of it. So I just want to say how sad I was and express my condolences to his family and his friends and everybody else. So there you go. All right, we're going to bring in Sal,, Pearl Jam.

All right, taping this 837 Pacific Time Sunday night. No White Lotus spoilers. There's some Chris Collinsworth spoilers, though. Justin Herbert. Oh, my God. That was, you know, he picked up the ball that Tyreek when he ran it I've never seen anything like that in my entire life oh Tyreek

he's just so fast Mike did you see that too did you see that too I think I gotta get my eyes checked I'm gonna make an appointment at LensCrafters first thing in the morning how does Justin Herbert do it? How does he

do it? If you just listened to the sound and didn't watch it, you would have thought Herbert had the greatest game in the history of the football position. He was really laying it on today. Chargers-Dolphins, pretty mediocre game for the most part. Here's the thing. We always have to say we love Collinsworth because we do, and if

you lose that enthusiasm, then it's kind of over, right? How many announcers have we seen that were good and started off? And then you just, you could tell they're mowing it in. He's not even there. But we still get to make fun of them. And we love them. We make fun of them out of love. This is what we do.

That's right. Now let's go crazy making fun of them. No, I think that's, yeah, I wasn't as good a game as he thought. I mean, Tua completed six passes. First of all, social media forced us to be a fan of either Tua or Herbert. You had to decide this week and you couldn't, there was no turning back and this game was going to decide it. And it was like, no, what? Herbert's very good. Tua's good. Maybe very good. I can't tell without Tyreek Hill, but it's fine. We can move on from

just this one game. There was a moment when Tyreek left the game when the Tua thing, it felt like watching somebody's mask come off. It was like, oh, now what do you have, buddy? You don't have the best, most dangerous receiver in the league. Where are you going? He was bad.

He was bad last week, too. These are two bad ones in a row. It had a dramatic impact on the AFC playoff picture. Did he have six? Oh, yeah. He ended up with 10 completions. Okay. 10 for 28. Miami is 8-5. They're the sixth seed. Chargers are knotted with the Jets at

7-6 for the seventh seed. New England 6-6 playing tomorrow night. There's now a path for Miami. That's banked the playoffs. So you got at Buffalo next week, Green Bay home at, at New England home jets, which I think is going to be a loser leaves town match.

And we see this happen. Yeah. Yeah. We see this way a week 18. Sorry. We see this with the warm weather passing attack teams. And then when we get to December, you kind of find out what you have. They've had some injuries,

but I'll give you Miami. I'll give you the Jets, Chargers, Pats. What two are making it? Out of those four, I bet the Chargers this week, early this week, at like plus 145 to make

it because I think there could be a dangerous 7C. There's talk about Bosa coming back in time. And then I kind of think they're a different team. But either way, they're a different team. Like you can't even look at Herbert. You can praise him all you want. But the guy, they play such a different game. He had 43 pass attempts heading into the fourth quarter of a game they were winning.

Like you don't even see that for anybody else. So I don't even know what I'm watching. I do feel like if the Chargers played a lot of these teams, they should win like six or seven out of ten times, but they just don't because of the Chargers. But I do think they'll have just enough to get it done. They dominated that game.

They blew their stereotypical fourth and goal in the first quarter. Had that. Gave up two long passes. But for the most part, it never felt like they weren't the better team in this game. I do think, like Collinsworth alluded to it, I do think it's going to come out after the season that Herbert was

really hurt in week two in that Thursday night Kansas City game. Week two, week three, whatever it was. He actually had broken ribs or a worse injury than they told us because he's starting to look like himself again. He's moving around. Everybody's blaming the offensive coordinator who is admittedly terrible. But I do think that he seems like a different guy from that week three to week five stretch. And plus Mike Williams came back.

I think when he's out there, they're just a different team. I would say from a scary standpoint, Buffalo, Casey, Cincinnati are still the top three. But then if you're just saying who's the most talented team after that, Cincinnati are still the top three. But then if you're just saying, who's the most talented team after that, it's probably the chargers just because of the quarterback, right? I'm giving you chargers, Baltimore, Tennessee, Miami, all those teams. I think they probably have the fourth most talent. I don't know what that's going to mean, but if they get that seven seed, that's probably going to be Casey. So that's what I was thinking. You don't want to be

you want the one, right? Because then you get the buy. I don't think you want the two, even though the two would be home for the three. If it came down to that, the two home for the three seed. But if you have to play the Chargers, if I'm the Bills or the Chiefs or the Bengals, whoever, I would not

want to play the Chargers in the first round. That's an easy seven to upset in the making. I also would not want to play the Chargers in the first round. That's an easy 7-2 upset in the making. I also would not want to play the Jets. And maybe I'm in the minority on this, but even today, White gets racked a couple times. He took two of the hardest sports movie, any given Sunday type hits to his ribs and probably broke his ribs or at least cracked one.

They also lost Quinn Williams pretty much like I was, I'm going to say second quarter, something like that. And it just felt like they were never told within the game and they hung around and all of a sudden they're trying to get a touchdown, which they would have cut it to three. They had all their timeouts left and it's just like they stayed in the game. Their defense kept making stops. They could run

the ball a little. I'm not counting that team out. I think they're going to be a tough out. You at least have to beat them. You're not going to just be able to walk all over them. My stupid team, the Patriots, you could just play a C plus game and probably beat. I think you have to play decent to beat the Jets.

We think about it with a month left because now everybody, it's kind of cool. Everybody's got four games left, right? The Vise are over with. They had six teams off this week in the fantasy, you know, the first, the last week of fantasy regular season. They have six teams off. Way to know your audience, NFL.

Great job. We think in terms of, can this team win three games? I think the Chargers can, right? Yeah, their run defense stinks. I think they could win three games, though. The Jets will be frisky for one game. I don't think they can win three.

And after watching the Dolphins, that's kind of what I took from this game. I don't think they're a team that can win three. Now, keep in mind, we're now going to talk about 55 minutes about the Lions and the Panthers, also teams that can't win three games. But we got to hear it. We have to talk about them. Now, stay in the Lions and the Panthers. Also teams that can't win three games, but we got to hear it. We have to talk about them. Now, stay in the AFC for a second. All right, go ahead.

So you don't think the Jets, from what you've seen from Mike Waite, you don't think they can win games on the road? Could they win two, though? Could they get to the AFC title game? I don't think they're going to make the Super Bowl. I don't know. I don't think the Chargers. He's't know. I don't think the Chargers

could either. He's better than Zach Wilson who apparently is the fourth string on this team. But Jesus. That was sad when he didn't come in today. Very weird. The team that could definitely do it is Cincinnati.

You could argue it's lining up for them in the AFC better than anybody who's not getting one seed. They're in the five spot. The four or five spots in both conferences look like they're set already, which is really weird because we've got four weeks left. Tennessee, I assume, is going to be the AFC South champ. They have a two

game lead over Jacksonville. They could still blow it. They got the Chargers next week, home Houston, home Dallas, and then at Jacksonville. And if they're in one game in Jacksonville, they could still blow it. They got the Chargers next week, home Houston, home Dallas, and then at Jacksonville. And if they're in one game at Jacksonville, that game could actually, then Tennessee could get bounced. But Cincinnati is the 4-5 in that one, it looks like. And then in the other conference,

it's going to be your stupid team playing, I guess, Tampa, unless Carolina runs the slate, which is conceivable. We barely beat the worst team, one of the worst teams of the decade, and I still think we added a point or a point and a half on the spread against Tampa for that matchup. It's unbelievable.

I feel like we're up to way, way, way worse. Yeah, we're up to like six now. I think the line is about six, Dallas at Tampa Bay. Don't you worry. We will we're up to like six now. I think the line is about six, Dallas at Tampa Bay. And don't you worry, we will blow that game. I promise you. What's weird is I don't think we've had this before. You have a two and a half game lead over the six seed.

And you're not going to get the ones, you're not going to pass Philly, right? Two games back, Philly's probably going to go 16 and one. It might be the rare scenario where the five-seed rest players in week 17, you have Washington in week 18, sorry. That game might mean nothing. The week 17 game

at Tennessee might mean nothing. You might have the five-seed clinched going into week 17 and clinched to go play the worst division we've had since that division when Marshawn Lynch beat the Saints. What was that one? 2009?

The baseball game? 2009, 2010? 2010. Right. They were nine-point underdogs. New Orleans was nine-point favorites in Seattle, and they ended up losing. So you're going to end up playing Tampa

unless they just completely... By the way way they might not get there they're terrible I know you want to talk about this and I am not even sure if I'd rather go to Tampa or Carolina that's how crazy it is at this point I'm like oh I might be afraid of

Sam Darnold and the Panthers and now you're going to give me an earful of why I should be listen we could do this in two minutes. Carolina is a better team than Tampa Bay. I don't even think that's a take. They can at least do stuff. They can run the ball. They can rush the passer. They seem like they're playing hard. Tampa, over and over again, is down 15, 20 points in every game. It doesn't seem like anyone's on the same page. Their coach might be dead. I don't seem like anyone's on the same page.

Their coach might be dead. I don't know what's going on with him. He might be just propped up. It might be like a weekend at Bernie's thing. Their offense, you can guess the plays when you're watching. Even when they have a good play, it gets called. They had a 68-yarder Mike Evans callback holding penalty because their tackles

have to hold on almost every play. Brady can't move. They can't run the ball. And they've had a bunch of injuries. That team's 6-7. They are two plays away from being 4-9. Sure. And they're two plays that are pretty lucky plays, right?

That Rams, that weird Rams drive when the Rams went in a prevent for reasons that are made unclear. And then everything that happened in that Saints collapse, which was the second worst loss of the year until that. Don't forget the Falcons, the, the, whether they favored Brady,

right. They gave him the, um, roughing the quarterback call in the beginning of the year. Right. It was that week four or five. Yeah. So that I thought two or three plays.

I couldn't believe how low that line was. I had money on it. Did it million dollar picks? Did the first half bet, same frame to win was plus 115. And the only thing holding me back was like, what if Brock Purdy's just awful, right?

What if last week he's been thinking about it a week. Everybody in his life is congratulating him. Man, you're doing great. Oh my God. I'm so happy for you. And it's just like, it's a big Brock Purdy party. And then he gets to this game and he just sucks. He lays an egg.

We've seen that happen so many times. This was the opposite. He was fucking awesome. I'm more in on him than I was last week. Oh, wow. I thought,

I think he's like legitimately good. He did. The whole game was moving around. He's making throws. He's got charisma. I fucking love Brock Purdy.

All right. Hold on a second. No, I'm not holding on. No, you got to just calm down. You got to calm down if he throws three interceptions next week. He's fine. He's good. He's fine.

And he's in a perfect situation, right? This might be a team where you only have to score 13 points a week to win. I don't see the Niners losing to anyone, really. But it's not going to be dependent on Brock Purdy. You can make all the comparisons like, oh, rookie quarterback doesn't win the Super Bowl. It just doesn't happen. He may not have to do much to do it. He was good today, 16 for 21, 185.

Didn't screw anything up. His parents were at the game. I thought that was a little weird. They said, oh, his parents didn't really go to see him play much in his playing days at Iowa State. It's like, really? You're a star quarterback. Yeah, but Jeff has to sod the lawn this week. He can't go. So anyway, the only

reason they were going was to see Tom Brady. They got tickets a month ago when Purdy wasn't the starter. And I guess they were disappointed because Brady really shit the bed. He was bad. Purdy was good. I just like him. Now, they lose Debo in this game.

Right. Debo, if you ask me, if we did a fantasy draft of all the guys in the different sports who I'm always the most afraid are going to get injured during the course of every game, Debo is right up there with John Morant

and Zion. And just he's something about there's a recklessness to him. And just he's something about, there's a recklessness to him. And I mean that as a compliment to him. He's just like fearless. And over and over again, you see him going over the middle or carrying three guys.

And he's just, you watch these and you go, one of these is going to go the wrong way on you. Like, I just wish you would just fall down sometimes. And he just does it. And then it finally got him today. It looked like he broke his ankle. I guess he's out for a couple weeks. It says a high ankle sprain.

No break so far. I guess they have to wait for it to come back in the morning. Well, that's fine for them because they're locked into the three seeds, so they can just rest them for a month. Well, I think they can get a two seed. In the NFC, it's different from the AFC. There's no Chargers waiting for you, right? I think you want the two seed. Well, we'll talk about it because now the LionsFC. There's no Chargers waiting for you. I think you want the

two seed. We'll talk about it. I'll give it to the listeners right now. Philly's 12-1. Minnesota's 10-3. San Fran is 9-4. They can catch Minnesota. NFC South's out. They're going to be the four seed. Then you have Dallas. Then you have basically this weird Washington

7-5-1, Giants 7-5-1, Seattle 7-6, Detroit 6-7. And Detroit basically has to run the slate, I think. I think they have to get to 10-7. They have a big game. What's their big game? Not next week. Well, next week's good, too, against the Jets.

But then week 16. At Carolina? At Carolina. That's a fun one. That might be a loser leaves town, even though one's going for the division, one's just going for the wild card. But real quick with the Niners. First of all, they all play really hard, the Niners.

And I think that's why they have like we were talking about this. I think that's why half their team is like, you know, day to day on Thursday every week, you know. But Debo, it's interesting. He does run harder than everybody, which is weird because in the beginning of the season, he's like, I'm not a running back or pay me like a running

back. And then they're like, no, no, no, you are a running back and we're not going to pay you like a running back. And now he gets hurt as a running back. So I hope he plays. It doesn't seem to be fair with these Niners injuries. I think Philly and San Francisco have now levitated above everybody else. And it's a little like where basketball was until the Celtics fucking shit the bed in

Golden State. God damn it. Oh my God. Back to square one. Throw the first 26 games out. They complete there in the headlights. I was so mad. So December, you're fine.

Oh, whatever. complete deer in the headlights. I was so mad. December. You're fine. Whatever. But yeah, I think Philly and the Niners would be my one-two. And then in the AFC, I don't know. Has Allen looked good to you in a month? No. No. It's very weird. He can still put his head down and run the ball.

It's third and seven. He can do these design runs. Occasionally have nice throws. Doesn't ever seem that comfortable. And his throws are kind of sailing around. He just doesn't look like the same guy. I thought this was, this was going to be the game, right? Everyone's like, where's the 40 point game from Buffalo? It's like, well, they haven't played home in a month, right? They had those two weird games in Detroit. And then they played last week, uh, by you,, on the Thursday night game. And I was like, the fans, it's going to be in a frenzy. They're going to show.

I know the Jets' defense has been great. I know it's going to be snowy, but it's so weird how they have trouble moving the ball. They really do. And if you have fantasy guys, if you have Gabriel Davis or Dawson Knox, you know it's a feast of famine thing, and it's mostly famine with them. You can go like the whole half without a catch,

a look from either of them. They don't really have that third and seven guy this year. And the running backs are fine, but not great. And it just seems like they have trouble sustaining these 15 play drives. Then you see KC. I don't know what happened at Denver game. I wasn't even watching. I was watching the Pelicans game and the other two football games.

It's 27, nothing. Denver scored what? 14 points a game. There's no sign that they... Apparently, Russ mounted this really fun comeback and then got knocked out. So you have them and then you have Cincinnati that they didn't look awesome today either for about two and a half quarters

against Cleveland. Deshaun was awful. Let's take a break. I want to come back and play some Do You Believe? This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too. You won't win the Super Bowl, but your fundraising will support mental health, suicide prevention, and prostate and testicular cancer research. And if you don't want to grow a mustache, you could still walk or run 60 kilometers, host an event, or set your own

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Philly has a real chance here to go 16-1, which historically is a significant number. So they're at Chicago, at Dallas, in a game that doesn't really mean that much to you guys. Home for the Saints, home for the Giants. They feel like they're getting better

the last couple weeks. They have gears now. It seems like they just, oh, you're going to do this, then we'll do this. There's a malleability to them that they just haven't had. And Hertz is having an awesome year. Do you think Philly, I'll give you a two-part question, Aaron.

Do you believe Philly can go 16-1? Yes. I just keep betting against them. I don't know why. I'm chasing the high of when I pick the commanders to beat them straight up. And then I don't know what, I mean, the look,

the giants aren't good. That's just how it is. But if there's going to be a hatred for a team, the giant should hate the Eagles more than any other team hates any other because they're totally screwed with them. First of all, Philly fans hate New York fans. That's a number one.

Yeah. Number two, they screwed them. Remember when they sat Jalen Hurts in the second half of that Week 17 game? They screwed them out of a playoff. And then the next year, they trade for Devonta Smith right before the Giants are picking a wide receiver.

So it was like they should really have some heart and pride. And they got wiped up by Philly. And I just think Philly has the ability to do that. Unless they just feel like taking the game off, I think they can go 16-1. Now, that last game is one where they would sit

potentially every one. Giants. Right. But they have the bye, so you don't want to sit two weeks, right? These guys are going to play at least a half. Also, the way they're constructed, they could probably play and do their thing and it wouldn't be insane. Is it Minshew? Minshew could beat them anyway? Yeah, probably could.

Giants, my fear with them and why I wanted to throw the Eagles in a tease and got talked out of it because there were a lot of people who were like, watch, was it just you? It was like, why is this line only seven? Why is it not moving? But I didn't think they needed the game.

That was what worried me about them. And it seemed like Barkley was the last minute decision, but he's obviously hurt. Fear them, like next week's the game. That was what worried me about them. And it seemed like Barkley was the last minute decision, but he's obviously hurt. Fear them. Next week's the game. You have to beat Washington. You're probably going to lose to the Eagles anyway. Oh, the Giants didn't need the game.

The Giants need the game. Yeah. Next week's the kitchen sink game for them. So that was my only fear with them. Can we unflex that? Can we unflex that game? Let's put your Patriots back in there. Patriots Raiders is better.

You like Washington Giants at this point? Yeah, I like that game. That tie was fun. I enjoyed that. Some one-loss teams from history. Yeah. So the 2007 Pats were 16-0, but I'm counting them. They lost Super Bowl.

2015 Panthers, 15-1, lost Super Bowl. 2011 Packers, 15-1, lost Bowl. 2011 Packers 15-1 lost to the Giants in the playoffs. 04 Pittsburgh 15-1 Pats lumped them in Pittsburgh. Kicked their

asses. 1998 Minnesota 15-1. That was the Gary Anderson game against Atlanta. They lost the NFC title. The 85 Bears went 15-1. That was the Gary Anderson game against Atlanta. They lost the NFC title. The 85 Bears went 15-1 and won the Super Bowl. Is that the first one you said so far? That's the only one?

84 Niners 15-1. They won the Super Bowl. Then the 76 Raiders were 13-1. Pats got robbed when they played them. The Sugar Bear Hamilton roughing the pass at third and 17. Referee Ben Dredd,

first terrible football loss of my life. Raiders win the Super Bowl. So basically not since 1985 have we had a one loss or a zero loss team actually win the Super Bowl. And then the 09, I want to throw in the 09 Colts

because remember they were 14-0 and then they sat everyone the last two games. But I think they should count too. They lost to the Super Bowl of the Saints. I went through that list and those were all really distinct teams for the most part, except for maybe the 2011 Packers. But even that Panthers team, it's a really fun camp season. He was awesome that year. You go through you think like each team, 85 Bears, 84 Niners, 76 Raiders, like teams with real identities. I think to go 16 and one is a real achievement. Schedule was easy for the most part, but they still had to play your team twice. They had a couple other hard

ones in there, but I'm impressed. Well, nice job. I'm impressed with nephew Kyle for researching all that for you. That was good. Yeah. Thanks Kyle. Thanks for doing all that. Nice Kyle. Uh, it's a little extra in the Christmas kitty for you. Uh, yeah, but so, but at least half of them lost and all of them.

More than half. Two thirds. Two thirds. So what is it? The buy that hurt that slows them down? Although they probably, I think the one that a lot of them who named got to at least the championship game. Yeah.

It's basically they're guaranteed to make the title game, the conference title game, which they should because you get a buy-in round one. You're going to play round two, you're going to beat somebody. It's terrible. All right. Next, do you believe whether they make it or not,

do you believe Detroit is a playoff team? Do you think they're one of the seven best teams in the NFC? Alright, so now we've gone over this a couple times. Do I have to pick one team for the NFC South? No. If you're asking me like that.

Are they one of the seven best teams in the NFC? I think they might be the fifth best team in the NFC? I think they might be the fifth best team in the NFC. You're putting them better than Washington and better than the Giants. Yeah, and better than any NFC South team. Had they beaten the Bills on Thanksgiving, which wasn't out of the question,

this wouldn't even have been a topic, right? Goff has been good this season. I'm going to read you some stats. 33-58 passing yards, 20 touchdowns, 9 picks. 35-85 passing yards, 17 touchdowns, 5 picks. Or 33-52 passing yards,

22 touchdowns, 7 picks. Those are the numbers of Cousins, Brady, and Goff. Goff's numbers are better than Cousins. And he's having a better season than Brady, too. He's actually, like, if you look at his stats, he's now having one of the five best passing seasons

of any quarterback. And when you watch the games, it passes the eye test. Like, they're able to protect him. He's comfortable. He's got good receivers. They added that Jamison Williams had a 41 yarder today. Um, that trade was a great trade. That's the kind of trade,

like, you know, the nets did that when they did the, that D'Angelo Russell trade, when they got, um, they got Russell and they, and they took a contract and they got a pick.

And when you're like a shitty team like that, and you can try to be like, all right, we'll take this asset. You don't want to give us other stuff. Sometimes it works out. Goff. You think like they gave broken down Stafford,

who's now done in a year and a half. They got picks and golf. It's pretty good trade. Well, yeah. I mean, yeah. Sometimes every 30 years it works out.

You know, we have lions fans listening to it. Get thanks. We really suffered up until this point when our team may or may not make the playoffs. They finally made a good trade. You got to be safe. Absolutely. Plus, if you look at the draft right now, they have the fourth pick of the draft

courtesy of the Rams. It goes Houston, Chicago, Seattle picking third with Denver's pick, Detroit picking fourth with the Rams pick, and then Philly somehow picking fifth with New Orleans pick. With the draft as said. That's ridiculous. Listen, if you're in Detroit and you get

to the second week of December and the team hasn't given up on the coach, that is a major, major win. I don't care what kind of draft picks you have, right? So this team, we have some Lions fans, friends. They should be happy. And I think they will get a seven seed. Well, the best thing with that coach, they play hard for him.

He's going to fuck up three times in the game. Everyone was killing him today on the fourth and three. It was fourth and four from 39. I have no idea where they went for it. He's like, fuck it. How about at the end when he kicked the field goal? What were they, up seven? And he kicks a 49-yard field goal with 18 seconds left where I don't think

anything bad could have happened to them other than a field goal getting blocked. They could have punted it out of bounds. Minnesota has no chance. They need a touchdown. They were up eight, right? Yeah.

Yeah. They're up eight. Fuck it. We're kicking the field goal and Badger made it. But I think you just factored that in with the Lions. Now that Campbell's going to do three weird things. It's just part of the Lions. Campbell definitely had some

friends he didn't like who had the Vikings on a teaser. He's like, no, no, no. He's going to suffer here in the next 15 seconds. Teaser killer. I would like the coaches to come out on all these fourth and threes because they're all tough decisions, a lot of them, right? I'm going to pull the fans

ahead of time because I don't want to hear shit from you after this doesn't work. We called the right play and the guy dropped the screen and I'm going to get it. You're going to want me on the hot seat. They should take a vote from their seat to see which ones. That way there's no second guessing afterwards. Part

of it's a decision and part of it is just how stupid the play is. And it usually goes hand in hand with the dipshit coaches. Where, like, the Chargers, their first when they got stuffed in the first quarter,

it was this weird swing pass to the little running back receiver they have, where it's like the pass had to be perfect and catches them in stride.

So, and it was like, how is this your play? Yeah, Kelly, you have to go a yard and a half. This is, and then the second time they them in stride. It was like, how is this your play? Yeah, Kelly, you have to go a yard and a half. Then the second time they were in this situation, they did Eckhart and that was better. They throw so many times. Speaking of chicken shit coaches,

whatever you just said, mine, this is how I do. Joe has term. I like that and I have one now. We always have one in Big D there. But mine before the game said, we have two opponents today.

One's the Texans. The other one's in the mirror. I was like, oh, Jesus. Oh, that's so cringy. I knew we were in trouble as soon as I heard him say that. The other one's in the mirror? He said that unironically? Yeah, unironically.

He's not even auditioning for a part. That's it. He's like, the other one's in the mirror we had two opponents like take care of the one that's got one win and a tie or whatever the hell the Texans do and he couldn't even do that and that's why and when I heard Nico Collins and Brandon Cooks

weren't playing I'm like this is going to be like a three point game watch this well you were missing a bunch of guys in the secondary yeah and it was a classic look ahead to the next week game, all that stuff. I was just thinking as you were making fun of McCarthy, like mean Collinsworth, where if he was

the announcer and he was like, McCarthy, what a moron. He is just so stupid. I can't believe he's the coach. And he was just like really vicious and sarcastic. I do hope he gets him. Let him get to like 85 years old and we see kind of like a salty version of Chris.

You mean like kind of what's happening on Michael's right now? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Did you hear Al Thursday night when he was talking about the Rams? Yeah, he's getting so mad. Whose house?

Rams house. And Herb Street's like, you love that. He's like, no, I do not love that. I do not love that at all. By the way, I don't love that either. I don't imagine it drives him nuts. I won a five-team tease today in real life. Nice. I had the Jets.

It was like two and a half to one odds. I had the Jets adjusted to plus 17 and a half. The Ravens plus seven and a half adjusted. Bengals plus three and a half adjusted. 49ers plus three and a half adjusted. And then the last one was Texans plus 24 and a half adjusted 49ers plus three and a half adjusted and then the last one was Texans plus 24 and a half

oh no because I was like first of all the Texans always kind of hang around even though they suck and then your stupid team and I was like

what are the odds the Cowboys are going to beat them by 25 points so I threw them in and they took the lead and I was like this is great I got to cross that off

in five minutes. But you've gone to some dark places with Dak, which leads to the next Do You Believe? Do you believe in Dak? Well, we had two opponents today, Bill. I don't know if you know this. We had the one in the mirror. I was so mad at Dak today. I was so mad.

He was not sharp at all. I get it. If there's not four designed runs for him at this point, all right, at this point, I just have to live with it. That's just how it's going to be. But he is just getting to a point where he doesn't want to move at all in the pocket. He's getting pushed backwards by a lineman who's also

getting pushed backwards. What are you doing? And every throw is behind. Every six-yard screen is short, so the guy can't take it in stride and run. He really did worry me. Now, what can I say? He did have a 98-yard drive capped off by a Zeke touchdown to end it, but

he's got to get better in the next month. Otherwise, he's one of those teams I'm making fun of that he's in the Mike White category, won't be able to win three games in January. I think that's fair. By the way, can I just say that teaser you just said? People hate teasers, and you're going to get a lot of three games in January. I think that's fair. I certainly am not impressed. By the way, could I just say

that teaser you just said? People hate teasers and you're going to get a lot of shit for it. But that teaser, they all hit on the spread, you know? I mean, I'm sure

you know that by now. Yeah, yeah. And so, you gave up 18 to 1 odds if you would have just parlayed them together. That would have made way too much sense.

I did it for fun. It was like one of those 10 minutes before the early games. I was like, I like all these teams. I'm just doing it. Do you believe in Brock Purdy yet? Going back to our guy Brock, do you believe

he could at least be a decent quarterback on a really good team? Sure. Yeah. Because I think I do too. Yeah. I don't understand why every time a quarterback goes out, they, they're,

they have a better chance of winning. So that, that has to, that makes me think it's the, the team. But like I said, he might only have to, I'm leaving myself open in case there's a two or three interception game.

I want to be one of those guys that said, I told you he's no good, but he's fine for this team and I can go far with him. So I believe. They were thrown deep with him in a way that I'm not sure they were doing the same

with Grappa. I mean, the big thing with them is McCaffrey is so good and so much fun to watch drive to drive. Like talk about, I feel like we talk about this every week,

but he's just so perfect on that team and I love the way they use him. All these fun routes that work in video games, like wheel routes and stupid shit, like that little delayed screen passes. I believe in Brock Purdy as well. Do you still believe in this?

Could I just really say in his defense, maybe not in his defense, but I think he could even be better. I don't know why. What happened to George Kittle? I don't understand why he's not a huge part of this offense like he used to be. He had four

receptions today, and that's a big game for him. He had that one Monday night game a few weeks ago. But other than that, he's like, fit him in that offense and forget it. It's going to be a lights-out team. Do you think they're careful with him because he gets hurt so often? Yeah, maybe. They keep the bubble wrap on him?

I just remember him being like a Travis Kelsey where he could just get open in that second seam. It is weird. They don't run those little five-yard, give him the ball and just let him bowl people over. He rarely gets to do that anymore. Do you believe in Tennessee to win the AFC South? I guess I have to.

We're not going to take the Jaguars and the Panthers, are we, at this point? I think the Panthers are a much, much, much tastier bet because everyone in that division is bad. Tennessee, they really have to... I mean, Chargers, home Houston, home Dallas,

at Jacksonville, even if they win one of the next three, then they just have to hope Jacksonville falls in their face, right? Jacksonville goes Dallas at Giants at Houston. Right, yeah. No, at the Jets, Jacksonville. That's not the Giants. Oh yeah, you're right. My bad.

Yeah, that's a Thursday night game. Yeah, so my guess is Jacksonville will fuck this up before it even gets to that last game. I mean, they had it last week. All these people jumped is Jacksonville will fuck this up before it even gets to that last game. I mean, they had it last week. All these people jumped on Jacksonville last week against Detroit, right? And they rolled over. Although maybe now that loss doesn't look as bad as... So they got your team coming there next week. And my guess is there's going to be 35,000 Dallas fans there? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And your team's trying to get out the schneid. I think Tennessee still wins. I think Tennessee will be two up going into that last game, and it won't matter. Jacksonville does surprise me when they win on the road because you're just not used to it ever, right? But I guess now they have two road wins. I have two futures with the Titans

that I think are going to be my only losing futures. One was Tennessee under nine wins. They have seven. So even if they go nine and eight, I think I push and that gets wiped out. Right. Um,

it's not inconceivable that they go eight, nine though. I don't feel like that bet's dead. And then the other one is Titans. No, to make the playoffs, which was like, oof. That was minus 140. That's a tough one. The no was a minus? Really? Minus 140, yeah. There was a lot of like, the Titans don't have it this year

feel to it. But they're certainly like, they have not looked good for a couple weeks. I don't get it. We're all waiting for the big Derrick Henry game, and I know he had over 100, like 117, but I think he had two rushing yards in the second half. I don't know what the identity is of that team, other than they most of the time play good defense. Not today.

My big one was the Chiefs to win the division. That was plus 150. I had Cincinnati over 10 and Cincinnati to make the playoffs. I had Carolina over 6.5. Carolina, I didn't And Cincinnati to make the playoffs. I had Carolina over six and a half. Carolina. Oh, I didn't have them to make the playoffs. Cardinals under for wins and no to make the playoffs.

And then Bears under, which I think you had too. Which I think that one's pretty safe. So I feel pretty good. I never got in on the Eagles bets though. Everyone else got on the Eagles. And it felt like it got too, too kind of a bandwagon. Well,

take them now if you want. I mean, they are really tough. Last one. Turn the camera on Kyle. Oh, do you believe in the Panthers to win the NFC South? I mean,

the flip side is I have to believe in the, if I say no, that means I believe in Tom Brady and this miserable, miserable Bucs team. I'm going to say no. I think the Bucs eke it out. You think the Bucs eke it out? I'm sorry. I know this is insulting to you. I know

because this has been your thing for a month. Well, another option is the Falcons. The Falcons are at New Orleans next week. They're certainly not well coached or a good team. They can be 6-8. Then they're at Baltimore, home Arizona, and they have Tampa the last week of the season. If you're

telling me 7-10 could win the division, that brings everybody into play. Tampa's 6-7 now. Home Cincy. Let's say they lose. They're not going to beat Cincy. They'll certainly be underdogs. They'd be 6-8. At're not going to beat Cincy. They'll certainly be underdogs. So they'd be 6-8. At Arizona,

Kyler Murray running around. Who the hell knows that? Then Carolina at Atlanta. Tampa could go 6-11. They might have won their last game. They really might have. Every game you name, I'm jeopardizing our guess the lines here. The line

is going to be between 3 and 4 points. I know. Plus our guest of lines here. The line is going to be between three and four points. I know. Plus or minus, I think. Can they figure out a way to win one of those games? I have no idea. I'm just latching on to the fact that Tom Brady is going to wake up in late December.

I don't think it's happening. They can't really block and he can't really move. And they don't have the receivers that he usually likes to have. They don't have the slot guy. They can't really block and he can't really move. And they don't have the receivers that he usually likes to have. They don't have the slot guy. They don't have the third down back. Mike Evans seems like he's scored 10 times this year on touchdowns that have been called back. Yeah. I actually think he's in an alternate universe having a great season.

Godwin's been fine, but he hasn't looked like the Godwin from two years ago. And they really miss like that. They don't have that Gronk guy. They don't have that big, barreling third and eight whatever. And they can't really block. Defensively, they're blocked. Yeah, the touchdown they caught was by accident today. It was weird.

And believe me, Mike Evans is not having a great year. I have him on like four of my seven fantasy league teams. Definitely not. But you're right. Between pass interferences and penalties that everything's called back with him they can't get in a flow at all and it wasn't happening today here's what I want to say about Tampa Bay

like if Brady hangs it up at the end I don't know who he's not going to talk to Giselle at the end I don't know who he's not hanging up he's playing next year they got taken off the local Fox game Simmons that's how bad it was with two hours into the game. There was 13 minutes

left in the third quarter and Fox went to the Seattle Carolina game. And that's never happened for Brady. He's never been on the bad end of that. But if you're discussing whether you want to come back next year, they're like, all right, well, I don't know. Did the network take you off the air? It's like, yeah,

yeah. Okay. Were you playing Pat Mahomes? You must have been playing Patrick Mahomes or something. No, I was playing Brock Purdy. We were down 28 in the third quarter. That's really weird stuff for Brady. Yeah, Brock Purdy knocked me off the national game. He did. Quickly, FanDuel has for MVP right now.

Hurts is basically even? No. Minus 105. Oh, I thought he'd have a big minus ahead basically even? No. Minus 105. Yeah, in FanDuel he is. Oh, I thought he'd have a big minus ahead of him. Really? Minus 105. Mahomes is plus 140.

And then it drops big time. Burrow plus 750. Allen's 18-1. With Denny, it starts going up. So basically, it's Hurts versus Mahomes with four weeks left.

I think we have to do Hurts because I do, back to your Do You Believe? I think it was one of the first of the 37 Do You Believes. I think we have to do Hurts because I do, back to your Do You Believe? I think it was one of the first of the 37 Do You Believes. I think Philadelphia could go 16-1.

Yeah. Then you have to give it to him. You have to give it to him. Yeah. So what, just quickly, what are his stats? Minus 105.

I thought he'd be like minus 150 for sure coming into this week. And he's got the, for the most part, he's got enough of a statistical resume. Well, his running stats

are insane. Yeah, I can't compare. Those won't stack up. I know Mahomes has the tosses, but. So he's thrown 22 touchdowns, three picks,

3,157 passing yards. He's rushed for 686 yards and 10 touchdowns. Yeah, 10 double touchdowns. And his team's 12-1. How is this even a discussion? Yeah, before Kyle posts this, we're betting on this.

Right. The other one that I thought, oh, I guess they don't have the one up yet. The rookie of the year, I thought, because Kenneth Walker was a favorite at some point. He didn't play today. Seattle might not make the playoffs now. And I think Garrett Wilson, these last four games,

and I think he's probably, I don't know, plus 250, something like that? Yeah, he was 6-1 two weeks ago. But I think he's plus 250. Who was second after Walker? Why can't I figure this out? Was it another receiver? No, it goes in that Chris Olave, all those dudes. But it's either Wilson or Walker.

And then coach of the year, I guess, is going to be Sirianni because I haven't even seen odds for those. I have a bet on him. Yeah. He's not a huge favorite, but he was a favorite. Yeah. Oh, I wrote this down. I say this anytime we're in the range of this.

If a team doesn't go 500, should they make the playoffs? Should we just have a rule? A division winner? Would it be more fun with the NFC South right now if we either said 500 or you have to get to eight wins? If you don't get eight wins, you can win your division,

but you're still not getting in. The bye just gets kind of passed and Dallas would become the four seed. I really do think that's an idea they should think about because if you look at the NFC South, it's four of the worst 10 teams in the league are on that division, right? Should you benefit from that?

Just by proximity, randomness, you're just in this shitty thing. I don't think it's a lot to ask to ask a team to go 8-9 or 8-8-1. I mean, there's a discussion in every sport, right? Hockey, college football should one of the big five

if the conference is low. I mean, are you saying this because I'm going to make the fantasy playoffs at 6-7? Is that why you're bringing this up? Is this a shot at me? No. In our West Coast League?

Yeah, the one you were taunting me with. Who were you taunting me with? You're making it? I think I am. I think I'm going to be a six seed. Yeah, you know what that means. My team taunted your team, and now we're going to see each other at the playoffs. You're done, buddy.

You're done. Wrap it up. No, I think you go into the season. The goal is the short-term goals to win the division, right? And I know there are going to be some years where the division's better than the other and you're not going to be better. I think it's...

Now, if you want to give them... If you want to start them on the road, that's another thing. Like, rank them by record after that. But I do think they make the playoffs. I think hockey does it that way. You know, right now, it's four NFC East teams, which has

never happened because we've only had seven seeds for a couple years now. It was impossible before, but this would be the first time. Congratulations. We're going to take a break and we will do Guess the Lines. Alright, Guess the Lines. A couple great things about this week.

First, it's week one of the fantasy playoffs in any league. Second, we have three Saturday games. The week before Christmas, this is, you and I have been doing this podcast 16 years. We call this the don't get divorced weekend. The football games aren't great. It's Vikings, Colts, Ravens, Browns, and Bills, Dolphins, which is a really good one.

That's a good one. Which is going against parties and all kinds of stuff. But just for the people listening who might be in relationships where they like football and they're significant others, don't get divorced. Well, here's why it's a little easier than it was maybe 15 years when we started this. What it also is, is the Saturday

before Christmas. There'll be another Saturday right before Christmas. Christmas Eve is the 24th also, but the 17th is a Saturday. Normally, your last real last push to shop, right? But now with online shopping, you don't have to make your significant

other like, come on, just go pick up some gift cards for Janie or something. So do it all online. Get it out of the way so you can enjoy the game. Do it online as you're watching these games. Great points, Sal. All right. Week 15. What are our records? I won last week.

So it's 6-4 and 3? 6-4-4. All right. You're striking this in. I think I'm gonna win this week have a nice feel of the league right now alright million dollar picks

I I'm back to pretty much even in million dollar picks I'm proud I looked at those teams I'm like Jets Lions

what is he doing you had Steelers too right there somewhere Steelers was the only one and honestly I think I would've won that one too except for the

the the knowing trusting hands Mitchell Trubisky. He comes in and he'll look good for a half hour, right? Because he doesn't know who's going to play. And he'll be like, oh, look at Trubisky. There he goes. And then he just sits on the bench when the defense is out there thinking like, I'm not fooling anyone.

I'm Mitch Trubisky. They're going to figure me out. And then he just can't help himself. He just can't help himself. Or maybe the defense when he's off the field, like maybe the Ravens defense when they were off the field

were watching tape on him. Some guys, it takes hours to watch tape. Maybe you just need like six minutes of tape on Trubisky. Two minutes. In between possessions.

He threw three picks on Baltimore turf and they got a field goal block. But there was one, there was a terrible pick on third down. They're and they got a field goal block. But there was one, there was a terrible pick on third down. They're about to kick a field goal. They would be done three. They got a Campbell block to field goal. They were in that game.

It was yet another game where you watch the Ravens and you just go, God damn, how do they win these games? Like in this game, Huntley got hurt. They brought in the third stringer. It didn't even really seem to matter. They started running on Pittsburgh. I think the one thing with Pittsburgh that I noticed that I'm finally aware for this week is

Watt seems like he's banged up. You didn't really see him in the game today. So I don't know if defensively, it just seems like you can kind of run the ball down the throat. They're playing the Panthers this week. Panthers are going to watch that tape and be like, oh, this is great.

We're just going to run the ball. They're running... The Ravens are running J.K. Dobbins and Gus Edwards down their throats. That was the first time they played since 2020, I think. They played together. Yeah. You might throw that out, though, because that's always... That's the best rivalry in football, right? And it's always hard-hitting. It's always physical.

And it's always 16-14, regardless. It was a very hard hitting game. So there was a play in that game. Pickett got whipped down. And I thought it was like an automatic. They've called this all year. That's 15 yards rough in it. Nope. They don't call anything. They show the replay. It's like, whoa, that was

even worse than it seemed live. And then you go to the Herbert game today where the Dolphins guy just sacks him, puts his hands out so he lands on himself instead of Herbert. They still call it. The league has no idea what they're doing with this rule. Game to game, it makes no sense. It's completely erratic.

It's stupid. Thursday night, our guy Brock Purdy, Brock Toon. He is in Seattle playing a reeling Seahawks team that if the Panthers had just said for four quarters were running the ball, would have run for 300 yards. As it was, they ran for 200. Yeah. But the Seahawks defense, they just cannot stop anything. And Geno, this was the worst Geno game we've had this year

from a sense of, oh, that's the Geno Smith that I thought we were getting before the season. So I don't know if it was an aberration or not. I'll say this. I meant to hitch up on this. In the beginning of the week, we talked about it on Against the Laws. The Seahawks were plus 340 to not make the playoffs.

I was like, really? Because if they lose this Panthers game, they're kind of on the outside looking in. Not only did they lose, like you said, they got run on. And it wasn't like Derrick Henry running on them. It was guys that we kind of have heard of, but not really. Yeah, whatever. It's fine.

Foreman. Yeah. But over 200 yards. And Chubba Hubbard. Well, I don't trust them against anyone if you're going to give up 200 yards to the Chubba Hubbards and the Foreman, the guy from Texas. And they play the 49ers, the Chiefs, the Jets and the Rams last, but that might not even matter. I think

the Jets will be able to run on too. I think this is an awful matchup for them. You could make a case the Niners don't 100% need this game unless they want to go for the two seed, but I have the 49ers in Seattle favored by three and a half. Oh, jerk.

That's exactly it. I said four and a half. Why'd you say three and a half? I mean, you were right, but why'd you say it? Because I think these Thursday night games, I think they nudge it toward the home team a little bit. We've seen that over and over again. I just wonder, does it favor the more physical team? There's not

been a team more physical than the Niners that we've seen. Or is the physical team so banged up that they might take a Thursday off? You might be right. Every time I'm like, I'm never betting on the Thursday night game again. It's too random. It's like shaking a snow globe.

And then Thursday night, I'm like, oh, I got to put the Raiders in a couple teases. I can't resist that. I go to dinner. It's 16-0, I'm like, oh, I got to put the Raiders in a couple of teases. I can't resist that. I go to dinner. It's 16-0, 13-0, whatever it was. I didn't look again. I was in the car driving to dinner and the announcers were like, I swear to God, the announcers were going, the Rams don't, it was late second quarter. They're like, the Rams don't look like they want to be out there, Jim.

I was like, yeah, they look just spiritless. They look dead. I'm like, this is great. I was like, yeah, they look just spiritless. They look dead. I'm like, this is great. I'm not even going to look at the game during dinner. I look at the game and it's 17-16 final. And I'm like, what? What happened? And go back home, rewind it on Amazon.

And that was the dumbest loss of the year. I even think that might have been dumber than the Browns-Jets game. When Chubb could have just fallen down and instead he went in the end zone and all of a sudden they lost. This was spectacularly dumb and you bring up some good points because the referees really got involved. That was by far the worst ref game, right? Because you had one guy. That was like a borderline.

It was fixed game. Yeah. Yeah. Max Crosby was like, okay, you're allowed to horse collar one guy for the next eight plays. Like, all right, we want that guy. Like, all right, go ahead, do it. That's what happened in the Saints-Bucks game. They were just

like manhandling the D-line. Sometimes the refs are just like, yeah, we kind of want to see a comeback. Do whatever you need to do to hold it. And those, right, and they were both 16-3 with a few minutes left in the fourth quarter and both ended up 17-16. Most famous example of that ever was Giants-Pats, the first one, 18-0 Pats.

What happened? Giants offensive line. It was just, you know, it was a rugby match for the entire last few minutes. I love how you're crying about the Raiders-Pats. You benefited from a Raiders-Pats playoff win with a crazy goal.

Go look at the helmet catch. Count the holdings. You'll get up to like seven. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I hope you're on the Manning cast one day and you could discuss this.

I will confront Eli with this myself alright Saturday Vikings the worst team ever by DVOA the worst 10-2 team

of all time according to Football Outsiders hosting the Colts a terrible team that I've somehow gambled on I think 8 of their games this year and I'm probably going to be

putting the Vikings in a tease. I have, uh, the Vikings favored by six and a half. All right. You're going to get it. I said seven. Now I know they treat the 10 and three Vikings like they're three and 10 when

they try to figure out a line, but it is the Colts and it's the Colts on the road. So I was like, that's seven. It's a touchdown. It's four and a half Simmons. Oh my God. Four and a half.

And yet I still think if you pick this right, you deserve whatever. You get an extra Christmas tree. This is insane. I think this goes to six by Saturday would be my guess. Yeah. No way. It's a teaser game. Wouldn't it be nice to have one teaser game for Saturday?

This ain't it. It's not it unless you want to bring the Colts backwards, which I wouldn't suggest. Next one is Ravens at Cleveland, which is normally a fun game. I can't believe how bad Watson is. I don't know what to make of it. It's actually he's worse than Russell Wilson.

Don't feel bad. You just, you know, you root for the wrong guy. That's all. Root for Watson. You just, you know, you root for the wrong guy. That's all. Root for Watson. You'll find someone else. I feel like telling America who picked him up at our fantasy leagues. Watson's just awful. It really makes you wonder, like, can you take off two years from playing quarterback?

Like, how long does it actually take for it to come back? We underrate how impossible that position is. To just be like, all right, guys, I'm back. And you have 300-pound guys throwing at you. He's so bad. I thought that was a winnable game for them today because the Bengals were asleep for, I don't know, two hours? But I also think they play harder against them.

I think both teams, even the Texans. Yeah, it's good rivalry. It's like the guy who goes to jail for murder or whatever, some weird murder. Like, yeah, we're going to get him. Well, you're all murderers. What are you talking about? They're really like, they're singling him out.

Yeah. I don't know. I guess, what was Huntley? Is he playing? I don't know. Did you factor the line like he was Huntley? Is he playing? Did you factor the line? Like he's playing. I factored in like he's playing and I have the Ravens by one and a half. That's exactly what,

you know, we deserve to split on this because I factored in like he's playing, but the odds makers are not. It's minus three Cleveland favorite. Oh, Jesus. So we may see the, uh,

Oregon quarterback Brown there. I don't... I just think this Ravens team, they'll just figure out a way to win somehow. They'll get like two special teams touchdowns, a Watson fumble touchdown. They'll do it. I hope so. Last one, night game.

Bills versus the Reeling Dolphins in Buffalo. We'll see what the weather is, but this will be a good one for the whole what is Tua going to look like if the weather's terrible, potentially. I have the Bills by six. You're killing me today. I had five.

It's six and a half. Tease. Maybe I'll change it to six. I'm going to change mine to six and a half, so I win that one. No, that's not fair. That is a tease, right? That's a half. Tease. Maybe I'll change it to six. I'm going to change mine to six and a half. So I win that one. No, that's not fair. That is a tease, right? But are you nervous about it?

I'm a little... Only because this guy could connect on two plays. So this is the game that the Bills have been waiting for, right? Yeah. None of this other crap?

Okay. All right. So we'll tease it then. Well, more importantly for the Bills, they're 10-3, Miami's 8-5. This is like they wrap up the AFC

East and one of the top two seats. All they have to do is win one game. It's not a kitchen sink game for them, but it's a big one. Sunday marquee game. I can't believe I'm putting the Bucks in this.

Wow. Tampa hosting Cincinnati and Joe Burrow, Tom Brady against the guy who out of all the current guys kind of reminds me the most of Tom Brady. More importantly, Tampa trying to avenge being pulled off the national game at like two 58 Pacific time. You should be able to bet that. Will this game be pulled off the airways?

Oh, that's a great idea. Yes. Get that going. That would be a really good one. Because what does it happen? Like twice a year? And then you have to switch TVs on the screens and it's like, oh, now I got to go to DirecTV and find what the DirecTV channel is versus national.

Yeah, 794 or whatever it is. Right. I have the Bengals favored by three, and I think it should be higher. We split this. I said four. It's three and a half. So it is higher.

I think that gets to like four, four and a half. What does that mean? I have them favored by three, but I think it should be higher. So say the higher number. Because I think Tampa, I don't...

I'm not positive people understand how bad they are yet. Yeah. Like, honestly, that line should be like Bengals by six. Cause it doesn't matter. It's not like it matters if Tampa's home or away. Um,

that's a nice spot for the Bengals. They're catching the bucks at a good time. It really is. The only thing is if he sacked or not, right. That's the first thing I ever think about with the Bengals. All right. What's this pass rush going to be like? Or patch rush

as Chris says. Pass rush. It is pass rush. It's impressive. But I think he only got sacked once again today, right? He's been doing all right offensively. He's been good. Boyd got hurt in the game, but they're running. The fact that P. Ryan

is good now, they really have like a double barrel attack. They have random receivers. Now there's some random white guy, number 16 who catches plays now. Yeah. Um, and readers back. The only thing is Hendrickson Hendrickson broke his wrist today,

which I, I don't know if he's going to try to play with it or what the deal is, but, um, that's probably their third best guy in defense. So that wasn't awesome. All right. I have a special category, Sal.

Ooh. It's a loser leaves town category. We got three games. Yeah. I see two of them. Oh, I see all three. Okay. First one.

Saints home for the Falcons. Amazingly, the Saints have been like, guys, we've already quit for the season. We've already made reservations in Ruba in the Bahamas. What do you mean? They have nine losses. They're two games back. You can't say they're out yet.

They could go 8-9 and win. They'd have to run the table, this team. I'll play along. Well, Tampa's six and seven. We've already established they could easily lose the next four. Right?

Seven and ten could win that division and New Orleans is four or nine. So you could argue they go three and one and they could win the division. I'm not ruling anyone out in that three and one.

Seven and ten. All right. Seven and ten could win that division. You might end up in some weird tie. I guess you're right. I guess you're right.

Falcons are 5-8. So they're like, if we win this and Bucs lose, we're tied with them. I have the Saints by 2 over the Falcons. Desmond Ritter playing in this game, by the way. Alright, I finally win 1. Oh, that's right. It's Ritter. I had 2.5. It's 3.5. I like the Falcons.

That's a good stay away. Pick one team in the NFC South and stick with it. Don't try to figure these other games out. I think the Falcons, once there was enough tape on Mariota, they were pretty much crippled by him because he just can't throw the ball really at all. And once there was enough out there, that was it. Ritter, I think it'll be a little like picking on the Steelers.

Even if he can move around and complete some passes, it's still something they didn't have before. I like the Falcons in that game. I think they're better. There's about 57 years of tape of Andy Dalton out is the problem. He keeps changing his facial hair to try to throw the ball. Just find a VCR. Yeah, right.

Next one. Loser leaves town. Jets-Lions. Oh, already? Yeah. Yeah, because who can lose this game? Lions lose. They're done.

Put a fork in them. They'll have eight losses. Jets 7-7 if they lose this. Three games left. Yeah, they're done too. But all the games are hard. They have to lose. Oh, you're right lose this. Yeah, they're done too. But all the games are hard. Oh, you're right. Okay. Yeah, you're right. This is it. Mike White versus Jared Goff.

Mm-hmm. This is a bummer for me because these are two teams I like betting on and I kind of believe in as being a little underrated, but unfortunately they're playing each other. Move this to Sunday night. Move it to Sunday night. Yeah, this is the best game of all the games. Do it.

It's the number one game. They should flex this. Everyone's got plans already. Do it. I have Jets by two and a half. All right, I win this one, too. I said one and a half. It's one.

Oh, that's too low. I'm getting back in it now. No, that's too low. That's a lot of respect for Jared Goff in Giant Stadium against a good Jets defense. Well, he was just favored against a 10-2 team. Yeah, but that's

their business. Vikings. This is a defense that will actually hit him and blitz him. The Vikings beat the Jets two weeks ago. They shouldn't have.

Last loser leaves town. Panthers-Steelers. Either team loses, they're done. The Steelers are probably already done, but the Panthers are definitely done. There's no way you're going to stop bragging about the Panthers if they lose this game.

If they win this game. If they lose, you're not going to say they've left town. There's no way you're going to stop. It's not a loser leaves town for them. You just said the Saints can get in with nine losses. Yeah, you're right. The Steelers already left town. There's no way you're going to stop. It's not a lose-or-leaves town for them. You just said the Saints can get in with nine losses. Yeah, you're right. The Steelers already left town.

I think they packed and they packed their bags. You're right. This isn't, I guess. Well, let's do it anyway. Panthers home for the Steelers. I'm going to say Panthers by three. I said three also. Only two.

I'm betting that tonight. Are you betting it more if it's Trubisky or if it's... Do we even know? Does he have to sit a game, pick it? I mean, if it's Trubisky, that's perfect. He has a week to think about that he's starting. He'll be a mess. Right, that's true.

We like him when he comes in for one quarter. Here's my Darnold scouting report. First half, he's fine. They have like the seven, eight plays that they practice all week and he knows he can throw them. As the game went along, he made me more and more nervous.

And at some point during that game, I was like, just fucking hand off. Like, stop having him rolling out and doing stuff. Like, just be careful. He's fast is the one thing with Darnold that I think I always forget. He had like a 30-yard scramble. He looked like fucking Josh Allen. But you know what we can't forget?

We can't forget that he's Sam Darnold. And I do worry about the playoffs. There's going to be a bunch of middling quarterbacks in here. And we're going to have a few damn it, I knew it moments in the playoffs. Like, damn it, I knew it. I shouldn't have bet Danny Dimes or Taylor Heineke or Sam Darnold or, you know, Geno Smith.

I mean, there really is going to be six or seven of them. To a tagliabue. There you go. I couldn't say his name. The, as you know, I'm all in on this Panthers team. I stayed for the interview after the game.

And the announcer said something like, Sam, what is it about this Panthers team? What makes you guys, why are you guys coming on? He's like, run the ball. Run the ball. That's our recipe. Just run the ball. I was like, that's right, Sam. And don't you fucking forget it.

Run the ball. Hand the fucking ball off, Sam. One of the best handlers offers out there. You find me a better. They're a decent team. They're playing hard for that coach too. Matt Ruhle's got to be going nuts. Yeah, yeah. He's got a lot of money, but he'll, yeah.

Now he's just got to be like, he's like, oh, if I just bench Baker. And then on top of it, Baker leads this comeback on the rim. He's like, God, what? just bench Baker. And then on top of it, Baker leads this comeback on the rim. He's like, God. He's a big Hollywood star. The watchables. I got one game.

I think this Cowboys-Jags is a good game. Cowboys at Jacksonville. The crowd will be good. I like watching both teams. Both teams could go either way. Could be terrible or great. Good or decent. Bad or worse.

I think you're favored. And I think it's gonna be Cowboys by three. Oh, wow. Talk about no respect. I said five and a half. It's six. No, that's stupid.

Come on. Come on. We're 10 and three. We got five game lead on this Jaguars. Get the fuck out of here. What is the matter with you? That game today was an embarrassment.

The Texans, I didn't even know who the receivers were. We took care of business. We got a little confused by the Davis Mills, Jeff Driscoll thing. It really did seem like Lovie Smith played for 59 minutes. It's like, oh, crap. We got to play for April. What am I doing here? This has been fun, but I have to think about April.

Otherwise the guy who replaces me next season is going to be stuck with Jeff Driscoll and Davis Mills. I feel like they really gave it up. I think they have like a shock thing on his leg or something that they shock him to remind him that he's supposed to be losing the game. Right. But yeah, they threw away the last four minutes.

That's one of the best. Wouldn't you rather, you know, it's great to have an owner's box mic'd up, but just for the very reason you said, wouldn't you want to hear what the Texans are saying? Because they don't really show, or they should show the booth at least. Well, can they talk to them in the headset?

I'm sure they can talk. There is a phone in there. There's a phone. They're probably in the headset. Lovey, the GM's cutting in here for one second. He's like, Hey, lovey, uh, the GF's cutting in here for one second. He's like, Hey lovey, what the fuck are you doing?

The fuck are you doing? You have to lose so we can blame you. And then it's fine. It'd be great. Oh, you'll be the fucking hero. If we beat the Cowboys, how motherfucker lose this fucking game,

go to the prevent. The dolphins made it impossible to do that, that bit anymore. But yeah, it was a reality. True. The fairly watchables, we got two. Chargers, Titans in Los Angeles.

I do not think there will be a lot of Titans fans on hand for this one, would be my guess. I could be crazy. I heard some Chargers fans today, I thought, on my television. I did too. Yeah, maybe they're coming on. I got Chargers fans today I thought on my television I did too Yeah maybe they're coming I got Chargers by two and a half I get it

I said one It's one and a half Jesus One and a half Seven to six Wait a second What is that line? Chargers one and a half

Are you sure that's one and a half? That doesn't make sense Why would the Titans aren't playing well? That doesn't make sense. Why would the Titans aren't playing well? I don't get that at all. See, now it went to two and a half. So what do we do? I mean, I'm not a liar.

I'll give you a tie. You're cheating. Are you cheating? It goes up, but when I look at it at 445, it's different. All right, I'll give you that. Why don't you do the lines for what they are right now? All right.

That's fine. I mean, I can go back. Maybe one of them went my way, too. Yeah, I do get it. No, you should do it the way you did it. No, I'm giving it to you. I'm giving it to you. It's 7-7.

It's 7-7, so let's play it out. There's no way that line's not going to end up at Chargers by three. Why would they open it at one and a half? They were getting points against Miami. So this is just another playoff. The Titans have been terrible. Yeah. It's fair.

Raiders-Pats in Vegas. They took it off the night. Took it off the night took it off the night and I think the Raiders are going to be favored and I can't believe it but I'm going to say Raiders by one and a half

alright who's looking at the lines now that's exactly what it is it's Raiders by one and a half I thought your team was favored by one we stink why would my team be favored

we're going to lose to the Cardinals tomorrow night no you'll win one of these two games no we're going to lose to the Cardinals you're definitely winning one of these two games we're going to lose to the Cardinals tomorrow night. No, you'll win one of these two games. No, we're going to lose to the Cardinals. You're definitely winning one of these two games. We're going to lose to the Cardinals. And it's going to be this whole Belichick come to Jesus moment about his

coaching staff, Brady coming back. It's going to turn into a complete shit show. Brady should not come back. At least our baseball team sucks. Xander's playing tight end for the Raiders. Xander Bogart. Xander. They offered Xander $90 million a year ago.

He signs for 280 this year. Fucking jackasses. Eagles are at Chicago. And I don't know what to make of this one, but I know it's going to be a very high line. I had the Eagles by 13 in Chicago. Oh, not that high. I said nine.

It's eight and a half. Oh, Jesus. Why is that so low? Off a buy, I guess they just keep figuring the Eagles are going to take it easy at some point. So that's a,

I mean, that's still in a teaser range for the seven-point tease, right? Yeah. They're not going to lose in Chicago. Yeah, I guess not. Are you thinking about the Bears in an upset? No, no. I don't know why. I just have a weird feeling. I'm so proud

of myself for picking the Eagles' only loss, so I always think I could do it again. What's interesting, the Bears would be the second pick in the draft right now, right? And I haven't seen how the draft shook out, but aren't there quarterbacks at least in the top two? They're not going to take a quarterback.

But I'm saying it could be a situation where they get the second pick, but they get to move back, get the big mother load trade. So in a weird way, the second pick would be great for them. Yeah. They have the four guys probably going to be in the top

seven for quarterback. Who's your favorite quarterback? I still like Bryce Young. I know we've had some weird stuff with these Alabama quarterbacks before, but he seems different to me. I like him too. It does seem like one of those things

where you go all in on him and then in week five some 340 pound guy lands on him and he's just never seen again. Right. What does he weigh? Like 180? Yeah, he is one of the lighter ones. Oh my God. Chiefs Texans in Houston.

Is it okay if I go huge on this one? I'm going to say Chiefs by 14. I think you got it exactly. I said, yeah, I said 13 and a half. Jerk. You stole it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 to 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Wait, I have six.

You have nine? Did you win the last two? No, you won. You get the charges. Go ahead. I'm not going to. No, take it. Jacoby's going to have a problem with this.

No, you get the. I have to win the next three. You used up 445 lines. No, you're up one. Oh, I did. I did win the one. No, it's the... I have to win the next three. You used up 445 lines. No, you're up one. Oh, I did win the one. No, it's seven now. Yeah. Go ahead.

Yep. Did you see the play today when Mahomes was about to get sacked and he flung it from a... That's ridiculous. That's a new one. He's never done that before. I had a friend.

It was before you came along, but he worked at the Man Show. And when the Man Show wasn't on, he would write for the globetrotters he would like write bits for them like uh maybe if the confetti comes off here or something you know i feel like mahomes has one of these guys like all right now i've done the behind the back i've done the one that's kind of through my legs this one was like a um what's the uh ski ball or something like that that was a weird that was a motion we've not seen before. Right.

I've never seen that in my life. I'm trying to think what's left for him. Like he could. Yeah. Like do like, you know, in tennis when they hit it between their legs, like what's his version of that? He could like throw up between his legs,

I guess. Right. Maybe. Right. Could he throw up between a player's legs? Like a, a rusher he's fallen down and throws it between their legs, through their legs to somebody behind them.

It'd be great if it was like a trick shot quarterback coach kind of thing. What if he wigged it off somebody's helmet so that it bounced off the helmet to the right? Oh, that's fun. Yeah, that's good. Off a referee. I mean, these are all things I would not believe with Patrick Robes. Yeah, he's going to be bored at some point.

He's going to have to try it. He's great. It's just too bad Collinsworth wasn't doing the game for that one. By the way, he was supposed to. That was a game that was flexed out. That was exactly the game he was supposed to do. Smart move. Speaking of the Broncos getting flexed out,

they are home for the Cardinals. Get ready for the Kyler Russ. All those stories. We don't know if Russ is going to play. I had a lot of trouble with this. For some reason, I just can't favor the Broncos against anybody, so I thought Cardinals by one.

They're going to win legitimately, it turns out. I had them by three. I'm banking on Russ. Russ took a beating. Who'd you have by three? The Cardinals? Yeah. He's not going to be back, is he? What's the line?

I'm sorry. It's one and a half, but they're treating it like he's going to be back, right? I mean, one of the rules, I don't know what the rules are with concussions, but if they have a closeup of the guy and he's like in La La Land, like it's a Tom and Jerry cartoon, probably sit him out for a week really bad like he was like it was like his eyes were almost rolling back in his head that was bad it's like get him off the

field he's not playing in the next play please Sunday night the game that was flexed Danny Dimes and the Giants travel to Washington for Heineke and the C words.

And this line is either Washington by three or Washington by three and a half. And I'm going to suck it up and I'm going to say Washington by three and a half. All right. It's four and a half. I said four. So I get this. Oh, shit. Four and a half.

I'm very surprised. Well, you shouldn't be. They were favored in New York, weren't they? I mean, it ended up being a tie, but I think they were a one-point favorite in New York. Yeah, I guess you're right. That seems high, though. Just seems like that's a...

I'm so down on this Giants team. That game was so... You watched that whole game right Oh yeah They were like dead even There was Nobody was better than anybody else Oh yeah

I also watched today When they just got thrown around By those Eagles But I guess it's different Monday night Packers Rams A game that looked awesome in August

Yeah Does Rodgers play in this game you think? I think so I'll tell you the the the line suggests that he does yeah I had seven and a half for the Packers

no that's exactly right alright so you win the week I said I said five and are we allowed to tease the Packers I was just gonna say happier times we would have teased it, right?

But we don't want everything riding on a teaser that ends on Monday night with Baker Mayfield's comeback story. Well, the thing is, the Raiders fucked over. The teases won all last week, right? Mm-hmm. And then the Raiders fucked over everybody on Thursday. But then the teases all won again today, it seems like, unless you did the Vikings backwards.

Was that the one? All the other version. But I mean, not that many people teased the dog backwards. But all the other ones, like the Bengals won. The Niners, if you did them in like a parlay tease, they won. Who was the other six and a half? Oh, the Eagles. Bengals.

Bengals were the other one. Yeah. Seattle, though, lost, right? They were six, weren't they? I thought they were down to like three and a half. Oh, actually, they went down. I'm looking at last week's lines when we guessed. The Cowboys would have lost for you if you did that.

But yeah. All right. Congratulations. 744. Makes it harder for me. I'll get there. Well, we got three weeks left after this week. All right. Congratulations. 744. Makes it harder for me. I'll get there. Well, we got three weeks left after this week. All right. Let's take a break and do some Parent Corner. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by SimpliSafe Home Security. As a child, there's nothing quite like the magic of the holidays. that sense of comfort and safety from being home with the family.

I remember when I was a kid, somebody broke into our house through the basement right around the holidays, and it was disturbing as all hell. I still remember. I still remember seeing the door smashed open. This is why you want SimpliSafe. This is why you want to protect your kids. Even with the grown-up awareness of the outside world, you can get peace of mind

by ensuring your home is safe and secure for the holidays. That's why SimpliSafe is offering listeners 40% off a new SimpliSafe security system. But you must act fast because the offer ends today. All right, Sal, you're up. All right, mine's kind of short. I just, this is just like a funny thing that my youngest eight-year-old's going to

turn nine. He got really upset with me about it. So I think it's hilarious. Baseball in California, if your kid loves baseball, you can play like 11 months out of the year. It's insane. So we had a tournament about an hour away in Mission Viejo, which sounds

like a war-torn country that you don't want to go to, but it's actually nice. Still an hour, hour Mission Viejo, which sounds like a war-torn country that you don't want to go to, but it's actually nice. But still an hour, hour and a half away. And of course, you have to get there early in the morning, the way all these games set up. So it's early in the morning.

Just him getting his clothes on and getting out the door and eating a bar and packing a water and all that stuff. We're screaming at each other there. And we get in the car and he gets to the game

and they're playing this good team, but we have a runner on first and Harrison comes to bat. There's two outs. He comes to bat. He does all his things. He has this whole stupid thing, like where he does his calisthenics. And then he hits his bat on the plate like three times.

He's very superstitious and he gets it back and he's like wiggling in the box. And the runner on first takes off the pitch comes in harrison like kind of leans in uh to hit it but stays off of it the catcher throws to second hits harrison in the head and the umpire calls harrison out what because it's it's batter interference because the catcher hit catcher hit the batter in the head and the batter wasn't in the batter's box and it's batter interference because the catcher hit the batter in the head and the batter wasn't in the batter's box.

And it was like out, inning over. And that was the only pitch he saw after an hour and a half of getting him together and getting his clothes and getting his socks and his sleeves and everything on and the eye black and all that other nonsense. And I am laughing so hard and he gets so mad at me. He's like screaming at me. He's like, it's not funny. And I did everything I hard and he gets so mad at me. He's like screaming at me. He's like, it's not funny. And I did everything I could to get out of the way. And the umpire knows I did. I was like, Harrison, it's physically impossible for him to hit you with a pitch

with the throw of the second if you're not in the way between catcher and second. It's not batter interference. Exactly. He's screaming. It was just so funny that that was the only pitch of the at-bat. And he got sent walking back to the dugout. So that's it. That's my parent corner. Baseball season's too long. So you've at least hit the stage with youth athletes where you could make fun of them on the way home. Yeah, exactly.

I can get mad at the other coaches for not caring about his well-being and just immediately yelling, he said that was a batter interference. I'm like, all right, my kid's woozy. He's like, he's walking to the blue tent. Yeah, can we just wait like five seconds? Can we give a five Mississippi count before we start like getting into the rules? But no, he was out and I got a kick out of it.

I think I mentioned on Parent Corner last week that my son made a list with his off-season goals that he put on the, on his, I don't think you did. Did you? I didn't. Okay.

My son came home one day and he's like, that's it. I'm going to become a better person. This is on a Monday. And we're like, okay, what happened? It's good.

I don't want to talk about it, but I'm, I'm just, I'm getting focused starting today. Like, all right, great. Um,

goes, he types out this list for his off-season goals for, I guess, football and life. And then he puts them on his door. And then when you walk by his door to his bedroom, this is just taped to his door for some reason. So anybody that's upstairs in our house can just see this list. And I'm going to read the list right now,

even though it'll probably make him mad. Number one, become wide receiver 2-3. I guess number two or number three receiver. Work ass off this offseason. That's number one. Number two, get up to 175 while keeping the same speed and adding muscle. Parentheses, clean

bulk. Number three, become a more complete player, being better in the open field, better hands, getting faster, making athletic plays. I like these goals, by the way. Number three, become a more complete player, being better in the open field, better hands, getting faster, making athletic plays. I like these goals, by the way. Number four, have a 3.4 GPA at the end of the year. Attainable. He's at a really hard school.

Number five, limit phone time to two hours a day. I can guarantee this is already, we've already not achieved this one. Number six, bench 180, squat 250, deadlift 360. I don't even know what that means. Number seven, go to bed at nine o'clock every day. He's already violated that completely. Number eight, grow to six one. I don't know. Grow to six one. What does that mean? What is he just in bed willing his tibias to get longer? I don't get that one. There's a thing where you can break your ankles and add like three quarters of an inch, right?

Now? Yeah. All right. Well, I'll send them the article. Number nine, get up at 630 every day and take a cold shower. Since he made this list, he hasn't been up at 630 once. And then number 10, forget about females beside your girlfriend. He doesn't have a

girlfriend. That's still on his door from two weeks ago. Those are Ben Simmons' top 10 tips to getting through the ninth grade. Oh, that's great. So we'll see how it goes for him. And then he also, he wants to come on the podcast to talk to you about jazz. Jazz? Yeah, that's right. He's in the advanced jazz band. He's really excited about jazz. Oh, okay.

There's parallels between jazz and football. And I'm like, you're definitely not doing that. You're not invited on. No, of course he's coming on to talk about jazz. What's the matter with you? For Parent Corner? Yeah, why not? It's not all Utah jazz. It's the matter with you? For Parent Corner? Yeah, why not? It's not all Utah jazz. It's real

jazz, right? He does want to come on and give us his top 10 of most important people of 2022 in his world. I don't know. I don't know if you want Harrison maybe makes his list and that'll be Parent Corner next week. I like that.

I like that. Like a Spotify rap, but with people. For people. Who would be on Harrison's list? Just like some guests. Guesses. Well, I think Justin Verlander at this point. I'm trying to think.

Yeah, you'll have to ask him. Make a list. I'll have Ben make a list, and that'll be next week's parent corner. The guy at Dick's Sports that pretends to like him and lets him try out every bat and then we never get anything. But yeah, okay. I think this would be good. Kyle, is Ben going to be mad that I read that list? No. So we have to do it. No. Okay. Great. Good answer, Kyle. All right. That's it for Parent Corner.

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mind this holiday season. Right now, SimpliSafe is offering listeners 40% off a new SimpliSafe security system, but you must act fast because the offer ends today. Visit simplisafe.com slash BS. There is no safe like SimpliSafe. Number eight, grow to 6'1". You're going to have to help them. You're going to have to help them with that. I'm just going to hang them. I'm going to hang him upside down at the stairwell. Grow! Grow! Dad, what the F is going on? Dad, I stayed off my phone

and I'm still 5'11". Doing all the right things. Two hours a day on the phone. You know, he rides these birds a lot which make me nervous too. Around the neighborhood. They must have the birds in Manhattan Beach, right? Yeah, they have them where you can leave them on the side of the street. I'm not positive how these are too. Oh yeah. Around the neighborhood. They must have the birds in Manhattan Beach, right?

Yeah. They have them where you can leave them on the side of the street. I'm not positive how these are legal, these birds. Right. Yeah. I don't know either. These people are just flying around and darted between cars and it's just like, what? So when you get your driver's license for a car, you have to do all these tests and you have to drive with an instructor and then it's like, nope, these birds,

no helmets, just go around, knock yourself out. They go 20 miles an hour. I just don't understand it. Yeah, it's not on his list though. Not on his list. Before we go, how's the World Cup gambling doing? I'm doing alright. I had enough 0-0 first halves

to keep me afloat. Yeah, you own the 0-0 corner. I'm thinking afloat. You own the 0-0 corner. I'm thinking of doing something really dumb with this France-Morocco thing. I mean, I get that defense wins championships, but for God's sakes, are they really going to slog their way through this? I mean, France,

I'm not saying this is the number, but $9,000 gets you $2,000 of France advances. No way I'm saying. I mean, of course, I'm not saying that's the number I'm entertaining, but I'm definitely doing it. I've really enjoyed Croatia and it various times thought about betting them to win the tournament,

but it seemed too improbable. But I thought it was so funny when they're in the last game, when they just have these giants, it's almost like basketball. You feel like they could just post up, just do like long kicks in the box. They have all these like tall dudes. I was enjoying like they're just weird.

They're funky. I also like Modric a lot, the 37-year-old midfielder who feels like he's been around the entire time I've been watching soccer. He reminds me of Nash in like the late 2000s. Like that kind of end of the road Nash when the late 2000s. That kind of end-of-the-road Nash when he was still good.

I didn't want those two teams to play. I'm bummed. I wish one of them was in the other game. I don't really care about France-Morocco. Croatia and Argentina, but those were my two favorite teams. Oh, I see. Well, Ronaldo was sent crying, so that's fun. I have an observation. Again,

I don't know shit, but it feels like like these, um, these European teams with the big goalies, even like Poland or Croatia, if they're like the inferior team and they're taking a lot of shot, they're getting a lot of shots against. Um, I feel like that goalie is hot for the penalty kick,

right? Right. Doesn't it give that team the advantage because he kind of, he has some, he's like warmed up. You're some saves and he's feeling good. He's probably better anyway. I don't know. So that's something. Would you rather have penalty kicks or would you rather have every

like four minutes another player comes off the field? Ooh, that could be fun. So like hockey does the four and four, the three and three. Yeah, that could be good. I like it to end when it ends though. I don't mind penalty kicks. Maybe move it back a little bit.

Not everyone has to go in. It's just so tough to lose a thing that happens every four years with this weird thing. I'll never get used to it. I know that's how it is

and even like at every level in soccer that's how it is. I get it. every level in soccer, that's how it is. I get it. Well, I don't know. It's not fair and it's not right. And it's still like the most exciting part of it. Right?

Zoe had a game. Yeah, Zoe had a game once when they went through the whole lineup and started back over at the top. Which because I guess you designate like nine or 10 players. It was like two years ago. And it was still tied it was like nine nine we're in the 19th kicker and it started

it went back to the first person again it was like this is insane does everyone make it? does everyone make it at that level? well it can get to well it's actually easier

to make it when it's when the kids are a little younger because the goalies can't cover as much so it's basically more in the shooter. If it's a 14-year-old girl

and she puts it in the left corner, if she kicks it correctly, it'll never get stopped. But when you get to this level, when it's these 6'3 dudes who can dive, whatever. You have a special plug for us. I do. Extra points.

My entire network. Extra points live in Las Vegas. January 8th and 9th. Do it. Come there. Jimmy Kimmel Comedy Club at the Link Promenade in Vegas. We have two free watch parties all day Sunday. That's week 18.

And then for the national championship on the 9th Monday. Come say hello. Megan Gailey of Megan Fun of Sports. She's very funny. She'll be performing stand-up on the 8th. Monday. Come say hello. Megan Gailey of Megan Fun of Sports. She's very funny. She'll be performing stand-up on the 8th. Tickets go on sale Friday. You should go. Joe House is in.

I know you're... Oh, Joe House won't go. Joe House won't go. What are you talking about? He's in. He won't go. Joe House is like getting his hip fixed. Joe House is...

Really? We're like old. Joe House is getting like a new hip. He could get it done in Vegas. There's a Topgolf. He'll love it. Maybe he'll get like the new hip. He could get it done in Vegas. There's a Topgolf. He'll love it. Maybe he'll get like the cheap version of a hip.

Yeah. All right. That sounds fun. Cuz, next week, week 15, we'll see with the Panthers. If they're the lead of the podcast next week. We'll see. They might be the lead in the podcast. I'm sorry. I should say the Jimmy Kimmel Bowl.

Our cousin has a bowl game this Saturday. Washington State against Fresno State. Saturday, 1230. Get it. And listen, it's a cheap ticket. It's 35 bucks. If you want to see SoFi, this is the cheapest you're going to get in for. I'm not saying the event is bad, but go out there.

Check the stadium. They're not bad seats. You'll see a decent game. Washington State, Fresno State, Jimmy Kimmel Bowl, Saturday. All right. Good job of you, cuz. Good job of you, buddy. That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Kyle Creighton

for producing, as always. Thanks to Sal. New Rewatchables coming Monday night, and don't forget that we have a Prestige TV podcast coming on Monday, probably a little past lunchtime. Me and Joanna Robinson and I, Ruben, breaking down all of our thoughts and theories on the episode.

And you can also listen to The Watch with Andy Greenwald and Chris Ryan as well. You can get a lot of White Lotus content tomorrow. There you go. I'll see you in this feed on Tuesday. I don't have