The Bill Simmons Podcast - Mahomes Survives, Philly Cruises, a Bad Ref Weekend, Plus the Super Bowl Line With Cousin Sal
Episode Date: January 30, 2023The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs outlasting the Bengals (1:12), and the Eagles rolling over the 49ers (21:30), before guessing the line for S...uper Bowl LVII (37:23), followed by Parent Corner (47:39). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Cousin Sal is here.
We just watched the Chiefs outlast the Bengals
before we talk about how bad the refs were
and how weird of a day it was.
It was really one of the weirder conference championship days.
Shout out to Mahomes, man.
He played on one leg, gutting through it,
ran out of receivers.
Just impressive.
Added to the legacy.
He's made five years of starting,
five conference championships,
three Super Bowls.
Put together a nice little resume,
but this was a good one for him.
Absolutely.
No question about it.
Until we find out that whatever drug
they shot into him this week is
has been illegal for like uh 309 years or something i mean i don't know you and i both
talked like you you had you know people with high ankle sprains i know people i know we know people
with kids with high ankle sprains and it always results in a walking boot and crutches on wednesday
and either this wasn't a high ankle sprain or my God, like even athletes with high ankle
sprains don't play, right?
Like how did he fit this five week injury in four days?
You think it was a competitive move by the chiefs.
They intentionally misdiagnosed it.
So dumb asses like us could be like, Oh, on Monday, Oh, Bengals, let's put them in a tease.
Yeah.
Although Bengals tease one, I guess.
It was weird because I really do think he was that hurt. There were these little
moments that they would show during the game.
He would throw and he would, as he was
throwing, make sure he put no weight on the right
leg. Every time he ran, it really seemed
like he was gotten through it. It was an awesome
performance. Yet,
I still feel like the Bengals should have won the game.
It was sitting there for them.
They had two drives in the last, what, eight minutes?
Both times they were in control of their destiny.
First one, second down pass hits Chase in the helmet.
Seemed like he was open.
Seemed like it almost could have been an interference.
And then the third down play gets tipped, intercepted.
They end up getting the ball back anyway.
And then they just can't put the drive
together and they end up having to punt again. Yeah. That second interception ended up being
like a good punt. It was like a 56 yard punt. Right. And then they, you're right. They got it
back. There was that craziness with the play that everybody, the booth thought, I mean, they're
blaming the noise and everything, Romo and Nance and the ref runs in, but that, that ended up not
mattering. And there was like a lot of plays that were called against the Chiefs that didn't matter,
and some did, but the truth is the Bengals
had the ball with like 230 left with a chance to score. That's where
I put it. I know you want to go off on the refs, and they were bad. That crew was
clueless for three and a half hours. I thought the third down redo mattered
a little bit because
the Bengals had just a shitload of
momentum at that point.
And they end up redoing it.
Then there's a pass interference in the second
third down. They end up moving up, I think,
I don't know, maybe 10
yards, move back. I forget where they ended up.
It was so weird. It just felt like
it made the game weird. By the time they got the
ball, they were inside their own 20.
I thought their special teams let them down.
You know,
if you look back,
if you really did this,
the pruder film of the last 10 minutes where they have the ball twice,
they don't get anything.
Um,
the punt there,
what was it?
39 seconds left.
How many times do we have to see the team just punt the line drive straight
down the middle that the returner gets the 20 yard return on just directional punt that shit out of bounds why are we letting
why are we letting anyone get involved in this all of a sudden they had bought the 45
um but then the the boneheaded play at the end by osai who was awesome and it's a shame that he's
going to be remembered now as a playoff goat but that's his destiny no it's not a shame that was a
dumb ass play and as. Someone lost a lot
of money on the Bengals. That was ridiculous.
They're going to call that every time. He did
the great move, though. He grabbed his own leg. I think
they call that the Costanza
when you pretend to be angry and upset
yourself. Then it's like,
I don't know. Should we help this guy out?
I don't even know if the Bengals sent their
trainer over to help him out, but assist
him. You know what it is?
It's a little kid move.
Like when your little kid does something wrong,
and then they pretend they're injured to get it.
Like they burn their hand on the stove when they're making brownies
that they shouldn't have been.
Right.
Bobby's crying.
I got to cry too.
Otherwise, I'm going to get in trouble.
Yeah, same thing.
Well, let me ask you this.
Do you have a problem with them calling that late hit but not
the late hit on burrow that was just as obvious about five minutes earlier when frank he threw
the ball and then frank kark knocked him back when they were like inside their 20 like my whole thing
with these refs and they were awful and i think they were incompetent awful i don't think they
were fishy awful although there was just a ton of money in the Bengals. There were a lot of reasons that
a lot of people profited from the Chiefs going.
The refs were just incompetent,
but if you're going to be incompetent, at least
establish some sort of consistency
with the incompetence. They didn't even have that.
Yeah, and I'm with you.
It seemed lopsided. We were trying to think of a Bengals
call, and yes, you're right with that sack.
That should have been a late hit.
They call that all year, right?
It was a headlock for 20 weeks.
Yeah, it was a headlock.
Took him down.
All that.
Burrow was losing his mind.
I almost think they should hire ref crews.
That should be situational ref crews.
Like these guys are obviously hearing impaired.
So the fans being loud was a problem, right?
Because even like they had a huddle for like 15 seconds
before they made every call.
So everything became, you know, you were saying,
you texted me and Kyle, you're like, oh, this game's flying.
I was like, yeah.
And then the refs took over and it just took forever.
But yeah, when you're assigning a crew,
make sure it's a crew that's done outdoor football before
because the fans really rattled them, I think.
No question.
I have never seen a redo of a third down play
like the one we saw today.
You and I watch football every single weekend.
I've never seen that before.
Because if I was even watching it,
the play just happens.
The refs, nothing.
They go, the punt team runs out.
And then all of a sudden, a minute later,
they're like, no, actually,
that guy that was 40 yards over in the far right
way, way back,
he wasn't involved in the play at all. He had
decided the play stopped.
And it really felt like it was going to matter, but it didn't.
But they were just disheveled
and incompetent. And the annoying thing is
we have two games.
It's only two games this whole week. These are
your best two crews?
This is what we came up with?
I think you and I, and especially me,
I think, get angry as things wind down.
I was never going to like that Sopranos ending,
basically because it meant the end of the Sopranos.
So I had to put my anger somewhere.
I have to put my anger with the referees or something.
Same kind of thing here.
So yeah, try to get the calls right.
But ultimately, I don't know. I just, you know, I listened to the podcast on my network and other
podcasts. I feel like it's 60% complaining about the refs. Isn't it bad in every single sport?
Like, isn't everything like very, very close? Like we'll talk about that first game with
Devonta Smith and that catch and you to your credit were the only one who saw that that hit
the ground. But the first two replays
saw that it didn't.
And everyone's like,
what are the refs doing?
What are they like?
Well, we saw it in slow motion
and didn't think it hit the ground.
So I don't expect,
I know they're getting paid,
but after replay,
when we're not sure,
like, I don't know,
it just seems like there's
a lot of wasted energy
on the refs when
the Niners weren't winning
that game anyway.
And the Bengals,
like I said,
had the ball with two and a half minutes
left. Stupid team.
Theo's side play.
So if, first of all,
it felt like he was kind of losing his balance
and touched Mahomes. There was
one angle where it looks like Mahomes went
full-scale Lionel Messi flop on
it. Right. Because he got
touched. He did one of those.
Yeah. But if they
hadn't called it, there were still eight seconds
left and they probably wouldn't be
able to get an out of bounds play for at least
like another eight. I still feel like Bucker
has probably like a 52 yarder.
I as weird as this sounds,
I think the right team won.
Yeah. And I thought the Chiefs
had multiple examples during
the game where they just could have put the game away.
First of all, they're up 13-3 in the first half.
They have the ball.
Burrow throws that pick, right?
I think there's like 230 left.
They have the ball on the Cincy side of the field.
Three straight passes.
Incomplete, incomplete, incomplete.
They give Cincy the ball back with 203.
And then Cincy comes all the way down. They get a field goal.
You're up 10.
There's no way
Cincy should get the ball back. You have the ball
to start the second half, KC.
And it's just like, you just hand
the ball off twice, get it to the two-minute,
get it under, try to get one first down. But
the one thing you can't do is give them the ball back.
They did that. They also had the really
weird punt on fourth and eight.
What was that with like a five,
six minutes left where.
Well,
they declined the penalty,
right?
It was going to be third.
They're on the Cincy 41.
They decided to punt it.
And I think they ended up punting it to like the eight or whatever.
Yeah.
Well,
that's where you talk about the special teams snafus for the Bengals,
the chiefs for kicking it,
that directional kick out of bounds inside the tent,
the eight at the 4.
They did that all game.
So, yeah, they had that right.
Yeah, the thing before the half
where I think it's like,
was it Higgins who made the catch
with 27 seconds left?
And they had used two timeouts.
Yeah, you called it.
Like, they used two timeouts
like on a third and one, basically.
Right?
Like on a third and one
and then the first down.
P. Ryan should have gotten
the first down. Somehow got tack should have gotten a first down.
Somehow got tackled without getting the first down.
Right.
And instead of just hustling up to the line with your 6'5 quarterback and sneaking in,
getting over, and then call the timeout.
They call timeout.
They run a run play.
It should have been a pass play.
It was a run play instead.
They get it.
Then they call another.
So now they've used two timeouts to get three yards and burn six seconds.
Yeah.
And then he's tackled, like I said, with 27 seconds
left, and then there's eight seconds left
after the fade route.
That was bad clock
management.
But then they went three and out.
Then it really got good. I was like, this is a sloppy game.
But then that Higgins catch was amazing.
That Veldes-Scantling catch where
Mahomes wasn't even looking, and he threaded the needle
for the touchdown.
It was a great fourth quarter.
I thought the referees hadn't slowed it down like they did.
So the outside play.
You're the one who won't leave him alone.
You're like, I feel bad for this guy.
Well, I think it's going to be remembered.
Because we don't have playoff goats.
It's not like basketball.
In basketball, we always have these plays
where we can be like,
oh, that hadn't happened,
or this play or that play.
In football, for the most part,
when it gets to a game this close,
guys just start making plays.
There's not like a goat kind of play.
But we were thinking like,
what did we say, Gary Anderson?
That was one.
Yeah, Gary Anderson.
Scott Norwood, obviously.
There was the D4 jumping off sides
against the Pats.
Yeah, if you want to count penalties, bad penalties,
that was the worst one in recent memory, I guess, the D4.
So let's do a thought experiment here.
He doesn't do that.
Bucker misses a 58-yarder.
We go to overtime.
We have the new overtime rules in place.
From what you saw in the second half, who wins that game?
Man, I think it's still a coin flip at that point.
I really do.
I wasn't confident that either offense...
It's unlike most overtimes, right?
Where the defenses are gassed and you just feel like whoever gets the ball is going to score.
Or in the Chiefs' case, they just go down the field.
I really think it's
just a coin flip that they screwed up
there. I was starting to think the
longer the game went along, the better it was for
Cincy because Casey's pass
rush was so good. But pass,
or as Collins would say,
the pass rush
is, they usually don't last
for four hours. You might get two and a half.
But then in that last drive,
they did it again.
Ultimately, the Bengals lose that game
because of what
happened to their O-line. They couldn't protect
Burrow long enough. And then once
Boyd goes out,
then they're just... Romo did a good
job of pointing out they're just doubling the two receivers
and letting Hayden Hurst and
number 16 beat them. Um, Irvin. Yeah. I thought it was going to be a Joe mixing game
and it just wasn't that he never really totally got going. I thought they were going to be able
to run the ball up the middle, but it goes back that Bengals O-line just maybe you thought the
bills game might've been a little deceiving because of how bad the field was and the bills
weren't that good to begin with. Somehow the lack of footing helped the offensive line and helped
Burrow get quick passes off. They talked about how he was like second fastest in the league
release at like 2.5 seconds. But for that first quarter and early second quarter, it looked like
he had about 1.8 seconds to throw. They were right in his face. And it's funny because the whole
analysis probably, right, all week was, can the Holmes get in there?
We completely disregarded the fact that the offensive line,
well, he's still missing his three guys, right?
Maybe this is going to be the week.
Somehow the Chiefs have the second most pressures in the league,
which you wouldn't think after my dreadful Cowboys.
But, yeah, that ended up being a big difference.
But then, I don't know, last year we saw Burrell get dumped nine times
against the Titans and it didn't matter they won
so and he almost won tonight
I thought it was a really
hard game I thought the line was hard
just to pick I didn't like the line
I didn't like not knowing
what we were getting from Mahomes
I didn't like not knowing alright did the Bengals
kind of figure out a makeshift offensive line
here or was that Bill's game I just thought I didn't I not knowing, all right, did the Bengals kind of figure out a makeshift offensive line here? Or was that Bill's game?
I just thought I didn't,
I ended up not betting it straight up.
I had done a,
doing the Eagles line with adjusted Bengals plus seven and a half.
And then I did another one Eagles money line with adjusted chiefs.
I did Bengals 10 and a half and chiefs seven and a half.
I just think it's going to be close.
But the reason I did it was because the first game
was a blowout. When do we ever have two blowouts
in the same day? It's like, add that to the
gambling manifesto. We never have two
shitty games. One of them is always good.
Right. And I don't know. I mean, you
and I had the Niners and Bengals to
make the Super Bowl, right? I think you had it at 20-1
a few weeks ago. I had it at 13-1.
Then, yes, you're right.
As the noon kickoff approached,
I was like,
when do you have two road teams winning,
let alone two blowouts
or two close games at this point?
Yeah.
Also, everyone was on the Bengals.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
And I might add this to the manifesto, actually,
because you saw it right after the game
when Kelsey was like,
how's Burrowhead
I do think Cincy might have
talked a little too much shit
it's like some sort of cousin
of nobody believes in us it's like
I can't believe you're disrespecting us
or I gotta come up with some there was
a disrespect level
that I think annoyed the Chiefs and it
definitely fed off it yeah the Rodney
factor for sure I don't know Rodney Dangerfield but I don't know that's a good one the Rodney Dangerfield rule I think, annoyed the Chiefs, and it definitely fed off it. Yeah, the Rodney factor, for sure. I don't know the Rodney Dangerfield, but I don't know.
Oh, that's a good one, the Rodney Dangerfield rule.
I like that for the manifesto.
That's good.
But was it the Bengals' fault?
It might have just been idiots like us.
The Chiefs, this is their fifth straight conference championship game.
It's basically a pick-em, and everybody I know is going against them.
And we haven't seen
mahomes yet and i know you laughed at romo saying uh comparing it to when drexler was coming up on
jordan in 92 and like this might have just it's absurd because you because you didn't come up with
it that's now i've never said that you would have you would have said that quite drexler the whole
point was that he had never made the finals
and all of a sudden
people are comparing
like his stats to Jordan.
Everyone knew Jordan
was the best player
in the world at that point.
Oh, you think it's...
Yeah, you think that's why
it's absurd
because Burrow actually is...
Burrow's way better
than Drexler was.
Drexler was like
a top five player.
Burrow was like,
in my opinion,
as good as Mahomes.
I think Mahomes
is a little bit greater, but he's in the conversation. Itrow is like, in my opinion, as good as Mahomes. I think Mahomes is a little bit greater,
but he's in the conversation.
It's not like a fluke that they're being
compared. Right, I know, but just
Mahomes had it, though, this year, and then
just was more and more
Burrow support. I think that
finals was like minus 180 or something.
I'll have to look. Jordan against Drexler.
Well, this was not
a Jordan-Drexler outcome.
No.
And Burrow, what he was able to do with no O-line
and just, he took a,
how many hits do you think he took in that game?
At least 20.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
And he wasn't great, but he wasn't bad either.
And he kept on hanging around, hanging around, hanging around.
And by the start of the fourth quarter,
I thought they were going to win.
It didn't seem like, you know,
the Chiefs lost a couple of receivers. I started to think about what we were
going to lead the podcast with. And it was like, man, that Tyree Kiltrade might have inadvertently
killed the Chiefs. You look at these dudes and it's like, oh, there's Sky Moore, who's barely
played. Now he's out there. Some tight end. Who's that guy, Kent? He made a third down catch.
Yeah, they have three tight ends. I think he had 10 receivers, Mahomes.
He really did.
We analyzed it the wrong way.
That's the amazing thing about Tyreek Hill.
Mahomes still had the most 20-plus yard completions this year,
more than anybody.
You could say the Tyreek Hill factor,
but he made it work with the Valdez-Scantling.
No guys that you would jump out at you as monster years,
but he still needed that deep threat,
which made me think even more so that he wasn't going to work to him.
He's not going to be able to plant and throw 30 yards downfield.
Some will eventually figure out how to triple-team Kelsey,
and he won't get 14 catches for 140 yards.
But he was there.
He made a lot of big plays still.
29 for 43
for 326.
No turnovers except for the weird
fumble he had, which Jordan never
would have had just that way. That was a terrible play.
Only three rushes,
so that was where he was compromised. I think normally
in a game like this, he's
got the 7-8 scampers
that he would have had. He just didn't
this game.
The one scamper, the last one was a huge...
It was essentially a 26-yard run, right?
You got like 7 or 8 yards plus the 15.
23 yards.
Kelsey was 7 for 78.
They just took him out in the second half.
Scantling was 6 for 116.
And I guess that was the guy they needed.
But for the most part,
really,
really even game.
And if you're the Bengals,
you're driving home and you're like,
man,
we had that.
Yeah.
Oh my God,
Mike,
you can't come closer to winning a game than the Bengals just did.
Can't,
can't both these guys go to the just did. Can't both these guys
go to the Super Bowl? Can't we have a
three-quarterback Super Bowl?
Just cut the offenses. Rotate
them. Rotate the three offenses.
Come on, NFL. This is so much
fun watching these two. It wasn't
a great game, but it was dramatic.
And I knew it was dramatic because Romo
said the word huge so many times that
they actually had to run to the store and buy him 100 more huges.
Is that right?
Okay, Jim!
Huge play here, Jim!
It's like a Howard Letterman.
He's like morphing into Howard Letterman, right?
Because it really did feel like a heavyweight boxing match.
I don't know.
All right, Jim!
I got it!
Five rounds to four for Mahomes!
The Bengals only had
309 total yards,
which seems fitting because
they got sacked...
God, how many times?
They only got sacked five times.
It felt like it was like 100.
Really? Wow.
Burrow got hit a million times.
Other stuff... Other stuff I have... It felt like it was like a hundred. Really? Yeah. Wow. Burrow got hit a million times. Um,
other stuff,
other stuff I have.
Um,
so do we,
we do think my homes really had a high ankle sprain.
I'm going to say he did,
but I'm like 2% unclear because it seemed kind of unhuman that he pulled that off.
I'm not a doctor,
but I don't know what else.
So what is it if it's not?
We all saw the play, right?
What if it was just an ankle sprain and not a high ankle sprain?
Just an ankle sprain?
And they didn't want to admit that they fucked up the diagnosis
because it threw people off.
And then so an ankle sprain would keep him out for like a quarter last week,
and then he comes back like he did?
I don't know, I guess.
I think you might be right.
They hoodwinked the whole league.
I talked to Peter King this week and he kind of said the same thing.
He's like, don't be surprised if this is a cat or mouse game.
But he also was like limping too.
It was definitely a real injury that bothered him, but played through it.
Let's take a break.
We'll talk about the other game.
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platinum well the other game was not as good as Chiefs-Bengals.
It was a game that made me think,
do we need a rule where three quarterbacks should have to dress for every playoff game?
Maybe they just put that in the CBA.
Yeah, just add a roster spot.
Who cares if there's a 54-man roster?
Nobody wants to see what we saw in the last three quarters, right?
I guess my question is, and I don't know how
they split up the 53 men on the roster,
but is it more worth it to have like an
eighth cornerback or to have a third string quarterback?
Just think, especially now with these concussion rules
and the way that you can just, your quarterback can just get
yanked, right? It seems like easier than ever to lose a quarterback during a game. So would you rather just have the
third QB and just tell Jimmy G like, Hey, you're going to wear shoulder pads and just be ready
just in case, or have your ninth cornerback? I think it's important to have. So, okay. We do
all these safety rules, right? To keep the quarterbacks upright. That's really why the quarterback's protected in a lot of these and people hate it. The late hits that
aren't late hits and everything like that. You have to have at least a capable quarterback in
there, right? When they're talking about who's the fullback, who's check dressing up and changing
his helmet and McCaffrey maybe taking snaps. It's like, no, you have to have a third. It's like,
you're going to lose audience.
If you have a situation like you did today where, you know, they had to leave Purdy in there because
it was a difference between stacking the box with 11 and stacking the box with nine. If you have the
fullback at quarterback, or I said that the other way around, but you know what I'm saying, but
yeah, that was a, that was garbage to watch. And by the way, I'm not going to give the Eagles a
lot of credit here.
I'm going to be salty, Sal.
I had a lot of money on the 49ers, and I really don't think the Eagles did a lot to win that game.
And I thought the 49ers were just as good, if not better.
So I'm not going to hear a lot of praise.
Not going to hear praise.
Salty Sal is one of my favorite human beings.
Great.
I decided I felt really good about the Eagles
and I felt really good about Brock Purdy
not coming through in this moment.
And now we'll never know because he just got hurt.
So I don't know whether he would have come through or not.
I mean, he did get nailed on that first play,
but I still wonder like that Philly pass rush
and just the D in general and the crowd and the atmosphere.
I wonder how many points they would have put up.
On the other hand,
I didn't really see a lot from Philly's offense
to make me think that against KC, they're going to put up a ton of points.
I didn't think Hurts looked that great.
I didn't think they blocked that great.
Lane Johnson apparently re-tore his groin.
They didn't run the ball at all.
And then they ended up breaking like two plays.
But for the most part, they weren't able to control the ball.
And it doesn't seem like Hurts wants to run around in the same play.
So I don't know what to think of them because we haven't seen them play a good team yet.
You're going to be fair about it.
And I'm going to tell you, I think they had 31 points.
They could have ended up with like 16 or 17.
They had right before the half. It's interesting because I thought
the Niners defense was the best unit
out of the four teams that we
saw today, right? Except they self-destructed.
They had how many penalties? I think
the team ended
with 81 yards and penalties
in bad situations.
Instead of three, there was seven before the
half. That craziness
at the end, they got a free seven on the roughing the kicker.
They got another seven somewhere else instead of three.
So, I mean, it got to a point when it was 21-7.
I was thinking, I might have texted you.
I'm like, put Minshew in here.
They don't have to throw the ball the rest of the way.
There's no way the 49ers are going to score 21.
Well, let's go backwards.
So, they tie at 7-7 with after Purdy goes out
and it's starting to think like
man this would be
Shanahan's greatest moment
if he makes the NFC
well let's go
let's go before that
they're on the Burger King commercial
at 12-12 p.m. Pacific time
alright go
extra extra mozzarella
so it's 7-7
and Josh Johnson
it's like, this guy's
been around 15 years,
been on 15 teams, Jim.
But it's like, man, this would be
amazing if Shanahan, if your weapons are
that good that you can make the Super Bowl with Josh Johnson.
The Eagles score, it's
14-7. And now
the Niners get the ball and there's like, what,
a minute 35 left in the half.
And you think, oh, they're going to hand off
and try to kill clock because they have the ball
at the start of the third quarter.
They're not going to fuck around.
So Josh Johnson throws complete first down.
And as the announcers are having it,
Greg Olson and Burkhart, they're having the,
oh my God, Shanahan, get a little aggressive here.
Next play, Johnson fumbles the snap eagles
get it now it's 21-7 heading into halftime yep i think you can make a really strong case maybe
just take it to halftime oh yeah don't push it yeah yeah i thought they're good we're down seven
we have the ball start third quarter let's get to halftime let's regroup with josh johnson that's
not what they did i don't know why we, you know,
we go back and forth with Shanahan.
I think this time last year we were like,
Oh,
he's under 500.
I think we had like a weekly watch to see what he,
what his record was.
I become a Shanahan guy.
I'm like,
damn it.
Look what he's done with this team.
He basically said he had some bad luck and he said,
all right,
give me the last pick in the draft and I'll take him to the Superbowl or game
before it.
Right.
Yeah.
I was like, this is unbelievable.
Give Brock Purdy all the credit you want.
But this is Shanahan's offense and it's and it's really working.
And then I was thinking the same thing when I was 14, seven.
I was like, if he could use his three timeouts at half and just add an extra seven minutes,
I bet he could figure out a game plan to win this in the second half if it's 14, seven.
But then you're right.
He got aggressive with a player.
And you said it.
These third stringers, they just don't have enough reps during the week.
So how could they be in sync with the offense?
So take as much time as you can, keep it a one-score game,
and then get your quarterback familiarized with the offense.
But they didn't do that.
Yeah, the guy, what kind of reps is he getting during the week?
Right?
Now he's taking shotgun snaps in Philly.
He's trying to figure out coverages and read stuff,
and he's not having the reps to, that's what happens,
is all of a sudden the snap hits you in the hands
because you're looking over to the right side before you have the ball.
Right.
I would have taken it to halftime.
I think this Eagles thing, I mean, I had multiple Eagle fans in my life
when they were texting me like, this is unbelievable.
We got to beat that weird Giants team with Daniel Jones.
And then we had Purdy, Josh Johnson, and Christian McCaffrey
as the quarterbacks in the NFC title game.
Like, now they're going to get some homes.
Talk about the other side of the world.
He'll aggravate it on media day, right?
And then we'll see Chad Henney.
That'll be the easiest run.
This might have been the easiest run.
I know we praised Danny Dimes,
but you're right.
I think you had Mariota and Bortles one year,
didn't you?
Patriots before they got to the Super Bowl?
We had Mariota and Bortles,
but Bortles almost beat us.
We were down 10,
I think late in the third quarter
or early in the fourth quarter.
I thought that's how the dynasty was going to end,
to blick Bortles and the Jaguars.
This time around,
the Giants game was over
three minutes into the game.
It's like, this is a wrap.
You can see it right away.
And then Purdy goes out.
I don't know.
I just thought it was pretty much
over when Josh Johnson came in.
But then when he gets hurt,
wait, we got to figure out
how do we fix the back of the helmets?
It seems like
the helmets are bigger
and safer, except for the part
a quarterback getting sacked and hitting
like the whiplash play where he hits the back of his
head in the field. How many
concussions or head injuries have we seen
this year just from that play? At least
like 10. That's Tua's thing.
Tua's wasn't like helmet to helmet
thing. It was like the head hitting the ground.
Maybe we need
to bring the Steve Grogan
neck roll back for the quarterbacks.
Yeah, maybe. Maybe they figure that out.
I don't know if that one hurt the arm strength or what.
Are they playing quicksand, maybe?
Maybe they play on a softer surface.
Yeah, I'm not sure.
By the way, Purdy, four for four in this game.
I don't think he should win MVP, but not too bad.
Ended up four for four.
I just felt for that guy.
I felt for him anyway.
But if he gets in there and he starts, you know, zinging it,
then it's like, hey, what happened, dude?
Where were you?
And if he can't do anything, it's like, well, what are you doing in there?
Right?
It was no win for Brock Purdy once he came back in that game.
So what was his injury?
Did we ever find out?
Because I didn't really understand.
Yeah, they said all nerve something.
If it was a nerve thing,
then that would tell me that
he would have trouble getting the snaps,
but he could get all the snaps.
Right.
I couldn't figure that part out.
Hurts in the first half,
I wrote down in my notebook
near the end of the first half,
Hurts minus 105 over Josh Johnson.
Yeah.
They look very similar. Hurts
look kind of discombobulated and not
comfortable at all.
Then in the second
half, that kind of flipped. When did you give up?
We both had the
Niners in a tease
from early in the week. The plus
eight and a half. When did you give that one
up? I think it was fourth and
three and they ran Debo up the middle. There were no gadget plays. Stopper minus two? the plus eight and a half. When did you give that one up? I think it was fourth and three,
and they ran Debo up the middle.
Like there was no gadget stop for minus two?
Yeah, especially in a Shanahan offense.
We all thought that McCaffrey was going to throw a pass.
Maybe he didn't take the snap, but pitch it back to him,
and he throws a pass or something kind of weird.
But it was all just hand off to the men in motion and see what you get.
But the Eagles' defense was quick.
I'll give the Eagles credit.
Like, I think 18 of those 22 starters are either, like, pro bowlers
or pro bowl adjacent or something.
So, we talked about how deep the Niners were,
but the Eagles are really deep and fast and all that stuff.
And I guess they weren't going to – they didn't have to put their foot
on the gas in this game.
But, yeah, like I said, 21-, they didn't have to put their foot on the gas in this game. But yeah,
like I said, 21-7 really didn't have to throw the ball like halfway through the third quarter and forward.
Hassan Reddick was the star of the game.
I was thinking about the Eagles, how weird their season was,
where they basically clinch everything, what, by week 14, pretty much.
And Hertz goes out and then they come back and it's like we have this game
it kind of means something but not really
then they get the bye week
then they play the Giants that game's over
in half a quarter then they get this
game and it's Brock Purdy and Josh Johnson
the game's over by halftime now
they have another week off
this team hasn't played a meaningful
four quarter game
since when the beginning of December it'll be like two months since they've been a meaningful four quarter game since when the
beginning of December,
it'll be like two months since they've been a competitive three hour game.
Yeah,
you're right.
I don't even know what to think about it.
And because of that,
I'm just going to keep thinking they stink.
I,
yeah,
you don't,
you don't hate any of these four teams.
I did.
You don't hate the chiefs.
That would be the closest you are to hating a team.
Right.
But you,
you,
you had their number for a while.
I hate these Eagles.
I can't see them advance. I'm going to get my ass kicked in Glendale when I'm there next week
or whenever because I'm not going to be able to shut up about how I hate them.
Did you hate seeing Bradley Cooper wearing his fresh Eagles jacket in the luxury box with his
newly dyed Dr. Pepper hair going nuts for the Eagles? I was enjoying that.
That was good. That was, you know,
it just reminded me of Silver Linings playbook
and how bad,
we always talked about how we needed to be
consultants on that
because he and De Niro,
those conversations,
it was like,
you can't leave, son.
We got to watch this game together.
If we win this game,
we're in the division.
It's like, no,
you're already in the division.
What?
Nobody's freaking out about this the sound guys rolling
his eyes holding the boom mic
to minus 18
come on
we would have done it for free
that's pretty bad yeah so what do you make if you're the
Niners
you came damn close last year
you don't even know
this year's like the great unknown
and now next year what do you do like is you don't even know. Who's your quarterback? This year's like the great unknown.
And now next year,
what do you do?
Like, is Purdy the guy?
Purdy didn't play a meaningful road game for you.
And he got hurt.
You have Trey Lancey.
You traded three first rounders
for him, basically.
Garoppolo's gone.
They'll get rid of him
or he'll leave.
And Tom Brady's sitting there
without a team.
Right.
Purdy's got to be minus 270 to take the first snap in week one.
What would the Brady odds be?
Am I right?
Yeah.
What would the Brady odds be?
So Brady, I think you got to go team by team, right?
I think he plays.
So if he plays, Tampa still has to be favored.
Then the Raiders and the Niners?
He's not going back to Tampa.
Definitely not?
I don't think so
I don't know
Miami
Miami just said this week
they said
they're in on Tua
Rogers is going to go
to the Jets
so what does that leave
I mean it leaves a lot of teams
if they want
Carolina
does he end up like
playing for Frank Reich
in Carolina
nah
although it's not bad
staying in that division.
I thought he was going to be attached with Peyton,
but I don't know.
There's some...
Frank Reich...
Is Frank Reich the best coach in that division?
No, he might be.
Yeah, at least with Frank Reich,
you could say he was a good coach
who just had bad choice in quarterbacks.
He's like your buddy that just kept
dating the wrong woman,
but he's a good guy.
He's like, I love this guy. He's like your buddy that just kept dating the wrong woman, but he's a good guy. He's like, I love this
guy. He can't pick him.
That's Frank
Reich. They should just tell Frank
that we are picking the quarterback. You don't get
input in this. Yeah, you sit back. Enjoy the offseason.
Sit back. You run the team
and tell us what's going on.
The other lesson from this
Eagles game
is that the one seed still matters.
Yeah, it did this year.
Yep.
Especially with the, where there's only the one seeds get the bye week.
Right.
So you don't even get to play that first week.
You have two games and then, you know, I think this Eagles team will be the team we point
to when we say like, this is how you want to do it.
Clinch, clinch by early December, get everyone healthy.
You,
you know,
you get these two games
and you're both home,
cold weather,
and then you go to the Super Bowl
in two weeks.
Yeah,
you're right.
It didn't matter last year,
right?
Both the one seeds were
eliminated fairly early.
Didn't matter last year.
Even if the first year,
yeah,
but,
yeah,
I mean,
I picked,
I picked the Chiefs
to win the Super Bowl
before the season.
But then by the time we got to recently,
I thought it was going to be Cincy and either Philly, I guess,
was my pick on Thursday.
So then do I lose credit for saying before the season
I thought the Chiefs were going to win the Super Bowl?
I don't have to vacate that?
Yeah, of course.
Do I get to brag about that?
No, no.
You only brag if you stick with it.
How many teams can you take?
All right, that's fair.
You can take six teams.
I remember before the year, though,
when I said the Chiefs
were going to win the Super Bowl.
Don't remember.
I heard you say the Bengals
were going to win a couple weeks ago.
I had Chiefs-Packers.
It's halfway there.
That's my preseason one.
I would say I would give today like a C plus,
maybe even a C for the two games together.
Well, you got to make that first one's a D minus, isn't it?
I mean, starting with an F.
What was fun about the first game?
Starting with Anita Baker,
singing her own national version of the anthem.
Yeah, I don't.
That was so bad that first game. And then the first quarter of the anthem. Yeah, I don't... That was so bad, that first game.
And then the first quarter of the second game,
if it was going to be Chiefs in a blowout,
it was like, well, this is one of the worst
championship weekends we've ever seen.
But it did come back and was a good fourth quarter.
But I'd like to see those two play.
You know, if that's the AFC championship every week,
every year, I know you'll have a problem with it
as a Patriots fan,
but it's pretty great. We won't be in there anyway.
It's not like we're doing anything.
We finally got an offensive coordinator.
That's right.
You're in good shape there.
You want to do Guest Alliance?
Yeah, there's only one.
What happened?
You're going to beat me, I think.
Can we talk about...
This is always the saddest day of the year for you.
Yeah.
The night of the conference championships
when, first of all, no football next week.
And then only one game left
and then you go into a dark, dark void.
Right.
This is when you start betting on
the three-point shootout
and the slam dunk contest.
I'm already betting that's a cop.
Spring training baseball.
Yeah.
Premier League.
All of a sudden, you start pretending you have an opinion on Everton
and these random teams in the Premier League.
I'm worried about you.
It was like a good boxing match for the first time in six months yesterday
that I bet.
Yeah.
We got the undercard in the UFC.
Yeah.
I'm in trouble because I'm not prepared for this offseason.
I'm really not.
Bet my son's rugby team.
I am predicting for a Super Bowl line, Glendale, Arizona.
I'm going to say Philly by two and a half.
You get it.
I said Chiefs by one. It's Philly by one and a half. You get it. I said Chiefs by one. It's Philly by one and a half. Wow. Yeah. So how
many under three Superbowl lines have we had? Not many, right? It's a good question to open.
There haven't been too many now. The good thing about podcasts was I asked that question.
Then we paused the podcast and we looked it up,
and now I have the information.
This is live radio.
It would have been terrible.
45 minutes later, we're staring right at them.
So in the last few years, the only ones under three,
KC San Francisco.
KC was favored by one and a half.
Pat's Rams was two and a half.
New England, Seattle was Seattle by one and a half. Pat's Rams was two and a half. Yep.
New England-Seattle
was Seattle by one.
Seattle-Denver
was Denver by two.
And they ended up
getting annihilated.
Giants-New England,
the second one,
was Pat's by two and a half.
I thought,
I always remember
that being higher.
That was only two and a half.
And then you have to go back to 1982, San Francisco, Cincinnati.
San Francisco favored by one.
1973, Miami, Washington.
Miami favored by one.
In 1971, Baltimore, Dallas.
Baltimore favored by two and a half.
And they won by three.
So this is, yeah, you think that was the first minus two and a half murder?
Yeah, probably.
So this does not happen that often.
Where do we think the line ends up at?
Well, it's weird because it ended up, the Chiefs are involved in two with short lines.
Like Bucs Chiefs, the Chiefs were given three.
And the Chiefs were giving one.
One and a half in San Francisco.
I think this trends towards even, I think.
Don't you? I think this goes
down. I think there's going to be Chiefs money coming in.
I think the Eagles have a better team.
Doesn't mean they're going to win, but I think
they should be favored.
It's just the question will be, as we get closer
to the game, it'll be the whole, who do they
play?
Yeah, not even who they play, but
I think in order
to not have death threats from
Eagles fans, they'd even agree
that they haven't had a meaningful
four quarters, like you said,
in two months. And then it's going to be two
months and two weeks by the time they play this game.
That's the only thing that bugs
me, plus the experience with Mahomes and
everything else and how it doesn't even
have to have the better team. I don't think they had the better team tonight either,
and they won.
Well, the biggest thing at stake,
legacy-wise, for the Super Bowl
is if Mahomes gets through that game
with the high ankle sprain,
two weeks from now,
beats this crazy Eagles pass rush
and is able to do it,
really with Kelsey and a bunch of scotch tape.
Pacheco's probably his second-best skill guy now, I think. Yeah. Pacheco's probably his second best skill guy now, I think.
Yeah.
Pacheco was great today.
He's solid.
He energizes that team, huh?
He had some awesome plays.
And he scored and they called it back too.
Forget about that.
So you'd have Mahomes.
I would say the second big story would be just Jalen Hurts.
That whole journey is pretty cool.
Right. Well, the Kelsey versus Kelsey is another big one. That whole journey is pretty cool. Right? Well, the Kelsey
versus Kelsey is another
That'll be the most annoying. That's going to win though.
What's the most annoying storyline? It's Kelsey
versus Kelsey. Yeah. And those
guys are going to lean into that hard.
They might just stay awake 24
hours a day. It'll be like the Truman Show.
They should cut wrestling
promos basically, right? Like old school.
Like what? Get Vince McMahon. Like, get Vince McMahon.
Oh, like pretend that one of them turned on the other or something?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Just get the promos going in the ring instead of media day.
Do that.
Then we'll have a whole AJ Brown, it's time for me to show I'm the best receiver in the league.
I'm trying to think like all the days how they'll go out.
Well, you got Andy Reid used to be the Eagles coach
right that's the big one and
Sirianni's doing it in two years or whatever it is
by
like Thursday of week one it'll be
like why doesn't Andy Reid get more
consideration for being the best coach of all time
right that'll
have a whole day
trying to think what else oh and then
the Philly like what a weekend for them, by the way.
Maybe that'll go like this Philly sports renaissance.
This Philly replacing Boston.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Because Embiid, I don't know if you saw yesterday,
but Embiid-
47?
Embiid grabbed the MVP race by the balls.
And as you know, I'm a Jokic guy,
but I'm also,
when somebody's great,
if somebody's great,
Embiid absolutely destroyed the Nuggets
to the point that
I think he's in the leader.
He's the leader now for me for MVP.
When you do that in a head-to-head matchup like that,
he was just incredible.
Yeah, he was so good.
And they've won 20 of their last 24.
And they're the two seed now.
And he is now,
to me, it's like he's 1A and you're 1B.
Plus 260 right now.
By the way, I talked about this with Verno and House last Tuesday.
He's plus 800.
Really?
Wow.
The odds are like dipping hard, but I think he should be the favorite.
Well, I can't do anything.
I love that.
You know, you didn't mention, not that I want to talk about basketball for 20 minutes,
but I think strategically leaning on the referees in this Chiefs-Bengals game so that you could avoid the terrible, terrible non-call against LeBron by your team.
It was awful.
All right.
We played like crap.
The Lakers should have won.
Jalen Brown inexplicably drives to the basket with four seconds left, down three.
Lakers should just have been delighted and let him score.
Dumbass Beverly comes over
and hits him in the head
with a three-point play.
Oh, maybe not the camera.
And then LeBron actually, for once,
drove to the rim,
which he should do every time
because he's LeBron.
He's going to get the call.
And does he get the call?
Right.
We fouled him.
Yeah.
And then can we at least have
two seconds of fun
with how crazy his reaction was?
Has anyone ever done more protesting a non-call and not gotten a technical or throw it out of a game?
That was like 20 seconds.
If you had to blur your eyes and I show that to you and I scrap the logo and the bug and everything,
you would have thought, what, at least game six of the finals that was, right?
The way he reacted.
This reaction is not commensurate of a January 28th
game.
And then at the end, he keeps doing
this thing where he sits on the bench
like he just lost his dog.
He's like, you'll be fine. You have four titles.
You're one of the three greatest players of all time.
You're about to break the scoring record. You're okay.
Yeah.
The Patrick Beverly game was spectacular with the
camera and
Darwin Ham just wanted to kill him
starting off a point down in overtime
because of that nonsense
my dad went to the game
and my dad always
complains about the refs
but I was talking to him today
he's like we got every call. It was great.
Every day should be like that. He loved it. My dad told me something though, that I couldn't
wait to tell you. I wasn't even going to text this to you because it was so exciting.
What happened?
He thinks Joe Mazzulla should take, because Jason Garrett's never going to coach again.
He thinks Joe Mazzulla should inherit the nickname, the clapper,
because he said,
Joe Mazzulla just stands on the sidelines and claps for two and a half hours.
It doesn't seem to coach anything.
And he's like,
you and Sal should,
I don't know if the clapper can change from one person or another,
but he's the new clapper.
My dad is like out on Joe Mazzulla.
I like that a lot.
When you said it,
I'm going to be excited.
I thought you were going to say your dad's like betting on
basketball. It's like, oh my God.
I don't know.
Sports game is going to be legal in Massachusetts.
It is.
Next time you're watching the Celtics game, I want you to
see if he's clapper worthy.
Does he have to pass the torch?
I wonder if there's a ceremony.
Is he too self-aware?
I know Lombardi gave him gave him. I know Lombardi
gave him that name, right? I think Lombardi has to
decide. I think he'd be fine with it. I'm going to ask
Lombardi. You're right. Lombardi, that was Lombardi's
nickname. Right.
But I do think like
I don't think Garrett's going to coach again.
All right, I'll text Lombardi. I'll have a
verdict next week because next week we're doing Super Bowl
props. I need to know.
Lombardi's going nuts because he thought the Sixers team was going in the tank.
But now, they look like they have a chance to get the one seed,
especially with the Saints going in the wrong direction.
The NBA is kind of in flux right now
because they got the trade deadline in less than two weeks.
And there's no great team
and everybody needs something so it's it's actually going to be a really really important
trade deadline which is unusual we need sacramento to get everybody right that's our big bet
pacific what do we have it at four to one now it's like two did we bet that though i think we did
yeah we did pretty sure yeah well we the other big bet i think we did Yeah we did Pretty sure Yeah Well we The other big bet
I think we already hit
That was
Portland's for sure done
Portland's done
Portland not to make the playoffs
And Charlotte not to make the playoffs
Yeah
Charlotte's way gone
And Portland
Portland had a couple wins this week
And then lost to Toronto right
Yeah I know
Portland's not making the playoffs
Yeah
Alright let's take a break.
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buying reimagined. All right, what do you got, Seth? All right, parent-co-owner. So a Royal Rumble.
I got two things. First of all, real quick, my son Harrison had to do a report on an American hero,
and I thought for sure he's going to pick his old man.
I mean, the kid worships me.
No, Mr. Rogers.
So Mr. Rogers.
Yes, Mr. Rogers.
And, you know, it leads to us watching the documentary and about seven episodes of Mr. Rogers neighborhood.
And God bless him.
As far as children's learning and everything, you really put it on the map and fought for kids and learning the right way.
But that shit is boring.
It really is.
It's like King Friday.
You go from Burger King to King Friday.
It's like all your senses are dulled.
And he's like, you know, he's a nice guy, but is he really this nice?
I think they're used to so many pranks and everything on YouTube.
But so I was like,
yeah,
he's your American hero.
So,
you know,
you're going to have to figure it out.
But so that,
that's just one,
Mr.
Rogers,
American hero.
Secondly,
it's nice.
It's pleasant.
It is nice.
I'm not used to nice and pleasant and something I can't make fun of really.
But I am used to the Royal rumble and we do a big thing and you know
it's at my house and we have like my you know harrison's like boy cousins over and it's me
and jack and harrison archie and we were like one other person so we pick uh and we each get like
five names uh five numbers rather uh there are 30 entries right um and all i'm hoping for is that
it doesn't come down to Jack and Harrison
because there's a lot of animosity between those two, right?
My youngest and my middle kid.
Well, of course, there's a chance it's going to come down to me,
but I draw like Booker T.
That's my last draw, and he lasts for like 36 seconds or something.
So that was that.
So, of course, Harrison has Gunther.
Is that the number one?
He was number one, right? Gunther was number one.
He used to be Walter. Now he's Gunther.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still don't know why he had to change names, but now he's Gunther.
Well, for marketing, I mean, that's
got longevity.
Gunther.
And number 30, Jack
had one of his picks
was Cody Rhodes.
Right.
So of course it comes down to those two.
I'm like, oh, damn it.
This is bad.
And it's not just like, it's not old times where Harrison would just cry and I'd keep
the camera on him and I'd make fun of him.
So I have the camera.
I'll send it to you.
I didn't want to post it because it just reflects on what a bad parent I am.
But Jack was in his face taunting him when Cody Rhodes throws Gunther out, eliminates him.
It was really, it was like Eli Apple taunting,
level taunting, like in his face.
And then Jack can swear words
and the wife is not happy with any of it.
And of course, and I'm recording laughing
and that makes me look bad too.
So I don't know what to say, but the Royal Rumble.
So the Royal Rumble is eventually going to lead to a fist fight between two of your sons.
Yeah, the Royal Rumble moves to where I live in South Bay.
That's where the rumbling goes on.
And I'm, of course, terrible.
I give them a big trophy and everything else for winning.
But if you have a better idea of how to not divide your family in the Royal Rumble, because I don't think they're talking the day after.
I'm all ears.
So my wife went to Paris for eight days with some friends
and I had to hold the fort down with the two kids
and I had to do the driving and the grocery shopping.
I basically had to be mom and dad
while also doing my job, all the stuff.
During all of this,
the lady who runs content at Spotify ends up leaving.
So all this work drama all last week.
And I'm also doing all the house.
And it's like, oh my God, we're out of almond milk.
Guess what?
Delete that.
That's my daughter
drinks Almond Milk.
That's a stupid lie.
Not deleting it.
My daughter,
that's what she drinks.
How did she go to Paris?
Were you guys like
saving up or something?
Yeah,
we were saving up.
It's like a Costco trip
or something.
Put some pennies together.
Nice.
And then she came back
and it was like,
you know what?
Wasn't that hard?
Complaining about all this shit.
It's like,
oh my God.
It's like, oh, I don't know.
I did laundry.
I drove people around.
I made sure everyone got to where they got to go.
It wasn't like overwhelming.
Did all my other stuff.
Watched football on Sunday.
And I don't know.
You're so stupid.
Our mom's overrated.
This is something you text to me afterwards.
You don't say this in public.
Paris is going to be a four time a year thing now it's a matter of now it's a no the actual story is by day eight I was I was I was like snapping and screaming at absolutely everybody
there you go okay yeah no that's that's how it really played out first five days I was like
yeah not that hard by day eight I was like, yeah, not that hard. By day eight, I was like, where the fuck is she?
Ben's like, dad,
what are we doing? I don't know, you little shit.
It's just like dying.
So tired of everybody.
They're just like, they're texting each other. I could tell my two kids,
because everybody can communicate
now without...
They could just be at the
kitchen counter, just texting boy dad's
about to lose his mind yeah so it got a little dark the last couple days but we we made it
it was fun when was the last time you were alone with all the kids i think you should uh well it's
gonna happen because uh my wife is going with my oldest son that he has rugby games in italy
so i'll have two of them and that's like an eight day thing.
So that's like,
that's like next month.
But,
um,
you know,
as the great Mr.
Rogers once said,
uh,
don't ever fucking leave us with these kids.
They're terrible.
I don't know what he said.
Listen,
I can throw six good innings,
but a complete game is really hard.
That's right.
Yeah.
I can give you a really good six.
I can do like the Dick Pavetta.
I can get to the sixth inning.
And then I really need two guys warming up in the bullpen.
It's a quality start.
That's all.
That's all you're capable of.
I have one more Paracorner announcement since we're here.
What is it?
My son is going to play lacrosse.
And we had to go to Dick's and buy a lacrosse stick.
And he's decided he wants to play a sport in the spring
and he wants to hit people.
Good.
That'll be...
Oh, I guess we're almost done with the Sunday football gig.
Well, I'll have to get some updates after.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How much is a lacrosse stick now?
I mean, they weren't cheap.
Dick's Sporting Good had this
whole lacrosse section. I didn't even
understand what's going on. I got to be honest.
I don't know anything about lacrosse.
You think there's collusion? I bet it's about $250,
right? Because I think
all the sports got together and say,
all right, the main equipment
thing, it's going to be,
no matter what sport, it's got to be $250,
right? If you're playing pickleball, we're going to make these rackets $150 each, right?
I think that's a really good point because when we went, I ended up getting him one so
he could practice in the backyard, but it wasn't like one, they didn't have like the
good ones.
So I went on the website this morning and I was like, oh, I got to get like the carbon
one.
I got the good one. And you're right. It was like over, it was like, oh, I got to get like the carbon one. I got the good one.
And you're right.
It was like over, it was like $220.
Yeah.
So yeah, it's just blanket.
That's what it costs.
They just know.
They just know.
And why are footballs so expensive?
Like the nice footballs are like $110.
Like should any football cost more than $40?
Right.
Yeah.
And baseballs too, believe it or not.
If you want to get like a bucket of baseballs to
hit at the park you're in for like 200 bucks like oh man so these things are actual even if
farron judge didn't hit one it's it pays to catch one and a foul ball if you don't i hadn't been
to dicks in a while there was a whole yeti like wall of yeti stuff i think Yeti is overtaking the world. It's like, oh, should I get the
30 ounces or the 26 ounces?
Oh, they have a 22 ounces.
What the fuck's the difference?
I got a 30-ouncer. Our cousin loves
one. He makes all the Yeti.
Jimmy makes Yeti. He'll personalize
all the Yeti. He had one for you. I think
I took it. You were supposed to go on that
lodge trip, right?
He made me a Yeti?
It's at my house. I'll give it to you.
Or I'll sell it
for $150. I don't know. Whatever it is.
Our cousin had a big,
awesome anniversary show.
Is that one of the streamers? I thought that was the best
show he's ever done. Yeah, it was so good.
It was so good.
He's so good. I'm so good. He's so good.
I'm with you.
When he interviewed himself in 2003,
I had no idea
what I was watching. Technology is just so
amazing.
That was amazing. I know you commented
that it broke your brain.
Obviously, they scripted it out,
but he didn't do anything else on the
2003 side.
I went in the script when I used to be in his dressing room, working on the monologue,
when he would go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet and do the monologue. That's,
that should be the next way they use the technology. How far can it go? It was,
the thing that was really weird was just seeing him from back then. Now
interacting. That was where I was like, I now interacting that was where I was like I can't
I don't know what I can't handle this because
that was the night I met when I moved to LA
well how far are we away from
like I don't know
I'm trying to think like who's the first old person
that died in a season like really
like screw I know they put Princess Leia
in the subsequent Star Wars
movies but I feel like you could do a
dead actor could go another season now at this point
for any series.
Well, I do wonder,
could they do something with Michael Corleone
in The Godfather?
Could they do a Godfather
between two and three,
like that era,
before he gets old
and set it in, I don't know,
the early 80s or the late 70ies and just make a whole Godfather movie
that way.
If he's sitting in a chair,
if most of the lines are like,
you know,
delivered smoking from a chair,
I think he could,
as long as there's not a ton of movement.
Well,
I know one of the things like just for,
for like podcast stuff,
I know they're working on ad tech technology where they could just take my
voice and read ads with it.
Right.
I wouldn't even read the ads.
Yeah.
Well, that should be great.
That's basically...
Oh, geez.
It makes me...
But does that mean we're going to have the clapper forever?
I mean, I guess it's good and bad.
Whatever his new name is going to be.
Good Lord.
It's very possible.
All right.
That was Parent Corner.
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Car buying reimagined.
By the way, Royal Rumble, the best spot of the whole pay-per-view was that Logan Paul ricochet jumping on opposite ends of the rope flying into each other.
I thought that was incredible.
I showed a bunch of people who don't even watch wrestling.
I think it's nonsense and the huge UFC guys.
Obviously, that's brain-breaking
and stuff. But I was like, hey, this
had to hurt, right? They're like, oh, yeah.
That's crazy. Not a lot of people would try that.
How'd they get the timing down perfectly?
It was really great. I
always end up rooting for Omos.
I just feel like every time I'm like, this is
the year. He's the new Andre the Giant.
They just haven't really figured it out yet.
And then he always blows it.
He's become the new Tony Atlas.
He's right behind Embiid for NBA MVP.
I think he's plus 650.
Didn't he play at Southern Florida or something?
He played at USF.
Did he really?
Yeah, he was like a center at USF.
Oh, Jesus.
All right.
Anything else before we go?
Yeah.
Short podcast. We only had two games. That's all right. Yeah. What are you before we go? Yeah. Short podcast.
We only had two games.
That's all right.
Yeah.
What are you going to do?
Extra points podcast network.
All your sports gambling needs are taken care of against all odds.
Tomorrow, we'll recap the games.
We'll give a pick on Monday.
And that's that.
And I guess we'll be on what?
Next week to go over these props?
Yeah.
Sunday night, you're coming on and we will do an absolute shitload of props.
I really thought I was going to go 2-0 today.
I was bummed.
When the Bengals got the ball with eight minutes left, I was like, this is it.
2-0.
Be 9-3 for the playoffs.
It just wasn't meant to be.
Pat Joseph.
Have Joseph Asai write you a check.
And then the wife takes it, goes to France.
I think that's how it has to be.
Do you think in this social media era,
it's harder to get mad at people
than it used to be?
In the old days,
you was,
ah, motherfucker.
But now it's like,
with Twitter and stuff,
then the person might see it
and you have to be like super careful
what you say.
No way.
Or do you think it's meaner?
You think it's meaner now?
Of course it's meaner.
If you think people are thinking
before they tweet,
no, it's terrible.
I was thinking about Scott Rowland this
week, and of course I don't think he should go to the
Hall of Fame, but I was like, oh, this poor
son of a bitch. All he did was play very,
very good baseball his whole life,
and now if he reads on Twitter, he'll see
95%
want him to die.
It's bad. It's a nice thing where he
showed his family family and they collapsed
in his arms in tears.
I'm like,
why does it all
have to be negative?
I mean,
it is the Hall of Fame.
I know.
I feel,
as I've said
a million times,
for me,
the Hall of Fame
is either like
you broke some sort of,
you had some sort
of achievement,
like you had 300 wins
or you had 3,000 hits,
something like that.
Or when you were in town, I wanted to go see you.
Yeah.
If it wasn't one of those two,
it's really hard for me to get there.
I remember Craig Biggio was like that too.
And Craig Biggio, pretty much everybody
was definitely a Hall of Famer.
I'm like, was he?
In basketball, they've just completely blown it.
The basketball Hall of Fame threshold is now like it's just shot to hell.
No, baseball's got to be worse.
Baseball.
No, basketball is worse.
Basketball.
How many can you vote for basketball?
Basketball, they try to get like 10 to 12 every year.
So it's just getting worse and worse.
So baseball, you can vote for 10.
And I think people feel like they're not doing their job if they don't vote for 10.
And that's why we get this guy home.
We were there for Hal Baines.
Oh, that's right.
He was really good, but we were there the whole time.
There was no Hal Baines conversations.
There's very good, then there's great,
and then there's excellent.
I think these guys are like two levels below
where they need to be.
But this has been the case for a while,
which is why my buddy Gus,
his dad,
when we were driving to that Mets game that time
and we were talking about
how the Hall of Fame was getting devalued
and he came up with that pyramid idea.
And this is why you need the pyramid
because if we had the pyramid,
Scott Rowland gets in
and he's on the ground floor.
It's like, oh, good.
Congratulations.
Oh, interesting.
When the Ricky Henderson type gets in,
then it's like, oh, is he level three or level two? And it's like a different argument. Instead, it's just like
everybody's equal, which makes no sense. That's pretty good. Someone had the idea,
first of all, this would be a great event, but you have one chance to get in.
I mean, how great, that would be a nice pay-per-view if you had one chance to get in
and then you don't have to... So you might like nine guys one year and then not get anyone for like three years.
That's the problem though.
They want it to be an event.
They need definitely players getting in.
Yeah.
I was watching The Running Man over the weekend.
When was the last time you saw that movie?
I couldn't even tell you.
It's really good.
I was like shocked by how good, how I can't believe they haven't remade it.
But at one point,
Richard Dawson, he's the evil post. And he screams at one of the people like,
maybe you won't get your steroids. And it was like, ooh. But we were making steroids jokes.
This movie came out in 1987. And I just don't understand why Clemens and Bonds,
people are acting like this is this great awakening of,
oh my God, these guys that game the system.
How do we know there weren't guys from the 70s and 80s that didn't do stuff?
It's bad.
The whole thing's stupid.
Bonds had as many MVPs as Roland had all-star appearances.
It's like, come on.
Even if you just cut Bonds off after 1998, put on the plaque,
this is only from 84 to 98.
He's still a Hall of Famer.
He's the best left fielder I ever saw.
Yeah.
Too righteous, these dumb voters.
That's a problem.
I don't know.
I mean, would you ever bring your kids to the Baseball Hall of Fame at this point?
We went like four years ago.
And it's great.
Cooperstown's a really nice place.
We drove like three and a half hours from the city, from New York.
And yeah, but my buddy Darren's like,
we were going to go this summer.
I'm not going anymore.
I'm just not.
I don't need to see like Scott Rowland.
The parlay kid?
Parlay kid.
It was like 11 kids.
He says he's out.
He's not happy.
I'll tell you what.
He's not happy.
Your guy Schilling's not in.
There's some text.
Schilling should be in.
Clemens should be in. Bond should be in. A- Schilling should be in. Clemens should be in.
Bond should be in.
A-Rod should be in.
Like, what are we doing?
Yeah.
Just put them all in the basement.
Give them some, like, shitty room
that's not that well lit.
But they should all be in.
That's the pyramid.
Yeah.
Ridiculous.
All right, Sal.
Good job by you.
Good job by you, buddy.
All right, that's it for the podcast.
Thanks to Cousin Sal, as always. All right, that's it for the podcast.
Thanks to Cousin Sal, as always.
Thanks to Kyle Creighton for producing, as always.
Don't forget, new Rewatchables coming Monday night.
And I will see you on the way. So I don't have.