The Bill Simmons Podcast - McCaffrey’s MVP Run, Raiders Regrets, 'Smackdown,' Morey’s Controversy, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal | The Bill Simmons Podcast

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss their gambling losses on the Bears, Chiefs, and Cowboys; how seriously to take the Raiders; Christian McCaffrey's jump to the front of the MVP race; NFC contenders; and more (2:50). Then they guess the NFL lines for Week 6 (47:15). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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for 20 years. So you're getting that. And also the rewatchables, the original feed, Shea Serrano, Rembrandt Brown, myself, Remember the Titans. It goes for 90 minutes. It's extremely funny. It's really good. Check that one out. Shea Serrano's new book, by the way, is called Movies and Other Things. It comes out on Tuesday. You can pre-order it now on Amazon or Barnes & Noble wherever you get your books. It is the Ringer Books first book that

we've done on our imprint. Shea's third book. It's a good one. You can order that now. Coming up, The Cuz. But first, for old time's sake, our friends from Tic Tac and Melatonin. All right. I've lost about eight liters of blood from gambling today. Sal's probably lost 10 to 12. We have gamely decided. The injury card came 10 to 12. We have gamely decided.

The injury card came out for us. We waved it off. We have gamely decided to do this podcast today. Sal, I'm starting to wonder if we should gamble. Maybe we shouldn't. What if we just stopped? No, I won't entertain that nonsense for a second, but I do need the last six hours between the Cowboys

and this Chiefs money line backing just, just murdered me. And then you had the Raiders, you had that earlier game. Yeah. Yeah. It's a full day of just crap. I had a bears Patriots tease on million dollar picks and in real life, the Patriots just had to win by double figures. The bears had to, uh, just win and they're up for the Raiders are on their own three yard line. And they're up four.

The Raiders are on their own three-yard line. There's six minutes left. Derek Carr has not thrown a pass that traveled more than five yards in the air basically the whole game. I just figured I got this. It's the Khalil Mack revenge game. I've escaped the jaws of death, and now I'm here.

They force a fourth-down punt, run into the kicker. Gruden, fake punt, run up the middle, which always seems to work, by the way. And then they charge down the field, score a touchdown. Chase Daniel comes back, throws a pick. I guess my first question to you, since the Raiders now have cost me three of the five weeks, have cost me a lot of money. We made fun of them before the season.

Do we atone? Do we apologize to John Gruden's Raiders? Do we apologize? I think we do. I do. We have to pull the Fonzie in when he was just like, I'm sorry. He couldn't say it, right? He was too cool to say he was sorry. I don't think we're too cool. I think we do. They're a game out of first place now. This is crazy, this Raiders team. It makes no sense at all. Well, the Jacobs pick was, was, I mean, he's, he's advertised. He's really good. And I actually thought the bears were in the right spots trying to stop the run a lot of this game. And he just was able to create, it's a little like what Marlon matches did to the chiefs. He was superb car. When, if he's getting rid of the ball in two seconds or less short passes,

and you're just not all over those receivers, he can actually look pretty good too. And, uh, I don't know. Wait, I mean, find six AFC playoff teams for me.

It's going to be hard. It is tough because the bills, I guess you have to believe in the bills for the five slot, the number five, but yeah, I mean, back to the game for a second. It was, it's weird because you and house, the bills for the five slot, the number five. But yeah, I mean, back to the game for a second.

It's weird because you and House, I didn't love the Bears as much as you guys did. In fact, I bet the Raiders over 17 points. I just thought it was going to be a weird game. I did some research on this. In the London games, the good defenses don't often travel well. You don't know Khalil Mack has overdoses on roasted peanuts. I don't know what it is, but the defenses don't usually travel well. I'm like, Chicago's going to get out to a,

the Raiders are going to get out to a lead. I think Chase Daniels screw up. I'll give him a good field position. They'll have 17 in the third quarter and they'll score. They had 17 at half. I almost, I was cursing because I wanted you guys to win, but I wanted to win my over 17 bet. Yeah.

And you guys were hilarious on the text because House wanted a bell. He's like, cousin, what will the line be if the Raiders score, if the Bears score in the beginning of the third quarter? And I was trying to figure that out. And you were calling him names for trying to hedge. And then you wanted a hedge. It was just a big mess that last hour of that game. Our text, look, if anyone hacks our phones, we're dead anyway anyway but I definitely crossed the line with House a couple times I challenged his manhood I said mean names I was like we're fucking riding this out

and then the Bears took the lead 21-17 I was still berating him you blank you wanted a hedge see now we have this and then it didn't happen it looked like a classic raiders collapse they fumbled at the one right they were going in for the lead they fumbled at the one then you got

it back and you know it wasn't the test what we ask ourselves often with these terrible quarterbacks is all right you want to put chase daniel in a teaser what happens if you're down 10 nothing and you have chase daniel it's like well it wasn't that it wasn't that kind of game though they came right back they scored scored the first, like, with six minutes left in the third quarter, they had caught up almost. Yeah. The game turned because Carr turned the pitch to Jacobs, who was not in the spot he thought and threw it 20 yards backwards, and the Bears got a little momentum. The crowd, those London games are always weird. I can never tell who the crowd's cheering for, but

ultimately, the Raiders tried to give that game away Those London games are always weird. I can never tell who the crowd's cheering for. Ultimately, the Raiders tried to give that game away a bunch of times. Then the Bears are like, no, no, you take it. It was one of those games. I came out of that game losing a lot of respect for the Bears, not because of the Chase Daniel thing. I mentioned earlier today on Twitter the Trubiskyholics when the Bears were down 17-0. the Trubisky-holics came out.

Oh, see what you get, Chase Daniel? It's like, all right, settle down. I think I would still rather have Chase Daniel. If Trubisky was in that game today, I think it's actually worse. I don't know. I don't know about that. What do you mean? I don't know.

What do you like about Chase Daniel? What do you like about Trubisky? They're both terrible. Listen, this is one of those. He's thrown five career touchdown passes. He was lucky. He's going to make $100 million being Drew Brees' backup and then a few games here until Trubisky comes back. But, you know, I made an analogy.

I said, this is, you know, the guy who's working the fryer at McDonald's for 10 years, he's just not going to be the manager. That's just how it is. You know after 10 years, he's just not going to be the manager. That's just how it is. You know after 10 years that he just doesn't have what it takes. He's filling in for a reason. He's not going to be their starter. So you don't think Brad's ever going to be an EP of Jimmy Kimmel Life? I didn't say that.

I just said he's not going to be a manager at McDonald's. I think Chase Daniel and Trubisky are both backups. But look, if the bears had an awesome defense, it wouldn't matter. And, and the, the shocking thing about the game today, now you could say it was because the defense didn't travel. I wish you had shared all of that statistical research you've done with me. I told you that.

I made the bet three, three hours before the game. Um, I, I'm just not sure their defense is that good. I actually think we might have been overrating it a little bit. Whereas I think the Patriots have a legitimately A minus to A to... Not an A plus defense, but it might be an A defense. I think they can, against any good team, they can cover, they can rush the pass or all that stuff. I was kind of down on the Bears after that one. Meanwhile, the Packers, who we thought you could run all over them, everybody had Zeke Elliott in their daily fantasy team this week, I've watched a lot of the Packers this year. That was, I thought, the best two and a half quarters they've played. And then in typical Packers fashion, they'd let their foot off the gas pedal.

You come charging back and Dak is trying to single handedly get his $140 million contract extension that game. Didn't happen. But you were believing there for a little bit. Well, I was believing and then I wasn't believing. The problem with Zeke is I think he would have run down their throat. But they got off to such a slow start. They had a throw. They couldn't, you know, down 17-0.

By the way, thanks, NFL, for giving those two clunkers for the late afternoon. Both 17-0 at half. It was Joe Sacco and Sac Prescott over and over and over. I couldn't stand it. I'm my own guy. But what I want to know about Zeke is wouldn't you love to see a stat for this? You know, we have QB ratings and all this other crap that no one cares about. Who has the most celebrations when there's a flag behind them?

Who has like a big Zeke doesn't have to score. It could be like a 12 yard run and he's stirring the soup and there's like three flags behind him and he's the only one in the stadium that does it. I want that stat. Who's got the most of those? Yeah, I'm feeling our very own Zeke Elliott is ahead in that game. Well, your team goes 3-0 against really bad teams. And then there's this whole argument about,

are they 3-0 because of the competition, or are they 3-0 because they're good? And everybody takes sides. And then talk about all week, because it's America's team, and that's what we do. They lose last week. Curious game. Thought you got outcoached.

A couple weird fourth and short plays or third and shorts, like stuff like that where it's just like, oh, maybe it was one of those games. Who knows? Let's see this week. Now they've lost to the Saints and Packers. I thought – I actually thought the Saints could have beaten them by more. I didn't think Bridgewater played well last week.

I thought he actually played well today. And then this Packers game, you know, you were, what was it? 31 to 3 at one point? That game was over. What do we think? It was bad, but I do think the teams you just mentioned, the Saints and Packers are the two best in the NFC. I mean, I know it's hard to separate some of these teams.

Well, so that would be the counter, right? If those teams are 1 and 2 in the NFC. I mean, I know it's hard to separate some of these, these teams. So that would be, that would be the counter, right? If those teams are one and two in the NFC, it may be Seattle's three. Could you, could you still have the chance to be the fourth best team? I personally, I,

the Panthers are growing on me. Yeah. Why not? This McCaffrey thing is, is turning into, um, beyond a one-man show. He has suddenly thrust himself into the MVP conversation, which I want to talk about later.

But the Carolina, the advanced metric stats were a little favorable with them. Their quarterback's not killing them. And we might get two playoff teams out of that division and two out of the NFC West, which would leave you and Philly fighting for the NFC East, potentially. Yeah. Yeah, I was down. I think the last time we did the podcast, when we guessed the lines for Jacksonville, Carolina. First of all, we said

stay away Atlanta, Houston. And I said, same divisions playing Jacksonville, Carolina. Also stay away. That was a very entertaining game. I'm glad I stayed away because I would have bet it the wrong way. But I much rather watch Allen and Minshew than Flacco and Rivers, right? Wasn't that so much more compelling? Oh, yeah. Well, it was especially compelling if you had Jacksonville plus three and a half, and then it was compelling for my anus.

But I actually think Carolina should have won that game by double figures. It was interesting. Joey Sly, who was one of the five best players in the league through four weeks, was just lights out, making everything. And then somebody blocked his first field goal today from, I think it was like 56. And then that was it. He fell apart. And he just kind of let Jacksonville hang around. As you said, not only was that game incredibly entertaining, McCaffrey was the best player of the day today, but guess I just don't understand the past interference review.

And I think that's if you're going to make your headlines from the first five weeks and you're doing like the dopiest subplot of the first five weeks, it's this past interference reviews. It doesn't seem like there's any rhyme or reason. It seems like they're really afraid to overturn. But like the Fournette, I think it was the third Hail Mary through to Fournette. And Fournette was going to catch it. And the just went barreling into him yeah and knocked it down it was like that's like the definition of pass interference i think there's a different standard for the the hail marys than there is every other play i think they actually made a point of that but you're right he did get shoved but minchu was doing some interesting things with the hail mary he wasn't

throwing it in the back of the end zone he was purposely lofting it so that it was in the front of the end zone and who was a shark like some some of the guys in the front were westbrook i don't know what it was but they were purposely setting up or everybody else is waiting by the goal post and almost worked he's interesting he is still probably the favorite for offensive rookie of the year well it was um it was still it was daniel j Jones going into this week, but as a slight favorite. And then Murray was too. Minshew was actually third. I think

Minshew's legitimately good. I gotta say, wouldn't you say he's above average? I think he's above average. I hear all these announcers in the terrible roughing the passer call against the Steelers that cost them the game potentially, but you're like, oh, well, they're doing it for a reason. You want to see your starting quarterbacks out there. And it terrible like roughing the passer call against the Steelers that cost them the game potentially. But you're like, oh, well, they're doing it for a reason. You want to see your starting quarterbacks out there.

And it's like, I don't know. I kind of like Ardor Minshew. I like some of these guys, Alan and some of these other guys. I'm sick of the old guys already. Well, they were talking last week about if Minshanity just keeps going, whether they would potentially trade Foles, which I think would have some cap issues for them. I'm going the other way. What if they put Minshew on the open market when Foles comes back?

Oh, interesting. And they just say, I mean, he's so easy to trade. He's got like the cheapest possible contract. And they're like, hey man, Minshew is available. And you just sold like as high as humanly possible. Where does that guy go? Like Cincinnati or something? I'm trying to remember.

What about the Bears? Where would he go? What if they went to the Bears and they said, we'll give you Minshew for Trubisky right now? Right now. I don't know. How much do you believe in Minshew? I think you hate Trubisky more than a lot of the GMs out there

and people would make the decisions to do. I can't believe you're so defensive of Trubisky. I don't care. I don't know. Wait a second. I know it's easy to make him of Trubisky. I don't care. I don't know. I know it's easy to make him a punchline, but Chase Daniel is not better. He's not. Wait a second. I'm just realizing something. You're a Trubisky-holic. Is that right? You are. These are all the signs. Oh, no. You're disparaging Chase Daniel. You're saying he's

not as bad as people seem to think he is. It seems like you have real hope in him. You won't trade him straight up for Gardner Minshew? Crazy. You're a travisco-holic. I can't believe it. Why don't you tell me? One of my 12 steps. What do I have to go through? I'm a travisco-holic. Outed yourself from the pod. Let's take a quick break. The Google Assistant is ready to help you get more done with just your voice in the car at home and everywhere you take your phone. With the Assistant, you can set reminders so you don't forget important things like, hey, Google, remember that my keys are on the top shelf. And then later I can just say, hey, Google, where did I leave my keys? Guess what?

Google will know. A little help. Hands free. Just say, hey, Google, to get started. I wish my wife had used, hey, Google, wake me up so I can get on my plane from Boston, LA, because she missed it today. That's a whole other story.

Check out Google Assistant. Just say, hey, Google, to get started. Okay, I have two big questions for you. The first one is this. Is there a single contender through five weeks that you feel good about? What do you mean? I'm including your Patriots?

Contender? What do you mean? Yeah. I'm going to give you the New England Patriots, the New Orleans Saints, the Green Bay Packers, and the Kansas City Chiefs,

who I think are the top four teams if we're doing a power poll right now. San Francisco and Seattle are probably right underneath them. And then after that, it's just people going up and down depending on the week. Are you 100% sold on any of those teams? You're 100% sold on the Pats? I'll play it like this.

Is there anyone I'd be shocked that didn't make the championship game? Okay, great. Before you said that, I said, God, I was looking for odds. I was like, what do you get for Chiefs Patriots AFC championship? Because there's no way that's not it. Now I'm looking at the Chiefs and I'm like, they're going to get, someone's going to run, they're going to get 350 yards. Sonny Michelle is going to go crazy on them in January.

And maybe someone before that, maybe Lamar Jackson gets 250 yards rushing if they make it that far. And is Mahomes ankle going to be a thing every week? Because I don't know what to make of that either. Like the announced like, oh, well, it changed the game. And then I like sprint for a first down. So I'm not sure how real that is. So right now, Patriots are the only team that I'd be shocked that didn't make if they didn't

make the championship game. I have NFC one, two, three and 4, but those are interchangeable. I think you're right. So you have the Patriots, who I did a quick power pull before we started the pod. According to my calculations, they played Pittsburgh the 25th out of 32. They played the Jets, who have 30. Washington, 31. And Miami, 32.

Who was our other game against? Did we play the Giants? Play the Giants next week. We play the Giants next week. I have them at 26. Yeah, and then the only good team we played was Buffalo, who have number nine. And that game, they almost lost.

There's some concerns with this Pats team when they have a game like the game you played today against Green Bay or even the kind of game Kansas City just played against Indianapolis where if you're in third and eights, third and thirteens, Brady, I've never seen him

more uncomfortable in the pocket. This is right around the time every year where the Pats fans started worrying about Brady, but he just looks like he really doesn't want to get hit. Or maybe he's saving himself for January or whatever. But if there's any pressure at all, he doesn't seem like he's moving around the same way.

And he's really dumping the ball. And you could feel it last week in that Buffalo game. And I think it's a concern because not having that tight end valve like they used to have, the teams now always know it's going to be White or Edelman. Gordon has been decent this year. That's about it. But man, from a weapons standpoint, you can see why they kick the tires so hard on Antonio Brown. This is a team, I actually think they need to trade for a receiver. Well, I could see what you're saying, but here's the luxury you have.

The defense. The defense is great. And as far as the offense and the offensive line, you have time to figure it out. You have that division wrapped up no matter what. I don't care what the Bills are going to be doing. You have it wrapped up. And you still have a bunch of teams that aren't good on the schedule, right? Yeah. Giants, no matter what. I don't care what the Bills are going to be doing. You have it wrapped up. And you still have a bunch of teams that aren't good on the schedule, right? Giants, at Jets.

It gets harder. Now, second half of the season, it gets harder, but the offensive line will get healthier. The offensive line has really had some tough spots. That's what I mean. It could work out. It was weird seeing just through eight minutes of the first quarter. Brady had taken three sacks.

Maybe one of them didn't count, but he was on his back three times, and you didn't convert a fourth and one. It's like, oh, boy, this isn't Patriots football. But then you have to beat you guys for four quarters, and no team can do it. That's just how it is. They're going to outwit him. They covered the spread.

They covered the 21-plus. They did it all. Brady had an old man moment today that almost gave me a heart attack. What happened? He tried to do a slide and I don't know what was going on, but he was basically like, how can I tear every ligament in my knee at the same time and put his leg out? And I don't need, like I could slide better now and I just turned 50. And it really seemed like that was it. He just blew out his knee, but he has this giant knee brace now, I guess, that he's had for a while. But every once in a while, you're reminded that he has this giant knee brace.

And I guess the knee brace weathered the storm, but it was just such an unathletic old guy play. I was like, oh, man. Well, that's not his thing anyway. No, I know. But there are these moments where you're like, oh man. Well, that's not his thing anyway. No, I know. But it's just, there are these moments where you're like, oh man, this dude's 42. Like this is, you know, and I know we're pushing the limits of what we, you know, look at Verlander now. Jacko was on a tweet. Jacko's so upset about the Houston coming next round. He's doing all these Verlander tweets

about all the great pitchers in history. Now Verlander is the only one whose ERA is getting better in his mid thirties. Everyone else that goes the other way. I know we're pushing the, the, the limits of age and all that, but 42 is still 42. And then you can feel it sometimes in these games. Well, fine. But I don't know how much am I going to hear you complain? You're going to be, you're going to be eight.

No, you're going to be at least eight. No. And go to Baltimore. I'm't know. How much am I going to hear you complain? You're going to be – I'm not complaining. You're going to be 8-0. You're going to be at least 8-0 and go to Baltimore. I'm not complaining. I think from a weapons standpoint, I think there's going to be a certain style and a rhythm that they're going to have to play with this year. I worry about them in a shootout type of game. But then you watch the Chiefs tonight, and they couldn't stay out of their own way offensively after the first quarter.

I also felt we got a classic Jason Garrett game and a classic Andy Reid game. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about that. Yeah. So to answer your contenders thing, just quickly on the contenders thing.

So you feel the best about the Pats. Would you say New Orleans or Green Bay that you feel the best about right now? Because Breeze will be back in a few weeks. And I think the Saints defense has been really impressive.

I've been impressed. Yeah. I know you guys had the Rams against the Saints and that's a game that Breeze went out on. They could have maybe won that game.

I mean, they are solid. They are rock solid defensively. And that Marshawn Lattimore, he held like Evans to nothing today and cooper to nothing like he's really like deon sanders-esque in the in the shutdown department really is and they had six sacks really um i don't know it's a lot that you know it takes it takes teddy bridgewater he doesn't have to pass for 300 yards he did anyway he got into a groove

with michael thomas jared cook came alive thank. I didn't start him in fantasy after like five weeks. But yeah, that team scares me a lot. Well, Mishan Lattimore, he shut down my undefeated fantasy season. You're going to beat me this week unless Nick Chubb has 40 points. You need 40 from Chubb. You got very mouthy, very mouth sending emails, sending it over the site and everything. I knew it was going to end soon. So I wanted to enjoy it.

The thing about fantasy is you're going to have the week where Mike Evans just has a zero. Right. And I'm Googling Mike Evans in the third quarter. Like I didn't have enough to worry about as the bears are just cratering in London. And Mike Evans, I just have this zero and I'm watching the game and I'm like, I swear he's out there. What's going on?

Yeah. I'm Googling him. Is he sick? Does he have bronchitis? What's happening? No, totally healthy. Just decided to give a zero. And then the other one that killed me today was Lamar. And before we talk about Garrett and Reed, we should just talk quickly about, it seems like the jury is out now on how to beat Baltimore and you just boots the living hell out of lamar yeah and and basically try to force him to bad decisions he was not good today it was tough tough one i don't think he's good i apologize to mallory and you to a lesser extent i i would trade him for patrick mohomes if i could i saw you guys talking about it um if you know if he's up against these giant defenses it's going to be it's going to be tough but um would you trade it for minshu no no no no

no that's craziness all right do you want to do you want to do jason garrett or andy reed well i just i don't know take your pick but that the slamming the red flag down and getting called for that that was i had to laugh even though i knew it meant the end of the game for us but i had to laugh i was like that's a great jason garrett moment and just the play calling in itself and then andy reed i'll just do it real quick i i don't know i had a problem with that fourth and one call right like it was no they're gonna stop it right up the gut if you do play action there i know you don't want to roll him right he has trouble with his wheels and If you do play action there, I know you don't want to roll them right. He has trouble with his wheels and everything. You do play action there. You could probably score

on a lot of the options you're going to throw their way. Really, honestly, the run up the middle is the one thing you can't do. It was really bad. It was a very Andy Reid-esque home collapse as a big favorite. We've seen it a million times in the past. The crowd was super loud, ready to go, the whole thing. Indianapolis' defense, that was my adopted gambling team this year. Sure. And I didn't even bet on them today. We threw a token million-dollar picks parlay on them, but they just had so many injuries on defense.

It seemed unrealistic. Offense, too. Mack and Hilton. How are they going to get this going? They don't even know who's playing out of those two. Well, I've been praising Mack all season on this pod. I really think he's one of the five best running backs in the league. Yeah, he's solid.

He's so smart. He had that one great run near the end when he ran for the first down where he was just waiting, waiting, waiting, and then kind of put his hand on the blocker's back and fell forward three yards. I think that guy's really good. But they killed... Anyone who ran the ball killed him today. That's true. They really did.

I think, I mean, including Brissette. Who ran today? Well, their nose tackle went out on the Chiefs. That wasn't open. Yeah, Wilkins had some good run. He's good. They lit him up. I felt like in the third quarter, I'm like,

oh my God, they have a three-point lead. And I'm texting you live lines because I did it with the Chiefs the last three weeks and we didn't do it. But at one point they were down three points and they were an underdog and it was in the third quarter. And I was like, yeah, because Brissette probably could pass for 30 yards the rest of the game and they'll win this. They were just getting gouged on the ground. It was amazing. We didn't talk about the clapper because they showed him a couple of times doing the clapper thing. And I think they should weave in stock footage from different years. So we have to guess which year it is when they do that. When they're down 31-3 and they get a first down, they should just cut to like a 2009 thing of him clapping and then be like, oh no, Oh no, that's an old one. Like there should be a little game within the game.

Maybe they get it sponsored. Yeah. What year of the clapper was this? Classic clapper though. I thought, uh, I thought your team got, I thought your team got out coached the last two weeks. That wasn't helping. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it's going to show you just, I never think they're going to win anything with this coaching staff. And also like Kellen Moore got a little too much credit. They beat up on those soft defenses. And it's like,

Oh, Kellen Moore, this is a new diversified offense. And it's like, nah, soon as someone throws something weird at you defensively, it's going to be trouble. The one thing I really enjoy is when they're not playing well in a game

that Aikman's doing. Cause he, sometimes he can't hide that. It would be like if I was announcing a Patriots game. Yeah. The kicker, he made it, but there was a false start near the end. And then he missed the 33-yarder. And as he was missing it, Trey goes, he was like, oh, no.

He couldn't help it. He said out loud. Still on the payroll. What are you going to do? Well, he's the Hall of Famer from the Cowboys, Tregman. Hey, we're teaming up with Fando to give you, the listener out there, a chance to play fantasy football against me, Sal, in the trifecta of the best part.

The winner gets to fly out to Puerto Rico, be our official correspondent for Fando's World Fantasy Football Championship Live Finals. And I don't think we can get Harry for this anymore because he's like blowing up. He's got this whole weird internet gambling. He's hitting picks. He's got other partners now.

It feels like you're getting pushed out. I don't know what's going on, Sal. He's one calzone away from blowing up. Yeah, he's in London right now. He was at that game. I don't know. I have to talk to him. I don't know what his deal is.

He's got a lot of stuff going on. Well, we have in London right now. He was at that game. I don't know. I have to talk to him. I don't know what his deal is. He's got a lot of stuff going on. Well, we have stuff going on here. You'll get an all-expense-paid trip to enjoy four days' worth of WFFC events in Puerto Rico, including an exclusive beach afterparty with live performance by Ludacris. Go to Fandle.com slash ringer. Draft your week six fantasy team.

Throw it in that league for the game's kickoff on Sunday. One quick thing. I was 447th out of 834. That gets me no money, but... fantasy team throw it in that league for the games kickoff on sunday i got one quick thing i i was 447th out of 834 that gets me no money but uh james white you know i i draft this guy i was like i want to have him in one maybe two leagues and then put him on daily fantasy what happened to this guy he used to he used to be score like gangbusters. Is Belichick mad at him because he saw the birth of his child and he doesn't just get in anymore? I think it's one of those things that seems like when he's in,

they know we're going to use him. It's like the Cordero Patterson syndrome. Yeah. Cordero Patterson's in the game. They're definitely running. Yeah, but that matters anymore? James, I made a whole career out of it. No, I know.

12 receptions a game. I think the no Gronk thing I I don't know it's a weird theory but I wonder if that's affected a little bit where he's really the only outlet other than Edelman yeah but and the other thing on FanDuel before we go leave DeAndre Hopkins I had him on my team killed me like I don't

know my son's like I have DeAndre Hopkins I went up against Will Fuller I was like, yeah, fantasy sucks. I don't have to tell you. I'm 5'21 in our league. So that wasn't great. I had Thielen and Robinson, but you know who killed me? Lamar Jackson. That's right. I forgive him. I love Lamar Jackson. Lamar Jackson? Yeah. Would have been nice to have Deshaun Watson's five touchdowns. This was one of those weeks though that whoever had Deshaun Watson and McCaffrey was winning. Right. It's over. Anyway, remember you can play against me, Sal and the trifecta in the ringer listener league on Fando. It doesn't matter if you missed last

week, you can still take home the top prize. Go to Fando.com slash ringer to enter right now. Last thing I wanted to mention before we get to guess the lines, who's your MVP right now through five weeks? I know it's early. I know it's not even totally one third of the season, but we never actually bet on Mahomes to win the MVP. We thought it was a slam dunk. Now I would argue he's third.

He might even be fourth. Who's third? Mahomes. No. Could you see Wilson and McCaffrey being above him? I guess McCaffrey moves up. Yeah. And I think Wilson moves up. Hustle and Bustle had

a great game. God, you forget how great he is sometimes. He really... And that game was spectacular. That game was as close a game, Rams-Seahawks, as you could possibly get. I mean, him rolling left and hitting Lockett in the very corner of the end zone. There's no other place.

That was very close. Goff going for the two-point conversion, almost making it, not making that was close. Woods has his knee down, does he not, in the end zone before the elbow hits. And of course, the field goal goes over the, if it was an extended goal post, who knows what would have happened. I mean, every single part of that was close. It was a crazy game. The thing you definitely noticed with Wilson this year,

and the point's been made by a lot of different people, he just seems like really locked in. Yeah. Like this is career year Russell Wilson, which is good for you because he's your fantasy QB. But I was talking to, Russell and I have been texting about these sports media things that people say. And one of them is definitely this, where people go,

people don't talk enough about how good Russell Wilson is. It's like, I think we do actually. I think people, I think Russell Wilson's won a Superbowl. He's been really good for this entire decade. Nobody's sleeping on Russell Wilson. There's nobody watching the thursday night game going oh man i never realized russell wilson was good he is good right we we've no art we've known he's when he was holding out or threatening to hold out

last year like it was a big deal because people are like holy shit they're gonna blow it with russell wilson the guy's great um's excellent. They'd be crazy if they had ever let him go. And you know what's weird with them is they ran more than any other team in the NFL. They ran like 58% of the time, which is unheard of last year in today's football. But I think Pete Carroll, to

mention him for a second, he has eight straight in one point games, he's won eight straight. Like that's, how lucky do you, you can't be more lucky coming from a team that threw an interception from the one yard line in the Super Bowl. That aside, you don't get luckier.

Other than that. Other than the worst last second loss in football history. Yeah, right. Keep that out of your mind. Yeah. He has, he still has the best reactions of any coach who pulls a game out of his ass. Like when the other team misses the game-winning field goal. Nobody's better than Pete at whipping the headset off

and sprinting on the field, all that stuff. But yeah, Russell Wilson's really good. And like Collinsworth said today during the game, he was raving about one of the Colts guys. And he's like, we don't talk about interior offensive linemen enough. Now that's a case where it's like, yeah, you're probably right. I was going to lead the podcast with interior offensive linemen today and decided against it. But the whole, we don't talk about how good Russell Wilson thing is absurd. Now, McCaffrey is somebody that we talked about as a possible first guy drafted in fantasy or highest auction price. He was known to be one of the best fantasy guys, but now we're seeing it flip a little bit where he actually might be one of the best guys. He's certainly the biggest impact running back this season. Well, he takes over games, right?

Not to say that he didn't do that last year, but it seems more regular now. And it doesn't really... Boy, I hate to crap on Cam Newton, but this kid's making it all work, right? Yeah. Does it matter? Maybe McCaffrey's sprinting for an 80-yard touchdown.

No one's within 12 yards of even touching him. Maybe it doesn't matter maybe maybe mcafree's like sprinting for an 80 yard touchdown no one's within 12 yards of even touching him maybe it doesn't really matter and he's getting lucky this kyle allen but this team has a little little more uh more vigor right no it matters and i'm gonna make a afternoon cable tv point this is christian mcafree's team now, Sal. Cam Newton, he had to go for this to happen. And now everybody knows this is Christian McCaffrey's team. But it really is. I do think Newton kind of had to get pushed out for a couple weeks and they had to recalibrate what was going on and go,

oh yeah, this is one of the best players in the league. Our whole offense should revolve around him. What happens if he comes back? What do they do? I think they have some outs with that because if they can continue to succeed, it will be a lot tougher to justify, oh, great, Cam Newton's back.

Let's put him back in because he looked so bad before he got taken out. Have you looked at their schedule, by the way? I haven't, great. Cam Newton's back. Let's put him back in. Because he looked so bad before he got taken out. Have you looked at their schedule, by the way? I haven't, no. So they're home for the Bucs next week. Oh, no, I'm sorry. They're not home for the Bucs. That's a London game.

Oh, you nailed it. Good for you. Yeah, thank you. Then at San Francisco after a bye week. And then home for the Titans. I don't know. That team could be six and two pretty easily. They could be right.

Yeah. Look, you can't count anyone. Although I am about to count Atlanta out. I really am. I was going to bring that up. I don't know what to do with them. Hold that thought. Hold that thought.

Go ahead. Do you agree with me that it's Wilson McCaffrey and Mahomes now as our top three MVP? I don't even know who the favorite is. Yeah, I guess Mahomes takes a hit tonight, but I still think he's going to have monster numbers at the end of the year. If Seattle goes like 12-4, Wilson's going to win the MVP. Yeah. If he plays the way he did those first five. Right.

But McCaffrey could have the greatest fantasy season we've had since like vintage Tomlinson. Well, then they have to go 10 and six. For him to win MVP? Yeah. Yeah, like probably like 11 and five, right? 10 and six, 11 and five. That's a lot for that.

Yeah. Again, I don't know what's going to be in that division. I really don't. You don't see that one happening? I like the Saints. I still like the Saints at the top there. But if you want to talk Atlanta, I'm all ears. Yeah.

Well, hold on. One McCaffrey thing. He has 159.6 PPR fantasy points, 128.6 non-PPR. PPR. Get the fuck out of here with PPR. It's the fourth and fifth most by any running back through his team's first five games, according to Tristan Cockrell.

Wow. Even on pace with Tomlinson. He still passes, too. He does it all. I have... We usually try to do this. Now we're through five weeks. I think we can cross five teams off pretty easily.

We might even be able to cross off six because I'm happy crossing off Miami, Washington, the Jets, the Bengals, the Falcons. Falcons are one and four. They're embarrassing. Remember Brown just moved there two weeks ago, partly to get away from the Falcons. I don't think he moved far away enough. I think he might have to go to Hawaii. Is he going to keep going? Yeah. Arizona, I think, is a cross-off. I don't see a scenario where they go 10-6 in the NFC. So we already have five teams. Oh, I'm sorry, six teams.

Six teams if you go Atlanta, yeah. I was going to give Atlanta one more week, but I don't know. No. I don't know if I can give Dan Quinn one more week. They fired their defensive coordinator. He wanted to take over as DC to prove that he's worthy of being a head coach. I don't know what that does. And they got just slashed by Houston, who at home could score 13 points or 50. It's such a weird division.

They had 160 yards rushing between Hyde, Johnson, and Deshaun Watson. So they're home for the Rams this week and home for Seattle next week. I can't imagine that. I'm sorry, they're at Arizona this week. Home for the Rams, home for Seattle. Those are their next three. All right, why don't we make an at-Arizona, loser-leaves-town match? Well, we usually try to go one cross-off team per week, so I'm fine keeping them. So we'll cross

off Miami, Washington, Jets, Cincy, Arizona. Somehow the Giants have avoided the chopping block. Yeah, but they're bad. I mean, I love Minnesota this week. You know when they're up again. They went against Tampa Bay and Washington and they won those games when Tampa's first of all, they shouldn't

have beaten Tampa Bay. You could have made that field goal at the end or any of the extra points. And let's just not forget that the Giants are bad. This is why I'm bad at gambling, because I refused to put Minnesota in a tease because I didn't want to bet on Kirk Cousins. And then I bet on Chase Daniel. Right. One of the many reasons I'm terrible. I was betting on Danell Hunter and Cook to have a good game. And Cousins, by accident, had a good game and Cousins by accident had a good game. He had over 300 yards and two touchdowns. Did you see the play when Mason Rudolph got hurt?

Yes, I did. Were you watching it live? No, I saw the replay like three seconds after. Alright, I was watching it live. I actually thought there was a possibility he was dead. Yeah, that's right. You texted. He's up. He went down and he was just completely lifeless,

but not like concussion lifeless. He seemed dead. And somebody leaned over him and kind of tapped his chest and nothing was happening. And he was just kind of like, oh my God, started waving people. But that was really bad. Pittsburgh's one and four.

And they traded their first round pick in the Mink of Fitzpatrick trade. And in the NBA, you had a lottery protected it. And in the NFL, these guys are all dumbasses. They don't lottery protect it. And that pick, I mean, I don't think they can pass since the Jets, Washington, Miami. But that pick's going to probably be in the top 10. It's going to be between five and 10.

I thought it was a mistake. And I thought about it, too. It wasn't a reactionary thing. And then you have Steelers fans like, no, what does it matter? He's still going to be better than any first-round pick we have next year. Yeah, I don't think so. I don't think so either. But I guess they're just counting on Rudolph or what's he going to be?

37, 38-year-old Roethlisberger coming back and being the charge. Yeah, but why not top five protect it? And if they don't get it, he rolls over. Yeah, right. Like in the NBA, nobody gives up unprotected first-round picks when they're bad. People get fired immediately. Yeah, you could do that in the NFL. All right, before we get to week six,

are you following this Daryl Morey versus China thing? I try not to. I saw Clay Travis get involved and I'm like, all right. Oh, no. Clay Travis waited in? He did. I'm going to be very, I don't want to say too much because I was watching football all day and I wasn't researching all the nuances of it. But this is the most fascinating NBA story

in a couple of years, maybe since Sterling, where you have... China is so important to their business. And not only like a franchise like the Rockets that since Yao Ming was on the team, they've had this huge foothold in China. But the individual guys that have gone over there, like Kobe, Curry, people like that, they're having games over there. They're trying to show their games, do these broadcast deals. They just brought in Joe Tsai to be the Nets owner. And this was kind of the big economic windfall place for them that they had been looking at. This and India were the two big places for them, but especially China. And with one tweet, this has turned into one of the

craziest NBA stories we've had. The NBA didn't really say anything for 36 hours. And then they finally did a statement. And now people are comparing their statement that was in English versus the statement that was in Chinese that was translated, which was much harsher on Daryl. Oh, no. And I actually thought he was going to get fired this weekend. And might it still happen? I can't say I feel safe. I mean, he's my friend.

Yeah. But I thought he was going to get fired this weekend because there was so much money at stake that it just becomes one of those things, you know, and once the internet gets involved in the, in the tweet bots and all that stuff and people start mobilizing, it goes to a whole other level. But, uh, I'll be really this, you know, they, they have these games there this week. People are traveling over there and, and, you know, ESPN didn't even, no writer from ESPN that I could find on their website even wrote about this. So ESPN has their own economic incentives there. And it's a little like when WWE had that pay-per-view in South Africa that

became a big deal. And people were pushing for them to pull out and then they just didn't pull out because it was too much money at stake. This China NBA thing is at a whole other level. So I would keep an eye on this story. I don't want to say too much because I can't say I don't feel informed enough about it to have like a deep, deep opinion, but I might tackle it on Tuesday. I'm going to research all this stuff the next couple of days, but I still think there's a, you know, I don't feel 100% safe with Daryl. I want to see how this plays out.

All right. Well, hopefully- Here's the lesson though, Sal. None of us should be on Twitter. Like none of us. Let's all get off. Let's all get off tomorrow. It really does suck.

Were you the one who said that there should be something that if you're hired for a job, it deletes all of your tweets from 18 years, from when you were 18 years or younger. Yeah. Yeah. There should be some kind of app that just does that for you. I told Kyle to delete all his tweets a while ago.

Yeah. Got rid of all of them. When Kyle was going to become the producer, I was like, delete your tweets, dude. I don't even know what's on there. I'm not going through there,

but just do it. I might delete mine. I might just do it. Cuban has some app. Let's take a quick break and then we'll do, but just do it. I might delete mine. I might just do it. Cuban has some app. Let's take a quick break and then we'll do, I guess, Lance. Let's talk about Pepsi. They take all NFL

celebrations to the next level, whether it's a Hail Mary touchdown, a defensive stop on the goal line, or a Super Bowl win when it's time to celebrate. It's time to crack open a Pepsi. I think the last time we talked about this, I can't remember how extensively I talked about Billy White Shoes Johnson, the Atlanta Falcons receiver that I came to love in the late seventies and early eighties,

because when he scored, he would wiggle his legs back and forth and do this whole celebration. I'd never seen anybody celebrate a touchdown and he immediately became my hero. I went on YouTube to see, I assume there was like a 10 minute Billy White Shoes Johnson touchdown celebration video. It does not exist. So weirdos on the internet who make stuff like this, can you make me a Billy White Shoes Johnson touchdown celebration video? I want to see it. Pepsi, I don't know. For whatever reason, I think of Pepsi when I think of touchdown celebrations. Who doesn't?

Right? My favorite one right now, what's your favorite one right now, Kyle? I like the team celebrations. I'm a big fan of the team celebrations. Even the corny rowboats or whatever. Anytime they're working together, I'm all in. Do you like when the defense runs into the end zone and does

the whole pose thing? I kind of enjoy that. Because they never get to do it. Yeah, I enjoy that one as well. Pepsi, the official sponsor of the NFL, reminds you and me and Kyle to always be celebrating. Guess the lines. Sal, can you guess the record?

Win-loss, not against the spread for road teams this year. How many games? Can you tell me how many games? 75. Win-loss for road teams, not against the spread. No spread. Win-loss. The road team is 42 and 33. Oh, you're good. You should be on a daily gambling show. Is that what it is? It's 43-32. Okay, good. So home teams, just to win, are 11 games under 500. Stupid season.

Let's not gamble anymore. Thursday night, the New England Patriots are playing at home against the New York football Giants. There's going to be a lot of Eli chants. Danny Dimes. People get excited about him. I think the line has to be a lot of Eli chants. Danny Dimes. People get excited about him. I think the line has to be at least two touchdowns. I'm going to go Patriots by 14 and a half.

I went way high. I put another factor in. I went 18 and a half. You're closer. It's 16. Now you factor in previous games, maybe history between the teams, home field advantage, but

I added, I think, three points to Bill Belichick hates his goddamn team and he wants to rip their head off and win by 40. He doesn't care where, if Eli's in the stadium, it's good enough for him. But apparently Vegas doesn't agree with me. Well, this is Eli's

last time in a Giants uniform. Thank God it's a Thursday game. So we only have a couple of days to see shots of the Tyreek catch. What would you have for the Giants, their entire team, how many points they score versus the Patriots defense? What would be the line for that? This is interesting because I have to do a prop on this for Fox. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. So if the spread is 16.

Well, you think the Giants, the spread for them would be what? Over under 16 and a half points, 17 points? I think we can figure it out because the... No, I don't even think that many. 13 and a half, 14? I think they're expecting it to be about 31, 14. All right. So let's say the Giants are 14.5 points.

Let's say the Pats defense is good for a touchdown. So you get the entire Giants team versus the Pats defense. Giants minus 7.5. Where are you going? I'm with you. I think the Patriots defense scores. It's funny. I have this written down for something we'll be discussing tomorrow. I really think

they're... And here's another thing. Don't they want Eli in the game? They're going to try... I know there's no more bounties in football. Greg Williams did away with... We can't do that anymore. But I think Belichick's going to wink, wink, nod, nod at his defense and say, I want to see Eli Manning in this game.

Do what you have to do. So here's my dream scenario for this game. Brady scrambles out on the giant sideline, goes out of bounds on a scramble and Eli hits him over the helmet with a steel chair. And it's just a full scale brawl. It's just on. They finally fight. That's what, how they would do WWE. Yeah. I have two Sunday marquee games, Sal. I think there are a bunch of good ones, a bunch of bad ones too, but what do you like? So let's go this one first.

Chiefs-Texans in Kansas City. Deshaun against Mahomes. There's no way this won't be entertaining. It's a shame they can't flex this and put this on. Actually, the Monday night game is good this week. Green Bay-Detroit. I have Kansas City by seven against Houston. That's exactly what I had. It's eight.

They made it eight. What do we think of Houston? Still a stay away? I feel very comfortable just never wagering on them this year. I think none of these AFC South teams can win two games in a row. I don't know. Right? I don't know what to make of them. Very, very rare.

There were moments in that Atlanta game today when it actually seemed like Atlanta might come back and then Atlanta's defense was just like nah we're good we're going to give them another touchdown you look at Watson like oh my god if he plays like this not even every game but two out of three

they should win this division by four games right like 426 yards if five touchdowns I'm making this second one a provisional but two out of three, like they should win this division by four games, right? Like 426 yards. If five touchdowns, I'm making this second one, a provisional Sunday marquee game, because it really hinges on if the 49ers beat the Browns on Monday night, which we don't know yet. Cause we're taping the Sunday night Rams at home against the 49ers.

If the 49ers go into this game undefeated and the Rams are three and two with Seattle, Kyle just burped. Kyle's in rough shape. this game undefeated and the Rams are three and two with Seattle. Kyle just burped. Sorry. Kyle's in rough shape. What happened, Kyle? Kyle's in bad shape.

Kyle, we haven't even started the week yet. It's Sunday night. First of all, Kyle never made it to my house today for football and the Pats were up to against the Redskins late in the first half. And I was furious because anytime he's not here, like bad stuff happens.

And if Brady had blown out his knee on that knee brace thing and Kyle wasn't here, I, that would have been it. I just wouldn't show up tomorrow. It would have been new producer. We would have been having auditions. Kyle,

just sleep over Saturday nights. Why are you even chanting it? He's Kyle's in rare form lately. So Rams, I have minus four against the 49ers. Boy, this was, I'm ashamed. I should get fired for what I do for a living because I said six and a half. It's way high.

Three and a half is right. Three and a half. And that, if the 49ers look good on a Monday, that'll, I think that'll go to three or two and a half. What's the September line on this? What's the late August line? What do you think it was? Eight?

I think it was like nine and a half. Wow. Yeah. Just the same. It's going to be on a short week. The Rams, what, are they going to lose three in a row? I think you have to fact these things in. Golf's a fun one.

People are just arguing in circles around golf. Yeah. It's like golf through for 500 yards just arguing in circles around Goff. Yeah. It's like, Goff threw for 500 yards. He can't be that bad. And then it's like, they can't win with Goff. And then Goff ends up bringing them down and puts them in a position to have the game-winning field goal, which the guy misses. Right.

And if they had made the field goal, it would have been like, Jared Goff. It just seems like he's destined for one of those careers where we just change our minds 130 times. I'd love to know what McVay really thinks about him, though. Honestly. I think he's fine. You can only say so much because he took him to a Super Bowl and everything, but I think there's some Matthew Stafford types.

I think I mentioned this would do just as well on that offense. Would you rather have him or Jacoby Brissett? I think Goff still. Kyle and I love Jacoby Brissett. In that system? I guess it doesn't matter. There's not a lot that Brissett can't do that he does poorly. The thing that I'm always impressed by him,

especially this season, is how calm he is. There'll be these fourth and ones. He'll change the play. Did it today in the Chiefs game. Changed the play. Went over and talked to every person. There was eight seconds, seven seconds, six seconds left on the 40-second clock.

And he's just got it. You see these other QBs. They panic. They're in the headlights. They end up calling the timeout in one second left, and he's just like, he's on it. Really, it's amazing. But I think Frank Reich also instills a lot of confidence in them. Totally.

He really does. I really believe in that team, and I hope they don't pass the point of no return with injuries, but I have them in my top seven or eight. Anyway, the London game, it's Carolina versus the Bucs. We saw this on a Thursday, didn't we, a few weeks ago? We did. I watched it on a JetBlue airplane.

Yeah. Can't say it was a great game. We have to see this. This has to be not a primetime, but a featured game twice. I don't understand. Yeah, that is a little weird. They should have checked with us on that one. Right.

At least they're doing it right and it's at 630 in the morning West Coast. They're not burying it with the other 10 games like they did the Raiders Bears today. I think the Bucs are this year's Jekyll and Hyde team. Go look at their five games and try to figure out if anything makes sense.

Every year. Well, every year, but especially this year. They're freaking drunk. I have the Panthers by three and a half. Oh, no. You got it wrong. I had the Bucs by two and a half. It's the Bucs by one and a half. That's stupid.

I mean, they're technically a home team. The Bucs are favored by two and a half? Bucs are favored by one and a half. By one and a half? I said two and a half, but yeah. I'm really confused by that. Well, Carolina has a better record. Like I said, in this division also, much like the AFC South, nobody wins two games in a row.

So we got to go by that. Yeah, but who do you think is better? You really think the Bucks are better than the Panthers? This is a neutral site game. The Panthers are... Carolina has the LeBron James. I mean, he's got the best player. They have the best player on the field. Stupid line. I think their defense is good, too. Even if

even like the games today where the Jags are driving down, they did some stuff. It wasn't like they were the 85 Bears, but they can get stops. I don't know. I think they can get pressure and they get stops when they have to. All right. The watchables. Cleveland is home for Seattle. Did you miss Philadelphia, Minnesota? Because that's better than watchable, I think. I have that. I can't-

Do you have it as a watchable? I have it as a watchable. All right. We'll get to it then. That's all right. Want to do it first? Well, I just I don't know. I think you know, these could be division winners. Kirk Cousins can't get a marquee slot

for me anytime soon. And he's going to like that. We'll skip it. What did you have? Seattle Cleveland? No, we can do Vikings Eagles first. I have Minnesota by three over Philly. I have three also, and it's three and a half. Games in Minnesota. Yep.

There, we did it. I have two very similar teams. Well, it's hard because Philly had to do nothing, really nothing to win today. So you want to learn more about a team you couldn't with Philly. Wentz had fewer than 200 yards. They had like 85 yards rushing. I think they had 10 sacks.

And Fulton couldn't wait to give the ball away. It literally was like handing the ball to the Eagles. Yeah, I can't remember if I heard this at the beginning of the game or I read it right before the game, but they were saying how Darnold practiced all week. Yeah. But then they threw this guy in the game as a starter. When I heard that, I was like, well, that sounds dumb.

And then he made like three of the worst plays I've ever seen in my life today. Yeah. Not comfortable at all back there. Yeah. I wonder why. Same thing with the Vikings. They played the Giants. But what do you make of it?

This isn't a loser leaves town match, but this is definitely a, which we'll take one of these two teams seriously after this game. And I don't know which one. It could be either. Yeah. Browns home against the Seattle Seahawks. And we'll learn more about the Browns today. I had the Browns minus one. I had no idea what to do with this.

That's what I did too. Browns minus one. Vegas pushed it to two and a half. This is a really fun game. I mean, I'm excited to watch Brown Seahawks. I think Seattle's fun to watch this year. I like this too. How much stock do you put in the fact that Cleveland's going to play a short week?

Seattle will have 10 days to prepare. Never know what to do with that. The other watchable, I'm just throwing this in there because I love me, uh, men's sanity saints on the road in Jacksonville. And, uh, I have the saints by two and a half. Um,

I had the saints by, I got this right. I had saints by one and a half, but I'll say this. I think we should bet both teams minus 10 and a half on an adjusted spread. This is going to be a blowout. A blowout. Okay.

You're going to get this way wrong. Someone's going to get way wrong. Someone's going to be like, oh, I didn't have to worry about it. I think Jacksonville at this point, I'm looking at it right now. So you have Pats 5-0, KC and Buffalo 4-1. Texans, Ravens, Raiders, and Colts are all 3-2. Jags going 2-4 would start to get tough for them to try to not just catch Houston, but even sneak in as a wild card. Feels like a must win.

Well, no. Houston's probably going to lose this week though, right? Yeah, 2-4. 2-4 is never where you want to be if you're trying to make the playoffs because I think 10-6, 9-7 at worst. So even if 9-7 wins the division or ties, now you have to go 7-3 the rest of the way. I don't know how realistic it is for them.

The barely watchables have two. The Ravens are home against an increasingly awful Cincinnati team. And even though I did not like what I saw from the Ravens, I have the Ravens by 10. You're going to hit that. I went way high because I'm further down on this Bengals team than maybe you are.

The spread's 10.5. I had 13. So you get that one. I don't know. Why is it even 10? Because it's a division game? I mean, Dalton had 22 yards passing at half coming off that even worse Monday start against the Steelers.

Baltimore's defense is not good. That dude came off the bench on Pittsburgh. I had it on one of the small TVs. I never even found out what his name was. What was his name? Who came off the bench? The third string QB for Pittsburgh. Oh, Hodge. What was his? Hodges? Yeah, Hodges. Yeah. Yeah. I just didn't know who it was. It could have been anybody. I thought it was Landry Jones for a little while. I had no idea. And it was never interesting enough to switch over to the big TV. And then I switched over for OT and Tomlin gives away the coin toss. Yeah.

He kicked it away. He had so little confidence in his QB. He's like, man, you suck so much. I'm going to make history. I'm going to be the first person to ever do this. And kicked. We have the new overtime rules. It's so little confidence.

And in a weird way, it worked, but then it backfired because they fumbled in their own territory and they ended up losing. Yeah, there was a lot going on. I mean, that late, that roughing the passer call was really, really bad too. So yeah, it was a bad taste in my mouth. But Baltimore is probably two touchdowns better than Cincinnati. I can't believe how bad. I mean, if you're a fan of a city, of a team, like

who can be less confident in their quarterback than Bengals fans and Andy Dalton right now? You think there's some AJ Green Patriots potential? Oh, interesting. I may or may not have been thinking about it. It was a couple of weeks back, right? I'm not sure. Kyle, can we keep him healthy for three months? No, no. You think he just gets hurt he dick teases us for like four weeks

and then like stress fracture in his left foot Kyle's out Kyle's sour he's burping he's farting you go from brown to green you're going to run the rainbow gamut speaking of the gamut you're Denver Broncos finally on the board with a win really impressive

Bradley Chubbless win against the Chargers it. You're Denver Broncos finally on the board with a win. Really impressive. Yeah. Bradley Chubb-less win against the Chargers. Technically on the road, but it seemed like there were more Broncos fans. You talk about a Ewing theory thing. Yeah, you're right. Bradley Chubb had a Terrence ACL and be gone from the team for that Vic Fangio's defense to show

up. Defense looked good. I have the, of course, you probably didn't bet on them this week. No, this is the one week I stayed away. Unbelievable. Broncos, I have minus four at home over the Titans. You went a little high. I went high also. I said three and a half.

Vegas doesn't trust them as much. Two and a half is the number. Well, we have to take a break. And then I'm so excited for Kendra Roy's poop bed this week. All right. Let's talk about Peloton. If you can't find a workout that keeps you engaged, you probably can't.

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We only have a couple games left. The Poop Factor. Atlanta is in Arizona. This, I haven't looked at the rest of Atlanta's schedule, but this might be the last time Atlanta's favored this season. I have Atlanta by three in Arizona. What do you have? You get it.

It hurt my head to think about this one. It really did. so I said pick I gave up I know it's like giving a 10-10 round in boxing but I said pick it's two Atlanta's a two point favorite so you'll get that one who did you have winning triple G I had triple G

by a point and just for the it was very very close though right yeah I had the other guy by a point but it was one of them should have won by a point. Two of the cards had triple G, 115, 112, which I thought was absolutely ludicrous. Right. But man, that guy was really taking it to him,

the other guy, Chenko. He was good. He comes at you wide, and he split decision Garcia, but at triple G, I was like, oh, he looks old. And I'm like, oh oh he actually really looks old he has gray hair yeah why did he have gray hair well he took he's dying his hair like like a sports anchor i wouldn't have bet him if i knew he had gray hair that guy went to his body a few

times early and it really buckled him and it was like oh triple g's at this point of his career right he's getting buckled by body shots he's he supposed to be, what is he, mid-30s? Late 30s? But we really don't know. He could be 48 for all we know. I just feel bad for him. To come out of those Canelo fights without a win, without a draw, whatever,

it probably just killed his career. I think he's fine. He signed for $350 million or something. He'll be okay. And he's also probably the best guy right now for taking a picture with somebody while having his fists up. I think he's the champion of that right now. Is there an award of that?

Yeah. The other Poop Factor game, your Cowboys, what a time to catch the Jets, right? When Sam Darnold's coming back to save the season. It's in New York or in New Jersey. And I have the Cowboys minus 13. What did you say, 13? Yeah. Yeah, I said 10.

We're both high. It said it's eight and a half. Oh, Sam Darnold. I don't know. Put some respect on that. Now I'm worried about this. Are these same five teams just going to be awful, awful, awful double-digit losses every week? I'm about to hurt your feelings.

Let's hear it. Kyle, mark this spot. Mark this. This feels like a breakout on Twitter. Every year we have the good-bad team. I think Dallas might be the good-bad team this year. What are you talking about? Yeah.

The bad team. I told you it was going to hurt your feelings. You might be the good-bad team. No, they're the bad-good team. Just say you're sorry and reverse that. You're the team that beats up on the bad teams and then against the good teams, either something dumb happens or you didn't have it or you got out coached or, oh man, if this... By the way, be very careful because you have not played anyone yet, Mr. Patriot. Not one good team. Okay. If Dallas isn't a good-bad team this year,

then who's the good-bad team? Because we have one every year. Is it Baltimore? Because Baltimore is the other candidate. The good-bad team or the bad-good team? I thought we called this the bad-good team. No, it's the good-bad team. It's the bad team that's good against all the other bad teams.

Well, why can't it be the Chargers? Because I don't even think they're good. They're two and three. Yeah, I know, they're bad. You're saying they're other bad teams. Well, why can't it be the Chargers? Because I don't even think they're good. They're two and three. Yeah, I know, they're bad. You're saying they're a bad team. Is this the new who's on first? This is so stupid. I'm saying the Cowboys are good

when they play other bad teams. All right. They're the good, bad team. We do this every year. The schedule's been lopsided for a lot of these teams where they've front-ended bad games. Let's see.

Well, but Hey, anyone out there, you can email us at the mailbag at the ringer.com. If you think there's a better candidate for the good, bad team, I don't even understand what we're talking about. I think you might be your team.

Next, next category, new category, just for this one had to remove it from the poop. Fecta. this is a good one. Oh my God. Is what a game.

Kyle, did you know Washington and Miami are playing next week? It's in Miami. And amazingly, Washington might be favored. I have Washington by three. I think they have to be favored. You killed me here. I thought Miami.

I was like, there's no difference between these teams. Miami's home. Make them favored one and a half. Washington is favored by not only three, three and a half. Wow. So I almost hit it. I'm killing you this week. You get that. I'm killing you this week. No, no, no. It's

eight, seven, five, six, seven. I feel mentally, I feel like I'm killing you this week. You probably are. Yeah. I don't know what to do with that game. Although then I looked at Miami, I think they've been outscored 81-0 in the second half. So that's probably a fair line. So if you're Diaper Dan Snyder, do you switch coaches now knowing you're probably going to beat Miami

and then people will credit the coaching change to the thing? Or do you just leak another terrible thing of Jay Gruden that was a photo that's actually from like two and a half years ago? What do you do? How do you handle it? Yeah, and I'll leak it. You leak more? You find another photo of him smoking a doobie if that was him?

Yeah, that's it. Not even doobie. So you don't fire him? Photoshop capabilities. You can go crazy. It's not even pot anymore. So you don't fire Jay Gruden. You keep him?

Nah, just keep him. See what happens. See what happens. I don't know what they're going to do. I don't know what they're going to do.. Nah, just keep him. See what happens. See what happens. I don't know what they're going to do. Quarterback-wise, this team is so lost. It's rough. Colt McCoy was dropping back to pass, and there were two Patriots right there ready to tackle him.

So I don't even know if we could tell if he's any good. Colt McCoy's ruined more than one of my Thanksgivings. So I know. Can't do it to you, though. Your dad's ruined three. Colt McCoy's ruined two. One of your sons has ruined one. Oh, yeah.

My son's ruined at least three. My son is the Colt McCoy of my Thanksgiving. He's ruined at least three. He's only 11. He's definitely ruined three Thanksgivings. Sunday night, the Chargers are home, if you can call it a home, against the reeling, gasping Pittsburgh Steelers. three Thanksgiving's Sunday night. The chargers are home. If you can call it a home against, um, the reeling gasping Pittsburgh Steelers.

And I have the chargers favored by seven. All right. See, I'm back in this. Now I'm tied. I said six. It's five and a half. That's dumb.

It's a dumb line. Yeah. We're tired again. And we tied last week. Yeah. I don't know what to a dumb line. Yeah, we're tied again. We tied last week. We've got one game left. Yeah, I don't know what to make of this. Honestly, I think as far as good-bad teams, it's the Chargers. Well, I'm winning this week because I hit this exactly.

Let's hear it. Monday night at Green Bay, hosting the Lions of Detroit. I'm going to tell you in advance, I'm a half a point off, so good luck. I had the Packers by six. That's exactly what I had. We tied again. We tied again? Jesus. Yeah, six and a half.

Those suck. We didn't talk teasers. You don't like any teasers there, huh? So if your team's going to stay at eight and a half, we might have to jump on that now because you have the good bad team. Well, and let's, let's get the Patriots at 10. I mean, they're not going to, they're real, honestly, they're not going to screw around.

I'll check that out. He'll consider that a loss if they lose, if they don't cover this. Are the chiefs really going to lose two in a row? I don't think so. I don't think the Rams are going to keep losing. Your team is looking tasty. Packers, the the Lions that's funny Matt Patricia

we've made so much fun of Matt Patricia and John Gruden I'm afraid of both of them though yeah thank God the Raiders aren't on the slate this week I didn't even

I'm just terrified Raiders are Colts the Bears the Bills I feel like we could have a good week those are teams that usually kill me

alright I think it's time is it time? yeah it's time for uh could have a good week. Those are teams that usually kill me. All right. I think it's time. Is it time? Yeah, it's time for Parent Corner. Brought to you by CarMax. Buying a used car, it's a big deal. You want to find the right car for your family, along

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whichever comes first. Stop by your local CarMax for written details and discover how easy car buying can be at CarMax. Sal, you have the floor. All right. Well, I have the floor. All right. Well, I actually have two quick things, but one quick thing was I went camping with a bunch of families, fancy camping. And one of the, I don't want to name drop, but Johnny Knoxville was there. And my wife tells me, I asked where my son was, my five-year-old.

And she's like, oh, Knoxville teaching him how to ride a bike. I said, is that a good idea? Knoxville teaching him how to ride a bike i said is that a good idea knoxville's teaching him how to ride a bike jackass yeah i was like i don't know but should uh child protective services just come right here right now don't say that too loud but he has seven of his teeth left so that's that's fine but um not much of a story there but i'll say this earlier in the week we went to smackdown yeah a lot of fun i'm sure we'll talk about in a minute but uh that was on friday on monday night raw i'm sitting my five-year-old down we watch and ray mysterio's in the ring and brock lesnar's throwing him around they keep cutting to ray mysterio's son who's in like the second row and i said you know i said to my, like Harrison, we're probably Friday going to sit in a seat like that pretty close. That'll be good. Right. And he's like, yeah, he's excited. Brock Lesnar then decides after he's done throwing

Ray Mysterio around like a rag doll, comes out of the ring, reaches into the crowd, grabs Ray Mysterio's son and beats the living piss out of him for like 10 minutes. And now my son Harrison is beside himself. He's like in tears. He's biting his knuckles. I was like, don't worry. We'll sit further back. That's going to be fine. So I think I've scarred him for life. That's my story. But then we went and we had a good time, right? Yeah. Part of mine was going to be how we sat next to each other and it was your son. He was losing his wrestling virginity, or his live wrestling show virginity.

And I was with my son, who is now six years older than him, who's a veteran of the process at this point. And it was really fun reliving that first show through your son, because for 25 minutes, they're just catatonic. Yeah, right. They basically look like the cart has to come out and take them off the field. Just deer in the headlights, can't believe it, can't process anything, just glazed over. And then about at the half hour mark, they start to liven up.

And then about an hour and a half in, really start to get into it. But it was funny to hit those checkpoints again. Yeah. And it's like, it's everything you do at home and everything you can't do in school, you get in trouble for. And they're allowing it right in front of our eyes. Guys are beating the hell out of each other in costumes. And daddy and mommy and daddy's friend and his son are enjoying it too.

So they're like, all right, this must be, this is interesting. I forgot about that dynamic of it. So the parent corner I really want to tell was going to get sushi with my son last night after he watched season three of Big Mouth. But I'm not going to tell that because I don't want CarMax to get upset. But it's probably the best one.

Fortunately. Trust me, it's the best one. You ran it by me over text. Yeah. Unfortunately, my son is now working so hot. um unfortunately trust me it's the best one you ran it by me over text yeah unfortunately my unfortunately my son is now working so hot we can't even put the stories in the podcast anymore so uh i should say he he watched season three of big mouth it came out on friday night he got up at 4 30 in the morning the next morning to keep watching it and finished it pretty early on Saturday.

Unclear if he can read, but he finished Big Mouth. This is after SmackDown? Yeah, this is after. He came home that night. He watched two that night and then got up early and banged out the rest. He just loves that show so much. So my daughter, every Friday she has a date with her boyfriend who she's had for almost two months now i've talked about him before he's a really nice kid so i'm watching friday night i'm watching the

dodger game my wife's away and it's probably seven eighth inning and they're upstairs watching a movie and then they come down to watch the game but I could tell she's like pissed off about it. And he sits down, it's like, what's the score? And he just like really wanted to watch the Dodger. He's a huge Dodger fan. Really want to watch the Dodger game. Also like wanting to hang out and watch a game. And my daughter is doing the whole, not really excited about this. She was having much more fun in the room watching a movie that she was choosing. And finally she like leaves and goes to play the piano, ditches him for like 20 minutes, then comes back and she's still got a little bit of an attitude, then goes upstairs for a little

bit. And we kind of had a moment where I was like, yeah, man, women are difficult. I'm like, he's not my friend, even though it's my daughter. And we just kind of had a moment. We had like a bonding moment for like a half hour, watching the Dodger game, kind of complaining about his girlfriend, who happened to be my daughter. So then the next day we're driving to a soccer game and I'm like, hey, you know, you got to take one for the team every once in a while.

I hate to give you advice. I've had a lot of failed relationships over the years, but he's a good kid. He's doing just about everything you want to do. You want to watch the Dodger game for a half hour. You got to take one for the team. So now she's frantic. She's sending him messages.

The game's about 20 minutes away from warmups, and she's worried. She made him upset, and she didn't realize. And they're sorting this out. And I'm like, I'm so finally I'm like, ah, man,

I shouldn't have told you. And she's like, you're right. You shouldn't have. So now she's mad at me and the soccer game's going. So I, I don't know how I got in this. So I don't know how this plays out.

You love it. You had to be, I'm going to tell everybody something like, so we had a chat at the end of SmackDown. I was all right so let's go backstage we could maybe uh there's an area where you wait for your car and it's with the wrestlers if you're on the vip list yeah you know so i was like let's do that that's always fun you're waiting you know you're you're side by side with triple h he's waiting for his you know yeah car to pick him up and you're waiting for his car to pick him up and you're waiting for your Mazda 360. And you're like, nah, I got to go home. I don't know who's supervising my daughter and her boyfriend.

I was like, wow, we wanted to get out of there. Yeah, because it was my mom who's downstairs watching Bill Maher and having her seventh glass of Chardonnay. God knows what's going on. So I was like, there's no way my mom is like, you know, going up every 20 minutes to make sure the doors open, all that stuff. God, Parent Corner is really getting dark. It really is, yeah. It's really tough. Kyle's bummed out.

Yeah. We need these kids to go off to college already. Jesus. Parent corner. This is why Kyle doesn't come over anymore. The other highlight from wrestling was we walked by Becky Lynch backstage in the bottom. And I realized that my son is completely in love with Becky Lynch because he turned maroon. His jaw started going nine different directions

and then our friend KP who is with us yeah was like oh my god that was so adorable you love Becky Lynch he's just maroon but yeah she's she's good looking though she's into it they're good I enjoy the lady wrestler but my

wife was going on and on about Charlotte Flair and the backflip she did into the did basically into three other wrestlers outside the ring. Yeah, I know Becky Lynch is the most successful women's wrestler we've had, but I think Charlotte Flair is the best one. She's fun. She's the best one we've had, right? Who's better than her? I can't even explain to my children about what female wrestlers we grew up with

they were just old cafeteria ladies that were angry Fabulous Moolah she was wearing the one piece and you were just praying nothing came flying out you weren't even concentrated on the wrestling you just wanted the suit to stay on that's why those matches were three and a half minutes long. And you never knew if she was 85 or 50.

Did we ever have a handle on her age? No, no way. Yeah, that was pretty brutal. We had it rough. People have it a lot better now. What do you have to plug? What do I have? Lock it in Monday through Friday at 4.30 to 5.30 Eastern.

If the Chiefs won, I would have been the champ for fifth straight week, but they did not win, so I go on. What else? Oh, Thursday Night Football. I'll have a – you know what? It's an homage to Tom Brady. That's my sports comedy bit on the Thursday Night Football pregame show on Fox. You better not – wait a second.

Huh? Wait a second. I don't like this. No, what? What do you mean homage? I'm talking Wait a second. I don't like this. No, what? What do you mean homage? I'm talking about TB12. I don't like this. No, it feels like you're mocking the goat.

No, no. I don't like this. Be careful. Be careful. The guy's got six rings. I don't see any evidence of that. I've never seen him wear the six rings. By the way, I never finished Parent Corner.

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Yeah, people know that. Yeah, I wanted to make sure. I wanted to remind them. Yeah, that's it. The Thursday night thing's going well. I think so. You haven't fired me yet, but this week I might take a shot at some of the in-studio guys. So we'll see. Might be a different story.

You have to book me in house for for against all odds for NBA futures yes we have to do that I think next week right yeah we're doing so we we have a whole plan

for NBA odds we have me house and Rosillo are going to do over unders one conference on my podcast

one podcast on Rosillo's then me and house are coming on your podcast to do all the futures. But then you should also do some over-under stuff with the trifecta and you also have to replace Harry.

Harry's blown up. He's done? I don't know. Who knows? He's just found all these other people to do gambling media with. These random people he seems to be finding in the street. Yeah, someone paid for a trip. He sat and coached for 14 hours to London. And yeah, he was beside himself.

He was like naked in one of the soccer stadiums or something. I'll have to talk to him. He's getting out of hand. Sal, as always, good job by you. Good job by you. Thanks to ZipRecruiter. Don't forget to go to ZipRecruiter.com slash BS. Thanks to the Rewatchables.

Don't forget about Remember the Titans on Tuesday morning, as well as the last episode of rewatchables 1999 on Luminary, which will be Magnolia. Both of those are coming this week. Thanks to Pepsi. They take NFL celebrations to the next level, whether it's a Hail Mary TD, a defensive stop in the goal line, or even a Superbowl win. When it's time to celebrate. It's time to crack open a Pepsi. You can crack one open and think of Billy White Shoes Johnson, my favorite celebrator in NFL history. Pepsi, the official sponsor of the NFL, reminds you to always be celebrating. We'll be back on Tuesday afternoon with another podcast, a little basketball. It's getting close. There's been preseason games. Taco Fall! Played for the Celtics today. I'm starting to get excited.

Whole bunch of good stuff coming. I love October. Until then. I don't have a few years with them. On the wayside, the first side of the river I'm saying I don't have feelings within