The Bill Simmons Podcast - Minnesota's Miracle and BortlesMania With Cousin Sal (Ep. 314)

Episode Date: January 15, 2018

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss Stefon Diggs's miracle catch in Minnesota (5:00), the Vikings' destiny potential (15:00), the Falcons' poor play-calling (24:00), Mike Tomlin's miscues (30:00), the league's lack of big-name quarterbacks (40:00), Tom Brady defying age limitations (48:00), Jaguars-Pats (52:00), Vikings-Eagles (58:00), and another edition of "Parent Corner" (1:04:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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on Monday nights. We also did a little subtle change. We, Ringer U, because college football season ended and college basketball, that podcast is the one shining podcast hosted by Tay Frazier and Mark Titus. That has its own feed. We turned the Ringer U feed into a feed called Through the Ringer, and that is where we are posting our best of podcasts for sports and culture every week. And we'll be testing out some other pods there as well.

So if you didn't subscribe to that, check it out at least. Through the Ringer is the name of that podcast. Coming up, Cousin Sal. It's not often that we do this and start texting each other and going, man, we actually have to do a podcast right now. I think this is one of those times. But first, Pearl Jim. man, we actually have to do a podcast right now. I think this is one of those times, but first Pro Gym. All right, Cousin Sal is on the line on the emergency podcast hotline.

Tate Frazier in the studio as well. He just recorded his podcast, GM Street, with Mike Lombardi. He's sweaty. He's tired. I'm sweaty. I'm tired. I just had to have a coffee to keep going. Sal, greatest comeback you've ever seen

or biggest choke you've ever seen? First of all, I texted you after the game. I was like, maybe we should do this tonight. And now that we're doing it, I was like, I'm exhausted too. I don't think I've ever been more tired watching a game that didn't involve my own team. I know. And we'd already lost. I had already lost all my bets because of the Steelers the game before.

I was actually driving over here thinking that was probably the best seven and a half hours of football put together from an entertainment, what the hell is happening standpoint, that we've had. I'm sure there's been other Sundays, Saturdays, whatever, but I can't imagine anything was crazier than those two team games combined, right? Right, and it's an amazing, it's a very underrated weekend, sports weekend in general this uh divisional playoffs i can't even speak anymore but um yeah man i uh well i i did something crazy we had our big thing was we had the patriots but we had patriots and steelers

money line parlay right with a couple things yeah and a couple things and then so once i i had a bell out of that and i had to pay a big price to get to Jacksonville in Minnesota on a parlay, and then had Minnesota and the Patriots next week on a parlay. So I had a lot all of a sudden riding on that stupid Minnesota game. I didn't know this. Oh, no. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything. But, yeah, that was what fluffed my hair out. Yeah.

It was really bad. Well, 10 seconds left. How long was the winning touchdown, Tate? 61 yards. So they're on their own 39. I couldn't believe there was nobody behind him. As the play was happening, it almost seemed like there was a

mistake, and then you realize there's nobody left. Even if you did that in a video game, I don't feel like Ben would do that. My 10 year old son, I feel like he would be able to have like some last line of defense. There was nobody. I actually got to say, I think it was actually a bigger choke or not even a choke, just like a mistake, I guess would be the right word. Right. I mean, I can't think of a bigger mistake in a playoff game than that in the NFL. I mean, Sean Payton has to tell these guys,

look, this is what goes on on this play. You keep them in bounds and you don't interfere. Those are two things. And don't go for the pick. Don't go to knock it down. None of that stuff matters. He's in bounds. The game is over.

They have no timeouts. And poor Marcus Williams, he came up with the pick early and then just to blow it on that play is so bad. But I want to give all these teams that won a little credit. I know we crap on the losing teams. Sometimes they're better. But Case Keenum, he had two scoring drives under two minutes. Under two minutes left.

You forget that pass to Thielen to put them in field goal range the first time, even though they left too much time on that, on that drive, that was spectacular. And then just to get them in range the second time, hats off to Case Canem, I have to say. It's a fourth quarter that I definitely want to watch again,

just to re-experience it because it felt like when they screwed up on that Willie Sneed halfback option, I mean, wide receiver option pass. Because before that, the crowd was making the same sound that the Chiefs crowd made in round one when the Titans started to come back. The tortured fan base crowds, when something goes wrong like that, everybody sphincters Titan. And I know that sound because that was the Red Sox for the first 34 years of my life. So you're just watching that and you're thinking, oh, this is going to be bad.

Then they missed that Snead pass. That was a third and one play, by the way. Even though it was wide open, I was like, wow, I can't believe in this situation that's what they're doing. They had a punt, right? You don't run that. I don't think you run that in the last 10 minutes of a game. That's a lot to ask from Willie Sneed. But then Minnesota comes back, and they didn't quite polish them off.

Saints come all the way back down. Even when they were heading toward getting the touchdown, possibly. I'm sorry. Now I'm getting confused. Wait a second. They scored the touchdown. This is why we usually take a day to think things over. No, they scored the touchdown. This is why we usually take a day to think things over. No, they scored the touchdown.

The Vikings come back down. Yeah. And it felt like they were just a little too happy to get that field goal and leave all that time on the clock. Yeah. So then the Saints come back down. And then there was one play that the Natsers didn't even pick up on. They get a first down.

They still need to get a couple more yards for a Lutz field goal. And they throw that little out on Willie Sneed, and he went out of bounds. That wasn't a little out. What, the fourth and ten? No, no, this was after that. Huge conversion. I was after that. That was amazing.

I had Willie Sneed on my fantasy team this year, and I think he had three catches all year. I weighed him probably after week eight. No, after that, after they got the first down, they threw a little out, and he went out of bounds. And the Vikings didn't have to use a timeout. And I remember thinking, oh, that's interesting. Now the Vikings don't have to use all their timeouts.

So they had that one left. They were actually able to use it when they got around the 40. But I just think, you know, what can hurt you at that point when you're the saints like you know the four bath can probably kick like a 60 yarder right so they have to get to the 43 they have to get 20 yards you know the worst worst body language out of any kicker i would say that four bath was not was not confident in him i thought for sure he was going to miss the one before right without they ran the little vikings terrible field goal montage and all that stuff.

It was like, oh, this guy's done. And they did that other thing where Peyton earlier iced him and iced him with a dumb challenge because it was after Case came through and they were trying to make it like he was sacked and out of range, but he clearly wasn't sacked. I'm like, this is terrible. They're icing this kicker for a good six minutes now because of this dumb challenge, and he ended up making it anyway.

Right. So with that little time left, you know they can't go in the middle of the field. What I don't understand is, why don't you just have like four defensive backs on each sideline, and you basically make it so that you have like two or three people that are basically on the sidelines within where you would have to get a field goal but then you have a couple more people back and you just rush

like two or three who cares yeah right what are they gonna do you gotta get that pass off anyway only throw it to the sidelines he has like this little radius on each sideline to throw it all you have to do is just stack people there and people behind them it should be impossible to do anything unless you get a PI. And they definitely should be a deep guy back there. I mean, it just broke down. It's bad for Marcus Williams that he went flying up there in the coverage. But let me know when you want to talk about this extra point

because this was a spectacular gambling moment. Well, I was trying to think of what was a bigger screw-up than williams going for the tackle versus just trying to keep them in bounds or do whatever the only one i could think of was that ravens broncos game from like five years ago which i couldn't remember who caught on the ravens i thought it was tory smith but it was jacoby jones uh i don't know if this was it more was more of the d-back yeah somebody kind of went for the interception and just blew it and went down the sidelines. There was more time in the clock. I think this was bigger for a variety of reasons,

but that was the only other one I could remember from the last 10, 15 years or so. So if anybody can think of other ones that were just like indefensible gaffes at that, I mean, Ernest Biner fumbled. Obviously, it's hard to blame somebody because they fumbled. Like, that can happen. This was like crazy. I felt terrible for him because, you know.

Here's the only thing that maybe could make you feel better about it. As someone who had Vikings money line, and I also had them giving three and a half because I got it early in the week. By the way, four and oh with my picks this week on the ringer. That was great. I'm going to take a lap in my living room here. I mean, the Vikings 3.5 was a little suspicious, but we're giving it to you because you had to put in the picks early. I have to get this to the video crew by Tuesday.

What do you want me to do? I should guess that it's going to be 6 or 5.5. You got a little help there. The only thing I'll say about Marcus Williams is if Diggs catches that and has someone who had the Vikes on the money line, I almost wanted Diggs to catch it and go out of bounds because that's a makeable field goal and less of a horrific ending for the Saints

if he makes like a 42-yard field. He was at the 25-yard line, so if he spins out of bounds or if he gets pushed out of bounds, they still have a chance to win, but not as dramatic as the touchdown. Was that where he cut it? God, how does he get open? He made a move and got to the 25, and they're starting to scream to him to go out of bounds. to win, but not as dramatic as the touchdown. God, how does he get open? He made a move and got to the 25, and I was starting to scream to him to go out of bounds.

Wow. It was weird. I was sitting with my wife, who could care less and knows nothing about football, and she's watching, and she was actually enjoying the drama of the game. My kids were there. My kids were outside playing basketball, and she was going to go out and play with my son and i was like you can go out this game's over

and she's like it's how is it over and i was like it's over like the only way they would they would win is if it's a miracle and she's like oh i'll stay maybe there'll be a miracle i'm like you're crazy and then she stayed and it happened and she's like i told you this is why she she's doing the i told you thing as as digs is running down the sidelines i'm like hold off all right all right you're right you're right it's always nice to witness a miracle it goes you know women but wives husbands they all want to stick around for it but well and the miracle would have been the extra point kicked up well let's really talk about a lot of vikings backers yeah so they have this rule that they always have to kick the extra point now what's weird about this is when you score the winning touchdown,

yeah, with no time in the clock, all rules go out the window. Like, Diggs is throwing his helmet. Case Keenum's throwing his helmet. Everyone's throwing their helmets. Everyone's on the field. None of this is a penalty somehow. Players are getting mic'd up. Chris Myers is running around.

There's 500 people on the field. It couldn't be more over. Yeah. There's 200 people to get off the field. It's like, no, by rule, we have to do the extra pointer. So by rule, Stefan Diggs, he scored the touchdown, and then he threw his helmet in the end zone. By rule, that's 15 yards.

Like, what are you talking about? So then they do it, and I knew they were going to kneel, but it was still goddamn exciting. It really was. Yeah, but let's set it up, because a lot of Vikings backers had minus 5.5 because that line went, it shot up during the week, and at kickoff it went to 5.5. So the score without the extra point is 29-24.

Yeah. I'm watching with a guy who has minus 5.5. He's like, no, they have to kick the extra point. I was like, they have to line up for it, but I'm telling you right now, they're not going to want to rub it in. You thought they weren't rubbing it in either, right? I thought they were kneeling.

Yeah, the only chance they had is if it was what happened 20 years ago with Pete Carroll and the Patriots was one of the nights we realized Pete Carroll was kind of a bozo, although he did turn his career around. When they left the field and then we ran in the two-point and celebrated him for the cover. Right. But then, now they're saying, well, the Saints might not even come out for this.

Like, all right, well, now they have to, Neil. This is ridiculous. Yeah. And then they show the Saints coming out. The poor, miserable Saints are walking out with their helmets off to the two-yard line. And Case Keenum's doing that thing where he's getting the crowd going. He's doing that shark thing or whatever. He's like clapping over his head, and the fans are doing it in unison.

I'm like, oh, my God, is he going to run a play here? What's going on? But they didn't do it. They didn't kick it. And 29-24 final. Phenomenal gambling end and just regular end. So it went to five on Thursday night. It stayed at five basically until when?

When did it go five and a half? This morning? Yeah, it was this morning. Yep. An all-timer. I'm trying to think what I put that game up against for most shocking ending. It's the only thing you would think

is the Music City Miracle, right? And that had lower stakes. Because in this team, it's like the winner goes to play Nick Foles in Philly and is probably going to make the Super Bowl and at least be favored to make the Super Bowl. The stakes weren't the same for Titans-Bills. You know, there's the catch Niners and Cowboys, but there was still time left.

The Cowboys actually had a possession there. I think this is the only playoff game to end on a touchdown, right? Although I stand corrected. The Steelers-J to end on a touchdown, right? Although I stand corrected. The Steelers Jags ended on a touchdown today, too. So, yeah, that can't be right. Well, Pat's Falcons ended on a touchdown, but that was okay. Oh, Pat's Falcons, I'm sorry. Yeah, we've all blocked that out.

I'm sorry. Yeah, when we were growing up in the 70s, the legendary play was the Hail Mary with Staubach and Pearson. Right. But Pearson pushed off, and they didn't call it. And at least the Vikings, well, he did push off. And there was no real GOAT because the GOAT was the fact that they didn't make the call. And then there's immaculate reception and all that.

Immaculate reception, which there was like, there wasn't really a GOAT for that either. The balls got batted backwards. There was no, all of a sudden, Franco Harris is running down the field. He scores. The GOAT was whoever's running the of a sudden, Franco Harris is running down the field. He scores. The GOAT was whoever's running the camera who couldn't give us a shot of if the ball ever hit the ground 50 years later. We still don't know. Right. And then going through the 80s,

Ernest Biner was definitely the biggest GOAT I can remember from the 80s. And that was awful. And it looked like he was running into the end zone and all of a sudden he fumbles. Right. I mean, there's Norwood, there's bad kicks and everything. Norwood and Gary Anderson in the 90s, right? Right.

As far as touchdowns go, though, that was something else. Yeah, this might have been the number one. And dramatic, dramatic playoff implications. Not just at the Final Four change, but, you know, as a Red Sox fan, I'm concerned now because I've, the Red Sox are not going to get anywhere in this playoff. I'm going to bring this home. I'm going to land this plane. You just get ready for this one. Okay.

And I've written this and I really do believe it that when you, when you have the stink on you as a franchise and the fans have the stink and people get in that mode of i just think the worst thing is going to happen at all times and you can feel the vikings kind of the fan their fans kind of you can feel that energy in the stadium you need like that robert steel improbable beating the yankees twice in 24 hours in fenway going back to yankee stadium and all of a sudden you're improbably confident you You need some sort of crazy thing to flip it, something that's almost supernatural.

And it feels like that happened for the Vikings today. Now I'm scared. I don't want to see them in the Super Bowl. I need Nick Foles to beat them. I don't want them to be the team of destiny now that their whole fortune changed on a freaking 61-yard miracle play. That's the team I don't want to play. I wasn't scared of any of these teams until that play.

I'm watching Minnesota. They're a great defense. Oh, my God, their defense. Breeze shredded their defense. And then Jaguars, same thing. Oh, that D.O. They gave up 42 points. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. And we'll talk about that game, too. But, well, first of all, I'm not going to talk you out of it. You should be scared. This team's good. This Vikings team is good. They create some bad matchups.

And I think, like, I wouldn't even – he almost can't even look at the quarterback anymore. Like, sure, you're going to want to favor Brady over anyone, but these guys don't have to do a ton to win the game. And, by the way, Case Keenum did a lot. He did – what was he, 25 for 40, 318? If you get these guys to throw one interception, I had a prop in Bovada. They gave me my own prop thing.

Foles, Bortles, and Mariota over under four and a half interceptions this week. Zero. They had zero of those three. And that's why two of those three are advancing to the final four. It's a weird game plan that these guys put in place, and it's working for some of them.

I thought the Saints, I picked the Saints plus five, and I really kind of felt like they were the best NFC team. And I didn't know if that meant they were going to win the Minnesota game. I thought it was going to be a three-pointer back and forth. But as the game unfolded, especially in the second half, once they got kind of their sea legs and figured out the speed of the Vikings and all that stuff, it just seemed like they were better.

I don't know. I saw the Vikings. It seemed like every driver, defensive player was going off. Then Dejo, who hauled in a Hall of Fame interception in the first half. Like, you're not going to see anything better than that. And then Newman went out, and Rhodes went out. He was in the concussion tent, came right out. Rhodes, yeah, they're like, Rhodes, you're good.

That was it. What's two plus two? It's four. All right, you're good. Go back in. Yeah, take a shrimp cocktail. I want to see what goes on in that concussion tent. Oh, my gosh.

I don't see it as a lot, but he came back in. But, yeah, I mean, you knew they were going to score points. They had seven points with a minute 13 left in the third, right? They shredded the Vikings in the second half. The Jaguars got shredded. The Eagles, I thought, I'm not even

going to say my team has the most impressive defensive performance because once that game got out of hand and the Titans were kind of pigeonholed having to throw, knew they were done the eagles defense was was excellent absolutely and you know we haven't done the lines we're going to do the lines in a little bit but i kind of like the eagles again i like that no i think they're in nobody believes in a zone again let's discuss that game for a second. But nobody believes in it. This is a weird thing because they both played into each other's hands.

If I would have told you JGI would have 54 yards rushing, Blount would have 19 yards rushing, the Eagles would have 15 points, would you have anything left? Would you have mortgaged anything? That's Atlanta's game, right? What about the four fumbles? Yeah, and the fumbles. And the Falcons just keep benefiting off of punt return fumbles,

which is out of nowhere. I was trying not to snap on Twitter because we had a bet that I loved that I was really proud of that, of course, the Steelers screwed up. But it was basically the Eagles and the under with the Steelers' money line and the pats money line which i easily just could have gone against today by taking jags plus seven half but as anyone who's listening to this podcast know i'm an idiot and uh the uh the eagles like that first half i was gonna snap i got one of my new year's resolutions was don't snap on twitter during a game that's not going your way. After they got their third kick return fumble inside the other team's 30 in three halves,

I almost lost it. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? This team, how many fumbles are they going to get? They were like seven to nothing on fumbles and interceptions after three halves. And it finally flipped. When the Eagles went from plus three to plus two and a half, I think we were texting, and you're like,

what do you think? I was like, I think this is going to be really, really embarrassing if the Nick Foles shows up that I'm worried will show up. The one that couldn't score against the Raiders on that Christmas night and the one that wasn't even close to scoring against the Cowboys in the meaningless game. This is bad that we're not

even going to lay the two and a half and win. But I thought Foles, I thought we had like a one interception cushion with him. Yeah. And luckily he didn't give it up because these fumble punts were atrocious. Yeah. Really almost didn't mean it. Well, he threw an interception off somebody's knee that bounced right to his receiver. It was the biggest play of the half for him.

Yeah. Their defense was good. Atlanta was who we thought they were, which was a team that at the worst possible time was going to get sloppy and poorly coached and make dumb decisions. That was the team I thought I was gambling against last week. They threw everyone off their scent, and then they stuck it to everybody in Philly. And they did all the shit we watched them do all year,

culminating in fourth and two, the Eagles calling out that they're going to run the rollout play on defense and then bragging about it after the game. We knew the rollout was coming. Rollout comes. They have it covered perfectly. It's a complete disaster. And the Falcons should be ashamed of themselves.

Well, yeah, Sarkeesian for sure ought to be ashamed of himself for taking this offense and dumping it in the toilet the whole season. Ten points. I don't know. I know you're going to hate this, but I was on a text with the Parley kid. I was talking to him. He hated that rollout play also because it cuts off two-thirds of the field.

I think if Jones doesn't fall, that throw is made to the pylon, and he either catches it or that's a P.I. call somewhere in there, and that worked. I mean, he's got to get the ball two of the last four plays, right? Yeah. So I didn't really mind it too much. I shouldn't be able to be on my couch and predict what's going to happen with your offense.

Yeah, I know. And that was why I didn't want to bet them last week in the Rams game. It's like I can sit on the couch and know when they're running and throwing. They mixed it up a little. This will make you feel better about your take and about mine. Out of 18 red zone attempts to Julio Jones, guess how many were complete this year? Well, he didn't have a lot of touchdowns, so I'm going to say low. I'm going to say two.

I guess you can guess that, yeah. One for 18. Wow. One for 18. So maybe it was the wrong call, but I don't think a draw to Freeman is the right call there. That was just a mess. They shouldn't have been in that spot, Atlanta.

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It's time to let Meandys change yours. Go to meandys.com slash BS right now. I thought Nick Foles was half decent in that game. How about that? Yeah, he was. He was half decent. What was he, 23 for 30, 246, no picks? You can't ask for more out of him, right?

Yeah, I read some stuff over the weekend that made me feel, I don't want to say made me feel better about Nick Foles, but at least made sense that when you have basically three weeks to practice with the first string against the other team's first string, Foles, but at least made sense that when you have basically three weeks to practice with the first string against the other team's first string, and it's three solid weeks of reps, obviously he's going to be better than he was in that Week 16 Dallas game. It made sense. So I went into that game thinking, I thought positive thoughts for Nick Foles.

And then by the second quarter, they were not as positive. Well, speaking of the second quarter, and not as positive well let me speaking of the second quarter and this will dovetail into our patriots titans uh breakdown which was a more egregious one second left on the clock before half philadelphia or new england well you know what they mike perera said on twitter i think that they use out of town people for those i heard that that they don't use the hometowners. They do it for the regular season, not the playoffs. But really?

Yeah. So out-of-town people are running that clock in the stadium. What a world we live in. First of all, America, bathe me in your patriot hate. We inject it into our veins. We don't care. I loved when people, including people texting me that I'm friends with, were texting me in the first half like, man, you're getting every call. It's like, we're going to win by 28 points.

What are you guys talking about? Getting every call. Okay. Well, here's what we're talking about. You have 40 real-time minutes to beat the Patriots. And I'm not talking 7-0 after the first quarter. You have to beat them. You have to beat the refs.

You have to beat Belichick. You have to beat the crowd. And if you can't do it and 7-0 isn't good enough, you're just going home. You're going to get slaughtered. And that to beat them. You have to beat the refs. You have to beat Belichick. You have to beat the crowd. And if you can't do it and 7-0 isn't good enough, you're just going home. You're going to get slaughtered. And that's what happened. But I did think, like, they... I didn't think they got that call with the second because I think that the idiot, the defender for the

Titans, why tackle him there? Who caught that ball with one second? I don't even remember. It was Amandola and they shouldn't have gone near him and the clock would have run out. Yeah, just don't touch him. Only't have gone near him, and the clock would have run out. Yeah, just don't touch him. Or wait three seconds and touch him. But the Eagles won, which is interesting for gambling implications.

Philly was plus one and a half at half, and then they kicked that field goal. So that was really big. That was a close one. That maybe they could have let run off, I thought. We saw so much dumb shit this weekend. Yeah, we did. And then the last play of the last game trumped all of it, but the Steelers, one of

those fourth and one calls, I guess they tried to run it up the middle and the guy just got stuffed. The other one was horrible. They were in the sweep. That was big. What was it, 14-0 when they were in the sweep on fourth and one? How did they not have a quarterback sneak?

You got a 270-pound action figure as a quarterback. You have no sneak play in there to get six inches? Oh, I'm remembering this one. The sweep was one. That was terrible. And then the other one was the play action to the tight end, right? And it got broken up. That was the other one.

But, yeah, they – No, there was a play action. They went deeper than... So there are three routes there. There's the tight end route that should be six yards. There's the intermediary route, which they threw to, which is incomplete. And then there's the deep one. I don't even think you bother with the second one.

I think it's either short or hit the end zone there. They were... First of all, Roethlisberger was kind of amazing in that game. Yeah, his were... All game. Yeah, all right. No, listen, I don't think he played that great, but he also had like four of the most amazing throws of his career in that game. And the play when he threw the ball backwards after he was over the line of scrimmage.

Yeah, that was great. I'm pretty sure I've never seen that before. Have you ever seen that before? That was spectacular. He's doing weird things. When he runs with the ball, he always looked, he literally turns his head and looks backwards when he's running with the ball. It's strange.

The two touchdown throws to Brown were outrageous. The throw at the end of the second quarter. The bell, the bell was a spectacular, I mean, those were great, great catches that could be dropped under any circumstance. And then, and then other times, you know, he's totally casual with the ball with five people around him. He's all over the place. And them botching the last minute of the game with the Madden video game scenario was unforgivable. Hilarious.

Unforgivable. Yeah. Once they get the intentional grounding, you don't even run another play. Kick a field goal. You have 40 seconds left. Kick a field goal. You have 40 seconds left. Kick the field goal at some point. Field goal onside. Do it.

What are you doing? Why are you trying to ram it in from the 15? Kick the field goal. It's over. Right. And then they throw it to Brown, and he doesn't even get out of bounds, and it was like they wanted to get out of there.

I joked on Twitter about trying to find odds for Mike Tomlin to join the Monday Night Football show and replace Gruden next year. Yeah. It was kind of a half joke. Tomlin, I think it's a good joke, and he could have Haley join him too. Because those guys, you know, there's no coming back from getting beat by Blake Bortles twice in your home stadium.

It really is rough. And you don't want to say that we're looking ahead to the Patriots, but my God, that first drive for Jacksonville. And again, I'm going to give them credit. I'm going to give them more credit than you are. Going for fourth and goal from the two. They were great. I loved it. Going for it.

I loved it. That was great. A great call. And Fournette dives, I think like, it always looks like he dives, like, three yards too early. Yeah. But he got in, and what a message that sent. They went up 7-0. And I think, like, everyone's going to say that defense got torched.

That was all garbage. I mean, it was all garbage time. From two minutes left in the first quarter on, it was all garbage time. Well, they did give up. It was 58 times. They gave up over 500 yards, though. If their defense was that good. It was 58 times 500 yards, though. If their defense was that good. They went through 58 times.

I know, but if their defense was that good, the game should have been 35-7. They were getting free points. I feel like they made big plays when they had to. They did. I mean, you got that Calvin Smith at 16 tackles. That's insane. Some ballers on defense. I think they have a good defense.

I watched them get shredded by the Niners in Week 16, and they gave up 44 points, although some of that was Bortles' fault. And they gave up 42 points today, and then there were two fourths and ones too. The Steelers legitimately could have had over 50 points in that game. Now, the thing to feel good about if you're the Jags is how good your offense was and how confident Bortles seemed. Was he confident because there was no pass rush the entire game and he just got super comfortable?

Or is he getting more confident? What do you think? I don't think he's scared. That's a weird thing about this game. They're not scared. They're not scared to go into Pittsburgh and win. He did exactly what he needed to do. He was like 14 for 26.

I know he had a stretch where he was like 13 attempts at like 30 yards or something. But 14 for 26, 2-14. Eight for 14 on third down, one for one on fourth down. That's pretty solid for him. He was great on that first drive. He had a couple big third down like swing pass pass screen pass plays that he just threw it in the perfect spot which you know last week i think he would have sailed one of those over the guy said last week you were on this podcast joking about how there were five or six throws that he

made where you would have wondered if he was left-handed or right-handed yeah first quarter second yeah that that was not happening the throw the long pass to Marquise Lee. On first down. That was great. He hit the tight end a couple times. I don't know. I thought I'd give him like a B- for that game, maybe even a B. Oh, yeah, you got to give him a B. No turnovers.

Going in there. You can't turn it over. You can't get less than a B if you don't turn the ball over in that situation. With that said, I was shocked by just how horrendous Pittsburgh's defense was and how few difference makers they were and how slow they seemed and how they didn't account for Bortles and the fact that he could scramble really until like midway through the second quarter. Right.

And he killed them on a couple scrambles when it was like, that's all he did last week. But we were talking on the ringer slack about trying to figure out how many above-average guys their defense had, and it was basically between three or four with Shazier out, whether you think if Joe Hayden is an above-average number one cornerback or not. And I don't know enough about that. I don't think he is. They just had a lot of stiffs out there,

and it's hard for me to believe they couldn't use James Harrison, who played a lot on Saturday for the Pats. Yeah, that's true. Oh, get that out there. They'll love that. The Steelers fans will love that. I didn't even think of that. By the way, thanks for James Harrison.

It's great to have him on the team. He's like our third biggest guy. You know, we didn't mention Fournette. Another super game. He had 109 yards. He was good, yeah. Three touchdowns. He was very good in that game. He had 109 yards. He was good, yeah. Three touchdowns. He was very good in that game.

He had 109 plus 400. He had 509 yards if you count the distance they made him walk to the locker room on a busted ankle. I was like, what is going on? Get my moped or something. And he has to walk back too? Are you kidding me?

Yeah. He's going to get winded doing this. TJ Yeldon, I think everybody in the world has had TJ Yeldon on their fantasy team for two weeks Tate have you had him? everyone's had him he's never been good and now he actually seems like he's pretty competent

Shreem knows where the first down marker is I have more Jags praise for you I think their coach is really good yeah you don't have a lot of he's solid I have more Jags praise for you I think their coach is really good you know you don't have a lot of head-scratching moments in Jags games and for the most part

their guys are in the right place doing the right things he called a good game you know whose coach isn't good this is the last game the Titans coach you can be excited all you want about that Chiefs win, but you just got your coach an extension. And I think he just did sign an extension tonight.

Wow. Milwaukee. And there you go. Three years or whatever it is with him. I hope it was worth it. Yeah, they were. What a mess. This Pats team, you know, they play possum to some degree.

We only throw to Gronk when we have to. They only do that spread the field. Brady calls all the plays at the line of scrimmage when they have to. And whenever they do that, they're completely unstoppable. But during the regular season, they really didn't do it that much. They didn't feel like they needed to. The regular season, I think, was a lot of just try to get through the year. And when they do that that and Brady's locked

in and Lewis is playing like that and they have all the receivers it's pretty unstoppable and I think they're going to be able to do it to Jacksonville I really do you were nervous admit it 7-0 Mariota's running I wasn't

the mobile quarterback do you have trouble against the't, I wasn't a mobile quarterback. You have trouble against the mobile quarterback. I was so not nervous. No, no. In fact, our buddy Hench was nervous. You showed me the text.

I, for today, I saw him today. He's bragging. He's like, Oh, seven straight final fours. I was like, you were,

you needed a whole new set of me on these. After, according to that text exchange, what was he saying? Well, it's going to be a miserable three hours and all that. Well, Hench, listen, part of the magic with the Pats is Hench's reverse jinx text, which he kind of half believes.

But his first text was, after the Pats got knocked out of their first drive, he texts me, two bounce passes on third down for the dead arm. That was his first text in the game? The dead arm. This is going to be a long, sad three hours. Malcolm Butler made one play in his career, and then all of a sudden it flipped.

But that's what he does, and that's our little dance that we do on texting. Hench Vance. Hench is like the sky is falling guy, but he deep down knows that we weren't going to be scared of Mike Belanke. You guys. And your dad, too. You guys are okay that Brandon Bolden played? I was worried about you. You guys are very...

Another inconsequential player that stepped up. Listen, it's a machine, man. It's like what Seth Meyers used to say about SNL, like the lauren michaels infrastructure like you just gotta trust the infrastructure it's year 17 saturday night i think i don't think we've ever lost a have we lost a saturday night playoff game yeah it's weird

because then you get the extra day right because now you're playing you get a little more rest no i don't think you lost that in that game. And now the three quarterbacks left are Case Keenum, Blake Bortles, and Nick Foles. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That makes me feel good.

I would think so. Except you don't want to see Keenum in the finals. Well, I don't want to see that Vikings team now. I need the Eagles to take care of the Vikings next week.

It was interesting. I know, for some reason, I know a lot of Eagles fans. And none of them really knew who to root for in that game. Because at some point, I felt the same way about Jags-Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh's defense is so bad that as I was watching that game, and I think the Pats can beat either of those teams, but I'm watching the game going, I don't even really know who I want to play. Pats are going to score 40 points on this defense.

I think if you're the Eagles, though, if you're an Eagles fan, you're looking at the Vikings-Saints game and saying, okay, where's our weakness? It's still quarterback. It really is. And who is more likely to expose that weakness? It's got to be the Vikings, right? It's got to be just the style they play. I guess, but if they're going to win in Philly,

it has to be another one of those games, those 12-10, 15-10. Yeah, it's still a tough game. It really is. 13-10 type games, and I think when you play the Saints, you know they're getting the 20 points. Right. I don't know if Minnesota... It's weird. I've watched Minnesota a lot

and I've never really totally bought in and their fans get upset. It's like it's nothing personal. The part I've never been able to get past is it's always kind of surprising when something great happens

for them offensively. You know? But I think I just underrate their two wide receivers. You can't anymore. I mean, Thielen and Diggs could be all pros. Diggs is the one that I think I need to just come to grips with the fact that he's excellent.

Well, he's a burner. They haven't had speedsters like that who could create havoc down the field. God, I can't believe they won that game. I can't believe it. I know. I know. It's now 7.43 West Coast time. When did that game. I can't believe it. I know. I know. It's now 7.43 West Coast time. When did that game end?

Two and a half hours ago? Yeah, I know. I can't believe it. Same way. Tate, I don't want to step on the GM Street podcast. Was that the craziest football game ending you've seen? I don't know. I thought Jacoby Jones was crazier in the moment because I just thought the Ravens had no chance.

But it was pretty wild. Yeah. That was a Denver was probably a, what were they? A seven or eight point favorite in that game? I can't remember what round was that though? That was divisional. That was sec. We watched that at Shakey's. Was that, it had to be a second round. Denver had a buy there, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the Pats, the Pats then lost to Baltimore the next week. Yep. And then Baltimore went to the Super Bowl in Harbaugh.

That was the year Flacco won. Yeah, that was basically... That's why football is so crazy. And we say this every year, but every year there's between five and seven teams that can win the Super Bowl. And it really does some years come down to these stupid freaking plays.

Well, if I would have found you a a bet that said um rogers uh cam i'm gonna forget people ryan um roethlisberger like they're like seven big breeze there's like seven big name quarterbacks none of them would be in the super bowl you would never take it right right ever in a Ever. In a million years. Gus? My buddy Gus, Broncos fan, was making fun of me today. He's like, your road to the Super Bowl is going to be Mariota,

Bortles, and Foles. This is like, you shouldn't even raise a banner for this. And I'm like, Brad was saying the same thing. He's like, do they even give them a trophy this year? They don't give them a trophy, right? They get nothing. I have news for everybody. If the Patriots win, we'll be raising the banner.

There's going to be no asterisk on that banner. And we'll be holding the trophy proudly. But wouldn't it be fun if Goodell had to give the trophy to a Muslim owner? I just think that would be great. Who hates Trump. Yeah. I think that would be fun. The other fun? Yeah. I think that would be fun.

The other fun part with this Jags thing is a friend of the BS podcast, Michael Schur, his show The Good Place, has made the Jags like a running kind of gag the whole year. We wrote about it in The Ringer today. And he's a huge Pats fan. And now it's actually good for his show for the Jaguars to keep going because it's becoming like a national storyline. Right, yeah. So I don't know where he stands.

I don't know what I would root for, my TV show that I created from scratch or the team I've rooted for my whole life. I don't know what the answer is to that. I know what you would do. You would root for the Cowboys. What, I'd root for the TV show? No, you'd root for the Cowboys. Would I root for the TV show? No, you'd root for the Cowboys over Jimmy Kimmel Live at gunpoint. No, no, no.

No, you would. You'd be like, ah, we've been on for 15 years. No, I couldn't do it. We're good. I couldn't do it. I heard you were bad-mouthing Romo yesterday. What's your problem with Romo now? What?

Someone said you didn't like something, you didn't like Romo. What, did he be screwed up a call? What did you, someone said something. Oh, how? Did you tweet it or not? How dare? I don't know who would say such a thing. I had to restrain myself from tweeting today as Troy Aikman went through three hours of his voice never raising and making points like,

Big drive here. Joe, this is a big third and 12 here for them. I have to fight off the urge to tweet about just getting Romo in on Skype. I thought maybe it was because at the end of the game, he was saying, I think Dan asked him, and he was like, I think Steelers win

by two. He could have been more or less picking the Jaguars. And he said, you know, people are going to laugh, but the Jaguars create a lot of bad matchups defensively for New England. So I thought that's what you were all over him for. No, listen, I have news for Tony Romo. As much as I respect his in-game observations, whatever he says at the beginning of the game, it's usually a good idea to bet the opposite.

You can pass that along to Romo. Like he said this Titans game, oh, what a tough matchup. Jim, I'm telling you, it's going to be a game. It's like, okay, can you wake me up when it's 35-7 and can we replay these comments of Tony Romo? Do you understand he's got to keep eyeballs on that? People can't change a channel in the first quarter. That's what that is.

That's all that is. Quick break to talk about Gillette. I've been shaving since college. How long have you been shaving, Sal? the last uh three or four months really no it's uh yeah since college is right yeah well gillette fusion ultra sensitive skin shaving gel i don't know what year that came out but it's been great because i used to get those stupid nexus and now i don't i don't know what they put in that magical formula but it works for me. Recently I started using the Gillette Fusion Pro Shield Razor. I ordered it. I got four refillable razors and free shipping then every fourth order free because I subscribed and I

subscribed for selfish reasons because the stadium the Patriots play in is Gillette Stadium home of potentially the sixth banner. Now you can get Gillette Performance delivered to your door. No more getting mad at yourself because you just got back from the grocery store and realized you forgot to buy blades. No worse feeling than that. I mean, there's a lot of worse feelings than that, but it's a bad feeling. Subscribe today. Pick your favorite razor.

Get every fourth order free. All you have to do is visit Gillette online at GilletteOnDemand.com. Gillette with two L's and two T online at GilletteOnDemand.com. Gillette with two L's and two T's. GilletteOnDemand.com. Yeah, Romo, he shifted into praise Brady mode around the second quarter. And I thought even though Brady looked a little shaky at the beginning and I was super worried because of the cold weather, old guys in cold weather, you have all those thoughts.

And I admitted on Twitter I was on a couple text threads. My dad was very concerned. And then he looked fine. And then he was flinging the ball, and he had a couple really great throws as that game went along, so I feel a little better about that. You don't sense that he's playing in zero degree weather when you really take that for granted but um i guess you're you're probably happy that you have the early game this week right yeah i think that helps us it's funny though he's

been in so many of these games that you watch him in the way he operates on the sidelines when like the camera shows him and stuff and you know he's just even the even the little stuff, like he's got, he's sitting on the bench with that super warm jacket. That looks awesome to wear. I want to wear one of those jackets for that. It's gotta be like a fire retardant suit and it'll go to commercial and any other quarterback gets up and starts throwing and he just sits there. He's like, I'm TV commercial. I probably have about two and a half more minutes here. And he just sits there and zones out. And it's like, he's,

I heard him talk about the super bowl how he he knows because he's been in that game so many times now that you almost have to the pace of it is it's almost like two different games so you can't get too hyped before the game for the first half because there's so much dead time at halftime you can crash and that's the kind of stuff like when you get to this point versus like Bortles and Foles and Keenum I think that's a pretty big advantage so do you think his goal at this point because how many Super Bowls you're going to win his goal at this point is to beat Jimmy Garoppolo in the in Super Bowl to hang around long enough to beat Jimmy yeah yeah Jimmy get there in the next two and a half years or three years, and then I'll be here.

I think he's one of those dudes that just thinks about the next day. Yeah. I'm going to do this. I'm going to go to bed at 830. I'm going to wake up tomorrow. I'm going to go to TB12. I'm going to eat avocados. I think he's like a machine.

I don't even think he thinks ahead. I think he's just like, I'm going to keep winning. He's a machine with kale pajamas. I don't know how he does it. Let's do some lines. Let's do it. Two left. It's just like, I'm going to keep winning. He's a machine with kale pajamas. I don't know how he does it. Let's do some lines. Let's do it. Two left. It's getting sad, huh? Three games left. I don't know how this happened.

You know, I was thinking about you during the Pro Bowl ad that they were running about the Pro Bowl in Orlando, and I was thinking about how you're the only person I know who gambles in the Pro Bowl. Oh, you have to. And I was thinking about how sad this is when you go sad. You go

in a little swoon, but at least Jimmy's hosting the Oscars this year so you can shift your focus. That's true. That's true. Yeah, I just feel like, you know, I definitely feel like I need to bet more when there's three games left or seven games left, right? And that doesn't usually work out. But we'll see.

Well, I'd like to thank the Steelers for ruining all my bets this week and I learned a valuable lesson Sal don't throw a lot of teams in playoff teasers because you never know, one of them could sink all your bets well was it because too many people wanted

New England Pittsburgh, that it didn't happen just like too many people would have wanted Brady and Breeze in the finals, and it didn't happen. Well, one of my manifesto rules is don't overreact to how good somebody looked the previous week. I actually think I should tweak that, too. Don't overreact to how bad somebody looked the last week, either,

if they advance. Absolutely. Jacksonville was so bad last week. I was just like, Pittsburgh's going to score 30 points in them and there's no way the Jaguars will be able to match. And they did. I also think we might have... Pittsburgh played well in Week 15

against the Pats. Other than that, they really didn't play... I don't think they played a top 10 team for the last three months. Well, one thing I thought of is these bye weeks always hurt at least one team. Always hurt one team. They're going to come out flat offensively,

and that was for sure the Steelers this week. So they made us pay. The fact that they beat them, I do think that matters when you've had success because I think that was the same thing for the Titans and the Chiefs because the Titans had won there last year. That is something we should monitor. We stupidly use that to our advantage. Oh, they beat them there.

It's like, oh, they're not going to do it again. And Tomlin's not going to look ahead. It's like, oh, no, they beat them there. They're not afraid to beat them there. I discounted it because it was the first five weeks of the season. But it does give you a little edge. You're in the locker room. Nobody thinks we should be here here we already won in this place

you do that whole thing alright so Jacksonville at New England 305 Eastern Sunday we both said 9 for this both said 9 it's opened at 9.5 open at 9.5

oh I thought we were going to nail that one yeah some books have 9 and a half. Open at nine and a half? Oh, I thought we were going to nail that one. Yeah. Some books have nine, and a lot have nine and a half. I don't know what to do with Bortles anymore. I've incorrectly picked his game for two straight weeks after saying all year that I couldn't wait to go against Bortles in the playoffs.

And now he's thwarting... Although we did win money on him last week somehow, but he's been thwarting picks and bets left and right. Is Tom Coughlin at all, when you write your column on Friday, is he going to even be mentioned other than, oh, everyone's saying Tom Coughlin's going to make a difference? Is that jump in your head, him in the tough front four,

and then he has it again with Jacksonville? I mean, he's going to have about as much impact on the game as my dad is. Is he just sitting in the media box? All right. What is he doing for them exactly? It just seems like he gives them speeches. I don't know what he's doing for them, but they're in the freaking conference championship game.

He's the president. He's the president, but what does that mean? Is he picking players? I think he was in the box today trying to calm all the Jags people down. They said they were all celebrating after the first quarter, and Tom Coughlin was telling everyone to sit down. The game wasn't over. So that's his job, just to keep them humble.

That's great. Thank God he's there. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they're going to show. There's a recipe for beating the Pats. We know what it is. You cut the game down and you rush Brady with four up the middle, make him get out of the pocket

and limit the possessions. And we saw it. Sanchez and the Jets did it. The Ravens did it that year and the Giants did it twice. We know how to beat the Pats. So forget about Coughlin. You're more afraid of Fournette

or the defense pressuring Brady? Is it okay if I'm not afraid of the Jags? I'm not saying we can't lose to them, but we're nine and a half point favorites. If we lose this game, it's catastrophic. Pittsburgh was seven and a half. They're good.

They don't take shit from anyone. Patriots are better than Pittsburgh, though. Come on. No, they are. It is different. Going into Foxborough is different than going into West. Did you think Brown was, how healthy did you think Brown was in that game? When it started?

The whole game. I thought he was fine. No, you didn't like it? You didn't think he was? I thought he was like 65%. What'd you think, Tony? Oh, really? I mean, he made some amazing plays, but it was sporadic. He didn't have separation. Did you notice that?

Yeah. I thought he gutted it out, and I think we're going to find out he had a torn quad or something after this. Wasn't it one of his top three games this year? I don't know. It was. It seems like that's how it was. Yeah.

But it was because he made two incredible catches with guys draped all over him. He didn't have the explosiveness, and I wonder if he had been 100% for that game, maybe that swings one of those 4-1s. I don't know. You got a good corner on you the whole game. It's tough. We have Gronk, I think, the healthiest he's ever been for a title game.

Does he? Yeah. It seems like he's just flying around. I don't know. Gronk to score and the Pats to win will be even. So you bet that. That was one of your big bets this week. Yeah.

Gronk was minus 150 for the TD. Mm-hmm. And then the Pats, you parlayed them together? No, it's a prop. You can find the prop. Gronk to score and the Pats to win was minus 137. It went to minus 150. Congratulations on that one. Thank you. You could find the prop. The Gronk to score and the Pats to win was minus 137. It went to minus 150.

Congratulations on that one. Thank you. Thank you. There are a lot of winning things out there. I'm not a part of a lot of them, but that's one. Can I parlay the Pats money line with Romo giving a big speech at the beginning of the game about how dangerous the Jags are for the New England? You did badmouth. I knew you did. What? you see, you did. You did badmouth him. I knew you did.

What? I knew you did. I didn't badmouth him. I made fun of him. He's trying to make a case that Mike Malarkey and Marcus Mariota are going to beat the Patriots. Get the fuck out of here. What are you talking about? Well, listen, maybe he thought when it was 14-7 and the Patriots were about to punt and

it was a false start, but the refs got together and were like, whoa, this is way too close for this late in the game. Let's make it offside instead of false start. Maybe he thought something like that wouldn't happen, or maybe he thought the push-off on Decker, which I've never seen that called before. That wasn't going to happen. I don't know.

This is the best. One second left. The league ran a whole deflate gate thing that all of the physics to it was proven incorrect. All of it. We lost the first round pick and our quarterback got suspended four games. And now the league's on our side. What does that have to do with a false start?

I'm just telling you what happened yesterday. Now the league's on our side with officiating. Get the F out of here. What are people talking about? The Patriots got railroaded. Railroaded. He should be in jail.. He should be in jail. Tom Brady should be in jail.

You know it. Do you think, were you expecting a deflating type of controversy after yesterday's game because it was so cold? The Titans could have played that card, right? I guess so. I don't know what they, I think they were just happy to go home. But, yeah, like I said, you can't, you have very little time to beat up on the Patriots. Otherwise, they make you pay.

No, this run's going to end soon. Everybody's going to miss the Pats when there's no bully left. Mm-hmm. No? Okay. No, I agree. No, it's amazing. It is, see, I don't want to kiss your ass now, but.

I didn't do anything. I just root for them. Seven final fours. They talk about, like, Izzo, Tate, get's amazing. It is. See, I don't want to kiss your ass now, but. I didn't do anything. I just root for them. Seven Final Fours. They talk about like, Izzo, Tate, get in this. Like, Michigan State coach making the Final Four. You go seven in a row. That's just insane. Just insane numbers.

For the first 31 years of my life, they made two Final Fours. Yeah. Now, maybe the Dolphins, Bills, and Jets should secede from the league as a result. So I've heard this argument, too. And you get to play the Mariotta in Round 2. The reason they got to play Mariotta

in Round 2 is because they beat Pittsburgh's ass in Week 15 and came back and stuck it to them. And if Pittsburgh took care of business, they would have gotten to play Marcus Mariota, but they didn't. So the Pats won the biggest game of the year and they got to keep going. They beat Pittsburgh's ass so hard that Jesse James may or may

not have cradled the ball in the end zone because his ass was so... I don't remember what happened anymore. I just remember the win and I remember feeling like some asses were kicked. I watched that game with you. Yeah, I mean, think about that though.

That catch continuation thing, the Steelers, they would have, how much time was left? I can't even remember. It was nothing, right? What was it? Yeah,

we couldn't have come back. Yeah, so that was it. So the Steelers would have been home for Tennessee today and we would have to play the Jags in round two. Yeah. That was it. So the Steelers would have been home for Tennessee today, and we would have had to play the Jags in round two. Right.

There you go. That was a big game. It was definitely a big game. Minnesota at Philly. So glad we're done talking about the Patriots. All right. The Jeff Fisher Bowl. You get this one.

Oh, right. Yeah. I had the Vikings by three. You didn't pick that? No, I did. I said two. I don't know why. I think it's going to be hard for them to go in there and win. It's three and a half. Oh, wow. Really? But that goes down. That goes down just like the Atlanta line went down, right?

I think that should end at three. You do? I think it'll be lower. Well, the weather's going to be huge, right? Mm-hmm. If it's another 20-degree or 15-degree, one of those things, that's great for Philly. Play a little smash mouth. Right.

But when you think about that Falcons game, even though they barely won, the amount of fumbles and just the amount of luck the Falcons had in that game. Yeah. And then the way the Eagles started to play as the game went along. I don't know. I'd be encouraged if I was an Eagles fan. And why can't you win a Super Bowl with Nick Foles? I mean, this has been

one of the weirdest years in the history of the league. It would make perfect sense if Nick Foles won the Super Bowl and beat Blake Bortles. Like, I'm prepared for anything. I'm with you. Now, where are you on Doug Peterson? Because I think he called a pretty flawless game. I know Lombardi needs him to screw up along the way.

Yeah, Lombardi might have to admit defeat on this one soon. What do you think, Tate? Are we close? He did. He did? Yeah. He did, really? What did he say?

Oh, wow. Breaking news. Yeah. He said if you win a playoff game, you get his respect. Any coach in the league. But then he went after Sarkeesian, which we all know Sarkeesian was pretty terrible down the stretch. The worst.

Peterson, he's kind of all over the map. He'll do a couple of really strange things on both sides of the ball. But, you know, you win a home playoff game with your backup quarterback as an underdog, and that's legit. I got to give him props. Beat the NFC champions, yeah. That was big. Pretty good. All right, so you won the week.

You've won all three playoff weeks against me. Listen, this is what we do. And by we, I mean the Patriots and me. We, uh... What's a tease? Seven-pointer is Pats to two and a half. And then you could bring the Vikings to plus four? Yeah, for now, yeah.

Yep. You wouldn't go Philly plus ten or eleven? I don't know. That's one of those. If you're betting Philly plus 10 or 11 I don't know that's one of those if you're betting Philly you gotta bet you gotta parlay the plus 3.5

with the under again they're not gonna win like a 26 to 20 game that's just a thing I just don't know if there's any point score in that game it's gonna be fun

that's what they want I'll look forward to both matches alright one more break talk about Hotel Tonight if you're like me

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and download the Hotel Tonight app right now all right i have them uh i have i have david shoemaker our art director and host of the masked man show is making a special parent corner graphic using the photo of us from 2005 in las vegas in front of a topless strip joint with our pushing our baby strollers. And we're going to make a fun graphic out of that, and it's going to be great. That's great.

I forgot. I remember the picture, but I'd love to see it. I'd love to see it. They should have taken the kids away from us then. Yeah, well, remember, that's when we learned, like, Vegas was really kid accessible. We had no idea. They had all these special little walkways

and things for people with kids right yeah went to an aquarium I think we saw a lion and all the while but you felt like a scumbag like rolling the strollers through the casino right to get places my biggest regret was gambling till 3 in the morning with

you and our two kids in the strollers probably was wrong I wouldn't have done that again all right you go first for parent corner i'll go first mine's not great but um it's funny like how we compare kids like we've said this before our oldest are a couple months apart and our middle kids are a couple months apart maybe even less right yeah did you yeah i think our oldest are like three weeks apart. Three weeks apart, yeah. Anyway, but our nine-year-olds couldn't be,

or 10-year-olds, couldn't be more different. Your guy's going to be an MMA fighter. Yeah, probably. If you're lucky, right? Yeah, or in China. Mine's very quirky. We haven't figured it out yet. Quirky is very generous, I think, at this point for him.

So now he has this thing where he, I showed him that you can go on Google Maps and locate where you live. And then you go to Street View and you could go up the street. You could see your neighbors and you could see everybody else's house. And it's cool because you can maybe see your car in the driveway on Google Maps. And that's it. And that's as cool as it gets. Okay, so why then did my son last night, after I left him at 9.30 to watch one of these million movie screeners I need to view for the Oscars, he comes back at 12.30 at night.

I was like, what did you do? He came back upstairs. He's like, you've got to come down here. He printed out every house we've known in America, anyone we ever live in, anything. And it's all over the house. It's all over my office. It looks like we're on The Wire season three and we're investigating a crime. It's like Homeland.

Yeah, really. It's like Homeland. I'm like, what are we going to do with this? Isn't this great? I'm like, no, it's not great. Why can't you be like Ben Simmons and have a girlfriend? Send heart emojis on Instagram. What are you doing with this nonsense?

So that's really it. I just want to know, maybe you could help how I get him a girlfriend off of Google Maps. It sounds like we should create a sitcom with him and Brad where they live in the same house. And he prints this stuff out for Brad and then Brad, Brad uses the information and tries to solve crimes or something. I don't know. That's not bad. That's not bad.

Have the math man work on a graphic for that. I have, I have, I actually am going double parent corner this week. I have two. All right. Good. I have a short one.

My, my son my son ben the the the liar he uh got in trouble at school because he was smuggling candy and pringles into school and then trying to sell them to the other kids and trade them for things and had this whole candy rig and became the guy who had the candy. And people were like, hey, Ben, can I get a Kit Kat? It's like it's a very junior level of being the kid in high school who has pot for everybody. He had the candy.

Yeah, yeah. And he was that kid, and he got in trouble. Oh, that's great. Oh, we got to get him. The next step is pushing Polly tickets in the fall. Oh, he's ready. He's very close to being a young budding gambler like us. Well, listen, here's the problem.

He's got a girlfriend, and that's not cheap, even in the fourth grade or whatever. He's got Valentine's Day coming up here, and he's got a present for her. Absolutely. You don't give him any allowance, right? Do you give him allowance? No, I think he stole money from me. He's a liar and a thief. Whatever he can steal. He's a liar? No, I think he stole money from me. He's a liar and a thief.

He's a liar and a thief. I have to hide my wallet. But that's not my parent corner story. That was a warm-up. That was a matinee. It's bar mitzvah season for myth grade daughter and she's been to 5 now and some of them have you been to a bar mitzvah

this was a bat mitzvah she went to but have you been to these I've been yeah I grew up in Long Island we'd have one you know in 8th grade I had one every week so when you were going to them did they make did the kids ask their friends to give speeches I don't remember that I think think this feels like a new wrinkle right so a lot of these are are seventh grade girls who seventh grade girls can be both super astute and thoughtful and really

intelligent when they're not around other seventh grade girls. But as soon as there's at least two of them, their IQ drops by about 20 points. And it's per kid. So if you have three, like let's say Zoe's at like, I don't know, 110 IQ. I don't know.

But if you put four other, three other seventh grade girls were there, that drops to 50 right it's like basically sling blade and uh and they're just idiots and they just laugh and they're just complete idiots together so the only way this could ever be worse is if they're giving speeches in front of 100 people right right so all week i they zoe had a friend ask to give a speech. And there was like a couple other girls that gave speeches. And all week, I was just hammering her not to give the speech that every girl gives at these things.

And here's what happened. So let's pretend it's Tate's bar mitzvah. It's like, all right, now here's Tate's friend Bill. Tate, you're such an awesome friend. You're the best friend I have ever had. You're so great. You've been such an awesome friend to me and I just want to say congratulations. You're such a great friend. And it's just a

disaster for 40 seconds. Yeah. So I was adamant that she couldn't give a speech like that and actually had to put some thought into the speech. What do you want her to be like Bill Belichick at the post game press conference?

No, I was like, you gotta like, you know, make, make some sort of personal connection for the speech. So she did. And I was really,

and I was really proud that she gave maybe a 20, 25 second speech that was actually coherent and didn't do that. And my note for Parent Corner, if your kids are going to bar mitzvahs and they're giving the speeches, spend the extra seven minutes working the speech through with them and don't make it so that they just go up and they just talk about how great the kid is. Make it, it's a chance to get emotional and have a little connection. Like make a little, make a little, put a little love and care into it. That's a chance to get emotional and have a little connection. Make a little, put a little love and care into it.

That's good advice. And you got Grandma Helga, 108 years old, across from you watching, you know, the kid's grandmother who dished out like 25 grand for this ceremony. Yeah, she's going to appreciate the effort. You're right. I didn't know we were allowed to praise our kids in this. I didn't know that. That changes everything. Well, I mean, that's why I didn't want we were allowed to praise our kids in this. I didn't know that. That changes everything.

Well, I mean, that's why I didn't want to just do a nice one. So I talked about my son, the liar and the thief who operated the candy ring at his school. Yeah, actually, that changes nothing for me. I'm not going to be able to come up with anything like that. That's good. What do you have to plug, Sal? What do you have to plug, Sal? What do I have? Jimmy came alive this week.

Gerard Butler, Kristen Bell, Bill Maher, Adam Levine, and Maroon 5 performing this week. This Wednesday, against all odds, the Parlay Kid did it again. Best bet. Grong touchdown and bats win. Good prop. And I'm trying to get the Powerball winner on to interview him. If anyone out there can get that.

The guy's 20 years old from Florida. He won like $460 million, some crazy number. I'm not going to borrow. I'm not going to be one of those jerks that asks for $10 million. I just need like $30 grand to cover this weekend. But yeah, I'd love to talk to him. He did the lump sum, right?

Yeah, he did the lump sum. Smart. The lump sum is the move, right? You get it all at once, and then you could do stuff with it. That's what they say. Yeah, properly invested. It works out to be a lot more than if you had taken it in installments. But he's going to have a great bar mitzvah no matter what.

That would have been a good name for your podcast, the lump sum. Thanks to ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. My listeners can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com. Thanks to Gillette. Get Gillette performance delivered to your door. No more getting mad at yourself because you just got back from the grocery store and realized you forgot to buy blades. Subscribe today.

Pick your favorite razor. Get every fourth order for free. Visit Gillette online at Gillilletteondemand.com. Thanks to Hotel Tonight. They help you book amazing deals at great hotels up to 100 days in advance and top destinations and up to a week in advance everywhere else. Whether you need a suite deal and a nice room for today, the winter or beyond, start scoring amazing deals at incredible hotels.

Download the Hotel Tonight app right now. Thanks to my son's school for not kicking him out. And thanks to Tate Frazier for sticking around on Sunday night. Now, Tate gets to sleep late tomorrow. Tate, what time are you waking up tomorrow? He should still be in early. It's Monday. Start the week right.

I've got to celebrate him. Okay, Sal, you know that. Sal, we're getting very close to being able to jump on some NBA bets here as Tankapalooza begins. We're inching toward Tankapalooza. I'm keeping an eye on it. Yeah, there's a couple teams that are really ready. Are really ready to start messing around.

Sal, as always, good job by you. Good job by you, Billy! I don't have.