The Bill Simmons Podcast - Mr. Irrelevant, Joey B, Mike Lotus, Danny Dimes, Josh McD, and other NFL Winners + Losers With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the Cowboys’ blowout win vs. the Colts, 49ers-Dolphins, another Bengals victory over the Chiefs, Raiders-Chargers, Texans-Browns, Lamar Jackson’s injury in the Ravens’ win vs. the Broncos, Jets-Vikings, the Commanders’ Giant tie, remaining NFL story lines, and more (3:42). Then they guess the lines for NFL Week 14 (41:30), before closing the show with Parent Corner (1:04:35). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, you know The Ringer has four local podcasts, right, for sports? We have Off the Pike with Brian Barrett, that's Boston, New York, New York with John Jastrzemski, The Full Go is Chicago with Jason Goff, and last but not least, The Ringer's Philly special, Shil Kapadia and Ben Solak covering the Eagles, and Raheem Palmer and Chris Ryan covering the Sixers. Go check all of them out on The Ringer Podcast Network. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle

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episode probably Thursday on the Prestige TV. So I'm looking forward to hearing that. We also are covering Wednesday this week in two parts because the whole first season went up. It's a hot show right now. You know how I know it's a hot show? My daughter, where I get most of my pop culture, she's like, dad, that's a hot show right now. She devoured it. So we're going to be doing that in Sex Lives of College Girls as well. So that is the prestige feed on the rewatchables. Monday night, me and Chris Ryan, we're doing a Denzel movie. That's all I'm going to say can it go wrong on the rewatchables

with the Denzel movie my short answer is no but that's what you have to look forward to on Monday night and if you want to hear some World Cup stuff over the course of the week

go check out Counterpressed and Righty's House and Stadio FC for all of their World Cup takes. Disappointing weekend for America, but also expected.

Dutch is at a whole other level. We need a striker. We need somebody that can put corner kicks and free kicks in the box. We need a little athleticism in the back. We need a different coach. I'd like a coach that played our best 11 guys for more than 20 minutes together.

I don't know. Call me crazy. But we need a striker. You know, if we were, this is a basketball team in the NBA. You're just, you know, you're not getting past round one unless you have a guy. You need a guy. We need a guy. We need a striker.

Let's just go get one from another country. Let's just do it. Just convince. Remember when Hakeem, he just jumped to Team USA. What year was that? Like 2000. Just need a guy from another country. Let's just do it. Just convince. Remember when Hakeem, he just jumped to Team USA. What year was that? Like 2000? Just need a guy from another country. We've already kind of done it a little bit

with a couple of the guys on this team where they could have played for multiple countries and they're not playing for us. You need a striker. Come to the US. Score goals for us. Finish. Finish crosses.

Finish headers in the box. Do one-timers. How many one-timers did we see go sailing over the net? I mean, I like Weston McKinney, but if the net was 30 feet high, he would have been the best player in the world. We need a striker. I still enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun watching Team USA, even though it was a root canal every game, but I'm going to miss watching them. I haven't decided on adopting it. Kind of enjoyed the Dutch. I got to be honest. I liked the way they played.

I liked how they just kind of hung back, waited for us to mess up, had total confidence, and then just kind of demolished us a couple of times. I was impressed. I like their uniforms too. I don't know. I'll announce on Tuesday who I'm rooting for.

Tuesday, we have a podcast here. Thursday, obviously. And coming up on this one, the Cubs coming off a big Sunday night Dallas win. We're going have a podcast here. Thursday, obviously, and coming up on this one, The Cuz, coming off a big Sunday night Dallas win. We're going to talk about that. We're going to talk about some major QB injuries and a topsy-turvy week 13. That's all next, first. Pro-Jab. Coming up on the Toyota Halftime, Cousin Sal says that it's San Francisco's time to find another QB. There were 13 games today. We should have rehearsed that better.

I don't know. I think that went better than how they actually do it. They should have done it like Jimmy G is down to one foot. Right. Exactly. Lamar Jackson, his knee hurts. We're making fun of the Sunday night NBC halftime promo that we love that we can't believe they're still doing. We thought after we made fun of it and a bunch of other people made fun of it, we thought they would audible, but no, they didn't.

They just, they read it back with Garrett, who now looks like the Riddler in these halftime things. He's like grinning maniacally like he like he just kidnapped somebody. And he has his hands in his pockets. I guess it's because they don't trust him to not just break out and start clapping out of nowhere in the eight second promo. But yeah, that turns the camera is that is the best as if Mr. Roper was Frankenstein. I don't know what the hell is going on there. We always thought that the Clapper could have been a DC Comics villain,

but he's actually turning into a DC Comics villain. He's got this crazy smile. He's offering no insight. And I got to say, it's my favorite halftime show. I go out of my way to watch it every week. What did he say today at halftime about? And then, you know, Matt Ryan, he made that turnover and that was big for Dallas.

Yeah, the turnover at the end of the half was big or something like that. The turnover was big. The eight-point swing was big. Just nugget after nugget after sound advice. It's like, yeah, this guy definitely coached in the NFL. You can see why he went 8-8 for nine years in a row. We're going to try to offer insight that's a little bit better than that today. Your team crushed the Colts, which was not the story of the day.

That's how you do it on national television. That's what you do, Simmons. You don't embarrass yourself in these primetime games like your stupid team did. 54-19. No holes in this Cowboys squad. Not an L. How scared were you for Dak at various points in that game?

Were? Here's what I keep telling myself. Because he could have had like seven or eight interceptions. I know we say that for a lot of quarterbacks. But first of all, there's five weeks left, right? So get it out of the system now. Get rolling. Get hot two, three weeks from now.

Maybe Gallup's picking it up. Maybe they're back in sync somehow. I don't know. I know. I know you're not convinced, but my buddies, I'm on other text chains with Cowboys fans. I'm like, what other quarterback in the NFC are you confident

will win three games in the playoffs? Maybe Jalen Hurts at this point, but definitely not with Jimmy G going down now. The 49ers are out of the mix. Kirk Cousins, you don't think of that, right? So we're on par. We're good. We're fine. I did a week 13 snapshot and there's only eight teams

that I think I can actually see in the playoffs. Not counting the NFC South team. See in the Super Bowl? No, just that I think our playoff teams. I think there's six spots available basically.

I guess five. But Buffalo, KC, Tennessee, Cincy. Just because Tennessee is going to win AFC South. Philly, Minnesota, SanC, Tennessee, Cincy just because Tennessee is going to win AFC South. Philly, Minnesota, San Francisco, Dallas and then the NFC South. So we have five spots

basically open right now. And going back to your quarterback point, you know, we're going to have Sam Darnold in a playoff game. Like you can't, we still can't rule out Carolina and the NFC South.

We're going to have Brock, what's his last name? What's Brock's last name in the Niners? Brock Osweiler? We still can't rule out Carolina and the NFC South. We're going to have Brock. What's his last name? What's Brock's last name in the Niners? Brock Osweiler? No. What? Brock Purdy.

Oh, Brock Purdy. Brock Purdy is going to be in a playoff game. I'm excited for him. I did some research on him, which unfortunately didn't include his last name. But we could have Mike White, Lotus himself, he might be in the playoffs. Heineken might be in the playoffs.

Sure. Danny Dimes might be in the playoffs. Kenny Pickett, outside chances in the playoffs. Geno Smith is probably going to be in the playoffs. So you think like Dak, when you list all the guys that are going to be in there, Dak's looking better and better.

Thank you. That makes me feel good. I didn't do all that research, but that's good. Yeah, I tried. Jimmy G is out for the season. At a time when I thought the Niners had a chance to come at it today as

not people saying they were the best team, but them becoming the chic Super Bowl pick. Because Philly looked great today. Part of it was because Berks got hurt. Once Burks got hurt, you knew Tennessee was done. And also because everybody and their brother

bet on Tennessee today. But Philly looked, Philly did everything they needed to do. They're now the favorite because KC lost. But San Fran was moving into that. Oh man, this defense,

McCaffrey looks great. They got McCaffrey, Debo, Kittle healthy. Jimmy G's good enough. And then it's over in five minutes. With that said, our guy Brock was pretty good for a third string Mr. Irrelevant rookie. I was kind of

stunned by how confident he was. I thought he actually played well. Paul Heyman should bring him out, right? Our guy Brock. Brock Purdy! Brock! The most sensational one. Yeah, and I think there's no better offense to go into, right?

To replace a hurt quarterback, right? Like it's, you know, they've run the ball great. They do, they scheme their receivers. You mentioned all those guys, right? Kittle, Debo, Jennings, I don't know where, Iuke. You know, they have a lot of weapons, a lot of play members, right?

But yeah, I feel like it's like my son's in the band, right? But yeah, I feel like it's like my son's in the band, right? And he plays bass clarinet. And if you're in a great band, you could just sit there and pretend to play. I'm not saying that that's what he does, but I feel like that's the same with the quarterback position

for the 49ers. You're not going to embarrass the team, I don't think. Now, that said, there's going to be tape on him in a week and two weeks. I don't know how fast they can turn these videotapes around, but there will be tape on him and he's going to make some mistakes, but yeah, he's fine. It would be like going into

the World Cup without a striker and then trying to get past the knockout. Oh, no, that just happened to me. Can we do the Jimmy G thing quick? This guy weirdly has had terrible luck, right? He gets drafted in the Patriots. He's going to be Tom Brady's successor.

We all assume Brady, he'll be done by 2016, 17. Then Jimmy G will take over. Brady's like, nope, hold my beer and just continues to play. So they finally trade him to the Niners, Gets his own team with Kyle Shanahan. This is great. Blows out his knee. Then comes back. Comes within like, I don't know, how close was that throw?

What did he overthrow that guy by? A yard and a half? That guy catches it. He's maybe a Super Bowl hero MVP. That doesn't happen. Then they decide, eh, Trey Lance. Instead of using these first rounders we have to beef up your contender, we're going to bring in your competition.

Almost makes it again last year. And you could argue that they came within one or two plays that Rams game. If Cooper Cupp doesn't go nuts, which has nothing to do with him. Now we get to this season. Lance gets hurt. And now it's happening for him again this season, Lance gets hurt and now it's happening

for him again and then he gets hurt again. This is second season ending injury. The guy's snake bit. I actually felt bad for him because I like him. I do too,

but he's a beautiful bastard so he's got that going for him. True, he'll just have sex. Like, we don't care. If Jon Hamm doesn't make the playoffs in our fantasy league, we're not that upset about it, right? Like, oh, this guy's got

the worst luck. But, yeah, I don't know. Wait till he ends up on the Jets next year. Then the luck's going to be worse. Well, I wrote down in my notes, and this is before I did all the research, what does San Francisco do? And I guess the answer is you sign Josh Johnson

from Denver's practice squad. There's not a lot of moves. Josh Johnson's been on 14 teams. I didn't even know he was still peripherally involved in the league, but there's no moves. He's made $8 million. I was like, oh, that's a lot. I'm like, no, for a football player that's been on almost all the teams,

that's not a lot at all. That's minimum wage. I was thinking it would be great if this was like our fantasy league where Monday a talking point was the Niners. I mean, they were smart. They have $69 in free agent money left. We'll see on Wednesday night who they get. They're just putting in for like Josh Johnson,

um, Brian Hoyer, all these third stringers, but it's too bad. It makes me wonder like if the trade deadline, like when our, in our fantasy league, our trade deadline went until last week.

So even that would have been, we wouldn't have made it, but it's too bad Tom Brady couldn't be like, hey Bucks, eh, just release me. We're good, right? We're not going to win this year. Can you just release me and let me go to San Francisco and take over? But that just can't happen. So we're going to get Brock Purdy.

Brock Purdy was Mr. Irrelevant, which means he was the last player drafted, right, in 2021. I tried to get him on against all odds because Harry was a huge Brock Purdy fan at Iowa State. I bet him to win the Heisman, bet Iowa State to win the Big 12, and I tried

to get him on, and he said, no. He said, yours is the most irrelevant podcast, and I'm not going to go on. He didn't exactly say that, but by not showing up, he said that. Well, he's a devout Christian. Maybe he was offended by some of the content. Oh, yeah, yeah. He probably doesn't want any part of this.

Yeah, I did some Brock Purdy research. He's the most successful Mr. Irrelevant of all time is Ryan Suckup. Did you know that? Oh, is that right? Yeah. So he's a chance to already beat Suckup. He threw for over 12,000 yards at Iowa State. And in 2019, there's a stat where it's like

only five quarterbacks threw for 27 touchdowns. It was like him, Fields, Lawrence, Jalen Hurts, and Burrow. It was a good offense. But going back to him in high school, and this is why I think there's going to be a lot of stories about him this week. He was a good prospect.

Gets mono his junior year in high school. He's in Arizona. Basically, his whole junior year is shot. He's not recruited at all. Senior year, he's going. Doesn't get one offer from a major college until November, which was Montana State.

And then they kept winning. They make the playoffs. He starts getting offers. By January, he has a walk-on offer from Alabama and some other ones. Are you going to go into the electives he took in junior year? No, no, I'm almost done. Oh, okay. He goes from no offers to he's got Kansas, Iowa State, Arizona State, Boise State. And then Saban says, I got a scholarship for you.

And Purdy says, no, I'm good with Iowa State. And he goes to Iowa State and he's there for four years, throws for 12,000 yards. But reading about this, I was like, I kind of like this guy. I wonder if this is going to be like a, could this be like a Kurt Warner type story? And that'd be a great story, right? Because Jalen Hurts, if he plays the Eagles in the playoffs or in the

conference championship, that could have been the Alabama quarterback that Saban that he passed on Saban, I guess. So this, my point is this guy's not as stiff. Like, he at least had enough pedigree in high school that Saban was like, here's an actual scholarship. And then he threw for a shitload of yards and he was good today.

I was impressed. Yeah. You'll find like a lot of these pros were good in college and for them to be good in college, they were excellent in high school. I mean, I don't know how far, what kind of research you want to do, but yeah. Yeah. But there's guys that come in like Sam Ellinger,

where you're like, wow, that guy's just, it's not happening. But you kind of know right away. Or like the guy, Wofer today, when he had to throw the Hail Mary to the Rebs guy.

And it went like 24 yards. He was like, ah, you know, that guy can run around. But ultimately, like he doesn't really have it. This guy Purdy looks like, if all he has to do.

He's not going to bury them. No, he will not. That's my point. I don't think he's going to bury them. So even though it's brutal for team. That's my point. I don't think he's going to bury them. So even though it's brutal for them that they lost Jimmy G, I don't know. The only other thing I was thinking was

Romo can't play anymore, right? I don't think he can. He had once said years ago that it would take like a month for him to get back in shape. So now what does that mean? Now he's not coming back. Phil Rivers?

Too long. Breeze? What if Aaron Rodgers just tries to get waived over the next week? Just defends everyone in Wisconsin for a week. Yeah, he could do that. It's so funny. Now we cross teams off for the playoffs. We should do this for old aging quarterbacks.

Like Jeff George used to be the name we used to throw around. So in 2017, we should have been like, Jeff George is no longer available according to us. Eli Manning has been taken off the board. That's right. Yeah, exactly. All right. So freshman year, Brock Purdy took English one-on-one. Good. Yeah. Yeah. I was bummed for the Niners though because you're watching that game if you're a Niners fan, you're like, holy shit.

Our team, we have like, we have like one of the best four teams. We're feeling good. And then in the blink of an eye, all of a sudden you weren't. Lots happened today. We're going to take a quick break and then let's talk about Borough.

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Yeah, an example for me. Because safety is learned. It's learned. Okay, give it up. Give what up? Really? Really, really. Ugh.

This message is brought to you's learned. Okay. Give it up. Give what up? Really? Really, really. This message is brought to you by Metrolinx. Alright, so Burrow beat Mahomes again. He was the best player of the day. So cool, too. So cool. Like, never rattled. Nothing. Never seen. I gotta say, that was the

best quarterback performance I think I've seen this year and the stats didn't do it justice if you watch the whole game he was I thought they had

pressure on him the whole game I think he only got sacked I think he only got sacked like once but he was

actually sacked twice they had one sack he was doing this zigzag and pressure thing where the pocket felt like it was collapsing around him. He was just going right, left. It looked like he was playing a video game.

And he was always coming out of it. He was totally calm. His throws were great. Boyd dropped that touch. That should have had much better stats because Boyd dropped that wide open. I haven't seen a guy wide open like that. Yeah, that was brutal.

Yeah, they could add 40 points in that game. And he's got Mahomes on the other end. And it really looked like it was going to be a showdown. Then Kelsey just, you know, this fumble that you see that play happen, what, three times a year when the guy's just dragging nine guys for extra yardage and they actually don't call it dead and he fumbles anyway. So they have that. Butker misses a kick.

I felt like the Bengals were slightly better because they should have put the game away or at least put a dent in it in the first half. In that fourth and one call, oh my God, Sal. I was losing my mind. Joe Burrow is 6'4".

It's fourth and one. Just lean forward. He's getting a yard. He's 6'4". Play works 99.9% of the time and instead they run this quick sweep handoff thing. The guy gets decked for minus three and instead of going up, they potentially

either could take him to field goal or going up 10 and all of a sudden, a half hour later, the Chiefs are winning. And you could shove the guy. You could shove him. You could have three guys shoving his ass Chiefs. The running backs pushing him forward. Right.

Well, the Eagles have figured this out. Whatever that mass rugby formation they have on those short yards, it's like the most unstoppable thing I've ever seen. It's like this massive, which by the way, somebody's going to break their leg in one of those. And then we'll, I would rather them change the rule back.

I don't want to see, it is rugby. I don't want to see, I don't want to see throw-ins. I don't want to see corner kicks in our football, you know? Like, yeah. Yeah. What, what, what happened to it? Not being legal. That wasn't good enough.

But anyway, you're right. Yes. Quarterback sneak is a, is a great little solution to these fourth and a half a yard. I bring it up because I thought they were a little bit better than the Chiefs. And I think the Bengals are really good. I felt that way before the game.

Whatever I'm throwing out the first couple weeks, I think they're a legit contender. And then you think Lamar goes down. They're both 8-4. Baltimore has the advantage right now in the division because of tiebreakers.

But yeah, they don't because Lamar's out. So, my guess is the Bengals get that three seed unless something funky happens. Chase is back.

He looked great today. And I think that's the third best team in the conference, don't you? I'm hoping they get a three seed because of that, right? It would be nice if the Bills got a one

or the Chiefs got a two or reverse that if you want, and the Bengals got the three, right? Just to keep them out. I know only one team gets the bye now, but yeah, I want to see the Bengals have a home game. I want to see those three teams in the final four for the AFC, right? So let's get the Bengals there.

So since he has Cleveland home this week. Tampa, right? At Tampa, at New England. Home Buffalo, home Baltimore in the last week. So that Baltimore game will decide it. Baltimore. No Lamar, I would guess, this week. They're at Pittsburgh.

I bet on Pittsburgh today, so I watched a lot of that game. Pittsburgh's decent. You know, their defense is good. They have athletes on both ends. It always feels like they left some points on the table because their receivers are so scary. Pickens is mad five times a game. They can run the ball.

Pickens is not awful. He's okay. He can move around. He's fine. He's like a C+. I think Baltimore's... We'll do guess the lines plus. And I think, I think Baltimore's and we haven't got, we'll do guess the lines later, but I think Baltimore will lose that game.

And then since it'd be in the driver's seat and then that'll be it. Well, there are five and I mean, there are three, five and seven. So we can get into this later too. Like Pittsburgh, Detroit Raiders.

These are teams. I don't want to play. I'd rather play some playoff teams. And the three I just mentioned, I think I'd rather play the bucks and any of the three I just mentioned. I think I'd rather play the Bucs than any of the three I just mentioned. For some reason, the offenses have come to life. Not as much for the Steelers, but that defense is so overwhelming. But yeah, Ravens are in a little bit of trouble.

Let's just try not to make the mistake. If Huntley has a good game, say he's better than Lamar. I'm trying to think of what this Lamar contract was like, though. Like this screw up of not signing. Is this like, I don't know. Is this like Louis CK, like turning down like a $100 million Netflix picture and then like getting canceled? I don't know.

I don't know what the equivalent is, but my God, what a bad move. It's the contract year from hell. Yeah. Hurts his knee. Bateman goes It's the contract year from hell. Yeah. Hurts his knee. Bateman goes down for the whole year. This guy was supposed to be his number one receiver. He was supposed to get Dobbins back. Dobbins was barely Dobbins.

Then he leaves again. Stanley's out. The offensive lineman's out. Yeah, loses his left tackle. Every other game. Yeah, right. And then on top of it, like the Kyler thing, I think is a piece of this, right? The Cardinals like panic for whatever reason they give Kyler that guaranteed money.

That's a disaster. Russell Wilson, Denver does that. That's a disaster. And I don't know, I don't, I don't think those $250 million deals are floating around the same way they were six months ago. I would be a lot more nervous about it. Not like Lamar is way more, I would say, safe for bet than Kyler.

Russell had the history, at least, and you could argue change of scenery. Well, I'm trying to... I know you made fun of Dak, but he got injured. He hurt his knee, right? And he got a decent contract. Maybe had they negotiated with him earlier,

it would have been better. But there'll be money for Lamar. There will, but I think the Kyler thing screwed it up. It's a little like what happened in the NBA when the Gobert trade. Utah, Minnesota overpaid for Gobert to the point that when Durant asked to be traded, the Nets were

like, well, the market's been established with the Rudy Gobert trade. And the rest of the league was like, no, it hasn't. We're not trading that. You're not getting that for Kevin Durant. He wants to leave. That's not happening. That trade was insane. That trade's never happening again. And I think the Kyler thing, that contract is never happening again. That contract's going to kill their franchise for three years. Same for the Wilson one. I think you're right. But what if the Haslam's buy the Ravens? I mean, there only takes one crazy owner to give stupid

money when it's not warranted. But I know what you're saying. Ravens. I mean, it only takes one crazy owner, right, to give stupid money when it's not warranted. But I know what you're saying. Ravens are pretty disciplined, though. Yeah, it's true. I don't think that, I mean,

look at how they handled it heading into the season. Everyone's like, well, they're going to take care of them. They're not going to let this hang over the season. The Ravens were like,

watch this. We're letting it hang over the season. With the, with the, back to the Bengals for a second. Burrow was 25 for 31 for 286.

He was 11 for 46 rushing. And then had this one crazy keeper thing where three guys had hits on him that seemed like it was going to be the end of the season for him. He survived that. They got 26 first downs. And I don't know.

I have them with Buffalo and KC now as the top three in the AFC. And I don't know what my order is yet because we don't know how healthy Allen is. I still think KC is the safest pick if I'm taking one three. But I think Cincy is back in that mix, especially at eight and four.

But you were mentioning some of the shitty teams. Buffalo's back being the one seed now, right? Buffalo's the one seed. Miami lost. Yeah. It goes Buffalo, KC, Baltimore, Tennessee would be our 1-4. Cincy and Miami are the top wildcards.

And they're both 8-4. And then it goes Jets 7-5, Pats, Chargers 6-6, Vegas, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, five and seven. I had the same thought you did about the Raiders.

Cause I bet on them today too. The Raiders are, are, are pretty good. Like they're well coached. All the shit McDaniels took, even on this podcast, like that team is well coached.

They know who they are. They have a little bit of a pass rush. Jacobs is running out of his mind. Adams. Did you see that Adams catch? It drives me nuts. It's great. The one-handed one where he's flying out of bounds. Yeah, because there was a lot of, it was Chargers-Raiders.

There's a lot of shit being talked on both sides. Right. And Adams catches this big third down, one-handed, right in front of the Chargers bench. And he just like Denzel and man on fires it. Just like, just slow walks it back while staring down their sideline like I don't know man the Raiders could get

to 10 and 7 I was looking at it the last two were tough I know they're at the Rams which whatever that's a home game Patriots and then the at the Steelers they could win those right so that gets that gets in the 8 and 7 then they have San Francisco which is now Brock Purdy and that's home i mean that's that you can't tell me they

can't beat brock purdy at home and then they'll be and then kc last week of the season and kc could be you know they might have the two seats i just hate it because you know i had them to win the afc west and then they lost all those games they know but i backed off it they lost seven of their first nine i'm like i'm not betting on them anymore. And they beat the Broncos, they beat the Seahawks, and they beat the Chargers. So, yeah. As soon as I get back on, they'll screw me.

That's a Thursday game, right? At the Rams. Well, I had a couple of questions for you off this. One is that, could we see Baltimore not make the playoffs? Because Baltimore is 8-4, and they've had some really, really dubious wins, including the one today that was pulling it out of their colon. And Denver had 19 chances to put that game away

and then missed a 63 yard or an altitude that I thought they were going to make. But Baltimore has got at Pittsburgh, at Cleveland next to Atlanta and Pittsburgh at home. You figure they'll split the Pittsburghs and then they're at Cincinnati the last week. But what if, I don't know, what if there's

like a three-way tie of 10 and 7? What if they go one and four the rest of the way? I'm not locking them in the playoffs yet. It's gotten to a point where there's no game they're definitely going to win, right? I don't think so. If they couldn't put this one away, and I know Lamar got hurt and Denver scores no points, but

we saw them blow four double-digit leads or two-score leads in the second half. You can't say there's any single game on their schedule that's a definite win. The other one who's definitely not a playoff team, and I think people have them mentally in there, but they're not,

is Miami. Miami's 8-4. Chargers this week, that's a loser-leaves-town match for the Chargers, right? They lose that, it's over. Because they've lost to everybody in the AFC. That was the flexed game to Sunday, right? So, alright. So they got at Chargers, at Buffalo.

Home Green Bay is the one easy one. At New England, so they'd have to beat New England a second time, and that was probably a loser leaves town match for New England. And then jets last week. And it does feel like I, if I had to pick between the jets of Miami right now, I think I'd take the jets. Whoa,

easy fella. I thought the jets, I, that was a brutal loss today. And I, but I thought they were a better team than Minnesota. And I thought they left the game on the table. They had weird play calls.

They're in the red zone. We didn't see their punter for the last two plus hours of that game. The last time he punted was like the five minute mark of the second quarter. They're moving the ball down. Garrett Wilson was awesome. Um, their defense was hitting the shit out of cousins. And eventually I thought he got a little

psyched out I just thought they outplayed Minnesota and unfortunately they have Jefferson I just don't trust Mike Weier I don't know I get it the excitement and everything and you bet $15 on their defense and every Zonovan Zonovan night

however they got going who do you think was going to win with 6 minutes left I had the Vikings I thought they were going, you go, but who do you think was going to win with six minutes left? I had the Vikings. I thought they were going to hold on. I had them. They took their foot off the gas. Yeah.

Actually one of my few winning bets, but he threw 57 times, Mike white, you know? And, um, I don't know. He's picked twice like this secondary.

You saw what they do. They make average below average quarterbacks look good. Your guy threw all over him on Thanksgiving. I know. So, um, I don't like. I thought that was a good Jets loss. It was a Jetsy Jets performance, right? Where they lose, but their fans are weirdly enthused

and they shouldn't be, but they have a lot of good players. Garrett Wilson is as good as any receiver I'm watching week to week now, except for Jefferson. He's solid. He looks like a fourth-year pro.

He really does. Yeah, he's awesome. So the Jets have at Buffalo this week, Detroit, Jacksonville, at Seattle, at Miami. I think they get to 10 wins, which will get them in. And the Pats fall off. Yeah. Right?

The Pats are 6-6 at lunch. You and I went to lunch. On Friday, yeah. I was staring at my pizza, but I was paying attention. I said the Jets and Giants were both even odds to make the playoffs or not make the playoffs, whatever you want to do. And then we said the Jets, that schedule, now they're a team that's going to win these games, right?

They'll beat the Jaguars. Yeah. And maybe at the Seahawks and maybe at the Dolphins in a game that they might not need. But yeah, so they're going to have 10. They're going to get to 10, I think. Pittsburgh 5 and 7, they'd have to beat Baltimore twice. They'd have to beat Vegas at home. It's not unbelievable, but they're probably a 9-8 team. On the NFC side, we basically have five playoff teams

and then two spots for the Giants 7-4-1, Seattle 7-5, and Washington 7-5-1. The tie was the dumbest game of the day. But do you think that was, I don't want to say that was strategy for Ron Rivera. I'm not sure who to be mad at more about the ties. Both fan bases seemed devastated, but I feel like Washington was like, hey, we have a bye,

then we play this team again, and we're going to beat them at home, and that'll be it. Then they'll be done. Right? I mean, why is Ron Rivera running on third and ten? I know, but what did people want them to do in that game? At that point, you're not going to win, so you can at least get a half win. Listen, I hated it.

I had a parlay with Washington just to win with the adjusted under of 52, and I thought I was home free. They're first down, overtime. They're on the Giants 43. Brian Robinson, every time they gave him the ball, would rush for six yards. And somehow he gets stuffed. He gets stuffed again. One-yard pass.

All of a sudden, they're punting. And I'm like, what just happened? This game was over. Thibodeau was awesome today. I thought he was omnipresent, right? The fact that that guy fell to fifth was rough. And then Martindale just cues up these blitzes. And if you're going to run or do those short passes against them, to fifth was rough. And then Martindale just queues up these blitzes.

And if you're going to run or do those short passes against them, that was why I thought they found their groove in the fourth quarter. They started flaming the ball and throwing it over the blitz. I think Dable should get a little shit for this game. They took their foot off the gas. They were up 20-13 with the ball. They gave Heineke.

It's kind of weird. It's like, listen, I'm not very good for most of this game, but I'm going to make things interesting with the ball and they would, they would, you know, they gave Heineke. It's kind of weird. It's like, all right, listen, I'm not very good for most of this game, but I'm going to make things interesting towards the end. If you keep us in there. And he kind of did right. Two touchdowns on two,

275 yards, but then they gave, but then they really, so you don't think they should have like on third and 10, they run right. And it's fourth and five. you got to, you got to chew clock because the Giants

stupidly called their second time out. So you chew clock, you chew 40 seconds, you're basically guaranteeing the tie. No, I get it. You're guaranteeing it. But all right. So even on fourth and five, they're in punt formation and they call a time out. Like get to the line. If you're going to call that time out and you're going to eventually punt,

get the hard count. It's nobody does it anymore. Drives me nuts. I know. I was... It was interesting betting against Danny Dimes today. He just takes off.

They have such a weird offensive game plan, that team. He's semi-scary to go against. I can't explain it. And I was like, is this guy

kind of better than maybe I wanted to admit? I felt like when he would roll out on those design rollouts, I always felt like he was going to just beat the first guy and get five yards. I went and looked at it. So right now he has, so he's rushed for 522 yards this year already. What was his major in high school? 11 touchdown passes, 4 interceptions,

2 fumbles. So he's only had 6 turnovers, right? If we went into the season and I said, the Giants are going to be 7, 4, and 1 in 12 games and Daniel Jones is going to have 6 turnovers, you would have been like, what? No way. He's thrown for 2365.

So I was like, alright, he's on pace to throw for 3,000 yards and rush for 700. How many guys have done this ever? And the answer is eight. Really? Cam Newton, Lamar Jackson, Jalen Hurts, RG3, Josh Allen, Kyler Murray, Russell Wilson, and Randall Cunningham. That's it. Not Michael Vick?

No, no Michael Vick. Wow. At least according to pro football reference. Well, the problem is they were 7-2. I know they're 7-4-1, but they're 7-2. It's like, I don't know. It's basically a loss, this last game. Well, remember that Alex Smith,

a couple teams tried to do this with him, where don't hurt us, run the ball, use your legs. I think the problem for them is they just keep getting injuries. don't hurt us run the ball use your legs and you know I think the problem for them is they just keep getting injuries you know

they're like they've been a mash unit for a month but one of those teams so if you look at how it's going to

play out potentially where with the 2-7 right now it would be Minnesota Seattle

the 3-6 would be Niners Giants and the 4-5 would be Tampa Dallas

any scenario you're playing Tampa which is great for you. Yeah, great. But San Francisco in that three spot, and they're pretty much locked in there now, right? They're two games behind Minnesota. They're two and a half

games ahead of Tampa. So they can really kind of cruise to the three seed. But that, the Giants or Washington is going to be, one of those two teams is going to be looming. And it's just going to be this ugly game where you have Brock Purdy and like a, you know,

16 to 13, 19 to 13 type game. The Giants. Yeah, but they will, they'll crush that. Those receivers. Look at these pass catchers.

Darius Slayton, who I think is, has the second most drops or something in the league. Uh, Isaiah Hodgson's Daniel Bellinger, Richie James. Like, yeah, these are the, this is thegson, Daniel Bellinger, Richie James. This is the guys. Can you imagine against a 49ers defense?

I know one game, anything could happen. They're going to have to move the ball with those guys. When Warner got that pick, that whole defense moves like they're one of the gangs from the Warriors or something. They all move to the sideline and it was just like, these guys.

This is a tough looking team. The AFC right now would be Casey and the Jets. That's a really fun game. That's fun. Baltimore, Miami, and then Tennessee, Cincinnati would be the 4-5. So my guesses would be, I was trying to guess, I think it would be Buffalo Jets as the 2-7, Cincy Baltimore 3-6, Tennessee Miami 4-5.

And if we got those three, I think that would be pretty fun. You're giving KC the one seed, you said? I think I would bet on KC as the one seed if I had to. What would you do? I don't know, man. I was impressed with you. I loved your Patriots Thursday night. I was like, this is it.

In fact, I don't know. My narrative this week is some of these coaches have to have these games circled on the calendar. Your guy against the Bills because of the thrashing they gave him in January. I thought stupidly that Houston would have the Cleveland game circled. I thought Kansas City would have the Cincinnati game circled since

they beat them twice last year. I thought Eberfloss would have the Green Bay with all the we own you stuff. Now you have a gimpy Aaron Rodgers coming down. All of that, they all lost. Every single one of those. Like, not one could avenge any of those losses. So weird.

Yeah, for the Pats, it wasn't a kitchen sink game. It was like a clogged toilet game. Yeah. I don't, I just, I agreed with Mac and all those guys. Like, they have no Von Miller secondary is banged up

but they're fast and all we're doing is helping them out by these little dump passes and sweeps let's keep running the one thing that they know they can stop, why don't we challenge them downfield, try to get some PIs all these other teams try to do it I didn't get it

the plots that we have left before we go to the break, we have Buffalo versus KC for the one seed. Vault versus Cincy for that division. The Jets versus the field for seven seed. Giants, Washington, Seattle, you can only have two. NFC South, whatever the fuck's going to happen to that. And today Atlanta loses. So if the New Orleans beats Tampa tomorrow,

it's officially a giant clusterfuck as we predicted. Philly versus Minnesota for the one seed. And then the only other thing I had is like, it does seem like Baltimore or Miami will miss the playoffs just because the history of December, the last four weeks, there's always one

team that tanks. We're like, whoa! Just three weeks ago, they were in the driver's seat. Now they're playing for their lives. That would be my pick, one of those two teams. Yeah, I don't mind that. I don't want to lay on Miami too much

because they played the best defense in football. And they scored first. Yeah, their tackles were hurt. I mean, his stats, too, was going to look so much better than they were, right? The two long touchdowns. How many receivers did he miss? Really bad. At least 10, right?

Yeah. Yeah, it was no good. But again, maybe you get a pass if you play that 49ers team. It was pretty... When they announced that both tackles were in trouble, that wasn't great. Today, we had the A.J. Brown revenge game. Yeah. We had the today we had the aj brown revenge game yeah we had the

malik hooker revenge game in your game and we had the brock purdy uh god was always on my side game i guess uh we also had let's talk about the sean and then we'll go to break. He's great. He was good. Apologize to the Browns. It was a great signing. Took care of business. 27-14. Double digit win. What can you say? Yeah, he put up 27 points. Oh no, wait a second. Who scored those points? He was awful. He was so bad.

Yeah. 12 for 22. 131. One interception and just his timing was off all over the place. He was throwing grounders left and right. They weren't running him and Houston you know, Lovey Smith versus Stefanski was kind of an underrated checkers match.

There was some really dumb shit going on. Like the Browns ran for a safety at run point. Chubb, they just ran into the center's back and fell down and that was it. But the Texans are just so bad. Do you know how hard it is to cover eight and a half goddamn points without scoring an offensive touchdown?

You know how difficult it is? I'm so mad. Why did I have so much money on them? If they play anyone else, they lose that game by 21, the Browns. Who did you have money on? I had the Texans. I'm just addicted to betting bad team. Yeah, that was one of my

circles. I mean, get up for that game. Come on. Well, then the other one was the Rams almost beat the Seahawks. Right. And it started to feel like they might. Gino made a couple throws in traffic that each one felt like it was a pick,

but then his guy ended up catching it, and then they went down and scored. Maybe that's the team that goes away. Are you counting them? That could be the team. Are they good enough even to put in that category? Yeah, because it's two of Giants, Washington, Seattle. And I think that tie was actually really bad for Seattle.

Right. Because now there's a roadmap for those two teams could both go 10-5-1 or I'm sorry, 10-6-1 and Seattle goes 10-7 and then they don't make it. Right. And they have the 49ers, Chiefs and Jets and that meant within

the five left. Let's take a break. We'll do the Week 14 Guess the Lines. All right, Guess the Lines. We have six bye teams this week. Yeah, what is that? It should never be more than four. Yeah, I think... It should never be more...

I want them to give us the chance to do the schedule one year. Can you block out like four months you and I just sit in like a Shakey's and we do the schedule

for every team? I just think they should call us when it's stuff like, hey, do you guys think it makes sense if we had six bi-weeks in week 14? It's like, okay, that's a terrible idea. Well, how many did you have in week 13? Two. Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, have six then the following

week. Why don't you just go four and four, you morons? So it wreaks havoc with fantasy because, of course, this is the last fucking fantasy week before the playoffs. Exactly. Although Atlanta, Green Bay, Atlanta, Chicago, Green Bay, Indy. You're doing okay. New Orleans, Washington.

It's not a bad six in terms of fantasy. Yeah, you're right. That's fair. Thursday night, the Rams. I think the Rams are on TV the rest of the way, which is hilarious, unless they can get flexed. Oh, really? Thursday night, Rams Raiders. It's

in LA. It's going to be a lot of Raiders fans. The Rams are awful. Aaron Donald's not going to play. Stafford's out for the year. Cups nowhere to be seen. I don't lot of Raiders fans. The Rams are awful. Aaron Donald's not going to play. Stafford's out for the year. Cup's nowhere to be seen. The Rams guys that were making plays today, I was stupefied. Cam Akers, who they

tried to waive for like a month. Van Jefferson. It makes no sense how they're moving the ball at all. And you still have Jalen Ramsey screaming at guys. They're almost getting personal fouls. McVay was really into the game. It felt like it was his Super Bowl.

I think he would like to beat Carroll. I don't think he likes to lose to Carroll. Yeah, probably. Out of his hands at this point. I have the Raiders by four. All right, I get this. I said six. It's five and a half.

This is it. Now, right? Now everybody takes the Raiders on a teaser and they're going to lose money going into the week. It's going to be very sad. I'm going to be one of them. Sunday marquee. Would you have Bill's Jets in this spot

or would you have Eagles Giants? I don't want to give away... Wow. I'm just saying, what's a better game? I had Bills-Giants. I didn't know if I was going rogue. Yeah. This is in Buffalo. There might be another one in there

out of the three, but I say Minnesota-Detroit's pretty good too. I had that next group. All right. Jets beat the Bills already. We thought it was a huge fluke and a giant upset. And then it kind of turned out like,

no, actually the Jets might be all right. And now I think this is Bills by seven and a half. I get you here too. I said eight. It's nine and a half. Here we go. Come on.

Here we go. Come on now. What are our records, by the way? Don't worry about that. I would have said it in the beginning, but now we're too far into. Okay. You're six, three, and four. Six wins, three losses, four ties.

You're a little closer than I realized. I'm going to grab you this week. You're like the Raiders. You're just kind of lingering. The watchables, we got three. Mention the first one. Eagles. Eagles. Eagles Giants.

It's in New Jersey. Yep. I feel like I've lost money on the Eagles at least four times this year. Like somehow. Really? Betting against them? Yeah, somehow.

It's like I had the Titans today. It's like, oh no, this is the week. And it's, no, this actually isn't the week my whole stat we put out a chart everybody had the Titans over the best team in the NFC and I'm talking to you and House everybody's got

it's a weird thing I think it's like when you show up to a wedding like I don't understand when women are like oh man she wore the same thing as me at the wedding and I'm like oh who cares this is how I feel with a bet like no no you don't understand when women are like, oh, man, she wore the same thing as me at the wedding. And I'm like, oh, who cares? This is how I feel with a bet. I'm like, no, no, you don't understand. Simmons and I can't both be on the Titans.

They're going to lose. I know. Well, part of my theory was that everybody would be on the Eagles after how good they looked last week. But it was the opposite. Right, right. Everyone zagged. So it's kind of ruined my thing. I still, I know this is crazy.

Burks catches that touchdown and basically gets knocked out. And that was it. Because I really felt like they needed Burks in this game, and I thought it was going to be a higher scoring game. Once they lost him, they're not going to move the ball without Burks. Where is this Derrick Henry? It's too cold to tackle him. Why don't we start?

We're in December now. Let's get it going. 11 for 30. I have the Eagles by four and a half at the Giants. Oh, you went low here. I said seven and a half. It's six and a half. Man, I'm two points off all of these.

I got some bad ones coming up. Next one's Vikings-Lions. It's in Detroit. I was so proud of myself for staying away from the Jaguars today. Good. The Jaguars were just, you know, they unbut proud of myself for staying away from the Jaguars today. Good. The Jaguars were just, you know, they,

they unbuttoned their top blouse, top button on their blouse. And we're just like, did you see me last week? Right. Like, yeah, you look great.

And then all of a sudden you bet Doug Peterson and Trevor Lawrence on the road. I think Trevor Lawrence, if you're making the blouse, he officially needs a haircut. If you're making that analogy. Yeah. Fair.

Fair. But yeah, it's these sucker bets for analogy. Yeah. Fair. Fair. But yeah, it's these sucker bets for these. It's been all year. These. There's like 10 teams in there that if they've just won the last week, don't bet them the next week. I have the Vikings at Detroit.

I really thought about making Detroit favorite in this game because I don't think the odds makers like Minnesota, but I did a Vikings by one and a half. No, you get it. I said three. I thought it'd be a full three, but they don't give them any respect for a 10 and two team.

It's plus one. Detroit is a one point on their dock. So you get it. Okay. I have one more watchable, Sal. You're going to laugh. Seahawks hosting the Panthers. You love this Panthers

team. I like this game. I think this is going to be a fun game. I like watching the Seahawks. I enjoy them every week. I think the Panthers with rejuvenated Sam Darnold playing for their playoff lives. Maybe a game out in the NFC South. I don't know. I'll watch

this game. Probably have some money on it. It's in Seattle and I think Seattle is going to be favored by six and a half. Did we split this? Yeah, I said five and a half. It's six. Kenneth Wong, there was a weird thing. You don't see running backs yelling at quarterbacks, right? Did you see that?

K9? And then he was out of the game. That was strange. Maybe the Seattle's, maybe they are the free fall team. I was driving. I snuck off to go to cryo with Zoe during the late games for a half an hour. Oh my God. I'll explain why

during parent corner. Where's the leave meeting button? No, no, no. In parent corner will make sense. But I was listening to the Seahawks on Sirius now they have all the local broadcasters so I put on the Seahawks thing because I wanted to hear the Seahawks

game because I had them in tees and they had no running backs left that guy Tony Jones gets hurt he got kind of knocked out and the announcer's like oh we don't have any running backs left. The other guy's like, I don't think we do.

I think they had forgotten that DJ Dallas was still on the team. But he was like, he better come back. That's our last running back. And I'm like, I had the Seahawks and the Tees. They ran out of running backs? What happened? Cam Akers has scored two touchdowns on you. Don't worry about having a decent running back.

So I don't know what happens. What did they say with Walker? Is he playing next week? I think so. I don't know what. It didn't seem season-threatening. All right. Fairly watchable as they got five.

Bengals, home for Deshaun and the Browns. Mm-hmm. This is a absolute teaser. home for Deshaun and the Browns. This is a absolute teaser. No? Well, I can't give it away. I know what you're saying.

Well, Bengals by eight. Oh, good. All right. I said seven. It's four and a half. Oh, come on. What? I know. That's ugly. Oh, come on. What? I know.

That's ugly. Oh, my God. That's really ugly. We're betting that tonight. But we're all Joe Burrowed, right? We're all smoking cigars with Joe Burrow. But is this the Miles Garrett three sacks, two strip sacks, fumbled game? I don't know. I do worry a little bit.

Not because of Deshaun, but. That's stupid. They played this year, right? They definitely played. Yeah. Bengals are going to run all over them. This is Bengals 1-32-13, obviously. Oh, I'm sorry.

No. Oh, no. This was the Halloween game. Oh, yeah. Throw that out. It's Thursday night. Their coach had died the day before. Monday night. Oh, yeah. Throw that out. It's Thursday night. Their coach had died the day before. Monday night. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, what are we going to do? We're going to bet Cincinnati. I like the Bengals even more now. I think the Browns stink. Next one. Tennessee home for the Jags. I would say

this is a loser leaves town match for the Jags, but they already packed and they're gone and they didn't even leave a security deposit. That's it? So long. They left the blouse? So long, Jags. All right.

Titans 7-5. I have their over-under. I think I bet it. It was 8.5. And I thought that there was no way in hell that that would still be alive for me. You're nervous? Oh, yeah.

No, you got it. No, I mean, I would have thought the Titans were going to get to nine wins, right? Yeah, you still have the Texans. But I bet the under, I'm saying. Oh, I see. Oh, yeah, you're done. Yeah.

Am I? Well, they're going to beat the Texans. They're home for the Texans. They have the Jags twice. Yeah, I guess. I'm done. At the Chargers. I don't know.

It might be close. You might be able to hedge the last week. I just want to get to the hedge the last week and then screw up the hedge. That's my goal. I'll help you. That's why I'm here. Sal, what do I do? Do this.

All right, I'll do the opposite. I have Titans favored by five and a half at home against the Jags it should have been right I said five it's three and a half oh man

you're killing me this week I'm beating you here it's 6-2 now Jesus you better figure something out quickly but that's low well is there a line

for this Pittsburgh Baltimore game there is okay it's in Pittsburgh Well, is there a line for this Pittsburgh-Baltimore game? There is. Okay. It's in Pittsburgh. I continue to like this Pittsburgh team. Two wins in the last six days. And I have Pittsburgh favored by two and a half over the Ravens.

Let me just make sure they didn't pull it or didn't do anything stupid here. Okay. No, it is a pick'em. And I said plus one. Oh, you hit that one too. I got that one too. Pick'em and I said plus one oh you hit that one too I got that one too pick'em fuck you two pick'ems a year

love you can't lose we never have pick'ems what the hell they don't know what to think of this I mean it shouldn't shouldn't Huntley be better than Pickett

really honestly though right Huntley's one of those guys you can look at on a drive, but when you watch him for two hours, he's pretty limited. Yeah. Don't you think?

Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. Yeah, what are we betting with the Ravens if we bet them? Like when they go schoolyard Kyler with him, like in three minutes left, he looks better,

but when he actually has to run an offense, it's a little dicey. Yeah, the Broncos might be the only team he could beat at this point. Well, we have them coming up next. They're hosting the Chiefs in Denver. And this is

just the classic give you the hook to make you think about it. Chiefs by seven and a half. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. You got it closer than I did. I said ten and a half. It's eight and a half. You get it. Well, we got that.

I mean, that's a teaser. That's a teaser game. The Broncos are so bad this year that even when they cut into them in the red zone, it's one of those things where it's like, let's go to Denver where it's fourth and one for the Broncos. And then it's like a hard count followed by a timeout.

Scott Hanson or whoever's like, let's go to Jacksonville. They can't even be fun in the red zone. Every team should have their own red zone. It's not fair that it's the 20-yard line and in. Denver red zone should be if they pass their own 37.

Yeah, it should be midfield. Things are happening. They're in field goal range at altitude. Yeah, right. 49ers are home for the goes in there. They're in field goal range at altitude. Yeah, right. 49ers are home for the Bucs. Dark Eye Brock Purdy. I was way off here. Way off.

If you don't steal this one, you don't have a chance. Well, it can't be higher than three and a half. So I'm going to say 49ers by three and a half. All right. You still get it

and you were off three points. It's six and a half. I said three. Six and a half. All right. You still get it and you were off three points. It's six and a half. I said three. Six and a half. Brock Purdy against Tom Brady. Six and a half. The league is drunk.

Does Brock Purdy need a nickname? What do we call him? BP? The Purdster? I don't know. I don't know if he's earned

a nickname. I'm in. I'm getting more in the vibes, man. Is it Mr. Relevant and all over again? He's Mr. Relevant. Maybe that's who he is. Now he's earned a nickname. I'm getting more in the vibes, man. Is it Mr. Relevant and all over again? He's Mr. Relevant. Maybe that's who he is.

Now he's Mr. Relevant. Six and a half against Tom Brady. Mr. Relevant taking on. And they'll be like, Tom Brady, you know, once upon a time, he was six pick. Yeah. He was almost, or six rounder. All right, Poopfecta. I have to hit these last three.

Only one Poopfecta game that involves your team. The Dallas Cowboys. You might get there. I didn't do well on these last three, so go ahead. Yeah.

Dallas at home against the Texans. This is the worst rivalry that should be a good rivalry, right? Yeah. Houston versus Dallas in football should be this amazing, bad blood, Jerry Jones trading insults with the owner every year

and all this stuff. I remember losing a lot of money on the first game was Sunday night in Houston. Their first franchise game ever, Houston, when they came back to Houston. And the Cowboys were only giving six. It was a Sunday night. I was like, oh boy. I asked

the wife, how much do we have in the checking account? She lied to me. I bet it all on the Cowboys. They lost on the field. She was wise to lie. Yeah, you're right. Other than that, should be a better rivalry. I have Cowboys by 14.

You get it. I said 16 and a half. It's 14 and a half. They just won 54-19. What are they going to do to Kyle Allen or whoever's back there? Come on. Sunday night. Dolphins-Chargers. Yeah. Probably not a loser-leaves-town match for the Chargers because I still feel like 10-7 can get there, but man, there's just something missing with that team. And maybe it's because they just never seem to have everyone healthy.

Like, no Mike Williams today. They've had injuries on the offensive line. They're always missing like three guys, but they don't have that mojo that they had where I feel like Herbert, Oh, Herbert's going to pull one out. It's like the opposite. Now you're waiting for him to screw up in some way,

or there's bad omens with them or, Oh, Oh, here's missed field goal there. We got that out of the way. I don't, I don't think they have it this year. It's interesting.

The last two weeks they played teams a lot like themselves, right? They played Arizona. How do we figure out this game? Same thing with the Raiders. Yeah. I think the Dolphins are favored in this game. And I actually think there's going to be a lot of Miami fans at this game.

I know we say that every time there's an LA home game, but there's like a weird amount of Miami fans here. We know a couple of them. If the amount is 11, it's going to be more than Chargers fans. No such thing as a weird amount anymore. Yeah. I have the Dolphins favored by two and a half.

Wow. This is going to suck. I'm going to blow a big lead here. I said three and a half because that's what it should be. It's one and a half. Oof. So it's now seven, six and you can tie me Monday night.

Cardinals hosting New England Patriots. This game is in Guatemala, you know, right? No. This game's in Hungary. That's right. Moved it to Qatar.

Yeah. I think Arizona's gonna be favored and we've seen this line all season for some reason and I don't remember ever seeing it as much as we've seen it this year

and I think we're gonna see it again Cardinals by two and a half I pulled it out I said pick them because I was getting a headache and I know you don't

like pick them your Patriots are favored by one oh come on really I pulled it out. I said pick them because I was getting a headache and I know you don't like pick them. Your Patriots are favored by one. Oh, come on. Really? Why? My team's favored? That's it. That's ridiculous.

You're in the playoff hunt. You're six and six. My team stinks. In the better conference. See my team? My team has our 23-year-old quarterback screaming at our defensive coordinator who's not our defensive coordinator because he's our fucking offensive coordinator. All right, but with 10 days rest, can he win?

I mean, come on. Although Arizona was off, right? Oh, interesting. Anyway, 6-4-4. I'll take it. Let me tell you something. We haven't beaten a team that has a quarterback that can run around all season. Who was it? The Cardinals, they're a mess.

Fields, Lamar, Josh Allen. Hasn't happened yet. Pick more right. Like if we played the Giants, Danny Dimes would rush for like 180 yards on us. Wow. I like your team here. There was a good piece in the Boston Globe about the Pats. I think Ben Volan wrote it about how the Pats went against something

that they never did for 20 years was they went for quick fix shit with that free agency spend from two years ago when they splurged on all those receivers and tight ends. And now we throw for five yards of pass. But it was Belichick, like the pandemic, he kind of lost it. We went down this weird direction and now we have this weird team that doesn't make sense

with slow linebackers. I don't know. I'm just looking. Have you lost three games in a row? I think it's going to happen. You've not lost three games in a row. I don't think ever because it didn't happen last year. With Cam Newton, I think it's going to happen. You've not lost three games in a row. I don't think ever because it didn't happen last year. No, we did with Cam Newton.

I think we did. The Cam year. Everyone forgets about it. You did? What year was that? We had a bad record that year. Yeah. We didn't have a good record that year.

That's right. That's right. All right. But it's been a while. Okay. You know, Kyle texted me on Thursday night. He said, I finally lost faith in Mac Jones. Really? Yeah. you know Kyle texted me on Thursday night he said I finally lost faith in Mac Jones

really? Kyle you said that? yeah he did Kyle you said it he was drunk though I don't know if he was drunk he might be drunk right now he doesn't want to come on now I think parent corner could be about how Kyle

and his dad went to the frolic room today. Uh-oh. Yeah. That's the word in the street. All right. You beat me. So now you're two games back. I'm excited.

Sixth form. That's how it should be. Come on. You know, these bye weeks with less games are always an advantage for the weaker team. Right. Less games. More variance. I think I got you distracted.

You're watching NBA, of course, as usual. You're pretending to be into soccer. There's a lot going on. How much soccer did you watch over the weekend? I'm watching all of it. But what I'm not doing is pretending to be an expert. I'm fine with it.

I'm proud of them and whatever. But I'm not going to go crazy. You get in there. I know you watch your daughter's team and everything, but you don't know anything about this team, this men's team. You don't watch them. I watch them. I watch their qualifiers.

I know their team. Oh, come on. I get mad about things like why isn't Yedlin playing and shit like that. Our wingmen are unbalanced, and it's leading to, I don't understand, but the substitutions are making me crazy. You don't have to be smart about everything. You know, basketball and football. That's good.

Well, I know things like Aronson should play more. Be like, if Dallas was like, where's C.D. Lamb? Oh, they're not going to bring him in until halfway through the third quarter. You'd be like, that's weird. Do you really watch his team? You watch his team? Yeah, Aronson's good. Aronson, Reina, I don't know if he was

actually hurt or not. There's conflicting reports, but it just never felt like we were playing our best guys together. You could be saying anything now. Look, I bet the 0-0s. I'm just strictly looking at numbers here. I'm not pretending to be an expert, but 0-0 first half was really good last week to me. I wouldn't

have survived football otherwise. Here's what you need to know about soccer. You need somebody who can put goals in the net. You watch these other teams and it's like, oh, Mbappe looks pretty good. He had a shot from 25 yards. He just put it in. I feel like he's a cherry picker. I feel like he's a cherry picker. You don't like Mbappe? No, he's fine. I just feel like as on-sides as you can be without being off-sides, that's what he is. But that's just from watching him. Can you say cherry picker?

We're going to find out. That's getting canceled in 2025. Okay, good. Yeah, so people who are allergic to cherries are offended. The cherry pickers were really… So have you bet on every World Cup game? Yeah, yeah. I lost with Senegal today.

There has to be an upset, right? They can't just take all favorites coming through. Switzerland has to win or Morocco has to beat Spain or something coming up. But again, I know nothing. I actually thought Poland was going to get a little frisky and then that didn't happen. I like their uniforms.

Lewandowski's on that team. The other thing with the basketball was Davis is on a fucking heater now. What do you have, 55 tonight? All of a sudden, he's like one of the best five players in the league again. And the Lakers,

who I think to make the playoffs, what were they like? Plus 500 at one point? When they were two and three? Oh, yeah, yeah. Plus 400? The odds went crazy on them. Yeah. And now they're at least probably a playing team really just like that well okc is going to be out in houston and san antonio and and i think utah falls off

so there would be between them and sac and Portland and then Dallas, if anything weird happens to Luca, probably. And maybe the Clippers. I went to Clippers Kings on Saturday and, and the Kawhi

and Paul George were in street clothes. Norman Powell, like the Clippers didn't have like four of their best guys, but Kawhi is like almost mid-December.

He still doesn't play. Right. So I don't know what they might, they could fall out. Somebody weird's going to follow the West. All right.

You want to do Parent Corner? Yeah, let's do it. All right. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by CarMax. If you're looking for a car, CarMax has the perfect mix of online and online shopping

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I'm about to break down the fourth Winter Wonderland wall here. So the elf on the shelf, right? So you've been done with this stupid thing for years, right? Thank God. Your youngest is what? 16? Right?

15, yeah. 15, okay. So you're good. My going to be nine-year-old at the end of the month, I think. I don't know when his birthday is. It might be in March. No, he's going to be nine at the end of the month. He says something about, he's like, are we going to do the elf again?

I was like, ooh, this is good. This is good. Are we going to do the elf? That makes me think he knows now. And this thing, which is the bane of my existence, I have to set an alarm every night at like 1130 after he's sleeping. So I move this thing. I was like, well, what do you mean?

Are we going to do it again? He's like, well, I know it's a doll. I was like, oh, thank you, God. Thank you, God. I'm like, okay, good. So, you know, like we don't have to put him out and he doesn't have to move around. He's like, no, it's fine. I get it.

Because I know it's just a doll. And I said, great, because it's good for him too, right? Because the gig is like you have to behave. This thing is watching you and then he has to actually has to behave, but he doesn't because he gets whatever he wants. He's a spoiled brat.

So this is only on me to move the thing, right? This is all it is. So now we've come to this agreement. He's like, he's like, I get it, dad. It's fine. I'm like, good, beautiful. No more elf. We're done.

You're nine. You don't believe it. The next morning, he's like almost in tears. And I said, what, what happened? He says, I lost a tooth and the tooth fairy didn't come and give me money. I was like, and I look at Melissa, I'm like, he lost a tooth. She's like, yeah, yeah. I forgot to tell you he lost a tooth. I said, all right, I'm knocking it all out here. I was like, you don't believe the elf isn't moving. You believe it's a doll and everything,

but you actually still think that there's a fairy that flies into our house down the chimney or whatever while you're sleeping, replaces your cruddy teeth with money. Like, come on. Like this is, and I basically said that. I'm like, she was mad. He's like, well, I just, I don't know. I just thought it was going to be money. So now he's like, he doesn't believe in the tooth fairy, but he wants the money.

He believes in the money. He believes in the money. I'm like, okay. So I don't know. Cause I was going through my head. I'm like, what am I going to say? Is there was a supply chain shortage? The Tooth Fairy didn't make it or something.

So now I'm like, no Tooth Fairy, no elf on the shelf. I could just leave money. Do I go for the big one? Do I go for the big guy, the fat guy with the beard? Oh, take out Santa. I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. But there'd be a lot of crap.

I mean, that makes the least sense out of anything. I would keep Santa going as long as you can. Oh, really? Oh, he's going to be nine. Santa's fun. Come on. Give him one more year of Santa. Well, he'll be telling, he'll look at the chimney and he'll just be like, wait a second.

How does that guy fit through the chimney? This is stupid. Right. Then I'll figure it out. I know. But he asked for obscure gifts that I say they don't sell on Amazon. And he's like,

yeah, but Santa's elves are going to make it for me. And I'm like, ah, this would be nice to just do away with this now. All right, I'll keep the Santa. The tooth fairy's out, elf on the shelf is out.

So I'm good. I figured out Santa when I was like five or six. You did. I just did the math of all the houses and the amount of minutes in the night and I realized it was impossible.

Right. Just on your street, it would be impossible. Yeah, I was like, all right, so one second per, and it was like, even if it's one second per house. And I was like,

this can't be real. Well, that's my thing. I'm like, you know, kids are going to make fun of them. I tell my wife, this is bad, you know? So I'm trying to make fun of them. I tell my wife, this is bad, you know, so I'm trying to make it like I'm,

I'm a savior here. But anyway, my parent corner is I've been up since three 15 this morning. This is like a, a really heroic effort by me on the pot. I've been up for 18 hours already as we're taping this. So my daughter, you know,

on the weekends, my daughter's like 17 and a half. She's senior in high school and she'll go out and she'll be like, Hey, I'm going to go and either she'll Uber or she'll take a car if she's not drinking and she doesn't really drink. Um, but she went out last night just to hang out with some friends and she's like, when do I have to be back? And I'm always like, I don't know, 1230. And my wife gets mad. She's like, she's going to be in college in eight months. Like, it's got to, the curfew's got to go up.

Like, think about when you were in high school. You weren't coming back at 1230. I'm like, God, you're right. I was out till 2, 230. You're right. So I'm like, all right, can you be home, you know, 2, 215 range? But what happens is I'll fall asleep at like 12.30, 12.45. But then I'll wake up panicked at 2.30, whatever, thinking she's not home.

And I'll look at my watch, which then the watch, I meant my iPhone. And you turn the iPhone on and it's like a dark room and like blinds you, right? It's like the worst thing you can do is like look at an iPhone in the middle of iPhone on, it's like a dark room and like blinds you. Right. It's like the worst thing you can do is like look at an iPhone in the middle of the night, set them up. And then I look at her life 360 and it says she's in the house. I'm like, all right, great. She's in the house. All right, good. I'm going to go back to bed. And then I just lie there. And on top of that, I've been sick. So I've been on these steroids that make my heart, finally today was the last day. So I was just lying in bed and I'm just mad.

And I'm like, God damn it. I should have just slept through it. Why did I have to look? I know she was going to be home and I'm just up and I'm watching TV and I'm watching like behind the music on Paramount Plus. I'm watching like a Hall and Oates behind the music at 4.30 in the morning, 5.30. I'm like, oh, fuck it. I'll wake up and I'll just go look at the lines and make coffee.

And I make coffee and I'm watching Lifetime, some movie called, it was like dad has two families or something on the Lifetime thing. This guy who had a family in America in Paris. I'm like, this is great. I'm having coffee and nobody's up. And France was playing, right? And then France came on at seven. I'm like, all right,

I'm going to tape the rest of this Lifetime movie. I'll watch France. I'll watch studio things. I'm like, this is awesome. By 8.30, I'm exhausted. And I'm like, this is the dumbest thing ever.

And I've been up ever since. And I had like a giant coffee at 4.30. That's why I went to cry out. I was like, maybe cry will wake me up. And my point is, it's really hard when you have these kids that you think are these little kids, but now they're like driving around

and you feel like, I don't like going to bed when they're not here. It's weird. Well, I think keep the midnight curfew until she's going to college, then let her change her own curfew in college, right? I mean, when you're in curfew, when does Archie come home? No, but I know we do try to make it like 12 or 1230, but he's like, I don't know. He's more manageable. But honestly, the answer

to that is when you were out till 2 or 230, you knew you were up to no good, right? Like, oh yeah, that's why they have to come back at 12. But here there's driving yeah maybe i should make it one o'clock she doesn't she's not like one of those people though ben if ben was like i'm gonna be out to two i'd be like wait i'd be like following him in an unmarked car yeah holland oats would have nothing to do with it then yeah well it's tough now because you do have the 360 so you can tell if they're home, but you also, there's the ring, the ring app.

And like, if, uh, if like a, uh, a coyote walks by, you freak out, right? Like,

and you're waiting for your kid to come home. It's a lot, a lot to navigate. I got one more. I got a side thing, friend corner. So Holy cross made the final eight and I was going to go back and I couldn't cause of some family stuff.

And a couple of my roommates from college went to the game. Pouring rain. Like classic. Like we went to school in Worcester, Massachusetts where you go and you visit

and it's like April and it's beautiful and then you're there and it's November and it's like 30 degree winds and pouring rain. So we beat New Hampshire. We kill them.

And next week is it is either going to be South Dakota State or Delaware. So we're rooting for Delaware because we're like, if it's Delaware, we're all going to go. It's easy. We'll fly. The house will come and like the whole thing.

I bet South Dakota State. They killed them. They win like 50 to six. Yeah. So now we're looking at the South Dakota State thing. And like 30 years ago, we're like, we're going to South Dakota State, figure it out. But now we're looking at the South Dakota state thing. And like 30 years ago, we're like, we're going to South Dakota state, figure it out. But now we're older and you start looking at it. There's no direct flights. You got to fly to like Minnesota or Chicago and then connect.

So then it's like, well, what's the weather next week? And it's like a 40% chance of snow. So I called Jack up this morning and we talked it out and it's thinking like, all right, we fly to Minnesota, four hour drive from Minnesota

to Brookings, South Dakota. We get there. They lose to South Dakota like 40 to 20, like worst case scenario football game.

Then we're on an Applebee's in Brookings, wherever the fuck South Dakota State is, just kind of commiserating the game before we drive four hours back to Minnesota where we're staying. And we're like, we're not doing this. This is stupid. But like age 24, we would have done it. We wouldn't have thought of any of the worst case scenarios. We'd be like, yeah, Brookings, Friday, we'll get there. We'll drive. And the older you get, you just start thinking

of reasons not to do stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you would be able to skip cryo. It's probably two degrees there, right? Yeah. Brookings has a cryo. I checked.

They had a really good cryo center right next to the thing. Did you guess the line for that game? Did you look? No. Can we do it? Well, I haven't. Do you have it? Yeah. You want to guess?

I would say it's probably South Dakota by 10 and a half yeah 14 and a half oof our team's good man we have a good team I know but you got to stay back but the Dakotas win every year

oh yeah yeah North Dakota yeah I mean if you lose 31-10 that's a miserable miserable outing right except you get to see the friends

Jack Holy Cross is 12-0 for the first time in a long time. I'm very proud of my program. Our coach Chesney, we've rebuilt something and no other college can try to hire him.

I'm just putting that out there. We could beat Gonzaga for football in the East Coast. We can beat all these other teams with more academic skills. I don't know. We have something going. I hope he stays. You may have to

subsidize that a little bit. Should I have Spotify? Maybe I get the Swedes to cut him some side money. Are you a booster anyway? Officially or no? I think I'm going to become a booster. I think this is my destiny. Like JT Walsh and Blue Chips. There you go. anyway, officially or no? I think I'm going to become a booster. Yeah, I think this is my destiny. Do it.

Like JT Walsh and Blue Chips. There you go. Simmons the booster. Yeah, he's really just a soccer expert, but let him boost the college football team. I have some opinions on prongs in the offense. We should use prong forwards. Did I give you my prong forward thing?

I thought we should use two forwards, not three. Prong forward. All right. That's it for Parent Corner. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by CarMax. Everyone should have the confidence that they bought the right car. And the CarMax 30-day money-back guarantee means you get to take the time you need to make sure you found your perfect match up to 1,500 miles.

See CarMax.com for details. CarMax. Car buying. Reimagine. All right. What do you got to put? Against the Lods tomorrow. Minus three extra points. Waverwired.

Lemon Pepper Parlay. Megan Fund of Sports. Covering Glory. All found on the Extra Points Podcast Network. Picking the game. The side. The total. A prop. And first touchdown tomorrow against the Lods. I like the Saints. I'll tell you. I do like the Saints to cover this. I also like the Saints.

We saw each other Friday. We went to Bianco Pizza. Really good. Bianco Pizzeria in downtown LA. He brought us an entire pepperoni pie. Did you post that on Instagram? I didn't. I should, right? I'll post it tonight.

I'll do it on my thing. I'll do it tonight. And then he brought us two green slices and we each had four slices and I was like a fucking mess the rest of the day I don't even know what to say about the green like what is it? It's pesto but I'm not going to do it justice it's excellent though

it almost tastes like cream spinach if cream spinach didn't taste spinachy yeah right it's the same consistency of it but it's way more delicious anyway we had a ton of pizza and uh and strategized for football playoffs and all that stuff and we ended up betting the titans and that was and then strategized the titans look great let's take them pizza doesn't help i guess i was like i love washington they're gonna come through and do giants. I did hit on

Vegas and on Pittsburgh. You did? And then I hit on Cincy. So I actually had a sort of winning lead. We should have just done stupid. Let's just look at it. France is going to advance. Argentina's going to advance. And the Cowboys. That's what we should have done this week. Why are we screwing

around? Lakers against... Oh, and Celtics were going to beat the Nets. That's what we should have done this week. Why are we screwing around? Lakers against... Oh, and Celtics were going to beat the Nets. That was a lock. Too fast for the Nets. By the way, Kyrie, after the game, remember when the Nets would beat the Celtics and then he would stay on the court and shake hands with everybody? Right. He was 7 for

21 and minus 16, walked right off the court. Really? We beat them by 13. It's like, where's Kyrie? I thought we were going to have some hugs and some handshakes. Interesting. He's gone. He probably went to Temple. Who knows? Temple. All right, cuz. Good job by you. Good job by you, Billy.

All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Cousin Sal. Thanks to Nephew Kyle. Kyle Creighton for producing. As always, don't't forget I have a new episode on the Prestige TV podcast White Lotus episode 6 you can find that after you finish this one and new rewatch was coming on Monday night

as well we'll see you on this feed on Tuesday I don't have