The Bill Simmons Podcast - NFL Wisdom, 'Key and Peele' 2.0, Eddie Murphy Stories, and 'Predator' in 2018 With Joe House and Keegan-Michael Key | The Bill Simmons Podcast (Ep. 414)

Episode Date: September 14, 2018

HBO and The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Joe House to make some gambling picks for NFL Week 2 (3:43). Then Bill sits down with actor Keegan-Michael Key to talk 'Key and Peele,' Eddie Murphy stories, 'The Predator,' and remaking movies (53:20). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode of Friday Rollin' on the BS Podcast, on the Ringer Podcast Network, brought to you by our friends at ZipRecruiter. You know what's not smart? Having Deshaun Kaiser as your backup QB when you have Aaron Rodgers and your season's screwed anyway if Aaron Rodgers gets hurt. You know what is smart? Listening to ZipRecruiter. There's a smart way to not be overwhelmed with tons of the wrong resumes. It's our friends at ZipRecruiter. They find people with the right skills for the right jobs and actively invite them to apply. You get qualified candidates very fast. They are rated number one by employers in the US based on Trustpilot rating of hiring sites with at least a thousand reviews. My

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It's Friday and I can't speak because I'm Friday rolling. To get started, go to rocketmortgage.com slash Bill Simmons. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network where we put up just a slew of good podcasts this week, including a rewatchables. Sean Fantasy and I, we did rounders, but we had, I mean, man, we had, I'm looking at the list right now. Two new ringer NFL shows. Larry Wilmore had Eric Holder.

JJ Redick had Hasan Minhaj. Dave Chang talked with Vivek Garapalli about the power of taking risks. Joe House on House of Carbs state fairs. Cousin Sal against all odds. Week one bets. Channel 33 talked about Colin Kaepernick on damage control Ryan Rosillo that was week three of that one man we just have a lot of good podcasts one other thing to check out our Instagram is getting better and better the ringer Instagram yesterday we sent Haley

O'Shaughnessy to some event and it's really funny and she's getting it. Check that out. We were trying to put new stuff up in all kinds of ways. Kevin Clark's thing on, he's doing the worst pics ever that we're putting on, on Twitter and on YouTube. Check out all our stuff. If you like the site, if you like the podcast,

I promise you're going to like the social and the videos. Cause we really started to figure it out on that end. Coming up a little Friday, wrong with Joe House and our favorite week two picks. And then Keegan-Michael Key back. He came back with, he was there with Jordan Peele in 2016. He's never been here solo. We talked about a lot of fun stuff. That's a good one. First, our friends from Pearl Jam. of fun stuff that's a good one first our friends from pearl gym all right joe House on the line. I'm not sure we're doing this every Friday, but at least the first couple Fridays.

It's time to Friday Roll, Joe House. How are you? Yeah, it's old school Friday Roll, and I'm great. Feels like we should start off with a little bit of accountability. What's that? Give the public, well, just let everybody know we got together last week we gave out six selections we went three and three kind of as is our way i gave out four picks i mean i gave out two you gave out four but i liked a couple of yours and uh you know the saints

effed america that's really the bottom line to all of this the saints have to america and the biggest thing was one of my picks was the Bears money line with the Saints actually. But you laughed, you scoffed at me. You made all kinds of jokes. I was up 17, nothing. I was so ready to rub it in your face. And then Mitch Trubisky, Trubisky me. And then that- No, he didn't. Mitch. Not Mitch. Mitch Trubisky'd me. And then the dude on the Bears dropped the game-winning interception, which kind of got glossed over in the whole, oh, my God, Aaron Rodgers.

See the goat. It's like, if that dude catches the interception, we're not talking about Aaron Rodgers on Monday. But that's always the way. That happens. That's football. Well, we knew somebody. We knew a big money line underdog last week was going to pay off big.

It turned out to be the Bucs. Not only did they pay off big. I think they were like plus 360 or plus 380, something like that. They also demolished a bunch of elimination pools. They demolished parlays. They demolished teasers. I loved it. I stayed stayed away i didn't i didn't get in there and it wasn't for any reason other than just being overwhelmed by the week one

slate but it was one where i was so happy i i didn't get in on any of the action you were prescient you said on this very podcast that there is going to be one of these you know big uh spreads a team is going to come out and cover it and maybe even win and we just couldn't figure out what what would we what would have been the indicator to us other than the fact that sean payton and the saints uh historically start off slow but what would have been the indicator to us that Ryan Fitzpatrick would come out and, and drop all that bearded glory. I know we should have, I was scared.

I remember on the South podcast, I was a little scared of them, but they, you know, they do have really receivers and they can score some points. And it was a weird game. It just, the flow of it was strange.

The bucks kept scoring and then some weird stuff. And then all of a sudden the saints were way behind. And it was a little like the Ravens-Bengals game last night where I actually think the Bengals are a better team. But that game got out of hand for the Ravens. And all of a sudden it was kind of almost unwinnable. They ended up clawing back and making it at least a little close. But sometimes, you know, sometimes that happens in football. You try not to overreact.

I was driving in this morning and was hearing Coward talking about the Final Four last year. None of them were 2-0 after the first two games last year. And, you know, it goes back to the lesson of don't overreact to September. I know it. Do not do it. I want to include a very quick complaint about last night's game. Part of the reason that the Ravens were able to hang around was because they had two pass interference penalties in the end zone.

I thought last night's game was officiated horrendously on both sides of the ball. I understand on a short week, teams being sloppy and, and, and, you know, not being ready. There's no excuse for the refs to suck. I know Joe Flacco. We were talking, uh, we were in the NFL Slack last night talking about Flacco. Just when things aren't going his way and he's throwing the ball all over the place,

he just starts going for PIs. You know, he's doing it too. He's just chucking it 40 yards downfield. The Bengals basically whiffed on an interception when it was 28-7. He threw it in a triple coverage and the guy jumped through and it somehow went through his hands and got caught.

And that led to 28-14. But I didn't think the Ravens played very well. At the same time, I don't want to overreact to September. The bigger thing for me, the Bengals look like a pretty live AFC North pick. And Sal and I were on them before the year at plus 750. The most intriguing game for me this weekend. What are you doing? Are you shuffling through papers?

What's going on over there? Me? You know, it could be the hypersensitivity of the Apple earphones. It's not often that I'm using these headphones and microphone. Jesus. I mean, I'm not really moving, but they're really picking up a lot of action. They really are. I'm excited to hear this selection.

I'll try and sit still. No. I would say the Pittsburgh KC game is the biggest. I can't wait to learn more about those two teams games because the line is off. It seems like I thought it was going to be Steelers by three. Steelers are home. Maybe even I pick Steelers two and a half. Um, and the line is actually, what is it now?

It's, it's, uh, I saw five and a half. Steelers by five. Five, okay. So people came out of that Chiefs game and instead of saying, wow, this team is super explosive. There's stuff happening here and this team's going to score a lot of points. They actually went the other way and did the whole, well, their defense, if the Chargers catch two balls, they've given up five touchdowns and 500 plus yards and that defense is awful. And it's weird. The Chiefs won a road game against a team that a lot of people are picking to win the AFC and somehow came off worse from it. And meanwhile, the Steelers were in this shit show in Cleveland. Roethlisberger looked horrific.

They don't have Le'Veon Bell. I don't think their defense looks good. I thought the Browns had a lot of chances to do some stuff in that game. And between Hugh Jackson and Tyrod Taylor was just really reprehensible in that game. I'm shocked by this line. And I'm going to make that my first pick, House. I think the Chiefs are getting too many points. I think they can win this game, and either way, I think they're going to put up points.

So I'm taking Chiefs plus five, a full unit on that one. Okay. Well, I'm going to not talk you out of it, but I talked myself out of that pick. I, too, thought that line looked very enticing. It looked inflated. And then I ran across a trend line and you know my way. I like to look for these angles and these trends, Bill Simmons, when we're Friday rolling.

And I encountered a stat that I did not like. Here it is. Three teams this week are playing their second road game to begin the season. Those three teams, the Houston Texans, the Seattle Seahawks, and unfortunately the Kansas City Chiefs. In the past three years, if you play against teams in this position, there have been 12 such

games in the past three years where teams open up on the road. If you played against them, you would be 12-0 right now. Great. It's time for the streak to end i have my man pat come on homie it could be matt pat my homies my homie that's why it's the only thing that made me tap the brakes now the chief's defense was uh i used the word execrable i'm gonna try and use

that every podcast until i'm able to say it i'm going to keep using it along and yeah extra crumble they were bad that was a bad Chiefs defense and there is a noticeable difference in the comfort level for Ben Roethlisberger between the road and home and that game was well in hand last week in Cleveland I regard the turnovers by Pittsburgh as kind of a fluke. And they should have won that game by double digits. Six turnovers. How could it be a fluke?

They turned the ball over six times. What are you talking about? That's an aberration is what I'm saying. You wouldn't expect that. That aberration is what let the Browns into the game. I didn't think... I just don't think Pittsburgh's defense is that good. They can rush the passer.

I thought guys were open the whole game on Cleveland. I think the speed on KC is going to be a real problem. I actually had a really good feel for the league last week. A lot of the things that, a lot of the teams that I liked came through. A lot of like the kind of under the radar teams I thought stepped up that I believed in. A lot of the teams that I liked came through a lot of like the kind of under, under the radar teams I thought stepped up that I believed in. And a lot of the teams that I thought sucked didn't come through. I mean, it didn't come through and sucked on this pod. I went two and two,

but I actually did better than that with when it was actually gambling, especially on Monday night and last night. And I was really excited for this slate because I was like, I really feel like I have a nice feel for the league right now. And then you go through the games, and I just didn't like the matchups at all. I really had trouble getting the three games. Did you have three games you liked? I only came up with two, and one of them is kind of a cop-out.

But I will say you did have a good feel. I'd like to go ahead and introduce America to our pooper contest this year, if I may. You and I, we have been, year over year, active participants in, regular participants in the Westgate Super Contest. We weren't able to make it to Vegas this year year so sal is the only of our triumvirate that is actually entered with a legit um paid for entry in the super contest but i i proposed to to you and sal that we have our own pooper contest i know i was so used i was so mad i would have gone five and oh it was like of course the one year i don sign up, I would have gone five and oh in the contest to start the year. Really frustrating.

Wait, let me look at this. You had Bengals, Chiefs, Panthers, Rams and Bears. Yeah, all those teams covered. That was a five and oh, that's right. Sal and I went three and two. I'm going to insist. I'm going to keep sending you my picks. You and Sal my picks.

We know what pick Sal's gonna make so i'm just gonna insist that you you make picks and we're gonna have our pooper contest and i'll actually keep track of it i'm worried about sal sal is on this he's on this gambling show and he's so deep into it he is going like his initial instinct the backlash to the instinct the instinct beyond the instinct he the instinct beyond the instinct. He's like in the fucking matrix and he's overthinking everything. He's, he's gotta get back to the basics. I'm going to take them out.

We're going to go somewhere over eat. I'm going to make them puke and then he'll be right back to center. He took, he took Matt Patricia and the lions as his first big pick on a show. Oh my God. I hate to take a victory lap on Matt Patricia, but I'm going to do it anyway. I,

I never understood what he brought to the table. I never understood why he was a genius. All we did was bend, but don't break. We fell behind in every Superbowl we've ever, we've ever played him with him as the defensive coordinator, the Eagles completely demolished us last thing and then you watch the Pats this year in week one and so much more

aggressive and and then you watch Detroit and they just like like a complete fucking mess um which which brings me to my just you oh no you you're we're gonna have the same second pick. We're going to have the same pick here. No, we're not because I'm going in a different direction. Oh. I like this Pats defense this year. This is one of the only games I really like this week. All right. Yeah, the Pats in Jacksonville.

The line is right now P Pat's favored by one. And anybody who's listening to this podcast knows that I'm actually exceedingly realistic about the Patriots when I'm actually picking them, betting on them. I picked the Eagles in the Super Bowl last year. I did not understand why the Pats were favored by four and a half. I think their defense is good this year. I think it's legit good. I think it's like pick them up in fantasy level good. I just think they have speed again.

They got some guys back. They made a couple good draft picks. They have... Every time I say something exciting, your Apple headphones just start vibrating. Well, because I start breathing heavy. You can hear me breathe. They're just good defensively. I was really impressed by how they played last

week. And I think they made Houston look a little bit worse than maybe Houston is. Houston had some offensive line issues. So people are looking at this game and they're worried about the Pats running backs. They're worried about the receivers. Well, first of all, Dorsett was really good last week. And I think they've kind of unlocked Dorsett. He's another guy I would pick up in fantasy if he's still available in your league. I think teams thought Dorsett was like this deep threat. And because he's so fast, it's like, oh, we'll just have this guy,

you know, basically send him flying down all over the field. And he's actually a slot receiver. And I think they've unlocked that now. And he was good. Chris Hogan got shut down last week, which was fine because they were able to spread around with Gronk. I think Brady will be able to do enough offensively to kind of carry them along. And really, I think the defense with Fournette's hurt, the Jags, their receivers, I was not impressed with what I saw from that Giants game with the way they moved the ball. And this just feels like a kind of 20 to 14, 20, 23 to 12, 23 to 17 type of

not a fun game, ugly game. But I think the Pats win this one. So that's my second pick. I like it. And I like the rationale. I, too, was very underwhelmed. The Jaguars had multiple opportunities in the fourth quarter of that Giants game. I watched the entire fourth quarter just to see, because I think the Jaguars are going to be pretty great this season. I almost took them in our wins pool at the eighth spot because I think they might win 12 games this season. But I wanted to see that the reason i didn't take them is

because i i couldn't in good conscience have any of my hard-earned american cash riding on the proposition of a game in the balance uh one way or the other and blake bortles having to deliver an outcome for me so i watched with great interest that fourth quarter when the Jaguars had multiple opportunities to slam the door on the Giants, and they couldn't move the ball a lick, and I was very happy. I was relieved.

I breathed a great sigh of relief that I didn't put any of my fate in the hands of Blake Bortles, and they counted on their defense to close out that game. It's a great effing defense, and it worked. I mean, we made a lot of fun of Eli in the preseason, and there was a good reason to do so.

Well, so that's how they win this game against the Pats. I think they have to hold the Pats 17 points or under because I just don't think they have enough offense. The biggest problem for them right now, especially with a Lee out is they, they just don't have enough explosiveness. They it's really hard for them to get big plays. And if four nets going to be banged up, you know,

it's going to have to be those bend, but don't break drives where they just have the ball 16 plays. I don't think they're going to be able to get big plays against this Pat's defense, which, and I,, the Pats will get a couple. But it's interesting. I really liked the Jags a week before the season. And then I talked myself out of it because I didn't want to just pick all the same division champs. So I was like, where can I go differently? And became more enamored with Tennessee, new coach. I like some of the ads they had. And then Tennessee had like the week from hell in week one.

They lost Delaney Walker for the year. They got some other injuries. Their line's banged up. Mariota's already hurt. And then you look at Houston. Houston's already had a bunch of shit happen. The Colts certainly don't look great. And it just looks like by default,

the Jags are an 11-win team. So I think your instincts were right on that. I think they're just in the right division. I don't think those other teams are good. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. Well, I want to circle back and make my first selection. We talked about Matt Patricia.

We talked about the Detroit Lions. I'm going to have a theme this week. That Detroit defense was incredible. And by incredible, I mean incredibly awful. Holy cow, did they stink? At a home game, your home opener against a rookie quarterback on the road, Sam, handsome Sam, completed 76% of his passes, 9.4 yards per attempt. Detroit is now on a short week traveling to San Francisco.

Kyle Shanahan really impressed me last week against Minnesota. That game was in the balance. They had a fumble on the one-yard line and drops across the all of their wide receivers that was a really competitive game I think San Francisco is going to beat the crap out of Detroit now I understand that the the there's a contrarian play you know there's an you don't want to over react to what we saw out of Detroit all those things are true I just am now on a pure coach basis I prefer Kyle Shanahan to Matt Patricia my single favorite thing a lot of great content this week out of the ringer and out of Mike Lombardi uh in particular he he made the observation that Matt Patricia keeps

a pencil behind his ear while holding a laminated play card yeah so the curiosity there is what is the point of the pencil that's my kind of dumb coach to go against i'm going against i'm taking the smart coach over the dumb coach give me san fran land the six at home against the detroit lions i don't know what else I could have done. I tried to tell everybody about Matt Patricia. And it was just falling on deaf ears. I was like, I don't know where this genius thing came from. I don't get it.

Our defense sucks. He's never been impressive ever. And the Patriots were more than happy to let him go. Meanwhile, when McDaniels, Kevin Clark pointed this out on Worst Picks Ever this week, when McDaniels tried to leave, the Pats lured him back. The moment Patricia was even one inch out the door, they shoved him. I just don't get it. I just think he's going to be a disaster.

So I looked at this game long and hard. There's some red flags for me. Red flag number one is this looks like a classic tease game. And yet you should not trust. I don't think the Niners are good enough to throw in a tease. I would encourage America to not do that. Secondly, I really worry about the explosiveness on the Niners to try to extend a lead when I actually watched their skill position guys on Sunday. It was really like a lot of George Kittle, like a lot,

like a really heavy, heavy dose of George Kittle. More Kittle than you cared for? I like George Kittle. I think he's great, but man, was he involved. Their receivers, you had Pierre Garçon. Were you a fan?

Yeah. He's fine. Oh, sure. Actually, I am a fan. He's a fine second receiver. He's fine. Oh, sure. Yeah, actually, I am a fan. He's a fine second receiver. He's fine. He's a good position. Well, unfortunately, he's their first receiver.

That's a problem. And their running backs are all like four-string guys. Like, they really are. They don't have a guy who would start at running back on a good team. So from a skill position standpoint, that worries me a little. And I got to say, slight red flag. I'm still in on the

Patricia's a disaster thing. That Detroit Jets game was close. It was 17-17. It wasn't like the Jets went up 21-0. It was just one of those weird, it was just an awful game and had no flow.

The Lions effed up. No, I get it. I get it. I don't want to overreact to the Lions. I am overreacting to Matt Patricia. I think he's terrible. Something about this scares me. I don't know what it is. I almost feel like

I wouldn't take the Lions plus six, but I think if you bet the Lions in this game, you do the money line would be my advice. Sure, sure. Right. There's some value in that money line. Let me see what it is right now. It's like plus 220. Yeah, that's pretty good.

You got to see it plus 225. So there's a couple games that I looked at long and hard and backed off on because there's some matchups that I liked but I don't like what I'm seeing with the team I like so

Carolina at Atlanta Carolina plus six but then you read about Carolina and they're pretty banged up especially on the offensive line. Cause initially I was like, oh wow. Atlanta lost two guys last,

they lost Dion Jones. They lost one of their best D backs. And I think Carolina is good. Yeah. And I think Carolina is, that was my pick for them to win the division. And then I read this stuff about Carolina on top of, we should mention like they're,

you know, Carolina is going through a fucking natural disaster right now, and those guys have to deal with that. Best of luck to everybody in the South, by the way, hopefully, to get through the weekend. Big ups to Carolina. There's too much going on, so that one was a stay away for me. And then, where was the other one? My Redskins? Yeah, that was the other one um my redskins yeah that was the other one so i knew it are you sure you should be favored by over five points against like anybody in the league other

than the bills are we sure that should be the case no absolutely not under no circumstances are you crazy? So, I think one of the things I've learned over the years and I'm not saying I'm Mr. Expert, but you kind of want to gravitate to when you're just getting free points and there is no

evidence whatsoever that the Redskins should be favored by five and a half points over the Colts. It feels like that line should be Redskins by three and a half. I don't even like the Colts, but I just feel like you're getting two extra points for no reason with that. So I think it's a stay away. I will say it was hard to learn too much about the Redskins last weekend because the Cardinals were so bad, but Chris Thompson looked incredible. So that was the big thing for you because you really missed him last year. And he's like weirdly valuable for that offense.

And I thought he looked great. You agree? The crucial thing with Chris Thompson is having him in the role that he can be optimized in. And that is where they found themselves with this offense. God bless Adrian Peterson. He asked for a workout with the redskins he went in there in the best shape of his life there's a great story and i want to give credit to the author and i don't remember who it's a it's a washington uh post story about his workout with the redskins and how after they saw him they they're like, we got to sign this guy right now. Yeah. And that set in motion really an offensive attack where everybody can play their role.

So Chris Thompson as a third down back as a real threat to take the ball at the line of scrimmage or a little above on a short, quick Alex Smith, accurate pass and go do things with it is awesome. You know, sweeps and stuff like that. Screen passes. Yeah, you really. That's where he's going to excel. You missed him last year.

Wait, tell us. Actually, hold on. I'm going to do an ad. I'm going to do a read that you're going to be so excited about because this is something that has entered my life recently. Have you tried a Starbucks double shot house? No. Well, let me explain what it is. It starts with bold Starbucks coffee. It's blended with milk for a smooth, creamy, delicious flavor. Those are three of your favorite words. It's enhanced with ginseng, guarana, and B vitamins. It's available in six delicious flavors, mocha, vanilla, hazelnut, white chocolate,

coffee, and Mexican mocha. Oh, spicy. I think you dated a Mexican mocha once. It was a long time ago. I can't totally remember. It's an energy coffee drink that not only tastes great, but gives you the energy to go from point A to point done. You drink more caffeine than basically anyone I've ever met. It says to mention some story about when we're sharper, when we have more energy, you basically, you would have a caffeine IV running through your wrist if you could have one i mean my go-to order when i order at starbucks is an iced trenta black eye which is a giant iced coffee with two shots of espresso in it yeah um mainly because i like the taste of that but i also then can drink that

over you know two hours yeah uh in in the morning and i'm you And that gets me to the afternoon before I have to have my afternoon coffee at four o'clock. This new product you're describing, this double shot, maybe what I do is I get the Ice Trenta iced coffee and then take the beautiful double shot and pour a little taste in there. That beautiful smoothness, the creaminess, that I like. Maybe you just drink seven Starbucks double shots and it'll be the same thing as the

Trenta iced red eye. When you have that, the person, I've seen you order it and I've seen the reaction of the person behind the counter. And it's always looks like you've asked them for a rock of cocaine. They do seem to be surprised. They actually- It's a store that I haven't been in before. They're actually fearful that there's police cameras and there's a SWAT team coming.

The Starbucks double shot, energy to do the things you actually do. Find it in your local convenience store. Starbucks, send some new Joe House. He would drink the double shots. So I have to ask you about the Redskins. Go ahead. How's the Alex Smith era for you? How is it?

I love it. I'm telling you, it is exactly as advertised. The game plan is impeccable because it is perfectly suited for a three-step drop ball get out and we have the receivers for that that's where Jordan Reed excels that's where Chris Thompson excels that's where Jamison Crowder excels and we still have deep threat over the top with Paul Richardson and Josh Dotson and you know just take a couple cracks here and there now we didn't really have to see what Alex Smith has under the hood because Adrian Peterson had 166 yards total from scrimmage you know between rushing and a couple uh receptions uh and that was a glorious thing to see but you know um I think I I still

understand the the the thinking and I'm you know I'm not going to be overly exuberant about it that as the season goes on i may think oh this is a spot where cousins might have excelled but here's here's the biggest difference the the the thing you can't have in the nfl is a dummy at coach and a dummy at quarterback well now i don't have a dummy at quarterback anymore i had a dummy at coach and a dummy at quarterback the past four years. It's not fun. It's not fun having two dummies in your life. Smith, so far, is not a dummy.

Yeah, so we're going to come back to the... Wait until I get to my Oakland pick, by the way. We're going to get back to the Redskins in a second because they might come up later with one of my other picks. That leads me to the Cousins game though, which there's no line. And I just want to mention

Minnesota's defense looked really fast last week against Garoppolo and the Niners. Like really fast. Strikingly fast. Like you felt like Jimmy was basically running for his life or had to move two seconds faster than

he wanted to and get rid of the ball a half second earlier than he wanted. All that stuff. Their defense was really good. You would think, you would think, you would think that this would be bad for a quarterback playing on one leg. You would think. Uh-huh. You would think Minnesota in Lambeau against one-legged Aaron

Rodgers and a not really that impressive Packers defense and all they have to do is just do their thing and score enough points and they should be able to win. You would think this is a lock

and yet the Cousins thing, I need to see it. I need to see him go into Lambeau and actually beat a one-legged Aaron Rodgers. I refuse to bet on this. Go do it. Do it. Let me be impressed. And then I'll file that away for the next 16 to 18 weeks of the season. But I'm not betting on you right now, Kirk Cousins. I'm just not. I'm sorry if you don't like that, Kirk Cousins, but I'm not doing it. I hope America heard that because this is the thing that the betting public needs to have in mind. Make Kirk Cousins prove it. Just prove it.

Prove it once. I just lived here in Washington. What's his greatest win? What was his greatest win for you? Off the top of your head, what's your favorite Kirk Cousins moment in Washington for four years? You like that? Wait, it was either the comeback against Tampa or they beat Green Bay in the middle of the season

on like a Monday night or something. Every game that mattered, where there was real stuff on the line, I felt like he came up on under performing under expectation, the giants game at the end of last season, where all the Washington deadskins had to do was win the game to make the playoffs. And he threw an interception with the ball. The ball was in his hands. There's less than two minutes. They can go down the field and at a minimum tie the game with a field goal, I think, or get a touchdown and win the game.

The invisible linebacker sprung up on him once again. Some people are colorblind. He's linebacker blind. The invisible linebacker came up and he threw it right to the middle and that was it and the game over. That's the Kirk Cousins experience. By the way, you know who played Show Me Something with Kirk Cousins?

The Washington Redskins. That's why they used a franchise tag on him two years. They would not pay him a big guarantee or sign him to a multiple-year contract. And you know what? It was the right decision. Yeah. It was prove it to me, Kirk, for four straight years. And guess what? That's right. He didn't prove it to him, Kirk, for four straight years. And guess what?

That's right. He didn't prove it to him, and they told him to go away. So my first two picks are Chiefs plus five and Pats minus one. And then for my third pick, I'm going to do something a little unconventional. You're allowed. I'm using the Chargers as my pivot team. So the pivot team is when you like one team in a tease and you put them with a couple other games

and you either go one and one or two and oh or whatever you do, but you're banking on the pivot team not losing. Yep. I like the Chargers are seven and a half point favorites against Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills. They have three times as much talent as the Bills. The red flags here are West Coast to East Coast and betting on Anthony Lynn on the road

and all the weird shit that seems to happen when the Chargers play. I think there's such a talent discrepancy in this game combined with the real 0-16 potential of the Bills. The Bills somehow came off worse after that Bengals-Ravens game because the Ravens looked like dog shit for most of that game and they beat the Bills 47-3. I think there's a real chance the Bills are going to be catastrophically bad this year. And if the Chargers screw up, it's not going to be because they actually lost. It'll just be they somehow don't cover and figure out a way to win 33 to 30 or some bullshit thing. So at seven and a half, you can tease them down to six. I mean, I'm sorry, down, new, out.

One or one and a half. So I'm going to do that with two different things. Okay. I am going to do a six and a half point tease, which is a minus 130 gambling line. Bring the Chargers down to one. I'm going to bring the Los Angeles Rams playing at home against the putrid Arizona Cardinals. A Rams team that, by the way, which is the case for them against the Raiders on Monday night, which I made, and extend the lead team. They're a good team that actually has a little good dog in them, not bad dog, where they're up 10.

They're going to try to go up dog where they're up 10 they're going to try to go up 17 they're up 17 with five minutes left they want to extend it to 24 they keep pushing they keep pushing they try to make big plays they have a great running back who can break away of 60 yarder at any time and fyi joe fucking house todd girley still 30 to one to win the MVP. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yes. Oh, I'm all right. We might have to hang up on this podcast. I have, I have, I have a wager to place. And if Todd Gurley wins the MVP, I think it's going to be because a couple of times a year, he has the 220 yard three touchdown game. This is the perfect candidate for that. So I like a Chargers-Rams, bringing the Rams down to 6.5, minus 130, that combo. Is Sam Bradford beating me?

Sam Bradford's going to come back to haunt me against a far superior Rams team? No. Stop it. Stop it. So that's one. And then the other one, I'm putting a half unit on this. It's a money liner with the Redskins minus 240 and the Chargers minus 350, which comes out to a little better than even. So it's a Redskins-Chargers-Moneyline parlay. Yes.

I'll give you the exact odds on that house. Who screws me on that house? The Redskins. I mean, just be prepared. There are a lot of factors that suggest that Andrew Luck is going to be coming here to Washington. They're going to be playing on grass. They're going to be playing outdoors. It's going to be wet because it's raining.

The hurricanes nudge up some storms up here. Minus 122. I'm putting a half unit on it, House. Okay. All right. Minus 122. There's a lot of factors. Okay. I like that. So we had a Moneyline parlay. All right. Minus 122. There's a lot of factors. Okay. I like

that. So we had a Moneyline Parlay. We have a teaser of Chargers and Rams. Moneyline Parlay, Redskins, and Chargers. Teaser, Chargers and Rams. Yeah. So I need the Chargers to win. Yeah. Chargers win. And then I need to come through with a half unit

on the Skins and a full unit on the Rams to win by a touchdown or more. You know what's going to happen, House? The four o'clock games are going to start and you're going to be watching the ticker. And let's see, that Rams game probably starts at like 4.15, about 4.23, it's going to say card zero, Ram seven, girly touchdown. And now I'm covering. I'm already covering.

The game's four minutes old and I'm feeling good. So give me your second pick. I'm rooting for it. Yeah. So this is great. You know, there's a symmetry. We gave six picks out last week and you put a couple exotics in. We're going to have exactly six picks again this week.

My second game uh and again that the theme that i'm i'm focused on here is is this dummy coach thing i talked about the the predicament of dummy coach dummy quarterback here in washington it's not uh that surprising that i have another gruden to pick on here i like this denver team i talked about this Denver team last week. I just feel like until further notice, any situation in which Oakland is not getting seven points or more, that I'm going to go against Oakland under the right circumstances. But wow, were they unprepared for the adjustments that the Rams threw at them in the second half? Yeah. Check down Charlie, Derek Carr. I mean, not Derek. David.

Derek. David. Derek. No, it is Derek Carr. It is Derek Carr. I got it right. Goodness gracious. This is what happens when you don't have enough double shot, Bill.

Yeah. Creamy, smooth, and delicious that that's it i love uh denver at home against an oakland team on a short week the oakland team looked like it was it was in search of an excuse to quit and they found it in the second half yeah the uh uh rams completely took away everything on the perimeter receiver wise and i think denver is entirely capable of the exact same thing i also think denver can run the ball against oakland i just think that they're going to do a ball control run the ball i also don't like a team like oakland on the road early in the season having to go into altitude. So I think Denver, less than a touchdown is appealing to me. Dummy quarterback, dummy coach, I'm taking Denver minus six. You've talked me into throwing them in a tease with the Chargers,

so I'm going to put a half unit on it. Yeah! Denver and the Chargers. I watched that entire game last week, Denver, Seattle, because there was four games. I was able to concentrate on all the TVs. The Arizona game was done early, and I could really concentrate on the Denver thing.

I actually thought Denver looked good. And what was interesting about that game is I think they would have won by double digits pretty easily. But Seattle's kick-ass punter kept pinning them inside like they're 15 over and over again. Every time it seemed like Denver was just going to take control of the game, there was yet another booming punt and all of a sudden they were starting on their own 12 again. And the game had a really weird flow. They were constantly having to go 85 yards. And now I agree with you. I think Gruden's a jackass.

I was, I just thought for 12 years on TV, he never said one thing I thought was interesting. He had no insight. I think he is shtick and not actual real coaching. And he decimated this team already. He traded their best player. He he's done a bunch of weird shit.

He's waved draft picks that they just took like a year and two years ago. And I haven't seen anything that makes me think this is a competent professional football team. The other thing is that that team had the benefit of watching their former teammate Khalil Mack go out and be a one man wrecking ball. Yeah, I think there is still to be sorted out in Oakland you know this uh that the player anxiety around the transition that they've obviously undertaken and I don't think that's a small thing you can't dismiss it especially when what we saw the success that Oakland had was a perfectly scripted first

half of the game where Gruden had you know he was he was able to, the play calling was fine. It was one dimensional though. And he had no answer when the Rams came out in the second half and, and, and had adjustments that took those receivers out of the game. And on this short week, I think Gruden may again, show up in Denver with the script. And as soon as things go off script, they are cooked. So the other team I like that I'm not going to bet on is the Jets minus three against Miami. Because I don't think Miami is good. And that Miami-Tennessee game last week was just weird. Weird game.

Four-hour delay and guys getting hurt on Tennessee. And Miami made a couple big plays. There's no reason to think that's actually a good team. I think that was a very strange game. And if you just played it conventionally and it was a normal three-hour game and a couple injuries don't happen, who knows if Miami doesn't lose by 18. I think the Jets are better. I can't bet on it, though, because I think there's going to be so much energy in there

because the Jets fans are just so delighted and overwhelmed to finally have a decent quarterback. Yeah. It's like, they're like the 38 year old virgin who's finally having sex. Like they don't even, they can't even believe. I remember what that was like.

They're like, wow, the sex thing's unbelievable. You have like an orgasm. It feels good. Like, did you know about this? Did you know about the sex?

And then you wait a couple minutes. Then you can keep doing it. It's unbelievable. Then you're happy. And then you get to sleep next to the person. It's really adorable to watch them go through this with a real quarterback. I just don't trust him because I think there's going to be so much energy and adrenaline in that stadium. I worry about think there's going to be so much energy and adrenaline in that stadium.

I worry about how that's going to affect him. Yeah, that's all very reasonable. I think he's an adrenaline QB, and I could just see him being so jacked and pumped he's fucking throwing 58 yarders downfield trying to make home runs and stuff. Maybe. He's a badass. I mean, that head of hair that he has on him, I mean, that's an unparalleled head of hair. And he's a handsome fella. And I don't think he's going to be overwhelmed by the moment.

I do agree with the idea that he's going to be juiced. Let me bounce one other play off of you. I came very close to including the Giants this week. I love the Giants getting points against Dallas. Well, this is why I'm asking you. Why are you expressing that dissatisfaction? Because you accurately forecasted this

Dallas team being very sucky. They stink. And now all of the problems that were identified manifested themselves. I mean, I think we're going to get a full slate, clean slate coaching-wise in Dallas. Either at some point during the season or in the offseason.

They have nothing at receiver, and the entire defense, all Carolina had to do was stop Zeke, and they did it. I thought the Giants looked pretty good defensively against Jacksonville. Yeah. I just think Eli's washed. I think he's washed. I think he's washed. I think it's like a Carmelo Anthony Rockets thing. It's like the guy's done.

Like, what are you doing? He's not, he's not. Because he's washed. Yeah. And it's like, and if he does well in Dallas, that's fine. Then he covers, but I just don't trust him. I don't want to put my money on Eli Manning at this point. I'm with you though.

I stared at that one long and hard, and I just couldn't stomach it. Eli single-handedly lost that game for them last week. He sucked. He couldn't do it. He hasn't been good in four years. It's just enough. I mean, I respect the hell out of the guy. Me too.

He stole two rings from me. He did it. He really did. Apparently, he's a great golfer, another handsome guy. The two Super Bowl wins. He stole two rings from me. He did it. He really did. Apparently he's a great golfer. Another handsome guy. I'd love to play around and golf and have a cheeseburger with Eli. I just don't want to bet my hard-earned money on him. It's the right move. The other one, the most fun line

of the week, and I have no opinion on this, was Tampa getting three and a half at home against Philly. Because somebody is... We have it every year. We know it's going to happen. There's going to be a weird 2- against Philly? Because somebody is, we have it every year. We know it's going to happen. There's going to be a weird 2-0 team. And we were like, whoa, they're 2-0. How'd that happen?

And Tampa is the leading candidate right now. I'd say Tampa and the Jets are the two that I think people would be the most surprised if they were 2-0. So maybe those two. I'm trying to think who else. Nobody else would be like a shock who else, uh, yeah, no, nobody else would be like a shocker. Like Denver. It's not shocking if they're two and oh,

those two would be, I think the most surprising ones. So, um, well, this was good house. This was, this was a nice little,

uh, little Friday rolling for us. Uh, go, I agree with you. Go have 17 Starbucks double shots. And, uh,

and I'm actually on my way to a uh there's a restaurant here is my 10th wedding anniversary occurred yesterday my wife and i are going to sneak away we haven't been away from our child and i don't know however many years i can't wait to to explore this thing you you describe sex i can't wait to see what that's about. But we're going to this beautiful restaurant, the Inn at Little Washington outside of D.C. Just received its third Michelin star. I can't talk about, you know, eating. I hope that they ordered enough. That's all I can say.

I hope that they have enough in the larder for what I'm coming down there prepared to do. Well, it's also the 10th anniversary this weekend of my daughter pulling the fire alarm in the Martha's Vineyard Airport and causing a national security incident. She was two and a half years old at the time. I just want to tell you before you go, I went to Major Domo on Monday and I had the pork butt,

which I had not had before, which is prepared three different ways now. They bring it out, you eat it with lettuce and the kimchi, all the hot sauce that he has, all that stuff. Oh, my favorite, my favorite. Then they bring it out a second way, which I'm blanking because I actually went into a meat sweat coma for the second one. And then the third time it comes back chopped up in rice and stuff. So it's served the same pork butter served three different times. So that was

delicious. And then last night I went to APL cause it was the roast master's birthday. You son of a bitch. What a week. Yeah. It was, it was a double Kimmel week for me for meals. And we had the, uh, APL short ribs and filet and, uh, and all this stuff. So, um, I I'm not feeling great house and I will say baby doll, James baby doll Dixon, who, who doesn't usually overeat with meat, um, took seven dumps last night at the dinner, just kept going back to the bathroom and dumping his brains out. And then telling us how his, it wasn't great with his stomach as we're trying to eat meat so that was great we did make him pay but um well that's the only only way to do it of course he has to pay yeah but you're coming out next month so we're

going to be going all these places well you i mean this is it those are two of the highlights of this trip i'm already looking forward to it mid-october so just just give yourself a full month to recover because we're doing it again. We're going to run that one back. I'm going all salads, colonics, and juices for the next four weeks, getting ready for your arrival. Yes. Yes, my guy. Thanks for Friday rolling with me. I'll talk to you soon. I love it. Thanks, guys. Hey, we're going to talk to Keegan-Michael Key in a second about a whole bunch of stuff. It's really good. But first, let's talk about buying a home. It can be one of the

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Either way you win. To get started, go to rocketmortgage.com slash Bill Simmons. Rate shield approval only valid on certain 30-year purchase transactions. Additional conditions or exclusions may apply based on Quicken Loans data in comparison to public data records. Equal housing lender, licensed in all 50 states. NMLSconsumeraccess.org, number 3030. And since we're here, don't forget to check out theringer.com slash shop

for all your favorite t-shirts. Lots of rumors we're making a don't forget to check out the ringer.com slash shop for all your favorite t-shirts. Lots of rumors. We're making a parent corner t-shirt. It's going to happen. Nephew Kyle, someday you'll get a t-shirt. Yes. Just you sitting sadly on the bus.

People actually think that's me on the bus. Yeah. We Photoshopped. Nephew Kyle tweeted about taking some, something that happened to him on the bus this week. I retweeted it. He's somehow, would you go from like 2,300 to 4,000 followers? Yeah, it's a lot.

It's a lot. And then I did another tweet of Photoshopping Nephew Kyle on the bus. The worst picture you could find. Yeah, with Keanu Reeves, which somehow people thought was an actual bus picture of Nephew Kyle. But follow Nephew Kyle at TomShady300.

Oh man. It's really the underbelly of Los Angeles. Los Angeles is a glamorous place. Not in Nephew Kyle, but follow Nephi Kyle at Tom Shady 300. Oh man. It's really the underbelly of Los Angeles. Los Angeles is a glamorous place. Not in Nephi Kyle's world. Nowhere that I go. It's dark. It's just- This is the nicest place that I go.

Just dives and dark bars. So he'll take you into that world. All right, here we go. Keegan-Michael Key right now. Keegan-Michael Key is here. Second time. Second time, Bill. Second time's the charm.

Yes, sir. You're in the top three most exciting guests to see if the Gabe Caplin fast break poster. Top three? Top three. Easy. You're not even in the top one. I was going to say,

there must be something. The director must have been here. We did it. You called out a scene. You called out Mike Warren as preacher. So I know you're a real fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't seen it in a while.

It makes every time, I feel like if I did this, this podcast 12, 10 times, it would just be a lovely reminder. Every time I walk around, Oh, remember that great Cape Cag?

Cause that's a, that's a movie I saw as a kid, like went to the theater eight years old and saw that movie. It's good with my folks. Yeah. Me as well. Yeah. I love it.

I did. Uh, I wrote about, I think battle network stars. Cause Gabe Capone was in that too. We talked about that. Yeah. And I called him I wrote about, I think Battle of the Network Stars, because Gabe Capone was in that too. That's right, we talked about that. Yeah, and I called him about the piece, and I couldn't resist asking about Fast Break. And I was like, what was up with Bernard King? Because he had had all these issues.

Right, right, right, right. He was in and out of, and he's like, look, we filmed for 60 days. Bernard gave us a great 58. And I was like, what happened to the other two? He's like, I'll just leave it at that. What happened with Bernard? Bernard King. And like early in Bernard's career. You know what I mean, right?

Early in his career. A little too much, maybe. It was a little too much for him that fast. He was so freaking talented. It was a rough era. The cocaine wiped out a lot of those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of them. And celebrities and comedians cocaine cocaine wiped out a lot of those guys yeah yeah i mean some of them and celebrities and comedians oh absolutely everybody it was i remember my uh my producer emeritus at second city her name was joyce sloan lovely woman she was there for at that point in

time like 50 at one point she was like there for 49 of the 50 years and she was there you know whenever whenever we had an anniversary, you would always say about Joyce. And Joyce, of course, has been here 51 of the 52 years. And I remember her saying, when Belushi would come back in to visit, everybody was doing it. It was like taking vitamins.

And he's like, this is amazing. The cocaine thing's amazing. Yeah, that whole era, it's hard to fathom, right? Remember that movie, Dr. Detroit? Right. We were kids with Dan Aykroyd. Just whole movies about cocaine. Well, it would be like right now if it came out that Red Bull was horribly addictive.

Right, exactly. And you could overdose and die on it. Exactly. You could die on Red Bull. Yeah. Your limbs would start falling off or something like that. It was exactly like that. Yeah, you're right.

I was watching the Robin Williams documentary. Oh, yeah. And he had this whole cocaine 70s thing, which I knew a little of, because I knew he like, he saw Belushi in the last night, but I didn't realize like, you know,

in the late 70s, he was. In the late 70s, he was doing it. But I think everybody, I think that was just part of the deal. Because it was definitely, I know from,

from, especially with Second City stuff, from, from people from my past, people who were earlier alums would tell us, would just do it creatively the way anybody would smoke marijuana, like smoke different types of marijuana to release things creatively or unlock a door for yourself or, or the way the Beatles would do LSD. It was actually, it wasn't even recreational. It was a work. It was a work substance. And I've heard, you know, I've heard interviews and stuff

with Akroyd just talk about, we wanted to get get the sketch done or i wanted to write more on the script do a little bump and you kept on going i had somebody who played in the nba like basically during the kind of jordan kobe era was saying like in the early 80s he thought it was about 40 percent like a legit percent a legit 40 percent in the league because they didn't know any better. Wow. And they're on the road all the time. Yep, yep. And they had people in the different hotel lobbies. Hey, man. Hey.

And it really, Lembias was the game changer. Right, exactly. They actually took somebody. To actually die. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that abruptly. It's like when anything abrupt happens, people go, whoa, wait a second.

Yeah. Could you imagine if somebody drank Red Bull and then just fell over? Yeah, we shouldn't do that. Belushi, for some reason, was not a game changer. Richard Pryor setting himself on fire. It was not a game changer, right? It's almost like with Belushi, it's like, oh, it happened with Belushi.

But then with Pryor, like, well, he didn't even die. Right, he's fine. He's okay. He's okay. He burned his hair. In fact, he made it through the fire. Maybe that has something to do with the cocaine. Yeah, it was insane.

It's a crazy story. Speaking of going back to the 80s, you redid this Predator movie. Yes, yes. That was an iconic mid-80s popcorn testosterone movie. Kind of a movie that when you rewatch, it's like, how did this work? How did we see this in the theater? The special effects are horrific.

Right, exactly. And that was the thing about the movie. I think there's a charm to the movie that only works when you're 15. Well, no, I'm sorry. It only works if you're 15 in 1987. That's the issue, right? Because, because it's like you, I remember when we were doing key and peel, it's interesting that you say that when we were doing key and peel, um, one of our EPS, like I'm nine years older than Jordan. And one of my EPs was 13 years older than me. Yeah. So we would talk about, we would discuss like, so no, Jordan was born when Star Wars came

out. My dad, if my brother and I behaved, we were taken to see Star Wars on several occasions as rewards. Like you take kids to take ice cream. We're going to go, you guys were good at that meeting. We're going to Star Wars. And then, and then Jay was a teenager in high school. So he's going, Oh, what is this schlock? You know, like if you're going to watch movies like coming home and Serpico, like you're going, what is this thing? And to think it's changed all of society is insane. Yeah. And so it's the same thing with, with predator predators always giving that sense of, it was like the best movie I had ever seen. And now being a filmmaker and a writer and a performer and a producer, I understand what appealed to me. I didn't know then it was just magic, but now I understand what appealed to me.

That one, Running Man was another, it was basically Hunger Games before Hunger Games, right? Before Hunger Games, Total Recall. Total Recall. I was mad. I was actually mad when they remade that one. Yeah. I didn't understand. Total Recall is good now. In 2018, I i enjoyed it i didn't need a new one i didn't need a new total recall right it had the right up because because that movie also the plot stays intact right there's a good mystery uh element to it and the other thing about that movie is the kitsch value helps like if you watch it now you go oh yeah that was

what people thought people were going to wear in the future and yeah the plasmas they were kind of right right exactly right the tv's on the wall oh my god and you're kind of oh my gosh so you get you get an extra little element of it which is terrific yeah yeah yeah yeah three boob lady they were wrong lady three lady didn't happen sharon stone just kick like remember in the 80s great in that you could she was fantastic in the movie and one thing I remember is you can kick anybody in the groin as hard as you want in the 80s. Yeah.

It was a recurring theme. Remember that? You don't see it anymore. You don't see anybody getting kicked in the groin anymore. No, it's like how they don't have chair shots in wrestling anymore and they don't have groin kicks in movies. No, groin kicks or chair shots, exactly. Yeah. The Pred predator has not

aged well no so i was actually when i heard about this normally i guard the 80s i get protected yeah yeah yeah i was very upset when they when i read about the karate kid the cobra kai remake and then and that actually turned out really good right but i like because they approached it they brought it into the 2018 modern that's what that's what we did with the predator is the same thing it's it's like so so you can't like don't we make a movie and then ignore that everything in the world's changed yes and so i think we did the same thing especially in this movie what's so interesting is if you think back to the original movie right it's not even like they were a crack team they were superheroes with guns they were not attitude what's that with a lot of attitude with a lot of attitude we're's that? With a lot of attitude. With a lot

of attitude. We're going to go in there and kill 75 guys. You know, I remember Jesse talking about being a sexual tyrannosaurus. You know what I mean? And you're going all that, all that machismo, all those muscles and all that beefcake was exactly who we were as a nation at the time too. And I think- That's interesting. Right, right. They needed to do that. They 100% needed to do that to show how badass the predator was. So what, but, but, but I'm saying they needed to do that, but they weren't even thinking about it that way. They were just going, that's what 80s movies look like.

Remember it? Commando. There's Commando. Remember when he gets David Patrick Kelly, that little short sniveling guy was like a dreamscape with Dennis. The guy from Warriors. Exactly. Yes.

David Patrick Kelly went to my alma mater. Yeah. Dickie V. Oh, Dickie V coach. Okay. And he walks up to that little car. It's like a Carmen gear or something,

right? He knocks him off the road and Schwarzenegger walks up, grabs the handle and rips the door off the car. And we haven't seen that since fast and fast and furious is the last time we see that. Like, they're just superheroes. What's interesting is if all of those guys had survived the Predator onslaught,

if all of them had survived, we, the characters in the new movie, are the guys who are them now. All of our characters have PTSD. We're all in group therapy. We're all crushed men. We're broken. We're scared. We've been thrown away by our nation.

Because you can't... Remember, in 87, we were covering up what the embarrassment known as the Vietnam War. we're broken. We're scared. We've been thrown away by our nation because you can't remember in 87, we were covering up what the embarrassment known as the Vietnam war. Now, after four more wars, I mean, geez, let's call it six more wars. Like just any conflict, right? The guys who come back, we can't ignore PTSD. Now it's almost, the film is almost a treatise on PTSD and on how we treat our soldiers. Now it's, so it pulls it right up into, I mean, I'm being really serious, you know, about it, but it's a popcorn movie, but it pulls, it's like, you have to deal with reality. You can't just make them big, super.

I read a little bit about it over the last week or so. And it's like Shane Black. Well, that's interesting. Yeah. It's always fun when he does anything. Right. Exactly. Yeah.

And then the PTSD thing, it's like, wow, they really, and I kind of really try to reinvent this. A hundred percent. Like how are these broken guys who are in group therapy together and are criminals? Like we're shackled. We live at the VA, like in the psych ward.

Yeah. And we get out. How are they going to fare against a predator? And you go, okay, no, all right. I'll follow that story. I buy that story. Like if it was just muscle bound guys, I'm going to like, you're never,

my nostalgia will always outplay whatever you're going to do. That's, that was, I think the total recall situation. I adore, I adore Brian. And I think Colin Farrell is great. Brian,

uh, uh, um, uh, Brian, uh, Cranston, you know,

like a great put fantastic actors in it, but it'll never catch up to my nostalgia. And like you said, it was already, it was a good film. It's already a good film. The problem is you do that. And everybody like us is like, I can't get the old Total Recall out of my mind. People are 25 or like, I don't care about Total Recall. So win me over with this.

Win me over with the actual movie. Like the movie's got to be solved. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Which is tough. I, it's been really sober. And we did this rewatchables podcast here, The Ringer,

which I host a lot of. Right, right, right. And we just do deep dives on movies. And we've basically learned like you can really only do the last 20 years. Yeah. Like one of the lowest rated ones we had was Midnight Run, which I think is like one of the all-timers. My top three.

Yeah. In my top three. And it was like, obviously we have to do a midnight run and then it's 1989 and somebody who's 25, like it's just not on their radar. Right. I don't want to go to 1989. I don't want to say,

I don't want to watch that. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I mean, I'd want to be, the thing is for me and you, I want to be in a remake of midnight run.

Yeah. It's just me and you. Yeah. Like maybe my wife, maybe some friends from high school, but, but yeah, if you're 20 and also the thing is you can't do the gags, right?

You can't do the gags anymore. So you can't do like showing that the money's fake. You can't tap phone, pay phones. We don't have pay phones. We don't have pay phones. I mean, think about all the gags that we can't do anymore. That would be a reason to do Midnight Run

is you- How do you update the gags? Cell phones and digital and all that. Like they're trying to escape cross-country with somebody exactly that would work that i think would be pretty cool if we could figure out how to make that clever what i think what i think shane and fred did uh and there's also at our talk back at our premiere in toronto fred said fred said here's the deal he said we wanted to do a dirty dozen thing or a dirty like a broken dirty half dozen situation

yeah we knew 100 no one even talked about it like fox everybody just went gotta be a kid to do a dirty dozen thing or a dirty, like a broken, dirty half dozen situation. We knew a hundred percent. No one even talked about it. Like Fox, everybody just went, gotta be a kid. There's gotta be a kid in it. We have a kid in it. There's never been a kid. Right. And then the third thing was something about wanting to harken back to the nostalgia of, of eighties films. The way, um, what was the, what wasj abrams film with the kids super oh they super eight yes right yeah like something in that well there's been more than that i mean stranger things oh stranger things is completely capitalized on it yeah completely capitalized on people love going backwards and now you have this whole netflix era where oh they're paying people to

do 20 million dollar movies again right right everything's possible everything yeah everything's going back you're right everything's going back like you had keanu a couple years ago that i thought was good and those those shorter ones unless there's a superhero attached or some sort of giant gimmick it comes and goes and then people discover it on cable but now maybe three years later you do that for netflix for like 75 million dollars exactly right you get paid and it premieres. I think we made as much on Keanu as people are making now, making a Netflix movie. It's insane.

And I just finished making a Netflix movie. I just did a movie called Dolomite based on the life of Rudy Ray Moore. Oh, the comic. Yeah, the comic. Isn't Eddie Murphy in that? Eddie Murphy plays Rudy Ray Moore. So you did a movie with Eddie Murphy?

With my hero. You're in scenes with Eddie Murphy? Tons of scenes, like all of the scenes. Hanging out with Eddie Murphy? Hanging out with Eddie Murphy plays Rudy Ray Moore. So you did a movie with Eddie Murphy. With my hero. You're in scenes with Eddie Murphy? Tons of scenes, like all of the scenes. Hanging out with Eddie Murphy, like between scenes? The first day, Bill, I was so exhausted because I had to spend every ounce of energy to not freak out in front of him. Like to play it cool, like play it cool.

And then Craig Robinson, thank God, who's in the movie. Like Craig's just so effusive and so gregarious. He doesn't care. He's just like, but's in the movie. Like Craig's just so, you know, so effusive and so gregarious. He doesn't care. He's just like, well, what about the 40th anniversary? How come we, how come, would they ask you to do a sketch? Like he just gets right into it. And Eddie was more than happy to answer the questions. But the thing, Eddie Murphy's a perfect example, right?

I just said, Midnight Run is one of my top three, top five. Marty Brest directed that. Marty Brest directed 48 Hours. Marty Brest directed- hours marty breast was 40 but beverly hills cop yeah yeah beverly hills cop so there so jordan and i made a movie with our director peter we made a movie where we wanted to hearken back to those marty breast movies where the bullets are real and the comedy's real like you like if you really get shot you really bleed yeah and also the comedy's real so so and i really get shot, you really bleed. Yeah. And also the comedy's real.

So I think again, like you said, oh, that's what we want to do. What are the 25 year olds going to think of it? It'll be interesting. It'll be interesting what the 25 year olds think of the predator. Yeah. Well, the other thing with Keanu

is you hit the jackpot with Tiffany Haddish. Oh my God. You didn't even realize it yet. Now she has 19 movies coming out. I know, we got her before. We got her while she was still baking in the oven. She jumped out of the movie though. I was like, who's that?

She's great. Yep. And that was, it's one of those things like you hear stories about casting. Yeah. And all those stories you hear are true. Like Jordan goes, but we got to take a look at this girl.

We got to call back with this girl. And I go, Haddish, interesting. I remember saying interesting name. And then I'm standing off camera while they're doing their chemistry read. And I'm like, yep, done. Yep. Cause she's so real. She's so real in it. Jason Mitchell, super real in it. And it's funny, everything she's done since that launched her. And now she's always like huge and crazy. Cause that's what she is in real life, but she played it real cool in the movie and real intense. A little dangerous.

Super dangerous. I actually like how she played that. Let's go back to Eddie Murphy, my favorite celebrity of all time, probably. So you're with him every day. Is the move to like pretend you're not a giant fan, but then like at day three, you fuck up. That's exactly it. Somebody mentions Delirious.

You're like, no, no, that's not how that bit went. It becomes clear you're a psycho. Exactly. I mean, and it was, the thing is because Craig was there, you could just ask questions. Like you could just go, so then Eddie, what about this? And then one day he said to me, he kind of was just bored and they were resetting a shot.

They're just resetting a shot. And we're just kind of standing there. And Eddie just goes, and he goes, I can't remember why we started talking about Marlon Brando. But we started talking about Marlon Brando. It was our first scene, like real't remember why we started talking about Marlon Brando yeah we started talking about Marlon it was our first scene like real scene together he's talking about Marlon Brando and then he goes yeah yeah you know I you know I had um yeah I had dinner a few times with Marlon Brando what so first of all my hero yeah had dinner with my hero like like with the legend that is my hero right and I'm like and then and then it's this bill you're so you're

going like you're like oh yeah tell me about that it's cool tell me about that one marlin who marlin marlin marlin scando i don't um so he goes so he goes he goes yeah yeah he goes when he goes 82 or whenever it's 82 when when did uh when did 48 hours come on 83 82 82 right, right? So he's in the middle of SNL and got to make this movie on the off season. Right. And 48 Hours comes out. Nick Mote gets drunk, can't host. And he hosts SNL as a cast member.

As a cast member. Host as a cast member. Like insane, right? Insane. So you go, this is the most talented guy that's ever lived. And he was like 21. He was 19. Well, when 48 Hours came out.

When 48 Hours came out, yeah. 21 yeah he was 19 first year when he came when it came out right exactly so he goes he goes i come he goes i'm 20 21 i go to la uh everybody now remember it's 80 it's the early 80s so everybody wants to meet him you know like like like charlton heston wants to meet him lucilleille Ball wants to meet him. And he said, I, uh, so I hear from my manager, my manager goes, so Marlon Brando wants to have dinner with you. And Eddie goes, okay. All right. And he said, and he said, they're going to send a car for you tomorrow at seven o'clock.

Um, and, uh, and then you're going to go to Marlon Brando's house. Like the manager's voice shaking. Yeah. And he goes, so you know how it is. Like I'm at the Laura Matage, uh, on Burton way and I'm in the, i'm in the hotel room and it's seven o'clock and i figured the driver's downstairs and i got something so i'm kind of putzing around the room he's i'm just kind of just hanging out and i go downstairs like eight o'clock so an hour later and i just walk out of the lobby on in the street and i walk up to this car that's at the curve and you look in the car marlon brando's

driving the car he kept marlon brando waiting for an hour. Oh my God. Well, who thought it was going to be Marlon Brando, right? It's a car service to come get him and take him up into the hills. And it was Brando sitting in the car and he's like, there he is. And he's like, come on in, come on in. And they get in the car and they drive and he goes, and I had dinner with Marlon Brando. And he just would tell stories like this. Lots of print stories. Yeah. And then we told, he told a story one day where he goes, there's goes, he loved being around the ensemble. Like when there was a ton of extras and the whole group, so me, Mike Epps, Craig Robinson, Wesley Snipes is in the movie. Hold that thought, because we're coming back to Wesley.

We're coming back to that. And he goes, and he goes, and he goes. So we were telling a story about Ella Fitzgerald. Oh, Titus Burgess, like Kimmy Schmidt's in it. And we were listening to some music from Ella. And then Eddie goes, he goes, yeah, yeah. I remember one time at the Grammys, I think it was the Grammys maybe. And he goes, and Mike and I walked down.

We went to say hi to Ella Fitzgerald. And Ella Fitzgerald, she turned and she looked at us. And she said, she said, well, look at these two young, handsome men. He was like, and I was like, he said, Mike and I both were like, woo, like this. And he goes, and I said, Ella had some bad breath. It was crazy. Like Ella Fitzgerald. And we were like, oh my God,

we just heard of Ella Fitzgerald. So a young lady by the name of Divine Joy Randolph, she was on Broadway as Odetta from Ghost, from the movie Ghost Music. So she's playing Lady Queen Bee in the movie. This is like the one female, kind of titular female character. And she's a younger woman.

And she turns to me and she goes, who's Mike? And I go, honey, it's Eddie Murphy. He's talking about Michael Jackson. He was just hanging around with Michael Jackson because that's Eddie Murphy. Like, do you understand? Do you understand who that is?

That's Eddie Murphy. So when he just says Mike, he just goes, well, I was over at Mike's house, just hanging out with Mike. So me and Mike, and you understand? Do you understand who that is? That's Eddie Murphy. So when he just says Mike, he just goes, well, I was over at Mike's house, just hanging out with Mike. So me and Mike, and you have to remember, anybody, any name he talks about, that's who he's hanging out with.

And everything that Charlie ever said on Chappelle, true. It's all true. And you talk about, you know, going backstage, saw Prince like 50 times. Prince used to open for Rick James. Back in like controversy, dirty minds in that era. Oh yeah. It's insane.

It's just all the stories. Who's who of who's who. Well, what's fascinating about him is it still seems like he likes making people laugh. He does. He just doesn't want to do it professionally. Because I've heard stories like that where he likes entertaining large groups and the movie crew and like the fucking key grip.

Yeah. But he would never go on the SNL 40 year anniversary and tell jokes and tell jokes or do a bit like he just came out what chris rock introduced him right he comes out just says thank you right and then he's done and and craig said well why did you come out and eddie said he said you know what i realized i realized after listen what am i gonna do i'm gonna hold a grudge it's 1994 he goes because david spade told a joke about me i'm gonna hold a grudge because i had to let it go i had to let it go so big of him you know what i mean like because like you're a lot like it's not healthy necessarily but if you're eddie murphy in in the rules of this town you're kind of allowed to do whatever you want for the rest of your life yeah and i feel like he's kind of there's been a maturation there

right and it was fascinating for him to say he just came out and said it and just shared the information. I think it's rough, the amount of fame and celebrity and money he made at the age he was at. There's no way to deal with that. It's not fair. He was 21 and he was the biggest star in the world. In the world. Literally in the world. And remember, Chris Rock said to me one day, he goes, you got to remember, he's the biggest star in the world. And he was top five for like 14 years. That's insane, Bill. You can't even do that anymore.

You can't even, like Jennifer Lawrence will not be, she can't be the top, in the top five, 14 straight years. And she's like, to me, one of the best, like one of the upper echelon. Right. We can't do it anymore. There's too many outlets. I was thinking about that when Burt Reynolds died just now. Yeah. We did a podcast about him on Friday.

He was, when I was a child, he was the biggest actor we had for like five years. For five years. Anything he put out, it was like, here's me. I'm driving a car with a hat on. Oh, $300 million. How is this? How are you making money doing this? It's just really good. Making money driving a car with a hat on. Oh, $300 million. How is this? How are you making money doing this? It's just really good.

Making money driving a car with a hat on. I'm Hooper. I'm Smokey. It didn't matter. And he, I mean, the closest we have today is Dwayne, right? Dwayne's the closest we have. Like, you know, in Korea and India and Spain and China, he's going to pull in 300 mil there no matter what.

Will Smith was like that for a while. Will was that, you're right. I think Will- I don't know if he's there anymore, but he had that for 15, 16 years. Yeah, I think you're right. He was a go picture like that. Hey, let's take a quick break to talk about my bookie. As you know, if you listen to the first 45 minutes of this podcast, I am prone to give advice, especially on picking games. The truth is I'm not positive who's going to win. I think I have a chance, but if you think you know, you got to check out MyBookie. They're your best bet

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Don't forget to use the promo code Bill Simmons when creating your account to claim the bonus. You play, you win, you get paid. Back to Keegan-Michael Key. Eddie, to me, is one of those first people, certainly from our generation, who you're going to go, could go 14 straight years. That's insane. It's not.

The other thing is we really needed him when he became famous, especially like with the situation with blacks on television and how few shows there were and it was basically like isaac the bartender yep yep it was george jefferson and george jefferson short like gary coleman types and and then all of a sudden eddie comes out of nowhere and it's like oh my god and yeah yeah that was it he was carrying this whole burden for everybody like comedy priors kind of fading out at that point. And it was just kind of him for a while. Then the next wave followed him.

And undeniable. It took four years. Yeah, he's like undeniable. Like you couldn't deny the talent. You'd be an idiot not to sign him for that next movie. He was the most likable young celebrity I think ever. Because he would come on like Letterman. And Carson. It was like an event.

Yeah, it was like an event. Oh no, Eddie's on tonight. Eddie's on. Yeah. I remember seeing him in 82 and then he came back on like Letterman. And Carson. It was like an event. Yeah, it was like an event. Oh no, Eddie's on tonight. Eddie's on. Yeah. I remember seeing him in 82 and then he came back on in 83. And I remember Carson asked him to do a Cosby impersonation.

And he went, nah. And he just didn't do it. To Carson. Wow. To Carson. Like he was that powerful. He was like, nah no and he's so charming the audience just goes yep do what you want eddie they ate it up they were like oh like

you could see the titillation from the audience like oh he just said no to carson he could do whatever he wanted did you ever get comfortable enough for them to bust his balls not really no day 20 no no that's not like the tiny and, tiny and so on. Oh, I might have one day, what did I, I think I disagreed with him on something one day. And so did the first, like, it was me in the first AD. And Eddie's like, no, no, no. What happened? Like, you and I, it might've been as quick as what you and I just did. I said, he was 19.

You said, no, no, he's 21 when it came out. Yeah. It might've been that quick. Like, something that quick. Or you went head to head for a split second. Like, a split second. And then it almost all made me like, where do I think I am?

I'm not in my place. You're right, Eddie. I'm not, what do I say? And Eddie's team, like I have this great Afro wig and his woman who does all his hair, has been doing his hair maybe before, like right before Norbit. She did all, you know, she did my wig.

And she's amazing. Like his entourage, his team, amazing, amazing, amazing. And working with, he was, he was as, my heart was pounding the first day. It was like a scene with just me and him. And my heart was pounding and he was such a lovely giving scene partner. So fantastic.

And, and, and he was everything. I'm the same way. I'm a loving, giving scene partner. You are, you're a very lovely, loving and giving scene partner. You haven't acted with me yet, but I'm the same way. I like to sell my, my coworkers partner. You are. You're a very loving and giving, sweet partner. You haven't acted with me yet, but I'm the same way. I like to sell my coworkers. It is funny, though, when you're around somebody like that. Because when I was on the basketball show with Magic Johnson on ESPN, and you're just around this person all day who is like one of the most famous people of your life.

Of your lifetime, right, yeah. And you're just sitting around, and we're in this room with him and Jalen and there's six TV show and basketball and you're just kind of hanging out. And there's Magic Johnson and eventually you just want to go like, Magic, what was Rick James like? You just want to ask. You just want to ask.

And then he'll tell and he'll have stories about anybody. Who's the best looking actress you ever saw in Hollywood in the 80s? Exactly. Like who knocked you out? And we'd say to Eddie, Eddie would just offer information about Piscopo.

Piscopo and I did this and that was Joe's idea. And when we did this or when I played Stevie, no, I only did that one time. How about Malik Shabazz? He's like, no, just once. Just once. I'm like, oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, sir. Yes, sir, Mr. Murphy. And he would just, he would just, he just, like, if you

asked, he was more than willing to talk about the glory days. Did you feel like he had watched Key and Peele or he had no idea it happened? I only, I felt like he had no idea that it happened. His manager said, yeah, I love that kid. So I don't know how he would have known me. So I am, but I never, I wouldn't have the balls to say, did you enjoy my show? See, my guess is somebody who's that famous, you can't really go anywhere.

You're actually probably watching a ton of TV. I would guess he saw it. I think he has to have, right? What's he doing all day? It's not like he's at a mall. He just had his 10th kid. He's helping out his kids. I guess he does have 10 kids. There's 10 kids. And then he goes, 10 kids! And then he also,

he'll tell you about the part, like he loves the fights, right? He's a boxing aficionado. True, right. And he told a story about Sly and George. George Clinton and Sly, Sly and the family, like Sly,

I don't even know Sly's last name, but Sly and the family stone. Sly and the family stone, yeah. At his house. He doesn't even remember inviting them. They just ended up at his house at a party because that's all he can do is have parties. Yeah. That's all he can do. People have to come to him to hang out. Where the hell can he go?

And the reverence though, Bill, on the set when there's a couple of days where there's more than a hundred background, the reverence, even from young people, because if you're black and your parents are my age or older than me, then we certainly know who Eddie Murphy is. And they know, the young kids know. If you're young and African-American, you still, he still looms large. Yeah, I don't think, I wrote about this for Grantland like five years ago when he was doing that comeback movie.

I don't think he ever got credit for being a trailblazer. Because like he basically, he goes on SNL, which is an all-white show except for Garrett Morris, who was always relegated to the side. To side always and in the fifth season they made garrett like he was the monkey in a wizard of oz sketch it was like some bad shit yeah yeah yeah and then they have basically no black people the sixth season but he's kind of on as this ninth and then he kind of takes over the show just grabs it by the scruff of the neck he never gets mentioned with like the grave the way he should He's a paved the way guy.

Yeah, if there's a Mount Rushmore, he's like the second head. It's like Belushi Hinn, as far as I'm concerned. I think he's the best. I think he's the only one who's ever been on that show who is actually overqualified to be on it. Yep, yep, I agree. Will Ferrell, I think, is the best cast member

ever other than him, but I think Eddie is like, it's kind of amazing he was even on the show. Yeah. He could sing. He could do impressions. He could, it's like the total package. He could look, he could look like a fool. He could look intimidating.

He could do absolutely, I mean, he's the reason me, Jordan, any of our writers, I mean, yeah, I adore Pryor, but that guy was my functional, practical idol. And he was the one that made me go, well, when I made him, and if that guy can do it, especially when you hear about him being 18, 19, 20 years old, I could actually fathom that at 12, 13, 14, I could fathom that. And who knows, and I'm speculating now, who knows if Lorne had stayed at that time and Dick Ebersole had not come on, what would the difference have been? You know what I mean? And then I never know if that has anything to do with it,

that Lorne wasn't there and then he came back and there was this era with this person who was- I think Lorne resented that the show actually succeeded when he was out. Without him there, yeah. Because it goes under if Eddie's not on the cast. The show's gone. 100, no, he's-

And he saves it for three straight years. Single-handedly saves the show. did what like you think about jordan going to the i'm gonna go to the wizards right like but he but but he couldn't do it he couldn't do it this person literally did it you could have watched him remember with with commercials you're looking at 74 minutes of programming a saturday and two musical acts. And two musical acts. So in 74 minutes, I would have watched nothing but him for those three years. Yeah. And I was in love with Julia Louis-Dreyfus. And I even thought Gary Kroger was funny. I loved Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Awesome. I remember when- I had always loved Seinfeld because he used to go and kill on Letterman. Yeah. And I even made my parents take me to see Seinfeld like twice in the 80s. And when he got that show and it was like, the dude from Fridays is on it? Michael Richards? The dude from Fridays.

And then the girl from SNL. I was like, oh my God, I love those people. I didn't know what had happened to them. She was gone for like four years. And you're like, when you look at her now, you look at Julia now, you just go, how wasn't she always working? The other thing about Julia is-

She was like 22 on that show or something, right? And she and Brad Hall, they used to work in the theater. It was called the Practical Theater Company in Chicago, which was behind the Second City. And then the Second City bought that space and turned it into the secondary space, which was called the Second City. And then the Second City bought that space and turned it into the secondary space, which was called the Second City ETC. And that's where I came up.

So I left the Second City in Detroit, went to Chicago and I did two and a half years. My first show was with Jack McBrayer. Wow. And I got there right, so just five years before Horatio Sands and Rachel Dratch, those guys like to go to the main stage and then go off into the world.

Because Rachel was working with Tina Fey, Adam McKay, Scott Adsit, all those guys. And as I came up and I moved from Detroit over to Chicago, I remember I had heard that the part of the history was that this is where Julia Dreyfuss and Brad Hall were, you know, and they're lovely people. We know them. We're friendly with them and they're lovely people. Me and my wife. And one thing about Julia that I just find so, she's one of these people,

somehow she's getting more attractive as she's getting older. It's insane. I don't know if it's styles or what it is, but she's a lovely heart. She's a firebrand. She's genuinely hysterical and she's gorgeous. She's just, she's the full package. It's her and Ted Danson have kind of defied. Yeah. Like Ted Danson, Cheers is 82. Now he's on like his next show that people love. People love The Good Place now. Yeah, yeah. He's amazing. And it's like 2018, 37 years.

Is it me? Or has his voice never changed? Like the timbre doesn't change. I don't feel like he's changed. Other than the white hair, right? He's just charming and kind of like, what say guys? You know? And it's-

It's so funny. It's interesting because people, people in the cast of our movie, like those kids, those young kids, they know who Eddie is. And then you'll find like, you'll take 10 young kids, right? And five of them will know, five of them will know who Wesley is and five won't know who Wesley is. And Wesley was- Let's go back to Wesley.

Wesley's another one of those. So I had John David Washington on my pod like three weeks ago. Awesome. I was saying to him, without saying it, I was saying he could have that five-year Wesley Snipes run. Because he's athletic, good-looking guy. Good-looking guy. Charming. He can do comedy, but he can also do like action thriller.

Run and jumps. Like he could do passenger 57 right now. Absolutely, yeah. Now you could remake that one. 100%. You could remake that one with a little twist. Yeah, just do. Just add a C to it.

Always bet on black. Yeah, but. Again. Wesley's six year run was kind of unassailable. Yeah, you can't get. Starting with New Jack and then going all the way through. Like it's like six in a row. And don't forget a couple of art piecesailable. Yeah. Starting with New Jack and then going all the way through. It's like six in a row.

And don't forget a couple of art pieces in the middle. Water dance. Yeah. Tu Wong Fu. Oh, yeah. Had the balls to do Tu Wong Fu.

Pardon the pun. You know what I mean? But it's like that. So in that, I think I'm going to say you're right, but I'm not arguing that. That's unassailable. That's unassailable.

That's a great six-year run. That's a great six-year run, especially, and the first time, the day I met him, got to tell you're right, but I'm not arguing that. That's unassailable. That's unassailable. That's a great six year run. That's a great six year run, especially, and I met the first time the day I met him, got to tell you, he said, hello, brother,

I love you and that other cat. You and that other cat do some really good work. I'm really, like just was very infusive. Well, everyone says he's quirky. I'm going to be nice. Yes.

There's a quirkiness about Wesley. I personally found it delightful because he- I would find it delightful as well. He's, I'm like, you know, I'm like a theater kid. Yeah. And so is he. He's a theater kid.

Really? He did the SUNY, like SUNY purchase, I think. And he's like a real theater guy. And I got to, it was a beautiful day where it was a scene between me. It was a great scene between Wesley and me and Eddie. And Eddie and I are both like, my character's written the script for the first Dolomite movie.

Not a good writer. Yeah. Summarily, not a good writer. And so Rudy and Jerry, these two characters, are arguing with Derville, who he plays as the director, about, no, no, but the reason that the warden is letting him go is because the governor is friends with the woman who owns the whorehouse. He goes, well, how the fuck does that make any fucking sense? And then he walks out and then Eddie does this great thing where he turns around and he's like, you know, reading the riot act about how, Hey man, we're all trying to make this movie and we're all working hard here. And to watch like Wesley go, okay, baby, you're like, you're just going, okay, now that's,

that's an actor choice. Like there's movie choices. And I've seen, I've seen Wesley make movie choices and I've seen Wesley do every, he knows how to up, go up and down the scale on the dial. He can go, he can go, he did it numerous times in one film in white men can't jump beautiful

moments with his wife. And then these great over the top moments with like K like Kadeem Hardison and all the guys. I still can't forgive his dribbling in that movie. The dribbling's bad. And lots, lots of carrying. Really good athlete who seemed like he hadn't played a lot of hoops. But he was like faking it, but in ways that if, you know. No, I know.

I know what you're saying. He's one of my dream podcasts. I just feel like he'd be off the rails. I think he'd, I think. I think he would tell. I just want to go through his IMDB and I feel like he would tell stories of each movie and be like, all right, pasture 57, walk me through it. Right, right, right, right. And just fly through it.

You know, since the last time you were here, you came on with Jordan and we were talking about what's next. And he's like, yeah, I'm doing this horror movie. Yep. Yep. It's been a dream project of mine. And I remember I was sitting right here and he was there. And I remember thinking like, fucking horror movie.

What the fuck's this guy talking about? Right, right, right, right. And then it becomes a phenomenon. Yeah. He, I, I, I know him pretty well. Obviously. And I knew, I knew him well enough to know that at that time in his life, he, he had been, he had started writing that movie right after he left, um, mad TV. So there was that whole controversy with Lorne and he was

going to play Obama. And I was there and, and he, even to this day, he'll look back and go, I'm kind of glad that I didn't have that last year in mad TV. That didn't take up my time. I could focus it on these couple of scripts I was writing. Both of them, by the way, were horror scripts. And then when Key & Peele started, I remember he first came to me one day and said, let's read Keanu. And we did the Keanu thing, which he co-wrote with one of our writers on staff. And then he had been working on this.

It had been germinating the whole time. I feel like Jordan has a lot of respect and a lot of admiration for the people at Pixar. You know, like people go, Pixar movies, they're so good. Well, they better be. It takes six years to make them. It takes six years to make every Pixar movie.

They better be good. He rewrote that script and rewrote that script. If you've heard his Oscar speech, he even talks about, I mean, a quit 20 times. I said, screw it 20 times. And it's just that he just kept wrestling with it and pulling it apart and rewriting and starting over and then taking that old, the draft from three years ago and putting that scene in here. I mean, he just wouldn't. He's so, talk about unassailable.

His energy and commitment and work ethic is unassailable. He's unbelievable. He's amazing. So he was in this position where he said, I'm not going to quit. I have something here. And he did. It was just amazing, Bill. It was the best movie of last year and it makes me mad. But we knew it though. We knew it wasn't going to win Best Picture.

But 10 years from now, it'll be the movie people remember I think first. That's the one. And it's almost like this unofficial title of Better. It's better, right? It's kind of, well, it'd be better to win the It'd be better's almost like this unofficial title of- Better. It's better, right? It's kind of, well, it'd be better to win the- It'd be better to have- He has won Oscar. I guess he has won Oscar.

It's just annoying. Hey, people were, I don't know. Right now he's on, so where is he? He's E-A right now. He's E-A. So he's not an E-got. He's an E-A. He's got Emmy and Oscar.

So he'd have to go do Broadwayway to get a tony that's easy and either of you guys could bang out the tony yeah and the tone yeah i'm gonna find the right musical or play or bingo yeah i mean we could if we wrote it together and did it together what's that the grammy would be hard the grammy's the tough one because the grammys are there's no rhyme or reason to any of them there's i don't even know how you win one you get into the world and there's still no rhyme and reason right like if would take us three or four years to get into the world, unless we did like a spoken word, key and peel album that was somehow subversive enough to get all the hubbub

still doesn't guarantee a win. It doesn't guarantee a win. I thought my lions were going to win last night. I could have told you that coach you got. Oh boy. We're taping this on the, on the 11th. Actually,

you know, you're talking about people young who don't have a sense. I was thinking today, it's been 17 years since nine 11. that coach you got oh boy we're taping this on the uh on the 11th actually you know you talk about people young who don't have a sense i was thinking today it's been 17 years since 9-11 and i have people who work here at the ringer who probably don't remember it like if you're 21 22 23 you're employed and you really don't remember 9-11 no you don't which made me think like holy shit we're just getting old that means if you were 21 years old you don't remember in in in set if you were 21 years old in 1796 you don't remember your parents would be like who's the guy you know the guy you're the guy

the guy's like one two if i see i don, dad. I'm just out here farming the crops. I don't know. I don't know. That's amazing. Yeah. I think the nostalgia point is somewhere 15 to 20 for either good memories or bad. Right, right, right. It's 15 to 20.

Yeah. So like we did, we did a rewatch of those podcasts on rounders, which is 20 years. That's about as far, but that's on TV a lot. It has a little extra shelf life. No, rounders is good. Rounders is good. But yours, when did Key & Peele, when did you launch? So 2012. So we're at- So you're a while away. We're a ways away, yeah.

I think Chappelle's show was like 04, and that is down the nostalgia. And that's the nostalgia now. And so in 2020, well, I said 2012, right? So in 2032, but the problem, I have people walk up to me on the street and I know Jordan does too. My nine-year-old, blah, blah, blah, and blah, blah, blah, A-A-Ron. I'm from Hulu. Not Hulu. So we're in a different world, right? So nine-year-old, you and I would have to order- That's my son. Right. My son's 10. My son, I guarantee he's watching the show on Hulu or YouTube.

You and i had to order ktel records or it just was gone if you missed eddie on snl it was just sitting here to see it i just never saw it and so your son my hope certainly i hope that your son grows up and lives in a world where he goes oh yeah you should watch that do you know those guys oh i remember those guys when i was a little kid i used to watch them on youtube or whatever. No. The problem, or maybe it's not a problem, is they're just cherry picking the very best things you did. Correct.

Yeah, they won't deep dive. There's no ebb and flow. Like Eddie had so many bad SNL sketches, for example, 35 years ago, but we just remember Celebrity Hot Tub. We just remember Celebrity, yeah, and Hot Tub. So yours are like the YouTube views

determine or whatever, determine like the YouTube views determined or whatever determine like the top six probably. And he's probably seen that. Exactly. He's probably, yeah. There's like six to 10. I'd say, and I guarantee you on a list of 298 scenes, that's how many scenes we made 298, 270 of them or 275 of them made it on, on screen on television. Yeah. And it's always delightful to meet somebody on the street who goes, you know, who goes, you know, I like, I like, uh, I like double gangsters or I like, um, a British, uh, British, British gangster. And I'm like, oh, wait, oh, wait a minute. Okay. Hold on. Somebody who actually watched the show, because when you hear people say,

there he is, a Ron, like, no, no offense, but they just watched substitute teacher two times during Thanksgiving. Like, I get it. Thanks. I'm like, we appreciate the hits are helpful. on like no no offense but they just watched substitute teacher two times during thanksgiving like i get it thanks i'm like we appreciate the hits are helpful like you know it's helpful for our careers i hope in the long run it's just like if i'm doing substitute teacher could you please also go see the predator right like they don't even have any idea bill there are people who still don't understand that jordan and i had a show, like grown people, not your son, but like grown people who would have been in their twenties or thirties in 2012, still don't know. We had a girl walked up to me on the street in 2014, 2014, 2013, 2014 in Portland, Oregon. A girl walked me on the street. She goes, I've been with you. I've been with you guys since

the beginning. I've been with you guys since that, when, since you started making your videos and I was like, your videos, it's interesting. I said, you actually, we created a narrative we didn't even mean to create. People thought that we started the show, that they thought Comedy Central discovered us from making videos. That's amazing. Isn't that amazing?

They had no idea we had a television show because appointment television watching started, when do you think appointment television stopped happening? Oh, I think in the last five years, five years. Right. So we'll say now it's just done.

No, there's no appointment. Unless it's sports or sports or your, or, or you watch CBS, like because the demographic is older, right? They want their appointment.

They brought Murphy Brown back. I saw the Murphy Brown commercial in football this week. I don't know if it was a joke or not. They brought that back in Magna PI. Yeah. And they have football this week. I don't know if it was a joke or not. They brought that back in Magnum PI. Yeah. And they have Hawaii Five-0 already. I know.

It's amazing. You just have no ideas left. What are you guys doing? So you're right. I think since 2010, 2012, 2013. Well, streaming's great for the show. Absolutely. No, it helps us immensely. It's really good.

Because you're just, you're actually adding fans. As we go, right. We're getting, not exponentially, but as we go right we're getting we're not exponentially but they're growing they're growing just a new generation of the kids who were like probably 10 to 15 who didn't see it when it was on and now we're like what's this and my hope is that they'll feel cool when they're in college and people have forgotten about keen peel and they'll go but you know what the good shit is yeah you ever seen yeah they'll say oh i saw that new sketch? They're not as good as Key and Peele.

It's not good to get, yeah. Yeah, they'll say, oh, I saw that new sketch show. It's not as good as Key and Peele. Like we never thought this would, I never thought this would happen. Maybe Jordan did. But in a way we are, you and I had to go get the Flying Circus videotapes.

Yeah. Right? We had to invest in time to be Monty Python fans or stay up late and watch PBS to watch the Flying Circus or one of the movies. And it's what we're doing, what everybody's doing now is so much more accessible. Why did I do that, Bill? Why did I look over there like I had an audience? Well, you do. I just, I like this one because I had an audience, but it was, so yeah, it was, it was so satisfying to see him win that Oscar. What happens if Netflix or Hulu comes to you guys and says,

do 10 episodes for us and here's a staggering amount of money? Because that day's probably coming. I think so. I have to talk to Jordan about it. Listen, somebody just asked me the other day, they said, is Jordan insanely jealous you're in this movie? I said, not at all. He's just happy being the Black Stanley Kubrick.

No, you guys, yeah, you guys are, I think you guys, it's obvious just watching from afar. You guys really love each other and you're pulling for each other. Always. You were one of the happiest people at the Oscars. I might've been happier than him. I might've been happier than him.

I think that I would be more than happy to do it. Yeah, Bob and Dave did it, who are heroes of our, friends and heroes, and friends colleagues and heroes they did it um bob odin kirk has encouraged me he's like if you when you he doesn't even say if when you guys do it well there's there's a real reason to do it you know there's i mean which the elephant in the room which we don't have to talk about but i would say the times are a little different yeah than when you had the show yeah yeah well it's there, there's things that are maybe ripe to have fun with. May I speak to that just for one second? I'll speak to it vaguely.

Yeah. My feeling is, knowing Jordan, if interested and had a desire to do it. Jordan's up to the task because he never stops working. The hard part is we could just frame everything from our point of view comedically and people were interested in seeing it. The leader of the free world at the time had very similar backgrounds to me and Jordan. In fact, Jordan's been quoted as saying, I don't know that we'd have a show if he wasn't in the Oval Office. It made sense. At that time. Yeah. Now, a lot of people are of the opinion that it would make sense for us to do it again now. And my concern is that we've,

perhaps we've gone from the sublime to the ridiculous, which means that Jordan and I would have to find an end around to the ridiculous. like we'd have to figure out how to either stand outside and, and make comedy about watching what's going on as opposed to experiential comedy inside of what's going on. I don't know how we would make it. It's funny, right? It is comedic what we're witnessing and also not comedic well i think snl

it really hurt i thought the baldwin stuff was not good last year because you can't parody what's already a parody there's nowhere to go i made a mistake i pitched how do you do it i don't know how you do it it's already here i pitched a scene in the first season of can't peel i pitched remember the old marines commercial yeah few of the proud where the guy pulls like he's in the wheat field and he pulls the sword out of the thing and it's gleaming and he goes and fights the lava monster right so ostensibly what you're doing is you're telling young men they can go fight a lava monster and And Comedy Central's note was, it's already too ridiculous. Like you can't make a sketch off of a human man killing a lava monster and then you get to be a Marine.

I'm like, is that what boot camps like at Parris Island? Where are they keeping the lava monsters? And so they were like, you can't make it weird. That's it. We're in the same place. I should just say it. You said it. I'm saying it.

What can Alec do? There's nothing you can do. You can do any it's already ridiculous he can't do anything so we would people like you know obama really needs that someone said to me trump needs an anger translator i'm like he has one it's called twitter he's true what are you talking about he's got it already he does not he doesn't need luther luther can't and shit now luther can absolutely retire yeah now unless unless luther goes on a vision quest to find obama you know what i mean but you know or the luther's just not saying anything yeah or there's no translation needed i'm out man hey i'm on a boondock hey listen man they just paying me they paying paying me. I just stand here. Are my checks cashy?

Just so long as nobody's afraid of this particular black man, I don't get shot at one of these rallies. That's all he cares about. Yeah. It's nothing for him to do. There's nothing for him to do. I'd be fine with a tiny comeback, but you guys are busy. We're busy, but I kind of want to, I'd like to talk to him. At some point, you don't want to sit this out. I that's i guess that would be the appeal remember he's but he jordan

was already in it with get out which was basically i think that was one of the reasons that movie worked so well yeah it's it was it was zeitgeist not a hot not a hot take yeah exactly not one of the it was the right year for that movie 100 and he, you have to remember also in regard to his life, making another movie now, really excited to see it, Elizabeth Moss, Lupita Nyong'o. And he's in the midst of it. He's got a month left.

He's like in the weeds. Also baby, like a one-year-old boy. He's still technically a newlywed. Just learned to drive, has his nice, beautiful maroon Volvo station wagon. A new part of his life is dawning. And I'd like to see what we as a team could glean from that. I'd love to hear his.

I want to hear Jordan Peele's takes, the lens Jordan Peele sees parenthood through. Can I ask you about Friends from College really quick? Please. One of the strangest viewing experiences I've ever had. I'm just going to be honest. The first four episodes didn't work for me okay and i'm like i'm sticking with this i don't know why and then the last what was it eight it was eight episodes in the first season or ten maybe it might have been ten so maybe you watch four and six eight no no no you're right no i think you're right it's eight it's four and four you're right it's eight and then something flipped

and by the end of it my wife and i I, because we watched it together, we binge watched it. The kids were gone. And the last four, we were all in. I'm like, I'm in. I'm in. Are these people coming back? Did they renew this? And then it turned out they renewed it.

They renewed it. And now it's coming back. We come out in January. I thought it took a while to hit its stride, but then I really felt like it did hit its stride. Now, what was the turning point for you? I don't know whether it was, I don't know. It's been a year. So this was like last, last July. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was somewhere between, there was some sort of road trip maybe. Did they go somewhere? We went to Long Island. We went to the North Fork.

Is that like the fifth episode? Yeah. We went to the North Fork and drank shitty wine. There was an episode where it kind of came together and it was like, you could just be like, oh, they get it now. They get what the show is. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know whether that was just a happy accident or whatever, but I was in after that. That's, I really appreciate that opinion because I, you know, mostly what I hear that what I've heard the most from people is we like the show. So maybe a lot of people, I don't know, maybe a lot of people had that experience. All I hear is we like the show as a whole. And then the other thing you hear is, oh my gosh, I'm so glad that, that bunny rabbit lived. You hear, I hope mostly from women, mostly from women. Oh, you didn't kill. Thank God you didn't

kill the rabbit. But what I, what I find interesting about it, Bill is what Nick and Francesca did is they wanted to make a five and a half hour movie that we cut into segments to make it super bingeable so that you feel like you're, so it's interesting. So I wanted people to feel like they were watching a movie and couldn't stop watching it. So the beginning of the movie was a little slow, a little slow. Yeah. And then it picked up on the characters and, but succession was like that too on HBO. Right, right. With Brian Cox and those guys. Yeah, yeah. That took three episodes.

And then all of a sudden you kind of look around and go, I'm in. I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. They've yanked me in. So I'm excited to see where those, I love ensemble where the characters have a history with each other and somebody slept with somebody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like those have worked forever going back. Obviously the big show, a little bit of DNA in there, but there's been multiple tries at this.

So I'm always in when- The second, you'll always give it a try, right? Always. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, there's six, seven friends from college. They're back together. Let's see. Great.

Second season is great. Or it's like a high school reunion. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Second season. Second season's when? January, January. And I mean-

And Predators this weekend. Predators this weekend. Yeah, the 14th. I Googled you and there was this whole Olivia Munn controversy. I was like, oh my God. So that's like, is that slowed down? We're taping this on like a Tuesday?

Yeah. Let's say it's slowed down. That was weird though. It was. It was. Yeah. yeah it was you said your piece we don't have to i love it it's like we said before like i'm glad that that the movie the movie itself so much fun i love uh i always just feel like i want to say i love canadians because we shot the whole thing the entire thing in vancouver and what's like vancouver i love vancouver and there's something i realized in the beginning of the movie there's a jungle scene We shot the whole thing, the entire thing in Vancouver. And what sometimes- I like Vancouver. I love Vancouver.

And there's something I realized in the beginning of the movie, there's a jungle scene. And I said to Boyd Holbrook one day, I said, wait, what'd you guys shoot the jungle scene in Mexico? He goes, Vancouver. Well, how did you do that? Like, you forget because the only people you ever see are us, right? You only ever see the actors. And then you forget, like, somehow the prop people put all of the palm fronds and all the right places to make it look like i just went oh i thought that you guys went out you didn't

vancouver like it doesn't have anything it looks like portland yeah how you make it look like a jungle so it was the crew is really great and and and we had a nice ensemble. Like our very first shot that we shot was in a really like tight area in a bus. And I think Shane's idea was, if I can put them in a miserable space, then they'll commiserate about how miserable the space is and it'll build camaraderie. And it fricking worked. Wow.

And it worked. And then we all would go out and have dinner and we'd all eat, we'd eat together. And we all gave movie suggestions to each other all the time. Because like we were working so many nights that you'd say, all eat, we'd eat together. And we all gave movie suggestions to each other all the time. Because like we were working so many nights that you'd say, all right, I want you to watch Reflections of a Golden Eye, Robert Forster's first film, Liz Taylor, Marlon Brando, Brian Keith, and Augusto Aguilar. It was like a book club.

Yeah, it was a book club. Okay, you watch Incendies, which was the last french canadian film that uh denny uh made okay i'm on it uh you watch this okay i'm gonna watch um something uh what's the what's the movie with um with gene hackman and his son and uh uncommon valor i'm gonna watch uncommon valor then of course we all watched all the predator movies including the avp movies i'm a fan like i'm a shameless fan like i'll just take genre. I'll take schlocky genre sometimes. Like, you know, like you're up at night.

You know, when you hear these stories about when they had the cast hang out for chemistry purposes, it always goes well. There's never a story about, yeah, so we brought the cast in two weeks early, but then Wesley Stipes tried to stab somebody. So we sent everyone home until- There was a brawl.

There was a battle royale. It always works out great. It always works out great. It's never a disaster. Maybe every movie should do this. They should do that every time. I mean, we did all of our training together, like training with weapons

and how to cover each other and walk a room. I mean, all of it was fantastic. And everybody had fun and, you know, different, different, different guys. You get a guy who's 31 and a guy who's 25 and a guy who's 47 and a guy who's 38. And the movie, you know, it's been a big journey for all of us too. Like, like Boyd, who's, you know, the male lead in the movie, he and his wife weren't pregnant when we started shooting it. They now have a seven month old son. That's how long it's been. And so we've all been in each other's lives.

Did you ask Sterling K. Brown to give a speech at all? The greatest speech giver ever? He's the best speech giver. Has anyone ever given better award speeches? I was at the Time 100 Awards for this year. And they asked him to talk about someone who was influential, a woman who was influential in his life. And he talked about Mrs. B.

I came up with, she was his history teacher, his English teacher. Greatest speech. Like the greatest speech like we're all and the funniest we'd get on set and probably we'd be talking about something and sterling would then point to me what were you pointing to me for right it's like well you're the leader maybe i'm the leader then shane's like he's the leader and then shane leaves the room i'm like all right guys let's say like i'm the guy that would say i was like i didn't know i was the leader i thought i was julie the cruise director i thought i was setting up all the entertainment here, but, um, Does he have a daughter?

Uh, no. Sterling. No. Sterling has two sons. He needs to have a daughter just to give the father of the bride speech at the wedding. Yeah. Yeah. The most emotional wedding speech ever.

You can hire that guy to do wedding speeches for anybody else's daughter. New other daughters. Like some kind of working class guy in Pittsburgh goes, you know, I'm not very good at this. I heard that guy from Mrs. Oz. She's coming in here. I hear the words and he's going to say it. That would be an SNL sketch. It would be a great sketch. They should have done that sketch when he

hosted last year. Still in the K-Brown. Wedding speech for hire. That's hilarious. Well, good luck with the movie. Good luck with everything. I'm excited for all this stuff. Great to see you as well. Me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. We'll talk to you soon. All right. Well, good luck with the movie. Good luck with everything. Thanks so much, man. Good to see you, Bill. I'm excited for all this stuff. Great to see you as well. Me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. We'll talk to you soon.

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