The Bill Simmons Podcast - Part 2: A Best Super Bowl LVII Props Extravaganza With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

In Part 2 of a two-part podcast, The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal, and they run through some of their favorite Super Bowl prop bets. Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Associate Producer: Isaiah Blakely Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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the NHL's best. They're all on Prime. Prime Monday Night Hockey. It's on Monday. It's on Prime. Hey, if you missed part one of the two-part Sunday Night Podcast, a little special edition, me and Ryan Rosillo and Joe House broke down the Kyrie Irving trade, as well as a bunch of trade deadline stuff and the ramifications of that trade on some of the other things that might happen. You can go listen to that. Coming up here, part two. Our scheduled guest for today was Cousin Sal.

As always during football season on Sundays, we're still doing it. Part two is going to be us going through all the Super Bowl props, as well as a very, very lively parent corner. So that is all next. First, once again, our friends from Pearl Jam. All right, Cousin Salas here. We're taping this part of the podcast.

Part two, 5 o'clock Pacific time. The big Super Bowl props extravaganza. The Gary Russell Award. It's the Gary Russell Award still, right? We never changed it? It is. Gary Russell Annual No Name's the Gary Russell Award still, right? We never changed it? It is. Gary Russell Annual No Name Player Prop of the Year. But the fact that this has to be part two, I feel bad for you.

You used to know what's important, and now you really just lost all. I mean, who gives a crap that Kyrie Irving, he's going to be dealt three more times between now and Thursday. He probably will. Yeah. He's just getting passed around. I am getting more and more excited between now and Thursday. He probably will. He's just getting passed around. I am getting more and more excited for this football game.

The line is not budged. It has been one and a half. It is just sitting there. There's no direction either way. There's tease potential. There's parlay potential. There's adjusted line potential. There's all these different things. I know you're going to give out your pick on extra points later this week,

but are you, are you leaning toward anybody at this point? Cause I have a hard lean that I think has affected some of my props. Really? Uh, yes, I'm leaning a little bit. I'll give it out at the end of the week. I was not surprised to think that a lot of people were taking Cincinnati over Kansas city. I am surprised that so many are taking Philadelphia.

Now that we saw what homes could do. That's not saying that I'm going to whatever. I I've talked to some experts who think this could move to a pick them. So if you're looking at the chiefs at all for on a teaser, don't look too long, do it now. So you can grab the seven and a half or whatever it is. But,

uh, yeah, I'm, I'm excited about this one. It's a great matchup. Yeah. There's on Fando. There was an adjusted chiefs plus seven and a half Eagles plus seven and a half.

So like more value than a tease, right? Cause you're getting to move the Eagles nine points. That's minus one 20 right now on Fando. So you're basically saying, I think this game will be seven points or less, and I have no idea who's going to win. And I think most people feel like this is going to be a close game.

So I thought that was, I thought the odds would be way higher for that. So, but that's the point is like, as long as it's in this one and a half thing, you have all these options. If you love the chiefs, you just pull them back to seven and a half,

tease them with the over under whatever you back to seven and a half tease them with the over under whatever you want to do and go nuts with it yeah that's a gigantic middle that you just mentioned the seven on both sides and seven you know you're you're safe at seven point loss or win both ways that's yeah i'm trying to think how we would get screwed it would like the eagles win 31 23 well a lot of the end we got this has to end in a lateral right this season's been so effed up i got it's got to end in a lateral i'm gonna start we we love going through all these props and you have a million of them i'm gonna start us off good with a prop i've been thinking about because you just mentioned that lateral so we've seen this i feel like this has

become not quite an epidemic, but more than ever, these situations where the team is losing at the end, they tried the stupid lateral thing and it gets, he'd say they're a fumble or it gets picked off or whatever. And all of a sudden there's this extra touchdown out of all the times this has happened in NFL history. I feel like half of them have been like this season. Yeah.

So I was wondering like, was there a way to bet on this? So if you think Philly is going to win, there's a bet last TD score. And you could say Philly defense for this play that doesn't even have a name. It's like Stanford bizarro band, I guess would be the name or whatever we want to call it. Like the lateral fuck job, whatever you want to nickname it. I think that's what it's called. Yeah.

Lateral fuck job. Whatever you want to nickname it. I think that's what it's called. Yeah. Lateral fuck job. So what do you think the odds would be for the Philly defense to score the last touchdown of the game? So they have field goals, right? They have offense. They have safety. And then Philly defense would be 12 to 1? 38 to 1. Wow.

Wow. Wow. So you can basically bet on the Bizarro Stanford band gambling fuck job play. You could actually have money on this, or it could just be like a pick six touchdown or a fumble touchdown or whatever. I thought 38 to 1 were like great odds. I'm making that my prop of the day, Sal.

You got to do that. That's great. And might as well take the Chiefs side too, because they could be up too, and the same stupid thing could happen with a kickoff with eight seconds left or something. Right. What's that? I like what you're thinking. So you're thinking one or something. What would they be? Yeah. That's going to be a little higher. I'll find. Yeah. Good. You talk and I'll find it. The one last week with the chiefs and bangles, I watched it a bunch of times and this is how the super bowl ends, right? It's already four

and a half hour game. And they'll review this last lateral play that we're making up in our heads for another 40 minutes, so we're not done with football. But that Bengals player was not down. I've watched it a bunch of times, and so many people had the Bengals plus seven-and-a-half on the teaser. That would have been a complete disaster, the last fuck-job fumble, whatever you call it, at the end. Should we come up with a name for that now? That's going to be tough to top. Fuck-job fumble, whatever you call it at the end. Should we come up with a name for that now?

That's going to be top to top. Fuck job fumble? I don't see like Romo saying that on a CBS broadcast. Oh, Jim, it's a fuck job fumble. He should. My God, Jim. Everyone hates him anyway for some unknown reason. He might as well start throwing the F-bombs out there.

It's a known reason. He signed a contract for $18 million a year, and he immediately moved into fuck-that-guy mode. You don't want to be in fuck-that-guy mode. I know, but who the hell's lying about leaks, about interventions? An intervention in the offseason? Come on. It's really stupid.

I like that bet, though. That's a good prop. I'm writing that down. 38-1. I can't find the Chiefs one, but i assume it's got to be 42 to 1 i mean there's i feel like there are more props than ever before yeah and you even find more but i mean just going on i was on fanduel for like four hours today just like oh oh that one i have a whole dock of things that i liked i'm sure and they still have a bunch coming they don't even have the crossboard bar lays yet which they will by the end of the week

but i think when we started this almost 15 years ago, there must have been like 75 Super Bowl props. And we would just talk about them ad nauseum. Now there's, I'm not even making it up. There's like 3,000 unique outcomes. And so, I don't know. I think it's when you became a billionaire. They're like, all right, we might as well expand,

see how much we can get from them. It would be fun to rerun like our first super bowl props pod we ever did which i we i don't even remember us doing it for pat's giants but i do remember us doing it for steelers cardinals because that led to the gary russell prop yeah but i i you're probably right like it was probably these basic like over under yards and there was like a gatorade prop and it was like three pages or two or three pages it wasn't yeah you could print them out we would if we did it in person it wasn't like 75 pages of props now it is right yeah for sure so have you talked to yourself into this game like just in general like being excited about it

okay yeah i know i People ought to get done. And nobody's done with the referee talk and everything. I think it's sad that that dominated the conversation for the week. We should be focusing on Mahomes and his greatness and his heroics by sports standards, at least. Right? For that game. But everybody, everybody just wanted to kill the refs. And probably the worst game we've seen officiated. But I got a hot take. Isaiah, turn officiated. But I got a hot take.

Isaiah, turn the TikTok camera on. I got a hot take here. Refereeing is tough. It's hard. It's either that or all of our favorite sports are playing a huge practical joke on us, right? Because we hate the officiating in every sport, baseball, hockey, basketball. Forget it. You never stop bitching about the refs, anybody.

And I just think it's tough. And I don't think like, I don't think we'll ever get to a point where people on the field will make better than like 70% correct calls because the players are so fast and they're so big and nobody knows who's covering the nose of a football as it hits the ground or doesn't. I think there could be better job of like booth review and communication between the refs and New York or wherever,

but I don't think it's ever. You're just going to be a crying fan for the rest of your life if you think this is getting any better. Replay seems like it's fucked it up too, and the ability to just slow things down. We did not have in the late 70s. What was the famous, the Oilers-Steelers game when the Oilers got absolutely screwed? Was that Mike Renfro?

The Zapruder film? Oh, no. Oh, the replay. Okay. I know what you're saying. Yes, there was a Renfro thing. Yeah. Which was one of the plays credited to eventually starting the instant replay momentum. But we only had three angles of that. Now there's 700. It's amazing if we don't have the angle right

away, like the Devontae Smith play last week. Yeah, there's nothing at all you'll ever be able to do about that Devante Smith play where a team could just rush up to the line of scrimmage and people are still screaming at the refs. Like, how did they get that wrong? He's like, well, you just saw the replay twice and got it wrong. I don't know. I just think it's lazy to get on the refs so much,

but I'm excited for the game. I do think the two best teams, you would think the way people complain about the officiating that we have the Texans and Bears in the Super Bowl, but no, we have the two best teams, you would think the way people complain about the officiating that we have the Texans and Bears in the Super Bowl. But no, we have the two best teams. So play it out. You know, it's a fun way to think about the officiating for the people that get so been out of shape. It fixes some stuff.

But then there's other stuff where like, you know, it'll be like they'll show some. I don't know whether Mahomes released the pass on time, whether it was a fumble or he was throwing it, and they slow it down. And then they're showing the replay, and Mahomes gets clubbed in the head by defensive lineman whoever. Right. And it's like, oh, they missed that. That was a blow to the head. It's like, well, they didn't see it in the moment, so we can't review it. Right.

So we care about reviewing this stuff to get it right. But as we're reviewing it, if we notice other things in the play that are definitely a penalty, it's like, no, that's off limits. So what are we doing? We're reviewing some stuff, not other stuff. I don't get it. Is the goal to get it right or what? Yeah, but so get it right upstairs in the booth and don't have these idiots running

around on the field trying to sort it out. If there really is an eye in the sky, let that guy say what happened, and then we won't have to worry about it as much. Well, what happened when we had that expedited stuff in that round two? All of a sudden, they had this new expedited thing, and then all of a sudden, we didn't have it anymore in football. I don't know. All of a sudden, they were like, oh, they expedited it,

and it was actually not a catch. It's like, when did this roll? I watch football every week. Where did this come from? And that's fair in terms of like not making some teams throw the red flag and forcing others to. Yeah, I'm with you. It's all part of the script. You know that.

When you said something was sad and you mentioned Damoshek, I thought you were going to say it was sad when Damoshek tweeted about the 17th anniversary of the Steelers beating the Seahawks was an actual tweet and tweeted a Willie Parker play. Who celebrated the 17th anniversary of the worst Super Bowl of the 21st century? People sitting around for that? Ever going to talk about penalties? Come on. Oh, my God. That's the most rigged Super Bowl of this century.

There you go. That's so much better. I got your back, Seattle fans. I tweeted today about the 35th anniversary of one of the most seminal moments of our entire lives, Andre the Giant beating Hulk Hogan with help from an evil twin referee. That was still one of the great TV moments of the entire 80s.

That is an anniversary tweet, not the 17th anniversary of Willie Parker's touchdown run in a game where Ben Roethlisberger threw for like 20 yards and they won the game. Look how fast he is. Oh, Willie Parker. The officiating in pro wrestling is the worst. They miss everything. They got their backs turned.

They're not paying attention. Yeah, evil twins, fast counts, slow counts. Come on their backs turned. They're not paying attention. Evil twins. Fast counts. Slow counts. Come on. Start there. The funniest part of that whole... I watched that clip like three times. Andre tries to I guess like suplex Hogan or something

when he's about to pin him. And he just can't get him up. And he just kind of flings him sideways. Hogan has to sell it. But he just kind of flings him sideways. Hogan has to sell it. But yeah, it brought back some great memories. All right, let's talk props. Where do you want to start?

Well, I have some quarterback props. I have some running back props. I kind of went in order there. You want to do something like that? There's a prop I saw on Fandle, actually. Most playoff passing yards. So this is cumulative, obviously. I saw that one. That was a good one.

This is a good. So my homes is minus nine 50, even though he's 200 yards behind burrow, who obviously isn't going to get any more hurts as two 75. He's not going to count. He's not going to catch seven 21. So burrow, I'm looking at it six to one. There's a world where my homes stays under 200 yards,

right? God forbid he gets injured. God forbid for the viewing, you know, and then the way this game as us sitting in and watching a Superbowl, if you basically say Mahomes could get hurt or miss some or all the game and you can collect six to one on borrow. I really liked that. I loved it as well. And I tried to think about scenarios where he doesn't throw for 201 yards, which I think is either he gets injured, re-injures his ankle.

There's another, like, there might be two pass interference plays where it's like another 70 yards or 80 yards, but he doesn't get credit for it because it's PI instead. The Chiefs, maybe they have a lead. Maybe the Eagles have the ball a lot. Maybe the Chiefs only have the ball for 23 minutes. It's not inconceivable.

Especially if they try to take away the passing and they're like, run on us. We're not going to let you pass on us. I thought 6-1, you're basically betting on him hurting the ankle again, which is kind of macabre. I was trying to look at any other odds that you could definitely cash on if Mahomes missed even a quarter. And I think that's the one for sure.

Yeah, so the Mahomes props, I think for the most part for me, are a stay away because I still don't understand if he's hurt, if he's not hurt, was he hurt the last game? All of it is confusing to me. And we know this Philly pass rush is going to be the toughest pass rush he's faced. You're not saying it right. Pass rush. Thank you. Thank you. So I don't, to me, it's mostly a stay away, but I like this bet. Burrow six to one. Joe Burrow's like, wait, I, you guys can bet on me. This is, I thought I was out of the playoffs. Is there going to be a cutaway to him? Does he get to make a speech at the end?

If he has the most passing yards? Well, they had that other one where it's the rushing one that McCaffrey has 238 and Sanders has 132. Yeah. So Sanders is 6-1. He'd need 108 yards. You're betting 109 yards for Miles Sanders at 6-1. It seems a little high.

That's pretty good. So what's his over-under, one. It seems a little high. That's pretty good. Yeah. So what's his over under, I think just, just not nearly that high. No, it's like 50 or 60 or something, right.

It's in there somewhere. They have those rushing props, like any player to rush for a hundred yards plus three 10 is yes. Um, yeah, they don't have some of this stuff yet. You're right. Gainwell went over a hundred.

He had one 12 right against the giants. Was it? So yeah, I think that it's not going to be a chief player that's the only thing they have they have chiefs under 100 yards is pretty good i also like um chiefs no well now i'm passing the quarterbacks but we'll go back chiefs no rushing touchdowns plus 126 it's kind of tough for them to get a rushing touchdown they had none in in either playoff game, but Chaco had one that was called back. Mahomes isn't running one in. They have so many options from the three yard line and they're all like shuffle passes, right? So I kind of like that as a plus money chiefs, no rush. Cause the shuffle pass is a run play for them, but it counts as a pass for the props. Yeah. They're rarely on the one yard line. They're always on like the three or four.

Yeah, and a lot of times they end up either going backwards because Mahomes took a sack or an intentional grounding or something or they don't get it. There was a bet. You can bet on Pacheco's first TD. Did you see this one? It's either rushing is plus 188. Receiving is plus 750, which includes the shuffle pass, which is why I marked that down.

And then no TD is minus 168. But I thought Pacheco's first TD will be a receiving TD plus 750. Those odds seem really high to me. That's good. That's really good. Because that could also be like a 25 yarder or a 30 yarder, right? Which he's prone to do. I think I did. The thing that worries me about Pacheco is I do feel like he's like the sexy guy this year. Right. Where it's like people are like, oh, Pacheco over this, over that. Well, that's something you have to work out with your wife. But yeah, no, I know what you're saying.

Good point. There's another one right around seven to one. It's actually seven to one that Pacheco catches the first Chiefs pass. And he's seven to one. And Kelsey is like plus 240. I think it's definitely one of those two guys. I would say definitely. But, you know, Mahomes wants to get loose.

A little four yard check. Yeah. Either one of those, I think, is good. Seven to one. Pacheco had the first catch, I think, last game or the one before. There's a combined. Fandle doesn't have this yet,

but I've seen it elsewhere. Um, Pacheco combined yards, which I think is a really fun thing to bet on the combined Russian receiving. And the number seems to be around 64 and a half 65. Dave Tully had it on, on Vincent.

Um, the, I looked it up nine of the last 10 games he's hit at least 60 for the rushing receiving combined really when he started playing 10 games ago so I'm keeping an eye on that whenever that gets posted because the good thing about him is he can still affect the game even if he's not running the ball

or if they feel like they can run the ball on the Eagles which is probably something they're going to have to consider. I mean, the Eagles have the, they have the 21st rush defense. He runs hard. Yeah. He runs hard.

He's pissed off. He's always pissed off. Right. So that's the kind of back you want there. Yeah. They'll, they're not going to take him out of the game plan. Even if they're way up or way down,

he'll still be involved. I like that. And his over under was 15 and a half for receiving yards, which seems way too low to me because they run wheel routes with them. They run little screens with him. I just feel like, I think he's going to have, if they win,

I think he has a huge impact on the game. I really like one. It could be one reception. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I was looking at MVP. Well,

I don't think there's a lot of flexibility on the Chiefs side for MVP. I like Mahomes at plus 130. I know it's only supposed to be for one. There's just this one game, but they will marvel at what he did last game and how he kept this team alive if they do win. So I think if you like the Chiefs to win the game, I think 130 is better than the plus 106 you'll get for them on the money line. On the Eagles side, I think it could be a bunch of guys.

Wait, hold on. Can I stop you on the Chiefs? Yeah, go ahead. So we did this last year, right? Cup. Cup MVP. Yeah. Which I ended up betting on. And Cup became the first non-QB MVP in a few years, I think. Mm-hmm.

It would have to be a scenario like that where Kelsey, they win a game that's like relatively close and Kelsey is just doing everything. And that's the only way I think that Mahomes doesn't, if the Chiefs win, Mahomes doesn't win. If he's like 245, maybe throws two picks, but Kelsey has like 11 catches for 120. Right. At TD and three third 11 catches for 120. Right.

At TD and three third down catches on the last drive. We've seen guys win in that scenario. So the Kelsey part worries me a little. I just think they'll give him, I know what you're saying. He had 14 receptions. What? And that first playoff game or something.

I love my homes. You don't have to sell me. And I still defer to my homes. Yeah. I think that's a little bit the other thing, but let's work backwards. What if it is a 1916 game? You don't expect it, but you didn't expect

a low-scoring Rams-Patriots game and whatever. Then maybe, I don't know, maybe it is worth putting money on Redick at 34-1 or Chris Jones at 50-1, like if a defensive player is going to win. Those are the only other two I'd really lean on a little bit. I had, I wrote down Kelsey 12-1 for MVP. I just thought the odds were pretty good because Cup was what last year?

He was probably like plus 280, something like plus 300. He wasn't nearly like that. Yeah, and a 3-4 right in there. The other ones, a non-QB wins MVP is plus 260. I thought that was a good one because then that opens it up for Chris Jones and Hasan Reddick and, you know, one of the receivers or Kelsey, whoever. And then defensive MVP was plus 790.

And this could be a year where, like, somebody on Philly or, like, Chris Jones just goes nuts and has, like, three and a half sacks and a strip sack and whatever. What was the game? Was Bosa the MVP? I remember us texting back and forth. It was like the fourth quarter. It was at least the early fourth quarter.

San Francisco, Kansas City. The game Jimmy G overthrew the guy for the winning touchdown. We thought Bosa was going to win the MVP. That was against the chiefs. Yeah. I've had not one that they probably would have had. Yeah. So yeah,

maybe, maybe it's interesting. What did you have for the Philly side? I just, I just liked us on Redick, but I think it's hurts if they win. I think they, I don't know if you can give it to any of these other guys,

Smith, Brown, Sanders. I go, I got Redick and hurts on that side, but I will say this about Hurts. I like his overrushing attempts. 12 and a half is minus 122.

He's at 13 or more in six games. He's averaged about 10 since his return. He had 11 last week. I think he takes off more against this defense. And if you like the Eagles to win, you might get three free ones in the form of kneel downs at the end. So I think rushing attempts is safer than rushing yards because the kneel downs at the end could kill you.

Talk about that chiefs 49ers game. I think my homes had the over and rushing yards and then lost like 18 on three knee kneel downs and lost it. It was a, it was a miserable, miserable, uh, bed ache for everybody out there. So I like a over 12 and a half rushes for her. It's a little savvy gambling, savvy veteran gambling advice from you. Thank you. I don't even want to say it out loud. Really? Um, cut that out, Isaiah. We're taking a break and we'll come back. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too.

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was looking at when you have a weird line like this is you can jack either the over or the under with the adjusted line way up or way down to get the odds you want, right? Like Philly is minus 12 22 minus one 24 range. And if you think they're going to win, you could jack up the under to 63 and a half.

Yeah. Put it with the Eagles money line. That's even odds. Now I don't have to pay a vague and it's like the odds of this game getting to 64 points, I think is low. Right. Or you can do the same thing if you wanted with the uh with the chiefs you could do like you know over 30 but i think the way with

that way the money line the way it is you can basically just get rid of the vague if you want to get a little creative get rid of it they should get rid of it anyway all these sports books that's the way you thank us for the year, right? Wouldn't this be like a Christmas bonus? I'm looking at heads and tails. They're still charging minus 104. Can we get one break even on the coin toss? Look, it's not one-stop shopping. People are not

just going to bet the coin toss. They're going to go on your site, whoever you are, and they're going to buy. They're going to buy many, many. It should be minus 101. It should be even. It should be like a tiny. It's a coin toss toss it's a freaking coin toss they're making out by the way heads for the last five they had a really good run in the 70s i was looking i think they were just one-sided coins back then but tails as the overall overall lead 29 27 heads four to five i would say heads but get rid of the big please i did some research research. I know you're as proud of me whenever

I do research. The largest lead bet of Cousin Sal favorite over the years, it's 14 and a half this year. So if you go, I went back, I looked at the last 20 Super Bowls to see how many times it went over 14 in the game. How many times do you think in the last 20? I got a little bit of a heads up here because I know it's like seven out of eight or something that it's gone under and only the Chiefs box was there, right? So I'm going to say six went over. The under is 16 and four in the last 20 years.

Crazy. The Super Bowls, Tampa, Kansas City, New England, Atlanta, San Francisco, Baltimore, and Green Bay, Pittsburgh are the only ones that went over. Yeah, and this is weird because people don't understand. When we were growing up, you couldn't find a good Super Bowl, right? And then even when we were in college, like 49-26,

what was that, Chargers, 49ers and stuff? They were all terrible. The entire 90s, the Super Bowl sucked for, I think, every single year, except that Rams-Titans one and one of the Broncos ones was fun. Broncos-Packers? Pats-Packers wasn't bad for three quarters, and then we kicked off to Desmond Howard like fucking morons. Right.

There you go. No, if you want to make a case that the NFL is rigged, which a lot of people are trying to make Sunday and Monday, and obviously it'd be really hard to rig a professional sports league. But if you want to make the case, it's the fact that the Superbowl has gotten incredibly competitive in the 21st century that you could say it's parody, or you could say this doesn't match up with what we watched during the season

when there's blowouts all the time. And then the biggest game of the year just always happens to come down in the fourth quarter. It's pretty interesting. Well, meanwhile, the biggest example of that was your punk-ass team, Patriots 28-3 over the Falcons. That really like – I was like, if you could change one outcome of any Super Bowl,

I'm sorry, Simmons, that's the one I'm changing. Either that or the Seattle one because I was with you, all you hardheaded Boston fans, you famous or unfamous. And that was just, I had so much money on Seattle. Which one would you, which Superbowl would you change if it didn't involve your team? If it didn't involve my team? Yeah. First of all, the Pat Seattle Superbowl, that whole day is in the running for the greatest day of my life. Terrible. This is a great question. Thank you. I should have given you more time. No, I really want to answer this correctly. Ravens Giants? No, I won incredible amounts of money in that game. I love that Super Bowl.

Ravens 49ers, the one we were there, the blackout game. Yeah. I think it's that one, at least for this century. I, I intensely dislike that Ravens team. I never understood the dairy antler thing with Ray Lewis. I think we bet on the Niners. I thought Kaepernick was really fun that year to watch. We were all at the game and we had the blackout and it felt like they were going to come down and win. Remember they was like first down and goal to go from like the game and we had the blackout and it felt like they were going to come down and win. Remember they was like first down and goal to go from like the four and they were going to punch it in. And then they just kind of fucked it up.

They ran weird plays and they lost. I did something. That was Grantland back then. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I did something where I was going to hug the fans of the losing team. And it was a close game, obviously, with a few minutes left.

And Jacoby was producing that. He's like, okay, let's go. I was like, whoa, what the hell do you mean? Let's go. He's like, yeah, with a few minutes left. And Jacoby was producing that. He's like, okay, let's go. I was like, whoa, what the hell do you mean? Let's go. He's like, yeah, you got to miss the rest of the game. I didn't see the rest. I mean, I saw it on replay, but I was like, all right, who am I hugging?

Niners fans, Ravens fans? No, you did that for Jimmy's show. Oh, okay. And we were producing it. We were producing it for Jimmy's show, but you had to hug the fans. Yeah. And we never guessed the part that it would come down to the last second.

Yeah, because Super Bowls aren't supposed to be close. Right. Yeah, that was a good one. I really, the Rams-Titans one, I think it would have been so much more fun if Kevin Dyson had scored. Right. But then that just dies. We would have gone to OT at that point.

We'd never had an OT Super Bowl. And he just almost made it. But I remember being really, really disappointed in that one. So you would get rid of the Seattle Pats one. Oh, yeah. I hated you guys celebrating. And I think I lost the most money in that, too. And they were winning and just the way it ended. But yeah, I think Grossman beating Peyton would have been the funniest result, right?

If you could change that. That's a really good one. You know what's funny? I was looking up these over-under lead things, and I got to that game. The Bears were winning that game late in the second quarter. I totally forgot. Now, years later, it's like,

oh, and then they rolled over Rex Grossman. It's like, nah, that game was close. I was terrified. You could imagine how much money line money i had on the colts and it rained harder and harder and the colts were down i was like oh man this is no good i uh pittsburgh seattle's in the running for me now i'm looking at the whole list i knew you'd like this question yeah this is a good question i'm gonna i'm gonna change my answer i wish the seahawks had won.

I like Seattle fans. Instead, we get Damoshek celebrating Willie Parker's 17th anniversary. It would have been such a better outcome. Fast, Willie. Do it again. Look at him go. So many bad calls there, if you want to get into it. All right, back to the props.

So you like that under for that, the 14 and a half? No, I'm going over. I uh history changes course a little bit interesting okay i know what else you got um how about this total players to throw for a touchdown pass over two and a half is 25 to one it's worth a shot. Billy Philly special. Also, you could see Henny for a minute in there. Can you name the, can you name the every backup QB, every backup QB,

every just, I'm trying to think who are the fake, fake pat or the, the halfback pass or wide receiver pass guys on those teams. They might just do it. Right. Philly special. Yeah.

The Philly special is a institution. It could be like that. You know, any of those guys, Valde philly special is a institution it could be like that you know any of those guys valdez scantling throws it someone like that can you name any of the five who've done it non-quarterbacks in this game no no just in history super bowl oh in the super bowl yeah jesus well the dude the asshole that threw the Eagles one, the Philly special, he's one of them. Burton. That was on Twitter the other day and I watched it. I don't know what our linebacker is doing. He just falls and standing there.

All he has to do is just run forward and plow falls over and it's done. And instead he's just treats him like he's like an Oak tree in the forest. Wasn't in the script. It was originally it was in the script and I think they took it out just to build some heat that was terrible mixin burton randall l mccutcheon newhouse by the way i don't want to sidetrack a little but robert newhouse robert newhouse did it yeah my guy uh mad dog does this uh mad dog russo we both love him he does this trivia contest and if you go five for five, you get tickets to the Super Bowl. And it's ridiculously hard. And he gets so mad.

I don't know if you heard. I found myself in my car listening for like an extra hour. And like a couple of questions will be like an audio clip. And it'll just sound like anybody like, all right, identify the speaker. And it just sounds like any what sounds to be like an 80-year-old man nowadays with like a little bit of a Southern accent. And the clip will be something like, uh,

all coach was saying is if we get a first down, we're in this game, that's it. He's like, all right, name the speaker. And the guy's like, oh shoot.

I don't know. Ken stable. No, it's not Ken Stabler. How can you say it's Ken Stabler? It's Earl moral. It's Earl moral. You're missing the point entirely

I love it I can listen for six days So you think we should hire a mad dog To do a trivia show where it's just impossible Questions and then he berates the callers He's the maddest of all Dogs and he announced this Is the last year they're doing it that's how mad he is

Oh my god No one's getting it right But I like over two and a half touchdown Two and a half players to throw a touchdown is 25 to 1 year they're doing it that's how mad he is oh my god no one's getting it right that's but i like over two and a half touchdown uh two and a half players to throw a touchdown is 25 to one that's a good one yeah like pacheco yeah yeah someone's got a trick there i mean that you're not saving your trick plays right for the preseason where'd you stand on all the miles sanders props because it was first td was plus 850 if he gets the first TD. I thought that was pretty high.

So Eagles love to like ram it in there and they usually, they've taken a lot of leads. Anytime TD for him was plus 115, but then this one, first and last TD of the game,

80 to one. Oh, wow. That's good. So that's a fun one because if you get the first one, then you're like, oh my God, if he gets the last TD of this game, 80 to one odds.. So that's a fun one. Cause if you get the first one, then you're like, oh my God, if he gets the last day of

this game, he did one odds. I just wish you could hedge. There's just no way to hedge after the first one. Right. It's still in this day and age. Like you couldn't, you couldn't set up your own hedge there. I liked Sanders. There's 11 regular season touchdowns.

He had two, obviously last week against San Francisco. I like him at, I think it's like plus 125, 126 for any time touchdown. He's usually around 105. So I think there's down to plus 115. Yeah. I think you take your pick, whether you like Sanders or Hertz to run one in. And I like, I think it'd be fun to do 10 really long shot ones. See if you can get one of them like that 38 to one Phillies defense scores.

The last TD Sanders gets the first and last three, just like do a bunch of those and try to nail one of them. It does sound a little Daniel Kelsen-y, but we also saw our friend Daniel, what did he hit the safety three years in a row or three out of four years? I think it was like three out of five or something. That was, yeah.

Cause he had one Brady through one intentional grounding. That was the safety, right? Yeah one. Brady threw one intentional grounding. That was a safety, right? Yeah. Peyton got stuffed by Seattle. I can't remember if there was another one. But yeah, it was like two games that started with a safety for sure. There was three. Was there three?

There was one even before the intentional grounding. Or maybe, but yeah, they've adjusted those safety odds big time. Totals. Can we talk about sacks? Sure, I think so. I like both of these D lines. And the total sacks for this game, do you know what it is? It's a five and a half, I thought I saw. Five and a half.

Yeah. Even odds. You can go nuts and say there's going to be a lot of sacks. Over eight and a half is plus 610. Wow. And you think about it. So I was looking like the Chiefs would have to hold up their end of the bargain with that. They'd have to get at least three.

The Saints played the Eagles a couple weeks. What was it in December? And they had six sacks in that game against Minshew. Now, granted, it was Minshew, not Jalen Hurts, but the Chiefs D-line and the Saints D-line, some similarities. I like that. So I was thinking like eight and a half,

almost better than six to one odds for just a good D-line game. I don't know. I like that. You're looking good if it's at five and Chad Henney comes in for whatever reason, right? Oh my God. I like plus 610. All right, I wrote that. You're looking good. If it's at five and Chad Henney comes in for whatever reason, right? Oh, my God. I like plus 610.

All right. I wrote that down. See, you've convinced me on two here. Will Chad Henney come in? Can we bet that one? Well, you better throw a touchdown pass. I can collect my 25 to one. Yeah, that's a good one.

That'd be fun. I did have Chiefs to score exactly. You could have fun with the total points, the exact points. I said Chiefs 27 points is 12 to one. You might think that's a little high, but they hit that four times this year. And I know they did because they're over under their over under in games is always 28 or 28 and a half. And they seem to just go under.

So it's a little lower this week, but I like 27 at 12 to one. It seems like I should be lower. 27 points. They do have at least two times a game when it seems like they're going to score a touchdown and then something happens and all of a sudden they don't. That reminds me. There's some kick bets. Missed field goal.

Yes, is plus 122. The most pressure any of these guys of any game they're going to play. And in general, it feels like there's, you know, I guess like if you look at it, what is it?

Like an 80% success rate for field goals, something like that. So maybe those are bad odds. But Miss PAT was plus 300. This was the one I was excited about though. Yep.

I don't remember this. They probably had this and I just have, my wife calls it Bilshamers when. I don't remember this. They probably had this and I just have, my wife calls it Bill's timers when I just can't remember something. Um, total successful field goal distance of the game. 115.5 yards over under. So it's all the field goals added together.

So I guess you would look at that one 15. So let's say it's like a 26 yarder. It's three 34 yarder. That's 60. And then we get like a 48 yarder. So I think you need four field goals for that to hit. It's pretty good. That's pretty good.

But you figure like by your chiefs thing, they'll, they'll kick two. So do the Eagles kick two. And does that get us to the one 15? It's pretty good. They might just need one, right?

Three, three 39 yard field goals is 117, right? But the fun about that is if somebody kicks, it's indoors, it's in Glendale. So somebody kicks like a 55-yarder in the first quarter. Now you need like 100.5 yards and you're good to go the rest of the way. It could be like two and a half field goals.

Someone kicks a 118-yarder to start. Like, you're good. If somebody kicks a field goal from the stands, you win it automatically. I also wrote down. 115.5. I wrote down. Yeah, I remember them doing that with punt yardage.

I never saw it with field goals. That's pretty cool. I wrote down missed extra point at plus 300. There were nine in Super Bowl history. And then Gostkowski missed one in 2017 and 2018. Yeah. Butker missed three this year. Elliott missed one in 2017 and 2018. Yeah. Butker missed three this year. Elliot missed two this year. It could happen. I think three.

I don't trust either of those kickers. Yeah. Like I would think that'd be like plus two 40 or something. 300 is maybe worth jumping on. Yeah. I'm bolding that one. So players that we like, if Philly wins, I'm going to guess that Redick has a sack in the game. That's plus 190.

Oh, that's good. If the Chiefs win, I'm going to guess Chris Jones had a sack in the game. That's plus 240. Yeah, he was about that. Oh, no, he was even last week, and he got it so early on. I was so mad. Plus 240, though. Plus 240 if you like the Chiefs i just find it hard to

believe they would win and it'd be like wow and they won despite chris jones not getting a sack like he'll definitely get a sack if they're winning pretty good then um i really like the tight ends in this game especially dallas goddard And I did some research on this. So the 60 plus receiving yards adjusted prop for him is plus one 60. Get 60 yards plus one 60. You're good. Before he got hurt this year, he had 60 plus yards in eight of 11 games dating back to last year before he got hurt this year in the playoff games,

he was five for 58 and five for 23. But once the San Francisco quarter he got hurt this year in the playoff games. He was five for 58 and five for 23. But once the San Francisco quarterbacks got hurt, they changed what they were doing offensively. And in general, he was such a weapon for them before he got hurt. And I feel like they had everything clinched. He's kind of just sitting there like waiting to be unleashed. And I feel like they haven't fully had to do that yet,

but this would be the game to do it against the chiefs. And I don't know, like he's four and a half catches is the over under for his catches. That's minus one 60, which we don't like to bet negative props, but 60 plus for him. I really like it. Yeah.

I like it too. I, I have an unreasonable hatred for him because this, nothing, he didn't do anything, but everybody, I like it too. I have an unreasonable hatred for him because this. What did he do to you? Nothing. He didn't do anything. But everybody. I mean, I must have gotten it 50 times.

The meme. Hey, congratulations. Dallas is in the Super Bowl. And it's a picture of Dallas Goddard. I was like, okay. So by Wednesday. Why do people do that to you? That's not funny.

Even you wouldn't do that. Even you. No, I wouldn't do that to you. I know it's funny. That's not funny. But no, I like him. I bet both him and Kelsey to have the first catch.

I like Pacheco also, but to make the first reception, I think it's very cat and mouse early on. If you want that five yard out Goddard, I think was plus three 30 for first reception. Like I said, Kelsey was two 40. So yeah,

I think go tight end heavy with some of these. We love the tight ends. Goddard, 60 plus yards with Eagles plus seven and a half for the game is almost two to one plus 192. Oh, wow. Yeah. And then I don't remember this either. I feel like they're getting better at these props

or at least to entice me. You can bet on who's going to get the first TD and the second TD, and they have combos. So if you're like, I think the tight ends are going to get the first two DDs. Well, they have that bet. Goddard for the first TD, Kelsey for the second. 75 to one. Wow. So if you think Philly's going to get the first score, and then Casey has the ball,

you're like, oh my God, if Kelsey gets this, 75 to one odds. And then do it the other way too right like an exacta in a horse race exacta box that thing yeah sanders and kelsey first second td is 60 to 1 i think you have to go into it saying i think philly's gonna score first or i think kc's gonna score first and do it that way well what was your sand what's sanders sanders they have that sanders to score the first two TDs? Because I know you liked first and last, but what about just the first two? Yeah, I don't know.

I did so much good research. No, I like that. I just didn't. But at that point, don't you want to just bet him for two plus TDs? No, I know. You just got to bet a bunch. You got to bet a bunch of these. We have nothing else after this, Simmons.

Yeah, are you getting sad yet? Yeah, I think I am. I think I am. Not liking my Mets as much as I should. I don't know. I'm starting to stare at LeBron when he's going to break his record and minus 300 on Tuesday versus Wednesday or Thursday. Not as exciting.

Sanders, two touchdowns is plus 700. Is that what it is? Yeah, that's not bad. That's not bad. I like when you can get these props up to 60, 75 to one that are realistic. But as we know, at the Super Bowl every year, then it's like, oh, Brandon Stokely has the first touchdown of the game. We're like,

oh, everybody loses. Yeah, exactly. What else do you have? I did have a defensive prop, Darius Slay versus Willie Gay. Most tackles, Slay versus Gay. Willie Gay's a linebacker,

so he has more shots, but he's kind of banged up. We even talk about him having limited action. He had one tackle last playoff game. Slay's had three or more in five of his last six uh the one he didn't was week 18 where they didn't really play everybody against the giants plus 180 for slay over gay there so wow check that out i'll

get that a yay it's like slay over gay gets over gay yay. And also they have these boxes. They've had this, I saw it on Fandle too. They have the boxes. Like we were talking about this for years. I know we did. What do you mean the boxes? Instead of like making the boxes and everybody puts in 20 bucks and then you draw cards to see what your three, three

or Chiefs three, Eagles seven. You could do that now like chief seven eagles oh is 21 not 21 to 1 so it could be 20 to 7 so you can make your own box it's like your own box lunch pretty much exactly that eagles three chief zero is 29 to 1 it's final score that's the only thing you know so you don't have quarter. But if it's 23-20, you win 29-1 odds. So I'll be doing like 50 of those. That'll be fun. Philly five plus sacks is plus 550.

You figure if Mahomes is hobbled. Hobbled Mahomes. I think that Eagles D-line is really, really, really. People have been trying to down it this last week of, oh, look at the quarterbacks they played and blah, blah, blah. I don't know, man. Those guys, they get after it. And I think I'm not a,

one of the reasons I picked the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl is because I thought they would be able to figure out the Tyreek thing because Mahomes is so good. But more importantly, I thought their offensive line was awesome. Not sure it's awesome i thought jacksonville pressured it a lot um i thought cincinnati was getting in there and making people move around i wouldn't call it like an awesome offensive line it's it's fine yeah you can't run for over 100 yards it's not an awesome offensive line but back to your other point when you said people were wondering how,

what quarterbacks they play, have you looked into the Eagles? What kind of people I know Eagles fans are going to hate me for this. Did you see the last 14 quarterbacks Eagles face? Well, that's, but there was like, God,

can I read it? Can I read it? It's it's, it gets grim when you throw in the playoff ones, rush, picket, Mills, Heineke, Ryan Rogers, who scored 33 points,

Tannehill, Danny Dimes, Justin Fields, Prescott, who scored 34 points, Dalton, Danny Dimes, Danny Dimes, Josh Johnson. Whoa. Be very careful out there. Yeah, it's not. Especially like if Mahomes is doing the GOAT thing. He's so much better than any guys we just named. It's insane.

Yeah, that's not great. I was looking at that Jacksonville game that KC played that we both thought Jacksonville easily could have won, right? Yeah, they didn't take advantage. And the Eagles are probably a better version of that Jacksonville team in every way. But they ran for 144 better version of that Jacksonville team in every way but they ran for 144 in that game Jacksonville

they were 21 for 144 or something like that and I was trying to think like could that be some sort of blueprint for what this game looks like a better version of Jacksonville same kind of stuff they were doing in the game and that game ended up being I think 27-20 but does it look something like that of Jacksonville. Same kind of stuff they were doing in the game.

And that game ended up being, I think, 27-20. But does it look something like that? Because by the second half, it felt like Jacksonville was as good as them. That's not a good sign, I don't think, for the Chiefs. Well, it's tough because Mahomes didn't play, what, a quarter and a half, quarter and a half a quarter? And that's where Jacksonville... Right, you had to minimize

Mahomes, but you also, on the flip side, you had two pretty goofy turnovers from Jacksonville. Oh, for sure. You know? So like, think if they don't turn the ball over, but yeah, Mahomes was, was compromised. All right. We're taking the Eagles. We know that. No, I'm leaning Eagles, but I'm not, I'm not there yet. Cause I, the strength of schedule stuff really worries me with them. Well, you would know this. How many times was... I think it's the same analysis here, right?

The Chiefs have the better quarterback, but the Eagles have the better, more balanced team. But how many times did Brady... I think their lines are better, too. Yeah, but how many times did Brady go into that situation and he came out? Maybe it's not as good as I remember, but it's so hard to go against a better quarterback. Yeah. It's time. It's Gary Russell time.

Here we go. Drum roll, please. Let's do it. By the way, so, all right, so this happened. I was given a nondescript player prop, and it was Gary Russell to not score. It was against Arizona and Pittsburgh to not score a touchdown. And not only did he score my podcast on your podcast,

not only did he score a touchdown, but he scored the first touchdown in the second quarter and got three shots at it. If I, if I, they kept ramming it into the line with Gary Russell. It's like, well,

this is just personal at this point. And then we heard that at another Super It's like, well, this is just personal at this point. And then we heard that at another Super Bowl party far, far away, a man laughed, a woman laughed. They got together like, why are you laughing? Like, well, because Cousin Sal, we listen to Simmons. And that couple got married. And we don't know if they have kids, if they, you know. They've never emailed us.

They named their son Gary and their next son Russell. Yeah, exactly. Their sons Gary and and then and then they were off that was um was that 10 years ago no no that was 2009 that was oh yeah 14 years ago 14 years the funniest one ever was hank konoski yeah henry yeah henry henry henry hinoski yeah and i had Fozzie Whitaker, too, was a good one, too. What was the Hynoski one? It was like minus zero and a half catches, and you went under on catches, and they threw him a screen. Under a half a catch.

Yeah. I'm going to win this year. By the way, Gary Russell, I looked. His rookie card's going for 99 cents on eBay if you want it, if you want to snatch that up. That's what they're asking. You could probably make a deal. You ready for this? Isaiah, you have a drum roll?

Well, can I buy the Gary Russell card and put it next to my NFT of Damoshek praising Willie Parker's touchdown from 17 years ago? I think you could do that. All right, I'll do that. That's another Super Bowl they might not, shouldn't have won, right? Yeah. Arizona. Crazy. All right, you ready? Here it is. My Gary Russell annual no-name player prop of the year goes to Jody Fortson, tight end, Kansas City Chiefs, number 88. Third stringer. To score a touchdown at plus 850.

Yes. I know I don't have to explain this to you, Simmons. I know you're aware. He played college football at Valdosta State after transferring from Erie Community College then was signed by the Chiefs, undrafted 2019. He had COVID in December 21, which is about 13 months ago,

which is I think now people with 13 months rest, that's when they're at their best. Two touchdowns, nine receptions this year. I read in two separate articles, unless they were copying each other, that he creates red zone mismatches. Two articles, shirtless pictures on Instagram. If you want to check them out, he's going to snag a third quarter touchdown. Cash my plus 850. There you go. Jordy Fortson, tight end. What's his first name? Jody, I think. Jody, you just called him Jordy. I did?

Jordy? Jordy Fortson and Jordy Fortson. Bet Jody. That guy might play. I like that one. So three tight end lineup. They're on like the one and a half yard line. It seems like they're going to ramp Pacheco in.

Nope. It's a little delayed rollout for our guy, Fortson. Is that 87? No, it's 88. By the way, McColl Hardman. Why isn't the odds higher? Hardman's probably not playing. You know, we saw them throw to weird second string receivers.

You're right. I think they're getting smarter about it. They're going three tight end sets, two tight end sets. Jody Fortson. Let's say 50 seems low. Well, it's going to win. It's going win it's gonna win so they gotta pay it i forgot to give you this one kelsey 25 receiving yards each half was minus 145 that was the only minus one i liked wow interesting it seems like he can't get to 25 each each half right now 50 yards

the second best tight end of all time you can't get 25 basically yeah it's three receptions each half right and there's one other one they they have Fando had or bets which I've never seen where it's like first TD and they give you two choices but you get both of them so it's if you think Philly's gonna to score the first TD, it's going to be a pass. Devontae Smith or Goddard, first TD, 6-1. I like Goddard. I don't think I did. I did my whole Goddard thing. You could say a Philly receiver.

I think it's going to be Brown or Devontae. Well, bet them both. Plus 490, first TD. Wow. Hurts or Goddard is 5-1. Kelsey or Goddard, if you just want either tight end, that's plus four 10. And then Kelsey or Sanders is plus three 30. But I like all of that.

I got to write. I don't write this fast. I'll text them to you. I like that. I like that. But you can do, you can basically do, uh,

you can pick four of them and try to hit one of the four with Goddard attached. But the Brown Devante is fun too. Cause that's like just a 30 yard touchdown to one of those four with Goddard attached. But the Brown Devante is fun too because that's like just a 30-yard touchdown to one of those two guys. What did you say that was? Plus 490. 490.

All right. But I like Devante or Goddard first to these six to one I think is my favorite because you're getting the most value in that. Oh, man. I'm going to bet all this crap. I can't wait. I can't wait to see.

It's like 14 hours on the toilet for me between now and Sunday. It's going to be a beautiful thing. By the way, they have cross sport. I don't know if they've hit Fandle yet, but they have some Jalen Brown points minus a half against the Grizzlies or cross sport when these NBA guys with two hours for the game are just like, yeah, I'm not playing. Well, that just just go away. Yeah, I know. Or Eagles points. Eagles or Jalen Brown? What do you go with? Who are the Celtics playing? Grizzlies.

Oh, a lot of wings to throw at Jalen. I would take the Eagles points. That feels like a 22-point game. Will Bill Simmons be able to watch Super Bowl halftime commercials from his cryogenic chamber on Sunday? Yes, minus 400. You know, I was thinking the Super Bowl halftime commercials from his cryogenic chamber on Sunday. Yes, minus 400. You know, I was thinking the Super Bowl halftime show is longer. It does give me time to zoom down there.

I know. I knew you would think of that. Total field goals versus decapitations on The Last of Us. That could be interesting. Oh, that's a good one. How many decapitations have we had so far? I've had a few. I might have made that up.

I don't know. Andy reads a halftime bowel movement, uh, over 13 and a half pounds. I like that. It's very, very high pressure. They should be,

they should have a Superbowl prop of Andy Reed screwing up some sort of game management thing at the end of the first half. Yeah. It's been a while. It's like, will Andy Reed be awkwardly criticized, but not really by the announcers. Cause they don't want to go too hard in Andy Reed,

but he clearly did something really stupid. You know, like where, like where they get the ball two and a half minutes left, throw it three times. And somehow the other team has the ball back before the two minute warning. He loves it.

See Cincinnati. Yep. I'm making my prop of of the week the philly defense will score the last td at 38 to 1 i'm locking that one down i like on the gambling fuck job bizarro stanford band whatever that we should people should send us suggestions that should have a name that play because how many times have we been in a gambling situation and all of a sudden that ball is getting lateral around? Yeah, never ever. Nobody's ever been like, oh, this worked out for me. I won.

No one's been on the winning side of that. And you know as soon as it's like, oh, the guy's backpedaling. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh. Awful. We've been crying for years about Gambler's Insurance to be, you know, to be basically we don't get caught up in a missed extra point

or some kind of weird lateral. This is it. You're right. Last score, any other touchdown, 38-1. I think this is the insurance we have to take out. Let's do some Parent Corner. Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax. As always feel confident that you found the perfect car with a third day money back guarantee from CarMax. Now you have 30 days to be absolutely sure your car is the right fit, or you can return the car for any reason for a full refund up to 1500 miles.

Get the ultimate peace of mind with the love your car guarantee only from CarMax. See CarMax.com for details. CarMax. Car buying reimagined. Are you getting Archie going to have a car when he goes to college? He has one now. Yeah, we got him. You're going to let him drive it up there, though? Just got him something really cheap.

I was like, I don't care if it's safe or what. Just whatever is the cheapest thing. And yeah, well, it depends where it is. I don't think he will for the first year. What are you doing? What are you doing with that? So he's going to school in a city. No car for her.

Really? Yeah. Uber, Uber and MBTA for her. Well, that's going to cost more than a car. Now it'll be fun. What do you got for parent corner? All right. So my middle child, I don't use the Jack too much in the parent corner.

Jack Romo. I named them after the greatest quarterback of all time, Tony Romo. Thanks for that, Sal. Great job, Sal. Someone's got to be nice to Tony. For God's sakes. He is switching schools next year. And so he went to the orientation for the new school.

And the wrestling coach was there. And so he's taking all like eighth graders who are going into ninth grade next year. And they have a program Monday and Wednesday after school, which is after the regular wrestling practice also. And they roll around for an hour and they teach him moves and everything. And Jack jumped right to it. And I was like, wow, I'm proud of this kid. I wrestled. I love it.

Short of sending your kid to the army. It's terrific. It's best for like, you know, teaching discipline and just, you know, just team sport, but also individualized. And it was really, really great. And so he goes Monday and Wednesday and I was like, listen, you're going to suck at first. Cause you just don't know moves. Right. And you're going to go up against kids who know moves and they're heavier. He's he's light. He's he's, he's tall, but thin he's I'm going to say tall to me. It doesn't mean he's tall, but you know, he's like about 115 pounds. So I was like, you're just, it's not, it's going to be tough. And I roll with him a little bit. And so the other day I pick him up, I'm like, uh, how'd it go? And he's

like, oh, it was good. But coach hit me with a Kendo stick. I said, what? He said, yeah, coach got mad and started hitting some kids with a Kendo stick. I was like, wait a minute, like hard hitting him. He's like, well, he wasn't happy because we weren't listening and we weren't doing it right but then after he hit us we did it right i was like hmm i don't know how i feel about this um he's injecting wwe um you know like no disqualification rules into um high school wrestling amateur wrestling i was like and then i was thinking i was like well did it hurt he's like a little bit it just I was like, and then I was thinking, I was like, well, did it hurt? He's like a little bit. It just, it was just weird. And I said, what did you do better? It's like, yeah, my sprawling is a lot better now. And I said, all right, fine. I guess that works for me. Should I be more upset than that? I was like,

well, who's his coach? Mick Foley. Like I don't understand Terry Funk. His coach is Terry Funk and some, a little bit of the undertaker inley. Like, I don't understand. Terry Funk. His coach is Terry Funk. And some, a little bit of the undertaker in him. Yeah. I mean, he's like some MMA guy, but he's also wrestling and,

and he mixes it all together and he's got a cat. I might start carrying a Kendo stick though, because the shit works. So there you go for now. I'm okay with it. Can we buy Kendo sticks? Can I get that on Amazon? How do I get them?

Listen, if we could, I think Ben Simmons would have had three by now, but, but, but no, I think. Can we buy Kendo sticks? Can I get that on Amazon? How do I get them? Listen, if we could, I think Ben Simmons would have had three by now, but, but, but no, I think you can get a Kendo stick. So there you go.

Pain works. Jack Romo, I Akano now wrestling. Yeah. I'm excited. Amazing. $59 Kendo sticks on Amazon. Um,

for my parent corner. Well, first of all, my dad's coming this week with two of his brothers. Oh, yeah. To visit. And we're all going to watch the Super Bowl. And I just feel like that means it's going to be a good game. I don't know why. I don't know why we would have the power to swing the outcome of a game.

But I just feel like it's going to be good. Under 14 and a half. lead yeah so my son for christmas he got he bought me sneakers vintage nike celtic sneakers that he was all excited about their green celtic sneakers hard to get he he always goes he knows like all these places on Moros, buys me these sneakers and he's super proud of himself. What a great gift. You'll wear them. I'm like, thanks.

So as you know, the weather's not been great, right? It's been rainy. It's been muddy. Like I haven't broken out the sneakers. I never wore them. And a month passes and then Carrie, my wife texts me and says, I have your parent corner for this week. I'm like, what is it? So she calls me, tells me the following story. My son, there's some new place that he found where you can sell vintage sneakers that haven't been worn yet.

And he realized he could get more money for the sneakers that he gave me for Christmas than he paid. He took the sneakers out of my closet in the box and took them back to Melrose and made like 30 bucks more on the sneakers. And when I confronted him on it, I was like, where are the sneakers you got me? I was going to wear them. He's like, oh, I sold them on Melrose. You weren't wearing them. That was it.

He sold my Christmas gift. The Christmas gift he gave me, he sold it and made a $30 profit. And now I have no gift. Now you're shoeless. You're walking around with nothing. I don't know how we're going to top that one for Paracorder. That's pretty damn good. Now let me ask you something.

I don't know if he did it intentionally to be on Paracorner. Remember when our beloved Uncle Frank, after about three years on JKL, he kind of got a little hip to it. And he would be intentionally doing things to see if it could become a segment. And then there ended up having to be a whole chess match with him to still trick him into doing stuff where he wouldn't know. So I don't know if he's like, wanted to be on parent corner, but it was an aggressive move by him. Did he think he was going to get caught? Like if your wife didn't say anything, would he have gotten away with it? She saw he was leaving with the knapsack

and I mean, uh, what are the, and it was, the box was jammed in the back of it. And she's like, what's going on? Why? What is in the thing? And then he like confessed. He wanted to get busted. That's great. Now, a party you have to be, you must be shaking your head.

But also, if he was going to make $130 on him, you would be like, all right, that's my entrepreneurial. That's great. Right. But I mean, the thing is, is not like a the most fiscally responsible kid like we had you know like thai food getting ordered at our house at 10 45 at night like right now he's not i wouldn't exactly call him like a budget guy so i don't really know i think he just got mad at him wear the shoes and decided to get a redo interesting okay well if it's that so do you get another gift or is that it you didn't use your

gift so you got to wait till next year i think i'm out i think i just didn't get a gift this year this is the kid in charge of me much later in my life when i'm either dying or i'm in you know i need a nurse or whatever this will be This will be the person deciding my destiny. Maybe he'll get you a Kendo stick. Everybody's happy. Sit me over the head. All right, that was Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax. CarMax makes shopping for a car easier for everyone.

Tens of thousands of CarMax certified cars to choose from. There is a perfect match for your budget in life. Learn more at CarMax.com. CarMax Car Buying Reimagined. So you're going to Phoenix. Yes. On Tuesday. life learn more at carmax.com carmax car buying reimagine so you're going to phoenix yes on tuesday staff is headed to uh glendale with the omaha productions harry will be there a bunch of us damage shack we're doing it from our radio row willie parker it's gonna be fun fast will i don't

know he's too fast he might just run through radio row we might not even notice he's so fast stupid seven set wish damage check a happy 17 year anniversary for me i will also real what is that a silver anniversary or golden i can't what is 17 i can't remember is uh kendall platinum i think i don't know what it is yeah it's wood uh play our free contest extra point super prop challenge sponsored by heineken 0.0 10 $1,057 to the winner. ExtraPoints.com slash arcade. Oh, yeah. We're not screwed up. Help me with this LeBron thing real quick.

He needs 36 points plus 240 at OKC. Sorry, home against OKC. Or Milwaukee is the next game minus 300. I'm thinking Milwaukee. That's a TNT game minus 300. I think here's my take. If LeBron doesn't break the record on

Tuesday, we spent two more days talking about it, right? Yeah. He's a smart man. He'll take, he'll break it if it's in the course of the game and they need to win the game. They kind of do need to win these games. They do kind of need to win the game. That's the thing. But win these games. They do kind of need to win the game.

That's the thing. But if there's a way for him not to break it and to have like, you know, 29, 12 assists, 10 rebounds, and he can go that direction. Yeah. And then get the two more days of, you know, because people aren't really talking about it yet. And now this Kyrie trade happened.

Kyrie's coming to LA on Wednesday, playing with Luca. And like there's, and then all these other trades. So I feel like he's better off stringing this out and doing it on Thursday. That would be my advice to him. If I was at his inner circle, I'm like, yeah, man,

get like 25. Yeah. It's a home game. It's a TNT game. It's against Kareem's old team, right? Milwaukee. Even if they lose that,

I'm doing that minus 300. I got to pair it with a Super Bowl prop. You could say this is the best four-day stretch of basketball since 2012 when both teams were in the playoffs. You could say it. No, in LA. There's four straight games. It's LeBron trying to break the scoring record against –

both games are good. And then the Clippers are playing Dallas Wednesday and then the Lakers on Friday. So I think it's four straight days of games. You're right. Am I doing that right? No. Three or three or four or whatever.

You know what? We should do an emergency NBA podcast right now. Let's just do it. It's an emergency. It's not an emergency. He asked for a trade every three weeks. I texted you that Kyle wasn't producing today because I think he's at some NASCAR Speedway event,

and you texted me back, Kyle Irving. Kyle Irving. Kyrie's more responsible. Kylie Irving. Kylie Irving. The podcast was produced by our guy Isaiah Blakely, who unfortunately thought he was just going to cruise in and do just you and me. And now he did a two-parter. So sorry to him. And thanks to him.

And Sal, I'll see you on Sunday night. You'll be in some dinky room somewhere in Arizona and we'll talk about Super Bowl, whatever number this is. Whatever is this? 57. 57. There you go. All right. Good job by you, cuz. Good job by you, cuz. Good job by you, buddy. On the wayside On the first summer I never was And I don't have to ever forget