The Bill Simmons Podcast - Playoff Rondo, Tompa Bay, NFL Sleepers, and Guess the Lines Week 1 With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: September 9, 2020

The Ringer's Bill Simmons shares his thoughts on Lakers-Rockets and Celtics-Raptors (2:53) before he is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss Bill’s favorite storylines heading into the NFL season (17:22). Then they kick off their FOURTEENTH season of Guess the Lines and guess the NFL lines for Week 1. Finally, Parent Corner returns (1:05:55). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or visit RG-help.com. Coming up, going to talk a little bit about the hoops tonight and then Cousin Sal for season 14. Season 14. Season 14 of Guess the Lines. That's all coming up first. Our friends from Pearl Jam. All right, taping this part right after Rockets-Lakers game three.

Lakers win by 10. Fascinating game in this respect. The Rockets didn't have House, which I think was a minor problem for them because he's actually kind of stealth good for them. But they're up by one with 10.30 left with the ball, and Westbrook's playing pretty well. Westbrook ends up at this game 63 points,

him and Harden combined. Davis and LeBron at 62 combined. So you figure, well, if we're matching those guys with our top two, our supporting cast could actually beat the Lakers supporting cast. We have a better supporting cast. Not today. So LeBron gets a layup. Lakers go up one. Gordon Bricks an awful three. Rondo hits a three. All of a sudden, Lakers up four. Turnaround Brick from Westbrook. Rondo hits another three. Rondo gets a steal and a layup. All of a sudden, it's 94-85.

And after that, the Lakers had the game under control. That all happens in two minutes. The Lakers go from down one to up nine. Rondo is a big part of it. And when he got hurt right before we had the little bubble season heading into the playoffs, and he's out of there and Bradley's out of there. And I thought it was going to be an important absence for the Lakers

because those guys know how to play basketball. They know where to go and what to do. And when you get to the playoffs, it's so hard to find seven or eight people who know how to do that. The thing with Rondo, maybe not a perfect fit with this Lakers team. No inconsistent three-point shooter, all that stuff. But the playoff rondo joke is a joke for a real reason

because he's somebody who, with a bigger stage and bigger games, over and over again, nationally televised games, playoff games, stuff like that, has come through. And you could see tonight his hoops IQ

and his ability to just kind of kind of see the dance floor in a way that they don't really have anybody else in their roster who can do it. I thought it really helped the Lakers today. And it was the difference in the game, because again, if you're the Rockets and you're going to be able to match the top two guys in the Lakers and you still lose by 10, something weird had to have happened. And in this case, it was Rondo going 21-9, 8-11 shooting.

But, you know, big picture on Rondo, I rooted for the guy for eight years. And he was maddening at times. He went through a whole stage in the second half of his Celtics career where he was really trying to drive up his assist totals, especially in the last two years. And it got to the point when he was driving the basket, teams were playing him to pass because they just knew, you know, he was number chasing a little bit. That was the bad side

of Rondo, you know, temperamental. When he was younger, would clash with older teammates, even though I think KG and Pierce really liked him and respected him. But, you know, he was like the annoying little brother to them. But the dude was, just came through a lot in big games. And I think his crowning achievement was the 2010 Cleveland series when he's the best player in that series. He basically sends LeBron packing those last three games. And if you voted for an MVP of that series, LeBron is a back-to-back MVP. And the Celtics send them packing. It was a lot like this Miami series that just happened with Milwaukee

where Milwaukee had the best player. Miami had a lot like this Miami series that just happened with Milwaukee, where Milwaukee had the best player. Miami had a tougher team, very similar to 2010. But Rondo, at that point, I think I was doing the paperback of my book. I was trying to figure out what four pyramid spots that I had left open of the current guys who would end up making the pyramid. And Rondo was like one of the 12 candidates. He was, at that point, I think he was born in 1988. So coming out of even the 2010 playoffs, he was 22. And I think when you look at how his career played out from that point on,

I think if you play his career, I don't know, 100 times, this is a bottom 10 most disappointing version of it. And there's some different reasons for that, right? He probably peaks in 2010 through 2012 with the Celtics. 2010 was his kind of apex. They almost win the title. And I think they would have if Perkins doesn't get hurt. 2011, he gets hurt in the Miami series

because of a pretty shady play from Dwayne Wade, let's be honest. 2012, they come damn close to making the finals again and bring out the best in LeBron. And even though that team had KG and Pierce and Ray and all those guys, Rondo was the best guy in that team in the playoffs. He was 17, 12, and 7, basically.

47% shooting. He's playing almost 43 minutes a game and was just a beast. And even coming out of that series, you would have said, like, this guy's headed to the Hall of Fame. He ends up, he hurts his knee during the 2013 season, the following season. I remember I was doing countdown the day he went down. And I really don't think his career ever 100% recovered from it. He ends up going to Dallas

within a year. And a trade that was really helpful to the Celtics ends up in Sacramento for a year, ends up in Chicago. Then all of a sudden, playoff rondo kind of started happening again that one year in Chicago. Goes to New Orleans and stumbles into something pretty fun with Davis and Cousins that ends abruptly. And then goes to the Lakers these last two years. But he's a guy that made a lot more sense

with the way basketball was played, I don't know, 10 years ago than he does now. He's a slightly better three-point shooter than he used to be. But the hoops IQ and the way he can just read situations and some of the Rondo shit he does, so unique, so one of a kind, that for me, even though I hate the Lakers with every fiber of my body, it's kind of thrilling to see him become the missing X factor for this Lakers team, because I really thought they were in trouble in this rocket series. We didn't get to talk about

it on Sunday night, but you know, they needed a real vintage LeBron performance in game two. And I think, I think this, the, the, the stage was set for either a potential Rockets upset winner, at least a seven game bloodbath. That's how I felt coming out of game two. I just felt like it's such a weird matchup for the Lakers. They can get 60 points a game from their top two guys and somehow not be running away with these games. Now they're up 2-1. It feels a little better. We'll see what happens with Covington. But the difference today was Rondo.

And if he doesn't play like that, or if he's not back in time, I just don't trust Caruso and Markeith Morris and Kuzma, all these dudes. You really need the role guys. I've said it over and over again with playoff stuff. You need the random Rondo going 8 for 11 game. That's how you win playoff series.

Miami has a whole team of those guys. Jimmy Butler took six shots in game five today against Milwaukee. It didn't matter. Different guys stepped up. And I think the Lakers, if Rondo can get back to at least being a poor man's version of playoff Rondo. Put it nicely. They can get anything out of Kuzma. They can get anything out of Green. Then the next round, they'll be able to play the centers again.

And they might be able to patch this together. I still think the Clippers are the best team. I think the Clippers, Denver, kind of had their shot last night to make it a series. And now I think that's headed down the wrong way, but it's going to be Lakers Clippers. It's going to be the LA versus LA series. Everybody out here has wanted for a long, long time. And it's going to be happening in Orlando.

So go figure. Anyway, I was psyched to see playoff Rondo. And again, like I just think the guy was great and the way his career kind of played out versus how it could have played out, it's a what if to me. I had a section in my book when I was talking about the Hall of Fame, how they should have different sections. And they should have a comment section and a what if section and an injury section, stuff like that. Rondo, to me, is a secret what if guy. Because I do think there's a parallel universe where he doesn't get hurt.

He doesn't end up on a team that wants to rebuild. And just his career doesn't go sideways there for a couple years like it did. So that's one thing. Second thing, Miami knocks off Milwaukee. Russo and I covered all of that on Sunday's pod. So we don't need to go into that. I do think the Miami-Boston matchup, if that's what ends up happening, is an awesome series with a lot of kryptonite guys

that Miami has for Boston. Boston, I was really nervous, as you heard on Sunday's pod. A couple things really helped them in game five. One, they were loose again. They definitely shook off the end of game three. I thought the key moment in game five. One, they were loose again. They definitely shook off the end of game three. I thought the key moment in game five,

it was when Boston was up by a lot, but it was the first half. Jalen took a heat check three that was just abominable. It was like coming out of a fast break. His feet weren't set and he air balled. It went out of bounds. And the camera showed them walking back and Kemba's giving him shit about it camera showed them walking back and Kemba's

giving him shit about it. And Jalen's laughing and Kemba's laughing. And I was like, oh, we're good. We finally shook off game three because they're laughing about a terrible shot. If that happened in game four, he would have had the deer in the headlights. Sometimes you get hit with a haymaker like that and you want to see how a team responds. I was on a lot of Celtics fan threads in the hours leading up to that game. And all of us were kind of like, you know what, this is ultimately a good thing. You're a young team.

You haven't done jack shit yet. You're getting tested now. And we're in that old scenario of the old, the old crafty veteran testing the young upstart that has a little more talent. And you got hit by a haymaker. They're playing harder than you. How are you going to respond?

And the thing is, if you don't respond well, you don't deserve to make the finals anyway. If you get over this hump, then that's actually really valuable. And that's kind of how it played out. Game five was we need to get over the hump. We need to lay the smack down and we need to show that we are a good team. And they did it. They pulled it off. And if you're Toronto, you know, and I mentioned this on Sunday,

they're, they're playing Van Vliet and Lowry like crazy minutes. And I thought it finally backfired on them in game five because those guys, especially in the first half, just had trouble matching the energy. Boston did some cool defensive stuff too that I thought was interesting with the way they were playing the guards and the pick and rolls and stuff. And they basically were not allowing anybody to step out and shoot threes when they were playing really good defense that first half. And they weren't allowing the guards to drive down the middle. They were trying to funnel them to the outside.

And it was a series of adjustments. They made some awesome ones. And then everybody was hitting shots. The only one who didn't really play that well was Tatum. But I think if you're Toronto, you're coming out of that game and you're thinking,

we're probably two players short for this series. Now Ibaka's banged up too, but you know, you did the gimmick trick with the minutes with Van Vliet and Lowry. You really, when you, when you're doing something like that,

it's borderline desperate, but it's smart. You have to do that. That's you have to take a huge swing like that. And I thought, and, and being good, you missed this when he was announcing the game,

being weak, it's his third foul with like 10 minutes left in the second quarter. And any other time that guy comes out, I don't care who the coach, who the player, who the team is, that guy sitting down and nurse kept Van Vliet out because he knew like, I can't take this dude out. We, if I think about the game's over, there's just a level of desperation with what the Raptors are doing because of the team they have that I think if you're the Celtics,

it's a really good sign. Like even when they brought in, I think his name's Matt Thomas, the three-point shooter. You know, that stuff you're doing when you're just throwing shit against the wall. It's not something you really want to be doing in game five of a playoff series.

It'd be the equivalent of like if the Celtics were like, Hey, let's bring in Tremont waters. Hopefully, uh, hopefully, hopefully he can make a couple of shots. Like when you're doing stuff like that, you don't really know what team you have. And I think after the first seven, I don't think nurse really knows who to play. So the advantage has swung back to the Celtics. They could still absolutely blow this because Toronto is just a former champ who is mentally tough as shit, could not respect them anymore. But I think if you're Nurse,

you've kind of used all your tricks at this point. You can play the guards huge minutes again. You can try to get Siakam going a whole bunch of different ways. The Celtics sniffed that one out really well in game five and just tried to take him out, and they did. But other than that, basically, you just want to shoot a ton of threes and hope you can make 18-20 or else you're going home.

But I do think the Celtics have a better team. I don't think that necessarily means they're going to win the series, but you think about it, they basically won four of those five games. All right, let's talk some football. Before we do that, we're going to take a quick break. And then the cuz. Before we get to Sal, remember, during this time of social distancing, connecting with friends over a beer today might look a little different.

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slash BS and find the delivery options near you. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Without further ado, season 14 of Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal. Here we go. All right. This is the first time we've ever done this on a Tuesday, but this is COVID. It's 2020. We wanted to get as close to the first game as possible. Cousin Sal, it's our 14th year of Guess the Lines. Wow. Wow. Yeah. We're past bar mitzvah. We're past puberty. What happens when you're 14? I don't even know. It's, it's kind of a, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got, it is kind of an, it's

going to be kind of an F for me because I've never had to wrangle you. It's usually during NBA preseason. There's still a couple of weeks left, four or five weeks. Now there's playoff games going on. Are you kidding me? I have to get you interested in the NFL season. How the hell am I going to pull this off? I know I was ready for 10,000 NBA hole barbs from you. Well, I just, there just needs to be one, but even now you're looking sideways here. No, I'm not. We're taping this during the Milwaukee, um, Miami game, which we assume Miami will end up winning, but who the hell knows? This is, we went from no gambling at all, which you were like a cheetah in the wilderness, ready to just eat your own pups because there's no food. And then all of a sudden, food everywhere, deer, antelopes, whatever. You're just chowing down. There's something

to gamble on every day now. It's too much. There's tennis, if you want to throw. I've been betting NASCAR. The US Open is great. Yeah, and then, I mean, how are we going to do this? Your NBA needs LeBron to advance. It didn't seem like they're hip to the idea that LeBron has to be around in October for them to compete with the NFL. But he does, right?

We're fine. They'll get to LA, LA, no matter how they need to get to it. You know, the thing that's been really weird about preparing for this podcast, which I usually feel like I have all these takes, but we've had like no preseason at all. Yeah.

There's been weird dudes dropping out on random teams. Like the Vikings got hit pretty hard. The Patriots got hit pretty hard. And then we have the whole COVID, who the fuck knows when somebody's quarterback is going to be out for three weeks or somebody's running back or somebody's best linebacker

or something like that. And trying to think about like these futures and this guy's going to throw for 27 TDs. And all of it kind of feels futile, right? I know you've talked yourself into it, but at the same time, I'm just kind of my head spinning. No. And we always say, oh, I want to watch kind of feels futile, right? I know you've talked yourself into it, but at the same time, I'm just kind of my head spinning.

No. And we always say, oh, I want to watch the first couple of weeks, right? I want to watch, get a feel for these teams. But we know a couple of things like Vegas has the loosest lines in the first couple of weeks. So they ended up now in your week three, week four, they tighten it up and they figure out who's good. And then you have to scramble for a half a point.

That's tough enough. Not knowing, obviously, but no practices and pads and stuff like that. The other thing is home field advantage. What do we, it's normally, what do we give teams? Three points for being at home. In addition to however much better they are than the other team. I don't know if the Saints have a home field advantage over the Bucks this week in the Superdome where they normally win seven games or go six and two. Like do we do with something like that, playing in front of an empty crowd?

I really didn't fully realize how weird that was going to be until I tried to guess the lines, which I mailed to you earlier. We both guessed the lines. I somehow avoided the lines until this week. And it was just like, I don't know what this means that the Chiefs are home. Right. I guess it's good they're sleeping in their own beds. I guess they're kind of used to being in a giant empty stadium. I have no idea how depressing the stadium is going to be. We've just seen in the bubble for basketball, like Toronto-Boston,

the quote-unquote home team lost the first five games. It's meant nothing. I think in basketball, it's a little easier. In football, there are real advantages to being at home, especially Kansas city, Seattle, stuff like that. That's out the window. And conversely, a team like Washington or a team like the LA chargers who had no home field advantage at all, because people are wearing either paper bags over their heads or not going at all. And now they're an empty stadium. It actually might weirdly be an advantage for them too.

So I don't know what to make of it. So I'm super confused by it. But we both agree three points for the better team at a neutral field. That's right. Traditionally what it is. But what do you do

for like the Cowboys who plan on having their stands a third or a quarter filled or even more by the time October rolls around? You know, none of the other NFC East teams

are doing that just because they're in the Eastern region and everything. But I don't know. The Cowboys get five points at home as a result or even more. Well, you know the lines. I still don't know the lines. I'm going to be finding out as to do. We have some storylines, though.

Yes. I ranked my favorite 2020 storylines. I'm going to throw them at you. Okay. Now, we should mention you, you're, you're doing like 17 podcasts and a TV show. I hope this feels fresh for you at all.

I feel like you're, you're like the porn star who's just doing three scenes a day. And I, and I feel like our scene special, but deep down, I know it's kind of not, you're just going to move on. No,

no, no, no, it is. Let's hear your storylines. I'm sure. we should mention your extra points pod, which launched. Oh yeah. Charlotte Wilder. You launched just going to move on to the next scene. No, it is. Let's hear your storylines. I'm sure we should mention your Extra Points pod, which launched with Damoshek, Charlotte

Wilder. You launched this little network. You still have Against All Odds with the trifecta. You have. What else do you have? Anything else new? Little network? Spotify offered millions already for this thing. Six podcasts. It's a starter network. You're going to grow it.

Absolutely. And thank you for your support. Yes, you're right right it's a little sports gambling thing extra points like you said with dave damashek charlotte wilder that is the uh that's a broader um sports show monday wednesday friday against all odds is uh i brought that over to extra points if you have to resubscribe on the blue and purple one right yeah go to spotify resubscribe there we hit the afc nfc props we did like 160 props on that and uh jerry ferrara jen piacente are doing uh a fantasy show called waiver wire twice a week we got tj hushman zada rob parker jeff schwartz they're doing podcasts and rachel bonetta and i are doing a comedy podcast that's almost like a medium-sized podcast network that's like eight podcasts.

We're getting there. We're getting there. There's a lot. This is a lot. You warned me, but you really could never leave your computer if you wanted to, worrying about dumb shit like merchandising and stuff. Yeah. Every hour, something bad could happen.

All right. So I'm going to cheer you up. I'm going to rank my favorite 2020 fun storylines. Okay. Heading into the season. First of all, Tampa Bay. Has to be. Any way it goes is great.

If they're really good and it becomes a Brett Favre of Minnesota Vikings, that first Vikings year scenario where he's like rejuvenated and they're a contender and Evans and Godwin love him and there's a little grunt back, like that'd be really fun if it's like an auto 2012 lakers oh i thought this what what's going on i thought that's going to be great too the only thing it won't be is boring i we win no matter what direction right is there a direction where it's where we lose oh i think i when you say we i think i'm much different than you are i'm'm rooting against. See, now I have to combine. I usually, I just rooted against the one force that was the Patriots. Now I root against Tampa and Bill Belichick. I

know there's no way that's going to work out where both are subpar teams, but what have you decided? You might change your mind three, four or five times during the year. Which way are you on this whole topic? Um, I've settled on them being good because of looking at the stuff from last year where it's like, wow, if maybe if they didn't have a quarterback that turned the ball over 39 times, this might've been different. You're just like, you're just looking at their season, removing 22 turnovers. Now, I do, I have real concerns about putting him in a Bruce Arians offense and flinging the ball. And I just,

I watched him the last couple years. So did Kyle. He doesn't want to get hit anymore. He throws the ball away the first chance when he doesn't see anything he likes, which isn't really that offense. But on the other hand, Godwin and Evans are just so much better than anyone he had the last couple years.

So I feel like that 10-6 seems realistic, and then maybe it swings two games either way. Is that fair? I think that's fair. We should point out that we try to look at the Bucs every single year as our sleeper team, right? So now that's off the table. Every year.

Because everybody loves them this year or whatever. Everyone has an opinion on them at least. So they can't be our sleeper team. I think Tom has a little more trouble than people think. This is an undisciplined Bruce Arians team. They led the league in penalties. Is Tom going to be okay having two false starts in a drive every six drives or something like this is

i don't know it's not the bill belichick way you're stepping in you're gonna see that this mess is dog shit everywhere i i think he's gonna have a little trouble i think gronk you saw him he struggled to score three times in 2018 i'm shorting all of his props uh down and their their defense wasn't good either so tom could could only do so much. I know you've surrounded himself, but I want to know there is a limit. Yes, you said if they go 13 and three or 14 and two, you're going to be pissed, right? You have

to be. I can't be pissed. I realized that wasn't going to be pissed during that skins tournament, the golf tournament. Yeah. Whereas I'm going to root against Brady. Fuck this guy within the fourth hole. I was rooting for him to burn anything or do well. Hold on. Are you allowed to call it the skins tournament

anymore? Skins game? What do we call those now? I don't know if you could say skins. I don't know. All right. My apologies if we're not allowed to say that anymore. Who knows? I was confused by... I only really dove into the futures the last week week I did the document like I

always do and they're over under for wins was only eight and a half but it was a hefty price it was like three to one and in some places you can get it at nine but I thought for sure it was going to be nine and a half so I think Tampa I think Vegas is suspicious as well and then for the division they were plus 160

because everyone loves the Saints what's interesting is conference 10 to 1 Super Bowl 12 to 1 as well. And then for the division, they were plus 160 because everyone loves the Saints. What's interesting is conference 10 to one, Super Bowl 12 to one. Usually Super Bowl is double the conference, but in this case, Super Bowl is way close. And then no playoffs. If you're betting they're not making the playoffs, which is a lot harder this year at the plus 170, that's what it is to bet they're not going to make the playoffs, but there's seven spots this year, which brings me to the second thing. I'm super excited about two extra playoff teams, more gambling for us.

That is true. Two more games that weekend. We're going to, what, what a weekend. That's good. If we can, if we can just make it to that weekend,

which I would say is 50, 50 between the election COVID and God knows what else is 50-50 between the election, COVID, and God knows what else is going to happen these last four months, 2020. If we can make it there, what a glorious weekend. Six games. What's going to be better than that? That's really fun. Nothing.

Nothing in the world. We have to do it. We have to get there. Like you said. Let's get there. Just though, I don't think Tampa's a lock, though. What did you say? Plus 170 against them making it? No, it was minus one.

It was plus 170 against them making it, yeah. So minus 140 for them making it. But here's the other thing with this. We talked about how confusing the lines are. There's an extra playoff team, and how did they factor that into playoff bets? Because the bets, the playoff odds seem pretty much like they look every year, but there's one extra team in each conference.

They factored in, in a team like the Cardinals who would be with like way higher than they are to make the playoffs. But, um, yeah, no, I think, but, but you have, there's a lot of formidable teams. You like the NFC West, right? At least two teams. Obviously again, the division winner, obviously there could be two wildcard teams from there. Probably not from the NFC West, right? At least two teams. Again, the division winner, obviously. There could be two wildcard teams from there. Probably not from the NFC East.

All right. The Eagles or Cowboys. Well, we're going to get to the fucking luck transfer from the Patriots to the Cowboys. Let's do it. Let's do it. And then that North will have a couple of teams, too. So I don't think it's a slam dunk for the Bucs by any means. And they play the Saints the first week as we'll go over. Yeah. I'm going to give you who I have penciled

in as playoff teams in pencil, not pen after we do this third, most fun storyline. I'm really excited about is that the fact that the chiefs are actually going to be more explosive. Like the quiet, the Clyde Edwards, Hilaire thing you had Hardman last year in fantasy. It seemed like he was on the fringe. Everybody's healthy. Nobody's been able to practice. Everyone's talking about how continuity and QBs that can throw.

That first month, they might put up like 45 a game. I like Damian Williams. I thought he was pretty good, but I'm excited to see the rookie and to see that extra wrinkle of like this Maurice Jones drew type running back with homes and hail and Kelsey and all these weapons they have. What's like, what let's say it's like 30, 30 and a half for an over under for every chiefs game. You had to bet it every game,

lock it in right now for points scored. Would you bet that every game? I say you had, you can bet it this week, but you also have to bet it for the other 15 games. Would you bet it? Yeah, I think I would bet it. I mean, they have 20 of 22 starters returning. It's absolutely ridiculous. And also we saw how fast they could score, right? Look at those playoff games against Tennessee against Houston. They'll put up three scores in in a quarter so there's your 21 out of 30 right there and like you said I think that's going to be the key which quarterbacks you know a lot of these quarterbacks getting acquainted with new receivers on zoom or whatever plus three practices it's not going to be enough I like a guy like Teddy Bridgewater but I don't think I think he's screwed in that regard going over to a new team at least for the first month you're not going to have that with Mahomes, right?

He should be right out of the gate. He should be solid in scoring and all the things. It should just be like week 22, right? Starting right there from that fourth quarter against San Francisco. What if I gave you 33 as the over under every game? You had to bet it every game. It's put $1,000 a game on it. 33 over, but it's locked in.

It's almost like when you get a stock locked in at a price. 33 over every Chiefs game for 16 games. Interesting. I'm going to have to confer with my accountant, Tony Reed, but I'll definitely get back to you on that. 33 is probably a good number. I don't know if I go any higher than that. Do they score

34 points nine times? I would say yes. Yeah. Yeah, looking at their schedule, yeah, definitely. See, I think I could drive that number to 35 and you would still take it. I don't know who the hell you're bidding against here, but this is no, I'm more likely to bet something like

when those numbers came out, and I think some books had it, how many Super Bowls will they win during Mahomes contract? Right. So that's 10 years plus two or something, but let's just say over 10 years, but why don't we just bet the chiefs every year to win the Superbowl? It's going to happen in the next three years, right? What were the odds? It was two out of the last 25 have gone back to back. Yeah. So it's the team that loses a Superbowl who traditionally has a tough time getting back

or rebounding, having a good year, but yeah, your Patriots certainly have done a nice job with that trend. But plus 650 for the Chiefs, if you get that every year, you're going to tell me they're not going to be in the conference championship or at least in the game three of the next five years. I think that's the way to do it. I was going to bring this up later, but I'll bring this up now because the next thing I was really excited about was Buffalo's kind of big moment here where you've had this team that the entire 21st century has been a shit show.

And we all like their fans. And we all think it would be, I'm a Patriot fan. They're in my division. It's really hard to like, you know, be anti Buffalo with everything that's happened to them, dating back to the Norwood game and everything else. But it's scary.

And you should be scared if you're a Buffalo fan. Oh, there are three teams in the AFC that everybody has just penciled in Kansas city, Baltimore, Buffalo. You love it. Pencil them in. Those three. Oh yeah, who are your picks?

I listen to the Ringer NFL show with our friends Kevin Clark and Nora and Kalen Jones, Danny Kelly. Buffalo. It's like, who do you have? They all take the same teams. You look at any ESPN's NFL page, it's Buffalo, Baltimore, Kansas City. Sal, we've been doing this a while.

It never works that way. So who is the grenade team out of those three? I think it's Buffalo. It could very well be Buffalo because, well, you have to group this top story with your team, Belichick, and the Patriots, right? This is pretty much the same story. I had them coming next.

Oh, you had them coming next. All right. Well, I just think it's weird to look at the AFC East odds and not see Patriots minus 2000, Patriots minus 1600. How many times have we taken that over the years, parlayed with something crazy? We parlayed it with Hillary Clinton in 2016. As crazy as... I still don't know. Is that pending? How did that go? Why am I laughing? I'm laughing. This is hilarious. We lost that. We lost money in the country's

suck for four years. That was great. I think we lost that. Uh, yeah, I don't, uh, but that's another thing of 2020. Hey, you can't even, the one thing you can count on is look at the AFC East division rankings and the Patriots were a lock at, at, at the lowest minus 600. And now it's even odds, but you're not scared. You like that everyone's jumping on Buffalo. I don't know why they would. I don't think Josh Allen gets increasingly better. It doesn't seem to happen with quarterbacks like that.

The bigger fear for me if I'm Buffalo is it never works this way. So I don't see any scenario that Casey doesn't make the playoffs unless something horrible happens, like a huge COVID outbreak and they miss like five games or something like really remarkable would have to happen for them not to make it, which leaves us with Baltimore and Buffalo.

Right. The Baltimore path is pretty easy. Lamar would have to get hurt. He would. They'd have to go eight and three with him. He gets tackled. His sprains is MCL. He misses five games. RG three comes in. They go one and four in those games. They go nine and seven. And it's like, wow, the Ravens missed the playoffs. I can't believe it. So that's the only way that happens. Buffalo has more ways for it not to

happen. They, they have a shitload of pressure on them. Cause everybody's like, Oh, Buffalo. Oh yeah. Buffalo people. Some people are picking them to make the super bowl. And it's like,

Oh, the next day of C's team. Meanwhile, they've done Jack shit. I know they're talented. Their defense is loaded, but everyone's like, yeah,

but Buffalo, you know, if Josh Allen can dot, dot, dot. And it's like, yeah, the Josh Allen part.

You got to mention that. And then they bring Stefan Dixon, who is unhappy with Kirk Cousins. I'm sure he's going to love Josh Allen. I'm just saying there's, I think they're the strongest case to be the disappointment team. You agree or disagree? I think for sure.

And I think what we just spoke about earlier, being fueled by the home crowd. I don't know. Have you been to a Bills game? You've been to Bills games, right? Have you been to Buffalo? I have not been to a Bills game, but I've always been envious of what it would be like to go to a Bills game. Phenomenal. I went to school upstate New York, so I got to

take in a couple Bills home game. And it's even crazier now. They don't get to witness the Bills mafia jumping through tables, which I assume will just translate. They'll just do that in their living rooms now, right? Since there's no tailgating. But yeah, there is some kind of magic in the air. It hasn't, you know, in the past, translated in playoff, too many playoff appearances, even though they made it last year. But I think that's one of the teams

that gets screwed over by the home field. No fans in the stands. Quick break, then we're going to keep going with the fun storylines. Hey, Jaguars won the race to innovate with the 2020 all-electric i-pace that is just as electrifying to drive as it is to watch jaguar has taken learnings from the tracks of the formula e electric racing series and translated them into its first all-electric suv the i-pace possesses

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Here's one I love. And this ties into our AFC conversation of who's going to be the disappointing team. Because each conference always has one. Everybody, big jerk off circle about this team's a contender. Wow. who's going to be the disappointing team because each conference always has one, everybody, big jerk off circle about this team's a contender and, or we just trust somebody and then it doesn't happen. I have good news and bad news. A lot of people love your Cowboys and they should,

but they are my runner up candidate for this spot. The winner is San Francisco is the winner. Really? People are penciling in San Francisco. It's like their wide receivers are banged up. Super Bowl hangover. They're in a really good division. They have, you know, the worst team is Arizona,

and we all think they're going to be at least frisky. I really like this Rams team, which we're going to get to in a second, and Seattle, Seattle. So I think I would put it like 90% chance. San Francisco's the letdown team. Wow. 10% chance. It's, it's your Cowboys, but I can't figure out who would take their, their NFC spot. I called house today because Craig Horlback and Danny Kelly, I was on a text chain with

them from the, from the fantasy show. Both of them were like, Hey, watch out for Washington. Two generational defensive players. Horvath has this whole case for it. Like new, better coaching staff, easy schedule, bad division.

So I called house. I'm like, is there any possibility of the go 10 and six? He's like, no way. Seven wins. So I don't know who challenges you in that division. It has to be San Francisco.

I'm not counting Minnesota. Cause I just assume they're going to be disappointing. Yeah. Well, you said it again. I don't know Minnesota because I just assume they're going to be disappointing. Yeah. Well, you said it again. I don't know if Kyle wants to bleep that. Did I say it again? You did say it again. It's going to be hard.

It's going to be hard. I'm 50. We've been saying Washington's last name. I even stopped saying it on Grantland, and sometimes I still slip. We're going to try. We're going to try. We said San Diego Chargers all year last year, right? Probably 700 times. I'm going to try. We're going to try. We said that Sunday, we said San Diego chargers all year last year,

right? With probably 700 times. I'm going to have a lot of mistakes. This is anyway. I'm with you. Here's the thing about the 49ers. They didn't lose any coordinators. A lot of times it's a super bowl team,

whether they win or lose all their assistant coaches go elsewhere. They either, uh, their head coach of a college or the head coach of some pro team. You didn't really get any of that with the 49ers. You also have a running game, a weird running scheme, and maybe because there's tape on it with Shanahan, but they did that whole pre-snap motion thing

over 80% of the time. Now, either that's going to work or it's not. You know, you got Jarrett McKinnon back. You have Mostert. You got a nice little rotation there of running back. So you have Garoppolo doesn't have to be, have the gigantic improvements from 2019 to 2020. That said that division, there is no sleeping on any teams in that division. A lot of people's darling pick is the Arizona Cardinals. And I like them as well. I would be surprised if any team goes worse than seven and nine in that

division. I think it's all eight and eights and up. And that's why San Francisco is going to be okay. I think that the losing to Forrest Buckner could be big, but honestly, that offense just rolls the way the coaching staff needs it to. And I don't see, I don't see any answer for it right now. Banged up receivers starting anyway. Their over-under was 10 and a half.

And they were minus 300 to make the playoffs. I just think that's a team. I don't think it can be your team. Even though your team has a lot of the signs, there's a lot. You picked them. I saw one of your bets on instagram you had like dallas to win the most games of the league was that one of your bets on your show

you know what i went through every single game and i picked uh you know who's gonna win what game and i'm like i have my dumb team at 13 and 3 and then at 11 to 1 to that for that to be the best record i know you're shaking your head i know i'm really really, really setting myself up. It's just sad. It's just, it's more sad than, than I'm not. I'm more disappointed. We're going to have fans Simmons. We're going to have fans. We're going to have an explosive offense. We might get coughing fans. Give me those chiefs numbers that you gave. I'll, I'll set them up for the Cowboys. 33 points, 31 and a half points. I think we're right there. This is, you know, Dak is playing for a big contract. 31 million isn't enough.

C.D. Lamb, Cooper, you got Zeke Elliott, who already had COVID, if you believe in herd immunity. I mean, this is going to be an insane offense. I think herd immunity is enough. Of course it's a consideration. That's great. What happens when the Rams beat them in week one and the Cowboys are on one

and everybody flips the fuck out? Because you could almost lock that in right now. And then Philadelphia beats Washington and then the Giants beat Pittsburgh. Oh my God. Oh, Dak, we should have signed him. Yeah. All right.

A couple more quick ones. Yeah. Just another year of Lamar. Yeah. I hope he stays healthy. The history of quarterbacks who are on their feet that much does not bode well for him and Josh Allen on playoff teams like it's

at some point you're going to have bad luck but it's nice to have him back and I still appreciate what he did for me in fantasy which we're going to talk about in a second I appreciate him so much so that I bet you can get him for MVP at six between six and eight to one why not he's

the incumbent first of all you talk about injuries if mahomes goes down again for a couple games mahomes give him the two and a half games he missed last year his stats would not have compared i give him give him seven touchdowns give him another 700 yards whatever would not have stacked up to blomar jackson who had unanimous vote for MVP last year. Only Tom Brady had done that before. So he's got the voters on his side for sure. Why not take a flyer on the incumbent at seven to one odds for MVP? Couple more. Which old star QB is going to be washed up? because it's going to be one of them. Your choices are Tampa Bay, Ben Roethlisberger,

Phil Rivers. I don't know if he qualifies because he looked washed up last year, but maybe he'll have a resurgence. Aaron Rodgers, Matt Stafford, coming off back surgery, or Drew Brees.

One of those guys is going to go off a cliff and I have no idea which one. Who would you pick at gunpoint? Well, I think New Orleans is counting on it coming off back surgery, or Drew Brees. One of those guys is going to go off a cliff, and I have no idea which one. Who would you pick at gunpoint? Well, I think New Orleans is counting on it being Drew Brees, right? They bring Jameis in. They're praying for it. He's not even the backup Jameis.

It's Taysom Hill as the backup. Brees really can't arrow it out down the field, as numbers will show. You know, like yards per attempt are lower and lower every year while that completion percentage goes up. field, as numbers will show, you know, like yards per attempt are lower and lower every year while that percentage completion percentage goes up. And it's funny you say this because everyone's talking about that's the, that's the narrative now of new Orleans and Tampa. Like we got to imagine these old quarterbacks going at it. And they're just like, yeah, it makes sense. We're

going to, we're going to be voting for, um, between two 77 year old presidential candidates. We can watch football. These guys still have it in them. It's going to be fun to watch. And by the way, I'm glad, Tompa, enough of the Josh McCowns and the Cade McNowns and the Geno Smiths. Finally, he's going to go up against good quarterbacks.

That's going to be fun. That felt like a dig. Well, if one of them falls off, though, I think it's Breeze. Who do you take there? You don't even think about it. This is your game. No, I know I have all the choices are great. I could see a real shitty Rogers season. Really? I think he's angry. I think breeze is the best pick, but there's a lot of tea leaves toward the Rogers. Like a lot of the stats from the last couple of years,

where if you do the thing where you put all the numbers, then you put somebody else's numbers. Yeah, right. One guy is him and the other guy is like Gardner Minshew. And you're like, oh no. Player X, player Y. Two more things really quick. Betting against Jacksonville, which we've already done.

Love it. You mean house bet on them to be the worst NFL team. I think, all right. So why is this different than the Dolphins last year, which seemed like the lock of the worst NFL team. I think. All right. So why is this different than the dolphins last year, which seemed like the lock of the century they're tanking for Tua. Well, they gotten Brian Flores who, as it turns out, they struck oil with their coach. Like that's one of the best young coaching hires. He's not even that young, but, um, best new coach hires anybody's had in the last five, six years. And within four months, he creates this whole culture. They had some luck too. Like they, you know, they caught a Pittsburgh team with,

you know, with their four, what was that guy's name? Duck Hodges. Duck Rudolph. Whatever the fuck that guy's name was. They caught the Pats right as the Pats were dying at the end of the season. So I, but still they squander that bet with the Jaguars. I don't see a path for them to squander this bet. I think they are hands down the worst team in the league. And I don't even know. I washed him was, was mentioned as a candidate Carolina jets, the giants. I don't think it's close. So I don't think it is either. And, you know, we're looking all over for stuff. Doug Marone, first coach to get fired. Jaguars to come in.

It's been absolute fire sale. And I like that. I like that owner too, but they're, they just got rid of all their players. That's what are you going to do? Jay Gruden as an offensive coordinator. I don't think that's going to pick things up. Leonard from that now is like just laughing at him. I finally have a quarterback, but it's, it's, it's very strange.

What's going to happen. So what are they with plus two 10 to have the worst record? And I would have taken an even money. Yeah. Yeah. Because I look at their schedule. Like I had to give them a win somewhere. And I think I gave him a win, like home against Detroit.

Like, why am I doing that? Detroit's better than Jacksonville. Well, their division is all three of those teams could make the playoffs. I think I gave him a win like home against Detroit. Why am I doing that? Detroit's better than Jacksonville. Well, their division is all three of those teams could make the playoffs. It's not like they're in the AFC East and they have no hope. And they, I mean, the list of all the draft picks they squandered is almost, almost unprecedented. Yeah. They had like seven top 10 picks. They're all gone.

And Dante Fowler's all the war. Yeah. They're all, they're all gone. And the Dante Fowler's all the war. Yeah. They're all, they're all gone and they have five loaded up for next year. But how about Owen 16 at 20 to one jump on that with me? That's on Fandle. That's a fun one. With our luck. It would be,

Oh, they'd be own 14. And then there would be some sort of COVID mini outbreak. And they, they'd have to like forfeit two games. They own 14. Let's do it just for, just so, just so we can make history. outbreak and they have to like forfeit two games and they own 14 COVID. Let's do it just for, just so, just so we can make history.

First of all, a COVID outbreak in Jacksonville is so, are you kidding me? What kind of, what are the odds on that? That's like minus 500. One more thing with Jacksonville in the last decade, they've covered 40% of the time. That's astoundingly low. It might not seem well, that is, that's crazy. And you got to consider what was it? 2017. They probably were like 13 and three against the spread that year. So you throw that year out, you're now at like 37, 38%. That's an amazing, amazing short team. Well, the second to last thing I'm excited about is who's my 2020 sleeper?

Player or team? Oh, team team. I know who you have because you've had the same team every year. I can't stand it. Let's we can either run your 2020 take on why they're the sleeper or run. We go into the archives and run from 2019 to 2018. It's up to you. You want to just do the new one? Let's just do the new one. The Denver Broncos. That's who you're talking about? Look, Elway doesn't screw around. He's got to get that quarterback thing going.

He likes Drew Locke, who had a nice end of the season. They have some fun receivers. And you talk about home field advantage. That thin air, Bill, is going to be one you talk about home field advantage. That thin air bill is going to be one of the few field advantages. I know, I know you love it. Now, what am I going to say? Like the chiefs are going to win 12 or 13 games. So what does that mean for the second place team in the AFC? I think they win nine games and make the playoffs. That's as big a surprise as I have. I don't have like a 49ers team who went like, well, they go four and 12, but then won the division.

I don't have anyone like that jumping out, but I have teams like Atlanta, Denver, Arizona to make the playoffs after not having great years. Who do you like? Well, Denver over under seven and a half. Seems a whiff low. It's a whiff. Not for me.

I think I'm keeping an eye. Division 91, that's not happening. Playoffs plus 165 Not for me. I think I'm keeping an eye. Division 91. That's not happening. Playoffs plus 165 to make it. Beautiful. I'm all over it. Which I actually wish that was a little higher, but I have them in the playoffs as well. Oh, you do?

I have them as my seventh seed. Oh, you're laughing at me, but yeah. No, I think it's the right instinct because you figure Chubb comes back, Von Willer. Yeah. They got that combo again. How about this?

Melvin Gordon. Everyone's like, yeah, don't ever draft him. If he's around in the seventh round and the snake don't take him, it's like, what? What are we doing here? This could be a good offense. I was on a text thread with somebody today. I think if Locke's a C+, they

could win nine games. If he's lower than a C+, we're in trouble. But I'm with you on that bet. My sleeper, I have Denver in the AFC. And just to maybe sneak in, I have the Lions winning the NFC North. I know it's ridiculous. I know also a couple people have thrown them out.

They weren't that bad last year until Stafford got hurt. Yeah. There was that screw job in Green Bay at the Monday night game, and then he got hurt, and they were like 2-1-1 or something, and then it all went south. And I think their backups ended up with six touchdown passes and 10 interceptions the rest of the year. They made their defense better, although it's still not going to be awesome.

More importantly, that division, I just think, is wide open. Like Chicago. First of all, thanks to Chicago for not signing Cam Newton. Really appreciate it. Second, thanks to Chicago again for naming Trubisky the starter. Wonderful. Magnificent. Great job.

And then Green Bay, I don't feel like they got any better. And then Minnesota is 100% worse. So that's the thing with that division, right? You have to pick between Chicago and Detroit as your sleeper if you're looking at something like that. And you laugh, but I'm one of the last Trubisky truthers. What do we end up calling that? Don't do it.

Well, here's the thing. It makes sense end up calling that? Don't do it. Well, here's the thing. It makes sense to start him, to name him the starter. Just put him on a short leash. You can't do that with Nick Foles, or you probably shouldn't do that with Nick Foles. By the way, Nick Foles, I just read this. Statistically have not even played a game,

is the fourth best Chicago Bears quarterback of all time. Hasn't even played a game in franchise. His numbers are at a... No, that's my point, though. The Bears... I believe that for a second. The Bears never have a good quarterback. They've won Super Bowls with a quarterback who never threw for 300 yards in Jim McMahon.

The funny thing is, had they signed Cam, and Cam was... All the stuff that's happened with New England with him was happening with Chicago. The Bears would be like... Bears fans would be like, we're going to the Super Bowl. Sure.

This is it. We have our savior. So anyway, I think nine and seven might win that division. And why can't it be the Lions? And Stafford, a little comeback year. We talked about him

for comeback player of the year too, which I think was, I have that here. It's eight to one or is it right around there? Less? Yes. Six to one.

Six to one. Comeback player of the year is great this year. Newton's 450, Big Ben's five to one, and Stafford's six to one. Six to one. Comeback player of the year is great this year. Newton's 450, Big Ben's five to one, and Stafford's six to one. If Newton puts up good numbers, he's so far removed. He's so much further removed from a good season than Roethlisberger is. Then Cam has to kind of win it, right? Right.

Yeah. 100%. That's a close one. Well, and then, out of all the passing yards and stuff like that, the only one that seemed off to me was Joe Burrow. They had him for 21.5 touchdowns.

You love this. Which I think you and House and I have discussed betting, but I don't know if we've officially betted yet. But I just, I love their receivers. And Mixon, I would say, I love their receivers and mixing,

I would say, his top six or seven running back and their defense sucks. All they're going to be doing is either playing from behind or throwing the ball because their defense just fucked up another drive. Like,

I would be shocked if he didn't throw 25 touchdowns if he doesn't get hurt. Really? Wow. I mean, out of the four rookie starters last year, I think only Daniel Jones had over like 22.

And you're talking about, I know their defense is bad and maybe they'll get more possessions that way, but that offensive line, you could flip-flop it with Cleveland. Those were the two worst in the league last year. Well, first of all, he's 25 years old? Yeah. I mean, he's fucking old. It's not like

he's like a babe in the woods. The guy was like, lights out. Second of all, he has no blood in his body. There's nobody cooler on the planet than him. Wow. And I like his weapons. I think, I believe in Joe Burrow. I'm in the front seat of the Cincinnati's

going to be better than people think bandwagon. All right. Well, maybe he will. Like, I don't know about the team, but if you want to take his futures, that's fine. But they allow like 404 yards a game over the last two years that i'm not sold on that defense at all trey wayne's out for the year schedule yeah um last last but not least our new england patriots right here buddy um is that what that says that's such an ironic cool shirt it's so faded I can't even see the logo.

Well, I've had it for a long time. That's why it's faded. All right. The worst skill position, guys, we've had since 2006. Here we go. But a rejuvenated Cam Newton. It's been a love fest with him and Belichick. It's just going great.

They just love each other. I know Kyle has a Google alert every time Bill Belichick compliments Cam Newton. And that Google alert's been going off a lot lately. Named captain. Feeling great physically. It's got Josh McDaniels. It's like this new shiny toy. And most important, the fuck you edge

of America not believing in Bill Belichick. Which every time this has happened over the last 20 years, it's been unbelievable for a gambling purpose. Now we have a whole season of people not believing in the Patriots and Bill Belichick. Please don't believe in us. Nobody loves it more than Bill Belichick. Oh, we don't have any linebackers?

Yeah, our skill position guys suck. Guess what? We're still going 11-5. I like this talk. I do. But then if they lose, if they're 1-3, you're going to be like, oh, five. I like this talk. I do. But then if they lose, if they're one in three, you're going to be like,

Oh, whatever. I had my years. It's fine. Like you gotta, you have to own it. You won't be like that. It won't.

No, we're going to be good. We're made. We're going to win the FCS. Wow. All right. Wow. This is Belichick.

Belichick's been waiting. I don't know how many years for this. At least 10. You think so? At least 10. You think so? At least 10. I think he's been dying for this day. Yeah. What day?

He thought Cam Newton was going to be available? No. How did he know what it was going to be about? I think, first of all, they knew this day was coming. And second of all, had no idea, none, that they would be able to replace the best quarterback of all time with somebody who has a chance to be a really, really good quarterback right now.

They have no drop off. Anytime anyone's ever lost a quarterback, they've never replaced them with cam fucking Newton. Well, who's healthy by all accounts. This is like a real thing. So Kyle, who's more delusional?

Well, you're, you're biased too. Oh, Kyle, Kyle's all in. Kyle's all in. Kyle's all in. Are you kidding?

We're going to take a break and then we got to do Guess the Lines. This episode is brought to you by Prime Video. You know me, I can't go a day without sports. I really can't. And now Monday nights are all about hockey. That's right. There's a new exclusive home for streaming Monday night NHL hockey. And now Monday nights are all about hockey. That's right. There's a new exclusive home for

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November. Sign up now. Just search Movember. All right. We just hosed me down after the Patriots thing. Sal, I love, Belichick's cost you so much money over the last 20 years, and it sounds like he's coming for your wallet again. This is going to be an unbearable year between how high I am on the Cowboys and how high you are now on the Patriots. I'm not high on the Patriots for any other reason than nobody believes in the Patriots, which is exactly where we started with the Bill Belichick. But at some point, you have to win games. You have all the missing pieces you have on defense.

Are you worried about the defense at all? You played nine non-playoff teams to start the year, and it showed. You gave up a lot, like nine points a game. That was great. But then you started playing real teams, and that's what happened. I don't know. I feel like the game caught up with them a little towards the end.

We have an incredible secondary and everything is going to be fueled by that secondary and we have $34 million in cap space, which I fully expect them to do something with in the first six weeks if the team is good. So there you go.

I'm excited for this. Before we do Guess the Lines, I got voted out of our fantasy league that I was trying to get out of anyway. I know you're behind it. I'm behind it. I know you're behind it. I was trying to get out of the league so we could start a keeper league.

Right. Which I'm starting anyway. And then you guilt trip me. No can't leave blah blah blah i'm like fine and then i get voted out well as usual you're the you're just laughing you think it's all hysterical no i think it's sad i really do i'm i think it's sad that it took 40 minutes to uh bring this up too this should have been number one storyline ahead of tampa and everything all this other bullshit it's it's it's in the proper point of the podcast. Our friend Dave Damoshek had to kick somebody out.

Oh, stop it. And he decided to kick you out. Yes, you had been squawking about how you didn't want to do the league anyway, and you were going to start a keeper league, but he did it in such a fantastic way. He got Fred Lynn, your boyhood idol, on a cameo. That was great. I love seeing Fred Lynn.

To lower the hammer. Fred Lynn, best 65 bucks Dave ever spent. And now you're out of the league. But just for a year, you're supposed to be out of the league. But then you send an email like, I'm quitting. This is my farewell. Like, what is that nonsense? I was looking for an excuse to leave for years.

I'm not going to be in three leagues next year. I'm out. I want to play fantasy. I hate this rule. This rule's your fault. I've hated it for 10 years. We talk about it every year. It's a shitty rule. Listen, you loved it. No, I never loved it. For 12 years, we'd see

our friend Brad get kicked out or Jon Hamm, and you loved it. No, I didn't like when John Hamm got kicked out. Oh, come on. You loved it. And that was it. We missed out on the nine drinks he would have had at the draft. The idea is though, you sit out a year and then you come back.

Don't make like a puss bag statement. Like, I'm done for good. Like, no, you're coming back next year. And that's that. Just lick your wounds. Look, I get it. It's embarrassing. It's insulting.

I wasn't embarrassed. I wasn't embarrassed at all. I didn't want to be in the league again. You're embarrassed. I jumped in my car when I was kicked out. I drove 85 miles an hour home and joined years ago, like this high money league as if to say, ah, that'll stick it to these guys when who the hell cares really. But no, you're coming back next year. This is nonsense. I wasn't embarrassed. Here's what I did learn though. Because I did feel like our league was a little like Survivor or The Challenge where you have

your alliance. You and Sal and Damoshek are the three people I never would have voted out. So now Damoshek's just dead to me. He's out of my alliance. Why is that? Damoshek voted me out too. This is just circumstance. Well, he should have been

out for you. I don't know why. Why are any of us friends with him? Why should you go? He's a dear friend. And why should you go 12 years without getting kicked out? That's insane. Hench hasn't been kicked out either. That's really not. That is a better streak than Belichick winning the division 10 straight years.

Belichick made a shady trade two years ago. He's still in the league. And by the way, this is how good should I feel? So you start this cockamamie keeper league, right? And I get a terse text from you. It's like, hey, we got one more spot open. Are you in or out? It's like, oh, so I'm your 12th best friend? I didn't know you wanted to be in three leagues.

You asked Henge, didn't you? Did I keep a spot for you? I don't know. I have a feeling someone... Hench was upset I got kicked out of the league. I think Mallory or somebody quit and you needed to fill that 12th spot. No, that is not what happened.

It's absolutely 100% not what happened. Listen, the point is... You filled no spot. You can't be such a sissy. You got to come back to our league next year with Ham and Hench and everybody else. You're coming back. Stop it.

Stop this behavior. This league was dead two weeks ago. The commissioner sent a whole, our friend Jamie sent this whole weepy email about we've had too much dysfunction and he doesn't think the league should continue. And now somehow you're continuing it. The dysfunction is great. Fred

Lynn only kicked you out for one year. And by the way, you said I was behind it. I half, I was, if you watch me, you watch that tape. I was half expecting for Dwight Gooden to interrupt Fred Lynn's cameo and kick me out. That's how I thought that's how subversive this all was. But anyway, you'll be back next year. It would have been funnier. It would have been funnier for him to send all of us cameos from our childhood heroes and each one thinking that we were done, but then... To have them all set up. But we'll see.

You'll be back next year. No, there's no good luck. You'll be back next year. Good luck to Damoshek. He's out of my alliance. Oh, stop. Listen, you've said this before. You've called us losers and suckers before and still showed up at the draft.

So I believe this is going to happen next year. Dave, dead to me. Damn a shake. Come on. He's like the guy in survivor who the beans were missing every night and he's claiming he didn't do it. And then when you're watching the show at home, it's like,

Oh, he was the one eating the fucking beans. That asshole. He told you he did it. He's not hiding behind anything. And by the way, his Steelers have lost you year after year after year. Well, that's why he did it.

It was spiteful. Isn't this nice? Yeah, let him just have this. It's not my fault Tom Brady beat his team for 17 straight years. Well. Anything else we have to cover

before Guess the Lines? I don't know. Just that you're going to be back next year and that's all a farce. Yeah, we can move on from there. I love that I was 12th. I was your 12th option.

You weren't my 12th. You said there's one opening left. You got 11 guesses. Well, there were more than one opening left. I was just trying to be a dick. Okay. Only you were allowed to be a dick. You got upset.

See, my feelings were hurt. I hurt your feelings. No, no. I was like, if I don't say yes, he's going to be pissed at me. He's going to write me off. He's going to say I'm the bean stealer here or whatever. The important thing was that Damoshek wasn't invited to be in the league. So you'll invite him.

Someone will drop off by next week. Let's take one more break. Then we're going to do guest lines. Life and death were two very realistic coexisting possibilities in my life. I didn't even think I'd make it to like my 16th birthday, to be honest. I grew up being scared of who I was. Any one of us at any time can be affected by mental health and addictions. Just taking that first step makes a big difference.

It's the hardest step. But CAMH was there from the beginning. Everyone deserves better mental health care. To hear more stories of recovery, visit CAMH.ca. Take back your free time with PC Express Online Grocery Delivery and Pickup. Score in-store promos, PC Optimum points, and more free time. And still get groceries. Shop now at PCExpress.ca.

Wow. This is really happening. Here we go. Thursday night. Chiefs Texans. I can't remember what happened the last time these guys played. Well, last time they played a hundred years ago,

the Texans allowed 51 straight points to the Chiefs. And then they got rid of their best receiver, DeAndre Hopkins, and said, okay, we got him right where we want him. And here we are. How long ago does that game seem? Forever. Because it was, what, seven and a half months ago? Well, late, late January, right?

Seven and a half months ago. And it seems like it honestly happened five years ago. Yeah, it is. It's scary what this Chiefs team could do. Do you think they pick up right where they left off? Well, let's guess the number here. Well, it's a home game for the Chiefs. I have no fucking idea what that means.

Oh, by the way, we should mention, guess the lines, year 14, every year we guess the lines for every game. I don't check. You don't check. Whoever gets closer wins the week. You keep track. Nobody can understand your scoring system. There's half points.

Everyone's confused by it. Thursday night, Chiefs-Texans. I don't know what home field advantage means. I went with Chiefs minus six. Okay. See, you already screwed up because this game is in London and you didn't check the schedule.

No, it's not in London. All right. Wow. Okay, so I'm going to beat you here. I said nine and it actually is nine. It's that high. Okay. Chiefs by nine.

You want a good number here? Good trend. Underdogs eight plus in week one, the last 20 are four and 16 straight up, but 15 and five against the spread underdogs of eight or more points in week one. So I'm now confused by COVID COVID guests, the lines.

Yeah. It's already, it's on one game in why let's not get a sponsor for COVID COVID guess the lines. It's already one game in. Why? Let's not get a sponsor for COVID guess the lines. I would have said Chiefs nine and a half if there was a crowd. But there's no crowd

and it's Chiefs minus nine. So I'm going to be off by like three points for every game basically. I think I was off by two so we're going to have a run for our money here. So if there was a crowd, are they saying the Chiefs would be favored by like 11 and a half?

Or are they just saying the Chiefs crowd doesn't matter? Well, I guess they're saying, so neutral field, the Chiefs are a six or seven point favorite. And then they did give them, are they giving them two points for traveling? I don't get it. It almost feels like they just don't want people to tease the chiefs and put them in a six point tease.

So they're just like, we're putting this at nine. Fuck you. I think they're the Texans. We don't care. Right. There's that. There's the whole thing.

They're going to score 34, 35 a week. Like you said, they're nine and one, uh, seven and two against the spread. Um, the last nine is a favorite of five or more. So Vegas gets killed on these, uh, these and two against the spread. Um, the last nine as a favorite of five or more.

So Vegas gets killed on these, uh, these chief spreads if it's not a higher number. So it's gotta be nine. It's gotta be 10. It's gonna be around there. I'm disappointed. I was all ready to tease them with like 17.

We'll get it. Next four days, six and a half point teas. We'll do it. Just to, just to, uh, whatever.

Wow. Texans. I would be put this way. I'm not picking them to make the playoffs. They're relying on Will Fuller and Brandon cooks. I wouldn't take the Sean in my fantasy league and I would not pick the Texas to make the playoffs. Brandon cooks has had at least five concussions. It's hard to believe they still allow him to play. And then we'll follow it gets hurt every year. Is there, has he played four straight games in his life? No, he can't.

Those are the two guys that are relying on. And then the ringer fantasy football show guys. Uh, I think it was Craig had a really interesting David Johnson theory, which I enjoyed that bill, that trade. If it doesn't work, Bill O'Brien is basically going to get fired.

So he's got to do everything he possibly can to make it seem like the trade worked. So David Johnson's going to get like 420 touches. Oh, interesting. Kind of like that theory. I thought that was pretty strong. It is weird with Bill O'Brien,

right? He's a very good regular season coach. They've won the division Florida the last five years. And every year we're like, he's going to get fired. That's it for him. And he like kind of, you know, we treat him like Dan Quinn or someone, someone like that, but he's good regular season that offense though. You're right. I don't know the Sean Watson. First of all, these guys are going to show up in Brinks

trucks, right? They're just going to get out between Watson and Mahomes, but he's been sacked Watson 106 times in the last two years. And, uh, the chiefs defense is pretty feisty. Obviously you don't have that crowd behind you, but, um, I like the chiefs here. Definitely money line. And I, uh, I would stay away from the line though. The nine is too high. I think I have for the marquee game of the week. This hurts. This hurts my feelings. See, this is what I mean. You're going to get soft when you actually see him take snaps in that uniform.

The marquee game of the week has to be Saints-Bucks. They put it in the coveted 425 PM Fox spot. Breeze versus Brady. Tampa Bay. A lot of people picking the Saints to win the Super Bowl. I will reveal my Super Bowl pick on Thursday

only because I haven't made it yet. And it's fun to just think of Brady in this division playing Breeze twice a year and Matt Ryan twice a year and just battling the NFC South Gauntlet. Yeah, isn't it nice that there's no Bryce Pettys in there and crap like that? You're going to see your guy, your old guy,

strap it against the top guys in the league. It's fun. Even Bridgewater, who's the worst QB in the division, it's impossible not to root for him after everything he's been through. I really want him to do well. I have Saints minus four over the Bucs. All right. I had five, and it's three and a half.

So you get that. I won that one. These lines courtesy of FanDuel, by the way. Yeah, you win that one. So we're one to one right now. Four is, yeah, I guess four, three and a half seems right. Is this going to be a game where Tampa lays an egg, scores 13 points and like, well, he's just, he's not as good as these receivers are.

He's just not in sync with them. He hasn't practiced with them. You know? Well, I was trying to remember back to previous week ones and how choppy and disjointed they usually are. And they always talk about, oh, continuity is so hard to get. I mean, there's so little of a preseason. It's gotta be worse now. But from what I heard, uh, TB was, was probably doing some workouts with everybody that maybe weren't condoned. I've heard that too. And that would not surprise me. That's the New England cheating way.

And we expect him to drop that all of a sudden? No, of course. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Words hurt. And I think he's just not afraid of COVID. Is that it? Yeah. He's got TB12.

He sells fucking potions. Oh, that's right. He does. And meanwhile, you got Bill Belichick doing Subway commercials. Talk about a spiteful move right there. That does not coincide with the TB12 diet. No, that's right. It's like a direct affront to TB12. He eats a sandwich as TB12 is eating an avocado. We should mention as we're picking these lines and you're doing this too on, on your pods, we teamed up with FanDuel. Yeah. We're doing this free ringer mega contest on FanDuel all season long. Always have wanted to do this. Uh, pick five games against the spread each week. The wrinkle is the double down pick, which we have in the ZFL, um, where a pick is worth two if you hit it. So conceivably you go six and own a week. If you go

five and oh, you hit your double down, get six points for that week. If you go four and one, but you double down and you get five points. Fanduel adds up your score every week. You finish in the top 100 on the season-long leaderboard, and you make the playoffs, and you compete for a share of 25K. It's that simple. It feels like there should be a separate line for will me, you, or house make the top 100? What would you say?

Three to one? Oh, no. It's got to be more than that. Ten to one? I think there'll be a lot of people in this, right? If there's 150 people, we have a chance, but I think, no, there's going to be thousands of this. Twenty to one? Twenty to one, I think. Right.

FanDuel, make that, put some odds on that. Me, Sal, or House. That'd be great. Makes the top 100. You should put ads. I would bet on that, too. Sorry, season-long leaderboard, you can compete for a share of the $25,000. It'd be great. Makes the top 100. You should put ads. I would bet on that too. Season-long leaderboard. You can compete for a share of the $25,000. It's that simple. Play the Ringer Mega Contest for free

every week only on FanDuel. Go to FanDuel.com slash Mega Contest to make your picks. I'm glad we're doing this. I hope it does really well and then next year the prize can be like $700 million or something. That'd be fun, right?

I think it will. A million bucks? You could put some money up, too. You want me to put some money up? We don't have to wage. Put $40, $50 million up. Who cares? All right.

The watchables are our next category. I have six games in the watchables, which I don't know if you agreed or disagreed with that first one. Seahawks at Atlanta. I don't know what that agreed or disagreed that first one Seahawks at Atlanta I don't know what that even means to be at Atlanta uh I I just penciled in Seahawks minus three um I had Seahawks minus two and a half it's one and a half so I was closer right uh yeah I I like Atlanta this year I I did too I have as a playoff team. We talked about Dan Quinn. I think that's the guy who saves his job.

Obviously, they've been crap or mediocre with just some surprise wins here or there since the 28-3 Super Bowl loss. But that's my team. Offensively, they have a chance. I think they are starting 11 players on offense who were first round picks. I think it's going to be explosive. And, you know, I'm not even a big Todd Gurley fan, but 35 touchdowns in two years. So don't count Matt Ryan out.

Did you have him in the aging quarterbacks? I think he's going to, I'd go over on all his numbers. But I like Atlanta as a, just putting up points team. And there's always that one team in the NFC where it's like, oh, shootout. Well, let's go back to Atlanta where blah, blah, blah. So I don't know whether they'll go eight and eight, nine and seven or 10 and six.

But with the extra playoff team, that was who I thought might get that seventh spot. Sure. So you have, what do you have? Three NFC South playoff teams? Or are you going to say that later? I want me to do it now. I had for the NFC,

I had the division winners as New Orleans, the Rams, Dallas, and Detroit. Wow. Okay. I have Tampa, Seattle, and Atlanta as the three wild cards in that order. Gotcha. I think I switched Tampa out for Arizona

and I have boring but Green Bay winning the North and San Francisco in the West. I had to take one. As we know, every year there's at least three how-the-fuck-did-that-happen teams that make the playoffs. We should probably do that. We say that every year, but it's the COVID year.

Everything else is weird. Why don't we take, like, really bet Atlanta to win the division? Really bet, like,'s the COVID year. Everything else is weird. Why don't we take like really bet Atlanta to win the division really bet? Like some team like Arizona, let's find a few at six or seven to one. I actually liked the jets like a couple of months ago. And then like two of their three best players either got traded or opted out. So I was like, screw that, that they don't have a chance, but I think this is a nice, a good enough year to find long shots and play them. It's funny. They, they definitely lower the division odds. So we don't strike oil on those. Like you can get it for like Cincinnati or a team like that, but even the lions were only five to one to win the division,

which I thought they're going to be like 12 to one, but Vegas is very wary of this stuff for the AFC. I had Casey, Pittsburgh, Tennessee, new England. And then I had Buffalo, Indianapolis, and Denver as... I'm sorry, Baltimore, Indianapolis, and Denver as wildcards. And Buffalo getting knocked out. I switched Baltimore and Pittsburgh as the wildcard. Baltimore went in division. I had Tennessee out of there. Indianapolis winning the division.

And we had winning the division. And, uh, we had Denver the same. I might switch Indianapolis and Tennessee before Thursday. Cause I think that's a coin flip and we both, we, we had a lot of success early with Indianapolis and then they just had so many injuries. And I really do think that was a playoff team last year. And they had probably some of the worst injury luck anyone's had. So yeah, my thinking is like, you got to take some chances with these picks and Buffalo shockingly only going nine and seven is, and not, and missing the playoffs by like a hair is realistic to me.

Uh, all right. So next game is Vikings home for the Packers. I just put this Vikings by, uh, by three. I had put this Vikings by three. I had no idea what to do. We both get this. We both said three. It's two and a half. I think Green Bay's better. Again, it's funny.

I ran into Chris Myers, who's hosting, who's calling this game this week. It's like, it's kind of going to be weird going to a stadium where there's no fans. I don't think a team like Minnesota, probably top three or four team that takes advantage of that crowd noise. And I think it's a pissed off Aaron Rodgers this year.

I really do. I don't think there's much digression from their... What did they win? Did they win 13 games last year? I think they won 13. Yeah, but it was like the most picked apart 13 and three with advanced metrics, I think, that we've had. But people say that about Rodgers.

I think there was six and one in one score games. And normally I'm with you. If like Seattle six and one, like, I think, that we've had. But people say that about Rodgers. I think there was 6-1 in one-score games. And normally, I'm with you. If Seattle's 6-1, like, all right, next year, that'll even out. But Aaron Rodgers, how many times have we seen him throw Hail Marys in the fourth quarter or big plays? That's what they do. They win close games. They win one-score games.

I get the metrics and everything. I think Green Bay goes from, like, 13 to 11 wins, but not much lower than that. I didn't like that they didn't, that they basically spent their first round pick on somebody who could not help them at all. Just for this season. Yeah. All right.

They took a, like, they're bringing back basically a worse version of the wide receivers they had last year that aren't that great. He's got Adams and a bunch of cross your finger guys. Lazard. Yeah. I mean,

then they get Dylan in the second round, but to fairness, it's a late first round pick and might've just like you do. It might've been done just to light a fire under, under Aaron Rogers ass. And then that's where that works. We'll see. Pat's home.

With Kyle's new hero, Cam Newton, Cam Newton. Killer Cam. I was watching the challenge, and there's this lady that calls herself Killer Cam, and I was thinking, like, great nickname. It's too bad she took it. I guess Cam is just Cam.

He doesn't even need a last name. Patriots, I have by four and a half over the Dolphins. This is what you like to do. You go low. No one believes in us, but Vandal, Vegas, they do believe in the Patriots, I have by four and a half over the Dolphins. This is what you like to do. You go low. No one believes in us. But Vandal, Vegas, they do believe in the Patriots. I said seven. It's six and a half.

So I get that one. I got to say that's a little too high. Well, you don't think that Coach Belichick has any games circled on his calendar. He probably methodically goes about them all the same. But people say the Tennessee did the Patriots in their dynasty. Coach Belichick has any games circled on his calendar. He probably methodically goes about them all the same. But people say the Tennessee did the Patriots in their dynasty. The Dolphins did. Fitzpatrick did.

He knocked you guys out of a bye, and that screwed everything up. You shouldn't have been playing the following week. It was terrible. To say he has this circled, I think you have to make it seven. I think you just kind of do. And how much would you love it? Just put Tua out there. I know it's not happening. They named Fitzpatrick.

But I would love for Flores to be like, this is what you're getting twice a year for the next five years, however long you want to hold on, old man Belichick, take it. I was disappointed we didn't sign Chosen Rosen just for the one week to get the feeling of the Dolphins offense and then cut them. Right. Classic. That's why Belichick needs to go back to being like cutthroat Belichick.

I think that line's too high, but I also think the Patriots will win. Feels like Patriots win by three and don't cover, which could be recurring. You're going Pats. Pats, Chiefs, Moneyline so far for sure. No, I could see it in your eyes. I got to say, I'm not going to bet on the Pats this week. I feel like I have too much at stake.

I kind of want to see it. I want to make sure it's not like, oh my God, like Kyle's playing middle linebacker. I had no idea. Right, right. You know, three more we were watchables. Ravens Browns is going to be a great one. Excited for that.

That was a borderline Sunday marquee game just for the comedy. I have the Ravens Browns is going to be a great one. Excited for that. That was a borderline Sunday marquee game just for the comedy. I have the Ravens by six. In the, I'll get that. Okay. It's in Baltimore technically. Right. I had eight and a half and it's seven and a half.

So I'm closer. Right. One point. Yeah. Yeah. I noticed house in the new league named his team. Odell Beckham. Did he do?

Did you see that? I think he could do. I think he's planning on doing a little more with that. I think it's a placeholder for some sort of Odell nickname. We'll see how that goes. Remember, Browns beat them last year. That was probably Baker's best year. They have like 320, 340 yards or something.

342, 67%. Divisional rivals, 38, 16, and 1 against the spread if you take the underdog. In week one. I probably would not be putting this in a tease parlay anything because

I remember those Browns Ravens games last year. Yeah. I honestly don't know what to make of the Browns Ravens games last year. Yeah. And I don't, I honestly don't know what to make of the Browns because they, they underachieved by all accounts last year. They had one of the worst coaches. We didn't never thought they were going to top Hugh Jackson.

They somehow did. And now it seems that they have a competent coach. They had another draft. I just, I didn't see anything from Baker Mayfield last year that made me think he's going to be good this year. Well, maybe that's why Kevin Stefanski is good for them. He came over from Minnesota and they had the third most rushing attempts in any team. So he runs like 49% of the time. And how many times did we watch Brown's games last year? And like, just give it to Chubb,

just hand it to Chubb who like missed out on the rushing title by 50 yards. But Jesus, just give it to Chubb. Everyone's like, hey, they got Austin Hooper. They got this this year. It's like, yeah, they had all those shiny pieces last year. How about ball control offense so that you don't have to put that defense on the field? We'll see how it goes. All right, so

if Baltimore is the potential 2020 shocking disappointment team, the AFC, it would have to start with them losing this game. So I'm staying away, but monitoring it very closely. Next one, I have for the watchables, I have Bengals Chargers just for the Joe Burrow part. I'm excited for Joe Burrow. I think he's going to be great.

I have the Bengals favored by one and a half in this game. This was your Waterloo right here. It's Chargers by three and a half. I said chargers by two Cincinnati. So bad. Why did they have two wins last year? Like I doubled their wins to four chargers are favored by three and a half. What, since what are the chargers good? What am I missing? They, they probably have the worst starting quarterback in the league, right? Bottom three? I guess it's Ty Taylor,

but at least he's experienced and Derwin James is out. He's experienced. He's experienced to be a backup. He's starting. They lost Derwin James, who was their best player. Yeah.

I don't know. They're playing at somebody else's stadium. They brought back Anthony Lynn, who all of us thought was going to get fired after last year, who I've really enjoyed on hard knocks. I'm glad they didn't fire him, but I've never really been impressed by him as a coach. He's the MVP of hard knocks. And he looks like, remember when Obama started getting gray hair, like Anthony Lynn, I think his age, 15 years in the three weeks of hard

knocks. Like it's really, but he has, but I can listen to him talk for the full hour. He's so powerful and everything. And so it makes me think maybe the team kind of has their shit together. Wait, hold on. Wait a second. We've had Hard Knocks now for two decades. You know better not to be deceived by a coach on Hard Knocks. The only time it's okay to have an impression

from Hard Knocks was the Dave Campo year where it was like, oh, this guy's terrible. This guy's our coach? He was in a fat suit at SeaWorld. Was that that year? I can't even remember. I think he was. I just remember having so many jokes about him

in my column that year. It was that he was so bad. But the Chargers play in a different stadium every week, so they don't care about that, aside from the travel. This feels like an upset pick for me. I love getting the three and a half. My guy, Joey B. I mean, that would be a great story.

That'll jump to your top three storylines if he pulls off the win in week one. I mean, man, if he could get by this Immortal Chargers team. Oh, come on. Last watchables, 49ers Cardinals. I had the 49ers. It's in Arizona, so I had the 49ers by two and a half. Probably low as we're finding out from these ads. Now I see what you did here. All right. I'm almost positive this game's in arizona so i had the 49ers by two and a half probably low as we're finding out from these now i now i see what you did here all right i'm almost positive this game's in san francisco

but let me check i'll take the loss this could be my weekly loss because i got the location wrong you can't even get it right week one arizona at san francisco yeah i saw the line you're taking a loss i said eight it's. What would you have said? I probably would have said six. Okay. No, but I'd take the loss. Give me an automatic. No, I'm taking a win.

Don't worry about it. I'm telling you, I need the win. I'm taking it. Jesus. COVID gets the lines. I think I'm going to get COVID just from guessing the lines. I'm seven. I'm up seven to two right now.

Yeah, again, this is another Kyle O'Murray MVP if he wins this, right? They'll be screaming at the top of the hill. I knew I was fucked from the moment I was off three points on that Chiefs line. I was factoring all these different things in and obviously was dead wrong. Let's take a break and then we'll finish. What if you were drafting a fantasy football quarterback that completed four out of five of his passes during the season?

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And now, you can try zipcreditor for free go to zipcred.com bs once again zipcred.com bs zipcreditor is the smartest way to hire all right the uh the barely watchables we're still doing guest alliance i have to have a miracle come back which is probably not going to happen the barely watchables bills jets the jets just the staple of the barely watchables or the poop FECTA. I have the bills minus six over the jets. You get this at six and a half. I went as high as seven and a half.

I know where you're going to be rooting this time. Um, yeah, jets were up 16, nothing against the bills in week one last year. Remember? And then they just blow. They just could not score. That was really it for the whole year. You know, there's an alternate universe where this Jets season could have been really fun, right?

I know. And they end up, they lose a couple stars for their defense. One they trade, one opts out. Their best two defensive players, Mosley and Adams. And then they've had some injuries at receiver already.

And then on top of it, this Le'Veon Bell thing is just so clearly leading to him getting released or traded in like mid-October. Like it is the most passive aggressive. You just know where it's heading. So now it just feels like the Jets have the stink on them now. Yeah. Whereas like four months ago, I'd have been like, Hey, the Jets, man, look out for them. I liked them. Donald was seven and six last year. Obviously crazy year. We had mono and was seeing ghosts and all that stuff.

They kind of got it together. If you don't believe in Adam Gates though, maybe you just don't believe this team could get like nine wins or better. So it feels like that should be a first coach fired. At least a look for us. We should look at that too. I've disagreed with basically every decision he's made next barely watchables lions bears i have the it's in detroit i have the lions favored by two and this is could be my zfl double down well i'm i'm i got killed on

this i'm not i don't know why i like chicago so much i thought chicago would be favored by one you're right the lions are favored by three. You said two. So it's right there for you. That could be my fan dual double down. If it ends it, could it end at two and a half before we do the contest or is it locked in? Oh, I don't know. Do they have, they should make all the Lions half.

Can they make them half? Is it too late? Say something. No, I'll make a call. It'll be half lines. Yeah. Raiders,Panthers is our last barely watchable.

The only reason really is the Vegas thing. That this didn't end up in the poopfecta. Right. Except it's not in Vegas. The Panthers are not a team I plan on watching a lot of this year. I don't know about you. There's nine

early games and this is this is on the outside looking in right this is the one where they should have launched the season on the saturday night saturday grabbed one of the shitty games and just been like hey we just covid we're just like throwing shit against the wall here's the saturday night game to you know between thursday and sunday everybody would have been happy i'd love for them to do that. There's still time to do that. Cause as much as it's just a, it's an avalanche of sports right now, like in November, if college basketball doesn't come back, we're not going to have anything during the week. There's not gonna be anything to bet during the week. Uh, like aside from Monday and Thursday football, spread these out a little.

Totally agree. Poop Fecta. Two games. Wait, what did, I don't know if we guessed that one. Did we guess that? Oh, I had, I'm sorry. I had Vegas by one over the Panthers. I had Carolina by one and a half. You get that. It's actually Vegas by three.

Am I coming back here? I just hit three in a row. Seven, five now. Yep. Holy shit. Poop Fecta. Eagles against the Washington professional football team. What's funny

is when I did the Grantland column, when I stopped calling them the Redskins, I used to put that in my thing. Washington professional football team is a joke. And now, is that what they're calling them? The professional team? Oh, really? You actually had that? Yeah, that's in my archives. You can go look at it. Is that an FU?

Is that a Daniel Snyder FU to everybody? Is that what that is? Feels like it. I mean, it's hard. He just wants to make sure that we know we shouldn't run out of ways not to like him. Right, I guess that's it. So he's like, I'm just going to do this.

If he had named them the Snyders, could he have done that? Or would the league have to vote on it? Like, how far can you go with this kind of thing? That's an interesting one. I don't think the league have to vote on it like how far can you go with this kind of thing that's an interesting one I don't think the league has any say over it is that right

I think what what you lose is the sponsors I see the sponsors could be like we're out you're calling your team the Sniders

yeah he could have had a little more fun with it then though if it was just the sponsors I thought he should have called them the monuments yeah that's good

strong name could a cool cool logo that he kind of looks a little phallic and intimidating. Get the big monument on the helmet. Looks like big dicks coming at you as you're trying to escape attack. I don't know. I think it would have worked. Sponsors would love that. I have the Eagles favored by five over the football team.

Yeah, you get that. It's five and a half. I. It's a five and a half. I thought it would be four and a half. Wow. What a comeback. This is Jesus. You're one exciting. One back against the lines.

Seven, six. How many games left? One, two, three, four games left. Okay.

I'm probably too low in this one. Colts at Jaguars are picked for worst team. There's only, as we've learned, you and I have the experience here. There's two weeks where you can get in early on these super duper shitty teams before Vegas is like, oh my God.

And they adjust the lines. And this is one of the two weeks. I have Colts by six. So this is it. I don't know why I gave Jacksonville such a home field advantage, but I said four and a half. You're right.

It's seven and a half. Seven and a half. That's a tease. Now, this is the game. This is the one board on the game I look at and I say, oh, wow, if the Jaguars win this, all my research for the last two months goes to shit. I don't know. I feel like I don't know anything. Maybe Phil Rivers

is just too old. I don't know. So the Phil Rivers is how you lose this. That's got to be how it is. This is us texting each other because we have the Colts and five bets and Phil Rivers throws a pick six

and another pick and he looks like he's 200 years old and we're just swearing at each other that we took Phil Rivers. We knew he was washed up a year ago.

Minshew mania is back and he's got no one. No supporting cast. Minshew'sia is back and he's got no one. No supporting cast. Minshew's getting like fantasy buzz. Yeah. Wasn't there something where he'd give someone a free six pack of beer if they took him number one in their league? Did you see that old thing? I didn't see that, but I think you think like who's this year's Jameis?

Like Minshew's got to be the number one candidate. Could he throw for 300 yards a game and lose by 20 every game? It's possible. I think we should have our agent, James Babydoll Dixon, dip into the bag of luck for Gardner Minshew. I don't know.

Gardner Minshew? I don't know if he's going to do it. He's 7'7". Dixon's used all his luck for Quibi. He's out for another month. He replenishes in October. He's used so much luck for Quibi. He's out for like another month. You forced a lot of luck. He replenishes in October. He's used so much luck for Quibi. I know.

It's not fair. All right. Sunday night. What a game this is. God. I can't wait for Sunday night's pot either way. Cowboys win. You're going to be riding high.

We'll just bet. We'll have basketball on Sunday to play off of too. That's going to be an amazing pod or an early version of the completely despondent cousin Sal coming off a night, night game for the Cowboys. That was a disaster. I hate it already. I hate it already.

This is usually Cowboys giants, right? Like first Sunday night game. It's the one thing you'd count on. They wanted to highlight the new stadium. New stadium, supposedly. Fast field. Could be good for you. Could be great for the Rams. Yeah. What do you have for a number? I have

your Cowboys favored by one and a half. I had it by one, and it was one, and it was picked last month or so. It has shot up to three, so you're going to get that, and you're going to take the freaking lead here. I think I was winning seven to two. What a comeback. This is the best COVID is the best COVID comeback. I don't like this. I should just be lying on these. I don't know why. Um, but I think Dak is, uh, I like him for this guy. I

really do. You don't have Wade Phillips. There's not that, uh, that FU coaching thing with Wade Phillips and the defense on the Rams. They killed him last year. I'm talking myself into it. 67% against when he's a favorite, he throws. This is a win. This is a win. How are you feeling about CD? I'm here. My reports are that he's the best receiver on the field for the Cowboys. So like, that's what I mean. Everything is grand. It's insane. Yeah. The Cooper Gallup fantasy value slash potential thing is going to be really interesting if CD's the best guy they have. Yeah, right.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, there's a really, I don't know how it's going to play out, but there's a really fun version of this Cowboys season where they're just lighting it up, and they're basically the NFC version of the Chiefs. There's room. There's room on the bandwagon if you want. I'll make the room.

I'm going to pass. We won't kick you off. Monday night, just classic, like, half-decent schedule. Yeah. They always do this to ESPN on the Monday nights.

They can't just give them, like, the awesome game. They can't get Saints-Bucks. It's these games that are like, oh, that's okay. Right. First one, Steelers at Giants. They went big market here, right? That's

the idea here? Yeah, sure. I get it. Rejuvenated Steelers, we talked about earlier. Giants team that has every offensive weapon back and Daniel Jones now getting fantasy buzz. And a lot of people have mentioned these five guys haven't played one snap together stat

and all that stuff. I have the Steelers by three and I like the Steelers. We're going to split this. So I have to take the last one from you to tie. It's five and a half. Really against the Giants this year. By the way, Fowler Herbstreet doing this game. Did you know that?

Oh, wow. That's fun. That'll be great. Yeah. I like the Steelers. Feels like put the Steelers in a money line with a couple other teams

and feel pretty good about that. Steelers Patriots. Who's on that Giants defense? It's not looking pretty. Didn't they waive their first round pick from a year ago? The quarterback?

He lasted a year. They cut him. Oh, right. He got arrested. Right. Yeah, they've not had good luck. Wait, hold on. Let me read their thing real quick. They're almost a lock for third place, I think.

Joe Judge? You're not a Joe Judge guy? I mean, I was stunned by the hiring, and I can't believe I don't know how you end up with him. And like Eric B enemy doesn't get hired. I just,

I thought it was so weird that Eric B enemy didn't get hired. You start to think like the Steve Nash thing was, I thought crazy last week. The Eric B enemy thing just feels flat out racist to me. I don't understand how he didn't get a job. Well, that's bad. And especially if Jason Garrett's the offensive coordinator.

And I, I think I'm right when I say Freddie kitchens is part of this staff right jesus hold on yeah giants.com freddie kitchens is a giants tight ends coach um yeah i don't know this is uh this could be a tank too that defense not good third worst in the league they signed blake martinez that's what they did from the packers it gave him too much money. But, um, well,

at least if, if you're a giants fan, at least you feel like you didn't blow the Daniel Jones pick, which seemed like a, like a historically disastrous pick. And now it seems like, ah, that guy actually is going to be pretty good.

Like we didn't fuck that one up. Exactly. Saquon is amazing. Well, that's the thing. Can you, can you save Saquon? Can you save one of his best years for when

the team is decent? Because now we're getting in that area where he was injured a little bit last year, took some mileage off his legs. I don't know. Well, this is like when we were growing up and Walter Payton was just on shitty Bears teams for like 10 years. Remember that? Right, right.

I don't even remember watching him in a playoff game. That's true. And then finally, when he made it with the 85 Bears, he was in that Julius Irving, 83-6er stage. He was still good, but he wasn't dominant like he was. They made it up to him. They gave him a touchdown run from the one-yard line

in the Super Bowl. Oh, no way. They gave it to the referee. They gave that to the fat guy. All right. Comes down to this. Great game, by the way. Titans-Broncos.

We didn't talk about the Titans a lot, but they signed Clowney. I thought they were really good last year. I definitely have them in my who could make the Super Bowl list if something weird happens to the Chiefs. I have the Titans by three over the Broncos. I can't root for them because I work with Clay Travis.

Most of my energy is focused against that team and should be yours too they they knocked your patriots out of playoffs you're gonna win this week what happened i had minus two for denver my favorite afc team and it's tennessee minus one so you get it you won this week you came all the way back you had who'd you have favored i had den Denver favored by two. Oh, I win. Yeah, yeah, you win. Unbelievable. 10 to eight, if you count the ties,

as a win for both of us. God, I really stuck it to you. I don't want to do this. What a comeback. You were like getting all braggy and starting to feel good about yourself. And then the fucking rug came out. That game starts 10-20 Eastern.

I can't wait to gamble on all these. I will be doing million-dollar picks on the Thursday pod. So after putting some more thought into this stuff. I have to hand it to you. I feel like you came prepared. I was like, oh, I don't know. Simmons is so NBA-holish. I don't know what he's going to know.

I wonder if he even knows about Tampa and getting Tom Brady. But no, you knew all that stuff. That's great. You knew I was prepared? Why? Because it's a pandemic. I have nothing to do all day. I have no office to go to.

Boy, you whipped up that new fantasy league. I mean, that was like changing a baby's diaper speed. Like at that, it was like a contest kind of there. You, you got that going in like 25 minutes. Did you have, I had already figured it out.

I had a feeling that I was going to get voted out. Oh no, you didn't. No, I really did. I really did. I can tell from the text chains and, and usually you tip me off.

Like you're safe. You didn't say anything this year. I know. I had already, I had already planned it out. All right. Good for you. Well, you'll be back next year. It's all fun.

I can't think of anything worse. All right. Before we go, America has been waiting for it. This episode of the BS podcast is brought to you by CarMax. America's number one used car retailer. The presenting sponsor of Parent Corner for the second straight year. Remember when we used to joke about,

oh my God, this should have a sponsor. These are so, and then we actually have, now we have a return presenting sponsor. Yeah, they're still in business after sponsoring us. It's after sponsoring us and giving Kyle a car, they're still in business. Whether you're buying or selling, our friends at CarMax are on your side.

Seven day money back guarantee, full week to decide if it's the right car for you. Kyle a car, they're still in business. Whether you're buying or selling, our friends at CarMax are on your side. Seven-day money-back guarantee. Full week to decide if it's the right car for you. Simply return it for a full refund if you don't like it. No questions asked. And if it's time to sell, stop by CarMax today to get a custom offer on your car. Sal, when does Archie get his license? It's coming up. We're

taking him around the church parking lots and driving. I think it's still six months out, though. What about you? My daughter is a month older than your son. So is she driving? Maybe we do CarMax when we get them cars. Maybe if they come back for a third year. Wow, we are really tempting fate here with CarMax.

But yeah, we have a lot of irons in the fire. I think we should try it. You can leave with payment in hand or take a week to think it over. It's Carbuy and CarSign the way it should be at CarMax. Check them out today. CarMax.com. All right, Sal, it's been a while. Parent, owner, you have the floor. This one happened a couple of weeks ago. I told our cousin Jimmy about it and he was hysterically laughing. He was skittish about me making this public. And I've been told my mother would go absolutely nuts if she heard this story, but I'm letting it go. It's week one. Let me set the scene. I don't know how it is around your

house the day before school, the day before virtual school. But that night, my wife is downstairs with the kids and it is a mad scramble. People screaming at each other. I wasn't invited to this zoom class yet. I don't have this login. What am I going to do at seven 30 in the morning? I don't know. Like that's one. And then my middle kid, we found out that he did not do any of his required Sunday, uh, summer reading. And so my wife was furious about it. She's screaming and, uh, she's trying to get it all together in a matter of minutes. And I'm upstairs in the bedroom. This is where our maturity level is.

I'm online trying to figure out bets for the next day that I'm going to place on Fox Bet Live. So she's doing all that. I'm making bets in the room. Maybe I had stomach issues. Gets a little nauseating here, but I had a little stomach issues. My wife walks in finally to complain about the kids downstairs, especially my middle kid who didn't do the summer reading.

And she's like, can you believe like, and then she's like, oh my God, it smells like an effing diarrhea farm in here. And I just started laughing so hard. Like I said, I had stomach problems and I was laughing so freaking hard. Any gas related humor, I'm out of it anyway. So I get up and try, she's like, you better get it together. And she runs out of the room and I go to chase after her and I'm laughing so hard. Like I can't catch my breath. You know, when like you have to stop yourself from laughing and right. But like you're in church or something.

I wasn't in church, but I still could not stop. I was gasping for air, struggling to catch my breath, struggling so much that I passed out and hit my head on the floor, on the ottoman, right by the bed and knocked my shoulder into the floor and head. And I woke up probably 10 or 15 Mississippi later with my wife and my son who had not done his required summer reading over me like, dad, are you okay? Are you okay? And I actually thought it was like the next day. It was like being in a sleeper hold, but I basically choked myself out for laughing about how well I farted up the room. And then once my wife saw I was okay, she was like, you better, you have to get your shit together. And she walked out of the room, but that's basically the story.

I knocked myself out. Did you get a concussion? Like what happened? I think I just cut off my own air supply by not being able to read and not being able to breathe. And so I sleeper myself and my wife heard the collapse and she's like, what the hell is that? And they walked over, ran over to me. I don't know what they did because I was unconscious.

And then about 10 or 15 seconds later, I came to and I'm okay. I don't know if I had a mini stroke or what, but I mean, I can't think of a better way to have gone, right? If I had to die, like if I die from COVID in three weeks, I'm gonna be really pissed. Like, ah, that was so much better way to die with the kids hovered over me and everything else. Bragging about a fart. Yeah. Bragging about a fart.

And my wife probably wouldn't have been able to tell anyone because it was, it was her fault. She scolded me right into, uh, right. She fart shamed you. That's exactly right. So she, so nobody probably would have known this story had I died, except maybe my middle child would have said something. But yeah, that's my parent corner. It's barely parent related, but I thought people should know. I'm just glad people are still farting freely and happily in your house.

It's great. We have no air conditioning. I'm farting. My wife and football's coming up. I wouldn't be surprised if she leaves me. I did a mini parent corner on Sunday night with Rosillo about my son's first fantasy league, which he did with the eighth graders, the year older than me. He'd never been in one before we went through it. He was immediately hooked. He had his first moment where he's trying to load up

on the Chiefs. Third round, he thinks he's getting Travis Kelsey. Somebody takes Kelsey right before him. He throws a tantrum and he was just by the end of, he's like, that's great. I want to be more of these. Well,

he started another league with his friends from school, those seventh graders. So that one's happening. And then apparently he's in a third league that he's in with some other people that he knows from playing 2K. And I was like, Ben, you can't really be in more than two leagues. Like, it's hard. You start having guys on different teams.

You can't remember who you're rooting for. And he said, well, if I don't like my team, I won't care about that league. I just won't ever go there. I'll just quit. I'm like, I'll just, I won't care about that league. I just won't ever go. I'll just quit. I'm like, no, no, you can't do that either.

This isn't, this isn't, uh, you know, you do a fan and you're like keeping your word. He's like, well, but if I just leave the league,

what are they going to do? And I'm like, no, no, no. So I'm now explaining to him like the ethics of like fantasy league. It's a commitment. Got to do it.

So we're trying to talk them. But my point is my son has this addictive personality, right? You saw it with wrestling. I think you're right. Michael Jackson, Madden, Fortnite, 2K. He kind of gravitates from one thing to another. Weapons ordered on Amazon. Right.

Oh, the Hamilton was another one four years ago. My kids are dressed up as Hamilton characters doing whole things from thing. I think fantasy football is becoming his new obsession. Good. Is it good?

Yeah. I think you gave him the wrong advice. I'd be like, like yeah be in three leagues because one of your better friends might kick you out of one of them so it's always good that's right your feelings will get hurt you'll be betrayed by someone you thought you're a friend you should stay in more yeah i uh i think i see him becoming obsessed and i think this is a huge win not just for me not just for Corner, but for all of us, because he's actually going to be watching football with me now on Sundays.

Absolutely. Really like sitting down and going nuts on the ticker and all that stuff. And I get to live fantasy football. I get to live through it vicariously. You were different. Your son was into it. How old was he when you started doing it? Probably about 12.

But now he's in like four leagues. Yeah. Right. And I remember because you were talking about that on Parent Corner, like, he's in like four leagues and yeah. Right. So there's, and I remember cause you were talking about that on parent corner, like my son finally got into it and now he, why now he, every Sunday he's with you watching the games, looking at his phone, all that stuff. So now that seems like where this is going to go with my son. I'm kind of delighted. It's great. And you get to teach him new things. Like you're watching and like you,

you, you surprise yourself how much you have to teach your kid like if he has a receiver that needs three points with all of the fourth quarter left but the team's up 24 you're like you're not gonna win they're not gonna pass the ball much here like and they're like what you see the crestfall yeah why aren't they throwing well you're up 24 with two minutes left right so i'm excited for you i. It's fun. It's the only thing that sucks is 2020. Like, you know,

part of when we were growing up and doing this, or we were already growing up, but fantasy football, you had inappropriate names, like, shit swine left and right. And now it's like

this safer world with fantasy football where even like you're, like, be careful with your fantasy name, make sure it doesn't cross the line. Yeah, that's true too. It's like the walking on eggshells fantasy football, where even like you're like, be careful with your fantasy name, make sure it doesn't cross the line. Yeah. So it's like the walking on eggshells,

fantasy football era. Well, Ben will be respectful of that. I think it's unclear. It's unclear. So he's really into it. But anyway, fantasy football has claimed another victim.

And, you know, I just think Matthew Barry is going to be able to keep doing this until. Yeah. What? he's 90. Yeah, I think so. They'll be propping him up like Larry King on CNN. I thought about him because they would do, ESPN would do that marathon, right? Was it 24 hours or was it even more?

Now he's our age. I guess it makes sense to not even attempt that, right? On Zoom? I don't know. Well, he's doing the marathon, but he's our age. We're at the age now where you're passing out after a fart. Yeah, exactly. Much less staying up for 24

hours straight. Who knows? My mother's going to kill me. Remember, Parent Corner brought to you by CarMax. Experience car shopping your way at CarMax. Thanks to our friends at CarMax. More ways to shop, test drive, buy a great used car than ever before. You can buy online at CarMax. Thanks to our friends at CarMax. More ways to shop, test drive, buy a great used car than ever before.

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Buy online or at a CarMax near you today. All right. You have 45 seconds to plug stuff. You have so many things to plug. I don't know what to say. I'll go to extrapoints.com.

You'll find all our podcasts, Extra Points with Dave and Charlotte. We got a fantasy podcast with Jerry Ferrer and Jen Piacenti. And against all odds with the fellas, subscribe to the blue and red one on Spotify. And there we go. TJ Hushmanzada, Jeff Schwartz has a podcast. And I think I'm forgetting one. Oh, Rachel Bonetta and I have a comedy podcast. And Fox Bet Live, 2 p.m. Pacific time on FS1.

What's Harry's craziest bet? You know, we're at the six-month anniversary of the Rudy Gobert game. Basically. Is it really? Yeah. What's the single craziest bet Harry's made in the last six months? So Harry,

we talk about these bed, and we call them bed aches and it's basically bad beats. Harry had, I think this is going to be tough to beat. I think his name was sits BS or something. It was a tennis player, us open. The guy is up two sets to one, five games to one, 30 love and loses.

Oh, wow. And I laughed. As funny as it is, it's even funnier hearing him tell it. And I laughed immediately. What are odds like that? Two sets to one, five games to one, 30 love on serve. He was serving. What are the odds? 80,000 to one. I to love on serve. He was serving. What are the

odds? 80,000 to one? I can't even imagine. Yeah. So that's it. That's where Harry is right now. By the way, we had yet again, a number one seed getting knocked out early in US Open. I mean, it was a little quirky this time because Djokovic, but we talk about that every year, how these older number one seeds have won a couple of titles. That's like the greatest gambling advantage you can have. They're always like minus a million as favorites. And it's like, Oh my God. So,

and so lost in the third round and the, and the number one seeded female lost too. Yeah. And nailing a lines judge in the throat with a ball was like a 65 to one. If you got that, how he was going to exit the tournament. Do you think he should have owned it a little and stood over and been like,

come on, get up. It wasn't that bad. Come on. There's a picture of him with his hand on her shoulder and her looking back like, don't you even, are you kidding me right now? Get off.

Try to dig that up. It's insane. He knew immediately after that he was toast. But yeah, it's a- I feel like there was a better replay of it that they all decided to bury. Oh, really? Yeah, how did they not have a replay

of him hitting this lady in the neck? There's a replay. I mean, it's a little wider angle, but you could find it. You didn't see it? Not like a... I just feel like they had a better shot that could have been really bad for him

that they've just like... Yeah. Like Zapruder film style. We'll see it in three years after it's been edited by Life Magazine. So it's sort of like the tennis instant replay

like when they challenge a call and you see exactly where it hits the hair on the line. You'll see where on the throat. Do you think she wasn't looking? It was so fast. It was really so fast.

But basically they said like, hey, she got hurt. That's all that matters. It doesn't matter if you hit it towards her. But to me, basically they said like, Hey, she got hurt. That's all that matters. It doesn't matter if you hit it towards her. But to me, like this is going to sound insensitive, but what if she's trying to get out of the way of his shot and she tears her ACL?

Is he out then too? It's all. I thought it should have been a set penalty. Yeah. The match was a little excessive. Yeah. It's like an overreaction. It really,

um, Sal, as always, good job by you. Good job by you, Billy. yeah it's weird it's like an overreaction these are touchy times Sal they really are Sal as always good job by you good job by you Billy